#Also great fuckin going Solomon

[ivefallenfordemonsandicantgetup]

*We fell on Satan?????*

This is funny if we're assuming we're a sheep like in the comic. It's horrible if we're assuming we're in human form. And even worse when I picture it with my middle age male dad bodied MC, Jack. My Female MC is less problematic. But Jack would break him.

Either way, poor babe.

[koolades-world]

can i have the om brothers dealing with insomniac+workaholic!mc? Diavolo made a grave fucking mistake when unwillingly inviting mc to the devildom. can't sleep? work. bored? work. have nothing else to do? ask Lucifer or Diavolo for more work to do, or maybe cook something for Beel.

also, insomnia isn't easy to deal with. they have to pull out the strongest sleep potion or magic out there for that fucker to sleep. "oh have you tried melatonin?" YES I HAVE?? I'VE TRIED- "do you turn off your lights when you go to sleep?" no, i sleep with the lights on-- OF COURSE I TURN OFF THE LIGHTS YOU FUCKIN BALL LICKER. "maybe stop being on that phone of yours at late at night.." I CAN'T FUCKING SLEEP SO I MIGHT AS WELL DO SOMETHING.

whenever mc runs out of things to do, they re-do an assignment that got less than a 100% score.. someone drag this dymbfuck away from their work..

can i be🍷anon? or glass-eater anon? :3

hello!! yes, of course

those are both amazing anon names haha, welcome to the anon crew

enjoy <3

Workaholic Insomniac Mc

Lucifer

you can bet both of yall are making eye contact in the hallway at four am, and neither of you have slept

he gets you bestie

however he's willing to acknowledge both of you are practicing an unhealthy habit

together, you can take days off and as much as you itch to do work, you can stop each other. what a fun bonding activity!

Mammon

this is just like dealing with lucifer so he knows the drill

let you work as much as you want during the day without shirking your other responsibilities, but after dinner, he's dragging you away from it by the back of your shirt

when he can't fall asleep, he goes for a night drive, to nowhere in particular

so, he always invites you, because he knows you can't say no to him

Levi

he's also almost always awake at odd hours of the night, so he's always available

he would not be great to work in the same room as though

however he is willing to get you away from your work for a while to play some games with him

he knows that you need time away from that paper work and as much as you want to go back to it, he'll keep you with him until you complete the level. mark his word haha

Satan

will help you make those sleeping potions, or has solomon make some for you

if you ever want help with your work, he's willing to lend a hand, even though he knows you almost always say no

whenever you're awake at night, he'll come and sit where ever you're sitting to read so you'll have company

more often than not, he and belphie are next to you while you work as a silent indicator of what, or who, is waiting for you when you're done or want to take a break

Asmo

he fully believes in relaxing before bed and since he loves it so much, he suggests you try it with him

the first night you tried didn't really go as planned because he got a little overexcited so you had to try again the next night

that goes much better, and while it wasn't instant sleep, it was certainly better than staring at the ceiling for hours

plus, you get to spend time with asmo! who doesn't want that?

Beel

he won't lie he does enjoy the occasional impromptu meal you make for him when you've really got no more work to do (which is rare)

but he's concerned about you

honestly he thinks you're just like lucifer, you sincerely care about those around you and you work with them in mind

if you ever find random refreshments on your desk in the few moments you were gone, just know it was probably him

Belphie

as the self proclaimed king of sleep, he's always going out of his way to try and help you out

sometimes he falls asleep on your bed waiting for you to join him, while satan is still somehow going strong with his reading

if he notices you sitting at your desk for far too long, he'll start to whine and complain until you get in bed with him

sometimes, while he feels guilty, he'll use his power to help you fall asleep faster and give you a sweet dream that's usually about him

[panie-wanie-dean-bean]

Oh, what can I say about Solomon? He's a massive bitch

Now, don't take that as me saying I dislike Sol, I think he's fun! The same way I think Assy's fun, which is why I think them having a pact works so well. Assy may have been attracted to his raw magical talent, but they're also just on the same wavelength ya know?

These two could gossip about RAD students for hours, all while doing a night routine or trying out a cute new cafe Assy just had to visit. They have a pact, sure, but I also think they're genuinely friends. As close to friends two heavily guarded bitches could be anyway. I think their bond would get even stronger with you around. You help lower their walls a touch and if you can get them down at the same time there's a real connection there

It does take work to get to that point though. Solomon is who-even-fucking-knows old, and in that time he's had roughly two options: humans who will inevitably die and leave him alone again, or demons who are almost always vying for his soul. What I'm saying is this man is trust issues. He swore off of actual love a long time ago, knowing it would only lead to heart break, or worse

And then he met you. You were weak, and scared, and alone in the Devildom. He didn't think you'd last a day, and once the 24 hour mark hit he only changed his estimation to a week. Once he heard you had made a pact with Mammon, oh

Oh now he's interested

He needs to know you, study you. From the side lines of course, but he needs to make sure you don't fuckin die on him before he gets what he wants. Which is answers! Of course, I mean, he hasn't had an itch to study someone like this in millennia but you were intriguing! A human that managed to make pacts with two high ranking demons in a week? How could he not be mesmerized-

Fascinated...fascinated is the word he meant to use while talking about you with Assy. The smug smile on the demon's face made his blood threaten to boil "I can't tell if you're in denial or just plain stupid hun" Assy sauntered off soon after, leaving him with a warning "You should try talking to them! Now that they've got Beel around their finger I can tell they're aiming to make pacts with all of us. You might wanna shoot your shot before a Mr. Morningstar takes a shine to them. Ciao~"

It all tips over at Diavolo's little get together, from his perspective anyhow. He takes great pains to make sure no one notices, but on the inside he's finally put the pieces together. It's why he lends you his power that night, he could tell you had serious magical potential. And seeing what lengths you've gone to already, he knows Assy's little impossible task wouldn't stop you. So he lends you some of his magic, a part of him hoping that once you had all the brothers under your thumb, this silly little crush of his would die out

But it never did. If anything it got worse. Passing you in the hall became a test of will, seeing at least one of your little boy toys hanging off of you like a leech at all times. Once he caught eyes with Belphie, the little shit grinned ear to ear as he yanked down the back of your uniform to kiss his pact mark while staring daggers at him. Was it a test? A threat? He didn't have time to tell as his magic kicked in on it's own, teleporting him to RAD's front lawn

Once the exchange program was almost up he was overjoyed! Finally, he'll get to have you all to himself! He can set up shop basically anywhere, so he made arrangements to stay near you once you got to go home. He even offered to let you stay with him if you'd like! I mean, at this point whatever family you had probably assumes you're dead right? Might as well make a clean break with him, yeah?

But then the day came, and nothing changed. Oh, you were back in the human world, sure. But you still had your D.D.D with you, and it was constantly going off. If he didn't know Diavolo would kill him for it he would have smashed that thing as soon as you got here. He needed some way to get the brothers off your dick so much, or at least get enough respect from them that he could have five fucking minutes alone with you

And that's when it came to him. Sure he was already planning on turning you immortal eventually so you could live along side him, but the brothers didn't have to know that. And what do you know, he didn't even have to suggest the idea himself! Turns out your mortality came up naturally during your trip back to the Devildom and some of the brothers wouldn't let it slide

He offers his help of course, but nothing is without it's price in this world. In return he demands their respect, and a set amount of time with you each week. It's nothing compared to the eternity they'll get to spend with you now, right? So...have we got a deal?

[daenakills]

Just an Accident 3

I had posted this in ao3 and I forgot to post it here, sorry. Also I want yall to remember that tommy and her are married for a long time, it's kinda difficult to forget someone that you have loved for so long.

smut. with tommy. that's the warning.

The conversation with Alfie was honestly a bit awkward.

She tried to explain a bit about her relationship with Tommy and how he ignored her.

"Look, the thing between both of us... it was a little accident that I know we can both keep up with, right?"

"Fuckin' unbelievable you are.” he said.

"It's not unbelievable thinking about how Tommy is a total bastard with me though. I just want you to know that I enjoyed what happened.” She was so close to him, with her hands in his shoulders looking at him directly. He wasn't nervous. It surprised her. At least, she seemed to have a type.

She knew that he was going to say something but he was soon interrupted by a voice.

"I see that you're knowing my wife pretty well.”

Damn. It's Tommy.

She removed her hands from Alfie's shoulders to look at her husband.

"You're a lucky man, Tommy." he said.

There was a moment, that for a second she thought Thomas already knew. There was a pause, a silence that for some reason didn't feel awkward, but tense. It was a tense moment, and as she waited for Thomas's response, she felt the waiting gnaw at her.

The second the two of them stared into each other's eyes felt like an eternity. And she couldn't help but think, am I really the only reason why the atmosphere is so tense or is there some reason that I don't know about? And most likely it was the second option. She wasn't the reason why the two of them looked at each other that way, she wad just one more fuel on the fire. And for some reason, she was relieved.

"I know."

The tension had decreased in intensity, but it hadn't finished. Thomas said goodbye, she knew that. But she was so lost in Alfie watching her, and as she watched, her mind kept replaying that night at the same time she was analyzing her situation. She thought about how she probably would stay stuck next to Tommy like one more lamp in the house, remembering that time when she tasted freedom one last time. How demeaning.

They were leaving the event and there was only silence. She was used to silence, it had been years since the last time she had had a long conversation with her husband, without it being an argument, of course.

"What were you doing with him in that place?"

She looked at him for a second, every day she was more surprised by the hypocrisy that Tommy handled.

"Talking."

"Talking about what?"

"Do you really think I can't have something in common with someone?"

"I think you may have something in common with someone, but I don't think you have anything to talk with Alfie Solomons."

"Who says? Maybe he and I have more in common than you and me."

"Anyone can have more in common with you than you and me. I don't get the point you're trying to make."

She was going to admit it, his comment had hurt. He had definitely touched that part of her that adored the Tommy she married. And that only meant one thing.

A part of her still loved him.

She wondered if at some point her love would stop being her great weakness.

The way home was silent. And in the entire conversation, the two of them had not looked at each other once. She supposed that said something about their relationship.

When her children arrived, they received them, and she could stop wanting to disappear from the face of the earth since they only made it more difficult to flee from her situation.

She hated to think that she loved them more than they loved her. That they would never be replaceable but she was easily replaced by any woman they liked. After all they were children, they had no conscience, right? One day they would realize how important she was. Someday they would all realize how relevant it was to have her in her life.

"Why aren't you asleep yet? It's too late, go to bed."

She went to her room without looking back, she started to undress, put on her sleeping clothes and proceeded to lie down to try to fall asleep. When she got it she began to dream. She dreamed very nice things, she dreamed that she was an internationally famous actress. She was enjoying her dream when a hand woke her up.

A hand that caressed her clothes, at the same time that it gently lifted her sleeping dress.

"What are you doing, Tommy?"

"Just touching my wife, I guess I'm within my rights."

"Just say what you need to. I know full well that you're not touching me like that because it provoked you." Silence.

She proceeded to turn around to face him face to face. They looked at each other for a moment and then he kissed her. It was obvious that he wanted her kiss to last longer than it really was going to last.

"Why don't you go with one of your mistresses to satisfy you."

"Shut up."

They started kissing again, while they kissed, he touched her tits. He caressed, squeezed and slapped. She felt like he was squeezing her nipples hard so she cried out in pain.

"Shh, you're going to wake up the kids and we don't want that."

He put a finger inside her pussy, but one finger turned into three and three of his fingers turned into his cock. It felt so good to have him inside her.

Tommy was changing speed and she felt how her breasts were bouncing, sometimes she made small moans so he put his hand to cover her mouth. Her back arched as he pushed her penis deeper and deeper. She couldn't think of anything as he took her, all she could do was ask for more. In a moment of minimal awareness she asked him not to finish inside her, which he accepted.

And when they finished they both fell asleep. Or at least she knew that Thomas closed his eyes, she knew that he hardly ever slept much.

She woke up to find him already dressed, about to leave.

"Morning. Have the children woke up yet?"

"Yes, they are already eating."

"You have already eaten?"

"No."

"Do you want us to eat together?"

"No, I'll eat elsewhere, I'd like to be on time for something."

"It's okay."

She spent her day in bed, after having breakfast with her children and taking them to school. She felt that she deserved a day in bed. The day had honestly gone by very quickly, she always wondered why the days had been going by so quickly.

The days passed and Tommy treated her very well, in fact. He would buy things for her and he would take her and the children to the park to play with other children. 15 days had passed since that night.

That day she was going to bed with him when he told her something that took her by surprise.

"I love you, good night." he leaned closer and placed a kiss on her cheek. She froze and she could only think of telling him one thing.

"I love you too."

"Good to know." He said in a extremely suspicious way.

"Why is it good to know? You already know that, I married you."

"Yeah, but for a while I thought you were doing things behind my back." She got nervous, as a consequence her hands began to sweat.

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know, like conspiring against me."

"I wouldn't do that."

"Don't think I don't know what you were up to with Alfie."

"I wasn't up to anything."

"It would make sense, since I have done nothing but be a good husband.  I have bought you things, gone out with the children for a walk, I've been good to you."

There she realized that he thought she was conspiring against him with Alfie. And that's why he had been being considerate of her.

She didn't know if she was relieved or more concerned. What she did know is that in either of the two she was an unloyal woman. She didn't like that Thomas ended up like the saint.

And from one moment to the next, the conversation that started with "I love you" ends with "Now! Let's stop this shit. I just want you to know that nothing is escaping me. You can't just betray me and hope that I won't find out."

[inkwolvesandcoffee]

Cards & Conversations (Werewolf!Alfie Solomons x Reader)

Genre: Romance, Angst, Drama

Pairing: Werewolf!Alfie Solomons x Shelby!Reader

Word count: 3.8K

Warnings: Mild swearing, difficult father-daughter relationship, emotional abuse, melancholy thoughts, allusion to past violence and death, scars

Summary: We lose things over the years. Family members, innocence, the perfect world you held for a single summer.

Your heart.

But sometimes the gods are gracious and re-entwine your fate with the person you thought you lost forever, vanished after a heated conversation you were shut out of. Carefully shut away in a gilded cage again with only a blank page and his old typewriter for company. However, the tarot cards your brother gave you know what happened ten years ago.

