#Also sorry that this honestly isnt really that interesting if you know the series already

[isjasz]

Part 1- The Orphanage

IT BEGINS WOOOOOOOO this was meant to inform ppl of the lore in tpn for the sake of the au then it got out of hand helpme

Designs | Part 1 | Part 2 (End)

[sukunasweetheart]

//just me venting about sukuna haters sorry

Not me seeing so much discourse about whether sukuna is a well written villain or not... he essentially has no backstory shown as of yet and we barely know anything about him but he is still one of the most naturally interesting and compelling characters in the whole damn series bro 💀 buckle up bc its about to get lengthy (im just glazing sukuna in this post ngl so 🧎‍♀️)

so many whiny ass mfs are weeping about how he "doesn't have any personal goals or a proper reason to be a villain" when that is the whole point???? He lives on his own desires and satisfactions and does whatever he wants to, because he is capable enough to do that. Mfs want "real villains" but cant even handle sukuna 💀 ive seen too many shit ass threads and poorly articulated "critiques" on his character that dont make any valid points. If you can't even separate your personal dislike of a character from your analysis of their writing, dont even bother posting that shit please 😭😭😭 the fact that we haven't even gotten any information about his background yet and people are jumping the gun about him being "poorly written" is already saying a lot 🤨

The fact that yall are so bitter and angry about him that you can write 500+ words about how oh-so-terrible of a villain he is kinda proves that he's doing his job well tbh 💁‍♀️

What also bothers me to no END is how people compare him with villains of other series, who had compelling sob stories that made people empathise with them. Thats nice and all but why should all villains have grand ideals and be subject to feelings of empathy/sympathy from their audience?

Part of what makes sukuna so interesting is how he's not tied down by morals, rules or long term goals in life. He doesn't limit himself, which is what makes him an unpredictable character. He's completely left behind what it means to be human in many ways, and he's clearly not a character written to be empathised with. He is very purposefully inhumane and distant from everyone else, and that feeling transcends from within the series to real life as well. There is a clear lack of understanding bc most of us can't comprehend what its like to just live without being goal-oriented.

Sukuna is a true anomaly in the sense that he doesnt really fit in any kind of box within the series. He's born from man, but its clear that he separates himself from humans (and nobody else considers him human, either). He's not a cursed spirit. He hovers between life and death. The narrator referred to him as the honoured one, whilst angel referred to him as the disgraced one.

These little contradictions in his character make him all the more complicated and interesting to think about. And even recently, he's been shown to waver a little bit momentarily in the manga, questioning his own irritation at yuuji. He's capable of self reflection, and though sukuna does whatever he wants for the most part, he doesn't blindly go into things without some thought first, he's a constant thinker and analyser, and an intelligent one at that.

And honestly, he is always such a joy to watch and read, his personality is so flavourful, and the way he carries himself is very attractive. He's not afraid to get messy or of getting hurt, theres so much chaos in the way he does things and yet he also has a huge element of gracefulness to him, which shines through the poetic way he speaks. Its undeniable that sukuna simply oozes charisma...

And this isnt talked about enough but this man is genuinely so effortlessly funny (in a kind of sinister way i guess?) Like yes he is an old ass man having real beef with one FIFTEEN YEAR OLD for very little reason, he accidentally healed yuujis arm and somehow expected him to be grateful for it despite how he literally ripped his heart out afterwards, then he proceeded to sit on him after kicking him down likeeee 😭 what kind of behaviour is this sir

His facial expressions at yorozus yapping 💀 THE WAY HE COMPARED YUUJIS FACE OF DESPAIR TO THE HARIMA STATUE 😭😭😭💀😭💀💀😭 omg that was so foul but i was fucking losing it ngl

How he randomly compared gojo to a fish and started talking abt his scales... thats a very unique and descriptive comparison, isnt it? Even in the recent leaks, he was 100% ready and squaring up to a literal child talking abt "youre starting to get annoying" LIKE HELPPP 😭 HE FR SAID "fuck them kids and fuck you too"

I saw someone saying that sukuna has no passion, like are we talking about the same character....? This man is a literal jujutsu NERD 💀💀 he truly recognises talented sorcerers and the only time hes seen to be having genuine fun is when hes fighting a mf... is that not passion? This is literally sukuna when it comes to jujutsu: 🤓

Anyway im done here now, im pretty sure i missed a lot of things i couldve talked about as well but ive done enough yapping

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Ayyyyyyyy Guess Who Just Finished Watching Angel's Friends

Me. I did.

So yeah, the start of this post is going to be a spoiler-less review-recommendation kinda thingy and then I'll put all of my other thoughts which include spoilers under the cut

Also, I would like to mention that Im only talking about the cartoon here, I have not read either the comics or the books at this point (I didnt even know that there were books before checking wikipedia to make sure that I actually watched every episode of the show lol)

Lets go babey!

This series is very not-good, but it has some interesting concepts and scratches some of my itches, so I like it. But before we get into that in detail, heres a summary of the basic plot, taken from wikipedia:

"Four Angels (Raf, Uri, Sweet and Miki) and four Devils/Demons (Sulfus, Cabiria, Kabale and Gas) are sent to Earth, in an unused area of the Golden School, where they learn everything they need to become Guardian Angels and Guardian Devils. The Angels and Devils are required to form pairs as part of their education, each of which will have to deal with a human being, known as Earthly Ones, and help them choose between the right and wrong way in life without being discovered. Angels and Devils cannot operate at the same time, so they decide, clashing in the Challenge Room, who will work first. Moreover, they are subject to the V.E.T.O. (Vetoed from Exposing, Touching or Obstructing/Overhearing in the comic – Italian: Vietato Esporsi, Toccare, Ostacolare/Origliare)."

Something that isnt mentioned here is the romance between Raf, the protagonist, and Sulfus, her devil rival, but its a pretty important part of the story that I'll talk about in more detail.

First, the animation is fine. Its kinda clunky and the posing is pretty unnatural at times, you can tell that the budget wasnt that high. The lipsyncing for the english dub is pretty abysmal in the first season but it gets better in the movie and in the second season.

Second, the voice acting is... something. It has that very not-good anime dub quality, which makes sense considering Angel's Friends is already very anime, even more so when youre watching it in italian (with subtitles bc you dont understand italian) and they randomly yell english phrases like "Think Fly!" or "Angel's Friends! Together forever!" or, my personal favourite, "Devil's Enemies! Supreme Temptation!" when transforming or using their powers. The dub is decent enough, Ive only watched the movie in italien and their voices seem mostly the same, with the exception of Sulfus, who sounds just awful in the dub im sorry. I hate listening to him talk, which is pretty bad considering hes the love interest. I mean, he makes up for it by having a great personality but man, what I wouldnt give to have him sound like he does in italian.... But the worst thing has to be the..... moaning, that the voice actors inexplicably do. Its very uncomfortable, I have no idea who is responsible for this but they have stuff to atone for

Third, the characters are pretty good, I like them a lot. Theyre not that deep, but theyre likable and pretty fun. Raf is a pretty nice and likable protagonist without being bland, although I kinda hate her subplot/backstory-thingy. I can ignore that for the most part though, so I dont really mind. Honestly, I think I would've liked Sulfus as a protagonist a bit better, but that might just be my bias towards edgy and pathetic (affectionate) guys coming through lmao. We mainly focus on Raf and her angel friends and their friendship is really cute. I kinda wish they paid more attention to the intragroup-friendships, if you know what I mean? Like, Raf and Urie were best friends and Miki and Sweet were kindof a duo, but thats kinda it and I really wish we explored some other dynamics a bit more. I wouldve also liked them to focus a bit more on Sulfus' friends, but at the same time, I get why they didnt. When it comes to stories where romance is incredibly important, I personally prefer it when the two characters in the main couple are both the protagonists, or when one of them is more like the deutergonist as opposed to just the love interest, but it works well enough here I guess

I also like the little background-plots (?? idk if thats the right word) that the humans get, theyre pretty charming and its fun to watch the angels n devils influence them

Speaking of the protagonist and the love interest, I absolutely adore the romance between Raf and Sulfus. Theyre soooooooo cute together its insane <3 Its gonna be kinda hard to explain why I love them so much as a couple without spoilery examples, but I'll try

Their dynamic is a fairly basic Good Girl/Bad Boy kinda thing (because of course it is) but like, in a way that I dont find absolutely loathesome lol. I usually really hate that dynamic because it feels like writers tend to use the fact that the guy is a 'Bad Boy' to make him toxic and insufferable for some reason while making the 'Good Girl' into a pushover who cant call him out on it, and then the whole thing is inexplicably framed as romantic?? And yea, I cannot vibe with that Im sorry. Fortunately, Raf n Sulfus arent like that :D Their relationship is pretty healthy and most of the drama between them either stems from external stuff or from the fact that their love is yknow, forbidden and no one really wants it to prosper (I think??? Idk honestly the storytelling isnt particularly clear here, I'll get into it later)

I think a lot of it comes down to the fact that Raf enforces her boundaries and Sulfus respects them despite their mutual interests, do you know what I mean? Like, okay, another thing that I love about their relationship is that they actually find out about each others feelings pretty early on and actually communicate about them; From Raf's perspective, the issue isnt "Oh no! Im in love with a devil who will never love an angel like me back :'(", its "Oh no! Im in love with a devil and he loves me back, but we cant be together because its forbidden :'(". And she basically tells Sulfus just that, and he goes "Well, rules were meant to be broken but fine, I get it I respect your decision pls tell me when you change ur mind tho" and I think thats neat

The fact that they know about each other feelings and are able to actually talk without turning into mushy flustered messes around each other is soooooooo incredibly refreshing. Like, I was comparing them to the Love Square from Miraculous in my head, since thats the last romance-centric Magical Girl show I watched and its literally so much better, I refuse to believe anyone actually likes it when the main couple doesnt communicate and dont get together until the last episode. And to be fair, Raf and Sulfus dont actually officially get together either (it looks like the series was cancelled prematurely and they were saving that for a potential third season), but they talk, they compliment each other and confess their feelings to each other and its just so nice, yknow?

The external drama between them doesnt feel contrived either. They straight-up have one of those stupid moments where the love interest appears to do something bad bc of some Outside Influence, like cheating or smth, and the protagonist gets mad and yells at the love interest while the love interest is like "no! wait!! I can explain!!!" but keeps getting interrupted except it didnt feel stupid at all, I was actually really invested in the drama rather than thinking "man, this is so dumb" like I usually do when this kind of stuff happens in stories.

The last thing I wanted to talk about was the story and the storytelling. Its pretty alright. I appreciate the structure of the two seasons with both of them starting out with a string of small, mostly unrelated, personal problems (that are mainly the angels and devils trying to make things better or worse for their human charges) while the villains are doing stuff in the background with the good guys being almost completely unaware until they achieve their first Real Victory and then the rest of the season is all the important characters banding together to actually stop them from achieving their World Destroying Final Goal. Theres a good amount of potential and set up to explore interesting themes about morality, free will, maybe love too idk, but the series is far too immature to really delve into any of it. Like, this isnt Winx Club Seasons 1-3, this is more like Winx Club Season 4 or maybe 5 idk I havent watched those season in a while. I would LOVE an animated She-ra (2018)-style reboot of this show because oughhhhhhhh theres so much good shit here but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Also idk if this is the right place to put this, but the unsubtle and honestly pretty clunky dialogue really isnt helping lol

The biggest issue I have with this series is definitely the pacing. Im gonna be honest, I dont think I truly understood what people who critize media meant when they were talking about The Pacing before watching Angel's Friends and. i sure do now. The first few episodes especially feel like they tried to put 22 minutes worth of story into an 11 minute episode and like, I wouldnt call the experience of watching those episodes dreadful, mainly because they go by pretty quickly but, it sure isnt great. It gets a bit better, I think??? I honestly couldnt really tell you if actually gets better or if you just get used to it. I wasnt too bothered by it once I got used to not always looking at another screen while watching something because I have a pretty low attention span and tend to feel understimulated while watching TV shows, so the fast pace actually helped me in some weird way lol. As a kinda-writer, it was still really noticeable though and not in a good way

Another issue that I have is the fact that Raf and Sulfus' friends dont really seem to have an opinion on their love?? Or rather, its not really explained how much who knows and they dont really touch on it, which I think is kinda important for stories revolving around a Forbidden Love but, oh well.

So yea, thats about it for the non-spoilery stuff I think. I would definitely recommend to check Angel's Friends out, if only for some of the good ideas and the lovely kinda-subversive-in-a-way romance.

Alright, time to talk about what I liked, what I disliked and some missed opportunities in more detail (Apologies in advance if this next part is kinda disjointed lol)

The finales were my least favorite part, hands down. I especially didnt like the second season's finale, which is a shame because I really liked everything until they get to the Libra of the Veto and fight Cassidy and her cringe fail kinda-husband (forgot his name sry). Like, I loved the relationship drama between Raf n Sulfus and all the stuff with the clone and I thought Blue was really intriguing and the like, heist arc(?) were they infiltrate Angi Town and Match City respectively was sooooo much fun, but then the finale was just. eh. I think it might be because thats when I realized that oh, no theyre not really going to expand on all this interesting stuff that I would like them to expand on, are they. And yea, they didnt.

I was especially disappointed that we didnt really find out what Blue's deal was. I get that they were going to do that in a third season, but since we didnt get that, its just. Idk, disappointing, I guess?? Like, I predicted her being someone outside of the angel/devil binary basically in the scene she was introduced and I was theorizing about what exactly she was and where she came from and hyping myself up about her and then it was just.... nothing. Shes connected to Reina, but, how?? I personally thought she was a fallen angel given her primarily devilish features, but lack of horns or a halo and the weird shape of her wings. Maybe they elaborate on her in the books but i dont even know if those follow the same continuity as the show sooooo yea

The episode that truly made me like this show as much as I do was probably season 1 episode 26, where they kiss but it wasnt just the kiss, it was the whole build-up to it. Like, I feel like it couldve been so easy to mess up and make Sulfus come across as really unlikable or frame it like Raf was in the wrong for being upset when she wasnt, but I think they did it really well. And then ougggggggh the actual kiss...... I just really wish their lips didnt look so weird and ugly while they kissed lol

I kinda already mentioned this earlier but I like it happens so early in the series too. Ngl I initially didnt like that their relationship progressed so quickly (yea, the main couple having their kiss by episode 26 is pretty normal but remember that the episodes here are 11 minutes long) but theyre just so sweet together and I kinda realized that I actually prefer this to the usual way of writing 'slowburn' romance where theyre in mutual love but cant communicate at all for bullshit reasons lmao

The only thing that kinda pisses me off about this episode in hindsight are Sulfus healing powers which NEVER come up again. Like !!!! BRO how are you gonna give one of your main characters healing powers and never have him use them??!?! And its not like there werent opportunities!! Like, during the season 2 finale when Raf was injured and unconscious and everyone was telling them to go rest before their battle against those generals I was going "oh! Sulfus is gonna use those healing powers that he has but hasnt used for the entire rest of the series for some reason" but NO

Like, okay, in order to further explain why that sucks Im gonna go into another thing that really bothers me and thats the lack of gray morality

So, the angels as a whole are Good, the devils as a whole are Bad but in like, an emo school bully kinda way and anyone who threatens both angels and devils at the same time is Bad but in like, an actually evil way. Thats honestly perfectly fine in the first season, where we have the angels, the devils and Reina whos outside the binary and threatening to eradicate the existence of both angels and devils at the same time. When the devils are tempting humans into doing The Wrong Thing in the first season, I remember it always being unambigiously bad/selfish (in a bad way), while the angels are always in the right and theres never any doubts about that ever. The second season has these moments(?) that seem to call that into question but with absolutely no payoff

The most obvious is example is Sarah Jane, specifically her little plot about wanting to go to the mall with her friends but her mom not allowing her to because she wants her daughter to practice for a concert thats 3 months away. Thats unfair and her mom is obviously being shitty here and iirc even Urie and the other angels are like "thats unfair" but they dont wanna let the devils win so they convince Sarah Jane to just invite her friends to her practice instead of going to the mall and thats like. fine, I guess. I just think it sucks that the morality of the angels was only questioned for a brief moment and then tossed away because they found an adequate comprise, yknow?? I feel like they couldve had an interesting conversation about how its maybe not always wrong to be selfish (if youve watched Sanders Sides, basically the whole Selfishness vs Selflessness stuff but w/ angels and devils)

Also, it feels weird that no one really calls attention to Cassidy?? Yknow, that angel that was evil and wanted to incite a war?? That wanted it so much that she willingly worked with a devil??? But also, the War Of A Thousand Centuries was seemingly not considered to be bad itself, but rather the fact that Cassidy and her cringe fail kinda-husband tried to re-incite it after there war a law/truce put in place preventing them from fighting. And Im noticing thats kind of a theme in the series as Im writing it down here, where the Morally Wrong Thing tends to be the thing that makes you break a rule or disobey someone. And like, even beyond my own personal issues with that philosophy, that just makes for some pretty boring storytelling

And then theres the fact that. Okay, how do I explain this. It seems like theyre trying to make Raf a bit more 'diabolical' while making Sulfus more 'angelic' even more so in the second season, which, on paper, is a good way to approach their romance. But like, theyre not really doing that?? At least I feel like they arent. Its a bit hard to explain, but let me get back to those powers they gained right before they kissed. Raf uses her fireball powers quite a bit, she is (symbolically) being diabolical throughout the series, while Sulfus only uses his healing powers once, do you get what Im trying to say here??

