#Gods this was a hard scene to read - there have been several instances of my face hurting from furrowing my brow so hard haha

[sysig]

One better (Patreon)

[randomness-is-my-order]

from the start, i’ve mainly been praising the show and have spoken against the minor nitpicks but i think some constructive criticism won’t go amiss. i’m always going to advocate for praise + critique but since literally all my posts praise the show (character-work, writing, directing, cinematography, literally all aspects) i’ll focus on the main issues i have with it for this one.

i’m only saying this because i do think there is merit to the conversation: yes, i agree with many other people saying the show has a very real lack of tension. the stakes are established, potential horrific consequences are alluded to, but the instances in which the action needs to take place falls short. i wanted to see percy and annabeth and grover SHOWING their inexperience through stumbling on traps (which would automically raise the tension in both medusa’s lair and the lotus casino), i wanted them to make mistakes and quick-think their way out of it. sure, there’s something to be said about conveying annabeth’s intelligence but aunty em was a great way of highlighting percy & annabeth’s dyslexia by having them be unable to read the signs. the statues could have been removed from the yard–a move that would show medusa’s intelligence instead. similarly, the fun of the lotus casino was about the creepiness that slowly and steadily builds on the backdrop of this harmless kid carival like setting. percy, annabeth and grover’s intelligence and knowledge has already been built in other obstacles so seeing them actually fall for well-set traps seems to me like a much more nuanced portrayal of the kids, their capabilities but also their weaknesses. speaking of, i was waiting for one moment of annabeth making some mistake, showing some flaw. i think it would have been cool if she was the one to lose her drachma given that she was undoubtedly jostled hard while clinging to the cerberus. grover already felt like he messed up after the lotus casino and having percy reassure annabeth after her drachma screwup would really nail in that yeah she’s intelligent and wise but she is also just 12 and she can be a bit reckless too.

honestly, i’m a sucker for flaws. i love my emotional percabeth bits to death but would i have rejoiced just as much had both of them been a little more unempathetic towards each other and been at each other’s throats for a few more episodes? yes.

i love show grover and his earnestness and savagery in manipulating a god but do i love my little coward goat boy who slowly but surely proves himself to be capable and brave? who keeps asking for food at the most inopportune moments but really has percy’s back at the end of the day? who is severely unconfident but slowly learns to trust himself more? yes! i just feel like the grover we have now was my imagining of grover in book 2-3. we never got to see his major flaws so i’m just wondering what kind of upward arc will he have and will it be as impressive as the books.

i really really appreciated that percy’s impertinence was actually something he paid a price for. it will make his continued rebellion against the gods that much more intentional. that said, i would have liked percy’s relative ignorance of the mythic world to still remain. having sally make him so prepared that he sometimes manages to know obscure greek stories sort of blends their roles in the trio. yes, each one of them is layered and there is no one super rigid position they must adhere to but this is storytelling on television at the end of the day, the characters should have unique traits to distinguish themselves. for me, percy’s intelligence was about his presence of mind and deductive reasoning which the lotus casino scene in the book beautifully portrays. similarly, his knowledge was less about facts he knew and more about the street smarts he had acquired. in some way, annabeth and percy have a weird overlap in characteristics (show annabeth feels as sassy as show percy which is not the book dynamic imo).

i don’t see these as minor nitpicks btw – i think show portrayals have changed these characters through small changes and while that is okay, it also leaves room for improvement before it is too late. there are many considerations to be made–percy’s grief, annabeth’s tackling of complex feelings about the gods, grover’s guilt, ofc. but it’s, i think, a valid critique of the show that the main trio’s dialogue and actions could be made more faithful to the books.

also, i think the direction can be more dynamic, especially in exposition-heavy scenes. there are ways to make info-dumping fun and i’m sure the directors are more than capable of exploring these options moving forward.

there are many more smaller things i would point out but i don’t want to make this longer that it already is. many people handwave alot of the critique saying that the show is for children to which i say: children’s media doesn’t mean lesser quality media–the books were literally made for children yet on tv, many scenes are sanitised, very little left not on-the-nose. i have myself mentioned how certain scenes could be impossible to film with 12 yr olds (medusa beheading) without harming them mentally in some way so i appreciate the clever sanitization there. but the action sequences do need much more edge and that’s okay to acknowledge. the show we have now is great but it is absolutely not without flaws and normalising discussion about the flaws is only going to benefit the show moving forward.

and lastly, rick might be the author of the books but there is no rule that once you like an author’s work, you will have to like all of that author’s writing. just because rick made some final decisions does not take away the fandom’s rights to question those decisions and critique the screenwriting. there is seriously no use putting him on a pedestal–and i say this as someone who adores his writing in pjo.

let’s let the fandom breathe a little. let the mild, politely conveyed critique become commonplace as much as the ardent praise because i think that’s the balance we need to ensure that season two delivers on all the fronts that season one was unable to.

that’s all. thanks for reading lol. have a nice day. :))

[laxmiree]

[CN] MLQC Lucien's Through Thousands of Mirrors event translation (Day 1 -Thursday)

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT ⚠️

This post contains a HEAVY SPOILER for the event that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

Through Thousands of Mirrors Event | Day 1 (You're here!) | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7 | HS/Uni SSR Story: Monochrome Scenery

-

[Tidbits: I don't wanna break the flow so I'll put some information here first 😂. Dr. Lawson is Lucien's post-grad professor. Before, he also appears in UR MQ Distant Similarity. During his post-grad he has three seniors Colt, Elliot, and Caroline.]

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[Math]

Seeing the particularly puzzled expression on the classmate next to him, Lucien starts to consider whether he should offer some assistance within his capabilities.

For instance, he thinks about telling the classmate that the topic currently being discussed on the blackboard is not from the same chapter as the one in the textbook he's currently reading.

-

[MATH/BIOCHEMISTRY]

After the vending machine devours Lucien's one dollar and twenty-five cents for the third time, and with only three minutes left to get to his next class, he begins to seriously contemplate whether he should try some mysterious repair method—like giving it a good smack or a swift kick.

-

[BIOCHEMISTRY]

Lucien coincidentally runs into Colt by the sports field, just as Colt is about to attend a cricket practice session.

Upon realizing that his senior from the lab is not only managing coursework and a significant project workload but also juggling a 20-hour weekly part-time job and daily school cricket team training, Lucien begins to contemplate whether there is any room for further optimization in his own schedule.

-

[PREVIEW/COMPUTER SCIENCE]

During the brief half-hour period, Lucien typically uses the time to prepare for the upcoming class or visit the library to research and gather information.

In any case, that time should not be spent on arguing and explaining to people, like the enthusiastic campus volunteer in front of him.

"No, thank you. I'm not a high school student attending a summer camp. This is my student ID, and I'm indeed a student here, a graduate student. Yes, I'm not lost, and I need to get to my class. Can you please let me go?"

-

[COMPUTER SCIENCE]

Lucien presses the enter key, intending to ask the teacher if he can leave early once his coursework is done. However, the error message on the screen deters him from that thought. So, he sits back down and begins to examine it again.

But that's okay, he does understand the commonality between computer science and experimental research: it's often hard to know right away if the thing at hand will work, why it's not working, or even why it's even working.

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[LAB]

Come on, come on, come on. After moving this box, there's another.

And after moving that box, there are three more to go.

The prospects for the future and the shine in one's eyes are often taken away by the God of research in such necessary yet mechanical repetitive work.

-

[LAB]

Lucien goes out to get some water and returns to find a school burger on his desk.

Colt, with dark circles under his eyes, waves at Lucien and saying, "No need to thank me, newcomer. Have some food, we might be staying here today."

Lucien quietly eats the burger, hesitant to tell Colt that he has spent more time in the laboratory than in the dorm.

-

[LAB]

When Dr. Lawson enters the laboratory, what he sees is a scene where his graduate and doctoral students are sleeping and sprawled all over the place.

On the laboratory whiteboard, several words were written in large letters: "Publish immediately! Guaranteed to be published in Nature!!"

Dr. Lawson retrieves small blankets from the cabinet, covering each of these research madmen.

He proceeds to organize the data and take over the finishing work on the project. Of course, when it comes to authorship in the paper, not a single one of these kids' names can be left out.

[scorbleeo]

Book Chat: God of Ruin

Legacy of Gods (Book 4) by Rina Kent

Source: Google Images

I’m out for revenge. After careful planning, I gave the man who messed with my family a taste of his own medicine. I thought it’d end there. It didn’t. Landon King is a genius artist, a posh rich boy, and my worst nightmare. He’s decided that I’m the new addition to his chess game. Too bad for him, I’m no pawn. If he hits, I hit back, twice as hard and with the same hostility. He says he’ll ruin me. Little does he know that ruination goes both ways.

Source: Goodreads (2023)

I'm Embarrassed

I really did not do God of Ruin justice. My only goal to reading this book was finishing it so I could get into the next book immediately. That being said, I entered the Rina Kent universe only for Brandon and Nikolai, so by default, only for God of Fury. Knowing that is the next book in the reading order, I was breezing through God of Ruin like it was unimportant. When I say I sped-read through this book, I truly meant it, I probably missed a ton of sentences and with that, some minute details.

Now, going on to the review, this is the first book in the Legacy of Gods series where I felt the first half was bad and it got better afterwards. Let me put it this way, I was bored through the first half which made speeding through it a lot easier than usual. Unlike many, I never hated Landon before God of Ruin but because of that, he was nothing fascinating here. He even annoyed me several times initially.

Thus, when his eventual and gradual character arc redemption arrived, I wasn't wow-ed by it. Just felt like it was something Kent had to write because all her characters must not be horrible at the end of the day, right? I know I sound bitter here but that's because God of Ruin really was very average.

The character arc redemption was one thing. But the trauma plot? So weak. Mia's entire character ever since she was 8 was due to the trauma she suffered but the resolution was not even half-assed, it was less than that. Why give Mia such a character, have plenty of pages to foreshadow and yet the final countdown was so pathetic? Personally, I think the biggest problem with the trauma plot was that Kent did not know when or how to foreshadow it through the book. This would have been such a kickass final countdown scene yet ultimately, it fell flat, so very flat.

One last thing, I am aware Kent might be having fatigue from writing stories in this universe now, which I completely get. Because not only do we have the same kind of characters in the same series (Killian, Creighton, Landon and since she's been hinting at it, Eli), her writing for God of Ruin was sloppy. I will just use one example: In Chapter 33, due to Mia's friendship with Jeremy, Landon said he will bump Jeremy up to the top of his shit list. You know who else who happened to be very different from Landon said a similar sentence? Nikolai, to Mia, about Brandon, earlier in this book.

I do want to justify Kent's sloppy writing to her fatigue for this world, and I will. Unfortunately, Kent's lines around all her characters are becoming muddled. Not only are so many of her characters similar, she's using very specific sayings for characters that should not have had those same kinds of sayings. This is not the first time I caught it but this series had multiple of this instances, I have had enough and need to point it out.

Despite this entire post being filled with complains, I like God of Ruin. I just think Kent should not have written them all one after another. Someone, or many, should have told her to take a break, write something else in between and clear her mind of this world for a while. Because back in her first series, all the guys and the ladies had such distinctive personalities yet in this series...

Rating: ★★★☆☆

More on the Legacy of Gods series here: God of Malice (#1) | God of Pain (#2) | God of Wrath (#3)

[apoptoses]

Did exactly as you said and read chapter 4. It’s now 3 hours later and I’m still in pieces. Took another nap but I still feel so emotionally/physically drained lmao I was genuinely sobbing into my pillow and I had to pause several times to either marinate in my feelings or play a song that I thought fit the scene I’d just read (literally listened to Instant Crush by Daft Punk ft. Julian Casablancas 3 times at one point like... “that summer memory that just never dies, we worked too long and hard to give it no time. He sees right through me, it's so easy with lies, cracks in the road that I would try and disguise. He runs the scissors at the seam in the wall. He cannot break it down or else he would fall. One thousand lonely stars hiding in the cold”). Babes I was going THROUGH IT. So hopefully this makes sense🤞

"That first conversation in it was entirely redone thanks to you ♥” god I’m so flattered! It was absolute perfection and it hurt so good. I have no idea how it used to look before our conversation but the way you had Armand on the verge on a panic attack? with everything crumbling down around him during those brief moments in which he thought he’d lost Daniel again... stunning. "How could you possibly think saying something like that is fair when just last night I told you how your running affected me? Am I meant to be kept on the pillory for this entire trip while you come away unscathed?" Armand asked. "It's not fair, Daniel." NO IT’S NOT, and Daniel owning up to it and trying to comfort him even in the middle of a fight was so lovely, so him. 

This though: “There’s a part near the back, the purple post it? Read me that part,” Daniel said. “I want to hear it from your own mouth.” NO. LISTEN. I  put down my phone, phisically backed away from it and said “OH SHIT”. It was fucking brutal and I was speechless. My favorite bit so far I think but I’m not sure if I’m brave enough to actually read it again. Wow. 

And I just love your use of rain as a motif here, and the weather in general, them driving through a thunderstorm both externally and internally is such a great choice. And how them getting through the worst part meant they were almost there. Besides, rain was also a thing in canon for them, and I’d like to think Anne made a deliberate choice when she gave them their first “big” moment together in years, alone in the rain, like you did here. In both instances it feels like it’s about washing away regrets, insecurities, doubts, and finally having them see each other as they are. 

“I want the Armand that woke up excited every day looking for a new adventure, where has that part of you gone? Did it really die with me?” Yeah THIS. I think it’s something that gets brough up often in fandom conversations (maybe not as explicitly as you put it here but it’s the underlying message we’ve been trying to convey imo). How serious, stiff, aloof Armand seems in later books, like he’s just going through the motions, only kind of coming back to life whenever Lestat is around or something’s happened to him. But that overly excited, curious, affectionate, intense young man we met in QotD seems to be gone for good. Like that’s a version of him nobody but Daniel met (maybe only the boys at the palazzo? but that was Amadeo, not Armand, so it’s not the same), only to disappear forever after Daniel left. Seeing Armand tell him that he also misses that part of himself and wants to recover it felt like a punch in the gut. 

“Wondered what exactly it was that had turned his emotions into these calcified things that were trapped inside of him, impossible for anyone to excise no matter how much they loved him.Perhaps it was Marius. Something passed on in the blood, a genetic indisposition to being vulnerable. Or perhaps it was that first assailant who had forced himself inside of Armand and in doing so stole the memories from his brain and tied his tongue in a knot so tight he was rendered unable to speak. Or was it the rejections he’d endured that had solidified the belief that he was a tainted and an unloved thing? Or- worst of all- maybe it was some inherent quality of his own. Some flaw of the personality, as immutable as the length of his hair or the color of his eyes. Forever frozen in time by his immortal blood”. Fuck. I mean we know others have wondered. Marius said just as much at some point didn’t he? How he thought Amadeo’s eyes had been “cruel” even as a mortal boy, how there was something innately wrong with him that he couldn’t wipe away even with all the love in the world. And then Armand himself saying how he feels there’s an “eternal winter” inside of him, how everything he holds in his hands, as you put it, “crumbles into dust”. GOD.

And then when Daniel started sobbing? I WAS SOBBING. Armand feeling like he had to get out of the car to comfort him or otherwise he’d lose him for good broke me. 

“There was no real need for him to look over to change lanes, except the desire to catch another glimpse of Daniel’s curious expression. Armand’s heart fluttered fast as Amadeo’s when their eyes met. “What was that look for?” Daniel asked. “Nothing. I was only checking the traffic.” AWWWW my babies, I love them sm they’re getting there!!! 🥹 And I LOVE how you keep building up that kiss they haven’t had yet. I have no doubt it’ll live up to the hype. Every single line in this is canon to me ofc you’re incredible xoxo DA ❤️

DA, I'm so glad you survived it haha

I have no idea how it used to look before our conversation but the way you had Armand on the verge on a panic attack? with everything crumbling down around him during those brief moments in which he thought he’d lost Daniel again... stunning.

Yeah, in draft one Daniel kinda just....got away with it haha Armand got called out for pushing him away when he was just trying to comfort him, but Daniel caught no flack at all for running off and didn't apologize and I thought NOPE, no that's wrong. They gotta touch on that problem and Armand can't let this trip just be the Roast of Armand de Romanus. So. There :) I'm glad it worked!! I think the story is much better for it.

It is a topic they bump up against again but that's a quieter, less charged moment.

The book conversation though! I wanted THAT to happen for a long time. What's more brutal than being forced to read out your own words and explain them? Nothing!! And I think it's something that was on Daniel's mind the first time he ever read that part. He wanted to hear it from Armand's mouth because he couldn't believe it was real.

Besides, rain was also a thing in canon for them, and I’d like to think Anne made a deliberate choice when she gave them their first “big” moment together in years, alone in the rain, like you did here. In both instances it feels like it’s about washing away regrets, insecurities, doubts, and finally having them see each other as they are. 

