#ASK ME STUFF PLZ lmao

[silenthillbunni]

.

[heraldofcrow]

When I say I am doing “spring cleaning,” just assume it means I am cleaning out my tumblr drafts while my actual living space simply sinks further into decay.

(It’s not even spring yet)

[safyresky]

So we've been doing this really cool project at work that I HAVE to gush about for you all because it's really, really, really cool!

I work at a Rare Books and Special Collections library, and we have a LOT of very cool collections! One of the COOLEST ones has to be the Gothic Fantasy collection. Gothic Fantasy is, I believe, 60-80 boxes of pulp sci-fi/fantasy magazines that range from the 1920s all the way through to the 1960s/70s. Titles like Weird Tales and Amazing Sci-Fi Stories (which has changed it's title like, 20 times over the last century, I have learnt) are contained in this collection, in near full runs! We have had this collection for 50-60 years, and it is not catalogued.

(^Some of my favourite covers that I've seen so far while doing this project! I really, really, really love that string bean tin can man from Mercury lmao).

Sure, we have a finding aid for it; but given the nature of the storage (in a spare room that's not even a proper VAULT SPACE, in a set of banker's boxes), the finding aid is not the most reliable. It does the trick! but every time we have a class using the GF collection, we always end up being either A) unable to locate a few titles or, B) we find them in the wrong box.

There are, of course, many reasons for it not being catalogued yet: lack of manpower/staff, lack of space, time (hearkening back to the staff issue), and, of course, the BIG ONE: the condition of the magazines.

They're made with pulp paper, and that shit does NOT slap. It basically collapses in on itself bc of the high acid, and makes the magazines very brittle and delicate. We technicians fear having to grab titles from Gothic Fantasy because the titles LITERALLY crumble in your hands. See for yourselves:

That's just one of the boxes. They all look like that, with the edges of the magazines brittle and frayed, and, as you can see in the bottom of the box, pieces falling off and pooling underneath it all.

I don't know how long the department has been in talks about rehousing the GF Collection in a way that helps preserve it better, but in the two years and a bit that I've been there, it's been on the front burner. The conservation staff, along with our curator, worked together to get this project ready to go, after a TON of meetings and conservation reassessing each box and marking some as higher priority than others. FINALLY, for our FIRST EVER two week closure for projects like this, we were able to start rehousing GF and that's what I've been doing ALL WEEK! And it's been so fucking cool, guys.

We've been sliding most of them into magazine sleeves (approved by the con. staff) with appropriate backings. As we go along, we've numbered each box (in which we will be storing them flat, on top of one another) and given each item in the box an item number. A very simple numbering system that will make finding the specific titles SO MUCH EASIER.

There's a set outside of the box. We've been trying to order them by date (if possible lmao. we ran into an issue (pun intended) with the British editions: they don't actually have volume and issue numbers, nor do they have dates! They have copyright dates and that's what we've been going off lmao), that way when we rehouse them they're all close to if not in the same run (so the 40s together to the best of our abilities, then the 50s, and so on). We're also going title by title! We've started with Amazing Stories, as it's one of the larger ones in bad enough condition it's up there in priority, and it has taken us ALL WEEK to (nearly) finish them up!

Anyway, once we organize them we grab a group (we fit roughly 6-8 of the large, long ones in one box; 12-14 of the slightly smaller ones in one box, and nearly 30 of the tiniest ones in one box), and we find them in our spreadsheet, update info.make sure the info provided is correct, number them on the backboard, slide them into the pouch with the backboard, and then voila! Into the fancy new box they go! I don't have a decent picture of the box, but the bottom portion, one of the edges slides out which will make things SO MUCH EASIER to find. It also will keep the magazines from deteriorating even FASTER because now, when we search for an issue, we won't be touching them directly; they'll be safely enclosed, and should we need to slide them out for a class, the board will offer extra support for movement purposes :)

Look at how happy they look in their new magazine houses! 🤩🤩🤩

And there they are resting together in their new homes!!

Tomorrow we should be finishing the last boxes of Amazing Stories! The final two are these HUGE quarterly editions, were they mushed a bunch of issues together in one, and they are in VERY BAD SHAPE (see: big ass tealish greenish aquaish one in the photo above on the left). They don't fit in any of our bag sizes, so Conservation may have to make custom enclosures for them. However, the Conservator actually thought of a potential workaround that I'm gonna experiment with tomorrow to see if we can use our colibri stuff in tandem with the backings to perhaps give them a bit more support/happy homes :)

Long post is long, but this is really cool and I've been DYING to gush about it, and I know a couple of mutuals will really appreciate stuff like this!

You can follow the library on Instagram, as an aside! I don't run the insta, lmao, but the person who does is HELLA active and always sharing really cool stuff! We even have a spotlight on the Gothic Fantasy collection!

[r0semultiverse]

Do y'all think she's packing? 😳

[didderd]

🌼🥤

You should of expected me to ask the coffee question (if you don't drink coffee, tell me your go to tea :3)

🌼 What’s the last thing you said out loud?

jus. told my sister (who jus got home) that our parents left abt two hours ago and said they'd be back in 3 hours.

jus normal mundane thimngs lmao

🥤 What’s your go-to Starbucks order?

i do drink coffee, but i very rarely go to places like starbucks lmao. can't rly afford it.

but ig i'd get a decaf caramel n chocolate frappaccino?

when i make coffee at home, i get half instant decaf coffee, half milk n vanilla creamer (if we have caramel or peppermint i use that, but we usually jus have vanilla :/), n i mix swissmiss powder (abt half a pack) and a bit of extra sugar into it. :> (n if we have whipped cream ofc i'm putting that on top)

[neverchecking]

Ooh, bestie plz. That yandere time piece left me aching with the amount of need I didn't know I had

So I wanna request one more, if that's okay. Yandere Time, once again, but with a breeding kink. And please, feel free to go into explicit detail.

(May and I both personally hc that time has a breeding kink. I literally wrote a whole ass smut piece with a pregnant reader on both her page and mine about this. Same piece, links on both pages lmao)

The amount of horny I am for this man is not okay. Time can bend me over and fuck me like a bitch in heat whenever he wants

...Ahem. Sorry.

I'm gonna be yer 🧚 anon, okay?

omg-

Omg-

OMG YOUR FAIRY ANON?! THE FAIRY ANON?! After you messaged me here I went to May's page and began reading some of her stuff, and every time I came across a 🧚anon post I knew it was going to be good. I just- Drooling, kicking my feet, barking, the whole nine yards.

Anyway, I am absolutely here to please. Time could take me anywhere. There are some pieces that I write and I'm like...Should I share this or keep it to myself? And I gotta admit, that Time one was one of em. The reception to it was just so fantastic and I'm glad everyone liked it. Anyway, I got another Time request around the same time as this one and I just- lightbulb.

Also also, never be sorry Darling. I love to hear all the dirty thoughts. Really gets the writing juices flowing yk? Plus, I get my own 🧚anon? Sign me tf up.

SORRY ANYWAY-

Smut so MDNI. 18+. You asked for explicit detail, so I hope I brought it to the table!

Smut CW: Reader is a little bit of a Yandere themselves, AFAB reader, Subby! Time, breeding Kinks!

Fairy boy

It was hot.

So unbearably hot. Sweat was dripping between every curve of the body he had worked so hard to achieve, leaving behind a misty sheen as his breath fogged in front of him. The air around him was practically smothering, but he couldn't bring himself to care. No, this was a religious experience that he was blessed to experience.

Nothing could ever top this moment. Not anything he had experienced up to this point.

But oh, how willing he was to show his absolute devotion to you, his Goddess, his muse, his star given soul mate. Anything to show your saintly soul that his own was open to you. To take, to shred, to treasure, to obliterate. Anything, and it was yours. He was truly committed to your entire being.

