#5sos writers collab | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thrillridesz · 3 years

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heart racing ▫ j.yn

in part of the adrenaline rush! collab hosted by @lucas-wongs + @ickjun

⇢ pairing: jaehyun x reader (f) (ft. other nct members + twice’s jeongyeon)

⇢ genre: fluff, angst, racer!au, best friends to lovers

⇢ warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating, mentions and consumption of alcohol, alcoholism, hitting rock bottom

⇢ synopsis: once a revered member of the racing industry, jaehyun has been living at rock bottom for the past few months following a tragic accident that effectively put him out of racing. it seems as though nothing would get through to him, not even you. will he ever break out of the constant loop of doubt and start seeing things for what they really are?

⇢ word count: 8.04k

⇢ a/n : unedited! also posted on this account because I’m considering merging my nct account with my tbz writing blog also PLEASE check out the other writers’ works ^^ we’ve all worked hard on our fics

“Jaehyun, you’re ruining yourself.”

The dim room reeked of stale alcohol and something mouldy as the empty beer bottles that littered the floor clanged noisily against the surrounding furniture, leaking golden yellow liquid all over. Old, worn clothes were draped everywhere, stained and darkened with murky stains while the battered television flickered weakly to live, showing nothing but static. The walls were streaked and striated with scratches, as if someone had just been clawing desperately at them and on the floor amidst the empty glass bottles, were pieces of scrap poster paper. Sunlight peeks in through the drawn blinds, giving a teasing glimpse to the bustling outside world from the sad, decrepit apartment Jaehyun lived in.

Sprawled on the couch with nothing on except a wrinkled pair of jeans, Jaehyun’s eyes were devoid of emotion - blank and dazelike. In his hand, his fingers held on limply to the neck of yet another bottle of beer, possibly his nth for the day. His usually shiny hazel brown hair was greasy with filth and his bare chest was sticky with sweat from being cooped up all day in this tiny, stuffy apartment of his. His jawline was starting to grow a hint of stubble given how much he’d completely let himself go and dark circles were appearing underneath those intense eyes of his.

Slowly, Jaehyun lifted his gaze from the floor to look at you, the first flicker of emotions that he’d ever displayed in the whole day. You stood before him, arms akimbo, your gaze sharp and piercing. He smiled, a smile that held no mirth or happiness.

“Oh, you’re still here.”

You shook your head, ripping the bottle of beer from his grasp. As you approached, the bottles, clothes and torn pieces of paper on the ground almost made you trip and you tutted under your breath.

“Of course I am. I’m your best friend who is somehow still here with you. Best friends help each other.”

He chuckled nonchalantly, waving his hand at the door. “Well, feel free to leave then. I don’t need your help.” His eyes held a hint of anger as he did, something that did not escape your notice.

“Jaehyun,” you said softly, placing the bottle on a nearby table as you dread what was to come next. “Please, not this again.”

Your words only served to fuel the fiery spark of anger in his eyes as he said in a barely controlled tone, the irritation radiating from him in ripples that threatened to evolve into waves, “Why not? I’m a fucking wreck and a loser anyways. Leave like everyone else did. Leave like…” His voice wobbled, “leave like Jeongyeon did.”

Your heart fell and it took almost a godlike willpower not to let your emotions show. Was he still thinking about her?

“Jaehyun-”

“What? Are you gonna say I’m not a loser like you always do? Cut the fucking lies. Everyone out there is saying the same thing, what makes you think you can convince me that you’re not thinking it either? Hm?” He spat, the drowsiness in his demeanour dissipating fast as red hot anger replaced it. There was so much internal frustration within Jaehyun that just seeing him like this was enough to break your heart. It was one thing to see him in this terrible state but it was quite another to see him directing his anger towards you.

You drew in a deep breath, trying to calm your pounding heart and to stop the tears that pricked at the corner of your eyes. Having been there with him every step of the year ever since the both of you were children playing and horsing around the neighbourhood, you found yourself desperately missing those much simpler times and wondering how things became so wrong.

For as long as you could remember, Jaehyun had always been interested and had a natural flair for racing. There always existed a competitive streak in him that thrived off a challenge. It didn’t matter what it was, as long as it was a game that could have a clear winner or incited competitiveness, he was all up for it. As kids, the two of you used to compete over everything, be it for the last popsicle in the convenience store down the street or past the gates of your school. It was as if racing was something he needed in order to live. It wasn’t until sophomore year of high school did Jaehyun decide to take his love for racing to a professional level. He began to dive deep into the motorsport industry, starting out as a mere rookie in auto racing. He never did apply to college, preferring instead to invest all his time into his newfound life career.

His rise to fame was quick, quicker than most. Within his first year, he had won a number of races, beating even some of the well known names in the sport. Every other month, he was winning trophies and exorbitant cash prizes which in return earned him the recognition of famous sponsors and racers. Bumper stickers from the various sponsors decorated the back of his ride and it was no time at all before Jaehyun began to don some of the most expensive sports gear on the tracks. With his smouldering good looks, he also appeared on the front pages of magazines and newspapers, all while attracting a loyal fanbase made up of both racing enthusiasts and adoring admirers.

To everyone else, he was the suave, handsome and effortlessly cool young racer who was practically born to race and to do it well but to you, he was your childhood friend… and your first love. In front of the flashing lights and cameras, Jaehyun knew his way around the crowd. He knew exactly when to flash one of his dazzling, dimpled smiles and how to work the crowd - it was just one of his innate charms. Yet, you knew that underneath that, that flashy, extravagant Jaehyun, was the Jaehyun you grew up with and had gradually fallen in love with.

As children, he was there for you whenever you needed him, always ready to lend a helping hand when he noticed that you were stuck in an unfavourable situation. You distinctly remember what had happened in second grade. It was a bright and warm summer’s day, the lovely scent of sweet peas floating in the air as the sun bore down on the earth. Pigeons flitted over the sidewalks, pecking at the cemented floor and the leaves of the oak trees that lined the streets rustled gently in the wind.

You fell with a loud and heavy thud on your bottom, feeling the leaves crunch noisily under your weight. Fear and trepidation coursed through your veins as you stared with eyes wide at your tormentors.

“Look at her, she looks pathetic. Do it, Johnny! Do it!”

A tall, hunkering boy flanked by his cronies stood over you, his dark, massive shadow engulfing you as you frantically scrambled backwards. Tears were beginning to stream down your face and a sharp pain shot up your spine with each move, owing to the impact of the fall. There were scratches on your hands as you dragged your palms over the rough gravel in an attempt to move away.

There was a malicious glint in Johnny’s eyes and his lips were curved into a devious smirk as he stared down at you, domineering and intimidating. The veins in his arms and hands were bulging angrily and as he clenched his fists, you felt your stomach sink. Your legs began to feel like jelly and your vision was beginning to blur from all the salty tears. You were struck with fear and the sense of helplessness you felt made you feel both ashamed and furious at yourself yet there was nothing you could do.

You held your hand up to shield yourself from the impending attack as the bully lifted up his fist.

“Hey! How about you pick on someone your own size?!”

The group of you turned to see Jaehyun, eyes blazing with anger as his chest heaved. His wind-swept hair hung over his eyes, a surefire sign that he’d run over and his cheeks were red from exertion. Even from afar, he was clearly no match to Johnny’s larger build, much less the whole lot of them.

“J-Jaehyun?” You spluttered, shocked.

“Who is this clown- Ow!” Johnny stumbled backwards as a rock pebble hit him on the head, promptly ricocheting off his forehead and bouncing onto the ground. His jaw was clenched in pain and when he removed his palm, a reddish bruise had blossomed and there was even a faint trace of blood. There was a split second of stunned silence before Johnny turned almost magenta with rage.

“GET HIM!” He roared and his cronies shook out of their daze, immediately going after Jaehyun who’d already ran a good distance before the reality of what had just happened set in. His mocking laugh rang through the afternoon amidst a cackle of profanities and threats yelled at him.

It was a laugh that remained in your memories all these years. It was a laugh that strengthened you, a laugh that spoke so much of willful courage and youthful rebellion which was everything you’d eventually come to associate with Jaehyun. That laugh was bright and so… him.

Yet now, you could see none of that playful mischief and vibrancy in those eyes. All that is left is emptiness.

“You’re not a loser, Jaehyun,” you began softly, “you never were in my eyes. You were a fighter.”

Those beautiful eyes you adored so much narrowed at you, his face twisted into a scowl.

“A fighter? Guess what, y/n?” He sneered, his voice dripping with venom. “I fought. I fought endlessly but did that work out for me? I threw in everything I could, every little thing. I worked hard and put in a hundred and one percent of my effort.”

You stared at him, your heart aching for him as a single tear began to roll down his cheek, tears of anger, indignation and pain.

“But did that work out? No, it didn’t. If anything, it left me a wreck. People out there call me a loser, a has-been and even my girlfriend has left me. It doesn’t matter how much effort I put in, how much I fought because at the end of the day, everyone is only here because of what they think I am. They saw me as a champion, an up and coming and the moment I wasn’t anymore, they all dropped me in a heartbeat. What are you waiting for, y/n? Why the hell are you even still here?”

His words echoed through the empty apartment and out loud, it sounded bleak, harsh and biting. His anguished voice tore at your heart and as each word left those lips, it felt like your heart was slowly breaking apart. Neither of you said anything for a moment, locked in a silent, unspoken fight as he held your gaze steadily. His eyes were cold and there was the look of a broken man in them.

“I am here because I love you, Jaehyun,” you said finally, your voice quivering. “I don’t care who or what you are and it pains me to see you tear yourself down like this because I know you are not the loser you believe you are. I don’t know how much of this I can take, seeing you ruin yourself.”

You can see the slight softening in his eyes and you gritted your teeth.

“I’m going to go. I don’t know when I’ll be back. I can’t see you ruin yourself and be able to do nothing about it. I’m not strong enough for that.”

With that, you left the apartment before he could see the tears in your eyes.

The miserable, empty can of beer clattered loudly against the hardwood floor, the sound echoing through the dank apartment.

Jaehyun barely lifted an eyebrow, his fingers growing slack without him even knowing. He stared up at the dark ceiling, a hooded look in those once bright eyes. The stench that hung around him was growing more intense by the day and it was reaching a point whereby he could almost smell himself but there was nothing in him that seemed to care.

Sounds of active civilisation outside drifted in through the windows and occasionally, he’d hear the honking of angry drivers on the roads or the laughter of children playing at the playground at the courtyard below. Normally, he loved waking up to these sounds or at least when he wasn’t off to the race tracks, when he was relaxing with a book in his hands. Now however, he found them irksome, irritating and he wanted nothing more but to block them out. He wanted absolutely zero reminder of the world outside.

Grunting, Jaehyun dragged himself off the couch. As he trudged heavily back to his room where his comfortable bed beckoned to him, he turned to stare at the large, imposing front door where moments ago, you’d slammed shut as you left him to his own devices.

Guilt tugged at his heart and for a split second, Jaehyun contemplated running after you. When you left, there was an indescribable sense of hollowness that engulfed him in a way that he couldn’t quite understand or explain. The apartment was filthy, dark and small but somehow with you around just a few minutes ago, it felt just a little bigger, a little warmer. As much as he hated to admit it, his heart was calling to him to reach out to you, run after you. The crumpled look on your face haunted him but he shook the thought from his mind.

It would be better if you left him. If you knew what was good for you, you would.

The anger in him was beginning to resurface at the thought of everything that had happened over the past few months. His career plummeting on a downward spiral right after his recovery, the exact opposite of what was predicted by his agent.

He was born to race, his family and his friends had always told him so. He knew it himself, he could feel it in his blood, his bones, his spirit. Ever since he was little, Jaehyun had known that his career would have something to do one way or another with racing. As a child, he loved running, competing but most of all, he loved riding in his father’s pickup truck on the way to school. He loved the way the vehicle would zoom past the streets, overtaking other vehicles and he loved the feeling of the wind against his face. He loved the speed and everything about cars or racing. It felt natural for him to pursue a career in competitive racing and a natural he was.

After getting signed with a racing company, Jaehyun quickly rose to fame with his numerous championships, bagging trophies, medals and cash prizes in almost every event he participated in. Sports magazines and reporters would clamour over each other to score an interview with him. People wanted pictures with him, wanted him to sign an autograph for them.

He was the golden boy in the racing world, an untouchable.

In the racing world, everything goes a mile a minute and nothing waits for anyone. After the morbid crash at the June Tokyo Prix, Jaehyun had sustained several fractures to his ribs and a severe concussion that left him in the hospital’s intensive care unit bedridden for several months. The pain was unlike any other and every single move hurt immensely but what suffered more damage than he did was his career and his relationships.

Within months, the racing career he had so painstakingly built up for himself collapsed before him. Due to long inactivity, brands and sponsors began to drop him, slowly at first then steadily one by one. He was also constantly under the media’s scrutiny for a period of time, their cameras and microphones thrusted in his face while he lay helpless on the hospital bed. The bright flashes blinded him and the loud noises made his head pound and even now, he still remembered how that experience was like, shuddering every time it crossed his mind. It had taken Jaehyun countless hours of physical therapy before he could even think of racing competitively again.

Yet when he did, he quickly realised he never could revert back to his old self, the one who got off on adrenaline kicks while zooming along the tracks at breakneck speed, the one who only knew what it was like to win. He was slower, less coordinated. His body could no longer take the pressure racing would subject it too, or at least not quickly enough for him to make a full, stunning comeback.

The tabloids and news had run wild with his fall from grace, writing up horrible, demeaning articles about him. His rivals had mocked him to his face and he could even sense the visible disappointment from his fans emanating from the stands whenever he’d lost yet another race. The thing that really broke the camel’s back however, was when his girlfriend Jeongyeon initiated a breakup.

Jaehyun had hoped that things would turn for the better, never one to give up. He’d trained tirelessly everyday, pushing his brittle body to the limit. He never let up on himself, gritting his teeth through all the physical and mental pressure he had imposed on himself. When the final text was sent, Jaehyun could remember distinctly how hopeless and distraught he’d felt. It felt like his world, the empire he had so painfully and relentlessly crafted for himself from scratch was breaking bit by bit. To add salt to the wound, the next time he’d seen her on television, her body was plastered against his biggest rival, Yuta. Her arms were wrapped around his and her lips pressing against his cheeks with no shame whatsoever for the interviewer interviewing him, no sign of the girl who’d once told him that she loved him with all her heart.

What was once determination and naive hopefulness soon devolved into anger and resentment. Jaehyun began to let himself go and the change was drastic. Where there once existed a time whereby he’d rise from his slumber early to visit the gym, he now regularly slept well into the late afternoon. His diet began to consist largely of takeout, junk food and alcohol and his apartment got more and more cluttered by the day. He’d stopped contacting his friends and family, ignoring their calls and texts, preferring to fester in his own solitude. It wasn’t long before an odour had started to emit from his place, a nauseating mixture of stale pizza, beer and pure filth from the lack of showers.

His appearance was also no longer polished, but rather haggard as if he’d aged five years in a matter of months. He was beginning to lose his fit stature, the healthy glow he’d once been prized on by magazines and gossip columns dimming. It got to a point whereby Jaehyun had begun to avoid looking at his hideous reflection in the mirror, his self-hatred growing with each day.

A poster of him in his racing gear and his race car was tattered and wrinkled on the floor, stained with ketchup and soda. Staring at it blankly with eyes empty of any emotions whatsoever, Jaehyun swiped it up and in a swift moment, he tore it up with a large rip before trashing it somewhere on the floor.

Flopping onto his comforter, he almost moaned in pleasure as he sunk into the soft sheets. Reaching for the air conditioning control, a loud smack on the ground roused him from his hedonistic haze. His hair was sticking up in all directions as he peered over the edge of his bed to see a picture frame that had fallen from his night stand.

Holding it in his hands, he looked at it with a nonchalant air.

It was a picture of the both of you a few years ago, back when he was just kick starting his racing career. He hadn’t yet made a name for himself then as the two of you leaned in for the picture.

You had on a bright, illuminating beam on your face, your eyes alive and glittering with happiness. Your hair was down, wisps of it framing your face as the sun brought out the colour and shine of it. Next to him, you’d completely dwarfed in comparison. He had his arm around you, bringing you to his side and from the picture, Jaehyun could feel a smile begin to crack on his face at the comical height difference.

He’d looked completely at ease here, carefree with the recklessness and restlessness of the soul beneath shining through his dark eyes. His hair was wavy, styled down in that ridiculous fashion he wanted so badly to leave back in high school. He had worn a dimpled smile on his face, the look of someone who knew he was destined for greatness and believed in it.

Jaehyun was about to put the picture down when something caught his eye. He leaned in closer.

There was something about you. At first glance, it would have been clear that you were smiling for the camera but upon closer look, it looked as if you might be smiling at him instead. Your smile was softer, eyes gentler from the first time he’d seen the picture. It was the sort of smile that struck him in his heart, the kind of smile that would make its recipient feel loved, appreciated.

“I want to be a racer when I grow up.”

You turned to Jaehyun, eyes wide as saucers as you popped the ice popsicle out of your mouth.

“Why?”

He shrugged, still struggling with the wrapper of the popsicle. The two of you sat on the wooden bench, side by side as the other kids ran around the park, playing rounds of tag while their parents or babysitters sat watching over them. The sun was glaring down on the earth and though it was a great day to go out to play and sweat it out, it was also a perfect day to find an excuse to buy popsicles with what little pocket money your parents had given to you two. It wasn’t an opportunity to be missed.

“I really like racing. I don’t know if there’s anything else I’d want to be,” he said simply, grinning as he finally succeeded in breaking open the plastic.

You tried to hide the blush that was beginning to creep up to your cheeks, looking away from him.

“My mom says being a doctor is good.”

As soon as you said it, you immediately regretted your words. Jaehyun scrunched up his nose in disgust.

“No way! It’s so boring. Do you want to be a doctor?”

Quickly, you shook your head fervently. “No!”

“Then what do you want to be?” He asks curiously, sucking on his popsicle.

You are quiet for a while as you ponder over his question. What exactly do you want to be when you grow up?

“...A writer.” You said finally and he swiveled around to look at you, clearly not expecting your answer.

“A writer? Hm, why?”

“I just really like reading. I want to write interesting stories that people will like,” you take a tentative lick of your popsicle, the icy, sweet taste of apple flavouring coating your tongue, “Like fairytales!”

Jaehyun broods over your answer, seemingly deep in thought. For a moment, neither of you say another word as you sit together under the warm, sunny day, enjoying your popsicles.

“I want people to like me too.” He says suddenly, his eyes shining. “People will like my racing! I’m going to be a racer and people will like me to win!”

He hops to his feet, his popsicle raised as he made his declaration. There is a triumphant, toothy smile on his face and he says it with so much hope and gusto that you can’t help but feel drawn to his driven spirit. For a boy of five foot, there was a lot of motivation and energy in him and there was just something about him that got you transfixed.

Under the sunlight, his smile seemed almost blindingly bright with the shadows highlighting the charming dimples on those round cheeks. The butterflies in your stomach were going crazy and your heart began to pound. Your words seemed stuck in your throat and you choked out, “I t-think you’ll make a good racer, J-Jaehyun.”

You thought your heart might burst as his smile grew wider, his dimples making deeper indentations. It felt like the sun might just be a little too hot since your face felt like it was positively flaming.

