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tundrainafrica · 4 years

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Title: A Tale of Two Slaves (10/17)

Summary: “Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn’t exist. Everything is a choice.” At that moment, Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him.“

Reincarnation AU. Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn’t.

Note: This took a while. I had this written out for a while, I just spent a good amount of brain cells trying to figure out where to cut this. It’s almost done actually. I’m expecting like (at the most) 5 more chapters so maybe I can get it done by the end of March if I muster up the courage and the effort to do all the final revisions to the last few chapters.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Other Chapters:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Link to cross-postings: AO3

As Levi soon found out, Hange kept a folder online tagged ‘Levi Ackerman.’

The oldest pictures were dated more than three years ago and the first had been one of his cool down after his performance at his first tournament. There was variety in the pictures and they covered everything, all the way from warming up on the bench, positioning himself to run and those few moments right after launching himself in the air to the peak of his jump. She had even snuck pictures of his interviews.

The first time he opened it, he had first checked the dates to make sure he hadn’t been dreaming or assuming she of all people had been a fan. The weirdly strong emotions he had felt at the realization of the existence of such a folder had only made him all the more vulnerable and the last thing he had wanted to do was an act on an illusion or trick of the mind.

The experiences he had on the field clearing jump after jump had become routine over the five year period. Despite the changes among the faces in the crowd, the cheers that had only been getting louder and louder and of course, the oval that changed with the venue, sometimes the only thing Levi did remember was the blue sky staring him down and gravity pulling from behind.

Maybe that was why he had ended up in a state of disbelief the first time she had shown it to him.

How did you not notice her? Levi was sure he wouldn’t have anyway. She was a stranger, one stranger in a crowd of people. Although she may have been one unchanging face in a crowd of thousands of changing faces, she was still a stranger to him. And strangers just tended to blend in more easily.

A valid point. Yet the regret and frustration were still fresh inside him despite it having been weeks since she first gave him access to that folder

She had first showed it to him the morning after that eventful night, after having dealt with a hungover Nanaba. It was only in the evening that day after Hange had escorted her three friends to the station did she sit next to him on the bed and scroll through the pictures herself with Levi right beside her. Naturally, she was still hesitant to show that side of her, she scrolled a bit too slow at times, while a bit too fast at other times.

For a while their roles were reversed and Levi found himself prodding Hange for more details. Eventually, she did share the link to the folder in exchange for links to his story and Levi was quick to comply. They were both exposed anyway, there was no need for any more secrets between them. Only one condition that had seemed a little too frivolous at first glance, yet somehow Levi understood it.

Hange requested that he go through the pictures when she wasn’t around. And soon after she requested it, Levi realized he preferred that too. Despite the fact that he did trust her not to judge whatever she may find on the folders, there still existed an uneasiness at baring one’s heart out to someone in words one couldn’t control anymore having written the stories out too long ago.

Consequently, he requested the same thing from her. Do not read it while I’m around. When he told her the stories, he at least had control of his tones, his diction and the packaging of the overall story. Watching her read them, he knew he would find himself doubting the words he had written while at the same time vacillating between decisions to correct his previous writings or let her read. The constant self consciousness that came with the second option had just been too stressful of a prospect. He decided himself, he would rather have full control of the exposition or none at all.

The decision to have no control and no input, to be absent when he bares his heart out was not easy to make. And he continued to feel the traces of that struggle in the way he so easily lost focus and ended up mindlessly scrolling through the folder. His mind had shifted to other things more specifically the prospect of whether or not Hange was doing the same thing then and there.

She was only a phone call away. He could ask. But it had just seemed idiotic. Of course she wouldn’t be checking on it, she had been cramming for an exam that morning in between preparing for her mid semester thesis presentation. She hadn’t even bothered to say any greeting but an ‘I’ll follow’ before he left for the therapist that morning.

He looked through the messages in the waiting room, and up at the time displayed on the upper right part of the screen.

9:43. She was still in the middle of her exam. She won’t be checking on it.

Levi looked at the ceiling above him, allowing the plain white view above him to ease him back to his reality. How long had he been staring at the phone? He closely felt for the aches and discomforts around his body. The dull soreness that made itself known as he stared up at the white ceiling above him only served as a reminder that he had been a little too exposed to quick scrolls and the unnatural glare of his phone for a potentially unhealthy amount of time.

It was his first physical therapy session and Hange had pointed out that he should be early just in case. Consequently, he had shown up at 8:30 for a session at ten.

Just in case you get lost. Just in case there is paperwork which still needs to be filled. Hange would have done the paperwork already. He had ended up clocking that little doubt and that need for a little prophylactic thinking to caution on their end. First times tended to make people a little more cautious. And more importantly, what else was there to do on a Saturday morning other than sleep in?

Either way, that long wait had left him with eyes a little too tired yet at the same time, he was bored out of his wits. He looked around the waiting room finding something else to entertain himself with.

I only have seventeen more minutes to kill. It shouldn’t be too hard.

The atmosphere of the waiting room was nothing like getting lost in nature or on the road. It was stark white, bleak and a little too rehearsed. In other words, it lacked dynamic and consequently. it was too boring to find any amusement in. Of course, they wouldn’t want to stress out any patients with anything too fancy or overwhelming. Yet, the only thing which Levi could have found worth giving more than a passing thought to were the people around him.

And only when Levi started focusing instead on the people and not on the off-white plastered walls of the waiting room, he somehow was able to distract himself from the dragging motions of time.

There was an old man with a knee brace. A middle aged man with an arm in a sling and a girl with a casted right leg. There were others who could have passed up for nothing more than a visitor, until they stood up and Levi noticed in their gait the slight hesitancy to put one foot in front of the other. A small detail which Levi probably wouldn’t have noticed if he weren’t looking for it then.

As he preoccupied himself and reflected over the small details that could have told stories of the people around him, that natural reflection to one own’s self had him a little too focused, a little too fixated.

The door to the waiting room slammed behind him and the trance disappeared as quickly as it came and as silently as a bubble that had just been popped.

Levi found himself irritably following the sound of the footsteps that came right after the slam of the door. It reverberated across the quiet and tense room, so loudly that if Levi did look around him, he would have realized he wasn’t the only one who had been so abruptly disturbed by it.

“Aaaand... My rounds are over for today,” The man said looking not at all guilty for that rude awakening. He wouldn’t have known anyway, and as Levi looked towards the front where the man had settled by the nurse’s desk, he might just have been the only one in the room rudely awakened by that sound.

“Ah, Doctor Jaeger, That was quick,” the nurse commented a little too pleasantly for Levi’s taste.

“Not too busy of a morning.” The man said, or as Levi soon deduced, was Mr. Jaeger. He recognized that irritating voice and as he looked up at the man, taking in the gruff features, the blond hair and beard and the rounded glasses, he quickly grasped for the name.

Zeke Jaeger. He hadn’t even said the name out loud just yet, but somehow he tasted venom. Levi though had enough awareness of his surroundings and his own ability to quickly yet correctly guess names to have kept silent. Regardless, he continued to watch as Zeke lowered his voice, possibly whispering something about going out for a drink and some dinner with the nurse in front of him. He found himself silently judging that audacious invasion of privacy as Zeke looked over at whatever paper was on the teacher’s desk.

Ackerman?

If Levi had actually been a little more aware of his surroundings, he would have realized Zeke did not at all say the name loud enough for him to hear. It was the result of Levi having watched too closely as Zeke enunciated those syllables, having noticed as the nurse made eye contact with him and having heard peppers of conversations about a jumper and an injury.

“Oh… An Ackerman? Who does high jumps?.” Zeke confirmed it himself, as he once again spoke a few decibels louder, obviously with the intention of making himself heard.

It wasn’t anything new. The past few months, Levi started to realize that at the least, many people in the local scene were familiar with him.

“My brother’s best friend is an Ackerman too and she started jumping recently.”

“I don’t have any relatives who jump,” Levi answered, in an attempt to shoot that attempt of a friendly interaction down.

Zeke stared at him, looking surprised. “You sure? With how quickly she picked it up, I thought she should have been related to you.”

Levi kept silent, making no effort to look open at all to conversation. Somehow, Zeke didn’t seem to get the hint.

“She’s been sweeping their interhigh competitions since the start of autumn… With the pace at which she’s going, she might even replace you.”

Levi had gotten used to those types of comments, hearing them as whispers the few times he went out, seeing them on a few forums as people discussed his injuries. He shouldn’t have been at all bothered by the statement, having shifted his attention in life to things which weren’t jumping

The blond man in front of him had been crass and blunt and Levi was starting to feel the beginnings of a bad mood. The irritability only worsened even as Levi tuned out the blond doctor. His mind went elsewhere, as he instead decided to seethe silently at the insensitivity of that statement.

A Tale of Two Slaves

Eventually Levi did get a break from that one-sided conversation. But the countdown to that break was slow and painful. He only noticed as he struggled under the trappings of that long and excruciating wait how long it really took for minutes to count down on a digital clock.

An eternity could have passed before Levi was called from the waiting room. As soon as the clock struck ten, Levi could not help but be more than slightly annoyed that she had been late.

If you’re early then you’re on time. If you’re on time, then you’re late. Any other day, Levi would have acknowledged the hypocrisy of that statement since although he was always early to training, he was never that religious when it came to academics. Having just bounced back from such an excruciating exchange with Zeke though, everything had just been pissing him off more than necessary.

It was almost remarkable how he managed to nod in return at the woman who met him at the exit of the waiting room. But Levi soon realized, as the anger quickly dissipated from inside him, she seemed like an old friend more than a stranger and like for all people, as long as there was history between them, he could save a little more patience points.

The woman who helped him up and led him to the room ahead was shorter than him yet had a way of handling herself that made Levi guess that she was at the least, a university student.

Levi didn’t need to guess anything else. Somehow, her name, her personality and the familiarity had all been somewhere in his head.

She cocked her head to one side in greeting and spoke up. “You can call me---”

“Petra,” Levi said. Somehow, he just knew her name. He had been inclined to complete that statement, only to make more real the nagging feeling in his head as soon as he had noticed her enter the room.

Petra’s eyes widened in shock. “Yes, how did you know?”

“It’s on your nametag,” Levi answered almost automatically, thanking the heavens she was wearing a nametag.

“Yeah, my bad. I get a little absent minded at times,” Petra patted her own head and gave Levi a wry smile.

Petra was hospitable. And when Levi thought that exact statement, he couldn't help but think how the word 'hospitable' had fit her so well. It was in her presence. She had this special talent, of finding ways at least to add color to the stark white hospital walls and the overly sanitized tiled floors underneath.

It could have been the tone or it could have been her word choice as she rattled off what could have been an outline of his physical therapy regime. As Levi did figure out, it could possibly have been the unique enthusiasm she had towards the whole patient recovery process

"So you're my physical therapist?" Levi asked. He never really did pick up what she was saying. He had heard enough about leg raises, timings on when to remove casts and knee bends that he at least guessed she knew enough about them to be one.

Petra though was quick to shake her head. "No actually. After college, I have plans of taking the exam. Then after that, I’ll be a physical therapist. I’m just taking advantage of this internship to learn more about the occupation.”

“It suits you,” Levi said. He kept his own comments brief. At that point, he did start to lose a little bit of awareness of his surroundings. His thoughts flew slowly back to his dreams.

Those first two encounters in the hospital had been two missing puzzle pieces. The stories had been an incomplete puzzle set of words and pictures and as he put it all together in his head, he couldn’t help but note how vivid the memories actually were. It took all his strength not to react, not to bolt out then and there, and go back home, to fill in the gaps on his laptop.

He put two names on his phone.

Zeke Jaeger. Petra Ral. Levi could have sworn there was more to remember and to write about.

And who did Zeke mention then? The other Ackerman? The other jumper?

The dreams were faint, as faint as the image an incomplete puzzle would make. Some parts were clear and vivid like a scenery behind a newly cleaned window. Others were hazy, his mind having filled up those gaps with blurry images. But the other Ackerman was there, and she moved fast enough to justify those blurs in the scene. Back when they fought the war, she flew in those cables much faster than he and Hange had.

I am strong. I am stronger than all of you.

A Tale of Two Slaves

The pain that came with his first physical therapy session was excruciating and it only served to further aggravate the anguish and his eagerness to get home before the sceneries in his head faded into faint memories of something else.

He managed at least to keep himself in a good in-between, by repeating the mantra of that other Ackerman to himself as he went through each and every exercise.

They had started off slow, as slow as a walk in the park maybe, a few stretches here and there. While doing some of the stretches and the warm ups, he did wonder if he had attended the right therapy session. Some of the warm up exercises had nothing to do with his knee after all.

The actual challenge came when Petra and the physical therapist he had failed to get the name of, had him sit down. As soon as Petra unwrapped the brace and pulled it from underneath him, Levi felt the weight of his injury almost instantly. It didn’t help at all that he was looking right at it.

“We’re going to try bending it a bit. Maybe put some weight on it if we have some extra time” The physical therapist’s words felt ominous.

The surgical scars and the healed wounds on his knees from more than two months ago only served to rattle Levi a little more. He had avoided looking at the scars many times before during meetings with Erwin and Hange. The few times Hange did pull and prod at it, he had it stretched out on some pillow.

It was fragile. And it felt unnatural. There in front of him then, it was dangling from the exam table, gravity pulling it down from underneath. Levi swore that if he tried hard enough he probably could imagine it completely disconnecting from his body at that moment. And maybe if he did move it, attempt to stand up without the confines of a knee brace as support, it might just fall off.

“Hey, it happens to the best of us,” Petra said.

No, it doesn’t happen to the best of us. In the room at least, there were at least five other people struggling to do something so simple as to bend a knee. But Levi could have sworn, in the outside world he was surrounded by people who wouldn’t think twice about bending their knee.

“Just bend it as far as you feel comfortable.” Bullshit directions. Levi had to admit, he wasn’t comfortable having it bend at all. Just the sensation of having it dangle so easily in the air, at the mercy of gravity underneath was already unsettling.

Was it a challenge then? To get it to bend as far as he could?

The directions of the therapist were flawed and Levi naturally opted for a flawed response as well. The process of bending his knee had been slow and excruciating. Levi found himself closing his eyes a few times, finding some sort of a rhythm in the faint sounds of the heater in the room, the murmurs from all the way across the room.

Or maybe a mantra? From someone a little too familiar. I am strong. Stronger than all of you. Another Ackerman.

And the way Zeke had mentioned it was grating. Was it a challenge? A threat? Was it supposed to be pushing him to go further?

It could have been Zeke or it could have been that phantom Ackerman that had been a motivation at that moment. But something then had Levi’s heart racing, his mind going in circles.

I’m strong too. I’ll get out of this rut. He thought to himself, a weak yet still effective act of protest. It worked both as a catalyst for a burst of motivation and an odd source of rhythm. The flexibility of bending came in slow, steady but continued attempts. The rush of adrenaline came halfway through.

A few minutes later, he was sweating and maybe he had been shaking a bit before that. When Petra had mentioned the optimistic progress and the plan to at least attempt to put weight on his bum knee, Levi was quick to comply.

And maybe a little too reckless. They had least helped him next to a wall, a good place at least to lean his body in the off chance he did lose control.

“One foot forward then one back.” The therapist guided.

As he watched the therapist simulate that same position, Levi quickly followed suit. He remembered, he had put some weight on his leg. Back then the brace had kept his knee stable.

At that moment, the brace was off, and it would be his bum knee, exhausted from the prior exercises taking the full weight.

I’m strong. Levi repeated to himself. Bending wasn’t an issue before. He had been bending his knees, possibly before he even knew how to walk. It should have been nothing, The excitement of a while ago, the adrenaline rush, pushed him further. It had him so seamlessly balancing the weight from the back of his foot, to the foot in front.

And maybe his knee had been bending farther in, the weight of his body on it. Somewhere along the way he did start to feel the beginnings of a dull pain.

I’m strong. To keep going, Levi had to find an escape. Stronger than all of you. It was easy at least, to leave the movements to his procedural memory as he distracted himself with his own musings, willing himself not to forget what he had wished to write down.

Where did they all fit? The Beast Titan… The Survey Corps… The War… The Alliance?

“Levi, I’m sorry I’m late. The test ended later than I expected…” She came as a faint voice, but Levi was too far gone to hear it.

He had only felt her presence then, when the physical therapist called a break, when he had collapsed on the floor in exhaustion, his knee throbbing, his breaths coming in heaves. He only realized she had been watching for a good long while when he looked up to see the concern etched in her face as he caught her gaze.

“I’m fine…” He at least managed to say that much before he closed his eyes, allowing that few minutes of rest to gather his thoughts and steady his breaths.

“You shouldn’t have pushed yourself too hard. This is just your first session,” Hange said from right next to him.

He still had enough energy to process those words at least.

A Tale of Two Slaves

That night, Levi gripped his dream catcher a little tighter and pressed it close to the back of his phone as he scrolled through google links on the other Ackerman.

It hadn’t been hard to find her at all. Zeke’s tirade that morning had been more than a guide enough.

High school. Ackerman. High Jump. Those were the only three keywords he needed to figure out the whole name of that missing Ackerman. For a moment, he had expected to find his own articles, and had braced himself for the pain of sifting through old articles about himself in between looking at hers.

It turned out Mikasa Ackerman had been the talk of the high school high jumping scene for a while, and she had been the topic of at least 90% of the articles he was scrolling through on Google.

A few times they did allude to the other Ackerman. The older articles heralded her as a successor to the rookie Levi Ackerman, the newer ones that were dated past his injury called her the brand new Ackerman, a replacement.

A replacement to damaged goods. Levi had to add that part himself, an attempt to make a joke out of his shitty situation as he closed that last article. “Mikasa Ackerman,” Levi repeated those words so quietly to himself as he dropped the dreamcatcher haphazardly onto the table in front of him. It had been useless at that moment. Or maybe at the least it had been the reason he felt a little too frustrated at having looked through too many articles that evening.

He looked to Hange who was sitting on the dining table, looking deep in thought on something on her laptop. Mid semester presentations for her thesis proposal were coming up, along with a few new exams next week. She had been conscious enough to point that out at least and Levi happily gave her the space she needed.

The turmoil inside him at first seemed difficult to pacify. Just watching Hange so focused and deep in thought had helped somehow quell whatever unresolved tensions and feelings were settling in his stomach then.

Maybe if he talked to her, the tensions might just disappear altogether. Levi deemed it worth the effort at least. “Hange? You okay?” He asked

Hange’s head shot up and she looked straight at him almost instantly. “Sorry, how long were you calling me? I’ve just been a little too focused on my exam on Monday and the thesis presentations on Wednesday… I don’t think I’ve been in the right mind for a while…”

Levi saw it in the way she looked at him, she hadn’t been focusing on his eyes. It was as if she were still probably seeing whatever words or numbers she was studying. She had been like that the past week since the line up of the thesis presentations were released along with the midterms schedules for all the exams.

Their kiss, their one night in the bedroom almost forgotten. Levi was sure though there was something that had been bothering her, maybe something that extended beyond academics.

I can ask about that after finals. Levi thought to himself, pushing aside that bout of concern. He could start with a light question at least, which didn’t involve Hange too much. “Have you heard of Mikasa Ackerman?”

“Mikasa Ackerman? The high school high jumper?” Hange asked. “Maybe I have been following her too… Lately...”

“She’s really good apparently.”

“Her jumping positions reminded me a lot of yours, so she had been fun to watch. I always did want to ask… Is she related to you? I did some research but I don’t see much which connect you both other than a few articles comparing you as jumpers and maybe speculating a relationship.”

Levi shook his head. “I never heard of her… Until today… A doctor mentioned her back in the hospital before my therapy session.”

“She only started making waves last month when her school made it to the regional competitions. No one really follows the district and the interschools… And apparently she only started jumping recently, during summer and she only started breaking records during the regionals,” Hange said. “That is… According to what I’ve read up on her.”

“So, you have been following her?”

“I still watch videos during study breaks,” Hange admitted. “And she just broke a few records a few weeks ago, of course they’d show up in my feed.”

“And you didn’t feel the need to ask me about it before? About an Ackerman doing the same jumping positions I did? You didn’t want to talk about it?”

“I thought of asking you about it maybe after exams. Besides, do you want to talk about jumping? After everything that happened?”

Levi put his phone down beside him and looked up at the ceiling above him. Of course he wouldn’t have heard of her until then, he had purged himself of all track and field news since the injury. The tournament with Nanaba and Mike and the round of research on Mikasa have been two exceptions and the feelings after that had only reminded him why he had spent his days actively making the effort not to think of the life he used to have. "I told you I'm fine," he said. He half meant that part at least, the writing had helped.

"No you aren't.”