And you knew it to. He knew you knew it from the glares you would shoot inn keepers that fluttered their lashes at him. He knew you knew it from the sharp, venom laced words you would hide behind a sweet, lace lined tone designed to make the other just wilt before you for even thinking of approaching him. He knew you knew it from the dangerous, but ever erotic, gleam in your eyes as you followed the movement of the one waitress that left her hand to linger on his shoulder for a second too long.

And was it ever anoetic.

It was like linking a chain between the two of you with every interaction making it stronger. Reinforcing it with titanium steel only to enhance it with unbreakable enchantments. It was coiled so tightly around the both of yours hearts, like a double headed viper ready to strike any other imposter daring to try and tame the other's rearing serpent. Perhaps there was something unhealthy about it all. but he couldn't find himself to care.

He couldn't even find it in himself to think.

Not when the searing trails of both his cum and your own trailed down his thighs, burning like magma wherever it touched. Not when your own form was bouncing above his own, your own skin polished with sweat as your inner walls, velvet and absolutely piquant (He would know), clung to him, pulsing and squeezing him for everything he had to offer you. Not when his neck and collarbone, littered with bites and hickeys, angled itself mindlessly to give you better access.

Everything about him was positively brainless, nothing but a useless doll for you to use and abuse should you deem it what you want.

But you wouldn't.

You would never dream of hurting him in any way, shape or form. It's what made you so exquisite. You cared for him in a way no one else previously had. Everyone else in his life either left him or was left behind, but you- you had followed him. Clung to him so tightly he had no choice but to be dragged down to whatever depths you fell through to. Not that he would ever let you fall far.

No, he couldn't imagine a life without you. Without your semi-stern glares and light scoldings whenever he gets just a little too reckless in ensuring your safety. Without your gentle hands, cradling his face as you coo at him in that soft voice of yours that he was yours, only yours, and you were his, and nothing, not even the Golden three themselves could pull the two of you apart. Without your smaller frame underneath of him, clinging to his form as he drilled into you, imprinting his every inch onto your being, absolutely ruining you for anyone else.

He knew he was. No one else would ever live up to you. You were beyond words, celestial if it could be something tangible. He knew anyone else chances were all but derelict. Not there ever was a chance for any other possibility.

"Goddess, Link-"

You never called him Time. Never. Besides nicknames, the only other moniker you called him was his name. You called the others by their titles, but not him. You once explained to him that it was because he was more than just a title to you. He was more than just a hero. He was your very reason for pushing on in the morning, for breathing, eating, simply existing in this realm.

He was more than just a title to you.

He was Link, the humble farm boy who was traumatized beyond belief. Who required delicate handling even when he didn't feel he deserved it. Who needed someone to ground him and smooth out his chipped and tattered edges.

He needed you.

Oh, he needed you badly. Even just having you here, cunt squeezing around him as you rolled your head back, hair falling back before you were leaning forward. You laid on his chest, emphasizing the heat around you both, as your forehead landed on his. Your hips never stopped moving, dragging deliciously up his shaft, leaving a milky white sheen in your wake, before slamming back down, a filthy squelch echoing out.

One of his palms, flat and heavy, raised to clap against your ass cheek, making you clench around him as your head fell forward, whimpering into his ear as something wet dripped onto his lap.

You shivered and shuddered, but, gloriously stubborn you, refused to slow even the slightest. He knew what you wanted from him, and he was more than willing to give it to you.

You wanted a baby. His baby. You wanted to carry his child, a piece of the two of you together. You wanted to be tied together for the rest of your lives. You wanted to be the mother of his children.

He could see it now. You all round and barefoot, taking care of the house while he went to work with the knights at the castle or down at the Lon ranch. You, wearing a soft pink apron, as you baked and cooked meals to last the time you would be in recovery because you both knew he was useless in the kitchen. You, who would look downright elegant, despite the strenuous act you just went through, cradling his baby. His baby that would suckle at your teat as you glowed like the angels above came down just to bless this event.

And he craved that.

With a low groan, his arms shot up to wrap around your back as his hips hammered up, pushing right against your own as he plunged in as far as physically possible. He was sure he was kissing the ring of your cervix with how far he was docked within your walls, which throbbed around him. Old loads leaked out around him, making room for the new stuff, as you cried and withered, cumming around him with a cry of his name.

He knew he would go through whatever needed to give you your desired child, and it seemed you thought the same as you sat up, chest heaving in heavy pants, staring down at him. Overstimulation racked his spine, as he was sure it did yours, but he was given a mission. A quest.

And nothing would stop him from completing his quest.

[libraryofgage]

The Prince and the Metalhead (2)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually

Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three | Four Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two | Three Harley Quinn One 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two (on the way!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz) Jedidiah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum) One Queen Clarisse Renaldi One | Two (you're here!)

I know I just posted part one but I've got Thoughts for this AU that include: Steve's first birthday in Genovia and then his 16th, his conversation with his grandmother about attending public school in America for his senior year, and then we get into him attending Hawkins High and meeting Eddie!

So, yeah, plans lmao

Anyway, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)

------

"You'll have a rotating course schedule. Mondays and Wednesdays will focus on math and social studies. Tuesdays and Thursdays will be science and literature. Friday will be Royalty lessons and the history of Genovia. We can also include an elective, if you'd like."

Steve blinks, staring at Sue for a moment before glancing at Jonathan and Robin. Jonathan is looking through a book of photography and Robin is idly scratching behind Dart’s ears. "Will we all have the same elective?" Steve asks.

"Not unless Jonathan and Robin want to join you," Sue says, looking at Steve expectantly. She's got a pen at the ready to write down what he says, and it suddenly feels like a lot of pressure.

Is there a wrong answer here? Is there an answer that gets him sent back to his parents? He looks down, biting the inside of his cheek so hard he tastes blood. Before he can lose himself in his thoughts, a cold and wet nose presses against his hand. Steve blinks, smiling at Dart and picking her up to hold close. "What kind of electives are there?" he asks.

Sue hums softly, flipping to another page on her clipboard. "Possible electives include art, music, theatrical performance, physical education, equestrian studies, botany, and foreign languages, to name a few."

"I'll be taking photography lessons," Jonathan says, looking up at Steve and gesturing to his book.

Robin nods and leans back on her palms. "I'll be doing the physical stuff. Like learning how to fight and practicing ballet to improve my balance," she says, leveling a look at Steve that dares him to say anything about the ballet.

Steve wouldn't, though. He doesn't want to make Robin angry enough to ditch him. He looks down at Dart, thinking for a moment before asking, "Can I take more than one?"

"Of course, but you're limited to three for now," Sue says.

What would be the most helpful? Foreign languages, probably, since he'll definitely have to speak with ambassadors from other countries at some point. He should also learn something that can be shown off, a skill that he could pull out at functions to make his grandmother proud or distract guests.

"What language should I learn?" he asks.

Sue thinks for a moment, tapping her pen against her chin. "Mandarin. It's a business language, and we have close relations with a few representatives from China and Hong Kong. If you'd like to learn a Romantic language first, though, Spanish is good."

"I'll learn Mandarin," Steve decides, nodding once to himself. "And music. I want to learn to play...hmm...the piano."

With a nod, Sue writes his electives down. "Let me know if you'd like to add an elective later, Your Highness. In my opinion, though, your current courses will keep you properly challenged for now."

------------------------

Sue wasn't kidding about his academics being challenging. Steve struggles in math, muddles his way through science, drags himself through literature, and is ready to drop when he hits social studies. He'd ask the tutors to spend more time on topics, but Robin and Jonathan seem to have no problem keeping up, and Steve can't bring himself to disrupt their pace.

His Mandarin lessons are going just slightly better if only because the tutor seems to recognize that slower is better for him. After almost a month, he's starting to understand intonation and vocal variation better, and he can recognize a few characters on sight.

Piano lessons are also going well. His tutor there doesn't burden him with theory; she introduces the keys, shows him how to read sheet music, and then lets him choose songs to learn. Steve feels the most at ease when he's squinting at sheet music and slowly pressing piano keys into something recognizable.

