#10-foot alligators

[johnschneiderblog]

See ya later ...

Alligators rule the natural world, but this big boy I caught working on his tan Wednesday may be in for an involuntary change of scenery soon.

A man who lives near this lagoon told me that once they grow too big for the neighborhood (10 feet long, he thought), they're moved to a more suitable location.

As you can see, this one in this photo is every inch of 10 feet. A gator that big upsets the natural balance and becomes a menace not only to his fellow lagoon-dwellers, but also to the nearby humans and pets.

Hilton Head's alligators make a fine living eating wading birds, snakes, turtles, fish and small mammals like raccoons and opossums and, so I’m told, the occasional wayward dog or small deer.

Alligators have been around for 65 million years and look about the same as they did when they roamed the earth with dinosaurs.

By the way, the proper word for a group of alligators is "congregation."

[ysabelmystic]

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[bootleg-nessie]

Rating the Accuracy of Animal Names:

(I keep updating this list so check back later)

Marine Iguana: 1/10. They don’t allow lizards in the military

Honey Badger: 1/10. It’s not even made out of honey

Horny toad: 0/10. First of all, this is a lizard. Second of all, I couldn’t find one that was willing to have sex with me so they must not actually be all that horny

Crabeater seal: 1/10. They don’t even eat crabs. Felt uncomfortable asking about the other kind but I’d guess probably not those either

Comb jellyfish: 4/10. Doesn’t even have hair

Hammerhead shark: 10/10. Stop killing hammerhead sharks to make hammers

Paper nautilus: 1/10. Paper would get too soggy

Red Panda: 2/10. Not a panda. More orange than red

Jellyfish: 0/10. Not even a fish, but if it were, jelly would be one of the worst things to be made out of

Electric eel: 5/10. Not an eel. Shocking, I know

Blue footed booby: 2/10. My disappointment is immeasurable. Turns out this lying sack of shit is a just a stupid BIRD

Spiny lumpsucker: 8/10. Apparently this fish is named because it has spines AND a suction cup, not because it sucks on spiny lumps

Pleasing fungus beetle: 2/10. Why would fungus be pleased by a beetle eating it? It just worked so hard to grow

Chicken turtle: 1/10. This is just a regular turtle, there are no chickens involved

Red lipped batfish: 8/10. Not a bat. Does have red lips. Also looks incredibly sexy with that makeup on

Aye aye: 10/10. Does in fact, have two eyes

Blobfish: 10/10 out of water, 1/10 in water. The blobfish gets a bad rap, it only looks like a blob because some dickhead pulled it out of its natural habitat at the bottom of the fucking ocean. You’d look pretty weird if you switched places with them too

Dik dik: 5/10 if male, 0/10 if female. This one’s pretty self explanatory

Mountain chicken: 0/10. THIS IS A FUCKING FROG. STOP NAMING ANIMALS AFTER CHICKENS!

Peacock: 0/10. It pees out of a cloaca, not a cock. Technically it doesn’t even pee either

Monarch butterfly 1/10. They aren’t even one of the species of insects that has a queen, let alone understands the concept of monarchism

Cockatiel: 0/10. They do not have teal cocks

Monkey slug caterpillars: 1/10. These are neither slugs nor monkeys, nor are they some kind of fucked up monkey/slug hybrid. Terrible name all around, the only part they got right was caterpillar

Robin: 5/10. It’s a shame this bird has to resort to thievery but we all have to put worms on the table somehow

Alligator snapping turtle: 1/10. This is not an alligator, nor does it even have the fingers to snap with

Ground squirrel: 5/10. Please don’t grind squirrels

Axolotl: 0/10. Doesn’t ask a lot. Doesn’t ask anything at all

Sea robin: 7/10 This is what happens when the land robin goes pro. This creepy fuck evolved little fingers just to steal things. Is this where fish fingers come from?

Tasmanian devil: 8/10. Much like the christian devil, cool name and way more chill than most people give them credit for. Statistically speaking, they’re far from the deadliest player on the board, but they do have the strongest bite force and won’t hesitate to use it if provoked

Water deer: 7/10. No. This is a meat deer

Star nosed mole: 7/10. Name is somewhat misleading, nose merely star shaped, and not a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace

Paddlefish: 3/10. Too narrow to effectively be used as a paddle

Shoebill stork: 1/10. Not made of real shoes. Doesn’t pay bills either

Great white shark: 8/10. I’m inclined to agree for the most part but who came up with the name, David Duke?

