#* » the hornets . : we'll take it from here .

[xomakara]

Between Loads | J.YH

SUMMARY | You hate doing laundry but maybe your next door neighbor, Yunho, can make it worth your time.

PAIRINGS |  Yunho x Reader 

RATING |  Mature, NSFW, EXPLICIT, MDNI, 18+, Any Minors and Ageless Blogs will be blocked

GENRE |  smut, pwp, romance, neighbors to lovers, fluff

CONTENT/WARNINGS | the 6th floor has creepy crawlies (but nothing really happens), profanity, flirting, teasing, unprotective sex (wrap it up ya'll), oral sex (both m/f receiving/giving), dirty talk, laundry jokes, just jokes all around, kissing, skin marking, skin biting, hair pulling, fingering, multiple positions, creampies, breeding/impregnation kink 

LENGTH |  7,004 words 

TAGLIST |  @aerangi   

NETWORKS |  @illusionnet  @cromernet  @othersideoutlawsnetwork  @winerys-collection  @cosyhomenet  @keopihaus  @ksmutsociety  @k-vanity 

AUTHOR’S NOTE | Thank you @pars-ley for the banner! I love it so much 💛💚 and thank you @lovetaroandtaemin and @heartikeu for beta-reading the beginning of the fic. And now she is completed! On another note, Yunho. Goddamn Yunho.

ATEEZ Main Masterlist

You hate doing laundry in this ever busy apartment building. Since it's late Saturday morning, all of the washers on the first floor have been preempted by people doing laundry to start their day. It'll take ages before a washing machine opens up, and you know that if you stick around, you're likely to have a load ruined from the little kids running about.

You wish management would provide folks with their own laundry hookups like they had with the dishwashers and stoves. Having one in your apartment would be heavenly. Instead, you have to head down several floors to the laundry room and then wait for God-only-knows how long for the damn machines to free up. The faster you could get in and out, the better off you would be.

"Maybe I'll go up to the sixth floor and use the laundry there?" you muse aloud as you pack away the rest of your clothes into your hamper. "But... Ugh, if it's not one thing, it's another!"

You normally avoid the sixth floor laundry room unless there are no machines available on the first, simply because you don't want the hassle of going into the hornets' nest. With the halls of the sixth floor filled with majority men for some odd reason, you want to avoid any harassment in the communal laundry room. You doubt very much whether they could keep their hands to themselves if you had no protection.

"Why must I face this annoyance?!" you yell as you storm down to the elevator with your basket. "It's a hassle, but, fine! Just this once! But, if they try to grab my butt or something, I'm punching someone! They better believe it!"

Armed with enough detergent and soap, you find the communal laundry room a touch more empty than your norm. With less folks around, maybe it will mean a quick load and not much trouble? The thought crosses your mind, but in reality, you know otherwise. 

"You're here too, Y/N?" Your next door neighbor, Yunho, pokes his head out of the open washer as you set the hamper down. "You're not usually here on the sixth floor."

"It's crowded and annoying downstairs," you state. "I don't usually come up here because of the jerks that are on this floor, but desperate times and all of that nonsense."

"Yeah, this floor is crawling with creeps," he agrees.

"I'd love having a washer and dryer set-up in my place. Then I could avoid places like this."

Yunho continues working on loading up his washer, though, you catch his sly glances as you begin sorting things into the next available washers. "Until then, let me know when you do laundry and I'll come up and wash. I promise to help deter the creepy-crawlies."

You can't help but laugh at his offer. "All right, fine. Thanks, I guess." You pushed the last of the clothes into your washer and slammed the lid down. "We'll see how it goes."

How many years have you known Yunho? How long did he live next door to you on the fourth floor? It's been a few years already... Maybe three? Maybe four? Enough that you feel you're used to seeing him, even with his incredibly handsome features, every now and again.

He is very easy on the eyes. Almost a bit too perfect. Tall, with a bright smile, nice arms, and toned thighs... what you would give to climb him like a tree and—

Nope!

No, stop, don't start thinking dirty. Bad Y/N. Bad, dirty brain. Stop perving on Yunho, now.

You glanced up at his bright smile, and turned back to the washing machines. Oh no. It was a sinfully sinful thing to imagine the many ways Yunho might kiss your neck, those hands pushing up your shirt and—

You have to shake your head before things get out of hand. This isn't the time or place to have these kinds of thoughts. The sooner your laundry is done, the sooner you can get back down to your own floor and hide your face behind the closed doors and take care of certain... urges that are beginning to surface.

But as you glance back up at Yunho, seeing him leaning over his own washer as he puts the last of his loads in, a heat pools in the pit of your belly. What you wouldn't do to have him fuck you over one of the washers or against the folding table in the middle of the room. Oh no, there was no mistaking how good and strong those arms would feel wrapped around you, thrusting inside you and whispering in your ear.

Bad... bad thoughts... You don't need this right now. No, you do not need the added strain of Yunho's visuals causing such fantasies. Nope, nope. Don't start, you're getting too worked up thinking about it, stop. You bite down on your lower lip, eyes staring a hole into the washer before you.

"Y/N? Everything all right?" Yunho leans over his washer and peers at you. "You seem distracted."

Oh, how sweet a distraction... If Yunho would shut his mouth, that might make things go easier, right? Shut the door, lock us both in here for hours, and let loose? "I'm fine," you blurt out, flinging a hand towards him. "Just hate waiting for laundry to do its job."

"Sounds like you need something else to take your mind off it. Porn always helps me get through chores faster."

A strange noise escapes your throat, something between a retch and a wheeze. Your entire face flushes darkly, and you rub your palms against your cheeks. "What?!"

"That was a joke," he chuckled.

"Don't say shit like that," you groan. "Especially in a public space. Like seriously, who knows when some other crazy neighbor will walk through those doors?"

"Yeah, no, good point." Yunho nods, and you can’t help but laugh along with him. "How long did you put in to wash those?"

"Just a medium load. So... Half an hour. Probably 35 minutes," you answer. "Then, another half an hour to dry. Can't get out too fast, else I might forget stuff."

Yunho hits a button on his washer and leans his hip against the top of it, making an audible clicking sound from his tongue. "Wanna go for a walk around while we wait? Might help take our minds off chores for a while. And it'll keep those jerkfaces down here from bugging you."

"Sure, why the hell not."

As you two wander the halls, you're somewhat surprised how not creepy everything is. Yunho is, like always, a pleasure to speak with as the two of you trade gossip, funny stories, and daily happenings. This time, however, you focus a bit too much on his lips moving, the curve of his smile, and the soft laugh that breaks the quiet air. Your mind flitters and keeps drifting back to thoughts of that moment, imagining how it would feel.

Fuck, his lips look soft.

That's it.

Yunho's lips are full and plush looking. Very soft. Probably the best kissing lips that a man could possess, even in such a harsh looking face. They practically beg to be devoured. The kind of lips you could easily imagine sliding against your body with ease, tasting each and every inch, and then engulfing you whole.

Fuck.

Even with Yunho talking animatedly, you can't pull your focus away. The urge to steal his lips in a kiss overcame you.

It can't hurt.

"Shit, I want to kiss you."

Or, it might hurt. A lot, in fact, considering Yunho's steps falter, and he almost face plants into the wall. He looks at you with wild, confused eyes. "What?!"

"Shit," you close your eyes and slap your mouth a few times, "shit shit shit, sorry. My stupid mouth. Ignore that." You swallow hard and turn to walk down the stairs, a shameful blush staining your face. "Yeah, just forget all about that. Me saying that. Yeah, good plan."

Yunho watches your hasty retreat, following after with a renewed lightness in his steps. "W-Wait. That's it?"

You reach the sixth floor landing, Yunho still trailing behind you as you head towards the communal laundry. "I am a dumb idiot that blurts things like that out without thinking. Forget I even said anything, please."

"Hey," he laughs as he takes hold of your wrist, stopping your stride to his laundry room, "you can't just say something like that and expect a man to completely forget it!"

"Yes. Yes I can," you assure him. "So, you will."

He laughs again as he follows after. "Absolutely not."

"Yunho, please." You pull out of his grasp and make your way back into the laundry room where only one person sits waiting at the folding table for their dryer to finish its cycle. "I just want to die in a hole. Or the void. Yeah, the void sounds great. I want nothing more than to leave this stupid galaxy and just fade into the vacuum of space."

"Why, though?" he asks.

You open up your washer and quickly begin taking items to toss them into the dryers. "Because... I just... Ugh. I mean." You groan and hide your face against the metal lid of a dryer. "Please, it's embarrassing enough that you had to witness and hear that, you really don't want to know why."

Yunho, not backing down from this new information, leans against his own washer, studying your flushed face. "Why, though?"

"Because..."

He seems to notice your hesitance. "Come on. I won't make fun of you."

You hang your head a moment, taking a breath and holding it as you wait to feel calm again. But, when you exhale, there’s no changing the facts. He isn’t letting it go. "Ugh, you're gonna laugh."

"Maybe. Maybe not." His gentle smile makes your heart skip a beat. "Try me."

You let out another long suffering sigh. "You've just... Always looked like you'd be really good at it. Kissing. And," you continue when he starts to chuckle, "you've always been so friendly and helpful. That, uh, it gets a girl's thoughts going... A-And... S-Sorry."

He bites back his laughter as best he can, cheeks pinkened with delight. "Don't apologize, not for something like this."

"Please," you turn around, your face burning in complete embarrassment.

Yunho notices that the two of you are the only ones remaining in the laundry room, save the lone lady reading. A risky play, but perhaps there isn't any better of an option. As the woman's dryer buzzes, she gathers her things, leaving the room without hardly noticing either of you. The risk is certainly real.

"You still wanna kiss me?" Yunho's grin turns down right mischievous. "Because I gotta say... Now you've got me kinda curious, too."

You stare at him blankly. "Seriously?"

"C'mon." His voice is low and raspy, turning your legs to jelly as he approaches and takes hold of your elbows. "Nobody's around. Give it a shot. Just once."

Fuck he smells amazing. Is that aftershave? You don't know. You can't tell what scent it is, but you don't want to leave the safe cocoon his arms provide.

"J-Just once," you mumble, feeling yourself sinking into his body.

"Just once," he murmurs.

Yunho's thumb glides along your cheek before his fingers run over the shell of your ear and his palm rests gently on your jawline. He shifts and ducks slightly, his eyes drifting closed as the world fades to just you and him.

Warm, gentle lips meet, yours and your heart begins to thunder violently. Slowly, tenderly, his fingers curl around your jaw, encouraging you to follow his lead, coaxing a pleased noise to slip free. The rush of warm desire floods you, and the desire to melt against his solid frame nearly consumes you whole.

Just a simple press of lips, a taste, and just a hint of tongue that nearly drives you mad, and it leaves you wanting nothing more than more. All the build up and heat culminates into a blazing fire that courses through you.

The heavy breathing, the ragged needy moans that spilled free—did they come from your mouth or his? Did they matter, really? This wasn't enough. You wanted more, even as his teeth scraped across your lower lip, his touch and kiss sending you further into oblivion.

Until the buzz of the dryer brings you crashing back to the real world.

Both of you draw back, lips barely touching as the loud buzz of the machine interrupts your world. A sluggish, sheepish laugh is shared as you part, moving to the machines. Yunho drops down onto a chair with a smirk still tinged with a deep crimson across his cheeks as you fold clothes, still working out the embarrassment and slight afterglow you experienced.

"So?" He asks softly as he hands off folded items to you. "Thoughts?"

"Need a few more tries to confirm," you answer just as softly. "You know, so I can give an accurate review."

He laughs, taking his own clothes out of the dryer to fold. "Wouldn't want a biased opinion now."

"Mmhm, exactly."

After finishing folding up the clothing, the two of you make your way back upstairs to your shared floor, teasing and poking, giving and stealing lingering, awkward glances along the way.

It isn't until you parted ways with an airy promise for another "chore" session together that a revelation dawned upon you.

It would be so very easy to fall completely in love with Jeong Yunho.

Yunho stayed true to his words to accompany you in the laundry room on the sixth floor, sneaking in kisses each time, leaving you wanting so much more each time. It was a fun, little secret shared just between you two. And then, eventually, it bled into other things. Like going on dates, a shared couch cuddle and a good movie, maybe an evening of food delivery, stolen glances, and hand holding. You met his friends, he met your friends, more dates came afterward, and then he became your boyfriend.

Yunho managed to convince the building's management to let him get a washer and dryer combination inside the apartment instead of having to trudge a bunch of floors down or up to the laundromat. What a plus. Now, not only could you easily wash a load or two, but you and Yunho could easily watch movies while you waited for everything to wash, dry, and fold.

You were sitting in your apartment one night after putting your clean clothes away, when a knock sounded on your door. You padded over and cracked it open, Yunho looking back at you from the doorway with an impish smirk.

"I think some of your clothes got mixed in with mine," he says, raising one of your lacy panties up as if to display it. "Looks like a pretty important thing for you to get back."

"My, my, Yunho. You sure you didn't just stuff it into your own hamper to bring over under the pretense of 'oopsies' and 'drats, how did these get mixed in?'"

He laughs and shoulders his way into your apartment, the front door shutting behind him with a kick of a foot. "Geez, you got me figured out! Don't expose me!"

Your shared laughter fills your tiny apartment as he picks you up and tosses you on your own bed, a huge goofy grin on his face.

"By all means, please steal away my panties if you wish."

"Oh? Should I get the matching bra too? Make it a matching set?"

"A truly insidious master plot!" You laugh. "What else do you plan to get while you're in my place?"

Yunho steals a sweet kiss and shrugs. "Figured a few kisses would make me feel better, and maybe borrow a girl in lacy undergarments?" He nibbles a bit on your throat. "Only if she doesn't mind."

"Hmm, fine, I guess you can steal away the goods," you murmur, tracing over his lips. "But, you know, the price of a kiss like that is really high. Might even need a couple."

"Are we bartering kisses for your lovely underwear?"

"Yes."

"Then, let's see."

The two of you hold one another, laughing in between long, drawn out kisses. Each kiss grows longer, deeper, and sweeter than the last, and soon, a hot need for something more than innocent kisses begins to consume you. Yunho's touches are soft, tender, and all-consuming, a strange mix of heady lust and gentle caresses that send a rush of adrenaline into your heart. You slip your hands under the bottom hem of his shirt, pushing it up to feel his heated flesh under the tips of your fingers. His back, his broad chest, the muscles under his skin, you want nothing more than to explore every single inch of him.

"Your kisses have gotten very... demanding... lately." Yunho's chest vibrates with his laugh.

"Oh?"

He nips your shoulder, dragging his lips along your flesh. "You keep kissing and kissing and then you bite and suck on my lips, like you don't plan to give me a chance to breathe again."

"Hmm. You don't seem to dislike it, do you?" Your fingers begin unbuttoning his shirt, fingertips scraping against his skin with a delightful friction.

"Absolutely not," his laugh is soft and husky, sending your heart into overdrive and leaving the world behind as his mouth begins mapping every single inch of your exposed skin. "But," he stops long enough to tear his shirt free from his shoulders and fling it aside, "it's awfully greedy of you."

You snort a giggle. "M-Maybe. But," you suck in a shaky breath as he licks up the side of your throat, "I'm not hearing complaints!"

"Not complaining at all." His hand fans out on your thigh, stroking upward, leaving an excited trail of heat wherever he touches, causing you to let out a heady gasp. He laughs breathily against your skin, "Only that," he hooks his thumb around the waistband of your shorts and tugs lightly, "I'm very happy that my girlfriend," the buttons were freed, zipper and all, "enjoys," he presses kisses against your thighs, "a man who puts a little bite into her kisses."

Yunho slips your shorts from your legs, tossing them onto the floor with a growing pile of clothes. When you both laugh at the realization that you were nearly naked, leaving only a lace bralette and matching panties, he can't help but bite your thigh. His tongue laps at the faint red spot, and he grins up at you. "Looks really pretty on you."

"Pretty, hmm?"

"It's definitely something a beautiful girl like you wears and a man like me wants to take off her." Yunho runs a finger up and along the underside of your bare leg, tracing along your shape, the pressure causing your entire body to twitch. "Unless the gorgeous lady says I can't take it off..."

"It means more laundry for me," you giggle.

He hums and gently kisses your knees. "True... But then... I wouldn't mind doing your laundry with mine next time, would that be acceptable?"

"Hmm, I dunno..." you pull his head down towards yours and nuzzle his nose, "what would my hot neighbor slash boyfriend want as payment for doing my laundry?"

"Mmmm," he nibbles at the plumpness of your lips and chases your breathless laughter, "you." He bends lower and kisses the swell of your breasts as he whispers, "All of you."

The sound that rips from your lungs is deep, and wanting, and more than pleased with his words. "Keep talking like that," you laugh against the crook of his neck. "Because I might actually fucking marry you."

His full body laugh causes the mattress to sink and move. "I didn't realize marriage was on your mind. Is that the way to your heart?"

"Oh fuck yeah. Completely. Marry me, we'll have four dogs, and three kids."

"Just like that?"

"Sure, fuck why not."

There's another bright peal of laughter from him as he sinks down on top of your naked flesh. "Shall we call the preacher before or after you give me my next kiss?"

"Dirty, filthy proposal. You're despicable." You groan and thread your fingers through his hair.

"Can't believe you'd consider marrying a guy who has only kissed you in laundry rooms," he murmurs in between long, dizzying kisses. "What is the world coming to?"

You let out a small laugh. "Yeah, it's awful, isn't it?"

"Jokes aside..." Yunho kisses his way down your throat, your chest, across your ribcage, and against the skin under your breasts, his words sending shivers up your spine, "Would you want to have dinner, spend more time together outside of the laundry rooms? Maybe go on dates?"

Your arms wind tighter around him, and your laugh is sharp. "Mmm, y'know what?" Your palm gently runs across his forehead, brushing away his messy bangs as you catch a hold of his full attention. "I'd like that. A lot, actually."

"Yeah?" The smile on Yunho's face grows wide and radiant.

"Yeah," you laugh, "and now I want you to show me how talented you really are with those lips."

He hums happily, the sound rumbling against you. "And what exactly shall my gorgeous neighbor ask of me in that area? Keep it civil."

"How about..." you muse quietly, tugging your bra down a bit to expose a hard nub of a nipple to the air of the room, "how about a kiss here."

"This isn't very civil." Yunho's nose runs over the upper portion of the breast. "But if the lady asks..."

"Mmmm, and one right here..." You drag the hem of your panties a bit lower on your hip. "A kiss."

Yunho, understanding where your game is headed, playfully takes the lacy hem in his teeth, dragging it down to expose a tuft of trimmed pubic hair before releasing it and resting his cheek on your bare thigh. "Where does my demanding little neighbor slash girlfriend want kisses now?"

"Hm..." you tap your chin and point downwards at a spot that he finds to be utterly delectable and beautiful. "I can think of one other spot for a kiss."

"Yeah?" His breath whispers across sensitive skin, tickling and sending you spiraling into heady excitement.

