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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

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Realignment

Prompt: I love when Remus is a lot smarter than he lets on, so I’d love a prompt where Logan is overworking himself and not taking care of himself and one tic of the clock away from either passing out or having a full on mental breakdown (not the type you can recover from in a day). Remus notices the little signs Logan shows, and hears the intrusive thoughts Logan has. Remus really becomes concerned when Logan’s intrusive thoughts start to involve taking breaks, going to eat properly rather than inhaling granola bars, and even sleeping. Remus storms in and is like “Logan tf????” Then gets hella soft once he realizes the state Logan is in

Thank you for the prompts, babe! I liked this one the best so I picked it.

GUYS PLEASE VIEW THIS AS A C H E C K P O I N T if you've been scrolling for a while (and you probably have) pause here! drink water! get food! walk around the room for a little bit! stretch! do something please! you are very important to me and I care about you very deeply!

Read on Ao3

Warnings: discussions of self-harm, nothing explicit, some self-destructive tendencies and behaviors.

Pairings: focus on intrulogical, background LAMP, DLAMP, DLAMPR, can be platonic or romantic i don’t care

Word Count: 2410

Realignment: to align again.

Realignment: to reorganize or make new groupings of.

* * *

Remus hears a lot of weird shit.

The problem arises when the shit he starts to hear isn't weird at all.

Remus hears a lot of weird shit.

The more appropriate definition would be ‘fucked up like you wouldn’t fucking believe,’ but one of us has a problem with particularly strong language and shit doesn’t have to be censored in a lot of media anymore. Which is so convenient! For some of us!

It’s fucking great.

Anyway. Point being. Fucked up shit.

Intrusive thoughts literally fall under his purview. It’s the fun stuff! The stuff you don’t wanna think about that makes your skin crawl and your eyes pop open at the witching hour and stay awake until the sun rises. That’s Remus’s job.

And it’s like the whole Mindscape is whack-a-mole that he gets to play with! Buttons here and there, squeeze this part and watch the eyes bug out of this part, bap this one on the head, see which one pokes up next. Who’s gonna have nightmares tonight? Who is having a nightmare tonight?

It’s fun.

Point. Right. Right.

It’s normally pretty easy to tell whose intrusive thoughts are whose. They taste different. Patton’s taste like sugar so sweet it’ll fill your mouth with cavities. Virgil’s taste like spiders, crawling around his mouth. Janus’s taste like salt. So much fucking salt. Dry as hell.

Roman’s taste like blood. Problem is, Remus’s mouth normally tastes like blood, so…

Yeah, they gotta work that out.

Logan’s taste like ink. Which is why it took him so long to figure out that Logan was having them. Not just because the nerdy wolverine was so convinced he couldn’t have them—rationalizing them as philosophy principles, come on—but because Remus isn’t exactly an expert on pens. Writing like normal people. Ugh.

Normal people.

What a lie, Janny probably gets a big kick out of those.

No one is normal and normal is boring.

Logan. Right.

Okay, so here’s the thing.

Logan’s thoughts aren’t really…standard? They are to some extent, you don’t really get a whole lot of variety from him—even when Remus has been so helpful in making his room safe for him to be in during bad days, there’s such a lack of imagination there that he wasn’t sure exactly how to feel—but it’s the recent ones that’ve been getting…weird.

Remus chews thoughtfully on the kraken tentacle. He swings up to the chandelier and hangs by his ankles, letting the blood run to his head. Makes it easier to think sometimes.

It hasn’t been very long since they found out…well, since they found out.

Remus frowns. Why is he censoring himself? It’s not like he can’t fucking say self-harm, it’s not like he can’t describe what it was, it’s not like he can’t close his eyes and see it happening again.

Then his mind jumps helpfully to the shocked, panicked look on Logan’s face and the soft, furious resignation on Roman’s, and his jaw snaps shut.

Oh.

Right.

He cares. So he has to be gentle with them.

He growls, swinging himself up to perch on the chandelier proper. He turns the kraken tentacle over and chews on the rubbery side.

The others are delicate. Not that they’re more breakable than any other metaphysical humanoid, but their minds are fragile when it comes to Remus’s side of things. Could they handle the full spectrum of his side of thoughts and shit? Probably, they’re stronger than they give themselves credit for. Should they have to? Hell to the fuck no. But it means that Remus can’t just throw them in the deep end and see if the kraken spits them out whole or in chunks. Could they survive? Absolutely. Would they still be…them? Doubtful.

Remus lets one of his legs go, hanging by one knee as he tips over.

Plus they’re always a little more fragile when it comes to these thoughts anyway. Poking and prodding too much would hurt. Like, the bad kind of hurt.

They’re not supposed to get hurt. Not like that.

So. Gentle it is then.

Right. The others. He has a point, he’s just gotta get there.

Roman…fuck he’s missed his brother. They got—they got so much shit to still work out but they’re gonna do it together and fuck he loves his brother so goddamn much. Roman knows that, he knows that, and he’s always there to pull Remus out of his head when he needs it, hit him with a pillow, or tackle him onto something and hold him tight. He’s—his thoughts taste like blood and Remus hasn’t bitten anything since so that he’ll never miss it again.

But with Logan...

Logan is…odd. It hasn’t been long since they first found out—or rather, they confronted him about it, and Remus hasn’t tasted ink without it disappearing very quickly or knocking on someone’s door to please go get your fucking nerd, please. But the ink has only written the usual suspects, whispering the theorems in dark corners, muttering about the incompleteness of a set, the need for Logic, not Logan, and how to jump through the little loophole again.

It’s not exactly hard for the others to tell.

Lolo hasn’t been looking great. Sure, he’s all pressed and dressed, glasses perfectly in place, tie done up just so, walking around like everything’s just totally and completely fine, but it’s in his face. Object impermanence aside, normally when Remus bugs him, he reacts in some way.

Sass is an emotional response and you won’t convince him otherwise.

Whether it be a wry comment, effortlessly fixing whatever Remus has done to him this time, or even just a look, Lolo does something.

Not anymore.

Now he’ll just kind of…sigh and move on? He’ll fix whatever it is only if it’s directly interfering with what he’s trying to do, or when Patton or Virgil come round the corner and freak the fuck out because you’re bleeding! Then he’ll fix it.

Remus wouldn’t say he’s bored, but he’s worried.

Mainly because the intrusive thoughts…aren’t what he’d consider intrusive anymore.

Take a shower.

Eat something that isn’t just a granola bar.

Go to sleep.

Ask someone for help.

See?

If those are Lolo’s intrusive thoughts, then what the fuck is normally going on in his head?

Remus waits. Waits. Keeps waiting.

The instant his mouth tastes like ink again, with a question of whether or not Logan should take a break, he sinks straight into his shower. He washes his hair thoroughly, gets every single bit of grime off him he can, and puts on the softest pajamas he has—thank you, Roman—and drops himself outside of Logan’s door.

He strains, mouth still full of ink, to hear anything other than the soft click, click, click of Logan’s keyboard.

He can’t.

Fuck.

He knocks.

“One moment, please.”

Indeed, a few seconds later, the door opens to reveal Logan, looking as annoyingly pristine as he always does, surprised to see him.

“Remus? Did you need something? Why…” he trails off as he takes in what Remus is wearing. “What’s wrong?”

“Can I come in?”

“Of—of course,” Logan stammers, moving aside to let him in, “are you alright?”

“Should be asking you that, Lolo.”

“Remus, you’ve just knocked, first of all, on my door and asked to come inside.” Logan adjusts his glasses as he sits at his desk. “This is extremely out of character for you.”

“Uh-huh.” Remus flops onto the bed. “You know what else is out of character?”

“Not wearing your costume?”

“Not hearing intrusive thoughts.”

Logan’s eyes widen. “Has—is there something wrong? Are you not hearing any? Do I need to get Roman?”

Remus frowns. “Why’s it so easy for you to do that?”

“Do what?”

“Care. Try and take care of me.”

Logan blinks. “Because you deserve to be taken care of, Remus. Your needs are important.”

Remus idly toys with a loose thread on one sleeve. “Why?”

“Why? Why are you important?” Remus nods. “Because you’re—you’re an important part of Thomas, you’re important to us, and we care about you.”

“So it’s easy for you to care for me because…you do?”

“As simple as that sounds,” Logan says with all the softness that should be directed at himself, “yes.”

Remus nods. “I’m not having problems with hearing intrusive thoughts.”

“You’re—you’re not?” Logan sighs, relaxing a little back into his chair. “Then why did you say you were?”

“Because the thoughts that I am hearing aren’t really what I’d consider intrusive.”

Logan frowns. “Like what?”

Glad you fucking asked.

“‘Take a shower,’” Remus says, his eyes fixed firmly on Logan’s face, “'eat something,’ ‘take a break,’ ‘go to sleep.’”

He watches Logan’s face tense.

“Sound familiar, Lolo?”

“You—I—my apologies,” Logan manages after a moment, adjusting his tie, “I did not mean to be an inconvenience. You are correct, those are not intrusive thoughts, I’m not sure why you’re hearing them.”

He turns to his desk and begins to fish around for a notebook.

“That is quite intriguing, I wonder what the possibilities for hearing other types of thoughts are, considering—“

“Lolo.”

Logan pauses, turning back. “Yes?”

Remus fixes him with a look, getting up and walking toward him. “They are intrusive thoughts, Logan. The issue is that your intrusive thoughts are about you taking care of yourself.”

Logan freezes.

“W-well, I’m sure that it’s nothing to be concerned about.”

“So either you can admit that was a lie or Janny’s about to get summoned.”

“Remus,” Logan sighs, “it’s fine. As you said, these aren’t what are traditionally considered intrusive thoughts, it’s nothing to be concerned about.”

“No, Lolo, it is,” Remus argues, “because it means that the thought of you taking care of yourself is so foreign, so fucking out of the ordinary that not only does it happen to cross your mind—“ he takes Logan’s chair and spins it around— “but you try to force it out.”

Gotcha.

Logan looks anywhere other than Remus’s face and tries to stand. Only to wobble and crash back down.

“Easy,” Remus says quietly, resting a hand on his shoulder, “you haven’t eaten in a while.”

“But I have work.”

“But you need food.”

“Remus—“

“Logan.”

At Logan’s honest-to-fuck pout, he sighs, dragging the poor nerd up and out the chair and sitting him on the bed.

“Why do you think you don’t deserve to be taken care of?”

“I didn’t say that—hey!” Logan blinks up at him, scandalized and covering his stomach. “Why did you poke me?”

“’S what I do when Janny won’t tell me the truth.”

“I wasn’t—okay, okay!” Logan covers his stomach protectively as Remus readies another poke. “I just…I’ve already asked for help for this before. I shouldn’t have to again.”

Remus sighs and lightly flicks the side of his head.

“Hey!”

“Virgil tries that too.” He stares hard at Logan. “Come on, Lolo, you can do better.”

“It’s not your jobs to take care of me.”

For fuck’s sake…

Remus reaches out and tugs gently on Logan’s tie.

“Remus, what—“

“You taking more books outta Patton’s library now?” Remus tilts his head. “You don’t have to beat around the bush, Lolo, just be honest.”

“I am being honest!”

“You’re not lying, but you’re not being honest.” At the poor nerd’s confusion, he sighs and fixes his glasses on that cute nose. “Just talk to me, Lolo.”

“I—“ Logan sighs and oh fuck why does he look so tired?

Well, because he hasn’t been sleeping.

Or eating.

Or taking care of himself.

Unbidden, part of his conversation with Roman flashes into his head.

“Self-harm can be self-denial too.”

“Lolo?”

“It’s bad enough that I’ve made you all worry about me,” Logan says finally, “I would hate to be a burden.”

Oh, Lolo. “You and Roman, huh?”

Logan looks up warily. “What do you do with Roman?”

“You know what I do.”

Logan sighs. “May at least take my glasses off first?”

“You might wanna change too, I’m not letting you up for a while.”

Logan stretches to place his glasses on the nightstand and poofs himself into a t-shirt and boxers. He sighs and opens his arms.

Remus takes two running steps and tackles the poor nerd onto his bed.

“Ah!”

“Am I hurting you?”

“No, no, just—just a little startled.”

“Mm.” Remus snuggles closer into Logan, his arms wrapped tightly around him. “So. Wanna try one more time?”

Logan sighs, deflating them both to the bed. His head lolls to his left, eyes on his open computer screen. Remus follows it, barely suppressing a growl as he stretches his arm out to save whatever’s on screen and shut it.

“I know what I’m supposed to be doing,” Logan whispers, “I understand the process, I am aware that healing is not a linear concept, I know it’s going to take time, I—I understand.”

Remus looks down, giving him an encouraging squeeze. “But?”

“It’s hard,” comes the soft confession.

Oh, Lolo.

“I know,” he murmurs, leaning down to hug him properly, “I know, Lolo, I know it’s hard. But you can’t try and do it all yourself, you’ve gotta remember that we’re here for you, we care about you.”

“But why?”

Remus smiles and cuddles him tighter. “You said it yourself, Lolo. We care because we do.”

“O-oh.” He feels Logan’s throat work as he swallows. “Thank you, Remus.”

“Of course, Lolo. I’m guessing that sinking us to the living room so everyone else can spoil you is a bad idea, right?”

“Yes.” Finally, finally, he feels Logan shyly tighten his grip on him. “Can we just…stay like this?”

“Do I have your permission to hold you hostage until you fall asleep?”

“Yes.”

“Then go to sleep, Lolo,” Remus murmurs, “I’m not going anywhere.”

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#dragonbabbles #fic #sanders sides #logan sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #janus sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #roman sanders #logan angst #virgil sanders #patton sanders #self harm #tw self harm #tw: self harm

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starleska · 3 years

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when Logic twists: an analysis of Logan, cognitive distortions, and a future Side

spoilers ahead! this is a little deep-dive into some foreshadowing in the latest Sanders Sides episode, and what i believe the team are going for in terms of Logan’s arc. just some thoughts i had after the episode - i hope you enjoy, and would love to hear your thoughts too :) tw for discussion around mental illness, trauma, abuse, intrusive thoughts, therapy, etc.

so, we all know that Thomas does a marvellous job portraying difficulties with mental health. he uses interactions between his Sides to carve out fun stories that dramatise the the internal struggles which come with facing complex situations, including those which arise from your specific history and mental illnesses. the writing behind Sanders Sides often uses consideration of real symptoms and therapeutic techniques in order to impart useful advice to the audience who may be struggling with similar issues. with all of this in mind, i thoroughly believe that a good chunk of you are correct about this new Side (foreshadowed in Logan’s eyes) being Wrath, or some variant of Stress or Anger, and here’s why:

Logan is the side of Thomas which is constantly needing to pick up the slack. not only does he spend a good deal of his time de-escalating conflict between the other Sides, he is constantly letting his own dreams (and consequently, needs) fall by the wayside to comfort, validate and assist Thomas' overall desires. we even literally see him benched during the court case with Janus - his input is considered unimportant unless he is deemed as the voice of reason. with this understanding, Logan is viewed by the other Sides as a Side who doesn’t need help. He’s Logic, so they believe he always knows what is appropriate, and how to control himself - or even that he doesn’t need to control himself at all. yet i don’t believe this to be the case, and i think ‘Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts’ foreshadows this in an intriguing way: by utilising the dynamic between Logan and Remus. for context, i am speaking as an individual who suffers from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD), a form of PTSD. whilst the Thomas we know in the Sanders Sides universe is of course somewhat sanitised and simplified for the easier imparting of moral lessons, we know that this Thomas suffers from issues with intrusive thoughts, low self-esteem, and high anxiety. whether or not these can all be attributed to an underlying condition is irrelevant, but what is intriguing is whether these symptoms are being exacerbated by traumatic, triggering or otherwise stressful events affecting Thomas’ life - which, based on the direction ‘Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts’ went (using the relationship with Nico as a conduit), i think is true. when you experience a number of traumatic events or an acute amount of stress, your Logic can become faulty. let’s think about Logan not as a super-genius who just knows what is the correct thing to do all of the time: his knowledge comes from a bank of information and experiences, which he constantly uses to provide a ‘rational’ stance next to the more ‘emotional’ traits of each Side. yet Logic relies on evidence in order to build up this ‘rationality’. let’s think about a scenario wherein you are told every day by someone that you are ugly. now, if this occurred later in life, your Logic might have already rationalised that this is not the case - that you are beautiful just as you are, that this person is seeking to hurt you, that they are projecting, etc. your Logic would make those reasonable counterpoints based on past experience. however, if you were told by multiple people throughout your life, every day, that you are ugly - say, from caregivers, or close friends - you would internalise ‘i am ugly’ as part of that internal Logic. in the first scenario, you would be able to accurately evaluate the thought, ‘i am ugly’ as a cognitive distortion. however, in the latter scenario, you may be unable to, because you have this bank of ‘evidence’ that other people perceive this as reality. even if those people are abusers, or have an ulterior motive, the notion will be internalised and become your reality - so your Logic will say, ‘i am ugly, based on all of the evidence.’ i find this interesting because in this latest episode, they specifically had Logan call attention to cognitive distortions. we must remember that Logan is a part of Thomas. this is Thomas attempting to rationalise with himself, to implement mindfulness and CBT techniques which he knows to be successful, because they have worked in the past and he has it on scientific authority that they help with intrusive thoughts. but this leads us to a question: what happens when you experience so many traumatic events, or so much stress, that your Logic turns against you and begins to validate your intrusive thoughts? imagine for a moment Logan’s awesome rational power - but levied in support of all of Thomas’ deepest fears. in my own experience with CPTSD, a horribly thorny mental trap is the one you fall into when you start down the path of ‘i must be a horrible person, just like they said. i must have deserved everything done to me. look at all of the evidence.’ these thoughts often appear rational due to the intense nature of the sufferer’s pain, particularly if that pain is repeated or prolonged. i believe that Logan’s outburst, paired with Thomas’ fretting over not receiving a call back from Nico, are supposed to represent the building stages of this mental trap. such thoughts are difficult to emerge from, but they become even more difficult to deal with when met with a powerful emotion: Rage. if you have cause to think thoughts of the ‘i am a disgusting human being’ variety thanks to trauma, stress or similar negative events, often there is a good deal of pent-up Rage stored alongside. justifiable Rage, one might say - it certainly feels so in the mind of someone who has suffered so terribly. if one is prone to hating themselves, feeling inadequate or other fertile breeding ground for intrusive thoughts, they may also sometimes snap into the opposite extreme - becoming infuriated by everything that has happened to them, and that they are still needing to deal with yet more pain in the present. this is something i have suffered from personally: when mixed with trauma, it is equal parts emotional dysregulation, and being triggered by something. you might be enRaged by the idea that you were ever ‘passive’ as a victim of something terrible, and want to ‘fight back’. in other words, the emotional state of your Rage will feel justified - and this can cause you to engage in some deeply destructive behaviours. this is why i believe this new Dark Side will be Rage (or an equivalent). Logan’s ‘STOP IGNORING ME!’ speaks of a breaking point brought on by years of fixing other people’s problems, only to receive very little in return. there’s a misconception that people who are ‘good’ at handling stress or fixing other people’s problems (i.e., not showing much of the strain) are simply less stressed as a whole, and therefore should be saddled with yet more stress. Logan’s screaming at Remus, and Remus’ delight at Logan’s response, shows us that Logan is exhausted from all of the hard work that he’s had to do in order to fight Thomas’ intrusive thoughts and cognitive distortions, alongside the massive amount of stress in his life. likewise, by giving into his impulsivity and opening up more opportunities for further stress, Thomas has allowed Logan - and his Logic - to become vulnerable to Remus and intrusive thoughts. Logan may have successfully been able to dispel the intrusive thoughts which had no basis in reality (for instance, a murderer hiding in Thomas’ closet) - but what happens if Thomas is given validation for an intrusive thought? in other words - what if Logan feels he has reason to listen to Remus? i believe this Rage has been simmering within Thomas for a long time, and his debut is going to be explosive. there are lots of ways this debut could be written; some have theorised that Logic and Rage will be a kind of antithesis to the Creativitwins, wherein the two are fused as Thomas has internalised his Rage as having a Logical root. this would have Rage not as a separate side, but a kind of version or alternate mindset for Logan, a bit like how he was when in Virgil’s room. i would not be surprised at all for this episode to include both Remus and Janus - Remus, revelling in the intrusive thoughts which Logan/Rage is now allowing to fly free, and Janus, delighting in Logan/Rage’s validation of destructive behaviours, which may well include Deceit. i could also see Virgil being drawn in by this irresistible combination of Anxiety-fuelling thoughts - intrusive thoughts inspiring inadequacy, Deceit inspiring fear of being found out, and the terror of Logic being twisted to validate every fear Virgil has ever had for Thomas. you know when someone has hurt you really badly, and so in your head you come up with countless (awful, unrealistic, hurtful) ways to ‘get back at them’? that’s what i think the next Sanders Sides episode is going to be like. of course, like Anxiety, Intrusive Thoughts and Deceit, Rage will have his uses too. i believe, if any of this theorising is correct, that the next Sanders Sides episode will follow a narrative discussing if Rage is justified when one is hurt to a massive extreme, and what Logic can one follow when it backs up every destructive impulse. are you being Logical if you are full of Rage? basically, i think Logan (influenced by a breaking point and giving over to Rage) is going to do everything in his power to be destructive, under the idea that it is the only Logical thing to do. i believe he will fall to the horrific power of cognitive distortions and mental illness, and that the other Sides will need to use their strengths to bring him back. anyway, that’s all my thoughts! my apologies for any inaccuracies, or if anything in here was upsetting. i’d love to hear what you think about this, and your own theories! :D take care 💏

