#*chanting* ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANG-

[yongislong]

common phrases in relationship + nct dream.

wc: idk eekk genre: fluff/angst-ish/crack?/establish relationships

cw/note: none, i dont think! common things said within reader x non-idol!dreamies relationships <3 i loved writing this sm

mark... you're doing so well. exchanged in between you guys almost every day. you both could have been alone together all day, lazing around and he'll never forget to tell you how proud of you he is, and you the same, especially on his hardest days. it comes with tears, laughter, a tucking of hair behind the ears, a kiss on the crease in between your brows, or sleepy exchanges in the morning before classes or at night just before knocking out, limbs tangled. there are more lighthearted moments between you both like when he pretends to shoot webs out of his wrists but overall support is key

renjun... boi. and yes with an i, and yes he does the hand sign thing with it, like will come up to you and go "boi" and walk away because hes a FREAAAKK. a close runner up is c'mere. GAHHHH he's insane. literally insane. he has so many phrases some saved just for you but any time you hear "c'mere" you're in for it. absolutley in for it. either he wants money, food or a world domination partner. he knows you'd do anything when he lilts his pitch up a bit higher and whines, he knows hes gorgeous its infuriating but also, look at him hes :") hes jun!? your jun!

jeno... ang or pretty thing. he's a biter. IDK, okay i dont. know. but what i do know is that he bites. whether you're making breakfast or laying curled up in bed, he has this... innate alpha urge to bite your cheek his fav, lower stomach, tricep, thigh or shoulder. literally so non sexual like hes just feral. its cute though and that little ang sound he makes </3 he always apologizes with an eye smile and a "sorry pretty thing" after giggling and wiping his spit off your skin T-T lol. likes seeing ur cheeks get pink after he bites them tho haha

haechan... and scene. he thinks he in a movie fr... everytime he rants or confesses something to you and is slightly even a bit lovable or vunurable he will end it with "and scene." he claims its to break the tension but you know its bc he always puts on a happy persona and he can't handle being emotional like that with someone. hes gotten better at it since you came along yaas but will still do it after he makes out with you and it makes you violent?? and he thinks your face is the funniest thing??? hes ever seen??? everytime?? :D ... :|

jaemin... aaaaigo. obviously! kinda basic but other than pet names and endless praise hes more of an acts of service person. hes the type of guy who would like, want to squeeze their pet to death but, out of love :") and its the same with you like he wish he could be better with words but "aigo" is just so fitting when all he feels is insane amounts of love towards you and he cant... like squeeze you xtra hard lol. sometimes he does one or the other but if your being extra cute he'll pick you up and spin you around while chanting aigo over and over again

chenle... i'll pay. oh chenle and his chivarly. yes you are both broke-ish college students and yes hes paid for at least 95% of everything since you both began dating. only times you've been lucky enough to pay is when he rushes off to the bathroom and you flag down your server with debit card in hand. he zelled you almost immediatley so, cash is now a must for you. he can't help but spoil you. you'd once mentioned to him how you can't imagine what he's gonna be like once you two get steady jobs and all he did was smile at you... like the joker... spoiler he bought daegal with his first adult paycheck

jisung... smoke bomb! i.... ok so he gets into predicaments a lot and ok, tbh i dont think hes all that shy but he is kinda awkward and envionrmentally unaware? so he'll be talking to you, or anyone really, and when he senses your eyes kinda squint and a confused pout make its way onto your lips he pretends to smash something on the ground and yell "smoke bomb" and run as fast as he can but... theres obvi no smoke so he... i mean... you can picture it T-T its v cute though just not when he gets flustered in the public grocery store because you asked him if he knew what gnocci pasta actually was

[osc-aus]

(if an unfinished ask sent earlier i didnt mean to send it 😭)

heres a little bfb au fic i wrote :0

so all the objects finish competing in BFB, and fanny finds herself infatuated with the idea of being able to creat things. and science.

so she makes her own lab, pretty cool id say. one day, as shes out and about she’s pricked by a mysterious type of plant, only seen by one other person.

who happens to be dead.

she ends up haunted by this… mysterious voice. she gets all the former contestants, rounds them up into the lab she made, and experiments on them 👍

woohoo this has been a fun au fic to write so far 🎉

[chanting] ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANG- /pos

[astrozones]

Serious SaSi Inquiry

so uhh

Yesterday I was thinking about how Roman almost never wins something/gets something in fanfics, or tends to not be good at some of the stuff stuff he’s canonically good at art-wise (ex. drawing or writing). and it got me thinking

I can’t... remember any time where Roman won an argument in SaSi?? I mean... Logan and Roman came to an agreement in their versus episode but I don’t know if that really counts as him winning. 

idk, maybe I’m wrong

but also maybe I’m right and this has angst potential where Roman thinks he’s always wrong no matter what

[yelenasdog]

rebel girl (vic de angelis x fem!singer!reader)

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘 REBEL GIRL  𝐁𝐘 BIKINI KILL

(listen while reading for best experience) 

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff with a sprinkle of angst for .0000002 seconds

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: a kiss during a shared performance turns into something more.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 2.3k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: cursing, kissing, drinking, my attempts at writing roman dialect and italian, and i believe that’s it.

𝐚/𝐧: ok so i know not a whole lot abt måneskin so if anything abt this in terms of the band or how they perform is inaccurate forgive me! but i think vic is hot and this song makes me think of her LOL. thanks for reading, and enjoy the fic!! <3

(all translations will be linked at the end of the fic)

♀~♀~♀

The cheers of the crowd were deafening, but it seemed the beating of her own heart was even louder. Lights flashed a plethora of neon colors, and those on the stage looked liked silhouettes moving about freely.

Ethan nodded at Thomas, quickly bringing down his stick to the tightly spread plastic.

Thomas bobbed his head, starting to play the opening riff.

Select members of those in attendance began to cheer, just the opening notes being enough to give away what was about to be performed.

“For our last song tonight, we’d like to bring out someone you all know and love.” Damiano spoke into his mic, wrapping an arm around Vic’s neck and allowing her to lean down into the microphone in his hand.

“She’s someone that everyone, including myself, heavily admire as an icon of the generation and a true Riot Grrrl.”


Her eyes closed, a deep breath inhaled and exhaled through her painted mouth. She jumped up and down in her heeled boots, face pointed towards the rickety ceiling of the venue as she did so. She ran a ring adorned hand over her earpieces and made a funny face, making sure they were adjusted to her liking.

A stagehand appeared to her right, handing her a microphone and wishing her good luck. She smiled, responding with a quick “thanks” and a smile.

Victoria looked over from her place on the stage with Damiano, a devilish glint in her eye.

“Here for one night only, London let us introduce” he yelled, leaning down to Vic’s level once more, allowing them to both speak at once, “Y/n Y/l/n!”

A roar erupted from everyone in the building as the aforementioned strutted on stage, lifting the mic to her lips.

“That girl thinks she’s the queen of the neighborhood, she’s got the hottest trike in town.” She started, finding her mark in the center of the stage.

“That girl, she holds her head up so high, I think I wanna be her best friend yeah.” Damiano’s raspy voice let out next, both of their voices mixing together like honey as they started the chorus.

“Rebel girl, rebel girl, rebel girl you are the queen of my world.

Rebel girl, rebel girl.”

“I think I wanna take you home” Y/n began, Damiano then taking over.

“I wanna try all your clothes.” He finished, both him and Y/n groaning in unison to the song.

Vic would be lying if she said she didn’t have to clear both her throat, and her mind. Thomas’ fingers worked skillfully and quickly on the neck of his guitar on the small transitional solo, his focus staying on the cool steel.

Damiano held up his tattooed hand, making a talking motion as he sang and rolled his eyes, “When she talks, I hear the revolution.”

Y/n came up behind Vic, one hand running across her hip, the other on her own as she chose to lean into Vic’s mic over her shoulder, “In her hips, there’s revolutions.”

The lead singer then strutted across the stage back to Ethan, propping a leg up on the base of his kit, and then walking back singing, “When she walks, the revolution’s coming.”

Knowing what line was coming up next, the bassist held her breath, and looked down. It was short lived, though, as Y/n picked up her chin with her pointer finger, forcing her to look her in the eyes. She moved his slowly to Victoria, their lips nearly brushing, her touch feather light.

“In…her…kiss…” she slowly sang, dragging it out longer than in the original song and than in rehearsal. She quickly turned her head, falling to her knees with one side to Vic and one to the audience, her hair cascading over her features.

“I taste the revolution!”

She smiled at Vic as she pushed herself up, a goofy grin plastered onto her face as she allowed Damiano to take the chorus. Victoria replied with only a small smirk, her dark eyeshadow glittering under the colorful lights, making her look like some kind of gothic angel, or celestial being.

Resuming singing, Y/n walked back to the front of the stage, her and Damiano switching every verse. She sat down on the edge, letting her legs dangle over the high surface, feeling fingertips barely touch her unclothed thigh.

“That girl thinks she’s the queen of the neighborhood.”

“I got news for you,”

They both pointed their mics into the audience as the screen behind them flashed “she is!” Allowing the crowd, as well as Thomas, Vic, and Ethan to all scream the two words loudly and in sync.

“I know she is,” her and Dami both sang, as he wrapped an arm around Vic’s neck,

“My best friend yeah”

The chorus continued for a final time, Victoria stomping her heavy platforms on the wooden stage, biting her lip as she performed.

Y/n made her way over to Thomas’ side, jumping to his left and swaying her hair, a knowing smile appearing on his face upon seeing Victoria’s gaze falling upon her movements.

Victoria made rounds to Ethan and then to Thomas, passing Y/n and lightly tapping her hip with her own.

Y/n skipped over to Damiano as he did to her, the pair meeting in the middle briefly for the “love you like a sister, always.”

Victoria returned to her spot from the start, and Damiano found his way to Thomas. Y/n continued on towards the ethereal bassist. The both of them were simultaneously singing to the aforementioned in harmony, nearing the end of the song.

“Soul sister, rebel girl,

Come and be my best friend,

Really, rebel girl.”

Y/n dragged a hand across Vic’s chiseled cheekbone, and in that moment Victoria had taken on the title of a muse for the woman standing in front of her.

“I really like you” she sang to her, lowering her mic as they looked into each other’s eyes, her chest heaving. It was like the music had been reduced down to a slight buzzing, and the thousands of peering eyes meant nothing. They were untouchable.

