#-and strapped to a lie detector

[astro-b-o-y-d]

As I am a very Normal person who thinks about Normal things, I am once again thinking about a Bill-themed execution for the Murder High School chapters of Triangulum

[captainsaltypear]

smash or pass that weird ass engineer mark with the beard and shit who has way too many candles

Lord forgive me for what im about to do. smash. WAIT WAIT BEFORE YOU EVEN ASSUME correctly THAT I AM A DON'T STAN YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT this is a man who has been stuck this ship for the past decade and he's trying to fix whats left of this ship and to stay alive. this man is frustrated. this man has suffered, this man is dishevelled. pathetic. just the way i like my coffee. if im being clinically sane one day, i would say pass, but this has been a rough week for me. imagine the fic possibilities go on SAY IT WITH YOUR CHEST THE CAPTAIN AND MARK ARE THE ONLY ONES ON THE SHIP AND ONLY YOUR CRYOPOD IS WORKING AND THERE’S ROMANTIC LIGHTING WITH THE CANDLES touching grass is not enough i need to be lobotomised BUT THINK OF ALL THE FICS COME ONE HEEHOO ENJOYERS YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND ME this feels like the left and right side of my brain arguing skjdfhskdKJHSDJKFSFSJ

[sturniolotrip-samandcolby-lover]

Matt sturniolo x Colby Brock X reader -

Dreams can come true

Summary -you are a youtuber and decided to do a lie detector with some friends for a video that leads to a confession and some very steamy actions

Warnings - smut ,oral sex m and f , threesome,protected sex , anal play ,choking,face grabbing ,hair pulling,spanking, dp (double penetration for all the innocent ones) swearing.If I've missed anymore else please let me know .Use of Y/N not proofread.

Word count -3k

Inspired by this photo

"Hey guys it's y/n here and welcome back to my channel , and if you're new here hi welcome .Today I'm going to be linked up to this lie detector here and my two friends here ,Matt and Colby are going to be asking me questions and I cannot lie .so if that's the sort of thing your looking for today is to see me probably embarrass myself then stick around".I say with a big smile into the camera hearing my two friends chuckling to themselves about the last part .

"Right you ready y/n " Colby asks as I get strapped in , I shake my head no in response with a small nervous laugh as him and Matt look at the pieces of paper that have their questions on .The pieces of paper that they have been keeping secret from me all day , I have no idea what they are but I just hope they don't make me blush Matt and Colby are both my friends but I've always seen them as so attractive, so when I had my dream about them last night I wasn't surprised.

*Twenty minutes later*

We've started getting towards darker and deeper questions . They've found out things that are bad but not too bad like how I admitted to peeing in the shower or biting my nails really badly as a kid .There's a pause before Colby asks the next question, he looks me deep in the eyes , I find my breath catching that I have to look away."Y/N have you ever had a threesome?" He asked I was shocked for a second "no" true I respond ."hmm" he says in response and looks to matt awaiting for the next question "would you ever have a threesome?" He asks.Shit shit shit I'm internally screaming, it's like they're mind readers with or they just knew about my dream last night I pause "yes" I say through a breathe true .Again the boys look at each other "so one last question y/n ...would you have a threesome with Matt and I?" I'm paused in shock , Colby said it so calmly that I can't even work out if I imagined it or not .I refuse to look either one in the eye "no" I say forgetting that the whole point of a lie detector is to show when people lie .Lie it says .I feel the boys glare at me , and I keep looking forward towards the camera not brave enough to look at them .

"Alright guys I'm gonna call it a day here , so thanks for watching if you made it this far .it's been interesting to say the least .Let me know if you'd like me to do another one of these.Please like , comment and subscribe and I'll see you next week ."I say as i turn the camera off.I show the man with the lie detector to the door and thank him again .I head down my long corridor towards the living and kitchen area where matt and colby are sat on the sofa.

"Anyone like a drink?" I say cheerfully as I walk past them avoiding their gaze .I'm stopped from walking to the kitchen by colby as his large hand wraps around my small wrist."sit down we need to talk" he orders.I oblige and sit between him and matt ."so about that threesome" matt brings up ,i go bright red instantly.colby notices "its nothing to be embarrassed about princess "he says , i shudder at this new nickname feeling the arrousal between my legs start to grow already I squeeze my thighs together underneath the skirt of my dress."tell me when was the last time you had a thought about a threesome with Matt and I ?" Colby continues .I take a shy breath "this morning...I ..I had a dream about it again last night" I stutter back in nervousness.Colby instantly puts his hand on my knee drawing small shapes on the exposed skin , I can't help but also think what else could his fingers do ."hmm well we have a proposition to make with you" matt speaks drawing my attention away from colbys fingers ."what's that" i say shyly."we give you what you dream , we've been thinking about it too" matt continues "so what do you say" matt asks .I nod my head in response "we are going to need to hear words princess if we're going to do this right" colby says with his husky voice ."yes" i say again more confident this time ."good girl" matt praises me " so since we're doing this properly we need safe word and whats your limits baby?" Matt continues." How about pineapple,and I don't really know my limits yet I want to see how far I can push them " i say looking him in the eye for the first time in what seems like forever.

"Good girl that's what we like to hear" Colby says with a small laugh." Now just let things go with the flow and you can say stop whenever you want to Princess , you're in control of it all " he continues.As he says this all his fingers move further and further up my thigh , I only noticed when his finger brush over my clothed pussy,"she's already so wet for us Matt" he says with a smirk .

" Sit on Colby's lap" Matt orders , I do as I'm told with it being very obvious already that I'm in for a long night and would be extremely submissive.As I go to sit on Colby's thigh , with Matt sitting in my previous seat .I'm distracted by colby kissing his teeth "actually Matt before she does that remember that she lied " he said in a teasing tone.i stand there in my dress Infront of the both , with them undressing me with their eyes ."you're right so she was a bad girl for lying" Matt replies "she should be punished " he continues."how about 10 spanks just to start off easy" colby says starring me in the eye " I agree" matt says."take your dress off "matt orders , i obey leaving me in just my damp underwear and bare at the top .

They both devour me with their eyes "good girl now get over here princess lay on your stomach over my knees " I do as I'm told "I want you to count for me okay?" Colby continues.

I lay there in what feels like forever awaiting the first spank ...*whack* "1" I say quickly the whacks continue until number ten *whack* "10 " I say , I'm now a moaning mess with my wetness now dripping past my panties .Colby rubs my sore cheeks praising me as I look up to already see Matt with his cock out resting on his stomach I'm surprised by his size .

Colby helps me stand up ,he points to a wet patch on the thigh of his jeans "look at what you done princess , you enjoyed that just as much as we did didn't you" he says rhetorical as he gestures to the tent in his jeans as I can see his boner being constricted.He reaches his hand up and pulls my underwear down , I feel so vulnerable I got to cover myself up when Colby grabs my hips moving me to now sit on his lap , I hiss at the instant sting of my reminder of my punishment."Put your legs on the outside of mine "Colby orders as I do to then he spreads his legs causing mine to be wide open and my bare pussy to be completely exposed.He uses his legs to trap mine between his and the sofa causing me to be in this spread open position with the choice to close my legs .

Colby's fingers dance around the top of my thighs "is this okay " he whispers in my hair , I respond with a yes .His hands quickly move to my pussy running his fingers between my slit "so wet" he says to himself , im already moaning slightly as he rubs my clit .I hold onto his right arm as something to do thats not going go cause rips."how about with that other hand you give Matt a helping hand" colby suggests , i do so i spit in my hand and wrap it around matts cock earning a instant moan from the shorter man .As soon as I start pumping Matt's cock , Colby enters two fingers into me , I'm a moaning mess and all the sounds that can be heard is my wetness , moans and Matt's moans.I watch Matt's face with his lips parted ,eyes closed and head back moaning my name .This sight and Colby fast rough fingers is enough and seconds later I feel my core tightened "ask" Colby says already feeling my orgasm coming "please please Colby can I cum , I need to cum so bad" I begged my head now resting on his broad shoulder "hmmm yes "he says after a pause " cum all over my fingers right now" that is all I needed before I'm a screaming mess withering around in Colby's arms .

I am completely oblivious as I open my arms I see that Matt is cleaning his cum off himself "did I do that" I ask exhaustedly with my head still resting on Colby's shoulder with his hands resting on my thighs comfortably."yeah, we came together" Matt says with a laugh .

"Let's carry this on upstairs "Matt says picking me up bridal style from Colby's lap he carries me upstairs with Colby following.Matt lays me down on my bed as both boys strip down so they're both as naked as I am ." Here's how it's gonna go y/n you're going to show us both what that pretty mouth of yours can do and then we're going to take it in turns to fuck both your holes do you understand?" Matt says so abruptly.I nod with a yes in response

I get on my knees at the end of the bed I take Matt's thick cock in my mouth swirling my tongue around the tip and bobbing my head down , I reach with my left hand pumping Colby's cock , his isn't as long as Matt's but it's alot thicker .I continue bobbing my head down both of their cocks , gagging , choking and tears running down my throat.I switch between wanking one off to sucking the other one until they're both moaning messes above me .

Matt removes my hand ,with Colby tapping my cheek in a way of telling me to pull off him.i look up at them both confused "we want to make you cum again before we do" Colby says at my confused expression."sit at the end of the bed baby ,I wanna do something"Matt says I obliged pulling my still weak legs to the end of the bed when Matt gets impatient and pulls my legs towards him he stand between them , towering over me .Colby sits on the bed next to be wanking his own cock I reach for his dick "you focus of squirting Princess" he says with a wink"I don't know if I can " I say quietly to them both, "don't worry baby I'll make sure you do" Matt says sweetly to me as he smacks my pussy lightly causing my leg to shake , he plunges two long fingers into me curling them at a fast pace it's less then a second that the room is full of sounds of my wetness "good girl"praises and my moans .I close my eyes as I start to feel my abdomen tighten when I shocked by the cool feeling of metal on my cheeks ."keep you eyes on mine when I'm making you cum" Matt orders , that's all it takes for me to be begging Matt "please Matt please" is all I can get out before he's nodding his head and I'm screaming while I squirt all down his hand .Colby holds me up as I come down .