They know why the King has returned to Camden.

Author’s note: This wee piece has turned out heavier in plot than I thought, enough so for me to want to work this out into a proper multi-part story in the future because there is a lot to dissect here and it feels kinda rushed. To me, that is, maybe not to you. Ah dinnae ken.

Anyways, I kept the tarot reading a bit shallow if only because I am still a beginner/someone who does it as a hobby. 

TH Masterlist

Tag list: @potter-solomons​ @vir-tual​ @zablife​ @buttercup32sstuff​ @ilovemanypeople​ @hecatemoon87​ @dreamlandcreations​ @elijahssuit​ @liliac-dreamer​ @alikaheroes​​

Support can come from the most unexpected corner, yet exceed your expectations in tenderness. 

A condolence card.

Flowers for your mother’s grave.

An arm around your shoulders throughout the funeral.

A hand to hold yours while navigating the chaotic and dangerous streets of London when finally having a chance to escape the mansion on the hill.

Fingers to keep yours, comically small compared to his, warm outside. 

In bookshops, only let go of during a cup of coffee or tea should it have a café.

An unnaturally warm body to snuggle up to whenever you feel cold.

Shoulders to be carried on during the odd trip down to Margate.

But those holidays during which my brother, Charlie, and I were kept out of business and separated from the rest of our family came to an end. About ten years ago, a long-standing peace pact was broken.

I can still recall the argument resounding from the drawing room. It’s funny how I thought shielding my ears would not have it touch me. Naive, really, innit?

“You crossed the line, Alfie.”

“You fuckin’ what?”

“You crossed the line.”

“The line?”

“She’s my daughter!”

But that wasn’t the real issue. No, there were two actual problems.

One, I’m Thomas Shelby’s and Grace Burgess’s daughter.

Two, according to my father, despite the similarities in hair and eye colour between us, I am the living embodiment of the only woman he’s ever loved. Don’t get me wrong, Lizzie is great and we get along well. Ruby, bless her spirited little heart, is as much of a sibling to me as Charlie is. 

But she isn’t Mum.

And Thomas wouldn’t let her memory be tainted by a connection to his greatest rival and ally, Alfie Solomons.

The King of Camden.

The alpha of the Camden Town Pack. 

The man who stole my heart ten years ago. 

That brings me to problem number three, hidden in the shadows and all too gladly forgotten. 

I was sixteen. He was thirty-six. 

At the time I didn’t know he had imprinted on me. Neither could I have guessed that there were such a thing as werewolves. The supernatural, in general. It was only when I started working in an odd little bakery run by an elderly woman I discovered how thin the veil between the realms are and what it means to have a certain heritage.

Aunt Polly is right.

We shake hands with devils and we walk past them. 

It’s a blessing to be a witch. But also to be a woman locked in a gilded cage, albeit, paradoxically, with a chance to have a life outside the family business. To have a talent for writing and being able to make a living out of it. To have fans curious about my stories, eager to read them and rejoice whenever they see me at signings and book events.

While I’m glad for what the gods have gifted me, to be a modern filid and possess a sixth sense, I might owe them for the rest of my life.

Because only last month they gave me back my heart.

Drunk, his hair and beard out of control, an ugly deep scar over his left eye leaving it blind, and soaked by the rain, he was there.

Alfie.

On my doorstep.

“So you’re the new witch in town, eh? Set up shop in me borough. Me kingdom,” he drawled. However, the way he leant in the doorway with haunted blue eyes ruined the mock indignation at once. A careful though gentle smile spread on his lips as he took me in. “Fuckin’ ‘ell, you’re even prettier than I remember.”

He leaned in, almost toppling over with unsteady feet. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t save us.” I am still uncertain whether he was heavily sniffling or it was a sob he tried to conceal. ‘‘This godforsaken soul couldn’t save you.’’

Thomas walked in at that moment, acknowledging our surprise guest in a cool voice. “Alfie.”

The prodigal alpha of Camden clumsily righted himself, glaring at the tyrant of the Westminster townhouse. “Tommy, good to see you. ‘Ow’s business?”

“Never been better.” Thomas shifted his attention to me. “Y/N, go upstairs. Mister Solomons and I have to talk.”

“I’m not-’’ I began, looking over my shoulder.

“Go upstairs!”

“Don’t yell at her!” Alfie roared before turning to me with a softer voice. “Go upstairs, right? It’s okay. We’ll talk tomorrow… if me head can remember.”

I clenched my fists, trying to keep my breathing even. As per usual, I managed. Still, I could feel myself hanging on by a thread, ragged around my throat.

Always pushed into the corner one way or the other.

Always me.

Why does it always have to be me?

Locked away in loneliness.

Shut away in a prison more cruel than The Tower. Left to my own devices and thoughts dedicated to the shadows, the dark corners of my mind.

Upstairs, Charlie walked out of his room, pale and concern etched on his face. He’s only too aware of how Thomas regards me and to this day makes sure I get treated as fairly as possible. “What’s happening? Why was he yelling at you?”

“The King has returned,” I mumbled, quickly brushing past him since I my pride refused me to let him see the tears brimming on my lashes. Footsteps as loud as a ghost’s, I slipped into my room and closed the door as softly as I could behind me.

The war inside was no one’s business, only for me to fight.

Another night of spilling the blood of its casualties on the page, somewhere between the lines a remembrance for the girl who hoped to rise like a phoenix. Another silent funeral for my soul.

An author is, essentially, all the characters she has created and is yet to create. My stories are told by people that carry little bits of myself, carefully concealed behind a fictional mask. But that’s what gets us through the day, innit, the stories we tell ourselves.

I was already broken up into so many fragments that night that I don’t even know who it is staring back at me in the mirror. Who is the woman people cheer for at signings in bookshops? Who is the lonely girl wandering in every Waterstones in Birmingham and London, a family member always nearby? Who was the young heart that was shredded to pieces and only recently glued together by rum rather than whiskey?

It’s a question I ask myself again now, looking down with a wistful smile. 

A blank page. Empty. Adjustable. Without personality. Whatever you want it to be and can give life to from your inner world.

Outside, the sound of shuffling feet goes accompanied by groaning, curses, low grumbles, and the creaking of wood. Somewhere in the distance a fight breaks out between two men, their voices too dim to make out the topic nor arguments of their heated debate. 

Although it isn’t my writing room with a desk by the window, this London hideout has become my personal bubble too. Alfie offered me to use his office whenever I want to, regardless of him being at work or not. Nonetheless, as during those holidays in Margate, he still prefers me to work on my books in his company on his rare day off. After all, despite the fact I’m, in his words, “off the fucking menu”, he trusts no one in his pack to not try their luck with me.

What a story that would be. A werewolf lower in rank trying to shack a Shelby witch, breaking the alpha’s rule. The alpha would go ballistic and a fight would break out.

Blood would flow.

The end is someone's death.

Fortunately, the rozzers in this part of town are in Alfie’s pocket because I don’t know how I’d save him from a charge for murder without my family’s help. Even then it’s highly unlikely he’d get away with it since no one wants him to live as desperately as I do.

“That ain’t writin’.” Alfie steps into the office, closing the door behind him. It falls into the lock with a soft click.

“No, indeed it isn’t.” I thumb the deck of cards in my hands. “Dad goes ballistic every time he catches me. If I don’t remind him of Mum, it’s this. Charlie’s different, though. He gave me these for my birthday and covers me as much as he can. He knows they’re important to me.”

“Funny, Tom going fucking angry at gyppo stuff.” He scoffs, sitting down in one of the chairs in front of his desk. “His anger is un-fucking-justified. Yes, you look like your mum, but that ain’t your fault. Besides, you’re… never mind. You don’t need to hear that.”

Maybe not right now, but still… one day I want you to say it again.

If only to hear I’m a beautiful person to someone.

To him.

I cock an eyebrow and scrunch my nose. For both our sakes, I ignore the unfinished remark. “Westminster changed him. We’re no longer gipsies. Looks like we’re fucking above that.”

“Not you, though,” Alfie says, a silent hint for me to continue in his soft-spoken voice.

I sigh. “Not me. I’d rather be a witch and honour my roots than become a toff settled in a mansion.”

“Got the itch to travel, eh?”

“Always. I remember what you promised me.” Throat constricted with solemn nostalgia, I swallow and fail to muster even a sliver of a smile. “But then again, I was just a girl back then. Stupid I believed you.”

Alfie opens and closes his mouth, but settles for a groan. He leans in and places a big warm palm over my fumbling fingers. A crown to protect the queen’s hand. “The road is open. I couldn’t take you then, right, I’m very well aware of that, but we can still go.”

“Despite who I am?”

“You’re not a fucking Shelby. Freedom is a ‘uman right, but not every ‘uman gets to enjoy it. I wanna open the cage, see where the little bird goes.”

And will the wolf follow? Or will he get someone else to free him from the Tower?

I bite my lip, gaze averted to our hands. 

Alfie clears his throat and leans back. The rings on his fingers shimmer in the artificial light when he lets his entwined fingers rest on his stomach. “Self-taught?”

“Polly taught me. Well, the basics. I developed my skills further myself.” I tilt my head, our eyes locked while an idea pops into my head. “I’m no expert, but… can I do a reading on you?”

He silently gestures at his desk, giving permission.

“I’ll do a simple spread. Three cards. Past. Present. Future.”

Hopefully, the cards will reveal what you and Thomas swept under the carpet.

I shuffle the deck, focusing on the question of what happened a decade ago. If there’s anything I want and need to know about the pack leader’s history, it’s this small piece we have in common. 

The crossroads between our stories.

I draw the first card, presenting the past. 

Ten of Swords.

The second card, the present. 

Six of Cups.

The third and final card, the future. 

The Chariot.

My stomach drops at the sight of the wolf pierced by swords. “Something failed, a defeat that led to some sort of collapse. But it wasn’t a part of your business that failed, was it?” 

I furrow my brow, pondering what could have happened. However, not a second has passed before I flinch and a vision flashes behind my eyes. 

Growling. Blood. Organs. Alfie clenching his fists and holding his head while his skin ripples. Empty and broken bottles of rum. The nauseating noise of bones cracking resonates in my ears while skin replaces fur and vice versa in quick succession. 

“It was a collapse of self. You took to the bottle, more and more, to drawn out the feeling of having failed. Changed more often until…” my breath hitches and I snap my head up to meet his gaze, still panting lightly. His expression is stoic, his sentiments concealed. “You went feral.”

So that’s why Camden was quiet, but Ollie was always tense. Poor sod, being left in command without warning.

I compose myself as best as possible and continue. “The present, Six of Cups. This world is still strange to you, but slowly you’re getting familiar with it again. How… how much do you remember?”

“Only you. Me fuckin’ noggin’ is a mess, one black hole.’’ Tenderness illuminates his eyes, warming the blue sea and icy lake in them. ‘‘But I, I swear, right, I’ve never forgotten you. You were there, even in the midst of the worst frenzy.”

I shake my head, desperate to stop him before we go down a familiar road. Before I start hoping for an ideal. “Don’t tell me you came back because of me.”

“You, yeah, you told me you wondered whether or not I’d come back. So,’’ he spreads his hands for a moment and then puts them down again, ‘‘ere I am.”

I mean, you’re not wrong. I did say that, but that was last month.

When I slipped out of my room just to get a glimpse of him before going to bed, feeling like a little kid again, rebellious enough to defy the rules. I ended up sitting at his bed for longer than I intended. To be honest, I had to kick myself out of the guestroom lest I ended up sleeping next to him, which would have worsened the already precarious situation with Thomas.

“I thought you were asleep.”

“Drunk, yes. But not asleep. I forced myself to stay awake, to enjoy every second of your company.” He bites his lip, failing to sound any less direct. “Not a moment went by I didn’t want to go ‘ome. But I ‘ad no one to guide me there.”

“Your guide didn’t know where to look. Lost herself in a terrible dark forest,” I murmur. “Must be strange, though, being back after so many years. Camden has changed.”

“It ‘as, but I still remember the way around me kingdom. Seems even the new faces know who sits on the throne.” He looks down at his hands and rest of his body. “Odd, innit, clothes and what we use them for? Feels unnatural, not like what Yahweh had planned for us to be wearin’ when ‘e made us. Didn’t want to give you a fright, though. Lots of new scars that ‘aven’t ‘ealed yet or barely. Yeah… would only stress you out. I do apologise for me manners, though, the way I ate that sandwich. One eats differently... out there. Besides, being blind on one side ‘as its complications.”

“You were a messy eater even before you left.” I can’t suppress a smile at a particular memory. “I always had to help you wipe crumbs from your beard whenever we went out to lunch. D’you remember that?”

“Can’t say it sounds strange to me ears.” His brow furrows and he flinches, fingertips pressed to his temple. Between shallow breaths sounds a note of delighted relief. “I think such a memory just returned.”

“You’ll get there.”

It’s better to remember something rather than nothing at all.

“Doc told me the best way to sort out the fuckin’ mess up there is to visit the places I’ve been. Said it could form a trigger.”

I shift in my seat. Regardless of being an adult, Thomas still likes to keep a close eye on me. And if it isn’t him, he’ll send another watchdog. Knowing him, it’s highly likely he’ll send for Michael, who has pretty much figured me out over the years. That’s what you get when you spend too many Christmases at Polly’s. “I’ll have to find a way out of the cage to meet you.”

“I 'ave a key.”

“You do?”

Ignoring my question, Alfie nods at the three cards on the desk. “Last card. What does it mean?”

Blinking in surprise at the swift change in topic, I clear my throat and return my focus to the reading. “The Chariot. You’ll gain discipline and self control. You found a way to quell the rage inside or, rather, subdue the Wolf.”

“Guess the Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is paying off,” he chuckles.

“I thought you did boxing?”

“I did that before, you know, the whole leaving and feral thin’. Currently doin’ that.”

“It sounds less violent.”

“It is.”

“No cage fights?”

He shakes his head, a few strands of grey highlighted by the light. “No, love, no more cage fights. I can’t right remember, but I stopped participatin’ in those a long time ago. ‘Ell, I don’t even know anymore what they were like.”

