#.｡.:*☆ I’M WAY TOO YOUNG TO FEEL THIS OLD

[theemporium]

🧸 Lando's baby being a music lover just like their mum!!! (i love music everything, playing, singing, making GIMME EVERYTHING) also ilysm cece, you're such an angel

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

It became clear at a young age that little Margot Norris adored music.

It never mattered the song or the artist or the genre of music, any form of it seemed to calm her down in a way that seemed like a miracle when it came to babies. Lando had made countless jokes that it was because of all the different genres you would listen to when you were pregnant. He joked that she had spent most of her time inside you being surrounded by music that only followed her into her own life. 

He joked but it wasn’t really a joke. 

Margot Norris was a carbon copy of you with her love for music. She seemed to take after her mother in the way she craved it, the way she desired it, the way she gravitated towards it. And it made Lando’s heart clench so tight in his chest, he thought it was going to explode. 

“Daddy likes music too,” he spoke to the baby in his lap as he set up the control board in front of him. “Daddy used to be a DJ, you know? People loved it, honey. They went crazy for my music.”

Margot babbled like she understood what he said. 

Lando grinned widely. “Yeah, exactly. You get it, smarty pants. And look, Daddy still has all his old equipment he can teach you.” 

Whilst he knew Margot was still far too young to show any understanding in the words or instructions he was giving her as a six month old, it still warmed his heart to watch her reach for the same buttons he just pressed like it was a game. It made him feel like her music obsession was a little bit of him too.

“What are you doing?”

It almost made you laugh the way both of their heads snapped up at the sound of your voice. 

“I’m making my girl a DJ prodigy,” Lando said proudly as he glanced down at the baby in his lap, her head tilting back to look at him. “Isn’t that right, honey? M’gonna make you the next Steve Aoki.”

You snorted. “What if she wants to do classical music?”

“I bet that can be DJ-ed too,” Lando said with a shrug of his shoulders before he leaned down to press chaste kisses on Margot’s chubby cheeks. “You are gonna be the best DJ this world has ever seen.” 

“So you’ve already given up on making her a racer?” You teased as you wandered deeper into the room, taking a seat by Lando beside all of his DJ equipment surrounding him on the floor.

“Of course not,” Lando scoffed. “She just needs a hobby until she’s old enough to go in a kart.”

You shook your head, though you were smiling. “A DJ prodigy and a racing prodigy,” you mused as you let out a low whistle. “We’ve made a daughter with many talents.”

Lando puffed his chest. “She gets it from me.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, baby.” 

“I thought a good wife was meant to further her husband’s delusion.”

“Not this time, babe.”

.

[sytoran]

pretty woman | teom part ii

You receive a nice welcoming gift. Feelings you thought were long gone begin to surface.

──── PAIRING. sub!milf!wanda x dark!player!reader

──── CONT. established wandavision, heavy flirting, thirsting, unresolved sexual tension, reader uses she/they pronouns, tommy and billy ship it

──── WORD COUNT. 2.0k

series m.list | main m.list | join the taglist | AO3

“Mom, mom! Let’s go and meet the new neighbour!”

“Can we show her Sparky? Please?”

Wanda nods to her boys, trying to get them to calm down. Her seven-year-olds were far too energetic and lively, and sometimes taking care of them was excessively taxing. But of course, Vision was rarely there to help.

Shooing the boys away for the moment, despite cries of protest, Wanda escapes into the kitchen to finish her housewarming gift for you.

It had been a day since that incident, and Wanda had just gotten over her initial embarrassment.

Wanda wipes the sweat off her forehead as she uses oven mittens to take the baked cookies out of the oven. She sighs in relief to see that they turned out alright. It took Wanda about three tries to get it right. (No, she wasn’t trying hard to impress you. Obviously.)

The scent of the melted chocolate chips wafts over the house. “Want one!” Billy screeches, bounding over to the kitchen in record timing at the smell. He goes to grab at a cookie, before letting a cry and dropping it when he realizes just how hot it was.

Tommy, following closely behind his brother, bursts into shrieks of laughter. “You’re so stupid!” he yells, as Sparky — their dog — barks vehemently in agreement. Billy pouts.

Wanda rolls her eyes, letting out an exhausted huff. All this over a woman you held eye contact with for three seconds. Way to go, wanda. Your marriage with your husband is thriving.

After about half an hour, Wanda deems herself presentable enough to show up next door without foolishly embarrassing herself. The boys sprint over in record time, ringing on their new neighbours’ doorbell.

“Oh, hang on! gimme a moment!” A voice yells from inside. Wanda holds her breath in unexpected anticipation, internally dying to actually see you for the first time. Would you remember her staring from your window? I mean, of course you would, there was no doubt about that — but you had just looked so-

“Pretty.”

Wanda chokes on air, and you’re pretty sure you do as well. The word that had filled the silence was words of your own, blurted out the moment you set your eyes on her.

“Yeah, my mom’s pretty,” Tommy says nonchalantly, flicking his dark hair with a childishly aloof expression. Billy merely giggles, shoving his brother, raising his eyebrows at you like he knew something.

You, on the other hand, are lost in your trance of checking out your neighbour you briefly saw the previous day. Naturally, you just had a stronger attraction to women older than you, with their curves and edges and breasts and motherly eyes and the way they cared for their young children — Wanda was currently ticking all of the boxes in your fantasy like she could read your mind, and your eyes kept going back to her damn cleavage, because who the hell allowed her to wear such a low-cut shirt that pulled at all the right angles?

“I’m Y/N L/N, pleasure to meet you,” You manage to spit out after what seemed like an eternity. Your voice was definitely too hoarse, but you played it off like it was due to sleep deprivation in the morning.

When you try to make eye contact with the woman again, you realise she’s looking elsewhere. The ‘elsewhere’ in question, happens to be your partially-clothed body. You smirk inwardly, for you hadn’t been the only one ogling.

Wanda had been running her experienced eyes run over your messily-tousled hair and black sports bra and the glorious artifact that is your sculpted torso. She harbours the criminal urge to run her palms all over it, and trace your chiseled v-line that goes into hiding beyond your grey sweatpants. Wanda’s mouth dries up. she has to consciously snap her jaw shut or else she would’ve been ogling at you for an eternity.

Finally managing to tear her eyes off your distracting physique, Wanda’s greeted with the sight of your mischievous grin and twinkling eyes. Caught. The brunette woman shifts her footing in embarrassment, brushing at a stray lock of hair.

You chance a quick wink at her, just like the day before, and Wanda flushes from head to toe. Cute.

This time, you choose the safe option, to send the boys a friendly grin – they're her children, you deduce. “I’m Tommy,” a blonde boy announces cheekily, and his dark-haired brother shoves him in retaliation. “No, I’m Tommy.” he corrects, folding his arms and then sticking his tongue out at his brother. “His name is Little Prat.”

“Oi! That’s rude!”

“You started it, dude.”

“Boys!” the woman calls out in exasperation, looking at them with a mildly disappointed and evidently tired expression. She glances at you wearily, and you smile in understanding.

“Why don’t you guys come on in and watch some TV? There’s still some boxes around, but I’ve cleaned out the place and the sofa is pretty comfy,” you suggest, meeting Wanda’s eyes in search for approval. She nods, letting out a sigh of relief for the escape.

Almost immediately, the boys stop arguing and sprint inside with shouts of ‘my show!’. The brunette looks at them fondly, a small smile on her face. You think you’d like to make her smile like that. Gratefully, she turns to you. “Thank you for that,” she murmurs sincerely.

“My pleasure. Also, am i going to get to know your name, or am I going to be kept in the dark?” you tease.

“Right,” Wanda responds sheepishly, forgetting she hadn’t introduced herself yet. She clears her throat, determined to get it right this time. “I’m Wanda Maximoff, and we live just next door. But you already knew that. As a housewarming gift, I actually baked some chocolate chip cookies, if you’d like them.”

“Oh wow, Wanda,” you say, as she hands over a paper bag with containers of cookies. “Damn, if I get food like this all the time I’ll stay here forever.”

Wanda giggles, then grows internal fear at the fact she just giggled. Like, what was that? A giggle? Seriously? Way to impress the hot neighbour, Wanda. Wait, why am I trying to impress the hot neighbour? I’m married!

You move to hold the door open for her. Chivalry, Am i right? As Wanda walks past you, your eyes fall to the curve of her ass. Nope, still a whore for hot moms.

After pulling back a chair for Wanda at the dining table and bringing her hot coffee, you sit down beside her, glancing over at the boys. They’re invested in an episode of Phineas and Ferb. You recognize it as the one from Season Three where Doofenshmirtz creates the Stain-inator to ruin the town mayor’s painting. Hey, don’t blame me for having a young soul — Phineas and Ferb is for all ages.

“You’re so good to the kids,” Wanda says softly, hauling you out of your temporal trance. Once again, you’re reminded of Wanda’s effortless beauty, with her small hands cradling the steaming coffee mug, long eyelashes fluttering as she blows at the hot beverage.

“Is that hard to believe?” you respond slowly, eyes trailing over her expression. Wanda’s face morphs from a relaxed one to another that is clouded with trouble and burdens. You frown in concern.

“Well,” Wanda hesitates. “I suppose so. I’m not used to someone caring for my boys so blatantly and openly. Their father…… is not always present. He’s busy all the time. His head is always tucked down, and I’m just scared that by the time he looks up again, the boys won’t be waiting with an eager smile anymore. Sometimes I wonder, if he’s married to me or his job.”

You absorb this information with a growing frown, jaw clicking as it clenches. You decide that you do not like Wanda Maximoff’s husband.

For the first time in a long time, your chest flares, and your inner demons crawl, clawing in…… Possessiveness? Jealousy? Anger? You physically shudder, and Wanda notices.

“Sorry,” she says hurriedly, looking down in shame. “I shouldn’t have told you all that, you must think of me as a terrible mother now. I’m so sorry–”

“Don’t be,” you interrupt, placing a hand on her thigh. “I just…… your husband sounds like an asshole, with all due respect.”

Wanda laughs, a trinkle of a melody, and you calm down. “Thank you,” she murmurs softly, batting her lashes while looking at you. You’re pretty sure she doesn’t even know what it does to you.

Well, you could have your fun as well.

You take your time with it, using your thumb to brush against the skin of her thigh, under the guise of comforting a friend. You pretend not to notice how wanda fidgets under your touch, pressing her legs together and blushing a whole lot more.

This hardly does anything to satiate your true urges. Wanda turns to you with a curious gaze, almost innocent. You try to shove it down, try to quell it, but you’re growing ravenous. She opens her mouth, asking you something. You don’t hear it, you’re too busy staring at her lips.

“...Are you even listening to me?” Wanda asks with an adorable smile, shaking her head at you in faux disappointment.

“Nope,” you answer boldly with a cheeky smile, sliding your hand further up her thigh, knuckles brushing against the hem of skirt. You delight in the way Wanda’s breath hitches, conflicting emotions flickering across her pretty face. You want more.

Your left foot hooks around the leg of her chair, dragging it closer to yours. Wanda looks up at you, frozen. She still hasn’t moved from your grasp.

“Tell me more about you,” you ask, with an innocent smile, As if you hadn’t been the causation of Wanda’s inner turmoil. “I’d like to get to know my neighbour better, hm?”

“Uhm,” Wanda begins, not knowing how to act with the close proximity. She hates how her thighs are clenching, how she seems to be sweating abnormally. “I-”

“Momma! It’s time to go home, Sparky needs to go for his walk,” Billy states, shattering the moment in a matter of milliseconds. Wanda doesn’t know how your hand disappears from the territory of her thighs so quickly, but she already misses your fleeting touch.

When she snaps out of it, you’re already chattering excitedly with boys, playing up to their energies exceedingly well. It’s highly evident that her boys enjoy your company, but Wanda is at a loss of how you’re acting as if your hand hadn’t just been inches from her underwear a few moments ago.

What’s more jarring is the fact that her panties were damp, even, with the evanescent presence of your ring-adorned fingers.

‘You’re a woman with needs, it’s normal,’ Wanda tells herself, shaking off her intrusive thoughts. ‘Vision doesn’t want sex, but you have to respect that.’

But then Wanda looks at the way you scoop up both Tommy and Billy with an effortless ease, then spinning them around, your biceps seemingly blinding with the reflection of the light. Or maybe that was her own wilding imagination.

Wanda clears her throat in an attempt to find a semblance of composure. She ushers Tommy and Billy out the door with a newfound haste, disliking the storm of conflict within her. “Be sure to give me a call if you need anything,” Wanda adds, daring herself to make eye contact with you. You’d exchanged numbers earlier.

“Oh, I’ll call you,” comes your witty reply, and a quick wink.

The brunette looks away, knowing the tips of her ears are burning. Damn it, get it together, woman.

You lean against the cashew-coloured doorframe with your arms folded across your chest, watching Wanda chastising the boys’ rowdiness as they walk back to their own place.

As you expect, just before she escapes back into the comfort of her own home, Wanda chances a look back at your front porch. When the brunette realizes you were still watching, she fumbles flusteredly.

‘Pretty’, you mouth to the older woman once again, then lifting up a hand to blow her a flirtatious kiss. You duck back into your house before Wanda can even react, unable to stop the sides of your mouth from tugging up into a stifled chortle.

With Wanda Maximoff living right next door, your time spent at Westview was guaranteed to be a rather eventful one.

taglist: @natashamaximoff69 @ohsugar-honey-iced-tea @fayhar @bibliophilicbi @screechcat @rowanyaboats @nahnahnahwhat @the-night-owl-blr @nemowevoli @wannabe-fic-reader @natsxwife @wandsmxmff @enanna-h @jemilyswhor3 @manyfandomsfanvergent @scarsw1fe @jlsammy23 @spongebobs-tie1 @kiyozoe6778 @girllcver @natashaswife4125 @godsfavouritelesbiann @ezay @forthelesbians @wlwfanfictionss @forthelesbians @cowxpoke @supaheroine @saqua14 @olsensnpm @33-mrvl @kellyc30-blog @eatkobi @cqllarbones @lovelyy-moonlight @diannaswhore @shuriri4life @inluvwithfictionalwomen @Cooldogs02 @jedi-athen-orion @alyciaddict @blackqueensforeva @lovelyy-moonlight @gingerninja1993 @yourfavdummy @iliketigobities

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[johnslittlespoon]

leaving bikeriders anon here again i’m going crazy over the back and forth constant neither of them saying anything out of nervousness of it all like of COURSE it would take them forever to actually get together there would have to be an honest to god crisis a completely off-kilter situation for them to get together they’re so bad at communicating. also have not been able to get the thought of them running into each other by chance at a bar across town and even though bucky showed up with people he just ends up at a table in the corner with gale the whole night. gale jokingly asks if john is even old enough to drink which turns into a whole thing where john suddenly has to prove to gale that he CAN drink and he IS old enough and is Definitely Worthy of gale’s attention. anyways!

