#AND THE MONEY YOU SAVE FOR YOUR HEALTH AND YOUR CAR THAT YOU'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO USE MOST OF THE TIME

[somecunttookmyurl]

insurance makes sense on a conceptual level but in reality insurance companies turn decently huge profits by a) relying on things not happening, which they mostly don't b) ensuring things mostly don't happen by exluding anything that might make "things happening" more likely and stacking it in their favour and then c) finding any excuse and loophole possible to not cover you if anything ever does happen

like. insurance would be good if it wasn't managed by insurance companies

[iknowicanbutwhy]

12 hour shifts should be illegal. Holy hell.

[my-tummy-hurts]

I need help

I really don't like asking for help, probably because I was kind of raised in a way that made me feel like asking for help means I've failed. And maybe I have, but maybe that's okay; I think part of adulthood is being okay with admitting when you've failed at something.

Anyway, I'll cut myself off before the preamble becomes a ramble, and explain my situation. Two years ago, I started making less money because of my failing health, my hours I was capable of working my very physical job had been reduced by compounded injuries that are exacerbated by the climate in which I live. As a result, I couldn't afford my rent, and had to move back in with my parents, which is much further away from where I work. A year ago, almost a direct result of this, I got into a pretty horrible car accident; it could have been worse, but I came out of it with a spinal fracture, further reducing the hours I can work.

I'm currently looking for a new job in a place with a better climate more conducive to my health, but in the meantime, I am not making enough money to pay my bills. I have no insurance, I have burned through my savings and my credit cards are near their limit, I can't even afford my phone bill.

I know this is a little out of left field, but I promise I'll keep up this relatively lighthearted (for the subject matter) blog. But I need your help. I can't make new art in my living situation, and that's killing me almost as much as the climate.

I can't offer much in return for any help, but I do have a few things; unused Steam keys, adoptables I'm looking to rehome, even an IOU for art for when my living situation allows for it. I also have some writing experience, I could possible write a short blurb for you,

Really anything you can contribute will help, but right now I need at least $70 to cover my expenses this week (phone and internet). You can donate, if you're able, via my Ko-fi:

Again, please please please don't donate if you're not able. If you can't donate money, honestly I could just use some affirmations and well wishes. I just want to not feel so hopeless.

[anjelicawrites]

I bring a potentially angsty question based on that drunk Billy gifset you just reblogged:

How does Billy react if/when reader and Michael ask about his family?

💜

Mel, you can come with all the angsty questions whenever you want!!! I love them!!!

Short answer? He doesn't have two significant others, he has two guard dogs now. Longer one? Let's dive under the cut!

Warning for reference to medications and nightmares. They/them used for reader where needed.

I think he would dodge the questions and be vague about it. Yes, he has an older sister in the police force, yes, his mum and dad still live in London and call him randomly. And that's it because, if he starts opening up about his family, he'll have to explain everything that happened to him. His face was on the papers, after he was extracted from the bombed car but neither you, nor Michael, made the connection and know the actual reason why he moved to Oxford, since the photos were old and in terrible quality, plus his story was sidelined by the bigger sensation that was the whole alt right movement fallout, and the murders connected to it.

As long as the relationship was simply based on sex, it was easier for him to give you both the least information possible, most of the time you two didn't stay over and didn't see his medications, the times he would wake up screaming from his nightmares or realize that Billy never goes back to London, not for love or money, or that his family doesn't come to visit him from time to time.

Things changed tho, like they always do.

You saw his medications by mistake, Michael almost got an heart attack when Billy fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up screaming. You didn't want to press him for information, you wanted to give him time to open up, Michael, and his big mouth, couldn't help but firing questions, Billy, obviously, clammed up and refused to say anything. If the relationship had made a step forward, thanks to Michael, it went back ten steps because Billy wasn't ready to show you two nerds who he had been and what he had done, being so ashamed of it himself.

The three of you didn't meet for weeks, Billy avoiding you on purpose, until you cornered him and made sure he told all that happened.

Talking about his family happens organically at this point.

Michael has to bite his tongue when Billy tells you the ways his family tried to tough him up, comparing him constantly to his sister who, seemingly, was amazing in every aspect of her life. He was embarrassed to admit how this constant reminder of his failures had taken a toll on his mental health, catapulting him into the waiting arms of the alt right group that used him. When Michael, finally, explodes, saying that they're all cunts, you are ready for the fallout.

"They tried their best. They failed, but tried the only way they know." Billy says, his head hanging a bit. "And that's why I can't meet them, because they'll never admit they were in the wrong." "Still cunts." "A bit, yes."

It shines in the way Billy talks about Lana, that he loves her and that love wasn't enough to salvage their relationship: she saved him but was the reason Billy kept falling and falling into the depths of depression; it wasn't her fault, she was the unwilling catalyst though, and you can't forget it. You hug Billy tight and he makes himself as small as possible to fit your frame and feel your hands in his hair, while Michael is grumbling about the whole situation in the background: he's not one for forgiveness. Not that you don't agree: Billy can do whatever he wants with his relationship with his family, you're never going to forgive and forget, even if Billy does. Someone needs to look into these people's eyes and remind them of what they did to him, the harm they caused to Billy, and still to this day.

That his parents and, to an extent, his sister did it believing they were doing right by Billy doesn't truly matter on the long run, not when Billy is still suffering and believes himself to be less than what he is, simply because he doesn't meet their expectations for him.

You don't have the luxury to express your rage as outwardly as Michael is doing right now, someone needs to anchor Billy, and that's your job, but by God you're fuming as you keep him in your arms and are already planning how you're going to show him how great he is, how important he is for you: that's your goal, Michael's? He will never let his family off the hook, it's a promise; if you know someone who never forgets a slight, who is capable of holding a grudge to his grave, that's you math genius boyfriend.

You two will need to coordinate your efforts and you two will succeed in helping Billy truly flourish, and if his family tries to have say in it? They will never know what will hit them, and that's your silent promise to Billy.

Cringefail throuple taglist: @fan-goddess @moris-auri @lexwolfhale

Ewanverse taglist: @vhagar-balerion-meraxes @zaldritzosrose

[tittyinfinity]

Yes, it is going to be hard whenever capitalism comes to an end.

But the reality is that it's already collapsing in on itself and will only get worse from here on out.

Whenever people say they're done with the US government, it's not because they don't care about how people will be negatively affected – it's because it will be so much harder to fight later on down the line.

Capitalists have already been working together to make sure everyone is broke and exhausted. A good portion of our life is controlled by the corporate world & land-owners. Our bosses, landlords, and cops can control just about anything we do. Our phones spy on us and can send our info to the cops.

Capitalism is enforced through violence. There is public information about politicians taking money from corporations like health insurance & oil companies. There's public information about the US committing coups in communist and socialist countries to install fascist leaders. It has come out several times that our military is used to secure oil and other resources through terrorism. It's well-known that prisons are used to draft as many people for slave labor as they can. These companies that both pay off and install politicians to enforce policies that make them richer rely on this violence for their profit.

No capitalist candidate will never have your best interest at heart. Anyone willing to sacrifice lives for the sake of money will sacrifice your life the moment it's most convenient – all while saying that they're Helping The Country Get Better, Actually. And if our main goal is "less people dying," thinking short-term is not gonna save us. Especially when so many are already dying right now. Today.

If you're scared about the bad things that will happen when capitalism falls.....how do you think the people suffering & dying under the current system feel?

The people who have lost their homes and families? The people forced into slavery? Indigenous people who continue to lose more and more land?

All for the gas in your car, the lithium in your batteries, the land you live on, the job you work, and hell, most of the products we use.

You're worried about what might happen.... it's already happening, just not to you. And relying on the government to save you from the government isn't realistic.

Either you want imperialism, colonization, and genocide to end, or you don't. Stand up and fight while you have the chance.

Get your friends and neighbors together for direct action groups. Print out posters and put them all over the town. Don't just join protests, START them. Strike. Join the IWW. Get your coworkers together to start a union. Tell your boss to pay you more or you're all walking out. Stealing shit isn't even stealing shit – corporations & capitalists are already stealing tax money & the money produced by the labor of their workers. They take and take while they give us crumbs. We don't have to put up with this shit

[metalheadsforblacklivesmatter]

Things about America that would give Europeans a heart attack.

