#(these are going to continue being sporadic and between other things)

[egophiliac]

i feel like idia might have a rotom

ooh and if I may expand on this: Idia HAD a Rotom, and then he built himself a brother around it. Rotom (Ortho form).

I'm counting Rotom as Ortho's pokemon, so I'm also giving Idia a Porygon-Z (shiny, because ~color coordinating~) and a very lonely Minun.

[so-much-for-the-seashells]

Logan Howlett, the man you are. (Headcanons!!)

Minors, do not interact.

A/N: Y’all. I’ve been in a writing rut, but something about Logan- and Huge Jackedman, by extension- regaining his moment in the spotlight has gotten me back at it. Hugh was 1000% the reason I found out that I have a thing for dilfs, and let me tell you, I ain’t mad about it. To quote one author, who I can’t remember off the top of my head but wrote a KILLER breeding kink fic for Wolvie, “before there was Jensen Ackles, there was Hugh Jackman.” If you know me or my work, you know I’m a Jackles girl, but Hugh? Hugh will always get me going, whether he’s a ringleader, a robot shadow boxer, or otherwise.

TLDR I’m so in love with Hugh/Logan again. I always am, but I’m really on fire rn. Don’t worry, I will be continuing the 2SC series, but I needed this.

As always, all interaction, especially your words, is so very much appreciated!! I hope you like this one! Also, thank you for 120 followers! This account is maybe three months old, this is an insane milestone.

CW: it’s really just soft with a side of spice, the most flavorful being daddy/breeding.

-first of all, this man is a the biter.

-and it’s not always in a sexual sense

-he’ll just walk up to you and gently graze his teeth against your exposed shoulder or neck

-especially at night, after sex or not. He’ll be holding you close- you’re the little spoon ofc🎀- and just nibble on the juncture of your neck and shoulder while you cuddle into him

-honestly, it doesn’t hurt. And he only leaves marks if he wants to, ie when he’s balls deep inside of your little cunt OR wanting to remind the world who you belong to

-he’s just got a bit of an oral fixation is all

-speaking of which, he could be between your thighs for the rest of eternity and he’d be fine with it. He LOVES when you tug on his hair as he makes you squirm, only needing one strong hand to hold you down

-he goes feral when he sees you wearing his shirts

-loves to throw you over his shoulder and to play fight

-he’s interested in anything you’re interested in

-mans can’t cook to save his life but adores watching you and “helping”

-aka being all up in your business when you’re literally just trying to chop an onion

-he can be clingy. Not in a whiny way, in a playfully annoying way.

-will always find a way to make you late to anything. Sometimes it’s for the sake of a quickie, other times it’s because he wants one more kiss or to see the last five minutes of whatever show you guys watch together

-if you’re into daddy, he’s into daddy. Especially if you’re significantly younger than him

-he likes to squish you- your boobs, tummy, ass, wherever. He loves your body for what it is and loves you

-this man is so in love with you, by the way

-he’s old as hell but if you teach him how to text he’ll text you sporadically throughout the day. Sometimes it’s really blurry, almost impossible to decipher, pictures of things that remind him of you, other times it’s “When will you be home?” even though he’s already called you to ask four times. That’s mainly on his days off though- if he’s not doing something or you then he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

-that’s not to say he’s not always thinking of you. On missions, wherever, you’re the first thing in his mind. Give him a locket with a picture of the two of you and chances are he’ll wear it forever

-oh back to the other one he totally texts like an old man. If you try to use slang, or even just use “u,” you’ll confuse him so bad that he’ll think he’s in the future or that you’re speaking a different language. He also doesn’t like emojis, unfortunately 😞

-he’s got a sweet tooth. Loves to bake with you- he can’t cook but he can make a mean batch of snickerdoodles. No one knows why, and he’ll never offer any explanation.

-speaking of sweets that’s why he loves eating you out so much, because you taste so sweet to him

-and all of his nicknames are sweet based- sweetheart, sweets, sugar, etc- with the exception of darling which coming from him would put anyone on their knees immediately

-speaking of being on your knees he loves when you do it. Not as much as he loves eating you out, but he does enjoy a solid blow once in a while

-he’s a sucker for cockwarming, even if it’s barely sexual. Just as a way to be close. If you don’t mind him smoking he’ll smoke a cigar while you do so, and get into a nice soft headspace

-the kink of his that annoys him the most is breeding. He doesn’t want kids (unless you do, which is its own conversation. Personally I don’t so works for me haha) but when he’s balls deep, pushing you into the mating press, it doesn’t matter. Especially if you’re in a place where he can fuck you raw all the time- ie you take the pill, have had a hysterectomy, etc- then he will, and he will always spill his seed deep in you, mind filling with pictures of you all round and swollen and cute even if it’s impossible

-however it is hot when he gets in that headspace regardless of if kids are in the question or not

-hang on I thought of something else and then I forgot it

-uhh

-oh that’s it. Praise. Loves getting it, loves receiving it. If you’re more receptive to degradation he’ll give you that, but he loves telling you what a good girl you are

-also has a blast with brat taming

-anyways back to the soft stuff

-he loves domestic life. Curling up with you on the couch with fluffy blankets and snacks, watching rom coms and other cheesy movies

-he’ll rest his head in your lap if you’re drawing, crocheting, reading, etc

-he loves being petted. Your hands in his hair, tracing his muscles, whatever. It makes him so happy and it’s soothing for him

-and we all know how he’s mr gruff n tuff, right?? Well if he’s really eepy and lying on his lap while you stroke his hair, there’s an ever slight chance you can get him to purr. Don’t tease him about it, though, or he’ll get super self conscious

-if you like to workout he’ll work out with you

-he really likes to box to blow off steam, but if it’s with you and you’re not a fellow mutant it’s more play fighting than anything, but it’s still fun

-he’s a sucker for cheesy dates

-call him ‘Lo’ or ‘Wolvie,’ or any nickname that fits him. He thinks it’s adorable, and owns it. He also gives you like fifty nicknames of his own.

-he loves long walks on the beach if it’s accesible, hiking’s also fun to him

-he’ll never take his anger out on you, ever

-he loves reading with you, just sitting in comfortable silence with your respective books

-that’s all for now!!

If you have any ideas for ficlets or headcanons, my asks box is always open!! Xx

[scuderiasundays]

free ride

summary: friction, spontaneous gifts, and revelations on a ride home + a little insta au at the end 💌

words: 673

a/n: a short blurb! haven't written in months but may post sporadically. tagging @vamossainz55, @sainzcaleruega, @monzabee, and @silverstonesainz just because. any and all feedback much appreciated as always! hugs and kisses 🫶🏼

“You can be so clingy sometimes.” Lando let out a sigh, one that was tinged with deep disapproval. He continued to hastily shove his belongings into the duffel bag you had gifted him mere weeks ago. Standing in the hallway, your mind couldn’t help but play back the memory of a happier time.

-

“You’ve gotten me a gift and it’s not even my birthday. If this is a taste of what a lifetime with you looks like, sign me up!”

Lando twirled with the sleek leather bag over his shoulder. Qatar Airways had lost his prized duffel (another “perk” of being a frequent flyer). While you were well aware he could easily afford a replacement, the sheer thought of giving back to him put a smile on your face.

“Check the luggage tag,” you said. He turned it over in his hand, revealing the number one engraved in gold.

“You do realize my driver number is four, right? Or was this meant for Max?“ He said, his lips turning upwards in a cheeky grin.

“Shut up, I just wanted you to show you how much I believe in you—my future world champion.”

“How did I get so lucky?” He pulled you close, cupping your face with both hands before planting a kiss on your forehead.

-

You shook yourself out of it as the front door slammed, realizing your vision start to blur. With 24 races on the calendar and work keeping you in London, it wasn't a total shock that things had gone south. Yet as you tried to make sense of it all, you couldn't decipher if it was Lando speaking or just the exhaustion from a 13-hour flight getting to him. All you did was ask if he wanted to join you for dinner with friends tonight, and he’d deemed you “clingy.”

-

You heard your phone buzz on the kitchen island as you grabbed the keys. It was Ashley calling. He’d call you on occasion when Lando asked him to but it surprised you nonetheless. He sounded worried as he explained that Lando wasn't feeling well at the MTC and needed someone to pick him up. Feeling a sense of urgency, you quickly shifted gears, realizing that you’d have to take a rain check on tonight’s plans.

-

Lando looked pale and small as he climbed into the passenger’s side of your car. You tried to help him in but he swatted your hands away, a lingering reminder of the tension between you. You turned up the radio to drown out the deafening silence when you suddenly heard his voice.

“I’m sorry about this morning.” You could just make out his eyes shifting from the window to you in your peripheral vision. To be perfectly honest, you hadn’t expected an apology out of him so soon.

“I never meant to tell you this but the thought of you walking away from me and us…Well, just thinking about it makes me queasy. I was on the sim and I realized I’d hurt you and my mind started spiraling and-”

You pulled the car over to the side of the road as his breathing shallowed.

“Hey, everything’s going to be fine.” You wiped the tears from his face and placed your hand on his thigh. It took a few minutes but you saw the color gradually return to his face.

“Anywhere you want to go? It’s rare you let me drive so I’m taking it all in.”

“Up to you. I’m just here for the free ride.” He giggled.

“Free, huh? Well, this girl charges in secrets. So, where’s Carlos headed next season?”

Lando ran his hands through his curls, a nervous tick of his.

"I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

He flashed a devilish grin, his eyes twinkling in the evening glow. As much as you despised the complications that came with all the time zones and miles apart, there was no doubt you'd find your way back to each other at the end of each day.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, and 41,414 others

yourusername: i cry a lot but i am so productive! it's! an! art!

fan1: love that she's a swiftie but is lando the reason behind all her crying 🤨

fan2: if so, it's on sight!!!

landonorris: begging you to clear my name and confirm i am, in fact, the world's best boyfriend

yourusername: i love you but what did we say about a growth mindset?

carlossainz55: humble him, reina 🤭

yourbestfriend: love the fact that pimm fits perfectly in your 🚲 basket

pietra.pilao: soooo much love for you ❤️

[isthemedia]

Poolerverine-Yoink! (1/2)

Since Ao3 is down for maintenance right now.

Here it is! Part One of two. Ao3 link to come when it's up and running again!

@manicpixxiedreambitch

@leo-i-am

@nickisgirl

(Since ya'll left comments figured to tag ya)

=====================================

Logan thought he had an idea of how Wade’s moods went. Sure they were sporadic and nearly unpredictable. The keyword being ‘nearly’. There were little tells Wade had, probably just natural instincts and habits his body did. Despite the constant dying and regenerating Wade’s body did-a story Logan STILL isn’t sure he was ready for-it seemed that there were just some things that always came back to Wade. 

The way his hands would twitch when he’d be on a short fuse, ready to fight or maim or pull out god knows what kind of weapon from who knows where. Luckily Logan knew how to take a hit. He also knew just WHERE to hit to get Wade somewhat under control. 

How Wade’s leg would bounce from being cooped up for too long-sometimes five minutes would be too long. Logan needed to yank him by the hood of his sweater as he tried to climb out of the window to the fire escape cause he needed out ASA-NOW. 

How some nights, when he’d be jolted awake from his own nightmares and warped memories to see Wade also up on the pull-out. The glow of the tv casting an eerie blue glow over him, as he’d just watch whatever was playing…without a word. At least Logan thought Wade was watching what was ever on during the first few times it happened. However, once he’d get a better look, he could see Wade…well, how did that saying go? Lights are on but nobody’s home? Something like that. Those times, well, those times were the ones he didn’t really have an idea on how to handle. 

Logan figured he learned enough of those cues and habits that nothing could really surprise him with Wade anymore. 

But it was just like the fucker to come up with something new. 

Which is where Logan was now. Staring at the lump in the middle of the pull-out’s mattress. Just what the hell was Wade doing? Sure the man could be lazy, but this was something else entirely. 

“Come on!” He gave a kick to the pull-out, jostling it somewhat. “Get up! This thing takes up enough space as is!” 

Wade refused to move. Hell, he wasn’t even saying anything. It was actually pretty damn quiet, that the familiar snikt sound seemed almost too loud. “Wade, ya know I won’t be afraid ta force yer ass out.” 

No response. 

Not even a snark.

And that was pissing Logan off the most. 

That does it! Raising his claws, ready to--

A knock came on the door. 

The sound was enough to knock some of the fury out of Logan. He couldn’t quite stop the growl that left him as he turned away from Wade, claws sheathing back, and stormed over to the door. He nearly tore it off the hinges when a second round of knocking started up. “WHAT!?” 

“Huh, you do have fangs.” 

Logan faltered some. Embarrassment was quickly quelling most of the boiling rage. “Ah--Vanessa, um…” 

Vanessa smiled sweetly. “It’s fine. I had worse greetings-and most of those came from Wade. Which, by the way, gotta call from Al,” she continued. “Mind if I step in?” 

“Huh? Ah, yeah sure,” Logan stepped aside and let her in. He noticed she had a canvas bag slung over her shoulder. Figured she was out doing errands. Even though it didn’t work out between the two of them, Logan could still feel how much the two loved each other. That both would drop whatever they were doing if the other needed help. 

Vanessa made her way over to the pull out and knelt down. “How long has he been like this?” She asked. 

“Hm? All monrin’.”

“Ahhh,” she sounded like she knew exactly what was going on. Probably did, she was with him long enough. 

“He’s done this before?” 

“He has, but it’s been a while since the last time,” she set the bag down and started digging through it. “He’s not gonna move for a while when he gets like this. Well, at least when somebody can see him.” 

“Gonna fill me in on what’s goin’ on?” Logan asked as he made his way over to her. Peering over he could see the bag was filled with…quite a bit of stuff. And all of it was stuff Wade liked. Snack, drinks, shit he saw a couple of toys in there too. Looked more like something you’d bring for a sick kid.

“Hard to explain,” Vanessa said as she pulled out a small Hello Kitty plush toy. “But you know how some people just, shut down sometimes? Burnout? Crash?” 

“Yeah?” He knew that all too well. “Wait, is that what this is?”

“Kinda?” She said. “It kinda is, but kinda isn’t.” Logan huffed. These answers were getting him nowhere. “You know about his cancer, right?” 

“Y-yeah.” He kinda felt like an asshole when he decided to ask what happened to Wade. He thought all that scarring was from like a fire or a chemical spill-or maybe his mutant gene just made him look like at. It wouldn’t be out of the possibility-hell he knew Beak. He didn’t know that Wade had cancer-STILL has cancer. That his healing factor wasn’t healing that cancer, just kept replacing it. That those scars were from it. That he’s constantly dying and regenerating. 

“Well, some days that pain gets to be too much,” Vanessa continued. “Says that even the voices in his head get too grating to listen too. That everything feels like static cause he’s being watched. Like sticking your tongue to a 9 volt battery, kind of static.” 

Well now he really felt like an asshole now. Dammit. He shoulda realized something was bad when Wade stopped being so damn chatty. “So what do we do when he’s like this?” 

“Not much,” Vanessa said. “Just time, and just making sure he’s alright,” she added with a slight grin. “Watch this.” 

Logan wasn’t sure, but that grin Vanessa had reminded him of Jubilee’s when she managed to steal some snack from Hank’s hidden stash in his lab. She always managed to somehow just pull out the good without knowing. He watched as Vanessa set the plush toy on the edge of the pull-out. She slowly inched it closer to the mound on the bed. She got about three inches away, when--

Logan blinked. 

It happened so fast he wasn’t sure just what he saw. Vanessa was too busy laughing, the plush toy gone from sight. 

So he did see that right. Wade snatched it and took it under the blankets with such speed it was almost cartoonish. 

“That-is what I call the Yoink-Zone,” Vanessa explained. 

“The what?” 

“Yoink-Zone,” she grinned. “It’s hard to get Wade to come out from under the covers like this-cause again static feeling. So I had to find some way to make sure he ate something. Found this out through trial and error,” she explained as she pulled out a small pack of fruit shaped marshmallows. “It’s dumb, but it works.” 

“I guess,” Logan heaved a sigh. 

“Here, your turn,” Vanessa said as she handed him the packet of marshmallows. 

“The fuck you mean, my turn?” 

“Hey, you live with him now, so that means you gotta take care of him.” 

Logan wanted to argue with her. He didn’t need to do shit.

But that wasn’t true. Hell, if this was all it took, it was the least he could do. Wade did more for him and dealt with his nightmares. Taking a set of claws to the gut. Needing to calm him down from his fight-or-flight response. Hell there was one time he bit off two of Wade’s fingers cause he got too close to his face. And the asshole had the gall to tell him it was all alright. 

This was less destructive at least. 

Logan slid the marshmallows towards the lump of blankets, and again, lighting quick they were snatched up. “...yeah this is dumb.” 

Vanessa laughed and smiled warmly, before inching her hand towards the ‘Yoink-zone’. Instead of getting snatched violently, Logan watched as Wade reached out and took her hand. Fingers threading together, and just holding her hand gently. “Things are gonna be alright Wade,” Vanessa said softly. “I’ll stop by later on if this keeps up, but Logan should be able to take it from here then. That's alright?” She felt him squeeze her hand softly before letting go, giving a thumbs up, before disappearing underneath the pile of blankets. 

She got up, one of her knees gave a pop while doing so. “Got a couple of snacks and drinks in that bag,” she gestured. “I’ll take it back next game night.” 

“Alright, ah…thanks Vanessa,” Logan nodded as he walked with her back to the door. 

She took his arm and patted it. “It’s no problem. I know Wade can be…well, Wade…but I know you’ll help him out with this.” 

“Yeah, I got it,” he nodded. They shared their good-byes and Vanessa was on her way. Logan leaned back against the door and heaved a sigh. This was probably going to be a long week. He hoped it wasn’t going to last long, but then again Vanessa made it seem like there was no real time frame for how long this thing lasted. 

He made his way back over to the pull-out. Mary-Puppins was now beside it, whining as she stared up at the edge that seemed to be too far out of her reach. 

Alright, this could be a bit mean, but then again, Wade loved the ugly thing. So maybe it wouldn’t hurt. Logan scooped her up and set her on the bed. Watching as she sniffed and toddled closer to the pile of blankets. When she was near that space-yoink!

Mary yelped as she was pulled under. Logan heard concerned shushing and small mumbling-Wade absolutely trying to appease the dog he probably spooked like that. Logan couldn’t help but laugh at the whole thing. He only proceeded to laugh even harder when one of Wade’s hands snuck out from under the blanket to flip him off. 

--

It was only the second day of this mood of Wade’s. Logan had to go out and restock on things for the merc, since the bag Vanessa brought was emptied before noon. And to be honest, Logan needed that time to be out of the apartment. 

Some thoughts were starting to rear their ugly heads again. The more he tried to push them back. Or cut them off-only to have two more replace them. Fucking hydra analogy, like the actual hydra and not the organization…though isn’t their motto something like that?

Whatever. 

He sighed as he roamed the aisles. Maybe after this he should start thinking about moving out. It’s not like he wants to-well not fully. It’s cramped, three adults and a dog all staying in a one bedroom apartment? Two over six foot men sharing a pull-out? The apartment itself definitely has seen better days-hell seen better years with the upkeep. 

Sure they could probably move-Althea included, he knows Wade wouldn’t want to leave her behind. Despite their sniping back and forth, and that godawful namesake Wade gave her, he did care about her. Shit, Logan did too. There was something about her…she wasn’t Chuck, that’s for sure. But there was just something about her. Something comforting and welcoming. She definitely filled a gap that was missing for him. 

While all moving out together sounded nice-well, alright that was the problem. It was a nice thought. A nice idea for a nice, somewhat domestic, somewhat fucked up future. 

But, if there was one thing Logan learned in his long life was this: Logan Howlett doesn’t get a nice life. 

That’s just how it was. That was why he seriously needed to think about moving out, and away from them. Because he was getting too accustomed to the idea of living with Wade. Too comfortable with the other man laying right by him. Being a constant in his day-to-day life. 

Great so much for escaping those thoughts. 

He wasn’t sure what it was with Wade, but there was something there. Something he’s been missing for years. The lines between companionship and desire were starting to blur. Fuck he’s been alone way too long to think of Wade like that. 

Then again, it isn’t just because he’s been alone for so long. Wade was different. Different then a lot of people-and he wasn’t meaning his looks or that weird quirk of him making comments to someone he couldn’t see. Wade sorta just, accepted him. The good and the bad. Wade didn’t try to change him, or make him more suitable for living with him and Althea. 

He didn’t need to be a ‘good guy’ to bring home. To Wade, Logan was fine just as is. PTSD, anger issues, alcoholism, and all. It was something Logan never even thought possible. There was always SOMETHING about him people needed to change. But not for Wade. 

So when was the other shoe gonna drop? It was gonna happen, he just knew it was. That’s why he had to be far away from Wade when it did. 

He sighed as he made his way back to the apartment, bags in hand. Well, that can be something to go back to worrying after Wade gets over this mood he’s in right now. Couldn’t last that much longer, could it? Maybe he should call Vanessa. Get an idea on how short or long this thing lasted. 

Entering the apartment, he could see the lump on the pull out hadn’t moved, but Mary was laying on the mattress just slightly out of the ‘yoink-zone’. He made his way over and sat on the edge of the bed. Mary whined, and he just gave her a quick little pet before digging out a bag of chips. 

He slid it close to the pile of blankets. It was getting easier to catch it. Wade’s hand shooting out from under the pile to grab whatever there was, and back under again. Logan chuckled softly and shook his head. 

Wade was absolutely ridiculous sometimes…and he was getting used to it. 

Mary made a small sound before she settled onto his lap. Welp, looked like he was stuck there for a bit. Could be worse. He knows he shouldn’t, but to hell with it. He knows he’s gonna need to abandon ship sometime, but for now he could enjoy this for a little bit. 

He absentmindedly pet Mary, his eyes slowly trailing back over to the pile of blankets. With his other hand he slowly slid it across the mattress. He was expecting Wade to just snatch it when it was close enough-but that didn’t happen. 

Like with Vanessa, Wade reached out slowly. Placing his hand over Logan’s. Wade’s hand was cold, despite being tucked under that pile of blankets. It wasn’t bad…it actually felt kinda nice. Logan ran warm anyway. 

“Yer gonna need to let go or I’m gonna need ta stop pettin’ Mary if you need somethin’ else,” Logan said. Wade gave a soft pat to the back of his hand before giving an ‘okay’ gesture, and retreating back under the blankets. Logan laughed and looked down to Mary. “You get so damn spoiled.” 

--

Laura and Vanessa were over. Day four of Wade’s mood. Laura got a first hand experience and witnessed the ‘yoink-zone’. She actually jumped-claws shooting out and everything. 

“Just so you know, he’s not gonna shut up when he’s over this,” Vanessa warned. 

“How is that different from normal?” Logan asked. 

“You’re mean,” Vanessa teased. “I mean that he’s gonna be dumb and talk himself dry,” she explained. “He’s a bit, out of it for like a day after all this. So just keep an eye on him, alright?” 

“Been babysitting him for four days already, shouldn’t be a big deal if another gets tacked on,” Logan shrugged as he leaned back on the bed slightly. 

“You miss him talking, don’t you?” Laura smirked. 

“Dunno what yer talkin’ about,” Logan grumbled. 

“Suuuure you don’t.” 

He huffed and shifted slightly. He was about to say something else when--

“SHIT! I forgot!” Two, scar roughed hands grabbed onto his arm and pulled-HARD. He toppled back and found himself partially under the pile of blankets. It was dark, but he could mostly make out what was in front of him and well…over him. 

Wade had this almost soft, fond looking smile on his face. The same one Logan always saw him give Vanessa-but there was something just slightly different with this one. “Got too close there Peanut,” Wade’s voice was hushed. A bit raspy from not being used for a few days. 

“Yeah, figured,” Logan said softly. “Better?”

“Hmm…a bit,” Wade murmured. “Gonna talk your ear off, cause I had a lotta thoughts goin’ through my head during all this.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” the smile stayed on Wade’s face as he leaned down. 

It was obvious what was going to happen, but still Logan felt his breath hitch. The position was awkward, but not the worst kiss he had. Wade’s lips were chapped and scarred-but felt so right against his. He almost wanted to chase after them when Wade lifted his head. 

“...ready ta come out? Say hi ta Laura and Vanessa?” Logan asked.

“Yeah, ‘m pretty sure I’m good,” Wade nodded. 

Logan shifted and pulled the blankets back and off of himself as he sat up right. Wade pulled them back as well, but still remained cocooned in them. He shifted and shimmied across the mattress till he could comfortably lean against Logan. 

“Hey,” Vanessa greeted softly. 

“Hey,” Wade gave her a soft smile. 

“Missed ya,” she added. “Logan did a good job at taking care of ya.” 

“Hmmm he did…thanks Peanut, I owe ya.” 

“Nah,” Logan shrugged. “ Deal enough with my shit, the least I can do.” Yeah, sure, maybe this was a bad idea. Logan’s all too familiar with bad ideas. He knows that there’s gonna be a consequence for this sooner or later. But that can wait. 

Wade hummed as he felt Logan’s hand slide under the blankets. Feeling around, until he reached Wade’s hand. “yoink,” Wade said softly as he took Logan’s hand, threading their fingers together.

[wordy-little-witch]

Okay but One Piece being in the pirate era and the lack of a frankly inordinate amount of sea shanties hurts me. Like you know DAMN well Roger was a partier, Buggy and Shanks undoubtedly know an incredible amount of shanties, from their first crews, from the new crews, from exploring and seeing and experiencing the world so thoroughly from such a young age.

Shanks would be the type to belt them, top of his lungs, but always adhere to the Codes, though he does think on it for a moment. People think he'd be a pirate head to toe, through and through, and he is! Truly, he is. He just doesn't really live by the Code and die by the Code the way some of the older generation does.

Buggy, despite popular belief, is the one to cling to those Codes with all he has. It's subtle, in the way he hums certain songs to himself but never sings the full lyrics without Meaning. He will sing and dance and party with his crew, they will make merry but they will do so properly. He's avant garde and nouveau expressionism but he's also old fashioned.

When he finds out Shanks taught this scrawny rubber twink everything the kid knows about piracy through sporadic meetings over a year, nearing a decade ago, he is absolutely livid. The swordsman is stupid but has a decent head on his shoulders for behavior. The redhead, from what he sees, knows more than most. He decides to put class in session.

He's surprised to be beaten so thoroughly and then furthermore to be removed succinctly. He's not gonna let it slide, obviously, but he'll play along. Sure. Could be fun. He was getting bored anyway.

Shit just so happens to hit the fan with this decision and all that follow. Shanks, knowing the truth of things, is simply VERY amused and Buggy is debating fratricide.

He's been playing this role for so long, it feels unnatural to drop it. It feels wrong. It makes him panic, makes him Itch.

It only comes to a head years later as he's humming to himself late in the evening on a certain day in September, having spent a good chunk of the day on his own, away from company and to the surprise of very few. Crocodile and Mihawk are among those who do not know why, but they alone are the ones to look for him.

Finding Buggy, singing softly to an animal as he gently brushes out their fur, surrounded by calm animals who seem to nearly build a wall with their bodies between himself and the world, was not anticipated to either men. Nor was hearing Buggy's voice, usually so shrill and rasped, flow gently over a melody with a grief filled expression. Ritchie, among the ones closest, gently head butted the clown with soulful eyes. Mihawk and Crocodile simply watch, seeing Buggy groom and pamper the creatures within the stables this far from town as he sings a specific sequence of songs.

Mihawk realizes first just what they're witnessing, and he grips the logia user's arm, guiding them both back. Crocodile, startled, goes to ask, and Hawkeyes simply shakes his head sharply. It is only once they are far enough that Mihawk breaths a stunned, "He's performing Rites."

"What?"

"Rites," the swordsman reiterates, sending the other a suspicious look. "The Rites of the Code."

The mafioso takes a drag from his cigar, gesturing for the other to go on.

Mihawk sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I forget," he remarks dryly, "how uneducated in ours ways you are."

"Excuse me-?!"

"Rites," the other interrupts, "are a form of mourning. Frequency varies, and the honoring actions can be altered as well. The constant component are the shanties sung in remembrance and the flags flown. For some, a single instance can be sufficient..." Golden eyes drift to the side, unfocused, as he continues. "For others, there is a need to continue doing so. Often, it is a crew mourning a commanding officer. Unlike Marines, Pirates all share an unspoken connection. Though paths may vary and goals may differ, we all care Her in our veins."

Violet eyes love to the expanse of blue, the horizon bleeding across the world. He knew. He may lack some of the nuance of the Code from his priorities laying further inland, but he knew this. How could he not when his own blood sang salted sprays? He knew this much at the very least.

"So the clown is in mourning."

"Yes."

".... why?"

"...... ....... it is September."

"And?"

"The 28th."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You were there, too, 25 years ago. Loguetown."

Silence falls.

The wind rustles branches overhead. It carries the faintest wisps of a voice. The two men pointedly ignore it and the choked quality it had.

".... I see."

"..... yes. That is my theory, at any rate."

"............. Hawkeye."

"What?"

"He was on the King's crew."

"Yes, this has been established."

"Why?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Why him? Why the clown? He's not even 40 yet, so that day... he'd have been, what, 15, at the most? He'd have been on the crew for years by that point. He was there before the man was crowned, after all."

"Shanks was, as well. I believe the earliest mention was when he mentioned an incident from their childhood. He'd said they were... oh, what was it? Seven? Thereabouts. To be on a crew so young..."

"To be there so long, Hawkeye. The brat would have been with them since childhood. That crew was infamous for the things they did - the clown does not fit the pattern."

"He does not boast anything nearing the decorum expected of a fledgling of a King..."

"He knows the Codes, something never mentioned to us nor taught explicitly to his crew that we know of. He served under the King and kept it hidden from the world government for decades. He escaped the Grandline and settled as an East Blue nuisance for years. He was imprisoned in Impel Down with no sea stone."

Golden eyes widen. "You believe he has been hiding more than simply his heritage."

"What makes more sense? This, or what we have thought so far."

"How would we confirm it?"

"Just ask me, maybe?"

Neither man will admit to being startled when a new voice chimes in, soft and hoarse, drowsy. Buggy leans into Ritchie's side as the lion purrs loudly, the clown rubbing his eye.

He continues. "Tomorrow, though. It's late, I'm not feeling well, and Ritch and I have a date with my blanket nest."

"The lion?" / "Blanket nest?"

Buggy giggles softly. "Weighted blankets are expensive. Weighted Ritchies only cost snacks and chin scritches," he remarks softly. "As for the blankets, nests are the way to go. Good night."

Two dark haired men are left by a drowsy clown and lion in the woods on the edge of town with much to thing on and a list to compile for the next day.

The first question? How Mihawk had not sensed him whatsoever on approach.

