#911 6x18

[queerbuckleys]

...it’s also about life experience. and i think you need some more of that...

[deluweil]

At first, it was Buck reaching for Eddie,

Then Eddie reaching for Buck,

Now, they're reaching for one another,

[meep-meep-richie]

[thewanderingace]

9-1-1 6x18

[henwilsonmd]

post 6x18: some out-of-order vignettes | ao3

4251 words

“Buck,” said Eddie, trying to school his face into something less fond and amused. “That’s my couch.”

Buck turned from where he’d been happily showing off the new piece of furniture he’d gotten with Natalia the day prior. “What?”

“The couch,” Eddie repeated, with a quirk of his eyebrow. “You bought my exact couch.”

“No,” Buck replied with a shake of his head. “No, it’s definitely different.”

read on ao3

Eddie looked at it—a three-seater in dark blue, velvet-y fabric with square corners and deep seats to accommodate his long legs. They’d picked out some nice white decorative pillows for it, and it’s certainly brand-new looking, but—

“It’s totally the same.” Eddie gave up on hiding his smile.

Buck looked back to the couch, tilting his head to scrutinize it. After a moment, he sighed, planting his hands on his hips. “Ah, fuck. It’s totally the same.”

Eddie groaned, letting his head thump back onto the edge of the cot behind him. “The pain meds are definitely kicking in.”

“Well, good,” snarked Buck from a chair next to him, attention half-focused on his phone in his hands. “That’s what they’re supposed to do.”

Eddie sighed, long-suffering. “You too?”

“Yes, Eddie, me too.” Buck replied, thumbs flying as he tapped out something on the screen in his hands. Probably to Maddie. Probably about Chim. Who was probably okay. “Your ribs are fucking broken.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, staring at the ceiling. “And I know what they feel like. I’m fine, there was—other stuff going on.” He thought about that paramedic from the 133 shining a penlight into Hen’s eyes, frowning like he didn’t like the results and going back in to do it again. He thought about the constant jitter of Buck’s leg next to him, the constant worry for Bobby and Chimney who’d taken the other two ambulances before the three of them had managed to squeeze into another cab. “Besides,” Eddie pulled himself back on track. “Did you even get checked out?” He leveled Buck with a look that he hoped had more energy behind it than he had left.

Buck shrugged, powering off his phone with a click. “I’m fine.”

“There’s blood all over your face,” Eddie pointed out.

“Hen cleaned most of it up already.”

“There was more?”

“That’s—Eddie, I’m fine,” Buck said, turning towards him. “I scraped up my cheek and bit my tongue when I fell, and, sure, I’ll be a little bruised, but I’m fine.”

“You lost consciousness,” Eddie pointed out, and he swallowed around a dry throat.

“How… how did you know that?” Buck stuttered in reply.

Eddie gave his own shrug, picking at the edge of the right kneepad on his turnout pants. “I didn’t pass out. I radioed right after I’d gotten my bearings, but no one answered. Then, like, thirty seconds later you must have woken up.”

Buck, for a moment, held Eddie’s gaze with something so unbelievably devastated, and guilty—like the thought of not being able to answer Eddie’s call was the worst possible thing that had happened that day. Then he flicked his eyes down to the floor. “Okay, s-so, like, thirty seconds. I’m fine, Eddie. Really.”

Eddie frowned, thinking about those thirty seconds—an unbearable weight on his back, a growing pain in his chest, and the clawing panic as he listened to the silence stretching out on the other side of the radio and fought the mounting urge to plead, I’m still alive, please, I’m still alive down here.

And then how he’d breathed a hugely painful sigh of relief when Buck finally asked for a headcount, how he’d fumbled into his pocket for his St. Christopher medal and prayed—something he hadn’t done since that awful week of the coma. Prayed that he’d come home safe to his son, but also that Buck would be careful—that he wouldn’t do something stupid and destructive and reckless to save any of them.

That heady rush of gratitude when Buck had sawed the doors open, taking off his safety goggles and assessing Eddie’s situation with a calculating, heavy gaze.

Next to him, Buck cleared his throat, shifting in the chair. “Anyway, you broke three ribs, man. Let the meds do their job.”

Eddie huffed a laugh, leaning back into the pillows behind him. “Trust me, they are.”

Eddie sipped his Diet Coke, beer off-limits because he was still taking the Tylenol threes. “So, you finally got a new couch.”