Bioko drill: 0/10. At least the hammerhead shark looks like a hammer, this stupid monkey doesn’t even remotely resemble a drill

Hippo Tang: 0/10. That’s a fish, and hippos don’t even drink Tang

Bluejay: 3/10. Not actually blue, it’s just a trick of the light. I bet their real name probably isn’t even Jay either

Satanic Nightjar: 4/10. Should be called “slightly evil looking bird” instead

Tarantula hawk wasp: 1/10. Not a tarantula. Not a hawk. Starting to question if it’s even a wasp

Goblin shark: 10/10? Ever seen their jaw move? They sure are gobblin’

Nudibranch: 5/10. The nude part is accurate but it’s a sea slug, not a tree branch. Not even sure how you could possibly make that mistake

Mongoose: 0/10. No mon, it’s not a goose

Bison: 7/10. I just googled it, bison have more gay sex than straight sex so calling them bi is actually pretty accurate. Points removed because there are bidaughters too

Ram: 10/10. They sure do!

Mandrill: 2/10. They could probably be taught to use drills but I couldn’t find any research on this

Silver fox: 1/10. Silver is way too heavy of an element for an animal to be made of

Mayfly: 9/10 Yeah, they might

Fin whale: 10/10. Yep, whales have fins. Glad we cleared that up

Macaroni penguin: 1/10. They don’t eat macaroni

Horseshoe crab: 0/10. Not a crab. Doesn’t wear horseshoes either

Fangtooth: 10/10. Objectively I have to give it a 10 but this is the stupidest fucking name on the whole list. What’s next, knucklefist? Titboob?

Milkfish 1/10. If I go to your house and you offer me fish milk I’m fucking leaving

Little penguin: 10/10. Telling it exactly like it is

Spider monkey: 1/10. Was expecting a monkey with 8 limbs. Let down once again

Glass frog: 2/10. Not actually made out of glass

Hummingbird: 1/10. They can’t even hum

Centipede: 3-35.4/10. Depends on the species, very few actually have 100 legs

Millipede: 0.8-8/10. They have 800 legs at the most

Sockeye salmon: 1/10. Socks would make terrible eyes

Furry lobster: 10/10, 11/10 if that’s a fursuit

Flying fish: 4/10. Merely glides

Sailfish: 3/10. Doesn’t actually know how to sail

Blanket octopus: 2/10. Octopuses make terrible blankets

Cane Toad: 2/10. Can walk just fine without a cane

[lokidotir]

So someone pointed out that Leo may have been the most aware of the boys when they were first mutated, being the only one sitting up and reacting to Splinter when he spoke.

Now I'm wondering if maybe Leo isn't actually the Eldest of them. Just work with me on this.

He has shown the most maturity overall in the series, and keeps the other in check when they try to do dumb without dampening the others idea of him being fun.

In every other iteration, Leo is always the oldest, and hence, the leader. And this shows turn Raph into the oldest and leader. But the reasoning that keeps being brought up in the show for Raph being older, is that his the biggest. And normally, that makes since. The older sibling is 8 times out of 10 the biggest. But he's also an alligator snapping Turtle, which are known to be very large.

This scene makes Leo out to be goofy (which is part of this versions personality) but also, did you see what he did? The boys wanted to go after some pretty dangerous criminals for their first hero mission. Now, at first watch through, I thought he was just being scared to get hurt, but after a while of watching his character, I think it was to protect his brothers more. Just look at what happened when they went after the 'paper theives' and they all could have gotten seriously hurt. If Leo had agreed to the spine breaking bandit, who knows how worse off they could have been? And Leo was able to use his charms and general goofiness to get the boys excited to go after paper theives.

And he does this for so many other episodes. If they're already in a bind, Leo jumps in to turn it around if he can. And look at when they broke the wifi and went to the mall, Leo was the one to get his brothers rallied into actually fighting the Foot leaders. Raph may have been the one to try to get his brothers to do something first, but it was Leo who managed it.

This scene right here, I can't get enough of. Leo is so vulnerable to Hueso about being alone. Sure, he got them into what he thought was a mess, but he did everything he could to save them. He learns from his mistakes.

And what of him barging into Hueso's office and crushing the model ship? You wonder how he showed maturity in that scene? I'm not saying he did. He was so terrified his brothers were gone, that he tried to play it off as no big deal at that moment. I have older siblings, and I am one as well, and I notice that when a younger is in trouble, we try to help right away. But when we don't know how to help, we kinda just float, wondering what to do, and most times, we try to make our sibling laugh, or we attempt to play off a situation thats happening while our sib is crying as something not so bad to keep them from having a worse time. Leo had no clue what to do. He went to the only person he could think of that could possibly help him. He's always known by Hueso as the dumbone, or close to that. Leo didn't want him to know just how bad he needed guidance. I could go more on this part, but that's for another time and subject.