Many Americans are expected to drive AN HOUR to work every day. Europeans don't even visit their mom regularly if she lives 30 minutes away.

We measure distance traveled in time. Because sometimes driving 15 miles can take as long as driving 45 miles. How long you'll be in a vehicle is most important.

Zoning laws. Many of us actually do like to walk. Our major cities were designed by automotive lobbyists to force us to buy cars.

Food deserts. There's some places in America with literally zero grocery stores within 5 miles of your home.

Hospital bills. 1 emergency room visit can cost tens of thousands of dollars. Not to mention the $15,000 of you need an ambulance.

Mental health. You can be forced into grippy sock jail against your will. Then stuck with a bill that costs tens of thousands of dollars when you get out.

Speaking of medical bills. Credit reports. Remember that medical bill that costs tens of thousands of dollars? That goes on your credit report if you can't pay it. Which makes it harder to rent, buy a house, buy a car, or get a credit card.

Retirement. You can't get social security until you're 62 and social security isn't enough to live on. You're supposed to be saving money to retire on, on top of that. And based on your family's health history and cost of living. It's not unusual to need $1-2 million to retire. And it's not unusual for people to have to work into their 80s.

College. A hundred thousand dollars in student loan debt isn't unheard of and many Americans are never able to pay it off in their lifetime because interest is like 5-8%. Also. That goes on your credit report.

Minimum wage. I don't necessarily believe that Europeans would be shocked that minimum wage doesn't cover the cost of living here. But there's people that live here that are suprised to find out our minimum wage is $7.20. I've gotten into arguments over this, several times. If Americans don't believe it, how can I expect a European to?

Lack of public transit. Only like, major cities have public transit, and only a few of them have reliable public transit.

Lack of labor unions and union busting. Many European countries like France will go on nation wide strikes if an oligarch sneezes wrong. Companies in America will shut down business in entire states if the unions are getting too strong. Honestly I'm kinda surprised that we don't strike more.

Lack of paid vacation time. In a lot of countries 6 weeks is like normal. My last job I got none. And people legitimately didn't believe me when I said I had to work on Christmas or not get paid (yeah, it was a desk job). Again. If Americans can't believe it. Why would I expect Europeans to? Also I feel like Europeans would just die from the burnout because it's not uncommon for Americans to literally work themselves to death.

No. For real. I have people mad at me because I couldn't go to a family friend's wedding because they didn't believe I didn't have labor day off.

-fae

[theclaravoyant]

AN ~ how did this hit 1000wd? i'm just so happy for him!!!!!

Hen & Buck celebrate Pride. with a side of Karen my wife

for a kiss on the cheek

also on AO3

-

Mara runs ahead of them in the crowd, with little mesh fairy wings bobbing around on her back matching Jee-Yun who runs along beside her.

“Mom says not too far!” Denny calls after them, then looks back at his moms. “Hey, can we get icecream?”

“Excuse me?”

He pulls a face, exasperated. “Can we get icecream, please?”

Hen and Karen share a look. A your son's fourteen years is showing. But they can't help but smile; he's still their son, and even if he slips up on his ps and qs he still wants to include his sister and baby cousin a good time and that's the more important thing.

“Of course, yes,” Hen agrees, and digs into her bag. “Let me just find the -”

“Icecream?” pipes a voice from behind. “Hey, Uncle Buck's got this one.”

He hands over some notes as he catches back up from where he was lingering at one of the stalls.

“Hey now,” Hen warns, once Denny has said his thank yous and bounded out of ear shot, “they don't dip the stuff in gold, you know.”

“Uncle Buck better slow down now that he's got four kids hitting up his wallet,” Karen adds.

“Eh. Uncle Buck's feeling festive.” He can't wipe the smile off his face. It's like his heart is beating out of his chest with it and he can't stand still. “You know, I've been to Fair Day before, but I haven't been before. It's a lot. It's kinda crazy. All the different names and flags and stuff – how did you guys pick one?”

Hen isn't dressed particularly flag-y today; just dark shorts and a grey tank top with GIRLS printed across it in varying shades of pink. Karen on the other hand, has decked herself out in a brown blouse and a maxi skirt with varying pink rings that scream walking lesbian pride flag. It looks so natural for them, and fun, and well, if Buck's going to be doing this every year as a card carrying Member Of The Community, he'd like to dress the part. So far he's found a button up in thick vertical rainbow stripes that hangs open over his white tee shirt. It's a fun selection. But there's so much here and so many people having fun with it – they're on stilts! they're on enamel pins! they're everywhere! - it makes him want to cover his house and his car and everything he owns in the stuff.

Hen and Karen smile. They remember what it was like and for Buck, finding out older, and when there's more options with more visibility behind them than ever, and especially being Buck, king of the 4am wiki rabbit hole, the feeling must be even more intense.

“Don't overthink it, Buckaroo,” Hen advises. She pulls him over to a nearby stall, advertising face painting to raise money for rural queer mental health outreach. There's a big board of an array of flags, and little buckets with enamel pins and temporary pun-heavy tattoos. “The big secret is: everyone will try and argue about it forever. That's the double edged sword of community. You know what all these mean, right?”

“Most of them, yeah.”

“Yeah. And you know you've always got old reliable.” She gestures toward the top row of the board, which feature the classic Pride flag, the Philidelphia and the Progress flags. “But if you want to get more specific – what does your gut tell you?”

“That one.”

It's the one he has saved at the top of his tabs list. The one his eye has been drawn back to all day. He's been reading definitions on definitions on definitions and each one only seems to fit better than the last. Of course, it's that one.

“But what if it's wrong? What if it changes?”

“Then... you're out ten dollars, some kid in Alturas gets some help, and you know yourself better.”

“It's that easy, huh?”

“Hey.” Hen shrugs. “You're the one who invited your first gay kiss to your sisters wedding. Seems like you're rolling with the punches pretty well. Wanna do it?”

“Okay!” The irrepressible smile is back, and Hen finds herself beaming back at him.

“Okay!” she cheers, and turns to the attendant. “Andrea, hey! Can we get some bi flag paint for my friend here, please?”

“And you owe her for some lesbian hearts for your beautiful wife,” Karen points out, batting her eyelids to show off the trail painted up her cheek.

“Good choice,” Andrea says. She flicks her hair back over her shoulder and it's painfully flirtatious, the way she drags her eyes over him. Andrea has a bi flag of her own painted on one cheek, and gems in the colours of the rainbow on the other, highlighting her wicked cheekbones. She's got long, beautiful mahogany hair and she's tall and toned and yeah, he's most definitely still into women. Buck preens a little as she sets to work – he can't help it; he doesn't maintain this not to show it off just a little. Even if he can feel Hen and Karen rolling their eyes at him just out of sight.

When she's finished, Andrea holds a little mirror up for him to see and yeah, it just feels right. Then she turns him around to present him back to them and they look so goddamn happy for him he might cry. They might cry. Somebody might cry.

They grab each others' hands fiercely instead.

“Can we take a photo?”

Yes, please yes! He nods. Karen pulls out her phone but Hen beats her to it, and at the same time slings her free arm around him and pulls his face down to kiss his empty cheek. She snaps a selfie of the both of them.

She sends it to him later, a link to her Instagram post. It's captioned: Welcome to the family. PROUD of you Buck. And three hearts – pink, purple, blue.