#sanders sides #sanders sides spoilers #logan sanders #remus sanders #thomas sanders #starleskatalks

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bothcreativitybois · 4 years

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Star Wars AU Chapter 1

Here’s the first little chunk of a Sanders Sides Star Wars AU I’ve been planning for a while now. I hope y’all like it.

Word count: 1477

TW: Violence, kinda unsympathetic Janus and Logan

No shipping, purely platonic

Taglist (please ask if you wish to be added): @crazydemigod666 @star-crossed-shipper

Droids were littered around the dimly lit atrium, the only real light coming from the blade of Virgil’s lightsaber. He panted as the demeaning figure stared at him from above. Judging. Without a single movement the figure spoke, the hood hiding his face.

“Impressive, young Virgil.” The sith lord announced. “Your wielding continues to impress and your lightning strikes true.” Virgil retracted the energy of his lightsaber and dropped to a kneel.

“Thank you, Lord Deceit.” Virgil praised. However his master was not done.

“But your movements continue to be stiff and your focus is erratic. In a real fight this could be the end.” The lord scorned. Virgil cringed at the usual remarks. No matter how hard he worked he just could not fix these same problems.

“If I may, master?” Virgil began. Lord Deceit waved a hand to let him proceed. “I think it is because I only ever fight droids. I learned from them. They’re too predictable and my moves have gotten rehearsed.”

“What are you trying to say, young one?” The lord chastised. Virgil grit his teeth. For a long time he had been trying for an opportunity to leave the station again, even for a day, perhaps this would be his chance.

“Maybe if I had a chance for a real fight, a real opponent, I could learn.” Virgil looked up pleadingly at Lord Deceit. The sith lord stood, he put his hands behind him. He turned and took a few steps down the stairs that lead to his throne. Virgil felt isolated in the wide empty room, the large windows leading out to black void of space only amplified this.

“You wish for a chance to prove yourself?” The lord hummed. Virgil nodded. “Do you not remember what happened the last time I gave you an opportunity for just that? Do you not remember how you failed me?” Virgil bit his lip. He was well aware, the hum of the cybernetics attached to his throat served as a great reminder.

“You better not. You have already failed once.” Lord Deceit reminded. “As much as I care for you Virgil, I may not be able to give you another chance.”

“Master, you have trained me well. I have learned from that mistake and believe I have learned all I can from simulations and training droids.” Virgil pressed. It was true, he could predict their patterns. He knew that they would not harm him so he had no fear fighting them. Lord Deceit laughed, his deep voice booming like an explosion.

“You do not wish for training, you thirst for adventure. I can feel it.” The sith lord’s delight could be heard in his tone. “I remember that feeling well.” Lord Deceit thought back fondly, but kept his face stern. Virgil felt so close, he could taste it. The chance to prove himself, the chance to see what was beyond the steel walls that filled every memory. A chance to look out a window and not see the darkness of space.

“I will only do as you wish, master.” Virgil threw out as a last hope. The lord reached the last steps and strode over to his apprentice. As the light flooded under his hood Virgil could see the jagged scars littering half his face giving the appearance of scales. His yellow eyes were unreadable. Virgil stood to meet him but still had to look up to see his face.

“As fate would have it an opportunity has arisen that might just provide what you want, young Virgil.” Lord Deceit began. Virgil’s eyes lit up. “I have sensed a powerful anomaly in the force. A young child with more raw power with the force than I have ever seen. If I have felt this then it is certain the Jedi have too. We must get to this child before they do. I planned to send a squadron of droids but perhaps a one man approach would be better suited.” Virgil paused to take it in. A mission? Alone?

“I will bring the child back for you, master.” Virgil put a hand over his chest and bowed his head.

“If you manage to do such, you will no longer be my apprentice. Your training will be complete.” Lord Deceit announced. Virgil could not believe it. He would be a sith warrior.

“Thank you, master! I will not disappoint!” Virgil vowed. The sith lord turned and began to stride away.

A jedi apprentice skipped down the halls, closely followed by a jedi master. The sunlight danced off the men’s faces and made the sandstone of the walls sparkle as if they had diamonds in them. The sunny day was a great metaphor for the excitement of Padawan Patton who had just gotten news that would change his life.

“This is it! My chance to prove myself!” Apprentice Patton cheered. The stern faced master with him was not impressed.

“Calm yourself, Patton.” Master Logan directed. “This mission is confidential. You must contain yourself.” The masters stern face was half hidden by his brown and grey beard, blending well with his brown jedi robes. “This lack of control has gotten you in trouble before. If you wish to rise to jedi knight you must learn to mitigate your impulses.” Patton stopped and tried to neaten his curly blonde hair. He was brought down by the mention of this past issue. It was not a situation he wanted to remember.

“I am sorry, master Logan.” He apologised. A jedi must be calm and impartial, but Patton always struggled to contain his emotions. Master Logan sighed and pushed open a large set of doors. Master Logan’s small library was quiet and gave them the privacy they needed to discuss the sensitive task ahead of the student. Glowing books lined the walls and reflected off the metal table in the center. Patton settled on a bench attached to a wall, he was still vibrating with excitement. Master Logan put a chip into the table in the middle of the hexagon shaped room. The lights dimmed and star charts appeared. He moved to stand in front of the student.

“We have sensed a disturbance, a powerful one.” Logan began. “We believe it has come from a young boy on a planet known as Pi’cani.” A cluster of stars was zoomed into on the star chart, another zoom revealed a small planet. “This young boy has immense connection to the force, more than we see in the most highly trained knights. His connection rivals us masters. Your job is to find this child and bring him back to us. If he is left untrained or worse, taken to the dark side, then he could be a danger to us all.” Patton rose his hand, Master Logan sighed but allowed him to ask his question.

“What if the child’s parents are reluctant to let him leave?” Patton asked, his empathy boiling up.

“We do not know the boy’s situation. You will report it to us and the council will decide the best course of action.” Logan answered. “As this is a highly classified mission you will only be allowed contact with one Jedi member, that will be me. You also will not be allowed to use any of our resources else the mission may be in danger. You will be sent to the travel hub with some credits and a bag of supplies. With that and your lightsaber you should have everything you need to complete the assignment.” Master Logan stepped away and took the chip out of the table and the lights came up. The star chart disappeared. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master Logan. I will not fail the council.” Patton promised. Master Logan let his shoulders fall a moment and put a hand on Patton’s shoulder.

“The council's eyes are on you. Many have crumbled under this pressure, don’t let that happen to you.” Master Logan soothed. This was the reason they chose Patton over any other apprentice. He was enthusiastic and cheerful, he would not be easy to break. Sith fed off negative emotions, everyone doubted if Patton had felt bad in his life. “I have full faith in you padawan. If anyone can complete this, it’s you.” Patton’s eyes sparkled from the approval. He rose to and skipped to the door.

“I’ll see you when I am a knight, master Logan.” Patton joked.

“I hope so.” Master Logan nodded. “As much as I care for you Patton, the council may not be able to give you another chance.”

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #sanders sides fic #sanders sides au #ts logan #logan sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #ts patton #patton sanders #ts janus #janus sanders #sanders sides star wars au #roman took over

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talk1about7seventeen · 4 years

Text

ʚ ɞ Who Are You? ʚ ɞ

Summary: Remus plans a date with Logan, a cute picnic for them to be alone together! But Remus’ idea of wholesome, is way different than what you’d expect.

Warning: Wholesome and affectionate Remus, Logan confused with emotions, cute moments, overall sweetness. ♡‧₊˚

Characters: Remus and Logan

Word Count: 1142

Ship/ Pairing: Intrulogical (Remus x Logan) (Romance)

I hope you enjoy!!! (๑´>᎑<)~♡ --- 5:25 AM

In the midst of darkness, Logan grew conscious of his surroundings. Something moved within the quiet space. It was calm and careful. There was more movement, now nearing the end of his bed. Logan remained as still as possible, monitoring his breathing, making sure it was even and relaxed. A heavy weight climbed onto Logan, and he then realized the presence that was with him. “If you insist on being here, you might as well make yourself known.” He said aloud, staring at the ceiling, not an once of fear in his body. Legs wrapped around either side of his and a pair of hands pressed on either side of Logan’s head. “Mornin’ nerd!” Remus greeted Logan with a full toothed smile.

Logan let out a sigh, and sat up. Remus wrapped his arms around the tired boy’s neck as he shifted his posture. “Do you need something?” The green eyed side let out a cackle. “I need youuu~” He purred. “At this hour?” Logan questioned, motioning for his glasses which laid on his bed-side table. Positioning the glasses on the bridge of his nose, he could now clearly see his surroundings. “Get ready pretty boy.” Remus told him, holding onto Logan tighter. “For?” He asked, noticing how affectionate the side was being this morning. “You’ll see!!!” He jumped to his feet with excitement. “Wear something cute.” Remus said, and with that he sunk into the floor and disappeared without any other words. Logan rubbed his eyes, now fully awake and rather curious of what this chaotic boy had planned. 6:15 AM

Logan closed his dresser door as quietly as possible and turned to see the sky’s hues had brightened ever so slightly from the window in his bedroom. Now that he looked at it, the window was open. He had sworn he’d closed it the night before. As the sky lightened, so did his atmosphere. Soon enough, he realized outside of his window was a meadow with hunter green trees encompassing area. Where am I supposed to be? Logan pondered, motioning to close the window. He stopped as he saw the outline of a person below him. Outside of the window in the grass stood Remus with a picnic basket in hand. The smaller boy gave a little wave to come down. Logan nodded and sunk into the floor until he found himself in the cool meadow. “Hello, good looking~” Remus gave a little wink. Logan cleared his throat to fill the quiet in the wooded land. “Lead the way.” He stated, crossing his hands behind his back. “Isn’t this Roman’s land?” Looking around, it was too tame here to be something Remus created. It was too....soft. “Technically...it won’t hurt if he doesn’t know.” Remus responded. The two walked a bit further until they found a split in the land that bordered Remus’ chaos and Roman’s dreamland. The grass on Remus’ side was dark, almost dead like, and it’s trees looked haunted and twisted. Remus, seemingly unphased by this, placed the basket down onto the ground. Gently he pulled out a checkered blanket consisting of different shades of green, blue, and a hint of sea green. He smoothed it out onto the ground, sitting down on top of it. Remus patted the ground in front of him, beckoning Logan to sit with him. Trying to hold back a smile, the taller boy sat down in front of Remus. “I didn’t know what you wanted, so I just guessed.” Remus began to unpack the food within the picnic basket which consisted of: a Monster Energy drink for himself, a peach iced tea for Logan, different assorted sweets such as chocolate covered strawberries, a raspberry cheesecake, and sour candies, as well as plates, wine glasses, and only one fork. “What are the glasses for?” Logan questioned, examining the details on each glass. “That’s where we put the cake!” Logan raised an eyebrow, confused. “It’s a thing Thomas saw on Tiktok.” Remus picked up a glass and pushed it upside-down directly in the middle of the cheesecake and scooped up a large piece, turning the glass right-side-up again. “C’mon, Logie, humor me.” 6:45 AM

“Why raspberry cheesecake?” Logan asked, digging the singular fork into the sweet dessert and taking a bite while Remus just shoved his face in the glass. “The syrup looked like blood.” Remus answered after swallowing a large chunk of cheesecake. Why are we out here? Logan wanted to ask but stopped himself from doing so. For some odd reason, he didn’t want to hurt Remus’ feelings...if he even had any. The only sides who really knew him was Deciet and Virgil. Even then, Logan was sure he’d get nothing from Janus, and get an even more of an negative result from Virgil. “Your lucky I didn’t use actual blood....I was thinking about it.” Remus let out a snort which caused Logan to smile. “Look at that....” The boy said softly, staring directly at Logan. “I didn’t know you could smile.” Was he stunned? Logan felt his heart leap. Remus seemed deep in thought. No one, let alone Logan had seen this rather uncontrollable side so....tame.

“It’s almost time!” He exclaimed, jumping to his feet, grabbing Logan’s arm and pulling him in the process. Logan got to his feet and trailed behind Remus as he began running away from the picnic blanket and back into the direction they had came in. To the left of them was a hill. Remus, with a smile on his face, headed for the hill intertwining his fingers with Logan as they ran. 6:59 AM

“Look, Logie!!!” Remus said pointing to the horizon. Logan’s eyes filled with wonder as the sky was painted with vibrant colors unlike what he had ever seen before in person. “Wow....” He reached out a hand as if he were trying to grasp the sky in his palms. “This is very unlike you...” Logan turned to face Remus. “I mean, it’s not what I would have done personally, but I thought you, of all people, might enjoy this.” He told Logan.

Everything in that moment that Logan knew about Remus vanished. He made an effort to be everything he wasn’t for the side that no one would expect to be in this situation. Like the sky, Logan began to burst with color, he felt and experienced feelings he wasn’t use to. Emotions were so complicated, and as Logan would put it, “icky” yet somehow, this felt right. His heart beat sped up at the recalling of the last hours. The touching, the smiling....questions tugged at him, without answers. “Who....who are you?” Logan whispered, their faces now closer than they have ever been. Remus smiled wide, placing a hand on his. “I guess you’ll have to find out.”

#thomassanders #sanderssides #sandersides #intrulogical #remussanders #logansanders #fluff #wholesome #fanfiction

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equalseleventhirds · 4 years

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ok i was gonna publish this list of interesting podcasts after the Podcast Marathon (of first episodes) but i have been too busy to do more listens recently so i will just update this as i gradually listen to more. it’s an ongoing project.

(for context i was looking for full-on sci fi and/or fantasy, but some of these were more ‘real world with One Bit of Genre thrown in’ which is not what i am after right NOW but still good for later)

ones i think i like (EDIT now with ‘ones i Super Duper Like’ and ‘ones i think are pretty good, still better than list two but did not hook me QUITE as hard as the Very Much Ones’):

ones i Super Duper Like:

the godshead incidental

saffron and peri

the rest is electric

hit the bricks

arin key and the runaway corpse

pod to pluto

project ozma

where the stars fell

absolutely no adventures

second star to the left

here be dragons

what will be here

camp here and there

brimstone valley mall

midnight diner

ones that i like a regular amount:

novitero

null/void

vega

VAST horizon

sidequesting

janus descending

come on in, the water’s fine

the orphans

super ordinary

circe

the pasithea powder

hello from the hallowoods

station arcadia

the london necropolis railway

mirrors

evergreen sky

the nuclear solution

the godfrey audio guide

the last station

the one stars

verity weaver

waiting

discovery park

in transit

untypical

all’s fair

the 12:37

wizard seeking wizard

the tower

desperado

the never rad miscellany

unwell

monstrous agonies

ones i think i might possibly like, but that require further investigation:

marscorp

radio elusia

kakos industries

mount olympus university

the after disaster broadcast

directive

red valley

the prickwillow papers

solutions to problems

2298

and 195

magic king dom

between the devil

jarnsaxa rising

the mistholme museum of mystery, morbidity, and mortality

midst

hypnopolis

arsen

the devil hates mondays

the night post

tomorrow, the void

seren

vile trials

civilized

the beacon

the archivist

marsfall

hg wells has his regrets

the graveyard tapes (rly very conflicted abt this one, requires MUCH more investigation before i decide)

paired

the vanishing act

the gray line

inco

moonbase theta out (genuinely a v good show, just not yet sure if it is fun & funny for me, but also a good chunk of my podcasty followers will enjoy this)

ones i can see other ppl liking but i am not quite feeling (further listening miiiight win me over if they get better but... eh.):

cybernautica

valence (ok these first two i actually went through the first 4/5 eps bcos i did them before i decided on the one-episode thing but also... they just did not click)

sayer

startripper

caravan (torn between this and the further investigation list, actually, but i had a VISCERAL reaction to the first episode)

the liberty podcast (but do pay attention to their announcement about quality getting better later)

oracle of dusk

eastmouth

meteor city

we know none (actually like, REALLY good and i rec it hard, just not a genre i am into most of the time)

the mcilwraith statements

the way we haunt now

#algie's podcast marathon #here it is the big post

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jackthefibber · 4 years

Text

something i noticed just now: in losing my motivation, when roman first appears one of the first things logan does is point out that he think he “sees a spider” behind roman only to ascertain a moment later that no, “it was just a shadow.” here’s what that shot looks like.

then when roman comes back into frame (after freaking out about a spider that wasn’t there), the first thing he does is look behind the television. is that reminiscent of anyone?

we, as the audience, are prompted to look at the fact that there are two shadows behind him now (there had been still previously, before logan pointed it out, however we now have a reason to be looking), which is much different from the singular shadow that had been behind him in the previous video, alone on valentine’s day. here are comparison screen shots:

valentine’s day video:

losing my motivation:

there is a slight shadow in the opposite direction in the valentine’s day video here, but it is much more distinct in losing my motivation.

i always wondered at what point sanders sides went from a silly vlogging bit to this overarching, wonderfully written plot & i think the answer is around the valentine’s day video, if not for this shadow debacle then at least for the following lines of dialogue that alludes to the merch...

note that i don’t think thomas started selling sanders sides merch for a decent chunk of time after this video. the character outfit redesigns happened 12 episodes (or 5 months) between losing my motivation & fitting in. these lines could just be a coincidence, the episode is about valentine’s day after all & flowers are commonly exchanged then, however ...

thomas mentions the color yellow twice. a little weird, sure, but he doesn’t mean to allude to a yellow side ... does he?

bagels! where have we heard bagels mentioned before?

that’s right, in selfishness vs. selflessness redux, in a moment that was a clear call back to thomas singing razzle dazzle as janus in a livestream that occurred just a month before redux’s release! the moment is obviously a call back because just moments later, patton says the very title of the song!

so right, okay. i’m not saying that all this has to absolutely have been on purpose & weren’t just drawn upon & elaborated on conveniently later as they introduced the dark sides, but i am saying that if joan & thomas & everyone else did intend this, then they’re far more brilliant & cohesive then we might be giving them credit for, because this is stunning!