[silverflqmes]

Hihi! I'm wondering if you're okay writing nsfw / smut (dont know the right term) for zack fair, could i request some thigh fucking headcannons'? (Applogies if my english isnt to great, thanks for reading if you see this 😊)

໒⦂ 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓.

notes. hello anon! super duper sorry for the wait, i don’t write nsfw very often and if i get requests, i tend to take a lot of time writing them ahaha.. but i hope these hcs are to your liking, i feel like they’re a little rushed., furthermore the reader is female, i hope that’s okay!

genre. nsfw

tw. thigh fucking, semi-public sex, fondling, praise / body worship, dirty talk, needy portrayal of zack if you squint, after care, mirror sex.

disclaimer. uncomfortable with smut or younger than 17? please dni.

zack fair x fem!reader.

⌗ being a first class SOLDIER as zack was, there was hardly any time for full blown sex with how unpredictable his schedule could be. missions could either be in midgar, outside of midgar, slow or constant — the schedule was totally sporadic with the lack of firsts.

⌗ usually any need for release is often met during combat since he’s blowing off steam in battle, so in those cases — sexual activity isn’t needed.

⌗ but when fighting is not used as an output, he does tend to get pent up. it would make sense for a SOLDIER to have a load of energy to burn off, and zack being as antsy as he is to get some movement in.. he’s like a whiny thing in heat at times..

⌗ and so, that’s where you would come in.

⌗ there is little time on his hands but he just needs you so badly in instances like these. other times, he is of course your sweet and adoring boyfriend. showering you in hugs and the sweetest of kisses but real talk, a guy can get horny. especially if he’s getting zero action, mission and / or sex wise.

⌗ although, you couldn’t lie and say that you didn’t want your boyfriend plunging himself in between your thighs behind closed curtains, brushing all along your clit in just the right way while he grips your hips, grinding his own into your backside.

⌗ sometimes he just can’t hold himself back from dragging you away from your work into his office or an empty space just to get some friction and skin on skin contact from you. your thighs just feel so so soft and rub against him perfectly each time. and whenever you squeeze, the tightness is all the more pleasing.

⌗ oftentimes, he’s gotta be on the clock, though.. so his pace can be a little rougher and quicker with you, but he’s always careful to hold you close, aware that his enhanced strength can sometimes be.. a bit much.

⌗ still, you’d brace your hands against the wall or desk, anyway, and watch as he appeared and reappeared between your thighs in an intoxicating rhythm that makes you forget your work even existed.

⌗ because you both have to be quiet and he gets so needy for more of you, he would turn your head to the side to capture your lips in a feverish kiss while he continues slotting himself between your legs.

⌗ at times his hands would slide from your waist underneath your shirt to feel up your chest. he’d squeeze, fondle and knead them together, pinching your hardened nipples all while he continued delivering himself between your thighs.

⌗ and when he misses you too much, he’ll want to do it while facing one another — which can be sloppier, but he wants to look at your pretty face while he’s fucking your thighs, and feel your body flush against his own.

⌗ it’s not always fast and rough though, rest assured. whenever there is more time at your disposal, and within the comfort of your home, it can also be slow and sensual. a way for you to feel every detail of him that he had to offer as he holds you close to him. certainly when he’s returned from an away mission, knowing you’d both missed each other dearly.

⌗ unfortunately, things can get messy, but even if he’s on the clock, zack always makes the time to clean you up and help get the both of you back in order. he can’t just go sending you off, he’s a gentleman!

⌗ our resident puppy can be vocal a lot, especially if he hasn’t gotten the chance to be intimate like this with you for a bit.. so expect a load of praise and worshipping out of him, cuz he’s got lots to say.. but also some whining of his own- so praise him too.

⌗ “f-fuck, you feel so good against me, baby.. wish i could just have you like this all day, can hardly even wait until later..”

⌗ “mm, squeeze me just like that, yeah. you’re doing so well, y/n.. can’t contain myself any longer, i gotta have you tonight again too to hold me over at t-this rate..”

⌗ ooh and he loves doing it in front of a mirror. to witness every expression you make, and see your reactions just makes the experience all the more delectable.

notes. sorry if this was shorter than anticipated, i hope it’s somewhat decent?? i tried to come up with different things to pair with the thigh fucking since it’s.. a little dull on its own😭 anyway, hope you enjoyed! tysm for the request and for your patience<3

↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask

[shiongenkai]

Taiga, Romeo, and Gluttony

NOTE: This post contains spoilers for the entirety of the recently released Auction chapter. Read at your own risk.

So the recent chapter was everything to me. It was the shortest, but in my opinion it showed us a lot about Taiga and Romeo and their relationship to one another, and it also helped me refine a specific thought I had about Taiga and his whole deal he has going on.

To put it shortly; I think Taiga has a gluttony curse, and I think it functions as a mirror to that of Romeo's stigma, and is part of why they had a falling out, and why they can't seem to get away from each other.

To put it horrifically, horribly long....

So what do I mean when I say Taiga is cursed? Well, exactly that. I believe he's cursed in a similar way Rui or the MC are; he has an insatiable need to eat anomalies. I believe that this grants certain side effects like the MC and Rui's curse, and that one of them is a sixth sense for anomalies and anomalous circumstances.

I want to explain this before the Romeo part, because it's the basis for my analysis and thoughts on the two of them.

To start from the very beginning; I think Taiga, during one of his missions, was cursed by something like a jikininki as punishment for his 'gluttony' — the rapid rate at which he completed missions in his first year. This left him with his insatiable need to eat anomalies, but more specifically, is the reason he doesn't seem to want to eat them.

While I'm not certain the anomaly is for certain a jikininki, especially because there's certainly other similar folk legends out there, I chose that one specifically because they are noted for their sharp teeth and for not liking the insatiable need to eat corpses.

Now, what does this mean for Taiga? I think he's stuck between being a ghoul and being a jikininki, or whatever anomaly it ends up being, and I think this has given him a sixth sense that messes with his perception of time, self, and memory. But why would it do that?

Jikininki are immortal creatures, and wish to be freed from the torment they're in for the most part. If one was cursed to be part Jikininki, it would make sense for their existence to be similarly excruciating, with a difference being a lack of full immortality.

Remember the Mortkranken chapter, with the failed mermaid flesh? How their bodies continued even as their minds didn't? Taiga has multiple lines detailing how his 'body' remembers, even if his mind doesn't. Yuri and Jiro also explain that part of the side effects of the reaction are rapid mental deterioration. If Taiga had gone through a similar deterioration, it would explain his seemingly sporadic memory loss (not total blackouts like Jiro, nor specific category based amnesia either, just like. Random shit) and the fact that he doesn't have a concrete sense of identity (showcased through his constantly shifting first-person pronoun choice in Japanese). His cells of his body are reverting to their pre-aged self, and his mind is attempting to do that too, but it's imperfect and messy.

The key to the idea of the sixth sense comes from the fact that he's specifically cursed for anomalous gluttony. I think that he can sense anomalous material or anomalies themselves, and as demonstrated from Ed, this includes some sort of future sense. While we don't know the full specifics of what a sixth sense grants, we can see him utilise it in multiple different places. It's also, in my opinion, why he was sent on the Prologue mission.

Some examples of his supposed sixth sense are how he intuitively understood the anomalous dealer's entire thing, the scenes where he knows the Like Dove will appear before it does, when he senses Romeo approaching (Romeo is carrying an anomaly: his artifact), how he understands the auction is an anomaly, when he gets the mask under unknown circumstances, when he directly knows there's no anomalies... the list honestly could go on forever.

There's one other fact that I personally believe sealed this theory for me; his association with Haku.

In the recent chapter, when the MC is thinking about who to talk to about curses, Taiga instantly knows who we're thinking of, and rejects it on the basis that '[He] can't get rid of curses unless the anomaly that did the deed's right in front of him.' and that he's a 'Simp for the rules anyway.'

... Which is interesting, since it seems like Taiga has tried to ask him about this before. But if you think of this as Haku's stigma, and imagine Taiga trying to get his curse cleansed before, it makes sense! It would also be a good reason to put Haku and Taiga together in the prologue; Taiga can track the anomaly with his sense, and Haku can cleanse whatever curse it gives so long as Taiga manages to capture it or subdue it for long enough.

(Which, side note, is so tragic for the MC...)

Okay, now that the basis of 'Taiga is cursed' is out of the way, how on earth does this relate to Romeo?

Simple. I think Taiga's curse directly mirror's Romeo's stigma, and it's what caused their rift.

Romeo's stigma, as we learn in the new chapter as well, is dependent on his attachment to the items he throws. This, thematically, works with Romeo, who is known to be greedy. Everything he does is motivated by a profit of some kind, whether that profit is social or monetary or whatever. He wants special privileges so he does special missions. He wants money so he raises fees and coerces people to gamble. He wants popularity so he dresses nicely and pampers himself. It doesn't always mean he is money grubbing and stingy (because we see he's willing to spend lavishly on grooming and decor!) but it means that he's attached to what he has. His stigma requires him to give up that attachment. It is a punishment, a sacrifice, as a result of the pact. Similar to how Luca lost his brother (and gained a protective stigma), Romeo has to lose what he feels is worth something in order to fully utilise his ability. Call it a sort of pride.

I think, on the other hand, Taiga's curse is one of envy. He has a desire to eat anomalies, yes, but the desire becomes stronger the more attached someone else is to the anomaly. He doesn't need any interest in it, really. If someone else likes it he will need to eat it.

Taiga covets Haru's Peekaboo to eat instead of the wild one that we also know is in Jabberwock. He's composed about the Like Dove (barely, but he restrains himself!) until Romeo wants it. He steals the plants from Rui's BAR, not the ones in the garden outside (both are Rui's, but his bar is arguably the more loved thing of his since it was fully his choice). He covets Mortkranken's anomalies, and becomes mildly obsessed with the immortal one as soon as it becomes a major research subject. He's also completely fine holding and handling the mask, presumably for a long time, up until Romeo sees it as valuable and worthy.

Now, this doesn't necessarily make them instantly incompatible. But when you take one of Romeo's core traits being 'Greed towards anomalies' (He wants to collect them and frequently complains that other houses are 'stealing' them from under him; he sells them; he gets missions from Hyde to get them; etc), it becomes evidently clear that Taiga's curse is directly oppositional to it.

I think it's pretty obvious by now that Taiga and Romeo have a pretty turbulent relationship now, but were extremely close in the past. Multiple characters state that it would be nice to see them on good terms again, and it's certainly worth mentioning that Romeo is one of the few people Taiga consistently remembers. They both know each other exceptionally well, too. Taiga knows how to get under Romeo's skin and Romeo knows Taiga's habits.

Going back to the idea of this curse causing their rift, if Romeo was constantly on the verge of an important capture, or even if there was just one mission that was important, and Taiga ruined it by eating the anomaly, I doubt Romeo would easily forgive and forget. I think it could very easily cause a massive rift that just kept growing with each new snack Taiga picked up.

I think a moment that gets its nuance overlooked a lot is the scene just before Taiga eats the dove. The Japanese line emphasises that Taiga is referring to HIS heart, that Romeo could shoot through HIS heart, not just a general appraisal of sharpshooting. He even points directly to his heart as he says this, and it makes Romeo hesitate. They're BOTH in pain in this scene. They're both conflicted; this is their ex-partner (which I don't mean in the romantic sense, just in the general sense) who they were very, very close with, and who is now literally at arms length with a loaded gun. Romeo could just shoot him. Romeo could put an end to all of this supposed pain. And Taiga might even let him. And wouldn't that be karma for all he's done? But he can't. He hesitates.

And you know what appears after that? The dove.

This dove that symbolises both general desire (flies over peoples' heads when they're thought about) and Romeo's desire. His desire to escape probation. His desire to make money. His desire to capture, not kill. His desire to reconcile instead of fight. His desire to shoot.

And Taiga kills it. Eats it.

I think this is the most tragic scene between the two of them. This is the crux of it; they both want to reconcile. They want to be friends, to be close, to stop the war raging between the two of them that has done nothing but hurt them both AND hurt the wellbeing of Sinostra, but they can't, because Romeo will ALWAYS desire, and Taiga will ALWAYS take that from him.

It's a cycle they can't escape. The auction chapter shows it too. Taiga is almost disappointed at Romeo's greed. He seems jaded by it, and seems proud and happy when Romeo gives it up for once. Romeo is happy too; MC goes out of her way to say that Taiga handing him the mask makes him look more peaceful than he ever has before. It is quite literally a perfect ending for the two of them and a perfect way to reconcile.

And then Taiga eats it! Again! But I think the most horrifying part of it is that he tries to warn Romeo.

The comic doesn't translate or even transcribe it, so it's so, so easy to miss, especially if you don't speak Japanese, but Taiga grunts out the words 'I', 'Eat', and 'Next' as he approaches Romeo and the mask, and it's the direct reason why Romeo is able to realise that Taiga is about to eat it before it actually happens. He basically just grunts out 'I'm gonna eat that next' as he's fighting against it! But inevitably, neither of them can stop it. The cycle continues.

As long as Romeo is greedy, and as long as Taiga is gluttonous, they will never be able to fully reconcile, no matter how much they both want it. Both of them have to change, but I want to point out that at this moment Romeo is the bigger active obstacle between the two of them. Romeo can't let things go, he holds onto everything and lets it build until it explodes in one way or another. Tiris, his stigma, is symbolic in that sense, that he has to learn to let things go, because if he lets it build too much it will explode spectacularly.

(All of the ghouls have this sort of symbolism with their stigma, so it's not just a Romeo thing, but it's definitely important to his character.)

But Romeo can't get over it yet. He can't get over his greed, he can't let go of things he can't achieve (like getting Kaito's necklace), he can't get over past betrayals (Taiga, what happened with his family, etc)... He's too stuck and stubborn, and his refusal to budge has therefore lead to Taiga's refusal to push. Taiga has stopped caring about getting on good terms because he knows it won't turn out well. He's given up and become cynical, which in turn means that IF Romeo were to change, Taiga... still probably wouldn't. They're cyclical again. Always, always missing each other. So close and yet so far.

I hope the MC can be the catalyst for this cycle to end. Or Ritsu, who is a good equalizer to the two of them. But until she learns to see her own worth in the Academy, and until Ritsu accepts that sometimes he's wrong / he doesn't always know the most out of everyone in the room, I'm afraid Romeo and Taiga will remain stuck in this loop forever...

[unamused-boss]

Say What?

Billy Hargrove x Fem Reader

18+ Smut. semi-public sex Summary: Date night went exactly how it should be. A night of passion and love after the events of Starcourt back in the summer. Now that spring is here new things are happening. Until Eddie Munson is being wanted for murder and everyone shows up at your house to get some more help. But Eddie Munson being wanted for murder won't be the only surprise.

This date night was everything you could have ever wished for from Billy. A drive in movie to a lot, a romantic dinner at a nice restaurant. Billy made every stop. He got you flowers, held the door open for you, cuddled you at the movie; ever since the incident at the mall he has become a more thought out person. He was already thinking about you everyday, but now he thinks about his effect on others. Especially with the others from when Starcourt happened.

However for now he wants to keep you to himself. Your relationship has been secret since the beginning of last year. Billy is utterly obsessed with you. He wants to be around every second of the day, holding you, kissing you, touching you in any way possible.

"Ah~ah~AH!" Which is what he is doing right now. Your ass straight in the air. His rough hands holding your waist helping with slamming his cock right into your pussy. Your moans not stopping only getting louder and louder with every thrust he sends into you. At this very moment your are so happy your parents are out of town for spring break.

"You like that baby~" Billy sighed. "You want some more, princess." The use of the pet name made you clench around his cock. You felt him lean down to your back, not stopping his motion in the slightest. His breath fanned the nape of your neck his lips connected to your hot skin. Leaving a trail of kisses all along it. His hands moved from your hips and to your breasts. Cupping them, squeezing them, playing with them it felt like static all throughout your body. The overflowing sense of pleasure filled you. God it made you even more wet. His thrusts began to feel more sporadic. "Come on babe, I know you can take all of me."

"Ah~ ah~..." Your moans and whimpers continued. With one deep thrust you felt Billy go balls deep into your pussy. "Holy shit~!" You two were left panting. You fell to your bed, Billy continued to hold himself up with his arms. You felt his cock slowly the heat never leaving your body.

"You wanna go another round." Billy grinned.

"Yes!" You flipped over to face him on top of you. You pull him down to capture him in a lustful kiss. His hands groping every inch of you. Legs entangled and arm wrapped around each other. Nothing but pure adoration for one another. "Can I ride you?" You asked breathlessly.

"Hell yeah!" You were flipped over laying on his stomach at the moment. You giggled leaning down to him to capture one more kiss. Your hips rose over his hard cock, pulsing just waiting for you. You bring your hips down, with the help of the slick from before it was a little easier to get his dick in you. You moaned at the sensation. Your hips started to grind into him, his hand forcing your hips further down onto his cock. To was all to blissful.

Till your landline started to go off on your bed side table. You both just starred at each other. Not knowing what to do.

"Answer it." Billy said.

"What?" You chirped. "Why?"

"Cause I wanna see you hold yourself together while I'm fucking you." God that made you even more wet.

"What if I moan into the phone?" You panicked to your boyfriend.

"Then I guess you better stay quiet, sweetheart." Billy said, lowering his voice in just the way you love it.

"Fine." You huffed leaning your body over to grab the phone. Every muscle tensing with pleasure as you moved. The receiver was in your hand. "Hello?" You answered, Billy's hand moving from your hip to your clit. Rubbing it causing more friction between you two.

"Hey! (Y/N)!" Fuck it's Robin.

"Hey Robin, what do you need?" You asked. Billy started to move his hips into a forward motion. Fucking right into you. You felt like you were bitting through your lip to keep any noise from coming out of your mouth.

"So how ya doing?" Robin asked, there was something behind this phone call. But you were focused on other things.

"I'm doing good." You steadily said. "What's with the-" You were interrupted by a rough thrust from Billy's hips. You inhaled in, "What's with the late night call girl?"

"Oh I just wanted to chat for a minute." Yep there was definitely something going on behind the call. Another rough thrust was pushed into you. His constant grinding made you want to drool at the delicious sensation happening in your vagina.

"Ah-hem, can this wait till later Robin?" You asked desperately. Your bodies were heated, sweat was dripping from every curve, the constant motion made you mad.

"No! I mean, no it can't- wait what?" You heard faint voices in the back ground of the call. Billy flipped you over.

"Ah!" You squeaked out at his action. You now lay beneath him as he thrusts into you. "Mmhm~" You moaned into your pressed lips. His head dips into your neck leaving lustful kisses all it.

"Are you okay?" Robin asked.

"Yep! just fine, just stubbed my toe."

Billy leaned up into your ear, "That's all baby~" he whispered into you ear, kissing the shell of your ear.

"Oh okay." Robin said. "Well I was wondering if-" You didn't hear the rest that she had to say. Billy's thrusts quickened even more. Pounding into with every ounce a strength he has. All you focus was on keeping quiet. The sound of your skin slapping against the others was riveting. Their bodies yearned of one another. Light touches soon turned into clawing down Billy's back. His thrusts hitting every part of your body never stopping. You wonder if he is even tired at this point, his stamina did not falter. Your skins was flushed to the point that you as if you were burnt. Burnt with the pleasure of a man that could satisfy you. Your free hand was tugging at the curls of his hair. His thrusts become untamed. The sensation over powered you.

"So does that work for you?" Robin's long ramble finally concluded.

"Yeah, totally works. I gotta go now Robs bye~" You desperately spoke into the phone. Slamming the phone back down where it should'v been the whole night. Hung up. "Ah~Ah~Ahh~".

"That's it baby, come undone for me." He said hungrily. His movements become even faster. Unrhythmic patterns flow through your body. Your moan finally become unleashed. Every possible noice comes out of you with pleasure. "You ready Baby~".

"Yees~" Billy kept his hips in motion. Pounding into you, however that speed started to slow done. You knew you both were close to being undone. He gives one last thrust right into you. Electricity runs through your veins. You swear your neighbors could hear you from the noises that you were making. Billy takes his time taking himself out of your pussy. He laid himself next to you. You both now lay in bed breathless from your actions.

"That was amazing..." Billy huffed.

"Yeah~" You breathlessly spoke.

Last night was the most riveting night ever. You don’t remember much from your night of fornication with Billy. You do remember Billy helping you to the bathroom through out the night. The sun was coming through the curtains in your room. You felt the warm skin go across your skin. You stretched your arm out to fin Billy. Your hand found the small of his back, you rub your hand up his back. You leaned up onto his back, kissing all along his neck.

"Hey handsome~" You kissed Into his skin.

He flipped over, taking you into his arms. " Hello~" he brings you closer than you already are. You look over to the clock on your bedside to see it read 10:57 am.

“Damn, we were out for a while.” You joked, cuddling yourself back into Billy.

"That just means we gotta make up for lost time." Billy dipped his head into your neck, kissing all over your jaw. You giggle that the ticklish sensation from some of his stubble rubbing against your cheek. You try to move back, away from Billy, but Billy following you. Now on top of you, smushing you under his weight, holding you in place, peppering kisses all over you. This morning could not get any better.

The ring of your door bell rang through the house. You and Billy both stop what you are doing. 'who the hell is here?'

"Where you expecting someone?" Billy asked.

"No I don't think so?" You answered. "I don't know how- Shit it's Robin!" You quickly get up frantically looking for clothes to wear. While putting one the first thing you saw.

"Where are you going?" Billy asked.

"To see what they want so they can go away." You said. "Then we can go back to where we were." Kissing his cheek then sprinting out your bedroom. You make your way down stairs to the front door.

"Seriously what is taking her is long?" The muffled voice of Steve Harrington can be heard. You open the door not only to be met with Steve and Robin; but also Max, Dustin, and Nancy. 'What the hell did you agree to last night?'

"Hey guys, whatcha doin here?" You nervously asked.

"You know why." Steve said, acting like you knew what was going on. "Now let us in." Before you could protest anymore everyone made their way into your home. Billy can hear everyone from your room. Everyone was talking all at once, you didn't know were one thing ended and were it began.

"Everyone shut up!" You yelled. "What is going on?"

“Munson is wanted.” Steve put blankly.

“Munson? Like Eddie Munson?” You questioned.

“Yep, that’s the one.” Steve stated again. Everyone took a brief minute to explain the whole situation to you. Chrissy’s death, the upside down, a wizard named Vecna, and how this possibly brings Max into the mix.

“So what did you need my help for?” You were still confused. What was the importance of being brought into this.

“Well you’re the reason Billy is alive maybe you can help.” Nancy reasoned. She had a point, you did save Billy. You were able to find a way to break through the mind flayer’s control. You guess they do have a reason to come for your help, you've been in this supernatural problem for long but these guys have been your friends for a longer time.

“Of course, I’ll help you guys.” You smiled. “You guys can come back tomorrow, I’m kinda preoccupied.”

Everyone was silent not knowing what to say next till. “Is that Billy’s shirt?” A confused Max asked.

“What?” You said, completely put back by what she said. You look down to, indeed, see that you did put on Billy’s shirt. 'shit'.

"Uh- N-no, it's not."

"Why did you stutter?" Max questioned.

"It just surprised me that's all." You replied, hoping that would stop her from asking any more questions.

"Any ways, we need to see all the files you stole from the lab about the upside down." Dustin cut in.

"I didn't steal those files Dustin." You said back to him.

"Ah yes because it's normal for someone to steal super secret science files from their dad's place of work. Don't worry I do the same." Steve sassed at me.

"You literally said last night on the phone you would let us do this." Robin rebutted.

"I did?" You said. Everyone shook their head in agreement. "Well my room is a mess, you won't find them."

"Oh please, you're like the cleanest person we know. What is there a sock on the floor you didn't pick up." Robin joked.

"We're going in your room." Steve sassed, He made his way up the stair to your room, everyone else following him along.

"Wait do not go up to my room!" You yelled, hopefully giving Billy enough time to hide. Which he was able to do, hiding in your closet. However he was not able to hide the discarded clothes on the floor from the night before. Everyone else quickly made it into your room. As you made it up there you quickly noticed no sign of Billy, which was a relief to you.

"Ah- let me get those files for you." You quickly made your way to were the files were held. Clearly stepping over the clothes that you choose to give no attention to.

"Why are there men's clothes on your floor?" Max asked.

"Um they're my cousin's." You frantically respond.

"Your cousin's?" Nancy asked peculiarly. You nodding in agreement to her words.

"Yep."

"You don't have cousin's." Nancy said.

"How do you know? You never asked." You rebutted back. "The files aren''t in the place I put them." You try to change the topic to something different.

"(Y/N) really, those are Billy's pants." Max said, pointing to the clothes on the floor.

"No they are not Max." You said, making your way to the closet door to look for the files. "I can assure you that those clothes aren't Billy's." Your statement was said. However you rip open the closet door. Only to be met with a butt naked Billy Hargrove. You both look at each other wide eyed. Everyone's eyes were wide, their jaws were on the floor, and they were all dumb founded. The fact the Billy was in your closet naked was the second to last thing they were expecting out of this day.

"Oh my fuck." You swore.

"Explain. right now." Steve said.

Which you did, after getting Billy his pants. You explained that you and Billy were dating from the start of summer back in 85. You both cared for each other a lot. How he asked you out. How you both wanted this relationship to be kept secret. Thinking your friends, on both sides, would not like your relationship. But you both love each other very much, and no one's opinions was going to change that.

"That's basically it." You finished.

"Aww, that's so sweet." Robin cooed.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Steve questioned.

"Um did you not just hear the whole story Harrington?" Billy retorted to him.

"Be nice." You sassed at him. "We wanted to tell we really did, especially after what happened at the Mall. But every time we would over think it." Billy wrapped his arm around your shoulder, kissing your temple. Everyone sat in silence from the words you had said.

"It's okay." Max reassured... "But why him."

"Max." Dustin grumbled out.

"It's an honest question." Max stated.

"She does have a point." Steve said. You just laughed at your friends. Happy that they didn't blow up on you like you thought they would.

"So what's this about Munson being wanted for murder?" Billy questioned.

"It's a long story." You sighed, kissing his cheek.

"Ew don't do that." Max complained. You laughed at Max, while Billy just grumbled at the red head.

"You guys change then we, can figure out how to help Eddie." Nancy stated. Everyone agreed leaving you and Billy to change. Until Robin came back into the room.

"Ha, quick question." She spouted. "So by any chance, were you guys- um- doing anything when I called?" The lesbian nervously asked. You and Billy just looked at each other.

"No, Robs we weren't." You smiled at her. Saving her from what would have been a life altering moment.

"Great. I don't believe. But I gonna go with it." She said before running out of the room. Now you and Billy are alone.

"Well that was fun, sweets." Billy smirked.

"It sure was." You smiled. "Well I guess the thrill is go now."

"Maybe, but at least I got you." Billy said. Bringing your lips to his sealing them in a kiss.

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS!

I do not know if this is good or not. I was kinda making it up as I go. Feed back would be great.

[sunnysidestories]

Introductions Pt 2

Pt 1

Pt 3

Summary: Reader is a vigilante on young justice who goes to the same school as Walls. Only Wally doesn't know the readers identity, but she knows his. SLOW BURN

Wally West x Fem!Reader

"Hi, I'm Wally West. It's nice to meet you."

As his voice rang in my ears, and he seemed to look back at his book, my heart would begin to race. I sat there for a moment too long, so I quickly would pick up my own voice, even if it cracked. "I'm y/n l/n. It's nice to meet you too." He doesn't know. He can't know.

Wally would once again look back up from the textbook, his eyes seeming to scan along my face. "You're not new. I know you." shit. "Well, I just changed classes, not schools. I've been at Keystone my whole life. I'm just not the most popular person."

"Oh cool, I hope you like the advanced course. If you ever need any help I'll gladly give you my number. Science is one of the only things I seem to be good at." he genuinely doesn't know? I'm glad, at least this is my chance. Let's find out who Kid Flash is under all the spandex.

He's a nerd. He's a total nerd.

Often, before class, I would find myself in a conversation about the latest scientific fact, most of them being obscure. He seemed to always speak with his hands, a grin never leaving his face. I found out his uncle is a forensic chemist, which helps explain his passion for all things scientific. Even if he didn't outwardly say it, I could tell he meant a lot to him. But when the class would eventually begin, Wally would totally shut off the conversation, rarely continuing it over a note. He took the class very seriously.

He's not exactly how I would have expected him to be. Compared to how he is as Kid Flash, he's much more sporadic. He seems to always lead a conversation, which I don't always mind, but when he asked me about what I liked one time, he didn't interrupt. He let me rant for a while before I realized what I was doing, though he only encouraged me to go on with a smile.

...

"So that's why I've got to go to Central City for the week." Wally lied about some other excuse for a mission. It felt wrong knowing he's really going to fight crime. I have no room to talk, really. I'll be busy at Keystone myself. I wonder how much of it is actually a lie and how much is really fact.

"It's fine, I understand it's not your fault, but i'll miss you." Wally seemed to avoid eye contact almost if my comment had made him uncomfortable. I was telling the truth though, I would miss him. Even more than I would like to admit. I didn't pressure him about it further as the class went on.

But when it was time for us to take notes from the textbook, and the whole class was sent on their own, Wally would slide me a folded piece of notebook paper. He didn't even look at me, so if any outside eyes had seen the exchange, it would look as if he was returning something of mine. I would quietly open the slip to be greeted by Wally's hastily written writing.

Hey, text me the work I'll miss next week

My eyes scanned the page only to land on his number at the bottom. He could just get it from the teacher, but the fact he trusted me enough with his perfect grade was flattering. Wally's handwriting is another one of those things I didn't think would differ from note to note. Ones he had the time to write at home are always much neater, though his handwriting is much bigger than normal standards would accept, I don't mind. The notes he writes me at school are always messy, almost like he's trying to write faster than he can but doesn't want to use his speed, so in the end, it's just much slopper. If one didn't know Wally, they could rightfully assume the contrast between his writing could be the work of two different people.

Sure, but is it just for the notes right?

I would put in my own words under his before slipping it back to him. He would immediately slide it back into my hands. I didn't even think he wrote anything until I opened it again. This time, his handwriting was perfectly placed, almost as if it was typed.

Yes.

I tuck the paper in my jacket pocket, I'll put it in my drawer with the rest when I get home. I feel bad about throwing them away, so they sit in my bedside table, its not like anyone would ever go into my room and find them anyway. Sometimes, I like to read over them before I go on patrol. It reminds me of our conversation at the warehouse. One where I'm not as alone as I think I am.

Yet the nervous tapping of Wally's pencil brings me back to the class. He taps it ten times before flipping the pencil back over, continuing to write. No matter what, he seemed to always tap it ten times. In a way, it felt like he knew I zoned off. It was him bringing me back to everything. Even if it wasn't intentional. Wally fidgets a lot when he tries to focus or distract himself, the repetitive movements being a form of comfort.

...

It's Tuesday now, and I'm perched on top of a building in full gear. My phone sits in my hand with Wally's contact staring back at me. I need to text him the work from yesterday. I haven't even said hello yet. Hello is too formal, we are friends, a hey would fit better.

