#AND IN THE LAST EPISODE HE FINALLY ACCEPTS HIMSELF AS A PHYSIC

[mac33cheese]

"Tdlosk doesn't have any meaningfulness to it? It's all gags-" YOU MISSED IT!! YOU WERE SO CLOSE!! UR EYES WE'RE CLOSED DURING THE PLAY!! THE QUESTION WAS 2+2 AND YOU ANSWERED 5!! YOU HAD 3 SEASONS AND A REAWAKENED TO STUDY YET YOU STILL FAILED THE CLASS!! THE BED WAS MADE FOR YOU AND YOU STILL SLEPT ON THE FLOOR!! YOU DON'T EVEN NEED GLASSES YET YOU STILL CAN'T SEE THE MENU!!

[regencyromantical]

The juxtaposition of David and Joel in this last episode is just so good.

David calling himself a "father" - wanting to insert himself as a father figure in a way that is completely gross and taints the innocent relationship between a girl and her father. He sees fatherhood as a means of control, as a way to further his own sick fantasies.

Then we have Joel. Who actively pushes away the role of father because he's so scared he won't be able to protect Ellie. He's so scared he won't be a good father that he doesn't want her to view him as a figure to look up to because he doesn't believe he will live up to it. His love for her is pure and innocent and healing.

Ellie killing David and running into Joel's arms is SO IMPORTANT. Joel finally accepting Ellie as his daughter, accepting that she chooses him as her protector. Despite the fact that she's proven she is capable of taking care of herself physically, but emotionally relying on Joel? One of the best moments in television history in my opinion.

[rel312]

God that scene in the last episode was just…

The way Charlie physically closes himself off and Nick sits at his level and gently pulls him back open again

The way Nick literally holds Charlie’s hand through the conversation

The way Charlie allows himself to trust Nick

The way Nick looks so heartbroken that anybody made Charlie feel bad about himself

The way Charlie makes the decision to tell Nick about his SH

The way Nick realizes there’s even more going on than just Charlie’s ED and braces himself to hear it

The way Charlie allows himself to admit his feelings and acknowledge that he doesn’t deserve to feel like that anymore

The way Nick can’t help but hug him

The way Charlie grabs him back and buries his face in Nick’s neck

The way Nick is trying not to cry/be strong for Charlie

The way Nick’s head falls in relief when Charlie said he doesn’t hurt himself anymore

The way Nick won’t allow Charlie to be sorry for this

The way Nick doesn’t put him down or tell him not to do it again, but instead makes Charlie promise to tell him if it gets that bad again

The way Charlie still thinks he’s a burden

The way Nick looks so sad that Charlie would think that of himself

The way Nick gently reassures him that he could never see Charlie as broken or a burden

The way Nick is showing how strong he thinks Charlie is

The way Nick wants to be Charlie’s rock because that’s what Charlie is to him

The way Nick is struggling not to cry

The way Charlie finally accepts that Nick really just wants to help him

The way Nick cradles Charlie’s face

The way it looks like he’s going in for a kiss but is actually going to the forehead for the most tender kiss

The way he immediately goes to rest their foreheads together, just exuding ultimate comfort

The way he goes in for a sweet kiss

The way he’s almost ready to say “I love you” but is interrupted

The way he knows it’s not the right moment

The way Charlie knows anyway

The way Charlie looks like he can’t believe any of this is happening to him, that it’s real, that someone loves him

The long, slow, sweet kiss goodbye

The way neither of them want to leave each other

The way Charlie lingers in the driveway

The way Nick takes a deep breath and lets himself really feel everything once Charlie’s gone

The way Charlie is ready to say “I love you” back

Joe and Kit acted their asses off for this and I’m so so proud of them

[burst-of-iridescent]

Hey does everyone remember when Aang physically hurt Katara via burning her due to his own negligence with fire because he didn't listen at all to her concerns? But all of Katara's concerns were her being worried for him getting hurt and not herself, and then he hurts her badly, this never gets addressed again in the show, but I remember this vividly.

i actually like this scene on its own.

aang burning katara is a good character building moment because it's a brutal reminder of his own capacity for destruction. he needs to understand that his reckless actions can have horrific repercussions in order to fully realize the weight of his responsibility as both a firebender and the avatar, and it makes the moment where he uses zhao's recklessness against him more impactful. it also sets up the "water = life, fire = death" dichotomy that's part of katara's arc on viewing the world in binaries, which will later be broken down in book 3.

but ultimately the incident is still of greater significance to aang, and he's the one to bring it up in the guru and western air temple episodes, telling both guru pathik and zuko about his guilt over burning katara and his refusal to firebend ever again. this experience is also what leads him to accept zuko as his firebending teacher, and then finally forgive himself when he learns the true meaning of firebending. for the most part, it's a well-sustained arc and one of the few narratives aang has that is actually brought to completion.

do i wish that katara and aang had actually talked about his actions beyond this episode? yes. do i wish the aftermath had been focused a little more on katara instead of showcasing the impact of her physical injuries mostly through aang's continued self-flagellation? yes. but as a one-off incident contained to a single episode, i don't mind it.

what i do mind, however, is that this is not the last time the show is going to use katara as a lynchpin for aang's character development.

in the book 2 premiere, katara is turned into a pawn to propel aang into the avatar state. in the guru, her imprisonment is the reason that aang chooses to go back to ba sing se instead of unlocking his chakras. that is three separate times now that katara has been damselled in order to facilitate key turning points in aang's narrative, but not once does the same apply in reverse. there is never a moment where aang is the only one put in danger solely to drive katara's arc, the way she is in his. the closest we get is katara bringing aang back to life, but even then his death is still the result of his own choices and more integral to his storyline than hers.

now, compare this to the final agni kai.

at first glance, katara being put in danger just to complete zuko's redemption looks like the same tired trope, and had the scene ended at his sacrifice, it would be. but crucially, it's katara who continues the fight. katara who defeats the scion of fire nation destruction at the height of her power. katara who saves zuko just as he saved her.

in proving herself a master waterbender powerful enough to defeat azula and save someone she loves - someone who sacrificed themselves for her - from fire nation aggression, katara brings her own arc full circle. it is in triumphing over azula by saving each other that zuko and katara become the people they were always meant to be, and so their individual arcs are brought to their narrative culmination through bookending the other. the final agni kai works where the kat.aang moments fall short because it is of equal significance to both zuko and katara's narratives.

obviously, this is not to say that it's bad for certain characters to exist just to drive another character's arc. it's inevitable that some will be written solely to fulfill that purpose because a story only has so much narrative space, and it usually can't - and shouldn't - be divided equally amongst every single character.

but if we're talking about two main characters who end up in a lifelong romantic relationship, and it's the female character being repeatedly damselled to drive the male character's storyline within an already imbalanced dynamic... perhaps it's time to rethink a few things.

[shantechni]

Leo the Leader vs Leo the Learner

I know almost every iteration of TMNT emphasizes that the boys cannot properly function as a team without everyone there, especially without their fearless leader.

In terms of cartoons and movies though (as much as I've had time to watch/rewatch), the '03 and '12 series are my personal favorites, with Rise and MM tying for a very close second, because they both acknowledge issues in the team that the characters work to fix. '03 Leo and '12 Leo both struggle to lead the team at significant points in their respective stories, but the manner in which they struggle and what they struggle with differentiate, in a good way mind you.

In the 2003 series, the very first episode opens with Leo already being in the leading position as he tries to keep his brothers from going off script or doing something irreparable while they work to find Splinter. And when they do eventually find themselves in trouble, he's the one to lead them through it and make it back to Splinter in one piece. We see this formula more or less repeat for almost three seasons with a few different variables to spice things up; the brothers look to Leo for guidance, think of a plan of action with their combined efforts, and go from there.

Until the S3 finale.

The boys had times where they wondered if they'd make it out alive, but this was the first where it genuinely seemed like the end for their little family, and Leo could do nothing but watch as they execute their plan to blow up with the starship.

Of course they survive, otherwise we wouldn't have another four seasons💀but that short amount of time was more than enough to scar Leo, physically and emotionally. When he begins closing himself off from everyone, April's the only one to get him to open up and he lays it all out: He feels like a failure of a leader. He wasn't strong enough to protect his family or stop the Shredder, their last resort was going out with a bang, and they had to be saved by the Utroms. It doesn't feel like they won and he doesn't feel like he accomplished anything.