"Y-yeah..." your words are barely a whisper. "Gotta say... Kinda looking forward to it."

"Happy to indulge you."

And as Yunho drags the rest of your panties free from your legs, his mouth begins a thorough worship and appreciation of the most intimate area of your body. The squeals and gasps he could wring out of you, your hands clenching his hair and the sound of his name falls from your lips with abandon spurs him on until there is nothing left in his head but pure desire to hear you cum and cry out for him.

Out of all the men that ate you out in the past, none comes close to the skills of Jeong Yunho. The others were rough, amateur, quick and wanting. Yunho took his time, savored every reaction and gasp that came. There is no need or urgency or even demand in his motions. Every touch, flick, lick, kiss, and stroke of his tongue are in total control.

Your thighs clamps against Yunho's head, holding him there, begging him to never stop with soft pleads of 'don't you dare fucking stop.' He chuckles as he gently grasps your wrists, encouraging your hands to hold on tight to his head. And when his long fingers joins in, pressing into every spot that sends an electric pulse running up and down your nerves, there was little doubt that the world stopped spinning and nothing existed but him.

Lips, tongue, and two fingers dance across your center, plunging and withdrawing until everything begins to blur into one continuous pleasure. Before long, there is nothing to stop the moans and keening wails from escaping into the quiet evening as the rush of climax exploded into ecstasy and absolute joy.

Through it all, Yunho remains between your legs, happily drinking everything you gave.

"You," you manage after the rush and joy, your voice hoarse and raw, "have one hell of a tongue on you. I mean, I already knew it was talented," his shoulders move with soft laughter, "but fuck, I could've used you a long ass time ago."

Yunho emerged between your legs, a silly smirk dancing on his lips. "Good to know I can be of some service to my demanding girlfriend. Need a breather? Or more?"

You laugh, pulling his face up so that you can reach his lips, relishing in the taste of his tongue and your pleasure mixed on them, "Oh, definitely more but I can wait after dinner."

Yunho chuckles at this. "I'm kind of regretting the order this happened, because now I'm too curious to take a raincheck for dinner and just jump straight to dessert."

"You say this as though you weren't just finishing devouring me whole, just a minute ago?" You run a fingertip along his lips. "I wouldn't have any complaints whatsoever. Besides," you move and kiss his throat, licking and nibbling a line up along the soft skin and under his jaw, "I'm looking forward to returning the favor."

He sighs softly at this and hums in thought. "You," he laughs and kisses your sweaty brow, "you know what? Dinner can wait. After."

"Yes, after," you giggle softly as you crawl down his body, eagerly unfastening his belt and pants, and helping him tug the rest of his remaining clothes free. Your lips trail up his knee, along his inner thigh, and then across the other to do the same. "Dinner can wait. Dessert, on the other hand..." You glance up at him and catch a glimpse of his fully erect cock. "Can not."

Fuck, he's big. And you will savor every damn inch of him.

Yunho settles back, propped up slightly by pillows, his fingers combing your hair idly out of your face. "Have at it, my lovely, greedy little neighbor." There was another sharp, surprised gasp from you, accompanied by a laugh, and a groan of 'you did not just call me that'. To which he responds with a soft laugh, "Okay, my little girlfriend."

Your jaw tingles and you shiver at the way his title rolled off of his tongue. "That one works a lot better," you giggle, your teeth scraping along his length, the muscles on his legs jumping.

A rush of heady lustful pride floods your system and you shiver, eager and greedy and hungry for what Yunho would have to offer you. As your mouth wraps around him, his head falls back and his mouth opens with a soft sigh. His fingers didn't stray from your hair and he helps push it back off your face to watch in rapt wonder. You felt your body flush hotter and hotter, a thrill coursing through your core as your gaze met his.

God he's fucking perfect.

Your hand cup his balls gently, rolling them tenderly and watching the way he sucks his bottom lip inwards, the softest whine in the back of his throat. You lick along the length, tasting and testing and relishing in the feeling. The hard length and gentle flesh in your hands, the warmth of his body, it was everything.

When his hips begin jerking and bucking a little, you allow your throat to relax. Yunho watch in quiet fascination and pleasure. "You'll tell me if it's too much, yeah?"

"I got this," you smile and hold his erection still while taking him completely into the recesses of your mouth. Your tongue laps along his girth, tracing the thick vein on his underside, tracing it, flicking, and pressing with each inch. Yunho's breathing hitches sharply, a low rasping groan leaving his throat as his eyes nearly roll into the back of his head.

"Enjoying yourself?" you ask, not entirely expecting an answer.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Yunho laughs, voice husky and spent and rough.

"Oh, I'm fucking living my dreams," you hum, bending over once again. "I could go all night."

Yunho laughs at your enthusiasm, and you continue lavishing him, wet and warm and insatiable in your hunger. Long fingers in your hair, the heavy weight of his length, the scent, and taste of his own sweat, your desire and want for him never burned so brightly in your veins. It didn't matter that your jaw began aching, that your thighs and core ache for his touch. You couldn't stop, you wouldn't.

A breathless "close" warns you and you take him deeper into the warm cavern of your mouth. Your body responds hotly, growing so moist with longing and heady excitement, and an eager ache. The next series of soft, sloppy noises you pull out of him only brought you closer and closer to orgasm. He tense, his length grew harder, thicker in your mouth. You held fast, welcoming the sticky cum splashing over your tongue and coating the back of your throat.

Slowly, you lift your head up and meet his gaze. Carefully, you swallow, knowing how he tasted and how your body was absolutely aching for his. With a smile you slowly crawl upwards. "So?" you ask breathlessly. "Good review?"

"Four. Fucking. Stars."

"Ooh, nice. Would you recommend?"

"Hell fucking yes I'd recommend that mouth. Sign me the fuck up, yes," he let out another breathy laugh and kiss your chest, "fuck yes. Over, and over, and over again. It's fucking gold, baby."

"Excellent," you giggle and cup his face in your palms. "Wanna recommend other things now? I got an appointment that's open and willing and totally empty if you wanna recommend."

Yunho's arms wound around your waist and flip you onto your back with another sweet kiss. "Wish granted, babe."

The months that followed, and the time spent, left nothing to chance. By the end of it all, the laundry was more than folded, there were a lot of meals cooked between both apartments, movies had been seen and many, many dates were had. You wouldn't have had it any other way.

Your hands reach around Yunho, wrapping your arms across his torso and clinging to him tightly. "So... I was thinking."

"Yeah?" He stops folding his clothes long enough to pay full attention to you. "You thinkin' a lot lately."

"Yunho,” you pout.

"Y/N," he places his shirt aside and fully turns his full attention to you. "Go ahead and tell me."

"Is moving in with you... is it something we could consider doing, together? Like... officially?"

"Officially? As in..."

You make a sweeping gesture around the two of your places. "As in the apartment."

His laughter rings in your ears and soon his body is holding yours in a tight embrace. "Ah, we should totally move in together."

"It doesn't have to be your place, but—"

Yunho silences your rambling by kissing you. When his lips part from yours, a brilliant and beautiful smile graces his features. "Baby, we can get a bigger place. Or better yet, our own house." He kisses your forehead. "With our own laundry room, and kitchen, and, yes, three kids, four dogs, and..." Yunho squeezes you tighter in his arms, "a husband. How does that sound?"

A laugh, shaky and bursting at the seams and filled with absolute joy broke the quiet hum of the laundry machines. "Are we back to joking about the marriage thing?"

"If this isn't the woman I'm gonna marry one day, then I don't know who else could top her," his hands cup your face, fingers tickling through your hair. "Let's keep folding our laundry together. One load at a time."

"Stoooop, you are just too cute, I can't," you reply.

His thumb brushes along your cheek and then across your mouth. "For real though, let's look for a bigger place and really settle down. Maybe start with a pet first."

You sigh softly in agreement and stand on tiptoes to kiss the tall man. "Definitely. Totally." Your heart thud and sings at his promise for the future. "And, not that the sex isn't super, mind blowing, incredible. But…if you actually end up being my husband, then... We. Will. So. Break. This. Thing." You lightly slap the washing machine.

"We can start breaking it now, you know," he lifts you onto the counter and nestles between your thighs, "After all, if we are moving out together, might as well christen the appliances that helped us meet and fall in love."

"Seriously?" you question.

"Very, seriously,"he answers with a laugh.

Your hands snake through his hair and you draw his lips close to yours, sighing softly against his lips before speaking. "Are we done with laundry? I feel like we should be done."

"Oh baby, we haven't even gotten started," his words tickles your mouth with every syllable and leaves the hairs of your skin standing on end. "We're in between loads for now."

"Then I propose," your thighs wrap tighter against him, "we start another load now."

"Oh really?" His hand teases up the inside of your knee, lingering close to the hem of your skirt and then climbing upwards, exposing your skin a little further with each soft touch.

"F-for real," you groan softly, your fingers clutching the fabric of his shirt.

He huffs and cups your cheek as his mouth assaults your sensitive neck. "Like last time?"

"Y-yes. Exactly. Just like last time. But this time you don't need to pull out," your thighs twitchs and press together, trapping Yunho's teasing fingers in their hold. "Give me your whole load, Jeong Yunho."

The loud, amused laughter that shakes through him was enough to send shivers up and down your spine and pool hotly between your legs. "If the lady says she's ready for my load, then the man will do his damndest to fulfill his responsibility to provide said load. Again, and again, and again." His fingers slip down the front of your panties, playing in the soft curls and gliding along your wet center. "Gonna give your hole the biggest load, baby."

"Right here on the counter?" you gasp out with a laugh.

"As much as I love fucking you on the counter," Yunho chuckles softly, removing his hands and picking you up off and from the counter and carrying you off towards his room, "it'll be more comfortable in the bedroom. No spills that way."

"How responsible," you manage as the cold air hits your thighs when he sits you on the edge of his bed.

"Just doing my civic duty," he wiggles his eyebrows.

Your chest rumbles with giggles as you lay back against the plush blankets, watching as he comes crawling after you. His lips and warm, tingling kisses return in full force to cover the expanse of bare skin revealed by his gentle tugging. When all was bare, your thighs wound around him and drew him closer to you.

Yunho chuckles and peppers soft, butterfly kisses across your abdomen, hands smoothing along your sides. "Don't worry, babe," he whispers huskily into your belly, sending a pulse of need running straight up through your body and nestling in your core, "I'll make sure that the next time, and the next time... And the time after, and the next..." His head trails lower, his lips following a slow, arduous path. "And every time after that... Our load is properly taken care of and completed."

You hum a small laugh and quip playfully, "Damn, is there a fine for unfinished loads?"

"You bet there is, and it'll come with a series of hickeys, and bruises," he answers.

"I'll take my chances then," you sigh, the tone teasing, but also bracing and ready. "Charge me up, baby."

His answering laughter was equal parts adorably sexy and oh so arousing.

Fuck, did you want this, right here and right now. To be filled and consumed and dominated by the very man who own you already, body and soul.

A soft, breathy cry escapes your lips when the full weight of him presses down. Your mouths meet, open and hungry and utterly wanting, teeth scraping gently on sensitive lips. Your back arches up when his fingers dance and toys with you, dipping between folds and sinking deeper and deeper still, and when he replaces the fingers with himself, there is a short moment where all sensation halts before a loud, gasping whine passes your lips.

His words, dirty, sweet, hot, loving, all reverberate through you, intoxicating you to the core. "Fuck..." You let out a long, ragged groan. "Fuck, Yunho."

A sweet, beautiful smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, eyes half-close and fully lost in ecstasy and passion as his pace gradually begins increasing in urgency and need and desire. "There's my sweetheart. That's my girl. Fuck... just like that..." The breathless moans spill, pushing you faster and faster toward climax. "That's my girl."

Arms wrap around his broad shoulders, your nails score down his back, his hips surging faster, burying him deeper, until all thoughts left your brain and all that remains was his touch, his body. You were alive, the world was alive, everything exists, breaths, pulsates in rhythm with him and your blood sings with the feeling. You are his and he is yours.

Forever.

He meets your lips again, swallowing the breathless whines and whimpers, before kissing your throat and along your clavicle. He pauses his thrusts momentarily, pulling out of you only to flip you onto your belly and urging your ass up into the air.

When his heat covers you once more, his fingers clawing at your hip to pull you even closer, and you bury your face into his sheets to cry out against them. "Fuck," you sob quietly, "ohhh, Yunho. Harder." You need him, everything, the unrelenting passion and unyielding love and comfort that surrounds you. "Oh my god."

He breaths another shaky breath into your neck. "Almost there." His tone is hot, sharp, ragged against the skin. "Got some of this load for ya. Not even halfway through the night. Hold on tight, baby." His voice comes as a rough command that sets your body on fire. "Gonna fuck this hole the rest of the night, just wait."

"Shit," was the only breathy, shaking sigh that you could form. "Oh my god."

Laughter bounced out of him, vibrating through you, bringing another bout of squeals. "Good fucking girl," he praises softly. "Fuck, baby. Such a good girl." He peppers soft, gentle kisses along the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent and letting out a long, deep moan. "You want every drop, sweetheart? Want every single load? Is that right?"

"Mm," your reply was short, sharp, and needy. "Every single drop, fuck."

Yunho drags your hips upwards, angling and pressing the blunt tip of him against the silken recess of your womb, urging himself forward to the hilt as his words fill your brain. "Fill you. Give you the biggest load you've ever dreamed about. Everything you want."

"Everything?"

"All the loads you need," Yunho continue, "hmm? Yes?"

"Everything, fuck,” your shoulders tremble, the sheer ecstasy that passes with his words bringing you to the edge of climax. "Please, everything."

"Good fucking girl," Yunho's grin and hoarse laugh leave you desperate, needy and wanton.

With one final push he has you seeing stars and exploding into orgasm. In the dizzying and wondrous pleasure-filled moment, he buries his face in your neck, shuddering against you, holding you impossibly closer still. His name echoes over and over, barely registering and it was all you could do but sink against the pillows, heaving for breath, unable and unwilling to move.

Eventually, he shifts off and rolls, a heavy, sweaty arm drapes over you and pulls you close. Neither of you said anything, simply staring at one another, breathing slowly and calming the pounding in each others' chests and heads. His gaze rakes slowly over your exposed form, watching the steady rise and fall of your chest, and finally resting against your eyes, so bright with contentment.

"I still got more in the tank," his thumb and forefinger pinches your chin gently between them. "So just to be safe, we shouldn't miss out on this opportunity."

You snort with laughter and hide your flushed face behind the pillows. "I hope we're moving in soon so there can be room for more clothes. Or better yet, storage space for our 'dirty loads'." You give another hoarse, rattling laugh. "Give me five minutes before you bring out another load."

"Tsk tsk tsk," Yunho playfully chides you, holding your hips gently and guiding your face towards his. He bends over to steal a kiss. "We are nowhere near finishing."

"Your tank doesn't ever run dry, does it?" you laugh softly.

"You are going to break this machine one day," came his mumbled retort but the sparkle of his smile said everything you needed to know.

"This machine better not break," you poke at his dick for emphasis before pushing him unto his back, "or there will be hell to pay, Jeong Yunho." You couldn't quite help the laugh in your throat, and the need that still flared inside.

"Remember, this is a delicate and rare machine. Handling is important,” he retorts with an eyeroll, a smile on his lips.

"How delicate and how rare?" Your laughter erupts, causing him to smile even brighter.

"Rare and delicate. And belongs to one specific and important person in my life," Yunho shrugs nonchalantly. "Sooo, handle me with extra care, babe."

"Dually noted and observed," you promise and reach to slide yourself home.

Fuck, you’re a wreck for him.

And, honestly... You were okay with that.

If his promises came with a load or two more, then all the fucking better for it.

[bluegekk0]

Finished designs for the FPK Dragon AU! Very happy with how they turned out, I'm definitely going to draw more art for this side AU in the future

Some short info and close-ups below

General AU stuff:

I don't have many story or world details yet, but in general it would be quite simplified and changed in a lot of ways

The vessels are not a thing, though The Radiance does exist and the infection would still happen in some shape or form (I haven't thought of the details yet). Holly's purpose would still be to put a stop to it, but the whole aspect of emotionless void beings is not included

Humans don't exist in this world, so the one above is simply to get an idea of their scale. The dragons in that world are sapient and live in communities, a lot of them can use magic and similar powerful abilities

More info to be added as I brainstorm it, and I might design more characters for the AU in the future

Character specific stuff:

Vyrm - a lot of his backstory is very similar to the main AU, his kind is considered extinct (the reason would most likely be different), though he never changed his form to be smaller, which means his large wyrm form does not exist here. His relationship with WL was also basically the same, as was his journey of discovering his love for Grimm. And just like in the main AU, he ended up losing his status as a leader and hibernating. Unsure whether he would also lose all his powers, since I want to keep his workshop hobby and I like the idea of him having powers that he learned specifically for that purpose (not to mention, doing any kind of precise engineering would be difficult with his dragon anatomy). So we'll have to see.

Grimm - once again a very similar backstory to his main AU counterpart. He is one of the most powerful dragons to exist, and The Radiance is still his sister in this AU. He was banished from his homeland and stripped of many of his powers, losing his status as a higher dragon as a result. I'm still brainstorming how NKG comes into the AU, as of now my idea is that it would be closer to a god-like beast form than a being in another realm, but it may still change. And I'm still thinking how to reconceptualize the ritual to fit this version. Even though he's much weaker than in his prime, he's still more powerful than an average dragon, especially in the NKG form (if that is the direction I take with him).

Lewk, Asta and Milo - basically the same as in the main AU. Lewk and Asta can fly just fine, Milo however is incapable of it (and will likely remain that way even as he gets older, with his wings being too small and weak for flight).

Hornet - in most aspect she's the same, though her half-spider origin would be changed to something else; Herrah is not a spider in this AU, though she would still be quite beastly and unique in her appearance. She has two pairs of wings, which are a trait inherited from her mother's side. She knows silk magic, which she learned as a young dragon.

Zote - he's the most unique here body plan wise, I based his design on pterosaurs. I loved the mental image of him being this annoying, bird-like dragon. In basically all aspects he's the same as his main AU counterpart, though being a dragon I imagine he would have a more impressive lifespan than an average bug in the main AU. He's a herbivore dragon, his mouth resembles a beak, and he has no powers, only a nasty attitude.

Holly - as mentioned before, they are not a vessel in this AU, nor a void being. Instead, they're a hybrid of Vyrm and WL, who is a powerful higher dragon, and were trained to stop The Radiance and put an end to the infection from the day they hatched. Though they did end up learning void magic to aid them in the fight, I think that would be a nice way to preserve at least some of that aspect and it would explain the color of their body in this version. They have a mouth, though they are still mute, likely as a result to battle damage. Like in the main AU, they lost one of their eyes and a limb, and I'm considering designing a prosthetic wing for them at some point to mirror their counterpart.