Y/n resumed for the last line, never breaking her eye contact.

“Be my rebel girl.”

It seemed like a question, a proposal of sorts from one to another, as Y/n’s hand dropped once more.

Victoria quirked a brow as if to ask “are we really doing this?” To which Y/n muttered “fuck it” with a laugh.

Victoria’s hands found either side of Y/n’s face, her calloused fingers rough, yet gentle. Y/n’s own hands found one lazily draped over waist, the other over her shoulder to pull her close.

And in what probably the entirety of the building could have guessed would happen (maybe just not on stage, in that exact moment) they closed the gap between themselves, their lips connecting in a sweet kiss.

Chants and yells of encouragement were whooped by the band and crowd alike, as Damiano raised the mic and the final notes played.

“Y/n Y/l/n everybody!”

They pulled apart, sweaty foreheads against each other’s sides as they turned towards everyone, waving. They were quickly joined by the rest of the group, and Y/n stepped away, leaning into the microphone still hooked on the stand in the center of the stage.

“Let’s hear a huge round of applause for the wonderfully mad Måneskin!” She shouted, the roar of the crowd even louder. She raised her hands in the air, then moving one to her ear, gesturing for them to be louder. They complied, and Y/n took out her earpiece for a moment, soaking in what the band had created.

Vic shouted to Y/n over the noise, waving her over.

“Come on, bow with us!”

Y/n shook her head, not wanting to intrude any further to which Thomas reached out an arm, pulling her over. A bright smile covered her face as Vic reached out, wrapping an arm around her waist only for a second.

Hands joined, they all leaned forward in a dramatic bow, coming back up and waving.

All in sync, they all yelled “thank you, London!”

They looked around for a small period of time afterwards, still having a hard time believing that this was their new reality.

Looking to her right, and seeing Y/n doing the same, Vic decided that Y/n was a specific part of said “new reality” she didn’t quite want to let go of.

So after saying one more goodbye and exiting the stage, the bassist remained silent. It slightly worried Y/n, who had noticed the girl’s lack of communication while she had been thanking the rest of the band members for allowing her to share the stage with them.

“Is Victoria alright?” She asked Damiano, to which he only chuckled before replying.

“She’s fine, trust me. Give her a little bit of time and she will be back to normal.”

Y/n just gave him a tight lipped smile, not completely convinced.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed as Victoria slipped into her dressing room, locking the door.

The rest of the group, already having had a few drinks, was out the door, waiting on a cab.

“Y/n? You and Vic coming?” Ethan questioned.

She nodded, though she was unsure if that was the case, doing her best to cast a reassuring smile in his direction.

Once she made sure they were gone, she knocked twice on the heavy door. Before she could even announce it was her, Vic’s voice rang out.

“Vattene, Damiano!”

“Victoria?” Y/n’s tone floated through the door to the other side, and Victoria face palmed and silently cursed herself. She quickly got up and unlocked the door, regretting her harsh tone.

“Y/n, hi.”

“Hi.” She responded, slight uneasiness about her. Victoria picked up on this immediately, her brows furrowing and her eyes softening.

“Are you alright, Y/n?”

The other girl scoffed and looked at her feet. Scared to break any boundaries now that they weren’t on stage, Victoria cautiously lifted a hand towards her chin, softly picking it up like Y/n had before.

Her voice sounded wavy as she spoke, her jaw slightly hanging slack.

“Actually, I came here to ask the same thing.”

Victoria tilted her head like a confused puppy, leaning up against the doorframe.

“Why? What happened?”

Struggling to find the right thing to say, Y/n began to trip over her words.

“Well, I just, you know, on stage and everything- we were super, y’a know, close and everything and I didn’t wanna, I don’t know. Make you uncomfortable or overstep any boundaries or anything, and if it was just a kiss I didn’t wanna overthink it or read into but, I mean, I really liked it but you seemed to go quiet so-“

Victoria cut off her painful rambling with another kiss, taking firm hold of her arms and moving her inside with her and closing the door with her foot.

“Wow.” Y/n said when they finally pulled apart, her eyes as wide as dinner plates and her pupils the size of the moon.

“Yes, wow.” Vic chuckled, moving a piece of Y/n’s stray hair behind her ear.

“You’re very different when you’re on stage, Y/n. You know that?” She asked, admiring how the fluorescent lights above illuminated Y/n’s features in the most wonderful way.

Victoria had decided she liked her most like this. Vulnerable, sweaty, and with the biggest heart eyes she’d ever seen.

“That’s what I was afraid of.” She laughed.

“No.” Vic frowned, taking her hands. “It’s not a bad thing. Not at all.” She brought her over to the velvet sofa in the corner of the room. “It’s admirable.”

“How?” She asked with a small smile.

“Easy. Because even though your stage persona is lovely,” she laughed, “I think I like this Y/n even better. She seems like she’s kind, and has a big heart with lots of love to give.”

Stunned, the other girl just smiled like an idiot, leaning forward and pecking Vic’s lips.

“Well, what about you?”

“What about me?” The bassist replied, enjoying the banter forming between the pair.

“Why’d you go all radio silent? I’d never heard of Victoria De Angelis from EuroVision winning band Måneskin to do such a thing.” She exclaimed in what was the worst accent Victoria had heard in her life.

(Though, it was endearing, she’d admit.)

“Truly? I was thinking about how to ask you out. If you even wanted me to ask you out, all of that.”

Y/n’s eyes somehow got even bigger, and she laughed, tucking her legs beneath her.

“How is that even a question?” She exclaimed.

“Like I said, you are different on stage from off it. I didn’t know if it was just a front, a performance.”

This time it was Y/n’s turn to roll her eyes and lean in, encapsulating Victoria’s lips with her own.

“It wasn’t just a show, I’d love to go out with you, Vic.”

They both giggled like school girls hidden under the bleachers, leaning in for another kiss. It was hot and heavy, yet slow and sweet. It was everything either girl had hoped for. 

And thanks to a certain Italian doofus, or 4, it would be momentarily put on pause. Mid-make out four loud knocks startled the girls, causing the two do them to pull away.

“Victoria! Daje! Perché non rispondi al telefono, eh? Stiamo aspettando- oh. This makes sense.“ Damiano burst through the door, Ethan and Thomas stood behind him with not-so-surprised looks painted on their faces.

“Realmente? Realmente, Damiano?” She scoffed. “Stai manzo!”

“Sorry, guys. Enjoy yourselves.” He turned over his shoulder to the rest, slowly shutting the door.

“Sicuro di dire che non verranno con noi.” He snickered, as did the others.

“Eccallà!” Ethan remarked, to which, not that Vic and Y/n knew, Thomas shoved him to the side.

Victoria sighed, returning to face Y/n.

“So. Where were we?”

♀~♀~♀

i hope yall liked that!! mwah make sure to reblog if u did <333 take care of urself!

translations 

[ninjayuri]

Okay so balethunder symptoms! This is based on both my own creativity and also research on different kinds of electrification symptoms!

Low/initial symptoms

Light numbness in body

A prickly, tingling sensation

Abnormal heartbeat or breathing

Headaches (prolonged exposure), a feeling of being dizzy or unbalanced, usually accompanied by a slight drowsiness

Severe symptoms (usually as a result of being caught in balethunder for WAY TOO LONG)

Worse headaches, dizziness, etc. Victim may barely be able to move or think

Extreme numbness or inability to move some muscles, particularly in limbs

A burning sensation

Irises turn from their original color to a light purple glow, usually accompanied by the victim’s vision becoming clouded with a purple tint

Veiny electric purple glow spreading throughout the body, mimicking markings like that of the aftermath of a lightning strike.

Vomiting/coughing up blood and/or bleeding from the eyes (“crying blood”)

*chanting* angst angst angst ang-

but real talk HEY this is super detailed /pos and it all makes sense too :0 the only thing i am concerned about is your search history

[lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie]

*chanting* ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANG- ~♡

Ooh! Hello, heart anon! Hope you had a good holidays!

And angst you say? Hmm~

Imagine one day Roman wakes up and goes downstairs to see the other three light sides already getting things together.

The tree was decorated already and Patton’s making the food with Logan and Virgil even though Patton’s tradition was to wake everyone up and then do the festivities.

So Roman goes and sees Patton. He asks about why they started with him.

“Oh, sorry, kiddo! I forgot to wake you! I guess I got too excited.” Patton tells him.

“It’s okay.” Roman sighs.

Then after Roman has breakfast, he opens the trash can to throw something away when he spots his handmade ornament in there, broken in half. Horrified, he picks it out and cleans it before asking the nearest side, Logan, why it was there.

“It was broken. A broken ornament would not look nice on the tree.” is all Logan says. “Apologies. I would have tried to fix it but I do not have the same abilities as you do.”

Roman just nods and sighs again.

“Okay...”

He then leaves with his broken ornament. He mopes on the couch, listening to the others have fun without them. Then he remembers Remus mentioning want to celebrate together with Janus if he finds the time. Roman wasn’t going to go as he thought he’d be busy helping the light sides but after all this time, he just might.

So Roman grabs his stocking from the fireplace and the presents for Janus and Remus from his room. And he leaves to spend christmas with Janus and Remus.

(I hope that was good!)

[drethanramslay]

Part 3: Vulnerability

Pairing: Aurora x MC (Iris Everette)

Word count: 3.2 K

Part 1 Part 2

Warning: It's smut in the first half and if you aren't comfortable reading it, I have distinguished it with an asterisk (*) sign. There is angst, description of panic attack, and death threats.

Tagging: @miyakokurono @agent-breakdance @trappedinfandoms @vampiregirlsblog @lilyofchoices (let me know if you want to tagged)

Songs: Birthday by All Time Low and Bad Luck

Sunlight was streaming through the blue curtains of Aurora's room. Iris was awake, tracing lazy patterns on her girlfriend's back. Aurora was in her naked glory, her head resting on Iris's chest, while their legs were tangled up. Iris was in her boy shorts and a crop top. She still wasn't comfortable to show the scars on her back and legs. Yes they had sex and all but it was either in the cover of the night or her just pleasuring Rory.

She hated the scars. Those painful reminders of how fucked up her past was. A part of her was greatful, that they weren't in places, where she could see them. A small voice in her wanted to tell Aurora everything but the bigger part of her just wasn't ready to dwell in the pain of her past. To this day, her left wrist still hurts when she puts too much pressure on it.