Thank you!! I really wanted them to HAVE to drive slow, to need to stop at some point. And rain was the best way to do it. I actually forgot it was raining the night Daniel died! It's such a nice accidental parallel.

How serious, stiff, aloof Armand seems in later books, like he’s just going through the motions, only kind of coming back to life whenever Lestat is around or something’s happened to him.

Right! I think about it a lot. I mean, it makes sense in the wake of his attempt at going into the sun. Depression isn't cured just because he survived. But it's really strange that he's got two fledglings living in his home and he just doesn't seem happy. It's like he never did the work to figure out what made him so unhappy in the first place, so Daniel has to push him to look at that and figure it out.

Fuck. I mean we know others have wondered. Marius said just as much at some point didn’t he? How he thought Amadeo’s eyes had been “cruel” even as a mortal boy, how there was something innately wrong with him that he couldn’t wipe away even with all the love in the world. And then Armand himself saying how he feels there’s an “eternal winter” inside of him, how everything he holds in his hands, as you put it, “crumbles into dust”. GOD.

Exactly. I don't think he's cruel like Marius characterized him. I think he's traumatized, he's had C-PTSD immortalized into his veins via the blood. The eternal winter in him is just all the things he never worked through and that Daniel is going to ask him to sort through now so he can understand him and start to heal with ihm.

And then when Daniel started sobbing? I WAS SOBBING. Armand feeling like he had to get out of the car to comfort him or otherwise he’d lose him for good broke me. 

Armand is a good boyfriend at heart 🥹 He's been so paralyzed up to this point and now he's taking action! He can do better he can be better!

I love them sm they’re getting there!!! 🥹 And I LOVE how you keep building up that kiss they haven’t had yet. I have no doubt it’ll live up to the hype.

They're trying hard! That first kiss- it's a lot, it's explosive! And a lot of softer kisses are sure to follow. I hope it stands up to whatever you're hoping for ♥

You're incredible for delivering these reviews right to my inbox!! I'm so happy you like it 🥹

[komilys]

*crashes into your inbox* SO, I heard you’re self shipping with Ciel Phantomhive-

How about ● Ichi ● , ○ Ni ○ and ○ Yon ○ for him for that ask game?

Sorry for suddenly coming at you like that, but Ciel has been my favourite character for years and it’s exciting to see someone self shipping with him.

– villain-in-love

yes!! i love ciel so much, i’ve been self shipping with him for forever <3 qq hoping the manga comes back to him soon. no worries !! i love asks , feel free to crash into my inbox any time!

04/04: THIS TOOK FOREVER IM SO SORRY @villain-in-love

ichi — what’s a song (or several) that captures the dynamic you have together?

three vastly different songs… this took me a long time!! i’m bad at songs too!! (rip)

glue song ; beabadoobee

useess ; omar apollo

back to the old house ; the smiths

ni — did the meeting between you go?

good god, bare with me.

my self ship with ciel has always been based in this one fanfic i read on quotev, now deleted— rest in peace! it’s one of those that’s based in a modern + fan reader accidentally stumbling into the kuroshitsuji universe. the fanfic only ever made it to the start of the circus arc before being deleted, unfortunately!!

i’ve actually been so occupied with thinking about the recent chapters and arcs that i’ve completely ignored the meeting! so firstly i fall out of the sky.

yeah.

after that, really, it’s just a matter of ciel and sebastian questioning me, as i wonder what the hell is happening ! how do i get home ! what is going on !

funnily enough, i remember a scene from the fic going along that ciel finds a little plush keychain of him (seeing as your a fan) and he’s wondering what the fuck is wrong with you, probably assuming you have nefarious intentions because why else do you have a small plush of him.

our entire meeting is just me desperately trying to convince him to not lock me up (i’m not a criminal, i swear!) and somehow trying to get him to believe the unbelievable (i.e. his entire world is fictional to me, nothing he knows is real). the only reason he kept me around, actually, is because he figured i might’ve been able to help if i really did know everything in this ‘story’.

i did not help. in fact, i was a nuisance.

yon — capture two important memories in this ship

i’ve thought about the second one, so, so much, actually.

getting stabbed during the ripper arc!! lol!!! (it’s not fun, actually.)

important for myself / komie but i think it would also qualify as being important to ciel and komie.

the first instance of me actually getting hurt, also the thing that makes me realise… oh… right.. because this worlds really dangerous— more specifically the fact i’m so close (in proximity, at least) to ciel.

this would be really the first time ciel is ever genuine, just fully transparent with him. he says he won’t let komie die, if he’s worried about that. he says thank you, and offers ciel to call him ‘ki’ as a nickname, if he’d like. ciel doesn’t take the offer, but it’s a kind moment they share nonetheless.

being split up during the campania and bizarre doll incident (luxury liner arc)

ohoo..ooohhooo… oh i love this one!

first instance of komie majorly shifting a plot point!! hooray!

rather than lizzy and ciel being trapped in the boiler room, ki gets trapped !! oh no!! thank god he knows to vent!!

getting ciel to leave me alone was actually hard, he didn’t want me to die— not to mention lizzy wouldn’t budge. it took a quick ‘i’m fine, i know this, ciel, trust me, you know i can.’ to get him off, but eventually he let go.

the luxury liner arc is sort of the official start of ciel’s feelings by the way, i would say they were budding.. feelings a little earlier than this, but this is definitely where it starts. ciel and ki don’t get reunited until the ship really starts going down, around the time they run into undertaker carrying the machine, actually!

keep in mind, ciel this entire time was thinking i have to be dead, there’s no way he got out, edward even said he wasn’t on a boat yet.

so ooohhh.. he sees ki just walking behind undertaker and these other people carrying the machine that could quite possibly save the ship? oh, oh he’s relieved! and annoyed! and upset!

i was going to write a short snippet but then i thought, no…. also it’s already been like a couple of weeks.

the luxury liner as a whole is an important arc for the relationship, but being seperate i think is almost like the climax of it all.

i think when he finally runs back into komie with the undertaker he’s relieved, but the irritation gets the better of him and he grabs him by the arms, harshly. (harshest he’s ever been with him, really). he starts calling me an idiot (that’s not new), but he’s angry, and he starts yelling.

he was a lot more worried about komie than he’d admit, a lot more than he thought. he only lets go when komie says he’s holding too tight.

komie’s just staring, startled and confused, while he yells at him, looking back between ciel and sebastian— as if asking ‘you know what’s goin’ on?’

ciel, he says, and he says again louder this time when he doesn’t listen— “we have to go,” and he tugs on the younger boy’s arm, much gentler than the grip ciel has on him.

it takes a moment for him to regain his composure, but he lets go, backs up closer to sebastian.

komie looks at him. “your leg doesn’t hurt? sebastian should carry you.” he turns his attention to sebastian, before turning back towards the group carrying the machine— who’d earlier stopped to stare at the random screaming kid— to follow them.

he stares. “right.”

it’s an awkward walk to the hall (for both of them).

[cosmic-navel-gazin]

Compassionate aliens, Crime lords and Cat cafés

 There’s this one scene in Hard to be a God... this one small, easily overlooked little scene... I’ll never forget about it for as long as I live.

It’s not like it’s THE most important scene plotwise, or that it sets up this big reveal later on, or anything like that. I just... I love it tremendously, I kiss its forehead tenderly and tuck it in every night, so I wanted to write down some thoughts on it.

 @razielim​ I’m gonna talk about the beginning of Chapter 3, I go beast mode on this one and I can’t even tell anymore if it’s too spoilery for you so I’m hiding this under the ‘keep reading’ for your sake, you can try and dip in if you want

Let me just set the stage first in case someone is reading and has no idea what I’m talking about:

In the novel Hard to be a God, our main character Don Rumata (real name Anton), is a man from a future spacefaring utopian Earth. He is one of several people who have been sent as undercover operatives of the Institute of Experimental History, to an alien planet similar to Earth during the middle ages. He's been living there incognito for the last 5 years, masquerading as one of the feudal lords of a medieval-europe-like nation. Ethical dilemmas ensue on the moral responsibility to do good and how these earthlings should intervene in the development of alien civilizations and It's *chef's kiss* muah! it’s good shit. It might very well be my favourite take on the "Who Watches the Watchers" type of story, but that’s its own 1.000+ page essay, not what I wanna focus on right now.

Okay so, It's the very beginning of Chapter 3, and it starts with our boy Rumata daydreaming about kidnapping this Waga the Wheel character, a man infamously known as the uncontested head of all the local criminal forces, and bring him to Earth for observation. The goal? Well, Rumata hopes that this radical change in environment could lead the old man to hopefully turn over a new leaf. Without his complex web of murderers and thugs under his guidance, and really no need for it on the peaceful post-scarcity idyllic Earth, what would this “spider” do there? Maybe... maybe he could dedicate himself to the noble art of cat caretaking!

Yes! This is real! Here it is for your viewing pleasure:

I just, I'm not exactly sure I can explain why I love this passage so much. I want to try and do it justice without just going: 

Come look at this! Can you believe it? The alien man, Don "i could fix him" Rumata, wants to kidnap the ruthless cold-blooded criminal mastermind and take him to his home planet so the aforementioned monster can focus on playing with cat instead of doing evil!!!

It's more than that, although, that is amazing in and of itself...

Like, this isn’t the only neat instance of daydreaming about kidnapping people and taking them to Earth either (I love the other ones too). And I also don’t just love it because it shows that my boy believes in The Healing Therapeutic Power of Cat.

I mean all those things help, but I think this stuck with me because in addition to all of that, it’s such a good early nugget that encapsulates the growing schism in Rumata’s psyche in an unexpected endearing yet sad way.

So, first of all I feel it’s important to really look at the person this daydreaming scenario is referring to, because of what it masterfully says about our main character without pulling attention to it. 

So, in the previous chapter Rumata explains how much contempt he feels towards this Waga lad, saying that he 

“inspired an extreme disgust in him but was occasionally immensely useful—literally irreplaceable”

, someone who interested him “as a scientific specimen”,

  “a most curious exhibit in his collection of medieval monsters”.

In this chapter, while the hypothetical kidnapping bit starts out as just a curious thought experiment, he then starts saying things like:

 “You know, the old man might sicken. He’d probably even waste away.”,

and

 “After all, it can’t be the case that he doesn’t have a single small, harmless hobby—which only gets in his way here, but there could become the meaning of his life. I think he likes cats. ”

 And I’m over here just- god damn it if this isn’t a great showcase of our boy trying to hold on to his humanist ideals and identity while simultaneously growing hateful by having to interact some of the most detestable of people. He can’t help but care about this old man’s well-being. while simultaneously despising him. And he can’t help feeling that especially because he has always been accutely aware of how environmental factors influence people: that had Waga and the people around him in general been born on Earth instead, that they would’ve turned out quite different.

On Rumata struggling in balancing his love and hatred we get another shift in personality in the scene that comes right after the hypothetical kidnapping. It’s great too because it adds, I want to say, the last piece of the magnificent triad that makes up the growing fragmented psyche of our boy. We’ve seen in these segments:

 the level-headed historian;

the compassionate humanist;

and now we’re going to get the haughty noble bastard.

So after the meeting with Waga and thinking about kidnapping him, Rumata suddenly realises that his coin purse has disappeared. He’s there, in the middle of the street in distress, fiddling around in his pockets, when two lads start poking fun at him:

I mean, it’s right there: 

“ The employee of the Institute couldn’t care less, but the noble Don Rumata of Estor went berserk. For a second he lost control of himself.”

 He then realizes in horror that he would’ve cut them down into pieces if they hadn’t cleared out, that: 

“They would have been lying here like pig carcasses, and I’d be standing here with a sword in my hand and wouldn’t have known what to do. Some god! Turning into a savage …”

This is the very next page after the whole cat thing I mean....arghhh it pisses me off it’s so good! You are never left with just one of these personas for too long a stretch of time (it helps build the growing feeling of uneasiness the book’s going for too). One is always coming right after the other in a very organic way, so much so that it makes the authors look like professional court jesters (affectionate), juggling all these disparate personalities without breaking a sweat. There are moments later on when you start to feel like you can't even tell where one begins and the other ends, as they become more and more dilluted. The historian, the humanist and the noble bastard, are all on the cockpit, fighting for control of the mecha man-god who wants to intervene but doesn't know how and is afraid of what happens when he does.

Honestly it's something I want to focus on more when I do a second reading: this rythm to Rumata’s train of thought and how his mind is always being pulled in different directions.

I see you *points at the Strugatsky brothers*. I see you planting the seeds for all the great rants and mental breakdowns coming later in the book. I see them slowly blooming beautifully later on when Rumata starts to grow more and more self-aware and desperate at the conflicting emotions taking hold of him, and the deep self-hatred pours out because he realizes he’s grown to truly hate the people he came there to help. All of that the result of having been put in the impossible position of trying to be tolerant of the intolerant, forgiving of the unforgivable, and just overall trying to act and right some wrongs without imposing force/his own will.

Just... the wonderful evolution from the cat rehab thing for Waga to this quote I’m going to link to here... it breaks my poor heart.

So in summary, here’s the conclusions I arrived at on thinking about the beginning of Chapter 3:

it’s great as just an alien who dreams about kidnapping a crimelord and have him play with cats instead of engaging in crime and murder;

it’s great because it advocates for the therapeutic power of cat, something I wholeheartedly believe in;

it’s great for the main character’s characterization and inner conflict;

it’s especially great for those last two things when you look at the scenes that came before and after, and how they work together to allude to the larger dillemmas at play;

it just makes the tragedy hit harder later on man...

I was going to say that, in my most humble opinion, these books (at least Roadside Picnic and Hard to be a God, which are the two I’ve read), are just as much about the big philosophical ideas as the little tender moments, and that together they make the book greater than the sum of its parts because even the smaller funny little scenes aren’t distractions disconnected from the main story, they all have winks and nudges of what the larger thread is about.

And I don’t know man, I guess I totally get what Ursula K. le Guin said about Roadside Picnic, and i think it fits this book too:

“ Most of the characters are tough people leading degrading, discouraging lives, presented without sentimentality and without cynicism. Humanity is not flattered, but it’s not cheapened. The authors’ touch is tender, aware of vulnerability.“

And last but not least, here! Have a complimentary crazy straw you crazy bastard, for somehow making it to the end of this rant. It will make its way to you in 24h or less!

I’ll be real this cat scene lives rent free in my head as does my HTBAG AU where Waga is kidnapped and taken to Earth, possibly Japan, where he opens his little cat café. This whole rant was just an excuse to disguise that as an intellectual exercise.

[yehet-about-it]

Chase Me | Part 17 - Lock The Door Next Time

⇐ || ☆ Masterlist ☆ || ⇒

🎮👾 ~ The Boyz Social Media AU ~ 👾🎮

"Twitching" is a British term used to mean "the pursuit of a previously located rare bird." In North America it is more often called chasing...

Pairings: Changmin x Reader, Sunwoo x Reader

Warnings: 17+, language, some smut in later chapters, fuckboy!sunwoo 😉

Updates Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday & Sunday @ 9pm GMT/1pm PST

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Word Count: 3.1k (I am SO sorry... although I'm kind of not bc I lowkey love this chapter) Warnings: Mature content, may involve maStUrBaTioN, a whole lot of embarrassment and Chanhee having the time of his goddamn life bc its not him in the awkward situation for once 🙃

You sighed, dropping your unreasonably heavy camera bag on the table as you walked into the living room, Chanhee in close pursuit looking equally as tired. You’d spent several long hours at a shoot for a new project you’d been hired to do and had come back to the boys’ apartment to do some editing before you called it quits for the day.

“Should we order food now?” You called out as Chanhee went to his room to unload his gear and fetch his macbook for editing. You knew you needed to work but you hadn’t eaten since the morning and you couldn’t stop the thoughts of takeout food swirling around in your head. “Mm, the Chinese?” Chanhee replied sitting down across the table. “Can you go and ask Changmin if he wants anything while I set this up? He’s probably in his room.”

You nodded happily, perking up at the prospect of food and left Chanhee to upload the photos from the day whilst you went off in search of Changmin. He wasn’t in their gaming room as you walked by so you continued down the corridor towards his room. As you neared his door you could hear a murmur, and coming to a stop outside the room you recognised your name being called by Changmin, only it was ever so quiet, barely audible through the wood of the door, so you figured maybe it was just him registering your presence. Assuming he’d realised you were there, you swung the door open not quite expecting the scene that was presented before you. Changmin was sat on his bed, propped up against the pillows with his lips parted, hair hanging low in front of his eyes, and scanning further down you saw that his sweatpants were bunched low on his hips as his hand gripped what appeared to be a very hard erection. You let out a shriek as you realised what you had stumbled upon, immediately slamming the door back shut and racing down the corridor before Changmin even had chance to react.

