#30k followers celebrations!!

[satans-knitwear]

The celebrations begin ✨

This has been a long time request 🚿

Treat me ~ Tip me

[profoundbondfanfic]

An Exercise in 'Worthless'

An Exercise in 'Worthless' by glassedplanets Rating: Mature Word Count: 26.5k

"I mean, you’re–” He gestures at Cas, in his neat oxford shirt and nice pants. “–and I’m a high school dropout who tattoos for a living.” Wherein Dean makes a hefty living as a tattoo artist who owns the space next to Gabriel's cafe. Sam attends the local university. When Gabe's cousin comes to live with him while starting grad school at Sam's university, Dean thinks for sure that all his negative karma's coming to bite him in the ass because Cas clearly has a thing for Sam. No one would ever choose him over Sam. That's just logic.

This is it. This is the first Destiel fanfiction I can remember reading. As such, it would have ALWAYS had a special place in my heart, but this fic is made even more wonderful by the fact that it is a fascinating character study into Dean. As someone who mourns over Dean's criminally low sense of self-worth, it's always lovely to see him gain confidence, as well as an understanding of just how much he is loved by everyone around him.

Dean's crush on Cas is pretty obvious from the start, but Dean tries his best to deny it, mostly because he doesn't think that Cas could ever return his feelings. Cas is delightfully intelligent and awkward, but he's not shy by any stretch of the imagination. He's sarcastic with a dry wit, and you can absolutely see why Dean would fall head over heels for him.

This fic is told from Dean's point of view, and he is, at times, an unreliable narrator. He misinterprets situations and statements, mostly because he has such a low opinion of himself that he doesn't believe that anyone could ever choose him. Throughout this fic, Cas does his best to make Dean understand that not only is he a good person, but that he's also worthy of love, familial and otherwise.

I'm also always a fan of a tattoo shop AU, and this one is phenomenal. The descriptions of Dean and his work are exquisite and you can feel Dean's care and passion throughout every description of his shop.

Though it's not shown explicitly, Dean does describe his past with Alastair, where he was made to hurt people via tattooing them. This guilt forms the basis of a lot of Dean's self-loathing, but it also leads to the fic's climax, where Dean learns how to let the past go and forgive himself.

If you're looking for a great character study of Dean, and you also love watching this oblivious man get everything he doesn't think he deserves, I know you are going to love this fic! 💖

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

30k follower celebration for Hannibal Lecter please prompt 3 “I never thought I would see you again.”

.⋆｡Won’t Let Go Again｡⋆.

Hannibal Lecter x plus size reader

implied Hannigram x plus size reader

Moving to Baltimore was supposed to be a fresh start, to escape the ghosts of your past but a budding new friendship with an FBI profiler leads you back to the man who left you behind

Warnings: european!reader, DARK, usual Hannibal warnings (implied cannibalism, kidnapping, drugging, manipulation), childhood lovers, needles

WC: 1.2k

Minors DNI

Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library

Halloween Celebration

America confused you, everything was big and moved so quickly, you considered it a miracle that you didn’t constantly get lost. But it was such a beautiful place, especially Baltimore. The mixture of old and new architecture that lined the bay was so reminiscent of your old home but also gave you a whole new world to explore.

With a paper map in your hands, you wandered down a mostly empty street, your small heels clacking softly against the pavement. You were determined in your search for a new coffee shop to try out on your day off but so far, you have been unsuccessful. Head down and concentrated, you didn’t notice an equally distracted man walking straight in your direction.

You bowled into each other and you both fell down. You winced and the man yelped as you crashed onto the cold sidewalk. “Oh god! I am so sorry, I should’ve seen where I was going.” You apologised quickly, ignoring the way the skin of your knees burned with pain.

The man shook his head at you, causing his brown curls to tumble over his forehead. “No it’s my fault, sometimes I just wander and forget my surroundings.” He pulled himself to his feet and offered you a hand, although he would not meet your eyes.

“I suppose we are both at fault then.” You chuckled and allowed him to help you to your feet. Your long skirt fell back over your legs, concealing the small cuts on your knees. You took note of the way he made sure that you were all right before he appraised his own body for any injuries. 

He suddenly ducked down and grabbed something from a puddle on the side of the street, and when he popped back up with your now destroyed and waterlogged map, he smiled sheepishly at you. “How about I get us some coffee as a sorry for ruining your map?”

He finally met your gaze with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes you had ever seen. Then his stomach growled loudly and he looked away, pink dusting over his high cheekbones. “Then let me buy some sandwiches for us both.” You offered.

——————

Your friendship with Will Graham was like how you viewed the states, both nostalgic and brand new, filled with mystery and comfort. You learned quickly that he was not a very reliable friend given that he frequently disappeared into cases and his own mind but he was also an incredible friend when he was around.

He showed you all of Baltimore and taught you some tricks to navigating any city so you wouldn’t get lost. And now, he was inviting you to dinner- at his therapist’s house. 

“I would hardly call this romantic, Will.” His eyes flicked to you as he reached to ring the doorbell of the townhouse in front of you.

“I never said this was going to be romantic.” He snipped but he still squeezed your hand tightly.

You rolled your eyes playfully. “You said that you were taking me to dinner somewhere nice, I assumed it was a date.”

“You’re teasing me, I don’t like when you tease me.” He muttered but you could clearly see the way the corner of his lips turned upwards in a soft smile. 

Before you could retort that he did in fact love your teasing, the door opened and the breath was sucked from your lungs. “Hannibal.”

Amber eyes widened and the careful composure he possessed, fell away. “Mylimasis.” (Beloved) Your hand went limp in Will’s hold and suddenly your vision was blurry with tears.

“I-I have to go.” But your companion held tight, his own blue eyes staring at you with an apt fascination. You could see the way his brain was ticking over, analysing each and every part of you but you refused to give anything away. “Let me leave.” 

You tried to pull from his hold and instead you were pushed into another one. Hannibal was much stronger than you remembered and he easily pulled you into his home. Will followed close behind, shutting the door with a firm slam. You would later question why he so blindly obeyed Hannibal but in the moment, you were only focused on the way your heart was breaking all over again. 

His chest was firm beneath your touch as he tugged you fully into his arms. He was older, there was no doubt about that, but the longer you looked into those golden eyes you used to know so well, the more you saw of that boy who had stolen your very soul. “My mylimasis, I never thought I would see you again.” 

Your anger flared once more, setting your veins alight with a fire you thought you had extinguished long ago. “That tends to happen when you abandon someone.” He did not even flinch at your fight.

A large, warm hand cupped your full cheek as he gazed at you just the same as he had so many years ago- you wanted to punch that look off of his face. “Even more beautiful than I remember.”

Your eyes burned with unshed tears, memories unearthing from the deep graves in your mind you had buried them in.

The first time you saw him, you didn’t think he was real. He was so beautiful he had to have been some sort of fae. His regal features practically glowed in the spring sunlight as he smiled at you. You could never clearly remember what he said to you that day in the flower fields by your small home but you did remember the feeling of his words- love, comfort, warmth.

But the day he left, his touch only brought you pain. You could still feel the way that the gravel sliced into your palms as you fell at his feet, begging him not to leave. He promised you the world yet he took the world from you. His eyes were dark, his lips turned down in a vicious sneer.

No matter how hard you tried, you could not forget the expression of pure hatred and disgust he held on that day. 

“You know her?” Will finally spoke from behind you. Hannibal finally looked away from you and to his patient who still stood awkwardly right in front of the door. 

“She is my first love.” He answered simply as you scoffed under your breath. “It seems fate brought my two loves to each other and then to me.” 

Your eyes went wide. “Let me go!” You thrashed violently but his grip never faltered. “You’re fucking crazy!” Hannibal never even acknowledged your struggle, instead nodding over your head towards his lover.

So caught up in your struggle, you didn’t hear the opening and subsequent shutting of a drawer before the heat of Will’s body drew closer and his breath tickled the back of your neck. “Don’t fight it, it will only make this worse.” His voice sounded cold and so unlike the man who would call you in the middle of the night to talk about a new stray dog he rescued.

You tried to turn your head but Hannibal firmly gripped your jaw, keeping you still. There was a pinch in your neck then warmth suddenly flooded through you. “Fuck you.” Even as your words slurred, the malice in your tone didn’t escape either man.

“Just close your eyes mylimasis, we will never let you go ever again.” The darkness swallowed you whole.

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[starcrossedimps]

Celebrating @meandtheyeehaws reaching 30k on Twitter with fanart of the "Who Framed Fizzarolli" au, which is SO fun. If you aren't following already, you so should.

Red more for ref.

Pic based on this snap from the film

[oakiyo]

Daisy Collection:

In celebration of hitting 30k followers, my birthday month, and finishing my first year of University, I bring you a spring/summer themed collection featuring 8 new custom content pieces! ☀️🌼

More information about each item is under the cut.

Download Here (free) | Patreon | Twitter

Item Information:

1. Annalise Hair:

Base game compatible, 24 EA swatches, all maps, all LOD’s, not hat compatible.

2. Perrie Hair:

Base game compatible, 24 EA swatches, all maps, all LOD’s, hat compatible.

Hairclip accessory found in hats category, comes in a custom palette.

3. Juliet Top:

Base game compatible, 25 swatches, all maps, all LOD’s.

20 swatches in a custom palette and 5 pattern swatches.

4. Olivia Top:

Base game compatible, 20 swatches, all maps, all LOD’s.

20 swatches in a custom palette.

5. Danielle Jeans:

Base game compatible, 21 swatches, all maps, all LOD’s.

21 swatches in @caelhinn Cotton Jar palette.

6. Helena Shorts:

Base game compatible, 21 swatches, all maps, all LOD’s.

21 swatches in @caelhinn​ Cotton Jar palette.

7. Sienna Dress:

Base game compatible, 25 swatches, all maps, all LOD’s.

20 swatches in a custom palette and 5 pattern swatches.

8. Sammy Earrings:

Base game compatible, 20 swatches, specular map, all LOD’s.

Swatches come in @caelhinn Porcelain Gleam.

Credits and End Bits:

Please report any issues with these custom content items via Tumblr DM’s, providing a picture with the issue.

Credits to @qicc for the continued support and help with my custom content.

A massive thank you to @ratboysims for making the pose in the main preview!

I hope you like this collection, it took me a long while to get finished but I am so happy with its quality and cannot wait to expand my skills and make even more clothing. Send me / tag me in any photos if you use the collection, I’d love to see :)

[pablitogavii]

heyyy, i love your works and i was wondering if you could do one where after the final croatia-spain gavi comes home to the reader angry and frustrated because when he was speaking the fans started insulting him/barca/his mom, the reader has calmed him down / reassured him and tell him that he did the best thing ignoring them after she does a live and in the comments the insults continue, at this point she gets angry and like defends him or in any case makes it clear that it is not a right / normal thing

take your time, thanks in advance if u do it <3

My Angry Bird

You were sitting on the stands near the benches of the players with your VIP pass as one of Gavi's family members hearing everyone yell "P*** Barça" as your boyfriend walked out of the pitch.

You saw from his face that he heard it, looking sad and disappointed but still choosing to ignore them instead of reacting like he often does. You were very proud that he had matured quite a bit during this season and didn't let their words pull him into a problem.

You were escorted to the pitch as Pablo walked towards you having plastic bottles and trash thrown at him from the stands paired with the constant insults. The worst part is that it came from the Spanish fans. I hugged him tightly while he hid his face into my neck away from the hateful fans from the stands.