HIII i'm still ON one about this too dw

exactly my goddd the back and forth would be physically painful to write/read honestly lol the flirtation and the sexual tension!!

ur so right smth absolutely wild would have to happen, or one of them would have to slip up, or there'd have to be an argument where feelings are blurted out in anger/hurt, orrrr, in relation to your idea at the end which i'm going clinically insane over bee tee dubs:

john is so offended by the insinuation that he's too young to drink even if gale's joking, made worse probably by gale throwing in a kid– "you old enough to be in here, kid?" with the corner of his mouth quirking up a bit.

john puffs his chest out and tries not to let the one beer he's had slur his words, goes "'course i am" all huffy, rolls his eyes, reaches for gale's full shot glass while holding determined eye contact and tips it back without a second thought, really has to clench his fist in his lap for a second when it threatens to come right back up, not used to anything quite so harsh.

it's not gale's intention to egg him on like that, john's just bristly, a messy college kid used to bulldozing his way through life, never turning down a bet or challenge, has maybe been watching a pretty girl hang off gale's other side on top of everything and wants to prove that he can be exciting and mature too.

john ends up drinking too much, taking whatever shots the others in gale's group pass him for their entertainment until gale shuts the next person who tries down with a pointed glare, slides the shot glass away before john can reach for it, says "alright, we're cutting you off" when john whines out a complaint, leaning heavily against gale's side.

the night ends with gale helping john out of the bar because john's friends leave long before he does. he gets john out to the parking lot out front, gets him situated on the back of his motorcycle, keeps a hand on his shoulder and asks where home is, and john's like, "oh, no, can't go home like this buck, dad'll gimme a shiner" and gale's jaw clenches hard, but it's not the time to get angry.

he's at a loss, because he's not gonna bring john home to an environment he's had a faint suspicion isn't the greatest since they met (however that might have been, that's shit for me to plot out later lol) but bringing him to his house seems like a bad idea, but he's also not sure what to do and john's friends don't seem the greatest to just leave him with a borderline stranger. so what else is there to do?

"am i gonna have to tie you to me, or are you gonna hold on tight?" he asks as he climbs on the bike in front of john, and john giggles out a "y'can tie me to wh'tever y'want," filter completely gone from how sloshed he is, and gale looks to the sky and says a silent prayer because jesus fucking christ. what.

i'm like 99% certain that alcohol would be involved in a feelings confession, probably that night when it slips out from john's lips, so drunk he doesn't even realize it. nothing would happen that night, because gale's trying to be a responsible adult and he wants to make sure john's not just saying shit, but he's also quite forward, so he'd bring it up in the morning after he's brought john a water and some painkillers, and john would go so red and he'd drop his head into his hands and whisper an "oh my god" because he can't believe he's slipped up so bad.

and then yk. feelings–talk ensues. john is so mortified, he wants to die. gale is so enamoured but trying to be realistic about things. etc etc i'll flesh it all out eventually when it's time to start writing it >:)

[sydneyofalltrades]

okay bc @toooliix can’t let me have peace, y’all get the complete comprehensive dream roles list

(yes this was an old draft FUCK OFF)

trust me this is very long so if you don’t wanna see it just skip it 😭

1. jane doe/penny lamb from ride the cyclone

reasons why i want to play this character:

she’s ghostly and silly and deep

her song is fucking AMAZING

i wanna be a scary baby girliepop doll head

could i play her?: i can sing tbojd effortlessly and i’m a pretty decent actor. i may be poc but what’s that to a doll’s head

what’s stopping me?: i’m a teenager with absolutely no community theater doing this show

2. ricky potts from ride the cyclone

reasons why i want to play this character:

HE IS LITERALLY GENDER?? LOOK AT HIM

singing space age bachelor man every night would definitely heal some gender dysphoria i have

he’s a scrunkly goober who wears a super sparkly costume

i am genuinely an irl ricky (without the disability)

could i play him?: i can sing space age bachelor man and i’m masculine enough?

what’s stopping me?: afab and not physically disabled (i’m neurodivergent but no physical disability and i would never want to mischaracterize him)

3. noel gruber from ride the cyclone:

reasons why i want to play this character:

he is. my favorite.

he and i are lost souls

gender?? like hello??

could i play him?: i can sing his song and act his part. but i have very little confidence in my gender fluidity

what’s stopping me?: lack of confidence. and also afab

4. veronica sawyer from heathers the musical:

reasons why i want to play this character:

my dream role since i first got into musicals

she makes me feel confident in my own horrible love life and bad decisions

she’s a badass. point blank

could i play her?: DEFINITELY! gimme a day to learn the script and two hours for choreo and i will be ronnie sawyer

what’s stopping me?: lack of practice, money, and genuine resources

5. jason dean from heathers the musical

OKAY HEAR ME OUT

reasons why i want to play this character:

gay gay homosexual gay

genderbent jd means toxic yuri which is always appreciated

a sapphic meant to be yours would genuinely break me so why not be the one to do it?

could i play him?: even with being genderbent, i think i could give it a shot! his insane spiral might be challenging to play out but i love challenges!

what’s stopping me?: afab, lack of genderblind productions, broke as a bitch

6. whizzer brown from falsettos (specifically the 2016 revival)

reasons why i want to play this character:

HIS CONFIDENCE?? makes me skyrocket honestly

andrew rannells. that’s it

honestly would be interested in taking a gender blind take on him

could i play him?: with a binder, proper choreo, and a decent haircut sure! i surprisingly fit in the range and he’s been a dream role forever! i would do the show in the original script because his story is best told the way he is

what’s stopping me?: afab. also not jewish and couldn’t think of mischaracterizing

7. super swing from six the musical

reasons why i want to play this character:

any role in six has been a dream since i was 13! so why not dream bigger and want to cover ALL SIX!

since every queen is so diverse, i wanna have the chance to express myself in them all because honestly that would be phenomenal

in case i must reassure you, i actually can sing. and six the musical is my favorite to sing on occasion so i’m prepared

could i play this role?: in a couple years with a little experience under my belt maybe! super swings are becoming less and less of a need in theater so i’m not sure but one can hope

what’s stopping me?: too young, no super swings in the US

8. christine canigula from be more chill

reasons why i want to play this character:

christine is just like me! a neurodivergent theater lover!

she’s a ball of energy and a ray of sunshine, who wouldn’t want to play her?

i actually see myself in christine, and she’s an independent and kind and funny character i’d like to reshape

could i play her?: um? YES! no script needed, i can just jump right into it without delay, it would be fun and i have her memorized to a t

what’s stopping me?: no experience or opportunities

9. the s.q.u.i.p. from be more chill

another hear me out, y’all

reasons why i want to play this character:

gender. that’s it. it’s so gender

the pitiful children has been my favorite song from bmc the moment i first listened to it, if i could perform it once, it would be a dream

i’m an oldest sibling, i can boss people around without remorse

could i play it?: ALSO YES? lemme learn the five sentences of japanese and i will jump right in without fail. i actually have several of my own thoughts about performing as the s.q.u.i.p.

what’s stopping me?: afab (it looks like keanu reeves and i.. don’t), no experience, probably would be too excited

10. eurydice from hadestown

reasons why i want to play this character:

she’s my comfort character and her songs are so solemn and beautiful

always a pleasure being a leading lady, and having a mainly poc take on a character is always amazing

eurydice is such a complex character and i’d love to portray that

could i play her?: i’m really confident in my abilities! i sang a cover of flowers you can check out here, and it’s always fun getting to sing her lines in my room.

what’s stopping me?: well. money. and lack of experience

and that’s pretty much all of them! so there you have it!

[memestockpile]

fried green tomatoes  from the 1991 film. feel free to change as needed.

did you hear that?

you got a negative sense of direction. 

we brought you something.

don’t you know [name] loves you?

honey, i guess it’d be better if you wait out here for me. 

don’t you pitch a fit like that!

you sit and relax a while. i’ll tell you all about it.

you’re gonna be the most beautiful bride.

try to act a little grateful.

c’mon down, little bit. there’s no firing squad waiting for you.

you look awful nice in that.

i’m sick of people making fun of me. 

i’m not ever coming down for as long as i live. 

the hell with them.

i don’t know what we’d do without your generosity. 

gimme that, you rascal!

i had the biggest crush on him. 

come a little closer. i wanna give you something.

you know, a heart can be broken, but it still keeps beating just the same.

you’ll have to keep this blanket on or you’ll catch your death of cold, you hear me now?

i enjoyed talking to you, honey.

have you gone insane?

why don’t you come in and sit down at the table and have dinner with me?

you’re meaner than a damn snake. 

funny what you miss when you’re away from home.

god never shuts one door without opening another.

you a politician, or does lying run in your family?

put your money where your mouth is. 

well, look what the cat drug in!

who are you to boss me around?

turning your back on your family is not gonna help. 

i don’t want to walk that far back. 

don’t say “never” to me. 

we better get you to a doctor. 

why did you do that? you could have been killed. 

we’re gonna play some poker. 

i have never had so much fun in my whole life.

you gotta stop worrying about what people think. 

do you have a problem with your sexuality?

you look so grown up. 

where’d you get that shiner?

i’m gonna kill him.

you turn around and leave this minute, you understand?

you’re just a goofy girl, [name], a goofy girl.

i wouldn’t do that if i was you, mister. 

we’ll be talking about masturbation. 

excuse me, young man. there was no reason for you to be so rude to me. 

now, you tell me what’s bothering you, sugar. 

i just feel so useless. so, so powerless. 

a candy bar ain’t gonna hurt you none. 

i’m too young to be old and i’m too old to be young.

i used to burst into tears for no reason at all. 

sometimes i can’t wait to get into heaven to see him again. 

i’m talking to you as a friend. 

you’re gonna get yourself in a heap of trouble. 

see that piece of land over there? that used to be a lake. 

don’t be shy. tell me how you feel.

what in the name of christmas are you two doing?

i believe [name]’s been a bad influence on you.

promise me you won’t do anything crazy, no matter what. 

hey, little buddy. 

could i interest you in some pie?

i’ll arrest you faster than you can slap a tick.

you’d do anything for [name], wouldn’t you?

right now, i don’t know what to believe. 

i felt like i could beat the shit outta all those punks! 

how in the hell can you hit someone six times by accident?

if i was gonna kill you, i’d use my hands. 

hold your horses, honey. 

life has a funny way of working things out. 

let me fix you some lunch. 

ice cream and cake for everybody.

there’s a separate god for children.

look at me and let me see your face. 

you’re absolutely, unconditionally, positively the most stubborn person i’ve known in my life. 

that’s right, you gump-faced, blown-up, baboon-assed bastard!

you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth? 

if i live a thousand years, i will never forgive you. 

it takes time getting used to a strange place. 

you couldn’t be sweeter to me if you was my own daughter.

hold on, baby. i’m right here.

you’re gonna be back on your feet, feeling just fine, in just a few days. just you wait. 

what’s the matter, son?

did you get into a fight?

i got punched in the nose. 

you listen to everything i say, don’t you?

see, now is the time for courage. 

give me a big kiss then and i’ll never be sad again. 

you go and wash up. 

will you do one thing for me? be good to yourself. 

there’s so many things i want to say to you. 

tell me a story.

it’s alright, honey. 

i hate death. it scares me so. 

you’re so brave. 

it’s never gonna happen. so just forget about it. 

someone helped put a mirror up in front of my face, and i didn’t like what i saw one bit. you know what i did? i changed.

it never occured to me that you would take it this hard. 

i didn’t even get to say goodbye. 

i’m not a child. 

this is the first time i can remember when i don’t have a soul to look after.

you’re the reason i get up every morning. 

come on. i’ve got your room all ready. 

you’re a thickheaded son of a bitch, aren’t you?

come on, darling. come on, sweetheart. it’s all right. 

it was self-defense. 

you’re a good man. 

smells so damn good, i just can’t wait to get some. 

i thought it’d be best under the circumstances. 

are you pulling my leg?

truth’s a funny thing sometimes. 

i feel better now. 

you reminded me about what the most important thing in life is: friends. best friends. 

[baeklination]

Midsummer's Hay Day

Date: 220620

Warnings: SMUT 🔞, fingering, eating out, fucking, gen.expl.lang.

Pairing: Baekhyun x F. Reader

WC: 1,75k

NOTE: This is the same Baek as the one in Rockenrowla (Raunchette), but it can be read without reading that one first.

Masterlist

¤¤

The green pole goes up against the clear blue sky with cheers and applause. Yours too. Thinking it would be a fun - cute - thing to watch it’s brought you straight back to the excitement you always felt as a child seeing it raised and as if a wand had been waived everything suddenly has the glittering sheen of Midsummer. Everyone claps and hoots - except for Baekhyun. Standing against the shaded wall away from the crowd he smirks. Not in a condescending way, more in an amused way that everyone still finds such fun in it. 

Excusing yourself, you cross the lawn, noting that white shoes on lush summer grass wasn’t the smartest idea. 

“Oooh, who’s this guy, too cool to have fun?”

Blowing smoke out to his side he smiles. He almost flicks the stub away but catches himself and squashes it in a sand-filled tin jar at the corner of the building.

“Mom likes you”, he muses, hanging his arm over your shoulder as you walk.

“She’d like you too if you put in some effort…”

“Nah, she’d be overwhelmed if I changed my brooding ways…”

Of course Baekyun hasn’t been brooding and of course his mom likes - loves - him, this is just the battle of immersing yourself in some good, wholesome fun vs. wholesome in moderation you’ve had ever since Baekhyun saw your reaction when being invited. Of course it hadn’t just been about the holiday, but about seeing his childhood home, his family. Going round saying his hello’s to the old-timers they’d have at least one story each to share about his young self and it made him blush more than once. He even got rosier than you when they said you were pretty; he’d smile shyly, but proudly.

The sun had shone brightly but not too hotly since you arrived, making waking up and cracking the bedroom window open feel like you were stepping into the dreamstate and it’s no different now. Throwing a glance behind he takes you by the wrist:

“Come…”, he says excitedly, guiding you towards the barn. “I’ve always wanted to do this.”

Spotting a blanket haphazardly spread on one of the hay bales you know what he’s up to.

“I’m supposed to think it’s a coincidence?”

“No. While you were busy playing in the yard I snuck off to create this oasis of romance for us…”, he replies in a snobby voice, putting out his arms in ta-da. 

“Aren’t you gonna shut the door at least?”, you ask when he goes right in for the kiss after hoisting you up on romance central.