It's already been seven months since the day in the on call room, and everything was perfect. Iris, had gone all out, decorating Aurora's locker with sunflowers, along with a Polaroid collage. She even went on to sing for her in the foyer of the hospital, on her guitar, in front of everyone. Aurora was as red as Iris's hair, but Iris didn't care. She could even go and scream into a loudspeaker about how much she lo- liked her and cherished her.

If everything is going perfect, and she hasn't asked any questions, why bother ruining it with your good for nothing father?

She turned to gaze at the beautiful woman in her arms. She could spend hours and hours with her like this, curled up against each other.

**********

But, Iris had other plans. She smiled wickedly and slowly untangled herself. Luckily, Rory was a heavy sleeper so shifting her to lie on her back was easy. She slowly kissed her collarbone, lapping and sucking on it. Her hands were tracing Aurora's curves, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

"Just give it milk...." Aurora murmured.

Iris laughed internally, and continued her journey of rediscovery. She left fiery hot kisses across her jaw, stirring Aurora from her sleep. She gave out a breathless moan, when Iris continued to kiss that spot on her neck. Aurora could feel herself getting wet, her stomach igniting with need.

The need to touch, feel, release.

She tried to clench her thighs, to get some relief but Iris simply slapped her ass. Aurora yelped and obeyed. Iris then proceeded to masage the area she smacked, drawing a groan from her.

She was a total bottom for Iris. And she didn't even mind it.

Iris continued her journey south. She stopped when she reached the valley of her breasts. Aurora almost lost it when Iris took one in her mouth. The biting, the licking and the sucking, was slowly driving her crazy.

But Aurora wanted more. She grabbed Iris' hand and put it against her heat. "So eager..." Iris tsked. She then went down to settle between her legs, throwing Aurora's legs over her strong shoulders.

Iris kissed her hipbone, sucking so hard that it left a mark. Aurora groaned. "Stop fucking teasing me."

"Well, then tell me what do you want? My mouth? My fingers? Both?"

"Surprise me." Aurora panted out.

"Morning snack coming right up." She ran a finger up her slit, feeling the heat and her dripping pussy. "Damn Rory...you are so wet." She brought her mouth close, her lips just a hair's breath away from her. She kissed her inner thigh.

"Taste me you cowar- holllyyyy shit!"

She descended on her pussy, lapping up all the moisture which had accumulated. She was thorough in her job. She circled her tongue on the sensitive bud. Aurora moaned, a hair louder than before.

"Don't hold back Rory. There is a reason why this is the quietest room. Use it. Moan my name."

"Adara please, please, please more." Aurora chanted.

Iris moved her fingered and slowly circled her dripping cunt. She did it once, twice and Aurora's eyes shut with the excess pleasure.

"Open your eyes. I want you to look."

It was a struggle to open them because  the fog of lust just made everything bleary. Dark green eyes met her brown eyes. The intense gaze nearly took her breath. Iris pushed her finger in, and Aurora's back arched off the bed.

But it wasn't enough.

She wanted more. Sensing Aurora's need, Iris pushed a second finger in and started finger fucking her. She attached her mouth to her clit and sucked, hard.

With every stroke of her skillful fingers, Aurora soared higher and higher. Her stomach was tightening and the pleasure was so overwhelming, she could scream.

"You have been a good girl Rory. Why don't you come for me?"

And Aurora obeyed. Iris' name was on her lips as she fell apart. Like glass shattering, her entire body convulsed, with the intense orgasm. Her legs shook, and she almost choked Iris with her thighs. But Iris didn't mind. She continued to suck on her clit, like it was her favourite candy.

Too much, too much. Aurora thought as her body continued to shiver with after shocks.

*********

Iris climbed on top of her and kissed Aurora languidly, letting her taste herself.

"Mmmm... Good morning to you too." Aurora lazily said, her legs felt like jello, and she was on cloud nine.

"Hi baby." Iris said as she settled between her legs, with her chin in the valley of her breasts. They stayed like this, catching their breath, basking in the post coital bliss.

"I am going for a shower. As much as I wanna taste you and fuck you, we will get late." Iris said as she got out of bed. She stood, and stretched, her crop top riding up to show her perky breasts.

But Aurora's eyes were on something else. Near the junction of Iris's ass and her leg, she saw half inch long lines. She counted twenty five in total and it seemed like someone had carved them into her porcelain skin. She reached out and touched them.

"Adara-" she began. But Iris just caught her wrist. "Don't." She said so coldly, before she headed to her room, leaving Aurora dazed, confused and cold.

💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤

It had been four days since Iris became so distant. Back to the way she used to be. Closed up and re-enforcing the walls she had built.

Aurora couldn't understand why she became so distant suddenly. She had see the deep scars on her back but she had never questioned her. She knew that Adara would eventually come around and speak her heart out. But, she never did.

Aurora couldn't help but feel hurt. It wasn't fair to her that Iris had to hide herself in front of her. Aurora lo- liked her so much and she wanted to share her burden. To be there for her. To be her anchor when she was falling apart. The arms she comes back home too.

Aurora also noticed Iris checking her phone excessively. Everytime her phone pinged, her face would become so pale, that you would think she is anemic. She was great at hiding how she felt, but Rory noticed everything.

She has been trying to catch her attention so many times, but Iris would just look the other way. She could see the torment in her eyes. She wanted to heal her, and make her feel treasured only if she would let her in.

Deciding that enough was enough, she decided to corner her in the supply closet, where she was spending unproportinate amount of time in. So when she saw Iris go into the supply closet for the third time, she entered and locked the door behind her.

"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE DAMMIT." Aurora stilled, feeling that the words were directed towards her but when she turned the corner she saw Iris hanging up her phone.

"Adara?"

"Rory? What are you doing here??" Iris asked, schooling her expression into a perfect mask, so that it didn't look her world was falling apart.

"We need to talk about us."

"Talk about what? I am golden and everything is totally normal!! What's wrong with you?" Iris rushed, her eyes searching for a way out, but there weren't any escaping for her while Rory grilled her.

"Me?? What's the matter with you?? I am not the one avoiding my girlfriend."

"I have been busy with the workload." Iris said as she looked away.

"Do you think I am that oblivious? Do you think I can't see though you? See the pain, the sadness and the guilt? The fears and demons that haunt you? Do you thing that I am that blind?" Aurora implored.

Iris just looked the other way, feeling way too exposed. She didn't like to be scrutinized and psycho-analysed all the time.

"Adara, I care for you. I want to help you. Please. Just please open up." Aurora pleaded.

"Maybe I don't want your help."

"What?!"

"You heard me. Maybe I don't want to be fixed. I am not a project Aurora that needs fixing!!" Iris said in a cold voice. Iris was getting really angry. Why does everyone she meet think that she needs fixing? Wasn't she enough? Wasn't being herself enough?

"Why do you feel the incessant need to try and mend the broken ends? I am not perfect and I know but am I not enough? Isn't me being myself not enough??"

"Yes you are enough and more-" Aurora tried to reason but she was interrupted.

"Why did you start dating me?"

"Because I like the way you are funny, smart, empathetic and kind." She said without hesitation.

"Then just accept me for those reasons, no?! I have my baggage and we all do. Just because you resolved yours doesn't mean that I am ready to let it go. NEWS FLASH! I am damaged goods, Aurora. And there is nothing that can change that. I have learnt to coexist with it and I am doing just fine."

"But I don't want you to bear that burden-"

"Alone?? C'mon Rory, quit being so naive. I have been doing that since the last 15 years, and I am here, aren't I? Not every infection is meant to be poked and prodded. Some heal slowly and gradually. Somethings are just meant to be left how they are!!"

Aurora was also getting angry. She knew Iris was lashing out but that damn well didn't give her the license to spew shit and treat her in a crappy way. "Naive?? Me?? Bitch please. It's you who is the naive one who thinks that if you close your eyes and turn the other way, your problems will vanish magically."

"Stop with the 'holier than thou' attitude. You don't even know the hell I have gone through-"

"So TELL ME! ENLIGHTEN ME! Is it really that hard to open up to me? Have I not been anything but open to you? Adara tell me." Tears of frustration began to pool around Aurora's eyes.

"Yes...you have been." Iris sighed.

"Then why? Why with all the walls? Who has hurt you so bad that it changed you so much?" She reached for Iris, to hold her and keep her protected from all the evils of the world.

But Iris just stepped away from her. Aurora felt a pang in her chest, from the distance between them. "No Rory...you don't understand. The truth is like a can of worms. Sometimes it's better to not know the truth than know it and deal with the consequences." Iris spoke lowly.

Aurora felt another pang in her chest. She smoothened her shirt and looked up with a cool gaze. "Very well. I am gonna go before we say anything we regret. You want space, and I will respect that. Good day." She turned around and walked out.

Iris just stood there stunned. She had done it again. Pushed the person who gave a damn about her.

What the fuck had she done?

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

"Mr. Grayson Alejandro requested for parole and he has been granted that because of good behaviour. He will be a free man by tomorrow." Thomas Mendez, Iris' lawyer spoke on the phone.

Iris' blood ran cold and she couldn't breathe. She moved into the first empty room, which turned out be an examination room. "Can't we do anything else to keep him in there?" Iris pleaded.

"I am trying but it won't help. I am so sorry Iris. I suggest you get a restraining order against your father."

"He is NOT my father. He is a monster. And, I-I already have it. But I know him. He promised me that the moment he gets out he is going to come for me. What do I do Thomas?! I am terrified."

"Relax. I won't let him get to you. We can apply for Protection from abus-"

"No. That's just a bullshit piece of paper. My mom had it and I had it but still did it stop him?? NO. Just, Thomas please, try and do something about this. He already messaged me thrice last week, and called me up once. I am half in mind to skip country and change my name to Sandy."

"Now that would be interesting..."

"THOMAS!! Focus."

Thomas chuckled. "Yeah, yeah I am kidding. But, not a serious note, I am not gonna disappoint you. If he even takes a shit in the wrong way, I will throw his ass in jail. Gotta go now, Luz is picking up a brick again."

"Yeah, bye." Iris chuckled but as she hung up the phone, the anxiety started creeping in. She was just going to leave the room when her phone rang again. It was an unknown number.

"Yes, Dr. Everette speaking."