His fears and frustrations manifest into an ever present anger, slowly going from cold to hot, that chooses its target at random. His brothers don't know what to do since they don't seem to know why Leo's behaving this way, nor have they ever seen him like this. And dear Mikey says something that so accurately sums up their team: "...it can’t be fun always being the responsible one, and we’re the ones who really benefit. Raph’s free to not think ‘cause Leo does all the thinking for him. Don’s free to dream, and I’m free to take it easy, all ‘cause Leonardo is busy being responsible enough for all of us."

Mikey knows Leo is cracking under the pressure of his role partly because they've become so comfortable in their own roles, and no one refutes him. They didn't intend for Leo to translate this dynamic into, "everything is on you," but that's how it inevitably turned out over time. One could even argue that them not knowing how to handle this new Leonardo is yet another downside to them getting too comfortable, and it doesn't help that Splinter is the only one (aside from Usagi on one instance) who attempts to help Leo, even when the young turtle is pushing him away.

Things finally boil over when Leo pushes a little too hard though and harms Splinter during training, a regrettable action that clears away the steely air he had around himself for so long.

It's not until Splinter sends him off to see the Ancient One that Leo finally pulls himself out of that bubble of negativity and he accepts that there was nothing more he could've done in their final fight against the Shredder.

He did all that he could, and he can continue doing all that he can for his family.

In a weird way, Karai's violent eviction notice was exactly what everyone needed.

Leo was told his family likely hadn't survived the attack, something he'd spent countless days trying to prevent through relentless training, but he believed they were okay and ultimately found them alive. He wasn't there to protect them, but he sees for himself that they made it out without his help, and this was also a learning experience for the others if you think about it. They've already been shown to be capable of handling situations on their own or in pairs, but this was the first time they had to deal with a huge confrontation as a team without the comfort of their leader behind their shells.

Raph is the one who takes the helm for a brief few seconds and dishes out instructions amid the chaos, telling everyone to split up, find their way out and meet back up on the surface, with one last demand for them to be careful. And when Leo finds him, his distress is palpable; he couldn't find the others and therefore had no idea if they were okay, let alone alive, while he kept himself hidden from Karai's forces. Before this, we see that Raph is willing to make his own plan of action in this series' version of City at War when he doesn't go with Leo's word. But this time, in Leo's absence, we see he's willing to fill in as leader when the situation calls for it, and he realizes he isn't quite cut out for leadership like Leo.

We don't see any significant shift in team dynamics after this, mainly because Leo's inner turmoil from their fight with the Shredder is what caused problems with the team in the first place, but that goes to show that outside influences are what gave birth to the team conflict. Despite me pointing out earlier how Leo shoulders quite a bit not just because of his role but because of his brothers' roles as well, we can see throughout the series that Leo doesn't buckle from the pressure until they're in a situation where he can't effectively perform his role to his satisfaction.

As I mentioned in the beginning, Leo had been a leader in essence and in name for many years before their first home was raided by the Mousers. It makes perfect sense for him and his brothers to be accustomed to it by now.

2012 Leonardo is not used to being a leader. He may undeniably be a leader in essence, and had the drive and desire to be one, but he definitely wasn't a leader in name. The very first episode doesn't even open up with Leo being a leader, let alone with the turtles being a team. Their first time fighting together is a train wreck, and rather than Leo's strong sense of ethics and honor being the catalyst for his recruitment (not at first at least), it's the beginning of their long battle against the Kraang that convinces Splinter to officially deem him the leader of a newly formed team.

Being leader doesn't automatically mean the team will follow or respect you, which is something Leo learns right away thanks to his brothers, with Raph in particular challenging him when they butt heads over their opposing plans and ideals. It's touched upon in Rise of the Turtles Part 2, but Raph's desire to lead isn't a major plot device until New Girl in Town where he gets a taste of how Leo feels everytime he's responsible for his brothers and their wellbeing. However, Raph makes it known that even though he's resigned himself to not being the leader, he still doesn't like being told what or how to do something. Even Donnie challenges Leo when they can't agree on the best course of action in preparation for the Kraang, but Donnie realizes arguing was pointless as the invasion begins without warning and makes the idea of a second base the more favorable option.

His brothers aren't his only test of will though, as there are a handful of times where Leo questions his ability to lead and wonders if Splinter chose the right turtle for the job. Throughout all of that though, the boys ultimately rely on Leo and follow his lead when all is said and done.

Where this Leo truly differs from '03 Leo is that he not only struggles with leading a team that isn't so keen on being led, but he also struggles to grasp that he leads a team.

There are many times in the series where Leo runs off on his own or makes the decision to tackle something himself rather than with help, and that's not out of the norm, especially in comparison to his own brothers and '03 Leo. The problem is that '12 Leo's solo decision making more often than not leads to trouble (we all know the tale of him trying to turn Karai to the good side without informing the team about her). One of the first major examples of this though was in the S1 finale when he takes Splinter's words a little too close to heart and gives his brothers the scare of their life. Granted, him holding back Kraang Prime kept it on the sinking Technodrome, but you get what I'm saying.

His family actively calls him out on this behavior on two separate occasions during S4.

After they'd spent six months with the Fugatoid fighting the Triceratons and racing to collect every piece of the black hole generator before them, Fugatoid reveals that he was the one who made the world ending device, a reveal that lights a flame of betrayal in everyone, especially Raph and Leo. Believing that they're being used by Fugatoid, Leo rides off in a stealth ship on his own and nearly gets himself killed, a move that has his brothers scolding him, with Raph being the most vocal about Leo's idiotic decision: "Leaders are called leaders because they're supposed to lead a TEAM!"

The moment isn't lingered upon for long, but they all make it clear that they're tired of Leo's one man missions. They're a team, so they should plan and function like one.

Then, in Broken Foot, Leo starts doing missions with Karai and Shinigami in secret to aid them in taking revenge against the Shredder, but, in an attempt to find out what Leo was hiding from them, the other turtles get caught up in their plans and Donnie gets hurt. Leo immediately abandons Karai (who later apologizes for what happened) and Shinigami to check on them and come clean.

He explains to Splinter later on that he didn't fill anyone in on the situation at first because he knew no one would've agreed to help Karai get revenge, and he acknowledges that it was stupid of him to think he could control the situation. Splinter expresses his disappointment, and April reprimands him for once again not trusting his own team enough for them to help him.

Leo apologizes to Raph and Mikey afterwards, even going so far to say he probably doesn't deserve to lead the team after this, something Raph just harumphs at while Mikey remains silent. He pleads for their help in stopping and eventually aiding Karai and Shinigami, and they go along with him to fix things as a team.

We no longer get any one man missions from Leo in S5 (there surprisingly weren't any in S3 lol), likely for a whole list of reasons ranging from leading in Splinter's absence to learning from his mistakes over time. But he makes sure that whatever they have to do gets done together, and he does his best to keep his brothers in line.

I suppose one could say that '03 Leo remembered what it meant to be a leader, while '12 Leo discovered what it meant to lead.

[shadowgale96]

Little Moments in S2E2 of Heaven Official's Blessing

San Lang's jewelry sparkling when he's amused (?) by something. This one happens when the ghost gambling bets his daughters life. Reminds me of an anime glasses character's glass shine. this happens several times through the episode and is usually accompanied by a high pitched metallic sound. Like the chime of a sword unsheathing.

The green deer demon girl is adorable. Loving the frog man too.

The wind master genderbending back into a man after being dragged to a ghost spa with the undead women and freaking out about what kinda of products they used on his precious skin.

Xie Lian physically grabbing the wind master to keep him from slipping away to find a mirror. You're on a potentially life or death mission my guy. Bring a compact mirror on your next adventure. Fast thinking on an excuse by Xie Lian though!

This guy having zero points in stealth on a mission that the emperor himself said must be handled discreetly to avoid conflict with the ghost realm.

I love how they both panic, than immediately accept Qianqiu's imminent death at Hua Cheng's hand after he continues to insult the man in his own establishment.

'This place of mine is meant for revelry. If you don't want to take the path to heaven, and break into hell, what else can you do?' Hua Cheng revealing that he knew who they were already. Which isn't surprising because they all stand out enough as is, even if his husband wasn't with them and standing within within eyesight.

