#-_-. ship: millions spades

[ssozo]

you are the ocean / and i'm good at drowning

here he is! the finalized design for my trigun stampede self insert, malachi. he uses he/him pronouns. have some fun facts about him below the cut!

as you can probably guess, he's an independent plant who can produce clean drinking water. he can control the pressure and movements of the water, which allows him to wield it as a weapon as well

he was born about... 75 or so years after the initial crash onto nomans land? his town's plant malfunctioned and he was the result.

he was kinda seen as a protector and living god which totally didnt go to his head at all are you kidding me /j

his town ends up destroyed after the plant twins have. a confrontation there. and he swears to hunt down and destroy millions knives for it.

he joins vash and the others very temporarily as an ally, but that doesn't last long as he thinks vash's pacifism streak is kinda annoying, and he tends to talk down to the others which makes them mad as well

he is punching knives in the mouth. with his mouth.

[halloween-neko96]

Butterfly Choices 🦋

[One Piece - Different Strawhat Pirates AU]

A little flap of a butterfly created millions of changes.

In which, a slightly different Luffy in a slightly different world picked up a slightly different crew.

Story Masterlist

Romance Dawn Arc

Prologue - Romance Dawn

Entry I - III

to be continued…

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57578383/chapters/146507632

AU Exploration

SPOILER WARNING: The next part includes multiple spoilers for the recent arcs.

ASL Brothers (who wasn’t even brothers in this)

The backstories for the ASL Brothers are similar to The Ocean Where The Stars Follow You 💫 where Roger entrusted his son to Rayleigh instead of Garp.

Silver D. Ace | Gol D. Ace

A famous Bounty Hunter on Sabaody, well-known as 'Ace of Spades'. He was raised by Silver Rayleigh and Shakky. Ace was loved and knew he was loved. The boy ran wild on the Sabaody, recking havoc here and there. It was lucky for the Marines that he hadn't run into any Celestial Dragon yet because he would definitely punch one.

Sabo

The Chief of Staff of the Revolutionary Army, famous with the name 'Flame Emperor'. He set sail as 10 from Dawn Island and got shot down by a Celestial Dragon. Dragon and the Revolutionary Army recused him and he chose to stay with them. Sabo didn't lose his memory but there was nothing worth remembering about his life back in Goa Kingdom. He found his place in the Revolutionary Army. (The one with the Mera Mera no mi from the start was Sabo)

Monkey D. Luffy

The Captain of the famous Straw Hat Pirates. He grew up a tad more lonely but was still loved. Garp didn't drop him at Dadan so Luffy spent more time in Foosha Village, helping Makino with her bar. He eventually ventured up the mountain, met Dadan, and reached the Grey Terminal. He set sail at 17 and the boy had been a chaos gremlin since then, bringing all sorts of changes to the water of the Grand Line.

Ace & Sabo

Sabo knew quite a lot about the famous Bounty Hunter Ace of Spades. It came with the job. He found Ace's chaotic behavior funny. He also assumed that Ace was the son of Rayleigh and Shakky.

Ace only knew a thing or two about the mysterious 'Flame Emperor' of the Revolutionary Army. But the guy sounded fun in his opinion.

Ace & Luffy

Ace and Luffy knew about each other through Deuce. Ace also heard quite a lot about Luffy from Shanks. Ace thought Luffy sounded annoyingly endearing while Luffy thought Ace was a cool guy.

Sabo & Luffy

Sabo was shocked upon learning that his boss, his savior, Dragon had a son who was living on the same island as he did. He was a bit jealous of Luffy for having Dragon's unconditional love while Sabo's birth parents... When Luffy's first bounty was out, Sabo noticed his old goggles hanging around Luffy's neck. So he laughed and laughed and wished that they had met back on Dawn Island.

Luffy was there when Sabo got blown up. He picked up the top hat and the goggles. Years later, Luffy found a treasure stash with a diary of a boy named Sabo, the same name stitched on the hat.

ASL Meeting

The three of them had a brief meeting when Luffy arrived at Sabaody. Later, Ace spent a lot of time sulking while Rayleigh trained Luffy. Sabo took a liking to Luffy when they met again in Dressrosa. Sabo and Ace annoyed each other when they ran into the other on Sabaody.

Straw Hat Pirates

Except for Luffy as the Captain, the rest of the Straw Hat Pirates include members different from Canon. They are all loyal to Luffy the same.

Koby

Firstmate and Navigator of the Straw Hat, 'Treasure Hunter' Koby.

His story started similar to canon where he accidentally got himself on Alvida's pirate ship. However, after a year, he got recused by a bounty hunter who was actually Nojiko. He tried to help her buy back her village by gathering treasure. That was how he started his journey as a treasure hunter. After a while, seeking treasure and money had become a habit to him. He loved the sea and wished to travel to every corner of the world.

Koby was the first member Luffy invited. But he officially joined after the fall of Arlong Park. He fought with a staff, and he and Luffy trained against each other sometimes.

Shimotsuki Washi | Shimotsuki Kuina

Swordman of the Straw Hat, Washi of the 'White Blade'.

The swordsman who aimed to be the Greatest, carrying his promise to his childhood friend and a white sword sounds similar right? However, Washi's story carried more than that. He set sail not only to challenge Mihawk but also to find his missing childhood friend, Roronoa Zoro. Wandering on the sea for a while, he gained a reputation as a bounty hunter.

Washi was the second member Luffy invited and technically the first member to join. He used one sword style but could also use more than one sword in combat.

Washi's body turned into a female once he got drenched in seawater and turned back into a male once he got dry. It got him into conflict with Pudding as she didn't know how to treat him. This strange phenomenon is actually related to Washi's backstory involving Ivankov's Devil Fruit and the missing case of Zoro.

Kaya

Doctor of the Straw Hat, 'Praying Angel' Kaya.

The young lady who chose to study to become a doctor instead of inheriting her family business immediately accepted the invitation of a young pirate and set sail with them. She wanted to travel around the world and study every plant out there to use them for medical. She also set sail with the hope of meeting her friend, Usopp on the sea.