"You should go home, amor.." he said sadly not wanting things thrown at you as well because he was near you and you gave him a sad look holding his face and pressing your lips to his.

"You won and nobody can take that away from you mi vida" you say and he gave you a weak smile kissing your lips once more before helping you walk towards the tunnel followed by boos and angry screams.

"Gavi, Hijo de Puta!!" they screamed and you felt Pablo tighten his fists but you took them in your hands placing them around your waist instead. Pablo loved his mom so much and to hear them insult her like that was certainly crossing the line.

"Bet I can have your girl Gavi!" some fan said and I felt Pablo try to move towards him but I stopped him turning my head to the side.

"No you can't gilipollas!" I said while snaking Pablo's arms around my waist and hugging him tightly as he sighed heavily.

"Go celebrate with your friends, and I will see you at home mi amor" you said and he nodded kissing your lips before leaving back to the pitch away from the booing insults.

When he came home, you were already in your pajamas watching Friends on TV while snacking on come ice cream.

“Welcome home, cariño” you said and he just plopped on the bed besides you laying in your arms and resting his face into your neck.

You moved the ice cream to the side, pausing the episode and starting to play with his hair gently.

“It’s one thing to be disrespectful to my club but insulting my mom and you…I just can’t take it anymore amor” he finally spoke tears falling down his face and I kissed his nose smiling sweetly.

“You had such an amazing season amor. You won LaLiga and Nationals. You put in the work and you deserve it all mi vida. Those people hate that you still succeeded despite everything..and I was so proud you didn’t let them provoke you” you said while he listened to you with big eyes and pity face that looked just too adorable.

“I was so close to punching his stupid face when he said he could have you!” He said frustrated and you smiled nodding your head knowing how protective he gets.

“But you didn’t because you know you are the only one who can have me amor” you said and he smiled nodding his head and leaving wet kisses on your neck.

“I promised you an interview if we win..so let’s do it on live?” He said and you asked him whether he is sure he is up for it and nodded his head giving you your phone to start the live.

The moment you turned it on there was already 30k viewers asking questions and leaving comments for the two of you to read.

“How does it feel to win your first national title?”you read one of the comments and he smiled laying his head in your shoulder and saying how

exciting it was to lift that trophy.

“Who is your role model?” You ask next and he thinks for a few moments before saying a few good words about Xavi and his influence.

Then comments “p*** Barça” started again and you felt Pablo sigh in annoyance so you decided to do something about it.

“Players have such respect for each other no matter the team they play for, they are professionals so fans should also act like that too! There should be no hate in sports, competition exists for the best team to win but hatred has no place here!” you spoke while Pablo looked at you in awe smiling when you looked down at his adorable face.

“Her protecting him is so sweet!!” Pablo read the next comment before smiling and kissing your blushing cheeks this time him not being the one who let people get to him.

“Nobody can touch me when I hide behind my 5’4’’ warrior queen!” He said chuckling while you blushed telling him “callate!” Before reading some more questions for him to answer.

After some time, you saw him yawn knowing that he must be exhausted so you did one last question before turning the live off.

“I love you, did you know that?” He said still rested in my arms and I smile nodding my head.

“Yes, I do know that…and I love you too. Let’s go to bed cariño” you said and he smiled groaning and asking you to carry him obvioisly teasing you.

“You are my baby but you are also twice my size and with all those muscles!!” I said and he chuckled pulling me down and getting on top of me with a smirk on his handsome face. Little devil!

“Mmm you like all these muscles, don’t you princesita” he said and you blushed nodding your head while touching his flexed bicep.

It ended up with him carrying you to bed instead and getting some well deserved reward ;))

[drarryspecificrecs]

2023.12 ~ Top 5 longest fics posted on AO3

1. The Man Who Forgot by @slightweasel [E, 250k]

►After ten years of marriage, Harry forgets. The more things change, the more Draco Malfoy is still up to something.

2. Conjuring Cupid by @sugarplum-senpai [M, 89k]

►Two decades after Hogwarts, Harry's toy shop is ready for the busiest season of the year. Bolstered with an ever-growing work list, plenty of tea, and a sentient puppet always looking for mischief, his life is full. Still, at the end of the day, he’s lonely, and as the boy who lived his search looking for a match is disastrous. When his friends register him for an anonymous dating service, he’s unconvinced. Then again, maybe not knowing each other’s faces right away might just give him everything he’s longing for.

3. City of Quartz by ladygoodman [M, 57k]

►[...] It's 2012, and the granddaughter of Celestina Warbeck is pronounced dead at her home in Los Angeles. Auror Harry Potter finds the case file a little too familiar with other celebrity deaths cropping up all over the UK. The Dark Mark is making an appearance on young witches and wizards as well. There are only a few former Death Eaters who haven't been locked away in Azkaban, and Draco Malfoy is one of them. On that suspicion, Harry follows his tracks all the way to sunny Los Angeles, where he's faced with an entirely new caliber of celebrity culture. Who is Caelum West? How is he mixed in with all of this? And why does he look exactly like Draco Malfoy?

4. Nervous? by @invisible-nerd-girl [T, 46k]

►Harry gets drunk at a party, only to remember a game he over heard muggles talking about. He ends up playing with Draco who doesn't back down. Much to his surprise, it doesn't end there.

5. If I win, lose, or draw, there’s a winner in us all by MystMelody [E, 41k]

►Sixteen years ago, Harry and his England team suffered World Cup heartbreak following an agonisingly close loss at the hands of a single, incorrect umpiring decision. Many years and two World Cup victories later, and Harry is (mostly) sure that he has moved on. As Harry’s final tournament before retirement looms, he is confident that his team have what it takes to lift the trophy a third time - no matter what anyone else might say. Especially Malfoy, who has reinvented himself as a successful Quidditch reporter and seems determined to write as many awful things about the team as possible. [...]

—

※ Word count: 1k ~ 15k

※ Word count: 15k ~ 40k

The Lost Boy by @youhavemyswordandmybow [M, 17k]

Dark Artistry by @sightedkarma [E, 26k]

The infallibility of unicorn hair by mindor [E, 18k]

Just Exist by Kendra_Storm [T, 32k]

More than a Legend by @romaine2424 [M, 17k]

New Beginnings Taste Sweet (Daffodils) by corazon_san [T, 18k]

O Come, All Ye Faithful by toomuchplor [E, 19k]

Secrets Undone (the Lightning Order) by @xx-thedarklord-xx [M, 39k]

Spoils of War by instead_of_sleeping [E, 30k]

What happened at Christmases by ProseMary [?, 15k]

You're Scrooged, Draco Malfoy by @fencer-x [M, 27k]

—

Ongoing Fest/Exchange

※ Fics would be listed elsewhere.

25 Days of Draco and Harry 2023 | @slythindor100

Frottage Cottage FFF

H/D Erised 2023 | @hd-erised

Harry/Draco Owlpost 2023 | @hdowlpost

Wheel of Drarry Mini-Exchange Secret Santa 2023 | @drarrymicrofic

Dark Festivus Gift Exchange 2023 | @harrypotterfesthub

Fanatical Fam Fic Exchange 2023

HP Festival of Stars 2023 | @hpfestofstars

HP Soulmates Secret Santa 2023 | @hp-soulmates-secret-santa

HP Yuletide Bliss 2023 | @hp-yuletide-bliss​

Yuletide and Mulled Wine Fest 2023 | @yuletide-and-mulled-wine

2023 Harry Potter Trans Comfort Fest | @magicaltrans

[bakapandy]

I reached 30K followers on instagram so I made this for a Draw This In Your Style even to celebrate over there. The theme is “Shikadai timeslip arc where he ends up around the time his parents first met” 

Go check out my instagram post if you wanna participate!!!

[eruhamster]

james somerton apparently left a suicide note on some social media of his and hasnt been heard from and twitter has been trending about it all day because the conversation seems caught between 'oh well we hope he didnt commit suicide but no one is at fault for that' and 'hbomb is a woke devil and killed this guy. i only care because i hate hbomb' and like

it's legitimately so fascinating how hard it is for people to see any sort of middle-ground. that a guy making huge amounts of money, over $30k/mo on patreon, to create hours-long, snarky videos exposing people for their actions, who clearly knows these videos are done in a way that they incite a harassment campaign every time... and who continued to bring somerton up on twitter ... might be at least partially culpable if it turns out somerton did commit suicide.

obviously somerton needed to be deplatformed, obviously his plagiarism needed to be exposed, but hbomb's videos like the plagiarism video essentially function as the new Content Cop and go out of their way to incite harassment and hatred of the person for their actions, rather than only bringing the actions to light. these videos of his are so long because they hammer home "look how bad a person this person is! don't you hate him? look at each and every shitty thing he did! isn't he so shitty?!" - the plagiarism video specifically being long because it did that on top of going "and look at this even SHITTIER guy!" multiple times until you reached the final 'most shitty guy' of james somerton.

and it even struck me back then how malicious that video was when i couldn't make it past the internet historian part, because he began that section by saying how he personally doesn't like the guy, and then went on to compare entire paragraphs of text that were nothing alike, and 'expose' this guy for what really amounts to a minor citation issue that was dealt with privately and reuploaded without an issue - he was exposing a guy for 'plagiarism' that was already handled and removed, because he didn't like him. and then went on to go and push on to expose an entirely different guy as 'even shittier!!!' - you can't so recklessly be making malicious videos like that and not be criticized for being the cause of a mental health crisis.

it is very fascinating to me that no one really wants to think about what everyone on the internet hating you can do to a person. but maybe that'd mean people would have to think about their role in somerton's death (if he did die, that is), and that's not a can of worms a lot of people are interested in unpacking.

it's really reminiscent to me of celebrity journalism of the 2000s. stuff like TMZ, tabloids, paparazzi are all understood today as having caused many mental health crises in their time. the digital version of it, youtube 'journalists' and the following commentary youtubers and twitter dogpiles can just as easily cause that same issue. this should not be controversial to say. it's common sense.

[bangtanfancamp]

Oh Christmas Tree | KNJ

∴ summary: you’re looking for a fresh start and a Christmas tree when you unintentionally stumble across the worlds most attractive dimples and the sweet, gigantic, bumbling man attached to them

Alt: Namjoon + a Christmas tree farm + his best friend’s girlfriend’s little sister = the best Yuletide he never saw coming

∴ masterlist

∴ part of the breakfast with bangtan series

∴ pairing: Kim Namjoon x female reader, guest appearances by cultivating a life with you Hoseok x his y/n

∴word count: 10.8k

∴ rating: mature, 18+

∴genre: fluff, strangers to lovers. slice of life, Christmas romance

∴warnings: flirting, woke adjacent Christmas tree banter? sexual tension, joon is a big man (we all know this), a few subtle pov shifts- but only at already marked breaks in the story beats (should be easy to follow. Hopefully), subtle daddy kink, joonie has big boobies and he likes boobies, what was meant to be really soft smut that got a little out of hand honestly

∴author’s note: This started as a little scribble in March of 2021 that only involved the scene of y/n and Namjoon bantering about Christmas trees. I’ve been neck deep in 30k+ monster fic drafts for months and I just wanted to write something quick & fluffy so here we are. This y/n is the sister Hoseok’s girlfriend visits in cultivating a life with you. The stories are totally independent of each other but technically- chronologically- this takes place two winters later. Not meant to be hallmark movie related. I honestly just love the idea of Namjoon in one of his tiny little beanies getting tongue tied in the snow while surrounded by Christmas trees. Enjoy! Please let me know if you like it, if you like :) also… this is not proofread yet. I stayed up all night writing this and didn’t sleep. So I’m gonna leave this here, crash, and come back later to edit and add my copious italics, as I do.