“Oh my god, oh my god.” You repeated it like a mantra, your heart pounding from the shock as you slid back into the living room and into your chair opposite New. “What the hell’s wrong with you?” Chanhee asked in bewilderment looking at you as though you’d just committed the 7 deadly sins. “I should have knocked!” you squeaked burying your face in your palms in total, unfathomed embarrassment. You took a deep breath trying to calm yourself, but the image of Changmin’s hand wrapped snugly around his length, pleasuring himself as he uttered your name was well and truly burned into your brain.

“What? Why?” Chanhee asked, a puzzled expression forming from his features. “He- oh my word- he was- touchi- Ugh I can’t say it!” you whined. “He wasn’t…? Oh my god...” Eventually realising what had happened, a hysterical fit of laughter erupted from your best friends throat as you hid behind your hands, your cheeks most definitely flushed with the brightest pink. “Oh my god that idiot” Chanhee cackled, tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes from the sheer force of his laughter. You sank down in your chair a pained smile on your face as you couldn’t help but be affected by Chanhee’s reaction. “Chanhee what am I gonna do? I’ll never be able to look him in the eye again!” You wailed, the howling starting to dye down as Chanhee regained his composure. “Not my problem” Chanhee teased. “I’ll make it your problem” you replied stroppily, whacking him lightly on the arm in annoyance. “Ow!” Chanhee clutched his arm in feigned pain before proceeding to laugh at you once again. “It’s not funny Chanhee! This is so awkward!”

You had by now gotten over the initial shock of seeing one of your longest friends exposed like that, and now you were wondering how the hell you were gonna get over the awkwardness of the situation. But most of all, you were wondering why the hell he’d been moaning your name of all names and what that meant. Not that you were going to mention that to New. That would open a whole new can of worms and lead this conversation down a whole new road that you didn’t particularly want to explore, as well as give Chanhee even more ammunition for further teasing.

“That’s exactly why it IS funny.” Chanhee chided, whipping his phone out, presumably either to tease Changmin or get the Chinese menu up, or both. “Guess he won’t be joining us for the Chinese then?” You rolled your eyes at Chanhee’s teasing (though also legitimate) question. “Well it’s not like I stuck around to ask.” You crossed your arms as you gave Chanhee a warning glare. “Fine, I’ll ask him then.” He said, and your phone lit up on the table a moment later – of course he’d mentioned it in your group chat.

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Changmin had heard Chanhee’s cackling from his room at the other end of the apartment and had been mentally cursing for the duration, his face perhaps an even brighter shade of scarlet than yours. Of all of the awkward things to happen, the girl he liked and one of his best friends walking in while he was halfway to climax thinking about her had to be the most unfortunate. Firstly there was the problem of how he’d ever look you in the eye again, but secondly was the problem that remained below his waistline. You walking in hadn’t helped that of course. If it had been Chanhee or Kevin walking in, his stiffness would have gone in a split second, but despite the embarrassment of what had just happened, his length remained taut against his boxers which he’d quickly pulled back up in shock after your momentary appearance. He was no longer in the mood to continue, too worried about what you might be thinking, so he decided his only option was to go for a cold shower in the hope that that might fix it.

Before he had the chance to hop in however, his phone buzzed, showing a text from New. He groaned as he read the older boys words, knowing that he’d never live this down whining again when he realised the texts were sent not just to him but to your group chat. Thankfully Changmin had already eaten, although he wouldn’t mind a bit of Chinese, but given the current awkwardness he decided to pass up on the offer for food. He would probably be able to face you later but if he ordered food he’d have to sit with you to eat it, and the embarrassment was stilll far too fresh for that to be a comfortable affair, so he quickly typed out his reply and hopped in the shower to deal with the problem beneath his pants.

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An hour or so later you and Chanhee had just about finished your editing for the day and were tucking into your food, but you still hadn’t heard a peep out of Changmin. You sighed, finishing your bowl of jajangmyeon, feeling a little guilty that Changmin wasn’t sharing in the joys of your takeout food, all because you’d been dumb enough not to knock. “Hm maybe I should take him something” you sighed looking across all the cartons of food you’d ordered. Maybe he had actually eaten already, but there was so much, and you were sure he’d like some. “You’re not going to eat all that are you?” You asked Chanhee, nodding to the half full box of kkanpunggi in the middle. Chanhee just shrugged. “You sure you want to go back in there?” He sniggered as he asked the question, deliberately trying to provoke you. “No I am not, but I’m not going to avoid him forever just because I’ve seen his dick” you declared defiantly, making Chanhee almost spit out his boba as he doubled over in laughter. However awkward you were feeling, you’d have to face each other eventually. Normally you wouldn’t be so thrown off by something like this, for instance, you’d once accidentally walked in on Kevin going at it with someone one time when you’d stayed over at Sunwoo’s, but you’d just greeted it with an ew and laughed about it later. The only thing that had you feeling so utterly flustered was the sound of him uttering your name whilst he was clearly having some ‘time to himself’, but since you figured he wouldn’t necessarily be aware you’d heard that, you decided you’d be able to brush it off for now and pretend like everything was just peachy.

“Well just remember to knock this time” Chanhee quipped as you stood up, taking the box of spicy garlic fried chicken with you, picking up some of the spare chopsticks the restaurant had sent too. You grinned sarcastically at Chanhee, your eyes silently telling him he was an asshole, before disappearing off down the hall to Changmin’s room, praying that he’d be fully tucked into his pants this time. “Changmin? Can I come in?” you called as you knocked tentatively on his door. You heard some shuffling and low muttering before he answered with an uncertain “sure”.

Swinging the door open for the second time this evening you were relieved to see Changmin perched on his bed, fully clothed with an xbox controller in his lap and his headset to the side of him. You saw the overwatch character select screen flickering brightly on his tv screen too so you could only assume he was playing online with someone. “Oh you’re playing? Who’s on?” you asked quietly as you walked a couple of steps into the room, the carton of kkanpunggi still in hand. “Uh, just Eric.” Changmin replied, his eyes darting around the room as he struggled to make eye contact with you, for understandable reasons. “Hi Eric!” You sang loudly so he could hear you through the microphone. Though it was quiet, only coming from Changmin’s headset you heard a faint chuckle and Eric’s voice returning the greeting. “I brought you some kkanpunggi, I thought you might like some, it’s really good” you said, turning your attention back to the boy actually in the room.

Changmin’s expression softened watching as you stood there, proudly holding up the box of chicken and chopsticks. Even after what happened you were still thoughtful enough to bring him nice food so he wouldn’t miss out. What he wouldn’t give to be able to just pull you onto his lap and feed one other the delicious food, cleaning up any stray sauce with kisses. In his dreams he thought.

“Awh how come he gets chicken?” Eric whined through the headphones pulling Changmin out of his daydream. “KEVIN-HYUNG CAN WE GET CHICKEN?!” The sudden loudness of the younger boy through the headphones made you giggle, and you shared an amused look with Changmin. As bizarre as it was though, you were rather grateful for Eric’s random inputs which actually seemed to have the effect of relieving some of the tension in the room.

“Yah be quiet! I’m not even wearing my headphones and that hurt my ears!” Changmin called towards his headset shutting the younger boy up with an insincere sorry. “Oh it smells good, thank you y/n!” Changmin smiled sweetly at you as you placed the box down on the side table next to his bed. “That’s okay!” You replied, moving a few steps away again before looking nervously towards Changmin’s headset. You wanted to apologise for your earlier intrusion to get it out of the way, but you definitely didn’t want Eric to be witness to that, so you lowered your voice to a whisper. “Oh um, so I’ll be leaving in a bit, I just wanted to say sorry for earlier, I um- I should probably have knocked before I came in.”

Changmin could feel the heat rising in his cheeks being reminded of the earlier incident and although his hair mostly covered it, the tips of his ears were now definitely a blazing pink. “Oh-“ He was frankly a little stuck for words. He’d been sat in his room for the better part of an hour rehearsing what he might say to you in his head, but now you’d come in here to apologise, with chicken no less, he didn’t really have an answer for you. “Uh- it’s okay,” he mumbled. “Sorry you had to see that.”

Before it could get too awkward however, you snickered as you heard Eric and Kevin clearly having an argument about chicken faintly through the headphones still laying next to Changmin and you thanked your lucky stars that they evidently weren’t listening to you and Changmin’s awkward exchange. “Well I promise I’ll knock next time.” Changmin chuckled, running a hand sheepishly through his hair as you moved back toward the door. “I’ll let you get back to the game if those two ever stop arguing, I’ll see you later yeah?”

Changmin nodded and said goodbye as you slipped out to return to the dining table where New sat, a mischievous glint in his eye as he grinned at you. “On a scale of 1 to Eric talking to girls, just how awkward was he?” He asked, clearly trying to stifle his laughter. “Shut up New” you scoffed as you began picking up the empty food cartons to throw in the trash. This little shit was gonna milk this out for as long as possible and you weren’t here for it. “Well at least you didn’t scream and run out this time” he bantered, only to be met with a look of pure contempt from you as he passed you one of the empty food containers. “I am this close to pouring this black bean sauce all over that new balenciaga t-shirt Chanhee” you threatened holding out a carton that had the remains of some sauce wobbling about in the bottom. Chanhee jumped back covering his shirt with his hands, knowing that it wasn’t an empty threat from another time he’d pissed you off and you threw half a cup of peach tea all over him. It was a waste of the tea, but he’d had it coming. “That’s what I thought.” You proclaimed before disappearing into the kitchen to dispose of the containers.

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On your way home your head was filled with all kinds of thoughts about what you’d unintentionally just witnessed. All you really wanted to do was relax after a long day of work and carrying heavy equipment around, but all you could think about was your name on Changmin’s lips and what the hell it meant. Was it just an accident? Or if it wasn’t, did that confirm everything that Kevin had been telling you? Did Changmin really like you? There had been an undeniable vibe between you for the past few weeks, what with the increasing amount of time you spent together and the intimate moment on the roof last night, but until this weekend, you hadn’t thought about it much, your mind largely preoccuppied with your anger towards Sunwoo.

Your mind flipped through your memories with Changmin as you sat on the tube, trying to make sense of everything, and as you did so, it dawned on you. Kevin was right. Changmin liked you. Perhaps that was even what he had tried to tell you the previous night before Jeju had abruptly cut him off. You recalled all the times Changmin had sat with you and listened to you rant about Sunwoo, the way he’d been so angry the day after that one fateful party, and how he’d always been there waiting for you with a hug when you were down. It was a wonder you’d never realised it before. Perhaps Changmin’s warm presence in your life had just become so natural you never thought anything of it, but it was becoming increasingly clear that this wasn’t just two friends looking out for eachother. No, it was more than that.

You felt a heat in your chest as you processed this revelation, trying to make sense of your own feelings. You adored Changmin, but then who didn’t? The way his dimples made him look like the sweetest angel whenever he smiled, the way his eyes lit up whenever he discovered something really interesting, the way he couldn’t stop himself from giggling even at the most inappropriate moments. It was impossible not to like him. But then not everybody knew him like you. They didn’t have your relationship. Changmin had always been there for you, even though it was Chanhee you called your best friend and Sunwoo he called his. He always seemed to know exactly what you needed – when to give you space, when to give you hugs or when to make you laugh so hard you cried. Upon reflection, there was no one who came close to making you feel as happy and comfortable as Changmin did. You couldn’t think of a single occasion he hadn’t made you smile and you slowly began to realise… Was it possible… that you liked him too?

Then the thoughts of Sunwoo swarmed your mind. Did he know Changmin was into you? No of course not. They weren’t on the best of terms right now but you imagined it would be a hell of a lot worse if he did know his best friend was infatuated with his ex-girlfriend. If anything were to happen between you and Changmin, Sunwoo would be outraged for certain. But maybe that was what he deserved. He’d lost the right to an opinion on your life when he tried to get back with you by sleeping with you when you were drunk. Although perhaps falling for his best friend was a little far…

You leaned your head back against the glass of the subway train, sighing as your mind replayed the memory of Changmin’s breathless expression as his hand gripped his manhood. You kind of wished it would stop, not wanting the embarrassment of getting so worked up in public, but you just couldn’t tear your thoughts away from it. After your newfound revelation, you were getting dangerously close to imagining what had been happening before you walked in, and what sort of things he might have been thinking of doing – you nearly missed your stop in your dazed state but thankfully the announcement pulled you out of your thoughts and you rushed to the doors just in time to hop off before they closed and the train sped off into the distance, away from you and your insurmountable dilemma.

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[chalkrevelations]

Word of Honor Ep 6, and let’s talk a little about what’s canon, and what’s not, and about the particular slip-slidiness of the line between them on this show.

But first, due diligence: If you are NEW or JUST VISITING, this is a re-watch, so you’re going to find SPOILERS not just for this ep, but for the entire show. Scroll away and come back later if you haven’t seen all 36.5 eps and want to watch unspoiled. Also, heads-up, this got super long, because I had to talk about that stuff up there and then still talk about the ep. Hashtag long post (remorseful).

So, “canon,” as applied to fannish source material (in Western fandom, at least) traditionally has been considered the official stuff – the episode, the book, the comic, the movie – based on the religious definition of  “canon,” the collection of texts accepted as genuine and official within a religion. The word “fanon” – widely accepted fannish ideas – plays on this, as does the fandom concept of “word of God,” or things the Creators have said about the text but outside of it. Is it in the show as it aired or the book as it was printed? Canon. Is it not in the show as it aired or the book as it was printed? Not canon. (Apocrypha? Maybe. Anyway.) Generally, I think we’d say that things like material in the first draft of a script that doesn’t make it through revisions and onto the screen isn’t canon, even if you can get your hands on a copy of the first draft. The final product that airs is what’s canon. BUT this gets super slippery in something like WoH, in a way that’s exemplified in this episode. This ep is one of the places where people who can lip-read Chinese have spotted some significant dialogue changes between what the actors say on-screen and what lines have been dubbed in. (Everybody’s dubbed in cdramas, it’s just the thing that happens. You have your on-screen actors, and you have your voice actors. The ONLY person in The Untamed who did his own voice dubbing, for instance, was Ji Li, who played Nie Huaisang. All the other characters had voice actors dubbed in. In fact, the voice actor for Jiang Cheng in The Untamed is the voice actor for Wen Kexing in WoH.) One of the descriptions of WoH that I’ve heard is that this show was filmed as a bl and dubbed as a bromance. The thing is, nobody tried very hard to hide the shift. There are plenty of places that you can clearly see the actor’s mouths don’t match the dubbing, and they’re not artfully shot or edited to hide this. They’re fully on-screen, mouthing words that don’t match, right out in the open, almost like they want to you to pick up on it. Almost like it’s canon, because it’s right there on-screen, aired in the episode. In my first-watch reactions to Eps 36 and 37, I talked a lot about how the dubbing puts a layer of de-queered no-homo over what the on-screen actors are saying in these places, but if you can see what they’re actually saying and understand it, does that make it canon? What does it mean, both textually and meta-textually, if you can’t believe what you’re hearing – what you’re being told – because it contradicts what you’re seeing? How does that affect what we’re told about Our Protagonists and its “truth,” particularly in the final scenes? How much is the show deliberately working against censorship in this way? How much is it teaching us to look deeper than what we’re hearing on the surface?

Several people have talked about what’s actually being said by the on-screen actors in places where this happens, and I’m going to direct you to AvenueX on Youtube if you want a complete overview, because she’s reliable and has a good compilation that’s easy to find. She has a couple of videos called “Lip Reading for Sugar,” and the March 9, 2021, installment includes the Ep 6 incidences, the most significant of which are: At 3:05 in the ep, when WKX throws himself on Zhou Zishu’s back during the zombie Drug Men attack, calls him “mom,” asks ZZS to carry him, and tells “mom” that “your shoulder blades are the most beautiful.” Only no, Gong Jun didn’t say this, if you watch his mouth compared to the sound of the words. Instead of “niang” (mom), he says “Zhou Zishu.” Twice. “Zhou Zishu, carry me.” “Zhou Zishu, your shoulder blades are the most beautiful.” This is not only important because it emphasizes he’s gay for Zhou Zishu’s shoulder blades, but also because he’s fucking baked on Drunk Like A Dream incense when it happens, and later, ZZS will reveal that Drunk Like a Dream makes you see what you most desire, and he’ll confront WKX about how he “kept calling” someone’s name while he was under the influence of it. This makes no sense with the dubbing we get, because with “mom” dubbed over ZZS’s name here, WKX only calls Zhou Zishu’s real name once while he’s under the influence, at the end of ep 5. That is not kept calling. ANYWAY, once WKX clears his head and flies them away from the Drug Men, back to the a lakeside, there’s another disjunct at 5:05, when the dubbing has WKX tell ZZS not to play hero, that he doesn’t lose face if WKX helps him, and ZZS responds with something about your grandmother’s bear, which AvenueX tells me is a real Chinese idiom, although not for what. What Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan appear to actually have said, though, is that WKX tells ZZS that this was just like a hero saving a beauty, with the implication that ZZS is the beauty, the damsel in distress, and ZZS respons that no, it’s like the beauty saving the hero, without a lick of concern that he’s the beauty, the damsel, in this scenario, just that he did all the work killing Drug Men and now this asshole is going to act like he’s the one who did the saving. At 31:24, dubbing has WKX telling ZZS that he’ll give ZZS whatever he wants if ZZS can get him some of the Drunk Like a Dream, but AvenueX tells me that he actually offers his body in exchange, in a way that implies marriage. And at 32:22, when ZZS asks WKX what he saw under the influence of the Drunk Like a Dream, the dubbing gives us some random story about baby WKX throwing a rat on his mother’s bed, while Gong Jun’s mouth seems to be saying something something about being in the bridal chamber with his beloved … so circling back to our first instance at 3:05, WKX using Zhou ZIshu’s name is now super-interesting, eh?

