#A LOT OF MY NEEDS! ARE VERY LOW! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sirompp · 1 year

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you think your life is hard? well IM an EXTROVERT and i HAVENT SEEN ANY OF MY FRIENDS OR JUST RANDOM OTHER PEOPLE in THREE WEEKS!!!

#and im gonna BITE SOMEONE ABOUT IT #going to TACKLE MY FRIENDS AMERICAN FOOTBALL STYLE and BREAK ALL THEIR RIBS when i get home!!!#in the meantime ill. idk. rip off both my arms #tie them to a doorknob and slam the door #dude i am NOT well rn #it does not help that the room ive been staying in is like a fucking. insane asylum room #zero furniture or decorations just my bed and a dinky little table and chair for my computer #i didnt even think to bring any plushies. fuck my life #i mean. i do have A plushie now. thanks to my mom getting me one #worst part is i havent done any schoolwork while out here (because im just. actually miserable)#and. can i reiterate for a second. ITS BEEN THREE WEEKS #and i was ALREADY SEVERAL WEEKS BEHIND?#BEFORE I LEFT?#KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL #oh and i also um. havent been drinking. Any water out here : )#because 1 the tap water is not drinkable and 2 the fridges water filter pours at about. three drops per second #!?!1??!!?!??!?!?!?!SORRY IM BEING SO COMPLAINY #I JUST. HAVE A LOT OF THINGS WRONG WITH ME RN #A LOT OF MY NEEDS! ARE VERY LOW!

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thedreadvampy · 3 months

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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

#red said #recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis #like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes #and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not #for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening #i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine #as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital #as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin #ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes #some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am #bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me #like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD #there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife #but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't #tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us #like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well #i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point #anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also #been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them #i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it #most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables #honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk #is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry

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mythtiide · 9 months

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its new years and my drawing ability has just completely exploded .. but we ball anyways

#signalis #its just me and my ugly sketches against the world..#anyways #remember when i said i was gonna draw the ‘intresting and peculiar’ tweet as falkeler #?#well now it exists #very low effort i just needed it down on paper it wouldnt stop haunting me #i do really like the way i drew falkes expression here #something that i struggle a lot with is drawing different expressions … i really need to work on that tbh #a disheveled looking falke #falke tonking two plushies of her and adler together #theyre kissing :D #dragon adler for the new year (cause its the year of the dragon)#and a knight falke who was supposed to go with the silly vibe of adlers onsie but just ended up being a real knight #LOL #IDK maybe ill make a fantsy au put of it who knows #anyways thays it for meow #myth.sketches #myth.art #suggestive

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thefabelmans2022 · 4 months

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did you ever notice how merry doesn't actually volunteer for the quest? pippin is the one who assumes he and merry will go, gandalf vouches for them both, but merry doesn't say a word for the entire encounter. it's a stark difference from his insistence on going with frodo in the conspiracy chapter, and i think it's because he's totally lost his confidence. in the beginning, he's very confident and fully believes he'll be able to lead the group through the old forest to bree with no trouble, and then they all almost die twice basically immediately. notice that when they get to bree, he refuses to go to the prancing pony with the others, deciding instead to stay in their room alone? and then of course he gets attacked by nazgul, which definitely doesn't help matters. i think by the time they get to Rivendell, he no longer believes himself capable of helping frodo. he'll do it, obviously, if frodo or gandalf or elrond or pippin ask him to, but i think he's at a point where he no longer believes he'll be any good.

#lotr #i've been trying to write this since the day i got admitted to hospital (over a week ago) bc it is a deeply held conviction i have #that i've never really seen anyone else talk about? to the point where tolkien prof corey olsen says merry doesn't have a crisis of #confidence until AFTER pippin in the chapter with the wolves and i disagree so so strongly #he does a lot of 'hm interesting that merry doesn't want to hang out with the others in bree. interesting that he doesn't volunteer for the #quest.' and i'm like dude!! the crisis of confidence has already happened!! you missed it my guy!!!!!#it's one of those things where like. we all know merry's arc is about confidence so you assume he already has low confidence but no!#he's VERY confident! he founds the conspiracy bc he believes frodo needs his specific skills to be successful! he believes in himself!!#and it's not until his plans almost get them killed that he has this crisis. anyway.#lotr meta #merry brandybuck

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gorespawn · 4 months

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also while we're here i would like to share the two iterations of tumblr user gorespawn that have existed since i abandoned this blog back in like early 2021. Who wants me