[princessnijireiki]

money is such a funny thing, bc it's always simultaneously way less and way more than you would think, too.

like there's the easy joke of $5, $20, $100 is HUGE when you're a kid or young adult, but I also fairly recently was in a position where I had like $1K in the bank (in a sweet spot between a TON of major bills hitting) and it was like oh wow so $1K is a lot until it VERY SUDDENLY ISN'T bc it only STAYS a lot if your needs are already met. if your needs surpass your means, or frankly, you've been scraping by below or within your means but really shouldn't have been, that shit evaporates in an instant. car, teeth, emergency vet bills, food. poof!

or I saw a hypothetical, would you rather know every language on earth fluently, or get $3 million dollars? and I had to crunch the numbers, because if you work every year from 18 to 78 (as in well past retirement age/at the end of a lot of people's projected lifespan), you'd have to make $50K per year AFTER taxes, every year for 60 years, to earn an ACCUMULATED $3 million. at $30K/year, you'd have to work 100 years.

and then, the flipside of that is, unless you die at exactly those ages, peacefully and in perfect health, how many people still struggle to make ends meet at $30-50K even when they ARE young and healthy? what's that look like in a hurricane, or after a car wreck, a disability, having a pet, having a KID, a marriage, a divorce, a funeral? how many people make $30-50K and when that check engine light comes on, or their child needs braces, or grandma needs a home health aide, or they get injured or sick and need to take FMLA, they realize that one thing now has them financially fucked? how many people making $30-50K per year do you know who have 6 months' worth of expenses set aside in an emergency savings account?

meanwhile, for $3,000,000, that money as a lump you don't have to touch or live paycheck to paycheck on also means you can accumulate interest, invest money, and so on. the access to lifetimes of funds to provide ease to this one life is a huge privilege most of us will never, ever know, and then you find out some stupid as fuck movie or commercial campaign cost tens or hundreds of millions. those rich people who got squished in the idiot submarine... lifetimes of wealth between them and their imploding stupid boat.

and so you look at all that, and you look at what medical debt looks like, or recovery from a fire or something, and once you see enough of that, the lottery fantasy answers get a lot more boring. like, I'd still have to finish this degree, get and keep a job to carry insurance and max out my retirement— maybe a flexible enough job that you grind for a few years to replace your house's down payment in the lump sum, then pull mortgage, utilities, insurance, etc. out of that interest, and the job income is pure health insurance, 401K, and takeout/walking around money. you pay your debts, help take care of a handful of loved ones, retire them early or pay off a house (over time, so the interest can still accrue on a bigger amount of money than the new sum from X minus $house). splurge on a vacation every so often. set up a college fund for a few kids, or neices, or nephews, or cousins.

and then it's like... go fishing. eat well! learn to sleep without fear of poverty, I don't know. know that if the money can grow, it can help a LOT of people feel safe, and that succumbing to the emotional urge to take care of everybody before that egg can grow bigger is what keeps people in multigenerational poverty, and that it's gonna mean things don't get to be easy for you mentally, emotionally, or even in terms of labor unless you're cashing out your chips right now to take care of yourself (which is also valid!). pick a charity every year to make their day.

and it's bonkers that $3mil feels like such a real number compared to some of these lotteries or very wealthy people/their property in the world, that even though it's cartoonishly out of reach, among the stars, it feels like, "is it even that much?" and like... yes, it very much is lmao, even though if you're under 50 it's not guaranteed "never have to work again" money. but that also means it's not "buy a castle & become a beekeeper slash professional poet as my only sources of income" big dreams & fantasies money, either.

[financeattips]

Millennials Money Tips for Personal Finance

It is very difficult for millennials to manage their own finances today as the world of competition requiring one to workout harder has changed in a matter of months. From student loan debt to increasing living costs, this generation has faced financial struggles that are all its own. Nevertheless, there are strategies out there that can work for the millennial in search of sustainable financial security or even just a better bottom line. Below are a few of the basic personal finance tips for millennials.

1. Set Clear Financial Goals

The first step in any financial plan is establishing specific and attainable goals. Whether it's to buy a home, pay off your student loans, or save for retirement — knowing what you're working towards will keep you more engaged and inspired. Divide your goals into short-term (one to two years), medium-term (three to five years) and long-(five or more). This approach helps you to prioritize and use your resources accordingly.

2. Create and Stick to a Budget

The Facet of Financial Management: Budgeting Track your income and expenses: The very first step is to track how much you are earning, after that what things consume your bills? Budgeting tools; you may use an app to categorize what you spend on and where they can be reduced. If possible, adhere to the 50/30/20 rule — apportion half of your funds towards needs and twenty percent for saving or repaying debt.

3. Build an Emergency Fund                                                                         

It is only a rainy day fund to act as an emergency safety net in case life decides not to follow your plan. The hopefully three to six months of absolute must-have sequestered in a separate, liquid account. It can help you with the cost of surprising expenses–whether they be medical bills or it lets you maintain your financial schedule, rather than having a huge hole in it due to car repairs.

4. Manage Debt Wisely

For many millennials, student loan debt can be a large financial weight. Start your payoff journey with high-interest debt — credit card balances are a solid place to begin. Refinance or consolidate student loans at a lower interest rate. Establish and Maintain a HISTORY of consistent on-time payments to improve your credit score, reducing overall debt.

5. Invest for the Future

If you want to create wealth then investment is the most important thing for it. If your employer offers a matching 401(k) plan, that is what you should start with. Demand more investment options like IRAs, Stocks and Mutual Funds. Simply Diversify A toasted way to diversification! The point is that, your money should earning with compounding.

6. Enhance Financial Literacy

One can be really good at making informed decision which is backed by financial literacy. Use online sources, books and courses to learn more about personal finance. Understanding concepts such as interest rates, inflation and investment options can help you make more informed financial decisions.

7. Plan for Retirement

Architecting retirement: It is never too early to plan for retirement. Save a minimum of 15% of your income toward retirement. Make use of Roth IRAs and traditional IRA tax-advantaged accounts. You may want to talk with a financial advisor who can help you put together your own retirement plan based on what you hope for in retirement and how much risk you are willing to take.

8. Protect Your Assets

But while it may not be the sexiest asset class around, insurance is integral to any complete financial plan. Make sure of health, auto and and home insurance coverage. Good idea: If you have dependents, consider life insurance. Disability insurance provides you income in the event of an illness or injury.

9. Check Your Credit Score

Great credit can unlock lower-interest rates and financial possibilities. Review your credit report on a regular basis for inaccuracies and work towards building up the score. By paying your bills on time, keeping credit card balances low and only opening new accounts when you need them (and therefore improved scores so long as other key factors don't weigh in ).

10. Seek Professional Advice

If you are unsure of where to begin or need help, then speak with a financial advisor. They can give you advice and even consult with you to build a financial plan as well. Also look for a good pedigree — Certified Financial Planner (CFP) or Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA).

With these personal finance tips, a millennial can move forward in the financial journey feeling more secure for their future. Earning money is only part of the process… its mastering discipline, consistency and continuous learning that leads to long-term financial success.

[theleafpile]

shit I wish I could tell myself in my twenties now that I'm 35:

- don't play house with that man.

- loaning money to friends is the same as throwing it in the trash. you will never get that money back.

- if it feels wrong, it is. that goes for literally everything. there are no exceptions.

- never compromise. stick to your goals, even if it means you lose people. you will lose them anyway.

- buy the best used car you can afford and be prepared to take care of it for the next ten years.

- sentimental value isn't real. stop lugging around junk. thank it for being in your life and move on.

- there's no value in having a lot of books you're never going to read again. you gained the knowledge you need. if you don't need it for reference in the near future and are only holding onto it as a status symbol, you're not doing yourself any favors.

- don't stop focusing on your health and working out. it is so much easier to maintain a healthy weight than it is to have gained and try to lose it again.

- just because you can stay up as late as you want doesn't mean you should. there is no greater freedom than being able to get enough sleep.

- those summer jobs and volunteer opportunities will do nothing for you. never work for free.

- don't buy that exotic pet. when an opportunity for something fun comes up you don't want to have to be worrying about finding someone to take care of your fucking rat or fish or whatever.

- when you start getting a regular paycheck the first thing you're going to do (after essentials) is pay your debt. then you're going to build up a nest egg of "fuck you" money. do not make big unnecessary purchases. you'd rather have savings than a new TV or furniture.

others please feel free to add on advice for their twenty-something selves. I wish I could go back and shake some sense into myself. in the end everything worked out and I am happier than I could have ever dreamed, but I could have saved myself a lot of heartache along the way.

[bisexualduckling00]

the first who ever did || ch. 2

there's things i wanna say to you

length: 3800 words

rating: m (language, brief female masturbation, a cheeky massage)

future smut MDNI!!!

chapter summary: You came here to work, not lust over your obnoxiously attractive partner. But, a tiny workplace crush never hurt anyone, right? His “no coworkers” rule was getting more and more difficult to keep. But how could he when you were there? Seducing him solely with your existence. 

a/n: lol this took a lot longer to upload than i'd originally planned but if you're impatient like me there are 23k words uploaded on ao3!! @/bisexualduckling00 as well :)

read ch. 1 here !!