“I had a couch before,” Buck pointed out, a matching soda in his hand for solidarity. “Kameron just—y’know, gave birth all over it.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, snorting a soft laugh. “That must have been wild.”

Buck chuckled. “The baby didn’t want to wait, I guess.”

“Impatient little guy,” Eddie said. “Must be those Buckley genes.”

“Hey,” Buck protested, pointing a finger. “I can be plenty patient.”

“Sure,” Eddie agreed placatingly, but be noticed how there seemed to be something more behind the mirth in Buck’s eyes—the plastic pieces at the edges of his smile. He fought the urge to say I told you so—mostly because it would have been childish, but also because Buck hadn’t asked for his opinion at any step of the way, and Eddie hadn’t offered.

Eddie decided to wait him out—usually the best course of action when it came to Buck. Eddie understood intimately how much time it could take to parse through a mess of feelings in your brain and formulate them into words that would make sense to another person. Usually, Eddie would sit quietly and sip his beer while watching Buck’s feelings play out on his unguarded face, and after a minute or two Buck would haltingly begin to explain what had been going on with him.

Eddie had tried to explain that to Maddie when they’d both been nearly sick with worry over Buck’s post-coma mental state. “He’ll come to you when he’s ready,” Eddie had said over the phone. “You can’t force him to talk about it.”

“Eddie, you don’t know him like I do,” Maddie had protested. “He shouldn’t be alone right now.”

And Eddie had opened his mouth to say no, actually, I know him better than you, I know him better than anyone, but—that’s not true, is it? Why would Eddie know Buck better than his own sister, who’s spent the entire thirty years of his life caring for him, when Eddie’s only had him for—what, five years? Then subtract all the things they didn’t talk to each other about and all the issues they’ve had, and—yeah, who is Eddie to say what’s best for Buck?

And then Buck had knocked on his door and passed out on his couch and Eddie had felt righteously vindicated in a way that he almost wanted to rub in Maddie’s face, which was kind of bitchy of him to think.

So, Buck sipped his soda next to Eddie on his new couch, a storm of emotions clear on his face, and Eddie waited him out because that’s what he does.

Buck let out a sigh, and Eddie thought, here it is, he’ll let me in, and then— “Want to watch the Dodgers game?”

Eddie blinked. “Um, sure.”

And Buck turned on the TV.

Doubt roiled in Eddie’s gut.

“What about Hen?” Eddie asked, Buck’s hand tight on his arm as he helped him into the passenger seat of the Jeep.

“Karen already took her home, she’s fine,” Buck replied easily, before he shut the door and rounded the front of the car.

He’d left when Eddie had been taken back for x-rays, taking an Uber back to the station to pick up his car so he could come back to get Eddie and drive them both home. Eddie absently wondered when he would get a chance to get his truck from the station parking lot.

Buck hopped into the driver’s seat, fitting his keys in the ignition but pausing before turning the engine. He fixed Eddie with a gentle, reassuring look. “Seriously, man, everyone’s fine. Athena’s with Bobby, Maddie’s with Chim, let’s go home.”

Eddie swallowed, biting the inside of his cheek as he thought about just how close literally every single one of them except Ravi had come to something far more serious than some hospital bills and time off work.

His gaze slid to Buck, who flashed him that small, soft, close-mouthed smile that Eddie rarely saw—the one that made his chest feel warm and gooey.

“Okay. Let’s go home.”

The Dodgers were losing, and Buck wasn’t talking about it. Eddie tried not to either of those things get to him.

During a commercial break, Buck got up to throw their empty pizza boxes away, waving Eddie off as he moved to help.

When he came back into the living room, he paused under the overhang of the loft, just staring at Eddie.

“What?” he asked, a bit self-conscious.

Buck huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “I can’t believe I bought your couch.”

Eddie snorted. “Don’t worry about it, man. It’s flattering. You think I have good taste.”

Buck raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know if that’s it. Half the furniture in your house is from Target.”

Eddie sputtered. “I—what’s wrong with Target furniture?”

Buck, lowering himself back onto the cushions next to Eddie, raised his hands in a show of innocence. “Nothing, man. I just—I don’t know if I would call it good taste.”

Having no comeback, Eddie just whacked him in the shoulder.