If anyone walked by they wouldn’t be able to see you from the path but they’d only have to pop their head in, perhaps looking for a lost guest. 

“Aeh… I’ll hear the gravel.” Cupping your face, he envelopes your lips. “It’s a bit exciting, no? They could be right there…having no idea what we’re doing right here…”

Words and sticky kisses alike win you over so you tug at his t-shirt. The skirt of your dress naturally rides up high on your thighs when you open them so he can come closer.

“I used to fantasize about sneaking in here with a girl.”

“Ha! Those old b-horror movies where the pretty couple wants a little privacy and the guy’s all come on, baby, suck my dick...” You can see it in front of you so well it makes you laugh.

“What movies have you been watching?”, he smiles, then comes close to your ear. He’s  practically drooling as he firmly puts his hand on your waist. “Come on, baby, gimme a little suck-”

“Ew! Do it yourself!”

“If I could…”, he purrs jokingly, then seamlessly goes back to sexy mode.

There’s always that moment before having sex when the kissing turns magnetic - as easy as the flick of a switch your bodies heat up and seem to pull towards one another. Already having your legs open doesn’t exactly lessen the urge, or the ease with which Baekhyun puts his hand between them, gently gracing over your panties with the back of his fingers. Without breaking your kiss you pull them to the side and gasp quietly when he starts pushing his finger in because - just like he said - it’s a bit exciting and naughty, discreetly pulling your underwear to the side so your boyfriend can play with your pussy.

When he’s pumped enough times to coat his finger he grabs them.

“No, what if someone comes, seriously.”

“They won’t…”, he hums, kissing your ear. “I’ll hear them…seriously. You were hugging my finger like you want more…”

You can’t always focus on the worst thing that could happen - sometimes it’s best to focus on the best. When you raise your body he slides them off and casually puts them in his back pocket before kneeling. When you lean back and see your naked waist the gear is shifted from naughty to pornographic (you’re the innocent milkmaid who couldn’t withstand the fiery charm of the farmhand) and it turns you on even more. Swallowing, you look towards the door, listen carefully for any close sound, but-

“Ah…” 

Baekhyun slides his two middle fingers in. He knows he doesn’t have all the time in the world so he starts at a medium pace, making sure to push tightly around your entrance when he’s all the way in. You part your folds and he happily accepts, taking over from you before lapping all over your clit. Well and finally in his own fantasy he lets loose, almost making as much noise as he does when he eats you out after drinking, groaning as he flicks his stiff tongue.

“Shh…” You try to tell him, but your vocal cords aren’t stable enough to continue.

“Mm…mh”, he moans, as if hearing but not caring, as he sucks and lets go of your clit.

Your entire chest jerks, unable to steady itself through the immense pleasure and your breaths come out in airy stutters.

“Ah-hh, Bae-khyun…oh...”, you mumble, placing your hand on his hair.

You almost don’t want to come. His lush lips and dripping tongue eating greedily while his fingers tirelessly fuck feels too good to give up. The best view is him between your legs, which he proves again by looking up at you. Seeing the way his tongue moves your clit around pushes you over the edge; understanding, he pumps harder, licks ferociously and rubs from above - choking, making a tight fist, you push down his head, spasming over his mouth, disbelieving the exalted explosion of pleasure.

You hear but don’t care about the scrunching of the gravel outside - you’ve only got senses for this licentious moment with Baekhyun, softly bucking against him and the way he catches your clit in a kiss when you round forward. 

Even when you stop he continues to slowly pump the fluids out of you as you stroke his hair, spent but still hungry for him.

¤

“And where do you think you’re going?”, Baekhyun asks, blocking your way. “Oasis two is that way.”

Of course it is. No hay barn fantasy could be complete without it - the loft. Picking the blanket up he smacks you on the ass.

“Go on.”

The steps creak when you walk up and well there the smell of hay is immensely stronger. It’s earthy yet fresh - a sort of smell that makes you nostalgic even though such memories aren’t in your brain files. He looks around, then points to some bales a bit further in, probably not visible from downstairs:

“That looks the right height.” Moving them a little to give you a place to rest your leg, he spreads the blanket out, patting it. “Romance, check.”

The chain connected to his belt clinks as he undoes his trousers and shoves them to the floor. It’s hard to resist putting the thick, juicy, head in your mouth so you do just that. Obviously not trying to make him climax you focus on the top half, enjoying tasting him and making him the leading role this time.

His belt drags heavily on the wood when he takes a few steps forward to put your leg over his shoulder. His length slides in smoothly, accompanied by a soft “um…”, and he doesn’t hesitate to press all the way to the hilt. After two, three, thrusts he sets his pace and begins pumping into you, his moves tickling small buzzes from the orgasm you just had.

“Uh, god…”, he sighs, closing his eyes.

As if unable to decide, his expression changes from slack jaw to faint smile within each breath, relishing the sensation of burying himself inside you. His palm presses on your inner thigh to keep your leg from bouncing forward too much from the impact while the other one just about touches your kneecap. Enjoying this rare opportunity, his thrusts aren’t forceful to begin with, just enough that you can hear the smacking, especially against the wet surface - but he soon lets go of your legs and grabs your dress instead. Holding it taut in his hands he thrusts faster and faster - this, anyone standing downstairs would hear.

“Agh, fuck…”, he groans to the ceiling, then focuses on watching his cock disappearing, his breaths getting shorter, the stretch of your dress tighter. “Ah-”

He pulls back, pumping his cum out to the side; he exhales hard through his nose to keep quiet, but even so a wanton groan slips past him as he caresses over the ridge to the head of his cock.

Shutting his eyes tight he opens his mouth and strokes it all out, pressing tightly against his shaft. When he opens them again he smiles at you like a man set free; pulling up his boxers, he gives himself a final squeeze.

“Mm.” He shakes his head and kisses you. “If I didn’t already know you were my dreamgirl…”

“Why'd you…shoot off?”

“So it won’t run out when you walk outta here.”

“But isn’t this…the horses food?”

“Oh, shit!”, he chuckles, opening his eyes wide and stretches the blanket to wipe.

When he straightens up again you freeze - his mom calling from below.

“There you are..! Playing cowboys when Y/N is helping out in the kitchen. Go give her a hand.”

(That’s where you were going before he got you off the path.) You cover your mouth to stop from laughing when Baekhyun crosses his arms and squints at you.

“Yes, mother…”, he calls back with sarcasm meant for you. 

“Wait”, you whisper and go for his back pocket, but he turns.

Biting his lip, as if thinking, he then releases it, shaking his head.

[posttexasstressdisorder]

Mental Illness On Parade!

The whole far-right religious movement is a fucking MASS PSYCHOSIS!

IT IS THE RESULT OF ASYMMETRICAL WARFARE,

INFORMATIONAL WARFARE.  They PREY upon the mentally unstable and most gullible, promising “eternal salvation” if they just hate all the right people and believe everything they’re told by their Glorious Leader.

This is sickness.  it is mental sickness, and it is gonna need to be addressed like the elephant in the room nobody is wanting to acknowledge.  These people are either gonna have to be just written off as hopelessly mind-fucked, or there has to be SOME KIND OF TRUTH AND RECONCILIATION/DEPROGRAMMING ACT that will FORCE these people to give it the fuck up, admit they aren’t ever gonna be in charge over the rest of us. 

Not now.  It’s over.  There is a definite feeling that the tide we’ve all been awaiting is turning.  The crisp and cool air has a tinge of positivitiy for the first time in a very long, dark, while.

It is going to take several more years to clean this shitshow up, and goddammit, if there is some sort of Truth and Reconciliation or Reconstruction 2.0, I wanna point out that I’ve been a keyboard warrior fighting for the correct side since a-fore any o’you Yungins was born. 

I’d like to be able to pull a decent government check from here at home.   I’m fightin’ here every day anyway.  Might as well get paid for it!  I’m OCD in many valuable ways.  I make dank memes, as they used to say.  I am always ready with a one-liner in response to any given situation.  I have Paul Schaefer Brain.  About just about everything I ever become interested in.  Deep dives.

I can comb through evidence.  I can see patterns.  I see machinations, just sitting here.  Pay me! I wouldn’t mind finally being what I have felt I’m still here for.  Yes, I rant like a demented old fool, but I’ve seen a lot, Babies.  Too much, if you ask certain parts of me.  I know things.  I’ve survived...things.

The blog name is a reference to real life: ptsd.

So..like, all you Official US Information Warfare guys, hey...gimme a shout with a job offer.  I’m tired of having to exist on crumbs and sell my things off just to survive.  See, Generation Jones Effect in full force:  we all BOUGHT the lie that we’d be able to retire in our mid-60s and have our own house and be comfortable.  And boy, howdy...were we taken for a ride.  We were the first “sub generation” to be rudely awakened.  Then came the full-on GenX kids, who were our nephews and nieces when we were young adults.

Generational Perspective is something that is valuable in this sort of work, I would think.  I’m creative, obsessive, and I can spot mistakes, with a certain wry voice reminiscent of Firesign Theater at their best.  Pay me.

[vatt-world]

song

A Foggy Day

Ain’t Misbehavin’

All Of Me

All The Things You Are

Almost Like Being In Love

Autumn Leaves

As Time Goes By

Bewitched

Bye Bye Blackbird

Can’t Take That Away

Cheek To Cheek

Choo Choo Cha Boogie

Come Rain Or Come Shine

Days Of Wine And Roses

Don’t Get Around Much

Embraceable You

Fly Me To The Moon

God Bless The Child

I Get A Kick Out Of You In The Mood

I Only Have Eyes For You

I Wish You Love

It Had To Be You

It’s Only A Paper Moon

I’ve Got You Under My Skin

Jump Jive and Wail

Just in Time

Just The Way You Look Tonight

Let’s Fall In Love

L.O.V.E.

Makin’ Whoopee

Misty

Moon River

More

My Funny Valentine

My Romance

Night And Day On a Clear Day

Our Love Is Here To Stay

Over The Rainbow

Route 66

Satin Doll

Someone To Watch Over Me

Stormy Weather

Summerwind

Take The A Train

Teach Me Tonight

The Lady Is A Tramp

The Nearness Of You

The Way You Look Tonight

There Will Never Be Another You

Unforgettable

Witchcraft

When I fall in Love

You Make Me Feel So Young

//

A Thousand Years

At Last

All Is Fair in Love

As Time Goes By

Baby I’m Yours

Beautiful In My Eyes

Because You Loved Me

Better Together

Brandy

Can’t Help Falling In Love

Can’t Make You Love Me

Can’t Take My Eyes off of You

Close To You

Close Your Eyes

Come Away With Me

Crazy Love

Days Like This

Daughters

Don’t Know Why

Don’t Let Me Be Lonely

Dreams

Falling Slowly

Faithfully

Feel Like Makin’ Love From This Moment

First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

From This Moment

Get Here

God Only Knows

Grow Old With You

Have I Told You Lately

Heaven

Hero

Home

How Do You Keep the Music

I Chose You

I Could Not Ask For More

I Believe In You and Me

I Hope You Dance

I Loved Her Face

I See The Light

If I Should Fall Behind

I Will Always Love You

I’ll Be There

I’ll Stand By You

In My Life

In My Father’s Eyes

In Your Eyes

Jersey Girl

Landslide

Love Is

Love You I Do

Into The Mystic Jersey Girl

Let’s Get It On

Lucky

Lovely Day

Making Memories Of Us

Moondance

My Baby You

My Wish

Ribbon In The Sky

Sarah Smile

Seven Days

She Keeps Me Warm

So Amazing

Song For Momma

Taking You Home

That’s My Daughter In The Water

The Greatest Love of All

The Luckiest

The Rose

Thinking Outloud

Tiny Dancer

To Make You Feel My Love

True Companion

Unchained Melody

Walk With You

We’ve Only Just Begun

What A Wonderful World

Wonderful Tonight

You And I

You Are So Beautiful

You Don’t Know Me

You Raise Me Up

You Send Me

Your My Best Friend

Your The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me

You’ll Be In My Heart

You’ve Got A Friend In Me

Your Song

///

Hot Hot Hot

I Shot The Sheriff

Is This Love

Jamaica, Jamaica

Jammin’

Let Them Be Fed

One Love

Red Red Wine

Stir It Up

Three Little Birds

Trenchtown Rock

//

Don’t Be Cruel

Do You Love Me

Hound Dog

Johnny B. Goode

Jailhouse Rock

Teenager In Love

The Twist

Peppermint Twist Rockin’ Robin

Rock Around The Clock

Roll Over Beethoven

Run Around Sue

Shake, Rattle & Roll

The Wanderer

Why Do Fools Fall In Lov

//

Build Me Up Buttercup

Barbara Ann

Donna

Don’t Be Cruel

Gimme Some Lovin’

God Only Knows

Hound Dog

I Love You More Today

…Than Yesterday

In The Still of The Night

Jailhouse Rock

Johnny B Goode Little Deuce Coup

Ooh Baby Baby

Only You

La Bamba

Mony Mony

Rockin’ Robin

Roll Over Beethoven

Run Around Sue

Sea of Love

Since I Fell For You

Surfer Girl Surfing USA

Sweet Caroline

Teach Me Tonight

Teenager in Love

The Twist

Tutti Fruiti

Twist & Shout

Unchained Melody

Why Do Fools Fall in Love

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow

You Belong To Me

//

ABC

Ain’t no Mountain High

Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing

Ain’t Too Proud Too Beg

Can’t Hurry Love

Chain of Fools

Dance To The Music

Dancing In The Streets

For Once In My Life

Get Ready

Grapevine

Hold On I’m Comin’

How Sweet It Is

Let’s Stay Together I Can’t Help Myself

(Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)

I Feel Good

I’ll Be There

I Want You Back

Keeps Me Hanging On

Knock On Wood

Let’s stay Together

My Girl

Midnight Hour

Mustang Sally

Natural Woman

Never Can Say Goodbye

Rescue Me

Respect Same Old Song

Shout

Signed, Sealed, Delivered

Sex Machine

Since I Fell for You

Soul Man

Stop In the Name

Sugar Pie Honey Bunch

Tears of A Clown

The Way You Do Things

Until You Come Back to Me

What’s Goin’ On

You Are The Sunshine Of My Life

You’re All I Need to Get By

Ain’t Nobody

Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now

Another Star

Bad Girls

Best of my Love

Boogie Oogie Oogie

Boogie wonderland

Billy Jean

Brick House

Dancing Queen

Dim all the Lights

Disco Inferno

Don’t Leave Me this Way

Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough

Do You Believe in Love

Everybody dance now

(Everybody everybody) Get Down Tonight

Give It To Me Baby

Good Times

Got To Be Real

Hot Stuff

I Will Survive

I’ll Be Around

I’m Every Woman

I Wish

I Wanna Dance With Somebody

Kiss

Last Dance

Let’s Groove Tonight

Love Train

1999

Oh What A Night

Play That Funky Music

Freak Out Stayin’ Alive

September

Shake Your Body Down

Shake your Groove Thing

Shining Star

Sing A Song

Sing A Simple Song

Sir Duke

That’s The Way Of The World

Turn the Beat Around

Waiting For Tonight

Wanna Be Startin’ Something

We Are Family

What Is Hip

What You Won’t Do For Love

YMCA

//

All Right Now

Bell Bottom Blues

Brown Eyed Girl

Centerfold

China Grove

Communication Breakdown

Day After Day

Domino

Do It Again

Glory Days

Honky Tonk Woman

It Keeps You Runnin’

Josie

Little Wing

Livin’ On A Prayer

Long Train Running

Message In The Bottle

Minute By Minute

Misty Mountain Hop

On The Edge of Seventeen

White Winged Dove

Peg

Purple Haze Reelin’ In the Years

Rock n Roll

Roxanne

Satisfaction

Sweet Home Alabama

Takin’ Care of Business

Tempted By The Fruit of Another

Tenth Ave Freezeout

You Shook Me All Night Long

Walk This Way

You Can Call Me Al

//

Ain’t No Other Man

All About That Bass

Bad Romance

Bang Bang

Beautiful Day

Believe

Blurred Lines

Born This Way

Call Me Maybe

Clarity

Crazy

Crazy In Love

Clocks

DJ’s Got Us Falling In Love Again

Domino

Don’t Stop The Music

Dynamite

Edge Of Glory

Elevation

Empire State Of Mind

Feel This Moment

Firework

Forget U

Get Lucky

Happy

Heaven

Hips Don’t Lie

How Far Is Heaven

Home

Hot N Cole

I Can’t Feel My Face

I Love It

I Need To Know

I’ve Got A Feeling

Just Dance

Let’s Get Loud

Life is a Highway

Locked Out of Heaven

Makes Me Wonder

Moves Like Jagger

No One

No Place I’d Rather Be

O.P.P.

