insecure soap whose insecurities don't stem from a place of inadequacy
he knows how talented he is, how hard he’s worked to get where he is; that he didn’t land a spot on an exclusive highly skilled taskforce for no reason. he's confident about his skills; doesn't brag or show off, doesn't need to because he knows he'll always live up to and surpass expectations the second someone doubts him
but he also knows he can always be better
there's records left unbroken, mental walls he can shatter; if he just keeps pushing, keeps training he'll be more. he's always trying to beat himself, not in search of validation or outward assurance but because he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that his yesterday self was lesser
slower
weaker
every muscle that burns and tears heals stronger so he dedicates himself to ripping them apart. scarred skin doesn't flinch from heat so he welcomes the burns. he’s strict with his diet and stricter with his schedule, he spends hours in the gym and longer at the range and not a minute of rest goes by without him thinking it’s time wasted when he could be improving, always improving
soap knows he's good
because he knows he can be great
and he won't stop until he is, no matter how many times he needs to break himself to get there
There is a special kind of brazenness in stating that transmascs are coming out of being viewed as the 'property class' to argue that transfems have it worse.
its always "oh ur hair is so pretty long never cut it" and never "oh let me remove all the hair from ur drain" or "let me be ur sugar daddy i can offer all the money for your shampoo and hair products"
The most confusing shit is when I see someone post something like “oh I wish I could date my celebrity crush” or “my life so horrible I wish I could do this and that blah blah..” or “maybe in another universe” but then you open a comment section and see someone recommending reality shifting and that person being like “oh I tried it once and it didn’t work so it not real”
LIKE YOU KNOW ABOUT THE ULTIMATE CHEAT CODE TO LIFE AND BECAUSE IT DIDN’T WORK THE FIRST TIME YOU GAVE UP?
Guys. What the fuck was even that.. class of 09 flipside felt so out of place..its like the creator saw that the people who like the first two games find the sorta messed jokes and messed up situations amusing so he thought itd be totally cool to showcase his totally not even hidden fetishes or something. Overall, it was severely disappointing and felt like some weird, unrelated to class of 09 franchise, fetish game..
The whole game felt so uncomfortable, like i didnt find any scene funny, the game put jecka through pure hell, she was either getting yelled at by her dad and threatened or exploited by other people.
Nicole also felt so not like herself. Like yeah shes a sociopath, but she wouldnt go out of her way in the previous games to put jecka in harms way, from what i remember. Makes me wonder if Nicole being cruel to Jecka for turning to s€x work was because in the previous game Nicole had to turn to it too, because she got kicked out and jecka didnt let her live with her and said that she couldnt imagine herself or Nicole doing that and how gross it was.. was it like some old grudge she was secretly holding against Jecka and Jecka turning to s€x work set it off? But it still doesnt explain why she was THAT cruel and also, almost framing Jecka in Jefferies death..
In my opinion, this whole game was cruel. Almost felt like it was fetishising Jeckas pain.
oh don’t mind me, I just broke my own heart by realising jean moreau is the same age as my younger brother is and that did not in any way affect my mental wellbeing or anything.