I open my eyes at the loss of touch from Colby and Matt , to suddenly see Colby laying on the bed

With a condom already on his hard member and Matt standing with a bottle of lube as he rolls a condom onto his member , they came prepared for this ."you ever been fucked in the ass y/n" Colby says " no but ive had a finger , i liked it" i say blushing , "well matt is going to fuck your ass first and im gonna go second while i fuck your pussy , do you think you can be a brave girl and take us both princess"colby continued .I position myself so that Colby's cock is aligned with my pussy when I move down we both moan as he enters me , he gives me a second to adjust before he starts thrusting in getting me used to the feeling of him before Matt enters me from behind ."feels so tight for me y/n " Colby moans as he holds onto my boobs as they bounce .

I'm distracted in my movements when I feel Matt run his hand down my back , Colby stills inside of me "are you ready baby " Matt says I reply with a "yes" "come here princess rest you head on my shoulder let us do the work , remember your safe word " Colby reminds me .

I flinch against Colby as Matt squirts cold lube down my crack and rubs it around my puckered hole.I hear another squirt and await the cold but instead it's Matt rubbing lube down his condom covered cock .I feel a immense pressure and stretch as I let out tiny whines of pain against Colby's shoulder as I bite down on him .With Matt running his hands down my back and Colby's comforting words I start to relax and the pain slowly turns to pleasure.I give both boys the go ahead to move and soon enough they make perfect rhythms as one enters me the other pulls out.Matt grabs my hair and pulls it so im face to face with colby , he takes this perfect opportunity as colby wraps his hand around my throat " do you like this princess , these two cocks for you do you like having my hand wrapped your throat while you're getting both your holes filled" he says as he thrusts up into me ."I'm gonna cum "I say for the 3rd time tonight."we all cum together"Matt says "on 3" Colby answers "1....2....3"all 3 of us cum full of deep moans from matt and colby with a scream from me .I collapse against colby as he lifts me up quickly to get rid of his condom while matt does the same .I'm left trembling with no energy left in Colby's arms "are you done baby" he says to me I just nod my head in response "we'll call it a day" Matt says as he places a blanket over me and gets in next to me and Colby now with boxers on I was still completely naked ."But you didn't get my ass" I say quietly to Colby , he chuckled " there's always next time princess now you get some sleep we will look after you" he says stroking my hair .

[deltaromeo3]

ᴛʀᴜᴇ ᴏʀ ꜰᴀʟꜱᴇ? - Mason Mount

pairing: mason mount x footballer!reader

summary: what happens when the reader and mason are together for a youtube video- Truth Asylum?

✿ A/N: i love chunkz & i love footy asylum! pls give the series a watch if you have not😂 anyways, i hope you love this!! ps. if you don’t know what truth asylum is, it’s basically a lie detector test.

“…I’m gonna put their friendship to the test! Today we have the lovely Y/N L/N and Mason Mount!”

The both of you waved at the camera.

★ ★ ★

Finally they strapped you up- placing sensors on your chest and fingers, the blood pressure cuff on your arm and the goddamn rubber tube over your chest.

Chunkz was to your left and Mason was seated across you. You smiled at Mason and he laughs, finding the whole situation funny.

“I’m nervous,” You said as your heart beat quickens, shaking the jitters off.

“That’s true,” Chunkz points out, looking at the polygraph in front of him.

“Oh shut up Chunkz,” You rolled your eyes, the reaction earning a laugh from both Mason and Chunkz.

“Okay so Mason, she’s all strapped up and ready! Go ahead and ask her some questions.”

Mason rubs his hands together, a mischievous grin plastered on his face.

You laughed at his antics.

“So,” He pauses, building up suspense. “Do you think you’re a better footballer than me?”

“No.” You answered confidently.

“That’s true! Wow, you didn’t even think twice,” Chunkz points out.

“Yeah yeah, cause Mason has been at this football thing for much longer than I am. I have a lot to learn from him,”

Mason was in awe. “Aww Y/N, don’t say that!”

“I mean it!”

Next question…

“Y/N,” Mason calls out. “If if wasn’t for football,”

“Oh god,” You muttered, earning a chuckle from Chunkz and Mason.

“Do you think we would still be friends?”

You gulped, batting your eyelashes. “Yea?”

“That’s a lie!” Mason gasps, covering his mouth.

“Wait wait let me explain! Let me explain!!” You quickly interject. Mason and Chunkz chuckles at your quickness to get your word out.

“Alright then, go on,” Mason says, allowing you to explain yourself.

“You see, if you all didn’t already know,” You said as you waved to the camera, indicating ‘all’ as the audience.

“We met through football. Our team had a joint training and that’s how we became friends. Of course I knew of Mason before I even joined, who doesn’t? And prior to this I was quite a lowkey footballer. I don’t think anyone would’ve known me if I didn’t join the club or whatever. It’s just.. we were in very different social circles. He was winning awards left and right at the same age I was playing for a mediocre team back home.”

“So aren’t you glad you met me then?” He adds on, cheekily smiling.

“Is that allowed Chunkz? He’s asking me another question,” You try to sway away from the question, hoping Chunkz says no.

“Answer him,” Chunkz smirks.

“Yeah yeah… I’m glad I met you.”

“And that folks, is the TRUTH!” Chunkz shouts.

You saw Mason smile grow wider.

“Okay, last question before we hand it over to Y/N. Go on Mase,”

He pauses, thinking of a question.

“Y/N Y/M/N L/N…” He leans forward.

“Yes Mason Tony Mount? Go on,” You could feel your heart racing.

“You know the recent interview you did with Wired?”

Oh god. You already know what he’s about to ask. You just nodded in response.

“Remember when they asked about your football crush?”

You nodded again.

“You said it was Hector Bellerin, yeah? Now, can I ask, is that true?”

You gulped, covering your face with your hand. You side-eyed the camera before answering “Y-yes.”

“That’s a LIE! So, who is it Y/N? Is he in the room with us?” Chunkz says, adding fuel to the fire as he smirks at you.

“Ah- Eh! That’s- Okay, so Mason next huh?” You signalled to the producer and quickly avoided the question.

★ ★ ★

Mason’s turn

“Mason!” You called out.

“Y/N!” He returns your energy.

“Oh I’m nervous. I don’t like this!” He shuffles in his seat.

You laugh. “Nerve wrecking innit?”

He nods.

“So, Mason…. have you ever lied to me?” You stare at him intently.

“What?” The question catches him off guard. “Never. On God.” He turns to Chunkz to validate his answer.

“And it’s true. We love an honest guy,” Chunkz says.

“Yes we do,” You agreed with Chunkz.

You pondered a bit for the next question.

“Ah yes,” You paused. “Would you miss me if you never saw me again?”

You saw Mason laugh, like the question would be hard to answer.

“Do you want me to be honest?”

“Well yeah? Duh. Even if you lied I could tell.” You pointed to Chunkz.

“Then..yeah of course. You know when you had international duty?”

You nodded.

“I was going on to Dec about how much I missed you. You can ask him if you don’t believe me.”

You looked over to Chunkz for the answer.

“And….It’s true.”

You tried to hide your blush by giggling. “Didn’t know you’d miss me. That’s kinda funny.”

“How’s that funny!” He laughs, “Don’t tell me you don’t miss me when I’m away? Remember when I went to NYC you’d-“

“That’s enough Mase, zip it!” You quickly ran over to him, covering his mouth before he exposes more of what he was about to say.

“Right, last question before we end it.”

“Easy,” You said. “We all know you’ve got a type. Would you date someone that isn’t though?” You smirked.

“God Y/N, cmon now.”

“Well?”

“Yeah…yeah I would. But just this one person though. I don’t even have to think twice. I’d make an exception for her.”

“Oh? Who’s she? A footballer?”

Mason squeezes his nose bridge, hiding his face. “Chunkz save me,” He looks over to Chunkz, hoping he would help him.

“You did the same to her, m’sorry Mase. Go on, is she?” Chunkz looks over to you, smiling. The both of you giggled.

“Err, yeah, she is.” He hesitantly answers.

“Ooh, what team does she play for?” Chunkz asks, even he is growing curious.

“Nah nah nah, that’s too much! Let’s call it a day Chunkz!”

Chunkz and you laugh.

He then proceeds to do his outro.

You knew you shouldn’t have asked that question but you were curious. And also now you were a little disappointed he already has eyes on someone.

★ ★ ★

The video publishes a week later, of course you watched it. You went to look at the comments. It was flooded with things like:

“We need Mason and Y/N to come back!!!”

“There’s obviously something going on between the two of them”

“Oh they’re each other crushes. I know it.”

“Look at how Mason looks at her! He’s smitten.”

“OH CMON MASE SHES RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU”

Your phone suddenly dings.

And so, the two of you began chatting about the video.

However, little did you know that Mason was talking to Ben. He too, saw the video.

[i4bellingham]

LIES AND TRUTHS : jude bellingham x reader

in which you and your boyfriend jude goes through lie detector test.

not proofread !! 2nd part will contain jude’s questions and answers :> this is just something i quickly whipped up for you guys before opening my asks box to start writing the requests !! REQUEST box is currently temporarily closed !!

“Hello, this is Jude Bellingham...”

“And this is Y/N L/N and today, we will be conducting a lie detector test for fun.”

Jude smiles beside you before the producer behind the camera began speaking.

“So today, one of you will be strapped in a polygraph while the other will be asking five questions in total before switching.” The producer warmly smiles, raising a thumbs up. “Is everyone ready?”

You wipe your palm over your lap, nervously shaking your knees in order to calm your nerves before Jude’s putting a hand over your thighs to stop your quivering.

“A little nervous but I’d like to think I’ll be alright...” You grin nervously at the camera, watching your manager laugh at your demise behind all the staffs that were filming the current set.

“You’re showing that you're more than just nervous.”

You playfully glare at your boyfriend, managing to flick his knuckles before you're being strapped to the polygraph, now sitting in front of Jude who had a white card in his hand.

Jude's eyes skim over the questions written on the paper, a devious smirk on his lips as he takes a glance at you to which you jokingly scorn at him in return.

Seeing the signal of the producer to start, Jude begins to ask you his first question.

“Okay... first question for the beautiful lady, before you even knew or met me, was the rumors flying around about you having a crush on Marcus Rashford true?”

A deep groan left your lips after the question that was paired with a roll of your eyes as you slump on your seat, feeling the straps of the lie detector grow taut from the motion.

You refrained yourself from shooting Jude another glare, knowing all too well that he was the source of the questions in his card as much as you were responsible for yours.