Kaya was the third member Luffy invited. Along with her was their first ship, Going Merry. She had accidentally eaten the Hito Hito no mi, Mythical Type, Model: Tenshi as a child but she didn't realize it until she fell into the sea and almost drowned. Her Devil Fruit allowed her to cast boosts and buffs on people via praying. She also could transform into a humanoid figure with wings and a glowing halo but she only learned it after the 2 years Timeskip.

Charlotte Pudding

Chef of the Straw Hat, 'Sweets Taster' Pudding.

A young chef who hid their heritage and dreamed of finding All Blue did ring a bell, right? She was a chef who worked at the sea restaurant, Baratie. She loved women, wouldn't hesitate to kick a man, and loved cooking overall.

Pudding was the fourth member Luffy invited who also was the last member of the East Blue gang. She fought with her legs, taking after Zeff's combat style.

Pudding used to hide her third eye but after a while, she was comfortable enough with the crew to share it. She also got frustrated with Washi due to him sometimes turning into a woman, making her confused about how to treat him.

Similar to Sanji's 'Vinsmoke' storyline, Pudding was forced to be involved in a wedding-turn-assassination where her full name was revealed.

Deuce

Novelist and Informant of the Straw Hat, 'Masked' Deuce.

A young man who abandoned his old name, and his medical studies to follow his passion for writing and become a novelist or a journalist rather. He wished to write and publish the best story ever. He was the pen pal of Luffy whom he met as a child when Luffy was traveling with the Red Hair Pirates for a bit.

Deuce was the one who immediately invited himself to Luffy's ship once they met at Whisky Peak. He was a swordsman with fierce swordsmanship. After 2 years of Timeskip, he got a new unique sword that could light itself on fire.

Before meeting up with Luffy again, Deuce was a journalist for Big News Morgan. That was how he got himself into the Grand Line. Deuce got his new name via Ace whom he met at Sabaody.

Wednesday Lily | Nefertari D. Vivi

Assasin and Strategist of the Straw Hat, 'Miss Devil' Wednesday Lily.

The Princess of Alabasta chose to continue on her journey with the Straw Hat crew after they defeated Crocodile. Luckily for her, someone in the Marines mistook her name for Lily instead of Vivi and took her codename Miss Wednesday as her last name. Vivi adapted and used it as her new name instead.

Vivi wasn't exactly a combatant, especially one-on-one. However, she was incredibly clever and usually ran a background plan while the rest of the crew fought forward. She had a pair of dangers coated in poisons that were made by her and Kaya's combined knowledge.

There was the whole thing in Enies Lobby where the CP9 tried to kidnap Vivi under the Government-slash-Imu's order. You can figure out how that went.

Rami | Trafalgar D. Water Lammy

Historian of the Straw Hat, 'Snow White' Rami.

A girl in her mid-20s with pale white skin and black hair, looking like the famous princess Snow White from an old fairy tale. She wished to undercover the truth history of the world.

Rami joined the Straw Hat along with her partner, Cain after Luffy defeated Enel on the Sky Island, Skypedia. She had eaten the Logia Devil Fruit, the Kumo Kumo no mi, allowing her to turn into a cloud. Due to living on Skypedia for quite a time, her cloud can mimic Sky Island's cloudland and white sea.

Rami's true name was Trafalgar D. Water Lammy, younger sister of Law. She was saved by Cain who spent 10 years treating her Amber Lead while she stayed asleep for those 10 years. The leftover side effect of her sickness was her pale white skin. Her black hair was just dyed, a call back to her older brother.

Cain | Punk-07

Scientist of the Straw Hat, 'Apple Biter' Cain.

A young-looking boy with a mind that was way older than he looked. He had white hair, golden star eyes, and dark skin. He was a scientist who would never stop pursuing science. However, his most important goal was to keep Rami alive and save.

Cain joined the Straw Hat, following Rami. At the start, he wasn't really that loyal to Luffy but over time, he grew to attach and appreciated them. He seemed to have a huge amount of knowledge that one shouldn't have. He had a lot of inventions and could create new things on hand. His favorite weapons were apple bombs with multiple effects.

Cain was actually a Vegapunk's Clone from another timeline where Lammy survived instead of Law and was the user of the Ope Ope no mi. The Lammy from that timeline saved Cain who was created by Lilith after Egghead's Incident. She also performed the Perpetual Youth Surgery on him. Cain in the old timeline eventually managed to time travel and arrived at this timeline. He saved Rami as a way to thank her and eventually grew very attached to her.

Uta

Musician of the Straw Hat, 'Singing Puppeteer' Uta.

The adopted daughter of Red-Haired Shanks who used to be a musician of Red Hair Pirates. She dreamed of becoming a famous singer. When the Red Hair Pirates left Dawn Island, she promised to join Luffy's crew one day once they met again.

Three years before Luffy set sail, Uta got turned into a toy by Sugar, leaving her stuck at Dressrosa while no one remembered her. After Sugar was defeated, Uta also got free. She officially joined the Straw Hat after they defeated Doflamingo.

Uta was the user of the Uta Uta no mi.

Marco

Watcher and Assistant Doctor of the Straw Hat, Marco 'The Phoenix'.

The former 1st Division Commander of the Whitebeard Pirates. He was in a position similar to Yamato in canon where Luffy promised him a place on his ship if he ever felt like being a pirate again.

Marco eventually joined the Straw Hat.

Fate of Original Straw Hat Pirates

What are the canon members of the Straw Hat Pirates up to?

Roronoa Zoro

Zoro was the missing childhood friend whom Washi/Kuina set sail to find. They also had a promise to become the Greatest Swordsmen in the world. So where was Zoro?

The story went back to the night when the Revolutionary Army docked at the Shimotsuki Village. Kuina upon witnessing Ivankov's power, begged them to change her into a boy. Meanwhile, Zoro had a conversation with Kuma which led to Kuma sending Zoro away. The destination was Mihawk's castle.

Zoro had a habit of wandering around so after the first few days, no one in the dojo noticed his absence while Kuina had her mind full of adjusting to her new male body. When someone finally noticed, the Revolutionary Army already left so there was no one telling them about where Zoro was. They all assumed he went missing.

Zoro arrived at Mihawk's castle where he was found by another resident of it, the Ghost Princess, Perona. But Zoro's arrival wasn't without a cost. He lost his memory except for his name. Perona patched him up while waiting for Mihawk to go back home.

