#9 hours ago & barely got anything done

[unlosts]

hi !!

i'm pretty sure it was me w the perfume request! (my brain is so scattered i barely remember what i asked for but!! i'm so so excited to read it when you're done <33) (btw i'm loving the spencer fics and i'm psyched for more, your writing is so beautiful 🥹🫶🏼)

A/N: Thank you so much for your request! It was exactly the one I lost. Hope you like it, I had a lot of fun with it 🫶🏼.

Also no one asked but I'm a firm believer that Hotch is a Grey Vetiver by Tom Ford guy, or he should be!

At exactly 9:18 the sound of the elevator opening interrupts the quiet morning, Aaron Hochner walks out heading briskly towards his office, coat over his shoulders and briefcase in hand, nodding in greeting to the rest of the team who collectively turn to stare at him with various degrees of confusion plastered on their faces. 

“I was about to call a S.W.A.T team,” Says Emily, stopping him in his tracks “again.” 

At that Hotch finally turns to face them, his usually pristine white shirt wrinkled like he had picked it off the floor that morning. 

“Excuse he?” He asks, brow arched. 

Derek lets out a laugh at this, languidly spinning his chair from side to side but before he can say anything JJ, ever the mediator, interrupts “You’re just not usually this late, we were starting to worry.”

“Yeah, cuz y’know you have a bad track record” Says Penelope with a grimace, she’s perched by Morgan's desk toying with a feathery pink pen while she talks.  

“They were worried, I just knew you were maybe having some fun for once” Derek chimes in with a smile, letting out a huff when Pen pokes his side with her pen. 

“There’s no need to make a scene out of it, I’m sure I've been late plenty of times before” He tries to say in a stern enough tone that they’ll hopefully drop the subject. 

It would be easy to classify it as merely teasing but Hotch knew the entire team worried about him, namely about his lack of a social life outside of work. And usually he would entertain their banter for longer but he really is late today and he can already feel the beginning of a headache forming. 

“Actually," Spencer adds without looking up from his paper“this year, you were only late three times, the last one being about two and a half months ago on July when you had a flat tire and had to wait for triple A”.

“Thank you for that, Spencer” Hotch says, shooting him a look.

“No problem”   

“Nothing happened, I just got stuck in a bad pile up on my way there and I was already cutting it close beforehand, so if you all could focus back on your files that would be great, we have to present our consults before 5 today” He says trying, and failing to regain a modicum of authority. 

Just when he thought that they had tired themselves out, the elevator opens up again and you spill out of it, carrying with you the floral scent of your perfume and a dazzling smile that spells nothing but trouble for him. The kind that makes him stay up until 2am in the middle of the week and turns what was meant to be a quick shower into a half hour delay. 

“Hello hello, sorry for being so late, there was a bad bad pile up on my way here” You speak without pausing once for breath, your heels click clacking on your way to your desk where you unceremoniously dump your coat and purse on top of your desk. Heading for the kitchen to brew a new pot of coffee. 

On your way there you playfully ruffle Spencer’s hair and wink at Pen, who can’t help but comment on your good mood “Well aren’t you happy this morning missy” 

You make eye contact with him for a split second and Hotch can feel his throat dry up, he always felt like you breathed life into any room you walked in, the sun patterns following your steps whenever you went. So it makes sense that even now in the middle of fall he feels something warm settle over him even with such a brief look. 

He thinks he’s been staring at you for hours when it couldn’t have been more than a couple of seconds, by the time he snaps out of it he finds Emily regarding him with a quizzical eye and a smile that does nothing for his brewing headache. 

“Well, I’ve just been having a very nice week” You reply pointedly “even went and got myself a new perfume” He did, actually, but it’s not like you can say that. 

Seeing an out in the conversation he starts once more to go towards his office before he’s interrupted, once again, by one Emily Prentiss. 

“Huh” She says, pinning him down with a perfectly arched eyebrow

“What?” He asks exasperated, quickly losing his patience. 

“Aren’t you testy today?” She teases “I was just thinking about the fact that you both got stuck in traffic, despite coming from opposite sides of the city, that’s all” And with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders that’s anything but, she turns to work on her files. 

You pop out of the kitchen carrying with you two expertly done mugs of coffee, and even better timing, hastily sitting by Emily’s desk and leaving one mug in front of her. 

“I was hoping you could look over one of my cases with me? I’ve been stuck for ages and I could use a fresh set of eyes?” 

“So this is bribery coffee?”

“No, the bribe is the very nice bottle of red I have back at my place that’s all yours next girls night, the coffee is just because I’m a delight to be around” You reply grinning at her. 

Emily huffs a laugh and with everyone distracted Hotch finally makes his escape, shutting his office door and basking in the blissful quiet of his office. 

He spends the next hour and a half failing to fill expense reports, his mind wandering to your hair splayed on the pillows this morning; you staring up at him in the shower, a droplet of water running from the bridge of your nose to rest on your lip being kissed away by him. The exact dazzling smile from this morning but all his to keep.

The lost twenty minutes after dressing he spend with you pressed against the entrance door, your hands running over his back.  

With an hour left to go before lunch and a creek in his neck from leaning his head on his palm all morning he gives up and goes to get himself his second coffee of the day.

In the kitchenette right by the vending machine is his headache personified, getting herself a bag of skittles. 

While he makes his coffee Emily pauses next to him and extends the bag of candy in a silent offer that he declines with a shake of his head, right before leaving she says “I do love the new cologne, very summery fresh, but just a heads up, I do think she wears it better than you” 

[litfiction]

oneshot one four three ❤️‍🩹

pairing — paige bueckers x fem!reader

content & warnings — "four years of heavy hearts and unspoken words meet in the gampel pavilion parking lot, rehashing old wounds" , uhm just poorly written angst sorry...

word count: 1.9k , notes @ the end (i'm sorry for this)

[PRESENT DAY, 30 SECONDS AGO]

“I just wanted you to know.”

It’s been four years. Four years of pain you thought you numbed. You thought you numbed. Because now that wound in your heart you had tried so hard to ignore felt fresh all over again.

[4 YEARS AGO]

Maybe you should’ve seen it coming. Maybe you did see it coming. Doesn’t make reality hurt any less. That’s just the harsh truth. Paige’s life was changing, her future having so much in store for her. A future that you aren’t in.

She left for Connecticut two hours ago. Her last message to you was five minutes ago.

paige :) 9:13PM

Boarding now

I’m sorry

You blocked her number after staring at the message for another five. Childish, sure, but so was your hoping things would work out for you. Hoping long distance would work out. But Paige was barely out of state and look where you were now. A sick game it is, love. Not fit for childish hopes.

[PRESENT DAY, 2.5 HOURS AGO]

“Please! It’ll be fun I swear!” Your best friend begged. She’s been begging you to go with her to a UConn basketball game. You would but you got off a plane not even two hours ago and entry to the game venue was in less than one. But your best friend is nothing if not persistent and you relent to her continuous pleas.

Within 45 minutes you’ve showered, picked out an appropriate outfit, and done minimal makeup. You wanted to look at least a little more presentable.

Your best friend, Elsie, rushes you out to her car to drive you to the UConn campus from her apartment. She hops out of the car excitedly, telling you all about the friends that let her know about this game. You nod to the sound of her voice but you don’t pay attention to the words she’s saying.

This is a women’s basketball game. You don’t realize you’ve said that out loud until Elsie looks at you and says, “Duh,” with a weird expression on her face.

You don’t say anything but silently, you dread every step closer you take to the arena, knowing what (or who) you’ll probably be facing in a matter of minutes.

Elsie spots her UConn friends near the entrance to Gampel Pavilion and runs excitedly up to them, waving you over quickly when she notices you didn’t follow her. You walk behind the small group of girls quietly, having said minimal introductions. The place is already packed and buzzing with energy as soon as you step inside.

You follow the way to a registry table and then to your seats. It’ll still be a few minutes until the athletes come out so you take that precious time to calm your nerves. Elsie notices you breathing heavily and shaking your leg and sends you a concerned look. It snaps you back into a more normal state. You were probably worrying for nothing.

Except when the UConn Women’s Basketball team, or more specifically, a certain blonde on the team, emerges from the tunnels, the stands erupting in cheers, people clapping loudly next to you, it feels like the world stops to lend you that moment of time to feel everything again.

[4 YEARS AGO]

“You could’ve told me sooner.” Your voice was eerily quiet. It unsettled Paige only because she thought you’d be yelling at her. You wanted to, you wanted nothing more than to scream and yell at her but you couldn’t. The only display of emotion coming from your otherwise stoic face were the quiet falls of tears coming from your tired eyes.

“I know, and I’m sorry I didn’t.”

“You let me hope, Paige. You let me hope like an idiot in love that you would choose to stay. Or at the very least, be willing to keep me in your life!” The last sentence rising in volume as you finally felt the anger take over.

She was committed to the University of Connecticut, a thousand miles away from where you currently were in Minnesota. That wasn’t the part that made you angry. You were angry that she had waited until months after she told you where she committed that she couldn’t do long distance.

Your chest burned and your throat constricted with all feelings of grief and anger. Bile rose faster than the words you wanted to scream at her, leaving you speechless.

Paige was quiet herself, too ashamed to say anything further. “I hope everything goes well for you in Connecticut.”

And then you walked out of her house, a red tinge in your eyes and an ugly feeling in your heart.

[PRESENT DAY, 2 HOURS AGO]

Paige ran out with that buzzed feeling running through her. It felt like her veins were electric currents. The crowds cheered loudly upon seeing her and she loved playing into it too much, her teammates smirking at her.

They announced the starting lineups and within a matter of minutes the first quarter to the game had begun with the tip-off.

The game felt good. Paige felt in her element and the the crowds felt energized. It was shaping up to be a great game for the Huskies. For Paige especially. She sank a good number of her three attempts, getting her teammates some assists, making most of her free throws.

By the fourth and final quarter, UConn was up by 11. Their momentum hadn’t slowed down and every player that got to play got a decent amount of points by the end making a decisive victory with the Huskies up by 18 points in the end.

Paige was on a high even after almost everyone had cleared out. She felt amazing, like she could do anything.

Fate has a funny way of testing her.

[PRESENT DAY, 30 MINUTES AGO]

The game ended well. You did enjoy watching (if you count out all the times your eyes drifted to Paige, which in your defense, is hard since she is kind of their star player, which was a lot of times so maybe you didn’t enjoy watching as much you thought) and maybe you’d watch another one (if even thinking about basketball didn’t bring back painful memories).

One of Elsie’s friends was still inside the venue talking with some other people and you were waiting outside for her since she needed a ride home. Elsie was just recapping all the moments she loved from the game and you did your best to agree and respond as enthusiastically. If she noticed you were forcing it, she didn’t say anything.

A door opens and you instinctively turn to where the sound came from. At first, you don’t register who walks out properly because of the canopy of darkness from the night sky.

Then your eyes meet hers and you both freeze. One could argue it’s from the chilly breeze but anyone with two, even one, functioning eyes would be able to tell something was off.

You turn back around quickly, trying to push Paige out of your mind which was much harder now that she was standing the closest she has to you in years. Your attempts are completely futile when you feel a presence behind you and Elsie is making a face at you to turn around.

Reluctantly, you do. And you think you can hear your heart crack like porcelain.

She looks good even in her tracksuit. She still has the same blonde hair and dark roots. The same piercing blue eyes. She still makes you feel the same things she did four years ago. Although now there are more painful undertones as you take her in.

“What are you doing here?” she asks, not accusatory, just in genuine question. It takes you a second to reply back, kind of in shock that she was talking to you again.

“I’m- I’m visiting my friend,” you point over your shoulder to Elsie who waves before turning to walk away, pretending to be on her phone. You’ve told her bits and pieces of your history with Paige but she’s never gotten the whole picture. Whether it was because “it wasn’t that serious” or it hurt too bad (it’s the latter), you’re sure Elsie’s probably figured out the answer herself by now

Paige nods. Neither of you say another word for a solid minute, just standing there quietly, looking at each other. Wondering if this is real life.

Paige isn’t even sure why or how she ended up here, she only vaguely remembers her feet carrying her over like there aren't four years and paragraphs of unspoken words between you two.

You don’t even realize you’re crying until Paige’s hand instinctively reaches out to wipe the droplets away before stopping herself, knowing that that’s probably inappropriate to do now. Every fiber of your being wishes she didn’t because you’d have let. You’d have let her do whatever, no matter how reckless.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers. It’s so faint you have to strain to hear it. “Why are you apologizing again?”

“Because I still don’t think I’ve said it enough. I really am sorry.”

You only sigh but add a nod along with it. “It’s okay.” Except it really isn’t. Somehow the pain is worse than the first time she said it. All you want at this moment is for the pain to stop. For Paige to not say anything further for fear it’ll only make it worse.

But she has a knack for doing the opposite of what you want.

“I’m not sure I should even be saying this, or even be here really, but I regret doing what I did to you. I regret it so much.”

“So why did you do it? Why’d you let me believe we could work it out? That you’d let me be there for you? I was willing, Paige.” Quiet sobs wracked your body, threatening to get louder as she stays silent again.

She’s crying now too. Paige contemplates what to say next, trying to gather her thoughts but that’s the thing about you, she’s never been able to think properly around you. So she blurts whatever response her brain conjures up.

“I was scared.”

“Scared? Scared of what?”

“Of the possibilities.” She’s quiet. You’re quiet. Dead silence falls between you two.

“You think I wasn’t too? I was so terrified of all the things that could go wrong. But I loved you enough to not care, even when you chose the possibility I was the most scared of.” Anger flooded your body again. This was so unfair.

“Everyday I wish it wasn’t the one I chose. But I got in my head and didn’t want to lose you while we were thousands of miles apart.” The “so I lost you while we were three feet apart” hangs in the air.

Nothing else comes out of your mouth. You’re too tired for this conversation.

[PRESENT DAY, 1 MINUTE AGO]

You thought when you walked away that day four years ago would be the worst pain you’ve ever felt. That turned out to be a lie as thirteen words fell from Paige’s lips.

She didn’t say anything else but as the final blow to your already worn out heart, she lets herself hold you in her arms, giving a light kiss to your temple before walking away to her car.

You sobbed dryly as she drove off, the last words she said to you ringing in your ears.

“I still love you. I never stopped. I just wanted you to know.”

🔖 — day two! chose a pretty vague prompt and went angsty with it. idk how to feel about this honestly i hope my angsty writing improves... lmk how you liked it! thank you sm for reading 🤍

[lila-lou]

✨ His only exception - Pt. 5/? ✨

Summary: 12 months ago, Butcher went above and beyond to have you join his team. You had a simple office job at Supe Affairs. The same thing every day, working from 9 to 5 and watching Butcher and his team defeat one renegade after another. One evening, however, something changed.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: Language, angst, soft Ben, injured Reader

Word Count: 3117

A/N: This is part 5 of “His only exeption”.

English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

After a few minutes, Ben finally had control of himself again. Looking around, he saw the chaos he had caused. "Fuck!", he cursed loudly before looking out for you. For a second the thought that he had killed you overwhelmed him. However, when he heard your weak heartbeat, he immediately ran towards you.

Ben was more than surprised that he had lost control. Of course he wasn't happy at all about what he had just saw. About the fact that you had made such a scene for him last night, but let yourself be touched by that fuckface. Still, he had absolutely not expected such a reaction from himself. What have you done to him?

It all started when he first saw you at Supe Affairs. He knew even then that he wanted you. He had to have you. You were the only reason he came back to Butcher's team, why he didn't blow up all the cocksuckers. When he finally got Butcher to let you join his team and you met him for the first time, his urge to make you his own only grew stronger. He would never forget how you stood in front of him back then. How you started to stutter as he walked up to you and held out his hand to introduce himself, something he didn't do with any of the others. How you bit your bottom lip as your sparkling eyes looked up at him. You barely reached his chest, you were so delicate that he was afraid of breaking you the first time a mission became dangerous and he had to push you out of the way to save you.

However, as you slowly got used to everyone, especially Ben himself, and started showing your true self, he couldn't cope anymore. You had way too big a mouth and absolutely no problem expressing and justifying your opinion until the other person gave up. You were damn smart, able to articulate yourself properly and had the ability to convince anyone without even trying. And fuck, you were cheeky. He liked that most. Your sassy retorts when Butcher approaches you and your snarky comments to Frenchie's nonsensical ideas. He just liked you. And more importantly, he respected you. And that meant more to Soldier Boy than anything else. Even if someone held a gun to your head, you stuck to your fucking attitude. Many might have described you as stubborn, but for Ben it meant being strong and staying true and loyal to the end. Even though you were human. Even though you were just a fucking woman. For him, the weakest creature in the world. He respected you.

From the first moment he had a connection with you that he couldn't explain to himself. And this connection grew stronger hour by hour, day by day. Until yesterday when he finally lost his self-control.

When Ben saw you in the rubble of the bar, he almost felt guilty. As carefully as he could, he picked you up from the ground and held you lightly to his chest. You were unconscious. Your legs and arms hung limply from your body as he carried you to the car.

“I got you”, he murmured.

At that moment he didn't care about anything. He didn't care that he screwed up the plan, he didn't care that the deep escaped, he just wanted you to be okay.

While he held you with one hand, he used the other to push the seat into a reclining position before placing you on it. For a moment he just looked at you. Your face and body were covered in dust and small scratches, your sprained wrist was definitely broken now, as were some of your ribs. He was sure that despite your injuries and pain, you would insult him, scream at him or even be mad at him. That was the last thing he wanted. Ben didn't want to hurt you in any way, and yet he did. It was unintentional, but unfortunately it didn't change the end result.

Ben got behind the wheel, started the car and drove to your apartment. He knew your life wasn't in danger because he heard that all of your organs were functioning normally. You had hardly lost any blood either.It seemed like the force of the explosion had thrown you too hard against a wall.

After a while you started to move. “Ben?”, your voice was weak and you were more than disoriented. “Yeah?". His large, heavy hand found its way to your thigh, where it lingered as his thumb repeatedly stroked up and down your soft skin. You blinked a few times before looking at Ben, who was watching you with a blank expression, even though he was still driving.

“Ugh…my head hurts”, you grumbled, narrowing your eyes. "What…what happened? Why did you blew up?".

Ben just took a deep breath and looked back at the road before removing his hand from your thigh. A familiar silence filled the car, broken only by your panting as you tried to sit up.