“You were fearsome,” I say, hoping to spark a sliver of a memory which won’t contain the events that ended with fatal accidents. “Nothing could stop you in the ring.”

“What calmed me down?”

“A bath and a cup of tea.”

“Right after the fight, I mean.”

“They’d sent for me lest…”

“Lest what?” I avoid his gaze, which is clearly not appreciated. “Lest what, love?” he repeats, tone harsher and sharper.

I press my lips together, breathing in deeply. “Lest the wolf took completely over. The day it happened for the, fuck, I don’t even know how many times it had been. Four? Five? It might have been ten when I finally got through to you. And on that night, I made you promise to stop fighting.”

“Did I? Stop fightin’, I mean?”

I glance around the room, lost for how to answer. “I don’t know. You were proud of being a wolf, hell, the fucking alpha of Camden Town. It was the one thing you didn’t want to give up. Fighting was in your nature and I fear that it’s a part you wouldn’t give up. Not even for me.”

“I ‘ave now, yeah, I ‘ave now. No more fightin’, Y/N. I swear so on everything between this world and the next, every bloody grave I can think of.”

“Perhaps that abstinence from violence is where your success lies.”

Maybe temperance forms the key to self-control when it comes to us. Maybe we were poison to each other before, but what if we keep an eye on the dosage?

What if we can find our way back?

The door opens. Ollie remains in the doorway, expression pale. “Boss, Randy and Pete are nigh on having a shiv dance.”

“Fuckin’ ‘ell,” Alfie grumbles as he rises to his feet. “I’ll be there in a minute. Go on, off you fuck.”

“Yes, boss.” The second-in-command curtly nods at me, smiling politely. “Y/N, sorry for the intrusion.”

“It’s alright, Ollie. Thank you.”

“‘Ow about you stay ‘ere, hm?” Alfie proposes after his subordinate has closed the door. 

“How’d you mean? I don’t want to inconvenience-’’

“You’re not. And I don’t mean ‘ere as in this shithole of a basement with all these numpties. What I mean, right, is ‘ow about you stay ‘ere, at my side? Plus, I’ll be ‘onest, and you know I only am with you, it’s part of me plan to prove you’re not nor ‘ave ever been a Shelby.”

“Enlighten me,” I say to humour him yet harbouring no expectations for this to be anything more than a joke. ‘‘Tell me about this big plan of yours.’’

“A change of name.” Lost in thought, he strokes his beard. “Yeah… that oughta do it. Y/N Solomons has a nice ring to it, don’t it?”

Jaw clenched, I put the cards down to cross my arms. “Alfie, this isn’t funny.”

“I’m not being funny, Mrs Solomons. C’mon, stand up.” He walks around the desk and pulls me to my feet, his calloused palms warm against my skin. A strong whiff of oud wood and vanilla hits my nose when he leans in to rest his forehead against mine. “This old selfish chap means it. Marry me, eh?”

I run my fingers through his bushy whiskers, an old habit I can’t seem to quit. Sooner or later, this will turn out to be him pulling my leg. The words leaving my mouth are sceptic too, slow and hesitant as they roll off my tongue. “Are you mental?” 

“Perhaps, but I want to set you free. Show Tom he has a wonderful woman of a daughter who deserves the world, right, a world I want to try and give ‘er.” He removes one of his rings and the silver chain around his neck, making a necklace out of the pieces of jewellery. Then he reaches back to put it on me. The silver is lukewarm against my chest, having retained some of his natural heat. “I don’t need an answer right now. You don’t even need to love me in return. I simply wish to keep you safe, that which I couldn’t do the first time. But this time, yeah, this time I will. Swear so on every holy book in this whole damned world. ‘Sides, I had to pop the question at least once while I’m still ‘ere. While I still remember.”

My breath tapers, the butterflies violently trying to break out yet all congesting in my throat. Stuck in a net of fear. “I want to find our way back, I do. But marriage seems too big of a step to take.”

“You know me better than anyone else, love. Take your time to think about it, eh.’’ He lovingly strokes my cheek, softly purring. ‘‘I’ll wait. ‘Owever, if you reject my offer, at least use the name to be free. I’ll find you a place to stay either ‘ere in Camden or in Margate. A nice big apartment or an entire ‘ouse, whatever you fancy. Wherever you fancy, actually. So if you wanna go to, let’s say, France and mingle with fuckin’ baguettes, I’ll make it ‘appen.”

“Alfie…”

Before I can begin to protest, he shushes me by pressing his lips on mine. They’re still as soft and plush as I remember, tender yet full of restrained passion. Needing more of this, us, but sharing the hesitancy of chasing the ideal world we lived in for a single summer. 

After a moment he breaks away and kisses the tip of my nose. “I need to get back to work. Make sure these floors stay clean and those runts get a reminder of the bloody rules. Stay for as long as you like.”

I watch him leave the office, grown a little colder.

And aside from the dim shouting, growls, and Alfie putting the other wolves in place, there’s nothing.

Nothing except a racing, conflicted heart and an all too familiar companion.

Silence.

[arcplaysgames]

hmmm where did i leave off....

To celebrate the Madarame Job, the team comes together for hot pot. It's a nice sequence! It's cute! Ann and Yusuke continue to be my favorites. Everyone bonds over their sad backstories and Reverie re-explains how he wound up with an assault charge.

Morgana is briefly sad that he doesn't have any memories to bond with the team about. Yusuke is as comforting as I would expect him to be. He has such a dry sense of humor, it reminds me of Akihiko when he starts to open up and has these really straight-faced little jokes.

AND FOR A WHOLE TEN MINUTES THE GAME LETS ME THINK YUSUKE IS GONNA MOVE IN WITH REVERIE AND I WAS LIKE "AT LAST, EVERYONE TOLD ME THIS GAME WOULD DELIVER SOME GAY AND NOW I GET TO HANG OUT WITH EFFETE AESTHETE MATT MERCER EVERY NIGHT, YESSSS" but no he decides to go to the dorms.

my pout can be seen from fucking space

He does leaves Sayuri in the cafe, which actually made me emotional for a moment.

MEANWHILE

I don't know shit about Akechi but he sasses Makoto, so I'm a fan.

Also, Makoto, idk gurl maybe people get on your case because you fucking suck? It ain't that deep.

Okay, one: RYUJI I AM GONNA GET YOU A FUCKING BALLGAG AND IT WILL BE THE LEAST EROTIC USE OF A BALLGAG IN THE HISTORY OF GAGS. WHY CAN'T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP.

Two: I'm about to vault over this table and throw hands with Makoto. This might be a new landspeed record for a character getting so fucking deeply on my shitlist, this might actually rival Ryoji The Insta-Creep Whomst I Hated in P3P, I despise this girl.

Makoto blackmails the team into going after her target, a mafia group that is going after students.

(I wonder if they are yakuza in the original JPN? I feel like "mafia" sounds extremely weird here. If for some reason you don't wanna call 'em yakuza, even "organized crime" sounds less weird, but what do I know.)

This game is really trying to pitch me on Makoto being in a tough position, but I am a complete no sell on this. I think because I flat out do not buy the idea that she didn't know about Kamoshida when multiple students were going around the school with visible injuries and everyone was talking about Shiho and Ann. Like, if Makoto swore she didn't know, she's either a liar or she's so fucking oblivious to suffering around her, she shouldn't be in a position of authority over anyone and doesn't have a leg to stand on against the Thieves.

Glad the game lets me convey my contempt to her, tbh.

Oh then right after, she digs up Reverie's phone number to call him to thank him.

Makoto, you are a full-ass stalker and we are not friends. You lying to Sojiro to get Reverie's personal cell number to call him is like the cherry on top of your stalker sundae.

Also, through this entire sequence I have squinting at her shirt collar to figure out what that is. It's a B and a J, for Boaz and Jachin, the pillars at the entrance of the Temple of Solomon and framing the High Priestess as she sits sentinel before the veil BLAH BLAH she's the fucking Priestess. In what universe. Whatever.

The only good Priestess I have seen in Persona thus far is Fuuka. As discussed previously, Yosuke was P4's real Priestess.

If she's not the Priestess and her collar stands for, like.... Japanese Baseball, I will uninstall this game.

Anyway, I started Temperance.

Mostly because I wanna know what the fuck is going on here and is it deeper than some asshats at Atlus going "what if we combined our Maid Kink with our Hot For Teacher Kink!!!!!"

Also oh my god when the fuckign framing device thing kicked in and Sae was like "YOU MUST HAVE HAD HELP AT SCHOOL" i about fucking died.

The framing device of this game unfortunately takes Sae, who had a great introduction, and makes her seem like an idiot.

........ GOD could you IMAGINE if this game had The Fox?

SAE: "It seems like you were seen at the shrine on a regular basis. You MUST HAVE HAD CURRIED THE FAVOR OF THE GODS. Who helped you????"

LOOK AT HER FUCKING FACE I'M CRYING. I almost flung my Odin away in terror. PUT THAT AWAY!

Do you... want me to play along? How much is this a chosen job and how much is necessity?

I hate to be That Guy but if this.... is actually a line of work Kawakami enjoys, that would be very Temperance of her. Taking subconscious desire and want, and connecting it to material needs like money. Temperance would be the card of "getting paid for what you enjoy doing," honestly?

But who even fucking KNOWS. In P3P I literally Noped out of the Temperance SLink and in P4G I never got to rank 3. I figure I owe Atlus to follow ONE of the routes so why not the one that raises the most alarm bells! For fun!

Meanwhile, Mishima continues to be a crisis case waiting to pop off and I just wanna scream.

And then. Oh. He's in Kichijoji? AKA my favorite location? HM.

Am I being fucking punked? Or doxxed? What is happening here?

I mean... again, the Jake English vibes are bananas through the fucking roof, but he's also a master of billiards and a (so far subtle) flash bastard about it?

This is not helped by the fact that if I were to assign, uh, a Certain Character I Wrote In A Story a major Arcana, Justice would be one of the best options for him.

Anyway uh. Okay. I'm paying attention now.

Even if he is still Beige as all hell.

Last note for this post, I finally kicked off Yusuke's link and

damn Sae you fucking got me, we were having Yusuke make counterfeit copies of high-value TCG cards and sold them on the black market to fund our work, YOU FUCKIN CAUGHT ME

I don't even know how to deal with Yusuke being the fucking Emperor. What the fuck is his domain? The art world at large? How the fuck does he exert power over that? Also, like, if that were his domain, that's more a Hierophant thing than an Emperor thing--

MY POINT IS, I DON'T THINK IN THESE THREE GAMES YET I HAVE BEEN SO BAFFLED BY AN ARCANA CHOICE. I can see Magician, Hermit, Priestess, Strength, even the Hanged Man if you wanna be Spicy. Ooh, or the Star, he'd be a GREAT Star.

The fuckign EMPEROR?

Is the game gonna pull another rabbit out of its hat and convince me "oh yeah he the emperor" like it did with Kanji? STAY TUNED, TRUE BELIEVERS but the odds are not in their favor. oh my god, Yusuke as the Emperor, I'm fucking flabbergasted. What the hell.

[hardyslave]

HOW THEY EAT YOU OUT

Includes: Alfie Solomons, Thomas Shelby

Warnings: NSFW, Smut, female oral receiving ?

A/N: request some headcanons to me, hope y’all enjoy this even tho i thought of it at like 3 am

alfie

- his favorite is when you’re folded in half, ass up in the air with your pussy lined up to the ceiling

- and he’s eating you out like a man starved, lewd and loud noises as he shamelessly groans into you

- his arms are wrapped around your lower body to stop you from moving

- apart from that he’d do it anywhere at anytime

- when he craved for the taste of you he’d just beckon you over to his office while he’s doing work

- sits you on top of his desk and just eats you out

- sometimes he just does it because he just wants to lick and suck to his hearts desire until your brain goes mushy for him

- would slap and pinch your clit because he loves your reaction to it

- most of the time he overstimulates you, because he wants to taste your slick over and over again

- “give me one more, pet. it’s the last one, okay? fuckin’ come all over me, yeah?”

- but a lot of the times he also edges you until you’re begging for him

- both of them ends up with you having tears in your eyes

- which alfie loves

tommy

- is a tease

- very precise with his movements

- every curl of his fingers and flicks of his tongue make you go wild

- doesn’t have a particular favorite manner of eating you out, just wants to see your face while he does

- loves it when you tug at his hair, whining out his name

- mostly gives oral because of your reactions rather than the taste

- he still loves the taste tho

- but your blissed out face was better for him to watch

- gets off on you begging and sobbing for him

- “what are you crying for, eh? you wanted this didn’t you?”

- sadistic mf

- edges you with his fingers and tongue as a punishment

- always knows when you’ll come, so he’d literally stop before you do

- great at it because he’s a manwhore experienced :)

- mostly does in in the bedroom tho, sometimes in his office

- secretly loves you sitting on his face and taking over his movements, wouldn’t admit to it though

- masochistic mf

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Brothers and Side Characters Play the Sims

I don’t know what possessed me to make this but WHATEVER. I’ve been playing the Sims since I was a wee little girl, and I’ve seen my fair share of weird Sims stuff that I feel would fit these bozos perfectly.

My Sims have a Functional Family Life Because I Don’t (Lucifer)

God dammit Levi’s obsessed with another game... ugh.

Spends 5 minutes in Create-a-Sim and hops into a starter home.

Lucifer’s the type to start with all the average stuff and then build their stuff up as his sim gets promotions.

It’s just... so peaceful...

...he’s adopting a dog.

Look at his new little virtual family... his sim-kids are self sufficient and getting A’s in school, his Sim spouse MC or Diavolo take your pick loves his Sim-self, his sim-dog-

WAIT NO- THE DOG’S AN ELDER?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

...

He’s fine. It was just a virtual dog. *sniffle*

He’s now spending his free time drinking Demonus and playing the Sims.

What’s a mod? Levi why does your sim have gun?

Behold, My Gorgeous Home... It’s a Box (Mammon)

Mammon, like the rest of the HOL, is mooching off of Levi’s Origin account.

“AW SHIT! This house looks awesome! I’m gonna build it for Sim-me to live in!”

Mammon proceeds to build a box with rooms. Yay...