Party Rocker

Pokerface

Raise Your Glass

Rehab

Royals

Shake It Off

Shut Up and Dance

Single Ladies

Smooth

Stay With Me

Sweet Thing

Sweet Dreams

Teenage Dream

The First Cut Is The Deepest

Thinking Out Loud

Time Of Our Lives

This Is How We Do it

Treasure

Umbrella

Uptown Funk

Use Somebody

We Found Love (In a Hopeless Place)

Yeah

//

Black Orpheus

Che Che Cole

Corcovado

Evil Ways

Girl From Ipanema

Guantanamera

La Murga

Oye Como Va

I Need to Know

I Wish You Love

Meditation One Note Samba

Quiet Nights

Shaker Song

Sunshine of my Life

Suavemente

The Look of Love

Triste

Watch What Happens

Wave

What a Difference a Day Makes

Caught Up In The Rapture

Creepin’

Smooth Operator

Sweet Thing

Sweetest Taboo

That’s Way of World

This Will Be

Til You Come

[glcmorarchived]

*bangs fists on table* whO is going to give me a meghan/harry plot

[misora-msby]

embarrassing moments with inarizaki

inarizaki always looks so cool but you know they’re actually dorks and i am here to provide you the content to show theyre clowns. enjoy the headcanons :)

Kita Shinsuke

firstly. kita shinsuke being embarrased? making a mistake? unheard of.

he’s a perfect man and we all know it.

anyways

you two were having a nice dinner out together. 

it was a pretty fancy place so you decided to dress in a different style today

but you were beginning to wonder if kita liked it or not because he seemed to keep looking past your shoulder instead of at you

he was an observant guy so you were wondering if something had happened behind you

but you couldn’t hear anything weird so you assumed not

you decided to just stay quiet about it at first but now it was beginning to become annoying! 

why wasn’t he looking you in the eye to speak?

midway through your dinner, kita finally spoke up tho

“y/n, your shirt is slipping... yer bra’s showing.”

oh.

right. you were wearing your off-shoulder top.

“o-oh. shin, it’s that kind of shirt, you know?” you had to explain your outfit to ur bf with a pink face.

“oh... that so... well it’s cold these days so if yer feelin’ cold lemme know. i’ll give ya my jacket.”

GOD HES SO PERFECT KITA SHINSUKE I HOPE U MARRY HIM???????

Ojiro Aran

another man with next to no flaws.

but nature says everyone has to make some mistake.

so it was a regular school day, our aran has just come to class from morning practice and there’s still some time left until class starts.

all the girls in class are gathered around a table

he’s not sure why, it’s probably watching an idol video

but ur man wants to be a little romantic!!

plus he just showered so he smells Great uwu

he goes over and hugs you from behind, placing his chin on ur head.

“hey, bb whatcha ya doin”

all the girls gasp.

he doesn’t get whats wrong, it’s not like it’s a secret y’all are dating

pda to this level aint bad either

especially compared to his teammate miya atsumu

“ojiro aran.”

why is your voice behind him

he looks down and nearly faints when he sees he hugged the wrong girl.

to be fair she looked a lot like you from behind, just maybe 1cm shorter.

“i’m so sorry!” he keeps apologising to literally everyone and all the class is giggling bc they never seen their school’s ace so red before.

“didn’t think i’d come back from the toilet and see my bf cheatin”

“IT WAS A MISTAKE! I’M SERIOUS! Y/N U KNOW I LOVE YA!” 

hes so funny i swear

the volleyball team hears of it and it gets even better 

Miya Atsumu

it’s not a secret that miya atsumu, setter of the inarizaki volleyball team and invited to national youth training camp, had a gf

he was very much in love with u 

the whole class knew it because he’d show it off whenever he could too

so here comes valentines day

last year he received like... 50 different gifts from girls and guys aiming to win his love.

you didnt even give him one lmAOOOOO 

but this year, he had been not so subtly trying to hint that “i better not receive any chocolates this year when i’ve got a gf!”

he reaches school and plops into his seat.

there’s an anonymous box of chocolates with “please accept my love, miya-kun! <3″ on it

“the hell’s this?!”

“oh? chocolates?” - osamu who just popped his head into the class to shove into his twin’s face how much chocolate he got.

especially since the blond was off limits, the grey-haired twin had a bigger following now.

“do they not know i have a girlfriend...”

“well, ya might as well eat it. ya dont know who to return it to.”

“that’s like receivin’ their love!”

“no it ain’t. it’s just food.”

atsumu couldn’t argue with that and popped a piece in.

it was very delicious. the chocolate practically melted on his tongue and was the perfect sweetness and was filled with a delicious ganache too.

it was perfect

but he couldn’t accept this!

“it ain’t even good. too sweet and the filling’s sticky.”

“ah. really? is that what you think, tsumu?” you ask from the door where you had been watching the exchange take place.

“y/n! look at this! some weirdo gave me some choco and like... samu said to test it but i’ll toss it out, promise.”

“tsumu, i made that... i wrote it anonymously because i thought you’d know it was me and i wanted to tease you a little.”

“huh.”

osamu: “yeah actually i went over to her place to teach her how to make it.”

atsumu: “you said you went to suna’s place?!”

osamu: “i went there later but i first went to help her.”

you: “anyways if it’s not good i don’t mind if you toss it out...”

tsumu: “NO NO BABE I PROMISE IT’S GOOD”

you: “you just said-”

“BABE I SWEAR IT’S GOOD I JUST DIDN’T WANT TO ACCEPT A STRANGER’S STUFF”

“you’re always so honest though... are you sure?” you were having your fun teasing him now.

“BB PLSSSSSS”

he still cringes at the memory 4 years into ur marriage

Miya Osamu

osamu would DEFINITELY make home made dinner dates a regular thing.

this alone shows he’s the better twin - miya atsumu stan

he loves cooking and eating with you so sometimes when he’s got a day off you guys’ll set aside the afternoon to make a real nice dinner

imagine candlelit dinner with miya dorito body osamu in a suit

of course some fun stuff happens after too ;)))

and today’s your third anniversary!!

so osamu adds lots of ‘natural aphrodisiacs’ to the meal

i’m talkin

garlic bread and soup for an appetiser, a nice juicy steak with garlic and red wine sauce for the main, and chocolate coated strawberries for dessert

mm yummy

you two cleaned your plates completely (it was very delicious) and as you were washing the dishes, osamu comes up behind and wraps his arms around your waist

“yes, ‘samu?” 

“i’ve already prepared us a nice bath with yer favourite scents.” he’s got his head resting on ur chin

“really? thank you~ i’ll be there in a bit”

but he doesn’t let go of you while you’re still scrubbing at the baking sheets.

“osamu, you can let go for now.”

“don’t feel like it.”

“i gotta wash the dishes since you did most of the cooking.”

“mmm, i’ll do it if ya gimme a kiss.”

you roll ur eyes bc what a cutie 

u turn ur head to give him a kiss but suddenly he 

he burps

that garlicy wine smell is just kinda there

“ew! ‘samu!!”

his face is real red but he’s also trying not to laugh because he’s still a dude and this is absolutely hilarious to him

“want another?” he starts teasing

“i’m not getting in the bath with you.”

“wait wait wait i’m sorry, i’ll go brush my teeth and give you a proper kiss”

Suna Rintarou

you two were taking the train home today

it was quite late due to practice going a little longer than usual, so he insisted he walked you back home today.

sunarin can be a good boyf sometimes ok

it was getting a little crowded on the train tho, since people were heading home or going out for dinner

luckily you had already grabbed seats so you were quite comfortable sitting side by side. 

you and suna have the type of relationship were you dont have to talk all the time

silence is v comfy.

he’s just scrolling through twitter on his phone while you’re looking around the car, lost in ur thoughts

suddenly you notice an old lady standing a little bit away from you and you stand up

“baa-san, please take my seat.” you whisper in the crowded carriage

“oh how kind of you. thank you, dearie.” she smiles and takes your seat while you stand in front of her and suna instead.

suna doesn’t realise this exchange has happened tho

(he’s on his phone as usual)

probably starting some fights on twitter

he decides to try to be a little romantic and pretends to stretch his arm around (who he thought was) you.

“rin.” 

why is your voice right in front of him?

“young man, i appreciate it but i’m married.”

suna jumps as he sees someone he did not recognise next to him.

he looks up and notices you had moved.

you’re giggling

the granny’s giggling

atsumu and osamu sitting opposite on the carriage look like they’re going to cry because they’re trying not to laugh

“i was just stretching. really.” he mumbles and crosses his arms, face red as a tomato

he’s so embarrassed.

Ginjima Hitoshi

sometimes the inarizaki vbc would go for an after practice snack at the nearby family mart

they were really hungry after an intense preparation for nationals which was in two weeks so kita insisted they all get something to fill them up on the way home

but lucky lucky ginjima hhehe

you (his classmate who he had a crush on) were working at the cash register today.

“welcome!” you greet everyone as they enter

he cant help but stiffen up a bit 

why are u so cute and cheery today

the 2nd years already know what to do.

“heyy, i think last week i bought ya that ramen right? ya owe me my konbini snacks today!” - atsumu

“yeah. you lost a bet to me last week so u gotta pay up. a pack of jelly fruit sticks please.” - suna

“forgot my money today, mind payin’ for my snacks too?” - osamu

“like hell i’m paying for all of you. especially you, osamu. you eat too much all the time.” 

aran’s noticed what’s going on,

“hey, if it’s just for today you can do it right? if ‘samu don’t pay ya back tomorrow i’ll nag him ‘til he does.” 

“fine...” his basket is full when he goes to the counter.

he’s trying his best not to have a red face while watching u scan the items, ur hair swaying slightly as u look back and forth between the objects and the screen.

“alright. 4,890 yen please!” GOD he hated how expensive it was, that’s almost all his weekly allowance but bc it’s u and ur voice saying it it’s kinda ok

“mm, ok.” he still has his eyes on you while he takes out his wallet and puts it on the counter.

yes

his wallet, not the money

“...” “...”

“excuse me, sir. this is...”

he almost slaps his face wtf he’s so embarrassed.

“s-sorry. just a little absent minded after practice.” he starts pulling out his cash.

“it’s fine! i know how hard you guys practice!” you smile while performing the rest of the transaction and pass him his big bag of goods. “good luck for nationals, ginjima-kun!”

he almost runs out of the store and is about to fight the rest of the 2nd years for watching and (suna) recording

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - Timestuck AU: The Power of Mabel ch.2

While fighting over a time machine so one twin can win a pig or the other can win the heart of a girl, Mabel is left stranded in a snowy forest with no time machine and no brother. Oops.