You knew he was gonna use this time to tease you about matters that were left unanswered when you began dating him, partly because he was hesitant to ask you himself. But despite that, you can't see yourself lying to his question and instead answers it with a confident, “Yes.”

Jude's brows raise in faux surprise, almost seemingly innocent even though he's really not.

“Rashy!? Of all people!?”

“I mean have you seen him?” You quip back, leaning comfortably on your seat as Jude's mouth went slack. “I did. I had on crush on him when I was like 16 or something. I can't really remember much but my younger brother is a fan so I knew of him then because of my brother.”

Jude fans the card on himself before the man conducting the polygraph test raises a green card to indicate your truth.

“She’s telling the truth.”

“Wow... and I was itchin’ to know about this for two years now.” Your boyfriend says with a pout. “Do you still have a crush on him though?”

“Jude, no.” You laugh, watching as his face contort into one of disbelief before the examiner raises the green card once again.

“Truth.”

A heavy breath of relief leaves Jude’s lips before he's shooting you another jab.

“Well that's good to hear since he's engaged and got a daughter and all but you know... I'm kind of like free and ready to be wifed-up so just let me know if you want me to-”

Not only did you burst out in a fit of laughter but even the other staff present inside the studio did too, finding Jude's humor to be funny. However the owner of the joke seems to think otherwise as he looks at the camera with a (playful) frown.

“What? I'm bein' honest here.”

You shake your head, giggling on your seat. “Just hit me with the next question love.”

Clearing his throat, Jude proceeds, eyes skimming over the next question.

The small smirk dancing on his lips gave you an idea that whatever next question he may have for you was a controversial oneㅡor controversial to him rather.

“If you were to pick a sports game to watch in your entire life, what would you choose? Basketball or Football?”

“Football.” You answer straightaway.

Jude seems to be skeptical of your answer by the frown he had on his face. He knows you loved watching basketball, especially the NBA as it was one of the sports loved by your family. It was a sport that you grew up watching, supporting and loving probably more than you do with football, so for him to feel suspicious about your answer was definitely given.

“I know I didn't grow up watching football matches like I did with the NBA but having you share your passion for the sport with me, witness it happening firsthand and experience the beauty and energy of every football game that I've been to made me appreciate it just as much.” You slowly explain, clutching at the fabric of your dress. “It’s just entirely different when you have someone who plays in the league who shares their aspiration and love for their sport to me just like you do. You have a very big passion for football and every time I see you on the pitch, playing every game like it's your last just makes me root for you and the sport more. It has definitely grown on me because of my brothers and because of you that's why I chose it instead of basketball.”

From your peripheral, you can see some of the staff members, Jude’s and your manager alike possessing the same teasing smile on their lips before your boyfriend himself lets a teasing remark leave his lips.

“But who’s your favorite football player as of right now though?”

“Is that one of the question?”

Jude sighs and shakes his head. “No, but I'd skip a question to know this.”

You offer him an incredulous stare, watching as he waits for your answer.

“You know who...”

“No I don’t.”

“You played in Dortmund with him.” You reply.

Jude stops for a moment, pondering on who could it be before remembering the newly bought kit hidden in your wardrobe.

“Oh! Erling!”

You nod, “Yes him and Mbappè.”

“Oh, I didn't know that you liked Mbappè too...” Jude’s shoulders sag a bit before his flicking his card open. “Okay, next question... if you could spend a day with a football player, who would it be and why?”

“You.”

For the nth time, Jude seems to be distrusting of your answer. It must be because he now knows your current favorite football players and yet you still picked him of all people as a response to his question. If he thinks you're only doing it to appease him and to keep him from annoying the hell out of you, he doesn't comment on it. Instead, a raise brow and the pursing of his lips became a silent equation for you to divert his disbelief.

“Really!” You shriek with a small laugh.

Jude shakes his head in tune to your attempt of making him believe you.

“Really now?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” You sigh.

“Of course I’d spend every waking day I have with you. Told you countless of times, I’m all yours right? Why would I choose to spend a random day with someone I don’t even know personally when I have you?”

A smile threatened the frown Jude had on his face, slowly curving at the sides of his lips before he's flashing you his pearly whites with a small, shy grin.

He fans the questionnaire at you. “Alright, that's a valid answer right there.” He pounds at his chest like an idiot, making the people inside the filming venue laugh at his silly antics. “Oh I knew you loved me.”

You jokingly roll your eyes at him. “Of course I do. I’m with you aren’t I?”

“I would have chased you off anyways if you weren't with me...”

“You’re such a dork.”

Jude wraps a hand on the foot of your chair, slowly pulling you towards him as the camera cuts off temporarily and a staff from the production team comes over to untangle the wires from your body; all forgetting that the both of you were supposed to do a lie detector test that somehow ended up with just having your charming boyfriend send you questions after the other, and you answering it truthfully. Based on the goofy smile on Jude’s lips and the wriggling of his brows, he seems to think of the same thing before the polygraph wires are being adjusted around him.

[oneatlatime]

Lake Laogai

This Lake had better have Appa in it. With little water wings on.

Skipping the commentary as usual.

The Previously On section suggests that a whole lot of plot threads are about to crash into each other. Strap in folks.

Lefty Sokka!

Beat up Sokka quota fulfilled by his sister's critique of his art skills. It's not like he had paper to practice with at the South Pole.

Sometimes I forget that Aang is 12, then he does something like attempt to rescue his pet from a nefarious city-wide conspiracy of silence with lost cat posters.

"Good tea is its own reward." That means no, he isn't paid enough.

Remember what I said in my last post about Iroh bringing too much attention to himself?

"senior executive assistant manager" someone on the writing team has worked retail I see. Nothing like meaningless promotions with no raise attached! It's right up there with employee pizza party.

I have to pause here and point something out. This whole scene with Iroh? This is an adult fantasy. I don't mean dirty, I mean this whole scene was put in specifically to appeal to the adults who got roped in to watching this kids' show by their children. A rich man walks through the door of your shitty retail job, immediately spots your natural greatness, and offers you a much better paying job with unlimited creative freedom and a better house to go with it? Find me a burnt out retail worker who hasn't conjured up this fantasy five times a shift.

And so the plots come crashing back together. This won't end badly.

"patience really pays off" I checked. He waited literally three seconds.

Shout out to Toph in the background playing catch with a ball she can't see. Casual flex of epic proportions.

Remind me never to go to Lake Laogai. Sounds like it's lousy with Ju Dees.

So the Ju Dees don't know about each other? Because she seems honestly confused. Does Ju Dee think she's the only Ju Dee? What happens if two Ju Dees run into each other in the street?

Posters are illegal but I haven't heard a peep about recarving a bunch of fields into a zoo.

This is maybe the second time Aang's blown up over Appa. Frankly he deserves more blow ups about the whole situation.

I don't think knocking down walls will help find Appa, but I applaud Toph's spirit.

They took out a whole wall and then exit by the door anyways. That's funny.

I really hate this guy, but I have to admit that he may be the first truly competent villain of the series.

'The Jasmine Dragon' also lets anyone with half a brain know that you're Fire Nation. Try the Jasmine Badgermole instead.

Zuko really can't catch a break, huh? He wasn't happy being a tea server, but at least he was resting. But every time he gets five minutes to himself, the main plot reappears to drag him back into the action, whether he wants to or not. Although he hasn't figured out that he doesn't want to be dragged back yet.

Every line of dialogue in this scene is a good point. Zuko's right, Iroh's right. The Zuko's right again, then Iroh's right again.

YES YES YES GET HIS ASS

That was satisfying!

I'm not understanding why Sokka is the voice of reason here. Is he incapable of holding a grudge? He's the one that had all the animosity with Jet to begin with. Shouldn't it be Aang who wants to hear him out?

Toph is a living lie detector now? I can't think of an example off the top of my head, but I'm sure that could have come in handy previously. Any other incredibly useful skills we should know about?

Jet is oddly defensive for someone who claims to know he did wrong.

Ever get so excited that your spine malfunctions?

Sokka just has a metre long map in his pocket. Good friend to have in a pinch.

Avatar first! Katara is rude to an old person!

I'm going to have fun with Toph's new ability.

Toph, you have never been more right. It is the worst city ever. You are really shining this episode.

I know this is a serious scene, but I need to point out that Jet's guyliner is on point.

This shot is jarringly out of place. I think it's because it both black and white, and live action. Those have to be real clouds.

So the Blue Spirit can talk after all. Careful, your Zuko is showing.

Wow Zuko is good at sewing. And fast too.

Sokka is having far too much fun with this whole 'prompt Jet's memory' thing. Maybe he does have a bit of a grudge after all.

Katara can reverse brainwashing now too? Everyone's levelling up this episode.

This scene with the planks is a very cool and disorienting visual.

Didn't have 'the gaang breaks into a brainwashing facility' on my ATLA bingo card.

Pretty.

OMIGOD IT'S AP- did Zuko just break the fourth wall?

Everyone always forgets to look up.

So this fight is going to be Toph v. all of the Dai Li while everyone else tries not to get in Toph's way.

That's a boat.

Toph could probably take all these guys out faster if she wasn't having to constantly break off to save everyone else from them.

The Dai Li prancing up walls is a really cool visual. It's very Ty Lee of them.

I love watching her work.

Why don't you let Long Feng escape? He's no longer threatening you, and you're down there to rescue Appa. Just let him go.

The security on Lake Laogai is a joke.

Big words from someone who also had no plan whatsoever at the North Pole.

Zuko knows that Iroh's right. He knows, and that's important. I don't think Iroh is saying anything that Zuko hasn't thought and then hurriedly pretended to have never thought about before. It's why he says 'stop it' rather than being completely confused as to what Iroh is referring to.

Poor Appa's like 'can you have a crisis of self after you free me please?'

'You've chosen your own demise." No. You chose it for him. That's some top tier deflection/victim blaming right there.

Longshot can talk!

That's one hell of a set up and pay off re: Toph's lie detecting abilities.

Poor Jet. A double tragedy: to be likeable only when you're brainwashed, and to dedicate your life to wiping out the Fire Nation yet being killed by the Earth Kingdom.

Hi Appa. It's about time buddy.

Shockingly in character for Appa's first actions to be to single handedly save the Gaang from a threat.

You skip that bastard like a stone.

Everyone go and listen to the sound Appa makes when he spits out Long Feng's shoe. It's delightful.