He just picks the funnest sounding job if he picks any job at all for his Sim. That’s how he ended up making 9 dollars an hour in the criminal career.

Didn’t stop Mammon from buying that solid gold bathroom set from Get Famous... a box with solid gold bathrooms.

His Sim is broke send help-

“Leviiiiiii my sim needs money... the people my sim kidnapped and is forcing to paint aren’t making enough money...” “Ugh... press control shift C and type ‘motherlode’.”

...Levi made a mistake.

“FUCK YEAH! MOTHERLODE!”

His sim’s life is so chaotic, he has a piranha pool that his sim has almost died in twice, the sim is carrying on several torrid love affairs, his sim got struck by lightning, his sim has nearly died in a grilled cheese making accident twice... in the same day.

At least once Sim-Mammon and Sim-MC get married things calm down a little.

Mammon finds out what custom content is and proceeds to download EVERYTHING HE CAN FIND.

And now he’s asking Levi why his computer is running so slow.

Expansion Pack King (Leviathan)

He got into it back when the Sims 2 was new, he’s a veteran fan.

“Bro remember when Agnes Crumplebottom would show up and whack the shit out of your sims if they were flirting?”

“Remember when that witch would show up randomly on the lot you were on if you had Makin’ Magic?”

“Remember when Bella Goth was abducted by aliens and we just... didn’t question it?”

He whines about the Sims4 and how crappy it is but still buys every expansion pack, game pack, and stuff pack.

This boy watches like 40 hours of built tutorials and ends up sobbing over his weird roofs.

“WHY DOESN’T IT LOOK AS NICE AS THE ONE I’M LOOKING AT?! THIS ISN’T FAIR!”

The mod folder is so full istg-

Levi gets custom content for the sole purpose of making his favourite fictional characters.

This is why Henry and the Lord of Shadows are married and Ruri-chan and Sim-Levi are roommates.

Oh my god they were roommates-

Levi also added his brothers to the world and uh... Sim-Mammon died in a tragic pool accident F.

Levi then proceeded to befriend the Grim Reaper.

He’s anxiously awaiting the release of Paralives.

Wait Gameplay? In This Build Simulator? (Satan)

Satan’s here to build and leave. Gameplay who?

Our favourite bundle of rage is a master architect and the amount of followers on the Gallery he has shows it.

He takes up those build shell challenges and always ends up making them look positively perfect.

Asmo’s always using his houses, and Satan often takes requests when he gets bored.

No Mammon, he reserves the right to refuse to build a golden castle for you- YOUR SIM HAS 40 SIMOLEONS-

No mods, no CC, he’s building with what EA gave him.

...and EA gave him debug objects, and he’s not going to explain how to get them.

The one time he did actually play with a family... it was one sim and seven cats.

He tries to play without cheats... and ends up getting frustrated and turns on cheats.

All hail the Pets Expansion Pack.

Custom Content Soap Opera (Asmodeus)

Asmo spends 5 hours in Create a Sim then just... clicks out of the game.

That’s how it goes most of the time, buuuuuut when he gets super invested in a family he’s made, boy howdy is he INVESTED.

Sim A is carrying on an affair with Sim C who’s in love with Sim B who’s married to Sim A but Sim D wants to kill Sim A and C even though they’re the illegitimate child of Sim C-

When Asmo realizes that in the Sims 4 he needs to manufacture all the drama himself and he can’t just sit back with a glass of wine and watch the fireworks, he switches to the Sims 2 and 3.

“...why is this old lady beating up my Sim..?”

He immediately recoils in horror upon seeing how ugly the Sims are pre Sims4.

HE NEEDS TO FIX THIS-

Ah, there we go, perfect. Custom Content to the rescue!

He ends up remaking the entire world just so he doesn’t have to look at weird looking Sims.

Asmo is the only one to have finished a proper Legacy Challenge, but it gets crazy chaotic after gen 3.

“My sim just got abducted by aliens and now he’s pregnant- WHAT?!”

He has about 40 saves and only two he actually plays.

Just a Big Ol’ Happy Family (Beelzebub)

Beel found the game, proceeded to make everyone in create-a-sim to the best of his abilities, and made everyone get along.

That’s why Sim-Lucifer and Sim-Belphie are on a swing set together, they’re friends :D

“Hey Luke do you think you can make this?” “I-is that a cake shaped like a hamburger?” “Yes. Please make.”

He took one look at the cooking options and decided to max out his Sim’s cooking skill to unlock all the options.

Beel proceeded to drool all over his keyboard. Gross...

Boy howdy did he have some crazy dinner suggestions!

Overall, very wholesome Sim-life, except for the time Sim-Levi died because the toilet caught fire, don’t worry, Sim-Beel knows how to make ambrosia.

All is good in the Sim save...

...until Sim-Beel ate pufferfish nigiri and fuckin died-

Wait Did I Not Pause- (Belphie)

Huh, this game looks fine... I’ll play for a little- *SNORE*

Belphie makes some sims, plops them into a starter home, plays for an hour, then falls asleep.

He wakes up five hours later to absolute carnage.

Three sims have died because someone decided to make Mac and Cheese and the oven caught fire, the kids were taken away by social services, and the dog ran away.

“...heheh, holy shit everyone look.”

He doesn’t play often, but when he does, death occurs. He has found out every death method for every game from Sims 2 to 4.

And that INCLUDES the Sims Medieval! You guys remember that game?

Sometimes it’s not intentional, but Belphie got bored with the totally normal life his sims were living and decided to spice it up.

“Why are the ghosts breaking my showers..?”

Help There’s a Bug- (Diavolo)

The Crown Prince started playing when he noticed Lucifer was playing it.

He was immediately obsessed.

Dia mostly plays the Sims Medieval because he likes the feeling of achievement after completing a quest!

“Barbatos... why isn’t my Sim completing their task? The icon won’t show up.” “My lord it appears the game is bugged.” “:(“

No one thought to tell Diavolo that EA doesn’t plan on offering bug support to a game made in like... 2009

This doesn’t matter! Look at how great his kingdom is doing- oh no his hero has the plague-

He plays through the Pirates and Nobles expansion and manages to get the peaceful ending, he’s so proud of himself.

“MC! Look! My Monarch’s sword is permanently on fire and I’m fighting an evil wizard!”

When he does play the other Sims games he’s pretty basic, though, he does a great job at furnishing!

Dia gets crazy sad when his Sims die... he turns off aging.

Builder no. 2 (Barbatos)

Barbie doesn’t have time for this... but when he does, he builds.

No create a sim.

No playing the game as intended.

Just builds.

It’s relaxing, okay? A nice little suburban house he’s never going to play in, maybe a treehouse, maybe a big Hollywood Mansion...

The only time he actually plays the game outside of build mode is when someone needs his help to fix something in-game.

He does download custom content build items if he feels bored by the current selection.

Oh Crap What Am I Doing?! (Simeon)

Help him. Please.

He’s so confused.

“Luke, why is my sim upset?” “He’s hungry, Simeon.” “Oh, how do I fix that?” “...Simeon-”

There’s a toilet in the middle of the living room.

The fridge is facing the wall.

There’s no bathtub or shower.

The house is on fire- there is no god- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Okay, once he gets the hang of it he’s sitting pretty. His sims have good jobs, the kids are getting good grades, everything’s fine.

...

But Simeon won’t forget the nightmares.

What Even is This Save? (Solomon)

Solomon’s save is the definition of chaos.

One sim’s a vampire, the other is a spellcaster that really wants to fight the Callientes for some reason, there’s one normal sim that’s always sick for some reason,

It gets weird, confusing, and horrible.

Just how Solomon likes it.

His house makes no sense, like, what even is architecture?

Money cheats are needed because Solomon‘a goal of chaos and confusion is proving to be kind of expensive.

Square up Mortimer Goth, Solomon’s sims are here to steal your weird knight statue that’s worth a shit ton of simoleons for NO REASON.

He joined the scientist career for the sole purpose of getting to the alien planet and kidnapping adding an alien to the household via cheats.

The vampire ended up dying on their wedding day because Solomon forgot that he gave them the sun weakness.

Oh well, the ghost got added to the household! VAMPIRE GHOST!

The Child (Luke)

Before you say Luke’s too young to play the Sims, you should know that I was nine when I first started playing, and I turned out fiiiiiiiiiine.

He’s just happy to be playing.

Look, his sims are gardening :D

Look, two of them are getting married :D

Look, they had a baby :D

Look, his sims are building a rocket ship :D

Look, his sims’s rocket just crashed-

The concept of death hit the little angel right in the face that day.

“*sniffle*... my sims...”

Don’t worry, with tears in his eyes, Luke quit without saving and everything was fine!

Speaking of My Sims, Luke played MySims Sky Heroes and that was when Luke had his first bout of gamer rage.

MC came over to hang out with Solomon and Simeon, and in the distance they could just hear:

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY TIME WASN’T FAST ENOUGH TO CONTINUE THE STORY!? I’LL SHOW YOU FAST ENOUGH TIME!”

Okay, maybe Simeon should take the game away... just for a bit... he should take heed not to be bitten by the incredibly angry chihuahua.

Bonus:

MC: Why are our Sims married?

*Insert Boy Here*: Uh... that’s weird... I have no clue why they’re doing that...

[malewife-central]

None of them can tower over me when I kick them in the knees

PFFT

I imagine that like...okay okay

lemme just

How the Obey me! Boys would respond to getting kicked in the knees after teasing their S/o

Lucifer would be able to easily dodge your kicks and he would find it really cute that you’re such a fire-cracker. “How adorable~”

Mammon is a whiny baby so of course when you kick at him he whines and does his best to make you feel bad...all just for cuddles smh 😒. “Mc! How could you! Now you owe the great Mammon hugs! n- not like I want you to hug me or nothin! 😳”

Leviathan would probably be really upset with you for kicking at him so I’d put him in the whiny baby category...please be nice to him 🥺. “Mc! How could you! You’re such a mean normie! >:’(“

With Satan you might think it’d be a death wish but if he was teasing you? Then he was already in a good mood, he was also prepared for your reaction so he found it amusing at how angry you got. “My, my, Why are you so angry darling? Surely you’re not angry at me~”

Asmodeus is very dramatic so of course when you kick at him he whines and pretends to cry at how “mean 🥺” you are. “Mccccc! I was only teasing! You’re so mean😭”

Beelzebub wouldn’t tease you for your height often... If he did he was probably prepared for your reaction...Mans will continue to tease you by pretending to be innocent...All in all will chuckle at your reaction and just tease you more. “No need to get so upset Cupcake~ It’s not my fault you’re so tiny and adorable~”

Belphegor is a different story...He’s always teasing you and when he finally finds the thing that sets you off? game over. He’s never gonna let it go fuckin bastard💖 “Hey shortie~ What’s the matter? You’re acting more like a chihuahua than Luke does >:)”

Diavolo would easily dodge your attack and chuckle at your antics, Would he stop teasing you? absolutely not. “You’re so tiny it’s adorable!”

of course Barbatos would be able to dodge because he could see what was coming. He would most likely pull you into a dip, just to throw you off. “Did you really think you could throw me off my dear?~”

Solomon, that bastard...He’d find out that you hate being called short and he’d practically make is his life goal to bully you about your height. “What’s up half-pint! How’s the weather down there? >:)”

Simeon may act like he’s innocent but I know better...He’ll make sure to constantly tease you for your height...And he might just write your adorable reactions (and expressions!) into his newest book. “What’s the matter, little Angel?~”

Sorry this took me so long ehxusjsje I wanted to make sure this came out nicely...I also wanted to make fun of you >:)

[solomonish]

Dork Solomon Agenda

You say sexy shady sorcerer I say nerd and love of my life

Solomon is a sad lonely little man why just wants a genuine connection us that so much to ask???

No but seriously like. It's totally fine if you hc Solomon as this man-turned-lowkey-sex-god with a million succubi and more at his whim whenever he wants and would be a tough one to put the ol' ball and chain on like to each their own for sure! But that's not MY hc

(Thats not to say my hc means he doesn't ever engage in casual sex like that and wanting a genuine long term relationship at some point [or finding out thats what you want when you meet someone] are not mutually exclusive yknow)

So like Solomon isn't the type to be short with you or keep you at an arm's length (i mean...u get what I mean. Once you're close enough and all that jazz) or get annoyed by you wanting to be affectionate?? Hello??

He LOVES the little things you do (some on accident tbh). You feeling affectionate today and give him a kiss or three on his face before you leave to go to your separate classes? Adorable, he's fallen in love again. You do that thing where you like.. forget how to walk straight and just accidentally bump into him? No come back he likes being close to you :( He doesn't SAY these things but there's a light, airy laugh he has that gives him away.

If you're ever facetiming he will say "boo!" when you connect instead of just. Greeting you like a normal person.

His fuckin. His devilgram name is monSOLO. My mans is a star wars fan!!! I dont know any of The Discourse bc I'm not super into star wars myself but he has IN DEPTH opinions about the movies. Seriously rivals Levi in this aspect. Please make time for movie nights where you watch the movies together 🥺 especially if you haven't seen them before he'd love to convert you 🥺

Didn't Solomon also have a thing for TSL??? Or am I just imagining it??

I feel like his ideal date would be exploring something new, whether its this new spooky forest or "hey have we been down this alley before? Let's check it out!" but ideal date number TWO is movie night. Even if it isn't Star Wars. He likes to sit on opposite ends of the couch throwing popcorn into each other's mouths (and big candies like peanut m&ms where you both have almost choked before) and maybe a footsie war if he's feeling real devious. Then at some point you grab a blanket and snuggle up to him and you both fall asleep on the couch

Simeon yells at him when you leave because there's popcorn EVERYWHERE

LOVES when you laugh super loud. Idk man he just thinks its great when you have such unbridled joy and then he laughs too 😊 not as loud though he's more of a quiet chuckle kind of guy (most of the time).

Is friends with Asmo so is extremely great at slumber party gossip. Catch him in his pajamas, cross-legged on the floor while clutching a pillow to his chest and listening intently to you rant about the brothers.