“Thank you, y/n.”

Suddenly, something caught your eye and shakily, you pointed at him.

His smile dropped as his eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“What?”

“Y-your popsicle is m-m-melting… down your a-arm.”

The elevator button made an uncharacteristic squeaking sound as Jaehyun jabbed repeatedly at it, his jaw clenched in impatience.

“Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up,” he muttered frantically under his breath, pacing the lift lobby. The red letters above the elevator were moving at a snail’s pace and it seemed as if it’s stopped to pick up some passengers on the 5th floor. How long does it take for people to move into an elevator?

Jaehyun groaned in annoyance as he watched the number on the display crawl up slowly.

This wouldn’t do. By the time it’s here, it would be too late.

Immediately, he sprinted for the stairs instead, his heart hammering against his chest.

There was great fanfare as the rowdy crowd erupted into raucous cheers, the large, industrial sized party poppers going off with a bang, covering everyone in glitter streamers and confetti. Cameras were flashing and clicking away at every corner while throngs of sports reporters flooded the holding area, all trying to reach the champions for their coveted exclusive interviews. Agents and pit crews were all celebrating with the sound of champagne bottles popping and yells and cheers of congratulations ringing through the air.

Jaehyun stood at the top of the podium, shooting the cameras his trademark stunning grin as he posed with his golden trophy that looked to be about the size of his torso. The racing suit he was wearing was uncomfortably hot and he wanted nothing more than to strip from it but the adrenaline and euphoria he was experiencing far surpassed any feelings of discomfort.

This was it, the taste of success. It was everything he lived for, raced for. This was why he always trained so hard, from dawn to dusk. This was why he put his own body through all those hours of endurance training, gym and dieting. It was all for this single moment of true bliss enjoyed and savoured after the extreme thrill of racing. Here on the podium, towering above everyone else… He was truly where he needed to be, where he was born to be.

As he stepped off and the bodyguards swarmed in to escort him to his own holding room, Jaehyun couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. Yet another trophy for display on his shelf back in his apartment. He didn’t think he’d ever get sick of it, the feeling of winning but then again who would?

Reporters were attempting to accost him at all sides, all screaming out the same old questions he had grown tired of early on.

“How do you feel after winning the prix for the third year running?”

“You hit a record timing today! How did you train for the race?”

“What do you have to say to your rival, Nakamoto who came in second this year? By a mere few seconds at that!”

Jaehyun nodded and waved at a few of them, still wearing a smile on his face but there was no answer evoked from him. He’d kept up a calm and cool demeanour throughout but once he was in his holding room alone, the moment the door closed shut behind him, he let out a loud, jubilant howl.

“Fuck yes!” He roared out in happiness before collapsing onto the couch, laughing to himself as he held his trophy above him. He badly needed a shower but he couldn’t care less, not with the trophy in his hands. Under the light, the gold shone and even as a seasoned racer, the excitement and happiness from winning never grew old. In the empty room, the victory felt even more profound, the reality of claiming the championships for yet another year sinking in.

He was in the middle of celebrating and basking in his own victory, he received a text.

Jy: how’s my man doing? congratulations on the win honey ❤️

Jae: thanks babe, it feels fucking amazing. you have no idea… also i missed you so much

Jy: we should celebrate. together, alone. tonight at my place? ;) we haven’t done it in awhile, i miss your body, your kisses

Jaehyun stared at the text. He should be happy, excited to see Jeongyeon again after so long. He had been so preoccupied with training for the big race that he’d barely had any time for her. He had missed her yet now that they were finally exchanging texts again after so long apart, he didn’t seem to feel the same anticipation.

There was something about that text she sent that seemed weirdly… detached. He had imagined their first interaction in over a month to be one that warmed him up in the inside, brought him to a whole new level of euphoria even after winning but if anything, this reality paled in comparison to the scenario he had looked forward to in his mind.

Jae: yeah sure

After pressing send, he tossed his phone onto the coffee table and rested his head against the velvety cushion of the couch. Somehow, that very short exchange with Jeongyeon had dimmed his excitement and readiness to celebrate.

His phone suddenly rang, disrupting him from the reverie he’d found himself in.

“Must be Jeongyeon,” he thought to himself and for some reasons as he swiped to answer the call, he found himself reluctant to talk.

“Hello?”

“Jung Jaehyun! I was watching your race on television, congratulations for coming in first yet again! You were terrific out there.”

Y/n.

Jaehyun smiled, feeling his heart swell at your words.

“Thanks, y/n. I really appreciate it.”

“How about we meet for dinner tonight? I know of this amazing Italian place that serves the best lasagna, your favourite! My treat too to celebrate your win, how’s that?”

At the mention of lasagna, Jaehyun could feel his stomach rumbling and his mouth watering. The tangy tomato sauce, copious amounts of cheese and spiced minced beef with soft pasta… He would absolutely be down for some well-deserved lasagna after weeks of feasting on plain, watery salads. Dinner sounded like a great idea.

“Sure, I- Wait, I can’t,” he groaned, suddenly remembering his plans with Jeongyeon. Plans he didn’t even particularly look forward to.

“Why not?” You asked.

“I um…”

Fuck, why is it so hard to say it?

“I have plans with Jeongyeon tonight,” he said, ignoring the strange pang of guilt and indignation that hit him square in the chest.

“Oh! Oh, uh… That’s completely fine. Don’t worry about it, we can always have dinner some other day.”

“Really? That would be great! How does next week sound?”

“Sounds good to me!” Even on call, he could imagine you bobbing your head enthusiastically like you usually did and that brought a chuckle out of him.

“Alright, I’ll see you then y/n.”

“See you! Please rest well, you deserve it.”

“Thank you,” he replied before hanging up.

What is this warm feeling in him?

Jaehyun raced out of the apartment complex, his eyes searching his surroundings.

The sun was glaring and he couldn’t see straight without squinting his eyes. He must have been a weird sight to behold - scruffy, pale from the lack of the outdoors and reeking of the garbage piled up in his apartment. An elderly woman walking past him tutted disapprovingly at his disheveled appearance, holding her nose as she did but Jaehyun didn’t seem to notice her. His mind was on something else, something more important.

A boy from across the street was staring at him with his mouth agape, looking like a deer caught in headlights as he shakily fumbled in his pockets for his phone. Jaehyun let his sights linger on him, wondering if he should have at least thrown on a coat but as he turned, he caught sight of a figure hanging by the bus stop, looking miserable.

He swallowed thickly, feeling the slight clench of his heart and without hesitating a single second longer, he made his way over.

The heart monitor’s methodical beating was driving him near insanity. If not that, then certainly the suffocating atmosphere of the hospital and the bandages wrapped tightly around almost every single inch of his body would. Not to mention the occasional undercover paparazzi who would try to inch their way into his ward.

Jaehyun stared up at the white ceilings, still as a plank. Every part of his body hurt to move, he couldn’t even turn his head without feeling a painful pounding in it. Sometimes, he would get dizzy spells so intense he actually felt nauseous. His appetite for food or anything in general had since plummeted. Everything, but racing.

He yearned to go out there onto the tracks, to resume his training. The Roman Prix is coming up in a month’s time and he was so far from ready. He needed to get out of this place as soon as possible, even if it meant jeopardising his own safety. His career mattered more than anything.

Jeongyeon hadn’t called either since the day he got admitted. Jaehyun had soon grown tired of checking his messages or asking his publicist for news from her, the feeling of disappointment felt deep within him. He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling a wave of fatigue wash over him.

There was a gentle knock on the door and as the door creaked slightly open, you poked your head in. Upon seeing him, you smiled softly and made your way over to him. Jaehyun watched you approach, his eyes following you.

You had brought along a basket with you, seemingly full of items. As much as he wanted to know what you’d brought, he tried not to look overeager. “I made you something special today,” you said, settling down and practically vibrating with excitement.

“What?”

“Tomato minestrone soup!” You exclaimed, uncovering the lid as the tantalising aroma of tomatoes and a medley of vegetables drifted in the air. Jaehyun almost had to restrain himself from moving, lest he shift a bone out of place somewhere.

Somehow seeing you had sparked a certain kind of joy in him. Maybe it was a sign nobody had really forgotten about him yet. He had watched his number of visitors trickle down day by day and now that it was close to a month since he’d been hospitalised, after the tragic accident, he barely got any. Perhaps three or four a week if he was lucky.

You, however, you were different. You visited him almost every other day, no matter how busy you were. You visited his bedside even if you were worn out from a long day of work, even when you had things to attend to, even when no one else bothered to. You would bring along snacks whenever you did or homemade get-well food like fish porridge or chicken noodle soup you’d whipped up yourself, though they might be far from the usual gourmet fare he was used to back when he was still active when he would go for exquisite dinner parties. Usually, you stayed for a substantial amount of time and sometimes, you even stayed the night.

Jaehyun didn’t understand why you would do all of this for a friend, a friend who never seemed to have time to spare for you at that. More than anything, the feeling of guilt in him only grew stronger with each visit yet he was grateful, extremely grateful. Your presence was like a warm ray of sunshine in this dreary hospital ward. Whenever you visited, he couldn’t help but smile even though he could not find it in himself to smile. But when it came to you, it felt natural.

“Y/n!”

At the sound of Jaehyun’s voice, you turned and even from afar, he could see your reddened eyes - a surefire sign you’d been crying. Guilt and anger washed over him in waves and he tried not to think how many times he had been the cause of your tears. If only he could turn back time, he would have shook himself for ever dismissing you so lightly like he did, before he saw the situation for what it was.

He was blinded. Blinded by his obsession for winning, fame, glory and pleasing the wrong people. In a way, it felt like a fog had been lifted before him and now that he could see, think, feel clearly… He wasn’t going to let the right person out of his grasp. The person who loved him unconditionally, not just for his fame and achievements. The person who stuck with him through thick and thin but he was just too daft to notice it. The person who always felt like home whether he knew it or not.

You.

“Jaehyun? W-What are you…” You spluttered, desperately trying to wipe your tears from your face as you stared up at him.

It took a couple of seconds for him to regain his breath, his face turning red from embarrassment and exertion. He should really start leaving those beers and junk food alone.

“I…” He panted, both out of fatigue and relief, “We need to talk.”

“Jung is getting closer, any minute now Hendery!”

“I don’t believe this! Are we looking at a potential comeback for this prix? Push, push, push!”

“It seems like we might be! Here he comes! He is absolutely mad!”

The nascars zipped along the race tracks, smoke and some bits of burnt rubber and chipped metal trailing along its wake. They were a blur of colours to the spectators, who were practically glued to their seats as they watched the race reach its climax. A massive telescreen was displaying close ups and the ranking board with huge overhead lights that illuminated the stadium. The crowd was growing wilder by the second as the racecars zoomed past them, their attention fixed on one racer in particular.

The sleek nascar was streaked in royal blue and crimson red over a metallic black base, looking almost purple and black with how fast it was flying across the tracks. The wheels were spinning so fast that the friction between the tough rubber tire and the rough granite almost lit up the tracks. It was charging forward with a steely determination and ruthlessness, closing in rapidly on a green and white nascar ahead of it.

The adrenaline coursing Jaehyun’s veins was unlike any other. The thrill he got from racing could practically send him into an all time high and a cunning grin tugged at his lips as he stepped his foot down hard on the pedal, his hands gripping tightly onto his steering wheel. Rounding around a bend, he clenched his jaw as he pushed his body weight to the left, the muscles in his abdominals and biceps flexing and straining against his racing suit as the car drifted across the tracks in a perfect arc.

“Did you see that perfectly executed drift?! Insanity!”

“Jung is absolutely on fire!”

The thunderous cheers of the crowd and the loud hum of the race cars racing across the tracks faded into the background as he kept his eyes trained steadily forward. Any time now…

“Watch out, Nakamoto,” he whispered under his breath.

Steering his wheel sharply and accelerating much to the crowd’s excitement and trepidation, his race car was now driving side by side along Yuta’s. For a split second, the two turned to look at each other through the window and even though there was no way of seeing the other’s face through that helmet, something in Jaehyun told him that his rival was angered, shocked and… Fearful.

Jaehyun grinned beneath his helmet and without a second thought, he zipped forward, leaving Yuta behind in the smoke.

“He’s going for it, he’s going for it… Wait for it… And he crosses the line! The legend has reclaimed his spot on the top!”

“And that is how you execute one of the greatest comebacks of all time, ladies and gentlemen. Jung has done what we believed to be impossible and dominated the race! I wonder how Nakamoto feels about that?”

The other commentator chuckles into his microphone.

“Well Haechan, if I were him, I’d be pissed off for sure! But I’d also be worried… So very worried.”

The crowd was absolutely wild when he’d disembarked from the car and as he removed his helmet, he was greeted with camera flashes all around him. He shook his head, running a gloved hand over his hair and he took a deep breath. The air smelled of burnt rubber, smoke and… Success.

He had done it. He had made his comeback.

His pit crew made a beeline for him, slapping him on the back, their faces jubilant and lit with pure joy. His new manager, one that he trusted and helped him inch his way back to the top step by step, shot him a thumbs up which he nodded in acknowledgement as the crowd of sports journalists, reporters and photographers began to swarm in on him.

Yet, he paid them no attention. If this was three years ago, he would have basked in the glory, the attention but now he had greater concerns on his mind. His heart was pounding now for a different reason altogether and he could feel his hands growing clammy.

Jaehyun craned his neck and searched the rowdy media crowd. Where were you?

“Jaehyun!”

At your voice, he turned and immediately almost stumbled backwards as you crashed into him for a hug. The feelings of you against him sparked a joy in his heart, a joy almost greater than winning. He enveloped you in a hug, holding your waist as he nuzzled his face into your hair. Your scent of honey and jasmine was intoxicating, alluring and a welcomed change from the smell of smoke and rubble.

The two of you had been dating for about two years now, each day together better than the previous. After he’d caught up with you that day, it was as if you were seeing a different Jaehyun from the one you’d seen in his apartment. That Jaehyun who had caught up with you at the bus stop was the old Jaehyun you’d missed and it was as if a switch somewhere had been flipped. To this day, he had never admitted what changed while you were gone for those few minutes. He had subsequently apologised for everything he’d done, even things you didn’t see a problem with. It was shocking to say the least to see the unapologetic Jaehyun apologise for anything at all, but not more shocking than what entailed a few days later.

It started with a vase of luscious red roses being sent to your workplace followed by an invitation for dinner. Before you knew it, the boy you’d loved almost all your life was courting you with a passion. It felt like a complete dream, so much so you had been afraid to wake up suddenly and realise it was all just your imagination. He’d been more of a romantic than he’d let on and many times, you had found yourself completely smitten by his stunts that stretched from learning how to make homemade chocolates for you on Valentine’s Day knowing that you liked them, even though he was well known as a terrible cook to sending flowers up to your doorstep every other week.

Within a couple of months, the two of you were dating and deeply, wildly in love.

Amidst date nights filled with laughter and kisses, he had also been steadily climbing his way back up the ranks of the racing world. After ditching his unhealthy lifestyle he had been living for the past year, the change was apparent. He’d started hitting the gym, eating healthier and before long, he was in prime condition to start racing again. Training was long and tough but he never did give up. He was more determined and driven than you’d seen him and though the old Jaehyun would have been gutted at a loss, this new, better version of him never fussed over a loss of any kind, instead learning from his mistakes.

All of his efforts had led to this ultimate moment, the taste of victory on his lips.

You noticed he had been shifting uncomfortably and you looked up, puzzled and concerned.

“Jaehyun? You okay?”

He looked at you, his ears red, a sign that he was anxious, nervous.

“Jaehyun? What-”

Your words got stuck in your throat as he knelt down on one knee, the lights overhead bringing out the sparkle in his eyes and the shine in his hair. Those dark orbs were so full of hope, anxiety and love all intermingled in one and you found it difficult to believe that those eyes were looking at you directly, the emotions in them all for you.

Jaehyun withdrew a tiny, velvet box from his pocket and popped it open. In the box, was a tiny diamond ring, glittering and absolutely regal. The diamond itself was beautifully cut and interwoven into the metal band with microfibres of white gold and it simply shone as the camera flashes went off. The crowd was going bonkers, screaming and cheering with wolf whistles.

“Y/n,” he spoke softly, his voice gentle. “You have always been there for me, always been my better half. We have been friends for over a decade and lovers for merely two but it seemed as if we always were meant for each other. It took me so long to realise that and there is not a day I don’t regret not realising it sooner. You are my everything - my past, present and future. Falling in love with you was gradual, unconscious. I guess my heart knew you the one before I even did. It started with me being in a dark, dark place where I drowned in my own self-hatred and insecurities. I was beaten, defeated and I just gave up. Where everyone did the same, you never did. You were like a beam of shining light, shining upon me and guiding me even if I didn’t notice it at the time. But when I did, you glowed even more brightly than I’d envisioned. I’d been oblivious to your beauty both inside and outside for far too long and god knows how much I fucking regret it. I’m different now though, because of you. I am the best version of myself right now because I have you in my life. You taught me how to love, allow myself to be loved. There’s no universe whereby I’d want to be without you. I can’t see myself without you in my life. I need you, I love you.”

Tears were beginning to stream down your face and the stadium had grown quieter, all tuning into what was happening.

Jaehyun looked up at you, hopeful and so full of love that you thought your heart might burst.

“So I guess what I’m saying is, will you marry me, y/n?” He asked breathlessly.

525 notes · View notes

mrkcore · 3 years

Text

𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 - 𝐧.𝐣𝐦

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: na jaemin x f!reader

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: jaemin as DC’s nightwing/dick greyson, hero!jaemin

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you’re the one picking him up, piece by piece, even when you’re gone.

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst, fluff

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): profanity, character deaths, blood, gun use

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.3k (woopwoop!)

𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨: ghost of you - 5sos, lie to me - 5sos, woke up in japan - 5sos, want you back - 5sos, more - 5sos, better man - 5sos, moving along - 5sos, thin white lies - 5sos, red desert - 5sos, lonely heart - 5sos, high - 5sos (just me being 5 seconds of summer trash)

𝐚/𝐧: part of @nct-writers collab, the heartbreak hotel (this is probably the longest fic i’m ever going to write, so pls gimmie feedback i will love you forever)

“imagine you're watching a runaway trolley barreling down the tracks straight towards five workers who you do not know and can't escape. you happen to be standing next to a switch that will divert the trolley onto a second track. here's the problem. that track has a worker on it, too, just one, but they’re not a stranger. what do you do? do you sacrifice that one person to save five?”

jaemin regrets being the hero in the story.

jaemin regrets everything.

he constantly ponders the situation playing out where he wasn’t the protagonist. people have always said, “a hero would sacrifice you to save the planet, but a villain would sacrifice the planet to save you”. jaemin always thought that was bullshit, but now he knows the despairing truth.

he regrets, he regrets, he regrets. but regret won’t bring you back.

you seemed so sure when you told him to let you go and it’d be okay, it wasn’t his fault. how was it so easy for you to think and say that? not his fault? he was basically the reason you’re dead. he just found you after so many years, now you’re gone again; but this time, it’s for real, forever.

jaemin remembers the cold tiny room he was forced to sleep in with the other children in the circus.

it was a nightmare every single day. with kids screaming, singing, laughing, and running around the room, nobody could get any sleep. what made it worse was that jaemin had no one to talk to.

none of the other boys liked him, being handsome, dubbed the “face of haly’s circus”, always talking behind your back how the boss always favoured him because he was bringing so many more views in. girls swarming around jaemin ever since him and his parents ever joined, it was so obvious that he was the most popular. jaemin never liked the attention, he was only trying to survive after all.

then, you arrived.

y/n, the confounding witch, they called you.

conjuring up little tricks for audience members, brewing up drinks to transform participants into different species of animals, and controlling birds in cages were only a few acts you could do.

the first day boss introduced you to everyone, you seemed so bright and excited to be joining. your unique eye smile, bubbly personality, and caring nature drew jaemin to you. he’s seldomly trying to calm the younger kids down so everyone can rest, but your patience and compassion towards the kids were something they weren’t used to, and eventually caved in.

soon, it became quieter in that god awful room jaemin always dreaded. but jaemin's heart beat louder in his chest than ever.

jaemin was never one to show off. like we established before, the attention jaemin got was not appreciated by him. except, it became different when you arrived.

he was constantly trying to impress you, sway you, hoping the things he did for the crowds of girls that rushed to buy tickets to see him, would work for you too.

however, that was just his wishful thinking.

you were unlike any of the interactions jaemin had with the opposite gender. you were confident, yet humble, witty, intelligent, and easy-going. he is constantly flustered whenever he is engaging in a conversation with you, but tries to act nonchalant whenever he knows you’re nearby.

after shows, girls screamed and bolted towards the entrance where jaemin stood for exit duty, to say goodbye to patrons. he’d always try to be paired with you for it, trying to make you jealous.

but of course that never happened. jaemin would always be trampled by his enthusiastic female supporters, as surges of them stopped to interact with him. flirting with them all at the same time, they all swooned over your charms. he’d always see you giggle, laughing at his bursts of confidence he’d never have with you by yourselves.

this continued for a year, until one day, you let something slip.

“ladies, ladies, i’m so glad you could join us for today.” jaemin smiled at the groups in front of him, glancing at you walking an elderly couple out of the tent. “make sure to take good care of yourselves, wouldn’t want anything happening to any of you sweet gals.” and cue the squeals.

“hope you had fun pretty boy.” you directed to him calmly, as you walked back into the circus. jaemin’s head snapped to stare at your back. he’s stunned, did you just call him a “pretty boy”?

remembering that the crowd in front of him was still there, he reacted quickly.

“i guess it’s time for me to go, i’ll catch you lovely girls at my next show, i hope.” he leaves with a wink, following your path straight towards you.

finding you in your little assigned room, jaemin barged in, gaze fixated right on you, not even thinking what to say.

“oh, jaemin, hey.” you say, not even batting an eye, you’re focused on the book in your hands. “what’s up?”

“you called me pretty boy.” he breathed out.

“yeah i did,” you’re still not paying attention to him. “what about it?”

“you think i’m pretty?” jaemin is suddenly very close to you, his hand caressing your face, lifting your line of sight up to meet his gaze.

his eyes are sparkling, cheeks a slight tint of pink, with a look of determination. of course you thought he was pretty, anyone who said otherwise would either be lying, or have never seen his gorgeous face.

jaemin must’ve been acting impulsively, because when he realized how close he was to your face, he immediately pulled back.

“i am so sorry,” he says in disbelief. “i don’t know what came over me.”

“it’s okay,” you smile at him, grabbing his hand to where it was before. “i liked it.”

jaemin is flustered again, standing completely frozen as he admires your face up close.

you’re breathtakingly beautiful. he’s known that you were attractive, but this just created even more butterflies in his stomach.

“and yes, i do think you’re pretty.” you wink at him.

and that’s where it started.

you and jaemin started spending time together more.

jaemin was still a bit nervous and frenzied at the beginning, but that melted away, and his flirty, outgoing, and annoyingly confident side was revealed to you.

you were also quite popular amongst the other boys in the circus, so when you two were seen more frequently together, they started spreading rumours about jaemin to get you two away from each other.

“oh jaemin’s just trying to use them.”

“jaemin thinks after getting with them, he’s going to cross all of the names off his list.”

“he’s such a player, y’n’s too good for him.”

of course you’d hear them more often than him, the guys would always say these kinds of things around you.

but you know they’re just trying to stir up trouble. so you ignore them.

just like how jaemin ignores the talk about you amongst his female supporters.

“she’s trying to take him away from us.”

“he’s not as happy anymore.”

“she thinks she’s all that, he’s probably just a new notch in her belt.”

of course jaemin would never listen to them. they’d never know about the secrets you had together, sneaking out of your rooms and sitting on the roof at night stargazing, your note exchanging, late night talks; they knew none of that.

“i wish things weren’t like this,” you sighed, leaning on his shoulder as you two look at the early sunrise. “i wish we could be free and do whatever we want. this is so unfair.”

jaemin has never really thought about that. every day, his head was flooded with you. but now he thinks about it, it truly was unfair.

jaemin wishes he could take you on on real dates, take you on meaningful trips to explore the rest of the world. not hidden in this awful place where you could barely talk to each other in public. jaemin wishes he could give you more.

“it’s not your fault nana,” you look up at him like you’ve read his mind and know he’s overthinking. “there’s nothing you can do.”

“yeah,” jaemin exhales. “i know.” he tries to smile when you reach up to caress his face, you look at him with so much fondness, jaemin’s worries are almost all blown away. but you know he’s going to be pondering about this for the next week.

“maybe this just how it’s meant to be, our wicked fate.”

but all the gossip got to the point where the boss heard about it, and asked you guys to talk in his office.

“i think we should end it here.” you say one night on the roof, seemingly out of the blue.

“what?” jaemin is speechless, where did that come from? did he hear you wrong?

“he literally asked us to talk,” you’re facing the ground, not even daring to look at him. “it’s serious this time.”

“so you’re going to just throw all of this away?” jaemin asks, slightly furious. “just because of what a bunch of losers are saying?”

“it’s for the best,” you’re still not looking at him. “for the both of us.”

when you finally do look up to see jaemin’s reaction, you see tears in his eyes and you wish you hadn’t looked up.

“fine, if that’s what you want.” jaemin turns around and walks away, breaking that silence.

but what jaemin didn’t know was that it broke your heart to pieces. it took you so much courage to break it off with him, but in the end, you knew what boss haly was capable of. you needed to protect him, so if this is how it needed to go, it’s for the best.

the meeting the next day went smoothly, it was easy for both of you to deny everything since jaemin was giving you the cold shoulder. you didn’t need to pretend. it was for the sake of the both of you.

after the meeting, you didn’t get the chance to talk to jaemin as he rushed to get ready for his special act today. but it’s not like he would listen to you anyways, you couldn’t blame him.

you felt the aura of the circus today, it felt off. very off.

maybe it was because you were so shaken by you and jaemin's fight. maybe it was nothing, and you were just overreacting. everything was probably fine.

except it wasn’t.

as all of the spectators settled into their seats, when you tried to peak through the curtain to see the turnout, and as expected, it was packed.

but something catches your eye. a black raven flies in, the ambience in the tent suddenly changes so fast if gives you whiplash. this isn’t good. this isn’t good at all. something bad is going to happen, really bad.

you’ve never seen that bird in your entire life, and it suddenly hits you.

someone is going to die tonight.

you pray and pray it’s going to be fine, but the unsettling energy gets to you. you need to tell someone.

“jaemin, jaemin!” you call out to him. he turns around, but when he sees you, his face turns sour. your heart sinks, but what you’re about to tell him is more important, so you brush it away.

“what do you want.” he snarls, you gulp back a sob.

“something bad’s going to happen, i can feel it.” tears are threatening to spill out of you eyes. “someone’s going to die, and i don’t know what to do.”

“oh, so now you care?” jaemin rolls his eyes. “are you jealous that it’s my show tonight and all of those girls front row are here to see me and think they have a chance with me?” you’re shocked by his words, your eyes are wide. you never thought he was capable of saying something like that. “you’re just a little witch, and it’s all just an act. let it go.” tears stream down your face as jaemin huffs and walks away, strutting into the crowd as the ringmaster announces their act: “the flying greysons!”.

and jaemin was wrong. you were right. something awful happened that day.

jaemin watches helplessly as his parents’ high wires snaps and they pummel to their death.

you were right. and he couldn’t do anything about it.

jaemin runs away that night as he leaves you in that horrible place by yourself, and you never see him again.

and here jaemin is. 10 years after the incident, a college student by day, leader of a crime fighting superhero team by night.

after the incident of his parents’ death, mr. jung jaehyun finds him on his path. crying, sobbing, and vulnerable. jaehyun takes jaemin in under his wing. providing him shelter, food, and as much support as he could. jaemin slowly realized jaehyun’s second identity: batman.

jaemin has heard of jaehyun’s street name. but he’d never thought that he’d meet him in real life, and batman would be someone so similar to him. jaehyun saw a reflection of his younger self, the grief of losing your parents, the reality check of the world being a cruel place at a young age, he didn’t want jaemin to spiral in the same way he did.

so even though jaemin lived a life of normalcy, his past never stopped coming back to haunt him.

especially you.

jaehyun dug up some information about the circus, and piles and piles of their dark secrets were revealed. so did the truth of jaemin’s parents’ deaths too. how a well-known and feared crime-lord, threatened the circus unless the owner paid extortion money. boss haly refused, and that night someone messed with the equipment for the performance, resulting in the catastrophe.

you were right all along, and jaemin didn’t listen to you. it was his fault, everything was his fault.

he even left you there by yourself, all alone, and he never got to say goodbye. oh how wishes he could see you one last time, and say all those things he wanted to these years.

nightmares woke him throughout elementary school, middle school, high school, and even sometimes during his college time.

the same dream over and over, you reaching your hand out for jaemin to grab and save, but he’s too far away. and you fade away.

inspired by what jaehyun did to help him, jaemin started to do the same.

with a bunch of lost and uncared for young kids in new york, jaemin took them under his wing like jaehyun did with him.

with help from trusted individuals he met on the street, mark, renjun, jeno, and haechan, they started to take care of chenle and jisung full time. getting them off the street, given proper shelter, food, water, clean clothes, and access to education, this was the start of the dreamies.

today was the same as any other.

jaemin’s philosophy and law studies class has just finished up and he’s walking to his favourite cafe to finish up some work.

“jaemin?” he hears a familiar voice behind him.

he turns around and sees you. you haven’t changed a bit, still as homely and comforting as he can remember.

is he in a dream right now? how is this possible?

“oh gosh, it really is you.” you laughed, the same laugh you had. jaemin feels this unknown warmth and reassurance with you here, like a weight has just been lifted off his shoulders.

“y/n.” he finally speaks. your eyes glimmer, looking at him affectionately.

“yep, right here in the flesh.” jaemin starts tearing up. “oh you big baby, why are you crying?”

jaemin pulls you in as he hugs your waist.

surprised by his emotional state, you were going to speak up again. but you choose not to. standing there, a bit awkwardly, stroking his soft hair, embracing him.

and you’re back.

jaemin learns that you recently moved to new york city recently for your journalist job position, and you’re looking for a place to move in to.

he’s quick to offer his place, even though he’s still in college, his apartment is big enough for two people.

“are you sure?” you’re hesitant to accept his suggestion. “i don't want to be a big burden. you’re probably really busy as a student.”

“no, i’m fine.” he responds, enthusiastically. “my schedule is pretty much free since i’m third year now.”

and you accept. saying you’re only going to crash for a while until you found another place.

cherishing the time you had together, during the day, jaemin went to his lectures while you went to work, but when you got home, you did everything together. to the point where jaemin barely saw the dreamies, his crime-fighting crew.

staying up to watch the stars and sunrise, talking and laughing until your eyes were threatening to close. conversing about literally anything.

but as time went by, you noticed that jaemin didn’t really want to talk about what happened back at the circus. you understood since he lost his parents that night, but he never asked you about how you left and ended up in new york. but you don’t push it, you understand that it’s a rough patch in both of you guys’ lives.

“do you have anything that you regret?” you ask one night, you truly were just curious.

“not listening to you that night.” he says, monotone. “and leaving you by yourself at the circus when i ran away.”

“jaemin…” you start, but no words leave your mouth.

“fuck!” jaemin abruptly exclaims, mood crashing, turning furious. “it’s all that bastard haly’s fault.”

you shouldn’t have asked.

“if he didn’t make that fucking circus, everything would have been fine! it’s his fault, all his fault, i’m going to get revenge and kill that son-of-a-bitch one day!” he’s yelling now. “we could have met in normal circumstances, we could’ve gotten married, created a family, enjoyed life like all of these snarky city folk. why?”

you wipe the tears that are rolling down his face as he turns to cry in your chest.

“i’m sorry i brought this up.” you pat his head as his sobs turn into soft snores, head in your lap. “maybe this just how it’s meant to be, our cruel fate.”

it’s been a year now. it doesn’t seem like you’re moving out anytime soon, but jaemin’s not complaining. he loves having you here, you’ve become a standard part of his day.

with jaemin more adapted to your appearance, he has started to become more involved with the dreamies.

helping 10-15 kids each month, the squad has advanced to milestones jaemin never thought it’d be at. he is so thankful to have the group and you there supporting him.

you’ve even discussed marriage.

“y/n na has a nice ring to it, y’know.” jaemin beams.

“you’re such a softie.” you giggle out, but jaemin knows you like it.

jaemin knows you want to wait until you have a stable job and when he graduates, but the thought always makes him elated.

“what song would you play for our first dance at out wedding?” he asked one morning, waking up to the sun shining heavenly on you.

“hmm,” you grin. “best part, daniel caesar, h.e.r.”

“you’re perfect.” jaemin kisses your face as you cuddle into his warm chest.

imagining you in a white dress, walking up to the alter on your wedding day, saying your vows, slow dancing. you’re the only person jaemin has visioned a future with, and the only person jaemin wants a future with.

the next day, you agree to slow dance with him in the living room.

jaemin is on cloud nine.

but like the old saying, all good things must come to an end.

it’s been 5 years now.

jaemin comes home one night to the apartment door open, which is really unusual.

jaemin thinks it might be a robbery, but nothing is stolen, the apartment looked the same as it was when he left this morning.

but you’re nowhere to be found. jaemin isn’t panicked, maybe you went on a walk and forgot to close the door–

there’s a note on the dining room table.

“meet me on the top of the empire state building to see y/n, if you bring someone else, it’ll be for the last time.”

what is that supposed to mean?

was it one of the dreamies’ past enemies trying to get back at them?

nonetheless, jaemin is bolting out the door.

when he gets there, he sees the dreamies tied up, sitting and struggling at the feet of someone jaemin never thought he’d see ever again. c.c. haly, the owner of haly’s circus jaemin escaped a whole decade ago.

haly smirks as he sees jaemin approaching, but jaemin is scowling.

“what are you doing here?” jaemin snaps out, carefully advancing.

“i’m here to finish what you started.” haly says.

“how did you even find me?” jaemin snarls, stopping a fair distance between him and haly. “how did you find my friends?”

unexpectedly, haly starts to cackle loudly at his questions. turning around to reveal someone who has been absent, someone jaemin would never have thought of.

you.

jaemin’s mind is internally crashing. why are you with haly? what is going on?

“y/n, do you want to explain to our dear jaemin here what’s going on?” haly finds so much amusement playing with you both, watching this event unfold.

“jaemin, i’m so sorry.” your lips are trembling, tears are starting to flood your vision.

“so it was all a lie?” jaemin can’t believe it. “everything that happened this year, it was just you building up to just stab me in the back?”

“i did it to protect you.” you’re sobbing hard now.

“save it.” jaemin cuts you off, now focusing on haly. “what do you want.”

“i want you dead.” haly says, blankly.

“so what’s the deal.” the dreamies’ mouths were duct taped, but their muffled cries can still be heard.

haly is howling again.

“i get to kill you,” haly grins sinisterly. “and i let y/n and your little friends free.”

“if jaemin says yes, let me say one last thing to him.” your crying has stopped. “it’s the least you can do.”

jaemin is confused. are you just offering him up to haly with no fight? what are you thinking?

you look at him with pleading eyes, asking him to trust you.

the same eyes he saw that day his parents died, and he knows to trust you.

“okay,” jaemin states boldly. “i say yes. now let y/n talk to me.”

haly is stunned. how did you convince jaemin to agree so quick? maybe haly was right to use you this time. the least he could do is to let jaemin and you have time to still pretend to be in love. so haly allows you to walk up to jaemin to talk.

“y/n, what are you doing.” jaemin whispers frantically.

“trust me, trust me this time.” you glance at him with weary eyes. “when i’m walking back to haly, when i signal to you, i want you to grab your friends and run. can you do that for me?”

“what?” jaemin tries not to react to much that haly catches on, but do you hear what you’re suggesting? “you want me to just leave you here again?”

“jaemin listen to me, i’ll be fine. trust me.”

and you turn around, not letting jaemin respond.

there’s nothing he can do but go along with your plan.

and when you signal to him behind your back, jaemin grabs the dreamies and drags them away. everything is a whirlwind and happens in a flash. jaemin looks back and you’re struggling trying to get the gun out of haly’s hand.

you notice jaemin stopping.

“jaemin, fucking RUN.” you scream at him.

there’s nothing he can do. and he hates himself that he got himself in this situation again. so he runs again, like the coward he is.

jaemin runs, because literally the dreamies’ lives are depending on him. when he gets them to safety, when he unties jeno, jeno pushes him towards where they came from.

“go.” jeno is huffing trying to catch his breath after removing the duct tape off his mouth. “i’ll untie everyone else, go get her.”

jaemin looks at jeno, and turns back for you.

when jaemin arrives back at the scene, you’re on the ground. he runs panic-stricken to you, finding you bleeding out really hard.

“y/n? y/n, y/n please, are you okay?” he’s shaking you, distraught seeing you in this state.

“jaemin, i’m okay.” you say, barely any breath left in you. “i have the gun here, haly is behind the big box over there.”

“y/n, what are you talking about, we need to get you to the hospital.” jaemin tries to pick you up but you don’t allow him.

“use the gun and kill him.” you mutter out, quieter than before. “it’s what you wanted, jaemin. and he’ll be gone.” you’re smiling softly just thinking about it.

“y/n, are you insane? you’re going to die i could care less about haly, i’m taking you to the hospital–”

“jaemin let me go.” you mumble, stroking his cheek while you’re examining his pretty face for the last time. “it’ll be okay, it’s not your fault.”

“y/n…” jaemin’s tears are staining his shirt as he holds you tightly, trying to preserve your life.

“i love you, na jaemin.” a tear falls from your dazed gaze and trickles down your cold face. “i’m sorry that this is how it’s meant to be, our cruel fate.”

and you’re gone.

jaemin screams. tears dripping down his face, he picks up the gun beside you and storms towards haly.

he’s basically sitting in a pool of his own blood and has no strength to get up anymore.

“is little greyson here to get revenge for his parents and little witch y/n?” he cackles even in the last moments of his life.