These past two days have been abnormally quiet. His empty seat in class is only a reminder of why he's really gone. I hope he's okay.

FLEETFEET

Hey, it's y/n. Here's the work from yesterday and today. Hope everything is okay in CC

2 attachments  sent 11:20 pm

I would sit there for a bit, looking at the screen. Maybe he's already on some sort of mission. Why is texting so stressful? As soon as I started to shut off my phone, it would light back up with his reply.

FLEETFEET

2 attachments seen 11:27 pm

Hey y/n! Central City has

been pretty cool, my Uncle Barry

showed me around his work at Star Labs today. That place is surprisingly

really huge. Thanks for sending

the work.

Seen 11:27 pm

Sooooo wyd?

Seen 11:28 pm

Its almost midnight, he should really go to sleep. I should really start patrol. This really isn't a good idea.

Nothing much hbu? just watching

traffic go by. I swear I've seen three

crashes in the span of two

hours ppl r wild.

Seen 11:31 pm

Dude you should see it here.

Traffic is actually so slow it

makes me want

to scream. We sat at a

red light for 4 whole mins.

Seen 11:31 pm

Oh. My. God. 4 whole mins?!1!

How can they do that to you!

Don't they know who you are!!!

Seen 11:33 pm

The hottest guy alive thats who.

Seen 11:34

I couldn't help but laugh at his statement. Typing back a quick 'pls lol' before turning off my phone. It was getting too late I needed to start. I wish he was here, sometimes I could get a glance of the yellow and red highlight speeding by back home, on this road, about this time. He never worked late at night. That was more left up for the other heros, ones like me. I look to the streets, the dim lights from the lamps only shone back with a faint glow. No streak of color to be seen, but a part of me hoped it would still apear.

My night was full of stopping petty crimes, luckily I didn't have to go against any metahumans, but still like any other night everything would start to hurt after a certain threshold. Inbeetween threats I would find myself checking to see if Wally had kept our conversation going.

He did.

Until 4 am.

He was asking me mostly about myself, which was weird in a way. But in another, it made sense. The questions were more deep then anything since he already had asked the basic getting to know each other questions months ago. In the end, though, he stopped the conversation telling me to head to sleep, as I had school in the morning. Which was true. Even after patrol, I was still texting him from the comfort of my home, but I would eventually listen, heading to get some rest.

The week would continue the same as the night before. I was sending Wally the work and him dragging on our conversation throughout the night, but never long enough for the sun to rise the next day. On Saturday was when one of his messages caught me by surprise.

FLEETFEET

Are you free to call?

Seen 1:12 am

Before I could even protest how that could be a bad idea or how that might reveal who I was, his contact was flashing onto my screen along with his picture. I place the phone to my ear and answer it. I hoped the interstate couldn't be audible up from here.

"I told you shes not going to- hey! Hey..."

Wally's voice picks up on the other line, he seems to be in some sort of living room, as the hum of a television can be heard in the background as well as someone else having a conversation.

"Hey Walls? What's up?" My voice sounded strained from not speaking for hours, I hoped Wally couldn't tell. "Oh, um, I was just wondering about some of the work you sent me. Like you took the photos of the work perfectly okay, but in the background, I saw something." At the word something, his voice would slightly jump.

Did I leave my equipment in a photo? was my reflection shown? Was it something he wasn't supposed to see?

"Yeah It's-It's going to sound really stupid. What... what were those papers spread out on your bed?" Oh. Ohhhhh no. The notes, I left out his notes on my bed. I must have got some of them into the frame. I quickly opened out a chat to the last photo. There they were. Luckily, they were not in focus, so he couldn't really tell what they said, but still. There they were.

His voice would start up again after my second of silence. "Are they really swamping you with that much work?" "Yeah, yeah. My other class, a big final its uh its is coming up, so I was studying the notes." I let out a sigh of relief. "But that's not your handwriting? It actually kind of looks like-"

"Wally, I have to go. I'll see you Monday at school."

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

That was terrible. He would never let me live that down if I told him I was keeping such things. That even more was embarrassing, I have to explain why I had to go. And I have until Monday for these excuses. Which is technically tomorrow. Fun.

...

I was saved. I got called into a mission before school at Mt. Justice. Even though Wally would be there, y/n technically wouldn't. When I arrived, he was already in costume talking to Megan about something. He still did the thing with his hands while he spoke. Making his statements larger than life and thoroughly exaggerated. "I just don't know what to do. I trust her more than anything, I wish she would just tell me. It's not like im going to judge her. She knows that. I mean, you heard the conversation. "

His back was turned to me, so I couldn't see his face while he went on. Although I knew what he was talking about. "Hey Megan. Hey Wally." I waved at the two while I walked past them to the kitchen. "H/n! You're a girl. I need advice. What do I do when my friend is keeping stuff from me." I would stop and slowly turn around to his pleading gaze. "Walls, aren't you keeping stuff from her? You have to trust her in that sort of regard. Give her time to open up."

"Thats...Fair." Wally would drop himself back to normal as my words got through to him. "Besides, it took me a while to realize I trusted you." Both in and out of costume. I do. I trust him more than anything. More than anyone.

So I should have told him. He said he wasn't going to judge me, and I know he wouldn't have. I let my emotions get the better of me at the moment, If he asks again, I'll tell him the truth. No matter what.

...

The mission went by with a breeze, the biggest threat being now as Robin sent Wally falling towards me at full speed. I ended up catching the both of us before he could send us tumbling over a building. I held us there for a while, my arms wrapped around him in a hug. He just looked at me. His heightened breathing trailed my neck as he grasped onto my arms. He didn't admit it, but he was scared, I was too. Fifteen stories were a lot to fall from.

The other heroes, as well as criminals, paid us no attention, too occupied in their own fights, as I held Wally at the edge of the roof. One of my feet hanging halfway off. I was closer to falling than he was. My back was to the city.

"Hey, h/n." Was all he said as his face began to knowticablely regain too much color. "Hey West." Wally would move his head to rest in the crook of my neck as he tried to calm his rapid breathing. He told me late at night over text one time he was scared of heights.

As I started to try to move us back away from the edge, Wally would only plant himself in my hold even more. I needed to help him snap back into the situation. Before he messed up and tipped us over.

"Wally. You've never asked me who I am before." Trust. He needs to trust me. "Be...Bec..Cause! You're not comfortable... ye-yet."  Inbeetween words, he would let out large audible gasping. "You won't judge me, right?" He shook his head side to side, keeping his eyes remained shut. I would let out a sigh of my own.

"I trust you. Kid Flash, I need you to trust me. Not only as h/n but as y/n. y/n l/n. The one who's going to get you off this roof. Back to the ground floor."

[chirpsythismorning]

WSQK Update

The Twitter account for WSQK Radio has reached 100(ish) songs! And while it's currently unknown whether or not this account is in any shape or form associated with Stranger Things, I still want to give a breakdown about it as well as some reasons why this account intrigues me so much, because there are actually quite a few.

For some context about when and how this started, it might be helpful to know that the first (un)official leak regarding the existence of the WSQK filming location occurred on January 18th, the day prior to WSQK making their first post.

That same Friday when WSQK made their first post, fans also got official 'Week 2' BTS from Ross, which more openly acknowledged the existence of the radio station location in comparison to his previous posts for s5.

What then followed was a rocky start in terms of this Twitter account’s approach at making posts. Initially, they only made posts consisting of lyrics, followed by another post with a short clip of the song those previous lyrics came from.

After less than a week of the account being sporadically active, they became very consistent and continued their roll-out of lyrics + video, and then adding in + dialogue, every single day. There are a few outliers, with them not making a post on March 14th and March 20th, but the first time they had a big break in between posts was from March 22nd-March 24th, notably with their March 21st's post being related to Will's birthday:

After the March 21st post, and with their return on the 25th, they officially switched it up from posting every day, to every other day, and more recently with a consistency of every 2-3ish days.

But still, over 5 months later (roughly 156 days), they remain active.

When it comes to the type of posts this account interacts with, they stick to strictly liking and sometimes retweeting/replying vaguely to posts regarding the WSQK location, along with liking the posts of anyone that replies to their posts.

After some time though, I noticed they began posting songs that they already posted before, just with different lyrics and lines from the show along with them. This actually makes sense given that they are acting as a radio station, where songs are known for playing and replaying numerous times.

Which brings me to the most interesting aspect about WSQK, which is that while a good chunk of the songs posted have featured on the show at some point, there are also a decent amount that have not.

Here is a playlist of the songs for reference:

Here are some songs specifically that pique my interest. Some I will elaborate on, while others I might just share and let you figure out for yourself why I think they're worth mentioning.

This song was originally the third song they posted, though it was removed about a week later. Hard to tell why exactly they removed it. Maybe since it was still early on. they mixed something up and decided to get rid of it? Regardless, lyrically there could be some significance to this song choice.

Since we've obviously heard Kate featured on the show already, I don't think it would be too hard for a fan to include this. Though, it being added this early on is an interesting choice to me. Lyrically a song like many on this playlist that I think have a specific meaning which could fit quite well with a potential storyline in s5. It is also one of quite a few songs that have been posted at least twice.

While this song did feature in s3 and s4, this song is one of many that are unlisted for the show. It doesn't feature on any official soundtrack or playlist and so you'd have to already know it to recognize it or go out of your way to search it for yourself. And the meaning is also ummmm... yeah.

I actually got barely any results when looking into this song and its lyrics. Though I did discover that it is most known for featuring in an episode of Miami Vice in 1986.

I could only share 10 songs here, so if you want to look at more or even all of them, I highly recommend taking a look, even if it's only out of mere curiosity. I do plan on going through and confirming all the songs one by one again because I probably mixed up or missed one or two (or more). Scrolling down a Twitter account until their first tweet is not exactly fun, but this should be accurate for the most part!

Something else I want to mention is that @erikiara80, who also keeps an eye on the account, noticed a while ago that they have always followed 11 people, some fans and some connected to the show. There was one time they unfollowed some accounts and then instantly followed some others, keeping them at 11 follows, which means the number could be an intentional choice.

A while ago, it hit me that, if this is a hypothetical radio station, wouldn't they also take requests? So Erika helped me with that by requesting two for them to post, getting this reply:

And they did in fact eventually post those two songs requested... I'll let you guess which ones :)

Basically, I felt the need to bring this whole ordeal back to the conversation now, not because I am convinced that it is run by someone connected to the show, but because the eeriness around it persists.

Keeping something going on this long would not only require someone to be very consistent, but to also have the willpower to not go over the top interacting with fans (which I don't think most fans have the self control to not take advantage of). This account doesn't seem to have any bias towards anything. In fact they remain completely impartial, sticking to their script. They seem fine with remaining in the shadows with fans assuming they are insignificant or otherwise, all while keeping the act going almost a half a year later.

With s5 getting no promotion outside of Ross's (sometimes) weekly BTS photo-dumps, this season's roll-out has been almost non-existent. Usually we would get phone numbers to call and obsess over, even 1-2 years out from release, and yet nothing.

I find this approach interesting because it does honestly resemble something I could picture the show doing to hype up s5. If the radio station is going to be a prominent location, then it offers up a really creative way to interact with fans as a way to promote the show.

Them humbly leaving hints about the final season through songs via a ‘radio station’, could parallel similarly to easter egg like approaches they've presented in the past. Only this time (the last time) it would have existed and built up for months with most not knowing about it, offering up a sleuth different songs fans could dig into if it was ever revealed to be promotion for s5.

With their being whispers that we could get something revealed in regards to s5 very soon, and with this playlist finally reaching 100 songs, I thought I would celebrate and remind ya'll it still exists in case you need an excuse to overanalyze something new.

[necroromantics]

🪓 — Conversations With A Killer

ticci toby short story.

- your pen will rapidly hit against the cold, metal table as you watch the clock tick on. time had you in a chokehold, squeezing your throat and forcing its way into your chest. you have done this before, countless times. sitting yourself in a small, empty room with nothing but a pen, notebook, and case file.

- early in your life you decided upon a career in forensic psychology. the mind of a criminal captured you as every interaction you had with a patient made you fall into their hands like a new victim. the difference between yourself and the ones 6ft under, is that in these small, empty rooms, you are in control.

- squirming impatiently in your chair, you opened the case file once again and began refreshing yourself on the indictment . goosebumps began tingling their way onto your arms, and you didn’t quite know if it was the cool air breezing in from the ac or the content on the pages that were the cause.

- thoughts swam like great whites hunting for blood in your mind about the kind of person who was capable of doing such things. your eyes glanced at the suspects name. and then his age.

- the repetitive sound of the plastic pen quickly pattering against the table came to a sudden halt as the door opened behind you. turning around to face the noise, you eyed the man wearing an orange jumpsuit being led in by two bulky policemen.

- you were wrong. that was no man, that was only a boy. he was small, and lanky. his poor posture brought his height down to around 5’6, his skin was pale and his hair was a shaggy mess.

- he threw himself into the chair as he sat down, immediately facing his head down to his shoes, eyeing the ground. you looked back at the officers who brought him in and gave them a nod of approval to leave you alone in the room.

- you knew better than to trust him, despite the harmless appearance. but here sitting across from you was a sickly, awkward looking boy who you knew to be only 19 years old. his gaze stayed firm to the floor, you couldn’t catch a good glimpse at his eyes.

- clearing your throat, you ignored the occasional twitch and jerk coming from the brunette who sat unspeaking across from you. you started, “uh- well. im going to need you to state your name for me, can you do that?”

- for a minute, there was no reply. the only sound was the buzzing of the fluorescent light, and the random sporadic whistle or forced cough from him. you repeated once again, “your name?”

- “toby.” his voice was quiet, but rough. a bit raspy. it was spoken so low you could barely make it out. you knew his name though, of course. you knew everything on the books about this boy. your job here today was to see what he knew.

- “okay toby, do you know why you’re here with me?”

- silence again. he didn’t speak this time, he only shook his head. the boy began biting his nails, his head still so far down his chin almost hit his chest. his head was coiled into his shoulders as he hunched over, doing his best to avoid any form of eye contact. his arm was wrapped around, hugging his core as his other one was raised up to his mouth to be chewed on.

- here sat a boy who didn’t look like he belonged in that orange jumpsuit, and across from him was you who didn’t know what to expect. its not to say you were clueless, god knows you’ve been around the block. but you’ve never dealt with someone so weird.

- amongst the twitches, awkward body language, and aggressive lack of eye contact, there was something else about toby you couldn’t quite put your finger on. there was something in the air around him that felt unnatural, and sickening, like the rot that surrounds a corpse in the morgue. you felt as though you were a mortician confronting a dead body.

- “my report is telling me you were arrested due to your involvement with a weapons trafficking bust. you look fairly young to be involved in that kind of business” eyeing the boy in front of you, you continued, “looking deeper into you, though. we found some interesting things.”

- attempts to illicit any sort of response from the seemingly unstable boy were proven to be futile. but your perseverance knew no bounds, and so you pushed further.

- “do you remember a fire that happened in 2011, in denver, colorado? you mustve been 17 at the time.” your hands folded softly over the beige file that held many documents.

- with one quick motion, his whole body jerked and he slammed his hand onto the table. the sudden sound nearly made you jump, and you would’ve been out of your seat if you weren’t as strong-hearted as you were. but resilient you stayed, just as you always have.

- “i dont know nothing about any fire” he spoke a bit louder this time, and raised his head very slightly, showing his eyes but not quite fixing his posture. though his head remained down, his eyes were now up as he stared at you through his thick eyebrows.

- tobys eyes were dark. his face was young and boyish, but you could see it in his eyes that he has witnessed things no 19 year old boy should have. those eyes were ripe with age beyond him. it felt as though you were looking at a veteran returning home from war, near shellshocked.

- as he continued to eat at his one hand, his other drummed rapidly on the tabletop. dirt was stuck under his chewed up nails, and they were stained with violence. you wondered to yourself for a minute what kinds of things those hands have done, what horrors they have committed.

- sliding the file in front of you, your hand rested on top of it. “do you know whats in here?”

- “a bunch of horseshit.” he muttered, glancing away as he cussed, not taking his hand away from his mouth.

- “this is a documentation of what happened the night of that fire. and information on you as well. the police out there have their own story. now i want to hear yours.”

- toby only shook his head quickly in reply, as to brush you off like dirt on his shoulder. “there is no story, there’s nothing.”

- “amuse me a little bit here toby.”

- his brooding gaze hit the floor once again as his arms wrapped around himself as if he were giving himself a hug. closing him off from the world, and you. this proved to be more difficult than you initially expected. usually younger criminals are talkers, they don’t think things through before they start letting their ego run their mouth.

- “do.. do you not know how to fucking listen? i said there is no.. no story. none.” his words were slightly slurred caused by the deteriorating gash on his left cheek. the tone began to grow harsh, but quiet, like a spark building into a flame.

- with only the lights buzzing and the drilling of the ac spewing out cold air to break the tension that slowly rose between you two, you flipped open the folder and pulled out a photograph.

- “this here is a man named frank rogers, he was an unfortunate victim to the house fire. his son was initially believed to be another potential victim of the fire that spread across the neighborhood and forest as well. but no body was ever found.”

- slowly, he raised his head up. when the boy eyed the photograph, for a split second you swore you saw a hint of amusement form in the cracks of his mouth and eyes. regardless, he remained silent. only repeatedly shaking his head at your questions in desperate attempt brush you off.

- a small tickle grew in your throat as so did your frustration, and desperation. determination to get answers bubbled up inside of you like a sisyphus boulder being pushed eternally up hill. or icarus, making his way towards the sun. despite the chilly breeze flowing in the room, you felt yourself nearly breaking a feverous sweat.

- pulling at your shirt collar, you pulled out a written document and held it in your hands. “autopsy of franks body, as far as they could recover from the fire, showed proof of foul play”. you were lying through your teeth, there was no evidence here. you knew his body was burnt to a crisp, beyond what any autopsy could prove. but you did what you must to confirm the occurrences of that night. this was your job.

- “i guess that’s unfortunate for him then. shouldve learned to play nice” was the only reply toby gave you.

- suddenly a harsh cough shot through your lungs as you felt yourself become a bit dizzy. putting a finger up, you signalled for the younger to excuse you for a moment. it took a minute to collect yourself before you continued again. a quick smirk twisted itself onto the boys face as he kept his head down, trying to avoid your gaze.

- next, you pulled out a collection of old medical records. these were reports of hospital visits from toby’s early childhood, he was remarked as a very accident prone boy. many of the reports showed his body littered with bruises, contusions, and occasional sprains. they were described as accident-caused injuries at the hands of his CIPA disorder which prevented him from feeling pain.

- you knew better than anyone what those bruises were from, and you knew better than anyone it wasn’t any accident.

- “when your father hit you, did he-“ your sentence was cut off quickly.

- “you dont know anything about my father. you dont know shit about what he did”

- the conversation cut out for a moment like a box tv turning off, the immediate change of tone in his voice caught you off guard. he went from a stuttering, quiet boy to a firm, violent tone. it was if he was baring his teeth and growling like a feral hound.

- “tell me then. tell me about your father.” and this is where you win. this is where you get toby rogers to talk.

- “my old man was a mean fucker. he would always hurt my mom, and my sister.” now the hostility has slipped away, replaced with a tragic demeanour where he refused to look you in the eye. sorrow sunk deep into his face, his eyes, now visible once again, looked much more sad then they had just moments before.

- the sudden, volatile changes made you feel queasy, or maybe it was something that you ate. the aura of the boy was suffocating, it squeezed your lungs and scratched at them, forcing out another cough from you.

- through your building unease, you spoke still. “and you? was he the cause of all these injuries?”

- “oh, yeah. i guess. i guess thats why i killed him.”

- your heart dropped into your stomach so quickly it was comparable to a fair ride. did you just get a confession? your teeth bit the inside of your cheek to restrain a victorious smile. maybe this was going to be easier than you thought.

- “can you repeat that for me?”

- “i said,” toby crossed his arms atop the table and leaned in, looking you straight in the eye, “thats why i killed that piece of shit.”

- breath escaped you, and the world around you turned to static. this made your job significantly better, when the killer freely admits to the crime. but you wanted more, you wanted to grab a shovel and dig up the grave of the past. and so you threw yourself into the rabbit hole, and let the static consume anything that wasn’t this boy in this moment.

- “and how did you kill him?”

- “knife. good ol’ trusty kitchen knife.” he was talking so casually, as if it was an everyday event for him. office chatter at best.

- “what did you gain out of this? hurting him makes you just as bad, no?”

- no word from toby, there was an image of a blaring red alarm in your head. a line you shouldn’t cross, but you do, because you need more, and more, and more.

- his stare trickled down your face as he began to eye your nose, the boys expression scrunched into one of disgusted amusement, near sadistic. “your nose is bleeding”.

- tapping onto your upper lip, you felt a wet sensation as blood coated your finger. you were too focused on the confession, and there was that static in your head that drowned out the rest of the world. all that surrounded you was this boy, toby rogers.

- quickly, you get up from your seat and excuse yourself outside. the ambience of the exterior hallway in the station was in stark contrast to the suffocating atmosphere of the questioning room. despite the time of day, the hallway was empty and quiet. it seemed much longer than you remembered.

- the hallway was quiet. the white tiled floors complimented the beige painted walls, and occasional grey metal door. the place that should’ve been filled with beeps, chatter, and police radio were now replaced with the soft buzzing of the overhead fluorescent lights that seemed too bright. your head pounded, you felt sick and dizzy, like you were losing your mind in this place.

- making your way down in attempt to find a bathroom, you felt your heart beat in your chest, building its way up to your throat. you could start to taste the metallic blood on your lips as it slipped down from your nose. uneasiness choked another rough cough out of you as you stopped in your tracks. you realized you have been walking for a few too many minutes now. the hallway was never this long.

- you must’ve missed an exit, you turned around and tried to make your way back the same way you came. when you turned heel, your body began to weaken and you collapsed to the floor, a wave of disease plagued over you as it consumed your mind and body. you fell weak onto the floor, and when your body collided with the tile, your hands met dirt and grass.

- your head faced down as you violently coughed, a sharp pain filled your head and there was a violently loud ringing in your ears. blood splattered from your mouth as you dry-heaved in attempt to catch your escaping breath. collecting yourself was a cat and mouse chase.

- the world around you now was dark, and cold. fresh air of the outdoors whipped your lungs as your body began to shake. you look up through tears of pain in your eyes as you remain on your hands and knees and look up at the tall, slender trees that now surround you. this wasn’t the hallway you collapsed in. you don’t know how you got outside.

- you were swallowed whole by sickness and disorientation, you barely noticed the figure approaching.

- a man wearing orange goggles and a barred-smile grey mask approached you. you may have not been able to see his face, but you noticed the air that surrounded him immediately. you knew who this boy was.

- now wearing a sweater and jeans instead of the orange jumpsuit, he crouched down in front of you. hatchets sat loyal on the holster connected to his belt, you saw mud and what looked like to be blood coating his shoes.

- his rough hands grabbed a handful of your hair as he violently jerked your head up to meet his gaze. he silently tilted his head as to look at you in a different light.

- “you.. you wanna know something funny?”

- the boys low, taunting voice was familiar, you felt yourself taken over by adrenaline. you didn’t know if you should try to run, or obey. you stayed silent.

- jerking his arm, he slammed your head aggressively into the ground beneath you, and by your hair he lifted your head up again. yelps, whimpers and begging was all that escaped your bloody, trembling lips as your hands now wrapped around his arm in attempts to get him off of you.

- “i said, you wanna know something real fucking funny?” his voice was muffled by the mask, but boomed loudly almost to the point it echoed. you could hear the brutality leak off of his tongue. glancing at the woods that surrounded you two, you tried to think of an escape plan

- “what..?” your once confident voice was beat to only a quiet, desperate whimper. in these woods, he was in control.

- “you were wrong. im not as bad as my father…”

- as he spoke these words in a mumble, he gripped your hair tighter and got up, dragging you to your knees and forcing your head back to reveal your neck. he stood tall on his feet and looked down at you as if you were only scum under his shoe.

- you squirmed and screamed, you didn’t want to die in this place, not today. you couldve swore you saw something behind him, hidden in the trees. you couldnt make out its face. the ringing in your ears got worse.

- with a quick motion, he removed one of his hatchets from his belt and held it back, ready to swing at your exposed neck.

- “oh, im far worse.”

[swallowerofdharma]

Tales of separated lovers

A preview of the artwork for the cover of volume 9 of Saezuru has been posted. Looking at the horizontal format, my thoughts went to the dust jacket, the removable paper cover, and how we will have Yashiro on the front and Doumeki on the back cover, yet they will still be connected through their touching across the spine of the book. Doumeki is the one reaching, but he does so with a protective glove, while Yashiro doesn’t know how to interpret the touch and grab Doumeki’s wrist to stop or redirect him. He doesn’t understand Doumeki’s intentions. Once we close the volume, they will be on different sides, two separated lovers.

And so I thought, why not writing down at this point my interpretation of Doumeki’s tattoo? Many others have contributed their thoughts and theories and it was always interesting to read them. This isn’t a counter argument to any different explanation, only a contribution to the discussion, my personal interpretation and reasoning.

In this little exchange between Yashiro and Nanahara in chapter 53, Yoneda takes the opportunity to give us a big clue. Although it didn’t seem like Yashiro examined the tattoo that closely in his shock upon discovering it, he tells Nanahara: “He’s carrying around some celestial maiden or whatever on his back”.

While I was reading about Japanese festivals, I was captivated by the story behind the Tanabata or Star Festival, the tale of The Cowherd and The Weaver Girl.

In the original legend the two lovers are both celestial beings, but in other tales the cowherd is a human man who falls in love with a celestial maiden and marries her through deception. But the common point in all these stories is that the couple will become separated, the celestial maiden or spouse will go back to the sky and the man will be forbidden from seeing her and will have to go through some kind of trial to meet her again sporadically.

Now, I think Doumeki made a heavy choice. But one might as well think he was already pinkyless, why not tattooed as well? And the scars on his face aren’t hidden by clothes. He cut his finger off without even sharing sake and now that he has, that he is formally part of the Sakura family, why not celebrate his new status with a tattoo as well? The tattoo might show his resolve and commitment to do as it takes to see his celestial spouse once again.

Yashiro is horrified and it is a testament to how well these characters are written that we can understand his reaction on multiple and profound psychological levels. The men that Yashiro sought out and that used violence freely, the men who trapped him in the yakuza, the men who put his life in danger, they have their backs covered in tattoos. Yet Doumeki was supposed to be different in Yashiro’s point of view. Beginning with his impotence, and the way he used to treat him, without contempt, Doumeki from four years ago, before the Hirata incident, was in Yashiro’s eyes supposed to go back to a normal life, a safer life without the stigma. Because severed fingers and tattoos continue to be stigmatized in Japan. Yashiro knows what that means, because people had been treated him differently and regarded him in contempt even before he was formally introduced to the yakuza. Why bother with a tattoo when Yashiro’s stigma is even unrelated to that? But for Doumeki he had envisioned something better. I love how real this is, from the perspective of trauma, that feeling of separation from the experiences of others, from the experience of Yashiro’s internalized homophobia and the homophobia that is directed towards him, from the social aspect of being yakuza as opposed to be a “civilian”, the constant proximity with crime, corruption, power struggles and danger, in Yashiro’s eyes the ceremonies, the tattoos, all are a cover up, they are fictional, superficial things, he never belonged anyway. He is there because of Misumi’s capricious nature, on a whim. And Doumeki wasn’t supposed to be part of it. Yashiro had a little, modest dream, he could get him out, he could let him go free of it all. Free of any additional stigma. Can’t fingers be reattached?

On the other hand, Doumeki’s tattoo, Yoneda let us know is probably “some celestial maiden or whatever”, recalls stories of separated lovers who were bound to meet again, even if for a fleeting moment, one night a year, and maybe even less, because it is said that if it rains the lovers are prevented from traversing the heavenly river.

Sources:

Lafcadio Hearn, The romance of the Milky Way, 1905 : this is still the best retelling in English prose I have found, however I didn’t search wide and far, and it includes some of the common Japanese variations of the original Chinese tale.

Takagi Masafumi, シリーズ/比較民話](二)天人女房/白鳥処女 [Series: Comparative Studies of the Folktale (2) Tennin Nyoobo/The Swan Maiden] (In Japanese)

Hagoromo Tale (In Japanese) : this is the page with a most interesting depiction

Tanabata on Wikipedia

Swan Maiden on Wikipedia

[lilacura]

Drift | Miyawaki Sakura

pairing: kazuha x reader , sakura x reader

>wc: 1.8k

sypnosis: in a world consumed by fame and shattered dreams, you find yourself caught in the whirlwind of a relationship neglected for the allure of success. But when all hope seems lost, an unexpected source of solace emerges in Sakura, your girlfriends' bandmate.

Things used to be so good between you and Kazuha. You remembered first meeting her at one of her early band practices with the other LE SSERAFIM members. Her skills on the guitar and soothing vocals instantly drew you in. After building up the courage, you confessed your feelings and were overjoyed when she felt the same.

Kazuha was devoted in the beginning of your relationship, always making time for dates and staying up late chatting on the phone when busy schedules got in the way of seeing each other in person. She wrote the sweetest songs that were inspired by your love. You proudly supported her at every concert and event, feeling like the luckiest girl to have an up and coming star as your girlfriend.

But as LE SSERAFIM's popularity grew, Kazuha seemed to grow more distant. Practices and recordings stretched later and later into the night. Your anxious texts went unanswered for hours, then whole days. When you did manage to see her, she was distracted, constantly checking her phone for updates from her manager. More than once, plans you had made got cancelled last minute as she had to prioritize work.

You tried to be understanding of her hectic new lifestyle. After all, this was her dream and you didn't want to hold her back. But it was like you barely even factored into her life anymore. Simple affectionate gestures stopped, then meaningful conversations. Being in a long-distance relationship was taking its toll, yet Kazuha didn't seem to be trying very hard to overcome the challenges.

One particular free evening, she once again cancelled plans to meet up without much of an explanation or apology. Frustrated tears filled your eyes as you paced around, feeling lonelier than ever. That's when there was a knock at your door.

"Sakura? What are you doing here?" you asked in surprise when you opened it to find Kazuha's bandmate and friend. She must have sensed something was wrong, as sympathetic eyes looked back at you.

"I know things have been rough. I figured you could use some company," Sakura said gently, holding up the pizza and movie she brought. Her thoughtfulness caught you off guard in that moment. Before you knew it, you were pouring your heart out about everything with Kazuha while she listened supportively.

A weight felt lifted getting it all out in the open. Sakura understood better than most the toll the idol life could take and didn't make excuses for Kazuha's behavior. She simply comforted you with a hug. When had you last felt so at ease just being with Kazuha? It was in that embrace you realized how much you had really been missing human affection and care.