"Come here I have a secret to tell you" (blows air in your ear) "okay okay I'm sorry but come here again" (blows air on your neck) "okay okay last time! I actually have something to tell you. Please? Its important...." (kisses ur cheek) "like u a lil bit xo"

Never the type to send "good morning beautiful" or "good night 💞" texts. Instead he'll send you something at 4 am like "the infinite cosmos will eventually swallow whole all familiarity and life as it is now presently known and despite the adaptations humans or demons or angels could make i will still have to adapt and face the world as an alien in the realm I love so dearly. Funny how the strongest of beings bow to the whim of space and time. But sometimes my eternal journey doesn't seem so daunting when I realize that with my everlasting life will be the memory of you no matter how distant and the survival of the vessel you loved...."

And then at lunch that day when the brothers pull you away he'll send you a picture of the lasagna they're serving with "this kinda looks like you? Don't worry I'd still hit it" and then two minutes later "you not the pasta"

Is the type to think randomly "oh damn I love you so much" but has an impressive filter about it. Or he thinks he does until Luke grumbles "ugh get a room thats the fifth time you've seen that since monday" ok, sometimes he has a good filter about it

He can't help it! Sometimes you just say something really smart (or something SPECTACULARLY dumb) or you do something cute like lean on him or smile a specific way or-

Sir.....you're head over heels sir :/

The type who would go to a playground at night with you and just swing on the swings talking about life

Wants to have a secret handshake with you!!

If you're ever on a road trip with just the two of you, you can get him to join in on the terrible singing but he'll be a lot quieter than you

Also will only join in if he isn't driving. If he is and you aren't talking, he's just humming underneath his breath. Will drum on the steering wheel though

Cooking

(Yes, it gets its own section because MAYBE I'm obsessed with the idea of MC teaching Solomon to cook and the food still turning out terrible but at least it isn't a void when MC is helping)

The type to flick water at you every time he washes his hands. Will chase you down just to do it.

"Hey, tilt your head back and open your mouth MC" (proceeds to dump too big a handful of shredded cheese in your mouth)

100% the type to lean over you just to hinder your cooking abilities. Who cares if the sauce splashes he's tiiiired.... you'd let belphie do it :(

Puts a hand on your lower back when he passes behind you. Hopes you'll lean into it/step back and offer him a kiss 🥺

Believes in always having a proper table setting. Prepare for whatever juice they have (or water) in wine glasses if you're having a nice-er meal

Under the assumption that a spell ruined his sense of taste (and not that he's just bad at cooking) he hates spicy food. He can feel the burn but he gets none of the flavor??? Wack. Don't hurt him like that MC. If you do because its hilarious to watch him try to be cool about it he will pout

Gets cheesy aprons. He just likes them.

Will hit you on the top of your head with a whisk to hear the noise it makes

Will buy every kitchen hack tool there is. A ketchup dispenser that looks like a gun? He's got it. A fish that helps you squeeze out the egg yolks? Yes! A dinosaur soup ladle? You bet! Pizza scissors? A tool that makes hard boiled eggs into cubes? Something that's gotta be like 200 years old and no discernable purpose? Absolutely! He wants a hot dog toaster. Do they even have hot dogs in the devildom?

Will sneak bites just because it bothers you

Overall

Look at him. He hasn't had friends in centuries. He's playful!

Look at his DEVILGRAM NAME

His funky little WAND

This is a man who is a huge nerd, thrives off of cliches and just wants to have a good time. So let him! Its mentally exhausting having those pretenses up all the time.

[spicytrashthe1st]

Obey me boys reaction to a demon hunter Mc

Lucifer

When he first finds out he's like "pft, how can this weak bitch like u take me down?", and then he sees u get into a figth w/ one of ur classmate's. Lucifer now finds u a bit intimidating, but only a bit, he totally hasnt squeaked when uv entered his peripherals like a phantom.

Mammon

Guess whoes on bodyguard duty? Yeah buddy, its u!

But for realies. Mam's is confused as to why he's been set up to be ur protector when ur clearly capable. Kinda feels usless in a way bc of this, not that he'd admit it. One time u catch him "sulking" n ask whats up. Once uv wrangled it outta him u have to laugh, but when u see his sad ol' Mammon eyes u become somber n tell him "of course i need u, who else is gonna watch my back?". Are u sure Mam's is a demon cause he's shining like the fuckin sun right now. Will he brag to everyone about this? U bet ur goddamn ass he will.

Leviathan

He thinks its cool. Keeps comparing u to anime characters which gets annoying at times, but he's so cute when he gets excited so u let it pass.

Considering he's a Lord n everything i dont think he'd get bullied, however, no one hurts ur otaku waifu, no one.

Satan

Gee 20 question sure is a longer game then u remember.

Might ask u to fight him for science. Might do some other things for science to 😉

Asmodeus

Will make euphemisms about ur weapons.

Loves to be carried around by u, makes him feel like a princess.

No one touches ur beloved w/ his say so lest they lose they're hands. Not gonna lie, he finds it extremely attractive when u go all protective n shit.

Beelzebub

Loves to spare/workout w/ u, its rare to find someone on his level. U make him a smoothy bowl one time n he loves it so much that he has to hug u.

Belphegor

Thinks its a joke. The brat is arrogant up until the point where he tries to kill u, yes u heard me right, tries. U hug him bc hugs r great, then he goes to squeeze u n like nothin is happening. He tries again, still nothin. He pulls away n has a tantrum about it before goin full demon. U hulk smash "puny demon" his ass. Once hes got the fight outta his system u thow him over ur shoulder n take him downstairs to see the fam.

Sometimes when ur bored u hover over him in his sleep to see him startel when he opens his eyes. Never gets old.

Diavolo

Pick him up please. The man likes to be held.

Also likes to spar, altho its more like play fightin most days.

One time at a social event u see that he's in detress as the nobles corner him so u just push past them w/ zero fuck, pick him up, and then take him to get sundaes.

Another time ur just staring off into space when someone makes an assassination attempt. U wait for anyone to spot them but apparently demon cant see 'em. So u sigh n kick their ass, rippin off the amulet they were wearin to reveal it was old man rivers the entire time, good job Scooby-doo.

Barbatos

Loves to have u around when doin chores. "Would u be a dear and hold this?" Is a common occurrence, does he say it about himself sometimes just so ull hold him? Yes.

Sometimes he catches a brief glance at u while ur sparing w/ the young lord. Hes looking respectfully of course.

Simeon

Thinks its cute

Has to drag u away from Luke most of the time bc the kid keeps askin when ur gonna kill the demon lords in a not so subtle way.

Solomon

"Is that so?"

Uv peaked his curiosity, run.

[nineteenninety-six]

A Stray and A Baby

This wasn’t meant to be so long but at the same time, it was meant to be longer so lol. Repost since tumblr sucks

(Y/N) had heard soft meowing ever since she had woken up but despite looking around, she could find where it was coming from. They didn’t have a cat so there it was definitely not coming from within in the house and she had checked the back garden to the best of her abilities but she couldn’t find anything there either and Cyril was off with Alfie so it wasn’t anything he could have possibly dragged in. 

The meowing had continued for the entire day and it was driving (Y/N) crazy as she tried to figure out where it was coming from but being pregnant had hindered her from turning the place upside down trying to look for it, so she waited until Alfie returned home, hoping that he would be able to help her.

.•° ✿ °•.

Alfie came through the front door just as (Y/N) finished dinner like clockwork. He fed Cyril his dinner and washed his hands before he joined her at the kitchen table and they completed dinner in between asking how each other's day was. 

Just as Alfie stood up to take their empty plates to the kitchen, (Y/N) heard the meowing again.

“Alf, wait! Can you hear that?” 

Alfie paused and once again there was a meow, “Sounds like ah cat”

“Mmh” (Y/N) agreed, “I’ve been hearing it all day but I haven’t been able to find out where it’s coming from.”

“Where have you been looking?”Alfie asked as he made his way into the kitchen.

“I don’t think it’s coming from within the house so I checked the back garden but I couldn’t see anything”

“You haven’t checked the front?”

(Y/N) shook her head.

Alfie let out a hefty sigh as he walked towards the front door, “Well, c’mon then, I know you won’t let this go unless you find the thing that’s causing the noise”

(Y/N) grinned as she pulled on her coat and slipped on her outside shoes as she followed him.

The two of them paced in front of their house, making noises in hopes that the cat reacted but no cat appeared. They got odd looks from people walking down the street but they didn’t care. 

Just as they were about to give up, a shuffling noise came from one of their bins and (Y/N) made her way over to investigate. When she peered into the bin, she gasped at what she saw, 

“Alfie, it’s a kitten!”

She reached into the bin to try and take it out but the scared kitten freaked out causing the bin to topple over to its side.

(Y/N) let out a small whine before she got ready to bend down and pick up the cat but Alfie interrupted her before she could.

“Ah fuck, don’t bend down” Alfie called out, “I’ll do my back out trying to help you up and then we’ll be both stuck on the fucking floor”

“You wouldn’t try calling for help?”

“And ruin my reputation? No fucking way”

“So you’d just let your heavily pregnant wife stay on the ground until what? You’re able to get up or one of the neighbours finds us”

“Nah, I’ll send Cyril to go get Ollie”

(Y/N) laughed at that, “If anything, Cyril will join us on the ground, thinking it was a cuddle session”

“Fucking dog” Alfie agreed with a grumble, “Stay here, I’ll be back in two minutes”

(Y/N) waited like instructed but made attempts to coax the kitten out which failed but just like he said, two minutes later, Alfie returned with a little parcel of ham, still wrapped like how the butcher gave it to them, meaning that Alfie took the ham straight from their cooler. 

Alfie tore a little piece of the sliced ham off and chucked it near the mouth of the toppled bin and together they waited to see if the kitten ate it. It took awhile but the kitten did slowly creep out and eat the piece of ham. It gobbled it up as it had no doubt been starving.

Alfie chucked another piece down and the cat quickly ate that up too. Alfie created a trail of pieces of ham that lead into the kitchen and the kitten followed the trail until they were in the kitchen.  Once they finished the last piece of ham, the cat looked up at them in suspicion, cautious of everything.

“What do we do with them, Alf?”

Alfie turned to her with a scrunched brow, “You’re the one who wanted to bring the damn cat inside and now you’re asking me what to do with the bloody thing? Fuckin’ hell”

“Alfie..” (Y/N) whined. Her back, feet and ankles were killing her and the last thing she wanted to do was get into an extended discussion with him.

Alfie saw the exhaustion and pain on her face and backed down, “We give it the rest of the ham and see what it wants to do tomorrow.”

(Y/N) nodded and they left the rest of the same with the cat and went to bed, Cyril right behind them.

.•° ✿ °•.

The next morning, (Y/N) found the kitten curled up underneath one of the chairs in the kitchen. It bathed in the morning sun, it’s dark fur appearing almost brown. It didn’t even stir as (Y/N) moved around the kitchen making breakfast for herself and Alfie and she also set out some food for them as well, in case they woke up. 

Cyril tiptoed into the kitchen, right behind (Y/N) but his focus was on the small cat. The way he moved around it, avoiding it, was almost like he was afraid of the tiny thing and did his best to stay out of their way.

“Where’s the little bastard then?” Alfie asked as he entered the kitchen, collecting the cup of tea that (Y/N) held out for him.

“Underneath the chair” (Y/N) nodded towards it, “Still sleeping”

“Hm,” Alfie let out an unamused grunt before he downed his tea and put his coat on.

“I’ll be back by dinner” He wrapped (Y/N) in a hug and gave her a kiss, “Be careful. Stay off your feet.”

“I will.”

After one last kiss, Alfie was out of the door with Cyril and (Y/N) retreated to the living room to read the newspaper. An hour or so later, the kitten padded into the room, sniffing at the furniture as they walked around, getting used to its environment. (Y/N) stayed still and silent, not wanting to spook the cat and watched as they walked around before silently coming to a stop in front of her.

(Y/N) tapped the seat next to her, unable to bend over due to her belly and the cat took the hint and jumped up. She held out her fingers allowing the cat to sniff at it and when the cat rubbed their head underneath her fingers, (Y/N) took it as a hint to pet them, which the cat enjoyed pleasantly. 

Over the next week, the cat had gotten accustomed to the house, they mostly stayed on the windowsill enjoying the sun or was curled up next to (Y/N)’s feet. The cat, which they still hadn’t named was a comforting presence in the house as (Y/N) got closer to her supposed due date. 

.•° ✿ °•.

(Y/N) had the biggest grin on her face as held her son in her arms, despite how exhausted she was. Alfie was sitting next to her on the bed with an equally big grin on his face as he looked down at the baby boy.

“He’s amazing” (Y/N) whispered before she looked up at Alfie, “What should we name him?”

“Benjamin.” Alfie had tears in his eyes as he spoke, “Benjamin Solomons.”

“Hello, Ben” (Y/N) cooed but the baby merely pursed his lips as he continued sleeping.

The door to their room creaked open and the cat, which they named Lucy, crept in before jumping on the bed. Alfie moved to go shoo that cat away but (Y/N) stopped him, Lucy had settled at the end of the bed, far away enough from the baby, so she saw no harm in her being there.

Over the next few days after Ben was born, Lucy was constantly next to (Y/N) whenever she had in her arms, twisting around her feet or sat in an adventurous position that gave her a great view of (Y/N) and the baby and whenever Ben was in his cot, Lucy will be curled up, right by the legs of the cot, as if she was standing guard. 

As he grew, wherever Benjamin was, Lucy would be right next to him.

.•° ✿ °•.

1 YEAR LATER

One year old Benjamin toddled into the kitchen where his mother was preparing lunch, Lucy right behind him as his bare feet slapped against the floor informed (Y/N) of his arrival. It also told her that he pulled off his socks for the 5th time that day.

Ben had learnt to walk a few weeks ago and most alternated between walking and crawling to get around.

He took a few steps forward before he reached her and clung to her skirt and looked up at her with the eyes he shared with his father, “Lun’?”

At the same time, Lucy stopped in front of her food bowl and meowled at (Y/N), no doubt asking the thing Ben had asked.

“Give me a moment Lucy, let me get Ben’s food ready first and then I’ll feed you”

“S’Alright” Alfie stepped into the small kitchen, his cane clicking against the floor, “Give me him and I’ll get him sorted”

Ben looked over at his father with a bright smile, “Da!”