Idk man, I was originally gonna write some more but ive been writing this post for hours andmy brain is running out of juice so yea. Hope you liked this

[loveinglymii2]

a ramble about queen of tears

if you come across this there is no proper grammar or punctuation. sorry about that, not really though.

I just genuinely dont understand why haein is so upset that hyunwoo would want a divorce like the way that they were barely even communicating, they werent happy, and her family treated him terribly and speaking of her family they wouldnt have lost their fortune if they had actually valued hyunwoo like if they had treated him like a family member and not some random man that haein married they wouldve been at least a little more cautious of eunseong bc hyunwoo had been warning them and telling them to make sure they do things correctly and they just keep ignoring him and being suspicious of the wrong person hyunwoo has been apart of that family for three years and at the first sign of something wrong they immediately turn their backs on him without even a second thought hes been working so hard at that company and they still didnt take him seriously and the grandpa pisses me off even more bc you believed some two bit bitty over your daughter AND son-in-law and she's been telling you something isnt right with that woman like he lowkey deserved to be scammed like this hell all of them with the exception of beomja deserved to be scammed like this the way they treated him was terrible especially that icky ass mother-in-law she definitely getting what she deserves bc not only is she terrible to hyunwoo shes also terrible to her own daughter like to blame your child for the death of your other child is down right diabolical shes a nasty woman she deserves this downfall and i dont even feel bad for soocheol losing his family hes an idiot that lacks critical thinking and he shouldve stopped his mom from treating his sister badly like he saw the way that woman was treating his sister and he was like at least its not me hello that is your sister and she didnt do anything but survive she cant take back what happened to their older brother and she wasnt in control of that situation either like she was just as likely to drown as her brother was only he managed to save her and die in her place

and going back to haein being upset with hyunwoo wanting to divorce her i just think it's also interesting bc while yes she loved him she did things behind his back so while we the audience knows that she broke down crying after the miscarriage of the baby and we know that she defended him when her family treated him bad (its been three years so we dont know if she was doing that the whole time or just recently started doing that) hyunwoo didnt know that so hyunwoo thought he was all alone to fend for himself to heal himself from the lost of their child and thats what gets me like yea you can say well he shouldve comforted her but how was he supposed to know she was breaking down crying when all hes seeing is her on a business phone call acting like she didnt just go through something traumatizing and how was he supposed to know that she was defending him when she'd let her family talk to him that way to his face and she would just stare ahead like they werent berating him he isnt a mind reader he cant and wont know her intentions if she doesnt display what shes intending to do and no im not blaming haein i get it people shut down and hyunwoo shouldve been more effective in communicating his feelings to her he shouldve sat her down and told her how certain things were making him feel but how can he do that if she also yells at him he was stepping on eggshells to not only appease her but also to appease his family-in-law idk it makes perfect sense to me why he'd want to divorce her

but with that said ik they love each other and honestly if by the end of this series and haein is still alive i really do hope that the two go into marriage counseling bc they cant communicate to save a life their whole marriage wouldve been fine if they had just sat down and talked to each other heck they mightve even been parents already if they had did that but instead they let it build between them and fester until resentment came and it's just crazy to me and again im not blaming haein im just looking at this from hyunwoo's perspective bc if it were me i'd feel the exact way nobody is a mind reader dont expect people to just know how you feel about them or a situation yes people have their different ways of showing love and affection and what not but every once in a while you have to show them how you feel and how certain things are affecting you and yea this goes for hyunwoo (even though again i think he was scared of her reaction to him telling her how he felt about things so..idk) but anyways so excited for this weeks episodes and im so happy that they both still want to be together so once they start actually communicating with each other (hopefully sometime soon) they'll think about getting back together they may even have a baby and i think that haeins family are going to start appreciating everything hyunwoo does for the family after this and actually treats him like a family member and not treat him like a random man off the streets of seoul lol and theyll care about the hyunwoo's family as well

[bloodbenderz]

humaniterations (dot) net/2014/10/13/an-anarchist-perspective-on-the-red-lotus/ this article from oct 2014 is very dense — truly, a lot to unpack here, but I feel like you would find this piece interesting. I would love it if you shared your thoughts on the points that stood out to you, whether you agree or disagree. you obv don’t have to respond to it tho, but I’m sending it as an ask jic you feel like penning (and sharing) a magnificent essay, as is your wont 💕

article

i know this took me forever 2 answer SORRY but i just checked off all the things on my to do list for the first time in days today so. Essay incoming ladies!

ok im SO glad u sent me this bc it’s so so good. it’s a genuinely thoughtful criticism of the politics in legend of korra (altho i think its sometimes a little mean to korra unnecessarily like there’s no reason to call her a “petulant brat” or say that she throws tantrums but i do understand their point about her being an immature and reactionary hero, which i’ll get back to) and i think the author has a good balance between acknowledging like Yeah the lok writers were american liberals and wrote their show accordingly and Also writing a thorough analysis of lok’s politics that felt relevant and interesting without throwing their hands up and saying this is all useless liberal bullshit (which i will admit that i tend to do).

this article essentially argues that the red lotus antagonists of s3 were right. And that’s not an uncommon opinion i think but this gives it serious weight. Like, everything that zaheer’s gang did was, in context, fully understandable. of course the red lotus would be invested in making sure that the physically and spiritually and politically most powerful person in the world ISNT raised by world leaders and a secret society of elites that’s completely unaccountable to the people! of course the red lotus wants to bring down tyrannical governments and allow communities to form and self govern organically! and the writers dismiss all of that out of hand by 1. consistently framing the red lotus as insane and murderous (korra never actually gives zaheer’s ideas a chance or truly considers integrating them into her own approach) 2. representing the death of the earth queen as not just something that’s not necessarily popular (what was with mako’s bootlicker grandma, i’d love to know) but as something that causes unbelievable violence and chaos in ba sing se (which, like, a lot of history and research will tell you that people in disasters tend towards prosocial behaviors). so the way the story frames each of these characters and ideologies is fascinating because like. if you wanted to write season 3 of legend of korra with zaheer as the protagonist and korra as the antagonist, you wouldn’t actually have to change the sequence of events at all, really. these writers in particular and liberal writers in general LOVE writing morally-gray-but-ultimately-sympathetic characters (like, almost EVERY SINGLE fire nation character in the first series, who were full on violent colonizers but all to a degree were rehabilitated in the eyes of the viewer) but instead of framing the red lotus as good people who are devoted to justice and freedom and sometimes behave cruelly to get where theyre trying to go, they frame them as psychopaths and murderers who have good intentions don’t really understand how to make the world a better place.

and the interesting thing about all this, about the fact that the red lotus acted in most cases exactly as it should have in context and the only reason its relegated to villain status is bc the show is written by liberals, is that the red lotus actually points out really glaring sociopolitical issues in universe! like, watching the show, u think well why the fuck HASN’T korra done anything about the earth queen oppressing her subjects? why DOESN’T korra do anything about the worse than useless republic president? why the hell are so many people living in poverty while our mains live cushy well fed lives? how come earth kingdom land only seems to belong to various monarchs and settler colonists, instead of the people who are actually indigenous to it? the show does not want to answer these questions, because american liberal capitalism literally survives on the reality of oppressive governments and worse than useless presidents and people living in poverty while the middle/upper class eats and indigenous land being stolen. if the show were to answer these questions honestly, the answer would be that the status quo in real life (and the one on the show that mirrors real life) Has To Change.

So they avoid answering these questions honestly in order for the thesis statement to be that the status quo is good. and the only way for the show to escape answering these questions is for them to individualize all these broad social problems down into Good people and Bad people. so while we have obvious bad ones like the earth queen we also have all these capitalists and monarchs and politicians who are actually very nice and lovely people who would never hurt anyone! which is just such an absurd take and it’s liberal propaganda at its best. holding a position of incredible political/economic power in an unjust society is inherently unethical and maintaining that position of power requires violence against the people you have power over. which is literally social justice 101. but there’s literally no normal, average, not-politically-powerful person on the show. so when leftist anarchism is presented and says that destroying systems that enforce extreme power differentials is the only way to bring peace and freedom to all, the show has already set us up to think, hey, fuck you, top cop lin beifong and ford motor ceo asami sato are good people and good people like them exist! and all we have to do to move forward and progress as a society is to make sure we have enough good individuals in enough powerful positions (like zuko as the fire lord ending the war, or wu as the earth king ending the monarchy)! which is of course complete fiction. liberal reform doesn’t work. but by pretending that it could work by saying that the SYSTEM isnt rotten it’s just that the people running it suck and we just need to replace those people, it automatically delegitimizes any radical movements that actually seek to change things.

and that’s the most interesting thing about this article to me is that it posits that the avatar...might actually be a negative presence in the world. the avatar is the exact same thing: it’s a position of immense political and physical power bestowed completely randomly, and depending on the moral character and various actions of who fills that position at any given time, millions of people will or won’t suffer. like kyoshi, who created the fascist dai li, like roku, who refused to remove a genocidal dictator from power, like aang, who facilitated the establishment of a settler colonial state on earth kingdom land. like korra! she’s an incredibly immature avatar and a generally reactionary lead. i’ve talked about this at length before but she never actually gets in touch with the needs of the people. she’s constantly running in elite circles, exposed only to the needs and squabbles of the upper class! how the hell is she supposed to understand the complexities of oppression and privilege when she was raised by a chess club with inordinate amounts of power and associates almost exclusively with politicians and billionaires?? from day 1 we see that she tends to see things in very black and white ways which is FINE if you’re a privileged 17 yr old girl seeing the world for the first time but NOT FINE if you’re the single most powerful person in the world! Yeah, korra thinks the world is probably mostly fine and just needs a little whipping into shape every couple years, because all she has ever known is a mostly fine world! in s1 when mako mentions that he as a homeless impoverished teenager worked for a gang (which is. Not weird. Impoverished people of every background are ALWAYS more likely to resort to socially unacceptable ways of making money) korra is like “you guys are criminals?????!!!!!” she was raised in perfect luxury by a conservative institution and just never developed beyond that. So sure, if the red lotus raised her anarchist, probably a lot would’ve been different/better, but....they didn’t. and korra ended up being a reactionary and conservative avatar who protected monarchs and colonialist politicians. The avatar as a position is completely subject to the whims of whoever is currently the avatar. and not only does that suck for everyone who is not the avatar, not only is it totally unfair to whatever kid who grows up knowing the fate of the world is squarely on their shoulders, but it as a concept is a highly individualist product of the authors’ own western liberal ideas of progress! the idea that one good leader can fix the world (or should even try) based on their own inherent superiority to everyone else is unbelievably flawed and ignores the fact that all real progress is brought about as a result of COMMUNITY work, as a result of normal people working for themselves and their neighbors!

the broader analysis of bending was really interesting to me too, but im honestly not sure i Totally agree with it. the article pretty much accepts the show’s assertion that bending is a privilege (and frankly backs it up much better than the original show did, but whatever), and i don’t think that’s NECESSARILY untrue since it is, like, a physical advantage (the author compares it to, for example, the fact that some people are born athletically gifted and others are born with extreme physical limitations), but i DO think that it discounts the in universe racialization of bending. in any sequel to atla that made sense, bending as a race making fact would have been explored ALONGSIDE the physical advantages it bestows on people. colonialism and its aftermath is generally ignored in this article which is its major weakness i think, especially in conjunction with bending. you can bring up the ideas the author did about individual vs community oriented progress in the avatar universe while safely ignoring the colonialism, but you can’t not bring up race and colonialism when you discuss bending. especially once you get to thinking about how water/earth/airbenders were imprisoned and killed specifically because bending was a physical advantage, and that physical advantage was something that would have given colonized populations a means of resistance and that the fire nation wanted to keep to itself.

i think that’s the best lens thru which to analyze bending tbh! like in the avatar universe bending is a tool that different ethnic groups tend to use in different ways. at its best, bending actually doesn’t represent social power differences (despite representing a physical power difference) because it’s used to represent/maintain community solidarity. like, take the water tribe. katara being the last waterbender, in some way, makes her the last of a part of swt CULTURE. the implication is that when there were a lot of waterbenders in the south, they dedicated their talents to building community and helping their neighbors, because this was something incredibly culturally important and important to the water tribe as a community. the swt as a COLLECTIVE values bending for what it can do for the entire tribe, which counts for basically every other talent a person can have (strength, creativity, etc). the fire nation, by contrast, distorts the community value of bending by racializing it: anyone who bends an element that isn’t fire is inherently NOT fire nation (and therefore inherently inferior) and, because of the physical power that bending confers, anyone who bends an element that isn’t fire is a threat to fire nation hegemony. and in THAT framework of bending, it’s something that intrinsically assigns worth and reifies race in a way that’s conveniently beneficial to the oppressor.

it IS worth talking about how using Element as a way to categorize people reifies nations, borders, and race in a way that is VERY characteristic of white american liberals. i tried to be conscious of that (and the way that elements/bending can act in DIFFERENT ways, depending on cultural context) but i think it’s pretty clear that the writers did intend for element to unequivocally signify nation (and, by extension, race), which is part of why they screwed up mixed families so bad in lok. when they’ve locked themselves into this idea that element=nation=race, they end up with sets of siblings like mako and bolin or kya tenzin and bumi, who all “take” after only one parent based on the element that they bend. which is just completely stupid but very indicative of how the writers actually INTENDED element/bending to be a race making process. and its both fucked up and interesting that the writers display the same framework of race analysis that the canonical antagonists of atla do.

anyway that’s a few thoughts! thank u again for sending the article i really loved it and i had a lot of fun writing this <3

[planetjisungie]

lucky charms- h.rj

characters; ravenclaw! renjun x hufflepuff! reader ft. gryffindor! mark and gryffindor! jeno (sigh)

summary; with the exams coming up, you need a little help with your charms. well you dont, you just needed an excuse to talk to your long time crush, huang renjun

an; i literally changed this on the spot 🤡 plot holes here i come- (also id like to think jeno is more of a hufflepuff but idk man)

sigh okay this is a long boi

end of year exams were in just a few weeks

yay, your absolute favourite !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sarcasm

now, charms

in room 99, classroom 2E in the south tower

i did my research

you were pretty good at charms, not nearly as good as you were in the care of magical creatures and herbology though

still above averagely good

you know who else was good at charms?

huang renjun

the star ravenclaw prince boy, the pride of the house and a very beautiful boy

best boi renjun

if jeno was being quite honest he was SICK AND TIRED of hearing you two pine over eachother

jeno met you in first year, and you quickly became best friends and even ended up in the same house as eachother

despite having different friend groups (your friend group consisted of you and eunji), you stayed best friends until now aka 5th year

just go with it okay

so as he was saying before i digressed, jeno physically is pained as he watched the longing glances both you and renjun throw when the other isnt looking

but it isnt his business to meddle with your lack of relationship problems

best boi part 2

BUT! but! he will give you both a tiny! eensy! little! minuscule! nudge

that nudge being forming a plan with you

you were slightly reluctant when jenos very enthusiastic face greeted you at the table saying he had ‘a totally brilliant, spectacular, show stopping, wonderful, flawless plan’

this was jeno we were talking about

the same boy who planned the failed midnight snack run a few weeks before

and as soon as he mentioned renjun your eyes narrowed

"proceed."

the plan was for jeno to ask renjun to tutor his friend who was falling behind in charms

said friend was you

and you were ahead of the class

bUT!! you agreed because he wasnt in your class, so there was no way he could know that right?

wrong.

who was in your class?

mark lee. one of renjuns best friends.

also the boyfriend of eunji and the reason you wanted to gauge your eyeballs out everytime you turned around to talk to them

thats right eunji ditched you to sit next to her little markie. bitch.

nonetheless, you agreed because your dumb, spontaneous ass forgot that renjun even knew mark, because if someone said ‘whos mark?’ you would go ‘eunjis boyfriend’

so of course, when all the students were making their way to their class, jeno caught up with renjun seeing as they both had muggle studdies

"hey man, i have a favour to ask"

stage one of operation: stop the oblivious fuckers from pining over eachother (that name may need some revamping) was a-go

"depends what said favour is"

smart boi™️

"is it possible to tutor one of my friends in charms for the upcoming OWLs?"

oh? this piqued china pretty boys interest

"i mean, sure, i could do with some revision too. tell them to meet me at the library after school"

and so jeno walked away with a smug smirk, victorious

and when jeno told you he had agreed later in potions, you were yet you werent surprised

so of you trotted after last period, kinda nervous because youre about to be in the literal breathing proximity of renjun

like obviously youve talked to him before but this time it was just you and him

alone

no get those thoughts out of your head

n e ways u perv

renjun sat at the back table, textbooks and notebooks with his neat writing in both chinese and korean all over the pages

smart boi part 2

so seeing him not looking at you

attention whore

wow why am i so mean today

you sat down and cleared your throat, placing your blank notebooks on the table so the boy wouldnt get suspicious

you had to pray to whatever gods were listening for your cheeks not to flare up the colour of the strawberries you had for breakfast

healthy girl™️

and the gods apparently answered your prayers

because as soon as renjun looked up and into your eyes you swore you were too distracted for your blood cells to even think about moving towards your face

and renjun nearly had a heart attack (by aoa)

poor boy

jeno had NOT told him that he would be tutoring you

he was going to be choked later

"sorry im late"

renjun was nearly offended that you would even apologise to him for being late by

2 minutes and 48 seconds

"no no its okay i havent been here long"

that was a lie he had study period last and has been sat in the same goddamn chair for an hour already but your presence made his ass cheeks ache less

so he started teaching you, but ???

you seemed to fully grasp the concepts

confused boi

excuse me ma’am/sir/señor/señorita whatever you prefer to go by-

you need to brush up on your acting skills dude

appalling smh your drama teacher back from your muggle school would be completely distraught

so for the next hour renjun ‘tutored’ you

things you already knew but this was a dream-

and actually he was a funny guy

he was also muggle born, so you could both relate over things you experienced as a kid

this lead to a raging debate over dora the explorer

that bitch was shaded in said debate, fully annihilated

hola soy dora your asshole

but,, it was fun. because jeno was pureblood and grew up knowing about all his magicky stuff so he was kinda boring sometimes

no tea no shade

but you ended the session with smiles on both your faces, cheeks literally aching with how hard youd been laughing and smiling

so lads

the next day at breakfast renjun was all happy, plonking himself next to mark at the gryffindor table because

man does not give a SHIT about the looks he was getting. he is huang renjun.