My main point here is, it's very possible that Leo could have been the oldest, but out of Lou Jitzu's confusion on children, he was probably not even considered as older then anyone for a while.

Don't get me started on the Pizza Puff episode. That ones on crack. And magic poison... but that would get me waaaay off track.

That's my theory in a seashell, but I guess ge could just have been a mature younger sibling. They don't all have to be the oldest to be the leader of the siblings :)

[my-name-is-bunnyfoxy]

Rise Raphael HEADCANNONS

Besides Ghost Bear, he was always a huge fan of Jake ''The Snake'' Roberts, Mr.Perfect and John Cena.

Raph actually tended to dream to do football, basketball, baseball, boxing and even volleyball.

Once he met Mona (in my AU) she had him join a wrestling group she was apart of along with a boxing group. He visits it every Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.

Him, Franken-Foot and Slash (my AU) often spar together and beat each other. TO THE DEATH. Not really-

Contrary to popular belief, he swears THE MOST out of all of his brothers. Like bro does NOT care if he dropped the worst f bomb ever at all.

He is a massive fan of Hello Kitty and My Little Pony. He own quite a lot of merch. He actually does read the creepypasta's of these two franchises he likes. He never really was a fan though. Not because he found the fanfics gory or something, he just thought they were stupid and overrated. Plus he saw them as edgy and a ''let's make everything so bloody and gross'' cliche kind of thing.

He actually enjoys live-action Disney movies. Though he prefers the original more.

He tried to be friendly with Mayhem multiple times but eventually gave up. Just because he knew he's not gonna force him to like him all of a sudden. Though both managed to stay neutral on each other after a long time.

Raph loves animals, though he has a hard time getting along with them. He is capable of not having animals like cats, hamsters and mice get scared from him.

When he is left alone for way too long, he starts to hear noises and hallucinates that there are people watching him or glaring at him. Which would eventually result in either him having a panic attack or going feral.

He will actively devour anything. (Probably the reason why he never threw up when 2012 Mikey made the most horrendous recipe EVER-)

His favorite source of comfort is just cuddling with someone or something in a warm blanket.

His love language is physical touch, acts of service and quality time. Though mainly physical touch.

Raph would often wear clothes that are stretchable and capable of not getting ruined because of his spikey shell.

Raph often doesn't like his turtle species. He feels as if he is way too big, too spikey and doesn't fit in. His brothers remind him a lot that he is perfect the way he is and he shouldn't feel ashamed of being huge and looking a lot different then all of them. When he met Slash, the insecurity slowly began to fade away. As he enjoyed the company of meeting another alligator snapping turtle. Also Slash is like 10 feet tall so he is able to give Raph all the piggy back rides he wants.

In the future he would get various tattoos because he thinks they look cool. Plus they represent his family.

He almost swallowed his damn fist. Don't ask me how.

He unintentionally murdered a lizard because he thought it was a spider. Yeah so Mona found out about that-

Despite getting ABSOLUTELY flustered regarding flirting or having romantic advances given to him. Oh dear lordy ya'll do not wanna know how much of a rizzer he can genuinely be... Then there are times when he has the worst rizz to the point you question how he could pull anyone.

He loves marshamllows.

He is the 2nd closest to Todd. With Todd often letting Raph come over to play with his puppies and or pet-sit them.

Raph sleeps like a grizzly bear. That's it.

He doesn't mind Leo following him like a small baby duckling.

His Melody plushie (that bunny from Hello Kitty) is his stress toy. He hugs and squeezes it tightly. Splinter and Donnie ended up getting him a big sized one just for him on his 18th birthday.

[be-the-creature-fan]

WILD KRATTS. Season 3 Review!!!!!!!!!!

One sentence review (1 being the worst-10 being a masterpiece) Hope you enjoy :)

Hermit Crab Shell Exchange: WHY did Gormond call Chris "Green Pea" instead of "Green Grape"? However this episode have so many great moments to count. 9/10

When Fish Fly: I love the use of the "take a walk in my shoes" trope, it would have been cool if they stuck with the team switching roles until the very end but besides that this episode is iconic. See, finding creatures is like a piece of cake/10

Slider the Otter: How did Slider live that long? Cute episode but not the most memorable (sorry if you like this episode) 6/10

Mosquitoe Dragon: WHY Ya Hitting yourself?! Also not a bad invention by Zach completely backfired though. 7/10

Search for the Florida Panther: Wholesome in every which way, I loved the scene where Martin makes Chris go out and search for food, the live action part is also one of my favorites. 9/10

Osprey: I'm probably a bit bias but this episode is Amazing, fricking Jimmy loosing stuff is hilarious and not only do they make an episode of an animal that's the Mascot of my favorite football team ( though it goes by the nickname) they realeased it the year they won the superbowl and to make it even more amazing...Green and Blue are the team colors!!! 10/10 ( GO HAWKS 💙💚) ahem...anyways.