Another slip-slidey point of canon here is that there are two versions of this episode. The original version didn’t have the rabbit-washing scene. That was an extra that was inserted later into a Special Version ep when Youku reached 2 million subscribers. But the Special Version is now available on Youku’s channel (it’s the one I watched for this re-watch), AND it’s the regular version that’s on Netflix. So at 25:28, we now get this adorable little scene where ZZS and WKX are cleaning two rabbits in the lake before cooking them, and WKX splashes ZZS who pretends to be irritated before splashing WKX back and running away up the riverbank, chased by WKX. It’s flirty and playful and ALSO a foreshadowing of the flashback we’re going to see in a later ep, when they play together for an afternoon as children. Wasn’t canon before. Now it is.

Anyway, even with the (bad) dubbing that we get, this is a fantastic WenZhou ep. We open with them still being menaced by the zombies Drug Men, with a lot of swordwork by ZZS before he starts flagging because of his Nails Issue, whereupon WKX instantly sobers up, goes Evil Ghost Valley Master on Imposter Hanged Ghost who’s controlling the Drug Men, kills him with his Fan of Death, then scoops up ZZS and flies him off to a lake, where he attempts to tenderly check ZZS’s pulse and take care of his wounds before ZZS slaps away his hand like an offended maiden. WKX has to give him the qi smackdown in order to hold him still to :coff: pull down his robes and suck out the poison from the Drug Men scratches on the back of his shoulder. :hands: I remember the first time around, watching this with my mouth hanging open, demanding to know the heterosexual explanation for this. (Also, if you’re rummaging on Youtube, the Five Straight Guys Watching Word of Honor for this ep is not to be missed. They’re a little questionable in their reaction to the poison sucking, but before that, they’re a bunch of squeamish babies over using the dagger to further slice open the wounds to get to the poison, and it’s HILARIOUS. They can’t even look at the screen once the dagger comes out, hiding behind their hands. I love them, more and more as the eps go on, but they are WEAK compared to even the newbiest hurt/comfort fangirl.) There’s some more back and forth between WKX and ZZS about revealing their true selves to each other, no you, no YOU. WKX makes it clear that he knows there’s something really wrong with ZZS, and then they fight, set to romantic music, and ZZS ends up falling in the lake. I do the victory arms (  \o/  ) to myself where I’m sitting on the couch and startle one of the cats, because FINALLY we’re going to get rid of that execrable fake facial hair. ZZS fucks with WKX by staying underwater long enough that WKX panics and also dives in, we get some really cheap and awful underwater effects, and ZZS reveals his face! They end up back on the edge of the lake, drying their perfectly dry outer robes, while they sit around the fire together in their perfectly dry inner robes, but I am not going to complain because y’all. I CANNOT with how smug and pleased ZZS is for just a moment about WKX mooning over how pretty he is. Then he remembers to be an ill-tempered gremlin and pokes at WKX with a flaming stick, but I had to rewind four times just to catch that little moment of satisfaction about being admired again – it’s subtle and gorgeous and Zhang Zhehan is going to kill me with his face one of these days. ZZS demands dinner on this date, and fake-coughs pitifully to get WKX to go hunt something down, while he stays and does his delightful little thinky face as he pokes at the Soul Winding Box they got from Imposter Hanged Ghost. Then we get a shot of WKX looking at ZZS before he heads off to catch some rabbits that confirms he now knows he’s really Zhou Zishu, rather than Zhou Xu.

So, we’ll get back to the Ghost and the Box in a minute, but I do want to mention that this whole ep is layered through with mini-references and thematic stuff. Imposter Hanged Ghost rings his little bell to control his Drug Men, and remember that, we’ll see that again. WKX asks if ZZS came from the Healer’s Valley when ZZS offers him an antidote to the Drug Man poison; we learn later that WKX, himself, is the one who came from the Healer’s Valley. When ZZS gets the Soul Winding Box open and finds a piece of the Glazed Armor inside (Danyang’s, taken off of Ao Laizi by Ghost Valley before he was hung at the gate of Sanbai Manor), he gives it to WKX, tells him to throw it away if he doesn’t want it. WKX says he couldn’t possibly, and that he’ll wear it because it’s his first gift from A-Xu. Compare this to the way Xie’er will wear Awful Yifu’s Glazed Armor around his neck. We also see some of the thematic and referential stuff come up in conversations that form a repeated pattern in this ep of ZZS stressing what a bad and dangerous person he is: He scoffs at the idea he’s from Healer’s Valley, and asks if he looks like someone who practices medicine; WKX responds that he looked like a professional killer (true) who was cruel in the abandoned temple (presumably while escaping Mirror Lake) and frightening to a kind-hearted man like WKX who can’t even kill a chicken (particularly amusing given the prep for New Year’s dinner in a later ep, when WKX is the only one who CAN). At the lakeside and again after ZZS hightails it away from Sanbai Manor when they spot Han Ying there (HAN YING, my beloved), WKX asks if ZZS is a fugitive, what he’s hiding from, and says that he’ll protect him – by reason, because would he kill anyone unreasonably (omg, where to even begin? How many guys have you choked out at this point)? When they’re arguing about ZZS revealing his “true” face, ZZS warns that most people who’ve seen his real appearance are dead (probably true). WKX says he’s not afraid of death (not his own, at least, we’ll see that the thing he’s afraid of is ZZS’s death). ZZS warns WKX that he’s not only sharp-tongued, he’s ruthless (true). He tells WKX that he’s murdered many people (true) and set them on fire (not unlikely, frankly) and committed many crimes (true, in a way, although they were state-sanctioned, making them legal, if morally reprehensible). This is the ZZS who put the Nails in himself, who talks to himself about what a truly awful shixiong he is, who tells Prince Jin that he’s only good as a weapon. I like how we see this at the same time that we’re starting to see the side of him that’ll preen when someone thinks he’s pretty - this is a process, and it’s subtle, not as high-drama as WKX’s, but it’s there, nonetheless.

We also formally meet Xie Wang in this ep, artfully posed and playing his pipa among the bodies – old and new – of Zhao Coffin Home. He and Changing Ghost have a bit of a slapfight over whose fault it is that Imposter Hanged Ghost, who was actually Long-Tongued Ghost, got killed and got his (Danyang’s) Glazed Armor took by WKX, when Changing Ghost stole it from Ao Laizi, put it in the Soul Winding Box and gave it to Long-Tongued Ghost specifically to deliver it to Xie Wang. Xie Wang is super cool through all of this, and I think we get a sense of how deadly he is by the way Changing Ghost backs down. So, here’s what’s falling together: Some iteration of Ghost Valley is working with Xie Wang and the Scorpion Sect, giving the Scorpions access to the Soul Winding Threads, which we saw used at the Mirror Lake massacre and in the woods outside of Sanbai Manor to kill Yu Tianjie in the last ep. Via Xie Wang, Ghost Vally has access to use of the Drug Men, which we’ve seen at the Zhao Coffin Home (so far), although we haven’t yet been told (I think) how Xie Wang got access to the potions to create Drug Men (we also know ZZS read about Drug Men in a book somewhere, and got enough info to engineer an antidote to them). Xie Wang and the Scorpions have access to Drunk Like a Dream incense, which had to come from Prince Jin’s court, having been engineered by ZZS based on a much stronger formulation. Han Ying, from Tian Chuang in Prince Jin’s court, has been seen at Sanbai Manor, Zhao Jing’s place.

Meanwhile Chengling is doing poorly, with no appetite and getting bellowed at some more by Shen Shen, who would be the worst if only I didn’t know everything I know, which makes me cringe when Zhao Jing refers to Chengling as “my son, now.” NO. RUN, Goldbean. For some more thematic and referential stuff in this ep, WKX calls Chengling a “lonely chick with no one to rely on” and tsks over the fact that he’s “surrounded by hounds smarter than foxes” now that he’s under the care of the Five Lakes Alliance. This is clearly to manipulate ZZS into thinking Chengling is better off with ZZS, but it also sounds like an awfully apt description of Zhen Yan in Ghost Valley. I’m just sayin’.

[possessionisamyth]

so im reading two different loz comics rn “Growing up Gerudo” and “A Tale of Two Rulers” and theyre both entertaining for various reasons but whats keeping me up to type this at like 6AM are their individual interpretations of Ganondorf

mind you, i was all caught up on “GUG” before i started reading “ATofTR” and there was something about a tale of two rulers ganon that threw me off

initially it shouldnt, i shouldnt compare two kings together when theyre both raising link, especially when theyre both using the same character design to tell their story, but a tale of two rulers ganon came off in several scenes as more fetishized than “GUG” and i needed to word dump to figure out why im getting that vibe because i dont like throwing down words like that unless the evidence is blatant, and this didnt feel blatant, in fact i highly doubt it was done on purpose if at all, so why was i getting this vibe?

Sitting down to compare the two, like to really look at both Ganons, I tried isolating what normally leads to fetishization of a brown man character, especially one as cunning and intelligent as Ganon is supposed to be. These are things like appeal of exoticism, habits of brutality, being feral, and so on. BUT the Gerudo tribe already have that exoticism thing that’s hard to escape narratively speaking (thanks nintendo).

Next we add the fact that Ganon hasn’t always been a human person. He’s been a monster in more iterations than not, and ,looking at what god he’s supposed to be embodying, there’s always going to be that brutality and that feral nature somewhere at the core of his character from past incarnations. (No, I’m not gonna go into an angry rant about how they made the main brown man like this. I’m Not!!!)

Basically, after checking off design choice and personal history, the only thing left for me to look at where this “weird kinda fetishy” vibe is the environment they’re both placed in, and its like YEAH! THAT’S IT!

Growing Up Gerudo’s Ganon is still all these things, but all his instances of peacocking and the reassurances of his humanity are done within his tribe in his homeland. This is a stark difference to A Tale of Two Rulers Ganon where those same narrative aspects are coming from within Hyrule who committed [insert UK/USA historic atrocity here] to his people, and his people and his home are just Gone.

Like, as a POC, and more specifically as a black person, watching Ganon fall into this pattern of marriage and paternity whilst keeping his traits mentioned intact is going to feel different in his homeland versus in a land full of-- I’m just gonna use the word-- colonizers with the ruler he’s marrying being someone who may not know the full truth of where her generational wealth and power came from. Not to mention, there’s already a lot of real and fictional stories like this of a colonizer marrying a foreign brown person for actual fetishization so that’s likely buzzing in my head too as I go through this comic.

This is not to say Zelda/Ganon is a bad ship. I never got into this ship before this series, and I do love their dynamic in this comic. It’s fun and touching and delicate in them building their trust in one another which is amazing to me. However, I do think it’d be easier to toss this read as “fetishy” vibes about this Ganon if there were any other living Gerudo around. Instead, Tale of Two Rulers Ganon is more like his animal iterations where his kingdom is made entirely from communities of monster-folk which does unfortunately make the exoticism of him “being the only one of his kind left” stand out more.

I am still gonna read the crap outta “A Tale of Two Rulers” because what’s keeping me there are a bunch of really fun things I will not spoil. Yet, with this Ganon specifically what’s keeping me reading is his questioning and re-asserting to himself of his own humanity. Like a scene that really sat my ass down without spoilers was his realization that; “Yes, the strategic methods the Hyrulian “colonizers” use are the only ones they understand, but these methods absolutely can hurt him differently if not more than they hurt Hyrule in the long run.”

Like, I cannot wait to see Ganon’s final verdict on what kind of the king he’ll become because, with all these thoughts in mind, he will be the king Hyrule deserves, even though certain possible endgame results won’t be what Ganon himself deserves.

[acatinabox]

Is Mystra a jerk?

One of my latest posts has had a bit of attention. The point someone made was that a cleric of Mystra should know how fickle she is so she shouldn’t have a special reaction to it during Gale’s confession scene, as I claimed in my original post. I wanted to address this matter on a separate post because first, my answer proved to be too long for a comment; second, it led me to some new interesting findings in the lore I wanted to share.

It is true, if we look at the wikis, that Mystra has done some quite morally dubious stuff in the millennia:

She has produced seven daughters without the consent of their father and led to the death of their mother (who was possessed for the whole time).

She has given an avatar of hers to said father to torture as retribution for what she did to her;

She has forsaken one of her chosen one leading him to madness and to creating an evil cult;

Etcetera.

First of all, we should address whether this, in the moral framework of the Forgotten Realms, constitutes evil behaviour.

To which the answer is... eh. As per rule books, she is currently aligned as neutral good, but in the past her old incarnation was lawful neutral, with her being the arbiter of all magic. Most recently, Shar has tried to take over parts of the Weave and hence absorb certain parts of magic in her portfolio (with dubious results). In the grand scheme of things, she is generally allied with good deities, such as Selune, and the public’s perception of Mystra is that of her being a munificent mother who has gifted humanity with magic, sometimes at the cost of self sacrifice.

This leads us to the question: should her actions be held to the same standards as player characters and NPCs in terms of alignment shifts? Well that is a bit of a complex question. What we know of Mystra is that she can predict the future and will manipulate events to a certain extent in order to fulfill what is best for the progress of arcane arts. My opinion is that she is more of a guardian of good as “the bigger picture”, even if it comes at a cost in terms of hurting some individuals.

There is also the matter of determining what “good” is, in more absolute terms. Because lawful good paladins and chaotic good rebels could be pushed to do some pretty extreme stuff to protect their ideals or to further their cause or when faced with complex moral dilemmas such as: is killing a red dragon cub an evil act in itself, when adult red dragons generally become evil and destructive?

But is Mystra capricious? Well, it is really hard to tell, since she is a deity that can see the future, but so far all her actions have been motivated by the protection of the greater good and in general fighting evil deities like the Dead Three and Shar.

How her follower see her less morally pristine actions? This is one of the crucial points I’d like to address. All the actions that I mentioned, including producing the Seven Sisters at the expense of their mortal mother, are not really well known. The handbooks make it a point to tell the player that this is not common knowledge. The handbook that addresses the dragon cult founded by Sammaster clearly states that it is DM only knowledge and that unless there is a good reason to, players won’t know about it. Even the Seven Sisters do not seem to know precisely the tale of their origin (I read multiple sources on this and it appears they don’t even know the identity of their father, whom some of them meet).

It is safe then to assume that Gale, or also a devout player character, would not know of this less than bright side of her. They would not expect it.

And if you consider that the more publicly known lovers she had (Azuth, for instance, but also possibly Elminster, although we don’t know how much of his adventures is common knowledge) are legendary wizards (gods), then you can clearly understand that for the goddess to sleep with a mortal is not a common occurrence, and it will certainly lead to a strong reaction.

Moreover, after the last all out god war brought a ton of destruction to the material plane, Ao (who’s like, daddy god) imposed that deities do not manifest physically in the material plane anymore, if not through clerics. And while Mystra is a bit above these rules and has kept in touch with her daughters, I don’t think this would be common knowledge as well, because her daughters currently are in positions of power, hence not very accessible to a common cleric.

So no, a cleric of Mystra would not have solid ground to think their goddess is capricious or flirty or whatever.

All in all, I think discovering that your new boyfriend has quite literally fucked your goddess that you devoted your life to deserves a little bit of surprise at least, and since most of the other scenes with Gale have at least a special reaction connected to the Cleric of Mystra tag, if not two, I expected for there to be anything, during the confession scene, which wasn’t the case.

In terms of lore the implications of sleeping with your goddess’s estranged lover are pretty severe: you could lose your powers because you could have inadvertently slept with an enemy of her or someone who is forbidden, etc. It is not a trivial matter at all.

That said, I will personally punch Mystra in the face for hurting Gale, and if his version is indeed the whole truth, so will my Rayne.

This is my take on all this. Feel free to tell me what you think, but I have a request: be polite about it. I don’t mind if you disagree, as long as you do it with respect. I’ve read quite a few posts on the Gale tag where people treated others’ opinions as ridiculous, mocked them, or felt their own opinion was the only one acceptable. I honestly think this is damaging to the fandom and to people who are exposed to it. So just don’t do it. Behave like adults. Thanks.