───────────────────────

“My gosh, are these Christmas trees in outer space?”

You’d spent the last hour and a half being squashed in the backseat of your sister’s Mini Cooper. Your knees were beginning to ache.

“Oh don’t be a grinch, silly. We’re almost there,” your sister twisted to smile back at you from her spot in the passenger seat.

Her pink mittened hand was happily resting on her boyfriend Hoseok’s slim thigh. He reached down to tap out the rhythm to “walking in a winter wonderland” across the back of her knuckles as she beamed back at you, and you felt a little bit of your irritation melt away. It was nice to see her so happy. They were sweet to each other. It was lovely for them, but it wouldn’t help straighten out the kink in your back.

Who takes a coupe to pick up a live Christmas tree?

Hoseok caught your eye in the rear view mirror and smiled in apology as you shifted. He was as nice as your sister, just as keen to accommodate, and as soft for her as you were, if not more. His car was in the shop and yours hadn’t arrived yet. You’d driven a u-haul here from three states away a week and a half ago, settling down to take root during a holiday season best celebrated in an established home like the smart planner you were (not).

But for once, you didn’t care. Or at least, you were learning not to.

You’d spent too much of your life stuck in places you didn’t even want to be, taking life too seriously. Spent too many of the last few years feeling stagnant and like you were running out of time all at once. So when the opportunity arose, you took the first chance you got to move here. To be closer to your sister, to be somewhere where the air felt lighter, where you could be whoever you wanted to be.

And today, you wanted to be the owner of a live Christmas tree.

Give yourself something to smile at in your studio that currently consisted of bare stucco walls and aesthetic cardboard box piles.

When you’d mentioned it over the phone, your sister had known just the place.

“It’s the cutest little Christmas tree farm! Me and hobi get our tree there every year! They even have a hot cocoa stand up front for you to sip on while you pick your tree out. It’s owned by the sweetest family. One of our friends works there too. Oh you have to meet him!”

Your sister had gushed it all in one breath.

“Have to?”

“Absolutely. Not even a question. Get dressed! Me and hobi’ll pick you up in 10!”

That was that. You’d bundled up to the best of your ability, (Your wardrobe was not prepared for how chilly the winters got up here) and twenty minutes later, your sister and a blushing Hoseok were waiting for you in the parking lot in their jolly little holiday mobile.

Your sister had added reindeer antlers and a red nose to her Mini Cooper and jingle bells to the door handles. There was a set of white vinyl stickers with the silhouette of Santa’s sleigh and all nine reindeer plastered on the back window and a sprig of mistletoe-that she’d probably grown herself- twirling from the rear view mirror. Somehow she’d even gotten the horn to match the melody of “we wish you a merry Christmas.”

You’d have to ask how later.

The ride ended up being cozy enough. Now you were just eager to get out and get the feeling back in your toes. Hoseok tipped the driver's side seat forward for you to crawl out from the back. The second the icy wind slapped against your cheek you wondered why you thought going out in the cold would bring any sort of circulation back to your toes. You rolled your eyes at yourself and chuckled when you caught sight of the purplish tinge along Hoseok’s throat peeking out just over the edge of his chunky crocheted scarf. (Your sister probably made it for him. And now he was using it to hide her hickies. The little hoe.)

He felt your stare and blushed, his wide animated eyes becoming sheepish as he yanked his scarf up just the littlest bit higher.

So that was why that ten minute pickup time had stretched into twenty.

Good for the both of you.

Soon, the three of you were wandering through the farm. There was a section of freshly cut trees ready to take home near the front but rows and rows of trees still rooted to the ground off into the horizon, all dusted with this week’s newest burst of powdery snow. It was a magical thing to see really.

Your sister was happily tucked into Hoseok’s lithe side, one arm looped through his, the other hand cradling a hot cup of cocoa with a candy cane poking out of the lid. Nothing if not festive. You’d opted to save your cup for later. You liked the brisk air, and you liked both your hands being deeply plunged in the warmth of your fleece lined pockets.

“Cell reception is shit up here.” Hoseok piped up. “I tried to text Namjoon to see if he was working today but all I got back was the green text bubble of death.”

“Boo, Joonie’s the worst at charging his phone too. It’s probably dead,” your sister giggled.

“Guess I’m never gonna meet your jolly green giant, Hobes,” you bumped his elbow with yours.

“With the brain of archibald asparagus,” your sister added.

“Sexy brain, that man has,” Hoseok sighed with envy.

“Your brain is sexy too, babe.” Your sister tipped up on her toes to kiss Hoseok’s wind-chapped cheek.

“Not as sexy as his,” Hoseok nodded resolutely.

“Oh, what about when he wears his little wire rimmed professor glasses?”

“Too hot. He’d melt the snow,” Hoseok swooned.

“Goodness, are you in love with my sister or him?” You teased.

“Both,” Hoseok admitted, a little too sincerely, clutching at his heart over his oversized parka.

“I don’t blame him,” your sister nodded sagely. You quirked a brow at her and she simply shrugged, all innocence, zero guilt. “What? Don’t look at me like that. Trust me, it’ll make sense when you see him.”

“If I ever see him. I’m pretty sure he’s a myth.” Your skepticism came out with a snort and an opaque puff of air.

Geeze, it’s cold.

────────────────────────

At some point in the wandering, you got distracted watching a small child drag their parent by the wrist to the tree of their dreams. The scene was so wholesome and sweet. The little girl squealed with delight as a pair of squirrels skittered past them in chase, twining their way up her tree and darting down and away, ruffling soft powdery snow loose from the tree’s needles in their wake like a fairy sprinkling pixie dust.

The whole interaction was so idyllic that you’d stopped paying attention to where you were going and plowed directly into the broad back of what you were sure must be a bear. What else could it be? No man’s back was that broad, that’s for sure.

The force of it knocked you flat back on your bum, leaving you dazed in a little pile of crunchy snow and loose pine needles.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!”

The words came too fast, too rushed, and at sure as hell too deep of an octave to come from anyone you knew, man or bear included.

There was a massive olive green, gloved hand shoved in your face- apparently attached to whoever was apologizing so profusely. You grabbed on and let it hoist you up. Goddamn, whoever this was was strong. After flying backward just a few seconds ago, you were now flying forward, toppling directly into what seemed to be just as equally broad a chest as the back you had crashed into moments ago.

“Are you alright? I can’t believe I did that. Are you o-“

The rambling ocean wave of a voice stopped crashing over you the second you looked up and locked eyes with what you were sure was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen in person.

“Holy shit,” you muttered under your breath.

The man’s full lips seemed to gape as he looked at you.

Not necessarily in an objectionable way. It was more like, the tape in his brain had spun off the track and tangled itself up like an old cassette that needed help being wound back up again. It was like his thoughts were written all over his face. If you knew him better, you could have read them like a novel. For now, you knew one thing.

He was pretty when he was thinking.

Hell, he was pretty, period.

And two, he was solid as an ox.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Mr Yun’s gonna kill me if you’re hurt. I should have been paying more attention.” He patted down the sides of your ribs and torso like he was half expecting a bone to be jutting out.

“I’m okay. I’m good. i-“ am still holding his pecs, you realized.

What a Christmas miracle they were. Geeze. He had better boobs than you. You swallowed once then smiled up at him. “Do you, by any chance, work here?”

He blinked at you. There was snow on his eyelashes. His tiny dark green beanie wasn’t doing any good at shielding his face from the snow, but god did the color look good next to his golden skin.

“Um, yes, actually. I do. Again, I’m so sorry that I-“

“Shush, enough of that. You’re going to help me pick my tree.”

“I am?”

It was his turn to swallow.

“I mean, yes. Of course I am. Can. What are you looking for?”

He was nervous. So visibly nervous. You weren’t sure if it was because of you or if it was just his general disposition. Either way, you were hopelessly endeared by it. Pretty, bumbly, abominable snowman of a man. With great tits.

“Well, I came here in a Mini Cooper, so… whatever will fit on top of that, I guess.”

He blinked again, before he smiled- wide and gracious. His eyes crinkled at the edges and Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

His dimples.

How obscene.

“Sounds like a great place to start, to me.” He laughed for the first time. It was so boisterous and rich, you were sure he’d cause an avalanche.

The sound was as deep as winter, but soothing and warm. You already wanted to hear it again.

Oh boy. You really liked this one.

────────────────────────

“So what technically constitutes ‘ethically sourced’ when it comes to Christmas trees?” You looked wide-eyed up at Namjoon.

“Um… you know I… well, usually I-I would know the answer to that.”

“But right now, you don’t?”

“I mean, I can’t say that I do.” He shrugged ruefully.

“Despite currently being employed on a Christmas tree lot?” You arched a brow at him, a wry smile pulling at your lips.

“That does seem to be the case, yes.” His brows pinched at his own glum response.

“Are you new?” Mirth glittered in your eyes as you watched him.

“No, actually, I’ve been helping Mr. Yun since college… senior year of high school technically, actually.” Namjoon looked a bit lost in space as he wracked his brain for his qualifications.

“So you should have seniority around here?”

“Sort of ? It’s just , you know, mr. yun is a friend of my parents and he’s always been good to me so I always try to return the favor and help out every year, if I can.” He swallowed.

He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. He literally talked to people for a living. He could sell a polar bear ice, for Pete’s sake. But every time he made eye contact with you, he was practically on the verge of forgetting his own name so this whole witty repartee thing was an absolute struggle in ways it absolutely should not be.

“Well, he’s very lucky to have you then. Even if you can’t tell me where this tree came from.” You chuckled.

“No, I that- that I can do. All our Douglas firs come from grey farms about two hours north of here. Again, super kind family. They’ve been doing this for generations, actually.”

He found himself affectionately gripping the top of the tree while you smiled up at him like you had a secret and he felt a new rush of sweat rise beneath the fold of his beanie.

“So locally sourced then.”

“Family owned.” He nodded.

“Well now, that’s a great start. You know more than you let on.” You tapped an index finger into the down of his puffy coat and he felt himself flush, wishing he actually could have felt that touch.

Every part of him felt like he was back in middle school right now. It had been ages since something this simple was this difficult for him. Trying to figure out how not to trip over his words while maintaining eye contact with the you and your the luminous smile really wasn’t working at all. He should have been better at this by now, he sighed. His thirteen year old self would have been ashamed to see how little progress he’d made in that department in a decade and a half.

“So, should I choose to re-home this lovely tree, do you know of anyone who could, say, strap it to the roof of my car for me?”

Your eyes were twinkling, face framed by the softly falling snow flurries that had started up again and Namjoon felt himself swallow.

“I- I would be happy to find-“

“There you are! Finally found you- Oh, hey bro! So you are working today!” A voice bright like tangy sweet lemonade interrupted Namjoon’s inelegant struggle.

“Hoseok?” Namjoon looked mystified at the pair of you as Hoseok clasped a mittened hand around your shoulder. “How do you two-“

“This is my girl’s sister, y/n, remember? I told you we were helping her move in last week.” He explained with a happy shrug.

“This is… you’re… wow. Hey. Nice to officially meet you.” Namjoon released the tree to dizzily shake your hand, trying his best to ignore your amusement at his manic behavior.

“So you’re the mysterious friend who was too busy to help with the u-haul unloading, huh?” You quirked a brow up at Namjoon. He looked a bit green around the gills as his snow frosted lashes fell away from your gaze.

“We were slammed here that day. If it makes you feel any better, I got so much pine sap all over me that I had to toss my favorite gloves away.”