Bandito the Black Footed Ferret: Getting a bit of name dejavu and Martin not learning his lesson from the Googly Eye: The Night Guru episode tsk tsk tsk, good episode though. 8/10

Where the Bison Roam: The talking Bison are cursed, and they switched who was Lewis and who was Clark midway through the episode, a little rough around the edges but it's still good 8/10

Crocogator Contest: Very informative still remember the difference between an Alligator and a Crocodile because of this episode also poor Jimmy. 7/10

The Amazing Creature Race: Team Fastfeet all the way babbbbbyyyyyy!!! Though we were cheated out of a Chrizelle moment, oh well 6/10.

Prarie Who: Just a fun episode, but what in the creature world was Koki doing? Also all those crash landings would have killed them except for Jimmy. 9 Yips/10

Mystery on the Prarie: I've been impaled the episode, poor Jimmy, Bush Chris needs to return and where is Moo after this episode? (Spoilers Moo wasn't full grown in the Christmas special) 8/10

Chameleons on Target: Bruh why was Aviva blaming the Kratt Brothers for that whole ring chip thing? The way they hid was funny. 7/10

Opossum in my Pocket: Gormond commits attempted murder on the Kratt Brothers. 8/10

Fossa Palooza: Best mothers day episode EVER, we saw Mama Kratt and their old neighborhood? 10/10

Mini Madagascar: 0_0 why they make the mouse lemur scary though. 7/10

Aye Aye: I love the pirate theme and why do Jimmy be lazy (I get it its a personality trait of his but still) but I mean Aviva could have done it also Aghhh. 7/10

Lemur Legs: Best episode opening in my opinion, they should have named one of the lemurs Zaboo instead of Bob but it was still funny. That sarcastic clap the WK crew did was also great 10/10

Under the Frozen Pond: Child endangerment and the WK team not playing fair at Hockey because they were loosing (but they were there first soooo) 7/10

Lemur Skink Fight: Tried a Tameron fruit before, it wasn't that great, unlike this episode, Also this was one of Donita's worse ideas she should stick to clothing. 8/10

Golden Bamboo Lemur: The dress looked better without the lemur, Why doesn't Donita utilize the hypnosis technology more often and I can't believe the Kratt Bros almost forgot Koki and Jimmy, Not cool man. 7/10

Tenric Treasure Hunt: Obi-Wan Kratt is big sad for loosing his Brother to the River. 8/10

Praying Mantis: I love this episode! Props to the animators for changing the "What if" animation to fit the live action bit, but what was up with that toy Monkey, still gives me the hebijibbies. 10/10

Capture the Fishmoblie: Technically not cheating if Aviva just handed it to them. 7/10

Back in Creature Time: THEY NEED TO MAKE A SEQUEL!!! Zach wanting to make the Kratt Brothers extinct is very dark I love it, also by changing where Great Grand daddy Gormond landed, potentially be a risk to whether or not Gormond would still exist? Also MARTIN WHY YOU SMUGGLING A TASMANIAN TIGER?!?! STOP. 10/10

Great season but I feel like after this season the writing changed...

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

I was at a state fair a few days ago, and there was a guy who had a reptile stand set up. There was an alligator that was 40 years old, but only 5-6 feet. I asked the guy running the stand and he said the growing season is shorter since we're in NW America, is that true?

He also had the snakes in pretty small enclosures, although I assume they were only in there for the day. For example, there was a fully grown milksnake in a ten gallon, and two corn snakes in a 15-20 gallon.

Cute or not cute?

(second time submitting this bc I think Tumblr ate the last one)

Oooh, that's definitely not true. Alligators don't have a "growing season," and they should be growing very quickly and steadily until they're about 10 years old. Alligators should grow rapidly for the first five years - at about a foot a year - and a healthy 10-year-old should be about 8 feet long. Growth slows significantly after that, but they'll continue growing their entire lives, reaching a typical length of about 13 feet.

If I had to guess, that alligator was severely stunted. I'd expect an alligator that size to be about five years old, not 40. The stunting was probably caused by improper conditions or too-small enclosures - alligators just aren't good pets, and the vast majority of people aren't equipped to provide what they need. I can say with 100% certainty that this alligator's needs sadly are not being met.