[duxbelisarius]

Back to the Dance Part Two: Environment and Logistics in the Dance

Thank you to those that have read along thus far; here's Part One of this new series if you haven't had the chance to read it yet!

Now that we've covered the political background of the Seven Kingdoms and the lead up to the Dance, we can start discussing the war itself. The next four parts will cover aspects of warfare in this setting and our own history, starting with the environment and logistics; we'll touch on aspects of the plot where it intersects with the topic at hand, discussing what we know about warfare in the pre-modern world, the conduct of warfare in George's series, and where problems arise in the Dance in trying to reconcile the latter with the former. Covering the environment of Westeros and what we know about logistics there, ie how do people, goods, and services move from place to place, allows us to assess how these factors affect warfare during the Dance (or don't affect it). This is important for establishing what is militarily possible for the Blacks and Greens to achieve, before we even get to how the actually fight.

Assessing the role of the environment is necessary given that it generally determines or influences how one fights: the deserts of southern Dorne will require different equipment and approaches to campaigning than the open expanse of the North. We know from F&B that Rhaenyra's coronation most likely took place on the 12th day of the 3rd Moon (March 12th; we'll use our calendar hereafter) 129 AC, and that autumn was well advanced by the team Jace arrived at Winterfell. We thus know that it was autumn by the latter part of March and remained so until Maiden Day the following year, after which it was winter for the next 5-6 years, meaning that the entire Dance took place during autumn and winter. We'll get into some of the issues that years long seasons create for the setting, but the fact that the war was fought for more than two years entirely in the autumn and winter creates immediate problems.

i. Historical affect of the environment on warfare

It should be noted that the seasons have symbolic as well as literal meaning in the series for George, who speaks of summer as a time of "growth and plenty and joy" while winter is "a dark time where you have to struggle for survival." There's nothing necessarily wrong with this view of the seasons, but the affect of the seasons on warfare in our own history is something which does not appear to carry over into the books. The years long seasons in particular create problems for the setting given that the cyclical nature of our seasons had an affect historically on two human activities in particular: seafaring and military campaigning.

Written around the early 5th Century AD, Vegetius' De Re Militari identified which months of the year were deemed safe for navigation; while the climate of the Mediterranean is renowned for being temperate and ideal for habitation, the weather can be exceptionally dangerous even outside the expected autumn and winter months, as seen in 2022 when unexpectedly heavy weather blew an F/A-18 Hornet off the deck of the USS Harry S. Truman in July. By our modern calendar, Vegetius deemed navigation permissible from May 27th to September 14th, with navigation becoming more dangerous due to severe weather from Sept. 14th to November 11th while Nov. 11th to March 10th was deemed too dangerous, and advising not to venture out before May 15th (DRM, 146). There is room for nuance in this picture however: per Oded Tammuz' investigation of ancient shipping accounts from the Eastern Mediterranean, the risks Vegetius attaches to winter weather (minimal daylight and long nights, dense cloud cover, fog, and violent winds) mainly applied to coastal vessels who risked shipwreck or foundering from taking on too much water, while ships on the open sea only really risked the latter fate. Michael McCormick made similar findings in Origins of the European Economy: Papal communications to France and Germany between AD 580 and 700 did not travel north in January, February or March when sea travel was used, but still took place even in October, November, and December (McCormick, Origins, 79-80). Sailing during autumn and winter was risky but it did take place, most likely on the open sea rather than along the coasts.

With regards to Planetos, the Narrow, Sunset, Summer, and Shivering seas are probably closer to the North Sea and Atlantic Ocean than the Mediterranean, with the latter three arguably being oceans in their own right. The books don't ignore the dangers of seasonal bad weather as autumn is repeatedly described as a dangerous season for ships, especially in Arya's ADWD POV "The Ugly Girl" when the Kindly Man sends her to kill the maritime insurer, while Stannis' fleet is scattered by a storm en route to Blackwater Bay in ACOK. Nonetheless, the risks posed by autumn and winter weather to naval activities should have dire implications for the plot of the Dance; we'll cover naval warfare in greater detail during Part Four, but suffice it to say that the Ironborn are screwed in this scenario. According to F&B, Dalton Greyjoy was able to seize 75% of the ships in Lannisport harbour and sink the rest before sacking the city; just so we're clear, using the distance scale on Atlas of Ice and Fire's map of Westeros gives us a distance of c.400 miles (c.644 km) as the crow flies between Pyke and Lannisport. Sailing around the Westerlands coast to avoid being spotted or wrecked by the weather would probably add half or even double that distance, and oared ships like the Ironborn longboats aren't quite seaworthy enough to handle such navigation as I discussed in the Velaryon Blockade post (more on this in Part Four!).

Shipping was seasonal and so to was warfare, for while George refers to summer as a time of 'growth and plenty,' this is exactly what one needs for waging war. In Logistics of the Roman Army at War, Jonathan Roth notes that the 'campaigning season' for armies in the classical world depended on when grain and fodder from the harvest became available to feed the armies and their animals, with armies preferring to spend the winter months of December, January, and February in 'winter quarters' near supply bases (Roth, Roman Army, 137, 177). Harvest times also varied from region to region; to quote Roth at length:

According to Greek sources, farmers sowed most of their grains in autumn, between October 20 and November 25; harvesting began in Greece in the middle of May and in southern Italy in late May. In the eastern Mediterranean, farmers planted wheat and barley in November and December, harvested barley in April and wheat in May. The Egyptian harvest took place during the months Pharmouthi and Pachon (March 27 to May 25). A fast-growing “three-month wheat” was sown in the spring, sometime in early March, and harvested in May or June; barley, millet, and panic could also be sown in the spring. Spring sowing had the advantage of furnishing a rapid early crop on fallow land, but could be used only on land rich enough to carry a crop every year. In the eastern Mediterranean, grapes were picked through the summer, from June through September although sometimes as late as October. Legumes, such as lentils, peas and vetch were harvested in April and May, chickpeas as late as June; figs gathered in August and September, and olives between September and November. (Roth, 136-137).

We thus have a Mediterranean campaign season which likely began around March or May and continued to November at the latest, meaning 7-9 months at best for largescale warfare and 3-5 months of 'winter quarters' in which this would be off limits or greatly curtailed, unless stores could be drawn upon or an army had no choice but to fight.

ii. How the environment (doesn't) affect Westerosi warfare

We know that Westeros has many different climate regions as according to George, "The Mountains of the Moon get quite a lot of snow, the Vale and the riverlands and the west rather less, but some. King's Landing gets snow infrequently, the Storm Lands and the Reach rarely, Oldtown and Dorne almost never." This should mean that limits on growing even during the winter should not be too severe outside of the North, but the problem this presents should be obvious nonetheless. Years long winters should see long periods in which warfare is drastically curtailed if not absent entirely from large parts of Westeros, owing to the need to carefully conserve existing stores and the harvest produce, save for a place like Dorne where greater rain and cooler temperatures would make warfare more viable. We also have to ask how warfare would function during years long springs, summers, and autumns; would the armies be forced to stop fighting for a time to allow grain and fodder to be planted and replenished? That certainly isn't the impression the books give us: Jaime II of AFFC mentions that 2000 men of the Lannister Army were retained to assault Dragonstone while the rest were dismissed to their homes, but this is due to the War of the Five Kings being all but over; in Catelyn V of ASOS, Robb expects to march on Moat Cailin with 12000 men once Edmure and Roslin are wed and plans to retake the North from the remaining Ironborn despite the inclement weather, sparse population, and economic disruption the North has experienced from the war. The importance of winter quarters to premodern armies is lost in the setting due to the seasons being thrown out of whack, and the logistical challenges that the armies should face are only treated haphazardly by the narrative.

The question of how harvests work in Westeros is another area where the environment's role in the story requires scrutiny, as their timing and frequency is unclear. As Roth's previous quote shows that the relationship of harvest times to the seasons is a complex one, since harvest time is determined by how long it takes for crops to germinate, grow, and ripen, while the climate and weather of a season often determines what can be grown/planted. I bring this up because the books make it clear that keeping track of the seasons is difficult: in Catelyn I of ACOK, Catelyn thinks with regard to autumn that "even the wisest man never knew whether his next harvest would be the last;" TWOIAF outright admits that the Citadel is unable to predict the length or the changing of the seasons, and the best they can do is mark the shortening or lengthening of the days to notify the realm that the change is taking place. With no one able to know the seasons are changing until it is already taking place, how can populations reliably plant and harvest crops in the first place? This should open the door for autumn rains to ruin summer crops and for winter snow and rain to destroy what was planted in autumn, depending on when the planting took place vis a vis the season changing.

The plot of the Dance doesn't help these issues by invoking the harvest as a plot device at opportune times: Jace arrives at Winterfell when Cregan Stark is already in the midst of his winter preparations, while TWOIAF claims the need to keep every man he could for harvesting prior to winter delayed Cregan's sending aid to Rhaenyra; when Aemond and Criston Cole abandon Harrenhal sometime after the 'Fish Feed,' Aemond and Vhagar attack Castle Darry in the midst of the harvest being brought in; the Hightower Army experiences desertion after First Tumbleton as men leave for 'home and harvest;' and finally, Rhaenyra's requests for aid while taking refuge at Duskendale are met with the response that Cregan Stark could not send men until they "bring in our last harvest."

Determining when these harvests took place is possible to an extent: the Battle of the Honeywine took place a fortnight after the end of the Battle of the Gullet, so January 20th 130 AC, and allowing a week for a raven to reach King's Landing means that Aemond's mustering of his forces would be complete by February 10th, while his 20 day march to Harrenhal would have brought him there the day after Criston Cole on March 2nd, meaning the 'Fish Feed' would have taken place some time after and the harvest in the Riverlands would be taking place in March or April; I suggested in Part 9 of the original series that Tumbleton likely fell on April 30th, though April 28th is probably a more accurate date, meaning the Reach harvest would be taking place some time in May or June; as for the North, if we take what TWOIAF says to be true that the riots in King's Landing began on May 22nd, then Rhaenyra would have fled two days later (I mistakenly suggested 5 days before) and probably arrived at Duskendale on June 1st, while her ravens would likely have reached Winterfell after a fortnight which means the northern harvest was ongoing in mid-June. So the Riverlands was harvesting in March and/or April, the Reach in May and/or June, while the North was harvesting in June and may have done so or continued to do so the previous or following months (May-July).

Based on the quotes from George and Jonathan Roth, this sequencing makes no sense: per Roth, the Egyptian harvest ran from late March to late May whereas Italy and Greece to the north and west began their harvests in mid-to-late May. Yet despite the Reach rarely receiving snow and having by far the warmest climate in Westeros outside Dorne, the harvest in the Reach is a month behind the more northerly Riverlands which have suffered considerable damage from the war already? The North is even worse however, as we were told that the snow was already deep around Winterfell when Jace arrived there in March 129 AC, but somehow the North is harvesting at the same time as the Reach or just a month later despite winter having officially arrived weeks before on Maiden Day? In essence the plot invokes harvest time not because it is important to the setting, which would lead to serious questions about how people are to be fed with a war going on, but because it ensures foreordained outcomes by keeping the North 'on pause' and weakening the Hightower Army at the right time.

Instead of the environment constantly affecting the plot even on a small scale, the narrative uses it for deus-ex-machina purposes which causes serious dissonance given the effect the environment has on ASOIAF. Asha and Theon's POVs in ADWD give us a front-row seat for how miserable it is to be fighting a war in the North during late autumn, let alone winter, via the actions of Roose Bolton and Stannis Baratheon's armies. In Arya IX of ASOS, Arya and the Hound find Lord Harroway's Town all but submerged by the flooding Trident, and Catelyn's later POV chapters highlight the struggles of Robb's forces to make progress with so many fords and bridges washed out by the rain. But aside from adding 3-4 days to Aemond and Cole's march on Harrenhal, the rain which we should expect to be affecting the Seven Kingdoms in a year long autumn and at the beginning of a 5-6 year winter has next to no affect whatsoever.

iii. The Big 'L'

Having discussed the issues with the environment in the plot of the Dance, we can now assess the role of logistics; we will identify the logistical means available to the setting and the extent to which logistics actually influences the armies, or if logistics like the environment is not integrated into the narrative. For those who haven't read the Dorne analysis, my analysis of logistics in the pre-modern era is indebted to Hugh G. W. Davie, in particular his article discussing the economics and logistics of horse-drawn armies (I'll once again recommend checking out his blog if you have an interest in military logistics and the Eastern Front of WWII in particular). He provides a useful model for understanding the logistics of pre-modern armies, viewing them as 'micro-economies' that had to meet their demand with transport and supply inputs to output mobility.

Demand encompasses all the maintenance requirements of an army's personnel and animals, such as rations for humans, fodder for animals, water for both, alcohol for daily human consumption and to substitute water if safe sources are unavailable, fuel such as firewood for warmth, food preparation and operating forges, among numerous other items. We haven't even discussed the amounts of these items that might be required, but it should already be clear that the appetite of a pre-modern army could be voracious, although there were methods on the demand side that could be used to mitigate this. Temporarily reducing ration and fodder consumption or substituting with local forage and grazing the animals could preserve an army's stores and extend its range, forced marches could be used to cover great distance in a short amount of time with reduced consumption, unnecessary baggage, wagons, and carts might be abandoned to cut down on the number of camp followers who would otherwise add to the army's demand, and an army might be divided into separate hosts to disperse it's consumption of a region's supplies so as to avoid exhausting them (the maxim of 'march divided, fight united').

None of those methods save for the last two could be more than short term solutions, and mobility ultimately depended on meeting existing demand with supplies and transport. Supply sources will vary depending on the surrounding environment and enemy intervention, but Davie identifies three primary means with which an army can obtain supplies: Forage, gathered locally by one's troops; requisitions from the local population; and stores drawn from one's own magazines and conveyed to the army via transport. Forage is heavily dependent upon local population density, which is a rabbit hole I have no intention of going down in the context of ASOIAF; suffice it to say that gathering forage locally in this setting might be possible for a small and/or dispersed host, but larger armies would need to rely on requisitions and magazines for their needs. Requisition involves receiving stores directly from the local authorities, population, and markets, potentially by force but most often through purchase, while magazines involve stockpiling stores from one's own supplies along the army's lines of communication and transporting them where needed. A quote from Part Two of the Dornish Analysis should put in perspective the quantities of supplies needed:

Some idea of what these sources would have to yield for the Dornish can be gleaned from Jonathan Roth's excellent book The Logistics of the Roman Army at War (264 BC-AD 235), which analyzes the supply of the Roman Army from the early Republic until the Crisis of the Third Century. The Roman soldier's daily ration consisted of 1 to 1.3 kilograms (2-3 lbs) of grain and non-grain rations, and a minimum fluid requirement of 4 liters, half of which would be consumed via breathing and eating and the other half by drinking water, with another 4 liters or more required for daily operations in the form of water and alcohol (combat demands would certainly exceed 8 liters per day). Horses called for a 9.5 kg daily ration of hard and dry/green fodder, or 14 kg of pasturage, with 30 liters of water; pack animals like donkeys and mules required 7.5 kg, 11 kg and 20 liters respectively while oxen required 18 kg, 22 kg and 30 liters. To put those numbers into perspective, 1000 Dornish soldiers would need 1 tonne of food and 8 or more tonnes of water per day, with more needing to be stockpiled to support marches and combat. 100 Dornish knights with perhaps 2 horses each would need to furnish their mounts collectively with 2 tonnes of fodder and 6 tonnes of water daily.

This brings us to the third 'point' of the triangle, transport, without which an army's demand cannot be met and it's supplies are inaccessible. Despite being a fantasy setting, Westeros is in the same boat as our own world prior to the steam and internal combustion engines: moving people, goods, and services from one place to another requires some combination of water, wind, and muscle power. The former two involve seaborne and riverine transport, although oars were also utilized by watercraft in these situations as were poles and towing by draft animals for inland waterways. Land transport was entirely dependent on muscle power, with soldiers and/or porters carrying what they could manage or else depending on wagons, carts, and pack animals.

iv. Getting from 'Point A' to 'Point B' by boat

We'll discuss shipping in greater detail when covering naval warfare in Part Four, but suffice it to say that both factions have ample capacity for sealift within the setting. Oared and pure sailing vessels are utilized regularly in the books for moving goods and people throughout Westeros, while the ample coastlines of the Narrow and Sunset Seas possess numerous ports capable of serving both factions needs, weather permitting. An excellent example of what sealift could achieve comes from the Cretan Expedition of AD 911, launched by the Byzantine Empire against Muslim pirates stationed on that island; to meet this threat and that of other Arab pirates in the Levant, 15600 ground troops with equipment, supplies, and animals were provided transport by a fleet of 112 Dromons and 75 Pamphyloi (Dromons used for cargo transport) (Pryor and Jeffries, Age of the Dromon, 548-550). Westeros has access to larger ships than these for transport, so the main limits to what could be moved would be the availability of ships and port capacity. That being said, sealift would likely play more of a strategic role in war, moving troops and materiel around the periphery, with inland water and land transport being necessary to connect these to the interior.

I addressed inland water transport throughout the original analysis, but it warrants detailed discussion here for it's potential to connect armies in the field with supply centers that would be too distant to draw supplies from overland. Making effective use of riverine supply lines depends upon the navigability of the rivers themselves, ie the depth of the river, prevalence of debris and man-made obstacles such as mills, dams, and bridges, the strength of the current, etc. Fortunately for the setting, the regions where the bulk of the fighting takes place are home to three highly navigable rivers: the Trident, the Mander, and the Blackwater. Jaime I of ASOS states outright that the forks of the Trident are the easiest way to move goods and people throughout the Riverlands and TWOIAF confirms this, saying they "stimulate trade and travel during peace time, and serve as both roads and barriers in time of war."

The Mander's navigability is similarly high: although Victarion's AFFC POV "The Reaver" calls the Mander "wide and slow and treacherous with snags and sandbars," this mainly limits sea-going vessels to sailing no further than Highgarden, whereas Ironborn longboats can navigate as far as Bitterbridge and utilized all the vassal streams for raiding the Reach long ago. TWOIAF confirms this image, offering anecdotes of the Ironborn raiding up the Mander and of John Gardener "the Tall" who sailed his barge to the headwaters of the Mander and won the fealty of the local lords and petty kings of the region. The Blackfish's account of the Battle of the Blackwater in Catelyn II of ASOS provides further evidence of the Mander's navigability, as Tywin, Mathis Rowan, and Randyll Tarly travel to the battle from Tumbler's Falls on the Blackwater thanks to barges provided by Mace Tyrell. We know that Petyr Baelish negotiated the Tyrell-Baratheon alliance with Mace at Highgarden, so those barges would had to have come up the Mander with most if not all the troops that may have joined Mace, before they travelled overland to the Blackwater.

