#AND THEN I REMEMBERED THE EYE TRACKED BIT SO I DID THE MEME FOR THE FUNNIES AHAHBSHHD

[krisisonkrisis]

i tried making a thumbnail for wilson and vanta's bunny garden collab LMAO

[lurochar]

A Snow Day in Hell

Heeey, anyone else remember that ‘special feeling’ meme from years ago? No? Me either

–----------------------------------------------

Hell had frozen over.

Literally.

It was an extraordinarily and incredibly rare occurrence, according to Charlie, who, a literal native demon born of Hell, had only seen it snow once before in her lifetime.

It generally occurred once every few hundred years, perhaps add or minus a century here or there, Lucifer could not be bothered to keep track when Charlie had asked him how often it actually happened since the snow only stuck around for a day at the very most and was just a minor inconvenience.

You were honestly excited to witness such a unique experience and were dismayed to find that Alastor could care less about such a thing.

And so, you had to pester him and even promised him a favour (his proceeding and chilling smile sent immediate shivers down your spine) just to take a stroll with you around town (and would probably regret when he came to collect that favour).

“Of course, Darling! I have no important tasks to complete today. Why, I would be ever so honoured to escort you to town on such a… lovely day.”

You gave Alastor a skeptical look when he glanced outside with an expression that screamed the opposite of what he was saying.

He clearly hated snow.

“But, seeing my partner beg me in such a pitiful manner – well, how can I possibly say no to that?”

Maybe you should have just asked Charlie? She seemed just as excited as you to see the snowfall.

It took quite a bit of self control for Alastor to not let out a dark chuckle at your varying expressions. You may be his companion, but he was still a sadist through and through. 

Maybe it was a bit soft when it came to you though. Just a little bit.

Besides, as irritating and cold as it was, a little snow, that would literally only last for a day, would never hurt anyone, right?

~00~

“It’ll be on any minute now!”

You covered your face with a pillow in pure embarrassment, unable to look at the screen of the TV as Charlie bounced in excitement. 

How did she find out? 

Ah damn, she already gathered the others to watch.

“W-why are you here?” You barely lifted your face enough to eye Alastor, seeing him sitting smugly in his usual chair. “It was you, wasn’t it?! You told Charlie, didn’t you!?”

“Well, of course I did!” Alastor’s grin was utterly demonic and he was obviously taking pleasure in your mortification. “Normally, I am completely against these awful picture box shows and was utterly baffled when you agreed to a… television interview, Darling, with me when you are completely aware of my distaste.”

“Uh, wait,” Angel Dust raised his arm, “you’re on TV, Smiles? How did they capture you on camera? How’d you not, ya know, blow up the whole network with that whole staticky thing you do? Why is Vox even letting this air?”

Everyone glanced over to Alastor, but he answered nothing.

You had no idea either.

“Oh, it’s on!” Charlie pointed with a wide grin and you slumped over, ready to just pack your bags and leave to save yourself the embarrassment.

On the TV, the scene was that of you and a tall figure that was distorted, blurry, and pixelated, yet was clearly Alastor from shape and colour alone. Honestly, you were surprised he was showing up even this much and not blowing out the camera like Angel Dust had pointed out.

It was a simple question, you were only stopped by the news reporter to ask what you thought of the unprecedented snowfall.

You had just been caught up in the moment, the idea of experiencing the whole once-in-a-lifetime thing with your partner.

So you had replied with something straight out of a Christmas romcom movie or something equally as cheesy. You really had no idea where it came from. Maybe the fact that Alastor had summoned an umbrella and was holding it over both of your heads?

It was mainly so he wouldn’t get snow in his ears, you would find out later.

“Isn’t this just amazing? Snow that falls only every few hundred years? It’s stunning, isn’t it?” Your face was beginning to turn red as you continued on without waiting for another question from the reporter. “Being in the snow with my lover like this immerses me in a special feeling. I love it.”

Oh fuck.

How the fuck could you say that with a straight face!?

It was clear that Alastor felt the shame for you, even through his blurry distorted figure, you could see his ears flatten against his head and his head completely turn away from the reporter like he wasn’t there to hear your cringey words.

“Oh my Satan, are you fucking serious?” The news reporter sneered at you. “I just asked you about some fucking frozen water. Not your version of a romantic date you’ll have in your shitty wet dreams.”

You blinked and the distorted Alastor slowly turned his head back towards the reporter.

“This is fucking Hell, not some Barbieland bulls–”

You couldn’t help it and a few of your more demonic features were showing before you could stop them and you grabbed the umbrella Alastor was still holding. “You asked me a question about snow and I answered and then you make fun of me for that!? So what if I want a romantic outing with my lover!?” You shoved the umbrella’s pole into the gut of the reporter and growl into the camera, hearing the cameraman cry out before it cuts out and the interview is over.

.

.

.

There was complete silence.

“W-well, maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was.” You scratch your cheek, “J-just forget what I sa–”

“Oh, that was so romantic!” Charlie’s eyes were wide and sparkly, “I never knew snow could make you feel that way.” She gasped loudly, looking at Vaggie. “There’s still time! Come on, Vaggie! We need to go out in the snow to ‘immerse ourselves’ in that special feeling!”

Vaggie just throws you a grumpy look before sighing and following after Charlie.

Angel Dust is laughing his ass off, “Special feeling? Seriously, Dollface? Did that cold freeze your brain cells or somethin’? Well, at least ya showed that dick reporter who’s boss. Smiles, over there, did nothin’.”

“I don’t need him to do everything for me.” You muttered, glancing over at Husk and, for once, glad to see he’s too drunk to care and Niffty had lost interest as soon as she saw a cockroach. 

You looked over to Alastor.

“Are you satisfied?” You asked with a sigh, “Watching me embarrass myself and then lose control on the news that’s aired all around Hell?”

Alastor’s grin widened. “Very much so, Darling. Not only have you provided me with great entertainment, but now you have also given me an excuse to go after the one who aired your follies. I do believe I should give my ‘old pal’ a visit quite soon.”

Yeah.

You really should have just asked Charlie earlier.

[imnotsimpingyouare]

UPPERMOONS' ROLE IN THE BEDROOM

NSFW Headcannons - Minors DNI

For Muzan, Kokushibo, Douma, Akaza, Hantengu Clones

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

I think it's so funny putting writing like this underneath some stupid meme or some shit. Like I can't even. Why is it so funny to me.

Also sorry but something about Gyokko is fishy to me so I'm replacing his little hand-having Muichiro-torturing ass with Kaigaku in the next bit.

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Muzan

This man is the demon king. I hope you're not expecting him to be nice with you, cuz you're wrong.

He's a dom.

And a bit of a sadist.

But how can you hate him for it? Especially when he looks like that.

I know this man LOVESS to have you under him for hours at a time. Like bro will not leave you alone until you physically cannot go anymore. At least he has the decency to listen to you when you safeword out.

He's evil, but not like... evil. Yk?

He especially loves to punish you when you do wrong. And getting a rise out of him is fairly easy, so one wrong step and you'll be over his lap until you can't even remember what you did to set him off.

Kokushibo

Kokushibo is a dom, but I can see him getting off to you trying your best to take control. He adores that you try so hard to prove your worth, but I think both of you know it's not gonna happen.

He loves to listen. Sometimes he becomes eerily quiet, lost in the sounds you're making while he's absolutely annihilating your poor cunt.

He's a huge fan of receiving also. Not that he won't eat you out whenever you ask, but I feel it would be..... uncomfortable for his lower pair of eyes?

LMFAO

Are they closed? Are they open? Can he even close them separately?

I'm sorry for bullying you Koku.

He can't get enough of seeing your head between his thighs, trying your best to take him all with that tiny human mouth of yours.

He's mean with punishments though. He's not easy to irritate like Muzan, but if you tease him too much you'll find yourself edged for hours, with only a 50/50 chance of getting to cum (depending on if you beg right). Moreover, he mainly thinks it's sad how his lovely little human has done something to upset him when your track record was so good.

Douma

Absolute sadist. Look at this devious fuck. He'll do anything to make you beg, anything to hear your beautiful voice beg him for more.

Oh he started soooo vanilla. Sweet nothings like "Are you okay, flower?" "I'm not hurting you, am I love?"

But one day he dug his claws in a little too hard, and your whine at that burning sensation..

🔒🔑 sadist UNLOCKED

From that moment on he made it a point to leave as many marks on you as possible. Bites, hickeys, scratches, anything that proved to everyone else that you are HIS. And ONLY HIS.