When Mihawk finally got back, he reluctantly accepted the boy due to Perona's persistent begging and Zoro's own condition. At least, Zoro was interested in swords, unlike Perona. In the end, Mihawk's tiny family grew a little bit.

(Listen, I loved the Goth Family.)

Mihawk was like a teacher and a father figure to Zoro while Perona was his annoying older sister.

Until one day, Perona went missing so Zoro went to look for her. It was Kuma that sent Perona to Gekko Moria's ship. Perona met the Straw Hat when they were there. Zoro also was there and he almost met them, met Washi. But Kuma arrived and sent both of them back to Mihawk's place. He also left Zoro with a few confusing words.

Nami

Nami's fate is currently undecided. When we finally get to know more about her origin, I will adapt more.

Whatever the fate of Nami right now, she wasn't the adopted daughter of Bellemere nor the adopted sister of Nojiko. She wasn't on the battlefield that day.

In the meantime, just imaging Nami living on Weatheria.

Usopp

Usopp was a childhood friend of Kaya whom she hoped to meet again one day. So where was he?

Let's go back to the beginning of the story. Like in canon, Usopp's mother, Banchina fell ill. Due to Kaya's devil fruit power, her illness got postponed for a bit. Long enough for them to get a better doctor to help her. Banchina got better. But the near-death experience made her quite scared so she did something. She sent a letter to Yasopp and this led to the Red Hair Pirates arriving at Syrup Island to pick up Banchina and Usopp. They had been on the ship of the Red Hair Pirates since then.

When they spent time on the Red Hair Pirates, Usopp and Uta became something like friends. Usopp was there in Dressross as he planned to meet Kaya when the Straw Hat came to wreck Doflamingo's plan. He was the one who jumped Sugar with Kaya and freed her victims including Uta. Usopp got to reunite with Kaya and then got to reunite with Uta. He also got to meet Luffy whom he got to hear from the Red Hair Pirates.

Vinsmoke Sanji

Since Pudding took Sanji's role, did that mean Sanji was still in Germa? The answer was no! Where was the fun in it!?

Here is what happened instead. Sanji ate the Memo Memo no mi. Sanji erased the memory of him from everyone in Germa. Sanji ran away. Sanji met Law and Corazon. Sanji went with them. Sanji found out about Vergo. Sanji erased Vergo's memory about Corazon being a marine. One thing led to another and they managed to escape Doflamingo's grip! They met Bepo, Penguin, and Shachi. Sadly, they had to part away now. Bepo went with Law and Corazon while Sanji stayed with Penguin and Shachi.

Sanji read about All Blue, finding it fascinating so he wanted to find it. Shachi and Penguin just rolled with it so they sorta became a crew. They couldn't decide who was the captain. They somehow got a submarine and more members. They… became a restaurant on the sea. They accidentally attacked a petty marine captain so now they were pirates. They still were a restaurant.

Sanji and the All Blue(?) Pirates finally traveled into the Grand Line.

Sanji and the crew met the Straw Hat on Sabaody where Sanji had a fun time cooking for Luffy. They were friends now.

At one point during the Straw Hat's 2 years separation, Sanji was captured back by his family due to him messing up and releasing all the memories he stole. And then came the storyline where Sanji and Pudding got set up for marriage by their birth family whom both of them absolutely wanted nothing to do with. Sanji and Pudding quickly got along like a house on fire. Then Luffy came and wrecked the wedding and Big Mom's Tea Party. Shachi and Penguin came along too after they met the Straw Hat again during Dressrosa.

Tony Tony Chopper

The earlier part of Chopper's backstory remained the same until a person stepped foot on Drum Island, the Marine Captain Trafalgar Law.

Anyway, long story short, Wapol was no longer king, and Chopper followed Law. We will get into more of this in Law's part.

Nico Robin

Robin, Robin, Robin! Oh, what was Miss All-Sunday up to?

Following the same storyline in Alabasta, Robin at the end was saved by Luffy. She collapsed afterward, unlike in canon, and was found by the Revolutionary Army.

So we had Robin the ‘Light of the Revolution’.

Like Sabo, she eventually found a place in the Revolutionary Army and became good friends with Koala, Sabo, and Hack.

Robin was there during the aftermath of Enies Lobby. She thanked Luffy for saving her while he asked her if she was happy now. Robin said yes and they smiled at each other. She also apologized to Vivi.

She was also there during Dressrosa.

Franky

Not gonna lie, Franky's part was a tough one to come up with. So I went with the Revolutionary Army's member Franky instead.

Franky's backstory remained the same, sorry Tom. Then Enies Lobby happened and now Franky was wanted too.

Here was where things diverged. Franky met Koala and Robin who currently just joined the Revolutionary Army. They talked and Franky thought that being a Revolutionary didn't sound too bad. So Franky decided to join too!

The new ship for the Straw Hat, the Thousand Sunny was still made by Franky but Cain also involved a lot in the process.

Franky was also there during Dressrosa.

Brook

Where was Brook during all of this? He was going on a tour around the world of course! The man can't leave his fans disappointed.

You see, Brook's shadow didn't get stolen by Moria. Kuma showed at one point and sent him away to the Twin Capes where he got reunited with Laboon. Brook was just a very famous pop star right now. He visited Laboon and Crocus regularly. He was there when the Straw Hat cross the mountain to enter the Grand Line, giving them quite a scare.

Jinbe

To know what Jinbe was doing, we must go back to an important event, the Summit War. The thing is that the War didn't happen at all because joke on you Ace wasn't a pirate.

Here was what happened instead. Ace wasn't captured but Marco was. Jinbe did a 10/10 move to get in the Impel Down like Luffy and Hancock. Jinbe flipped everything once they were on floor 6 and ran away with Marco. Ivankov and the Revolutionary Army just tagged along to get out too. Jinbe was no longer a Warlord but oh well.

So now Jinbe was still the Captain of the Sun Pirates. He allied himself with Luffy after the boy saved the Fishmen Island during the Hody's mess.

Other Expansion

Let's see some other characters and what they were up to.

Yamato

Yamato's story was mostly the same but she didn't get to meet Ace.