“Don´t fucking move. You probably broke a rib or two".

"Yeah, it feels like that".

You didn't exchange another word the entire drive home. Instead, you kept looking at each other, trying to read each other's minds, but even more wanting to make sure the other was okay. He wanted to make sure you didn't suffer any more serious injuries while you kept an eye on Ben for fear he might explode again.

After almost half an hour, Ben parked the car in front of the apartment. As Ben unbuckled himself, you spoke up. "I thought you had it under control?". No answer. Ben stood up, walked around the car and picked you up before you tried any longer to somehow get out of the car. As he carried you in like a bride, you looked at him from below.

"Don't look at me like that", he grumbled, his voice deeper and rougher than before.

Just as Ben was placing you down on the living room couch, Butcher stormed in with Hughie.

“I almost had him!”, Butcher shouted, ripping off his jacket and carelessly throwing it towards the armchair.

“Almost had it? Are you kidding me?! If I hadn't pushed you away, you would have been cut in half by now!", Hughie scolded back before spotting you and Ben.

"What happened?", he immediately asked in shock, walking towards you. "Fucking perfect! So, no Homelander and no fucking Fishcunt either", Butcher raised his hand, waved off and went into the kitchen to get a beer.

A soft, pained groan escaped you as you slowly sat up. While Hughie's worried gaze was on you, Butcher stared at Ben from the kitchen as he sipped his beer. “The plan didn’t quite work”, you mumbled, but as you answered, you continued to stare at Ben, who maintained your eye contact before straightening up. “She’s fine”, Ben commented. “I'm going to take a shower”, he added and disappeared into the bathroom.

“Oi, what happened?”, Butcher joined you and Hughie and held out a beer to both of you.

“Kevin knew all too quickly that something was off. As he and Ben were fighting, I somehow got in the way”, you lied, looking at your broken wrist. “And the cunt won or what?”, Butcher asked incredulously. “No, but… Ben helped me and Kevin was able to escape”, you mumbled. “Well fucking shit”, Butcher cursed. “Hopefully MM and the others had better luck”.

Butcher didn’t believe a single word you said, but he was still too angry at Hughie and himself to pursue your lies any further.

“You really should see a doctor (y/n)”, Hughie took your injured wrist. “You need a ride?”.

You just shook your head in response. Your nerves were on edge and all you wanted to do was to hide under the covers. "It's not that bad… I… should sleep, my head is buzzing and everything hurts… wake me up when there's news from the others, okay?". Hughie narrowed his eyes briefly before he sighed. “Lie down in my room. At least you’ll have some peace and quiet”. You nodded gratefully at him before disappearing into Hughie’s room.

The next time you opened your eyes it was pitch black. You sat up sluggishly and weakly and took slow steps towards the living room. You feel like you're being run over. Your forehead was beaming, your face was red and your eyes were glassy as you saw Ben on the sofa with a bottle of whiskey. "Where are the others?", You asked quietly, leaning on the armrest of the sofa. "They have A-Train. Trying to get something out of him", he grumbled, still looking at the television. Your legs started shaking and your vision blurred. It felt like your body was burning. “Ben, I think…” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before you collapsed. Ben's quick reaction prevented you from hitting the floor. “Alright, I got you drama queen”, Ben murmured as he caught you.

“Hey, (y/n)”, he tried to wake you up by lightly slapping your cheek a few times

However, when Ben heard your weakening heartbeat, he actually became slightly nervous. He focused on you and your body. A few seconds passed before he heard blood running down inside your upper body.

"Fuck", he cursed loudly. While you were already unconscious, Ben thought about what to do. He fought with himself for a bit, but he knew that no matter what he decided, time was running out.

“It’ll either kill you or it’ll help you”, Ben muttered to himself before taking Butcher’s injection kit and pushed you onto the couch with him.

By now it was a race against time. One of your broken ribs must have punctured your organs and the fact that you were still alive was a miracle.

Ben was sure you wouldn't survive an operation, let alone the drive to a hospital.

As your breathing and heartbeat grew weaker, Ben cut his wrist and collected the blood that dripped from the cut in a mug. Due to his fast healing, it took a few tries before he had enough blood. “Come on (y/n). You can do that”, he whispered hastily, pulling your almost lifeless body onto his lap and sucking up its blood with a syringe. Without further ado, Ben tore your shirt off your body and felt your vena cava with his fingertips. When he felt the strong pulsation, he positioned the tip and hoped for the best as he pushed the needle through your soft skin and pumped his blood into your bloodstream.

If Ben hadn't been so focused on you, he might not have missed how hard his own heart was racing as he waited for his blood to take effect.

“C´mon, Sweetheart”, Ben almost whispered as he held you in his arms, stroking your cheek with his blood-stained fingers. If you died now, it would be his fault. Your life would be over because he would have lost self-control.

He bit his lip nervously, his eyes glued to your face. No one should ever see him like that. He was afraid. Afraid for a small, weak human. Afraid for a fucking woman. What did you do to him to make him soft enough to care about you? To care about anything than himself.

He knew he had to put an end to it all. Soldier Boy couldn't be vulnerable. He couldn't have any weak spot at all.

After a few minutes that felt like hours, you suddenly jumped violently, inhaled sharply, and sat upright on Ben's thigh. Your eyes were big and sparkled blue for a few seconds. Shocked and overwhelmed, you rubbed your chest where you felt a strong tugging sensation. Only then did you notice that you no longer had a shirt on. “What the…” you breathed, confused. Your hand slid to your temple, which was throbbing like it was about to explode.

“How you feeling?", Ben looked at you from the side, his eyebrows furrowed. One of his arms was still around your waist. He was just relieved that you were still breathing.

“I…I think”, you started, but the pulsing of your heart interrupted you. The voices on the TV, Ben's breathing, the sound of his thumb stroking your thigh - it all overstained your thoughts. You pressed your palms against your ears, your face contorted in pain. "Make it stop", you begged. With each beg your voice became shriller, more and more tears ran down your cheeks while Ben looked at you disturbed.

“What should I stop?”.

“The noises!”.

The realization was written all over Ben's face. He looked around, wondering how he should help you, before finally knocking you out with a well-aimed blow to the temple.

“Sleep well, sweetheart”, he chuckled, sliding you onto the sofa so only your head was on his lap and pulling the blanket over you. You had some side effects, but that was probably part of becoming a supe this way.

24 hours.

You were asleep until you were rudely awakened by the sweet roar of Butcher and Soldier Boy.

"I didn't fucking kill her!", Ben growled angrily. “It’s been 24 hours! And (y/n) looks absolutely anything but alive!”, Butcher bitched back.

When the rest of the team came home yesterday and Ben told what he had to do, none of the others believed that he really wanted to save you with his half-hearted and hasty action, but he couldn't admit what he had felt in that moment. Not to himself and especially not to Butcher and the rest of the gang.

“I know what your bloody plan is. You've wanted to make her a supe since you first saw her. You think she would be looser and easier then. That she finally lets you into her panties. But I can promise you mate, it won’t work on (y/n)”, Butcher hissed. Ben laughed bitterly and derogatory. “You’re fucking delusional”.

Ben paused for a moment. Unfortunately, Butcher had a point. It would really be an advantage if you were no longer human. No longer easily breakable. But those weren't the reasons why Ben gave you his blood. Not at that moment.

“She would be dead if I hadn’t given her my fucking blood”, Ben insisted.

“Why the hell was she even hurt in the first place? I assigned her specifically to you because I thought if anyone could protect her, it would be America’s ex-golden boy!”.

“You fucking going to start this again?”, Soldier Boy approached Butcher threateningly and stood in front of him. The two of them were so busy measuring the length of their cocks that they didn't notice you slowly sitting up in Soldier Boy's bed. You could hear everything, but it took a while for not only your head but also your body to come back alive.

“Well, that’s a lot of testosterone for a small country like this”, you whispered in a husky voice, catching the attention of the two alpha monkeys.

“Oi, you’re alive. What a damn nice surprise”.

Even though Butcher was talking to you, half-heartedly asking about your well-being, your eyes were on Ben. It still felt like your brain was swimming in your head, so you attributed the tightness in your chest you felt as you looked at Ben to the side effects of… whatever.

“I’m feeling much better, thanks”, you murmured, continuing to maintain eye contact with Ben.

"What happened? Like… after the mission went terribly wrong".

As Ben lowered his head slightly to look away from you, you looked around the room. You were in Ben's room.

"Well, young lady, the twisted Dracula here can tell you", Butcher clapped Ben's shoulders from behind with both hands before leaving the room without another word, knowing full well that if his hands touched Soldier Boy two more seconds, he would have literally ripped his head off.

“Ben?”, you whispered after a few minutes of silence.

He heard your heartbeat and his switch turned.

"You fainted. I gave you my blood. You're alive”. His voice was as monotonous as his facial expression. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion before asking. "What do you mean fainted and you gave me your… blood?“.

Ben rolled his eyes dramatically as always. He was so annoyed with this world today and the fact that everyone was so slow to understand anything or always had to question everything.

“You’re not that fucking stupid, are you? Do I really have to explain every little thing to you now?.

Your look probably said more than a thousand words as Ben groaned in annoyance, crossed his arms and explained to you exactly what had happened.

“I injected you my blood to prevent you from dying. Apparently, it worked. You're still breathing", he shrugged.

"Wait. You didn't know if this would work? Are you kidding me?”.

“Do you think one of my hobbies is to distribute my blood like a sperm donor? The last time I provided my DNA to someone, they bred this fucking son of a bitch. So, no. I didn't know if it would work. And yet, I saved your fucking life! How about a fucking thank you?!”, Ben hissed and took a few steps towards you.

“Did you miss the fact that I broke my ribs just because of you?”, you replied, now also with your arms crossed.

You stood facing each other. So close you could feel the warmth radiating from his chest.

“Why did you lose control in the bar?”. You wanted an answer more than anything.

Ben knew the answer to your question. It was on the tip of his tongue. But he knew it wouldn't change anything. And even if…then what? You thought so poorly of him that you didn't even wanted to kiss him. You were so disgusted with him that you never wanted him to touch you. What on fucking earth would make you let him call you his own?

“Uhhh, there's a lot of tension here, mes chéris. You should definitely talk to each other…naked is best”, Frenchie chuckled as he came in to check you were okay.

———————————

A/N: I'm not a supe-doc, so I had to get creative😅

Hmmm, what could happen in the next chapter? Probably not what you expect 🫣

Please let me know what you think.🥰

-

Part 6

-

Taglist: @deangirl96, @thatgirljayy, @suckitands33, @deans-spinster-witch

[peterparkersnose]

You Over Anyone

pairing: Din Djarin x reader

word count: 2.6k

warnings: jealousy, angst, relationship awkwardness, assault (physical), reader gets cut by a knife, description of assault and defense, blood, din takes care of you, allusions to sex

a/n 97 days until the mandalorian returns !!!! somewhat angsty. there isnt quite enough angst on tumblr that doesnt end up with sex. dont get me wrong, i love a good smut, but sometimes i just need some yelling and frustration. longer fic woohoo!!! wrote it in one night too. i missed din djarin. 

bonus at the end for you guys :)

summary Y/N gets upset when another girl comes around and questions where her relationship stands with Din

masterlist

join the tag list

read time: 9 mins 29 seconds

3 days, 12 hours, and 30 ish minutes. That was the last time Din kissed you, but you totally weren’t counting. How long has it been since he’s touched you? Hugged you? Acknowledged you for anything other than the bare minimum? Your anxious thoughts flew through your mind as you tied up your boots. He had become more and more distant each day since you had found Natalie.

About a week ago you were in the forest looking for a frog to sneak to Grogu. He had listened to you all day and deserved a treat for being a good boy. That is when you came upon a girl, no older than 20. She was almost nude, shivering, and covered in dirt. And drop dead gorgeous.

Against your better judgement you took her back to the crest. Din had basically done the same for you when he found you, why not return the favor?

Natalie showed up in the middle of an awkward time in you and Din’s relationship. Sure, flirty banter has been there ever since you’ve known him. But the last few months you two have been together- sort of. It was confirmed by mutual feelings but never said out loud. You two were everything but girlfriend and boyfriend. I mean, you could have sworn Grogu said ‘mama’ last week. You were raising a child as well as taking the risk of making a new one. He had shown you his face. You had to be something. There was no way you weren’t- right?

Shaking your head and grabbing your weapon, you followed the sound of giggling from outside.

“He does tricks?” Natalie asked, head cocked perfectly in Din’s direction. Her ponytail flew perfectly in the breeze.

“Well, sometimes. Grogu- where’s your ball? Did you leave it on the crest?” Din playfully asked his son, tickling his stomach. All he got and expected as a response was a ‘coo’ from the child.

Taking in the sight of your… Din and Grogu and her made you sick. I mean, she was even wearing your clothes. How much more sick could this get?

“Ready?” you asked, approaching the two hanging your blaster from your belt.

“Actually, I think Natalie and I are going to stay back. I promised her I would teach her how to shoot and…” Din said, the tone in his voice weary.

He saw the way your face dropped, but it flew completely over his head. Your mouth was slightly agape. You stared at him. Then her. Then him.

“Y/N?” Din coughed, breaking you from your haze. “Yeah sure. I’ll take Grogu into town with me.” you said flatly. Without hesitating, you reached for Grogu sitting in his pouch on Din’s waist (god that tiny waste drove you nuts) and secured him in your scarves.

Walking to the speeder, you watched as Din brought Natalie over to the hill the crest was parked on, letting her aim his blaster. His blaster, the one you were forbidden to touch. The pit in your stomach kept growing larger and larger and falling deeper and deeper.

Grogu cooed, noticing his mother was upset. “I’m alright, kid.” you said, smiling putting on a strong face for him. Of course, he could sense everything that was wrong and your phony smile couldn’t fool him. A sad sigh exhaled from the child as he placed his forehead and a tiny green hand on your chest where he sat tightly.

At least someone still wanted you.

Jiggling through the lanyard that was attached to your waist looking for the speeder key, you heard a shout from behind you.

“Y/N!” Din yelled, waving his hand with a slight run towards you.

Your face perked up. A slight smile came on your lips. He was coming back to give you a goodbye kiss, you just knew it.

“Hey,” he said, slightly out of breathe as he reached the speeder. You were ready. Leaning over the speeder towards him, your eyes met through his viser.

“Don’t forget those to buy those special nuts I like. The ones with dragon berry? Remember?”

Your perfect moment was crushed.

“Yup,” is all you could manage out. Your hand had grasped the right key and you sped off, leaving a trail of dust behind you.

***

It was now midday. The hot sun beat down on the two of you. Your scarves were draped over your head, shielding the sun from your eyes.

You felt a tiny scratch on your chest. “Yes, yes. Calm down, we’re going to the Cantina for some food.”

One more sale and it was lunch. The bag of credits in your sleeve pocket was still heavy. You were skimming the blaster modifications when you heard a squeal.

“Is that her, Din?” you heard Natalie say from feet away. “Shh!” he hushed her.

He told her his name. Not Mando anymore. Din.

“Y/N!” Natalie yelled from across the market. You grinded your teeth and took a deep breathe, abandoning any interest in the parts.

“Hi!” you said with the fakest smile you had ever had on your face. “How did you two get here without a speeder?” you asked, a pissed tone silently rode off your lips as your eyes stabbed into his beskar helmet.

“We walked! It was such a nice time in the forest. An hour goes by really fast when your having fun.” Natalie smiled aimlessly at you.

As you couldn’t see, Din was behind his mask with the most tired eyes and annoyed face known to man.

You swallowed.

“I’m starving. Could you get me some food Din?” she said again using his name. “Mando.” he corrected her. “Oh right. We’re using our made up names.” she whispered, giggling heading towards the Cantina.

He stood there for a second, looking you up and down. You knew him well enough behind the mask to notice what he was doing. “Don’t fucking even,” you scoffed, following the bubbly girl into the Cantina. “Don’t what?” he asked, following you confused into the loud bar.

You felt the tears begin to well up in your eyes. Making your way to the bathroom, you shook Din’s hand off of yours trying to gain your attention. “Please,” you yelled a little too loudly, yanking your hand away and making a bee line towards the restroom.

You slammed the stall door shut and waited for the heavy beskar boots to follow you in. He wasn’t the type to leave you. Ever. You waited.

And waited.

And waited. And they never came.

Sitting on the toilet sobbing, you barely remembered Grogu was there. Another scratch on your chest reminded you that he was hungry.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” you sniffled, wiping your eyes and attempting to clean up your red face.

Staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror felt stupid. You had so much pity for yourself. Your braid has become more loose than it was this morning. Strands of loose hair rested next to your face. Your boots had mud on them. Now was not the time to be critiquing yourself but you couldn’t help it. How could you not? Natalie was beautiful, more pretty than you’d ever be. Right?

This time Grogu let out a small growl and you gave in. Turning the corner, you were grabbed near the exit and thrown back into the bathroom.

Laying on the floor confused, you looked up at your attacker. A giant creature with blue horns stared down at you with a smirk on his face.

“I saw that pretty bag of coins on your wrist, ma’am.” he scowled, pointing his long knife down at you. “I would appreciate if we did this the easy way.” he said cracking his neck in both directions.

The blade rested on the middle of your chest. Grogu, being the curious creature he is poked his head out of your swaddle you had made him.

“Well well well, what is this?” he asked, moving the knife to bump the scarf you had around your chest. “I think I will be taking both.” he smiled, revealing his yellow crooked teeth.

Panic flashed your mind as you rolled over, shielding Grogu from his grasp. He let out a loud yell in anger and didn’t hesitate to swipe his dagger at your shoulder, leaving a pretty nasty cut.

“Fuck!” you yelled out in pain, holding the open wound.

Grogu being the good boy he is (he deserves another frog) rolled out of your grasp and waved his tiny hand in the air. The dagger flew from the attackers hand and right into your grasp.

“Good boy,” you whispered as you didn’t hesitate to stab the man near his groin. He cried out in pain as you twisted the knife, then pulled it out. It was covered in purple blood.

You scooped up Grogu and made your way back into the crowded Cantina. You spotted Din with his elbow resting comfortably on the counter talking to Natalie.

“… and then Greef started to complain about-”

“We need to go.” you said in a low voice, grabbing his hand and pulling in the opposite direction. “What?” he asked. “What’s that?” Natalie asked loudly, pointing at the dripping dagger in your hand.

