#And then he’s like ohhhh when he realizes it’s a joke and starts playing along with the girls

[valoflunar]

Barty somehow got a perfect body figure and Marlene,Mary,Lily,Dorcas and Pandora joked abt how they were jealous and started to jokingly ask him for fitness and body figure tips and barty is just like “??? What’s happening”

[paleio]

dude.... DUDE...... DUDE

OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY

FIRST WATCH HIGHLIGHTS/GENERAL EMOTIONS

> the attic looks IDENTICAL to how i imagined it in my head. i literally screamed and punched the arm of my chair

> every single thing percy says to the oracle. the halloween decoration line made me go hee hee.... that is my boy :)

> OH AND THE VOICE CRACK...... IM GONNA THROW UP HES SO PRECIOUS TO ME

> love love love the way they split the prophecy into 2 scenes. fucking cinema

> annabeth trying to hide her excitement when percy immediately picks her. the quiet pride in her eyes. this twelve year old girl really does think shes THE shit

> GROVER TALKING TO..... BLACKJACK???? I KNOW NOT EVERY SINGLE BLACK PEGASUS HAS TO BE BLACKJACK BUT LIKE. WHYD THEY MAKE THE HORSE SPECIFICALLY BLACK WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY COLORS A HORSE CAN BE. YA KNOW

> grover not believing percy actually chose him and then how much it affects him when he realizes its not a joke... oh boy... i will be making multiple posts exclusively about my beloved g man. aryan you CANT be doing this to me you are irreversibly altering my brain chemistry

> "that's bees" GROVER!!!!!! 💖💘💖💖💕💕💖💘💘💖💕

> different monsters being able to smell different aspects of a person FUCK THATS GENIUS. THATS GONNA BE RELEVANT FOR THE REST OF THE GODDAMN SERIES. i wonder if it will connect to the fatal flaws thing..... i wouldn't be surprised but i would be delighted

> consensus song 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and... like.... the way all of them interact with each other. the way you can see their entire personalities, the way they were raised, their weaknesses, just in the way they talk as a trio. im really emotional thinking about

> every second of annabeth in the gas station. you know what im talking about. yeah. fuck you and your evil mean fucked up foreshadowing mr richard riordan and jonathan e steinberg

> the babygirls!!!!!! (furies) (im so faceblind i cant figure out which is which

> the second she started talking to annabeth i fucking CLOCKED IT. i was like OHHHH.... this is a SHOW. these are EPISODES. they have contained ideas and conflicts. there are episodic arcs WITHIN the seasonal arcs WITHIN the series-long arcs. goddamn it now i have to personally kiss every writer and producer and director on the mouth

> im in love with the trio dynamic because it fucking sucks. there weren't many communication issues or interpersonal conflicts between any of them in the book. even percy and annabeth got along for the most part, despite the awkwardness and bickering. here, though, annabeth is bossy as FUCK. she's acting like this is her quest. percy is whiny and impatient and he deflects every time he's questioned. grover is an ineffective mediator and is clearly uncomfortable being around both of them at once. the vibe feels so beautifully off the whole time and it makes the eventual reconciliation SO much more impactful and compelling

> medusa hot. awooga and all that.

> i like that they all realized immediately who aunty em was. im sad they abandoned the pseudonym so quickly but it makes sense that they'd understand seeing as they all know a good amount of mythology. i think it would've been a scream-at-your-tv moment otherwise

> this is exhausting why am i doing this on my phone

> the plan they came up with is fantastic. i audibly gasped. once when the hat came out and once when i realized they were gonna kill alecto with the head. SMART AS FUCK even though it's not quite a perseus reference anymore

> grover crying over uncle ferdinand.... i can't decide if im sad they didn't make it a funny moment because it's so iconic in the book, or if im glad they played it straight because it gave us a SAD GROVER MOMENT AND ALSO FORESHADOWING. not that i like seeing grover sad... i just like seeing him. i like to look at his haunted eyes and go damn boy... you are one sad boy. good luck with your feelings of inadequacy and trauma repression <3

> writing this is draining my sanity. cmon almost done

> HE SAID THE LINE HE SAID THE LINE HE SAID THE LINE!!!!!!! i am impertinent. top 5 percy jackson quotes of all time. i feel sick just thinking about the other 4 in that list.... im not gonna survive

> cue drive from tlt musical as they leave aunty em's

> oh hey thats lin manuel miranda. im sure he wont be crucial to the overarching plot of the series

> i will be honest the vibe IS kinda perfect. he does look like an emotionally immature divorced dad who complains about his job all the time but constantly works overtime for no reason. its just that he also looks like lin manuel miranda

> love the song choice for the credits

> i will talk about the ep4 preview in a different post im too tired

FINAL (very sleepy) THOUGHTS:

best one yet by far. the more screen time our trio gets the better. grover is a dork and id die for him. its so cool that we get to see the story and characters from a slightly more omniscient perspective, even though i do miss percy's narration. i cant fucking believe this show is real and that they made it just for me

I AM IMPERTINENT!!!! AND IM ALSO GOING TO BED!!!!!!

[captainaikus]

✨Third one✨ (part 1)

ASJJFYJKHFTUJHG. As soon as I saw the header with Oliver I know it was finally time. LET THE FLIRTY-PLAYBOY-BABYGIRL SERIES BEGIN!!!!

I wanted to take my time diving into this fic and really digest and understand it as much as I can on my first read because I know it’ll be amazing so I saved it for last.

Love the setting up. The description is fantastic. Ohhhh there’s an older sister huh? I wonder if that relationship will come into play later 👀👀. PSHHHHHHHH THEIR FIRST INTERACTION IS LITERALLY COMPARABLE TO TWO JUDGY BRATS PLS ADJMHGGJNNH. This is amazing I already love where this is going Belle. Oh and they tolerate each other now? Hmmmm very much the potential for ignored feelings. “You can pay me back when you become a football star” oh ho ho making promises for the future already are we now? Loving how y/n is a tsundere but still shows that she cares. It’s really cute and adorable. ASHKKGFKKJHGGGG WHY IS IT ALWAYS 16 💀💀??? When I was 16 I was busy trying to survive high school, pass my classes, and watching anime. And here we have realizations of love already what?? Not a problem at all tho I love how quick this is moving along. Getting to the meat of it soon I hope. GASPS YOU DID NOT!!!! AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES ASDJKGGHJHHHG YESSSSSS. NAHHHHH STAB ME IN THE HEART WHY DONT YOU HE REALLY PULLED THE GAY ROOMMATE CARD OLIVER ISTG IF YOU DONT GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR- ahem anyways tough luck y/n stay strong girl 😭😤. Not you already being his wife what is this married-with-benefits 💀💀. Oliver wake up and kiss her already idc if it’s only chapter one 🙄😤🤚🏼. Oh thank God the sisterhood is safe *sighs in relief* as much as I love the drama that would’ve occurred if it had gone “that” route there seriously needs to be more loving sister relationships in writing, blood related or not. We Stan a supportive older sister 😤😤 (that digs up our buried love feelings for us even though we buried then for a reason 💀💀). LOVING THE ADVICE YES PUT YOURSELF FIRST YOU CANT WAIT FOR SOMEONE FOREVER BECAUSE OF THE POTENTIAL YOU SEE IN THEM AND STUNG YOUR OWN GROWTH IF THE TIME IS RIGHT ITLL HAPPEN. This is making me cry what the heck. I really needed to hear a variation of this at many points in life. I swear to God if Oliver starts coming around right after we start moving on I’m gonna riot. On the other hand love how y/n is starting to be real with herself like yes sweetheart you deserve better (and you’ll get that in him after you both grow separately ofc). OH ITS GONNA BE DUAL POV????? HECK YEAH GIMME THE TINY DETAILS FROM THE OTHER PERSON!!!! Oof not the wedding invite scenario pls this reality setting in part is hurting me so much legit tearing up rn gimme a minute Belle 😭😭. *sniffles* but the GROWTH it’s the first step y/n I know it’s hard but you gotta separate honey 😭😤. NO PLS GOD NO HOW DARE HE COME BACK AS IM SOBBING WHAT THE HECK OLIVER PRIVACY MAN. Not him giving you physical affection right when you’re most vulnerable and coming to terms with getting over him and looking all worried LIKE NO STOP THIS IS NOT HELPING OLI. Oh no not the alcohol 💀💀. This is gonna go great just fantastic isn’t it? *inhales deeply* Belle I’m not joking when I say that I was screaming internally the entire sex scene LIKE WHAT. Kicking my feet blushing and everything. It really felt so real. And the dialogue??? Magnificent!!! Tbh it was my favorite part. In my head I was like “NOOOOOOOO” when you kissed him but at the same time “…yes” when it started getting steamy and the teasing plus the praise??? Kill me now why don’t you. NOOOOO NOT THE AWKWARD MORNING *sobs* I mean I was expecting it but like. Serious. Emotional. Damage. 😭😭😭. Oh no. No you can’t be serious. Tearing up again hold on. The eavesdropping on the phone convo broke my heart seriously ouch. Not the way I gasped when he just walked passed the suitcases. Ahh yes. The m word huh? Excuse we while I go sob again. Almost nothing hurts worse than being called a mistake. Either from yourself or others it’s never fun. Speaking from experience. I knew the emotional outburst confession was coming. I knew. But still. Damn. If only everything could be fixed by telling your feeling out. Love her for that. Finally coming clean with everything. Also Oliver’s being such a jerk and an asshole rn but I know the later redemption is gonna be worth it. Still pissed at him rn tho.

- ✨ anon

✨Third one✨ (part 2) It really made me make a part two because the word count was too high the heck.Still pissed at him rn tho. Anyways moving on. I freaking adore how she also wrote her current feelings down as a part of the first letter. And how she just. Didn’t hesitate. And moved on. We’ve got a flight to catch. Oh my God that fic was amazing. Seriously. You outdid yourself. The pacing was fast enough that it didn’t feel dragged out. The characterization was absolutely on point. The oc characters had their own personalities no matter how few lines they had. The dialogue was emotional and to the point. And it was just overall really realistic in the sense of being human, loving, hurting, and moving on. It made me cry so many times. I had to take so many breaks Belle. It was seriously amazing and I loved it so much. I cant wait for the second chapter whenever it comes out!!! - ✨ anon

I read this ask over 20 times (or maybe more already) cause i love it when people go over the details of my writing and you got all of them! (⋟﹏⋞) Thinking if i should make a note of recommended songs before the chapter so that it make it a more immersive experience? The original setup was supposed to be different back in August, but then I came up with this in September. Mei was a part of the story, but the age gap was a really big one - and i had to make a change midway, so mei is 3 years older than (y/n)... I wanted to keep the pacing of the story to a medium because sometimes the details and the amount of drama that happens is such a drag that I wanted to move past that and onto the real stuff; not to mention that if i did drag it out, it would be more than 5 chapters. Mei and (y/n)'s relationship is gonna have more emphasis as the story progresses (cause honestly this is a simple plot but a very complicated one to explain and I don't wanna give away spoilers cause I wanna just see the reaction you guys are gonna give me) and most of the lines that i used in the first part are the ones that are going to be covered in the latter part of the series. it is going to be a dual pov (spoilers for part 2; the story is gonna be from Oliver's pov.) oh god- and this was the first part💀. you might need the whole box of tissues honestly for the onslaught that's gonna come. (i did cry btw. I ate the jar of nutella in such short time for a reason) The sex was such a drag to write honestly 💀 cause i was just not feeling it. Like really not feeling it; and i wanted to get to the conclusion and the angst (cause the potential for dialogue and feelings is high in those areas) but in the end, it ended up being satisfactory when i read it. Leaving the alcohol part out, everyone's first time should be a fun one and my attempt at keeping your standards and expectations high . (you saying that it felt real made my day, cause often times when i read smut, i really can't relate to it cause it straight up sounds like porn sometimes and porn is very unrealistic.) As for the concluding part of it, i had a bit of a struggle cause (y/n) needed a reason to back away from Oliver and the eavesdropping on the other side of the door was the last straw. And then... I just let my fingers do the magic, just typing everything out.