From then on, Sakura continued to be there for you in the ways Kazuha wasn't. Long talks over coffee, taking you out on fun dates, simple gestures like bringing your favorite snacks. Before long, your gratitude toward her grew into something more that made you question everything. Was what you had left with Kazuha even a meaningful relationship anymore if she couldn't be bothered to put you first?

As the distance grew and Kazuha's busy schedule continued to strain your relationship, the cracks became more apparent. Communication became sporadic, and when you did manage to talk, it felt forced and distant. The once sweet gestures and affectionate moments were replaced with a coldness that left you feeling isolated and unimportant.

One evening, overwhelmed by your emotions, you finally mustered the courage to confront Kazuha about the state of your relationship. With a heavy sigh, you looked into her eyes and said, "Kazuha, we need to talk. I can't keep going on like this. Our relationship feels so distant and one-sided. I feel neglected and unimportant to you."

Kazuha, sensing the seriousness in your voice, let out a deep breath and responded, "I've been working so hard to pursue my dreams, and I thought you would understand that. This is just a temporary bump in the road. I can't believe you'd just give up so easily. It feels like you don't love me as much as I do you."

Your frustration grew as you shook your head. "It's not about giving up, Kazuha. I've been trying to make it work, but it feels like you don't even see how much you've been hurting me. I need someone who will prioritize our relationship, not just brush it off as a minor inconvenience."

Kazuha's expression turned defensive, her voice tinged with anger. "This is unfair! I've been doing everything I can to juggle my career and our relationship. You're making it seem like I don't love you as much as you love me."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you tried to convey the depth of your emotions. "It's not about measuring love, Kazuha. It's about feeling valued and cared for. I need more than just empty promises and excuses. I need actions that show me you're willing to put effort into us."

Kazuha's defiance remained, her voice growing more defiant. "I can't believe you're making it seem like I'm the one in the wrong here. Maybe you're just not as committed as you claim to be if you're so quick to leave over a rough patch."

Your heart ached as you wiped away tears, realizing the disconnect between your needs and Kazuha's understanding. "It's not about commitment, Kazuha. It's about respect and emotional support. I can't keep sacrificing my own happiness for the sake of a relationship that feels like it's crumbling."

“y/n right now is not the time to talk about this, maybe after i’m done with the new comeback.”  Leaving you in the room alone.

Dumbstruck, you sat there, the weight of Kazuha's words pressing heavily on your chest. Her dismissal and departure left you feeling abandoned and unheard. The room felt suffocating as the reality of the situation settled in.

A whirlwind of emotions swirled within you - hurt, confusion, and anger. How could Kazuha prioritize her career over the crumbling state of your relationship? It felt like a betrayal of the love and commitment you had shared.

As you sat alone, tears streaming down your face, you couldn't help but question everything. Was your love not enough? Were your needs too demanding? The self-doubt crept in, adding another layer of pain to the already wounded heart.

A part of you held on to hope things would change if you just gave it more time. But one night when you scrolled through Kazuha's Instagram live to find her completely engrossed in a flirty interaction with a famous actress instead of responding to your texts, that was the final straw. 

You knew then it was time to let go.

Though it hurt to end things after so long, an immense weight was lifted at the same time. You realized your self-worth shouldn't depend on anyone who didn't treat you right. And maybe, just maybe, you had found that in someone else all along without realizing.

At their next band practice, you worked up the courage to tell Sakura how you really felt.

Your heart was pounding as you approached Sakura at band practice that day. So much had led to this moment after the turmoil with Kazuha, but were your feelings for Sakura really more than just comfort in hard times? There was only one way to find out. 

The others had gone on their break, leaving you two alone in the studio. Sakura glanced up with her warm, gentle smile that always set you at ease. "What's up? You seem nervous about something." You took a steadying breath.

"There's something I need to tell you. These past few months with you have been really special," you began hesitantly. Sakura remained quiet, watching you intently with care and concern. Her attention gave you courage to continue. 

"When we're together, it feels... right, in a way nothing has for a long time. You're always there for me without judgment. And I've come to realize, what I feel for you is more than just friendship."

Sakura drew in a small gasp, eyes widening slightly as your confession sank in. Your heart sank too, fearing you had just ruined the best thing in your life right now. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. Please forget it, I don't want things to be awkward between us—"

"No, don't apologize," she interrupted softly, reaching to take your fidgeting hands in hers. Her touch was soothing yet electrified your nerves all at once. "I feel the same way about you. I was just too afraid to admit it." 

A wave of relief and elation rushed through you at those words. Sakura returned your happy tears with her own, and you embraced tightly, all the tension and uncertainty melting away. All that remained was the joy of knowing your feelings were truly reciprocated, and a bright new future unfolding before you both at last.

A few months had passed since you and Sakura admitted your feelings for each other. Being with her felt like the missing piece you never knew you needed. She was attentive, caring, and made you feel truly seen in a way Kazuha had stopped doing. 

When the paparazzi caught wind of your new relationship, it caused a media stir as the first out couple in the K-pop world. LE SSERAFIM's fans had mixed reactions, but Kazuha's response cut the deepest. Instead of being supportive, she gave shady interviews implying you had betrayed her trust. 

It was an awkward time during band promotions when you would visit Sakura, having to face your ex frequently. Kazuha gave you the cold shoulder, while Sakura did her best to diffuse tensions for the group's sake. You knew you would run into Kazuha eventually when the members all gathered for practice.

Stepping into the studio, you braced yourself as glares met you from across the room. Before things could escalate, Sakura took your hand for reassurance. "Just focus on me, okay?" she said gently but firmly to the group. You nodded, trying to push aside old hurt feelings. 

Their practice went somewhat smoothly at first, until a break where Kazuha cornered you alone. "I can't believe after everything we had, you would throw it away for her," she spat bitterly. You took a breath to remain calm. "You threw us away first when you stopped caring. I found real love with Sakura."

Kazuha scoffed. "Real love? She'll just abandon you too when it's no longer convenient." Your patience wore thin at that cheap shot. Before you knew it, words spilled out about all the loneliness and neglect you had suffered in silence. How dare she question your relationship when she gave up on you first?

Sakura must have sensed the tension, appearing to diffuse the situation. "That's enough, we should get back to practice." Kazuha shot daggers but stormed off, leaving you in tearful silence. You felt Sakura's comforting arms around you. "You did nothing wrong. I'm here, always." Renewed by her love and support, you knew in time the wounds would heal.

a/n: y/n in her homie hopper era

[theblueflower05]

Hmmm how about Alpha!reader overstimulating Omaga!Lo’ak because she was jealous seeing him being a little too nice to another female alpha. So she punishes him from sunset to sunrise. Idk if this is any good but just a thought, Love. ABSOLUTELY LOVING YOUR A/B/O series, can’t wait for the next chapter 😘

This is probs my fave slutty ask I’ve gotten. When I saw it I fucking SCREAMED.

It also is kind of a sister story to my Tsireya x Jealous Reader. Like same same, but flipped.

You’re possessive, and it’s not something that you hide.

Lo’ak learned it pretty early on in your relationship. You’re an extremely transparent person, you wear your emotions on your face and your heart on your sleeve. He appreciates it because it because as someone who’s always eager and anxious to impress, you don’t keep him guessing much. You tell him what you feel, what you want.

And you want him to be yours, and only yours.

Smut under the cut

It’s all you’ve ever wanted.

You’re not nasty about it- you don’t snarl at him for spending time with his friends and family. You encourage other healthy relationships in his life. You’re a good woman, his father reassures him proudly. A good alpha, Neytiri tacks on for good measure.

You have zero tolerance for other alphas touching what is yours.

You’re gentle, a weaver. Not known to the clan as a warrior or hunter. Your parents are passed onto Eywa, and even when they were still Pandora bound, they weren’t high standing members of the clan- and yet. You’ve carved out a place for yourself. You’re respected, as a young capable alpha in your prime.

You don’t enjoy fighting, don’t enjoy being angry or violent. But you will become so, to protect what is yours.

Lo’ak had never seen your temper flare the way it had earlier, down at the beach.

It was a little scary- to see you like that. Your powder blue eyes that are usually so soft had gone hard, your pupils slits. The snarl that had left you had made almost all around you take a step back- it was all Alpha. Powerful. Full of rage. A warning for bloodshed.

It had taken two Alphas, twice your size, to drag you off and he’d watched with large golden eyes. In complete shock. At the unfortunate unfolding of the situation-

“What are you doing? Go to her, you skxawng ” his elder brother had hissed at him, kicking him into action.

Lo’ak had followed like a Viper wolf pup as you broke away from the other alphas- snatching out of their grasps with a huff- and had made your way back to your shared home.

He feels like shit, horribly bad, as he enters the Mauri. His tail between his legs and his ears twitching on his head.

You’re pacing, back and forth. Clearly still upset. Your chest is heaving and your thick take twitches sporadically-

“Y/N” he murmurs, calling to you because you won’t look at him.

You just continue on. Still raging. And it’s hard to watch- especially knowing that he had caused the whole thing.

“Yawne, please-“ he continues, coming forward and reaching out to you. His large five fingered hand coming around your petite wrist.

“No. Do NOT touch me right now” You yank, hard out of his hold, and finally turn to him.

What he sees breaks his heart.

Your eyes are big and swimming, tears leave tracks as they rush down your face. He’d never seen you cry, not like this. The sight alone has the hair on the back of his neck raising-

“I’m sorry- I’m so sorry Mamas, don’t cry” his tone is hushed, hesitant. He doesn’t know what to do. Everything in him is telling him to rush to you. To hold you, to make you hold him.

“I’m not crying because I’m sad” you snap at him, hating how he’s looking at you with that pitying gaze. “I’m so fucking angry right now Lo’ak”

You almost never call him by his real name- it’s always affectionate pet names. Hearing it makes his ears lower, flat into his braids.

“I could fucking kill her” you seethe. Continuing, because you have to get this anger out somehow “I don’t care if she’s the Olo’eyktans daughter- how dare she lay her hands on you! You’re mated- you wear my bite!”

Tsireya had been a problem for months now. She had always had her eye on Lo’ak and who could blame her? The Omega was gorgeous. Capable. He’d passed his Iknimaya and was a valued hunter.

And he had a fucking wife.

You thought that she’d get that through her thick skull.

And yet her advances never seemed to stop. They were usually small- barley there things. Occurrences that drove you crazy but that you couldn’t really prove.

“She was just being nice-“ Lo’ak urges and you scoff.

“Don’t. Don’t play dumb when I know how smart you are. She touched your scent gland- she may as well have scented you. I can still smell her on you. Even now” you’re voice is shaking as you try to control it.

Lo’ak feels horrible.

He’d chalked Tsireya’s actions up to kindness- since he had arrived in Awa’atlu the Alpha and future Tsahik had been nothing but nice to him and his family. He’d noticed her advances and while flattered, had ignored them. Pushed them to the side.

Why would he focus on any other Alpha when he had you?

He shouldn’t have let it get this far. She was helping train him, like she used to. It was all supposed to be innocent-

The weight of the reality of the situation is crushing. Another Alpha had touched his scent gland. So be it it was the one in his wrist, the most innocent. But still.

A lump sticks in his throat as panic rises in his chest.

What if…what if this changed things? He had been so hesitant, so confused when you’d courted him. Had been even more so when you bonded him. You’re so good, too good for him.

Had you finally gained clarity? Had it donned on you that he wasn’t worth being with?

“Please” Lo’ak begs as he reaches out for you only to be rebuffed once more. It makes hot tears sting at his eyes “please, I’ll be better. I won’t let anything like that happen again- don’t make me leave. Don’t leave me”

Your eyes snap to his and your mouth pulls into a deep frown. You’re too pretty to look so upset. He hates it.

Lo’ak drops to his knees, right in front of you. His neck tilting to the side, his braids falling away. His clear, unprotected throat on display for you.

Only the faint scarring of his bite mark visible.

It’s the ultimate form of submission. Even most Omegas don’t give it so freely. Showing one’s mating bite is intimate. Big. Off limits.

A small gasp leaves your mouth.

He doesn’t care.

He needs you to get it. To understand.

“I’m yours” he vows, like he had the first night youd made Tsaheylu. The first night he’d taken your knot. The first night he’d felt your teeth sink into his skin.

Your hand cups his face and he leans into it. Your still shaking. Still haven’t calmed down. “You’re mine?”

“Yeah.” He whispers, his tongue coming out to wet his dry lips “I’m yours”

“Prove it”

————————

He knew you weren’t going to go easy on him, but holy fuck.

There was no way to foresee just what the night would entail.

You could make Lo’ak cry from pleasure on any given day. Your pretty pussy, your hot mouth, your skilled hands? They could all bring him to tearful orgasms, easily.

This is something different. Lo’ak feels like he’s been broken down to bare bones, to the base of who he is.

It’s been hours, the sky had turned from blue to black- and was on its way to being blue once more. The birds chirp as the dawn breaks-

And still you give him no reprieve.

He’s a mess- flat in his back on the thread bare bed mat. The sheets and bedding had been pushed away ages ago- there was nothing to tangle himself in. To ground himself with.

He can only lay there and take what you give him.

You’d been fucking him for hours. Bouncing on top of his hard cock relentlessly.

The worst part is is that you don’t even look worse off.

No, You’re goddess as you’re perched on-top of him. Beautiful and ethereal- and wrathful.

You ride him like you have something to prove, your hips moving in dizzying circles. You’re so fucking wet, the juices from your pussy drop down, coating your thighs and his groin- you have to be close to coming.

And yet you don’t. That glorious knot never locks around him. He never gets the fulfillment that he truly needs.

You’ve wrung orgasm after orgasm out of him throughout the night- but you haven’t let him cum inside of you. And you haven’t knotted him-

It’s fucking torture. His body needs it. His cock screams, not recieving the intense pressure of you constricting around him when he shoots off is painful. It leaves him feeling frustrated and unsatisfied.

“Please” he gurgles out the plea as he feels the base of his tail start to tingle- a clear sign of the incoming orgasm.

You glare down at him “please, what?”

Lo’aks eyes squeeze shut, the tears running consistently into his hair line. He’s wet everywhere- sticky. A complete mess.

“Please knot me, Alpha. I need your knot”

It’s nasally and whiney and way too fucking loud. Deep down, he knows he should be ashamed of it. The neighbors can hear him getting worked over like this, punishes beyond belief, but he can’t bring himself to care.

If you want them to hear, then he’ll make sure they do.

He’ll do anything you ask.

Your eyes are hard, unforgiving. Still puffy from the furious tears you’d shed and Lo’ak can’t help it.

He reaches up with weak arms to cup your pretty face. His large thumbs rub soothing circles in the delicate skin under your eyes “love you, Y/N. I’m so sorry…I never want to do anything to hurt you”

You go soft on top of him, your hips stoping their mean swivel as all of the fight seems to drain from your body. Your head hangs. Tendrils of your long hair fall in your face-

“As I love you, sweet Omega”

————

Listen I could go in but I’m gonna cut it there lol somehow I end up writing whole ass mini fics for these asks! They’re just too good!

[thevoidstaredback]

So, I told you guys about the Minecraft server that's been having problems lately, right? The one that I'm salty about for several reasons, one of which being that I'm not able to do what I was told I would be doing.

Anyway, our admin (a long time friend of mine) announced this past Saturday that he would be ending the project. The main reason being that the people holding big roles (I would totally [user]name drop them, but I'm not gonna be that petty yet) have been bailing out literal hours before recording happens. Two of them have even been ghosting us all!

The problem is that I don't want to give this up. This project is something Admin has been dreaming about since we were in middle school. I've been helping him with this since I was in middle school (he in high school)(he's a year older than me). I want this to be a thing that happens because, and this is a little selfish, it's something I've been wanting to do, too.

Now, I've got two options. I can continue with this on my own, get everything set up before even approaching anyone about retrying; or I can talk to the others (Admin R, admin I, admin S, admin B, and myself (admin L)) and we can work together on retrying it. Either way, we have to be more cohesive.

This is where y'all come in. I need advice. Under the cut is a message I have drafted to send to the others, or at least Admin R. Will y'all let me know what you think about it? Anything I need to add or clarify?

Any advice is welcome because I don't normally have conversations like this, but I have before.

I'm also very stubborn about this. I will be doing this project with or without the others. It'll just be faster and funner with them.

If y'all don't really care, that's fine. Most, if not all, of you followed me for my writing, and I promise stuff is coming soon. But I can't go to my other socials with this because they follow my other socials and I don't want them knowing about this until I've got what I need/want to say sorted out. Regardless, a version of this message, if not this exact thing, is being sent out by noon tomorrow.

Y'know, I was thinking about the announcement from Sat. If we want to try and pick this up again in the future, doing an actual casting call would probably be our best bet. With a hard set schedule, the world built before even looking for voices, and a storyline to follow (if we don't wanna improv our way through)

It wouldn't even have to be paid roles! A casting call between friends to see who would be best where would be fine as long as we have a set schedule that eveeyone knows to follow. Like when putting on shows for school, except the rehearsals would be recording episodes. (Same with crew calls, because having a set crew and a set cast is always good)

If we do end up going with the paid route, we'd have to establish ourselves and a channel first so we can actually pay people.

This is, of course, in the scenario that we actually wanna do something like this again. If we do, we have to delegate and communicate between ourselves, and whoever joins us, better. A lot better

I think our problem was that we held too high expectations for this project. Expectations aren't bad, they're great, even! But there's a bar that we set that we couldn't reach for several reasons.

I get it, life happens, stuff gets in the way. That's where we fell apart, I think. No one was communicating with anyone, and when people did talk, it was sporadic with hours to days between messages. Last minute schedule changes across the board that wouldn't have been last minute if we'd all communicated better.

I have the most time out of all of us, I'm pretty sure, as well as several large followings in different places. I can take on a lot more than the others because of that free time and ability to reach as long as you let me. If we want to retry this, it'll take a while to set up, but I believe we could.

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 15

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 32.4k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: Hiii!! I'm finally back with chapter 15 and I'm still baffled at the fact that this one is the longest chapter in CR so far. Well, there was one chapter from the UK trip that ended up being almost 40k so I had to split it in half - but I made you wait long enough so I'm giving you it just as it ended up being. I've very quickly proofread it so I apologise for any grammatical and orthographic errors. Anyway, thanks for your patience everyone, I really really appreciate your support and your sweet messages and all the funny comments you leave here. I hope you lot enjoy this one, sending lots of love xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 |

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It was weird for Ella to go from seeing Alex almost every day to only being able to talk to him through texts sporadically throughout the week.

Not only was the time difference being a horrible obstacle, but also their jobs.

Ella usually got a chance to send a text when she woke up and was getting ready to go to work or in between her lunch breaks, and Alex would usually text her when he had a chance to be on his phone peacefully before the gigs or when he was having trouble falling asleep on the tour bus.

Thankfully, the band had had a week off in Italy by the beginning of them resuming the tour so that the O'Malleys could go on their honeymoon, which meant she got to hear from Alex more often. Ella had been swooning over the pictures Kelly was posting of them in a gorgeous villa in Lake Como, and she'd had the chance to tell Alex how jealous she was of their picturesque views when they had managed to facetime on a random Wednesday during that week off. Alex was in Sorrento with Matt, Jamie and Katie and it was funny hearing how Alex and Matt were being third wheels to the fiances.

Picking up her phone to find random pictures of the places Alex was visiting was something Ella was growing used to. Sometimes it'd be accompanied with a cute 'You'd love this place x' or 'Wish you were here xx', and other times it would be a picture Matt had managed to ruin of a lovely view and it'd come with 'I'm tempted to throw him off this cliff x' to which Ella usually replied with a 'Please do x'.

The pictures Alex got back were mostly of Ella behind the cameras or Ella rolling her eyes by her laptop opened on her email. Being a director meant loads of things on her plate but despite putting on a face for the camera, Ella absolutely loved it. Sometimes the singer would get videos Ella had taken behind the scenes of a production she was shooting, or a quick run through the crew putting everything together for a shoot and Ella excitedly talking about which company it was for and a quick summary of what they were gonna be doing.

But then, the Monkeys resumed their tour so it went back to the little they were managing to talk on the daily, but they were making an effort to keep each other in on what was going on.

They'd talk about anything but what they were itching to say. Because there wasn't a day that would go by without them thinking about that kiss, or rather the couple of kisses they shared in Alex's guest room. And the thought was always accompanied by the hope of another kiss being on the cards for them the next time they'd see each other.

There had been nights on tour Alex had been so drunk he'd found himself writing some sort of message to Ella. Something along the lines of 'I think about those seven minutes far too often darling, and I'm stupidly hoping for them to happen once more when I see you again xxxx' but he'd always delete them, his thumb hovering over the send button for too long as he read and read the message, overthinking it so much that his drunk mind called him a fool for thinking those were the words that were gonna win him Ella.

When the 'Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?' music video came out on August 10th, the band was in Paris. Ella had called them to congratulate them and since they were in the greenroom, waiting for Pale Waves to finish their set before they could go on, Ella had managed to speak to all of them.

It had been a tad emotional, seeing them through a screen having the time of their lives. Ella had teared up when she said she missed them but her tears had cleared from her face when Matt took the piss out of her for not being able to live without them. Nick had smacked the back of the drummer's head, earning him a thank you from Ella and the video call had comically gone on with them pretending Ella was there.

Jamie had poured her a glass of wine that he put right beside Alex's phone which was propped on the drinks table, by a bottle of vodka. Ella had the best time, laughing away in her office as they purposely put on a show for her, chaotically singing along to the music they had loudly ringing through the speakers in the greenroom.

However, the call ended a little bit under half an hour later since the band had to go on stage, but Ella was left with her heart swelling in her chest when they sent her blown kisses and 'love you's as they went, Katie promising to record bits of the show to send her later.

By the time that show had ended and they were taken back to the hotel, Ella had been in a meeting with Ben, Aaron and the manager of an artist that wanted to work with Focus Creeps. That was why she had missed Alex's call, one that could've changed it all.

Alex had been on a high after the gig, but he'd found himself going back to Ella's messages and scrolling up their scattered conversations of the past month, so many feelings sparked inside him that it was almost like an instinct to call her and tell her everything that was coming to his mind: how much he wanted to see her again, to hold her and kiss her, to hear every story from her lips and in person, for her to see every show with her very own eyes and not through videos Katie managed to send her from time to time.

But Ella didn't answer and maybe it was a sign, maybe it wasn't the right time and Alex had that confirmed when Ella texted him hours later saying 'I'm so sorry I couldn't pick up, was in a meeting. I just got a three music video deal with this record label and I'll be doing it all by myself!!! I hope the show went amazing sweets, love you!! xx'

She'd seen the missed call almost two hours later and she'd thought about calling back for a split second before she remembered the difference in time zones and she cringed at the thought of stealing minutes of sleep from him.

Not that Alex wouldn't have answered. He had fallen asleep, phone in hand, waiting for her to call him back but that call never came.

Waking up to the text was bittersweet. A painful weight coming to press on his chest. It felt like another confirmation of him wanting to ask for too much from her, another confirmation of how selfish he was being. He concealed it easily through texts, sharing her excitement for her upcoming projects and even though the elation he felt for her was genuine, the situation continued to hurt nonetheless.

It felt like he was slowly losing her when his chest ached the most for her, an excruciating type of longing that had him zoning out from time to time when he thought too much about it.

And she was no better, every time she would go on her messages to see her latest texts yet to be answered it would dawn on her just how complicated this all was—the stubborn and afraid side of her hidden in the very depths of her mind telling her an annoying told you so every time her thoughts would go to this being the very reason why it wouldn't have ever worked out between them.

Distance was cruel and so was time—which seemed to go by slower than ever as if to mock them for how long they had to stay away from each other.

Another month went by with the same predicament: texts here and there, random pictures and videos of their days, one or two video calls if they were lucky to find the time to call each other without interrupting sleep or work. Ella claimed almost every thought of his and it got worse when the album finally came out.

There were many songs he had written with her in mind, 'Arabella' being the most obvious one, and Alex wanted so badly for her to catch on and say something about it. He understood why she hadn't back when they were recording but now, after everything that had happened, he was hopeful.

Yet, to his dismay, Ella didn't say anything about it when she texted him the day AM came out.

(09/09/2013 07:17) This record is incredible Al! Got it delivered right in time and I played it on the way to the office today. I keep thinking back to watching y'all record it in Rancho de la Luna and getting emotional at the memories :'( it was truly magical and hearing the album finally be out for everyone to hear makes me so fucking proud!!!! You guys are fucking amazing!!! The reviews are great, I told you this one would make history and it's already looking pretty damn good over here ;) Can't wait to see the gig later tonight! Love you!! xx

Ella had texted George to congratulate him for The 1975's debut album coming out the first day of the month, and after a little flirting from the drummer which had her blushing and struggling to reply, he had told her they'd be playing a set at the iTunes Festival that would be available to stream later.

That was how she'd found out she would be able to watch the Monkeys' set, since they were also playing the festival, when she got home from work and she was absolutely buzzing. It had been so much fun watching The 1975 while having a glass of wine the night before, and she'd ended asking Flo when they'd be touring the US so that she could get tickets to see them in LA.

Alex had thanked her for the love when he was sitting in the greenroom and he had joked about the set being dedicated to her. But he wasn't really joking. He really wished she was there with them, just like Breana, who had joined them in the previous week of the tour and was sitting on Matt's lap as they all chatted and laughed with drinks in hand.

They were due to be in the States again in a week so Alex figured he could arrange something up. They had a festival run for most of the month and it wouldn't be until the end of the month that they would go to LA for a headline show so he made a few calls to try and sort something out to see Ella earlier and he managed to convince his team of recording the music video for their next single before they got to LA, and it would be recorded with Focus Creeps again.

Before they resumed their tour, they had settled that 'One For The Road' would be the next single, along with 'You're So Dark' as its b-side.

A few emails and calls between AM's team and Focus Creeps was all it took to arrange it and the day for the shoot had fallen on the 23rd of September so the crew would be flying out to Chicago.

Alex had been buzzing in anticipation, the whole week leading up to the shoot he had spent it with an extremely good mood at the prospect of seeing Ella again, even if it was just merely a week earlier than their actual gig in Los Angeles.

But his hopes had been shattered in an instant when Ella had managed to text him back three days before the shoot saying that Aaron had been the one to be assigned the music video. One of the three videos she'd signed a contract with a record label to direct had been scheduled for that same Monday, meaning that it was between Ben and Aaron to take over and, eventually, Aaron had been the one to volunteer himself for it.

Ella'd had a tough time hiding just how upset she was about it, but Ben had caught up on it the day Aaron and his crew were checking they had everything ready for the shoot, her cheeks had gone bright red when the director came into her office and finished his quick chat about her shoot with, "Don't worry, they'll be here by the end of the month and you'll see him then."

Ben didn't need to say more than that for her to know exactly what he meant and she hated the fact that she couldn't manage to reply with anything, only a nod of her head which took her far too long to offer and Ben left the room with a knowing chuckle.

In hindsight, he must've seen the longing written all over her face as she stared at the open YouTube tab she had displayed on her computer with the latest BBC Live Lounge video which was of the Monkeys covering a Drake song she hadn't heard before. Ella sighed as she put her earphones back on and pressed play yet again, hearing the cover for the millionth time that week as she went back over the reviewed checklist Lydia had handed her over an hour before.

Aaron and his crew had gone to Chicago on Sunday morning and had a nice day settling down in the city, being mindful of properly resting since they were set to film with the band on Monday morning.

By the time Ella had woken up on Monday and was getting ready for a long day ahead, she had a text from Alex which consisted of a selfie of the band already in suits and on set, which funnily enough was a large farm, accompanied by a text that read 'Jamie Cook will be the camera's muse today. Miss you darling xx'

Those last words turned her into mush and a loopy smile stayed on her face as she drove to the office and then left to the site they were filming at. She sent back a picture there, when she was settled behind the cameras as the lighting crew finished setting up, a pout on her face to emphasize on her message that accompanied the picture: 'Behind the wrong cameras today :( Miss you too sweets xx'

Alex saw it about an hour after she sent it, during a break Aaron had let them have because of how hot it had gotten for them all in the tailored suits under the blazing sun that not even Chicago's wind helped them bear. He'd smiled like a fool as he went over every little detail of her face, the wrinkles in the middle of her brows as she frowned, those pretty eyes of hers almost hidden away behind her almost closed lids, the freckles he loved counting whenever he had her close perfectly showcased against her skin under the sun, her lips pink and soft in a pout that he wanted so badly to kiss away.

Alex just wanted her to be there with him, to have his arms around her and keep her close the whole time, to feel her laugh in his hold so their chests rumbled with joy together, to watch her pupils dilating as she drank with them, to have her pleading to take his picture or just sneakily taking one without him noticing, to feel the warmth of her touch all over him. To hear her call him that nickname she'd given him, sweetness, that was more her than it was him but it made him melt and maybe it was just her coming to swallow him entirely and melting him into a puddle of sweetness, all sticky like honey.

He missed her and it hurt, he ached for her presence and, if he had been already begging for the days to go by faster, now he was on his knees begging for them to fly by. He just couldn't survive anymore with just pictures and videos and those texts she sends. He needed her like he hadn't before. Because now it just wasn't something physical, it was this desperate need for a fix of her presence and how she made him feel when she was close, when she looked at him, when she laughed with him and touched him.

After that Alex had been distracted almost the whole recording of the video and when he watched as a girl stood there in front of the camera wearing the 'One For The Road' leather jacket, he couldn't help but think he was taking that with him to LA and giving it to Ella.

It seemed like Alex wasn't the only one moping around, for Ella went straight to Los Feliz the second the crew went back to the office and finished putting everything away. But she felt empty going alone into the theater yet again, and in desperate need to feel like he was there with her like how badly she wanted, she bought a ticket for a Blade Runner screening.

She sent a picture of her ticket and her melancholy slipped a little when she captioned it 'Your favorite today because I miss you and Los Feliz is looking a little dull without you here to make commentary xx'

Waking up to that made Alex feel a bit better, knowing he wasn't alone in his longing and a spark of hope ignited inside his chest. His thoughts the usual push and pull of does she, doesn't she that drove him insane on the daily.

He sang 'Arabella' and 'Do I Wanna Know?'with a lot more intent that night, as if she could hear him and answer just what he was implicitly asking.

But, of course, she wasn't listening because she wasn't in San Francisco that night.

However, being in San Francisco meant there were merely a handful more sleeps left until he got to see her and that soothed his soul. If he closed his eyes and thought hard enough, he could already feel her and hear her and breathe in her scent.

Just a few more days, Alex reminded himself every night before falling asleep—a smile on his face that stayed even throughout his dreams which were oh so coincidentally about Ella.

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Ella had been so nervous getting ready the Sunday the band arrived in Los Angeles. They'd gotten into town in the morning and they'd gone straight to the venue so that their crew could set up and they could soundcheck by noon.

She'd been wide awake since seven in the morning and tossed and turned in bed as she waited for any sign of life from Alex.