#i grew my hair out so i could twirl my hair while giggling about bald men #and also t.o.p of bigbang #and short men i see at the grocery store who honestly make me feel light-headed with raw and unbridled Want #but that's just a joke. i am. Lesbian #''no ur not'' I AM #anyway i used to be so ripped and hunky but now i am frail and sickly #what getting a job can do to a mf #thankfully i quit my job last week YIPPIIIEEEEEEE so now i will work towards becoming an absolute hunk again #wish me luck #ALSO #if anyone is obsessed with me and remembers all my lore i used to be transgender and i still am like lowkey on the down low #but in a new exciting way #anyway i used to be a gay man and then a stone butch dyke (as seen above) but now im practicing being a girl #it is very difficult but it is also fun. ive never been a girl before so it's a lot #anyway i bought two super cool sexy dresses yesterday for the first time ever in my life #sexy dresses meaning up to my neck and down to my feet and past my elbows. kind of like a wardrobe straight out of the handmaid's tale #from (to quote my friend) ''*The* old lady store'' thanks man. well i think theyre pretty and its v exciting bc ive never been a girl befor #anyway #who wants me #i still use the name emil online btw and i honestly always will i think it's just so me and also i do still answer to he/him dw #in a man way not in a he/him lesbian way #''he's LGBTQA+'' what. all at once?#yes.#i have mastered them all i have collected all the genders and all the sexualities and ive never been ''wrong''#it just keeps switching. which is fine. well im a girl now. in a detransitioning man way. who is insanely attracted to men #but you will have to tear this lesbian label out of my cold dead hands #''you can't call urself lesbian if u have sex w men'' well first of all fuck you and second of all i am celibate so you dont need to worry #''what the hell are you talking about'' nothing. now look how hot i am #im just joking around i hope that's fine w y'all

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tj-crochets · 7 months

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Went to the doctor just for a check up and he basically just told me "your body just processes sugar very well! :) :) :) It's a good thing! :) :) :) It can't possibly be the source of your symptoms even though eating fixes it :) :) :)" But there was also a moment when talking about my iron deficiency that is possibly one of the funniest things a doctor has ever said to me, up with the cardiologist who said "you're a medical mystery": He was going over my blood test results, and said "Your iron levels haven't gone up at all, they are still extremely low, but you're not anemic anymore" And I was like how am I not anemic anymore??? And he said "Your hemoglobin levels have gone up...somehow..." while frowning at the blood test results on his computer. It was very "somehow, palpatine has returned" lol

#the person behind the yarn #medical mention #food mention #he did at one point say the iron issue is probably an absorption issue #which. give this is either my third or my sixth absorption issue (depending on if you count electrolytes)#I'm not exactly surprised but I'm also not thrilled #at some point it stops being 'your body is very good at processing' and starts being #'your body just yeets all nutrients out of it!'#I am on two different medications to make me retain salt more #like. one that is 100% the entire reason I take that med #one that that's a side effect of that med strong enough they thought I shouldn't take both together #until they did bloodwork to check (and found it was appropriate to take both)#and I STILL need a RIDICULOUS amount of salt #and sometimes! even with two different meds and like four different kinds of salt pills! I straight up do not retain salt!#I get super dehydrated and cannot fix it for days!#and I am more tired of it than I perhaps realized #just real tired of doctors going 'your body is just so efficient at processing :) :) :)'#I am already doing all the low blood sugar things. smaller more frequent meals lots of protein lots of complex carbs #not looking for advice just wanted to share the 'somehow...your hemoglobin has gone up'#because I do genuinely find that really funny

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crimeronan · 1 year

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the more loved i am and the more i love people on purpose, the more comfortable i get with who i am. i think this is a natural product of getting older as well, you kinda settle into your skin and figure out what you want and how to go after it. the funny part about doing this for me is that like.... i don't feel things like other people do. i just don't. i have a pathological need for attention and i don't form attachments the same way that others do and i break connections very easily and i don't feel guilty about stuff. i do recognize when i'm WRONG and i change my behavior and/or my viewpoints when they're harmful and i actively work to combat my most maladaptive bullshit, so sometimes it's like.

i dunno. the whole stereotype of the self-aggrandizing sociopath who thinks they're above everything is boring, but sometimes it feels like there's something to it. like i'll see sensationalized explanations of 'narcissism' and 'sociopathy' that are like "these people can just choose not to care about stuff," and i'm like....

....yeah??

So The Fuck Can You.

in fact, you do. CONSTANTLY. by telling yourself that the real life living breathing human being asking for change on the street is a scammer, or a predator, or unpleasant, or too sick, or too strung-out, or otherwise too Other and inhuman to help. you only reserve your so-called "intrinsic empathy" for people that you relate to, and you turn it off when it gets uncomfortable.

i know exactly where i'm spending my emotional energy and who i'm spending it on. when i don't spend my emotional energy on someone, it's not because they're an unperson to me. it's because i simply don't wanna put my emotional energy there.

you guys could learn a thing or two about doing this. like. i know why i am how i am. what the fuck is YOUR excuse????