Buck laughed, playfully pushing his hand away. “Hey, c’mon, don’t start shit when I can’t retaliate.”

Eddie smirked. “Why? ‘Cause you know you can’t take me?”

“No,” Buck denied. “’Cause your ribs are still fucking broken.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, Buck.”

“Well.” Buck crossed his arms, turning back to the TV as the next inning started. “Forgive me for wanting to be careful.”

For a moment, Eddie considered saying hey, maybe we should talk about how I could’ve almost died again? But Buck clearly wasn’t in the mood to talk about the big things, and Eddie didn’t really want to think about that yet either, so he settled for bumping their shoulders together.

Buck leaned right back into him, and neither of them moved apart—the comforting warmth of the contact buzzing in Eddie’s brain like the alcohol he wasn’t drinking.

Eddie smiled down at his hands. “You like my couch,” he teased.

“Yeah, yeah,” Buck groused, slouching into the cushions as they watched a batter swing and miss yet again. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Are you sure you’re both alright?” Carla asked, a worried hand hovering over his elbow. “I caught some of the collapse on the news.”

Eddie flashed her a smile before turning to pour two glasses of water—one for him and one for Buck, who was off in Christopher’s room. “We’re okay,” he said. “A little banged up, but the doctors said I should be back to work in six weeks or less.”

Carla narrowed her eyes. “You better take that full six weeks.”

Eddie set the Brita down and met her gaze. “I’m fine, Carla. Really.”

She sighed, crossing her arms. “I just—I worry about you, Eddie. Okay? I know you’d rather I didn’t, but I can’t help it.”

Eddie ducked his head and smiled, a bit, filled with that familiar half-disbelief that people really do care about him. “I know it doesn’t look like it, but—I was lucky today. That nothing worse happened, that—that Buck was there to pull me out.”

Carla scoffed. “Of course he was. I don’t think luck had anything to do with that one.”

Eddie tried to fight the blush off his cheeks—he didn’t know what to do with that. Carla’s surety that Buck would save him come hell or high water. His own surety that Buck would be ripping open the doors of that camper van any second now.

When she realized he wasn’t going to say anything, Carla cleared her throat. “I should go. You up for a hug?”

“From you?” Eddie responded easily. “Always.”

Carla pulled him into a gentle-but-still-desperate embrace. “Okay, I’ll get out of your hair.” With a frown, she brought a hand up to ruffle the wilting mess on Eddie’s head. “Your dusty-ass hair. Take a shower, alright?”

Eddie laughed. “Alright, alright.”

“It’s a little early for a welcome back party, don’t you think?” Eddie said as Athena hugged him in greeting, Christopher heading off in search of the other kids.

“You and Bobby are headed back tomorrow,” Athena pointed out.

“Yeah, and Chimney’s not back for another two weeks.”

“And you best believe I’ll throw another party for him.”

Eddie laughed, before venturing further into the house to greet everyone else. His ribs had healed perfectly, barely a twinge when he’d thrown himself onto the couch in triumph yesterday. Which—speaking of, Eddie’s phone was burning a hole in his pocket and he was doing a very good job of ignoring that.

Or, he was, until a lull in conversation found him standing alone in the kitchen and pulling it out of his jeans. No texts. Which—of course, they’d agreed to go for coffee after his shift on Friday, why would she text him before that—but, still. Eddie was nervous. Sue him.

His thumbs hover over the keyboard for a moment while he debates if it’s too much of a desperate move to text Marisol before they even go on a date. Christopher would know.

“Who are you texting?” asked a voice, and Eddie fumbled to turn off his phone and shove it in his pocket before someone could see… what?

He looked up to see Buck smiling at his antics, a beer in hand.

“Oh, it’s you,” Eddie sighed, leaning against the counter.

Buck sidled over to join him, staring out the windows at the backyard where the party was in full swing. “Just me. Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s fine,” Eddie replied, for some reason hoping desperately that Buck wouldn’t ask him about—

“So,” Buck nudged an elbow into his arm. “Who were you texting?”

—fuck. Eddie wasn’t sure why this felt like something he didn’t want to tell Buck, to whom he tells everything, but… they don’t really talk about their girlfriends? It was always, always awkward, and it always left him with a sour taste in his mouth.