“yeah i am, they didn’t die for you to see another day too.”

haly is laughing sadistically again as if jaemin just told a joke, but the laughter subsides after the bullets fire through haly’s limp body.

and he’s dead too. leaving jaemin alone, again.

it’s been 2 years since you’ve died.

here he is, waking up. still can’t sleep on your side.

he really can’t sleep on your side, because it reminds him of those times where he woke up to your warm embrace, and now it’s desolately cold.

there’s your coffee cup, the lipstick stain fades with time.

he’s saved everything you had, and hasn’t touched anything. he’s also saved everything you shared, your bed, your apartment, everything. he needs those to remind him of those bittersweet memories of you.

when jaemin was going through your stuff, he finds a piece of paper on your work desk.

my dear jaemin,

when you find this, i’m probably going to be gone. but that’s okay, and i’ll tell you why.

first of all, thank you so much for these past 5 years. thank you for showing me what living life is like, what being a part of a family is like, and what being in love is like. you told me you wished you could give me a normal life, and you really fulfilled your wish.

you must have so many questions right now, so i’m going to answer them.

i never left haly’s after you ran away. i couldn’t. because he was threatened by so many mobs and gangs everywhere, he had to kill off the other people that were a part of the circus. but he kept me. because i was the key to you. the government started an investigation into him, and he needed to keep a low-profile, but he still was angry that you didn’t die that night too. so he plotted this for years, and i just had to go along with it.

at first, i only agreed because i wanted to see you. i was young and still naive at the time, thinking that he wanted to see you too. but as i got older, i saw what he was planning. he would kill me in front of you and then take you out as well if i didn’t do as he said, so i kept quiet. i really did this to protect you.

i enjoyed every second being with you. you showed me the meaning of life i heard our patrons talk about. you showed me what true love was when i saw those elderly couples walking together as they look at each other adoringly while telling me they’ve been in love and married for decades. if i could choose to stay with you for a lifetime, i would, i would choose it a million times.

but i thought very long about this, and it truly is the only way.

remember when i asked you if you regretted anything that night? you mentioned how you regretted not listening to me, how you left me alone at the circus. and that’s when i realized, it was indeed our cruel fate.

you feel bad for me. you feel bad that you didn’t listen, you feel bad for leaving me at the circus, but it’s been over a decade. i know with me constantly here, you’re never going to stop feeling guilty, you’d never let the past go. we’re too young, too dumb, to know things like love. but i know better now.

so jaemin, i did what i had to do. the best for the both of us. you got your revenge for your parents, and you’ll stop feeling guilty because i don’t want to hold you back and keep you feeling like this forever.

i’m sorry jaemin i put you through all of this, and reminder that this is not your fault.

my love, nana, truly, truly, truly, thank you for everything. everything, everything, everything.

there wasn’t a single day where i stopped wanting you. i want you in the most innocent form, i want to say goodnight to you and give you forehead kisses and say i love you when you feel at your worst. i want you in ways where i just want to be next to you and nothing more or less. i wish i could explain your eyes, oh how i adore your angel eyes, and how the sound of your voice gives me butterflies. how your smile makes my heart skip a beat and how every time i’m with you, i feel so complete. i swear when our lips touched, i could taste the remaining years of my life. i want you to know that when i picture myself happy, it’s with you.

i’ve looked at you in millions of ways, and i have loved you in every way.

but this is how it’s meant to be, our cruel fate.

my pretty boy, i love you forever.

his tears are ruining the page, and jaemin tries to wipe his tears away to save the letter.

when he turns around, he swears he can see you. and he chases it down, with a shot of truth.

maybe if he dreams long enough, you’d tell him he’d be just fine.

walking into the living room, remembering how you guys would slow dance like it was your wedding. your wedding.

and he drowns it out, like he always does. dancing through your house, with a shot of truth, that his feet don’t dance, like the way they did with you.

jaemin knows your letter was right, he’s going to slowly get better, but he needs some time. meanwhile, he needs something help him cope, to get him by.

so he’s dancing through your house, with the ghost of you.

©mrkcore, 2021.

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igarbagecannoteven · 3 years

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Helllllo you seem like someone who reads a lot of fanfictions so i wanted to ask if you can recommend some cake fanfictions? Rather longer ones than oneshots that you currently like? That’d be awesome 🤲🏻 no worries if not!

ok i typed up an extremely detailed answer to this ask only to accidentally delete it but! hopefully i can remember everything i said (if not i shall commit major crimes) anyways if i’m missing something it’s definitely because of that and not bc i spaced it,,,, okay take 2 answering this ask

hi anon!!! i am so incredibly honored that you appreciate my taste in fic enough to ask me for recs i am all !!! i do need to issue 2 disclaimers b4 i begin: 1) i only started reading 5sos fic this fall so there are def other people who have better knowledge than me and 2) i don’t read explicit fics which limits the amount of fic i read/the ones i can rec. however! i am pretty sure i’m one of the only people who searches for 5sos fic by wordcount instead of pairing so if you’re looking for long(er)fic you’ve come to the right place :)) cake is a rather popular fic at the moment so there’s tons of good fic out there beyond what i’m going to rec here! i’m just going to list a few of my favs and if anyone knows of any good fics i left off feel free to add them! (i’m only going to be recc’ing completed fic as a matter of principle but if other people want to go crazy!) also, since i don’t know what you consider “longer fic” i’m going to put the word counts by each fic so you know what you’re getting into lol (i did make sure none of these recs are under 10k tho) okay with all that being said i guess i’ll dive right in!

if you’re a fan of cake fic you almost definitely know of the incredibly talented unofficial queen of cake @kaleidoscopeminds but just in case you should 100% check out her ao3! she has several longer fics, but my personal favorites are flatmate au (20k), journalist calum/musician luke au (16.8k), and her roadtrip fic (36.6k). they’re all incredibly written and clever and funny (with just the right amount of angst) so if you haven’t checked them out i highly recommend it!

if when you said longfic you *really* meant longfic, then you have to check out vegas au (88.4k) by @emmybazy from all the way back in 2014! it has some absolutely stunning worldbuilding and has a very unique way of framing the plot that i’ve never seen in fic before which made it a very refreshing read for me! if you’re looking to get lost in a fic this is the one for you 😊

moving along to another member of cake royalty, @staticsounds is a brilliant fic writer with loads of cake fics! (you should definitely check out her ao3 if you’re a cake person) my personal favorites of her longer cake fics are her la au (40.4k) and the cake version of bake off au (17.9k)! they’re both total showstoppers (get it? bc bake off? yes i do think i’m hilarious thank u) while also having very different moods? if that makes sense? like they both fit different vibes i look for at different times which is wonderful!!

and of course i can’t talk about molly and not bring up one of my favorite fic projects of all time, which was her collab with the spectacular @cringeycal for their college dance au (15k) & college pet au (14.7k) (that is a horrible way to describe it and i apologize but it’s also 6 am and i haven’t slept yet so cut me some slack) these are both genius and hilarious and i could go on about them for actual hours so if you haven’t read them yet go crazy go stupid and if you don’t love them i’ll eat scorpions on live television :))

how could i talk about cake fics without bringing up beloved hanukkah fic (13.6k) by the light of my life @clumsyclifford?? this fic is not only just a lovely piece of prose all around it just has so much love and warmth and fluff it’s practically overflowing and i personally think it should be required reading bc it’s so !!! bella hasn’t written any other cake over 10k but i have yet to read a fic of hers i haven’t loved so if you’re looking for some shorter cake (or longer of another pairing) you should def check out her ao3 😊

if you’re looking for some angsty fic, i highly recommend @lifewasradical ‘s fic where calum leaves the band (10.1k) it is absolutely heartwrenching in the best way!! she also has an adorable bakery au (11k) that is extremely fluffy and cute!!

there’s also her collab with @pixiegrl for their wrong number au (16.1k) if you’re looking for some disaster college kids making a mess of falling in love!

ok this post is getting very long and the sun has just risen (insert yikes emoji) so i’ll wrap it off with @michaelsarmbandtattoo ‘s trans luke au (12.8k) which balances fluff and angst extremely well imo and is a great read!

ok it is now past 6:30 am and i have an appointment at 10 and have yet to sleep so! that’s all for now! i am almost certainly forgetting some excellent fic but my brain is fried from last week of the semester vibes so someone else can fill in the blanks. this is probably way more rambly than you were looking for but it wouldn’t be a megs’ production if it wasn’t :)) thanks for asking for recs i’d love to do this again sometime for another pairing! (not this week tho lol) 💙

#this is so fucking long i apologize i just have zero chill #plus there's so much good fic out there! and i love to gush over fic if you haven't figured out yet #i really hope all these links work #i was going to say something else in the tags but now i can't remember #no one yell at me about my bad sleep decisions plz i am well aware i fucked up staying up this late during this week in particular #but! it is too late now #i'm going to go crash on the beanbag for 2 and a half to 3 hours b4 my class 🙃#good night y'all it was a pleasure doing business #answering mail #long post #fic rec #cake

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ifwallscouldtalkkkk · 3 years

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Mini announcement!

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5sos writer's guild

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So, a few of us current 5sos fic writers grouped together to make a space where we can discuss things. It has now resulted in us creating a Discord server for writers AND readers of 5sos fic (and adjecent).

If you are a writer or reader of 5sos fics, feel free to join our group. We do collabs, discussion, inspo sharing, beta reading, challenges (we have one going for the month of June right now!!), and just generally share our current favorite reads that we find.

Click here to join 5 seconds of fiction

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reveriesofawriter · 2 years

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2021 Writing Self-Evaluation

thank u @clumsyclifford for the tag :))

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 14 full fics (arguably, I could expand on any of those at any given moment) and a chapter of one that I do want to post as a weekly chapter update thing as soon as it's done (or as a bi-weekly update with the first part being story and the second being babysitting) but idk if I have the patience for that

2. Word count posted for the year: 55,007 words posted

3. Fandoms I wrote for: 5sos & atl

4. Pairings: in descending order starting with the most fics - jalex, merrikat, rilex, malum, mashton, and an atl ot4 who did I become for that week writing that idek

5. Story with the most Kudos/Bookmarks/Comments:

kudos: We Dream Impossible Dreams and Knock Me Out (hit me with your punch-drunk love) are tied for first place, probably bc bella sings their praises 😌

bookmarks: Knock Me Out once again

comment threads: Impossible Dreams

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): I feel like it's cheating to claim my all too well fic collabs with @tirednotflirting as things I'm most proud of but it's not just the writing but the fact that we actually did that and it was not only coherent but pretty fuckin good?? yeah I'm proud of us for that. for the things I wrote on my own, bella's bday fic probably takes that title just because it's always intimidating to write things for people, especially other writers, and even more so on their birthdays, but also I cannot believe I managed to come up with 5 reasons someone would punch someone else that weren't like unnecessarily aggressive, that was truly the biggest challenge of all

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): none of the works I'm not proud of have found their way to ao3 (if I don't think it's worthy of posting then likely no more than two people have seen it) I'm proud of everything on there :))

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: bella consistently calls me a criminal, which I love. my sole goal is to stay on her public enemy list. bella's comments in general are like reading a summary of the fic with yelling interspersed it's so funny I adore them like

also my friends who have read my writing and told me I should write a book 👀 I love you

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: uhhhhh the last 4-5 months of the year? I mean I was still writing, to an extent, but I wasn't writing anything to post for a while and I'm sure that'll loop back around, so I should probably ride this writing high while I can

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: how much time do we have lol okay The more you treat me cruel felt so out of my wheelhouse and I can't explain why but in the end I like how it turned out, the entirety of if you leave the light on, then I'll leave the light on because it felt out of character for me to write but it's still really good and not to gloat but I don't think many people could have written that the same way I did without crossing any nsfw lines but also the tenderness of it all idk it felt like it came out of nowhere and a majority of it was written in my phone notes before it ever saw a doc because I didn't expect it to all go together into one story

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: all of starlight fic? every bit of original dialogue in the elevator fic? everything in the street lightning fic? all of the kid scenes in One more time for second chances that I technically wrote last year but haven't posted? *rian in tower of truth voice* you guys haven't seen it yet. also bella says this part in light on:

Jack didn’t wake up whenever Alex had left, although if he thinks about it he can feel Alex falling asleep against him, a memory of mist that could disappear if he tries to touch it now. So he doesn’t. He doesn’t think about how, if Alex had stayed, he could have seen Jack with his glasses on. He could have seen the way the sunlight comes in over the top of the next building in the mornings and leaves a yellow-orange glow on his wall, turning his room into a kaleidoscope when the light hits his mirror. He could have learned that’s part of what makes Jack a morning person, even when he’s mildly hungover. They could have nursed their hangovers together. Jack doesn’t think about it.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: let me take another moment to say how writing with sam made me a better writer and taught me how to marry description and dialogue better to where I can write things like street lightning without overthinking the way people talk and how to fit that in with talking about like the metaphor of catching fireflies in a jar

13. How do you hope to grow next year: I'd love to see what I can learn from a co-write with bella 👀 also I want to finish this thing I'm working on and slide into cmq's dms like hey wanna read this and tell me if it's any good? 👀

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): @tirednotflirting and @clumsyclifford obviously, they are all of the above, so much so that part of their gifts this past chrismukkah were based on things we've all written. let me brag for a second and describe the magic: sam got a set of pastel pencils etched with a line from a bella fic, bella got a little sticky note pad with a photo I took and a line from a sam fic, and sam also got a little painted dinosaur planter from our all too well sequel 😌

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: mostly just my music taste lmao no there's a fair amount of projection that goes into them but most of it doesn't directly come from things in my life since I'm not exactly full of romantic life experiences to write about and I can't (yet) do justice to the feeling of driving or open night skies or concerts with friends

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: first and foremost, writing is supposed to be fun. this isn't a job, no amount of other people's [perceived or real] expectations of you should put pressure on you to write if you're not feeling it, and if you're not enjoying anything from the experience of writing, then take a break. words will find you when you're ready. in the meantime, nurture some other hobbies or habits you want to try to keep up. inspiration can come from anywhere, not just from sitting at a keyboard and forcing yourself to get words out.

that being said, no two people have the same writing style, both in terms of method and voice. don't worry about writing the same thing as someone else (unless you're doing a plagiarism on purpose then knock that shit off) because two people falling in love at a coffee shop will always be cute no matter how many times you read it.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: well first of all I need to finish adventures in babysitting so I can start posting that regularly, unrelated to fics I want to write more poetry to submit to journals and magazines, my first one was accepted two days ago (!) and I want to keep that energy going into this year

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. ahhhhhh I'm skipping this one, everyone do it, everyone is interesting

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mermaidcashton · 4 years

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if i knew you were comin’

author: claire (@mermaidcashton) ship/AU: ashton irwin/reader, baker AU prompt: “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I almost never do.” wordcount: 3344 warnings: swearing a/n: • written for @maluminspace & @h0tsos ‘s 5sos fic writers collab (in which we all chose from a list of AU’s and had the above prompt quote to include - check out the masterlist linked to see everyone elses!) • i do not give permission for this (or any of my writing) to be reposted, by anyone, on this or any other website. please don’t do it! • title from ‘if i knew you were comin' i'd've baked a cake’ by eileen barton if i knew you were comin’ ***

It would have been a real cliché had it been pouring with rain, the first time you saw him. If an unexpected thunderstorm in June had sent you into the little hipster bakery by necessity, a beacon of shelter in the form of a black & white sign that said ‘Dagger & Snake Bakehouse��. As it was, you were simply hungry in the rich sunshine, miles from home, and a sucker for bagels. That wasn’t very rom-com, really.

The cliché came in when you saw him for the first time; laugh bright on his face, flour in his pillar box red hair. You felt every love-at-first-sight trope possible in that moment; brass band playing, lightning striking, arrows piercing.

But it was raining now - slowly but with determination from the grey September sky - and you felt it, still.

***

The old fashioned bell above the heavy door rang out as you pushed your way into the bakery, immediately feeling enveloped in warmth. You shook off the excess water pooling on your umbrella out of the open door before you let it close as gently as possible behind you, spinning back around to assess the scene before you.

The shop was an assault on the senses every time you visited; the smell of 50 different baked goods intermingling and somehow achieving a harmony in your nose, the sound of the eclectic playlist they kept adding to filling the shop, and the assault on the eyes came in the form of bright hanging lights, extensive art on the walls, and the staff themselves.

“Hello, you! Get in here; it’s horrible out there!”

You smiled widely, genuinely, at the greeting. “Hey, Calum! How are you?” You replied, stepping up to the counter. Calum ran his hand over his very short blonde hair with a smile that you were sure accounted for at least 25% of their sales. Not that you’d know; only one of the co-owners kept you spending more than you could really afford on focaccia bread, and he was nowhere to be seen.

“Can’t complain, real-well, actually, I can,” Calum changed his mind mid-sentence, face growing indignant. “Ash went to drop the banking off at Natwest 30 minutes ago, and Luke was due 5 minutes before you walked in, and I’m dying for a piss, and I-” The bell above the door shook like a hurricane had just come through the door, and in the form of a 6’2” blonde streak of limbs, it kind of had. “Sorry, sorry, I’m he-woah!” Luke skidded across the shiny white floor on his damp black Converse, windmilling his long arms until he caught one of only three tables in the place, and brought himself to a jolting stop.