[kellyvela]

The ones who know the ASOIAF ending

I’m not talking about D&D

ANNE GROELL George R.R. Martin Editor

Question: We know that the producers of the TV show Game of Thrones know in broad strokes the ending of the main character arcs of A Song of Ice and Fire. Without giving anything away, do you know the ending, too?

Anne Groell: No. George is a very secretive fellow, and guards his secrets well. I do know a few things from AWOW, but mainly because we had to shorten a few elements in the book as it was already getting too long, and he had to reveal a few secrets so I could help him redirect parts of the plot a bit. I do know the endpoint of Bran’s story line—and Daniel Abraham, who has been adapting the graphic novel of AGOT for me, knows where Tyrion ends up. (I am jealous of that!) But much in the way all of you have been keeping secrets from show watchers who have not yet read the books (and I continue to be impressed by how secret you all kept the Red Wedding), I also will never tell what I know. George has somehow managed to swear us all to this amazing conspiracy of silence, which I admire and appreciate and fully participate in! I had a very amusing lunch with Daniel in which we very pointedly did not tell each other what the other one knew. In short, like you, I Keep George’s Secrets.

—Q & A with George R.R. Martin Editor, Anne Groell - May 2014

***

DANIEL ABRAHAM  'A Game of Thrones' Graphic Novel Adaptor

Geek: What were some of the other challenges of bringing this work to the comic page?

DA: Prying spoilers out of George. There are times when I need to compress some bit of action or reduce the number of characters in a scene just so that the page isn’t confusing to look at, but in order for that to happen, I need to know what’s critical plot and what’s not. As a result, I know a few things about how the series ends and what some of the prophecies in the text mean that I would be shot for telling.

Geek: Who are some of the characters you’ve gravitated towards during the writing of the book?

DA: Hard call. I liked all the characters as a reader years before I started the adaptation. Who doesn’t like Jon or Dany or Tyrion? The thing that adapting the books has made me appreciate more is the smaller characters. Old Nan, for instance, is actually a fascinating and eerie character, but she’s a part of a huge tapestry. It’s easy to overlook her and folks like her.

—INTERVIEW: DANIEL ABRAHAM ON BRINGING 'GAME OF THRONES' TO COMICS - 08/01/2011

***

Question: Have you collaborated at all with George R.R. Martin in the process of adapting the novel to comics? If so, what's the creative process there?


Daniel Abraham: I've spoken to George a lot in the process.  The biggest issues we have are continuity questions.  There are things about this story that only he knows, and they aren't all obvious.  There was one scene I had to rework because there's a particular line of dialog -- and you wouldn't know it to look at -- that's important in the last scene of "A Dream of Spring." For that kind of issue, there's no substitute for just talking to the man himself. 

That said, it's very clear that George isn't writing the comic book. He's put a great deal of faith and trust in me on the actually working out of the scripts.  And God forbid I get in the way of his writing "The Winds of Winter."  If I get a reputation for holding that project up, I'd be hung from the trees.

—ABRAHAM PLAYS "A GAME OF THRONES" - September 2011

***

I know some details about A Dream of Spring because of the conversations we had about A Game of Thrones. I mean, there were things he was setting up in early chapters in A Game of Thrones that are references to the end of the series. He had a very clear view of what of those were negotiable and what weren't and he had something he was aiming for at the end.

—Episode 31- Daniel Abraham AGOT Interview - Ranking Thrones By James Kelly - September 2019

***

(...)

There are certainly long-running comic book series that have succeeded brilliantly without a strict continuity or foreshadowing that began years ahead. I’m thinking of ongoing serial (even soap-operatic) titles such as Batman or Spider-Man. But A Song of Ice and Fire isn’t open-ended. It does have a conclusion it moves toward, and in fact, the last sentence of the last book is already decided.

(...) 

Charting our best course depends on what A Game of Thrones in particular and A Song of Ice and Fire in the larger scheme is.

And we don’t know that yet.

For me, the single most important fact about A Song of Ice and Fire is that it will end. Daenerys Targaryen will have a last scene and a last word. Because of my participation in this project, I know the fate of several major characters, and have a good idea of the final plot arc. Even so, the details of where the many, many characters end—where, in fact, Westeros itself ends—aren’t all available to me. They may not even be available to George.

My experience writing my own novels suggests that even at this late stage in the project, the best writers are in an ongoing process of discovery. Even with the last scenes firmly in mind, the process of reaching that place is full of surprises. Some of the ideas and intentions for The Winds of Winter and A Dream of Spring will change in the telling of the tale, because that is the inevitable process of creation. Especially as we near the end, the events at the beginning will take on new significance. Prophecies will unfold in ways that may be as surprising to the author as they are to the reader. Things that are foreshadowed will come to be, or else they won’t. Until the ending comes, recreating Westeros—adding new characters, remaking old ones, taking action from perspectives different from those already in the books—isn’t an act of translation or adaptation. It’s just making things up.

—SAME SONG IN A DIFFERENT KEY - Adapting A Game of Thrones as a Graphic Novel - 
Daniel Abraham [In 'Beyond the Wall: Exploring George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire, From A Game of Thrones to A Dance with Dragons' - James Lowder  (Editor) - June 2012]

***

So, it seems that everything is hidden in the pages of “A Game of Thrones” and as I said before: “the person who knows everything in ASOIAF” is Old Nan...

[nightswithkookmin]

RE JIMIN'S LOVE LANGUAGE

This is in response to questions I've received in my message box following my recent post on Jimin's love language. Ignore this if you've read my main post on this same topic- Or maybe not.

Also, I'm sorry about the Asks. I accidentally turned it off- AGAIN. Thanks for drawing my attention to it. I purple y'all.

What I meant by my last post was that, for us to understandJimin or even the rest of the members' love language, it is important we make a distinction between what is uniquely Jimin/the individual members' love language and what is their culture's or even the established and accepted practices within their group.

And on that, I said skinship is a cultural practice but also one of the group's adopted love languages. It is their way of achieving intimacy and bonding with eachother and as such they do not associate romantic connotations with it.

Thus, when they touch eachother in any way, provocative as it may seem to us, to them there is nothing romantic about it at all. So when Taekook, Jikook, Yoonmin or any of these pairs touch eachother, it is not with romantic intentions.

Why then does Jimlous and Jeonlous exist? For a myriad of reasons other than that skinship is romantic! Lol

I've explained previously, that JK and Jimin's discomfort with each other's skinship with the others often has to do with the lack of boundaries that is inherent in skinship rather than that they are actually jealous or see skinship as romantic. This is often true for Jimin.

With JK, his possessive nature very often amplifies his discomfort with the lack of boundaries but also because, out of the seven, he is the only one that had had a problem accepting and participating in the skinship culture within the group- well, him and Suga. It's taking them some getting used to.

But that wasn't because he was viewing skinship as romantic but rather because he was uncomfortable with affections and the overt expressions of it as is required of skinship.

That's not to say they do not or have not implied romantic intentions with their touches- there is nothing platonic about boners. Lol.

And any skinship that results in a visible sexual tension or arousal can no longer be deemed skinship- it's foreplay.

Jikook does skinship all the time like everyone else in the band, but often too some of those skinship crosses the platonic threshold into sexual foreplay- they ain't slick.

You just have to see the look on Tae's face when he noticed, through the view finder, Jimin caressing JK's thumb to comprehend that not all their touches are mere skinship.

That's one of the differences between Jikook and the other ships; Jikook presents a mutual sexual attraction towards eachother beyond the pubescent hormonal teen frenzy that marked their early formative days- god, those boys were so horny they could hump a tree to death. Bless them.

Mind you, I disregard any sexual innuendos that was present in Jikook's dynamics as well as any other ship's dynamics, if ever there was one, during that hormonal teen period of their lives. It was all something but nothing at the same time. They were all just being horny and gross teenage boys- Hashtag, war of hormones for real for real. Lol

All that that timeline taught me was, Jikook are freaky af and certainly don't see each other as brothers. CERTAINLY.

That being said, for a better understanding of Jimin's love language, a distinction must be made between love language and sexual interest. It will make sense in a bit.

Because Jimin's father is an affectionate person and this is the love language he has taught to Jimin, Jimin interprets any affectionate and kind act as a loving gesture. It is how he gives love, it is how he receives love.

He values kindness and compassion, selflessness, vulnerability, transparency, fairness etc.

Thus to show his love for you he will be kind to you, vulnerable with you, transparent with you, supportive of you and nurturing of you.

We see him being like this with all the members, even the staff and dancers too at times but more so with Tae and JK.

The question then is, how does Jimin receive love? What actions does he interpret as love? Easy, sexual attraction. Hear me out.

You see, because Jimin is a natural nurturer and he sees nurturing as a universal love language that everyone speaks or ought to speak, he requires his romantic love interest to distinguish between their platonic love interest and their romantic love interest.

To fulfill him emotionally, you would have to make him feel special, treat him differently from your friends, and let him know that you want him and only him.

Sexual interest is one way of distinguishing between platonic interests and romantic interests, and it flows from this that he not only requires grand gestures, or special treatment but that you flirt with him as well.

Hence his emphasis on flirting. He likes to flirt. He enjoys it. He's mastered it. He's a fucking pro at it- give him his medal.

Just to be clear, even though flirting is part of his love language, he has also adopted flirting as part of his idol persona and often when he is flirting overtly he is only doing it for the 'fan service.'

But that doesn't mean all of that is fan service. Sometimes it's blatant foreplay as I've explained above and if you can't tell the difference between his foreplay and fanservice- chileee, I can't help you.

I'm still traumatized by that Bon V 4 moment. Sweet Jesus, save me if they should keep this energy up!

It's important, at this point, to note that because Jimin is a nurturer, every decent human being can easily be compatible with him. I have said several times over my blog that Jimin is ship compatible with anyone and everyone- I ain't mad at that.

What it comes down to then is whom he prefers and whom he is choosing to make him happy and to fulfill him. I explained that choice and being able to be in charge of decision making and to make his own decisions is very important to Jimin because on his background.

And when it comes to love, it's no secret who Jimin wants. He wants JK and that's on Periodttt.

I explained that in the early days during Rookie King, he felt he needed to get emotionally closer to JK when he had an opportunity to talk and heal as a group- his personal was important to him.

In that JinJikook VLive when Jin was eating a lollipop in a provocative way he asked him to stop immediately but couldn't, for the love of god, tear his eyes off JK when JK ate his lollipop in a- I can't. Jikook!

Unless he is in his fan service mood or is being his slytherin slash whore of babylon self- bless him, often he would reject any attempt by anyone to flirt with him except JK.

And I keep reiterating this, flirting isn't JK's thing. It's Jimin's thing. The last time JK tried to this flirty- he cried. Lmho

Take that interview where the host moved closer to Jimin in a flirty way for example. Jimin leaned back away from him. In the popular words of Jimin- don't do that.

Then in this airport scene right here, where Suga and Tae tried to protect JM from getting mobbed (if video is missing check bottom of this post. I hate tumblr)

You could see Jimin moving towards JK. Now some may argue he was trying to protect the JK who seemed oblivious to what was going on but I beg to differ.

I just think Jimin was moving towards JK because that's his safe haven. That's the person he feels the most safe with. 'Jk will protect' 'JK is strong.' He felt threatened and his instincts was to fin that person whom he feels would and should protect him- and that person usually isn't very far away.

And no, I'm not being biased. It's just I can't in good conscience theorize and make wild assumptions about Jimin's emotional needs the way I would the other's because unlike the others, Jimin keeps showing us what he wants. Y'all are just not listening.

It is why I said, JK on paper seemed like the last person to meet Jimin's emotional needs. He didn't strike me as the ambitious type or the daring type the way Yoongi presented himself in early days. It is why I shipped Yoonmin or even Vmin.

And even in those ships, I didn't believe they were real. Suga was too emotional closed off and wouldn't

And as I explained, having been denied his ambitions, it's not a stretch to assume, Jimin desires an ambitious partner. One who loves the stage, loves their career.

But I feel, most people including myself underestimated Jungkook. As much as JK may not appear as ambitious career wise, he is one of the most passionate members of group.

His decision to join BTS was driven purely by passion, his decision to start GCF, get a tattoo and every other endeavor he's embarked has been driven purely by his passion. And passion is a variant of ambition.

Jimin pursues his ambitious and JK pursues his passions- they are the same in the same way. And I see why Jimin will tell JK they are one and the same. They are more alike than we think they are.

So yes, Jimin needs an ambitious partner but a passionate partner equally suffices.

What equally suffices is a supportive partner. One willing to sacrifice their ambitions or needs when it comes to it, to accommodate Jimin's needs. Jimin is very competitive in nature and hates to lose, we've been told.

And nobody lets Jimin win the way JK does. Nobody. It's funny, because VMin's dumpling fight took days/weeks to resolve. And Jikook's raining dat fight took a few hours.

What hit me about that tale as told by Jikook was JK going to Jimin to resolve their fight- another instance he let Jimin win. Tae loves Jimin but I don't see him sacrificing his ego and pride the way JK would for Jimin. I don't see any member doing that for Jimin quite frankly.

It is one way I see JK nurturing Jimin. Jk can be hard headed but there is a softness and a tenderness to him that's speaks to Jimin's love language.

I can go on and on about this topic, you know? Lol

Signed,

GOLDY

[haec-est-fides]

Hi, can we discuss how -- however he was influenced by Gaea -- Octavian was likely very familiar with the Triumvirate? It’s subtle, but it shows up most clearly in the way he talks.

(Personally, I think Octavian might have been raised by one of the Imperial Households, but you could just read it as him being in contact with the Triumvirate for a significant amount of time.)

The most glaring red flag imo is that we learn from Rachel (in Hidden Oracle) that the Greek / Roman parley in House of Hades was held on property owned by Nero. This is more important than the fact that Octavian was merely funded by Triumvirate Holdings, because a) it makes an in-person meeting more likely and b) Luke was also funded by the Triumvirate and he doesn’t have the same connection that I’m seeing in Octavian.

Looking back to the parley scene, Octavian goes so far as to mock Rachel by saying, “You’re the Oracle of Delphi? Right. And I’m the Emperor Nero.” It may feel like a throwaway line, but it’s foreshadowing, plain and simple. In universe, I’m almost entirely certain that the reason Octavian says Nero and not Augustus (his namesake, as he loves reminding people) is that he’d recently talked to Nero and knows whose building they’re on. It’s like a Freudian slip -- and it’s just the tip of the iceberg, because Octavian slips up like that a lot.

Let’s start small: Octavian tends to speak in a rather dramatic, formal way. (He says “alas” in ordinary conversation, for instance.) He’s intentionally dramatic and somewhat sarcastic at times, sure, but I think it goes deeper than that. {I bring up one of my headcanons here, but it isn’t the crux of the whole argument. Bear with me.} I find it likely that Octavian learned Latin as his first language -- namely from the fact that his family has been sending kids to Camp Jupiter for over a century and his attachment to the idea of being a true / traditional Roman -- which would have an impact on how he speaks English. It would make sense, then, that his English speech patterns are similar to those of other native Latin speakers -- like the Triumvirate.

Trials of Apollo shows us that the triumvirs also tend to use more formal English, such as avoiding contractions and using what we might consider to be dated terms and phrasings (though this certainly isn’t a hard rule). Again, I don’t think it’s really conscious, but rather a byproduct of being native Latin speakers. In Hidden Oracle, for example, Nero says (to Apollo), “My own forefather does not recognize me?” I’d consider both his use of the word “forefather” and his avoidance of “doesn’t” to be a concise example of what I’m talking about.

It’s also true that few other characters use “alas” like Octavian does. In Heroes of Olympus, it’s only gods / titans / monsters who use the word “alas” (besides Octavian). In Trials of Apollo, it’s actually Apollo himself who uses that word the most (though remember, he’s also the narrator). He says “alas” 5 times in Hidden Oracle and ups it to 12 in Dark Prophecy. Do I need to keep counting? Beyond Apollo’s narration, Macro, Medea, and Caligula all say “alas” at least once in Burning Maze. All of these characters speak ancient languages, and half of them are native Latin speakers. I’ll admit that maybe it isn’t wholly a Latin thing, but there’s still a case for Octavian speaking in a way that could have been influenced by the emperors and their entourages.

Moving a step beyond nitpick, the connection between Octavian and the Triumvirate can also be seen in what Octavian says and the words he uses throughout Heroes of Olympus. We can split the analysis into 3 ideological themes, really: loyal Romans, immortality, and the future.