He Facetimed her almost three hours later, the second the lads had settled down in their greenroom and he could escape to the back of the venue.

"Good morning, darling." Alex greeted her the second she answered and he smiled like a right fool when he saw her still in bed, hair splayed out on her pillow and a smile that had her eyes closing.

"Good morning sweetness." She yawned softly behind her hand and rubbed her eye with her knuckles before she basically begged, "Please tell me you're here already."

His cheeks hurt from how hard he was smiling and he put his sunglasses up on top of his head to see her properly despite the sun burning his corneas, "We are. Just got settled in the greenroom and the crew is setting up the stage so we can soundcheck soon."

Ella shifted in bed to her side so she could squeal into her pillow and Alex wanted to have the ability to teleport just so he could lay over her and shower her in kisses because of how fucking adorable she was.

"Okay, I'm gonna have breakfast and get ready to head over there before rush hour." She all but jumped out of bed and Alex held his breath when he noticed which top she'd worn to sleep.

It was the Clockwork Orange top he gave her when she'd stayed with him that night of the wedding, which he had fully forgotten about. But seeing her wearing it had him feeling a rush of warmth running through his veins and he fucking loved it.

The words left him before he could even process them, "Lovely top you've got on."

He watched as a pink flush coated her cheeks and a soft string of giggles slipped past her lips, "Sorry, I'll give it back when I see you later."

But that wasn't what he wanted, no. If anything he wanted to give her whichever shirt of his she fancied if it meant he'd get to see her wearing them right after.

"No." He quickly replied, a shake of his head to ensure she got the message, "Please keep it, darling. Looks better on you anyway."

She rolled her eyes as she walked to the bathroom, getting more flustered by the second. Her bare feet on the cold wood flooring of her house helped bring her temperature down slightly but she still looked quite red when she propped him up by the sink.

"Yeah, I think I pull it off quite well." Ella cockily quipped back with a smirk on her face as she grabbed her toothbrush and toothpaste.

She was looking at herself in the mirror for a few seconds so she missed the way Alex was stuck gawking at her through the screen. It was painfully obvious she wasn't wearing a bra underneath it and it was driving him insane.

"You really do, darling." Alex managed out his agape mouth, he was almost drooling. He wanted to kiss her again so badly.

Right before she could start brushing her teeth, she said, "Right sweets, I'm gonna get ready as fast as I can yeah?"

He hummed, nodding his head like a kid which was bargaining an hour of good behavior for an ice cream cone.

"Love you, I'll see you soon." She leaned in closer to the camera and offered him a bright smile, fluttering lashes as she watched him glow under the sun.

He matched her grin and reciprocated the feeling with much more hidden passion than she knew, "Love you darling. Can't wait to see you."

A giggle escaped her as she waved at the camera and he did just the same, two seconds of a wave before she pressed the red button to end the call.

He sighed, really dreading however long it would be until he saw her, feet lazily taking him back to the greenroom where he and the lads went on to have the food and drinks on their raider.

Ella was actually rushing through everything, cooking her breakfast and practically inhaling it before heading back to the bathroom to take the quickest shower and she half assed the job of drying her hair, letting the dampness still present to air dry as she dressed and did her makeup.

In less than an hour she was out the door, throwing herself in her car and quickly backing out of her driveway to rush over to the venue.

It was a fucking joke how even at eleven in the morning, the LA traffic was still a pain in the ass. It wasn't as bad as it could really get but Ella wanted to be there already and having to wait twenty more minutes sitting in traffic on the highway was exasperating.

She smiled when she got off into Koreatown and realized they were only a few miles away from Los Feliz, thinking whether or not there would be a possibility to sneak out of the venue to at least take a stroll over there. It would have to be that very day though, because the next two shows, she'd be able to make it just in time before Pale Waves were set to start if she was going to the venue directly from work.

It took her a few minutes to park right across the venue and cross the street to where people were already gathering in a short line for the show. Arctic Monkeys - Tonight at 8PM - with support of Pale Waves - Sold Out it read on the display right below the big red letters of The Wiltern Theater, Ella smiled to herself as a wave of excitement and pride came over her and her palms started sweating in anticipation.

That was a bit shadowed when she had to walk up to the security guard in the very front of the line and say she was in the guest list, the big bulky scary man offering her a soft smile and asking her for her ID and then to wait just as he made sure she was indeed in the guest list.

She heard the muffle voice of however was talking through the radio he had in hand and she took in the curious glances of the people in line when the guard nodded, handed her ID back and opened the door for her to walk in, "To your right walk all the way down, their tour manager is waiting for you."

"Thank you," Ella said shyly, a tight lip smile and a nod was all she left the guard with before she followed the instructions and just as she'd been told, Steve was waiting for her at the end of the hallway.

"Ella!" He greeted her warmly and she smiled at him, a comforting relief coming over her at the familiar face she hadn't seen in very very long, more specifically since Glastonbury.

"Hi Steve!" She greeted just as enthusiastically and hugged him tightly, "How are you? How's tour life treating you?"

He pulled away from the hug and answered as he started walking through a maze of hallways with her beside him, "The usual, everything's fucking mental but we make it work."

"That you do." She chuckled, she'd seen a few clips here and there of the tour and it always looked absolutely incredible. She couldn't wait to hear the new songs live though.

They walked past a few doors before she managed to see the one with the latest Arctic Monkeys logo, in the same font as Black Sabbath's which she loved so much but she was surprised when Steve walked right past it.

Her mouth opened to ask where he was taking her if the greenroom was right there but he beat her to it when he said, "They're out there soundchecking right now."

It was a quarter past twelve so she nodded understandingly, and she let herself get more and more excited as they walked closer to the door by the side of the stage. And when they finally walked past those doors, she was drowned with the strumming of guitars and that soft voice she'd missed so much.

Her fingers dug into her thighs, trying to wipe the sweat off her palms on her shorts and somehow release a bit of the nerves that were cursing her but when she walked in front of the stage beside Steve and Alex's eyes fell on hers, it was like it had all disappeared.

Alex stopped mid verse, the biggest smile appearing on his face and making it impossible for him to continue. She was right there, finally. So he turned to the lads and the sound crew for a second, asking, "That sounds good right?" But not waiting for an answer at all, only nodding like he knew it was right and quickly propping his guitar up on its stand, to rush to the side of the stage and run towards her.

His arms opened as he dashed for her and she did just the same, meeting in the middle harshly, the force of their collision not even being something they acknowledge as they clinged into each other tightly, he even lifted her off the ground to spin them around once before he set her down and mumbled, "Oh darling, finally." in her ear.

"I missed you so fucking much." Ella whispered back, a knot forming in her throat when it all fell into place, this was all that she was missing.

"Me too," He said desperately, cradling her head with his right hand while the other held her tightly around her waist, "You've no idea how much."

But she could imagine, because she had missed him in such a pathetic way, every day spent thinking about what he might be doing and envious of those who got to see him on the daily, every night breathlessly calling out his name as she touched herself wishing it was him.

She pushed aside the thought of one particular night she'd bought herself a new toy and all that she'd pictured was him filling her up instead of some stupid piece of plastic, only for her actions to flood her brain so much that she dreamt about it and she was left frustrated that she couldn't fulfill her want and her needs with him.

"Ella!" Nick called out as he walked across the stage, she pulled back and smiled brightly at him, waving at him to come to her and he did just that.

Alex reluctantly let her go for the rest of the lads to hug her and Ella found herself silently shedding a few tears at the reunion.

"Missed you." She mumbled against Matt's shoulder, sniffling right after so the drummer left a bunch of kisses on her temple, hugging her tightly to him and leaving his teasing persona on the side to say, "Missed you too, Ellie."

She let go and fiddled with her fingers as she looked around the guys, "Sorry I interrupted. You guys can continue."

"Do we have to?" Alex directed the question at the sound guys and sighed in annoyance when they nodded. He knew they'd just started soundcheck merely a few minutes before but he wanted it to be over and spend as much time as he could with Ella.

"It's fine." Ella waved him off, "I'll go look for Bre. She's in the greenroom isn't she?"

Matt nodded, "Yeah, she's been waiting for you."

So it was settled then, Ella would go over to wait for them backstage and she would see her best friend after being apart for so long.

Before she could leave though, she made sure to hug them all over again like it was the last time she could. Alex reveled in the feeling of her arms over his shoulders and around his neck holding him close to her and he melted when she left a loud kiss on his cheek before she was walking away back to the greenroom.

Ella was feeling so chipper as she walked up to the greenroom, a skip in her step and a massive smile on her face. Steve had left her on her own when she assured him she remembered the way there so he could stay to watch the soundcheck. So she knocked on the door softly when she got there and she opened it slowly to be greeted by her best friend who jumped up from the settee and ran over to her.

There was barely a second to close the door behind her when Bre threw herself in Ella's arms and they squealed at them finally being reunited back home.

"Can you not leave me again? I missed you bitch!" Ella complained in Breana's ear, eyes closed and relishing in the feeling of having her best friend with her again.

"I'm sorry." Bre laughed, "Committed to the groupie life now."

Ella cackled, pulling back as she softly pushed Bre away, "Of course."

A voice coming from the left side of the room interrupted her before she could tease Breana, "Hello gorgeous."

Her head turned so quickly and she smiled sheepishly when she saw Alice standing there. That smirk of hers promising pure mischief but just as inviting as it always was.

"Allie!" Ella said as she walked up to her, wrapping her arms around the singer's waist and pulling her into a hug.

"How've you been?" Alice asked, brushing a strand of her behind Ella's ear which had her biting her tongue not to smile too hard about.

Alice and George both would forever hold the power to make her crumble in an instant with the simplest of touches. It was kind of embarrassing.

"Alright, y'know. Filming loads now, so I'm very busy. But it's just what I dreamed of, really couldn't ask for anything else."

Alice nodded, a genuine smile on her face as her eyes took in how Ella was glowing, "M'glad baby." She squeezed Ella's waist, letting her hold slowly leave her side and Ella smiled as she took one step back. "You look beautiful." Alice took her in with one slow sweep of her eyes down her figure and Ella blushed at the compliment.

Ella really didn't think her blue jean shorts, her striped button down that was tucked into them and her chelsea boots was much of a fashionable outfit. Still she gave Alice a bright grin and said, "Thank you. So do you."

Oscar and Connor walked in through the door then and they instantly recognized her and walked over to hug her hello, and then they introduced them to the last member of Pale Waves that she still hadn't had the chance to meet, their drummer, Zara.

"Hi, I'm Ella! Nice to finally meet you!" The director said, putting her hand out for Zara to shake.

"Zara," the drummer said and welcomed the gesture just as kindly but then she teased her by saying, "So you're the famous Ella..."

Ella's eyes widened ever so slightly, entirely surprised about the hint of insinuation and a tad confused, but Oscar was the one to let her know what she meant by explaining, "Alice loved your pictures so much she has a few framed and up on her walls and Zara was quite intrigued."

"Oh..." Ella let out, her cheeks burning up and the flush coming all the way down to her neck. It was so noticeable since she had the top buttons of her shirt undone and her collarbones and chest were exposed for everyone to see. "Glad you liked the pictures. I guess."

Alice snorted in laughter beside her, finding it so amusing and just as endearing that she reacted like this and Zara smirked as well, "Yeah, they were quite something. But, in all seriousness, they were really good."

At that Ella puffed her chest out slightly, pride filling up her chest and overshadowing the embarrassment, "Thank you."

They all moved to sit down in the settees and chairs available and little by little they went onto catching up on what had been happening in the past two months. Some things Ella knew from Alex's texts or what Breana had managed to let her know when she joined the lads at the start of the month.

About twenty minutes later the lads came back into the room and Ella's heart swelled in her chest when Alex took a seat beside her and wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her flush against his side. She smiled loopily and she let her head fall on his shoulder as she listened to the new conversation sparking in the room. Alex left a kiss atop of her head, breathing in her scent and closing his eyes in utter bliss.

It felt like being home.

Time went fast, one moment they'd gotten food delivered to the venue and Alex and Matt were making everyone drinks and the other, Pale Waves was about to go on stage for their forty minute set before the Monkeys.

"Are you coming out to watch us?" Alice asked Ella as one of the sound guys fixed her mic pack on the top of her skirt.

Ella nodded with a smile, "Absolutely." but Alex's hold tightening on her waist made her turn to watch him and ask, "D'you wanna come with me?"

If it was anyone else asking, he would've said no—finding nothing worse than to have to watch Alice on stage yet again—but it was Ella so he nodded without a hint of doubt, "Of course darling. Let's go to the side of the stage, yeah?"

Alice had been throwing flirty comments at Ella the whole afternoon and it had Alex grinding his teeth. Ella had been playing along here and there but she never left his side and that was the only thing he was going to focus on. They'd had their touch on each other the whole time, if it wasn't his arm around her waist, it was her fingers fiddling with his, or him playing with her hair, or her legs thrown over his lap so he held her in place with a warm hand over her knee.

They were making up for lost time and it was clear to everyone, but they kept their mouths shut for their sake. To not disturb the bubble they had created around themselves. Alice was the only one to poke it with a faint touch every time she flirted with Ella but it seemed like it was beneficial to Alex since the director would only lean into his touch every time that happened.

It was like Ella was replying with her words but subconsciously she was telling Alice how much she just wanted the man rubbing circles on her thighs.

Ella stood up and reached her hand out for Alex to grab, and when he intertwined their fingers she pulled him up to have him walk with her. After grabbing their drinks, they went over to the stage along with the band, only they stopped on the side of it and Ella marveled at the sight of that many people and the volume of the crowd the second Pale Waves stepped out.

Alex stood behind Ella to her right side, one arm thrown over her shoulders and fiddling with the collar of her shirt as they watched the band perform. Ella had a smile on her face as she sang along and Alex was surprised to hear how she knew almost every line to every song.

A screech came from Ella when the second to last song started, 'There's A Honey' was probably her favorite off their record and she was ecstatic to finally hear it live.

When it was over, she turned to look at Alex with the biggest smile, "They're so good!"

Alex reluctantly agreed with a simple nod, taking in the way her face lit up under the red lighting of the stage.

But her smile faltered when 'Came In Close' started and she turned around to watch the band again, this time entirely silent just taking in the lyrics.

The first time Ella had heard the song when she played the full record, days after she got back home from her trip to the UK, she'd instantly made the connection of it to Alex and it was one of them things she couldn't really shake.

The same way it was hard to listen to The Strokes after Julian, the same way she couldn't listen to Highlight of my Life by Dolly Parton without feeling that pinch to her chest from her first heartbreak.

Ella sighed to herself when the set ended and Alice thanked everyone for coming, giving a brief shoutout to the Monkeys for having them on tour. She just hoped Alex hadn't caught onto that, especially because it was just sending her into a pathetic spiral.

Is it a sign? She wondered with a soft frown on her face.

"Y'alright?" Alex asked as she turned around, ready to leave.

"Yeah, yeah." Ella quickly muttered, taking a gulp of her still half full cup. "Let's go." She got a hold of his wrist and tugged him to walk beside her back to the greenroom.

The lads still had 30 minutes left until they had to go on stage so Ella wanted to just spend it in their presence, considering she only really had those three days with them and then they'd be gone again until December.

An overly hyper Alice and Oscar ran up to the pair and quickly started asking Ella if she liked their set, the American nodded eagerly and pointed out her favorite parts, accentuating how happy she was to hear her favorite song of theirs live.

When they got back, the energy buzzing through Alice and her bandmates was palpable in the air, so the lads turned to see them walk into the room with a smile on their faces.

"How was it?" Jamie was the one to ask, seeing Pale Waves touring with them and their reactions to the masses that gathered in front of them every night of tour reminded him of the Monkeys when they had just started and it was nostalgic and endearing.

Zara whistled in awe, "Fucking brilliant."

Oscar nodded, walking straight towards the table filled with drinks, "Honestly, amazing crowd."

"It's Los Angeles, baby, of course it is." Ella said proudly, lifting her cup in the air and throwing a wink on Alice's way.

Alice winked back and blew her a kiss, one that Alex rolled his eyes at as Ella hid her blushy cheeks behind the glass while she finally drank the last of her cocktail.

Matt stood up then and with a chipper tone in his voice, he suggested, "Right so... another round of margaritas?"

Everyone nodded, Pale Waves wanted to celebrate yet another successful night and the lads wanted to continue letting loose knowing that it was their turn to go up on stage in about half an hour.

So Matt and Alex took over, with a little help from Connor, and just like that everyone was cheering to an incredible night five minutes later.

The group had gotten caught up in lively chatter as they waited, but before they even realized, time had flown right past them and the lads were snatched from the greenroom and instructed to go up on stage.

Bre and Ella ran out to join the crowd in the GA floor area and they cheered just as loud as everyone around them when the band walked in on stage. The stage looked stunning, and she thought about just how hot it would get from the hard lights. She couldn't even imagine how much it would be on the lads considering Alex, Jamie and Nick were wearing blazers and long sleeve button ups.

If Ella had been amazed at the crowd's volume during Pale Waves' set, then she was absolutely mindblown when 'Do I Wanna Know?' started and the screams were deafening. The walls shook with the bass and the sneer of the drums, each strum of the guitars reverberated in her chest and she swore she could feel the floor shaking beneath her feet when Alex started singing.

Ella was entirely entranced by it all, she had missed seeing them on stage after months and the wonder never withered away. There was a feeling bubbling up inside her that she was sure wasn't due to the pair of cocktails she'd nursed earlier, though she really hoped she would have blamed it on it. When Alex found her in the back of the crowd, the feeling multiplied and Ella felt almost dizzy from it.

It was like Alex tried his best to steer away from Ella but his eyes were magnetized to her almost throughout the whole show, and not only the guys but also Breana noticed the change in Alex's demeanor compared to past shows. He was smiling so much as he sang, his gaze swimming through the crowd to end up looking at her and there was something laced around his words that showed especially when he sang those tunes he'd written with Ella in mind.

He'd raised his eyebrows and smirked at her right before they started 'Teddy Picker' and his eyes looked pleading as he stared at her when he sang 'Arabella'—Ella had been left breathless when he sang the bridge and didn't move his gaze from her, her eyes stuck on his mouth and the way it grazed the mic with every word as the sweat dripped down the sides of his face and his neck, unable to stop watching how he brushed his hair back to keep it from sticking to his forehead.

She and Bre went absolutely crazy with the crowd at the end of 'Do Me A Favour?' and Ella was a mess of giggles when Alex teased the crowd as he introduced their last song, 'R U Mine?'

Ella had her eyes stuck watching the way Alex's fingers swiftly moved up on the neck of his guitar, not even a glance down to where to place them as he sang with his eyes half lidded. She bit her lip while she watched his hips sway to the song, a smoothness to every one of his moves that had her mind going places.

It had been a fright when a fan managed to go on stage and grabbed the setlist from its place on the floor of the stage, she'd gasped seeing a security guard chase the teenager and catch him right behind Nick, but she'd eventually laughed at the band staying cool and unbothered at the situation.

The walls rumbled with the intensity of the voices that sang along the last chorus and it was an incredible buzz that lingered in the air like a charged cloud ready to thunder down when the guys waved as they left the stage, Alex blowing kisses and throwing peace signs in thanks to the audience for their attendance.

Trying their best to make their way through the crowd, Ella and Bre managed to go backstage again, flashing their AAA passes and when they walked past the doors and saw the lads slowly walking back to the greenroom, they took off to hug them.

Bre jumped on Matt's back, who instinctively grabbed the backs of her thighs and managed to stabilize himself as the model attacked the side of his face with chaste kisses. And Ella had ran into Alex's back, slamming into him with an oof and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist.

"That was fucking incredible!" Ella squealed in excitement, her eyes glimmering with admiration that Alex got to see when he unwrapped Ella's arms from him to pull her to his side and throw his arm over her shoulders.

Alex smiled wide down at her, leaning in to leave a kiss on her temple, "Did you like it?"

Ella scrunched up her nose at him at the kiss, letting herself take in the feeling of his lips on her before nodding and saying, "Loved it!" Her fingers squeezed at his waist softly as she added, "Thank you for keeping my favorite in the setlist."

He hummed with a smirk on his face, "I couldn't ever take it off, especially not if you're in attendance."

He winked at her and her cheeks were quickly dusted with a pink flush. It filled him with warmth seeing her blush at him again, he had missed that so much.

But his reminiscing was changed for surprise when she leaned into his ear and whispered, "Good boy." before leaving his side and throwing herself at Jamie, ruffling the guitarist's hair and congratulating him for being amazing and effortlessly pulling off the War Pigs riff by the end of the song.

Alex was left stupefied by that for a few minutes, not really knowing how to act anymore after that. He just wanted to walk up to her and interrupt her conversation with Jamie to kiss her hard and take her somewhere else. He wanted her all to himself.

Unfortunately, that wasn't possible. Not when they had to stay for an hour in the greenroom to ride out the adrenaline running through them after the show, whilst they waited for the crew to pack things up and leave their gear in order for the gig the next day.

When Steve came back to let them know they could leave, Pale Waves were the first to take a cab to the hotel they were all staying at. They'd said goodbye to Ella and she'd promised to be back to see them the next day.

So Ella, Bre and the lads slowly walked out the back of the venue towards the exit where their tour team was waiting for them to say what they were doing next.

Matt gestured towards Steve to give them a few minutes so that the group could figure it out, Alex and Jamie deciding to have a cigarette as they spoke and offering their packs up for anyone else who wanted a smoke.

Ella plucked one out from Alex's pack, and she thanked Jamie when he lit it up for her.

"Where are you staying?" She curiously asked them, taking a long drag of smoke.

Nick shrugged, barely remembering the area it was at, "Some fancy hotel on Sunset Strip."

"Oh..." Ella nodded, her brows raised at the mention of the neighborhood. She was intrigued so she thought about it aloud, just throwing a question into the air, "Is it the Edition?"

And to Ella's luck, she guessed correctly. "Yep, that one." Bre smirked in confirmation, she couldn't believe it when the band's tour bus drove past there and Steve had told them they'd be staying there.

The director whistled funnily in amazement, "Fucking hell. Record's doing quite well then."

Jamie and Alex snorted out a laugh, their heads shaking side to side at Ella's tone. But Matt scoffed, "Why wouldn't it?"

"Alright, Helders." Ella rolled her eyes, the smoke slipping past her lips as she spoke, "Forgot you've got a big ass head."

The drummer smirked and quickly joked by replying, "Next time ask Bre so you don't forget." ending it with a wink that made Ella dramatically frown and gag.

"You're disgusting..." She pointed at him with the lit up end of her cig, and then she sighed in exasperation, "That's my cue. I'm going."

"This early?" Alex let out instantly, a tinge of sadness in his voice.

Ella was sure it was way past eleven, since the last time she'd checked her phone was a while ago and it was a quarter to eleven, so she pulled out her phone and the screen showed her a horrendous 11:47 pm.

"It's almost midnight." She pouted, she still had to drive a whole fifty minutes back to her house and she was fucking knackered.

"The night is young!" Bre exclaimed as if that was going to convince her, she prayed Ella could see the 'call in sick for work tomorrow and come with us!' written all over her face.

It filled Ella with sorrow to be logical and actually take her responsibilities into consideration, "I've got work tomorrow and I'm driving home."

Bre winced silently when she realized how far Ella's was from the venue so she nodded sadly but understanding the situation.

To Ella's left though, Alex let his jaw drop slightly at the piece of information and a soft gasp came from him before he scolded her, "Darling, why'd you have those margaritas then?!"

Ella chuckled at him and waved him off, "Oh I only had two and it's been a while. I'm completely sober, I promise."

"You sure?" Alex asked seriously, not a hint of amusement on his face.

She nodded in confirmation at the same time as Nick offered, "You can always stay with us."

"Making you get another room just because yous want me to go out for drinks? No." She loved them and they were some of her closest friends but she wouldn't at all consider being that much of a burden not only to them but to their team. Accepting to have them spend money on a hotel room for her when she was just an hour away from home was silly and embarrassing.

And, of course, Matt took the opportunity to be a dickhead for he shrugged and suggested, "You can always share a room with someone."

"Matthew, don't." Ella glared at him with a fury that the drummer wasn't expecting, he had to press his lips together to not ask why the sudden intensity, but he didn't even get the chance because Ella took one last drag of her cigarette and then turned to her right to say goodbye, "Okay, that's it. Goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow."

She gave hugs around, all warm and with intent, and whispered goodbyes and love yous in their ears. When it got to Alex, she clutched him the tightest and kissed his cheek.

"Same time?" Matt asked from behind her since she was still hugging Alex.

"Later, unfortunately." Ella sighed out with a hint of sorrow, "Coming straight from the office once I'm done with work."

Alex wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her in and left a quick kiss on her temple before assuring her, "S'alright. As long as you're here, darling."

She turned to offer him a sweet smile and confirmed, "I will certainly be."

A breathy and soft "Good." was what Alex replied before letting her go and she took a few steps before turning around and blowing everyone a kiss, "Love you guys." She saw the nearest exit and waved them goodbye before quickly walking out of the venue with a loud and cheery, "See ya'!"

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

She had tried her best to leave early, but she'd been caught up in a long meeting with Ben, Aaron and a few other people from Universal Music who had come over to the office to talk about signing a contract with Focus Creeps for a year.

It was exciting, the creative liberty they were offering alongside the good pay and the opportunity to work with multiple artists, but she kept glancing down at the time on her phone and it was annoying how every time five minutes seemed to pass like lightning.

When she had finally shook the hands of the reps and wished them farewell after she, Ben and Aaron had finally signed the contract, it had been half past six so she knew she'd be caught in horrendous traffic on the way there.

By the time she managed to find a spot in the parking lot across the street from the venue, she knew she'd missed Pale Waves' set. Thankfully, it was the same guard as the day before who stood at the door and he quickly let her inside.

She was power walking to the greenroom, a sliver of guilt threading through her ribs up her chest for being so late, so much so that the "Hello!" she offered everyone, just as she walked through the door after knocking three times, came out a little shy and strangled.

A loud "Ella!" was heard in chorus as everyone turned to the door to see her walk in.

Before she could even hug Bre who was right by the door with her camera in hand, seemingly having been about to take a picture, Ella turned to Zara and Alice who were standing across the room and apologized, "I'm so sorry. I missed your set, didn't I?"

Oscar, who Ella hadn't noticed was right beside her, threw his arm around her shoulders and sighed, "Yeah, we just came back in about ten minutes ago."

"Fucks sake." She let her shoulders drop in dismay and mumbled another curse under her breath to then point out, "Traffic was horrendous."

Alice waved her off with a quick, "S'alright." and a lighthearted wink and to make that frown disappear from her face, the singer offered, "Do you want a drink?"

Ella leaned into Oscar's hold to side hug him before leaving his side and going up to Bre to say hello. When she pulled back from hugging her best friend, she shook her head, "No, sorry I'm driving again and I don't think I'll sober up in time if I do."

The rest of the group held her tightly when she went up to hug them hello and she ended up plopping down on the settee next to Alex when she was done.

"How was work today?" Alex ask her genuinely, he had texted her earlier when the lads had agreed on going with him for lunch in Los Feliz and he'd send Ella a selfie along with a 'We're just missing you x' to which Ella had replied with a sad face and a promise to be at the venue as soon as she could.

She sighed as her day flashed through her mind in a sped up reel, "The usual, calls and emails to answer, projects to go over. Although, we did sign a year-long contract with UMG just an hour ago."

"Universal Music?" Zara asked with a brow raised, Alice looking at her with wide eyes beside the drummer.

A hint of blush came to Ella's face when she nodded, "Yep."

Bre squeaked and ran behind the settee to hug Ella from behind, keeping her in a loving chokehold as she pressed kisses on her cheek, "Congratulations!"

The rest of the group followed, congratulating Ella with chipper voices as she was now stuck in Breana and Alex's hold. Ella said "Thank you." between giggles and when Bre finally let go and Alex stopped squeezing her in his arms, she turned to Jamie and Nick who were sitting across from her and pointed out, "Oh I saw the editing department halfway done with 'One For The Road' earlier! It looks so good."

"Does it?" Alex teased as he headbutted her softly.

She chuckled lightly and added, "Yes! Y'all looked beautiful."

A loud snort came from the left side of the room, from Matt to be exact. He had a smirk on his face and repeated, "Beautiful?" as he found Ella's choice of an adjective to be hilarious and slightly thinking she was taking the piss.

"Oh what, is that not sitting well with you?" Ella scowled, she had actually meant it because from the clips she'd seen, they did look amazing. So she scoffed, trying to think of some other word that would appease the drummer, "What do you want me to say? You looked fit?"

Matt lifting up his beer bottle as in a cheers to that, had Ella rolling her eyes,"Now that's more like it."

"We need to get you back in England, darling." Alex joked further, his fingers pinching her waist, making her jolt in her place.

With a faint hit to his arm, she just said, "Oh shush." and just turned her attention back on Breana to ask, "D'you wanna go up to the balcony with me today?"

"Absolutely babe." Bre nodded with a big smile on her face, "That'll be fun."

"You're gonna get a good view that's for sure." Jamie pointed out. They'd gone up to the balcony the day before when they'd just gotten to the venue and he thought about how cool it must look during the show with all the lights and the crowd down on the floor.

"Counting on it." Ella quipped back as she straightened up on her seat, about to get up and leave the room with Bre, but she looked at Alex once more and she took the time to fully take in how he looked.

There was a hint of a smirk on her face when she said, "You look good." He looked fucking stunning, "I like this blazer." Her fingers traced down the lapel of the sparkly red blazer he had on, but her eyes went further down and properly stared at every detail of him.

She found herself thinking I also like this golden chain and this black shirt and how you've not buttoned it up completely, and those black jeans and that belt with the big buckle.

Alex grinned at her while she kept gawking down at him, she was entranced by the big golden buckle of his belt and he felt a tingle rushing to every nerve ending of his body.

"My eyes are up here, darling." He teased her, eyes not leaving her until she glanced back up at him with pink cheeks that she didn't let him really admire because she all but jumped up from beside him.

"Shut up." Ella called out, her gaze falling on her best friend so she didn't see the way everyone in the room was snickering and holding in their teasing laughter.

Without giving her much of an option, Ella grabbed Breana by the wrist and pulled her so that she could walk with her out of the room, "Bre let's go." And right before they could walk past the door, she turned around and said, "Bye boys. Break a leg."

The show started shortly after Ella and Bre had managed to settle in two of the seats up on the left side balcony, and just like the previous night, it had been fucking incredible.

They weren't sure how it was possible but the crowd sounded a bit louder this night and it was blowing them away.

It was so crazy from the second the first guitar strum of 'Do I Wanna Know?' hit everyone's ears, Ella and Bre's hearts were racing at the feeling of the floor shaking beneath their feet—it felt like the mezzanine was going to collapse.

When Alex found her, just a song before 'Teddy Picker', he winked at her and her stomach flooded with butterflies that had her heart racing more than the adrenaline rushing throughout the crowd.