I am framing this.

And this too.

I can tell there's some shmymbolism here, but it's gone right over my head.

Final Thoughts

Appa is back. The Gaang has Appa back. I have Appa back. Ok. I can relax now. With any luck, this means we can leave Ba Sing Se.

This episode felt like City of Walls and Secrets, Part 2. I think it was a good decision to have a couple of episodes between the two, but I think there would be some tonal whiplash if you binged this section of season 2. Which wouldn't have been a problem for a show designed to air once a week, so it's a moot point.

So Zuko freed Appa from his chains, and presumably pointed him in the direction of a door or something. Or maybe not; Appa has a ridiculously hard head, he could have busted his way out. Either way, Zuko broke the chains. Thanks Zuko!

In season 1, Zuko finds the Avatar the world had lost. In season 2, Zuko finds the Sky Bison the Avatar had lost. So in season 3, Zuko will find something Appa has lost. I wonder what that will be?

Jet being killed by the Earth Kingdom is so deliciously ironic, and tragic, yet very in character for the Earth Kingdom's approach to this war. It's also literally this:

Smellerbee and Longshot have really gotten the short end of the stick over and over this season. They were the only ones to decide to stick with Jet. Presumably they were the only ones who believed that he had had a legitimate change of heart. And they were kind of wrong. They get to Ba Sing Se only for Jet to immediately backslide way past even where he was at his worst in Season 1. He completely discounts and dismisses their legitimate concerns for his methods and his overall health. Then Jet gets arrested and disappears for two (?) weeks. So what do they do now? Get jobs? Steal so they don't starve? Then suddenly Jet's back but he doesn't even remember them. Then suddenly Jet's dead. The whole point of coming to Ba Sing Se just died, in a way that shows very clearly that their desire to help with the war is not welcome at all in the city. So what now? Do they leave and try to fight in the war from outside the walls? Do they settle down and try to forget about the war? Things did spiral completely out of Jet's control once the Dai Li got involved, but you have to admit that he's left his only remaining friends up a creek.

Sokka had some good jokes but was oddly ok with this episode's events. Toph had some great lines and got to shine with a new skill that any writer with half a brain will bring back in future episodes. She felt like the audience substitute this episode, which is usually Sokka's role. Toph was episode MVP for sure. Poor Aang took a bit of a back seat this episode. Zuko finally hit the crisis point, and may well have made his first indisputably correct decision of the series. But, as previous episodes have gone out of their way to show me that Zuko being good always goes badly for Zuko, I'm sure freeing Appa will somehow come back to bite him.

Iroh's question of "who are you? And what do you want?" was Zuko's entire character arc this season. He took a shot at answering the "who are you?" portion in Zuko Alone, and sort of halfway got there before messing up at the end of the episode. As for the "what do you want?" Zuko will tell you (often and repeatedly) that he wants his honour back. But I think he just wants to go home. The thing is, I strongly suspect that the home Zuko wants to return to hasn't existed since his mother left, if it ever existed at all. Which means that while "who are you?" has an answer Zuko can work towards, "what do you want?" has an answer that is kind of impossible. So Zuko is going to have to learn to want something new.

RIP Jet. Your life was fucked to Hell long before you were old enough to try and salvage it. You'll probably be missed by more people than you strictly deserve. War sucks, amirite?

[corazondebeskar-reads]

ain't no rest for the wicked - chapter four

ain't no rest for the wicked series

four: no telling what tomorrow holds

series masterlist | prev chapter | final chapter

Tess Servopoulos x f!reader x Joel Miller

words: 5.9k

summary: Joel and Tess pay you surprise visits after work.

warnings: dark-ish Joel and Tess, smuggler!Joel, smuggler!Tess, boston QZ, QZ life, poorly negotiated d/s-style dynamics, poor communication, enthusiastic consent, oral sex (m & f receiving), p in v, degradation, stalking, threesome, light rope bondage, light choking with a belt, paddling, punishment, aftercare, strap-on, anal sex, rimming, light angst, orgasm denial, hurt/comfort, light description of a wound, flashbacks to outbreak day (reader), double penetration

This is the penultimate chapter.

also on ao3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

You don’t get any warning the next time. It’s not more than a week later, and when you step out into the dying sun, Joel’s waiting outside your office building.

You’re pissed, because when he croons, “Where you goin’, sunflower?” from behind you, your heart shoots about sixty feet into the sky.

“Cheese and fucking Christ, Joel!” You’re clutching your chest, but you can’t even pretend to be mad for more than a minute.

Not the way he’s smirking, something bright behind his gorgeous eyes. He looks fucking beautiful like this, bathed in amber, dark coat against the snow.

“I can just leave by myself,” he says.

But you break and smile. Goddamnit. It isn’t just your cunt that’s happy to see him.

Though it very much is. You’re a little concerned about icicles forming, the way you’re abruptly dripping at the prospect of an evening with them.

He can read it all over you. Of course he can. He shakes his head and pushes away from the wall, not bothering to swallow down the smug curl of his lips.

“They been treatin’ you alright?” He asks as you make the walk across town.

“Who, work? Yeah, I mean. A job’s a job.” You shrug.

He’s looking at you like he thinks he’s some kinda human lie detector.

“Nobody’s bothering me, I promise,” you say, rolling your eyes.

His jaw ticks. You don’t realize how close he’s leaned until he’s murmuring into your ear. “Watch the attitude, little girl.”

You swallow hard. He leans back, but you’re acutely aware now, that he’s stayed close the whole time. There’s not five feet between you as you scramble to follow. No, he’s been near enough that your shoulders occasionally brush.

Thinking about it makes your stomach feel a lot like your very first (and only) cellphone. It had slipped from your pocket into the lake up north when you crossed from the dock to the little motorboat, and you just watched as it sank slowly. By the time you thrust your hand below the surface to save it, it was too late, and the water you displaced pushed it deeper into the darkness.

Your daddy had been mad beyond words, not that it stopped him from lecturing, and while you sat there peering over the edge, it lit up with a call from your best friend, even underwater. It rang over and over and over until your dad started the boat, and the motor buried it in a puff of kicked-up sand.

She had been calling from back home, where you’d be in about six hours. You figured you’d stop by her dorm and see what her latest fuckboy from the neighboring floor had done now.

By the time your dad pulled up to campus, though, the world was half over. He didn’t let you out of the car, your brother holding you back while your daddy peeled away from the curb and the bodies.

He was gone by midnight.

When you blink back to the grimy streets of Boston, you can’t remember what you were thinking about before. Joel’s still looking at you, brow furrowed.

“Where’d you go?” he says.

“Oh, uh. I dunno. Just got lost in my head,” you try to smile and shrug. Silly you, as always, drifting off in the clouds.

He doesn’t buy it, but he doesn’t push it.

When you get to the apartment, you’re startled to find Tess in an apron. As far as you know, Joel’s been the only one cooking when you came over. She spares you a kiss before she turns back to chopping carrots.

You kind of want to drop to your knees right there in the kitchen, watching her tuck back a loose strand of hair while brandishing a knife.

There might be something deeply unwell about you, you suspect. But it seems like the kind of thought that hampers your quality of life, so you scrunch it up and toss it in your mental waste bin. It bounces off the rim.

Damn. You can’t even make a basket in your own mind.

Joel smirks at the way you already look a little dazed. “Don’t worry,” he murmurs in your ear. His thumbs hook into the belt loops at the front of your jeans, tugging you back so you can feel him press against your ass. “We’re gonna have dessert first tonight.”

Tess snorts. “Been workin’ on that one all day?”

“Shut up, like you didn’t tell me to go pick up something sweet.”

You think maybe you’re going to die from secondhand embarrassment. “Can’t believe I used to be scared of you guys,” you say, foolishly, “you’re just a couple of dorks.”

Tess shakes her head, lip twitching into a smirk. “Baby, you just going to let her disrespect you like that?”

Oh, shit. If you weren’t wet already, well.

“Do whatever you want with her while I finish this up,” she says to Joel, meeting his eyes over your head.

Her words are anesthesia. Your whole brain seems to fuck right off, and it’s like you’ve been a mermaid turned human, the way your legs don’t seem to work anymore.

He lets go and steps around before throwing you over his shoulder, taking the opportunity to slap your ass.

“M’sorry,” you say, clawing at the back of his shirt for stability. Not that you really think he’d drop you, but all in all, you’re a little off-kilter right now.

“You will be,” he says.

It should scare you, you think. Despite your joke, outside of this apartment, these are two terrifying individuals. Together? Well, your initial tornado siren instinct wasn’t far off.

Instead, you moan.

He shakes his head. “What am I gonna do with you, huh?”

“She said whatever you want.” You don’t have a clue where the boldness is coming from, but you think you like where it’s going.

“You got a mouth on you today. First thing is gonna be findin’ a better use for it.”

“Fuck,” you whisper.

He swings you down from his shoulder, and you sink straight down to your knees.

“Open,” he says, belt buckle jangling as he tugs it from the loops.

You open your mouth wide and stick your tongue out, but he doesn’t give you his cock yet. He grabs your jaw, fingers digging into your cheeks, and spits onto your waiting tongue.

You startle back a little but moan and swallow it, only for his hand to fly out and slap you.

“I didn’t say you could swallow that,” he growls.

“Sorry, sir,” you say, eyes wide and sorrowful.

He leans back down and spits again. You hold still, and he gives you a crooked grin. “Attagirl. Hold that for a minute.”

You whine until he brings the belt around your neck, sliding it through the hoop on the buckle and pulling it snugly around your neck. It’s not too tight, and the sight of the loose end wrapped around his fist almost does you in.

“Yeah, you like that,” he says, shaking his head. He leaves you waiting while he pulls out his cock.

You whimper when you see it, but he tugs on the belt to abort the sound and rests his cock on your tongue, thrusting so shallow that he’s barely inside the cavern of your mouth.

When it’s nice and coated with your saliva and his own, he pulls out and slaps it across your face.

The moan you let out would be humiliating if you had it in you to care. But you don’t, only concerned with getting his cock back in your mouth.

You give him your best pleading eyes, wide and sad, with your mouth still open.

“Aw,” he coos, dry and mocking, “are you not getting what you want?”

You shake your head.

“Brats don’t.” He rubs the leaking head of his cock over your upper lip, smearing precum in his wake.

You move instinctually to lick it, but he pinches your tongue between two unforgiving fingers.