The BEAUTIFUL art pieces were done by @clownwry and @elishevart ! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! 😭❤️💋

ch.1 - ch.3

~~~~~~~~~~

Ford was way more nervous than he was letting on.

She had long, pretty brown hair, braces over her teeth, sneakers, a skirt, and a sweater that allowed the cold air to pass through it. Her cheeks were slightly chubby with youth and nosy, as well as her nose, due to the freezing weather. Her eyes matched her hair perfectly, and though they were clouded with fear and confusion, Ford swore he could see sparkling behind the clouds, sparkling that made itself well-known when she asked if she could make him a sweater or when she saw his hands.

She had long, pretty brown hair, braces over her teeth, sneakers, a skirt, and a sweater that allowed the cold air to pass through it. Her cheeks were slightly chubby with youth and nosy, as well as her nose, due to the freezing weather. Her eyes matched her hair perfectly, and though they were clouded with fear and confusion, Ford swore he could see sparkling behind the clouds, sparkling that made itself well-known when she asked if she could make him a sweater or when she saw his hands.

Ford would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy Mabel’s company, but she was practically a stranger, and keeping a random girl in his house that was located in the middle of the woods was fishy and Ford couldn’t help but feel like it was illegal. But he couldn’t leave her out in the snow and send her on her way to find her home and family, so he decided to keep her warm or healthy, simply because it was the right thing to do.

But then she said she had no parents to call. Only a brother, who was lost, too. Ford can remember the old rule: If you’re lost, stay where you are until you are found. So he then decided that she could stay here until her brother found her, which should be by morning at the latest.

Still, he felt uneasy, so once Mabel was settled in front of the TV, Ford excused himself and went into the kitchen to make a phone call. There was only one man who would have better judgement in this situation than him.

The phone rang a few times. Ford checked his watch to make sure it was a reasonable time to call. It wasn’t Sunday, was it? But then the ringing stopped. “Howdy! This here Fiddleford McGucket.”

“Hey there, buddy.” Ford smiled to himself at hearing that cheerful voice. “How have you been?”

“Stanford Pines! Good t’hear from ya!” Fiddleford cheered. “M’just fine, just fine! How are ya?! Ya haven’t gotten eaten by monsters yet, have ya?” He laughed, making his old friend chuckle along.

“No no, I’m alright.” Ford almost brought up the reason he called, but then he remembered something very important to Fiddleford. “How are Emma-May and Tater?”

“OH! They’re doin’ great! We’re all very happy n’ doin’ well! Ya won’t believe how big Tate’s gotten since ya last saw him! He’s already crawlin’!”

“Wow, that's great to hear.” Ford sat in a chair at the kitchen table. “Has he said his first words yet?”

“No, not quite. Actually, he’s extremely quiet. Not a lot of baby-babble.” Fiddleford chuckled. “The doctor says that’s perfectly normal. Tate’s so smart, he’s reachin’ for specific colors n’ such, n’ ya can tell he’s thinkin’ a lot n’ knows what’s goin’ on, he just got nothin’ t’say.”

“I was very shy when I was young.” Ford commented casually. He didn't feel like mentioning why. “If Tate is anything like either of his parents he’s very intelligent.”

“Oh, he’s so much like both of us it’s scary. Ya know Emma-May, so clever n’ quiet n’ such. Tate’s got all that. But he already looks so much like me! But he’s got his mama’s hair! N’ Santy Claus brought ‘im this fun little fishin’ game where ya fish for plastic fish with a pole with a magnet on it, n’ he loves it! I can’t wait to take ‘im fishin’ when he’s big enough! Ya really outta give yourself a break n’ come down for a visit, he’d move to see his Uncle Ford again.”

Ford’s face felt hot. “Perhaps. Spring is when a lot of anomalies are active and breeding, so i would prefer not to miss that, but maybe I could visit for a weekend before that…”

“Well, no pressure, I won’t assume anythang until ya tell me to, just know there’s always a bed for ya here.”

“Thank you, Fiddleford. The same for you and your family. The clean air will do everyone some good.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” Fiddleford sighed happily and perked up. “So! Whatcha callin’ for? Not that I’m not happy just t’chat, but ya never call.”

Ford laughed and shrugged to himself. “I suppose I don’t. I’m sorry.”

“No need t’be sorry, Stanford, just wanna know what’s up.”

“Well, I was hoping to get your advice on something.”

“Shoot.”

“Um… well…” Ford rubbed the back of his neck, unsure how to tell him this. “I heard some unusual sounds outside today…”

“What kind of unusual sounds?”

“Cracks, like lightning. And some faint yelling.” Ford answered. “I thought it might be a tree branch or a new anomaly to catalogue, but when I opened the door a young girl was standing there in the snow with no coat.”

“Heavens! Is she alright?!”

“She’s okay, no frostbite. She was cold, but after sitting by the fire, drinking some hot chocolate, and changing into some dry clothes, she’s okay now.”

“Well, good.”

“So of course I brought her in. I tried to call her parents, she probably got lost playing…”

“Sure.”

“... but she says she doesn’t have any parents.”

“Oh.” Fiddleford sighed. “Oh. Now, wait, are ya sure she didn’t just say that so ya wouldn’t call?”

Ford chuckled and said, “I first thought that too, but she looked too sad to be lying.”

“Okay, I see. Does she got somebody ya can call?”

“She says she has a brother, but he was out there, too. So he is probably out there looking for her and therefore nowhere near a phone.”

“Fair enough, okay. So, I reckon y’all are waitin’ for him t’come ‘round.”

“Yup.”

“Well sounds to me like you’ve handled this all pretty well.” Fiddleford said confidently.

“You think so?” Ford asked. “I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong. Like I’m missing something. Am I doing something wrong?”

“Nonsense, buddy, you’re doin’ great.” Fiddleford assured. “Look here, ya can’t just leave a young gurl out in the snow t’try t’find her way home...”

“I agree.”

“... so ya really got one option n’ that’s t’keep an eye on her n’ let her in as a guest. N’ ya tried t’call, but nothin’. The best thang ya can do right now is be there for this lil’lady n’ just be kind t’her. N’ if nobody comes for her by mornin’, why don’t ya go into town n’ see if anybody knows her, then they can help y’all out.”

Ford nodded, then remembered that his best friend couldn’t see it, so he said, “Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. Thank you, Fiddleford.”

“You’re welcome. N’ hey, are ya okay?” He asked seriously.

“Yes, yes I’m okay. I just want to make sure I do this right.”

“O’course. I understand. Ya want me t’come down there n’ give a hand?”

“No, that’s not necessary. I’m sure Mabel will find her brother in the morning.”

“Mabel, huh? Well, if y’all don’t, please call me. N’ even if ya do find her brother, call me. Keep me updated.”

“I will. Thank you, Fiddleford.”

“Anytime, Stanford.”

~~~~~~~~~~

When Mr. Ford gave Mabel the remote for the old TV and went into the kitchen, she decided to use her awesome detective skills to figure out what year it was. If it was before Grunkle Stan lived here and opened the Mystery Shack, she must be pretty far back in time. But she had no way of knowing if it was 1999 or 2005 or the 50s.

The TV was old, but so was Grunkle Stan’s in her time. So Mr. Ford could have had this TV for a long time and didn’t want to replace it. 

Okay, so when was the TV made? Mabel didn’t know. Dipper would have known.

Okay, Grunkle Stan mentioned watching TV when he was a kid once or twice. So at least Mabel was when Stan was a kid, okay. 

Mabel turned the TV on and it was in color. Okay, so she wasn’t too far back in time. But the TV was playing a commercial for clear skin. The picture was gritty and all the people in it had puffy hair and long socks and oh my god was that woman wearing legwarmers?! Mabel grinned at seeing her favorite fashion on TV, but then her face dropped. When was she?

She tapped her chin and tried to think of how to know the date without being suspicious. She could ask Mr. Ford, but that might be suspicious. Mabel decided to start flicking through channels to try to guess what year she was in based on what was airing. A lot of shows were about cowboys, space, or game shows. Huh. Okay.

All the TV shows were definitely older. Nothing her dad would watch from when he was a kid, so if Mabel had to guess by everyone’s crazy air, the cheesy TV shows, and the music occasionally playing, she was in the 70s.

Huh. Okay. But she needed an exact year. So Mabel turned off the TV, saw an old radio on a desk, and turned it on to listen.

“... cuz it’s cold doesn’t mean you can't boogie, folks! So grab someone you wanna get warm with, turn up the music, and get your bodies warm in the coolest way possible! Here’s Night Fever, by the Bee Gees!”

Mabel grinned at the disco music. Her personal favorite song from these guys was More Than a Woman, but Night Fever would do. For a moment Mabel forgot her mission, jumped off the couch and left the blanket behind, and in the over-sized gray t-shirt Mr. Ford gave her while her clothes were drying, she danced along to the music, singing the chorus since those were the only words she knew.

“When you reach out for me. Yeah, and the feelin' is right,

Then I get night fever, night fever. We know how to do it! Gimme that night fever, night fever. We know how to show it!”

Mabel laughed at herself as she spun around in her socks and tried to do the point-and-hype dance she didn’t know the name to, but everyone did it when a disco song played.

Little did she know that Ford had returned to check on her, and was smiling at her as she shook her hips and waved her hair around and had fun. He leaned against the doorway and planned to let her dance in peace, but when she did a spin and saw him, she grinned and took his hand. “C’mon, Mr. Ford, come dance with me!”

Ford chuckled and shook his head. “No, no! I can’t dance!”

“You got two legs that aren’t broken?”

“Yes.”

“Then you can dance! C’mon!” Mabel encouraged, let him go when they were both in the middle of the room, and she started to dance again. “Don’t make me dance alone!” She even pulled an evil move and gave him puppy eyes. Rude.

Ford smiled slyly at her and hesitantly copied her boogie moves. It was true that Ford never liked to dance, but there was no one around but Mabel, and though he had only known her for an hour or more, he was sure she would never make fun of him.

And he was right.

“Wow! Look at you, Mr. I-Can’t-Dance! Yeah!” Mabel hopped on the couch, standing, and took Ford’s hand. “Here, I’ll spin you!”

Ford laughed and allowed it, doing a single spin, but then scooping her in his arms to dip her and then let her down, making her laugh as they continued to dance. 

“Alright alright, you crazy cats, that was Night Fever by the Bee Gees! It's a snowy day here in the heart of Oregon, with snow flurries coming in harder all night, but it should clear up by morning and be a fun day to go out and play! The date is January 26th, 1978 in case you gotta write a check or mail a thank you note to a friend or family member. I’m still writing letters for Christmas! We’ll be right back with some of your favorites after a word or two from our sponsors, so don’t go anywhere!”

Mabel stared at the radio. “Wow, 1978.” She breathed. Her parents were only kids right now, maybe only six or seven-years-old. Wow.

Ford chuckled. “I know, I’m still in the bad habit of writing ‘77.”

Mabel realized her mistake, but was grateful her host misunderstood her. “Me too.”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for dinner. How about some ramen noodles?”

“Yes, please! Can we play a game after we eat?”

“Sure. I don’t have many board games, but I do have a deck of cards.”

“Do you know any card tricks?!”

“A few.” Ford admitted, wiggling his fingers. “There are some advantages to having more fingers than average.”

Mabel grinned up at him and followed him to the kitchen for dinner.

[therenlover]

Therenlover’s Official Fanfic Glossary!

Hey hey hey! This is the place where you can find all my up-to-date fanfics linked nicely, read about what projects I have upcoming, and learn what requests I’m taking at the moment! Cheers!

This post is massive so, for the sake of your dash, everything is under the cut

A NOTE ABOUT REQUESTS!

I will do my best to fulfill any requests I get while my ask box/requests are open! That being said, I cannot promise every request will get done, and that if they do, they’ll be done in a timely manner. I’m currently working on a long-form project that needs a lot of time and energy to come out consistently, so unless I’m doing a writing event most of my writing juice will be focused on that. That being said, if you want something ask! The worst I can possibly do is direct you towards someone else who might be able to write what you want if I cant.

If I choose not to do your request based on personal preference (it makes me uncomfy/I don’t write for the character at that time/I don’t feel I can write what you want/etc.) I will do my best to contact you and let you know! That being said, if you think your ask got buried/forgotten, feel free to message me again and let me know, but please tell me when you message me if I should be looking for a prior request.

Characters/Fandoms I will write for currently

 💙 = I’m Currently Super Inspired To Write For This Character

Marvel/X-Men

Bucky Barnes

Loki

Peter Maximoff 💙

Pietro Maximoff

Helmut Zemo 💙

Hank McCoy

Ralph Bohner 💙

Vision

American Horror Story

Tate Langdon

Kit Walker 💙

Kyle Spencer (Pre- and Post- Death)

Jimmy Darling 💙

James Patrick March 💙

Kai Anderson

Fallout 4

Nick Valentine

Hancock

Star Wars

Poe Dameron

Armitage Hux 💙

Kylo Ren/Ben Solo

Finn

Han Solo

Assorted/Random

Diarmuid Ua Duibhne - FGO

Cu Chulainn/Cu Alter - FGO

Warren Lipka - American Animals 💙

Enjolras - Les Miserables

Grantaire - Les Miserables

Gabriel - Supernatural

Imagines - REQUESTS CLOSED

Songs From Musicals Y/N Would Sing To The Evans

Characters: Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, Kyle Spencer, Jimmy Darling, James Patrick March, Kai Anderson, Peter Maximoff

Rating: T

How The Evans (+ Quicksilver) Would React To Yoplait’s New Gushers Yogurt

Characters: Tate Langdon, Kit Walker, Kyle Spencer, Jimmy Darling, James Patrick March, Rory Monahan, Kai Anderson, Peter Maximoff

Rating: T

Would The Danny Bunch Survive A Holiday With My Family?

Characters: Laszlo Kreizler, Alex Kerner, Niki Lauda, Andrea Marowski, Ernst Schmidt, Helmut Zemo

Rating: T

Headcanons - REQUESTS CLOSED

Modern! AU Armitage Hux Boyfriend Headcanons

Zemo With A Well Dress S/O Headcanons

Zemo Getting Jealous Headcanons

Oneshots - REQUESTS CLOSED

Marvel/X-Men

Helmut Zemo

One Last Night In Madripoor

Synopsis: Baron Helmut Zemo is a lonely, wanted man looking for some fun, you’re a piss-poor bounty hunter in search of a connection before leaving your life of crime behind, and fate has brought you together at a party the likes of which has never been seen before. You only have one night left in Madripoor, so why not take a chance?

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 4200~

Still Some Catching Up To Do

Synopsis: As a member of the criminal underworld, people walk out of your life all the time. Some are killed, others kill themselves, most get caught and only a couple get out of the life unscathed, disappearing into the world never to be seen again. Very few walk back in. So when your supposedly incarcerated ex-lover, the Winter Soldier, and the Falcon waltzed through your door and made you murder your boss, needless to say, you were surprised and more than a little bit pissed.

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 6800~

Nine Years Starved

Synopsis: It had been a little over nine years since Helmut Zemo lost his family, his country, and his sanity. Nine years since his last kiss. Nine years since he felt like a human man. Finally, he was ready to start over again, but first, he had to pay his penance back where it all began; Novi Grad. That’s when, by the grace of the fates, he met you.

Rating: G

Word Count: 7000~

Daddy Dearest

Synopsis: Not everyone gets lucky enough to go from being a broke college student in New York to being the sugar baby to literal royalty, but not everyone is you. Most people would be worried about messing things up or losing him to someone else, but you knew he would never find another baby just like you. Besides, you knew exactly what to do to keep him wrapped around your little finger. He may have been the daddy, but you pulled the reins.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 8000~

In Fleeting Touches & Airy Sighs

Part One   Part Two   Part Three   Part Four

Synopsis: As a wanted man, Helmut Zemo spends most of his time jumping from place to place in the hopes of avoiding a trip back to prison. Unfortunately, that means he can’t always be home in your arms. When he is, though, in the rare moments of calm, you’re reminded of just how worth it it’s been to wait, even if that wait was only shortened by the arrival of your enemies.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 35,700~

Two Bodies In The Rain

Synopsis: It was raining the day you finally had to admit your feelings to Helmut. You hated to tell him the way you did, under the grey skies as your blood pooled below you, but at least you knew, in the end, he had seen the real you, even just once. That was enough.

Rating: T

Word Count: 5600~

Rest

Synopsis: Living life on the lam with your escaped super-villain lover means things rarely slow down enough for a real rest. When the exhaustion starts to take its toll on you, though, he knows exactly what to do to ease the pain. He may not be a good man, but he’s a good husband when it counts.