“Shut it for once, won’t you?” you yelled at her. A wave of concern flew over Natalie’s face. “Hey!” Din yelled, sticking his finger in your face. You had to ignore the intrusive thought to bite it.

A large roar came from the Cantina bathroom exit. Everyone’s eyes turned to the creature. “You little bitch!” the man yelled, meeting your eyes in the crowd.

“We need to go.” you ordered, slipping out of the entrance. Looking behind you and gripping Grogu close, you ran to the speeder. Din quickly followed without Natalie on his tail.

You straddled the speeder as you heard your attacker’s yells from behind you. He was a few feet behind Din. At that point, Natalie began to stumble out of the Cantina.

Din held up his hand, signaling for you to start the speeder. The wound on your arm throbbed. With one hand cradling a sleeping Grogu and the other on the speeder handle, you prepared for the worst.

Din made it just in time. “Go go!” he yelled, grabbing your waist tightly as you sped off. That man and Natalie were left in the dust.

The speeder tumbled as you reached the crest. You meant to get fuel on your way back, but that obviously didn’t get to happen.

As the two of you finally stopped, you sat for a moment in silence.

Finally, you flipped around. You handed Din a sleeping Grogu and turned to go back in the crest. Your face was stone cold.

“Are you okay?” Din asked wearily. He was most definitely not getting a response. You walked through the hatch and made it to the medical cabinet. It was funny, you had forgot you had put on a white shirt today and not a crimson one.

“Is that blood?” he asked, removing his helmet and setting Grogu inside of it. He liked to nap there sometimes, it was warm and smelt of his father.

“Why do you care? I’m surprised your not back on your speeder going to find Natalie.” you hissed, cutting your sleeve off to reveal the wound.

“Fuck!” you yelled as the bloody sleeve rolled down your arm. “What? Cy’are what happened?” Din asked, rushing to your aid. “Get away from me.” you hissed back at him, struggling to see straight. “Let me help.” he demanded. “Go ffffucking find her.” you slurred.

Blood was definitely lost.

“Sit for gods sake.” he yelled, pulling up a chair behind you. He pulled out the bacta cream and bandages. “You b-better not fucking touch me Din Djarin,” you yawned.

Ignoring you, he wiped the blood away from the wound. It wouldn’t need stitches, but it would leave a nasty scar. He applied the cream and wrapped your arm up. “Too tight?” he asked, his eyes peering into yours.

“I don’t know why your so worried about me when we left Natalie out there.” you bitched. “Seriously Y/N, too tight or not.” he said ignoring your comment.

“You told her your name?” you slurred, the blood loss just beginning to regenerate.

“What? No. She heard you call me it last night.”

“Oh.”

“Why were you all over her? You could barely even speak to me. It’s obvious that you were just going to leave me somewhere and take her instead.” you mumbled, staring at your muddy and now bloodied boots.

“What?” Din asked, astonished. “What are you talking about, Cy’are?”

He bent down in front of you, his hands on both of your thighs. “Don’t lie,” you said, turning your head away from his. Tears began forming in your eyes.

“Your in love with her Din.”

Din wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his head on your thighs. “You are dreaming, my love.”

“Then why did you-”

“I stayed with her because I thought you couldn’t stand her. I thought I was doing you a favor.” he explained.

I mean he wasn’t wrong.

“But what about-”

“Shh,” he shushed you. “I’m horrible but I’m glad we left her at the Cantina. I didn’t know how much longer I could have gone with her constantly at my hip. I couldn’t be with you, I was starting to loose my mind.”

You carefully grabbed a handful of his brown curly hair. You always forgot how soft it was, never being able to touch it under all that beskar.

“Really?” you sniffled, using your other hand to wipe the tear away.

“We have about another 45 minutes to get off this planet.” he hummed into your jeans, kissing your thigh before returning upright.

“I can’t believe you thought I liked her better,” Din scoffed, now towering over you.

“You let her use your blaster?” you questioned. “She grabbed it.” he sighed, laughing at your question. “So am I allowed to touch it now?” “Absolutely not.”

“But why did you ignore me then? Not even anything. No good morning kiss or sleeping in the same bed or…” “Oh.” he sighed. “I thought you wanted to keep it quiet? Not let her know. I’m sorry,”

“I’d let the whole galaxy see you touch me,” you mumbled. A smile rose to Din’s lips.

His hand turned to your cheek, cupping it ever so lightly. His thumb brushed over your lips. He bent down, giving you a soft kiss on your tear stained lips.

“You over anyone, cy’arika. How I’ve missed you.”

•

yes don’t worry grogu was fed he is well taken care of don’t call cps trust me he got all the frogs and eggs he wanted after that day

tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry @salliebley @peeta-is-useless @bubsonnobx @kirsteng42

bonus:

You lay in his warm grasp for the first time in over a week. His warm skin rested on yours. The hum of the open galaxy surrounding the ship filled your ears. Din’s messy hair sat on him well. His arms ran across your bare chest, holding you with ever such ease. His breaths became more shallow with each second.

“Hey,” he whispered groggily in your ear, pulling you closer. “Mhm,” you replied, pushing yourself into his embrace. You were expecting an ‘I love you’ or ‘I missed your body’ or something romantic.

“Did you remember my nuts? The dragon berry ones?”

“God dammit Din,” you sighed, closing your eyes.

“Did you remember?” he asked, sitting up in bed and peering down at you with a raised eyebrow.

“No Din. I forgot your fucking nuts.”

[libraryofneith]

Out of Mind - Chapter 11 (Joel Miller x Female Reader)

@hiroikegawa @evyiione @orcasoul

Guess who just graduated and got into grad school! And how am I celebrating? By abandoning my academic endeavours for my fics.

I know it's been a slow burn but we are so close I promise!

If you want to be the first to know when this fic is updated let me know and I'll add you to the taglist.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10

Summary: Joel shelters you from the storm

Tags/Warnings: [whole fic is 18+, minors DNI], it puts its age in the bio or it gets the block button, nearly freezing to death, survival, nudity, just for body heat honest

It was funny. Moments ago, all he'd wanted was sleep and now he'd done all that he could do, now that he finally could sleep, he was wide awake.

Joel

The door wouldn't budge. The hinges creaked and groaned with protest and refused to give way. Joel cursed. He would have to put her down.

She gave a muffled cry of protest as he lay her gently in the snow but it couldn't be helped. He was going to have to put his full weight behind this next push and he couldn't do that while carrying her.

She'd collapsed a while back. She'd lasted longer than he'd feared she would but a combination of the cold, the climb and the lack of sleep eventually drained the last of her energy and she'd curled up in the snow, letting the blizzard cover her, refusing to budge.

"We have to keep going."

"Can't."

"C'mon, we're nearly there."

"You said that an hour ago." Had it been an hour? Time didn't seem to mean anything anymore. There was too much snow to see the sky and he didn't have the strength to look up. Just ahead. He had to keep looking ahead.

"You can't stay here."

"Just let me rest a bit. Just a bit. I'll be fine in a minute." Joel had heard that before. Before, he had pressed on regardless, leaving it to the other person to get back up or lie there and let the snow take them. Perhaps she'd get back up if he left her. Perhaps not. He was not taking that chance.

With her in his arms he couldn't shield his face from the snowstorm and he got turned around four times. Five times he thought he spied the cabin but it turned out to be a large tree, if anything at all. So when he finally saw it, he thought it was his mind playing tricks on him again and he nearly sobbed with relief when the house stayed where it was as he walked on. Now he was there and they couldn't get in.

He took a few steps back then rushed forward covering his head as he bulldozed the door open and fell through. It took the rest of his willpower to get back up.

She barely said or did anything as he dragged her in and that chilled him more than any snow or wind. So he got to work quickly. He taped the door shut to keep out the wind, and any other unwelcome elements. Mercifully there was the remains of a fire in the fireplace and some scraps of paper and twigs. Not enough for a huge fire but it would have to do, any wood out there would be soaked. He got the flames going then took out his flask and cursed as he realised the whisky was frozen into slush. He put it by the fire to warm up then turned to her.

"Ciara"

"Mmmph"

"We're inside but we're gonna freeze in these clothes, you understand?"

"Ciara wake up." Her eyes were open but she seemed dazed.

"OK?"

"Ciara we both need to strip naked, can you do that?" She closed her eyes and groaned.

"Do you need me to help?" A nod. Thank god. He hoped she didn't give him hell later. He stripped himself first. It felt weird taking her clothes off while he still had all of his on. Maybe that made no sense but it was how he felt.

He felt no less cold naked than he had fully clothed, but she shivered as each layer of wet clothing was peeled off and when he exposed her skin, it was so icy that he hissed through his teeth like he'd been burned. But he had to keep going or they were both goners. There was still a bed with a duvet so they wouldn't have to use their wet sleeping bags. He grabbed the duvet and blanket and covered them both and they each took a swig of the semi warm whiskey. Joel shuddered at the cold slush but the burning taste helped a lot. He had to help her, tilting her head back so she could drink. She gagged at the taste but kept it down.

It was funny. Moments ago, all he'd wanted to do was sleep but now that he'd done all that he could do, now that he finally could sleep, he was wide awake. Adrenaline was coursing through his body. He couldn't believe they'd actually made it. And now they were lying here. Like two icicles stuck together.

As much as he hated to admit it, he'd imagined being pressed to her naked form so many times but not like this, not with the two of them barely holding on to consciousness. He'd made sure to look as little as possible but the glimpses - the bare shoulders, the curve where her neck met her body, the divot between her shoulder blades… it was the sweetest form of torture. How was a man meant to sleep just inches away from that? Still, he felt his eyes growing heavy as we watched her, her hair cascading down her back, moving with each breath. He found himself fighting sleep but as he gazed at the hair on the nape of her neck, he was pulled into the smell, the feel and the sweet sweet warmth of her.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for trying to block evade?

This happened several years ago, so I'll put the ages that we were at the time.

I [17F at the time], had an extremely close friend [17F] of 3+ years, and I still haven't found any kind of friendship that came close to the level of trust / openness that was there. So some of this backstory ranges from 14yrs to 17yrs.

My home was abusive, and she and her mom helped me figure out what was rational vs irrational, normal vs not normal, and pointing out local resources to get help - which was absolutely amazing and I could not thank them enough.

She invited me to her house pretty regularly, a couple times a week. We'd have hours of skype calls. She got me roped into Undertale & the fandom. Well, not that we really interacted with the fandom at large. We only publically posted some of the art and barely got noticed haha. Between the two of us, we had something like 26 AUs and had a lot of rp with multiverse shenanigans - like over 1200+ pages of google docs rp, because that's where we did like 90% of it. After we hit like 100-200 pages, we'd make a new doc so it wouldn't take so long to load. And we had like, at least like 9 docs I think. I was mostly in it for her, because it was really fun to just make up stories together. I could've done it with any fandom she threw at me, undertale is just the one that was popular at the time.

At one point, I think when we were around 16, I asked her if she wanted to start dating. She said something along the lines of maybe in the future, but not right now - she wanted to focus on school. Even though she declined at the time, she did say she appreciated me asking and that it meant a lot to her. And there were 0 hard feelings about the answer, we just kept on going the way we were going.

She got hit with a really bad level of depression, and stopped coming to school. After 2-3 days, I started calling her every day around lunch time just to check in on her and see how she was doing. See if there was anything I could do to help - bring some snacks, catch her up on classwork for the couple classes we shared, stuff like that. This was for couple months. More than just a mental health day, and the only reason she gave was Depression.

After a week or two of the daily calls, there was probably an aspect of toxic positivity on my end. Like "You gotta Do Something to avoid being trapped in your misery, even if it's just baby steps like sitting outside on the porch or going on a walk down the block" Not maliciously, but more out of not knowing how to handle a situation like this & genuinely wanting to help her because of all the help she's offered me in the past & fueled a little bit by fear because Depresssion is the excuse that my abusive parents used to justify their shitty behavior & neglect. Not because I was afraid of what she'd do to me, but more what she'd do to herself. That's one of the only things I could think where I went wrong, which I completely acknowledge and understand now.

She was still inviting me to her house, and we were still doing our normal thing there. Drawing and writing stories together.

After 4-5 weeks [? estimate, time is an illusion] of her not showing up to school, I can't remember if I asked if it was helpful or if she suggested that I stop calling every day. Calling every day was making her feel worse.

I did end up calling the next day or two at lunch - crossing the boundary was not my intent. We had planned to hang out on the weekend again, lunch is just when I remembered & had time to call to ask if she still wanted to hang out or if she wanted some space. I think she said yes to hanging out, didn't mention anything about crossing the boundary. Same with the next day - there was something I needed to ask clarification on, it wasn't a check in, nothing was mentioned of the boundary. I can't remember what it was now. This is another one of the places where I think I went wrong, which I acknowledge & understand.

I did stop the check ins like requested though. After those two off days, I did stop calling her every day at lunch.

She finished out the school year having shown up to class maybe 3ish times, I think.

Again, we were still hanging out regularly. There was no indication that I was doing anything wrong, there was no indication that anything I was doing was wrong. She was still the one inviting me to hang out at least half the time.

There were some problems that I was noticing that I just wanted to have a casual chat about and figure out, but she kept pushing it off as a "I don't have the energy right now, we can talk about it later" and we'd go back to the fun things. I don't really remember what those problems were.

In the summer, I went to a different state to visit my older sister that I hadn't seen in years. I talked to her about it, I was excited for it. We were still chatting regularly during my trip over skype or discord.

And then, during my trip that I was so excited about, she drops this bombshell. She sends me several massive messages detailing out a bullet point list of everything I've done wrong, that she's explicitly breaking off the friendship, and blocks me. 95% of things on that list either flat weren't true, or gross misunderstandings of what happened.

It was genuinely horrible things too.

For example, one of the things on the list was "Suicide baiting" or "Suicide guilt tripping" or something along those lines, which had happened several months if not a year before this. -I've only ever communicated feeling acutely suicidal to her 1 time. -Long before that, she made me promise that if I ever felt suicidal that I was supposed to immediately talk to her about it, for her own peace of mind so she wouldn't worry about me. -I reached a point of feeling acutely suicidal due to abuse at home & general existential dread, that happened to be during a time we had an issue.

I purposefully waited until after the issue was resolved, like 2 weeks, before telling her. I did that specifically so it would not be taken as a guilt trip or a form of coercion while still holding as true as I could to my promise. She made me promise to tell her, it was something very important to her. I made very clear to say "this is something I experienced a couple weeks ago due to unrelated things, it is resolved now, I got help through xyz means and genuinely feel better. You made me promise to tell you so I am telling you, I didn't want to say anything while we were having a problem for xyz reason." I just wanted to talk, and clear up the misunderstandings. I wanted to have a good conversation about figuring out where the communication went wrong, try and figure out how she came to these conclusions, and how that differs from my point of view. Do something to work it out, and just talk about it, and try and salvage this 3+ year friendship.

After I realized I was blocked, I was going through so so many emotions all at once. The whiplash of going from 5 to 100, Upset that I wasn't given any sort of chance to explain, the 5 stages of grief, being thrown away like the gum off your shoe, worrying about her and if this was the stage of isolation for depression, holding out the hope that we could still just talk and work things out, angry that she kept pushing off and refusing to have any sort of serious talk before this, doubting if anything she had said on 'normal vs not normal' - particularly communication styles, thoughts that maybe she was abusive and manipulative all along, maybe I was continuing the cycle of abuse, trauma flashbacks, anxieties that I had since squashed as 'irrational', fear that this was a sign that she was about to fucking kill herself and maybe the whole list was a lie so I wouldn't try and reach out and stop her, doubting my own reality and maybe the entire list she sent me was true and she was justified in her actions.

Simultaneously trying to process intense feelings and realities if it was true and I'm really secretly a horrible monster, if it wasn't true and she was about to die, and old traumas getting dug out of the grave.

God I was such an emotional wreck and did not know how to process or understand anything that was happening.

This is where the AITA comes in -

I was pushing through back to back panic attacks trying to contact her and figure out what was going on. I didn't want her to die, if that's what was happening. I didn't want to be discarded and thrown away like a piece of trash, if that's what was happening. I didn't want to have 0 chance of learning & growing as a person even if this friendship wasn't salvageable due to my monstrous nature, if that's what was happening.

So I block evaded like fckn crazy. Gmail, pet game sites, discord, skype, deviantart, whatever online platform that we shared that had messaging enabled. I called her phone several times. On the 3-4th call, her mom picked up and told me that none of the above was true. That she wasn't about to die, that I wasn't being thrown away like trash, and that I wasn't a monster. She didn't agree with her daughters actions and thought it unfair to me, but ultimately it was my friend's choice. All simultaneously which just did not compute.

If the list she sent me was true, I was a shitty horrible person. If it wasn't, and she isn't about to die, then not be able to just have a calm sit-down conversation at some point about it and clear it up - if I wasn't worth even attempting to make that effort then I was being thrown away like trash. I kept trying for days afterwards to talk to her - just, anything at all. Nothing got through, she never responded to anything.

And... that was that.

I didn't have a chance to talk to her again. I didn't have a chance to clear up misunderstandings, or understand what I did actually wrong and where, or any sort of closure.

Sometimes if I'm remembering it and feeling paranoid, I'll check and see if she's alive by looking at her online profiles for any activity. Like, maybe once a year tops now. According to the petgame sites, she's still alive at least. I'm assuming she got new social media. Literally it's just a "is she alive, do I have to worry about causing her suicide" check, I don't stalk or look into anything further than that.

Anyway, AITA for how extensively & desperately I was block evading?

What are these acronyms?

[maxwapan]

And I’m Sick for you, Baby

leon s. kennedy x gn!reader

wc. 1.3k

cw. incest, dad Leon, OOC(duh), implied abuse, alcoholism, puke, forced blowjob, gender neutral reader, Leon’s a POS dad

note. Excuse the poor language🤒 english is annoying to understand… also kind of rushed lol || title is Break by Alex G

Your nose smacks against the wiry hair clustered on Leon’s pelvis, the musky, sweaty smell making your face screw up uncomfortably. You’ve been in this position for hours, your knees pressing hard against the wooden floor, face firmly squashed between your father’s thighs, and hands holding wearily onto his hips.

The dull, aching pain in your knees couldn’t possibly compare to the awful, agonizing stretching going on in your throat, though. Even with the lazy rutting of Leon’s hips against your face, you still couldn’t adjust to the size of his dick. It’s not like it’s massive or anything, you’re just not built for this.

