#...and vent my fears in my tags :) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ask-the-colony-tree-siblings · 22 days

Note

Hey, Hunter!

Aside from the chronic back pain, what other long lasting symptoms did you have from the Rot, if any?

((Okay! So my attempt to answer this somehow developed into a rant about Hunter’s characterization so… here you go lol.))

So I have to answer this on Hunter’s behalf, because part of his character is that he doesn’t like to admit any sort of weakness. Apart from chronic pain, I essentially just gave him the symptoms of low iron. He gets light headed and dizzy, and he is often tired or low energy.

Hunter has this mindset that being weak, or showing weakness makes you useless. (I wonder what could have possibly made him develop that way of thinking. Surely nothing to do with the way he was raised and treated growing up.) Keep in mind, Hunter’s very logical logic only applies to him. He wouldn’t judge Survivor for not being strong, Hunter just has unhealthy expectations of himself that definitely aren’t realistic anymore with his post-rot symptoms, and were never actually that realistic to begin with.

He has a habit of ignoring his own symptoms, and pretending to be perfectly fine when he isn’t. He’d never admit it if his chronic pain is making it difficult for him to function properly.

(His physical health is one thing, but don’t even get me started on how Hunter views his mental health lmao.)

Uhhh anyways bonus light headed/dizzy Hunter:

#Rw siblings au #Rw Hunter #Me when I PROJECT #I have low iron #I also feel genuine fear/panic when I hear the word ‘whining’ lmfao #Noooooo I’m not weak at all #Let me go for this run even though I’m light headed because I don’t want anyone to think I’m trying to get out of running #And then why don’t I faint on the road like a dumbass #But hey at least nobody accused me of making my condition up for attention or something #Like I’m scared they would have if I’d tried to sit out of the run #Haters (my parents) be like:#“Stop whining! Suck it up! You’re being dramatic!” 😡😡😡#And then I faint and suddenly my mom’s all:#“Why don’t you ever take care of yourself???” 🥺🥺🥺 “if you were light headed you should have told somebody!!!” 🥺🥺🥺#Like UGHHHH shut up it’s your fault I’m like this #I’m gonna shut up now I just realized I’ve been venting in the tags lmfao #Anyways I love projecting on the sillies #Gotta be one of my favourite hobbies

68 notes · View notes

its-a-beautful-day · 9 months

Text

Been thinking about how it feels, being the wild child

the struggle of not feeling human, when emotions get too strong,

when hands feel like paws and teeth become fangs, shoulders and hunches raised in anger and low growls of fear,

somehow this body language is easier, is more natural than my own

#star's art #my art #artist on tumblr #vent art i guess #actually autistic #Not really sure what to tag this as #But I was the kid that growled at others #People didnt listen to no and stop #But they do listen to growls and snarls #Unfortunately it also makes you really really lonely #It wasn't always out of anger or fear I'd get to transform #Sometimes on my own I'd be able to play and it was always so much fun #Trampolines are great for crawling soft play sorta thing #Getting to wrestle with our dogs and learn their language #How they play and signal for different moves #How I could mimic it without ears or a tail #I miss the joy of being a creature but I don't have the room currently #Shitty laminate hurts to crawl on #Bleh I know this is my post but I feel I'm blabbing #Idk I hope this resonates with someone like how freeing making it felt

98 notes · View notes

garoujo · 11 months

Text

i’m not normally one to bring negative vibes onto my blog but i’ve gotten a sudden wave of unease being on here tbh so im considering drifting from here for a little bit once more. i’ve thought about creating a new blog but also wouldn’t want to waste the masterlist that i’ve worked hard to build for the people who enjoy my work + support me!

i’ve never had a super close circle of friends as such on here but i’m very grateful for the few friends i have made that continue to interact with me. i do really enjoy tumblr and i love creating, i’m grateful for the interaction i get and i know i’ve been on here a while but there always seems to be a sort of uneasiness that i feel stems from previous problems with other people on here.

it can feel a little silly from a blog like me feeling a little ‘outcasted’ and i don’t even know if i’d use that word, but i’ve just never been one that felt comfortable with the sort of underground, high school energy that i sometimes feel radiate around here. i guess i sometimes feel like i’m walking on egg shells to avoid sub posts / bad energy because i really only want to enjoy myself! but yeah, i’m gonna be less active for a few days atleast because i really need the rest anyway after my holiday + a few things on here have just sort of triggered my mental health.

