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Imagine Harvey dent sneaking into Wayne manor after another gang fight with penguin only for Civilian!Bruce to be in those slutty ass black night gowns glaring at him from the steps of the manor waiting for his husband to get home.
Aka I would like to offer you chaotic civilian billionaire bruce and his very tired mob! boss husband.
Harvey dent fears no man expect the wrath of his husband, imagine trying to take down Twoface and failing only for him to be brought down by his tiny and very angry husband lecturing him on missing another date.
They also most definitely had a "excuse my husband asked fr no pickels" moment
I'm sorry I really needed to share this idea that's been rotting in my brain.
NO, BUT THIS IS SO IMPORTANT. Vital. We should be talking about this until time dies.
Bruce being a civilian and STILL marrying one of the most notorious criminals without any qualms is possibly the most take ever.
He's invited to brunches and galas and pretentious pool parties where everyone eats tiny sandwiches and talk about wanting to poison their husbands soon.
Bruce sighs all dreamy, eyes sparkling, " I gave Harvey a bazooka for his birthday and he was so happy he blew up the police station. He knows me so well."
Not to mention, Two Face's street credit fluctuates between flourishing and absolutely tanking.
He'll have some poor bastard ankles up, dangling above the white sharks he bought for Damian's birthday, and in the middle of his Menacing speech, his phone rings.
"And when you see God, tell him I -- Oh. Wait a minute. Mi vida, I'm doing something right now."
There's some mild phone gibberish.
"No, I didn't forget, I'm just gonna be a little late, -- Of course I know he wants me to be there, doll, but I just, -- oh come on, he's 5! Of COURSE he wants a theme park! Yes, it has to be a Wonder Woman one. Cause he said please!"
More phone gibberish, louder this time.
" Okay. I know, I know, I love you too. And you wear that lacey thing when I get home, huh?" Okay, now the sharks are preferable. Poor bastard who thought it was acceptable to kidnap Bruce Wayne and his son prefer it.
"Uh, you can just go ahead and drop me."
Harvey looks down at him with blade like sharpness, and you don't know which face you're talking to. " Drop you? Nah. Waitin' for my doll to come over here. You're my anniversary gift, pal."
#tHEM#ANON YOU MADE MY DAY#im dying to talk about bruharvey they mean so so so much to me ESP THIS AU HELLO?!?!?!#bruce wayne#dc#dc comics#bruce doesnt kill. he does however injure and maims for his kids <3#harvey dent#bruharvey#twobats#bruce x harvey#text#text post#my writing
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It's very funny watching the Estefans claiming that this was intentional on his part. He'd wanted to be able to use Alpine as leverage, and now he can't. Face it. Alpine will bounce back. They've made good hires and will focus on 2026. I expect to see them P4. Meanwhile Esteban's only remaining option is Haas, who don't even manufacture their own parts.
Estefans... Estefans! How did I not come up with this before? Omg its genius
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OH MY GOD i didnt realize the fire guy was your sona i thought he was some sexyman from a show i didnt know a bout
this is horrible. thank you
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I love your Ezra. Waking up and reading this first thing this morning was the best way to start my Friday!
🥹🥹🥹
Anon. This means so flipping much to me. I’m sorry I didn’t get to it sooner, but I want you to know that I appreciate you more than you know. Thank you from the depths of my soul for reading and for taking the time to send this message. And the fact that this is how you started your day? Come here I want to hug you.
I am THRILLED to know that you like my version of Ezra. He’s one of my favorite characters to write, and sharing him with you gives me all the joy.
I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend. Thank you again for making my day with this!!