Calum rolled his eyes. “This fucken’ guy.” He muttered, but you could see the fondness painted all over his golden brown face. “Luke, I need to pee; look after our best customer for me!” Calum bolted out from behind the counter, showing off his black tank top and pinstriped trousers as he pulled his black branded apron off on his way to the door marked ‘STAFF ONLY’ across the shop. You could hear his Doc Martens squeaking on the tiles as he disappeared through the door and Luke took his place behind the counter, chucking his backpack through the archway that attached the shop to the bakery’s kitchen. “Ooh, Ashton won’t like finding your backpack in his kitchen when he gets back!” You tease, leaning onto the ledge that separates you from Luke. The absent baker was very particular about his immaculate commercial kitchen and everything in it, and you knew something would definitely be said about the fact that Luke’s wet backpack was now lying on the floor by the ovens. Calum had once told you about a time he had simply moved Ashton’s sourdough starter across the kitchen, and the incident that had followed (and lasted for three days). “Ooh, won’t he!” Luke cooed, tying his own D&S Bakehouse apron with a messy bow on his stomach. “You’d know, being our resident Ashton expert and all.” You felt the flush begin to bloom on your cheeks before you saw it reflected in Luke’s stupid stainless steel coffee machine. You stuck your chin out as defiantly as possible. “I don’t know what that means, and I also don’t care. I’d like a Flat White, please, barista!” Luke clutched his chest with a large hand, gasping dramatically. “So harsh! My own job title! You missed ‘Retail Assistant’ and ‘Shop Hunk’, but I’ll forgive you because I know you’re having Ashton withdrawals right now. Haven’t seen you since last week, kiddo!” Opting to ignore his needling about the Ashton situation, you set your own backpack on the floor as you let out a sigh. “Yeah, it’s been a bit chaotic this week. But I said I’d try and come by today, and I can’t live without Calum’s doughnuts much longer, so here I am.” “Yeah, that’s definitely what you can’t live without.” Luke snorted, filling the portafilter with coffee grounds. The staff door swung open before you could respond, Calum sailing back into the bakery. “Does he come with an off switch?” You groaned, shaking your head at the bottle blonde as he laughed and groaned with you. “God, if he did, I’d use it so often he’d never be ‘on’.” “You love me, they love me, everybody loves me!” Luke sang at volume as the coffee machine began to grind and whir. Calum rolled his eyes as he shut the door to the counter. “The girls from the high school down the street love you, I’ll give you that, but that’s about it.” “The boys, too.” Luke wiggled his eyebrows at you ridiculously, tapping the used coffee grounds into the bin with a flourish. You couldn’t help but giggle; you’d grown so fond of Luke and Calum in the three months you’d been visiting the bakery that you considered them friends. And as you started examining the case in front of you, filled with the most delicious looking cakes, pastries and doughnuts you’d ever seen, you thought that surely friends with access to coffee and baked goods were the best friends to have. “What are you thinking, love?” Calum asked, watching your eyes flick between peanut butter brownies and cinnamon rolls. “I don’t know; everything always looks so good!” You whined. “I think I’m definitely in the mood for something sweet, though.” “I’m right here, baby!” Luke trilled as he placed a steaming cup on the counter, looking very pleased with himself. “Do I need to tell Michael about this flirty behaviour, Luke?” Calum teased. Luke shrugged, completely nonplussed. “If you want. He’s so hot when he gets jealous.” Calum rolled his eyes again as he made his way into the kitchen. “Luke, move your backpack before Ash gets back unless you want to get bollocked!” He called over his shoulder. “Uh oh, too late.” Luke groaned, looking past you through the glass of the shop front, moments before the shop bell sounded out for a third time. You would definitely play it cool and not turn around if it was anyone but Ashton; you swear, this man is actually magnetic. The Hall & Oates’ song coming from the speakers seems to slow down as he comes into your line of sight, like in every movie you’ve ever seen with a leading man half as gorgeous as this one. Ashton was wearing his signature black boots and ripped jeans, with a white tank top and the leather jacket that you were sure would smell just like him; flour, grapefruit, sandalwood and whatever he used to put his hair into any of the styles that drove you so crazy. Today he had that one styled curl falling onto his face, and right now it was soaked and sending a trail of water down to drop from his chiseled jaw. “You took your time, bread boy.” Calum called from the kitchen, doing Luke a solid of hiding his backpack underneath the furthermost kitchen counter as he did. Ashton huffed out half a laugh, running both hands through his wet hair and bending forward to shake it off as much as he could. “I don’t even only bake bread! Why do you insist on calling me that? Especially in front of my favourite customer.” Despite knowing that you were currently the only customer in the bakery, your brain immediately began questioning whether or not he was referring to you. Then, he straightened up with his arms high, hands slicking his red hair back, and looked straight at you with unwavering eye contact. “Hey.” That one word, combined with those eyes and him looking like he was in 2020’s answer to a Whitesnake video dragged your heart straight into your throat. “Hey.” You echoed, hoping you were imagining the slightly breathless quality to your voice. Ashton’s serious-supermodel face broke into his brightest smile - seemingly just for you - before he began to stride past you to head behind the counter, shrugging his wet jacket off as he went. “I see you’re sorted with a drink; what have you chosen to eat? Or is this a flying visit?” “I was just doing my usual, actually.” You replied, dragging your eyes away from the tattoos on his arms to glance back down at the many glass cases of treats. “Struggling to decide?” Ashton teased lightly, tying his apron strings into a bow at his waist. You giggled, feeling inordinately pleased that he knew exactly what you meant. “Well, my lattices should be cool by now. Cal?” Ashton called into the kitchen, where the sound of stand mixers could now be heard. You hadn’t even noticed Calum leaving the shop to bake in the back. As you realised Luke was also nowhere to be seen, the assistants’ head appeared from the side of the archway. “Calum says he is a very busy man and he thought you had things under control out here.” You frowned slightly, not understanding the inflection the blonde had put on ‘under control’. Must be a private joke; one that made Ashton steadily flush down his neck. “Shut up, Luke! I just want the top tray on the cooling rack by the main pantry, please.” Luke tapped his head with two fingers in an ‘aye aye, Captain’ gesture and momentarily vanished from view. Ashton cleared his throat, directing his words back to you. “I thought you said you were going to try and come by today. I made Cherry & Custard Lattices earlier; you love cherry, right?” You didn’t know what to say, so opted to just stare back at Ashton in surprise until you saw doubt in his eyes. “Yes! I did, say that, and I do - love cherry. You remembered that?” The smile on your face felt like it was spread impossibly wide, over your cheeks and beyond. “Of course! I’m glad you’re here, actually…” “Here you go!” Luke said, sounding almost gleeful as he put the tray of pastries on the worktop behind Ashton. Normally, you would expect Luke to arrange them in a space in one of the cabinets and carefully handwrite a little sign for them, but not today, apparently. He was already taking strides back to the kitchen to help Calum, throwing you both a look over his shoulder that was definitely cheeky. “Go get ‘em, tiger!” Ashton went so unbelievably red that it made his flush from before look like his natural skin tone. For lack of something to do with yourself in a confusing, slightly awkward situation that you didn’t fully understand, you picked up the coffee Luke had made for you and took a small sip. Ashton took a breath and seemed to steel himself for something. “I’ve got something to ask you.” He cocked his head slightly to one side before taking a slightly wistful tone. “Do you remember the day we met?” *** You looked up at the stark sign above the world’s most appetising window display. ‘Dagger & Snake Bakehouse’. It was a little after your usual lunchtime and you were starving. You’d never been to this place before, but you could see slices of puff pastry topped with everything you could imagine; asparagus, pesto, goats cheese, tomatoes, bacon, mushrooms - all topped with melted cheese, so that was that. You made your way through the glossy black door into the bakery, and were struck by how cool it looked inside. The main walls were exposed brick painted white, covered with a broad range of paintings, posters, sketches, photographs and signs. Black boards covered in white chalk writing detailing baked goods and hot drinks, opening hours and little doodles. Shelves with all manner of trinkets and decorations adorned any parts of the walls that there wasn’t something else. Sleek white tiles covered the floor, counters and the walls leading off to the restrooms and a door marked ‘STAFF ONLY’. There were ferns and succulents dotted around the place, and recycled glass bottles on a few black cafe tables with a single red rose in each. There were cases and displays of every kind of baked good you could imagine at the counter, running along the windows, and high above the worktops behind the counter. Stevie Wonder segued into Fleetwood Mac over the speakers in the corners,audible above the babble of noise of the customers already in the bakery. A couple at the farthest table were tucking into big slices of two of the most incredible looking cakes you had ever seen in your life. At the till, a girl with a high ponytail and tiny denim shorts was taking a branded pastry box from a tall, skinny-but-somehow-broad guy. Another man with a black hat pulled low on his head brushed his fluffy blonde hair out of his eyes where he sat at one of the tables opposite the counter. He shot the staff member a beaming smile and a thumbs up, then returned his attention to the laptop open on his table. You eagerly made your way forward as the girl with the ponytail began to exit the shop. “Hi! I’m Luke, welcome to Dagger & Snake Bakehouse. What can I get for you?” The worker - Luke - greeted you enthusiastically with a toothy smile. His smile faltered slightly when you asked for an iced coffee to go with your lunch, but before you could think about it, he sprang into action as a second man appeared from an archway beside him, mid laugh. You divert your attention to the newcomer and your heart skips way more than a beat. He was, without question, the most beautiful human you had ever seen in your life. He was tall - though not as tall as Luke, but twice as broad. The muscles in his arms bulged through his t-shirt, and you could see tattoos on his arms and wrists. His hair was in a perfect quiff, and the brightest shade of red you could imagine. You noticed what appeared to be flour speckled across the top of it, and melted slightly more. His face was a set of perfect, sharp angles contrasting with the soft dimples in his cheeks as he laughed. You had never been so aware of every molecule of your own body. You felt tingly and numb and on high alert all at once. The urge to lick your lips was suddenly overwhelming. “How are you getting on, Luke? Did I hear an iced coffee order over Calum’s shenanigans back there?” His voice was like hearing a song on the radio that you haven’t heard in ages but always loved. Luke shook his head and played it cool, whilst the love of your life turned to you with a warm smile. “It’s Luke’s first day! Go easy on him. How is he doing?” “Ashton! I know exactly what I am doing!” Luke sniffed, opening a cabinet door that turns out to be a freezer drawer and scooping ice with confidence. Ashton giggled again and held his hands up in surrender, shooting you another smile before heading around Luke and out onto the bakery floor. You unconsciously followed him with your eyes, across the room to the window cabinets where he began making adjustments to the display. He had to bend and lean to reach the very front, and after allowing yourself a few seconds to stare at his ass in tight, black jeans, you came to your senses and reluctantly diverted your eyes back to the counter. Luke leant conspiratorially towards the counter and you unconsciously mirrored his movement before he began to whisper to you. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing.” He laughed as he straightened back up and steadied the coffee cup in his hand before continuing in an airy, cheerful voice. “I almost never do!” “I’m sure it’ll be great, don’t worry!” You reassured, casting an eye over the blender Luke was working with now. You were sure it would be. Probably. Your eyes traced the white printed branding that adorned the apron on Luke’s chest; a traditional tattoo style dagger and snake. “Why Dagger & Snake?” “Oh, that’s a question for one of the bossmen! Ashton!” Luke called across the shop. “Yeah?” You jumped at the voice that came from right behind you, spinning around and coming face to face with Ashton wiping his hands on his apron. “Sorry!” Ashton apologised. “I didn’t mean to scare you!” A soft, genuine smile played on his lips as you took in just how hazel his eyes were. You felt like you’d just walked up a flight of 200 stairs. “The lady would like to know why you and Cal named this place Dagger & Snake Bakehouse. Oh, balls.” Something hit the floor behind you, but you paid it no mind as Ashton’s face lit up. “They go together, to mean a bunch of stuff, right? Kept seeing them at tattoo shops, together. They can symbolise healing, the Roman god of luck, good vs evil; loads of cool stuff. But always together; that’s me and Cal - Calum, my best friend, we own this place, 50/50. He got the dagger, I got the snake. Brothers, forever.” Ashton talked with such conviction, and pulled his t-shirt sleeve with enthusiasm as he held his arm out to you, showing you a stark black tattoo of a snake. “That’s so sweet.” You breathed out, without really thinking about it. He looked at you like he hadn’t expected that adjective, but like he was turning it over in his mind. “And cool!” you added, nodding slightly. “You think so?” Ashton smiled, pulling his sleeve back down, looking quietly pleased. You let a few seconds tick by in silence, looking into his eyes to see what you could see. It looked like the whole world. “Yeah, I do.”

***

“Um...I think so, yes.” You thought you were just about straddling the line between casual and so-nervous-you-could-honestly-throw-up-a-little. “I wanted to ask you this that day, but I thought I’d sound so creepy, and unprofessional, and I didn’t want you to think I was a freak, or that I did this all the time, but-” Unless you were projecting, Ashton looked as nervous as you felt. “Ashton, point! Get there!” Luke yelled gleefully from the kitchen, followed immediately by a sound that you were fairly certain was Calum smacking him upside the head. The yelp of ‘Ow!’ that followed it seemed to confirm your suspicions. Ashton faltered slightly, looking embarrassed and mumbling something about ‘idiot’ and ‘fired’. “Ashton.” You reached out your hand and placed it on his where he was nervously drumming on the counter again before you even thought about it. You weren’t sure which of you was more surprised at your involuntary action. Ashton raised his eyes back to you, peering at you with hope in his hazel eyes.“You think I could get your number? Take you out sometime?” You allowed yourself to smile, widely, genuinely, as you knew just how to answer. “Yeah, I do.” *** masterlist for the 5sos ficwriters collab • my masterlist

#5sos writing collab #my writing #mermaidcashton #5sos fic #ashton #ashton irwin #5sos #5 seconds of summer #ashton 5sos #ashton fic #ashton x reader #ashton irwin fic #ashton 5sos fic #5 seconds of summer fic

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calmlftv · 4 years

Text

safe. - a.i.

description: covid-19, also known as “the zombie virus,” claimed hundreds of thousands of victims in 2018, and while it all seemed to be going great, something much darker was hiding within research facilities across the nation.

word count: exactly 4,001

warnings: descriptions of graphic imagery, blood, injuries, feelings of hopelessness.

w/n: this is my first fic for the 5sos writers collab! i’m so excited to participate in this, i always love reading the fics that come out from this and im so happy i get to be part of it! my prompt for this was zombie apocalypse au so i hope i did it justice!

taglist: @spicycal @n-ctarinenga @irwinkitten @castaway-cashton @blackbutterfliescal @ashtonsos @loveroflrh @bestyearssos @treatallwithkindness @bestyearslftv @another-lonely-heart-blog

****

It’s been 730 days.

That’s 24 months since the world went to shit.

Two years since the haunting screams have driven you to nightmares and panic attacks, something you had never had to deal with in the Before.

That’s all it was now. The Before. The time before the virus contaminated the body, before the monsters smashed into your home and tore your family apart.

Before all of that. Before, you were a nice person. In the Before, you were having the time of your life. But now?

Now you’re miserable.

With a gasp you awoke again, chest heaving as your mind raced. Your palms were pressed against the cold wooden floor of the house you had cleared, eyes quickly darting between all means of entry as you assessed your surroundings. Only when you saw the makeshift barricades you had created did you begin to calm down, your eyes squeezing shut as you pulled your knees against your chest.

I fucking hate it here.

Moments passed until you were able to open your eyes again, your vision blurry as you scrambled up to your feet. The old and ragged coat you had been using as a blanket was bunched up in your hand, the old and rotting pillow you had used being kicked to the side as you quickly found the mass that is your backpack. You stumbled through the house, making all kinds of noise as you made it to the closest counter, a shaking hand already reaching up to open the two cabinets above.

Empty.

Just like the other ones.

The dust on the shelves made your stomach hurt, determination already slumping your body as you pushed off the counter and headed towards the door. You knew it was no use to search the rest of the house for food; you had been hiding in this shithole for 14 hours, and if your searches yielded no results by now, you might as well move on.

Carefully you pried pieces of dusty and damp furniture away from the back door of the home, your foot landing on a shattered picture frame on the floor just as you cleared the doorway. You yelped, leaping away from the frame as your eyes landed on it. Captured within the frame was a beautiful blonde woman, curly hair down to her waist and a jungle green dress hugging her body as her hands rested on her rather large belly. In front of her knelt a man with shaggy brown hair, his lips pressed against her belly as she beamed with joy, the two of them so obviously in love with their bundle of joy that it could have made you sick.

Feeling empty you tore your eyes away, the lack of blood on your foot propelling you forward and out the old, creaky door. You started off slow, like always, watching your footsteps and listening intently as you ignored everything your body was telling you; the aches in your knees and tightness in your jaw could wait; your life depended on it, after all.

After a few miles you picked up the pace, your vision blurring slightly as you moved faster. Despite the pain that was now in your stomach you pushed on, determined to find some sort of shelter before you passed out, your weak muscles and body screaming at you with every step and breath.

You’re not entirely certain how far you made it before you heard the near-silent steps nearby, just out of sight on your left. You sluggishly turned around, quickly trying to wipe the fog from your eyes as you tried to find the creature that stalked behind you.

Much to your surprise a figure appeared, a gentleman peeking around a tree with dark hair. Fear struck you quickly as you backed away, almost immediately tripping over a large branch and landing on your ass as the figure stepped closer, now coming out from his hiding spot as you tried so hard to scramble away.

“Hey, hey, wait,” he said gently, the voice jarring to you.

Another human? You thought, shock freezing you in place. But how-

A grunt followed by a bone chilling moan came from the right, your head snapping in that direction. To your surprise, the man quickly got closer and extended his hand, carefully taking you by the arm and hoisting you up easily just as another man appeared from the direction of the sound.

Another normal, human man, brown hair pulled back into a bun.

“There’s a horde on the way,” he stated, jerking a thumb behind him as his eyes took you in. “We’ve gotta go, Ash.”

“Alright, Logan, but we’re taking in a stray.”

The man stared at you and nodded, a silent agreement you had no idea of happening as the first man - Ash - carefully spun you around and guided you forward, footsteps falling in sync between the three of you as the strangers guided you onwards.

The trees were closing in on you as you gripped Ash’s arm, knees trying to buckle underneath you from pure exhaustion and pain. The man chuckled and soon another hand was on you, the two men hoisting you up and quickly carrying you away.

***

“Whoa-!” A woman said, strong hands immediately trying to push you down as you struggled against them.

“Who the fuck-” you started, panic filling you now as you bit down on the side of a hand. A yelp came from the stranger and the hands were gone, your mind racing as a woman knelt beside you.

“-shh, little love, it’s okay. You’re safe now,” she soothed, hand running in circles along your back as you focused on her voice. It was soft and gentle, the voice a stark difference to the harsh grinding in your mind.

Safe?

Your eyes landing on her, finally taking her in as she gave you a soft smile. “Hey there,” she said kindly, tone gentle and soothing. “Sorry to have given you a fright, Devyn’s just so used to dealing with...rougher patients.”

Her eyes guided you to the other side of the room where a young man stood at the sink, glaring at you while he seemed to nurse his bitten hand.

The woman chuckled, gaining your attention once again. “My name’s Tabitha, but most people ‘round here call me Tabby,” she said, gently taking your hand and turning it over. Her fingers carefully pressed against the inside of your wrist, your pulse pounding against her skin. “And you, little stray, are very much alive.”

You blinked, Tabby’s eyes taking in your face.

“Where am I?”

Your voice was hoarse and broken, vocal chords seeming to ache as they were used again.

Tabby smiled. “You’re in our Community,” she said sweetly, gesturing vaguely to the room around you. “It’s a bit shabby, but not the worst place to be. It’s a safe place for people to be, little stray, I promise.”

“M’not a stray,” you mumbled, your voice slightly stronger but not by much.

Your exam went by fairly quickly, Tabby settling you back into your bed as soon as possible before she excused herself. Once you were laying back against the pillow Devyn popped back over, quietly and carefully adjusting some things as you watched. He glanced at you and nodded, seeming to have gotten over your first impression, before he turned around and left the room.

Once you were alone you finally, truly relaxed, sighing as you carefully sat yourself up. You were able to take in the room, looking around at the chipping paint on the walls and the bits of dust floating in the air around the only window to your left, the light reflecting gracefully as the particles moved within it. Desperate for some light you started to stand, legs shaking as you tried to make your way to the window.

“Hey hey, what are you doing?”

The new voice startled you, adrenaline flooding your veins as you spun around. You grabbed the nearest object that could be used as a weapon and held it in front of you, ready to fight for your life if need be.

The man who found you in the woods stood in the doorway with his hands up, a single dark curl falling over his forehead as he stood perfectly still.

“Hey,” he said calmly, voice soft and warm. “It’s alright, I’m not here to hurt you. We’ve already sort of met, remember? In the woods?”

As he spoke the memory came flooding back to you and you dropped the weapon, a blush settling on your cheeks as you tried to find the right words to apologize.

He chuckled, dropping his hands and stepping in. “Someone’s a bit jumpy, hm?” He teased, obviously trying to calm you down. He glanced at your empty bed before looking back at you. “And a bit eager to explore.”

You cleared your thoughts and nodded a bit, still hesitant to trust him too much. “Just wanted to see outside, sir,” you admitted. “Maybe feel some sun if I’m lucky.”

The man watched you and nodded, his hands going into the pockets of his jeans. He had on a simple black t-shirt that seemed clean, something that was a foreign concept to you these days. “Well I’d definitely say you’re lucky. You barely made it to the gates of the community before you passed out, I had to have Logan carry you in.”