Respecting the demons/ghosts for calling out Qianqiu when he said they're lacking humanity and decency. Like 'Bruh, We are literally NOT human. We don't share you're morals or sense of decency at all. Just let us live our lives.' Like, I'm actually in agreement with them.

Getting into an air bender battle, while San Lang is barely flicking his wrist at him. I like how San Lang crushes the table and sends the shards flying at him. Showing he could easily impale Qianqiu before pulling him up at the last moment. It felt like San Lang was trying to teach him. He might have recognized that Qianqiu was young and foolish, but was trying to do good. So San Lang warns him by showing him what could happen if he keeps running his mouth without knowing who he's threatening. That or he decided not to dice Qianqiu because Xie Lian was watching... could go either way

HuaLian having a tender moment looking into each other's eyes while everyone waits downstairs confused.

San Lang 100% offered Qianqiu as a prize to give Xie Lian the chance to help him and Him the chance to hold hands with Xie Lian X'D

We hear that metallic chime noise again here. I think San Lang gave Xie Lian some of is luck here. San Lang also holds Xie Lian's hands on the final round too when Xie Lian rolled two 6's and wins.

Everyone's reaction to San Lang calling Xie Lian 'Gege'. Qingxuan is curious and confused. Qianqiu looks shocked and a little embarrassed. and the grandma Pleakley looking demon's head falls off their body.

San Lang telepathically ordering his assistant to have everyone STFU while he's playing with Xie Lian.

Wind Master Qingxuan pelting Qianqiu with his fan for continuing to run his mouth.

San Lang being completely smitten with Xie Lian as he drops a man from the ceiling

Xie Lian making Qianqiu shut his mouth. Dude BE QUIET! They JUST saved you.

It was incredibly sweet how when San Lang approaches Xie Lian asking for the bet he's owed, Qianqiu steps between them and holds his arm out to protect Xie Lian from who he perceives to be a threat. Qianqiu knows he wouldn't win, but he moves to protect Xie Lian anyway. He's so foolish but so brave.

San Lang would eat stale pringles off the floor if Gege touched them,

Prince being to good for his own good again by telling Xie Lian not to lie to Hua Cheng. Despite himself not liking him at all for treating him like a pinata prize in front of everyone.

This was a very cute episode and there were so many enjoyable moments.

[seikilos-stele]

Izzy, Ed, and Saying “I’m Sorry”

I saw a post recently that said Ed’s apology (“sorry about your leg”) was fine actually, because that’s just how Ed and Izzy are, it’s just how they talk.

So I wanted to stress: that’s how Ed is. That’s not how Izzy is.

When Izzy apologizes, it’s: “I said some things I regret last night. I don’t think you’re a shell of a man or a twat.” And: “Ed, I’m sorry. I’ve been terrible to you. I fed your darkness. Blackbeard. For years I egged him on even though I knew you’d outgrown him.”

In S1 and S2 we see how izzy apologizes. He acknowledges his wrongdoing in specific “I” statements — “I did THIS, and I regret it,” “I did THIS, and it was a terrible thing to do.” When Ed apologizes it’s “Sorry about your leg.” Not “Sorry for what I did to your leg,” and no eye contact.

Some people think that Izzy’s response, “Fuck off,” is evidence that he doesn’t accept Ed’s apology, but I disagree — I do think Izzy accepted. I think it’s the most he’s ever gotten from Ed and he knows he’s not going to get anything better. Ed himself says he’s never apologized before, and only does it (not to Izzy but to the crew) when Stede makes him.

It’s worth analyzing how the two apologies are treated by the narrative as well. When Ed apologizes, all is forgiven; he gets his crew (“Ed, they love you”), he gets his lover and his happy ending. For Izzy, the narrative isn’t so kind. In one case, his apology is met with deceit from Ed — to prevent Izzy from further apologizing (by leaving the ship) Blackbeard lies to Izzy and says he plans to kill Stede, then maneuvers Izzy into doing it for him. Only to let Izzy be banished, because he never really wanted Stede dead in the first place. To recap, Izzy is mean to Ed in private; he gives a sincere, unprompted apology the next morning and tries to repent by leaving the ship; he is narratively punished with a humiliating duel and banishment.

In S2, Izzy apologizes to the crew by protecting them from the Kraken, and he IS narratively rewarded for this. His wordless apology results in love from the crew, acceptance, and support. It’s worth noting that we never see Ed make the same concerted effort to change his behavior. Stede tries to push Ed into it, but Ed resists — he rolls his eyes, he treats it as a joke, and he tries to convince his crew that they actually enjoyed being tortured. This is very different from Izzy, who quietly changes his ways without being forced or prompted.

In the finale, Izzy apologizes for feeding Ed’s darkness and absolves Ed for the way he mutilated Izzy in the S1 finale and first two episodes of S2. These mutilations are physical acts including multiple amputations and forced auto-cannibalism; Izzy still bears the scar from his suicide attempt following the final and most severe amputation. Izzy gives a high-quality apology for his mean words (“namby pamby in a silk gown pining for his boyfriend,” “I serve Blackbeard, not Edward. Edward better watch his step.”) Ed doesn’t apologize for choking Izzy, for cutting off his toes and feeding them to him, for shooting him or for goading him into suicide; he certainly doesn’t apologize for lying to him back in S1 about Stede. As we all know, while Izzy dies, Ed doesn’t apologize at all. Izzy gets only one apology from Ed in S2. It’s a low-quality apology vaguely referencing Izzy’s leg, without taking responsibility for it. Ed’s apology is the same distant statement of pity that we might hear from Lucius or Black Pete upon noticing that Izzy is disabled. “Sorry about your leg” — not as in “I’m sorry for what I did,” but as in, “Wow, it sucks that that happened to you. And it has nothing to do with me.”

It’s made worse by the fact that Ed can’t just apologize to Izzy. It’s Izzy who approaches Ed, awkwardly extending the olive branch. Ed rebukes Izzy for avoiding him and makes a judgmental comment about Izzy’s recent uptick in drinking, then seeks out Izzy’s reassurance/comfort (“It feels like a storm’s coming…”). Izzy refuses to give Ed the comfort he seeks, and it’s clear that this bothers Ed; it’s a departure from their usual dynamic.

Ed has to work up to an apology over the course of a brief conversation where the first thing he does is subtly reprimands Izzy for avoiding him. Ed’s priority is not to say he’s sorry; it’s to make sure Izzy knows Ed is upset about the silent treatment and then to seek comfort for Ed’s own emotional turmoil. Contrast this with both Izzy’s apologies: in S1, when Ed approaches him, Izzy squares his shoulders and apologizes right away. There’s no waffling about it; it’s clearly been weighing on his mind, and he needs to say he’s sorry before the conversation veers elsewhere. In S2, Izzy is literally dying; he asks Ed to stay with him, and then launches directly into his apology. There are no insults; there’s no cattiness; he doesn’t try to make Ed feel bad for being hurt.

Conclusion:

There’s a world of difference between Izzy’s apologies and Ed’s. The first difference is in the quality. The second difference is in how the narrative treats them. Ed’s low-quality apologies are rewarded. Izzy’s higher-quality apologies are punished with banishment and death.

[chalkrevelations]

Ohhhh, my god. Yeah, I have only myself to blame for the way Last Twilight played me in regards to the MorkDay relationship. Because the Night & Day relationship was right there as foreshadowing. And I realize that I've harped repeatedly on the way the narrative framed the accident that damaged Day's vision, but now I realize that it provides a (unintentional?) parallel to the trainwreck of Mork and Day's relationship as it actually plays out vs. the way the narrative treats it.

Day never, not once, accepts any culpability in the accident that damaged his vision, even though he was the one driving the car. None of the other characters challenge his framing that the accident was Night's fault. The narrative, itself, doesn't challenge his framing that the accident was Night's fault. Yes, his reckless driving is shown to be in response to an action of Night's, but not once is Day made to take ownership of and accept responsibility for his own actions and how he responds, which includes driving with his head practically under the dashboard, at night, with other cars on the road. Nobody made Day do that except Day, himself. Significantly, we never hear anything about anyone in the other vehicle or how they may have been injured (or killed?), and I have to wonder how much of that is down to Day's privileged socioeconomic status. (If it had been Mork driving that car, how likely is it that he would have ended up ... well. In jail?)