The lessons he really looks forward to, however, are the ones for his Royalty Education. He gets to see his grandmother then, and she spends the whole day with him. Even better, something about this stuff just clicks. He's good at fixing his posture and memorizing silverware placement. He bows just right on his first try and his grandmother compliments his wave.

By the end of the lesson, she'll be smiling, her pride obvious, and take him for a walk in the gardens or to eat cookies in the kitchen.

"Royalty requires maintenance," Clarisse says, standing in front of Steve with relaxed shoulders. "You maintain your demeanor, your image, your knowledge of foreign dignitaries, your understanding of the people’s needs, and your humility. But you must also maintain your pride and your boundaries."

"That sounds like a lot," Steve says, idly tugging at the hem of his shirt.

"It can be overwhelming, but it becomes second nature in time," Clarisse explains, smiling reassuringly. "When you're royalty, you are constantly watched. Many eyes are kind or curious, but others are malicious, and you want to do everything you can to disappoint the malicious ones."

"How?"

"By acting like the Crown Prince you are."

"What kind of prince am I?" Steve asks, finally voicing the question that's been lingering since these lessons started. What kind of prince does his grandmother want? What kind of prince would best serve the people? What kind of prince will be so loved by all that nobody could even think of thinking about getting rid of him?

Clarisse hums, thinking for a moment. "I suppose a good one," she says, her slight smile telling Steve that she's only lightly teasing. "My hope is that you'll be kind and competent. You will make Genovia prosperous without compromising tradition. You won't allow politics to stand in the way of doing what's right by the people of Genovia. But this is a tiring job, so I hope you'll learn how to balance your duties with relaxation."

It's a lot, but Steve can do it. He can be that kind of prince, especially for the country and grandmother that's offered everything he's ever wanted and more. He nods once. "Okay," he says, "What do I need to learn, then?"

Clarisse smiles fondly at him. "Let's start by reviewing Genovian history. Only by knowing the past can you face the future."

With that, she places a book on Steve's desk and doesn't wait for him to open it before telling him about Genovia's founding.

------------------------

Steve has weekends off from classes, which leaves him with more free time than he knows what to do with when he doesn't have to clean a house or make his own meals. So, he's bored, and telling Robin that he was bored was a huge mistake after she suggested riding bikes around the garden only to learn Steve didn't know how.

She'd insisted that he should learn, insisted that Clarisse be the one who teaches him, and insisted on hearing no objections.

And now he's here, standing in front of Clarisse's desk and staring down at his feet as she finishes writing something on the paper in front of her. Joe is standing just to her right, hands behind his back.

"Okay," Clarisse says, gently placing her pen on the desk before looking at Steve with an encouraging smile. "What did you want to ask me, Steve?"

Steve bites the inside of his cheek, takes a deep breath, and looks up. "Well, um, Robin wants to ride bikes, but I don't know how," he says.

"Well, that's easily fixed," Clarisse says, reaching for a phone at the corner of her desk. "I'm sure a member of staff is free to teach you."

Before she can pick up the phone, Steve finds himself blurting out, "Well, I...I was hoping...you could teach me."

Clarisse freezes, blinking twice with confusion before looking at Steve. "You want me to teach you?" she asks. When Steve nods once, she sighs softly. "A queen does not ride bikes. Besides, I have too much work to complete. Perhaps I could accompany you for a walk this evening to make up for it."

Despite himself, despite bracing for rejection, it still hurts. In the three months he's been in Genovia, Clarisse has agreed to just about every request he's made. Every held breath as he waits for cruel words has been released with unprecedented relief when none came. Even when he broke something---a priceless vase, according to Jonathan---his grandmother had simply surveyed the damage, thanked him for being honest, and asked him to avoid kicking soccer balls in the presence of priceless vases in the future.

Perhaps Steve has gotten too comfortable. He shouldn't be pushing like this. If he wants his grandmother's affection, he should know when to hold himself back.

So, despite the unfamiliar urge to ask again in case Clarisse might change her mind, Steve nods once. "I look forward to walking with you, Grandmother," he says, his voice quiet. He glances up, waiting long enough to see Clarisse's smile before turning on his heel and leaving the office as quickly as he can.

Clarisse watches him go, her head slightly tilted as the door closes silently behind Steve. She nods once, glad that Steve is sensible enough to understand things like work and propriety, and picks up her pen once more.

"If I may speak freely, Your Majesty?" Joe asks.

"At this point, Joe, you may as well assume the answer is yes."

"With all due respect, Your Majesty, and please pardon my French, my experience has been that assuming makes an ass out of you and me."

It takes a moment for Clarisse to understand the joke. When she does, she can't help her amused smile. "Fair enough," she says, "Go ahead, Joe."

"Do you remember what I said about being Steve's grandmother?"

"Yes, of course."

"Perhaps now is one of those moments where being a grandmother is more important than being a queen. His Highness does not ask for much, and he is not the kind to ask more than once, even if he really wants something. I imagine it took a significant amount of courage to ask you to teach him in the first place."

"Are you suggesting that I...I risk making a fool of myself for all to see?" Clarisse asks.

"I am suggesting you spend time with your grandson, who asks very little of you because he does not believe he can ask for anything."

Clarisse is silent a moment, letting Joe's words process and settle in her brain. Finally, she sighs and gestures to the papers on her desk. "I have work to complete," she says.

"Your Majesty, editing these proposals was on your schedule two weeks from now. You are ahead of your work. A break would not be unreasonable or unwarranted."

Well, when he puts it like that.

Clarisse sighs, leans back in her chair, and looks up at Joe. He's still staring at the door, giving no indication that he feels her eyes on him, but she knows he does. "Have a groundskeeper retrieve bikes and safety gear and meet us in the garden," she says, standing from her chair and bracing herself to look like an utter fool.

Her apprehension fades away fifteen minutes later. It can't hold last when she sees Steve's surprised and delighted expression at her presence. As she helps him put on knee and elbow pads, shows him how to pull the helmet's strap tight, and holds the bike steady as he sits on it, Clarisse decides a little foolishness is perfectly fine (necessary, even) if it will keep the smile on Steve's face.

------------

Tag List (let me know if you'd like to be added to future parts!)

@y4r3luv, @potato-of-the-lord,

[kingofthe-egirls]

Omg omg! I'm bombarding you with stuff, lovely. So sorry BUT!!!

I'm listening currently to two feet- love is a bi*** and my mind, I swear

Night on an Island. Lu is lost until he follows the smell to an adult Bar. Going in because of food, the anouncer say your stage name and you come out and Lu is mesmorized! Like he can't look away and approches you, and you flirt with him a little, finding him so cute and handsome 😩😩😩😩❤️❤️

if i wasn't such an introvert and didn't hate loud noises/crowds i would be a stripper lmao

STRIPPER: LUFFY x Y/N

(cw: strip club, self-harm scars, stripping/lap dance, sorta angst, stripper has a devil fruit, food)

(a/n: i have no idea if i should've used "she" or "you" so idk man lmao. also ive never been to a strip club, vis-a-vis hating crowds and loud noises, so if ive got any stripper friends out there plz feel free to correct me lmao, also tell me what stripper name u chose for y/n!)

Songs: "Starsick" by Maude Latour, "i'm too pretty for this" by Claire Rosinkranz, "Frankenstein" by Claire Rosinkranz

words: 2.4k

Luffy likes dancing.

He's pretty good at it, too.

But he's never seen anyone dance like this before.

Spinning around on a shiny metal pole, dancing with shoes on that clack together when she lands. Someone hands her money, and she reaches down to take the shiny paper bill. She tucks it into the space between her breasts, lacy bra holding other, sweaty bills.

Her face is slack.

She's scanning the crowd, eyebrows slightly furrowed together. She's not really paying attention to your movement, Luffy notices, especially as she absentmindedly spins around with her legs twisted together. Kinda like a pretzel. Luffy likes pretzels.

"Heya!"

He shouts, crowding his way to the front of the bar. He's at the foot of her stage, the little runway that leads out into the audience lit by blue fluorescents. Her skin is sweaty, and her hair is messy. Fly-aways frame her unamused face. Luffy's skin is heating up.