#i had a Debilitating dissociative disorder when i was younger bc i'd partitioned off the defensive me with no empathy versus #the Good (TM) me who Cares #and the older i get the more i'm like. i don't actually need to overextend myself and pretend i feel things i dont to be a good person.#in fact i hurt a LOT of people by pretending to have more energy than i did and then letting them down when they depended upon me #i'm largely very friendly and open and excited and accommodating and that's not a LIE that really is my personality #but it's also a performance to a point. this is closer to what i sound like when i'm not trying to be likable.#idk what to tag this. low empathy people are literally fine actually.

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dreamaze · 4 months

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ONEWE ⟡ '천체 (COSMOS)' TongTong Culture performance excerpt (tr.)

#i truly cannot describe how much i love this song (it has always been one of my favorites of theirs)#or how bonkers it as a whole makes me or specifically giuk's part or even MORE specifically the transition+downbeat into/of his part #& it's extra special to me in this performance with yonghoon's harmonizing very very very delicately floating above #idk just. obviously i am biased because i love giuk's voice #but i also deeply appreciate how they make space for it (& that absolutely cannot be said for all groups with low vocalists)#not everyone in a group needs to be a Big Tenor i think quite frankly the contrast is needed in (or greatly benefits) a multi-singer group #& in the case of onewe i believe his timbre is an integral part of their musical fabric #anyway thanks for tuning in to another #wings bari agenda #wings.edits #wings.video #foronewe #music box #onewe #dongmyeong #yonghoon #giuk #p.s. lyrics from genius bc i've compared multiple translations & i'm quite positive rbw's version is missing things/simplified them a lot..

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thefrogdalorian · 7 months

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Spent my day working on some more art and obviously I had to draw Din 🤍 Now complete with a shiny new paint pen (I may have gotten a bit high off the fumes sgkjkds) so I can do our shiny space cowboy justice 🥹

Pleased with how these turned out especially after a few months away from creating any art! It felt so good to just sit down and let my mind focus on the page rather than other things.

(I used a combination of paint pens, charcoal pencils for the drawings and blended oil pastels for the backgrounds.)

#mandalorian fanart #my art #din djarin fanart #my neck and back ache now but it was worth it and honestly when you feel low there is no substitute for taking time away from screens and #creating things with your hands!!! i need to do that more often.#i create a lot of things online i guess but it's very nice to have something tangible heheh #im proud of the bottom one especially!! i might add the mudhorn tomorrow when the paint is fully dry 🥺#the cropping on these is as straight as me dear lord but im too tired to fix it SORRY

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red-dyed-sarumane · 8 months

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i need people to start paying me for every time they tell me "oh but ur arts so good ur wasting ur talent u need to do it professionally" wrong i need to do art to draw beautiful characters that not a single other person cares about while feeding every ounce of love i have into my work or to convey thoughts & feelings beyond words and to even think of doing otherwise is to deny my own nature "oh but u can do what u want and then sell it" why is everything about money to you why cant u just enjoy things at what point in ur life did u forget how to have fun

#i hate that this stance is also seen as childish #like i have a full time job & often have mandatory overtime i have income already #if u need to to make ends meet then thats different do what u can to help urself live as comfortably as possible #but holy fuck pleasure as an adult is not limited to sex & money & watching tv #besides u know not a single one of the people who say this are willing to actually pay what the arts worth #its like 'well not me but other people would love it!' yeah okay u know a lot of other people are going to see the #over $100 price tag and go 'i like it but not that much! other people however' like just shut up. honestly. be quiet.#if i speed ran my art and low balled myself to a $15/hour rate the lowest would still be like $120 #which is not worth it AT ALL bc i just paid MORE to sit on my ass & look at eggs #and. again. is underselling myself for both experience & time. but people think $80 full body comms are too expensive #do u think im so stupid to not expect to get scammed when even 'easy' things are over $100 #but no ur right why would i have fun with something when i could instead cause myself infinite stress over it perfect thanks #do not give me advice about doing comms i do not want to do comms #if u see me doing comms im in a very dire situation. like thats a last resort for me.