Trafalgar D. Water Law

Law's story remained the same up until he and Corazon met Sanji. Due to Sanji, Corazon was alive. After they parted away with Sanji, Penguin, and Shachi, Law with Corazon and Bepo moved away. Sengoku got the wind of them and they got in the marine. Law was not very happy about this at first. Then he started to exploit the resources the Marine gave him.

Law eventually became a Vice Admiral. He didn't plan to become an Admiral, sharing the same idea as Garp.

Bepo and Chopper were with Law.

Law didn't really get along with Smoker.

During Punk Hazard, Law met Luffy and the Straw Hat, seeing the chance to use Luffy for his goal, he proposed an alliance. And Luffy in a leap of insanity, agreed.

After Dressrosa, Law kept his promise as they came after Kaido.

In the meantime, Rami spent a lot of effort to avoid Law.

After Wano, Law also found himself on Egghead with the Marines. Cain and Rami's story was revealed. Long story short, right now, Law was chasing the Straw Hat while Rami ran away from talking to him.

Uncut Scenes

Shimotsuki Washi versus Shimotsuki Ryuuma’s corpse with Zoro's shadow.

Washi landed at Mihawk's castle and found out about Zoro.

Kaya's first time fell aboard, Washi jumped after to fish her out. They found out that Kaya was a Devil Fruit user and that Washi turned into a woman when drenched in seawater.

Washi's first time touched seastone, it had the same effect as seawater.

Robin thanked Luffy for saving her.

Sanji enjoyed preparing a feast for the Straw Hat.

Sanji and Pudding bonded over having shitty birth families.

Ace successfully bought Rayleigh for the first time.

Deuce got his new name from Ace.

Washi upon meeting Tashigi, “A doppelganger!?”. Tashigi upon meeting Washi, “A gender bend doppelganger!?!”.

to be continued…

[heliopauseentertainments]

I wish you would right a fic where...

someone's repeated refusal to approve a key bit of paperwork is either a running gag or a key plot point...

jariktig asked:

"write, apologies, not right"

Don't worry, buddy; it's cool.

As for the premise, I'm pretty sure I've written something already that contains that sort of administrative blockage as a plot point, but I think the approval flow didn't really feature as more than thin pretext for, uh, a more adult piece.

Actually, I do a lot administrative paperwork in my actual career, so I use it frequently as a device (Rodimus making Megatron approve conjunxual licenses in the one Dratchet fic I did because he doesn't want to do it, Rodimus making changes to the approval flow to spite previous aesthetic choices Megatron has made, lack of follow through on repairs post-approval leads to the resolution in The Hollow Man, etc.) but never as the focus. Hm.

How would it look as the focus (and not a pretext for shenanigans)? I wonder.

No warnings apply unless you count dubiously ethical requisitions on discretionary funds.

--

The commlink beeped happily as it finished booting up on Starscream's desk, ready to make any long distance call that the emperor so desired.

Starscream had known, of course, that after taking power, he would need to install some sort of administrative system to keep society... or rather the government running effectively. Millions of years of playing a leading role in the development of the Decepticon command and legal structures wouldn't go to waste.

Even if he had never been a particularly popular figure, outside of the elections, no one could dare to call him "unqualified" for the position of emperor. He had the necessary credentials in spades; even Megatron had agreed back when during the war.

Starscream clenched his jaw as he started entering the frequency to a ship that he really wished he didn't have memorized.

While copying over a lot of the Decepticon legal structures (and swapping out some labels as necessary) had been a useful stopgap measure, merging some of it with the ad hoc policies of Bumblebee's provisional government, rather than trying to build an entirely new system from the ground up, there was... a fatal flaw.

Both the provisional government's codes and the Decepticons' had themselves been built from the ground up, developed as needed and patchworked together. Some components were useless when taken out of their original systems. Specifically the approval bottlenecks formed by both incredibly centralized systems with limited backup approvers.

The commlink hummed as it dialed... connecting... waiting....

The viewscreen mounted in the wall behind the commlink flicked on, showing a stoic Ultra Magnus, the regrettably familiar Lost Light's command office in the background.

"Ah, Your Imperial Majesty, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

And some fool who had worked on importing the approval routing logic had forgotten to replace a certain name in this one side process: reimbursement, requisition, and procurement of any goods using Starscream's personal discretionary funds. Things that would be a rubber stamp approval. "Yes," Starscream replied, sighing in resignation, "Where is Megatron? I need him to approve my requisition for... certain goods." Polish, nominally for guests at his palace. But they were purchased on discretionary funds, after all, so it was no matter. "Again."

[web-novel-polls]

Five Love Languages of Danmei: Pining Bracket

Liushen from The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Characters: Liu Qingge and Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan)

Submission:

Want Desperate Pining for a Long-Ass Time in spades? LQG not only spends ✨five years✨ daily fighting to get SQQ’s body back and lay him to rest, he’s also on full on Be SQQ’s Uber and Return All Fans to him before that little temporary human mortality hiccup for ages before that

Yuesong from Mistakenly Saving the Villain

Characters: Song Qingshi and Yue Wuhuan

Submission:

First, you get Song Qingshi spending 1,350 lifetimes falling in love with and trying over and over again to rescue Yue Wuhuan. (His 1,351st attempt finally succeeds! Yay! Also, *holy shit*.) Then things happen to Song Qingshi, and you get Yue Wuhuan spending 3,000 years waiting for Song Qingshi to reincarnate. And then the lore drops, and you find out that then-newly-ascended-stone Song Qingshi had already been mesmerized by Phoenix-God Yue Wuhuan ten thousand years before the story started. And *then* the background of the universes' worldbuilding is revealed, and you realize that Yue Wuhuan had actually been waiting for Song Qingshi for literally hundreds of millions of years, long before these two ever even had human forms. You want "long-ass time"? Here's your long-ass time.

(And on that note, if you enjoy MXTX books and want to read something that's an unholy mixture of SVSSS and TGCF cranked up to 100000%, please read MisVil.)

Additional Propaganda: Over 20,000 Years

Novel Updates Link

["Anti-Propaganda" that attacks other characters is NOT allowed. Please only give reasons to vote FOR a character/ship.]

[heaven-said]

// "this is the dumbass you're shipping with"

okay but that's the appeal. what if we want gabriel to be an awkward weirdo who chickens out of a smooch?