Levi found himself shocked by how certain Hange’s tone had been. And for a second, maybe he had been a little irritated at the audacity of it all. Who was she to assume how he felt? But the surprise and the irritability had him silent and listening. Hange always had a reason for her conclusions. She never made assumptions so easily, he had known her enough lifetimes to be sure of that.

“There's a certain sadness to knowing you can't do what you used to before.” Hange continued. “I think everyone feels it, even a bit."

"A certain... sadness?" Levi asked.

"Wait, that does sound vague... Lemme think of an example." Hange paused for a second, looking up in thought. "Like maybe if you imagine people who’ve been skating or people who've been playing instruments their whole childhood. When they stop training or practicing these things altogether, these people can feel themselves lose their motor skills or their thinking skills that got them jumping double axels or playing arpeggios or pulling off vibratos like they’re second nature. And when they come back to it years later, I’m sure everyone feels the sadness or some sort of a frustration, looking back at their old self and processing the realization that they can’t bring their body or their mind to do something as effortlessly as they had done it many years before. Processing how they ended up so weak, so stupid after abandoning their old passions for so long."

“What if I’m an exception?” Levi challenged, still a little annoyed at such an assumption and at such a long unsettling tirade.

Hange shook her head. “You’re not. For a while, I wanted to entertain the possibility that maybe you and I are exceptions, maybe we can easily jump from one passion to another. When I was watching you during therapy though. I saw the terror in your eyes, the frustration, the sadness. ‘Why isn’t my body moving the same way it used to?’ Maybe you don’t want to think back to jumping because you don’t want to see how quickly your body has forgotten the motions, how quickly it had lost the flexibility and the strength to carry you over the two meter bars…” Hange trailed off. She avoided his gaze and for a while she had been staring at the blank wall in front of her. For a second after that, she did look to him, and there was a glint of realization in that. Realization at what she had just implied possibly. "But you know what, you might just be an exception. Maybe I’m just projecting." Hange added a second later.

Levi was sure though from the quick change of tone that accompanied those last words that Hange probably didn't mean it. On top of that, having heard Hange's small lecture, Levi almost immediately realized he wasn't at all an exception.

Her voice had been light as she mentioned that last sentence. It could have been a thoughtless comment. Hange didn’t make too many thoughtless comments though. “Projecting?” Levi asked.

Hange let out a short light laugh “I’m talking too much, I should go back to work…” Her words seemed like a band-aid, a lazy coverup for whatever emotions had supported such a tirade in the first place.

Projecting? There was a reason behind that word use and Levi was more than eager to press on it.

Hange wasn’t listening anymore though. She was buried once again in whatever subject she had chosen to study for that night. She was in work mode again and she had gotten back to that mode as quickly as she had fallen out of it.

All questions can wait until after her exam week. Levi told himself. The word ‘projecting’ had stayed though. Hange’s words had left its mark and maybe it did have Levi reflecting on his own feelings, his own fear and his own frustrations at his regressing skills, the painful awareness of his body that was slowly forgetting the motions he had built over years. At the end of that tunnel of reflection, he did end up thinking back to that word.

Projecting. She had to be feeling something for herself to say something like that right?

Hange what are you projecting?

And that at least distracted Levi enough, enough for him to ignore the dull pain in his left knee, channel his focus elsewhere. The next few days, having been left alone in the apartment while Hange went about classes, lab work and library visits, Levi did manage to channel his energies to academics or to filling his gaps in his own stories: Levi Special Squad, the Beast Titan and something about some new rookies in the survey corps.

The pain in his knee never left though. It was nagging and annoying like a cavity. It was a pain Levi had assumed would disappear in time. His left knee had always been painful since the injury.

Yet, maybe his left knee had started to get a little frustrated at Levi’s negligence. Maybe it had started to get angry. It was a creature and Levi soon realized, it was a monster that demanded attention.

The night it demanded his attention so stubbornly, so angrily., it did it through sharp pains that coursed through him like bolts of electricity, it did it through a crushing sensation that left Levi almost unable to breathe.

And maybe it did have Levi hallucinating----Or could it have been dreaming--- of having saved one of his soldiers from being eaten by a titan.

A Tale of Two Slaves

“Connie!

“Captain!”

In his dreams, he had been too out of breath, or maybe a little too distracted to have reacted at the crushing pain that had spread through him like bolts of lightning. The dream was hazy that Levi doubted whether he had been completely rooted in anything or not.

He had been flying. He had been in pain. And he had been pushing past the pain, slicing at a titan in every direction. And when he had seen one of his soldiers unconscious, about to be eaten by a titan, he had jumped in between the titan and the soldier so instinctively, so desperately that the in-between had been a blur. He found himself in the midst of an excruciatingly painful ordeal. He gritted his teeth, biting back any attempt to scream. For god knows if he screamed, he might just run out of energy, he might just pass out.

When he woke up to the dark room though, he processed almost naturally the fact that the circumstances his reality had offered him were different. The view in the middle of the night, the faint sound of cars had been different. He wasn’t in a battle field and as if his body had been completely aware of that, it did push past his attempts to subdue any reaction.

Even before he realized it though, he had been screaming. Only when his throat burned and the sounds faded into a whimper, only when the tears started to run down his face, only when he closed his eyes and keeled over, a pathetic reaction to the bombardment of stimuli, did Levi realize the pain of having his leg almost bitten off by a titan was still there.

“Levi! I’m here. What’s going on? Are you okay?” Hange was right next to him. Beyond the pain, that was all he could process.

Hange hadn’t been there in the dream. God knows where Hange had been when he was flying from titan to titan. God knows where Hange had been when he found himself, jumping in between his fellow soldier and the titan that had lunged to eat him.

And god, it was painful. Even past the dream, even when he started to realize that Hange was right next to him at least in the dark room at 3am. The pain stayed and it was crushing his knee, it was leaving him unable to even take any sort of a decent breath, his own coping mechanism reduced to ragged breaths in between tears.

“Levi, breathe…”

How pathetic where his own breaths sounding for Hange to have to coach him like that?

“Oh god, Levi, we might have to get you to a hospital?”

How pathetic did he look for Hange to have to suggest a hospital visit? When she helped him up at least, when she slung her free arm over his shoulder and helped him to a sitting position, he did at least feel the unnatural weight on his left knee. What was going on?

Everything after that, came as a hazy dream. As hazy as the fight against the many unnatural looking titans. In that dream, Hange had been absent for some reason he could not yet comprehend. And Levi found himself trying to push it away, instead focusing on the Hange in front of him who had put a blanket over him, who had dialed a number on her phone and who was rattling off medical jargon to someone on the phone.

“Erwin… I…” Why would you need to call Erwin at three in the morning?

After that, Hange had helped put a hoodie over him, she had called one more number. And within a few minutes, Levi found himself lying down on a taxi, half conscious, only hanging on by a thread at the view of Hange under the dim light of the taxi and the city lights.

Somehow, he was terrified of falling asleep again. Hange hadn’t been there in the dream. And she might just disappear if he closed his eyes. As he unwillingly held on to the crushing pain in his knee and the view of Hange who sat next to him on the taxi, he was awake. Only barely, but barely was enough to not fall into another world of dreams, a world of wars and a state of complete chaos and confusion.

Eventually, he lost consciousness but it had been a gradual process.

He had lost some sense of time along the way, his body having been too focused on Hange. The darkness in the taxi had quickly shifted to the stark white of the hospital as he was helped onto a stretcher. Then along the way, he may have heard Erwin’s voice rattling off something about a swelling knee that was crushing his joints and a knee aspiration.

Then there was something about painkillers, an IV, a slight pain in his hand before everything enveloped him again. Maybe at his peripherals, Hange had been by his bedside.

It was a huge improvement at least from the messages of his own dreams. And maybe it was relief that finally had him letting go of his tight yet weak grip on reality. The crushing pain on his knee hadn’t been from a titan biting it off. Hange’s absence in the war had only been a dream.

The last few things he had processed then before completely letting the darkness enveloped him, may have been the sound of a laptop opening next to him, a few wires pattering on the floor below, the sound of the mouse and finally, the relaxing rhythmic clacking of the keyboard..

Hange was right next to him and she wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

A Tale of Two Slaves

“Sorry.” It came out as a croak but Levi was still hoping she heard it. Despite the haziness of the first few moments as he opened his eyes to the light streaming into the hospital room, despite the discomfort which came with a dry throat, it had been Levi’s first instinct to apologize.

Hange looked worse off than last night. He at least picked up enough images of her to know that there was a stark difference between the Hange of a few hours ago and the Hange then. The laptop hadn’t moved, it was still on the table next to his bedside, just like he had guessed it to be having fallen unconscious to the sound of the clacking of the keyboard.

Right then and there, Hange’s hair fell in chaotic waves, her glasses askew. And compared to last night where he saw panic, in front of him, he saw calm etched on her face, an ominous calm that somehow seemed even more alarming.

“Hange,” Levi said a little louder. The concern he felt only gave him the motivation to push past the discomfort of having just woken up. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you saying sorry? Hadn’t everything to this point been my fault?” Hange’s voice was soft, reflecting the ominous calm. It was cold, maybe even frozen. “"The reason the fluid built up in your knee was overexertion apparently. They’re guessing it was the physical therapy session last Saturday." Hange looked away. "I can't help but think... If I didn’t bring you to the tournament or talked to you about jumping , maybe you wouldn’t have pushed yourself too hard."

Levi had listened closely and he could have sworn he heard a crack in her voice. “But the fluid is gone right?” He asked. He noted that his knee was numb and to his relief, the pain had devolved into a dull ache, similar to the one he had been dealing with the past month. Not at all as alarming as it had been the night before.

Hange shrugged. “Maybe it’s the painkillers or maybe it’s the fact that they drained the wound. But don’t count your eggs before they even hatch. Your back to square one. All progress, out the window. Fuck this. Fuck all this. And you wouldn’t have been in this damn situation if he hadn’t fucked up way too many times. Was I pressuring you to jump? Was I pressuring you to recover quicker? Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned Elijah, or maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned MIkasa? Maybe I shouldn’t have let you go to that fucking meet in the first place.”

Levi kept quiet. Watching what had been Hange, leaving her laptop open on the table, watching her pace around the room, avoiding his gaze as she fell into her soft tirade had been unsettling. Even he couldn’t tell how it was making him feel. “It’s over. It happened. So many things had happened at once, it couldn’t have been anyone’s fault.”

“Fucking hell Levi, when I’m supposed to be writing about your injury, when I’m supposed to be writing every single bout of mini progress, writing out the mechanics of the injury… I can’t help but see… you were in no condition to jump. You were exhausted, your wounds from the first time we met were far from healed. But for fuck’s sake, if I had told you to wait it out a week, instead of letting you do jump after jump, maybe you’d be in class right now or maybe you’d be preparing for your next tournament… I don’t wanna write this anymore. I don’t wanna reduce whatever is going on inside you to a fucking case study.” Hange slammed her hand on her keyboard, and sat so violently on the chair, she had pushed it a few inches back.

“You need to graduate,” Levi said. What will Erwin think? What will your parents think?

“At this point, who cares? I’m miserable. I can’t fucking get anything written. I write a paragraph, I get self conscious and I delete it. I write out my interpretation of the numbers, of my findings, my gut wrenches then I delete it again."

“Take a break?” Levi weakly suggested.

Hange had laughed at that. The reaction came out of nowhere and Levi found himself speechless and maybe a little confused. Take a break? That had seemed like a natural suggestion. He had at least spent a good few seconds thinking in between listening to Hange’s rant to have come up with such a suggestion.

Either way, from the way Hange had laughed it off and slammed her laptop close, from the way she had sat back on the chair and looked at nothing in particular, the way she had avoided his gaze through the whole tirade and the fit that had followed, Levi was sure that had been the wrong thing to say.

A little ashamed at his own ability to have come up with something a little more comforting, Levi kept quiet. And for a second, he looked up at the own ceiling above him, and maybe distracted himself by appreciating the view from the wide hospital window, following the birds that were doing some sort of dance in the sky

For a moment, he did forget about Hange. She hadn’t helped at all to make herself any memorable, having kept silent.

The silence in that moment had been too peaceful, had been too otherworldly that it was only natural that it would be broken by even the softest and steadiest things.

Like an off-rhythm knock on the door.

“Hange?”

Levi recognized the voice even before his head popped up from behind the slightly opened door. “Moblit?”

Levi looked towards Hange. The latter sat unmoving on her seat, her head bowed down, her face unreadable. Even as Moblit opened the door a little wider and approached her, she hadn’t moved at all or even looked back to greet him. Levi bent over to get a better look at her and saw panic. A type of panic he had never seen before. Panic, confusion, maybe a little urgency. “Hange? Moblit’s here.” Levi managed to say. He kept his voice gentle, a natural gesture having to process Hange’s face at that moment.

“Hey Hange. Erwin told me you’d be here. The others were worried about you--- I was worried about you. You’re supposed to be presenting now."

Hange stayed silent. From what Levi could see, her face was frozen. Was that panic? Shock?

Moblit continued. "I explained your situation… They said they could push it back until this afternoon...You think you can make it?" Moblit paused as he got closer to her, as if waiting for her to say something. He had his phone out,as if ready to call the panelists at any moment.

"Hange. Go to the presentation," Levi said. It was difficult to bend over and make eye contact with her with her head bent down, her eyes downcast. He kept his words firm, hoping at least that was enough to reach her.

“I can’t…” She managed to say. She left her mouth half open, as if she had expected to say something after. She looked back up at Levi, then bit her lip. Levi could have sworn that was the first time he had seen her in such a loss of words yet at the same time, struggling to get something out.

“Hange, go. I’ll be fine…”

“You don’t understand, I can’t… present.”

“Hey, I’ll help you set up. We have until tonight.” Moblit scooched beside her on the table and typed out her password.

“No, you don’t get it, I have nothing…”

“Hey, I’ll help you get a powerpoint. We can revise your manuscript together. That’s what friends are for,” Moblit pressed as he pushed the laptop towards Hange. “Come on, type out your password.”

“No Moblit, there’s nothing in here. It’s over. I’ll try again next year.”

“It’s too early to give up Hange, remember how fast you got Elijah’s data processed? It helped me a lot.”

“You don’t get it do you?” Hange pulled the laptop towards her and angrily typed what could have been the password. The laptop booted to life and from where he sat, Levi made out the characteristic log in tone of the computer. “There’s nothing in the document. Just the introduction. No preliminary results. No observations. Nothing.”

Levi couldn’t see the screen from where he sat. But he did see the flashes of a changing screen through Moblit’s eyes. He could guess the results from the way Moblit’s jaw dropped and the way Hange just avoided both their gazes, keeping her eyes downcast.

Levi maneuvered himself to the side of the bed, getting Hange’s laptop at arm’s reach. His leg protested the action but that was the last thing on his mind. God forbid, what Moblit was seeing at that moment could have been Levi’s first assumption.

Hange… Didn’t you spend hours in the library getting everything written out?

Didn’t you spend whole days outside working in the lab?

Didn’t I fall asleep every night to the angry clacking of the keyboard?

Didn’t I wake up in the middle of the night to you in the dining room writing out your thesis?

She had been writing at least. The introduction, the review of related literature were all filled out. The methodology had been filled out. It was a far cry though from what she had made in high school. Each part had been furnished with links to sources, half completed sentences and maybe a few question marks here and there.

The observations and the results and discussions though, were all blank.

“Hange… You….” What were you doing? This can’t be it. Levi didn’t even know if he had said that last part out loud. His brain was on overdrive trying to prove his own quick conclusion wrong. He navigated through old versions of the document. His hands were quick, maybe they had been moving on their own and the PC couldn’t catch up.

A few times, Levi found himself tapping impatiently on the keyboard as the laptop loaded each version.

More links, more half completed sentences, and a very empty observations and results section. “We can get something written right? Help make a powerpoint? If we work together, we could get something presentable."

Moblit shook his head. He bent down next to Hange and spoke softly. “Does Erwin know about this?”

“I told him to just leave it to me… But I can’t. I can’t write this anymore.” Hange shook her head as she looked up at Moblit then up at him. There was some sort of a smile of resignation plastered on her face, reminiscent of the laugh of only a few moments ago.

That was what the laugh had meant when he had suggested the break.

Of course, she would laugh. There was no time for breaks. There was no time for work either. Hange was royally fucked.

Moblit left the room, neither Levi nor Hange asked for what. For a few more minutes, maybe for even an hour longer while Hange had been in her catatonic state, Levi did continue to look through her drafts, see what kind of sense he could make of the half complete sentences and the links to journals in her document with his limited knowledge on human anatomy.

His background had him very much unready to complete a thesis proposal on a technical subject he studied nothing about, let alone in the span of a few hours. Having been pumped with painkillers and sleeping drought only an hour before, his brain was in no state either to bullshit what he could. Despite all his desperate attempts to make sense of it, to write out something coherent, he found himself converting it back to the state he and Moblit had found it in.

Levi closed the laptop slowly and pushed it towards Hange. He was surprised and a little relieved to find that she did pull her weight, setting the laptop back on the table next to his bed.

Hange smiled at Levi and spoke up. “I appreciate you trying to do all this Levi but… I’ve given up already. I’m not getting this thesis done.”

It was a pained smile. A smile of resignation. A smile that was so clearly telling him that he had definitely wasted those last few minutes pouring through the versions of her document for nothing.

Levi took a deep breath and spoke up. “Then what’s your plan now?”

#levihan #levihan fanfiction

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i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend · 4 years

Text

Sexiled (Part 21/23) ~ Steve Rogers x Reader ~ College!AU

A/N: Hi my lovelies! Happy Friday!

Summary: Finals hell is upon them. Nothing ever goes to plan.

Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader; others mentioned

Rating: T

Warnings: Language probably, nothing really though. smidges of frustration. mostly FLUFF

Word Count: 1375

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

You really did wish that you could have stayed in that moment with Steve forever. Especially when you were catapulted right back into the final push for the semester as soon as you got back on campus.

On the plus side, Steve had toured Professor Erskine’s lab and fallen in love. He’d asked to start volunteering before they finished the visit and Erskine was thrilled to have him. Steve didn’t stop beaming for days. Although he wouldn’t officially start until next semester, he went in twice a week until classes ended for some trainings, which further limited your time together.

You were both so burnt out after classes ended, that the first day of the study period you binge watched the entirety of the Witcher without moving, only taking bathroom breaks.

On the second day of the study period, hour thirteen of studying you got asked a question that stopped you in your tracks.

“Will you go on a date with me?”

You looked up from your biology textbook in open confusion. “I’m sorry. What?”

“Will you go on a date with me?” the blonde asked with a grin.

You rolled your eyes and went back to your notes. “I think you’ve been studying too long.”

“Come on,” he pouted. “I’m serious.”

You put your highlighter down and stared at him.

“Steve. We’ve been dating for like two months.”

“I know.” He grinned. “But in all that time, I haven’t taken you on a proper date.”

“Huh,” you hummed as you thought about it. “I guess you’re right.”

“It’s a travesty really. So what do you say? Can I take you on a proper date?”

You cocked your head as you considered it.

“Hmm. I don’t know.”

“Please, sweetness.”

“I’d love to,” you finally agreed.

“Yes!”

You held up a finger to halt his celebrations.

“But not until after finals.”

His smile didn’t dim in the least.

“Deal.”

Over the course of the week, Steve would mention the upcoming date whenever he needed a study break, but refused to give any details.

“So what should I wear for our first date? Since you won’t tell me where we’re going,” you pouted at him two days before it would take place.

“Something nice.”

“Nice like I wore to the ballet or nice like I wore to meet your mom?”

“Hmm. Like what you wore to the ballet.”

“Ooh, so you are taking me someplace fancy.”

“Maybe. Or maybe I just like seeing you all dolled up.”

“If you take me to the dining hall while I’m in my favorite dress, I am going to be so mad at you.”

He laughed long and loud, but shook his head.

“I promise it’s not the dining hall.”

“No other hint though? Please?” You batted your eyelashes at him, but to no avail.

“Not even a little one.”

“Fine,” you huffed, leaning back in your seat.

“I promise it will be worth your while.”

“Spending time with you always is.”

After turning in your final writing portfolio, you were finally able to focus all of your attention on the Chemistry final. A group of eight of you met up in the library the day before the exam to review. As the day turned to night they packed it in one by one, until it was just you and Steve. It was well after three when the two of you finally called it quits.

“That is all of the information my brain can take in,” you groaned as you shut your binder.

“Same here,” Steve yawned, rubbing at his eyes. “We should try and get some sleep.”

“Probably a good idea.” You agreed nodding off in between words.

“Uh uh. Not here, sweetness,” he nudged you to your feet. “Come on. Pack up your stuff let’s get back to the dorm.”