He'll even present you to his followers that way, proudly demonstrating that you've been "chosen by him to aid his spiritual work."

He reeeeeaaaaally needs to do a better job at knowing when to stop. Demons have unlimited stamina, and you feel so good around him, he'll only stop when he's noticed your moans have ceased, and you're passed out under him. WHY DID YOU EVEN CREATE A SAFEWORD.

It just feels so good, you know? You have to REALLY get his attention when you want him to stop, or so help me god he will get lost in it.

It's because of this that he is one of the best at aftercare. He'll clean you up, cuddle with you, do anything he can to appeal to his pitiful, fucked-out human.

Akaza

Look at him. You know him.

The most vanilla MF ever.

He's so gentle and sweet with you, taking his time on every little thing.

He prefers to have control over the pacing, and that's why he fits into the dom role. He doesn't like to go too fast, or graze over the most intimate parts of the act.

This man will die to give. Don't get me wrong, he'll take some good head any day of the week, but it can't compare to seeing your expression from between your legs when his tounge laps at your overstimulated clit.

He'd never tell you, he's your brave Akaza, but he's SO scared of hurting you in ANY way. He's always checking up on you, making sure his grip isn't too tight, he's not going too fast, you're properly prepared... ect.

He's the aftercare KING 👑

No one can match up to this man. He has cooked you FIVE STAR MEALS at the mere words "kinda want a snack"

He'll hold you in his arms and will NOT LET GO. FOR ANY REASON.

He's just so happy to be connected with his sweet little human. Can you blame him for that?

Sekido

Roughest dom to exist. He wants nothing more than to absolutely destroy you, what better way to release his anger? Not that he'll ever truly be not angry, anyway. But you help.

I feel like he's one for routine. He doesn't want to change things up, because why would he change something that's already so good.

Does not know how to be gentle with you. He BITES YOU. When he wants to KISS YOU.

Beware of the fucking dog. Man needs his own damn sign.

It all starts when you wear a skirt that's a LITTLE too short. You don't even notice. But he does. He notices.

One minute, you're making dinner, and the next moment, you're bent over the kitchen counter, taking it while he marks up your neck and shoulders.

From then on, he's unafraid to take you anywhere. In the forest. In a STRANGER'S(victim's) HOUSE. HE DOESN'T CARE.

As free-use as he is, he refuses to allow any one else to see you coming undone for him. He'll only take you if he knows there's a 0% chance of being walked in on. Not only will it turn him off, it'll make him so incredibly angry he'll rip off somebody's head.

#hopeitsnotyou

#wontevengettofinish

#dontwalkinhereurogi

Aizetsu

Boy is a switch. 100%

He just wants to be in you, he doesn't care who's doing the dominating.

He's loud.

Like, bb tries so hard not to make any noise, but how can he not, when you're bouncing on his cock like that?

Whines and whimpers all the way. I literally have not seen anyone deny this. It's a fact.

He can't handle when you talk dirty to him. It's like a spell. ESPECIALLY words of encouragement. He just wants to feel validated by you, poor guy. He's literally depression if depression was hot and if you wanted depression to fuck you over in another way than figuratively.

He loves to give you head as much as he loves receiving it. He wants to see you melt to his touch, he wants to know that he's the only one who can make you feel this way.

Aizetsu lives in fear of you yearning for one of the other clones instead. That's why his mission is to be as nice to you as possible. Not... *slow* nice, just *gentle* nice. He'll cuddle with you, he'll kiss you, he'll keep his cock in you for as long as he wants. Only when you're absolutely spent he'll be done with you.

Karaku

Man is the pleasure clone.

He knows EXACTLY how to get you off. It only takes one time for him to learn the ins and outs of your body.

He just wants you to feel as good as you can. He'll keep your legs pinned for hours, not caring when you tug his hair or beg him to stop. If you're not safewording, you can take more. That's his motto.

He'll cum where he wants, he'll fuck where he wants, in any position he wants, he's selflessly selfish, if you get the juxtaposition.

He loves to switch it up every now and then. If he has an idea you'll partake in, you're doing it. As long as it's with you, he's open to whatever.

Karaku is the king of teasing you. He's not going to let you cum until you're BEGGING. Like capital B Begging.

His favorite thing is to see you riding him. It makes him feel so good inside when he sees your legs shake. His poor little human can't even handle riding him. How sad is that? But he's not opposed to helping you.

Urogi

Bro goes absolutely wild. Like.. he cannot get enough of you after the first time.

So incredibly loud. Grunts, moans, yells, man has no shame and no fucks to give because his only fuck has already been spent on you.

He's sensitive on his back because no one ever puts their warm little human hands back there. No one can reach because of his massive fucking wings. So when you massage him, preen his wings, anything that involves your gentle touch on his back, AUTOMATIC HORNY.

He doesn't even know how to articulate when he's horny. The only thing he can think about is fucking. Literally you'll just be cuddling and he'll start undressing you, no warning.

#whatthefuck

He's really bad at pacing. Like.. he has no routine, no rhythm, no idea when he's gonna cum or how he's gonna get to that point. You've really gotta help him out on that.

I feel like Urogi would have a hard time prepping you because of his massive, razor sharp fucking talons. Like he went to do it after you told him "dude I can't just take your whole dick out of the blue" and realized for the first time that having talons may be inconvenient when trying to be intimate.

No worries though, he gets equally horny watching you stuff yourself with your own fingers, wanting to put his hands all over you, but knowing the real fun will come soon.

[cult-of-the-eye]

Mag 81 A Guest for Mr Spider

FUCK FORMER HEAD ARCHIVIST

Wait I need to check the timelines - this was 2 days after leitner's death

New spooky music???

My man is so fucking dramatic I love him so much "grand of sand behind my eye" love the way he speaks

Yeah FUCK JURGEN LEITNER

Omg the greying hair is canon??

Child in the 90s makes him at most 27 GOD DAMN. I was imagining like mid 30s...can you imagine a fucking 27 yr old using words like "ilk" when talking to you

Oh shit he's an orphan poor guy

Yeah ok a lot of his personality seems to make sense if you realise he was raised by his grandma

You know those memes that are like people raised by their grandparents are exceptionally polite but in a brisk way, talk fancy and are super posh? Yeah that's him.

Getting such neurodivergent vibes

Yeah he sounds like a main character from the start Jesus Christ he's such a kid who got traumatised and then grows up to be a horror protagonist vibes

My First Leitner lol like kids had to be introduced to them at a young age like those my first toys

He's so funny I can just imagine him as an 8 yr old getting super like affronted at this like how dare my grandma think I am of subpar intelligence he's such a little bitch from the start

"The eponymous Mr spider" even talking about his childhood trauma he's busting out the vocabulary

Fuck that story actually kinda rattled me I had my hand over my mouth in shock for most of it

I think it was the bit where the horsefly brought his son and they were both crying that got me, I could definitely imagine it scaring an 8 yr old

The way it drags out as well, with the pages of the same scene it really heightens the suspense

Is his childhood bully someone we should keep track of?? Love how he says Michael probably cause he sees him as a bully lol

It's interesting how despite him bullying him (quite badly seeing as though he beat him up) he's still like yeah but he saved my life and that means he deserves to be remembered

My bro didn't save your life on purpose, he was just trying to make it worse and happened to come to a terrible fate cause of that

I guess underneath it all he was still a kid who watched someone die, knowing they'd get eaten by a fucking spider, he still held him in some regard

The way he specified the guy was his bully even after he was being eaten though lol

He was desperate to get the book back? That's a leitner thing I guess, the book makes you want to keep it so it can finish whatever it wanted to do to you

On my relisten (which I will do once I've finished the series I'm sure of it), I'll have to look out for any reaction of leitners name

I wonder why Jon didn't react more to Carlos vittery's statement, like it must've terrified him? I saw a post a while back explaining Jon's thoughts and IT WAS GENIUS it was like of course he doesn't react, he must be terrified that someone knew about his experience and somehow did this to mess with him or it was a joke and he can't let anyone know that the Head Archivist is not Good at This ugh it's so good I'll tag it if I can find it

AHHHHH HE REGRETS DISMISSING THE OTHER STATEMENTS AHHHHHH

HE FINALLY ADMITS THAT HE NEEDS HELP WE LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YES YOU FUCKING DO BITCH.

yeah at least he's right about Elias killing leitner

GEORGIE THE EX GIRLFIEND

ITS SO WEIRD TO SEE HIM ACTUALLY NICE TO SOMEONE WOW HIS VOICE CHANGES SLIGHTLY AS WELL HES LESS ACADEMIC

THE ADMIRAL

Awwww he's so cute with georgie

GHOST PODCAST GHOST PODCAST

THE WHAT THE GHOST T SHIRT IS CANON???? AHH THATS SO CUTE

Can he not go back to his own flat?? Did he bring all his clothes to the archive and then subsequently leave them there? Does he even have a flat??