Here's the typical growth of an American alligator, which I'm assuming the one you saw was:

As for the snakes - if those were just their enclosures for the day, it's not terrible. Smaller enclosures can help a snake feel safer if you're taking them to a fair or reptile show - as long as those aren't the permanent enclosures, it's fine.

[primussavethesemechs]

So fun thing I just looked up- alligator snapping turtles grow up to 2 feet in shell length (and they grow very slowly), in comparison to red ear sliders which hit 1 foot, male soft shells that get to 10 inches, and box turtles that get to 7 inches.

What does all this suggest? Raph is going to continue to slowly get bigger as he ages 💀 he’ll eventually easily be twice the height of Leo and Donnie just by standing up, and Mikey will look like a baby next to him.

This also suggests that Leo is due for a very slight height advantage over Donnie and will become the alpha twin, and Mikey will remain the tiniest brother.

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of also looking up how long they all live in captivity

Alligator snapping turtle- up to 70 yrs

Red eared slider- up to 50 yrs

Spiny Soft shell- up to 50 yrs

Ornate box turtle- up to 40 yrs

Barring unforeseen tragic accidents, Raph could outlive Mikey by a pretty significant amount, and also outlive Donnie and Leo ☹️

Edit: btw I’m not actually suggesting they only live as long as their species counterparts, their mutation + Lou’s dna definitely increased their lifespan, but I am suggesting their lifespans might be proportional to each other, which means raph will live a long, LONG life and his brothers might live closer to a regular-ish human lifespan, with Mikey passing when he’s on the lower end of middle aged

[doomedandstoned]

UK’s FROGLORD Delivers Visual Spectacle for Kaleidoscopic New EP

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

Artwork by Shane Horror

All Hail the Mighty FROGLORD! We've covered previous releases by the band and featured them in our Doomed & Stoned in England Vol. II compilation. Suffice it to say, we're believers!

Now the mysterious UK project is back with a new EP, and today Doomed & Stoned is giving you a first look 'n' listen with the music video premiere. LBTF((((or))))DBTS (2024), e.g. Live By The Fuzz or Die By The Slime is a three-track work where ominous tones mesh with tongue-in-cheek humor.

So, the gods decree, spoken unto thee Play it low and slow don't rush, live by the fuzz!

Our trip to the swamp begins with psychedelic blues rising like vapors in the warming sunlight. Welcome to "Live By The Fuzz," where guitars pulse like ripples on the water and we hear the sound of the hurdy-gurdy with mysterious Near-Eastern groans. You might be reminded of OM or Zaum in the first two minutes (and that's a good thing), but no worries if you're seeking a headbaning moment because it's coming with the all crash of an alligator jumping out of the bog to snag a heedless crane (at 2:38). Later, a blast beat and ferocious throaty voices take us to the edge of sanity -- or, if you're ready for it, enlightenment.

Cleanse yourself from pain, numb away the fear Hiding from impermanent endings growing near

Middle track "((((or))))" ushers us into the haze of the sun as the day dawns, and this time we're in ancient desert places and there's the addition of enchanting female vocalizations, pedal effects, and what sounds like the didgeridoo. Acolytes of the Froglord recite their purpose in hushed, drugged tones. Then the power of this mysterious force bursts forth with wild drums and intimidating roars (at 10:35). The song at last returns to those chill opening moments, taking us all the way to sundown.

In the swamp where darkness dwells A figure emerges, casting spells Creature arise, a presence so grand Deity of doom of this cursed land

Closing doomer "Die By The Slime" begins by asking Why do the living disturb the sleep of the dead? Indeed, why would one awaken such a fearsome creature of Old? It's a slow 'n' low ride, with boisterous outbursts of percussion, guttural singing, stinging guitar licks, damning riffage, and a cultish chorus. Strange rituals are afoot, and one imagines this gathering turning into a very messy bacchanal before long.

Meanwhile, the visual accompaniment is at various junctures meditative and disturbing, with trippy mirror effects and a veritable collage of hypnotic imagery. Hints of frogs (or tadpoles) lie around every corner. Maybe don't watch it on LSD!.

Froglord's 'Live By The Fuzz or Die By The Slime' (2024) to release this weekend, March 9th, on CD and cassette (get it here), as well as digital format (here).

Give ear...

SOME BUZZ

Since the dawn of time, mystics have long prophesied the coming of an ancient amphibian bestowed with death ray vision and ectoplasmic slime. Emerging from deep within The Mystic Swamp, Froglord arise bringing their unique blend of stoner groove and psychedelic doom. With face melting fuzz and foot stomping grooves, Froglord’s reign of amphibious terror shall begin.

