#....I'll admit I kinda struggled coloring this

[thesnowflake18]

Lightbringer ✨

[ahgasegotarmy116]

The Art of Etiquette Part 7 | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Going gown shopping is proving to be a bit more difficult than you had expected and Jungkook doesn't make it any easier Pairing: f!reader x Etiquette instructor Jungkook Word Count: 4.7k~ Warnings: I don't think there's any need for warnings but so much teasinggg a/n: Sorry this too so long to get out 😭 I've lost motivation to write these days so it's been taking a bit longer for me to get chapters out but I hope you guys like it! p.s. kinda sorta edited lol I just wanted to get it out already Start from the beginning

After talking to Jesse last night about everything that happened between Jungkook and I, I've been even more confused than I was to begin with.

"HE KISSED YOU?!?!" Jesse yells into the phone making me cringe as I pull it away to save my hearing but ultimately fail. 

"I don't know, kind of but not really. He leaned in and kissed my cheek but his lips did brush up against the side of my mouth so I don't know. I'm just so confused because at the start I thought he hated me. He was rude and demanding and always tried to intimidate me. I will admit that it worked sometimes but I just never know what he actually wants from me" I complain while switching to my airpods so I can walk around my room and talk to him while looking for an outfit. 

"I think you're over thinking things. I think it all comes down to the fact that he found you challenging at first so that might've been why you thought that he hated you" he explains. 

"Challenging? What's that supposed to mean?" I question, flipping through the clothes in my closet, struggling to find something that's comfortable but not too casual, easy to take off so it makes trying on dresses a bit easier but doesn't make me look like I didn't put in any effort. You would think I was getting dressed for a first date or something based off the existential crisis I seem to be having. 

"He probably thought you were some bratty rich kid that needed a real push to break out of that mold. I bet he's had to deal with a lot of divas in his time. Don't take it personally though, I'm sure that he just goes into those first few lessons with that mindset and then loosens up a bit as you go along. Or at least that's what I would think based off of what you've told me" he explains. 

"You're probably right" I agree while trying to choose between two colors of what sweater to wear. "Pink or Blue?" I question and without hesitation he chooses pink. "What did you end up putting together?" he asks, eager to know what I've settled on. 

"Pink sweater, white skirt with nude colored leggings and some white boots. Oh and I'm pairing it with the white pea coat James got for me last Christmas" I relay, going through the outfit in my head, leaving everything on their hangers so I won't have to worry about too many wrinkles tomorrow.     

"Why are you dressing so...girly? I mean you're a girl obviously but I figured you would go with something a little more...black" he chuckles, thinking about my usual choice in attire. 

"Jungkook would send me back upstairs to change before he would take me somewhere dressed in all black clothing. He wants me to remember to dress like a lady so I might as well go into it right off the bat so I can avoid another scolding. Plus I figured a skirt would be a lot easier to take off and put back on again since I'll be trying on a few dresses" I say while finally getting myself ready for bed.

"Fair enough. If I were you though I would tell him that the only way I'm taking these clothes off is if you take them off of me if he had a problem with your outfit" he teases, making me roll my eyes at him, amused but embarrassed by his nonsense. "Jesse he's my teacher" I point out for the millionth time, hoping to get him to back off but I know it's pointless. 

"As much as you would like me to jump his bones I need to remember the purpose of our relationship. I don't want to cause James any trouble with messing around with him. I could just see the headlines, 'CEO's step daughter sleeps with her etiquette teacher', I do not  want to have to deal with the backlash from my mother either. If something were to happen between us it could ruin his reputation, making people think that he sleeps with all of his students. Plus who knows, he could've slept with his past students based off of how forward he has been with me" I say while throwing myself onto my bed and staring up at the ceiling. 

"He may be an adonis but I don't think he's the type of guy that would do that. Like he's an etiquette teacher girl, if he was to have had a scandal with a student in the past I'm sure it would've come out by now" he reasons with me and I hum in acknowledgement. 

"I guess you're right" I mumble and soon wrap up our call so I can get some 'Proper beauty sleep' according to Jesse but for the life of me I can't sleep a wink. With all of these questions spinning round and round in my head I just can't seem to ease my mind until I'm jolted awake by my alarm. 

'I guess I was able to sleep a bit' I think to myself before jumping into the shower and rushing to get ready. This'll be the first time Jungkook has seen me bright and early in the morning and not run down after a long day at school so I guess it's best if I make a good impression. 

After putting on my lip gloss to complete the look I'm met with my mother barging into my room. "You do know that Mr. Jeon is going to be here soon and oh-!" she nags quickly spewing out her speech before finally taking a look at me. 

"Look at you! I guess you really are my daughter!" she says while walking over to my mirror to stand behind me. "What's that supposed to mean?" I say crossing my arms and giving her an unamused look through the reflection. 

"It means that you look very beautiful and you're showing off your femininity and assets very well" she says referring to the shorter skirt that she hasn't ever seen me wear before. "Very funny mom now can you please leave so I can finish getting ready?" I ask, shooing her away so I can get her out of my hair, literally since she had started running her fingers through it from the back. 

"Okay okay I'm going. Would you like me to let you know when he's pulling up outside?" she asks and I nod my head and at that she's off to no doubt stand and wait for the first glimpse of him by the door. 'She's more obsessed with that man than Jesse is' I mumble to myself and quickly slip on my boots and take another look at myself before I hear my mother yelling for me to come downstairs.

I open my bedroom door and hear that Jungkook is already somehow inside the house and speaking to my mother when I had anticipated for him to just wait for me by his car. "Oh good you're here! Hurry along I heard you have a very long day ahead of you so behave yourself and do exactly as he says" she lists off and I don't bother giving her an answer. 

"Don't worry Mrs. Hart, I know she's a good girl" Jungkook shamelessly responds for me. My eyes bug out and I watch the amused look spread across his face but it's gone in a flash when my mother turns her attention back to him. "Shouldn't we get going? I know how much you hate being late and I'm sure she's waiting for us already" I say in regards to the modiste that we have an appointment with. 

"Oh yes, I'm sorry I'm holding you up. Have a good day both of you and I'll see you later tonight" she says with a smile while opening the door for us. "Oh I don't think it'll take that lo-" "I won't keep her out too late" Jungkook jumps in and I shut my mouth at his response, knowing I really have no say in the matter but also losing my wording when he places his hand on my waist to guide me over to the car. 

Walking over towards it I realize that he's switched from a four seater car to a two seater and I can't help but wonder if his motives were to not give me any other choice but to sit next to him. "I didn't realize you had another car" I say while he opens the door for me and I sit down and almost squeak at the feeling of the seats sinking down a lot lower than expected and he smirks at my reaction. 

"I have a few but I tend to take this one out every once in a while since it does best on longer trips" he informs before shutting the door for me. I nod my head while he walks around the car and gets in a lot more gracefully than I had which makes me roll my eyes and turn my face away from him. 

"Here" he says handing me an iced coffee "Oh thank you but I don't drink coffee, it makes me anxious" I say politely rejecting. "I know, Matthew told me so I got you a chai latte since to his knowledge, tends to be your favorite" he says. I thank him and receive it with both hands, my cheeks showing a dusting of pink at the thought that again he bothered to make sure he got me something that I would like. He even got me an iced one since I like those better even when it's cold outside. 

I take a couple of sips as he pulls out of the driveway and onto the street before taking notice that I had forgotten something. "Mr. Jeon I'm sorry but do you think we could turn back around? I forgot to grab my coat" I admit, cringing at the thought of inconveniencing him and messing up the schedule for today. 

"It's alright, you can just borrow mine" he says with a slight smile, no hint of irritation or condescension. "But I don't want you to be cold I-" "Y/n it's fine, I don't mind. If anything we can get you another coat once we go looking for the shoes to match your dress" he says and relaxes into his seat. 

His left hand on the wheel with his right placed on his lap where I notice that he's spreading his legs a bit further than I've seen him do before, making me gulp at the sight and turn my face away from him. 

"Is that alright with you?" he questions, making me look back over at him. "What?" I ask, not sure if I had lost track of the conversation or not. "Do you feel comfortable borrowing my jacket or should we turn back around?" he questions glancing over at me. 

"Only if you're sure" I say, wanting to give him the option to change his mind. "If I wasn't sure I wouldn't have offered. I'm asking if you're alright with it" he says and I reply simply saying yes but that's not good enough for him.

"Yes what y/n? I thought we had agreed upon using our words" he taunts and my breath hitches at the fist sign of his flirtatious attitude for the day. "Yes Mr. Jeon, I would feel comfortable borrowing your jacket" I say but he presses further. "I thought we had agreed on being more informal with each other as well" he teases and I look over at  him with a confused face as to why it would make a difference for him.

"Say my name" he says darkly causing a fluttering sensation to bloom in my stomach. "I-, what?" I stutter, not expecting this sort of behavior from him this early in the morning. 

"Say. My. Name. Or would you rather us go back to addressing each other formally?" he questions while he stops at a red light and cocks his brow at me. "Yes Jungkook, thank you for letting me borrow your jacket" I say quietly after a pause, my brain not being awake enough to come up with any smart remarks.

He smiles at that and focuses back on the road and offers me the aux to play some music since the drive is so far. "Try not to fall asleep on me again like last time. Wouldn't want to have to clean the drool off your face again" he teases while holding the chord up for me and making our hands touch since he doesn't seem to want to let go right away. 

I bring my hand down to plug my phone in and he lets his follow mine, keeping them connected for a second, letting his warm hand rest on my thigh before bringing it back towards himself and placing it back on his lap. I clear my throat to get my bearings again and quickly plug it in and play some low fi music which gets him to glance over at me again. 

"What? You don't like it?" I question feeling insecure about my choice since I don't really know what his taste in music is. Unless it's just the ballroom music that we've been dancing to for weeks now but I highly doubt that. 

"No, I do. I'm just sure that a playlist like this one would be the exact thing that would put you to sleep" he says with a crooked smile. "Well I just wasn't sure what you would like and so I figured low fi would be a safe choice" I explain and see that he's still smiling.

 "What?" I question and he glances over at me, making me suspicious of him and all of his reactions. "It's just cute that you put thought into choosing something that you thought I might like as well" he says with a lilt in his voice. 

"I just wanted both of us to enjoy the music that's all" I say, crossing my arms over my chest as a defense mechanism to hide the fact that he's made my heart rate pick up with his simple words. "And that's what I found cute about it" he says, rubbing it in since he can clearly see that it's making me shy. 

"You know, you can be quite irritating sometimes right?" I say as a way to defend myself and make him stop teasing me. "Who me? Am I not allowed to compliment a pretty girl for acting cute?" he plays coy and before I'm able to respond he corrects himself. "Excuse me, a beautiful woman from acting kindly towards me" he finishes and I can't seem to come up with any response to it so instead I choose to angle my body away from him and look out the window. 

"You can put on something you like instead. I tend to enjoy all genres of music" he says, reeling in the teasing and giving me a break thankfully. I in spite, choose to go with one of my angsty playlists full of artists like Simple Plan, Blink 182 and Linkin Park, thinking that it would be something he wouldn't enjoy but to my surprise I catch him drumming his thumbs on the steering wheel to the beat. 

As the playlist shuffles through the songs I catch him singing along to the opening of Bring Me to Life by Evanescence and it's then when I turn my body to face him again. "You know this song?" I question, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You didn't think that you were the only one who had their emo phase did you?" he laughs and again I'm given another reason to see him in another light. 

As the song progresses we end up doing the call and response of it, with him settling on the guy's part and myself on the girl's and somehow it all just clicks. It's as if we were just two friends on a roadtrip together and it feels, nice? Right? I don't know but it's as if we'd known each other for our whole lives.

There's a comfortable silence once the song comes to a close and we both glance at each other a few moments later and laugh it off. "You weren't kidding when you said you had an emo phase" I tease and he laughs in response. 

"We promised to be honest with each other have we not?" he chuckles after calming down a bit with me, wiping away the few tears that had fallen in the midst of my laughter. "You're right, we have" I respond and again we settle into a comfortable silence before he asks me a question to keep me talking. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" he questions, glancing over at me before turning his attention back towards the road. "I mean there's not much to tell" I say, not having anything in particular stick out to me but he unsurprisingly presses nonetheless.

"There must be something going on in that pretty little head of yours" he teases I take in a sharp breath, his compliments always catching me off guard. "Why do you always compliment me and tease me like that?" I say quickly without giving my brain a second to stop me. "Tease you like what?" he asks with a huge smile, not expecting me to just come out and say it. 

"Why do you do that Jungkook?" I ask, using his first name to show him I'm serious about this question. "Do you not like it when I compliment you?" he deflects. "Answer the question Jungkook" I reiterate since he doesn't have a care in the world at this point. 

"Because you're beautiful" he admits as if it would have no effect on me. "I-" "What? You expect me to spend this much time with you and not come to notice how beautiful you are?" he asks, looking over at me as we reach a stop light. I sit there without an answer, not knowing whether I should acknowledge his words or just brush them off. 

We had agreed to be less formal with each other but did he think that was a green light to trying to pursue me? I've gotta talk to Jesse about this. 

"Looks like we made it just in time" he states a few minutes later as we pull up to the modiste, seeing that the kind woman that had helped us out before waving at us through the window. 

"You ready?" he asks, scaring me at the sudden concern in his voice. "You're scaring me" I laugh off and watch as he gets out of the car and comes around to open my door for me.

"Let's just say it's going to be a long day" he explains, holding his hand out for me to take and I graciously do. Seeing how low these seats sink down I would probably make a fool out of myself if I were to try and get out on my own. 

Once I stand up I stumble a bit and lose my footing leaving me bracing myself on his chest, my hands pressed firmly against his pectorals but I push off of them once I feel them flex under his incredibly tailored dress shirt and again lose my balance but he pulls me in close by the waist before I can manage to tumble back down into the car. 

"You alright?" he smirks with his hand still firmly against my waist and his hand pressed against the car behind me, placing us in a similar position we had been in just last night. "I'm fine" I say after clearing my throat and placing my hand on top of the one he has on my waist as a way to request for him to let me go. 

"Hey, are we okay?" He asks, tilting his head to meet my downward turned gaze. "Why wouldn't we be?" I question, felling on fire being this close to him. "I just hope I haven't made you feel uncomfortable. I really do think you're beautiful" he says, placing a hand on my cheek and bringing my chin up to face him. 