His cock was thick and long; veiny with a dark, meaty shade of red that spread further to his tip whenever he got hard. In terms of appearance, that shit was scary-looking. Not cute and pretty like all the other dicks you see in porn videos or magazines, but intimidating and off putting. Like, the type of stuff random guys send you on social media. It’s always a 50/50.

If you could barely fit it down your throat, how were you ever supposed to fit it inside of you? He’d tear you a new one. Literally.

In your defense, you don’t think anyone could suck dick without fucking up somehow their first try. Not unless they were born for it. And you clearly weren’t. You were born to study your ass off for a degree and work a 9-5 in order to not disappoint your parents, none of which you were succeeding in. Obviously. Look at the position you’re in now.

“Christ,” Leon grumbles from above you, a bored, almost annoyed expression on his face. It’s not your fault he’s got a case of whiskey dick, but you’d admit you don’t know what you’re doing. “you’re bad at this.” He states, taking a swing of the small glass in his freehand, his right one. The left tugs at your hair sternly, guiding you further down his cock. Which isn’t much, considering how your face is already mashed against his pubic hair; you could feel his balls grazing the tip of your chin occasionally.

You can’t do anything like this. The mere laps of your tongue aren’t enough, and the weak suction you give in between gags and sputtering chokes is tickling at best. It’s starting to piss Leon off, to say the least. And the ridiculous face you’re making is turning him off. It’s not as pornstar-looking as you’d wish, and not every man likes the feel of warm snot and drool pooling all over his cock. But then again, maybe it’s just you that lacks sex appeal. He’d put a bag over your face if he could, but he won’t.

As fucked up as he is, he still has the ability to feel at least some sort of pity for you.

Frustrated, Leon bucks his hips forward, ignoring the nasty retch he elicits and groaning when the head of his cock rubs against the back of your throat. That motion alone gets heat pooling in his belly, so he does it again and again. Each time, he rips a throaty gag from you, the desperate clawing and tugging of your hands on his hips doing nothing to stall his movements.

“Fuck,” He huffs, staring through half-lidded eyes at the papers scattered on top his desk, the papers he was supposed to be done and over with hours ago. Some of which included late bills he had forgotten to pay. It’s not like he cares though. He spends his days moping around about the past and failed, lackluster romances with women interested in other women, it’s safe to say he has other things to worry about. Not the kid living under his roof, who has to shower with a bucket of cold water and a bar of soap. It’s not like he has the fucking money to spoil you or something, right?

He’s so busy getting off that he doesn’t notice he’s practically suffocating you with his meat, cramming it into your throat and clogging up your windpipe with each thrust he gives. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you’re thankful Leon is drunk enough that he’s not putting any thoughtful effort in fucking your face, because if he was, you think you’d be dead. The lack of oxygen starts to make your vision spot with black, and your head feels heavier than usual, a constant throb in your temple making your skull pang as if it were caving in. It’s all too much, far too much.

With a burst of adrenaline, you try to yank and push yourself back, but Leon doubles down and decides that now is when he wants to be cruel. Now is when he wants to tug at your hair and dig his blunt nails into your scalp, holding you in place. He moans, throws his head back and squeezes the back of yours, muffling your pleading whimpers and ragged gasps against the base of his length. You’re so full, so overwhelmed that it feels like you’re going to pass out. Every twitch and pulse of his cock is felt inside your maw, every vein and ridge is felt against your tongue, against your teeth, the inside of your cheeks, your palate. Everything.

Leon gives a particularly hard roll of his hips, and that’s when you feel your stomach churn, your breakfast shooting itself upwards and out your mouth in nasty, hot spews. Breakfast, not even dinner. There’s nothing in this fucking house but Jack Daniel’s and dry ingredients. All the takeout is for dad only.

Leon yelps, and for once he shoves you off his cock faster than you can blink. There’s a first for everything, you suppose.

He stands up straight, gags and covers his mouth with his arm, looking horrified. You’d be too if someone puked on your genitals. The smell isn’t exactly pretty. Is it possible for some of that to slip into his urethra? Is that how that works? You have no idea. But he’s not hard anymore, so any fluid on his dick drips onto the floor instead of back onto him.

“What the fuck!” Leon shouts, fighting back the urge to purge himself. He’s dealt with puke before. Dealt with it his whole life. It’s all he saw whenever he had to take care of his dad throughout nasty hangovers, his mom from overdosing, and himself at bootcamp. But this is different. It’s, dare he think, more traumatizing. It’s his dick, for christ’s sake. The most important part of him.

His eyes flicker around to look for something— anything, but he can’t find a rag or some tissue in the state he’s in, far too hysterical. He’d rather die than let this mess crust over his skin, he’s aware of that much.

Nearly tripping over your fallen form, he curses loudly as he rushes towards the bathroom, moving awkwardly and bumping into things along the way. He’s acting as if he’d just had something shoved up his ass, and the sight might’ve been comical if you weren’t too busy trying to settle your racing heart and catch your breath.

As much as you try, coughing doesn’t clear out the chunks of food and cum stuck somewhere in your throat. Chest heaving, you strain yourself, putting more force into the next cough, only to be humbled when it rips another gag out of you and jerks you forward.

Even with the fuzzy ringing in your ears, you can hear your dad yelling at you in the background, something about beating your ass and something else about how disgusting you were. Yeah, well, what’d he expect? You can’t brush your teeth without gagging, why would this be any easier? He doesn’t need any more ideas. The next thing you know he’s gonna be bothering you about throat training or something.

Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you hope this incident at least makes you lose some weight.

[daisynik7]

Rush

Chapter 9: Could've Been

Pairing: Eren Jaeger x f!reader

Rating: Explicit

cw: cunnilingus (face riding), vaginal sex (cowgirl), underaged drinking, angst

Summary: On the night of Alpha Tau’s fall formal, you finally do something that should have been done a long time ago.

Notes: Song is “Could’ve Been” by H.E.R. (ft. Bryson Tiller)

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In the days preceding Alpha Tau’s fall formal, Eren doesn’t hear a peep from her. The night he broke the news about taking Pieck as his date, she hung up on him without waiting for a goodbye. He should have predicted this type of reaction. Given how clingy she’s been in the past, he was hoping for a truce in the form of sex after a few days of letting it simmer. That’s how he lands back in her good graces time and time again. 

Even with this radio silence, it doesn’t faze him much. He’s confident that he’s still got the upper hand. Once the weekend is over and she realizes nothing will happen between him and Pieck, the anger will subside; she’ll come crawling back. Eager and needy for him like always. Does he feel guilty for pissing her off? Sure, maybe just a bit. It is what it is.

Saturday afternoon, Eren and Armin head to Alpha Tau to board the first bus. Dressed in sweats and bags in hand, the two roommates part ways outside the house. Armin goes towards Annie, Hitch, and Connie. Eren is dragged to where Reiner, Sandra, and Bertolt wait. Pieck and the other Delta Mu sister, who Eren recognizes is Mikasa’s friend Louise, arrive five minutes later. 

“Hi Eren,” Pieck says, a polite smile spread across her face.

“Hey. Thanks for coming with me.”

Louise stands next to Bertolt while Reiner hands out flasks to each of them, filled with what smells like vodka. He whispers, “Don’t worry, we have more bottles in our bags. We can refill at the hotel later.”

Sandra breaks away from their group to hug Hitch. Eren turns around to observe them, immediately making eye contact with Annie, who glares. He makes a mental note to steer clear of her the rest of the evening. 

He scans the rest of the crowd to look for Mikasa and Jean. He doesn’t spot them, assuming they’ll be on the next bus scheduled to leave in half an hour. Mike is also noticeably missing. 

Once boarded, Eren and Pieck sit beside each other in a comfortable silence for the first ten minutes of the ride. Attempting to initiate small talk, he reiterates, “Thank you again for coming with me to this.”

She giggles. “I’ll admit, I was a bit surprised to hear that you wanted to take me.”

“Why?” He sips from his flask, curious.

“I thought you’d take your girlfriend instead. You know, the one we played beer pong with at Halloween?” She says her name, causing Eren to sputter on his drink. 

Whipping his head around to ensure no one else can hear them, he whispers, “What did you say?”

There’s a sly grin on her face as she responds, “It was very obvious. You couldn’t stop staring at her.”

“Well, she’s not my girlfriend. I barely know her,” he explains, hastily.  

She raises a brow, studying him. “Who is she to you, then? It seems like there’s something going on between you two.” 

“She’s no one,” he lies. A twinge of guilt spasms in his chest.

Shrugging, she relents. “Sorry for assuming. I guess I’m wrong.” She wears her pleasant smile again, unconcerned that she rocked his cool disposition. “Forget I said anything.”

He wasn’t expecting her name to be brought up at all tonight. It seems like everywhere he goes, she lingers, whether in his own mind or in that of others. It hasn’t been fifteen minutes into this bus ride, and he’s already flustered. He drinks more alcohol to suppress his feelings until she’s buried all the way in the back of his thoughts.

At the hotel, each brother checks into their room. Reiner, Bertolt, and Eren opt for single beds. Before they head up the elevator to their assigned floor, Armin passes by and mentions, “If you guys want to pre-game with us, we’re all rooming together in Room 310!”

Reiner scoffs. “No thanks. We’re going to have our own pre-game in my room.”

Sandra smacks him on the arm. “I want to hang out with Hitch. Let’s just pre-game in their room. It’s bigger and there will be more people. It’ll be way more fun.”

Reiner grumbles, “Fine. We’ll see you there. We’ll bring some of our alcohol.”

“Great! We brought some too. See you all in a bit!”

Up on the third floor, Eren and Pieck enter Room 324 in silence, both unsure what to talk about. He especially feels awkward after their conversation earlier on the bus. Pieck occupies the bathroom to change while he gets ready in one corner of the room. He decides on an all-black outfit comprised of a turtleneck sweater underneath his suit jacket, black slacks, and black oxfords. Pieck exits the bathroom, wearing a maroon floral dress that flows down to her ankles.

“You look great,” he compliments, as she puts on her shoes. 

“Thank you!” she beams. “You too. You kinda look like a spy.”

He takes it as a compliment, focusing on his reflection in the mirror to style his hair in the classic man-bun. It’s only now that he recalls how Mike was the first to tie his hair up like this, way back at the beginning of the semester. You owe me if this gets you laid tonight, he remembers him saying. In a way, he does owe that idiot. He figures they’re even now, considering what happened on Halloween. 

Thinking about him with her bothers Eren once again. But he takes solace knowing they won’t be together here. Rumor has it that the senior goes to formals alone on account of him notoriously getting too drunk to pay attention to his date. Certain this is still true, he isn’t concerned about running into her today. The evening will pass by smoothly. All according to plan. 

He waits for Pieck to finish her makeup before heading down the hall to Room 310. Armin and Connie greet them, patting him on the back happily; Pieck goes over to the girls to introduce herself. Eren does his best to avoid the women, especially Annie, who continues to stare daggers at him every chance she gets. 

The rest join soon after, the girls sticking together, the boys huddled in their own circle. Bertolt sneaks glances at Annie, who completely ignores him. Reiner miraculously does not make any offensive comments, a true rarity for him. 

For the next hour, they drink while chatting, the girls casually dancing along to the music blasting through Connie’s speakers. Once it gets closer to 7:00 PM, they all pour whatever remaining liquor they have into their flasks to sneak downstairs. Eren is filling his with vodka when Annie intentionally bumps into him. 

“Annie,” he nods. 

“Jaeger,” she mutters, eyeing him with contempt. 

He doesn’t say anything, not interested in conversing with her, predicting it will lead to the mention of a certain someone. She doesn’t give him a choice, though, as she begins speaking. “Pieck is nice. I hope you don’t lead her on, too.”

In a low voice, he responds, “I’m not interested in Pieck like that. I just had to bring someone.”

She scoffs, barely keeping herself quiet. Luckily, the music is loud enough to drown out their conversation. “I take back what I said to you last week. I don’t respect you at all. At least Reiner knows he’s an asshole and owns it. You on the other hand, you’re a lost cause. I still have no idea why she would associate with someone like you.”

“Can you just drop it already, Annie?” he hisses. “Can’t I have one night without her being thrown in my face like this?”

She blinks, a tiny smirk forming on her lips. “You have no idea, do you?”

“No idea about what?”

“Oh, nothing. You’ll see soon enough.” She steps away to join her friends again, leaving Eren to speculate on her ominous parting. It’s just Annie trying to get under his skin, which she always successfully does. Frustrated, he takes the whole vodka bottle and throws it back, swallowing a few shots worth until his throat burns.

Downstairs, the doors to the ballroom are open. Levi stands at the entrance greeting everyone as they enter. “Oi, pledges. Welcome to your first formal. Seating chart is over there.” He points to an easel with a large sign propped on it. “Have fun.”

Eren scans the poster for his name, seeing it listed under Table 3. He’s tipsy enough not to care who else is sitting with them. At the table, Marco is already seated next to his friend, a girl from the women’s soccer team. Petra from Sigma Nu Kappa sits next to an empty chair with a jacket slung over the back, presumably Levi’s. There are two remaining spots currently unoccupied.

They take their seats, Pieck chatting up the rest of the table as Eren examines his surroundings, trying to locate his friends. Armin and Connie are at a table with Erwin and his guest, Hange. Reiner and Bertolt sit three tables away with another brother and his date, SNK senior Nanabe. He has no idea where Mikasa and Jean are, neither of them making their appearance yet. The second bus should have already arrived, so he expects they’ll be making their grand entrance soon. 

The venue continues to fill up, people situated in their seats, snacking on the appetizers. Most of the seniors are in line at the bar to purchase drinks, besides Levi, who is sober monitor. 

Eren takes swigs from his flask, letting the vodka continue to take its effects on his mind and body. He feels good. Relaxed. Tonight, there will be no drama, exactly the way he planned it. If he keeps consuming liquor, she’ll remain in the furthest corner of his mind. 

Still, the tiniest part of him misses her. But that’s what the alcohol is for. Forgetting. 

He sits facing away from the doorway, so when Petra’s face lights up and Levi smirks, saying, “Ah, finally,” Eren has to physically turn around to see who it is they are talking to.