#sanders sides #sanders sides theory #janus sanders #remus sanders #thomas sanders #sorry for the shitty captions on the svs:re caps #there aren't captions on youtube yet so i resorted to photoshop #tbt :: theory.

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im14andivebeen14foramonth · 4 years

Text

The Parent Trap AU

This absolutely WONDERFUL art is done by @sanderssidestrash27 Thank for making this I love it so much!!!!!

Summary: Almost twelve years later, separated at birth twins Roman and Remus both end up at the same Camp Sanders. What chaos will ensue those short eight weeks? And where will it lead the twins when their time together ends?

"And, once again, we have a winner! Presenting Mr. Napa California, Remus Parker!" The crowd of boys watching the tournament let out an uproar of applause and shouting as Gavin held Remus's hand up above his head in victory. Remus grinned, whooping along with all of the boys and swooping his arm in a righteous bow. "Now, do we have any other competitors?" Gavin asked.

Remus walked over to the group of onlookers to them all high fives, grinning and laughing at their words of praise. Even he couldn't deny it (not that he ever would), he *was* pretty good at fencing. Great, even.

"Oh come on now, boys!" Gavin said as he surveyed the nearby campers. "Someone here has got to be able to beat this champion, let's give it a go!"

"I'll try!" Roman declared as we walked up to the scene. He had a soccer ball tucked under his arm and had two other boys trailing behind him. They all looked like they just walked off of the soccer field, still sweaty and hot of breath.

"Alright, epic, let's go!" Gavin scribbled down *Roman James* next to *Remus Parker* on his clipboard. Above that sat rows upon rows of *Remus Parker*s next to previous opponents, all of their names crossed out and a star besides his every time.

Roman walked over to the pile of equipment while Remus talked with his friends.

"You're gonna win this one again, man," one of them said.

"Yeah, you're gonna whoop his ass, dude!" Another boy exclaimed. Everyone gasped at the foul language before laughing. "Besides, look at him. He's whooped from his soccer game, he wouldn't be able to win even if he tried." Remus grinned before turning to look at his new challenger, who was already suited up.

"Good luck, Re!" Camden said as Remus grabbed his sabre.

"Thanks, Cammy. But, I don't need luck." He tossed his blade into the air, catching it in and landing in a fighting stance. He pointed the protected tip of the weapon only an inch from Camden's chest. Who immediately flinched back. Remus smirked, proud of the reaction he was given. "I'm Remus Parker. AKA the best fencer in the whole country, AKA the one who's about to beat this poor boy's ass." The boys burst into laughter and playful applause as Remus made yet another ceremonious bow. Janus *did* always tell Remus to be confident in himself and his abilities, though he always made a point to assure Remus that he got his confidence from his other father, whomever that may be. Janus usually left that part out. Well, whoever it was, Remus had to thank them one day. Without them, he wouldn't be able to wack other people with long swords. The thought made him giggle quietly to himself.

"Alright boys, are we ready?" Gavin asked. Remus turned back around sliding his protective mask over his face.

"Yup," he stated, getting into position.

"You know it," Roman said. Remus didn't know who this boy was, but he couldn't help but want to laugh out loud at his clear British accent. What British dude would want to come to a camp like this when he could be enjoying a cup of tea with the Queen or something? Remus almost laughed out loud.

"En garde." Gavin said, crouching down to get a better view. The two boys touched their blades together, tense and ready for battle. Most of the campers held their breaths, a few of them letting out words of praise for the player they were rooting for. Things like *let's go Roman* and *you got this Roman* rang out amongst the crowd. Anticipation hung in the air like a rope, swinging back and forth between the opposing teams. The noise dropped as silence filled the air for a few frightful seconds before Gavin declared the magic word:

"Fence."

With that one, little word, Remus smirked under his gear. His attitude reeked of confidence as he swung his sabre back and forth towards Roman. Roman arched his back, avoiding every blow with surprising ease. Shocked, Remus almost lost his footwork, barely avoided the tip of Roman's blade. He regained his thoughts and ran by Roman to the nearest tree. He jumped with as much grace as he could muster, kicking his foot off the tree and propelling himself in Roman's direction. Roman, however, was able to jump back and duck, moving out of the way and missing all four of Remus's attacks. Roman, catching on to Remus's style quickly, decided that it was his turn to strike. So he jumped forward and launched his sabre at Remus. Remus was able to block Roman, causing them to run backwards into the grass. Remus, having to run backwards, lost his footing and rolled onto the ground on his back. The air was knocked out of him and he clutched the dark grass with his free hand, gasping for air. A chunk of the dewy plant was ripped from the Earth as his hand flew up to his chest. When he was finally able to regain his composure, he lifted the hand up to his eyes to block out the obnoxious rays of sun and view his determined opponent. He saw Roman lurking above him. He looked like he was trying to be dramatic, waiting until the very last second to strike. *What an idiot* Remus thought, rolling his eyes. *Two can play at that game.* Remus played there, pretending to be beat. The crowd of boys had quickly caught up with the two and were now shouting at each opponent. Some called for Remus to get up, while others cheered Roman on to finish his work. Roman, being the over-the-top and confident that he was, flexed his muscles in show. Remus almost chortled at his dumb this boy was, but instead kept up his act. Finally, done with his dramatics, Roman brought his blade up above his arms, lowering it to stab directly in the middle of his chest. That's when Remus rolled away, jumping to his feet and letting out a battle cry as he ran sword-first at Roman. The 6drown let out an uproar of yells while Roman shrieked out of pure terror. He ran away from Remus and up the stairs of the outdoor dining hall with Remus following only steps behind. Remus was able to run ahead of the other and hopped onto the seat if the bench. The boys continued to fence and he shimmied down the bench and Roman along the wooden deck. Until, that is, Remus got to the end of the bench and also the end of the deck, which if course, with Remus's luck, lacked a railing. And as he turned back around to find a route of escape, Roman decided to make his final strike. Where was his dramatics when Remus needed them? As the tip of his blade collided with Remus's chest above his rapidly beating heart, the force caused Remus to stumble and tip backwards, before eventually falling off of the deck…

And into a trough of water.

Oh. *There* were his dramatics. Great timing.

As Remus hit the water back-first, the now large crowd of onlookers all gasped and fell still. Droplets of water splashed through the air and hit the warm grass, a few campers getting wet in the process. Still, they sat there, tense and unmoving. Finally, Remus was the first to move as he slowly turned his head towards Roman. He lifted his arms, watching as water pooled off of him and back into the trough. Turning back to Roman with his arms still extended, he growled.

"Really?" He snarled, his strained voice muffled by his mask but clearly seeping with rage. Roman had one of his hands up to his mask to cover his mouth in shock. He shook his head in an attempt to regain his thoughts before quickly dropping his sabre.

"Oh my God, I'm so so sorry! Here, let me help," he said as he extended his hand towards Remus. Remus peered up at Roman, smirking. He went to match onto to Roman's hand, but before Roman could even think of pulling him onto the dock, Remus yanked his arm as hard as he could.

With a small, high-pitched shriek, Roman went falling butt-first into the container of water. Even as Remus was hit with the spray of water and even more soaked, he couldn't help but burst into a loud fit of laughter. As he continued to laugh hysterically, Roman looked down at himself. He let out a choked, offended scoff before shoving Remus back into the water, causing him to both stop his laughter and get even more wet. When he resurfaced, he saw Roman laughing just as he had been before and huffed, clocking Roman in the face. What could he say, his dad always did teach him to stand up for himself. And if that meant punching some random dude in the face (or even shoving someone down the steps, something that apparently his father found funny but told him to stop doing after the fourth time. Sorry, Billy, but that was MY Thomas the Train.) then so be it.

When Roman came down from the initial shock of being punched, he turned to Remus and decked him the same way he had, right square in the face. Now *that's* when things got bad.

The two boys went full out brawl mode, rolling around in the water, kicking, cursing, punching, and everything in between. Both boys found the other to be surprisingly around the same strength as himself, along with very similar fighting techniques. Punches right to the face and bites on the arm seemed to be both of their go-to's, apparently. Finally, after fighting for what felt like ages, they both felt Paris of strong arms wrap around their middles in an attempt to untangle them. They continued to go at each other's throats until the second they were dropped a feet apart in the grass, soaked and furious.

"Boys! That is enough!" Gavin said as he stood by Roman's side.

"There is absolutely no fighting at this camp, do you hear me? We work through our differences with words and nonviolent activities only. Is that understood?" Leo asked, hands held on his hips as he looked between the two boys.

"Yes, sir," Roman and Remus muttered in unison, their muffled responses dripping with annoyance and little guilt. Their minds were elsewhere, both secretly hoping that their masks were enough to protect them from the other's blows. Neither of them had been prepared for the other's strength, their egos to big to think that they would be beat. If not, they'd both walk out of the situation with black eyes and bloodied lips, not to mention a crap ton of red scratches. A cool story in Remus's opinion, but to Roman, who had never been in a legitimate fight before, he would be horrified. People might think he was a fighter, something he kept solely for playing and daily activities, up until now. His dad would kill him, his grandfather scold him, and his butler worry over him endlessly. A part of him found this new endeavor cool, secretly hoping to keep a few small marks for a while. But longer lasting ones that would stay after the eight week camp were not worth worth any of that.

Sure, Remus's dad would be mad, and his nanny worried sick, but they were used to this kind if behavior from Remus. Many days he'd come home from school beaten or bruised, either from his adventures or his schoolmate differences. Janus had to even go to his schools sometimes to pick him up or clear things up with his principal and teachers. He was always really good at convincing people of things. Remus felt bad when his father had to come get him or patch him up, but he always tried to be better for him. He knew he wasn't easy to handle all the time, especially with only his dad and nanny there to take care of him. But, like usual, he would definitely be given more chores and a scolding. Not to mention, black eyes hurt. A whole lot. If he did have any, however, he was lucky that his nanny had been teaching him how to use makeup lately now that he was getting older. Some ice and concealer would do the trick.

"Boys! That is enough!" Gavin said as he stood by Roman's side.

"Boys!" Leo said, snapping his fingers. "Up here!" Both of the boys shook their heads and left their thoughts behind to linger on their own in favor of listening to the counselor. "Now I want you two to apologize to each other. And take off your protective gear, it must be soaking wet by now."

The two boys huffed and turned to face each other. In unison, the two reached up for their masks, dipping their heads downwards and sliding them off. As their arms fell to their sides, they lifted their heads, and immediately locked eyes. They both gasped at what they were met with.

Light brown eyes met the same pair of light brown eyes in return. They scanned each other's face, taking in their similarities. Scattered freckles splayed like the night stars, fluffy light brown hair, only partially wet as the summer sun quickly worked to dry it. Unfortunately, they both had obvious scratches and bruises along their faces, most noticeably on their cheeks and noses. It was as if both boys had the same thought process as the other. So, not only did they *look* alike, but they *thought* alike. Strange.

"Well, boys?" Leo asked after a few silent seconds. The boys looked over to him, confused.

"Sorry?" They asked in unison, the man's speech only seconds ago now long forgotten.

Leo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'll take it. Now please, get to your respective cabins and clean up before dinner in the mess. If you require any assistance, the medic cabin is that way. Now go, shoo. And please, no more trouble." Flapping his hands,bhe ushered the boys along. They stared at each other, not breaking eye contact as they walked towards their cabins. Once they hit a fork in the road between their two cabins, Gavin ran up to them.

"Wow, it's like you two are twins or something! That's so weird!" He said before running off.

The boys looked back at each other, sparing one last glance before they glared and stomped off.

This was war.

Taglist: @sanderssidestrash27 @dew-drop-of-honey @ab-artist @iinyxtello @safesandersides @yep-another-fander @savetheupholstery

I hope you guys liked it!!!!!

#parent trap au #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides #gmos nook #my writing #sanders sides fandom #sanders sides fanfiction

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paperhatcollection · 4 years

Text

A Duke and A Dad.

A fanic based solely on THIS picture by @honeycapp

To be fair, it’s not like they’d set out to get along from the beginning.

Which, and let’s continue to be fair here, wasn’t even the beginning from the start. But after years of ignorance and denial and paranoid thoughts that whispered across the mind at four in the morning- you had to start building a relationship back up from somewhere, and sometimes that work began in the middle of the story. Sometimes you had to dust out old cobwebs, and clean out the clutter, and find the cracked frame of a portrait you forgot you even had. Because remembering was painful, and it was the natural instinct of any part-of-a-human to avoid painful situations at all cost... or so you thought. So you thought.

You also thought nobody would ever willingly put another thinking, feeling being in pain when they had the power to help. But repression could be dangerous, and ignorance tenfold.

At first, nobody even knew where Patton had gone until he’d burst from Remus’s room in a full panic, with nothing but the echo of the Duke’s laughter following him down the hall. The idea had been quite simple in the beginning, really. Patton had wanted to meet a side of Thomas’s that he’d ignored and pushed down for far too long, had wanted to understand him in a way that wouldn’t leave him grasping for straws at every intrusive thought that wiggled and wormed its way into Thomas’s head. Remus had been excited at the thought of disturbing someone he’d never gotten a chance to disturb before, a side that (in his mind) had previously sat so ‘high and mighty’ atop a throne of acceptance, no matter what he seemed to do.

But then Patton came back and sat down on the only clean spot on Remus’s bed, ignored the way something was licking his ankles, and asked Remus through nervously gritted teeth where exactly he’d gotten the idea to wear an octopus on his head from, it was really- no thank you, he really doesn't want any blood. Yes, yes… he was very sure.

Patton didn’t know what he’d been hoping for, at the time. Peace, maybe. Of the mind, or the heart, or in general. He didn’t know. He’d been coming to realize he hadn’t known a lot of things, lately. More important things than he’d thought, anyways… Sometimes, out of the corner of his eye, he’d catch Janus watching him closely, but every time he’d turn his head to look, the snake-boi would have returned his attention to whatever else he had seemed to be doing. Patton had considered approaching Janus and asking him but- whenever he thought about it, his mouth felt dry and his throat felt closed off, and he was positive it had nothing to do with Janus’s own abilities at play. Remus would be… there, too. Not that he ever paid Patton any attention.

But to be fair, no one gave anyone Remus any attention back. He was there. Always in the background, a consistent chatter to be tuned out, never the focus.

The next time Patton visited Remus, he took a stab in the dark and brought some homemade spaghetti, along with some garlic bread in his other hand. He watched Remus turn the tub of pasta over in his hands, as if trying to figure out what the hippity hoppity Patton had just given him. Then he’d popped off the lid, grabbed a handful of noodles, and shoved them into his mouth while grinning at Patton with far too many teeth. Patton had simply smiled back and remembered the last time he’d given Roman pasta. Sometimes, the twins looked more alike than they seemed to realize. After realizing he wasn’t getting too Patton this time, Remus had huffed and started to pick at the garlic bread, occasionally tossing chunks towards his dresser where they were snatched up by the jaws of… something Patton would rather not get a closer look at. Besides, who was he to go snooping in Remus underwear drawer?

(Remus caught him staring anyways, and figured hey if that’s what you wanna see pops- Patton excused himself while Remus was half undressed, but this time he left at a much calmer pace. He once again came back, at first to ask for the tupperware back, but spent all of five seconds watching Remus through the doorway before telling him he could keep it.)

It was a start, he supposed, and Patton soon turned it into tradition. He brought little gifts with him- first things based on what he knew Roman liked, but soon turning to things he guessed the Duke would enjoy, based on their slowly growing conversations and the things he saw littered around Remus’s room. (And Patton thought he’d been the messy side…). He’d tried bringing him a color book, but Remus had just eaten all the crayons and still somehow colored all the pictures in to be inappropriate images, and he’d tried giving Remus a fidget spinner but within five minutes of him having the thing it was made of knives and had an eyeball in the middle and followed Patton’s movements around the room. He swore it was blinking at him.

Then he tried branching out into a different direction- he brought Remus this newfangled thing he’d found called a ‘squishy’- this one designed for you to put slime inside so that when you squeezed it it came out through the mouth like… you know. And if when Remus squeezed it, it smelled a little too foul to be slime, well, his room kinda already smelled bad as it was. And then, after making a questionable gift decision at four in the morning, he got Remus a coffee mug shaped like a toilet. That very same morning, Remus showed up to breakfast drinking what Patton really hoped was coffee from that exact same mug. He’d also gotten Remus a plush shaped like an octopus with a little mustache, but he didn’t see it again the next time he’d visited, so he figured Remus must have torn it to shreds.

One day, Patton had an idea that he… really wasn’t sure would work, but he figured it was worth the shot. Instead of bringing Remus something, he’d grabbed Remus and brought him to an empty room with some paint cans. Patton had handed him one- a green can of paint, and told him he’d always wanted to try just throwing around paint and seeing what would happen. So of course Remus threw the can of paint directly onto Patton.

So Patton threw a can of blue back on Remus in retaliation. And then Remus had laughed- dripping with blue paint, pushing it out of his face and winking at Patton, before tipping directly backwards and hitting the ground. Remus had spread his arms and legs back and forth- he was making a paint angel, Patton had realized, and he could only laugh cause… seriously, that was the most innocent thing he’d seen the Duke do up to that point.