But, Eddie’s excited about this. Marisol probably won’t be the one, or whatever, but—still. Eddie was excited that his brain was finally in a place where he could think about opening up his life to someone and it wouldn’t send him into a panic attack that landed him in the ER.

And Buck asked.

And Eddie’s not in the habit of saying no to him.

“Um,” he started. “Do you remember Marisol? From the—”

“—yeah, yeah!” Buck cut him off. “So, you were texting her?” He raised his eyebrows, a knowing glint in his gaze.

Eddie blushed. “Yeah, uh… we’re going on a date?” he said quietly, a pit of dread or something similar opening in his gut.

Buck was quiet for a moment, and Eddie risked a glance at his face. He just caught the edge of something shocked and maybe fearful in his expression before it cleared and was replaced by one of those huge, sunny smiles.

“Eddie!” Buck exclaimed. “That’s great! Oh my god, man, this is awesome,” he enthused, slinging an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and squeezing him close.

“Yeah,” Eddie chuckled, still unsure why part of him felt sick with guilt.

“Hey, ever notice how we always start dating at the same time?”

“No, do we?” Eddie lied, thinking about how he’d agonized over making the call and kept telling himself Buck’s with Natalia now, you should do this.

Buck laughed again, before he jolted with surprise and turned to Eddie, excitedly slapping him on the arm. “Dude! We can go on double dates now!”

Eddie frowned. “We didn’t last time.”

Buck shrugged. “Well, you didn’t like Taylor, so I figured—”

“I liked Taylor,” Eddie protested.

Buck snorted. “Uh, no, you didn’t.”

Eddie tilted his head in a you-got-me face. “I kind of didn’t. I thought you didn’t notice.”

Buck dropped his arm around Eddie’s shoulders again, making Eddie huff out a breath. “Oh, Edmundo, I always notice.”

No you don’t, Eddie thought, and then he ignored that.

“But,” Buck continued, a hesitation in his voice. “You—you like Natalia, right?”

Eddie didn’t really know her at all, except for how excited she’d been about Buck’s death-that-didn’t-stick and how angry that had made him. “Yeah,” Eddie lied again. “She’s good for you. And she has good taste in couches.”

Buck laughed, relieved. “Good. So—we’ll do a double date, yeah? Me, you, Natalia, Marisol.”

Fuck, no. Eddie thought. That sounds awful.

“Yeah, sure,” Eddie said instead. “That sounds great.”

Eddie was in the kitchen, pre-heating the oven to heat up some frozen chicken tenders because he didn’t have the energy to cook anything else when he felt little arms wrap gently around his midsection. It hurt his ribs, but Eddie didn’t have the heart to dislodge his son—not when these hugs were becoming rarer and rarer each day.

“Hey, kid,” Eddie said, turning in the hold and dropping a hand onto Christopher’s head. “What’s up?”

Eddie had already seen him, when he popped his head into Christopher’s room to find him sitting with Buck, a careful hand brushing the wounds on the man’s cheek. The sight had made something massive and unknowable bloom inside Eddie’s broken chest, threatening to choke him. He’d tamped it down and hugged Chris hello before heading off to shower, but apparently that hadn’t been enough.

Chris looked up, propping his chin on Eddie’s sternum. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he said, a tightness in his voice betraying him.

Eddie smiled. “Me too.” Even though it sparked the ache in his side into a bona-fide pain, Eddie leaned over to drop a kiss onto Christopher’s head—something he barely tolerates anymore. “Hey, the doctors said I’d be good as new in six weeks. Think you can deal with having me around all the time for that long?”

Chris laughed, bright and happy, and Eddie’s heart sang. “I’ll try,” he joked, and then something clouded passed over his face. “Buck’s okay, too, right? His face is bloody.”

“Oh, buddy,” Eddie sighed. Usually, he would kneel down to meet Christopher’s gaze, but he settled for easing himself into a chair and ignoring the concerned look Chris was giving him. “Buck’s totally fine, he just got scraped up a little bit. And today was pretty—pretty scary. For both of us.” He swallowed down the urge to berate himself for telling his kid he was scared, and it seemed to be the right move, because Chris nodded along with wide, careful eyes.

Eddie sighed again, settling his hands on his son’s shoulders. “But—tell you what. Buck’s gonna stay with us tonight, and he’s pretty bad at taking care of himself, right?” Chris giggled at that, and Eddie smiled in response. “So you and I are gonna have to be sneaky about taking care of him tonight, okay?”