As soon as he recognizes them, the heat from the liquor seems to rush straight out of his body, leaving him frozen in place.

~~~

The week leading up to Alpha Tau’s formal, you start scheming. The infuriating phone call with Eren was just the fuel you needed to get you fired up.

Every decent quality about him, from his undeniable sex appeal to the occasional loving gestures, has been forced into the most secluded crevices of your mind. Instead, you let all the crummy details about him surface. 

He took advantage of your naivety, knowing you were inexperienced and desperate for any form of affection. After he lured you in, he manipulated you into thinking you were special, that your many moonlight trysts with one another had to be kept a secret. As if it was so fucking romantic to keep you hidden away like his most prized possession when he was really trying to find more treasure elsewhere. 

Worst of all, he won’t let you go. He has to have you. String you along until it’s the right time for him to toss you aside once he grows tired of you. Until you become an overused and rejected toy withering away into the worst version of yourself, all while he replaces you with someone shinier and new. 

The only way to avoid that is to end it with him first. Officially and for good. 

No more empty promises, no more subtle blows to your confidence and self-worth. No more heartbreak. You won’t allow him to desecrate your fragile heart any longer. 

The easy route would be to have a private discussion about it. Maybe after the event, so you don’t ruin his fun weekend plans. But you don’t want it to be easy. You want it to be satisfying. Meaningful. You want it to hurt; not enough to mangle him, but just enough to leave a scar. If he ever becomes a better person later in life, he’ll always remember what he did to you, hopefully determined not to repeat the same mistakes. 

Your plan is set in motion. The first step is to get yourself at Alpha Tau’s formal. On Wednesday, Armin invites you and Mikasa over to the fraternity house to eat dinner. You sit with Mike at one of the tables. Mikasa, who wants you at formal for her own selfish reasons, and Armin sit beside you. You plan to bombard the senior to bring you. It’s a known fact that Mike goes stag to these dances, the reason being that he always gets too drunk to pay enough attention to whoever he’s taking. 

It doesn’t take much to convince him, though. You proposition him, explaining how much fun the two of you will have together, how you won’t mind if he gets blackout drunk. Even offering to take care of him if in the morning in case he has a hangover. 

“Okay. I’ll make an exception for you. By the way, breakfast burritos are my go-to hangover cure.”

You smile at him. “Noted.” 

“Do you think they’ll still let her go even though it’s past the deadline?” Armin asks.

“Erwin and Levi are my best friends. They’ll let me do anything, don’t worry. You will be my date this Saturday,” he emphasizes, winking. 

With step one complete, the next move is to make a grand entrance. 

Thursday afternoon, Mikasa, Annie, and Hitch accompany you to the mall to pick out your outfit. Your roommate suggests a red dress, similar to one that she’s planning to wear. Annie and Hitch, fully aware of your Eren situation, recommend a black, off-the-shoulder bodycon, coming down just past your knees. Complete with a side slit the runs up mid-thigh. A revenge dress. 

Out of the fitting room, Mikasa let’s out a low whistle. “Okay, forget I even suggested red because this is everything.”

“You look hot!” Hitch exclaims.

“It’s perfect,” Annie says. 

In it, you feel confident, beautiful, and most of all, powerful. You’re ready to pull the rug out from under him in one fell swoop.

Saturday arrives. At the hotel, you and Mike check into your single room. By the time you’re finished in the bathroom, you hear a soft knock on the door. Upon opening it, Mike, handsome and suave in his navy-blue suit, looks you up and down. “You look fucking amazing.”

You smile at him. “Thank you. So do you.” 

The two of you share this unspoken agreement to remain friends, maybe with a couple benefits here and there. However, your main focus tonight is to deal with Eren. 

“We better head to Erwin’s room now before I get any ideas.” Giving you one more look, he turns around to collect his bottle of Hennessy, waiting for you to slip into your heels. 

Down the hall, Erwin, Hange, Petra, and Levi share a room, where they host the pre-game. Mikasa and Jean eventually join, as well as some other seniors. The president and vice president leave first to set up downstairs, dragging their dates along with them. One by one, more people leave until it’s just you, Mike, Mikasa, and Jean. 

As it gets closer to dinnertime, you wobble towards the ballroom, tipsy and giggly from the cognac. Mike tries to hold you steady, but he’s no better off. You take a quick look at the seating chart, noting your assignment. Mikasa follows Jean to the other side of the room as you and Mike make your way to Table 3, finding it already mostly occupied. Petra and Levi, who you just saw, greet you with amused expressions on their faces.

It takes you a minute to register that Eren is seated at the same table, staring at you with wide eyes and a clenched jaw. This is not a part of your plan.

Regardless, this is going to be fun.

Avoiding his gaze, you and Mike occupy the empty seats between Pieck and Levi. You acknowledge your neighbor with a smile, who returns it. 

“I love your dress. You look so pretty!” you compliment her.

“Thank you. You look pretty, too.”

You continue to chat with Pieck, completely ignoring Eren, who is visibly uncomfortable beside her. 

You’re not exactly sure what the next step in your plan is yet. Once you made it to the dance, you figure you’d toy with him, flaunt your sexy black dress in his face until he’s drooling. And if you have the chance to catch him alone tonight, then you’d confront him, ending your relationship once and for all. But there’s no way to predict if that opportunity will ever come, considering how unlikely it is to get a moment alone together. Deciding to go with the flow, you try to relax, relishing the way Eren sneaks subtle glances at you. 

Dinner starts. Mike is already on his third drink from the bar, speech slurred, tie loosened. Definitely drunk. Levi attempts to slow him down by switching his cocktail with a glass of water, which works until Mike finally notices the difference. By the time the entrees are out, he gets up once more for another rum and coke.

For the first time all night, you hear Eren speak. “He’s fucking wasted.” There’s malice in his voice, clearly annoyed.

Levi shrugs. “He always does this at formals.”

Eren rolls his eyes. “It’s distracting.”

Petra chimes in. “Oh, he’s harmless.”

He stands up abruptly, rattling the table. “Whatever. I’m getting some punch.”

You wait a minute or two to make your move. “I’m going to get punch too. Anybody want anything?”

Pieck says, “I’d like some, please.”

“You got it. I’ll be right back.”

Eren is alone when you approach the refreshments table, opposite side of the room from where the bar is. He takes a sip from his punch before reaching into his pocket for a flask. He notices you as you pour two cups of punch for yourself and Pieck.

He looks around, making sure the coast is clear. “What are you doing here?” 

“Oh, so you’re actually speaking to me in public now?”

He ignores that, repeating, “What are you doing here?”

“I’m getting myself and your date punch, since you aren’t doing it yourself.”

Taking a deep breath, he mutters, “You know what I mean. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming here with Mike?”

“Why should I? You never told me that you were going to bring Pieck until after the fact. And as far as I know, we don’t have to tell each other anything. You’re not my boyfriend.”

He blinks at you, seemingly at a loss for words. You continue to glare at him, waiting for a response. 

After a couple of seconds, he murmurs, “This is different.”

“How?”

“I have no intentions of fucking Pieck. But Mike…I know he’s trying to fuck you.”

“Is that all I’m good for? Sex? Has it ever crossed your mind that Mike actually likes me?” Your composure is beginning to crack. 

“Come on, I see the way he looks at you. He’s a fucking skeeze,” he spits out.

“So what? At least he talks to me. Acknowledges my existence.”

He swallows hard, saying in a low voice, “That’s not fair.”

“Well, it’s the truth.”

You stare at one another, neither of you backing down. You’re tempted to tell him it’s over, that you want to end it with him. But it still doesn’t feel like the right time yet. Maybe you want it to hurt a little more.

As you turn around to walk back to the table, you hear him say, “You look beautiful, by the way. You are beautiful.”

Shit. You promised yourself you wouldn’t fall for his sweet talk. Every time he calls you that, your heart flutters. 

Without responding, you walk away from him and back to your seat, handing Pieck her punch. Mike is back in his chair, scarfing down his steak. A few minutes later, Eren sits down, clearing his throat nervously. Focused on the plate of food in front of you, his compliment replays in your head like lyrics to your favorite song. You grip your fork tightly, upset for wavering, trying to convince yourself that it doesn’t mean anything.

You eat your meal in peace, casually chatting with the others, except for Eren, who remains sullen and quiet. Dessert is served and there’s a couple of minutes for everyone to digest and socialize. Erwin makes a quick announcement, thanking all of the brothers for a great semester, despite last year’s scandal. He even gives a special shoutout to Sigma Nu Kappa for a successful partnership, helping them regain their well-received reputation. He signals to the DJ, who starts up the music again, formally opening up the dancefloor. 

“Let’s go,” Eren mumbles to Pieck. 

She has an excited expression on her face as she asks, “Are we going to dance?”

“No, we’re going to Reiner’s table. C’mon.”

Frowning, she follows him to where Reiner and Bertolt sit with their dates, looking bored and unenthused. 

Grinning at Mike, you yank his wrist, beckoning him to the dancefloor. He gives you a goofy smile and follows, joining your friends who already started dancing. More people surround you, creating a lively atmosphere as the music blares through the speakers. 

Mike dances behind you, sliding his hands around your waist to pull you in closer. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, the bold scent of liquor emanating from his warm breath. You feel the vibrations on your skin as he hums along to the song.

You place your hands over his, swinging your hips in rhythm to the music as he moves with you. You glance over to where Eren’s sits, sulking right alongside Reiner and Bertolt, their poor guests watching the rest of the crowd in envy. Once in a while, your eyes meet; you quickly look away to turn your attention back to Mike and the rest of your friends.

~~~

The last person Eren expects to see tonight is her. Yet, here she is, gorgeous and stunning, exactly like in his fantasies. She wears that dress as if it was tailored to her and only her. It’s perfection. 

Except for the fact that Mike is wrapped around her like a fucking snake. 

The universe has a funny way of messing with Eren. And rightfully so, considering what an asshole he’s been. Still, this form of punishment seems a little too cruel.

He watches from a distance as he slithers all over her, practically salivating on her, similar to a beast in the wild preparing for a feast. Eren’s skin crawls with rage and jealousy. 

“You’re not going to dance, are you?” he hears Sandra ask Reiner, who slouches lazily in his seat. 

“Nope.”

Rolling her eyes, she says, “Fine. I’m going to join Hitch and her friends then. You’re boring.”

“Whatever, have fun with those freaks,” he mumbles. 

Suddenly, Eren feels a tap on his shoulder, finding Pieck and Louise standing together with their purses in hand. “Louise and I are going back to campus. She’s not feeling well.”

He quickly turns around to look at Bertolt, who’s propped up on his elbow against the table, looking absolutely disinterested. 

Facing the girls again, he asks Pieck, “You have to go too?”

She nods. “Yeah, I don’t want her to go alone.”

“Are you coming back?”

“I don’t think so. Honestly, you’re not a fun person.”

Ouch. Her bluntness stings. Can he blame her, though? He’s not exactly a bundle of joy right now. 

“Anyways, our Uber is coming, so we’re just going to wait outside.” They walk towards the exit, leaving the three moody Alpha Tau brothers alone.

Eren leans back in his chair, defeated. He envisioned formal differently. In his imagination, he’s having fun with her as his date. He should be out there right now, not Mike. Dancing, smiling, and laughing around their friends. Happy and carefree together. Instead, he’s sitting in the corner, pretending to be too cool to have a good time.

It's his own fault. He refuses to admit it out loud, but he did let Reiner influence his decisions. Is he really that desperate to create a reputation for himself that won’t matter in a few years? Maybe even in a few months? At the rate he’s going, he’ll be known for being a dud anyways. It’s not like he was actively trying to be a fuck boy, considering he’s only ever wanted to be with her since they started. 

Besides, what’s so bad about dating a Sigma Nu Kappa? Reiner is the only one who seems to have an issue with it. On his big brother’s word alone, Eren has been convinced that dating an SNK girl is a disgrace. He didn’t even think to question it until now. There’s nothing wrong with them. Sure, Annie can be scary most of the time, but he recognizes how loyal she is to those she cares about. Mikasa has been his friend for years, and while she can be just as intense as he is, she loves her friends fiercely. 

And with her, he can’t think of any major flaws. To him, she’s beautiful, inside and out. 

He lays his head on the table, confused about his feelings, which are constantly in limbo. So much so that even he can’t keep up with himself. Again, he wonders why this is more difficult than it needs to be. Is he that afraid of falling in love?

From his peripheral, he notices her and Mike walk off the dancefloor. The senior heads straight to the bar while she exits the ballroom. Without thinking, Eren follows her from a distance. In the hotel lobby, he watches her make her way outside, probably to cool herself down after nearly an hour of dancing. 

He sinks into one of the couches, waiting for her to reappear. He wants a moment alone, just the two of them. Away from the crowd, uninterrupted by the music. Most of all, he wants to invite her to his room now that he has it all to himself. This is an opportunity he didn’t think he’d get at all today. He’ll regret it if he doesn’t take advantage of it. 

Once she’s back in the lobby, she heads down the hallway leading to the bathrooms. Giving him the opening he’s been wishing for all night.

~~~

After an hour of dancing, you feel yourself overheating from the constant movement and the heat radiating from the crowd. You and Mike decide to take a break. He leaves for the bar to take shots with Erwin and the other seniors. Sweat beading on your forehead, you make your way outside, in dire need for fresh air. Pieck and Louise are huddled, standing at the curb.

“Are you two leaving already?” you ask, waving your hand across your face like a fan, still burning up from all the dancing.

Pieck replies, “Yeah. Louise isn’t feeling well, so we’re going back.”

“Oh no! Are you alright? Do you need medicine or anything?”

Louise grins, answering, “Do you have a pill for someone dying of boredom? Because that’s what I need for Bertolt.”

Surprised and amused at her joke, you chuckle, “What do you mean?”

“He barely talks! Every time I try to start a conversation, he only gives me one-word answers. And he keeps ogling at Annie. That dude has it so bad for her, it’s sad.” 

“So you’re not really sick?”

“Of course not. I just needed an excuse to get us out of there.”

Laughing, you look over at Pieck. “How about you? Were you not having fun either?”

She shrugs, that same polite smile on her face. “Not really.”

“You should have joined us on the dancefloor!”

She laughs. “But how would I get out of spending the night in the same room as Eren? I figured it’s better to just bail completely.” She pauses, then says, “You know, he’s always staring at you.”

Surprised by her observation, you look at her, silently waiting for her to explain further. 

“It was just like at the Halloween party. Either he really hates you or he’s absolutely crazy about you. I’m guessing it’s the latter.”

You look down at the ground, flustered. “I don’t know about that.”

She leans in to nudge you gently in the arm. “It’s pretty obvious he’s got a thing for you. I even told him earlier today how I was surprised that he was taking me instead of you. His girlfriend.”

“I am not his girlfriend. I’m sure he told you that, too.”

“Yeah, he did. But he’s a dumb, immature boy. Of course he’s too proud to admit it.”

“I don’t think it’s pride that’s getting in his way. It’s his ego.” Fearing you revealed too much, you veer off. “Anyways, I’m sorry you two didn’t have a good time.”

“At least the food was good,” Louise comments. Her phone chimes. “Oh, our Uber is almost here. Tell Mikasa I say bye! I didn’t get a chance to tell her I’m leaving.”

“Will do. Have a safe ride home!” You bid them farewell then walk back into the lobby, the distinct thump of the bass resounding from the ballroom. Still feeling sticky with sweat, you head to the bathroom down an empty hallway to blot your face and touch up your makeup. 

As you exit, you notice Eren leaning against the wall, waiting for you. The two of you hold each other’s gaze for a few seconds before he suddenly takes you by the wrist and leads you farther into the hall, hidden behind a large plant. 

Back pressed to the wall, trapped by both his hands at either side of your head, you stare at him wide-eyed as he studies you with uneven breaths. You swallow hard, muttering his name.

One of his hands slide over your shoulder, fingertips tickling your skin gently until they’re at your wrist. He brings your hand up to his lips and scatters soft kisses in between your knuckles. 

“My date left, so I have the room all to myself. Room 324. Come by,” he whispers, kissing the inside of your wrist. “Please.” 

You feel your heart race and a familiar sensation fluttering below your belly as he continues to kiss you, green eyes peering at you longingly. 

“I’m with Mike,” you stutter, suddenly shy under his gaze.

“Well, if he’s too drunk to get it up, you know where to find me,” he teases, smiling into your skin. He drops your hand and cups your cheek, leaning in closer. “Can I kiss you?”

Every fiber of your being is screaming at you to refuse his advances. But one kiss wouldn’t hurt, right? You reach for the collar of his sweater and push your lips together. His tongue slips inside your mouth in an instant, eager for a taste.

You pull away from him. “Maybe I don’t want to see you later tonight.”

He flashes a cocky smirk. “Sure. Whatever you say.”

You’re tempted to kiss him once more. Instead, you push him off and walk away, heading back into the ballroom.

Mike is slouched onto Levi’s shoulder at your table. When Levi spots you, he yells out, “Oi, I think I’m going to bring him back to your room now. He’s pretty much passed out.”

You sit beside them, stroking Mike’s arm. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine. Just piss drunk. Feel free to hang out here for a little while longer.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll help you,” you offer. “Just in case.”

“Alright. Let’s go.”

The two of you sling Mike’s arms over your shoulders, carrying him as he drags his feet languidly. Once you’re back inside your room, you and Levi carefully place him on the bed, where he shifts around until he’s snuggled with a pillow, grunting occasionally. Levi snorts, “Idiot.”

He looks to you and says, “Thanks for helping me. Sorry he’s like this.”

“No worries. I’m not mad. I should have expected this.”

Levi leaves, heading back as you sit at the edge of the bed, watching Mike snore noisily. You fill a glass of water and set it on the dresser beside him in case he needs to hydrate. You poke him with your finger, which only causes him to mumble something incoherent. To be fair, you were warned about this.

You hear your phone vibrate in your purse. There’s one new message:

Eren: I’m in my room now

Staring at the text, you contemplate your next move. This is the opportunity you were hoping for. A moment alone with Eren, a chance to fulfill what you need to do. Despite all the anger and resentment you harbor for him, there’s still a part of you that desires to be with him one last time.   

Letting your feet lead you to Room 324, you decide to give in to one more moment of weakness.

~~~

Eren sits at the end of the bed, staring at the text message he just sent, eagerly waiting for a response. Tapping his foot nervously, he checks his phone every five seconds to make sure he isn’t missing anything.

Ten grueling minutes pass and a gentle knock on the door stirs his insides. He takes a deep breath and opens the door, thrilled to see her, still in her sensual black dress that’s been tantalizing him all fucking night.

He pulls her into the room, double locking the door when it shuts. Squishing her adorable cheeks between his palms, he leans forward and kisses her hungrily, tongue licking her lips and grazing her teeth. Desperate to taste every bit of her that he’s been deprived of all week long.

They lie on the bed, him on top of her, his hands roaming her body starting from her neck down to her legs. Flirting with the seductive slit exposing her thighs. The dress is skintight, hugging every inch of her figure flawlessly. His cock is already hard beneath his slacks, and they haven’t even undressed yet. 

“Take my clothes off,” she breathes out, rolling to her side to show him the zipper. He obeys, marveling at her bare back as he splits the dress open. He trails kisses along the skin he uncovers. She slides the dress off at her shoulders, where he gives her a nibble, resulting in that cute giggle he loves hearing so much. 

“Don’t giggle like that with anyone else. Only me,” he demands, kissing her sloppily as he shoves her dress lower to reveal her breasts. He hovers over her, sucking at one of her nipples until it’s plump and taut between his lips. 

“Fuck,” she moans, squirming beneath him as she wiggles out of her dress completely. In record time, Eren strips off all of his clothes, leaving just his briefs, barely concealing his erection. 

“I’ve missed you,” he whispers, mouth surrounding her other tit as his fingers drift to her arousal, rubbing at the wet spot of her black lace panties. “I’ve missed this pretty pussy, too.” 

He slips his middle finger pass the fabric, collecting the slick from her entrance to rub onto her clit. Upon contact, her hips buck, begging for more of his touch. With a chuckle, he releases her nipple from his mouth to suck on a spot on her neck, hard enough to leave a mark. He buries his nose in the divot of her collarbone, inhaling her intoxicating, familiar scent.

“Can I taste you?” he asks, dying to quench his thirst, willing to drown in her arousal. 

She nods, fingers hooking the hem of her underwear to remove them. He slides them off her, eyeing her naked body greedily.

“Sit on my face. I want it to drip into my mouth.” 

She curses under her breath, scooting over for him to lie down. He can’t help but smile as she straddles him, gripping the headboard and slowly lowering her hips so her pussy is flush against his lips. 

“Don’t hold back, baby. Ride my face like you ride my cock.” With his hands on her hips, he sucks on her clit until she’s whining in pleasure, slick trickling out of her slit and onto his chin. 

She rocks back and forth, obeying his instructions like the good girl she’s always been. 

“Come all over my face, baby. Get that pussy really wet for my cock.”

Moaning, she ruts against him faster, his lips surrounding her as he flicks her clit with his tongue rapidly. Cum coats his mouth and chin. She carefully lifts herself off, kneeling besides him, eyes glazed over from her orgasm. 

