#Afraid of Everything

[hatecomeseasy]

SPY - Afraid Of Everything

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

[godbirdart]

the beige minimalist aesthetic epidemic in interior design reminds me of when i was 16 and made myself a sona that was a white dog with beige and brown accents because i wanted to seem like a Serious Grown Up artist — but then i realized that was Stupid and turned my sona into this a month later lmao

[lolottes]

Ida pendant

Ida Manson is Constantine's ex

that ended badly and she created magical distancing pendant and a silencing spell that prevents him from talking about her

When Justice League Dark sends Constantine to Amity Park, he can't even enter the city

he sighs, how is he going to be able to explain this without mentioning ida

[fluentisonus]

speaking of wounds sometimes I see posts on here that are like "discussion/depiction of wounds is more about metaphorical intimacy nobody means they're literally erotic" like no they're sexual actually. to me.

[springofviolets]

This should be really interesting. On April 5, Michael Sheen will be on a no-holds-barred interview show whose conceit is to let neurodivergent journalists throw the most weird and challenging questions they can come up with at him.

[carlyraejepsans]

was it foolishness? (was it fate)

[little-pondhead]

Danny moved to Gotham.

Freakshow is touring in Gotham.

Freakshow knows Danny is in Gotham.

Danny knows Freakshow is still after him.

Danny's faith in heroes has been shattered.

Danny turns to the only person powerful enough to run Freakshow out of town, hopefully for good.

Danny turns to the Joker for help.

The Joker is looking for a new punching bag sidekick after Harley Quinn left him.

Danny is just the perfect person to be shaped by the Joker's hands.

Danny becomes the new Joker Junior.

[nomlioart]

🥀 when touch averse becomes touch starved 🥀

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

y'all need to get a grip. you blab all day about how much you hate bigots and hateful people and how evil it is to dehumanize anyone and then you turn around and say "kys" and "i think [x] should all just kill themselves" and other disgusting, violent and childish trash

so many people on here are just full of hatred and vitriol and turn into frenzied sharks anytime the target 'deserves it' and they think they can get away with it and not be called bad people. then they whine about how sad it is that we can't all just get along and if only all the evil people in the world would stop doing evil things wouldn't that be nicer

you're just as vicious, hypocritical and fanatically puritanical as the caricature you have made in your minds of the people you think you have nothing in common with. if you've ever told someone, ANYONE to kill themselves you're not advocates of justice, you're not artisans of peace, and you certainly don't have any moral high ground that would allow you to pass judgment on others

[heybiji]

he has a library card

[that-vampire-loser]

Headcanon that Neil is touching Andrew at any opportunity (with permission, of course)

Sitting in Andrew’s lap at Eden’s

A hand on Andrew’s thigh underneath the table at sweeties

Laying his head on Andrew’s shoulder during bus rides

Sitting on opposite sides of their couch with their feet tangled together

Sitting between Andrew’s legs on the floor during movie nights with the upperclassmen with his head resting on Andrew’s thigh

Sitting with his legs sprawled over Andrew’s when they’re in the Fox lounge

Holding hands on the center console of the car

Or having Andrew rest his hand on Neil’s thigh when they’re in the car

Laying his head in Andrew’s lap at any time since he knows Andrew likes playing with his hair

Laying his head on Andrew’s chest when they’re sleeping

Having Andrew sleeping practically on top of him on the couch

Holding his hand whenever he can

Basically Andreil just being in love, and neither of them are afraid to show it

[ohitslen]

Promises

He should know better. 

Wolfwood has seen Vash make promises, or hear about the ones he has made in the past. He has also seen the end of each one and how every single time the outcome is less than what was promised. 

Vash likes to say embellished words, with a soft and determined voice that lures you into his hopes and dreams, it almost feels like a spell, as if he was calling for you to come closer and believe him. But Wolfwood knows better.

He believes in him, but Vash is much closer to being an idealistic dreamer than a realistic person like he is. He might not be aware of it, but his beautiful promises of a better future give people hope, a hope that is usually embraced with things like disappointment and abandonment. 

He doesn’t think that Vash does it with the intent of looking for any of those things. Far from it, he might even do the impossible in order to accomplish said promises, but life is too short and humans are too mortal for his wishes, so in the end, most of Vash’s promises end up being empty or they come to haunt him as a reminder of his failed vows. He admires the man, for his perseverance and idealism, but he also hates the man, for his stubbornness and lies. 

Wolfwood knows all of this perfectly to a tee. And yet, he has also found himself being drawn to his world. Because he also dreams of it.

A world in where his always present calls for love and peace exist, a world that is far more kind than what he might deserve, a world in where the kids can be happy and roam around without any worry in their heads, a world in where he can peacefully turn grey with age and his hands can shed the harsh callouses of his life. Who knows, maybe a world in where he and Vash can finally know the peace that was taken away from them, in where they can share the calmness that comes with the passage of time, indulging in every tick of the clock welcoming with open arms whatever comes their way without any fear.

It is a beautiful promise. But Wolfwood is a person that has to keep his feet on the ground, indulging in “what ifs” would only make things harder than what they had to be. He can’t have any ifs if he can’t make it through the now. And by the way he is carrying his present, he is doubtful he will even get to see a shed of that promised world that Vash tries to drag him into. So why mourn something he doesn’t even have, or will ever have for that matter.