#thank you anon!#anon ask#ezra (prospect)#ezra (prospect) fic#angelfish universe#anon you made my DAY#nice people fuckin rock
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Hi Billie! I just wanted to say Merry Christmas and I'm proud of you for taking your time with Temptation. I understand the pressure of wanting to release your work especially when other people are asking for it. I hope you have a good day and a good holiday break 🩷
Thank you so much for these lovely words and Merry Christmas to you too sweet anon 🥺 Writing always had been something I cherish and love to do. For sure I have this pressure on me - given by myself and others - and sometimes I wish I could write much faster. Sadly I can't and I know I still have to improve myself. I'm working on it everyday. But your message, those given by my dear friends here or those coming from people who appreciates my work genuinely make me love more what I'm doing and mean the world to me. Have a good holiday break❣️
#billie answer#i think you all wanted me to cry#no really i'm so grateful#thank you so much#anon you made my day#i love you all
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I proclaim you patron saint of mustache rides. Be blessed. Amen.
can it be this one? this specific mustache -- this one right.here. please. don't ask questions just please tell me what my options are . . .
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Hi =) who would you let take care of you in the Electric guys and why?
Ok this is an EXCELLENT question:
1. Dan K.: he’s a dad, he’s sweet, he’d bring me what i need and not be annoyed. Top 1 choice.
2. Nico: you’d think an ex nurse would be my top choice but no. He’d be matter of fact about it and I’m a big baby when I’m sick. But he’d be useful.
3. Pascal: he’d also be able to get me what i need but i fear if he looked worried because of me I’d be heartbroken. He always looks like a sad puppy. I don’t need to be sick AND heartbroken.
4. Danskimo: i think he’d eventually get me my meds and such but not after a few moments of ‘well i told you to take your meds earlier so of course now it’s more painful’. He’d take care of me but yeah
The absolutely only if there’s no one else category
5. Kevin: he means so well but between all the grandma recipes and tricks, it’s a disaster. I just want to sleep, Kevin. Please
6. David: see above. Also, you know his grandmother (just like mine) probably has a recipe that calls for a shot of hard liqueur and the idea of downing vodka or grappa or sambuca right now sounds horrible.
#i cant stop laughing imagining them bickering in the best way to get me better#anon you made my day#ask#anon ask
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choose your favourite pasta dish - Stolleghetti and meatballs, chicken Stollefredo, or raviStollei and marinara sauce
Chicken Stollefredo 😋
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https://icarusian.tumblr.com/post/702460497436508160/i-like-to-think-arthur-is-good-at-cooking-at-least
arthur makes toast sandwich
i had to ask my best friend what this meant. he says, "oh you don't know? it's just a piece of toast between two slices of plain bread. sometimes they spice it up with salt and pepper, or even butter!" im horrified. absolutely astounded!
so arthur can now make TWO meals and he is so proud of himself for it. he serves it to francis. francis is at a loss for words. he still eats the three pieces of bread he is served.
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For the outfit thing, can you do Yahaba 3A? I really like your art!
Absolutely I can, anon! :D thank you so much for your kind words :))
(I hope you don't mind it like this but this was the first opportunity I had to draw him :'] )
#hes giving summer vibes and im here for it#anon you made my day#haikyuu!!#art#doodle#highlighter#seijoh#aoba jōsai#yahaba shigeru#haikyuu yahaba
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I like you. I think you are very cool.
(This isn't to be confused with a love confession, I just like your opinions.) :)
I like you. I think you are very cool.
(This is a love confession)
#LMAO#THANKS ANON WOW#IVE NEVER BEEN SO FLATTERED#you’re making me cry here 🥹#I’m glad my opinions aren’t all hot takes lmfao#/j if it wasn't obvious#anon you made my day
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In lieu of a new year, do you think we can have the FNAF Bois and the BATIM Bois celebrate? They deserve a happy break from the tortures of their lives. (Also g/t if you could)
You know what Anon? That's a fantastic idea.
Content Warnings: cursing, mentions of death, mentions of murder, mentions of violence, fireworks, being scared of loud sounds, mentions of illegal activities, smoke-bombs
_______________
David wasn’t thinking much of the New Year holiday.
For him, it simply meant ensuring all of his paperwork was filed properly. Dot his i's and cross his t’s type of deal.
Now don’t get him wrong! He celebrated in his own way once that was done. No parties, or watching the countdown until midnight, and absolutely no lighting fireworks like certain dumbasses. But he does relax, stays home for a few days, opts to wear the one set of comfortable clothes he owns, prideful of everything he’s accomplished to get to where he is.