The amount of times I cried cause of the songs I used to write all of this, and the fact that it hits close to home. The second part is going to go on the ao3 account... still deciding the username i want so that i can upload my works there

But thank you for liking and reading it - cause i really enjoyed writing this one. i've already decided the songs i want to put for the next chapter

[oriigirii]

Streamer MC headcannons with the brothers 💞

"You were quite a known face on social media back in the human realm, playing games, doing unboxings, just vibin in general, fans around the globe looked forward to your streams a lot! However, considering the sudden (unannounced) invitation to the exchange program, you had to leave all of that behind out of the blue. It wasn't as bad at first, but you have to admit you do miss the feeling of being able to do goofy shit online. Luckily for you, with the advance technology of Devildom and some spicy magic, the internet had synced with the human realm, and thats when you decided to finally re-enter the streaming scene. How will the brothers react upon seeing your peculiar past time?"

Head empty, No thoughts aside from the brothers just bothering the MC while they stream so here you go haha

Warnings: None, just crackhead energy and a lotta mispellings

Gender: Neutral!

Hotel: Trivago

* [ ಠ╭╮ಠ ] Lucifer *

{How did he know about your career?}

I honestly don't see him as someone who goes on the internet a lot

(He screams boomer to me, change my mind)

He doesn't have the time either, he's too focused on work!

So him finding out is gonna take a while

But! He did find out the hard way when shrilled screaming was heard from your room when he was passing by with some paper stacks in his arms (courtesy of Diavolo)

This man felt his instincts kick in, he ran as fast as he could, papers forgotten, and he immediately slammed your door open. Splinters scattering around, your door definitely damaged, as his eyes held a glare and his demon form was out, wings spread in a threatening display.

He was ready to beat someone's ass as he had thought someone had hurt you in here.

But all hes met with is you, infront of your chair and PC, and a game over on the screen...

To say he was unamused was an understatement cause you just lost your internet priviliges for giving him a heart attack (He said it was because you were being rowdy and noisy but with what you saw you knew that wasn't the case)

Good luck tryna puppy-eye your way to his heart to let you continue streaming lol.

If by some miracle you managed to wriggle your rights back from his hands, he'd warn you not to be so loud next time.

You already learnt your lesson though~ (Hopefully)

{How does he feel about your streams?}

Not everyone's the same, so if you were the shy soft streamer who does more art streams or something akin to a podcast, you can bet that Lucifer will be putting you on while he works, he kinda knows your streaming schedule at this point and if you were running late, he'd force one of his brothers to take over your dish washing duties or any chores you were stuck with

If you were the loud obnoxious meme type, hed still try to watch out of curiosity, and as much as he appreciates that you were getting comfortable here in Devildom with how you laugh and joke around, he still can't approve of it. Its too loud, its much like his brothers energy and he has enough of that already, so he probably doesn't watch as much.

He has countlessly came to your room to shush you and at this point your fans had made a compilation of each time Lucifer had barged in to tell you off

Look he likes it when you scream, but not when hes in the middle of work okay--

At this point, chat has deemed Lucifer as dad and you as their mom/dad.

If he ever catches wind of this he'd definitely be teasing you in private for centuries to come.

Overall fine with it, as long as don't do something stupid on stream.

* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ Mammon*

{How did he know about your career?}

I would say he found out by him crashing into your streams midway but that's too predictable, hence why you've Mammon-proofed your bedroom during streaming hours!

Thanks to our wizard daddy, you have managed to cast a simple lock spell on your door and as well as a sound proofing

You love your broke idiot, but you did wanna keep the tone of your stream today a bit more chill, you wanted to have a proper Q&A with your fans to hopefully clear any bad vibes around your 3 month disappearance.

When Mammon has learnt your door was locked he definitely was a bit pissy, he knocked on your door loudly even and was calling out for you to let him in, but to no avail.

Bro he's scared.

He usually was allowed to enter, and you usually answered if you did need to be left alone for a bit, so just leaving him hanging got his mind racing and he had to press up his ear on the wooden door to try and hear if you were okay

When this continues on he finally resorts to getting help, but the only one in the house ws Levi, so he kicks down HIS door.

Levi boutta summon Lotan for interrupting him honestly

But as Mammon exclaim you weren't answering and he worried for your wellbeing, Levi rolls his eyes and scoffs,

"Idiot Mammon, they're streaming don't bother them…"

Streaming? why didn't you tell him???

Rude much.

He did huff and now was forcing his way to use Levi's PC for a moment

Can Levi stop him?

Nah.

He was busy on his console, and if he stood up now hed be breaking his world record so he was at a terrible state so he just resorts to threats of him drowning the Avatar of Greed if he does anything stupid on his PC.

He immediately logs in to your streaming platform and he watches for a bit,

You were more dolled up now just to look decent on stream, and he felt this jealousy rise as you interact with your chat, especially to those saying I love you's and stuff, and you even said it back? the audacity! You were his werent you? Were you replacing him with these nobodies?

He huffs as he realized that those who paid got their message highlighted, and thus, he starts donating. (Mind you this was Levi's account...)

"Mcccccc Open the dooorrr"

"Ill behave i promiseeeee"

"Cmon pleaseeee?"

Chat is c o n f u s i o n

NGL, they thought Mammon was a creepy stalker and red flags were being waved everywhere

but as chat was pondering who the hell he was, you can only sigh and look at the camera with that unamused expression, but ugh! you just KNOW hes doing that kicked puppy expression of his, and maybe it really wont be so bad

So you snap your fingers and say, "Okay MonMon, its open, Im giving you 3 seconds"

Mammon wasnt deemed to be the fastest out of his brothers for nothing

As soon as you got to '2', you were already tackled by the white haired male and chat went wild.

Now that you've shown your life in Devildom, maybe its time to introduce chat to your boyfriend no?

{How does he feel about your streams?}

You get paid to sit infront of a camera, do I have to say anything else?

But really though, as much as he enjoys the thought of getting so much cash from something so simple, he prefers the joy of being able to proudly exclaim that he was your first man!

ohhhh he thrives on the salt of your overly attached stans

but for those who fully support you, he always feels so mushy and shy when they say the ship you guys so hard

The fanarts has him WEAK (he may or may not have saved a few)

You usually do streams alone, but now you've allowed the door to be left open to let Mammon join whenever

Chat pogs when he enters with so much confidence, only for it to crumble when you kiss his cheek on stream.

Overall finds it fun to spend time with you, but just dont play scary games cause Lucifer might hang him upside down on stream.

* ▘▂▝ Leviathan*

{How did he know about your career?}

He is honestly the most attached to his D.D.D and he catches wind of almost anything going down in the internet, so your 'revival' being hyped up was something he definitely saw and he was just s wo o o ned

His Henry 2.0? a famous streamer?

Were you truly a blessing gifted upon him or was he dreaming?

He definitely didn't bring it up at first as he didn't wanna make it a big deal, but you notice hes been more in his head lately, and you have tried asking him what it was but to no avail.

You have to corner this little snake if you want answers and he eventually admits that he knew of your persona online and was incredibly shy to ask you to stream with him

He's a streamer himself afterall but maybe he doesnt stream as much as you do nor does he have as large of a following, so his intrusive thoughts attacked him and made him think that maybe since he wasnt as famous he didnt deserve to be in the same stream as you

Please tell him to join you and gib him kiss U3U

He'll absolutely m e l t

But now, as you make the announcement to your viewers and Levi to his, the internet explodes as a special collab stream was hapening between the expert gamer and avatar of envy of Devildom along with the beloved exchange student and streamer of the human realm

Your usual viewers reach between 10-15k, but as you start stream, that number boosts higher and beyond

Before streaming though, Levi was incredibly nervous, he'd picked the games for you to play that he knew you would enjoy with him, but his mind kept racing about whatthe fans thought, he didnt wanna disappoint them

But you had to remind him that whatever they say will not matter in the end as this was merely for fun, this was YOUR stream and you guys were gonna do what you want and nobody can have a say on it. (Maybe except Lucifer)

You usually talk for him with your bubbly personality, and to calm his nerves, he hs your pinky wraped around his where the camera can't see it.

Regardless, his thoughts subsided as you two delve into your stream that lasted a solid 7 hours, you definitely promised your chat that you and Levi will be doing more streams together from now on.

Once the cameras cut and yall are left alone, Both of you collapse on bed, and despite you being asleep already, Levi was just far too giddy as everything dwells on him.

Having a player 2 by his side now had never felt so intoxicating and he as just so lucky to have you.

{How does he feel about your streams?}

He obviously adores it, although some streams he wouldnt join just so he can play games on his own

He's still an introvert afterall, he needs his alone time

But he prefers that alone time with you, his Henry.

So when youre about to go stream, he kinda becomes a bit pouty, but with a simple promise of kisses (and maybe even more if youd like) he would let you go, but his attention would disappear from his game altogether.

He might just end up watching you instead

May or may not, at some point, just chat you and ask if its too late to join you

You do allow him to join you and play from the comforts of his room as both of you can simply play via internet, you give him the comfort to not turn on his mic or webcam either and you have no idea how he appreciates that.

Will definitely fight someone online when they start claiming you as theirs (-cough- stans) Please make sure it doesnt escalate to him summoning Lotan

Although the comments would often get to him, and as much as he can fight them online, he still does find himself pondering if they were true, so you need to give him a lotta lovin and reminder that he is your player 1 and no one else can ever fill that place.

------

Wow 3 brothers this time, what an improvement, anyways hope yall enjoy! I think its pretty clear who I simp for depending o nthe length of each lol, but do let me know if you guys want a part 2 for the rest of the brothers, or even the undateables!

[ramp-it-up]

Request:

Y/N is for one year in America and try to learn the language More (she is from Germany ).

Chris saw her at target and realized that she was kind of lost and was loved to help her 👀

Okayyyy Nonnie! How's this for a challenge?

At first I didn't know how I was going to get there from here, but I cruised IG for some German inspiration. As a result, instead of Y/N, reader is named Maëlle. I also struggled with the knowledge that most Germans know more English than Americans know of any other language, but this is all in fun. 😛

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader (Maëlle)

Word Count: Around 2K

Warnings: 18+, RPF, MINORS DNI, CURATE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE, not proofread, Google Translate for the German, verry limited American knowledge of Germans and German culture, not full on Smut, but smutty thots, thoughts of oral sex, fingering, degradation kink, allusions to Dom! behavior, disregarding of stranger danger, the Red Sox, and an age gap.

Maëlle

**********************************

One of your goals when you got settled was to go to Target, Ziel when you arrived in Boston for your graduate exchange year at Boston University.

You understood a great deal of English and could speak many phrases, but you’d hoped your year in America would make you fluent.

You were proud that you were able to get from the BU Student Union to the store. You surprised yourself with the ease that you used your phone to help you translate for what you needed.

Now, you were standing in front of the doors, almost in tears, trying to find where your Uber was to pick you up.

You didn’t pay attention to which way you entered and you needed to find VanNess street. It was about to leave. You suddenly felt helpless, hilflos.

—-

Chris needed to pick up some sunscreen before the game, he couldn't afford a burn right before filming. Even though he had his Red Sox cap on, he still needed some high grade sunblock.

He hurried through the doors of the Target near Fenway Park, head down, trying not to get recognized.

He passed by some beautiful long bronze legs and followed them up a smoking hot body clothed in a scarlet Boston University t-shirt tied up tight and short blue jean skirt.

Your face was framed by waist length blonde braids and your eyes were the most beautiful he’d ever seen.

Your lips deserved ten minutes all on their own, but he kept it moving, not wanting to seem creepy.

You were gorgeous, although you looked flustered. Chris didn’t slow his roll, because you were probably waiting on someone.

When he came back through, five minutes later, he heard your voice and slowed down. He was surprised, but shouldn’t have been. There were black people all over the world.

Even in Germany.

“Kannst du mir zeigen, wo die Van Ness Street ist? Can you tell me? Where is Van Ness Street?”

Your accent was heavy, but passersby just assumed you were crazy or joking with them and ignored you.