{{ fdjdkshgds HE'S YOURS you will get that in SPADES here at the awkward angel himbo blog !!! There is a good chance he has not kissed a single being in one million years send help !!!! }}

[peppermint-chocolate-cherries]

My Fanfiction Masterpost

As mentioned in my profile's official pinned post, I write Hetalia fanfiction. I wouldn't say I have the makings of being a professional writer, but I did occasionally write devastatingly good short stories back in school. Having the characters already established makes writing fanfiction so much easier for me, I just have to plug them into situations.

My muse is 100% Canada, primarily with Madeline but Matthew works better in some universes. I ship Canada with multiple Hetalia nations, so in my work you'll find such ships as Ruscan, UkCan, GerCan, PruCan, SpaCan, CanMano, LietCan and CanLiech.

My stories can be found on both Archive Of Our Own and Fanfiction.Net, and my two Valentine ficlets are also on Tumblr. My username was previously 'missycanucks', I only just figured out how to update my account names in August 2024.

My stories are locked on AO3, so you have to log into your account to see anything.

Archive Of Our Own profile | Fanfiction.Net profile

A few of my stories have very high kill counts, so I've made a separate post that lists how many times each Hetalian has been killed off in my story. If you're wary of death in my stories, you can reference that before diving into anything. It does contain a few spoilers, so consider this your warning.

Story summaries and tags below the cut, along with links for the Tumblr ficlets.

ABSORBING THE DECK (2016)

Cardverse AU featuring CanadaxLiechtenstein and USUK. A lot of violence, most Royals get killed off. Heavily reliant on 2015 fandom tropes.

Poor and penniless on the streets, orphans Matthew and Alfred were born with imprints of future Marks on their skins. When they are discovered, the Spade Royals adopt them and prepare them for their future lives as Royals.

As their identities as future Royals could be used as dangerous leverage, the twins are kept away from the other Suits for as long as possible. Their first interactions prove quite safe, while the next proves disastrous.

The Clubs Royals also seem to be up to something suspicious, and there's an old prophecy Ace Antonio and Queen Kiku seem to know something important about.

What could this all mean for the fate of the twins and the Deck?

THE NEFARIOUS MATHILDA JONES (2017-2020)

Human AU with cops vs gangsters vs corporate elites. Multiple Canada ships, but listing them all would cause spoilers. Lots of heavier political and personal themes, so reader discretion is advised, but the story is quite the rollercoaster for those brave enough to read.

A large family corporation called Jones Conglomerates Incorporated controls the government, but the heiress is a criminal on the run. Gilbert Bielschmidt is a police officer who finds himself torn in a million directions by his promise to uphold the law, seeing that JCI makes the laws, handling the mobsters that break the laws, and attempting to hunt down the heiress and her friends before they destroy JCI.

THE ENGLISH QUIXOTE (2021)

Fairytale AU mixed with references to a regular nation AU. Intentionally plays on tropes of several classic fairy tales including Snow White, Snow Queen, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Swan Lake and Frog Prince. Key ships are Lithuaniaxfem!Canada, GermanyxBelarus, SpainxUkraine and RussiaxLiechtenstein.

Arthur went to sleep in his modern London flat, only to wake up in a magical realm far away with alternate versions of the other nations. He quickly learns that he is in the Kingdom of Ixaidel, governed by King Gilbert and Prince Ludwig.

To the west, in the kingdom of Prathage, Prince Alfred and Duke Antonio are resolving a civil war, triggered by the “Ice Princess” who cast the land in an eternal winter five years ago. To the east, Princess Natalya of Stulikya is planning a coup, hoping to reclaim her family’s crown from her wicked sister-in-law.

As the realm’s unexpected Don Quixote caricature, Arthur finds that the misdeeds must be corrected, the spells must be broken, and the kingdoms must be set right before he can finally return to his own world.

ONLY ACES REMAIN (2022-2023)

Another Cardverse AU. Mystery and drama, only one death but it's a key traumatic event. Key ships are SpainxBelarus, CanadaxLiechtenstein and SwitzerlandxHungary, but two of these characters are aromantic.

The Aces have noticed that something is very wrong.

First of all, they realize that they are missing memories from earlier in their time as Royals, including how they came to rule each kingdom with their current colleagues. They then start dreaming of working with an alternate assortment of Royals during a war between Clubs and Spades, and seeing events that feel like genuine memories.

There are also two Joker fellows hopping around in the reflections of mirrors, as well as the soul of a mysterious sorcerer from centuries ago who is stalking them.

As they work through these missing memories and strange dreams, they will recollect the many bad decisions made in the past which led to the magical clusterfuck they are now suffering through, and open wounds they did not realize they were still suffering from.

DAMSEL CAUSING DISTRESS (2024)

Another fairytale AU featuring royalty and magic, deliberately referencing the stories of Rapunzel, Little Mermaid, Hansel & Gretel, and of course all the mythology of the fae kingdoms (though several fae rules are altered for convenience). Key ships are AmericaxBelarus, North ItalyxLiechtenstein, Germanyxfem!Canada and RussiaxHungary.

Prince Alfred doesn't want to marry just any woman in order to take the crown of Aegaimore, he wants to marry for love. His soothsaying Seelie fae cousin loks into the future, and determines that Alfred's true love is locked away in a tower, and she just needs to be rescued.

As he travels across the Eldarin Sea and the Kingdom of Solyra, Alfred’s path crosses with a mermaid who leaves the sea, a young maiden who is escaping her guardian, and a pair of siblings looking for their long-lost little sister.

Meanwhile, the Unseelie fae have their plans for the humans. The Unseelie Prince is planning to marry a human princess, while the Unseelie King plots to change the barriers between the human and fae realms.

At the centre of all of this is the fate of Alfred’s true love. For being a supposed ‘damsel in distress’, she sure is causing a lot of the distress.

DISCOVERED (Valentines 2018)

Tumblr link here!

An Englandxfem!Canada Valentines one-shot! Their secret love affair is exposed at a meeting by Spain, who rigs a bet to determine why Madeline has spent years rejecting everyone else's advances.