"Hey," she says, slipping down to kneel in front of him. Her hands trace the neckline of her bra, before sliding down to squeeze her own stomach and hips. Luffy wants to reach out and touch, but Sanji already hit him over the head while telling him the rules.

No touching.

And no spending more than two hundred berries. Luffy wants to see what lap dances are all about, since it's something Zoro and Sanji seem to agree on really liking. Would she like that?

Luffy hands her two hundred berries.

"Can I have a lap dance?" He asks, raising his eyebrows as politely as he can. She gestures to the seating around the the side of the dance floor. It's all vinyl and blue lights with shiny poles in the middle.

"Over there?" She asks, lowering herself to her elbows in front of him. Now her face is below him, and her lace-covered ass is in the air. Luffy thinks she's wearing blue, but with all the disco lights it's hard to tell. Sometimes the lingerie looks purple. He tilts his head.

"Do you have private rooms?"

Sanji had mentioned that's what he's gonna do, so Luffy decides that it's probably good enough for him, too. He's never been to a strip club before. Seems okay, so far.

"I can take you to a VIP booth," she says, swinging her legs over the side of the stage. Someone else is spinning around the shiny pole, now. She's wearing stringy underwear and a sports bra. Luffy helps his stripper down off the stage, supporting her arm as she slides delicately to the floor. It's sticky with spilled drinks.

"This way," she says, her voice airy and disinterested. Her lingerie is definitely violet, now. Luffy follows her like a dog would, tagging along at her heels as she leads him to the back room.

"What's your name?" He asks, the scent of jasmine perfume and sweat wafting off of her. He sniffs his own shoulder, wondering what he smells like to her.

"Y/N."

"That's pretty!" Luffy hops along behind her, scooting into the velvet-lined booth as she opens the door for him. It's small, with tufted black seating and another shiny pole in the middle. There's a mirror on one wall. The others are lined in sparkly gold wallpaper.

She starts circling the pole, leaning away from it as she holds it in one hand. Her legs are crossed.

"So," she starts, deadpan, "Since you gave me two hundred already, I can strip and do a buck show for you. Wanna see me naked?" She arches an eyebrow, but her voice doesn't change. Luffy shakes his head.

"Eh, it's okay. Unless you wanna! But I kinda wanted a lap dance?" Luffy is getting a little impatient, watching her spin lazily around the pole with her feet still on the ground. She looks like she's on the swings on a playground--Luffy kinda wants to try. (Next time).

"Lap dances are cool too," she says, striding over to him nonchalantly to kneel between his legs. Luffy stutters a little, not used to having someone so close to his crotch before. She stares at his lap, openly.

"You've paid me a lot, though. So," she shrugs, sliding her hands up his shins to the frayed ends of his denim shorts. Her fingertips play with the fuzzy fabric. Luffy stares at her hands as they move up his legs and over his thighs. She smiles, a small, polite thing, as she says, "I wanted to make sure you felt satisfied, hah."

Luffy shrugs.

"I've never gotten one before! And Sanji says it's really cool, so..." He trails off, fidgety under your slight touches, "I wanna see what all the fuss is about." He pouts a little, unsure if he's made the right choice.

Luffy's not sure what to do.

His hands steady themselves into fists at his hips. The stripper is sparkling a little, he can see in the overhead lights. She's got glitter on her skin, or something--like Nami’s makeup collection.

I'm so sick of all these pretty boys

tryna act like the shit

The stripper slowly slides into Luffy's lap, and his breath hitches in his throat. He's kissed people before, yeah, but...it's never been quite like this. This, so obviously sexual and endearing.

She slowly grinds her hips onto his, as her fingers start to card through his hair. "Pretty," she says, voice slightly scratchy as she speaks. The music is muffled through the speakers; she stands, turning away from him. Her ass is curvy and round, with slight cellulite at the junction where it folds over the backs of her thighs.

And I wish they wouldn't fall in love

then leave me so quick

She swivels her hips, standing a few feet in front of Luffy. His hands clench in and out of fists, as his body starts to react to what he's seeing. She's gorgeous, there's no denying that, although Luffy's more interested in the aura of disinterest and heartbreak that's roiling beneath her skin. He can almost see her energy, crackling at the edges of her silhouette. It's ultraviolet--sorta pastel blue.

He watches the dancer turn around in front of him, as she slowly lowers down, her hand sliding down her own shimmering leg. She straightens, slotting her knee in between Luffy's thighs. He clenches, suddenly extremely aware of her scent. It's jasmine: sweet.

The song swells a bit, as the chorus starts.

I guess I gotta build my Frankenstein

Draw the picture, color all the lines

She smiles, sliding onto Luffy's lap. She stands above him, space left between them for her to slowly sway her hips side to side. She's supporting herself with one hand held onto the headrest of the black velvet lounge. Her chest is in his face, and he tries not to stare too hard at the gap between her breasts and her bra. She smirks.

His face is red; he knows it.

Sanji wasn't exaggerating at all.

"You can touch me," she whispers, dragging her fingers up Luffy's cheek to rest her palm against the side of his face. She sits down now fully on his legs, her supple weight spilling over his body.

Luffy's hands go to her waist, since that seems the safest place for them to settle. She snickers, and leans forward to start mouthing along his jawline. She's searing heat into his skin.

He makes me laugh; never on my nerves

Gets along with my dad

She switches, so now her back is facing him. She still supports herself on the back of the chair, but now she's swaying her hips up and down, snakelike as she slowly thrusts into the air above him.

I've been searching, don't think it's out there

Oh, so loyal, makes me feel spoiled

Then she's sitting down on him, her ass pressed right up against his crotch. She leans forward, hands on her knees, as she shakes it for him. Luffy snickers a little, letting his hands trail over her ass.

He's my daydream, never a nightmare

Every little thing that I want

"Who was he?" Luffy asks, throat scratchy. She stops, stillness overtaking her frame. He scratches at the tops of her thighs.

"Scuse me?"

She asks, vitriol lining every syllable.

Luffy swallows. "The dude who broke your heart?"

Was he not clear enough?

The heartbreak spilling from her soul is suffocating to him; it fills the room like half-purple steam. The song still plays, undercutting the sound of her breaths quickening in her chest.

"Wh-what shit are you tryna pull?" She straightens, spinning around to face him with her hands on her hips. She pops her weight to one side, glaring down at him with ice in her veins. Her energy sizzles, and Luffy guesses that if she had control of her conqueror's haki, then lightning would be striking through the small room.

She has a cute nose.

Luffy shifts, sitting up fully. He swallows, tongue like sandpaper, as he tries to explain himself. "I--sorry, I--," he stutters and stops, then shakes his head. "I didn't mean ta scare ya..."

She raises an eyebrow, a subtle threat underlining her careful expression. Her heartbeat is wild, sending shockwaves through the purple energy pulsing around her. Luffy stands, straightening his shorts. He holds up his hands in surrender.

"Sorry, I--," he starts again, "I see like, um...soul stuff. I guess?" He's not sure how to explain haki to a non-user. (Although he can tell she has observation haki, however subconsciously or not).

"So?"

She stares at him with the eyes of a boa constrictor.

"So...sorry, um. I was just tryna--relate to ya, I guess?" He scratches the back of his head, a rare flush of embarrassment shooting through his cheeks and down his spine. He swallows.

She puffs out a sigh, and goes to lean against the pole.

"My dad," she says, staring at a spot on the floor next to Luffy's feet. She scuffs the sparkly floor with the toe of her stripper heels.

"S'okay," Luffy shrugs, scratching at his own arm, "I won't judge ya."

She sniffs, twisting her lips to one side. "He—left."

"So did mine," he offers, sorta lamely. She smiles, the first twitch of her lips that Luffy's believed all night. He's glad he said hi to her.

"Sorry for asking," he says, thumbing at his nose. He's never felt this...awkward before. She shrugs.