"Can we talk about this later? She's watching" I ask, nodding toward the dressmaker inside who is clearly enjoying the show. "I don't mind, I just want to make sure that we're okay" he says, deepening his gaze if even possible and I just nod and utter a quick yes before slipping out of his grasp and speed walking to the door. 

He braces both of his hands on the roof on the car I had just been leaning against and lets out a dry chuckle before pushing off and closing the door, catching the last glimpse of me scurrying into the shop. 'Cute' is the only word that comes to mind for him at our whole exchange and my reactions to it all and it would continue to be his reaction throughout the whole day as he watches me try to find the perfect dress. 

~~~~

"Welcome back dearie" she greets me with a knowing smile, not even bothering to pretend she hadn't seen everything that transpired between Jungkook and I. "Good to see you again" I say, meeting her with a shy smile, hoping she won't address the topic, or at least with Jungkook right on my heels. 

"I'm sorry ma'am in all of the excitement from the first time I had been here I never managed to catch your name" I say, scolding myself for forgetting to even ask. "You can call me Genevieve dear. And remember, I said you could lose the formality with me, especially since I would love to have some girl talk with you about Mr. Jeon" she teases with a wink and before I'm able to protest she's already greeting Jungkook right behind me.

"Mr. Jeon how lovely to see you again. I see you've both become better acquainted with each other since the last time you were here" she says, stopping Jungkook in his tracks and leaving me clearing my throat and awkwardly requesting that we get started. 

I glance back at Jungkook and see how the tips of his ears have turned red, not having expected her to come right out with it but it makes me smile nonetheless, seeing once again that I'm not the only one that gets shy in this dynamic we have going. 

~~~~

After trying on dress after dress after dress we can't seem to find the right one. "What about the dress you picked out when we first came here? That one won't work for this event?" I yell to Jungkook from behind the curtain as Genevieve helps me out of what feels like the hundredth dress. 

"It doesn't fit the season nor the occasion. Just try on a few more and if we can't find one we can look through the catalogue and order one and come back for a fitting later on this week" he responds without a care. 

"It'll be a bit of a tight squeeze in terms of time if we were to do it that way though" she warns me as she zips up the next dress and before I can even take ten steps out of the dressing room Jungkook has already disapproved of it.

"You don't like this one?" I question looking down at it, but then after having seen it in a different lighting realize that I hate it too. "You really want to ask me that question again?" he cocks a brow at me. I let out a sigh and my whole demeanor droops as I walk back into the dressing room. 

"Hey" Jungkook says, walking up on me before I'm even able to close the curtain. "Don't scare me like that" I say, placing a hand over my chest as an automatic response. "Why don't we take a break? There's an Indian restaurant down the street from here so we can have lunch and then come back. That sound alright to you?" he asks and chuckles at seeing my face light up at the idea.

"I'll take that as a yes" he says with a smug smile. "Can you help me get out of this? Genevieve had a hard time with the zipper so I think her hands might be getting a little tired of doing this" I ask, turning my back to him and giving a perfectly innocent excuse as to why I'm seeking his help but I can see his amused smile in the small mirror that he doesn't seem to notice that's placed right in front of me.

"Of course Pretty" he smiles and he takes his time dragging the zipper down and his brows shoot up at the realization that I'm not wearing a bra with this dress and once he's finished he runs his finger along my spine, seeing a slight red mark from the constant rub of the zippers of multiple dresses and I see his brows draw together at the realization.

"Let's get you out of here. We can come back another day to continue but I think you've had enough" he says running his finger along the line once more, causing a shiver that I had been trying to hold back to run up my spine but at his concern for the slight marks the dresses had left on my skin he decides to ignore it.

"It's okay, let's go eat and once we're done I'll try on a few more. I feel like the both of us will be able to think a bit straighter on a full stomach. Don't you think?" I ask, turning around to face him with one arm placed over my chest to hold up the dress being the only space between him and my bare skin. 

"If that's what you want" he says, his eyes tracing the slight bit of bare skin he's able to see on my chest and up to my eyes. "I'll just ask her to get a few more dresses ready for us while we're gone" he says and tells me through the curtain minutes later that he'll meet me outside. 

"You're a sly one love" Genevieve says as I come out of the dressing room fully clothed. "What makes you say that?" I question, tilting my head in confusion. "You knew I was coming back in a few seconds but asked him to unzip the dress for you anyway" she says and I widen my eyes, surprised that she has seen that exchange. "Nothing goes on in this shop without me knowing love" she chuckles at my reaction and gives me a little jar of salve. 

"What's this?" I question curiously, turning the jar over in my hands. "Mr. Jeon noticed the red marks the dresses left on your back and got worried so he asked me if I had anything that might with that" she says giving me a quick wink. "Now hurry along love and I'll see you soon" she says ushering me out and watching as I walk up to Jungkook leaning against my side of the car and looking up when he hears me coming. 

"You sure you want to come back today? I can ask her to schedule another day for us to come back" he says, still leaning against the car with his arms now crossed over his chest and observing my form to see any signs of discomfort but the only thing that has me nervous are his wandering eyes.

"I'm fine Jungkook I promise" I say while looking down and pulling on the sleeve on my sweater in an effort to warm up my hands a bit and shield them from the cold. He hooks his finger under my chin and brings my eyes up to him and studies my features before making the decision that I'm still up for the task. 

"Okay" he agrees, caressing my face for a second before using that same hand and places it on my waist and turns to open the car door and helps me in again. He places his coat over my lap, noticing that I'm shivering. I murmur a quick thank you before he closes the door, going around the car to get to the driver's side, waving at Genevieve before getting in the car as well. 

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[wiltkingart]

Do you have any advice on how 2 not overwork a drawing? Over-detailing my art (to the detriment of the final result) is a big weakness of mine, and ive been working on it lately, but simplifying my art is way harder than I thought itd be. I keep getting stuck in a mentality that less detail = less effort, even though all my struggling should prove that isnt true lol. & I almost always like my simpler drawings better, even though that makes me feel kinda lazy…as long as it’s fun tho, right? [1/2]

I’m asking here bc one of the things I adore about your work is how confident and striking your paintings feel. I really admire the way colors and shape language interact in your art…I always want to keep looking to see what I can find hidden in the details, but they don’t take away from the main focus of the image. How do you manage to strike that balance? [2/2] (sorry for the long question lol)

honestly this is still something i struggle with at times! but some things that have helped me are:

- identifying which parts i tend to overwork the most. for me thats faces so i have made it a conscious habit to render faces last. that way i can match my level of face rendering to the rest of the piece.

- working on all parts of the painting at once. some artists are able to work on a painting from section to section. this is not me, regardless of detail level. jumping around all over the place keeps me from focusing too hard on one section above others. i even take this one step further by working on 2+ paintings simultaneously but there is something wrong with me for this one i'll admit.

- staying zoomed out for as long i can. this goes in hand with the previous point but when you're zoomed out its easier to lay down the biggest/primary color blocks without the temptation to detail. once the main color blocks are nicely balanced its easier to pick out a few points of interest to add spots of detail to, and restrain myself to them. (easier said than done! but i try!)

- getting comfortable with backtracking / deleting overworked sections and layers. this might seem scary but this has saved my ass more times than you might think. i always save a version of my drawings before i merge everything / start rending so i can always copy over earlier sections if needed.

- cold turkey removing details from the equation for a while. i did this more from necessity than choice, because i was struggling with my health a few years back and had zero energy to sink into art for long hours. but looking on the bright side it helped me realize what details are/aren't necessary and how to build my features from big -> small. this progression of my patho art shows pretty well how i introduced details back into my work over time.

but yeah! sometimes i do still find myself creeping a little too close to overwork territory for comfort, even with all these safeguards in place. in that case i have to accept that not every piece i put out will be my 'best' and that perfection has no place in art. that's not the point of it!

simplifying forms isn't easy, the same way abstract art isn't lazy. but with all things it can be learned with enough practice. and if you decide at the end of it all that you still like drawing a lot details, it might be a matter of readjusting how / where you implement them. best of luck <3

[ninjagirlstar5]

Beware of the Clowns.

Sorry this one took a while to post. This has been done for awhile now but I was struggling to decide which patterns looked best on Satsuki and stuff. Even after talking with friends, I'm not sure which versions I like best, which I'll share under read more. I've also just been busy with work and school at the same time. Nonetheless, Satsuki's was an interesting one to tackle as her design was pretty good and made sense for an Ultimate Clown, if a bit plain. I'll admit, I kinda struggled on what direction I wanted to go for her since, you know, she's a clown. Trying to figure out a clown design for her that's unique and isn't just her OG design in a new paint was kinda hard. Still, I tried my best to come up with something that I liked. Her one piece clown suit was changed to one with a skirt instead, with the buttons being replaced with puffy ones, and kept the sleeves big and puffy. Since she's no longer wearing pants, I gave her stockings with a polka dot pattern to match her suit, and changed her pointy jester shoes with big clown shoes. Although I'll admit, they don't look very big so I'll have to adjust that in future drawings. Her hair and hat weren't change all that much in style, I just adjusted them to look a bit more interesting and the star and moon symbols were no longer on strings and are just attached to the ends of the hat. I also gave her clown makeup to really put emphasize on her Ultimate talent. I stuck to the pink, blue, and bits of gold color palette, but I had the idea of switching which side had blue and pink with each piece of clothing. To make her feel a little bit silly and wacky with the asymmetry in colors, you know? With that, I made a version of her without the hair and makeup and we're essentially done.

Haru, your girlfriend is here to pick you up, tiny clown car and all-

(Also, here's the other pattern versions that I made under read more.)

Version 1.0

Version 2.0

[incorrectelswordquotes]

Do you remember when the job progression quests had dialogue cutscenes and difficult quests? Each town had its own gear and you'd have to drop blue-background items to upgrade it. And it was character-specific too. Ice statues had to be crafted, and the ingredients would just pile up in your inventory. There was Unique equipment for every region you had a chance to drop after a boss battle, and it'd be shown in the chat. Plant Overlord's accessory was the top trending thing. Rena was blonde and did a flip when she double jumped. The first field introduced was the one between Hamel and Velder. The level cap was 40 and it was *hard* to get there.

I sure don't miss a lot of this stuff, but looking back, it feels like a wholly different game.

i played around when the game was still like this for the most part, except the level cap at the time was 70? and then over time it jumped to 90 but my middle-school/high-school ass couldn't keep up. actually, i remember seeing the new UI the game has for the health bars and that was already enough to throw me off. not that it looks bad, but i remember seeing this UI for the longest time:

vs this:

like as much as i miss the one i got acquainted with, this new one is a lot simpler and cleaner? yet it retains that cartoony vibe with the slanted bars so thats neat. and then there's THIS:

i'll admit i havent played during this era but man this looks busy af. it was simple yea, but something feels off about it. like i love the look here too but it kinda clashes colors-wise. there's not too much of a difference between the original UI and the one after it but i could tell it needed slimming down.

while i was gone i also learned that the previous privately-hosted server VoidEls was shut down but was eventually replaced by another, which is fair enough i guess.

"Each town had its own gear and you'd have to drop blue-background items to upgrade it. And it was character-specific too."

this was both cool and annoying, for me personally at least. it's cool in that every town having gear gave you a way to progress before getting even stronger gear. sort of like a jumping-off point for every town you got to as they handed you their own version of stuff you could use. and you could emulate their aesthetic by wearing their gear. the annoying part is that constantly switching gear means item management is necessary to prevent your inventory from maxing out, and not every item looked good on you. if you didn't have skins? tough luck. (my memory might be wrong here so please correct me if i messed something up)

"...job progression quests had dialogue cutscenes and difficult quests?"

THEY GOT RID OF THOSE!? maybe im jaded but as a writer, i liked seeing the player-characters' personal struggle as they progressed through a job-specific mission. those short cutscenes let us see what they're really like. even if some of the requirements really were trash. i still remember spamming the same dungeon over and over hoping for a quest drop (or multiple) so i can move on. but after hearing the story was consolidated to be one singular, linear path regardless of who you played, maybe they streamlined the job class progression system too?

update: yea it seems you still have to spam dungeons to upgrade to Master Class but it looks less tedious than before for previous class ranks.

"Plant Overlord's accessory was the top trending thing."

boss accessories were the bane of my existence so this makes sense. it seems like it's unobtainable, as many overworld zones and dungeons have since been removed based on what i just looked up

im assuming Plant Overlord isn't fightable anymore or only shows up in some elite zone now so rip

"Rena was blonde and did a flip when she double jumped."

i didn't know this. in fact when i checked her wiki page, the change was because her hair wasn't green enough despite her class art showing her as having green-hued hair.

speaking of the wiki,

holy fucking shit thats a lot of classes

[kairiscorner]

Could you possibly write hcs for Ben Reilly with a goth, black cat reader who's somewhat of an antihero in his universe? Very chill and introverted to contrast with his dramatic angst self lol

(Love your writing sm, hope all is well :D)

HELLOOOOOO fuck, i love that wHATTT yes please <333 i hope you like this !!

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

btw, i made some space for ben reilly fics here on my taglist, you can drop your user to be updated on fics i drop about our blonde sweetie o(*≧▽≦)

i think the first time you guys met would be when he would be assigned to contain an anomaly that made its way into his universe, but when he was struggling to beat it, you managed to subdue it almost immediately–and nonchalantly yk, like it's a normal day for you to be taking down villains that have wreaked havoc in your city but in a different font.

"yo, not cool, but... really kinda cool though... who are you?" he'd ask you as you kinda whisk him away from the fallen villain (carrying him bridal style bc that is the only right way to hold my baby boy) "not a friend." you'd reply as you drop him to the ground. "ow. you are... quite the formidable foe, then." "would a foe have saved your blonde ass?" "okay, fair point."

he's been looking forward to seeing you ever since you saved him, trying to one-up you and save you and have you think of him as often as he thought of you after he met you :>

he noticed that you had a pretty goth aesthetic, so he...... he kinda changed his wardrobe to a more black and gray kind of apparel to match with you, or whatever colors you like to use! the point is, he wants, so badly, to match with you <33

he would be patrolling in areas he'd sense you were at and just swing over to you, kinda perch next to you as you watch lounge about, just minding your own business.