Unfortunately, you could always count on Monday morning to arrive every week, but hat doesn’t mean you could always count on your alarm to go off at the right time. You cursed your way out the door, almost forgetting to lock it behind you. You had yet to walk to the main road and hail a taxi, which took at least twenty minutes, which you absolutely did not have.

“Huh. I assumed you just sleep at the embassy since I never see you leaving in the mornings,” a husky voice chuckled behind you.

“Sometimes I do,” you finished locking your door. “But now, I’m running late and I have a presentation at eight.”

Javier quirked an eyebrow and tilted his head ever so slightly. “It’s 7:30. It’s a twenty minute drive.”

“Exactly!” you waved your arms at him, exasperated. “That’s not enough time for me to catch a cab and still get there on time.” 

He bit his lower lip before chuckling again. How dare he laugh at your struggle! “Loquita, you mean to tell me you’ve been paying for a taxi from here to the embassy twice a day for the past three weeks?” You shrugged. “Let’s go,” he motioned you towards his door, already beginning to walk away.

You followed him wordlessly, unsure what exactly was happening. His strides were long, his too-tight pants clinging tightly to his ass. Not that you were looking. Javi opened the passenger door, giving you an expectant look. “Come on, don’t make me tell you twice,” he clicked his tongue on the side of his mouth.

Obeying, you slid into the seat. The car was surprisingly clean, with a little green air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror. The sweet scent of tobacco tickled your nose, you knew the smell clung to him, and most likely couldn’t be washed away by a dozen showers. You almost mentioned how bad his smoking habit was for his health, but you knew it would just do more harm than good. 

Javi broke the silence first, “We could do this again, if you’d like.” His grip on the handle tightened the slightest bit. “Carpooling. It makes sense, saves you time and money. Is better for the environment and all that good shit.”

Your body warmed at his offer, even if it was disguised in faux-environmentalism or whatever that last comment was. “We’ll split the gas,” you offered. He gave a brisk nod, and that was that.

The rest of the car ride passed pleasantly. You rested your head on the window, enjoying Javi’s music taste as The Eagles played softly through the speakers. Between gazing at the greenery outside, you stole quick glances of Javier. You hadn’t taken the time to just look at him yet, and you found that you weren’t able to stop. 

His work-roughened hands lightly gripped the steering wheel with a casual ease, his thumb gently tapping along to the rhythm of the music. Beneath his yellow-tinted aviators sat his aquiline nose, further down was his angled jawline and thick, smooth neck. God, everything about this man was sharp and broad at the same time. He was all angles and warmth and strength. You suddenly felt overwhelmed, being in such a small space while in his presence. You had to look out the window again before your eyes could drift to his arms. Or, god forbid, his thighs. 

How were you supposed to survive this car ride twice a day, five days a week? You came here to work, not lust over your obnoxiously attractive partner. But, a tiny workplace crush never hurt anyone, right? You’d be over him in a week or two. No big deal.

-

To show your gratitude, you decided to make coffee for the two of you each morning. Javier always complained about how bad the coffee at the embassy was, and you had an espresso machine that your mother had gotten you for your 23rd birthday, so it just seemed like a no-brainer that you could pay him in delicious, freshly brewed coffee.

“Here,” you offered him the cup that morning. His brows furrowed together. “Tómalo, Javi. Es para ti,” you pushed the coffee into his hands until he finally took it, his fingertips brushing yours as he did so.

He sniffed the cup. “Me hiciste un café?” he said with a slight tilt of his head.

“Siempre te quejas del puto café gringo. This way I don’t have to deal with your whining anymore,” you said with a shrug.

Javi took a tentative sip, then a bigger one. The groan in the back of his throat almost brought you to your knees right then and there. It had you imagining things that were most definitely not appropriate fantasies to have of your partner. “This is amazing. Thank you,” he gave your shoulder a friendly nudge as you walked to his car. “You’re like my energizer bunny or something.”

You gave him a questioning glance. 

“You know, the little pink bunny? From the batteries,” he acted like that explained everything. “The coffee… batteries…how do you not know this? Anyways, you keep me going.” You knew he was just talking about the coffee, but you couldn’t help but blush at his words. 

The next day you found a yellow sticky note on your desk. ‘Lunch?’’ was scribbled in thin, stringy letters. Javi was in a meeting, but you had a sneaking suspicion that it was his way of repaying you for the coffee. Your suspicion was confirmed he returned, taking his normal seat across from you and looking up at you from below his brows. “Arepas alright?” You nodded, and that was that. 

You and Javi fell into the friendly routine of coffee in the morning (and the puto gringo cafe throughout the day, of course) and arepas in the afternoon. You’d share jokes and gossip during your daily walk to buy arepas from the street vendors and take turns choosing which station to listen to on the nightly drives back from work.

Then, he’d walk you to your door, even though it was technically right next to his door, and bid you goodnight. Just because you stayed in for the nights, didn’t mean Javier did. You still heard him leave his apartment shortly after dropping you off, and would often hear him arriving again late into the night. You didn’t know where he went off to, and you thought it better that way. Not that it was your business anyways. The two of you had become closer over the weeks, but you were still only work friends, and nothing more.

A month passed and you still weren’t over this stupid crush. It’s not like he was making it any easier on you. He wasn’t flirting, per say, he was just too…nice. How could you be frustrated at someone for being too fucking nice? Ok, it’s possible you were frustrated with yourself as well. It wasn’t as if you had been doing yourself any favors: making him coffee and sharing inside jokes and dirty looks when someone said something stupid. You were digging your own metaphorical grave of unrequited attraction. 

Each small gesture, every door he opened for you, each arepa he offered, every little smile or friendly nudge chiseled away at your plan to not dig yourself deeper than you already had. You didn’t have any friends here yet, and that combined with Javier’s attention and looks…it was like there was no other option but for you to become slightly infatuated with the man.

The following day started at 4:30 in the morning when you, Javi, and el Bloque de Búsqueda raided a suspected sicario hideout. The results were minimal, but the paperwork was not. By the time midnight rolled around, the two of you were still covered in a layer of dried sweat and dirt, barely halfway through the stacks of folders and photos that needed to be sorted and documented. “I’m sure there’s something in here that we’re missing. I can feel it,” you stretched your back, as if that would make a difference in the mass of angry muscle that had been aching all day.

“Me too. Something’s not right with this.” Javier flipped through the pages of his own file before rolling out his soldiers. You were both tense from the heavy physical exertion and the immediate eight hours of sitting in chairs with zero back support. 

“My body feels like it’s going to disintegrate,” you sighed, leaning your head into your hands. “I need a hot shower, like, now.”

“You could come back to my place,” Javier mumbled. No more than a second later, his eyes grew wide, nearly bulging out of his head upon realizing the weight of his words. “Not to shower, that’s not what I meant.” Great. Lovely to know how absolutely repulsed he was by the idea of you naked in his apartment. “I meant you could shower at your place, and then we could look over the files afterwards. At mine. The couch is more comfortable.” 

You weren’t sure you had ever heard him ramble like that. It was endearing. So endearing that even though you should say no, that you should definitely not go to his place and sit on his couch late at night, you couldn’t bring yourself to decline his offer.

“That sounds much better,” you nodded. “Let’s go.”

-

What had he just done.

The car rides alone had been fucking torture. Javier had spent half the time trying not to embarrass himself by saying something stupid and the other half trying not to get distracted by your sweet smell. What did you even smell like? Coconut? Sugar? He wasn’t sure but he knew that he craved it. Your scent. Your taste. You.

And now this? Inviting you over to shower at his place? 

Fuck. His “no coworkers” rule was getting more and more difficult to keep. But how could he when you were there? Seducing him solely with your existence. 

He knew that this was a bad idea. He hadn’t even meant to invite you. The words just slipped out, and then he’d realized what he’d said and he had to fix it somehow. It’s not that he didn’t want to spend time with you or didn’t want to be alone with you. He did. Fuck he wanted to be alone with you. But he knew how dangerous that was. His self control had already been wearing thin and he knew that if he wasn’t careful, it would snap.

-

That hot shower, alone in your apartment, was the best thing you’d felt in weeks. You changed into a pair of capri leggings and your dad’s old t-shirt from his time in the Marines, feeling clean and refreshed. Your hair was still slightly damp, but you couldn’t be bothered to dry it. You doubted Javier would mind anyways.