Neither does Day accept any responsibility for the damage to his relationship with Mork - or the emotional damage he deals to Mork, himself - when he unilaterally breaks things off after figuring out Mork lied about the job opportunity in Hawaii. None of the other characters challenge his framing that Mork has committed the cardinal sin of pitying Day. The narrative, itself, doesn't challenge his framing that Mork has committed the cardinal sin of pitying Day - in fact, it doubles down by making Mork apologize for it in the final episode. Yes, Day's response to Mork lying about the job is in character for him, but Day is never made to take ownership of and accept responsibility for how he responds, including 1) jumping to conclusions about Mork's reasons or 2) withdrawing emotional support from his boyfriend in the wake of Mork's admission of ongoing trauma. Given context clues we get prior to Day jumping to his conclusions, it's clear that Mork had unresolved trauma from his sister's death. But Day mows him down for supposedly pitying Day as surely as if he'd hit him with a car, shuts down any explanation Mork tries to give and withdraws any hope of a mutually supportive relationship by refusing to do the least bit of emotional labor on Mork's behalf, instead banishing him from Day's life. We then get an upbeat montage of Day living his best life without Mork, but significantly, we see nothing about what Mork is going through or dealing with during this same time period.

Day treats both of these men in his life - men who are in some of the closest relationships he can have: a brother, a lover - terribly, while shrugging off his own part in the physical and emotional injuries he blames them for. He never apologizes to either of them for hurting them by lashing out. Instead, he magnanimously forgives both of them for how they've hurt him and expects the relationships to pick up from there as if everything is fine. And indeed, in neither case does the narrative seem to think that he needs to do any work to make up for how he treats them.

Which also leads me to: Maybe in some ways, the accident stands in for the way that Day - and his mother - hold it against Night for not being the supportive big brother they think he ought to have been. But Mork's storyline shows us that it never would have mattered how supportive a big brother Night was, because Mork was repeatedly, exhaustively supportive of Day, and all it took was one misstep for Day to kick Mork to the curb and literally block him out of his life for three years until Mork, himself, came back and pushed the issue while accepting full blame onto himself. Sure, Day wrote that editor's note in the book, but he also doted on that gd fish that Night got him, while at the same time being the most heinous asshole he could possibly be both to and about Night. So if he's going to treat Mork the way he did, why should I think he would treat Night any differently than he did the minute Night made a single mistake, no matter if Night had been (in his eyes) perfect in the past?

I think I'm supposed to believe that Day has learned and grown during his time with a disability - I guess that's one thing I'm supposed to take away from his little speech at the beginning of the finale and maybe from him helping that dude across the street in the surprise gotcha in the last part of the ep? But if I look at what the series actually shows me of how he treats the people in his life, I have no proof that he's not just the same self-centered asshole he started out as - the self-centered asshole he admits to being at one point. Which would be fine - no disabled person is required to be a saint, purified and exalted into inspiration porn by their disability. It's just that 1) the show seems to be trying to sell me on the idea that he's not the same self-centered asshole he started out as, and 2) the show seems to be trying to sell me on the idea that any relationship Mork has with him isn't going to be toxically imbalanced.

And I'm not buying.

[kimkhimhant]

part 2 of the kim jacket meta (part one)

in this, I am focusing on the kimchay scenes in which Kim is wearing a jacket (I'd analyze every scene where he's wearing one, but that's every scene he's in besides the ~6 scenes mentioned in the last post so. narrowing down the focus to just kimchay scenes)

starting off of course with their first meeting.

kim is, predictably, wearing a leather jacket in this scene. he is wik and his walls are fully up. there is very little of him on display because he is putting on an act and performing for the public.

his second scene with Chay he is also wearing a jacket, but it's not leather. it's a soft velvety material, and Kim is a little less closed off. He gives Chay a little bit of himself: his name and interest. But he's also left a little bit more vulnerable than he intends to be. the stunned silence after Chay proclaims "i like all sides of you" as well as the inability to say no to Chay.

The next time he wears a jacket around Chay is when Chay shows up at his apartment, and Kim is wearing that peach-y denim(? canvas?) jacket. It catches him off guard. He wasn't expecting to see Chay, and he barely speaks a word to Chay during the entire exchange. Despite the awe and fondness on his face in the scene, he still doesn't open up to or reach out to Chay. Chay comes, sings his song, leaves, while Kim stands there silently.

There are some non-chronological scenes and also non-in-person kimchay moments in between here, like kim rejecting chay's calls or thinking about him while at home – he's wearing a jacket in all of these scenes. he has himself closed off, he's not reaching out to Chay, and he's rejecting Chay's attempts to reach out to him.

This scene in the recording studio is only seen through a flashback in the final episode, but chronologically it seems to fit here. Kim and Chay are at the studio and Chay is recording TSICY. Kim, in his denim jacket, starts to show too much of himself and gets up and leaves.

And then the confession.

Kim is wearing a leather jacket in this one. That might seem like it contradicts this whole analysis, but there are a couple things to consider. 1: despite seemingly accepting Chay's confession, Kim himself doesn't say anything. I think about all he says in the scene is "Porchay" something about Chay passing the practical, "thanks" and "I can't breathe." and 2: his jacket is gone by the next scene, when they're at Chay's house on the couch.

In accepting Chay's confession, kissing Chay's cheek, and basking in Chay's physical affection, Kim's layer of protection comes off and his walls start to come down.

The next Kimchay scene featuring a jacket is..

the breakup. Kim is back in leather and he is running away. He can barely look Chay in the eyes, and he is very carefully controlling his expressions so as to not show his emotions.

and then the club scene. Kim is upset and acts out in anger – sure this might seem like emotional vulnerability, but it's not, because he's not actually acknowledging what he's really feeling, he's not actually reaching out to Chay in the way he wants to, and he's not actually being vulnerable, he's just hiding behind his anger because he doesn't want or know how to take accountability for his own actions or face the fact that he lost Chay.

And then, as I went over in the first part of this meta, the last couple scenes Kim is again without a jacket as he confronts the loss and attempts to reach back out to Chay.

So yeah! Kim's jackets or lack thereof as a representation of vulnerability <3

[gabessquishytum]

Dream really do be having that previously neglected shelter dog rizz and y’all be putting him in Situations 😭. Please all I can see him doing is laying pathetically on the floor letting out occasional heaving sighs of sorrow as Hob just carefully steps over him (because Dream somehow always manages to be on the floor directly under where he’s about to step and Hob’s one more tumble away from just investing in a ceiling made of monkey bars).

So now all I can imagine is Dream post-divorce with Calliope (because let’s be real that man came out of the celestial womb divorced and mopey) who finds solace in Hob’s flat and Hob’s occasional attempts to heave him up both physically and emotionally. When Hob’s not frantically almost stepping on his dear friend and braining himself as a result, he’s just sort of resigned himself to the reality that Dream just kind of…lives on his floor now when he’s not in The Dreaming, so he’s like fuck it I’m just gonna keep going about my days. So Dream gets to watch Hob’s daily routines from a brand new perspective, maybe even catch a glimpse of Hob changing in his bedroom when he forgets (read: he did not forget) to close his door, and how he sings awfully in the shower, and loves burnt toast that’s practically char and makes Dream watch terrible human shows and movies all of a sudden Dream’s like oh no I’m in love with him

I just love the idea of Dream moping around looking like a lost dog caught out in the rain for so long that Hob just accepts him as a permanent fixture in the flat. He makes some room in the closet for all of Dream’s nonexistent clothes (he buys him some anyway), he gives him a cupboard in the kitchen and a drawer or two, he gets drunk and tells Dream about all his own failed relationships over the centuries. And when Hob finally snaps and tells Dream that he’s not unloveable and proves that to him by giving him a big sloppy drunk kiss, well Dream’s always wanted more than he’s got, and he can’t stop himself when he doesn’t let Hob pull away, hands gripping the thick meat of his upper thighs, teeth against teeth and gasping into each other’s mouths and suddenly Dream can’t even remember why he was so sad to begin with

I need you to know the phrase "shelter dog rizz" is sending me absolutely wheezing. Iconic.

And honestly? Yeah.

It takes a little while for Hob to get used to the man shaped creature who apparently now lives on the floor, but he figures that Dream has been Going Through Something for the last several thousand years so he probably deserves the opportunity to express his depressive episode in a relatively harmless way. He's still willing to talk to Hob, which is nice. Hob tells him about work and the pub and how he's in a hyperfixation over The Sims at the moment, which happens to him for a few week every year without fail. Dream sometimes talks about the goings on of his realm, and Matthew's shenanigans. A lot of the time he talks about how useless he feels and how, despite the fact that he ought not to feel fatigue at all, he's so tired.