"hey..." he'd nudge you as you scoot away from him, with him following you and scooching over to you as you moved away. "i really like your... outfit." "thanks." a silence befalls you two as he thinks of what to say, he's never been this close to anyone before (though you two aren't really that close yet) "you look so... pulchritudinous." he murmurs as you look at him with perplexity in your eyes. "pulchri... what?" "it's a big word that basically means... you look beautiful. i thought you'd like it, um, i mean... i knew you'd like it, i, uh, caught you reading poetry the other... nevermind." he shut himself up before he could continue exposing himself to you.

when he gets a small wound from the villain, he clings on to you and """wails""" about how this is the end of ben reilly! the end of... you two... you push him off you as he asks himself why that didn't work, usually people would love to kiss his booboos :(

when he told you he was admitted into the spider society, he had expected you to be much more proud of him, but seeing you be so chill about it kinda disappointed him. "aren't you proud? i'm with the greats!" "i am, just... i don't know. it'll mean you won't always be here with me, will you?" you ask him with a tone of longing he had never heard come from you before. at that, he immediately wraps his arms around you and SOBS. "BABE I WILL ALWAYS COME BACK, I PROMISE...! I'LL LEAVE THEM IF IT MEANS I WON'T BE WITH YOUUUUUUU......" he sniffles into your shoulder as he cries about the thought of him leaving you for a long while eats away at him. even through your comforting, he's determined to make sure he comes home and stays with you, even if you insist you'll be fine on your own.

[onedaughterofman]

Heya I don't know if you do that but would love to read some Ghoul fluff 🥺 I just need some Aether love, Ive had rough weeks at school with exams and passive bullying. If not, sorry! But I really love reading your writings, dear! ❤️

Hi! I'm sorry to hear you're going through a hard time. I used to struggle a lot with bullying when I was a teen, so I kinda get how awful it is.

Honestly, I'm not really working on requests right now, but maybe I can manage to give a little something.

Hope (Aether ghoul x g/n reader)

He's there, in the hallway, waiting for you.

These little meetups are a routinary deal. Other Siblings have begun whispering among each other, talking about the strange relationship you have developed with the Nameless Ghoul.

A part of you is surprised, also, by his fascination and appreciation towards you. Contrary to what you initially believed, this Ghoul is not a scary and mean infernal creature. He has displayed a gentle, tender side that both intrigues and charms you to the core.

Now, standing in front of him, you start to walk in direction of the garden. It's late at night, and your daily duties have left an unpleasant taste in your mouth. Lately, life seems to be a constant struggle; nothing but a heavy weigh on your shoulders.

Muscles sore and throat tight, you continue. Aether, as fans and Siblings of Sin have named him, follows closely behind. He doesn't speak much, never does, but the silence feels comforting and welcomed.

The air is chill and the bench is cold when you sit down. Letting out a long sigh, you search for your voice. It's hidden deep in your stomach, in a way that makes your words sound strained when you speak up.

"It's been a rough week," you say, after a moment.

The Ghoul nods once, encouraging. His stare is locked in the distance, lost somewhere in the garden. The sky is dark, only illuminated by the moonlight, and in the distance you see a group of fireflies roaming around the flower field, tails twinkling like stars.

As the minutes pass, Aether remains silent, pensive. Then, from the pocket of his uniform, he extracts a single piece of candy wrapped in colorful paper. Without moving his head, he extends his hand in your direction.

You take his offering. The sweet flavor of the candy manages to lift the corners of your mouth in a small smile. Next to you, he imitates the gesture.

"Another week will come," Aether states, after a beat. The moonlight reflects on the glass lenses of his masks, bathing him in an ethereal shine.

"Is that supposed to be comforting?"

"Aren't humans always afraid of running out of time?" Even if you can't see his face, you hear the confusion in his voice. "Another week will come, and then another. That doesn't mean they will all be rough. Maybe they'll be good, or not. It doesn't matter. Another one will come."

Another piece of candy is presented in front of your eyes. Slowly, you reach out to it, fingers brushing the leather of his gloves. Even so, you feel the heat coming from his body.

It's.. comforting. "That's strangely optimistic," you reply, before putting the candy in your mouth.

Aether only shrugs. "I spend too much time around humans. I'm starting to feel… hope, I think", he confesses, in a hushed tone. It's as if he's admitting something private, almost embarrassing. "If someone like me can hope anything, then I hope another week will come, so I'll get to spend it with you."

His words force you to take a deep breath. They touch something tender inside of your heart, a sensitive nerve that makes your guts feel warm and fuzzy.

At a slow pace, you lean your head on his shoulders. He nods once, head turning back towards the garden. In front of you, the fireflies dance around the flowers.

"I hope that too," you whisper, at last, before closing your eyes.

Ps: I tried.

[azureaqua]

Oh my, She did it again! (a.k.a Ikevamp artbreeder edits this time - Pt. 2)

Yup, here we go, Part 2! Let's resume!

↓

Part 1 here, if you missed it!

• Leonardo da Vinci

(I admit I was worried about him, when I started. I couldn't convert his avatar into a semi-realistic guy in my head immediately, so I was unsure. But I went with it, kind of mindlessly and just enjoyed the ride. And it worked! I think he got that mature, older-man look! A relaxed but piercing stare at the same time, and a laid-back expression! His hair is nothing like the game design but you know... I don't hate the extra curls. ;))

• Comte de Saint-Germain

(This is my take on him. It's not so good, not so bad, it's something... But I know I'll never be able to live down @redweed 's edit of him, that I saw once, it was utter perfection. He didn't even got the exact hair color, and its shape has a life of its own. Sorry, Comte. I went for and older, more mature look for him too, like Leo, since the dude's an ancient vampire, so might as well add some age to his gentlemanly features. Maybe his stare is a bit harsh? Not as welcoming and gentle, but a decent try from me!)

• Jean d'Arc

(Again, that one guy with the eyepatch. But this time I didn't struggle that much when drawing it on after. Yeah, I also edited his hair... The other picture is the actual portrait I achieved in artbreeder, minus the eye color. His hair was impossible to do - for me at least -, so I didn't even try. Like with Comte. I went more for the hair color, instead. It's decent, I like his blank and stone-faced stare. And I like how the hair and eyepatch drawing came out! He looks nice!)

• Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

(He was one of the first — IF NOT the first that I completed. I don't remember. His features overall seem a bit strange and a bit possessed, with this eye color. His hair is a tad bit longer than in the game, but I'm actually surprised and happy that I could keep the pure white and it doesn't fade into a grayish color midway, just at the neck area, where it's darker anyway, due to shadows and overlapping lol. I'm satisfied with it! He's a bit grumpy but isn't he always like that?)

• William Shakespeare

(I admit, I kind of forgot about him, and I realized in the last minute that he's missing. Sorry, Shakes. He was similar to Leonardo, couldn't really imagine him right away, but as I searched and just went with it, it came out nice in the end! I went for a gentle look and longer hair, but damn— this time his hair came out really long XD. It looks like he has a long ponytail that reaches his shoulders, and it's a big unhinged, but it's okay since Will is unhinged too, sometimes. Even his mismatched eyes look nice, I like him!)

• Vlad

(I REALLY wanted to go for that soft and pure smile he usually wears! But he also has strong features; a long, firm jaw and nicely curved mouth, so it took a while. But I achieved what I wanted! And in the end, his hair came out good too! By that time, I didn't even pay that much attention to hairstyles. But he looks decent nonetheless, in my opinion. I kind of messed up with his eye color, but nvm. He has that sweet, pure but adult-like, mature look at the same time.)

• Johann Georg Faust

(Okay, OKAY. Everyone calm down! Don't lose control, I know he looks really good! XD. No, but for real, I didn't even spent that much time on him — with editing on glasses and all. AND HE CAME OUT LIKE THIS. AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO'S IN LOVE?? Be my husband, Faust. I was interested in him so far too, but NOW. Although the shape of his glasses are kinda off, you can see the general idea. I drew on his ear cuff and the small chain attached to it, connecting it with his specs, and edited his eyes, but I didn't even need to touch his hair! He just looks sooo good. And his strict, ruthless expression is one to die for too!)

• Charles-Henri Sanson

(I wanted to make him soft, but not as soft as Vincent. And I wanted to add difference in his features too, of course. I unintentionally made his hair this curly, but it makes him cuter in my opinion. I wanted a semi-smiling, gentle expression on him. I didn't draw his earrings on, and his eyes don't pop as much as in the art. But he's precious, isn't he?)

Yay, another one of the Ikemen games is done!

(Now I need to make one for the Sengoku guys, right? Well, who knows, my page is pretty messed up now in artbreeder lol.)

Overall I'm really satisfied with the whole gang, they look really nice!

And the realistic filter helped them a lot! <3

[livewireprojects]

Nikki & Reala(Bootleg Sonadow)

I admit my addiction is bad but this isn't the first time I've made shit based on other interests/characters I like. So I decided to make some characters inspired by a ship I like along with AU ideas I saw in the past that I tried messing with before scrapping at one point or another.

This is Reala & Nikki who like the title jokes are inspired by Shadow & Sonic, it might not look like it(not helped by lack of color) especially if you have seen how I draw Shadow & Sonic but when I eventually work on showing their backstories it'll make more sense. Also yeah I named Reala after a certain nightmare clown, I'm not original. These two are also meant to be connected to my OCs Terry & Arthur(Nikki makes that kinda clear) which I'll talk about at another time.

Also these two aren't meant to be in the Sonic universe, they're in their own thing but you can joke that they're alternate Shadow & Sonic if you want cause I find that funny

Reala:

Reala is a bit of a distant person, he seems a lot like a loner with only some people managing to be around him but in reality he's just an introvert that isn't good with people especially given he's lost people he's cared about in the past. Reala was born in a lab on a space station, there were a few people he cared about & was sadly in two incidents that led to the lose of people important to him with one person's existence being erased from records & their partner's info being corrupted so no one could find anything on them. Though grieving the lose of his family/those close to him along with dealing with changes/the new world he now lives in Reala has slowly accepted he's in a better time & takes comfort in Nikki's help/companionship. He's slowly learning to live for himself & get into hobbies he hadn't gotten the chance to try in the past, he's also gotten help from Nikki to learn about the world they live on as Nikki knows more about it than he does.

Nikki:

Nikki is a friendly person that likes to run around & explore, he can often be seen sky gazing at night before bed staring out a the stars. He does his best to keep up with/understand his friends as he doesn't always understand what they're talking about, despite this he does his best to listen cause he knows it's important to have a shoulder to lean on or someone to talk to. Nikki in the past has struggled especially due to being alone for a long time but is slowly coming to terms with having people that care surround him, it also helps that Reala has been growing closer to him as Nikki use to feel like something was missing but now feels like that feeling is gone as if Reala was what was missing. Nikki can often be seen wearing star themed stuff along with his hat & hoodie poncho, he doesn't always but he's usually seen in them. Nikki isn't affected by temperature, he can feel it & can get hurt depending on what's going(like touching a heated stove or something) but it doesn't effect him much all of this is just to say he doesn't really need to wear these warm clothes. Nikki sometimes says that the poncho feels like someone is hugging him which might be due to being alone in the past. His hat & poncho often make it hard to tell what species of animal he is, not helped by Nikki kind of being unsure himself.

Drew this a little after drawing Reala & Nikki, here's Nikki with out his hat/poncho that usually cover him. I think I made a mistake drawing the hat in his hand cause I don't exactly like how it looks like that.

Like I mentioned in the first pic Nikki is often seen wandering around in a hat & poncho that make it hard to tell what species he is & makes it seem like he's not to sure either.(He's mostly hedgehog) Nikki has a few outfits he can put on but he usually is in tanks & sports shorts, he also has sports shoes on & some socks/stockings that are rolled at the ankles, I drew one of them slightly unrolled to show they're longer.(Was tempted to have the unrolled one be above the knee but I dunno what to put so it's just partly unrolled) Nikki has one large glove on & one normal sized glove, for some reason I got inspired by this one red ridding hood design I found once & can't find anymore.(Google Image Search failed) Probably doesn't help that I use to have an obsession with red riding hood themed stuff.

I was almost tempted to draw him without his shoes but meh. He also has a few markings on him like his ears, under his eyes, neck & legs.

[n4talia-chaparro]

•Contains - scars, mention of deep sleep in the 6th pic, childhood trauma, cringe design, etc.

🌙|| ꒷꒦︶🪻︶︶꒷꒦︶∪∪︶꒷꒦︶︶🪻︶꒷꒦ || 🌙

•MELVINBORG/F.MELVIN CRAPPY DESIGN• ||

(for the 3rd sequel design I guess. I haven't finished writing the damn fanfic yet and I'm over here making sequels without publishing the first one yet. Wtf. God I'm useless)

Remember when I said Melvinborg had a different backstory in the AU maybe I might try to explain his backstory (very soon or sum. Insecurities are kicking in) before he became a "human half cyborg" I think.

I've been thinking what will he looks like if he WASN'T a cyborg and I fucked it up. I'll admit it, I'm proud of how it came out but at the same time it worries me that most people will get angry if I ever explain his goofy backstory.

Let's just say that his backstory isn't that perfect. He hasn't changed that much since his childhood and he grew up with it but this time in the worst way. Although it's gonna take a while for him to change, he may seem a little goofy. He works as a communicator or a teacher and focuses on science. Still struggling to cope and doesn't wanna seek help.

--

He still prefers being called "Sneedly" (it never gets old to him.) However he would then name himself "Sneedborg" after the terrible incident.

--

His design might be weird honestly. Melvin (or Sneedly) would be wearing something less yellowish (I kinda?), something similar to Mr. Fyde's outfit, and others combined stupidly and you know-

Sometimes he would wear anything to make it a little fancy. Little did you know, Melvinborg (Sneedborg) likes to wear any type of style that fits him. Not only that he would wear anything, but most likely he may wear any bowtie or tie ("necktie") with the color purple to represent his abuser. (Look I know. It sounds weird and confusing but you know, there's gotta be a reason for him to wear a tie & bowtie). Sometimes he may wear red or any color he may like.

--

His personalities are similar to Melvin's. Well I mean who knows? But Sneedborg struggles to stay focused like his younger self and gets more aggressive. Little did you know he is weird and unlike the other adults Sneedborg tries hard not to be childish. However, he struggles with an identity crisis and doesn't know how to be himself.

This means he only imitates and copies Krupp's words, facial expressions, and actions. Does Sneedlyborg hurt people? Not exactly but he struggles to stay calm and gets easily aggressive like I said. Causing him to attack or bite people without knowing. Although he does wanna change he is SCARED to move on and prefer to NOT vent or talk to no one about it.

So uh yeah that's all I've to say. Uh, so cringe ikr.