“I don’t think so. You’re just going to sit still and be good. And quiet."

If you thought Tess’s words made your mind go blank earlier, then this made you think nothing. Literally nothing. The weight of his belt around your neck, the smell of him on your lip, and the rigidity of his commands are all you can handle. Like the shutdown of your old, chunky computer, your brain whirrs to a stop.

He pulls you forward by the belt, cutting off your air and leaving no room for resistance. Not that you’d have even dreamt of it. He slides in farther this time, the head just grazing against the back of your throat.

You keep your eyes and mouth open wide. The pressure on your throat eases up, not entirely, but enough to allow you air. He begins to gently thrust in and out, reaching deeper and deeper.

You whine, jaw aching for more.

He smirks. “What? You don’t like me usin’ your mouth to jerk off?”

Your cunt clenches, with nothing, nothing to comfort it. It’s strong enough that your head tips back a little, a raggedy gasp slipping around him.

“Did you just almost cum?” he asks, tugging a little on the belt.

“Uh-huh,” you try to say.

He whistles. “Damn. Don’t you dare, though.”

Easier said than done, but you manage to hold back. His cock sent sparks to your clit as he masturbated with your throat.

The door clicks softly shut as Tess comes in, apron abandoned in place of a shit-eating grin. “Havin’ fun, baby?” she asks Joel, wrapping her arms around his waist and taking in the scene.

“Y’should have a go, use her tongue,” he says. “Fuckin’ slut almost came from bein’ used as a cocksleeve.”

You moan and try to grab his thighs, but he just steps back, pulling his cock away. The whine you make is soaked with desperation and hurt feelings.

“Why don’t you tie her up, and I’ll have a turn,” Tess says. She comes close to you, a hand in your hair to tip your head back. “Same rules, sunflower. You just stay still and be good.”

You can’t do much more than blink up at her as Joel crouches behind you and tugs your arms back, binding your wrists together deftly. He moves to help Tess strip down, his movements gentle and devout. Her neatly folded clothes get set on the dresser, and he sits on the side of the bed to watch, cock drooling over his fist.

She makes use of your mouth, rubbing her cunt over your tongue. You’ve stretched it out as much as you can and your chest aches with the need to lick, to taste, to have anything more than they’re allowing. But the ache to be good for them is deeper and undeniable.

She grinds until her clit is pushed against you and rides your steady tongue until she cums. You don’t dare swallow what’s left in your mouth, remembering the scolding you got earlier.

“Good girl,” she croons, stroking your cheek. She steps back, and you jerk a little with the intense throb that seems to rattle your bones. You’re so close, and you know what’s about to happen.

You whine and give Joel sad eyes again, begging for mercy. He doesn’t grant it, but he does rub his dick through Tess’s slick where it sits on your tongue, groaning at the warmth and ease as his cock slides smoothly into your throat, pushing the taste of her with it.

Each thrust makes you whimper and plead, not that he can technically understand you, but the grin on his face makes you think he does perfectly.

“Damn, I wasn’t gonna let ya, but makin’ you cum untouched like this…” he muses out loud.

You hold back the plea, not wanting to dissuade him.

He cups your cheek, stroking his thumb up and down. “Nah.”

Your eyes are wide again, unable to stop the pout that turns your lips down around his cock.

“None o’ that,” he scolds, using his hand on your face to fuck into you. “You mouthed off. You can wait to cum on our cocks.”

You can’t help the way your head snaps to the side to look at Tess, where she’s leisurely sprawled on the bed. His next thrust was already in motion, and his cock jabs you below the ear.

He growls and yanks your face back to him, pushing inside while pulling on the belt. Your clit pulses with the beat of your heart, or maybe the beat of his cock. As if they’re any different right now.

“Yeah, you heard me,” he says. “And now that I think about it…” he trails off to look at Tess. Out of the corner of her eye, you can see a responding grin creep across her face.

She gets up from the bed and comes over to you. “Let me have another go, and you get it all out for me, baby,” she says to Joel.

He pulls out immediately, and you can hear him rustling through a drawer while she rides your tongue to a second orgasm.

“Look how sweet you’re being,” she says, bending to kiss your forehead. The praise settles somewhere in your ribs, a warm, wriggling thing.

The cock he’s picked out is smaller than the one he took last time and smaller than his own, but not by much. If you weren’t already drooling, saliva dripping down onto your tits and their carpet, you would be now.

She slips the harness on with practiced fingers, vibrator tucked snugly inside her, though she doesn’t turn it on yet. When she sets the plastic on your waiting tongue, you gasp, eyes fluttering shut.

Instead of fucking your face with it, she gives a jerk of her head to Joel. He comes around behind you and puts a hand on either side of your face, fucking your head back and forth on the cock.

“That’s it, baby,” she moans, reaching out to caress him. He presses his lips to her hand, and she pulls him in for a kiss. He doesn’t miss a beat the whole time, still using you as a fleshlight for her strap.

It’s not his roughness that brings tears to your eyes, though, or jealousy. He’s not expecting it when you break away, his firm hands guiding more than forcing.

“Please,” you beg. “Please let me touch you.” You squirm in the ropes, knocking a tear down your cheek. “Please fuck me, please something.”

Tess wipes the tear away. “Think she’s had enough?”

Joel grunts his agreement, grabbing you by the arms to help you to your feet. He hands a bottle of lube to Tess, who situates herself on the bed, one hand slickening up the cock.

He stands behind you and holds your jaw in one hand, so you watch her, not that you’d be looking anywhere else. His other hand slides down to your cunt, and he chuckles. “Y’ain’t even gonna need it,” he tells her. He pushes two fingers in with little struggle and starts working you open for her.

You writhe. It’s almost too much; it hurts a little. Somehow, you’re overstimulated, and this is the first time all day that anyone has actually touched you.

“I know,” he murmurs. “You’ve been so good. Let us both get in ya, and I’ll let you cum.” 

He yanks his hand away, and you nearly sob. He unties your wrists and pulls his belt from your neck. “Go on,” he says, slapping your ass.

Tess grins at you as you climb up. She’s turned on the vibrator on her end and beckons you with open arms to crawl to her. You lean down, and she tugs you in for a kiss, her hands sliding to your hips to guide you down onto her strap.

“Can’t believe I haven’t fucked you yet,” she murmurs between kissing and nipping at your lips.

Your eyes roll back as you slide down, your pelvis angled just right so that when she bottoms out, you can grind your clit against her bush. She smirks but digs her fingers into your hips to stop you.

“Hold still and wait just a little bit longer,” she says.

Once you’re settled, Joel pushes you down by the shoulder to lay against Tess. It leaves you only partially seated, but you nuzzle into the nape of her neck, pressing kisses where you can reach.

It’s not a shock when his slicked-up fingers breach your asshole. You kind of assumed when he said they’d both be fucking you. He didn’t ask if you’ve done this before, though. He doesn’t really need to ask anymore.

You’re a little embarrassed that he’s got you pegged correctly as a slut. Before you came to Boston, you had fucked your way through the hard days, desperate to feel, well, anything.

But here, it had been harder. You made a point not to get to know anyone; it didn’t seem wise after everything fell apart before.

Then again, you think, they’re both experienced enough that they can hardly judge you for it.

You stop really thinking after that as Tess wraps her arms around you, gently thrusting up as Joel’s thick fingers work you open.

“Doing okay, sunflower?” she says.

You intend to respond, but Joel chooses that moment to stuff a second finger in you, and all that comes out is a broken, starving moan.

“Attagirl,” he says, rubbing his other hand over the dip of your spine.

When he finally deems you ready, he wastes no time.

“Oh god,” you pant as he pushes in with a strong, smooth stroke. “Oh fuck.”

They don’t really wait for you to get acclimated, not that you’re complaining. The back-and-forth rhythm is soothing, but you’re trembling, trying to keep it together.

True to his word, Joel slides his hand around and hovers his finger over your clit. “Whenever you’re ready,” he says. Blunt teeth nip at your neck as he presses firmly down, their thrusts jostling you and doing the work for him.

You cum immediately. It’s not a choice. You’d been barely holding on, and once he finally touches you, it’s like you break open. Vaguely, you’re aware of how loud you’re being, but he’s holding you tight and unrelenting. They both still and let you shake apart on their cocks, Joel’s dark chuckle against your neck as you fuck yourself through it.

You don’t think you fully come back to yourself the whole time they fuck you. You’re floating somewhere vaguely in the middle of the throng of bodies, lightheaded. Every pore feels electrified, each brush of their skin against yours drawing a gasp or cry. You know you cum again. Maybe you don’t ever really stop.

An endless wave of aftershocks, some orgasms in their own right, roll over you, and you just take it. Take them. Let them move and pinch and rub your body; just a soft vessel to soak up their attention.

When they’ve exhausted themselves and you, Joel spilling deep inside, he tugs you to the side to let Tess up. He lays behind you and tugs the sheet up as the sweat cools and leaves you shivering. His warm body presses against yours, an arm loose over your waist.

When Tess goes to leave the room, he sits up, but she’s not having it. “It’s my stew. Don’t even think about it.”

He grumbles, something you don’t catch as you fall asleep.

It feels like only a moment has passed when he shakes you awake. “Gotta sit up and eat somethin’,” he says. It’s gruff, as he always is, but there’s something that stirs you to seek him out. Instead of sitting up properly, you turn over to snuggle against his chest.

He huffs, shaking his head, but it doesn’t stop him from holding your head to him. He presses a kiss atop it before nudging you to sit up.

You can’t help the small, stupid smile that lingers. You’re too well-fucked, the pleasure still loosening your muscles and inhibitions.

Tess pushes a thick bowl of stew into your hands. You’re irritated at your own surprise. Why did you ever think it was going to be some normal canned Campbell’s shit? You literally saw her chopping fresh carrots.

It’s full of rice and tender meat, tomatoes, onion, and herbs. More than you can identify, but it’s so rich and hearty that you think you could die happy. All your senses are satisfied, and your stomach is full.

“Kill me now,” you sigh, leaning back against the pillows.

Joel and Tess exchange a look over you, but you don’t give a damn.

“Is something wrong?” she says.

“No,” you say, a soft smile settling as you close your eyes and nestle into their bed.

Joel shrugs, and they make the wise choice to ignore you while they finish eating. He wins the argument about who does the dishes, and you excuse yourself to the bathroom to clean yourself up while he handles them.