AMBER & RUE (Valentines 2020)

Tumblr links: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

A four-part Valentines special featuring Lithuaniaxfem!Canada. Through a series of gifts during the day at the Valentines Day meetings, Madeline learns she has a secret admirer who's ready to reveal himself. Mentioned side ships are GermanyxBelarus and SpainxUkraine.

[eighthdoctor]

"#...enter jaina monsterfucker extraordinaire--" Ok, based on this tag, do you have any headcannons about how cross-racial relationships are viewed in Azeroth? I also don't play the game and only read fanfic, so I'm curious if you have particular headcanons that are/n't what might actually be in the source material. Though Sylvanas might be considered actually "monstrous" by some in a way other races aren't to each other, the question still stands. Jaina/Thrall is also a popular headcanon aswell

(from a comment on @mylordshesacactus's Reunification)

The fundamental problem here is that Azeroth is phenomenally racist, and Warcraft itself is also phenomenally racist. The racism is coming from inside the house. It's baked in. The underlying idea is that race war is a real and inevitable thing and of course these groups will hate each other because they look different, and also the Evil and Uncivilized groups are expressly based on non-European real world people.

Like, in the lore, there's a handful, maybe a dozen, of known mixed-race characters. There's scads and scads of roleplayers who have PCs of every mixing imaginable, but in canon? Like, the ones off the top of my head are (a) Vereesa's children and (b) the result of rape. That's it.

So, Watsonian, we have peoples who are so rabidly hateful that there are extraordinarily few cross-racial relationships, even fewer that are consensual, even though all evidence is that everyone could interbreed (...even if they are, in fact, from space). And the Doylist explanation is that character morphs are hard and the devs are lazy and they would rather write a worldstate where no human has ever fucked a troll than put some effort into it.

The upshot of all of this is that, despite living in a world where there are, commonplace, a dozen humanoid races of varying levels of 'monstrosity', all available evidence is that Azeroth standards of 'monsterfucker" exactly map to American standards, aka, Jaina is a monsterfucker by [checks notes] having sex with Kalec in human form.

Humans don’t have relationships with quel’dorei. They don’t have relationships with dwarves, or with gnomes, or any non-human race. It’s not just human exceptionalism, for once, because there’s also no evidence of any relationships between, say, Darkspear trolls and orcs either.

Meanwhile, Jaina’s canonical relationships are with Mr Compulsory Heterosexuality, and also a dragon. Her primary fanon ships are with an orc (as you mention), a kaldorei, and…Sylvanas. Arthas aside, Jaina…doesn’t express interest in any humans. Simple explanation is that Jaina isn’t really into humans. Humans are boring, humans are easily spooked.

As I write her, Jaina’s got a million kinks, and one of them is she wants a little danger. A little spice. Something more than vanilla in missionary, something with an edge. Something interesting, something novel, Thrall has this in spades—this isn’t necessarily about playing into the violent savage thing but y’all, that size. Holy shit. Pained? Nothing but edges.

So Jaina’s not necessarily, say, into something that’s properly an eldritch abomination or completely non-humanoid—although I’m open to arguments on that front—but I’m very confident she’s after something non-human that would absolutely be called ‘monsterfucking’ by your average human on Azeroth.

(Related: It’s soooooo fucking obvious that not only do the Windrunner sisters have a human fetish, but that it’s not at all common or acceptable in Quel’thalas—even aside from the ‘walked through a portal’ bit, Alleria’s hardly in Quel'thalas after marrying Turalyon, Vereesa lives in Dalaran. There’s extenuating circumstances in both cases—Turaylon’s a dick, Rhonin has tenure in Dalaran—but it sure is interesting that our two human-elf relationships both live(d) with humans and Vereesa doesn’t return to primarily socializing with other quel’dorei until after Rhonin’s death. Then there’s Sylvanas and Nathanos, and I am absolutely not writing that as a ship but it is popularly rumored and it is something on Sylvanas’s end, that Sylvanas is into humans and can’t shake that rumor.)

[an-artist]

Dear Jonathan Joestar,

I am writing to you today to convince you into donating to the SWF's Animal Shelter. I know that times are hard on all of us. But you are close to my father and so I was hoping that you could spare a dollar or two. Any donation would help us protect and care for the stray dogs and stray cats from being cruelly put down. Did you know that 6.7 million dogs are put down year? The SWF Animal division has helped 2 million dogs find their forever home. The SWF Animal Shelter have certified professional vets who charge nothing to treat animals. Even if you cannot spare anything, which we completely understand. Please help us just by spreading the awareness of the importance of spading and neutering pets.

Sincerely, Your great-great-great grandson, Jouta Kujo

Extras:

I like ships but also I mainly wanna make lore but also Ships.

[ssozo]

ough fuck

[brookstonalmanac]

Events 9.6 (after 1940)