The blush returned, causing him to laugh. “It’s okay, you’re in good hands here. Tabby was a doctor before all this happened, and she’s taught Devyn everything she knows.”

You nodded. “Tabby seems nice,” you said, feeling a bit safer again. “I, uh, kinda bit Devyn on accident, so I don’t know if he likes me.”

When you met his eyes he was containing a laugh, ultimately failing as you moved back towards your bed. “You bit him!” He chuckled, calming down a bit. “Well, once you’ve got your strength back, I’m sure we’ll have a hell of a fighter on our hands.”

You smiled, chuckling a bit. “Not sure how much help I’ll be until then,” you said, sighing again.

The man moved closer, sitting on the edge of your bed. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” he said softly, flashing a reassuring smile. “Start out with the easy tasks, and work your way up when you’re feeling better.” He ducked his head down, catching your eyes and smiling again. “Sound like a plan?”

You met his eyes and nodded, the hazel color full of so much warmth that you couldn’t help but believe him. Somehow, despite being on your own for two years, it was easy to trust him; it was easy to let the fear melt away.

He grinned, reaching to squeeze your shoulder until you jerked away. Maybe you weren’t ready to trust him too much. “We’ll work on that,” he said kindly, nodding and standing up. “I’ll check in this evening around dinner, okay? Maybe bring by a surprise, for our Lucky Stray.”

You both nodded to each other before he headed towards the door. You quickly remembered something and stood again.

“Wait,” you said, the man turning around in the doorway. “What’s your name?”

He smiled. “Ashton,” he said simply. “M’name’s Ashton.”

You nodded, the man repeating the action before he grabbed the doorknob and stepped out.The door closed softly behind him, the silence making your ears ring as you stared at the window again.

This is a hell of a place, you thought, settling back against the bed once again. A blanket was draped at the end of the mattress but you curled up without it, the previous rush of adrenaline in your system keeping you warm as you closed your eyes.

Maybe I’ll stick around for a while, you accepted, your exhausted mind already starting to settle into sleep. Where it’s safe.

For now.

****

Over time you were able to recover, your days filled with visits from Ashton and other members of the community. The visits you were always most excited for were Ashton’s, the length of them going from a couple minutes every couple of days to a few hours every single day. Sometimes he’d bring in whatever work had to do and set up a table next to you, teaching you the different jobs within the community from cleaning weapons to childcare to anything else that may need to be done. While you absolutely adored being able to learn about the community more and more, you enjoyed your time with Ash a bit more, the two of you building a strong bond that made recovery easier. It certainly helped that your heart would skip a few beats every time you saw him, his winning smile and wonderful laughter having their calming effect on you.

Before you knew it you were moved to your own room, a window looking east over the woods bringing you peace on the mornings you awoke in a panic. Though the things that lurk in the darkness between the trees terrified you, the peace that the air carried would blanket around you enough to calm your racing heart.

The community had slowly become your home, the sights and sounds of the people and the work to be done settling you into a new, welcoming routine that felt like fresh air after the suffocating two years you had been through. All was well and perfect in the months that passed, and as you and Ashton continued to steal glances and flirty smiles, you finally felt normal again.

Until the day that it changed.

Day 1,095. Three years since history was changed forever.

Your normal nightmare was terrorizing your mind again, your body tossing and turning in the restless sleep you had to endure before the dawn of a new day could wake you. This time, however, it felt urgent, more panicked than it had before; the screaming was closer, somehow, the footsteps of your loved ones echoing desperately around you as your mind spun it’s twisted tale. You did everything you could to escape it all but felt the cold hand wrap around your mouth, covering your screams as you tried to launch yourself away.

“Wake up!”

You jumped at the sudden voice, the sound shattering the terrifying images that flashed within your mind. You tried to lurch out of bed but a heavy weight stopped you, the hand from your nightmare becoming real as you fought to get up.

“Stop-” the voice said, the word turning into a grunt as a blow landed against a solid chest. Your eyes began to focus as the voice came again, messy dark hair and hazel eyes finally coming into view.

“Stop fighting,” Ashton asked, voice barely above a whisper as he kept you quiet. You met his eyes and he held a finger to his lips, his other hand still covering your mouth as he paused.

After a moment he nodded and moved, taking your hand to help you up from the bed. “We have to go,” he said softly, with urgency in his voice. “Do you need to grab anything?”

You stopped, your brain stuck on his first request. “Go?” You asked, voice louder than you anticipated as Ashton quickly covered your mouth again.

After another moment he pulled away, hands resting on your shoulders. “We don’t have a lot of time,” he started, “but I’ll make it quick. We’re being raided, and we have to go. Right now.”

Your mind started spinning again, the new information feeling impossible to process as Ashton took your hand again, obviously taking your silence as his cue to start leaving. He led you to the closed door of your room, pressing against the wall as he slowly opened it enough to peek outside.

Your mind snapped to attention at the sound of a distant shout. “Tabby-”

“-is already gone with Logan,” he assured you, looking back at you. “They’re getting everybody else out. I wanted to come for you.”

The gesture was sweet, and while it wasn’t lost on you, your mind now focused solely on getting the hell out of there as more yelling started on the other side of the community, followed by harsh crashing.

“Okay, let’s go,” Ashton said suddenly, hand tightening around yours as he dashed out of your space and dragged you along. Your steps eventually synchronized, the two of you quietly avoiding detection as you tried to loop around to where everybody else was supposed to be.

As soon as you got close enough a loud bang echoed through you, chilling you to the bone as a warm liquid started to trickle down your neck. Within seconds you were being dragged along again, adrenaline giving you strength as Ashton started running. Your mind became cloudy as your body fell into autopilot, the distant sounds of your own footsteps not even feeling real as you carefully made your way through the forest.

Ashton kept the pace, only slowing down as the trees got more and more dense, the path he was taking you down becoming harder to safely navigate as you escaped the home you thought was safe. The questions started racing through your head, each one leaving you more and more confused and frustrated than the last.

While lost in your thoughts your feet collided with a fallen branch, seemingly taking you by surprise as you tripped over it. You tried to catch yourself but failed miserably, your legs giving out from pure exhaustion as your ribs and jaw met the dirt and debris you had previously been running through.

Ashton stopped the second your hand left his, spinning around just in time to watch you land on the ground. He quickly came to your side, kneeling beside you and helping you slowly sit up.

“Alright?” He asked softly, eyes meeting yours as you nodded. He looked around, pausing as he heard the unmistakable shuffling of a zombie. He quickly quieted you and helped you stand, leading you in the opposite direction of the sound as the smell invaded your nostrils, turning your stomach over in protest as you forced yourself to move.

The new path was a large loop, the sound and smell making your heart race. At one point you caught a glimpse of it, the flesh blackened and decaying, exposed bits of muscle staring at you as you held in the contents of your stomach.

Ashton tugged you further, slowly and carefully until you finally broke through into a clearing. He helped you sit and started to walk the edges of the small space you now inhabited, checking the trees until circling back to kneel in front of you.

“Alright, we’re about a half mile away from the meeting point,” he said, meeting your eyes. “The others will be taking a longer route in case the raiders followed them, so it’ll just be us for a day or two.”

You nodded to his words, wincing at the sudden pain in your right ear. His brow furrowed as you reached up, fingertips barely touching it before you hissed.

He was suddenly very close to you, turning your head and carefully inspecting the injury. He chuckled. “They nicked you real good back there,” he stated, your head jerking away as his fingers got too close. “Sorry. We need to get you to the point, get you bandaged up.”

All you could do was nod, your mind still racing from everything that had happened. It was all too fast, too overwhelming and hard to process; you had just been sleeping in the safest place you knew of, finally finding somewhere that feels like home, just to have it all ripped away from you just as suddenly. It gave you whiplash, and quite frankly, it was enough to drive you to the edge of your sanity.

You just wanted one good thing to stay good. Was that really too much to ask?

The two of you were quiet during the rest of your break, the silence only breaking when Ash said it was time to move. Despite the two of you being out of immediate danger he still took your hand, the two of you making your way to this meeting point he had mentioned.

When you arrived you didn’t even see anything at first; the entrance was in the ground and heavily guarded by plants and fallen logs, Ashton brushing it all away before tugging open the heavy metal door. Inside was a ladder, Ash gesturing for you to go down first. Despite everything aching and screaming for you to stop, you obeyed, climbing down the ladder first as Ashton followed you and sealed the two of you in.

According to Ashton a member of the community had found this old bunker while hunting one day, the man literally stumbling upon it and finding his way inside. When Ash and the others caught up to him they decided to keep it hidden, only telling a few others about its existence for situations just like this.

“So what happens with it when we don’t need to hide in it?” You asked, venturing to what seemed like a bedroom with a single bed in the middle of it.

Ashton chuckled. “Nothing,” he answered, following you and leaning against the doorway. “It just sits here, really, until we have a use for it.”

You sat on the edge of the bed, eyes taking in the concrete around you as Ashton moved towards you, his eyes locked on you.

“You should get some sleep,” he stated, holding up a hand before you could protest. “It’s obvious you’re exhausted, love, and I know you’ve got to be in pain.”

You dropped your eyes. “I’m fine, Ashton.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

The tone in his voice made you look up, meeting his eyes again. “M’not lying. I’m fine.”

He sighed, moving back towards the door. “Fine. But I’m cleaning up your ear.”

Before you could protest he was gone, only coming back once he had found a first aid kit. You huffed but let him take care of you, hissing as he cleaned your wound and wrapped it with a bandage and gauze.

“There,” he said, sitting back and cleaning up the mess. “Once Tabby gets here she’ll really get that fixed up for ya.”

You nodded, his voice sounding far away as the bandage muffled him. He tossed the kit on the ground beside the bed, the two of you sitting in silence.

“What are we going to do now?” You asked softly, your mind still thinking of the home you had lost.

He shrugged. “We’ll start over,” he answered, his voice just as soft. “Find a new place for everybody. Build new defenses. Maybe start planting our own crops, even.”

You looked over at him, chuckling a bit. “Alright, Farmer Ash,” you teased, the man laughing lightly. You both fell silent until you found the courage to speak again. “Maybe I am tired.”

He chuckled and looked at you, gesturing for you to lay down against the pillows. “Get some rest, then,” he said, standing and moving towards the door.

“Wait,” you said, the man pausing and turning towards you. “Stay with me? Just until I fall asleep.”

He smiled and nodded, coming back and sitting on the opposite side of the bed as you got settled. You gave him a look and he rolled his eyes, laying back himself and settling in.

You faced each other, eyes locking as he smiled. “You can’t sleep with your eyes open,” he teased, earning a light laugh from you.

“Fine, fine,” you said, letting your eyes fall shut as you slightly adjusted your sleeping position. After a second you opened your eyes again, seeing Ashton with his closed.

“Ash?”

He cracked one eye open. “Yeah?”

“You promise this new place will be safe?”

“Darling, you’ll always be safe with me. I promise.”

#ashton irwin #5sos #5sos au #ashton irwin au #zombie apocolypse au #blurbs.ai #pls dont hate me for ending it where i did #i rlly didnt it to be like 10k words #also sorry for my lack of imagery y'all #im trying 😔#someday i might revisit this and do it over

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maluminspace · 4 years

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For this event we decided to do gifts for each other! Everyone filled out a form detailing their favouite fic tropes, boys and ships etc and we randomly allocated everyone someone to write to. We hope you enjoy them all <3

All NSFW content is marked with a *

Michael Roadtrip written by Steff @h0tsos for Jae (jae-writes-fanfiction)

Michael enemies to lovers * written by Claire @mermaidcashton for Steff (hots0s)

Ashton friends to lovers * written by Julia @castaway-cashton for Anna (lashtonswildflower)

Poly!Mashton * written by Sarah @spicycal for Lau (sexgodashton)

Piercer!Luke & tattooist!reader * written by Lauren @malumsmermaid for Lauren (loveroflrh)

Boyfriend!michael written by Lauren @loveroflrh for Laura (maluminspace)

Poly!cashton friends to lovers * written by Rae @wildmichaelflower for Sarah (spicycal)

College!Michael * written by Anna @lashtonswildflower for Raye (wildmichaelflower)

Poly!Cashton ABO * written by Lau @sexgodashton for Julia (castaway-cashton)

Ashton waking up in Vegas * written by Jae @jae-writes-fanfiction for Claire (mermaidcashton)

Poly!Malum firest date written by Laura @maluminspace for Lauren (malumsmermaid)

#5sos fic writers collab #michael clifford #ashton irwin #luke hemmings #calum hood #5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos imagine #5sos blurb #5sos fic #michael imagine #luke imagine #calum imagine #ashton imagine #masterlist

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jae-writes-fanfiction · 4 years

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Some Kind of Disaster

Poly!Mashton x Plus Size!Reader - 772 Words - Part 1 of 1

Notes: Written for the 5SOS Collab Event, read the other fics here! My AU was University, and the challenge prompt was “ I don’t know if you noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I almost never do.” Warnings: ‘Fuck’ and other swear words are said a few times, other than that this is my fun contribution to the event.

- - -

The soles of your canvass shoes slapped against the brick pavement as the clock tower sounded overhead. You were officially late to your own presentation. You groaned wondering how you were supposed to get up in front of the entire lecture hall full of students and go over some dumb paper seconds after running across campus. It didn’t help that the new overalls you’d bought were brand new and still stiff rubbing uncomfortably on your thighs.

Despite the room’s size everyone still turned to look as you rushed inside. A flush set out across your face and you bit your lip trying to quietly catch your breath as you navigated around the rows of desks to your seat.

You smiled at Ashton and Michael as you went to take your seat between them. Before you could relax and wait for your turn to present the professor, Dr. Bernstein, called your name.

“Late again? If you weren’t so obviously out of breath I’d make you go first.” He was a portly old man, who still felt the need to harass any student that wasn’t specifically straight, white, or conventionally attractive.

You’d learned earlier in the semester the best thing you could do was ignore him- there wasn’t a damn thing wrong with you and the argument wasn’t worth it. You rolled your eyes and sat down without responding.

“He has no fucking right to talk to you like that,” Ashton said wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You shook your head and smiled as Michael covered your hand with his.

Michael and Ashton were a couple when you met back in Freshman year. They’d been so in love you were surprised when they asked you out- not that you could say no. They were so attractive, Ashton oozed confidence and Michael was so much fun that together they were irresistible.

When it was your turn to present you stood and smoothed the wrinkles out of your overalls, and shuffled your note cards. You queued your presentation on the projector and turned to stand behind the podium. But mid step your foot caught on the wiring and you stumbled. The note cards scattered, and you heard Dr. Bernstein scoff as you quickly tried to gather them. Finally ready to start you turned to face the class, and whatever light you had behind your eyes faded. Confronted with a sea of sleeping students and cellphones, you knew the passion and fire behind your assignment was for nothing.

Later after the rest of your classes had ended, the three of you were gathered around the island that doubled as the kitchen table. Michael had brought home a pizza after his shift working at the library, and you couldn’t help but bring up the day’s events.

“I can’t believe I fucking tripped,” you said chewing on your lip unable to shake the feeling that you were the odd one out in the relationship. “It was fine,” Michael said shrugging as he grabbed another slice of pizza. You scoffed, “Seriously I don’t know why you’re with me. This shits my fuckin’ major and I don’t know if you noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing.” You sighed and pushed your plate away, unable to look up at your partners as you said, “I almost never do.”

The stunned silence hung over your kitchenette, making your already melancholy outlook worsen. When you finally made up your mind to laugh it off and apologize for ruining the mood- you couldn’t. Ashton and Michael had never looked so concerned before, each of their faces showed a measure of shock and uncertainty that you didn’t know what to do with.

“Fuck guys It’s not like a big deal, I really don’t give a damn what people like Dr. Bernstein thinks but,” you couldn’t help the short laugh, “you have to admit I’m some kind of disaster.”

You relaxed instantly when Michael leaned over conspiratorially with a smile and held your hand. “Y’know you are the best disaster.”

Ashton nodded and jumped in, “He’s right. You’re so fuckin cute, and smart-“

“-And sexy, and funny,” Michael continued , pulling you closer.

“Okay, okay, I get it,” you said smiling, “I’m a sinner, I’m a saint- I’m the best damn thing to happen to you boys.”

Ashton stood and walked over, putting an arm around both you and Michael. “You’re both fuckin’ perfect.” You both blushed and you knew that no matter your size, your style, or how much you struggled- you had two people who would always see the best parts of you- even if you thought they were the bad ones.

- - -

event tag list: @maluminspace @h0tsos @5sosnsfw @punkrockpreferences @castaway-cashton @spicycal @gigglyirwin @sexgodashton @5-secondsofcolor @mysticalhood @mermaidcashton @koalacal @loveroflrh @calumsmermaid @wildmichaelflower @goth5sos @fallinluke @queer-5sos @adoringlrh @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles @shal-pal @sublimehood @cashtonasfuck @kingcals @irwinkitten @calumcest

#university AU #plus size reader #5sos #rpf #5sos writers collab

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pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles · 4 years

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Wicked Game

Another round of the 5sos fic writing collab brought to you by @maluminspace and @h0tsos. There are so many amazing writers involved and I highly recommend checking out the event master list linked below. Thank you to the Sagittarius sorceress @sexgodashton for being very caring, patient, and kind while helping me tame this monster. Massive shout out to @ghostofmashton for the photo edits, especially Ashton’s eye. that’s my favorite. You’re a rock star. Texas girls forever, love you to bits!

Event Master List

Prompt: Chef AU with Cashton

Dialogue Prompt: “Kissing you is all I’ve thought about since the moment we met” First person to spot it in the fic and send me a screenshot gets a personalized blurb request.

Word Count: 20K+ Team Long Winded Bitch strikes again, this will be posted in multiple parts over the next couple of days. This first part is about 5K

Rating: 18+ Slash fic Strong language, alcohol and drug use, and a misogynistic and racist comment. Sexual scenes including masturbation, toys, voyeurism, oral, and anal sex.

Summary: Ashton is ready to move on with his life after his painful divorce from Luke and the demise of the restaurant they’d built together. With the help of his protegee and sous chef Hima Singh, Ashton is ready to take on opening weekend of his new restaurant Anne-Marie’s. Calum is a reporter filling in on an assignment and is surprised when his past comes back to haunt him. Hima arranges an interview that takes an unexpected turn between the two men.

Part 1

"Great job, guys, we couldn't have had a better opening weekend. Thank you so much for making it happen," Ashton told the two staff members in the kitchen who'd closed as he unlocked the back door.

"No problem boss, glad to be here. We made money this weekend. See ya tomorrow," DeSean told him as he left.

Ashton locked the door behind them and walked out into the empty dining room, his steel-toed boots echoing heavily on the distressed blonde faux hardwood floors. He stopped to adjust a few tables, double-checking sightlines and looking over the layout of the tables. The upside-down chair legs cast long shadows in the soft pink neon glow.

He looked up at the sign above the bar that read "Anne-Marie's." He smiled, not caring if anyone thought it was cheesy to name his restaurant after his mother. His mom had always been his lucky star, and he couldn't have gotten through the last couple of years without her.

"You look so serious,' a voice behind him startled him out of his thoughts.

"What the fuck Hima," Ashton yelped, clutching his chest dramatically. "I thought you were still in the kitchen."