Our information on the Blackwater is much more scattered but indicates that it is also highly navigable; it certainly had to be for Tywin and Mace's forces to travel down river on those barges! The Blackwater is consistently described as deep and swift in the books with it's current being strongest where the river empties into Blackwater Bay; despite this, Imry Florent's ships were able to move upriver against the current when Stannis attacked King's Landing, and Cersei VI of AFFC notes that Margaery Tyrell is fond of sailing up and down the Blackwater Rush. We even hear from Sallador Saan in Davos II of ASOS that the galleys Ragged Jenna and Laughing Lord are said to be playing pirate on the Blackwater after having been far enough upriver to avoid the wildfire during Stannis' attack, suggesting even seafaring warships could venture far upriver to some extent. The river's high navigability is further indicated by the fact that ferries are the only means of crossing to King's Landing from the south based on Sansa IV of ACOK and Sansa II of ASOS, while Borros Baratheon's men fell trees to make rafts when they arrive at the Rush following the Moon of the Three Kings. The absence of a bridge over the lower Blackwater suggests that large vessels are expected to travel some ways up the lower river at least, as it's unlikely a bridge would be an obstacle if river traffic consisted only of smaller vessels capable of lowering their masts or those lacking one.

Regarding the capabilities of riverine transport, Jonathan Roth notes that the Romans possessed riverboats with a capacity of 34 tonnes, though most were smaller capacity craft of c. 9 tonnes. Even a 9 tonne boat could carry as much as 18 wagons or 72 pack animals, and with greater speed than land transport (Roth, 197). River transport also has the advantage of requiring less effort than land transport to move heavy loads, with a barge towed by a horse able to move 250 times the load the horse could carry on land. When the Roman Emperor Julian invaded the Sassanid Persian Empire in AD 363, he used a fleet of 1100 river vessels to carry siege engines, bridging equipment, and 6 months supplies for the bulk of his 65000 strong invasion force on its march from Callinicum (Raqqa) to Ctesiphon (Al-Mada'in), about 600 km (c.373 miles) as the crow flies. The main challenge facing this method is the rivers themselves, as the water level can rise or fall depending on the weather and render navigation difficult if not impossible.

v. Getting from 'Point A' to 'Point B' by 'hoofing it'

This brings to land transport, the evidence for which in the books and which is in keeping with our knowledge of premodern methods. These include pack animals such as horses, donkeys, and mules, and wheeled transport in the form of two-wheeled carts and four-wheeled wagons (for goods) and carriages (for passengers), pulled most often by oxen and horses though donkeys and mules could also be used. The question of how important land transport was economically and it's efficiency compared to waterborne transport is complicated. The books tend to overestimate it: Catelyn II and III of ACOK provide us observations of Renly's host which imply the entire force of perhaps 100000 is moving by land, including "mangonels and trebuchets and rolling rams moved on wheels taller than a man on horseback." Upon learning of Stannis besieging Storm's End, Renly leaves behind "his wagons, carts, draft animals, and all his cumbersome siege machinery" with his foot soldiers and races to Storm's End. Catelyn notes that "he had outdistanced his supply lines, left food and forage days behind with all his wagons and mules and oxen. He must come to battle soon, or starve."

In reality, siege engines would be built on site of the siege as they were far too large to haul on the march, while such a large host should be relying on the Mander as a supply artery and drawing stores from friendly towns and holdfasts rather than foraging directly from the local region. That being said, if Renly's movements paint too rosy a picture of land transport in a premodern setting, it is also true that it is often discounted as too expensive and slow for anything beyond shortrange hauling. Reality was more complicated however, as Jonathan Roth notes that we have evidence of long distance land transport in Roman sources, such as pack trains carrying British tin through Gaul to the Mediterranean, a 640 km (c. 400 mile) journey which too over a month (Roth, 198). A common misconception was that Roman horse collars were inefficient and even harmful and that this limited the potential of land transport prior to the High Middle Ages; as Gail Brownigg notes in her article "The Origin of the Horse Collar," this misconception was based on faulty fitting of Roman collars to horses in modern experiments, and the fact that these were intended for pulling chariots and other light vehicles at speed while oxen were used for heavy hauling well into the Medieval era.

The limitations pre-modern and especially Medieval land transport faced were not technological but distance and infrastructure-based, as traveling great distances required providing rest and sustenance for the animals and their drivers, and depended on routes being able to support traffic since wheeled vehicles could be damaged if the state of the roads was poor. Cost was certainly a factor but it was far from insurmountable, as James Masschaele demonstrated using royal purveyance accounts in 1993; these record goods moved on behalf of the English crown for military purposes in the 13th and 14th century, and suggest that the ratio of land to river to sea transport in terms of cost was 8:4:1. Clearly there was an incentive to use waterborne over land transport, but on average the selling price of grain increased by only 4% for each mile it travelled, doubling for every 250 miles carried by land (Masschaele, "Transport Costs," 273-274). Although England is far smaller than most of the Seven Kingdoms, Masschaele notes that a ten mile trip would give most producers access to several markets, while the price of grain would be halved if the cargo could reach a river port and travel that way (Masschaele, 274). This last point is important for enabling land transport to meet army demand, since I pointed out in Part Three of the Dornish Analysis that land transport alone can only get one so far:

In Firearms: A Global History to 1700, Kenneth Chase gives some numbers for the transport requirements of a pre-modern army: An army of soldiers carrying 80 pounds of equipment and rations with no additional transport might march 12 miles a day for 10 days before running out; adding pack horses, carrying 250 pounds and consuming 10 pounds of fodder per day, might allow that army to make the round trip if supplies of grass, water and forage could be ensured. Supply wagons with a driver and two horses consuming 23 pounds per day and carrying 1400 pounds of supplies could each support 30 infantrymen enough for an army to march 200 miles, assuming 1 day of rest in 6 for the horses and favourable terrain. To double this range and allow the army to make a round trip of 400 miles, would require the number of wagons to increase from 1 per 30 men to 1 per 5 men, while removing abundant water and grass from the equation would cut the distance fivefold (400 miles to 80) (Firearms, pg. 17-18).

If the armies in this setting can establish magazines and hold markets at towns and holdfasts along their marching routes, and make use of the rivers to the greatest possible extent, their range of movement and thus mobility will be greatly extended. Larger teams of horses and oxen can be used to move heavier loads over shorter distances to these depots or river ports, allowing large stocks to be accumulated and moved via relays at the former or simply shipped greater distances via the latter. Moving armies and their supplies great distances would present issues, but these are manageable provided that land based supply chains and waterborne transport are combined effectively.

vi. A Tale of Two Armies

The question for the Dance is whether any of this actually matters in the plot, or if logistics is ignored like the environment in pursuit of predetermined outcomes. Fortunately the Blacks and the Greens each offer us an example of major operations being conducted, where at least 2 of the three transport methods we discussed could be used: the Riverlord armies and the Hightower army. The Riverlords conduct four major campaigns during the Dance: the first is led by Daemon against the Greens supporters in the Riverlands in 129 AC; the second begins after Daemon leaves for King's Landing in 130 AC, and sees them defeat the Lannister host and Ser Criston Cole before their army is annihilated at Tumbleton; the third is Second Tumbleton, which sees a newly raised host defeat the Hightower Army under Addam Velaryon; and the fourth and final campaign is in 131 AC when the Lads defeat Borros Baratheon at the Kingsroad.

In none of these campaigns do we get a sense that logistics affects the Blacks in any meaningful way, starting with how Daemon raises his army. Harrenhal is captured soon after Rhaenyra's coronation or c. March 13th, 129 AC, with Daemon securing the ruined castle and its wealth. We know that the initial supporters of Rhaenyra included the Freys, Mootons, Pipers, Darrys, Mallisters, the Rootes of Harroway, and the Vances of Wayfarer's Rest, with thousands of supporters supposedly flocking to Harrenhal in the days that followed. The only houses that we know supported Aegon II are the Brackens and the Vances of Atranta; when Stone Hedge surrenders, we're told that Aegon's supporters laid down their arms, suggesting there were other houses besides these two that supported him though none are ever mentioned. This is significant as Daemon's plan relies on amassing an army and presumably the supplies to maintain it at Harrenhal, a dilapidated half-ruin in the east of the Riverlands. The Trident, the God's Eye, and the roads would certainly facilitate these movements, but all the same I think HOTD actually got something right with the subplot of repairing Harrenhal, as the large quantities of men, animals and supplies would need to be kept safe from the elements (if the environment mattered that is).

Despite this, we have no indication of any Green houses interfering with this build up, either in the 'war of ravens' that followed Aegon and Rhaenyra's coronations or in the Stone Hedge campaign that began sometime after the murder of Prince Jaehaerys. We know from Jaehaerys' royal progress in 52 AC that Atranta is somewhere between Pinkmaiden and Stoney Sept, since the King travelled Harrenhal-Riverrun-Acorn Hall-Pinkmaiden-Atranta-Stoney Sept; despite this, neither the Pipers nor the Vances of Wayfarer's Rest are prevented from answering the call and the Pipers are even counted among Daemon's forces at Stone Hedge. Daemon manages to march his host, largely comprised of houses from the eastern Riverlands, from Harrenhal to Stone Hedge or c. 200 miles based on Atlas' map; this distance is entirely achievable for Daemon's host of unknown size, but it also relies on Daemon facing no interference on his march and arriving at Stone Hedge when the Brackens are absent.

When Daemon departs Harrenhal for King's Landing, the Riverlords abandon also the castle that was their primary base and depot for more than a year but there is no indication of any supplies be left behind sabotaged or otherwise that Aemond and Cole find, while rain only impedes the Green advance on Harrenhal and has no such affect on the larger Riverlord host. At almost 10000 strong including the Winterwolves, the Riverlord host has no apparent difficulties finding supplies nor is this an issue when the c.7000 strong army occupies Tumbleton in the lead up to the first battle. Even when this host is destroyed, Addam Velaryon raises another one in short order; this new 4000 strong host is raised from House Frey, Blackwood, Vypren, Piper, Smallwood, Deddings, Vance, and Darry, and allegedly includes forces of House Tully as well. Addam also manages this despite our knowing that all these houses save Tully, Vypren, and Deddings have suffered heavy losses in the past months, with the Darrys having seen their castle and lands burned by Vhagar. Distance seems not to be an issue either, even though Harrenhal alone is c.500 miles (c.805 km) from Tumbleton as the crow flies, and we know that Addam's forces attacked from the north and west. Unless they could move men and supplies down the Blackwater or draw upon local stores as they marched, even if they force marched for a time Addam's army would have collapsed before it ever reached Tumbleton. The same issues present themselves with the Lads march on King's Landing in 131 AC, where c.6000 men are raised at Riverrun by the Tullys, Freys, Blackwoods, Vances, Darrys, Mallisters, and Brackens. Between the Trident and the Riverroad the Lads should have had no issue reaching the Kingsroad at Harroway Town, but from there to King's Landing is a 375 mile (c.600 km) march; since they would be marching through hostile territory and could not count on requisitioning stores from towns and holdfasts along the way, the Lads would need to stick close to the God's Eye and the Blackwater in order to be supplied by watercraft, otherwise they're on a one-way trip.

It's often remarked upon especially by fans of the Greens that the Riverlords have infinite manpower, but as a Green fan myself I think this impression results from their logistics being ignored. Aegon's host at the Field of Fire was 11000 strong and drawn mainly from the Riverlands, while Edmure Tully's forces at the Battle of the Fords was some 12000 strong; I estimated in Part Four of the original analysis that the Riverlord host at the Fish Feed was c.7000 strong excluding the Winterwolves while the Lads army was c.6000 strong. Over 13000 men is in line with what we've seen elsewhere in the books, the problem is that the weather never affects their movements, the need for harvest labour never impedes their raising armies, and their armies never struggle with supplies and seem capable of appearing out of nowhere.

By contrast, the Hightower army runs into logistical problems even when it ought not to and largely at the convenience of the plot. Following Rook's Rest, Ormund Hightower sets out with a host of 1000 knights, 1000 archers, and 3000 men-at-arms, along with thousands of sellswords, freeriders, and camp followers, to subdue Rhaenyra's supporters in the Reach. I tried my hand in the previous analysis to estimate the size of this army but I think it's better to stick with the numbers we're given; even if the total host was 10000 strong with over half combatants, this would still require substantial land and riverine transport based on the Roseroad and Honeywine to support the initial march. Of the five houses that are bannermen to the Hightowers per the AFFC appendix, Costayne, Beesbury, and Mullendore all support Rhaenyra while Bulwer and Cuy never appear in the Dance, ensuring that maintaining secure supply lines would be difficult. Although we're told that the Caswells and Rowans raised a host similar to Ormund's in size, as with the Riverlords the Blacks in the Reach have no issues with Green supporters impeding their advance or threatening their supplies, since the Hightowers and Redwynes are the only houses we know of that support Aegon from the outset.

Ormund does have to contend with his supply lines being attacked, as the Costaynes fall upon his baggage train while the Beesburys and Tarlys burn fields and harass his forces. They manage this despite Three Towers being just under 150 miles (c.240 km) south of Oldtown, Honeyholt being just under 100 miles (c.160 km) to the north, and Horn Hill being 100 leagues/300 miles (c.483 km) to the northeast. No assistance or warning against these attacks is given from any of the other surrounding houses or the Hightower's own demenses, nor do Ormund's assailants have to worry about their own supplies. Under these circumstances, it's unclear why the Caswells and Rowans even needed to attack Ormund when the Tarlys, Beesburys, Costaynes, and Mullendores should have been able to keep Ormund bottled up in the Honeywine valley, leaving the Blacks in the Reach proper to attack the Greens elsewhere (more on this when we get to strategy in the Dance). Even if Ormund broke out of the valley, the Oakhearts and the Shield Islands are also supporters of Rhaenyra and are well placed to cut off the mouth of the Mander from the Sunset Sea, and Ormund cannot sustain an advance to King's Landing without the Hightower and Redwyne fleets moving supplies from the south up the Mander.

Following the defeat of the Black armies at the Honeywine on January 20th, 130 AC, the Hightower army sets it's sights on King's Landing. By the time of the 'Fish Feed' in March, Goldengrove, Old Oak, and the Shield Islands have submitted and the army lays siege to Longtable, eventually sacking Bitterbridge and taking Tumbleton by c. April 28th. The distance from Tumbleton to Brightwater Keep at the source of the Honeywine is just under 800 miles (c.1290 km), meaning the Hightower army covered that distance in almost 100 days between the Battle of the Honeywine and the First Battle of Tumbleton. That's a marching rate of c.8 miles per day, but when we consider the delays likely caused by the siege of Longtable, the sack of Bitterbridge, and the submission of the Oakhearts, Rowans, and Shield Islands, it's likely the marching rate was closer to the ideal 10-12 miles per day. This is significant, as according to Maester Munkun by the time the Hightower army crossed the Mander at Bitterbridge it numbered more than 20000 strong, with a tenth of them mounted knights.

If we take 20000 as our figure, this means the soldiers alone would have required 20 tonnes of rations and 160 tonnes of water each day; as for animals, if we assume each knight had two horses then we have 4000 warhorses in total, while giving the army one 2-horse wagon per five men would mean a total of 12000 horses. Excluding non-combatants, the Hightower army's total demand would be 20 tonnes of rations, 114 tonnes of fodder, and 520 tonnes of water per day. The amount of wagons and draft horses could be greatly reduced, as we suggested already, if the army utilized riverine transport and a magazine system for their supply chain. Establishing small garrisons at towns and holdfasts like Cider Hall, Longtable, and Bitterbridge to oversee the accumulation of stocks and allowing riverine and land transport to move stores up in relays should allow the army to maintain the over 8 mile per day pace we've calculated, by keeping the army's baggage to a minimum and allowing soldiers and pack animals to carry what supplies are needed on hand.

Unfortunately, the evidence F&B provides us suggests this is not at all how the Hightower army operates: when Longtable surrenders to Ormund, we're told he stripped the castle of it's wealth and every scrap of food, feeding his thousands on Lady Merryweather's grain; after the First Battle of Tumbleton, the man charged with the army's "baggage train", Ser Hobert Hightower, wishes to "fall back to the Reach to replenish their fast-dwindling supplies." Both anecdotes imply that the Hightower army supplies itself from forage on the move and carries with it what supplies it can, a remarkably ad hoc supply system that could not support a host of this size. Not only would it be impossible to meet the army's demand through foraging and carrying supplies via baggage train, we've already shown that this is unnecessary provided the army utilized riverine transport and established magazines as it advanced. With 5 men per wagon, the Hightower army could cover 400 miles before it ran out of supplies and was unable to turn back; adding the forces of local lords to his army as F&B claims Ormund did would only increase the logistical burden and offset any supplies obtained by plunder or forage. If the Hightower army functions as the narrative suggests, then it doesn't matter that Addam could not reach Tumbleton with his army, as Ormund's forces would never have made it past Bitterbridge.

Analyzing the Riverlords and the Hightower army shows that neither the environment nor logistics have more than a momentary effect on the plot of the Dance, influencing events here and there when it's convenient for the plot but otherwise being completely ignored. This negatively affects the story by removing stakes from the plot and making suspension of disbelief impossible. The worst part is that none of this was necessary, as there are fairly simple 'fix-its' that could be employed; for starters, have summer continue in 129 AC and autumn begin in 130 AC, with winter arriving in 131 AC. The fairer weather in summer and the earlier part of autumn would allow the armies of both sides to operate more freely, while allowing for more growing and harvesting of crops with which to feed said armies. As for logistics, having the armies operate more dispersed and/or stressing the importance of shipping, food storage, and magazines would show the armies are taking logistics seriously and place the writing on a better footing in that regard. I'll discuss this more and in greater detail when we cover strategy in the Dance, but these simple fix-its would go a long way to making the Dance better mechanically.

That wraps things up for Part Two; thank you for bearing with me through this fairly dry subject matter! Now that the 'board' is set up in terms of the Dance's political origins and the environment in which it was fought, we can start setting up the 'pieces' so-to-speak and look at how the Dance was fought on land, in the air, and at sea. Stay tuned for "Land Warfare in the Dance!"

[one-boring-person]

could i request ollie plimsolls x fem!reader who’s a legz akimbo member?

(and maybe with ‘Are you really so oblivious?’ prompt because i loveee when they both think its unrequited, and with a classic bit of miscommunication haha! but feel free to write whatever if you’re not feeling that prompt, i will take any ollie content i can get!)

Thank you so much for requesting! 😁☺️ I hope you enjoy this and that it's what you had in mind!☺️💛

You What?

Ollie Plimsolls (TLOG) x f! Reader

Warning: swearing

Masterlist

Like this? Feel free to send me a request!😁

Taglist: @pleione-sketch ☺️

It's hard not to roll my eyes as I hear that familiar sound of disapproval coming from across the room. I try to hide it, glancing at Phil as we look over at our grumpy spectator. 

‘What now, Ollie?’ Phil sighs, standing with his hands on his hips. 

The blonde clicks the end of his pen against his forehead, giving us a pointed look, clearly expecting us to have read his mind. 

‘Just didn't realise you wanted me to fall asleep. You're boring me to death over here!’ Ollie groans, ‘I'm trying my hardest not to despise you right now.’