Sitting up to face her, he caresses her cheek, pulling her in for a passionate kiss. He takes his time, appreciating her supple lips and the subtle contrast of his rough thumb brushing over the delicate skin of her cheekbone. He reaches down his briefs, sliding them off and tossing them to the floor. He strokes his cock, craving to feel her lush walls squeeze tightly around him. 

~~~

Eren breaks away, slightly out of breath, whispering, “Can you ride me? I want to see your face.” 

The words slip out of his mouth, smooth like butter, enticing as ever. You nod, granting his request. Knowing this will be the last time. 

He lies back down, gazing at you. You straddle his lap, rubbing your wet folds against him before you position your entrance at the tip of his dick. Without using your hands, you slide onto him, feeling the vibrations from his gravely moans reverberate through his chest. 

You ride him slowly, thrusting your ass onto his hard cock. He squeezes your hips, directing you to move faster. You resist, determined to set your own pace. For once, you’re in control, not him.

“Fuck, you’re so good. You’re so fucking good to me,” he chants as you grind onto his lap. You start moaning along with him, succumbing to the pleasure, leaning onto his chest, and listening to his racing heartbeat. He keeps one hand at your waist; the other at the nape of your neck, pulling you in closer.  

“God, you’re beautiful. I’m so lucky. I’m so fucking lucky,” he whispers to you, lips grazing your ear. You tilt your head up to meet his gaze.

“Kiss me,” he says, staring at you with soft eyes, yearning for you. 

You lean in to brush your lips against his, making him think everything is fine. Sending him to Cloud 9 so that he can crash down onto the cold, hard dirt once you’re through with him.

After a few minutes of fucking, he mutters, “I’m sorry.” 

The apology catches you off guard. He’s pulling every weapon out of his arsenal, his velvety words attempting to latch on to you like a leech. 

“I’m sorry about tonight. I’ll make it up to you, okay? I promise.”

You don’t respond. With your eyes shut, you continue to ride him, letting your second orgasm build up. 

He caresses your cheek again, thumb brushing the soft skin right below your eye. “Baby, please look at me.”

His expression is sincere; there’s warmth in the way he looks at you, affection in the small smile he displays. 

“I’m yours, okay? I’m all yours.”

You’re close. It’s almost over. He’s tugging at your heartstrings like he never has before. But this time, it’s not enough. You’re not falling for it anymore.

“I promise you; everything is going to be okay,” he whispers, kissing your forehead, voice trembling. 

He makes promises just as easily as he breaks them. You’ve lost trust in him completely. His words mean nothing. They no longer have this everlasting hold on you.

Still silent except for the soft whines that escape from your lips, you ride him faster, wanting to milk him for all he’s worth. Take advantage of him the way he has with you. 

“Fuck,” he groans, planting his feet onto the bed and moving his hips in rhythm with your thrusts. “You’re going to make me come, sweetie. Is that what you want?”

You nod into his neck, his hands now holding you in place as he starts pounding into your pussy relentlessly. 

“Okay, baby. I’ll give it to you. I’m all yours. All yours,” he repeats, fucking you until you reach your orgasm, letting the pleasure sweep through you. 

Soon after, he groans a drawn out, “Fuck,” as you feel his hot load fill you up. 

He holds you in his arms, no rush to let you go. Nose pressed into the top of your head, inhaling and exhaling deeply. You savor the steady cadence of his heartbeat, the rise and fall of his chest, the warmth of his skin. Letting yourself imagine only for a short moment that this is what could’ve been if it was any different with you two. Nostalgic for a relationship that never really existed to begin with. One that was doomed from the start.

Maybe you’ll meet again in another lifetime. One where it’s genuine. Painless. Easy.  

Just not this one. 

His arms loosen as soon as you initiate movement. You remain silent as you pick your dress off the floor and carry it with you into the bathroom. The knob turned all the way to hot, you wait as the heat from the shower fills the space with a steamy cloud. Stepping in carefully, you let the water rinse any cum and sweat from your body, erasing all traces of Eren. 

When you’re finally cleansed, you dry yourself with a towel and slip into your black dress. Studying your reflection in the mirror, you take a few deep breaths, preparing for your final act. 

~~~

Eren cannot stop smiling.

He’s lying on the bed, palms behind his head, arms splayed out to the sides. Cock glistening with cum. Sheets messy, pillows disheveled all from their love making. He’s in fucking paradise. Whenever they have sex, he always feels on top of the world. Totally and utterly elated. Soaring on Cloud 9. 

The best part is that it’s not Mike who she’ll be spending the rest of the night with. It’s him. Eren is the winner. He gets the prize.

It doesn’t even bother him how he uprooted his buried feelings for her. He’ll blame it on the alcohol, which has since dissipated from his bloodstream nearly an hour ago. Or he’ll blame it on being caught up in their fuck fest. Either way, it seems she’s no longer mad at him. He’s got everything under control.

Several minutes pass before she comes out of the bathroom, wearing her black dress. He stretches his arms out, beckoning her back into bed. “Come here, baby. Let’s cuddle.”

She leans down to collect her heels and purse from the floor. “I’m leaving.”

He grins at her odd joke. “Baby, stop kidding around. Come here.”

“I’m leaving,” she repeats. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

The smile fades, his brain slowly processing the words coming out of her mouth. “What? What are you talking about?”

“Eren, I’m ending this. It’s over. You and me. We’re done.”

----------

End Notes: We’re almost near the end y’all! Thank you for sticking with it! Also, thanks so much for all the comments, messages, likes, and reblogs. I can’t express into words how grateful I am for every single interaction this fic gets. It gives me LIFE! So much love for ALL of you. 💕

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Tag List:

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[bomberqueen17]

who let me out

Most of the time I spend on Tumblr has been taken up in writing these Aubreyad book recaps so I haven't been talking about my own life but there's not a lot to say.

However!

I am making a voyage to England next week which is extremely exciting, and yes I'm going to see the museum exhibit about that archaeology dig I was so excited about. I have been so stressed lately that I have barely thought about this and in fact last night I finally was like "do i need like. socks n underwear for this trip. idek." and i haven't even looked at weather reports so I don't know what clothes I need. But I did live in the UK for a while once so I'm fairly confident that my good raincoat and new waterproof boots will be a good start towards an autumn wardrobe.

So I hope to talk about that more, coming up.

Meanwhile, rambling about personal life stuff

The last stint at the farm was so fucking stressful. I had to work the market sometimes, which means a full day of work on Saturday. We had so much work to get through, and several people who help us weren't available, so we had to do it all ourselves, and that meant some ten-hour days, meant some exhausting slogs. At the end I was like "do you know what I'm not going to do while I'm on vacation?" "no, what" "ever touch raw chicken." I singlehandedly had to package like 1000 pounds of raw chicken in two days, after having packaged 200 whole chickens the day before. I was just so tired of the way raw cold chicken feels in my hands. Ugh ugh ugh.

I got so stressed I just wasn't sleeping, which sucked. Oh, I'd get into bed, and I'd fall asleep at my normal time-- usually around 10pm-- and then I'd wake up at 2am and that was it, I was up for the day. I tried various things-- went to bed at 9, woke up at 1-- lay there pretending to sleep-- got up and wrote-- got up and walked around-- one night I watched the entirety of the Master & Commander movie from 2003 on YouTube. Why not! I did remember some of it from 20 years ago, how funny.

(My dad liked that movie. His favorite thing to do during movies was to quibble about historical inaccuracies. But this movie had so much fanservice for reenactors in it that he was quietly delighted. His quibble was that the violin and cello duets were too good, they should've recorded amateurs. He had a point.)

Anyway. I was researching various methods of helping one sleep-- the only one at my disposal was weed gummies and I spent one very miserable night just lying there high and bored and not sleeping and wasn't totally sober when morning came and that fucking sucked. I commute on foot or I never would have risked it, but being very slightly still high and exhausted and trying to do repetitive physical work was really, really dispiriting.

but we got everything done. In the end. And I left. And once I got home I went to sleep and I have not had really any appreciable trouble sleeping since. I can even nap, sometimes!

Heck.

One of the things I'd meant to take care of while I was at the farm was that of course on my birthday, my fucking driver's license expired. On the one hand, thank you DMV, it used to be that everyone's license expired on the same day, so you'd have to go wait in massive lines to get it dealt with. Now it's... not evenly distributed exactly, because people's birthdays are a random distribution, but it's a perfectly logical and reasonable way to organize expiration dates. But it meant that in the midst of this exhausting miserable stint of work when I didn't have time to do anything really fun for my birthday (don't cry for me, my mom made me a cake and my BIL bought me ice cream treats) I also was consumed with angst about needing to renew my license. i was so sure they'd yell at me because I hadn't renewed before it expired-- but they wanted me to do an eye test, and I could not, could not coordinate that, I'm overdue for an optometrist appointment by several years and I just could not fucking make it happen.

So I went to the DMV yesterday and was like "i both want to renew this license and upgrade it to the enhanced version since that will be required for planes soon" and they were like "we need both your passport and your social security card and two proofs of residency." and i was like you need the social security card and proof of residency to get the passport. and they were like yeah but we need all four things too. so I went back home with the form and found the various necessary proofs, but then I was able to make an appointment to go back. Great!

(They say, "make an appointment online!" but if you look up the DMV website there's nowhere to do it, and if you go to the website of that branch of the DMV there's nowhere to do it. Want to know why? Because it's not through the DMV it is through the county clerk's office. Now U Know: Go to the county clerk's office and navigate to their section on the DMV. It's separate! Who fuckin knew! Now you do! [In my case this was erie.gov because that is my county, but it may vary for you and if you are not in new york state i have no advice for you.]

All having an appointment means is that you are in a separate queue to be seen, which is likely faster than the general pool but may not be. Still, I thought it was a good idea.

And then it was early for my appointment and I was getting my shit together and I had my social security card and an old W-2 with my address and social security number and my old license with my address on it and for some reason I thought I could use my checkbook but that's not what they mean by a cancelled check but whatever. I had just a random pile of shit. And

where was my passport

where is my passport?

i'd had it in my pocket but i was sure i'd removed it from the pocket and put it into my purse. but it wasn't in my purse. "did you see it inside the house," asks dude patiently, who also is prone to losing shit and who knows me very well. "I don't know," I have to answer. "I remember putting it in my purse and it isn't there." I search the place I put my purse a thousand times, I go through the desk where I was sitting to collect the other proofs but i knew, I knew I had not brought it in there. Time is slipping away, I will miss my appointment. God time is slipping away and I can't find the thing. I ransack the house. I finally run out to the car, did I leave it on the seat in the car? It is not in the car.

In desperation, as it is fully time to leave the house and I will be late if I don't, I gather up all my other papers and go out to the car. "I will just go," I say, "and ask them, did they find it, because that is the last place I am absolutely sure I had it." Because the woman had looked at it to see if I had my social security card between the pages. And she'd handed it back to me. But my memory is such that the rest of what I did is not certain; I remember taking it, I remember putting it into my pocket, but this might be a story I am telling myself. This is the way in which I am a very good liar, because I do not remember things very well, and my well-honed abilities as a storyteller mean I am very, very good at instantly constructing what it would make the most sense to have done, and telling that story even to myself. But. here's the horrible truth: i don't know if it really happened that way. Many things I have witnessed, important things, I remember the story of but I'm not entirely certain they happened that way. Any story I tell may be fictionalized, and I usually dont' know it.

So anyway.

Got out to my car and there on the ground in the road (I am parked in the street) there is my passport lying next to the driver's side door of the car. When I had checked the car earlier, I had only gone to the near side, the passenger side, and looked in the window. It had never occurred to me that my memory of putting it into my purse might have been me just setting it on my purse and it not going in, which is clearly one hundred percent what happened.

So that was. A fucking wild ride, and I did not cry but only because I was too overwhelmed. I made it to the appointment and I could not hear the very nice clerk very well so I kept nodding at her in blank incomprehension and then not doing what she'd asked me to do. But this is the thing-- if you think of the most brutally competent people on the entire face of the planet Earth you might be tempted to imagine like, IDK, Marines or something, but that would be wrong, it is the clerks at the DMV. They will Get It Done, whatever the fuck it is, and they will NOT put up with your shit, but they will also not be mean to you. They will not usually waste time in smiles or gratuitous displays of humanity, but they are never cruel, they are implacable and pitiless but they are fair and they will help you and they will not smile about it but they will tell you which option to tick off on the form so that you don't have to pay a bunch of extra money, and they will be understatedly kind if you are frightened, and they will calmly and impassively repeat their instructions until they penetrate your uncomprehending skull, and you will get what you need to get because this is deadly serious and they are the kind of bureaucrat that actually make the world go round. It is not sunshine and rainbows but it will absolutely get done even if it takes months and years.

Anyway there's some kind of divinity in low-level bureaucrats who actually have to talk to frightened people, I tell you what.

The only time my clerk smiled at me was when I didn't hear her and she had to repeat that the screen was asking me if I wanted to register to vote, which is an automatic part of all their transactions. "Oh, no," I said, "I'm already registered," and she said "then press no," and I said "I do really appreciate the reminder though," and she smiled at that.

(They also ask you to enroll as an organ donor. NYS is an opt-in state, and many people just don't opt in; opt-out states have much higher enrollment for obvious reasons. Please opt in unless your religion or beliefs proscribe it! There are never enough organs and your grieving family will almost never remember to opt you in at the moment of extremity. You could save so many lives, and improve so many others. This PSA brought to you by someone who spent the pandemic lockdown in the home of a member of the local hospital's liver transplant team, who was so busy because all the New York hospitals had shut down their transplant facilities in order to turn the ventilators over to Covid patients, so everyone in New York who was getting a liver was getting it in Rochester. From my guy's team. So it was a stressful time. But I am successully re-enrolled as an organ donor. I am quite sure I already was one but the only two options were Yes or No so I checked Yes.)

Anyway I have so much to do and am so burned-out that I'm repeatedly getting stuck staring at things in odd rooms, so. We'll see how this goes. I have five days left to get ready for this trip wish me luck.

[chaosfairy18]

A little Javid thing I wrote at 1am mostly for @thatoneandlonelyemo2005

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jack saw David sitting at his desk by the half-closed blinds, over some book, probably for his English Lit exam and said goodbye as he'd have to go to work, Dave just barely saying goodbye. Jack knew how he was when he got into his study zone, he didn't feel bad about it, he knew they could cuddle later, when he got back home.

Five hours later, about 9 p.m., Jack turned the keys in their door again, breathing in the comforting smells after his work. It wasn't too long but it was exhausting nontheless, every time. He couldn't find David on the couch or in their bed, so he - more to to sure - checked if he was still at his desk. And there he was, still hunched over in the exact same position as five hours ago, sitting so still he could believe he was dead. Jack would be surprised if he had stopped learning at all, at least not for anything longer than a bathroom break or to get more coffee. Though he wasn't even sure if that would have gotten David up.

Not disturbing him yet, he went to the kitchen to prepare some things, first setting some water to boil, then cutting up an apple into little slices, debating if he should try to make them look cute like he'd seen on some instagram post but deciding against it.

He put the hot water in a teapot with Dave's favourite flavour and sat both down onto their side table in front of the couch, getting the last important thing he needed.

"Dave. You're done with learnin' tonight.", he whispered, hugging David from behind, who startled, as if woken up from a trance.

"Jack... I didn't hear you come home. What time is it?"

"After nine. That's long enough for you."

"No, I have to-" Jack turned the chair and pulled David up by his arms.

"No, it's enough. You don't gotta do it all today, I also need ya Dave." He kissed the other's curly hair and tried to bribe him into leaving his books with his renowned charm. "Come on." He could see David break and he followed him out of his study area and to the couch without more complaint.

Sitting David down on their couch, Jack quickly got a blanket and draped it over both of their shoulders so David was trapped, forced to take a break and get his mind out of wherever it was currently. He held an apple slice to his boyfriend's lips and didn't stop until he ate it, rolling his eyes.

"I really have to read that, Jackie."

"I know. But it can wait till tomorrow. I really gotta cuddle and watch a movie with you." Now offering David the tea, he ran up their TV and searched for Star Trek: Into Darkness, one of David's favourite movies, so he knew he couldn't refuse to watch it, no matter how determined he was to study.

David frowned, sipping on his tea, but he did sink deeper into the couch. "You're foul, Kelly."

"Just doin' what's best for my partner."

Setting down the tea, David laid his head in Jack's lap, still pouting but having his eyes glued to the screen as Spock was lowered into a volcano. "At least pet my hair then."

"Anythin' for you.", he chuckled, running his fingers slowly through David's hair and over his temples, trying to relieve the pressure he knew had to have built up under them. He'd really do anything for David, no matter when or where, but especially when he could help him get out of his head for a bit, just be here, watch a movie and relax, melting under his touches and slowly getting sleepier.

Jack kissed his forehead and got comfortable on the couch too. The movie was another hour and a half at least, they had time to fall asleep.

And as he'd said, David really needed the break, and what could be better than munching slowly on apple slices while drifting away, watching your favourite movie and having your boyfriend run his fingers through your hair softly.

[futureslaps]

The Captive - Chapter 8

Chapter 7 Chapter 9

Whew, finally done! Get ready for some feels!

Enjoy💙

Spider tried to sleep, but every time he closed his eyes, he could only hear Kiri’s broken voice as he walked, no, ran away from her.

He used to be able to talk to Kiri about anything.

Out of all the Sullys, he had always been closest to Kiri. Maybe it was the fact that they were both orphans, the fact that were both different from everyone else, or even their shared sky-person origin, but Spider always felt like he had a special connection to her.

She had been the only one who was always happy to see Spider. She had always been the one to play with him when they were kids and had always been the one to explore the jungle with him as adults. As Neteyam and Lo’ak had grown older, they’d slowly grown apart from Spider. But he and Kiri had been as close as ever. She’d always been there for him when he was hurting.

But when Spider saw the hurt in her own eyes today, he’d run away.  

He couldn’t bear to see her upset because of him. He knew it was because she cared about him, and that made it hurt even more. He didn’t deserve her concern after everything he’d done. He should have told her the truth, but he hadn’t.

So now, he was a traitor, and a coward.

He tried again to close his eyes and go to sleep, but his head felt like it was about to burst. His brain was a whirlwind of emotions.

It was no use.

He slowly got up from his sleeping nook, already sore from the uncomfortable position. It was still pretty early in the night, so he decided to take a walk. There was no point in lying there wide awake.

He quietly made his way down to one of the beaches, careful not to wake anyone. It was quiet, peaceful. Spider took a moment to breath in the air, before continuing.

He tried to sort the feelings in his head, but whenever he thought about them, they threatened to overwhelm him. Jake, Kiri, Quaritch, it was all just too much. Spider almost wished he could disappear. That a wave would come in and sweep him out to sea. Away from everything.

As he stepped across the dark sand, he tried to think of something he could do to clear his mind. Talking to any of the Sullys was out of the question. The Metkayina already didn’t trust him. His mind drifted back to the same person. As always there was only…

His eyes scanned along the coast until he spotted Quaritch’s hut.

After the past day, his last meeting with Quaritch felt like ages ago. He desperately wanted to see him again. Quaritch was the only person left he didn’t have to lie to. The only person Spider could tell anything. And in less than ten days he would be gone forever.

Spider left the sand and slowly crept closer to the hut. He could see the structure much clearer now that it wasn’t pouring rain. The guards were sitting on a nearby rock. They were still vigilant, but at this hour of the night, after a long day on duty, they were visibly exhausted. Spider weighed his chances. It was risky. Far riskier than before. He had to actually be stealthy this time. And if the guards heard him…

9 days.

Spider considered it for a moment longer. It would be better to wait for another storm. But who knew if there would even be another storm?

9 days

To hell with it.