Javier opened the door to his apartment and you noticed that he had also changed from his usual button down and jeans to a t-shirt and sweats. He smelled of soap and mint, although you could still sense the faint cling of tobacco on his skin. His wet hair curled slightly at the base of his neck, the rest of it spilling across his forehead. And maybe you imagined it, but you could have sworn that you saw his gaze slightly drop to your chest as he let you in. 

“Something to drink?” Javi offered as you curled yourself into his couch.

“Coke again?”

“I was thinking something stronger this time,” he chuckled to himself. “But if you want-”

“No,” you interrupted. “No. I definitely need something stronger.”

He nodded, pouring you both a glass of whiskey and taking a seat next to you on the couch. You felt the weight shift, causing you to lean towards him the tiniest bit. You took a sip of the drink, it burning as it went down. You cleared your throat hoping Javi wouldn’t notice your struggle. You were more of a fruity cocktail girl yourself. A tiny smirk on the edge of his lips caught your eye. Shit. He definitely noticed, but was considerate enough to say nothing else. 

You tried to focus on the work in front of you, but your attention kept drifting to Javier. You were used to watching him work, the two of you worked together every day, after all. But never on his couch, in the comfort of his own home, with wet hair and a t-shirt that clung to his chest. You could hear the soft exhale of his breath, feel him adjust himself when he became uncomfortable. Everytime he sipped his whiskey you imagined how his lips would feel on your skin instead of the glass.

These were dangerous thoughts to be having when you were alone. And drinking.

When Javi stretched, any and all thoughts flew out of your brain. His arms rose over his chest, flexing his deltoids which only accentuated his absurdly broad shoulders. He cracked his knuckles, drawing your attention to his long fingers. Just looking at them sent a shiver up your spine. The hem of his shirt rose up an inch or two to reveal the soft patch of golden skin peeking from beneath. If that wasn’t enough, the groan from the back of his throat elicited the desire that had been simmering under the surface of your skin for weeks to the top. Goosebumps broke out along your back and even though it wasn’t cold, you swore you felt your nipples tighten.

“Sore?”

“Fuck, yes.” Javier ground out. “I hate to admit it, but my back isn’t what it used to be.” He took a long drag of his cigarette. You hadn’t even noticed that he’d lit it. 

“I could, um,” you hesitated, internally debating whether or not this was a good idea or not. Of course it wasn’t, but you hadn’t gotten here by making ‘good choices’ had you. “I could give you a massage, if you’d like?” Your hands moved to your lap, needing something to fidget with “I’d charge people ten bucks for one in college as a side hustle, so I’m basically a professional. I’d give you a discount, of course,” you weakly laughed to yourself. Fuck, you were rambling again.

Javier didn’t seem to mind though. He never did. “You want to give me a massage?” 

You nodded bashfully, “Only if you want.”

“Like I could resist your hands on my body,” he winked. 

You stood up and grabbed a bottle of lotion from the side table and a chair from the dining table. hoping that if you hid your face he wouldn’t see the bright red that had blossomed across your cheeks. You set the chair in front of the couch, “You’ll need to sit facing the backrest, and put your arms up on it, too” you told him. He obeyed, spreading his legs open as he straddled the chair. “I’ll be right behind you,” you brushed your hand across his shoulder as you slid behind him, sitting back on the couch. In this position you were straddling him from behind, your thighs gently brushing against his hips. The warmth of his body burned through the fabric of your leggings, making you inhale sharply at the contact.

Holy shit, you hadn’t been this nervous since you were seventeen and about to sleep with a boy for the first time. Javier had you feeling like a teenager again and you were both fully clothed. About that… “Um, again, you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” the last thing you wanted to do was make him feel pressured. “But it would be better if there wasn’t clothing in the way.”

“You asking me to strip for you, Conejita?” 

You were so stunned, your brain couldn’t even keep up to question his use of this new pet name. “Just- just the shirt will do.” You could feel his smirk even though he was facing away from you. The chair creaked as Javier leaned back, grabbing the bottom of his shirt and slowly peeling it up and off his body. Holy shit. You hadn’t seen him shirtless before, and it was a sight to behold. His waist was impossibly narrow but his back stretched out to his straight, broad shoulders. His round deltoids connected to the very visible outline of his trapezius. A beautifully defined line ran down the middle of his back where hip dimples peeked out from the waistband of his pants. He was a fucking piece of art.

You felt his body tense under your gaze, which was the exact opposite of your desired reaction. “Relax, Jav,” you soothed, tracing a finger down his spine. “You need to be comfortable if you want to get anything out of this.” He released a terse breath, his previous flirty demeanor entirely gone. You rubbed reassuring circles along his hip. “I’m going to start now, alright?”

“Ok,” you noticed that his voice had dropped an octave. 

You started by pumping a handful of the, surprisingly enough, eucalyptus scented lotion into your palm and spreading it across the wide expanse of Javi’s back, starting from the bottom and working your way up, gradually increasing the pressure. You loved the feeling of his bare skin beneath your palms. His back was warm and soft, dusted with a light layer of freckles. Several raised patches of scarred skin stood out to you and you wondered about the stories behind them.

Once the lotion was worked in you began to knead the skin across his back, again working your way from the bottom up. Javier sucked in a tight breath as you came to an especially stubborn knot in his shoulder. “Let me know if I’m hurting you too much. It may be uncomfortable, but you shouldn’t be in pain.” You continued working that patch of muscle, but with a gentler hand. You rubbed small circles with your thumbs until you felt the knot melting away and Javi visibly relaxing. 

He let out a long, open mouthed exhale, “That feels amazing. Please don’t stop.”

An image of Javier saying that, undressed and beneath your hands, but in a very different situation, flashed through your mind. Perhaps in his bed. What did it look like? You bet it smelled like him. Or maybe right here, on the couch. Could things have gone differently tonight if the two of you had had a few more drinks? God, you knew this was inappropriate but what else were you supposed to think of when he talked to you like that?

Focusing on the soft smell of eucalyptus, you continued your work, twisting your hands across his back, stretching the skin and underlying muscles back and forth. Up and down his back your hands roamed, thoroughly working through each tense area until you were satisfied. “You did so good, Conejita,” you bit your bottom lip to stop the gasp that threatened to escape. “If you don’t mind there’s this one spot in my neck that’s been driving me crazy for days. Right here,” he pointed to the  prominent muscle on the side of his neck. 

“Of course,” you hoped he couldn’t hear how breathy your voice had become. Pressing your thumbs to the heated skin, you circled and pinched at the amalgamated knot. How had you missed this? 

As your fingers danced across his skin, you heard something rumble at the base of Javier’s chest. A deep, primal noise. You felt it rise up through his throat and out past his lips. The quiet groan sent a deep ache shooting straight down to your core, making your chest flutter and your panties grow damp. Just from that one little noise, god damnit. 

Immediately, his body tensed up beneath you again. Hopefully all your hard work hadn’t just gone to waste. “That’s better. Thank you,” his voice was rough, as if there was still another groan trapped in his throat. 

“Any time,” you murmured. 

Looking over his shoulder, he gave you a soft, closed mouth smile, his face softening. “Really, you’re wonderful.” You noticed that his cheeks had a pinkish flush across them.  He looked so pretty like this, vulnerable and safe and relaxed. As if he wasn’t carrying so much weight on his shoulders. You were glad that you were able to ease it, even if just for the night. 

-

It was nearly three in the morning by the time you had brushed your teeth and gotten into bed. Even though you had been awake for close to twenty four straight hours, sleep refused to overtake you. Instead, your mind was wide awake, pleasurably plagued by memories of Javi’s toned, muscled figure, his smooth skin beneath your hands, and that heart-stopping noise that you had drawn out of him with nothing but your hands on his back. What other sounds would he make? With less clothes and more touching?

Would his voice remain deep and husky? Rough and raspy like the stubble on his cheeks brushing against your thighs and his calloused hands on your hips. Would he growl dirty words into your ear while he takes you from behind? You imagined how he could toss you around like you weighed nothing. How he would have his way with you, using you for his own pleasure. And god, that thought shouldn’t turn you on so much, but what could you do about it now that you knew what hid underneath his cotton button downs?

As if with a mind of its own, your hand migrated below the waistband of your underwear, fingers slipping between your already soaked folds as your mind continued to drift.