"Oh so formal, mija." Iris' blood chilled to the bone. She could not formulate a sentence. She thought she won't have to see or hear his voice for another two years.

No, no, no... This can't be happening.

Gathering all her strength she responded in a cool and curt voice. "Grayson."

"What, you won't call me papá or daddy? Tsk tsk, you have been naughty."

"Shut the fuck up asshole. By law, I could throw you into a holding cell for stalking."

"Someone needs to get punished." He sang.

"What. Do. You. Want?" She said with a restrained voice.

"Is 'loving father reconnecting with my daughter after ten years' a valid reason?"

She scoffed. "No. 'Cause if you really loved me or mom, you would use kind gestures, not fists on a fucking ten year old for SIX consecutive years!!" She shouted, spiralling out of control.

All the playfulness was gone from his voice. "Do you remember the oath that I swore before you ruined my life?"

Iris remembered it. Crystal clear. It would always haunt her irrespective of how much she had dwelled in this false sense of security. He was gonna come out one day, and the day he did he was going to come after her.

"Listen mija, and listen good. I am going to come for you, oh yes I will. I will take away all the good things in your life, all your friends, dreams, lovers and burn them right in front of your eyes. And then after that,

I. Will. KILL. YOU.

It's a promise. So, see you soon sweetheart.... Because daddy's home." And with that, he cut the phone.

Iris lowered the phone, tremors going up her hand. They were so violent, that the phone dropped out of her clutches. She could feel beads of perspiration accumulate on her forehead. Her palms were clammy and it felt as if something had lodged itself in her throat, making it difficult to breath. Her chest squeezed and she hunched over, wheezing. Eyes wide with shock, she realised that she was going into a panic attack.

She tried focusing on her breathing but the more she tried, the shorter her breath became. Clutching her chest, she staggered backwards hitting a surgical tray, scattering everything on the floor. The loud crash made her body go into a frenzy. She clutched the examination bed, but she slipped and came to rest on the floor.

Wheezing, she curled up on the cold floor. This is it. Adios world...

"Rookie. ROOKIE." Ethan ran up to the curled resident on the floor. He held her face in his hands. Iris thrashed. "No, no, NO... GO AWAY!!"

"Iris! IRIS!! DAMMIT LOOK AT ME. It's me, Ethan. Your friend. Your brother."

"Huh??" Iris continued to claw on the floor curling into a ball.

He held her hands and squeezed. "Iris you have battled worse things before and I know you can do it again. Take deep breaths." He took and placed her hands on his chest. "Follow my breathing pattern."

In. Out. In. Out.

Her breathing slowed down, but the attack was still going strong.

"Now repeat after me. Three things can't be hidden- the sun, the moon, the truth."

Taking a mouthful of air, she wheezed out after him. "Three things can't be hidden- the sun, the moon, the truth."

"Again." Ethan said as he wrapped his arms around her, tightly and started rocking her back and forth.

Listening to Ethan's velvety and baritone voice, feeling his heartbeat on her back Iris slowly receded from the edge. When she could finally make coherent words and it didn't feel like her lungs were getting crushed by the weight of her past, she turned towards Ethan with a amused smile. "Brother huh?"

"Shut up." Ethan grimaced.

"The big diagnostician thinks of me, a poor resident as his sister. Wow, who would have thought, huh?"

"Yeah after the day you bluntly rejected me, I see you as nothing more than family."

"Oh yaaa. You were making these wierd eyes and I was like- 'with all due respect, I am like wayyy to gay dude'." Iris giggled. Ethan grimaced, feeling embarassed. A moment of silence passed before Iris spoke up.

"Remember when I told you that I have a restraining order against someone?" Ethan nodded.

"Well, the time has come for it to be put into force." Iris breathed out. Ethan just gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Okay..I will inform security. Did you tell Aurora about it?"

Iris sighed. "No...we had a fight."

"See Everette. I am not good with all these feelings bs, but she is your girlfriend. And you should not feel the need to hide such thing. I can clearly see, she wants to help. Why not let her?"

"Because I am scared that if she sees the ugly parts, she might run away. She might not like what she sees. I don't want to loose her..."

"But, is hiding it helping either of you?"

Iris sighed. "No its not."

I have one gif to summarise what's coming up

Let me know what you think!! Also like and reblog :))

[hecohansen31]

I know my request is a bit particular but I would love it if you could write a Roman Godfrey x chubby/imposing reader like I’m average height (5’5/5’6) but I’m not tiny I have broad shoulders and rolls and some people already told me I have a rugbyman’s morphology and it’s really not the best compliment 🤣 it can go whatever way you want it to go, smut fluff angst everything is fine with me 🖤

(A/N): Hello sweetie!

First of all… can I just say that you honestly sound so attractive?! 

Like I literally WISHED I had broad shoulders, because mine are tiny and I look like a child… and I hate it… like I honestly would like to be more “imposing” (and I mean that in the best way), because I am tiny and… I don’t mind it, but people are like “hey shortass”, like no don’t do it.

(And I am sure that you don’t look like a “rugbyman”… I am sure you are gorgeous).

… and people should honestly shut up, because everyone is pretty!

But after this… I really hope you’ll like it, and I won’t disappoint you… I didn’t put too much into it, because I didn’t want it to be too heavy, alongside it being too depressing and trigger something… but if you want something different… just let me know and I’ll change it!

(Also I was thinking, if I managed to catch a breath… would you like to do ship on my blog?).

WARNINGS:  A bit of self-esteem and insecure reader!

You had accepted to go out with your friends that night just so that you could have a nice night out, but right when you had been pushed into the club, you couldn’t help but realize that your “peaceful night” was completely ruined.

You tried to have a bit of fun with the girls on the dancefloor, but you couldn’t stand the constant intromission of boys in your group, attracted by your friends’ lithe bodies.

You had realized a long time ago that you didn’t own the same body of your friends, and at first it hadn’t bothered you and it didn’t bother you right now, but some place between your adolescence and your young adult period, it had been something that made you insecure.

You still didn’t feel comfortable and knew that some people didn’t find it to their liking (but at the same time: you were supposed to be the only one who liked your body, the only opinion which mattered, so…) but you didn’t give it too much thought… usually…

…till your friends were crowded in the dancefloor by a band of hungry men, and you were suddenly pushed back, left alone and left away from that true fun.

You tried your best to stay positive, thinking that it wasn’t the end of the world and your friends would be soon back to you, still you couldn’t help but feel a bit left out by the entire situation.

You sat down, immediately being covered by your friends’ bags, since you were going to probably be standing guard for them, meanwhile they danced around, and you thought that meanwhile you did this, you could at least have a nice drink, ordering one to a waiter that run around the tables, in the club.

Quickly you ordered, and even more quickly a drink was put in front of you, something you hadn’t ordered, much more expensive from the elegant crystal glass it was in and you could only believe that it was excellent champagne by the way the little bubbles on the surface didn’t stop after it was set down in front of you.

“I… I didn’t order it” you tried to mumble, sure that if you didn’t reject it now, it might be added in your tab and your monthly salary wouldn’t absolutely cover it.

“The gentleman in the third table to your left did” and he nodded towards this gentleman “… he said that such a pretty girl needed a drink to get her smile back”.

But you didn’t listen further to the waiter, when you met the mystery man’s eyes, a pair of forest green eyes were staring with a smirking glint into yours, searching for much more than you were willing to share, and you immediately retracted yourself almost knocking the expensive champagne glass.

“Are you sure he meant me?” you asked, meanwhile you looked down at your hands, feeling his gaze insist on you, but you couldn’t help but feel like there was some kind of mistake in this: men like him, definitely too gorgeous to be human, didn’t buy drinks to girl like you.

“He said the girl at the ninth table, which is yours, miss” the waiter replied, meanwhile he eyed the number shining due to fairylights on the table “… if it doesn’t appease you, miss, I can take it back”.

Which would appear extremely rude and honestly… it didn’t happen each day that a wickedly gorgeous man offered you a drink, maybe a bit hazed by the dark lights of the club and its high music.

So, why shouldn’t you take advantage of it?

You thanked the waiter and asked him to give your thanks also to the strange man, just raising towards his direction your glass, to “cheer” with him, who smirked gently and raised his own drink towards your, smirking darkly ang gulping down the ambery liquid he had in his glass, meanwhile you slowly sipped the champagne glass.

You were halfway through finishing your glass, when you felt a shadow on your side and when you turned around slightly, expecting it to be one of your friends, probably tired by dancing and the attention of drooling men…

… but you were met again with those forest eyes.

He was leaning onto a leg, looking at you expectantly and you couldn’t help but blush under the intensity of that pretty gaze, half wanting to drink way the rest of your drink in an attempt to gain some liquid confidence, and half wanting to run away.

But you were painfully stuck there, with no clue of what to do.

They should write instruction manual on how to act around hot guys.

“I hope I am not interrupting nothing, but…” he gently moved closer to you “… I just saw this amazingly beautiful woman all alone, and I couldn’t help but believe it was such a shame”.

You smiled shyly and gently nodded, thinking that the most obvious and educated reply could be to thank him for the drink which you did, not meeting his eyes even for a second.

“Do you mind if I make you company for a bit?” he gently raised your chin, the sudden contact surprising you extremely and you couldn’t help but shiver under the silky feelings of hands that hadn’t worked much “… I sadly am myself alone, and I do believe that the company of a wonderful woman might make me feel a lot better”.

You couldn’t help but answer curtly without a too thought answer, mostly because you couldn’t help but feel like you were under his spell, those pretty eyes charming you into silence and adoration.

He sat down in front of you and you followed him, with your eyes, noticing the graceful ways he settled into the chair, ordering quickly something to the waiter, gesturing gently to you and asking what you would be having.

At your simple answer of water, he crooked his eyebrow disapprovingly and you couldn’t help but change the ordination to something a bit more lively, meanwhile Roman insisted that the waiter put it on his tab.

When you tried to protest, he shot down everything with an annoyed glare.

“… let me at least reward you with a drink for keeping me company tonight” he mumbled, meanwhile he pushed himself closer to you over the little glass table that separated us, and you were grateful that you had your chair under you, because your legs were trembling both because of uneasiness and nervousness.

“I don’t think that I am actually a good company” you replied shyly, gently caressing the brink of your glass, getting a soft laugh from the mystery man.