Forgoing your usual organization, you shoved all of your study materials haphazardly into your backpack and slung it over your shoulder, blinking rapidly as you stood.

You were glad for the cold when you stepped outside of the library. It woke you up enough that you weren’t stumbling over your feet. Nevertheless, Steve took your hand, making sure to keep you on the inside of the sidewalk as you made the fifteen minute walk back to your dorm.

Unsurprisingly, there were a lot of people still awake as you made your way to the elevators. Some were cramming for exams while others were celebrating being done. You rolled your eyes at a group of particularly rambunctious fraternity pledges.

“So your room then?” he chuckled when you automatically pressed the button for your floor.

“Oh sorry. Did you want to go to yours?” you mumbled.

“No, it’s fine.”

“I just know Nat’s done with finals so she won’t be studying. She has an early-ish flight so she should be sleeping. But even if she’s still packing I’m tired enough to pass out with a strobe light,” you rambled.

Steve simply nodded.

You had just reached your door and were about to slot your key in when you heard a low grunt followed by a moan.

“Damn it,” you groaned.

“My room it is then.”

“Let’s go.”

You shuffled past the crowded common room back towards the stairs.

“Please tell I’m seeing things,” you almost cried.

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” he growled when he sported the sock on the door.

“Our friends suck.”

“Alright, come on. Let’s go to our spot at least then we’ll be close to the exam room.”

“Fine. Stupid horny roommates,” you grumbled under your breath.

You were relieved to find your usual study spot empty. Quickly shedding your hat, gloves, and parka, you flopped onto the sofa and pulled out your phone to set approximately thirty alarms for a mere three hours later.

Steve followed suit, settling for three alarms before slinging his arm around your shoulder and pulling his coat over the both of you.

“Good night, sweetness.”

You were already asleep.

“Come on, sweetness. Time to get up. The exam starts in an hour,” Steve murmured shaking you shoulder gently.

“Go away,” you groaned.

“No can do. But I have coffee to make you feel better.”

The smell of coffee started to penetrate your brain.

“Gimme,” you mumbled blindly reaching for the cup.

When you didn’t feel it in your hand and heard a low chuckle, you opened your eyes to glare at him.

“Gotta sit up for me.”

“You know you were a lot less annoying the last time I was sexiled.”

“And you were a lot nicer then. You called me cute. Maybe you were right about un-caffeinated y/n.”

You pulled yourself up into a sitting position as requested and Steve handed you the coffee. After two long pulls, you started to rejoin the land of the living.

“Thank you, handsome.”

“So I’ve been upgraded from cute to handsome. I’ll take it.”

You swatted at him weakly. “Can we take a nap after all this?”

“Absolutely.”

A few more sips and you were mostly awake, and you finally noticed the logo on the coffee cup. “Did you walk all the way back to the tower for this?”

“Nah, I guilted Bucky into bringing it since he sexiled us.”

“Ooh good call,” you commended.

“He apologizes by the way. Since we said we were going to sleep early, he assumed we were in your room.”

You hummed your acknowledgment, too tired to really care.

The two of you enjoyed a few quiet moments as you drank your coffee and the floors below started to fill up.

“We have less than three hours until we finish our first semester of college,” you remarked.

“That’s crazy. It’s been a hell of a semester.“

You patted Steve’s thigh absently.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Steve asked as he covered your hand with his.

“I’m just so glad Nat sexiled me that night.”

Steve’s smile was soft, almost lazy as he responded. “I am too.”

“I’m less glad she sexiled me last night. This couch killed my back.”

Steve chuckled low in your ear.

“I’ll fix it for you later.”

“My hero.”

You planted a quick peck on his lips before pushing yourself to your feet.

“Come on. I want to get my spot.”

“Yes ma’am.”

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed! Two more parts to go. lots of fluff and fun.

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#Sexiled #Steve Rogers x Reader #Steve Rogers #College!AU #college!steve rogers

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collecting-stories · 5 years

Text

Begin Again - Sonny Carisi

A/N: It took me forever to put this into words and I’m still not sure about the ending but I literally couldn’t think of anything else to say.

///

But on a Wednesday in a cafe, I watched it begin again. - Begin Again, Taylor Swift

Divorces were messy business, as your father had told you over the phone multiple times while also suggesting that you avoid said ‘messy business’ and just stay married. Stay married to a man who emotionally and mentally abused you every chance he was given since somewhere around the first two months of dating. Stay married to a man who cheated on you repeatedly. Stay married because that was the only thing you had ever done right in your whole sorry existence.

Your therapist, when you first moved to New York and after the trouble of finding a new doctor and getting new referrals and trying a few less than reputable places first, told you that you married your mother.

“Probably.” You’d agreed.

For even longer than you could remember subjecting yourself to marriage you had been forced to endure the onslaught of your mother’s never ending negative opinions about everything in your life. You cut your hair too short, you smoked cigarettes, you spent weekends at friends houses to avoid her wrath, and you fell right into every word your now ex-husband said because you wanted someone to tell you they loved you.

It was through frustration, after filing the first PFA and having it denied by the judge in the county of the small town where you lived, that you ultimately signed up for classes at the community college. And it was those classes that got you to NYC, a place you’d really only ever dreamed of, always intimated by the city.

“It’s just...I don’t know how to describe it.” You explained, waving the hand that wasn’t holding a cup of coffee as you walked through the park.

It was hard to believe, even for you, but the city had offered more than independence, freedom, and opportunity. In the final semester of your last year before the bar exam the city had given you another gift, in the form of one Dominick Carisi Jr. Detective, hopeful future lawyer, devout catholic, family man, and arguably the nicest person you had ever encountered. Three dates in and you were hooked.

“It’s a little intimidatin’.” And that accent, an onslaught of 30-some years living in Staten Island had gifted your ears with the pleasure of Carisi’s accent. It was something you never thought you’d appreciate but after spending days listening to him, either answering a question in one of your classes or talking about his nieces during a date, you were sure that voice was heaven-sent. A rather embarrassing borderline kink that you had so far withheld though you suspected he knew, given the smirk every time you zoned out when he was talking.

“You’re only saying that to make me feel better.” You replied, nudging him and smiling. Smiling was unavoidable when you were with Sonny. The first time he’d asked you out had been after a particularly grueling day and a test you had been cramming for.

You had been towards the back, packing your bag to go home, when Sonny had stopped at your desk, lingering until you gave him your attention. He was nice looking, you had always thought so. The first week of class you’d walked in to find him in a seat toward the front, suit pants and vest on with a white button-down shirt and tie. You thought he looked a little too nice to be taking night classes but maybe he had some sort of important job during the day. You always came straight from work at the legal firm three blocks away, sporting an endless wardrobe of pencil skirts and blouses. And you thought, possibly, that it was the suits that were so alluring about him. But then he’d shown up on a test day with jeans and a hoodie and his hair not so perfectly gelled and you’d still swooned so you knew it wasn’t just the suit.

The day he asked you on that first date he was in his suit again, complete with a jacket and you were sure you’d never been more attracted to a man’s legs before. The gray pants were really something though.

“Did you need something?” You asked, then frowned at the harshness of you own tone. Lack of sleep and stress over your divorce were really getting to you. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No sweat.” He smiled like it really was no big deal that you’d come off sounding annoyed by his presence. You weren’t. Surprised he was talking to you sure, but annoyed? Definitely not. “I was just wondering if you’d want to grab coffee sometime?”

And really you should say no because there is a whole house of skeletons that this poor guy has no idea exist but he looks so sweet and whether he is or not you could use a nice guy. So you nod your head, deciding to go against your better judgement or your worst case scenario judgement. “Yeah, yeah, of course. When did you have in mind?”

The first date was at a Starbucks and you explained your love of pumpkin spice lattes, no matter how ‘basic’ they made you. “It’s stupid I know, but I swear it’s not all hype. It really is a good drink.”

“I’m not arguing doll, my sister Bella gets ‘em all the time.” He mentioned as the line moved up. He ordered two venti pumpkin spice lattes and two pumpkin scones, encouraging your deep love of autumn flavors and, despite your protest, he paid. “Got the app.” He shrugged like the high-priced goods were no big deal as he held his phone out for the girl behind the counter to scan.

“Well thanks.” You replied, moving down the counter with him. There were things you wanted to say. You thought about telling him how your ex-husband never would’ve paid for coffee, just rolled his eyes that you wanted to buy some when there was ‘perfectly good coffee at home’. He would’ve made fun of your right there in the Starbucks with everyone around for wanting a pumpkin spice latte. But instead you listened to Sonny telling you how he brought his nieces here sometimes after mass as a treat.

Sonny liked to talk and you liked to listen. It kept you from saying stupid things that didn’t matter about your ex-husband and your life prior to New York. You weren’t keeping things from him, just enjoying the newness of the relationship. The only good advice your mother had ever given you was telling you that the way a person acts in the beginning of the relationship is their best behavior. So whatever’s bad will only get worse. As far as your ex-boyfriend was concerned that was completely true. With Sonny you couldn’t imagine it getting worse.

Five weeks into dating each other Sonny breached the idea of introducing you to his family. “My ma was wondering if ya wanted to come to mass with us on Sunday?” He asked. Dinners had shifted from rarely being at one another’s apartments to always being at one another’s apartments. Sonny’s Italian food was to die for and you had some pretty amazing cooking skills yourself.

“Alright.” You thought you’d be more nervous. That meeting Mr. and Mrs. Carisi would be the most intimidating thing in the world but the more time you spent with Sonny the more you wanted to know everything about him. You were actually eager to meet his family.

“Yeah?” Sonny asked, almost disbelieving.

“Yeah, I’d love to meet your family.”

You weren’t the only one who was excited about meeting his family. Sonny hadn’t brought someone home to meet his mom and dad since he was in high school. He just couldn’t seem to mesh with anyone. There were plenty of first dates but they never went further than that. Either his job was too demanding or he was too overbearing or he thought too far into the future. However, it was Sonny had spent a significant portion of his dating years being told that he was too much by the people he went out with. And he always felt like that, a nag in the back of his brain that said he was either too much or he wasn’t enough.

But you didn’t make him feel that way. He’d worried himself over asking you out for weeks until Rollins finally told him she would find him a new partner if he didn’t ask you. So, he did, shaking and second guessing himself and thinking that the beautiful girl who sat in the back of his class was never going to want to go out with him but it was worth a shot. And you’d smiled so bright when you realized he was inviting you on a date. You accepted and somehow he was talking about mass on Sunday with his family.

“Are we going anywhere after mass?” You asked, cleaning the dishes from dinner. The record player you had by the couch playing softly in the background. “Like should I bring something.”

“Nah, ma’s gonna do a big dinner.” Sonny replied, grabbing your hand as you walked back to the small kitchen table to grab the rest of the plates. He pulled you down on his lap and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“I still feel like I should bring something. It’s your parents,” you explain, “I mean, it’s your parents, I wanna make a good impression.”

“They’ll love ya, trust me.” He needed no convincing words or reassurances he knew his parents would love you because he loved you and because he’d told them about you enough times that they felt like they already knew you.

“What about that apple cake I made for Amanda’s birthday?” You suggested.

You’d met the squad by accident on a date with Sonny but now it felt like you’d always known them. The life you had in New York had changed who you were as a person. It had made you more confident, more outgoing, happier. The shell you had built around yourself to protect your sanity from your family and your ex-husband had been chipped away at by Sonny and by your own independence.

“I’ll ask ma,” He replied, “I do like that apple cake.”

The song on the record player ended and the quiet scrape of the needle against the vinyl had you getting up to flip it to the other side. You heard the sound of Sonny’s chair move back as he no doubt started cleaning the rest of the dinner plates. It was nice.

This is the thing, I don’t know how it is.

#sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi fanfiction #sonny carisi fanfic #dominick sonny carisi imagine #dominick sonny carisi fanfiction #sonny carisi x reader #law and order: svu fanfiction #law and order: svu fanfic #law and order: svu imagine #collecting stories imagine #cs discography series

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swellwriting · 6 years

Text

You found me.

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

Warnings: none

Request: can I request Draco x female reader imagine? students are on break and girl convinces Draco to visit her home in the muggle world. they go shopping, visit museums, drink hot chocolate, go to the cinema... at the end of the day they are back in the girl's home and search through her old Hogwarts memories. later they are cuddled up and have sweet conversations🥰

Word Count: 3.7k

A break from college was much needed at this point in the semester, between exams and final projects you were glad to have a week where you could literally do nothing and not feel guilty about it. The week prior was spent surviving on a diet of 60% caffeine and 40% muffins with a mix of only 5 hours of sleep at most, but it was worth it for this stress-free break.

You lied in bed staring at the ceiling, you had just woken up of your own volition instead of by an alarm clock for the first time in months. Your mind raced with all the things you could do today, you could go to the coffee shop and enjoy having your morning drink there instead of racing out the door with it, you could read for pleasure in your own bed instead of the stuffy library with the weird mildew smell, or you could go shopping. The ideas drifted through your head as you weighed which was more favourable to yourself.

You got out of bed, grabbed a knitted sweater off the floor and pulled it over your shoulders walking to the kitchen in your small flat to get some cereal. As you crunched on the sugary breakfast food you continued pondering, you looked at the calendar on the wall to see something scribbled in red ink on today's date. It read: renew apparition licence today!

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath. That would be a good chunk of today's time wasted on long lines at the Ministry. You shrugged accepting the fact that you needed your apparition license, you needed to apparate to class at least a few times a week when you were running late and you couldn't afford to possibly pay the fine of being caught with an out of date licence. Not that you ever would get caught, attending a school full of muggles meant you only apparated into empty bathroom stalls and broom closets, but it was better safe than sorry.

Once you rinsed out your bowl you made your way to your room, your flat was small, deemed student housing making it was fairly cheap, so you wouldn't complain. The small closet in your room had a dresser crammed into it and hangers full of clothes on top, it was great being able to wear whatever you wanted, as long as it was reasonably appropriate, to school every day. You grabbed a pair of light wash jeans and slid them on, pulling the high rise pants up past your belly button, you slid a thin black long sleeve shirt on and tucked it in fastening the button, you grabbed your bag and a sweater before sliding your boots on and running out the door, better to get there early and get this over with.

Sadly, that's what many people had in mind as well. When you apparated into the main entrance of the Ministry you were met with the crowds of people making their way through the busy building. You looked at the signs and tried to find the licence renewal line and make your way there. You hadn’t had to do this since you turned 16, you got it a week after your birthday, though you weren't legally allowed to apparate until 18. You wondered if you would see anyone you knew here, anyone from Hogwarts with a birthday near yours that would also have to renew their license around now. As you walked, staring up at the signs trying to find the way you bumped into someone else who had been staring at their feet as they walked.

You noticed his polished black shoes first, as your eyes drifted up you saw a perfectly pressed white button up and then your eyes met his, a shade of silver just as you had remembered them.

“I'm sorry.” Where the only words that came out of your mouth as your mind raced, it had been over two years since you had last seen your old acquaintance from Hogwarts.

“It's alright.” He answered plainly making the conversation go nowhere but you both still stood there waiting for something to happen.

The large crowd seemed to part around the two of you as you stood in place looking up at him expectantly, but for what, you weren’t sure. From Draco you didn't expect a warm hug like you would from a different classmate, you expected perhaps a handshake, the general courteousness of a pompous rich boy like himself, instead he smiled awkwardly at you, “Hello, Y/n.”

“Hello, Draco.” You replied formally repeating his greeting to him, unsure of where the two of you stood.

The two of you weren't friends in Hogwarts, to say that would be a stretch but for a moment you wondered what would define a friend to Draco and though perhaps in his mind, you might fit the bill. You were kind to him, kind to everybody actually, you were potion partners for three years in a row at the end of Hogwarts and he once even bought you a hot chocolate at The Three Broomsticks when you ended up at the same large table with mutual friends. So even though it hadn't really crossed your mind maybe he did see you as a friend from school, more than you saw him as a just an old classmate.

“Do you work here?” He asked gesturing to the building you were both standing in.

“Oh no, I'm in school actually, the University of London, second year.” You said awkwardly. You hadn't seen many old friends from Hogwarts, you ahdnt looked forward to telling anyone from your old magical school that you had chosen to go to a muggle school, especially not someone like Draco. Even if you had heard that he changed, you had seen it a bit yourself in the last years of Hogwarts.

Draco raised a brow like he had no idea what you were talking about so you decided to further explain yourself to the boy with such a narrow world view, “Its a muggle school.”

He nodded and then looked confused again before asking, “Then what are you doing here?”

“Well I'm still a witch Draco,” you said it with no malice instead you gave a lighthearted chuckled before continuing to explain yourself, “I have to renew my apparition license, but I'm having trouble finding it.”

“Oh me too, I just got told its downstairs, here let me show you.” He said before turning and walking the direction the lady at the desk had just told him, he looked back every now and then to make sure you were still behind him, not daring to grab your hand. He seemed nervous and uneasy, to top it off he looked pale, paler than usual.

When you got to the line he stopped, “I guess a lot of people are here for the same thing.”

“I guess so.” You answered awkwardly as he stepped aside for you to go in front of him in the line, you smiled and quietly said thank you before turning to face the front. After a few minutes of awkward silence, the line had only moved a smidge. You decided it would be best to let the time pass with conversation, you turned swiftly to face Draco which seemed to surprise him.

“How are you?” You said abruptly, forcing a friendly smile on your face.

“Me? Oh, I'm good, yeah good.”

“Just good? Are you working somewhere or?”

“No.” He answered awkwardly fidgeting with his hands, “I'm rather uninteresting actually, how are you?”

“I'm good, stressed out beyond belief, well I'm sure you've felt similarly distressed.” You commented, meaning to relate to your mutual schooling at Hogwarts and being stressed for OWLS and such but by the look of bewilderment on his face, you knew he assumed you meant stress from the war or something regarding his trial.

“I mean, stressed from school, like at Hogwarts for OWLs, College is similar, actually less difficult really, but it's still a lot.”

“Oh, of course, yeah, schools always stressful.”

Your conversation was interrupted when you noticed Harry Potter walking out of a doorway with the sign “Department of Magical Law Enforcement” overhead. He quickly noticed Draco and walked over, it was hard to miss that platinum blonde hair.

“Draco! How are you?”

“Good, you?” He replied, he still looked just as uneasy when talking to Harry, you assumed they had become friends since you read that Harry testified for him at his trial.

“Good.” He said with a nod before noticing you, “And Y/n hello.”

“Hi, Harry.” You said, it was weird, you were never friends with him at Hogwarts. He would have never said hi to you if you weren’t stood beside Draco.

“Are you guys here together?” Harry asked as he looked at Draco expectantly.

“Now we just ran into each other, renewing our licenses,” Draco said, and you just nodded.

Harry’s smiled deflated a bit as he patted Draco on the shoulder. “Well, you should get out more often, other than renewing license’s and stuff, come by sometime soon!” Harry said before waving goodbye to you and then walking away.

“That was awkward.” You commented not meaning to let it slip out, you covered your mouth with your hand.

Draco chuckled, a genuine smile spreading across his face, “What and this is not?”

“Well, sort of, but it'd be awkward if I saw anyone from Hogwarts, it's not specifically because it's you. Regardless, you seem uneasy, like you don't want to be here.”

“Do you want to be here?” He asked and you shook your head.

“No, but you seem more nervous to be here than just generally annoyed like I am.”

“I just feel like, I don't know how to talk to people, I am a very different person from when I last spoke to you, for example, I don't know how to be me now. It sounds weird but it's just, I don't know. I feel like everyone everywhere is staring at me all the time and everyone hates me.” Draco confessed, sounding so honest and real that it almost scared you.

“You shouldn't care what people think.”

“Y/n, I haven't changed THAT much.” He said with a smile and you laughed.

Before you could say anything back to him the lady at the desk called out for the next person in line, which you hadn't realized until now was you.

Draco got called to the desk beside you and you both turned to each other when you were finished, standing there awkwardly again, unsure of what to do.

“I should go.” You said quietly as you stood out of the way.

“Yeah, me too, busy day ahead of me.”

“Busy? What do you have to do?” You asked, wondering what Draco Malfoy did if he didn't work.

“Sit in the manor, alone. Actually.” He tried to say it as a joke but the sadness in his eyes was telling.

“I actually have a few things to do, if you want to tag along, you know if the whole brooding alone thing can wait.”

“I can reschedule it actually,” he said with a thin smile, you could tell he was holding himself back from smiling wider, not wanting to seem too excited to actually have something to do.

You grabbed his hand and apparated back into the living room of your flat, it was small, like every room. There was a large window that took up most of the wall and looked down on part of London, you were a few floors up so you had a teeny tiny balcony as well. You had a bright patterned couch that you found on sale and textbooks and notes covering your coffee table, as well as many half drunk cups of tea.