And if the two of them received a couple odd stares when they finally left the room a couple hours later- gosh the time had flown by- covered in more colors than Patton had thought possible, laughing at a joke that only made sense between the two of them... well, it was worth it in the name of mental health. Except…

Patton wasn’t sure when something had changed.

Maybe it was when Remus had stopped waiting in the shadows of his room, under his bed or clinging to the ceiling above his door. Stopped watching every move Patton made, his eyes never leaving the moral side, morning star clutched a-little-too-tightly to his chest despite the little-too-wide grin he always wore. When instead his door would fly open when Patton got near it, or when Remus shoving a fistful of bugs in his face had shifted from trying to scare Patton to a genuine excitement at the new little… scuttle friends he’d found to add to the collection. Maybe it was the time he’d accidentally walked in on Remus sleeping- and yeah, it was always a surprise to see someone as chaotic and bursting with energy as Remus sleeping- and found him clutching a plush octopus to his chest, stitched up and patched where it had been ripped before.

Or maybe it was those times when Remus would find wherever Patton happened to be- sitting on the couch with a nice book, or stirring something in the kitchen, or at work trying to corral some of Thomas’s more runaway emotions- and suddenly Remus would be curled up at his side, clutching at Pattons arm, or his shirt, and not say a word. And slowly, piece by piece, Patton learned how to help Remus- push Remus too much, and you’d get snarls and scratches and screeching while the lights flickered. But a little nudge here, and a guiding hand here, and somewhere it wasn’t too bright and wasn’t too quiet- he’d found that Remus hated silence far more than he ever hated sudden or apprasive noises- and it would… help. Not magically make everything better all at once, but help.

Maybe it was that day Patton hadn’t been able to make it out of bed- everything had been too heavy. His arms, his legs, his eyelids, his thoughts. All he could do was wear his cat hoodie and fiddle with the edges of the sleeves, wondering if he should be feeling more… more something than the icky, heavy stone settled somewhere deep in his heart. When he’d been screaming at himself to get up, to do anything, as he watched the shadows slowly crawl their way across his wall. And then there had been a knock at the door- a quiet, timid knock, and then there was someone in there with him. A hand on his forehead, and then his cheek, and red eyes looking into him. And arms wrapped around him, and a warmth that made him shutter and cling to it, running his hands down fabric covered in glitter that clung to his hands and made them sparkle like a scattering of stars.

Maybe it was the time Remus had snuck up behind him once, in the living room, and grabbed Patton suddenly to spin him around in a circle. And Patton had just laughed, and called out Remus voice in a voice as cheerful as a bell, and everyone had suddenly looked at him like they suddenly realized something Patton didn’t. Maybe it was the way Remus would act around him- loud noises and sudden movements and grabbing his hands to bolt to the other side of the house just to watch Remus throw himself headfirst into the trash- maybe it was the way Remus never treated Patton like he’d break if he rose his voice a little too loudly.

Maybe it was the time Patton had casually mentioned that he didn’t really know how to dance, and Remus had laughed, all high pitches and barking, and said that it was easy. That he could teach Patton lickity-split. Then he’d licked Patton’s cheek. And Patton had accepted, cause why not, while rubbing the drool off his face with the back of his hand, and when he’d finished doing that he’d looked up to realize they were suddenly in a ballroom. And Remus had taken his hands, and led him through the basic steps- except Remus had two left feet, probably literally, and Patton couldn’t help but think of an old saying about the blind leading the blind. And Patton had laughed, and pulled Remus closer, and hummed an old disney song as he fell in rhythm. And maybe they weren't the best dancers- maybe they stumbled and occasionally tripped over each other, and had to brush themselves off and start from the beginning- maybe they weren't perfect. But maybe.

Maybe.

Maybe sometimes you’ve cleaned out the cobwebs, and rebuilt the walls, and fixed the frame- and you make something new, and better, and something you cherish so much more than all the old things you miss.

Maybe you can make something magical, between a joke-cracking side and a side-spliting Duke. Maybe

Only one way to find out.

#sanders sides #remus sanders #patton sanders #intruality #remus being remus

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robocops-a-christ-allegory · 1 year

Note

btw, do you have a peacemaker reading list or recommendations?

Sorry about taking a second to respond, YES I do basically have a Peacemaker reading list because hes a really easy character to read due to having had like 50 appearances before this current TSS/Peacemaker Show Induced Revival period hes in now.

Basically my Recommended Peacemaker Readings (in chronological order:)

Vigilante 1983 issues 36-38, 41-43 (I know you've already read these ones but have to include them)

Peacemaker 1988 (warning this one was written to be purposefully offensive and edgy and it shows. As unhinged as most late Vigilante 1983 issues)

His appearances in the Janus Directive crossover of suicide squad and checkmate:

Suicide Squad 1987 issue #27

Checkmate! 1988 issue #16

Suicide Squad #28

Checkmate #17

Suicide Squad #29

Checkmate #18

Suicide Squad #30

Then after that its

Checkmate! 1988 issues 19-26, 28, 32-33

Eclipso 1992 11-14

Blue Beetle 2006 issues 1-25 (he first starts appearing in issue 3 but really I recommend just reading this whole first chunk of BB2006, Peacemaker appears in it pretty consistently since hes a supporting cast character. He appears post issue 25 too but the writers changed and the new one made him a racist again but tried to pass it off as some "haha thats just his opinions!" shit and it pissed me off so bad I never continued reading after that, so I cant really recommend it)

I'd also recommend showcase 93 issues 6-11 which I would put between his checkmate appearances and Eclipso, but those were written by writer Mike Baron who is like a racist alt right dickhead and I think it shows just enough in those issues to make me personally uncomfortable with them. The art is too good for me to just ignore them though it is some of the best Peacemaker's ever drawn in there.

Aside from all that for current Peacemaker his story in Strange Love Adventures 2022 is everything to me.

He was also written well in suicide squad 2021 but suicide squad 2021 kind of sucks otherwise and I havent read it since it was dropping so also cant recc it in good faith. His appearances in Swamp Thing were good but also part of Suicide Squad 2021. Ok thats it thank you

#I hope this isnt too rambly sorry THANK YOU for asking for recc's I love talking about Peacemaker

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nevertherose · 3 years

Text

One Hundred Seconds to Midnight- Chapters 9-13

"All Roman wanted to do was take Logan on a Doctor Who LARP within the Imagination.

But with Thomas's Sides at their figurative breaking point after the disastrous wedding, the Imagination may just have a few ideas of her own..."

Chapters 1-8 are here.

Chapters 14-17 are here.

Here's the next chunk:

Chapter 9- Gridlock

“This Martha. She must mean an awful lot to you.”

“Hardly know her. I was too busy showing off. And I lied to her. Couldn’t help it, just lied.”

Patton felt strange.

Well, he’d felt strange for a while now, ever since this odd little adventure had started, but it grew worse the further into the asylum they traveled. His limbs were strangely heavy, he couldn’t seem to catch his breath, and there was a chill in his core that no amount of self-hugging could alleviate.

And he kept having these flashes of…well, anger. Like, sure, being stuck in the Imagination in the middle of the night was a tad frustrating, but that was no reason to feel this…this blind, red rage that welled up from time to time.

What was wrong with him?

Patton needed a hug.

He wondered if Janus would give him one, if he asked.

Eh…maybe not. Janus was many things: smart, cunning, arrogant, fiercely caring…but huggable wasn’t a word that immediately came to mind.

The ladder from the escape pod had led down a long shaft that dumped out into an empty metal hallway; dark, rusty, and with water dripping everywhere. Janus had found a computer terminal and scanned the area, plotting out a route that would lead them around various knots of warring aliens. He located Remus’ tiny prison almost immediately, and ignored it in favor of scanning for a teleportation chamber.

“If I have to be in this stupid adventure,” he informed Patton tersely, “I want my damned TARDIS back.”

“I’m not arguing with you.” Patton spread his hands.

“We’ll have to cross four hangers and a maze of corridors to reach the room,” Janus mused, irritatedly rubbing the scales on his face. “And it looks like most of this area is still infected with the nano cloud.”

“I know,” Patton whispered as Janus strode off.

Patton would feel a lot better about their chances if this hadn’t been the fifth time they’d had this exact conversation.

One empty hanger and two hallways later, Janus stopped at another terminal.

“Janus…” Patton started.

“There’s Remus’s prison,” Janus muttered, staring at the screen and ignoring him completely. “But where’s…ah. There’s a teleportation chamber about three hangers away. We should head for that.”

“But…”

“No, Patton, we are not going after Remus first.” Janus sighed, and itched his face. “If I have to be in this stupid adventure—”

“You want your damned TARDIS back, I know!” Patton yelled.

Janus blinked at him, and narrowed his eyes.

“You never swear.”

I never feel like this. Why am I acting like this?

“And you are being affected by the nano cloud,” Patton said hurriedly. “We keep having this same conversation over and over! I am begging you, please wear the bracelet for a while. ”

He held out his wrist, which Janus absently took in his hands. His mouth compressed, so hard that the skin around the snakelike slit grew pale.

“Or let me go ahead of you, and try to deactivate the cloud,” Patton offered.

“You wouldn’t be able to hack the system.” Janus shook his head. “I have all the Master’s knowledge, which is why I can.”

“Then you take the bracelet and do it!”

“We’re not splitting up, Patton.”

Patton growled softly and turned away, walking in a small circle to calm himself down.

“You…just…I am getting really frustrated with you, mister,” he sputtered. “Take. The. Bracelet.”

“I’m tough, Patton. I can handle it.” Janus smiled bitterly. “Maybe the cloud is messing with my memory a little, but it will never be able to actually convert me.”

Patton frowned…or tried to. His facial expressions felt weirdly stiff.

“Why’s that?”

“You remember the whole ‘how do you make a Dalek’ schtick?” Janus’s grin grew wider, fangs flashing behind his lips. “‘Erase love, add anger’? Well. My heart is already cold and hard. There’s no love to erase, and thus, nothing to convert.”

Patton felt his own heart break, to hear Janus say such awful things about himself…but…maybe he had an inadvertent point. Patton knew that he himself, on his best days, was a squishy ball of excessive caring and emotion, prone to bouts of both effervescence and melancholy (or so Roman had described him, once). Nothing to be ashamed of; as Thomas’s heart, that’s just who Patton was.

But as such, maybe…maybe the nano cloud really would have an awful, immediate effect on him. He already felt so strange…

Maybe Janus was right to insist he keep the bracelet on.

Well. Patton put his hands on his hips, huffing. That doesn’t mean he gets to talk bad about himself.

“Hello?” a strange, almost furry-sounding voice called.

Two aliens rounded the corner behind them. They looked almost human, except for their furred bodies, large, feline ears and catlike faces. They moved hesitantly, with inhuman grace, their long tails flicking nervously behind them.

“Ooh, Janus, they’re Catkind!” Patton gasped softly, clasping his hands together. “I always wanted to see one up close…”

“But where the hell did they come from?” Janus groused. “We were just in that corridor…and also, may I remind you that you’re allergic?”

“Hello there!” Patton called as the Cat People approached, ignoring Janus’s eye roll. “Where did you come from?”

“I’m not sure.” The tabby-like Cat Person rubbed their furred hands together. “One moment we were in our hover van, watching the newscast as always, and then…oh!”

The Cat Person’s eyes widened as they drew up to Patton. Janus quickly stepped between them and lifted his hands.

“It’s okay, we’re lost here, just like you,” he said smoothly.

“Well. I guess strange times make strange bedfellows, or something like that,” the tabby Cat joked, flashing a mouthful of feline teeth.

“Isn’t that the truth,” Janus crooned. “You were saying…?”

Patton was beginning to sense, more and more, that Janus was actively, purposefully hiding something from him.

But now wasn’t exactly a good time to ask.

“We were watching the TV,” the second Cat Person said. They were shorter, their voice and fur color both lighter than that of their companion, and they wore a sling pouch across their body. “And something flickered across the screen; I can’t remember exactly what it was. A gray face, or…” They shrugged, furred shoulders rippling. “And then we were just…here.”

A tiny face popped out of the sling as they spoke. It meowed, and Patton let out a very undignified squeal.

“Is that a kitten?” he all but squeaked, holding hands up to his face. It was so cute!

“Oh! Yes.” The pale Cat smiled down at the sling. “Our six babes. They sleep better when I keep them close.”

“Can I pet them?” Patton was practically vibrating. “Pretty please? I’ll be very careful.”

The Cat frowned, exchanging a glance with their partner, but carefully extracted a kitten and cradled it. Patton ran a trembling finger down its spine and cooed when it started to purr.

Janus, meanwhile, was stroking his bottom lip.

“Catkind…hover van…were you on the Motorway in New New York, by chance?”

The tabby Cat frowned. “Well, of course.”

“The Gridlock episode,” Janus said quietly to Patton. “Which was set in the far future, if I recall. But where…or I suppose, ‘when’…does the asylum episode fall within that timeline?”

Patton shrugged. He didn’t have Logan’s or, he supposed, Janus’s patience for untangling complex plot threads in TV shows, and time was so wibbly wobbly within the Doctor Who universe anyway. Plus, knowing “when” the Cat People were from didn’t explain how they spontaneously ended up here, in this hallway.

They’re just…here, like that Tivolian in the escape pod. Sadness rushed through him. The asylum was no place for innocent people like this, especially a couple with babies!

“If I may,” the tabby Cat said as their partner resettled their kittens in the sling. “Where did the two of you come from? And where are we?”

“Ah, well, that’s a rather long story,” Janus said. “We—”

“Ah-ha! More intruders in our quadrant!”

Six or so squat Sontarans, all helmeted and bristling with blaster rifles, flooded into the corridor. The two Cat People froze, eyes growing wide.

“Terminate them,” the Sontaran leader shouted, pointing. “For the glory of Sontar!

“Invasion of the Potato People,” Janus snarked, fangs flashing, as he flicked a setting on his sonic laser. “Just what we need.”

The aliens raised their guns.

“Now, er, fellas,” Patton tried, raising his arms. “There’s…there’s no need for violence. Can’t we all just, uh, get along?”

“The Sontaran Empire does not take orders from your kind, metal scum!” the lead Sontaran snarled. “Fire!”

“Run!” Janus shouted, seizing Patton’s arm and shoving the two terrified Cat People ahead of him.

There was a confused, mad rush through a half dozen corridors, dodging blaster fire, as Janus occasionally fired back with his laser and stopped to hack closed doors as they encountered them.

The clomp of boots and chanting echoed behind them.

“Sontar-ha! Sontar-ha!”

At one junction, the Cat People peeled off down a smaller random hallway before Patton could even protest.

“Splitting up is safer! We can’t worry about them!” Janus yelled, yanking Patton a different direction. That corridor ended in a door that Janus couldn’t seem to hack, and they had to backtrack to a tiny alcove, folding themselves inside and catching their breath.

There was barely enough room for the two of them.

Janus pressed one yellow-clad hand against Patton’s chest as they waited, warily, for the bootsteps and yelling to pass, their breaths filling the space. He was so close that Patton could count the individual scales on his cheekbone and the green flecks in his yellow slitted eye. Unfamiliar facial hair…familiar, hooded gaze.

It occurred to Patton, suddenly, that he’d never stood this close to Janus before. Close enough to feel his slight warmth, to breathe in the spicy, subtle aroma emanating from his clothes…

“Did you know you smell like cloves?” Patton blurted out when the corridor was silent again. It had been such an odd thing to notice.

It also wasn’t unpleasant.

Janus didn’t acknowledge that, but instead massaged his temples.

“Ugh, my head is killing me.”

“Say…” Patton narrowed his eyes as he realized he was looking down at the other Side. “Aren’t I shorter than you? In the mindspace anyway.”

If Patton hadn’t been looking for it, he might have missed the way Janus’s eyes widened infinitesimally.

“Well.” Janus shrugged, all expression gone. “I hadn’t paid much attention.”

Liar.

Something stone-like settled in Patton’s stomach.

“No, you’re definitely supposed to be taller,” he said, more firmly.

Deceit.

“If the Imagination altered our clothes coming in, surely it could have altered our heights.”

Janus’s voice was as smooth as ever, and for a moment, Patton hated how easily the snake-faced Side did this. The unfamiliar anger at the back of his mind swirled.

Deceit, come on.

“Well, then why didn’t I sneeze when I pet that kitten?” Patton demanded. “You yourself pointed out that I’m allergic.”

“Kittens don’t produce the protein that triggers an allergic reaction.” Janus’s eyes went distant for a moment. “I do hope that couple found a safe place to hide.”

“Gosh, yeah, me too…” Patton murmured, and then frowned. “Oh, no you don’t, mister, you’re trying to change the subject! I wasn’t allergic to the parents, either; explain that!”

Janus shrugged, still infuriatingly calm.

“Maybe Catkind as a whole don’t produce ordinary feline dander.”

“Why won’t you just tell me what it is you’re hiding!” Patton snapped, grabbing the other Side’s shoulders and raising a hand…wait.

What…am I doing?

Janus had paled, and the spark of actual fear flashing in his eyes was enough to snap Patton out of…whatever that was. He stared at his hands and for a moment, he swore he saw…

But then it was gone.

And Janus had pulled away, stepping out into the now-empty corridor.

“We should keep moving,” he threw over his shoulder, jacket flapping as he stalked away, leaving Patton to stumble after him.

“Janus.”

Janus’s shoulders flinched but he kept walking, his boots clacking harshly on the concrete floor.

Patton hurried to catch up.

“Janus!”

The snake-faced Side turned a corner, taking him out of Patton’s line of sight for a moment. Patton broke into a run, rounding the corner and almost crashing into him.

He’d stopped, and was typing away at yet another terminal.

Patton realized they were back at the door from before, the one Janus hadn’t been able to hack. Muffled shrieks and shouts echoed through the thick metal from the other side.

“Almost got it,” Janus muttered, absently rubbing his head; hadn’t he mentioned a headache earlier? He’s always concealing things. I wish he could just…but Patton still felt shaken by what had happened earlier, so he decided to let it go for now.

Best to avoid another quarrel.

“Are you sure we want to go this way?” he said instead. “It sounds like a battle on the other side.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Patton.” Janus waved a hand, not looking at him. “I already looked. It’s just some people milling around; they likely won’t even notice us. And the teleportation chamber we need is on the other side.”

Patton frowned, and hunched to peer through the smudged rectangle of glass on the door. It was difficult to make out specifics, but he definitely saw blaster fire, and knots of very large aliens running back and forth.

“That is not just people, J—” he started, but then the door slid open and Janus was already striding through.

“—Janus, no!” Patton yelped and followed.