God Georgie is so nice I would kill for her

It's so funny that an apparent supernatural cynic dated a ghost podcaster

WOW SEASON 3 OFF TO AN AMAZING START I CANT WAIT TO KEEP LISTENING IM GONNA TELL MY THERAPIST ABOUT THIS TOMORROW!!!

[canmom]

thinking about Deus Ex Human Revolution because I stumbled over its soundtrack in my game OST folder.

it got good reviews in its day but with hindsight it's not really remembered as a great game to endure the way the first one did. there is stuff to praise - art direction for example - but equally, you can criticise plenty: the clumsy handling of the 'augments' theme, the shallow orientalism of the China chapters, the watering down of the immersive sim elements. the clumsy outsourced boss fights and the rubbish ending.

if it's remembered today it's mainly for the "i never asked for this" meme, and the 'Icarus' trailer.

watching it again in 2024, the soundtrack is doing a lot of the work of carrying this. most of the dialogue in this trailer is really corny cyberpunk-isms, and a lot of its visuals are blatant riffs on Ghost in the Shell, Appleseed and Blade Runner (though I'll credit that it has a great sense of mechanical design in its robots and stuff). but the opening visual motif - the Renaissance dissection tableau transitioning into the flight of Icarus - is just the right level of pretentious for a game like this. that, combined with the wordless vocals rising and falling around the synth line, does so much work to sell the idea of 'this is grand and important'.

cyberpunk has a pretty specific sound associated with it - the electronic sounds are obvious, but in some of the best remembered cases it relies on contrasting the human voice and old school percussion against those synths, typically in some unusual vocal style that is likely to be unfamiliar to viewers - most notably Indonesian gamelan in the Akira soundtrack, and Bulgarian choir in Oshii's Ghost in the Shell. the other major genre touchpoint, Blade Runner, does not generally use vocals in the same way, but still plays the synth off against percussion sounds. in the simplest terms, it's a contrast of 'natural' and 'unnatural' right? what humans were and what we're becoming.

here we're not importing quite such an unfamiliar sound, but we have a lot of long, held notes by a solo singer (either Ariel Engle or Andrea Revel going off Soundcloud, but I'm having a hard time figuring out the specific credit). it's not unrelated to what Emi Evans was doing with the 'chaos language' in NieR, and indeed to the sound that J'Nique Nicole would bring in the sequel there. I really like wordless vocals, the human voice is such a versatile instrument and brings so much texture.

against that the synth here is actually keeping things really simple. it's mostly just repeating phrases, often simply arpeggios. I haven't really learned enough to keep track of the chord movements here, I'm sure someone more well-versed in music theory could easily take them apart because I doubt it's doing anything overly complex. but it's in a minor key, it's gradually rising for the first half of the track, dropping a bit every so often so it can keep climbing for the most part... and then the final third introduces a second synth line with a slower descending motif - goddamn it's literally just the Icarus metaphor again isn't it, rising and then falling? but it's not too obvious with it, like it doesn't climb all the way back down.

against that the trailer plays a montage of General Cyberpunk Stuff, notably Adam killing people in sicknasty ways, robot limbs doing robot limb stuff, newscasters with interesting fashion sense, and protesters getting gunned down by cops. the weakest parts are the ones that refer to the game's plot and aren't just pure vibes tbh.

that trailer wrote a lot of cheques that the game couldn't really pay, but it is interesting to look back at it with a more analytic eye. it makes me wonder how to really get that human voice texture in music I make. I mean the obvious answer is 'learn to sing', and I'm working on that and making progress, but my voice is pretty testosteron'd and inevitably that limits my range. vocaloids are great but mostly for a different kind of sound. ah well, I'll figure it out. the erhu at least has a sound that's pretty close to the human voice, so maybe that can be the ingredient I need to get that Atmosphere(TM).

[stressedanime]

read on ao3

Will was sitting on the couch mindlessly flicking through Netflix. He was sitting completely upright, his body full of tension that he had nowhere to put. Nico was late coming home and Will couldn’t help the cascade of worst case scenarios that were currently parading through his mind.

As always, he remembered too late that he and Nico shared each other’s locations, so Will could literally track his location live through his phone. His arms darted around on the couch for his phone, probably more frantically than was necessary.  

Before he could even find his phone he heard the scrape of keys against the lock, and then the sound of the front door opening, announcing Nico’s arrival back home. Will didn’t waste a second before he jumped off the couch and headed to greet his partner.

Nico was standing near the entrance of the house when Will reached him, but before he could embrace him like he always did, Will stopped.

Nico had an expression on his face that was unfamiliar, and frankly jarring to see. He wore a sheepish smile, but his dark eyes were sparkling with… hope? He was also standing slightly hunched with his hands behind his back, obviously hiding something, which was even more concerning.

They stared at each other for a beat, and before Will could question what he was hiding, Nico spoke.

“Will, darling. You love me right?” 

Will blinked at him. “Yes… of course I love you,” he said hesitantly. Nico nodded, and it looked like he gained a little bit of confidence as he stood up straighter.

“You love me and you would do anything for me?” Nico questioned again, and at this point Will’s mind was racing through a million different possibilities. 

Will hesitated, his eyes darting to Nico’s arms that disappeared behind him. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“What do you have ?” Will shot back, taking a step towards him. Nico held his gaze for another second, before sighing and carefully bringing his hands out from behind him. It looked like he was holding a bunched up t-shirt.

Will frowned, not sure what was so remarkable about an old t-shirt that Nico had to confirm Will’s devotion to him. Then he saw movement. Will’s eyes widened, and he closed the distance between them, and lightly touched the edge of the shirt.

Swaddled gently inside was a baby opossum. Its little black eyes stared up at Will, its pink nose wiggling slightly as it sniffed the air. 

Will glanced up at Nico and almost had to look away instantly. Nico was giving him the biggest puppy dog eyes he had ever seen grace Nico’s face. Even the time that he came across a listing for an extremely rare first edition Mythomagic set didn’t come close to the eyes he was currently giving Will. 

As Will stared at his adorable expression, he already knew what Nico was going to ask, and Will wasn’t sure if he could say no.

“Can we keep ‘er?” Nico asked on cue, pouring every ounce of sweetness he could into his voice. Nico blinked and somehow made his eyes even bigger. Will thought that this was vaguely reminiscent of a scene in the animated Puss in Boots they had recently watched together. 

Nico’s favourite animal was opossums. Will and Nico’s Instagram and Twitter DM’s were more or less filled with possum memes, or just pictures of possums with Nico lamenting over how cute they were. He had always joked to Will that if he was to ever own a pet it would be a possum, so Will had to admit it wasn’t really surprising that Nico took the opportunity to bring one home. 

Already feeling his resolution crack he sighed, knowing one of them had to be the voice of reason. “Nico. It’s a baby. Did you steal it from its mother?”

“No!” Nico exclaimed in a half whisper. Will raised his eyebrows. “No, I would never. It’s mom-” Nico cut off and hesitated, looking down at the creature in his hands. He shifted so he was cradling it protectively against his chest instead of holding it out to Will. To Will’s surprise, when Nico met his eyes again, Nico’s face was pinched into an expression that Will recognized as Nico trying to hold back tears.

“Her mom was on the side of the road. She was the only one that was still alive,” Nico said quietly, the last words of his sentence barely a whisper. Nico’s eyes filled with tears, and in tandem Will’s heart filled with sympathy and he reached out to pull Nico into a hug, being careful of the possum in his arms. He gently rubbed Nico’s back, and whispered comforting words. After a little bit, he kissed the top of Nico’s head and pulled back, decidedly not mentioning the newly damp spot on the collar of his shirt. 

“Okay, let's go sit down. We definitely can’t keep it forever, but we have it now. Let's go figure out what we can do.” Nico nodded, and gave Will a peck as he walked by him, whispering a small thank you .

Nico headed to the living room, and placed the baby possum on the coffee table. He kneeled in front of it, crossing his arms on the table and then resting his head on his arms. Nico fixed the possum with a look of pure adoration as it crawled out of the t-shirt, then headed towards where Nico was sitting. 