Chris was ashamed. That wasn’t what he wanted Boston to be. Even though he was close to being late for the first pitch, he stopped for you. He summoned some German from filming in Europe.

“Kann ich Ihnen helfen?” It was one thing he knew how to say with perfect inflection.

You perked up and smiled at him. “Ach bist du Deutscher? You’re German?”

You looked into the face of the handsome stranger. His eyes. Verdammt!

Chris melted a little bit. When you smiled, you were even more beautiful. Chris smiled back at you, smitten. He laughed.

“No. Italian.”

You understood, but you were confused. Why was this handsome American saying he was Italian and speaking to you in German? And why was he so familiar?

“Oh, Ich entschuldige mich. Sorry.” You smiled again, and Chris forgot all about the game. He wanted to try to talk to you for hours.

“No worries, he said. “Bitte?”

This handsome man’s German was indeed poor. He’d fooled you. He was a good actor. Something pinged in the back of your mind, but you overlooked it. Somehow, he’d made you feel better.

“Ich habe meinen Uber vermisst. Uber, gone!” You made a motion with your hand. “Kannst du mir zeigen, wo die VanNess Street ist?”

“Ohhhh! VanNess is this way,” he pointed toward the other side of the store, and he started leading you through.

You breathed a sigh of relief as you followed him.

You neared the electronics department and there was a giant movie display with dvds. The man saw it, pulled up, stopped, grabbed your hand and quickly led you back the other way.

You were confused.

“Come to think of it, I’ll give you a ride, my car is back out this way. Druben?”

Chris was not going to ruin his afternoon and a chance to talk to you by getting caught signing autographs in Target. He loved his fans, but he already liked you.

You followed him back out of the sliding doors to the parking lot and a blank Range Rover. You just went along with him, your hand feeling at home in his.

Then the panic set in.

You didn’t know this man from Adam.

Your mother had warned you about getting kidnapped by an American serial killer. This was it. You hated it when she was right.

“Wait!”

You said it perfectly, and the man caught your anxiety.

Chris stopped as he tried to open the door for you. He looked into your worried eyes. Shit, he’d gotten carried away. He looked down to where your hands were still locked.

He couldn’t help but smile at them. You smiled, too. Then he looked at you, blue eyes looking like the sea. You smiled back, somehow knowing that you were safe. You leaned back on the car.

“I’m not going to hurt you. My name is Christopher, what is yours?”

“Maëlle.”

Your smile was brightening his entire life. He was into you.

“That’s beautiful. Das ist schön?”

You smiled wider at his compliment. Then you bit your lip. Chris' knees got weak and he took a step closer to you to regain balance.

You were in each other’s space, Chris looking down at you and you at him. You were both getting warm even though it was a cool September day.

Chris pulled your hand instinctively, and you were even closer, your fingers entwined in his close to his thigh, which you could sense flexing through his jeans.

You were staring at his lips and he was doing the same as the butterflies flew around your stomach.

Were you really considering kissing someone you’d just met in Target? What would your mother think?

That thought made you smirk.

“What are you thinking?”

He was leaning over you, his voice in a lower register now. His breath tickled your ear and made you moan slightly.

Chris wanted to know what was going on in that mind of yours, if you were as crazy as he was feeling this kind of connection so fast.

You understood exactly what he was saying, but you just cocked your head and smiled as if you didn’t. You didn’t want him to think that you were thinking of his hands all over you, in your most intimate places.

Chris took a deep breath, trying to clear his head and regain blood flow to his brain. His cock was hard being this close to you and he had to regain composure.

He wasn’t that reckless kid he used to be, but man he wanted to do some depraved things to you. Like drag his tongue up your…

He had to stop. Chris took a step back.

You watched as his tongue peeled out to lick his bottom perfect pink lip. It was strange, but you felt like you knew him. And you wanted him to know you. Intimately.

And now those perfect lips were moving, but you weren’t paying close enough attention to translate what he was saying.

“Can I give you a lift to campus?”

You cocked your head in that pretty way again. He wondered what it would be like to feel your lips. On his lips. On his tattoos, around his…

Chris cleared his throat and tried to think of the words.

“Kann ich mitnehmen?”

He was so cute. You smiled brighter and nodded, “Yes, Christopher.”

Then you gestured to your bra-less breasts in your thin t-shirt. Chris could tell your nipples were hard. He licked his lips and looked around. This was a development.

Then he got your message. He shook his head, chuckling that his thoughts were in the gutter.

“Ooooooh! Boston University! You’re on campus. Yeah, that’s right near here. I’ll take you.”

“Danke. Thanks you, Christopher.”

Your smile would be the end of him. He had to think of a creative way to get your number.

“Hey! Let’s take a picture!” He had his phone out.

You were confused, but maybe this is what Americans did to get to know each other. Take pictures with strangers.

He took a couple of pics and then opened the door for you.

You brushed past him to get in, and Chris allowed his eyes to take in your form, especially your shapely legs.

You noticed him checking you out, and immediately got goosebumps, your nipples hardening again. Your panties were a little moist.

“Let’s just get you… “

Chris reached across you for the seatbelt with his right hand, face coming near yours as he leaned into the car.

“Buckled in…”

Now you were sure your panties were soaked.

Chris allowed his mind to go places, like your pussy, which he was sure was sweet, wet, hot and…

“….Tight.”

Chris gulped, trying not to drool all over you, although he would love to spit in your mouth and make you swallow as he fucked you raw.

“Danke.”

You whispered behind a breathy moan. You wanted not only to ride in this man’s car. You wanted to ride this man in his car.

Your eyes flickered down to his jeans and that’s when Chris realized that he had a raging hard on. He quickly put his hand in his pocket, trying to play it off, flashed a smile and closed the door quickly.

You giggled at how huge what you thought you saw was. You fanned yourself while you waited for him to get in trying to remember your decorum.

Chris stood outside the back of the car for a minute, trying to catch his breath and think. He had to be at least 15 year older than you, he just met you, and you didn’t speak English. None of this made sense.

He was going to drop you off at campus and try to be at the game for the second inning. And act his age.

Christopher got back in the car, much more formal, and started driving.

He looked over to see your legs open and started to wonder how easy it would be to reach over and under your skirt, pull your panties to the side, if you were wearing any, and…

Chris cleared his throat and focused on the road.

You could tell the air had changed. He was different. You wondered what happened.

You looked at his profile and decided that he was turned off by you being so forward. You decided to straighten up, so you did so, literally and figuratively.

You sat up straight and crossed your legs, like prim and proper young ladies do.

The curve of your spine and the crossing of your legs made Chris irrationally angry. It was like you were closing yourself off to him. Then he remembered.

You didn’t know each other.

You pointed out where to go as you neared your apartment. Chris pulled up in front of your unit and you both started talking.

“Danke, Christopher.”

“Hey, Maëlle…”

You both chuckled. Chris continued.

“Let me send you that photo. What’s your number?” He was fiddling with his phone. Then handed it to you. “Type it in for me.”

You grinned wide and his sly smile answered you. Now you understood. You entered your number and handed it back to him, your fingers sparking as you touched.

You were breathless.

“Well…”

“Christopher…”

You two interrupted each other again.

This time you continued.

“Thank you.”

You leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Chris closed his eyes. Your lips felt as soft as he imagined. He wanted to do the whole turn his head trick but he wasn’t 23 anymore. But you sure made him feel like it.

He did turn to look at you as you got out of the car and waved after you closed it. You swung your bag in one hand as you walked toward the building, also swinging your hips, watching him as he drove away.

Chris watched you too, as far as he could in the rearview. When you disappeared from sight, he said, “Fuck it,” did a uturn and peeled rubber back to your apartments. He rolled down the window.

“Maëlle! Maëlle!” You stopped just before you reached your door. Chris grinned at you. “You ever been to an American baseball game before?”

You skipped back down the walk happily, grinning back as you leaned in the open window. You cocked your head in that way.

“No, but I like playing wit the balls.”

Chris groaned. He couldn’t tell if you were talking about sports or something else. But he’d figure it out later. You climbed in the car, winked at him and crossed your legs.

Chris licked his lips as he drove back toward Fenway Park, thinking about how he would teach you about keeping your legs open that night.

——

Hope it’s okay Nonnie! ❤️

@olyvoyl @summerofsnowflakes @sillyteecup @riiyy @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @theselilwonders @lonelydance @chattykathysquietsister @anh1020 @nissameta1782 @betterkeepmewetterthanabayou @jbrizzywrites @stilltoyou @donutloverxo @wallowsgirl14 @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @kiwisa @food8me @aiikaa @marvelfansworld @justanormalfangirlsworld @lost-in-a-state-of-mind @london-grunge @pheebsyells @douxtille @thesecretlifeofdaydreams @ximaginex @jdmacca92 @fofisstilinski @dyapraxicwhore @bertieandberries @ladystrawberry @bit-of-a-timelord @aaronhotchiee @calimoi @fangirlfree @bbaengtan @karolsboo @aliceforbes @insertpithyusername @sickknik @photmath @whorekneebrain @mostannoyingbillioner @anacravalho @iconicshit @spicybibimbap @chaoticsteverogers @txtsfromyourex @sadthotsonlylove @assoftheamericana @ikatieebabyy @nerdymugsharkempath @crossfitjesusinblackskinnyjean @maroonsunrise83

[just-mya-writing]

wasn't sure if you wanted it where reader is in a relationship with each boy, or if there's just a crush, so I did both cuz why not

Fem!Reader Casually Mentions she Masturbates in Front of the Boys

Kyle (if dating)

Bless this boy

He was picking you up with the plan to take you out to eat

You were running just a liiiittle late

But Kyle is on a schedule

No tardiness allowed

So you knew what to expect when you hopped into the gingers car

His expression a mix between annoyance and amusement

Melted into something sweeter as you kissed him on the cheek

He couldn't even scold you for being twenty minutes late

You clicked your seat belt in place as you should always do as he started the ignition

"So what took so long? Make-up? Getting dressed?" he oh so innocently asked

"Nah, I was masturbating" you jokingly responded

oh

oh dear god

Kyle's mind went blank and his brain shut down

You looked over at him when you realized the car wasn't moving

He sat upright, hands clenching the steering wheel, with his mouth slightly ajar

He was blushing

He was drooling

"...Kyyyyyle..."

"Ah...y-yeah?"

He seemed to snap out of it for a sec, turning to look at you while wiping his mouth

You smirked at him

"Whatcha thinking bout?" You asked with a devilish smile

Kyle turned away quickly, face becoming hotter

"I think...you know"

"Oh?" You smiled, unbuckling your seat belt "I do?"

He sunk down in his seat, hands still on the wheel of the motionless vehicle

"Mmhmm..." he bit his bottom lip as he glanced over at you

His entire face turned two shades of red as you moved from your seat to his

Prying his hands off the wheel and moving the seat back, you sat on your boyfriend's lap, staring into his glossy eyes

"I think you should tell me Kyle" you whispered, leaning close to his face. "What were you thinking when I told you I was masturbating?"

His hands were fidgeting at this point, trying to keep away from your thighs

"What would you think..." you continued, licking your lips mid sentence "if I told you I was thinking about you while I touched myself?"

That finally made him come undone

The two of you spent a long time in his car

Missing your dinner reservations entirely

(if not dating)

Flustering Kyle was so much fun to do

Also incredibly easy

You decided it'd be funny to make him turn as red as his hair while in class one day

"Hey Kyle! I know what I want you to get me for my birthday!"

"...your birthday isn't for another-"

You shut him up by thrusting your laptop in his face, showing him the site and item you were requesting

It was a dildo.

A large, black, twelve inch, pulsating, self lubricating dildo

It was on sale

He immediately started sputtering and looking away from the screen

"Wh-what the hell do you need that for?!" He squeaked

You tilted your head to the side in mock confusion

"To masturbate with...duh."

He immediately covered his face, trying to shake the dirty thoughts of one of his best friends away

You tried not to laugh as he almost groaned out your name

"Pleeeease stoooop" he pleaded, face peaking out just enough to see him blushing intensely

"..."

"...so no dildo?"