Dream is surprisingly welcome company for Hob (who is lonely, though he would never ever dare to say that word to Dream again). Despite acting like a very strange rug, Dream is present and calming and when Hob lies down beside him on the floor, he feels absolutely peaceful.

Kissing Dream is absolutely the best drunken decision Hob has ever made (and there have been many). Dream melts against his body and the flicker of a smile starts in his eyes before finally quirking at the edge of his mouth.

Suddenly he's quite willing to spend less time on the floor... and more time in bed.

[deowon]

﹟HAN JAEWON ⠀╱⠀ 한재원 ⠀ ────── ⠀ a fictional member of south-korean boy group  THE BOYZ.  he made his debut on  DECEMBER 6, 2017  with the single  ‘Boy’  in their mini-album  ‘The First’ .  outside of the group,  he is known for his participation on the second season of hit survival show  PRODUCE 101,  where he placed 13th in the final episode.

a study on  stardom since childhood,  perceived innocence,  misplaced optimism,  being milked for fame,  not-so-first first loves,  last chances,  self-acceptance,  and learning to live for yourself.

　　　　　 ››⠀ BASICS.

BIRTH NAME : 　 han jaewon ⠀ ( 한재원 )

ENGLISH NAME : 　 jamison han

STAGE NAME : 　 jaewon ⠀ ( 재원 ) 

NICKNAMES & TITLES : 　 jaewonnie.  wonnie.  jae.  hannie.  hanjae.  ( all )  james.  jamie.  jam.  sonny.  jw.  (  jacob, kevin, eric + other english speaking friends )  lover boy.  pengwon.  hammie.  idol heartstlear.  nation’s face card.  nation’s sweetheart.  korea’s cutie.  snow prince/ss.  forever rookie.  mr. forgettable.  unknown twelfth.  ( netizens & deobis & antis ) 

DATE OF BIRTH : 　 september 30, 2000 

ZODIAC : 　 libra & dragon 

PRONOUNS : 　 he  ╱  him 

SEXUALITY : 　 biromantic-asexual  ( private )

ETHNICITY : 　 south korean 

NATIONALITY : 　 american 

BIRTHPLACE : 　 gyeonggi, south korea 

HOMETOWN : 　 seongnam, gyeonggi 

LANGUAGES : 　  korean  ( fluent  ╱  mother tongue ).  english  ( fluent ).  japanese + french + italian  ( conversational ).  mandarin  ( basics ).  

　　　　　 ››⠀ PHYSICAL.

HEIGHT : 　 180 cm  |  5’11  

BLOOD TYPE : 　 A

NOTABLE FEATURES : 　 doe eyes.  mole on his lower lip and by his left eye.  small scar on his left palm and back of the neck. 

PIERCINGS : 　 n/a 

TATTOOS : 　 a small star  ( inner left wrist ).  a cat curled in a sleeping position ( above his right knee ). 

FACE CLAIM : 　 kim yonghee  ( cix ) 

VOCAL CLAIM : 　 ha hyunsang  ( soloist )

RAP CLAIM : 　 mark lee  ( nct )

DANCE CLAIM : 　 hwang hyunjin  ( stray kids ).  @/shoyan_yan. 

SPEAKING CLAIM : 　 kim wooseok  ( soloist ; korean ).  joshua hong  ( seventeen ; english ). 

　　　　　 ››⠀ PERSONAL.

MBTI : 　 INFJ-T 

STRENGTHS : 　 soft hearted.  empathetic.  thoughtful.  gracious.  compassionate.  practical insight.  fair-minded.  creative.  organized.  great communication.  understanding of other perspectives.  best hype man out there.  optimistic.  the hardest worker you will ever meet.  high eq.  

WEAKNESSES : 　 conflict averse.  overthinks social interactions.  perfectionist.  insecure / low confidence.  people pleaser.  ignores his needs and wants for others.  has difficulty setting his own boundaries.  gets caught up in stress.  altruistic.  tends to overwork himself by doing too much for others.  

LIKES : 　 soft sweaters.  cheese.  fashion.  reading.  puzzles.  indie rock & r&b.  making & posting song covers.  the colour purple.  cute stuffed animals / trinkets.  shows with more than one season.  strawberries.  pokemon.  babying his members.  getting to perform darker concepts.  psychological thrillers. physics & math.

DISLIKES : 　 having to act cute.  getting involved in arguments without good reason.  waking up before 9 am.  being purposely left out of things.  broken guitar strings.  people touching his stuff without asking first.  uncalled for cliffhangers.  broken promises.  weak plotlines.  superficial relationships.  

HABITS : 　 pouts when focused / in deep thought.  cracking his joints ( knuckles, wrists, & ankles ).  hums instead of responding with words.  chews his lip when annoyed.  clings to a groupmate’s arm when nearby.  rubs at his eyes a lot.  straightens his posture when excited.  hands tremble when nervous.  

FEARS : 　 astraphobia  ( fear of thunder and lightning ) 

KNOWN FOR : 　 his popularity on produce 101.  having the longest training time in the boyz.  being the quietest member.  chaotic solo lives.  emotional singing voice.  being adopted by friends with many other idols.  his bond with keonhee of oneus.  never being scared of chanhee’s antics.  iconic one-liners.  being the younger brother of han subin.  crying at the end of every big tour the group has done so far.  not being in the visual line up.  his soft demeanour & politeness.  his duality on stage.  being the second scariest in the group when mad.  his small hoard of stuffed animals / keychains.  boba eyes.  nepotism allegations.

　　　　　 ››⠀ CAREER.

PROFESSION : 　 idol.  model.  actor. 

COMPANY : 　 ist entertainment  ( 2021 – current ).  cre.ker entertainment  ( 2017 – 2021 ).  sm entertainment  ( 2013 – 2017 ). 

TRAINING PERIOD : 　 four years & four months  ( 2013 – 2017 )

GROUP : 　 the boyz  ( 2017 – current ).  smrookies  ( 2013 – 2016 ). 

POSITION : 　 main vocalist.  main dancer.  sub rapper. 

SPECIALTIES : 　 bass & electric guitar.  songwriting.  producing.  acting.  choreographing.  freestyle.  acrobatics.  figure skating.  

REPRESENTATIVE NUMBER : 　 17 

EMOJIS : 　 🐹  ╱  🐰  ╱  ⭐️  ( main )  🐧  ( fan joke )

INDIVIDUAL FANDOM : 　 PBs 

　　　　　 ››⠀ TRIVIA.

﹟ he used to do competitive figure skating when he was younger but stopped a year after moving to america. he got into the sport because of his sister, han subin—a now retired professional figure skater, and saw her as a role model. 

﹟ despite being seen as soft, jaewon doesn’t get scared easily and often partakes in tormenting the other members with chanhee. he enjoys psychological thrillers the most and gore films the least under the genre. 

﹟ a human scale; he can tell how heavy someone is just by lifting them. 

﹟ there’s an old video of him as a child slipping on the ice and sliding on his stomach, leading to his fans fondly nicknaming him “pengwon”. many often use the penguin emoji as a joke whenever he does something clumsy on screen. 

﹟ whenever nervous or scared, jaewon said that his hands go freezing cold and take a while to warm up again after. he mentioned that it happens a lot still and he isn’t sure how to fix it. 

﹟ his close idols friends include: oneus’ keonhee, verivery’s dongheon, a majority of nct, and sf9’s chani. he wants to be closer with stray kids but is too shy to approach them first. 

﹟ him and sunwoo are childhood friends and somewhat rivals. they used to live close by to each other before and after jaewon moved back to south korea and would bicker a lot. sunwoo mentioned that jaewon is not the type of person you want to play fight with unless you’re sure you’ll win. 

﹟ loves pokemon and animal crossing. his favourite pokemon are mimikyu and eevee while his favourite villagers are raymond and butch. 

﹟ grew up learning piano and cello and is self-taught in bass and guitar. he often helps to compose and produce the group’s music and loves to make his own songs. fans have been begging him to post stuff on soundcloud.