1943 – The Monterrey Institute of Technology is founded in Monterrey, Mexico as one of the largest and most influential private universities in Latin America. 1943 – Pennsylvania Railroad's premier train derails at Frankford Junction in Philadelphia, killing 79 people and injuring 117 others. 1944 – World War II: The city of Ypres, Belgium is liberated by Allied forces. 1944 – World War II: Soviet forces capture the city of Tartu, Estonia. 1946 – United States Secretary of State James F. Byrnes announces that the U.S. will follow a policy of economic reconstruction in postwar Germany. 1952 – A prototype aircraft crashes at the Farnborough Airshow in Hampshire, England, killing 29 spectators and the two on board. 1955 – Istanbul's Greek, Jewish, and Armenian minorities are the target of a government-sponsored pogrom; dozens are killed in ensuing riots. 1962 – The United States government begins the Exercise Spade Fork nuclear readiness drill. 1962 – Archaeologist Peter Marsden discovers the first of the Blackfriars Ships dating back to the second century AD in the Blackfriars area of the banks of the River Thames in London. 1965 – India retaliates following Pakistan's Operation Grand Slam which results in the Indo-Pakistani War of 1965 that ends in a stalemate followed by the signing of the Tashkent Declaration. 1966 – Prime Minister Hendrik Verwoerd, the architect of apartheid, is stabbed to death in Cape Town, South Africa during a parliamentary meeting. 1968 – Swaziland becomes independent. 1970 – Two passenger jets bound from Europe to New York are simultaneously hijacked by Palestinian terrorist members of the PFLP and taken to Dawson's Field, Jordan. 1971 – Paninternational Flight 112 crashes on the Bundesautobahn 7 highway near Hamburg Airport, in Hamburg, Germany, killing 22. 1972 – Munich massacre: Nine Israeli athletes die (along with a German policeman) at the hands of the Palestinian "Black September" terrorist group after being taken hostage at the Munich Olympic Games. Two other Israeli athletes were slain in the initial attack the previous day. 1976 – Cold War: Soviet Air Defence Forces pilot Viktor Belenko lands a Mikoyan-Gurevich MiG-25 jet fighter at Hakodate in Japan and requests political asylum in the United States; his request is granted. 1983 – The Soviet Union admits to shooting down Korean Air Lines Flight 007, stating that its operatives did not know that it was a civilian aircraft when it reportedly violated Soviet airspace. 1985 – Midwest Express Airlines Flight 105 crashes near Milwaukee Mitchell International Airport in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, killing all 31 people on board. 1991 – The Soviet Union recognizes the independence of the Baltic states Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania. 1991 – The Russian parliament approves the name change of Leningrad back to Saint Petersburg. The change is effective October 1. 1995 – Cal Ripken Jr. of the Baltimore Orioles plays in his 2,131st consecutive game, breaking a record that had stood for 56 years. 1997 – The Funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales takes place in London. Well over a million people lined the streets and 21⁄2 billion watched around the world on television. 2003 – Mahmoud Abbas resigns from his position of Palestinian Prime Minister. 2007 – Israel executes the air strike Operation Orchard to destroy a nuclear reactor in Syria. 2013 – Forty-one elephants are poisoned with cyanide in salt pans, by poachers in Hwange National Park. 2018 – Supreme Court of India decriminalised all consensual sex among adults in private, making homosexuality legal on the Indian lands. 2022 – Boris Johnson resigns as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, and is replaced by Liz Truss. Their meetings with Queen Elizabeth II at Balmoral Castle were the Queen's final official duties before her death two days later. 2022 – Russo-Ukrainian War: Ukraine begins its Kharkiv counteroffensive, surprising Russian forces and retaking over 3,000 square kilometers of land, recapturing the entire Kharkiv Oblast west of the Oskil River, within the next week.

[enjomo-arch]

@taiixuan , emil ( masked deuce ) asked : [  ALMOST KISS  ]  *  my muse leans closer to your muse almost like they’re trying to initiate a kiss, only to pull away in the last second. ( TEEHEE ACEDEU )

as  the  day  drew  to  a  close  ,   the  sun  descended  toward  the  vast  expanse  of  the  open  sea  ,   casting  a  breathtaking  palette  of  colors  across  the  horizon.  the  sky  transformed  into  a  canvas  of  vibrant  oranges  ,   pinks  ,   and  purples  ,   while  the  tranquil  waters  below  mirrored  the  wonderful  spectacle.  a  gentle  breeze  whispered  through  the  air  ,   as  the  fire  fist's  relaxed  gaze  seemed  to  pause  in  awe  of  the  incredible  sight. 

despite  the  fact  that  he  had  seen  the  sunset  millions  of  times  before  it  always  left  something  special  in  his  heart  ,   a  feeling.  for  as  long  as  he  could  remember  ,   sitting  on  the  edge  of  the  cliff  with  his  younger  brother  ,   he  had  watched  this  image  of  natural  ,   maritime  beauty  every  evening.  now  ,   however  he  was  doing  it  with  his  first  mate  at  the  side  which  felt  just  as  special.  sitting  on  the  spadille's  railing  ,   one  arm  resting  over  his  knee  with  a  bottle  of  booze  in  the  other  ace  could  only  think  about  so  much  in  moments  like  these.  

he  didn't  say  anything  for  a  long  moment  but  it  was  clear  that  this  didn't  necessarily  catch  deuce's  attention.  his  lips  softly  parted  ,   as  to  speak  something  but  eventually  he  felt  on  his  cheek  the  leather  glove  that  belonged  to  the  writer.  his  hand  guiding  ace's  face  tu  turn  and  let  their  gaze  meet  ,   the  slowly  approaching  closeness  with  the  azure-haired  man  leaning  in  closer  and  closer  caused  ace  to  skip  a  beat  of  his  firey  heart.  he  didn't  even  know  how  to  react  ,   his  eyes  widened  slightly  in  surprise  but  as  deuce  leaned  closer  he  couldn't  back  off.  he  didn't  want  to.  

a  silent  breath  sucked  up  through  his  teeth  before  the  spade  captain  bent  down  to  close  the  gap  between  them  but  ,   before  their  lips  could  meet  at  the  end  of  the  road  ,   only  the  chapped  skin  of  ace's  own  ghosted  barely  over  the  writer's  petal  peach  ones.  until.

❝  oi  ,   captain  ace!  an  island  at  the  horizon  ,   at  eight  .  ❞

ace  snapped  his  head  to  the  side  ,   upon  hearing  skull  screaming  about  finding  an  island  at  the  horizon.  well  ,   deuce  ended  up  kissing....  the  side  of  ace's  wild  ,   raven  locks.  ❝  holy  shit !?  really !  skull  hold  on  i'm  comin' !  ❞  the  fire  fist  shouted  enthusiastically.  his  attentiveness  completely  changed  its  tracks  and  he  jumped  off  the  wooden  railing  of  the  ship  straight  onto  the  deck.  ❝  oii  deuce  ,   quick !  ❞  he  waved  a  hand  to  the  journalist.  chuckling  under  his  breath  like  crazy  ,   so  happy  about  the  information  of  land  nearby  he  absolutely  forgot  he  was  just  about  to  kiss  his  first  mate.  

[neon-lights-stardust-nights]

🔗 || What's the most extreme thing they have ever done for you? for doctor crane

I don't actually talk about Crane much outside of the past tense of pre-relationship Kronos/Strange because TBH Kronos/Crane just requires even more trigger warnings than Kronos/Strange, and like

Like that's saying something

I think I would have an easier time listing trigger warnings that don't apply

So for the purposes of this ask meme, that specific Rena gif is gonna be my "if yee be sensitive to themes of psychological abuse in a relationship, maybe steer clear of this one" gif. I know I have that thing in my carrd like "I'm generally bad at tagging, so if you're easily triggered, maybe just don't follow me" but like IDK I feel like Crane is next level, even compared to ships like Sniper/Ocelot.

