#And I feel sick because when I look at this situation I realize how wrong I’ve been my whole life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cursingtoji · 7 months

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𓆩𖥟𓆪 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐑 — Geto is a thoughtful leader who uses visual resources to help his followers learn, and tonight you get to play a part. #Cult-tober.

< Part 1 - Contradiction

— cw: religious imagery but no specific religion, exhibitionism, emotional manipulation, god complex, public nudity, fingering, unprotected, oral (f -> m), sex cult behaviour. 3k words.

— note: did my research on cults for this one, also based on this request.

“Come here” you hear his voice after calling your name, the tone gives you chills.

You know better than to fear him, this is not the first time he calls you to the main room of the temple — a place that has become the closest thing you can call a home now. This room in particular is already very known to you, so why the fear? Can’t you remember the familiar feeling of the tatami under your knees? What about against your cheek? Wasn’t worth the pain of having your face rubbing on it while your master roughly thrusted into your behind? You do recall his pitiful smile when he realized what the mat had done to the soft skin of your face, right? He kissed it so tenderly while holding you like you were made of glass, a glass he didn’t mind breaking a few minutes prior to that, but now, glass.

So what’s wrong now?

Except for the dozens of followers sitting on their knees in that same room right now. How come you never saw that many people before? And more importantly, why are you seeing them now?

A few hours ago, he left you two things along with a note with the time and place you had to be. Those things are: a sheer black lace mask, very delicate fabric meant for your eyes, the type of thing you could picture a woman using in a ball in the 1800s, and a yukata, a simple one. You thought it was weird he didn’t leave an obi — the belt to tie up the yukata, so you took one from your own drawer to complete the traditional piece.

The mask is clearly not part of it, but you know better than to question him. Besides, the note is clear, you must wear nothing but those things. Nothing.

The room you thought you knew now seems strange and gloomy, it’s nighttime so there’s only a few candles lightening it up, there’s an essence burning somewhere the smell is weak but it’s there.

Geto in all his glory sits in his altar, his feet are up in the mat, unlike everyone else sitting on their legs. He has the pose of a deity and clearly that is what everyone thinks too.

Your bare feet touch the tatami, slowly approaching the altar and feeling the dozen pairs of eyes upon you, the offsetting lighting doesn't allow you to see their faces, which is probably for the best, yet Geto’s was lit up as if the sun itself rose for him and him only.

“Look at her, when I met her she was sick, this beautiful lady had a disease. I tried to look away, she was too far gone, but what did I do instead, sweet child?”

“You saved my life” you respond without batting an eye, your mind feels cloudy.

“Kneel” you obey taking place beside him.

Maybe he is a deity after all.

Just that day you were having a conversation with the twins. They had so many questions, especially after seeing you hurt by some curse, so many why’s leaving their little mouths.

“It doesn’t matter!” your voice rose for the first time since taking them in your embrace “If Geto-sama says it’s day and the sky is dark, it’s day. If he says it’s night when you can see the sun, you go to bed because you sleep when it’s night, understood?”

Sometimes you barely recognize the voice that leaves your lips. Scolding is something you never saw yourself doing, not to the girls you loved more than anything.

In your situation one would assume this behavior is driven by fear, what would Geto do if he found out your girls were questioning his actions? They cannot possibly care more about this non-sorcerer in front of them. Never.

But those people would be wrong. Fear does make you do what you do. Love does.

Only love makes you stay put in front of him when he unties your yukata, love has you looking him in the eye even while the disapproval for the presence of the obi is evident.

Geto makes you sit facing him, his stunning image much more welcoming than the unlighted audience, he’s big enough for you to understand can still see the quiet crowd behind you. His calloused hands touch your shoulders under the yukata, the soft touch is enough to warm up your entire body as he slowly revells a skin decorated by some few bruises, some caused by curses, some caused by gods, well… one god.

“She’s still not cured, I don’t know if she’ll ever be” he doesn’t have to project his voice too much in the quiet room, the hot breathing fans over your face, “But I’ll keep trying nevertheless” he says more quietly.

Geto’s hand goes between your legs and you have trouble keeping your sounds to yourself. His hand is big, and the space between your closed legs — while you’re still sitting on them — and your core is narrow, Geto has to be a little rough to get where he wants to.

And he always gets what he wants.

Your face is warm, breathing erratically but still… you’re not panicking even given the disturbing setting. It’s all due to him, if it was anyone else you would be screaming right now, fighting your way out of this.

Geto starts to stroke your folds with his fingers while talking about sins, the best thing you can do is shut your little brain from overthinking everything he says and taking it as personal.

However, what is left to do when he keeps going on and on about undeserving ones while teasing your fluttering hole? You can’t even look him in the eye, just keep staring his throat as he speaks. Your gasp interrupts him when he inserts a finger, both your hands to your mouth, you were distracted enough to forget this was obviously the next step.

Geto snaps his eyes back to you, not glad about the interruption, yet he resumes his speech so he can go on with his plans.

Your hands remain on your closed mouth, not wanting to make the same mistake again. Geto adds another finger and starts scissoring you, which worries you slightly, you thought this was merely a play for the followers, an exhibition of power, but the stretching he’s doing indicates he plans to go all the way. That and the erection under his haori, which you should’ve led you to suspect his intentions from the beginning since he’s never presented himself to his followers without all the layers of his traditional clothing.

Geto removes his fingers, straightening his posture as he finishes his sentence, he pats his lap and you find his eyes, they are predatory, from then on you’re dealing with Geto-sama, not Suguru.

You’re already undoing the ropes that tie his haori just like he did to you a few minutes ago. He’s bare under the fabric, dick is tall and hard, the leaking tip shines under the orange glow of the candlelight as you align it with your entrance.

“If you can’t control your urges, they’ll control you” he claims, hands behind your knees, his voice is steady but the grip he has on you tells it’s hard to control himself too.

“No person or thing should control you… except for me” the last part is whispered for your ears only. You bottom out on him, needing a moment to recover, not just from the stretch on your lower half but from his words and by how willing you are to let him control you.

Especially when he puts his hand on your head, pressuring slightly guiding you to his neck. He keeps his hand there, caressing your hair as you relax on his hold, like he’s comforting someone who's just lost a dear relative, not a simple villager he spared and is now balls deep inside dozens of followers.

With a sharp pinch on your thigh Geto signs you to start moving, you arch your back and raise your hips to slide out of his cock till only the tip is left then sitting back. Since the yukata was not fully removed, it stays on you, sleeves pooling on the middle of your arms, the rest serves as a curtain, keeping the audience from viewing the junction of you and your savior.

You busy your mouth by kissing and sucking his neck, he gives your hair a discreet pull, a warning to not mark him, guess it would be bad for his reputation if his beloved sorcerers find out he’s whipped by a good-for-nothing human.

All they know — as far as Geto is concerned —, is that you’re his little pet, kind of a 3 for the price of 2 after he took in the twins, a package deal he simply had to accept.

Whatever, you don’t care about them anyways. As long as they’re treating your girls as one of their own, it doesn’t matter how they treat you. Geto, Mimiko and Nanako are all you need to be content with your life.

Geto should limit himself from touching you, his fingers shouldn’t be tracing the little marks and scratches on your back.

“You are not perfect, mistakes will happen, that’s why you need someone to guide you” he talks to the audience, his chin resting on your shoulders as the tip of his fingers run over each trauma and imperfections on your back. At this point — with his dick reaching such a sweet spot inside your walls —, you are not sure if he’s still indirectly talking to you, but something makes you think he’s talking to himself, about you.

Is it such a delusional thought? That you are the one guiding him and not the other way around? You thighs clench around him, the awkward feeling in your chest start to bring clarity to your pleasure blurred mind and you start to look around reflecting on your situation.

Geto relizes something switched in your dumb little head, you do that sometimes, look around with wide eyes and heavy breathing. Suguru remembers the days in jujutsu tech, when he was confused, consumed by the trauma and unsure about his future. Why did you make him remember that? Your chest is rising rapidly, he doesn’t want you to panic, that’s not supposed to happen under his watch.

You’re taken from his lap.

“You love me, don’t you?” Suguru holds your chin bringing your focus to him, only him. You nod slowly, admiring his sculpted face by the candlelight, “Then what are you afraid of?”

You search your mind for all the reasons to be afraid right now, shouldn’t be hard, all you need is to look around and remember why you’re here.

Yet his hazel eyes don’t allow you to find any of those reasons, somehow your heart doesn’t feel so heavy anymore.

“Don’t you trust me?” he rubs your chin and you nod again, “Show me” you blink confusingly, “Show me how much you love me.”

You’re sitting on your knees as your eyes trail down where his member is still hard, it glistens with your juices and throbs slightly, the sight is too irresistible.

So you bow to your savior, taking him fully into your mouth, the position giving the closest thing to a privacy moment, where you could pretend it’s just you and Suguru like in the late nights in his chamber.

“There you go” he sighs happily patting your head, not putting any pressure, like what you’re doing is not sexual at all.

It’s merely a form of adoration. And Geto deserves being adored.

Naturally, you take him as deep as you possibly can, focusing your best in worshiping every inch of his skin, putting as much love into it as you can, not even minding the emptiness on your lower half or how you’re dripping on the mat.

There’s a buzz in your ear, you know Geto is talking, finishing his speech probably, but you can’t actually hear him, feels like hearing someone talking from a distance.

The last thing you remember is the hot shot on the back of your throat and the member twitching in your mouth. You think you heard Geto moan, which brings a weird feeling in your stomach since, as far as you know, you’re supposed to be the only one to hear that. His thumb goes to your chin, whipping the saliva and cum, pushing you to release him, you do, but you keep kissing his soft length until the smell of him mixed with the candles and something only this room had made you black out.

Phenomenal.

A word that resumes what Geto thinks about your performance tonight. If he gave you a script it wouldn’t have played out so perfectly.

Sometimes Geto underestimates how willing you are to be controlled by him.

When everything is done, he takes you into his arms, after wrapping the Yukata back around your body, he raises to his feet and steps down from his small stage carrying you.

There’s a door behind the stage, passing the curtains, which he usually uses as entrance and exit. Yet that night he feels like walking through the audience, with a pretty little thing unconscious on his mighty arms and a bunch of loyal followers bowing on his feet he experiences being, truly, a god.

#— cult-tober #geto x reader #geto x female reader #geto suguru #suguru x y/n #cult leader!geto #geto smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #geto x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut

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lecsainz · 6 months

Note

Hii can you maybe write one about max falling in love with you but hes with kelly (maybe smut👀) not trying to be weird i swear😔

FOOLISH

parings: max verstappen + ricciardo!reader | charles leclerc + ricciardo!reader

summary: where max has feelings for you but he's with kelly, and when he finally acts on it, it's already too late.

an: I switched up your request a bit, but I can do another if you'd like. not writing smut at the moment because I've got a creative block for it, hope y'all understand.

type: angst ✶

masterlist

Max couldn't remember when he had fallen in love with you. He just knew it was wrong. After all, he had been with Kelly for years, and it was all kinds of wrong to constantly have someone else on his mind. But God, he couldn't tear his eyes away from you.

He had always been fond of Daniel's younger sister, but he couldn't decide whether to thank or curse the day when Daniel had come to him, grinning from ear to ear, to reveal that you would be the nutritionist for his team during the season. This meant that Max would see you every day, but in a different garage, with a different team, and, most painfully, with other drivers – the very thought made him sick to his stomach.

As the season went on, Max found himself craving every fleeting moment he could spend around you. He had a feeling it was inevitable, that his heart was already too far gone. But he couldn't bring himself to act on his feelings; he had his commitment to Kelly, and he was not the kind of man to betray his girlfriend, no matter how deep his feelings ran.

One evening, Max found himself wandering the paddock aimlessly, lost in thought about the impossible situation he had found himself in. He didn't realize he had ended up in the same lounge area as you until you looked up and gave him a warm smile.

"Max, right?" you said, and the sound of your voice sent shivers down his spine.

Max nodded, trying to hide his internal turmoil behind a smile. "Yeah, that's me. Y/N, isn't it?"

You nodded, and a friendly conversation began. Over time, Max couldn't help but be drawn to you, to the way you listened intently and laughed genuinely. It was so different from the way he felt around Kelly, with whom he had been together for a long time, but things had grown stagnant over the years.

Days turned into weeks, and Max's feelings for you only grew stronger. He couldn't control the way his heart skipped a beat when he saw your name pop up on his phone, or the rush of excitement when he knew he'd be able to chat with you between practices. The guilt gnawed at him, but he couldn't help but cherish those stolen moments.

As the season reached its midpoint, Max found himself confiding in Daniel, sharing his inner turmoil and revealing the truth about his feelings for you. The elder Ricciardo listened, offering support and advice, but ultimately respecting Max's decisions.

"I get it, mate," Daniel said, clapping Max on the back. "It's a messy situation, but you've got to figure out what's best for you."

Max nodded, his heart heavy with the weight of his feelings and the knowledge that he couldn't act on them.

One day, as the season drew closer to the end, Max sat in the quiet of his hotel room, looking at a photo of you on his phone. He couldn't help but smile as he remembered a particularly amusing conversation the two of you had shared earlier in the day. But the smile quickly faded as he thought about the reality of his situation.

He had a loving, committed girlfriend in Kelly, and he couldn't simply throw that away for something that might never be. It wasn't fair to her, and it wasn't fair to himself either. Max knew he had to make a decision, even if it tore him apart.

Max decided to take a walk to clear his head, wandering the quiet streets of the city where the race was taking place. He replayed his conversations with you in his mind and thought about the love he had for Kelly. It was a painful and agonizing decision, but he knew what he had to do.

Later that night, Max sat down with Kelly in their hotel room. The conversation was filled with tears and broken hearts, but he knew he had to be honest with her. He explained his feelings for you and the unbearable guilt he felt for allowing those feelings to grow.

Kelly was devastated, but she understood. She had felt the distance between them and knew that something was amiss. They both agreed that it was best to end their relationship, even though it was painful for both of them.

Max knew that he couldn't immediately pursue a relationship with you, and he wasn't even sure if you felt the same way about him. But he needed to be honest with himself and find his own path, even if it meant enduring a period of heartache.

In the aftermath of his breakup with Kelly, Max decided to give himself some time to heal and find his own path. He knew he couldn't immediately pursue a relationship with you, and he wasn't sure if you felt the same way about him. But he also knew that he couldn't keep his feelings buried forever.

As the days turned into weeks, Max focused on his career, throwing himself into his racing with even more determination. The tracks became his sanctuary, the roar of the engines helping to drown out the ache in his heart.

However, the memory of you still lingered in his thoughts, refusing to fade. The way your eyes lit up when you talked about your passion for motorsports, your laughter, and the warmth in your voice—all of it was etched into his memory.

One day, during a race weekend in a picturesque European city, Max decided that he couldn't keep his feelings bottled up any longer. He needed to tell you how he felt. The only question was how and when.

That night, he gathered the courage to call you. Your voice was as welcoming as ever, and as the conversation flowed, Max felt his heart pounding in his chest. He had intended to tell you his feelings, to admit the truth about his emotions, but he couldn't bring himself to say the words.

"Y/N," he began, hesitating as he sought the right words. "I've been thinking a lot lately. About us."

There was a pause on the other end of the line, and Max could hear the curiosity in your voice. "What about us, Max?"

He took a deep breath and finally said, "I think there's something I need to tell you. Something I should have said a long time ago."

Just as he was about to confess his feelings, you interrupted. "Max, there's something I need to tell you too."

Max's heart sank, but he couldn't stop now. He had to be honest. "Okay, you first."

There was a heavy sigh on your end, and you spoke slowly. "I'm with Charles now, Max. We've been dating for a while, and things have gotten quite serious between us."

Max's world seemed to crumble around him as he processed your words. It was a bitter twist of fate. He had waited too long to confess his feelings, and now you had moved on with someone else. He tried to hide the pain in his voice as he responded, "I see. I'm happy for you, Y/N. Charles is a great guy."

You thanked him for his understanding, but Max couldn't bring himself to say anything more. The conversation felt like a blur, and he hung up the phone, feeling a sense of loss he hadn't anticipated.

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darklordofthesimp · 9 months

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Clement (John Price x Reader)

Can be read as a standalone. Part 1 here.

Summary: John continuously ends up in your medical bay but now it’s his turn to take care of you.

A/N: These two are my fluffy couple and even that I can’t manage

Category: Mutual Pining || Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Graphic Language || Anxiety || Themes of PTSD

“Don’t take this the wrong way, John. But, I really don’t like how much I’ve been seeing you.”

Captain John Price raised a brow, groaning as he situated himself in his usual seat. The man was soaked in blood, a sight that you’d begrudgingly gotten used to but still hated. He had no right to take offence, he was in your office every other week with varying injuries. The way you saw it, he was in that office more than you were.

“Kinda hard not to take that the wrong way, darlin’.” He chortled as he readjusted his bad arm, the noise just as pained as it was amused.

“Saint,” you corrected.

“Saint,” Price rolled his eyes.

You sat down in front of him, a huff pulling from your chest as you took him in. There was a long moment as you both stared at each other, silent and almost comical.

“I’m sick of your shit, Captain.” You gave him a deadpan glare.

John scoffed, “oh, don’t be like that.”

“No, seriously ” you threw your hands up, “You owe me a drink.”

Price’s eyes widened in disbelief but you ignored him as you slowly dabbed antiseptic across his wounds. You could feel the muscles beneath your fingers tense as he fought to find the words.

“I’ve been asking you to let me buy you a drink for weeks!” John hissed, his eyes flitting cautiously to the doorway as a nurse walked past. He didn’t want to compromise your professional reputation, no matter how much you drove him crazy.

You only raised your nose at him, “well, that’s because I don’t mix business and pleasure.”

“And now is the exception?”

“No, now is the payment for putting up with you and your accident-prone kids’ fuckery.”

Price laughed, it was full-bodied and warm and something that you could listen to forever. Your hands faltered in their work. Usually, you were steadfast- but John Price always had you on the edge of your seat with a pounding heart and a fuzzy mind.

“Well, then.” The Captain conceded, relaxing a little more into his chair. “I’d better make it a damn good drink.”

You hummed your agreement, leaning in closer to get a better look at the wounds on his neck.

“A damned nice place too,” you said distractedly, “no grubby bars for this one.”

How did he even manage shit like this? You were so in awe of the strangeness of his injuries, that you hadn’t realized the effect your proximity had on the good Captain. Your words whispered across the skin of his neck and jaw like a gentle caress. The knowledge that he could kiss you right now simply by tilting his head down a little, it drove him insane.

“Of course not,” he rasped, “I’d take you somewhere fancy. One of them nice cocktail bars, maybe.”

You smiled as you tended to him, your gaze glued to where your hands worked their magic. You couldn’t have seen the way his eyes flickered from your brows to your lashes, and then to your lips. You wouldn’t have noticed the way he clenched his jaw and prayed to anybody who was listening that you weren’t talking shit.

“I’d love that,” you murmured, pulling your touch from his skin to reach for the wound dressings. He craved the warmth immediately. “You’d be in a suit and all.”

Price chuckled, partly at what you’d said and partly by how distractedly you spoke.

“Is this all part of your master plan to see me dressed up?” The Captain said jokingly. His heart stopped when you finally flicked your gaze up to his.

It was at that moment that you realized just how close you sat to him, your mouth going dry at the proximity. You could smell him so clearly as if all your senses had suddenly kicked into overdrive. John always smelt like pine and tobacco. You wondered if it was just his body spray mixed with those damned cigars, but part of you knew it had to be some pheromone that drove you crazy.

“Funny,” you regained your bearings, leaning back in your seat to observe him. “I was going to accuse you of the same thing.”

Those ocean-hued eyes sparkled with mirth, roving over your features as if he were committing them to memory. John had a way of seeing beneath all the armour you wore, but somehow it never left you with the sense that you were defenseless. He always made you feel seen but safe. He was comforting.

“Won’t lie to you, love. I’d give anything to see you all dressed up,” John said honestly, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

You raised a brow challengingly but the Captain only watched you, as comfortable as ever and confident in his words. After a long moment of silence, you finally spoke.

“A lot of these boys would,” you rolled your eyes. “Not exactly invoking confidence here.”

John straightened in his seat a little.

“Well that’s the problem, innit?” He said, shooting you a meaningful look. “They’re boys, not men.”

You opened your mouth to respond, maybe with something smart or clever or anything really that would throw the good Captain off kilter. Instead, you were interrupted by a woman leaning in through your doorway. It was the new nurse that had transferred from another unit only a few days ago.

“Saint?” She said softly, eyes flicking between John and yourself. “Just wanted to pop in and let you know that this is the last patient on your roster.”

You smiled, trying to ignore the way that her hand sat precariously on your door handle. The stomach-churning realization that she didn’t know the protocol for your office was making it difficult for you to speak.

“Awesome, thanks Angie.” You choked out.

As you opened your mouth to remind her to leave the door open, the woman skittered away as fast as she’d appeared. You watched as the door swung shut, anxiety roiling in the pits of your gut. The sound of it clicking closed felt like the final nail in the coffin.

You took in a deep, calming breath. “Lovely.”

Price stood up from his seat instantly, resting a hand against your shoulder as he moved to pass you. “Easy love, I got it. You just focus on getting me back into fighting order, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you rasped, your fingers shaking as you slowly reached for your stitching kit. The sound of John’s footsteps behind you felt like a hammer in your chest and you tried to fight the urge to swing around and watch him.

You trusted John. You knew he wouldn’t hurt you and you knew this was just a reaction from your prior experiences. A closed door and a turned back had been a recipe for disaster last time, but this time you were with the good Captain- you were with John.

There was a long silence from behind you as the door rattled and you tried to ignore the sound, focusing on attempting to thread the string through the eye of the needle. Your hands were trembling far too much for it to be anything but a joke.

“Saint.” John said from across the room.

Not love, not darlin’, not even Doc.

Just Saint.

You held your breath, swivelling slowly on your stool to face the man behind you. Price stood by the closed door, his expression carefully blank. He had a palm resting on the handle.

“I need you to take a breath,” he began. “Don’t panic.”

Too late.

You said nothing, painfully aware of how dry your throat suddenly felt. Each breath felt like your skin scraped against sandpaper, and with every beat of your heart, it felt like it was only going faster.

John rattled his hand against the door and to your horror, it didn’t budge.

“Saint,” he raised his other hand with his palm facing outward, an attempt to placate you. It was well and truly too late for small acts of comfort, it was well beyond that point.

How could they have accidentally locked the door?

You stumbled off your seat, reminding yourself of the breathing techniques that you had taught both Birdy and Ghost. How could you help them when you couldn’t even help yourself?

You were a fraud.

“That’s fine,” you said, sounding anything but fine. “This is fine, we just need to call the nurses on the outside.”

“Saint.”

You reached clumsily for your table, the tools and bottles tipped overboard to bounce against the vinyl flooring. You swore beneath your breath, painfully aware of how hot it had suddenly become. Sweat trickled down the length of your spine, prompting your anxiety to run with it.