Having released four full length albums in the last three years, Froglord returns once more. This time with a shorter three track EP, 'Live By The Fuzz or Die By The Slime.' Adopting a distinctly more blackened-psychedelic-doom sound for this release, Froglord once again showcase their ability to blend genres across their already vast discography.

Previously, Froglord records have been entirely recorded and produced as a one-person operation, however this EP sees collaboration with other artists, to bring in haunting cello and vocal acapella arrangements. 'Live By The Fuzz or Die By The Slime' is the perfect record for fans of Om, Conan, and Batushka.

Formed during the pandemic as a one-man project, Froglord released their first EP in 2020, followed soon after by their debut album. To date Froglord has built up an extensive library of releases, including, 4 albums, 3 Eps, 1 split, 1 live album, and 2 singles. In 2021 just after the release of The Mystic Toad, Froglord developed into a 4-piece band as live venues began to reopen. Since then, Froglord has quickly gained a reputation for their commanding and theatrical stage performances.

Whilst Froglord's sound leans primarily toward stoner doom, they have been characterised for their genre-bending sound, with each album taking on its own distinct style, taking strong influences from psychedelia, prog, sludge, grunge, groove and blues; to deliver the tale of The Froglord through a concept-based discography.

Currently, Froglord are set to release a single in the spring of 2024, written for the upcoming found footage horror film Frogman (dir. Anthony Cousins). As well as this original, the film also contains several older Froglord tracks.

Rooted also in environmentalism, Froglord has worked closely with Save The Frogs, the world’s largest amphibian-based conservation charity, raising over £2500 through "Save The Frogs" EP sales and campaigning, as well as £300 for the Human Dignity Trust.

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[thecreaturecodex]

Cuca

Image © J. Prenhacca Juneru, accessed at their ArtStation here

[One of the things I’m planning on doing with the World Tour theme is to have one hag per continent. The monster witch is a very common archetype, after all. This example is from Brazil, with a very convoluted pedigree. “Coco”, “cuca”, “cucuy”, etc, are all common names for bogeymen in Spanish and Portuguese. Tying the name cuca to an alligator-like hag was specifically the invention of Monteiro Lobato, an author who wrote a series of children’s books, Sitio do Picapau Amarelo. The cuca was an antagonist in only one of those books, but when they were adapted into TV, Cuca was promoted to a recurring antagonist, and the link between Cuca and Alligator was solidified. Also, she looks like this in the TV show:

The TV version of Cuca is something of a camp icon in Brazil, I’m led to believe.

Since Cuca is usually depicted at a cauldron or with potions, I decided to give my version alchemist abilities.]

Cuca CR 8 CE Monstrous Humanoid This creature is a humanoid alligator a head taller than a human, with luxurious hair. She clutches a wooden cane.

A cuca, or alligator hag, is a powerful creature of swamps and caves. They are universally malicious and have a taste for children, so are often used as bogeys and threats. A cuca is said to sleep only once every seven years, and so they have plenty of time to plot against the world of men and make their foul brews. Cucas are gifted alchemists, and often have plenty of poisons, potions and alchemical weapons on hand.

Cucas often travel abroad in disguise, using illusions to appear as a humanoid. They typically take a few rounds to prepare themselves with spells and extracts before they launch an attack, but most cucas have a short temper and can be goaded into foregoing such strategy. Cucas are gluttonous, and if they have an opportunity to snap up a Small opponent, will do so and swallow them whole. A cuca knows the advantage of a tactical retreat, but may lose themselves in the heat of battle.

Cucas live in flooded caverns, areas of swamp sectioned off by tall trees, and other such lairs. They require a dry place to set up their alchemical equipment, but typically sleep partially submerged. Their dwellings are often guarded by crocodiles and venomous snakes. A cuca is a consummate bully—she is cruel to her underlings and sycophantic to anyone obviously more powerful than her. A cuca is just as likely to cooperate with cruel fey as they are with other hags, and some actively avoid covens. A coven with at least one cuca member has access to the following spell-like abilities: animal shapes, greater magic fang.