"why are you so smiley this morning? and why didn’t you come to my common room last night"

the gryffindor common room was the dreamie hang out

no one dared tell THE mark lee to go somewhere else with his friends

"sorry, last night i was tutoring y/n in charms" smiley boy still

mark seagull eyebrows: activated

excuse him?? charms?? you?? the one who got an outstanding in your report card??

something smells fishy here

"renjun... y/n got an outstanding on her charms"

eunji who had magically appeared next to mark basically said what he was just thinking

confused boi part ??

"wait what?"

but later on he didnt question you about it

he silently observed you

he told himself that anyway

quite honestly if you were spending time with him he was not about to complain

he was staring at you, simply put

my leng bby (thats you, youre my leng bby)

so for the next 2 weeks every day after school you would meet up to ‘catch up’ on your charms

that being said it literally always, every time, ended up with you two talking about something unrelated

like the 5th day you had a conversation about which series of power rangers was better

"SPD, obviously"

AM I THAT OLD?? on god i hate it here

"no, y/n, we all know that dino force is better"

i agree with y/n on this one pal

on the 7th day you talked about muggle sports that you both enjoyed

"i played a lot of cricket"

"cricket? okay tory"

"i am NOT a tory"

on the last day when you should have been, you know, LEARNING

you were having a lovely old chinwag about the x factor

"simon cowell is a king"

"i agree"

legend behaviour if you ask me

wait does chinwag exist in other countries??? translation: chat

so of course the exams came up

but you were dreading them for a different reason

this meant the end of tutoring with renjun

this was super bittersweet, you wanted to spend more time with eachother

you literally could it wasn’t that deep both of you are so dumb smh aint nothing stopping you

jeno agrees with me too, mans pulling out his hair still as you had somehow not gotten together yet

it was like watching snails race, incredibly frustrating but you know that there is the finish line somwhere over the horizon

so you took your exams and both of you passed with flying colours, obviously

smart kids

and you ran right to renjun to celebrate

seeing as he had

not really helped you but you thought that he thought he helped you

oh no honey he knew that you didnt need help

but he didnt know whether to confront you about it?

rip your guilty conscience

so after a long discussion with mark, our china boy decided to ask why the heck you wanted his help when you were absolutely fully capable

unlike mark

and when you saw him approach you first in the halls your heart went

NYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

that was the sound of a fast motorbike

"hi y/n"

‘damn renjun, couldnt have thought of anything better than that?’

"uhh hi renjun"

awkward silence by stray kids

"i just wanted to know why you asked for my help"

okay where is the nearest shovel and what is the most efficient way to dig a large hole-

as if renjun sensed your panic radiating off you in waves

which he did

"not that it was an issue! i enjoyed spending time with you, it was just, you didnt really need help"

he was a pure boy

so you puffed your cheeks and decided to just come clean

somewhere, jeno felt his senses tingling

"genuinely i just wanted to spend some time with you because i really like you"

renjun froze and wanted to smack his head into a wall

bruh

you noticed his expression and panicked yet again

stop panicking man its okay i gotchu

"it was jenos idea"

blame jeno is always a fool-proof plan b

unless you get pregnant, that would not be a good idea

so i guess its not fool proof

BUT I DIGRESS

renjun face palms and groans

"youre kidding me! all this time we wasted doing boringass charms work when we couldve gone on dates"

confusion™️

but?? you felt hopeful??

"i dont think im on the same wavelength"

"i like you too dumbass"

oH so YOURE the dumbass??

yes, yes you are renjun is best boi, accept the L which is really a W bc renjun likes you back

jeno who had found his way to you, listening from around the corner sighed in happiness

"fucking finally!!"

[stinkysidebitch]

BNHA students as youtubers! Pt.1

Ft. Midoriya, Bakugou, Tenya, Todoroki, Kirishima, Tokoyami, Kaminari, Jiro, Shinso, and Asui

-Midoriya

FITNESS CHANNEL!!!

He's all like: 😁🏃‍♂️🏋️‍♂️💪

He's not a douche abt it tho, its genuine tips and tricks to help other people 😌

Common guest in All Might's vlogs too

Generally discusses health and sometimes how to get in shape if you arent already 😋

Very helpful

Did I mention he's helpful?

Because he's helpful...

Does Dad vids with Eri sometimes 😍

Often features the Dekusquad 🤭

He was also on Present Mic's podcast but he wasn't talking about anything juicy so his airtime was cut in half 😔

Sorry my boy, but you aren't very creative with names... his channel name is just "Izuku Midoriya" 😩

-Bakugou

Step tf off Guy Fieri 🤬

Our boy is a youtube chef 👨‍🍳

Thinks that us "extras" need to learn from a pro

Yes, yes he actually does call his subscribers extras...

I feel VERY attacked ngl 😩

He do be kinda cooking doe 😳

Basically just bullies you into cooking properly

Has featured Kirishima a few times but after Kaminari shorted his brain AND the oven out Bakuguo swore to never let anyone BESIDES Kiri feature in his vids 😔

Kami was like: 🥴 and Bakugou was like: 😤

His channel name is definitely "Katsuki's Kitchen"

-Tenya

Ah yes, the CEO of boi hands

Tenya was a pretty difficult one tbh 🧐

Personally I see him as an educational channel on youtube 🤷🏻‍♂️

But not boring education, he talks about different types of villains to watch out for..

Definitely talks about evasion tactics and fighting styles

He's also unintentionally very funny

Does this a lot: 🤚🏻

Also did a series on how to be a good class rep

Please smash like, he's trying his best y'all 😩

He let his class pick his name (of course) so now he's stuck with "1-A's Dad" 🤧

-Todoroki

This guy is multifaceted

Meaning he does multiple things on his channel based on his interests

I see him as someone who teaches meditation and construction

Teaches people about proper Japanese home design and how to renovate it 🥰

YES, this is SOLELY based on when he changed the flooring in his dorm 😭

We do know that he likes traditional Japanese style homes though because he basically says that

I only said meditation because he's usually so chill 🧘‍♂️

I feel like either Mina or Midoriya introduced him to it because of how angry he can get sometimes so he needed it ☝️

Channel name is probably "Icyhot's World" because I really can't see him coming up with anything better, and also it annoys Bakugou 🤭

-Kirishima

The moral integrity of the youtube gaming sect 🤗

He has videos addressing current event issues too like BLM when things get really serious

YES, he is very politically correct

Respects wamen ☺️

His gaming videos are commentary and he usually plays online multiplayer

Expect to hear the voices of Bakugou, Kaminari, Sero, (ocassionally Tokoyami) and Mina whenever Kiri DOES play online

If they aren't all there (because they have their own channels to upkeep) sometimes he may add Midoriya, Jiro, or Shinso fairly often🤷🏻‍♂️

Rlly just depends on whose online, but he's open to playing with anyone

Works really well as a teammate, and is super positive and funny

Says that teamwork in games is just as important as teamwork irl (it's also "SUPER MANLY!")

He also loves to fuck with Bakugou in his videos a lot

Channel name is "Shitty Hair Plays" (much to Bakugou's chagrin)

-Tokoyami

Our goth lord and savior 🙏

Teaches us abt goth culture

He's like: ☻☠🧛‍♂️🖤

This includes goth design, history, styles of goth/alternative clothing, and also darker styles of music

Also reads his own spooky poetry

He's really good ngl 😳

Sometimes records himself gaming

Also his main feature is dark shadow so expect a lot of "ft. Dark shaow" on his page

Overall very interesting and deserves your subscription

And also his channel name is " The Dark Harvest Official"

- Kaminari

CrAcK cHaNnEl

Comedy reaction channel

He's kinda like Jontron, except he's an idiot 🚶‍♂️

At first I thought he might not have the self awareness to do this because he would need to be able to critique, but I honestly think Denki is smarter than he lets on 🤓

Does features, so think of the videos of Drew Gooden, Danny Gonzalez, and Kurtis Connor when they all collabed (or Noel Miller and Cody Ko)

Usually features Kiri and Sero (Bakugou gets too annoyed so he's rarely in the videos at all)

Mineta would get his ad revenue taken away so hes not in the vids

Also I hate him, so... 😌💕

His channel is probably called "Mr. Electric reacts"

We STAN a shark boy and lava girl reference 👏

-Jiro

I think you already know what I'm going to say

Obvs a music channel

Singing, playing instruments.. etc

Step aside Hannah Montana ✋👱‍♀️

She did do a video singing the transitions from the show as a joke though, so she isnt totally serious with her page either

Also has videos bullying poor Denki 🤧

Trys to teach you how to play but also does covers of her own

Has a few random videos of some of her classmates being morons on her page too.

I feel like her name would be "U.A's Taste" or something because sometimes it seems like no one else has any 🤷🏻‍♂️

She would def do a video explaining that

-Shinso

Shinso's page can only be described as a deepdive critique channel

He makes those 30 minute long videos discussing depraved youtubers horrible behavior with receipts, but he doesn't do it for drama, he does it to put the truth out there

And no I'm not talking about the big youtubers like "Tati" or "Pewdiepie", I'm talking like really screwed up abusers like "Onision"

(AN: Sorry this got so dark 😖)

POINTS OUT LOGICAL FALLACIES IN THE EVIL YOUTUBERS ARGUMENTS!!

But he also games sometimes, usually horror or online games

His audience challenges him to scarier games to try to get a reaction out of him but he NEVER flinches

He thinks jump scares are cheap

After one he'll just sit there and be like: 😑 "Well, that was annoying"

Firm believer in "if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen" (Needless to say a few people have deleted their channels from the roasts this man can dish out)

His channel is probably called "Shinso Listens" basically to make fun of Onision speaks 😅

-Asui

This one was easyyy

Our queen is a book critiquing channel

Think of strange æons and krimson rogue if they somehow had a child 😩

Yes, she did critique Onision's books and YES the videos did feature Shinso

And yes, it was entertaining as fuck

"Woah, that's a little harsh Shinso.. even for you.."

They both ripped him a new one in that video 😅

Not that he doesn't deserve it 👏

Mina reviewed Shane Dawson's books with her after he was canceled and sis... when I tell you it was pure genius 🖐😌

She and Tokoyami reviewed Gabbie Hannah's awful poetry book and it was PHENOMENAL

Her channel name is "Call Me Tsu" 🖐😌

Truly a gem on youtube 🤧

[dazais-guardian-angel]

Time for my feels dump thoughts on Diabolical Box...! y’all, this game. this game. I don’t think people give it enough credit for... a lot of what it does, despite the messiness of the plot reveals... but it’s so special and unique, in ways I’m only now appreciating. also this is gonna be really REALLY fucking long I am so sorry, but I have a Lot to say about the ending parts... i just love this game so much...... so i wrote a fucking novel bc of course i did.

also i played this in October, completely unintentionally, so that’s noice.

The amount of voice acting and cutcenes in this compared to CV is amazing, I love it so much, even if it is funny sometimes the dialogue they choose to voice and then abruptly cut off a few lines later.

I had COMPLETELY forgotten about Luke jumping on Chelmey and trying to rip his face off and it’s just the funniest fucking thing omg; Hershel in the background going “NO LUKE THAT’S HIS FACE” is comedic gold.

Will we ever know what Hershel was going to say when Chelmey asked him what Luke’s relationship to him was... dammit Luke why’d you have to cut him off.

Hershel calling the hamster “generously proportioned” is amazing. also “I’ve always said that helping rodents in need is among the duties of every true gentleman” Hershel... please tell me what other situations have made you say that... please...

Why is there an entire subplot about finding this Karen’s dog, just to make Chelmey look like even more of an idiot? if they needed to pad the game out more, they definitely could have done it with flashbacks or in places that I’m... ahem... emotionally invested in

Flora’s treatment in this game is so infuriating to me, like... why did they think this was a good idea? What was the point of bringing her into the plot for NO other reason than to be kidnapped and impersonated? Was it literally just because they needed a way for Hershel and Luke to run into Don Paolo and get the box back from him??? Why couldn’t, idk, Katia run into him in Dropstone and get the box from him and save Flora, that would still get the box to her and keep Flora in the group, and it would tip them off to Katia being related to all this even earlier, and Don Paolo could still be shown there if he absolutely has to make an appearance in each game. I know it’s because he has to be built up and then revealed, and because Hershel always has to have a dramatic point-n’-reveal every game, but whyyyyyy does it have to be at the expense of Flora. :))))) It would have been interesting to see her reactions to Folsense and Anton and everything, and not have Katia be the only female involved in all this; maybe she could, you know, actually have a personality!! hahaaaa who am I kidding...

beluga: “it’s already been a year since she passed away” me: whythehellyoucryingsodamnloud.jpg

Anderson talking about Dropstone and the sacrifices made to found it and how it can’t die out like “other towns”... with the song playing... whythehellyoucryingsodamnloud.jpg

The sheer coincidence of Katia going to Folsense on the same day that Hershel and Luke would end up in Dropstone and then there, and on the 50th anniversary of the town... not a likely one.

Didn’t some versions of the game come with a real version of the train ticket to Folsense? I want it D:

i also want a real Elysian Box, like can i commission someone to make one minus the whole you know actual gold, please, i’ll pay aNYTHING- *sobs*

LUKE HOW COULD YOU FORGET THAT HERSHEL IS AN ARCHEOLOGIST, AFTER ALL THE ARCHEOLOGICAL SHIT YOU’VE BEEN THROUGH

Hershel to “Flora”: “you’re as white as a sheet!” Don Paolo, minutes ago while the others aren’t looking: *furiously powdering his face mask or some shit*

Why was Anton’s diary lying in the street though... it doesn’t make sense that Katia or Beluga would have it, and they couldn’t open it anyhow. probably just a gameplay thing that should go unquestioned but I want to knowwww lol. Also wish Hershel and Luke had reactions to the entries.

Ilyana tho. Also bootleg Clive asdfghjkl

I LOVE THE TOWER OF HANOI PANCAKE PUZZLES

Am I the only one who doesn’t understand the obsession with the tea set... like yeah it’s fun to serve tea when you actually get it right, but I’m stuck with like two recipes missing and getting frustrated just trying and trying countless ingredient combinations on end because some of the npcs are NOT helpful enough in telling what to make :))))

Obviously Katia can’t reveal anything or say anything about why she’s there at all to keep the suspense till the end, but it would have been cool to see her working together with them and making a plan to get into the castle and help Anton aka I just wanted more scenes with Anton being nice and not flying into a rage over a misunderstanding ugh

It’s honestly pretty impressive some of the deductions/connections Chelmey makes in this game, despite his... other incredibly stupid ones lol

“iSnT iT oBvIoUs?”

WHY DOES HERSHEL RISK KILLING LUKE (AGAIN) WITH THE BOX. And why tf does it not do anything to them since they assumed it would...?

The biggest mystery of the series is how Pavel gets where he does, truly

The music in the forest is truly one of the best osts, god I love it. I also adore the Herzen Castle ost now, I never really noticed it before but it is WONDERFULLY creepy and heavy and melancholic and just... idk, those harpsicords go hard. damn.