You had forgotten what you were even looking for.

“Saint.”

You needed to get out of there. You needed to get that door open. You couldn’t be in there, couldn’t be left to the mercy of another soldier. Your heart thrashed wildly in your chest, your ribs aching as they tried to contain it.

“Saint!”

The door was closed and there was a man in the room with you. If you showed weakness it would only encourage him to attack, you needed to maintain the facade. You needed to be strong. Your fingers found the scalpel handle on your table. You wouldn’t let it happen again.

“Saint!”

You shot up straight, whirling around on the soldier now standing behind you. The instinct to protect yourself overcame any situational awareness that you had, you weren’t going to go through it again. The blade in your hand came down hard, aiming straight for his chest.

Price caught your wrist instantly, ocean gaze baring deep into yours.

A desperate noise, something akin to a sob fell from your lips.

“You’re alright, darlin’,” John rasped, sparing a quick glance at the weapon in your hand. “Gonna need you to take a breath with me, yeah?”

You were sweating but cold, shaking but frozen, all at the same time.

You were a mess.

A fraud.

“Saint,” the Captain ducked his head to meet your dropping gaze, “look at me.”

His fingers came to rest softly against your chin, tipping you up to meet his eyes miserably. You sniffled, tears running rampant down the length of your face and neck. You wanted to sob, you wanted to tear yourself from his grip and beat against the door.

You weren’t sure whether you were too scared to move or too safe.

“You’re safe. I’m not gonna let anyone lay a fuckin’ finger on you,” John reassured, genuine and firm in the statement. He wasn’t fucking around, he wasn’t spitting pretty words just to break them.

John Price was right about one thing, there was a difference between boys and men.

And there was no way to confuse which one he was.

“Yeah,” you rasped. It was dry and crackled but it was a sign that you still had some control over yourself. It was a sign that you weren’t going to snap.

“Yeah?” The Captain smiled. The sight of it put you at ease. The sound of his chuckle comforted you.

“Yeah.” You reaffirmed, nodding your head this time.

You were okay and you were safe and it was just a fucking door.

“Good,” John said, eyes sparkling with mirth. He flicked his eyes upward at where he still held your wrist. “You reckon you could drop your machete then? Fearin’ for my life.”

You jolted at the realization that you were still holding the scalpel, the blade still pointed directly at the man before you. Your knuckles had gone white from how hard you’d been gripping it.

You sucked in a deep breath, dropping it as if it had burnt you. Price hummed consolingly as you stared up at him with wide and teary eyes.

“Im sorry-“

“Don’t.” John warned gently, releasing your wrist. “Don’t apologize for defendin’ yourself.”

You closed your mouth and offered him a shaky nod. You needed him closer, you needed comfort and for once that didn’t involve you craving isolation. Usually, you wanted nothing to do with people when you were like this. Now, your fingers itched to touch him.

The Captain rocked back on his heels a little, observing you from beneath his lashes.

“You alright?” He asked. His hands moved to touch your elbow but he paused halfway, as if he thought better of it. You watched as they dropped, wishing that he’d just done it.

“Could be better,” you said honestly. “Could use a drink.”

Price laughed, short and sharp. His fingers flexed.

There was a long silence as you both took each other in. You wanted to say something, literally anything. You could slip in one of your dry jokes or maybe ask him to sit back down as you searched for your phone.

Instead, you found yourself watching him, enjoying the visage of the Captain behind the lense of a new perspective.

And he was watching you right back.

His hands moved again, this time slow and with intent. John was giving you the option to move away, giving you the time to reject his touch. Some part of you tried to remind you that you should be afraid, that you were alone in a room all over again. But there was no reason to be afraid of this man, he was not some broken soldier- he was the master of his own ship. He was the Captain.

He was John Price.

When his fingers came to rest on your arms, goosebumps rose across the places that his warmth trailed.

“Let me take you out,” he whispered, so close you could taste the words. “Let me get you a drink, Saint.”

Again, the intentional use of your call sign. The name that you had given him but he’d refused to use up until today.

“John-“ you hesitated, shifting where you stood.

You wanted nothing more. However, your thoughts had a way of running away from you, taking your fears and experiences and sprinting from where you stood. You knew he was a good man, but at the end of the day military men had a stigma for good reason.

What if he would fuck you over in the end?

What if he didn’t come home?

“I know what you’re thinking,” John spoke, stepping closer. “I know where that brilliant fuckin’ mind of yours is going and I want to stop you right there.”

You snorted softly. “You don’t know what I’m thinking, Captain.”

His palms settled against your biceps, fingers enclosing around your skin. You could feel his thumbs rub into your arms, as though he was grounding himself as he spoke.

“I do. You’re thinkin’ about me doing wrong by you. You’re thinking I’m full of hot air and pretty words and all that shit.” John rattled off, shaking his head as he spoke. “You’re thinking ‘bout what happens if one day I don’t make it.”

Your breath caught in your throat.

“Well,” his eyes bore into yours with an intensity that you’d never seen. “I’m not here to play games. What you see is what you get and if I have you to come home to, I promise not even God could take me.”

John’s breath was shaky at best as he scanned your features. It was nerve wracking to put yourself out there but it spun you out trying to process what he’d just said. Everything in you wanted to kiss him the second he’d finished his sentence.

You swayed on your feet, mouth opening and closing as you tried to muster a response. Your heart beat against your chest, trying to escape its prison and run right into John’s grasp.

“Okay.” You said.

You wanted to die. The man had said the most romantic thing you’d heard since you’d binge watched Bridgerton, and all you had was one word. The most unenthusiastic word, mind you.

But, in true John Price spirit, the man only laughed. Full bodied and victorious.

“Okay?” He sought confirmation with the biggest smile you’d seen from him in months.

“Okay.”

You wanted nothing more than him.

#john price x reader #john price #captain john price #john price cod #john price mw2 #COD MW2 #cod x reader #cod #call of duty x reader #captain price #Call Of Duty MW2

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beetlejuicyy · 6 months

Text

Losing touch | Bada Lee x reader

Bebe Gang AU

Part one • Part two

Pairing: gang member! Bada x reader

Synopsys: Picking up your girlfriend from the police station does not seem like a good date idea for you. Especially if she refuses to talk about the very things that got her in trouble with the police.

Warnings: angst, very much angst, fighting, toxic relationship, gaslighting, swearing

Note: thank you all for the support you showed for Bruises ! This is going to be a two part work so I hope you look forward for the secont part as well. As for this one, I got a bit carried away and it ended up more toxic than I planned. The next one might have less plot and more kinky smut. I'm also open to requests too so if you have anything in mind that I could write I'd love to see it!!

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

You were still in bed enjoying your coffee when your phone started ringing. You were expecting a package to arrive and were excited to see the unknown number, thinking it was related to the delivery details.

“Miss y/n?” The stern voice of a woman greeted you. You shook off the feeling that something was wrong. “This is the police station. You’ll be redirected to the caller.” Your blood froze in your veins as you heard a muffled sound through the phone.

“Y/n…”

“Bada? Is that you?” You sat up immediately, still hoping this was some kind of misunderstanding, a wrong number. Your girlfriend sighed.

“I need you to come pick me up.” She seemed incredibly calm, as if she had been through this before.

“You’ve been arrested?” You were still trying to comprehend the situation at nine thirty in the morning.

“I was framed... They are letting me go but the lawyer said it’s better for my image to have someone with a clean criminal record get me out.”

“I’m coming.”

You got dressed and left the house in a hurry, unable to think straight. Only after you got in the car and typed in the address your girlfriend gave you things started to clear out inside your mind. The police station was on the opposite side of the city, far from where both of you lived. What was she even doing there? When was she arrested? You remembered going to sleep early the previous night and her sending you a goodnight text around ten.

You turned on the engine. You hadn’t eaten a thing yet and your stomach was noisy about it. Wondering when was the last time Bada ate something, you stopped at a bakery on your way to get something for the both of you. Only when you stopped the car and got out in the police station parking lot you realized you had no idea how these things were supposed to work. All you knew was that you were worried sick.

You noticed there was a young man around your age in uniform at the front desk right by the entrance and gave him the name of your girlfriend.

“Please fill in this form.” He said as he printed some papers. While you filled in the information he called to let his colleagues know about your arrival. You finished the formalities and checked the paperwork once again to make sure you didn’t miss anything. That’s when your eyes fell on a line already completed. Drug possession. Your eyes widened in an expression impossible to conceal. The guy at the desk might have noticed it because he continued to talk to you. “What could a girl like you have to do with Bada Lee?” He hummed as he checked your papers.

“We’re… friends.” You hesitated. You didn’t feel like owing a stranger any explanation. On the contrary, you were owed some.

“She’s not a very good influence, y’know.”

“It’s written there that the charges were dropped.” As much as you felt angry at your girlfriend you couldn’t accept anyone badmouthing her. Which was ironic because Bada was indeed a bad influence.

“This time, sure.” The man agreed. “But others were not.”

You didn’t want to show how little you actually knew about your girlfriend, especially in front of the cops. However, you really wanted to know. You’ve never pestered her with questions. You always tried to be the cool girlfriend, the fun and easygoing one that she would love. But it was getting harder and harder to ignore the obvious things, like the fact that she would get into fights, cancel plans or leave in the middle of your date because of a phone call. You always tried to think it was the same as dating a workaholic, like someone with a corporate job and a very bad sense of work ethic. But today in the car you realized you’ve been fooling yourself all this time. Her file was there in one of those shelves you were sure. You wanted to read it so bad. Know all the things she did and she wasn’t telling you.

“If you ever realize the kind of person she is you can always give us a call.” The guy said, giving you something that looked like a business card. Your eyes scanned it and picked it up , trying not to seem rude. It was filled with his personal information.

“Miss y/n?” Another voice called to you from behind, this time a woman. “Miss Lee is waiting for you but first I need to make sure everything is alright.” Her voice was softer and nicer than the guy at the front desk, even though she was his senior. And most importantly, she wasn’t trying to flirt with you.

You saw Bada behind her, sitting on a bench, waiting patiently. She was wearing the same shirt she had on when she send you the goodnight selfie before you went to sleep. You guessed she had spent the night at the police station. Her hair wrapped in a messy low bun. Her long legs spread out, elbows supporting her upper body as she was leaning forward, hands covering her face. She was tired. Your eyes softened as you looked at her, although you were still upset. When the lady said you were free to go you hurried to your girlfriend.

She looked up before you got close to her, her eyes puffy. You weren’t sure if the look in her eyes was simply fatigue or if she was really trying to figure out what you were thinking. She stood up hands in her pants’ pockets. There was something cold about her that you couldn’t quite explain.

“You ok?” You asked. You wanted to hug her tight but you didn’t want to make a scene in the police station.

“I’m good. Thanks for coming.” She said. You guessed the conversation would start only after having some privacy in your car.

What you didn’t know was that Bada had tried her best not to call you. She hated involving you in things like these and had a hard time talking about it. Ever since you started going out she promised herself to be the best girlfriend you could have, and that certainly didn’t include her usual pastimes. But she couldn’t simply stop one random day. Those were her friends she grew up with, her family. She had a reputation on the streets and it was a big part of her identity. But it was obvious that, at some point, these two sides of her would clash. And today seemed like that moment finally had come.

You both got to your car and decided you’ll drive her straight home so she could finally rest after a crazy night. A night that you still knew nothing about. Bada got in the passenger seat and started typing busily on her phone. You drove off, patiently waiting for her to finish. Her phone was on silent mode but you could see with the corner of your eye that she kept receiving messages. When she was finally done, she placed the phone in her pocket and stretched her arm to turn on the music in the car. She searched for a song that she liked in your playlist – the playlist she once made for you as a gift to think about her when you were driving alone – and leaned back in her seat, looking out the window. You kept checking on her constantly as much as you could while driving. She was lost in thought, face slightly turned away from you. You tried to think she was tired, she was stressed. You kept finding excuses for her while trying to be patient, to give her time. Maybe she didn’t feel like talking.

When her phone vibrated in her pocket again you sighed. She reached out and started typing again which only made it harder to keep calm. You clenched your hand on the steering wheel. She could talk to anyone but you. Her silence was driving you mad and all the times when you let things slide for the sake of your relationship came back to you in a flash. As much as you loved her, her attitude made you feel stupid. Stupid for trusting her. Stupid for telling her everything about you while she barely talked about herself. Stupid for finding her excuses. You swerved to the left unexpectedly, finally getting a reaction out of her. You stopped the car in an almost empty parking lot and leaned back in your seat, taking a deep breath.

“I’m listening.” You said sternly. Maybe it wasn’t the best way of addressing things. You had let all the negative emotions build up and now they were exploding with a passive-aggressive tone and a nasty attitude that Bada would not receive well for sure. She cocked her eyebrows at you, as if you were the unreasonable one between the two of you. “What happened last night?”

“I was framed, I told you.” She took a deep breath before answering. She was trying to control her anger as much as you.

“For what?”

“Does it matter?”

“Drug possession.” You stressed the words carefully.

“And I told you I didn’t do it!” Her voice was gradually getting louder. “What’s with all these questions?”

“Do you deal drugs?”

“Should I take the bus instead?” She spat back another question as an answer. She sighed in exasperation when she tried to open the door but you had them locked.

“Do your friends deal drugs?”

“No, we’re just your friendly neighborhood association, knitting sweaters and planting flowers.” She answered sarcastically and you couldn’t help but slam your fist against the door in frustration. Bada’s breath got stuck in her throat for a moment. She never saw you angry before. “I told you I didn’t fucking do it.” She said again.

“Not now. How about other times?” You said and, seeing that she was avoiding to answer, you continued. “You said you needed someone with a clean record to pick you up. Does that mean I’m the only person you know who doesn’t have problems with the police?” You raised your eyebrows in expectation. “Lusher? Tatter? Kyma?” You asked in disbelief as the expression on her face provided all the answers you needed. Those were the sweetest girls you met, some of her nicest friends and you had a hard time believing it.

“Kyma only has minor offences.” She muttered under her breath, knowing it wasn’t changing anything.

“What about you? What in the world are you doing whenever you’re not answering messages for hours? When you cancel things out of the blue? When someone calls you and you don’t even bother to come up with a lame excuse for leaving me behind?” Everything was coming back to you. Every moment you thought your relationship was more important than knowing everything. Every time you would bite your tongue just to give her space at the expense of your feelings.

“Stop acting like a controlling wife!” She snapped at you. You were both looking each other directly in the eye, the tension in the car almost be visible.

“I wouldn’t if you would just talk to me!” You almost cried out and it seemed like you lost the staring battle because you put a hand over your eyes, feeling your head heavy. She was still looking down at you, the look in her eyes softening just a little. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t even know you.” You said. You didn’t see it because you weren’t looking at her, but your words hurt her deeply. “The only thing I know about you is that you like to dance.”

“That’s a very important thing about me.” She replied coyly.

“Why do I have to find out stuff about you from the police, Bada?” She clicked her tongue and looked away, annoyed. She loved the way her name sounded out of your pretty mouth but not this time.

“Just because that asshole was wearing a fancy uniform doesn’t mean he’s a good guy, you know.” Her tone was rather pathetic and it annoyed you even more.

“See?!” You yelled. “You never answer anything I ask you! Maybe I really should have asked more about you at the station.”

“Then call that fucker!” She yelled back and reached out to you. For a moment you forgot to breathe. Her slim fingers got the business card out of your pocket. She crumbed it in her fist. “I bet he’d love to talk shit about me while trying to get between your legs.”

It was too much. Your heart was beating rapidly. The air you were breathing didn’t seem to be enough. Her last words hurt you so much that you didn’t even think when you did it. Your hand just moved on her own ready to slap her. She caught you quickly by the wrist, holding your hand just inches away from her cheek. She leaned over you, looking right through your eyes directly into your soul. Your wrist was still in her hand. It didn’t hurt. Maybe that’s why you didn’t feel the need to fight back.

“I wouldn’t do that.” She breathed out, face inches from yours. You let out a deep breath, not being able to hold her gaze. Your eyes fell down to her lips and you bit yours instead, trying to resist the urge to kiss her.

She pulled back releasing your hand, her back against the door, one leg crossed on the seat above the other. She covered her face with both her hands, groaning in frustration.

“I knew I shouldn’t have called you.”

You didn’t know what to say. You felt terrible. You leaned back in your seat, looking at the steering wheel absentmindedly. Your breathing was finally back to normal after several minutes of silence, as both of you reflected on your words and actions. Bada’s hands had now fallen under her eyes and gradually away from her face. Her thumb was brushing against her lower lip as her phone started vibrating again. You closed your eyes, not wanting to see or hear anything. She looked at the screen for a few moments before she decided to decline the call.

“I’ll drive you home.” You mumbled quietly, your voice almost cracking. She only nodded, sitting back in her seat and pulling at the seat belt. The rest of the drive was quiet. You only paid attention to the road ahead, which was already a lot of effort for your clouded mind. Bada would look at you from time, you could see it, but she wouldn’t say a thing. Thinking it would help you focus easier on driving, you turned the music back on. The song that stopped when you turned off the engine in the parking lot started playing again. The song she chose, a stupid cheesy song she would sing to you sometimes. You turned it off, as it did more damage than good to you.

You stopped the car in front of her apartment building after twenty minutes of silence. You didn’t dare to look at her. You didn’t dare to look at your own reflection in her eyes.

“Let’s go inside.” She said in a gentle voice that sounded nothing like before. You were tempted, very tempted to do so. But you knew that if you did, that fight would have been for nothing. You knew she could fool you again with a few kisses.

“You should rest.” You answered. She sighed. She waited for you to look at her, make any gesture in her direction, but you never did. She leaned forward, placing a goodbye kiss on your hair like she would after every date. You closed your eyes, feeling tears clouding your vision. She got out of the car and you looked after her only by the time she had her back to you. You stood there in silence, feeling like the loneliest person in the world. You saw her enter the building, then saw her again by the bedroom window after she got to her apartment. You knew she saw you too. The pastries you had bought on your way to the police station were cold and untouched on the backseat.

#bada lee #bada lee x reader #swf2 x reader #bada lee x y/n #swf2 #bada lee imagine #bada x reader

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feyhunter78 · 3 months

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This new sweet, nerdy Miguel has me FERAL!!!!! HE'S SO CUTE I CAN'T —😩😩😩😩

I need some jealousy from him~ How do you imagine he acts when he feels jealous? He gets quiet and aloof, trying to avoid y/n so she don't notice? Or he gets angry and tries to mark territory? Hehe

AHH THANK YOUUUUU

I definitely want to write a full jealousy fic for him but I’ll give you a sprinkling of my thoughts while I plan for a full fic🫣

So, in the beginning before y’all get together he’s very quiet, really draws into himself, tries to act normal but is just a lot more reserved.

He’s afraid to voice how he feels because he doesn’t want to creep you out. (Gabriel got in his head. Bless his heart the poor boy is trying to help his brother, but he’s going about it the wrong way)

Very much a situation where he’s absent from class for a week or so because he gets sick and when he comes back he realizes another guy in class has been helping you with your notes.

You smile at the new guy, thank him in that sweet way you always thank Miguel and his stomach just churns and his chest starts aching. For a second he thinks he’s still sick, but when you smile at him and ask how he’s feeling the pain in his chest disappears.

He brushes it off, thanks you quietly for your concern, and throws himself into his work. For the first week you shrug it off thinking he’s still not feeling well, but after a while you end up confronting him which leads to:

“I just—I saw you and Brett, and, I’m glad you got help with your notes but you know you could’ve come to me.” He’s leaning against the wall, the wall you’ve trapped him against with your determined attitude and your inability to register when you’re invading his personal space.

“Miguel you were home, sick, and I didn’t want to bother you.” You remind him, your voice soft, tinged with concern.

He looks down at his feet, his shoulders hunched, his whole body curled in on itself. “You’re never a bother, not to me, so don’t—please don’t go looking somewhere else.”

But, when y’all get together???? Game changer. He’s still shy and he’s still the same Miguel you knew before but he’s more confident, he knows you won’t find it weird or creepy that he feels territorial over you. Now when a frat guy looks your way a bit too long in the courtyard he simply tilts your chin up with one finger and kisses you.

Of course his face is bright red after that and he buries it the crook of your neck, his big strong arms crushing you to his chest, and every time he does this you think it’s so cute.

If y’all are in private though, and say you have to go to a party or you’re going to be doing some joint event with a frat, he definitely likes sitting you in his lap and mouthing at your skin. Nothing too crazy on your neck, but he does leave a few large hickeys on your breasts, ones that sticks out from beneath the neckline of your shirt.

Just a bit of:

“Miguel! Come on, you know I didn’t bring any concealer.” You whine, your fingers tangled in his hair as his warm lips ghost over your skin, his tongue tracing the blossoming marks that trail down from your pulse point, dipping beneath the neckline of your shirt.

“I’m sorry mi dulce, I couldn’t help it, you look so pretty.” He says, as he dips his head biting down on the soft flesh of your breasts, his large hands holding them, pushing them up, his fang-like incisors scratching against your skin deliciously.

“I have to go, I’m going to be late for the mixer.” You try to tell him, your hands leaving his hair to lightly push at his chest.

One of his hands leaves your breasts, and spans your upper back keeping you pressed against him.

“Just one more? Please?” He asks, looking up at you with such adoration in his eyes you nearly grab your phone to text your sisters you’re not going to make it.

You sigh, but it’s halfhearted, playful, indulging. “One more.”

He smiles and captures your lips one more throughly distracting you as he lays you down on the couch under him.

#meg talks #mail time #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel ohara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #nerd!miguel o'hara #nerd!miguel #nerd miguel #college!miguel #college!reader #sorority!reader

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mystsee · 7 months

Text

DRIFTED ✦ SIMON GHOST RILEY

PART 1 ✦ NEXT

✦ about: you and simon were lovers, but simon´s duty drifted apart your relationship. 2 years later simon comes back after a long mission and reunites with his friends again, what he didn´t expect was seeing you again.