Will stood for a moment, just studying Nico. It was rare that Nico looked so absolutely soft with his chronic case of resting bitch face. Will got to see the soft side of him more than anyone else, but seeing Nico being so tender with such a tiny little creature caused Will’s insides to melt into a gooey mess. 

Will sat on the couch behind Nico, and Nico leaned back using Will’s leg as back support. Will threaded his fingers into Nico’s dark wavy hair, scratching lightly as his scalp. Nico let out a puff of air and relaxed into the feeling.

“First things first,” Will started as Nico reached out to lightly pet the possum between its ears. “What did you name it?”

“Heather,” Nico answered, faster than Will expected.

“Heather?” Will repeated back to him, and Nico nodded. “Why Heather?” 

Nico wasn’t facing Will, but Will could tell he was blushing by the shade of pink that his ears turned. He mumbled something Will couldn’t hear, so Will leaned forward, prompting him to repeat himself.

“I named her after the possum from Over the Hedge. She was voiced by Avril Lavigne.”

Will let out a small laugh, not out of judgement but out of affection. “That’s cute babe, Heather sounds perfect.” At that Nico tilted his head back into Will’s lap and smiled at him. Will leaned down, the position was a bit awkward but he still managed to give Nico a chaste kiss. 

Will sat up again and Nico turned his attention back to the coffee table. At this point Heather had crawled into Nico’s hand and curled up, closing her eyes. Nico cooed at her, shifting on his legs but being careful not to move his arm at all.

“Are you able to Google what we should do? I know we probably can’t keep her, but I want to make sure we do everything right.”

Will hummed in affirmation and started looking for his phone again. He finally found it on the side table beside his end of the couch. He googled ‘how to take care of a baby possum’ and started reading out the advice.

“Number one thing is to keep her warm, and have her in a dark place. It says to put some rags in a box for her to go in with some sort of heating. I think we have a shoe box somewhere that we can use, and we have that heating pad, so I’ll grab that in a bit.” Nico nodded, and gently placed Heather back into the t-shirt. 

“What about food?” Nico asked quietly. 

“It actually says not to feed her. We could feed her the wrong thing or she could eat something wrong and get it into her lungs. Most of these sources say just keep her warm and safe until we can contact a wildlife rehabilitator.” 

Nico sighed, his shoulders slumping. “That makes sense.” He leaned his head down onto the table. “I don’t want to give you away to some stranger though,” Nico cooed at Heather, using his finger to scratch her head again.

They sat in comfortable silence for a couple moments, before Nico perked up. 

“Wait. What am I saying. Frank’s literally a wildlife rehabilitator! He works at the zoo as a vet! ” 

Will’s eyes widened. “Oh my god you’re right.”

Nico carefully picked up Heather again, and turned around to look at Will. “Do you think they’ll keep her, and let us visit?” he asked, tentative hope written across his face. Will leaned down and kissed the tip of his nose.

“I’m sure you can convince Frank. I think he’s still scared of you.” 

Nico laughed at that, and then shook his head. “I really don’t get why. I was joking when I gave him the shovel talk when he and Hazel started dating.”

“Babe, you can be scary when you’re happy ,” Will said leaning in and looking Nico directly in the eyes. Nico scrunched his nose in disagreement, so Will continued. “Not to me though. There’s no way I can think of you as scary when you bring baby animals home and name them after cartoon characters.” Nico rolled his eyes in annoyance, but the smile on his face betrayed him.

Will lightly gripped Nico’s chin and pulled him close. He caught Nico in a deeper kiss than the others he had given him since he got home, and Will did his best to pour his absolute adoration for Nico into it.

After a couple of moments though he pulled away. He slapped his thighs before standing up. “C’mon, let’s go set up a box for Heather. We can call Frank in the morning.” Nico nodded and stood up next to him slowly so as to not jostle Heather. Before Will could walk away Nico leaned in and gave Will another short kiss.

“Thank you,” Nico whispered against Will’s lips. Will just smiled, and returned the kiss.

[sharpsuite]

BONUS PROMPT FOR @cartelheir bc i love vivi and wish to spoil:

↳ NONVERBAL MEMES ↳ [ nap ] for your muse to fall asleep against mine

   Chishiya stares with BARELY concealed surprise as he feels Pat slump against him, burying her head against his shoulder. This doesn’t happen to Chishiya. People don’t so much as reach out to touch his shoulder or arm to pass by, let alone fall asleep against him. It’s like they can all see the void that he is, that there’s something wrong. He swallows down the bitter sensation that threatens to crawl out of his chest like ROT easing through cracks in the wall and focuses on the warmth and weight at his side. Pat is here and she’s fast asleep against him.

   He doesn’t know what to do about that really. Does he stay? Does he try to move her to a more comfortable position? Wake her? He tosses the lattermost option out before the thought is even done. She’d looked exhausted even before she fell asleep, like what rest she had been getting had been stressful. He cranes his head a little bit to study her face. She looks PEACEFUL like this. Probably one of if not the most peaceful he’s seen her since – ever really. Certainly since they'd returned from the borderlands and since her husband was dead and seeking refuge with him. It’s strange to come to terms with the thought someone can look at him and feel safe enough to sleep. It’s also strange to come to terms with the thought he’d once asked her to not leave him as he bled out. Strange, but not bad.

    Uncertainty ensures that each movement he makes is slow so as not to disturb her. He doesn’t have any reference for this situation. He’s never cuddled with someone, never fell asleep against his mom or had any friends. But he doesn’t want her uncomfortable now or later. He takes a very GRADUAL approach to shifting her off the sharp edge of his shoulder and towards the edge of his chest in front of the scapula, brown eyes focused as he makes sure not to wake her. She doesn’t wake, and he hesitates with a now semi-free arm. What does he do now? It makes him feel stupid, because no normal person would struggle with this. But HE does. Is he doing this right? Wrong? There’s no guide to tell him, no mathematical equation that offers a simple solution in the form of quantitative data. 

  He reaches down and gently pulls the blanket up further to keep her warm, head tilted to the side to keep track of her breathing and making sure he hasn’t woken her. It’s a TEMPORARY relief from the dilemma of what to do. It’s over too fast and leaves Chishiya right back where he started. Ever so slowly he lowers his hand, as if he’s afraid to get BURNED, until he’s gently resting an arm around her. The burning isn't quite imaginary though. It takes him a moment to realize that it's his lungs burning ; he has been holding his breath the whole time since he lowered his hand. It’s RIDICULOUS and he can’t help rolling his eyes at himself over how absurd he’d behaving. ( Except it's not that absurd, because this isn’t natural for him and it takes time to learn. ) She seems more comfortable like this at least so he takes that as a sign he did something right.

   His free hand reaches for the remote and he turns off the television, plunging the living room into a comfortable darkness. It feels a bit better, where his struggles aren’t as OBVIOUS. He’s always hated failing, not being good enough at something. It’s never been something like this though ; only a skill he hadn’t yet learned or a branch of knowledge he’d never pursued. Not basic interactive skills. His mouth twitches slightly at the thought and he focuses instead on the steady breathing and peaceful quiet.

   Maybe he should sleep too, but sleep didn’t feel anywhere near close to happening. His free hand lingers by his side before Chishiya lifts it to gently comb through her hair, chin hesitantly resting against the crown of her head. It’s REPLICATION – remembering what she’d done and mimicking it to the best he can. Tentative touch turns a bit more confident with time, more stable than the flighty feather-light nature of it before. It’s nice. It’s terrifying. He's not sure what he's going to do when she wakes up.

   He turns his head to the side so his cheek rests against her head and watches the gradual change of night to morning through the blinds. 

[lightofraye]

An Open Letter

Hello Danneel,

I suppose it had to happen, right? A “letter” to you. After all, I’ve written two to your husband. I had been pondering this for some time. I imagine your “stans” believe that I dislike you because you’re in a position that I wish to be in—the woman married to Jensen Ackles.

Perhaps.

Perhaps not.

See… when my life became chaotic and I lost track of a number of my favorite celebrities’ work and career, I became unaware that Jensen moved onto different shows, eventually settling in Supernatural for fifteen years.

By the time my life arranged itself in a way that I could begin to track down information—some easy to find, some next to impossible—I learned of the tail end of Supernatural. However, my provider was being ornery and refused to carry CW. So I just let it go.