Of course, he’s David Harrison. That’s his way of celebrating. And a year before, he couldn’t care less about how those considered his coworkers acknowledge the fact they’ve survived another year.
Now, becoming fond of those who make his life hell after joining the ‘Fazbear family’ wouldn’t be the right word, but he’s certainly become tolerant. A little curious when he notices the topic of a New Year party or fireworks never came up despite December 31st being right around the corner.
So he goes to Fritz for information.
“I need to make sure you’re not going to blow yourself up after setting off illegal fireworks.”
Out of everything he expected, a full on flinch wasn’t something that crossed his mind.
Neither would feeling hurt from such a reaction a year ago. Not when he called humans like his redheaded employee pests, or pets when he was feeling gracious that day, never watching where he stepped despite the fact someone only two inches tall could easily be hurt by such carelessness.
After a year of growing close to Fritz, admiring his work ethic, respecting him for not quitting despite all of David’s words and actions, he’s afraid the feeling creeping through him is devastation.
“I hate fireworks.”
Thank fuck.
“You hate fireworks?” David repeats, needing to make sure he heard the softly spoken sentence correctly. Though one glance over at the figure standing on his desk staring up with eyes wide with fear at the second mention says he did. “Aren’t teenagers like you supposed to love them?”
Fritz’s voice goes even softer. “I live right next to a giant neighborhood.”
David stares for a moment in the attempt to figure out what exactly that means considering how broad the statement is. Anywhere to being worried about the potential fire hazard to-
“The noise.”
“It’s an...experience,” is Fritz’s extremely generous comment to the fact his eardrums could burst simply because someone didn’t heed the strict rule of not lightly something as deafening as fireworks near a human neighborhood. “But hey! I’ve survived this long! Extremely good earplugs, ten blankets wrapped around me, and boom, the explosions are dampened!”
The smile not quite reaching his eyes state it’s hell.
David shouldn’t care. Yes, he appreciates one of his best employees, but it’s not the business man’s problem. Shouldn’t live right next to a giant neighborhood, should’ve found better ways to prepare, etc.
“We’re meeting up at Mike’s.”
Fritz stares at him as if he spoke another language. “Tonight?”
“No, dumbass,” David smirks as he nudges the teenager is the silent demand he gets back to work. “New Year's.”
. . .
Surprisingly, every giant was on board with the idea. Yet somehow, the humans were against it.
“I don’t need help with fireworks,” was Scott’s response, glaring to make it clear he was offended at the idea of people caring about his well being.
“How bad can they possibly be?” was Eggs’ idiotic statement because this would be his first year after having lived deep inside a human only district his entire life before.
“I-I-I've got M-Mike,” was Jeremy’s answer, and by far the only acceptable one. Not to mention he’d be the safest considering he lives in an apartment complex for both humans and giants. Residents who are respectful and considerate of the smaller counterparts they live with.
“I-I’d like to light fireworks!”
David face-palms as Mike grins at Caleb’s innocent response. Not that they can blame the eight year old, but the look being given by Scott says he’s chancing surviving the night at his house if even human sized fireworks are lit at the restaurant.
“It’s settled. We’re staying here tomorrow night.”
“It’s not settled,” Scott all but snarls. “I’m going home and staying home without any meddling giants.”
Eggs taps his chin. “I’ll come if he take Caleb’s suggestion of lighting at least one firework.”
“I-I-I-I-I don’t w-w-want fireworks,” Jeremy states. Looking adamant about his requirement.
And Caleb beams up at them as Fredbear is nearly strangled. “I’d settle for a smoke-bomb.”
That’s when Vincent bursts out laughing. “This is absolutely precious. The best part is David came up with this idea.”
The business man bristles. “What’s that supposed to mean.”
“Well, a year ago, you wouldn’t have even realized just how terrible fireworks are for humans, nor would you have cared,” James begins, not even blinking at the seething glare aimed toward him. “Now, you’re trying to protect even the most stubborn.”
“So?”
“It’s called character growth.”
“It’s not. It’s called me not wanting any dumbasses bitching about how they lost their hearing the night before and can’t work.”