Rating: T

Word Count: 3200~

American Horror Story

Jimmy Darling

Red Nights In Jupiter

Synopsis: At the end of another long day, you fall into bed with Jimmy Darling. The men you served throughout the day don’t matter then, nor do the coins in the mason jar by the door, or the women scheduled to attend Jimmy’s next Tupperware party. No, in that quiet darkness it’s just you and the man you love, bone-tired and happy to be home. Who could ask for more?

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 3000~

James Patrick March

Heartsick

Synopsis: When you fall ill, James is given a forceful awakening about how he’s been neglecting your needs and what he must do to prevent harm from befalling you again.

Rating: 16+

Word Count: 3700~

In Sickness And In Health

Synopsis: Normally people don’t have their wedding and funeral on the same day, but you and James don’t quite have a normal relationship, do you? Besides, you wouldn’t wanna go any other way.

Rating: 18+

Word Count: 5500~

Fallout 4

Currently Empty

Star Wars

Currently Empty

Assorted/Random

Currently Empty

Long Form Works/Series

Young Artist!Zemo AU

Chapter One: The Boy With The Easel

Synopsis: About a month into your first semester at Novi Grad’s top university, you finally meet the strange young man that you’ve taken to calling “easel boy” in the back of a bookshop. From a distance, he always seemed cold and aloof. As you get to know him, though, you realize things aren’t always what they seem.

Rating: T

Word Count: 7000~

Till Forever Falls Apart (A Peter Maximoff/Reader Series)

Chapter One: Welcome Home

Synopsis: As if getting thrown through the multiverse, trapped in an attic (albeit a cool one), mind-controlled to manipulate his grieving sister, and subsequently dragged out of Westview “for his own safety” by the FBI wasn’t enough, Peter Maximoff has now been shipped off to New York to live with a glorified baby sitter like some tragic orphan in a comic book until they find a way to get him back home. Things are not always as they seem, though, and this change might just be for the better.

Rating: T

Word Count: 2400~

Chapter Two: The Doctor Is In

Synopsis: Peter’s first few days in his new home are mostly uneventful, so he decides it’s the perfect time to dust off his running goggles and steal some shit. The building with the massive circular stained glass window seems like a great place to start! People with buildings that lavish are usually rich and weak, so what could possibly go wrong?

Rating: T

Word Count: 2800~

Chapter Three: It’s Always Been You

Synopsis: After a month of adapting to his new universe, Peter Maximoff can confidently say that he likes his new life more than his old one. Sure, he misses home sometimes, but he’s been far too busy flirting with his new roommate to spend time crying over the things he’s lost. Everything is smooth sailing until a strange journal in his roommate’s study leaves him with more questions than he knows what to do with. Now he’s on a mission to discover who he’s really living with before she has the chance to turn against him.

Rating: T

Word Count: 8600~

Chapter Four: Before You Go

Synopsis: Peter, after days of contemplation, has realized that part of him loves Y/N no matter what she is or what she’s been through. Unfortunately, he can’t find her anywhere. When she finally returns home with the intention of leaving again, Peter realizes it’s his last chance to tell her how he really feels. Will he succeed, or will he fail to be fast enough once again?

Rating: T

Word Count: 4000~

Chapter Four And A Half: Gimme Swayze

Synopsis: Now that the issue of Y/N leaving is out of the way, and Peter has finally kissed her, he falls into the motions of learning how to love someone for the first time. It’s easier than he thought it would be.

Rating: T

Word Count; 2600~

Cakes For The Evans: A Blogging And Baking Adventure!

Kai Anderson’s Disaster Cake

Hey you! If you’ve made it this far down the list, thanks for supporting me as an author! I’ll be linking my AO3 here. I post everything there shortly before I post it here, and there are some older fics there you might enjoy along the way! It’s also easier to drop comments over there and I keep them open for non-members, so give me a shout if you liked what I wrote!

I love you all, you make me so happy, and without you support I would never be motivated to write! Cheers!

[stufftippywrote]

not an astronaut

This is based off a personal experience. Tw for fat-shaming, homophobia, and general assholery from an asshole kid.

The bell rings cheerfully as Bitty steps through the doorway. This was one of his favorite places when he was younger. The eclectic curios, every shape and size and color, packing the shelves were an endless source of fascination for young Eric Bittle, and the owners were friends of the family, so they knew Bitty well and didn't freak out when he picked up a ceramic pepper shaker or glass figurine and held it in his hands like an ancient treasure.

He walks through the store with that same sense of wonder now, 30 years later, and brushes his hand reverently over the shelves. They’re not looking for anything in particular today, but Bitty has told Jack about this place so many times, he simply couldn’t help but visit. Besides, you never know when you might find the perfect accent piece for the new home.

Chicken-shaped serving bowls, a porcelain figurine of a girl dancing, a set of silverware in a dusty wooden case. Bitty is spoiled for choice. As he browses, there’s a movement at the back of the store, and he catches a glimpse of someone hauling boxes through a door. He wonders who runs the place now. The sign still says Thompson’s Antiques, but he knows Mrs. Thompson passed and Mr. Thompson is getting on in years. Could it be that…

A prickle of fear runs through him.

The figure in the back drags the box to a nearby aisle and starts unpacking it, placing items on a low shelf. Bitty’s curiosity overflows. He moseys into that aisle and begins to speak, but the man raises his head before he can get a word out. He has to catch his breath all over again.

The man’s face goes slack. “I know you,” he blurts.

Eric puts his hands on his hips and gives a bright smile. “Davey Thompson. So you’re here after all!”

~~~

“Davey, this is Eric. Eric, this is our little boy Davey.” Mrs. Thompson’s smile is bright as she urges her son forward. “Why don’t you two go play at the playground while Mommy and her friend talk?”

The kid is tough-looking, with ruddy cheeks and a thick build. Eric reaches out his hand to lead Davey along the way. The minute they’re out of earshot, Davey snatches his hand back like he’s just touched a hot stove. Eric turns, surprised.

“You’re fat,” Davey says.

Eric blinks.

“You look dumb,” Davey adds on. And thus a quote-unquote “friendship” was born.

~~~

Davey stands up. He still has the same tinted cheeks and stocky build that Bitty remembers, but his face is sunken somehow, and he’s built up muscle where baby fat used to linger on his arms and shoulders. He’s got a tattoo on one arm – a Japanese koi fish, mid-splash.

“Nice ink,” Bitty comments.

And Davey Thompson, for possibly the first time in his life, smiles at Bitty. “Thanks.”

“The shop looks nice,” Bitty says, surveying the shelf like it’s his domain. “Hasn’t changed much since I used to come here.”

“You’re – you’re Eric Bittle, right?” Davey says, sounding almost scared of the answer. “From school?”

“From way before school,” Bitty responds. “You’re looking good.”

“Uh. Thanks. Same to you.” Davey looks uncertain, almost sheepish. There’s a moment of awkward silence. Davey tries to break it. “Um. So. What are you –”

He doesn’t seem to have the strength, or the will, to come up with the rest of the sentence. Bitty picks it up. “I’m a pastry chef,” he says. “I have a bakery and I cater, and I’ve put out three cookbooks. Can you imagine that?”

Davey looks kind of stunned. “Wow,” he says slowly. “Good for you. Where’s the bakery?”

“Up in New England. Providence, Rhode Island, to be exact.”

Davey snaps his fingers. “That’s right, you went to college up there. For hockey, wasn’t it?”

~~~

Bitty takes a swing at the ball. He misses, and it goes tumbling behind him into the net.

“Hah, you’re the worst goalie,” Davey says.

Somehow, Bitty finds the courage to say, “Let me play forward.” But his words are swallowed by the passing of a car on the cross street.

“What?”

“You be goalie.” Bitty gives the phrase all the menace he’s got in an eight-year-old body.

Davey laughs, a cruel laugh that sounds like ripping paper in Bitty’s ears. “Why? I can score on you all I want. That’s why we made you goalie.”

Resentment simmers like a low sun in Bitty’s gut. He wants to challenge Davey to play him on actual ice. He knows Davey can’t skate. As bad as he is, Bitty can’t possibly lose to him there. But the words stay stuck inside, plastered to the inside of his stomach, making him feel sick.

“Worst goalie ever,” Kevin chimes in.

“The worst, the wooooorst,” all four of them sing to him.

Bitty crouches low and is glad they can’t see much through the oversized goalie mask. Someday, he thinks, someday I’m gonna get them.

~~~

“Something like that,” Bitty answers easily. “And you’ve been here running the store?”

“Pretty much.” He doesn’t look very proud of that fact.

“I remember you used to say you were going to be an astronaut.”

“Ah, well –” The rose tint on Davey’s cheeks grows a shade deeper. “We were kids. I figure I missed my shot to make something of myself.”

All of Bitty’s nurturing instincts come alive. “Don’t say that. You’re doing well. Doing good, honest work. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Nah, man. It was just the easiest thing to do, once Mom got sick. I had to be here for her, and I … just stayed.”

Bitty gazes at him. This isn’t the attitude he expected from Davey Thompson, not in the slightest. He seems so defeated, as though Bitty’s arrival has reminded him of everything he isn’t. Bitty doesn’t want to be that for him, but he doesn’t think he has a choice in the matter. He quashes the small, self-satisfied demon that’s cackling in the back of his head. He’s not that kid anymore, either.

Just then, the chimes jingle at the front of the store. The babbling voice of a young child brightens the room. “Ah,” Bitty says, “there they are. He had to keep them outside a while before they calmed down. Little kids just work themselves up into a dither sometimes.” He offers an apologetic smile to Davey and retreats down the aisle toward the front of the store.

Suze is quiet, but it’s clear she was crying her eyes out earlier. She hangs on to her Papa with a fierce fist. Robby’s eyes are bugging out at the sight of the store. “What’s that?” he keeps asking, tugging on Jack’s slacks. Jack himself looks a little the worse for wear, but happy. That kind of tired-happy that they see in each other’s faces every night once the kids are in bed.

“Come on, Rob,” Bitty says, holding out his hands. “Want to see Daddy’s favorite store?”

Robby holds out his hands to be picked up. Bitty obliges, despite the warning creak of his back. He turns to take Robby further into the store and sees Davey standing there, staring them down.

He points. “I know you, too.”

“Ah, here we go,” Bitty says with a laugh.

“Were you in school with us? I don’t think that’s right, but—”

Jack holds out his hand for a shake. “Jack Zimmermann,” he says. “And you are?”

“My old friend Davey,” Bitty fills in. He can’t help but put a pointed emphasis on the friend part.

Davey clasps Jack’s hand but doesn’t seem to want to let go. “You’re Jack Zimmermann? The hockey player?”

“Yes, that’s me.”

Davey pumps Jack’s hand about four more times before finally letting go. “It’s – it’s good to meet you.” He looks at Suze, still curled up in Jack’s other arm. “And these are your kids? Or—” He turns to Bitty, face contorted in confusion. “Are they your kids?”

“Both,” Bitty answers cheerily. “Davey, meet my husband.”

Davey Thompson very nearly has a coronary right there.

~~~

“Hah, you’re just small all over, aren’t you?” Davey says with a pointed glance at Bitty’s crotch.

“You can’t help how you’re born,” Bitty retorts, but he pulls up his boxers right quick.

“Yeah, some people are just born stupid,” Davey agrees. Bitty instantly regrets replying at all.

Kyle whispers something in Davey’s ear. They both laugh.

“You’re right,” Davey says. He turns back to Bitty. “He’s right. They do say things about you.”

Bitty’s heart drops to his stomach. “W-what things?”

“You know! That you’re—” Davey flaps his wrist.

He doesn’t seem to have the nerve to say the word, but he doesn’t have to say it. The others in the locker room laugh.

For not the first time, Bitty is tempted to just ask, “So what if I am?” But he can’t. Not to these people. This isn’t how he wants his coming out to happen. So he just turns away and pulls on his sweatpants, ignoring the rills of laughter that echo against the lockers, and feels small. Small all over.

~~~

Davey recovers from his shock and nods his head rapidly. “Oh, I get it. Uh, congratulations. Uh, Bittle, could I talk to you a sec?”

He has that sheepish look again. Bitty watches as he retreats into one of the side aisles. “Gimme a sec,” he tells Jack, setting Robby down, and follows Davey.

When they're isolated, Davey turns to him sorrowfully. “I, uh—” Davey looks at the floor. “I was pretty mean to you in school.”

It isn’t what Bitty expected, not at all. To be honest, demons in the back of his head aside, this sort of thing doesn’t bother him so much anymore. Why should it? He’s married with two kids and a brand new home. He doesn’t spare a lot of time thinking about the distant past. “Um,” he starts, suddenly terribly embarrassed.

“No, let me—” Davey raises a hand. “Just let me. I said a lot of nasty things to you back then. I’m really sorry about it. I think about it a lot, and I’m just – I’m really sorry.”

There is a piece of Bitty that’s happy, even smug, at hearing this apology. But mostly he just pities Davey at this point. What a thing to carry around your whole life. “We were kids,” Bitty says. “Kids say dumb things. It’s all water under the bridge.”

“Still.” Davey says.

“I can’t say it didn’t hurt me,” Bitty goes on. “But I turned out okay, don’t you think?”

Davey laughs grimly “Yeah, look at you … and look at me.” He shrugs.

“You seem to be doing all right,” Bitty says charitably.

“I’m not an astronaut,” Davey says.

Bitty laughs. “Neither am I. We’re all good.” He pats Davey on the shoulder. A moment passes between them, silent, as they both listen to the sound of the past giving way to a new, kinder present.

After the moment passes, Bitty grins “Come on, I’m going to introduce you to my kids. Do you have kids?”

Davey flushes. “Yeah, I got a teenager. A real smartass. I wonder where he learned it.”

“Pictures!” Bitty declares. “Get that phone out, I demand pictures.”

Davey struggles to pull his phone out of his jeans pocket. This time, he flushes with pride. He narrates the story of each photo as they walk back toward the front.

[ragingbookdragon]

I saw you want idea for flash. Maybe Barry falling in love with Bruce's younger sister who is justice league member. Barry has a crush on her because she is a good cook and very optimistic with a habit of making puns. Cue the cute fluffy romance with food.

P.s. sorry if it's too much. I love your works on the lanterns.

Okay, I changed it just a pinch, but I think it works well! I'm glad you love my GL works dear! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

Barry had been to Gotham more than a few times. Honestly, the city gave him the creeps and he stayed away, but he’d been a few times. He was probably the superhero besides Superman and Wonder Woman that didn’t have to call before he entered the area. That being said, his Midwestern sensibilities got hold of him more than they did most, and he couldn’t help but call ahead. Except when he didn’t get a response from Bruce, it worried him, and he got to the Batcave in record time.