My family, my life, was my primary focus for a time. Then I found a good internet provider, dropped my satellite provider, and began adding streamers. That’s when I came across The Boys. Then Big Sky. Then Supernatural on Netflix.

I became a new-old fan. I remembered Jensen on Days of Our Lives, after all. I remembered talking about him with one of my best friends. I remember talking about his unusual name—Jensen. And I remember talking about his acting.

Then I saw you. Longtime married, three kids. All the news articles kept raving about how great you two were. I saw the older videos of you two together, that livestream with Misha in the Impala….

I felt the sting, just a bit, of what I assumed was jealousy. I sighed, set it aside. I would follow Jensen’s work, I told myself. Jared’s too. Others that I admired. Just added to the list.

Something kept bothering me. I kept going back to it. I couldn’t quite pinpoint the problem. Mere jealousy couldn’t be it. I’ve had that sting before, grew past it. (Henry Cavill, anyone?) So why couldn’t I get past this?

It was pure happenstance, me coming to Tumblr. I was feeling very dissatisfied with Facebook, didn’t like Twitter. Reddit was not my thing. There were other, smaller, options, but damn if I didn’t keep coming back to Tumblr, largely because of the hilarious memes I’d see snipped and shared.

Why not? I told myself.

Let’s see how it goes. Signed up, picked a few areas of interest and I was off.

Boy, was I off.

Discovering the subsections of the fandom left me reeling. Destiel? Where the hell did they come up with that? Wincest? Yikes. And then—

Tinhat?!

COCKLES?!

Needless to say, it was… phew. I found a few I liked and focused on them. Then someone mentioned YOU. I rolled my eyes; you hadn’t been active in acting other than a few teeny-tiny but parts. What could they possibly say about YOU?

Then I read the post. And another. And another. I would spent a good few weeks carefully devouring everything I read. There’s so much, I may never cover it all. But I saw enough.

I would fact-check as best I could. Some were completely lost. The Wayback Machine could only do so much. Not everyone saved the sources. 

But I saw enough.

Then I sat back and it CLICKED. It wasn’t jealousy that waved hello to me. It was the personality traits, the behavior, the way you spoke to him, that all matched what I knew and learned in my several decades of life.

You are insecure.

You lack confidence.

You lack any outside interests.

You are unsupportive.

You care for nothing and no one outside of money. Oh, you have your children—you just don’t care about them. You have your husband—all you see are dollar signs.

There is no love. There is nothing genuinely GOOD in how you view Jensen. You don’t want him home; you push him out. All you want is the constant stream of income.

I see what you’ve done. All the acting in the world wouldn’t change the rest—you’ve an empty heart, a black soul.

Let him go, Danneel.

That’s my best advice to you. Let him go. Get some therapy and grow as a person.

Maybe then you could actually like the person you see the mirror.

In discordant tunes, Raye

[systemadministratorclu]

Doom would about have a heart attack if she still had a heart, but seeing as she doesn't any longer she settles for rushing back and forth in a panic instead. Her brightly glowing yellow eyes go by in a blur as she tries to figure out what's wrong, why her skinny nerdy friend isn't breathing - or seems like he isn't breathing. How is she supposed to help him? She can't give him CPR - she has no air she can breathe into his lungs. She can do chest compressions, but, hell, she's too freaked out to remember how to do any of that so she starts yelling.

"HELLLLLP! SOMEONE HELP!"

And then back to Milo. "Okay, okay, you're okay, no reason to panic. We're not panicking here. Can you- Are you actually not breathing? Are you choking on something? You have one second to nod or shake your head and answer me before I start giving you abdominal thrusts and trust me, coming from me it's really gonna hurt, so are you choking?"

(From the flashback meme!)

@the-haunted-office

Milo didn't respond. He didn't even hear her. His eyes had a glazed, faraway look to them, almost like his body was here in the office, but his mind was somewhere else. He coughed weakly and a small word came out, a somewhat surprising one.

"Mama!" He gasped it out, another cough at the end.

Rourke raced through the office as soon as he heard Doom yelling. He actually dropped and slid across the floor to Milo's side.

"He's not choking, Doom. It's......it's his memory. In his mind, he's reliving something fom his past, and his body's reacting to it. He can actually still breathe, but he probablycouldn't during whatever he's reliving......which means.......I think I know exactly what memory it is. Can you find us someplace a bit more private than the hallway and I'll tell you? Please?" He carefully took Milo in his arms and followed her, talking to him as they went. Except he sounded almost like he was talking to a toddler or small child. But it seemed to work. Milo's body relaxed, and the gasping choking noises were replaced by soft sniffling sounds as he hid his face in Rourke's chest. Once Doom found them a room, he sat down with Milo against him, sniffling softly into Rourke's chest, and the ex-soldier could feel a wet spot growing on his shirt. He held him close and just let him, occasionally stroking his hair or rubbing his back. He looked back up to Doom.

"This......happens to him sometimes. He......he was three years old at the time. The train he was on with his parents derailed. Crashed and caught on fire. And the stretch of track was out in the country, so it took a while for help to get there. His parents could've lived, but.......they went back for Milo." Rourke knew the whole story, and told it easily, though his eyes filled with tears as he told it.

They had almost escaped when both realized their son was not with them, and both fought through the other frantic passengers, screaming their child's name as they did.

Milo had fallen when all the people started running. He'd tripped and lost his hold on his mama's hand, and now she was gone. And so were his glasses. He couldn't see, but he could feel how hot it was, smell the awful smoke that made him cough, hear the fading shouts of people and the roar of the flames. He tried to follow where he thought they'd gone, but something bright and hot fell down in front of him. He screamed and jumped backward.

"MAMA!! DADDY!!" He screamed. The heat and loud noise and brightness were so scary. He coughed more as he backed up against something dark and started to cry, occasionally screaming for his mama and daddy.

Then suddenly they were there. He couldn't see them, but he heard the voices, felt his mama pick him up and hug him tight. There was a loud noise and the child shrieked and hid his face against his mother.

"I'm scared, Mama! I can't see!" He cried.

"I know, sweetheart, you're alright now. Mama's here, Mama's got you, Milo." She was saying something to his daddy that he couldn't hear over his own crying (in fact, they were realizing they were trapped, as the way they'd come was blocked by flaming debris) They had tears of their own on their faces as they realized all three of them would likely die here. Milo continued to scream and cry, even as they found a space that miraculously was not burning. They pushed Milo as far into that space as they could, then shielded him with their bodies. They talked to him the whole time, saying how much they loved him, even as things got hotter, there was more smoke.

Then a sound of something large crashing down almost right on top of him. And suddenly his mama and daddy weren't talking to him anymore. They seemed to get heavier, like they were actually laying on top of him. But no matter what he did, they didn't respond, didn't get off him. The poor child didn'tknow they were dead. He was alone in the midst of a burning hell.

By some miracle, Milo was still alive when the fire was put out and someone found him. It was confirmed his parents had saved his life by shielding him as they had. The large piece of debris that killed them had missed hitting little Milo beneath them. Their final act had been one of love for their child.

When Rourke finished, Milo had settled, having cried himself to sleep in the other man's arms. As he usually did when this happened.

[scenetocause]

hello my dearest emptyhalf do you have any horny thoughts about max and his slutty hairy thighs and lando's shirt a lil tight on his chest? if you wanted to share ❤️

this was all very slutty of them wasn't it. their medium phase is very slutty. i think they should do it! max is looking very hot lately and i know he has a complicated relationship(tm) to his body because don't we all but it is very nice, very cute! if i was an even less restrained person there would probably be omegaverse in his fictional self's near future for looking, ahem, breedable.

some ficlet. warning: undernegotiated polyamory/probably just cheating but whatever

"Mate" Max isn't even going to pretend he thinks what Lando's about to say should be on stream, glares at him as though Lando doesn't know perfectly well he's already muted his mic.

"You - those shorts. Did you always have - y'know, legs like... that."

"I have always had legs, yes, Bob." Max sighs. This is going to be - he had a feeling bringing Pietra was going to turn things chaotic but he'd been hoping Lando'd like her more if they spent a bit of time together.

It's not that he thinks Lando likes her any less or that it's been totally unsuccessful getting them to speak to each other. It's just that Lando likes Max so much he can't act normal about it and Max had been promising he wasn't going to - like, he's not under the illusion this is ok, really but also it's Lando and if only they could've coordinated being single better maybe-

Ok, stop that thought. He's not having that thought. But this is a lot more complicated than he was expecting it to be, mostly because of the simple truth that Lando wants to get in his pants and Max wants him to.