Dave scoffs at my side, ‘You wrote the stuff.’

‘And you're butchering it! It's like watching my child being hung, drawn and bloody quartered! Put some effort in! You're less believable than the government at the moment!’

‘What would you have us do?’ I ask him, trying to keep my voice steady. 

Ollie looks me in the eye briefly, glancing away just as quickly, ‘Act better, maybe? Didn't realise you'd need telling.’

‘Right.’ I nod as if it were obvious. 

‘From the top, please. With some actual effort this time, if that's not too much to ask.’ He looks back down at his script, hastily scrawling something onto it. 

‘Christ, what crawled up his arse and died?’ Dave whispers to me as we go back to our starting marks, shaking his head.

I stifle a laugh, snorting loudly. 

‘Hornets nest maybe.’ Phil hisses back, shooting us a quick smirk as we dissolve into sniggers. 

‘What was that? Feel like sharing with the class?’ Ollie's voice interrupts us and I realise he's turned his gaze to us. Something seems to twist in his stare, his jaw tense. I try not to watch the way the muscles in his neck twitch under the strain, heat rising to my cheeks under the intense look. 

‘Nothing,’ I reply, quietly going to my place.

‘Maybe if you could use those acting skills…’ I hear him grumble to himself, sounding somewhat bitter, ‘Right, go!’

Doing our best not to piss the blonde off more than we already have, Phil, Dave and I run through our lines, running through the awkward ‘choreo’ Ollie has written for us to follow. It's not the worst thing he's come up with, and it'll probably get some reaction out of the school we'll be performing this for but it's no Shakespeare. This time, it's a play about a girl sleeping around with the boys at school, ultimately getting herself pregnant. As the only female member of Legz Akimbo, that means acting out some interesting scenes with the boys - I've even got one with Ollie, though he's been hesitant to actually rehearse it, much to my dismay. 

Still, I feel a bit of a fool as we come to our final positions in the scene: Phil stood behind my bent form, Dave on his back beneath me with his legs bent, a hand in front of him clearly miming a less than appropriate action. I'm supposed to look like I'm coming to a realisation in the moment, but all I can manage is a hesitant smile as I lock eyes with Ollie across the room. His lips are pursed, brow furrowed. He doesn't look happy. 

We hold the pose for a moment, before breaking apart, standing up straight to look at our director. 

‘Well?’ Dave breaks the silence, brow cocked. 

‘Well, what? You want a medal for that shoddy performance?’ Ollie snaps back, tone clipped - something is definitely on his mind. 

‘That wasn't shoddy! We did alright!’ Phil interjects, indignant. 

‘And? I don't want “alright”, I want perfect.’ He slams his pen down, ‘Is that too much to ask for?’

To my right, I can feel Dave getting tense, clearly loading up a line of insults and protestations. 

‘Let's take a break,’ I interrupt before anything can actually happen, not in the mood to pick up the pieces after another row, ‘Come at it fresh in thirty minutes.’

A tense silence follows for a long moment before Phil finally mutters a ‘be back in thirty’ and leaves, Dave following after, shooting glares at Ollie as they go. Ollie just stares daggers at them, fist clenched around his pen. As they walk out, he rounds on me.

‘Not gonna follow your boyfriends?’

‘What?’ I blink, incredulous.

‘You heard me.’ He pulls a face, miming throwing up, ‘You're all over them. No wonder you're acting so badly today.’

‘Ex-fucking-scuse me?’ I can feel my voice rising, more incredulous than angry or upset.

He refuses to look at me, glowering with a face like thunder (I do my best to ignore the pit in my chest at having disappointed him), ‘Do you think I'm stupid? I see the way you are with them - all giggly, trying to impress them. It's gross, so stop it.’ Ollie bites out, snatching up his script and storming out, leaving me standing there in utter disbelief. 

*

The rest of the afternoon goes as badly as one might expect. Ollie is in a foul mood, berating us at every tiny flaw, winding the three of us up until we can't take it anymore. Phil snaps first, grabbing his coat and wordlessly walking out after enduring two hours of verbal abuse. Dave and I last a little longer, until it comes to a certain scene we've all been dreading: the scene where I have to kiss him.

Already, I can tell that Ollie is itching to move this along, scowling at the two of us as we run through the parts leading up to the moment.  I keep my eyes averted from him, his words from earlier still running through my head. Surely he doesn't actually think I like either Phil or Dave? Maybe I've spent too much time being careful about revealing my true feelings to him that I've given him the wrong impression.

We get to the kiss, Dave and I awkwardly leaning in to press a quick peck on each other's lips. Almost immediately, Ollie lets out an exaggerated sigh. 

‘Was that it? I've seen more chemistry between pigeons,’ He bursts out, irate.

‘Well, what do you expect?! I'm hardly going to make out with her on stage!’ Dave retorts, giving me an apologetic look.

‘So you turned to the 1920s for inspiration instead? What the fuck was that?’

‘All it says in the script is a kiss! Nothing more, nothing less!’ I can feel Dave starting to lose his patience, already worn thin from the course of the day. 

‘Yes, but you're supposed to be acting out the recklessness of a teenage romance that ends badly and all I'm getting at the moment is a virgin who's never even kissed his hand!’ Ollie spits, standing from his seat to gesture at us animatedly. His hair falls into his face for a second, his hand coming up to push it away again. He looks boyish at that moment, breathing heavily, hair dishevelled, glasses pulled down his nose a little.  

‘I can't take this anymore today…you fucking do it then! Seeing as nobody else can get it right!’ Dave growls, stepping back as if inviting the other man on stage.

It takes my brain a moment to catch up, my eyes going wide as I look between them. My heart starts pounding in my chest, my cheeks heating up. Surely he's not actually going to do it?

Ollie stands there for a moment, grinding his teeth, face as red as mine must be. After a second, he composes himself and marches up to the stage, standing close to me. Barely looking at me, he grabs the back of my neck and yanks me into a hard kiss. 

Squeaking, I freeze, relaxing slightly as a surge of warmth goes through me. His lips are soft, but not at all gentle and I realise he's taking his script very literally, trying to make it look as messy as a teenage kiss tends to be. My eyes stay wide open, every muscle in my body stiff - as much as I've wanted this, this isn't how I want it to happen.

He pulls away, eyes locking with mine for a short second before he turns and looks at Dave.

‘See? Not so hard, is it?’ Ollie cocks his head sarcastically.

‘Jesus christ, you do my head in,’ Dave curses to himself, putting his head in his hand, stepping away from us.

‘What, because I'm better than you?!’ The blonde frowns, hands on his hips.

‘No! Because I've just given you the best bloody set-up in history, and neither of you have fucking used it!’ Dave explodes, incredulous.

I blink.

‘You what?’ Ollie and I parrot, side-eyeing each other as we do.

‘For fuck's sake, are you that oblivious?’ Our friend just stares at us, mouth gaping open.

‘What do you mean?’ I ask.

Dave takes a deep breath, trying to compose himself.

‘Look, Phil and I are fed up with you two dancing around each other all the time. We thought by fucking this scene up, Ollie would want to show us how to do it better, you two would end up kissing and finally fucking tell each other the truth.’

‘...what?’ Is all I can say, trying desperately to figure out if I've heard him correctly.

Ollie just stands there, his face a deep shade of red - whether from anger or embarrassment, I can't tell. His fists clench at his side. 

‘I don't know how much clearer I can make this, so I'm gonna let you two figure it out your bloody selves.’ Dave pulls a face, going from the stage before either of us can stop him.

He goes to the door, leaving through it but not before making a crude hand gesture at me as he closes it. The sound of the lock in the door turning rings loudly around the empty room. 

Awkwardly, I turn to look at Ollie. 

He's crossed his arms, doing his best not to look in my direction, tapping his fingers against his arm. He looks nervous, lips pursed in a tight line. 

We stand in silence for a long moment, my pulse quickening with every passing second. Eventually, I decide to bite the bullet and swallow down my pride, turning to face the young man.

‘Wonder what he was on about,’ I pipe up, hooking my thumb in the direction Dave left, forcing out a laugh.

Ollie makes a noncommittal sound, twisting his head so he can scowl at the door, ‘Who knows.’

‘How long do you think they'll leave us here for?’ I try again, moving to sit on the edge of the stage. Quietly, he joins me.

‘Not long, I hope. God, I didn't think they'd go this far.’ Ollie grumbles, putting his head in his hands.

I frown and look at him, ‘What do you mean?’

He doesn't respond, turning his head away.

‘Ollie, what do you mean?’ I lean towards him, angling my face so I'm looking at him properly. 

After a moment, he takes a breath, closing his eyes before looking down at his lap.

‘Dave and Phil have been trying to get us together. For months. They think you like me, and that I like you.’ He tells me, pinching his thumb. 

I sit for a moment, thinking to myself. 

‘...and do you?’ I eventually ask, keeping my voice quiet, neutral.

Ollie goes still…and then he nods. My heart stops for a second before jumping to my mouth. I feel breathless, a small glow of disbelief mingled with inexplicable happiness burning to life in my chest. 

‘Really?’

‘Yes! Yes, I like you, ok?’ He blurts out, folding his arms over his chest again, very persistently looking away, ‘So say you want, go on. Take the piss out of me. They did.’

He jerks his head towards the door again, but I don't follow his gaze. Instead, I reach over and gently take his jaw in my hand, tilting his face back to mine. The blonde keeps his eyes averted, but lets me turn his head.

‘I'm not gonna take the piss, Ollie,’ I reassure him, ignoring his sound of disbelief, ‘I…I like you too. A lot.’

‘Yeah, right. You're just saying that. Probably gonna go laugh at me-’

I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. He stiffens, but eventually lets out a soft sound and relaxes into it, pressing closer. I feel myself smile as he starts to move, one of his hands moving to cup my cheek, pulling me into him. I rest a palm on his thigh, the other on his chest, letting my eyes fall closed at the feeling of his mouth moving against mine. 

Emotion explodes inside me, my chest warming, my heart fluttering. This is better than I've ever imagined, his lips softer, his hands gentler, his tough facade dropping steadily. His smell surrounds me, clean but slightly musty from driving the van this morning, comforting me. 

We pull apart, the hand on my cheek moving to brush hair from my face as we gaze at each other. His glasses are slightly askew, his lips parted, breathing heavily, eyes wide. He goes to say something, carefully choosing what he wants to tell me, only to be interrupted by a slow clap from across the room. Our heads snap round, finding Phil and Dave standing at the open door.

‘Fucking finally!’ Dave exclaims, grinning widely.

‘Took you long enough,’ Phil adds, smirking.

My face goes a deep shade of red.

‘H-how long have you two been there?’ I stammer out.

‘Long enough.’ Dave winks.

‘Well fuck off, both of you! You wanted this, now we want some privacy.’ Ollie snaps, shooing the two of them away.

They cackle as they go, shooting us lewd looks.

‘Have fun, lovebirds!’

‘Those fuckers…’ Ollie mutters to himself, shaking his head.

‘Don't be too hard on them. Got them to thank for this, after all,’ I giggle, looking shyly at him.

‘I guess so. Still not happy-’ 

I cut him off with a kiss again, chuckling as he returns the kiss with more passion this time, wrapping his arms around me.

[jupiterswasphouse]

WASP REVIEW - DEEPTORA BOUGH WASPS & DEEPTORA HONEYCOMB BEES (DEEP ROCK GALACTIC)

[Image IDs: Two renders, one of a swarm of Deeptora Bough Wasps, followed by a swarm of Deeptora Honeycomb Bees /End IDs.]

I just started playing Deep Rock Galactic fairly recently, and I'm a big fan! There's a lot in the game for bug fans to enjoy, with the vast majority of wildlife within the rock and stone being bugs, although the bugs are all aliens and aren't very easily comparable to the real thing. Even still, as tends to be the case, we can still allegedly find our Hymenopteran friends amongst this collection of extraterrestrial exoskeletal animals! But how do these bugs from the Hollow Bough and Sandblasted Corridors compare to those of our world?

First off their appearance, and, I'll be honest, there's not a lot here to analyze on the bugs themselves visually. Understandably when there are hundreds of bugs attacking at once, the developers wanted to make these guys more like particles than individual 3D models. Regardless, we can still take in a few details from their silhouettes, in which we can see, in a design choice surprisingly similar to the Mask Hornets from Lethal Company, the Deeptora Bough Wasps are actually more dragonfly-like than any social wasp, with the only wasp I can think of to really compare them to being ichneumon wasps.

[Image Sources: jupiterswasphouse, ie myself, and The Pathless Wood | Image IDs: A photo of a great blue skimmer dragonfly perching on a rusted dark metal garden decoration, followed by an image of a relatively large male ichneumon wasp on a green leaf /End IDs.]

Luckily, they at least appear to have the right number of wings, with a pair of forewings and a pair of hindwings, although there doesn't seem to be any real indication of legs. As for the Bees, meanwhile, are less clear, although they have a similar shape, also don't have any visible legs, they have a slightly wider gaster, and the presence of proper hindwings is unclear.

However, just because the actual insects don't provide us with much visually, doesn't mean that they don't give us a little bit more to go off of in general, as they still, of course, have nests!

[Image IDs: Two renders of the nests, the former belonging to the Deeptora Bough Wasps while the latter belongs to the Deeptora Honeycomb Bees /End IDs.]

... and clearly, these are very alien structures, with the bees' nest not being too easily comparable to the arboreal slabs of wax made by the true honey bees of our world we typically think of, genus Apis. However, it may be easier to compare them to some of the nests of honey bees of a different genus, that being Trigona!

[Image Source: Wikimedia Commons, Sharp Photography | Image ID: A photo of a Trigona bee nest in a tree, the structure being very round with a multitude of holes /End ID.]

Obviously, it's not one-to-one! But, with its more enclosed shape and entry holes, it's a lot closer than those of genus Apis. We'll be returning to Trigona for other reasons later, but in the meantime, we'll move on to the Deeptora Bough Wasp Nest. Now, this nest is perhaps easiest to compare to paper nest making Vespids such as paper wasps, hornets, and yellowjackets. Although it seems to combine elements of the open, umbrella-shaped structures built by the paper wasps and the enclosed structures built by the hornets and yellowjackets.

[Image Sources: Flickr, Bob Peterson, and ResearchGate, Tshering Nidup | Image IDs: A real world photo of a nest of paper wasps, species Polistes major, subspecies major, followed by a photo of a Vespa mandarinia nest on the underside of a roof /End IDs.]

Although, again, it appears very alien, with a sort of red, angular, and glowing structure within the more paper-nest-like outer side of it. As previously mentioned in the It Takes Two Wasp Colony review, there are paper wasp nests that glow under UV, but these glow green, as opposed to red, and I'm uncertain how much ultraviolet light is found in the caves and mineshafts of Hoxxes IV.

Speaking of those caves, it's also worth noting that these nests are all found underground, which is not true of honey bees, nor paper wasps or hornets, this can be the case in some yellowjackets, which will build nests in holes relatively deep under the ground.

[Image Source: SMCMVCD | Image ID: An illustration of a yellowjacket nest that's been built underground, with a tunnel leading to the nest, a round structure made of paper /End ID.]

Furthermore, with regards to the number of insects within these colonies, it is stated in the bestiary that the Deeptora Honeycomb nest contains "10 million" drones, which is a strangely large number. For one, I'm not sure how that many bees fit inside these small structures, as even large nests in the real world contain "only" up to 80 thousand bees. Perhaps the tunnels extend further underground than they appear, but in game you don't seem to see the extensive tunnels below the nests that they would need to house them. Secondly, bee drones are, in fact, the males, meaning these ones would be incapable of stinging, not leaving the hive often. So how numerous, then, are the swarming workers? The log on the wasps is less specific, stating that they are actually more numerous, which seems to be inaccurate to their real world counterpart, although it's difficult to find proper numbers, as it appears that beehives generally contain more individuals than even the biggest of yellowjacket nests.

But what about their attacking behavior, then? Well, they seem to have the same general defensive behaviors, swarming and stinging players when they get too close to the nest, giving chase until the nest and the swarm are destroyed. They're a bit more aggressive than the eusocial Hymenopterans of our world, with mosts colonies only really attacking when directly disturbed in one way or another, although the dangerous environment of the caves may have made them evolve a more easily spooked demeanor.

The Bough Wasps are also described as being less aggressive than the bees, which is interesting, as it tends to be the case that eusocial bees are less aggressive than eusocial Vespids.

As for their feeding behaviors, the diet of the Bough Wasps is uncertain, as it's seemingly not mentioned, but it can be assumed that these wasps feed on the nectar of some sort of plant life given the surroundings of Hollow Bough. What is mentioned, however, is the feeding behavior of the bees, specifically being described as "flesh-eating".

Now, some of you may be thinking that there's no way there's a real world equivalent, as the eusocial bees of our world feed on pollen and nectar. However! Three examples can be found in the aforementioned genus Trigona! Trigona crassipes, Trigona necrophaga, and Trigona hypogea. These bees feed on carrion in place of pollen (Although, perhaps disappointingly to some, claims they make "meat honey" are inaccurate)! It can be assumed that the bees of Sandblasted Corridors do the same, as it is stated that they are "not particularly harmful towards Dwarves", therefore, likely not feeding on living sources of meat.

All in all, they're an interesting bunch! Clearly accuracy wasn't necessarily on their minds when making these guys, understandably so given that these are, in fact, alien in nature. Can't necessarily dock ti many points for that reason, though some things could have served to be a little more accurate. If I had to give a rating, I would say-

-

Overall: 5.5/10

-

Leave your wasp review suggestion in the replies, tags, or askbox!

[squicky-fannish-discourse]

A scene from the RP I was doing with @zennx-23 which probably explains why we have such a Zeus problem.

@let-it-ripperoni

I hope you don't mind me tagging you since you were interested haha

full plot + more in the comments of this post!

.

"Oh yeah, Suzaku dropped a meteor. It's such a mess trying to get the Bladebreakers to work together, I thought I'd get their bit-beasts to try and help. But no!"

"What?" he asked. "How did you survive that?"

"I have a bit-beast too."

"But it's his dimension."

"Listen," she said, as she waved off her hand. "This stays between me, you and Peter, and there are some things I can't tell you, because Zeus is listening through you."

Brooklyn stared at his beyblade on the drawer, which innocently sitting there.

Hiromi sighed. Brooklyn sighed.

"So you're going to pick a fight with Takao," he asked her.

"Yes," she said.

"Should a King really be picking fights like that?" she heard, and this time, the world changed around them, as Brooklyn's beyblade glowed. Brooklyn spun around to see… himself sitting on the throne. "She'll put herself in check."

Around them were pillars, and if you looked out at the pillars were the lightning clouds.

"It's his first time in the halls of thunder," Zeus said with a grin, as Brooklyn looked around in fear and horror. "Well, hello, Brooklyn. And thank you, woman, for enabling him to finally come here. So I can meet him and remind him of what a worthless failure he is."