Cuca      CR 8 XP 4,800 CE Medium monstrous humanoid Init +5; Senses child scent, darkvision 60 ft., Perception +10 Defense AC 19, touch 12, flat-footed 17 (+1 Dex, +1 dodge, +7 natural) hp 103 (9d10+54) Fort +8, Ref +7, Will +8 Immune sleep Offense Speed 30 ft., swim 40 ft. Melee club +13/+8 (1d6+6), bite +8 (1d8+2 plus grab), tail slap +8 (1d12+2) or bite +13 (1d8+4 plus grab), tail slap +8 (1d12+2) Extracts Prepared CL 8th 3rd—cure serious wounds (x2), heroism 2nd—barkskin, bull’s strength, fire breath (DC 15), lesser restoration, see invisibility 1st—comprehend languages, cure light wounds, expeditious retreat, identify, shield Special Attacks swallow whole (AC 13, 10 hp, 1d8+6 bludgeoning) Spell-like Abilities CL 9th, concentration +12 At will—detect magic, detect poison 3/day—doom (DC 14), shillelagh, veil (DC 19, self only) 1/day—animal growth, flesh to stone (DC 19), stone to flesh Statistics Str 19, Dex 12, Con 21, Int 16, Wis 10, Cha 17 Base Atk +9; CMB +13 (+17 grapple); CMD 25 Feats Brew Potion (B), Dodge, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Magical Aptitude, Toughness Skills Bluff +10, Craft (alchemy) +13, Disguise +10, Knowledge (arcana) +10, Perception +10, Spellcraft +12, Stealth +11, Swim +22, Use Magic Device +12 Languages Aklo, Common, Draconic, Sylvan SQ hold breath, reptile empathy +12 Ecology Environment warm swamps and underground Organization solitary, covey (3 mixed hags) or flotilla (1 plus 2-8 crocodiles) Treasure standard (club, formula book, other treasure) Special Abilities Child Scent (Ex) A cuca gains the scent special quality, except that she can only use it to detect juvenile humanoids or animals. Extracts (Su) A cuca gains the extract ability of an 8th level alchemist. She does not gain other class abilities of an alchemist, such as a mutagen or bombs. Reptile Empathy (Ex) A cuca gains wild empathy as a druid of her Hit Dice, except she can only use it to influence the attitudes of reptilian animals or magical beasts, such as crocodiles, snakes, lizards, turtles or dinosaurs.

[vomitdodger]

King.

Great video, interview and quotes.

[outtoshatter]

:D Tagged by @rosieposiepuddingnpie and @quietborderline thanks!

Rules: Share 10 facts about yourself and tag 10 other blogs! I want to get to know my mutuals, and the people I follow a little bit :) The facts can be about anything!

okay, here goes (it’s so hard to think of things about myself that are interesting LOL)

1. I write all my stories by hand first

2. I am ridiculously competitive but only about reallllly dumb things and usually only like “against” myself

3. My favorite color is yellow!!

4. I loooveeeee brown eyes. I have green eyes. I am envious of anyone with brown eyes, they’re all so beautiful and varied (dark! light! in between! deep and thoughtful and dreamy and!!!! ah!) and just know if you have brown eyes i’m just a tiny bit in love with you

5. My favorite comfort item as a kid was an almost two foot long hard plastic alligator that i took with me everywhere. Eventually mom threw it out because she stepped on it one too many times and snapped, then felt miserably guilty and bought me a soft rubber replacement. It was not the same.

6. My favorite book is the Night Circus! I have read it many times and i get sad i can’t go there. every.single.time. (Close second is In Other Lands!)

7.  I keep track of all my plotlines in a tiny notebook, along with world notes, motives for characters, their fears and desires, and any other tiny information I might need to work into a story!

8. My goal for the year is to write 300k words!

9. My favorite number is eight!

10. the very first story I ever wrote down was called the Rainbow that Stole the Leprechauns Gold and my teacher was concerned enough that the gold was never returned that she called my mom about it

OKAY that was difficult! SO idk if i can think of ten people to tag and play with no pressure!

@seik-o @yumelilo @spaceprincessem @ladiekatie @cephalog0d @ohhalefire @raisesomehale @midnightwinterhawk @halevetica @droppedstitches72

[joy-haver]

Being trans in the south right now is hard. There’s all these laws being passed and I feel powerless to stop them. I used to know more than a hundred other trans people in my city, and maybe 10 or 15 of them still live here. And of those, half are planning to leave soon. Everyone is fleeing.

Between covid and this, all the communities and support networks we had built are just gone. We used to have unofficial hrt exchanges, food sharing, and networks to keep each other from being homeless. Now we have nothing.

And they are all fleeing to places where things aren’t necessarily better, they are just different. They all go to California or the pacific north west, and they think it will be better, but the realize that the cost of living is 3x higher, and they don’t know anyone. Safety is a myth that we tell ourselves. “Oh if I just get to Cali I’ll be safe” -and then they end up homeless. “If I can just change my name I’ll be safe” and now their on a list. “If I can just pass better I’ll be safe” and the transphobes are more violent when they find out, because they feel tricked.