Or would he be soft and sweet? Warm and velvety like the chocolate pools of his eyes and the way his muscles moved in a smooth, fluent motion. The way he called you Conejita, gently cradling the word in his mouth like it would shatter if he wasn’t careful. You imagined him praising you, coating you with sweet, sugary words while he gently worked you over the edge. Would he try to keep quiet but be unable to prevent the little whines and whimpers from slipping out? Just the thought of Javier whimpering was enough to send a visceral shudder throughout your body.

Your eyes drifted shut as two fingers slid inside to collect your own wetness and spread it around. Your other hand rose to your tits, gently massaging it while you began to rub soft, slow circles around your clit. A small whimper arose in the back of your throat as you picked up the pace, the strokes turning longer and more repetitive. You imagined it was his hand working you, imagined his skin, hot against yours. His head between your thighs.

God, it didn’t take much after that. You tightly pinched your hardened nipple while your fingers swirled tight, fast circles, hitting just the right spot on your sensitive clit and you came right there, and clenching around nothing, wishing that Javi was there to fill the aching emptiness.

[dannypinot]

Can I ask a random question? Or questions? Do you rent or own a house? If so, what bills did you have to start paying on your own? And how did you budget?

This is a very random question indeed! I will assume you are someone looking for adulting advice... so here is some general information. When you move out you'll likely be renting first. These are the bills you will have to pay:

Rent (to start, you'll typically have to include first and last month's rent. some buildings will also want to do a credit check to make sure you're in good financial standing. They may also need confirmation that you are employed and earn a specific amount like annually 10x whatever the rent is...)

Utilities such as Water, Heat, and Electricity and Internet.

Renters Insurance

Health insurance (if it's not provided for you by your employer)

Groceries

Phone bill

Transportation related expenses (either a budget for public transit, or a car (car payment, gas etc)

And these are the necessities. Some of the above expenses can be split if you have roommates. If you spend money on take-out/restaurants, entertainment related expenses, you'll need to calculate for that too.

There's a common budgeting rule called the 50/30/20 rule. You can learn more about it here. TLDR: 50% of your after-tax income should be for necessities, 30% for your wants and 20% for your savings.

There are apps that can help you make a budget, but I think the Google spreadsheet called "budget template" is the most effective for me in keeping myself accountable (it's a default spreadsheet and you can find it on Google Sheets).

The act of physically sitting down and typing in my expenses/or even writing it down helps me immensely, but it's not for everyone.

For more advice, I recommend reading personal finance blogs like nerdwallet, or look through the personal finance and budgeting subreddits . I also like to listen to some personal finance podcasts. Here are a few that I listen to or have listened to in the past: - HerMoney with Jean Chatzky - Money Making Sense - Teach Me How to Money (hasn't been updated since 2019) - Afford Anything

The more you learn, the more comfortable you'll get with taking control of your budget and your money. Hope this helps!

[spiremire]

its that time of year again

To all the new undergrads out there, here are the best ways I found to save money without completely sucking all the joy out of life, from a current grad student :) (a lot of this advice is usamerican-centric for students that live on/very close to campus because that was my undergrad experience)

Advice under the cut because I wrote too much:

School stuff:

Don't buy the textbooks from the bookstore. Especially don't buy them new. Rent them from Chegg or Amazon, or straight up pirate them from the internet. (I am a huge advocate for textbook piracy)

You can also see if your school has a textbook swap. You can try to start a textbook swap, or coordinate with friends about swapping books if you take the same classes at different times. Maybe talk to your RA about organizing one for your dorm floor/building.

Apple, HP, and Dell all have educational discount programs, if you need a computer with a little more oomph than a Chromebook or a ThinkPad. (I also highly recommend getting anything BUT a chromebook, but I know that's not always in the cards). DON'T get an Apple computer if you are a STEM major. It will cause more headaches than it's worth.

Take advantage of the bus pass your college tuition comes with. Go places. It's not as fast as an uber but it's a hell of a lot cheaper and you've already paid for it. Consider using this service instead of keeping a car on campus, too! Parking passes are also usually pricey.

Some regions have services like ZipCar where you can rent a car by the hour. Universities where this is available often have a deal to make it more accessible to students. (Use this when the bus isn't an option! It's usually also way cheaper than an Uber, and you can get different sized cars for different needs!)

If you get sick/hurt (of the non-emergent variety) badly enough to warrant a doctor visit: try visiting your campus health center first! Students usually get a free visit or two per semester/quarter.

Your student health center will often have free safe sex supplies. Sometimes they have the good stuff. They really don't care how often you come in and dig through the condom bowl. My campus had a monthly delivery service you could sign up for (for free). I've managed to get free condoms, lube, dental dams, and gloves this way. (This is a very cheap way to figure out what lube and condoms you like and hate, btw)

Don't say no to ANY of the free stuff. Take all the t-shirts, stickers, pens, mugs, markers, discount codes, reusable shopping bags, temporary tattoos, snacks, and cheap sunglasses they're willing to give you. Even if you won't use it yourself, it all makes excellent branded merchandise for the people in your life supporting you. You can even save on gifts during holidays by passing some of this stuff off to people who will use it. (I was given a free pair of sunglasses in my freshman year that I still use—7 years later—in situations where I don't want to lose/damage my better ones).

Smaller businesses close to campus will probably have a student discount. Ask. It'll probably be less than 20% but take what you can get, because it adds up.

Often your college will have some amount of free software for you to use while you're a student. Typically Microsoft Office, but sometimes others. I've gotten access to Photoshop, ArcGIS, MATLAB, JMP Pro, and a few others this way. (Piracy is an option here, but it's more challenging because these things are more closely guarded.)

Sometimes at the end of the year, people moving out will just leave the furniture they don't want anymore outside. I don't recommend doing this, because someone has to clean it up but take advantage of it when it happens if you see something you want.

Steal food from the dining hall (if it's the buffet kind). Some places you have to be more sneaky about it, but some places you don't. My bestie used to straight up bring in two half-gallon jugs and fill one from the dining hall milk dispenser and the other with lemonade once a week or so and nobody ever stopped her or said anything. Generally dining halls are staffed by students that don't get paid enough to care that it's your fourth stop by the pizza station and you can't possibly have eaten that much pizza in the last thirty minutes. (Bring tupperware in your backpack. If they don't allow backpacks, napkins in a sweatshirt front pocket also work (transfer to tupperware once you get your bag back)

IF YOU QUALIFY FOR WORK STUDY: do it! The WS jobs generally pay better because half the wage comes from the government and half comes from the person who hired you (makes it easier to pay you more because they don't even have to budget for a minimum wage employee).

Activities:

Go to the activities put on by the dorms and various student groups. I promise you'll have more fun than you think, and they're usually free to very inexpensive. Get a free succulent. Make friendship bracelets and cute soap. Watch a free movie. Go on that kayak tour. See a sports game for a team you don't care about. This is an excellent way to supplement your work-life balance and you might make a friend.

Share streaming service passwords/costs with friends or roommates. If everyone in the friend group comes in with one, you can have the whole shebang for a fraction of the cost. Alternatively, split the cost of one or two that you rotate between every few months (in my experience, this works best seasonally: Autumn is Netflix and Hulu, Winter is HBO and Disney+ etc) Piracy is also an option here as well.

Try to make most of your fun beverages on your own at home. Limit the starbucks coffee or boba to once or twice a week. Take the $15-30/week you saved by not buying starbucks everyday and go to the movies or something. Save up for a camping trip with friends. Idk. I spend $12/every six weeks-ish on the costco-sized container of the coffee I like and that's roughly the same price as two medium lattes. I like having that money for other stuff.

If you have metered internet: do all your big downloads on the free campus network.

Support your on campus artists by going to shows, showings, exhibits, and galleries. They're often a very inexpensive way to see art.

Like reading for fun? Check out your local library. They have the books, but also movies and games. Some libraries have a Library of Things where you can borrow like. Baking pans or a lawn mower. The city library is guaranteed to be quieter than the university libraries, if that's your thing. You also probably won't have to trip a basketball player to beat them to the last available table during finals week.