[ateez-himari]

Himari & ATEEZ [Relationships]

Hongjoong [HimJoong]

.../When came time for the last elimination that would determine which girl would get to join ATEEZ, the members' votes were split in half and the arguments being brought forth put her at a high risk of losing. However to her surprise, Hongjoong was the one who fought tirelessly for her and was the first to embrace her when the winner was announced, which is why she had such a strong attachment to him from the beginning.

.../Since their trainee days he has always been the one who she turns to first when in need of comfort or validation as he grew to be a big brother to her. Whenever the group must complete missions or try something new, she can always be seen turning to him after finishing her part to make sure that he approves of it. At the beginning of their career she was still very shy around other people and would always be seen holding his hand or the side of his jacket. Due to her growth over the years she hides behind him much less than she used to, but the habit of holding on to him does not seem to have left.

.../Because he doesn't show much liking towards skinship she often sits in silence next to him when he works or watches TV, and brings him coffee or food when he stays up late in the studio as her way to show him that she cares. At first he would show his affections through acts of service like teaching her how to rap but it quickly developed into him accepting physical affection and kissing her cheeks while she rests her head on his shoulder, brushing her hair, holding her hand or hugging her from behind. On nights where they are watching TV with the other members, he occasionally sits her between his legs and braids her hair.

.../The two are very close in terms of personality which further reinforces their already heartwarming connection and have been deemed as platonic soulmates by their group members. From the day Himari passed the final elimination, they have shared a special bond neither can seem to explain. When they visited a tarot card reader on the 5th episode of Codename is Ateez, she instantly pointed out how linked the two are.

.../On the days where he is left to work late in the studio by himself or is out of the house until late hours of the night, Himari will sit on the couch to wait for him, which often results in her falling asleep there until he gets home and carries her to their room.

Seonghwa [SeongAri]

.../During the beginning of their trainee days he used to scare her because of his demeanor but he would regularly buy her food, help her with every day chores, compliment her cooking, etc, which eventually got her to warm up to him.

.../The day where she finally stopped being so hesitant around him, he became very protective of her and started looking out for her well-being everywhere they went. If a dress was too short during an interview he will make sure to cover her with his jacket, if a fan or interviewer is being too insistent he will quickly intervene to take their focus away from her, if she trips he is the first to check her over for bruises, he helps her check her makeup during filming, etc.

.../When she goofs around in front of him he rolls his eyes at first but quickly joins in to whatever she is doing, and when he is the one goofing around she does not waste a second in copying him. For example they once re-enacted a star wars scene together in the middle of the kitchen with their only source of light being the lightsabers they were holding which originally started by Seonghwa simply spinning his saber in order to show it off to Atinys.

.../When he is building legos she often hovers around him, fascinated by how easily he puts everything together, which always leads to him sitting her down on his leg and showing her how to do it. There are times where he demonstrates something and then undoes it in order to her to try it out, guiding her through it with a laugh if she gets confused by the instructions.

Yunho[YuRi]

.../Even before the final elimination he was rooting for her but due to the members being forbidden to interact with the contestants in order to avoid any bias clouding their decision, he would simply watch over her training in a sign of support. The moment she was chosen he became her biggest supporter, which intimidated her at first due to the amount of energy he was radiating but she quickly took a liking to it and began cheering him on as well.

.../He figured out that she had anxiety even before her diagnosis was revealed and lets her grab on to his sleeve whenever she needed something to anchor herself to. When he sees that a task is too stressful for her to handle by herself, he immediately rushes over to help and cracks jokes while they work through it, his radiant demeanor putting her at ease almost instantly.

.../He always helps her during dance practices, showing her how she could improve certain aspects of the choreography all the while keeping in mind what her style is like. When the two are bored they will try to learn girl group choreographies together, which often ends with the two fooling around and freestyling. Whenever she does some sort of suggestive move he automatically covers her with his body, leading to her using this as a way to mess with him whenever they are on stage.

.../Due to her joining the industry at a relatively young age, her days were filled with either training or school work which left very little time for her to play video games. When he found out, he introduced her to FIFA and since then the two have been very competitive with each other, the loser of the previous game always asking for a re-match. At some point it became somewhat of a routine for the members to gather on the couch on Friday nights and watch the two battle it out on the virtual soccer field, a routine that goes on to this day.

Yeosang [YeoRi]

.../At first she was slightly unsure how to approach him yet made the first move despite her hesitation. One day when she came back from school the two were alone doing math homework in the practice room, which is when she got the idea of asking him for help despite having an in-depth understanding of the material. Since then she used it as a way to get close to him and bond, later finding out that he knew all along about her being well-rounded in mathematics.

.../He often stays by her side when she cooks in case she needs any help and most of the time they end up dancing to whatever music is playing through the speakers while the food cooks. Because of this, when Himari prepares meals for team dinners, the group often ends up eating fairly late yet none seem to mind as watching the two while chatting over soju is quite entertaining.

.../The members blame him for her occasional brutal boldness as she used to be relatively reserved when it came to any kind of criticism before getting close to Yeosang. Now she has moments where roasts accidentally slip out of her mouth and she doesn't realize it until seeing the members' reactions. When someone else tries to make a bold comment about her, he will immediately jump to her defense by innocently roasting whomever attempted to bad-mouth her.

San [SanAri]

.../The two took formed a bond quite quickly due to their similar cat-like personalities and had a tendency to gravitate towards one another like magnets ever since. There are times when their social batteries drain quite quickly and when it happens, they automatically find each other. Despite bringing out the calm side in one another, pairing the two together can have the opposite effect and make them comfortable enough to bring out their louder side.

.../When put together for games whether it be on variety shows or simply in the privacy of their own dorm, they tend to drift off in their own world and get distracted by the simplest things, almost forgetting what they were originally doing. It usually starts off with Himari finding something interesting then pointing it out to San who becomes equally lost in whatever it is she saw.

.../Due to their love of physical affection they tend to be very clingy and it is rare to find San napping backstage (or anywhere really) without Himari using his body as a mattress while holding Shiber. They never seem to get tired of each other's love so whenever comes times for breaks in between songs during tours, fans can be sure to find them stuck to one another like glue.

.../Despite their wholesome relationship fans were shocked to see that they could also be quite 'demonic' with each other on stage as some of their interactions can get pretty flirtatious (though not as much as her and Mingi's). He often incites her to dance with him during the heat topping remix of 'Fireworks'.

Mingi [MinAri]

.../Being fully aware of his struggle with mental health, she tends to come straight to his side when sensing that something is wrong without asking questions, simply keeping him company. If he opens up about what he is feeling then she will gladly give his words her full attention, often laying against his chest as he plays with her hair to distract himself. Despite the two's close bond, it took her a long time to open up about her own mental health as she thought he wouldn't see her as able to care for him if she was struggling as well. From the moment he found out, they became each other's healing.

.../A few weeks before his hiatus, the two had stopped talking due to the amount of fans that were taking things too far and hating on them for allegedly dating simply because of how close they are to each other. Due to these rumors taking place during a time where Himari was receiving a lot of hate, he decided to distance himself as he knew that this was just another way for people to bash her. When he left, she began feeling extremely guilty as she believed that a large part of his anxiety was caused by these rumors, which was why he was not talking to her anymore. The day he came back to record 'Fireworks' she didn't know how to act, scared that he was mad at her, so she simply gave him a small bow, watching the other members welcome him until he finally wrapped his arms around her. The moment she felt him embrace her, she broke down crying and the two stayed like this for ten minutes until he finally spoke, reassuring her that none of this was her fault. Since then, they have stopped caring what 'fans' had to say and resumed showing their close bond on screen, even taking the freedom to act flirty with each other during concerts.

.../It seems like wherever one goes, the other follows as she can often be seen in the background of his lives either laying on his bed or sitting on the chair next to him. Due to this fans have begun paying more attention to interactions between the two and have found that despite enforcing that they are just friends, their relationship seems much more intimate than the ones they have with other members.

.../He knows about her love for sightseeing and photography so when in another country he always offers to go sightseeing with her as he knows she will not ask first in order to make sure everyone does what they want without feeling as though they have to accompany her.

.../Knowing how much she loves to watch K-Dramas he often invites her into his room at night so that they can spend some time together doing something she loves as he enjoys seeing her happy. Horror dramas happen to be one of her favorites yet since she knows how much he dislikes it she never offers any from that genre, until the day where he found out about this being one of her favorite things to watch. A few nights after that he said he would choose the drama and ended up putting on one she knew to be famous in the horror genre, which shocked her. During the nights leading up to the finishing of the series, they would curl up close to each other and hold hands, which has now become a habit any time they watch TV.

