#AND SO SAD AND HEARTBREAKING UGH

[zoyazenik]

— You’ve made me realize my deepest fear

taglist 🦋: @samwilsonns, @kiara-carrera, @fleetwoodmcs, @dio-nysvs @lizziesxltzmxn, @villanele, @daisyjohvson, @arrthurpendragon, @aaudace, @julianblackthcrns, @richitozier, @megdonnellys, @anotherunreadblog, @prosemoireia, @luucypevensie, @chlobenet, @eddysocs, @phoebestarks, @stareyedplanet, @waterloou, @raith-way, @jvstjewels, @anita-alice

[want to be added or removed?]

[fat-butch-dyke]

Yugi hears about the AtemAI that Kaiba crafted and he tries to pretend he doesn't care, that he doesn't need it, that its almost sad Kaiba can't just let him go. But it's all a farce, he can't help himself, he just...he needs to see it. He needs to meet it, to know that it's not actually Atem. Of course Kaiba couldn't have brought him back from the dead.

And he feels stupid for the whole trip, either he breaks in or he asks Kaiba to check it out or he hacks into their software, no matter how he gets to it, he feels ridiculous. His palms are sweaty and his heart is racing and he stares across the empty space between them to meet those achingly familiar eyes. He sees that smile, quirked up just a bit to the left and so shockingly real it makes Yugi sick. And of course it doesn't know him, it's not actually Atem, there's no way it could be-

"Partner," it calls him, it's eyes crinkling at the corners just like Atem's would and Yugi just stares. He can't feel his feet and his knees almost give out and he's shaking but it's crossing the distance between them looking almost excited, duel disk forgotten on its arm. "Partner?"

And Yugi is weak, he can't help it, he feels himself breaking as he collapses again it. It feels so real, so sturdy and strong holding him up, Kaiba really is a genius. An evil, cruel genius.

"Yugi," it says softly and Yugi's heart shatters, his last shred of dignity gone as he surges up to wrap his arms around it's neck, to press his lips against it's own, to cling to it so tightly maybe it won't leave him. And it's surprised, blinking slowly as Yugi just holds it tighter, practically begging it to give him anything.

And it does. It's slow and methodical, like it doesn't know what it's doing or maybe like it's shy. It's cold in the literal sense, much like he remembered Atem feeling when they'd touch while in their soul rooms. It's fingers like small icicles trailing over his scalp and sending shivers through him, making him choke on another sob. And it holds him. It trails it's hands down his back and it kisses the top of his head and it whispers to him so, so gently.

"Partner, Yugi, Yugi, Yugi-"

"Stay with me," he begs, gripping the hologram impossibly tighter. It looks almost sad when their eyes meet, the deep magenta of it's irises shimmering lightly. "Don't leave me, you should have stayed. Please I'm so sorry-"

It holds him tighter and it let's him cry.

And it's the closest thing to closure Yugi ever really gets.

[bumblingbabooshka]

 🗣🚨 YAOI ALERT 🚨🗣 [TEXT: Neelix took a seat next to Tuvok. He hoped the Vulcan would make some comment about his story, but a long silence ensued. Neelix found himself feeling unaccountably nervous, reading into Tuvok's silence a general disapproval - and yet, what could he expect? From the moment they first met, Tuvok had been aloof and judgmental. Nonetheless, his opinion mattered to Neelix, and so, inwardly chastising himself for doing so, he turned to the somber man. "So, Mr. Vulcan...what did you think of my story?" Another silence. Neelix felt himself begin to perspire. Why wasn't Tuvok answering him? Had he embarrassed himself that fully? He felt his heart beating in his chest. "I know I've done some awful things in my life," he stammered, "but I've tried to make up for them. I hope you won't hold what I've told you against me..." He trailed off lamely, his words sounding hollow. Tuvok turned slowly to look at him, his dark visage glistening in the heat of the setting sun. His eyes seemed to pierce Neelix's brain. He stared like that for a full moment before he spoke. "I found it an exceptional story. You have complexities, and courage, I would never have imagined." Neelix couldn't believe what he was hearing - Tuvok was actually complimenting him! He felt a little shiver of pleasure, but he couldn't for the life of him think of anything to say in return...] Source: Pathfinders by Jeri Taylor

[tytangfei]

some people are upset about yuan qi/ gu jin being so flippant about godhood and not wanting to return to the god realm. I support him wholeheartedly. I watched his god mother shang gu--who technically birthed him but wasn't the same immortal mother Hou chi who carried him for months and loved him and expected his birth with joy--leave him for hundreds or thousands of years. It wasn't HER, not really, and frankly I've not forgiven her for this.

[sysig]

One better (Patreon)

[overwhelming-thoughtss]

how are people functioning adults? it doesn’t make sense.. its not fair. its not fair that they wake up with optimism and drive for the day, while i wake up with fatigue and nausea. its not fair that they have goals and dreams, while i didnt even think id live to be this old. its not fair that they are social, happy and enjoy being around others while i have to hibernate in my room.. it doesn’t make any sense and its just not fair

[wrongcaitlyn]

heyy! can you make an apollo time line?? like until before talk your talk starts. i'm so confused

YES okay so i have a very detailed outline in my docs (aka for all the stuff i want to eventually cover in the memoir) but those contain a lot of spoilers so i'm going to give a brief outline of all the main events, just so that the timeline makes sense bc i totally get it - i, too, was very confused by my own timeline when first writing this fic. the amount of shifting and adjustments of it... yeah it was very confusing bc i kept putting off *making* a timeline for apollo and instead just throwing random bits and pieces of lore at him😭

SO here's the official talk your talk apollo timeline

1979

April 8: Apollo is born

1995

July (age 16): Apollo's debut album is released (at this point in time, he has already been in the film industry for years as a child actor, as well as various other smaller gigs/singles. He, before this, has also signed a 5-album contract with his father's record label.)