✦ content: afab reader, anxiety, blood mentions, graphic descriptions of violence, stalker ex, protective simon, pining, reunited love, civilian life, no mask, panick attack, eventual smut, psycho, no mentions of y/n

✦ a.n: an idea of the outfit i had in mind :]

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

STANDING before your mirror, cold winter air strokes your hair, you keep trying your best to conceal your puffy eyes with all the possible makeup you have. you couldn’t keep your thoughts in control, spiraling to the worst case scenario.

ever since you broke up with the crazy man, paranoia is all over you, triple checking your locks, telling your best friend where you’re going, until today.

lily bursts inside your flat “what the actual fuck is wrong with him?” you thought the same, not believing what you heard on the call “i don’t know if i should call the police, will they believe me? i have no actual proof of him calling me, the number was blocked” you said frowning, surprised how the situation escalated so quickly.

when you broke up with him it was crazy to say the least, he was becoming this crazy jealous boyfriend every time you travelled because of work. working for the government as a translator caused you to travel a lot. but every time you came back, he started making arguments out of nowhere, making you confused as into why he was so mad everytime you came back, slowly realizing he didn’t trust you.

he was following you everywhere on his phone, always texting you, practically exploding with anger if you didn’t answer in less than 5 minutes. god forbid if you were at a meeting with your phone on silence, hell would come when you came back to your flat.

when the breakup came, he started throwing all these false accusations of you, cheater, you don’t care about me, blah blah blah and threats, it took you a call to the police to get the bastard out of your flat. but that didn’t calm your nerves. his words on the phone call today resonating on your head:

“don’t think i forgot about you, ill get you back again” his sick voice making you feel ill, but you won’t let a man control you.

you agreed coming to the pub because if he dares to come close to you and do something, you would be in public, and there would be proof. what you never expected was seeing him again.

as soon as you walked inside, the cozy ambient put you at ease, it was a small pub, lightly decorated of christmas. it was saturday, so of course it would be full today. you saw lily approaching you, with a big mischevious smile on his face, finding it odd

"hey you!" you said to lily hugging her close "you won’t believe it! chris brought someone new today! said he’s an old friend from the military” said lily raising her eyebrows at you, making you laugh, you weren’t really interested to seeing someone new right now.

simon saw the interaction at far, wondering who was behind lily, she was covering her entire frame “got eyes on someone?” chris asked suddenly “what? no, just curious who’s behind her” the moment he said that, lily moved, making simon’s heart freeze.

he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. you. all dolled up, beautiful as ever, a long black coat not hiding your curves under the skin tight black dress at all, the all black outfit complementing your absolutely beautiful face, those black tights making your legs look lovely in those high knee boots, to say he was in a trance was the least, he didn’t even realize you were in front on him, a very deep blush covering your cheeks, your scarf not helping you at all.

“simon?” he missed your voice, your soft angelic voice that brought him comfort after the hell he endured in a long mission, your voice that assured him everyday that he was loved.

you heard him say your name, making your heart stop for a second, it’s been a while 2 years since you heard his deep voice. you just kept staring at him, a bit wide eyed.

he felt his voice thick with emotion, aching to touch you again and feel your soft hands on him “so you are the old friend huh” you said after simon didn’t moved at all he was shocked

what a small world you thought “you know him?” asked lily to you in a small voice “uhm, yeah! long time ago though”

you just parted ways and never contacted each other again you were scared you would bother him if you called to see how he was simon went to a long mission, kept small contact with you, but he could see the distance that was growing between you both. he understood the breakup, quite healthy actually, but that didn’t mean you didn’t love each other anymore, it was hard dealing with the distance.

2 years passed, simon thinking of you practically 24/7, wondering where you were, thinking if he should call you to see how you were, and 2 years of you trying to move on, never forgetting him, matter of fact, you kept thinking of the breakup over and over again, thinking maybe you made a wrong choice.

after a while you thought maybe dating again would help, but you accidentally picked a very wrong guy a psycho to catch feelings for.

you could feel his stare on you as you moved to sit next to him, the only seat left, even though the table was big, simon chose to sit on the side where he had no chairs beside him on both sides, so he could spread comfortably.

but now he had your knees on his left side, you bumped into them a little, muttering a small sorry, simon feeling warm inside after finally feeling you again

he was checking you out, similar to what you were doing, you noticed his arms got bigger, bulging from his hoodie, making your mind go to another complete direction, you hoped your scarf covered your cheeks.

as the night passed, simon saw the way you slowly passed from tipsy, to funny drunk, your scarf long forgotten, making simon eyes wander to your chest, he remembered that of you, everytime you drank, you literally became the embodiment of a comedian.

right now you were way too deep in a debate about cats, the wine making your head go back to what you usually debate when your drunk, cats plotting against humanity.

“i swear everytime those fur balls purr they get inside our minds” you slurred, confidently laying back on the chair nodding your head, “as soon as suzy makes that cute as hell sound, i’m on my knees for her, which is weird you guys! they are contrlling us!" grabbing your glass of vodka again, until you felt a hand on top of you

"okay okay! you know what?" chris's laugh was way too contagious, making you laugh with him as well "i think its enough for today, why don't we move this to your flat?"

after many failed attempts of trying to open your door, and laughing manically, you finally made it, inviting all in, you knew this was a good idea, chris and lily helped you plan all this, the closer they are with you, the less he could come close to you.

as simon passed in front of you, you made eye contact with him, all the memories came flooding back to you. you felt simon touch briefly your hand, making you feel warm inside.

everyone accommodated to your 2 big sofas in your living room, you had your small desk behind the sofas where you worked, and the kitchen on the right side, it was an open kitchen.

you, not wanting the party over, went directly to the kitchen to grab some wine “anyone wants a glass of wine?” they all said yes. the only ones missing were 2 of chris’ friends, they went to buy some beer.

after serving the glasses of wine, you remembered a talk you had with simon a while ago

“doll, you really need to make this posters, i bet people would buy them, they are way too original” said simon looking to you, locking his arms around you, you were on his lap finishing a design, and simon kept distracting you with his small kisses here and there, on your neck mostly

“maybe in the future i will print them” you said with a small smile, nervous to show your works.

you nudged simon on his arms with a small smile and moved your head to your left side, where your room was “i want to show you something” simon was up in an instant.

as you opened the door to your room, you heard simon inhale deeply behind you, the alcohol making you forget what you two did inside this room simon literally rearranging your guts every night, you grabbed his big hand and moved him to sit on the bed, simon was very confused, because why on earth is he in your room.

you went behind your bookcase, and grabbed a big poster on your hand “look, i finally did it” simon was at loss of words, it was a design you both made one night, it had a special meaning for you both.

you went to sit next to him “i print it to remember us” you said slurring a little, the alcohol was sure as hell making you very open to him. as you slowly put your head on his shoulder, simon freezed to the spot.

“i remember when we made it” his gruff voice said, giving you shivers down your spine, you were so close to him, feeling his heartbeat on you, wondering if he felt how fast was yours beating.

you moved your head up to look at him, and he could feel your eyes on him, not daring to move his eyes because he would definitely kiss you right there. you just looked so beautiful tonight. “i still do them on my free time, but this is the one i love the most”

your hand moved to his thigh unconsciously, you used to put your hand on his thigh anytime, you liked it. but you forgot you are in the present right now, and simon with his thigh tense “oh! sorry sorry! i think i drank a bit too much” you said laughing, standing up with the poster on his hand. “i-i need to go to the bath-bathroom, wanna join?” you said laughing and slurring way too much. when you moved to the door, your eyes widened, slapping your hand on your forehead “wait n-no, that’s when i shower, hah, for-forget my invitashion” you said nervously speed walking to your bathroom, leaving simon alone in your room, he laughed, he really missed you.

you grabbed your glass of wine after going to the bathroom, sitting next to simon on the sofa, he was really close to you, you could move just an inch and be on his lap, you really miss sitting there, your favorite spot, but your mind still has a bit of self control, so you just kept nudging him with your knee laughing, making simon feel warm inside for the 500th time tonight.

chris was telling a joke when you heard the doorbell ring, remembering the friends of chris went to buy beer, so, you stood up to go to the door alone, big mistake, you opened the door with a big smile on your face, until you saw him, on your door, with a deathly smile to you. any trace of alcohol in your body vanished, as well as your smile. you felt your heart stop for a second, fear coming all the way up to your throat.

your door had a small hallway, so your friends couldn’t see who was on your door, you just closed the door with any force you could “go away!” you muttered with a small voice, anxiety was making you not breathe well constricting your voice. simon heard that, making his breath stop for a moment.

you tried closing the door on him but he opened with a lot of force, almost breaking it. he started walking towards you.

“go away!” you screamed, trying to push him out of your apartment, but he had way too much strength. simon heard the scream and immediately stood up. in less than a second he saw your small frame pushed to the plant behind you making you hit your head. he saw this psycho push you even harder to the wall, making you whimper, and he went mad.

chris got there faster than simon, the sofa he was in was closer to the hallway, and tried pushing him out of you, but the psycho had more force than him, he just pushed him away to the floor.

you were on the floor, your nose bleeding, making you worried, even though your eyes were spiraling all over the room. you had your back to him making it hard to see his next move, a big punch on your left hip, making you scream.

the bastard stomped on your hip, a small crack was heard. your screams made simon see red. the man almost got on top on you, until simon grabbed him with all his force and moved him away from you, chris grabbed him and punched him in the face repeatedly, dragging him out of the apartment.

by then, you were crying hard, you couldn’t feel your leg anymore, there was blood on the floor, when did this happen? you felt the panick attack creeping up on you “simon?” you said in between breaths, lily was calling 911 near you. “i’m here doll, hey look at me, i’m right here” you tried finding him but you were seeing small spots on your eyes making you dizzy “fucking hell, lily we need to take her to the hospital” simon was panicked, you were about to go unconscious. who the hell was that guy?

“hey, doll, come on, look at me, yes just like that” you tried your hardest looking at him, but your leg hurted too much “my leg hurts! i can’t move it” you said between whimpers. simon tried to stand you up, but you just couldn’t “baby, you’ll be okay, try not to think of your leg okay?” you felt simon arms slowly carry you to the door, you were staining his shirt with your nose bleed, but he didn’t care, he just needed to get you to the hospital.

he managed to get you out of the door, until you started to see black all around you, the last thing you heard was your name from simon’s panicked voice.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

hiiii, so! how was part 1? i just finished writing this, but i’ll start tomorrow writing part 2, there’ll be little to no angst in this story i get way too anxious with that xd im a sucker for fluff so there will be quite a lot of fluff in here hehe

as you can see, i like adding a pic of the outfit jiji, but! feel free to imagine it as your own! :P

i had this story in my mind for like 3 months i kept daydreaming about it and thought huh 🤔 why don’t i make it a story , i finally wrote it down! yay #proud! anyways idk how many parts this will be, i’ll write the plot as it goes, but it will be most likely centered between reader x simon so! hope you liked it!!!

#simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost x you #simon ghost riley fic #simon riley fluff #simon riley #simon riley x oc #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x female #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley civilian life #protective simon ghost riley #simon still loves you #reunited love #angst

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rafeandonlyrafe · 6 months

Text

absolution

words: 10k

warnings: 18+ only! smut, panic attacks, parental loss, kidnapping, established relationship, descriptions of violence

follows the events of the end of season 2/start of season 3

“rafe, whats wrong?” you ask, taking his face in your hands. you can see how visibly on edge he is from the way his eyes are darting around, hands clenching into fists then unclenching rapidly.

“it’s okay, princess, nothing is wrong.” rafe says, using the pet name for you that he always does when he’s definitely done something wrong, like gotten into another fight. he steps out of your hold, which is what makes you realize something is actually going on. he never rejects your touch.

“babe…” you begin, but then you hear it, a distant call. your furrow your brow, turning towards the noise. “what is that?” you begin to walk deeper into the house when rafe stops you by grabbing your wrist, tugging you back against his body.

“don’t go down there princess.” rafe pulls you into a separate room but you hear it clearer now that you're listening for it, a call for help, very clearly in rafe’s sisters voice. it sounds like it’s coming from the wine cellar but you can’t be sure.

“sarah? what is happening to sarah?” you ask, turning to rafe with wide eyes, scared of what is going on. you weren’t sure what to think when rafe texted you late at night, telling you that he needed you at his house asap. you were already freaked out from the drive over, playing terrible situations in your head as your anxiety spiked.

“shh, calm down, baby. just let me explain.” rafe leads you away and your mind is spinning too much for you to think.

“rafe, i’m starting to get freaked out here-” you say, but when he leads you to sit down on the couch, you follow him. you’re sure your boyfriend has some sort of reasonable explanation as to what is going on here because no matter how bad people try to make him out to be, you know the man that you’re in love with isn’t capable of doing all those terrible things he’s accused of.

“shh, drink this tea to calm you down then i’ll explain, okay?”

you realize then that your breathing is too fast, so you accept the tea, taking a sip of the warm liquid, feeling it soothe your throat. you instantly start to feel that something is wrong, and you look up at rafe with hurt and confusion in your eyes.

“rafe-” you begin, and he quickly drops to his knees in front of you, hugging you as you begin to hyperventilate, “rafe, what did you do?” you ask, and your speech sounds slurred even to your ears.

“i’ve got you baby. i’ve got you. i’m so sorry, god, i’m so fucking sorry.” you see him kiss the side of your head but your skin is too numb to feel it. your vision begins to go out and then you slump forward, everything going dark as you lean against rafes shoulder.

your blinks are heavy as you feel the last bits of sleep slipping away. you let out a groan and turn into rafe’s hold, realizing you must be on a couch or something as your leg slips off the thin surface. you press your face against rafes chest when your ears make out unfamiliar sounds.

you go to sit up when rafe tugs you back down, but you still get a good enough view of where you’re at.

“rafe.” you turn to him, fury in your eyes. “what the actual fuck.”

“baby, i promise i can explain.” but you’re sick of waiting for an explanation that clearly isn’t coming if he had to drug you last time to get out of telling you. you rip out of his hold and stand up, wobbling slightly as the effets are still wearing off. you look around the room, it’s rusty and small and when your eyes land upon a window, that’s when you realize.

“we’re on a boat?” you turn to look at rafe, who is now sitting up. his gaze quickly drops, too ashamed to look at you.

“you drugged me and brought me onto a fucking boat?!” you scream, running your hands through your hair.

“i had to go, baby.” rafe stands up, trying to grab your hands but you back up away from him, not wanting to feel his touch. “i had to go and i didn’t want to leave you there all alone. i did it because i love you princess.”

rafe must be referring to the fact that your parents died two years ago in a car crash, and rafe was the only person you had to lean on. “fuck you, rafe.” you head towards the door. you turn around suddenly before opening it. “you want to know the worst part?” you continue on before rafe can answer, “is that you thought you had to drug me. that you didn’t trust me enough to just come with you. i love you, rafe.”

you walk away at that, slamming the door so rafe can’t follow, but you know he will anyway. you walk across the grated walkway, looking out and realizing you’re so far from land that there’s none in sight, even far off in the distance. you go to head down the stairs onto the main deck, when you bump shoulders with someone.

“ward?” your heart drops in your chest. he’s supposed to be dead.

“y/n, it’s good to see you.” he says, and you turn to look at rafe, who of course followed you, wondering how long he’s known. how long he’s sympathized with you over losing a parent, how he felt the pain that you had felt, how you were working through the loss together.

“don’t.” you tell rafe when he opens his mouth, tears welling up in your eyes. you turn towards ward, feeling so overcome with emotions. “i’m glad you’re alive.” it’s all you can get out before sobs take over. you turn and run down the stairs, glancing back onto to see ward stopping rafe from following you.

ward has always been nice to you. he helped you get your family home back in your name once your parents died by briefly owning it as part of his real estate business only to sell it back to you for a single dollar. it was when you and rafe first started dating and while you’re sure that had a part to play, he could have turned around and sold the house for almost a million dollars but still chose to help you out instead.

you head to the front of the ship, wanting to get as much distance as you can at the moment. you find a spot against a crate and slide to the ground, your legs still feeling wobbly from the drugs. you look out at the ocean, finding the way the sun reflects off the waves beautiful, but you wish you were viewing it under different circumstances. you’re not sure how much time passes, but suddenly a man comes over to you.

“are you a stowaway?” he asks. you look up at him in confusion. you’re honestly not sure if you are, you have no context as to why you are on this boat.

“why?” you choose to answer back. maybe coming out was a bad idea, but it didn’t seem like rafe was trying to hide at all.

“captain asked us to look for stowaways.” he explains, leaning down to examine you. “i think you should come with me either way, pretty thing.”

you’re honestly getting very hungry so while you don’t want to see rafe (or ward, even if you’re glad he’s not dead), you get up and follow the man towards the bridge. you also have no clue what he will do to you if you don't follow.

“if you are a stowaway, you’re the damn sexiest one i’ve ever seen.” the man tells you as you head up the stairs. your eyes widen and you’re glad he’s walking behind you to not see your expression as you rush up the final steps, opening the door to reveal who you assume is the captain and rafe.

“she is not a stowaway.” rafe puts a protective arm around you, and you let him as the man gives you a dirty look.

“well, excuse me for being thorough.” he holds up his hands in defense. the captain gives him a nod, and he leaves the room.

“sweetie-” rafe says, but you step out of his hold, as comfortable as it feels, how familiar it is to have your bodies touching.

“i’m hungry.” you tell rafe. it takes him a second to get moving, mumbling something to the captain about telling him if they find anyone before leading you out of the room.

he takes you to the mess area and you eat, almost unable to swallow as you hold back the thick tears that are threatening to spill. you give him plenty of silence to tell you what's going on, but he stays quiet instead.

“y/n-” rafe begins when you get up, but you walk away without a word. you head back outside, leaning against the railing.

you catch movement from below and look down to see sarah. “sarah, hey!” you call, relieved to see that she’s alright, but she looks up with a shake of her head and holds a finger over her lips. you nod in agreement. you don’t know what’s going on, but you’ve always liked sarah, despite becoming more distant once you started dating rafe.

a minute after she hurries away you see ward, scanning the deck with a glare on his face. you don’t know all the pieces of the puzzle, but you’re beginning to put a bit together. “ward!” you call out. he snaps his head up to you.

“i’m a little busy right now, y/n.” he says, going to wave you off, but you want to help sarah.

“it’s about sarah!” that gets his attention as he walks up the stairs quickly, taking them two at a time. “sarah? where is she, have you seen her?”

“n-no. i just wanted to ask if she was alright. she was yelling last time i saw her at tanneyhill.” rafe pinches his nose in between his fingers. “yes, she’s alright. i’m trying to find her to make sure she stays alright.” “okay, sorry.” you say, hoping your conversation gave sarah at least a little more time. you always admired her rebellious spirit, wishing you had some of it yourself.

the sun is just starting to lower in the sky when you hear a message playing over the loudspeaker “attention all passengers and crew, report to the tween forward hull… attention all passengers, all crew, report to the tween forward hull. that’s an order.”

you’re not exactly sure where the tween forward hull is, but you see a few other people walking quickly that way so you follow as the message plays again.

one of the men that you're guessing is crew opens a door, signaling for people to head inside. you follow the group, only pausing when you’re joined by the man who questioned you about being a stowaway earlier. he gives you a smirk that has your stomach turning. you stop suddenly, ducking into a doorway. you don’t want to be in a room with a bunch of strange men, and you don’t see rafe anywhere among the group.

you get a sudden feeling in your chest, one that’s all too familiar. you begin to panic, your hands shake and your legs give out. you slide to the floor as you feel the anxiety attack overtake your body. it’s been too much stress over the past 24 hours, you should have known that this was coming.

you can’t bring yourself to move as you rest your head against the cool metal, hoping you can get it to calm down on your own. if only rafe was here to make it all better. he could instantly lessen your panic with a soft touch and his sweet words.

you’re not sure how much time has passed by the time you can control your breathing. you stand up slowly, feeling your knees shake slightly. you head towards where the men were going but get confused. you head down a hallway, then another, then another, you’re not even sure if you’re retracing your own footsteps at this point or not. the panic begins to set in again when you push through a door and reveal that you’re outside. it’s completely empty from what you can see.

you head out, looking around when you see sarah by the lifeboats. “sarah!” you shout, running over to her. “what’s going on?”

sarah continues working to get the lifeboat into the water. you hear something and turn your head when you see the crane going. “sarah, please just tell me what’s happening.”

“i just…” sarah pushes her hair out of her face. “i just don’t have time, i’m sorry y/n.”

you step back as sarah starts to lower the lifeboat into the water, suddenly hearing yelling as you see the crane lifting a large golden cross. you leave sarah and head towards the commotion. you shouldn’t have run, you immediately regret it when you smack straight into people fighting. you realize quickly it’s jj and the captain, and the captain is holding a machete.

“are you one of them too?” he asks, and you don’t know what he’s referring to so you just stand there in silent shock. he suddenly knocks jj off and throws him overboard, and that gets you moving. kiara, who you just realized was there as well, gives him a kick, and you follow as well with a kick to his back. he falls down to his knees as kiara gives him a kick that should earn her a black belt, knocking him out.

you go to ask kiara what is happening, but she is diving over the edge. you look over to see that she’s holding a passed out jj above the water so he can breathe.

you head out onto the main deck right as a girl you don’t recognize drops the line holding the cross. rafe comes out from behind the crates to grab onto the rope.

“rafe!” you yell, running towards him. you go to help grab onto the line to help him, when suddenly the main rope connecting the cross to the crane is dropped and the rope pitches forward. your hand gets caught and before you can right yourself, you’re falling overboard. you tumble into the ocean, the sudden cold knocking the breath out of you.

it’s hard to tell which way is up as you swim, but you eventually break the surface.

you can hear rafe calling for you but you can’t focus on anything other than keeping your head above water. you’ve never been the strongest swimmer, despite growing up on the island.

“get y/n! she went overboard!” you can hear rafes yells even as the waves pound against your head.

you look up to see two more figures jumping overboard. “y/n!” you hear, and you turn to see sarah approaching in the lifeboat she was lowering earlier. you climb on with sarahs help, realizing pope is one of the people who jumped overboard.

you sit in shock against the bottom of the boat, hearing yelling but not being able to make anything out except for rafe yelling your name over and over again as another panic attack sets in.

the boat begins to speed away as you sit up in confusion. you don’t want to leave, you want rafe. that’s all you want. you see him look over the edge of the boat, yelling your name frantically.

“raaaafe!” you shout as the lifeboats engine stalls. you consider making a jump for it, returning to rafe, but you know that you would sink as you can barely move your limbs.

“y/n shut up!” you hear sarah yell, but you can’t focus on that right now as the engine comes back to life and you speed away from your boyfriend.

you lay your cheek against the rubbery side of the boat, letting sobs overtake your body as the boat gets smaller and smaller. “rafe.” you let out a little sniffle.

“god, y/n he’s not the guy you thought he was.” pope suddenly says. you turn to look at him, confused. “what?”

“he kept shit from you. bad shit. that cross? that belonged to my family and rafe stole it.”

“no, no, he wouldn’t do that.” you say, sitting up and wiping the tears off your face, even as sea water comes and splashes it, wetting your cheeks again.

“he drugged you, y/n, you’re not seriously sticking up for him right now?” sarah says.

“i’m just…” you realize that they’re all very pissed at rafe right now and you really don’t want to try your chances as you being thrown overboard. “i’m just confused right now. and exhausted.” “aren’t we all.” the girl you don’t recognize says. she sees your confusion and gives you a gentle smile, “i’m cleo.”

“y/n.” you mumble back, pulling your knees into your chest as the sun starts to set, making you shiver.

“y/n girl, it’s an island! you’re not going to be able to get it clean!” cleo says as you try to sweep the sand off of the makeshift floor out of felled tree trunks.