but just know i love all of u, thank u for everything no matter what <3

return to regular navigation

#ʚ・◞📎 — em entry.#cw vent #i’m gonna tag this cos ew it feels so gross to even post this like i don’t want sympathy i’m just spiralling i fear #idk sometimes i just get the random urge everyone is talking about me + normally i wouldn’t care ….#but if it hits at a bad moment w my anxiety / bpd it just sends me off the deep end sob

107 notes · View notes

bluestrawberrybunny · 7 days

Text

As my work day comes to a close, I debate about joining Discord servers again... joining servers is scary... mostly because an ex abuser was in the same fandoms as me and frequented Discord so... idk...

It genuinely depends...

#smg4 #tw vent #its only in the tags but still #blue strawberry rambles #they ruined my life and i fear they'll try to do it again the next time they see me...#the thought of running in to them in a discord server again is genuinely terrifying #like... this is genuine fear from me not just my anxiety being a bitch #i trust y'all but i dont know if they're a part of the fandom still or not and i am genuinely so terrified to run in to my abuser again #if anyone is wondering why i haven't been in any SMG4 servers this is why :)#cw abuse mention #tw abuse mention

19 notes · View notes

teknikolor-walters · 3 months

Text

Does anyone else feel a debilitating fear of getting better? Is this normal? Does it secretly prove I'm just faking everything for attention? Probably tbh

#cicadas vent tag #likr #i was looking at my knee would and realised it was getting kinda better #and felt almost . disappointed and afraid #and with mental illness the feeling is rven worse #like of course i want to get better!!! obviously!!!#but i feel almost sad when i realized i havent had a suicidal thought in a while #but tbh #the fear of never getting better is also terrifying #it must be so annoying to watch me hate myself and hurt myself over and over again and not get any better #but the idea of getting better is scary too #yknow?#its all terrifying #maybe the only non scary reality is one where i isolate myself from all of my friends forever #but that just makes me sad #ok this feels kind of all over the place but . idk its a very all over the place kind of feeling #delete later #ok this one is getting taken out of the drafts early cuz i just refused my parents offer to wash my knee #and one od my thoughts was 'what if it stops hurting'#im fucked up like deeply i think #btw im doing fine now im so cozy just . yeah

18 notes · View notes

thefanciestborrower · 6 months

Text

Man,,,I’m so tired

#there’s always something going on somewhere in this community that I need to care about #Some problematic person or friend groups who hate each other #Characters you’re allowed or not allowed to draw #You have to like vore one of two hyper specific ways and if you go outside of that then YOU’RE the problematic one #Each part of the community keeps splitting off smaller and smaller and they all hate each other it feels like #Main fandoms hate you for existing and OCs get headcannoned beyond recognition #Idk how to tag this I’m just having a moment #I don’t even want to be in the ‘vore community’ I just want to post stuff #And not fear for my life if I post something slightly out of the norm #Like I like fatal and reformation and I like slightly spicier stuff between couples and I like familial and teens being goofy and #It just feels impossible to exist like that idk #Might delete later tbh #I’m just tired of all the rules and the feuds and the fighting #vent post

30 notes · View notes

dumbanddev1n · 1 year

Text

Sometimes, the amount of fandoms I’m in makes me legitimately dizzy

#like #how can my brain support all that????#it doesn’t seem like it should be possible #I don’t understand lmao #(I had this tagged with a lot of my fandoms but bc of my unreasonable fear of getting reprimanded literally anywhere I took them off)#and I know that getting a nicely worded email that smth I did isn’t cool is not a big deal in the long run. but the idea of it is freaking #me out lmao #I need to stop venting in tags #ok bye

127 notes · View notes

seventh-district · 4 months

Text

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill #well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst #like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made #bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you #but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings #and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste #there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc #so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything #if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is #which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose #anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages #or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing #i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know #it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess #as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence #the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education #i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype #sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen #there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions #like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity #like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem #but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.