And Alex only managed to have Ella's heart rate stuttering even more when he pointed at her as he sang 'The horizon tries but it's just not as kind on the eye'.

She bit her tongue about it for the rest of the show, only letting the feeling take over her and releasing it when she and Bre hollered along with the crowd.

"I don't get how you do it." Ella said breathlessly in Alex's ear when she got back to the greenroom after the show had ended.

Alex clutched her tightly around the waist, taking a deep breath and relishing in her scent and the feeling of her skin on his fingertips, the way their bodies molded together and swelled his chest.

He hummed back at her in confusion and once he pulled back to look at her, he actually asked, "What?"

"Putting on such great shows days in a row." Ella exclaimed like it was obvious, she was in awe and it showed like a gleam through her eyes and her unwavering smile.

Alex shrugged and before he could properly think about it, the words let loose and slipped past his lips, "These shows are for you. I have to."

Ella just couldn't not react to his words, her cheeks lit up in flames that washed all over her and she let her face fall on its side on his chest so she could hide from him as she mumbled a whiney, "Alex." almost like she was scolding him for saying stuff like that.

"What?" His chest rumbled with a giggle beneath her cheek and his hand came to cradle the back of her head, fingers brushing through her hair as he silently instructed her to look at him.

She did, a bit apprehensive since she knew her blush was still noticeable on her face but he delighted on the view. A soft smile tugged at the corner of his lips, his hand coming to cup her jaw when he asked, "Are you staying for a little longer?"

Her answer was a soft "Yeah." which sounded almost like a little squeak, her voice getting stuck in her throat from the tenderness of his touch and the memory of those kisses they shared months before coming to the forefront of her mind.

It burned. The desperate need to close the distance and feel his lips on hers again, a need that shifted into more when she let her mind rush with all that she fantasized when it came to him.

But she had no clue if it was okay or if it would be cruel on herself to let her get another taste when it would just be snatched away from her just as fast.

She sighed in despair and only allowed her lips to pucker up and leave a chaste kiss on the palm of his hand to take a short step back and create a bit of distance between them. It would be too challenging to stay this close to him and not do a thing.

"Next time please don't do your shows on a weekday, sweets." She tried to chuckle, to make it a lighthearted joke but she actually was so sad over the fact that she just couldn't try to spend more time with them after or before the show.

If there was the possibility of leaving with them, even if just to take the show's after party to a bar, then she knew she would gain the courage to act up on everything she'd been thinking about since she left. But she had to get to work at eight in the morning the next day and it was only half an hour until the clock struck midnight and she'd have to leave by then if she wanted to be a proper human being at the office the next morning.

"I know." Alex winced, his heart going through a weird tumble of feelings from the kiss she pressed on his skin and the way she stepped away from him right after. "Sorry."

Instantly, she shook her head at his apology, "S'not your fault, silly." And then she took a moment to really look at him and there was a hint of sadness written on his face that crushed her and she just had to step back in his arms.

"I can't believe you're leaving me again tomorrow." Ella mumbled into his shoulder, her hair tickling Alex's neck and making goosebumps cover every inch of his skin.

His fingers dug a bit more into the clothed flesh of her waist where he held her tightly against him, "Don't mention it."

There was a slight strain to his voice that could be more attributed to him getting upset than having sang for an hour just a mere few minutes before, so she pulled back to see his face, "Are you gonna cry?"

"Maybe." He hid behind a joke, with a crooked smile that mirrored on her face.

A bubbly laugh came from her, the wrinkles on the corners of her eyes showing as she smiled brighter, "You're adorable."

Alex wanted so badly to let it all out, but they were in a corner of the greenroom and obnoxiously surrounded by their friends so he didn't really think it would be that much of a great idea to let his heart bleed out for her at that very moment.

So he settled for kissing her cheek and telling her, "Love you." and it worked to soothe that need to bare his soul to her even just a little bit.

"Love you too." Ella reciprocated with ease, a whirlwind of emotions rushing through her whenever she heard him say those words and whenever she could utter them to him. It felt so much better to hear it and say it in person than it did through text or a call.

The two went back into the center of the room, finally deciding to join their friends after Alex grabbed himself another beer bottle, Ella sticking to a can of Coke that would hopefully help her stay up a little longer.

She wanted to cry thinking about the almost hour-long drive back to her house.

Connor and Oscar were going on and on about the hotel and how heavenly the beds were, and how the views to the Hollywood hills were to die for, until they started arguing about how Oscar snored way too much that he kept him up most of the night so he had to go smoke out on the balcony and he fell asleep in one of the chairs there.

The bickering was hilarious and the story went from that to Pale Waves sharing the worst nights on tour they'd ever had.

Even Alex found himself laughing at some of the anecdotes, though it was mostly because he felt so relaxed and allowed himself to enjoy every bit of the moment with Ella playing with his fingers as she attentively listened and laughed.

Alice and Oscar were trying to remember one particular night in Japan, from the first time they'd played a gig there, and the room had fallen into a softer chatter so Alex leaned into Ella's shoulder to mumble into her ear, "You know... There's someone coming tomorrow."

The sudden tease made her curious self perk up and she turned around to solely focus on Alex to ask, "Who?"

But Alex was in the mood to taunt her, for he shrugged and replied nonchalantly with a frustrating, "Can't say, it's a surprise."

Her mouth fell agape slowly at the nerve he had to leave her intrigued like that so she hissed through her teeth, "Alex! No, you can't do that."

Her frustration only grew when he puffed his chest out and proudly quipped, "Well, I'm doing it."

She huffed and squirmed in her seat like a child about to throw a tantrum, "Do I know them?"

Feeling just a bit kind, Alex genuinely replied "Yes." to offer her a small hint.

"Who is it?!" She didn't have the mind to try and guess at the moment, the only answer coming straight to her mind was a certain scouser she hadn't seen in months. "Is it Miles?"

And yet again, Alex shrugged, "I dunno."

Her teeth caught the tip of her tongue to bite down on it so she wouldn't groan loudly, "Alexander David Turner." She recited easily in a scorn, one that he took so lightly he let out a chesty laugh that brought Bre's attention to them for a brief moment.

Ella narrowed her eyes on Alex and she pointed out, "It better not be Miles because if he's visiting and hasn't told me, I'm gonna be fuming."

Just as she had been texting the Monkeys whilst they were away, Ella found herself chatting with Miles as much as they could. He was touring the album he had put out in earlier June and it was always nice to catch up with him whenever there was a chance in between their responsibilities.

Aled raised his brows and feigned complete seriousness, "Right."

The sarcasm in the single word had Ella rolling her eyes, "If it is, I have warned you."

And Alex played along to egg her on a bit more, "Sure, I'll let him know."

"So it is Miles!" She gasped out loud, feeling betrayed that the scouser hadn't told her anything about being in LA when they had been on the phone to each other about a week before.

"Lips are sealed." Alex said with a gesture that he was zipping his mouth shut.

"I hate you." Ella replied with a huff, crossing her arms and straightening in her seat so she stared ahead at the wall of the room instead of her best friend.

That comment gave him the perfect opportunity to just keep pushing her buttons so he menacingly crowded her space to say, "You weren't saying that a minute ago." in a low tone that made Ella's stomach flip.

She puffed out a breath of annoyance, trying her best to conceal the fact that the words went straight down between her legs. And it worked because he laughed and hugged her, fully missing the flash of lust that shadowed the hazel green of her eyes for a few seconds. Lust that disappeared instantly when his fingers came to poke her on the ribs before he started tickling her.

She stood stiff for a fraction of a second before she screeched out and squirmed in his hold, trying to crawl away from him but he hooked an arm around her middle so she couldn't escape.

"No! Don't!" She squealed out, moving around like a damn worm and her arms pressing on his chest to try and create some distance between them, but he was stronger than her.

Alex gave her a chance, stopping his actions to challenge her, "What was it then? You hate me?"

She really didn't want to be tickled again but she wanted to mess with him some more so she meekly replied, "Yes." and it wasn't a surprise that he resumed his attack. "Love you, love you! Sorry!" She desperately replied with a cackle, and more giggles came from her for the few seconds it took him to stop, "Fucks sake!"

Ella was trying to act like that had annoyed her, a faux frown on her face made Alex laugh breathlessly and he dropped a sweet brief kiss on the skin of her neck, just below her jaw, before he proudly reciprocated the sentiment, "Love you too."

The laugh that came from her was involuntary but she couldn't help it when the warmth that filled her insides made her feel so good.

The look Jamie gave them when their attention turned back to the conversation the rest of the group was having, said a million things that Ella just wanted to ignore at the moment so she flipped him off with a loving smile. Jamie chuckled to himself and turned back around with a shake of his head—he wondered when it'd be that they would do something about whatever they had going on because he was about to place bets with Matt and Nick about it.

Zara was in the middle of a horror story about a night she'd almost gotten her gear stolen when she was loading up after a gig when Ella turned to Alex and whispered, "So you're playing 505 tomorrow then?"

Alex looked at her with a frown, completely taken aback by the sudden question. But she found herself thinking about who it could be and since they hadn't done 505 yet, she thought it made sense that Miles would be coming to play 505 with them the following night since it was their last LA show.

"Well Miles is coming in as a surprise, isn't it? So you're doing 505." She was almost entirely sure it would be happening so she was growing excited to hear the song with Miles on stage as well. It had been absolutely magical in Glastonbury.

It took Alex a second to realize that she was still thinking about who he'd been talking about, so he chuckled under his breath and continued playing into the mysteriousness of it all, "You're not getting anything out of me."

"Rude." Ella scoffed, rolling her eyes and shaking his head at him.

Alex laughed again, wrapping his arm around her waist to pull her closer to his side and agreed with her, "The worst."

The sarcasm in his tone had Ella giggling, but his thumb started rubbing soft circles on her stomach over the fabric of her shirt and she found herself melting into him—head resting on his shoulder, almost hidden away in the crook of his neck and he rested his head right over hers.

Once again, she waited until they were leaving too to make her way back to the car and go back home. It was a bit over midnight and she kept yawning so there were many double checks as she hugged everyone goodbye to see if she was sure she could drive back home without falling asleep behind the wheel.

She swore she was fine and Alex had made her promise to send a text when she got home, and she did just that as she crossed the threshold of her front door and, after locking up, she walked to her room with her eyes locke on the phone and typed her promised text with one hand, sending it just before she got ready for bed.

(01/10/2013 01:21) Made it safe and sound. Say hello to Miles for me if he's already gotten here, I'll see him tomorrow. Love you sweets! Goodnight x

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Ella was sure that the second she pushed the door open, Miles would be standing there with that smile of his and his arms open ready for Ella to crush him in a hug.

But when the door creaked and showed the inside of the greenroom, Josh Homme was standing by the drinks table chatting with Nick and Ella was entirely shocked.

"Oh my god." She squeaked out, turning around to scowl at the singer who was standing right behind her, "Alex!"

Alex cackled at her reaction and further taunted her by letting out a cheeky, "Surprise!"

The familiar sound of Alex's laughter was enough to have Josh turning around to greet the person Alex had excused himself to escort into the venue.

Josh had a great memory and, even though he hadn't seen her face since that day at Rancho de la Luna, her name came easily back to his mind, "Ella right?"

Ella matched the grin the legendary rockstar had on his face and a breathless "Yeah." was her answer.

"Sorry, I didn't know if I was remembering correctly." Josh joked sweetly, coming up to her to give her a brief hug.

"No, yeah. I'm Ella." She replied in his quick embrace, "Nice to see you again after so long Mr. Homme."

He pulled a funny face at Ella's choice of words and waved her off for the formalities, "Oh please Ella, I told you it's Josh. We're friends."

"Right. Of course." Ella nodded, still in disbelief he remembered her name and let alone considered her a friend.

Josh laughed a little at her dumbfounded expression and pointed out, "She's cute."

Ella blushed at the comment and slowly moved back beside Alex, the gears in her head moving quickly and coming to a conclusion, "Wait, does this mean you're doing Knee Socks with them tonight?"

Josh raised his brows and pointed at her, "Smart girl."

Alex proudly threw his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder softly as if in a silent way of saying 'good job', "We are, yes."

A massive grin broke on her face in anticipation to that, "Oh people are gonna go fucking insane." She could almost hear the crowd going wild the second they saw Josh walking on the stage.

She looked around the room and when she found Breana, she inquired about their plan for the night, "What are we doing today Bre? Floor again?"

Bre nodded, "Yes please, I thought the balcony was gonna collapse last night and with Josh here tonight, it might as well give out this time."

Ella couldn't wait, she was so excited for tonight but she also wanted it to last forever. She was dreading having to say goodbye once more. She didn't want to.

Suddenly, she noticed the absence of the Pale Waves group and her heart dropped, "Where's Alice and Zara and the lads?" Thinking about having missed their set again had her freezing in her spot.

Alex noticed her tense under his touch so he quickly let her know, "Getting ready in their greenroom. They're about to go on."

"Oh, thank god. Thought I had missed them again." Her shoulders sagged in relief, she would've felt so awful if she had missed her last chance to see them before they left.

Of course, Alex took the opportunity to take a dig at Alice, "You know that wouldn't be that bad."

"Alex!" She elbowed him lightly in response, calling him out by saying, "Don't be an ass."

Josh laughed at the way Alex folded slightly into her and groaned in fake pain, noticing the way Ella blushed when she heard the sound coming from Alex and the proximity her attack had caused. He smirked and made a mental note to ask Alex about it since he hadn't mentioned he was coming to get his girlfriend.

Instead of being nosy right then, Josh asked, "Is that the opener band you're talking about?"

Ella perked up and smiled, "Yes, Pale Waves! Wanna come with me and Bre to see their set?"

"Sure."

"Amazing, let's go!" She all but jumped out of Alex's hold and ran to Bre, intertwining her fingers so that it was easier to pull her along with her as she walked out of the greenroom.

When they left the room, they could see Alice and Oscar by the end of the hallway and almost getting to the door that led them to the stairs on the side of the stage. So Ella led the way, power walking down the concrete floors and rushing out to stand on the side of the stage just as Alice picked up her guitar and strummed it to start the first song.

It had been so much fun dancing and singing with Bre, Josh nodding his head along the bass and complimenting Zara's skilled drumming that certainly brought so much to the songs. Unfortunately their set wasn't as long as she would've liked but she'd enjoyed it so much, she almost jumped into Alice's arms when she walked out of the stage by the end of the set.

When they all went back to the Monkeys' greenroom, Pale Waves settled in two of the settees and Josh joined them as they talked about the album they were currently recording.

Time went by faster than ever and before they could notice, the Monkeys were being called up on stage. Bre and Ella walked beside them up until they went up the stairs, so the girls ran to the further left side of the crowd and stood at the very back with excitement making them jump up and down in their places.

Even though it was the third time Ella was watching this show, the feeling that drowned the room when the lights that formed 'AM' went on and the band walked on stage, was still the same as the very first time. 'Do I Wanna Know?' as the opener song to the show was brilliant, the bass reverberating on everyone's chests and the guitars' rumbles shaking the walls made for an incredible experience and the best introduction to what the show would be like.

When 'Snap Out of It' died down and Alex thanked the hollering crowd, Ella was ready to scream along every line of 'Evil Twin', her hand clutching Bre's so they could dance around together as they reminisced about the filming of that very music video being how they met, but instead of the b-side, the starting heavy bass notes to a song she loved very much from 'Suck It and See' managed to get a gasp out of her.

There was a desperate conviction behind every line Alex sang, accentuating every one of the words that composed 'Reckless Serenade' in perfection. Ella sang her heart out, and despite turning to Bre to scream the lyrics at each other, her gaze ended up stuck on Alex and how amazing he looked on stage.

He was wearing a sparkly blazer again, only this one was black and it went incredibly well with the rest of his black outfit. The golden big buckle of his belt and the thin golden chain around his neck were the things that stood out against the dark clothes. Ella felt a wild fluttering in her stomach every time she took a glance at him.

With it being the last show in LA, hearing Alex sing 'Arabella' had her head spinning and she almost wished she could be drinking so every one of her wild thoughts could be justified on the alcohol in her system.

By the time 'Fluorescent Adolescent' finished with a deafening cheer from the crowd, Bre and Ella held each other with big smiles on their faces, they knew 'Knee Socks' was next and their eyes fell on the people around and in front of them for their reactions when Alex announced the song.

The atmosphere lit up and blew into hysterical exhilaration the second Josh walked into the stage, with a microphone in hand. His voice added even more to the already beautiful vocals from the lads on stage and it was certainly an experience.

When the band walked out of the stage before the encore, the volume of the crowd got impossibly louder, everyone begging for another song and chanting their pleas for the band to come back on. Ella had been to football games before and it was crazy to think this was just as loud as the crowds in those events.

The encore was three songs long with 'R U Mine?' closing the gig for good, and once again, the girls relished in the rush of adrenaline that buzzed through them as they slowly walked out of the crowd and to the backstage area.

Bre ran into the arms of her boyfriend the second they got to the greenroom, and Ella had a loopy smile on her face as she took in every last second of the whole thing.

Josh walked up to her and asked her about his cameo during 'Knee Socks' and she gladly went on about how much she'd enjoyed it and how insane the crowd's reaction was. Pale Waves had been watching the whole show as well, but from the side of the stage so they piped into the description of the sea of people jumping throwing their hands up the second Josh walked onto the stage.

Since the guys had to be in San Diego the very next day, their crew amped up on their efforts to pack everything up and they'd ended up having to leave the venue a bit over eleven in the evening. It was far too soon, and Ella wanted to cry about it but the lads purposely had walked slower out to the back of the venue and when they got there, Jamie made sure to ask for ten more minutes.

Ten minutes that flew past their unaware heads, and only realized they had gone by when Steve sighed out a sorrowful, "We really need to go lads."

Steve knew why they were putting it off, the reason had a first and last name, and he couldn't blame them at all but they really needed to get to San Diego as soon as they could and time was running out.

Alex didn't miss the sad sigh Ella let out and how her shoulders fell as well as the corners of her lips. She pouted as she took it upon herself to make the tough decision of saying goodbye, walking up to Jamie first to envelope him in a sweet hug.

She slowly made her way around the group and just as she was letting go of Matt, she asked nobody in particular "You're back in December right?" since Arctic Monkeys and Pale Waves would remain touring together until their holiday break.

When her arms wrapped tightly over Alex's shoulder, the drummer replied, "Yeah, we finish the tour on the west coast mid December."

A hum of bliss came from her right before she pulled away from her best friend's embrace and she assured, looking straight into Alex's eyes, "Okay. I'll see you in a few months then."

Behind her, Bre reminded her, "I'm coming back next month."

To which Ella turned around with a challenging point of her finger at the model, "Yeah, you better because then you're leaving me for the holidays too."

Bre pouted as if to apologize without words. She felt bad she was leaving Ella alone this year since she wasn't going to Tennessee for the holidays that year, work too close to the important dates to even manage a week in her hometown and she knew she'd get homesick if she rushed her visit. But the model was going to spend the festive season with Matt and his family and she just couldn't not go.

"Sorry babe." Bre apologized just half heartedly, and Ella assured her she was half joking with a blown kiss.

"Alright everyone, this is it. I'll be looking forward to seeing you soon." Ella said before she could properly leave, a weight falling on her shoulders that almost made breathing a little harder, like it was pressing right over her ribs and lungs.

But before she could turn around and walk away, Alex offered, "Do you want me to walk you over to your car?"

Ella froze in her place. She had not wanted anything more than to have some time alone with Alex but it being just when they were about to be snatched apart felt so cruel, she quickly pointed out, "It's across the street in that parking lot building. You sure it won't be an issue? Steve is calling you."

Something deep inside her filled with a flash of happiness when he shrugged and took a step closer to her, "He will live."

"Okay." It was merely a mumble, a heat creeping up her chest and her neck and threatening to dust her cheeks with pink blush, one that she hoped wasn't visible when she turned to her side to wave everyone one final goodbye and then start leading the way with Alex in tow.

They silently walked next to each other, a comfortable silence they both had missed so much and that they found themselves already longing for. He had slipped his hand into hers and intertwined their fingers together the second their skin brushed. He wasn't going to miss the opportunity of having something he knew he found himself wanting on the daily and not take the chance to feel it.

The walk to the side exit wasn't long so Ella was the one to slow down her steps to make sure the moment lasted even a few more seconds longer, and she smiled when he caught exactly what she was doing and went along with her slow pace.

What they weren't expecting though, was the long queue of fans waiting behind the fence that lined the venue. Fans who screeched loudly into the air at the sudden sight of Alex.

"Oh shit." Ella cursed loudly, completely startled, clutching onto Alex's hand the tiniest bit tighter from the fright.

Alex was dumbfounded by the amount of people standing there with posters and CDs in hand, sharpies ready for him to go up and snatch away to sign all the memorabilia the people wanted, "They're still here?"

There was a slight hint of annoyance in his voice that she found amusing so she quipped, "They're dedicated." as if to make him giggle a little at the situation and lighten his mood up.

He frowned and turned to her, huffing like a little kid, "They are but this isn't ideal."

Ella knew exactly what he meant and she knew just as much that he was trying to figure out a way to make it work so she tried stopping his train of thought, logically pointing out the facts, "You can't go with me, they're gonna follow you and then coming back in here to leave will be horrendous."

"I can get one of the security guards–" Alex tried fighting her logic but she interrupted him.

"No, sweetness, it's alright. I don't wanna be a burden."

Alex scoffed, it was lighthearted, more like calling herself a burden hurt him. He shook his head and assured her, "You're not."

But Ella wasn't having his obstinacy at the moment, not when it would involve putting his team through something unnecessary and wasting time that could end up being precious for the crew to set up in the next city, "Steve has been waiting for over ten minutes now. Calling your security to avoid you getting mobbed is gonna be an unnecessary burden on y'all."

"But–" Alex tried fighting again but she shook her head, a frown on her face and her lips pressed together as if she was fighting herself as well.

"It's okay." Ella promised with sweetness seeping through her voice. Taking a step forward, she pressed closer against his chest and took her hands up to brush his hair back, the rich brown strands damp and soft through her fingers. Slowly she let her hands softly fall down the sides of his face so she could cup his jaw, all she wanted to do was press their lips together.

Their breaths grew heavy as their gazes went over each other's faces but at the sight of such a tender scene, the people broke out in a new wave of screams that ended up making her flinch and the bubble burst. Their lips didn't meet, instead she settled for throwing herself into her arms, her hand cradling the back of his head as she whispered, "Love you, Al."

Sentiment that he had no trouble reciprocating, only he wished he could've been able to show it in more ways than just "Love you too, Ellie."

He wondered if it would be a good moment to just let everything out, have her turn around and take back those few steps she'd already taken away from him to crash their lips together at the prospect of hearing him scream out loud how much he wanted her to be much more than just this.

But he couldn't. Not in front of all those people, not when they'd still have to leave. The thought of telling her everything and then leaving for two whole months was cruel enough on his stupid heart, he wouldn't want to imagine if she reciprocated, how badly he could hurt her just up and leaving like that.

And he most definitely didn't want to think about the very plausible chance that she didn't feel the same way. Not waking up to a single text from her, no silly pictures at work or movie reviews she'd seen in Los Feliz. It was hell just to think about, and he didn't want to ruin things by rushing to say the things he could never take back, not even if they were at a wrong time.

So Alex stayed there watching her leave, the venue's security had to walk with her a few meters down the sidewalk to avoid her getting trampled. People got louder when they turned their attention back to him, he forced a smile and waved at them just to kindly acknowledge them. As if he didn't want to curse them all out for ruining the chance of finally having a moment alone with her like he'd been begging for since she left on a plane that August morning.

His eyes moved back to Ella, who had already crossed the road, and he managed to catch her gaze on him right before she walked into the building. He blew her a kiss, one that she mimicked to catch with a smile, pocketing it before she finally turned into the building.

A horrendous wave of regret, anger and disappointment enveloped him, leaving his skin uncomfortable and sticky like the humidity that comes after a summer thunderstorm.

If he closed his eyes he could picture himself walking beside her, getting to her car and catching a glimpse of the mirrorball hanging from her rearview mirror. The lights of the building hitting every fragment of it and cascading in rays inside her car, almost as bright as her smile—a smile that he knows she would've flashed him after he trapped her lips with his in a kiss he had been dreaming of giving her for months.

His heart was heavy as he walked back to the tour bus, where Steve was sighing in exhaustion and asking him where he had been. A question that got no answer because Alex was in complete silence, wallowing in self pity and all the promises of what could've been.

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Las Vegas was always a silent promise of something unexpected happening. Alex knew that quite well. He'd been to the bustling decadent city enough times to gather that, his memory too fuzzy when it came to some of the nights he'd spent there over the years to recall some events.

But this time it was somehow worse.

Worse because he had not only alcohol and wild parties to blame, but Alice.

And himself.

It would be unfair to not blame himself. And his lack of self-control. And the inability to live with his own frustration. And the cruelty of his own mind to remind him how badly he wanted someone who was miles away and unattainable until he was truly willing to risk it all.

The show in Vegas came after two consecutive nights in San Diego, so it had been three unbearably long days since they'd parted ways with Ella and Alex had let himself wallow in self pity the more he counted the time it took them to text each other back. It was like the second he had to put his phone down for a while, Ella replied to his messages but not when he was with his eyes stuck on the device counting each second in desperate hope of one of her messages coming through.

That particular show had been incredible, it seemed like the crowd put in extra effort to make their last gig in the States the very best for they were as loud as ever and Alex coil feel their voices still ringing in his ears.

They would be going back to the UK to continue with another round of tour in the home country and then move along to Europe, so they took the chance of their last night in America to properly celebrate.

Alex hadn't even known the type of club they were visiting, entirely unaware of the stupid little blindfold charade Matt had signed him up for until it was too late.

He'd been guided into a room where he was meant to kiss someone and guess whoever it could be from the group that had come along to the club. The struggle here was that he wasn't sure who had signed up and he was silently praying that it was Zara who had grabbed him by his neck and kissed him passionately until they slowly lost control and they were pressed against each other. He felt the way her legs clenched around his thigh, which was placed between the girl's legs, but when he heard that moan, he knew that it was no one else than the walking nightmare he'd had to put up with for months up until then.

Alice.

They weren't meant to take the blindfold off but he pushed her away the second he recognized the high pitch of her cry of pleasure, after having unfortunately had to hear it through the walls of his flat time and time again, and they both snatched the piece of fabric off their eyes and scowled in horror.

Before any of them could utter a word, the girl in charge of the game, and who had walked Alex into the room, scolded them for breaking the rules of the game and telling them their time was up.

None of them spoke, both putting walls up and pretending that hadn't happened and guessing poorly whoever their kiss had been despite knowing exactly who it was.

After that had happened, it was like they were competing on who could take the most alcohol and they'd end up stumbling their way out of the club with the rest of the group.

Oscar was almost blacked out and having to be almost carried by Nick and Connor, Jamie was the one who was the most sober of all of them but still wasn't in great shape. Matt and Breana were being disgustingly adorable in their drunken haze, holding each other as they walked outside to get a taxi back to their hotel. Alice and Zara clutched each other tightly, giggling about everything and anything, erupting in loud cackles whenever one of them tripped on the sidewalk. Alex was putting his mind to focus on every step he took, but his mind was swarmed with a mess of thoughts that made him silently wince. He could feel the headache brewing already and he hated it.

Two taxis had to be taken for the whole group to comfortably make it back. The first one had been taken by Nick, Connor, Oscar, Alice and Zara; and the second had been occupied by Matt, Bre, Jamie and Alex.

All Alex wanted to do was go back to the hotel and get in bed, exhaustion was finally catching up to him since the energy from the show was dwindling down thanks to the many margaritas he'd had.

But it seemed like his luck had run out completely because the second he'd finally gotten to his room and shed the coat he had on, his very much inconsiderate neighbor was blasting loud music that he could hear booming through the walls.

He sighed in exasperation but closed his eyes and dropped himself face down on the bed, thinking about just giving it a few minutes for Alice to turn off the music and go to sleep.

But five minutes went by and she didn't and Alex only had the patience to grace her five more, and when those went by and she was still playing music as loud as she could, Alex slammed his fist on the mattress and jumped up from the bed.

He stormed out of his room, snatching his keycard and pocketing it to walk to the room to his left, the last room of the hallway.

His fist pounded incessantly against the wooden door and a whole minute went by without her answering. She started singing louder then, and it angered Alex so fucking much that she was blatantly ignoring the clear knocks on her door.

So he hit the door harsher, and if it wasn't for her opening the door after another minute, Alex would've taken it down.

There was no kindness to be grasped when he opened his mouth the second that Alice opened the door, "Can you shut the fuck up? People are trying to sleep." His words came out slow though, and it was all because seeing her in just her cropped white vest top, which showed very clearly her nipple piercings, and the flimsy black fabric of her underwear made his brain haywire.

And in full honesty, Alice couldn't give less of a fuck, so she rolled her eyes as she took a gulp of the mini vodka bottle in her hand that she'd gotten from the mini bar and scoffed, "You're so fucking boring. It's barely two in the morning Alex, fuck off."

Alex couldn't believe her nerve, harshly running his fingers through his hair and spitting out his words with venom, "You're the most fucking inconsiderate person to exist."

"Blah, blah, blah. I don't care. Bye." Alice was done with the pointless argument, she was sure he was exaggerating about the volume and he could definitely find a way to fall asleep even if he faintly heard her music through the walls, so she pushed the door to slam it close but Alex put his foot forward to impede it closing.

She was so over it, she just turned around back to the middle of her room and started singing along to the All Time Low song that was blasting off the speakers.

"Turn your fucking music off. Now." Alex sternly said as he walked into the room, the door closing behind him with a loud thud from how hard he'd slammed it.

Alice watched as he looked around the room for her phone, knowing she'd connected it to the speakers in the room but she smirked in defiance and yelled, "No!"

He groaned loudly, making Alice spin around to watch him. He was red with anger and she foudnit the slightest bit amusing, especially when he clenched his jaw and hissed through his teeth, "Shut the fuck up Alice, I want to fucking sleep."

It was so entertaining for her to get under his skin so she easily found the words to pick at him, "Yeah you're the only one trying to because where in fucking Vegas, everyone else in this damn building is getting it on. Live a fucking little Turner."

His fists clenched in fury, "I swear to god Alice–"

She didn't even give him the opportunity to try and finish another one of his ultimatums, because she knew he was all talk, "What?! What will you do? You're fucking exhausting, all bark no bite." Walking up to him, downing the rest of the vodka and tossing the little bottle behind her, she lifted her chin up and stopped when she was pressed against his chest, "Tell me to shut up once more and you'll see what happens."

There really wasn't an explanation behind his actions, no way for Alex to find the logic behind why he'd wrapped his fingers around her neck and pulled her in to finally shut her up with a messy kiss.

He got a flash of the memory of a chat he'd had with Flo where she called him out for fancying Alice, for clearly having a certain desire towards her that he'd always denied. And this being the first time he acted up about it felt odd.