You only try to argue once against them walking you home. You’re pretty sure everyone is aware of how half-hearted it is.

Tess jumpscares you a couple of weeks later. Well, nearly. You’ve been on high alert since the Surprise Joel Incident, but your heart gets lodged in your throat at the sight of her.

It’s so incongruous that you stand there for a moment, just blinking stupidly, hand shielding your eyes from where the sun bounces off the freshly frozen snow.

“Hey, sunflower,” she says, and kisses your cheek, leaving you flushing hot enough to melt the drifts in your path.

“Hi,” you squeak.

She doesn’t hold your hand on the walk, but she sticks close and guides you through throngs of people with a palm burning at the dip of your spine.

When you let slip your worry—not that you aren’t just as happy to see her, but that the change makes you paranoid—she fesses up to Joel’s current predicament.

She warns you, this time. “I promise it won’t be like then. I’m not gonna put you in that position again.”

You’re comforted a little, but it’s still an upsetting prospect. You don’t want to see him get punished. And she won’t tell you what he did, but she does tell you she knows you’re going to understand her point.

“Lay down over the bed next to him, sunflower, just like that.”

You obey, quietly settling your top half on the mattress beside him. He keeps his face buried in the duvet while you squirm around, trying to figure out what to do with your arms.

His are bound behind him. Should you mimic it? You tuck them under you, lay them by your sides, and clutch at the sheets above your head. Tess comes in the room and snorts at your fidgeting.

“Want some help with that?” She’s holding another length of rope, and you know it’s not a question.

“What’re you doin’ to her, Tess?” Joel grumbles, finally lifting his head. He doesn’t look at you, only at her.

Her hand cracks against his thigh before you realize she’s even moved close enough. “You wanna try that again?”

“Sorry, ma’am,” he mumbles, hiding back in the blanket.

“I can do whatever I want with her, right? She’s yours, and you’re mine. You know what that means, sunflower?”

You’re suddenly a little jealous of grapes, as you try to respond but only manage a squeaky whimper. Under the focus of the sun, they get to shrivel up and hide. Instead, you automatically turn to face her.

“Well?” She prompts, but she doesn’t wait for you to respond before tugging your arms behind your back and threading the rope around.

“It means I’m yours, too, ma’am.”

At your words, Joel is finally, finally looking at you, but unlike Tess, his attention scalds.

“That’s right.” She tugs at the rope to check the fit, and when she’s satisfied, she crouches down and spreads your cunt wide open.

You jerk a little as her cold fingers swipe between your folds. “She’s wet already, baby.”

You’re burning, one step closer to your new life dream of being a raisin, when you hear what is unmistakably Tess sucking her fingers clean of you. You moan and finally turn your head to seek out Joel.

He’s fuckin' sick and tired of you seeing him like this. But there’s a good part of him that knows he brought it on himself. If she thinks humiliating him in front of you is going to work, she’s probably right.

So far, though, you don’t seem to have lost any respect for him. When he finds your eyes, they’re soft and pleading. You don’t need to say a word; he knows you’re seeking the grasp of his firm hand.

“Hey, sweet girl,” he says.

You smile, but you don’t get to respond, distracted as Tess fists her hand in Joel’s hair and yanks back.

“You wanna tell her why you’re here like this instead of fucking her tight little cunt?”

Joel does not, but he’s not stupid. It wasn’t really a choice.

Tess tugs, sharp pain blossoming across his scalp, so he has to face you.

“I made a reckless decision.”

“And?” She prompts.

“And I nearly got shot.”

You suck in a breath but don’t look away. He, however, does—still facing you but eyes looking anywhere but.

“Nearly,” Tess scoffs. She tugs him to roll a little bit, and you see the bandage on his side, stained like rust.

“It grazed me. That’s nearly.”

She nudges him back into position but doesn’t let him turn away from you.

“Now you both get to see what happens when you do careless shit, baby. Don’t look away.” She pauses for a moment, taking something out of a dresser drawer. “And Joel?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Count for me.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He wants to close his eyes to brace for the hit, but you’re looking a little nervous. “S’ok, sweetheart,” he murmurs. “I can take it.”

But when Tess swings the paddle down, it’s on you. They’ve never used it with you, you’re not any kind of prepared for the broad, heavy stroke. You cry out, something akin to a yelp and a gasp, jerking forward into the mattress.

“No,” Joel snarls, wriggling against the ropes.

Tess clicks her tongue. “Not what you’re supposed to be saying, baby. Let’s start over.”

You’re slightly more prepared when she hits you again. It’s not any softer but a little easier to bear.

“One,” he bites out.

She catches you by the hair when you subconsciously press your face into the bed. “You keep looking right at him, sunflower. He needs to see.”

He looks at you, brows cinched and eyes wide. His lips part, but the words don’t come out.

You nod, a small duck of your chin, and he closes his eyes for just a moment.

When he opens them, they’re lined with pain, his aching muscles taut as he grapples with guilt. He returns the nod.

She doesn’t go easy on you. No, you get exactly the punishment Joel would have gotten. By the time you’ve taken 25 (or, well, 26), you’re sobbing softly, squirming to try to alleviate the burn.

“See, baby?” Tess says, setting the paddle down and running her fingers over your hot, aching skin. “This is what happens when you’re reckless. Someone gets hurt.”

Of course. No lesson in the world could make Joel more careful with himself for his own sake.

She cuts his ropes first, and he’s on you immediately, tugging the knot so you’re freed and pulling you into his lap.

He holds you against him. “Oh, sweetheart,” he murmurs as you sob into his chest. “I’m so sorry.” He lets you cling to him while you cry, rubbing a soothing hand up and down your back. He steadies you in a way you can’t explain. So does Tess.

It takes you a long time to recognize that feeling as safety.

At some point, Tess hands him something out of your line of sight. He reaches around you to unscrew the lid from the tub, and you jolt when his fingers move to the raw skin on your ass, but whatever he rubs on it instantly cools the burn.

You let out a sigh, leaning lax against him.

“You okay?” Tess murmurs, a hand on your shoulder.

You blink up at her and nod. “M’okay.” You crane your neck to kiss her hand, and she smiles.

Her other hand threads into Joel’s hair, gently this time. She gives him a kiss there. “Learn your lesson?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he says, barely louder than a whisper, voice like a knife on toast.

“Good. You were both so good.”

It’s the final string for you, the snap of the last tether. You mumble what you think is a thank you, but it comes out undecipherable. She gets the idea anyway.

Everything is warm and heady, your limbs like silicone, but your mind like a sieve. You’re wet enough that Joel can feel the heat where your bare cunt lays across his bare lap.

He dips a finger in and strokes gently through your folds. “Gonna make you feel better,” he says, laying you down on the duvet. You keen, fingers reaching for him, but Tess catches them and kisses you, kneeling beside you on the mattress.

“Hang on,” she says as Joel gets to his knees on the carpet. “Lay down,” she tells him, gesturing to where he’s frozen.

He obeys, and she tugs you forward to the edge of the bed.

“Sit on his face, sunflower,” she says.

Joel groans and reaches his hands up to help you down, but you hesitate.

“I—” you start, but she sees right through you.

“If you haven’t figured it out by now, he likes eating pussy.”

“Fuckin' love it,” Joel says, fist clenching around his cock while he waits.

“I don’t wanna be ungrateful,” you say to the wall behind him.

“You wanna get fucked?” she says.

You nod.

“You can ride him first if you want. Or you can start on his face, and then we’ll switch.”

“No,” Joel says, and you both look at him.

“Get down here and give me your cunt, now.”

You look at Tess, and she shrugs.

Knowing you’ll still get his cock makes you care a lot less what order it comes in—you snort out loud at the pun—so you do as you’re told. He settles you down and doesn’t wait for Tess; he just starts licking you—almost too gently.

You don’t complain. It feels good, and you think he’s still apologizing.

Once Tess helps herself to his cock, she reaches for you and takes your face in the cradle of her palms, licking into your mouth.

It’s all slow and luxurious. Dangerously so. You and Tess are content to make out while she rides him, a gentle cant to her hips, and he holds you open with both hands to eat you out. He’s careful to avoid the irritated skin on your ass, prying at the inside of your thighs instead.

You don’t know how many times he takes you apart on his tongue, but when it crosses the line between just enough and a little too much, Tess lifts off his aching cock and taps you in to switch.

As nice as his mouth was, sinking down on his cock is fucking divine. Life changing. You could start a church.

Well, not quite, but anyway. The point is your cunt had been painfully empty, and now that it’s stuffed full, you think you might cry.

Instead, you go back to making out with Tess and groping her tits.

She lets him cum when she does, after you’ve both had your fill. She holds you down on him and rubs your clit so you all share an orgasm.

She stands up on trembling legs and tugs you to do the same, even though you really want to just collapse on the floor.

Joel’s moved to the bed when you come out of the bathroom, dozing in the slice of streetlight from the window. Tess is nowhere to be seen. You’re still feeling a little fuzzy and dazed, but you take your cue and slip out of the bedroom to get your things.

“Hey,” Tess’s voice cuts through your haze.

You stop where you stand, bag over one shoulder, leaning against the door with one boot tugged just past the toes.

“Do me a favor? Stay here tonight,” she says.

“What?” Your heart stutters. It’s never been an option before.

“Stay. I know I was harsh on ya. Both of ya.”

“I’m fine,” you lie. Your body betrays you, as always. Fuckin’ narc. Your hands are shaking and it rattles the zipper of your boot like an SOS.

She steps closer and cups your face in one hand.

Your eyes flutter shut, leaning into the warmth of her calloused palm.

“C’mon, sunflower. Let me look out for you. Please.”

“Okay,” you whisper, pressing your lips to her hand.

She pulls you in, and when her lips meet yours, you moan softly. It’s less from your cunt than from your aching chest. She pulls you close, tucking your head to her shoulder, and you snuggle in, arms tucked up around her back.

It ends all too soon.

“Be good and go cuddle up to him, alright? Keep my spot warm,” Tess says, patting your cheek.

You nod, brain fuzzed over with the siren song of sleep.

Joel startles when you slip back into the room.

“Is this okay?” you say.

He blinks up at you with sore eyes and nods, peeling back the duvet for you.

You strip down. No one had said to, but you don’t feel right being clothed when he isn’t.

When you’re pressed against his warm body, he wraps an arm around you, and you sigh in tandem.