Alfie’s back had been playing up recently so he wasn’t able to bend down and pick Ben up, so (Y/N) picked him up and placed him in his fathers arm. 

When they disappeared into the dining room, (Y/N) bent down and gave Lucy a few loving scratches and pets, “You’re the best, Lucy. I love you very much”

Lucy let out a meow as if she understood her words and (Y/N) gave her one more pat before she put her food in the bowl and left her to eat. 

(Y/N) washed her hands and collected the plates filled with their lunch and joined her family in the dining room, leaving the door slightly open knowing that when Lucy was finished, she’d join them, or more accurately, go back to Ben’s side. 

[gnocchighoul]

The boys (+undateables?) reactions when they discover MC is actually a vampire?

....so I’m a dingus and didn’t realize that this was also for the undateables and just wrote it for the brothers, my bad 😅 Part two maybe? 👀

WARNING: as this is about vampires, it’s a little bit morbid. I strayed away from being too graphic, but y’know. Vampires. There’s death and blood and such. 

Enjoy! :D

~

Lucifer

In hindsight, he really should have figured it out on his own.

But it’s not like he’s been around enough humans lately to know what Normal human behavior is. 

So he just kinda took your... quirks at face value.

So what if you’re far too comfortable with the Devildom’s constant state of nighttime? Solomon doesn’t seem to mind it either, so maybe humans are just more nocturnal now.

And perhaps your Very Strong aversion to garlic is a little odd, but Mammon wouldn't eat it either for the first 600 years of his life, so it’s not that weird.

You’re also not phased by constantly being surrounded by demons and monsters, which is a little strange, but maybe you’re just like the ancient greeks. A monster fucker.

You feeling right at home in the Devildom is auspicious for the exchange program, so he doesn’t bother dwelling on it.

Though maybe he does find it a little bit weird when you really insist that he start drinking cranberry juice.

(It’s just for health benefits of course, totally has nothing to do with you prepping your next meal)

So what, you may ask, triggers his big lightbulb moment?

You fall off the roof.

And you just get right back up.

Now he knows that humans aren’t supposed to be THAT durable, so he stops you from scaling the side of the fucking house with your bare hands, and very eloquently asks you, “What the fuck?” 

You shake him off. “What? Mammon and I are playing roof-ball.” 

Lucifer stares. “You fell. I saw how hard you hit the ground. You should be dead.”

You laugh. “Dead? Just from a little fall like that? Are you serio-ohhh wait. You don’t know, do you?” 

You give him your biggest, cheesiest grin and—oh. 

Fangs.

...And now he understands why you want him to drink cranberry juice.

Mammon

You are, by far, the weirdest human he’s ever met. 

Which is saying something, because Solomon is literally just a few blocks away.

Seriously, despite camping out in your room nearly every single night, Mammon has never seen you sleep, he’s pretty fucking sure that sometimes you don’t even breathe, you won’t step foot into the House of Lamentation unless someone invites you in, and who the hell hates garlic that much?? 

But you’ve also expressed your intense dislike for crosses, so he supposes that you’re not unredeemable. 

Just weird.

But it’s incredibly annoying how you wont sleep. Your tossin’ and turnin’ is killing him, why the fuck can’t you just settle down? You need to just put your DDD down and sleep already, dammit.

He sits up, ready to tear you a new one—and pauses. 

“Um,” his voice is high, somewhat uncertain, and your eyes snap over to look at him. “Why are you looking at coffins for sale?” 

You sigh, a bit wistfully. “I just can’t stand sleeping in a bed anymore. I didn’t want to be rude, so I really did try, but it's been a couple hundred years since I last had one and it’s just murder on my back. I think I’m gonna just have to get a coffin. They’re so much more comfortable.” 

Briefly, Mammon considers running. 

Instead, he says, “What the fuck?” 

You quirk an eyebrow at him. “You do know I’m a vampire, right?” 

...What the fuck—

Mammon lays back down—crosses his arms over his chest with a huff and pretends that he isn’t totally freaked the fuck out. “‘Course I do, don’t be stupid. Now go to sleep already.” 

So that he can escape before you try to eat him.

“Mammon,” you sing, leaning over the bed to loom over him. He swallows hard—can’t look away from your sharp, toothy grin. 

You coo, “I can hear the scared little pitter patter of your heart, darling.”

He squeaks.

Levi

Honestly, Levi is so so happy to have another irl friend who’s into video games that he looks past your strangeness.

You like to stay indoors and play games!! That’s something he has in common with you that his brothers don’t, and that’s all that matters!

...Though he does find it a little weird how sometimes you just kinda sniff him. 

The first dozen times he nearly had a heart attack, and when he asked why you were doing it, he Really wasn't expecting you to shrug and say “I dunno, you just smell tasty” 

Seriously. Tasty? Are you Beel or something, what’s that supposed to mean?!

He’s not entirely sure why you’re a bit of a shut in gamer though, because despite your, ah, quirks, you’re still so much cooler than he is, so what’s the deal with that?

When he asks, you just shrug and say, “Old habits die hard, I guess. Real sunshine hurts, but virtual doesn’t, so I just got kinda used to living through games and staying indoors.”

“Oh.” Levi’s a bit surprised, but sympathetic. “So, you sunburn easily?” 

He’s not entirely sure why you’re laughing now, since that wasn’t a joke. He was just trying to be friendly :(

But then you hug him and he’s too flustered to be offended anymore jndcks

So, when does it finally click for Levi that you’re a vampire?

You guys are having a game night in his room.

He accidentally takes a sip of your caprisun and realizes, very quickly, that it is not the refreshing juice of a caprisun pouch.

He throws up a little bit.

And screams.

And maybe blacks out for a few seconds.

But when he finally calms down and lets you explain, he’s pretty damn enchanted, because this is just like Help, My Roommate Is A Vampire And I Didn’t Know Until A Vampire-Hunter Mistook Me For Them And Attacked Me!! :D 

Satan

Satan considers himself to be somewhat of a detective, y’know. His brain is just filled to the brim with Big Smarts

Naturally, he puts that jelly thicc thought tank of his to good use and realizes very quickly that you aren’t totally human. 

At first, he isn’t totally sure what you are.

And then a coffin gets delivered to the house, which upon seeing you cheer “Oh sweet, my new bed!!” aaaand he puts the pieces together.

You become somewhat of a case study to him. You’re the first vampire he’s ever encountered and he just wants to know everything and anything about your life.

He’s so intrigued by you.

But you frustrate him SO much.

He wants to know about how you were turned!! It’s not like he has any other vampires that he can ask about their experience!! And you fucking tell him a different story every day!!

“A cat jumped over my deceased body!”

“I was stabbed and the wound wasn’t treated with boiling water!” 

“On a dark and stormy night, I came across a palace and the owner, a hospitable gentleman, let me take refuge there. But then, I quickly realized that I was actually a hostage, and when I tried to escape, that fucker turned me!”

“Nobody put an obolus in my mouth to pay the toll of the Styx, so Charon the ferryman sent me back! What a great guy.” 

“A chupacabra bit me!”

Needless to say, he considers breaking the wooden leg off one of the dining room chairs and stabbing you with it, but the lecture he would get from Lucifer just isn’t worth the effort. 

He’s gonna pull the truth out of you one of these days.

Asmo

“My my, darling, what sharp teeth you have~” Asmo purrs, lifting a finger to brush against them, doe-eyes wide and curious. “The better to eat me with, hopefully?” 

You smile. “Something like that.”

And you fuckin’ bite his finger.

His scream is fantastic. If you actually draw blood next time, maybe he’ll even shatter the windows! 

He swats your leg sharply with a silk folding fan and cries, “What if you had broken my skin!? Do you have any idea how much time and effort goes into maintaining this soft, supple skin?! What’s wrong with you, you psychopath?”

“Don’t hit me,” you pout, scooting away from him. “I couldn’t help it! You just smell so sweet and I haven’t had any blood in a while, so—”

“Huh?” Asmo blinks, looking a bit confused. Then recovers far too quickly and waggles his eyebrows at you. “Oh, so that’s what you’re into! What a pleasant surprise~” 

You thunk him on the back of the head. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you not to tease a vampire?”

Asmo’s grin could rival the sun.

“A vampire?! Well why didn’t you say so sooner?” 

He’s already taking off his shirt.

“Get over here already and take a bite out of me~”

Beel

When he finds out that you’re a vampire, his first thought is to worry over if you can eat normal food or not.

He’s very relieved when you tell him that you can, so long as you’ve had enough blood, but that garlic is a very big no-no.

Naturally, you two bond over how both of you never quite feel full. 

It’s not uncommon for the other house members to find you two laying face down on the floor, tummies rumbling, whining about how you’re staaaaarving

You carry around snacks for him, and Beel makes sure that you’ve always got access to blood (whether that means stashing blood bags, letting you feed from him, or a combo of both ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

He’s probably going to be the least weirded out by your ~undead tendencies~

Honestly, he’s a bit relieved by how strong you are. The last thing he ever wants to do is hurt you or see you get hurt, and it gives him peace of mind when he realizes that you’re actually pretty durable!

But it does give him a fucking heart attack the first time he sees you yeet yourself out a second story window to crush poor, poor unassuming Mammon.

He also really loves how your body temperature naturally runs cold. He’s a space heater, you’re an icicle—it just works. Snuggle time is good :)

He totally compares the size of your incisors with his jkdcnkj

He just thinks you’re really neat!!!

But he is very sympathetic about how you cant eat good garlic bread :(

Belphie

Listen.

We all know this emo boy is a vampire fucker, probably even more so than Asmo.

(He read Twilight. He saw all the movies. He had merch.)

(Fuck Edward and Jacob though, he was Team Alice all the way.)

(If he can stay awake long enough, he reads really shitty vampire romance novels.)

He just thinks vampires are hot, okay? He can’t help that his soul longs to be a vampire fucker.

Just accept it into your heart. Belphie already has.

So needless to say, he’s THRILLED when he finds out that you’re a vampire. He tries to play it cool though and pretends that he isn’t immediately trying to jump your bones dfghjkjh

He overheard you telling Satan that you got bitten by a Chupacabra, and they’re known for going after cows right? 

He is a cowboy, y’know, guess you’re just gonna have to go to him now when you’re thirsty, y’know, since you were bitten by a Chupacabra. it just makes sense, really ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

(No it doesn’t)

(But let’s be real, are you gonna pass up the chance to snuggle the shit out of him AND get a snack out of it? No. No you’re not.)

(He totally makes you arm wrestle Beel to recreate the “Iconic” twilight scene with Emmett and Bella.)

(When he realizes that you’re strong, he’s gonna make you give him piggyback rides, just like Edward and Bella :) and no he doesn’t care how ridiculous you both look)

[fuckingthefictional]

Runaway Lovers

Pairing: Finn Shelby x reader

Warnings: Swearing, suggestions regarding to sex, crap writing?

Requested: yes, part two requested by @hamdehlesmis

A/N: for the part where Finn writes a letter, I’ve made it so the writing is more phonics based. Because I find it unrealistic to have a character who is illiterate to suddenly start reading and writing with the knowledge of perfect grammar and spelling.

Alfie Solomons was a name that struck cold fear into some on the toughest of men.

His cool and calculating gaze was enough to send uneasy chills up anyone’s spine.

He was a man who had red on his ledger and the mighty hand of God on his side.

To most he was a cold and calculating gang leader- with the proclivity of making violent, rash decisions that mainly benefited himself and anyone lucky enough to be considered a friend.

And most were not lucky enough to have that benefit.

Y/N Y/L/N was lucky to be considered a friend- more accurately she was a close relative of the Jewish gang leader.

Alfie’s Mother, was the sister of Y/N’s mother. The two women were close, but drifted apart after they were married to their respective husbands. Only to reunite during the Great War.

That was the first time Y/N had been in proper contact with her mothers side of the family- and thank God she continued to stay in contact with them.

Otherwise her and Finn would’ve been rendered homeless and well and truly fucked.

Y/N forced herself to drag her thoughts away from what would have been, and instead focused on the passing green pasteurs that sped past the train cars window.

The lack of pollution was obvious and made a huge difference. She was able to see the colours of the night sky, along with the scattered stars- such things that felt as if they didn’t exist in Small Heath.

Y/N felt a soft kiss on a stray patch of bare skin below her ear and at the top of her jawline. Finn.

“Stop stressing love, we’ll be okay.”

It was like he had read her mind, “‘m not stressing.” She mumbled into her palm.

“If you aren’t stressing then how come your leg is bouncing?” Finn chuckled as he pressed another kiss to her temple.

Y/N rolled her eyes. Of course he would pick up on the finer details, it was just another reason why she loved him.

It wasn’t long before the train pulled into Camden Town Station. The whole station seemed to be rather empty- apart from one man who seemed to be waiting for the trains arrival.

He was an older gentleman, who had a scraggly beard and clutched a cane. His face was partially covered from the hat that topped his head. But on his chest, he proudly bore a necklace that held the Star of David.

It was Alfie.

He had changed a lot, the pictures that Y/N had been shown of him depicted him to be younger, lacking a beard. But the face was the same.

“Y/N Y/L/N?” The older man addressed her, a slight smirk on his face, “My god ‘ow you’ve grown- I remember when you were a bloody babe.”

She turned to Finn, a soft smile gracing her features, “Love this is Alfie, my cousin.”

Both men shook hands, each of them sizing the other up.

“Thank you for letting us stay with you.” Finn nodded at the older man, “we really appreciate it.”

“‘S nothin’ alright?” Alfie boomed loudly, “any person whose a friend of our Y/N/N is a friend of mine- now let’s get your stuff back to my ‘Ouse ‘ey?”

The two teenagers followed the older man, out of the station, their hands interlocked- ready for this next chapter of their lives.

It was difficult not knowing what their future held. And what they would face in this grey part of their lives, but Finn and Y/N knew they were lucky.

Lucky to have a place to stay, lucky to be in London. And most of all: lucky to be with each other.

-

Two months later Y/N and Finn were still as strong as ever, and the pair of them had both gotten jobs in Camden Town.

Finn working down at the docks, where he loaded Alfie’s spirits into the boats that would travel across the Atlantic.