"The guys didn't leave me anything to do so I decided to change and have a drink with you before my brother gets here," she tossed her bag and chef's coat onto a stool grinning at Ashton. She hopped up to sit on the bar before swinging her legs around as she pushed off. Landing without a wobble she reached under the bar and grabbed a bottle of black label Bushmill's Irish Whiskey and two short glasses.

"Straight for the good stuff, I like the way you think," Ashton smirked, taking a seat at the bar.

"To simply mark the occasion, of course" she poured them each a shot before adding a splash of water. She raised her glass, "Cheers to you, Boss, and to Anne-Marie's."

They clinked glasses. "Couldn't have done it without you," he replied before taking a sip.

"Awwwwww thanks Ashtton, " she grinned at him. "Damn that's good, the whiskey makes me forgive the Irish for how dreadful Guinness is. Did you see Kevin Mackie snuck in last night? I expect a write up in the Metro on Tuesday and I know you saw Patricia Bennett," she rolled her eyes at the name.

"She makes herself hard to miss," he snorted. "I missed Mackie though. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because we were busy and I didn't have time for you to get all giggly and nervous. He got the crab puffs and the Mac and Brie and inhaled them. You were right about the nutmeg; I thought he was going to lick the plate." She opened two bottles of beer before hopping back over the bar and taking a seat next to Ashton.

"How did this weekend compare to the opening of ‘Lune Rouge’? Was it as good as the first time?" Hima finished her whiskey before shaking a pack of Camel Crush cigarettes out of her bag.

"If you get ashes on the bar Paloma will flip her shit," Ashton warned.

"I'm not afraid of her," Hima snipped, but she made sure to be careful. No sense in antagonizing their temperamental main bartender.

"This opening was definitely smoother than the first one. We didn't know what the hell we were doing. The first night we ran out of duck fat and gorgonzola before the dinner rush was over. My sous chef's sister had to run to Whole Foods for emergency supplies. We got lucky the press ignored us for a couple weeks until we got a little buzz going. This time I knew what to expect but there was also more pressure," he paused, taking a pull on the bottle of beer. "This time I expected to succeed right out of the gate."

"You succeeded there," Hima stubbed her cigarette out in her empty glass. "I really need to quit."

"You could get a puff bar and start vaping," he teased.

"I'm not a fucking junior varsity cheerleader. I can take my cancer like a big girl." She checked her phone. "Ugh it's almost nine, and it's gonna take me at least thirty minutes to get home. You're closing tomorrow with me right?"

"Yeah, I'll be in around 11 all this week. Rafi is handling brunch with Gloria but I want to be here," Ashton double-checked his phone. "Tuesday I have that interview with Men's Life and they just emailed me."

Hima saw his nose scrunch up as he read. "What's wrong?"

"I thought they were sending Taj, but instead of rescheduling the interview, they're sending Calum Hood," Ashton sneered.

"Chill dude, it's not that bad," Hima was confused by the venom in his voice. "Yeah he's a bit of a goof, but he's hot and not a pretentious dickhead. They could've sent Felipe."

"True, true," he grumbled as he saw a black Honda pull up outside. "Kabir is here."

"Shit, ok see you tomorrow, Boss," she grabbed her stuff, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and ran out the door, locking it behind her.

Ashton walked through once again. He made sure the lights were off in the employee lounge. Since many of his staff members used public transport or worked two jobs, Rafi had convinced Ashton to provide his staff with a decent place to take a break and get ready before or after work. He built a small shower stall, lockers, and provided clean towels, and as his new kitchen manager, Rafi took responsibility for maintaining the space. Ashton took a last look at the bar, double-checking for any stray ashes Hima might have missed before setting the alarm, locking up, and heading home.

Calum opened the email from his editor and swore loud enough to wake the scruffy brown terrier mix snoozing at his feet.

Hey Cal,

Sorry it's such short notice but Taj's mom had an emergency and I need you to cover for him. He's interviewing Ashton Irwin, remember him? He had the Lune Rouge a few years ago. Well, he's got a new place, diverse staff and we're doing a feature. Maybe even the cover if he's really pretty. Tuesday at 2 pm I'll send you the address and details after I talk to Taj. Oh, and my friend Nick is coming into town and I told him you'd show him around. It's been a while since you had a date but you'll like him. He's kinda short, but he's got big muscles, huge dick, perfect credit. You could do a lot worse.

Call me tomorrow

Sham

This isn't good, this isn't good. Calum's mind was racing. He rubbed his temples trying to think. Taj was notoriously reliable and responsible, so if he was taking off on short notice, it must be serious. It was just his bad luck it was Ashton Irwin.

He usually covered travel and sports for Men's Life while Taj handled food and fashion. Calum didn't mind taking back food and dining for the time being. He'd started in that industry, working as a line cook while he went to school for journalism. He'd quit both when a flirty, older professor recommended him for an internship at California Culture and he managed to land a real job. Professor Davis had been highly disappointed to lose him as a student and catch him making out with her son who went to the same college. He'd found a tiny shitty apartment, spent his life on the road for work, and sent every penny he didn't need to live on to his family. He didn't even date for the longest time until he met a handsome blonde with sharp features and a sharper tongue.

He couldn't remember if it was four years ago or five, but he clearly recalled his review of Lune Rouge had not been nice. Calum was in a toxic relationship with the restaurant's sous chef at the time. He'd let his personal life spill over into his work for the first and only time. It wasn't something Calum was proud of and while he felt he owed Ashton an apology, the right time and place hadn't presented itself yet. He'd run into Ashton twice since then. The first time he was with his husband, and Calum wasn't about to humble himself in front of Luke. The second encounter came not long after their marriage broke up. Calum was dating a photographer at the time, when Ashton came to the photographer’s art show. They were briefly introduced but Ashton's chilly demeanor discouraged any further conversation, so Calum avoided him the rest of the evening. He remembered being unable to stop staring at the handsome chef with the sad eyes. He'd always hoped they'd bump into each other under better circumstances. I guess an interview will have to do.

********

Ashton sat out on his condo balcony overlooking Echo Park, taking in the night air and enjoying a second bottle of IPA. Hima was right, the opening had been a smash. Anne-Marie's had the best staff he'd ever had the pleasure of working with, and aside from a small mix up between gruyere and Havarti cheese, the opening had been smooth. The alcohol hummed in his veins as he allowed his mind to wander back five years.

Lune Rouge's opening had been a chaotic mess of brilliance, balls, and blind luck. He was a year out of culinary school, newly married, and ecstatically in love with his husband. Luke was a trust fund baby; his dad ran a major studio. He put up the funding for their restaurant which procured a prime spot in trendy West Hollywood. Ashton had the idea of taking traditional French cuisine and turning it into "pub grub." Luke created a kitschy tacky cool interior with the ambiance of fairy light curtains, vintage 90's movie posters, an eye-popping pink and aqua come scheme. Featuring a bartender who doubled as a DJ, the restaurant became an immediate hot spot.

The culinary press treated them like rock stars and it went to their head. Ashton was portrayed as the mysterious boy genius, boisterous and foul-mouthed, he ran the back of the house, oversaw the business and created the menu. Luke, who's blonde-haired blue-eyed good looks were regularly described as "angelic", was the frontman, often schmoozing in the dining room, taking song requests, or slinging drinks behind the bar. They worked so well together until they didn't.

Ashton shook his head, not allowing himself to linger on negative thoughts, not when he'd fought to regain balance. He'd spent the last year freeing himself from the wreckage of his partnership with Luke. Still, tonight after the opening, alone and overlooking the city lights, his mind kept going back to the exhilaration of that first opening night. After they stayed late with the crew for a drink to celebrate, Luke's hand wandered up Ashton's thigh causing him to almost choke on his tequila. Soon Luke started whining about all the paperwork he had to do before they could go home. The crew quickly bagged it out of there, not wanting to get roped into more work.

Ashton swallowed at the memory before glancing around at the other balconies. It was late enough most of his neighbors should be asleep. Already hard, he reached down and squeezed his bulge through the thin fabric of his pajama pants.

After letting everyone else out of Lune Rouge that first night he'd been puzzled to find Luke no longer at the bar. He heard noises coming from the office. When he opened the door, he found his husband, shirtless, and waiting for him.

Ashton slid his hand into his pants swiping his thumb across the leaking tip. He heard a sliding glass door open and froze in place until he realized it was his neighbor below him chatting on the phone. He stroked himself and let his mind wander back to Luke. It had been too long since Ashton got laid, and Luke was still the best sex he'd ever had. He shuddered and bit his lip thinking about the way Luke grinned at him as he opened the office door. Before Ashton could say a word, Luke was sinking to his knees. A bit awkward given his long legs, but it didn't take long before he was letting Ashton fuck his throat. The thought of those blue eyes looking up at him as Ash's hands tangled in those blonde curls caused a moan to slip out, and his neighbor stopped talking at the sound.

"I think somebody is having sex," he heard her whisper. He almost laughed.

His dick was twitching flat against his stomach as he ducked back inside his bedroom, kicked off his pants, and grabbed a small tube of lube. Ashton shut off the light and stepped back outside.

The breeze cooled his fevered skin as he stood there looking out at the city and stroking his dick. The idea that he could possibly be seen turned him on almost as much as his trip down memory lane. He swallowed another moan thinking about how Luke's lips felt against his, their tongues tangled until he pulled back looking at Ashton with mischief and love before giving him a wink and turning around.

Ashton's breath caught in his throat as he worked his cock thinking about it. The red and white striped pants his husband pranced around in that night had been blissful torment working him up until the moment he slid those pants down and bent over the desk.

"Come take what's yours, my love, I've been wanting you all night," he cooed, wiggling his hips.

Luke was a whiny boy when he was getting pounded, and the memory sent Ashton closer to the edge. He felt his knees tremble as he increased his speed, the city lights becoming starbursts in his vision as he edged himself closer. At the moment of release, he swore he could feel Luke pushing back against him taking him in as deep as he could go.

When Ashton opened his eyes, he found himself sweaty and streaked with his own seed. He was amazed he'd managed to stay quiet, but his neighbor was chatting away obliviously. He went back inside, cracked another beer, and took it with him into the shower, trying to focus on his day tomorrow.

It was after midnight by the time he went to bed. His body was exhausted but the adrenaline from the opening weekend hadn't quite worn off. He found himself still restless and playing on his phone. After scrolling through Instagram, he found himself looking at the page belonging to the Galway Grill-- Ashton cringed at the name-- an Irish pub and microbrewery very recently opened by Luke and his boyfriend Finn.

Ashton simmered with resentment perusing the menu; they'd recycled at least half of the Lune Rouge recipes, his creations. He'd heard they'd rushed their opening to launch the week before Anne-Marie's, and even with Daddy's deep pockets the decor looked slapped together, all flash no class. He came to a picture of the happy couple and couldn't help but notice how thin and tired Luke looked despite his huge smile. He felt a twinge of concern for his ex before pushing his phone away in disgust. Rolling out of bed, he headed to the bathroom and fished an orange prescription bottle out of the cabinet. He broke a valium in half and swallowed the smaller piece with a gulp of water straight from the faucet. He scrolled through different sounds on his phone before settling on crashing waves. He spent the next ten minutes stretching and practicing deep breathing to push out any lingering negativity and troubling thoughts. It was too late to drag up the past and there was nothing to be gained. Ashton crawled back under the duvet and sank into a deep sleep dreaming of blue eyes.

*********

Hima rolled into work a little after one, pleased to see a decent lunch crowd and multiple delivery orders going out. She ordered a chicken mojito wrap for her lunch and headed back to the office to find Ashton. She found him in his chair with his laptop open on his desk, a notebook in his lap while scrolling through his phone.

"So what's the Monday morning report, Boss?" She asked, taking a seat across from him.

Ashton was beaming as he spun the laptop around to show her. "We made 30% over our projected sales. We came in right at payroll, actually a little under if you can believe that."

"I've checked the reservation book," she responded, flashing her phone. "We're booked solid for dinner Friday and Saturday and will call is 3 pm-7 pm. We're probably going to have to do that all week."

"Whatever you need. This weekend is going to be bonkers. If you have any suggestions, I'd like to do something for the staff. That reminds me, I've got to talk to Maisie." He scribbled down a quick note.

"She's already on it," Hima laughed. "The servers who struggled are coming in for extra training with her and Dakota. I have no doubt she'll straighten them up or ship them out."

Ashton nodded as Daniel knocked on the office door to bring their lunch.

"How's it going out there? Let us know if you need anything," Ashton told him.

"We've got this, Boss, enjoy your lunch," Daniel closed the door behind him.

"He's Rafi's brother?" Hima asked before taking a big bite.

"Cousin, Gloria is his sister," Ashton replied tucking into his roasted corn and quinoa salad with queso fresco.

"Are you ready for this interview tomorrow? You look tired," Hima looked concerned.

"I am tired," he shrugged. "I just wanna get this over with. I'm thrilled we're doing so well, but that's not what the press wants to talk about."

"Don't think about it like that. Anne-Marie's will stand on her own. You've just gotta get through this week. I know it's a lot," her words were half-muffled by a napkin.

"Tomorrow is the worst of it. Mackie called and is available Tuesday at one or Thursday for dinner around four. Since he's already been here for dinner, I thought I'd let Rafi wow him this time," he told her.

"Good idea, try to keep it short because if he drinks he gets super chatty. He gave a lecture at school and came to the bar afterward; he would not shut up," she warned.

"Chatty bastard, got it," he replied and they both laughed.

Anne-Marie's was his restaurant, but he couldn't have done it without Hima. She was fresh out of culinary school working as a line cook at the Hilton when he'd discovered her a little over a year ago. Ashton only lasted four months before chafing under the corporate yoke and deciding to strike out on his own. She'd been the first person he'd hired for the restaurant, guaranteeing her first year's salary out of his own pocket. Rafi and DeSean were excellent managers for the kitchen, but Hima was a coach: she understood the business as a whole. He'd let her handle most of the press and promotion, and she'd scored two big interviews.

Gourmet Table had interviewed him last Thursday The piece wouldn't be that in-depth, but they'd spent three hours photographing food. He expected the Men's Life article to focus more on him and his personal life. Calum Hood was known for his sharp pen and take-no-prisoners style. He'd given Lune Rouge two stars and a biting review during a brief stint at California Culture before he'd become known. It was five years ago, but Ashton still had the clipping somewhere. Calum had branded Lune's food as tasty and imaginative but thought the presentation was lacking in creativity. He'd ripped into the decor, calling it "somewhere between art house and frat house," and labeled Luke and Ashton "spoiled pretty boys pretending to be chefs." Luke had brushed it off with a laugh, but it still bothered Ashton.

Unlike the Hemmings’, Ashton’s family didn't have money to throw around. He'd started at sixteen, washing dishes and peeling vegetables for Chef François at Bordeaux on Hollywood. He'd taken culinary classes after high school while working full time. Sadly, Chef François had a heart attack and retired around the time he met Luke.

"You're not listening again," Hima complained, licking her fingers. "Rafi killed it with this wrap. The chicken is amazing, but the cucumber-mint salad and the tamarind chili mayo are next fucking level."

"You're right, I'm not. Sorry about that," he pushed his plate aside.

"Ok, what's got you so rattled? You've handled the press like a champ up until now. Is it Mackie or Hood? Who needs to catch these hands?" Hima stood and assumed a fighter's stance, bouncing on her toes.

"Easy there killer, I can defend my own honor. Mackie is an irritating little mosquito. He just wants gossip, but he's got enough readers so we all have to kiss his ass. Hood gave me one of the few bad reviews we got at Lune, and it stuck. He called us frat boys and said we were trying too hard," Ashton rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed by saying it out loud.

Hima raised her eyebrows and smirked, "I love it when you're petty. You're always so perfect and Zen, it's annoying."

"My therapist would disagree. Oh shit, that reminds me," he straightened up in his chair and grabbed his phone. "I've got an appointment at 2:30. I'll be back before 4," he dropped his eyes to the floor.

"Ashton," her voice was soft but commanding, and he looked up. "I don't know what's going on, and if you don't want to tell me that's fine. I want you to take care of yourself, whatever that takes. Ok?" He nodded and she smiled, "You can tell Dr. Claire that I've confirmed her for 8 pm Saturday, and you're going to personally cook her dinner. We've got the 50th anniversary that night so maybe you could flex and make your Pavlova's? I'll get the berries myself."

"It's a deal; we can comp them champagne, too. I'd better get going before I get yelled at. She's a stickler for punctuality, I think it's a British thing."

"I'll hold things down until you get back," Hima gathered up the dishes and headed out with Ashton right behind her.

*********

Ashton drew a deep breath and exhaled through his nose as the reporter settled in the chair across from him. Kevin Mackie's column in L.A. Metro was the definitive opinion for restaurants on the West Coast. His readers loved the snarky tone, celeb sightings, and bitchy gossip that peppered his column. His reviews could make or break new restaurants.

"Let me start off by saying I love the decor of this place. It's rustic, but not in that played out, hipster-in-the-woods nonsense," he leaned in and lowered his voice towards the end of the comment with a coy smirk.

"You'll find no Mason jars here," Ashton replied, taking the bait. Kevin liked people who liked him, and his most recent column was a snarky takedown of "Pinterest style interiors." Ashton found the article tedious and uninspired, but there was no need to be antagonistic right out of the gate.

Ashton watched as the reporter ordered his lunch from their server Zia. He guessed Kevin to be in his forties, and he thought he could see fresh hair plugs, bleached blonde, and a bit of Botox. Rumor had it, he'd recently split with his long-time girlfriend over a fling with a much younger waiter. Ashton tried not to pay attention to industry gossip. However, his personal problems made their way into the column more than once, and he couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit of satisfaction at the other man's problems.

After they'd both ordered, Kevin sat back and took a sip of his Pellegrino water and smacked his lips. "I was here the other night and I have to admit I was prepared to be underwhelmed. A menu based on sandwiches and comfort food sounded like an upscale Applebee's, but I really liked it despite myself. I was surprised to see your main girl was on the mature side, but she's efficient as hell so I get the trade-off."

Ashton's body tensed at the insult to Maisie, and he took a deep breath. Exhaling through his nose he forced a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Kevin was prattling on with some bit of gossip as Ashton sipped on his iced coffee.

"So let's start with something simple and ease our way into the rough stuff," Kevin set his voice recorder on the table between them. "Tell me how you formulated your top-secret house coffee blend."

Ashton broke into a wide grin as he described taking two months to travel and sample different beans, learn more about the roasting and blending process. Kevin sipped his coffee and nodded as if deep in thought, but his eyes kept wandering to Ashton's biceps. He'd been baking this morning so he smelled of cinnamon, his black t-shirt damp and clingy from sweating under his chef coat.

"So we sell the house blend all year, but we have single-source coffee that's seasonal, all of it fair trade," Ashton finished proudly.

"Coffee has always been your thing if I remember correctly," Kevin said.

"True, true, and once I started roasting my own beans it became a true obsession."

Kevin followed it up with a couple more softball questions about menu details and sandwiches. Ashton expounded on his love of food. "Cooking for someone is a simple way to show care, to be enjoyed almost as much as dining should be. Food is caring and comfort; it sustains us. It brings people together in a shared experience."

"Ooh that's a nice pull quote," Mackie chuckled. "I love when y'all have media training. It makes the bullshit flow much smoother.