Wooyoung [WooRi]

.../When the two met it was like they had known each other for years as Himari instantly felt at ease around him due to his relaxed and goofy personality. The simple fact of being with him helped her to let go, to be more herself around others even if it meant doing things that people on the outside would find ridiculous. Now they can often be seen messing around together during concerts.

.../It seems as though Wooyoung skipped a few steps in the bonding stages as he immediately started to show her affection by hugging her and kissing her cheeks, something that she was far from hating. Due to this early physical closeness between the two, they're very comfortable dancing against each other on stage as well as holding each other in public and many fans have suspected that Himari's biting tendency was created by Wooyoung.

.../Despite the fact that their friendship started on a light hearted note, the two eventually opened up to one another about their past struggles, leading to the realization that they were more alike than they previously thought as they both shared that crushing sense of loneliness throughout their childhood. They started out as people who were able to give love yet struggled to receive it but thanks to one another's help they managed to overcome this.

Jongho [JongAri]

.../Due to him being the closest in age to her she tried to befriend him from the start but his sheltered emotions made her pull back slightly as she never knew when she was annoying him. When he saw this he quickly decided to help her become more comfortable around him and began messing around with her more which instantly made her at ease. Not only that but he was also quite compliant whenever she initiated skinship and to this day she is the only one who can get away with it.

.../They always work on their vocals together as it is their own way of bonding and, unbeknownst to the other members, often fool around doing karaoke in the practice room. After one of their monthly evaluations, Himari was asked to show the extent of her vocal range as it was not enough where it stood at that point and when came the next evaluation, she was so nervous that Jongho ended up holding her hand as she made it through the song without a single slip up. Since then, they always sing high notes and harmonies either back to back or holding hands to bring each other strength.

.../Many joke that he is her personal bodyguard as he always stays next to her in airports, making a barrier between her and the crowd and is the first to get visibly ticked off when a negative comment or joke is made about her. He also has a tendency to carry her on his back when she gets tired or when she is wearing high heels.

[joongsmassiveship]

Ateez Scenarios

Hongjoong with a touch starved s/o

Requested by @invisibleshadow

Hongjoong had been home for about two hours now. It was late, of course. It usually was when he would get home. Well past midnight, in fact. You had waited up in your bed, unable to sleep because tonight you were missing him quite a lot. But you never wanted to interrupt his work, so you didn't. But when you heard the front door open and he kicked his shoes off, and you waited for him to just come back to bed like he usually did, he never did.

So after those two hours had passed, you gave up on waiting for him and you got up to go to him. You slipped on your slippers and your robe and headed to the living room, where he was slouched on the couch, watching a show on the TV and just trying to unwind before bed. You could tell that he was caught up in it now and that's what was taking so long. So you waited in the doorway, since the episode was just about over.

"Hongjoong.." Your voice was quiet and tired when you finally spoke up just before he could skip to the next episode. He immediately looked at you, startled by your presence.

"Baby, why are you up?" His expression was immediately full of concern. It was at least 3 in the morning by now. He sat up straight and patted the couch cushion next to him.

"I couldn't sleep.." You hurry over and sit down, playing with the string of your robe. "I.. I missed you too much.."

"Oh.." A soft, loving smile found his lips and he nodded.

"I really.. Need to feel close to you right now.." No matter how many times the two of you had talked about the ins and outs of physical affection with each other, you never could help but feel nervous any time you had to ask him for some.

"Yeah?" He smiled softly and scooted close to you, helping you lay down and putting your head in his lap. "Okay.. That's okay.." You could see by his eyes that you caught him at a good time for this and, as always, he appreciated you letting him actually initiate it.

"Thank you.." You close your eyes and smile softly, letting out a small content hum as he began to play with your hair. To most, this might not be that much of a gesture, but between the two of you, this situation was like a gift. After all, Hongjoong never really was too forth coming with touch and there were even times where he could barely be comfortable just holding hands. But sometimes, as long as you were patient and asked him, and as long as you let him initiate and choose how, he was accepting when you needed to be closer like this. And luckily enough for you, now was one of those times.

As he started his show again, he continued to absent-mindedly play with your hair. All the while, you were so relaxed, you began to doze off, falling asleep just like that. And even after you were out, he continued with his fingers gently running through your hair for about three more episodes before giving in to sleep himself, with his head falling against the back of the couch. This wouldn't last the rest of the night, but for now, the two of you were peacefully asleep, comfortable as can be together.

[damnitiloveyou]

Hi! hope you don't mind this ask, I keep thinking about your post on episode 7 and can't get it out of my head, specifically this part:

"He did it for Tim. He chose to be the man Tim challenged him to be. It's tragic, heartbreaking and beautiful. He chose to be the version of himself that Tim could still love."

This is so true and you've put it so beautifully, the post made me tear up when I first read it. Hawk got clean because he wanted to be the version of himself that Tim could still love, even if Tim never wants to see him again (he believes), and in this way, Tim's love for Hawk saves him. And by making this choice, Hawk's love for Tim proves stronger than his own self-hatred and guilt, and I think all of that is beautiful.

OMG I need people to understand how brilliant a penultimate episode this was! It set up everything, including the Hawk we meet in episode one. I know there are people who have an issue with it, specifically the Craig of it all, but the way he was used in the episode was genius. He basically functioned as a talking fleshlight. Their threesome scene was not a threesome, Hawk looked at Tim the entire time. Begging him over and over again to stay with him. It was insane.

Their entire Fire Island romp is a result of their fight, when Hawk tells him he likes Craig because, unlike Tim, he doesn't judge him. Tim gives him that day and night to show him that he doesn't judge those parts of Hawk. He can accept those things and still love him. What he cannot accept and live with is Hawk abandoning the family and life he chose, right or wrong, when they need him most. Their poolside heart to heart, which had me bawling, was a truly perfect scene. Tim knows that he doesn't physically have Hawk but every other part of Hawk belongs to him. Every part of Hawk that is true belongs to him.

Their fight the next morning sets up the entire thing. Tim tells him he can't do it anymore and refuses to help him or watch him kill himself. He tells him he needs to finally be free of him. Yes Hawk begs him not to go but he doesn't go after him. He gives him his freedom. He goes home and becomes the husband, father and grandfather we meet in episode one. He became the man Tim wanted him to be. When they parted ways in the 50's Hawk kept tabs on him. It's how he knew where he was in the 60's. It was the same when Tim was released from prison, Hawk kept tabs on him, that's how he knew how to contact him in the 70's. But when Marcus shows up at his house in the present day, Hawk doesn't know where Tim is. He didn't keep tabs on him. He gave him his freedom. He loved him enough to let him go.

I think most of us have had a pretty good idea of how Tim will pass in the final episode, but episode 7 pretty much confirmed it for me. Tim told Hawk he refused to help him or watch him kill himself. He loves him too much to do that. In episode 8 we will get the opposite. Hawk will love Tim enough to help him die. He will love Tim enough to set him free one last time. This has been beautifully and brilliantly set up. The final scene of episode 7 broke me. Episode 8 will end me. 💔

[blindmagdalena]

Just like you I am a big fan of the relationship between Homelander and Ryan and I have a few thoughts about them that I just wanna throw out there. Sorry this is a little lengthy😅

1: In season 2 episode 2 when Homelander is putting Ryan to bed I think he gives his little speech about them being gods because that’s what Homelander would have wanted someone to tell him as a kid. I think it’s the same thing with him telling Ryan “I love you, son” and then telling Ryan to say it back. Homelander is not inherently angry or upset that he has to either ask or tell Ryan to say “I love you” back. I think Homelander definitely gave off stern dad vibes in that scene as if he thinks he is teaching Ryan to say “I love you” but not in a forceful way but more in an “when I was his age I didn’t know dads and sons said I love you to each other so he must not know either”. I also think Homelander was just feeling super vulnerable in that moment and needed some kind of reassurance.

2. In the last episode of season three when Soldier Boy throws Ryan and Homelander chooses to check on Ryan first rather than engaging in the fight, I think Homelander chooses to do that because he’s probably never had anyone be protective of him or really worried/scared for him. I feel like Homelander may have viewed this as some kind of physical reassurance because Ryan was willing to get hurt and take on three very strong supes to try and help his dad. Not to mention even just being able to knock Soldier Boy back was a big demonstration of power on Ryan’s part. As we all know Homelander respects other powerful supes (to some degree). I also think it played a part in why Homelander was willing to leave at the end when Ryan asked him to. It may have also been to throw it in Butcher’s face than Ryan chose Homelander over Butcher.