Brooklyn spun around.

"Huh!?"

"If he was such a worthless failure, why are you upset I've let him know," Hiromi asked.

Brooklyn spun around to look at her.

"I came to clarify," he said. "Only she can make the rules, because she interests me. Going up against Suzaku should at least warrant that much respect."

"You're playing chess games for the end of the world?" Brooklyn asked. "I order you to stand down."

"Boy." Zeus got up. "I think you got it all twisted. While you're laying about kissing pigeons, I've been terribly bored."

He snapped his fingers. Hiromi saw it first, and one second Brooklyn was standing, and the next, he was flung across the halls of thunder.

Zeus was advancing on him. "Shall I teach you a lesson?"

As he was about to take another step forward, Hiromi had rung her scythe around his neck.

"Not another step," she snarled. "You will not hurt him on my watch."

Zeus slid his eyes over to her.

"And you dare challenge me in my own realm?" he asked with a grin.

"I've already done it with a game," she said. "I'm not afraid of doing it in a proper fight."

He laughed. Brooklyn gathered himself.

"See, this is why she's interesting," he said. "She's not afraid to pick fights with everyone and anyone. A true hornet."

Brooklyn staggered to his feet.

"We'll face you together then," Brooklyn snarled. "For the end of the world. I see what she means about me holding you in check. You're trying to get to me so you can take over the end of the world. Isn't this a blanket checkmate?"

Zeus grinnned. "True enough," he said with a sigh. "Looks like you have a fight in you. Let's go then boy."

Brooklyn stumbled back down.

He raised his hand then as he pointed it at Brooklyn.

Hiromi drew her scythe, and it sliced cleanly through his Zeus' neck, while he laughed, and he erupted into electricity, and he streaked around from behind her, while she spun around. He drew his electric ability and he pointed at her. She sliced through the pillars as she went for him, with no hesitation. As she sliced through him, and he kicked her out into the lightning clouds.

Brooklyn could only see streaks of lightning outside. He widened his eyes. The clouds around them lit up with lightning.

His heart rate rose in panic, as Hiromi sent Zeus flying back into his hall, and he balanced himself on the pillar. She pivoted herself to attack. She was bleeding, and part of her hair was singed. Brooklyn widened.

Zeus clapped his hands.

They blinked.

Next moment, they were both standing in front of him, unscarred. The halls weren't destroyed. Hiromi was fine. Brooklyn looked around them.

Hiromi pointed her scythe at him.

He smiled.

The chessboard formed.

"I'll only allow him to advise," he said. "If you can even take his advice, because it's got some of my lies. He's still a brat who hasn't learn to control me yet."

"Yet," Hiromi said.

"If your knight has a weak mind, he'll be mine."

They both stared at the knight, one of her pieces, which he'd sliced off.

Brooklyn glared at it. "I'll be in control of my own mind," he snarled. "Now that I've truly seen you. I can't wait for you to grovel in front of me, Zeus."

Zeus grinned.

"Begone. I'll call you both in later, when I'm bored."

He forced them back to their reality. Hiromi turned to Brooklyn, who was wiping his mouth in fury or frustration. Angry tears sprung to his eyes.

"I don't want to cause the end of the world, Hiromi."

She nodded.

"Yes. I won't let him use you."

.

Meanwhile Zeus was looking down at the chess board he'd made, and it rotated idly around him.

He snapped as the Halls of Thunder started to repair himself.

"Truly the most audacious human I've ever seen. Using my own wielder against me," he said with a grin. "Now what do I use against her?"

and a mini animatic for this scenee hah

[aggimaginary]

The Bad Guys Season 2: The Baddest Trip (chapter 1) - Take A Trip

Surprise! I'm back with a brand-new story and a brand-new chapter. Since it's a New Year, I decided to publish the first chapter of The Bas Guys season 2. Please enjoy the story for the first day of the year!

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It was another normal day at the Bad Guys' hideout. Everyone was doing their everyday routine and minding their own business. It wasn't their schedule to have another heist or have another night shift to be vigilant with other criminals. It was time to sit back and relax.

For Wolf, he went through photo albums of him and his team that had gone through over the years. They were all about the fun and happy memories. Some memories were about the successful heists they made, and some were from other places they'd been in. Those were the best memories Wolf had ever saved. There was no treasure in the world that he would trade for his best friends.

Snake slithered in and looked over Wolf's shoulder to see what the team leader was looking at. "Hey, Wolf, what are you doing?"

"I was looking back on our photo album about the places we've been to," Wolf said.

The rest of the Bad Guys joined in to see the album for themselves.

Tarantula chuckled while looking at the photos while Wolf flipped the page every minute, "Heh. Those were the good times, right? Who knew we would spread the word all over the world about who we were?"

"And everybody knew us now," Wolf stated as he flipped another page.

Shark laughed when he pointed to another photo, "I remember this. It was a fun heist."

Hornet scanned through the album and noticed that he wasn't in some of the photos, not to mention he didn't recall those memories in the album. "I don't remember some of them."

"You weren't part of the team yet, bug," Wolf ruffled Hornet's head gently with his finger.

"Oh, yeah," nodded Hornet.

"Hey, at least you were in some of them," Piranha pointed out some of the photos on the page that Wolf flipped a couple of times.

Near the end of the album, Hornet was already in pictures. He came into the team a little late, "Don't I know it."

"It would be fun if we go back in time and do these things all over again," the team leader sighed, missing those moments.

"Hey, Wolf, we had a clean slate now. I don't think we'll ever go back," Snake advised.

Wolf knew Snake was right. He went a little far with plans before, and he couldn't risk getting himself and his team in trouble again. Not this time. But then Wolf had a different idea this time, "What if we can?" He stood up, which startled his friends. "I mean, not in that way. What if we can take another trip around the world, just for a good ol' fun trip?"

But the other Bad Guys felt more confused and worried than ecstatic.

Snake knew Wolf was planning something drastic as he told him with cautious advice, "Are you sure, Wolf? I mean, we still have our bad reputation out there. We may be vigilantes, but only here in LA."

Wolf then said while peeking through the gap of the blinds, "Snake, I get the feeling that the gang needs a little rest from all of this. Our crime life, our crime-fighting life," he closed the blinds and turned around face-to-face with his team, "Plus, it'll be one way to tell the world we're… 'half' good now."

"What if no one would believe us? Just like what happened at the gala?" Tarantula reminded about the Gala of Goodness disaster a year ago.

"Then we'll show them."

"I don't know, Wolf. Remember last time? We're definitely on their wanted list," Hornet said while looking through his helmet, showing each of his and his team's holographic status in every country. Some countries titled them as "unknown.".

"Then, if it didn't work, then let's just lay low and consider this as our vacation trip," Wolf suggested with a convincing smile.

While the other Bad Guys were unsure of this trip idea because they had caused a lot of trouble all over the world when they were still full Bad Guys, they realized they hadn't left Los Angeles for a long time. They had been laying low to avoid getting caught, being in prison for a year, and changed careers when they were trying to change their ways and went good… well, not fully good yet since they were still adjusting. It would be fun to travel and get away with problems occasionally and clear their head after what they had been through after getting released from prison.

"I do want to travel around the world with you guys," Hornet confessed. "Besides, I missed a lot before I came here."

Tarantula snorted as she would feel envious if she missed out, "Oh, what the heck? I don't want you guys to take all the fun."

Shark wrapped his fin around Snake, Piranha, Tarantula, and Hornet, and squealed, "Woo! This is gonna be so much fun! Another Around-The-World trip! Just the six of us!"

"I'm so in, Hermanos," Piranha raised a thumb up.

Feeling defeated that no one was against Wolf's trip plans, Snake sighed as he rolled his eyes, "Fine. But I'm warning you, Wolf. It won't be easy to travel around the world. It was easy before, but now that we're clean, we won't be able to do the same thing of how we traveled last time."

"So what? We're gonna buy tickets?" Wolf guessed since they didn't have to force someone to send them somewhere around the world anymore.

"That's good enough for me," Hornet said, agreeing with the idea.

"I'm checking them right away," Tarantula was already typing on her laptop to book planes and reserve tickets.

"Oooh, where should we go? The Bahamas? Africa?" Shark inquired.

"What about Spain? Or France? They had good cuisine." Piranha suggested.

"I want to try to go to Japan. For what I've read, that is where my species came from," Hornet said.

Feeling pressured, Tarantula knew it would take much money to go to places that her friends requested. "That's a lot of places I have to book, and it costs a lot of money. We just have to secretly rob another bank again just to get that amount of money."

"Not to mention, stealing a gold bar," Piranha stated.

While about it, Wolf was looking through his phone as he scrolled through a bunch of stuff on social media until he found something interesting.

"What if we don't need to steal gold?" He declared.

The other Bad Guys paused for a moment, feeling puzzled by Wolf's phrase.

"Wha-?" Hornet wanted to ask.

"What if we do another heist to steal something bigger and more affordable than money?" Wolf smirked sinisterly.

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At LAX, a pilot was guiding a line of visitors around the airport, and their tour ended up in hangars where the planes were resting and ready to serve again in a couple of days. Some planes in the hangar were still in service and held good records for their services.

"This is the Gulfstream IV." The pilot showed one of the planes in the hangar, "This aircraft is one of the most popular aircraft from Gulfstream Aerospace, a trusted name in the private aviation industry. It has a completely customizable interior and can seat up to 14 passengers."

The visitors were amazed by the plane as they took pictures of it.

The pilot then guided the visitors to the next plane, "And this is the Learjet 60XR. This aircraft was a poor buy in 2008, losing 74% of its value."

Despite its poor reputation, the visitors still took pictures of the plane.

Then, they moved to the third plane as the pilot narrated, "And this is the Cessna Citation XLS. This aircraft has a maximum cruise speed of 507 mph and a transcontinental long range of 2,100 nautical miles. It can also take off from shorter runways."

The visitors took a picture of the plane while following the pilot to the end of the hangar.

Once they were outside, the pilot stood in front of the gates of the next hangar, where the gates were closed, yet to reveal the next aircraft.

"These planes were good in service while some couldn't be bought, but there is one jet plane that is the latest, and passengers who already tried this plane gave out 5 gold stars because of its luxurious experience and could fly all over the world."

The visitors were so excited to see this plane and hoped that they would see the insides of the aircraft.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Airjack Hydraulic FX8." When the gates opened, the visitors made wide smiles as they wanted to see the jet plane with their own eyes, but once the gates were fully opened, they only saw an empty hangar.

The jet plane is gone.

"Hey, what happened to the private jet?!" The pilot screamed as one person took a picture of the empty hangar with a flash of his camera.

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Meanwhile, Diane was doing a lot of paperwork in her office when she received a call by the radio from her secretary.

"Governor Foxington, a journalist is here to report on an important news."

Diane pushed the button to speak through the radio, "Send 'em in." At this cue, the doors opened, and Mira entered the office while holding a folded newspaper. "Oh, Ms. Rose, it's you."

"Just call me Mira, Diane. I have something to show you," Mira threw the newspaper on Diane's table, showing the news about a missing jet plane.

Diane read the headline and inquired, "A private jet was stolen?"

"And I want to let you know because this isn't just someone who stole it," Mira took out a photo from her pocket. "I didn't put this in my report, and I kept this from sight," she placed the photo on top of the newspaper and showed Diane. That it was an image of a circular seal with the initials "BG".

Knowing what those initials meant, Diane placed a paw on her face and sighed as if she was exhausted upon seeing this. "Not again."

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The missing private jet plane zoomed across the sky, off the grounds of Los Angeles, and flew through the clouds.

Hornet stared down through the window as he began to hyperventilate, "I can't believe it! We stole a private jet! The Airjack Hydraulic FX8 Jet! Can this just get any more unusual?"

"Relax, Hornet, this is an exquisite jet. They even have champagne here!" Snake said as he popped the champagne bottle open and poured some in his glass.

"I do love this cocktail shrimp." Piranha added as he took one and snapped his mouth close with the shrimp inside.

"Come on, guys, we didn't exactly steal it. We're just borrowing it for the trip, and we'll return it once we're done." Wolf declared as he piloted the jet at the cockpit.

"You mean 'secret borrowing,'" Tarantula stated.

"Yeah, Webs gets it," Wolf smiled before he heard his phone ringing. He took out his phone from his pocket and saw Diane's contacts onscreen. "Oh look, guys! Our favorite governor," he tapped the answer button and said, "Hello?"

Diane's voice was so loud through Wolf's phone that even the other Bad Guys could hear her from the cockpit, "Wolf, what the heck! I gave you more than one chance to change your ways! I even let you have a double life as both criminals and vigilantes, and yet you stole a jet! A private jet!"

Wolf chuckled, "Relax, Diane, we're just 'secretly borrowing the jet."

"We're travelling around the world!" Shark yelled from the back while raising a glass of soda.

Diane overheard Shark's voice, and she felt confused. "Why would you want to travel? This is… new."

"We already traveled before, Diane. We want to do it again," "Wolf explained, but when Diane opened her mouth to scold him more, he cut her off by continuing, "And before you say anything, we won't do anything drastic this time. We'll be doing… something else."

Diane scoffed angrily, "I don't like what you're doing, Wolf. I'm sorry, but you leave me no choice. You better get back here and return the jet back to where you stole it, or I'll snitch on you guys and send you back to jail."

"Oh no, you could do that."

"I'm serious, Wolf. You better get back here, or I'll call the chief. It's your choice now."

"Very well. I'll send you a message of the scavenger hunt that will provide you with my answer."

After the call, Wolf sent Diane a message, and she read it.

ONE WEEK LATER

Diane took a quarter that was taped under the cemented bench as Mira followed her along with the hunt.

"Here it is! A rustic quarter from 1933. We're getting closer to our answer!"

But Mira slapped her aggressively across the face, making her drop the quarter. "Wake up, Diane! They chose to steal the jet and fly around the world!"

Somewhere, the Bad Guys were relaxing on the beach.

"You really fooled that governor, huh?" Snake spoke while still sunbathing next to Wolf.

"She'll thank us once we finish our trip." Wolf responded.

"Maybe we should go to places that we haven't gone to yet," Tarantula offered.

"Or a place we were never heard of," Hornet uttered.

"We'll just plan as we go," said Wolf while still trying to relax under the sun.

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Cast:

Michael Godere - Mr. Wolf

Chris Diamantopoulos - Mr. Snake

Ezekiel Ajeigbe - Mr. Shark

Raul Ceballos - Mr. Piranha

Mallory Low - Ms. Tarantula

Eugene Lee Yang - Mr. Hornet

Zazie Beetz - Diane Foxington

Stephanie Beatriz - Mira Rose

Eric Bauza - Pilot

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Next on The Bad Guys: The Baddest Trip...

Hornet: Why don't we go to the place where you used to live?

Piranha: It's not a big deal.

Piranha: Welcome to Letifecto.

Hornet: But why did you want to leave this place anyway? There's nothing wrong with it.

Prima: My little hermano has finally come home!

Primo Sr.: The prodigal son has finally returned.

Wolf: Your family is… good and perfect.

Piranha: My father wanted me to be something I don't want to be.

Wolf: No one will know that we're the Bad Guys, and no one will know we're infamous criminals.

Wolf: No one will know. Just act normal. No one has to know.

Prima: I know

Primo Sr.: Pepe, you're a disgrace!

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I finally finished the first chapter of season 2. I finally published chapter 2 after a long time of planning. The Bad Guys 2 is coming, and I decided to continue my story. Season 2 took place before the sequel, so season 2 happened between the first and second films. There were plenty more surprises about what happened to the Bad Guys before the sequel, so get ready for plot twists!

The scene where Wolf gave Diane a scavenger hunt and Mira slapped her away was a reference to Family Guy: Into Harmony's Way.

This story is dedicated to my two best friends, MasterClass60 and TU4QU0I53T4IAN6L3 who were there for me through tough times and helped me plan season 2. I hope they'll see this story and like it! There will be more chapters to come, and I promise that there won't be any long waits. Stay tuned for this year!

Happy New Year, everybody!

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Tuesday all. Yay for writers strike being over. Now we just need to get the actors a good deal as and we'll get our couple back hopefully soon enough. Or have some kind of premiere on the horizon. Till then let's continue on with our rewatch. :) Getting to the crux is this whole Stanton SL. Their moments get better as we approach the climax of this whole ordeal. We don't have a ton of content but its pretty solid what we do get. Off we go.

3x05 Lockdown

We start out with our couple already in process of booking someone. Lucy is telling Tim that Stanton gave Jackson a blue page with leaving the drugs behind. She see's the guilt wash over him. She immediately stops Tim from blaming himself. Says it’s not his fault. Tim is riddled with guilt regardless and says it is. It was his fault because it was his idea to reach out to Doug's old rookie.

Then Tim sees Stanton enter the building and goes into aggressive protector mode. I’m here for it. If looks could kill oooh boy. That look in his eye is like a fight on sight clause. *fans self* Nothing love more than protective/aggro Tim. Lucy spots where his eyes are going. Quickly tries to deescalate Tim from knocking Stanton out cold immediately. Saying they don’t want to make things even worse for Jackson. Tim doesn’t hold back in the slightest when he comes up to Stanton. Asking if he wants to brush up on any arrest control techniques. Get em Tim. (Tim would've totally owned his ass if they had)

First off I love Lucy trying to ground Tim by touching him. Bringing him back to earth by saying hey we’re on duty… let's go. Doing what she does best by de-escalating him in the moment. He is ready to throw down with this putz. He doesn't care the consequences at this point. Lucy is very aware of this and is trying to head it off as quickly as possible. Doesn't want to risk Tim in the war they are waging against Stanton. She is doing her damndest to protect him from himself in this moment. Then Doug makes his next mistake... Trying to incite Tim by using Lucy and saying very inappropriate things about her.

Tim doesn’t have to step in because Lucy is gonna stand up for her damn self. Goes toe to toe with Stanton. Just like Tim does. Suddenly it's not just Tim. It's Lucy ready to take him down as well. Tells Doug he’s the one who is going to need rescuing. Whew lord This is getting good. Pass me the popcorn. Stanton is messing with the wrong couple. Separate they'll kick his ass. Together? Utter desolation. Fool of a man to try and take them on. Had no idea the hornets nest he just kicked.

Lucy telling Stanton she has a great hair pull takedown she’s been dying to try. LMAO Amazing. Don't mess someone they care about. Tim then becomes the one to ground her with his touch. Having them walk away before either of them do something they’ll regret. The fact that both of them wanna kick his ass in this moment is *chef kiss*. Best part is their natural instinct to protect one another.

Could care less about themselves but always instinctively shield the other. God I love them. Let's talk about how casual and natural they are about the touching to calm each other. Especially in front of others. My heart. Friggin love how they both wanna take Stanton down but also want to protect the other. Lucy calmed Tim down and then when Doug went after Tim through Lucy he had to be the one to calm her down. What a pair these two.