Ashton seethed but said nothing. He'd watched this man's pettiness wreck a good opening, and Ashton couldn't do that to his crew. Zia brought their lunch. Ashton noticed Kevin had also ordered the chicken mojito wrap.

"This looks delicious. I think it's a nice touch that you've got so much, let's say diversity, in your restaurant. That you're actually letting them make their own food makes your menu more interesting. Not all restaurants get it. Please tell me you've seen how horribly Finn ripped you off for that tacky Irish pub," Kevin glanced up at him a tiny smirk playing on

"I haven't paid any attention to that," Ashton wanted to end the interview right there.

"Oh come on, you've had to see how much he's trying to recreate the magic you and Luke once had. The menu is tired, I don't give a fuck if he is Irish. Finn has no imagination yet fancies himself an impresario. Luke's still got it though. He even asked when I was coming here. I didn't tell him of course, I'm a professional after all."

"Of course," Ashton nodded checking out of the conversation. The reporter talked as he ate which given the wrap he was eating proved especially messy and little flecks of food kept flying his way. Ashton watched the door, nodding at customers, silently willing someone to come and save him. Kevin was still talking about himself when Hima and Zia came out of the kitchen. Ashton tried to catch their eye when he felt a hand on his arm.

"I wanna ask you about that one," Kevin leaned in so he could almost whisper.

"Who? Hima? What about her?" Ashton was pretty sure he wasn't going to like the answer.

"What's the deal? I've only ever seen you with Luke. Did your palette change that much? India must've been a real spiritual awakening for you huh?" Kevin winked at him, thinking he was clever.

Ashton controlled his breathing trying to keep his temper in check. He looked over at the reporter who kept talking oblivious to the situation.

"Who doesn't like trying something exotic. She seems like a smart cookie. She's darker than most Indian girls you see, like a rich brown butter sauce. I bet she tastes like tumeric though."

"Get out of my restaurant" Ashton hissed, his hands gripping the table to restrain himself from physical violence. "You are not going to insult my staff, my friends, in their restaurant."

Kevin started to speak but Ashton cut him off.

"Not another fucking word" he kept his voice at a low growl so as not to cause a scene. He noticed a couple of the closest tables were already watching them. "You've said enough and I'm barely holding back as it is. Get out of my restaurant, don't ever come back, don't ever speak to me again, and if you trash me in this review I promise you I will find you and fuck you up personally." Ashton stood up and Kevin flinched, the sight would have made him laugh if he hadn't been so furious. He stepped back and the reporter scrambled out of his seat leaving his lunch unfinished. Ashton walked back into the kitchen, Hima fast on his heels. He kicked the door open to the break room and headed for the speed bag hanging in the corner. He'd learned the hard way punching walls usually resulted in the wall winning the fight so he'd given himself something easier on his hands.

Hima watched him from the door, his back and biceps rippling as he went two minutes at full speed. When he finally turned around she could see the anger had cooled somewhat. She hated that her boss looked incredibly sexy when he was angry.

"Are you gonna tell me what happened?" She asked when he turned back around.

"Nope, it'll just piss me off all over again, and I gotta get ready for another fucking interview. With a guy who already doesn't like me," Ashton put this coat back on and headed into the line to check on Rafi.

At least the second interview can't be worse, she thought, wishing she believed it.

*********

Calum eased his beat up Range Rover into the parking lot of Anne-Marie's amongst the Mercedes, Audi's, and Teslas. He cursed the traffic when he checked the time. He was late, and they were busy. Not a good look he thought, grabbing his bag.

He smiled at the ladies waiting for a table before introducing himself to the impossibly serene hostess. He was quickly led to a table in an alcove not far from the kitchen. As he pulled out his voice recorder and notebook, he noticed a young woman heading his way. Her black hair was knotted tightly in a bun on top of her head, and her chef's coat had a large streak of what might be hollandaise sauce. He remembered his editor, Jacqueline, telling him Anne-Marie's had a female sous chef. He checked the notes she'd given him quickly as she was stopped by a server. Hima, Culinary Institute of America graduate, 23, Indian maybe?

"Hello I'm Hima Singh, you must be Calum Hood," she greeted him. From up close, he noticed that her eyes were a rich golden brown and that her smile didn't reach her eyes. He chalked it up to her youth; his editor said she was 23 but she looked like a teenager. He mentally stopped himself there. He'd become jaded by one too many husband/wife teams in recent years trying to rebrand a post-divorce startup as a "new adventure." While the divorce was true, Calum knew Ashton's history.

"Yup that's me, it's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Hima," he shook her hand, relieved to see her relax a bit.

"Chef Irwin will be out shortly. He's helping with a problem in the back" she glanced towards the kitchen, and Calum had a feeling she was lying.

"Can I get you something while you wait? Do you like coffee? We have a house blend cold brew Chef Irwin selected himself that we roast and grind on-site," she asked motioning towards the sign listing the daily selection of teas and coffee.

"Thanks, but maybe not coffee. I'm nervous enough without more caffeine," he admitted, "but the lavender and blackberry infused lemonade sounds amazing." He smiled and her face softened.

"Absolutely," she signaled to Zia who brought Calum his drink and a basket of warm, fluffy yeast rolls with Anne Marie's cinnamon honey butter. The smell reminded Calum he'd skipped breakfast as his stomach began to rumble.

"So you're Chef Irwin's sous chef? I heard a rumor you were a partner as well," he asked, almost drooling as he tore into the soft bread, watching the steam escape.

"Yes sir," Hima's smile finally reached her eyes, and she sat down across from him. "When he got his core team together for Anne Marie's, there's three of us total. Desean and Rafi are his kitchen managers, and he gave us the opportunity to buy in as minority investors, no pun intended."

"These rolls are incredible. Please take one before I finish this whole basket and ruin my lunch. How long have the three of you worked for Ashton, excuse me, Chef Irwin?" He asked.

"Desean and Rafi were part of his Lune Rouge crew. They go way back, but he met me fresh out of school and took me under his wing," she told him.

"Did you go to CIA?" Calum was jotting down notes, getting a feel for the story.

"I wish, it's so pretty up there. My twin brother attended Brown, and I went to Johnson and Wales so we could stay close."

"You're a twin? Is he a chef as well?" Calum asked.

"Are you kidding? He's a lawyer, of course, my parents had to have one in the family," Hima laughed.

Zia appeared beside their table. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Rafi is looking for you, Hima."

A worried frown replaced her warm smile and Calum felt his nerves bubbling back up. He glanced around and caught sight of Ashton, flushed and sweaty from the heat of the kitchen, poking his head around the corner. Their eyes met, and Calum felt like he'd been hit by lightning.

Hima saw his reaction and whipped around to see what Calum was looking at. Spotting her boss she quickly excused herself and hurried to the back.

Zia cleared her throat and Calum realized she was still standing next to his table.

"Would you like to try Rafi's plantain skewers while you wait? It's my favorite thing here, and it'll leave room for whatever these geniuses cook up," she asked with a smile and a wink.

He nodded and she headed to the server station to put the order in. Calum looked around and started taking notes. The most striking thing about the decor was how they'd used diffused skylights for soft lighting to accent the Nakashima-style crafted wooden furniture. Thanks to his Mom’s love of Antiques Roadshow when he was younger Calum discovered his preference for natural grain wood and bespoke pieces. He liked the use of pastel neon signs to complement the muted green and blue tones of the mosaic tile floors and he thought the framed pictures of what he assumed were family photos of the staff provided a really nice personal touch. The largest photo was in the bar of Ashton and his mother, the restaurant's namesake, Anne Marie.

Zia set a plate down in front of him. "The boss will be out in a minute., Let me get you some more tea," she told him.

The skewers consisted of chunks of pineapple, plantain, red onion, and sweet potato grilled and dusted with chili powder and brown sugar served with a yogurt sauce for dipping.

Calum was almost finished with the first one when Ashton came out of the back, making his way towards him. The chef stopped to talk to several customers, the hostess, and Zia before he made it to Calum's table. Cal licked his fingers, wiping his hands clean with a Sani-wipe before standing up and offering a handshake.

Ashton took his hand and Calum wasn't expecting it to feel so soft. Caught off guard Calum stammered out an introduction as he sat, but he noticed Ashton just nodded, barely listening.

"If today isn't a good day we can reschedule," Calum sipped his tea, his throat suddenly dry.

"I'm here aren't I?" Ashton snapped. He folded his arms across his chest, his hazel eyes narrowing at Calum. "I still remember your first review you know."

Calum's pulse was racing. He hated confrontation, and he hadn't expected Ashton to kick off right away. He knew he'd better suck it up and apologize if this wasn't going to go completely off the rails.

"Listen, I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have been such a dickhead." As he spoke Ashton scoffed at him and Calum felt his cheeks get warm. "I was young and stupid. I let something personal affect that review. I'm sorry."

"Personal? With Luke? What do you mean by that?" Ashton went from annoyed to hostile.

Calum realized he'd said something wrong but wasn't sure what exactly. He was floundering trying to think of what to say next.

"Nothing with Luke, no no no. I was involved with Finn and we weren't getting along. It's so stupid I know, but I think you're a great chef. The new place looks incredible, and Hima is a delight."

The anger drained from Ashton's face, leaving him looking empty and sad. His head dropped to his chest, and Calum held his breath waiting for him to speak.

"I'm really sorry, it's not you, but I can't do this right now. Maybe we can reschedule or something. My apologies, but I have to get back to work," Ashton mumbled, standing up.

Calum spotted Hima watching them from the podium, chewing on her lip, her black eyes wide with concern as Ashton hurried back to the kitchen. Calum started to get up but she was too quick for him.

"Well, aren't you lucky. I'm going on my lunch and I hate to eat alone," she slid back into the seat across from him. "Please forgive my boss. He's had a rough day, but I'm better company anyway." She waved to Zia who headed their way. "You gotta try the toasted gnocchi with gorgonzola cream sauce if you like cheese, but if you want something lighter the apple carrot kale wrap is excellent too," she smiled at him, and to her relief he smiled back, both of them realizing the situation might be salvageable after all.

(A/N: y’all my tag list, much like my life, is a hot mess. I know some of what I write isn’t for everyone. If you want tagged in part 2 of this fic or my upcoming smuts, pink kink series, or dad!calum series please let me know. I apologize for my previous mistake)

@sublimehood @tea4sykes @be-ready-when-i-say-go @scribblesos @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @wildmichaelflower @castaway-cashton @damselindistressanu @notinthesameguey @cashtonasfuck @irwinkitten @mermaidcashton @malumsmermaid

#calum hood #ashton irwin #5sos writing collab #cashton smut #cashton slash #Calum Hood smut #ashton irwin smut #cashton #calum 5sos #ashton fanfic #ashton 5sos #5sos

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malumsmermaid · 4 years

Text

Summer Days

Part of the 5SOS writer collab headed up by @h0tsos and @maluminspace

Based on the prompt “I don’t know if you noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I almost never do.”

Camp Counselors Malum

Writing Collab Masterlist

Warnings: None! All Fluff

Word Count: 1.9k

After a semester of student teaching for one of their college courses, it was time for summer, and Calum and Michael had decided to stay in town and hold down the apartment for their other two roommates who were electing to go home. Once finals had wrapped up and they said goodbye to the classes they’d been working with they began looking for jobs. They were both sitting in bed together when Michael found an available job working a summer day camp. The pair talked about it for a few minutes before applying, assuming playing games and mainly supervising kids would be easier than lesson planning and having to actually teach things. Plus they were excited by the possibility of seeing some of their kids again, so Calum pulled out his laptop and they sat side by side as they applied.

After about two weeks it was clear that this was different. For one thing, due to low staffing, the kids were all split up into three groups instead of one group per grade level. So now, even though Michael and Calum recognized some of the kids in their group, some of those kids who were bearable during the school year now had some slight sibling drama. Then there were the parents, something Michael and Calum had yet to deal with. Half of them were fine, nice people who cared about their kids and were happy to hear about their day during pick up. The other half, however, was a mix of Karens and Beckys, some of them stay at home moms who were just getting the kids out of the house so that they could go have margs with their girl friends and have a spa day to wash away the stress of the thought of them actually being parents. Some of them even had Michael wondering if he should go to the pharmacy and get a second flu shot for that year.

However, despite some of the parents they had to deal with and the occasional drama, both sibling spats and between groups of friends, Michael and Calum were really enjoying their summer job. They kept up their school year tradition of every other payday one taking the other out for a date night, whether it was as simple as going out to dinner and a movie, or a sunset picnic, or a nice night in the bowling alley.

It was five weeks in, and even with kids coming and going with the weeks, some just disappearing for a one week vacation, others having other camps to go to, things had steadied. It was a rainy Friday at the start of the Fourth of July weekend, so attendance was low to begin with, some kids leaving early. A few of the kids who were there were upset over swim time being cancelled on account of the thunder, but Calum had run down to the gym, claiming it for their group as a replacement for the hour of swimming.

Calum gone to set up the games and the crafts set up on the counter to dry until parents came, Michael and the other leader started a round of Heads Up Seven Up to keep things quiet and calm until Calum said he was ready. Finally, Calum radioed down that everything was ready and Michael got all the kids lined up, hovering to the back of the line as they made their way through the rec center to the gym. Once in the gym, the kids all gathered around Calum and he smiled saying, “Ok, since it’s a small group today, we’re doing stations. We’ve got two boxes of four square, two spots for basketball games, and then some jump ropes and hula hoops. I’m gonna put on some music and whenever it stops you have to move to a new station, alright?” The kids all cheered and Calum smiled continuing, “Alright, I’m going to give you each a number and that’s going to be the station you’re starting at, ok?”

Once the kids were all split up into groups and ready to start, Calum made his way over to the radio, pulling up a Kidz Bop only playlist on his phone that was already connected to the AUX jack and hitting play. The two men hovered around each other, eyes on the playing kids. After a few songs Michael hummed, “Can’t wait to go home and make dinner with legitimately any other playlist on.”

Calum smirked, hand coyly reaching up to rub Michael’s back, “Bold of you to assume that I won’t overtake the speaker and put this right back on.”

Michael shot his boyfriend a sharp look, filled with a threat that he couldn’t voice at work. Calum just bit his lip in response, pausing the music before a fifth song could play and calling out “Time to switch!”

They made it through three station changes before one of the kids from Michael’s class earlier that year came running over, “Mr. Michael!!! Come play HORSE with us!!”

Michael gave Calum a wide eyed stare as the other kids in the group came running over, grabbing him by his hands and dragging him over to their half of the basketball court. He ended up making the first few easy shots, but then one of the kids made a shot from beyond the foul line. Calum could read the anxiety in his boyfriend’s face when it was his turn, silently begging the younger man to change stations early to rescue him.

Calum, however, remained strong, knowing an army of upset kids was worse than Michael missing the shot. At least, until he watched the blonde’s feet slip out from under him as he shot, toppling backwards onto the floor as the basketball fell to the ground halfway between him and the hoop.

Calum quickly jogged over, phone left on top of the radio. He helped Michael to his feet, the pair holding on maybe a second or two longer than necessary before Calum pulled away, “Need an ice pack?” he teased lightly as Michael rubbed the back of his head.

“Nah, I think I’ll live,” the blonde returned, smiling as the kids checked on him too. “Besides, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I almost never do, but especially with sports stuff.”

The kids all giggled at Michael’s response and Calum hummed. “Fine, I guess we can swap, then. Mike, you run the music and I’ll play HORSE. We’ve got until the end of this song before they need to switch again.”

Michael gave his boyfriend a teasing salute before going over to the music, tapping the screen to see how long until the song was over. He hummed as he saw texts from their group chat with Luke and Ashton. As soon as the song was over he paused the new one and made the switch stations call. Once the kids were all moving in the same direction, Calum getting pulled into four square, Michael opened the texts, using Calum’s passcode. He skimmed the latest line from Ashton, something about one of his plants. Michael just opened Calum’s camera, pulling the phone super close to his face for a picture.

Can’t talk, working right now. Plant update t-minus 3 hours.

As soon as the message sent Michael put the phone back down, watching on as Calum tried to take it easy on the kids, even if none of them returned the favor. Calum ended up trapped at four square for the rest of the time in the gym, Michael jumping when he realized it was ten minutes past when they were supposed to be having afternoon snack. Calum gathered a kid from each group to help him get everything back in the equipment room, everything going away much quicker than it had come out, and soon enough they were back in the classroom.

Two hours later and there were three kids left out of all the groups, other leaders leaving Calum and Michael to wait with the kids in the game room while they cleaned the classrooms before clocking out. Calum was sitting in one of the chairs in front of a tv, a kid next to him in another chair as they played minecraft. Michael was sitting at the table with the other two kids, signout book by his elbow as he colored with them. Soon enough the two kids with Michael were going home with their stepdad and Michael picked up the crayons and extra sheets of paper. Once they were back in the closet he picked up the binder and meandered over to the xbox station.

Calum let out an exasperated sigh as Michael leaned up against the back of his chair, knocking down a stair block again. “Julien how do you get the stairs to go upside down like that dude?”

“You jus gotta fly over and like, plop a block and then aim for the top.” Julien explained.

“Oh gosh, I keep forgetting that we can fly right now...how do I do that again?”

Michael snorted and Calum spun around, giving him his best puppy eyes as he pouted, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I almost never do.”

Michael chuckled softly as Calum repeated his earlier statement back to him. He shoved down the temptation to kiss the pout off of Calum’s lips, instead turning to look at Julien, “Are you enjoying explaining how to play Minecraft to Mr. Calum, Julien, or would you like some actual help with your treehouse?”

Julien’s face lit up as he looked up at Michael, “Please??”

Calum just shook his head in defeat, handing the controller over as Michael pulled up another chair, setting the binder in Calum’s lap as he leaned forward, listening as Julien explained his vision for the treehouse project.

Right as Calum was about to call the main office to let them know that there was still one kid at their site, Julien’s mom came running in. They chatted for a minute, Julien excitedly telling his mom about beating Michael at HORSE “because he fell down and Mr. Calum had to take over.”

Once Julien was sure he had all his stuff and they’d cleaned up, Michael and Calum went into the office, signing onto the tablet to log their hours for the day before making their way to the car. As they sat in their seats, Michael queuing up music for the drive home, Calum turned in his seat asking, “Does your head still hurt from knocking against the floor, Mikey?”

Michael hummed, glancing towards his boyfriend and then the ceiling as he pretended to think, “Maybe a little…”

Calum grinned, leaning over, gently pushing Michael’s head so he could smooch the back of it. “Better?”

Michael smiled, shaking his head no and tapping his cheek next, then his nose, and then his lips, each one following a new kiss from Calum in the previously tapped place. Michael sighed when Calum broke the kiss to his lips too soon for his liking. “More kisses when we get home, I promise.” Calum teased easily, finally pulling his seatbelt over his shoulder.

“I can live with that. Want me to teach you Minecraft after dinner, or were you enjoying Julien telling you what to do?”

“Maybe if you can properly motivate me I’ll learn it.” Calum said, wiggling his dark eyebrows at Michael.

“So long as you don’t forget afterwards,” Michael said, grin spreading his cheeks as he put the car in drive and began the route home.

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#calum hood #michael clifford #malum #calum hood fluff #michael clifford fluff #malum fluff #5sos writing collab

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