[meme]

SO.

WHAT IS THE MOST EXTREME THING CRANE HAS EVER DONE FOR ZACHARIE?

I use "Zacharie" in this context and not "Kronos" because the Kronos persona proper hasn't been established yet in the timeline. (Though, post-relationship Crane is basically just Crane trying to hunt faer down and re-establish a relationship by force, so like. Jot that down, I suppose.)

I feel like saying "he has killed for Zacharie" is incredibly obvious, and also incredibly tame. Ocelot has killed for Sniper! Faust has probably killed for Glitz! Yandere's bringing a naifu to their rival-waifus is nothing new. If anything, it is expected.

So, let's jam our spade in past that. Let's dig deeper.

He's tangoed with the Clown Prince Himself in faers honor. I feel like that already comes up there. Joker didn't die, but he still had a message painted to him: back the fuck off.

He's also very much risked being caught and sent to Arkham (again) to keep faer afloat (never mind that he's why fae was so often drowning.) His darling has needs, and he will rob a million banks to provide those! It's so comic book, it's so cartoon-villain, but his darling has! Needs!

He's been so intent on sharing his version of love through fear with faer that he's developed new strains of the toxin to do the job. FOR EVERYONE FOLLOWING THE STRANGE/KRONOS LORE: THIS IS WHY! HE WAS DOING THAT! It was an act of love to make sure fae could never build a tolerance, that each new strain bring something new, and that its ever-evolving form be an everlasting terror. THAT WAS *AFFECTION* FOR HIM!

All in all it's kinda hard to pick, he's just done so much in Zacharie's name. In the name of love, even.

[maskeddoctor]

@flambace asked: Fluorite: Are they able to concentrate easily no matter where they are, or do they need a quiet space with little distracts?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Gemstone headcanons

Fluorite: Yes and No. With the spade pirates being the rowdy group they were , deuce has gotten used to being able to write and make quick decisions with a million conversations happening all at once. However, with him now taking up the role of doctor on whitebeards ship , that is something he needs complete and utter silence for.

[ditzyfinalgrlowo]

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY Y'ALL!!! (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

Im the fool that didn't draw anything for Valentine's day in enough time so take some fluffy ship factz about my two furry OCz from my (yet to be released) webcomic: The Misfit Toyz

Tyler - "Gir" - He/him || Elliot - "Kuromi" - He/they

(Most of these facts take place during the first arc: The Misfit Toyz)

Tyler and Elliot r highschool sweetheartz! They start datin' during "The Misfit Toyz"

They both unironically ship Gir x Kuromi cuz Tyler kinz Gir n Elliot kinz Kuromi <3

Elliot stealz Tyler's clothez all the time

The two often spent alot of time on the academy's rooftop since it was the only place that the chance of runnin' into Principal Spade was low

Tyler has nicknamed Elliot "Shortcake" <3

Tyler is an aspiring band leader and has written multiple songz about Elliot

The height difference is immaculate due to Elliot's bunny genez and Tyler's coyote genez

Tyler can and will carry Elliot any chance he getz

They have spoiled each other into oblivion, they literally give the other something every week (Most of the time, something simple)

Food is Elliot's love language, Tyler can cook :3

Sending cursed memez is Tyler's love language, Elliot has a million of those >:3

Almost every Saturday, Tyler and Elliot go to the school gardenz to gain comfort from each other due to the hellish school weekz they both endue

Neither one of them wake up early, rip sleep schedulez </3

Could be partnerz in crime if they chose too >:]

That's all for now but dw, I'll hopefully post some kind of shipart before the month of February is out (⁠;⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

♡ Gif creditz ♡

Angelkitte on Tumblr

Sandylovehurts on Tumblr

[calcbench]

The Large Costs of Being Small

Worries about the high cost of labor and services persist in Corporate America, even as various economic indicators suggest that the job market and the economy overall are cooling. Today the crack Calcbench research team wanted to explore that issue by asking a specific question.

Are revenues keeping pace with Sales, General, and Administrative costs? 

SG&A costs include employee compensation, office supplies, shipping services, utility bills, paper clips, coffee filters — really any expense not directly related to your costs for producing a good or service. Put simply, SG&A is overhead costs. 

One might naturally expect SG&A expenses to rise as your business grows and you need more stuff. Then again, SG&A costs can also rise due to external factors such as a labor shortage, supply shortages, or general inflation. Lately we’ve had all three of those factors in spades. Hence we were curious whether revenues are rising faster than SG&A cost, so companies can protect operating margins. 

To answer that question, we looked at SG&A expense as a percentage of revenue for the last 18 quarters, from the start of 2019 through Q2 2023. Even better, we compared those numbers for two groups: companies in the S&P 500, and all companies with less than $500 million in annual revenue (a group of about 8,200). 

The results are in Figure 1, below; and they are as striking as they are clear. 

Among the S&P 500 (the red line in Figure 1), SG&A costs have remained relatively stable as a percentage of revenue, even through the pandemic in 2020, the shortage-driven years of 2021 and 2022, and the whatever-it-is we’re calling 2023. SG&A costs fluctuated from 14.5 to 17.1 percent, quite a narrow range.

At the same time, however, smaller companies have gone through an SG&A wringer. They started from the far higher base of 33.9 percent of revenue at the start of 2019, then popped above 46 percent twice in 2021 and 2022. The numbers have declined a bit this year, but are still well above that baseline of 33.9 percent before the pandemic.

What can financial analysts do with that information? For starters, understand the pressure that smaller firms are under. If SG&A costs are a bigger part of the cost structure, management needs to pay more attention to issues such as wages and operating expense; cost management becomes more important. You can also have a more nuanced appreciation of how supply chain and labor market pressures might affect operating margins, unless that small-company management comes up with new ways to grow revenue. Those are all good questions to ask the CEO and CFO on the next earnings call. 

And while the Calcbench team didn’t explore this angle, you could also study SG&A costs by specific industry. We used our Bulk Data Query tool to pull all these numbers; you can do the same, selecting a peer group that reflects a certain industry, NAIC code, or even other filters such as revenue or asset size.