#About posting this

[lonely-moon-artist-blog]

Content warning???? This kinda suggestive???

I don't know honestly I've never posted something openly suggestive without noticing I hope- Just.. I just wanna warn people who might be not okay with the theme-

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GONNA BE A SMITTEN MITTEN TILL THE DAY YOU DIE?

Aka, AbelBunny brainrot wins once again-

[cherrysjjkhellhole]

Sibling AU by @nessieartss

If Yuma was in that universe- (You can clearly tell I was the anon who made that chihuahua little sibling question- Here you have it, the first grain of salt-)

[softlyapocalytpic]

Having lots of thoughts on Steelheart at the moment and decided to share some here-

I’ve really struggled a long time with posting any of my work onto the internet. For a lot of reasons, but one of them being that the stories I wanna write and tell for Fallout specifically are ones I know that very few will be interested in.

I work in social media at the moment and just being in fandom as a writer and looking at the numbers means that I know ahead of time what will “do well” on tungle dot hell or on ao3. I know what’s popular!

If I wrote Steelheart from Butch’s perspective and focused on their romance and made it more about him I know it would be at least slightly more popular- and its made me really insecure. Is the story I’m writing worth writing? Is it interesting? Would it be better to do just that?

(Please note that I do love stories that do all that as well, and this by no means a critique or shitting on them. If anything, the fact I love them so much makes me more insecure about my own writing choices.)

But, Steelheart isn’t Butch’s story. He’s the love interest, and won’t even become a perspective character until the latter half. He’s so important to the story and it wouldn’t be the same without him! But this is Amy’s story. It always has been, but I struggle constantly with whether or not it’s worth telling.

And I have to remind myself constantly of why I’m writing it. Amy’s story is just a piece of a bigger hole. Her story sets up Leo, gives context for his existence, because down the line he’s going to become a major character with entirely his own plot and story! Her story sets up Sunshine, in ways that I’ve been cagey about, but would be remarkably obvious (I think???) if anyone just. Looked at the random shit I’ve posted about them both.

And I COULD’VE told her story through flashbacks, through the stories that other people tell about her. In some ways, thematically, that would’ve been more impactful. The Lone Wanderer is a myth, a legend, a hero who very few truly knew and understood, but her story is already so heartbreaking and tragic. The hand she gets dealt is so DUMB unfair and it felt... bad? To make her just a footnote? Just a stepping stone to other heroes rise?

Because she means a lot to me- she’s the character whom is probably most reflective of my internal feelings. She’s a protector, a caretaker, even if she isn’t the same kind I am, and she struggles with feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. When I’m in a bad spot writing out Amy’s own bad internal feelings lets me vent it out, and I have the knowledge that she always gets better. Even if her fate is ultimately a tragedy, it’s always been one that’s supposed to be marked by hope.

And yeah, numbers shouldn’t matter. Working in social media has made me almost too aware of how to get the good numbers and I hate it. I wish I wasn’t. I wish I could just write my stories because they make me happy, but it just... isn’t the reality.

Because writing and art doesn’t exist in a vaccuum! If no one stops to go “hey this is neat” it fucking hurts! And I don’t really blame people it’s just-

It hurts and is frustrating. Because I know what would make people pay attention, but I refuse to compromise my vision! I’ve been working on this world and these characters stories since fucking summer of 2017. Steelheart is one part in at least a four part series that explores so much of the world of Fallout because I ADORE this world. I have barely stopped thinking about since I got into the fandom and I just hope-

I just hope one day my love for these stories gets reflected back at me? I’ll probably have to learn to live without that but. It’d be neat. It’d be cool. It’d be chill.

I recognize that this might sound whiney or “hey come look at my fanfic because you pity me” but its really not supposed to. I kinda just, wanna voice this on my blog because its my own space. I don’t wanna just hold my thoughts to myself just because other people would take a lot of this in the wrong way.

TLDR; I really love Steelheart being fromy Amy's perspective and focusing on her journey as a person, but I'm super insecure about it because I think everyone would rather just here about her love story with Butch!! Which is super important to her growth as her person (and I really love romance as well), but I also I hope people like the other parts of it too ;;

[bugsinthebayou]

cunty sukuna

[koobiie]

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

[sp1resong]

being self aware suuuucks like yeah this thought pattern/behavior is stupid and pointless and a symptom. i know this. [does it anyways

[sepiamestus]

You guys should read thepromised neverland

[regina-cordium]

Guy just walked in with a shirt that said “I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them” and frankly I’m obsessed

[catlaila]

justice for kabru. they put my man in the wrong genre. bro was meant to be playing psychological games with light yagami and instead he’s playing yaoi mind tennis with a blonde himbo

[ladyshinga]

[whiteshipnightjar]

Zoozve, my beloved

[chronotopes]

nobody got hurt so im allowed to giggle about this extremely looney tunes looking accident on a part of 64 i used to drive down at least once a week

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

that article going around abt firefox's new ad program is annoying bc it's phrased as though "mozilla has finally TURNED on its people and is SELLING YOU OUT for cold hard cash!!" when. that's not what's happening. it is specifically being implemented to discourage tracking behavior, and literally all the data they are giving to advertisers is aggregate and anonymized, which is like, the opposite of what that post wants you to worry about, lol

[paper-mario-wiki]

in case you're wondering what the greatest AMV of all time is, it's this one from 2008.

[divorce-enjoyer]

put those big brown eyes away dude now is NOT the time

[mayhemchicken-artblog]

in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off

EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through