Opening the Elysian Box is the best puzzle in the series, because of the meaning behind it. Or at least, it’s my favorite for that reason :^)

Alright folks so I’m gonna be completely, unabashedly honest here, and reveal myself to be the superficial, shallow fucker I am lmao: Anton is super hot and I’m still attracted to him even now, and I hate that we get so little time with younger him dklslskdfkflssd I AM SORRY I CAN’T HELP IT OKAY. BLAME THE VOICE ACTOR, HE HAD NO RIGHT TO SOUND SO UNEXPECTEDLY DEEP AND INCREASE ANTON’S HOTNESS LEVEL BY 1000%... just. god damn. damn. the dining room scene. the lighting. the way he puts his hands down and closes his eyes at one point. the way he says Herzen. the freaking sass with “chalk it up to my bad taste then.” the little clap. his entire design which just oozes Victorian era anime bishie beauty. kudos to the character designer who was like “well they said make someone cool and handsome and i wasn’t sure what to do but i tried and i guess it worked out” GOOD SIR BOY DID YOU SUCCEED. how dare this man turn me on so much, fUCK. And I know it’s super shitty of me to not like his old design as much!!! but just!!! why the beak nose.... why.... he was so gorgeous and then you give him the Bronev nose treatment..... i’m already so sad over the ending but you make him look so much sADDER, THE SADDEST POSSIBLE DESIGN FOR OLDER ANTON. It’s not that I mind him being old, I just wish he looked more like himself... there didn’t need to be such a drastic change. But I know I’m just being petty lmao. anyway stan Anton for most beautiful PL character always 🙏 Descole and Clive’s hotness have nothing on this man

*ahem* But to get back to serious topics, replaying this now when I’m older, with the ones after it in mind, I think I finally realize why this game stands out to me so much from the others, making it my favorite. To put it as best I can, Diabolical Box, to me at least, just has a different feel from all the other PL games. Yes, it’s still definitely a Layton game, you still investigate a mystery, there’s still puzzles everywhere, it still has a relaxing city or country feel to the atmosphere, there’s still lots of charm, but once you hit Folsense and the climax and the ending reveals, the tone sort of... shifts? Not drastically, but enough that’s different from any point in all the other games that I can remember; I feel like Last Spector might have the closest kind of atmosphere to Folsense at certain parts, but even then the plot of that game is nowhere near to having the same tone as this one. Diabolical Box, when you really look close at it and think about it, is dark. Dark in a way that none of the other games are, despite the darkness some of the others do have. And I think part of that is because almost every other game/movie is connected to the overarching story involving Hershel’s past and people involved with him, and so the drama and angst is very much grounded in London or other places Hershel would be/was, and in his time, but Diabolical Box is unique in that the story and characters in it have nothing to do with him. And to reflect this, Anton and Sophia’s story is based in the early 1900′s, the Victorian era, in a city so far separated from, again, everything to do with Hershel, that if you were to just watch their story by itself and take the professor and Luke out of it, and you knew nothing about the series, you could reasonably argue that it isn’t from a Professor Layton game at all. What I mean is that Anton’s story could be an entire anime all on its own surely it’s not obvious how badly I want that, nope, not at all, completely separate from this series, and it would work; it could be its own period era-esque drama series, still with all the supernatural shit intact later on. I can think of a few existing anime similar to what I’m imagining. 

And I really do think it would be amazing, because like I said this story is terribly, terribly dark, and sad; as a PL game, like a lot of the other ones, it can’t go deep into the nitty gritty of what makes Anton’s story so fucking depressing, but just like... Imagine it. Imagine being alone, for so long in that castle, so long that you don’t even know how long it’s been anymore, with virtually no one, after having your heart broken and being abandoned by the person you loved the most, and who you thought loved you, and getting no closure about it. This long post goes a ton of detail about Anton’s character and things he was probably feeling/reasons for his behavior, but in short, Anton’s mother is never mentioned, so combined with how distant he was from his father and the fact that he feels alone in his role in society and that no one truly sees him as a real person, it’s quite possible that he clung to Sophia unconsciously as a mother figure, and, in general, she was the only person who made him feel seen, and loved. The only exception was Beluga, but Beluga leaves the town and Anton behind after quarreling with their father, so... It’s just extremely apparent when you read the diary entries and his dialogue (with the voice acting) that Anton was always alone and terribly insecure, and that Sophia made him the happiest he ever was - and so her leaving him was devastating to him. He was alone for fifty years (and who knows how long it actually felt, to him), in a lonely castle and emptying town, his entire family either left or dead, his body slowly aging without him even knowing it, while he had a daughter and granddaughter born without even knowing it, and all the while he’s left with the misunderstanding that Sophia might have loved someone “better” than him all along, never getting answers, having to live with all that grief and guilt and blame and jealousy and self-hatred over a situation that wasn’t even entirely true. Imagine what your MENTAL STATE would be like, jfc it’s a miracle he’s as sane as he is in the game!! Not to mention everything that crashes down on him within TEN MINUTES AT THE END. Yes, Unwound Future and the prequels very purposefully heap the angst on with Clive/Dimitri and Descole respectively, like “we are trying so hard to make you feel for this guy cry cry cry” and I fall for it like the trash i am love them too, don’t get me wrong, but Anton’s tragedy is much more understated but in my opinion is by far the absolute saddest of them all. I just... i’m crying y’all, this poor man. give him a fucking HUG. Anton Did Nothing Wrong 2k20; he doesn’t even hurt the people he lures in with his vampire scheme!! he lets them go without a scratch!!! what a guy... give him a hug and blankets please i love him so much, him and Sophia- *sobs*

and also as a side note, I honestly think Descole/Desmond would fit perfectly into this game for a lot of these reasons, in the trend of “trying to fit Descole into the first trilogy”; he’s got the right Aesthetic™ for one thing, but mainly just he and Anton have a LOT in common...! actually, now that I think about it, Randall and Anton do too, but I much prefer the notion of Descole and Anton interacting. honestly, I’m toying with the idea of an AU where Desmond and resurrected Aurora end up in Folsense and solve that mystery themselves instead of Hershel and Luke; i think it’d be fascinating.

However, by the same token, as much as I LOVE this game and characters for all of those reasons... it also makes no fucking sense ahaha. How the FUCK does the gas work. The illness that started killing people when the ore was first unearthed and is the reason everyone starts leaving, is THAT from the gas I assume?? but like why?? cause eventually it just turns to making the town appear as it was years ago and keeping people young, so...? ARE ALL THE TOWNSPEOPLE NOT ACTUALLY THERE, OR THEY ARE AND ARE JUST YOUNG LIKE ANTON; I’m still not clear on this!! because Hershel at the end says they’re illusions, and yet when you talk to the npcs so many of them complain about being tired and feeling old, so what is the truth!! It would make sense if newcomers see the town as it is in the pictures, but there’s no reason for them to not age... in fact, I don’t understand where the not aging thing comes from at ALL, since if the idea is that the gas makes what you think will happen happen, how tf did that even come about in the first place??? There’s no way everyone who inhaled the gas would think the exact same things and have the exact same hallucination. And if fifty years passed in reality, how long did it feel like to Anton/others; surely it couldn’t have been that long if they never questioned why they weren’t aging? If the gas in the box put Schrader in a coma, what was his theory about what would happen? Why does nothing happen to Hershel and Luke upon opening it when they clearly assume something will happen? Related to other things, how does the box become the source of a rumor, and how does Schrader even get it? Do people just assume Anton is dead or otherwise gone, or do they know/assume he’s still in the castle but don’t try to see him because of the vampire? Does Beluga know Anton is still there, if he does it’s pretty shitty of him to ignore him, and why does he think the box has to do with the fortune of all things if he possibly knew Sophia wanted it and knew it had something to do with her and Anton (seriously I don’t understand Beluga, I really wish they’d done more with him; he looks so shitty even if you give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he knew the least amount possible)??? Did Sammy know that the drugged flowers related to getting into Folsense? Did Katia know how to get into Folsense, and what was she planning to do if she never found the box in order to prove she was who she said she was? Why do some of the npcs act like they know the deep dark secret of Folsense and keep saying Hershel and Luke don’t need to know, and keep talking about the town being cursed, like do they really know the truth?? Or not??? LEVEL-5 I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS AND I’M TOO DUMB TO FIGURE OUT THE ANSWERS. EVEN LAYTON VS. WRIGHT’S STUPID REVEALS MAKE MORE SENSE THAN THIS AAAAAHHHH

anyway DB best game anton hot Even with all the weirdness though that makes this game the most Layton the Layton series has ever Layton’d lmao, I still love Diabolical Box so damn much. I love it so much, guys. It’s not part of a huge narrative, it’s not connected to the main characters; it tells its own little story and it does that perfectly. It’s so unique from all the rest, like I said, the plot has so much depth I don’t really see talked about, Anton and Sophia’s story is so beautifully tragic and underrated on a mature level that none of the other games really reach, and despite how upset I am we don’t get to see more of them, their love story is so impactful and emotional just from what little we do see, despite some of the oddities of how it plays out... they’re so sweet together and I cry so damn much over them ಥ⌣ಥ Iris is one of the most beautiful and touching songs in the series, too, and my favorite. And I’m a sucker for the Victorian era and cute romance lmao, so it just gets me like nothing else does... it’s so wonderful. saddest PL game, I will die on this hill. Even if I seem to talk a lot more about some of the other games/characters simply because there’s more content to talk about and there’s more to say about the more flawed content. you can’t improve perfection *chef’s kiss*, deep down, I think, this game will always be my favorite. ❤️

[insidetheacademy]

Say You Love Me || ii

pairings: Peter Parker x reader (both Peter and reader are 18+!)

gif credits: tomhollandd

summary: peter and reader met once again after months of not seeing other

warnings: angst??? if you squint??? a bit of fluff if you squint too i guess???

part i part ii part iii part iv part v 

-

*flashback*

“hey, its okay, you’ll find another one.” Peter reassures you whilst his finger runs up and down your hair as you sob beside him on his pillow. you had just broken up with your significant other, Alex. they said you were too much to handle and that you could be a manic sometimes. you begged for them to stay, promising them that you would do better but they just walked away. “i feel like everything i do isnt enough for them,” you blurted out

Peter couldnt help but say “don’t say that, y/n. you’re literally the amazing person that I had ever met. you’re so kind, caring and just so out of this world.” Peter meant every word he said that night. You looked up at him with red swollen eyes and he opened his arms to attack you with his hugs. Peter didnt care that you had snots and such, the only thing that he had in his mind were that his best friend is safe with him.

Peter cupped your face, “cheer up, y/n, let’s go and get some slushee?” Peter asked trying to cheer you up with your favourite 7 Eleven drink. He helped wiped your tears off of your face with his thumb and you just nodded at his words.

“earth to y/n,” MJ said waving her hands in front of your face, “God, are you daydreaming about Parker again?” she scoffed crossing her arms. you look at her sadly, “i just can’t believe he rejected me that coldly, you know?” you went on and on about how you werent unsatisfied with his rejection. true, it has been 6 months exact that he had rejected you and you can’t seem to get your mind off of him.

MJ had enough of you wallowing in sadness, she puts her hand on top of your hands trying to make you feel safe and calm, “look, y/n, what he did was an ass move, but he also did the right thing. atleast he doesnt leads you on,” you looked at her face not knowing what to respond as she was right. at least he was being honest. She continued “who would’ve thought a well known New York City based painter like you would still be hung up on a guy like him,” you rolled your eyes at her attempt trying to brag about your achievements.

but you couldnt help but think about that night when Alex left you and Peter was there to help you. you’ve held that memory so dearly as it was the first time you had fallen for Peter. i guess you read it wrong when he tells that you were an amazing person. i mean, only a crazy person would think that complimenting an opposite gender friend is flirting. you thought to yourself too, did he really mean those words? or was he just trying to make you feel better?

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

you were walking side by side with MJ heading your way towards the nearest bookstore to buy your own copy of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. a series of private notes by Aurelius and his ideas of Stoic Philosophy. you remember when Peter would constantly call you a nerd for being so invested in books but you didnt mind as he was the worse of them all; a geek. He wouldnt shut up about Star Wars and all those superhero stuff. You’d gladly listen to him talking about it anyway as so is he about your books.

you and MJ walked into the bookstore and split ways to find each of your own needs. you head down to the history archives isle, to find the boon of your desire. you stopped in your tracks when you heard a familiar warm laughter, “dude, that’s messed up!” he exclaimed. out of curiousity, you followed the voice to see is it really who you think it was? to your surprise it was Peter and Ned. you were a bit shocked, you tried to walked away when Ned caught you.

“is that y/n? hey y/n!” Ned shouted to which you spinned to face Ned and Peter. you gave them a fake warm smile and walked over to them. “hey guys,” you said in the most boring tone ever. “how have you been, girl? it has been so long!” Ned asked to which you replied good. Peter has been eyeing you for the whole conversation, you noticed but you didnt want to look at his beautiful brown eyes knowing that doing so will break you.

you had to end the conversation to meet MJ knowing that she would definitely be mad if you took way too long even when you knew what book to buy. “woah, look at the time!” you said lacing in sarcastic, “i gotta go. MJ’s gonna be pretty mad at me for disappearing for this long.” Ned’s face lit up with excitement as the whole gang was here! “MJ’s here? dude we have to meet her!” Ned said nudging Peter’s arm. you immediately regretting everything that you had just said knowing them, this would probably turn into the biggest reunion hangout ever.

you found MJ in the arts section reading a book about Van Gogh. she looked up when she saw a figure walking to her, “hey! are you fini-“ she stopped mid sentence as she saw the two guys behind you. she immediately gave them the hugest hugs ever. it has been a long time since the four of you hung out like this.

the conversation then moved to a café. it was only Ned and MJ talking, you and Peter didnt talk a lot. you kept looking at Peter when he’s not looking and he notices it but he doesnt want to say anything.

Peter on the other hand had to break up with Jane when he found out that Jane was having an affair with a guy from work. He was upset, he couldn’t even step out of his home for the whole six months. thats why Ned is here. he pushed Peter out of his shell.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

it was 9pm already. Goodness, time flies when you’re catching up with old friends or so you thought. you parted ways with MJ and Ned but funny enough, you forgot that your apartment was near Peter’s so you two had to walk together. but not really together, just five feet apart from each other to avoid the deathly awkward silence.

you were doing fine walking on your own when you heard a rustling behind you, you checked to look and it was only Peter. you raised your eyebrows and faced forward, “look, I wanna say that I’m sorry,” he spoke. you took out your earphones to say “for what?” pretending to be clueless but you were fully aware about what’s he saying. you just wanted some sort of confirmation that he knows he treated you a bit coldly that night.

“for rejecting you. so coldly in fact. I just dont know what the hell happened for me to reacted like that. I know that you’re probably not gonna forgive me for not feeling the same way.” he said scratching his head, but he was so wrong. why wouldnt you forgive him? feelings just don’t reciprocate and thats okay. you understood plus eventhough you wanted him so bad at that specific night, you can’t just take away someone’s once in a lifetime.

you reassured him that it was fine and that you understood him. you explained that his rejection made you even more aware of yourself and how you sort of found yourself through it all. Peter spoke up again, “so a painter, huh?” he nudges you. you let out a breath to the nose laugh and said a tiny yeah. he then follows up with a “i saw your paintings at the painting exhibitions and i must say they’re really pretty. they’re different than what you used to paint back in high school.” you stopped in your tracks and looked at him to find some sort of ‘haha i’m just joking i dont really give a shit about your paintings’.

you felt so happy that even when you stopped talking he was still keeping tabs on what you were doing. it sent a feeling to your stomach that you hadnt felt in the span of six months. you smiled at him and said “well, i’m honoured that you think so, Parker.”

“here’s me,” you said to Peter arriving at your apartment complex. not too shabby. the awkward silence came back once again between the two of you, not knowing how to end it. “so uh-“ the two of you spoke in unison, you stopped and laughed. “I would love to go out with you again. I’ve missed you so much.” Peter said, your lips curved into a smile “Wednesday, 12:30pm, don’t be late.” you said to him as you walked up the stairs to the inside of your apartment.

He didnt have the time to process it properly but he knew he just got a date. He felt so giddy at the fact that he got his best friend back but he doesnt know that you still want more.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

a/n; part two!! thank you so much for the positive feedback! i’m honestly considering on making this into a little mini series! let me know if you are interested <3!

[itsays]

I want to watch Daughters since it first appeared as a suggestion on iQiyi. I haven't started yet because 1) I've never watched a Thai drama; 2) I haven't been able to enjoy (is this gramatically correct? I don't think so) any drama for awhile and 3) I'm afraid it will be too sad or explicit. I'm okay with sad shows, BUT I've seen the trigger warnings on mydramalist tags. Could you ellaborate about how cruel it is? I know that for sure it isn't a show for binge watching. +

+ To summarize, I want to know if it's too explicit regarding to both sex and violence, because I don't like shows that dwell on explicit scenes. This being said, the fact that it's a female centric drama sounds interesting, so I would like to know (sorry for so many questions!) if the friendships are nicely portrayed. No spoilers, please. Thanks in advance for your patience and have a nice week.

I added both your messages into one!

daughters is an amazing drama with amazing acting and overall an amazing cast! in terms of production it’s just so perfect! HOWEVER yes there are a lot of trigger warnings :( the sex isnt explicit i think that’s not the explicit part of the show at all, there are however instances of abuse (verbal, physical and sexual) which i was personally not ready for and i certainly wasnt thinking they would make me as uncomfortable as they have because i tend to deal with explicit scenes rather well. for the drug use i would say it is as explicit as you can go for thai dramas which since you’ve never watched one let me specify: it is all censored. it is all there on screen but censored. to me the fact that the characters and story lines feel so realistic is what makes those scenes so difficult to watch, not it been overly explicit or gruesome. personally what i’ve been doing is skipping over a scene if i cant handle it because it doesnt affect the plot because by simply watching 5 seconds of it i already know what is happening and it’s not like they dwell on it as if it were “torture porn” or something (also there’s not much skipping to do for me at least, you’re not gonna have to skip every 2 scenes).

as for their friendship... i am a very emotional person so i wanna give you my “emotional” opinion but also a more rational one.... 

i think it’s just... so wholesome and beautiful, it is a found family dynamic.  if you’ve checked the iQiyi page you know this is about a group of kids from marginalized communities and broken homes, so these kids all come together and are a family to each other, a support system they cant get anywhere else. they never judge each other they just wanna help each other really. sadly i have to be honest... the more the series progresses the more obvious it gets this is no longer a healthy friendship, i mean it starts out relatively innocent but it gets to a point where is just a group of helpless kids who NEED guidance and actual parental figures and that’s just not something they are gonna get from other kids in the same situation as them. the factors of being a family and always helping each other are still there but also i admit it has become a viscous cycle for them at this point. even so i still love their friendship so much because even at their worst they recognize their friendship is all they have, i just have to put myself on a more realistic perspective and admit it’s not healthy though, as much as i love them. this is very conflicting to me because i genuinely LOVE their friendship and it makes PERFECT SENSE i just feel the need to admit it’s not healthy.

the show is really worth watching in my opinion but i dont want to sugar coat the fact that it does have triggering scenes which you can either skip (like i have a lot of the times) or you can choose not to watch it for that reason honestly.

also just my personal opinion, but i actually wanted to binge watch this show, just take it all in one go you know... the only reason i didnt do that is because i grew too impatient and now im literally just counting down the days for the next episode everyday tbh 

[dyxnamicart]

my stupid highschool oneshot thing

look im not a writer, (I used to be when I was fourteen, haven’t done it since then so ya know, you dont use it you lose it lmao)

Anyways this has been highly requested that I post it, im a bit mad because its not exactly how I wish their dynamic was, I’m not great at writing banter (or anything i’m an artist now plewse) but ya know Also DISCLAIMER: This is a piece of fiction, it in no way reflects real life Dan and Phil (In fact my au switches up their personalities a fair bit) and do not tag them okAY P E O P L E They dont wanna see it and I dont want them to see it (Even if this isnt a particularly shippy piece lmao people are getting very angsty as of late) I also don’t have an editor so sorry for any mistakes  Anyway here ya go heathens 

Dan didn’t notice the opposing teams jock barrelling towards him, not until his leg had swept under his own, causing him to fly through the air, ball no longer in his possession. 