Eddie expected Chris to give another sweet smile, and maybe to offer some comfort so earnest and childlike in its innocence that it made everything in the world feel right again, so he wasn’t quite sure to do when Chris burst out into loud, raucous laughter.

“Okay, what’s so funny?” he said, playing at being annoyed.

“It’s just,” Chris managed through his massive smile. “That’s exactly what Buck said. About you!”

Eddie just blinked in response, and Chris fell into peals of laughter again. “Okay,” Eddie said with mock-offense. “Okay, I see how it is. Gang up on the injured guy, why don’t you.”

“Da-ad,” Chris whined, fixing him with a very grown-up look. “We just care about you.”

Eddie pursed his lips, that unknown emotion threatening to drown him again. “Yeah,” he said, more choked-up than he would like. “I know.”

A small hand covered his, and Eddie flipped his own over to give it a squeeze. “Why don’t you go put on the next episode of María, okay? We’ll translate for Buck.”

Chris smirked. “You mean you’ll translate for Buck.”

“Hey, don’t sell yourself short, kid,” Eddie offered as Chris disappeared into the living room.

And later, when they were all piled on the couch, Christopher giggling at Eddie’s half-assed translations and Buck protesting that he understands more Spanish than you think, guys, the newest dose of pain meds forced upon him by Buck making his head more than a bit fuzzy, Eddie thought to himself: I wish it could be like this forever.

Buck shouted in exaggerated outrage to make Chris laugh, gesturing at some ridiculous plot point playing out on the screen, and Eddie let that huge wave of feeling bowl him over—that world-ending, all-consuming love.

Just this. Forever.

“Hold on, let me get this straight,” Hen said, a hand raised to keep Eddie quiet. “He has this whole thing about his girlfriends being couches, and the couch he finally bought is your couch?”

Feeling somehow embarrassed, Eddie just nodded. Hen shared a smirk with Chimney, sitting on the lawn chair that Maddie hadn’t let him move from for the entire party.

“That’s like—almost romantic,” Chimney snorted.

“What?” Eddie said.

“He’s been looking for the perfect couch, but it was yours all along!” Chim crowed, and Hen dissolved into giggles. She was definitely more than a little drunk.

“It’s so sweet, Eddie, come on,” she needled.

“Well, sure, but—” Eddie sputtered. “—romantic? Come on, guys.”

“No, you—you come on.” Hen said around a hiccup. “You guys are—Buck and Eddie! Eddie and Buck!”

“Yeah,” Eddie replied with a frown. “And you guys are Hen and Chim.”

“Nah, no, no, no,” Chim said with a wagging finger. “It’s not the same.”

“How is it not the same?” Eddie threw his hands in the air, one hampered by the half-full bottle in his hand. “You guys are partners, just like us.”

“Yeah, but,” Hen said. “You guys are partners,” she explained, trying for some hand gesture that must have gotten lost in the all the alcohol and rush of the party because she just ended up clasping her hands together awkwardly.

“You guys are crazy,” Eddie said with a long-suffering shake of his head.

“And you’re crazy about Buck,” Hen said in an it’s-so-obvious whisper.

Eddie drew back. “What?”

“Hen—” Chimney started, a hand on her arm.

She shook him off. “No, I gotta—Eddie, you and Buck are like, perfect for each other. You love him, right?” Her eyes were wide and earnest behind her glasses.

“Of course I do,” Eddie said automatically.

Hen gestured emphatically, whacking Chim on the shoulder like this proved her point.

“Hen,” Eddie said gently. “Did you forget that I’m straight?”

Hen scowled, like she did not want to be reminded of this fact. “Okay, but like—if Buck was a girl, you would have asked him out by now. You’d be like—fucking married by now.”

Eddie opened his mouth to respond, but found his mind stuck on Hen’s words. If Buck was a girl. Him and Buck, married. Eddie felt far drunker than he should be off just one and a half beers.

“Eddie, ignore her,” Chim cut in.

Hen frowned. “I’m going to find Karen,” she declared.

Eddie watched her retreating form, unsticking his tongue from the roof of his mouth. “He’s my best friend,” he said belatedly.

“Eddie.” Chimney kicked his leg. “Ignore her, okay? She’s drunk.”

“Yeah, but—” Eddie started.