"S'okay," she echoes him, smiling slightly. Her eyes are sparkly, in the lights. She's wearing blue eyeshadow, with silver lines around her lashes. Sometimes Luffy watches Nami do her makeup, standing over her shoulder and making funny faces in the mirror. Luffy stretches his own cheek out, slapping it back against his face in an effort to make his stripper laugh. She stills, eyes wide, before she quirks up a smile.

"Power user?" she asks, grinning. Luffy nods, squeezing his eyes shut in pride like he always does. She snorts, and hooks an elbow around the pole. She spins slowly around it, lifting her feet off the ground.

She sprouts wings.

"Same!" She chirps happily, feathery wings flapping slightly. They're blue and turquoise, with sunshine-colored insides, like a parrot's. "Parrot-parrot fruit," she says, smirking in her own shining pride.

"SO COOL!!!"

Luffy lunges forward, sifting his fingers through the soft feathers. She gasps, but doesn't stop him. She stretches out her wings.

****

She ends up sitting on the black velvet chaise with him, sipping her ginger drink she'd gotten someone to fetch for her from the bar. She's smiling in earnest now, her wings stretched out and proud behind her. She's a lot prettier with wings.

"Okay, okay," she's saying, smirking into her fizzy drink, "So I was twelve, and I was scrounging around in the jungle for something to eat--,"

"Oh, me too!!" Luffy says, sitting up in his seat, "I was raised in a jungle too!!"

She snickers, covering her face with one feathered hand. "So dangerous," she says, and Luffy shrugs. He's used to danger. (Is that what the D stands for?) He's not sure.

"So, anyway," she sips from her frosted copper mug, "Super hungry, super lost, thirsty as all shit--and I stumble across this stupid fruit. It's green, all swirly, sorta like a kiwi? Like the inside of it," she swallows, and Luffy sneaks his fingers into her drink. She scoffs, surprised, but she lets him swipe the lime wedge anyway.

"And ya ate it?"

"Mhmm," she nods, wings folded behind her as she speaks, "Tasted like shit--,"

"Mine too! It was purple though."

She smiles, "And there ya go! Sprouted wings and found out I could shift shapes, now. Sorta really cool, actually...," she trails off, eyes sliding to the side. Luffy pokes her cheek.

"Ya can fly, right?!"

"Mhmm, but not for very long."

"So cool," Luffy says again, relaxing back into his seat. His fingers circle his big toes, as he rocks back and forth. He's hungry.

"Can we get snacks?"

She stares at him for a second, but then shrugs. "Sure," she smirks, "My shift's over, anyway. Wanna steal something from the back?"

Luffy's chest soars.

She stands, extending her hand to him. He takes it, and follows along behind her as she leads him out of the club and back in through a back door. She doesn't mind walking around the streets and alleyway in her heels and lingerie, which Luffy likes. She looks comfy, like that. She leaves her wings out too, which Luffy likes even more.

She sneaks into the fridge, opening it to survey its contents. "Salami?" She asks, holding out a log of spiced meat. Luffy thinks he knows what falling in love feels like, all of a sudden.

He licks his lips.

"Sure," he sounds a little hungrier than he means to, but she hands him the whole thing anyway. She reaches back in to pull out a wedge of cheese for herself.

"Let's go eat," she leads him back through the alleyway and down the street. She's got her duffel bag over her shoulder, having run into the dressing room to grab her things. She's wearing a hoodie over her sparkly lingerie, but the sleeves are too long since she's wearing it under her wings. It drapes over her elbows as she walks.

Sanji's gonna be so jealous.

Luffy is giddy as he follows her down the street. She chews her bites of cheese slowly, whereas Luffy has already inhaled his meat. She turns to him, suddenly.

“Wanna stay over at my place?”

Luffy grins.

“Sure!”

[leftthisaccountlmaoooo]

LUFFY, SANJI AND USOPP X MALE/GN READER

girls dni plz !!

type ~ a few crush hcs! all fluff prety much

warnings ~ some swearing thats rlly it tho, most of my stuff has swaring anyway. ALSO like most of my stuff, y/n is intended to b a guy but there isnt too much stuff related to that so u can read as gn

note ~ i wrote the original of this at like 11 pm so some stuff might seem weird but my friend whos much farther in op checked it for me and said most of it is accurat >:3

MONKEY D LUFFY

+ hes soooo clingy but its super adorable !!!! loves t hug you allll the time and is sad when he cant!! its comforting for him tho and makes him hapy!!

+ shares his food with you oh mah gawd?!?!? everyone thinks he was kidnapped and/or replaced by an evil clone of himself but they realize he just loves you lmao-

+ he holds your hand a loooootttt without realizing he does. if and whn you ention it, he would be confused why you would and keeps doing it anywyas

+ jumps on you a lot without thinking anything of it- lmao- doesnt realize how much it hurts you and apologizes afterwards

VINSMOKE SANJI

+ agghhh sanji would be so sweetttt >< would do anything you ask from him with absolutely no questions asked !!

+ cooks whatever you want whenevr you want. even if its in the middle of the night , h wouldnt care if h got woken up if it meant he could mak you happy !! would have to stop luffy from eatin gyour food

+ would actually act normal about his crush on you, despite popular belief. its just more genuine and seems like he really loves you because he does!!!!! ><

+ i think sanji would be good at writing poems and would wrte a lot of them about you. shows most of them to you but he has a few that he keeps private. do with that whatever you see fits lol

+ lovs to just touch you at all really. anything phyical is nice for him if its what youre okay with!!! holding hands, hugs, whatever you want he does it

USOPP

+ likes to doodle on your hands and arms because he finds it relaxing+fun ! if you want him to put something specific on you he will ! all you need to do is ask about it, same goes for if you dont want him to doodle on you <3

+ he ither completely avoids you or constantly follows you around wherever you go. i feel like both could be a possibility lmfao

+ horrible at flirting o,o says stuff like "hey boy, are you a boy? cuz you look like a boy" and "man its really hot in here" whn its literally in the negatives. hes trying really but just doesnt know the right things to say

+ a bit relatd to the last one, but hes scared to b affectionate at all in any way or form- wants to, but just doesnt have the confidence to do it :((

[strange-nd-creature]

plz help the birdkin (me)

It’s almost Christmas and people are asking me what I want them to buy me.

I need ideas for Bird Therian Stuff™️ that nobody will notice.

Specifically I’m a black-capped chickadee, bluebird, and sandpiper.

I don’t know why I’m behaving so strangely right now, so I apologize if this post seems like it was written by a third grader lmao

@cheesecake-the-chicken is the only bird therian I’ve ever interacted with here so I’ll just tag him here in case he’s got any advice

[zaptrap]

About Meee:

I'm a man of many names... Zaptrap (you are here), @serpyra (artblog), prpldragon (old username)... You can call me whatever tho idc lmao

She/Her, Almost 30 lmao....

Huge fan of angst and misery

Been into Ninjago since....2012 lol.... (with a hiatus in the middle) Jay & Cole are my favs.

Bruiseshipping is my jam, bread AND butter, but I like a lot of ships lmao (Ship Chart here)

I draw/reblog bloody/edgy stuff sometimes so beware!