When you wake, the room is silent save for the light breaths of your companions. Moonlight refracts off the fresh banks of snow and scatters through the blinds. The city holds its breath and waits for the sun.

You lie as quiet as the streets. At some point, despite her quip about warming her spot, Tess slipped into the bed behind Joel. Her arm is snug around his waist in the way that his is around yours.

The moment is not lost on you. These two predators in symbiosis, lax and peaceful. You’re ever the ensnared dinner guest. Their places here are natural, and you… you’re scared. Scared of the way your heart is fighting to escape its cage and lay itself on their plates.

You either have to let it, or you have to run.

Joel wakes when you try to extract yourself from the bed, but he relaxes his grasp when you whisper something about the bathroom. He kisses the nape of your neck and lets you free. It’s not a lie, really. You do use their bathroom, and then you turn the light off and wait until you think he’s fully asleep again before you slip out.

It’s a longer trek home, what with having to sneak around. You’ve never been out past curfew before, and you really, really do not want to know what lockup is like.

But you don’t see much of FEDRA, and before long, you’re nearly outside your apartment building.

It wasn’t FEDRA you should have been looking out for, though.

next chapter

*title from "Duality" by Bayside

pls feel free to tell me how you feel 😬

[vanwritesfan-fiction]

I have a concept you know how Druski has those blind date streams what if thats how you met Jack or something ?

I'm going to go with you're secretly dating Jack, but no one knows so Druski puts you on one of these "blind dates" and Jack gets jealous, hence the creeper picture below 😂

Linking an example here in case anyone hasn't seen one of the videos before (Jack starts being a creeper around 38:52 lol and Urban has one of the dates at 47:55):

You and Jack had been secretly dating each other for about 4 months when Druski invited you both over his place for a house party, no idea the two of you were together.

"Who's up next for their blind date?" Druski called out to the room of people, most people ducking, not wanting to be embarrassed in front of a thousand people on Druski's twitch stream. Jack was across the room on his phone, leaving you to stand in the corner because you really didn't know anyone and couldn’t hang around Jack for fear that someone would put two and two together.

You were getting tired of sneaking around, not being able to tell people how much you cared about Jack, and thought it would be good to make him sweat a little, if only for your enjoyment.

"I'll go!" You made your way to the chair set up in the living room, Jack watching you with wide eyes. The last thing he wanted was to see his girl get interrogated about her sex life, especially on a blind date with someone else.

The room went dark as someone slipped a blindfold over your eyes, another person strapping you to the lie detector machine.

"Alright, Y/N. We're gonna ask you some questions, see if you're compatible with your date across from you. The lie detector will let us know if you're telling the truth. You ready?"

You shifted in your seat, unaware that Jack was pacing the room, his eyes never leaving you.

"Alright, guy first. Ask your question."

"You ever had a one night stand?" You didn't recognize the voice.

"Yes." You nodded, even though the other person couldn't see you.

"I told you she was freaky." Druski laughed, taking a sip from his drink.

"What's your body count?" Jack perked up at that question, moving to stand right by you. At this point he didn't care, he just needed to hear the answer to this question.

"She's taking too long to answer", someone chimed in, "Its either high or she's lying." Everyone in the room laughed, well everyone except Jack.

"Five. My body count is five."

"Damn, that's high." Jack covered his mouth as soon as the words slipped out but you had already heard him. Your chest tightened, embarrassed that he felt that way.

"I think I'm done." You slipped off the blindfold, handing it to Druski before you headed upstairs for the bathroom. Jack followed behind you, stopping the door before you could close it all the way.

"Damn that's high", you repeated Jack's words in a mocking tone, fixing your makeup in the mirror.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

"No you did. You're one to talk by the way, your body count is double digits."

He ignored your dig. "So who were these four other guys?" Jack was still jealous, he could try to make it up to you later.

"I'm not answering that. Its none of your business."

"Were they better than me?"

You backed away from the sink, looking at Jack, your eyebrows raised in confusion. "What?"

"Don't make me say it."

"You're gonna have to, because I don't know what you're talking about." You gave him a sly grin, enjoying how much he was squirming.

"Where they better at sex than me?" He mumbled out the words, avoiding eye contact with you.

"Were any of the girls you slept with better than me?"

"Honestly, no. You're literally the best I've ever had."

"Aww, that's really sweet." You patted his cheek, placing a kiss on his lips as you left the bathroom. Jack was right behind you.

"Baby, this is the part where you say I was better than those other guys. Baby?"

[shittysawtraps]

hello person who spawn camped me and my teammate for at least a minute straight over 10 minecraft diamonds.

you will be spawn camped for the same amount of time as you spawn camped both me and my teammate. you will be strapped to a 100% accurate lie detector. you will be forced to answer the question of if you enjoyed being spawn camped. any answer perceived as wrong, or if you are lying, will cause the machine to turn into an electric chair. if you truthfully give a good answer, i will let you free. you may not appeal this decision you asshole

[iconsumethesoulsofthedamned]

SO ABOUT THE SAW TRAP (im going to try to keep this short bc i guess this thing has a word limit)

I have only ever seen one entire saw film, so this is going to be beyond innacurate.

I still think Kramer would not entrap Hannibal, but as it is I think at the very least he would not want to humiliate him (whatever that means for Kramer). I think he'd follow the Verger fashion, taking Mason's silly Pig Pit and making it even sillier, ex. strapping him horizontally above an even deeper pi -think an elevator, but it only has one way down to a pit of murderous pigs, and instead of calmly going down it just falls until you reach another level/stop- hold on i gotta draw this bc I'm making shit sense.

There. So Kramer would be like, "Okay, pretty boy, is going to take a walk down one of your palace's halls, and you're going to open some doors for me," which translates to he's going to ask questions, Hannibal's gonna answer them. Said answer will be recorded for later to be handed anonymously to the authorities.

In order to avoid Hannibal lying his ass off, of course, he would have installed a lying detector directly into his heart (maybe he opened a hole in his back for it, idk man this is saw). Every time we lie, our heart does that thing hearts do when we lie; since Hannibal can't control his pupils, I'm guessing he can't control his heartbeat either.

Now, he's asked a number of invasive questions (if we had more characters, as it usually is in saw films, Kramer would've most likely made the others read the questions aloud from cards like some sort of macabre TV contest)

He lies, the detector notices, he goes one level down.

He tells the truth; he stays on the same level, but then the authorities would have proof of his barbiest hobbies, and once he gets out of the trap or whatever, it is only a matter of time until he has to either run off or be caught.

He can't choose not to answer. Well, he can, of course, but there's a timer, and once the time runs out, the lying detector on his heart will automatically stop it (this is the " no humiliation" part of the deal. He can choose to just die of a heart attack now, rather than being chewed by pigs or running away to lick his wounds)

This is the shittiest saw trap ever, it probably has one fatal flaw that throws everything out of the window, but I haven't even seen the films, and I am not John Kramer man, I'm, just a girl.

Now, how would Hamball make it out? What would he do? I want to hear your opinion :P

Ok so my idea is that he’d answer really vaugly. He’d tell the truth but in an extremely long winded and complicated way. He has extremely good control over himself and words so he’d just say stuff that was true and answered the question but extremely vaguely.

Then if there was a question he couldn’t successfully just like talk his way out of making sense he’d let it go down.

I also believe he’d be trying buy time.

I think a main goal of his would be time. Wearing the guy down so he could judge his weaknesses and just talking a lot. He also has a need to be in control of the situation so he’d try to get annoying so he could feel like he was getting a one up on them.

I think he’d also count on Will to try and come get him if he could stall for long enough. Hannibal is always under the impression that Will WILL eventually come to his rescue. and if Will could so much as cut Hannibal out of the trap then everyone involved better run.

And for my final and most likely and cannon answer there’s a very good chance that he’d just straight up answer the questions and then count on his manipulation skills to get him out of it when the cops get the answers. Like ‘oh no Jack he forced me to say that ignore the fact that it was a lie detector you just don’t understand’ and with his luck? God damn it it’d probably work.

[hychlorions]

you said that the way apollo's bracelet is handled is your biggest pet peeve... how so? im curious

well if you really want to know ! the truth-detecting gadgets in ace attorney is my most.... niche interest, i want to say. so strap in

apollo's bracelet (or thalassa's bracelets, if you want) aren't the "lie detector" part of the process. They're not even that magical, except for the fact that they can expand or shrink to the size of the user's wrist, i guess. zak gramarye explains this to phoenix in a line you can't skip in-game, which we see here

a lot of things i've seen, written or drawn or whatever, always seems to forget that that's all the bracelet shrinks/expands for. it doesn't tighten because there's a lie, and it doesn't loosen because you're telling the truth. I know it's such a minor detail that people that aren't me wouldn't really care, but I've seen stuff where apollo gets severe wrist pain from how tight the bracelet is, and stuff where his eyes aren't even open to see people's tics. neither of these are possible.

zak says the contractions are so minute they can't sense it on their own (hence the bracelet getting so tight it actually hurts is ???), and phoenix's phrasing (and the game mechanics of the bracelet in general) confirms they'd have to SEE the person getting tense in order to sense they're nervous/untruthful in the first place.

what's funny about zak saying the contractions are so tiny a gramarye can't sense them is that trucy can. my girl is so good at everything she trained herself to notice when she's tensing up. talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing. show-stopping.

small add-on, sometimes if you wear anything metal for long enough and don't take it off, you get this weird rash/dark patch of skin. apollo might even be told to "take it off for a little while." but considering everything would he even do that :// idk. food for thought

anyway with all this in mind, think of the possibilities!!! there are so many other things that could provide the same "truth-detecting" capabilities, so long as they're a perfect fit. like a tight watch maybe, or a ring 😏 if you wanna go that direction. (yes i've tried wearing a ring and flexing my fingers to see if it would tighten just to say apollo could maybe possibly use one like that)

[gen-incorrect]

Marin: How tall are you? Kazu, strapped to a lie detector: 6'8 in skates. Marin: How about not in skates? Kazu: ... I would have no idea. Marin: *Glances at Weller* Weller: *Looks up from monitor* He's telling the truth.

[suddenrundown]

the only thing i don't like about last night gus is that they reveal that somehow shawn and juliet have been dating 4 months. which means a time skip happened either between s5 finale and 6x1 or between 6x1 and 6x2, which makes more sense because why would lassiter wait 4 months to strap both shawn and juliet to the lie detector? anyway, either way its devastating to me personally. why would you make me miss any of that.