“Look,” Chim sighed. “We joke about you and Buck sometimes, okay?”

“You do?” Eddie asked.

“Little stuff,” Chimney assured. “Just, like, you’re each other’s favorite person and you’re missing what’s right in front of you, or whatever.”

Eddie opened his mouth to respond, to refute—what?—but Chim continued.

“But they’re just jokes, okay? We know you’re both straight. I mean, it’d be great if you weren’t, or whatever, but that’s not the world we live in.”

Eddie’s jaw closed with a click. He sipped his beer.

“He’s your best friend.” Eddie looked back to Chimney. “And that’s—” He seemed to search Eddie’s face for a moment. “That’s enough, right?”

Eddie swallows. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Exactly,” Chim agreed with an easy smile. “So, don’t worry about it, okay? She’s just drunk and forgot that we don’t make those jokes in front of you guys.”

Eddie nodded. “Right. Besides, Buck has a girlfriend, and—I have a date on Friday, so…”

“You have a date on Friday?” Chimney exclaimed. “That’s great!”

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed, voice flat.

Chimney clapped him on the forearm, unable to reach his shoulder from his sitting position. “Look, man, you’ll find that perfect girl-version of Buck out there, okay? I believe.”

Eddie chuckled. “Sure.”

He looked out to the party—his eyes immediately found Buck, head thrown back in laughter at something Athena had said. The string lights of the backyard made his styled curls shine with a honey-colored fire, his fingers curled carelessly around the neck of a beer bottle made Eddie’s mouth feel suddenly dry.

Just this. Just you, Eddie thought.

“You’re right,” he said to Chimney with a hollow smile. “I’ll find someone.”

[aceofwhump]

9-1-1 6x18 "Pay It Forward"

[inferno-ontherocks]

9-1-1 Lucy Donato | 5x16 May Day | 6x18 Pay It Forward

[sebbyomg]

🥺✨

[eddiebuckley-diaz]

I want to think that Ravi helps get Eddie out with Hen someone else. Then when Eddie is down on the ground he finally sees that Buck is up above dangling off the edge to get Chim.

Buck harnessed up, back in a serious and dangerous position with Eddie not being able to do anything to ensure Buck stays safe, distraught down below because he doesn’t know if this may be it.

Eddie terrified because what if is the time Buck doesn’t live?

[queerbuckleys]

EDDIE DIAZ in SEASON 6 EPISODE 18 -> pink

[deluweil]

I have burning Buck and Eddie questions,

I mean, I've come to terms with the bad storytelling, the repeated patterns and unfinished, at least in a satisfying way, thoughts displayed on the screen for the entire characters. (Hen's medical adventure, the friction that was between Buck and Chimney, Athena's dad, Bobby and Athena's honey moon (you can't tell me that that frame out of nowhere in the end of the episode said anything, it looked like it slipped in accidentally in editing.) and so many other things that will take me at least two posts to cover.)

But back to my Buck and Eddie questions,

Why?

Why have that couch flirting convo in the beginning of the season?

Why this entire domestic vibe? The fully baked lasagna after three tries? - It was perfect and it was ready and it smelled great.

In parallel to Marina from Station 19, when Maya (this very season) while in therapy, brought Carina a lasagna that gave her food poisoning. Because she was in a hurry when she baked it, that she brought it to Carina before it was ready.

Which, in correct writing world, means Carina and Maya are at a stage they're are not ready to get back together, they need a little more baking (Maya, more time in therapy, and Carina to trust her again) before they are fully baked - ready to get back together.

Buck's lasagna was perfectly cooked! And he served it to Eddie and Christopher.

Is that to say that the lightning strike spoiled Buck? (who apparently is the lasagna in this analogy somehow) and suddenly he's not ready anymore? Maybe he needs one more try before getting with Eddie? but that's beyond three tries - Abby, Ali, Taylor. Death girl makes four, so wth?

Is Marisol representing third try? Shannon, Ana, Marisol. I that what we're waiting for?

Because Eddie seemed ready, after the hospital, after roaming the halls like a ghost until Buck returned to him. - And in full, because they drew so close together after that, to the point that Eddie and Christopher spent their extra time with Buck, in his loft, on the wooden chairs at that wooden table, and none of it seems comfortable, and there's no couch, but Buck was home.

They were comfortable and happy with him.