That door, it turned out, had been blocking a great deal of noise. Yelling, clanging, blaster fire hitting metal, horribly familiar robotic voices screeching. Knots of hulking Judoon fought a proper horde of green Silurians, with a few commanding Daleks thrown in on both sides.

It was impossible to tell who was winning, if anyone; or what, if anything, they were fighting over.

Patton caught up to Janus and grabbed his jacket collar.

“See, Patton?” Janus shot him an easygoing smirk that made Patton’s stomach twist in alarm, and waved a hand. “It’s just people.”

“Oh, no, I remember this bit now,” Patton murmured.

He seized Janus’s face.

“Janus Sanders, the nanocloud is altering your perception,” he said, twisting the other Side around. “Look again, look!”

Janus looked, and Patton heard his swift intake of breath.

“EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY! THE CARGO DOOR HAS BEEN BREACHED!”

Several Daleks split off from the battle and rolled toward the two of them, drawing a few curious Silurians along. Patton huffed.

“And now they’ve seen us.”

He again held up his arms, though logically he knew negotiating with Daleks was a worse non-starter than placating Sontarans. Still…it never hurt to try.

A Silurian grabbed one of their neighbors, and pointed at him.

“It has a nano repeller!” they called. “Seize it!”

“Well, that’s new,” Janus snarked.

“Run?” Patton squeaked as more Silurians peeled off from the main battle.

“Run,” Janus confirmed.

They bolted across the hanger and through the thick of the fight.

The pursuing Daleks actually proved to be a useful distraction, charging after them with blasters blazing, drawing enemy fire away from the two Sides. But the pursuing Silurians were faster, and they kept chasing long after the Daleks found other, more engaging targets.

The Silurians tailed Patton and Janus into the adjoining corridor, briefly catching up when Janus had to stop and hack yet another door. The door slid open as green hands scrabbled at Patton’s arms. Janus zapped one with his laser and pulled Patton through, slamming the inside panel with his other hand.

The door slid shut, and Janus fried the controls so it couldn’t be easily opened again.

Patton breathed.

They were safe, again, for the moment.

At least Patton thought they were….until he happened to glance down at his hands.

“Janus!” he yelled shrilly. “My bracelet is gone! Oh no, oh no, oh no…I thought if we didn’t lose it in the escape pod we wouldn’t lose it at all…”

“Patton.” Janus was abruptly in his face, gloved hands gripping his jawline. “Patton, breathe.”

“I’m sorry!” Patton sobbed. “I lost it and now we’re both going to turn into Daleks, Janus, I’m so sorry—!”

“Nonsense.” Janus’s voice grew sharp. “You have nothing to worry about.”

And something…truthy...in the timbre of those words cut through Patton’s rising panic like a slap to the face.

“And why is that?” Patton asked, just as sharply.

Janus hesitated.

He very clearly hesitated, his fingers digging into the nape of Patton’s neck. Patton held his breath.

“Because…” Janus swallowed, his eyes darting away. “Because nobody in this universe or any other could possibly exhaust the well of love that is Patton Sanders’ heart.”

And with that he whirled away, stalking to the raised teleportation platform and sliding under the glass floor.

With an effort, Patton closed his gaping mouth (darn his stiff muscles). He’d never been so certain in all his life that Janus had just lied to him, again…but it was also the sweetest and most vulnerable thing he’d ever heard the other say. It sent a shock of warmth down to Patton’s too-cold toes.

Janus…Janus truly believed that Patton’s heart held too much love for the Daleks to steal?

“Oh.” Patton exhaled, gaze drawn to Janus as he rewired the platform; jacket sleeves rolled up his forearms, sonic held between his teeth and a look of utter concentration on his face.

That strange, and oddly beautiful face.

Oh.

Chapter 10- Silence in the Library

“The shadows are moving again. Those people are depending on you. Only you can save them. Only you.”

“What I want to know,” Roman griped as he and Logan slumped against yet another corridor wall, “is where all these blasted aliens are coming from.”

Ever since giving Remus’s “Silurian army” the slip, they’d encountered one obstacle after another. They’d been pursued what felt like halfway across the asylum by a pair of crafty Saturnynians wanting their nano bracelets; Roman had singlehandedly fought off a horde of Tritovores; Logan had outsmarted a Sontaran troop by trapping them in a small chamber with only one working door; and they had only just outrun a platoon of Judoon.

All with Logan unable to see anything more than five feet in front his face.

Roman, if he was being honest with himself, kind of didn’t mind being Logan’s eyes. Sure, his sword arm was sore from fending off aliens trying to rob them or kill them (Roman fought with the flat of his blade, of course; no need for pointless killing). But having his crush depend on him to see threats coming, and to keep from crashing into things…it was nice to feel needed.

For once.

Plus…Roman could compose entire sonnets on how beautiful Logan’s galaxy-dark eyes were, when they weren’t hidden behind glasses.

“Remus,” Logan called, straightening up. “We could use some help.”

Roman scoffed. “I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”

“If Logan offers to pay in dick pics, I might get something up,” Remus’s whiny voice commented from the wall behind them, making them both jump.

Roman sputtered.

Did his brother really have to keep…was it even flirting, when it was that crude? Roman knew logically he was only doing it to get a reaction, but gosh darn Remus for going straight for his metaphorical heart.

“We are all anatomically the same, Remus.” Logan frowned. “Why you would wish to see my—?”

“Logan, I implore you not to finish that sentence.” Roman flapped his hands.

Logan leaned over to squint at him. And quite apart from Remus's inappropriate commentary, Roman wished he could figure out what that intense, narrow-eyed look Logan kept giving him meant. Right now he was sure his face must be as red as his missing Prince sash.

“It would be helpful,” Logan went on, turning to face the general direction of the wall speaker, “if I could see a current life-form reading for the whole planet. Then we would know which areas to avoid. Remus, is that something you can hack into?”

“Only for you, Logie-bear,” Remus answered. “Or should I say Nina? There’s a terminal with a screen just down the hallway.”

“Remus, I swear…” Roman brandished his sword at the speaker as Logan climbed to his feet.

But Remus only giggled, and Roman didn’t know how to finish the threat without prompting uncomfortable questions, anyway.

The screen showed the whole planet, with life-form density marked in red and notes written in some alien tongue. Logan leaned close, typing in various commands, looking at different areas; his frown grew deeper as he worked.

“Is that, like, a whole lot of red, or do I just not know how to read this thing?” Roman asked.

“No, it doesn’t make any sense,” Logan muttered, mostly to himself. “Remus. Will you read that number to me? Perhaps the Doctor’s command of this language is incomplete…”

“You mean the part where it says there are currently 13 billion life forms on the planet?” Remus said.

“What?” Roman sputtered.

“Exactly. It’s preposterous.” Logan nodded. “Nearly twice the population of humans on Earth. We’d be packed into this asylum like sardines, were the population really so high. Perhaps it’s aggregate?”

“Hmm, you know people can aggregate, too, especially during orgies when they f…”

“Remus, while normally I would applaud a creative use of vocabulary,” Logan cut in with a flat expression. “I do not wish to discuss group copulation at this time, or any other.”

Roman, meanwhile ran a hand down his (flushing) face.

“‘Copulation’, my ass,” he grumbled.

“Yes, that is usually how it works among men,” Remus crooned.

“REMUS!”

“Both of you!” Logan snapped. “Enough. Remus, please.”

“Fiiiine. Here’s your stats over a span of weeks.” Remus flashed another chart on the screen. “And here’s months, and years.”

More charts.

“See, this math makes more sense.” Logan reached up as if to adjust his glasses, but dropped his hand when he realized they weren’t there. “A constant flow of new aliens, while a smaller number disappear every day. That is unfortunately as I would expect in such a volatile environment.”

He peered closer to the screen.

“However, nearly eighty percent of the abnormally high life form readings are concentrated in a few clusters around the asylum; mostly in isolated, out of the way places. Remus, can you provide a visual for one of those areas?”

Remus did so, the screen switching to what appeared to be a security feed, pointed at a storage room. A room which was conspicuously empty, except for a few piles of long, white objects.

“Come on, quit fucking around,” Roman complained.

“Language.” Remus’s voice tsked.

Roman scoffed. “Oh, put a maggoty sock in it, Remus; you aren’t Patton.”

“Careful with those metaphors, brother mine, or you’ll start to sound like me.”

“Why you—!”

“Hush!” Logan snapped with a frown. “No, these…these are the correct coordinates. According to this data, there are several million life forms packed into that space.”

Roman and Remus gasped in unison, causing Logan to shoot Roman an alarmed look.

“How big are the ‘life forms’ that chart is picking up?” Roman demanded.

“Way ahead of you.” Remus threw more readouts onto the screen. “But I’ll bet my favorite stick of deodorant that they’re really, really small.”

“They appear to be microscopic, in fact,” Logan’s eyebrows shot up. “And those white objects…”

“Bones,” Roman whispered. “‘A million million life forms, and silence in the library’.”

Logan’s eyes widened. “Vashta Narada?”

“Vashta Narada!” Remus screeched, startling them both.

It took Roman a moment to realize his brother had screeched with glee.

“Ooh, look, there are so many of them!” Remus pulled up a chart of the whole planet, with clusters illuminated in red. Logan whipped out his screwdriver and scanned the screen.

“I did wonder why the Daleks always avoided the shadows, and ooh, look! Bones! Piles and piles of bones!” Remus showed another security feed; Roman quickly turned away. “They’re so clean.”

“I have downloaded the locations of the worst nests,” Logan flashed his sonic. “So we can avoid those areas, too.”

“Well, that’s just boring,” Remus complained. “One of you could surely sacrifice a leg or something. Aren’t you curious to see what your skeleton looks like?”

“Nobody wants to see that!” Roman felt slightly nauseated at the idea.

“Well, and if they did,” Logan added, ever literal, “that is what X-rays are for.”

“The Vashta Narada are his favorite Doctor Who alien,” Roman said in a lower voice. “He talked about that episode for weeks—”

The lights cut out, and the Voice…that’s what Roman had taken to calling it, anyway…mumbled its incomprehensible speech. It had happened several times on their journey now.

“What is that?” he demanded once the lights came back up.

“I think I heard ‘tower’, that time, and something about seconds,” Logan commented.

Roman shrugged.

“I may regret this, but…Remus, what do you think?” he asked with a grimace.

Silence.

Roman sighed. “Typical.”

A blast down the hall interrupted them.

Several Daleks rolled into the hallway, screeching in their room-filling, robotic voices. Roman seized Logan’s arm and pulled them into an alcove, placing his hand over Logan’s mouth when the logical Side started to protest.

“Daleks, super close,” Roman whispered.

He swore he felt Logan shiver in his grasp, and tried not to hyperfocus on the other’s rapid breathing, and heated skin, and…

One of the Daleks rolled in their direction. “INTRUDER! COME OUT AT ONCE!”

Logan pried Roman’s hand away.

“If we are at the scene in the asylum episode that I believe we are,” he said lowly, “then this should be the Dalek that runs out of power. If so, I remember how to defeat it.”

“And if it’s not?” Roman whisper-demanded.

“INTRUDER!”

“Then we will think of something else.”

“But—!”

Logan pulled Roman’s face very close, effectively shutting him up. His dark pupils were wide with adrenaline, his skin flushed with all the running they’d done. Roman couldn’t help it; his gaze flickered to Logan’s lips.

Those well-bitten, unfairly kissable lips.

“Roman,” Logan said softly, the words puffing against Roman’s face. “Do you trust me?”

“Oh, you…you can’t just quote Aladdin at me, Lo,” Roman protested weakly. “That’s not fair.”

“I would not be here to quote it, if you hadn’t gotten us this far. I outwitted the Sontarans; let me handle this.” Logan leaned even closer, and Roman couldn’t move even if he wanted to. “Do you trust me?”

Always, Doctor.

Roman nodded.

“INTRU—der—!”

As if on cue, the Dalek sputtered to a stop just before it reached their hiding place.

Logan shot Roman a devastating smirk and stepped out.

“All right, you rolling tin can.” Logan flicked his wrists and performed a mocking bow. Even half-blind, he was so fully and completely the Doctor in that moment that the performer inside Roman could only swoon.

Well, their Source was an actor, after all. Even his Logic instinctively knew how to work an audience.

“Identify me. Access your files. Who am I?” Logan’s voice dropped. “Come on. I’m tired and blind and just want to go home. Who’s your daddy?”

Roman choked and slapped a hand over his mouth.

“YOU ARE THE PREDATOR,” the Dalek declared.

“And what are your standing orders concerning the Predator?” Logan asked.

“THE PREDATOR MUST BE DESTROYED.” The Dalek attempted to use its gunstick, but only managed to wiggle it around.

“And how are you going to do that, Dalek?” Logan smirked, making Roman swallow another soft noise. “Without a gun, you’re a tricycle with a roof. How are you going to destroy me?”

“SELF-DESTRUCT INITIATED,” the Dalek warned, a light inside its eyepiece flashing red.

“Oh, heck, I remember this!” Roman rushed out to join Logan, as the other pulled out his sonic and lifted the Dalek’s lid.

“Exactly, Roman.” Logan ran the screwdriver along the shell’s insides.

“SELF-DESTRUCT CANNOT BE COUNTERMANDED.”

“I’m not looking for a countermand, dear.” Logan slammed the lid down. “I was looking for reverse.”

The Dalek whizzed backwards, flailing its appendages, its lights flashing frantically.

“FORWARD! FORWARD!”

It sped back into the chamber it had vacated, where several other Daleks waited.

“Run!”

Logan pulled Roman along (nearly running them into a wall; Roman quickly righted their direction), barely making it to the other end of the hallway when the Dalek exploded. Roman pushed them both down, crouching protectively over Logan as heat blasted against both their backs.

The asylum shook.

Grit rained down on their heads.

When it stopped, Roman pulled Logan to his feet and led them back through the newly-cleared chamber, dust still settling in the air. Dalek shells lay scattered, cracked and smoking; he had to guide Logan around them.

(There were a few other…bodies, too, which Roman determinedly looked away from and didn’t mention.)

“Oh my gosh, Roman! Logan!” a somewhat familiar voice shouted.

A Cyberman came barreling across the floor, prompting Roman to raise his sword…but relaxed when he realized it was only Patton.

“Janus, I’ve found the others!” Patton shouted over his shoulder. Roman squinted but didn’t see anyone else. “Boy, am I glad to see you guys!”

“We are pleased to see you as well, Patton.” Logan scrunched his face up in that adorable squint again; Roman caught himself smiling fondly, and swallowed the expression.

“Although unfortunately,” Logan added, “I mean ‘see’ in an entirely metaphorical sense right now.”

“Oh no, Logan, did you lose your glasses?” Patton caught up to them, as clunky and metal and frankly scary-looking as before. “Well, come on. Janus found a teleportation room, and is almost finished rewiring it to get us out of here.”

He led them across the exploded chamber, around a bend, and directly into a room with a raised glass platform, and machinery-covered walls. The platform itself looked half-disassembled, with dozens of wires and components sticking out.

Janus lay, collapsed and unmoving, at the base of it.

Chapter 11- The Power of Three

“I’m not running away from things, I am running to them before they flare and fade forever.”

Patton screeched.

There was no other word for the unholy noise that came out of his mouth, Logan decided. The moral Side-turned-Cyberman rushed to Janus’s collapsed form, shaking him and calling his name.

“I don’t know what happened!” he cried, rocking back on his heels. “He was fine when I left…well, not fine, he hasn’t been exactly fine this whole time, but he was awake!”

Logan knelt beside the downed Side and scanned him.

“He does not appear to have suffered any sort of electrical shock or other accident.” Logan peered at his screwdriver, reading numbers on the tiny screen.

(Yes, it had a readout, something he’d never noticed from the show.)

“Hmm. It would seem that the nano cloud is having an unexpected effect on his serpentine biology,” Logan explained, leaning over to place a hand under Janus’s jaw, and then over his heart. “It is making him too cold.”

“Oh!” Patton’s stance shifted. It was difficult to read his body language in his current state. “So do we need to, like, cuddle him or something? Body heat is good for cold, right?”

“Well I’m certainly not cuddling that viper!” Roman announced, folding his arms.

Patton awkwardly rubbed his head. “I mean…I could do it.”

It was on the tip of Logan’s tongue to point out that Patton would not be warming anyone up with his cold, metallic body…but it was clear he still didn’t know. And if Janus still hadn’t told him, Logan certainly wasn’t going to do it right now.

Patton having an identity crisis would be a distraction they didn’t need.

Roman stared at Patton with narrowed eyes, looking ready to protest. Logan stepped in before an argument could begin in earnest.

“Body heat would not be enough,” he said. “But I believe if I reconfigure one of our protective bracelets to counter those particular effects, he would revive on his own. Of course, that would mean one of us temporarily going without nano cloud protection.”

Patton sighed and rubbed his wrist.

“I’d give up mine in a heartbeat, except I already lost it earlier.”

Typical Patton. Logan bit back a sigh of exasperation. His was the bracelet he'd been hoping to use, as Patton didn't actually need it. Always willing to sacrifice his own wellbeing, and always losing things.

Well, that meant there was only one way to wake Janus.

He’d begun the process of unfastening his own bracelet when a strong, warm hand stopped him.

“Hang on, Calculator Watch.” Roman separated Logan’s hands. Annoyed caramel eyes stared into his own. “Why do you automatically assume you should be the one to give up your only means of protection?”

Logan frowned.

“Of the two of us, Roman, I am the least emotional. Obviously it has to be me.”

Roman let go and paced the room, coming back with determination sparking in his gaze.

“Look, I’m going to be logical here, because I know that’s the one thing you understand,” he said.

“Roman, we don’t have time—” Logan started, but Roman silenced him with a finger over his lips.

Logan noted, absently, how his skin reacted to the touch.

“We have to finish this game before Thomas wakes up, right?” Roman sighed, his eyes flickering down to Janus. “And as much as it pains me to admit it, the snake is smarter than me. We need both brainiacs on this team awake and thinking clearly to get us out of here.”

“Roman, you—” Logan protested.

“We both know I’m the expendable one here!” Roman yelled, pushing his bracelet-ed wrist into Logan’s face. “So just take it and fix him.”

“Falsehood!” Logan shoved at Roman’s arm. “May I remind you that the nano cloud subtracts love and adds anger; ergo, it manipulates feelings. As I have said many times before, and let me know if I lose you, I am not a feeling. I am Logic. It won’t—”

“You are Thomas’s Logic, you big-brained idiot!” Roman got in his face again. “And no part of Thomas could simply lack the ability to feel things. It's not in him. That's why you are not just Logic; you are Logan, and you already have a temper problem. The last thing you need is more anger!”

Logan whipped out his stack of vocabulary cards and flipped through them.

“As they say: ‘pot, meet kettle’,” he snapped, holding one up.

Roman growled, raising his hand like he’d knock the card away, but seemed to realize that would only prove Logan’s point. The hand clenched into a fist, which fell resignedly onto Logan’s chest.