In fact it all flew by in a matter of seconds. Dan didn’t really have time to process exactly what was happening until he felt the shock of pain that travelled up his wrist and down his arm as he landed heavily onto it, crying out as he rolled once or twice before coming to a stop… He couldn’t really tell. There was a whistle blow, but the bustling around him seemed dull in comparison to the loudness of the pain in his wrist. 

He hissed as he was righted, pulled up and put steadily on his feet, being ushered to the benches, it only felt like five minutes before the game was back on course, bar Dan to be left on the sides, a few claps on the back from his teammates as he let his head come down from the spinning it was doing. 

The nurse on staff did a pretty shoddy job of bandaging, but to her credit she did ask if he wanted an ambulance. If his dad knew an ambulance was called because he hurt his wrist... he didn’t even want to imagine the searing look of disappointment he would receive. 

So he just declined. 

The game was one of the final ones of the season, they were playing against the local private school, which had a surprisingly amount of suspiciously beefed up kids, though with private school money Dan wasn’t surprised they probably had some ins with the law and extra ‘help’. 

He really wanted to play in the final, in fact his coach had even been considering him for the team, not that Dan was amazing at football, but he wasn’t the worst. He was passable at best, probably why his parents weren’t here right now to witness the semi, something he supposes he should be counting his lucky stars for now he had an injury as mediocre as a sprained wrist, but now there was a nagging pull in his gut of his own disappointment. 

He waited out the game on the bench, figuring he should at least be there for his team for the results, even with a sprained wrist he didn’t want to run away without at least talking to a few of his mates afterwards. 

-

Phil didn’t see the tumble. 

He was perched up in the bleachers, trying to ignore the way the mild and darkening sky had began to stew whipping winds that tore right through the threads in his sweater, by sketching insurmountable things he could see. 

He didn’t usually go to games, not only was it not his scene, but he would either end up insanely bored or find his eyes following Dan Howell’s god damn limber body. But this was the semis, and he totally wasn’t here to occasionally glance at a certain panting number 91, he at least wanted to show his support for the school. It wasn’t his fault this game was boring and his sketchbook looked far more inviting. 

He only looked up when there was a big murmur and gasps coming from the crowd around him, and he couldn’t see who it was at first, but there was a boy sprawled on the ground. 

It didn’t take long to figure out it was Dan, and his eyebrows furrowed deeply, closing his sketchbook and shoving it into his bag. He ended up walking down a few rows in the bleachers, just trying to see if the daft idiot was okay, and he sat down again much closer. The nurse did an awful job at bandaging his hand, he could see that from here, and he would have to fix it after the game. Well.. he didn’t have to, of course, but he figured Howell was too much of an airhead to fix it properly and as much as the other grated on him he at least wanted him to be comfortable. 

When it came to the end of the game, Phil’s school lost, and there was a brief celebration for the other school as they paraded off the field, while Dan’s team just huddled around to talk to the coach and then walk to the locker rooms, obviously trying to act casual even if they had essentially just been eliminated from the finals. 

Looking around, a lot of the families and students were milling out, many of them disappointed by the outcome of the game.  

This was their star team, and there had been a surprisingly large turnout for the event, to have it all end this anticlimactically felt a bit wrong, if he was being honest, even if sports definitely weren’t his thing. 

Phil headed down towards the locker rooms, some of the boys were already heading out, chatting and bumping into each other as they walked. Boys were talking, over half of them shirtless. He tried to avoid looking at them, while Phil had come to terms with his sexuality internally, he wasn’t out to his school, despite the obvious digs lots of the jocks and ‘cool kids’ would make. He wasn’t exactly subtle. 

Dan hadn’t noticed him, he was sitting on a bench and chatting to a teammate, but some of the boys closer to the entrance had. 

“Ay! It’s Danny’s little bitch, what’s new Lester?” A boy Phil knew as Jason laughed, throwing an arm around his shoulders, leaning heavily on him. 

Phil grunted, and shoved him off. “I’m not anyone’s bitch. Especially not Howell’s.” 

There was an ‘oo’ that rippled through the boys, and it was safe to say that Dan had noticed him. He furrowed his eyebrows, and stood up. 

“A teacher told me to help Dan.. carry his stuff with his hand like that.” He faltered off, because that half baked excuse really did make him sound like someone’s bitch. But by this point people were beginning to lose interest and ended up either packing up to leave or going back to chatting amongst themselves about a hot girl or something Phil honestly couldn’t care less about. 

Phil walked towards Dan, throwing on a mastered look of indifference and annoyance.

“What are you doing back here?” The brunette sighed deeply, running his good hand through his hair. “As if I don’t already get clowned on enough from seeing you during actual school hours.” He said dryly. 

Phil rolled his eyes. “I saw that sad excuse for a nurse ‘wrap’ your hand. I’ve seen children under the age of 4 wrap toilet paper around themselves better.” 

Dan groaned as he fell back to his sitting position on the bench. “Good deed Lester huh? You aren’t a guardian angel you know.” 

“Are you going to turn down actual help with that wrist, Howell. Seriously.” He dropped his bag on the ground, and knelt down, ignoring the few whistles he got from the people still in the room. 

Dan rolled his eyes as he looked down at Phil, arched eyebrow and holding his injured wrist with his hand, like he didn’t trust him. “Fine.” He sighed, setting his hand down on his leg, looking down at Phil with a suspicious and unless he was imagining it, flushed face. 

Phil carefully lifted the brunettes injured hand, frowning at the small pang of guilt he felt when Dan hissed in a sharp breath, quiet, as if being a little louder would shatter his reputation in one fell swoop. 

By now the locker room had basically emptied out, Dan’s mates sauntered away, hefting their heavy gym bags over their shoulders as their voices echoed down the hallway and slowly faded into the cool night air. 

Dan and Phil sat in silence for a few moments as Phil examined the bandage. Dan seemed to relax a little, and he allowed the feeling of calm to wash over them now there was no eyes examining their every move. The indifference and hostility seemed to drain from the air.

He didn’t know if it was the late night game or the lack of people, but he felt as though he was back before highschool, back before their fall out. Before their life became a series of quips and tension seeping into the fond memories he once had for the boy in front of him. 

“Why do you play, when you end up hurting yourself like this?” His question was genuine, none of the concealed fire that was usually behind his voice when he talked to Dan. 

Phil used his other hand to unroll the bandage. He had seen the first aid kit it came from, the contents being the single bandage, two band aids and a single cotton swab. Not the most ideal for a sport like this, hands on and physical, but their school wasn’t really known for their state of the art resources. 

Dan looked unsure of whether or not he should give a witty response or answer seriously. In the end he seemed too exhausted to spit out a clever one liner. So he opted for the truth. 

“I don’t know..” Dan huffed a breath out of his nose, like he was out of practice with talking about his emotions. “The guys are cool.. people like a jock you know?” He pauses for a moment, like he was struggling with whether or not he wanted to continue. “And I kind of want my dad to be proud of me? You know my dad. I want him to think.. I’m one of the lads. One of the boys.. not a royal screw up son.” He snorted, good hand rubbing the back of his neck like he was trying to play off his words as ridiculous. 

But Phil didn’t laugh. 

“Proud of you?” He repeated, slightly quieter as he slowly started to wind the bandage around Dan’s stiff wrist. 

Dan shrugged, looking away and seemingly focusing on a spot far across the room, like he was trying to be anywhere but here, talking to a friend who had been distanced by time and change. 

But Phil remembers, he remembers his curly brown hair bouncing around when he was excited, when he was jumping around playing cops and robbers, he remembers his loud and boisterous laugh and the way his cheeks dimpled and filled with colour. He remembers a time when he knew the boy in front of him more then he knew anyone in the world. When he thought Dan was his forever friend and that nothing would ever change that. 

Guess something changed. 

“You know I’m proud of you,” He continued, not looking up from bandaging. He could feel Dan’s eyes on him now, he could feel the incredulous and doubtful eyes bore into his skin, see into his soul. He didn’t seem to have expected an actual answer in response. “I’m proud of you when I see you play piano. When I see your eyes light up and when you lose yourself in the keys. When you recite dumb Shakespearen poetry and when you are on stage commanding the spotlight, when the only person who matters is you. That’s what I’m proud of. That’s what makes me think, THIS is Dan Howell. THIS is who he is meant to be. Not a shallow jock with a sharp tongue and attitude. I’m proud of the real you.”

He clipped the bandage pin on the end of the roll, now safely locked on Dan’s wrist, and he went to pull his hand away but was stopped by a hand placed over his. 

Dan’s eyes were how he remembered, not in way they were for the past two years, glazed over as he tried to cram his way into a puzzle he didn’t fit into, but filled with an unfathomable tenderness and something he couldn’t quite put his finger on 

They didn’t need to exchange words, the soft smile Dan gave him spoke a thousand words, making up for time that felt lost before now. 

He stood up, finally dropping Phil’s hand and grabbing his jacket off the bench. “Come on, I’ll walk you home.” 

-

Their silence was welcoming as they walked down the hall towards the exit. The last few years had been full of quips and jabs, fast insults and banter that sometimes toed the line as not quite friendly. This silence, it was new, but it felt right. Dan couldn’t quite understand, but there was a shift that felt comfortable. 

Dan had known Phil a long time, longer then anyone in this god forsaken school. He was quiet and reserved and he enjoyed painting and drawing. He was creative, and he didn’t care what people thought of him. He was unapologetically himself, and that was something that he only wished he could be. 

For the longest time it was him and Phil. Dan and Phil against the world, playing Mario cart and watching shitty movies, always at each other’s houses like they belonged together. 

Then high school happened.

The desire to fit in hit Dan like a ton of bricks. While Phil was content to remain a Mario kart loving geek, Dan couldn’t stand being the butt of the joke. He couldn’t stand his dad being disappointed whenever he brought Phil home to do something nerdy. As the years went by it became a sort of crutch for him and Phil to make snide remarks at each other as they passed in the halls, glaring across the halls and that’s how it stayed. 

Don’t get him wrong, he loved to see Phil riled up. He loved to see his eyebrows furrow together and his eyes roll. His arms crossed and his posture unimpressed. If anything that was his favourite part, the way his voice flooded with heat and passion, as he stared at him with the intensity of a bonfire. He loved to tease him and play his surprisingly short temper like a fiddle.

But he wasn’t attracted to him. No way. Phil wasn’t a pretty girl. He did NOT find his eyes pretty and the way his hair sometimes fell into his eyes and his hands didn’t itch to run his hands through it. 

He was straight. He had to be. 

His heart dropped a little, and he couldn’t explain why, but he looked over at Phil, who was walking beside him. 

They were outside now, and it was raining, not too heavily but enough to get you fairly wet. Despite the fact Phil was wearing a sweater and long overalls, he could see him shiver, the fabric of the sweater probably allowed the biting wind to nip tight through it.

He shrugged off his jacket, and gently wrapped it around Phil’s shoulders, forcing them to stop momentarily. The street light cast a soft light over them, and his eyes met the other boys, and for a moment they stared at each other, Dan watching as raindrop followed the contours of Phil’s face, a drop following his cheekbone and the slope of his jaw. 

He coughed, rubbing the back of his neck again as he started walking. “Okay okay, lets get you home, Lester.” 

“Are you sure you aren’t cold?” Phil enquires inquisitively as he sped walked a bit to catch up with him. 

He shrugged. “Still running on adrenaline I guess.” It was a lie, he was slightly cold. But it felt right, and he continued to walk with him in silence. 

Phil was holding the jacket around himself as they approached his house, and they stopped just under the porch, the light flickering on to illuminate his face. 

Dan stuffed his good hand in his pocket, and he clicked his tongue as Phil went to shrug off the jacket to give back. “Nah, wash it first, don’t want your nerd germs on my clothes.” Despite the insult, he found himself smiling warmly, and Phil too just chuckled. 

“Alright, I’ll give it to you on Monday or something, Howell.” 

Dan saluted as he turned to walk away, and he could feel Phil staring through his back as he walked back into the rain. They were only a street apart, but he knew that was going to be one long walk. 

[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

*clears throat* *pulls up powerpoint* *shuffles speaker notes*

okay kids strap in this is gonna be long probably. im gonna add a read more so hopefully that works, otherwise i am,,so sorry,,

w that lets begin

so. lets start w the basics

season 1: didnt like him. really didnt like him. i have Issues w suicide as a topic in general so when he baited midoriya he lost any fondness i couldve had towards him. then his actions durnig the battle training? hes a fcukin maniac. but i enjoyed learning more abt him as a character so whatever. i thought his confrontation w midoriya in the aftermath of that was,,interesting

season 2: still dont like him, but his eventual coming arnd during the final exam made me more open to him. also sports festival was,,,interesting, ig. i thought it was interesting how he wouldnt accept the win; if he was the same character he was in season 1, he wouldve taken it, i feel like. but he didnt. so hey, growth smwh

season 3: i thought i didnt like him, but then he got kidnapped and i got a case of the shakes(tm) until he was rescued. i rlly vibed w midoriya screaming and crying while he was kidnapped. cut to the provis license exam:

(excuse my crying abt aoyama lmao)(and also the fact that i used to call bakugou “bakugon” yes i know thats not his name yes i did that bc i didnt like him and i think im funny as shit). then,,,the scene. kacchan v. deku 2. uhh i was vibing w him honestly. hes a mood,,,regrettably,,,until he beat midoriya at least

season 4 (so far): pls stop yelling, regrettably relatable gremlin

now lets dive into what all that means huh

i dislike bakugou for the following reasons.

- suicide-baited midoriya. not only that, but he tormented him for years simply because he couldn’t get over his own private feelings; midoriya did nothing to deserve his scorn. literally nothing.

- beyond even that, is still a prick to most everyone he meets; he’s short and irritated and won’t give anyone the benefit of the doubt (at least not as first). 

- even now, he still has issues giving respect or even just being decent to both people he knows and people he doesn’t.

- speaking of, he has never ever apologized for his previous actions. not even after he finds out he’s wrong (like when midoriya tells him he never, ever, looked down on him). he hasnt even really apologized via action rather than words if you wanna try that route with me. he might be better than he was, but he refuses to acknowledge that he was ever wrong in the first place and thats not functional

- hes so focused on “winning” as a concept. it doesnt matter if youre supposed to be an ally to him; if he perceives you as being in his way, he’ll do his damnedest to fucking destroy you. he has few genuinely heroic qualities (not to say he has few good qualities, just few heroic ones); hes just strong and determined, but he’s a case study of how those qualities can be twisted as all fucking hell

- hes so proud. he is s o fucking proud. he has such an issue with pride that i cant fucking handle it sometimes man

i like bakugou for the following reasons.