In Son of Neptune, Octavian calls himself a “loyal Roman” in a conversation with Percy. It’s rhetoric, a succinct yet subtle way to express Octavian’s ideology / self-conception / political striving, and that’s exactly the point. Later, in Blood of Olympus, Michael Kahale criticizes the people that Octavian is recruiting into the legion, calling them murderers, thieves, and traitors. Octavian, on the other hand, calls them “loyal demigods” -- again, fully aware of the rhetoric of that statement. Bryce Lawrence, one of said recruits, calls himself a “loyal Roman” too in order to appeal to Octavian and be permitted to rejoin the legion after his exile.

The reason this recurring “loyal Roman” motif strikes me is that it’s eerily similar ideology and phrasing to something Nero says in Hidden Oracle. Apollo asks, “The other two emperors. Who are they?” and Nero responds, “Good Romans -- men who, like me, have the willpower to do what is needed.” A line from Caligula’s speech before battle in Tyrant’s Tomb echoes the same sentiment: “It’s time to be true Romans!” In Tower of Nero, Nero also talks about bringing back “traditional Roman values”.

Apollo hits the nail on the head with his commentary: “The fact that Nero -- a man who had killed his own mother -- was talking about defending traditional Roman values...that was just about the most Roman thing I could imagine.” The whole point in all of these cases is that the men talking know that the modifiers they use are 100% oratorical, are dog whistles to those who think the same way and near gaslighting to those who don’t. These modifiers -- “loyal”, “good”, “true”, “traditional” -- mean something entirely different to the person saying them than they do to the heroes / average person! That’s a fascinating and complex parallel.

Immortality comes up in similarly echoed ways, showing that Octavian and the Triumvirate seem to be on the same page, coming from the same viewpoint, thinking alike. In Son of Neptune, what Octavian says to Mars is interesting especially in light of the Triumvirate. Mars, explaining the danger posed by the open Doors of Death, asks the gathered legion, “Can you imagine a world in which no one dies -- ever?” Octavian, despite his showy deference, interrupts the god, “But, ah, mighty all-powerful Lord Mars, if we can’t die, isn’t that a good thing? If we can stay alive indefinitely--” Octavian isn’t outright stupid, so I doubt he’s entirely thinking through what he says here. Of course it would be bad for one’s enemies to never die, but if you consider Octavian to be the type to be tempted by immortality? His interruption seems more in character and more likely if he has immortals or even aspirations to immortality in mind at the time.

In Blood of Olympus, Reyna’s vision of the Roman war-camp gives more weight to what I’ll call the immortality hypothesis. She notes Octavian’s “gilded chair that looked suspiciously like a throne”, how his new title of Pontifex Maximus elevates him “almost to the level of emperor”, and of course there’s the altar: “a marble altar....no doubt for the gods. But to Reyna it looked like an altar to Octavian himself.” In Hidden Oracle, it comes up several times -- even from Nero himself -- that the Triumvirate turned the ancient Imperial Cult into something powerful, something that could make them immortal. The Imperial Cult, at its simplest, looked a lot like what Octavian is doing in Reyna’s vision. Whether the Triumvirate told Octavian to do any of this, he got the idea from them, or he came up with it on his own, it’s another sign of similar thinking, at the very least.

Finally, the future -- which, of course, is bound to come up often where an augur is concerned, but I’m thinking of one line in particular. In Blood of Olympus, Octavian tells Michael about his plans, blatantly admitting that he’s aiming to declare himself “First Citizen” like his ancestor Augustus. (That title is princeps in Latin, and it’s an imperial title all three of the triumvirs use.) His Augustan lineage, which makes Octavian a legacy of Apollo from the same bloodline source that both Nero and Caligula get that status from, is another puzzle piece. Octavian is open about his heritage, his family is recognized as wealthy and powerful in New Rome and yet is never present there, and the Triumvirate seems unlikely to lose track of their relatives. Even so, what Octavian tells Michael next is a less speculative tie: “We will rule the future.” This is, specifically, the way Apollo frames the threat posed by the Triumvirate throughout Trials of Apollo once he becomes aware of their plan regarding Python and the oracles. A lot of that description comes after Apollo hears something Nero says to Python: “When we control all four Oracles, we will control fate itself!”

I suppose a facetious TL;DR might be that if you told me that Nero (canonically the best orator in the Greco-Roman Riordanverse) had been giving Octavian (canonically the best orator at Camp Jupiter) lessons in oratory or that Caligula had taken Octavian under his wing and every Tuesday they talked about world domination over coffee, I wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest.

Maybe this post is more of a Rorschach inkblot test for myself and how I read these books. Maybe I’m trying to read way too deeply. Whatever the case, I think that there’s something more to be said about Octavian and the Triumvirate than funding, and no one has been saying it.

[lovinglokilaufeyson]

Caught - D.M

Pairings: Draco Malfoy x Reader 

Warnings: Smut, Dom!Draco, Masturbation, Fluff (at the end)

Wordcount: 1246

Summary: Draco is wandering the castle, looking for one of his Slytherin friends. When he passes by lonely broom closet, he hears something interesting inside. Intrigued, he enters. 

A/N: I know this isn’t really my usual scene, however, I rewatched the Harry Potter series and regained my love for Draco Malfoy (something about those bad boys). I’m considering possibly starting to write for both Draco and Loki, if people are into that idea. This is a very smutty imagine, and contains Draco catching someone . . . If you decide to read further, I hope you enjoy! Also, I’m not sure if there’ll be a part two to this, but I did really enjoy writing it. If you want a part two or this story to continue, let me know! Thanks for all the support guys!

Draco Malfoy was on a mission to find Goyle before the Quidditch match later that evening. Everyone was excited to see Ravenclaw and Gryffindor play the final game of the year. After lunch, Draco couldn’t find Goyle anywhere. He had search the common room, the kitchen, and every classroom he could think of. It was stupid of him to think that Goyle might actually be studying, but, it was worth a shot. Just as Draco was about to give up on his search, he heard - what was that - moaning? Draco smirked at the thought of two wizards getting it on in a nearby broom closet. Typically, the two wizards would be smart enough to use a silencing spell on themselves, but apparently, these wizards had forgotten. 

Draco was about to move on, but quickly heard something he wouldn’t forget anytime soon. “Ugh, yes, Draco!” the girl cried. Draco instantly raised his eyebrows, intrigued. He was the only Draco attending Hogwarts as of the moment - and that meant, whoever this mystery girl was - she was alone. Someone possibly quiet and reserved, especially since everyone was in attendance at the Quidditch pitch, aside from Draco and maybe a few others. 

Draco knocked on the door, and within a few moments, it opened, revealing a very disheveled Y/N L/N, someone Draco had been interested in for a while. However, she was a Y/H (your house) and Draco didn’t think she would’ve been interested in him. Despite his beliefs, your previous actions while in the closet made the boy believe you may be very interested in him. “Draco, hi!” You panicked, picking up your book bags and readjusting yourself. “You called?” He smirked, making it almost entirely obvious that he had caught you - in a very vulnerable position, he might add. “Well - the thing about that- is- um- well- I-” you stuttered. “You didn’t mean to get caught, did you?” Draco asked, almost interrogating you at this point. “Well- um- no-not exactly. I forgot to do the silencing spell” You stated. “I see” he spoke, playing with the end of Y/H colored tie. 

“You naughty little thing” he had you now “have you done this before?” He asked. “Maybe once or twice, I just-” he cut you off, pulling you back inside the closet, locking the door, and pushing you up against the wall in an instant. After intertwining your tongue with his for several minutes, he pulled away. You groaned in disagreement, wanting his tongue back with yours. “Shhhh” 

Draco demanded, almost instantly taking off his own tie to cover your mouth. God, you looked so hot with his emerald green tie around your head, successfully gagging you. He began unbuttoning your plain white shirt, throwing it as well as your tie to the ground. He then removed your lace bra, giving your breasts a squeeze. You moaned through the emerald green tie as he circled each of your nipples with his tongue, suckling on them. It felt good. “Did you finish?” Draco asked you after that, looking up at you. You shook your head. You had always found it difficult to finish off yourself, it had only happened on several occasions, which were definitely not recently. 

Malfoy moved you to a nearby stool, setting you down on your back. He held you with his hands behind your knees, revealing your bare vagina to him. He smirked. “No panties? Surely you were wearing panties before you entered this closet, Y/N.” You pointed to your bag, Draco instantly grabbing it with one hand before searching for them. They weren’t hard to find, as you were trying to leave in such a rush, you simply threw them on top of your other belongings. Draco brought the underwear up to his nose, taking a whiff. He sighed in contentment, stuffing the panties into his pants pocket. You tried to gasp, to stop him, but Malfoy merely smirked at your reaction. You were his now. 

Bringing you back onto your back, Draco dove for your center, his mouth coming in contact. He entered his tongue directly inside of you, which nearly brought you off of the edge. He let one of his hands linger from your legs, playing with your clit. Eventually, Draco brought his index finger towards your center, circling it. Meanwhile, his mouth sucked on your clit, nearly bringing you off the edge once more. However, he released his mouth, and you moaned in discontentment again. “Quiet my sweet. You must be patient. I must mark you first. As he did with your neck, collarbones, and breasts, Draco sucked harshly on your inner thighs, leaving a multitude of marks, mostly dark and harsh. However, there were also lighter marks from his quick, subtle kisses. You were shocked at how much he was determined to mark you as his. 

Eventually, he brought his index and middle finger into you, once again circling your clit with his tongue. This time, you were determined to finish. You had a ruggedly handsome bad boy - Draco Malfoy, pleasuring you for all you were worth. You placed your hands in his soft platinum blonde locks, tugging at them slightly. Yes, you had a crush on Draco for as long as you could remember, but he had never given you the time of day. You eventually only lusted after him, believing that nothing could bring you two together. However, this specific instance made you think that maybe - just maybe - things could blossom between you. You didn’t get your hopes up, however, just in case. 

The heat that had nested itself inside your stomach was gently building, you could feel your orgasm finally approaching. With two of his fingers fiercely pumping in and out of you, and his tongue violently swirling around your clit, you finally came. And Merlin did it feel good. 

-

Draco, after licking up your juices, tenderly helped you replace your bra, button up, and tie. He removed his emerald green tie from around your mouth, it stained with a moistness from your saliva, your yearning for him. This too, he decided, would be the perfect souvenir from this experience. He would keep it for future encounters. He assured himself there would be more like this one. Now that he discovered your yearning and desire for him, at least physically, he was determined to keep you wrapped around his finger. Little did Draco Malfoy know, it was he that was wrapped around yours. 

“Y/N,” he started, and you turned your attention towards Draco, who had previously helped you create a “put together” hairstyle that wasn’t as disheveled as your previous. “Yes?” You replied. “Would you like to accompany me to the celebration party of either Gryffindor or Ravenclaw, later tonight?” Y/N instantly smiled. She long desired for Draco to notice her, and for some reason, today seemed to be the day.  “I would like that.” She responded, and the boy smiled with contentment. Maybe his life was headed in the right direction. There was a wonderful girl that seemed to reciprocate his feelings, his classes were going well, and his sex life seemed that it would be getting a whole lot more interesting. “Do you know who’s gonna win?” She asked, slightly confused as to how Draco invited her to both celebrations. “No, I just know that I’m Draco Malfoy and I can get into either.” Malfoy winked at her, leaving Y/N entirely flustered, yet excited for the night ahead. But first, she needed to go and replace her panties. 

[downwiththeficness]

In the Bond-Chapter 23 (Final Chapter)

Summary: Lilah often wished she’d never said yes to working with the Gecko brothers—usually while dodging gunfire. At no time was she regretting that decision more than when she’s hanging upside down from the ceiling, staring down a group of hungry culebras and one (1) extremely powerful sun god.

Word Count: ~7,950

Warnings: Violence, blood, the use of explosives, a bad movie reference, death (kind of)

A/N: This is an AU of my Story In the Blood, which can be read here. Basically, this fic explores what would have happened if Lilah had met up with Geckos before she met Brasa.

Taglist: @symbiont13  

Start from the beginning   Previous Chapter 

Read on AO3   Masterlist

They were once again sitting around the conference table looking at a map. In this instance, the squabbling had, thankfully, been kept at a minimum. With a common enemy between them, all the anger and mistrust of each other had been redirected outwardly. There was no sense in fighting with one another when a greater peril threatened them all.

Lilah had marked several points all along an open space in the desert—possible hideouts Benny had used in the past. Javier was currently working with a small, trusted crew to root out where he might be through other means. While waiting for new information, they developed about five plans, all centered around obliterating the ever loving hell out of him.

She’d given up on steering the plan into less violent territory, settling for making things as quick and as efficient as possible. Lilah wanted no more incidents of near-death for the people in this room, herself included. If that meant others had to die, then so be it.

Seth leaned back in his chair, “We won’t be able to get any further on this until we know where he’s holed up. I say we get some food.”

They’d been at it for hours, and though Lilah wasn’t particularly hungry, she was glad for the prospect of a break.

“Pizza?” Seth asked, turning to the only other person in the room not on a liquid diet.

Lilah shrugged, “Long as its not from that place across from the grocery.”

“Oh, come on,” Seth groused, “Its not that bad.”

“The health inspection code is a ‘C’,” she countered, “They found rats.”

“Not in the pizza.”

She leveled a stern look at him, “They found them in the fryers.”

Seth rolled his eyes, but relented, “Alright. I’ll pick another place.”

Lilah leaned on her elbows with an indulgent expression as Seth took out a phone and pulled up the website to order. The phone wavering in her vision, the reminder of how she’d been captured, made her flinch. She covered it by running her hand over the map, but not before Brasa felt it.

Sitting to her right, he had been texting frequently with Javier, relaying the updates as he got them. Sensing her unease, his thumbs paused over the screen as he mentally reached out to her.

Lilah rolled her shoulders, taking the comfort he offered. She had a mission to accomplish. She could cry about being kidnapped later. Belatedly, Lilah realized that the ‘deal with later’ pile was pretty damn big and she would definitely have to take some time to actually deal with it.

Richie, who had been checking in on Kate, tossed his phone onto the table, “Much as I hate to ask, I haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

Brasa gave a curt nod, “I’ll have something brought to us.”

“Its appreciated,” Richie replied in a rare instance of sincere, professional gratitude.

She took in Richie’s appearance. He looked...tired. As a man of nearly unbounded energy, to see the glint in his eye diminished was unsettling.

“I’m sorry about Jackknife’s,” she said, catching his attention.

He lifted a shoulder in affected nonchalance, “Its good. We’ll rebuild.”

That boded well. Lilah half expected to hear that he was moving on to another high risk, high yield project. That he was sticking with the place hinted at Kate’s grounding presence.

“Did the bar top survive?”

Richie smiled, “Yeah. Its a bit singed.”

“That’ll just give it character.”

“Fair point,” he conceded, pushing his glasses further up his nose, “We got interviews with contractors in a few weeks.”

She made a soft sound of praise, “Look at you, doing interviews, being official.”

His eyes dropped, demure, “We figured we should actually follow the policies you wrote.”

“That’s probably a good idea.”

Richie’s attention was momentarily taken by a staff asking him about his blood type preferences, and Lilah found herself staring at the map. The ground cover was too wide, she didn’t have enough supplies. There were too many unknowns for her to be comfortable with moving forward. It frustrated her to no end that she couldn’t just make a decision and be done with it—execute.

The door to the conference room opened and Javier strolled in. Dressed in all white, a gleaming silver cane tapping along beside him, he was smiling wide. Cat and canary.

“I have brought some guests.”

Two staff were each dragging along a single, fighting person. Lilah didn’t recognize them, but she caught their fangs flashing as they grunted in pain. Clothing bloodstained and ripped, they looked like they’d been in a serious fight—which she guessed they had.

Brasa stood, gloved hand sliding along the wood of the table as he circled it, “Do they have the information we need.”

Javier’s smile held, “I believe they do.”

“Good. Bring them to my office.”

“As you wish.”

Brasa watched them go, then turned to the group, “I will need to question them. You may remain here for the time being. Rest. Eat. I will return when I have Benny’s location.”

Lilah cut in, “I’m going with you.”

He fixed her with a hard look, “This is not an easy thing to do. I will very likely need to hurt them.”

She blinked, “I’m sorry, who in this room just got kidnapped? I think I’m owed a little time to take out some aggression.”

From his perch on the tabletop, Richie drawled, “She’s got a point.”

Brasa glared at Richie, earning himself an amused laugh. Then, he gave a single, curt nod, and reached out for her. Lilah took his hand and followed him out of the conference room and to his public office. The two chairs that normally sat in front of his desk had been pulled out so that they faced the walkway dissecting the room. In each sat a battered culebra—one with his head hanging down, the other glaring defiantly at no one in particular.

Lilah let Brasa lead her to them. His step slowed several paces away and he squeezed her hand before letting go. Lilah stopped where he left her, folding her hands in front of her body as she took in the scene.

Javier was standing off to the side, the staff having left prior to their arrival. His expression was relaxed, but she sensed a hardness underneath it. They’d done this before. Possibly hundreds of times over their unimaginably long lives. She drew in a breath to steady herself.