But the unfamiliar feeling was completely overpowered by the sudden eagerness and hunger that filled them up and made the kiss desperate. Alex growled into Alice's mouth when her tongue came to press against his lips, and when they finally tasted each other, something snapped.

Still, even in this situation, it felt like they were trying to make it a competition, see who was the one to pull away for air first, to smirk down at them for being weak. Alice was the one to pull away with a loud smack of their lips, but before he could come at her, she put on an unimpressed face and challenged him, "Really? This is how you choose to shut me up?"

Alex didn't say a word. In his mind, he thought if she was talking this way it meant that she wanted more and if it was like that, then he'd give her something to talk about. So he brought up his right hand, his index and middle fingers coming to press against her lips and when she parted them, he pushed them into her mouth.

Alice's cheeks hollowed as she sucked his fingers but he didn't stop there, he kept pushing them further until she rolled her eyes and gagged around them when he hit the back of her throat. She tried her hardest not to moan, she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of know she was enjoying this, despite feeling the pooling wetness in between her legs.

When Alex dragged his fingers out of her mouth, Alice released them with a pop before raising a brow and spouting more faux unimpressed words, "At least make me enjoy gagging around something, Turner."

He let out a snort of laughter, one that was purely mocking, "Is that it then? You want your mouth stuffed to finally shut the fuck up?" He didn't know what had come over him, but he couldn't hold himself back and his fingers came down to quickly undo his belt.

The smirk that appeared on her face seemed sarcastic, but she wasn't doing anything to impede him continuing, instead she mused, "Is this you trying your chances to prove you can make a woman cum?"

Without missing a beat, Alex replied, "This is me giving that mouth something useful to do."

Alice hummed as if she was taking it into consideration, a funny question coming to her mind, "And what makes you think I wanna bruise my knees for you, Red?"

He rolled his eyes at the nickname, but chatted back with clear evidence that Alice just couldn't deny, "I dunno Loveless, do you not want to? Because I can still hear you moaning against my mouth when we kissed at the club, clenching those thighs around my leg."

"You're obsessed." Was the only thing Alice could come back with, and it made him chuckle.

"Sure. Just as much as you are." Sarcasm was thickly wrapped around every one of his words.

Alice rolled her eyes, looking down at the way he was slowly bringing the zip down of his black jeans, so she sank to her knees and roughly snatched the fabric down, "You're so fucking slow, fucks sake."

It had taken those few kisses to have him hardening in his pants, but it wasn't enough so Alice licked the palm of her hand and started stroking him up and down. It was a relentless pace that she built, looking up through her lashes and smirking at how easy it was to have him throwing his head back and cursing under his breath.

That gave her the impulse she needed to wrap her lips around him and take him all the way until he hit the back of her throat, gagging and swallowing around him when he instinctively bucked his hips forward with a high pitched moan.

"Pathetic." She muttered when she pulled back off him, her hand continuing to stroke him while she got her breath back and then went back in to take him in her mouth.

She kept doing that over and over, pulling back to insult him or throw comments that came for him and his ego, but he retaliated the best he could in between the cloud of pleasure that she was bringing him.

Up until the point where he felt he was about to burst inside her mouth, so he fisted her hair and pulled her off him, roughly pulling her back up to her feet so that he could throw her on the bed.

Another challenging raise of her eyebrow accompanied by a mocking, "Oh, now you're gonna prove it?" irked Alex further.

"Shush." He harshly called out as he kneeled in between her legs on the bed, spreading them apart to expose the wet patch that was ruining her underwear.

She scoffed, totally hiding the tingles that run up her spine at the feel of his fingers digging into the flesh of her inner thighs, "No manners. Typical."

Alex wasted no time to grab at the sides of her underwear and peel it off her, throwing it behind him as his eyes were stuck watching her glistening cunt with a growing hunger that had him getting impossibly harder. He sucked his fingers and brought them to her cunt, one glide up and down to gather her wetness and then brought it up to his mouth. He hummed at her taste, which was sure to drive him a bit crazier but he wouldn't admit that out loud.

Alice was just glaring at him, trying to act stoic as if his fingers coming back down to tease her entrance and then go up to rub on her clit wasn't making her grip the sheets tightly. He was watching every twitch of her mouth and brows as he went, wanting to get a reaction out of her just like she'd gotten from him. But she wasn't letting up and he was growing impatient so she just filled her up with two fingers and curled them perfectly to shatter her facade.

Her brows furrowing and her teeth biting on her bottom lip was all he got as she swallowed her moans, so Alex had to coax it out of her with more. "C'mon now, Loveless. That's a bit unfair, isn't it?" He leaned down, breath hitting her still covered chest and bit one of her nipples through the fabric of her shirt, eliciting a sweet whine from her that he wanted to increase in volume by curling his fingers once again, "Don't fight it."

"Fuck..." Alice finally moaned loudly when he flicked his tongue over her nipple at the same time as he curled his fingers and from then on she couldn't keep up with her act.

He continued his actions, deliberately and with an increasing rhythm that was driving her mad, until a new song came on and his own voice drowned the room entirely. It was such poor timing for 'Dangerous Animals' to come on and she cackled loudly in between moans.

"Sure you don't want me to turn the music off now?" There was a slur to her words, she was so close to edge and he could feel it from how hard she was clenching around him.

"No." He didn't relent despite how pathetic the scene was now, covering up the feeling with another venomous comment at Alice's expense, "I don't want people to hear and you're obnoxiously loud."

But that comment gave her the perfect setup to come at him and hit a sore spot she knew would have him even more angry, "Just as loud as your pretty little Ella." She panted out a scoff when his fingers stilled inside her but she still didn't stop her mocking, "Bet you loved hearing us through the walls, didn't you?"

He was fuming by then, so he pulled his fingers out of her and frowned even more when she dared to call him a, "Twat." at him stopping his actions.

"Turn around." He instructed, his slick covered hand coming to wrap around his cock and swallowing a groan at the soft wave of relief.

Confused, Alice asked an exasperated, "What?" If he was messing with her then she'd kick him out and make herself cum.

Alex repeated himself with a huff, like he was annoyed he had to say the instruction again, "Turn around."

She scoffed but did as he said, and it bothered her how the need for release was clouding every bit of decency left in her. She wished she could just kick him out of the room, but the ache between her legs was so strong she was willing to shove aside the hate she had for Alex and indulge in the pleasure he was bringing her now.

He quickly took his pants fully off and crouched down to grab a condom from his pocket, something Alice noticed and called out immediately over her shoulder, "Came prepared? Were you that desperate?"

"I always have one on me." Alex explained easily, as if that made it less pathetic.

And Alice chuckled, "Right. Whore." She didn't expect the comment to have him strike a hit on her ass, but he did and she yelped out in surprise.

"Shut up before I stuff that mouth with my cock again." He threatened as he rolled the latex down his length, "It'd be a fucking pity leaving you clenching around nothing, wouldn't it?"

"Just–" Alice couldn't take the anticipation anymore and his words were going straight down to her core so she wiggled her ass on the bed and lifted it the slightes bit upwards to show her glistening cunt at him as she told him, "Fuck me Alex."

He groaned with his fingers wrapped around his cock, pumping himself at the sight of her dripping hole, "Since you asked so nicely."

She was so wet she welcomed his cock easily inside her, and he drove himself inside her until his hips pressed flush against her ass. The both of them threw their heads back at the pleasure, Alex groaning loudly when she clenched around him. He fucked relentlessly into her, purely needing to cum and she met him in the middle, pushing her hips backwards so he hit that spot over and over again.

Nothing else was really said, only curses and moans heard inside the room as they go, the slapping of their skin and bed creaking beneath them. It was just the same when they came. No call of each other's name, no sweet pet names accidentally slipping out in the heat of the moment. Just lewd noises and curses as they fell over the edge.

When they got their wits together and it dawned on them just what had happened, Alex stood up silently to shed the condom off himself and walked to the bathroom to dispose of it. And he was glad to see that when he walked back out into the room and grabbed his discarded pants and boxers, Alice had turned the music off completely and was getting some clothes on herself.

She yawned softly, like what had just happened hadn't been anything spectacular and once he finally buckled his belt in place, she shooed him off the room with a wave of her hand, "Right, off you go."

Alex scoffed, incredibly irritated still by her stupid attitude. He shook his head and pointed out, "That can't happen again."

To which Alice nodded, "Agreed."

With a stern "Good." Alex turned around and left the room, slamming the door because he still fucking hated her. Nothing could ever change that.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

(24/10/2013 13:06) Still confused about the tractor and Aaron's vision but Cookie looks incredible in this music video. As do the rest of you I guess... I'm joking! Y'all looked so handsome, I miss your pretty faces :( I also miss London, that's where you're today right? Love you lots!!! xx

Alex had smiled when he walked back into the greenroom after the show to Ella's text, going up to the lads to show the message and taking a quick funny selfie to send back to her.

The second she got it, she smiled knowing her lunch break was coming up soon and she could sneak out for a smoke and facetime them at least for a little bit.

It was like the more days went by apart and in different timezones, the more they got used to it and started to get the gist of it. Messages sent that would be seen after a gig or the morning after and replies that she would get by the end of her work day that she answered when she got home.

Nothing was better than finally relaxing on her settee, with some takeout and Mexican coke, texting Alex as she mindlessly watched a movie or a show. Now that they were in the UK, the time difference was a little easier to allow them to facetime her in their greenroom so she had a fun end to her nights seeing them enjoy the post-show energy.

On the days in between shows, there would be interviews or radio shows that would have either Alex and Matt or just Alex as guests—he had always hated that bit of being the frontman—so Ella wouldn't have much luck getting Alex to herself on the day's off the band had on tour.

Sometimes the rest of lads would text her on those to catch up with her, despite knowing things through Alex, and Ella's heart warmed up every time one of them would facetime her, even if briefly, on those days. She still couldn't believe how close they'd all gotten to her. It made her a bit emotional knowing how much she loved them all and it hit harder every time how much he missed them all.

It made her even more emotional whenever she allowed herself to indulge in every feeling Alex brought to her, and most of the time she truly had to force herself to stop because the squeeze of her heart inside her chest hurt too much.

But every day that went by meant a day closer to having him close again. She pushed aside the fact that it would only be one day that they would spend in Los Angeles before they had to leave, she wanted to see just the positive side of it all.

Soon enough Halloween day rolled around and the end of the month brought Ella more excitement than the actual holiday—which actually was her absolute favorite.

Since Breana wasn't due back in Los Angeles until the tenth of November, then Ella was stuck just enjoying the Halloween party Ben was throwing at his house. It would be mostly people from work and a few of Ben's friends, so Ella didn't really find the need to look for a proper costume.

She'd put on a pair of blue jeans, her favorite brown cowboy boots along with a brown cowboy hat and a funny shirt that Bre had gotten her for her birthday that she had yet to wear which read 'cowboy pillows' right over her tits. She finished it off by tying a red bandana around her neck, to emphasize the fact that she was going as a cowgirl and it wasn't just a regular fit she would wear.

Either way, when she arrived at Ben's everyone told her she'd cheated because it really didn't look like a costume considering she usually wore similar looking outfits.

It had been even funnier when she posted a picture of herself to her instagram that night and she'd woken up to a text from Alex that called her out for her costume not really being one.

He'd cursed under his breath when he opened the app mindlessly in the lounge of the tour bus and saw her looking as gorgeous as ever, and especially with that damn shirt that sent his mind reeling.

There hadn't been a moment to act on the sudden rush of need though, because everyone at the office had agreed on taking the following day off, which meant that Ella was home and had woken up way earlier than necessary and had all the time in the world to be on the phone to him so she facetimed him.

Thankfully, the signal wasn't that bad as the band went from one city in Germany to another so the video call went on smoothly, and Ella and Alex had probably been on the phone for most of the day. With interruptions from everyone else here and there but the smiles on their faces showed just how much they appreciated the chance to just somehow be in each other's presence for longer than a thirty minute call or a string of texts and selfies.

And they cherished the long weekend Ella had and the chance she got to check on her phone more often for they spoke loads those three days, and when they had to focus back on their work at the start of the following week, the memory of the great amount of time they'd managed to chat and spend hearing each other and seeing each other through the screen helped endure the days they had to wait until their reunion.

When Breana went back to Los Angeles, Ella felt like a bit of home had been brought to her and the wave of relief that flooded her had been enough to have her cry in her best friend's arms when Ella had brought her over to her house after picking her up from the airport and they finally shared a bottle of wine like they always used to.

Upon properly catching up, Bre found Ella had been diving straight into work to keep herself busy and really not giving herself enough time to have fun and go out. There still were her Los Feliz escapades on the weekends but they were all by herself and it was only from time to time that she met up with her work friends to have brunch or drink at one of their houses.

But there certainly wasn't much for her to tell when it came to dates or potential romantic interests. Ella had completely been avoiding dating, turning down a few people who had gone up to her asking for her number when she'd been out—always saying she'd a partner and that she appreciated them asking, a little white lie that really had no actual reasoning behind, though if she really listened to her subconscious then she'd find that there was a little hush voice wishing the partner she was mentioning was Alex.

She always shooed away the thought. Ridiculous, you're ridiculous, she told herself when the hope lit up with a spark like the ones that came from two stones being struck together.

It was pointless to indulge in the thought any further when she really couldn't do much about it. What good could it make to say something that could shift things in an exponential way when he was so far away to try and fix it.

She'd rather die.

Still, though, the sparks of hope flashed inside her chest and threatened to cause a fire whenever he signed off his texts with a 'Love you' or he took pictures of things she'd enjoy and send them to her, or when he recorded videos of the views he had even if it was just the venue and she could hear him whispering behind the camera "Isn't it so pretty, darling?"

November went by in a flash of loads of work and cute texts from Alex, and Bre getting her to leave her house, accompanied with a side of visits to Los Feliz theater and a lovely escapade to Manchester to spend Thanksgiving with her family.

That year Ella would unfortunately not be able to spend the holidays back home, because of already booked work around the dates that wouldn't allow her to spend proper time with her family and hometown friends, so she booked a week-long holiday off to Tennessee for Thanksgiving and it was such a breath of fresh air to fall back into the familiarity of the big barn house that she'd grown up in and her parents and sister—and Jayne, who had managed to get a lucky two days off from work.

Surreal would be the word Ella would describe how it felt to go back to Los Angeles and realize it would only be six more days until the lads were back in town. It was more like five days since they'd be arriving very late at night on the sixth, but she'd be spending the whole day with them on the seventh and Ella just couldn't wait.

Especially not when she and Alex had agreed that since it would be the only time they'd see each other right before the holidays, they wanted to give each other for Christmas and that they'd be allowed to open it on that very day just to allow them to feel like it was actually Christmas for just the two of them.

That was why Ella had gone all out and got them ugly sweaters to wear to the cinema, where she'd made sure they would watch 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas'. Bre had cackled when she jumped into Ella's car that Saturday morning and caught a glimpse of the obnoxious sweaters in the backseat of her car.

"You're cute." Bre said in between giggles, "I need to get a picture of you two in them."

And that she did.

When Ella pulled into the hotel they'd stayed at overnight, which was a five-star hotel in Downtown LA, and they walked inside the building to find Alex and Matt waiting for them in a lounge area by the lobby, Bre had them put the sweaters on first thing after they'd hugged hello. Alex hadn't even gotten a proper chance to look at what he had been given to wear and it had Ella creasing when he looked down his torso to find a horrendous bright green tree made out of actual green tinsel garland on a bright red knitted sweater—it had red and gold pom poms as ornaments and a golden bow on the very top of the tree.

His jaw dropped in horror when he looked down at Ella's which was a big wreath made out of the same green tinsel garland and had a big red bow on it along with two little elf legs sticking out from the middle of it.

Alex's face was actually priceless and Ella actually changed Alex's contact picture to the one Bre had snapped of the two of them.

"We don't have to wear them," Ella promised, still trying her best not to laugh at the way Alex's face contorted in absolute disbelief when he looked down to see the sweater, "It's really sunny outside either way, so we're gonna want to take them off."

"It's horrific." Alex stated, looking up at her but with a smile so big that contradicted his words, "But thank you darling, I love it." He wrapped his arms around her waist, leaving Ella to throw her arms over his shoulders and she hummed in bliss at the feeling.

"No you don't." Ella corrected him with a goofy smile that Bre could see over Alex's shoulder, so she took another picture of them like that before they could notice when they pulled back.

Matt snorted in laughter and shook his head, "God, that's an ugly fucking sweater if I've ever seen one."

"I know." Ella proudly admired her obnoxious work, "I did so well."

It was such an American tradition and really, mostly a silly thing her parents had started when she and her sister had been little but had continued well up until they moved out, but she loved it so much. Her mom and dad had loved the sweaters when Ella sent them a picture of them and that was all the reassurance she needed.

"Alright." Ella muttered as she started shedding the sweater off herself, giving Alex the greenlight to do so too. "Shall we go?"

Alex nodded as she folded the sweater and shoved it into a little gift bag that Ella knew was the gift he'd told her he'd get her. She smirked looking at it and wished she could see through things because she had been so intrigued about it for weeks.

Matt and Bre went their own way, to a park so they could have a lovely picnic Bre had prepared for them, so Ella and Alex walked back to Ella's car and they quickly got out into the road to drive to Los Feliz.

They'd sat directly next to each other instead of across from each other when they got to a cafe a couple blocks away from the theater and they'd been giggling and whispering like teenagers poorly keeping a secret.

Without them realizing, they'd spent almost a whole hour at the coffee shop and they were cutting it close to the time the film was supposed to start so they sped walk down to the cinema. Ella got their tickets after pleading with him to let her get them if he had already paid for their breakfast. He reluctantly nodded and she had the biggest smile on her face when she got handed the tickets and they walked down to the auditorium they had to go to.

Seeing Jim Carrey's genius on the big screen never got old and the joy that radiated from Ella at the moment was almost palpable. It exuded off her in warm heat and a glint in her eye, her face glowed under the flash of lights coming from the screen which were just as bright as her smile. She quoted lines from the movie in a whisper and it had Alex smiling like an absolute idiot. Their cheeks hurt immensely by the time the movie finished and they walked out of the theater, both with hearts full from having finally revived a tradition they'd missed sharing for so long.

Alex knew he had up until two in the afternoon to show up for soundcheck, but even though they were cutting it quite close, he still dragged the both of them out for a quick lunch before they had to go to the venue.

It was just a little sandwich and a couple of Mexican cokes that they ordered to go and they agreed to have in Ella's car. They'd also agreed that it would be best if they opened their gifts there instead of the venue and the anticipation was hanging over them with every step they took over to the parking lot where they'd left Ella's car at.

The second they got inside and Ella turned on the car so the AC would help them cool off a little—the sun had been burning their skin despite for the chilly winds of December—and she put down the food instantly, not being able to wait any longer to give Alex the present she'd taken a while to perfect.

"I want you to open your present first." She struggled against her smile to say it properly, sitting sideways so that she could stare directly at Alex.

Alex found her so fucking adorable, turning on the seat to look straight at her too, his head cocked to the side as his brows furrowed slightly with pure adoration coating his features.

"You sure?" He asked softly as if his heart wasn't hammering against his chest when he tried to imagine what her reaction to her gift would be.

Ella nodded and hummed, "Please? I really cannot wait any longer to see your reaction."

She really didn't need to plead, he was already nodding at her request, setting own food down at the foot of his seat to reach back for the gift bag that had her present.

He took out the ugly sweater she'd given him and with an amused smile set it over his lap just as he agreed, "Sure darling. But I also cannot wait to see your reaction so do you wanna open them at the same time?"

She doubted for a bit only because she really wanted to take in his reaction completely but inevitably, she nodded, "Yeah, okay. Sounds great." Reaching behind her, she got the bag that contained his gift and softly placed it over her thighs.

They slowly exchanged bags, a wary and curious look in both their faces before their fingers grasped the bags and Ella's eyes went instantly wide at the weight of hers.

"What is this?" She asked instantly, breathily like she already couldn't believe what he'd gotten her.

He raised a brow teasingly, "Well why don't you open it and see?"

Alex was afraid he was gonna get a 'you first' that he'd have to chat back to but the curiosity got to her and completely made her forget about her own request to have him open his present first.

The anticipation bubbled and extended to every nerve ending of his body like a fuzzy tingling as she dove for the contents of the bag and she got the small items first.

Her fingers were quick to rip the wrapping paper and when the words 'Portra 400 120' came into view, Ella looked up slowly at Alex with her mouth agape, "Stop."

Alex snickered and she finished unwrapping the multiple film boxes, each time with a louder gasp, until she finally dove for the bigger item.

The second her fingers touched the leather and felt the shape of the item, a small sob came from her chest and her eyes started welling up.

"Alex, stop..." She begged for no reason, a pout coming to her face when she fully pulled out the object from the bag and a little cry escaped her when she actually saw the gorgeous camera she was now holding in her hands.

A tear ran down her cheek and Alex let his hand come over her thigh to squeeze lightly in reassurance, "Don't cry, darling."

"I can't–," She managed out with a strangled voice, she couldn't finish saying that she just couldn't accept the gift. But her fingers worked against her thoughts and carefully shed the camera from the brown leather case and when the stunning Rolleiflex came into her blurry view, she choked on another sob, "Can't accept this, Alex."

There was no way in hell she would accept this present. Not when she knew the price of it, which had been exactly why she'd yet to get one for herself. It was so hard to find those cameras and if it looked as good as the one she was holding right then, then she was sure it would have to be way over the thousand dollar mark. Adding to that, the leather case and the multiple packs of film he had gotten her, it was just way too much to accept.

Especially with how simple her gift now looked like in comparison.

"You are." Alex stated firmly, his voice still sweet and soothing in her ears though.

"I can't!" She hiccuped, struggling to peel her eyes from the camera to look at him, "D'you know how expensive these are? I can't possibly–"

Alex interrupted her, "You are accepting it darling. Because I'm certainly not returning it and yes, I'm well aware of the price and I couldn't care less about it. Not when I know it'll make you the happiest."

Her bottom lip wobbled at the tenderness of his words and her chest hurt from how much she was feeling at the very moment. She exhaled heavily and shakily, thinking about it for a second and her worries came back up so she tried to argue again with a, "But–" that was again interrupted by Alex.

Another squeeze to her thigh was what she felt as encouragement for her to look up at him and take in the genuinity behind his every word, "Ella, I bought this for you and only you. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind when I got it and I was the happiest picking out a pretty case for your new camera and had trouble controlling myself when it came to getting you all those film rolls." He softened his features even more, like he was trying to do puppy eyes on her, "Please accept it darling? Nothing would make me happier."

She stayed quiet for a few seconds, eyes going back down to the pretty camera, debating whether or not to actually let herself accept such a gift but when she looked back up at him and saw those brown eyes she had missed looking into so much, she let her shoulders hang and gave into his wishes.

"Okay." She sighed out quietly like it hurt her, and she preoccupied herself with putting her new camera back in its case and putting it slowly inside the bag.

Once that was done, after almost a minute of her working ehr task in utter silence, she started saying, "But I'm gonna get you something else and I'll give it to you next time we see each other because that," She pointed at the gift bag in Alex's hands with a scowl, "Is way too simple."

"Eleanor." He called out for her to stop the rambling he knew would soon ensue if he didn't stop it from happening.

She sighed like she was regretting every one of her decisions and replied with a shy, "Hmm?"

"Stop that." He instructed her, a hint of an amused smile on his face. Not because he found this predicament funny but because she looked like she was about to throw a little tantrum and it was adorable.

She huffed like a child, about to chat back playing dumb about what he was implying, "Wha–"

But he stopped her with a soft, "Don't" that worked to keep her quiet and slightly reassured her, "I'm gonna love this, I know it." He lifted the bag slightly and decided to just go for it before Ella could continue spiraling. "You know what?" He trailed off before diving right into the bag for the gift that was well guarded inside a pretty wrapping paper and a little bow.

"It's so simple." Ella pointed out when Alex took it out of the bag and set it over his legs.

He shook his head as he started carefully undoing the creases at the bottom of the paper and when he saw the handmade cover of the big square journal she'd gotten him, his heart bursted in his chest.

Alex could faintly read 'On The Road' which was made with magazine cutout letters and a written subheading in a dainty piece of white paper beneath it that read 'A picture collection by Ella'. As he took the book out of the paper, he noticed polaroid frames sticking out along with ends of ribbons and hints of color seeping through the pages.

"Is this...?" He asked wordlessly, without really a need to because he knew it was a scrapbook.

Ella sighed, fiddling with her fingers, "Yeah."

Opening it, he found she'd written a little dedication page first. It had pictures of the pretty sunsets he knew they'd seen together and she'd photographed throughout the years. He could name them if she asked him to: it was the one from her first day in London, then that day coming out of Belmont Park, the first sunset they'd seen together when they recorded Brick by Brick, the one they'd also had the chance of appreciating together when he took her to the beach after everything with Julian had happened.

And in the middle of it all was a pasted note that seemed to be purposely and carefully made to look like a ripped piece of paper, attached to the page with two pieces of beige tape on opposite ends, that read the sweetest dedication:

Alex, I found myself lost in memory lane when I stumbled into pictures I had taken the first few times I met you and the guys. It's crazy to think it's been two years since then, it feels like it's been a lifetime but also just a few months ago at the same time. I got lost in every frame for hours and the warmth that spread through my chest felt so nice, I thought it would be kind to share the feeling. Of course, I had to make it better than a photo album so I took my sweet time meticulously putting every page together in a way my mind seems to assemble things. I hope you understand my vision. And if not, then I blame my lack of crafting skills.

Merry Christmas sweetness, love you lots!

- Ella xx

"Darling..." Alex said softly, a knot forming in his throat after reading that and it only got tighter when he flipped the page and saw the few pictures of the band Ella had taken back in 2011.

But she didn't even catch the emotion behind Alex's whisper because she was so lost in her own mind, "I know, I'm so sorry. I wasn't expecting you giving me a camera worth a fucking grand sweets! I should've established a budget."

"Ella." Alex said the tiniest bit louder this time, eyes getting more and more glassy the more he flipped through the pages, "This is the sweetest fucking thing." His voice was a bit strangled, but his smile didn't falter at all, his eyes dropped to the page he was on and his chest swelled even more seeing a picture where she was smiling hard at the camera, eyes closing from the big grin, with Alex resting his chin over her shoulder as he hugged her from behind.

"Come here." He mumbled, letting the book close on his lap to pull her in by her wrists and crushing her in a tight hug, an awkward one since the space in the car didn't allow for much.

He left a bunch of kisses on the side of her face, dropping a few down her jaw and neck, giggles bloomed from her chest and felt like music to his ears.

"Did you like it?" Ella asked shyly in his ear.

He pulled back, cupping her face with his hands and assuring her, "I fucking love it."

"Really?" She asked breathlessly, a hint of doubt behind her eyes that had Alex needing to keep flipping through the pages so that she could see it clearly on his face just how much he loved what she'd done.

"I really do." He skipped through the ones that he remembered had been snapped in that little west coast tour they did at the start of 2012 to the beginning of all the ones she'd taken when she'd been at the studio with them while they recorded AM, "I had never seen half of these!"

Ella winced a little, knowing it was true because she had never had a proper chance to show them to him. She had sent a few to his team just in case they wanted them for AM promo, alongside the first draft of the finished AM making documentary she'd filmed.

"Sorry, I have to send the scans to you." There were so many pictures she'd forgotten to show him that she knew he'd love because so many were of him in his element.

He hummed in agreement, "Please email them to me, darling." And then, he flipped onto another page and he giggled a bit before pointing out, "I wanna hang this one."

"Oh stop, it's so bad." Ella rolled her eyes when she caught which one he was talking about.

Shaking his head, he chatted back, "No, I love it."

"I was crying and you can tell I was." It was a picture of her birthday, one after they'd been drinking and singing karaoke in her house and she had started crying from how much love she felt. The 'Birthday Girl' cowboy hat the lads had gotten her was perched on her head and she was scrunching her nose in laughter with her eyes half lidded as Alex attacked her face with chaste kisses.

"And?" Alex didn't care for the way it was clear her mascara was smudged and the tears running down her face were clear in the picture, she looked as beautiful as ever, "Look at you."

Her face lit up in flames at the way he looked up at her and back down to the picture, there was so much written on his face that was making her heart beat faster with every second, "Shut up."

Alex kept flipping through it all, entirely in awe of the detailing on every page and the way she'd set up every picture. He went from her birthday to the last few months of recording, to their Los Feliz escapades, to Glastonbury and the entirety of her holiday over in the UK, to the few pictures she'd managed when they had three gigs in LA a few months before.

He wished they could move forward in time and see which other pictures would join the collection.

"Darling, this is so sweet." Alex mused, going back to see his favorites, which were mostly the ones he'd taken of her and she'd put together in a page that read 'The shots you took when you were coming for my career'. His smile got impossibly bigger, "Thank you." He pulled her in for another hug, pressing a long kiss on her cheek and mumbling a sweet, "I love you." against her skin.

"I love you too." She reciprocated and hummed in delight, but when she pulled back and saw the difference of presents perched on each other's laps, she let herself get emotional all over again and looked up at him with a pout, "Thank you so much Al, honestly."

He didn't like seeing her cry at all but knowing that it was happiness that was moving her this much, he smiled and endured it, "Merry Christmas darling."

Ella threw herself over him this time, giving him the biggest hug and mumbled, "You're the best."

To get her to laugh, he teased, "Am I?" and he was entirely satisfied when a loud cackle came from her.

"You're so annoying." She whined when she pulled back, softly shoving him by the shoulders.

He shook his head, "I'm joking." And intertwined their fingers together to have her in his arms again, "Come here, gimme a hug."

They didn't want to let go, not when it felt so right to hold each other and when it just made sense in this bubble charged with so much warmth and affection. There was not a worry in the world that could poke at them, until Alex's phone started to ring and, though he let it go to voicemail once, he got a swarm of notifications along with another phone call.

Reluctantly, he let go of Ella, still holding her hand and rubbing circles on the back of her hand as he answered with an annoyed, "Hello?"

His frown quickly melted for a clearly stressed out expression and he heavily sighed before he apologized, "Fuck. Yeah, sorry." Ella could barely make out what was being said through the phone, it was pure gibberish to her ears but she squeezed his hand in hopes to soothe whatever was happening.

He smiled sweetly at her and it heavily contrasted with his wary tone as he said, "We're about thirty minutes away, if that's alright?" And she saw his shoulders fall in slight relief after that. He ended the call with a calm, "Sure. See ya' mate." but let out a long exhale when he pressed the red button on the screen of his phone.

"We have to go?" She asked, it was the only thing she could imagine him getting in trouble about.

He nodded, "Yep. Soundcheck was supposed to start half an hour ago."

"Oh fuck." Ella cursed under her breath, carefully putting her gift bag in the backseat floor, placing the bag with her food beside it and chucking her ugly sweater behind her without much of a care for it.