Stan (dating)

You were hanging out with your close friends one surprisingly warm day

You had convinced everyone to get some bubble tea

So now everyone was hanging around the local cafe, talking about literally nothing

Jokes, stories, and insults flew by so quickly, there was never a lull in the conversation

Stan had his arm around your waist

His grip tightening anytime you spoke and had all the boys look at you

Somehow someway, the conversation went on a huge tangent and y'all were talking about porn stars

Everyone was naming the hottest actors in multiple categories

You piped in with one you personally liked

The boys went quiet as you took a sip of your drink

"Uh...what?"

You looked at the boys curiously

Kenny had a weird smile on his face

Kyle was blushing

Cartman looked like his brain was malfunctioning

Your boyfriend started at you wildly

"You...you watch porn?" Stan asked hesitantly

"What the hell for?!" Cartman squeaked

"Sex education" you said deadpanned. "I watch when I masturbate! Duh" you rolled your eyes

"Oh ho hoo, you're a dirty little girl, aren't you?" Kenny smirked, earning a deadly glare from Stan

You just shrugged your shoulders

"Y-you can't just say stuff like that out loud!" Kyle sputtered

"How the fuck do you even do it without a dick?" Cartman argued

sigh

"Well you see, I usually start with just two fingers and-"

"Alright! That's enough, we're leaving now" Stan announced, grabbing the hand you were about to use to demonstrate and speed walking away

The comments your friends made behind you only made you laugh and cause Stan to walk faster

The blush on your boyfriend's face becoming more apparent, as well as the boner

(if not dating)

"Lalala, can't hear you, nope. I'm not listening..."

Stan was covering his ears, eyes tightly shut while you continued to laugh

"Awww, c'mon Stan. What's wrong with wanting to feel good?" You joked, bumping his shoulder

The two of you were relaxing on his couch playing video games

You didn't realize casually joking about masturbating to one of characters would cause Stan to break down, yet here you were

"Staaaaaaan, c'mon, we gotta finish" you laughed, trying to look at his face

He was definitely blushing

He grumbled incoherently, picking up his controller. Refusing to look at you as the game continued

...

"...I'd masturbate to that character too."

"Please! Why?!"

Stan couldn't exactly focus on the game anymore

Kenny (dating)

ohhhh man

This boy

He is personally offended if you touch yourself without him

You're just laying with him in your room

Actually, you're laying on the floor, while he searches for your "secret drawer" full of "secret toys"

You can't help but shake your head and joke with him

"I bet you have a purple dragon dildo" he snickered "and at least, like, three vibrators"

You laughed, nodding your head

"Oh wow, yup, you got me. I have a very large collection"

Hearing the sarcasm in your voice, Kenny looked over at you with a smirk

"Heh. Knew it"

He went back to his fake search, continuing to mess with you while you went along with it

"I can't believe I haven't even found a bottle of lube yet" he sighed, faking disappointment

"Yeahhh..." you mumbled, picking at your nails. "I used a lot of toys last night, you might wanna check under the bed"

When you didn't hear any response or movement from the boy, you looked up, angling your neck to look at him

His sad, upside-down figure looked back at you

Puppy eyes, lip out and quivering, he looked like a child that was just told they couldn't have any sweets

"...you masturbated...without me?" His voice raised an octave and he added a few fake sniffles "I thought you loved me..."

You held back a chuckle before turning to lay on your stomach

"I'm sorry baby, I was needy"

"I'm needy!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air

"Awww, you poor thing..." you shook your head. "I'll remember that for the next time"

That made him perk up as he shuffled closer to you

"Next time? When is this illusive next time?" He asked, smile growing wider

You paused to think for a second, sitting up

"...you got condoms on you?"

"Duh"

Turns out that "next time" was a lot closer than either of you thought

(if not dating)

He also casually mentions masturbating

Frequently suggests you two masturbate together

Always laughs when you say it in front of the boys cause watching them freak out is the best kind of entertainment

You and him had a sort of friendly competition to see who could get the other flustered

You won when you described how you thought of him while you touched yourself the other day

was it a lie? the truth will never be revealed

Kenny.exe has stopped working

Congrats, you broke the town slut

Cartman (dating)

NOPE

This boy is too immature to even entertain the idea of you playing with yourself

He doesn't even understand female anatomy

He's never even seen you naked before

So when you oh so casually mention a certain past time of yours, his mind just goes blank

He can't even picture it

His sweet, darling, perfect girlfriend

Masturbating?

"Only dudes masturbate! What the hell are you lying for?!"

Bless your patience

You gotta explain

He doesn't even know where the g-spot is

He didn't even know what the clit was

bully him

next time he’s with the gang

he just obnoxiously goes, “hey fuckers, did you know my girlfriend masturbates??? isn’t that weird?” 

congratulations, guess what your friends are gonna be thinking about for the next forever three days 

(If not dating)

?

??

???

he’s

he’s just

why are you telling him this, why is he listening, why is he thinking

he still thinks girls have balls, like

why 

is personally offended each time you allude to it

[volleychumps]

if you write for ushijima (if you don’t just ignore this lol) could you do one where he’s afraid he’s too boring or not affectionate for his s/o but they reassure him they love him how he’s is

My first Wakatoshi!!!<3 he’s one of my favorites he doesn’t get enough love tbh:(

Must I Prove It, Then? (Ushijima x reader)

Words: 1560

Warnings: None 

------------------------------

“Tendou Satori you better share your Cheerios with Semi or else. Can we maintain peace on the bus this time? Please?” 

“Hand it over, loser.”

“Pry them from my cold dead hands.” 

You sigh as you do another headcount, your boyfriend standing behind you in a guard-like manner without really meaning to, your position as both his manager and girlfriend lacking any solid boundary between the two. 

Ushijima blinks when Goshiki offers to carry your bags to the bus for you, blinking a second time when you accept with a thankful smile, ruffling his hair afterwards. 

“Thank you Goshiki-Kun!” 

“Anything for you, Y/N-senpai!” 

“Since when are you close with our first year?” Ushijima’s deep voice makes you jump a little, mostly because you weren’t used to hearing it that often, as you watch Goshiki easily haul both of your overnight bags into the bus. 

You shrug, smiling a little before pecking his chiseled jaw from your height, voice teasing as you start to follow Tendou and his shit-eating grin. 

“It’s not like you were going to offer, were you?” Your voice was light and joking as you boarded, motioning for Ushijima to follow, but he doesn’t. Not yet anyway, seeming to be rooted to his place in the pavement as realization dawns onto the stoic boy. 

Was he...not enough for you? 

“Oi. We can’t exactly get to the prelims without your famous ass, right?” Tendou calls from the window, causing you and many other team members to share a facepalm at the lack of the redhead’s filter. Ushijima jogs to climb on, taking his seat next to you as you slap your forehead, forgetting something. 

“Hey, love? Mind swapping seats with me so I can go over the plays with Goshiki just to make sure he knows them?” 

You scratch the back of your head at his responding head tilt, making you hold back your gush at how adorable that was. 

“I’ll still be here next to you! Besides, you like sleeping while you can to make sure you’re all rested, right?” 

Ushijima shuffles out of his aisle seat to sit in the window one when you emerge, Tendou instigating unrealistic drama as you flip him off, high-fiving Semi afterwards. 

“Did the power-couple have a fight? Should I come up and help you lovebirds couple counsel?” 

“You’re sitting in the back all by yourself. Take a wild guess on why you’re single.” 

Ushijima watches as you laugh along with a smirking Semi, looking down at your intertwined hands as he strokes his thumb against your knuckle. 

Had he...ever been able to make you laugh like that? 

Wakatoshi hardly slept a wink the whole ride there, thoughts for once, spinning with something other than volleyball. 

-------------------------

“Y/N-senpai-!” 

“I’ll bring her bags.” 

The chilly atmosphere settled over the team as Tendou over-dramatically shivers, and you bring a hand up to your neck, frowning at the off-aura of your boyfriend. Goshiki remained frozen in place as Ushijima plucks them from his grasp, wondering if this was his last night to live as he watches his captain enter the inn first.

“Tendou, did you piss in his cheerios?” Semi mutters as you flick his ear, irritated as you motion for the team to hurry up and follow in suit to their captain to enter the inn, Semi rubbing his ear in irritation as the team files in. 

“Quiet doesn’t equate to scary, people. Get a move on, and don’t talk bad about your captain.” 

“You mean your lover?” 

“Tendou, I’ll forbid any and all snacks on the bus-” 

“Awh~” 

Dinner was quite an experience. You sweatdrop at the large pile of protein on your plate as Ushijima eats one piece of meat, putting two on your plate for every one he eats as you try to stop him from doing so, a blushing mess. 

“Wakatoshi, you usually eat like a race horse. You have to keep your strength up for your performance tomorrow.” The team advisor says worriedly, adjusting his glasses as Ushijima shrugs, continuing his actions as you put a hand on his arm gently. 

“Please eat until you’re satisfied. Okay?” 

“Booooo Y/N’s trying to sabotage us-” 

“Strike two, Satori!” 

“Ohhhh shit she pulled out your real name.” Semi snickers alongside Goshiki as the rehead wilts. Meanwhile, you watch as Ushijima nods once, not talking at all as you arch a brow. Even if he didn’t talk much, he still typically made small talk at meals with you, cracking a smile now and then at something you said. 

Something was definitely up. 

After dinner, you washed up after ensuring that Shirabu and Semi would keep the rowdiness to a minimum in their shared rooms, walking down the hall to your own singular room to see Ushijima standing in front of it. You continue to dry your hair as you slip your key card in, startling him slightly as you open your door, offering him a small smile gently. 

“And to what do I owe this pleasure?” 

“Can’t I...say goodnight to you?” 

You blink, previous suspicious confirmed as you pull the tall boy into your room by his arm, making sure the hallways were empty as you did so. You cross your arms, ignoring the foreign look of surprise that crosses the captain’s face as he now stands in the middle of your hotel room. 

“Alright.” You start softly, slinging the damp towel on a nearby chair. “What’s up?” 

His head tilts again. “What do you mean?” 

“You’re acting strange. And that’s not good.” You approach him, sitting down on the edge of your bed before motioning for him to sit. Ushijima sits down with a fridgidness in his movements as you begin to pull your hair up. 

Do you not see him as a man? Why would you just let him into your-?

“I don’t like it.” your voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and Ushijima lifts his head slightly to look over at your eyes downcast at your twiddling thumbs. “You seem...different. Like you’re trying to force yourself to be something you’re not.”

His chest twinges when you lift your head, the saddest expression he’s ever seen crossing the beautiful features he loved so much. 

“Did I do something wrong?” Your voice cracks, and so does Ushijima’s wall he had built around his feelings. 

“No.” 

“Then what?” You urge softly, and Ushijima carefully takes one of your hands in both of his, pulling it into his lap as he breathes in a shaky sigh. A sigh that was unusual for the usual confident, number one spiker in the nation. 

“I...feel like you deserve better.” Your silence makes him continue, his thumbs stroking your hand as you listen intently. “I’m boring, aren’t I? Tendou’s an idiot, but he can make you laugh. Goshiki is innocent, but he’s still more affectionate than me. Even Semi...it seems like he’s more trustworthy to you.” 

His hands tighten around yours. “Don’t you ever think that?” 

Your free hand moves to cup Ushijima’s jaw, lifting it from its’ downcast position as his usual fierce gaze was now brimmed with insecurity and uncertainess. 

“Never. Those thoughts never cross my mind.” You say, feeling Ushijima relax into your palm, eyes closing as you swallow, continuing your rare heart-to-heart with your boyfriend. 

“I love you, Wakatoshi. No one else. I love how your secretly protective of me, without even realizing you’re doing it. You do it because you care. I love how you always make sure to text me every night even though we see each other almost every day. Even if you’re quiet, I can still feel how much you care through your actions.” You ramble, eyes determined to make your boyfriend feel loved. 

“But do you know what I love the most?” 

Ushijima’s prompting stare makes you smile widely, kissing his cheek. 