“Bruce!” he called, skidding to a stop near the Batcomputer, only to find a young woman sitting in the chair with a worried look on her face. “Uh…”

She jumped at the sound out his voice and spun around, the worried look giving way to relief. “Flash! Oh, I’m so glad someone answered!” hurrying over, she took his hand and led him to the screen. “You have to help Bruce.”

He blinked, looking over at her. “Who are you?”

“Who am—” she shook her head. “That’s not important right now.” Pointing to the screen, she explained, “Joker and Harley took over Arkham Asylum and they’re unlocking the cells all across the blocks. Bruce is good, but I don’t know if he can manage that many supervillains at the same time.”

She clicked a button and the screen flashed, showing Bruce in the middle of a fight with Killer Croc and Poison Ivy. “The others are busy across the city running missions.” Turning, she took Barry’s hands in her own, tears coming to her eyes. “Please, Flash. Help Bruce. Please.”

Barry could only gape at the woman and look at the screen again, watching as Bruce took a blow to the side, and he nodded, pulling away. “Alright. I’ll help him.”

Her shoulder sunk in relief. “Oh, thank you.” She picked up some kind of device that looked like a scanning thermometer and raised it to Barry’s head, clicking the button.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a scanner. I’ll be able to get into your suit’s frequency to help you.” She turned and set down the scanner, then tapped at the screen. Immediately, directions to Arkham Asylum flooded the sensors in Barry’s cowl. “There. Can you see them?”

He nodded with a smile. “Yeah, I’ve got ‘em.”

Grinning at him, she winked. “Now run, Flash. Run.”

Barry shot her a look. “That’s original.” And he was off in a streak of yellow lightning.

***

It took less than thirty minutes for Barry and Bruce to reign in the asylum and make it back to the cave. And boy, was Bruce not happy to see his coworker in Gotham city, much less her who’d called him.

“I explicitly told you not to call anyone unless I ever told you to do so.”

Barry watched as she inconspicuously rolled her eyes, but he knew Bruce saw the reaction too. “I made a judgement call.”

“Your judgement was flawed, (Y/N).”

She glowered at him. “Maybe your flaw is being an anti-social jerk.”

The Flash narrowly managed to turn his snort into a cough.

“I didn’t call in another superhero to rain on your parade, Bruce.” (Y/N) grabbed Barry’s arm and yanked him forward. “I called your friend who was going to have your back when you needed it.”

Bruce looked between the two and Barry couldn’t help but blurt out, “I still have no idea what the relationship is between you two, but I’ve seen Wally and Bart argue long enough to know that you guys are family.”

(Y/N) laughed while Bruce merely grunted. “We’re siblings. Bruce is my older brother.”

“Ah, that explains it.” Barry looked between them. “So, are you not a superhero then?”

She smiled. “No. I’m just technical and moral support for the family.” Meeting his eyes, she added, “And the occasional referee whenever someone has beef with another family member.”

He chuckled. “Telling me the woman who has no martial arts training can keep up with the master detectives?”

(Y/N) winked. “It always helps to have a Superman-Stun-Gun on your person.”

Barry all but cackled, and Bruce griped, “Are you two done? I still have business to take care of.”

She stuck her tongue out at Bruce and grabbed Barry’s hand. “C’mon Barry, you’re probably hungry.”

“I’m always hungry.”

***

(Y/N) ushered him into the kitchen and onto one of the barstools. “Sit. I was just about to pull the chicken out of the oven.”

“What’d you make?”

Cracking the oven, she let the steam billow out before opening it all the way and reaching in with her oven-mitted hands, pulling out a glass casserole dish. Inside was a bubbling mixture of chicken and rice and the second the scent hit Barry’s nose, his stomach grumbled like a whale.

His cheeks flushed and he pressed a hand to his stomach. “Sorry.”

(Y/N) smiled and set the dish down on two wooden trivets before removing the gloves; she grabbed a serving spoon from the drawer and scooped out a good helping of rice and one of the larger pieces of chicken, setting it in front of the Speedster.

When he picked up a spoonful and brought it to his mouth, she gently laid a hand on his wrist, stopping him with a quiet, “Careful, it’s hot.”

Barry closed his mouth in a small “ooo” and blew softly, then put the spoonful in his mouth. Immediately he groaned, eyes closing as he chewed.

“Pretty good, huh?”

He swallowed and nodded. “It’s fantastic.” He stuck the spoon back in the bowl. “It reminds me of the chicken and rice my mom used to make.”

(Y/N)’s eyes flashed with a sad tone, but only for a moment. “My mother used to make this for Bruce and I when we had bad days. It was the comfort food she’d learned how to make when she was young.” She blew on her own spoonful. “I’ve spent almost two decades trying to recreate that loving feeling I used to get when I ate it as a kid.”

Before he could say a word, a shout sounded through the foyer. “AUNT (Y/N)! WHY IS THE OLD MAN ACTING LIKE AN ASSHOLE MORE THAN USUAL!”

She snorted, looking towards the doors when her nephews wandered in; the tallest one stopped and cocked a brow at Barry sitting on the barstool. “Oh. So that’s why B’s in a bad mood.”

“Jason, be nice,” she tutted, spooning the food onto plates, and passing them to each boy that walked over.

The young man glowered at Barry, who was on some level unnerved, but he met the teal eyes with his own firm baby blues. “He’s in my spot.”

(Y/N) nodded to the counter. “Then sit on the counter for now. Barry’s our guest.”

Barry speedily, ate the rest of the food and stood up. “I should actually be getting back to Central.”

“Aww,” she cooed. “But you didn’t even stay for dessert.”

That made Barry perk up. “Dessert?”

She winked. “If you gimme just a sec, I’ll have it whipped up…in a flash.”

Barry cackled while the others around her groaned and then someone cleared their throats, causing them to look towards the entryway at Bruce. (Y/N) smiled and plated some of their dinner, holding it out for him.

He took it and didn’t even cool it off before taking a bite. But the way his expression softened just a moment, told her all she needed to know; he leaned over and pecked her temple, murmuring, “Taste’s just like mother used to make.”

Bruce took the plate and walked back over to the doorway, but stopped and said, “Barry…thank you for the help tonight.” And then he was gone, leaving Barry to gape at the doorframe and (Y/N) smiling.

“I think Hell just froze over, Aunt (Y/N).”

She rolled her eyes and ruffled Tim’s hair. “And there went the loving moment.” Laughing along with her nephews, she looked at Barry. “So, dessert?”

He smiled politely but shook his head. “I really need to be getting back.”

“I understand.” She nodded and gave Jason another serving when he handed his plate over. “Barry?”

He paused, glancing back from the doorway and she gave him a look that made his insides feel warm and fuzzy. “Yeah?”

(Y/N) smiled. “Don’t be a stranger.”

Barry winked in return and was off in a flash.

[blazingparker]

What’s Up, Danger?

**so this is the fic that the lovely @snowstark allowed me to run by them to make sure it made sense to other people and not just my own brain. i really, really hope you enjoy it!

read it on ao3!

Summary: When Peter Parker gets bitten by a radioactive spider in his college’s lab, he doesn’t expect anything that comes next. Not becoming Spider-Man, not being hunted down by the Avengers, and definitely not a secret friendship with Tony Stark.

--

“So, let me get this straight. You want us to hunt down the one superhero in New York City that’s not mooching off my bank account, force him to tell us who he is, and then try and get him to join the team?” Tony could not believe what he was hearing. He sat back in his seat at the head of the table and stared straight ahead at Nick Fury.

“We don’t know that he’s a superhero,” Fury drawled, relaxing in his chair at the other end of the table. “He could be more evil than we know.”

“Yeah, I’m sure the guy plucking kittens out of trees and helping lost old Dominican ladies with directions is a supervillain in the making,” Tony deadpanned, clearly not impressed.

“Tony, orders are orders.” God, Steve was infuriating.

“Tell me, do you ever question anything or are you a walking lapdog?” Tony and Steve glared at each other until Natasha cleared her throat, breaking the tension in the room.

“Look, we’ll bring him in.” At Tony’s look of indignance, she raised a hand. “There’s no reason to go out there guns blazing, though. He hasn’t done anything to warrant that. If we show up looking ready to fight, he’ll avoid us. We will handle this professionally. With tact.” On the last word she stared pointedly at Tony, who pretended not to notice.

“So long as this ends with us knowing who’s behind the mask, I don’t care how you get it done,” Fury said as he stood. “I’ll let Pierce know you’re on board. That should get the prick off my back for a while.” With that, he left the room to the six Avengers sitting around the table.

“What is it with you and going along with whatever SHIELD wants?” Tony barked out, and Steve crossed his arms.

“SHIELD knows what’s best to keep this world safe. We should trust them to give us missions that are important and best left unquestioned.”

“Yeah, I don’t think telling us to beat up the guy who saved the owner of that deli that got blown up last week qualifies.” Tony huffed out an irritated sigh.

“Look, let’s just try and approach him one-on-one,” Natasha suggested. “That way no one feels threatened. Maybe one of us can form a relationship with the guy, get him to trust us.” When no one voiced an objection, she continued. “Tony, you can go first since you’re so protective of the guy.”

“Protective?! I am not-” Natasha left the room before Tony could finish.

---

The first thing Tony noticed when observing Spider-Man was that the guy had absolutely no self-preservation instincts. He literally flung himself off the top of a building, whooping and hollering all the way down until he almost made a little spider puddle on the ground before finally shooting out a web and swinging away. The guy ran into a burning building without a second thought and came back out with a kid in his arms.

That last incident was how Tony finally had the chance to speak with him. By tracking him with JARVIS, he saw that Spider-Man had stopped at a local playground. It looked like he was taking a breather, and was even more likely given the guy had just inhaled massive amounts of smoke. He suited up and flew over to the spot, clearly catching Spider-Man by surprise.

“Hey there, Spider-Man. Or should I call you Danger-Man, since you seem to have a knack for running right towards it?” Tony landed a respectable distance from where Spider-Man was perched on top of the jungle gym.

“What can I do for you?” Okay, so Spider-Man was young. His voice told Tony that much.

“Look, I’m not gonna lie to you. Nick Fury sent me. Us. The Avengers. But it’s just me for now.” Already, Spider-Man had visibly tensed. If Tony could see his eyes behind those pathetic goggles, he’d bet good money that they had narrowed considerably.

“What do you want.” Spider-Man said, his tone conveying it was a demand that Tony tell him now, not a question anymore.

“We want to know who you are. What makes you tick. What made you put on that god awful excuse for a suit and run into a burning building today.”

“Not all of us are billionaires, Stark. Some of us have to work with what we’ve got, and I haven’t really got much.” Tony’s mouth quirked up in a half-smile at that and he huffed out a laugh. Spider-Man’s quips were infamous, and now he could see why. The guy was good.

“Look,” Tony allowed his faceplate to flip up. Maybe that would help relax the agitated vigilante in front of him. Being able to look at his eyes had to be better than a titanium-alloy mask. “For the record, I was against this plan. I told Mr. Eyepatch up there that we should leave you alone.”

“Then why aren’t you?” Spider-Man sounded a little surprised at that admission.

“I got outvoted. The Avengers are a democracy, apparently. Cap’s a real bitch about it. I preferred the authoritarian model.” Tony sniffed, glancing away before looking back at Spider-Man when he chuckled quietly.

“Good to know you really are the big happy family that they show on the news,” Spider-Man shot back. Tony couldn’t help a real grin from forming that time.

“Oh yeah, big time. Ever seen Annie? It’s like that. Except Annie is actually the entire team and I’m Daddy Warbucks for all of them.” After a moment of shared laughter, things grew quiet again. Tony took a step forward, counting it as a win when Spider-Man didn’t scramble to get away.

“I’ll leave you alone from now on, since that’s clearly what you want. On one condition.”

“What’s that?” Spider-Man sounded wary but intrigued.

“Gimme your number.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Just because I’m gonna leave you alone doesn’t mean the others will. If they pull some stupid shit while trying to convince you to tell them who you are, I wanna know. Give me your number.”

“How would I call you if you have my number?”

“I’ll call you first.” Tony was surprised to find he actually truly did mean it. Spider-Man just stared at him for a second before rattling off a phone number and disappearing into the night.

This definitely wasn’t ideal. Tony knew that. But at least this way he had a way of knowing if the team went too far in their attempts to complete the mission.

Grinning, Tony plugged the number into his phone before hesitating over the space left for the contact’s name. He didn’t know Spider-Man’s identity, and definitely couldn’t plug in Spider-Man in case anyone ever saw. Remembering his very first quip to the vigilante, his thumbs flew over the screen.

Danger.

---

Over the course of the next few weeks, Tony and Spider-Man struck up a routine. After each encounter with the Avengers, Spider-Man would give him a call and let him know how it went down. Luckily, things hadn’t gotten violent yet.

Tony was also finding himself...attached. To this masked vigilante from Queens. Something that made absolutely no sense and was probably going to end in disaster for them both. This guy clearly wanted nothing to do with the Avengers - no matter how friendly the two of them had become.

A ringtone disrupted Tony from his thoughts and he grabbed his phone, smiling a little when he read the screen.

Incoming call from: Danger

“What’s up, Danger?” Tony asked as he answered, pushing back from the lab table he was stationed at and walking to the window.

“Are you ever not going to answer the phone that way?” An exasperated voice came from the other end of the line. Tony grinned. He’d taken to always answering with the same “what’s up, danger?” First, it had been because he didn’t want anyone to walk in and hear him greeting Spider-Man. But slowly, it was becoming an inside joke with the two of them.

“Not a chance. But c’mon, gimme the rundown,” Tony said, gazing out over the New York City skyline as though he might see Spider-Man if he looked hard enough.

“Cap and Widow came this time. Gave me the same rundown, telling me they were running out of options and didn’t want to have to resort to other measures,” Spider-Man informed him. His voice dipped lower on the last few words in an imitation of Steve’s voice. Tony’s blood ran cold at that, and he quickly sat down on the nearest chair.

Why was he so afraid for Spider-Man all of a sudden? They were just pals. The guy was a vigilante that clearly had enhanced strength and other powers and could take care of himself.

“What the hell does that mean?” Tony asked, clenching his jaw.

“I didn’t exactly stick around to find out,” Spider-Man said with a laugh. “You could ask him though.”

“And risk him finding out exactly how I knew of this threat? Not a chance. Then things would just get worse,” Tony explained with a sigh.

“You really don’t need to be so worried. I can take care of myself.”

“I’m not worried.” The words came out just a little bit too fast, and Spider-Man chuckled.

“Sure, Tones.” The nickname sent..something through Tony. Not affection. It was not affection. Nothing like that. “Anyway, I gotta hang up. Got readings to get done.”