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶���꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

[He wears anything so it's uh optional, yippee. So don't be surprised if he wears something else besides his casual clothes]

Bro just has so many clothes collection,,,,

[branmuffins22]

for the toh ask game- 2, 8, 12?

from this ask game:

2. Ramble about your favorite character of all time as much as you want. We're listening

Ohhhh boy. Oh man. Oh geez. You play a dangerous game, starting out with the kicker.

The obvious choice would be Luz, right? because she's like, the perfect main character. Lovable, relatable, flawed, believable (mostly; those fireworks were a bit much), clever, emotional, funny, the list goes on.

But.

However.

I have to go with Vee.

To me, Vee is all those things and more. She's still relatable, but for completely different (some unaddressed by canon, some completely made up by me) reasons. She's the cutest sweetest little shapeshifter we actually got the chance to get to know (sorry Stringbean). She's flawed, she'd completely given up on Luz's return and was ready to throw away whatever parts of her life she didn't jive with, and then even after most of a day of hanging out with her, she was STILL kinda mad at her! She's got confusing emotions and she was able to admit it! She's a tortured and traumatized kid who's trying maybe a bit too hard to put it all behind her, and even her more fantastical struggles are made to make perfect sense in that context. She's clever and observant enough to blend in with humans (and even convince Camila she was Luz for a while), and she was instrumental in solving the rebus. She's funny not just in her sense of humor (which is anywhere from awkward to earnest to dry, all hilarious), but also in the dichotomy of being one of the more "normal" "human" characters in the show, despite not really being either of those things (part of a thought-extinct species, and unique even among others of that species. said species is a kind of magic-eating shape-shifting demon from another realm, and here she is in suburban connecticut, idly learning spanish with her friends).

She's my precious baby blorbo and I love her. She's chubby (I'm chubby), she's awkward around her crush (I'm awkward around my crush (and also in general)), she likes to wear warm colors and big boots (I like to wear warm colors and big boots (not that I have any that fit well enough for daily wear)), she's got a bit of an overbite (I had one when I was young), she is (or, I guess, was?) kinda sorta something like a twin (I'm a twin), her hair is poofy and long (at least in her epilogue design) (my hair is poofy and long), augh, she feels basically tailor-made for me. I'm not exaggerating when I say I learned to love certain parts of myself by loving them first in her.

She's perfect.

also. im gonna rant about her even more in the next bit, sorrynotsorry.

8. Any headcanons? If so, which are your favorite?

Soooo many. Like, enough that I'm writing a whole ass barely-even-canon-divergent AU just to give myself the excuse to explore them. Actually, kinda writing two if you count MatVNN, but it's more of a post-canon affair.

Probably my favorite, though, is Vee being trans (and a bunch of other flavors of queer). I'll admit, a lot of the things that make me like Vee so much are just Sorta Plausible Shit I Came Up With, and chief among them is my trans Vee theory.

So, I'll start with the canon stuff:

Vee is rather unique, even among basilisks. Her tail has 3 fins rather than the other basilisks' 1 or 2 fins, her eyes have a different structure (and more individual colors) than the others', and she has a distinct head and neck that the other basilisks don't have. She's also a lot smaller than the other basilisks: about half the size of III and IV, and even smaller compared to the "greater basilisk" which attacked Hexside (we'll call her the Inspector). In the epilogue, Vee's size doesn't appear to have changed much, if at all (hell, even in her human form, she doesn't look much taller), nor have the sizes of III and IV. The only change any of them appear to have gone through is that Vee has more/longer hair, some of which is a lighter cyan than the previous navy blue, which still remains at her roots and on her ears.

Those are the facts. Now, there could be any number of reasons for her unique traits.

The doylist reason is the easiest: she was designed to look smaller and more humanoid to appear to the audience as more sympathetic. Her strange eyes could just be a bit of fun character design, something to make her stand out on screen. No biggie.

The watsonian reasons are a lot more compelling to me though.

She could very well be quite young for a basilisk. Perhaps their eyes change shape and lose some of their color as they grow up. Perhaps the neck becomes less distinct as they get older. Perhaps even after the 3+ year timeskip before the epilogue, Vee was still prepubescent for a basilisk.

Perhaps the various basilisks are representative of different species within the same family (ex. the Inspector is called a "greater basilisk", but the others are just referred to as "basilisks"), and Vee's unique traits are staples of whatever specific species she is (I first came across this theory in A Blight on Bonesborough, by GeminiAlchemist, and they proposed "fat-tailed basilisk" as the name of Vee's species, mostly for the sake of a gag)

One of the more interesting theories is that she's only half basilisk. I wasn't the one to come up with it, but I don't remember who was, so for that I apologize, but basically, there was a theory going around for a little while after her introduction, that Vee was actually the bastard child of one of the other basilisks and Warden Wrath. The biggest point of evidence was the yellow pupils, a trait only shared between Vee and Wrath, as well as the fact that Wrath was clearly involved in the basilisk project, as shown in Vee's flashbacks in Yesterday's Lie. It's not my favorite theory by any means, but it's a super interesting one, very angsty.

My personal theory, however, and the theory on which I base a few of my other Vee headcanons, is that all the myriad differences between Vee and the other basilisks can be explained away by a simple case of sexual dimorphism in the basilisk species. "Number 5" was simply the only "male" basilisk shown on screen.

Now, what's the evidence for this theory? There is none! As with all the best headcanons, there's no real reason it should be true, but there's ALSO no definitive evidence it isn't true.

So, Number 5 escaped the labs, wandered into the Human Realm, took the form of the only human he'd seen, and spent 3 months at summer camp incidentally trying out being a girl. Turns out, she liked it! So when the time came to give Luz back her identity, Vee made her own new form a girl too.

Now, this headcanon comes with some... caveats? Complications? Sprinkles of realism? I like to imagine some extraneous silly little plot points surrounding this.

Gonna mention 'nads & stuff in purple, so skip past it if you're squeamish about people having body parts or whatever.

When Vee took on Luz's form, she didn't really know what was going on under all those clothes, so she improvised, and kept things as close to her basilisk form as possible. It was partly to conserve magic during the shift, and partly just because she couldn't imagine what to put there. This meant she had a dick, and probably a pretty funny-looking one, too, until she came across a human health textbook and got a better picture of what that whole situation is supposed to look like.

Eventually, during an accident with someone in the Cabin 7 crew (probably standard "woops, didnt realize you were changing in here" shenanigans), someone catches her with her pants down, and she accidentally makes them think Luz is trans. A silly little mixup, definitely no consequences in the future, for sure.

After this, Vee ends up learning about pride flags and their meanings, and starts collecting those things like trading cards. She is staggeringly queer. I tend to think of her as bi/pan/demi-rose, genderqueer, genderfluid (usually on a sliding scale between fem and neutral, but outside that range often enough to be noteworthy), and polyam (in theory, anyways, but even by the epilogue she's still only had one partner, Masha. Granted, she's only maybe 18 by then, so she's got a LOT of time left to try things out), but because that's So Many Labels, she tends to simplify down to Queer. Am I projecting? Yeah, a little. Maybe a lot. So what?

Anyways, when Luz comes back and Vee picks out her own human form, she mostly performs a 1-1 translation from her basilisk form to her human form (matching her standing height, size, approximate face shape, etc), and in so doing, takes on a few typically-masculine characteristics (like a mostly-flat, somewhat-wide chest, bodyfat mostly at her belly, and of course, a (normal, human) dick (most of the time, anyways; she is a shapeshifter, and can do whatever she wants forever)), resulting in her rather androgynous appearance. If her human form is gonna be her, it's gonna reflect her truth: she wasn't always a girl, but she is now. In the epilogue, her human form looks a bit more feminine/less androgynous than before (most notably with wider hips), as if she'd been on HRT for long enough to see some changes.

Now, I've also got all manner of general Basilisk Biology Headcanons, such as how shapeshifting works (magic is used to perform transformations, and reverting to their natural form doesn't use any; holding a transformation only burns calories, not magic; transformations are holistic, inside-and-out, with the two exceptions being the brain and whatever organ stores collected magic), how magical hunger works (it doesn't quite exist, they're not vampires, eating/draining magic is just a thing they Can do in order to transform, not a thing they Have to do to live; however, when a basilisk is hungry, it begins burning through its magic to stave off malnutrition, causing them to seek out magically dense food (really just magic in general, kinda maladaptive like humans' sugar cravings)), how mass distribution works when they transform (they retain their weight when they take on new forms, which limits their transformed size by how far they can compress/decompress their mass. this is part of why the Inspector was so hungry; they were near the limits of how far they could compress, and burning through calories like crazy to stay that way), their natural habitat (fins on their tails suggest they're at least semi-aquatic, but the fact that they stayed on the Boiling Isles as they fled from Belos suggests that they're not immune to (and thus not native to) the Boiling Sea, therefore I propose that they were native to lakes, the only bodies of water shown not to be boiling all the time. also they use their shapeshifting to change their bouyancy as they dive for mollusks or whatever), reproduction (internal fertilization, followed by egg laying; they can change their physical sex pretty much at will, because they're shapeshifters, but if it's not their "natural" form, it still consumes magic to get into that form and burns extra calories to hold the form; fertilization and pregnancy tends to go quite poorly if a basilisk changes/reverts to a form that doesn't have the proper equipment for whatever child they're currently bearing), and so on (basilisk eyes are adapted for underwater, leaving them relatively nearsighted unless transformed to be otherwise, and they have a short-term photographic memory to make assembling accurate disguises on the fly easier/possible), but I don't really feel the need to go tooooo into detail with all that >.>

12. What do you consider the most memorable scene? Why?

That's a very tough choice, between the graveyard fight in Thanks to Them (Very intense. Very beautiful, very powerful) and the Lumity dance in Enchanting Grom Fright (Very romantic. Very beautiful, very powerful). They both basically defined the fandom brainrot after their respective releases, and unlike the various season finales, there was little else cutting in to interrupt and distract from them. Just tasty, tasty action, one at the breathtaking height of fluff, and the other in the soul-crushing depths of angst.

A close third, to whichever one of those is only second-best, would be the duel for the portal key in Eclipse Lake (Very dramatic. Very beautiful, very powerful). Another big action scene, who'd'a thunk it, and another angsty one, too.

[minuy600]

The Ported Arcade Games of 1981 #0: 1980 Games I Missed

Back to the grind it is. Firstly, let's go over some stuff that has happened in these 4 months of complacency.

First things first; I've changed the format for these reviews again. There'll still be a 40 point scale of rating things, because I enjoy being consistent, however everything around it will be changed to something more... manageable for me. You'll see, I don't think there's a point in a lengthy explanation.

Secondly, I feel baaaad for the games I have to skip because it's multiplayer-only, or didn't get an accurate port in a game I have the means of owning. So i'll give 'em a mention, even if I won't go into detail about them, let alone grade them. Cool? Cool. Let's get this started then. Here's a game that actually got added to Arcade Archives during my LEGO-riddled hiatus...

Tank Battalion

Other name(s): タンクバタリアン (JP name) Developer: Namco Publisher: Namco (JP), GamePlan (US) Release date: October 1980 (JP) What did I play it on?: Arcade Archives on Switch What's the game about?: You're a tank fighting off other tanks by shooting bullets at each other. There's 20 of those per stage, and they alternate between hunting you down or your base (oddly shaped like an eagle). If you get hit too many times or your base gets destroyed, that's game over. What's the game look like?:

What's the sound like?: Rumblings of your tank, booming noises when you shoot and explode tanks. The occasional beep happens when you put in credit or gain an extra life. What's new about this one?: Most notably, any shot that hits a brick wall will break it bit by bit. Allows for a bit more strategy as you could carve out a shortcut. These walls are absent in every 3rd stage, though, so strategy flies out the window there for the most part. How much singleplayer content is there?: There's no real limit to how long you could keep playing, but aside from, oddly, the 22nd stage, there are no new layouts after the 8th. How far did I get?: I got to the 6th stage and felt verrrry satisfied to leave it there. I kinda feel that with enough luck, I could improve to the 8th eventually. That's my definitive goal, reaching stage 22 is nigh on impossible. Any multiplayer?: Errr, does alternating turns count? Quick thoughts: This feels almost laughably out of place when put alongside Namco's other 1980 contributions from the latter half of 1980. Still uses the Warp & Warp engine and it shows. Minor stage altering aside, which IS neat, this is another game where you feel like it left zero footprint. Graphics: Yyyyyeah. Even with the flat colors and basic as hell title screen, the game still appears to struggle to run with the admittedly fair amount of tanks on screen. I would've forgiven it a year ago, but now? Not when Pac-Man and Rally-X are around, sorry. (4/10) Sound: Another sign that this is a polished up geriatric, these noises are very close to the ones i've heard in Navarone and Cutie Q. I will admit though! I actually think the explosions are nice and impactful. Then again, most games of this era had that down pat. Could do without the beeps, but overall it's still decent. (6/10) Fun Factor: Unfortunately, the whole 'game struggling to run' thing makes this a hard game to salvage. It makes the controls way too... chunky, with the tanks moving in blocks rather than being smooth. The whole luck factor is also quite stupid, the tanks seem to do whatever they want in this one, even if WHERE they show up is consistent. It's a shame cuz I do feel there was potential to make it more manageable and consistently enjoyable... At least Battle City exists. (4/10) Longevity: It says a lot I managed 12th plays on the Hi Score ranking by only reaching stage 6. If your idea of fun is playing through 12 identical levels to get a single new layout, do I have the game for you. Still, getting to stage number 8 in itself is a big feat and despite how unfair it can be, it's still reasonably addicting. (6/10)

Conclusion: It's a cute attempt to innovate with outdated hardware. I don't think they succeeded due to how it plays like a creaky war veteran. Namco's talent made it not awful, but they've done a lot better before.

Onto a game that pretty much made me debate if it was even worth playing stuff outside of Arcade Archives...