“Sorry for the mess, I have to take a day to clean sometime this week.” You said gesturing to the mess before grabbing the sticky note attached to your fridge with a list of basic groceries you needed. You stuck the sticky note to Dracos neat white shirt, “hold this for me,” he looked down and peeled it off his shirt with a grin, holding the small list in his hands.

-almond milk

-bread

-muffins

-tea bags

-pasta

He read it over, what a weird shopping list, it was so normal. He looked at you as you grabbed your bag and walked over to the door, waving your hand for him to follow. As you walked down the stairs he had to ask, “Where are we getting these things? Why don't we just apparate?”

“We are going to the grocery store, and we are walking because it's nice outside for one and because muggles don't take kindly to someone magically appearing in front of their cart in the cereal aisle.”

Draco nodded trying to understand, he had never been to a grocery store in his life, he always had someone to do that for him. There was a small grocery shop a block away from your flat, you grabbed a basket instead of a cart and walked to where you knew, the things you needed, to be. You quickly grabbed them as Draco followed you like a lost puppy dog.

“This is really all I have to get done today, but I should take you to more muggle places, you seem confused and scared but in the way someone fears something unknown to them, when we were at the ministry you looked anxious and scared but in the way that you were scared of the people around you.” You paused for a moment thinking he would say something but he stayed silent so you continued. “The muggles? They don't care about you, they don't even know who you are, you will only get weird looks for wearing dress clothes in the middle of spring while walking on the streets.”

“So my attire is not muggle appropriate?”

“No, it's perfect of sulking in your house where only the house elves will see you, but it's terrible for literally anything else, except maybe a pureblood party.”

“This would never be suitable for a pureblood party, this is too dressed down,” he scoffed and you raised a brow at him as to tell him he was being too stuck up and posh, he mumbled a sorry in acknowledgment under his breath. “What would you suppose I wear?”

As the two of you stood in the checkout line you placed your items on the counter and turned to him trying to work with what you had. You raised a hand up slowly to his hair and paused looking him in the eyes before daring to touch it, he nodded his head giving you permission to mess up his perfectly gelled back platinum hair.

You dug your fingers in and shuffled them back and forth until his hair was less stuck in place and more tousled, falling to one side and sticking up in a few places, perfectly messy which made Draco already look like a whole new person.

Then as you still stood in the checkout line in the middle of a busy grocery shop you moved closer to him and undid a few buttons off the top and pulled his shirt untucked, you then rolled his sleeves up giving him an instantly more casual look. “That's the best that I can do,” you said with a smile.

As you paid for your food Draco whispered from behind you so the clerk wouldn't hear, ‘You made me look ridiculous didn't you?”

“No you look very handsome I promise.” You said without even thinking.” Draco’s cheeks turned light pink at that and he stood in shock, staring at the clerk behind the counter for a minute before he realized you had walked away.

He hurried to catch up with you and took your bag out of your hand to carry it for you, but as you got outside finding an unusually empty sidewalk you took the bag back from him and in a snap, it disappeared, being sent to your kitchen counter.

“So you buy groceries the muggle way, but you use magic at your own convenience.”

“Though this is a Muggle shop, wizards buy groceries too Draco, you just have house elves for such things.” You teased and he frowned realizing his view of a wizarding life varied from yours and others quite a bit.

“So, what other muggle things are we going to do then?”

“You actually want to? You have changed quite a lot then, you won't be too disgusted by them or too busy thinking you are superior to them?”

“My parents are still very much that way, and though I wouldn't want them to know what I was currently doing, I have no issue with it.”

“And if your parents knew you were willingly spending your day with a half-blood?”

“They'd probably faint but I don't care.”

“Ooh, Draco Malfoy. Ever the Rebel.” You teased as you stopped walking in front of the small museum you had always opposed but never gone to. “Care to be super rebellious and learn a little bit about Muggle history?”

Draco shrugged as he followed you inside, you walked in silently looking at the different exhibits, the one about past wars, the dinosaurs, some old statues and near the end there was a small art gallery with historic paintings. Draco was looking at one of some detailed building, an old castle of some sort when he heard you start laughing, it would be very disruptive had anyone else been in there.

“What's so funny?” He asked as he walked over and then frowned when he saw the painting, it was of a young man with white hair and a large frown on his face, he wore some old time clothes and it very much resembled Draco. “Oh, Merlin.”

“Nope, doesn't look like Merlin to me,” you paused bending over in laughter as Draco looked at you completely unamused, “looks like you.”

“Oh shut up,” he said as he finally let a smile crack. Now that you had seen he wasn't actually upset at finding his painting doppelganger you grabbed his shoulders lightly and moved him to stand beside it, you backed up admiring the resemblance and then burst out laughing again.

“It's uncanny really.” Then your mouth opened as you came to a great realization, you had a camera with you, you shuffled through your bag and felt it in your hands, before pulling it out you looked at Draco with a pleading smile. “Please.”

“What?” He asked looking a bit scared.

You pulled the camera out and hid your face behind it, he breathed loudly letting out a huff. “Fine.”

You looked into the viewfinder and framed the photo, it was perfect. You clicked it, making sure the flash was off to not draw attention from any security guards.

As soon as you pulled the camera down he moved away from the painting, you walked up beside him moving on to the exit and out to the sidewalk.

“That was fun.”

“Ah yes, fun. You making fun of me is very fun.”

“I'm not making fun of you, I'm having fun with you, there’s a difference, even if you're not used to the latter.”

“I have fun,” he argued.

“When is the last time you had fun with someone and you weren't making fun of someone else?”

“Probably potions class with you?” he said honestly, almost like a question. You smiled at that, it was such a cute thing to say even if it was just his honest thoughts.

“I guess that counts, this is better though.” You smiled as you turned into a shop, holding the door for Draco to walk in behind you.

“Hot chocolate? I need a break from my caffeine binge of last week. I’ll buy this time if you buy next time.” You said with a smile and Draco agreed, going to find the two of you a table by the window.

“If you want me to pay next time we will have to visit the three broomsticks or something, I might be rich in the wizarding world but to muggles my money is rubbish.” He commented.

“Sure, I've been dying to go back there anyways I haven’t been in so long.”

“Last time I was there was when we pushed two tables together, it was right before the big battle at Hogwarts, maybe a week before, we were all so stressed and nervous that it didn't matter who was sat at the table, Slytherins sat there, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws and even Gryffindors, it was fun complaining about school and the war together, it was like group therapy.”

“You bought me a hot chocolate that night.” You said with a smile as you sipped your sweet drink.

“I remember that.”

“A weird act of kindness for the then Draco Malfoy.”

“Well, I felt like you deserved it, you looked stressed.”

“I was stressed, we all were.”

“But you were the only one I really cared about, the others could fuck right off if I'm being honest.”

“Did Draco Malfoy just say he cared about me?”

“You were always kind to me, patient, even when I didn't deserve it,” he admitted as he sort of his behind his drink, taking small sips.

“Everybody deserves a bit of kindness.”

“And here you are, being kind yet again even though I haven't talked to you for over two years, I thought about it but I never had your address anyways.

“Well, you found me now.” You said with a smile and he smiled back, genuine, all toothy with no holding back for his reputation.

“Let's go see a movie, I'm out of ideas after that.”

“A muggle movie I assume.”

“Yep, with muggle snacks and muggle actors and everything, the full experience, even chewed muggle gum under the seats!”

“I don't even want to inquire on that last part.” He said as you both stood up and walked over to the movie theatre down the street, preparing to stuff your faces with overly buttery popcorn and bubbly soda drinks.

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sevenfactorial · 5 years

Text

How I Write Class Notes

First of all, I totally forgot that I said I’d do this and I’m really sorry about that.

So my note taking is specifically designed for upper-level math classes since that’s what I do the most but my notes for CS and many other classes still take a similar form, just with less things labeled theorems (also with more bulleted lists. I love bulleted lists but I use them way less in math notes than any other class). This also works for reading textbooks or papers independently. If you want info specifically for lower level math classes (high school up through calc 3), I can see what I can do too.

Here’s a very basic summary of what I think is most important for note taking

Feasible (ie simple and fast enough for you). You want to be able to keep up your system even at points where your class is going absurdly fast or when you’re exhausted/having trouble focusing/etc

Easy to skim. Just writing things down at all is good for retention but if you’re taking notes, you probably want to be able to read them later easily. So it needs to be easy to pick out key definitions/theorems/etc.

In that vein, include necessary assumptions even if it does feel repetitive.

Don’t cram things together. Allow for white space (again, so skimming is possible)

Label things. Major topics, definitions, theorems, key ideas especially. Also make it obvious that a proof or example is a proof/example.

All of it is together one way or another, whether that’s a digital file, paper in a folder/binder/etc, or a notebook. Keeping it together is extremely important to me.

A detailed description and more thoughts are under the cut.

I’m very basic about my notes and am not always fully consistent (I have an indentation problem which occasionally irritates me but I’ve decided it’s not worth it to obsess over), but I try to be and generally have a structure for my notes. If you were to flip through even my recent notebooks you’ll find deviations but that’s just how it goes.

I don’t actually have any of my old class notes with me right now so I wrote the following to give a sense of what my notes tend to actually look like. I wrote it on loose leaf but normally I take notes in a composite notebook. I find I consistently take 30-45 pages (1 page = front and back) per class per semester (I’ve also taken less) so I find the halfway point and do two classes per notebook to decrease number of notebooks I’m carrying around. If you have two semester long classes, account for that so that you don’t end up having alg I and II in different notebooks like I do.

(I typed more or less what I wrote afterwards but there’s really no way I’m recreating the formatting on a tumblr post)

First of all, this is a fair bit neater than my actual notes are. One of my best friends can barely read my normal handwriting at all and this is a bit neater than that. But if you can’t read it still, I don’t blame you at all so,

Date goes in the top right column at the beginning of every single class. It helps when you’re flipping through to find something later and also forces me to be somewhat aware of the date from day to day (further discussion on dates later)

I underline chapter/section titles/topics and include the the relevant textbook section numbers if given. This varies according to how my professors introduce topics generally.

Also I will generally just skip two or three lines between sections but will start at the top of a new page for chapters.

Some of my professors start off topics by giving an overview of what we’re looking at and motivations and the like so I just write “Idea:” and follow it up with whatever the professor is giving me.

Definitions: Typical in most subjects, I shorten it to “def” on the left of the margin line and start writing on the same line

I used to like starting out with the word itself but I often find it awkward in math notes so I just underline it in the statement (and highlight later)

Even though it’s a pain, I make a point of restating assumptions pretty constantly because it’s really useful if you’re studying from notes later.

Some typical things to follow up definitions include notation, warnings, and sometimes an intuitive way of thinking about it that may not completely capture all the details of the statement. I just do “thing:” for everything except the later, which I just write in quotes

Don’t forget, definitions are always if and only if statements. This is something you’re generally vaguely aware of from early on but perhaps don’t actually fully realize until some random point (I did that and heard of several others doing it too)

Theorems: The other mainstay of math. Honestly, I’m pretty sure everything’s ultimately a theorem, definition, axiom, or example

I give theorems a label of “THM” on the left. I can’t really explain why I write it in capital letters here but if I write theorem within a statement or example or something, I’ll use a lowercase “thm”

Like for definitions, make a point of rewriting assumptions.

Just overall, I try to keep my “paragraphs” short, one to three lines, before leaving the rest of the line blank and indenting the next one in order to increase whitespace

Lemmas/Corollaries/Other words which exist: I tend to put their label on the right side of the red margin line and indent their content more. I’m not super consistent with them, though make sure to indicate end of lemmas if your theorem goes “theorem - start proof - lemma - proof of lemma - finish proof of theorem”

If a diagram is useful, I tend to stick them to the right and write around it best I can. I’ll generally wait until after class to add color if it’s useful but occasionally, if class is going relatively slow or the colors REALLY matter then I’ll grab colored pens as quickly as possible

Also, my professors tend to not shy away from longer proofs and are not always the best of keeping track of time so that means we end class in the middle of proofs more often than ideal

I will just continue right along with the proof but shove the date at the right of the first line on the next day.

When we end at more reasonable places, I tend to skip a line, date on the right, resume on the next line

Unless I end within the last 8ish lines, then I’ll often start on the next page

Some things to consider that I didn’t write in the example:

I converted to writing in pen at the beginning of the summer (I’ve had a few lectures at the beginning of my REU but it’s not quite the same as class). Don’t be worried about scribbling out if you’re using pen. If you want prettier notes, rewrite them later. It’s a good way of studying anyways.

Also consider typing them up (tex for math) to have a searchable reference for later (studying/future classes).

I write up definitions and theorems before exams in colorful pen to study. Usually just on copy paper. The color is mostly just for fun since i’m probably stressed at the time.

I feel like a lot of math students do use pen exclusviely? idk. Use whatever you feel most comfortable with. When I used pencil, I did a combo of erasing and scribbling out, depending on the pace of the class.

If you are in the market for pens, G2 pens seem to have a bit of a following and honestly, I get it. They’re really good and within typical prices for disposable pens (you can order refills online and it makes them even cheaper). I also love papermate’s felt tips (they’re what I use for colored pens) but you can see them from the other side of the paper far more so I don’t find them appropriate for note taking.

Don’t be afraid to write notes in the margins (I usually use the left margin at an angle but like, wherever it fits works too). Often these are comments to myself.

Having a way to indicate things you want to look up later or exercises your professor suggested is good. I usually put a star on the red margin line at those points.

I try to keep a def/thm/proof on the same page but it’s really hard to always anticipate the length of things so I try but don’t worry about it too much.

Use shortenings when you can but make sure you remember them and that you’re not actually spending more time recalling the abbreviation than you would just writing it out

I find the most common abbreviations in math are first three letter of the word, first four letters, or first three and last letter

I don’t think flat out trying to use someone else’s note taking system is really the best. You’ll have to take more time than you probably have to remember the formatting. However, getting ideas from others is often useful. I don’t know why I started doing most things I do but I know that some of my habits came from seeing my friends or professors do it.

I think I mostly just use typical organization methods and nothing particularly interesting/novel but I hope it was still useful to some people.

#university tips #school tips #study tips #seven's study tips #university life #math class tips #also sorry that the cut didn't work idk technology is hard #long post

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jadekitty777 · 5 years

Text

Cram Session

Alright, the final day is here – and you better believe I’m ready to burst with excitement! I have not been able to calm down all week!

So, to cap things off, let’s go for a ‘feel good’ one, yeah? This one’s all about friendship and teamwork.

Rating: K

Word Count: 2200

Summary: With the looming threat of his entire team being failed if he does, Tai finds himself desperately trying to absorb every bit of knowledge he can before the big test. Unsurprisingly, it’s not going well – but at least Qrow’s there to offer some moral support.

Ao3 Link: Cram Session

The fluctuation of hormone levels from pure dust injection in the human body was found to have different effects depending on many factors including the following: Age, weight, aura level,…

The tapping of his pencil kept time with the ticking clock as Tai read through the scientific journal, trying to absorb as much as he could. He needed to get a good grade on this test; he was doing horribly in his Analytical Dust Chemical Bonding class. Just the name of it was daunting – but the actual lessons were brutal. He’d never gotten so many bad marks in his life. One more and he was going to fail the class. While that wouldn’t be the end of the world on its own, there was just one teensy-weensy, itty-bitty little problem:

If he failed, the rest of his team did as well.

No pressure there or anything.

He believed that the dire consequences was all about promoting teamwork – some philosophical mumbo-jumbo about how if they let a partner fall behind in class, they’d let them fall behind on the field too. He wouldn’t even say he disagreed with the idea, but it certainly didn’t account for people like Qrow and Raven, who had virtually no prior schooling experience. Not to say they were dunces – put them on the field and they’d ace nearly any training exercise. But the minute a pen was in their hand and a book in their lap, they suddenly seemed like the stupidest people in all of Beacon.

It was Summer who had figured it out. Their history teacher had called on Qrow to answer a question on the board. He had squinted for a few moments, before saying, “I can’t.”

“You don’t know the answer?”

“Nah, just can’t read your handwriting.”

At the time, Tai hadn’t thought anything of it; but as the teacher read off the question, Summer sat up straight in her seat, looking as if she’d just solved an enigma. Later that day, she called for an impromptu ‘team meeting’.

He remembered how she paced, looking troubled, before finally whirling on the twins. “Look, I’m just going to be direct about this. You two can’t read, can you?”

Tai was so caught off guard by the announcement his mind was struggling to catch up. The siblings, however, had no such issue, going from bored to alert in a blink. “What nonsense are you spouting? How do you think we filled out our transcripts?” Raven counterargued.

“Bribery.” Summer replied without missing a beat. “Just like you’re doing with Oobleck.”

“It’s called working smarter, not harder.” Qrow quipped.

“No, it’s called cheating.” She retorted. “And it’s not going to carry you through the next four years.”

“Don’t know if you don’t try.”

“And anyways, last I checked, we were here to fight Grimm.” Raven added. “Who cares about the written stuff?”

Summer started ticking off points on her fingers. “How are you guys going to write the papers? Do the presentations? Take the finals?”

That seemed to knock out some of their bluster as they shared an uncertain glance. It seemed the exact scale of what they needed to worry about had never occurred to them – but how could it of? They couldn’t read the lesson plan. “We’ll figure it out.” Raven finally said, shrugging it off.

Summer looked between them, huffing like a bull about to charge.

Tai was the one who found his voice first. “Are you sure that’s the decision you want to make?”

“Oh great, now you have something to say?” Qrow snipped, his casual tone shifting to something more caustic.

Deliberately avoiding the obvious goad, he continued, “Look, there’s no shame if you don’t know how to read or write. There’s only shame in not being willing to learn.”

“You’re a regular ol’ walking proverb, you know that?”

“I have a book filled with them. I’ll let you read it when you can.” He finally shot back, getting to his feet. “But you’re not going to get anywhere if you don’t try. So, either you lower your pride and ask us for help, or you fail. Your choice.”

Summer intervened, gentle yet firm. “You guys must have come to this school for a reason. You have to decide if that reason is worth working hard for.”

Nothing had happened right away, and after a few days, Tai was pretty sure the twins were going to stick it out on their own. Then, one day, while he and Summer were studying in the library, the two had walked right up to their table and demanded their ‘supplementary lessons’ (Raven absolutely refused to call it help).

As it turned out, neither of them were completely illiterate, but their handwriting was atrocious and the level they could read at was on par with a seven-year old’s. So, Summer got them comprehensive reading books to strengthen their vocabulary and stencils to help them with their letters. It was torturously slow-going at times, and he had worried the whole process would be agonizingly painful, as he’d expected every lesson would be nothing but their attitude dialed to eleven – and it had been. At least, at first.

But as the weeks passed, the twins seemed to be less focused on irritating their teammates and more focused on actually learning. Qrow had an insanely good memory, so he was picking up new words and how to apply and spell them by the buckets nearly every week. For Raven, what she lacked in memory she made up for in pure fortitude as she rewrote and reread until she got it right. And though he’d never dare tell them, it was kind of adorable seeing one of Raven’s little smiles or hearing Qrow’s soft ‘Oh’ whenever they understood something.

To his own surprise, Tai discovered he had a bit of a fondness for teaching. There was just something so uplifting about helping the twins work through a problem and see them get it and realizing it was him who helped get them there. It made him really look forward to their time together. It was nice, just being able to sit down together, just the four of them, laughing and helping one another. It finally felt like they were a team.

More than that even - like they really were friends.

He wasn’t going to mess that all up by failing this exam.

The mesolimbic dopaminergic system seems to have a habit of creating new pathways in the ventral striatum…

“The what in the what?” He groaned, letting his head thump onto his desk. How was he going to get all this by Monday?

The door opening had him shooting back up. He expected the rest of his team to walk in, but was surprised when it was just Qrow. He was polishing off the remains of a cookie – Summer’s idea. She thought a reward system would be a good motivator. The twins had rolled their eyes about it, reminding their leader they weren’t children; yet, every cookie earned was mysteriously gone by the end of the session.

“Yo.” He greeted around the mouthful.

“Hey. Done already?” Tai replied, glancing at the clock. It wasn’t even late afternoon yet.

“Nah.” Qrow said, dropping his book bag onto the desk adjacent Tai’s. “Flowerbud called for a break. So, I came back for a nap.”

“Where’d they go?”

“Where else? Training room.”

He snorted softly. From the way she behaved, anyone would have expected it to be Raven’s scheme – but it was actually Summer who loved to unwind by kicking the crap out of them. Rae was just too stubborn to back out of a challenge.

“Isn’t that the same chapter you were reading when we left?”