“Everything. The whole thing, and all your little quirks. It’s you, okay?” You breathe out a shaky sigh as Ushijima’s hands find your waist, pulling you closer as your arms wrap around his neck, pulling you into a tight embrace. 

“It’s always been you.” 

“Y/N.” Ushijima digs his face into the crook of your neck as you smile over his shoulder. “I...feel the same.” 

You laugh at his aloofness, pulling back slightly to brush your nose with his. “Care to show me?” 

His lips press brush againast yours before you feel him pull back, standing abruptly. 

“I really shouldn’t um, be here.” 

You grin at his flustered expression, pulling him back down with a wink. “I know you’re a rule follower, love, but maybe...” You look away, biting your lip. “You can stay with me tonight? Just to uh...cuddle?” 

Ushijima blinks, and you’re worried he’s crashed before he nods curtly, and you laugh excitedly before climbing into bed, feeling his weight dip into the other side of the bed. 

“Y/N.” 

“Hm?” 

“Can I kiss you?” 

You blush, feeling Ushijima pull you close with one arm as the other pulls the lampstring, smiling when he starts with kisses on your cheek, peppering kisses until his lips brush yours.

“I thought you’d never ask, love.” 

As he does so, hearts hammering in both your chests, you realize this is the best night of your life with the words he whispers against yours lips. 

“I love you.” 

[your-nerd-is-showing]

AOT Hanji x Fem Reader: Experimenting with Dildos erm Weapons!

You’re Hanji's best friend and experiment partner who is completely in love with Hanji but you’re terrified that she doesn’t feel the same way. One day you end up making some rather questionable looking items…. You get the brilliant idea to make a joke about these phallic looking weapons and Hanji takes it to the next level.

Content: Smut

TW: Just my gayness coming out to say hello, use of toys, oral sex (giving and receiving), slight orgasm control/denial, Hanji and her smug ass xD

NSFW AFTER PHOTO

It was early morning and you were sitting in the office you shared with Hanji working on a new compact weaponry for the Scouts. You inspected your work of these shells you were creating for the boom sticks. “This is all wrong!” You yelled in frustration as you threw the shell on your desk. “Ugh!” You ran your hands through your long (H/C) hair.

“What’s wrong?” Asked a voice from behind making you jump.

“HANJI DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!” You shouted as you held your chest.

“I’m sorry (Y/N) I didn’t mean to scare you.” She laughed.

“Hey that’s not funny you could’ve given me a heart attack!” You said in a huff.

“Okay, okay I'm really, really sorry…. Now why are you all upset pretty girl?” She asked as she placed her arm around you leaning in close.

You turned red as Hanji leaned in closer, the sweet intoxicating smell of her lavender shampoo invaded your nostrils as stray pieces of her wet hair brushed against your cheek. “I-it’s these stupid weapons I feel like the design is all wrong.” You held up one of the shells and it was a rather questionable looking metal tube.

“Well it is rather interesting looking.” She chuckled.

“You mean it looks like a penis?” You laughed with Hanji.

“Exactly! But I wasn’t going to say that!”

You turned away from Hanji laughing because you had a funny idea. You sneakily grabbed one of the shells and unzipped your pants sticking the shell out of the hole. You turned around. “Hey baby you wanna give him a stroke he really likes you!” You said in a low tone trying to sound like a guy.

Hanji raised an eyebrow and started to laugh. “Mmmmmmm why yes I would love to!” She said winking at you as she stepped closer and grabbed your ‘penis' while wrapping her arm around you. She smiled as she ran her hand along the smooth metal shaft pushing it between your legs.

You looked at her your face becoming redder by the second as she got dangerously close to your crotch. You could feel your skin get warm as your palms became sweaty and your heart was beating faster and faster. “H-Hanji wh-what are you doing?” You squeaked out as she pushed the shaft in more turning you on. “Hanji?” You bit your lip as you stifled a moan trying to escape.

She looked at you seeing the immense pleasure on your face. “Hm?”

“Wh-what are you doing?” You wined out tilting your head back as she moved the metal tube making it graze against your clit, a small moan escaping your lips. You let out a gasp when you felt Hanji's hand replace the metal tube between your legs. “H-Ha-Hanji! W-wh-what a-are y-yo-you d-doingggggg! Ohhhhh!” You moaned louder as she gently massaged outside your panties making your knees shake. You held onto her shoulders as she pressed her palm against your clit giving you some friction as your hips bucked uncontrollably. “Hanji!” You looked at her, she was completely entranced by how you reacted when she touched you. You took her face in your hand making Hanji look at you. “E-earth to Hanji? Y-you in there?”

She looked at you with her beautiful brown eyes. “Sorry yes I am here!” She laughed nervously. “And I think you know what I am doing (Y/N).” Hanji leaned in to kiss you as she unbuttoned your pants and slid her hand in your panties earning a sweet moan from you as she rubbed your clit. She broke the kiss and laid you down onto your desk. “I see the way you look at me (Y/N).”

You looked at Hanji shocked.

“What? You didn’t think I noticed? My darling (Y/N) you’re so cute when you look surprised.” Hanji smirked at you. “Lucky for you pretty girl.” She pulled down your pants and panties. “I like women and I really like you.” She leaned in kissing you once more.

You entangled your hands in Hanji's auburn hair wildly attacking her lips as she continued to rub your clit, making you moan into her mouth. Instantly you invaded her mouth with your tongue exploring every corner. Suddenly you felt cold metal press against your wetness, you broke the kiss. “Um Hanji are you thinking about using that on me?”

“Yes I was, why you don’t want me to?” She asked.

“Well I mean you can but, I have better things to use.” You said shyly.

“Oh? Do you now?” She asked raising an eyebrow.

“Y-yes…..” You squeaked. “L-let’s go to m-my room.” You said nervously as you sat up.

“Love bug why are you so nervous?” She grabbed your waist pulling you into her arms.

“I n-never dreamed that t-this would ha-happen, so I’m a l-little shocked st-st-still.” You took a deep breath in composing yourself. “Okay to my room!” You pulled your pants up and took Hanji's hand leading her to your room. You locked the door and instantly Hanji was stripping your clothes off. “H-Hanji!” You moaned out as she pulled your pants off again and rubbed your clit.

She leaned into your neck gently nipping at it. “Mmmmmm yes love bug?”

You wrapped your arms around Hanji groping her butt, she looked at you.

“Now where are these toys you have?” She asked while playing with your nipple.

“They're over there in my closet in a wooden box.”

“Show me.” She grabbed your hips pushing you towards the closet, you leaned down to get the box and Hanji smacked your ass while she inserted two fingers making you whimper. “F-fuck you’re so tight (Y/N).” Hanji grunted as she thrusted her fingers in and out of you. “I love it….” She smacked your ass again.

“A-ahhhhh Hanjiiiiii!” You moaned out as she pushed you over to the bed and laid you down.

“Now lets see what you have in here my darling.” Hanji said smiling at you, she opened the box and her eyes widened in excitement. “My, my, my you certainty have a lot of spare time to have all of these.” She said smugly.

“I made all of those…..” You said shyly.

“Well I kind of guessed that.” Hanji started to go through the box. “What is this?” She picked up a metal tube with a black knob on the end.

“Turn the knob and find out.” You said smugly, she did so and it started to vibrate.

“Ooooooooh I like this one!” Hanji took the vibrator and held it to your clit making your eyes roll into the back of your head.

“F-fuck H-Hanji.” You groaned.

“Oooooh what’s this?” She asked holding up a rubber dildo with a fat round base and a pair of odd looking underwear with a hole cut out.

“Well you put that through the hole in the underwear strap it on and bam you have a penis!” You laughed.

“What in the world made you make these?”

“I-I was hoping we could use them on each other some day.” You said shyly.

“Wait have you ever used any of these?” She asked as she pulled out another dildo.

“The one you’re holding is the only one I’ve ever used.”

“Ohhhh this is going to be a lot of fun!” She said getting excited. “Now I have a question for you.” You looked up at her. “Are you a virgin?”

“No I am not….. I had a drunk hook up with Levi once….. I didn’t like it too much that’s what made me realize that I liked girls…. To be honest he was kind of scary even naked.” You laughed.

“Wait you hooked up with Levi!?” Hanji asked astounded. “I didn’t think shorty had it in him! I’m impressed.”

“You ready to be more impressed? I took the Captain’s virginity.”

“NO WAY!”

You smirked and nodded. “Indeed I did.... Honestly I think he used me for practice because he was soon dating Aurora after that but I'm not holding it against him…. She can have his crazy ass.” You laughed.

Hanji laughed too. “Yea he is pretty crazy, but enough about shorty. Let’s have some fun pretty girl.” She cooed as she went down on you.

“F-fuck H-Hanji!” You wined out as she nibbled on your clit making your hips buck. You grabbed her soft auburn hair tugging on it as she swirled her tongue around. “Ohhhhhh!” You moaned as Hanji took the vibrator thrusting it in and out of you. You felt the knot tighten in your stomach, your breathing became heavier squirming beneath Hanji as she pushed the vibrator in deeper. “H-Ha-Hanjiiiii I'm go-go-going to cummmmm!” You howled.

“No you’re not allowed to yet.” She said smugly as she pulled the vibrator out of you right before you hit your climax.

You laid there in a daze trying to comprehend what had just happened. “W-what the hell?” You grumbled.

“(Y/N) don’t worry you’ll have the best orgasm of your life. I just don’t want you cumming…. Yet.”

You looked at her with pleading eyes. “But Hanji I can cum more than once.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Oh can you now? Hmmmm well that does change things.” Hanji grabbed your dildo and slowly inserted it making you go crazy as she swirled her tongue around your clit.

You grinded against her face as she went deeper and deeper, instantly making you cum and gush into her mouth. “Ohhhhhh f-fu-fuckkkkkk Hanjiiiiii!” You screamed out in pleasure as you rode out your first orgasm.

Hanji came up and kissed you deeply as she ran her hands all over your soft supple skin pulling you in closer. “I love how sensitive you are love bug, I barely did anything to you and you’re already a puddle.” She said smugly.

You looked up at her giving her a shy smile as your hands traveled down unbuttoning her pants. Slowly you slid your hand into Hanji's panties gently massaging her clit making her tremble at your touch. “Oh? Do you like that Hanji?” You smirked as you watched Hanji's face.

“Y-yesss!” She wined out as you pushed a couple fingers inside her. “F-fuck (Y/N).” Hanji slowly moved her hips as she rode your fingers.

“Why don’t you lay down and let me have some fun Hanji?” You removed your fingers from between her legs.

She looked at you through half-lidded eyes and nodded.

You gently pushed Hanji onto the bed and unbuttoned her shirt. You unhooked her bra, gently playing with one nipple while your mouth sucked on the other one, Hanji squirmed beneath you. You ran steamy kisses down her torso, making her shiver. You looked up at Hanji smiling as you pulled down her pants. “Why hello there.” You cooed as you took off her panties and started rubbing her clit.

“Ohhhhhh (Y-Y/N-N)!” Hanji moaned out as you slipped a couple fingers inside her. “F-fuck.”

“Hanji you’re so wet.” You cooed as you continued to finger her. “Hanji can I use the strap-on, on you?”

She looked at you all excited. “Ohhhh yes you can!”

You got up to put the strap-on together putting the dildo through the hole and strapping it so it doesn’t fall out. You repositioned yourself between Hanji's legs, slowly inserting the dildo making Hanji moan out loudly.

“F-fuck (Y/N)!” She screamed out in pleasure as you went deeper. You adjusted her legs to get better leverage going even deeper pounding into Hanji harder and harder. “Oh fuck baby girl just like that!”

“Yea? You like that?” You cooed as you spread her lips and massaged her clit.

“Oh fuck yes (Y/N)! I'm-I'm gonna cuuuummmmm!” She moaned out.

“Aweee so soon?” You pouted.

“I’m sorry its been a while since I’ve been with anyone….”

“Well why don’t we change that?”

~End

[dying-suffering-french-stalkers]

For the ship game: prime numbers for Lupin x Jigen!