[thesiriusmoon]

The interview

Summary: Bonnie Mcbride is a young girl with her heart set on becoming an FBI agent, and has successfully secured an interview with the head of the BAU for an assistants job.

Main characters: Bonnie McBride (OC), Aaron Hotchner.

Side characters: Spencer Reid, Jennifer Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan, Jason Gideon, Penelope Garcia

Other: platonic, just for fun writing

Word count: 2k

The first of many things to come for this idea

——————————

Well the building was huge first and foremost. Her pencil skirt tight over her opaque tights, white blouse tucked neatly, and her blazer freshly ironed and still warm. Her emotional support book back over one arm.

For a year now, she was studying. Criminal justice. It was a piece of cake really. Every single word she read tattooed itself under her eyelids, there wasn’t a single thing she could forget. Which is how she’s ended up so far ahead so young. She couldn’t explain it. She skipped grades and was in college before she even knew it. All with one thing on her mind. Justice. Just as the course said. Not for any terrible reason however. She wanted to give her mother a life. One she was never able to grab for herself.

It was Bonnies deep secret. Her mother was a prostitute. Amongst other jobs here and there. She wanted to see her mother in a nice house rather than the shabby one they lived in right now. And with the money made from this assistant job she could really help!

So in she stepped and was blinded by how white everything was. So clean it was intimidating. She placed her bag through the metal detectors and took off her earrings to pass the test. Nodding politely towards the security guard who towered over her small body, and took her bag to the lift and pressed the number six button, and held her breath.

“Hey, are you lost?” A pretty young woman with straight blonde hair stopped with a concerned smile.

Bonnie shook her head. “No. Well- kind of. I’m looking for Agent Hotchner, I have an interview for an assistant job.” The woman laughed.

“Oh right! Sorry, my mistake. If you would like to follow me I’ll take you.” And Bonnie gladly did that, while admiring the framed pictures of men and women in uniform all over the walls.

“What’s your name? Excuse me for being so rude there.”

“Bonnie.” She smiled with rosy lips, already liking this woman.

“Nice to meet you Bonnie. My names Jennifer but everyone calls me JJ.”

“Jennifer… that’s really nice.”

“Why thank you!” Jennifer giggled and led Bonnie through the glass doors for the BAU, and she was met with many people older than herself working at desks.

“Agent Hotchners office is that one at the top, just knock and he’ll answer.” With that, Jennifer gave Bonnie a supportive thumbs up before heading back out the way they came in.

Before Bonnie could thank her, being too overwhelmed with the authority surrounding her. Every person in here must have a gun on them, and she found herself standing and wondering if she made one wrong footstep would they draw them?

Eventually she knocked on the door, and a “come in!” Was heard.

This was it!

“Hello, I’m Bonnie, I’m here for your assistant interview?”

“Assistant interview? I didn’t know I had one.” Bonnie froze awkwardly, stroking the strap of her book bag.

“Oh… uhm, I have the paperwork here if you’d like to take a look sir.” She took the neat unfolded paper from her bag and approached the desk while this man stared at her confused, but took the paper.

“Oh… right well, have a seat then. Sorry for the confusion.” She tried to laugh it off but all the confidence she had seemed to drain out of her and was replaced with blush. “If you just give me one minute.” And he excused himself out of his office, leaving her to fidget with her bag strap once more.

He really did come back in a minute, and she jumped not hearing him come back in.

“So… I won’t lie to you I had no idea there was an assistant interview, it was my other coworker who decided to set it up, but I’m more than happy to follow through with this if that’s still what you want.”

Bonnie nodded. “I’d like that sir.”

“So…” he began to read her CV. “Bonnie McBride? Scottish?”

“Yes sir.” Her accent sounded thicker now that she were on the spot.

“Only eighteen?”

“Yes sir. October thirty.”

“And you’ve already been enrolled in criminal justice?”

“Yes sir. Started when I was sixteen in Georgetown. One more year to go if I keep doing what I’m doing.”

“And what are your plans for after?”

She felt a little embarrassed talking to the unit chief who was clearly very successful in what he did. “I wish to become an FBI agent.” To which she thought he almost smiled.

“Well you’re heading in the right direction that’s for sure… and why would you want to be an assistant here?”

“Because… I really appreciate the work that yourself and your team do. I would like to be able to give something back whether that be filing things so you won’t have to stress or always being on hand if someone needs something like a drink or-“

“Not because you’re a spy?”

Bonnies eyes widened comically and her jaw dropped. Agent Hotchner was so serious she thought he was going to draw his weapon until he laughed.

“I’m just kidding. You seem like a lovely girl but I’m worried that what you may see in here will affect you negatively.”

“Don’t worry about that sir! I wish to work in law enforcement and will have to get used to it sooner or later won’t I?”

“I understand… but what about your studies? We can be away for days, weeks, or even months at a time.”

“There’s the option of online courses which I’m set to apply for if… if I’m successful in this interview.”

“Well… convince me then. How will you assist us.”

Us. He said. Not just him.

“I’d get to know everyone. What they and what they dislike. I’m quick on my feet and make terrific coffee, best ever if I do say so myself. I can read a room like a book and I love organising and cleaning, one of my hobbies actually! I’m great with computers and my time management, I’m never late for anything only early. And if need be I can also stay out of the way, do my work until my phone pings for me to set off!”

Agent Hotchner listened intently before his eyes averted towards the blinds in his office.

“Come up here, and tell me what you see.”

Nervously, she followed and peeked through the window.

“The other agents?”

“Yes but, you said you could read a room. Prove it to me.”

She swallowed hard, and her attention landed on a skinny boy who was spinning on his chair.

“That man there, with the curly hair spinning on his chair, that must be a way to relax or concentrate as the motion of the air and dizziness of the head takes away anything else surrounding. His hand at clasped bear his face, he’s thinking. Oh- now he’s writing, very quickly at that. He’s onto something.”

Agent Hotchner nodded.

“And that man there.” Now she was looking at the broad shouldered man with a cup of something in his hand. “The way here hold himself, the mug in one hand the other on his hip. He’s confident. He doesn’t need two hand to steady whatever’s in his cup because he moves so swiftly. The hand on the hip can also be defensive. He’s brave and looking for danger, maybe even trying to be intimidating as if to say ‘don’t even think about it.’ And he obviously works out! His shoulders are very big…” she began to lose track.

Right up until she saw Jennifer.

“And there’s Jennifer! I met her after the lift up. She’s very kind and maybe even worries a lot about others, seeing as she had approached me to ask if I was lost. She cares a lot about others and is looking over peoples shoulders to make sure they’re working. Very passionate about her job and work, because she knows that what they do affects others.”

An older man exited one of the offices.

“That man… walks fast, he has places to go and things to do. Hardly takes a break. Maybe a little stressed but at the end of the day takes a lot of pride in his work because of how hard he works to help people. He looks authoritative, been here a while. Knows the place inside and out he doesn’t have to look where he’s going…”

“That’s Jason Gideon. Former unit chief. A legacy left behind but he’s still going.”

Bonnie felt very proud of herself.

“Oh! And what about her.” The agent pointed to a plump girl with crazy blonde hair and red high heeled earrings dangling over her shoulders, matching the shoes on her feet.

“Hm…” she thought hard.

“Unique. She’s herself at all times. She only cares about what she thinks of herself and-“ she watched the woman lean a hand on top of the broad shouldered man’s desk. “Fancies that man?” Agent Hotchner snorted, and physically wiped the smirk off his face.

“Yes it does seem that way doesn’t it? But I can assure you they’re just the best of friends.”

Then yet another woman who Bonnie swore would be the last she profiled was very attractive. Black hair curled not very long, but she couldn’t get anything for this woman. Nothing. “I have no idea about that woman.”

“That’s Emily. She’s sealed like a safe.”

“Secretive? Defensive?”

“Something like that yes.” The Agent sighed. “Well, now for the next test. How good is your coffee really?”

“Very sir.” She smiled, and he led the way out of the door and into the office again.

Each of the peoples heads she had talked about turned to their direction and she pretended that she didn’t notice how they all started whispering.

She only focused on the mug in front of her.

“Do you like it light, normal, or strong?”

“Strong.” She scooped three teaspoons into the mug.

“Sugar?”

“No thanks.”

She added a little hot water and mixed it was all dissolved.

“Milk?”

“No thanks.”

“You look like an americano guy.”

“Oh really? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh sorry sir! I didn’t mean it as an insult.”

“No it’s fine. I’d like to know why though.”

Bonnie wished she hadn’t spoke at all.

“Well… you keep a straight face. Being the boss you have to remain on guard and professional. No time for fun and games when lives are at stake. And maybe the strong coffee keeps you up for the day and the lack of sugar and milk would mean that you just want to taste the coffee, rather than something else. Because the thought of drinking just coffee acts as a placebo to heighten your awareness. Milk and sugar would falter that.”

“I’m actually just lactose intolerant. But you’re right about the sugar. I like the bitter taste because it reminds me I’m drinking coffee which includes caffeine. The sugar distracts me.” The agent was smiling.

Bonnie laughed and handed the man the cup she had prepared after stirring more water in to almost the top, anxiously waiting his reaction.

He brought it to his rough lips and hummed. “That is quite good actually… Bonnie, I’ve made up my mind.”

Everything had went very well so far… she crossed his fingers.

Instead of speaking, she led her to the group of desks where the agents had disbanded back to their work after their boss began approaching. Except from the man called Jason Gideon.

“Everyone, I’d like you to welcome Bonnie to our team. She’s our new assistant.”

“Well done Bonnie!” Jennifer grinned.

“Welcome to the team kid.” Said the broad man’s who’s desk read ‘Derek Morgan.’

Then the spinning man, ‘Spencer Reid.’ “Good job!”

“Hope you’ll enjoy it here!” The attractive woman chuckled.

“It’s great! Never a boring day!” The woman with the crazy earrings clapped her hands.

“I knew you’d love an assistant Aaron.” Jason laughed.

[cuculine-nelipot]

I just need an interviewer to hardball David Jenkins. Ask him about all those massive plot and character inconsistencies. Strap him to a lie detector.

[reachingfortheday]

lie detectors are total junk science but boy do i love watching celebrities who are real life friends crack each other up over answering questions while strapped to a lie detector