I don't tag leaks/spoilers very consistently ;w;

I make original comics! Vindicaris is my main thing rn (@vindicaris)

A-Okay:

Tagging my art as ships even if it wasn't the intention lol

Dropping random asks to chat about ninjago n art or w/e

Talking to me about angst... characters in pain and misery... the good shit... (plz)

Being a silly lil creature >:3

Not Okay:

Being a mean lil thing :(

Tag List:

# My Art - my art!!

# Old Art - my art!!.....from like 10 years ago lmfao

# My OCs - my ocs/fan charas!!

# Talking - me talking about random shit!!

# Asks - me responding to asks!! (also # ask cuz im dumb lmao)

# Blood - blood and gore :3

[killersbasement]

random romantic slasher headcanons

i'm basically just writing this out of boredom i haven't posted my writing in several years plz forgive me (also i'm still getting used to writing for the slashy boys so GOD FORGIVE ME if i get them wrong)

characters included : micheal myers, jason voorhees, "bubba" sawyer, thomas hewitt, brahms heelshire, billy lenz

warnings : none

micheal myers

very stoic, and also quite bad at showing affection

its kind of difficult for him to show love/be vulnerable since he's not used it so plz be patient with him

once he gets more comfortable with you being around he might get better at being affectionate towards you and showing his appreciation

in the beginning though he definitely makes it tough for you to be patient LMAO

i swear he's trying but you're gonna have to initiate most things

jason voorhees

also pretty stoic, but more out of shyness than anything

he wants to show affection, he really does, but he's nervous and not sure what he's doing and you're gonna have to initiate stuff with him a lot too

after a while he gets more comfortable with what he's doing and will start initiating things with you so you don't have to

but gets pretty nervous when you try to start new things (especially of the promiscuous sort) so ease him into stuff

overall a very decent boyfriend! he's definitely trying and will protect you as best he can

bubba sawyer

despite, yk, he's actually quite the gentle soul

you're surprised to find out he's very considerate!

you'd think he's just like a crazed chainsaw wielding madman but come to find out he's actually quite quiet and reserved, especially compared to his family (still pretty crazed though not gonna lie)

is, in many ways, a large teddy bear

also he's gonna treat you like his small teddy bear, so the feeling is mutual

like many of the slashers, takes a bit to come out of his shell but once he does he is very affectionate

also his brothers are gonna be all over you, not in a romantic way but they're gonna ask you a lot of questions

thomas hewitt

despite looking, in every sense of the word, intimidating, he is also a sweetheart at the core!

and similar to bubba his family is gonna accept you as one of their own almost immediately

if anyone threatens, bullies, or otherwise mistreats you they're gonna have a rough go of things

latches onto you when you start being affectionate towards him, not his fault he's kinda touch-starved (and just affection starved in general)

also pretty tense at the beginning because he's scared of messing something up and scaring you off but if you reassure him enough he'll start getting more comfortable

brahms heelshire

my guy is SO TOUCH-STARVED it's not even funny

god forbid you accept him once he comes out of the walls cuz he's gonna be all over you

in a perfect world you spend all day every day just holding him

unfortunately, he does have to accept you both have things to do

he's gonna loosen up on the schedule a little bit to allow more time for you guys to spend together, just laying in bed or on the couch

sometimes will hide the doll in the walls so that you have to pay more attention to real brahms

besides, what does a chunk of porcelain have that he doesn't?

don't expect to be leaving the house anytime soon btw

billy lenz

similarly, extremely touch-starved

and since he doesn't have a schedule and spends basically his entire day in a dark attic, he doesn't see a problem with just sitting in bed with you 24/7

you're gonna have to pry him off you cuz his grip is like iron

will eventually relent on his own if you promise you'll cook something for him

will occasionally bring you random stuff he finds in the attic as if it's brand new, though sometimes he finds some interesting stuff up there you forgot about

likes staying in your room but will go back up to his attic if he's feeling especially vulnerable or upset

[safyresky]

Hello, it me!

I'm dropping in to DEMAND CONTENT!!

Put the Content In the bag!!

I've come here requesting Diteline stuff! Specifically bed sharing/sleep habits. Domestic ass married Diteline stuff!

I've had such ideas pin balling around in my head for my own terrible gays (that I hope to post about at some point) and then I remembered that you have your own far less terrible gays!

Just tiny little bed sharing things and sleep habits have been on my MIND. Was hoping you could fuel the fire here 😈

Funny you should mention content lmao, I've been feeling the last little while that I have been VERY quiet and have had the need to POST CONTENT, BUT HAVE HAD NO CONTENT!! I WILL HAPPILY FUEL THIS FIRE BC I DO HAVE SOME THOUGHTS ON THIS SUBJECT IN PARTICULAR!!

Not a lot, BUT SOME

Mkay. So. Diteline sleep habits!!

Idk if gods NEED sleep?? It's either way in most mythologies, if it's specified (and if you're Hypnos god OF sleep lol). I think Dite can sleep but also can do without?? I'm on the fence about that tbh! Part of me thinks maybe she's like dnd elves and just needs a brief rest for four hours to function. Again, on the fence! SO. THAT BEING SAID. HERE'S SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT DITELINE SLEEPS:

Dite either sleeps on her belly or on her sides! Otherwise her wings get agitated if they don't have space to furl

I think they idle animate if/when she sleeps, lol. They'll occasionally swish or twitch, like a horse tail or cat ear or smth

Jacqueline is a side sleeper and she curls UP. When she's sleeping with Dite she is ALWAYS the little spoon and like, BURROWS into her side if she's facing her

Jacqueline also sleeps with many blankets; she makes herself colder on purpose to sleep cozier with more blankets 🤣🤣

Jacqueline is your friend who sleeps with the window open ALWAYS. She got that from me and I am not ashamed to admit it bc the BEST sleeps are when it's FREEZING COLD but you're bundled in blankets and NOT overheating about it :3

Dite doesn't mind the chill much at all bc Jacquie's already frozen the bed (figuratively), and she can regulate temperature easily enough so she's chill with the blanket fort bed

And she runs warm ANYWAY. It's bc she's partially made of love. Keeps her WARM.

Especially since her preferred way to sleep with Jacqueline is facing her and hugging her nice and close

Which is v easy bc that sprite can make herself SUCH a tiny lil ball

Her wings also tend to hug Jacqueline too when they sleep!! No matter what, when they're cuddling or sleeping, Dite always has at least one arm and one wing draped over Jacqueline

Jacqueline has the blankets right up to her neck; Dite likes to stick her arms out

This causes problems SOMETIMES. Not always, tho! They make it work :)

Jacqueline is a sometimes snor-er and Dite thinks her snores are cute

She may be biased

Sometimes when she's deep asleep Dite glows a bit, and Jacqueline is like awed by it 🤣🤣

Dite doesn't snore, I don't think!

If Jacqueline is awake and Dite isn't, Jacquie tends to trace Dite's facial features (nose, bridge of said nose, eyebrows) until she peeks open a sleepy eye :3

Jacqueline is very annoying when she is bored and one of these occasions involves Dite being asleep while she's awake

This stops being a problem when they have kids as one of those three gremlins is always awake!

Dite is an early riser! Jacqueline likes to lounge in bed. We call it the "coze and doze". You're awake, and cozy, but still dozing in bed. This is one of her favourite things to do with Dite!

She gets very pouty if she gets pulled out of bed before cozing and dozing to her heart's content :)

They get a King sized bed bc all three kids like to cuddle puddle/jump on them and Dite's wings can be very persnickety, so it's the best for all parties involved lol

Here is a lil' snippet from what I HOPE to be this coming year's Valentine's Day post for you all! It's called "Bedtime Stories" and here's the opening, bc it has some v good Diteline bed related fluff >:)

The alarm didn’t even get a chance to chirp before a feathery wing unfurled, whacking it right off the side table and into the wall.

The one note it had started to belt was cut as the clock hit the wall and fell to the floor with a crack, just a little bit broken.

“Whoops,” Donnie said, sitting upright. Both wings unfurled, stretching out behind her. Biting back a grin, she waved her arm, the clock reassembling and popping right back up to the bedside table, the lampshade only jostling a little bit. Letting out an honest to god(dess) teehee, she flew off the bed and right into the ensuite, the blankets lifting up a good few inches.

They fluttered briefly, before a pale hand snatched them back down with a grumble.

“What are you doinggggggggg,” the pale hand pantomimed, the only body part peeking out from the blanket.

“Getting ready for work!” Donnie said excitedly, giggling as the hand puppet drooped, its thumb just askew enough to give the impression of a disgruntled Muppet’s face. “It’s the BEST day of the year, after all!”

Dressed in her Cupid’s best, Donnie flew back to the bed, grabbing the hand puppet and pulling the rest of her wife out from the blankets. She did a little meep as she was pulled out, her hair half thawed until Donnie wrapped her up in a big, tight, squishy, winged hug, kissing her right on the lips. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Jacqueline!”