HERE YOU GO GHOST, THIS WAS FIVE PAGES IN A GOOGLE DOC AND TOOK ME SEVERAL HOURS

Under a cut, allegedly, though mobile has been known to just IGNORE THAT. Sorry in advance if this gets goofed for anyone.

2) Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, in any place?

Lupin, obviously (and canonically). Just the horniest man you ever did see. Jigen knows what he wants and when he wants it, but he has difficulty keeping up with Don Juan Triumphant over there. Lupin is also far less picky about locations and times than Jigen is. Jigen still has a FEW standards, thank you, and also a stronger sense of self-preservation. Lupin sometimes tries to start shit in public or during a heist and Jigen is like “I REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE THE SENTIMENT BUT CAN WE NOT.” The closest to public anything Jigen will put up with is bar bathroom/back-alley hookups, and he doesn’t really tend to do that with Lupin or Goemon since they have secondary locations far more suited to such activity (or at least the damn Fiat, if nothing else). That said, Jigen is a spiteful bastard and gets a huge kick out of riling Lupin up over the walkie-talkie during jobs. He is more than happy to get jumped by his boss after they make it out and secure the loot.

3) Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time?

Honestly, while I can totally see Lupin and Jigen doing this with their other partners, I have a harder time imagining the two of them doing this together and I’m not sure why. I feel like these two on their own both like the privacy bathing gives them, whether it’s to clean wounds or decompress from a job.

On the occasions when they do bathe together, I feel like it’s an unspoken kind of thing, where the other person quietly slips in the tub/shower with them and they just don’t bother protesting. I think Lupin is more likely to join Jigen in his bathing, but if Jigen is sleepy enough or lonely enough he might do the same. There is a lot of mutual appreciation of scars. They’ve definitely smoked in the tub before (Intricate Rituals™). Lupin is probably more likely to get handsy, because Lupin, but two can play that game if Jigen is feeling it, and also Jigen gives Lupin a run for his money in the staring department. No hat to hide behind now.

Lupin has also 100% done the whole “Hey Jigen, do you know if—stop screaming, it’s me—do you know if we have any more instant dashi? Goemon’s gonna slice up the sofa if I ruin soba night again.”

5) Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?

Jigen, but to be fair, he canonically sleeps on the couch most nights (possibly to keep an eye on the door, possibly because he knows that place, at least, is always “acceptable” for him to occupy). It’s an odd night if you don’t see Jigen out there with a glass and a bottle of scotch and an old movie on TV. The main difference is that if he and Lupin have been fighting, he won’t bother with the formality of a glass and the TV will be playing far louder or not at all.

7) [A] Who said “I love you” first? And [B] who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?

I hate to take the coward’s way out here, but I think the answers are A) either one - depends on the headcanon/fic/version of the characters I’m feeling that day, and B) both.

For A, they’re both the sort of people to show their love—true love/affection, not just flirtation/infatuation, LUPIN—in action, not words. Lupin is a man of many words to a fault, generous with his verbal and physical affection, so Lupin has to find a way to make sure Jigen knows he means it and how he means it. He may rightly fear that Jigen won’t believe him (or else believe him but take it platonically) if he says “I love you” to his face, so first he’ll show him through every little action he can. Jigen is a man of few words to a fault, so saying personal stuff like that out loud is both a last resort and the point of no return. Getting him to say it at all, unambiguously, and while sober is like pulling teeth. Once one of them finally spits it out, though, I think the other is quick to reciprocate (again, if they manage to say it clearly and under good circumstances and not ambiguously/while drunk or wounded/etc. They’re both idiots and selective cowards so this is a big if). The mutual relief is palpable and immediately followed by sex, because they’re both (horny) idiots and selective cowards who do not want to talk about Emotions and Personal Things any more than strictly necessary.

For B, ohhhh man, if it isn’t that same emotional avoidance coming to bite them in the asses! Looks like talking about deep emotions is strictly necessary after all! You know it’s a Big Important Argument for them if this is what it comes to. This is going to tie in somewhat to the answers for 11, 17, and 23, so stay tuned. “Because I love you” coming from either of them should give the other pause, but if they are angry enough, they’re both quite likely to storm off after that declaration anyway. They’ll come back and have a real discussion later, but the shock or frustration of that arresting declaration dropped in the middle of an argument is something neither of them are great at dealing with. Hearing that from Jigen might be enough to stop Lupin in his tracks, but Lupin might also be so dead-set on something that he’ll steamroll right over it even if he knows he’ll regret it later. Hearing that from Lupin probably only makes Jigen angrier because of his awful self-esteem (see answers 11 and 23), and even if he’s been working on that, his instinct will be to snarl “Yeah, right” and storm out the door. I like to think that one day they are able to get to the heart of the argument sooner (because this is almost always it) and work on the behaviors that worry the other so much, but alas, they are a mess.

11) Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?

Once again, either of them depending on the day.

As you mentioned in your JiGoe post, Jigen says it partly because he thinks it’s funny (“You have a crush on me, Boss? Fuckin’ embarrassing”) but also because he’s fishing for validation. His self-esteem/confidence in anything outside his shooting skills is shit and he still can’t quite believe that Lupin isn’t lying/he hasn’t conned Lupin into something. This is rather overestimating his conning skills and underestimating his many good qualities, but, well, genuine, lasting affection is kinda new for him. Much to Jigen’s annoyance, Lupin figures out exactly what Jigen’s up to after the first few times and answers him seriously (and positively) instead of continuing the “joke”. Lupin loses patience for this particular tactic over time but I like to think that Jigen finally begins believing in the affection, too, so it comes up less and less and one day Jigen might actually play the quip straight without the self-deprecation. Ideally he would just take the damn compliment, but it’s LupJig and banter is one of their love languages.

When Lupin says it, he typically is playing the quip straight and fondly giving Jigen shit for showing an Emotion and motherFUCKER I just realized Jigen could probably be considered a tsundere. I hate this. ANYWAY. Jigen then immediately snarks back that yes, Lupin, considering we’ve been travelling the world together and actively fucking for X years, it’d be damn awkward if I didn’t by now.

13) Who initiates duets? and who is the better singer?

Lupin absolutely initiates duets, or rather, he tries to; whether or not Jigen actually chimes in is another matter entirely. Lupin is also the better singer by far (when he’s sober). He loves singing along to pop and rock in the car (“This is the reason God invented America!”).

Much as it would please me personally to give Jigen a smooth operatic baritone, there’s no way in hell he sounds good after smoking a pack a day for twenty-something years. I think Jigen can carry a tune and he’s a decent hummer and whistler, but his singing voice isn’t spectacular.

Lupin occasionally succeeds in getting Jigen to join him in car karaoke, though as in all things, Lupin is much louder and more impassioned. Jigen frequently hums along under his breath, though, and Lupin loves hearing Jigen’s a cappella renditions of classical music (complete with hand motions).

When Queen starts becoming popular, car singalongs become much more involved because it’s MY silly headcanon and You Are Not Immune To Queen. Jigen cried the first time he heard “Bohemian Rhapsody” and he will kill Lupin if he ever tells Goemon or, God forbid, Fujiko. When the four of them are in the car it’s a full-on Wayne’s World headbanging party. (Pops is the drunk guy they pick up along the way. Also, seeing Payless Shoe Source in this clip dealt me psychic damage.)

Lupin and Jigen (and Goemon) are the living embodiment of the drunk friends singing “Sweet Caroline” post, and Jigen is specifically this version of “Sweet Caroline”.

17) Who is more protective?

THAT IS THE QUESTION, HUH, GHOST? Jigen’s job and, to a certain degree, raison d’être is protecting Lupin, but (to cheat slightly and quote your own DM to me), if you think Lupin won’t raze everything to the ground to keep Jigen (and the others) safe, you don’t know him at all. They are this meme to the deepest of faults. They are both so desperately afraid of losing what they have (and in Lupin’s case, this is tinged with a bonus, even more concerning “what is his”) that they will go full self-sacrificing, scorched-earth policy. This is, in fact, my favorite reason for Lupin to do the worst thing he does: fake his own death to protect his partners. Lupin never stops to think that maybe, JUST MAYBE, he should trust his partners to fake grief and keep the secret long enough for whoever’s on their tail to give up or let their guard slip. Lupin is willing to hurt them in an effort to protect them, so in that way, I suppose Lupin is the “most” “protective”. Jigen’s self-abasement to the point of unhesitating and perhaps even hasty sacrifice is painful, too, but Jigen would never dare go to the same level of deception (except in Goodbye, Partner, apparently? But 1) I haven’t watched it yet and 2) while awful, I still feel like fake betrayal pales in comparison to very convincingly (AND MAYBE REPEATEDLY) faked death).

19) Who drives and who has the window seat?

They split driving duties, but Lupin genuinely loves driving and Jigen is more than happy to prop his feet on the Fiat’s dashboard and smoke or sleep the hours away.

23) Who thinks they are not good enough for the other’s love? and who’s more afraid of losing the other? Who thinks they keep messing up, only for the other to tell them they don’t need to worry?

HERE WE GO AGAIN!!! I think the answer to all of these is ultimately Jigen, but that’s not to say Lupin doesn’t share the exact same worries.

Jigen has a very difficult time believing that his partners’ love is genuine, and since Lupin is the one he knew first, that’s where it first manifests. Jigen has had very, very few good romantic connections in his life (if any). He doesn’t know what Lupin could possibly see in an older, prickly hired killer with a drinking problem and a head full of demons. He’s willing to believe that Lupin keeps him around for his skills, for protection, and for sex, sure, but anything past that? Doubtful. This ties into the other two parts of the question: Jigen is afraid that if he fails in his sharpshooting or his protection, he will be cut out of the gang, or worse, Lupin will end up dead because Jigen slipped up. As mentioned in question 17, Jigen cannot bear to lose Lupin and he would never forgive himself if he believed it was somehow his fault. Accordingly, Jigen takes “failure” that exceeds his usual margin of error very seriously in the early days. Later, he is better about this, but the worst-case scenario still stands.

Lupin, on the other hand, has had plenty of romantic connections, some good, some bad, though it is perhaps telling that Fujiko is his longest romantic relationship other than Jigen. He is afraid that if he doesn’t put on the world’s greatest show at all times, no one will give a rat’s ass about some scrawny grandson of an old French thief (or the perhaps unwanted/disliked son of a ruthless crime lord, because I love that fanon for Lupin the Second). He must live up to and indeed surpass the previous Lupins, he must shower his partners in money and adventure, he must always, always come out on top no matter how south the plan goes, or else what is the point of him? It takes time for him to turn his persona off for more than a few seconds, to let the quieter, sometimes contemplative side that slips through the cracks come to rest out in the open. Years down the road, Jigen finally gets up the courage and the words to tell Lupin that he would love him no matter what he did or where he went, even if that was nothing and nowhere. And again, see question 17 re: losing Jigen.

29) Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires?

Lupin is by far the most guilty of this. He’s constantly pulling dumb shit, whether that be for World-Renowned Gentleman Thief reasons or just He May Be Stupid reasons. Case in point: the tunnel scene in The First, after which Jigen was duly impressed. Fortunately for Lupin, Lady Luck must be head over heels for him because the bastard keeps surviving, but sometimes even she can’t save him from medical consequences. Jigen bulk-ordered “Stupid Hurts” band-aids specifically for Lupin. Jigen’s bad choices are more likely to literally backfire on him, but Goemon more than makes up for Jigen’s slack in the Crazy Stunt department.

[fanmoose12]

We always see in fanfics their friends having a bet in when they will start dating, but what if Levi and Hange were the ones with the bet? They played a little game of see whi falls un love first and of course they both are in love but their pride does not allow them to confess

ohhhh, and what if it all started with an innocent joke from hange, something like "i bet you're already falling for me levi, can't blame you, i'm a legit snack" and levi being like "wtf you're going on about. i'll never fall for you"

and so it begins. hange does this joke every once in a while, every time she does something particularly cool in front of levi, and every time levi gives a sarcastic reply and swears that he'll never fall in love

and then, somewhere along the lines, hange realizes that fuck, she's the one who fell for levi. embarrassing and tragic

meanwhile, levi realizes something as well - he fell for hange in the most embarrassing way possible and he's pretty sure he won't be able to recover from it

but they're stubborn and they're both stupid, so they refuse to admit their feelings for a long, long time.

and then one day hange is feeling down for some reason (said reason is levi, obviously, and hange's inability to hide from her feelings for him), and levi being levi approaches her with something like "why do you look even shittier today, four-eyes". hange laughs it off (quite unconvincingly) and tells levi that he won't understand because "i bet you've never been in love"

"seems like you've lost this bet, hange," levi says. "but we're even, since i've lost another bet too."