Defender

Other name(s): ディフェンダー (JP name) Developer: Williams Electronics Publisher: Williams Electronics (EU/US), Taito (JP) Release date: December 1980 (EU, presumably) What did I play it on?: Midway Arcade Origins on Xbox 360 (played on Series S)

What's the game about?: You're a spaceship trying to avoid aliens from taking over the planet. They come in all shapes and sizes, first there's just some green alien dudes (called 'Landers') trying to snatch the 10 humans away by turning them into far more agressive mutants. Following that, you also get electric... squares that leave behind hurtful static and electric... pulses that turn into multiple small red particles. Gotta shoot those as well. Failing to protect the humans causes the planet to be destroyed and you're left fighting mutants in space. Yikes. At least you got an Asteroids-esque hyperspace button and screen-clearing smart bombs to delay the inevitable. What's the game look like?:

What's the sound like?: All kinds of weird alien bleep bloops dominate as you shoot your Atari 2600 laser. The humans that cry for help sound like squealing rubber. What's new about this one?: This game more or less created the horizontally scrolling shooter genre. The whole mutant thing is also brand new, and I don't think i've seen screen-clearing weapons used to this degree before. Same with the degree of variety in enemy patterns and how cleverly they've been interwoven as they've been given different 'tasks' of sorts. The lander chases the humans, the rest chase YOU. Also, uhhh... this is the first video game by Williams Electronics? Damn, that's one way to start. How much singleplayer content is there?: This took me ages to figure out cuz Midway Arcade Origins put me on the wrong foot, but it APPEARS that the difficulty peaks at stage 5. You don't get increased score multipliers after that, so... How far did I get?: I did get to that point when I gave myself 9 lives and 9 smart bombs, though that's hardly an achievement in my eyes. On the default setting (3 lives & smart bombs), I got to the third stage, which is a decent feat in itself as it propelled me up the online rankings. This game is brutal. Any multiplayer?: Alternating turns, again. Gonna be a bit before co-op becomes much more mainstream. Quick thoughts: Say hello to the game that brutalised my motivation to keep going. A very vague release date (i'm still not sure if I did it right), it's extreme difficulty and my own doubts on whether to cover games rereleased on Xbox made it the ideal cocktail for my ADHD brain to pretty much give up for a while. Upon revisiting though... Eh, although I don't think it'll ever be my favorite, I can appreciate it's huge influence on the shooter genre. Plus, if reaching the 3rd flipping stage is a serious achievement from what I can tell, I don't feel nearly as bad about my supposedly low skill level. This is another game i'll give a hat tilt. Graphics: Probably, PROBABLY the best looking space shooter thus far. I don't know for sure. But I mean, horizontal scrolling as smooth as this along with all the massive explosions that happen when things die, that's extremely impressive. Definitely makes it feel fairly modern, futuristic even. I'm surprised it is as much as a leap upwards as it is. Only Rally-X really comes close with being as advanced as this sucker. (9/10) Sound: Can get a bit overwhelming at times, all the shooting combined with the weird otherworldly noises, it's a bit much. Though nobody can deny that they sound COOL as hell on first impression. Very sci-fi. I'll let the incorporation of some 2600 noises pass. (7/10) Fun Factor: Depends on what you wanna get out of it. If you like games that will absolutely kick your ass with the smallest error and makes you feel extra guilty with every astronaut lost, this is a gaming HEAVEN for late 1980. I can't say i'm part of that crowd, but the more time I put into it, the less gruelling it becomes. There's only 2 things reeeally bothering me. You frequently have to be too precise with your movement to stick a shot or just straight up not die for one. The amount of buttons and therefore tactics on display, that's also a bit too much. Found myself frequently overwhelmed by this one, i'm sorry. If you're a gaming nut who doesn't mind an overload of spectacle and can deal with extra precise movements, then you can add two points to the score next to this sentence. (6/10) Longevity: Someone played one round of this game for 21 and a half hours straight. Huh. Reaching stage 6 will take you a WHILE, but at least it's a bit more based around skill rather than luck this time. There's people that only leave one astronaut alive or straight up lets them all die and focus on the shooting action, and manage to survive for a long while despite that. Seems like I may have to try that too... Also glitches. Lotsa glitches to extend playtime. Those are always a hoot. (8/10)

Conclusion in 3 sentences: My love-hate senses are tingling with this one. It's not a game for the faint of heart, but if you put your mind to it and grind it out, it can be a magical experience. Especially for the time.

The games that couldn't:

All of these are included on one of the Taito Legends games on PS2. The first game is outta reach entirely, while the second one is doable, just a bit too expensive to be worthwhile right now. I MIGHT come back to the balloon duology later. Don't count on it though.

Phoenix (Taito): Shame I couldn't give this one a go. This was THE game to bring boss battles into the mainstream. Was curious to see how well it'd fare compared to the seemingly very intricate way Sasuke vs. Commander did it. From first impression, it seems a bit less deep, though on it's own, it's still a fun spin on the ol' Space Invader formula.

Balloon Bomber (Taito): A hilariously out-of-tune jingle plays as you shoot single-colored balloons with bombs attached to them. ...Wait, did Pyoro on WarioWare copy the concept of destructible land from this game? Whaaaa?

Crazy Balloon (Taito): The balloon of Balloon Bomber fame must now traverse dangerous obstacle courses by floating around. Crrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaazy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If there's any feedback you wanna give on this new format, be sure to let me know! We'll be heading into 1981 next time. For realsies.

[cizzle-freezy]

If your OC story had it's own fandom etc which of your characters do you think would be the most popular and why? And who would be the least popular?

Given what I've noticed from friends both new and old: Out of the RP cast, it's definitely my deities that are most popular, especially Gelum. I've tried for years to also shift focus to other OCs but it doesn't seem to stick and my personal hyperfocuses on story arcs do NOT help. XD

Though in the past, Ten and Crystal used to be pretty popular among friends. I can see them being focused on too.

As for least, out of the RP cast... Absolutely no clue?? I mean, I personally find Nick/Alexander unappealing but mostly because after his initial arc I found using him boring (i know i never mentioned him before, but that's because I genuinely struggle to use him). Going off of vibes I also feel like some people might not like Cymek but he's part of a rp story that's also been neglected a bit? Maybe Ryvin because ideally I wanted to write him as a Villain Who Is Just An Irredeemable Villain And A Terrible Father. WAIT SHIT, as I type this, I remember Kori! The one Deity of mine that my friends very visibly wanna deck in the face (affectionate)!

Breathing Color specifically? I feel like it might be either Alex for the Anti-Hero Angst, or Violet because she is smol sweet bean with some trauma. I've had some people gravitate towards Derrick too.

I feel like not many would like Heather early on. She DOES start out as the generic mean girl but at least gets better, but not sure if I should count her because she's early arc and not really reoccurring. Tho I think the Early Arc Characters do have a lot of room for headcanoning so idk?? I do also think Alex could theoretically fall under this category depending on how I write him. He was originally kinda creepy but that whole thing is complicated-- Do not get me wrong, I just think it could be executed better.

I do want to give special mention to @loz-the-alternate-relic, aka the comic I help w/ @hikaririnku-blog, @juan-o-clocks, Kobi (who doesn't have tumblr), @jessebizarreart, and Skai_Blu (also no tumblr). It is a fan comic, and there's only so much that's been currently revealed, but Layla def thus far is like, the one I'd think would be pretty popular. But I cannot reveal who I think would be unpopular.... okay I admit this project might be too ambitious for our own good at times lol

I'll admit, it's kinda hard to think of who'd be least popular because I do love most OCs pretty strongly. I can think of many reasons why someone would or wouldn't like an OC??

[emlee81]

Empire Records-Lucas X Reader-It's Always Been You.

***

Warning some minor swearing and hint of innuendo. Mostly just fluff and fun.

****

You can't remember a time when you didn't have a crush on Lucas, one of your co-workers at Empire Records. Sure, you really liked everyone else who worked there but Lucas was always the one.

Not only was he super cool, but he was sweet and kind and always made you laugh and feel good about yourself.

However you weren't sure what Lucas' feelings towards you were. You were dying to ask, yet at the same time, you were scared to know what he was really thinking.

"Y/N?" You turn. Joe, your boss was asking you something.

"Yeah?"

"Could you put these new cd's out, please?" Joe asks. You nod, grabbing the cardboard box and head out front. Immediately you spot...Lucas, wandering around, looking around to see if anyone needs any help.

You carry the box over, setting it gently on the ground and struggle to regain your composure. As you pull up the flaps of the box, you see someone walking over to you. You glance up.

"Hey, Y/N."

Lucas.

You straighten up, gazing into his beautiful brown eyes and your insides quiver. Damn. He's so sexy. Lucas smirks and it takes everything you have just to stay upright.

"Hey." You lean over, reaching inside the box and pulling out several cds and begin to arrange them. Lucas looks down at the floor for several seconds before stepping a little closer to you.

"Need any help?" Lucas asks, his tone soft. You nod. Lucas leans over, grabbing some of the cds as well. You work in silence for several minutes.

"I was wondering.." Lucas begins, but abruptly stops, clearing his throat before starting again.

"Would you like to, maybe, catch a movie with me this weekend?" You nod.

"I'd love to, Lucas." He grins, looking more relaxed and like himself.

"Cool. I'll let you know by the end of our shift what time." You smile.

"Perfect."

***

You meet Lucas at the movie theater and he looks amazing. (But he always does.) He smiles when he sees you, looking a little shy and awkward.

"Hey," you say. "You look fantastic." Lucas' cheeks color slightly.

"Thanks. So do you."

"Thanks. Should we go in?" You ask. Lucas nods and surprises you by taking ahold of your hand. You can't keep the smile off your face as you walk inside.

***

You're having an amazing time. Lucas is so sweet and keeps asking you if you're having a good time. You nod. You could be a wallpapering the storeroom and you'd be having a good time, as long as Lucas was with you.

When the movie ends, Lucas takes you on a ride on his motorcycle and you end up downtown at the Café, enjoying some milkshakes and just talking.

"I can't believe that this is really happening," you admit to Lucas.

"Why?" He asks. You reach for his hand, just holding it.

"Because, I've had a huge crush on you forever, that's why." Lucas frowns somewhat and you worry that you said the wrong thing.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No. It's just, kinda..funny," Lucas replies.

"What do you mean?"

"Well. I've had a crush on you forever, too," Lucas says. You just stare at him.

"Really?"

"I think you're wonderful, Y/N," Lucas adds softly. You laugh, leaning towards him and gently kissing him. Lucas smiles.

"I think you're pretty damn wonderful yourself, Lucas," you whisper. Lucas grins.

"I, uh, well...,I mean, if you'd ever like to y'know.." Lucas is really blushing now.

"I'd like to, Lucas," you say. "Just not right away." Lucas nods.

"Of course." He kisses you again, though and you absolutely love that. You laugh again, grabbing Lucas' hand again.

"Yeah." Lucas is blushing. You give his hand a gentle squeeze before letting go.

"This is the best night of my life," you tell Lucas and he chuckles.

"You know what?" Lucas says. "Mine too."

[thepaintedlady00]

Nightshade

Chapter 1: The Tigers Stripes

OC Intro | Chapter 2

Hi! So sorry for the extra long wait for literally everything. 😂 I was getting back on track after the holiday and then immediately got sick so I’ve been struggling to edit and whatnot. But, I’ve been feeling better so hopefully I’ll be able to hop back into the swing of things. Thank you all for your patience and I hope you enjoy the first chapter! 🥰

Aldo credit for restaurant name used goes to @anastacia-lynn. They've got their own Sweetbitter fic that is amazing so far, so go check it out! ❤

TW: Mentions of cancer treatments & hospitalization, language, drinking, vague mentions of drugs.

This city was the most beautiful when it was bathed in rain. Something about seeing the lights distorted by the heavy drops of liquid, the colors reflecting in the puddles and pools that formed on the pavement, just made New York seem so ethereal. I’d lived here most of my life, moved around a few times when I was younger but I always seemed to end up back in the city. It was hardly perfect, always loud and busy with that big city smell, but it was home. Though it’d been difficult to get by most of the time, the opportunities the city had to offer kept me and my brother rooted here, for the time being at least.

“How’s the weather today?” A weak voice asked from behind me. The faint beeping of the machines pulled me back to the small, sterile room. Through the hospital window the city looked smaller, much less like the ethereal place I’d been imagining in my daydream and more like a cage of buildings and strangers and noise.

“Rainy,” I answered, turning around to offer the man in the hospital bed a smile. Half conscious and buried under a pile of thin white hospital blankets my brother smiled back at me.

Peter shook his head and chuckled. "That'll be fun for you to get home in."

Rolling my eyes I sat down in the chair beside him. "I'm sure I'll manage."

"You've been through worse," he agreed, looking back at the older TV, hospitals didn't exactly have the best options when it came to entertainment, but I supposed we were lucky to have a room with a TV at all. 

Time moved so sporadically it was odd to think of just how long we’d been in this place… staring at the same old TVs, but coming across old episodes of Pete's favorite renovation shows always managed to remind me. It had been four years since our dad died. Three since I dropped out of college and come home. Two since Peter was diagnosed with leukemia and one since he'd started being in the hospital more than out of it. Life hadn't been easy, even with the modest savings both of us had and our dad's half of a fairly well off bar. Peter and I never admitted it, but losing Dad was a tipping point of bad. Ever since it happened we both were just thrown to the chaos of life, chaos this city thrived in, and told we could either sink or swim. Lately we’d been sinking, but that was all about to change.

I held the small card in my hands, running the edge of my finger over the slight indentations of the writing in black pen. 22West was one of the most upscale restaurants in this city. It was a place I was well familiar with and so it was rather easy getting an interview with the manager.

Howard smiled widely as he greeted me at the door with a firm handshake. “Lena. It’s good to see you! Right this way, we’ll be speaking in my office.”

Most other potential employees would have been interviewed in the main area, but I wasn’t exactly like most people applying for a job here so Howard happily led me past the bar and towards his office. I could feel peoples eyes on me as they continued setting up for the long night of service and was thankful when the office door closed behind us.

“The place looks great, Howard.”

“Thank you,” he said as he sat down. “I have to say, I was surprised you called and more surprised when you asked me for a job.”

I shrugged. “It’s been a while since I had a steady job and I kinda need the money right now.”

Howard’s kind smile faded as he fussed with his pocket square, clearly anxious about bringing up this next part. “I heard about your brother's condition, I’m sorry you’re both going through so much.”

“Where did you hear about him?” I asked, only to receive a pointed look. With a scoff I nodded. “I should have guessed.”

“But, a job. I’m afraid I don’t have any server positions open currently.”

“I’ll take anything Howard. Fuck, I’ll even do dish.”

He laughed and shook his head. “I think we can do a bit better than that. You have the skill for any of our positions, why don’t we just play the field a bit?”

“Play the field?” I asked with a laugh. “When did you start getting into sports talk?”

“It’s a recent development, one I am finding I’m not very good at.”