Like a soft shock against his skin.

Logan was quite sure Roman’s touch didn’t always do that.

“Using mine will buy us more time. The conversation will take longer with me,” Roman said through thin, angry lips, staring at the floor.

“Why?” Logan whispered.

Roman’s fist flattened into a palm, still resting against Logan’s chest.

“It’s just arithmetic. It’ll take longer with me because…”

Logan inhaled sharply, and Roman’s suddenly wide eyes came up to meet his.

“It'll take longer with me because we both know, we've always known, that, the basic fact of our relationship is that I love you more than you love me.”

Without even realizing it, they’d been reenacting the fight between Amy and Rory.

Logan placed his own hand over Roman’s, wondering if the other could feel how rapidly his heart was beating. Does…does Roman really believe I care for him less than he does for me?

Well.

Thinking back over their tumultuous friendship, the fights, the insults; he realized he’d given the creative Side every reason to believe that. But then another realization crashed over Logan, which he felt like a physical shock through his system.

Do I…do I love Roman?

Headstrong, stubborn Roman, who knew exactly how to get under his skin with his ridiculous ideas and over-the-top facial expressions and twisty, rapid-fire cleverness. Brave, selfless Roman, who’d sacrificed his own dreams just to ensure their Source could keep a clear conscience.

Roman, with that wild hair and pouting lower lip and those fiery, passionate eyes that made Logan feel warm just from looking into them. He defied all logic, all sense, all attempts to constrain or catalogue or categorize him.

And Logan…Logan absolutely loved him for that.

“So…so it has to be me,” Roman concluded, glaring, finally snatching his hand away.

It took Logan a moment to remember what they’d actually been arguing about. He grabbed at Roman’s wrist as the other began blindly removing his bracelet, both hands held high above Logan’s head.

“Roman, no, you’re…you’re making a mistake,” he grated, as Roman continued to keep his arms out of reach. No matter how he tried, Logan couldn’t budge him; the other Side was much stronger.

“Yeah?” Roman succeeded in unsnapping his bracelet. “Well, get a pen and get in line, Specs. I have a list.”

He thrust the device into Logan’s hands and stomped away, avoiding Patton’s questioning gaze.

Logan shook his head, hand tightening around Roman’s bracelet until the edges bit into his skin. Stubborn.

So, so stubborn.

Like you, a quiet part of his mind whispered. He’s your equal, your check. That’s why you like him.

…and that’s why it could never work.

He exhaled, resigned.

Then he pulled out his sonic, and set about reprograming the bracelet to wake Janus.

Chapter 12- A Good Man Goes to War

“Good men don’t need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.”

Janus awoke with a pounding headache and a frayed temper. He sat up, digging at his face so hard he dislodged a scale. Irritably flicking it away, he saw that Patton had managed to find both Logan and Roman.

Good. That means we can all get out of here.

“Janus—” Patton started, but Janus held up a finger.

“Do not.”

He stood up, swaying a little, hating the way they all clustered around him.

“Stop hovering, I’m fine,” he grumbled, waving them away. Aside from the headache, his body felt stiff and sluggish…probably similar to how Patton feels, he realized, which did not help his sour mood.

“What happened to me?” he demanded, flexing his hands.

“The nano particles caused your internal body temperature to drop too quickly,” Logan explained. “Which, due to your unique biology, caused you to pass out. Your reflexes may be impaired for a few minutes as the bracelet continues to counteract the effects.”

Janus glanced down at his wrist, noting the bulky black bracelet with its cheerfully blinking light. Who…? Not Patton, his was lost; so probably Logan…but no, Logan still wore his. But that leaves…

Sure enough, both of Roman’s wrists were bare.

Janus raised an eyebrow, but the princely Side refused to meet his gaze.

Whatever.

“I am getting us off this rock and back to our TARDISs,” Janus groused, stalking to the abandoned panel and picking up the wire cutters he’d found. “Feel free to either help, or preferably stay the hell out of my way.”

“Ooooh, Jan Jan sounds a widdle angwy.” Remus’s sing-song voice crackled over a loudspeaker. “Pretty soon he’s going to try and kill you.”

“That does it!” Janus whirled and threw the cutters at the wall, eliciting a startled noise from Roman when they narrowly missed his face. “Logan, you reprogram the damned panel. I am going to deal with Remus.”

“Oh no, I’m so scared!” Remus gushed, not sounding one bit scared.

Janus marched to the chamber door, only to be stopped by Roman’s outstretched arm.

“Move,” Janus growled, clenching a gloved hand.

Roman didn’t budge.

“What are you even going to do?” he demanded. “If this is like the episode, then he’s already a Dalek and we can’t exactly bring him along for a ride.”

“I’ll figure it out when I get there.” Janus knocked Roman’s arm aside. “Perhaps we’ll get lucky, and seeing him in person will be enough to satisfy the Imagination. We have to at least make the attempt.”

“Well, then I’m going with you!”

Janus stopped at that, turning slowly to face Roman.

“Why?” he said flatly. “Surely not because you crave the pleasure of my company.”

Roman mirrored Janus’s folded-arm stance.

“Maybe I don’t trust you.”

“Because you haven’t already made that crystal clear.”

“And maybe I have my own score to settle with my brother,” Roman added in a louder voice, glaring around the room as though waiting for Remus to butt in.

For once, Remus did not.

But maybe that was because the Voice chose that moment to override the comms again, dimming the lights and rattling off its garbled message. Logan narrowed his eyes, Patton cocked his head, but Roman simply looked annoyed.

The Prince does hate to be interrupted when he’s picking a fight. Janus rolled his eyes. Or maybe it’s the nano cloud, which would serve him right…

“You know,” Patton commented, once it was over. “That weird little speech almost sounds like Virgil, when he gets really upset and his voice goes all deep and layered.”

Janus’s eyes widened and he inadvertently met Logan’s shocked gaze.

It did.

It sounded very much like Virgil’s Tempest Tongue, and Virgil had been inexplicably missing from this entire adventure, and why had none of them made that connection?? Once again, Janus found himself both impressed and unsurprised that Patton had been the one to put the pieces together.

“If that’s true,” Logan began.

“You know it is,” Janus cut in, a little sharper than he meant to. Logan held up his hands.

“I was not disputing the validity of Patton’s claim,” he said.

“Uh, overprotective much, snake?” Roman said with an eye roll, making Janus’s scales bristle and his nostrils flare.

“If that is Virgil, and Patton is correct; it seems very likely,” Logan enunciated, still holding up his hands. “Then he is part of this LARP, and has been the entire time. If reunification is indeed the ultimate goal, we will need to locate him as well, in order to meet the Imagination’s requirements.”

“Well, I’m not fighting my way back through this goddamned, alien-infested haystack to look for one overdramatic, anxious eyeshadow palette,” Janus declared, turning toward the door again. “Not without my TARDIS. Virgil can sit on his moody ass and wait.”

“Language!” Patton called after him.

Roman, more annoyingly, followed; surprisingly quickly, given his short-skirted outfit.

“Mixed metaphors aside,” the creative Side said as Janus stalked across the exploded chamber. “I still demand to know what you mean to do when we reach my brother…will you slow down?”

Janus stormed into a far corridor, making a sharp left and leaving Roman to stumble along afterward. Two lefts, a right, a straight shot through Intensive Care and we should find Clara’s…or rather Remus’s…chamber.

“Come on,” he threw irritatedly over his shoulder. “Or is Mr. Really Obviously Muscular And Nice having a hard time keeping up? What are all those muscles for, anyway?”

“Don’t you dare bring up that courtroom right now, Deceit,” Roman said darkly, still trailing behind. “Don’t you dare.”

“Still refusing to use my name, I see,” Janus snarked. His fast, angry footfalls echoed on the concrete floor.

“Show me where you’ve earned the right to be called anything except what you are, Deceit,” Roman spat. “I can wait.”

Janus stopped and whirled, coat flaring, almost causing Roman to collide with him. He thrust a gloved finger into Roman’s face.

“You don’t get it. You still don’t get it, because you are too spoiled, entitled, and self-absorbed to even attempt to understand another Side’s point of view.”

Janus started walking again, ignoring the pinched, insulted look he knew Roman was giving the back of his head.

“And what exactly am I supposed to understand?” Roman demanded, catching up.

“Why do you know my name at all, W-R-O-M-M-I-N?” Janus asked.

Roman exhaled carefully, closing his eyes for a moment.

“Ignoring that obvious bait, we know your name because you told us.”

“Exactly! I told you!” Janus paused just outside the Intensive Care ward, facing Roman fully. “You know Deceit’s true name because Deceit willingly revealed it.” He let his voice drop. “Now why do you suppose he did that?”

“Stop referring to yourself in the third person like some creepy, two-faced Elmo doll,” Roman groused. “Obviously you wanted to manipulate Thomas into trusting you for some nefarious purpose of your own.”

“Oh, for—!” Janus exhaled, barely resisting the urge to beat his head against the wall. “I could have told Thomas my name any time I pleased, if his trust was the only thing I wanted.”

Roman smirked. “Ah-ha, so you admit you have an agenda—”

“I wanted your trust, Roman!” Janus roared, silencing the other. “Yours, and Patton’s. I thought taking my glove off would be enough of a symbolic gesture, and how did you repay me? With laughter!”

Roman just stared.

Janus sighed.

“You were on my side, in that courtroom,” he said in a quieter voice. “Whether you are willing to admit it or not, Creativity and Self Preservation make a strong team for Thomas, and I don’t hate you, Roman.”

Roman scoffed and rolled his eyes, but said nothing.

“I have been trying to be more than just Deceit, to Thomas, to…all of you,” Janus went on. “Given how well our Purposes align, I cannot understand why you, of all Sssides, have been the most resistant to the notion that I am not evil!”

“Then let me enlighten you, Jack the Fibber.” Roman leaned close, eyes ablaze with fury. “Remember that courtroom scenario you just bragged about? The one where you claim I was on your side?”

Janus made a “duh” gesture with his hand.

“Did you conveniently forget that you spent the entire time patronizing me, emotionally manipulating me, and making me look and feel like a fool?” Roman folded his arms. “Because if that’s how you treat your so-called ‘allies’, then I would hate to be an actual enemy.”

Janus frowned. It was true; he had done a bit of twisting Roman around his finger, hadn’t he?

“Nobody trusted me then, and I needed you to help Thomas make the right choice,” he explained. “Your pride and your little rivalry with me make you irrational at times. I couldn’t risk either getting in the way.”

Roman let out a humorless chuckle.

“See, you say things like that,” he gestured angrily, “and then act shocked when I do the honest thing and side with Patton.”

“Which you and I both now know was a missstake!” Janus snapped. He tapped a series of numbers into the control panel by the Intensive Care door, which slid open.

They went in, but Roman, unfortunately for Janus, was not finished.

“And don’t forget the part where you manipulated us all again, by removing Logan and impersonating him,” Roman said.

“Because you and Patton were handling that situation so admirably on your own,” Janus snarked.

“That is not the point! That has never been the point!” Roman waved his arms for emphasis, almost knocking into one of the cells along the walls.

“Even here, now, when I’m trying to have an actual conversation with you,” and he jabbed Janus’s chest, “you’re still trying to manipulate me. The only time you’ve called me by my actual name is when you’re like ‘oh, Roman, woe is me, why won’t you trust me’? The rest of the time it’s all mockery.”

“It’s almost like it hurts when someone refuses to call you by your actual name.” Janus leaned into Roman’s space, baring his fangs. “Doesssn’t it?”

Roman winced. It was a tiny, tiny motion, but Janus saw it.

“Fine. Janus. But lying and manipulation are still wrong,” Roman said in a firm voice. “It doesn’t matter why you do it. It doesn’t matter what mistakes I make, or Patton makes, or even Logan or Virgil make without you. Lying fixes nothing.”

Janus pinched the bridge of his nose. “You are missing the bigger picture—”

“No! Stop pushing me to accept the things you’ve done to me just because you maybe, maybe, had good intentions!” Roman shouted. “As long as you believe deception is a legitimate path to making Thomas do what you want…even when it turns out to be the right call…you and I will never see eye to eye, and I will never trust you!”

Janus’s mouth lifted into a snarl.

“You know what? So be it. I do not have to defend my purpose or my methods to you.” He yanked out his sonic laser and placed it under Roman’s chin, relishing the momentary flare of fear in those caramel eyes.

“I just want to know one thing, oh noble Prince Roman, and be honest. When you were creating this cute little adventure for yourself and Logan, did you really have nothing to do with me being cast as the villain? The Master?”

The last word he cracked like a whip, and it echoed down the long, straight corridor.

“…master?” a staticky voice echoed from one of the cells, and a small yellow light flickered to life on the wall.

Cells that were, Janus noticed for the first time, unsettlingly empty...except for the rows and rows of fist-sized metal spheres along the walls, which began to light up, one by one.

“Uh…” Roman whispered. “What is happening? Where are the Daleks?”

Other voices joined in the chorus of “master, master”, until the corridor buzzed with echoes and Janus’s blood ran cold as ice in his body. The weird, almost childlike cadence was unsettlingly familiar…

“There are no Daleks.” He stared at the spheres, realization crashing over him.

“What?” Roman looked around wildly at the mass of yellow and now red lights, sword hilt gripped so tight that his knuckles were white.

The spheres began to detach from the walls.

“There are no insane Daleks in here,” Janus repeated, his voice rising. “They’re Toclafane! Run!”

He sprinted down the corridor as the first laser blast burst at his heels. Roman yelped, and then they were both running for the far door. A few cells were blasted open, though the little aliens were small enough to slip right through the bars, and the air suddenly swarmed with spiky, fist-sized metal balls.

“What…Toclafane?!” Roman yelled as they ran, dodging blasts. “Why? And why are they shooting at us?”

“The Master betrayed us! Kill the Master!” Metallic spikes whirred.

“They’re shooting at me!” Janus yelled back, shooting a wild blast with his laser over his shoulder. “Or rather, at the Master!”

Laser fire exploded at Roman’s feet, sending him careening into a cell as they ran.

“Well, tell them they have terrible aim!” the Prince retorted.

“Yes, I’m sure they’ll take advice from the character who canonically used and betrayed them,” Janus snarked, zapping a Toclafane and sending it spinning into its neighbor.

They reached the far door and slid to a halt, Janus seizing the control panel to open the door.

“Funny,” Roman said breathlessly, catching up and drawing his sword. “I can relate.”

Janus rolled his eyes as Roman spun to face the oncoming horde of tiny aliens, batting away a few spinning metal spikes.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, use this!” Janus thrust his sonic into Roman’s hands. Roman, to his credit, didn’t argue, but switched his sword to his left hand and readied both.

“Remus!” Janus shouted, focusing all his attention on the door’s keypad. “A little help would be appreciated.”

Behind him, he heard his sonic buzz and the sound of Roman’s sword crunching against something metal. The ozone smell of burnt electronics was starting to hurt his lungs.

“You have to say pleeeeeeease,” Remus’s voice said.

Janus slammed a hand against the panel.

“REMUS, I SWEAR TO APOPHIS I WILL REMOVE EACH ONE OF YOUR ORGANS IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER—!” he roared.

“Which alphabet?” Remus cut in.

“REMUS SANDERS—!”

“All right, all right! So violent. I love it!” Remus crowed. “Here you go.”

The door opened.

They tumbled through, Roman zapping away one last murder ball as the door slid shut again.

Chapter 12- Can You Hear Me?

“I’m still quite socially awkward, so I’m just going to subtly walk towards the console and look at something. And then, in a minute, I’ll think of something that I should’ve said…that might have been helpful.”

Roman leaned against the door for a moment, letting his eyes adjust to the bright white light that filled the circular chamber. Compared to the dimness of the rest of the asylum, it was downright blinding.

“IT’S ABOUT TIME,” a harsh Dalek voice rasped, making both Roman and Janus jump and whirl.

A Dalek sat, motionless and menacing, at the far side of the room, bound in layers of chains. Its casing was green with silver trimming, and it wiggled its green-glowing eyestalk in a way that was almost…suggestive.

“I suppose that’s you, Remus?” Janus asked, visibly relaxing.

Roman sheathed his sword and realized he still had Janus’s sonic, which he tucked against his wrist. As little as he liked the unchivalrous weapon, he didn’t feel like handing it back over just yet.

“IN THE FLESH. BUT NOT REALLY.” Dalek-Remus burst into metallic giggles, sounding all the more bizarre coming from the killing machine he currently inhabited.

He probably likes being a Dalek, Roman thought sourly.

“ZAP MY CHAINS, MASTER JAN.” Remus wiggled, attempting to move. “AND LETS GO FIND THE EMO.”

Janus pulled a face.

“You…actually want to come with us?” Roman raised an eyebrow.

“THAT IS WHAT I SAID.”

Roman scrubbed a hand through his hair. He hadn’t considered what they would do if the dream didn’t end once they actually found Remus, and he definitely hadn’t considered the possibility of Remus actually wanting to be rescued. He’d assumed his brother was just, well, being himself. Taunting them, testing them, before fucking off (sometimes literally, ick) to do his own thing.

“I had hoped the scenario would end once we reached this room,” Roman confessed aloud, side-eyeing Janus.

Janus scoffed. “Well, it didn’t. Any other bright ideas, Creativity?”

“Well, we can’t take him,” Roman began, and startled backward when Remus screeched.

“EXCUSE YOU!”

“I’m sorry, Remus, but you’ve seen this episode! This is where your involvement in the story canonically ends.” Roman threw his hands up. “If we bring you along, it could mess up all the parameters we’ve established so far. And if finding you wasn’t enough, that means Specs was right; we really do have to track down old Panic at the Everywhere before the Imagination will let us go.”

“And since we haven’t the faintest idea where to start, we’ll need our TARDISs.” Janus walked back to the door and sighed. “We’ll have to run the Toclafane gauntlet again.

Roman cracked his neck. “I’m ready if you are, snake.”

“I’ll have my sonic back first.” Janus held out a hand. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you trying to secret it away.”

Roman’s mouth twisted, but he handed it over.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

Roman readied his sword. Janus slapped the panel.

Nothing happened.

Frowning, he hit it again, but the door remained obstinately closed. Roman’s stomach sank.

Can’t one aspect of this disaster be easy? Just one?

“Remus, open the door,” Janus snapped.

“WHY SHOULD I?”

Both Sides slowly turned to face the Dalek.

“Exsscuse me?” Janus said, dipping his head to glower.

Remus’s twin head lights flashed. “WHY SHOULD I LET YOU GO?”

“Because we need to end this game, Remus! You know that!” Roman ran a hand exasperatedly down his face. “Are you choosing now to be contrary? Really?”

“EXCUSES!” Remus snapped. “THE TRUTH IS, YOU DON’T WANT MY COMPANY.”

“Remus…that’s not it,” Janus started.