"huh? which one?"

"the one where i swore to never fall for you"

[gay-otlc]

Keepers of the Chaos (Chapter 2)

Summary: Tam, Linh, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh's podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing, food, L*ura

Word count: 2005

Notes: Check out the beautiful theme song here!

(Read on AO3)

Sophie rolls her eyes as she opens the link her girlfriend sent her and puts in her earbuds. Biana has been incessantly pestering her to watch Keepers of the Chaos for so long that Sophie half wants to watch it just to shut her up, but she's always tired, or busy, and she doesn't really like watching new things. Still, Biana asked her very nicely to listen to this one podcast, and she looked very pretty when she asked, so Sophie's dumb omni ass couldn't refuse.

"Welcome to the Twins of the Chaos podcast," it begins after loading for an obnoxiously long time. The girl speaking has a pretty voice, Sophie has to admit- sweet and melodic and vaguely amused.

Maybe listening to this podcast won't be so bad if she can listen to that girl's voice the whole time.

But another person speaks, adding "Where some chaotic twins discuss our favorite show, Keepers of the Chaos," and his voice is not as pretty. She continues listening anyway, since Biana may or may not murder her if she stops.

The two voices- whose names are Linh and Tam, apparently- start talking about Keepers of the Chaos some more, giving Sophie a summary she's heard tons of times from Biana and Fitz- though the twins explain it slightly more coherently and with less... whatever the verbal equivalent of keyboard smashing is. Biana usually starts rambling about her favorite characters, like Lynn- not "Lynn the fandom mom," but the other Lynn- and Avery, or sometimes Nora and Darwin. Sophie doesn't understand any of those names and loses track of the conversation as soon as it involves too many unfamiliar names.

But Tam and Linh are making more sense, at least for the most part, until they start mentioning specific couples. The conversation gets again comprehensive soon enough, though, and Sophie does smile at the name "The Dark Duck."

By the end, when Tam says "half of them wearing sleeping masks with teal eyes painted on and the other half watching the chaos with mild amusement," Sophie is curious enough to be mildly intrigued. She listens to their outro music, and before she can regret it, types out a text message to Biana.

Sophie: fine

Sophie: ill watch it

Biana responds instantly with an array of heart emojis. Sophie blushes.

Biana: can i come over and watch with u?

Sophie: ok!

Sophie: moms making mallowmelt

Sophie: but u cant have any

Biana: >:(

Biana: hope u like being single then

Sophie: fine u can have some mallowmelt

Biana: yayyyy!

Biana: ily

Sophie: ilyt

Sophie: now lets watch ur stupid show

Biana: on my way!!!

Sophie smiles, shaking her head. She's a little annoyed, but fine, it sounds interesting enough from the podcast. And what else would she be doing? Studying? Having US history as an alternative would make even the most horrible of shows seem good. She stuffs her textbooks into her backpack and shoves some things out of the way so her room looks a bit neater before rushing downstairs. The mallowmelt smells good enough to make her mouth water.

"Mmm..." she sighs, barely taking time to let it cool off before taking a large bite. "That's so good. Thanks, Mom."

Edaline  smiles. "You're welcome. Just save some for your father and I."

"Fine, fine. I have to share with Biana, anyway." Sophie huffs and takes another bite. "She's coming over, is that alright? We're going to watch a show together."

"Sure, just make sure to get your homework done."

Sophie rolls her eyes. "Fine."

"And keep the door open!" Grady calls. Edaline laughs as Sophie's face flames.

"I'm going back to my room," she grumbles, taking a plate of mallowmelt with her and walking up the stairs. She manages not to trip over her own feet and drop the mallowmelt, thankfully, as she grabs her laptop and opens Netflix. Sighing, she searches for Keepers of the Chaos and clicks on the show that comes up before waiting for Biana to arrive.

The doorbell rings soon, and Sophie carefully sets down her laptop and her plate on her bed before rushing down the stairs. Panting slightly, she opens the door for her girlfriend. Biana's wearing a t-shirt with the Amsterdam flag on it. Sophie has no idea why. Maybe Biana likes the country? Her girlfriend is pretty weird. "Come on in," she says, realizing she's been staring. In her defense, Biana is pretty and Sophie is very omni.

"Ready to go watch Keepers of the Chaos?" Biana asks. She bounces on her toes slightly.

"Alright," says Sophie. "I set it up on my laptop in my room."

"Awesome! You'll love it."

Sophie follows Biana up the stairs and into her room. They sit on the bed together, Sophie leaning against the wall and Biana leaning against Sophie, and Biana presses play. Somber kazoos begin playing in the background as the theme song starts.

We're on the edge of chaos

No one is straight

We're making fanart

Because L*ura we hate

And we're gonna have teal eyes in the end!

We must be weird, and we must be gay

(We must be gay!)

We will find every bit of sanity that we have

And give it all to Lynn

Ohhhh

We must be gay!

Biana dances a little along with the song, and Sophie can't help but smile. A curvy, round-faced person with short dark hair and colorful earrings plays a few notes on the piano, and then a KEEPERS OF THE CHAOS logo flashes across the screen. Then, a group of students sit in a classroom.

"Shai! Tater! Lynn! You three finally got together?" says the same person who just played piano, gesturing to a redhaed wearing a Sappho lesbian flag cape. She's holding the fingerless-gloved hand of a lanky person with brightly colored hair, and they're holding hands with a tall girl who has chin length brown hair. The rest of the class applauds the fiancees before returning to their own conversations.

"Yep! Thanks, Ink," says Tater.

Ink smiles at them and turns to a person with light brown skin and golden hoop earrings partially covered by long dark hair. "Hi, Kiri, how was your break?"

"Good! Here's to a good 2021?" Kiri turns to the person next to them. "How about you, Ref?"

Ref has short brown hair and red glasses. "Yeah, my break was dOPE," she says, leaving everyone to wonder how he did that with their voice. "oH, and happy belated Hanukkah to Shai!"

"Thanks, you too. And guess what! I didn't set my hair on fire this year!"

A short guy with strawberry blonde hair looks concerned. "Um. Congratulations?"

"Thanks, Sam!"

Sophie looks away from the screen and at Biana. "There are a lot of characters..." she mutters.

"Yeah, but you get to know them well enough eventually," says Biana. "Now shh, let's keep watching!"

A lot of other characters are introduced in various conversations, and Sophie's brain has a hard time keeping track of them all. She does remember Tara, a curvy, bored-looking girl with long sideswept bangs, and Blue, a bisexual who may or may not be an arsonist. She doesn't know either of their personalities very well yet, but she likes them so far. Lucat, a pale, blue haired asexual, who later joins the Hanukkah conversation, also seems cool.

Once quite a bit of introductions are done- Sophie lost count at around twenty something- are over, an announcement comes over the school's loudspeakers.

"Welcome back, Tumblr High School!" announces a voice. "I hope you all had a good break. Now, the Tumblr staff have an important announcement for you all. High schools in this county, like ours, Pinterest High School, and Instagram High School, will be holding a competition. All members of the winning team will receive a scholarship to AO3 college. If you are interested, meet in room 69 after school. Now, onto other announcements..."

Somber kazoos play again as the principal's droning voice fades into the background. A montage of the previously introduced characters wishing they could go to AO3 college moves across the screen. After a few minutes of them zooming through school and talking about how fucking boring it is, all of them gather in the room (some of them with more jokes than others) to discuss the competition.

A blonde woman welcomes them into the room. They wait a while to make sure no one else will arrive, but once everyone is there, the woman clears her throat. "Hello, everyone! I'm glad you're interested in joining the competition. My name is Shannon Messenger, and I'm in charge of admissions at AO3 College. My coworker L*ura and I designed this competition."

Sophie gasps and looks at Biana. "L*ura? But isn't that the person they hate? They said that in the intro!" Biana smiles at her, and she blushes as she realizes that she's kind of... maybe... invested in the show now. She decides she'll endure the "I told you so"s later and looks back at the show, trying to telepathically tell the characters not to trust this L*ura person... and perhaps not Shannon either. It's too early to tell whether Shannon will be an antagonist or not.

"All of you will be working as a team to write a story together. The main premise is that a twelve year old girl named Sophia is a telepath, but she can't tell anyone her secret. Then, she meets a teal-eyed boy named Finn, and he tells her that she's an elf. She travels back to the elf world with him, where she struggles a bit at the elf school Firefox, makes friends with some other elves, learns that she is an illegal creation of a rebel group called the Dark Duck, and another rebel group- the Rarelynoticed- tries to kidnap and kill Sophia and her friend Deck. There are other details to be included into the story, which will be given out to the participants as a packet. The object of this competition is not to determine your ability at coming up with story ideas, but your ability to work in groups and execute well developed ideas. Does anyone have any questions?"

Someone raises their hand- a short, tanned girl. "Lynn?" prompts the principal.

"Did you say the rebel group was named the Dark Duck?"

"And the Rarelynoticed?" adds another person, with rectangular glasses and a red bracelet.

"Raise your hand before speaking, Auran," scolds the principal. "But yes, those are the names."

"Alright then," Auran mutters.

"Unless anyone else has questions, we'll be sending out sign up forms for everyone interested, and then we will distribute the information packets about your story. You can talk to each other and start planning."

No one else has questions, so once they've all filled out the sign up form, they gather in small groups and flip through the packets, making sarcastic comments or mocking names ("'Rarelynoticed' though-" a stylish hijabi named Raiin sighs as they come across a page of information about the group) as they try to form some semblance of a plan. Once they all agree that they've made a lot of progress, they make plans to meet up again soon and walk back home.

Unbeknownst  to them, a pair of ominous teal eyes watch from above.

Somber kazoos play once again, and the credits roll.

"So, what'd you think?" Biana asks as Sophie closes her laptop.

Rather inaudibly, Sophie mumbles "It was good."

"What was that?"

"It was good! I liked it!"

Biana grins. "I told you so." She leans over and kisses Sophie on the cheek. "Thanks for watching it. I have to go do some homework, awesome seeing you!" As she walks out, Sophie hears her singing under her breath. "We must be gay..."

[katierosefun]

well, even though literally no one asked, am i going to do a whole analysis on how the red album is also lowkey about tcw? sure. sh, let me indulge 12/13 year old me.

state of grace:

our wonderful opening track. the lyrics “just twin fire signs / four blue eyes”—from this line alone, i think a lot about anakin and ahsoka and obi-wan, just because what color are their eyes? blue. check and mate.

but on a more serious level: “and i never saw you coming / and i’ll never be the same” speaks to how each of these characters’ lives were interrupted by the presence of the other. obi-wan certainly didn’t expect anakin to come into his life, and i doubted anakin ever expected ahsoka to come into his life.

“love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right” and “these are the hands of fate / you’re my Achilles heel” speaks to how this whole theme of love and how both raw and burning and ruthless love can shine in this specific universe. specifically anakin’s kind of love. additionally, the idea of Achilles heel...i’ve already discussed the parallels between Achilles and anakin and don’t feel like rehashing, but it’s def. worth noting.

“this is the golden age of something good and right and real”...golden age. the war was messy and terrible and shouldn’t have ever happened, but also, i think for that brief moment, disaster lineage was at least together.

red

look me in the eye and lie to me about how this song doesn’t sum up the exhilarating rush that must have been being around someone like anakin skywalker.

“losing him was blue like i’ve ever known / missing him was dark grey all alone / forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met / but loving him was red”: this entire refrain is about that kind of ruthless, very fiery-seeing-red-everywhere kind of sensation that comes with love. (or, as the song alludes, a kind of dangerous love.)

and if we’re talking about dangerous kind of love—“fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there’s no right answer / regretting him was like wishing you never found out love could be that strong”...thinking thoughts about how there must have been all these times for the people around anakin to clash heads. bro. what even is that.