- he has grown. he might not have said anything to anyone about it, but he has grown as a person since the series started

- he does have morals and he sticks to them. they might be basic things such as “dont be a villain” but theyre. something and he stands by them. hes not a slimy snake is what im saying

- hes funny. when he isnt actively bringing others down, i actually enjoy the screentime he has, bc its really funny, esp when he’s interacting w his friends and theyre having visible fun messing arnd w him

- this particular reason is hard to phrase so let me just. try and word vomit it correctly. i didnt expect him to be capable of blaming himself for smth like all might’s retirement. but he was and i,,,it adds layers to his character that i appreciate a lot. so its not that i like that he feels guilty abt it, but what it means for his character

- his interactions with kirishima. its proof that he’s learning how to be better, slowly but surely, and how to care about others properly. its sweet, genuinely and wholeheartedly

- hes not always rewarded by the narrative, and that makes him much more human to me, which i really appreciate. the biggest example i can think of is that he didn’t pass his provisional license exam on the first try. i think he’s gonna have a low point eventually, but hopefully, from there, he tries to build his way out into a better life as a better person

yeah

its just...very complex. he reminds me of myself, or at least a person i used to be. he actually reminds me of a couple combinations of ppl i used to be; just like bakugou, ive had smth similar to both a superiority and an inferiority complex in the past so its djkfjkdjnk,,,regrettably relateable,,,,,,not at the same time like he does but yknow the feeligns and how they clash are still there

but yeah. its bc he reminds me of myself i both hate him and like him.

like he reminds me of aspects abt myself i h a t e. i have issues w pride, i used to be a huge jerk (not to the degree he was, thank god, but i have a conscious now so when im reminded of how i used to be in like elementary school, i feel ashamed and since bakugou hasnt fucking,,,acknowledged,,the abuse he put midoriya through yet,,i get angry with him)

and the one guilt episode we saw him have reminded me of a very dark time in my life (2016) and its just. oh no. so thats where the anger fizzles out because i cant hate that more than i just feel pity abt it

in contrast, its bc he reminds me of things i hate abt myself that i have high hopes for him. i crawled out of the hole i was in; i made it through the stages of being a prick and then being thrust into a guilt-induced depression. im certainly not a good person, but im much better than i was

so just,,im already proof that ppl can change, but,,,,if i had a character to cling to when doubt came creeping in, i think that wouldve be great. i know im not the only one that feels like this. if bakugou can make the right turnaround, i think he could mean a lot to a bunch of people, me included

obviously the turnaround would have to be done right (and he better fucking beg for midoriya’s forgiveness) but i have hope that it can be

he has a long way to go, both in action and in word. but i am hopeful for his development. he reminds me of many things i hate about myself, but also to push on despite those things. my feelings about him are complicated due to that

yea. heres my book report sir djknkjnsknfjkn

[angellhardy]

off limits

Pairing: Roger Taylor x reader 

Words: 2.7k

Warnings: mild swearing

AN: Helloooo. This is my first BoRhap story and if you’re interested its going to be a series! I think probably 3 or 4 parts!  If its like i imagine it, its going to be very angsty (but i love it). Also english isnt my first language so there probably will be some mistakes :) 

PS: the first few lines about the reader being pregnant is a foreshadowing about whats to come! The rest of the story tells how the reader ended up at this point! (just clarifying bc there was some confusion) ENJOY!!

next part

You didn’t know what to do. What to think. Your mouth hang open, getting dry from your heavy breathing. You stared at the stick in front of you with your eyes fixated on the little blue plus sign. With your hands shaking you picked up the other two tests that you took from the bathroom counter and looked at their results, just to see another confirmation of your worst fear. You were really pregnant. You feel your knees go weak as you let yourself slide on the bathroom floor hoping the cold tiles on the floor will calm your nerves but it’s useless. You let out a shaky breath before you mutter a desperate “fuck” and close your eyes to stop the tears from falling.

When you got a call from Brian you were surprised. He hadn’t called you in a few months, which you understood with him being on tour in America and the band really taking off. But to be honest you just thought that’s that it for your friendship and he would forget about you eventually with his new lifestyle, which hurt but you were coming to terms with it. He was one of your dearest friends since you were 12, maybe even your best friend. You saw each other every day and were like brother and sister, although some people around town always gossiped that you were more but you and Brian just laughed about it. Your friendship started to strain when you two went to different colleges and only saw each other a few times a month. He would call you every other day to tell you about his band smile and how he missed you and how you should come to their next gig. But unfortunately you barely made it to any gigs, so you only saw smile once live before it evolved into queen. 

That was the day you met Roger Taylor for the first time. You remember walking into the small pub where they were playing, cigarette smoke clouding the room and people swaying to the music on the speakers. Brian told you to come early so you can chat before the gig so you did. At this time you hadn’t seen him in a few weeks so you were excited to see him again and to finally witness him playing with his band. Without thinking you walked yourself over to the bar.

“What can I get you?” Asked the bartender with a friendly smile.

“Oh just a beer please!” You answered and had your beverage just a few seconds later in your hand. You turned around, facing the pub and started searching for Brian and his messy mop of hair but couldn’t find him anywhere.

Suddenly a man next to you started speaking. “Looking for your Prince Charming? Because I think you just found him.” he said with a smirk. Stunned you looked at the man that just started speaking. Messy blonde hair, big blue eyes and wearing a floral button down shirt with the top buttons open. You have to admit he was gorgeous. “I’m roger!” The man said ripping you out of your thoughts and seemingly caught you staring at him, causing his smirk to only grow more intense. “I’m (y/n).” You said introducing yourself to the stranger. Roger leaned closer to your ear and asked in a sly voice “What a pretty name....so are you here alone?” Your breath hitched as you felt his hot breath on your neck. Turning your head to answer you suddenly realize how dangerously close your faces were. Trying to sound calm you replied “No...I’m actually here with Bri...” when you were cut off by your name being called from across the room. You turned to see Brian walk over to you and before you knew it, he picked you up from the ground and swirled you around making a few people stare at you. “Brian stop it! Let me down!” you said between laughter with your arms tight around his neck.

“Sorry i’m just so excited that you’re actually here!” He beamed at you with happiness before he finally put you to the ground again.

Roger cleared his throat behind you making Brian glance at him suddenly like he didn’t realize roger was there too. “Oh roger, here, I want you to meet someone. This is (y/n), my sister!” Roger suddenly widened his eyes before you could clear the air. “Not his real sister. We’re not blood related but he’s still like a big brother to me.” You said looking up to see Brian smile at you fondly, totally missing how your last sentence made Roger relax again. “Me and roger actually just met a few minutes ago.” You continued speaking, a smirk growing on your face.

“Oh is that so?” Brian asked, turning to look at roger seemingly already knowing what you were going to say. Roger just looked at you, shaking his head at you and trying to stop you.

“Yeah he just told me that he’s my Prince Charming.” You said, watching Roger as he looked uncomfortably around the bar, avoiding looking at you and Brian. Your best friend sighed beside you annoyed and just said “Roger. No.” which made Roger snap his head at you both. “What?” he asked with a scuff.

“Roger, (y/n) is off limits. Not her.” Brian said with a stern face and serious voice.

“That’s not really your decision to make, is it?” Roger shot back with a grin.

You just watched as they talked, not knowing what to say. “Roger, no. You can’t have her.” Brian said, taking your hand and dragging you away from roger and across the room. Roger quickly got up from his seat and walked after you both. He walked beside you while Brian walked in front of you both, clearing the way for you, not noticing that roger followed you. Roger leaned closer to you again and whispered, so only you could hear it “Makes me just want you more, princess.” You looked at him shocked and he just smirked and winked at you, before disappearing in the crowd of people on the dance floor.

When you watched them perform on stage you really tried to focus on Brian. You really really did. But somehow your eyes always found their way to the blonde drummer behind him. Watching as he drummed with such ease, always a smile on his face as he sang into his microphone. It was addictive to watch him. Apparently you stared at him a bit to long because your eyes met his for a second and you quickly looked away, knowing that roger caught you and formed a smirk on his face again. From this moment basically every time you saw each other over the months it was Rogers goal to make you blush, to tease you with flirty phrases or come dangerously close to you without reason. Sometimes he succeeded, sometimes you flirted back and sometimes you shut him down. It was honestly a lot of fun but never blossomed into something more as you knew Roger and knew how he was just a lady’s man. You refused to be one of these girls which relieved Brian more than you know. He just couldn’t see you get hurt, especially not by one of his best friends.

But the flirting between you and Roger never calmed down, not even as smile turned into queen and they got a new bassist and a new lead singer. They started working on an album shortly after that. A few times Brian invited you to come to the studio with them and you could already feel it back then that they would be big. And you were right. You saw them less and less as they toured around the country and when they left for America you already knew that you wouldn’t hear from any of them for some time.

And now it’s been 13 weeks and suddenly you heard Brian’s voice at the other end of the line.

“Hello? (Y/N)? Is that you?” He spoke.

“Brian?” You ask, surprised to hear him.

“Oh (y/n)! Yeah it’s me! It’s so good to hear you again! Sorry I didn’t call sooner, we were so busy with touring and recording the new album.”

“Bri, it’s alright. I totally understand.” You answered with a smile on your face.

“I wish you could see us. They really love us here. Every night is sold out.” You could hear the happiness in his voice.

“I’m really happy for you guys, that sounds fantastic. But I do have to ask, why are you calling me now? Not that I mind of course but is there a reason for it?”

“You know me so well (y/n).” He laughs. “We are coming home for a week. Next week actually and I really really want to see you again. I have so much to tell you! And we had the idea to all eat dinner together. You and me and the band. They would like to hang out with you again. And Freddie would like you to meet his girlfriend Mary, so she would be there too.” A grin formed on your face just thinking about it. Finally talking to Brian again. Freddie calling you darling and telling you the funniest stories. Deaky just making weird faces at these stories which makes them even better. And Roger shamelessly flirting with you. Yeah your heart made a little jump at the last part but you quickly shove that feeling away.

“That sounds amazing Brian! Why don’t you all come to dinner at my place. I could cook for you all.” You suggested as you had a quite big flat and loved cooking. “That would be wonderful (y/n). Is Sunday around 7 okay for you?”

“It’s perfect!” You said happily. Brian has to hang up shortly afterwards but not before telling you again how excited he is for Sunday.

The next few days went by in a blur. You only really focused on the preparations for Sunday. You cleaned your apartment everywhere, organized enough seats and planned what to cook. You went with a simple salad, bread and lasagna, because you wanted to do something everyone enjoys.

And then the day was finally here. Dinner was nearly ready and you were doing the last bit of your makeup as you heard a loud knock at your door. You practically ran to the door and had the biggest smile on your face as you opened the door. The boy in front of you mirrored your expression as he walked in and took you in his arms. “It’s so good to see you again (y/n).” Brian said as he pulled you tighter.

“I’m so happy you’re here again.” You replied to him. “Okay enough of you two, we also want a piece of her so move over Brian.” Freddie said with a dramatic eye roll before he hugged you too. Mary and John followed soon after. And then there was just Roger left. He looked as gorgeous as you remembered. His hair was a bit longer and he wore a tight shirt with a red leather jacket over it. “Hello angel. I hope you missed me as much as I missed you.” he said with a wink before taking you in his arms. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you felt his hands slide across your hips onto your lower back. You notice the smell of his perfume and cigarette smoke and take it deep in. “You’ve been here for 5 seconds and are already flirting with me again?” You ask as you start to let go of him. “I will never stop flirting with you, princess. You’re just too pretty.” He said, making you blush, so you quickly look to the ground, trying to hide it.   “You two lovebirds can make out another time, now it’s time for food!“ Freddie shouted from the table you set up and you quickly got a few feet away from Roger. „Oh shut up Fred“ Roger said as he took as seat next to him. You noticed Brian’s serious face in Rogers direction but chose to not acknowledge it. You told everyone what you made as put the food on the table. „Looks really good (y/n).“ Mary said as she put something on her plate. „Thank you.“ you replied as you sat down next to Brian. “So how is living on the road in America?” You asked in the round. “Oh it’s great darling! People over there finally see me as the star that I always was!” Freddie exclaimed, making everyone laugh. “Could you see a lot of the cities?” Mary asked them and they all shook their heads. “Not really. Most of the time we arrive at the hotel, are there for some time and then go to the venue and from the venue straight to the hotel again before we leave the city behind us in the morning.” John explained as he put another fork of your food in his mouth. “Well Roger leaves a bit more behind than just the city.” Brian said in a annoyed look. Confused you look at him and than roger, who just looks pissed at Brian. “What do you mean?” you ask Brian. “Well I can remember there were countless times when some girl he took home the night before called him screaming at him why she woke up alone in the morning. But that’s nothing new for Rog.” He recalls looking straight at Roger with a smirk on his face. Roger looked like he was ready to throw hands. You knew exactly why Brian told the story just now. To remind you of how Roger is to the woman he slept with. And it hurt to hear that. You have to admit there is this little crush that you have on Roger and hearing how he slept around made your heart sink a bit. But you quickly brushed it off as you asked Mary what she was doing as a profession to change the subject.

After dinner you all talked for a bit before Mary and Freddie said that they’ll go home now as it was a long day. John said he’ll tag along a few seconds later. Which left you with just Roger and Brian and an awkward silence between you three. You wanted both of them to leave actually. You were a bit hurt by Roger that’s true but he could do whatever he wanted. You were mad at Brian for trying to tell you once again what you can and cannot do. “I think I’ll also go to bed soon, so if you don’t mind.” You said standing up, giving them a hint. “We can help clean up, if you want” roger said. “No thanks, I would like you two to go actually. I’ll clean up tomorrow and now I’m just really tired.” You tried to explain without seeming to distressed. “But we barely got to talk today, (y/n)!” Brian said as he stood up and walked a bit over to you. “Well I think you said enough for today.” You answered and looked him in the eyes, to make sure he knows exactly what you’re talking about. “We have the whole week Brian. I’ll call you tomorrow morning okay?” You tried to clear the air a bit. 

“Please just let me stay 5 more Minutes. Please (y/n).” he said as he looked at you with pleading eyes. Knowing you couldn’t resist your best friend you nodded at him. “I think I’ll leave you two alone.” Roger said as he got up and walked over to the door. You followed him there to say goodbye. “Thank you for the food. It was delicious. And it was really nice seeing you again.” he said in the most genuine voice. “It was nice seeing you too, Roger.” you replied with a smile on your lips. To his surprise you pulled him in for a hug again. You didn’t see his face but you just knew that he smirked as he put his arms around you. “Make sure you’ll dream of me tonight, princess.” he said as he let go off you as winked once more before exiting through the door. 

You turn around and see on Brians face that he just watched the scene in front of him. You saw that he didn’t approve. “Relax Brian.” you said as you started clearing the table. “You know i just don’t want you to get hurt. He’s not good for you (y/n).” he said in a stern voice.

“I think you made that very clear tonight with your little speech about all of Rogs groupies. I mean really Brian? What a way to ruin the fucking mood!” you spat at him. “I’ve known Roger for 2 years now and nothing ever happened between us but you still get weird as soon as we’re both in the same room. I’m an adult Brian! I can do what I want!” you said getting louder. Brian looked at you a bit shocked but quickly shook that off. “I’m sorry (y/n), okay? I’m just very protective of you because you mean a lot to me.” he said in a softer tone now. 

“I know Bri but who even says that i want something from Roger?” you asked him getting frustrated with the situation. 

“I see it in your eyes. The way you look at him is not like the way you look at me or the other boys. I know you like him (y/n). I just wish you didn’t”

[watchmegetobsessed]

Crush // Shawn Mendes mini-series part 2

part 2 wohoooo!! this is honestly such a cute story i love writing it, im currently finishing the last part so i’ll probably update very soon!

part 1

masterlist

The awkwardness soon vanishes. This clear new chapter we just opened with Shawn allows me to loosen up and just enjoy a nice evening. Aaliyah and Eric seems satisfied with the outcome, the parents seem to hit it off quite easily and when we leave they already start making plans for another meetup.

“It was so nice meeting you!” Karen sighs happily as she hugs goodbye to all of us.

“You too, email me that recipe you told me about!” Mom points at her and she nods her head laughing.

I’m just about to step out of the house when Aaliyah grabs my wrist and pulls me back. I look at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“I need your help with a little something. Can you come over sometime tomorrow?” she whispers confidentially.

“Um, yeah. Around what time?” I ask.

“Three pm?”

“Sure,” I smile at her and she lets go of me.

On the way back home I’m thinking about what Aaliyah could need help with and the only thing I have in mind is Eric’s birthday that is on the 29th. She must be planning something special for him.

I call Maddi around midnight when I’m already in my pj’s, but I know she must be still up, maybe even drunk. For my surprise, she answers the phone quite modestly.

“How was the family union?” she asks chewing on something. I throw the cushions off of my bed and crawl under the blanket.

“Um, very interesting,” I chuckle closing my eyes and just shaking my head at the thought of the evening.

“Uh, spill the tea!” She cheers clearly very thirsty for some drama, though this story is not as juicy as she would want it.

“Guess who Aaliyah’s brother is!” I say, but I don’t expect an answer so I just continue. “Shawn Effing Mendes.”

“What?! Are you kidding me?” She gasps. “How did Eric forget to tell you this small detail?”

“Apparently, he thought it doesn’t matter to me, which is kind of true, but there is more.”

“What more? Did he hit on you? Because I’m not talking to you again if he did. He is hot!”

“No, he didn’t, but what you don’t know is that we have history.”

“Okay, now I’m confused!? How do I not know about this?”

“Well, remember my ex, Dylan? I told you about him.”

“Yeah, the asshole who cheated on you,” she hums.

“Well, Dylan and Shawn used to be best buds when we started dating, but the guy hated my guts, or so I thought. He was always mean to me, talking against me and just… avoiding me like the plague.”

“I thought he is the nicest person on earth.”

“He might be now, but when I knew him, he treated me like shit. So it was pretty awkward to see him again after all these years.”

“And how did it go? Was he an ass again?”

“No. He was… nice. Well, we both acted awkward in the beginning, I didn’t know if he would continue his act with me, but he turned out to be nice. And then at one point he told me he is sorry for everything in the past and he was just acting like that because he wanted to amuse Dylan.”

I turn to my side and stare out the window.

“That’s good, right? I mean, he grew out that mean phase and he is all good now.”

“Yeah, it’s just still weird to be around someone I knew from my Dylan phase.”

“But it’s Eric who is dating Aaliyah, why would you be constantly around him?”

“Aaliyah asked me to go over tomorrow, I think she is trying to put a surprise together for Eric’s birthday, so I’m spending the afternoon at the Mendes house.”

“Oh, then keep me updated about the details and sneak me a shirtless photo of Shawn please.”

“Maddi!” I scoff laughing. “Why would I even see him shirtless?”