"They're, hmm." Lando chews his own thumb for a moment. "Very nice."

"Thanks, Bob." He doesn't dare look round, having averted his eyes to the screen while Lando was still gnawing at whatever this is. "Can you help me set this up?"

Giving Lando things to do for Max always seems to focus him, bring him back from whatever alternate universe he was getting close to touching. It's just that it also gives him an excuse to touch Max, which gets very dangerously close to groping Max's tits on camera and they might be muted but this isn't a good idea.

He knew he shouldn't have worn the McLaren shirt. Except that he did, precisely so this would happen and he could blame it on Lando being a gremlin instead of Max wanting.

"Bob," he says it quietly, catching sight of himself in his own camera for a second and nearly squirming. His lips look kiss-swollen even though - he swears - they haven't been and he's got this look he remembers from Pietra's bedroom with the mirror wardrobe.

Lando is grinning, the sharp-teeth one that's particularly unhinged and always makes Max feel like something good's about to happen. Like feeling out a car that you know is going to be good for pole. Like lightning on the horizon. Like they're gonna order Domino's to the Woking house and then get each other off on the big, stupid, grey sofa.

It takes him slightly too long to refocus, has absolutely no idea what track or race or anything he's about to be doing and it's guaranteed to be a mess anyway. He can't think about iRacing when his brain's running away with reasons it'd be fine to just stay up late with Lando tonight, get some them-time to do man things.

Just normal things. Innocent things, as the meme goes.

Lando trails his stupid, long fingers down the back of Max's neck, stroking behind his ears and he shivers involuntarily, has to rearrange in the seat only to settle right back to where Lando can touch him. Like he does with everything.

[forthedancingandthethriving]

SMG4 finds that, really, really badly, he wants to tear out the throat of his alternate version of him. He remembers about a week ago, when Lil Coding got sent to this place, he was ranting and raving for hours about this universe's version of him.

His heart felt so heavy as his son ranted on and on about this alternate version's attitude. And attitude he himself used to have, before.. the Reset.

He clenches his hands and exhales before, finally, pushing himself up and sitting on the couch. It draws attention to him immediately, with these other versions of his friends nearby, but SMG4 was surprised by how there was still no.. showgrounds castle.

Were things that different in this world?

"Hey, uh.. SMG4-" Meggy begins, approaching him with a warm smile, but he cuts her off.

"Glitchy." he corrects her with a sigh. "Just.. just call me Glitchy, please."

He stands up and rolls his shoulders, wincing. That was the last time he let Mario and Lil Coding team up when making weird memes.

He finally looks at the other version of himself, and he forces back a scowl. Don't judge someone until you've seen them yourself, Forum's voice rings in his mind, and he lets out a soft sigh.

"Two times in a week," the other SMG4 sighs before glaring at Mario. "Thanks a lot, Mario. You really can't go one day without doing some stupid, can you?"

"It's not his fault." Glitchy narrows his eyes at SMG4, and everyone jolts a bit at how sharp his voice is. "I haven't even explained how I got here and you're already blaming him?"

"He was being his typical self earlier and messing things up!" SMG4 shrugged. "Plus, add on his track record-"

"Track record has nothing to do with this." Glitchy cuts him off, and he has to mentally remind himself to breathe. "Don't go and assume shit all because Mario was being Mario, okay?"

It's quiet before he continues. "Anyway, the whole reason I ended up here is because my Mario and son ended up, uh.."

"Wait, son?" Mario interrupts him. He gasps. "Wait, you're that Glitchy?! Your son is the one who threw a piano at SMG4?"

"Mario!" Meggy glares. "Dude, come-"

"Yeah, Lil Coding is my son." Glitchy smiles warmly and nods. He doesn't care for the bewildered look Meggy gives him. "And that's what he grabbed that piano for? Jeez.."

Glitchy takes note of how everyone is looking at each other, confused. He knows that they're confused about why he isn't agitated with Mario's antics.

Speaking of Mario..

He walks over to the alternate version of his best friend and pats his shoulder, still smiling warmly. "And Lil Coding said that you were really nice to him. Thanks for that. He.. can have trouble in places he doesn't really recognize."

Mario beams at that, and Glitchy looks over at SMG4. "And.. sorry for the way he treated you. Lil Coding, I mean." He glances away with a shrug, heart clearly not there in the apology. "Absolutely no clue what got into him."

"It's alright." the alternate version of himself shrugs. "I'm used to it since I've been someone's friend for the past 12 years."

Glitchy doesn't miss that subtle dig at Mario. He used to do it, too. He knows.

He flexes his hands a bit to try and calm himself. No. Even if he wouldn't ever end up back here, it'd be wrong to start something. He needed to be calm, cool, and at the very least, sane.

He forgot how hard that was to do.

Glitchy found himself defending this different version of his friend over and over again over the course of the day. Each time Mario seemed to mess up something, typically because of something outside of his control, everyone would all too easily blame it on him.

It was exhausting, draining, and downright infuriating seeing the attitudes of these different friends.

But it also reminded him that this was them at one point. This was their day-to-day as well. Before the Reset, before Singularity, before everything.. this had been what they did. How they acted. How they treated their Mario.

How Glitchy had treated Mario.

He'd changed, and everyone had changed, for the better, thankfully. They stopped treating Mario like an idiot, a lazy moron, everything. They had apologized and grown.

These versions either hadn't realized it yet, or they needed a wake up call.

And as SMG4 snarkily said something towards Mario, Glitchy felt the final string in him snap, and he decided that he would be that wake up call.

"Well maybe," Glitchy sneers, stepping between Mario and SMG4, "if you just listened to him, for once in your life, you'd actually know what happened!"

"Know what happened?!" SMG4 demands, glaring. "All because he doesn't want to run his spaghetti store anymore and not make anymore food, he decided to throw a fit and-"

"He's never had this kind of responsibility before!" Glitchy snaps back. "And he didn't throw a fit, you idiot! He wasn't motivated! You and I both know damn well what it's like, not being motivated!"

He takes a step forward, and SMG4 takes a step back. "You feel like you can't do it, you feel the immense pressure on you, and you just can't gather the willpower to! I know we've both felt that, time and time and time again!"

"And yet here, you want to act like some self-righteous prick!" Glitchy spat, drawing everyone else's attention. "Have you forgotten that the whole reason Mario is even like this is because of you?!"

"I never wanted him to be like this-!" SMG4 tries to argue back.

"Oh, so what did you want?! Did you want an easy Avatar that you could oh-so easily record videos with and make memes out of?!" Glitchy demands. "Or do you want Mario to stop being himself when it was you who caused it!"

He couldn't stop himself. All of his self-loathing, his anger, his hate all directed towards himself began flowing out. He could barely hear himself over the pounding of his own heart. He was just too angry. Too furious.

He finally had a target for all of his loathing for how he treated Mario, and of course, that being was an alternate version of him.

"And another thing!" Glitchy shouts, voice cracking a bit. He doesn't care. "I bet you don't even know about the 'best friend award', huh?! Never stopped to ask Mario how he was after MAR10 Day, did you?!"

Everyone falls quiet and the only sound is Glitchy's pants from shouting.

SMG4 hesitates. "What.. award..?"

"Of course you didn't know." Glitchy laughs bitterly. "I mean, why would you? Too fucking focused on making a perfect video, and-"

"And I think that's enough!"

Glitchy jolts at the sudden hand on his shoulder, and he turns his head to see.. his SMG3. He can tell by the way the other Guardian is looking at him.

Glitchy exhalesband turns, already walking in the direction of the portal he knew his SMG3 came out of. "Okay."

"Dude.." his SMG3 sighs, following after him. He says nothing more, but Glitchy knows that his partner will have more to say.

"Fix your attitude," Glitchy warns his alternate self as he stands in front of the portal, "before you go through something that'll make you realize how much of a fucking dumbass you've been."

He strides through the portal, his SMG3 close behind.

"What the fuck was that?" Bob asks, raising his swords in a 'what the fuck' gesture as everyone watches the portal close.

The only answer was the soft howl of the wind.

[glorified-red]

What do you think about people who enjoy fandom surface? Like, knowing enough to laugh at memes, appreciating fanart, reading fanfics about characters they like, etc. But don't really know many details?

Fun question, and surprisingly controversial for some reason

Honestly, I think that's the purest form of fandom engagement and it should be protected at all costs. I have fully read fanfics over 100k words with no idea who the characters were and read it just like a regular novel. I remember telling the author that and it blew their mind that someone could enjoy their work not from a fandom lens, but from a creative one. I enjoyed the fic because the writing was phenomenal AND I got to support them.