Tim can't help but give her crap about going after Stanton after she made him stand down. Lucy cracks me up with her testosterone line. How she got a contact high off of it LOL It was that and she was protecting both of the men in her life. The most important relationships to her. He threatened both in one moment and she was not going to have it. Ugh so good. Great opening scene for them hot damn. I will take this kind of content all day.

They follow up with a hilarious scene with the girl they booked. She’s asking for the bagels she stole back. The balls on this chick my god. Tim tells her they’ve been disposed of. She goes on saying how bad that is for the environment. His eye roll and his head tilting back LMFAO. I love this man so much your honor. He's in no mood to deal with this person. Lucy steps in and offers some logic to her ‘whole ethos’ Adore her stepping in and trying to run interference for Tim.

They’re both so over this girl by the end of their interaction I’m dying. They have much bigger problems today than her. She continues her obnoxious annoyance and says she doesn’t believe in money. But wants them to call her a cab. Sassy Tim arrives on the scene and he is most welcome. I’m laughing so hard at his reply. He is beyond done with this girl and her BS. Forever love how sassy he is now. Thank you Lucy haha

Lucy turns around and asks Nolan how his exam was. He says he passed but doesn’t seem psyched about it. Lucy notes this and Nolan says Grey just confirmed he’ll never make detective. Tim does this deep chuckle that does things to my insides and says ‘You mean you still thought you had a shot?’ LMFAO He’s so mean to Nolan and I love it sfm. Legit brings me joy how constantly underwhelmed he is by John.

His body language the whole scene has me rolling. Legit tickled pink Nolan with his letter of reprimand thought he still had a shot at detective LOL It’s the giant laugh that proceeds his line that kills me the most. Tim can't believe John could actually think he still had a legit shot at it after what he did. He’s such a jerk to Nolan and it makes me happy. I’m a bad person I know haha

They get pulled away by their freegan. She goes and gets herself arrested again by breaking into a car in their parking lot. John follows them out and quickly gets pulled away by a man in a van while they arrest her again. Nolan of course gets caught in a bomb threat outside the station. Leaving Tim and Lucy stuck there until the threat is neutralized. Hence the name of the ep. They're locked down till this mess is resolved.

They bring everyone in the lobby and in holding down to the parking garage. I love the chat they have about it. Lucy is voicing her concerns and anxiety for Jackson. Tim is instantly the calm presence she needs. He knows she is stressed because now they can’t be Jackson’s backup. Advises her the best he can till they are out of this current mess. The more they focus on the task at hand faster they're back out there to help him. I just can’t get over them being this united front to protect Jackson best they can. Makes my heart happy.

Once they're out of the garage Tim and Lucy do some digging on Graham their bomber. They find out he has a GF Kelsey Adams. She set up a page to fund his medical bills. Yet they haven't asked for money. Another thing is she’s going under an assumed name and they have no pictures of her. She wasn’t home when Lopez tracked her address down. All their leads aren’t going anywhere. It’s not about money or about the convict this man pretended to want release at first. So feels like they're back to square one. All they know is Kelsey must be involved in this circus. That they're close enough for her to have a hand in this with Graham. The issue is figuring why they're both doing this.

Lucy then has an epiphany and says what if it’s meant to distract them? Since this isn't about money or releasing someone. That the real reason is to pull their focus outside the station. When it should it really be focused inside. Harper then asks what kind of crazy person would be inside while her BF threatens that same building with explosives? I love this beautiful look between them. Their silent communication at its finest right here. All she has to do is look at Tim and they have the same thought. Their Freegan who got herself arrested twice in one hour is crazy enough.

They go to confront Freegan Freida and I love their dynamic. How confident they are and the back and forth they display. Trying to get her to break. Tag teaming it. Explaining how they caught her and her reasons why. Until they realize she’s not Kelsey Adams…. It was real good till then guys haha The real Kelsey takes off and breaks the keypad trapping them down there.

Harper is able to catch Kelsey in the evidence room and figure out why she’s there. They’re trying to get her fingerprints before they’re scanned into the system. Her ex-husband was abusive and has cops on his payroll. Why she was under an assumed name. Harper also finds out the bomb is a fake. Only needed them to think it was real to buy time. Also get him arrested so his medical care could be paid for in prison. With this mess resolved Tim and Lucy are finally able to return to their shift.

Lucy tells Tim about a text she receives from Jackson. Saying everything came to a head with Doug. That Jackson pulled his dad running IA card. That Jackson thinks he'll back off now. Hearing this sets Tim on edge. He wants to go find Jackson ASAP. He’s worried about what Doug is going to do since Jackson pulled his dad card. Say's he's not the type of guy you can back into corner and not react. Tim is afraid of what he’s going to do now that he is. Has them leave the station immediately to find him.

Tim and Lucy hear a call come over the radio. It’s the exact situation Tim was worried about. He’s having him and Jackson go into an area where they should have serious backup. Doing a ‘premise check’ solo. Doug is up to something and it’s not good. Sounds like he’s leading Jackson into the lions den. Which is exactly what happens. They split up and Jackson gets jumped. He is overwhelmed by 4 guys. Makes a call over the radio and Stanton says he’s coming to help then leaves him there be beaten to death.

Tim and Lucy show up on scene and run into Stanton and he “claims” to have lost Jackson. They quickly find Jackson and rush over to him. Tim calling in ambulance and RA. Beautiful thing about this moment is Jackson grabbing for his body cam. The cam footage that ends up condemning Stanton.