Tai looked down, covering part of the page. “I was just going over it again.”

Qrow hooked his ankle around the leg of his desk chair, pulling it out and plopping down. “So you know all about the transcriptional mechanisms that develop over time from dust exposure?”

He stared. “Do you?”

“I mean, I don’t actually know what I just said, but I know that basically people get addicted to the stuff.” He replied with a shrug. “So when you see those words, that’s the answer you’re looking for.”

His brow furrowed, trying to make sense of that suggestion. “Is that how you’ve been taking these tests? Just correlating words with the answers you hope will be there?”

“Well yeah. It’s not like I’m gonna be able to read at an academy level anytime soon. Gotta make do with what I got.” He stretched his legs up onto his desk, tipping his chair back. “Don’t need top marks, just passing ones, right?”

“Yeah but,” Tai tried to argue, but when he realized he really didn’t have one, he merely sighed, slumping over some. “Well, I guess it works for a guy like you. You’ve practically got a photographic memory.”

“Or just nothing’s up here.” Qrow joked, tapping his own temple. “An empty mind makes room for more genius.”

“Oh yeah you’re a real prodigy.”

He popped his collar. “Glad you noticed.” With a clack, his chair landed back on all four legs and he popped out of his seat. “And genius like this needs rest.” He put his palm against Tai’s forehead, pushing his head back. “Come on sunburn, you need some too.”

Tai shoved him away. “Maybe later.”

He shrugged, walking across the room. “You know it’s not that big of a deal if you fail, right?”

“Of course it is!” He turned, draping his arm across the back of his chair. “What if I get us all held back?”

“Oh gosh!” He exclaimed sarcastically, falling back onto his bed. “Another whole semester of free food and a bed so soft it’s like sleeping on a cloud? What ever shall I do?”

Huh.

Well, when he put it that way, Tai had no idea why he was trying so hard either.

As if he could read his thoughts, Qrow continued, “See? It’s all in the perspective.”

He couldn’t help it. “So you’re giving me the ‘bird’s-eye view’?” He rose his arm to guard from the pillow flung his way, cackling madly.

Not quite as amused, his roommate only rolled his eyes. “Whatever man, you’re stupid.”

“Don’t worry, our chemistry teacher agrees.” He joked, turning back to his textbook. He underlined the bit about transcriptional messages.

Too lazy to fetch his own, Qrow snatched the pillow off of Raven’s bed. As he got comfortable, he spoke up again, “I still think you’re stressing too much.”

He wrote a note in the margin beside the paragraph. “I just don’t want to disappoint you guys.”

“Sorry to tell ya this bud, but you’re sharing a space with me. Disappointment is guaranteed.” As if Qrow’s words were a cue, the lead on Tai’s pencil suddenly snapped.

He sighed, tossing it down. Alright, maybe a break was in order.

Tai got to his feet, stretching out some of the kinks that had settled. He fetched the pillow off the floor, nailing Qrow in the face with it. He laughed as the other squawked indignantly, turning away to pick up his scroll. He flicked off the lights and headed for his own bed, ducking under a retaliatory throw, the pillow hitting the door and flumping uselessly to the ground. “Nice try.”

Not willing to sacrifice his other, Qrow just grumbled over his failed attempt, kicking off his shoes. He twisted onto his side, facing Tai as he laid down on his own bed. The smirk he gave him was borderline lecherous. “At least I finally got you into bed.”

Tai threw his pillow. And Summer’s for good measure. “You’re the worst!” He ignored the way he laughed at him, focusing on his phone as he set an alarm for them. He placed it on his nightstand. “Alright, give it back. Alarm’s on for five-thirty.” He caught his pillow when it was tossed back at him, burying his face into it.

He heard Qrow shift around before he said, “Hey so, I can’t help you study, but if it means that much to you, I can help you cheat.”

He turned his head, “What?”

“Yeah. I’ll write you tiiiny little notes and we can slip them in the lapels of your jacket.” He pinched his forefinger and thumb together to accentuate just how tiny he meant. “They’ll never suspect a thing.”

Despite knowing it would expel him if he got caught, the fact he was legitimately considering it was probably not a good sign of where his moral compass was going. “I’ll pass, but thanks anyways.”

“Alright. If you change your mind I got plenty of ideas.”

Tai smiled, knowing just how much it said about Qrow that he was at least offering – or trying to cheer him up at all, for that matter. Six months ago, they could barely stop themselves from flinging insults if they were in the same room together; now, he merely ribbed him for fun. Things had definitely changed.

As he drifted off, he figured Qrow was right. It really didn’t matter if he failed some silly test. He’d made some good friends along the way and that was the best success he could ever have.

A/N: Prompt was “Are you sure that’s the decision you want to make?”

#taiyang xiao long #qrow branwen #Summer Rose #raven branwen #strq #rwby #fanfiction #100 Days of Taiqrow #Chase Firekitten's Tale

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stu-dna · 6 years

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how I survived my first semester at uni

somehow I made it through. here’s what helped:

(this is going to differ for everyone based on how you study best & what subjects you're studying! I am a science major so business/law majors probably won't benefit much from this, sorry <3 )

I. NOTES

figure out what type of note taking works best for you

—I started out by handwriting my notes. It was fine until my handwriting disintegrated and even I couldn't read what was happening. Also, carrying around a whole bunch of notebooks and folders got way too heavy for my back.

—I then switched to taking notes digitally. It took some getting used to, but now I absolutely love it. I use Notability for pretty much everything.

organisation is your best friend

—I colour-code by subject, e.g. all biology notes are blue and all chemistry notes are green and I swear to god if one more person tells me that biology should be green imma fight a bitch. That also means that my highlighters in each digital notebook are the corresponding colours, so I’m able to see what subject each page is without having to read too much into it.

—I also separate my notes based on type, for example in-class notes, "pretty" notes, and practice sheets are separate categories. Within these categories the aforementioned colour-coding comes into play.

II. STUDYING

I fell in LOVE with flashcards

—I literally have a 20cm high stack of flashcards from my last exam (which I aced btw :) ). It's like that for nearly every exam.

—Speaking of which... some subjects don't work well with flashcards (for me at least) e.g physics and maths. This is something that you can usually figure out early on in the semester.

—Again, organisation will save your life. I use these boxes to separate my cards by subject, then within the box I use coloured cards (of course corresponding to the subject) to separate card types/sub-subjects.

practice exams are there (legally or not...) for a reason

—Practice exams are how I did well in physics (my least favourite subject). I separated all the questions by concept and then learned what I needed to by solving about 10 problems per concept. Same with my maths exam.

—If you have access to more than a couple of past exams you can familiarise yourself with the problems that tend to come up more frequently and how the professor tends to ask certain about certain concepts.

learn where you study best/most efficiently

—I absolutely cannot study at home. Too many distractions plus my bed is so comfortable...

—I found that the library worked perfectly. If I was out of my house then I might as well stay out and study. Also, the general academic atmosphere really helped me with motivation.

—To music or not to music, that is the question. Again, it depends on how and what you are studying. Physics and maths, for example, were just practice problems, so I would listen to music. I would also listen when writing flashcards. When learning flashcards, I'd either listen to rain sounds or absolutely nothing besides the scribbling of pens and the occasional sniffle. It all depends on how you focus best.

Ill. HEALTH

physical health

—Get your blood flowing. When I was in the library studying I would stand up every 45 minutes and go do squats and stretches in the bathroom. This can also help you focus (!).

—Every couple of hours, stand up and walk around for about 5 to 10 minutes. It gives you a little break and gets your blood circulating.

—I started cycling to uni. It is 5km (about half an hour) each way and I don't think I've been fitter in my life. It has done wonders for my mental health too.

—Drink water!! In the library I would only let myself stand up to stretch / pee after I finished an entire water bottle. This was every 45 minutes. I peed a lot.

—If the sun shines, go stand outside for a couple of minutes. This was a rare treat for me because where I live in Germany the winters are grey, grey, and darker grey. You need vitamin C and serotonin. Get some.

mental health

—Sleep. You need it. Trust me. Staying up really late to study for a bit longer before an exam isn't worth it. It'll lead to stupid mistakes that will bring your grade down and leave you feeling even more crappy.

—Take study breaks. If you are feeling mentally tired due to stress/over-studying, go home. Go to sleep. Let yourself sleep. It's worth it. Trying to cram more material in when you just can't do any more will not help you.

—Don't be afraid to not take an exam. At one point, I had 5 exams within 8 days of each other. I decided to not take the 4th one and to instead give myself a break and prepare for the 5th exam. It was the best decision I've made so far in uni. If you are worried about how not taking an exam will affect you in terms of your uni career, talk to an advisor or older student.

—Remember that you are not alone. Make one friend, even just an acquaintance. Reach out to old friends from school. Reach out to someone online, even anonymously. (I’m almost always online if you wanna chat <3 )

nutrition

—I'm really hypocritical for saying this, but eat breakfast. It makes a massive difference in your energy levels throughout the day.

—Eat a goddamn vegetable.

—Coffee can be your best friend but also your worst enemy. Use it responsibly.

—Alcohol is your own choice. Don't let anyone pressure you into drinking. You can have fun with or without it. And if someone tries to get you to drink even after you’ve said no, get the hell out of there.

IV. MISCELLANEOUS

—Sometimes skipping classes is worth it, but it's up to you to make the right choices as to which. I went to a grand total of 3 physics lectures and got a 1,3 on the exam (;

—You don't need to buy textbooks. Ask your classmates & have a look online (;

—BRING A PHONE CHARGER WITH YOU EVERYWHERE. I have a backpack changer and a home changer, and they live in those places.

—Carry painkillers, antacids, etc. around with you. Either you or someone you know will need some.

—Shower, especially if you are staying long days in the library. It will make you feel more alive.

—Find a cafe that you can retreat to when the library makes you want to rip your own eyes out.

—Treat yourself every now and again. Be it ice cream or a nice notebook or a frozen pizza or a fucking avocado, it’ll be worth it.

sometime in the future I’ll make a couple of posts where I’ll go into detail about some of the things I mentioned above (eg how I use Notability, my flashcard system, organisation, etc.)

unless this was absolute shite; if so lmk and I’ll go hide in a hole <3

#studyblr #stu-dna-ing #harrietsaysathing #uni #studyblr tips #university tips #uni tips #sciblr #German studyblr #note taking tips #ersti tipps

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thelifeoftuan · 5 years

Text

Journalism Hell

There’s a little known fact about me. Or a fact that is usually forgotten. Either way. In college, apart from my Biochemistry major and pursuit of a career in medicine, I was also a Journalism major.

We’ll backtrack a little bit. Spring 2010 of my sophomore year of college, following a meeting with my advisor within the College of Arts and Sciences for my Biochemistry degree towards the end of that semester, I sort of spun out of control into this existential crisis. Hahaha! Why, you might ask? Well, it was at that meeting that my advisor was reviewing all of my credits and told me that I was on track to graduate the following Spring. And I was like, “What?” He looked over all of my requirements and said that with some good planning, I am set to graduate the following year. And in my head, I, for some reason, started to panic. Hahaha! I was like, “Um, excuse me dude, I’m only a sophomore. I haven’t even taken the MCAT yet, let alone apply for medical school. I’m not ready to graduate.” I remember asking him what my options were, and he was like, either book it and take the MCAT two months ago and apply to medical school yesterday then saunter on over to the commencement department and get ready to apply for graduation... or, do something else. I went home and stewed. ...like stewed to the point where the stew burned. And I was like, “what the shit! I didn’t plan for this!” Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, why am I complaining, right? The prospect of graduating a year early from college isn’t something to be butt-hurt about. But at that time, I was definitely not ready, mentally or emotionally. Not to mention I was nowhere near ready to really plunge into the horrid process of applying for medical school. That would have required me to get together letters of recommendation, transcripts, take the MCAT (and do somewhat well), apply for our pre-medicine committee interview (a stupid and unnecessary process, honestly, in retrospect), decide where I wanted to try to go to medical school and get those applications together... within a matter of weeks, because if memory serves me right, the application cycles started in the summer. So after I (rather unnecessarily, I will admit) agonized about this, I was like, “nah bro, we’re staying the full four years.” And it was at that time that I then embarked on my existential crisis. What the crap was I gonna do that will effectively prolong my stay in college to the appropriate four years? And it took a couple of days. I didn’t want to squander my time (or money, to be honest) doing something that wasn’t worthwhile. But I also didn’t want to over-tax myself. At first, I was like, well? I’ve always seen myself as a writer, maybe I should delve down that route. I initially thought about picking up an English major or minor. I spent hours and hours pouring over the coursework and projecting my class schedules and how that would pan out or if it would even work. And I discovered that it would if I picked up an English minor. And this department was within the College of Arts and Sciences, and so I wouldn’t have to really branch out too far from “home base.” But then I delved further into the required classes and read up on the syllabi (syllabuses? ...silly buses?) and looked up the instructors on the university online database, and review after review for course after course... they were all mostly bad with, at best, a B- average for grades, and I was like, “...I actually don’t think this is for me.” Being a literature buff was not my thing, and I think the English minor/major at my university trains students for that... which, in my opinion, was not worth my time or energy. I barely knew how to read, let alone critically analyze literature. I definitely was not going to risk something that would take shots at my already teetering GPA if I could help it, especially if it was something additional I was taking on. At that point, I would’ve rather graduated a year early and figure it out from there. So I scrapped that idea. And then it was back to the drawing board. Another several days of searching and seeking counsel... and then one day, a random thought came into my head. There was this nice building at the southern corner of the campus that was one of the newer colleges of our university, the College of Journalism. I would always walk by this building but never ventured in. One nice summer day that Spring semester of 2010, I did. And immediately, I felt sort of the same “at home” vibe I had felt all those years ago when I decided I wanted to become a pediatrician. Another little known fact. I actually started writing (for lack of a better term, honestly) before I even decided medicine was my calling. I remember in kindergarten, I had started writing and I remember my teacher reading some of my stories to my classmates. It wasn’t talent. It was a whim. Some sort of strange whim that has carried me forward throughout the years, just like how my aspiration for a career in medicine did. Within the College of Journalism was a major known as Professional Writing. I went home immediately after that day and did all the research I could on this. There was, unfortunately, no minor offered for any of the journalism majors. But the more I read about the Professional Writing track, the more and more I was sold. This major would train me and give me the skills I needed to become a more proficient writer and actually give me an avenue and motivation to continue writing as a potential career. None of that literary crap that made me despise high school English class, but stories that I would actually enjoy writing. I meticulously planned out my current coursework remaining for my Biochemistry major and overlay the required coursework for a Journalism-Professional Writing major... and it was like over-packing for a trip (another one of my wondrous qualities), borderline impractical and insane, but doable if done correctly. I asked myself, “how invested are you in this, Tuan?” I remember taking an afternoon to think about this, seeking opinions from some of my friends. And then, by the end of the day, I decided to go for it. I scheduled a meeting with an advisor at the college who, honestly and I think appropriately, questioned my sanity. I concretely remember him, one, looking at me with his eyebrows raised when I told him my background and experience (or lack thereof), and two, asking me repeatedly, “Are you sure about this?” But when I expressed my extreme interest and drive, he complied and laid out the requirements for me. I would have to take an entrance competency exam (basically a reading and writing exam). Thank goodness the foreign language requirements were the same among colleges, because I was not about to go down that route again (Spanish 3 is a story for another time...). That summer of 2010 would end up being my busiest summer. Because I picked this new major, I would have to get the required prerequisites out of the way before I could even think about starting any Journalism classes. So this required me to take two journalism classes over the summer. And I had also enrolled in a Biochemistry course that summer. So, three classes during that fateful summer of 2010. Hahaha! Not my smartest decision. But it felt like this new endeavor into the world of Journalism breathed new meaning in my life, and I felt rejuvenated and excited. Well, that feeling did not last too long. Hahaha! Mind you, yes, the entire way until I graduated college, I loved my Journalism major and classes, and it was definitely a reprieve away from my science classes and the stress of applying for medical school. But the very first class I had to take, and I will always remember the course ID to this day, was JMC 2033: Writing for Mass Media (JMC stood for Journalism and Mass Communication and was the ID used for all Journalism classes at my university). This was the introductory “weed-out” class for Journalism majors... which shocked me when my teacher, an impassioned writer and, in my opinion, rather poorly directed masters student who took pride in making this class the hardest it could ever possibly be, said to us on our first day, “If you are taking this class in the summer thinking that it was going to be easier, think again.” In my head, I was like, “oh shit.” No biochemistry professor of mine ever said that in any of my classes on the first day, and here I am, at a place I thought was the greener side of things, and there’s this crazy 20-something-year-old lady with an ego the size of the screen projected at the front of the classroom ready to skewer each and every one of us for the next 8 weeks. ...and skewer us she did. She definitely found some sick joy torturing us students in that class that summer. And I was so out of my element. I knew that I had a disadvantage and that this wasn’t something I had a true strength in. Other people in my class seemed to have read all the time and knew how to pick apart articles, had an eye for ads and design, understood the basic workings of PR and broadcasting. Me? I was the lowly writer who really only had the skills of an unpolished kindergartener. ...but I will be damned if I let my first step into the Journalism world be a misstep. So that summer, even more than my Biochemistry class, I worked my ass off more than ever before. Because it was a summer class, we crammed 16 weeks of work into 8... which was not the healthiest thing, honestly, because that required working and studying every single night, because this lady would present us with quizzes almost every single day of class. And this class was Monday through Thursday. Not to mention you had to make a C average or above in this class to be accepted into the College of Journalism (which, yes, is a given for anything, really), but as you will see from the quiz averages of this particular class, that was kinda touch and go, and I feared for my life and the life of my classmates at several points. And thus arrives the main topic of this post. Hahaha! (That took a while, right?) These quizzes we were subjected to tested absolutely everything (but truthfully, essentially nothing) about the supposed skills a journalist should have. Looking back... honestly, it was mostly hogwash, as you’ll come to see. Hahaha! This class was so bad and so hard that I ended up making daily Facebook status posts about it and then compiling them all together in a singular post titled “Lessons in Journalism Hell” posted on my Blogspot exactly 9 years ago today. I think the funniest (and frankly most appalling) thing this teacher did for this class was each morning, she would post the quiz averages of the day before on the large projector in front of the class, which I always wrote down so that I could relay how horrid this class was, and she also put the highest score and the lowest score on the projector and always, without fail, revealed to the class who made the highest score. ...if she had revealed who made the lowest score, she probably would’ve been murdered, honestly, because no one in the class liked her. And if someone made a perfect score, she would put the student’s name up there for all to see. ...it was kinda insane what this lady did. I look back on this course with such comical contempt, because I was like, “if all of my Journalism classes are going to be like this, I have made a grave mistake.” Thankfully, this was not the case. JMC 2033 is, notoriously, and especially when taught by this one particular crazy lady, is the hardest class in the college. I think what made it hard was it was an introductory course that attempted to teach all Journalism majors the basic concepts of journalism and mass communication, which included advertising, broadcasting, PR, and professional writing, and incorporated the necessities of media literacy and competence. I will say that I learned a few things from this class. But was any of it particularly useful? I mean, a good majority of our assignments and preparation for quizzes was to read or watch or listen to something that was published within a specific time window the day/night before and remember every single goddamn detail we possibly could and hope that we even read, watched, or listened to the right thing so that we could answer quiz questions the following morning. ...perhaps that only useful thing I did pick up from this class was a stronger resilience and work ethic than what I had previously. Haha! And so, without further ado, I would like to repost my Lessons in Journalism Hell on my tumblr today, to commemorate a rather miserable yet pretty laughable time in my life 9 years ago when I decided to pursue a Journalism major the summer before my Junior year of college. Each lesson is numbered and dated with a short sentence or two I devised to describe what the quiz was about, followed by the class average (and often my own personal commentary on such average). I don’t remember my own grades from these quizzes, as I didn’t write them down. It felt like it was poor form. Also, the teacher took back our quizzes after we had five seconds to review them (for some dumbass reason I will never understand), so I don’t have them in any archives of mine. But anyway, I present to you, Lessons in Journalism Hell, June 9 - July 29, 2010. June 9 | Journalism Hell Lesson #1: Copy-editing marks. A journalist MUST learn how to copy-edit using the CORRECT symbols and marks. Class avg: 57.7/100 ...HOLY CRAP! June 10 | Journalism Hell Lesson #2: Making distinctions. A journalist MUST learn how and when to use who vs. whom. Class avg: 79.6/100 June 14 | Journalism Hell Lesson #3: AP Style. A journalist MUST learn how to use AP (Associated Press) style of writing. Class avg: 63/100... and teacher said she expected great things from this quiz -.- June 15 | Journalism Hell Lesson #4: Newspapers. A journalist MUST learn how to read a newspaper--and figure out what content the teacher will quiz over. Class avg: horrendously low... T_T June 16 | Journalism Hell Lesson #5: Language Lapses. A journalist MUST learn that you feel bad NOT badly, that mobs are always angry and beatings are usually brutal, and finally, that you are usually nauseated, NOT nauseous...unless you make OTHER people want to vomit. Class avg: 97.3/100 :] June 17 | Journalism Hell Lesson #6: Newspapers Round 2. A journalist MUST learn how to read the newspaper (again), analyze it, memorize important facts, and rely on sheer gut about what the heck the teacher will ask on the quiz. Class avg: 68.2/100 ...my Buddha. -.- June 21 | Journalism Hell Lesson #7: Diversity. A journalist MUST know the difference between an oreo and a twinkie. Enough said. Class avg: 75.7/100 June 22 | Journalism Hell Lesson #8: Diversity Part 2. A journalist MUST learn how to read online news sources about blacks, Native Americans, and gays. Class avg: 43.7/100 ...OH MY SNAPS! We're getting killed by these quizzes! June 23 | Journalism Hell Lesson #9: It's anyone's guess. A journalist MUST know that if he/she WERE smarter, he/she would have made a better grade on this quiz. Class avg: 77/100 June 24 | Journalism Hell Lesson #10: Huffingtonpost.com. A journalist MUST... oh, what the hell. This quiz was completely insane and taught me nothing besides how terribly vague and untimely the quiz content was. All I learned was that huffingtonpost.com updates multiple times and the time frame we journalism students were given was within a 10-hour time span. Class avg: 58.8/100 -- I'm starting to get worried... June 29 | Journalism Hell Lesson #11: AP style round 2. A journalist MUST continue to learn how to use AP (Associated Press) style of writing. Class avg: 70/100 June 30 | Journalism Hell Lesson #12: The Week (online magazine). A journalist MUST not give up. As we are all getting tired of this, refer back to lessons 4, 6, and 10. Class avg: 71.9/100 July 1 | Journalism Hell Lesson #JUST KIDDING: There was no quiz today. WHOOPEE! July 6 | Journalism Hell Lesson #13: Us Weekly. A journalist MUST not let his/her brain melt while reading this tabloid-esque trash. Class avg: 78.1/100 July 7 | Journalism Hell Lesson #14: AP style round 3. A journalist MUST continue to learn how to use AP style of writing. Class avg: 93.2/100 ...WOOHOO! July 8 | Journalism Hell Lesson #15: Pluralizing. It's bitches and hoes! Class avg: 85.9/100 July 12 | Journalism Hell Lesson #16: AP style round 4. Class avg: 85.9/100 July 13 | Journalism Hell Lesson #17: AP style round 5. Class avg. 82.1/100 July 15 | Journalism Hell Lesson #18: NPR. A journalist MUST listen to 20 stories of Morning Edition on NPR (National Public Radio) and remember all the details. Class avg. 76.4/100 July 19 | Journalism Hell Lesson #19: NBC Nightly News @ 5:30 p.m. A journalist MUST watch the 5:30 p.m. programming of NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams. Class avg. 89.3/100 July 20 | Journalism Hell Lesson #20: AP style round 6. Class avg. 85.7/100 July 21 | Journalism Hell Lesson #21: Advertising Age (AdAge.com). A journalist MUST be familiar with AdAge.com. Class avg. 70.9/100 ...and we were doing so well. -.- July 22 | Journalism Hell Lesson #22: PR Newswire (prnewswire.com). A journalist MUST be familiar with a PR tool website. Class avg. 72.9/100 July 26 | Journalism Hell Lesson #23: ESPN.com. A journalist MUST ...seriously?! This is by far the stupidest thing I've studied. Class avg. 75.4/100 July 27 | Journalism Hell Lesson #24: The First Amendment. A journalist MUST memorize the First Amendment... word for word. Class avg. 81.5/100. Awesomeness! July 28 | Journalism Hell Lesson #25: TMZ.com. A journalist MUST read more trash. Ugh. Class avg. 68.6/100. ...GEEZ! July 29 | Journalism Hell Lesson #26: Gawker.com. And so, the last lesson in Journalism Hell before the shit hits the fan. A journalist MUST read even MORE trash. -.- Class avg. 71.2/100 Hahaha! There you have it. Needless to say, I got through this class with an A (thank Buddha. I honestly would have been a little upset if the decision to pick up a second major in college brought down my GPA and further hurt my chances of getting into medical school). My teacher called out my name a number of times because I had made the highest grade on a quiz, and I think my name showed up on the board twice because I had made a perfect score on two quizzes. Each time, I just sunk into my seat and avoided eye contact. I definitely did not take these instances as accolades, because it made me feel really bad because the class averages were so low, and my classmates honestly were not having it with this lady, so I definitely did not appreciate her putting me on the spot. But regardless, I persevered and left JMC 2033 in the rear-view mirror as I started my actual Professional Writing classes the following fall semester. It gave me a giggle to go through this post again. Some comical memories of a pretty grueling summer, for sure, but productive and successful nonetheless. In the end, I definitely enjoyed my classes at the Journalism college, and it was definitely a decision that I did not regret. Anyway, just thought I’d trek through memory lane for a bit on this late night. Till next time. :]