Finn had been clear with his girlfriend’s cousin that he wanted no part in the extremely illegal parts of the business. In other words he didn’t want to be a front runner, Finn was quite happy working behind the scenes or on the sidelines. Doing the smaller less risky jobs that helped boost business.

Thankfully Alfie has agreed with him, saying, “If I got you in trouble yeah, or you got fuckin’ hurt- then my cousin would have my balls hanging up above the fuckin’ fireplace.”

Y/N however had a different job role. As she helped run the books, Y/N had her mothers brains, math was her forte and not to mention her and Alfie were close, and her older cousin kept her well protected and safe.

Their jobs weren't particularly high paid and they’d told Alfie that they didn’t want special treatment when it came to their pay- either way they made enough to pay their part on rent at Alfie’s house (which usually meant paying for the food and occasionally the hot water bill).

But neither Finn or Y/N were disappointed, they were employed and bringing in an income. That was more than they’d done in small Heath.

“Y’know, I finally feel like I’m apart of something,” Finn mumbled as he kissed down Y/N’s bare back, “I finally feel wanted by others, that aren’t You, Ada or Pol.”

“Finn,” The girl sighed as she turned over to face him, “You have no idea how much purpose you bring to other people.” Y/N stroked his hair softly, feeling the bouncy curls slip between her finger tips, “Finn because of you, Alfie is finally reconnecting with his blood relatives- he said that if this hadn’t happened, then he was willing to give up on family. And by coming away from the life you had in Small Heath you’re making Ada feel better about her role as a big sister.”

Finn was in a semi state of shock, he had no idea he had made that much of an impact, “And you?” He asked.

“God Finn,” Y/N pressed her forehead to his, “ever since you pulled me back from that drunk driver, I knew that my life was going to be flipped upside down- that I was going to fall in love.” She licked her lips, “I can’t imagine my life without you- you’re my constant, my everything, the love of my life.”

The auburn haired boy pulled his girl close to his chest, peppering sweet kisses to her hairline, “I love you pretty girl.”

“And I you, Freckles.”

“D’you think we should come clean to Alfie- about my family I mean.” Finn chewed on his lips nervously.

Y/N sighed, “I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow, but for now my love we should get some sleep.”

-

Knock, knock, knock

It was one of those rare days that Alfie was working from home, Y/N had overheard his doctor telling Alfie that he needed to take it easy and rest more.

So of course Y/N forced him to stay at home. It was odd really, the pair had only reconnected a few months ago. But already it felt as if Alfie was coming into the older brother role in Y/N’s life, whereas she was the persuasive younger sister that Alfie never had growing up.

Their dynamic was one that many had never seen, there was constant teasing and banter between the two. And Y/N had been the only one to make demands from the big scary gang leader and live to tell the tale.

“Come in.” Alfie’s muffled voice came from behind the other side of the door.

As Y/N entered the office while balancing a tea tray on her arm, when she looked up she noticed her cousin sat at his desk with his specs on, Cyril layed down at his feet.

“Morning, Alf.” Y/N smiled warmly, “I’ve brought you some tea and biscuits.” She sat down opposite him, as he started across the desk accusingly.

“What do yer want aye?” Alfie squinted his eyes, “you only ever bring me stuff when yer tryna butter me up.”

“Well Is it working?” Y/N looked at her cousin as he poured himself a cup and necked down a biscuit.

“Depends that dunnit.” Alfie responded, raising his brow.

“Well I have some news,” Y/N started fidgeting with her hands, “Some news you might not take too well.”

“Fuckin’ hell- you’re not up the bloody duff are yer?”

The teenager promptly felt herself choke on her own spit, “What?” She shouted, her eyes as round as saucers, “No!” Y/N attempted to recompose herself, “Look What I was trying to get at is that Finn belongs to a family that weren’t good to him, he ran away from his old life after his brother tried to force us apart. And we talked last night about finally coming clean to you Alf, because we appreciate all you’ve done for us and we don’t feel like we’re being truthful and-“

“Y/N!” Alfie cut off her ranted speech, “I know that Finn is a Shelby.” He stated simply, “Do you really think I don’t do background checks on my workers Y/N/N?”

“And you’re okay with him?” Y/N was still in a state of shock,

“Well,” Alfie leant forwards, “ma always taught us to not judge a book by the pissin’ cover aye? Sometimes that shit also includes certain family names.” He paused, pondering what to say next, “Look I kept an eye out for the lad in the first few weeks yous stayed ‘ere, in case there was some spyin’ goin’ on. But there wasn’t, it was just a lovestruck boy who’s willin’ to do anythin’ to make ‘is girl happy. So as far as I’m concerned Y/N/N, he’s a new branch in the Solomons family.”

Y/N could feel happy tears brimming in her eyes, she finally saw what Finn meant. She felt like she mattered, like she had purpose for the first time in a very long time.

-

Two months. It had been two months since Finn had just up and left. Tommy didn't think that his youngest sibling what actually hold to his word- he didn't think that Finn of all people would actually quit the family buisness and leave small heath. 

And with all of that considered, Tommy didn't know where the fuck Finn had gone. And that was a first in Tommy’s experience- he didn't know something. 

It was incredibly frustrating and not to mention Polly was in bits since Finn had just gone missing in action. It wasn't hard to see that there was a soft spot in his aunts heart for the youngest Shelby.

He’d had men search every major city in Britain, knowing Finn couldn’t have strayed too far off the beaten path.

The youngest Shelby never was one for spontaneity, he was too much like his mother for that- he liked to have a plan set out in front of him.

But what made the situation all the more complicated was the war Tommy had made on Sabini, if Finn was in London then there was a large chance that he was in danger.

Tommy didn’t want more blood on his hands, he didn’t know if he could handle more blood on his hands.

-

Dear Pol,

This leter wil onlie be short, but its a leter non the less. All you need to no is that I am safe and happie, and hav started a new life for myself. If you want to meet, then go to Ada’s on Saterday and i will meet you there.

Lots of luv and take care,

Finn

P.S- Y/N is teeching me to reed and rite, it is a work in progres- but I am lerning!

Polly grinned at the letter in front of her, it was most definitely her nephew. Despite it being in letter form, his mannerisms and language hasn’t changed.

The older woman could feel her heart swell with pride for her youngest nephew, deep down Polly knew that the Blinder lifestyle wasn’t for him.

Finn was like Ada in that way- he followed his heart. And his heart has chosen a different path than his brothers.

Polly set the letter down on her desk as she pondered what her next course of action would be, obviously she was going to Ada’s to meet her nephew on the Saturday.

However she was met with the dilemma of how she could get it past Tommy.

One one hand, Tommy was the patriarch of the family- Polly knew that she was practically obligated to tell her older nephew her plans and whereabouts.

But on the other hand, Finn was safe. He was free from a dangerous life, he was happy and he had started a new path.

And that was more than anything Tommy could offer the lad. Polly knew that Finn valued his freedom and happiness over all the money in the world.

Pulling out a cigarette, Polly fiddled with the small stick of tobacco. After igniting it, she took a deep inhale, allowing the smoke to fill her lungs.

Every piece of her heart and soul was telling her to keep Finn safe. Maybe that was just the mother hen in Polly- but she was certain on one thing.

Thomas Shelby was going to learn to live with his actions and consequences of his words, because Polly had no intention of saying a word about Finn’s whereabouts.

Peaky blinders taglist:

@simonsbluee

[un-beel-lievable]

I saw you were taking requests! Could I request mammon confessing and some emotional intimate nsfw if you want to do that?? Thatd be cool :)) thank you

So I kinda took this and ran with it. I love this concept of Mammon being horny but sweet at the same time. It kinda went from a scenario ask to a fanfic which is why this took so long! Plus I’m working on a whole bunch of stories at once and also I’m a perfectionist by nature and thus I’m usually never 100% confident in my work and I spend so much time doing rewrites. I apologize for the delay, I just wanted it to be perfect. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy!

Fuck.

Fuck.

Mammon glanced up at the clock. He began to grow more and more restless in his seat. He fidgeted with his pen in his sweaty palms as his last class of the day drew nearer and nearer to an end.

‘Only 8 minutes left,’ he thought to himself. ‘8 more agonizing minutes. You can do this Mammon. It’s just four minutes two times! It’s just two minutes four times!’

Of course this would be the one period he doesn’t have with you. And clearly you knew that. But you said what you said anyway, letting him stew in his overactive thoughts until the final bell at the end of the day. 

“Mammon...hypothetically speaking, what would you think if I told you I had a crush on you? And like, I wanted to start dating you...hypothetically? Cause I mean like, if you think about it that doesn’t seem like that bad of an idea. We have a lot of fun together and get along really well. If you and I were dating I- oh! That’s the bell! We can talk about it after school, okay?”

And that was it. You scampered off to class, leaving Mammon standing in the middle of the hallway, a sputtering mess in a sea of students shoving past him.

What was he supposed to make of all this? Was it really hypothetical after all or were you serious? You must have been if you asked what he thought about it. Did you ACTUALLY like him back? 

It was no secret that Mammon was absolutely in love with you. He was so obvious. Saying he thought you were just some dumb human, but ravenous for the slightest bit of attention you showed him. He would often become frustrated at himself for not being able to admit his own feelings.

“Mammon you’re completely ridiculous,” he remembered hearing Satan say. “That’s something seven-year-olds do. It’s playground romance. Tell them they have cooties, but miss them as soon as they’re gone.”

That’s not true...he never said you had cooties. But he DID miss you when you were gone. Hell, he missed you right now and you’re down the hall! He wanted to confess to you, and there were a few times when he almost did! But the timing was just never right. He was always being interrupted by someone or something and then the moment was gone as soon as it came. Who knew when he’d get another chance? Unless he just went for it. Should he do it today after school? What would he say? What would YOU say? How could he play it cool?

“Roflolol Mammon’s tsundere attitude is just proving that he’s soooo desperate. I’m embarrassed FOR him lololol.” Levi’s voice rang. He became more and more frustrated with each ill-timed memory that popped into his head.

‘Screw that little otaku creep.’ He thought. ‘What does he know? Kid hasn’t gotten laid in centuries! The GREAT MAMMON is NOT desperate.’

Except he was. 

He WAS desperate. The more he thought about dating you the more he saw himself playing with your hair, and taking you on cute dates, and holding you by the waist, and kissing you softly, and unbuttonin-

“Mammon?” Solomon asked, snapping in front of Mammon’s face, bringing him back to reality.

“Whattaya want Solomon? Can’t you see I’m busy thinking?”

“Oh, so you ARE capable of thought!” He said with a wry smile.

“Dick…” Mammon muttered under his breath.

“Well, I just saw you staring into space and I figured I should let you know that the bell rang like almost two minutes ago.”

“WHAT?!” Mammon bolted out the door and down the hall. 

“You’re welcome!” He called after him. Solomon looked at the pen he lent Mammon (of course he was unprepared) left abandoned on the desk.

“School supplies. The one thing he DOESN’T steal.” He chuckled with a roll of his eyes.

“Oh, there you are!” You said smiling as an out-of-breath Mammon caught up to you walking back home from school.

“Jeez would it kill ya to wait for a guy?” He panted. 

“Sorry,” you giggled, “I waited for a bit but I thought you weren’t coming. I thought what I said before scared you off…”

“Pft! ME? Scared? I- uh...” However, it dawned on him that now you were with him again… alone. And now was the time! He was finally gonna confess his feelings! 

‘Just do it now Mammon,’ he thought. ‘Get it over with you pussy! Rip the bandaid of love off!’ 

But how the hell can he say it? He hadn’t gotten to that yet in his daydream… he kinda just skipped to the part where you guys like...touch butts and stuff? Solomon snapped him out of it before he could come up with something super suave and clever to say to you instead of stuttering like an idiot.

But here he was.

Stuttering like an idiot.

“Uh, I… uh.”

“Relax, I was just joking! It’s kinda cute that you're nervous though.” You admitted with a little sway in your step, fiddling with your backpack straps as they dangled tantalizingly by your hands.

“Yeah well-” 

Wait...CUTE? YOU THOUGHT HE WAS CUTE? Damn it, now he’s blushing. Oh god could you see? Of course you could see! He looks like a baboon’s ass! 

‘SAY SOMETHING YOU MORON!’

“At least now you have company in cute-ville. Ha hah, Cute-ville, population: us.”

Fuckin SMOOTH.

Did he have to add the finger guns at the end? He mentally kicked himself for saying the dumbest thing possible. And shortly following his self-loathing came the state of panic he found himself in as you began to laugh. Were you laughing with him? Or at him? 

Shit.

“Oh so you think I’m cute too then? Thank you.” You said, a teasing edge to your words.

Mammon hadn’t meant to call you cute. Well...he HAD but not by saying you lived with him in cute-ville, whatever the fuck THAT meant. He stared down at his feet kicking the dirt around. His mind raced as he tried to think of something to say to reverse the damage he had done already but he came up blank. And then the worst thing that could have possibly happened at that moment, happened.

It got silent.

You said nothing. He said nothing. For like, thirty whole seconds. Why weren’t you saying anything? Did he screw it up? He turned to see if he could get your attention by saying something, ANYTHING, only to find you already looking at him with wide, sparkling eyes. He audibly choked on his breath. You let a small giggle out at his strained sound.

‘Mammon you fucking nerd.’ 

His eyes returned to the road in front of him as you both came up on The House of Lamentation. 

With all the courage he could muster, and all the pride he could swallow, he stopped as soon as the two of you reached the door.

‘It’s now or never.’ He thought. 

You could see that Mammon was visibly tense and blushing a deep crimson. You knew what was coming, you had set it up so perfectly for him. You knew exactly what you were doing when you brought up him hypothetically dating you. You planted the seed of confessing to you in his head right before your last class, knowing you wouldn’t be together. That way he could sit there and think about it without you there. All you had to do was give him that last little nudge.

“Mammon? Are you okay? You know you can tell me anything, right?” You said with fake concern, knowing precisely why he was so uncomfortable. 