I reblog art all the time with no clue who they are. I go to conventions and buy art from booths having no fucking idea who is drawn. I even talked to my favorite artist and admitted I was worried about buying some of their art because I knew it was Genshin Impact and I've never played it, let alone know anything about it.

Seeing the gradual sadness in her eyes was something I will never forget. I bought every Genshin Impact print she sold and to this day, it is the most gorgeous art I own. I treated it as nothing more than art, because at the end of the day that's what it is. I got to support that small artist and that's more than enough of a reason for me to buy it.

Heck, I never would've gotten this deep into the Batfam if I hadn't first started surface level. We all have to start somewhere. Plus, I think fandom is starting to get more and more gatekeep-y and it's really annoying to see.

Let people enjoy things!

Fandom only exists because of voluntary participation. If we keep gatekeeping it or shunning those who participate, fandom will slowly die out.

It's okay to be a surface level enjoyer. Hell, I go to concerts only knowing one song. I buy band tshirts from bands I only really like three songs they've ever made but those three songs bring me joy. I buy pop toys of characters I just think look cool.

Plus, conversation starters?? You know how fun it is to wear a shirt and have someone comment on it and then getting to learn from them a little bit? The "I love this song" and "I like this one! Listen to it sometime?"

The bonding is so pure. I think humans just love to love things for the sake of loving them and it's adorable.

Sometimes I get caught in the gatekeeper track of "wow, how dare you say you're a fan of you've never XYZ" but then I step back and realize how stupid that is.

Just let people enjoy things, fandom included. I went to a hockey game once?? Dude, that was the most fun I've ever had. Do I know ANYTHING about hockey or the teams playing? Absolutely not. Did I have a blast?? Hell yea.

We have the most fun in life when we stop giving a shit about other people's opinions. Just have fun, whatever that looks like for you.

And if that's knowing every single fact about one fandom and collecting everything there is to buy? Go ham, bud. I'll support it.

But if that's also reblogging a fic because the writing was cool, awesome! Sounds like a good read!

Just have fun :)

[jacenbren]

2 tag memes

Got tagged in these by @dragonofeternal and I’m more than happy to play along!!

Current things tag meme

3 ships: Inumaki Toge/Okkotsu Yuuta; Legato Bluesummers/Millions Knives; Kai Smith/Zane Julien

Last song: Your Best American Girl by Mitski

Currently reading: the Jujutsu Kaisen manga. against my own better judgement.

Currently watching: working my way through rewatching Supernatural and Death Note. the former is a lot lamer than I remember and the latter is a lot goofier than I remember.

Last movie: Annihilation!! I love that movie and rewatch it from time to time, however I made the mistake of watching it while on a redeye to San Franciso and dozed off halfway through. had a nightmare of That Goddamn Bear chasing me. bad plan.

Currently consuming: fuck I forgot to eat breakfast today. I will make up for it by eating an entire box of cherry tomatoes.

Currently craving: I would kill for some donuts right about now lol

15 people 15 questions tag me

Are you named after anyone? Yes actually! My legal name is based on the name of a band my dad likes, and I stole my chosen name off of a character from the Star Wars EU.

When was the last time you cried? While I was traveling a week ago; I got really overstimulated and exhausted while off my ass on Nyquil and had a meltdown :(

Do you have kids? Nope I am nineteen and not at all mentally healthy enough to be emotionally there for a child. am currently hoping to remove the baby making bits asap.

What sports do you play/have you played? I ran cross-country for about seven years (all the way through both middle school and high school) and got my varsity letter my senior year! I also did track & field for a few years (my events were long jump and 100-meters) and to this day I still go on jogs during the summer.

Do you use sarcasm? I am very autistic so my ability to discern tone is. not great. apparently I use sarcasm a lot without meaning to lmao

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Probably their voice tbh

What’s your eye color? Blue. like apparently scarily blue. fucking satoru gojo dayglow freaky ass cerulean orbs.

Scary movies or happy endings? It wildly depends on the genre and my attachment to the characters. I'm much more of a psychological horror guy rather than an enjoyer of slasher films, so I definitely tend to prefer horror literature than movies. as for happy endings?? I definitely enjoy them when I'm looking for escapism, but unhappy/bittersweet endings definitely still have special a place in my heart.

Any talents? I'm really good at driving and I have perfect pitch!

Where were you born? Anchorage Alaska, born and raised :)

What are your hobbies? I'm a big writer, and I occasionally dabble in drawing. I'm really into Stardew Valley at the moment and I've racked up over 200 hours at this point in just one save file. I am falling hopelessly for Sebastian but I feel too guilty to divorce my current husband Elliot. help.

Do you have any pets? Yep, a cat named Ekko and a dog named George. No the dog isn't named after GeorgeNotFound. My dad named him after George Costanza from Seinfeld.

How tall are you? 5'6"

Favorite subject in school? I was always really into history and would meticulously take notes to the point where I could've probably taught the class myself. however autistic gifted kid burnout hit halfway through high school and I barely graduated after sleeping through most of my classes lmao.

Dream job? Any job where I can put some music on and just Do Tasks all day. I worked tourism over the summer (hated that job and I never want to go back) and spent half of it hiding in the back room putting stickers on merchandise. I Love Boring Menial Tasks.

anyway tagging @mellointheory @hecksee @apollos-boyfriend @setsuntamew @acewendino @wigglesforsquiggles @siryyeet @routeriver @versaphile @avitus-ostrander !! feel free to join in if you like; no pressure :D

[crossbackpoke-check]

15 questions + 15 friends (tagged by my beloveds @whitenikes & @acheronist 🥰💕 thank you thank you!!)

1. Are you named after anyone?

technically yes… i’m named after a character in a book but my mom has never been able to remember what book 🫡

2. When was the last time you cried?

i don’t usually log frequent crier miles but i definitely cried in december (??) watching the music video for “amelia” for a variety of reasons

3. Do you have kids?

nope! i do refer to my students as my kids sometimes on accident and have freaked out more than one person by saying “my kids” lmao

4. What sports do you play/have played?

currently i play rugby, although i grew up playing a lot of sports—i did volleyball, basketball, track, and danced competitively (which is probably the sport i miss the most)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

me? using sarcasm? never :) here i usually don’t because it doesn’t come across the same over text and irl it’s usually just with people i’m comfortable with and know will get it

6. What is the first thing you notice about someone?

oooo outfit maybe? voice? context dependent for sure

7. What’s your eye color?

legally, hazel. illegally, whatever color the nearest person to me says that they are at the time

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings :)

9. Any talents?

(insert the quinn hughes 😬 on the bench reaction meme please i’m trying ok!!)

i can bake pretty decently! athletic if that’s a talent? i would love to learn how to do more artsy things (got a crochet kit & paint with watercolor sometimes)

10. Where were you born?

michigan 🧤<- not a mitten but i’d show you where i’m from on it if i could

11. What are your hobbies?

reading, although i never have as much time to read as i want to (send me book recs please)… i count sports as a hobby and i just got a really pretty new puzzle! also, obviously, hockey.

12. Do you have any pets?

yes!!! i have a canary and a society finch (orville and duncan), a hypo corn snake (apollo! he has hearts on his head!), and two cats (john watson and effie). in the future i’d love to have a dog again, since i just lost him this past summer

13. How tall are you?

moritz seider (5’3”)

14. Favorite subject in school?

real hot girls speak german 💅 it’s either that or biology but i feel like that’s little bit of a cop out

15. Dream job?

re: the cop out above, dream job is working as a veterinarian for a zoo! so it makes sense i love biology lol

tagging @songsandswords @kj-op @hiding-from-reality-56 @catboy-mahura and anyone else who’d like to and hasn’t done it already!!

[angelinthefire]

(for the writing ask meme!) “If there’s anything…” he trails off, uselessly. 

“I did it for you, y’know.”

Cas stops, and turns, confusion on his face.

“Did what?”

“Give up.” Dean says. 

Staring into his whiskey.

“Pull the trigger.”

He looks up from his glass. 

Looks Cas in the eye. 

Says, sounding so tired,

“To bring you back.”

Cas remembers what it was like when the Lance of Michael pierced his guts. The liquifying burn of it. 

“What?” he breathes.

This is worse. 

Cas stares at Dean, waiting for a tell, a clue, as to why Dean would say that, why he would lie. But Dean just watches him steadily. 