#life of tuan #journalism #professional writing #lessons in journalism hell

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blackcoffeeandblankpagess · 6 years

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Do you have any tips for studying for college finals? So stressed rn and just feeling absolutely exhausted (even with copious amounts of caffeine ahh) (also i hope your body gets stronger/heals and just so you know you're super inspirational to me so thank you for sharing your story!)

Okay first of all thank you so much for that second part 💜

Secondly- I feel you so hard rn, usually I’m super on top of my shit when it comes to exams but I’ve gotten the WORST sleep the past 2 nights and started my exams today so I’m right there with ya

In general though-

My number one tip (counter to what I just said 🙄) is to prioritize sleep. I’ve never ever pulled an all nighter or even close to one for the purposes of my academics and I’ve always been fine. In my experience, if I don’t get enough sleep it doesn’t matter how well I know the material- my brain is going to be foggy, my critical thinking isn’t going to be there, and I’m going to mess up on things that I know just because my attention isn’t fully there. Of course, you need to find the right balance for you, I’m not saying to forego all studying to get a ton of sleep, but know where the line is between the two

Pay attention throughout the entire semester and do the work yourself, it’s probably too late at this point for this piece of advice but hey future reference. I’ve honestly been kicking myself today for not following through on this better. If I pay attention in class and actually take time on my assignments I find that when it comes time for the exams I already have a pretty strong grasp on the material and just need to brush up on it a little- that being said it deffffinitely becomes harder to stick to this as the semester gets underway and life gets busy but that’s the tradeoff, you might save time during the average week but you’re going to have to make it up when it comes to studying for the final

make yourself a study guide and write things down by hand! even if you feel comfortable with the material just rewriting it and forcing yourself to engage with it again will drill it in just a little bit extra. I also like to go over my notes for classes that I have a tooooooon of notes for and make myself a study sheet highlighting the concepts that I need to study extra- that way instead of flipping through 92034324 pages of notes I have the more difficult topics condensed to a page or two

Spread it out over multiple days. I know that my attention span is generally shot after a few hours so I’ve never been one to majorly cram the night before- if you study a little bit for a few days out not only do you have to study for shorter periods of time at once, but it’s also less stressful AND you’re probably going to retain it better

this point is probs controversial but if possible I try to only focus on one class at a time during finals. For example I have a presentation tomorrow and then an exam tues/thurs so I’m not worrying about next week’s exams until after the presentation and I won’t really drill down on thursday’s exam until after the one on tuesday. This does mean that there is a litttle more cramming but I just prefer to really hone in on one thing at a time

Do something active- it might sound counterintuitive but I find that sometimes sacrificing some studying time to go move for an hour means that I can focus a lot better and I’m more alert afterwards. This morning I was awake at 6 and had such a shitty night of sleep. Half of me felt like I should try to sleep an extra 3 hours until 9 but I also knew I was wound up and might just spend that time anxious that I couldn’t sleep. So I chose to go to the gym over sleeping even though there was potential for that to leave me even more tired. Luckily, when I got home I was much more awake and actually felt more prepared to study (def paying for that now though lol)

Prioritize the classes that actually matter/you have the potential to get a good grade in at this point. By the time finals roll around you probably know you’re general standing in each class. Personally, if I’m going to spend a long time studying I want to do it for a class that I have a high likelihood of getting an A in, if I’m going to need a 100 to boost my grade it’s not worth the energy. Also! If the class is totally irrelevant to your major (*cough* my buddhism class *cough*) I would worry less about the grade than one that might actually relate to what you want to do

Realize that at the end of the day a grade is just a number, yeah it matters to some extent but it has always been my opinion that your experience/connections/etc matters far more in the grand scheme of things than your GPA and put your mental health first

Good luck friend, we’re gonna grind through this last bit together 💪🏼

#answered

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tiny-personal-university-thing · 6 years

Text

A Realistic Student's Guide to Surviving Finals

With finals rolling around - I'm sure we are all feeling the pressure. Here are just a few tips I hope will help you all during this stressful time in the semester.

Time Block Method ⏰

Find yourself a template online, here's one (x) or lay it out yourself. Block off times you know you will have time to study (you are home from class with no interruptions). You can get creative with it and use colors if you feel so inclined. This can just help you stay focused ahead of time. I'd say to go ahead and make it about a week or two out. It's similar to a 5 day study plan, but obviously will include all classes, time for meals, breaks, extra curricular activities, work, doctor's appointments, final projects, etc. Specify when you want to get things done.

Now, this technique doesn't work for everyone. Sometimes it doesn't even work for me because my schedule can get really crazy, and I just need to play it by ear. You know yourself best.

Pomodoro Technique 🍅

If time blocking one to two weeks in advance is not your style, you may find luck with the Pomodoro Technique.

You'll want to set a timer - perhaps on your phone (and then put your phone out of sight). Set the timer between 15-20 minutes during which you will work uninterrupted on your assignment/studying. Typically, when the timer goes off you will find that one of two things will occur: 1) you can work a couple more minutes and wrap things up or 2) you REALLY needed a break!

I actually love this method because when I sit down to study, I naturally feel a little drained after 20 minutes - so that's a good time to get up and stretch, send a quick text, check my social media real quick, or watch a short YouTube video. Whatever you need to do to decompress. Your prerogative.

Take It Slow 🐢

One chapter at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself by cramming 15 chapters worth of material in one sitting. Your brain is like an athlete - you don't want to overexert.

Create Your Own Study Guides📑

I always loved creating large study guides, complete with color-coded highlighting and diagrams. It's much easier to re-read notes that are written neatly (or even asthetically pleasing). Additionally, I've found that taking the time to highlight key material breaks up the monotony of taking copious amounts of notes.

Change of Scenery 🌻

If you find yourself restless while working in the same place you normally do - change it up. Go to a coffee shop, your school's library, a friend's place, or somewhere on campus. You might find that your motivation is rejuvenated.

Do The Task You are Dreading the Most F I R S T 🐸

Have a nasty, big research paper to write? Hate one subject in particular, and loathe studying it? Do it first. There’s a saying by Mark Twain, it goes something like “if the first thing you do in the morning is eat a live frog, you can go through the rest of the day knowing the worst is behind you.” Your worst task is the frog

Utilize a Study App. 📲

Personally, I love love love Quizlet. It's portable and easily accessible through your phone, laptop or tablet. So any moment you have some spare time you can pull up tried and true old Quizlet and have a little study sesh. Features included on Quizlet such as the "Match," "Test," and "Spell" functions can prove to be useful in a myriad of different classes.

I also hear Forest is great!

Something similar that I love (because you can get free stuff) is Pocket Points; however, you do need to have your location services on and you will need to be on your campus to obtain points. Again, it just rewards you for staying off of your phone for extended periods of time. I used PocketPoints all the time my freshman year to buy free tanning sessions before the tanning place wised up and realized they were losing a lot of money.

Try Teaching the Material to Another 👩‍🏫👨‍🏫

Your dog. Your mom. Your brother. Your best friend. Your boyfriend (even if he isn't really listening). Your classmate(s). Reiterating the material in your own words helps you retain it better.

If no one is around to listen (or you don't feel like you can bring yourself to make them sit through your tiny lecture) stand in the mirror and pretend like you are giving your own TedTalk over the subject. It works for Sims, doesn't it?

Don't Shy Away From Services Provided by Your Institution 📚

So tutoring centers, writing centers, office hours, peer mentors, etc. These services are typically free to you because you have already paid for them via your tuition. Basically, you won't be paying out of pocket and you might as well get your money's worth! Additionally, perhaps hearing a challenging concept explained to you differently by someone who is not your professor may help you figure it out.

Remember Your Handy Dandy Planner 📒

Planners are life and it is never too late to utilize one, or forge the habit of using one.

I wasn't always a die hard planner gal; however, this semester using my planner religiously has changed my life. You can always go paperless too, perhaps with an Outlook calendar or the calendar on your phone.

Rest 💤

Sleep is C R U C I A L.

Eat 🍴

Three square meals and two snacks. Feed your brain.

Stay Hydrated. 💧

This means water, folks. Man cannot survive on coffee alone.I think Jesus said that.

Don't Neglect Hygiene or Self Care 🛀

Warm showers, long baths (maybe one with bubbles or a bath bombs), a skin care routine, painting your nails, shaving, doing a face mask, washing your hair etc. can all help you decompress when the going gets tough.

Also showering and bathing? Self explanatory.

Take Breaks When You Need To🌙

Again, do not study to the point where you feel like you are about to crack. Let your brain breathe. Let your body breathe. Sit on your balcony for a few minutes. Talk to a friend. De-stress, not distress.

Try Epsom Salt Baths to Relieve Tension 🛁

Epsom salt baths are life changing. Choose your salts based on what you need; they can be both energizing (wake up) and relaxing (so you can fall asleep).

Personally, I like to stay in a hot tub until I break a sweat. While soaking I may pull up a YouTube video to get the ultimate detox effect. With this being said, there may be some of you with health concerns that limit your ability to do something like this. Again, know yourself.

Ask for Help When You Need It ❗

Whether it's regarding material, or you are struggling with depression, anxiety, or stress severe enough to cause you frequent headaches/stomachaches - ask for help. You will probably find dozens of people that will gladly help you however they can- they just had no idea you were struggling.

Take Advantage of Extra Credit Opportunities (aka Become A Point Whore) 🏫

This might give you a little extra cushion if every point matters for you.

Believe In Yourself and Remember That You Got This. ☀️

You have to believe that you are capable of doing this! You are intelligent enough, you are worthy enough, you are strong enough to do this.

If you feel like this semester may not go as well as you anticipated, and you need a 465% on the final to get a C in the class - talk to an advisor. Figure out a plan for the worst case scenario so that you are not left scrambling and freaking out after the semester is over.

Be honest with yourself about where you fell short this semester. How can you improve for next semester?

Remember that mistakes happen. We all fail sometimes. Failure is a part of the path to success, yes, but the only time you really fail is when you stop trying. So don't stop trying.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” -H. Ford

More Specific Posts:

Night Before Your Exam Pt. I

Night Before Your Exam Pt. II

Day of Your Exam

If your final is an essay look here or here

Other Simple Study Methods

For Dead Day If You Want To Be Productive Without Studying

Academic Probation to the Dean’s List in One Semester is Totally Possible

To Remind You That You Are Not Alone - My {Formerly} Bad Student Story - Read if you struggle with chronic physical health and/or mental health + school

What are your favorite finals tips to study/stay focused/reduce stress? I encourage you all to comment and share what has worked best for you!

Happy studying, realistic students! Save the semester! 🌻☀️

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thedefinitionofbts · 7 years

Text

Kingdom of Crystal Snow

↳ Christmas Special ❄️

Pairings: Kim Taehyung x Reader ft. Park Jimin

Genre: Comedy, Light Angst, Fluff, Royal Au (?)

Words: 10K

Description: A prince from a far off land is sent to earth to discover the meaning of crystal snow, and you are somehow just what he needs.

Jimin has always told you that you should change your awful habit of putting off studying for a test last minute. He calls it a bad case of procrastination. You call it “living on the edge”. And it’s not that you don’t want to change per se, it’s just hard when you’ve always relied on that rush of adrenaline from imminent doom to give you a push to take action. If it were easy to alter such an innate mindset, you’d actually be prepared to ace your final tomorrow.

“I’m going faaaaiiiil!” You groan, banging your head against the textbook laid opened in front of you.

“What did I say about trying to cram a semester’s worth of information in one night?” Jimin says, not even bothering to glance up from his own book.

You tsk in annoyance. “Can’t you just be a little more supportive?”

“Okay, okay” He gently closes his book and takes off his glasses to look at you. “You are not going to fail.” You can tell he’s not trying very hard to sound convincing. You’ve known him long enough to distinguish authentic support and just going through the motions to make you feel better.

“But I am!” You insist, more for the purpose of complaining out loud rather than actually getting another half-assed response from your friend of five years. “I barely understand the first chapter, how the hell am I going to learn the entire book by tomorrow morning!?”

You were right and wrong, more or less. You were right in thinking there was no way you were going to understand the entirety of your textbook by sunrise the next day, but you were wrong in believing you would fail the entire class.

Thank Jesus Lord.

Jimin would actually, maybe, perhaps be proud to know that you were a measly 2 points away from failing, but pulled through. 2 points away from having to repeat the course and having to graduate a year later (aka having to walk with Jungkook at graduation, which god knows will go down in the unofficial history books among your group of friends for the rest of eternity). It actually feels pretty good, knowing you were blisteringly close to being depressed over winter break only to be saved from said hellish nightmare by such a blessed margin.

2 points. Jimin would call it getting lucky, but you refer to it as “having talent”.

At the moment you are running through all the ways you can break the good news to him, debating whether you should pretend that you failed and psych him by telling him you didn’t whilst he was consoling you. But just as you were playing house with all of these hypothetical scenarios in your mind, you spot someone just appearing out of thin air on your way to the coffee shop near campus. Appearing out of thin air. Like poof, there’s your living, breathing human being delivered right under your nose. You could’ve sworn the public park wasn’t this tripped up the last time you were here, and last time you checked, you were awake and not dreaming.

Must be post-finals stress disorder.

“Ok, how the fuck did you do that?” You point at the man sprawled on the ground as if he had just flown through a time portal.

He groans in pain, rubbing the back of his head. “W-who are you?” He looks up at you, squinting due to the blinding rays of the sun that your head is conveniently just two inches away from blocking.

“I think I should be the one asking that question.” You observe suspiciously as he stands up. He’s much taller than you had expected, and slightly intimidating now that he’s towering over you.

“I am Kim Taehyung, crown prince of the Winter Kingdom.”

There are mainly two things that cross your mind as you casually register his words. 1.) It’s a shame this guy is high on drugs right now because he’s actually really attractive, and 2.) Did he actually just say what I thought he said?

It takes every last ounce of strength you had to not erupt into laughter.

“Uhhhh, is this supposed to be some cosplay thing for the holidays, cause I’m really not into that stuff, and I’d rather not deal with drunk strangers.” You start to walk away, eyebrow still raised even as you switch your attention onward and try to erase the thought of how realistic his costume actually looked. The dude must’ve spent hours putting something like that together, so you can’t blame him for trying so convincingly to stay in character.

“Please, you must help me.” He begs, following closely behind like a lost puppy. “I can’t return until I have discovered the meaning of crystal snow.”

You stop walking abruptly, causing him to almost crash into you head on. “Crystal snow?” You turn to him, raising your other eyebrow dubiously. “You mean like snowflakes and shit?”

He looks at you confused. “It’s not that simple. It’s something that has been at the core of our kingdom for centuries. Every ruler brings a different kind of snow to the wintry realm. I must find the meaning of mine. ”

“Don’t you guys have encyclopedias or some ratchet form of Google for things like that? I mean, how the hell are you going to find answers here, on earth, a place where crystal snow literally just means snowflakes?”

He sighs. “We do, but they do not contain the information I seek, and the sorceress has never been wrong.”

“The sorceress?” You furrow your brows even harder as you begin to grasp how ridiculous this conversation was getting. “Ok, listen buddy. I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, but I need to go.”

Taehyung opens his mouth to protest, but shuts it before the next words can escape his lips.

You flash him a weird look one last time before quickly running off. Finals were over, winter break is beginning, and you have a coffee date with Jimin to get to. There was no time to mess around with a random stranger who claims he’s from another world. What was the guy smoking anyways? He had to be high or something…right?

“You’re late.” Jimin’s familiar voice cuts through your reverie.

“Only by like five minutes.” You counter, setting your peppermint latte down on the table.