He crept up to the hut, using the stalking technique he’d learned with the Omatikaya. He crept along the side, finding the same gap as before. This time, he slid under it without hesitation.

Compared to the night before, it was eerily quiet in the hut. The thick canvas muffled even the sound of the ocean to a barely audible rumble. It was lighter, too. This time, Spider had no issue finding Quaritch. He was sleeping, but as Spider approached, his eyes shot open.

(..)

It took a moment for Quaritch’s eyes to adjust, but when they did, they widened almost immediately.

Spider was back.

“Spider? The hell are you doing here? Are you crazy?” His voice was a whisper, but his tone was still stern.

“I just…I needed to see you again.” Spider whispered back.

Quaritch’s expression softened slightly. The kid sounded like he was about to cry, and he looked like a mess too. But he still shouldn’t be here.

“You can’t keep coming here, kid. Especially not when the weather is clear. I can’t help you if you get caught.”

“I know.” Spider replied, lowering his voice farther. “But I had to talk to you. Please.”

Quaritch sighed. The kid was already here, and they were already talking. He supposed there was no point in trying to convince him to leave now. It’s not like he could anyway…

He moved closer to the bars so they could keep their voices as low as possible.

“What’s going on, kid?”

Spider took a breath, then spoke.

“I’m…struggling. I thought things would start getting better here, but every day I just feel worse. I just feel so…bad all the time. I feel guilty about everything.”

Quaritch listened closely. Helping people with their emotions had never been his strength. One of the reasons he joined the marines was to avoid a job where he had to worry about things like emotions. But he had to try for Spider.

“You’re the only person I can talk to. I can’t tell anyone else how I feel. I can’t tell anyone about…this.”

“This?” Quaritch asked.

“About you, dad.” Spider croaked. “I can’t tell anyone that I care about you. I can’t tell anyone that you were nice” His voice cracked on the last word.

Quaritch’s heart jumped when he heard Spider call him “dad”, but he knew it wasn’t the time to comment on that.

“They’ll think I’m a traitor, that the only reason I’m alive is because I helped you.” Spider hung his head. “I am a traitor, I…”

At this, Quaritch interrupted the boy.

“Spider, look at me.”

Spider looked up. His eyes were now moist with tears.

“Everything you did, you did to survive. I made you show take us to the banshees, I made you teach us Na’vi, I made you come with us on the raids. You knew you’d be taken back to Bridgehead if you didn’t.”

Quaritch put a hand on Spider’s shoulder.

“Don’t you blame yourself for any of that. It’s my fault, you shouldn’t take any of the heat for it.”

But Spider shook his head.

“No, it’s still on me. I should have done more. I could have taught you Na’vi wrong. I could have tried to run; there were times I could have gotten away. I could have lied about how you tame a banshee. But I didn’t.” Spider choked out.

Before Quaritch could reply, he continued.

“I wanted to teach you the ways of the Na’vi. I wanted to make you proud of me. I thought that, maybe if…” Spider couldn’t finish the sentence.

“I chose to do these things, on my own. Just like I chose to visit you. My choices hurt the Sullys. They hurt the people I care about. When you’re gone, I’ll have nobody left…”

Quaritch was tempted to say something callous about the Sullys, but he stopped himself. Now wasn’t the time. He tried as hard as he could to put his choice thoughts about Jake Sully and his family aside for the time. He had to think of something to comfort Spider.

“Look, kid. They still came to rescue you. These people, your… family, they obviously care about you…”

“Neytiri held a knife to my throat.” Spider interrupted. “They’re not my family. And they don’t even know what I’ve done yet. They’ll hate me like they hate you when they do.”

Quaritch closed his eyes, completely lost for words. Things were truly FUBAR for him and Spider. It hurt him in ways he didn’t even think were possible to see how much his son was hurting. He’d hoped that he’d at least be okay since he was back with the Sullys, but things were clearly going the opposite way.

“Stay strong Spider, I’m sure something will come through.” It was a weak attempt at comfort, but it was all he could think to say.

For a while, they just knelt in the dark, Quaritch’s hand still on Spider’s shoulder as he occasionally sniffed.

“Can I stay here?” Spider broke the silence.

“What?”

“I can’t sleep.” Spider spoke softly. “Can I stay here, just for a little bit?”

Quaritch forced a small smile.

“I’m not the one you should be asking for permission, kid.”

“I’ll leave before sunrise.” Spider said quickly. “Nobody will know. I just want to be next to you.”

Quaritch frowned. He knew it was a bad idea, but Spider looked so fragile he thought the kid might literally shatter if he refused.

“You really don’t have a better place to sleep?” Quaritch asked. It was rhetorical, so his heart sank a little when Spider shook his head.

What the hell?

He decided not to press him on it.  

“Alright, kid, I’ll wake you.” Quaritch said comfortingly. One of the small benefits of his arrangement was that he’d come to know the telltale sounds of the nature around him like the back of his hand. He knew exactly which noises signified sunrise.

Spider curled up on the ground in front of the bars, holding onto Quaritch’s hand with his own. Quaritch tried to adjust his own position as Spider’s breath began to slow. He settled on lying flat on his back, with his hand outstretched toward Spider. It wasn’t the best position, but there was no chance he was letting go of Spider now.

(..)

It was very late by the time Kiri was sure everyone in the Marui was asleep. Her parents had talked late into the night, but she’d forced herself to stay awake. She had to do this. She grabbed a handful of blankets and crept out into the night.

There was no way her mom would approve of what she was doing, but she wasn’t going to let things continue. The nights in the Metkayina village could be surprisingly chilly, and she refused to let Spider continue to sleep in the cold.

As she approached the junction of two roots where she knew Spider slept, she paused. He wasn’t there. She had seen him lying there several times, even earlier this night as she walked to her Marui, so she was sure it was the right place. But Spider was nowhere to be found.

Where was Spider so late in the night?

She briefly considered the question with curiosity, but her mind came up blank. She settled on asking him tomorrow. She’d hand him the blankets herself the first time she saw him.

 9 days left until the trial. Lots of hurt and comfort still on the way...

Sorry for the longer wait than usual, this took me a good while to write. I had big things planned and had several false starts before I finally got it how I wanted. I hope the wait was worth it, this Quaritch-Spider meeting might be one of my favorite things I’ve written! 💙

P.S: Speaking of false starts, I have a big word doc of things I cut/replaced from the story so far. In the spirit of ATWOW’s digital release, would anyone want to see some deleted scenes/bonus content for this fic once it’s over?

Taglist: @buzzing-honeybee @yesthisismycurrenthyperfixation

[pxnsneverland]

Beauty and the Boss | austin!elvis x oc (part 2)

plot summary: Laura Jean Walker is the daughter to Louisiana's most powerful mafia boss, but to her, he's just her jail warden. When she sneaks out to the Louisiana Hayride with her friend she sees Elvis Presley perform and instantly knows something is special about this boy. Especially when he saves her from being assaulted by a townie. She thinks she's on cloud 9 until she gets kidnapped in the middle of the night by the Memphis Mafia led by Elvis himself. Will Laura Jean try to free herself or will something hold her back from finding her way home?

Part 1

pairings: austin!elvis x oc

word count: 2056

warnings/notes: violence, blood

 Chapter 2

 As I got home from the Hayride, Daddy shouted at me and reprimanded me. He threatened to restrain me and then told me I'd be grounded for a month. We were both aware that I had no intention of remaining at the house for a month. It was almost as though Daddy was enjoying our cat and mouse game. I was winning any way. After he was done and I had gone back to my room, I couldn't stop picturing Elvis. His movement on stage and the sound of his voice. He pronounced my name as if he'd never heard anything more beautiful. See you soon, he had said instead of 'goodbye'. Part of me genuinely hoped I would. But another part of me knew better and knew it was nearly impossible. The Louisiana Hayride, like him, would move on.

              The Louisiana Hayride had been two weeks ago. I couldn't get Elvis out of my head, but I was getting a little less unhappy about it every day. Maybe it was just a meeting made in heaven and nothing more. I suppose I should be grateful I met him at all, even if I never saw him again. I'd marry the son of one of Daddy's employees one day and forget about Elvis Presley. I breathed deeply and turned off the lights in my bedroom, allowing only moonlight to shine through the wide window. I crawled into bed, holding my pillow for the security I felt I needed. I allowed my train of thought to take me to sleep.

              I awoke with the sensation that something was covering my face. I thought it was the duvet covering me for a split second. Then I felt a strong arm wrap around my waist and drag me out of bed. A rag was wrapped around my face. It muffled my scream as I began to resist the stranger tugging me. It didn't do much good as he proceeded to drag me. I could hear the sounds of Louisiana's night creatures signaling that my window was open. He dragged me out the window and into the nearby bushes. As I kicked against the grass, my bare feet kicked up dirt. No one would say I didn't fight for my life if I died like this. I struggled until my body began to ache, and my mind became cloudy. Whatever was on the cloth was starting to have an effect on me. Even though my power was fading, I pounded against his arm and kicked my feet till I passed out.

              I had no idea how long I had been sleeping, but as I awoke and my vision became clearer, I realized I was in the backseat of a car. We were travelling through a rural area with nothing familiar in sight. Something was digging through my wrists. My hands were bound behind my back and I struggled to move them. I let out a groan, and someone in the passenger seat returned my gaze.

              “Well, look who’s woken up,” he exclaimed, laughing.

              “I’m surprised she did,” said the driver, “Dammit, Bones, how much of that stuff did you put on that rag? She’s been out for hours.”

              “I don’t know, Jerry. I guess not enough to kill her.” He chuckled again punching the driver on the arm playfully.

              I remained silent. I realized these had to be mafia members working for someone else. I had been trained for this from a tender age, though I was unaware of it. “In a car with strangers, don’t say nothin’,” Daddy had said, “You don’t know how violent they are or what their orders are. Keep your mouth shut until they take you to their boss. Only then do you try to find out all you can without makin’ it obvious.” I didn't even try to move or break free since I couldn't. I'd comply and be submissive until I figured out what was going on. The car approached a big gate, which swung open for it. We went up this curving road till we came to a large green and white house with several automobiles parked in front of it. The house was gorgeous on the outside and had the impression of one of those old southern mansions you saw in photographs. They drove up to the front walkway and turned off the car. Jerry and Bones both got out of the automobile. Bones snatched my arm and yanked me from the backseat.

              “Come on, little missy,” he whispered, “Someone wants to see you.”

              He retained his grip on my arm, but I followed them all the way into the home. The interior was much more impressive than the exterior. Luxurious furniture, ample space, and a red velvet carpeted stairway. It appeared to be home, but I had to remind myself that I was in a foreign nation with strange people. I was pushed along a narrow corridor till we came to a massive wooden double door. Jerry knocked before opening the door. Bones forced me inside and pushed me to the ground, burying my face in the carpet. As my teeth cut my lip apart, I felt blood on my tongue. I wanted to lift my leg and kick him in the balls, but I didn't want to make things worse for myself. So I tightened my teeth and remained silent.

              “Walker’s daughter, EP,” Jerry said with his hands in his pockets, “Just like you asked.”

              “Thank you for your fast work.” The voice sounded familiar, as if I had heard it somewhere before. “Walker’s not gonna know what hit ‘im. Might teach him a nice lesson.” I noticed loafers walk around the desk. The bottoms of red pants were visible above them. I couldn't elevate my head before the boss bent down and I didn't have my hands to push me up. “I am truly sorry you had be dragged into your daddy’s business, darlin’. But some people just don’t learn the easy way.” He lifted my head and slipped a finger under my chin. When I saw his face, it seemed like my heart stopped. Except for the full long sleeve black shirt, he appeared exactly the same as that night. My body went numb, and my single-track thought pattern of survival vanished. “E-Elvis…?”

              Elvis' gaze was as wide as mine. He was astonished to see my face. He pushed me up onto my knees without taking his gaze away from me. He maintained his hands on my forearms and it reminded me when he asked if I was okay when that idiotic redneck boy ran away. “Laura Jean…it can’t be. You’re Walker’s daughter?” I could only nod, unable to speak. Elvis was a mafia boss? Did this mean that I was in Memphis? Elvis released me, rose to his feet and nervously rubbed his slicked back hair. He paced a short distance, mumbling to himself as if someone had suddenly thrown a wrench in his plans. With his hands on his hips, he looked at Jerry and Bones. “What are you standin’ around for?” he asked, waving his arm, “Untie her and get her to her feet, now!”

              Both men looked perplexed, but they untied me and Jerry helped me to my feet. I had the sensation that the room was whirling and that the entire universe had been turned upside down. Elvis paused his pacing and returned his gaze to mine. He closed the distance between us by stretching out a hand and squeezing my chin between his fingers. I didn't even bat an eye. I wasn't even afraid. I simply couldn't move. His thumb brushed up against my freshly cut lower lip. His features twisted into a grimace as I gasped in pain. “Who did it?”

              There was the same fire I saw when Elvis saw that boy grab me. I licked my lips, attempting to restore moisture to my mouth. “I-I…” I was unable to respond to his question. I didn't want Elvis to do anything bad because of what they had done to me. I was aware of how Daddy disciplined people.

              Elvis softly let go of my chin and moved past me to where Jerry and Bones were waiting. Both males were almost shivering with anxiety as they stood there. Elvis exchanged a brief glance between them before launching a punch square into Bones' face. He lurched back, regaining his footing. He was hunkered over, his jaw clenched. I could see blood dripping from his mouth at a cut on his upper lip. Elvis stretched out his hand by shaking it and flexing it. “I told you to bring her to me. Not to hurt her! Now get out! Both of ya! Out!”

              They hurried out the door, shutting it behind them. Elvis stood there, allowing his breathing to slow and his muscles to relax once again. I found my voice again as he returned my gaze. “Did you know?”

              He turned to face me, bewildered. “Did I know what?”

              My hands were balled into fists at my sides. “Did you know that night you saw me in the front row? Did you know who I was the whole time?”

              Elvis shook his head and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “No, I had no clue who you were. I just thought you were a normal girl hangin’ around with her friend.”

              “But you told them to kidnap me.”

              “I told them to kidnap Walker’s daughter. I had no idea that was you.” He became suspicious all of a sudden. “Did you know who I was?”

              How could he have thought that? The last thing I'd do is obey Daddy's bidding. “Of course not! You think I asked that redneck to assault me?”

              “It would be a pretty good plan.”

              “How dare you! I didn’t know nothing about who you were or what you were about! I just thought you were a performer!”

              Elvis smirked slyly. “I am.”

              “I could care less about whatever Daddy has goin’ on in his business. In fact, it’s always the farthest thing from my mind. And you wanna drag me into it like I’m a priced pig being auctioned at a fair! You ignorant bastard!” I pushed against his chest so mad I could scream all over again. I'd spent my entire life trying to avoid my father and all of his affairs, and now I was right in the center of it, and it was all Elvis' fault.

              I expected him to be angry at me for yelling and pushing him as I cooled down. I was expecting him to attack me, and what could I do to defend myself? But he merely chuckled, his eyes shining with admiration. “Such a dirty mouth on such an innocent face.”

              “I told you before. I’ve dealt with people much scarier than you.”

              “Like your daddy?” He got closer to me. I backed up till my back met the desk in the center of the room. He leaned in close enough to feel his breath on my skin then he placed his hands on the desk on either side of me. “Believe me, little girl. Your daddy is scared of me.”

              I gulped hard and reminded myself not to be afraid. But more than his dripping gorgeous looks, this young man who towered over me exuded intimidation. “Why did you wanna kidnap Walker’s daughter?”

              The side of his lips turned upward. “You see, I just moved into this house. I hired your daddy and his friends to help build on the property. House and things for my family, my friends. I paid him more than he deserved…and he still had the nerve to steal money from me. A lot of money. Money I earned to take care of those precious to me.” His gaze shifted to my lips. “I decided if he was going to try and take somethin’ precious away from me. I would do the same to him.”

              My breathing became more rapid, but I was no longer terrified. “You should have picked somethin’ better. He doesn’t care about me.”

              Elvis placed his hand on my cheek, gently stroking it. He returned my gaze through his long dark lashes. I'd never seen such an intense, determined gaze before. “Oh, darlin’…nobody could possibly not care about you.”

Stay tuned for Part 3! Click HERE to view!

[raspberrysunshinebby]

Two Choices

Chapter 9

Pairing: Eris x reader x Azriel (not rlly)

Summary: The future wife of Eris never cared much for mating bonds, she had spent years in love with Eris and when Beron finally died they could be together. He has full intention to make his love into his High Lady until at a party meant to celebrate Eris’ reign the girl finds herself finding her mate, Azriel.

Warnings: none in this chapter. 

A/N: Sorry this literally took forever, I had the biggest writers block on this and was working on other stories. Also with my taglist please comment under this post if I missed you because my doc for it got messed up.

Word Count:  2677

Leaving in the Night wasn’t an option for us, instead opting to leave in the morning when fewer people would be awake. Many fae and other creatures were nocturnal in this area apparently. 

The girl with an Afro, whose name I learned was Fern, gave me some extra clothes. A outfit with black pants, a slight corset, and a white top, I was also given a pair of boots so it’d be easier to travel. It sort of reminded me of what I’d wear when my brothers would take me hunting with them, except I wouldn’t wear so tight since that wasn’t an Autumn Court thing.

Once everyone else was set to go we went off, when traveling I noticed how they kept Corbin and me at the front most likely to keep an eye on us. I found this kind of funny when I was paying them, I didn’t say anything though, and kept walking. I ended up also taking this opportunity to get to know Corbin, when we traveled alone we didn’t get a chance to really talk. More bonding over us both doing our best to get out of the Night Court without dying or getting brought back.

“I was already planning on leaving,” Corbin told me, “I have friends in The Court of Nightmares, ones who are slaves basically. They're not by name but based on how they're treated, they’re slaves. High Lord Rhysand is so content on just leaving The Court of Nightmares alone, he thinks everyone in there is a monster, but they're not. I already helped my friends get out, I’m gonna meet them in the Summer Court.”

“Why did you want to help me then?” I asked, softly.

“High Lord Rhysand pisses me off, I couldn’t let what happened to my mother happen to someone else while Rhysand stood there.”

“What about High Lady Feyre? Why doesn’t she do anything?” I questioned, I didn’t get to talk or really learn about anyone in the Night Court during my time there, too consumed with what was going on already with Azriel.