“Tsk. Now why would that make me feel better?” You teased as something mischievous glinted in your eyes.

“Because my shitty friend status made me suffer?” Namjoon shrugged.

“Well, we weren’t friends yet,” you grinned. “But now that we are, I think it’s only right that you should come over when you’re off to help the three of us decorate my new locally sourced, freshly cut Christmas tree”

“Oh absolutely!“ Hoseok piped in. “You haven’t hung out in weeks- you have to come.”

His endearing smile beamed bright across his face in a way that was impossible to fight. Bright red bits of hair peaked out beneath his beanie as he grinned widely up at Namjoon, and Namjoon was too distracted by his openness to process his nerves at the invitation.

“I mean, I guess I… I mean I wouldn’t want to intrude on…”

“Nonsense,” Hoseok interrupted,” you’d only be making the party better! Y/n needs all the friends she can get anyway. Poor thing’s stuck hanging out with us all the time- she could use a few new faces in the rotation, right little sis?” He hip checked you, ruffling your hair with the hand slung over your shoulder.

“Not your little sis yet,” you countered, eyes full of challenge.

“Wait, Hobi, this Christmas are you gonna…” Namjoon twisted his left hand, the gesture caught vaguely somewhere between the Queens wave and the single ladies dance.

Hoseok pulled a nervous face, brows lifting and jaw tightening until his smile bared all his teeth, as he patted the chest of his puffer coat.

“I’ve been carrying it around for weeks actually. Can’t seem to find the right time.”

“Are you insane?” You swatted him. “You brought it with you here? What if you lose it in the snow, you dummy?!”

“Ow!” Hoseok rubbed his shoulder dramatically. “The little ones are always fighters.”

You rolled your eyes as Namjoon blushed for reasons beyond him. Maybe he didn’t need any more explanation than the fact that you were cute as hell and he liked seeing you laugh.

“Your sister would never hit me like that,” Hoseok huffed.

“Yeah, she doesn’t have to because she knows I’d do it for her. Now why on gods green earth is the ring just chilling in your pocket while you stroll through endless yards of nature??”

“I keep it with me in case there’s a moment that just feels right. I’ll already be ready, you know.”

Hoseok’s face was far away, dreamy.

Namjoon was happy for him, even if he wanted a little piece of his friend’s wonder for himself one day.

“I still think you should propose to her at home in your little jungle. You have to know how happy that would make her,” you asserted.

Namjoon thought back to his last visit to Hoseok’s apartment. The walls had almost been alive with the amount of trailing vines climbing toward the ceiling. It was otherworldly, serene, like an indoor garden. It would be a spectacular place to propose actually.

“I think she’s right. It would be pretty damn perfect, Hob.” Namjoon offered.

“Ooo, did you hear that?” Slipping out from under Hoseok’s slinky arm, you attached yourself to Namjoon’s bulky one. “He already knows I’m always right. The company you keep, Hobi. I like this one.”

You squeezed Namjoon’s bicep, and he swore he could feel the warmth of your touch through his puffer jacket. He knew his cheeks had to match Hoseok’s fire engine hair now.

“Hey, be sweet to him. He’s sensitive,” Hoseok tutted as he pinched Namjoon’s rosy face despite being swatted away by one Namjoon’s big hands.

“I… is this the tree you’re settled on y/n? If it is, I should start getting it wrapped for you.”

“Hoist it on the beige Mini Cooper in the back, eh Hulk?” Hoseok patted his unoccupied bicep, giving it a happy squeeze as he pushed past Namjoon. “Im off to find where my poison Ivy wandered off to again. Probably somewhere talking to the cedars.” He shook his head softly but gosh, there was nothing but fondness in his happily crinkled eyes. “You two don’t get up to anything too wild while I’m gone now, yeah? We haven’t even brought out the baileys and the eggnog yet. Save it for later - or I’ll be the one kissing Joonie under the mistletoe.”

Hoseok wiggled his fingers and brows in puppety unison as he vanished through the trees, leaving Namjoon alone with you once again.

“He’s quite the character isn’t he?” You chuckled.

“You have no idea.”

“He’s good to my sister though. I’ve never seen her so happy.”

“They’re pretty made for each other,” Namjoon nodded in assent as you sighed.

It wasn’t until he looked down to catch your expression that he realized you were still holding onto his arm. Jesus Christ of Nazareth, was he going to faint in a Christmas tree lot?

You looked up then, a soft giggle bubbling out of you when you saw whatever his distress was doing to his face, and squeezed his arm before walking a few snowy paces ahead.

“Come on, tiger. The quicker we take care of this, the quicker we can get out of the cold.”

Namjoon had never followed anyone faster in his life.

────────────────────────

Why had the three of you come in a compact car?

This was pure delusion.

The tree Namjoon had helped you pick loomed over the front windshield like something from whoville. Good thing you weren’t the one driving. Good luck with that visibility, Hobi.

You and your sister stood side by side, linked at the elbow while the two men tied the tree down to the roof of the car.

“Think we’ll tip over in a strong breeze?” You queried.

“I think we’ll tip over if anyone even looks at us funny,” your sister giggled.

Her laughter was contagious and soon you were both cackling uncontrollably as Hoseok and Namjoon secured your dr Seuss tree to the roof of her car. Namjoon looked back over his shoulder, making accidental eye contact with you. You let your gaze rove over his absurdly pretty face, eyes lingering around the high corners of his cheekbones and the doughy imprints of those audaciously sweet dimples of his.

“My god, just look at him,” you sighed. “It’s like heaven tried to make focaccia bread when they made his face and decided to stop two pokes in because it was already perfect.”

Your sister looked between you and Namjoon, chuckling when the giant of a man turned away bashfully, as if those big shoulders could make him disappear.

“I told you he was pretty,” she shrugged. “And you gave me your judgy eyebrows.”

“I was a fool,” you sighed again. “In my defense, I didn’t know there could be boys prettier than Hobi around here.”

“Wait til you meet the children. Jimin and Jungkook are so beyond anything you could even comprehend. Beautiful little whores.”

“There’s more?” Your brows shot up high.

“Oh and Taehyung! Taehyung will charm you right out of your coat. He’s the dangerous one. I can’t even make eye contact with him without stammering,” she shook her head in derision.

“Whew boy, what a winter we’re in for.” You rocked up on your toes with a whistle.

“Winter is a mercy. Seokjin’s shoulders in summer? Glory be.”

Lovingly, you squeezed her tighter into your side. “At least we have Yoongi on our side.”

“Oh, no ma’am, we do not. He’s the worst one!”

“Min Yoongi ?” You gasped. “No!”

“Yes! He’ll sneak right up on you out of nowhere just when you think you’re finally friends and keep your glass full of wine all night until you accidentally spill all your most embarrassing high school secrets,” she muttered.

“No,…not the pyramid.”

“Yes, the pyramid. And he’ll get it on tape too. Adorable little bastard. Don’t let that cute little gummy smile fool you. He’s ruthless.”

You don’t think you’ve ever heard your big sister curse before.

The pout on her face was too priceless not to laugh at so you did. The laughter was robust and full- it came straight from somewhere deep in your belly and pretty soon she was laughing too, hiding her face in the faux fur collar of your coat. The two of you clinging to each other as you cackled like wild children in the snow.

────────────────────────

Hoseok looked over the roof at the two of you and melted into an inordinately affectionate grin.

“You could just go ask her now and put yourself out of your misery, you know,” Namjoon chuckled to himself.

“Nah, she’s so happy right now. I’ll let them have their moment.”

Namjoon let himself study you.

The two of you looked so much alike yet so different. Your sister was all spun sugar and sweetness, quick as a dragonfly on the breeze. But you, well, he didn’t quite know how to put it into words. You were still sweet, but it was different. There was something more rich, a bit more solid about your aura. If your sister was candy floss, then his best guess - based on his limited interaction with you- was that you were salted caramel.

The thought had him pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. He wanted to know what else made up the pieces of you. He wanted to get off this shift so he could be in the same room as you. So he could be alone with you.

He wanted to get you under the mistletoe and taste those pretty lips of yours.

But of course, that meant he had to have a coherent conversation with you first.

“Hey, quit undressing my baby sister with your eyes,” Hoseok snapped.

Namjoon shook his head, rattled the stars out of his eyes.

“My bad. Sorry, man.”

“I’ll let it slide this time,” Hoseok huffed. “Hey, I think I’m getting good at this protective big brother thing. That was pretty convincing right ?” He beamed proudly.

“More than you know… hey, we should be good here.”

Namjoon patted the now secure tree, rustling a bit of soft snow loose from its branches.

“Then it’s time to get this baby back on the road!”

Hoseok slapped the chassis and the car jingled— jingled!

“I can’t believe you’re gonna marry a Christmas elf,” Namjoon snickered.

“Hey, you’re one to talk, Yukon Cornelius. You work at a damn tree farm. Don’t judge me. Besides, I’m sure you’ll be next. Y/n is just as bad as her sister.”

Namjoon stole another glance your way, his eyes darting away in a flash when he realized you were already watching him, something sultry glittering in your gaze that he tucked away in his pockets to think about later.

“Maybe being next wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” he smiled to himself.

────────────────────────

Before you could get off the tree lot, Namjoon was running back to the car, something small in his hands that you couldn’t make out.

You were crammed in the back seat between the extra boughs your sister had bought to turn into wreaths and garlands. All the evergreen scents made you feel like a new car air freshener. God. It was gonna be a long ride back to the city.

Namjoon knocked on the glass in a hurry, and you rolled the window down. What on earth was he-

“You never got your cocoa.”

“What?”

“You said you were gonna wait to nurse it on the ride home so I got… I got you cocoa.” His volume trailed as he handed the cup to you, like he was second guessing every action in his life that had brought him to this moment.

“Oh, I…” you didn’t know what to say. You didn’t trust yourself not to open your mouth and accidentally tell him you were already in love with him and did he know a guy who could get you both a marriage license by sundown.

“Kim Namjoon. You absolute sweetheart,” your sister gushed from the front seat.

Namjoon’s cheeks went from rosy from the cold to plum from embarrassment. You’d never wanted to kiss someone’s eyelashes before.

“Well, that’s all. I gotta get back. i-“

“Thank you,” you whispered, eyes flicking up from beneath your lashes to meet his.

“I…. Yeah. I.. I hope you like it.” His smile was wide, inebriated, giddy. You swore you could see the stars during the daylight.

“I’m sure I will. Six o clock. Tonight. You can come right?”

He nodded, bobbleheaded and boysish.

“Yeah. I’ll grab the address from Hobi.”

“Oh will you now?” Hoseok piped up from the front.

“Hobi, shut up or I will end you,” you threatened through your own teeth as he and your sister laughed at you.

“Tonight?” You called to Namjoon as Hoseok began to shift the car into gear.

“Tonight!” Namjoon shouted back, both his arms waving over head as the car pulled off and he shrank into something small in the distance.

Settling back in your seat, you brought the cup to your lips and breathed in the steamy liquid. You noticed a little black heart drawn in sharpie on the cup, remembered seeing a sharpie tucked behind one of Namjoon’s ears and smiled to yourself like you’d just been passed a note in eighth grade.

You looked up to see two sets of eyes watching you in the rear view.

“Oh god, eyes on the road mom and dad. This has nothing to do with you.”

Your sister giggled, “well I for one am very happy for both of you.”

Hoseok chimed in with a “right? They’re cute.”

God. What a pair of menaces.

You sank in your seat but couldn’t help but smile.