“Maybe he likes wandering around in his home without clothes on, how would I know?!”

“Unbelievable. I’m going to sleep.”

“Bye bitch,” she sighs making me roll my eyes at her smiling.

“Bye.”

  I sleep late the next day, it’s past noon when I actually make it downstairs looking like a real human being. Eric and Dad are watching a documentary on WW II. while Mom is reading the newspaper at the dining table. I join her with a bowl of cereal.

“Do you have any plans for today?” She smiles at me over her narrow glasses as she turns a page. I lean closer hitting a confidential tone.

“I’m helping Aaliyah today, she asked me to go over around three.”

“Oh, birthday surprise for Eric?” she asks clearly excited.

“I think yeah.”

“Great. And you will probably see Shawn again.” Winking at me she puts the papers down.

“Why does that matter?” I ask with my mouth full. She caresses my cheek before standing up and walking over to the sink for some water.

“Isn’t he a nice young man? I think the two of you would look cute together.”

“Mom, you are literally talking about the biggest pop sensation, he is not really the kind of guy who just casually dates,” I say.

In my mind all these celebrities are living their wildest life. Even if I were interested in Shawn in any way, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t even get in the game, he must have thousands of girls waiting for him in line. We are not really on the same page.

“Oh, come on. You guys knew each other in high school, you have a past, that connection must mean something!”

“He was an ass to me!” I blurt it out making her eyebrows raise.

“He was? What did he do?”

“It’s nothing,” I roll my eyes, but Mom gives me a demanding look. “He just didn’t seem to like me no matter what I did, he was avoiding me most of the time when I was with Dylan and also made some pretty rude comments sometimes.”

“Maybe he was into you,” Mom shrugs and I almost choke on the milk.

I start coughing like I’m about to die and my eyes start watering when I’m finally able to breathe evenly again.

“No fucking way!”

“Charlie! Language!” She hisses at me, but there is a smile hiding in her eyes. “You know, young boys tend to do it. They are mean to the girls they like.”

“Mom, it wasn’t in kindergarten, it was ninth grade or something. I think he just really didn’t like me back then and I don’t blame him.” I was annoying, thinking back at it. But hey, all teens are annoying!

“You can never know,” she sighs.

 I totally ignore the theory Mom tried to make me believe, there is absolutely no chance of the nonsense she told me, and this is what I keep telling myself as I’m on my way to the Mendes house.

“Hey!” Aaliyah greets me with a wide smile. She is now wearing some more comfortable clothes than the last two times I saw her, the grey sweats and lose white shirt must be her home wear. “Come in! My parents are out at a friend’s place, and Shawn…” she starts, but just when she is about to finish he appears on the top of the stairs.

“Is here,” he chimes in. I look up and there he is, in a pair of checked pj pants and a black shirt. Looking at it, I think Aaliyah has his shirt on, it seems like the same size.

“Hi,” I smile at him.

“Come, let’s sit.” I follow Aaliyah into the living room and we sit down to the couch next to their Christmas tree. From the corner of my eyes I see Shawn going into the kitchen and for a moment I’m actually disappointed he is not coming with us.

“So. I want to surprise Eric with cooking for him, but I have no idea what. I tried to find out what’s his favorite, but he says it’s his favorite to everything!” she growls frustrated. I shake my head laughing.

“That’s typical.”

“Yeah. So do you have anything in mind?”

“Well, he really like tiramisu. He can eat tons of it, all the time. That’s good for dessert,” I offer. Aaliyah has her phone in her hands and she is typing everything I say down.

“Okay, got it.”

“Um, he likes gazpacho. He thinks it sounds fancy and you know, he likes everything with ketchup, so a soup that tastes like tomato was made for him.”

“Oh yeah, he pours so much ketchup into his sandwiches, it’s crazy,” she rolls her eyes jokingly. “Okay, so gazpacho. Anything else?”

“Um…” I try to think about the times we went to restaurants and Eric got really excited over the food. “Oh, we were once at a place and he ordered grilled mushrooms and he couldn’t stop moaning, it was very embarrassing, but I guess this meant he really liked it.”

“Grilled mushrooms, perfect,” she nods to herself noting everything down. “Do you mind helping me pick out his gift too? I have a few ideas, I want to go into the city and buy it tomorrow, I already looked up some jumpers online, but I can’t really decide.”

“Sure, show me!”

We spend the next thirty minutes scrolling through everything she had saved as a possible gift. She found some really nice ones, her taste is fantastic. As the time is passing I’m starting to feel like I’m with a friend and not with my brother’s girlfriend and I’m just hoping Eric will keep her around for a long time.

She asks me to stay a little bit longer so she can show me the awkward photos she has taken of Erik since they’ve been dating, but she gets a call and excuses herself quickly. I stay there in the living room, looking around a bit, I haven’t really had the chance yesterday, I was too occupied with the situation.

Shawn walks in, this time he has a headband on, keeping his locks back from his face.

Damn, Maddi is right. He is hot.

I shake my head at the thoughts and try to look as casual as possible.

“How is the birthday planning going?” he asks plopping down on the couch next to me.

“Good, Aaliyah basically had everything right, I just had to choose the best options.”

“How crazy is that our younger siblings are dating? I mean, I was thinking about it yesterday, the last time I saw Eric, he was about twelve or something. No wonder why I didn’t recognize him when I met him,” he chuckles and I nod agreeing. Aaliyah changed a lot in the past years too.

“Yeah. Strange that they are not babies anymore. I mean, I’m still mad that Eric is taller than me.”

“Oh I remember how you always wanted to get taller!”

“You remember?” I ask surprised. I used to never stop talking about my height, later I accepted my fate.

“Yeah, I remember once you told Dylan how you want to wear the highest heels to the dance so you two can be the same height.”

I laugh at the memory. I remember it too, it was quite early in our relationship and Dylan asked me out for the Halloween dance. I wanted to look taller and told Dylan I would wear heels. Of course, I ditched the plan as I found out how uncomfortable they are and ended up wearing my Converse.

“And at the end I looked like a punk princess with my Converse and mini skirt,” I scoff at the thought of my outfit for that night.

“I think you looked pretty,” Shawn says and I look at him. I catch his small smile before he shakes his head clearing his throat. What the Hell? “High school feels so far away, right?” he quickly says.

“Um, well for you I guess, for me… not really,” I chuckle shaking my head. “Your life got turned upside down, but not much has happened to me since then.”

“What? I don’t believe you. I’m sure you’ve been having plenty of fun. Parties, dates and everything.”

I can’t help, a sad smile plasters across my face. He can’t be more wrong.

“Not really… I had some rough years after Dylan and I split.”

“Can I ask what happened? I mean, after the split,” he shyly asks.

“Well, since I was a dumb naïve little girl, I needed an entire year before I could even think about getting to know other guys. Now it all just seems like the biggest bullshit. I shouldn’t have cared that much. And I’m not a fan of partying, I only go out on birthdays and maybe New Year’s Eve,” I shrug. Maddi has been trying to boost me up a bit, she attempts to drag me out every month or so, but I’m really not that kind of type. I thought I was, when I was with Dylan, he was a popular guy, I kept going to these lame parties with him in the last year of our relationship, but I never really enjoyed them. Shawn was long gone by then.

“I’m sorry Dylan played you so bad.”

“It’s fine, I mean, not your fault,” I chuckle. “But what happened to you and him?”

He sighs scratching the back of his neck.

“Not sure, I guess we grew apart and I realized that he is an ass. When I became a private student we kept in touch, but I met new people and I saw how different a friendship can be, so… I cut him off, I guess.”

“Did you guys fight?”

“Not really,” he shakes his head. “Well, we had one last very awkward phone call when I was in Atlanta, if I remember right. It was forced and… just awkward, really,” he chuckles shaking his head.

“And your life has been better since Dylan is out of it, right?” I grin at him.

“Yeah, you must know about it.”

I laugh nodding. I know everything about it!

Before I could even think about what I’m saying, my mouth just opens and the words roll down.

“The only good thing I got from my relationship with Dylan is that I know you now.”

My eyes widen and I wish I could take it back.

“I- uh I mean…”

I don’t even know why I’m so nervous suddenly, I didn’t even tell much. But for some reason, I can feel myself blushing.

“I meant that he basically ruined my senior year and I needed so much time to get myself over him, but at least now we can talk like, normal people,” I quickly add somehow saving the situation.

“What do you mean he ruined your senior year?” he asks with furrowed eyebrows and I’m happy he didn’t get caught up on what I said before that.

“Well, he successfully made me push all my friends away, leaving me totally alone when we broke up.”

“Wait, what? How about that friend of yours, um… I don’t remember her name, you always sat together at lunch.”

“Rochelle. Oh Dylan played us dirty. He told me Rochelle keeps hitting on him and being my dumb naïve self I believed him and not her. We had this huge fight and I called her a bitch. No wonder why she didn’t care about me when I was alone in the last couple of months of senior year.”

“Ouch, that sounds horrible. I’m sorry he did that.”

“Why did we even like Dylan in the first place?” I ask laughing to myself. It still bothers me how blind I was, I wish I could just shake myself.

“I have no idea!” He sighs rolling his eyes. “I’m sorry your senior year got fucked up, I wish I could be there to have lunch with you.”

I turn to him and swear to God he is blushing! And it is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I feel the urge to touch him, anywhere, to take his hand in mine, but I stop myself.

“That’s… nice. Thank you,” I whisper touched.

As I’m staring at him I realize this is probably the closest I’ve ever been to him. I wonder how many girls want to be in my position, they see the popstar, the heartthrob from the stage, while all I see is the guy who used to be mean to me in high school but now we are friendlier than ever. I could never see him as a celebrity.

“Okay, so I found some- Oh am I bothering?” Aaliyah walks into the room with her phone in her hands and she is giving me a knowing look. I quickly clear my throat turning away from Shawn.

“No, you girls just… do your thing. I have to make a few calls.”

Shawn jumps up from the couch patting his sister’s shoulder before walking out of the room. Aaliyah takes his place, still grinning.

“What?” I ask her playing dumb.

“You guys… I felt the sparkle,” she says wiggling her eyebrows.

“What sparkle? Aaliyah, you see everything in pink because of my brother.”

“Oh stop, don’t tell me you don’t like him.”

“I don’t know him,” I say truthfully. “The last time I saw him I was dating a douche and he was also being a douche to me. I can’t tell if I like him, because I don’t know his new self.”

“But you seem to get along with him pretty well and I’m sure you are attracted to him.”

“I’m not talking about this with you, you are his sister!” I gasp feeling myself blushing again.

“Whatever. But I think you two would look cute together.”

I refuse to carry on with the conversation about me and Shawn and Aaliyah fortunately doesn’t force it on me. I leave the Mendes house around five, Aaliyah thanks me the help and I can’t help but feel disappointed I don’t see Shawn anywhere when I’m leaving. Aaliyah’s speech about me and Shawn is slowly getting to me.

By dinner, all my thoughts are racing around him and soon I find myself stalking his social media profiles. I knew he is very famous, but seeing the numbers on his pages makes me gasp. Millions of people are following him, waiting for him to post anything. The last photo he uploaded to his Instagram is with his family, Karen and Manny are smiling proudly into the camera while Shawn and Aaliyah are messing around next to them. Before I could realize what I’m doing I double tap the picture liking it.

“Oh shit,” I suck my breath in. I hesitate, but then I realize how dumb this is. He must be getting millions of notes every minute, he won’t see this.

Gaining some confidence from this, I decide to follow him and continue my stalking session. I’m a few months deep into his profile when I get a notification. Opening the tab my eyes widen.

shawnmendes followed charlieprkr

I guess I was wrong about the notification getting lost. A moment later I see that he has liked two of my photos.

One was taken on a family vacation. Eric and I are posing at the beach, I have a red swimsuit on and the wind is blowing my wavy blonde hair that was so much lighter back than from all the sunshine. The other one is a picture Maddie took of me last month. I’m sitting in our armchair with a mug of tea in my hands, smiling shyly at the camera. We had Christmas lights in the window and the lights made me look colorful in the photo.

I’m just about to put the phone down and go to bed when I get a dm. I’m not surprised to see Shawn’s username, but I definitely get excited.

shawnmendes I’m happy I’m not the first one to accidentally like your photo, though I was minutes away from that haha

I smile at the message rolling my eyes.

charlieprkr Ha. Ha. I was hoping I can easily hide in the millions of your followers.

shawnmendes You could have, if only I weren’t stalking your profile as well. Fate?

charlieprkr I guess.

My fingers linger across the keyboard, trying to think of something else to write and keep the conversation up, but nothing comes to my mind. I almost give up when I get another message from him.

shawnmendes I’m in a nostalgic mood, I want to have a walk in the neighborhood, around our school tomorrow. Would you like to join me?

My smile grows wider than ever reading his lines.

charlieprkr Totally.

shawnmendes Great! Sometime around 4 pm?

charlieprkr Perfect. Where?

shawnmendes I’ll meet you at your house and we’ll go from there.

charlieprkr Then see you tomorrow!

shawnmendes Yeah, good night Charlie.

[endwalkr]

this is an ask based thingy but im really in the mood to infodump so im just gonna answer them all under the cut !

Favorite video game?

starting off with the absolute hardest question huh? i can’t possibly name ONE favorite game of mine because i adore my favorites for many different reasons. my overall favorite video game is ffxv or botw. ffxv because it has brought me so much joy for such a long time, and because i have such a connection with the characters. botw because i was actually in the fandom when it first got announced in 2016 so i got to be there when the hype was at an all time high– and finally being able to play the game after waiting for so long was an unforgettable experience. i have more favorite games but ill talk more about them in the ‘’special place in ur heart’’ question.

First console you owned?

my first console wasn’t a console. my friend and i used to play on her nintendo dsi all the time and at one point tiny little me reeeally wanted one of my own so i saved up and got one in [redacted] when i was 7. my first actual console was a wii though, we got that around the same time.

A game that holds a special place in your heart?

ffxv and botw mean the absolute world to me, but super mario galaxy and skyward sword are very important to me too. skyward sword is the game that got me into zelda which got me into anime which got me into final fantasy etc etc etc.  super mario galaxy was the first non-mini game collection and more adventure story-ish game i played. i was so proud when i beat it for the first time and mario was my first ever ‘’fandom’’ :’) 

Favorite video game character?

bro. i cant pick just one so i’ll choose one per game : prompto, ryuji and link. they were all my comfort characters at some point and i projected like crazy onto them. this doesnt mean that i wouldnt absolutely die for noct or zelda. 

Least favorite video game character?

i dont think theres anyone i distinctly dislike? i always talk about hating ardyn but that’s because he’s just a salty bitch. as a character i think he’s a great villain and i rly love him. i honestly always end up liking everyone somehow, maybe there is someone i just forgot about but i cant remember at all. 

Favorite genre?

adventure games, or action rpgs. 

Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

every character ever, but i distinctly remember the moment i fell in love with prompto sjghfkshd i was watching a playthrough of xv in december 2016 because i didnt have a ps4, and the guy got to the scene in galdin quay where the bros learn insomnia fell. i had watched about 6 hours of the game by that time and wasn’t particularly interested in the characters but not uninterested enough to drop it. i hadnt even gotten a good look at the characters faces yet, so when the camera zoomed in on prompto when he said ‘’might not be save for us here!’’ i noticed he had freckles. oh god. oh fuck. oh my god hes fucking cute. oh my god better watch 30 hours of this game now

First video game you remember playing?

wayyy before i got my own gaming systems, my then-best friend had a gamecube in her attic. i was around 5 or 6 at the time. whenever i was over at her house and we didnt know what to do, she’d sometimes propose to play ‘’mario kart’’. important is that we are dutch, and i was a literal child. i thought mario KART meant it was a fucking card game, so i always declined whenever she asked. on one fateful day, i finally gave in and was pleasantly surprised it was in fact not a card game, but a viddy game. so we played mario kart double dash. (…i had never played a video game in my life besides browser flash games and was Very Very bad)

Age you started gaming?

so i played my first video game that i didnt own when i was about 5 or 6. then i got my first supply of games at age 7/8, but i dont really consider that time to be when i started ‘’gaming’’. i’d say that was when i started mario galaxy, so i’ve been playing video games for real (ie. story adventure games with boss battles) for about 6 years now.

Hardest video game you’ve played?

this is gonna sound stupid, but the witcher 3. there’s like 7 difficulties and i played on the EASIEST and still had a hard time, i just couldnt get used to the combat. i had the same problem with assassin’s creed syndicate, but after about 10 hours i actually knew what i was doing, and ive played the witcher longer than that and still am clueless. this is kind of an unpopular opinion but i dont particularly like that game

Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

i guess i am what you’d call a casual gamer; i really like video games but during a normal school week i only game for like 2-6 hours. most of the time i dont play for like 2 weeks if im busy. gaming has kind of taken over my life not because i play so much but because i get so emotionally invested lol i’m currently on summer break and even now im not playing a lot because of exhaustion and executive dysfunction. this derailed slightly but the game i’ve played the most despite my casual gamer status is …. … …. ffxv. surprise, right? the runner up is botw, but xv wins by a landslide. 630+ hours. botw is 350. my main save in ffxv is almost 200 hours i think. damn. i really managed to keep myself entertained with that game… (………i was thinking recently, since the loading screens in xv are so long, how much of this total amount was spent watching screens. i imagine it’s several hours, especially if you fast travel a lot.)