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necrotic-nephilim · 20 days

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hi hello i think im in love with ur brain, thank you for being on the internet

hello!! aaaaa this is SO sweet thank you so much anon you're too nice to me. i am so terrified of existing on the internet with my thoughts and opinions especially about DC stuff, so this is very reassuring of you to say. so thank you for caring about the things that come out of my brain <3

#necrotic answerings #kindly praise #i'm glad one of us is in love with my brain #i'm usually fistfighting the poor bastard.#it never obeys.#but seriously tho i'm so blessed that like. ppl have been *so* kind to me since starting this blog #i was rlly worried about not getting any traction on anything i posted #or ppl being rude and arguing bc my opinions can be particular #but i've had none of that. like i've even had far less antis than i expected to get #i've dealt with three in total so far? which like seems very low considering what it could be #and only once did someone try to correct me and they were super kind when i pointed out they were wrong #so all in all i've bene having a good go on here #course now i've gone and jinxed it probably #but this was so sweet anon i'm soft. gonna go scream #truly needed this rn bc i'm dealing with a lot of big boy real world stuff off of tumblr so like #it's nice to have this as a haven outside of that

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cold-neon-ocean · 9 months

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I don't usually do these but I felt like I drew so little this year I was curious to see if I could fill one lol. It was a rough year I'm hoping next year is better, I want to dedicate more time to personal art and improvement.

#Neon Ocean Art #Art of 2023 #[ I'm actually rather surprised I managed to full this lol #I hit a lot of mental lows this year regarding art #this was also the year I had to mostly set art aside for a day job #which really wasn't easy #I'd felt like I failed in some way being unable to support myself on art like some of my peers #but I drew some of my all time favorite art pieces this year and that I'm very proud of #next year I really want to focus on personal art and stuff I wanna draw #as well as improving my skills as I usually feel rather dissatisfied with my work #I'm glad I no longer need to rely on art for my income so i'm hoping that freedom will give me room to grow more ]

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starcrossedjedis · 15 days

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I see a lot of smack talk from the younglings about the "Sad Beige Millenial Aesthetic" - and while I agree that some Youtube Mums should get prison time for doing their kids' nurseries that way, I cannot stress enough the calming effect this aesthetic has on my "undiagnosed for 39yrs" ADHD brain.

Let me have my stark white Ikea furniture and my muddy coloured accessories, it helps me get the laundry folded before my kids outgrow it 🙈

#honestly #the amount of sensory overwhelmed I have thrown out when I went for Sad Millenial in the up stairs of our home #our downstairs - kitchen and living slash dining room are super colourful #with fun rugs and all that shizz #but those rooms are MASSIVE #they need the colour and the fun shit lest they look like a hospital waiting area #but the upstairs is three bedroom a walk in closer and the big bath #plus slanted walls #because the roof goes low #so all the rooms are a lot smaller with very little wall space to put furniture #they'd just look cluttered that way #which they did #I still have before and after pictures of when we did the kids' rooms #as I told my husband #since I do the Lion's share of ending this house I get to decide how it's made #I wouldn't get anything he hates #but eg when he said he doesn't need a bedside lamp I told him tough luck the big light is evil 🤷🏻‍♀️😅

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burinazar · 7 months

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:( patheticposting

nearly literally reduced to tears rn by how overwhelmingly it feels like nobody cares what I make or like or think about and how meaningless any of my creativity and love and effort is

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sciderman · 10 months

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so spotify wrapped came in and candyman is my most listened to song of the year and it's solely because of the spideycablepool fic (i listened to it en loope while writing it)

youtube

#song of the day #the candy man can................#tunes #i swear there were consecutive days where this was the Only Song I listened to. i listened to it at the office and.#my headphones are very loud. so my coworkers knew i was just listening to candyman. all day.#without stop.#i'm like this in december. wham's last christmas is the only song i'm legally allowed to listen to in december.#the only reason wham's last christmas is not my most listened song is because it is not december yet.#wham's last christmas is my most listened song on spotify in general.#i'm listening to candyman en loope again. it's so good. serotonin.#deserved. deserved.#god. i love the spideycablepool playlist. it's so sugary sweet.#you know what. i need to reread that fic and listen to the playlist. draw some more art. that fic was my high point of the year.#i mean other than the wonderful american roadtrip... and coney island... and dollywood.... and my frieiieeendnnsnsnsnss....#this year was a really good year actually. like a really really good year. i feel low right now but this year was a really good year.#a lot of things changed for me. a lot of things. some good some bad. but a lot of change.#i feel like i'm a little bit closer to being a fully developed human. a little bit.#baby steps. baby steps.#i'm a lot more intelligent about my brain. i've figured out a lot this year.#proud of you sci.#kissing me on the forehead.#Youtube

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aliosne · 2 months

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Everybody check out the gr8 hat I got yesterday

#I got rid of a bunch of games and equipment when I emptied the storage box #and I need a hat that’s not Enormous and can get chucked in a bag #so I got a cap from the gaming store #I was initially really :/// bc it was a lot of like. Nintendo nostalgia which isn’t my thing #and a fun review of various low- or high-key fascist anime 🤪🤪🤪#and I was about to give up when my eyes Alighted upon it #can’t wait for dunmeshi merch to start appearing over here #anyway I look Very Cool today in my purple skull tights rainbow dnd shirt and this hat

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