“it just makes me feel better.” you say, using the bundle of twigs you tied together as a makeshift broom.

“alright girl.” cleo holds her hands up. “well i’m heading down to the bonfire with everyone else. promise you’ll join us soon.”

“yeah, i will.” you nod. you finish cleaning the floor the best you can before you turn to yourself, grabbing the bucket of seawater you kept up here to put out fires and using it to rub the dirt off your arms and legs. you simply are not made for this type of living. you hate the bugs, you hate eating fish every night, you hate sleeping on the ground, and more than anything, you miss rafe.

“hey guys.” you say when you make it down to the beach, sitting on a log next to cleo, who you’ve gotten the closest to among the group. everyone else formed their little tribe, and it’s like you were the outsider, the only one wishing constantly for home. you thought you and sarah would get along more, but she spends all of her time with john b, pretending your don't exist, a constant reminder of her brother.

“what do you think rafe is doing with the cross now.” pope asks. you visibly jump at the name.

“pope, let’s not…” cleo says, reaching and squeezing your hand.

“i wonder if that fucker is melting them into gold bars as we speak.” pope continues.

“guys, stop.” cleo says more firmly as tears begin to roll down your face.

“she needs to hear this, cleo. it’s not right that she’s sitting here crying over a murderer.” jj stands up for his friend.

“i’m not!” you shout. “i know how you guys feel, damn you make it well known, but it’s hard for me to separate the man i loved, the only person who was there for me when my parents died, with the one that you know. so i’m fucking sorry if i’m sitting here crying over him, if i’m missing him. he was my rock, my everything, for years. i’m not saying you can’t talk shit about him, but at least have the decency to do it when i’m not around.”

you get up and walk away from the fire again, towards the water. the ocean has been your one solace while you are on the island. you’ve been practicing swimming every single day, and you even have tried some of the makeshift boards that john b made. you walk out just so your calves are submerged, closing your eyes under the moonlight as you feel the eb and flow of the waves coming in and then rolling out to sea.

you stand there for probably ten minutes before you hear the splashing of people joining you. you turn to see pope and jj standing there.

“we’re really sorry, y/n.” pope says, with jj nodding along. “it’s easy for us to forget that you didn’t know anything. we shouldn’t be upset at you and we will try not to talk bad about rafe while you’re around.” “thank you guys.” you say, giving them both a hug. you follow them back towards the bonfire, plastering a smile on your face as you sit and laugh at their jokes. it takes everything in you not to start crying again, but you know that they made a big step apologizing, and you need to show how much you appreciate it.

“guys wake the hell up!” you hear cleo say. you sit up suddenly, not really sleeping anyways, just laying on your makeshift bed.

“a plane.” you stand up suddenly as the rest of the crew starts to wake up. “there’s a fucking plane!” you yell.

“we have to make sure it sees us!” you yell, and start joining cleo in running to higher ground. you wave your arms and jump and scream as pope lights the bonfire.

“hey!” you shout as the plane starts to get further away. “no, no, no, no, fuck!” you scream, falling to the ground.

“girl, it’s turning around, get up!” cleo says, and you lift your head to see the plane heading towards the pond. you feel tears running down your face before you even realize you’re crying. you hug cleo as tightly as you can before taking off towards the plane.

you stay back as john b talks to the pilot. sarah gives you a look and you share the same one right back, this guy is sketchy, and the plane certainly isn't in good condition. the pilot introduces himself as jimmy and while you’re a little bit more apprehensive about getting on, cleo seems too excited for you to point out how weird he is to her, so you climb on.

you sit towards the back of the plane, happy to look out the window and keep to yourself. you just want to get back to the outer banks, back to your bed, and hopefully, back to rafe. despite everything the pogues have told you, you can’t damper the love you still feel for rafe. you know it’s messed up what rafe did, but you also know that everything he did was for the good of his family, and for you. he knows from seeing you lose your entire family in one moment how precious it is.

the others begin to whisper, and you lean in to listen. jj thinks that the pilot works for ward. they begin to look through his stuff, and you half heartedly join them, not understanding why they’re so upset. they’re still getting off the island either way.

once they find proof, they begin to form a plan. while jj attempts to put the proof back, jimmy sees, and turns around, letting go of the wheel. you scream as the plane begins to shake up and down. your heart begins to beat fast again as you look out the window in attempt to distract yourself and stop the oncoming panic attack, but all you see is the sea approaching way too fast as you drop altitude.

you accidentally fall into cleo, but she holds you close as the plane suddenly hits the water, going nose first. you black out for half a second before you realize how much water is flooding the plane. you kick open the door and begin swimming out, towards where men are gathering on the shore. you assume they are police and can help you get home.

you ignore any commotion going on behind you and focus solely on swimming towards the beach. you see kie pulling jimmy onto the shore and rush to help her. “kie…” you begin as you see four wheelers approaching you, who do not look friendly. “we gotta run.”

she nods and sets off towards the town, but theres so many people. “split up.” she whispers and you nod, running the opposite direction, but when you go to turn, you’re quickly snagged around the waist. you let out a shrill scream as you’re tossed into the back of a truck. you try to see if kiara gets taken as well, but you can’t tell.

you’re brought into a mansion, directed right up into a bedroom. you try to look around the place for kiara, but you don’t see her. you hope that means that she’s gotten away, but you can’t be sure. there were just so many men swarming the beach within minutes.

a couple of the guys ask you questions but you stay completely silent. you were hoping the men were police, but clearly there is a different power at play here.

“dinner at 8. get dressed.” the man who lead you to your room says before slamming the door. you look around at all the comforts you’ve lived without. you have no clue what time it is now, but you rush into the shower. you’ve been longing for one ever since you got onto that godforsaken boat. you strip down and scrub your skin clean, finally able to brush out your hair. you stay in the shower until the water starts to get cold.

you get out and while drying off find a pale blue dress and undergarments laid out for you. what kind of weirdo has this stuff already available you don’t know, but you get dressed anyways once you’re dry. you admire yourself in the mirror, finally seeing the version of yourself that you’re used to seeing.

you look at the bed but don’t dare sit on it, not when you know that you’d fall asleep and not want to get up from the plush surface. you watch out the windows, trying to memorize the movement of the armed men, until a maid opens the door.

“they’re ready.”

you nod and follow her downstairs nervously. she gestures to an open door and you see a man with his back to you, pouring himself a whiskey. your heart instantly feels a burst of pain as you think of how much rafe liked his whiskey, and then the man is turning around, and your heart doesn’t just burst, but shatters into a million pieces.

“rafe.” you sob, running towards him as he moves around the table to get to you.

“y/n, oh my god, baby.” rafe says, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“i’ve missed you so much.” you sob into rafe’s shoulder, letting your tears wet his suit. “i love you.” you pull away to look him in the eye. “i love you rafe.” because no matter what anyone else said, you do love him, with your whole heart.

“no baby, don’t so that.” rafe holds your face in his hands. “i don’t deserve your love for what i did for you. i’m so sorry baby.” he leans in and finally finally connects your lips in a kiss you melt against him, having thought about this moment the entire time you were apart.

“i love you too.” rafe says when he pulls away for a moment. you both go to resume the kiss when you hear footsteps. you take rafes hand in yours and turn to the door, eyebrows raising up when you see kiara. you were so sure she’d gotten away.

“kie-” you begin, but you see her eyes turn to rafes face, and then your joined hands.

she starts to yell, but a voice stops you. you just now realize there is a man in the connecting room.

“who are you?” rafe asks, and you step slightly behind him, squeezing his hand in fear.

“me? my name is carlos singh.” the man replies. “it’s a pleasure to meet you, mr. cameron, and your lovely girlfriend.” he gives a nod towards you before addressing kiara. “please, come sit down.”

“she doesn’t need to be here for this. please.” rafe says. carlos singh looks you over before giving a nod to the man by the door.

“no rafe, i want to stay with you.” you say, afraid of getting separated again.

“don’t worry, mr. cameron will be returned to your room.” singh says, and for some weird reason you trust him on that. while you wouldn’t trust him with anything else, he doesn’t seem like the person to lie. he’s got too much power to need to do that.

“i love you.” you tell rafe as the man places a hand on your arm, guiding you out of the room. you look back before the door shuts, seeing the hurt on kiaras face and the love on rafes.

you listen to kiara and rafe continuing to argue over the diary, like you have since they were dropped back off in the room you were in. they came and watched something by the window, but rafe made you stay back. you jumped when you heard a gunshot, and he quickly came back over to hold you tight to his chest, refusing to tell you what he saw.

“guys, can we just breathe for one second.” you say.

“i don’t even want to hear from your right now.” kiara says with an exasperated laugh. “i mean, we told you every shitty thing your boyfriend did and you just take him back like this?”

“don’t talk to her like that.” rafe says, and then they begin to argue again. you close your eyes, wishing you could drown out the noise.

“shut up!” you yell after a minute, unable to take it anymore. “just shut up. either kiara doesn’t know where the diary is or she isn’t going to tell you rafe. either way we are in the same position. we have to figure something else out.”

you’re delivered dinner a half hour or so later as you attempt to think of a plan. you eat in silence, sitting next to rafe while kiara is across the room. you’re convinced if you could just explain why you forgive rafe that she would understand it. just like she looks out for her family of pogues, rafe looks out for his family. but you’re not in the mood for anymore shouting and when night falls, you begin to prepare for bed after making a plan. no use trying to stay up all night in preparation for something and being too exhausted in the morning to make a move.

“here, baby, i found you pajamas.” rafe says, handing you some clothes so you could get out of your dress. kiara takes the other set into the bathroom and changes before you and rafe go in there together. he helps undress you, peppering kisses all over your body as he does so.

“i missed you so much.” rafe says. “i sent planes out every day to look for you. sorry this singh guy found you first.”

“it’s okay.” you soothe your hands over rafes shoulders, before bringing one up to the back of his head to feel his short cropped hair. “i knew you would look for me.”

“i never should have brought you along at all. it was selfish of me.” rafe pouts, but you kiss the frown off his face.

“your mistake was not telling me everything that happened when it happened. if i would have known, i could have helped. that’s the only reason i was upset. we could have made better decisions together.” “never keeping anything from you again.” rafe promises as you get dressed into your pajamas. rafe stays in his suit, not finding any clothes for him. you come out of the bathroom to see kiara is already on the couch, turned away with her back to you.

you watch as rafe lays down on the bed, pulling back the covers for you to get in next to him. you pause before you touch the sheets.

“what’s wrong?” rafe asks.

“it’s been… a month since i’ve slept in a real bed.”

“baby.” rafe sighs, taking your hand in his and tugging you gently. you finally lay down against the silky sheets, letting out a soft moan at the feeling of the mattress sinking underneath you. “i promise you’ll never have to sleep on the ground ever again.”

“rafe.” you turn to look at him in the darkness. “our priority has to be getting back to the outer banks, yeah? i want to go home. fuck the gold, fuck the diary, fuck it all. home, please.” “yes, of course, baby.” rafe says, pressing a kiss against your lips. “i’ll get you home, promise.”

“thank you.” you kiss rafe again, feeling that level of comfort and contentment that you’ve been missing. you let him bundle you into his arms, holding you close to his warm body.

“now tell me all about where you were.” “well, they called it poguelandia…”

“baby.” you feel rafe shake you. “babygirl, you gotta wake up.”

“mmm.” you hum and shake your head no. “don’t want to.”

“i know, princess, i promise i’m gonna get you home soon but kiara just left to talk to mr. singh and i don’t know whats about to happen.” the reality of your situation begins to set in. you sit up, realizing you’re not at home, happy in your own bed.

“so sorry, princess.” rafe says, giving you a kiss as you get out of bed, slipping your shoes on incase you have to run.

“kiara left?” you ask, rubbing your eyes as rafe finger combs through your hair.

“she went to talk to mr. singh. i don’t know what about but i need you to just be ready for anything. no matter what happens though, you keep yourself safe, okay? even if that means abandoning me.” “what? rafe no.” you shake your head, grabbing his hand. “i’m not letting us get separated again.”

“you have to, baby, if it means not getting hurt. i can’t lose you, okay? i already blame myself too much for holding that fucking cross up instead of diving in to save you. instead, they got you. that’s my fault.” “you didn’t know what was going on. you didn’t know they’d take me. you thought you’d get the cross secured and then you’d rescue me.”

“i should have prioritized you over that fucking gold.” rafe places a hand on your jaw, raising your head so you have to look at him. “don’t try to make it seem okay baby. its my biggest regret.” “after drugging me.” you whisper, then let your smile slip. it’s not funny by any means, but god, you’ve been through some shit and your only coping mechanism right now is a bit of humor.

“after that, yeah.”

you’re about to respond when kiara enters the room. “what happened, kie?” you ask, noticing she’s starting to cry. you leave rafes side to wrap your arms around her as she sits down on the couch. you’re surprised she doesn’t push you away.

“we aren’t getting out.” kiara finally says, picking her head up.

“we just need to work together.” you tell kiara, squeezing her shoulders. “we’ll be okay.”

“i’ve got a boat that can get us off the island. back home. we just have to get out of here.” rafe says.

you hear a car engine and all three of you rush to the window, seeing men pile up in the back of the truck bed. “they’re going to find john b.” kiara says.

“and sarah.” you look to rafe.

“as if he cares about sarah, he shot at her.” kiara says.

“what i did to sarah… what i tried to do… that was wrong. i never should have touched her, alright? i know that, so you don’t have to remind me.” rafe begins to pace, running his hand over his head as tears begin to fall. “she was family, i never should have touched her, but i just lose control in moments like that, i don’t know what happens, and im trying, im trying to get better.”

“we know, rafe, hey.” you stop his hand from hitting his own head. “hey, baby, we know.” rafe lets you wrap your arms around him, leaning to rest his head against your shoulder as you rub over your back. “i’ll help you work on it, i promise.”

you give kiara a pleading glance, hoping she will help rafe know that everyone doesn’t see him as a bad guy. “okay, rafe.” she nods.

“are you sure about this?” you ask rafe.

“yeah, get in the wardrobe. don’t come out until i get you like we planned.” rafe says, leading you into the bathroom.

“i can help, kie tell him” you say.

“no offense but it’s better if you stay in there.” “okay.” you concede, sitting in the wardrobe and closing your eyes as rafe closes the door and begins to stage the fight. you try to drown out the yelling, even though you know it’s fake.

you want to scream when you hear the guard and rafe fighting, but after a minute, the door opens and you rush out to see rafe unhurt.

you follow them out the room and down the stairs. you keep tight to rafe, trusting him to get you out and protect you.

“kiara, come on.” you whisper as she stops to take a picture of the painting on the wall. “kie.”

she stops typing and rejoins you as you head outside. rafe makes you stay back for a minute as he looks over the fence before kiara gets an idea and you all take off, running after a truck.

“come on, baby.” rafe says as you all climb over the fence. you barely make it to grab onto the truck, but when you do, the three of you are met face to face with a man sitting in the bed.

“rafe.” you say when he pulls himself up and over the side, punching the man in the face repeatedly. kiara helps you get all the way in.

“rafe!” you say again as the struggle continues, until rafe throws him out of the truck. “rafe, oh my god.” you say, seeing his true power for the first time.

“shh, baby it’s alright.” rafe sits down next to you, seeing how scared you are. “i had to do it for us, okay?”

you nod, but kiara doesn’t look convinced. “for us.” rafe repeats, putting his arm around your shoulders.

kiara peaks over the top of the truck. “we have to cover ourselves, guys. there’s a checkpoint.” thankfully there’s a tarp in the truck. you arrange it over top of your bodies, rafe lying almost completely over top of you, and you know it’s for your protection. you hold tightly to his arm as the car slows. thankfully they just take a quick look in the back before letting you through.

you let out a big sigh of relief when you make it through. “to the boat.” rafe kisses the side of your head. “we are heading to the boat.” he looks over you to kiara, and you nod at him. “kie, we can give you a ride out, drop you somewhere safe.”

“come on, kie, you don’t have a better option right now. i know you don’t trust rafe, but trust me.” you tell kiara.

“okay.” she whispers.

“go sit princess, i have to get us untied.” rafe tells you as you get onto the yacht.

you nod and sit on one of the deck couches, stretching your legs that are unused to so much running. “come on, kiara.” you call to her, noticing she’s still on the dock.

kiara stares at rafe as he heads to the helm, but eventually gets on. “can you get the bowline?” he asks her.

“i, i can’t get it.” kiara calls after a moment. “i need some help.”

you go to stand up but rafe stops you, rushing over to get it undone, not knowing how much time you have. as soon as it’s untied, kiara surges towards rafe, shoving him over the edge.

“kie!” you yell, running to the railing, but kiara stops you.

“us or him.” she says, and you know your answer as you jump overboard to join rafe. there’s no way you’re going to do anything to stop kiara. you understand her need to help her friends and don’t want to stand in the way. you trust rafe to get you off the island another way.

rafe starts yelling at kie as she drives the boat away, but calms down as you swim over to him. “it’s okay, rafe, we’ll figure it out.” you say, swimming towards the ladder on the dock.

“she took away my best opportunity to get you home, princess, you should be mad at her too.” rafe says, climbing out after you.

“she needs to rescue her friends… our friends. they’re mine too.” you’re not sure if they would agree with you, especially after kiara tells them that you’re back with rafe,

“they would hurt you if it meant getting ahead.” rafe says, grabbing your hand to lead you off of the dock. he needs time to formulate a plan, but here is not the place to do it.

you rip your hand out of rafes grip. “as if that isn’t all you’ve done to them. all they try to do is survive, and all you have done so far is take. for greed, as if you already aren’t rich enough. you’ve been terrible to them too. don’t act like everything is their fault and you’re innocent.” “why’d you come back then huh?” rafe asks, stepping close to you so you have to angle your head up to look him in the eye. “why’d you come back if you love those fucking pogues so much.” “i love you, not them. you want to get better? then you need to see the error in your ways. the things youve done wrong, but i am not going to leave you, especially not for them.” “fuck.” rafe groans, leaning his forehead against yours. “you're right. i’m sorry.”

you hear a commotion and pull away suddenly. “we gotta go.” rafe says, retaking your hand in his. you run off the dock and towards the town, hoping to be protected by the crowd.

you eventually find an alleyway that you can at least take the time to dry off in, letting the warm air and bright sun dry your clothes out.

“what’s the plan now, rafe?” you ask.

“you leave it to me, okay honey? i’m gonna figure out some food for you first.” “i can help.” you tell rafe. “i had to figure out how to survive without you, i am not completely incapable.” rafe rubs his eyes. “i know. i’ve just done so much to you already, i don’t want to put you through anything else. i love you, baby.” he kisses your forehead gently before holding you against his chest. you accept the hug, wrapping your arms around his waist while you simply enjoy that moment alone.

“i know you can help but stay here for just a minute, okay? i’m going to go swipe a wallet so we can buy some food. i know you’re hungry.”

there’s no denying that rafe is right, and while you feel bad having him take from a stranger, you really need it. rafe comes back only a few minutes later with a wallet in his hand and someone else’s hat on his head.

“got this for you.” he hands you a hat as well to help cover your face.

“what did you do?” you ask, noticing his bloody knuckles. “rafe-”

“please, don’t judge me for anything i do until you’re back home. i know you want me to get better but i can’t do that if either of us get retaken by mr. singh. okay?” “okay.” you whisper. “so are we getting food now?” “i’ve actually got a better idea.” rafe sticks his arm out for you to take and you accept it, curling your hand around his biceps as he leads you back towards the docks.

“just stand by me and be quiet and smiley okay? you’re my wife, mrs. tompkins.” you realize then that rafe is walking towards a cruise ship. your eyes are wide as you get in line, nervous you’re going to get caught, but you trust rafes charm.

“how you doing boss?” the man asks as rafe slides the hat off his head.

“good. how are you?” rafe asks as he hands over the stolen id, and you give the man the most even smile that you can manage.

“oh, living the dream.” he gives a nod at you. “you got some sun since you took this photo, man. there you go mr. tompkins, mrs tompkins.”

you’re relieved he doesn’t ask to see your id. you give him another smile as rafe leads you up the stairs. “holy fuck, rafe i can’t believe that worked.” “i know, we’re just gonna have to lay low, okay? i have hisvroom key but i’m sure they’re going to find a phone and call soon. we just have to hope that it’s after we reach the next port.”

“thank god.” you sigh as your foot finally lands on north carolina soil.

“we’re home.” rafe kisses your cheek, leading you towards a car that’s going to take you back to your house. rafe has been having people look after it, coming in once a week to clean and make sure nobody has broken in, but you’re only concerned right now about taking a long bath in your own tub and putting on your favorite pair of pajamas.

“i want to spend the next week inside my room.” you say excitedly as you sit down in the back seat of the car, rafe sliding in next to you.

“we can do that, princess.” he smiles, reaching across your body to do up your seatbelt. “i have some things i have to take care of, but you come first.”

“just promise me if you hear anything about john b or the pogues that you’ll help them out if you can. you owe that to them.”

“i will.” he squeezes your hand. “i promise.” you watch the familiar scenery as the car gets closer to your house, letting out a whimper when your own house comes into view. so many memories with your parents there all came flooding back, and you realize that you’re crying when rafe uses his thumb to wipe away your tears before helping you out of the car. he thanks the driver and leads you up the driveway, unlocking the door and then handing you the key, happy that it’s returning to your possession.

“hi mom, hi dad.” you whisper as you look at the picture of them placed on the entryway table. you pick it up and hold it close to your chest, and rafe must understand that you need a moment, waiting until you set the picture back down to lay a hand against your back, guiding you upstairs.

“will you get in with me?” you ask as you turn the bath on, finding everything in the same place it was when rafe called you over that night, except for the laundry that was piling up in your basket is done, you assume put away.

“of course.” rafe helps you concoct your bath, knowing exactly what you like in it. a hefty scoop of epsom salt, some drops of lavender oil, activated coconut charcoal and some organic flowers and herbs that you love to sprinkle in as well.

as the large tub is filling, rafe helps you undress, peeling your tshirt off of you and tossing it onto the floor. he presses a line of kisses across your collarbone before he connects your lips, reaching behind you to take off your bra. your own hands move to the buttons on his shirt, undoing them so you can slide it off his shoulders.

“sit down for me, baby.” rafe says, and you sit down on the stool in the bathroom, letting him kneel down and take off your shoes, carefully untying the laces and then taking your socks off as well. he rubs the sole of your foot with his thumbs for a minute before you stand up to finish undressing. rafe is quick to get himself nude as well as you take off your pants.

rafe slides himself into the bath first, letting you get in between his legs, thankful the tub is large enough to stretch out. you lean your head against his chest, closing your eyes and letting all of the tension out of your body.

“love you so much, my perfect girl.” rafe says, kissing the top of your head. you smile, a real, true smile that feels unfamiliar because of how long it’s been.

you both grow silent, occasionally moving just to readjust. you take rafes hand in yours after a couple minutes, lacing your fingers together.