“Well… I haven’t been the most gracious host ever… I didn’t even present myself” and he gently held out his hand which you took without a second thought, curious and aching to feel those beautiful hands again “… I am Roman, by the way”.

Roman was an unusual but you honestly couldn’t picture where you had previously heard it.

“(Y/N)” you replied, curtly and he sneaked a kiss to your hand, swiftly bringing it to his mouth, which made you blush even more.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, (Y/N)” he grinned, and then moved back, leaving you to try to breath normally again “… to more important matters: do you have a boyfriend you are here with or…?”.

You honestly felt like even the mention of a boyfriend wouldn’t have stopped him to pursue you with that sly smirk that hit each right spot between your legs, making you clutch them closer.

“It’s just me…” and then you gave a subtle nod to where the dancefloor was settled and where your friends were still having fun “… and my girls”.

You low key expected him to leave you unceremoniously to pursue your friends, since you came to the realization that he might have used you as a way to get to the real thing.

But he surprised even further, turning his back, unimpressed to you, swiftly giving you all the attention.

“So, I won’t have to fight any big burly man, for your hand, my lady?” he joked and you were halfway through spitting the rest of the champagne you had drowned meanwhile he had looked at your friend.

“Definitely not” you had giggled, strangely feeling relaxed and flattered by his total attention, alongside his obvious infectious charm; if he liked you, you might get along with it.

You had already lost your dignity, and you were getting free drinks from it, and a nice boost to your self-confidence, why not play along with it?

You relaxed a bit and were able to get a nice conversation with Roman, who you couldn’t help but find even more interesting with the way he spoke, clearly thinking that you were an equal to him and didn’t put stupid pick-up lines into his discourse, although his tone was definitely flirty.

What had seemed like an annoying night, became immediately better and when your friends came in you couldn’t help but feel like you didn’t want to go, asking and pleading with them for more minutes with the charming man, who seemed of the same opinion as hers.

But good things never last and you were soon ushered out by your chanting friends, realizing too late that you had forgotten to ask for more info from the mystery man, a bit sad that you wouldn’t be able to find him.

But he did the job for you: the following day a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a deep red dress were found at your door, alongside a little note, asking her for a date, the following night, signed Roman Godfrey.

Well… weren’t you in big trouble?

[residentanchor]

*chanting, banging my fists on the table* Patton angst! Patton angst! Patton angst! Torture the cinnamon roll! Patton angst! Patton angst! Patton ang—

I think the only Patton angst thing I have planned is my Halloween story I’m trying to finish up for tomorrow. And even then, it’s not too angsty.

[shesadramaqueen]

I Got You; Roger Taylor x F!Reader

Requested by: @ange-must-die

Hi!! I have this idea of Roger meeting reader's family. The reader's father isn't very supportive, he says Rog's going to hurt her/him, so it's a tense situation. He doesn't approve their lifestyle (maybe the reader is related to the music industry as well). A little angst but fluff in the end??? Idk if it's okay, it's cliche af maybe. I'm not the best expressing my ideas. Thanks, love ya💛

Summary: Bringing your boyfriend home was surely something hard for everyone. But the thought of your dad, to whom you hadn’t talked in a very long time and was completely against yours and Roger’s lifestyle, had you feeling more nervous than you should be.

Context: This is based on the late 70's/early 80's, when Queen already was pretty popular and known worldwide.

Word count: 5.8 K

Warnings: swearing, angst

A/N: Wow!! Me, actually finishing this request? Did pigs start flying? In all seriousness, I’m so sorry for taking so long, I’m a mess omg. I lowkey based it in my family so I hope that's alright too? I hope you like this because that’s the only thing that I need after taking such a long time jsjs love ya xx

Permanent taglist: @turkey-bacon-for-queen, @haikyuumanga 

Your hands were covered in sweat when Roger turned the street corner and drived inside the familiar neighbourhood where you had grown up in, the only thing breaking the heavy air that had settled in the car was the faint music that came out of the radio. But not even the sound managed to calm down your thoughts.

It was the first time you brought your boyfriend Roger home, and you honestly didn’t think you’d be this nervous. It wasn’t that you didn’t love your family, it’s just that it was quite chaotic, and your mum had decided to make this a big event and bring in the entire family, which wasn’t exactly small. But you didn’t expect nothing else from your mother, being how she is.

You swore you heard her soul ascend to heaven when you told her you were bringing Roger for them to meet him.

“When are you coming back home, Y/N? Do you even remember where we live?” you chuckled slightly at your mum’s dramatism and you rolled your eyes at her, even if she couldn't see.

“Don’t be so dramatic, mum! It hasn’t been that long.”

“Well it feels like it! Knowing you’ve just been going around the world, living the dream...” she trailed off when your dad made a comment about that, which you didn’t quite hear but knew it wasn’t a good one, noting that your mum went silent.

You loved your dad, or at least you tried to. He was a humble, hard-working man that had done and would do anything for his family. But he was very closed minded.

When you had told him you were going to record your first album, he completely hit the ceiling. He told you you were waisiting your life and that people only succeeded in that industry out of luck, so it was a fact that you would end up achieving nothing and left on the streets begging for food.

You were quite used to dealing with your father’s temper, so you tried not to take what he said by heart, and instead tried to convince him otherwise. You told him you were actually getting recognition inside the music industry, as you’d done quite some gigs and collaborations for around a year and a half, and you were growing rather quickly. And you really thought that giving your dad facts and proof that you weren’t throwing away your life would convince him. You really wanted to believe that.

But what that caused was for him to freak out more, to tell you how bad of a child you were for holding secrets and how you were tearing your life appart and wasting the potential you had.

You flinched slightly at the still burning memory. That discussion ended up badly. You both were shouting back and forth, saying the most mean things that came to mind to hurt one another. Tears staining your and your mother's cheeks, who was trying to keep things calm.

The tension was so bad you ended up staying at a friend's house.

And when you came back a few days later, your dad acted as if nothing happened. He treated you like always, but he ignored everything you said the moment you started talking about your upcoming and promising career.

He didn't listen to your album. He changed the station when you finally appeared on the radio. He didn't even go to see you on your first tour or any others that came after. He changed subjects whenever one of his colleages or even family members brought your job up.

At first it had hurt you, but you had come to accept it and deal with it and knew that there wasn't a way you could change anything, as you had already tried.

Your dad loved you, but not everything that came with your being.

Roger, of course, knew everything about him and your family, and he was absolutely terrified. 

He wanted to make a good impression, he wanted them to accept him so bad. But because he was Roger, he hid his feelings to appear strong and calm, but you knew him too much to know the way his knuckles whited from gripping the steering wheel too hard were from the anxiety he had inside.

You had also talked to him and warned him to control his temper. He's someone who flies off the handle rather easily, and your family was rather... stressful, to put it nicely. There was always banter, both good and bad, and discussions were always happening.

"Roger Meadows Taylor, if you throw one of your tantarums, I fucking swear ..." you started with a warning voice which made him chuckle slightly.

"Me? What are you talking about? I'm a dear! Calmest person you'll ever meet" he said with a cheeky smile.

"Oh, yeah?" You quircked your eyebrows. "Tell that to the television you threw out the window the other day. Shall I remind you it's the second one this month?" you threw your hands in the air dramatically.

He pecked your cheek lovingly. "I will behave, love, don't worry" he said giving you a wink.

You looked at him from the corner of your eye and bit the inside of your cheek anxiously. You weren't really worried about what your family would think or say, as you were sure they’d love him, but about your dad. 

What would he say when he had to confront your boyfriend, one of the most famous drummers from one of the most important bands ever? Your dad was also a hot-headed person, and you could feel the sparks fly between them bothnalready. You noticeably shuddered, but you tried to pass it off rubbing your arms, as if you were cold.

The only thing that was truly keeping you sane and not climbing up the walls, was that Roger promised he would behave maturely, and he was a man of his word.

Your thoughts died out when you saw your house appear on the highway.

“That’s the one” you managed to gather your voice and pointed Roger the house. He pulled in the driveway and turned off the engine, but none of you moved from your seats.

Only when Roger took one of your hands, you noticed how hard you had them both clenched.

“It’ll be alright, ‘kay love?” he said softly while rubbing circles on the back of your hand, and you sighed while running your other hand through your hair.

“Yeah I know... I know it’ll be” you looked at him and you couldn’t help a loving smile cross your lips. He looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing in the world, and you were to him. 

“I love you” you murmured, brushing one of his cheeks with the back of your free hand, and he leaned in your touch like a kitten would.

“I love you too, Y/N” he said before getting close and leaving a kiss against your forehead. He then let go of you and got out of the car.

You stepped out as well and you breathed in sharply when a cold breeze hit your face. You rushed to reunite next to Roger and you both marched to the entrance, arms linked together. You could already hear the banter coming from inside the house and you felt yourself buzz with a mix of excitement and nervousness.

“Ready, Freddie?” he jokingly said with a faint smile, and you chuckled.

“Shut up, idiot” he kissed your cheek quickly just before you rang the doorbell. After just 3 seconds of waiting, the door jerked compltely open, showing your mum on the other side with the most happy expression.

“Y/N!” she exclaimed and hugged you tightly, making you laugh. “My long lost child” she said and kissed your cheek repitedly while you tried to squirm out of her bear-like embrace. 

“Mum, you literally call me almost every day!” she pulled away and gasped when she set her eyes on the man next to you, which made you roll yours with a big grin. “You must be Roger!”

“E-eh, yeah! Tha-” he didn’t get to finish his sentence before your mum pulled him in into a hug as well. You chuckled softly at Roger’s puzzeled look he shot at you, and you nodded your head so he would hug your mother back.

“Well, come in! You’ll freeze off to death out there!” she said and rushed you both inside.

A wave of familiarity hit you when you entered the house and saw all the family running around, getting everything ready, swinging between kitchen and living room, and it made the knot in your stomach ease.

You smiled sweetly when you looked at your boyfriend and saw his eyes, both wide and filled with light. He didn't come from a big family, so he wasn't used to all the clutter and noise that constantly hanged around, but he seemed excited about it.

"Hello!" You exclaimed loudly when you entered the living room, and immediately all the attention of all the people that were there shuffled to both of you.

"Y/N!!" You heard a chant and immediately your body was tackled by two smaller ones.

"Hey guys! I missed you so much" you said while you wrapped your arms around your nephew and your niece.