Most embarrassing gaming moment?

many moments in my gaming experience are embarrassing, but a more recent one: i was in xv’s postgame, beating some dungeons on my new save file. i had just finished daurell caverns and hadn’t saved in about 2 hours. (uh oh) i was driving around in the regalia type d and got to the big cliff near lestallum, and remembered someone made a gif of jumping in there so i wanted to try it too. i imagined the game would just put me back on the road, like it does when you crash into something. except it didnt. i got a game over. where was my last save? 2 hours back all the way in hammerhead. yippee.

Scariest video game you’ve played?

i never play horror games, cuz for me games are supposed to be relaxing experiences. no hate towards horror games of course, they just stress me out. the only time ive played horror is when friday the 13th was for free on ps+, and my friends really wanted to play it. (theyre kinda addicted to it now. huh) they had already gotten over the initial fear of having jason chase you, but i was still terrified. i can play the game without getting scared now tho. the horror sound effects just rly freaked me out at first jhsdkghsd

Most memorable gaming moment?

playing breath of the wild for the first time, or beating it for the first time. both experiences were filled to the brim with excitement and nostalgia. seeing botw as a blank slate, a world for you to explore, having no idea where you’re going… that was pretty incredible. now i know every nook and cranny of the map, so i wish i could play it for the first time again. i was so incredibly immersed. beating it was insane. i cried for 30 minutes and the end wasnt even sad, i was just so amazed at the fact that i was really here, playing breath of the wild, it was really real. the fucking main theme in the background (which i cannot for the life of me listen to without crying) didnt help with my emotions sgkdjh

Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

…………..its prompto again. maybe 2017 me …. was .. kind of a kinnie

PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

i dont care about console wars at all, but i think hardware-wise, pc is the best, because if you have a good pc you can basically do anything. i however do not, so i just play on consoles. ive never particularly liked xbox, so i only play ps4 and nintendo. not the switch though. its kinda petty, but my best friend and i really dont like the switch djghks

Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

none. i used to call myself a nintendo nerd (oh my god…. i m. gonna die) in like 2015 but since the switch came out and since i got a ps4 they kinda lost me. i still like their game series of course, but as a company i don’t care for them. the only reason i see square enix as one of ‘’my’’ gaming companies is because ffxv took up like 70% of my gaming experience, but besides final fantasy i don’t really love them too much either.

If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

atm i’m really into ffxiv because theres just so much to do, but that’s just a new, possibly temporary interest. if i had to choose, i’d say botw. maybe i’d say ffxv, but i feel like running around doing nothing in that game isnt very fun, because the world is sorta empty after completing every quest and getting to level 120. in botw, just fucking around on your horse is still really relaxing and nice. 

Do you use strategy guides?

yup. in certain games i try to avoid them but i usually end up stuck or in need of advice. i couldn’t have gotten so many p5 trophies if not for the internet lol

How often do you use cheats?

never, simply because the games i play often do not have cheats. unless im playing the sims and are in need of a motherlode, i dont use them.

Competitive or single player?

single player. im bad at video games and like to do stuff at my own pace. online multiplayer can be fun every now and then in games like mario kart 8 or splatoon, and i also like teamwork stuff like ffxiv or comrades. but ultimately, i prefer playing on my own.

Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

have never cosplayed, dont have plans to either, but it would be fun to cosplay link. omg. i just remembered i have that fucking chocomoogle shirt… sorry link im gonna slap on some sasuke hair, black jeans and ugly sneakers 

Ever go to a video game convention?

i have not, i have however gone to three (3) video game concerts which is basically the same thing. 

Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

the hardest bosses for me are usually the ones with a gimmick. you have to use a certain item or tactic to beat them or something. other hard fights for me are when you fight someone with a similar skill set. (in ffxv, this happens twice, once with the iggy-noct sparring match and once against ardyn. somehow, the final boss was easier than getting the prince to eat vegetables.) i don’t know an actual example of THE hardest boss fight ive been in though. at the time, the first bowser battle in mario galaxy was the hardest thing in the universe and i got stuck for like a month. currently, i’m having trouble with the riku-ansem fight in kh1. 

Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

the zelda cdi games? no, i dont really know. i dont hate a game so much that i’d want to forget about it altogether, but i dont exactly love ocarina of time that much. it hasnt aged well and playing it on the gamecube for the first time in 2015 wasnt a good idea. im sure it was revolutionary at the time, but i cant handle the outdated controls gsdgksjs 

Favorite gaming series?

see, i love ffxv itself more than the entirety of the zelda series, but i dont love ff as a SERIES more than the zelda games. so if were talking series, zelda for sure. i fucking love those games and they mean a lot to me. 

Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

i often skip them because i cant pay attention, but then find that i need them anyway. so i usually do skim through them. 

Best online gaming experience?

one really good one happened a few days ago in ffxiv, some guy and i exchanged emotes for like 30 minutes and it ended with us becoming friends on psn :’) ppl dont usually emote back at me in that game so this was really wholesome and nice gjshksdj 

Worst online gaming experience?

i dont really have a worst? theyre more annoying. think try harders in gta online killing you 15 times in a row because they want to show you how good they are or something. magically, online gaming hasnt been too hard on me (mainly because i dont game online that much)

Why do you game?

it brings me joy. it’s a fun way of relaxing, while being stimulated at the same time. games have meant a great deal to me the past 6 years and i wouldnt want to lose them for the world.

[the-desolated-quill]

Quill’s Swill - The Worst Of 2018

Congratulations dear reader. You survived 2018. And you know what that means. It’s time for another best of/worst of list. Welcome to Quill’s Swill 2018. A giant septic tank for the various shit the entertainment industry produced over the course of the year. The films, games, TV shows and various other media that got on my bad side. As always please bear in mind that this is only my subjective opinion (if you happen to like any of the things on this list, good for you. I’m glad someone did) and that obviously I haven’t seen everything 2018 has to offer for one reason or another. In other words, sorry that Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes Of Grindelwald isn’t on here. I’m sure it is as terrible as some have been suggesting. I just never got around to watching it.

Okay everyone. Grab your breathing masks and put on your rubber gloves. Let’s dive into this shit pile.

Hold The Sunset

The news that John Cleese would be returning to the world of BBC sitcoms was incredibly exciting, being a massive Fawlty Towers fan and all. Unfortunately Hold The Sunset was not quite what I had in mind. It’s one of those rare breed of situation comedies that chooses to offer no actual comedy. It’s not a sitcom. It’s a sit. Like Scrubs or The Big Bang Theory.

An elderly couple plan to elope abroad only for Alison Steadman’s son to barge in, having left his wife, and forcing them to put their plans on hold. Hence the title ‘Hold The Sunset.’ It’s like a cross between As Time Goes By and Sorry, but if all the humour and relatability were surgically removed by a deadpan mortician. The characters are weak, the plots are thin on the ground and the humour (hat little of it there is) feel incredibly dated. The middle aged mummy’s boy is something that hasn’t been funny since the 90s. It’s an utter waste of great talent and what hurts even more is that this tripe is actually getting a second series. I can only assume the people watching this are comatose. Either that or there’s an epidemic of people in Britain who have lost the remote.

Avengers: Infinity War

Yes this is one of the worst movies of 2018 and no I don’t regret saying that one little bit. Avengers: Infinity War was fucking terrible. Period. There were too many plots and characters going on, which made the film hard to follow (and what staggers me is that the so called ‘professional’ critics have condemned movies for having too many characters and plots before. Spider-Man 3, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Batman vs Superman: Dawn Of Justice and even Deadpool 2. But because this is an MCU movie, it gets a free pass. Fuck off). The characterisation was weak due to sheer number of characters they try to juggle, resulting in characters coming off as one dimensional caricatures of themselves and scenes where characters such as Iron Man, Doctor Strange and Star-Lord sound completely interchangeable. The villain, Thanos, is a stupidly and poorly written villain, but that’s hardly surprising considering what a shit job Marvel have done building him up over the course of these 20+ movies. And let’s not forget that pisstake ending. A bunch of prominent Marvel characters die and it’s all very, very sad... except all these characters just so happen to have sequels planned, which makes this ending fucking pointless and have less impact than a feather on a bouncy castle.

I don’t know which is more shocking. That Marvel and Disney think their audience are that stupid and gullible, or that their audience are actually validating their view. Fuck you Disney.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery

I’ve always wanted a Harry Potter RPG, where you could customise your character, choose your house and actually live a full school life at Hogwarts. This year, Warner Bros and Jam City gave us just that.

That was a mistake.

Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery is the epitome of everything that’s wrong with the mobile gaming market right now. The gameplay is boring and involving where you just tap images on a screen until a progress bar fills up. Wizard duels are little more than rock-paper-scissors challenges that require no kind of skill. Bonding with friends and caring for magical creatures just consist of pathetically simple pop quizzes and yet more boring tapping. Oh and of course you only get a certain amount of energy to complete these tedious tasks. If you run out of energy, you wait for it to fill up... or pay up for the privilege. So determined are they to extract your hard earned cash from your wallet, there’s actually a bit where Devil’s Snare strangles your eleven year old avatar and the game effectively tries to guilt trip you into paying micro-transactions to save them. It’s sleazy, gross and manipulative. Honestly, you’re better off just playing Candy Crush.

Agony

When the developers of this game said they wanted to give the player a trip through Hell, they had no idea how true that statement really was. Agony is dreadful on a number of levels. The design for Hell itself, while visually interesting at times, is often not very practical and gets quite dull and repetitive after a while. The stealth mechanics are a joke and the AI of your demonic enemies are pitiful. All of this alone would have been enough to put this game on the list, but then we also have the casual misogyny. Agony is a gorefest trying desperately to shock the player. We see men and woman get tortured, but it’s the women that often get the extreme end. The violence inflicted on them is often sexual in nature and the game seems to go out of its way to degrade and dehumanise women at every turn. The orgasmic cries of ‘pull it out’ quickly become a staple of the game’s experience as we see naked women raped, tortured and murdered, all for the purposes of ‘entertainment.’

I would call Agony sexist, but honestly that would be giving it too much credit. Agony is like a little child trying desperately to be all dark and edgy in a pathetic attempt to impress everyone around him, and we should treat it as such. Go to your room Agony. No ice cream for you.

Peter Rabbit

If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of Beatrix Potter rotating in her grave.

Yes we have yet another live action/CGI hybrid, but instead of something innocuous like the Smurfs or Alvin and the Chipmunks, Sony instead decides to adapt Peter Rabbit, with James Corden in the title role.

It’s about as bad as you’d expect.

Their attempts to modernise the story are painful to say the least with pop culture references, inappropriate adult humour and twerking rabbits. Plus rather than the gentle, but slightly mischievous character we got in the source material, here Peter is a sociopathic delinquent who seems to revel in making the farmer’s life a living hell. He’s unlikable and unwatchable as far as I’m concerned and the film doesn’t in anyway earn the emotional moments it tries so desperately to sell to the audience. And the worst part is it’s getting a sequel.

Wait. Do you hear that sound? That’s the sound of Beatrix Potter tearing out of the ground, ready to kill whatever idiot came up with this shit.

Fallout 76

I was excited for Fallout 76. A MMORPG where players band together to rebuild society after a nuclear apocalypse. Could have been great. Pity it wasn’t.

Fallout 76 is a dreadful game. Not only is it a buggy, glitchy mess that requires a constant online connection to play, which could result in you losing hours of progress if your WiFi went down, it’s also unbelievably tedious, and that’s because there’s nothing to do in the game. There’s no other characters to interact with, the various robots and computers you come across are really little more than quest givers, there’s no actual plot so to speak, and because of the sheer size of the world and the number of players allowed on a server, the chances of you actually meeting any actual players is remote. And let’s not forget all the behind the scenes drama. Bethesda falsely advertising Fallout themed canvas bags and players getting shitty nylon ones. Bethesda accidentally releasing the account information of various players trying to get a refund for said bag. Bethesda failing to program the year 2019 into the game code, meaning that the game’s nukes don’t work.

Maybe there’s a chance that Bethesda could pull a No Man’s Sky and fix everything over the coming years with various patches and DLCs, but the damage has already been done. It’s incredibly disappointing. The Elder Scrolls 6 is going to have be fucking incredible to win everyone back.

Mama Mia!: Here We Go Again

I can’t stand jukebox musicals anyway, but Mamma Mia was always one of the worst. Its boring, meandering story with its one note, obnoxious cast of characters screeching out ABBA songs like they’re at some drunken karaoke session at some poor sod’s hen party has always grated on my nerves. So imagine my delight when they announced we were getting a sequel. Ever wondered how Meryl Streep met her three lovers and founded her hotel? No? Well tough shit, we’re going to tell you anyway.

Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again is basically just Mamma Mia again. The actors still can’t sing, the characters are still annoying and story is still boring and meandering, completely at the mercy of the chosen songs rather than the filmmakers using the songs to compliment the story (you know? Like proper musicals do?).

How can I resist you? Very easily as it turns out. Gimme, gimme, gimme a fucking gun so I can end my misery.

The Cloverfield Paradox

A lot of people were unhappy about the direction Cloverfield was going. They wanted a continuation of the found footage, kaiju movie from 2008, not an anthology series. I was personally all in favour. Partially because I thought the first Cloverfield was a tad overrated, but mostly because I thought it would be a great opportunity for more experimental film projects and could be a great launchpad for new writers and filmmakers. 10 Cloverfield Lane was a great start. Then The Cloverfield Paradox happened.

The Cloverfield Paradox is basically JJ Abrams trying to have his cake and eat it too. Maintaining the anthology format whilst connecting everything together in a ‘shared universe’ (yes, yet another shared universe). The result was a cliched, poorly edited and idiotic mess of a film that actually took away from the previous two films rather than added to them. Everyone hated it and, as a result, 2018′s Overlord, which was totes going to be part of the Cloververse, was made its own standalone film and Abrams double pinky promised to make a true sequel to the original Cloverfield. A complete and total disaster. No wonder it was a straight-to-Netflix film.

The Handmaid’s Tale - Season 2

This is probably going to be the most controversial entry on the list, but please hear me out because I’m not the only one who has a problem with this season.

I was reluctant to watch The Handmaid’s Tale simply because of how gruesome the original book was, but I forced myself to watch the first season and I thought it was pretty good. It remained faithful to the source material for the most part and included some nice additions that helped to expand the story and mythos. If it was just a one off mini-series, everything would have been fine. But then they made the same mistake as The Man In The High Castle and Under The Dome did where they commissioned another season and attempted to tell a story that goes beyond the book.

There’s a reason why the original story ended where it did. The Handmaid’s Tale isn’t meant to be an empowering story about women sticking it to the patriarchy. It’s a cautionary tale about how fragile our civil rights truly are and how easily they can be taken away from us. It’s designed to shock, not to satisfy. So seeing a handmaid blow herself up in a suicide bombing feels very incongruous and just a little bit silly. It would be like doing a TV adaptation of George Orwell’s 1984 where the first season followed the source material and then the second season turned Winston Smith into this heroic freedom fighter trying to overthrow Big Brother. It would represent a fundamental misunderstanding of what the book was about in the first place.

And then of course there’s the increased level of violence in Season 2, which many have complained about. In Season 1 and the original source material, the violence was justified. In Season 2, the motivation behind the violence has gone from ‘how can we effectively demonstrate how easily a fascist patriarchy can happen in the West?’ to ‘what brutal act can we inflict upon Ofglen to shock the audience this week?’ It’s purely for shock and nothing more. And with the showrunner (who I feel I should mention is a man) announcing that he has planned ten seasons of this, it seems that The Handmaid’s Tale is going to go even further with this depravity until it effectively becomes the equivalent of a Saw film.

The Handmaid’s Tale exists as a way of shining light on and critiquing misogyny in its most extreme form. Season 2 however demonstrates that there is a serious risk of it becoming the very thing it’s criticising in the first place.

The Predator

I love the Predator franchise, but The Predator is the worst.

People thought that this would be good because director Shane Black had actually starred in the first Predator movie back in 1987. Instead we got this bloated, confusing, obnoxious and insulting mess of a film that seems to go out of its way to ruin everything that makes Predator so good. There’s no tension. No suspense. No intrigue. Just a bunch of gore, explosions and shitty one liners from annoying and lifeless characters. They essentially took this big alien game hunter from outer space and turned him into a generic monster from a bad summer blockbuster. It no longer hunts for sport. It wants to take over the world and splice our DNA with theirs. But don’t worry, a rogue Predator doesn’t want to kill humans (even though he himself kills a bunch of humans), so he gives us a Predator Iron Man suit to set up a sequel that will probably never happen because this movie was a box office bomb and it fucking SUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKEEEEEDDDD!!!

This film also has a very nasty streak towards those with disabilities. There’s a lot of jokes at the expense of a character with Tourette’s and it has an extremely ignorant and patronising view of autism, portraying the main character’s kid as being a super genius who can decipher the Predator language and even going so far as to say that he represents ‘the next stage of human evolution.’ Presumably the Predators want social communication difficulties because apparently it helps them hunt somehow.

What with Disney acquiring 20th Century Fox, the future of both the Alien and Predator franchises were very much in question. This film needed to be a success in order to make a case for Disney to keep making more of them. It wasn’t. Congratulations Shane Black. You might have just killed off this franchise for good. Thanks arsehole! :D

So those were my least favourite stories from 2018. Join me on Wednesday where we shall discuss something more positive. Yes, it’s awards season. Who shall win the coveted Quill Seal Of Approval? Watch this space...

Or don’t. It’s up to you. I don’t want to force you or anything. It’s a free country.