“rafe… did they clean my parents room?” you ask.

“no.” he shakes his head. “i told them to leave it alone, not even to dust.”

“thank you.” you whisper, closing your eyes and letting the bath soothe your sore muscles. you know eventually you need to venture into their space, but it’s still too fresh for you. you also know that when it is time, you’ll have rafe by your side.

rafe brings his hand up to your shoulders, and you sit up a bit as he massages them, and then down to your back. rafe always takes such good care of you, you see every good thing inside of him that he only lets you view.

you turn around suddenly, pressing your lips against rafes. “you’re not a bad guy.” you tell him.

rafe goes to shake his head, but you stop him. “you’re not a bad guy, rafe. a bad guy would have left me when my parents died and i wasn’t able to get out of bed for a month. a bad guy wouldn’t care so deeply for his family that he’d do anything for them. you’re not a bad guy. i see your heart.”

rafe tugs you onto his lap, holding you close to his body, letting a few tears fall. “i see you.” you whisper, wrapping your arms around him. you stay close until the bathwater starts to cool down. you finally pick your head up and give rafe a gentle smile.

you both get out of the bath and rafe insists on drying you off, gently patting the towel over your arms, torso, and then legs. you quickly blast your hair with a hairdryer just so it isn’t completely wet for bed.

it’s so natural, this routine with rafe. it's almost like the past two months never happened, like your life was never changed forever that night he texted you.

you head into the bedroom, rafe following quickly behind you. you get out your favorite pair of matching pajamas. your parents had a tradition of gifting you pajamas every christmas eve, and it continued all the way up until you were an adult. your favorite pair is now the last pair they will ever get to give you. you hug them close to your chest but don’t put them on yet. while you’ve reconnected with rafe, there’s a way that you haven’t reconnected yet that you’ve been craving, needing to finally feel right again.

“baby, we don’t have to.” rafe says as you set your pajamas down on the nightstand for after.

“i want to rafe. i want you.” you kiss him, pressing your bare body against his.

“if you’re too tired…” rafe begins, even as you feel him swelling against your abdomen.

“i’m not. i promise. i need this rafe.”

“on the bed then, princess.” rafe says. you smile and let yourself fall onto the bed, arranging your head so it’s on the pillows. even though you’ve slept in a bed since you left, there’s nothing like your own. you can practically feel the way it molds into your body.

rafe hovers at the edge of the bed like he’s steadying himself mentally as he looks over your body, the scar on your hip from when you fell on the island bringing a whole new pang of guilt, but he pushes it down, for you.

“my goddamn perfect girl.” rafe says, getting on top of you and kissing your lips, gently at first, before deepening the kiss. you groan when he pulls away after a minute. you could kiss him forever, but he quickly makes up for it by kissing along your jaw, then your neck, taking the time to suck a hickey onto the sensitive skin.

you shiver at the feeling of getting marked by him. rafe continues lower, taking your breasts into his hand as one of his tongues laves over your nipple, hardening it into a stiff peak before sucking it between his lips. here closes his eyes and relishes in the feeling and the taste of your soft skin.

he keeps his tongue against your chest as he switches to the other side, repeating the action on that breast. he takes a second to press his head against your chest, right over your heart. he listens to your heartbeat, the one that he almost lost because of his actions. he turns his head and presses a kiss there. a silent vow. to never put you in harms way again.

he moves lower, laying himself between your legs. he takes a moment to rub his thumb over your scar. it’s just a light pink scrape now, made by a sharp but small rock. rafe kisses it as well. he would kiss every inch of your body if he wasn’t so drawn to between your legs.

he knows he should be more patient. more gentle, but when you spread your legs wider for him, he presses his tongue directly against your core, lapping up every drop of wetness that had gathered. you let out a moan at the sudden feeling, not expecting rafe to dive into your pussy that quickly.

“love this taste.” rafe mumbles before licking over your clit. hes going to take his role as a boyfriend even more seriously after what he put you through. give you every ounce of pleasure that he can, and even that won’t make up for what he did. not in his mind. he will be forever trying to apologize.

“rafe, oh my god.” you moan as he sucks on your clit like it’s his favorite candy before flicking his tongue over it. it’s been so long since you’ve had any action that you know you’re bound to cum too soon, but you have plenty of time to go at it over and over again with rafe now that you’re home.

rafe presses a finger against your entrance, not wanting your hole to feel left out as he pays special attention to your clit. he looks up at you for permission, and you give him a quick nod.

rafe takes your clit back in his mouth as he begins to press in, feeling your tight warmth envelop his digit. he keeps it still inside of you for a moment, not sure how much extra attention and time you will need before taking his cock. you haven’t gone a week without sex since you started dating, it’s certainly different now and he doesn’t want to accidentally put you through any pain.

he waits until your body relaxes completely before he starts to pump his finger inside and out. in an effort to not overwhelm you, he gives your clit a kiss and then turns his attention to your thighs, giving them some love as well. you appreciate the break in the stimulation, knowing you would have cum far too quickly for your liking.

“hows it feel? we can stop.” rafe asks, checking in on you.

“no, don’t stop.” you say, gripping the bed sheets. “add a second finger, please.”

rafe smirks, loving that you’re as desperate for him as he is for you. he is careful about adding a second finger, letting the thumb of his other hand rub over your clit ever so slightly as he does so, that way you stay relaxed.

when he finally gets both fingers pumping inside of you, he can’t resist the urge anymore, licking around his fingers to collect as much of your slick as he can on your tongue. he wasn’t kidding when he said he loves your taste.

“raaafe.” you moan, having resisted the urge to direct him to what you want, but you can’t anymore, taking his head in your hands and guiding his mouth to your clit. you feel rafe smirk against you for the briefest moment before his mouth parts and sucks your bud in between his lips.

you close your eyes, as much as you want to enjoy the sight between your legs, you’re simply in too much pleasure. rafe keeps his sucking soft at first, but he intensifies quickly, needing to be inside of you.

“close!” you warn rafe. it’s all you can do before he has you cumming, hips lifting off the bed as your body shakes, muscles tightening as he continues to pump his fingers through your orgasm. stars shine in your eyes as you blink them open, looking down as rafe gives your clit a few more kitten licks.

“are you ready for me?” rafe asks. you wanted to ride him originally, but your body is so blissed out you know you’re not capable of it.

“ready, rafe.” you say with a nod. he drapes himself over your body, sliding his cock over your soaked pussy, coating himself in your juices.

“shh.” rafe tells you when you let out a whine, wanting him to hurry up. “be patient pretty baby.”

fuck patience, you think to yourself, reaching down and taking rafes thick cock in your hand, pressing the head against your entrance. he takes over from there, your hand dropping away as he presses inside of you. you moan at the feeling of pure togetherness. rafe lets out a deep moan as he pushes all the way in.

“just… hang on for a sec, babe.” rafe says, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths as he controls his sudden urge to immediately cum, but he knows he has to give you your pleasure first.

you accept rafes kiss when he bends down to connect your lip, letting out a sudden moan when he begins to move, thrusting in and out of you at a rapid pace.

“fuck, yes, yes.” you cry out. you grip onto rafes shoulders, hoping you don’t hurt him as you squeeze tightly, needing to hold onto him as his hips press into yours.

rafe lets out a series of moans as you tighten your pussy around him. you’re so sensitive, the way he is hitting your clit with every thrust.

rafe presses his lips to your neck, more using it as a block for his constant moans than to actually kiss it. you close your eyes, relaxing into the feeling, the feeling of being joined together with rafe, of seeking pleasure in each others bodies.

“gonna take care of you babygirl.” rafe says, and you know he means more than just bring you to your orgasm.

“never gonna hurt you ever again.” the intensity of his thrusts increase, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

“never gonna let anyone else hurt you ever again.” he gives your neck a nip with his teeth. “you’re mine.” a hard thrust. “you’re mine to protect.”

he brings his head up so he can connect your lips together, letting all of his passion and frustration out in your kiss. “you’re mine to love.”

“i love you, rafey.” you tell him. you never want to stop telling him.

“i love you, baby.” rafe says, wrapping his arms around your waist as his thrusts increase, pressing so deep and hard into your body that you feel like you’re splitting open.

you drop a hand to rub at your clit when you feel his cock start to pulse, signaling that he’s close.

“cum in me.” you ask rafe. you haven’t been able to take your birth control, but you’ll have him run out and get you a plan b in the morning. you need to feel him fill you up.

“are you sure?” rafe asks, face straining and veins popping as he holds back his quickly incoming orgasm until you give a nod of approval. rafe explodes in a burst, letting out loud moans and grunts as he rocks his hips into yours. the second you feel his warm cum, you also cum, fingers rubbing aggressively over your clit as it pulses, sending shocks of pleasure over your body.

you come down from your orgasm together, rafe slowing his hips and the eventually pulling out, smiling as he watches his cum start to drip out of your pussy, but he cleans it with a towel on your bedside table before it can get the sheets anymore dirty.

“want me to clean you up?” rafe asks as you stretch, knowing you need to go pee.

“i can do it.” you kiss rafe gently before heading into the bathroom. once you’ve taken care of your business you head back out, giggling at rafe already having his eyes closed and head against the pillow. you pull on your christmas pajamas before laying down next to him.

rafe tugs you tight to his body, letting you rest your head against his chest. “i love you rafe.” you tilt your head so you can kiss his bare skin. “thank you for getting me home.”

“i love you more, princess.”

406 notes · View notes

niki-phoria · 15 days

Note

Hello! It's one of my first times asking for something, so forgive me if it seems strange or if I spell something wrong! Feel free to ignore this too!

I was looking at your Jjk list and realized that our beautiful boy Yuuji doesn't have a story there yet, so I had an idea!

something like Itadori and Reader (gn or male) were in a fight together, and Sukuna ends up appering to deal with the whole situation, and as a result, he ends up hurting the reader on purpose to bother Yuuji, so he is left feeling very bad and guilty , so ends up “ignoring” reader, because he keep blaming himself

I only thought until this part (srry), I would like an ending with something cute and fluff ig? 👉👈 (i like angst with a happy ending)

WEREN'T WE THE STARS IN HEAVEN?

pairing: itadori yuuji x gn!reader (no pronouns used) genre: angst word count: 758

warnings: graphic descriptions of violence, mentions of blood, poorly written fight scene

notes: thank you so much !! i hope you like it :)) split this into two parts to make it easier to write lol, possibly ooc sukuna but i did my best, title from adrianne lenker - anything

part 02 here !!

shibuya is empty. desolate, even. eerily so. even after spending only a few months in tokyo, ITADORI YUUJI had grown accustomed to the noise. the bustling crowds and noisy tourists had become commonplace - almost a comfort at the end of a long night. if nothing else, at least the people were safe.

until they weren’t.

your lungs burn as you race through the remains of shibuya station. the walls are splattered with a mixture of blood and curse remains. there are no longer complaints from people about being trapped inside of the station. there are no longer stray groans from mahito’s transformed humans. there are no longer screams of terror.

you feel sick.

you force yourself to run faster when you see a figure standing in the distance, near what remains of the bathrooms. water seeps across the tiles from nearby, probably damaged in the midst of a fight. “yuuji!”

he doesn’t have a visible reaction. your footsteps slow to a stop as you take in the sight of him. his clothes are ripped and tattered but there are no visible injuries on his body. beneath the flickering lights above, you can just barely make out the blood stains littering his clothing.

“yuuji?”

he turns to face you, smirking over his shoulder. you take a step backwards, shoes slipping on a puddle of water on the floor. there’s a dark glint in his eyes - one that you’ve never seen before. “not anymore.”

“sukuna,” your breath hitches.

he frowns, mockingly pouting as he begins walking towards you. “that’s not how you should address your lord.”

anger flares in your chest. your hands curl into fists, nails digging into your palms. you grit your teeth, aiming towards sukuna’s jaw as you swing.

he evades it easily, languidly pushing his hands into his pockets. “i’m hurt, y/n,” he mocks. “i can’t believe you would hit your own boyfriend.”

“shut up!” another swing. another miss.

sukuna laughs. he watches you with amusement; like you’re an ant beneath his foot he’s pushing around just for the sake of his own entertainment.

he’s fast. almost faster than your own reflexes. your punches only ever meet air as he dances around you. “does it bother you?” sukuna asks. his breath ghosts against your ear as he leans in. “knowing that yuuji’s power comes from a curse. does it scare you?”

you swallow your insults, instead focusing your attention on aiming your punches at the right time. he frowns. “ignoring me now? that won’t do.”

sukuna raises his leg, swiftly landing a hit against your side. you’re barely given time to react before your body slams into the wall.

the pain comes hard and fast. it’s agonizing. it feels like you’re on fire. every part of your body begs you to give up; to lay down and crumble into a ball on the ground. but you can’t. you won’t.

blood pools in your mouth, dripping down the corners of your lips. debris surrounds you. you can feel pieces of rock and concrete digging into your hands as you push yourself up onto your hands and knees.

your attempts are quickly ripped away when sukuna kicks your side once again. you land on your back this time, staring up at the ceiling through blurry vision. your head aches.

“pathetic human.” sukuna smirks over you. the heel of his boot digs into your chest, pushing your body down further into the rubble. your eyes flutter shut. if you’re going to die, you’re not going to give sukuna ryomen the satisfaction of being the last thing you see.

the force of sukuna’s weight forces a weak cough out of your lungs. he raises his foot once again before he pauses, humming to himself. “i wonder what the brat would think of this.”

time seems to still as your consciousness begins to slip. you can feel yourself growing weaker. your breaths are shallower. it’s harder to get air into your lungs. your racing heartbeat has also slowed. it no longer pounds loudly in your ears. instead, a dull ringing has replaced the noise.

nothing feels real. yuuji is yelling your name. he’s on his knees; his face hovers over you.

yuuji looks different. the black marks across his skin have disappeared, leaving only pale skin behind. hands that have the power to snap bones and destroy buildings are gentle as they cup your cheeks. he wipes away blood and dust and tears.

“yuuji,” you whisper. at least, you try to. and then-

the world goes black.

shibuya is empty.

taglist (open! send an ask/dm to be added): @sunoooism @vamxpi @sad-darksoul @kamote-kuneho

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daughterofthequeen · 4 months

Text

A New Diagnosis

Pairing: Joel Miller x autistic daughter!reader

Summary: I have an idea. Joel Miller x daughter!reader, based in the camps they had everyone in after the outbreak(so a couple days after Sarah’s death technically) and the reader is a high functioning autistic who stims. So when they get to the camp and because of all the stress she has been under, it’s causing her stimming to flare up like crazy. So Joel and Tommy had to beg and plead to the soldiers, trying to let them know she is autistic and she wasn’t infected, that she just can’t control her stims.

Warnings: Angst, crying, cussing, stimming(not really a warning but its in the story), overstimulated meltdown, denial, most likely inaccurate chain of command about construction work or construction jobs in general, might be a little ooc Joel in one scene I’m not completely sure but it feels like it and I hate it😠😤.

A/N: the reader symptoms and preferences are based on my own, which is also where this idea came from. Ever since the show came out I just wondered what did they do to the people with ticks and stims at the beginning of the outbreak. I mean they eventually had to come up with a way to tell a difference in the beginning of the outbreak before they had the infection detector things, right?

I honestly might rewrite this because I don’t know if I like how this turned out. Usually I’m pretty good at picturing what characters would say in a certain situation, but there’s one part of the fic that I’m not so sure about( you’ll know it when you read it I’m sure). But it’s crazy because I’ve been living like this since the ages of 4 or 5 and it still extremely difficult to describe stimming, even harder writing about it. But I wish I had a Joel Miller parent so I guess I’m projecting a bit in this fic. And this may also be longest fic yet.

So I decided to make this into two parts because I want this posted today because it was supposed to be out yesterday and I don’t want to wait any longer.

Mockingbird (Part 2)

Taglist: @miss-celestial-being @ilovemydinoboi @taraiel @distorted-twink @geralallfandoms @your-shifting-gurl @daemontargaryenwhore @mihstar

What started out as a regular day went to hell in the span of a couple hours. I mean homes being set on fire, families separated, innocents slaughtered due to the fear of a sickness they had no cure for. But I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I? Let’s start from the beginning. My name is (Y/n) Miller, and this is the story of how everything went to shit.

I was only 4.

As a kid you’re oblivious to almost everything, but sometimes a child’s behavior can reflect the type of day the family will have whether they realize it or not. And my attitude had been off all that week, until my father’s birthday aka outbreak day. I called it the calm before the storm. That week I was in an overall bad mood. All of my senses had been on high, being overstimulated plus the struggle of always being alone in school. I mean don’t get me wrong I use to talk to some of my classmates, but most likely than not I would’ve been playing by myself either from trying to avoid the bullies or because nobody wanted to play with me in general. But hey, you can’t miss what you’ve never had. I never really understood people, I still don’t but I had my family and they always made everything okay. They never made me feel different about myself. Regardless of me being only four, I understood that the repetitive behaviors were definitely not normal. Along with the what I now know as stimming; physical, vocal, scripting, ticking, etc. I could go on and on about everything that makes me different, but my family had always helped me feel normal. To be honest I didn’t start realizing I was doing all that stuff until one day my dad sat me down and asked me ‘what are you doing’ and ‘are you okay?’, which made me more self-aware. And then there was school, the weird looks and the mean jokes came into play. I’ve rarely caught my family staring, but I knew they were. Growing up and remembering the past helps you realize things you might’ve missed or didn’t understand as a kid. Like the concerned/confused stares I would catch my dad or uncle Tommy giving me before I was diagnosed. I just didn’t know what the looks were for. But the day my father finally decided something was indeed wrong, that it wasn’t just a phase, had him making an appointment to my clinic fast. It was the first time my stimming caused me serious pain. Well, from what I can remember anyway.

July 23, 2002 - Austin,Texas (Y/n is 3 years old)

The day started out like any other. I woke up in my sister’s bed, once I got my bearings I got out of the bed and headed down stairs to see my dad and my sister having one of their many daily debates

“I’m just saying your generations music has nothing on ours- (Y/N)!” After hearing Sarah saying your name, Joel turned around seeing you standing in the kitchen doorway rubbing your eye.

“Hey babygirl. Did you have a good sleep?” He asked as he turned off the stove top and went to pick you up.

“Mhm. I’m hungry, daddy.”

“That’s good because I just cooked your favorite breakfast.” He said as he kissed your cheek and sat you down in the chair across from Sarah, who got the two of you orange juice. Joel then went to grab the plates. There were eggs, sausage, french toast, and he sat a bowl of grapes next to you knowing how much you love them. You all started eating your breakfast. You went straight for the grapes and started eating them, until you spotted something that looked weird to you. Frowning, you push the bowl away and went to the food on your plate.

“Something wrong with your grapes?” Joel asked you noticing the way you frowned up.

“They dirty daddy.” Causing Joel to frown in confusion.

“Dirty? I just washed ‘em.” Joel leaned forward and grabbed the bowl and didn’t see anything abnormal about the grapes. The water in the bowl didn’t even black specs in it that grapes leave behind. “They look fine to me.”

“No. They dirty daddy, look.” Standing in your chair, you leaned over and pointed to a grape with a light brown streak on it and another where it was brown from where the stem was.

“Oh, that doesn’t mean they’re dirty, baby. Grapes just to look like that sometimes or because they’ve gotten older. That’s all.”

“Ew.” You mumbled.

“They’re gonna taste the same.” Joel said as he sat the bowl back down next to you.

“I don’t want them anymore.” You say pushing the grapes away.

“They’re fine, (n/n). I actually think the small brown areas actually make them sweater.” Sarah says trying to reassure her baby sister.

“No.” That was your final statement before you went back to eating the food on your plate.

“Ok, you don’t have to eat ‘em.” Joel states as him and Sarah go back to eating their own food.

———

“(Y/n)!!! Come back here!”

“No!”

“We go through this every time you use the bathroom!”

Sarah was currently chasing you around the house. A daily thing really, but for the last few months you have determined on not washing your hands after using the bathroom. And not with just Sarah. With Joel and Tommy too. Joel usually would have to keep a firm grip on you that disabled you from moving away from the sink, and to keep you from running or flailing your arms around as an attempt to keep him from making you wash your hands.

The first time that happened you guys were at a restaurant. He would be surprised if that whole side of the restaurant didn’t hear you,

“Daddy, I have to use the bathroom.”

“Ok.” Usually he would have Sarah take you but her and Tommy’s food had made it to the table. And since he was still waiting on his, there was no sense in stopping her from eating. He took you out of the high chair, and you two headed to the restroom. After the long process of putting toilet paper on the seat, he sat you on the seat and let you do your business. Once you were finished cleaning yourself up and him flushing the toilet, he waited for you to go towards the sink. But you headed towards the door instead.

“Don’t forget to wash your hands.” Joel said from his spot on the wall he was leaning on with his arms crossed.

Turning towards the sink, you clasped your hands to your chest, letting out a low groan of disgust.

“What is it?”

“I don’t want to touch it.”

“What the sink?” You nodded.

“You have to wash your hands, babygirl. Come on.”

“No.” You whined, and Joel knew then the two of you were going to have a problem.

“Babygirl, please.” He said in a pleading tone and tired tone.

“No!” Joel sighed then picked you up and held you over the sink as he usually would when washing your hands, but this time due to your decision of fighting and squirming in his arms, he had to get a gentle but firm grip on your hands to wash them himself.

“(Y/n).” That caused you to stop in your tracks. The sound was unfamiliar until your mind put together it was your father’s voice. He never says your actual name unless you were in trouble, and even then it would depend. But him calling your name was enough time for Sarah to scoop you up and head to the nearest sink which was the kitchen.

Sarah sat you down after she finished washing your hands. After getting free you pouted and went into the living room to continue playing with your toys before your bladder interrupted you. So invested in what you were doing, you didn’t even hear your Uncle Tommy come in the house.

“What’s for dinner today?” He teased, rubbing the top of yours and Sarah’s head as he passed by each of you.

“I don’t know you’ll have to ask this guy. He was supposed to go to the store but surprise, he didn’t.” Sarah says with a sarcastic smile towards her father who was going through bills. Joel head turned towards Sarah giving a bored look.

“We’re ordering pizza.”

“Fine with me.” Tommy states triggering Joel to role his eyes.

“Of course it is.”

Sarah went upstairs for the book the two of you were reading. To ‘keep her ahead of her future classmates’. While Sarah was upstairs, Tommy eyes trailed over to you, he smiled as he watched you in your own little world playing with your toys while talking to yourself. He watched you for a minute until he saw you stretching your neck. Normally he would’ve thought nothing of it until he realized it was happening constantly. At first they were only seconds apart, then you would stop for a few minutes and start again. There wasn’t an exact pattern, but he caught the rhythm of it.

“Buns neck been bothering her?”

“No.” Joel answered absentmindedly, still invested in the papers he wished he could use as a coaster without consequence.

“You sure?”

“Yeah I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I be sure?” Joel asked, getting annoyed by the fact he kept getting interrupted with his task.