He hates the way Vash seems to promise things so easily. His tongue silky and pliant, slipping divine words one after the other, promises way too big for what that barren world can actually fit. 

But when Vash talks to him in that holy voice of his, when he hears him say “It’s okay, everything will be alright, I promise” so gently right on his ear, while he holds his face so tenderly making him focus on him and nothing else, he wants to believe him.

He has seen the end of his promises. He knows how impossible they are. But for once, he wants to believe it too. Believe in that loving world that will cradle them both until they fall asleep, listening to the soft sound of the wind laughing while the moons smile upon them. 

So he allows himself to indulge in the warmth of his palms, leaning into the comfort of his existence, feeling the soft air of Vash’s breaths against his skin while their foreheads meet in a touch that feels like a hot brand that will melt him.

For an instant, he allows himself to be selfish and believe that maybe, that is how living in that world Vash so desperately fights for would be. Soft and warm, making him feel safe in the hollow of Vash’s hands where the world seems to fit so well. A world where the blue sky is a blanket that covers the love and care that is nestled in it like the one in Vash’s eyes. He wants to see that world.

For now, he will selfishly think that the world that fits in Vash’s hands is right there in where he is holding him, where his blue eyes are drowning in the light of the sunset dripping with love and care while looking at him, that the gentle touch of Vash’s thumb wiping his tears is the same as the kiss of that laughing wind in that distant future, where the smile of his eyes overcomes the smile of the moons.

He should know better. But he loves the thought of that world. And he hopes that Vash will get to see that world, because that gentle sight is more fitting for someone like him than the one of his violent world.

He promises to himself that he will do what it takes for that day to be possible. Even if the end of that promise will be empty for Nicholas, he knows it will be a full one for Vash. So it really isn’t that empty for him after all.

He hates his lies, and he hates how true they sound, but Vash’s embellished words are far sweeter than his bitter thoughts so they feel better on his insides, almost like a balm that cares for the wounds of his throbbing, painful reality.

He should know better.

But aren’t humans weak at the promise of love?

[fear-no-mort]

favourite thing: his new habit of saying uhuh/mhm and also this

[fujii-draws]

Fear

[respectthepetty]

The entire episode was about growing up, and San Pang started it by stating that not only had Yuan grown up, but that Qian had also.

He pointed out how Qian is taking care of himself in small ways like cutting up the fruit, which ironically only Yuan gets to enjoy.

Then when Yuan tries to speak to Qian, Qian gets upset that Yuan knocks instead of just coming in and states that Lili and Yuan are grown now, so they can do whatever. But Qian is upset about it.

Xiong reminds Qian that Lili and San Pang are adults and implies Qian is the one being childish about this by hiding out in the office and giving Lili and San Pang the silent treatment.

Even though Lili is upset, Yuan reminds her that this is Qian's norm. Qian will pick silence and avoidance rather than crying or screaming.

Which is why Yuan is leaving space for Qian to directly state what he needs.

Yuan waited until Qian told him he could come home before he came home

Yuan left Qian's room and closed the door instead of staying with him

Yuan waited for Qian to say something when Qian woke up before he revealed he was awake as well

Yuan gave everyone else a drink first (because Qian never asked for one)

Yuan knocked on Qian's door and waited to be told he could enter

Yuan didn't ask Qian to go out even though it was his idea and he told Lili to do it, but he waited until Qian texted him to ask

Yuan said they could cancel the fishing trip and made Qian state that he still wanted to go

Yuan didn't put on Qian's seat belt, then asked Qian if he wanted him to do something

Yuan has only passively mentioned the confession, but he waited until Qian directly brought it up on the fishing trip to address the lingering question - do you want me too?

For the entire episode, we kept hearing about "growing up" and being a "grown up." San Pang confirmed that Qian has grown. Qian, just like Yuan's cactus that he took care of, might still be prickly, but he has grown significantly over the course of the series.

Qian sent Yuan away through San Pang. He never spoke to Yuan about it directly. Then, he kept Yuan away by never speaking to him.

Qian's norm is to shut down, which is why he was a great enforcer for the mafia. He disconnects and goes into survival mode, but now he is no longer just surviving. He is taking care of himself. He is stating what he wants and what he doesn't want. And it's soooo tiny that it seems unremarkable, but for a guy who never asks for anything for himself, it's huge!

Qian doesn't have a selfish bone in his body. He has done everything for his family, even sending Yuan away. He was a victim of abuse. He has boundaries, but he also doesn't believe he has a right to ask of anything beyond a good family. Everyone being healthy is a blessing in itself, so what else could he ask for?

Yuan can come back home, but Qian can't ask for Yuan to come back to him. That's selfish. Lili asked for family time, and this is Yuan's only available time, so Qian can't cancel. That would be selfish. He can't ask his brother or sister with bright futures to stay with him. That would be selfish. He can't ask to be loved when his own parents couldn't do that. That would be selfish.

Yet Yuan is going to show Qian it's okay to selfish.

And make him ask for what he wants.