Brasa pushed his hands into his pockets as he regarded them, “What are your names?”

“Up yours,” came from the glaring one.

Without hesitation, and seemingly without thought, Brasa kicked out. His foot landed on the knee of ‘up yours’, the bone crunching audibly. Lilah felt her hands clench at the sound, but she managed to keep the wince from her face. ‘Up yours’ screamed in pain, his chin tilted up to the ceiling. He let out another, softer sound, then visibly calmed himself. He’d been prepped for this.

Stepping forward, Lilah edged around Brasa, one hand brushing his arm. She leaned down and caught the eye of ‘up yours’, “This will go much easier for you if you answer our questions.”

His glare returned, more fierce than before, “We’re prepared to die for this.”

Lilah nodded, two fingers touching his temple, “We’ll grant you that. Death is much better than what he,” she jerked her head towards Brasa, “is going to do to you if you refuse to cooperate.”

“Luis,” came a small voice to her right.

Lilah glanced over at him, “Luis. Is that you?”

He nodded.

“And this one?”

A hesitation, then, “Rafe.”

“Rafe,” Lilah echoed, turning her attention forward once again. “Where is Benny?”

Rafe pulled away from her touch, “Nowhere. Everywhere.”

She very nearly rolled her eyes. They knew that Benny had created a kind of weird mystique around himself and his mission. They also knew that he had cast them as the villains in the story. The technique made a lot of sense—it was still annoying as fuck.

A scoff from Brasa, followed by, “Spare us your delusions.”

Lilah straightened to standing, “Benny failed you over and over. Why continue to protect him?”

Luis cast her a look that was edging on pathetic, “He saved us.”

“From what?”

“From you,” Rafe answered, something more than derision in his voice. Hatred, perhaps.

Brasa moved. Slow. Relaxed. “Why would you need to be saved from us?”

Another answer from Rafe, “You are Xibalban. We know what you do to our kind.”

There it was. They’d been told enough to keep them scared—little truths that were coated in a thin, thin lie. Easy to swallow. Easy to accept. Easy to break.

“It is true that my people once committed inconceivable atrocities against yours,” Brasa allowed with a congenial dip of his head, “But that is not what I intend, nor is it what I will allow. Not any longer.”

Rafe sneered, “Liar.”

“Sometimes,” Brasa admitted, “When the moment calls for it. But, this is not that moment. I am not lying.”

Luis spoke, his lips trembling, “We don’t know that. You’ve been hunting us down. Killing us.”

Again, Brasa acknowledged the truth for what it was, “Only those who put us all at risk.”

Lilah could see how this was going to play out, could already hear the back and forth that would take time that they just didn’t have. Benny could strike again at any time, possibly with more firepower. Every second they spent debating right and wrong, good and bad, was a second that could cost the life of someone she cared about. Lilah made a decision.

Reaching into the pocket of Brasa’s slacks, she pulled out his knife, flipping the blade open. With deliberate slowness, she showed each of them the weapon. Then, she started talking.

“I’m going to give you an opportunity. The offer is time limited, and it will be given to only one of you.  Tell us where Benny is, and you live. First come, first serve.”

The room was quiet, save for the near constant snarls coming from Rafe. Lilah waited. Knife in hand, she simply let the quiet hold, let the uncomfortable stillness of silence make them squirm. If they knew Benny’s whereabouts, they’d tell her, and soon.

Luis broke first, “He’s in the tunnels, about ten miles north of where he...found you.”

The last two words were halting, as if he knew he shouldn’t say it, but couldn’t quite help himself. Next to her, Brasa growled low and long. She could feel the heat of his anger build both physically and within the confines of the bond.

“We have a winner,” she rasped, affected by how viscerally Brasa was emoting. Knowing that the longer they sat there, the risk of blood spilling would rise exponentially, Lilah turned from Brasa, “Javier, if you would, take Luis to be questioned further.”

“As you wish, Lady Lilah.”

Brasa held up a hand, “I want details, Javier. I want to know what Benny is planning.”

With a flourish, Javier hauled Luis up, tossing him towards the door, “I will take care of this.”

Luis landed hard on his knees, grunting in pain. But, he got up and let Javier lead him, limping, out of the room. The door closed with a kind of hard finality that eased Lilah’s anxiety. She felt Brasa’s confidence in Javier’s ability to get more of what they needed from Luis.

That left Rafe.

Lilah’s fingers gripped the knife, her jaw set, “Were you there when Benny took me?”

She didn’t recognize him, but she’d been hit pretty hard and had been too preoccupied with playing possum to memorize the faces of the people hauling her away. Beside her, Brasa removed his gloves.

Rafe shook his head.

“You’re sure?”

Another shake.

“I believe you.”

He visibly relaxed.

“But,” she continued, “I did say the offer would only be given to one of you.”

Rafe, knowing that she wasn’t going to relent, let out a sound of rage, rising unsteadily from the chair, hands outstretched towards her. He was stopped by Brasa’s hand around his throat. There was an almost too soft to hear pop as his larynx was crushed, the sound of his anger cut off with a wheeze.

Lilah closed the knife and slipped it back into Brasa’s pocket. Then, deliberately, she took a step back and crossed her arms. She’d said that she wanted vengeance, but exacting it with her own hands felt somehow unnecessary. All the fire that had been there five minutes before dissipated, leaving her feeling deflated.

Brasa had no such issues. His fingers curled deeper into Rafe’s throat, pushing beneath his skin. Blood welled up, dripping down the back of his hand to the floor. Lilah didn’t have to look at his eyes to know that they were red with rage, the glow of his power burning ever brighter beneath his skin. Flame burst from Rafe’s eyes, smoke wafting from his pores. He seared from the inside out, his body cracking into dust from the top down.

Brasa’s arm dropped, and he wiped the dust from his hands, his attention on the pile at his feet, “I should get a broom.”

Lilah looked at the spread of particles, trying hard not to think about the fact that it had once been a person, “We might have more important things to do right now.”

His brows quirked, “You might be right.”

***

Lilah stood at her station, well away from where the action would go down. The night was deep and dark, the new moon casting no light to guide their way. She looked over her equipment, one hand brushing over the black metal box sitting innocently to her right. Her laptop was gently whirring, all comms connected. At her thigh, her pistol rested in its holster, her knife strapped to her arm. Lilah hoped she wouldn’t have to use them.

According to Javier, Luis had talked freely, answered question after question. All of this was relayed to Lilah in detail until she felt like she had a good grasp on Benny’s plan. Brasa had sent Javier to set up the final blow, refusing to allow Lilah to do it, herself, as was her preference. She was too tired to argue, never having fully rested since the bomb had gone off two days before.

It was hard to think about it, the breakneck pace she’d been going at over that time. Lilah couldn’t even nail down if she’d slept properly, couldn’t remember eating or showering. And so, when Brasa had firmly pulled her into their room, she hadn’t resisted.

Assured that her friends were being taken care of, she’d let Brasa strip her down and run her a bath, let him wash her with soothing motions, until the water cooled And then, they’d tumbled naked into bed, the full darkness of the room letting her fall into a deep sleep.

She wished that she could say that she felt fully rested. While Lilah had slept for a long time, she had awoken groggy. Her body ached with something that wasn’t quite injury. She sleep walked through getting ready for the day, reluctantly eating a meal next to Seth, who sat drinking coffee while he cleaned his gun.

It wasn’t until she began to set up for the job that Lilah’s brain kicked in. This was it. They could be done with this awful mess today. If they succeeded, Lilah vowed to herself that she was going to do something fun—maybe rob a museum.

As she was contemplating this, heat built at her back. She looked up to find Brasa and Javier standing not far away. Brasa was wearing the familiar uniform of leather, sunglasses perched on his nose. Next to him, Javier was very much out of uniform. Instead of a sharply tailored suit, her wore thick canvas pants and a long sleeved shirt. He’d forgone his usual cane, a literal sword strapped to his hip.

“Are we set up?” She asked Javier.

With a deferential nod, he answered, “We are.”

“And you made sure to ground the connection—its just that it could go early if you—.”

Brasa laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, “He was very thorough. This will work.”

Lilah’s jaw shut with an audible click. She pursed her lips, the effort to hold back further questions not inconsequential. She busied her hands and her mind with activating the comms.

“McNamara online,” she said evenly.

It took a few seconds to get a response, but eventually she heard the click of the mic turning on.

“Richie Gecko online.”

“Oh, shut up,” Seth groused, “We’re in place.”

“You’re the one who said we should take this seriously.”

“Yeah, but this isn’t the fucking movies.”

Lilah rolled her eyes, “Alright. Hang tight while we get a lock on him.”

Tapping her mouse pad, Lilah opened the tracking app, “You think he’ll go for it?”

Javier shifted on his feet, “I believe he will. He’s already proven that he’ll sacrifice anyone and anything to protect his own skin.”

She stared at the little dots on the screen, “And Luis?”

“Running back to daddy,” he intoned, derision tainting his voice.

“You’re sure.”

He sighed, “I’ve done this a thousand times over. I know fear. I made him very, very scared before I let him go.”

The intensity with which he spoke, the unsaid threat in his tone, was enough to make Lilah drop the subject. She turned her attention to the screen, taking note of her location and the pair of dots indicating Seth and Richie. At the bottom left corner was a renegade dot that was steadily moving towards them. She watched it shift across the screen, pixels lighting up along the path.

It stopped at a fair distance from where the other two were congregated. Lilah held her breath as she waited for it to either stay where it was or start moving again. It stayed.

“He’s back,” Lilah murmured.

A flash of headlights appeared, lighting her station. She turned around in her seat, squinting at the car coming towards them.

“Is that one of ours?”

Brasa touched her shoulder, “It is. I should have warned you. Richie insisted.”

The car pulled up, dust swirling around the tires as it came to a stop. The engine and lights cut off, the driver’s side door opened. A dark head popped up, hair pulled into a high pony tail. Kate was dressed for practicality—jeans, t shirt, jacket, boots, gun. She closed the door, and walked confidently towards them.

Lilah waved at her, “Welcome to the party.”

She smiled wryly, “Richie said I couldn’t go with him, so I thought I would go with you.”

To be honest, Lilah was grateful for the extra support. It was often the case that she was alone, running the logistics, while others were executing her plan. Today, when the stakes were high, she found that she didn’t like the thought of being by herself.

Brasa took her hand, saying lowly, “Keep the bond open.”

She nodded, “Absolutely.”

“Good,” he leaned down and kissed her temple.

With a nod to Kate, Brasa turned from them. Javier stood a moment longer, his eyes absorbing Kate in detail. Then, he stepped back and followed his lord into the darkness.

Kate sighed with an odd kind of relief, “Well, what’s the plan?”

Lilah lifted a brow, “Richie didn’t tell you?”

“He said that he would be, quote, ‘fucking shit up’, but that’s as far as I got.”

That made sense. As if he’d gotten a power up in a video game, Richie had gotten some of his energy back as they neared the start of the job. As he’d loaded up the car, he’d been fairly vibrating with energy, a wide smile wrapped around a cigarette. Seth, on the other hand, had been stone cold sober—both literally and figuratively. The seriousness of his expression, the cant of his shoulders, told her that he was determined to get this done.

“Okay,” Lilah said, sliding into her chair, “This is Seth and Richie. And this,” she pointed to the errant dot, “is Luis. We’re fairly certain that he is heading back to Benny to tell him that we know his plan.”

Kate peered at the screen, “What was his plan?”

“To nuke the entire cave system, causing a sinkhole that spans across our entire territory.”

Eyes narrowing, Kate said, “That doesn’t make sense.”

Lilah cut her a glance, “What about it doesn’t make sense?”

“Benny’s schtick is all about how Brasa is destroying their way of life, right? What does taking down the cave system do.”

Lilah hesitated, her mind running through it, “I...think its because Brasa said they built it.”

“They did what?”

Hand waving to the land in front of them, “They built it—the Xibalbans. Its this huge maze of tunnels that are carved deep into the rock. I’ve only seen some of it, but its huge and complex and had to have taken forever to accomplish.” She paused, eyes scanning the middle distance, “I think that he made the caves a physical representation of their rule.  I mean, right?”

Kate cocked her head to the side, “That could be right. Benny could also be batshit crazy.”

“Fair point.”

“Well, we can pretty much guarantee that he’s going to change his plan, knowing that we know.”

Lilah shook her head, “If you’re right and he is batshit, then we don’t know that. Crazy isn’t always predictable.”

“That is a fair point.”

“Which,” Lilah added, tapping out a few commands, “means that we need to get a little more inside information.”

She cued up the sound, activating the comm Javier had placed carefully into Luis’ pocket on the way out. For a few minutes, she had to screw around with the settings, trying to get the best sound quality.

We should keep to the plan—Benny. Make their land unlivable, give them no place to retreat. Then, we pick them off like the parasites they are.

What about the Xibalban? Came a voice she didn’t recognize.

They’ll protect their bondmate first. When they realize the danger, they’ll come running.

Lilah reflexively looked around, trying to discern if they were going to be attacked from the deep black of the landscape around them.

“Could they know where we are?”

“No,” Lilah answered, feeling her shoulders drop, “No, they couldn’t.”

“Then…?” Kate prompted, her head shaking from side to side in confusion. “Oh no… get your phone.’

“What? Why?”

“They’re gonna finish off the bars,” Kate’s voice cracked, “We have to get the staff out of there.”

With a long line of curses falling from her lips, Lilah sent off a barrage of texts to the floor manager, telling them to get themselves and everyone else out of the building. As she did that, the conversation coming from the ear piece continued.

We should cut and run—Naya.

We run now, and we’ll keep running. We have to hit them where it will hurt.

Didn’t we already do that? Benny, you burned down his lair, you bombed both their bars—every time you try to hit them, they just keep...coming for us.

That was not untrue, and Lilah hated that she agreed with Naya. Her mouth turned down as she listened, half her attention on the phone in her hands as she waited for confirmation that the staff had been taken to safety.

They aren’t invincible, Naya.

Neither are you. A sigh. Maybe we should leave. Maybe we should just leave them here and go find a place for ourselves.

And let them win? There was that voice she didn’t recognize.

If we don’t fight now, we’re gonna end up like Luis, over there.

A heavy silence landed in the middle of the conversation, and Lilah could only guess that Luis had been killed after he’d told Benny that he’d talked.

We just found each other, Benny. I don’t want to lose you so soon.

You won’t. We’ll handle this, and then we can start our lives together.

The sincerity of his tone, the way Lilah could hear every emotion steeping into his words...It helped her to understand how so many people could believe him when he told them that they could succeed.

Brasa’s voice sounded from over the bond, We’re in the caves. Where should we go?

Lilah relayed Benny’s location, telling him to be careful. She avoided details about the secondary plan, about how Benny had wanted to distract him. It wasn’t necessary. She’d taken care of it, and would fill him in later.

“They’re headed for Benny. If he wiggles out of it again, Seth and Richie will herd him to the back up plan.”

“What is the back up plan?”

“We got incoming!”

Lilah tapped the keyboard, “Seth, what’s going on?”

“Got a group of ‘em heading towards us. Richie and I will take care of it.”

“Yeah, nothing we can’t handle.”

Lilah nodded, even though they couldn’t see her, “Be safe. Don’t do anything stupid. If it gets too hairy, cut and run.”

There was a pause, then, from Seth, “Duly noted, boss.”

Unable to listen to the gunfire she knew was coming, Lilah cut the line. Next to her, Kate checked her phone, tapping on the screen a few times.

“What’s left of Jackknife’s is empty. The staff have gone to ground.”

“Good, good.”

Lilah’s phone had been silent, no response from the manager. She hoped that meant they were taking care of business and hadn’t been killed in the second wave. Her stomach rolled with regret that she hadn’t thought he’d attack there again, that she may have inadvertently put both her staff and the remaining injured culebras in danger.

We knew you’d be here—Benny.

Apparently, Brasa and Javier had arrived. She found herself leaning into the computer as she listened.

This needs to stop, Brasa’s voice was deceptively soft. She could feel how he was going to stop things, how much it took to say what came next, The two of you can go. We just want him.

Not a chance.

I can’t leave him.

This was said simultaneously, but Lilah could pick apart the variation in tone. The unknown man spitting the words out, Naya’s voice soft and weak and desperate. She resisted feeling sorry for either of them.

We will take him by force, Javier pronounced, and she could hear some rustling, then, We don’t want you, but we will go through you.

More rustling, I’m not afraid to die. And, if I get to take you out with me, that’s a bonus.

And then there was a bang that preceded the comm cutting off entirely. Lilah stared at the screen, one finger tapping on the keyboard to try to bring the sound back. No use. It was fried. Closing her eyes, Lilah reached across the bond to find that Brasa far away, further than he’d been since the beginning of all this.