And he is comfortable with them, happy to have them there.

He couldn't find the peace and quiet and space to heal in his own apartment, it kept getting intruded (I'll circle back to that later) so he found his refuge at Eddie's, he was asleep the second he rested on Eddie's couch, Eddie is home, Eddie is safe.

And the writers made it a glaring point that IT IS Eddie, because Christopher isn't part of the scene, so it's not the second parent here, it's Eddie's partner, his not yet but should be spouse.

In 6x13, we have the glaring parallel between Denny's bio father with Hen and Karen finding out, to Buck being entrusted with Christopher without needing Eddie there to supervise. (going all the way to S3 btw.)

What was that??

Now if it was the only interaction for that episode, I'd chalk that up to fathers and father figures and leave it at that.

But it wasn't - It was preceded by a freakishly domestic scene with all three of them and that POKER DATE - Because it was a date and you can't tell me otherwise.

Both unbelievably dressed up, Eddie looking at Buck like he's his entire world, like he's the only one in that room!

And he timed the exact time down to the second (like Chimney timed the time it would take help to arrive if Maddie gave birth at home and something went wrong) that Buck was dead. - The exact time Buck left Eddie, broken hearted, not breathing, looking like someone ripped his heart out and wheeled it away with Buck.

And Buck looked just as smitten in that poker game, he was having a good time, and seemed completely in awe of this new piece of information about Eddie.

He also glances back a bit in Eddie's direction when he says the exact time Buck was dead, if they were alone, would Buck have asked him or tell him like Maddie told Chimney? "You timed it." - Because that was the essence of that look.

What was the point of that episode??? - It cemented the Buckley-Diaz family so hard, that it was so hard to ignore.

But Eddie says in that episode, when the three were sitting together and he went full-Buck on the research of the side effects of lightning strikes victims. - He says that there was a guy who was struck by lightning and "the lights would turn on and off every time he walked into a room."

Which is the definition of how Eddie sees Buck, especially now after he died and came back and let them drew him closer to the Diaz boys.

But Eddie also said "But it didn't last." - "Only lasted a few weeks."

A few weeks, until Buck met Natalia - who "sees" him.

In between, we have Pepa trying to set Eddie up, but (aside from the fact that Buck's reaction was to ghost her) he wanted to let Venessa down easy, but she beat him to it.

When he says "You don't want to break abuela's heart."

She answers, "Or mine. You understand."

And he did, he does understand. And he was content to move on from there, thinking he wasn't alone, until the funeral scene and then the cemetery where Buck snuffs completely that light he brought with him and tells Eddie that Natalia "sees" him, better than anyone, better than himself.

Was that the writers way to tell us that it was pining Eddie era? that Buck is in crisis?

Because after Eddie was shot he got together pretty immediately with Taylor, after Eddie left he kissed Lucy, now he's dating Natalia after almost dying? A death doula? talk about morbid.

What was the point of that romance? If you can call it that?

In between we have wedding talks, and smores, and Christopher falling asleep on the couch while Eddie goes to get some smores in perfect imitation of Buck, and buddie sitting impossibly closer in the truck while talking about proposals and that damned camera moving to Eddie and Buck when Bobby says "It means you two were meant to be." - Like WTF?

Also, Why would we like Natalia for Buck if her reaction to learning about his life is to walk away as fast as her legs would take her??

And remember when I talked about intruding in the beginning (in connection to 6x12)? Well here we are again.

We have at first Cameron barging in (like Connor, in 6x12) and load all her problems with the other problem child in her life and then in 6x18, Buck leaves the door open for the paramedics, but Natalia barges in through the doors, and then also goes as far as asking if they shouldn't wait for the professionals, either forgetting Buck is a firefighter and is trained for it or doubting him even before they started something together, instead of asking him "have you done this before?" or "Do you know what you're doing?"

That would have gone over way better than looking for outside help inside someone else's apartment who gives you clear instructions of how you can help, it's pretty obvious that he at least half knows what he's doing.

And what the hell was it that made him ask the woman who not, say around three hours ago? came back into his life after leaving him to his mess (Ana, anyone?), to pick out a couch with him?? like wtf?

Like what was the point of it?

Now that I've covered Buck, I'm back to heartbroken Eddie, and don't tell me he wasn't on some level. That look he gave Buck at the cemetery, tells a long and painful story, the one where the bottom line is that he is not enough.