The café was festively ornamented the same way it is every year, with a large Christmas tree crammed in the corner and wall decorations hanging on a space that is clearly too small for so many objects to be juxtaposed. Despite looking cramped and messy, the atmosphere was earnest and cozy, reminiscent of nostalgic childhoods and charmingly intimate conversations with those you are closest to.

Jimin’s face breaks into a smile. “I’ll let you off the hook seeing as though you just went through a week of hell.”

“Ugh, story of my life.” You roll your eyes. “I’m surprised I managed to survive.”

You decide to not make a big deal about passing the exam. Whether it was because the events from this morning had shaken you up or because it seemed insignificant in the grand scheme of things, you figure you’d rather talk about winter break and Christmas plans.

“Namjoon and Yoongi are going back home, Hoseok has this dance camp he’s doing for the next three weeks, so it’s just me, Seokjin, and Jungkook.”

“Oh boy, that’s going to be interesting.”

“Tell me about it.” Jimin sighs.

…

You spent the rest of the day chatting with Jimin at the café, something you had grown accustomed to doing over the years. It was a good way to pass time, or waste time, depending on how you chose to view it. By the time the two of you leave, it’s already late afternoon, and since it’s winter, the prematurely setting sun gives off the impression that it’s a lot later than it really is.

However, it’s not completely dark yet; the sky is just reaching that magical twilight hour where it’s painted with baby blues and pastel pinks. The temperature is beginning to drop, but the crisp winter air is still and almost therapeutic. You don’t notice anything peculiar at first, not until you squint your eyes and spot the one person that you wished your mind could just allow you to ignore, and maybe you would’ve if you and Jimin had not carelessly walked so close to where he was sitting.

“Oh god, why is he still there?” You quickly attempt to hide behind Jimin, the latter being somewhat taken aback by your sudden change in demeanor.

“Who?” He looks around obliviously before his eyes land on the very person you were referring to. “Oh, him?”

Said “him” just happens to be Kim Taehyung, and he was quietly sitting on the bench by the same park you had saw him suddenly appear at this morning. He was just staring at the ground absentmindedly, not even noticing you and Jimin standing a mere ten feet away from him.

“Shhhh” You quickly reach up to cover Jimin’s mouth as if it would prevent Taehyung from spotting you, which seems downright futile in hindsight because honestly if Taehyung actually cared about your presence, he would’ve gotten up by now.

“You know him?” Jimin mumbles, speech muffled by your hands.

“He’s just some crazy guy I ran into this morning.” You explain, releasing your hold on his mouth. “The reason I was late in the first place was because I couldn’t get him off my back.”

“Was he insistent on getting your number?”

“No, no” You shake your head. “He kept asking for my help because he claimed to be a crown prince of this snow kingdom and was sent to earth to find something.”

There’s a fleeting pause before you hear Jimin laugh out loud, throwing his head back and everything.

“I’ll give him props for being creative.” Jimin says in between fading giggles.

You roll your eyes, slumping your shoulders in defeat. You hadn’t noticed until now, and you blame Jimin for laughing so loudly, but Taehyung had looked up from the ground and was now staring at you and Jimin.

“Hey, he’s looking at us” Jimin comments as you continue to make eye contact with Taehyung. “Should we, uh, go before he comes over?”

You can hear Jimin’s question loud and clear, but your eyes remain glued to the boy sitting on the bench. It’s strange that you’re just now noticing how odd and unearthly his appearance was. His sculpted, almost otherworldly, facial structure and flawlessly transparent skin was clearly not a result of makeup, and the way that his silver speckled irises expressed a sort of disorientation that made your heart clench ever so slightly should’ve been enough to convince you that he was maybe telling the truth. As absurd as his whole story was, you somehow begin to think he maybe wasn’t lying about being from another world, but it wasn’t his strikingly non-human features that made you want to help him, it was the way he dropped his gaze, not even making a motion to stand up, the pure hopelessness engulfing his entire being that compelled you to walk over to him, even though Jimin was baffled as fuck by now.

“Y/N” You vaguely hear Jimin call from behind you, but you don’t stop until you’re standing right in front of the male sitting on the bench, who by now is looking as confused as Jimin.

“Prince Taehyung, right?” You voice, crossing your arms as his head tilts up to look at you.

You watch Taehyung’s Adam’s apple bobble up and down as he swallows nervously while he nods.

“You’re very far from home and you can’t get back until you’ve discovered the meaning of crystal snow, correct?”

He nods again.

You let out a long sigh. “I’ll help you.” At this point, you don’t even know what possessed you to act so boldly. It was like you were in some role-playing mode where you had this urge to act all cool and pretend that the situation wasn’t completely ludicrous. But he did appear out of nowhere, so he was either telling the truth or just a really talented magician. You hope it's the former.

“You will??!!”

Both Jimin and Taehyung speak at the same time, almost making you jump out of your furry down jacket. It was almost amusing how similar their reactions were, but it evidently wasn’t the time to laugh.

You clear your throat and looked back and forth between the two of them. “Yeah.” You finally manage to say with poise before beginning to walk as they both scrambled to follow you.

“Will you take me to find crystal snow?” Taehyung’s deep voice is a clear contrast to Jimin’s slightly high-pitched tone.

“I would if I knew where that could be found.” You reply.

“Does it not snow on earth?”

“It does, but it’s just…snow.” You pause to think. This was going to be a lot harder than you had originally planned. You had completely forgotten the reason Taehyung had even asked for your aid, and truthfully, you didn’t really think this whole “offer help” thing through before just jumping into it. “There are places around the world where it snows more than others. Like the north and south pole…” You trail off.

“Can you take me there!?” Taehyung sounds too hopeful, and you almost want to tell him that people don’t actually go to those places and there was no way in hell you were going to accompany him in the event he decides to go.

“Whoa there, she’s not going anywhere with you.” Jimin interrupts, making you wonder why he was getting so protective all of a sudden. It’s not that he ever acted like he didn’t care or put on an absentminded façade when it came to you, in fact he had been your best friend for years and always looked out for you, but his particular reaction at that moment would have any outsider wondering if he was-

“Are you her suiter?” Taehyung’s direct question makes both you and Jimin fall silent. You’re cheeks begin to heat up, and judging by the way he was sinking deeper into his scarf to hide his face, Jimin was feeling quite embarrassed to.

An awkward silence falls over the three of you.

“We’re just friends.” You finally manage to voice, avoiding direct eye contact with either of them.

The rest of the walk to your apartment is strangely less dramatic, other than Taehyung explaining everything about the place he came from, and why he needed to find this mysterious crystal snow that you’re starting to think is going to be impossible now.

“Each ruler brings a different kind of snow to the kingdom. My father’s snow is opaque and white. The flecks of precipitate are large and float for long periods, dancing in midair before slowly drifting to the ground, which is why our nation is called the Kingdom of Ivory Petals while it is under his rule. The prophecy states mine will be crystal.” Taehyung’s explanation almost sounds like a fairytale, something too distant to grasp or even fully comprehend.

“So when you take the throne it will be called Crystal Snow?” You inquire, switching the lamp next to the couch in the living room on and allowing light to fill the previously dark room.

“Yes, the Kingdom of Crystal Snow.” Taehyung gazes wistfully out the window at the sparkling cityscape that is now twinkling in the distance.

Jimin nods slowly. “That sounds really cool, but we don’t really categorize our snow like that, or more accurately, it doesn’t hold as deep of a meaning here on earth.

“Are you sure it’s actual snow and not some sort of gemstone we have to dig up from the ground?” At this point, you’re just throwing out random ideas because you have this hunch that it’ll increase the chances of hitting a plausible target.

Taehyung shakes his head dismally. “I wish the sorceress told me more.”

You continue to run through anything and everything you can think of, but none of it sounded likely. By the time you were finished, it was already verging on midnight.

“Why don’t you spend a few days in the city, see if you can find anything here and then decide what to do next. I mean, you were sent here for a reason, right? Maybe what you’re looking for is closer than we think.” The tone of your voice sounds more encouraging than you actually feel, but it was the best decision you could come up with for now.

“Yeah, and it’s the holidays, maybe something magical will happen.” Jimin agrees and Taehyung doesn’t argue.

…

So it’s not that Jimin wanted to leave you with a stranger in your house, knowing him, he’d want anything but that. But the truth of the matter was, he lived with 5 other guys and there was just no way their tiny apartment could fit an extra person, not when Jungkook was already exiled to the couch.

And Taehyung seemed harmless enough, because by the next morning you wake up to him lying face flat on your couch, snoozing away like any other 20-something year old college student who had just pulled consecutive all-nighters right after finals.

You’d be doubting the validity of his royal claims if it weren’t for-

“We need to get you some new clothes.” You eye his princely wardrobe up and down. “This isn’t going to cut it if you don’t want to stick out like a sore thumb.” You tug on Taehyung’s blue and silver robe and scrunch your nose at how distasteful it looks. Don’t get you wrong, like it was gorgeous for a Halloween costume and all, but completely unfit to roam a modern city in.

“This” Taehyung holds his sleeve in front of your face. “is made from the finest silks harvested in the everlasting ice caves. Its fibers are crystalized for decades before they are deemed fit for our most skilled tailors to transform into fabric for the royal families.”

You can tell he’s mildly offended, but what else could you do? You couldn’t just let him walk around like that. “And it’s gorgeous, so wouldn’t it be better if it doesn’t get ruined on Earth?” You’re fairly proud of yourself for coming up with such a convincing argument, one that to your relief works because fortunately for you, Taehyung is relatively cooperative for a prince set to be king.

But you’ve spoken a bit too soon.

It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that finding clothes on earth that Taehyung would actually be willing to wear is a challenge in and of itself. You sort of expected that a prince would have expensive tastes, but you had no idea he’d have such an affinity for luxury brands. In retrospect, maybe you shouldn’t have taken him down the street where only the wealthiest of city dwellers even dare to tread (or the poor who go to window shop in prospects of experiencing that sensation of being surrounded by gold).

It was supposed to be out of sight out of mind, but by the time you recognized your mistake, it was too late because his eyes literally lit up as you passed the likes of Saint Laurent, Valentino, Givenchy, and most notably…Gucci. And you most certainly can’t believe you are dropping 4K for an outfit you are buying for someone you just met yesterday, but at least you can return it as soon as he leaves earth…right?

“So how do you like it?” You watch as Taehyung examines his reflection in the mirror of the shop, turning and doing all of these model like poses that you swear he must have practiced, because how?!?

“It’s quite nice” Taehyung responds, fixing the collar of the floral button up and performing one last pose in the mirror. He then turns to you with a faint smile that makes your heart skip a beat. “Thank you.”

Fuck. Why does he look like he just walked off the cover of Vogue?

“Uh, yeah, n-no problem” You reply rather nervously, questioning why the room was getting so hot all of a sudden.

So maybe Taehyung didn’t force you to buy anything for him, you wanted to ok? You just couldn’t bring yourself to denying him of something he clearly wanted, clearly as in nonverbally spoke to you through his sultry eyes. Fuck.

People on the streets start doing double takes, even going as far as to ask what agency he models for. Taehyung doesn’t understand why everyone passing by is staring at him like he’s some circus freak, only blinking in a dumbfounded way when he flashes them an innocently shy smile that puts your maternal instincts on overdrive. Some girl runs up and asked for a picture with him, in which you have to kindly turn down through partly gritted teeth. You were beginning to wonder why you even bothered to buy him “normal” clothes when he’s drawing just as much attention as he would’ve had he been wearing his royal attire.

“So the weatherman said there’s an 80% chance of snow tomorrow.” You look up from your phone app.

“The weatherman?” Taehyung tilts his head as he looks at you like you had just spoken in a language he didn’t understand. “Is he the ruler of snow on this planet?”

You have to hold back a laugh at his childish statement that sounded downright silly yet came off endearing because he genuinely didn’t know. “No Tae, he’s uh, just some guy that makes predictions about the upcoming weather based on atmospheric readings and stuff.” You pause, realizing Taehyung is probably not going to understand any of what you just said.

“So like a wizard?”

“Uh, yeah sure” You lie, not wanting to go into an entire lesson on something that doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.

“Will it be the first snow of the winter?”

“Huh?”

Whether it was because Taehyung’s question had caught you off guard or the way he was gently staring at you, crystal clear pupils with cerulean hues searching into yours like he waiting for a sign of recognition or anticipating something magical to happen. You find yourself with a blank mind, mouth waiting to relay a response but getting no signal from your brain. “I-I guess it will be.” You murmur, averting your eyes and clearing your throat before your body loses any more of its functionality.

“I really hope I make it back before the first snow hits the kingdom.” He’s not looking at you anymore, but instead staring at the clear sky.

“Does something happen if you don’t?” Your eyes follow his to some fictional place above.

He turns back to you. “I will lose my right to the throne.”

You swallow heavily. “Dang…that sounds pretty serious.”

“My father is prophesized to pass this winter.”

You don’t really know how to respond to such a revelation, not that you were ever good at consoling people to begin with. You literally tried to crack a joke when Jimin’s cat died two years ago and thought it would cheer him up, which ended up doing more harm than good.

“So basically the first snow will be your coronation.” You attempt to use reasoning this time around.

Taehyung nods. “If the flakes are not crystal, the people will not accept me as the new king.”

…

So as expected, the weatherman was wrong about the snow. You weren’t excessively disappointed because you had never put much faith into the accuracy of weather predictions, if anything you just felt kind of bad for Taehyung because you found him eagerly sitting by the window the next morning, waiting for white snowflakes to fall from the sky. Which they never do because weather readings are shitty, and nothing on earth is ever 100% guaranteed, even if it claims to be.

You don’t think you’ve ever hated the weatherman this much for being wrong.

“It’s bound to snow eventually.” You pat Taehyung on the shoulder, a weak form of comfort, but within the same category nonetheless. “We’ve always had a white Christmas, and even if the weather says it’s not going to snow, there are a lot of miracles around this time of year.” You personally don’t believe in miracles, but the words had flown out of your mouth before you had a chance to stop them.

Taehyung just nods, not fully understanding what Christmas miracles were since it’s probably not a cultural thing where he’s from, but he does understand what you’re trying to do, and you’re relieved you’ve managed to restore some of his optimism.

“So what’s the Winter Kingdom like?” You query, thinking that perhaps knowing more about him and where he’s from will reveal some clues as to why his snow is destined to be crystal…not that you understood the differences between the various types of snow or anything. But small talk, right?

“Cold.” He grins, mouth forming a rectangular shape and you wonder why you never noticed how distinct his smile is, but then you come to realize that this was the first time you’ve seen him smile in such a way, like really beam so brightly that his lips are stretching from ear to ear. “The land is blanketed in sheets of snow, and all of our infrastructure is made of diamond-like ice.”

“Do you miss it?”

Taehyung sighs. “In all honesty, I don’t.”

Your ears perk up, eyelids fluttering open wider. “So you don’t actually want to go back?”

“Not if I had a choice.” He looks at the floor and smiles less enthusiastically. “It’s not very fun tending to royal matters every day, but my people need me, and it is my duty to take the place of my father.”

“Oh, right��”

…

Jimin doesn’t think any of this is actually going to work out. He doesn’t have faith, and you don’t blame him. Heck, you more than fully agree with his doubt, but you were really being unlike yourself for not giving up despite the odds. You had spent the last weekend scouring the city for clues, nonexistent ones at that, but a little voice inside was threatening you with the belief that if you didn’t at least look like you were trying, Taehyung would leave and look for someone more “qualified”. He would finally come to terms with how useless you were, and leave you…not that you wanted him to stay…but you more than obviously do.

“I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but Y/N, do you seriously think he’s going to find his ticket to the throne here on earth?”

“Well what am I supposed to do, Jimin?” You burry your head in his couch cushion that smells oddly like Jungkook, and you know exactly why. You scrunch your nose and toss it off to the side. “He’s all alone, and I barely had the guts to come over here today and just leave him by himself at my place.”

“You left him in you’re apartment…alone?” Jimin’s jaw hangs slightly.

You narrow your eyes suspiciously. “You’re point?”

“I dunno. Like what if he burns the whole place down or something?”

“Why are you acting like he’s a pyromaniac? He’s a winter prince.” You cross your arms protectively, frowning at how ridiculous you thought Jimin was being.

“You didn’t even trust me to be alone with your laptop until we had known each other for months, and now you’re just letting strangers stay at your place alone?” Jimin looks to be a mix of disbelief and a tinge of jealousy.

“Jimin, I’ve been sleeping with the guy for the past week, if he wanted to kidnap me or steal my stuff, he would’ve done it by now.”

“You’ve already slept with him?!” He probably didn’t intend for his voice to get so loud or for it to sound so alarmed, but it does and it makes you jump a little in your seat.

“Not like sleep, sleep…but just sleep, you know?” You quickly defend.

A look of relief washes over Jimin’s face, not that he really cared who you actually slept with…it’s just surprising to him that you would trust someone so easily, when he literally had to work his butt off to even get you to go out to eat with him and his buddies for the first few months you had met.

“But still…what does he have that I don’t?” He mutters.

“Height” Jungkook’s voice startles the both of you, but he was clearly unaware of what you two were actually talking about by the way he nonchalantly plops down on the couch and turns on the TV.

Jimin looks like he’s about to run up and kick the younger male’s ass, but refrains from doing so seeing as though you were still in the room.

“How did you know he was tall?” You inquire, astonished that Jimin would tell Jungkook about Taehyung without your permission.

Jungkook casually turns to look at you. “Who?”

“Taehyung”

“Who’s Taehyung?”

“The guy-” You stop yourself before continuing. “Wait, so who were you referring to when you said he had height over Jimin.”

“Well, I mean, isn’t every one taller than Jimin?” Jungkook cackles obnoxiously, leaning back against the couch.

“Do you want me to kick you in the balls?” Jimin’s voice is strained as he tries to hold back his annoyance.

“Can you guys not do this now?” You roll your eyes at their childishness.

“So who’s this Taehyung guy?” Jungkook cocks a brow. “New boyfriend?”

“He’s a prince.” Jimin mutters.

“A prince?” Jungkook huffs dubiously.

“He’s not from around here.” You explain.

It takes a good half an hour for you and Jimin to convince Jungkook that the two of you weren’t pulling some lame prank on him. Jungkook isn’t exactly the type to cast aside something just because it sounds outlandish, but he’s also not going to readily believe in whatever his friends tell him, especially something as unbelievable as this.

“Crystal Snow huh?” Jungkook’s eyes are wide as he stares into oblivion, nodding his head as he pokes his tongue in his cheek. “Like snowflakes?”

You shake your head. “That’s what I thought at first too, but apparently there’s a deeper meaning.”

“Of course there’s a deeper meaning. If it was just snow, I doubt he’d be sent to earth to find something his entire kingdom is covered in, literally.” Jimin tosses a couch cushion to the side and leans forward against his knees. “It has to be something he can only find here…like love or something.”

“As expected from the romantic one…” Jungkook mutters.

“Last time I checked, you wanted to meet your soulmate by hearing a bell in your head.” You comment, knowing fully well that it’s something your group of friends still make fun of him for, playfully of course. Jungkook’s face heats up, but you decide to not see how red it can get.

You turn to Jimin instead. “So you’re saying love doesn’t exist back in his kingdom?”

Jimin furrows his brows. “I’m just saying it’s probably not something tangible and snow is always portrayed as romantic or at least somewhat along those lines, right?”

“Wow, you two are really determined.” Jungkook comments before getting up and heading to the kitchen to grab something to eat. The room feels a lot dimmer now that the television screen is back to black.

“Maybe make him watch some romantic winter movies?” Jimin suggests. “And if that doesn’t work-“

“If that doesn’t work, I guess I’ll just have to hope he’ll have an ‘ah-ha’ moment when it actually snows.” You sigh, finishing the sentence for him.

…

So maybe Jimin was right about leaving strangers alone in your apartment, or maybe you should’ve told Taehyung how to turn on the lights because by the time you make it back, the entire place was pitch black. But that couldn’t be it because you could’ve sworn he had seen you turn on the light switch before and he was definitely intelligent enough to put one and one together.

Then you realize the power must’ve gone out because the entire complex was void of light and freezing cold because the heating had ceased as well.

“Taehyung?” You call out, feeling against the walls with your outstretched arms.

“I’m in the bedroom” You hear a familiar baritone voice drift over, and sure enough there he is, overgrown bangs covering his glossy eyes.

“What are you doing in here?” You question, barely able to make out the silhouette of the man standing by the window where the smallest amount of moonlight was filtering in through the blinds.

“Sorry, I was just looking through some of your old pictures.” He murmurs. “And then the lights went out and I thought I had angered the gods, but they won’t seem to listen to my apology.”