The sprite flushed, the rest of the snow in her hair practically evaporating. Donnie giggled.

“And you’re up this early?”

“Of course! There’s love to spread!”

“Right here in this bed,” the sprite said. Throwing all her weight at the goddess, Jacqueline managed to pin her wife back down on the mattress, latching onto her like a koala and nuzzling into her neck.

Donnie laughed, flushed. “Jacqueline,” she chided gently.

The sprite grumbled, latching on to her tighter. “Blankets,” she said, and the sheet and comforter slid right back up the bed, tucking the pair in.

Donnie laughed. “Sweetheart. I’ve gotta work today!”

“Play hooky! I’m off all day and it’s so so cold outside. And it’s only gonna get colder, you know. I have it on good authority.”

“You’d really abuse your power to make it colder to try and stay here with me all day?”

“DUH,” Jacqueline said, pecking Donnie’s chin. “The bed’s gonna get cold the moment you leave and how else am I supposed to be warm and snuggly on this snowy ol’ Valentine’s?!” Jacqueline peeked up, making sure Donnie could see her huge pout.

Donnie laughed. “The sooner I go, the sooner I can come home and snuggle you all day,” she said, kissing her forehead. Her face dropped down, nose to nose with Jacqueline, foreheads touching as she gazed into her sleepy blue eyes. “And all night,” she said, low and breathy, making sure to blow air right towards Jacqueline’s neck.

She made a little choke sound and flushed darker. Her grip loosened; with a grin, Donnie took the opportunity to roll over, pinning Jacqueline down now.

The sprite blinked up, flustered. “Oh dear,” she said.

Donnie laughed, kissing her full on the lips one long-lasting time before gently breaking it off. “Think that will hold you over? Keep you nice and toasty?”

“So toasty,” she replied, recovered. Well, mostly. But Donnie knew her wife very well, and could tell she was about half an octave higher than she normally was. She laughed, sliding off of the bed and straightening her chiton, righting the laurel that had been passed down to her and rolling her shoulders.

“How do I look?”

“Stunning, jaw-dropping, gorgeous—ready to kick ass, even,” Jacqueline replied.

“Oh, stop it,” she said, playfully waving a hand.

“Never,” Jacqueline replied, her head hitting the pillow again. “Check on the kids on your way out? Bianca was still awake when I got in.”

“Still?!”

“One more chapter, she said. You know. Like a liar,” Jacqueline said, snuggling into the covers. “Oh, boo. It’s already cold.”

Donnie laughed, clipping her bracelet on her wrist. “It’ll warm up,” she said, leaving the room, keeping the door slightly ajar.

[this-is-krikkit]

Hii! If you're taking prompts then can you plz do some levihan on this:

'I've been born in the wrong timeline and the wrong gender!'

'And you realized that after sixteen years?'

hello! you're the first anon i don't feel i have to apologize to for taking too long to reply to a prompt lmao, hope you'll enjoy this!

of swords and crushes (1.4k words)

tags: levihan, modern AU (coffee shop AU if you squint), game of thrones references but you don't need to be a big fan to get em, GOT-typical violence mentioned

divider source

“I’m telling you, I was born in the wrong timeline and the wrong sex!” Hange exclaims, trading their branded apron for their civilian coat and giving a last minute check to the coffee shop for any obvious task they might have forgotten.

Levi clicks his tongue at them, not for the first time that day, and gestures for them to leave out the front door with him.

“And you only realized that after sixteen years, while watching a blockbuster series about sword fights and magic?”

“Yes! No? I don’t know, I just know I want to be a knight!” they whine, using the tone they know their coworker can hardly stand.

“You want to be a knight, or you want to do one of them?”

“Levi! How dare you put your dirty thoughts into my pure and innocent mind!”

“I may not watch that shit show myself, shitty glasses, but I’ve seen enough screen caps and memes to know no one innocent watches it. Not with those casting choices anyway.”

Hange’s glasses reflect the setting sun and hide their eyes even as they grin devilishly at him, and he groans at his own slip up.

“Oh, you’ve seen enough screen caps to have an opinion then? Tell me, which one strikes your fancy, Neat Freak? The sadist bastard who tortures people into becoming his slaves, or the annoyingly rich golden boy who had three kids with his own sister?”

He just stares at them for a minute, then shakes his head as he locks the front door.

“I swear this show gets worse every time I hear about it,” he mumbles under his breath. “Either way, the one I like best has green eyes, and I think his father was in Lord of The Rings or something?”

“Oh… You mean, Robb Stark?”

Levi glares their way, because how the fuck would he know, again? But Hange, as always immune to his stink eye, just pulls their phone out and hands it over after a quick search.

“Here, is that him? Oh my God, you’re blushing, it’s totally him!” they squeal before Levi can even confirm it with words.

“Shut up and help me pull this down,” he requests, gesturing to the iron shutter they have to secure before leaving. “He is cute,” he still feels the need to argue defensively as Hange complies.

They chuckle and bump their shoulder to his when they squat down to help him with the heavy padlock that secures the system in place.

“He is,” they agree with a reassuring smile, before letting a sigh out. “Shame that he dies in season three though.”

“What? I thought he was, like, the main character!”

“Well, he is, until, you know... he gets his throat slit at his cousin’s wedding, right after he sees his pregnant wife getting stabbed straight into her belly.”

Levi picks up his jaw from the floor and turns to face his coworker, waiting to see if there’s any chance they could be trying to pull one on him —they don’t usually have a strong enough poker face to actually trick him, but they’ve surprised him before in the year they’ve been sharing shifts on this shitty part time job.

“She dies too, of course! Along with everyone who was with them then,” Hange adds right away, like that’s somehow reassuring.

“Why the fuck do you watch this shit, Four Eyes?” he asks, genuinely confused about it all.

“Ah, sorry, I know you’re weird about this stuff. We can talk about something else if you want,” they offer with a sheepish smile, scratching the back of their neck in discomfort.

“I’m not weird about it,” Levi corrects, dismissing their concern with a wave of his hand, “and it’s fine to discuss. I just don’t like violence for the sake of violence, or for shock value. Feels lazy to me.”

“That’s not all there is to it!”

He gives them a pointed glance, and Hange has the decency to blush a little.

“Okay, it’s probably a big part of it… But the plot does justify it most of the time so far, and some characters are really interesting and fun to try to figure out, I think you’d enjoy it! Besides, the fighting scenes are so badass, Levi!”

They launch into a mock choreography of what he can only assume is one of those scenes, and Levi doesn’t bother holding back a chuckle as he walks alongside them. He ignores the puzzled looks from people who pass them by, throwing a glare or two whenever someone dares to stare for too long with judging eyes.

“How do you have so much energy after the shift you just pulled on top of a day in class, for fuck's sake? I really feel like I’m the older one here sometimes.”

And alright, Levi does have another, early and demanding job to go to while other kids his age are in school, which might explain his own state of tiredness. But Hange truly is something else, stamina-wise.

“That’s because you’re an old soul, Levi, whereas I’m brand new and enthusiastic about what the world has to offer! And about swords!”

“Yeah, right. Why don’t you sign up to fencing lessons and get it out of your system for good?”

“Sure, let me give up this side job I only took for the fun of it, ask my imaginary butler to fetch my thousand dollars allowance from my billionaire parents and I’ll do just that!”

He bites the inside of his cheek to prevent his smile from stretching too wide, even though he knows Hange will be able to tell they got him with that one anyway.

“Point taken,” he gives in.

The walk back to their subway station is silent, a little less comfortable than usual when they’re both painfully aware that Hange’s now thinking about their own financial issues —the unfortunate reason they even took this job and met Levi in the first place.

He looks around the industrial neighborhood they’re walking, and spots two long rusty metal pipes hanging out from a bin nearby. In a fit of renewed energy he didn’t suspect he could have, he rushes over there, grabs them —heavier than they look, but he knows they can both handle it— and throws one at Hange’s feet.