"S'alright darling. They'll wait for me." He assured her, putting his seatbelt on after she'd quickly done so and turned on the car.

But Ella felt bad for making other people struggle with time just because they'd gotten carried away, "Sorry, I wasn't meaning to get you back late."

She almost melted on her seat though, when he shrugged and squeezed her thigh, "It's not your fault. Plus I'd do it again. I couldn't be arsed about being on time if I'm with you."

He caught a flash of her grin as she looked behind her and pulled out of their parking spot, "You're too cute."

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It had been all hot and pathetic tears that just wouldn't stop when Ella had to say goodbye to them that night. And it was so unfair that it was that night that they had to leave as soon as possible, because she would've been able to actually stay for as long as she could.

There also was the fact that Bre was going with them so it was hitting her how she was spending the holidays on her own whilst the lads and their missus would be all spending it together.

The only consolation prize she had was that Florence would be coming to Los Angeles with the 1975 as they had a few gigs in town the following week so the prospect of seeing her and the band after so long brought a bit of familiarity she'd be missing until she got to see everyone again.

Which, now, she wasn't sure when it would be.

Just that had made her cry a bit more when she'd gotten home and when Alex had made it a mission to be on the phone with her almost the entirety of the day after, up until he had to go on stage.

The following days had been hard because her mind was plagued with the thought of Alex to the point that she was struggling to focus even at work. It was embarrassing the amount of times she'd gotten aggressively honked out of her thoughts when she was driving, and the amount of times Lydia had to snap her back into reality with waves of her hand in front of her face.

She needed a distraction, desperately, and when The 1975 and Florence arrived in LA, it was perfect timing.

They'd gotten into town on the morning of a Thursday so Ella couldn't go see them as soon as they got there, but Flo had gone to visit her at the office just a few hours before she was leaving and it had been such a lovely surprise, Ella had almost tumbled the both of them to the floor from how hard she'd hugged her.

Instead of going home and changing like she'd planned, Ella just drove the both of them to the venue where the lads would be playing and she got the warmest welcome when she walked into their greenroom.

She'd laugh so much from the moment she got there, and she couldn't help but find herself comparing the energy to when she was with the Monkeys in their greenroom. The 1975 guys were so much more chaotic, Matty and George together in a room was the funniest chaos and Ross added a spoonful to it that made her lose it altogether even more. Flo's cousin, Adam, was the more grounded one, but after a spliff or two that they'd all shared, he found himself giggling and throwing jokes that made Ella gasp in surprise at the lewdness of some of them.

It had been slightly refreshing that George had resumed his flirting with her and the affection he was showing her as they waited for the show to start, reminded her just how long it had been since she'd properly gotten any relief from someone else.

George had cheekily managed to get a kiss from Ella, claiming it was for good luck and that he would really need it. Ella had shaken her head but given in, and the feeling that washed over her made her want to beg for him to take her somewhere else when the gig was over.

Ella and Flo had joined the crowd and managed to wiggle their ways into the sea of people until they stood on the left side of the stage a few people away from the barricade. The venue was smaller than the ones the Monkeys had played when they came to LA but there was a good one thousand people inside the venue and the anticipation was even more palpable somehow.

When the lights went down and the big rectangle box flashed behind George's drum kit, the walls shook with the loud screams from the crowd and when the album intro boomed through the speakers just as the band walked out on stage, the people got impossibly louder. Ella and Flo joined in, the adrenaline coursing through their veins as the intro built up and peaked into their first song.

Hearing the many songs she'd absolutely loved from their debut album had been incredible and she'd been particularly louder when they got to 'Pressure' which was definitely her favorite from the album.

After the show, she'd helped them set their gear back in the small tour bus they had and she'd ended up saying goodbye not long after. She promised to be back the next day as soon as she could and she truly couldn't wait to watch another one of their shows.

"You should come over to mine after the show to celebrate." She invited easily, already thinking about having to get a few more bottles of wine for Flo and Matty. "I can drive y'all, we can manage to fit in my car."

They all nodded and agreed, they were staying in Los Angeles until the following Tuesday, so it would be perfect to get pissed at Ella's house and enjoy a proper catch up and finally take in her neck of the woods.

So, the next day, Ella arrived at the venue during soundcheck and she'd had the best time watching them mess about on stage before the show. Matty had snuck in the chorus of 'I Want It That Way' and 'There She Goes' in between their songs while Adam along with the sound people of the venue checked it was all perfect.

They'd gotten high and chatted about everything and anything until they were due on stage, Flo and Ella sneaking into the crowd once again in between giggles and managing to have a few conversations with some girls around them.

The show had been fucking mental, the energy that Matty exuded on stage was so contagious that the crowd gave him even more energy back and it was a vicious cycle that assured for the post-show rush to last a while.

It was a never-ending adrenaline rush that stayed with them the whole night, making for a really fun drinking night with them all.

Ella hadn't gotten that drunk, aware that she had suggested them all staying over so they didn't have to get a expensive taxi back to their hotel so she had to be a good host the next morning, but she'd gotten tipsy enough to settle the fact that George would be sharing her bed once everyone was ready to go to sleep.

They'd been getting off all throughout the night and all the 'get a room' comments had ended up in her deciding that they indeed needed to get a room for themselves that night. Though she knew they wouldn't be able to do much with everyone in the house, she wanted to enjoy having George to herself for a little longer.

Everyone groaned and complained about how they wouldn't get any sleep if George went with Ella but she flipped them all off and told them, "There's a guest room at the end of the hallway, the bathroom is right here and I'm gonna go get the air mattress. Someone is gonna have to sleep on the couch if that's alright."

Matty and Flo basically sprinted to the guest room and chucked themselves on the bed with Ella following behind to get the air mattress, "You two better not keep me up all night or have me change the sheets in the middle of the night."

Flo smirked as she watched her clumsily go through the things stored in the closet of the guest room, "Don't worry, we don't make messes. I swallow."

Matty laughed so loud at his wife's comment and Ella was left speechless at the sudden comment, "Jesus Christ, you filthy bitch."

"What? You don't?" Flo asked with a quirk of her brow, purely taunting her for an answer.

George startled her when he answered from the threshold of the room's door where he was leaning, "She does."

Ella blushed hard at the comment, getting embarrassingly wet at the memory of having her mouth stuffed with his cock and her mouth watering at the thought of it happening again.

"Shut up." She scorned him as she walked right past him, air mattress box, two pillows and blankets in hand.

WIth Ross and Adam's help, they cleared out the middle of the living room and set up the air mattress. Adam had kindly let Ross take it as he settled down for the night on the settee and they thanked Ella for the pillows and blankets she'd brought for them.

"Sweet dreams guys." She called out before she walked back to her room, where George was eagerly waiting for her with that smile of his luring her right in to sit on his lap at the edge of the bed.

At first it was just a continuation of the kisses they'd been sharing all night, until he felt just how wet she was and she couldn't keep down the moan that the feeling of his fingers on her clit elicited out of her.

She startled herself and stopped him, "We can't. I know I won't be able to keep quiet."

He of course understood, but she seemed so afraid of everyone hearing her that he had to joke to settle her down a bit before they stopped, "Should I gag you then?"

And that sparked an idea in her head.

She stood up from bed quickly, scaring George who instantly apologized and said he didn't mean it but he was surprised when she shushed him and told him it was alright to then walk up to her closet and pull out a big box that when she opened, made George's mouth fall slack at the amount of sex toys and kinky accessories she had in it.

"Ella, fucking hell." He cursed under his breath, watching her fingers move stuff around until she found what she was looking for: a silicone bar gag with a leather collar to buckle in place.

Something snapped inside of George when Ella so innocently went to put the box back in its place and slowly walked back to bed. He'd pulled her in by the waist and quickly hovered over her, kissing her hungrily until she was squirming due to the lack of relief when she was so uncomfortably wet already.

The gag had helped her not be as loud as she knew she would've been after such a long time without having someone in her bed, but still, George was so good with his tongue and his fingers that she'd been biting down hard most of the time, her jaw ached by the third time she came.

He'd been so hard, Ella was sad she truly couldn't feel comfortable enough to take him in her mouth after having her jaw clenched so hard for so long, so she used her hand to get him off and got him to finish on her tongue.

Ella had the best night of sleep cuddled up to George and it had been a struggle to give up the way his limbs felt tangled over her body so that she could make everyone breakfast.

The food had been a great apology for the noises that had managed to slip out of Ella's bedroom, for which Flo and Matty took the piss out of them both, and eventually, they all left. Everyone but George. He had kindly declined going around Los Angeles with them all to spend the day with Ella, more like on and in Ella, and practically kicking them all out of the house when they started teasing them just as they were leaving Ella's.

"We might be going out tonight. Any recommendations? And do you wanna come with us or are yous gonna be too busy?" Ross raised his brow as he asked them both with a smirk on his face, being the last to walk through the door.

Ella hummed, "There's this club in Hollywood called The Sound or something like that. I'll send you the address, we'll see you there."

Ross nodded and walked up to the taxi that was waiting for them, Matty and Flo already inside the vehicle while Adam was waiting for Ross to finish talking so that he could get in the car. Ella waved them goodbye, feeling George behindher doing the same while his free hand came to clutch onto her waist.

As soon as the taxi was gone and Ella closed the door, George lifted her from the floor and threw her onto his shoulder to all but run up to her room, where he threw her on the bed and hungrily pounced on her as he'd wanted since they woke up.

"You're gonna grab that box and we're testing everything inside it." George mumbled against her lips after dizzying her with a heated kiss.

Ella panted as she nodded and it took her a few seconds after he got off her to realize she had to get up and get it.

It was fair to say they spent most of the day trying the different things in the box, taking breaks in between and chatting like it was just another day, until they got another rush of lust and they went at it again.

They'd gotten interrupted by seven in the evening when Flo called Ella to make sure if she and George we coming with them to the club, to which she said yes but let her know it wasn't opening until ten, so they'd all have time to get ready and leave and get there early enough to be first in line and get a good table.

Ella had no idea how George had the amount of energy he had because they took their fun even to the shower when she was supposed to be getting ready, but he'd easily convinced her to let him join her and her hands started to roam and before she could even comprehend, she was sucking George's fingers and begging him to fill her up again.

When the pair got to the club, the group was practically asking every question out there with just their eyes but they got nothing.

Adam and Ella were staying sober that night, so they both had their entertainment sorted by a drunk Matty, Florence, Ross and George. Though, George had kept it within his limits because he was going back home with Ella and he didn't want to pass out on her. It was Ross the one who was the drunkest and it was hilarious to see the tall bearded man being so clumsy and avidly spouting random shit in between conversations.

By the end of the night, which was around two in the morning for them because Ross was falling asleep, they were all knackered from all the dancing. Adam had been left to look after a drunk Ross while Matty was being the best husband and making sure Flo didn't fall on her face as she'd had too many shots—she had most of them double, to compensate for the fact that Ella wasn't drinking, she said.

Ella had driven all the way back home and she'd been pleasantly surprised by how much of a cute drunk George was. She tended to him and when she got back to her room, he was fighting his exhaustion to wait for her to come back and cuddle into him.

He was so warm and she loved how he felt like a weighted blanket on her, her eyes were closing and she was relishing in the bliss until he slurred his words in her ear, "I wanted you to ride my face but I'm so knackered."

She shook with loud laughter that made him giggle in her ear, "Go to sleep, you idiot."

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella gave George and the rest of the group a nice drive around her favorite places in Los Angeles, ending it with a nice stroll by the beach and invited them all out for dinner that Sunday. It had been so fun being the one to show the place she considered home to them all, and she found herself even happier when she saw them enjoying every place they went to.

George had spent that night over as well, Ella cheekily asking if he wanted to come over—she texted Ben right after George agreed enthusiastically and said she'd be taking the Monday off.

It felt good and easy, something casual with someone she trusted and she was incredibly happy even though she was sad to see them go that Monday night. She drove George back to where they were staying and actually went inside the airport with them to properly say goodbye. It was very late at night and their flight was leaving around three in the morning, but that didn't keep Ella from staying as long as she could until they had to leave to go through security.

Unlike with the Monkeys, Ella found it a bit easier to bid them farewell. It probably was because she felt so at ease with them that she was grateful for how they'd gotten her out of her miserable thoughts of the past week.

Plus the fact that there wasn't an underlying tension that she had no idea how to solve.

She sighed heavily once they all disappeared behind the white wall after they got through security, suddenly her mind flooded back with the same million thoughts of Alex and the distance between them. Like George's presence had been just some dense fog that made the mountain of every unsolved question and undiscovered feeling about Alex disappear for just a brief moment.

Now it came all back in sight and she didn't know what to do. There wasn't really much she could do.

The next morning, she drowned herself in work to muffle every distraction thought of her turmoil and when she got home, she started brainstorming photoshoots and putting together moodboards to take up on photography consistently again.

But as she took shelter in work and planning, Alex had been moping around alone in the tour bus on the way to Kansas City, the last stop of the tour.

Before the 1975 and Flo left LA, George had found a print of a picture Ella had taken the day they went on a date in London—the one with her thighs on each sides of his waist with his hands on her legs—, she had it perched up on one of her shelves next to a bunch of other pictures that she loved. It was a collection of pictures she'd taken and grown to love so she sprinkled them around her room proudly.

George had picked it up and teased her for it, which ended up in them kissing for a while, hands wandering everywhere until Ella got on top of him and they stopped just to take in their view. Ella had grabbed the picture, which had been printed in a size similar to a polaroid and placed it on George's abdomen. She'd picked up her phone and, after quickly making sure they were in the same position as the original picture, she took the same picture with the print in the middle—the black and white of the print contrasted against George's skin.

And Ella had posted it, after she'd ridden George until they both came and they were left sweaty and hazy from their orgasms. 'Nice kind of messy' she had captioned it and when Alex had seen it, his heart had dropped and his blood had grown cold.

Alex knew the 1975 were on a small tour in the States and he also knew that they were going to be in Los Angeles a few days, Florence had told him just that. And Alex recognized the print in the middle of the picture clearly, it was George—it was the same box tattoo he had on his thumb next to Ella's red ink 'Divine Feminine' tattoo.

Jealousy was something Alex was more clearly able to recognize nowadays when it came to Ella but this horrible sourness that rose up his throat and made him feel ill was new. It was far stronger than anything he'd felt before and he didn't know what to do other than hide away in the back lounge of the bus, the scrapbook Ella had gifted him in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other.

Swig after swig, he'd ended up confusing the sway of the bus on the road for the dizziness that made his vision spin. He had ended up opening one of the big windows to smoke a few cigarettes inside the room, going over every poor decision he'd made so far that had kept him from telling Ella exactly how he felt. Keeping it to himself was so painful but he didn't know who he should talk to about it.

He was debating calling Florence, trying to make the math for the time difference in his head but eventually giving up when the memory of Ella's recent post came to the forefront of his mind like a cruel mocking his own brain was throwing at him.

He fell asleep on the settee there, the vodka bottle half empty and the scrapbook open on the pictures he'd taken of her. Time had completely slipped from his grasp when he woke up to Matt knocking on the lounge door, Alex only hummed in response and Matt told him they'd arrive at the venue so everyone would be going out to get some food. The show wouldn't be until the next day, so they'd be staying overnight at the place in the tour bus, and it made sense to go look for something good to eat after having had a typical tour bus breakfast that barely got them through the day. But Alex had no appetite for food at the moment, so he hummed again and mumbled a slurred, "M'staying."

Matt left shortly after, he'd asked if he wanted anything but since he got no response, he figured to just leave his best mate to rest.

But Alex couldn't really find rest after that, not when he saw the scrapbook again and picked it back up and, before he could think about it properly, he pulled out his phone to open her instagram to only be hit with the clear reminder that Ella had gotten with George again.

When Matt said 'everyone' was going out to get food, Alex thought he was entirely alone in the bus. But when someone opened the lounge door suddenly, the lingering hint of alcohol in his blood got startled away. If the nap hadn't sobered him up fully, it was the fright of someone coming into the room that did it.

It got even worse when that someone was none other than Alice.

Alice, who laughed loudly at the clear fright on his face and got even more amused when she saw him disheveled and really fucking sad.

Pathetic, she thought.

Her gaze fell on the handmade looking book he had perched on his lap and she asked, "What is that?" Her tone was clearly taunting, she was trying to get a rise out of him. He looked so fucking sorrowful that she was intrigued and incredibly amused at the same time.

"Go away Loveless." Alex said, exhausted, letting out a long sigh that he hoped told her enough about how he wasn't really in the mood at all for her attitude.

"Oh come on Red. I thought we were friends?" She played again, if his presence there had just ruined her plans of relieving herself in the peace of an empty tour bus, then she would get her fill of entertainment from him. "Tell me what's that and why's it got you so pathetically miserable."

He kissed his teeth and hissed a stern, "Fuck off."

But Alice wasn't planning on it. So she quickly came up to him with all the intention of snatching the book from him to take a peek at it, yet Alex acted quicker than her and raised it upwards and away from her.

That had turned out to be a mistake though, because Alice was stubborn and she had no issue in placing her knees on each side of his hips and using his shoulder as leverage to reach the book in his hands. And when she finally plucked it from his hand, she let herself sink down and took a seat on his lap.

Alice smiled to herself reading it had been made by Ella, thinking about how sweet she was, completely missing the way Alex swallowed a groan at the sudden contact and the way his hands instantly came to hold her hips.

She flipped through the pages in silence, admiring every little detail of Ella's work on the scrapbook and smiling harder when she got to see different sides of Ella that she was so jealous had been all there for Alex to witness.

God, did she want her.

Alice wasn't dumb though, she was able to quickly put it all together and she hummed to herself when she came to the conclusion that Alex's tragic mood was all due to the fact that she'd clearly slept with someone else and posted it proudly for everyone to know.

Yet, playing dumb just to push his buttons sounded like a far more interesting turn of events.

"Did you see what she posted today?" Alice asked him with a fake tone of naivety in her voice. When she remembered the picture though, she felt a heat come over her all over again and she let her sinful thoughts slip out easily, "It's all I've been thinking about while I was waiting for everyone to leave so I could play with myself to the memory of her on top of me."

"Alice." Alex muttered, his words sounded strangled like he was in pain hearing that, his hips shifting beneath her subconsciously.

"What?" She asked innocently, clearly noticing his writhing and biting her lip at the brief friction she got from it. She had been unable to get herself off for almost a week now and it was fucking painful.

"Please, shut the fuck up." He was willing to beg her to just go but his thoughts were being clouded by how close she was to him and how good it felt to have her heat radiating into him.

"Oh why? Are you having trouble again?" She chuckled, faux pity making her lips curl into a forced pout, "You know I love seeing her posts, makes me reminisce. I know you're stupid but I don't think as much as to not have seen those pictures she posts and not do a single thing about it."

He groaned in response, one of Ella's pictures coming to the forefront of his mind and the latest one he'd fucked his fist to which was the Halloween one. The same one to which Alice had fucked herself too, wishing it was Ella doing it.

"It's so sad isn't it?" Alice pushed further, "How he's had her twice now, maybe even more than thrice whilst you're left here fucking your fist alone in your bunk." She wished the image of that didn't turn her on as much as it did.

Just to irk him even more, the singer continued, "She gave me the honor of having her twice and god, Alex. Do you wanna hear a rundown about it?"

The 'no' he wanted to say got stuck in his throat when she shifted on top of him, a groan managing to slip from him. His fingers harshly digging into her skin and keeping her flush against his hardening cock was enough of an answer for her to continue.

Alice hummed, and her hips started rocking on his lap more consciously now, "Do you wanna hear about how she fucked herself on my fingers only to end up riding my thigh? Her hips moving just like this at the start, and god those pretty sounds she makes," She leaned into his ear and moaned sweetly, just like Ella did, rocking her hips harder and feeling the perfect amount of pressure on her clit to have her drench her underwear further, "They're fucking addicting."

"She was dripping all over my thigh, her head thrown back and those perfect tits all over my fucking face for me to suck on." Alex exhaled heavily against Alice's tits, his lips parting even more as if one part of him was tempted to suck on them like she was talking about, like he was fantasizing about doing to Ella.

His grip got stronger then. Ella. It was all that he was starting to think about, with his eyes fully closing to just picture her.

"She looked so fucking pretty when she came, Alex. I swear I can see and hear it clearly every time I need something to think about on lonely nights." It wasn't a bluff, the thought of Ella was a promise of a great orgasm for Alex and she was starting to go in that direction despite having Alex actually beneath her.

Another image of Ella flashed through her mind, making her moan loudly before she continued, "Do you wanna hear about how well she uses that pretty mouth of hers? How she ate me out like she was fucking starved only to fuck me with my toys until I fucking squirted all over her?"

A breathy moan fell from his lips then, cursing under his breath at the thought Ella's mouth all over him, wrapped around him, "Fucking hell."

"I know, it pains me that I can't have her every fucking day." Alice admitted, her mouth watering at the thought of Ella's taste on her tongue, "And do you wanna hear about how hard she kissed me and how much she begged for me to make her cum multiple times? She's insatiable, you know." Her pace got faster, hips moving erratically on his, "Fucking insatiable and you just can't never say no to her."

"Can you Alex? Huh?" She opened her eyes to look down at him, falling apart just from hearing it all.

He shook his head, answering honestly because how could he not agree? There was nothing he would deny Ella. Nothing.

He was growing harder by the second in his pants. Painfully harder, all just from picturing every word Alice was uttering and it was genuinely driving him insane.

Alice wanted more, she needed proper relief so she grabbed his hand and lifted it towards her mouth. She parted her lips and welcomed two of his fingers, sucking them and dragging them down her body until they reached under her skirt.

"She was so damn good to me. Knowing exactly how to touch me," She dragged him slowly up her soaked underwear until his digits pressed on her clit, "Exactly how to tease me." She made him draw circles on her clit multiple times until she shuddered at the pleasure rushing down her spine, "Exactly how to make me fall apart for her." She pushed her underwear aside and guided his fingers to her entrance but Alex was the one to push them in.

"Oh fuck." Alice cursed in a moan, struggling to continue, "She filled me up so fucking good." Alex curled his fingers at the image in his head and Alice smirked, swallowing a moan to praise, "Yeah, just like that."

It only took a few minutes of him thrusting his fingers in and out of Alice for him to lose control. His eyes were closed, so he was fully just picturing every single thing he was doing to be with Ella. To Ella.

Just like Alice was picturing Ella instead of Alex.

Suddenly, it seemed like a fair trade—both frustrated over Ella's absence and filling the void of carnal desires with each other.

So they ended up fucking again, both of them coming undone shortly after Alex sank himself into Alice. Their hips snapping fast and hard against each other, skin slapping and raw moans filling up the small space.

Nothing else needed to be said. It was over and done with and they both got what they needed: release.

Yet, it felt definitive and they both knew it.

Alice wasn't interested in keeping this up, Alex was far too complicated and whatever their relationship was had always been enough of a mess to even navigate for professional purposes.

Alex though, he felt a bitterness settling inside of him and it seemed to be an awful lot like regret and self deprecation. Ella flooded his mind but his heart was also filled with her and every detail that came with her existence and the fact that he had just got back in bed with Alice for a second time, to the thought of her made him feel disgusted. Of himself, of his actions, of the way he wasn't acting according to what his heart felt.

And that's when he realized he was far more tangled with Ella than he had imagined, even if he knew it was strong already, the feeling of every mile that separated them came to weigh heavily on his chest and he wanted to be sick.

It was just Ella. Ella was the one he wanted, and no one would ever compare.

And now, he felt like he'd completely betrayed her once again. And he had no idea how to fix it.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Going back home for a holiday break to the ceiling silence of his flat seemed to be the repentance Alex needed.

At first, the guilt had been present constantly when he thought of her or he saw the pictures on his walls where she appeared. Whenever she'd text him, or call him, there was the nagging feeling in the back of his head that made him nauseous. It was like he was hiding something from her and he hated it so much.

But how would he even let it out in order to feel free of the burden? Alex had no idea.

Calling Flo and telling her everything had been helpful though, and Florence being the wise woman that she was, told him that he had to forgive himself because there wasn't gonna be anything good to come out of him making himself miserable over his decisions. She also reminded him that he hadn't really done anything wrong, both he and Alice had willingly done it and both seemed to have shared the same sentiment of thinking of Ella.

"I suppose it isn't the best of things to use someone to satiate the need of somebody else but it's not like neither of you knew." Flo commented with a sigh and a merciful look on her face. "You'll be alright Shakespeare. Just stop messing about and tell Ella."

When? was the golden question.

The one Alex was still trying to find an answer to as Christmas rolled around which he spent at his parents' house. Penny and David had asked all about tour and much more about Ella the second Alex first mentioned her when he got to telling them about the American leg of tour.

He had spent Boxing day with them as well, loving being able to spoil his parents with presents, and it brought him much peace to think about the time Ella spent over. He texted her again that night, being embarrassingly melancholic about the memory and hoping to wake up to her feeling the same wave of nostalgia over it.

The day after boxing day, he went back to London and got ready to head to Matt's for the Christmas party he was throwing. The Monkeys were all invited, Katie and Kelly joining, as well as the 1975 lads and Flo, and many more of Matt's friends.

Alex had drunk plenty that night, all to help himself a bit more when it came to actually letting himself enjoy the moment and laugh a bit easier. He'd ended up stumbling into Matt's guest room and passing out on the bed as soon as his head hit the pillows, utterly and completely exhausted from having to mingle with such a large crowd.

When he woke up the next morning, if it could be called morning as he had slept in until almost one in the afternoon, he found two missed calls from Ella sitting in his notifications. His head was pounding and his vision was fuzzy as he opened his messages and saw a few ones that made him smile for he could almost hear the pout on her face as she said 'Throwing a Christmas party without me is so rude :( I'm alone at home watching a marathon of Home Alone, at least facetime me!' but he'd been long gone by then.

The next ones were a mess of typos that he could barely make out and he figured maybe she'd found a party herself to get drunk at to forget about the lonesome holidays.

The following ones, though, had him frowning. It was just after one of the calls he'd missed and she'd simply texted, 'Alex pleaseeeee' followed by another missed call and a final, 'Please?'

There was nothing else said that could give him a hint about what she could mean with her pleading, and he was starting to get concerned. She'd sent those at around three in the morning for her, and it was about to be five in Los Angeles, so he figured she'd be already asleep but still he sent a worried, 'Is everything alright darling?' and went along with his day, trying to be patient since it would definitely be a long time until she answered.

But she didn't answer for a long while, not until he was deep into nursing a few beers in the comfort of Flo and Matty's flat where everyone was gathered in a more intimate Christmas party.

He read her message that said, 'Sorry, I was very drunk. Everything's alright except for this stupid hangover that I need to disappear before work tomorrow.' just as Florence asked George something. Alex tuned the drummer out for a second, a smile forming in his face as he imagined Ella sleepily trying to move around her house, but it faltered when he heard Ella's name being mentioned in the chat. His ears perked up just in time to catch a piece of information he didn't need.

At all.

"Ella woke me up today, actually." George smirked against the rim of his glass.

Flo raised a brow at the mention of the director, she just said, "Go on." in response, knowing that there was more to the story and she really wanted to know what he was implying.

George shrugged his shoulders, "Let's say it was a really nice surprise to wake up to."

Flo squeaked and so did Bre, who asked very quickly, "Did she send a picture?"

"No," George blushed slightly and it only made the girls more curious, "She called me."

When George said that, it was like a truck carrying a full load had tumbled over and dropped all of its weight over Alex. There's no way, he thought. And before he could even think about there not being a possibility of it getting worse for him, it did.

"And because I'm a gentleman I won't divulge more than the fact that it was a very non PG call and I think I had a heart attack and died at 11am."

Alex froze in his place, not even the loud squeals from the girls managing to stop him from zoning out—the fact that he had missed that call dawning on him and it was the worst joke of all time.

He took a minute to count until a hundred, trying not to kick off at himself for getting wankered and sleeping so deep to have missed that, even more so when it meant that Ella had chosen him first, only to be replaced by George.

Fucking George, he cursed in his mind before standing up and excusing himself to go for a cig.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The New Year had come faster than expected and Alex's birthday creeped around the corner with it.

It seemed like 2014 was taking pity on Alex and giving him an early birthday present though, when he got an email from Steve and his team with the following tour dates coming up.

Alex had almost missed it, the letters on the screen of his phone merging into a big pile that confused him as he scrolled and scrolled. Until his eyes landed in a certain place that he had begged his manager to get.

Bonnaroo Music Festival 2014 - Manchester, TN, USA - 15/06/2014

He almost dropped his phone twice in the haste of dialing her phone, waiting eagerly for her to answer and trying again when it went to voicemail.

"Hello?" Ella asked breathlessly, and it sounded almost like she was running away from a loud place because the loud chatter faded away as the seconds passed.

"Promise me you're not gonna cry." He said first and foremost, and that only had a big ball of anxiety settling on Ella's stomach.

She bit her bottom lip with a frown, "Yeah, I'm not sure I can."

"Darling..." He warned as if he needed that promise to tell her the news.

She squeaked in stress, "Alex you can't just say that and expect me to say I promise! What is it?! Are you okay?!"

He smiled at the way her words stumbled into each other, "I'm more than okay darling. I just need you to promise me there won't be any tears when I tell you this."

There was loud silence for a few seconds before she hesitantly said, "Okay, I promise. Now what is it?"

"You sure you promise?" He asked again, but she could hear through his voice the smirk he clearly had on his face and she rolled her eyes.

"Stop teasing! What is it?!" She said desperately this time.

Alex let out a shaky breath before he finally let her know, "We're playing Bonnaroo darling."

A beat or two of silence were followed by a loud gasp. He giggled at her reaction and even more when her voice wavered as she asked, "Actually? For real? This year?"

He nodded stupidly, a foolish smile on his face and his heart hammering against his chest, "Yes, darling, this year."

Her scream was deafening, and he really wondered where she was just to take the piss out of her for making a scene in some public space. But then he heard her sniffling and he knew she was silently sobbing.

"You promised no tears, Eleanor." He reminded her with a soft voice.

Another sniffle was heard louder this time, "I know, I know. I'm sorry." Ella apologized halfheartedly, "I know. It's just," She stopped herself to take a deep breath and her heart felt like it was about to burst at the news, "You're coming home."

Home.

Alex thought about how Ella had grown to feel like home to him, and if the happiness and all the warmth he felt within him at that very moment didn't back that up, then he was sure he'd know the second he got to see her again. This time in her actual home.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: I'm actually so damn excited to get to Bonnaroo finally!!! When I found out they'd played there in 2014 as I was plotting the basics of this fic back in April 2022, I genuinely gasped so loud. It just played so well into the timeline and building everything around it was so much fun. We're finally getting to my favourite bits of this story and I'm honestly buzzing about it - this means that we're closer to the end though :((( Only 4 more chapters and the epilogue left *cries* I hope you enjoyed this one and also hope to see you with the next one very soon - I'll try my  best I promise!! Have a great weekend darlings xx

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