“Oh, that is absolutely it.” Roman folded his arms. “You pride yourself on how many different ways you can gross someone out within the span of five minutes, and then you’re surprised that nobody wants you around?”

“I HAVE BEEN HELPING YOU THIS ENTIRE NIGHT.” Remus rattled his chains; one of them snapped. “AND YOU MAKE PLANS IN THIS ROOM LIKE I’M NOT EVEN HERE. YOU WOULD LEAVE ME BEHIND WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “Like you wouldn’t do the same for a laugh, if it suited you!”

“BUT I DO NOT CALL MYSELF A HERO.”

Roman felt those words like a punch to the solar plexus. He physically recoiled, his grip on his sword tightening.

“Look, Remus—” Janus started.

“I AM EVERYTHING THOMAS FINDS DISGUSTING AND ABHORANT,” Remus continued. “UNLIKE SOME, I DO NOT PRETEND TO BE ANYTHING ELSE.”

That barb seemed to be aimed at Janus, who flinched, and Roman almost felt bad for him.

Almost.

“WHY SHOULD I ALLOW YOU TO LEAVE HERE IN TRIUMPH, JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE THE SO CALLED GOOD GUYS?” Remus surged forward, snapping the rest of his chains, and raised his gunstick. “THOMAS IS SUPPOSED TO REJECT ME, BUT WHY I SHOULD ACCEPT THE SAME FROM YOU?”

The gunstick began to glow.

Roman felt the wall at his back; out of time, out of options, again. What would they do if Remus decided to actually shoot them?

They were trapped in here.

“KILLING YOU WOULD END THE GAME, WOULDN’T IT?” Remus shrieked, shrill even for a Dalek. He rolled forward until his eyestalk was inches from Roman’s face. “TELL ME WHY I SHOULDN’T!”

Like looking in a funhouse mirror.

Roman saw his own terrified face, reflected in a Dalek eyestalk. Is this what I would be like, if I became someone Thomas…didn’t need anymore?

“Maybe you should,” Roman said quietly, the words just slipping out.

Remus stopped. “WHAT.”

“Roman, what the hell?” Janus snapped beside him. He had his sonic aimed at Remus’s headpiece, clearly ready to return fire if necessary.

Roman chuckled, bitterly.

“You Dark Sides always know how to hit where it hurts, you know? You’re right, Remus, I’m not a hero. Thomas even said so. So maybe…maybe killing us really is the fastest way to end this game. Clean reset. Done.”

“Don’t be a moron,” Janus retorted. “Thomas said no such thing. I was there for that conversation, if you’ll remember.”

“Shut up, snake!” Roman bared his teeth. “He thinks it, and don’t pretend like you aren’t the reason; you and my brother both! I knew who I was, and Thomas knew who I was, and everything was fine until you two started showing up with your lies and your lewd grossness and making Thomas doubt everything he is!” He dropped his gaze, eyes stinging. “Everything I am.”

Remus backed up a few inches. “AT LEAST YOU ARE HEEDED.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Roman said tiredly, still biting back tears.

“YOU NEVER HAD TO SHOUT TO BE HEARD. WHEREAS I WILL ALWAYS BE A MONSTER.”

Janus’s face shuttered. “Remus. We’ve talked about this.”

Remus aimed his eyestalk at the deceptive Side. “I AM NOT LIKE YOU. I NEITHER WANT NOR NEED ACCEPTANCE FROM OUR SOURCE, BECAUSE I AM THE INCEPTION AND DEPOSITORY OF EVERYTHING THAT HE FINDS UNACCEPTABLE.”

“But you still want it from us,” Janus finished quietly. “Is that what this is about, Rem?”

Remus said nothing.

Roman glanced between them. Somehow he had a hard time picturing his chaotic brother sitting down and just…talking, especially about heavy stuff like purposes and whatnot. Especially with Janus?

Janus exhaled.

“Honestly, neither of you know how to change, and I have watched it hold both of you back.”

He held up fingers to forestall both their protests, and pointed at Roman.

“You have always bathed in the light with Thomas, and so you’ve never needed the motivation to be better. And you,” he pointed at Remus, “have never been accepted by anyone, and therefore have never had the opportunity.”

“But the clock ticks on, and Thomas is growing up,” Janus went on, beginning to pace. “Which means all of us, including the two of you, must adapt. This whole ‘light Side, dark Side’ nonsense has to stop if Thomas is ever to achieve any sort of peace within himself.”

“EASY FOR YOU TO SAY,” Remus said. “NOW THAT YOU HAVE A SEAT AT THE TABLE.”

“As much as I hate to agree with Remus.” Roman folded his arms again. “I have to agree with Remus. What makes you the expert in how we need to change?”

“I am Thomas’s self-preservation!” Janus snapped, stalking back to Roman. “Adaptability is one of my core functions, because those who cannot change, do not survive.”

Roman frowned. “That seems like an oversimplification—”

“You really want to know why we ‘dark Sides’ have become such a problem for you, Roman?” Janus interrupted. “It’s because you, and Patton, and to a small extent Logan, have kept Thomas trapped in a familiar, oversimplified pattern of thinking, like an ill-fitting jacket bursting at the seams!”

Janus held up a finger. “Virgil was the first tear, lighting the metaphorical flame under your butts to think deeper, think wider, think differently. And when he, too, got too used to squeezing himself to fit into that safe little kid jacket, you got me.”

He smirked.

“You got me, pushing you to understand that the world is bigger than black and white, good and evil, and that sometimes the solutions to problems are not wholly one thing or another. And when you wouldn’t heed my words, you got someone even more blunt.”

He gestured at Remus as he spoke, then exhaled and adjusted his coat.

“We are not evil alien forces creeping about in Thomas’s head, making trouble for no reason, Roman. We have purposes, too. And if you’d take one moment, and use that creative brain instead of lashing out with your fantasy-trope, holier-than-thou, six-year-old mores, I know you are capable of seeing that.”

Roman huffed, and looked away.

The problem was…he did see it.

Maybe he couldn’t have put it in such articulate terms; he wasn’t Logan, after all. But anyone who looked into Thomas’s dejected eyes lately could deduce that the so-called Dark Sides were a symptom of something deeper, not the cause of it.

He just hated when Deceit…fine, Janus…was right, and lately it felt like the snake Side was turning out to be right about a lot of things. If Roman was ever going to change…if he was ever going to be better…he needed to reign in his pride, and acknowledge the truth in Janus’s words.

“The god of doorways, of beginnings and endings,” Roman said quietly. “One face to the past and one to the future.”

Janus blinked, clearly shocked; his snake eye slitted to the merest sliver.

“I am Creativity,” Roman added, enjoying the other’s momentary discomfiture. “Do you really think I’m not familiar with all the mythology Thomas has studied over the years?”

“If you knew what it meant.” Janus spoke barely above a whisper, looking away. “Then why did you mock it?”

Roman pressed his lips together. In all honesty, despite all his posturing, he’d never been proud of how he’d acted that day.

“I was jealous,” he admitted, just as softly. “Thomas needed you, a Side he’s always seen as morally abhorrent, more than he needed me, his…his hero…” he trailed off, staring hard at Remus’s Dalek shell. “What was I supposed to think? What does that make me?”

Janus sighed, deeply, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“It was never a competition. The metaphorical table is big enough for all of us. And I…” he sighed again. “I was wrong, to dig at your insecurities the way that I did. It was unworthy of me.”

Roman gaped at him. “By Odin’s beard. Was that…was that an apology?”

Janus grimaced, and flicked out his forked tongue. “Don’t get usssed to it.”

“GET OUT.”

Both Sides turned to face Remus, who’d been blessedly, unusually quiet up to that point.

“Excuse me?” Roman said.

“I HAVE LOWERED THE PLANET’S SHIELD.” Remus gestured with his gunstick as the door to his prison slid open. “WE HAVE JUST UNDER TWO MINUTES TO GET BACK TO THE TELEPORTATION CHAMBER.”

“Are you crazy?” Roman yelled, drawing his sword as the Toclafane outside swarmed toward the door.

“Kill the Master!”

A distant explosion rocked the asylum, making Roman and Janus stumble.

“IT HAS STARTED.” Remus slammed his body into Roman, pushing him toward the door. “TWO MINUTES, THE PLANET BLOWS UP. TICK TOCK.”

“What about them!” Janus shouted, zapping a Toclafane that tried to breach the doorway and hauling Roman back by one of his denim suspenders.

“I WILL CLEAR THE WAY.”

Remus rolled out into the carnage, firing his gunstick and laughing maniacally.

“EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!”

Laser bursts and smoke clogged the air, Toclafane swarmed and fell in his wake, but finally the little murder balls began fleeing en mass.

Another explosion shook the ground, closer this time.

They ran.

“What made you change your mind?” Janus panted as they rounded a corner.

“THE SCENARIO MUST END.” Remus easily kept up, despite being a tin can on wheels. “THOMAS IS ATTEMPTING TO WAKE UP.”

“What about Virgil?” Roman demanded.

“IT DOESN’T MATTER NOW.”

“You didn’t kill us,” Roman pointed out.

Remus made a grating noise that might have been a chuckle.

“MAYBE YOU DON’T KNOW ME AS WELL AS YOU THINK,” he said. “OR PERHAPS THIS IS MORE FUN.”

The floor shook violently, sending cracks knifing up the walls.

“We have a problem!” Janus, bringing up the rear, shouted as they sprinted down the last hallway. “A big, fiery problem!”

Roman felt scorching heat on his neck and glanced back. His heart dropped; the corridor behind them was rapidly being engulfed in flames.

“This bit seemed so much cooler in the episode!” he yelled, putting on a burst of speed.

“Shut up! Go, go, go!”

Patton was waiting outside the teleportation chamber, his Cyberman head swiveling back and forth. He let out a metallic screech as they approached.

“Don’t shoot the Dalek, it’s just Remus!” Janus shouted, waving his hands. “Get inside!”

They all stumbled in.

Logan crouched by the translucent floor panel, sonic poised, obviously ready to activate the teleport. Roman had never been so happy to see his nerd.

“Patton, Roman, what—?” Logan squawked when Roman grabbed his arm to haul him up on the platform. Remus levitated the last few feet; he was the last one on.

“No time, Specs!” Roman yelled cheerfully. “Step on it!”

An explosion, near and violent, rocked the platform and sent everyone but Remus stumbling into each other. Roman caught himself on Logan’s shoulders…completely by accident, of course.

“Step on…what?” Logan squinted at Roman’s face. “What’s—”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Janus seized Logan’s sonic and pointed it down at the panel, whirring it to life.

Light blasted up from their feet as fire filled the doorway.

Roman braced for a fireball…but the room seemed to disintegrate around them and the awful heat vanished. He sagged against Logan’s back. Soft weight enclosed his arms…sleeves…and he realized his outfit was shifting back into his familiar Princely attire.

They had done it!

“BY THE way.” Remus’s voice warped from a Dalek’s screech to his own whiny tenor. “Whose idea was it to make Patton a Cyberman?”

Stunned silence.

“I’m a WHAT now?” Patton’s shocked voice rang out.

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angelicblackwolf · 4 years

Text

Sander Sides Fanfic: Shenanigans

My first fanfic, please be nice!!

Summary: Logan’s taking a snack break while working on Thomas’ monthly scheduling, but walks into a certain...scenario...that he wasn’t expecting at all though he probably should have.

Word Count: 1388

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Logan looks up to his now ringing alarm clock, informing him that it was time for his bi-hourly work break. After giving a quick glance down at the schedule for the next month (now over halfway done, he notes with a satisfying nod), he pushes his chair away from his work desk and starts preparing to go to the common room. At this point in the day, Patton has probably prepared a small, mid-afternoon snack for everyone, most likely the sugar-filled cookies he’s so fond of baking for the others. Everyone always enjoys it whenever Patton makes anything in the kitchen, all the boisterous laughter and loud bickering always echoes through the Mindscape when everyone is in the common room, and the mayhem had increased near tenfold when Remus had joined in; Janus mainly (thankfully) provided a more quiet contributions to the daily chaos, but still contributed nonetheless.

So it would certainly stand that Logan was understandably a bit surprised at the silence that met him when he left his room. He only furrows his brow in slight confusion before heading towards the stairs and down to the commons. It could be possible that there were currently no occupants in the commons; either not everyone was there quite yet or everyone having already finished the mid-afternoon snacks (Logan was secretly hoping for the former, though if the later had occurred he had a slice of yesterday’s snack--a vanilla cheesecake--hidden in the fridge for his consumption) and when he descends the stairs he is greeted with the dining area and...something that certainly was not the scenario he’d been expecting.

Rather than the typical scene of waving, gesturing arms and heads thrown back in laughter, there were the creative twins, Roman and Remus, half-standing up from their chairs and glaring at each other as if one told the other that they were straight. Everyone else was there too of course, but they were in varying stages of distress.

Virgil’s sitting on the farthest side of the table, half ready to bolt from the tension in the air so he’s halfway leaning out of his chair. Janus was nowhere in visible sight, leaving Patton sitting in the figurative no man’s land with a shaky smile plastered on his face, sitting in front a plate on which the object that was causing such a standoff between the twins. Roman and Remus in question each less than an arms’ reach away from their prize:

The last cookie left from Patton’s double dozen, chocolate-chunk cookies, with both of their hands hovering over said cookie.

No one moved, nor even appeared to breathe, and Logan almost figuratively felt the tension in the air as thick as fog. He nearly jumped at the sudden voice of Roman, low and threatening, as he addressed his current combatant.

“You’ve eaten nearly all the cookies like a pig, you disaster dunce, don’t think I didn’t notice! Let Patton’s final cookie be treasured by someone with more... refined tastes.” Roman’s jabs had only caused Remus to let out a mocking scoff and smirk at his brother.

“Puh-lease, you’ve had more of these goodies than any one of us combined, don’t think I wasn’t counting too, so who’s really pigging out, huh?” Remus jabs back, his fanged smirk only growing at Roman narrowing his eye at the words.

Neither letting up on their intimidation acts nor their hands yielding an inch away from the cookie, with Patton stuck in between glancing at the two twins but trying to keep his gaze firmly on the plate in front of him, not to look at either twin too long so as to not appear to favor one over the other. At the sound of Logan coming down the stairs he glanced up towards the other bespectacled man and gave such a wide-eyed, pleading look at the other male that Logan almost felt compelled to intervene.

Almost.

He stays by the base of the stairs, firmly wanting to stay out of...whatever was happening here.

Logan notices movement coming from the other side of the room and sees Janus peeks out from hiding in the kitchen, having enjoyed his fill of the cookies and had moved his snacking on a small bag of potato chips; very much enjoying the impromptu showdown between the two creative sides with a raised eyebrow.

Patton, realizing that Logan is just going to remain a spectator along with Janus, tries to offer a compromise that, hopefully, wouldn’t end up with rainbow fire and fingernail clippings everywhere (such an occurrence happened when Remus had swiped the TV remote from Roman’s hands and it took nearly two weeks to get everything out of the carpet. Never again.).

Janus ate another chip. Patton takes a quiet breath to slightly ease his nerves before speaking.

“H-h-hey guys, um...why not...ya know...split...the cookie? In half? That way you both--” Patton wasn’t able to finish his sentence before Roman lets out a loud noise of offense that--in what was a silent, tense moment--had the volume equivalent of a bullet going off (that certainly made Virgil halfway leap out of his chair).

“Split the--Patton! I--You would ruin a perfect form of near ambrosia to satisfy this heathen’s endless appetite!? Have you no pride in your craftsmanship? Your passion?? Your--” and it was at this moment Roman realized that in trying to convince Patton to not pull a solemn Solomon, he had taken his hand away from the cookie-grabbing range in order to gesture dramatically as he usually does. And it seemed that Remus realized this at the same time.

The other brother then gives a dangerous smirk, his hand drifting closer to the cookie slowly, almost tauntingly. Roman gave his brother a near murderous glare as he started to stand up even further in his seat, summoning his sword for good measure.

“Remus, I swear, don’t you EVEN--that cookie is MINE!!” Remus stops his slow assault, never taking his eyes off of Roman’s own, smirk still in place.

Janus eats another chip, the crunch echoes in the silence of the room. No one seems to notice.

Virgil is sweating bullets and Patton’s not faring well either, his gaze filtering between the plate in the middle of the table and the twins at mental war with each other.

Logan’s just watching all of this go down and wonders if his study-break snack is even worth it.

Remus is staring at his twin brother dead in the eye as he freezes with his hand just barely hovering over the cookies, so close to his prize and oh god they’re still warm like freshly drawn blood, how can he resist--

But to everyone’s surprise, he slowly but surely retracts his hand from hovering over the plate, maniacal grin downgrading to a tight lipped, deranged grin. Roman, upon seeing his brother’s submission, lets out a huff.

“Well it’s good to know that not all of your brain cells have completely rotted away,” he says, un-summons his sword for a second and-

-and all it took was that one second.

And in just one second, the cookie is swiped off the plate and shoved in Remus’ grinning mouth. In the next second the man is leaping out of his chair and booking it towards the living room while maniacally cackling, not caring that he let his chair fall backwards with a clatter nor the crumbs he’s most definitely spreading all across the carpet, because in the same second Roman’s sword is back in his hands and he’s hot on Remus’ tail, yelling out profanities towards his fleeing brother.

Janus is now on the floor, clutching his stomach from how hard he’s laughing, his bag of chips dropped on the floor next to him.

Virgil face-plants onto the table, his nerves finally crashing so that he didn’t bolt for the stairs like he initially suspected and now too exhausted to even try.

Patton just lets out a sigh of resignation, already making a mental checklist of cleaning supplies he’s going to have to bring out when the twins are done with their fighting that they were currently doing in the living room, given the amount of crashes and thuds coming from that general direction.

Logan just decided that the cheesecake wasn’t worth it and went back upstairs, leaving the others to their...shenanigans.

#sander sides #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #virgil sanders #legit wrote half of this at 3 in the morning #then rewrote and finished the whole thing in order for it not to sound like just drunk rambling

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exhaustedarts · 4 years

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Spreading Like Poison Ch.2

Ch. 1 Ch. 3 Ch. 4

Virgil and Janus have been dating for over a year now, and the fans were demanding a Q&A after it finally was announced.

Janus had gotten a spot near the beanbag chair, which was opposite of Virgil. There was one question for the ‘Anxceit ship,’ as the fanders called it. It was directed at Virgil.

Thomas asked, “Is Deceit a shitty boyfriend to have?” He looked up at Virgil, surprised.

Janus had stood there in shock, his mouth gaping open. The others were put off by it too, but Virgil didn’t skip a beat.

“I mean, I wouldnt say shitty, but he isn't a great one, either… He lies duh, he'siterally the personification of deception, but he also doesn't listen to me. I make a point, he doesnt like it. I don't really get why he always contradicts me, though. Its kind of.. Well, illogical. And I know logic isn’t his forte, so..”