“That’s not true!” Jack complained.

“Yeah, if you did you would have come to visit us.” Ashley chimed in with a pout.

You chuckled and got down in one knee. “Alright... what if I make it up to you with front row tickets for one of my concerts?” their eyes immediately lit up.

“YES!” they exclaimed at the same time, jumping on you and making all three of you fall on the floor, which made you burst in laughter.

Not until you opened your eyes, you saw Roger standing above you and looking down at you with the most loving expression that made you blush slightly.

“Hey kids,” you shook them off of you and got up “this is Roger, my boyfriend”.

The kids stared at Roger intently for one second before gasping.

“WAIT, you’re Roger as in-” Jack started.

“Roger Taylor, the drummer and back vocalist of Queen!” Ashley squaled and finished his brother’s sentence.

Roger smiled kindly. “Yes, that’s me. Finally recognized for my vocals!” he said before ruffling her hair.

“These are Jack and Ashley, twins and the only nephews I have yet.”

“Well, its very nice to meet both of you” he shook their hands, making the kids look at them mesmerized after he touched them.

“Why didn′t you tell us that your boyfriend was part of one of the most famous bands in history?” the little girl whined.

“Yeah I can't believe you would betray us like that.” Jack stomped his foot into the floor and huffed.

You put your hands up. “Okay guys, stop being so dramatic! Why is everyone like this in this family, am I the only normal one?” you said with you eyes open wide and Roger laughed at your statement.

"Oi!" You exclaimed, offended. "It's true, I am normal!"

"Sure thing, honey" he playfully smiled before kissing your cheek, and you stared at him with daggers in your eyes.

“C'mon kids, that’s enough. Stop bothering Y/N” you looked up and gasped loudly at the sight of your sister, rushing to go hug her.

“Amanda! how are you? Geez it’s been such a long time.” You closed your eyes and breathed in her comforting smell.

“It hasn't been that long, twat” you could feel her rolling her eyes at you. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine, but most importantly, how are YOU doing?” you said pulling away and grabbing her shoulders.

“I’m doing better, finally got through the constant throwing up phase” she put a hand on her belly instinctively and you gave Roger a fond and excited look before introducing both of them.

“Dear, this is my sister, who doesn’t seem to remember that she’s human and not a rabbit.” This earned a snort from Roger.

“That’s rude and inappropriate, Y/N” she exclaimed but couldn’t help smiling.

You continued completely ignoring her. “And this is Roger, but you probably already know enough about him, knowing how those two tiny monsters talk about him”.

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t get me started. They only talk about music and bands and touring the world,” she side-smiled. “They’re like you.”

You smiled and looked down, feeling a bit ashamed. You had alway bothered your sister when you were young with the exact same stuff while she always tried to study and be producitve.

“Nice to meet you” Rog said and shook her hand warmly. 

After this it was introduction after introduction: your aunts, your uncles, your grandparents, your brother in law... and after all of the rounds were done, it was time to help cook or chat or clean whatever mess was made. 

The banter was all around and you didn’t notice the one thing that was missing. You were too focused in how your boyfriend blended perfectly with your family, despite it being quite different from what he was used to, and in how all your family had grown fond of him by the first words they’d exchanged with him. 

When everything was ready, your mum started ringing a bell while exclaming “Time for lunch!”

While you all got up and gathered around, you couldn't help to lean into your significant other and whisper “Where the hell did she get that bell from?”

“You tell me, she’s your mum!” he said while trying to hold in laughter, but his face went completely blank when he looked behind you. You turned around, confused.

Your dad stood in front of you now, tall, brows furrowed as always and looking critically around the room. “Hey, dad” you said, your moth dry with surprise.

“Good afternoon, Y/N.” he said nodding and not showing much affection. You felt cold, it had been long since you last had felt the indifference of your dad.

Before anyone could say anything, Roger stepped next to you and offered a hand to him.

“Good afteroon, Mr. Y/L/N. I’m Roger Taylor, your daughters partner”.

Your dad paused and steadily looked at him and his hand, before scoffing and walking away to sit down, completely ignoring him.

The blond one let his hand fall in astonishment and you put yours on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry baby, it’s alright ” you murmured before kissing his cheek softly and leading him to the table to sit next to you and as far away as you could from your father.

Your family, of course, was aware of what was going on between you both, and at the beggining of the meal there was an uncomfortable silence. Eventually though, as time passed and wine ruled, the mood transformed into the usual one that was around in family meetings.

If Roger was taken aback when he first stepped through the door, now it was next level. It was almost as loud as a rock concert; everyone was practically screaming instead of talking normally, laughing ostentatiously and knocking stuff over from time to time, at which everyone cheered if it was a glass of wine that spilled.

"It's good luck, Roger!" Your grandma laughed when he saw your boyfriend's confused but amused expression.

For you, this was the normal scenario, but for him this was like being in a soap opera. And, in a way, it was. Still, you could see in his eyes how much he loved it, how fascinated he was and how he'd love to be a part of it more frequently.

Lunch had been amazing so far and all of your worries went away. You really did think your day could end without any drama.

But it was towards the end of the meal, when the mood was more relaxed and the alcohol was a bit on everyone's head, when something had to go wrong.

“So...” you turned around and held your breath when you heard your cousin, that cousin, speak. He always managed to mess everything up, and you silently prayed that this was the only time he didn't. You grabbed Roger’s hand from under the table, trying to ease the uneasy feeling that had set in your stomach. “What do you do for a living, Roger?”

All the table went quiet at the question and your shoulders dropped while a single thought crossed your mind.

'Fuck'

“I’m... I’m a drummer” he quietly said before locking eyes with you with slight panic on his face, while your cousin just looked completely clueless.

You heard a snort coming from the other side of the table and you snapped your head only to see your father shaking his, a huge mocking smile on his face.

“Have any problems with that, dad?” you could sense the sudden tension that fell in the room, so heavy you could feel it pinning you on the floor.

He could mess with you all he wanted, but there was a line, and Roger was it.

“With your little boyfriend being one of those loser musicians that will end up ruining their lifes? No, not at all” he said, not looking up. You saw the blond one tense up next to you, but he kept his face neutral.

“Why do you always have to have your head up your butt?” you said in a dangerous tone, at which his eyebrows quircked up and his smile disappeared as he looked at you.

Roger squeezed your hand, trying to calm you down, but you weren’t having any of it.

“Why is it that it always has to be your way? Why does only your opinion matter? Why is it that you think that you’re always right and others are wrong?” Your words came out of your mouth like pure fire, opening old wounds up.

“I am right” he said crossing his arms. “I’m always right.” He looked at Roger with complete disgust before adding “he’s going to hurt you”.

You scoffed the same way as he did and got rid of Roger’s persistent grip.

“Oh, yeah? You’re always right? Were you right when you put me down so bad I had to leave home because I couldn’t stand it? Were you right when you completely ignored who I was and pretended I was who you wanted me to be? Were you right when you made me feel like an actual piece of crap because your brainless head couldn’t stand the simple fact that I'm a bloody musician?” Tears started forming in your eyes, your words getting louder and louder. 

Your father stood up, face completely red in anger. “You better have some respect! I am your father!” he exclaimed, spitting everywhere as he spoke and hitting the table to intimiate you. But you stood up as well.

“I’m not going to respect you when you don’t respect me!” you shouted back, your voice cracking and your tears falling. “I’m not gonna respect you when you treated me like shit just because I didn’t do what you wanted to because, guess what? I’m not here to fucking please you! I can do whatever I want with my life and if I want to ruin it, it’s my fucking problem! You say that Roger will hurt me, but no one ever, ever, has hurt me more than you have.” You didn’t know if what you were yelling was making sense anymore, your mind felt too numb with pain to function properly. “And if this is what means you being my father, I rather don’t have one”.

You paused, breathing deeply. Only then you noticed all eyes were on you and suddenly you grew conscious of all that had happened. Without knowing how else to react, you stormed out of the room, not being able to stand it anymore.

Roger stood up, slowly.

“You have no right to treat her like that” he said with a low tone. “You can’t just talk to her like that, like she’s nothing worthy just because she’s not whatever stupid thing you wanted to.” Your dad opened his mouth as in to say something, but was shut up by Roger’s finger pointing at him “You, sir, are a complete, utter dick. I don't care if because of this I will always be hated by this family, but I'm not gonna stand back and stay quiet while someone I love is being crushed to pieces, because that's what happening. Probably you haven’t noticed, having your head so up your own arse and no-one having the balls to disrespect you," he bowed ironically "the dictator. But that's what's happening.” he paused for a second. “Music is what makes her happy, what makes her wake up every day with a smile, what makes her eyes shine like the sun and what she works the hardest on. It's her passion, she was made for making music. She is music. And no one can't take that away from her, and certainly, not you" he walked towards the hallway, but said one last thing before disappearing. "This is it. It's your last chance before she claims that you're a nobody to her, before you become someone she despises for trying to stop her from living her life."

And with that, he went to find you.

You were laying on your bed, curled up and sobbing.

You were glad you said all of that. It was what you had been thinking for years, after all, and it took a lot of pressure off of you. But it had been substituted for another one: the question that if your father was gonna love you for who you were or if everything would be over.

You chest clenched in pain and a loud sob escaped your throat, hot tears coming from your eyes and staining the bedsheets.

You didn't want to do it, didn't want to reach that extreme, but you couldn't live with the thought of your dad shaming you for who you were. You couldn't stand the disappointed glances and the constant tension. It hurt you deeply, but you knew that if he didn't change his mindset, you would have to cut clean all relation with him in order to be completely happy.

You heard a soft knock on the door and you shut yourself up in a vain attempt of trying to make whoever was in the other side, think you weren't in your room. A slight creaking noise broke the silence.

"Go away!" You cried out and covered your head with your arms, trying to disappear.

"Love..." you heard his soft voice and your head instantly perked up.

"Roger?" You half-whispered, your voice not coming out clean and cutting half way through the word.

He closed the door behind him and rushed to sit by you on the bed. He cupped your face but you looked down, knowing you looked like a mess. Tears started to blurry your view once again, feeling overwhelmed and you closed your eyes tight. You heard him breath in deep before speaking up.

"I got you, Y/N" he simply said, letting all the air in his lungs go, and when you looked at him, he had the most loving eyes, but they were also full of sadness from seeing you like that.