If you're going on hikes that are less than 10 miles round trip, I'd argue that you really don't need much in the way of specialized equipment* (especially if you have cell service the whole time (for maps/GPS)), which makes it very inexpensive if you already have a couple water bottles, snacks, comfortable shoes, and a backpack. *See the great outdoors section for more recommendations

Live somewhere like Alaska? Like outside? Find someone who knows what they're doing and go foraging. It's very important you bring an expert the first few times ESPECIALLY if you live in an area where you could be ingesting poisonous mushrooms or berries. My roommate and I love going on berry picking hikes.

Like hiking but don't like hiking alone? Join an on-campus club OR a meet-up group. This is an excellent way to make friends (and find a few hiking buddies)

Regal movie theatre is the most expensive. If you have a different one in your area your tickets will likely be a few bucks cheaper. (we only have regal where I am and I am angry)

General shopping:

My personal philosophy is if I don't need it immediately, I don't buy it unless it's on sale.

Get a credit card or two with decent cashback rewards. DO NOT SPEND ANY MONEY YOU CANNOT IMMEDIATELY PAY OFF (this will avoid interest charges AND build your credit score, which will be important later on for things like renting an apartment, buying a car from a dealership, or buying a house). Use the card(s) for all your expenses. Cashback will add up pretty slowly, but it will add up. Discover It is pretty good for students and comes with a quarterly rotation of different things that get higher cash back. Apple Card has good cashback ONLY if you're using actual Apple Pay instead of the physical card (which is harder in less urban areas where cardreaders haven't been recently updated).

Make a throwaway email and sign up for stamp cards, loyalty programs, and rewards programs everywhere you shop (new email is so you don't have to be spammed with all the junk they send you but you can still access the coupons when you want them). Don't sign up for the ones with the credit cards unless they have good cashback (> 1-2%) for places that aren't their store. The Fred Meyer program slaps because it gives you gas discounts. I am currently paying less than $3.00/gallon (current cost in my area is ~$4.30/gallon). Fred Meyer is a Kroger brand, so if you don't have Freds but do have a different Kroger thing, see what they've got.

Check thrift/consignment stores and yard/garage/estate sales for things that you don't necessarily need to be in the nicest condition. Suitcases, dishes for that camping trip, a mat for outside your front door. Be really careful with soft furniture (it could be hosting bugs; if it's from a yard sale, ask the owner where it was stored before the sale. Items in the garage or a storage unit or outside should be extra scrutinized) and give everything you can a good wash/scrub down before letting it live in your house.

Estate sales are fantastic for furnishing an apartment. Usually an estate sale is done when (old) people die and the family wants help getting rid of the stuff they don't want for themselves. Currently, old people generally have very well made, solid wood furniture. It will go for much cheaper than it's actually worth if you buy it at an estate sale (rather than at an antique store). A lot of the time the furniture even matches. They'll also have things like vacuums, kitchen stuff, and maybe garage stuff.

TJ Maxx, Ross, and Homegoods (et cetra) are good for finding inexpensive clothes or home items.

Back to school sales are great for just about everything. Lots of big stuff like good furniture and electronics go on sale for things like labor/memorial day.

Don't buy a mattress just because it's the cheapest one. Buy one you actually like. Buy sheets and pillows you actually like. Having a good night's rest in a bed you are comfortable in is invaluable. It will make the rest of college way less bad I promise.

See if you can repair something before buying a new one. At best, you fix it. At worst, it continues to not work. I was gifted a pair of bose noise cancelling headphones that I use often enough that I've had to replace the foam over-ear pads 3 times and the aux cable once. This has cost me about $40 over 7 years instead of the ~$300 getting a new pair would cost. Replacement parts and patch kits are where it's at.

Some insurance companies give discounts for good grades. Take advantage of that.

Check Buy Nothing groups. I've never done this but I've heard good things.

Some car companies give a small discount to recent graduates who are buying a new car. (I did this, it was only $500.)

IF YOU HAVE THE MONEY TO DO SO!!!! Buy something that is going to last over something that is cheap. You will save money in the long run if you can pay the upfront cost.

IF YOU HAVE THE MONEY TO DO SO!!!! (and the space for storage of the larger package) Buy in bulk. Unit price is always cheaper and one large package is generally wrapped in less packaging than the same amount in many smaller packages (save the earth!)

Keep track of warranties and register products for them if necessary. If something breaks and it's still covered under the warranty, the company may be obligated to replace it (depends on how it broke). Shoot your shot! If you're really lucky, the warranty period will start over with the arrival of the replacement, and if the replacement breaks within the warranty period, it will also be eligible for replacement. (I've managed to take advantage of this on multiple occasions and have saved probably $600 this way.)

The Great Outdoors:

Need to buy seasonal equipment (like snow gear or swimsuits)? Wait until the end of the current season. Prices will drop as stores attempt to clear inventory for the upcoming season's stuff. Buy your kayak and bikini in October or November and your heavy winter jacket and ski goggles in March. Keep an eye out for the sales beginning in the weeks prior if you are a common size, as those will sell out first).

I really recommend getting an REI membership. It's a one-time cost ($30??) that opens up the used website, the garage sale, and extra bonuses like random coupons, member only sale prices, discounts on gear rental and classes, a wider window for returns/exchanges, and free US shipping (I live in Alaska and the free shipping makes this one of the best deals I can get). It will pay for itself probably within your first purchase.

Consider buying open box, but make sure all the parts are there.

Keep an eye on warranties and register products for them when necessary. Trust me, given how expensive outdoor stuff is, it's entirely worth it. Keep receipts, packing slips, and tags if you can as proof of purchase.

On campus clubs for your activity of choice. Make friends, get to go cool(er) places possibly for free/cheap.

Trying a new activity? Rent/borrow some gear to do it a few times before committing to purchasing your own. This will ensure you don't spend hundreds of dollars just to find you hate backpacking. REI has a good gear rental program and a plethora of classes, and your campus may have an outdoor equipment rental option. They may also have lessons or classes you can take about your new activity so you can learn to do it safely. I learned how to ice climb this way in March, and am going to take advantage of my current university's free gear rental and free ice climbing tower until I feel comfortable enough to go out into the wild and do it on my own.

Decided you like your new activity? Check these places (none of this is sponsored lmao I just like outside and have personal experience with all these sites):

Geartrade: Discounted new* and used gear in a variety of conditions. Definitely read all the fine print here. *Geartrade sells things sometimes that are brand new but had some packaging defect; these things are usually half off.

REI ReSupply: Used gear in a variety of conditions. Defects are detailed in product descriptions. Even things in excellent condition are usually at least half off the original price.

Sierra(dot)com: brand new stuff from well-known brands at a fraction of the price. It's usually past-season overstock, but it's all perfectly serviceable and the differences between this season and last season's gear is usually negligible. They have sales and clearance as well. Get what you want/need even cheaper if you have time to wait for it to be further discounted.

Costco sometimes has pretty good outdoor gear. I personally know that the bear spray here is NOT a good deal (it's a two-pack, but the can volume/spray-time is smaller than the two-pack at REI and they go for the same price) but their trekking poles are good and I really like their men's merino wool socks. I've heard from reputable sources that the costco snow-shoes suck. Definitely read reviews before committing here.

Facebook marketplace/craigslist: Both can be hit or miss. You'll usually have better luck for equipment that is used for activities that can be done locally (ie. you will probably not find an abundance of skis in desert Arizona) but that's not a hard rule. DEFINITELY read the fine print here, and ask to inspect the item before you hand over any money (people usually aren't weird about this and if they are you might be being scammed). I got a new dog last year and got everything for him for under $100 (two beds, two crates, bowls, harnesses, dog sized sleeping bag for camping, lick mats, the whole shebang)

I'm sure that other people have better advice regarding things like electronics, traveling, and activities that don't fall into the category of Wandering Into The Woods, but this is what I know!