Janus sputtered. “Wh- b- I-”

Patton frowned. “You do do that. I mean the contradiction. Well, I assume also the lying. Maybe you should try to agree with each other more! Agreement is the key to a healthy relationship.”

Roman raised an eyebrow, his hand sliding to his katana. “What do you lie about, Janus?”

Janus felt his sasy, sarcastic video persona crumble. “I- I try not to,” He said, looking around the room nervously. “I’ve been trying not to mess up, honest!”

Virgil shrugged. “It doesn’t really bother me.”

Logan had adjusted his glasses in that, ‘I’m about to spout a few facts,’ way. “It seemed to me that it did seem to bother you, at least a little. In fact, according to recent psychologists, lying in a relationship destroys self esteem, and it develops trust issues between people. As humans, we need to be able to trust someone, and usually someone who is deceptive is someone we don’t need to trust. Perhaps Janus is not the best partner.”

Janus felt absolutely sick. Thomas’s Logic had proved that he was a bad boyfriend. “I- I- I-” He couldn’t force a proper sentence out. After a couple failed attempts, fully aware of the others watching him, he forced out some kind of sentence. “I don’t want to be, I don’t mean to,” He hiccuped. “I’m- I’m so sorry,” he said, and with a choked off sob, he sunk out before he could hear a reply.

The room was silent for a moment.

“He seemed genuinely upset,” Thomas said, shocked. “That wasn’t his lying tone, I think that he really didn’t know he was hurting Virgil like that.”

"The poor kiddo.." Patton said. "I'm gonna go check on him."

"He actually kinda likes to deal with things alone.. learned that the hard way." Virgil chuckled.

"The hard way?"

"Yeah, he hisses at me then ignores me. It's fine though."

Patton made a concerned nose at the back of his throat. "Kiddo, it sounds like a bad relationship. Maybe you guys should break up?"

Virgil shrugged. "Maybe."

Janus sighed heavily. He was looking back at the footage in the present, and he honestly couldn't care less at this point. Virgil had made it evident that he'd fucked up everything. But he loved Virgil! He didnt want to break up with him, and he hadn't brought it up.

At this point, he was just feeling depressed. He didnt really want to do anything anymore unless it was sitting on the couch taking up as little room as possible.

After he had heard Virgil say how he lies and how it made a bad relationship, to ensure he didnt lie, he talked as little as possible.

He had even given up his self care days. Those were the days where he sat in his room in a Scooby Doo onesie, binged all of the What's New Scooby Doo's, and ate an entire pot of Mac n' cheese. Logan highly protested those days, since they were bad for his health, so he just quit them to avoid discourse.

Earlier in the week, he had taken his box of 'special' memories and given them back. Logans old tie, Roman's old sash, and one of Patton's stuffed animals. He remembered presenting them to the sides with a look of shame on his face.

The hardest to return was Virgil's old hoodie. He had been nervous about it for an hour before he had finally worked up the courage. He had said, “I.. I kept this after you changed your style. I know it was weird, but you hated me and.. I didnt know what to do.”

Virgil was silent for a full minute before answering. “Creep,” he said, and hung the hoodie in his closet.

So here Janus was now, laying on his bed and watching the latest Sides episode for the eighth time in a row.

He felt a tug on his navel and he flinched. Someone was lying.

He sighed again, putting his phone away. He needed to get some food, he knew that. But he just couldn’t bring himself to care. So he just laid there, staring at the ceiling.

Someone knocked on the door and Janus groaned. “Come on in,” He said, rolling over.

Virgil opened the door. “Yo, snakeface. Haven’t seen you in a while, so get your ass downstairs before I drag you down.”

“I don't really want to..” Janus’s bed was soft, and he was comfortable and warm.

“I know that we dont need to eat or do anything, but stop being lazy. Its really not the good kind of selfish.” Virgil said pointedly, sitting down on Janus’s bed.

Janus sighed. “But-”

“Just come down before everyone is more stressed out. Remus had a whole cake for breakfast, now hes chasing down the others going, ‘IMMA FUCK YOU’ and you know how to deal with it. Also you should eat something otherwise Patton’ll die from the stress.”

Janus twisted the sheets. “Okay. Um, who let him have a whole cake?”

“He got up and made one at 3 in the morning. It actually looked edible. Then he just started ripping out chunks of it and eating it. Theres frosting everywhere.”

Janus chuckled. Virgil was just sitting there with him for once, and he felt content to just stay like this, with Virgil and his snake plushes. But he had to go downstairs.

“Hey Virgil?” He said, sitting up. “Do you hate me?” He lifted his eyes to Virgils.

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, I was rewatching the QnA thing, and- and the one question about if I’m a shitty boyfriend.. And I was just wondering if you.. if you hate me.” Janus stared into his lap.

Virgil scooched closer, putting his arm around Janus’s shoulders. “Is it because I dont hug you enough? I can be more affectionate!”

Janus’s skin was lit on fire and he smiled softly. “Yeah… this is nice..”

Virgil gave him a light squeeze and stood up. “We can cuddle later. Right now, lets go downstairs.”

Janus groaned and pushed himself off the bed. “Remind me again, why do I have to go?"

"You know how to calm Remus down. Now come onnnn," He tugged on Janus arm like a child, smiling.

Janus laughed. "Okay, okay!" He grabbed his hat and allowed Virgil to drag him out.

#unsympathetic-virgil #chapter 2 #spreading like posion #abused janus #tell me if i missed a tag

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exhaustedfander · 4 years

Text

NFWMB: Part Three

Final chapter, here we go! I’d love to hear what you think!

Word Count: 2,711

Previous chapter

a03 link

Logan blinks awake, a jolt of shock running down his spine as he bolts to a sitting position, realizing he’s no longer in his room, carefully surveying Remus. He’s on the couch in the Commons, a blanket draped over him and pillow having been placed under his head, a position he can’t for the life of him remember getting into.

Amidst the initial surprise, Logan is aware of one crucial thing: the state of Remus’s well-being. He scrambled to shove the blanket off of himself and rise from the couch, only to find himself trapped by Patton suddenly standing in front of him; when had he gotten here?

“Whoa, hey, calm down for a sec, kiddo,” Patton cautions, “I was just making you some breakfast. It’s just about ready.” Logan hadn’t even smelt the distinctive bacon and eggs in the air, somehow, nor had he heard Patton bustling about in the kitchen.

“How – how did I get here? I don’t remember laying down,” he asks, followed by the far more pressing issue, “Is Remus alright? Is he safe? Is he awake?”

“Remus is gonna be just fine,” Patton says, knowing damn well Logan needed that question answered straight away, “As for how you got here, Roman put you here. You fell asleep a little while after you guys talked, and he stayed with Remus. He said you hadn’t gotten rest in god knows how long; you really needed the sleep, Logan.”

“I – I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” Logan says, struggling to remember it.

He recalls watching over Remus and the conversation with Roman that had ensued. He remembers the things he admitted, deeply personal, and steeped in so much emotion. He cried into Roman’s shoulder, for God’s sake, something he never imaged himself doing and is fairly mortifying to recount. And after that… well, that must’ve been when he lost his battle with consciousness and Roman settled him on the couch.

He hadn’t intended to take his eyes off of Remus, at least not for more than a moment or two, and yet he’d done so. Logan can’t help but feel ashamed; it was his job to watch over Remus, at least as far as he was concerned. Despite the growing irritation directed at himself, Logan turns back to Patton, feeling his heart beginning to pound a lot like it had last night.

“Is he awake?” Logan repeats. Patton nods.

“He is.”

“Can I see him?”

“In just a moment or two,” Patton replies softly, but his kind tone of voice can’t stop Logan’s mind from delving into troubling thoughts.

“Why not now?” Logan asks, cursing the desperation that comes through. Patton sighs, though the sound is far more sympathetic than upset, and even if he is upset, it certainly isn’t directed that Logan.

“He and Roman are talking now,” Patton explains, pausing when he hears a timer go off, “And your breakfast is ready. Wait right there and I’ll fix you a plate, okay?” A flicker of surprise runs a course down his spine. Remus and Roman talking? Arguing, sure. Declaring war on one another, understandably, if not expected. But the way Patton phrased it, that doesn’t seem to be the case at all.

“They’re… talking?” Logan asks, getting up and following Patton into the kitchen, who’s currently scoping an egg and a few strips of bacon onto a plate for Logan, as well as some for himself. Virgil and Janus must still be asleep, otherwise, he’d be making them a plate too.

“Sure they are,” Patton replies as though the sentence isn’t at least somewhat alarming, “Here you go, kiddo,” he says kindly, handing Logan his plate.

“Thank you,” Logan replies, setting his food down and taking a seat, watching Patton carefully as he does the same.

“So, they’re speaking? I know Roman said some very interesting things about the state of their relationship but…” Logan trails off, deciding taking a bite of food might account for his silence.

“People have a funny way of surprising you,” Patton responds after a moment once both of their plates. “Lord knows those two have had their differences for quite a long time… and I know I’m not entirely irresponsible for that. I’ve always done what I thought was right, for Thomas, for all of us…” Patton sighs, a soft look in his eyes, “But the fact of the matter is this: I don’t always know what’s right, no matter what I’ve led myself to believe. But, I’m willing to own up to my mistakes.

“I want to change, for the better of myself, and all of us. My views on what’s right and what’s wrong… well, it was a tad bit too strict, to put it lightly, and I think in many ways, Roman latched onto that. I’m sorry, for how strict I’ve been on all of you. And goodness, I’m sorry to you, Logan. We don’t always pay your advice enough attention, and that just isn’t right. I promise this ’ll be a bigger conversation between everyone involved when the time is better suited for it, but really, I’m sorry. I promise I’m gonna try and do better, for all of us.”

“Well… thank you, Patton. I – I appreciate that greatly,” Logan stutters, reeling for a moment. Having received a similar apology of Roman just last night, it’s jarring to hear it from Patton. Hearing him talk about the twin’s fractured relationship, as well as the part he may have played in that is something that surprises him, too.

“Of course,” Patton says, “As for the twins, I think they’re gonna be okay. Maybe not right away, but last night changed things. As horrible as the situation is, I really do think it’s changed both of them for the better.” Logan fails to respond for a moment, lost in thought of all that happened last night. The fear that seems to encapsulate him, even now. The anxiety and doubt, the revelation that has made itself known. It’s quite a lot to handle.

“I hear you did a real good job, protecting him,” Patton says and Logan blinks in surprise. He can’t help but scoff.

“Hardly. Roman’s the one who patched him up. I was… I was quite a mess, all of last night. I still probably am,” Logan says, biting his lip, “All I did was –.”

“Chase a giant monster away?” Patton supplies. Logan struggles to know how to respond. “Roman told me. Sounds like you’re a regular hero, as far as I’m concerned. I’m sure Remus feels just the same.” Logan can feel heat creep up his neck, and with his luck, the flush is probably visible.

“I… I’m not so certain about that.”

“I think you’re cutting yourself a little short, teach,” Patton says, and just by the look in his eyes, Logan can tell that he knows. He doesn’t believe that Roman’s told him, as much of a blabbermouth as he can be, meaning Patton’s come to that conclusion on his own. Meaning he’s that obvious.

“I think you can go and see him now, Lo,” Patton says, and relief blooms in Logan’s chest, “He and Roman have had a good chunk of time together. I’m sure Remus is eager to see you.” Logan can’t help but disagree, knowing that he’s the one who’s desperate to see Remus, but he doesn’t correct the moral side. Instead, he rises to his feet, walking unsteadily through the hallway and pausing at his bedroom door.

He can hear the sound of voices talking on the other side, and to Logan’s relief, they don’t sound angry or heated. Patton’s right… they just seem to be talking, that’s it. Logan almost feels bad, interrupting the new-found peace that’s fallen over the brothers, but he doesn’t know how much longer he can last without seeing Remus and knowing, with the utmost certainty, that he’s going to be alright.

He cracks the door open slowly, the chatter pausing as he steps into the doorway. Roman is sat in a chair across from the bed, and Remus is reclining against several pillows, alive.

“Remus,” Logan begins, though he doesn’t quite know where he’s going, his mouth running unbearably dry. Roman, in some beautiful act of mercy, stands up.

“We’ll talk more later,” he says to Remus, before adding, quietly, “Love you, bro.” Logan can hardly believe what he’s seeing.

“Yeah, love you too. See ya later, shithead,” Remus says as Roman walks away, but there’s an awed tint to his voice that’s impossible to ignore. Roman gives Logan a quick, careful look as they pass each other in the doorway, but in general, the expression seems to say that everything’s going to be okay, and Logan can certainly hope so.

The logical side walks slowly to Remus’s bedside sitting in the chair now abandoned by Roman.

“Hey, Nerdy Wolverine,” Remus says, and Logan’s thankful for it because he still hardly knows what to say, too caught up in the fact that Remus is here and that he’s breathing.

Remus is still a touch paler than he usually is, his hair matted and unkempt. There’s significant bruising to parts of his arms as well as his face, and surely there are more hidden bellow the blankets and layers of clothing. It’s strange, seeing Remus dressed in a plain green T-Shirt, rather than his usually elaborate costume. It’s even stranger to look at him, teeming with life. Logan doesn’t know if he’s ever been so grateful in all his life for something.

“Hello,” Logan manages to get out, but that’s about it before he can feel himself faltering as Remus reaches out weakly, in search of Logan’s hand. It’s clear he’s in a great deal of pain, despite the pain medication he’s on, and Logan can barely stand to think about that as he shies away from Remus’s touch.

“Hey, I want you to hold my hand,” Remus insists, and Logan doesn’t know how to argue with that. He scoots the chair closer, lacing their fingers together.

“How’re you feeling?” Logan asks, cursing himself for not thinking to ask it sooner.

“Like shit,” Remus says, and the answer isn’t surprising, “But hey, I’m still here, right?”

“You are,” Logan says softly, his eyes trained on Remus callused fingers grasping his own, “I – I’m so thankful that you are.”

“I probably wouldn’t be here, if it wasn’t for you,” Remus says. Logan shakes his head.

“I don’t know –.”

“No, really,” Remus cuts in, “Thank you. You fucking saved me, Lo. I’d be… who the hell know where I’d be, but it sure wouldn’t be here with you.” Logan worries his bottom lip.

“Roman’s the one who saved you,” he says, his teeth clenched, “Not me. He’s the one who did so much for you, h-he stitched you. I was practically useless.”

“I wouldn’t call fighting a monster off useless,” Remus says, “You saved me, just as much as my brother did. You rescued me, Logan. Let me thank you for doing that.” Logan doesn’t know what to say, so Remus keeps talking. “Roman, uh, killed it, by the way. Earlier today.” Logan blinks in disbelief. “When in the world did, he have the time?”

“I dunno,” Remus says, “But he says he lured it to the river of blood and drown it.” Remus’s lips curl u into a faint smile, but Logan struggles to return to sentiment. What if Roman had gotten hurt, too? What if something had happened? What if –

“I’m gonna have a pretty gnarly scar, too, so that’s pretty cool. I think –,” Remus pauses, his grip on Logan’s hand tightening, “Whoa, hey, why are you crying?” Logan sniffles, cursing the weak state this love has reduced him to. He used to think of himself as so void of emotion, so cold, but he isn’t that at all. He’s a mess of feelings he can hardly account for and it’s all so much to bear.

“I almost lost you, Remus,” Logan says wetly, squeezing his eyes shut, “I… I don’t know what I would do with myself if that happened.”

“Aw, be careful there, Lo. You’re almost making it seem like you care about me.” Logan bites his bottom lip, peeling his eyes open to look at Remus.

“I do,” he professes, teary eyes burning with sincerity, “I – I care about you immensely. M-more than I know how to express.” Remus’s expression softens at that.

“I care about you too,” he says, before adding, “You know, I always figured I’d end up in your bed one of these days, but the circumstances aren’t really what I’d imagined.” Evidently, Remus was hoping that would elicit a laugh from Logan. It doesn’t.

“You’re so damn reckless,” Logan grits out, trying to get his crying under control, “Think- think of what could’ve happened. I don’t – I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you. I was so scared, Remus… I’m not used to being scared.” The last sentence comes out in just a whisper, but Remus hears him just fine.

“I’m right here,” Remus says, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you, Lo.”

“You’ve – you’ve got to be more careful,” Logan says, “Both of you. I don’t know who’s more careless, you or Roman.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus says quietly, “For worrying you. Jesus, I’m sorry for putting you in as much danger as I did. I swear, I never would’ve done that had I known. We might’ve both been goners if you weren’t such a fucking badass.” Logan scoffs, feeling a blush dust his cheeks.

“I am not a badass.”

“Yes, you fucking are!” Remus insists, “Are you kidding me?! You protected me. You took a damn good couple swings at that thing. I’ve got to see you like that again sometime, in a less life-threatening-situation. Lord knows you’re hot as shit when you’re pissed like that.” Logan lets go of the creative side’s hand, feeling himself begin to tremble.

“R-Remus…” he trails off, feeling the words crumble like dust in his mouth. Luckily, Remus isn’t accepting defeat that easy.

“Roman told me how you watched over me. How you were so protective of me. I hope you know how fucking sweet that is.”

“I… I couldn’t leave you,” Logan says simply, “It wouldn’t have been right.”

“Like hell, you couldn’t. You stayed because you wanted to.” Logan sighs, the expression on Remus’s face unbearably lovestruck.

“Yes.”

“I’ve been crazy about you for a while now, you know,” Remus admits, ever-one to speak his mind, “You’re amazing, Logan. In every way. You’re smart as shit, and sexy, and just so much fun to be around, and –.” Remus is swiftly interrupted as Logan presses their lips together, his hand resting cautiously on Remus’s cheek. The kiss is by no means as passionate or intense as they’re both feeling at the moment, but considering Remus’s condition, they’re making do.

“I love you,” Logan breaths out as they briefly part, “I - I love you, so greatly, Remus. I wasn’t sure if it was true, o-or if I was ever going to have the chance to tell you, but I do.”

“I love you too, nerd,” Remus says, his voice brimming with just as much emotion as he leans in to kiss the logical side again.

“Promise me,” Logan exhales against Remus’s parted lips, “Promise me you’ll be more careful.”

“Lo, baby, you know I can’t –.”

“Promise that you’ll try,” Logan cuts in, doing his best to ignore the response Remus calling him ‘baby’ elicits.

“For you?” Remus asks a smile etched into his face, “For you, yeah, okay. I can try. I can do that.”

Their lips meet once more, and relief washes over them in slow, even waves. Logan allows himself to drown in the calm, to pour over the feeling of peace that’s overtaken him. Remus is here, he’s alive, and he loves him. Remus and Roman’s relationship seems to be on the mend, Patton said that they’d try and be more mindful of Logan’s contributions, Remus loves him.

Slowly, the doubt and terror that had settled over him disperses, and he gives in to the hope that’s suddenly surrounded him. He gives in to Remus and all that he is. He gives in to love.

=+=

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