“He is cute, isn’t he?” You whispered into your cocoa cup.

Maybe this wouldn’t be such a long ride home after all.

────────────────────────

“Why did I let you make me think this was a good idea? I don’t even have any furniture! What, we’re gonna make that Goliath sit on boxes for a chair?”

You were frazzled. Namjoon had texted Hobi that he’d be at your place in half an hour. Suddenly the idea of that massive man being in your tiny apartment drinking eggnog out of a solo cup that you’re sure would look like a shot glass in his massive hands made no sense at all.

“First of all, this was your idea,” Hoseok chuckled,” so don’t pin this on me.”

“Traitor.” You whispered.

“But if it makes you nervous, I can shout out the boys to swing by.”

“What? How does that make any sense? Why would we add more people I have no place for? Come on now, use the brain in that pretty head, Hobi.” You rapped your knuckles against his temple as he laughed at you- laughed!

“ I am! It’ll make it feel less like a date. Less pressure to talk one on one there’s a little more of a crowd,” he shrugged like it was that easy. Maybe it was.

“Okay. Fine. Do it. But somebody’s gonna have to bring food cuz there’s nothing in that fridge but eggs and kombucha.”

“God, we need to feed you, little one.” Hobi frowned, concerned.

“Groceries are on tomorrow's to do list. I wasn’t expecting to feed a small army today. I was just gonna grab some take out once you and the missus went home.”

“And you still can. I’ll see if JK can snag something from work.”

A key jingled in the lock as your sister shimmied her way in the door, arms filled with Christmas decorations with a string of gold tinsel draped across her throat like a feather boa.

“I’m back! Hobi, baby, I texted you. Can you bring the other bin up?”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and darted out the door.

“Holy mackerel, it’s gonna look like Santa’s workshop exploded in here.” You took in the sheer amount of tinsel, lights and decor your sister had managed to manhandle up the stairs.

“Oh stop you. They’re just extra decorations and props from the photography studio. I figured you can use what you like, and we’ll just put them back when the season’s over.” She shrugged.

“I’ll take free decorations that I don’t have to store any day.” You asserted with a grin. Peeling the sticky back off a command strip, you climbed up on a chair to hang the dang thing as close to the ceiling as you could reach. Your sister came behind you to spot you. No sense letting you break your neck before the guest of honor even got here.

“Most of our mini sessions are over anyway. Nobody should be trying to book their Christmas card photos after December 14th, and if they do, they deserve the Charlie Brown Christmas tree they get.”

It always tickled you when your sister tried to be matter of fact. You knew good and well she was too accommodating not to at least try to bend.

“Lay down the law, sis. Hey, hand me those string lights will you. Can you plug them in?”

The room burst into light in a cacophony of colors.

“Whew. Multi. Bold.”

“Sorry, I didn’t check if they were colorful or warm white first. Shoot.”

She looked so chagrined. It was so sweet. Here she was being so giving and thoughtful, and she really thought you were gonna have the nerve to be picky.

“Shush, you. They’ll look great. It’s kind of… cozy. Very vintage Christmas. Nostalgia chic,” you smiled, and she smiled with you, relieved.

“Hey, you don’t need to be nervous about Joonie.”

“I don’t?” You looked up at your sister through your lashes.

“He’s really a sweetheart.”

“I mean, I can tell that from space.” You smiled.

“Don’t be smart, you know what I mean, dummy.”

“Wait, which one am I ? Smart or dumb?” You laughed.

“Goofy. But I mean it. He’s such a good guy. His last relationship didn’t go so well,” the color of your sister’s voice changed then. “It was a long time ago. It was. I’m sure he hardly thinks about it anymore. It’s just, I think we’re all rooting for him to find someone who realizes just how lovely he is.”

Hobi chose just then to come clunking through the front door.

“Look who I found!”

Sure enough, all six foot something of Namjoon was right behind him, bashfully twisting a Santa hat between his nervous hands despite still wearing his little green beanie from the tree farm on his head.

Thirty minutes, my ass, you grumbled internally. But out loud you said : “Hey! You made it!”

He looked so big in your doorframe like that. Were his shoulders going to fit? Surely he was going to get stuck like Santa in a chimney flue.

“Looks like you guys got the tree up no problem.” He offered gently.

“Me and Hobi accessed our inner lumberjacks and got it done.” You flexed one bicep and Hoseok patted it like it was made of steel. You both giggled like the weirdos you were as Namjoon smiled softly, still hulking in your doorway like a vampire in need of an invite to cross the threshold.

“Come inside, you silly boy,” your sister tutted. “You’ve let half the winter in.” She tugged Namjoon’s sleeve as he ducked his head to come inside. God, you wanted to climb him like a tree.

He looked so nervous shucking his snow-caked boots off by your front door. It made you want to put him at ease.

“I can take your coat, and… whichever piece of headwear you’d prefer not to wear,” you eyed his double hat situation for the second time as he seemed to notice it for the first.

“Oh shoot. Am I still?” He snatched at his scalp and realized it was shrouded in green yarn. Pulling the beanie off, he inadvertently gave you a glimpse of his face framed by his thick head of tousled ebony hat hair. You weren’t sure if you wanted to climb up to fix it for him or pull him into your room and make it worse. “Can I use your bathroom?” He blurted.

“Mmm hmm. Down the hall, to the right.”

He thanked you, banking around you and the corner to hide in the bathroom.

As the door clicked shut, you locked eyes with your sister across the room. Even you felt how desperate you looked. She had the gall to laugh at you.

Traitor.

────────────────────────

Maybe this was going to be alright after all.

Sure enough, each of Hoseok’s boys rolled in, each one prettier than the last. The apartment had never been so blessed.

Jungkook brought two massive trays of food from chick fil a with enough side sauces to last until the apocalypse. What a fascinating juxtaposition he was. Wide eyes, innocent pink lips puckered unsurely around a little silver hoop and the dimensions of a Mack truck. How someone with that much ink curling across his skin was allowed to serve the lord’s chicken, you did not know, but you did know that god himself must have had a hand in sculpting his perky little peach of an ass. Glory.

Jimin and his obscenely pretty face brought champagne. Taehyung and his intense eyebrows brought vintage Christmas vinyls and a record player that looked like an old leather suitcase that he’d carried up the stairs on his hip like a briefcase. As soon as he’d gotten settled he’d put on Bing Crosby’s rendition of “white Christmas” and waltzed with Jimin around your kitchen island.

Seokjin brought the good food. Yoongi brought the good liquor. Your sister and Hoseok brought the laughter and joy.

It was a perfect way to spend a December night.

Somewhere during the course of the night, seokjin - who was wearing a Christmas sweater with an embroidered cat on it that he referred to as The Second Coming of Min Yoongi- decided to make an old fashioned popcorn garland for your tree. As he and Yoongi squabbled over how to properly thread a needle, you realized it had been ages since you’d seen Namjoon.

When he’d emerged from the bathroom earlier, his soft skin had been glistening as if he’d splashed water on his face. His hair looked to have been slicked back with wet hands, while one stubborn piece jutted forward to softly frame his brows. You’d gulped down your drink and avoided eye contact, knowing good and well your face was probably screaming “for the love of god, please marry me” every time you looked at him.

In your self-preservation, you feared it may have come across as plain avoidance. You needed to find him.

He’d driven all this way.

The tree farm was so far and he’d been working in the cold all day. Yet somehow he was here in your tiny home, without a single complaint.

Earlier in the night, you’d nearly tipped off your chair ladder trying to put the star on your tree and he’d caught you, scooping you up bridal style like it was as natural for him as breathing air. It was an unnecessary gesture. You really hadn’t been that far off the ground and the show of strength was absolutely welcome but embarrassing nonetheless. You’d been cradled in his chest again and god, it had taken everything in you to fight the instinct to bury your face between his pecs.

“Stop objectifying my sweet baby. You’ll taint him.” Hoseok had teased from across the room.

You’d shot him a death glare as a glum Namjoon had placed you gently on the ground.

“Sorry. Hope I didn’t make that awkward. I just… you were falling and…”

“It’s alright, Joon. Thank you.” Your smile was earnest. You watched the way his reaction played across his face like a movie. It made you want to kiss him. “Besides, I should’ve put the tallest man on the job in the first place.”

His dimples had reappeared then, and you’d felt the oxygen in the room go thin.

You’d been avoiding him ever since.

Pressing up off your IKEA futon and stepping around the push up - off a shirtless Jungkook was currently doing as Jimin sat cross legged on his back and Taehyung counted, you set off to find Namjoon.

In less than six hundred square feet, there weren’t many places he could go. Everyone else was in the kitchen/living room. That really only left the open bathroom, the balcony- which your sister and Hoseok were currently cuddled up on, watching the snow fall- and your bedroom.

You weren’t sure what you’d expected to find when you pushed open the door, but somehow Namjoon folded up on the floor studying the lower tier of your bookshelf actually made loads of sense. You hadn’t been aware someone that large could fold themselves into something so small. His long fingers trailed over the spines of your favorite books and something in your lower belly swirled.

You could have spent the rest of the night just watching him read.

That, however, even in your own home, might be kinda creepy so you decided to announce your presence instead.

“Howdy stranger,” you crooned, leaning shoulder first into the door jamb.

Namjoon startled, clutching his chest like you’d just given him a heart attack. His long limbs flailed, knocking into the bookshelf like the baby moose he was, sending a small picture frame careening down onto his head. It knocked his Santa hat off kilter, leaving the beautiful man looking like a bamboozled disaster.

Your laughter filled the room as he collected himself, straightening his hat and placing your frame back on the shelf. You came to sit beside him, hugging your knee and leaning one shoulder into his.

“Whatcha doing? Whatcha reading, more importantly?” You shot him a pointed look paired with a smile you hoped was disarming.

“Oh. Uh, nothing yet. I didn’t mean to pry. I just… well there was so much going on in the living room. I just wanted to get some air so I stepped in here, but I ended up getting lost in your book collection.”

His fingers trailed their spines again, and you felt a shiver down yours.

“You like to read?”

It was a pitiful question on your part really. Clearly he did. He was surrounded by your personal mini library, and it was the most comfortable you’d seen him be all day.

“Oh it’s the best thing, really. You can learn so much about a person by looking at the things they like to read.”

“And what have you learned about me?”

You felt yourself hold your breath as he looked down, dimples daring to show themselves again now that the two of you were in a private place.

“Well, it seems like you appreciate the classics, for one.”

His finger traced the curve of letters embossed in gold on an ivory spine.

“I went through an intense thrift shopping phase over the last few years. I got kind of obsessive about collecting beautiful books,” you confessed.

“You should come to my store sometime then. You’d love the first editions section.”

There was a pride glittering in beautiful dark brown eyes, the first swell of something like confidence showing in them.

“You work at a bookstore too?” You tilted your head to the side in question as his trademark sheepishness returned.

“Um, own. Co-own, really. Between me, Seokjin and Yoongi.”

“Stop- seriously?” You felt yourself press into his space without meaning to. The sharp, earthy smells of cedar and pine still swirled on him, but underneath that was soft clean soap. You found yourself wanting to press your nose into his throat. You realized too late that your eyes had been doing it for you, and Namjoon had caught you doing it.

Cleaning his throat, something in him seemed to grow bold.

He didn’t shy away anymore. He pressed up off the palms he’d been leaning back on and leaned into your space like you did into his. His thumb pulled your bottom lip out of your teeth, tracing along the edge of it softly.

“Seriously.”He whispered, the timber of his voice deep as winter.