That sight is all it took you to throw yourself into him, wrapping your arms around his neck and hiding your face in the crook of that one.

He embraced you quickly, setting one arm around your waist, his other hand coming to your hair, which he played with in a reassuring way while you cried your heart out. Your body was shaking vigorously at first, but as you grew calmer, it only shook with the eventual hiccup.

Through all of this, Roger kept whispering loving things in your ear, his raspy voice sending shivers down your spine.

When you felt recomposed enough, you slowly broke the hug and looked at him.

"Hi" he said with a dorky smile on his face, his eyes dropping from your eyes to your lips, which made you chuckle softly.

"Hey" you said, a faint blush painting your cheeks and you looked down in embarrassment. He always made butterflies appear in your stomach.

He slowly approached your face but stopped mere miliemeters before touching your lips, silently asking for permission. You cupped his face and kissed him passionately, feeling a wave of love hug you warmly, and you smiled against his lips.

But suddenly, he did the unthinkable. His hands attacked your sides, and you gasped hard, breaking the kiss and falling into the bed, erupting into a fit of laughter.

"Stop!" You managed to say in between laughs, but it sounded more like a wheeze than a word. "Roger!"

"Alright, alright!" He said putting his hands up and looking at you innocently, which made you roll your eyes.

He laid down next to you and kissed your cheek before wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer, making you lay your head on his chest. You put your arm around his waist and you sighed deeply.

"I fucked up big time" you announced with a comic tone in your voice.

"Naaah" he said with an exaggerated face that made you giggle. "You were alright." A second of silence fell before he spoke again. "I did fuck up though".

You incorporated and supported yourself on one of your elbows. "Roger, what did you do?" You said looking down at him with a raised eyebrow and your mum voice. He looked away, avoiding your gaze

"Well..." He started. " Remember when I promised that I would behave...?" He trailed off and he stared into your eyes with a nervous smile.

You smaked his chest and he let out a dramatic "ow!"

"You are un-fucking-believable" you said but you couldn't hide your smile from your face.

"Maybe, but you still love me" he said with a cheeky smile and you smaked him again. "Stop!"

You rolled your eyes and laid on top of him, your chin on his chest. He put his arm under his head in order to see your face better.

"So, what did you do? Did you throw a tantarum? Please tell me you didn't break any plates, it's a family heritage".

"Oi, who do you think I am, now? I may be hot-headed, but I'm a civilized adult!" He exclaimed with an offended expression.

"Says the guy who locked himself in a cupboard" you said while you drew circles with your fingers on his shirt. "That doesn't sound like something an adult would do, you know".

He smirked. "I got what I wanted, though." You laughed softly. "But, uh, I may or may have not pointed the finger at your dad while insulting him".

"You did what now?" Your mouth fell open and your eyes went wide.

"Yeah... also I called him a dictator and bowed." You looked at him in the eyes for a second before wheezing.

"And you're supposed to be an adult?"

"I was angry okay! I couldn't just sit there doing nothing when you were getting hurt. I don't care if your family depises me now, I'm glad I stood up for you." You could feel your eyes turn into literal hearts while he said those words.

"Aww, Roger..." you patted his chest softly before adding "You do care".

"Yeah, no shit, I'm terrified, like what if they don't want to see me ever again?" He covered his face with his hands and let his head fall back. "Why do I always do this?"

You grinned while you put his hands away. "Shush, they love you wholeheartedly." You started pampering his face with little kisses, making him giggle and wrap his arms tight around your waist.

You both froze when you heard a powerful yet hesitant knock. "Y/N? Can we talk privately?" Your dad's voice filled the room.

You felt Roger tense up underneath you, and you put a hand on top of his chest to calm him down. "I'll be fine, Rog" you murmured at him and he nodded slowly.

You pecked his lips one more time before getting up and opening the door, biting your lip in anxiety.

In the other side there was your dad, standing awkwardly in the doorway. He was wearing an expression you couldn’t quite read, which made you much more nervous. You closed the door behind you and crossed your arms. “So?” you said with a neutral voice.

“Let’s better go outside” you nodded and started leading the way towards the backyard, wanting the chat to be over already. You didn’t even pick a jacket even if you knew it was freezing.

You shuddered when the cold air hit you but you tried to keep a straight face.

“Y/N, I...” he started but trailed off.

“Yes?” you snapped. You weren’t having any of that anymore. You were tired of it.

“I... I’m sorry. I’ve been, as your boyfriend has said, an utter dick.” You tried not to snort at the comment. Roger was so gonna get in trouble later.

“He has a name, you know” you said coldy, to which he looked away from your eyes, embarrassed. This made you break your posture a little bit, seeing your father the most vulnerable he’s ever been in front of you, but didn’t give in quite yet.

“Sorry for what exactly, dad? For ignoring who I was or for making me feel like shit? Or maybe for insulting someone I love for doing nothing?” you raised an eyebrow, expectant for what he’d say.

“For everything. I had no right to do this to you, but I was so focused on my pride and what I thought was best for you that I didn’t take what you thought into consideration. I’m sorry” he said and you could hear he was being completely sincere, and your defensive posture dropped.

You pressed your lips together. “Why did you do it?” you asked with a weak voice.

“I...” he sighed loudly “You know how my childhood was” he said and you looked at him. “We barely had any money to eat, and studying was something of dreams. It was only work and work and work in deplorable conditions. So you, having opportunities and being able to study whatever thing you wished for, you, not having had to get your hands dirty and break your back to eat, you, decide to be a musician” he closed his eyes and breathed in sharply before continuing. “And only few of them get to be someone imporant and actually live off it. I didn’t want you to suffer like I did, so I just completely closed my eyes to the reality.” He opened his eyes and looked at you with a small smile. “Which is that my daughter is mad talented, and she's going places. She's gonna be big”.

You chuckled while tears welled up again.

“Have I really hurt you that much?” he said, and the pain that was in his eyes and voice was too much to bear, so you looked at your shoes instead as you shrugged.

“Kinda. It’s pretty sucky to know that your father doesn’t accept you and love you for who you are.” You kicked a stone next to your foot. “But the dentist hurt me much more when he took that teeth out.” You heard him chuckle and your heart felt a bit lighter.

He slowly approached you and hugged you. You hesitated for a moment, but you hugged him back and melted into his embrace. Only then you noticed it had been years since you had showed any affection to each other, and only then you noticed how much you missed his love. 

When you separated, you saw his nose was red and his eyes were teary, but decided not to comment on it and passed it off as it was the cold.

“I really am sorry” he said once again. 

“It’s fine dad. As long as you start changing how things have gone between us for quite a while now, I’ll forgive you. And also you have to come to my next show.” 

“Of couse.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Now let’s get inside before we freeze our asses off” he said leading you in.

Once you both headed into the living room, you saw eveyone sitting down, expectant at what was going on.

“We fixed it” you announced with a small smile, and the children broke into cheering, while the adults sighed in relief and smiled to one another. Except your clueless cousin, who still didn’t know what was happening.

Roger approached you both cautiously.

“Hey, Mr. Y/L/N...” he started, furrowing his brows, but your dad cut him with his hand.

“I’m sorry, Roger. You were right with everything you said and I’m glad you said it. I think you’re a worthy partner for Y/N, and I really hope you don’t prove me wrong.” This time it was your dad who pointed the finger at Roger, who put his arms up in surrender.

“Never, sir.” He didn’t know if your father was serious or not, but he chuckled nervously when your dad bursted out laughing at his scared puppy expression. 

He dropped his arms from your shoulders and kissed your cheek. “I love you, Y/N”.

You smiled brightly. “I love you too, dad” you said back, and he smiled before going to talk with your mum, who awaited him with crossed arms and severe expression.

When he was far enough, Roger picked you up and spoon you around, making you squeal. When he put you down, he pressed a chaste kiss agasint your forehead. “So, it's all good?”

You smiled and wrapped your arms behind his neck and his encountered your waist. “It is, yeah. Thank you so much for everything, Roger”.

“No problem! Let me know whenever you need me to break a promise!” he said smiling brightly and you dropped your head back and laughed.

“But don’t think this is over. You called my dad an ‘utter dick’.“ With a devilish smile you leaned into his ear and whispered “and there will be consequences”.

He gulped and bit his lower lip nervously. “There won’t be if you’re not able to do anything.” You furrowed your brows.

“What does that even m-ROGER TAYLOR I HATE YOU” he started tickling you once again, making your knees weak and you fell into the floor, dragging him on top of you.

Jack and Ashley came and towered on top of you both, giggling uncontrollably. 

Happy tears were rolling down your face, and even though you were barely able to breath, it was long since you had felt that lightweight.

You finally felt trurly happy.

[whirlybirbs]

part of me is like “god hope’s blog was a safe haven where I could just pretend infinity war never happened” but another part of me is just chanting ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANG

i’ll be tagging anything related to the swifter DUSTer incident as:

tw: the snap !

[artnerd1123]

*chanting softly* angst angst angst angst ang-

[astrozones]

Random Romangst: What’s an Ever After? (1/2)

Graphic Descriptions of Self Harm, Self Hatred, and Crying.

Summary: Roman "Princey" Sanders was not okay, and he wasn't entirely sure he ever had been. What with all the insults, being the butt of jokes, the hate from the fandom, the hidden hate from other sides, who could blame him for feeling this way? Maybe one day he'd be better. Feel better. Be more loved.But that day was not today.

Yeah, triggering content ahead. Proceed with caution.

Discord!: Astro’s Zone

Sobs wracked his body as he curled up on the floor, head shoved between his knees and chest. He whimpered, a long, low sound as he tried not to make too much noise in the dead of night.

Roman “Princey” Sanders wasn’t okay, and he hadn’t been for a long, long while. 

Yet the pain that came with every night cried asleep never got old. And it hurt, it hurt as he tried to breathe in slowly, the air passing through the weight in his chest, making him ever so aware of its presence, sending him spiraling back into the depression.

The tears flew down his cheeks gracefully, and at this point he wasn’t entirely certain he wasn’t going to flood the room with salty water.

He pounded the floor, the dull pain distracting himself from his thoughts momentarily. He did it again, and again, and again, until Roman saw a drop of blood stain the hardwood floor.

He gasped, stilling his movement. This is all going too fast.

Really, he didn’t know why he was overreacting so much. It was the same kind of day as normal.