13 notes · View notes

foxett · 2 months

Text

Me after actually almost crying because i played a horror game in the dark and when I tried to leave the room (irl) i thought i heard an entity and i was so brainrotted that i almost started bawling my eyes out and was gonna hide (I started lore(trauma) dropping on my friend in vc right after)

I'm so cooked

#foxett rambles #literally block this tag if you don't wanna hear me yap.#implied pressure (Roblox)#look i got jumped by a pinkie i was SCARED #squiddles made me scared of the dark again!#if i hallucinate a squiddle ill unironically cry and gain a new trauma fear thingy 😂😂😂#first eyeballs then eyes on walls then single eye mutation that scares the living bleep out of me and now pressure entities #REMIND ME NOT TO PLAY PRESSURE WHILE ITS DARK OUTSIDE.#ill have to blast myself with music to drown it out #vent post #i guess???? kinda.?.?????? uh #i want my life back please i miss being a dumb 7 year old i miss being a dumb 12 year old i miss #help me

7 notes · View notes

cowboy-robooty · 9 months

Text

primal fear

#VERY OLD DRAWING 😍😍😍#it looks like shit cuz its an hour doodle thing #little grayscale blending test #draws #IM TRYING TO GET OVER MY IRRATIONAL FEAR OF PEOPLE THINKING MY DRAWINGS ARE VENT ART WHEN THEYRE NOT #i just... dont want people to get the wrong idea about how i percieve the world and what my struggles are..#but this is mai personal blog i should post any drawings i think are a little cool #people should already know someone can explore themes without having a personal connection to them #shit is just interesting sometimes and its fun to be an outsider looking in #classic robooty essay in the tags LOOK I HAVE A LOT OF SAY THIS IS MY HOUSE AND ILL YAP AWAY!

25 notes · View notes

shalom-iamcominghome · 2 months

Note

About your earlier post, you are most certainly not boo boo the fool for wanting to wear your kippah out and proud; I love that you’re standing strong. I completely understand why people don’t want to wear it but we as men need to not let our fear get in the ways of showing/wearing our tradition. Again not bashing any dude who decides to hide or take off their kippah, but more of just wish and hope that we stand firm and strong for our G-d and his Torah.

I appreciate the thought you've given not just to myself but in recognizing others who don't or can't follow suit. I definitely did notice that other guys did it in my shul but... I didn't realize it, if that makes sense. I can't assume why they do it, but I truly hope it's not because of fear.

I just... really wanted to thank you, though, because I've been having a lot of feelings about all of this, and while I don't show it, it's been hard to process. I'm forever grateful not only for the kindness I have received online, but offline as well - I hope I can show the same kindness as you. And I hope to one day live in a future where we don't even have to question our safety

#ask #jumblr #personal thoughts tag #using us language here for this instance - just to clarify that i'm (still) a WIP #i definitely agree with you in that i also don't want anyone to feel bashed for their decisions #my only hope is that they are able to make whatever choice they make because they WANT to make it and not out of fear #i love the traditions and i just want that same happiness for others #once again i don't know what i did to be worthy of such kindness - i'm going to repay all of you by trying to be just as kind #in a lot of ways i know i need to vent about this stuff but i also don't feel like i've quite earned it #and being met with conversation like this is meaningful to me #your words aren't being unappreciated - it's quite the opposite. i am beyond thankful to have all of you

12 notes · View notes

traumagenica · 6 months

Text

I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE I'M A FAILURE

#all caps #vent #vent post #venting #text post #failure #fear of failure #low self worth #mental illness #<< admin tags #IM A FAILURE IM A FAILURE IM A FAILURE #I NEVER AMOUNTED TO ANYTHING #I CRUSHED MY FAMILYS DREAMS OF FINANCIAL SECURITY WITH MY SELFISHNESS #I THREW AWAY RELATIONSHIPS I CHERISHED JUST BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING SAD #I WORRY EVERY DAY IS THE DAY MY HUSBAND LEAVES ME #I STILL DONT HAVE KIDS OR A HOUSE OR EVEN A FUCKING DOG #I NEVER WENT TO GRAD SCHOOL #IM TOO SICK TO HAVE HOBBIES OUTSIDE MY OWN HOME #I CAN'T EVEN MAINTAIN MY HOME #THE ONLY THING I WAS EVER GOOD FOR WAS MY BRAINS BUT I LOST THEM #I HAVENT CREATED ANYTHING BEAUTIFUL OR PROFOUND OR WORTHWHILE #I HAVENT MADE BANK #I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING TO MEDICALLY TRANSITION #IVE NEVER KISSED A GIRL #I STILL CANT AFFORD TO VISIT MY NEPHEW #I STILL BARELY KNOW MY SISTER #I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE I HATE IT HERE #SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF MY OWN HEAD I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

16 notes · View notes

bluegekk0 · 5 months

Text

Been feeling like a huge disappointment recently but I just Hades II so I think I'm gonna be fine for a bit. Maybe.