For the first time, in a really long time, Eddie is not enough to the one person who made him feel like he's everything.

Buck saved his life more than once, he SAT with him when he was going through A HARD TIME! (bathena parallels - scream with me!)

What is happening?

In complete rehearse of S4 - Eddie is going for help to everyone but Buck.

This time, it takes the shape of Bobby, on that father in-law, trip to the hardware store, where Bobby gives Eddie the right answer, but Eddie is not ready, not willing or doesn't think it will help to accept it.

Because that person that Bobby was paralleling to Athena ( in a vague way, of course) is Buck, and Eddie knows that too. - He says "So you definitely weren't looking for it." Eddie didn't look for Buck, he found him, he made Buck like him, made him his friend, his co-parent, his pretty much everything.

Because without Buck, Eddie has always floundered, looking for some anchor in the dark, whichever form it may come. - And while Ana came out of nowhere and Eddie was not yet aware of the potential of him and Buck and was stuck in the heteronormative narrative of a "Boy needs his momma" concept, he's well aware now.

Without Buck to steady him, he clings to the next person, who is "right in front" of him, and that is Marisol. It doesn't make her right for him, it just makes her there.

Now, how in the hell did they exchange numbers but talked for the first time weeks after everyone healed (except for Buck, somehow, lol), when in 6x17 Eddie was walking away, is beyond me, maybe telepathically. 🤷‍♂️ - And that "Like a date?" - that awkward first conversation is incomprehensible to me, you've talked, you've exchanged numbers, why does it feel like it's the first time?

Also that rescue in 6x18, I have a lot of medical and procedural questions about that half baked (like Maya's lasagna) scene, but what bugged me the most, was the lack of emotion.

Buck's entire family was in danger, and Buck is being entirely too cold about it? No. Buck wears his heart on his sleeve.

So where is the checking on Eddie as soon as possible, just to make sure he's breathing normally? Where's the hovering over Bobby?

Or going in the ambulance with Chimney? Or calling his sister? Why is Athena the one handling Eddie so gently, but not his best friend?

Where is the emotion? In season 1 Buck said he didn't want to be that red eyed robot, he wanted to be able to feel everything, where did that go? Has Buck resorted to working with his head instead of his heart? Is that the reverting back to Buck 1.0? Not because Buck 1.0 didn't feel anything, it's that he didn't want to get close to anyone who could leave him.

Is that what it is? Because the only real emotion Oliver gave us for that episode, was when held Buck's baby for that split second then handed him to Cameron. - There, and gone.

Now both JLH and Oliver stark are masters at making people FEEL things, tear up with them, why not here? What was the mechanics behind that emergency?

It wasn't interim captain Buck - that was Hen ("Hen that's you"), So what was that??

I have so many question, a lot of WHY, and WHAT, and WTF?? and a variety of WH questions. My mind is a confused mess, if buddie is nonexistent, explain this to me.

Go back to that gut wrenching scene in 2x08 (BUCK ACTUALLY) and make that journey with me up to those confusing 15 minutes of 6x18. - And explain this to me in a way that doesn't sound like stubborn blindness among other things, how buddie is only in our heads?!

If you've managed to get this far, thank you.

Sorry if I insulted someone but seriously this is driving me crazy.

Sending comforting hugs to this beautiful and nutty fandom 🤗❤

[meep-meep-richie]

“ There will be a new couch. And the new couch might be in some danger before the season is over.”

[evanbukley]

Endless Buck: (41/?) » “The moment his heart break into pieces” 

[neverevan]

EVAN BUCKLEY + kisses 13/?

[sherlocking-out-loud]

has Eddie broken his arm??? maybe?? then he won't be able to drive or cook... he'll need help with Chris.......

THIS IS HOW BUDDIE ROOMMATES ERA CAN STILL WIN!!!

[buddiedaydreamer911]

i still think about how during 6x18 at the bridge collapse, when buck get eddie out of the van and they had a second to take a breath- eddie started to get closer to buck to lean on him while hurting. but then they got called away before eddie could get closer to buck. i was so mad that they didn’t get called a second later.

not that i want buck or eddie (or anyone else from the show) to get hurt, but i would love to see them allow a hurt buck or a hurt eddie lean on the other in redemption for 6x18. i think we deserve that.