David hates the smug yet not-smug expression on their horror guard's face. “Why isn’t Fritz a part of this conversation?”
“He’s staying with me at my house where there’s a strict rule of no fireworks if we weren’t meeting here.”
David absolutely despises the multiple looks of surprise at the statement.
“I said I didn’t want any dumbasses bitching about not being able to work!”
“I vote smoke-bomb!” Eggs exclaims.
“Smoke-bomb’s o-o-o-o-okay,” Jeremy murmurs.
Scott shakes his head. “Enjoy your night, I’m going to be home.”
Everyone looks toward Vincent at that, the purple man’s hands raising to state he’s not forcing his best friend even if it’s for his own well being. “You heard the Scotty.”
It’s better than nothing.
. . .
“Come p-pick me up.”
David’s foot freezes mid-step at the voice coming through the phone. He takes a moment to take the device away from his ear to confirm it is Scott currently talking to him.
“Are you sick or something?”
“I’m s-serious,” the eldest guard stutters, and once his mind finally catches the fact there’s desperation in the tone, he’s quick to make a small adjustment in his path toward the restaurant. “Someone lit a God damn firework right before I got inside, and it’s still l-light outside, so I thought I’d be safe-.”
All David can think about is how quiet Fritz got when they were just discussing it. Hearing Scott sound so shaken...
Look, he doesn’t care about the human, but he’s not denying he’s sending Mike to the neighborhood to kick whoever’s ass did it.
“Why me? Couldn’t you have bothered Vincent?”
Scott snorts and he can hear the smile in the man’s voice. “Did you forget your own plan? He’s kidnapping Caleb while James grabs Henry’s group.”
Right. He did actually forget about the soldier and everyone who’s had a similar experience to them when it comes to a madman with a syringe being their employer. Again, not fond, but it would’ve been cruel not to invite them considering they’re all human. Were trapped in literal hell for 30 years and therefore don’t really remember the outside world. Specifically dumbasses with fireworks.
“I’m on my way,” David mutters, sighing once he reaches the part where the human residence start, leaving him to gingerly step on streets barely big enough for him. He’s only done this once, and this time he’s promising to never do this again. Make the human come to him-
BOOM!
The business man jumps at the loud explosion, gasping in terror when it feels like he might lose his balance.
“Fuck!”
He heard it from two ears. His left one, facing the direction of the firework that went off in a giant’s neighborhood only a hundred feet away. And his right one, currently listening to his phone call with Scott. And it was Scott’s side that caused him to scream in pain.
As everything dies down, and his heart isn’t racing nearly as much, and he didn’t fall while standing in the middle of a human neighborhood, he can practically hear Scott shaking.
“Scott?”
“Hurry.”
He was only two steps away. And the moment he knelt down someone comes racing out of a familiar house.
David didn’t know what to expect. He shouldn’t have thought their embodiment of ‘look don’t touch’ wouldn’t just fling himself into a hand. But the idea of a blanket being tossed across his palm never popped into his head. Nor did Scott bundling in another one before very slowly crawling over his fingers.
“C-Cup your hands.”
He does as he’s told. Ensures the miniscule figure is a version of comfortable before placing one hand over before cupping them tightly in the hopes it helps in blocking out anymore of those fucking fireworks.
He’s honestly a bit terrified as he finally spots Freddy Fazbear’s. There weren’t anymore explosions, but he’s currently holding Scott with Vincent guaranteed being back by now.
He doesn’t know what’s worse. Having the mutated grape hold the door open so he knows exactly when the knife in the back will come, or their resident nerd opening it so he has no idea when the knife in the back will come.
Actually, no. James full on blocking the door is worse.
“Sorry sir,” the horror guard begins. “We’re closed except for employees.”
“Dumbass, it’s me.”
The closest they’ll get to emotion ever appearing on the man’s face flashes in the form of confusion before David’s eyed up and down. “You don’t look like yourself without your suit.”
“Let me in,” the business man growls, carefully nudging the shorter without jostling Scott to strut inside. “Don’t bring it up again. This is my one night off.”
Eggs actually spits out his water once the giant reaches the table. “Are you wearing a fucking hoodie!”