“Maybe quiet down a bit, kiddo,” Patton had said. It stung, but not any more than it usually did.

“Arrogant, much?” Virgil had muttered when Roman had promised them that his latest project was going to be the best ever! All other creations would bow down when passing this one! Typical behavior from Roman, and typical behavior from Virgil, why did it hurt him so?

And when Logan said, “your work is subpar,” Roman didn’t even bat an eye, why was he crying over it hours later?

Deceit had hissed, “great job, Roman, you did brilliantly,” Roman had played off the lie like he always did, treating it as though it was a genuine compliment, even while his brain chanted ‘liar, liar, liar’.

Remus only did his typical thing, hitting him over the head with no warning, dashing in a handful of emotional pain along with the physical. His head still ached, but his heart hurt more.

When he faced the mirror and told himself he was worthless, idiotic, cruel, and unjust, he hadn’t said anything new.

Surely by this point he should be used to the scorn? To the side comments, the glares, and the insults? Yet every night arrived the same, with Roman crying himself to sleep on the bedroom floor. He was weak, and a coward, and he knew it from the bottom of his heart.

His hand shot up to cover his mouth as he heard footsteps coming down the hall. Who was up at this hour..?

“Roman?” A soft, groggy voice asked. The light from the hallway shifted, the beams coming through under the door. It was Virgil. “Are you awake? Thought I heard something…” 

Roman shrunk into himself more, hiding his face in his knees as a low whimper escaped. It was quiet, just enough so that, after a few long moments, Virgil muttered “Must be imagining things…” before walking back down the hall. Roman punched himself in the head. Idiot, what are you doing?! Don’t wake everybody up just because you decided to act like a little baby!

The feelings, the bad, horrible feelings, started long ago. Roman couldn’t remember an exact age, but years ago, maybe at age 7 or 8, Thomas had shown a friend his newest work of art, and, after asking his friend to answer honestly, had been told that it wasn’t very good. At all. And for the first time Roman felt… lonely. He had been there with Patton and Logan but he hadn’t felt more alone and empty in his then-short life.

Those feelings only grew over time. While Thomas showed his work to his friends less and less, Roman lied more and more. He hesitated more, hid away all of his ideas until he deemed them perfect to share with Thomas and the other Sides. And his standards for perfect only got higher and higher. 

Roman started feeling better during Thomas’ vine days. They allowed Thomas to create a different kind of creative content, in short, 6-second bursts. People loved them. And they hated them. After all, with that kind of a following, haters were pouring in from every hole they could get through. Roman tried not to let it affect him. He failed.

A character based off of him appeared in those vines. Logan and Patton, too. And once, even Anxiety. All of them seemed to be met with open arms.

Then, oh then, Thomas started Sanders Sides, and it was the single most best and worst idea Roman ever had.

The first episodes were pretty great, of course, and Roman started feeling truly accepted, even if all the fans didn’t like him. 

Virgil appeared in one of the videos. Roman was brought in, and one of the first things he was told was ‘I hope and dream to get rid of my anxiety’, and what was Roman supposed to do with that? Go against his host?

Roman knew that he went too far. He understood that, now. But everyone blamed him for it all. That sounded selfish, he didn’t want the blame of Thomas, he just… wanted to stop hurting.

Except he didn’t know how he had gone too far. He said some mean things, and used a couple nicknames, but those weren’t Earth-shattering, were they?

Sure, he and Virgil were on okay terms now, but that didn’t change what he did. That didn’t overrule the taunting, the insults, the nicknames swapped back and forth between the two. A little voice in his head told him that it wasn’t entirely his fault. Virgil had done the same in return. He ignored it.

Roman opened his eyes- when had he closed them?- to look at the ceiling- when had he laid down?- and sighed. The stinging pain on his hand was the only thing stopping him from completely withering away into despair. He should probably bandage it, but he didn’t even have the motivation to get up off the floor.

He lifted his head up off the floor before letting it fall down again with a hard thunk-! He groaned, but not in pain. Physical pain, anyway. 

Creating was hard. You have to know so many different variables, so many different ways of doing all sorts of things. It was so much, and often so daunting that he didn’t even know where to start. On top of that, he embodied Thomas’ hopes, dreams, ego, passion, and his romantic side. Then people like Logan had the audacity to say he wasn’t doing enough-!

Because you aren’t, Roman.

Shut up, voice in his head.

He let his tears drip, drip, drip onto the floor, creating a puddle around his head. He groaned in emotional anguish, closing his eyes and curling up into a ball. His shoulder was being soaked in his tears, but Roman found he couldn’t care less as he cried himself to sleep on his bedroom floor. 

--

Roman woke, awkwardly peeling himself off the floor. Gross, his pyjama shirt was stiff from drip-up tears. He lifted a hand to his face, and- yup, it was on his face, too. He sighed. 

He ignored the pain in his neck as he stretched. He probably deserved it, anyway. Yawning, he walked towards his bed before collapsing. 

If he was right, soon- yup. The bad feelings were already returning, crushing his neutrality like a bug. His breathing picked up, and before he knew it he was hyperventilating again.

He should really get a glass of water, what with all this crying. To do that, though, he’d have to stop crying, lest someone actually notice his suffering. He didn’t want to plague their thoughts with his- his stupid neediness. 

With a huff, Roman decided that if he was going to get through this day without breaking down in front of the others, he needed to do something he would regret. Only because it was hard to hide at times.

He conjured up a razor, already wincing at the thought of the others finding out. But he needed it, he needed the stinging pain along his arms, it distracted him from the thousands of thoughts running around his mind at all times. 

He gasped suddenly, looking down to where he had already drawn 3 thin lines. He hadn’t even noticed…

He watched the beads of blood flow down before snapping himself out of his trance and grabbing a paper towel, tearing a strip off to wrap around the cuts before continuing. 

An unhealthy coping mechanism, but a coping mechanism all the same.

He finished wrapping bandages around his left arm before starting on the right. He’s gotta make sure that absolutely none of the other sides will know what he’s done, or else-!

The door opened.

“Roman!” Patton half-sung, peeking in through the doorway. “Just wanted to tell yo-!”

They stared at each other, Roman’s mind racing to come up with an excuse. Patton stood shock-still, not even blinking as he gaped.

And then he screamed.

[cure-the-plague]

**chanting**

ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGS

ANGSTY AREA 49-35

- (sorry for the late night tag) -

@extratedustrial @festive035

[fiive-second-cookies]

*chants* angst angst angst angst ang-

So today in my theatre class, we were learning about method acting. Basically, I spent an hour watching people cry as they acted out the scenes like “your dog of 7 years just died” or they improvised based on actual experiences like “my parents got divorced and now I have to move away” or “you said you would never leave, but you’re leaving me already”, and it was honestly really sad and angsty.

But all of them just got really sad and cried. I, personally, thought of another approach the whole time. I think in quite a few of the situations, I would have started out sad and crying, but then I would have gotten angry. I’m very anxious so I didn’t get up to act, but I spent the whole time imagining myself up there crying, and then, like a flip is switched, getting so angry that shit was going wrong, and letting out an agonizing scream. For example, “*crying* w-what do you m-mean... they’re d-dead? N-no! They can’t be.. dead. They c-can’t be dead. *that imaginary switch is flipped* NO! T-THEY CAN’T BE DEAD. THEY AREN’T DEAD, IT’S NOT TRUE! N-NO! *screams in agony and painful disbelief*”

(I promise I have a relevant reason for telling this story!)

I’m hoping I explained that well? Either way, that made me think of that happening to the Sides. My brain specifically chose Virgil, or maybe Patton, but I could honestly see any of them. So, if anyone wants to write a super angsty fic where any of the Sides are so upset and devastated that they cry, and then reach the point of total denial that they end up screaming, please do so, and tag me so I can read it.

OR (THIS IDEA JUST POPPED INTO MY HEAD AND ITS MUCH LESS ANGSTY SO I KINDA LIKE IT BETTER)

A fic where Roman is doing method acting, and gets so invested in it, to the point where he lets out a blood-curdling scream of agony because his character is so upset, and the other Sides were watching, and they just kinda... tear up because wtf Ro that was so heartbreakingly believable. And they are Shook because Roman was so dedicated and it hurt to see him look in so much pain.

[el-dritchknight]

The Price of Love [a Grecinto ficlet]

Titulo: The Price of Love

Fandom: Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral / Bayaniserye

Ship: Goyo/Ilyong (Grecinto)

Summary: Ilyong sees Goyo after the Battle of Kakarong de Sili.

Notes: Inspired by twitter user @1ganiiii’s cute art... na ginawa kong angst lmao. beta-read by @waltangina <3

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16488104

Ilyong’s breath catches in his throat when he sees him.

The bane of Ilyong’s existence stands a few feet away, looking worse for wear. White gauze covers his forehead, where a bullet reportedly grazed him — Ilyong winces, a hand flying to his own temple as if he could feel the phantom pain brought upon by a gunshot.

He himself hadn’t been shot in that area, but he’s seen too many soldiers shot dead through the head.

At times, war and death seemed to be synonymous.

Since he joined the Katipunan in 1894, Iyong knew it would not be easy. He knew what he had entered, he knew what was at stake — freedom, independence, love of the country — and he was prepared to pay the price for it.

He wasn’t as prepared to see the people he cared about paying the same price.

“Goyo!” He’s running towards him before he can stop himself.

“Ilyong,” the taller boy breathes out. Ilyong gets a split-second chance to see that look of amazement on Goyo’s stupid face before he captures him in a fierce embrace.

The side of Ilyong’s cheek brushes against rough fabric of Goyo’s uniform as he presses himself tightly to Goyo. Goyo’s arms wrap themselves around Ilyong’s waist, a firm, comforting anchor that ties Ilyong down to the physical world away from the abstraction of his worries and fears.

“Sabik mo na ba akong makita?” Goyo’s chest rumbles with a bemused chuckle.

“Tangina mo,” Ilyong mutters without heat. Buhay ka, buhay ka, buhay ka, Ilyong’s mind chants almost in sync with the way Goyo’s heart beats a steady rhythm that only Ilyong’s ears are privy to. Buhay ka.

One of Goyo’s hands reaches him to softly stroke Ilyong’s hair. No words are spoken, they don’t need it.

Locked in an embrace that speak of desperation, relief and love, Ilyong and Goyo understand each other perfectly.

Buhay tayo…

At lalaban pa rin.