And with each passing second Cas feels himself fall to pieces.

With the weight. 

The responsibility. 

The blood that he didn’t know was on his hands. 

Sam’s blood.

And Dean watches. Steady. 

“You don’t mean that,” Cas says. Desperate. 

“Do I look like I’m lying?”

Cas knows what Dean looks like when he lies. It’s not like this. 

He looks resigned. 

“No.” Cas steps forward. Shaking. Pleading. “No. Dean, you saved the world. Sam saved the world.”

The corner of Dean’s mouth curls up, as if he could actually laugh at this. 

“Sam thought… ‘Hey if we’re gonna off ourselves to save everyone, we should make sure Chuck brings Cas back too.’”

Dean takes a sip of whiskey.

“Make sure we get our money’s worth.” 

His eyes slide over Cas’ body. Something dark and dead in them. 

Cas’ coat is still hanging over the chair in the den. Without it he feels exposed. 

“The cherry on top.” 

Dean shakes his head, gulps his liquor.

“He didn’t know,” he says, whisky burning in his voice. “The world coulda stayed gone if you weren’t in it.”

Dean lifts his gaze to look Cas in the eye again.

Like he’s waiting for something. 

After days of getting nothing but distance, silence, and the occasional rebuke from Dean, there’s a part of Cas that thrills at the proof, the hard proof, that Dean cares about him. 

And it makes Cas sick. 

(this scene/conversation absolutely punched me in the gut and i'd love your commentary on it!!)

Regarding this meme:

Pick any passage of 500 words or less from any fanfic I’ve written, and stick that selection in my ask/fan mail. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what’s going on in the character’s heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you’d expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

About this fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38411026/chapters/95991652

Oooh, thank you for picking this one. Some of the heavy parts of this fic were, honestly, kind of upsetting/depressing to write, but some of them were fun, and this was one of the fun bits. It's the first of the tentpole scenes in the fic, that the rest of the story is strung out between.

It was really fun to just blindside Cas with this reveal. To take his whole self-sacrificing, steadfast approach to Dean and fuck with it. Stick him in the pear wiggler and torture him for a bit.

When I first started thinking about writing this fic, the first big question was: how would Cas react to finding out that Dean killed Sam to get him back? There's a spectrum of denial-guilt-gratification that Cas could land on. I thought about it for a long time, and messaged some people on tumblr, and this is what I landed on. That Cas' immediate reaction is to believe what Dean says, and be overwhelmed with guilt [Sidebar 1: Sometimes I feel like my fics are arguing against that faction of Cas-interpretations where his sense of self-worth is in the negatives, and you wonder how he manages to maintain relationships at all, because he's so convinced that no one can care about him, etc etc.] and then he slips into denial as a way to deal with that guilt, and to avoid upsetting the status quo of his worldview too much. And then there is a little bit of gratification there, just for spice. Because it's interesting. Because Cas is not a perfect person, and he can have base reactions to things too.

And of course Dean is being self-destructive. He's being cruel to Cas, but in a way that he's expecting that cruelty to reflect back and hurt him. By tanking their friendship, or incurring Cas' anger, or something else. And, like, as I write in the next chapter, he does get a certain sense of satisfaction out of hurting Cas this way. It's a satisfaction that comes from getting something over with, getting it off his chest. And a satisfaction that comes from tossing aside a goal and not having to worry about it anymore -- from (he thinks) destroying Cas' opinion of him. Like, the central thesis of this fic is that Dean is not a fundamentally destructive/abusive person. He does absolutely do things that are cruel and that hurt people, but that comes from his own self-defeating tendencies, and he has it in him to change. [Sidebar 2: This fic is also an argument against certain interpretations of Dean]

This scene is also a bit of a meta-textual answer to the people who were arguing on the post that inspired the fic that Dean did not offer to kill Sam to get Cas back, that the point was to bring back everyone else in the world. My answer to that is that in the offer, Dean's life was negotiable, Sam's life was negotiable, but Cas' life was not. And that's the whole point. That emotionally, Dean was there to get Cas back. And technically, he killed Sam to save the world. But Dean knows where he was at emotionally, and that's what haunts him. That he wanted Cas back most of all. And that he killed his brother and got something that he wanted in return. That might not have technically been the trade, but that's the emotional truth of it. And that's what's fucking Dean up.

There was a comment or two that expressed surprise that this scene happened so early in the fic. But the central tension for the first 3/4th of the fic isn't about Dean revealing this to Cas. It's about Dean making himself understood to Cas. And it's about Dean giving up on trying to punish himself in the way that he'd doing here. Like, Cas keeps wondering why Dean tells him this, is it to hurt him, is it to blame him, etc. And then in chapter 9, Dean confirms that he did this for Cas, and he adds the last piece of vital information, that he loves Cas.

I spent a lot of time thinking about line breaks, lol. The frequent line breaks and short sentences/incomplete sentences both slow the eye down, and creates a sense of fragmentation. Which is part of communicating the vibe of the moment.

Another thing that I am always thinking about is having physical touchpoints to ground the scene. Sometimes you read stuff (not just fic), and it's like the characters are actors delivering lines on a blackbox stage. That's something I'm always trying to avoid. And once you start thinking about what's going on physically in a scene that opens up so many more possibilities for using action to punctuate a scene, or to create symbolism, or to set the mood. In this scene, the physicality is all with Dean, drinking his whiskey. And Cas is just standing there, absorbing this information, and the fact that he doesn't have any action, I think, also helps to make him feel kind of ungrounded, which reflects where he's at emotionally. At least, that's how I think of it when I visualize the scene.

And lastly, on the line "the cherry on top" and Cas feeling exposed. It was really, reallly important that through the whole first part of the fic, there was sexual tension between Dean and Cas. Like, they're both grieving, and incredibly fucked up, and just generally in a very dark place, AND they both desperately want to fuck. I think that was a really weird, fun energy to have.

[emptypassicn-moved]

@infernal-stars        sent:

    ❝    How long had it been since he last spoke to Pip? Years now for sure. A tinge of guilt later in that evening as his mother scolded him for what he did started to lead to Damien avoiding the poor Brit who was more than deserving of an apology. And after all these years things have finally caught up to him. After all these years, they're in the same spot, staring each other down, or rather Damien staring him down and remembering all that he had done.

Glancing off to the side for a moment, his gaze turns to the nearest exit and back to Pip again, the normal calm expression he carried soon turned into nervousness. Tugging on the collar of his sweater, he's desperately scrambling to figure out how to word this. That is.. until the words spill out of his mouth, leaving his face a bright red from pure embarrassment.

"I'm sorry." Is the first out of many, it feels empty to him, like Pip deserves more than this. "F-for what I did as a kid. When I almost killed you. I.. I owe you an apology for that. I mean. I know it's been years and this won't change what I did. But I figured i've avoided approaching you enough over this.." { Damien @ Pip @infernal-stars }   ❞

From ;; not an ask meme // plotted ask

        It had been uncomfortable. Just going about his business in this dreadful little town and then seeing someone that looked like him. Then to only find out it was him, it truly had to be just his luck. Bad luck, that was. Pip did think himself a potentially notoriously unlucky sort of fellow with his grand track record of bad things happening to him. Though, this? This did feel he was being mocked by some outside force.

Because, of course, once he's resurfaced. Once he's decided to finally allow himself to begin acting normal, as if he hadn't been dead for basically a decade, he ends up meeting Damien Thorn himself once more. Someone who he'd once briefly considered one of his very few friends as a child, someone he'd been betrayed and almost killed by just in an attempt for the other to try to fit in with their peers.

And the look of discomfort laced with a bit of fear soon switched out to a look of surprise as the apology came out. One that actually addressed what wrong had done, at least partially.

        “ You're sorry? ” He almost sounded bewildered.

Sure, apologies were something he hoped for in returning to the surface and being able to see those he once knew again. Did he expect to truly get any? Certainly not. Even less so from Damien. It left him genuinely speechless for a long moment as he hadn't a clue what else to even say to this.

        Pip's hands were soon clenched into fists at his sides as he soon found his words again, purely out of a sense of anxiety and — honestly? — a bit of anger as well.

“ I can't... ” His eyes scanned the surrounding area briefly, looking anywhere but the embarrassed man before him. But he soon forced his gaze back onto Damien. “ I— I can accept that you're sorry and your apology is appreciated but... I cannot just forgive that. You... You betrayed me and you were no better than everyone else. You could have killed me. All just to please everyone else. ”