His deep set gaze grew heavy as the moment lingered. You caught sight of his tongue flicking out to wet his full lips as his thumb traced yours and suddenly you felt all your grace leave you all at once.

“You should stay.”

It came out breathy, soft. You knew your face must have given away how molten you felt beneath his touch. He chuckled gently, eyes warm as he smirked. Only half a dimple this time, you noticed.

“Stay?” He arched a brow your way.

“When the others leave… you should stay.”

It was crazy, but the lightheaded part of you that was under his spell couldn’t think of anything else she wanted more.

Suddenly, he was soft again. Eyes no longer serpentine but wide. Kind.

“Is that… would you… like that?”

You smiled at him, sweet as strawberries, and then you were kissing him.

Just once. Slow, gentle, but deep.

There was a hint of cinnamon on his lips. Hobi had picked up some horchata at his favorite taqueria on the way back. He must have given some to Joon. You smiled against his mouth, licked into it once. Felt his chest vibrate with the groan it created.

When you pulled back, he was dazed, staring at you like you were made of stars. Eyeing you like he wanted to know what else you were made of. His lip bitten like he was too hungry to wait.

“Stay.” You breathed again.

“I’ll stay.” He whispered back.

────────────────────────

When the last person had left the apartment, you’d locked the door behind them.

Suddenly it was truly just you and him.

You’d turned, back to your front door and looked at him, eyes sultry, smile sweet.

Namjoon was across the room, too busy drinking you in to remember how to move. But you hadn’t forgotten, it seemed. You took your time crossing the small room. The vivid lights cast bursts of blue and red across your skin- it made your eyes look unearthly, tempting in a way Namjoon was incapable of fighting.

You stopped in front of him, palms pressed to his chest. He felt his eyelids grow heavy at the sensation, but he wouldn’t let his eyes close. Not yet. He didn’t want to miss a moment of you.

You slid your hands up his chest, alongside his throat, skimming his jaw and cupping his face. You stood between his legs and god, did he want to rock his hips against you. You were already leaning into him, your hips pressed into his pelvis. What were his corduroys gonna do? He knew you could feel him already swelling against you.

Your brushed soft thumbs across the angles of his face. He reciprocated by tenderly pushing your hair out of your face. Was your heart racing like his?

Slipping his hands down, he tugged the buckle of your belt forward into him with a thunk. He crept his thumbs beneath the sweater you’d tucked into your high black jeans, and let his fingers swirl against your stomach, smoothing over the dips at your waist. Your body was so soft. He felt himself grow warmer, swell against you harder. When your eyes clouded over and your bit your lip, he knew he was sunk.

“I’m gonna take this off now, okay ?” He whispered, tugging at your sweater as you nodded, glassy eyed and obedient, up at him. Jesus.

Why was he whispering? He didn’t know. It just felt right, he thought. Felt right like being beside you all night had felt. Felt right like he knew being inside you was gonna feel.

When he slipped the sweater up over your head, your earring got caught. A little gold hoop snagged in the knit.

Breathe, he reminded himself, go slow. You don’t have to rush.

He soon realized that was advice he was going to need to take to heart in more ways than one the second he untangled you and saw your glittering smile glowing brightly, saw the way your breasts were spilling smooth and fleshy over the confines of your lacy little balconette bra.

Jesus. Fuck.

Turns out he’d said both out loud and your glossy eyes grew hungrier the longer he looked at you.

“Do something, daddy.” You teased, voice low, gaze heady.

“Christ, y/n,” he drawled as his self-control blacked out.

Soon he was pushing your breasts together, burying his face between them. Sucking one into his warm mouth, scooping the other loose from the dark lace. He had one large hand firmly fitted just behind the buckle of your jeans as the other cupped your breast that wasn’t in his mouth, thumb diligently flicking your nipple until it grew stiff like a meringue peak. He slipped that one in his mouth then, tongue picking up pace his thumb had set and tweaking the nipple on your other breast.

You panted beneath his touch, sinking and molding into him like warm clay in his hands. He wasn’t sure when his hips had started to glide against you, but god, yours were moving too, supple and fluid like water. He needed to get you out of the rest of these clothes. He needed to find out if he could mark your breasts and neck black and purple with his mouth like he wanted to while he fucked you. You really did taste sweet, just like he thought you would. God, he wanted to take a bite out of you.

Pleasantries first though, he reminded himself.

Pushing his head back against the wall, he tried to catch his breath but your nimble fingers were working open the snaps on his corduroys instead.

“Question-“ he asked breathless.

“Answer,” you grinned, triumphant as you finally popped the latch on his pants.

“Jesus, fuck. Cripes.” His eyes fluttered shut as you ran his zipper down and reached beneath his boxer briefs to grab him.

“Which one of those was a question?” You smirked, licking your thumb before brushing it gently across the fleshy tip of him. His stomach dipped in, toned muscle crunching in on itself as your big man buckled under your touch.

“Okay, okay okay. I’m gonna have to ask this quick before you make me spontaneously finish on your tits touching me like that. Whew.” His eyes were blown, head back. Unprepared for you licking more fingers and slipping back down to gingerly play with his balls. “Oh my gooooooood. Okay. Okay. Okay. Marks?”

“Like hickies?” You asked curiously, your hand moving of its own accord to grip him firmly at the base and pull up.

“Yeah, yeah hickies,” he panted, his pretty skin growing sweaty.

“I like that.” You smiled, wide and way too pretty for him to handle right now.”it’s winter. Go crazy, big boy.”

He nodded raggedly, his brow furrowed deep as he bit his lip. He almost looked angry, he had no way of knowing it made you incredibly aroused.

“Tits. I like your…tits. A lot. So much. They’re so pretty.”

You smiled into his throat as you kissed his neck and pumped him silly.

“Joonieee, youre so sweet.” You nipped at his collarbone, giggling at shiver that ran through him.

“Would it… could I… Jesus, woman, why are you so good at that? Screw this. Fuck it. Can I cum on you, your chest at the end of this?” His eyes were direct now, serpentine and lusty as he licked his lips, ran a thumb along the swell of your breast.

“Yeah ?” You ran your tongue along his neck, sending another tremor through him.

“Yeah. You’d look so pretty with my cum on your chest. I mean, they look so pretty already, but Yeah, god yeah I want that.” he nodded.

“Okay. Promise. You can finish on my pretty titties, if you want.” You laughed.

“I want.”

“I’ll even let you fuck them if you want.”

“Christ. You said…what?” He was out of breath, lightheaded from the thought of himself being pressed between the two warm pillowy clouds on your chest.

“Uh huh, if you don’t finish inside me first, that is,” you breathed in his ear.

“Oh my god. Not fair. Get on the bed, now.” He said it with an edge, a grit you didn’t expect from your sweet nervous Christmas tree man. A bite that made you want to obey. Made you want to fuck his brains out. Made you want to be his baby girl so you followed along and played nice. He fumbled with your belt as you melted. You did what you were told and climbed back on up onto the bed, stripping the rest of the way for him along the way.

────────────────────────

As he followed, he pulled his thick wool sweater over his head, black hair falling in gorgeous eyes as he did. The full reveal of his torso left the space between your legs glossy and sticky in ways you hadn’t known it could be. His Jeans and black boxer briefs went next and then he was climbing up and over you, golden and lanky and strong and hung.

Jesus , fuck, Indeed.

He smiled at you, sourdough dimples and serpentine eyes as he slowed down.

“I’m gonna kiss you, okay?”

You nodded, obedient, nervous, eager. You wanted him. God, how did you describe how badly you wanted Kim Namjoon? His lips were plump, sweet, inexhaustibly delicious. His tongue slipped deep into your mouth, his hand firm but sweet on your hip as it climbed up your torso.

Your tits were in his mouth again, tongue flicking wildly as he moaned around your fullness and your nipple. He tweaked the other, switching back and forth as he rutted his too big dick into the meat of your thigh.

“Question,” you gasped, breathless.

“Answer, baby,” his hooded eyes were looking darkly up at you as his thumb slipped its way down to gloss smoothly over your silky clit. You cried out, and he smiled, mouth still filled with your voluptuous tit.

“Daddy?” You questioned, and the primal groan that rattled through his chest and through the sharp twitch of his dick against your leg answered any further queries you had to ask.

“Yes, please, baby. “

He slid up to suck a dark splotch into your neck, his dick sliding up and catching on the slippery ridge of your clit as he did.

“I can call you that ? Can I call you daddy?” You gasped.

He simply nodded, dropping kisses along your collarbone and throat as he lined up to finally slip inside you. The fit was snug, the drag of him along your inner walls sublime as he rocked, working you more and more open to the massive size of him. You smiled, delirious, giddy, as he fucked you like you were divine.

You came three times that night, he came twice. Once inside you and once on your pretty tits. Then one more time down your throat in the morning.

────────────────────────

“There’s not much, but I have…. Let’s see. Coffee, kombucha, seokjin’s leftover gingerbread men… oh and eggs. Can I make you eggs?” You fluttered your lashes up at him. “I’d really like to make you eggs.”

Namjoon looked so cute. Face puffy, lips full. Hair still damp from the shower he took. You’d both been too nervous to shower together, so you’d taken turns and done it separately. You thanked god you actually owned two bath towels to make it possible. He was so adorable. It made you want to cook for the man.

“Sure,” he nodded. Mercy, his voice was even deeper in the morning. He’d barely used it so far today, aside from the sexy groans that had spilled out of him this morning when you’d woken him up with your cheek resting sweetly on his inner thigh and his cock in your warm mouth. (You’d gotten consent the night before, of course.)

“Um, how do you take your coffee? And is scrambled okay? I make really good scrambled eggs.”

He smiled warmly, his gruff exterior softening with your exuberance. He nodded his assent and you got to work getting out the egg carton, your chopsticks, the milk and your lone skillet.

“Oh, wait. Your coffee, how do you take your coffee?”

You turned in your robe, a harsh pivot, just to accidentally end up nose to Namjoon’s sweatshirt covered tits with an Ooof.

He kissed your hair, a deep chuckle from the depths of his throat booming through his chest. He was wearing one of your giant college sweatshirts ( that fit just on the roomy side of just right on him) and his black boxer briefs, his substantial thighs looking gorgeous as ever as he stood barefoot in your kitchen. What a turn of events.

He slipped his sturdy arms around your waist from behind, pushing up against the underside of your boobs and buried his blushing face in your hair.

“Black. Just a little cream is good.” He murmured as you sank back against him.

You weren’t used to how soothing another person’s presence could be.

“Gotcha. I’ll grab the-“

He chuckled, pulling you tightly into him to stop your scurrying.

“Shhh. I got it. Thank you.” He pressed a kiss deep into the skin on your neck. It melted you just a little bit further into the solidity of him.

“For what?”

“Last night. This morning. Yesterday. All of it.”

His confidence dipped again. Cockiness replaced by a sincerity so disarming you felt your heart dip softly. He’s so sweet, you thought as you gently caressed the forearm he had draped over your stomach.

“Yes, well…I ….” it was then you realized you didn’t know what to say. In lieu of words, you kissed his palm.

“You’re already making us breakfast. Least I can do is grab my own coffee… you want some?” He nudged the tip of his nose against the top of your ear.

Being that close to his voice made you shiver. You nodded without realizing it. The sound of his voice made you want to be so obedient to him. Why were you so turned on by him being kind, damnit ?

His hands fitted themselves to your hips, pushing the fullness of your bottom back against his hips. You were about to tell him you take yours with sugar and more cream than coffee when your phone began to ring.

Startled, you bolted out of his arms to find… your sister trying to FaceTime you?