“ ‘Cause she keeps stretchin’ it like it’s bothering her.”

Joel looks up at Tommy who had a slight worried look on his face. Joel then turns around in his chair to see what his brother was talking about. And true to his little brother’s words there you were stretching your neck and shoulder in a way that looks painful if he’s being honest. Joel turned back around to his brother with an equally concerned look. He leans closer towards him and lowers his voice before he started talking signaling Tommy to do the same.

“I don’t know why she does that, and every time I ask her if she’s ok she tells me she’s fine.”

“Maybe she has a crook in her neck.”

“No, if it was a crook we would know. She would be a lot worse. She tends to panic when she has one of those, and doesn’t do a lot of moving around. To stop the ‘bouncy feeling’. This. This is something else. And it’s been getting more frequent lately.”

“Frequent?”

“Yeah, this started a few months ago. It’ll leave and come back after a few weeks, but like I said it’s been happening a lot more often lately. She does it with her hands and wrist too.”

“Hm.”

Joel turned back towards his youngest. “Babygirl, you okay?” He said in a tone reserved for only you and Sarah when she’s upset about something.

You look up from your toys, bright innocent eyes finding your father’s concerned ones.

“Yeah.”

“You sure? Your neck not bothering you?”

“No.” You replied while standing up from your place on the floor and walked over to your father. When you got close enough he automatically picked you up and sat you on his thigh.

“Then why do you keep rollin’ it around honey?”

“I’m not.” Joel frowned in confusion. He’s clearly watching you do it so, either you’re lying for some unknown reason or you just don’t know that you’re doing it. But he’s always able to tell just by asking one question.

“Are you telling me the truth?” Simple, but it works. It was a question he would ask you every time he would think you were lying. And every time you answer you have a tell. When you tell the truth you tend to answer pretty confidently, but when you lie, you always fiddle with something whether it be your clothes, your fingers, or just bouncing your foot.

“Yes.” There’s no fidgeting. Covering up how even more confused he was in the moment he just nodded in understanding even though he didn’t.

“Ok baby, you want to go back to playin’ with your toys?”

“Yeah.” You replied getting down from your father’s lap before he even had the chance to put you down. Then you ran off to start back playing until Sarah came back down the stairs.

“(N/n), story time.” Hearing that you stood up and headed over to the couch with your sister. Before you sat down you picked up your stuffed bunny, Tommy got it for you when you were two. They used to use it to stop you from crying, but now you take it wherever you go. You laid down across the couch with Sarah and had your bunny in front of you in the same position you were to Sarah. She opened the book to where you two left off and started reading stopping at every few paragraphs to let you read.

Joel watched the two of you, his world. He would never understand how a mother would want to give this up.

“Have you thought about getting her checked out?” Tommy’s voice broke Joel from his thoughts.

“Checked for what?” Joel asked frowning at his brother.

“Joel, are you serious? Something could be wrong.”

“She’s fine, Tommy. She’ll grow out of it.”

“Grow out of it? Don’t you want to make sure?”

“Tommy, please.” Now Joel was lying. To himself especially. But that is understandable, what parent wants to accept that something may be wrong with their child. It was a scary thing to think about.

“What if it’s somethin’ wrong? Wouldn’t you want to get Bun’ the help she needs as soon as possible.”

“She doesn’t need help Tommy. I’m telling you she’ll grow out of it.”

“Joel-”

“Just let it go.” Joel whispered in a hardened tone, trying to keep his voice down so the girls wouldn’t hear that anything was wrong. “Look, would you order the pizza for tonight. I’m trying to finish up these bills.” Tommy mumbled a ‘sure’ and got up to make the call. He understood why Joel didn’t want to talk about that kind of stuff, what parent does? But knowing his stubborn nature he won’t act on it unless something happens that causes him to. After hearing the voice of the pizza lady on the line, Tommy uses it as a distraction to get his mind off his niece and his stubborn mule of a brother.

January 16, 2003 - 6:30am

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

Sarah sat up with a soft groan and stretches, when she heard whining. She turned toward her sister who was hiding under the covers.

“Time to get up (n/n).” Sarah was about to stand up until she heard you cry out. She pulled back the covers to see you in a fertile position, hands covering your ears, eyes squeezed shut. “Come on (n/n), we- what’s wrong?” Sarah asked starting to panic seeing a tear fall from your eye.

“Too loud!” Sarah was confused for a second before she remembered the alarm was still going off. She quickly reached over to turn it off, and brought you into her arms. She laid you on her chest, rocking you back and forth while rubbing the top of your head, and she softly shushed you until you calmed down. When Sarah heard your cries turn into sniffles and looked down at you.

“You okay?” She asked softly rubbing the top of your head. She was confused as to why you reacted this way but, whatever the reason, it had her extremely worried. After seeing you nod your head she was able to relax, but she knew she still needed to tell dad about what just happened. Sarah got you up so, the both of you could start your morning routine. Everything went semi-smoothly, but that’s to be expected after your reaction to the alarm clock she’s not all that shocked about your agitated behavior. Sarah had just finished fixing your shirt when there was a knock on the bedroom door.

“Come in.”

“Hey, you girls almost ready?”

“Yep, we were just about to head down for breakfast.” Sarah stood from her kneeling position in front of you, letting you know that she was finished. And after going to tuck your bunny in bed you walked over to Joel.

“Unfortunately, you two are going to have to eat breakfast at school.” He said as he picked you up.

“Ew, why?” Sarah asked.

“Well your Uncle Tommy called and said there’s been an emergency at the house we’re working on so, when he pulls up we gotta go.” He grabbed your book bag and started down the stairs since you had decided to fall back asleep, not that he blamed you if he could he would have too. A minute later Tommy pulls up and surprisingly the Adlers weren’t outside, then again they were leaving a little earlier than usual. But, either way they didn’t have time to stop and talk. Sarah was dropped off first, then you. And it wasn’t until Sarah sat down in her first period class when she realized she forgot to tell her dad what happened this morning.

———

Time Skip

Normally, when school gets out you would ride home with Denise, due to her daughter going to the same school and Sarah’s school getting out 10 minutes after your school does. Then add another 20-30 minutes of her having to take the school bus then the city bus to get home. When Sarah makes it to the neighborhood she has to pass by Denise house to get to yours which is when she picks you up, but today didn’t work out that way. It started when Joel got a phone call from your school.

Joel and Tommy were currently managing the workers that were doing the framework of the building they were working on. Well Tommy was, Joel was trying to keep calm while talking to the construction manger.

“Look all I’m saying is we should be getting paid more since we’re working more hours than what we were told we would be working, don’t you think.” The construction manger has been going back and forth with Joel for about 10 minutes now, way too long for Joel’s liking.

“No, I don’t. Especially since the reason we’re in this situation is because you guys didn’t do your jobs right in the first place. You’re lucky you’re still gettin’ paid the amount that was agreed upon.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that if you and your guys spent as much time working as you do talking and taking breaks you probably would’ve done your jobs right the first time, and we wouldn’t be in this situation, or behind a day.” The manger didn’t take too kindly to that statement, and Joel was so close to losing his nerve until he was saved by the bell, literally. Right before he was about to tell the construction manager that he can stick it where the sun don’t shine, his phone started ringing.

Joel sighed while taking his phone out of the carrying case to see it was the preschool calling much to his confusion. He didn’t even notice the construction manager was still talking.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take it up with Tommy.” He said while waving him off and answering his phone. “Hello.”

“Mr. Miller.”

“Yeah.”

“This is Elizabeth, (Y/n)’s teacher. We need you to come to the school.” Joel immediately sighs, dragging his hand over his face.

“What’d she do?” He replies in an exhausted tone. He never gets calls from your schools unless it’s to let him know he needed to bring a change of clothes for you. All the preschoolers have to have an extra pair of clothes that’s to be kept in the classroom just in case the kids have an accident or something. But you’ve been acting out a lot lately, and he wouldn’t be surprised if it was for something like that.

“It may be better for you to come up to the school so we can explain it to you face-to-face.” Joel didn’t like the way this was sounding. It was hard for him to pinpoint the emotion that was coming off her voice, which worried him more.

“Okay, I’m on my way.” He sighed while hanging up the phone. He walked over to Tommy who looks like he actually did tell the construction manager to shove it, going off the look on the of their faces. “Tommy, I need you to watch over everything here for a while.”

“What’s goin’ on?”

“That was (Y/n)’s school, they need me to go up there.”

“Is everything okay with bun’?”

“I don’t know her teacher wouldn’t tell me anything. I’m sure she’s fine, she probably just got into it with a kid in her class again.”

“Okay, call me when you find out what’s goin’ on.”

“I will. Alright I’m off, and make sure they actually do their job correctly this time.”

“I got it, go on.”

After that Joel made his way to the truck. Even though he says he’s sure she’s fine, he couldn’t help but worry about you. The tone of your teacher didn’t sound good at all. She sounded worried. And sad? Were you sick? He could deal with a common cold, but your teachers tone indicated something worse than that. And there has been a deadly virus going around the world, it hasn’t made it to America yet at least that’s what they’re telling everyone. But what if it has made it over seas? There’s no cure for it, and what if you had it? That couldn’t happen, to you or Sarah. He wouldn’t know what he would do if he lost one of you. No. Stop. That’s not going to happen. That would never happen. He hates when his mind gets like this, but as a single father the need to protect the two of you is the most important thing to him, and that makes him worry even more because that’s something he can’t ever fail at, and he doesn’t even want to think what’ll happen if he does.

He gets out of the truck and speed walks towards your classroom. He had gotten into his own head, but there’s something inside of him that’s telling him this is as serious as it feels.

“Mr. Miller.” He turns upon hearing his name being called, seeing your teacher standing in the doorway of the office.

“Where is she?” He asks as he makes his way to her. Once he got close enough he realized the tone in her voice wasn’t sadness, but pity? Why would she pity him, and where were you?

“She’s in the principals office. But! But before you go in we should probably explain what happened and why.” She said stopping him from brushing past her.

“What did she get into a fight with another kid or somethin’?” Joel ask impatiently.

“No-”

“Okay, then it can wait.” He moves to fast for her to stop and walks into the principals office to see you sitting in a chair with dried tear stain down your cheeks. He quickly kneeled in front of you gently grasping your hands in his.

“What’s wrong, babygirl. What happened?”

“I wanna go home.” You mumbled

“Ok, you want to tell me why?”

“Mr. Miller, we really need to talk to you.” The principal finally spoke up motioning to the officer hallway. He huffed as he stood up and followed the principal out, but not before he kissed your forehead and told you that he would be back.

“Okay, what’s so important that you had to drag me away from my daughter, who’s been crying? And why is she crying? I swear if that Richardson kid put her hands on her again-” He was annoyed with everyone at this point everyone besides you obviously, he just doesn’t understand why they couldn’t tell him while he comforted his daughter.

“We’re sorry, Mr. Miller. We just didn’t want to make her think that she was in trouble, we just got her to calm down.”

“So, she’s fine?”

“Physically, yes.”

“What? What does that mean?”

“Ms. Elizabeth?” The principal could he was getting upset so she found it best to let your teacher explain what happened.

“Mr. Miller.”

“Would y’all stop calling my damn name and actually tell what the hell’s going on with my daughter?

“Well (Y/n) has been in an agitated mood all day, but that’s not the problem. Uhm, the kids just got back from lunch about 30 to 40 minutes ago, and after they eat I usually let them have play time before I start their last lesson for the day before nap time. Today during play time (Y/n) had a little outburst.” Elizabeth knew she was beating around the bush, but that’s because she has heard this conversation happen many times with other teachers and parents and most often than not the parents don’t respond to well.

“Little outburst?”

“Well not really an outburst, but more of a meltdown. This is the special needs teacher, Ms. Thomson, and a friend of mine so I know what signs to look out for in a child. And (Y/n) has been showing these signs since the beginning of the year. They can be overlooked especially in girls and be seen as ‘normal’ and in a way it is. For her anyway.”

“What are you talking about? Signs for what?” Joel asked in frustrated tone.

Ms. Elizabeth look over at the special needs teacher to nervous to continue, and to make sure that she’s positive of (Y/n)’s condition. To which her friend responded with a nod.

“We think (Y/n) has autism. And before you say anything, the signs are all there. I’ve been watching her since her first day of becoming my student. And we highly recommend that she be tested.”

“What? She’s not autistic. I think I would know if my daughter had autism. Look at her, does she look autistic to you?”

“Autism doesn’t always have a look Mr. Miller, and just because she doesn’t have a physical disablement doesn’t mean she’ll be any less autistic than someone with one. That’s why we recommend getting her tested to find out how far she is on the spectrum.”

“You sound so sure that, that’s what it is. How did y’all come up with autism from her having a ‘meltdown’? And what do you mean by meltdown?”

“Well after I sent the kids to go off and begin playing I noticed (Y/n) hadn’t moved from the table, she just sat there, covering her ears with tears in her eyes. She had been in that position since they came back from lunch. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me the other kids were being too loud. But before I could offer a solution the students behind us started screaming louder than what they were, which triggered somewhat of chain reaction with the rest of the class, so I turned around make sure everything was ok but when I that’s when (Y/n) ran to the bathroom and locked herself in. I had to send the other kids to sit in a classroom with another teacher. (Y/n) was crying. Sobbing. When I unlocked the door she was sitting in the corner squeezing the sides of her head so hard it looked painful. All to try and block out the world because it was too much for her. It broke my heart to see her like that because (Y/n) is sweetest little girl I’ve ever met, and to see her in pain like, any child, it’s a hard thing to see. I had to wrestle with her a little to keep her from hurting herself, but I was able to get her calm enough to sit her in my lap and have her hold onto me while I called Ms. Thomson, who was able to calm her further until she reassociated with everything around her.

“Pain?” That’s when the special needs teacher finally decided to step in and say something.

“It’s called a sensory overload, Mr. Miller. It’s very common in the Autism Spectrum. It’s when someone on the spectrum becomes to overwhelmed with the world around them, and if they can’t find some kind of outlet from everything more than likely it’s going to cause a break down in one way or another.”

“That doesn’t mean she’s autistic-“

“Mr. Miller. Does (Y/n) walk on her tippy toes?

“Yeah, but all babies do that.”

“How does she act when she is in a large crowd or around someone she doesn’t know.” Ms. Thomson was completely calm while asking these questions. Knowing that getting agitated or saying something wrong could keep you from getting the help you need.

“The same as any other kid.”

“Does she get in mood where she doesn’t want to talk or just can’t talk in general?”

“Ok look, you’re only naming things all kids do.”

“Yes, but like every thing else on the spectrum there’s a line where it occurs more than it should. Let me ask you one more question Mr. Miller.

He doesn’t even reply he only took a breath to let her know he didn’t want to talk about the topic anymore. Still in denial, even after everything they just told him.

“Does she tend to twitch, or repeat her movements? Have you ever seen her stiffen or strain her body?” Joel didn’t even reply.

“Your silence speaks volumes Mr. Miller. Please, get her tested. It will help her make it in a society that wasn’t made for her. Giving her benefits she can use to even the playing field with neurotypicals. Don’t you think she deserves that?” Joel really didn’t want to accept this. Knowing that if you are autistic, you’ll face more difficulties in life. All because you were different. Difficulties you’re already facing, he just didn’t want to admit it.

“What do I need do to get her tested?” Joel asked after his little debate. All he can hope that the test comes out as negative, but that’s a long shot, given the special needs teacher already seems so sure, the test was just to confirm it.

Ms. Thomson who was smiling after hearing his agreement answered him. “Nothing, I already have an appointment set up for her with a neurodevelopmental pediatrician, who is also a good friend of mine. So, as soon as she finishes with the evaluation you will get the results. I just needed your approval.”

“Okay. Uh, thank you.”

“No problem.”

“Is it ok if I take her home?” Joel ask looking towards your teacher.

“Yes, I think that’s the best thing for her right now. Being in her safe space with all her things will help her get some much needed rest. I will write down the appointment information and what you’ll need for the evaluation and put it in her backpack for you.”

“Thank you.” After that Joel walked back into the office to see you playing with one of the pens on the principals desk in one hand and your head laying on top of the other. “Hey babygirl. You want to go home?” He asked as he kneeled in front of the chair, while making sure to keep his voice at a low level. Once you nodded he stood up, gently grabbed your hand, and the two of you went to get your bag and appointment information.

January 20, 2003 - 1:00 p.m.

Joel and Tommy were on their lunch break at a burger place when Joel’s phone started ringing. He cleaned his hands and took his phone out it’s carrying case before answering. “Hello?”

“Is this Joel Miller?” A woman’s voice.

“Yeah?”

“Oh, good. This is Tonia, the neurodevelopmental pediatrician that did (Y/n)’s evaluation.”

“Right, so what were the results?”

“Well, the documents are ready for you to come and get them, and I will break everything down once you get here, if you want.”

“Uhhhh yeah, I’ll be there in about 20-25 minutes.”

“Ok, see you then. Bye bye.”

“Bye. Get up Tommy, we gotta go.”

“I’m still eatin’”

“Tommy, bring it with you. Jesus.” Joel mumbled as he rolled his eyes at his younger brother.

They made it to the building, and Joel was doing his best to remember the way to the correct office while also trying to calm his anxious mind. When they made it to the office, Joel knocked on the door frame of the open door before walking in Tonia’s office.

“Here you go.” She said as she handed the papers to Joel who noticed it was about 15 pages.

“Wha-what am I looking at?” He asked looking up at the pediatric who let out a low chuckle, she gets the same reaction from almost all of the parents she encounters.

“Well first things first, I’ve concluded (Y/n) does have ASD. She is what we call a high-functioning autistic, and I came up with that diagnosis based on her teacher’s observations, your own, and from the activities I had her to do. The evaluation explains everything of what that means in detail like her sensitivity to sounds, her not liking to touch certain things, lack of social skills, etcétera.”

“So, what does this mean for her?”

“Well, she can stay in Ms. Elizabeth’s class, there’s no need to move her to the special needs class permanently. But she does have special education, and all that means is that Ms. Thomson will take her in her classroom to help her find ways to calm herself when she feels herself getting overstimulated. Or if she can’t and Ms. Elizabeth sees she is getting overwhelmed or she tells Ms. Elizabeth she’s getting overwhelmed they’ll send her to Ms. Thomson class or a quiet place for her to calm down. And maybe she’ll even have better luck with making friends in the special needs classroom than she does in her regular class. And education wise it means when she gets test she can go to a different classroom to take it and she’ll be able receive more time on any tests she has to take as well.” She looked up from her notes, making sure she got all the main checkpoints, but when she did Joel’s face told her everything she needed to know.

“Mr. Miller, the worst thing you can do for her is to feel bad for her. There’s no reason too.”

“No reason to? The whole point of this was to make sure she gets the help she needs to keep up with everyone else.”

“No, the reason for this was to make sure she had the help if and when she needs it. Academically (Y/n) is one of the smartest kids in her class, actually in her grade. It might take more effort, but she’s keeping up with her classmates. Some of the worst things you can do is pity her, hold her back due to being overprotective, or use it as an excuse to make her seem more fragile. I’m not saying she’s not going to have challenges because she is, but all you have to do is stay beside and make sure she keeps working at it till she gets it. And stay way from describing her condition as ‘slow’ or ‘retarded’. And you can’t punish her because of her stimming or overstimulated behavior. Not saying that you would! I mean- you just wouldn’t believe how many parents would get agitated and angry about things their child can’t control, but I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’re attentive to her, and that’s something she’s going to need from you growing up.” Joel nodded in understanding still skimming through the evaluation packet.

“Thank you for doing this in such short notice.”

“No problem. She’s one of the sweetest kids I’ve met. And cutest.” That caused a smile to appear on Joel’s face. He hasn’t been able to smile much since Thursday, always thinking about you and the whole situation. Which has been weighing on his mind literally 24/7.

“Thank you for this, you have a nice day.” He said before turning around to leave out the office.

“You as well.” She replied also smiling at Tommy, who smiled and winked back, reaching his goal of getting her to laugh.

Joel barely made through the door before Sarah hit him with a “what’d she say?”

“Uhhh- where’s (Y/n)? And how’d you know she called?”

“She called the house phone first. And (Y/n) is upstairs, I just got her out the tub, which she didn’t like, at all.”

“She didn’t want to get out?”

“No, she didn’t want to get in. But she should be finished putting on her pajamas by now.”

“Ok, go get her and I’ll tell y’all the results.”

“Ok.” Sarah ran upstairs to get you, when you both got down stairs and sat on the couch, Sarah sat on the right side of Joel, and he picked you up and sat you on his lap tucking you into his side.

“How was school today, honey.” Joel turning his head towards you.

“Good. Ms. Elizabeth gave me headphones to put on my ears when everything got too loud again.”

“Did she? That was real nice of her.”

“Yeah. How was your day, daddy?”

“It was really good, babygirl. Thank you for asking.” The smile you gave him made his whole day. He thought back to what the pediatrician said about not pitying you because that’s not something you need from him. Looking at you now he realized she was right. He’s going to do his best to give you what you need. Whatever it may be, and he knows you’re going to grow into a smart and beautiful woman. He reached down and kissed your temple getting laugh out of you, a sound he would never get tired of.

Joel turned his towards Sarah, about to ask her how her day went stopped him before he started.

“My day was fine, the same. What did she say?” Joel paused for a second before he chuckled at her before pointing to the where he sat the evaluation.

“That’s the paper, she gave me that explains everything.” He blinked and Sarah had the papers in her hand, while she started reading he turned back to you to explain everything to you somehow.

“Ok babygirl. Do you remember test you had to take with the lady a few days ago?” After you nodded he continued. “You remember she told you it’s going let us know if you think differently than everybody else?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it turns out you do.”

“Is that bad?”

“No! No, no, no. It’s not bad at all, and don’t let anyone tell you that it is. Ok?”

“Ok.”’

“All it means is some things may be a little harder or more overwhelming to you than other people, but it also means better at other things too.”

“Like what?”

“Like being artistic, and solving puzzles. But it also means you can be smarter than others in your class. You may have to learn some things in a different way, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be smarter. You already are. Ms. Elizabeth told me you were one of the smartest people in your grade.”

“She did!?”

“She did.”

“Wow.” You whispered in awe.

“Yeah, that’s a big deal, and daddy is so proud of you. You remember that, ok? No matter how big you get.”

“I promise, daddy.”

“Good. I love you babygirl.” He said, pressing another kiss to your temple.

“I love you too, daddy.” You said placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Awwwww, that’s so sweet. What are we eating for dinner? I’m hungry.” Sarah interrupted and Joel huffed out a laughed placing a quick kiss on her temple as well.

“I’m proud of you too baby.”

“I know, dad.” She said softly smiling.

“How about we go out for dinner? I really don’t feel like cookin’.”

“Fine with me. Come on (Y/n), let’s go put some clothes on.”

“Okay!” You said as you jumped up from Joel’s lap and ran off to catch up to your big sister.