“Here you go, Sir Hange Zoë,” he declares, feeling absolutely ridiculous as he stands in what he hopes looks like a sword fighting position —he sure hopes Hange will give him a break, it’s not like he has a wide frame of reference for this. “Fight me.”

They chortle, the sound immediately brightening the mood —and Levi’s day.

“You don’t have to do this, Levi. You were right, it’s kind of childish.”

He frowns and charges, hitting their shin lightly with his shabby weapon. Hange’s eyebrows shoot up on their forehead, and he can tell they’re slowly giving in.

“Levi! You can’t attack a defenseless maiden, that’s not gentleman-y at all!”

“You’re not a maiden, dumbass. And who said I’m a gentleman?”

Next time he lunges, they block the blow thanks to their own pipe and send him stumbling back —with a force that would surprise anyone else considering how lanky they look in their baggy clothes, and a fire in their eyes that would no doubt freak them out too. Levi, however, has known for months now that the tall nerdy weirdo look is only a mask hiding a fierce, passionate kid who might just be the strongest person he’s ever met —in more ways than one.

Sadly, they’re also much more —how did they put it again? Oh, right— enthusiastic about the whole fighting thing than he’d foreseen, and he soon finds himself having an actual hard time holding them off. One of their well placed hits shatters the pipe he was holding in his hold, and he thanks his lucky star that the combat has to end as he puts both hands up.

“Alright, I yield! You’re right, Four Eyes, you would have made a great knight.”

“Thank you!” they reply with a wink and a graceless curtsy.

Hange throws their pipe back into the trash can, before holding out their hand to ask for the some of the hand gel Levi’s already rubbing on his palms. He throws them a disapproving look, more for show than anything else, and gives them some —really, he’s kind of excited that they’re finally getting some of his neat freak habits, as they always call them.

“So, I won, right?” they ask him when they start walking again.

“Tch, I guess you did,” he grants them, not up to point out how questionable that statement is when really, breaking your opponent’s weapon has to be against the rules, right?

“Then my prize is... that you have to watch the next season with me!”

He spends the rest of the walk and the three subway stations they share trying to get out of that commitment.

(He fails.)

[padawansuggest]

Consider

Obi-Wan 7yo, wakes up from naptime in the creche after a Very Important Vision

Immediately skips bail to go out into the temple proper, following whispers of the force (more like cackling lmao) till he gets to a training salle

Training salle is occupied by 15-18yo padawans in the middle of practice, one of which being Kelleran Beq, The Sabered Hand, who is a cheerful teen who wants to be a creche master after he’s knighted

Of course an unaccompanied initiate in the salles is always a cause for concern, so Kelleran comes over to coax the boy into telling him why he’s wandered off

Obi: I’m going with you next month when you go to the production studios for your first filming of the Jedi Temple Challenge

Is questioned on if his creche master just told him that??

Nah he saw it in a dream

Cool cool cool Kelleran LOVES the possessed ones, they’re so cute

Asks kiddo why he thinks he’s going with

Cause Obi-Wan needs an escort to audition for the next season of Sesame System, a show that teaches children and reduces the galaxy’s gap of learning between the poor and the rich, so he can teach the galaxy about what it’s like to be a Jedi!

Okay okay that’s chill lil buddy, Kelleran will be in the production studio anyways cause they’re in the same place

Turns out the REAL Jedi Temple Challenge was the 10 under 10s Kelleran got to help wrangle along the way

Not fully sure where this is going other than Jango Fett (only 3 years older here and not 6) ending up on the same season of Sesame System only for him and Jaster (who’s also got the exact same goals of endearing the public to Mandalorians and is using the show to help point out the Mandalorian kids shows the galaxy can show their kids too, while Obi is pointing at Jedi Temple Challenge) to immediately decide that’s a prime little buddy and now they wanna keep him

The temple settles on a middle ground of letting them babysit Obi sometimes by sticking him in Mando production studios

Kelleran is very worried about baby getting kidnapped by the prince of Mandalore but accepts that Obi also really likes the prince they’re vode now

I. Fucking. Love. Childrens early educational shows and stuff like that. And I want to write an entire series about the shows the Jedi and Mandos could put out to endear themselves to the galaxy and it’s basically propaganda but not bad because the Sith could never get a foothold because Jedi are just sweet little guys with god powers what’s not to love lol

And then the ideas combined in my head when this last Mando episode reminded me of Jedi Temple Challenge (I never actually watched it but I did overall hear about it when it aired) and I decided Kelleran needs to make my dumb ideas a reality.

Obi’s master is a Jedi who’s been doing acting their whole life too but it can’t be Mace because Mace is a theater kid and not a kids show kid he needs a less theatric and more educational master 😔

Ani ends up being on a couple seasons of Sesame System (I specifically chose this as a parody idea because I have BEYOND respect for Sesame Street and I truly believe in the power of kindness and friendship the show likes to give us) when Obi-Wan first finds him and Ani is really nervous at first but they let him rant about sand on the show so they’re chill now

Qui-Gon is not Obi’s master but he DID get wrangled into taking Kelleran and the kids to the studio (it’s in fairly neutral area on a station, but around a planet for outdoor scenes because it’s just easier for legal reasons) and that led to them missing the Telos mission and Xanatos got therapy instead and Qui-Gon isn’t an asshole cause he’s still got his kids

Shmi works on the production station

More kids shows in fantasy and sci-fi settings plz.

[astraystayyh]

SOFT SKZ THOUGHTS??? It’s my time to RISE

(I’m currently suffering from period cramps this is just me being self indulgent)

Chan would be soo sweet like extra sweet to u on ur period making sure ur stocked up on everything from products to medicine etc etc. Knows exactly what u need without even having to ask for it and he’ll get anything else u find urself needing

Minho would cook literally anything ur craving without compliant and it would be so delicious and hit every spot. Doesn’t matter how complicated or simple it is he’s LEARNING it and he’s making it perfectly and it’s delicious.

👏Chang👏Bin👏cuddles👏would👏solve👏every👏issue👏I👏have👏rn👏 bonus points cuz he’s so soft and warm all the time like he would be the perfect nap buddy to sleep the cramps away. He’s the perfect heating pad (but would also get u an actual heating pad if ur cramps r that bad aka me every period)

JINNIEEEEEEEE I lowkey feel Hyunjin would just do whatever he can cuz he hates seeing u in pain and wants to take it away 😭 mans probably giving u head massages if u have a headache or massages anywhere u have pain. Running a hot bath with candles and flowers and all that romancey stuff to make u feel calm

Jisung’s trying to make u laugh and relaxeddd. I can see him making a pillow fort with lots of blankets and hot chocolate and just curling up with him and playing video games or watching howl’s moving castle (ur making me wanna watch the movie ahhhhh I need to watch studio ghibli one day eventually)

Felix’s baking u SWEETS cuz he knows all u want to do rn is tear up something sweet. He’s making cookies, brownies, whatever ur craving he’s making it immediately and he’s making enough to last and for the other members too (I actually need this rn my sweet tooth has been awful for days can someone plz just buy me some sour patch kids and gummy bears it’s the ticket to my heart atp)

Seungmin has a soft atmosphere for u, he’s singing softly in ur ear and quieting lulling u to sleep. Soft hair strokes ☹️☹️ just the whole vibes of everything.

I feel Jeongin’s supplying u with warm clothes too. A warm hoodie of his, a warm blanket, anything to make u feel comfortable and safe

That’s my dump 🫠 my back hurts lmao pain medication does not always kick in all the way 😭😭😭

-💫

MY PERIOD JUST ENDED BUTT THIS MADE ME EMOTIONAL AGAIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 they'd all be the perfect boyfriends perfectly attuned to all ur needs giving u the best hugs and tummy rubs and making sure you are warm and well fed. bonus if u get mood swings and are irked by the smallest things then they'd have the softest cutest voice with you like "mm, and what happened baby? u dropped a spoon is that why you're crying?" all cooing at u and being very understanding and loving. (this is based on a real story

)