Kissing Namjoon’s cheek, you stepped away to answer. Queuing up the screen, you were thoroughly unprepared for brilliant, happy screams pealing through the phone. There was too much motion to make out an image at first, until finally. you caught a glimpse of sparkle. It was the ring Hoseok had shown you a picture of the day he decided to custom order it for your sister.

“Hobi proposed!!!” Your sister squealed. No regard for the neighbors, this one.

“When?”

“Last night. When we got home. Y/n it was perfect…. I could tell he seemed weird when we were on the balcony yesterday, oddly stiff. Like he was trying to tell me something, but it wasn’t making any sense. I teased him and told him to try again later. I was just being dumb- I didn’t know! but when we got home, I had gone upstairs to change out of my Christmas tree clothes and when I came back. He was on his knees in the kitchen.”

Your sister clasped a hand over her mouth as her eyes filled with happy tears. Smart boy, he’d listened to you and Namjoon.

“Y/n, I’m gonna be a wife. I'm gonna marry Hobi. Y/n, I’m so happy I could cry,” she sniffled as tears spilled over the backs of her knuckles.

“Baby, you are crying,” you teased, your own eyes growing glassy too.

“Hey, that’s MY BABY” you heard Hoseok yell from somewhere off camera.

“She was mine first,” you stuck your tongue out petulantly.

“Congrats, man!” Namjoon cheered from his spot by your coffee pot.

“Thanks bro!” Hoseok called back.

“Wait.” Your sister started….

Oh no.

“Was that…” Hoseok added.

No. No. No. no. No.

“Oh my god. Y/n, was that Namjoon?! Did he spend the night?!? Oh my gosh are you two in love now?!?

Startled you let you out something between a yelp and a shriek, dropping your phone on the carpet.

“Did you hold onto those arms of his all night?” Your sister teased.

“Wait-“ Hoseok interrupted ,” do you have a thing for Namjoon’s arms babe?”

“Everyone does,” your sister quipped.” You do too Hobi.”

“That’s not the point… eh! We’re Balenciaga buddies!” Hoseok cheered, the snap of elastic ringing through the air.

Apparently your phone fell in such a way that the camera gave them a beautiful view of Namjoon’s sleek black briefs and the tree trunks they were stretched around.

“Stop objectifying him!” You scolded Hoseok.

“I will when you do!” He taunted.

“Oh my god I can’t do this.” Pinching the bridge of your nose, you sighed as Namjoon scooped both you and your phone up from behind again

“Then I will.” He whispered in your ear. “Congratulations you guys!”

Hoseok and your sister gushed something sticky sweet about how obnoxiously in love you and Namjoon were and you couldn’t help it, you smiled too. You told your sister how happy you were for her, promising to call her later with all the juicy details before finally hanging up the phone and burying your face in Namjoon’s hard tiddy. Which he flexed for you, god bless him, before also flexing his yummy, yummy arms around you until you burst into a fit of giggles.

“I like this,” he whispered softly, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“Me too…. Got any plans today?.”

“Nope. I’m off the rest of the weekend.”

“Wanna go grocery shopping with me after I cook you eggs?”

“Are you just using me for my car?” He squinted slyly at you with a smile.

“No. That hadn’t occurred to me actually. I was actually planning on using your height and your body for my own personal benefit.” You answered thoughtfully.

“Oh.” His eyes went a bit wide like he hadn’t thought about that option. “Well. Then. Can I use you for yours?” He asked innocently.

“Sure. Although, you should know, I’m all talk. I’m the biggest softie…. I’m pretty sure if you’d asked me to marry you when we were talking tree-sourcing ethics, I would have strongly considered saying yes.”

Crap. You hadn’t planned on admitting all that. This was his fault. He was just so damn sincere. Those stupid eyes of his were so goddamn kind. You kept forgetting to put a guard up around him.

As you braced for him to be thoroughly traumatized by your admission, nothing of the sort came. He didn’t say a word. Instead, he hugged you beneath the ribs and hoisted you in a circle, nuzzling his cheek tenderly into your cheek.

“Oh thank GOD” he exhaled.

“I’m sorry- what?”

“I’ve spent all morning trying to figure out how to tell you how much I like you without making you feel like you might become the subject of the next true crime podcast.” He ran a hand through his silky hair as you stood stunned where he’d set you down to process his words.

“You….”

“Yeah…”

“That bad?”

“Honestly I’m not opposed to taking your last name if you asked me.” He shrugged.

You covered your face with both hands, shaking it ruefully despite the cosmically bright smile on your face. Soon you were both howling with laughter in each other’s arms, smiling into Namjoon’s deep eyes.

“This is crazy! We’re crazy.”

“I know.” He nodded in agreement.

“I like you.”

“I really like you.”

“I don’t know the first thing about you.”

“Let’s find out together, shall we?”

You felt your eyes fill with annoyingly happy tears. “Yeah, okay. I’d like that.”

“You just moved here right?”

“Yeah. Finally- should have done it ages ago. My turn-Why do you and Hoseok have matching designer underwear ?”

“We all do actually. It was Jimin and Seokjins doing a couple Christmases ago.”

“But just one pair each right?”

“Yeah?” Namjoon nodded, brows hunched in confusion.

“Okay. So that means you’re telling me you and Hobi just happened to be on the same daily boxer rotation the day you both fucked a pair of sisters with the same DNA?”

“Please don’t word it that way.” Namjoon grimaced.

“I worded it how it is,” you shrugged.

“My turn. Why do you really want me to go to the grocery with you, Hmm?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“Besides the company? For the view when I make you stretch for everything I’ve ever needed on the top shelf, Babyyy.”

“Oh my god. Are you serious?” He couldn’t contain his laughter.

“As a heart attack.” You winked.

“C’mon. Show me how you make these super fluffy eggs I’ve heard so much about. I’m starving. The gorgeous girl who owns this apartment milked me dry three times in less than twelve hours. I’m famished.”

Goddamn him and those cheeky little dimples.

────────────────────────

[satans-knitwear]

Celebrate with me!!

Treat me ~ Tip me

[byuntrash101]

exo masterlist

disclaimer: everything is smut, mdni. everything is idol x fem!reader

✲ byun baekhyun

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M U L T I P L E M E M B E R S

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[dirtythirtyfest]

DIRTY THIRTY FEST IS HERE!

With Harry’s 30th birthday a mere month away, it’s time to come up with YOUR plans to give him the “dirty thirty” birthday celebration of his dreams! This fest is open for art as well as fic, so whether you feel inspired to depict a filthy scene visually or with the written word, go for it! Prompt submissions are open and anyone can take any prompt they like; I’ll be updating a post with the prompts every day or so up until the submission deadline.  

The rules for this fest are as follows: -Harry must be a main character in the fic-- can be watching, participating, whatever -Any pairing/multi-pairing is fine, omegaverse, sex/genderswap, etc, basically anything goes-- this doesn't have to be canon Harry -No length requirements or limits, as long or short as you want -Art posts must have appropriate community label to be shared on tumblr -No content restrictions, but please tag thoroughly (or use “author chose not to use archive warnings” if you prefer)

The deadline for adding your fic to the collection is Wednesday January 31st, 11:59pm PST

Fics and art will be revealed on Harry’s 30th birthday, Thursday, February 1st by 5am PST/8am EST

There’s no sign up for this fest, so if you decide to write something at the last minute, that’s fine! If you also have a dream idea and wanna write a 30k masterpiece, I’m not going to stop you :)

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

a/n: had the little idea for the first half of this one late in the day sunday and couldn’t resist, even though it’s post-andrei’s birthday. BUT it’s @smileysvech ‘s birthday today so it functions as a little present for her and is the reason reader’s birthday is two days after andrei’s in the fic 🥰 HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🥳 also this is my sixth fic in two weeks so i think i might take a beat to work on the next batch, but we’ll see - either way, there’s over 30k of svech fics for you to enjoy on my page 😂

word count: 1.8k

tw: birthday smut and extremely google-translated russian

summary: yours and andrei’s birthdays are two days apart and you celebrate

“Happy birthday to you,

happy birthday to you,

happy birthday, Mister Svechnikov,

happy birthday to you,”

you giggle, ruining the sultry, faux-Marilyn Monrone voice you had put on to sing to Andrei. You set the cake in front of him on the coffee table and watch as he closes his eyes to make a wish. He opens his eyes and blows out the candles, the light reflecting in his eyes briefly.

“What did you wish for?” You ask, obliging when he opens his arms for you to sit on his lap. You’re careful of his knee, the giant brace still makes you a little sad to look at, knowing it means he’s missing the fun part of hockey - the playoffs.

Andrei kisses the side of your neck, “can’t tell you. It won’t come true then.”

“Hmm, I guess that’s a good point,” you smile. “Birthday candle rules must be followed.”

His hand rests on your hip and you lean forward to grab two forks - since it’s just you and the cake is small, you’re not bothering with plates and knives. You spear a piece of cake onto your fork and Andrei darts his head forward to snag the bite. “Hey!” You exclaim, looking at your empty fork. “That was mine!”

He grins at you, “what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine.” To demonstrate, he loads up his own fork and holds it to your lips, cake bumping against them until you open your mouth for the bite. You purposely moan a little, keeping the fork in between your lips. Andrei shakes his head at you.

“Little tease,” he pinches your side gently and you squeal. You wiggle in his lap and Andrei inhales sharply.

“Oh, I can tease with the best of them, Drei,” you murmur, looping your arms around his neck and biting gently on his earlobe. You can feel him, hot and hard, under your ass and you grin against his skin.

His arms tighten around your waist and you shift, dragging your ass over his erection. “Milaya,” he murmurs, voice hoarse, “it’s my birthday.”

“I know,” you shift on his lap so you’re straddling him. “That’s why I’m not wearing any panties under this dress,” you lean in and whisper in his ear.

Andrei groans, his erection like a steel rod against you thigh. The fork in his hand is gone, tossed onto the table somewhere, and he guides both hands under the hem of your dress, fingers finding your bare ass and squeezing. He kneads at your ass cheeks and you’re getting wetter by the second, sliding against the fabric of his basketball shorts.

“All for me?” He asks rhetorically, pulling you in and slipping one hand under your ass, his middle finger teasing at your clit.

“Mhm,” you hum, clenching around nothing. Feeling a little self-conscious, you carefully repeat the Russian phrase you’d learned for this moment, “Syad'te poudobneye i rasslab'tes', solnyshko.”

Andrei’s eyes fly up to yours and his smile widens. “Trust me, my love, I’m not going anywhere.” He chuckles a bit and kisses a line from your jaw down your neck. “It’s fucking hot when you speak Russian.”

You slip your hand under the waistband of his shorts and find him commando. “I can tell,” you smirk, wrapping your fingers around him and twisting your wrist a bit.

He groans, head dropping back against the couch. One hand grips your ass tighter and two fingers on the other hand find their way inside of you, curling gently, teasing. You clench around him and roll your hips, losing concentration a bit as you try to shove Andrei’s shorts down. “I…wait, this is about you,” you gasp, Andrei’s fingers filling you.

“Where else would I put my hand?” He replies cheekily.

“Be a good boy,” you admonish him gently, finally getting his waistband down so his cock can bounce free. You grin at him, stroking him with the fork pressure you know he likes. Andrei’s face goes slack and his mouth drops open a little. “Good boy,” you murmur when his fingers stop teasing you. They’re still stuffed inside of you, but you’re going to get up on your knees in a second and he’ll withdraw his hand.