A/n: Long story short the story was too long🤭🙇‍♀️😭 so I decided to split it into two parts. I hope you guys enjoy, sorry I took so long. But I love you guys for being patient, I really appreciate it.

#joel miller x autistic!reader #joel miller x platonic!reader #joel miller x daughter!reader #joel miller x reader #hbo tlou #tlou fanfiction #A New Diagnosis #joel miller x autistic!daughter!reader #joel miller x autistic daughter!reader

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cowgurrrl · 1 year

Text

Sweet Jane

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (plus platonic Ellie Williams x fem!reader)

Author’s note: this actually ripped my heart out and made me realize why I don’t write angst

Summary: “If I have children, I hope they live quiet lives. No fires for them. No sickness. No breaking news stories. I hope they die of old age, far from the pages of history books.” - oh, to live unremarkably by Trista Mateer [2.3k]

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, talks of child loss (reader has lost a child) teen pregnancy, tumultuous parent/child relationships, references to a sexual relationship but nothing explicit, reader is a badass because I said so, ANGST

The second you saw her, you knew this was a possibility. You knew it would happen at one point but watched your tongue. You thought it would happen in the middle of a firefight or trying to survive a horde of Infected or some other dangerous situation where you couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of your mouth. It doesn't. It happens on a sunny autumn day while walking away from the ravaged Kansas City. She was trying to show off or prove something to Joel when she tried to run forward without warning. It came out as a gasp as you grabbed her backpack and yanked her back before her foot could slip off the ledge of a cliff. Your heart pounded as you gripped her like you were waiting for her to start falling again. She mumbled a quick sorry before you let her go. She didn't try to run forward again after that.

She waits longer than you expected to ask about it. After you set up camp for the night and cook whatever Joel decided, Ellie looks at you and asks, "who's Jane?" Joel's brows furrow at the question, and your chest tightens. “You called me Jane earlier."

"Jane's my daughter." You catch yourself using the present tense, and grief trickles down your spine like an unpleasant cold shower. Saying that she was your daughter sounds wrong. It's been years now, but you can't make yourself switch. She's still your daughter, even if she's gone. You're still her mom. You'll always be her mom.

"Oh," she gapes, and you nod. You can feel Joel's eyes on you, but you don't look at him. If you do, the words will tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You didn't know." You say, shrugging as if she gave you the wrong directions instead of asking about your kid. She doesn't push the subject anymore, and you eat silently until Ellie crawls into her sleeping bag and falls asleep.

Cicadas' chirps and the fire's crackling fill the space between Joel and you. The stars twinkle as the clouds move in the night sky. It's peaceful. Or it would be, at least, if Joel hadn't been fiddling with his gun for the past twenty minutes. The metal clicking is almost enough to drive you crazy, and you shoot him a look. He freezes and meets your eyes before letting his hands drop.

"Sorry," he says, and you chuckle. He props the gun up next to him and glances around to make sure nothing's decided to sneak close to you.

"I think we're safe," You say.

"For now."

"Joel Miller, ever the optimist."

"It ain't about being optimistic. It's about being smart."

"Right," you shake your head and look at Ellie sleeping in the corner. Her chest rises and falls steadily as she dreams secret dreams. You smile when she snuggles deeper into her sleeping bag and scrunches her nose. "You think she'll be okay?" You ask, meeting his eyes.

"Kids seem to handle these things better."

"Sam was her friend."

"I know." He says. Images of shaky guns, Ellie's screams, and the silence that followed Henry's body hitting the floor replay in your mind in slow motion. You're trying to figure out where it went wrong, when the universe pulled yet another rug out from under you. When you put the two kids to bed, everything was fine, and not even eight hours later, Sam and Henry were dead. How many people will you bury before you get to the Fireflies?

"I'm tired," you admit softly. You can tell by the faraway look in his eyes that he's in his own head, turning things over to look for new details. He's looking for something he missed. "What're you thinking about?" You ask, snapping him out of it, and he shifts uncomfortably.

"You never told me you had a daughter." He finally says, and you nod. You look down at your bootlaces and untie them, so you don't have to look at him.

"It never came up."

"Her name was Jane?" He phrases it like he wasn't listening the first time, but you know he's trying to get you to open up about her.

"Jane Eloise," saying her full name scratches at an unhealed wound deep in your stomach. You think about all the times you shouted those names across the apartment to her. You were always late for school, late for a birthday party, and late for appointments. You're almost positive she would've been late to her own birth if you hadn't been induced. Rushing was the way you lived your life for that decade. You would give anything to be running late with her again. "If I talk about her, I'm gonna cry." You warn.

"That's okay." His voice is so soft, and he's looking at you with those big eyes, and something shifts. You haven't talked about her in years, but something in Joel's demeanor makes you feel safe enough to unlock the door in your brain, holding all her memories.

"I had her when I was sixteen. I was pregnant throughout my sophomore year of high school and had a toddler by the time I went to college. I still don't know how, but I graduated. I was gonna go to med school and start a brand new life, just the two of us. I spent so fucking long studying, but it didn't matter."

"How come I didn't know all this?"

"We agreed to keep our pasts to ourselves when we started," you hesitate—started seeing each other as stress relief and nothing else? Started lying to Tess so you could fuck in alleys in between deals? Started pretending like it meant nothing? "I never thought you'd want to know more than you had to."

"I want to know now," He says like it's the easiest thing in the world. "Did her dad stay around to help you?"

"No, he left the second he got the chance. It was probably for the better, anyway. He was an asshole. I still don't know if he's alive or if he even knows what happened. I don't know if I care enough to find out."

"How old was she when she…" he trails off, the last word dying on his tongue. You swallow around the lump in your throat and take a shaky breath.

"Ten."

"I'm sorry." He says, and you nod. You never knew how to respond to people when they told you they were sorry your kid was dead. You still don't. Nobody tells you about this part in parenting classes.

"We got out on Outbreak Day. Somehow, I kept her alive until I could get her to the QZ nearby. I smuggled there for a few years and made enough money to feed and clothe her. That's better than most people were able to do. I would pick her up from school and walk her home most days but I had a deal with one of my neighbors, Mrs. Carmichael, that if I couldn't pick her up from school, she would. She picked her up a few times, and nothing went wrong. So, when I got caught up in a deal outside the walls one day, I thought it was safe to finish it and be home by dinner," you say, regret washing over you all at once. "Then, Fireflies started dropping bombs. I heard the explosions all the way out there, and I ran back, but it didn't matter. They were both gone."

"When I told my mom I was pregnant, she was furious. She told me that a mother's love is nothing compared to a mother's fury. At least, that was her excuse when she threw me out, but I didn't know if I believed her until that day. After Jane died, I ripped the entire city apart, looking for every single Firefly that had orders to drop bombs that day, and I killed all of them without batting an eye, and it still didn't bring her back. I still woke up every morning and listened for her breathing or the sound of her making cereal in the kitchen. I waited for her to come home every day for years," tears fall from your eyes, and you quickly wipe them away. Joel is clinging to your every word. "I couldn't stay there. My daughter and everyone who could've been responsible for her death was dead, so I came to Boston. Met you and Tess, and that was it."

"That's why you wanted to kill Marlene when we got Ellie." He says, connecting the dots, and you nod.

"I wanted to drop a fucking bomb on her head for what she did. I don't care if that makes me cruel. She killed my kid and called her collateral. Made it seem like she was a part of the cause and not a fucking child just trying to get home from school."

"I get it," he says. You open your mouth to say something about how he could never understand, how nobody ever could, but he beats you to it. "My… Sarah was fourteen," He stumbles over his words. "I wanted to kill the guy who shot her. I didn't care that he was following orders on that day, I wanted him to suffer, but he was already dead."

Joel had a daughter, not much older than yours, and you never talked about either of them. He's one of the only people in the world who can see your pain, the black hole Jane left in you, and show you his matching one. Joel must've been young when he had his daughter, too. Twenty-two, at the very least. How could you have never talked about this?

"What was Sarah like?"

"She was a spitfire and just about the funniest person I've ever known. Smart as hell, too. She was always readin' and telling me everything she learned in school. I never understood half of it, but she loved it," He says, and it's your turn to cling to his every word. His eyes light up as he talks about her. You see now what a good dad he must've been. "Still don't know where she got it from."

"Well, I'd say she got it from her dad. You're smarter than you give yourself credit for." You say, but he shakes his head, refusing the compliment.

"What about Jane? What was she like?" He asks, and you think for a moment. You remember her big brown eyes; how they widened when she was excited about something or glazed over with tears when she was afraid. You remember how her laugh could fill a room. You remember cradling her in your arms when she came into the world and when you found her.

"She was the most beautiful person I've ever met. When she was born, all the nurses would take turns coming into my room to look at her. They couldn't stop telling me how cute she was, and I agreed with them. She was perfect," you smile, remembering how many pictures you took of her tiny face. You had been terrified your entire pregnancy, but the second you saw her, you knew you were meant to be her mom. You felt completely at peace with her, even as young and unprepared as you were.

"She was quiet and curious, but she also had moments where she was loud and careless like kids usually are. I never understood what people meant when they said having kids gave them a whole new idea of what love could be until I had her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me." You say. Joel watches you wipe more tears away before putting his hand on your knee and squeezing. He doesn't say anything, but the look in his eyes tells you everything.

"I wonder if they would've been friends. Our daughters." He thinks aloud.

"I like to think so."

"Me too," he says. He clears his throat, probably trying to bury any emotions this conversation brought up. "She would've loved you."

"You think?" You ask, and he nods.

"You two would've been thick as thieves. Probably conspire against me or somethin'."

"And that's different from now, how?" He laughs at that, and you smile. You put your hand over his and let your thumb trace the contours of his knuckles. Those bruised, scarred, terrifying mountains that have killed and beaten soften under your touch.

You don't say much else for the rest of the night. You just hold his hand and stay awake to protect the girl not much older than your daughters were. The fear, cautious optimism, and sadness that came along with Ellie, that you thought you were alone in feeling doesn't feel as heavy anymore. The black hole Jane left will never be filled, and you will miss her for the rest of your life, but Joel opening up and showing you his similar wound makes you feel less alone.

It makes you wonder if your girls are together somewhere far from all the pain and bloodshed. You wonder if they've secretly conspired to make you two find each other. You wonder what they would think of each other, of the people their parents turned into, of Ellie. It's nice to think they're together, playing silly games while waiting for you.

Not yet, sweet Jane, you think as you look at the stars, and maybe it's a mind trick or exhaustion, but you swear a star winks back at you. Not yet, Mommy, she seems to agree.

💫

#joel and ellie #the last of us #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #the last of us x reader #ellie williams #joel miller the last of us #joel miller angst #sarah miller #tlou angst #i wrote this for me but you can read it too i guess #look for the light

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hxjikonn · 1 year

Note

Hello~! May i request comfort Trey, Jade, Jamil and Silver react with only child reader who said to them "It would be nice if I had an older brother like you!" cuz they feel sooo lonely grow-up alone with parents rarely have time for them T_T

A/N: Hi!! This is such a cute prompt! I made this a platonic!reaction and the the reader is GN! Btw ^^ thx for requesting!

——————————————————————————

Safe with me

☆Staring☆: Trey Clover, Jade Leech, Jamil Viper and Silver

Synopsis: The boys’ reaction to an only child reader who’s never felt the feeling of being protected and cared for because they’ve been alone most of their lives. (GN!Reader)

——————————————————————————

Trey Clover

You were watching and helping him bake, while he told you stories of his little siblings. You listened as talked about their adventures very fondly.

It was nice to hear him talk about the people he cared about, he looked so happy, it made you feel the warmth coming from his words. How he smiled and laughed when he talked about them.

He told you all kinds of stories, about how they’d sneak pastries out to eat from their parent’s store, how he’d scold them when they forget to brush their teeth, and how they’d invade his bed when they get nightmares

You looked at him talking happily about his family, his siblings and how he takes care of them…you wondered what it’d be like to feel that way, without knowing you spoke out loud “I wish I had a brother like you growing up…” you mixed the bowl of icing unaware of the sudden silence

Trey was caught of guard, with what you told him just now, he realized you also told them before about the situation with your family back home, he internally cursed at himself for being insensitive.

Trey stopped what he was doing, he felt bad somehow, it was like something pinched his heart when you spoke those words.

He looked at you and smiled warmly and ruffled your hair, you tilted your head in confusion, not fully aware of the impact of your words.

Ever since then he made sure to check up on you everyday, ask if you ate, if you needed help with school work, and such

When he notices you look upset or if he feels like you don’t feel comfortable in a place/situation. He’ll pat your head and ask what’s wrong

If you don’t feel like talking about it, he doesn’t push you to, what he does as an alternative is tell you he’d bake [insert favorite dessert here] for you

He told Ace and Deuce to tell him when you get sick so he can come visit and take care of you.

He feels pain knowing you grew up most of your life alone, without siblings or parents to care for you as a child and what’s worse is you cant even see them cuz you have no way to go back home

So in Holidays when everyone goes to see their families, he brings you with him. His family treats you like you’re their family too, so when he sees you smiling he feels happy as well.

He knows how to deal with your stubbornness at times because he is the eldest child after all also he deals with Riddle everyday, so this isn’t a new thing for him to deal with.

He scolds, cares, bonds and even banters with you just like how an older brother would, to him you’re one of his little siblings now too.

He wants to make you feel like you have a safe person, someone you can lean on when the world seems like it’s weighing down on you too much.

Thus him standing as an older brother figure, and that means he’s strict with “crushes” and “admirers” too 😭

He also grounds you when he cant win an argument 💀 #TreyOlderBrotherRights

“Y/n, You are grounded!” “WHAT??“ “FOR ‘TIL COLLEGE!” “FOR ‘TIL COLLEGE?!?!” “You heard me. For. ‘Til. College.” “Trey…this is college.” “…”

Jade Leech

Long story short you made a bet with the twins, the prize was embarrassing baby pictures, and you won.

When you got to their room, you expected to see the twins, but the only one who was there was Jade, “Where’s Floyd?” You asked him “Oh, you’re here, Floyd’s on…Clean up duty…” he explained “Right…” you just nodded, no questions asked cuz who knows what type of “Clean up duty” is Floyd performing.

You held out your hand, smug, “My prize please~” Jade laughed, and handed you one picture, it was of them mushing and eating cake as 2 year olds. “Hey no fair! You said picturessss” you emphasized the ‘s’

“I couldn’t find it, Floyd’s side of the room look like a whirlpool hit it…and he has it, although you can go to him at Clean up duty to ask-“ “NO THIS IS FINE!” you quickly cut him of resulting to him chuckling.

He made it up to you by telling you stories about them instead, he told you a lot, from stories of them growing up to him ranting about having to always look after Floyd when they were kids. “We take care of each other, though It’s mostly me that has to do all the responsible things Floyd doesn’t want to do” He added, smiling while he reminisces about their past.

“You’re a great brother Jade.” You complimented looking back at the picture he handed you “Thank you.” He replied “I wish I had a brother like you…” you mumbled staring at the picture. Jade turned his attention to you when he heard that…

Oh boy here we go. He was worried you were about to cry. The always smiling gentleman Jade was now the ‘distressed awkward Jade’

He doesn’t really know how to provide comfort in these situations, usually when someone’s upset he comforts them by telling them ‘it’s gonna be okay’ but in your ‘now way home’ case. IT WAS NOT GONNA BE OKAY.

He was as stiff as a board…just staring at you waiting for a clue on what to do next. But unfortunately for him, you didn’t even notice the situation and continued staring at the picture.

He awkwardly puts a hand in your shoulder and pats it, earning a questioning look on your face.

When you saw him looking like he was being held at a gun point, you giggled and apologized for making him uncomfortable.

The rest of your time together there was mostly prolonged silence. So you gave the picture back to him, thanked him for the stories and left.

He felt bad, no scratch that he felt awful, he tried putting himself in your shoes…what if he didn’t have Floyd? He asked himself. It pained him. When Floyd got home he gave him a hug, the thought was that upsetting for him.

That night he had his eyes closed but he was thinking about you, if he felt that way by just the mere thought of it, how were YOU feeling living it all your life.

He took matters into his own hands and slowly, made himself take on the older brother role for you.

He started taking you and picking you up from class class to class, walking you there and making sure you get there okay.

After awhile Floyd joined in it too, after Jade telling him about what happened. He thought of it, and yeah, it’d be really miserable if Jade wasn’t around if he was in your shoes too.

He made sure you were okay everyday, and no one’s bothering you. If there were he’d let Floyd handle it.

They’d both be the first ones to greet you in your birthday, yeah even before the ghosts or Grimm cuz they’d be secretly sleeping in Ramshackle two days prior 😭

You’re basically an unofficial “Leech” they’d sometimes try to convince you to change your last name so you can be their official little sibling.

Jade would also tell you to take lots of pictures when you three are bonding, whether that be sleepovers, at class, pulling pranks on Azul, he just wants you to feel like you now have not ONE but TWO older brothers

When Teacher’s ask for a parent or guardian when you get in trouble, and Crowly isn’t available, they’ll be the ones to (break you out of detention)come get you.

He’ll teach you how to make a terrarium and how you can take care of it, Floyd would try to drag you out of it, not wanting both of you to be mushroom obsessed but Jade’s force was stronger

Would be strict with your studies. Scolds and Tutors both you and Floyd when you both fail at a subject.

“If Johny has 6 x 3 bottles of dish soap, how much dish soap would he have?” “How much?” “Who the fuck is Johny?” “NO ONE FLOYD, ANSWER THE QUESTION” “Did you say 6 x 3 or 3 x 6?” “*inhales and exhales* Keep it together Jade”

Jamil Viper

You were visiting Jamil’s hometown with the other students, and you have to admit, hot days and cold nights you all were able to enjoy the beauty Scalding Sands had to offer.

You even met Najma, Jamil’s younger sister. You two befriended each other almost immediately, it was nice meeting a friend outside of NRC, Jamil joined in on you two later on.

You watched the two banter and tease each other until it ended up with them shouting at each other in Arabic, though it wasn’t serious, just sibling banter. You three stayed up all night, just doing all sorts of stuff, eventually Najma fell asleep before you and Jamil. You noticed this and pointed it out, Jamil sighed and carried his sister to her room.

Taking her bandana headband off, so as her jewelry and she let her hair down, he tucked her in and made sure to leave a glass of water by her bedside table mumbling a small good night before he walked to leave the room, when he saw you peeking by the door curiously, you hid back when he knew he saw you earning a small laugh from him

He went out and closed the door behind him, meeting you in the hallway “Sorry…” you apologized “No need, you weren’t doing anything wrong” He ruffles your hair a little and walked, you followed behind him

“You probably miss your siblings to huh?” He asked, “I don’t have siblings…It’d be nice if I had a sister like Najma or a brother like you though” you chirped, Mentally he was punching himself in the face for assuming that you had siblings, hearing the sadness in your voice when you answered him made him feel sad too…he walked you to your room and said good night, but he couldn’t stop thinking about what you said the next morning.

He just kept looking your way, just staring until you notice and he looks away. He’s worried, upset, sad, guilty, and he thought what you must’ve went through growing up alone.

He couldn’t stop thinking about it so he told his little sister, she actually punched him though, scolding him for making you feel sad.

She told him to take care of you at NRC too, she was also worried for you and she couldn’t come along with Jamil to bring to comfort and care so she told him to do it.

Jamil agreed, so when you all went back to NRC, suddenly he made you packed lunch everyday, ask how classes went, if you needed any help with subjects and he’d give you small gestures of affection like head pats, cheek pinching, he’d hold your bag for you, etc.

He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable with the sudden actions, so he only did it little by little until you got used to it.

You did ask why though, and he told you that Najma told him to look after you because she’s grown fond of you. The smile you made when he said that made him feel warm.

Like Trey, every holiday, he’d take you back to his hometown so you could spend it there, and so you can see Najma again.

You felt at home, more than in your real home. He was happy you did, he really did think of you as a little sibling now.

Though since you are technically their unofficial sibling, you became the middle ground of their banters and arguments.

“Najma, don’t argue with me you know I’m right.” “Uh no you’re not, If anyone in this room is correct it’s me, like always” “since when?!” “Since ALWAYS” “Y/n who’s right?” “Yeah Y/n tell him how wrong he is” “uhh I’m just gonna… *hides in vase*”

Silver

You were walking around in Diasomnia, when you saw Silver training with Sebek, you kinda just took a seat in the grass and watched them, swords clashing, swift strike and dodges. You were waiting to see who would win the duel when Sebek kicked Silver’s sword out of his hand, he wasn’t aware you were there so he kicked it your way. You couldn’t move either due to how fast it happened

You thought you’d meet your bitter end and die right then and there, you’re eyes were shut getting ready to be stabbed by a sword. But then you didn’t, and you were alive. You looked at your body for any scratches or wounds but there was nothing. You thanked the great 7 for sparing you but then Sebek shouted

“HUMAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?! YOU COULD’VE GOTTEN HURT!!” He yelled and you flinched at the sudden volume of his voice snapping you out of your thoughts, “Don’t yell, they were just watching, besides you kicked it towards them” Silver scolded Sebek and turned to you.

You didn’t even notice he was right infront of you, “Are you okay?” He asked. Then it hit, the realization that he was the one who blocked the sword. You shot up and started scanning him for injuries “Why are you asking me that?! I should be asking you that!” You said panicked, you saw a cut in his arm, it wasn’t deep but it was huge and it was bleeding so you asked Sebek to go get a first aid kit and he did, while you applied pressure to his wound so it wouldn’t bleed too much.

You got patched him up and told him he shouldn’t have jumped in the way like that, but he told you if he didn’t you’d get hurt. You thought that was really cool of him, no really cared for you enough to protect you like that. “You’d make a great older brother Silver” you said, wrapping the bandage around his arm. It surprised him “How can you tell?” He asked, curious.

“Well you know how to use a sword! That’s really cool…” you happily said, “and you protect and take care of people you love…” you added, he smiled “I’m also told that I acted cold around others, who would want me as brother?” He asked “I would…I think it’d be nice….” you mumbled finishing up the bandage on his arm. He felt his heart throb…he remembered you’re an only child, like him…

You helped him back inside and apologized for causing trouble, he was quick to dismiss it and told you that you never meant for it to happen.

He also nudged at Sebek to apologize for yelling at you earlier, since he saw you flinch. Sebek did but you said that it was okay, and bid them both goodbye.

That same day he went inside Lilia’s room, Lilia was surprised so he asked him why he went to his room….He told Lilia to take custody of you while you’re here so he can be your older brother

Lilia was shocked and speechless by Silver’s sudden request. Now he couldn’t help but wonder what was going on inside Silver’s head. So he asked.

Silver explained that he simply wanted to take on the role of being your older brother so he can protect you and that he needs Lilia to adopt you first. Lilia said yes💀

The next day Lilia was announced to be your temporary guardian making Silver your older brother. You were still processing what happened.