1998

October - December (age 19): Naomi/Apollo relationship (bonus fun fact: the billboard music awards were on december 7, 1998. This is about nine months before august 23, 1999. do with this information what you will.)

1999

August 23 (age 20): Will Solace is born

2000

June (age 21): at some point, a one night stand with Latricia Lake September 15 - October 1: Sydney Summer Olympics, Darren and Apollo first meeting (they continue to have an on and off relationship from 2000-2003, not really a committed relationship though)

2001

February 28: Austin Lake is born

2003

July (age 24): Darren and Apollo start dating officially

2004

January: Apollo's fifth album is released early March: Apollo and Darren break up mid March: Apollo's tour for the album starts April 1: Kayla Knowles is born late April (age 25): Apollo calls off his contract, doesn't extend his contract, and publicly breaks ties with his father's record label/management. The tour is cancelled, and Apollo disappears from the public eye - but not before "coming out" (this was largely seen as speculation/rumors, not an actual confirmation of his sexuality, and largely forgotten by fans) August 13 - 29: Athens Summer Olympics, Darren and Apollo final meeting (until 2019)

2007

March (age 27): Naomi Solace dies of a stroke before a concert on her tour May (age 28): Will moves in with Apollo

2010

November (age 31): Apollo meets Leo December: Kayla moves in

2011

March: Apollo meets Nico

okay i THINK those are all the important dates/events - hope it all makes sense!! if there are any questions abt apollo's backstory, or just general questions about this timeline (or, if there's an inconsistency that i somehow missed- for some reason, the first time i wrote this timeline, i wrote that kayla was conceived at the 2004 olympics. which makes. zero sense. seeing as she was born in april of that year. so yeah.) but anyway!! i love talking abt apollo and i realize there is a LOT of lore/backstory around him that i haven't gotten around to explaining, and i love rambling. thank you so much for the ask!!

[oflights]

The Two-Headed Calf

Tomorrow when the farm boys find this freak of nature, they will wrap his body in newspaper and carry him to the museum.

But tonight he is alive and in the north field with his mother. It is a perfect summer evening: the moon rising over the orchard, the wind in the grass. And as he stares into the sky, there are twice as many stars as usual.

Laura Gilpin

[mymarifae]

god. meru. specifically nightcord at 25:00's cover of meru

[mmmmmgoodbye]

both yue qingyuan and lan xichen are such,,,,, sad characters

like. yqy, of his own volition, didn’t talk to shen jiu about why he “didn’t come back.” he didn’t even try to fix their relationship in a meaningful way, by at least attempting to talk it out, because of what, a guilt complex? I mean, yikes, but that’s kind of your fault.

and then. and then! shen jiu dies, and yqy never finds out. he contents himself with this facsimile of the man he near crippled his cultivation for, and never finds out that all of shen qingqiu’s debatable happiness isn’t shen jiu’s. to confess his mistakes to someone who doesn’t have any personal lot in the matter—that’s really terrible. that’s private stuff.

and then we’ve got lan xichen. one of his sworn brothers kills the other (unless 3zun, which would make it so much worse). to make matters worse, he trusts the killer pretty much above all else, and then it turns out he’s been lead by the nose the whole time? the breach of trust! the heartbreak of it! lan xichen owes meng yao a life debt, yes? for sheltering him after cloud recesses burns. he’s so confident in meng yao’s character; it was proved to him in the very beginning. afaik, lan xichen was the only one meng yao never really moved against. but lan xichen is also devoted to lan wangji, and his sect, and nie mingjue, and it’s just… so sad, really. I don’t think lan xichen ever truly recovers from the betrayal of it.

and then he just… secludes himself. indefinitely. forever? who knows. he ruminates on his failure of nmj and lwj, on his blindness to jgy’s true face, on the years he lived in jgy’s friendship (or more. they could’ve been fucking. who’s to say? maybe they were in love). there’s no closure for him. it’s all happened, everything’s been done. he can’t change it. you can’t… you can’t come back from that, not without help. he isolates himself. it’s heartbreaking.

conclusion: therapy. lots of therapy. so much therapy. for both of them.

[vilevampire]

someday in this fandom I'll get dragged into drama over controversial ship opinions and when that happens I want you all to remember me fondly because frankly I will drop dead on the spot

[gothicvalentine]

As You Grieve, Your Brain Redraws Its Neural Map | Psychology Today

[louismygf]

guess i'll die! 🤷🏻‍♀️

[overwhelming-thoughtss]

now i’ve got you on my mind and im wondering tonight, if we couldve been more… but we were left unfinished

noah cyrus

[idealisticrealism]

Armony Scene List and Timeline (S2)

Just realised that this never actually showed up in the tags bc I initially added it as a reblog to the S1 timeline post. So for anyone who's interested, here's round 2 of The Cleaning Lady/Armony scenes.

Season 2:

(TL;DR: season 2 takes place over approximately 45 days, meaning both seasons 1 and 2 together take place over a total of about 98 days, give or take a few.)

Will post a (very depressing) Season 3 edition sometime after the finale.

[ventus-selphus]

i hate how active my mind gets right before im about to go to bed