“So, you want me to just find what needs done and jump in?”

Howard nodded. “Yes. You’ll mostly be back in the kitchen, but if there’s an opening up front I’ll be the first to offer it to you.”

“I think I can handle that. When do I start?”

That had been a week ago and now tonight was the night, the beginning of the real test. "What time do you need to go?"

I looked up at my brother's pale face, his tired eyes moving from the TV to look over at me. "Not for another hour."

"You should head home. You know, shower and and fix your hair, all that fun shit."

"And leave you here all by your lonesome?" I asked rubbing the rainbow beanie covering his patchy head. "Never."

"Lena," he sighed with a smile. "Go. I'll be fine on my own for a night."

"Seriously, Pete, I'm good."

"You're freaking out." He stated. I hid many things well, but never from him. "This is a lot, everything considered… You want this, Me, you've wanted this for years before all this shit."

He wasn't wrong. He hardly ever was. Finally I looked at him and nodded. "Fine, but call me if you need me. Please?"

He ruffled my hair. "Promise. Now get out of here. And tell Isaac I said hi!"

I pressed a quick kiss to his head and hopped out of the chair, grabbing my coat and bag before making my way to the nurses station. Lisa, one of the regular nurses on my brother's rotation, smiled at me. "Finally taking a breather?"

"Got work to get to now." I gestured to his room. "If anything happens, call me?"

"Of course," she assured me with a light squeeze of my hand. "Now relax Lena, and have a good night!"

I laughed as I started off toward the elevator. "I doubt it'll be any worse than usual."

Rain slid down the windows of the cab as we slowly made our way through New York traffic to my apartment building. It was sort of an in between place at this point. I rarely stayed there longer than a night or two when Peter was in the hospital and even when he was out I usually stayed at his place, just in case he needed me. I paid the cabbie and ran up the steps, trying not to get drenched in rain. I waved to the landlord as I passed by and quickly unlocked my door, wincing at the loud creaking noise it made when it opened. The pungent smell of dust and vague cleaning materials filled my nose instantly, making my head swirl with the suddenness of it. I tossed my bag onto the couch and hung my leather jacket carefully off the back of it, my fingers tracing the worn stitched on letters as I moved to my bedroom and quickly stripped to shower.

The hot water took a minute to kick in, but once I stood beneath the blistering spray of it my tense muscles finally began to loosen. Sleeping on hospital pull outs or in their old chairs was never comfortable, and my body certainly felt it. I tried not to think about the worst case scenario that tonight could turn into as I dried my hair and rummaged through my clothes for the appropriate attire that the high scale restaurant demanded. Not thinking something was difficult when you were about to walk face first into it, wearing clothes that fit too well and left no room to hide among the fine fabrics.

I didn't look like me, I decided when I looked into the mirror to pull my hair back. I looked like someone else… Someone that I might have been a long time ago but now… I shook my head and took a deep breath. There’s no time to turn back now. I reminded myself. Wrapping my leather jacket around my shoulders, breathing in the faint cologne and musk of alcohol and smoke, I let the nervous doubt fade. Peter was right, I wanted this… I'd studied and worked for something similar once. It was time to sink or swim, and I sure as hell wasn't going to sink now.

*

Jake hated the rain. He hated the way it smelt, hated how it lingered on every sidewalk and street, hated how it soaked through his clothes making him feel even more smothered than he normally did. He rode his bike quickly through the alleyway and nodded to his coworkers as they all huddled near the door smoking. Scott smirked at him and tilted his head to gesture to his pants. “Not the best weather for riding.”

“No shit,” he replied, grumpily as he swung the bike over his shoulder and shoved his way past them into the kitchen. Prep was in full swing, white coats weaving around him and yelling profanities and complaints as he passed by. Normally he’d slow down, take his time to really piss the cooks off with his big bike and sarcastic attitude, but he wasn’t in the mood for it today. Instead he walked up the stairs quietly and plopped his bike into the spot he always did, stripping in the back room and throwing his locker door open.

Light footsteps echoed behind him as he tossed his wet clothes inside and grabbed his work attire. The steps stopped beside the door and a soft sigh, one he knew far too well, filled the room. “You’re early today.”

Jake gave her a quick glance. Simone was ready for work, of course she was, her blonde hair tucked neatly into the ponytail and her clothes pristine, not a wrinkle in sight. It was her stiff face that made him roll his eyes and return his attention to his task. “You’re the one always on my ass for being late.”

“I’m just making an observation, Jake,” she replied, voice soft but he could pick up on the scolding in her tone.

“Well fuck off and go observe someone else.”

Simone set a hand onto his shoulder, the action one that should have made him melt… that had always made him before, but today made his body stiffen. “I’m worried about you. Ever since… You’ve been acting differently.”

The knot that had settled into Jake's stomach tightened as he shook her hand off. “I’m fine.”

Her silence was cold, bringing an uncomfortable shiver up his spine. "Is this about Tess?"

At the mention of her name Jake felt a rush of emotions fill him. Frustration, regret, anger. He looked at Simone and laughed. "Jesus, not everything is about that."

"Jake-"

“I said I’m fine.” He snapped. The silence was deafening for a moment before he sighed. “I’m fine, Simone.”

She nodded, a sadness filling her eyes that made him open his mouth to apologize, but she spoke first. “I know that things have been strained between us since she… Left, and I know you’re probably angry with me for my part in it." She shook her head, clearly frustrated. "I’m just looking out for you, like I always have and always will.”

“I’m not angry with you. She went behind both our backs and tried to get you fired. What happened it's on her. I'm just…” If he were to tell the truth Jake didn’t know what he was anymore. It had been simple before, all of it. He would work this uptight job, he’d keep his coworkers at arms length, he’d be with Simone if she that was what she wanted and if not he’d find some stranger to pass the time with, he’d get fucked up and go home and then do it all over again. It had been enough for him before and then something had happened. Something had changed. He sighed and buttoned up his shirt. “I’m just tired.”

Simone merely watched him for a moment before she, wordlessly, helped him with his tie. She smiled at him and stroked her hand across his cheek. “You can always talk to me. You know that right?”

“Of course I do.” He answered, leaning into her touch, hoping to feel the comfort and calm it usually brought him.

Jake watched her walk away, the knot growing as she vanished from sight. He felt nothing. No matter how much he drank or smoked, no matter how much attention Simone or anyone else gave him it never changed. He was numb. Numb to the city that once entertained him, numb to the things he once took some small measure of pleasure in and most of all numb to the reality of what it meant. He slammed his locker shut and ran his hands through his hair with a sigh. Pull yourself together. 

Nicky greeted him as he slid behind the bar and grabbed a rack of glasses to clean. “Ready for a long night?”

He shrugged, putting on his normal unbothered uninterested front. “Always am."

“Well, if the gossip floating around today is true it's going to be real interesting.”

“Howard got more bullshit up his sleeve?” He questioned with a huff.

“Don’t know how much of it will turn out as bullshit, but we’re getting a new friend today.”

Jake’s hands paused in their movements as he glanced up at Nicky with a raised brow and a smirk. “New friend? He actually hired someone then?”

Nicky nodded. “Remember that girl from last week?”

"The one he took to his office?"

"Yeah. He said she was more than qualified."

He hummed quietly as the quick glance he’d gotten of her replayed in his mind. He hadn't really had a chance to get a good look at her, but those that did, Sasha mostly, raved about how she looked like fun. “She must've been real impressive for him to hire her on the spot,” Jake joked. “What time does she get in?”

Nicky looked at his watch. “Any minute now.”

“This’ll be fun,” he replied, with a grin. Maybe that was all he needed to get rid of whatever his fucking problem was, something fresh and fun to toy around with. The kitchen doors opened and a flash of red filled his vision as the unfamiliar figure slid out into the open, pausing by the bar to look around. She was short, wearing professional looking attire, but the way she held herself was different… interesting. Her head turned and their eyes locked. 

Most people would have looked nervous, scared even, on their first day in such a prestigious place, but not her. There was no hint of fear in her glimmering green eyes, nothing at all save for a mild annoyance he assumed was directed at him. She looked bored. Jake’s smirk widened as he watched her turn away from them and walk toward the noise of the rowdy family meal. This was exactly what he needed.

*

Isaac leaned up against the wall in the half covered alley, making light conversation with a few of his coworkers, as I approached. He looked away from them and smiled widely, opening his arms and practically swallowing me in them. “Lena! Took you long enough! I’ve been waiting forever.”

“Sorry,” I answered. “Had to dig these shitty clothes out of my closet.”

He chuckled, dark curls of hair twisting out from beneath his bandana. “Well you look fantastic!”

I gave him a look and rolled my eyes. “I look like a washed up pianist or something.”

Isaac bit his bottom lip to hold back his loud chuckle. “I think you look more like an unsuccessful magician but maybe that's just me."

“Shut up.” I swatted his shoulder and followed him inside, forcing my breath to remain deep and even as the familiar excited chaos of the kitchen raged around me.

It had been years since I’d heard the clamoring of voices and the sharpness of the knives and felt the heat of the industrial ovens and stovetops in full swing. I’d missed it far more than I thought. Isaac led me to the back room and knocked on one of the lockers with a smile. “This one's yours.”

Examining the empty space I tossed my bag inside and carefully shrugged off my jacket, hanging it up. “Where’s my shirt?”

“Howard has it.” I raised my brow at him, earning a quick shrug. “Don’t ask me why, I never know what he’s got going on in his head.”

“Great,” I muttered, closing the locker and turning on my heel, running into a solid body. Every inch of me tensed at the feel of an unfamiliar hand grabbing my arm.

“Careful,” the man said, steadying me. I looked at him, perhaps a bit too coldly, noting his neat brown hair and his wide dark eyes as he held his hands up innocently and gestured to the locker beside mine. “Sorry, I was just trying to squeeze behind you.”

I forced out a hot breath and shook my head. “It’s fine, you just startled me.”

He held his hand out to me with a smile. “I’m Will.”

“Lena.” I replied, shaking his hand firmly. “You Howards manager trainee?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“I’ve been trained to identify management,” I replied with a modest shrug.

He chuckled and nodded to Isaac. “She your trail?”

The burly man laughed loudly and shook his head. “Nope.”

Will's eyebrows scrunched together as he looked back at me with a tilt of his head. “Wait, you're not trailing anyone?”

“No, at least I don’t believe I am.”

He scratched the back of his neck. “Okay, well I… uh… I guess I can show you around, help you learn the ropes?”

I offered him a pat on the arm. “I’m good, but thank you for the offer. Do you know where Howard is?”

“He’s, uh, downstairs overseeing the family meal.”

“Thanks Will,” I said, sliding past him. “I look forward to working with you.”

I made my way through the kitchen and out the doors leading into the lobby. Everything looked so elegant and at the same time so boring. Nothing had changed about the posh space, not the tablecloths or the chairs or the glassware. It was all frozen in time, everything but the flowers. My eyes settled onto them for a moment, taking note of the tiny speck of new before I turned my head toward the bar, or more specifically the pair of blue eyes burning into me from behind it.

The man was tall, lean with messy dark hair and a cocky grin. He was attractive and he obviously knew it judging by the way his eyes unflinchingly took me in. I should have expected at least one cocky bartender, I thought to myself as I turned away from him and followed the noise deeper into the lobby. A long table was surrounded by the staff, all of them chattering over their plates of food telling jokes and bitching about how tonight was going to go. Everyone was too preoccupied to notice me, everyone but one woman.

Her eyes watched me closely, the plainness of her face revealing nothing outwardly while also telling me everything I needed to know about her. She would be a problem. Her blonde hair shifted as she tilted her head to the side, observant eyes trying to gather as much information on me as they could. She made herself look occupied by swirling the glass of her wine, looking at the liquid for a moment before looking back up at me with a soft smile. Soft and kindly as she appeared I knew better than to fall into such an obvious trap.

"Oooh, what's this?" A thickly accented voice cooed, pulling my attention away from the scrutinizing gaze of the blonde woman. The man was tall, bald with a long face and wide grin, two women moving to stand beside him, studying me with a similar look. "A baby tiger looking to earn her stripes?"

"This one already has stripes," Howard stated, moving toward the group quickly and handing me a neatly packed shirt. The group murmured among themselves, eyes darting between me and each other as Howard pulled a chair out for me and told them to take their seats.

The bartenders wandered back and took seats at the table where plates had already been made for them. The dark haired man sat beside the blonde woman and they shared a few hushed whispers before his blue eyes settled onto me and that shit eating grin returned. I rolled my eyes and focused on Howard as he began the quaint little meeting. A cocky bartender and a competitive shrew. Fucking great.

“It's good to see so many of you looking prepared for another night of excellent service." Howard regarded the group with a sarcastic look as he folded his hands behind his back.

"Is tonight not some kind of special occasion?" The light voice echoed from the blonde woman as she took a gentle inhale of the wine before taking a modest sip with a smile. "I highly doubt you'd bring out such an extravagant bottle for nothing."

"Excellent observation, Simone. It's a welcoming gift from the owner." Shit. Howard smiled down at me and poured me a glass of the rich crimson liquid. "As you are no doubt aware, we have a new member to the family. I trust we'll all be putting our best foot forward to show Ms. Harrow how things are around here."

I smiled politely, quickly examining the wine before taking a drink. "Thank you, Howard. I trust you’ll pass along my thanks to the owner as well for such a gracious welcome."

The woman, Simone, hummed quietly. "A bottle of 2002 Château Lafite Rothschild is quite a gift. I don't think I remember anyone else getting something so… Generous."

Yep. She was definitely going to be a problem. "2000 Château Lafite Rothschild. The 2002 is more acidic than this, fruity but a hair bitter. The temperature of the season resulted in riper grapes and thus the richness of this particular vintage."

"You know your wine," she said with a smile.

"I know enough," I replied with a modest smile. "There's always more to learn."

Howard cleared his throat and resumed control of the gathering, but Simone never took her eyes off me, not even when her companion turned to whisper something to her. I didn't let it bother me, not when I had bigger fish to fry. If the owner knew I was here, then there was a higher chance this whole thing could lead to far more horrifying individuals learning about my newfound job. It wouldn't come to that though, not if she kept her lips sealed, which she would… She'd give me that much respect.

After he’d finished his speech Howard set a hand on my shoulder and I could feel Simone’s eyes drinking the action in. “You’ll be in the kitchen tonight.”

“What does your chef think of that?” I asked cautiously, the last thing I wanted was to piss off the kitchen.