But ever since it was official, he made everyone know that you were his little sibling. He’d go to your classes and pick you up, teach you how to use a sword and protected you from people who pick on you.

He’d also come by Ramshackle every night, sometimes sleeping over, cuz he doesn’t wanna leave you all alone there. What if you had nightmares? He wanted to protect you from those too.

He’d always invite you to dinner, mainly because he’d tell Malleus you wanted to cook for them so they can avoid Lilia’s cooking sometimes, but also just because he wants you to spend time with them and feel at home.

It even came to a point where he asked you to transfer to diasomnia so you two can be nearer with each other, you declined and said Crowly was the one to decide that. That was his next mission😭 and he went to Lilia again for help.

“Father help me convince headmaster Crowly to transfer my little sibling here so they can live with us.” “Silver….it’s 4 in the morning….” “Yes I know, we need to start early so we can catch him before he leaves to go somewhere again, come on let’s go.”

A/N: It’s longer than I planned it to be 😭 but if you’re a follower of mine you’ll have to get used to long fics/headcannons/scenarios/reactions 💀 anyways, you know the drill, did not proofread this. Thx for waiting anon🥹♥︎

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x mc #twisted wonderland reaction #trey clover #trey clover x reader #trey clover reaction #jade leech #jade leech x reader #jade leech reaction #jamil viper #jamil viper x reader #jamil viper reaction #twisted wonderland silver #twst silver #twst silver x reader #twisted wonderland silver x reader #twst silver reaction

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lemonlover1110 · 11 months

Text

Baby Steps

Satoru Gojo

[Chapter 21] Officially a Parent

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Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Blood, Childbirth (Doesn't go into details)

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“Please don’t go.” You’re on the verge of tears as you hug Satoru. You don’t understand anything that’s happening but you’re vulnerable, the last thing you need is to be left alone with a complete stranger. Satoru can protect you, you need him by your side. “Please don’t leave me now, Satoru.”

“I’ll be back so fast. I promise. I’ll leave you with someone I trust for a little bit. I’ll be back in no time, and then we’ll get you checked up and go home.” Satoru responds as he hugs you back. He wants nothing but to hold you right now, being worried sick is an understatement. He had no idea where else to look, and he couldn’t eat or sleep just thinking about you and his baby. But he has to take care of Suguru because he can’t let this happen again. He kisses the top of your head, “I promise I’ll be back so fast. Ijichi will take good care of you. Eat something, relax. He has my number if anything happens.”

“Please, Satoru.” Tears stream down your eyes and he wipes them away. He cups your face before pecking your lips. Maybe he isn’t so sure about what he feels, but he knows that he wasn’t worried sick just because you’re pregnant with his baby. He genuinely cares so much about you and maybe… Maybe his care is a deeper sentiment than he thought. He watches as you cry and it brings tears to his eyes as well. He takes off his shades and puts them into his pocket.

“I was worried sick about you. I didn’t know where else to look, I was running out of places. I knew I was running out of time… I knew he wouldn’t harm our baby but… You, I knew he would do something to you.” He begins to cry with you before he pecks your lips. “I have to do something about him, I promise I’ll be right back.”

He walks you to his friend, and introduces you two before he disappears just like that. You’re not understanding anything but you’re not caring about that at all. You feel that same pain from earlier which makes you moan in pain… And right now you’re focused on it because there’s nothing else going around you. Satoru’s friend opens the backseat door for you and you enter because at this point you have nothing to do. You’re in pain and you need to take a seat. It passes after almost a minute.

“Are you hungry? We can eat something while we wait for him.” Ijichi asks, and you shake your head. Suguru forced some food down your throat before going out since he didn’t want you to eat too much at the restaurant. The last thing you are is hungry, especially since for some reason you can’t fathom eating in this heat. You’re hot and sweaty. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

You’re still crying because of everything going on. You’re processing everything that has happened the past six weeks and it’s all so much; you’re glad that right now you’re okay and you know that Satoru will protect you, but with each minute that passes, your priority shifts. At first you try to dismiss the pain but it’s so hard to. When you moan in pain again, Ijichi asks, “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“I’m just having some contractions…” You mutter, trying to play it off as if it isn’t a big deal. He doesn’t realize that it’s a big deal until he actually processes it. His eyes widen and he begins to stutter, unsure of what to say or do. He wasn’t trained for this situation. “It’s fine… Nothing too big. I’ve been having them since this morning. Nothing too painful.”

You attempt to play it off but you’re not sure for how long you’ll be able to, it was uncomfortable before but now it’s getting more and more painful.

“Um– Maybe I should call–” He begins but you cut him off.

“So what do you do, Ijichi? Better yet, what does Satoru do?” You ask, because clearly what you’ve been told has all been a lie. You’re curious to know what the father of your baby does before the baby is born– And it feels like the baby wants to get out very soon. “C’mon, entertain me.”

“Well… I’m sort of like a chauffeur… And Gojo is–” He begins and you moan in pain again. You apologize and tell him to continue. You really need to know what Satoru does. “Are you okay–”

“Just tell me what he does!” You raise your voice again, and you would’ve felt bad if it were at any other moment, but not now.

“He’s a jujutsu sorcerer.” Ijichi answers, and you furrow your eyebrows before you shake your head. What Ijichi said has to be some kind of joke because you had no idea what he’s talking about. What the fuck is a jujutsu sorcerer?

“What the fuck is that? Are you fucking with me?” You’re clearly irritated and he can tell by the tone of your voice. Not only that but also by the way you look at him. “God, can’t believe I’ve been gone for over a month and you’re fucking with me. I know that we don’t know each other but–”

“I’m telling the truth, you just wouldn’t understand.” Ijichi responds, and you roll your eyes. You stand up, your eyes looking around for a bathroom somewhere. You’re in the middle of nowhere.

“How close is the nearest bathroom?” You ask. He’s about to answer about how far away you are from any civilization but just as he opens his mouth, he watches your eyes widen and your jaw drop. He looks down and he sees a liquid that streams down your legs.

“Did you pee yourself?” He questions until it hits him. He pulls out his phone to call Satoru. “Get in the car, I’ll get you to the nearest hospital.”

“Yeah…” You respond as you get into the backseat. Ijichi gets into the driver’s seat, dialing a couple of times before he finally gets a hold of Satoru. Before Satoru can say anything, Ijichi says,

“We’re going to the hospital. Her water broke.”

As much as Satoru would’ve loved to end Suguru’s life right then and there, before he could finish the job, he got Ijichi’s call. Suguru certainly got his warning though, covered in his own blood and barely able to breathe; Satoru didn’t even bother using cursed techniques as he beat the living crap out of Suguru. His rage was enough to protect him and fight Suguru. He isn’t so sure if Suguru will keep on breathing, but Satoru is sure that some fool will try to take care of him.

Satoru doesn’t think about Suguru for too long though, he has other priorities– Like the fact that he’s becoming a father soon. And by that he means in a day or less. He gets to the hospital that you’re at, and checks in before he can finally go to your room. You’re laying down on the bed, watching TV as if everything is okay. Ijichi is sitting in the corner of the room, his arms crossed as he focuses on what you put on the TV.

“I’m here.” Satoru announces since you two are so focused on the TV that you haven’t noticed him walk into the room. Satoru smiles as he walks over to you. He kisses your forehead before he says, “I assume you got the drugs.”

“I did.” You answer. You look at him for a moment. His face looks fine but you look down to see the bloodied knuckles. You look up back at him. “I’m waiting for an explanation.”

“Ijichi, leave and call her parents. Tell them that she’s safe and in the hospital. Then call Kaya.” Satoru orders and Ijichi ends up standing up and walking out of the room. You mute the TV and watch as Satoru takes a seat in the same spot that Ijichi was once before. He takes a deep breath, trying to figure out how he’ll say what he has to say. He isn’t sure if it’s the right moment to say everything… But it’s better to do it now than when the baby is here. “So I… Don’t actually have a corporate job.”

“Yeah, no shit. What do you actually do? Your little friend told me something absurd.” You respond, clearly annoyed. You’re not in the mood to hear anything idiotic– In fact, you’re not in the mood for anything considering you’ll be pushing a baby out of your body soon enough.

“What was it?” He asks, curious to hear what lie Ijichi came up with… Or maybe he just told the truth.

“Jujutsu sorcerer.” You tell him, and he bites down his lip. He isn’t sure how he’s going to explain it, but he has to tell you the truth about him and his job. Before he opens his mouth to speak, he chuckles. “What’s so funny?”

“He’s not… Lying. I am a jujutsu sorcerer.” He says, and you furrow your brows. It has to be some sort of joke but before you can claim that he’s a liar, you’ll ask for some sort of explanation.

“What is that?” You question. He can’t look straight at you. He has to look around you– Somewhere else because the thought of explaining this to you is so embarrassing. He deeply cares about you but right at this moment he really wishes that he would’ve gotten someone that can see curses pregnant.

“Well… I fight to defeat cursed spirits and stuff. It doesn’t make much sense unless you can see them, but you can’t.” He tries to explain but you certainly don’t believe it. Most people don’t believe things that they can’t see, and you certainly can’t see curses. However, you try to understand. He may be telling the truth… But he could also be insane or a pathological liar. Either way, he’ll be in your life for your remaining years because in a few hours, you’ll officially have a child together.

“So are you like… a wizard? I’m sorry, this is all so confusing… and so crazy…” You respond, trying your best to wrap your head around the situation. “I have no idea if you’re telling the truth either.”

“There’s no way that I can show you right now. But I promise I’m telling the truth… For the first time, I am.” He claims, and you end up sighing. You’re about to unmute the TV but first you have to ask,

“Do my parents know about this? Kaya?” You ask, wondering if they’ve been told the same foolish story.

“They do…” Satoru begins before he takes a deep breath. “I did appear from thin Earth to save you, didn’t I? Shouldn’t that be enough?”

“I don’t know… This is all too much right now, Satoru. Nothing is making sense right now… I do want an explanation but something I understand.” You tell him. “I still want to hear who Suguru is though…”

“So Suguru is…”

After he explains everything to you, you ask him to give you a minute. You’re upset that he kept so much from you but you also need a moment to yourself for before you’re not able to any longer. So Satoru sits in the cafeteria of the hospital, just listening to the gossip that everyone says. It soothes him, considering he’s panicking since he’s almost a father. Most of the gossip is too dramatic for his liking– Only thing he found funny was hearing how a nurse blew up a microwave in the breakroom which earned a low chuckle from him.

Ijichi tries to approach him, but Satoru dismisses him. Satoru doesn’t know for how long he’s sat down in the cafeteria, he just sees people walk by, completely losing track of time. Until Ijichi approaches him again, “It’s time.”

“Huh?” Satoru furrows his brows as he looks up at Ijichi. Then it hits him. Satoru bolts out of his chair, and he runs to the delivery room to be by your side. His mind is hazy as it all happens. You’re squeezing his hand so hard, screaming.

He’s really out of it. He isn’t processing what’s happening. Time feels so slow yet so fast. God, he knew this day would come but just not today. He just got you back, and here you are. He’s blocking out what the doctor says, and it must be important but Satoru is just so out of it.

He’s out of it until he hears it– His son’s first cries. The biggest smile comes to his lips, as tears flood his eyes. They begin to stream down his cheeks as he hears the cries. He cuts the umbilical cord and he tries to get a good look at his son, but the tears that cover his vision make it hard to. He just can’t believe it.

He’s officially a father.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #anime #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojou satoru x you #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #gojou satoru x reader #satoru gojo #jujutsu gojo #gojo fanfic #gojo x y/n #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo saturo

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milksuu · 6 months

Note

i need Phel w like… a bad bitch reader… the kinda girl her fans would ask her to step on them… and i need him to be completely whipped and submissive for her

❥ prompt: So, here Aphelios was. Dragged to some grungy underground concert by Kayn. And since Ezreal was sick, guess that made him the stand in. He thought he was going to be bored out of his mind. He didn't realize he'd end up being a fanboy---your fanboy. ❥ content/warnings: nsfw 18+, minor blood, BDSM, name calling, bullying (affectionate), lotsa profanity, dom!reader ❥ characters/pairings: Heartsteel!aphelios x badbitch!f!reader, aphelios & kayn ❥ performance song in this fic: Playground (From the Arcane League of Legends Series) - Bea Miller

"What the fuck are you looking at?"

That was one way to start a conversation, Aphelios thought. Usually, when a girl approached him, they were overly friendly and tooth-rottlingly sweet. To a sickening point at times. Too much was overwhelming for him, and he often got migraines from those interactions. He disliked the feeling of needing to reciprocate with the same intensity and niceties. He wasn't like Ezreal, who could entertain for hours with a charming smile and endless conversation. But this was the first time any girl cursed him out within the first millisecond of an exchange. Honestly, it was refreshing. And honestly, he kind of liked it.

He took a moment to look over his shoulder to check if, by chance, you were talking to someone else. He figured he was the only one out in the alleyway. And because of that, he couldn't recall staring at anyone. Although, he did tend to have a bad habit of 'resting bitch face'. Especially whenever he stared off into space. Just so happened to be in your general direction. He wasn't sure whether to call it bad luck or bad timing. Like the whole 'wrong place wrong time' situation. Either way, it was obvious his face and mere existence was pissing you off.

"I'm talking to you, dumbass. You with the stupid fucking headphones at a concert." Flicking your cigarette away, you encroached into his personal space. It forced him against a wall, with you mere inches away from his face. He could smell the burning smoke on your breath, lingering with a hint of spice and clove. "You got a problem, or what? If you do, then say it to my damn face."

That was comical. How could he tell you? Let's see, he reached to take his phone out. You scuffed and snatched it from his hands. "What the hell are you going to do? Call your mommy to come help you?" You mocked him by dangling his cell in his face. So much for that idea. Now what was he supposed to do? He needed to create some distance. Catch you off guard, and for you to react accordingly. Well, with all things considered. He tugged down his mask, and captured your lips. Red ignited your vision. You sank your canines viscously into his bottom lip and smashed his phone against his chest. He tasted liquid metal on his tongue, and felt the reset of his diaphragm. It took a deathly minute for him to fill his chest with air. He swore even if he could talk, that stunt would've shut him up for life. So, yeah. More or less what he expected.

"You sick freak." With a hiss, you spat a mixture of saliva and blood at his shoe. He watched you storm off, fading back into the dark venue and strobing lights. Leaving him with iron in his mouth, yearning for oxygen, and his heart recklessly pounding inside him. And holy shit, did he want more of it.

"What the hell. Did something happen out there?" When he returned Kayn took hold of his shoulder, and spoke at the side of his face. "There's blood on your mask. Do I need to kick somebody's ass here?" Aphelios didn't consider how badly his lip had been busted by your teeth. The pain was subtle compared to the wild thrill he received. And whenever he felt the sting with a brush of his tongue, the thought of you only came to mind. He shook his head, pantomiming how he bit into his own lip by accident. Kayn scrunched his face, but accepted the excuse by taking a long swig of his drink. When the lights dimmed, Kayn smacked at his chest excitedly. Aphelios almost bent over from the aching bruise you left against his sternum. "It's happening. LET'S FUCKING GO!"

The crowd shook the warehouse with roars. Fog spilled across the stage. Red lights poured down. And there you were. Like Hell's chosen ascendent, bound in black leather and succubus fashion. Your voice induced a hypnotism. The lights strobing with each bass beat of your song. The crowd spellbound, wailing and screaming for you to salvage them. But you were their obvious harbinger who would drag them straight to the pits of the underworld. Where they could never escape you. Forever trapped in your playground. And that's exactly where he wanted to be.

Going wide-eyed, Aphelios felt you within in his pulse. His bottom lip throbbing endlessly. He wasn't expecting to have a good time. He wasn't expecting you. He watched as you strutted to the end of the stage, planting your eight-inch heels against the faces of a few audiences members begging to be crushed. He could tell you had no problem delivering them pain, just as you did with him. He never understood the sensation, until tonight.

When the song ended, the crowd settled down for you to say a few words. Swinging your hair out of your mascaraed lashes, you took a swig from your water bottle. "You know guys. I love that you're all here. Thanks for coming out to see me. Feels awesome, really." You breathed heavily into the microphone. "But there's one person I want to give a special shout out to—for being an absolute fucking dickhead. Lights. Over there. Please and thank you." With a snap of your fingers, you pointed straight out into the crowd. Apehlios might as well had a gun pointed to his head. That finger burned a straight hole into his forehead. A spotlight swung over him, until it beamed down like his final day of reckoning.

Kayn snapped his neck going back and forth between you two. He then snatched his elbow, shaking him ruthlessly. "Wait. You're telling me I have to kick her ass? You know—my future fucking girlfriend?" Aphelios noticed there were a lot of fucks to be had with him tonight.

"Yeah. You. Still wearing those dumbass headphones. Tell your pink-haired girlfriend he can't save you. Because your mine after the show tonight." You signaled for the next song to come on, and the crowd went into a tidal wave of screams and wails.

"How the hell am I the girlfriend!?" Kayn yelled into the abyss of concert noise. "And what does my future wife want with you!?" Aphelios merely shrugged. But when his bottom lip pulsed again....he knew exactly what he was getting from you.

"Since you felt like you had the balls to kiss me, I should take them from you. See you try pulling that shit again."

That was one way to flirt with him, Aphelios thought. And he was being liberal with the definition. Threats against his privates never appealed to him before. But when those threats poured from your lips, they sounded like all the things he ever wanted to hear in his whole damn life. Up till now, everything felt rehearsed, repetitive, predictable-- mind numbingly boring. But with you, that wasn't going to be the case. That was obvious by his placement in your hotel room. Hands secured above his head, back arched, and wrists bound by leather stirrups hanging from the ceiling.

"You have one of the bitchiest faces I've ever seen. Bitchier than mine, maybe." The room was dark. He carefully eyed your silhouette approaching him. Aphelios swallowed hard when your hand took his balls in a choke hold. "Let's see how long it takes for me to break it. And if I can't..." With a quick release, you ran the length of a finger up his stiffening shaft. "I'll let you fuck me. Deal?"

Aphelios shuddered an exhale, nodding slowly. This was going to be the hardest thing he'd ever have to pull off...no pun intended. Assessing his own threshold, he knew he might not make it. But to any dog, a treat was still a treat. And he would take what he could get get. Or in this case, earn.

"I'll tell you how this is going to work." Your fingers left his tip, trialed up his stomach, till they rested in the middle of his bare chest. "If you want to tap out, make this sign with your left hand. Got it?" You singed one hand, while the other pressed into that lovely bruise you gifted him in the alleyway. The ache elicited a soft groan. "I asked if you got it." You pressed harder for confirmation. With a rattle in his restraints, he made the gesture. "Good. Looks like you're not a total dumbass."

Abandoning him briefly, he heard something crack in the dark. The scent of leather permeating the hotel air. He felt the material grace his back side, fluttering to his ass. One tap. Two tap. This was his only and final warning. If he wanted out, now was the time. He furrowed his brow, and licked his aching bottom lip. No—he wanted this. A whip to the air and the first strike landed. His whole body contracted as he held back a gasp. Settling to a low groan, it wasn't long till the next one came, then the next, and the next. Every strike hitting and harder. The crop whistling in his ears each time it came for his bare ass and thighs. His breaths turned sharp, sweat accumulated against his pale skin, and his fingers scratched the insides of his palms. After the 50th strike, his ass and thighs were on fire. But all those hormones produced to cope with the pain began to inch him into a subspace he had never reached before. Not to mention, all the hand strokes and squeezes to his dick in between the pain— it was absolutely mind fucking.

"Wow. I'm impressed. You've lasted longer than any of my other toys. You really are a sick freak." Arousal mixed with your half-talk and half-laughter. This was the first time anyone has earned you. And now, you were going to make him wish he'd never met you. "Are you ready to fuck the cum right out of you?"

Holy shit. Thank God he couldn't talk. Nothing would be making sense if he could. Wait, what did you ask him again? No, seriously. He couldn't think straight. The excessive amounts of oxytocin pumping into his brain diluted all his thoughts. When he didn't respond right away, you snatched his face, digging your nails into his cheeks. "I asked you a question, dumbass." That was quickly becoming his favorite insult. You dragged your lips, tongue and teeth across his busted lip. Hypersensitive at this point, that was almost enough to send him. Focus—shit—okay. He remembered, and nodded desperately between your breathy open-mouthed kisses.

He was lucky the bed was behind him. Once he was freed from his restraints, it didn't take much but a finger push from you for him to collapse back. The cold comforters contrasted his burning skin, almost like he dived into an ice bath. He really had this sense he was burning up. Woozy from all the endorphins and adrenaline pumping through him, all the way down to his twitching cock—begging for release. But he felt stuck in a bodily stasis, an erotic paralysis. All he could do was stare up at the melting ceiling, panting for breaths. "You're not fucking anything like this. Awe, what a shame." There was no remorse in your wicked smile as you removed your undergarments. "Deals off. Looks like I'm fucking you instead." He barely processed the meaning of your words until you straddled on top, pushed one of his thighs up, and plunged yourself down on him.

The shock of you taking his whole cock in one swift motion made him choke out a cry of ecstasy. Each of your thrusts were splitting him in two; one of pain and pleasure. His ass and thighs stinging and swelling with heat form all the welts you left on his skin. Rubbing against the cotton covers, rubbing against you. His dick swallowed and squeezed by your pounding cunt, over and over again. With the sound of your drenched pussy slapping hard against his base. He was dragged to an intoxicating edge. To a point where his eyes glossed over pleadingly, his face flushed and saliva streamed from the corners of his trembling mouth. "There it is. Finally broke that bitchy face of yours," he heard you moan, mocking how much of a shameful mess he was.

One more forceful slam of your tight warmth, and pleasure ripped through him, tearing him into unmendable pieces. Every single vein within his body tightened and coiled. Flushing all his insides hot and white. His cock pulsed and throbbed so deep inside you. He cried against his moans, heaving and shuddering. He prayed he would make it through his climax. Lucky for him, he did. Unlucky for him, you weren't finished, and were milking him for all he was worth. The tip of his dick feeling like pins a needles, forcing his back to arch and buck his hip against the extreme sensation. He vaguely heard you curse him out one more time as your walls clamped around him, pushing some of his load down his shaft and onto his pelvis. When the two of you settled, he shivered as you pulled yourself out and reached over him to take something from the nightstand.

"So—" You started, lighting a smoke and taking a long drag. The scent of clove and spice filling the space. "You free or what next week?" Well, that was one way to ask him on a date, Aphelios thought. Not that he needed much convincing to free up his schedule. He considered himself a fanboy—your fanboy.

an: you wanted a bad bitch anon, you got her. thanks for the req. MWUAH.

#heartsteel #heartsteel x reader #aphelios #aphelios x reader #league of legends #reader insert #x reader #request #reqs open #istg all of you in my inbox want to dom this man #yall are aphelios dommy mommys #dont you dare lie to me #look what youve done to this poor boy #GO TO CHURCH

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