Well, the game's awesome so it'll be a nice distraction at least.

#vent in tags proceed at own risk i guess #can't get rid of the fear that i'm a bad friend #and i'm just waiting for people who are my friends to slowly realize that #and find better more interesting people to hang out with #already suspecting it might be the case with at least one of them #but i might just be paranoid #either way it sucks and i've felt so worthless because of that #and other things #also realizing that i'm gonna be so lost and confused once i'm done with uni #i really don't know what i'm gonna do and it scares me #sigh it is what it is i guess #gekko.txt

10 notes · View notes

zylphiacrowley · 7 months

Text

I'm sorry my hands are shaking, I don't normally feel this way...

18 notes · View notes

daily-whistlepaw · 6 months

Text

daily whistlepaw until ah becomes PoV day 1167

I think I finally understand how people feel when around a crush, can't say I enjoy it

#warrior cats #whistlepaw #windclan #medicine cat apprentice #this isn't my first crush lol but this one has had me feel the strongest of feelings (and might be my first genuine crush lol)#the fact I have been building up A Lot of stress for the entire week probably didn't help.#and the fact my stomach hurt is also probably at least partially to explain by the fact I barely ate last night #but MAN seeing my (latest) crush in such a pretty dress and then go on stage and play (a goddess!!!!!!! she's a goddess)#(I already bought tickets to go see the full thing; I will die but I will die happy (I hope))#but yeah I struggled for a good 2 hours to fall asleep and also had stomach weirdness happening the next morning #man it was not fun #(and then she came to sit next to me during class and I had to play it cool (I was too deranged on sleep deprivation to really care about #being my typical brand of weird but I do sometimes feel like an idiot around her and feel guilty because then I fear that she finds me #annoying and will hate me and I will fail this again (losing a friendship over a crush once was not that fun lol) and Traumas don't help #either at all so uh I'm just trying to spend time with her I just always feel a bit worried that I'm annoying her and it's consuming my bra #I do also still feel a little guilty about having this crush; internalized homophobia/issues around sexuality are hard to shake off #and while it's very normal and stuff I never dare to go the entire way when my brain conjures fantasies that are a little too risqué #I just feel guilty man I know I shouldn't but still it fucking sucks in my brain #and god talking about this in therapy would be a mess #I might have to eventually but I don't wanna #anyways; wild vent in the tags aside; yay a whis!

9 notes · View notes

daz4i · 1 year

Text

ik it's not good to latch onto a mental illness as your defining trait but also. babe i don't have much else going on or any other sense of identity beyond it

#''you don't want to heal from depression bc you don't know who you are without it'' yeah no shit. if there's no depression there's no me #also i got the no sense of identity disorder!!!! so!!!! said disorder is just my only identity ig!!!!!!#ik this is why ppl look for labels and i am no different but all my labels hinge on being vague so like . not very helpful #others i know latch onto their nationality/religion/heritage etc. but i definitely don't feel pride in any of those #dare i even say i feel disgust. i am more defined by my disdain for being jewish than my actual judaism #ppl say to let what you love define you. but. i don't love. i mean i love my cat but i don't think that can define me #also maybe I'm just autistic but i don't really get how one can even be defined by what they love 🤔#and this whole thing is so weird. bc in so many people's head there is this very firm image #and people tell me i seem confident and like i know how i am and that I'm being myself in an honest way #girl i don't even know what myself is!!!! i am more defined by my lack of definition than anything 😭😭😭#or my worse traits like stubbornness and hypocrisy and obsession #wouldja look at that we just circled back to my bpd. see what I'm saying?#vent #ask to tag #sorry for all the vents today 🫡 i am at my worst actually and i fear i may lose it at any moment ✨️

25 notes · View notes