A glare is given toward the blond as he opens his hands. Yet instead of Scott springing out of his grasp, the human stares up at him. “How did I not notice you wearing a hoodie?”
“Off.”
The blankets are snatched up. Not even a second later, a blur of red dives into his hands instead as Fritz shivers uncontrollably. He doesn’t say a word as the teenager is held against his chest protectively.
“That’s every fucker,” Mike announces. Doesn’t comment about Wally currently yelling from Vincent’s chest pocket. Nor Henry expertly pinning Eggs to the table after the blond attempted to tackle him. “To the office, assholes.”
David’s allowed to be unimpressed with the set up on bean-bag chairs and blankets all having been collecting dust in the restaurant's basement for who knows how long. But he doesn’t say a word as he pulls one away from the pile to claim. Raises his eyebrows as Vincent sprawls on one with Scott looking happy bundled in his palm. Smirks as James ‘dumps’ everyone not claimed on a chair of their own.
“Ross help!”
“There’s no helping you, Franks.”
“Lahrence you asshole!”
David rubs Fritz’s back as the redhead jumps as the doors suddenly slide shut to seal them off completely from any booming fireworks, the power set so it won’t be running out until the night is over.
It’s no relaxing in his expensive house was he enjoys what the year brought, but he can’t say he hates it.
“So, what about that smoke-bomb?”
“No."
#Happy New Year!#Anon you made my day#And my year#I'm so sorry I took so long!#but I hope it's accepted!#but you've made sure I've started off this year strong#thank you for reading!#and yes it was super self-indulgent no @ing me#FNAF bois#BATIM bois#g/t#giant#tiny#BTE writing#First Story Of 2023#content warning#cw
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Feels like it’s been 3000 years since I saw someone who ships Undermine. Glad to see you like it.
ahaha, considering that most of the artwork of it that i could still find was sourced from like... 2014 to 2016, yeah..
i'm glad to see that there's another(?) one out there who likes it !! it's so tough out here with this rarepair... >_<
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https://www.tumblr.com/amorettopedri/732083150150320128/girl-u-did-not-drop-a-delicious-oneshot-and-then?source=share&ref=_tumblr
Honey, that story is my favorite. And I might have looked on Pinterest for clothes that Pedrin could wear. 😳👨❤️👨🥺
omggg staphhh I'm so flattered 🥺 (ohhhh niiiice, would love see those pins. I got a Pinterest board but soz it's private)
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okay but like. I just had the weirdest thought about that ‘don’t look I’m naked’ comic. Which is that that’s essentially the same thing Adam and Eve did after they ate the fruit of knowledge of good&evil. So I feel like the theological implications of that could kneecap Gabe if he doesn’t think V1 is a being with free will.
yeah ok. i dunno man. is this anything
((side note. this isn’t necessarily meant to be in-character or story-accurate or take place at any particular point in time, just a way to explore some Thoughts. i was also imagining more that V1’s words aren't actually spoken, more like Gabriel’s more articulate interpretation of whatever garbled mechanical noise V1 is using to communicate. I think an angel could do that.))
and then they fucked nasty the end
#my art#my writing#who fuckin sent this. fuck you. come off anon so i can kick your ass. (the thoughts this ask sparked consumed almost 3 days of my life)#i dont know what this even is#i just work here#disclaimer i don't come from a particularly religious background so like.#most of my knowledge of christianity comes from when my mom sent me to vbs for cheap babysitting in middle school or absorbed via osmosis#so i have no idea what im talking about except for when i do! hope this helps#i love how i say that like i expect biblical scholars to tear apart my ultrakill gay fanfiction#if you are a biblical scholar and you want to tear apart my ultrakill gay fanfiction please know i am not going to read the bible for this#ultrakill#v1 ultrakill#gabriel ultrakill#gabv1el#blood#love tagging ultrakill stuff with blood. hmm yes the floor here is made out of floor
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I for one am very excited to see your edits 🤗
Ummm you are too nice 🥰🥰 I'm getting ready to publish one. I have 3 in my drafts because I can't help myself 🤭
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