She couldn’t tell if he was hurt, or if he was putting distance between them so that he could concentrate on doing what needed to be done, so that he could shield her from it.

“How fast is your car?”

Kate smiled, “Pretty damn.”

“Let’s go.”

It wasn’t until they were speeding away that Kate actually asked where they were going, “I’m literally hauling ass through the dark, here.”

Lilah pulled up her phone, opening the tracking app for the comms. She had the last location of Brasa, the little dot shining from somewhere below the ground. And then there were the two dots signifying the brothers. They were a little further South than they had been, but they were moving.

She opened the line, “Guys, you there?”

A click, “Yeah, we’re here. Kind of busy, though.”

Then, Seth cut in, “These fuckers just keep coming.”

Lilah swallowed down her rising nerves, “We’ve lost contact with Brasa and Javier. We’re gonna check it out.”

A few shots fired, the sound of it making Lilah wince. Seth’s voice followed, rough with exertion, “That’s a bad idea. He can handle himself.”

“I think,” Lilah croaked, “I think they had the same idea we did.”

There were more shots, intermittently cut through with unintelligible yelling. Lilah tried not to think about what was going on, knowing that her mind was far more creative than was typical of reality. Instead, she focused on directing Kate while she waited for a response that she might not get.

“Ah, fuck!”

“What happened?”

“Got clipped in the side,” Seth ground out, “Its not deep. I’m good.”

He wasn’t talking to her. She could tell. He was reassuring his brother.

“Quit getting hit,” Richie demanded, “We got people to kill.”

“Yes, Richie, that’s so helpful.”

Knowing that she wasn’t going to get them to focus, and the attempt might result in another injury, Lilah turned down the volume and pointed to the left of the car, “That’s about where they were.”

Kate pulled to a stop, shutting the car off, “What do you want to do?”

“I want to find him, and I want to ring his neck for leaving me in the dark.”

“Alright.”

Pull her gun from its holster, Lilah exited the car, using the headlights to peer around, “I don’t see anything.”

Kate had followed her example, a nine millimeter pointed towards the ground in front of her, “I don’t either.”

“They must still be in the caves, or—,” Lilah cut herself off as she spotted a plume of dust settling not too far away.

Kate followed her gaze, her mouth thin as she concentrated, “You think…?”

“Yeah,” Lilah breathed, “We need to be careful. The ground looks unstable.”

And indeed it did. Fissures cut through the rock below, the surface shattered in some places. Lilah eased forward, stepping back quickly when her foot sunk deep.

“Okay, what do we do?” Kate asked, taking a few steps back her eyes flicking back and forth.

“I don’t know.”

In the distance, something blew up. Another. And another. The sound came from all around them. Lilah could feel vibrations in her feet, in her chest, her hair standing on end.

“The fuck?”

Kate grabbed her arm, “The plan—they planned to blow the caves.”

Lilah stared at her, her mind slowly working to put the pieces together.

“He wasn’t going to hit the bars,” Kate said, her eyes shining with intensity, “He was going to bring us here. He knew you’d feel the hit to Brasa, knew you’d come here.”

Lilah looked down. Another bomb went off. There was no telling how many more there were, or when the ground beneath them would crumble. Angry and afraid, she reached out, slamming through the bond as it stretched thin.

I’m here. I’m fine. Javier is fine. We are near your post.

As relieved as she was to hear it, she cut through his reassurances, I already came to you. I followed the comm. Kate and I are standing on the caves.

She sensed his fear, sensed that he’d turned and was running back towards her, I’m coming.

No, no, that’s what he wants. You need to head towards Seth and Richie. They’re the next stop. Kate and I will get out of this.

Kate was already moving to the car, ushering Lilah along. Inside, she slammed the transmission into drive and they hauled ass away.

“We need to get to Seth and Richie,” Lilah said, pulling out her phone.

As she expected, their dots were moving towards the rendezvous points. Unexpectedly, the comm they’d planted on Luis was also moving. It had reconnected to the tracking system, and was flying in a twisting pattern towards the Geckos.

Lilah glared at it, flinching as a bomb went off a little too close for comfort. Kate was driving fast, the car eating up road as the engine roared. If it had been anyone else at the wheel, Lilah might have worried for her safety. As it was, Kate was a notoriously skilled getaway driver, having honed the talent over many jobs.  

She hesitated, her finger hovering over the connection button on the app. Her hunch could be wrong.

Mouth curling, Lilah connected to the comm, “You still alive?”

There was rustling along the line, a bit of feedback, then, “I am alive and well.”

“Wish I could say that I’m glad to hear it, Benny.”

He chuckled, the sound coming out forced, “Good thing I don’t give a fuck about your happiness.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“I’m guessing that you can see where I’m heading.”

“I can.”

“Good,” he bit out, “Then you’ll know when I’ve taken care of your friends.”

“You’re not going to make it that far, Benny.”

“We’ll see.”

The comm disconnected from his side. Lilah sighed and shut down the app. She pushed her phone into the pocket of her sweatshirt and fiddled with the edge of one of her sleeves.

“We almost there?”

Lilah nodded. Whatever she might have answered was cut off as a bomb went off too close to the car, the ground exploding outwards. Rocks shattered the windows on the driver’s side, the car swerving as Kate tried to keep control. A second bomb went off a moment later, the back side of the car lifting about ten feet. As it slammed back down, Lilah could hear the axle crack, knew instinctively that they had to get out, and fast.

“Out! Out!” Lilah cried as she threw off her seat belt.

Disoriented, Lilah stumbled as she got out of the car, looking over the body to see Kate slamming the door closed and rounding the hood.

“You alright?”

Lilah nodded, “I’m good. The car’s fucked, though.”

As if on cue, a bomb went off maybe a hundred yards away, and the ground shifted. Lilah felt it in a way that she couldn’t describe, an intangible feeling that scared her more than she’d ever been scared before. In between one second and the next, the ground sunk down, caving in on itself. The hole grew bigger, yawning ever wider as it worked to swallow them whole.

“Run!”

Lilah had never, never made her feet move so fast. The air whipped at her as each step slammed into the ground. The roaring in her ears was only tempered by the sound of her own breathing. A glance over her shoulder saw the car rear up before falling down into the depths, cutting off the light. Gritting her teeth, she dug into her pocket, her stride slowing as she keyed up the flashlight on her phone.

The path before them was illuminated, much good that it did them. On either side of them, the ground trembled. They weren’t going fast enough. They were going to fall.

Brasa…

He heard her, but his answer was overpowered by the way the ground fell out from under her. Lilah’s arm was caught by Kate, who dragged her to the side.

“Over there, the rock formation. That’s the safest bet.”

Not in a place to argue, Lilah followed Kate’s lead, pushing through the burn and strain of her muscles. As they neared, a tiny flicker of hope swelled, urging her to just keep moving. Lilah obeyed the feeling, arms pumping, breath punching in and out.

Another huge chunk of ground swelled up and dropped, the rumbling sound of crunching rock following. She veered, moving with Kate towards the only goal in sight.

Scrambling up, Lilah climbed as quickly as she could, digging her feet into the stone and scraping her palms. Behind her, in front of her, to her left and right, the earth roiled. She could hear more of the cave system crumble in on itself, taking whoever might be inside with it.

Near the top, with Kate huffing at her side, Lilah turned and watched the disaster unfold. It was a sight she would never forget. The whole world, as far as she could see it, rocked up and down, sinking and rising, turning over almost completely.

“He meant for us to be in that,” Kate said, the barest tremble in her voice.

“He did.”

“Fuck this guy.”

“Yeah,” Lilah said, when she could find her voice again. “Fuck this guy.”

Kate closed her eyes, and Lilah didn’t even have to guess at what she was doing. She drew in a breath to follow suit.

I’m okay. We got out.

Let me through.

Have you found Seth and Richie?

Let me through.

Tell me. Did you find them.

I...did.

And?

Seth’s hurt. We can’t stop the bleeding.

Horrified, Lilah opened her eyes, catching a similar expression on Kate’s face. She made a decision.

“Tell Richie to let you through.”

Not waiting for an answer, Lilah reached out to the bond, got a good grip, and pulled. The world tipped over, and Lilah landed hard on her knee, dry heaving.

“You could have just asked,” Brasa griped from not far away. Then, “Are you alright?”

She nodded, swallowing.  As she looked up, Lilah caught Kate landing next to Richie, who was already bending down to help her up. Next to Richie was an ashen Seth. He was leaning against their car, blood soaking clean through almost the entirely of the front of his button down. His suit jacket was crumbled a few feet away, along with his gun holsters. He looked like he was going to try to stand, took a single step, and crumpled down in a heap.

“You look like shit.”

Seth started to laugh, the sound cut off by a groan of pain, “Fuck you, too.”

Ambling over to him, Lilah sat on her heels, “We need to get you to a hospital.”

He shook his head, “I’m good here. Could use a drink, though.”

“Don’t need to thin your blood any more than it already is,” Lilah shot back, “You’re hurt. This isn’t just a flesh wound.”

“Benny got in a good shot, I’ll give him that.”

Lips sneering, Lilah said, “We’ll get him back for this. We still have an ace up our sleeve.”

Seth sucked his teeth, blood coating the enamel, “You need to be getting to that ace.”

“Not until I know you’re going to make it.”

He was already shaking his head, “This isn’t something you come back from.”

Seth lifted the hand that had been staunching the blood, a spurt shooting out with every beat of his heart until he covered it again.

Lilah to a moment to think, “You can. You can come back from this. Richie can help you.”

She knew the moment that he understood what she was saying. She also knew that he was going to refuse.

“I’m not having this asshole,” he pointed to his brother, “Hold it over me for eternity, thank you very much. I’ve had enough of that already.”

“Are you seriously arguing about this while you’re dying?”

Seth glared at her, though the effect was somewhat diminished by the fact that he was struggling to focus.

Lilah laid a hand over his, worried by the cool skin beneath her fingers, “Then, let me do it.” Surprised by her own words, she glanced up at Brasa, “I can do it, right?”

His mouth parted, closed, parted again, and then he nodded, “Yes. Your blood is my blood, and blood is the conduit.”

Turning her attention back to Seth, Lilah lifted her brows in question, “It’ll be better if its me, right?”

He was quiet for a long time, so long that Lilah began to feel the hope that had sparked while the earth trembled beneath her feet begin to fade. And then he nodded.

Hand digging into her sweatshirt, Lilah pulled out her knife. She rolled it into her other hand. And then, before she could question it, she dug the blade in. Carefully, Lilah dripped the steady stream into Seth’s mouth.

He took a deep gulp, then tried to pull away. Lilah cradled the back of his head, holding him to the wound, her eyes lifting once more to her bondmate.

“How much?”

Brasa’s eyes were fixed where Seth’s mouth met her skin, “A bit more.”

Lilah held her position for a minute or two more, focused enough on her task that she didn’t hear the conversation going on around her. Then, when she thought it might be enough, she pulled away. Seth, already weak, couldn’t keep his head up. His eyes were rolled back, forehead clammy.

“How long does it take?”

This time, Richie answered, “It depends, but not long. I’ll stay with him. You guys go after Benny.”

Kate moved to stand next to Richie, “I’ll stay with him, too. He’ll need someone here who won’t rib him for ‘coming to the dark side’.”

The last little bit of that sentence was said with heavy sarcasm and a pair of finger quotes.

Lilah sheathed her knife and stood, “You’ll let me know that he’s okay.”

With half a smile, Richie tapped the ear piece, “I’ll give you live updates.”

“Thanks.”

Brasa moved to her side, holding up the little metal box from her station, “I thought you might need this.”

Lilah took it gratefully, “I do. Thank you.” She rose up on her tip toes and kissed him lightly, “Let’s go kill this shithead.”

After settling Seth as comfortably as possible, Lilah took the keys to the car from Seth’s coat and hopped into the driver’s side. Brasa’s body dropped into the passenger’s side, Javier nimbly climbing into the back.

She rolled down the window, pointing at Richie, “Real time updates.”

He gave her a little salute and shooed her away, his focus turning to his brother.

It surprised Lilah how quickly they arrived at the rendezvous point, though it was nowhere near where they’d found Seth and Richie. Over the horizon, the sky was beginning to grow pink with the rising of the sun. She pulled to a stop a good distance away from where she knew Benny would be.

If all had gone to plan, they would have all been sitting here, watching this. Lilah comforted herself with the knowledge that they were at least unhurt, mostly. Seth would get better, would be healed before she got back.

Opening the door, Lilah got out, closing it behind her, the black box tucked beneath her arm. She didn’t bother looking for Brasa and Javier to follow, already moving around the huge boulder she’d parked behind. Pulling out her phone, she checked the dot representing Benny. He was right where she wanted him to be.

Below, the rock face sheered off, giving her the best view of the helipad just across a flowing river. Lilah breathed in the cool morning air, wind blowing gently.

Brasa leaned against the rock to her right, glasses reflecting the world below, “I can do it, if you want.”

Lilah looked at him.

“You don’t have to do it, if you don’t want to.”

She caught the glimmer of Javier as he stood at a respectable distance, felt the subtle change in light as the sun continued to rise. The night seemed far away already. The anxiety. The fear. The relief. It all felt as if it were a dream. And yet, here she stood, at the precipice of committing the final act in their plan. She felt no hesitation. She felt no fear. Lilah wasn’t quite sure she could feel much of anything.

“I got it,” she said finally.

And she did—have it.

Looking down, Lilah opened the box, her thumb flicking each of the toggles upwards until red turned green. In the distance, she heard the blades of the helicopter begin the turn. She looked down. Two figures ran for the craft.

“Is that him?” She asked Brasa, knowing that his eyes were infinitely better than hers.

He craned his neck, looking down his nose, “Yes.”

Without thinking, she tapped the comm, “You still alive?”

From across the distance, Benny laughed, “I am. Tell me, is Seth?”

She sneered, “He is.”

“Shame,” Benny replied, unrepentant. Then, with a light, conversational tone, “Hey, McNamara, looks like we’ll be seeing each other again sometimes.”

They wouldn’t.

“Hey, Benny,” she shot back, “looks like you’re on the wrong side of the river.”

Lilah waited a moment more, watching as the two figures climbed inside.

She pressed the button.

The explosion was small—or, perhaps it was only small because she’d seen so many up close not an hour before. From around the helipad, the explosives went off. In a succession of fifteen or so, they obliterated the ground beneath, until it began to crumble in on itself. And then, just for good measure, the helicopter, itself, detonated. Lilah watched until the whole thing fell into the hole the first blast had created, then closed the box and looked to Brasa.

“I want to go home.”

And that’s what they did. They found Seth, Richie, and Kate where they’d left them. Stuffing everyone into the car, they went back to the bar. Lilah was not ashamed to be relieved that the place was still standing. In their absence, the elevator had been fixed. It opened to workers still making repairs, a fine smattering of dust on every surface.

Tired, and half awake, the group filed into the conference room. Seth was laid out on the tabletop. As was his way, Javier was already arranging for food, liquor, and blood to be brought to them. As Lilah moved to sit, Brasa pulled her away from the chair she’d pulled out. With quiet care, he gathered her into his lap, holding her around the waist.

She wasn’t surprised to see Richie doing the same with Kate, though he was watching his brother very closely.

“When will he wake up?” she asked.

“Any minute,” Richie answered, his voice even and sure.

“How do you know?”

“Because Javier is bringing a bottle of shitty bourbon and you know he can’t resist.”

She laughed, some of the feeling coming back to her. Resting against Brasa, she watched as Seth laid on the table, unmoving.  He’d been asleep for so long that she was doubting her decision. Sensing her unease, Brasa ran a hand up her back. Up and down. Calming.

Her shoulders didn’t move from where she’d had them bunched up by her ears until Seth drew that first, ragged breath. The relief coursed through her, tears dotting her cheeks. Sniffing, she wiped them away, resting an elbow on the table as leaned forward.

Richie eased Kate to the side, rising. He took a few steps around the table, lifting a hip and sitting not far from Seth’s head.

“Welcome back, brother.”

“Fuck. You.”

Richie laughed, “Glad to see you’re going to still be cranky when you wake up.”

“I died, you asshole.”

“I know. I was there.”

Seth tried to sit up, dropping heavily back down, “Fuck.”

The door to the conference room swung open, Javier pulling a cart in behind him.

Richie smiled, “Breakfast is here.” Then, softer, “You need to feed, Seth.”

Lilah though he would fight, thought he would grumble and pout until the hunger took over. And yet, when Richie held the bag out to him, Seth took it. With ease that could only come from watching someone do it over and over, he tore into the plastic, and drank it down.

Standing hesitantly, Lilah crossed into his field of vision. He drew back from the bag, breathing hard, game face on.

“Hey.”

He swallowed hard, “Hey.”

“You feel ok?”

One shoulder lifted, “For having nearly died, I feel pretty good.”

“Cool.” Then, “You want to steal a Renoir with me later?”