Making sure his knee is still in a good position and you’re not going to jostle him too much, you lift up carefully and position him under you. “Happy birthday, Drei,” you murmur, sinking down on him, using his shoulders for leverage. His hands automatically find your waist, smearing your own arousal on your skin, and guiding you up and down. He kisses your neck and chest as you ride him, murmuring in Russian.

You clench around him, rolling your hips. Andrei trusts his hips up into yours and you worry about his knee, so you double your efforts, your thighs burning from the workout. His eyes are shut tightly and you feel his stomach muscles contract. “Hey, come for me,” you whisper, carding the fingers of one hand through his hair. “It’s your birthday, you get to go first.”

“No, no,” he groans, “together. It’s rude.”

His hand finds where you’re joined and he strums his fingers over your clit, fingers slipping with the combination of your desire. You moan, dropping your head to his shoulder and move faster, rolling your hips and reaching down to cup his balls. The combination of your hands and his sends both of you over the edge and you clench around him while he comes in you. You shiver from the aftershocks, draping over Andrei’s chest and shoulders while he holds you in place.

He softens and slips out of you, but you stay on his lap, the both of you a mess. You giggle and kiss his jaw. “I’m glad I brought the cake in before I sat on you,” you say, “now we don’t have to go anywhere for sustenance.”

“What if I’m still hungry?” Andrei asks, a glint in his eye.

“Well,” you tangle your fingers in the chain around his neck, “it’s your birthday, so you can eat whatever you want.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Andrei growls, carefully leaning you back on the couch and shifting so his head is in between your thighs.

You shriek-laugh, “your knee! Andrei, be careful!”

“I know what I’m doing, solnyshka,” he smirks up at you from between your legs. “I’m a professional.”

Because Andrei’s birthday this year fell on Whaler’s night, the team sends a care package that arrives on Monday. There’s a fresh new blue and green Whalers jersey that you promptly steal, a plush Pucky the whale, and a Canes flag that’s been signed by the fans wishing Andrei a speedy recovery. The note include mentions that it was a Twitter fan who organized the whole thing and Andrei’s extremely touched. He’s been so positive during the early days of his recovery and knowing that the fans are all behind him is only helping to keep his spirits up.

“Told you they love you,” you say, resting your chin on his shoulder while you read over all the names and messages on the flag.

He wipes the back of his hand under his nose and nods. “I just want to be good for them.”

“You are,” you kiss his cheek sweetly. “And you’ll be back better than ever.”

The next day is your birthday and Andrei starts it off right by eating you out before you’re even complete awake. You stroke his hair like he’s a pet and mumble, “I can’t believe I have to get out of bed now.”

Andrei kisses your stomach, resting his chin on your hipbone, “you’re only doing a half day, right?”

“Mhm,” you hum. “Still, you look fucking edible and I don’t want to put on pants.”

“I don’t want you to put pants on either,” Andrei laughs. His fingers tickle lightly against your inner thigh and you squirm. “But you’ll be back home before you know it.”

“You’re supposed to tell me to quit my job and that you’ll take care of my every whim,” you whine, breaking off into a laugh because you both know that he absolutely would take care of you if you asked. But you both also know that you’d go totally crazy if you just sat around doing nothing all day.

Andrei sticks his tongue out at you. “You’d be bored,” he says, patting your hip. “Better get up or you’ll be late.”

Despite your reluctance to get up, the morning goes by quickly - your coworkers bring you coffee and a breakfast pastry and they’ve decorated you office. Before you know it, it’s one and you’re driving back home with the windows down and Shania Twain blasting.

“Drei?” You call out kicking your sneakers off. “Where are you?”

“Kitchen!” He calls back and you find him standing at the kitchen island, frosting a cake.

All that registers is that he’s standing up and you frown, “aren’t you supposed to be resting?”

He looks up, smidge of frosting on his cheek, and waves the spatula at you. “I rested all morning and have been sitting most of the time. I needed to stand to finish frosting,” he explains.

It finally clicks that he’s making you a cake for your birthday and your heart melts. “Oh,” you smile softly, coming towards the island and casually pushing a stool under his ass so he’ll sit down. “You made me a birthday cake?”

“There’s even birthday coffee,” he grins, pointing at the Nespresso. Two thick mugs are sitting there, one with rainbow sprinkles on the top. You giggle, “I’m assuming that one’s mine?”

He nods, snagging your wrist in his hand so he can tug you in for a kiss. “Can’t do too much with the leg,” he mutters, “but coffee and a birthday cake I can do.” Andrei’s arms wrap around your waist and he squeezes you in a little hug.

You cup his cheeks in your hands and kiss him again. “Birthday cake and coffee with my guy is the only way I want to spend my birthday, Drei,” you grin, wiping at the frosting on his cheek with your thumb.

He wants to finish decorating the cake, so you pull up another stool and tell him about your day while he shakes the sprinkles over the top and sticks a few candles into the frosting. Opening a bakery isn’t even close to being in Andrei’s future, but he’s so cute while he decorates and he’s clearly having fun.

You prop your chin in the palm of your hand and watch him, a small smile playing at your lips while you imagine a future where Andrei is decorating birthday cakes for your kids, where your kids are helping him and eating more frosting than they’re putting on the cake.

“What?” He looks up, catching you watching him. His eyebrows draw together and he swipes at his face. “More frosting?”

“No,” you say, “you’re perfect.”

[ughmerlin]

hi besties! it feels so surreal to type but somehow, by some weird twist of fate, i hit 30k followers. it's an insane amount and one i really can't visualize, let alone believe that so many people decided to follow silly old me (that's like... half a stadium during a tswift show?? unreal). but still, i am so so grateful for every single one of you — for interacting with me, reblogging my sets, leaving kind words in the tags, sending me memes and being silly and delusional with me. even a single message can light up a girl's day like nothing else and all of you have truly brought me more bright days than i can count. and so now it's time to celebrate you!

i am a diy enthusiast, if nothing else, and what is a gifset if not a little handcrafted gift? so to take part in this celebration send me one of the following:

love letter: send me a 💌 with a character/dynamic and a color/color combo of your choice for a gifset focused on your beloved characters

personalised mixtape: send me a 📼 with a character/dynamic and an singer/band of your choice for a gifset inspired by song lyrics (you can also send me a couple of songs to choose from!)

friendship bracelet: send me a ✨ with a cast of characters from a show of your choice for a gifset celebrating the whole group (think the six of crows gang, merlin core four etc.)

i'm taking requests for pretty much everything i blog about! if you're not sure if i've seen/liked a certain show, you can use the search function on my blog to look for it or just ask directly! and please keep in mind that this is a followers only event.

gonna end this by tagging some of my dear mutuals under the cut. you guys bring so much joy into my life, inspire me endlessly and never fail to amaze me – with your kindness, humor and talent alike. thank you so much for making my dash such an amazing space, i love you all a lot!

@pedrocillian, @yenvengerberg, @seance, @lamberts, @anya-chalotra, @ivashkovadrian, @taiturner, @morgana-pendragon, @alinaastarkov, @meliorn, @zoya-nazyalenskys, @camelotsheart​, @courtjestermerlin, @nextstopparis, @thebookluvrr1816, @witchmd13, @theedorksinlove​, @nicolasnelson​, @nick-nelson, @withered-rose-with-thorns, @southfarthing, @crowley-anthony, @capinejghafa, @nikolaislanstovs, @genyazafin, @dadralt, @jakeyp, @aramblingjay, @pandalikeelf, @henwilsons, @padme-amidala, @christophernolan

[sitp-recs]

Save the Date by @mallstars

Harry/Draco (2023, Explicit, 123k)

In the twelve years after the war, Harry attends sixteen weddings. As friends and acquaintances vow their lives to one another, he watches quietly from the sidelines. Step by step, Harry pieces himself back together, builds a life from the wreckage of his past and falls, slowly and thoroughly, for Draco Malfoy. A story told in sixteen parts, of patient and transformative love, of queerness, of reaching out and holding on. Featuring plenty of pining, Gilderoy Lockhart getting married in a fever dream of glitter and product placement, and Rita Skeeter spitting a steady stream of venom at Harry and Draco's every move.

“Perhaps this was how much of Divination worked. Showing you something you wanted, or didn't want, and urging you along a path. Sitting in the freezing ground on a Bulgarian mountain as the sun commenced its journey up the sky, Harry made a decision. He would get to know someone, the way he knew Ron and Hermione. Better, even, if he was capable of that. It was evident, really, who he wanted that person to be - and Padma seemed to approve. It had to be Draco Malfoy.”

Since I’ve been talking and getting asks about my most recent read I’ve decided this would be a good opportunity to write a brand new rec, and hopefully send more people on their way to this story. I’ve been in the mood for longer fics lately but it’s getting harder and harder to binge anything over 30k, so instead of pressuring myself to rush through it I’ve decided to take my sweet time and embrace the experience over the past week.

Curiously, I found this fic thanks to the author herself! We bonded over our shared interest in a niche fic kink (isn’t that how it always starts!) and she mentioned that earlier this year she published her first fic, one she was very proud of. Naturally I had to ask for a link to check it out and I’m so happy that I did. This story is a long, aching and deeply emotional love letter to Harry, carefully exploring his trauma and post-war struggles in such a compassionate way it gave me a lump in the throat. From dealing with his childhood abuse and a general lack of sense of purpose after the war, to coming to terms with his fame and sexuality to finally allowing himself to be happy and fulfill his resolution: getting to know someone, deeply. I love how that scene puts everything into motion, giving the fic a magical and serendipitous tone that helped me get through the angsty slow burn knowing that Drarry was more than endgame, it was inevitable. The tea leaves willed so!!!!

We follow Harry’s melancholy and introspective POV for about 12 years, each one marked by a different wedding he attends. There’s this weary wistfulness about the way he sees things that really touched me, as he struggles to find his place and pines on for Draco. We celebrate the friends and acquaintances we get to know through his eyes, one wedding at a time - and what a fantastic cast! I especially loved seeing more of Angelina as she’s not usually explored in fic. From Blaise’s to Lockhart’s to Ron’s to Hagrid’s, each wedding ceremony offers a new setting for Harry’s self-reflection and advances the Drarry agenda offering him new ways to get to know Draco and himself. They don’t always meet or talk but Draco’s always at the back of his mind, even before the resolution is made, and I found that quite romantic!

I wasn’t expecting this fic to span over so many years but instead of never-ending pain where you don’t quite understand why they can’t kiss and make out already, Harry’s pining is soft and tentative; it allows him to grow, explore his own sexuality and learn how to be comfortable in his own skin before reaching out to Draco. Despite being unavailable for some time, we don’t really need Draco’s POV to know he’s aching for Harry just as desperately. But we do get a glimpse of his mind through their correspondence, which is how they actually fall in love.

Watching their friendship blossom through the letters made me so soft and happy I didn’t want it to end. I think that was my favourite chapter and and I’m not even that much of an epistolary enthusiast! But their written exchanges create the most delicious anticipation and oh, when they finally get together they’re both so sure and devoted to each other it feels earned and right. I love how the fic paces the progression of Harry’s initial obsession towards a calmer, reserved and patient love. Just like he wished many years before, he gets to know someone deeply: this reformed and fascinating tea shop owner Draco, who adores his mom, is there for his friends, says Harry’s name with adoration and has a fondness for flowers and owls 🥹

If you’re looking for a cathartic pining!Harry journey, with gentle slow burn and satisfying payoff - the endearments! the smut! be still my heart - this long fic is an absolute treat. Check it out today then let’s get started on @mallstars’s new time loop wip!

Read on AO3!