Watching Tim march over with Grey to suspend him. Phew lord Tim telling him 'Give me a reason'. Yum. Stanton gets the ending he so richly deserved. That ends quite an intense episode. Loved the United Front that is them in this episode. The way he fiercely protects Jackson the entire episode while keeping Lucy calm. So damn good. Not a ton like I said but enough goodies to enjoy especially the beginning.

~~~~~

Side notes none really this episode was truly intertwined. Glad to see Stanton finally get what’s coming to him. Awful that took Jackson nearly dying to get it done but glad he was finally removed.

As always thank you to everyone who supports these reviews. Been so fun for me to Analyze and share with you all. All the likes/comments and reblogs mean a lot ❤️ see you all in 3x06

[l1brarian1999]

Warframe Mods - Weapons

Mods are the main way of improving your equipment, so they're rather important and need their own post. They're essentially trading cards but rather than summoning creatures like in Magic The Gathering, you're slotting them into a gun or a dude to make them stronger.

Just like trading cards, they come in a variety of colours, which usually indicates the Rarity - now don't be confused, there's a difference a mod which is Rare and a mod which is rare. You might have a Common mod, that is very hard to acquire. You might have a Rare mod that is very hard to acquire. Most mods are in the standard scale:

Bronze / Common - sort of a brown colour

Silver / Uncommon - more of a Blue to be honest.

Gold / Rare - Yellow, essentially.

Platinum / Legendary - a nice bright white with a subtle blue tint. Usually these are reserved for Primed Mods with a few exceptions. They are always Rank10s

There's more kinds - but generally speaking they'll just be Reskins of Rares or Legendaries.

Now mods have Ranks, most mods you acquire them at rank 0 and pour in Endo and Credits to rank them up. The higher the Rarity, the more it costs. And each mod has a set number of Ranks - usually 3, 5, or 10 with a few exceptions here and there.

Almost all mods work on a Percentile Basis. This means that if the Base stat is lower, the mod can still be used but it presents less benefit. Consider: a rifle with 10% Crit chance, and then you use Point Strike, this only adds 12% crit chance for a total of 22%. Not a great use of the mod slot, which you only get 8 of.

Most mods are quite straightforward - just a flat increase to a stat. E.g. Serration just makes you do more damage. Some mods will boost two stats, or three. Some mods reduce a stat, and also increase a stat, usually by a lot more. E.g. Blind Rage gives you a LOT of Power Strength but at the cost of making abilities cost more. Some mods add entirely new effects. E.g. Aviator reduces the damage you take while in the air.

There are even mods that are purely cosmetic.

And there are a lot of them, though a lot of them you won't ever use. Over time we've figured out the winning combinations, though it changes from time to time.

Let's start simple: Weapons. Relatively simple anyway.

After a while, you'll notice that for each category of weapon - rifle, shotgun, pistol, melee, so on - there's a set of 'core' mods.

Damage - sometimes called Raw Damage, mods like Hornet Strike, Serration, Point Blank, and Pressure Point. These are the very first mods you should be putting on a weapon almost every single time.

Your usual firearms variables like magazine capacity, reload speed, fire rate, recoil, so on so forth. Melee weapons have their own, stuff like Range (the length of the sword) and attack speed (how quickly you swing)

Elemental Mods - each category has mods for four base elements: Heat, Toxin, Cold, and Electric. So if you want Incendiary rounds, or a poisoned sword, this is how. These have complexities in and of themselves, enough for a separate post.

Critical Mods - Think like in Pokemon, there was a chance your moves would sometimes deal double damage, like that but now its something you have control over.

Status Mods - the likelihood that you'll inflict some kind of effect upon the enemy, like poisoned, bleeding, or even irradiated. There's also mods that make these effects last longer.

Faction Mods - Mods that somehow make a weapon do more Damage against a particular faction of enemies.

And many, many, many more.

Warframe Modding gets more complicated quicker - at first you'll just be putting in mods to make sure you stay alive; more health, more shields. And then maybe wanting your Warframe powers to hit harder, or hit more enemies, and that's where builds get interesting. We'll do a separate post for Warframe stuff

As you get further into the games, you'll start collecting enough mods that you have Options. Like some weapons won't be useful for damage, but maybe they're good for a utility like stripping enemy armour, or healing you.

So as you get further along, enemies will get tougher, and you'll need to hit them harder. You maybe rank up your mods more, or add new ones. I won't go into huge detail, so here's a scenario to plant the idea of Multipliers vs Additions: If you add Serration to a Rifle, you are multiplying that rifle's base damage. B x S If you then add Heavy Calibre, you are adding more damage. B x (S+HC). Sure, this is an increase... But. If you instead add Point Strike, and get decent consistent critical hits, then you multiply the damage by the Critical Damage stat. B x S x CD. You can also add Vital Sense to make the CD multiplier bigger. B x S x (CD x VS).

Now not every gun is the same, some don't have good crit stats. Some have no status effects. Sometimes there's other gimmicks or mechanics that benefit from stats you wouldn't think - like magazine capacity.

[monstersandmagicians]

Anyways, cheered when I checked my inbox this morning. Been waiting months for this announcement.

So, thoughts:

-Avallon Hotel and Spa: obvious Arthurian connection here. Healing springs. Will be fascinated to see the level of significance here - I think Maggie typically names with easter eggs in mind whereas I try to dig as deep as possible when analysing these choices, so we'll see.

-WONDER: so, Stiefvater said that she is trying to writing Wonder as opposed to Horror. The synopses, especially the QBD one, are written as if for a gothic-ish sort of novel, the sort that leaves you feeling claustrophobic. Considering the effect Sinner had on me, I do trust Stiefvater to achieve what she is setting out to do.

-Synopsis: again, the sort of synopsis I would read, think has the good bones for a story, but know it will make me depressed so I'd skip. Again, I have faith.

-"class conflict, an ensemble cast, about four different kinds of love": from the email. Book's set in the Appalachian mountains in the 1942, so the class stuff will be good. Willing to bet on some good sibling content, even though we only have two named characters. Obviously, this will be an adult novel, but I feel its going to sit comfortably next to The Scorpio Races in my head.

-Cars: nothing has mentioned cars, even the bits that have talked about it being a Stiefvater novel. Still, I expect cars, in loving details.

-June Hudson: Okay, so June Hennessy was my first thought on seeing the name, then the fact the book is coming out in June. Hudson? All I've got is the Hudson River folks. From the synopsis I don't think I can make an assumption about which way Stiefvater's taking her character, but I'm assuming she's a Responsible, Practical one. Is described as enigmatic

-Tucker Minnick, FBI Agent: Love the name, again, look forward to finding out where the components were plucked from. Despite working for the FBI, the main synopsis* suggests he hails from the Appalachian. Class conflict bound up in one man?

-Cover: so, a cover had been included. It's white and purple with a house on. Generic and I don't see people pitching a fit over it, but it includes a "sticker" saying "Cover to Be Revealed". That makes sense, we're ages out from the release. Still, feels like the publisher creating problems for Stiefvater there. Looking forward to the real cover and I hope it feels more Stiefvater-y, even if others aren't fond of it.

-The Listeners: while I'm stomping on hornets' nests, the title. Simplistic, but evocative. Would love to know what is listening to who and how many ways this title can be applied.

-Betrayal: the QBD synopsis uses the word betrayal. Could mean anything, tbh.

-The Nazi Thing: has the potential to be really interesting and insightful, if Stiefvater hands it well. Considering her experiences with fandom, I imagine she has proceeded with more caution than others (*cough*Chibnal*cough).

-Length and Date: According to QBD, the paperback is 416 pages (a very satisfying number). Penguin has the hardback at 384. This suggests longer than MI, shorter than CDTH. Penguin has release date at June 3rd, while QBD (Australian Bookstore) has the 10th. The email just says June, so I would say, expect early June.

-Bears: I would rather approach a bear than the TRC fandom, tbh.

*(QBD synopsis differs from the one Stiefvater released; doesn't include Minnick at all)

[kingofthewilderwest]

hey psssst, gimme 3 and 4 in that ask game for Voltron, and maybe another fandom of your choosing for hornet's nest purposes XD

Fandom Ask Game

OH BOOYEAH HORNETS!!!! LET'S A-GO!

I don't know if I can successfully make spice for you, especially because I fear I'm mentioning ships you like, but we'll give honest answers. XD

3. VLD NOTP?

Lotura. By the time Lotor was a developed character in VLD, I'd been through DotU, Devil's Due, and other Voltron materials. How I see Lotura is colored by how their dynamics were set up across broader Voltron lore: a leetle lottle rapey.

Now. Let's be clear. I am open to people shipping or writing about anything (oh, here's spice for the crowd that I never thought I'd admit on tumblr main: if you asked me, I'd defend RPF slash). I think that fandom communities are in boon for tackling any and all topics. Shipping does not mean you are endorsing ethical frameworks... it means you like playing with a dynamic - and that can be any dynamic... because different dynamics are interesting in fiction and can be written for a variety of effects, purposes, colors, explorations, enjoyments, reflections, and ends.

But for me, VLD!Lotura shippers overall investigated it as a sincere ship. And I get that VLD Lotura is not DotU Lotor and Allura. I get that most haven't seen DotU. And I get that people can also reimagine characters any way they want - as more messed up or less messed up or so messed up a tornado is jealous of their destruction. But it means it vibes weird to me. I can't see past Lotor's weird sexual obsessions with Allura across the spans of Voltrondom, and that's not a thing I'm personally fawning over in a ship. But that's just me, and for all people who have a good time, please keep having your good time. ^.^

4. Is there a popular pairing you don’t necessarily dislike but aren’t too invested in?

These fall under the spectrum from "dislike" to "decidedly tepid."

Any ship with Pidge and any ship with Hunk that's not Hunk x Shay. My VLD ships have concentrated around characters like Keith, Matt, Shiro, and a little bit of Lance as a byproduct. But as someone who doesn't like everyone paired off, I tend to be rigid about wanting certain enclaves to remain gloriously platonic, as platonic is the end-all best-all type of relationship to me. There's a specific type of platonic dynamic that I like writing in all my works and that type of platonic dynamic is something I don't want tampered with when I find it in media I consume. So that means we don't touch the space engineers. Pidge and Hunk work endlessly great as a BROTP and I don't want that to change. Their BROTP is so, so, so good. I also headcanon Pidge rather ace-ly, so I just don't want her in a ship.

Also, Allurance. This is again colored by broader Voltrondom. I go in, Kallura has been the deal for decades, I like Kallura, they're friggin getting married in one comic I mean come on, I am preprogrammed to not think Lance and Allura could be an item. Showrunners changing the one canon relationship that's been around from the near-beginning would be wild, amirite? And yet they did. And there's nothing wrong with it! It doesn't bother me. It's cool they explored something new and kudos. But there was nothing in broader Voltrondom to make me care about it, nor did I find Lance and Allura's relationship compelling enough in VLD proper. I get why Lance and Allura connect up in VLD and it's fine, it's perfectly fine, it's just not sparking for me.

I have talked your socks off about VLD alone so I'll end it there, but feel free to poke me again if you want me to opine on another fandom. XD Whether or not people like my takes, I'll admit it's fun to acknowledge how I feel on these ones.

[secret-bug-pain-blog]

FEBUWHUMP INDEX

Hello! We're trying out a new method of posting this year, after last year's posting revealed some very obvious errors in our methodology. Initial, unbeta'd drafts are posted to Tumblr the day of - AO3 posting is pending proofreading & beta checking, but will be posted once we've wrangled our beta readers into reading our Truly Excessive Amount Of February Fic, as well as done our own proofreading and potential light rewriting. We'll add those links later, but for now, there's just Tumblr.

This year, we pared down a good handful of prompts down to a "snippet and illustration" format to fit them within the month - these have been marked as "truncuated" within this index, and are likely to have more detailed fics when we actually get around to Ao3 posting. We also did not illustrate some of these because we got to having to illustrate them for posting and we didn't want to. As this is a time-limited challenge and our usual strategy for running out of spoons mid-sprint is to take a nap and get back at it later, we do apologise if these are lower-quality than hoped. If all goes well, the full, edited versions will turn out better. If all doesn't go well... well, you'll have a valuable snippet of our Worse First Draft, and if the idea strikes your fancy you're likely to be able to do it in a new and more unique way.

We have more or less finished everything here, but we haven't actually posted some of it - if something isn't linked, check back here at the source post later and we'll probably have it up eventually! For most of these our reasons more or less boil down to a mix of "tagging things sucks" and "we're photosensitive enough that comfortable light for us isn't really bright enough to photograph things well and it's a big pain to set up the right angles", and neither of these factors are likely to improve.

If we don't post a Collection Work before March 5 then someone come yell at us in the inbox. (EDIT: Collection Work's index can be found here!)

KEY

Day of origin - Prompt - Word Count - Fandom - Universe - Summary [Links]

Characters listed mostly by level of importance. POV character marked.

DAY 1 - Helpless - 919 words - Hollow Knight - Unnamed Hornetfic (working title: "hronet out of bugaria") - Hornet, captured and poisoned beyond a hope of escape, is stripped of her cloak and mask. [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)]

Characters: Hornet (POV), ??? (OC)

Contains: Poisoning, manhandling, loss of treasured items, debatably nudity (she doesn't care very much about it), loss of mask (she cares very much about it).

DAY 2 - Solitary Confinement - 341 words - Bug Fables - Canon/Canon Divergence - Hoaxe is still alive. [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)][AO3 (collection)]

Characters: Hoaxe|Wasp King (POV)

Contains: Starvation, dehydration, slow and painful character death, tree angst.

DAY 3 - "Bite down on this" - 4442 words (+598 in omake) - Bug Fables - Unnamed Leipephilene Fic/Bug Fables Canon Crossover - Team Slacker collect a new version of an old informant. [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)]

Characters: Scarlet (POV), Delilah (POV), Stratos, Team Snakemouth but as background characters.

Contains: Manhandling, vampirism, fear of death, rampant paranoia, seedling murder, bartering, and the author's extremely self-indulgent crossover with a fic it has not yet finished.

DAY 4 - Obedience - 2523 words - Hollow Knight/???(Bug Fables) - "Walk In The Backyard" Transmigration - The Hollow Knight fails at its duty. [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)][AO3 (individual work)]

Characters: Hollow Knight|Pure Vessel (POV), Mothiva (not named in text), Zasp (not named in text), mentions of Hornet and The Radiance.

Contains: Heavy injury, mild suicidal idealation, mistaken identity, abandonment, literally kicking a bug while it's down, and the Hollow Knight's unfortunate inability to handle itself without being offered a purpose from an external force.

DAY 5 - Rope Burns - 2579 words - Bug Fables - Selkieverse - A geis or geas (pl. geasa) is an idiosyncratic taboo, whether of obligation or prohibition, similar to being under a vow or curse, yet the observance of which can also bring power and blessings. It is also used to mean specifically a spell prohibiting some action. Geasa are common in Irish and Scottish folklore and mythology, as well as in modern English-language fantasy fiction. [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)][AO3 (Beta read, individual work)]

Characters: Astotheles (POV), Niothibng (OC, not named in text), Butomu (not named in text).

Contains: Feral behavior, magical bindings, mildly graphic description of injury, dehydration, overwork, (the bug equivalent of) prosopagnosia, and being manhandled by strangers with decent intentions.

DAY 6 - "You lied to us" - 1909 words - Bug Fables - Wereweevil Vi - Vi has a nightmare. [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)]

Characters: Vi (POV), Kabbu, Leif (dream), various others (mostly in dream, largely OCs)

Contains: Gore, painful transformation, dream murder, nightmare sequences, accidentally harming friends, a whole lot of verbal abuse,

DAY 7 - Suffering In Silence - 864 words - Hollow Knight - Canon/Canon Divergence - The Vessel has entirely lost count of how many times they've attempted to beat Nightmare King Grimm. They are beginning to grow very, very tired. [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)]

Characters: The Knight, Nightmare King Grimm, brief appearance of Grimmchild, mentions of Dirtmouth residents.

Contains: Metaphysical burn wounds, frustration, The Ritual unfinished, and the general irritation of being stuck wrangling the affairs of gods.

DAY 8 - Lightning Strike - 817 words - Legend Of Zelda - Unnamed AU (Flesh, Bone, Blood, Magic) - "With brutal strength and extreme resilience, this type of Lynel somehow surpasses Silver Lynels in sheer power. It is said they are actually Silver Lynels who mysteriously transformed after being struck by lightning. If you see one, get away as fast as you can." [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)]

Characters: Kasa (POV, OC), Link, Squall (OC), mentions of Lyr (OC)

Contains: Dragons, worldbuilding, the very predictable effects of holding a sword to the heavens during a thunderstorm, and transformation of the self (mild).

DAY 9 - Bees - 250 words (this one in particular has so many clashing versions that we don't want to even try a formal one) - Bug Fables - Canon/Canon Divergence - The problem isn't with the Hive. It's with Vi. [INITIAL POST (Tumblr, truncuated)]

Characters: Vi (POV), misc. bees.

Contains: Terrible self-esteem, deeply questionable familial dynamics, The Hive.

DAY 10 - Killing In Self Defense - 549 words (4125 words and counting) - Bug Fables - Canon/Canon Divergence - Bugarian autumn is cold. This is a fact of life around this part of the world, albeit one that Scarlet has never been terribly fond of, especially when his more favourable hiding places turn out to not keep out the chill. Thankfully for him, campsites are generally open to any traveller caught out in the cold. Unfortunately for him, the category of "any traveller" also includes bugs that he would rather not associate with... [INITIAL POST (Tumblr, truncuated)]

Characters: Scarlet (POV), Sasha (OC), Leif, Vi, Kabbu, Misc. OCs.

Contains: Sexual assault, overstimulation, stereotyping, murder, a not insignificant amount of nonconsensual touching, and the situational energy of having someone who is very much trying to come on to you approach you at the bar in a social situation where you can't explicitly say "no" and have to try to dance around the fact that you aren't interested whilst someone makes increasingly unsubtle come-ons to you in a way where it's increasingly obvious that they see you less as a person and more like a sexy lamp.

DAY 11 - Last Man Standing - 715 words - Bug Fables - Unnamed Forced To Harm A Loved One Verse - He has to protect them. Or they will die. [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)]

Characters: Leif (POV), Kabbu & Vi are mentioned but just out of frame.

Contains: Leif's Request spoilers, altered states of mind, unreliable narrator, significant injury (ignored), feral behavior, and fun facts about biology.

DAY 12 - Semi-Conscious - 270 words (in the same doc as Day 18, which is around 4k words) - Bug Fables - Multi-part (Calia and the Undertaker) - Domesticated forms of parasitic fungus are rare among most kingdoms. Celia's homeland, in this regard, is unique - to her knowledge, there weren't any kingdoms with domesticated cordyceps, save for home. A lack of evidence, of course, doesn't mean a definite no - and the thing that she's found lying by the side of the river certainly isn't a living bug. [INITIAL POST (Tumblr, truncuated)]

Characters: Celia (POV), Leif (POV), Levi, mentions of the rest of TSM, brief Leipephilene

Contains: Poisoning, Leif's Request spoilers, heavy usage of fan canon aka Shit We Just Made Up Because We Thought It Might Be Interesting, cordyceps-related activities.

DAY 13 - "You weren't supposed to get hurt" - 640 words (Too Many) - Bug Fables - Kinabbalism - The newest of Astotheles' Bandits runs into a familiar face our in the field. [INITIAL POST (Tumblr, truncuated)]

Characters: Astotheles (POV), Kina, Maki, a handful of Bandits and Ant guardsbugs in the background

Contains: Family drama, limited information, and dubiously ethical people management.

DAY 14 - Bloody Tiles - 537 words - Bug Fables - Canon/Canon Divergence - Every day that it is in the labs is another day that its siblings come to harm, and it is beginning to grow tired of waiting. [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)]

Characters: Kjdrira|Zommoth (POV), Misc. scientists, misc. zombugs.

Contains: Leif's Request spoilers, unethical experiments, fallout from said unethical experiments, Kjdrira's distinct & growing distaste towards the living, and a certain amount of blood.

DAY 15 - "Who did this to you?" - 422 words (1.5k words) - Bug Fables - Canon/Canon Divergence -  Muze unexpectedly finds herself taking care of an injured drone from an unknown colony. Though he's obviously in no state to answer questions, she doesn't need to be a detective to tell that some of his injuries couldn't have been inflicted by the wilderness alone. [INITIAL POST (Tumblr, truncuated)]

Characters: Monsieur Scarlet (POV), Muze (POV), Grandpa, misc. OCs, mentions of Todd.

Contains: Nonconsensual drugging, unexpected side effects of said nonconsensual drugging, unreliable memory, light interrogation, Scarlet's weird biology, and assumptions of assault where the POV character cannot remember at all if the assumptions accurate or not.

DAY 16 - Came Back Wrong - 974 words - Bug Fables - Canon/Canon Divergence - On some level, Leif knows that he's changed. It's simply easier not to think about it. [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)][AO3 (individual work)]

Characters: Leif (POV), mentions of ensemble.

Contains: Dysphoria, oddities, bodily anomalies, the distinct feeling that something has changed, the lack of desire to be aware of that change, subconscious suppression of impulses that perhaps shouldn't be buried, unreliable narrator, and a surprising lack of Leif's Request spoilers.

DAY 17 - Hostage Situation - 231 words - Bug Fables - Wereweevil Vi - They say they'll let her go when her hive pays for her. She knows all too well that that won't be happening. [TUMBLR] (snip from longer work - no AO3 posting)

Characters: Vi (POV), misc. bandits.

Contains: Captivity, resistance, and a slowly ticking clock.

DAY 18 - Too Weak To Move - WORDS (in same doc as other chapters) - Bug Fables - Multi-part (Celia and the Undertaker) - It's harder to nurse a not-quite-bug back to health than Celia expected. Thankfully, not-quite-living patients are forgiving, when it comes to not dying. [INITIAL POST (Tumblr, truncuated)]

Characters: Celia (POV), Levi (POV), Leif, brief appearances from Zasp

Contains: Leif's Request spoilers, questionable knowledge of medical care, terrible quarantine procedures, attempting to nurse someone back to health on your admittedly-poor memories of A Species Similar To Them.

DAY 19 - "Please don't." - 274 words - Bug Fables - Charmcraft AU - Something is wrong with you. Something has been taken from you. Something has been changed about you. You are in pain, and you, and you, and you. All you want is for it to stop. [INITIAL POST (Tumblr)]

Characters: ????????????????????

Contains: Unreliable narrator, unreliable identity, unreliable mind(s), mild gore.

DAY 20 - Truth Serum - 766 words - Bug Fables - Postcanon/Canon Divergence - Leif wakes up in an unfortunate situation after a night spent in a neighboring kingdom. [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)]

Characters: Leif (POV), Interrogator (OC)

Contains: Nonconsensual drugging, self harm, kidnapping,

DAY 21 - Unresponsive - 173 words (in our short prompts doc) - Bug Fables - Unnamed Bodysharing Verse - Kina's hibernation goes long this year. [INITIAL POST (Tumblr, truncuated)]

Characters: Maki (POV), Kina

Contains: Hibernation, fear of death, Schrodinger's dead sister, and a potentially irrational amount of belief in the idea that Said Sister Is Going To Wake Up Soon.

DAY 22 - "You weren't meant to be there." - WORDS - Bug Fables - Charmcraft AU - Vi's arm was broken in the Snakemouth Den flood. Though she's been trying to act like she's fine, it's obvious that something is wrong - it's hard to hide it when you're struggling to open your fingers, and no amount of insisting she's okay can hide the scent of hemolymph when she moves too energetically, and now, it seems like it's been getting worse. When she starts acting particularly shady, Leif takes notice. When she sneaks out the inn window at night, he follows. [INITIAL POSTING (Tumblr, truncuated)]

Characters: Leif (POV), Vi, Kabbu, ??? (OC)

Contains: Permanent disability, some very heavy discussion on said permanent disability and measures meant to take care of it, internalized ableism, self-surgery, arguments, and taking questionable paths to a more functional arm.

DAY 23 - Presumed Dead - WORDS - Bug Fables - Canon/Canon Divergence - There are, occasionally, some benefits to having a resting heart rate of zero beats per minute. Leif doesn't think this is one of them. [INITIAL POSTING (Tumblr)]

Characters: Leif, Thronja (OC), a handful of miscellanous bugs having a very, very bad time.

Contains: Leif's Request spoilers, body horror, Leif's normal and rational decision making process, and turning your back on the body.

DAY 24 - "I'm doing this because I care about you" - 1266 words/1565 words - Dungeon Meshi - Canon - Falin is dead, eaten by the dragon. Marcille can't let her stay that way. [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)][AO3 (beta read, individual work)]

Characters: Marcille (POV), Falin's Skeleton. Technically, there are other people here, but Marcille isn't paying a whole lot of attention to them.

Contains: Dungeon Meshi spoilers - mainly up to Chapter 28 of the manga, but there are some subtler ones from later. Dark magic, a possibly unhealthy amount of attachment, wound-picking metaphors, fatigue, and bleeding yourself dry for the sake of someone who's already dead.

DAY 25 - Immortality - 3250 words - Bug Fables - Canon/Canon Divergence - ZB-162 reflects on a life lived far too long. [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)]

Characters: ZB-162 (OC, POV), Kjdrira|Zommoth, Misc. other zombugs.

Contains: Leif's Request spoilers, terrible conditions, terrible mental states, death and rebirth of an identity, self-blame, and the world's most mentally ill fungal communication network administrator.

DAY 26 - Last Words - like 2k words - Dungeon Meshi - Chimerachuck AU - Chilchuck is eaten by the dragon. His former teammates sort out his will. [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)]

Characters: Chilchuck (POV), the Red Dragon, the entire rest of the party (minor appearances), Namari (minor POV), Mayjack (minor POV, Packpatty, Fullertom, Chilchuck's Wife (does not have a canon name as far as we know, but we will survive).

Contains: Major character death, Dungeon Meshi spoilers, character being eaten by a dragon, description of injuries from being eaten by a dragon, description of dragon innards (because of the being eaten by a dragon), digestion (done by the dragon), epistolary elements, and a handful of guilt and messy family dynamics that are mostly non-dragon-related.

DAY 27 - Left For Dead - 29 words - Bug Fables - Wereweevil Vi - You don't win friends by betraying them. [TUMBLR] (painting - no AO3 posting)

Characters: Ollie (OC), Misc. Leafbugs

Contains: Blood.

DAY 28 - Human Weapon - ~3k words - Dungeon Meshi - Dungeon Rabbit AU - The spurs on his heels are long and sharp enough to decapitate with a kick. He tries very, very hard not to think about what that might mean. [TUMBLR][AO3 (individual work)]

Characters: Chilchuck (POV), Laios, miscellanous others.

Contains: Nonconsensual body modification, an unorthodox form of body dysphoria, crippling debt, and spoilers for miscellanous worldbuilding bits for Dungeon Meshi.

DAY 29 - Not Allowed To Die - 1466 words - Bug Fables - Fifty-Two Pickup - Piece by piece, Kjdrira puts its eroded disc back together. It will not let the effort be in vain. [INITIAL DRAFT (Tumblr)]

Characters: Kjdrira|Zommoth (POV), Carmina, mentions of misc. zombugs.

Contains: Leif's Request spoilers, Blight magic, questionable methods of surgery, potentially unhealthy attachment issues, and a fungus who is loathe to let go of what they have only just been allowed to know.

[possibly-in-wonderland]

Incorrect Creepypasta Quotes ft My Self-Insert Pastasona(?) bc Cringe Culture is Dead and I Want to Feel Alive by Fall Out Boy

like the title? lmfao i love self-inserts. anyway, i retired the old version of this character. she's not a demon anymore, but her stepdad is sort of a demon which has made her a partial demon? (idk how to explain it)

also featuring marble hornets and everymanhybrid (bc i feel like habit would tolerate her existence)

~~~

Alice: How do I ask someone out? Toby: Roses are red, violets are blue, guess what, my bed has room for two. Alice: No! Tim: Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in a car. Alice: Stop! Brian: Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily I can make you scream. Alice: I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory. ~~~ Toby: *is throwing stones at Alice's window* Alice: You have a phone for a reason, Toby *THUD* Alice: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT MY WINDOW?! ~~~ Tim: Damn, the power went out. Jay: Don’t worry, I got this. Jay: *stomps foot* Tim: What-? Jay: *Sketchers light up* ~~~ Habit, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy. Alice: I will short out the language centre of your brain if you say anything like that ever again. ~~~ Habit: I know every song to ever exist it doesn't matter if it's from the past, present or the future. Alice: Oh yeah? Then continue this. Alice: I don't cook I don't clean- Habit: So let me tell you how I got this ring. Habit & Alice: ..... Habit & Alice: GOBBLE ME, SWALLOW ME- ~~~ Toby: I need life advice. Tim, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person.

~~~

Toby: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Brian: Brian: I'm gonna tell them. Tim: Don't you dare.

~~~

Alice: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million dollars? Jeff: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house. Ben: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million. Jeff: Good thinking.

~~~

Alice: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me Jeff: Okay, but in my defense, Ben bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo. Alice: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

~~~

Alice, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Jay: You did WHAT– Tim: William Snakepeare

~~~

Alice, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here. Jeff: Hey. Ben: Hi. Toby: Hello. Tim: Hey! Alice: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! Brian: We were out of Doritos.

~~~

Alice: Dumbest scar stories, go! Toby: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Brian: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. Jeff: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Ben: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Tim: Tim: I have emotional scars.

~~~

[lastintheserverbox]

[Mushroom's eyes widened, a bittersweet pang cutting through their heart, reality trickling down onto them like raindrops.]

[This warmth... This love, and acceptance...]

[Could they really have it? Just like that...? Was it really theirs to take?]

[There had to be some kind of cost in the end, right...?]

...Okay.

[They sat in silence for a while, letting the sounds of the woods calm their nerves as it has always done.]

Y-you don't have to carry me, I... You've already done so much by coming out here, I'd hate to make you work even harder...

[Although they had reached a peace of sorts, Mushroom was stiff a a board, feeling like if they made a wrong move Snail would dissipate like a mirage right from under their hands. They remained unaware of the other's condition... For now.]

Unless we go back for my gear, I'm not sure how we'll make it back to the homestead...

I... left it back there... with the hornets...

-🍄

[nothing to redirect]

[arokel]

lol MY SISTER’S QUOTE wasn’t about you. CS = Captain Swan from OUAT. And she was talking about Gale x Katniss, and Hiccup x anyone but Astrid fics. We didn’t even know your blog existed until you started jumping to conclusions and sending me hate asks.

Dear God okay. I really, really wish I didn't have to do this because I hate fandom drama with a passion, but I mistakenly opened a can of worms and now I feel obligated to deal with it, so here we go.

1) You have reblogged and liked my fics and wip posts before. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say you don't check usernames very carefully, but to say you didn't know I was an author (as you said in your reply to my ask) or that you didn't know I existed (as you say here) is a bit hard to believe. But whatever, the post wasn't about me, apologies for jumping to conclusions.

2) I know what Captain Swan is. I also know that you've been tagging rant posts with "which cs do I mean??? I guess we'll never know", coincidentally timed with passive aggressive posts in the bitb tag directly referencing recently posted Don/Bobby headcanons. I - and everyone else - just ignore them because they're not worth starting fights over, but you're not as subtle as you think you are.

3) I don't know how to say this nicely, so I'll just say it. The fandom is not on your side. Or if they are, those people aren't in the tag. No one I have spoken to agrees with you. If there are lots of people who think like you do, great! Hang out with them! Create another tag where you don't have to deal with the kind of stuff we're posting in the main tag!

4) When you write fic about Don and Kate, is that rpf? Even though he had a girlfriend at the time the story takes place, who he later married? Because if so, you're just as bad as I am for disrespecting his memory. If not, then I'm equally within my rights to imagine a fictional relationship for him, with Bobby or with anyone I choose. Pick one or the other, but you can't set a double standard here.

5) Everything I said in my ask - which was politely worded and not nearly as hateful as it could have been - remains true. Looking through your blog it seems like seeing stuff about the boys being queer is really upsetting for you, and I reiterate what I said before: blacklist it. You're willingly subjecting yourself to stuff that upsets you and then blaming us for shoving it down your throat.

So. Can we just not do this?

To everyone else, let it lie please. I waded into a hornet's nest and that's on me, but we don't need to stir it up any more than it already has been.

[mypestexterminetor]

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