“He’s not exactly… excited, but I’m certain he’ll come around once he sees you in action.”

“That’s a risky play.” I smiled to myself. “It’s a good thing I’m so pleasant to be around.”

Howard only smiled as he turned to attend to his duties before opening, leaving me sitting at the table with the rest of the staff as they all murmured to themselves. I kept my head down, listening to the conversations going on around me before the man from earlier moved from his seat and dropped his dishes in front of me. I looked up at the now smug and smiling face giggling down at me. The Russian slid from his tongue smoothly, naturally, “Wash these, dish bitch.”

I looked back down as his friends piled their dishes on top of his, clearly amused by his antics. With a soft hum I finished the wine in my glass and stood, grabbing the dishes as I did, smiling at the stranger. “Since you asked so nicely.” The crude amusement dropped from his face the second he heard my reply in his native tongue. I gave him a pat on the cheek as I passed. “I’m a bitch with lots of tricks.”

As I walked toward the kitchen I could hear the loud ruckus of shock and awe behind me as the bald man reacted to the little I’d given him. The kitchen doors swung open, revealing Howard speaking to a very angry looking asian man whom I could only assume was the chef. I slid past them and toward the back jumping into washing the dishes I’d been carrying. The young man beside me regarded me with wide eyes as he held his hands out for the pile. “I can wash these.”

There were plenty of dishes already sitting in the sink, a pile that would only grow when everyone else decided to clean up after themselves. “Between the two of us this will go by quickly.” I smiled, diving into the dish pile. “Are you fast?”

“Fast?” He asked, nervously curious as he began tensely working beside me.

��At washing.”

The man chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. “I guess.”

“Want to race?”

He nodded and for a few blissful minutes of nothing but simple dish washing and a low stakes wager I felt a spark, old and long dwindling, pulse to life in my chest. I’d really missed this. Being part of a kitchen wasn't unlike being part of a family, and though I had a family, blood and not, a part of me had been longing for this specific kind of closeness. 

When there were only a few dishes left the man held his wet hand to me. “I’m Santos.”

“Lena,” I replied, stacking my last dish and shaking his hand. “It’s been a pleasure washing dishes with you.”

“Thank you,” he said quietly. “You didn’t have to help, but you did and I…” he smiled. “Just thanks.”

I bumped his shoulder with mine. “We’re a team, aren’t we? Teammates help each other out, even when they don’t have to.”

“So, you gonna be back here often or are you one of the servers?”

Looking back at the still pissed off chef I sighed. “Guess I should go find that out, huh?”

He glanced at the chef and made a face. “Good luck.”

Moving through the bustling kitchen I stood across the table from the chef and smiled. “I’m-”

“I don’t give a shit who you are,” he said, harshly. “Howard is insane if he thinks I’m just going to let you hop on the line and fuck up my shit. Are you even qualified to work in a kitchen?”

“I am,” I assured him, straightening my back. “You can put me on vegetables or something low risk until you think I can handle it but I promise I’m not here to slow down service, Chef.”

The man hummed, watching me closely with narrow eyes before he nodded to an open station. “You start there, but don’t get too comfortable because I’ll be watching. One mistake and you’re out.”

“Yes, Chef.” I moved to take my place, examining the workstation and the knives to make sure they were sharp and ready for the long night of fast paced service ahead. I took a deep breath, anticipation settling into my gut. Time to swim.

*

Jake was paying far more attention to his surroundings than he usually did. On a normal night he’d only really pay attention to the bar and the suckers that sat at it looking to drown their sorrows or be wowed by some flashing handwork and a decent drink. Anything beyond the long counter of bottles and ice was practically dead to him, but tonight was not a normal night, not anymore. Jake watched the kitchen doors, his head turning every time they opened hoping to see that flash of red hair and that bored face, but he never did.

Nicky chuckled at him the fifth time he turned. “She’s in the kitchen tonight.”

“Oh yeah?” Jake asked softly. “She on dish?”

“Line,” Nicky replied, meeting his expression of disbelief with a nod. “Apparently she’s killing it too.”

Jake smiled, serving his drink and moving past Nicky toward the kitchen doors. “This I gotta see. Cover me?”

“You got it.”

This girl was either a great liar or she was more experienced with the environment than he thought. He slid into the kitchen, quietly moving out of the way of servers and a few cooks as he moved to get a view of the redhead. She was chopping vegetables at an intensely quick speed, head down and eyes focused on her task. Scott watched her closely for a minute with a slightly impressed expression as she interacted with the rest of the kitchen with ease. This girl was absolutely in her element here and it only made Jake’s curiosity peak more.

When Scott barked some order at her she began moving toward him, an opportunity finally presenting itself. He let her slide past, keeping his head down as he slid directly behind her forcing her to turn into him when she moved to return to her work. Green eyes burned up at him as she stepped away from his chest with a low, surprised noise. “You should be more careful about where you walk, Lana.”

She responded quietly, “It’s Lena.”

“Right,” he said, taking a step forward, pushing her back into one of the counters as he slid past. “Sorry, it’s a hard name.”

He couldn’t see her face as he moved back toward the bar with some random rag, but he could feel her eyes follow him out the door. For the first time in weeks he felt alive, this Lena would do the trick. He’d have some fun and life would go back to normal. Soon the heat from her eyes faded under a new, colder gaze. Simone watched him from across the lobby, her face set in the expected smile and softness of a server, but her eyes held something Jake couldn’t quite place. Not jealousy, not anger… concern maybe.

*

The night dragged on for hours, and with each passing one Scott, the chef, pushed me harder and harder in an obvious test of my skill and limitations. As the service began to slow he settled in beside me, plating the last dishes with finesse and ease. “It seems I underestimated you.”

“I don’t blame you,” I admitted. “New additions to a well functioning kitchen are always a bit hard to navigate.”

“Where’d you study?”

I shrugged. “A bit of everywhere, I was part of an… extensive program.”

He nodded, the not answer one he thankfully chose to ignore. “Why here? With your skill you could easily find a place with a higher position available.”

“I didn’t finish my schooling,” I said. “Most places hiring for back of house positions want the whole shebang of experience.”

“Why’d you drop out?”

A lump caught in my throat as I sighed. “My dad died.”

Scott paused in his plating to look over at me with a knowing look. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, he lived a good life.” I smiled, fond memories filling my mind for a moment. “But, after he died there was a lot of stuff to work out and I just didn’t have time for both.”

“Well, I don't really know you, so I can’t really say much about your character or work ethics, but you didn't suck tonight.”

I laughed and nodded. “High praise, Chef. You gonna let me stick around then?”

“Eh, why not?” He teased before turning to the rest of the kitchen. “Alright everyone, that’s the last plate. Let’s close it down!”

I cleaned my station quickly, sliding back into place beside Santos and silently washing beside him. Isaac eventually joined us, leaning beside the sink and making light conversation while we worked. “You staying for drinks?”

“Fuck no,” I scoffed looking at him with a raised brow. “The last thing I need tonight is to play twenty questions with people.”

“Oh come on, Lena! Live a little!” Isaac smirked. “Tell her Santos!”

The man beside me shrugged, clearly shy. “I mean they open the bar up. You can get some pretty decent drinks.”

“Decent drinks,” Isaac agreed. “Come on. Please?”

“Not tonight, Isaac.” I wiped the water off my hands.

My friend whined but nodded. “Tomorrow?”

“Maybe.”

“I’m taking that as a yes!”

Santos and I walked to the back room together, changing in relative silence before he cleared his throat and offered his hand to me. “Have a good night, Lena.”

I shook it. “You too, Santos. See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow.”

It was easy to sneak out the back door and grab a cab back to the hospital. Usually they didn’t let people in, but given the particular circumstance the nurses let me pass with smiles. “How’d tonight go?”

Lisa grinned. “I was gonna ask you that. He had a good night, though he’s being an absolute pain about resting.”

“Figures,” I joked.

“How was your first day?”

“Good,” I said simply. “Work is work.”

“Don’t I know it honey.” She gave my shoulder a squeeze as she passed. “Try and get that brother of yours to sleep!”

I smiled. “On it Lis!” The room was dark, save the light from the TV, still playing renovation shows, and the dim lights from the city outside. Peter sat up in his bed, eyes tiredly watching the TV as he repositioned his pillows. I knocked on the wall, alerting him to my presence. “Lisa’s pretty pissed at you for being up.”

Peter smiled. “She’s told me as much.” He patted the bed next to him, scooting over to make room for me. “How was work?”

“It was fine,” I said as I moved to join him in the bed. “The place hasn’t changed at all.”

“Figures. Maddie’s always been a bit set in her ways.”

“She knows I’m working there,” I said quietly.

Peter only nodded. “She is the owner, if anyone was gonna know it’d be her.”

“Yeah, she made a big show of it this morning.”

“Give ya and expensive bottle?”

“Oh yeah.”

He chuckled. “I bet everyone loved that. Did you make any new friends?”

I made a gagging noise. “New friends? Fuck no!”

Peter rolled his eyes and looked at me. “You gotta start being more friendly or you’ll be stuck playing scrabble with me every night.”

“I like scrabble.”

“You know what I mean,” he insisted.

“I've got friends, Pete.” I answered. “Prue and Quin, Isaac and Ozzy and all the others.”

“Work friends, Lena. People you can relate to about your fancy new job.”

“It’s not that fancy.”

Peter flicked my forehead. “Not the point dumbass. Just, try to make friends okay?”

I rubbed the now throbbing spot on my head. “Why are you so adamant about me getting all buddy buddy with people?”

“You’re gonna need connections in a place like 22West. I know it and so do you. It’s not the most cutthroat you’ve dealt with, but it’s still a competitive environment with plenty of people out to assume control.”

My mind flashed to Simone and her mumbling companion. “Point taken. I’ll try to be even more friendly tomorrow.”

“That’s all I ask.” He sighed, finally relaxing into the stiff mattress. “Now, how was your day?”

I smiled. "You were right. I did enjoy it a little bit."

He chuckled. "A little bit? Yeah right! Tell me about it, I'm all ears, little sis."

We only talked for a while longer before Peter dozed off beside me. Lisa poked her head in and gave me a thumbs up. As I lay beside my brother, watching the old episodes of his favorite shows I couldn’t help but smile. It was nice, being back in the swing of a kitchen… nice being reminded that life was more than hospitals and treatments and fear. I snuggled deeper into Peter's side, pulling his blankets up higher and closing my eyes. “Sweet dreams, Pete.”

*

The next day began much like the others. I stayed next to Peter for a while then I went home and freshened up before heading to the restaurant. This time when I entered people greeted me, the cooks were still not totally sold on the newcomer but they recognized me as someone that could at least do the job. Santos gave me a friendly wave as he prepped for a long night of dishes and grime and Scott gave me a nod as I passed by and headed up the stairs to get changed. A post it note was stuck onto my locker with Howards familiar and over the top handwriting telling me to help prep front of house this morning.

I donned the shirt and quickly made my way down to the lobby, ignoring the way everyone still stared at me as I polished glasses and began setting up the salt shakers at the tables, polishing each pair before moving to the next. Soft footsteps moved swiftly behind me and the tall blonde woman, Simone, reached over and grabbed one of the shakers to polish it. The stiff silence sent a chill of anticipation up my spine, but eventually she spoke, “You seem to be quite familiar with the intricacies of this place.”

A classic probe for information, I thought to myself as I remained focused on my task. “I have experience with this line of work.”

“Yes, Howard’s told me as much.” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “What confuses me is why you’re here at all. We aren’t short staffed and truthfully Howard only interviews people for the fun of it. It’s rare that he actually hires someone, even more so that they’re hired on with no trails.”

“If you’re going to ask me what makes me special you’ll be sorely disappointed.” I replied with a soft laugh. “I’m not special at all. I’m just like everyone else that works here.”

Simone shook her head. “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. Howard and the owner have expressed some kind of gratitude for you being here, that means something.”

“I know what it means,” I assured her.

“Then perhaps you could enlighten me?” Her tone was sweet, almost sickly so as she tilted her head at me.

I sighed. “Listen, I understand that my sudden appearance has disturbed the normal day to day of this place. People are bound to have questions, but I am not bound to answer them. I don't know you and honestly I am not exactly feeling inclined to pour my heart out to you and let you in on my deep dark secrets. I’m here to do the job I was hired to do, that’s it.”

She smiled, a gesture that was now clearly tense. “I’m just trying to figure you out.”

“You don’t need to figure me out to do your job.” I replied. “And I don’t need to be coddled to do mine.”

“Alright then,” she said calmly, coldly.

“Thank you for your help,” I said as I took the now empty tray back to the kitchen and set it down on the counter.

The alley was not exactly the most comforting spot to sit in, but I needed a breather and it seemed like the quietest place. Simone wasn’t unique, she was actually incredibly textbook when it came to places like this. She banked on her knowledge and position in the hierarchy of the restaurant to get her what she wanted. What that was would be more unique to her rather than some generalized whole, but given what little I could gather from her in our short conversations she was looking for control. The only question that remained was why. Control for comfort or control for power?

"Tiger!" The bald man from yesterday sang, as he stepped out into the alley with an already lit cigarette, the two women from yesterday following him close behind. "I’ve finally cornered you! Did you think you could just speak Russian at me and disappear?"

“I was hoping.”

“You speak Russian?!” He shook me with a manic giggle.

"Among other languages," I replied in Russian.

His face lit up and he put a hand over his heart. "It feels like I am home again! You sound like my mother!"

I grinned. "A compliment I hope?"

"Absolutely!" he said, waving his cigarette dramatically. "My mother is the best person in the whole world!"

“Still think I’m a bitch?”

“Oh I’m certain you are,” he laughed. “I am Sasha.”

“I'm Lena.”

He shook his head, blowing a puff of smoke out of his pursed lips. “Too plain!” He pointed to me with his middle finger and smiled. “You are Tiger Bitch now.”

I laughed and shrugged. “Beats dish bitch I guess.”

Sasha wrapped an arm around my shoulder and gestured to the two women smoking beside him. “These lovelies are Ari and Heather.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I said, offering up my hand.

The first woman, Heather, shook it with a kind smile. Her tight curls bounced as she shifted on her feet. “You sure know how to make an entrance.”

The second laughed. “I will never forget the look on Simone’s face when you told her to fuck off.”

“She didn’t say that,” Heather said quietly.

“No, but we all knew that's what she wanted to say,” Ari argued. “Simone certainly read between the lines.”