[budgetbeastie]

A Guide to Creating a Personal Budget (2/3)

budgeting to plan and control your personal life

a personal budget is a great way to plan for the future and set goal posts - both long term and short term

think of a financial goal you have, big or small...

some examples:

spending less

getting out of debt

save an emergency fund

buying a car

buying a house

retiring early

a budget can help you with every financial goal you have, let's talk about how!

there's two reasons why budgets are created:

planning & control

when using a budget to plan, we're taking our list of expenses (including minimum payments on debt!) and when they're due to determine the total costs for the period (which could be a week, month, 3 months, or a year). in addition to our expenses, we estimate our income for the period as well, which can be averaged out for the sake of our mental health.

for the sake of this convo, let's use a month as the chosen period.

once we know how much the month will cost us, we can compare it to our earnings from the month. if we use the 50-30-20 method, then our total cost of living would be half of our total net income. however, it's becoming increasingly rare for us to exist using only 50% or less of our total income on living expenses. Being able to accurately predict and plan our spending can help us to better understand our individual financial positions.

say our total monthly income is $3,000 and our total monthly expenses is $2,400

knowing that we're going to have $600 leftover from our income during the month that isn't directly tied to staying physically alive helps with making accurate decisions based on your finances, this cash could be used for whatever you want! sometimes, it's for a little treat, and you give yourself a weekly allowance, other times, it's for approaching your financial goals.

the other half of why budgeting is helpful, is control

some goals are more intense than others, and that intensity varies between individual financial positions. for some, it would be easier to save $5,000 than to get out of debt, and vice versa for others.

we can use budgets to control our path and to set goals. say our goal is to save a 3 month emergency fund (3 months of expenses), how would we do that?

identify the goal

we need 3 months worth of our expenses, which totals out to be $7,200

2. choose a contribution level

we have $600 left over at the end of each month, but don't want to contribute every penny to savings (YOLO or something) $200 a month (about $45 a week) goes to spending, for if something happens like we go out to eat with friends or it's just been a bad day $400 a month ends up going towards our emergency fund

3. set goal posts and milestones

now we can divide our goal by our contribution level: $7,200 / $400 = 18 at this contribution level for this goal, it'll take 18 months to reach the end. milestones look different for every goal, but my favourite method is the snowball method (usually for paying off debt, but works here too), where we clock in wins in early and help build momentum!

the first goal would look like the first deposit, which would be $200 on the 1st of the first month we start using our budget. hitting this milestone will feel good, because you can check on the $200 and feel incredible about how you're saving money and it's there making you even more money with interest! our second goal would be to have our first $400 at the halfway point of the first month. from here, we can stretch the milestones a bit to look something like this:

by using our budget to figure out how much money we spend on being alive, we know how much money is left to commit to our goal.

using the budget to plan for upcoming expenses or increases in income, as well as controlling how much we spend in certain areas of our lives, helps us make better and more informed financial decisions every day.

knowing how much in the checking account can be used to get that notebook while shopping at the grocery store will help with confidence and independence, as well as reducing spending guilt. you are in control when you have something like a budget to refer to, and you can plan to hit goals!

[fuwaprince]

I’m really glad you’re here still. It sucks that things haven’t gotten better for you, I’m sorry about that. Would it be okay if I sent you some money on PayPal? I still have yours I think. I wish I could help more, I’d be happy to help you. I missed you too.

It's always good to hear from you friend 🫂💓 I missed you too but figured it would be best to disappear for a bit. Update: My housemates have been mean. People at school have also been so mean to the point that I've had to let my new dept know that the bullies from my old classes are following me to my new ones and sitting in pretending to attend just to torment me more (insane how these people do all this for free but I know phobias of all kinds run deep). I don't really know what i'm doing besides slowly chugging along. Nothing I do is enough- literally. And when it is- people move the carpet so that I can't catch success. I talk to people who are in better positions (who have a job, parents who loan them $, a car, etc) who still can't see it working out for them either. An apartment for me just feels like an unattainable dream!!! I seriously do think it's about time I get my own place away from people who hate/mistreat me. My health is declining a lot because of the self imprisoning. I refuse to be tormented by people here so I just starve and dehydrate myself every day until people go to sleep. It isn't healthy. None of this is. If I told you there was a little lump on my chest that hurts and hasn't gone away I would just be complaining about something I wouldn't even bother getting checked out. I have given up in so many ways. Just dangling onto life by threads because I don't want to give any hateful asshole the satisfaction of literally tormenting me to death. I'm saving every single penny I possibly can for the next chance I have to leave this place. Who knows when that would ever be. Maybe years. It shouldn't be this hard but it is for me and it's such a nasty cycle to be in. I need to move to be safe but I need a job to move but I need to be safe to keep a job. I'll do anything to get a place of my own at this point. I want safety. I want the freedom to enjoy leisure time. I want the freedom to not be harassed and tormented for choosing to go downstairs to eat. I want to be able to eat without being judged. Get me away from constant shaming. I'm sad. Extremely sad and I've learned how hateful people can be. I can't wrap my head around why anybody would be like this but oh well. It's not my job to understand. Just my job to survive by any means. If you'd like to help by donating still, please do. I haven't gotten myself to where I can keep begging for help. I need to recover. I need a break from day in and day out misery. I feel extremely stuck here. If I had a break, I would cry and fight myself on coming back. I don't want to be here anymore. I know you're glad that I am but I am not glad about it at all... It's still good to hear from you. I hope you've been taking good care of yourself and staying healthy 🫂

[bohemiandreams]

And as you get older, you start living differently. Your life begins to move in a reverse mode. You spend your Saturdays in bed, wrapped in blankets, watching foreign cinema that you have never watched before instead of partying with your friends. You take out the trash every day, you change your sheets every three days. You don't always have to be the first person in line. Traffic doesn't bother you. You put your favourite songs in your car and take the long route home. It feels a little like your own personal concert. You don't need another person to go to the movies with you. You order for one in a cafe and sit beside the glass window watching the roads, people, the way winds blow, and the branches of trees. There is a certain satisfaction in knowing that you have finally learned to live all by yourself.

You miss winter nights, but the ones from seven years ago in your hometown where your father and you lit a bonfire outside your garden and sat for hours talking about stars and planets. You remember your uni friends, and sometimes it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, and sometimes it makes you laugh in the middle of a restaurant where you are on a blind date. When he asks you about it, you say nothing, but you make a mental note of checking up on them online. You realise that you aren't afraid of heartbreaks and rejections anymore. It's all part of life anyway.

You watch a lot of YouTube makeup tutorials at 1 AM on a Friday night when you have nothing else to do. You experiment more with yourself. You wear all the clothes that you weren't so sure about. You put green, lavender, blue eyeshadows and draw pretty siren or rhinestone looks instead of going for something plain. You save up for the trips that you were dreaming to take. You meet your friends over Sunday brunches, you wear more colour than just dressing in boring monochrome. You buy a lot of plants and think about getting a cat. You listen to a lot of artists, and you finally find the one that you can listen to at night. You learn the things that you wanted to learn as a kid—French lessons, keyboard, horse riding, and cooking. You take care of your body and your mental health, and you learn how to say no, even when you hesitate. You invest in funds and think of buying a house, and it doesn't feel like a grown-up thing anymore. It just feels right. Or maybe you invest that money in traveling around the world. You don't overthink or hyperventilate so often because you have accepted that life has always been uncertain and that is the only certain thing about it.

You stop kissing people you didn't like much, or date out of convenience. You think of being with someone kind and nice instead of romanticising red flags. You choose your mental peace over chaos. You do not worry about your social media followers; you like the silence of a Sunday morning. You take trips on your own; you pack your picnic baskets and read books the same way you did when you were little. You leave parties early, but come home and dance to some techno song while you make pasta and sit on your balcony. You love your body more, and you accept people for who they are. You learn to cut off friends who gossip behind your back; you learn to prioritise yourself over others. There's no more waiting for the apology letters from your parents, and you're finally fine with it. You learn that you can miss people, but if they don't make a conscious effort to get you back in their life, they won't earn a place in yours.

And when you feel lonely, you don't run away from yourself and your feelings. You understand that only when you have acceptance, you will let people love you in the way they can, and you will love them, too, in the way you can. You know that there are things you cannot control, so you let them be and live anyway. You take more pictures of the skies and mountains, your friends, and yourself. When you find something extremely beautiful, you absorb it with your eyes first because you know that some things are better kept in your memories than your phone gallery. When your friends ask you about your love life, you aren't so bothered because you had made a lot of mistakes when you were young, and you had hurt yourself and ruined your heart for the ones who didn't deserve you. You smile and say that you are okay, and you really, really mean it because all your life you have sought validations from others, but this is the first time in a long time when you have begun to see yourself as someone important, too. And all the love that you were searching for elsewhere, you finally start to look for it within.

- Rae Pathak, friday reminders.

illustration by Haylee Morice