“She barely learned how to read two years ago, I don't blame her for that but she’s not educated enough to be a High Lady. So that’s why she’s not involved in any of the Court affairs. She’s honestly more of a consort than a High Lady. Nothing wrong with being a consort but still.”

He paused for a moment before speaking, “Oh yea there's also the Illyrian camps, how Rhysand hasn’t done anything to truly fix it is beyond me.”

“All he does is send Cassian to train some female Illyrians every once in a while then leave.” I heard the Illyrian girl, Wren, say bitterly.

“I don't wanna overstep, but did you run away from one?” I asked her.

“Yes.” That was all she said, I wanted to ask for more information but she looked angry at the mere mention of it, so I didn’t.

We walked for a while more until we passed the border, the relief that hit my chest after we did was intense. I looked toward Corbin who gave me a smile and a nod before we continued. Corbin would later tell me how there was a slight skip in my step.

We wanted to stay as far away from people as possible after we got out of the mountains, which would take hours for us to get through, so we opted to camp in a cave, by the exit of the mountains, we found for a while until it hit nightfall and not many would be awake. A fire in the camp we made kept us warm from the cool air of the cave while many of us napped or just rested to savor the energy for the trip.

I sat on a rock that stood by the fire, well one I moved to be a seat by the fire while staring at the beautiful scenery of the Day Court. The day court was so bright, filled with so many blues and greens a part of me never thought I’d see outside of Valeris again; I watched the clouds with an empty mind until I heard someone sit on the ground on the other side of the fire. I looked to see Blythe sitting on the other side, warming up. 

Finally able to get a good look at his face I realized that he wasn’t ugly, he was actually quite attractive. Blythe was a man with a hard face, mean-looking face, and short brown hair that didn’t cover his cyan eyes and I also noticed like Fern, his ears were down-pointed. He noticed me analyzing his face and looked toward me.

“What is it?” He asked me.

“Nothing,” I replied, “I just hadn’t gotten a good look at your face, you didn’t look how you did in my mind.”

“Did you think I was ugly?” He asked.

“Why would I think you were ugly?” I replied fast.

He smirked, “You thought I was ugly.” He grabbed a stick to play with the fire.

“Okay I didn’t think you were ugly, I just didn’t have a good look at your face and I wasn’t sure whether or not you were,” I tried to think of a word to say, “were ugly?”

He snickered at that, “So you thought I was gonna be ugly?”

I rolled my eyes at him, causing a chuckle out of him before he spoke, “Catch this.”

I opened my hands to catch whatever he was going to throw at me before thinking and quickly caught something wrapped in linen. I opened the linen to find a big piece of bread that looked like it was baked in herbs. I looked up to him, “You're skinny,” He said “You need to get some meat on your bones. We’ll have a proper meal tonight when we go out, but for now just have some bread.”

I nodded to him in a thank you before eating, as my brother had once said ‘she looks skinny and dead’. I really needed to gain weight, especially if I wanted to be able to walk all the way to the Winter Court. I needed to be healthy enough to do it.

I ate my bread pretty quickly, I didn’t realize how hungry I actually was, with me chewing on food Blythe and I sat in silence, well until we heard a crashing in a deep part of the cave.

Blythe and I quickly sat up from our spots, worried of what the commotion could be. Blythe reached over to where the others napped to wake them up, I woke up Corbin before noticing that the man with the pretty face wasn’t here.

“Where’s Auden?” I heard Fern ask, I shrugged my shoulders at her, unsure as well.

The little boy, Oliver, got up quickly from his spot on the floor, drawing his sword in the process and peering into the darkness in the cave.

“I think its best we find Auden and then leave,” Corbin said, still a little groggy, “It’ll be nightfall soon so we might as well leave early.”

“Yea but we need to find Auden!” Wren whispered. You could see it on her face that she was worried.

Oliver continued peering down the cave looking for a sign of disturbance. Corbin followed behind him, peering on the other side of the cave wall with a knife at his hand, where he got said knife I didn’t ask. 

“Do you know how to fight?” Wren asked me.

My brothers had taught me little, just enough to defend myself when I was younger, but being the childhood champion of the Heir to the Autumn Court made it so that Silas’s parenting on me was closely watch in order to not ‘infect’ his son, Eris and I once overheard Beron say that to my brother. We both walked away in disgust.

I shook my head, “A little, but not really.” 

Wren placed a knife in my hand, “If whatever that is gets close to you, stab it. Simple isn’t it?”

I nodded to her, “Simple.” 

We waited, not even breaths were heard as we waited. Eventually after a minute we heard a gargle-like noise from deep inside it, “We need to leave.” I heard Blythe say.

“No.” Wren said firmly, “Not without Auden.”

“What without me?” I heard a voice behind me, I turned to see Auden with his blonde hair and skinny figure standing there, completely fine.

I looked to see Wren blinking before grabbing Oliver by his shoulder, Oliver putting away his sword as whatever it was growled down the cave. I looked to Blythe to see him motioning towards the entrance of the cave. I moved to grab Corbin’s wrist before following Blythe out of the cave, the others following before him.

I did my best to move as swiftly as I could before leaping out of the cave with the others, holding onto our blankets and pillows that we silently decided to put back into our packs after we got away from whatever that thing was. We continued to run for a few miles, just in case.

We finally stopped near a clearing and that was the spot we’d decided to put our things back away, Wren and Fern laughing together about how dumb that situation was while I helped Corbin fold up his blanket.

“Auden. What were you doing away from us?” I heard Blythe ask Auden. I tried not to look like I was listening to the conversation but it was hard not to. “I was gonna go hunting, so we didn’t have to worry about dinner and just keep moving.”

I heard Blythe sigh, “You can't run off like that, we thought whatever was in there took you!” He raised his voice.

Now it was even weirder listening to this conversation, but at least I knew I wasn’t the only one listening with everyone else’s heads perked up as they all listened to the conversation.

Blythe looked at us all, sighed, then grabbed Auden by the shoulder. “We’ll be continuing this conversation, Wren will go find a restaurant for us to eat.”

Wren nodded before taking off flying to go find a town and restaurant, especially one that can feed our group.

The rest of us kind of sat around while we waited, Oliver played with his sword clearly just a bored child. Corbin and I layed around on the ground and Fern took some things out of her bag to put in her hair.

It was around ten minutes when Auden finally came back without Blythe, he looked embarrassed and defeated as he sat on the ground next to Corbin.

“Where's Blythe?” I asked, sitting myself up.

It took Auden a second, “Blythe’s mad, he yelled at me for ten minutes straight before sending me off.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have ran off.” I heard Fern say, “Blythe gets worried sick when he doesn’t know where we are, you know that Auden.”

I stood up from my spot, “Where's the snacks?” I asked Fern, she pointed toward a bag on the floor.

I looked through the bag to find some basic snacks and decided to grab some bread, cheese, and some meat. I wasn’t sure exactly what it was but I grabbed it anyway. I wrapped all of them in some spare linen before walking towards where I saw Auden come from, Fern shouting behind me to be careful and not die.

I followed a dirt path on the ground that led to a river, it was connected to a waterfall and had huge rocks around it, and Blythe sat on the ground ontop of a rock by the river, he looked to be playing with something in his hand. As I walked closer I realized it was a knife that he swung in it, the knife danced around his fingers as he didn’t even notice me approaching him.

“Blythe?” I said in my best soft voice, I didn’t stand too close behind him just enough to make sure he heard me. He put his knife back into its holder before turning to me, “What is it?” He said giving me a look.

With how angry he seemed it made me feel some anxiety, I made an awkward smile before lifting up the items I’d brought. “I have snacks.” I said, he nodded to me.

“Why?” He asked, “Wren is looking for a restaurant right now.”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Yea but who know how long that’ll be, plus the wait time and stuff its gonna be a little bit and I haven’t seen you eat much.” I pushed my arm out toward him, “Here.”

He grabbed the food from me, he turned back to use his knife to cut open the bread to make a sandwich, I was preparing myself to leave thinking Blythe wanted to be left alone. I moved my hands behind my back and began walking to join the rest of the group before Blythe spoke up, “Sit.” I looked over to see him patting a spot next to him on the rock.

I turned back around to follow his instruction, as I sat next to him I noticed he was making two sandwiches, he stopped making the second one to pass the first to me. Blythe simply gave me a nod before continuing to make his own. It didn’t take long to make the sandwich, but I still waitied until Blythe was done and he’d began eating before I began eating my own.

Blythe and I didn’t speak after this, only enjoying nature and basking in the silence as we ate together. I felt awkward at first before I began to enjoy it, I’d never felt a quiet presence with anyone before, I’d always felt a little pressured to always be talking so never turns awkward. I’d never even been fully quiet with Eris or Azriel, only quiet when I was mad at Azriel or having a breakdown caused by him and only quiet when Eris had told me to, which wasn’t often, I swear it was like twice. 

I’d lost count of how long we’d been there, even quiet after we’d finished eating. My knees were close to my chest a Blythe and I watched the river flow. I quickly realized how much I enjoyed the smell of dirt and grass, it felt like it was all around me at the moment. I realized how for the first time in months, I was relaxed. I was away from the Night Court, I was getting farther and farther away from Azriel and I was relaxed.

I looked over when a noise come out behind us, I saw Oliver coming to approach us, Blythe looked behind us as well as we waited for Oliver to talk.

“Wren sent me to tell you guys to come back, she found a restaurant to eat at.” Oliver said, Blythe nodded to him before Oliver left to go back to the others.

I jumped off the rock and whipped myself off from the dirt on it, then whipped my hands together before grabbing the remnants of the food that we’d already wrapped up then I started to walk back.

“Y/N” I heard Blythe say from behind me, I looked over to see Blythe standing there, “I apologize for kidnapping you and Corbin.”

I shrugged at him, “Hey it happens, plus your getting a lot of money out of it.”

“Did you seriously just say, ‘hey it happens’?” Blythe said.

“I mean most of my brothers have been kidnapped, it was bound to happen to me.”

Blythe’s face looked shocked, “That’s a story your telling me at dinner.”

I laughed before moving to continue walking, still snickering at the fact of Blythe being surprised at my brothers being kidnapped, which I lied about cause I thought it was funny and now I wanted to see how long I could keep the lie up before he meet my brothers.

[that-gay-guy-from-hell]

Vent post

Content warning: memory loss (I guess)

(This is for context) So yall know how having trauma fucks with your head-- especially if it was during your childhood and for an extended time. Well I've got a lot of issues with remembering things.

As some of you know, I went to a Qbomb + TLT concert a little short of two weeks ago. I remember that I enjoyed myself but I can't recall any specifics.

I can't recall most of the music.

I can't recall what was said during the performances.

I can't remember watching either band perform.

I can barely even remember meeting Yoav and Sam.

It's like when someone tells you that this thing happened when you were little but you were so young you can't remember it yourself. Like, I know I was there- that I danced- screamed- and had a fun time... but it's vague at best.

My whole life has, admittedly, been this way and I usually just joke about it enough that it doesn't bother me.

But this was something I was so excited for and ready to do; only to have fuzzy bits and cookie cutter feelings to paste to it.

I don't smoke weed, drink, or do anything that would interfere with my memories. My medications have changed many times and it's never done anything to my memories. So why the fuck can't my mind just, yah know, work..?

It's has been just pissing me off... Like, I want to be able to recall fun things and fun times but it's really hard for me to. Course my stupid ass didn't take all but like 4 photos.

Getting alzhiemers or dementia are one of my biggest fears-- I just... it makes me so tired some times. Humor is pretty much my only cope when it comes to this so when I can't find myself in the mood to be funny about it then... Then I just get upset.

. . .

Also, don't take this as me fishing for sympathy. I just needed to vent and Instagram has too many people that would try to text me about it (old friends and classmates).

Oh and just to add on because I hate leaving on a bad note-- Pretty sure I majorly fucked up my left knee at the concert lmao. My knee drifts really bad so my left foot is like a penguins. So me a very fat man who doesn't get out much and was wearing boots that had cardboard in them to keep my feet in a comfortable spot* probably shouldn't have been jumping around like I was. My ass was moving pretty much through whole like 1 1/2 - 2 hours of music (save for the last 2 songs, I felt super light headed *hadn't eaten or drank in over 12 hours at that point lmfao*). Can't kneel on my left knee without wanting to keel over and it feels sore still lmfaooo

*they're like size 11 and I wear 9 1/2 because I have wide feet; the 11 boots are left over from a theatre proformance in high school. They're like really nice leather boots tho so I wanted to wear them.

Okay I think that's all I've got for now. As a small bonus I'll let yall know that I have several TLT things I need to post and have been working on (maybe even a Rust comic 🤔 who knows).

Hope you all are doing well and make sure to drink lots of water. Much love yall, sorry again for the random ass rant.

[myimaginarywonderland]

This entire season could have been better if we just had 11-13 episodes and actually had developed this whole bad arc more.

Because for the entire season I 100% thought the big reveal was centering around Susan Triad. She was the Bad Wolf, the Bees keep disappearing, the Vote for Saxon, the Silence etc. of this season.

She was established from the beginning hell from the specials as the plot reveal of the season which is also why the Ruby mystery already feels too much because we rarely had that before. Sure we had Clara with the impossible girl arc but that was build up before she ever became a main character and it feels like for the first episodes with her we also didn't have a big bad villain really.

But we already had two mysteries coming into this season and we only had 9 episodes, 2 of which would be a season finale so the lead up would have to be done in the first 4 episodes at least.

Instead we also got the TARDIS groaning, something which they easily could have kept small and increased next season to make a big bad villain return when they have more time!

But now we have 4 major plotline mysteries that we essentially all had leading up to the season + multiple unanswered questions alongside those.

None of the four plot points have felt connected in any way. Not once has Ruby felt connected to the whole Susan thing, the TARDIS noise has not shown a clear pattern yet and also seems completely disconnected from Ruby and the Susan thing and Mrs Flood has only really connected to Ruby but not to anything else.

Not to mention the whole woman thing felt flat because it seemed like the Doctor didn't even care to notice it until like 1 episode ago. With other things they were acknowledged early on however it took the doctor a long ass time to even realise he has basically been seeing the same woman apparently for months? The Doctor even in like post Regeneration would have clearly picked up on that. There is no way he wouldn't have.

And Ms. Flood he would have noted to.

The TARDIS groaning that I can understanding writing off because even to us as an audience there is still no clear pattern and with the explanation we had for 2 times (crashing essentially at the end of the universe and being disturbed because the course of history is changing due to an actual deities making) most of us just didn't question it.

This isn't good story writing. There are 4 major plot points that have not at all connected this season and are all supposed to be solved in like an hour.

Had we had more build up, more connections, more scenes to question this, it would have been a great finale but they just put everything that is questioned together, faked us out multiple times, left with more questions than answers and slapped a Doctor Who villain that most new fans don't know or will barely remember from the fucking 70s as an answer for it all.

The answer doesn't make sense. Nothing of the major plot points was even connected this episode, instead we had one more bigger reveal that took up time instead of answering the mysteries which should have been answered.

[gl00mxstar]

TW Vent (ig???)

Ignore if you don't want to read/can't stand it this stuff

First off all when I finally went to sleep two days ago suddenly my "dad" came in and told me "mom" is coming soon so I barely got 2h of sleep. Then ofc she just had to pretend she cares. She gave me some sweets for children's day (and bottle of advocaat mmmm yes children's day yum) honestly I'm surprised she bought stuff I like and not some random shit she thinks I like as always and wanted to take me and her husband's son out for pizza and to play tennis or something. Idk why. Maybe she thinks that after abusing me for my whole life she can make me forget about it if she gives me some gift and asks once in a while how I'm doing.

Then next day I stayed up writing and drawing too long again and when I wanted to go to sleep "dad" says my cat gave birth in shed at night. Yet another cat's birth I couldn't be at. I borrowed one of my catbeds to my "aunt" and since I didn't have anywhere to put them in I went out to my old house to collect it.

I walked dehydrated in sun, slightly sleep deprived with my whole body shaking and hurting a lot just to see her in outside (???) clothes and for her to say "she wanted to bring it but my dad hung up on her before she could say it" I pet all of her cats including the my own that ran away (idk if it's bc he's sick and wants to be in old house in case he's about to die or for no reason at all cats sometimes act odd). I went back and when we finally could move her inside.

She acted normal while in shed nursing both her kittens that were alive and seemingly healthy but when we moved her inside the house she didn't want to stay. She left kittens alone in catbed and was just standing at the door to let her out. "Dad" told me to just move her back to shed but I know it's probably a bad idea. There were flies flying around them (I didn't find any eggs or larvae on them thank fuck), rats and chickens have easy access here (I saw them chase adult cats, they didn't do anything yet but newborn kittens would be easy food for them if she left them unattended and I don't want to risk it happen), also chicken droppings, shed is generally not clean and previosuly mentioned flies. She also not a good mom and she should be watched while she's near kittens last time she squashed one of them with her own body and leaved them unattended. I'm surprised but glad that she at least cleans them. When I told him that we can't leave her there he just laughed at me and said he doen't care and they'll be fine. For some reason he favors one of my cats over the others even his own one, he spoils her, lets her do anything she wants even walking on the table but he shoos away and sometimes even yells at rest for wanting to lie on him or sit near the table and ask for food he's eating (not even actually stealing the food or trying to just them sitting there annoys him)

When I left her inside the house and finally went to sleep I slept for 9 FUCKING HOURS (it's bad for me to sleep long) I like half and hour before midnight I wanted to get up but I was lying in the same position the whole time so my leg was hurting too much for me to get up so I turned to other side for 3h. When I went to get breakfast (is it breakfast when it's almost 3am? idk) I saw that door was opened in room where I kept them. They weren't there. That fucking bastard probably moved to shed despite what I was saying before. I say probably since I can't even go and check on her. My body shakes and hurts too much for me, it's hard to get inside even when you're healthy, I don't want to risk falling down the stairs like I almost did multiple times in the past. I can't pet her or see if they're even in there bc of him.

I know I should get her spayed, I couldn't do it the first time bc it's really expensive no matter where I looked, luckily not long ago place where I live offers to cover half the price and I'll take her to get it done, I just need to talk with "mom's" husband so he can drive me there (it's pretty far to get by bus and I've never been there so I just know I'd get lost)

On top of that my friend leaves me on read despite her saying to write more, idk why I'm really worried about her. I hope her bf didn't somehow find out she ratted him out to me for being abusive asshole and just bc she's tired or wanted to write back later and forgot