He genuinely sounded scared, and you have to try and not run up to give him a hug. “It’s just a power outage. The lights will be back in no time.” You reassure him, despite knowing that the electricity won’t be back until tomorrow at the earliest.

“So it wasn’t me?”

You shake your head. “Of course not!”

“Oh, ok, that’s good.” He slowly puts the photo he was still nervously holding in his hands back in to the bedside drawer. “Well, I’ll just let you rest…”

He starts to walk out the room, but something about being left alone in a cold dark room makes you-

“Do you want to sleep here tonight?” Your question hangs in midair, long enough to notice, but not long enough to make you retract your offer before Taehyung could accept it.

And you didn’t know why you were expecting him to be icy cold, but he was actually inexplicably warm. Warmer than the rays of sun hitting your skin on a chilly winter day, warmer than the wisps of heat from a crackling fireplace in the middle of a snowstorm, and certainly warmer than you imagined a winter prince would be.

“Is this ok?” Taehyung’s voice is low and creamy, and it makes you wonder if you are dreaming as you nuzzle closer to his chest. You don’t really know how it happened, but somehow you ended up in a position where you were enveloped in Taehyung’s arms, but you have a hunch it’s because you were shivering so hard he felt obligated to offer you some warmth. Or maybe there was more to it than that.

“Are you uncomfortable?” You murmur lazily, pulling back a little out of courtesy.

“No, no” Taehyung replies quickly. “It’s just…I-I’ve never shared a bed with a woman.” His statement is so soft you almost couldn’t make out the last part.

“Oh right, royal marriages are arranged” If you weren’t already half asleep your heart would be racing by now and you’d be tripping over your words like there’s no tomorrow. “Don’t over think it. Just do whatever feels right.”

You’re lucky Taehyung’s a gentleman, or more accurately a noble prince because two practical strangers doing whatever feels right in bed usually doesn’t end up being right.

Taehyung shifts into a more comfortable position, one in which your face is buried into the crook of his neck and his chin is resting gently on top of your head. The world was still moving at its regular pace, and the room was icy cold, but the heat of his body is lulling you into the realm of slumber.

…

“It’s called science”

You didn’t really know what you were doing with a glass cup and silver spoon, mixing a whole bunch of salt in not enough water, an attempt to create an oversaturated solution.

“Science?” He says it in that same confused tone he always does, and it makes you flash him an assertive look that is not fitting of your randomly conjured idea.

“If it’s not going to snow, we’re going to make crystals some other way.” You reason in an attempt to sound like you know what you are doing.

Confidence is key.

You even had a rock candy jar set up in the kitchen this morning, and you were planning on going window shopping in some of the jewelry stores downtown right after you set up the evaporation apparatus.

Maybe you were just insane and maybe all of your efforts are useless, but you didn’t want to give up. And despite never being the type to clutch onto unrealistic expectations or endure through things that you knew you’d never succeed in, you were somehow persuading yourself that as long as you kept trying, something was bound to come out of it. As pathetic as it sounds, you were also secretly enjoying all of this just, success or failure, because it meant spending more time with Taehyung. Seriously, what was wrong with you?

Impractical logic aside, thank goodness the jewelry shops downtown are not on the same street as the luxury fashion brands, because your wallet still hasn’t recovered from being sucked dry at Gucci, and you know for a fact that another look of longing from Taehyung’s glittery eyes will weaken your already crumbling resolve to not put yourself deeper in financial debt.

Strolling along the shop lined streets; you gradually forget why you were looking at jewelry to begin with because Taehyung starts humming this beautiful melody that you are sure isn’t from Earth, and it urges you to allow yourself to enjoy his soothing company, freed from all the concerns that had subconsciously plagued your mind, even if it’s just for a little while.

There was virtually no one in the area, sans the occasional car and dog walker. You presume it’s because everyone had already finished doing all of their Christmas shopping by now and were probably all waiting to exchange gifts in 2 days. It’s serene and relieving to know you don’t find the need to fill in the silence, because just walking alongside Taehyung was comfortable enough to feel at home, something you don’t think you’ve ever experienced before, because even with Jimin, things get a bit awkward if neither of you talk for longer than 10 minutes.

Hours pass by and you start to wonder if the salt water from this morning has already evaporated from the shallow dish you had poured it in, or if sugar crystals have latched onto the string inside the Mason jar. Just as you were pondering over these things, Taehyung stops in front of one of the jewelry shops, staring at a stunning gemstone through the freshly cleaned glass window.

“It’s a diamond wedding ring.” You explain casually, glancing over at the piece he was observing. “Cause diamonds are supposed to be a symbol of forever and stuff.” You shrug, not really interested in these kind of things since marriage was leagues away from your current very, solo, single life.

“A diamond wedding ring?” Taehyung’s curiosity surprises you.

“Yeah, in our world we used those for marriage.”

“Ah, the union of two lovers.” Taehyung nods in understanding. “We have something similar back in the kingdom, but it’s made of a kind of ice that never melts.”

This time it’s your turn to nod, and although you are trying to avoid eye contact for reasons you claim you aren’t aware of, you can feel his attention settle on you once more. “So ummm, have you-uh…do you know who…” You bite your lip, regretting even bringing the topic up. How the hell did that question slip out?

Taehyung shakes his head. “There was another part to the prophecy…” He inhales deeply before proceeding. “I will rule without a queen.”

Your eyes widen at his statement. “Wait, what? Why?” You don’t know why you’re getting so worked up over something that doesn’t even really affect you, or at least, isn’t supposed to. But it isn’t even just you; because who wouldn’t find a prophecy like that beyond unbelievable? Not only was it was unfair, but it also made no sense whatsoever because doesn’t every ruler have to procreate? What King rules without a Queen? How else are they supposed to continue the royal bloodline?

Taehyung huffs a weak laugh, one that gives off a powerless sort of acceptance. “When I first heard about this, I thought I was surely cursed. But the sorceress told me that I end up living a happy life, so maybe it’s not as bad as it sounds.”

“Geez” You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “This prophecy sounds more and more like some evil doctrine written by the angry gods.”

Taehyung turns to you with a playful glint in his eyes, and you’re caught between a storm of pity and endearment. “Because I looked through your old photographs without your permission, right?” You know he’s trying to lighten the mood, and you’re more than grateful you don’t have to use you nonexistent comforting skills.

You laugh lightheartedly. “Eh, it’s fine. I don’t have any dark secrets that need to remain buried. Although I would prefer that one photo of me with birthday cake all over my face to remain anonymous.”

“You were very cute as a child,” He unexpectedly says before pausing and adding- “Still are.”

“W-what?” Your heart skips a beat and you can sense the heat rapidly flooding your cheeks. “I-I, uh…thanks?” You mentally face palm at your own awkward response, but what were you supposed to say when he just blurts stuff out like it was the most normal compliment he could’ve given you in that not-so-suitable moment?

You almost feel attacked (in a good way, you guess…). It’s definitely not how you ever imagined being complimented, but it makes a kind of giddy warmth spread throughout your chest, and you almost forget about the bitter cold wind that is blowing towards your face.

…

You were originally planning on going home for Christmas, but you didn’t think introducing Taehyung to your family and extended family would be a very good idea. Not that you wouldn’t love to see the jealous look on all of you female cousins’ faces if they assumed you had found a new boyfriend who was hot as hell, with visuals that were literally unreal if you had to describe it in not-so-poetic words.

“Can we go there?” Taehyung points at the scene in the television where one of your favorite Christmas movies was flashing across the screen.

So yeah, the Grinch isn’t exactly a romantic winter movie, but you really wanted to watch something festive and traditional, especially since Christmas films were something you looked forward to watching every year.

“It’s just a movie. Whoville isn’t real.” Your eyes remained glued to the screen where the people of Whoville were waking up and realizing all of their presents and Christmas decorations were stolen.

“Oh…it’s not?”

There’s a certain amount of disappointment tangled in his voice, tearing your attention away from the movie. You never felt bad about being direct with Taehyung, and he never took your blatant honesty offensively (minus that time with his silk robe), but it’s been an entire two weeks and the two of you had not come any closer to finding crystal snow, or any snow at all for that matter. You could tell he was starting to lose hope, and you can’t help but feel regretful about how limited your aid to him was.

“Listen Tae, I’m sorry I’ve been the shittiest form of help you had the misfortune of finding on this planet-” You’re not allowed to finish what you were going to say because the hand that reaches up and caresses your cheek makes you stop mid-sentence, mouth still hanging agape.

Lifting your gaze you are met with a pair of eyes so tender that you swear your breathing has stopped all together. There is a stillness that falls over your living room, and even the subtle flashing of the TV in your peripheral is not enough to convince you that time has not stopped as well.

“Your kindness was more than I could’ve asked for.” His eyes are now tracing along the contours of your face as he continues to cup your jaw in his graceful hands, skin smooth and soft. You vaguely see his tongue poke out and wet his lips from the corner of your eye, but your attention was too focused on his glistening pupils in that moment to notice him leaning closer and closer, until the distance between the two of you was nonexistent.

His lips envelope yours in slow and steady strides. Taking his time to taste you like the most opulent fruit in the forbidden garden, and allowing you to subside from initial shock and fall into the realm of relishing in the sweetness of his enchanting touch. You lose track of the seconds that pass by, and you don’t notice the movie ending and the screen fading to black. Fuzzy clouds that are too nebulous to make out are gradually beginning to cover the moon, and that’s when the magic happens.

“It’s snowing!” You gasp as he breaks away from the kiss.

Taehyung’s gaze trails after the finger you had lifted to point out the window.

…

Once upon a time, a winter prince fell in love and crystals fell from the sky.

You don’t remember what happened after it started snowing last night. You do, however, recall running out the door without your coat and forgetting about how easy it was to catch a cold because you were too excited over nothing as you soon came to discover the next day.

“You should be glad I called Seokjin right away.” Jimin says as he feeds you a spoonful of hot soup, courtesy of the resident chef.

“I could’ve just called him myself.” You defend, voice hindered by your stuffy nose.

“But then I still would’ve had to bring it over.” Jimin counters. “Am I right or am I right?”

You mildly roll your eyes. “Yes, Jimin, thank you for the kindness you have shown me.”

“Well, at least I know you’d do the same for me.” His eyes transform into half moons as he beams, choosing to ignore your sarcastic tone.

“Would I though?”

Jimin’s crescents narrow into slits, and he stops feeding you.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Of course I would!”

His smile makes a return. “By the way, where’s Taehyung?”

You nod your head towards the bedroom window, facing the area where Taehyung was still outside watching the snowfall.

“I’m still banking on that ‘ah-ha’ moment, because after this, I’m all out of ideas.”

“Did you make him watch romantic winter movies?”

“Umm, not exactly…” Your mind has a flashback of scenes from the Grinch, and subsequently the kiss that happened less than 12 hours ago. You inform Jimin of what had happened, skipping the unnecessary details for obvious reasons.

“You kissed?!” He shouts so loudly you swear Taehyung could hear him from outside.

“Yeah… about that… I don’t know how it happened, but I didn’t pull away and it was actually…quite nice….” You scratch the back of your neck awkwardly.

“Oh my fucking god.”

“Why are you acting like I did something illegal?”

“It’s not that…” Jimin sighs. “It’s just…you’ve really fallen hard.”

You cross your arms defensively, pursing your lips and scrunching your nose in distaste. “And you would know because…?”

“Y/N, you’re friends with six of the hottest guys in the country, and we’ve all tried to get in your pants at one point or another. Minus Jungkook who couldn’t talk to girls until a year ago.” He lays out the facts on the table.

Your face twists in mild disgust. “Stop stroking your ego. And ewww, can you not put it so vulgarly?”

Jimin lets out a prolonged sigh. “The point is, you don’t fall for people easily, and the fact that you were soft for him from the start really says something.”

You ponder over what Jimin had said- the conclusion that he, as your friend of many years, had come to- and deem it not incorrect, yes, double negative. But you also weren’t so keen on readily accepting the indisputable fact that you had fallen for someone who was not even of your world, and a prince of all unearthly beings you could’ve had the chance of stumbling upon.

Completely absurd, right?

Taehyung comes back inside shortly after Jimin leaves in the evening. He had been outside all day and yet his body temperature is still as warm as it always is. He slips into bed quietly, assuming that you were asleep but you stir a little to signal to him that you were still awake. For once you are glad that your fever can act as an excuse for how flushed your cheeks are looking, not that it would’ve been obvious in the dark room anyways.

“So did you find it?” You inquire meekly, face still half covered by your blanket.

He hums delicately, eyes still concentrated on the wintry scenery outside.

“I think I’m leaving soon.”

You poke your head above the covers in minor shock. You obviously hadn’t expected this moment to come so quickly, but then again, you had been hoping the snow would provide him the answers he was searching for, and it was supposed to be a relief that it did. It’s just you had anticipated to have more time to at least say goodbye, but it seems that you will not be granted that kind of closing fulfillment.

“I can sense her approach.” Taehyung says, voice not giving away any sort of emotion from what you could tell.

“Holy shit, the sorceress?”

He nods and you can hear the friction of his head against the pillow.

“Am I going to like, meet her? Is she scary?”

“No and no” He chuckles lightly. “She will not appear in her physical form when she comes to take me, but she is very beautiful.”

“So the Winter Kingdom is just full of ethereal creatures.”

“That’s one way to put it.” The both of you laugh, but it doesn’t wash away the subtle stinging that lodges itself in your throat.

A long silent passes, and neither of you make a move to address the unknown fate that is drifting in the space between you.

At one point you almost do it, just ask the question that is burning on the tip of your tongue, but you’re afraid to hear the answer you fear he’s going to give you. Maybe it’s best that you don’t know, so that you can continue to believe in happy endings.

…

When Taehyung does leave, he does so soundlessly. Early the next morning in those seconds before dawn where the sky is the darkest but the sun is just around the corner.

To him the feeling is foreign even though he is being taken home, and there is a certain amount of uncertainty and hesitation even though the sorceress reassures him the prophecy has, indeed, been fulfilled.

“You understand now, don’t you?” The elderly woman’s voice echoes under the ethereal light raining down from above, colors splitting into their respective wavelengths and casting rainbows in the space around him.

Taehyung only nods at her words, not entirely paying attention to how he was being transported back to the Winter Kingdom. But it didn’t really matter because he’s preparing to re-enter the palace, to be welcomed by his family, and to fall back into his old life.

The palace has not changed one bit, walls still as smooth and icy as they were when he left, albeit he has not been gone for all that long. His mother is ecstatic to have him back, and his father only nods in acceptance knowing his reign will soon come to an end.

“Welcome back, my son.” The King is perched on his throne, looking down at the prince who will soon be inheriting his kingdom.

“Thank you father” Taehyung bows ceremoniously.

“I assume you have learned what you needed?” The King’s voice is not harsh, but laced with a hue of sympathy that is unlike his usual demanding self, like he knew the destiny that was to befall his son and was feeling rather apologetic.

“Yes, father.”

“Very well then.” He exhales before calling for one of the royal servants to bring Taehyung up to his bedroom, a magnificent chamber located on the second floor of the Winter Palace.

Taehyung bows one last time before taking his leave back to his room where he can have time to think over all that has happened. Never had his legs felt this heavy walking up the grand staircase, and never has he felt this reluctant to walk into his room as if he had never left, as if the past few weeks was nothing more than a distant dream.

“Your majesty, would you like change out of those… rags?” The servant lady’s comment was not intended to be offensive, but the way she referred to his earthly garments sparked a flame of anger in Taehyung, one that he would’ve acted upon had his mother not walked in before he could contest.

“He most certainly would.” Her voice is commanding but not forceful enough to come off as aggressive.

“Mother” Taehyung gasps.

“My son, I’m so glad you are back.” She walks over and embraced Taehyung warmly, a hug he eagerly returns. “How was it? How do you feel? Were the people on Earth kind to you?” The questions come quicker than he can answer.

“It was amazing, mother. I was so happy.” He rests his head against her shoulder, staying in that position for just a tad bit longer.

“You met her, didn’t you?” She murmurs.

Taehyung nods tenderly, trying to come to terms with the muted aching that has settled in his chest, making a home at the center of his heart.

The layers of contiguous white expanse covering the land are waiting to welcome the snow his heartfelt yearning will bring as the frozen trees and icy cottages display the timelessly enthralling scenery he has known since he was born.

The people of his kingdom will never know the true meaning behind the snow he is destined to gift the wintry world, but he knows, and despite the hidden sadness that lies at the root of its beauty, he’s holding onto the conviction that it will become less painful one day.

You had defied every expectation he had for the meaning of his snow; every possible explanation the world could have given him an answer for, as well as everything he ever knew about himself and what his heart is capable of creating. His snow that is breathtakingly beautiful and different from that of all of his predecessors is a precious fairytale that will remain engraved in history books for several millennia.

The yearning of star-crossed lovers who have not given up on the hope that they will one day meet again, like crystals that have yet to melt into tears.

“Someday…” Taehyung whispers, gazing at the crystal flowers that are now starting to gently fall from the sky.

On particularly cold winter days you still think about him.

You don’t draw upon those memories on purpose, and they aren’t called forth as often as they used to be, but there are times when you are walking on untouched white expanses or when you experience the first snowfall of the season, that you are reminded of the enchanting circumstances in which you met him.

Sometimes you wonder if any of it actually happened. If he was real and still exists somewhere…out there, in the prisms of crystallized snowflakes that hold entire stories within their multidimensional crevices, and if he is perhaps thinking of you.

“Someday…” You voice into the wind.

You close your eyes, basking amidst the warm sunlight cascading from the clear, cloudless firmament, but you can’t seem to be left in peace because-

“Are you just talking to yourself?”

Your eyes flutter open, whipping your head around to see Jimin trudging up the path that is now covered in 6 inches of freshly fallen snow.

“I-uh, umm” You’re at loss for words because you swear you were alone, and no one has ever caught you in your most private moments. “I was just clearing my head.”

“You’re thinking about him aren’t you?” His question was so direct you find yourself at loss for words for the second time in a row.

“Does it matter? He’s gone.”

“Have you tried calling him back?”

You scoff. “Are you indirectly making fun of me right now?”

Jimin shakes his head violently. “No! Why would I do that?”

“Jimin, he’s from another world. It’s not like I have any way of reaching him now.”

“But still, you can’t give up hope that easily.”

As pathetic as it sounds, truthfully, you really haven’t given up hope. Because if you did, you wouldn’t still be thinking about him in your loneliest moments, and as much as you want to wave off thoughts of him returning, you can’t help but clutch onto that thread of possibility still shining brilliantly like diamonds under the sun.

And it is on a particularly chilly day, characteristic of all winters, that Jimin’s words prove themselves right, although you refuse to give him credit for anything.

“Y/N!”

The all too familiar baritone voice startles you to the point where you find yourself stumbling backwards, slipping on a small patch of ice, and landing flat on your butt. Normally you’d be cursing in pain, but you’re too busy staring in awe of the man standing before you that you completely forget about the excruciatingly embarrassing fall you had just taken part in.

“T-Taehyung?”

“Are you ok?” He furrows his eyebrows in concern, causing you to realize you were still sprawled on the ground.

“I-uh, yeah I’m fine. B-but how-?” You cautiously stand up, dusting the snow off your pants, eyes never leaving the face of the impossibly ethereal person positioned before you.

“I decided to come back.” The boxy smile that causes warmth to spread throughout your entire being makes an appearance and lights up his face. You have to blink several times to make sure you are not seeing things, and that he is indeed not a figment of your imagination in that split second.

You can barely digest the situation you were in. “But what about you’re family? Your people! The Kingdom!?”

He chuckles. “I left it in good hands.” He voices proudly. “And it’s still snowing crystals.”

“But, but, but…” There was so much you wanted to ask. So much you didn’t understand, and it didn’t help that you were both now standing the middle of the park that has now transformed into a winter wonderland.

Taehyung reaches up to cups your cheeks in his hands, melting your frost bitten skin. “I missed you.” He whispers. “And I finally found the meaning of my snow.”

Snowflakes that freeze slowly into the clearest form of ice, pure and gentle, the way tender emotions develop into deep, everlasting love.

You aren’t able to hear the rest of what he says, or maybe he doesn’t even bother to finish because he obviously can’t kiss you and speak at the same time. All you can remember is him momentarily breaking away to ask-

“Can I be your one?”

-and you nodding before feeling the gentle touch of his lips connected to yours once again.

So yeah, you were right about believing in happy endings.

...

#bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bangtan bookclub #sfwbangtan #btswriters #taehyung scenarios #taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung #kim taehyung x reader #bts crystal snow #prince!taehyung #royal au #this was supposed to be super angsty #but i made the ending happy for the holidays #please enjoy!

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