I breathed out a soft sigh. “I’m guessing she’s not going to just let that go and leave me alone now?”

They all laughed and Sasha shook his head. “No, she’ll likely pester you twice as much now to try and get her little know it all prissy claws into you.”

“Great, that’s just what I need.”

“Oh don’t pout Tiger Bitch,” he cooed, stroking my hair. “If I had to bet on anyone being able to go toe to toe with her, it’d be you.”

“You just want to see a fight.”

He shrugged, mischief shining in his eyes. “I’m Russian. We always enjoy a good fight.”

Heather rolled her eyes. “It’d hardly be a fight. Simone has too much of a hold on things here. Sorry new girl, but I doubt you’d make a dent.”

“I think she’d get a few good hits in at least,” Ari added, digging into her pockets. “Need a pick me up?”

“No thanks,” I answered, the now distant memories of the rush whatever pills she had on her burning in my mind. “I’ve kicked shit like that.”

Ari groaned. “God you’re just like Sasha!”

“You’re sober?” I asked the bald man beside me as he snubbed out his cigarette.

“I am!”

“It’s only been like three months!” Heather reminded him.

He slapped her arm. “It still counts! How long have you been sober Tiger?”

“A while.”

Sasha hummed, examining my face closely. “You look like the type with some really fucked up past.”

I smiled. “Takes one to know one right?”

“You’re a cunt. I love it.”

Will’s head popped out of the back door and he sighed. “There you all are. Service starts in thirty minutes, let's get a move on.”

“Bossy bossy!” Sasha hissed, embracing Will in a tight hug. “Loosen up a bit or you’ll end up like Howard!”

“Or worse, Simone,” Ari said with a snicker.

Will rolled his eyes. “Well at least they’re not wasting time smoking and gossiping.”

“You love to gossip,” Heather chided as she moved past him.

“Not when we have service to prep for.” Will sighed at the crowd and nodded to me. “Don’t let these idiots get you into trouble.”

Each of them made offended noises as we moved through the back hall toward the lobby. “Thanks for the heads up, they seem like real rabble rousers.”

Scott had the kitchen in full swing by the time I’d washed my hands and gotten ready to hop into whatever position Scott wanted me in. He nodded to me. “You’re with me tonight, newbie. Try to keep up.”

I smiled. Finally something somewhat challenging. “Yes Chef.”

It was amazing how it had been years since I'd spent this much time in the fast paced chaos that was a professional kitchen yet my mind and body still remembered every step, every skill and ingredient that it needed to. All those years of study, all the years of sweat and tears and pain that I survived just to have this second chance of sorts… It was all made worth it when that tiny spark began to burn brighter in my chest. It was worth it as I finally began to feel how much I loved this. That was why I was here. Sure, I needed to start making steady money again, but I could do that anywhere… I wanted to be here, wanted to find this passion again.

The night was busy, just like the one before and likely the one to follow, but I kept up with the rush of food and orders and plating. I kept pace with Scott, who never outright praised my work, but looked over everything I did with an approving him. This was where I belonged, a hot and crazy kitchen putting my eager and skilled hands onto the food and sending it out to a crowded lobby of rich assholes willing to blow hundreds of dollars on anything we have them.

As soon as everything was cleaned up I snuck away to my locker, changing into a more comfortable T-shirt and holding my jacket tightly. My fingers ran over the peeling letters. Jack & Ozzy's. I smiled to myself. "Hope you're proud of me big man."

"There you are!" Isaac shouted from the doorway as he stormed towards me. "I was promised drinks."

"I made no such promise!" I reminded him as I pulled my jacket on. "You convinced yourself of my acceptance."

He shrugged. "Same thing. Come on, you're staying for at least one drink."

I signed and let him tug me into step beside him. "One drink. Then I'm outta here."

"Yeah yeah," he mocked. "Could you lighten up just a little?"

"Never." I smirked. "That'd make your life way too easy."

*

The first night Jake had been… Disappointed. It wasn't often he stuck around too long after service, he had far better places to be of course, but he did. All to see the new girl. He wasn't desperate, not in any sense of the word, if he wanted he could go to a random bar and pick up any girl he wanted. But he wanted this one. He wanted to get that bored look to twist into something more fun, wanted to pull that red hair into his hands, wanted to see just how much she'd give up.

When she hadn't come out with the cook that seemed to be closest to her he felt an irrational sense of frustration rise up into his chest. She'd not even bothered to show up, not even bothered to grace the waiting crowd with answers to their endless questions. It was impressive, or it would have been if he hadn't been so pissed off. He had to spend that whole night listening to them talk about her, the cook giving away nothing to any that asked. Even Simone couldn't seem to stop talking about her. This girl… Lena, was something else and Jake was fucking curious.

So when she slid out of the kitchen doors with the cook on her arm he smiled. He stayed off to the side, observing her as she sat down beside Sasha and gave the group her attention. Simone had already left with Howard like she always did and so now was the perfect time to see what the redhead was really made of. He pushed himself away from the dark corner and moved around the bar, giving Nicky a pat on the shoulder as he passed.

He practically shoved her cook friend out of the way and leaned toward her with a flirty grin. "What's your drink?"

*

I looked up into those pretty, shallow, eyes of his with a scoff. Who the hell does he think he is? He leaned forward, the chain around his neck almost dangling as he grew closer. I shrugged, giving him my best set of doe eyes. "What can you make?"

That smug, self assured smirk grew wider. "Anything you want."

"I'll just take something simple."

From behind him Isaac rolled his eyes at me. "Something simple then."

Sasha downed his drink and slid his glass toward the man with a smile, "Make me one too Jakey."

I leaned forward against the bar, if a game was what he was looking for I'd play. It'd been a long time since I'd seen a man like him humbled. "Jake? That's your name?"

He looked up at me, self assured and smug still, but his pupils flared when I spoke his name. "Yeah."

"Where'd you learn how to mix drinks?"

"Here and there. It's all about time and practice," he said coolly. "Most people struggle more with the attitude than the actual drink making."

"But not you?"

That smile grew. "Nah, I was born for this shit."

"Hmm."

“What?” The man asked, the cocky look on his face twisting into a challenge.

“I dunno, I just don't think it’s as impressive as you say it is,” I clarified sweetly.

"Maybe not, but this takes a lot of skill, and a bit of charm for good measure. Plus you gotta be good with your hands.” He winked at me.

I resisted the urge to laugh. "You think quite highly of your skills.”

The bartender beside him rolled his eyes and served Sasha another drink. "You can say that again."

The flamboyant Jake simply continued. “I'm very good at my job.”

"How good?"

His eyes flashed to mine, drinking in the shy body language I'd molded. "Is it a show you're hoping to get by batting those lashes of yours?"

I hummed softly. “I'm just curious. Maybe we could make a bet.”

“A bet?”

I stood from my seat, Isaac shaking his head in the corner as he fought against his laughter. I moved around to join them behind the bar and looked up at Jake with a fake look of innocent curiosity. “You make a drink, I’ll watch and then I’ll make it the same way, maybe even better.”

The challenge shined in his eyes as he leaned down closer to me. It was obvious he expected me to back up, to yield at least for a moment, because when I didn’t his smile faltered for a split second. “What will this prove?"

"How complicated bartending can be, and how good you are at it."

"What do I get when I win?”

“Fifty bucks.”

“A fifty dollar drink?” He questioned with an amused noise as he mulled the offer over.

Sasha rolled his eyes. “I’m bored! Take the bet and give us a show!”

Everyone else cheered and Jake’s smile widened as he stood up straighter. “Better pay attention, I won’t slow it down for you.”

“I think I’ll manage,” I assured him, leaning against the bar and turning my eyes to his hands as he gathered up his materials and got to work.

He was a skilled bartender, the fluid movements of his hands reminded me of Ozzy in his prime. Jake’s technique had an extra flare of elegance that I could only assume he’d adopted while working here to give the rich guests a bit of an extra show. His hands curled around each ingredient he used, every drink and garnish being added to the cocktail with finesse and precision. The drink itself was one I’d made a hundred times, the technique was simple enough to replicate. I looked up at him as he shook the drink with a wide grin and a quick wink before he poured it into the glass and added the final touches.

He picked it up and handed it to me, far too cocky and overconfident. “You want to just give me the money and save yourself the embarrassment?”

I took a sip of the drink, light and fruity with a decadent aroma. “Not a chance.”

Jake chuckled and moved around the bar, sitting in my vacated seat beside Sasha. I smiled at him, sliding my jacket off the shoulders, slow and deliberately timed. His eyes shamelessly rolled down my body, fixing on the tiger tattoo on my arm with a curious smirk. Isaac gave my shoulder a squeeze as he moved past with a quick and quiet, “Try not to embarrass him too bad.”

This was going to be fun.

***

Jake settled in his seat, fixing his attention on the new girl. His curiosity rolled around in him like an ever growing ball the more she spoke. Howard had hired her on the spot, something that happened, well, never, and judging by the way she confidently jumped into the fast paced position she knew what she was doing. Still, with all that restaurant knowledge she seemed to have, she was just as innocent and easy to win over as the other women before her. This was his turf and he certainly had an easy win in the bag.

He watched her slowly remove her jacket, knowing full well the play she was throwing out, but still he looked anyway. She was attractive, soft looking skin and big doe eyes, certainly the type he was used to drawing in for some fun. The tiger tattoo was a bit surprising, bold against her skin and large enough that it was certain to be seen. She gathered the same ingredients together, and then flashed him a smile, her eyes shifting from the slightly bored and innocent to confident and fierce in a blink.

As soon as she started to make the drink he was shocked. The way she moved was mesmerizing, everything deliberate and sensual, drawing everyone's attention and praise with complete ease. She was fast, hands moving through the steps with unfaltering grace and what she lacked in finesse she made up for in her charisma and flare. This was not her first time making a drink.

“I think this is what they call a hussle,” Scott observed with a laugh as he settled into the seat beside him. 

Sasha was overjoyed. “Oh I like this bitch more and more every minute!”

Once she began shaking the drink Jake couldn’t help but glance at the way her tits bounced beneath her deep cut T-shirt, and when he managed to tear his eyes away from them he was met with a wide grin and a playful wink. Fuck. He thought as an unfamiliar feeling washed over him. Sure he was impressed with her, but it was more than that… something that he hadn’t felt in a long time, a spark that could easily turn into a wildfire if he left it uncontrolled and that was something he absolutely refused to allow.

She slid the drink across the bar to him, leaning over to give him a generous view down her shirt. Jake silently took a drink, the sweetness of the cocktail washing over his tongue in an instant. Fucking… She held her hand out, batting her eyelashes as she waited. “I believe I’m owed a crisp fifty dollar bill.”

He fished it out of his jacket and shook his head with an amused scoff. “Where’d you learn how to do all that?”

With a modest shrug she folded the bill delicately as she replied, “I'm a woman of many talents.”

"And mysteries."

"Especially mysteries."She smiled again bright and mischievous, placing the money between her teeth as she pulled her jacket back on. 

God damn. “It’s hardly fair to hussle a coworker on your second day.”

“Yeah, or maybe you just need to be more careful about who you bet, Jerk.” He chuckled at her use of his own words against him.

“It’s Jake.”

She clicked her tongue and held his money in between her fingers. “Right. Sorry, it’s a tough name.” The audacity of this woman… He was impressed, infuriated as well but impressed. She turned to Isaac as he walked back out of the kitchen and waved the cash around. “Dinners on me tonight. Or, I guess, it’s on the master bartender.”

Isaac shook his head. “You gotta stop hustling people you delinquent.”

"If you're gonna be uptight about it I'll share  dinner with another delinquent."

Sasha's hand shot up. "Please, Tiger Bitch! I am a delinquent, take me in and let me suckle at your victorious teets!"

The new girl rolled her eyes but grabbed Sasha by the jacket and pulled him with her out the front door. Isaac hurried after them. "Wait, I take it back! Please buy me dinner!"

Jake looked down at the drink in front of him and scoffed. "Fuckin bitch."

Nicky laughed. "Never thought I'd see the day a woman kicked you down a peg. I think I'm starting to like the new girl."

"She certainly makes things interesting."

"Heading home?"

"Later," Jake said, downing the rest of the drink and standing. "I gotta brush up on my tiger taming."

Nicky shook his head as he began cleaning the bar up. "I hope she tears you up."

"Me too."

[consolecadet]

After getting moderately lost on the college campus where it was sited, I went to the first meeting of my darkroom photography class. I arrived eight minutes late and wheezing -- not a great first impression, but it was cold, I have asthma, and I was hurrying. Just like when I was an undergrad, only it now hurts slightly less to walk!

There were only two other students, a married couple named something like Christopher and Kim, or Kyle and Kristy, or something. Of course I forgot their names but still remember the name of the dog they mentioned having, an Alaskan Malamute called Panda. They seem nice enough, vaguely hipstery. Calvin said he was interested in film photography for the aesthetic, which, valid.

The instructor's name is Paul and, unsurprisingly, he is an older gentleman. He told us his favorite thing to do photographically is to use high-ISO film with large grains, then enlarge an area of the photo until it looks almost like a pointillist painting. The prints he showed us tonight, though, were more conventional ones: dead leaves, the campus at night, a tasteful nude of a thin woman, an outtake from a series he shot of old Grange buildings. (Proto-union-halls, I guess? I don't know much about granges beyond the unrelated ZZ Top song.)

We could not get my grandfather's camera working because the batteries, which were from the 1990s at the latest, were dead. It takes button batteries, like a hearing aid. Paul asked if I had the manual, and I admitted that at home, in additional to the manual, I have all the receipts, because my grandparents keep everything. There was a partially shot, undeveloped roll of film in there. I'm sure it's quite old. Once I know what I'm doing, I'll develop it and see if any images survived.

I'd kinda figured that learning to shoot and develop film would help me reconnect with both my grandparents (my grandmother was always more a photographer than my grandfather) and keep my grandfather's memory alive, just because the camera was his. But I as I watched Paul demonstrate the developer bath I remembered -- how could I have not thought of this before? -- that my grandfather was a chemist. The real keeping-alive is in learning the chemistry.

The processes of developing film and making prints feel almost intentionally tailored to fuck with any person who struggles with executive function. It's alllll watching a big clock for one to seventeen minute durations and remembering to gently agitate a container for ten seconds every minute, and pouring a series of similarly colored fluids in the correct order only. Luckily, there's no cell service down there, so you can't get distracted texting or whatever.