And I’m not blaming people. More just bemoaning the state of things. People are terrified. And they make decisions that quell their fear, whether that makes them safer or not.

But I wonder if we’re making the right choice.

In 50 years, what will someone looking back say? Will they say “good thing they got out, before the executions got common” or will they say “if they had stayed put, joined together, they could have fought this. They could have survived”

It feels like the choice is between staying and hoping the worst doesn’t happen, or leaving and hoping you don’t die of poverty. Either way, there’s no community.

And it’s just like. I can’t flee. My wife’s job is here, and I can’t work. But also, I don’t want to flee. I want to stay. I want to build community. I want to take care of each other. But it feels impossible to do that when everyone leaves. And the people who do stay always have one foot out the door.

And I’m from the south. I’m from these marshes and oak trees and pine savanna’s. I’m from the place with the alligators and the gar and the snakes. I’m from flat bottom boats and crawfish and small farms.

Am I supposed to leave for a place where the acorns are long and strange? Or one where the conifers hold the land? What would I even say to them?would I ever feel at peace?

On the srsly wrong podcast, they talked once about running and hiding. Living to fight another day being a revolutionary act. And…I just don’t know. Maybe. Maybe. But running feels like a death if a different kind.

Maybe I’m doing the same thing. Trying to justify my decision as the safe one. Or the more authentic one. Maybe we just feel fated towards one or the other, and we’ll say whatever we need to for it to feel right. Maybe we’re all just so terrified that we need some sort of story that tells us we’ll be safe.

With so many things, we talk about individual acts being of very little consequence. And with safety, I think that’s the case. But it just feels so hard to move beyond individual acts when everybody leaves.

[beardedmrbean]

Having an enormous, 10-foot alligator casually hanging out by an elementary school is not going to fly for pretty obvious reasons. So when this exact scenario recently occurred in, where else, Florida, a local MMA fighter took matters into his own hands.

Mike Dragich, a Marine Corps veteran who goes by the colorful nickname Blue Collar Brawler on social media, is also a licensed gator trapper. In other words, the man knew what he was doing when he wrangled the giant creature.

"I see how big the alligator was, and I was like, it's showtime," Dragich later told FOX 35 Orlando. "We just had to get the job done."

And as you can see in video that he posted to his Instagram account, below, the gator did not go down without a fight. After first attempting to drag it by its tail, Dragich eventually deployed a catch pole to tame the beast. But even then, the gator fought back with a couple of "death rolls," which a common name for the spinning maneuver alligators use to subdue and dismember their prey.

"I felt like Batman, for real," Dragich recalled. "If you don't get these animals tired, they will hurt you, if not kill you."

When asked what he thinks of people who say he's crazy for tangling with alligators the way he does, the 33-year-old gave a reasoned response: "I am Florida man, that's what I have to say to that."

Jokes aside, Dragich wants to use his notoriety to promote his non-profit organization, Project Savior Outdoors, which connects veterans to the great outdoors to fight PTSD and deaths by suicide.

"My heart goes to our veterans dealing with PTSD and the issue of veteran suicide," Dragich added. "It puts eyes on me, and I want to use that opportunity to get these veterans the help that they need."

[sixty-silver-wishes]

me: lol florida sucks

person from any other state: lol florida sucks

me:

LISTEN, YOU ICICLE. I WAS BORN FROM THE SWAMPS. MOLDED BY THEM. ORANGE JUICE RUNS THROUGH MY BLOOD. I GREET HURRICANE SEASON AS IF IT’S AN OLD FRIEND; YOU PROBABLY CAN’T LOOK A MEASLY 10-FOOT ALLIGATOR IN THE EYE WITHOUT PISSING YOURSELF WITH FEAR. YOU WOULD WITHER IN OUR SUMMERS, YE WHO CANNOT TELL A KING SNAKE FROM A CORAL SNAKE, NOR PROPERLY EXECUTE THE STINGRAY SHUFFLE. I AM ANCIENT. I AM POWERFUL. THE VOICES OF TEN THOUSAND FLORIDA MEN ARE SCREAMING IN MY SOUL.

[brightlotusmoon]

Content warning: animal in horrible condition

Designing the Bayverse leatherhead for my story has me so sad 😭 I have him as a 10 foot tall starved alligator (14 foot with tail) covered in scars and missing scales, and hard of sight (eyes damaged from an experiment). He also has chains looped through his muscle and flesh that used to hold him in his cell. HE MUST BE PROTECTED

OMG BABY

I I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. MY NEPHEW.