3. Ryan is frequently shown wearing at least one color that matches one of the colors on his dad’s supersuit and I think that is really adorable.

don't EVER be sorry for bringing me ryan and dadlander content. both are always welcome.

you nailed the vibe of the 'i love you' scene imo. he's not mad about it, he's establishing his expectations for their relationship. that's just what you do. he's teaching Ryan the script. that's exactly how Homelander has always learned.

i don't know if Homelander was really actively choosing to ignore the threat. he was definitely very scared for his life when Soldier Boy had him, and i think he was running on pure emotion/adrenaline when he dropped down to check on Ryan. i went back to watch it and was unfortunately reminded of how... clumsy that whole finale is.

THAT ASIDE. i think you're right in that Ryan proved himself in a big way to Homelander in that moment. by the end of it, the poor kid just doesn't wanna see any more violence. Homelander accepts that because—again, for the first time—he feels like someone is finally choosing him. his dad is gone, but he has what mattered most to him. he has his son.

also, yes! i agree! we almost always see Ryan dressed in red, white and blue and i think that's an endlessly cute little detail.

[nomerrynolife]

About that Last Twilight ending...

So, I’m just gonna say it straight that probably doesn’t resound with the rest of you viewers here.

I don’t hate it.

BUT

I don’t like it either.

I won’t delve into the whole ableism/ableist issue as for one, I’m not a disabled person, specifically not a blind person. It is not my place to give an opinion on this as I can’t and won’t ever understand what it’s like to be blind. And there’s quite a few posts already that have commented on this issue quite strongly so that’s that.

I just wanna write down my thoughts as a BL drama lover, Thai Drama enthusiasts, and as JimmySea fan. Also, my POV as someone who is there at the Fan Meeting in Siam Pavalai. It’s been a week, and I was busy since and only had the time now to gather my thoughts and feelings towards the finale.

The Sudden Break-Up and Blocking. I’m not sure why the writers decided to made Day to be a brat who can’t have a proper discussion on Mhok’s decision to stay. Because we see in episode 11 that Day is actually happy and supportive and encouraging Mhok to go to Hawaii if he’s selected. The least the writer could do is make them talk (or argue) it out instead, breaking up is okay if they still disagree, but blocking Mhok for 3 years? A bit excessive don’t you think?

The Non-Existent Discussion About Mhok’s Trauma. This is like the elephant in the room that never got addressed or shown at all except the nightmare in episode 11 and occasional name dropping of Rung. We get it that Day can’t see that Mhok is having a nightmare, nor did he can read Mhok’s expression if he’s upset or sad about anything but throughout their friendship they didn’t talk at all about Rung and Mhok’s family in depth? They didn’t make Day asked what happened with Mhok’s sister? Like if the writers gonna make this as the reason Mhok is staying why didn’t this issue ever brought up before? This makes the break up uncalled for since Day didn’t know the real reason Mhok is staying and rejecting the job offer.

Day’s Not Giving Back – I know a lot of people is saying how Mhok keeps on giving and Day not giving back or did anything at all for Mhok, but I think Day’s contributions is Mhok’s improvements in himself i.e. giving up smoking, learning to cook better, learning to be a proper caretaker instead of just being someone who brought Day’s food. It wasn’t physical or significant but it’s there, no matter how small.

Mhok Excessive Flirting – I don’t mind (in fact I quite enjoy it) the flirting and sweetness and cutesy antics but after the blocking for 3 years Mhok can just comeback and flirt shamelessly and acting like nothing happen………… I know this is probably just to make a happy scene for us since we cried a lot over the previous episodes but come on now, as realistic as their flirting is no one in real world would immediately flirt after not seeing each other for 3 years.

Mhok Admitting He Did Pity Day (W.T.F??) – Out of all the fuck-ups in episode 12 this is the fuck ups I’m most angry with. The rest of the flaws in the episode is forgivable but this is like the Lord of the Fuck-Ups. We have seen from the first episode that Mhok is rather curious than pity, and we know the decision to decline the job offer stems from Mhok unaddressed trauma over his sister’s death. He rather be with Day instead of being away, worrying, wondering, and feeding on his paranoia (definitely NOT pitying) so when Mhok apologize and admitting that he did pity Day I almost threw my phone to P’Aof across the cinema hall.

The Sudden Eye Donation – I know a lot of people quite preferred that Day remained blind, after all the entire series centers around Day accepting his blindness, and to show that blind people can lead a normal life. The only thing I’m disagreeing over is how soon Day got the eye donation. I don’t think in any part of the world organ donation is easy to come by, let alone twice in the span of 3 years, no matter how rich his family is (Mhon isn’t exactly a politician that gets away with everything). In my head the ending would be Mhok and Day living life like normal couple, having a meal with Night, Porjai and Mhon, and the scene cut to shows Mhon’s phone ring at the back, showing Eye Donation Center calling and series ended there with P’Aof name appearing (you know like Inception ending where we didn’t know whether Dom’s coming back to his kids is real or not). The decision to make Day received the eye donation as soon as they make up seems lazy and unnecessarily convenient to me.

Day’s Heart Shattered into Pieces Comments – I saw someone said on twitter (I couldn’t find the link sorry) “did Day have amnesia or something” and did he forget he said “this is good” when he goes completely blind for the first time on the mountain and compare it to the last epilogue where Day said his heart is shattered into pieces when he goes blind. I think what was meant here is one can accept one’s fate, but still be heartbroken with it. I like to think this is like how we deal with death of loved ones, we accept that’s it’s God’s will but we are still heartbroken over it. Day did accept his blindness; doesn’t mean he can’t be heartbroken.

Scriptwriter Having a Blind Friend to Comment– There’s the series scriptwriter on twitter, where they said they have a blind friend and when they wrote the script, the scenes and the characters feelings is in consultation with the said blind friend. So, when the finale is written they did have an argument among themselves on how to go about, whether Day stays blind or gets an eye donation. I saw a lot of hate being directed to P’Aof, I just hope people know he’s not the only screenwriter on this series. And I know I said earlier on I don’t mind that Day got his sight back but I can’t help but feels like the whole point of one palm distance and “the last image that I see” is… pointless. The songs still slaps btw.

Did Jimmy Sea Have Any Say About Their Character At All? As someone who’s portraying the characters, did a very good job with it and seem to understand and empathize a lot with their characters' situation, I wonder if they have any say on Mhok’s character admitting he’s at fault or whether Day should be more considerate of Mhok’s situation. Because we never see Day equally apologizing for not giving Mhok the chance to explain himself. And it’s quite out of character for Mhok to admit that he did pity Day. What I see from Hollywood is that actors have “creative differences” with the scriptwriter all the time in regard to the character they’re portraying so that probably doesn’t apply to Thai entertainment.

People Wishing Death To Fans Attending – guys, come on. It’s a spur of the moment thing, we cheered because we were shocked, happy, annoyed (??). All in all, I have fun throughout the whole fan meeting, the excitement to meet JimmySea, the anxiousness in how it gonna end, the eye to eye contact with JimmySea during the group photo. They’re real people guys, so beautiful up-close. Namtan is ETHEREAL, such a Goddess.

One thing I’m glad that in this fandom, even after the critics, fans bashing and semi-disastrous finale, I see no one is blaming Jimmy and Sea. If anything, they truly deserve the praises, the love and the accolades that they have received so far from their outstanding portrayal as Mhok and Day.

For those who’s just starting to binge-watching the series, please do continue and don’t be discouraged seeing all these negative reviews and comments. Please enjoy JimmySea’s visual and acting (coz I love them so much they deserve the world even when the series ending is not what everyone’s expected and I’m crying as I’m typing this while begging you to not hate them), just that don’t get your hopes up, keep your expectations low and prepare to be let down at the end.

Here’s a couple of pictures at the fan meeting, if you got the chance to go to the next fan meeting please do. I practically sold my kidney for the last minute flight coz I'm waited only after I got the admission tickets to buy the flight tickets.

Thank you for these memories, thank you for enjoyment for the past 12 weeks, thank you JimmySea. I will cherish this forever 💜💙