“MC… listen up will ya?” He said, voice shaking. “I gotta tell ya something…” he trailed off. You hung on his every word. “MC, I’m only gonna say this once, got it? So ya better be payin’ attention. I...I love you, okay? I love ya, I’m crazy about ya. I can’t stop thinkin’ about ya and it’s drivin’ me nuts! And when you started talking about dating me, I almost lost it right in the hallway. That’s all I’ve wanted, since I met ya. I’m greedy, ya know? I want you to be mine and ONLY mine...”

Woah.

You weren’t expecting THAT. Sure maybe an ‘I like you’ or an ‘I really like you’ or even the coveted ‘I really REALLY like you’. But for him to fully confess his undying affections to you, right here on the doorstep? 

Unprecedented. It shook you, if you were being honest. Of course you loved this moron back but this situation had escalated from 0-60 in 2.2 heartbeats and now it was your turn to be a blushing, speechless, mess. 

“M-Mammon… I…”

This was it. He was about to be humiliated even more wasn’t he? This was the part where you say that you were only joking about dating him and how you never want to speak to him again because he creeped you out. Mammon wanted the ground to swallow him up right there. Why did he just spill his guts out like that? It was diarrhea of the mouth. Absolute word vomit. He couldn’t stop himself! But at the same time he wanted to keep going. To let you know how beautiful he thinks you are, how much he adores you, how he wants to take a bath together and wash your body for you, how he wants to smell the lovely scent of your hair in his face after a night spent in each other’s embrace, or how you’re the only thing that matters more than money and Goldie, how he wants to be a better person for you so you could be proud to call him your boyfriend. But he had to clamp his lips shut before he admitted to more than just wanting a cuddle with you...

“Mammon... I love you too…” You croaked out softly.

Mammon could hear the pounding of his heart in his ears. What? Did he hear that right? You loved him back? Was this a prank? Was it a dream? 

“And… I’d like nothing more than to be yours.” You added. 

Mammon’s heart soared and there was no way to hide the big goofy grin or the tinge of red on his face. He moved instinctively and pulled you toward him, squeezing you against his body.

Your synapses momentarily pulled a cease-fire at his sudden action but after regaining the ability to think for yourself, you quickly returned his affection and wrapped your arms around his waist. You nuzzled into his chest, breathing in his natural scent mixed with his high-end cologne. 

“O-of course you do! Who wouldn’t want The Great Mammon to be their boyfriend? Y-you should be honored.” He said into the crown of your head with a soft fondness and a hint of relief. 

You tilted your head up to capture his lips in a soft, yet needy kiss. Taken slightly aback at your brash actions, he leaned into the kiss, snaking one of his hands up behind your head to steady you and the other down to the curve of your hips to draw you even closer. Now that you had admitted your feelings to him, he had received a boost of confidence. Hearing you say you loved him was an ego stroke and we all know what happens when his ego is stroked...

You gasped at his touch and let out a sigh as he slipped his tongue inside your mouth, letting him take over without much of a fight. He licked into your mouth and gently tugged on your bottom lip to elicit tiny squeaks from you. Months of pent-up sexual tension and frustration between the two of you finally coming to a head. Gazes from across the room, touches that lingered just a moment too long, flirty words and claims of being your first man all lead to this at last. 

Somehow in that moment you had enough consciousness to realize that the two of you still stood outside the door of the house where anyone could see the show you were putting on.

“Mammon...why don’t we take this back to my room?” The question came out far more seductively than you intended but you were breathless from the kiss and your voice presented itself as more of a moan. Mammon shuddered slightly at the way you spoke and couldn’t help but think of the sexual implications behind the innocuous question.

“Babygirl,” he spoke, with a warning tone. “Ya shouldn’t start something you can’t finish…”

Your eyes intuitively dropped just below his belt to get an eyeful of Mammon’s prominent “concern”. The cocky air in your response was unmissable.

“Who said I wasn’t gonna finish it?” 

And that’s how you ended up on your bed in only your underwear, underneath Mammon who was kissing and nibbling at the sweet spot on your neck. You intertwined your fingers through his, your other hand free to travel the vast expanse of his exposed torso. Your skin flushed deeper with each nip he gave to your collarbones.

“Ah~!” Your small hiccupy moans and breathless whines filled what little space was left between you. Mammon sat up and pulled you up to him so he could unlatch your bra, throwing it to the side. He kissed in between your breasts as his hands came up to massage them. He wrapped his lips around one nipple and started suckling while rolling the other one tenderly between his thumb and forefinger. He continued kissing down your stomach until he reached the hem of your panties. He glanced up into your eyes asking for silent permission to take them off. You nodded rather curtly, signaling your wish for him to continue. He hooked his fingers in the sides of your panties and you lifted your hips up ever so slightly so he could slide them off of you. His eyes trailed every inch of your fully naked form.

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful.” Mammon said between kisses at your hip bones. “I can’t believe I have you here like this, all to myself.” 

“Mammon, please…” You nearly whispered.

“Please what, doll?” He asked coyly.

“Touch me, kiss me, eat me out, fuck me, anything! I need to feel you…” You admitted, shying away from the hunger in his eyes.

“You got it babe.” Mammon spread your legs open and placed a kiss right to your core followed by a few strained licks to your sensitive clit. You gasped at the sensation and your hands flew down into his soft, fluffy hair. You unconsciously pushed his head down, forcing him to lick into you deeper. He groaned softly at your taste on his tongue which only caused him to become more ravenous. He was eating your pussy with fervor now, softly nipping at your clit and drawing circles with his tongue. 

“Ah, fuck!” You cursed out, feeling yourself beginning to let go. At this compliment, he sped up the pace of his ministrations. You noticed how he wrapped his arms around your thighs, drawing you closer so he could fuck you deeper with his skilled tongue. Your praise sparked something primal in him and you wanted to push him a little further.

“Fuck, you’re eating me out so well Mammon! I feel like I’m gonna cum!” You praised. 

At this point Mammon was practically GROWLING into your cunt, eating you out like a man depraved, slurping and sucking and licking.

“Yeah? Then cum for me baby. Hump my face if ya have to. Cum on my tongue. Your pussy is fuckin’ delicious, let me taste how sweet your cum is.” He said between licks and kisses, nibbling gently at your labia. 

You felt the tell-tale pit feeling in your abdomen tightening as he spoke his obscenities. All it took to get you over the edge was Mammon shoving two of his fingers into you and pumping them in and out in time with the flicks of his tongue and you were gone. Your eyes fluttered as you came with a loud sigh. Mammon gave you a couple of pumps while you rode out your orgasm, careful of not overstimulating your pulsing clit.

He barely let you get a few good breaths in before crashing his lips into your own. You could taste yourself on him, not that you minded, really. Something so lewd only helped in refueling your arousal. 

“Fuck baby, that was amazing.” You moaned into his mouth, as he continued kissing you through your words.

“Yeah? Well I couldn’t have stopped even if I wanted to. Ya taste real fuckin’ good.” He said as he climbed off the bed to take his pants off. He was about to unbuckle his belt when you stopped him. 

“Wait…”

“Somethin’ wrong, babe?” He asked with a look of concern. Now he was starting to panic again. Did you not want him to fuck you? 

“Allow me.” You said, quelling his fears as you sauntered over. You stood in front of him and he placed his forehead against yours as you began to work on his belt, the clanging sound and your combined heavy breathing the only noise in the room. You then undid the button of his jeans and slid them down to his ankles, while dropping to your knees. His erection was trapped still behind his boxers. You grabbed his clothed member and Mammon squeaked at the solid grip you now held. You gazed lazily up to his glassy, hooded eyes and began to mouth over his cock gently, leaving wet patches on his boxers wherever your sinful tongue lay. He inhaled sharply, head already reeling from that hot, wet, little mouth of yours. You had your fill of teasing and finally freed him from his boxers, feeling the weight of his rather large cock in your hands. You gripped him with one hand around the base the other on the shaft, the soft skin juxtaposed by it’s hardness. You kissed the tip lightly and lapped at it with kittenish licks. Mammon suddenly grabbed your hair and pulled you off. You looked at him with confusion.

“Sorry babe, as much as I’d love to fuck that pretty mouth a’ yours, I just can’t wait any longer. I wanna fuck that pretty pussy of yours instead.” He walked back towards the edge of the bed and sat with his legs spread, palming and slowly stroking his stiff cock as he took in the sight of you. 

“C’mere hun, why don’t ya have a seat?” A chill ran through you and straight to your exposed nipples, stiffening the little buds and this did not go unnoticed by Mammon. “So turned on you can’t even answer babygirl?”

All you could get out was a dry little  “Mhm~” Mammon chuckled at how cute you were.

You straddled him as you lowered yourself onto his throbbing cock feeling every inch pushing deeper inside your quivering little hole, feeling the delectable stretch as he entered.

“Fuck,” Mammon cursed, “you’re so tight…” You let out a small huff as the back of your thighs met the top of his and he fully seated himself inside you. Now with you connected, he laid on his back, leaving his hips off the edge, giving him enough leverage to begin slowly thrusting into you.

“Ohhh fuck.” You cursed out in bliss. His hands gripped your waist as he rocked into you creating a steady rhythm.

“Fuck, you’re so big Mammon.” Upon hearing this compliment he began to push into your tight, wet heat faster, making your tits bounce with each thrust. He wasn’t sure how long he was going to be able to keep this up, not only because of the challenging position, but because he felt like he could burst with every passing second. 

“How ‘bout we try another position, hm? Whattaya say babe? Missionary? Kinda boring, I know, but-” He paused. His expression shifted slightly. Gone was the lust from before as he looked into your eyes and in its place was something more endearing.

“But what?” You inquired. 

“I-I want to look into your eyes when you cum… I want to see how beautiful you look when I make you cum...I wanna see that look of ecstasy on your face...all cause a’ me...” He began to blush which seemed odd to you because he was literally fucking you seconds ago and yet still had the ability to be embarrassed while telling you something sweet. 

‘He’s too adorable.’ You thought as you laid your head on the pillows. Mammon followed suit, climbing on top of you and kissing you tenderly. He guided himself to your entrance while gripping your hips. Once fully sheathed in you he leaned down for another kiss. 

This kiss was different from the last few. It was certainly passionate, but it was almost desperate. He didn’t just want you, he NEEDED you. 

He loved you.

You grasped for his hand amid his thrusts interlacing your fingers and he squeezed your palm earnestly. No words had to be spoken for you to both understand this intimate declaration of devotion.

Mammon began to pound into you harder, the sound of your lovemaking most likely audible from down the hall. Wanton moans and pants and skin slapping echoing through the room.

“Fuck you feel so good Mammon! Fuck, I love you! Ah~! I’m-I’m cumming!” You cried. Your walls clenched and pulsed around his cock with the intense wave of your orgasm.  Mammon looked directly into your eyes with such adoration as you came, you could almost cry. 

“Babe… fuck...I’m g-gonna cum-”

“Come inside me Mammon, I want to feel your love inside me.” You said not breaking away from your eye contact with his blue orbs, hazy from sex. He screwed his eyes shut with a shout of your name as he came into you, resting his head on your as his hips stuttered into you, releasing his load. You kissed the back of the hand you were holding as he came down from his high, slipping out of you and plopping down next to you. The two of you laid in silence, regaining your composure. You curled up into Mammon’s side, resting your head in the dip of his shoulder.

“I love ya so much MC...and I’m so happy I could die.” He said with a laugh and a sigh, wrapping his arms around his girl.

“I know Mammon...I love you too.”

He tilted your chin up to kiss you once more before drifting off into sleep. He awoke the next morning with the sweet smell of your hair tickling his nose, just like he always imagined it would after a night spent in each other’s embrace.

[underatedcharactersunite]

Food For Thought

Summary; Deciding to gather all of the men for some food and whiskey, you're surprised when Alfie's jealous arrises.  WordCount; 559 Pairing; Alfie Solomons x Reader  Warnings; Jealous Alfie, Fluff, Strong Language, 

Day 2

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Alfie rarely questioned you, but this time you had been able to confuse him entirely. With everything going on, with the demand for bread getting higher every day, you decided that gathering his men for cooked meats and alcohol was a great idea.

"Love, I'll admit that you're always giving me great advice, but this one I'm not sure. With everything that's currently fucking going on do you think gatherin' all of the men together for food is and whiskey is a good idea." Halting the current process of kneading fresh dough you turned your head so you could catch a glimpse at your boyfriend. With one hand resting on the counter, the other on his cane. He examined your expression intimately. 

"With everything going on, now is the perfect time to get all of the men together. It gives time for the men to see those who they've not seen in a while. Everyone will feel rejuvenated and the sense of family and togetherness. It will work trust me." Walking up behind you, Alfie wrapped his arms around your waist, brushing his bearded face on your neck, pressing soft kisses up and down your neck. 

"I do trust you, more than anyone in this fuckin' place. I can't trust anyone. There have been times where I've sat and wondered how I've not gone insane. Then I turn and see your beautiful face starin' at me, then I remember." Reaching up, you pulled Alfie's face towards yours as you kissed him fervently. The scratchiness of his beard tickled your face juxtaposed with the softness of Alfie's lips as they melded together, almost like two missing puzzle pieces. 

"Your men are devoted to you Alfie, just as am I." With one last kiss, Alfie left you to get back to making the bread that you would need for today's gathering. With thoughts of how he would repay you if things went as well as you hoped.

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The gathering was succeeding so far. The men were together enjoying the atmosphere some had brought their partners and children. There were laughter and happiness in every corner. You had managed to get everyone together, with no fighting at all.

"Love, what can I say? You've pulled it off. I was a little sceptical in the beginning." Alfie embraces you once more unable to prevent the jealously that arose from his chest every time they glanced at you. He didn't care if they were trying to give thanks for the day off. Alfie also didn't care if they were trying to thank you for the exceptional food and whiskey. You were off-limits. 

Catching onto what was going on, you playfully slapped his chest.

"Would you stop glaring at everyone who stares at me? No one is getting hurt today, especially you." Pulling you closer, Alfie's hands rested lower on your hips, before he could reply with anything you pressed your lips softly to his. 

"Let me tell you somethin', nothin' or no one would ever hurt me, especially not when I'm defendin' your honour. I'd cut them down before they got the chance."

It's nice to know that no one will mess with me, do you think we can do this again sometime?"

"Maybe we make this a yearly thing, yeah? As long as my men know how to keep their eyes to themselves."