“So you’re in college!” Tony cried triumphantly, waving a hand in the air to try and tell JARVIS to add that to the file he had on Spider-Man. When there was silence on the other end of the line, he sobered up a bit. “I’m not gonna look into it. Promise.”

Another beat of silence.

“Alright. Talk to you later, Tony.”

---

The next time Tony’s phone rang, he was eating dinner with Natasha and Rhodey after being dragged out of his lab. When he saw Danger flash across the screen, he quickly excused himself and walked out of hearing range.

“What’s up, Danger?”

“Would you tell Hawkeye over there to quit it with the arrow-fest?” Tony’s eyebrows just about disappeared into his hairline and he clutched the phone a little tighter. He could hear Spider-Man’s breath coming fast, like he’d just finished swinging. He probably had.

“The what?” He asked, voice edging on a growl.

“He and Thor showed up, tried to ask me again. When I made it clear I wasn’t interested in joining the Brady Bunch and tried to leave, he took a shot at me. Without my danger sense, I definitely would’ve been hit.” Another interesting fact about Spider-Man, but Tony couldn’t pay attention to that now.

“He-fuck, I’m so sorry. That was never-I didn’t know. I’m sorry.” Tony ran a hand through his hair exasperatedly.

“It’s fine, Tony. You didn’t take the shot at me,” Spider-Man insisted. “I can handle a few pissed-off Avengers. Really.” After a moment of Tony trying to come up with a response, the vigilante spoke again with a softer voice. “Tony, I’m okay. It’s not your fault. I’m not hurt, I’m safe at home.”

Somehow, the knot that had been growing in Tony’s chest eased at hearing Spider-Man was safe at home. He nodded before realizing he was on the phone and that response wouldn’t really work. “Alright, as long as you’re safe.” Where the hell did that come from? “I-I hate to cut this short but I walked out on Rhodey and Nat and-”

“-and if you’re gone too long, the jig is up. No worries, I get it. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Tony couldn’t stop a smile at the understanding in the man’s voice.

“Talk tomorrow.”

---

After that phone call, Spider-Man’s run-ins with the Avengers got increasingly volatile. While Clint had admitted to losing his cool when he shot the arrow and acknowledged it had been a mistake, they’d lost whatever trust they’d built up with Spider-Man.

Well, the others had. Not Tony.

Each encounter had more biting remarks than the last, and their duration was getting shorter and shorter. The Avengers had even tried catching up to him multiple times in one night. All that resulted in was an exhausted, irritated Spider-Man - Tony could hear it in his voice when they spoke on the phone.

Tony was working on a new suit in the lab when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Glancing at his watch, he realized it was nearly two in the morning. His crooked heart started beating a little faster at that - only one person would call him so late.

“What’s up, Danger?” Tony asked cheerfully as he picked up the phone. The cheer dissipated immediately when he didn’t get a response. All he could hear was labored breathing and a groan of pain. “Hey. Talk to me. What’s going on?”

“Hey, Tony,” Spider-Man answered, words slurring together. Tony immediately moved to his closest functional suit, letting JARVIS transfer the call over as he got into it.

“What happened?” Tony tried his best to keep the panic from edging into his voice. The faceplate closed and he could see JARVIS running a tracking program, trying to find out where Spider-Man had last been seen.

“No big deal. ‘S just a guy. He had a big knife. Huge. ‘S not safe for the neighborhood,” Spider-Man answered. Tony felt a chill run through him - Spider-Man had been stabbed ? His danger sense never allowed anyone to land a blow.

“Apparently not so safe for neighborhood Spider-Men either,” he quipped with a shaky voice. “Are you doing okay? Have something to stop the bleeding?”

“Does pavement count?” Even in an injured state, the guy was still churning out one-liners like it was nothing.

“I have located Spider-Man, sir,” JARVIS piped up. “Plotting the fastest course.” Tony whirled around, blasting the nearest window and watching it shatter before shooting out of it at top speed.

“Why didn’t you dodge it?” Tony asked, desperate to keep Spider-Man talking to him until he could get there.

“Danger sense isn’t workin’.” Spider-Man’s voice was significantly quieter at that, like he was ashamed.

“Faster, JARVIS! Why not?” Tony barked the command at his AI but softened his voice for the injured vigilante.

“Tired.” The one-word answer was enough. Even if the Avengers hadn’t struck Spider-Man directly since the incident with Clint, they’d caused this. Their persistence had worn down a decent man to the point where he couldn’t defend himself against the common criminals of Queens. That wasn’t what they were supposed to be about, and Tony felt disgusted just thinking about it.

Luckily, he didn’t have to for much longer. The suit began to descend towards a rooftop in a sketchier area of Queens, and Tony spotted the red and blue jumpsuit the guy insisted on wearing. The faceplate flipped up as he landed and knelt next to the form lying on the ground.

“What’s up, Danger?” Tony asked, trying to tease as he gently pushed away the blood-soaked fabric to get a look at the wound.

“Oh my god, this again? Just leave me to die.” Spider-Man groaned, but didn’t push Tony away. The older man laughed, shaking his head. He then pointed his index and middle fingers at the wound, allowing a healing gel to spray out of the suit and onto the injury. It was a new creation of Tony’s - it would stop the bleeding and keep the wound stable until they reached a medbay and could get real medical attention.

“There we go, Spider-Man. We do need to get you properly fixed up, though. This is a temporary solution.” Tony said, leaning over the man still lying there limply. Slowly, Spider-Man brought a hand up to his head. Tony thought he was feeling for blood, and watched in shock as the hand gripped the hood of his mask and tugged it off.

Of course he’s hot, was the first thing that went through Tony’s mind. Floppy brown hair, soft pink lips, and those big eyes that reminded him of a certain deer from an animated Disney movie. Spider-Man shifted slightly, trying to sit up with a quiet groan, and Tony rushed to support him and help hold him up. Spider-Man looked up at him and gave him a crooked grin.

“It’s Peter,” he said. His name. Tony smiled brightly in return.

“What’s up, Peter?”

[hitoshisbabygirl]

Author's Notes ♡: Here’s my part for the Auction Collab! As usual I love making blasty boy sorta soft (but still rough around the edges) instead of the often use of auctions being on the dark side I made it a bit lighter and not as dark. I hope I did a pretty good job with this and I hope you guys like it as much as I do (✿◠‿◠) ~ bunny ❥

Warnings : NSFW , some praising, also some degradation (sorta just a few words) , size kink if you squint, also slight edging, and a bit of a pussy job

Word count : 1.8k

Paring(s) : CEO!Bakugou Katsuki x F! Reader

Enjoy ♡

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Hearing the gavel hit the pottemum made and the final call of who won [. ] sighed, her eyes wandering to the floor as the disappointed sighs and a final was taken back into a room to get ready to meet who exactly won her ‘ i can't wait for this to be over’ Not having as much as she’d like , [. ] was on the lower side of money, being a cafe girl in a flourishing entrepreneur type of build was hard. She was offered a job as the assistant of the new boss and that hadn’t started yet, still a few weeks away. With that she did her other job as a caged dancer of sorts, but that didn’t mean people couldnt pay a pretty penny to get her. The bidding always made her nervous , she hated who could be clients and she didn’t want to keep letting men get that close to her. Knowing that a very large sum was being placed for her as she headed back she wondered who exactly would have bid so high.

Changing from her display outfit she heard a knock on her door. As expected a pair of men came in , one who she knew from being the bodyguard of whoever was the trophy , the other she guessed was the man who won. With a small smile to the guard and a nod from him he left, leaving the two “Ah yes miss [. ] , I’m come to get you on the behalf of my boss” the man said, bowing to her as her eyes widened at him, confused “So you’re here to just pick me up..?” She asked as the man shook his head , holding a hand to the young woman as he gave her a polite smile “ yes ma’am if you wouldn’t mind following me I’d take you to his property now” he said heading to the door with [. ] as she stopped a final time “well one last thing, what should i call you?” she asked the man as he gave her a soft smile back “Ah you could call me Mr.M”. The man, now named Mr.M said as [ ] gave him a small smile back , taking her put together bag with her , she followed the man out and to a fancy and luxury car. Heading to wherever this mystery man's estate was. Thinking over who exactly had bet and won on her made [ ]’s mind race ‘Was he old? How did he have the money to bid so high? And he has money to just send someone on his behalf? What if this man is him...Oh goodness…..’ Her thoughts were interrupted by the car stopping at a beautiful home, up on a hilltop of the city. Mr.M opened her door and held a hand out to her, helping her out the car and up the stairs to the main door.

“Well miss [ ] , my young master should be in his quarters. I'll leave you two for the night , he’ll ring for me if you guys need anything” With widen eyes [ ] gave him a skeptical look, about to question why he'd leave when she heard a thump from upstairs, being from right above them, signalling that someone was there. “It'll be quite alright, i'll only be a call away” with that Mr. M left , leaving [ ] in her thoughts as she slowly headed to the room her true bidder. Knocking onto the large and more luxurious door she was absolutely shocked by who opened the door “Oi M, did you get-” a bruting , shirtless blonde started to yell as he swung open his bedroom door, facing the shorter girl who was about to knock again. “Heh, well well well...Bet you didn't expect me huh darlin’ “ The rising young and wealthy CEO Katsuki Bakugou faced the now shocked and secretly excited [ ],who was glad it wasn't some old creep but terrified her that her in passing crush was in front of her.

“Mr B-bakugou?” [ ] said as the now large and built man moved towards her, pulling her into his large bedroom “I've been watching you...you were the cutest little thing i could see on my breaks and to know you were struggling for extra cash makes me feel bad sweetheart, you could've just came to me” He whispered as a shiver fell down [ ]’s back.”But sir I could never do that I’m just-“ before she could finish her statement she whimpered as she felt the hot lips of the young boss kiss right behind her ear, chuckling at her reactions to him. The grip of his hand on her waist was becoming tighter as he pulled her to the bed, the two of them falling onto the fluffy surface. “Cmon sweetheart, why don't you make some cute little sounds for me hm?” Bakugou rasped out as [ ] grabbed at his biceps , her nails leaving indents as she tried to hide from his burning gaze. “T-this is embarrassing Bakugou” She whined as the blonde chuckled “Call me by my name baby..” He whispered in her ear as he pushed himself even closer to her. Now chest to chest [ ] couldn't help but have to look up at the vermillion eyes that watched her every move, testing her to try and defy his overpowering stare. Still shaking in excitement and seeing how much she could test his patience, [ ] looked away from him, huffing as she hid her warming face. With that, Bakugou pushed a thick thigh between the sheerness of the dress that [ ] had on , feeling her pool between her legs.

“Hm? This wet and all i did was kiss you, heh you must be smitten with me huh?” Bakugou teased as she tugged at his unkempt hair, causing his smirk to turn into a groan as [ ] gave her own victory smirk “You're a good kisser..” She only said as she crashed their lips back together, keeping the blonde close as their tongues tangled. Feeling a large hand slide its way between her own thighs made [ ] pull away from the heavy kiss she and bakugou was having. Taking the hand from haphazardly around [ ]’s waist , Bakugou put that one under her chin to keep the now slightly trembling girls eyes on his “Look at me baby..ima take good care of you okay?” Bakugou said as [ ] blinked at him, feeling his fingers push harder into her little bud “Y-yes Suki..” She said as he let out a groan , smashing his lips back against hers as his finger slipped past her panties, rubbing her slickness back over the bundle of nerves. Hearing her moan between his lips made him give her mercy, pulling from the next kiss with a smack as he watched his fingers work under the dress she was in “Katsu..this isn’t fair..” [. ] said as she buried her face in his neck, biting at the junction she was perched in. Sliding her own hand down she reached for his own hardening problem, making the blonde jump as her smaller hands grabbed him over his sweats “Fuck..don’t do that unless you think you can take it” He warned, his hips moving and jerking into her hand that was now stroking the throbbing member. When a certain twist of her wrist made his tip leak through his pants he couldn’t take it, pushing his fingers deep into her warm walls, causing the duo to fall back even more onto the bed. “This isn’t a competition baby, I have to get you nice and wet so I can fit, relax and be good you needy slut” he huffed as he snatched her hand away, making his own dick angrily throb. Pushing the waistband down some he let himself spring free, the swollen red tip leaking with precum a sight to see as [. ] subconsciously gasped. “Ya like what you see huh?” The cocky boy tossed at her as [. ] herself just bit her lip, giving him a dangerously sweet look as she nodded her head to agree with him. “I bet you want it hm?” His teasing got worse as he pushed his hips closer, rubbing his tip against her fluttering lips as it pushed back and forth, pushing the hardest when it ran over her clit “Please Suki, it’s almost too much” [. ] groaned as she tried reaching between them to slide him in, only for Bakugou to growl, pushing her thighs together as he thrusted between them , the throbbing between her walls and his member made the two of them let out sound of pleasure. Feeling her clit constantly being hit by the mushroom top of bakugous dick [ ] felt herself get closer to breaking “I think I-i’m gonna cum-'' she whined as her hands went to tangle into his hair. BUt to her dismay, he stopped, lust filled eyes looked down at the tearing up ones under him

“Aww dont cry , youll get what you want” Bakugou smirked as he then slid in the now wet and sloppy mess he made between her legs, a shocked and loud screech falling from her lips as she tried to hold in the orgasm she was balancing on but all of that changed once he took a finger and traced over her sensitive clit, pushing her right over the edge. “F-fuck! Katsuuu” [ ] moaned out as he gave her a satisfied smirk, pushing her arching back down as he started to pound into her. “Cmon baby, gimme another one, i know you got it in ya” He barked out as he caged her in, his hands taking hers as nothing but moans fell from her lips, too high on her last orgasm to respond. Soon he felt her walls clench again and watched as her eyes rolled back another orgasm ripped through her “Thats it..good girl” kissing the pleasured tears that kept rolling from her eyes “ ‘ts too much..too much” She begged as he sped up, groans of ‘fuck’ and ‘cummin’ tumbling from Bakugous lips as he pushed as deep as he could `go, his dick throbbing as he filled into her. Her own walls spasmed one last time , a small but still intense last orgasm came through , mixing with the cum he filled her with.

As they came down from their highs , Bakugou sat up from her shoulder and sealed their highs with a kiss, holding the trembling girl in his arms. “Shhh it's okay baby i'm right here..you're okay” He cooed, kissing her forehead. Unknowingly to [ ] Bakugou wished for this ever since he met here at the cafe downstairs of his building. It didn't matter if he'd have to bet the most impossible and highest price to get her , no amount of money could suffice in his mind. She was smart, and driven, a hard worker and aimed to please. While she drifted on and off to sleep, he called the place she was auctioned at, telling them that she wouldn't be back and setting her to be his assistant at work. She was his, and no one was allowed to have her anymore.