“remembering him comes in flashbacks, in echoes / told myself it’s time now, gotta let go”. ha ha. you ever think about the people who live after order 66 and wonder what the hell happened to the person they loved. ha.

treacherous

alright, time to put on the anidala hat. this song is supposed to be all about loving someone and constantly feeling like you’re sliding down a slippery slope. a treacherous path—a reckless path—and yet, and yet, “i like it”.

the whole concept of these two being put in a whirlwind romance matches perfectly with these lyrics: “i can’t decide if it’s a choice / getting swept away / i hear the sound of my own voice / asking you to stay”. this mess of a relationship that probably shouldn’t have happened, but it happened, and now the only choice for these two is to hold on...bro.

i knew you were trouble.

ohhhh god, do i need to explain how this is an anidala song or—

“i was in your sights / you got me alone / you found me”,,,the fact that anakin skywalker really looked at padmé amidala after ten years and automatically went “i love her”. a part of me will always sigh and want to pat anakin’s head that please, please, please control yourself, but what am i supposed to do anyways—

but also, the way this song also addresses all the dangerous things that come with a love that probably shouldn’t have started / shouldn’t have been born with so many secrets. the damning / basically self-loathing lyrics like “the joke is on me” and “shame on me now” is honestly kind of sad, and while i don’t think padmé ever regretted loving anakin (and i’ve covered this so many times, but i think anakin and padmé genuinely loved each other), there was def. a sense of constant danger and fear that one day, all the secrets will come tumbling out / something’s going to happen. and all that ultimately bubbles over in revenge of the sith, right when padmé looks at anakin and just doesn’t see him anymore.

all too well

tbh, this song deserves a whole long post on its own, but i’ll try to be concise. i genuinely think this could be about any of the tcw characters / tcw pairings, but because it’s my post and my obsession, i’ll discuss the disaster lineage. there’s something so quietly sad about the line “but you still got [my scarf] in your drawer, even now” and how that speaks to how obi-wan has anakin’s lightsaber / how anakin has ahsoka’s lightsaber both as himself and as ahsoka after ahsoka left the order / after order 66. the fact that you still have a piece of someone you love(d), long after they’re gone...

the fact that this song is so full of memories and longing and aching and grief over a loved relationship. thinking about the lyrics “you tell me about your past, thinking your future was me” is especially sad because while i don’t think anakin was ever completely open about his childhood / past, i like to think he must have told some stories to obi-wan and padmé and ahsoka about happier moments—and you have to wonder what kind of future anakin saw for himself with his loved ones.

“maybe this thing was a masterpiece until you tore it all up” speaks to how for a rare, rare moment, we see anakin skywalker as the hero we’re all supposed to like—and we see how it all crumbles apart so fast.

“but you keep my old scarf from that very first week / because it reminds you of innocence and it smells like me” hits especially hard when you think about how vader still has ahsoka’s lightsabers, or the fact that everything goes “back to when i loved you so / back before you lost the one real thing you’ve ever known”...thinking. a lot about anakin and how the love he felt / received from his friends were real, realer than anything that palpacreep could ever give him. it was all real, and now they’re all memories.

22

okay, this is just a fun song so i can’t really apply it anywhere, but i like to think there must have been a birthday somewhere along the line / some kind of happy event where there’s some chaotic tcw fam shenanigans. ditching the whole scene and “end[ing] up dreaming instead of sleeping”...i like to think they must have had some kind of happy moment like that.

i almost do

this song honestly reminds me the most of anakin and ahsoka. do you ever think that ahsoka might have wanted to reach out to anakin at some point? how “it takes everything in me not to call you”—how she might wish that she could talk to him again but every time she doesn’t, she almost does. (and ha. this makes their S7 reunion even more painful.)

the whole “i bet you think i either moved on or hate you” and “i bet it never ever occurred to you that i can’t say hello to you and risk another goodbye” speaks mostly to that very same reunion. the fact that ahsoka and anakin leave so many things unsaid—the fact that ahsoka restrains herself, cites that reason for the fact that they’ll just catch up another time...when that another time never happens.

we are never ever getting back together

hahaa, i can’t quite laugh about this but also i can because i kinda made a crack edit of disaster lineage + this song over the summer, and it really is just a joke but also...lol vader + ahsoka + obi-wan, but more specifically ahsoka and vader in their reunion in rebels lol. they’re never getting back together, geddit? they “used to think [they] were forever” and “[sigh] he calls me up again and is like i still love you and like,,,this is exhausting, you know?” yeah, me too sis. 🙄

stay stay stay

okay, okay, okay, maybe going a little bit into crack-y happy tcw feelings, but all i’m saying is that i love the image of these dorks staying for each other, you know? the whole “you took the time to memorize me” and “all those times that you didn’t leave / it’s been occurring to me i’d like to hang out with you for my whole life” and “no one else is gonna love me when i get mad” makes me kinda soft but also sad knowing that one of the tragedies of tcw fam is that no one really stays.

the last time

highkey the whole clovis arc in season 6. but anyways, especially the lines about “this is the last time i’m asking you this / put my name at the top of your list” speaks a lot to me about this hunger (yeah, this is @ anakin) to be someone’s first choice. it’s about the anger and jealousy and dull pain of knowing that everyone else’s priorities are elsewhere (and that’s not their fault, but you still feel like it is).

but if we’re thinking about the clovis arc especially, i think a whole lot about anakin + padmé, as well as anakin and obi-wan, esp. in these lyrics: “you wear your best apology / but i was there to watch you leave” and “all those times i let you in / just for you to go again”. we know anakin and padmé were...going through it in this arc, but specially anakin and obi-wan’s conversation—the one where obi-wan’s trying to reach anakin? we see obi-wan briefly open up (ie. about satine!) and anakin quickly shuts it down, and when obi-wan leaves, we see the pain on both of their faces because this wasn’t how the conversation was supposed to go.

but also, if we’re circling back to anakin and padmé’s relationship in this arc especially: the really, really painful lyrics about “this is the last time you tell me i’ve got it wrong” and “this is the last time i say it’s been you all along” and “this is the last time i let you in my door” and “this is the last time / i won’t hurt you anymore”...this arc truly explores just how deep the hurt can run when you have a secret relationship. how quickly love can blur into possession and jealousy and anger, and we see that in how anakin and padmé just...both crumble apart, especially in that one bit when padmé basically says she doesn’t want to see anakin for a little while. like. idk. it’s just sad, because this arc really showed just all the issues and problems within a relationship built on lies.

holy ground

oh god, what a fun song. but anyways, just to kick things off: “and darling, it was good / never looking down / and right there where we stood / was holy ground” speaks to a relationship that was good, even if it was wild and brief. which. disaster lineage.

the whole “i guess we fall apart in the usual way / and the story’s got dust on every page” and “i see your face in every crowd” vibe too—these idiots miss each other, and they probably see each other where they’re not supposed to. there was nothing unusual about their falling apart, of course, but something about this song compels me to think about how even in the grief and pain that ultimately drags ahsoka and obi-wan down especially, i think they still are fond of their happier memories with anakin.

also, “tonight i’m gonna dance for all we’ve been through” and “but i don’t wanna dance if i’m not dancing you” makes me a little sad because i think a lot about the fall of the empire and how the whole galaxy is out celebrating, but there’s a certain togruta woman who can’t completely celebrate because now she knows that. her whole family. really is gone.

sad beautiful tragic

this whole song is so tragic, but. anyways. more tragic disaster lineage vibes. the words “words, how little they mean / when you’re a little too late” makes me want to scream because i think a lot about how in rebels, ahsoka tells vader that she won’t leave him—not this time—and obi-wan crying that he loved anakin—the real tragedy here is that these were all words that anakin should have known deep down, but he didn’t, and they all felt late. their timing is terrible.

and “in dreams, i meet you in warm conversation” screams to me this one passage about how obi-wan dreams about anakin, although those dreams are anything but warm. but the idea of how obi-wan still dreams and how “time is taking its sweet time erasing you”—because in the kenobi novel especially, obi-wan explicitly struggles...a lot with anakin’s loss. he definitely gets...sad and tries to remember how the hell it all happened. he keeps pulling out anakin’s lightsaber and just. forcibly puts it away because he knows looking at it would cause just more grief and oh yikes.

the lucky one

ngl i forgot how fuckign good this song is,,,bro. anyways, i think this def. speaks to the og prequel trilogy trio especially, because i think they were all seriously going through with the whole...reputation thing. thinking mostly about how anakin, padmé, and obi-wan are all supposed to be these heroic / cool / beautiful figures who everyone’s supposed to look up to when in reality, they were all struggling with something. also lol the fact that obi-wan and anakin were both propped up as war propaganda figures in-universe because of palpacreep def. speaks to that whole “they’ll tell you now you’re the lucky one”.

and “they tell you that you’re lucky / but you’re so confused because you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used” and “you wonder if you’ll make it out alive” hurts the most, i think, just because how they apply to all those in prequel trilogy. anakin, obi-wan, and padmé—not to mention all the other jedi and the clones, oh god, the clones—were all fighting a war that ultimately didn’t matter, and they were all fighting a war that didn’t leave them as heroes. it just left them as pawns.

but i think if there’s any hope—any hope at all in this song, i think it’s in the last lyrics: “and they still tell the legend of how you disappeared / how you took the money and your dignity and got the hell out” reminds me the most of probably ahsoka and rex, or the people who survived the mess that was the clone wars. granted, rex didn’t exactly have the choice that ahsoka had, because she was the one who really made the big decision to look around herself and say “nope, i can’t be a part of this order”. she got the hell out.

everything has changed

hear me out, but i just think this makes for a cute anakin and ahsoka song, esp. their very cute beginnings. just like. as soon as they meet each other, both of them are ultimately changed. the fact that ahsoka has been noted to be the key to understanding who anakin is—the fact that it’s ahsoka’s relationship / interactions with anakin that ultimately makes him a better person because they’re siblings, your honor—yeah. very much the cute “all i know is we said hello”...the lyrics going on about “i just wanna know you better” and “your eyes look like coming home” makes me soft because. i think that while yes, they had their own rocky beginning, the difference between anakin and ahsoka’s relationship vs. anakin and obi-wan’s (rip i love anakin and obi-wan and i genuinely believe that obi-wan was the best teacher for anakin, and i think their bond is incredibly special, but.......boys please communicate better) is that i think anakin makes a really explicit effort to make sure ahsoka knows that like. he wants her around.

idk—i’m not saying obi-wan didn’t want anakin around! but i think one of the greatest tragedies of their relationship is that anakin always seemed to just. not click with obi-wan’s own demonstrations of love / i want you to be here messages. (the gambit duology goes a little more into this—only in those books, anakin and obi-wan actually talk a little about their feelings! which is nice!) but anyways, point being: anakin and ahsoka really looked at each other and were like “oh yeah. you’re my idiot now.” and i think that’s really cool of them.

starlight

oh god, this is kind of an anidala song but i also am tempted to say obitine song just because of that one line about “pretending to be a duchess and a prince” because,,,lol duchess geddit? and overall just think it’s really cute because. summer love!!!

but also, i do see this as an anidala song because “he was trying to skip rocks on the ocean, saying to me / don’t you dream impossible things?” because i see anakin as most certainly that dreamy-eyed boy who looks at padmé and is just. like that. (and we see a whole ton of that, esp. in aotc and how padmé initially is like “this is a terrible idea” and eventually winds up falling in love anyways, as one does.)

begin again

this song is odd because it doesn’t really give me overwhelming star wars feelings, but it does remind me a little bit of how ahsoka must have felt getting with the rebels crew. because i think ahsoka must have “watched it begin again” when she noted kanan and ezra’s interactions with each other, and i feel like when she’s with ezra, she sees a lot of the young padawan she used to be, and i think there must have been a point where she recognizes that “what’s past is past”. she’s watching everything begin again.

the moment i knew

this is another one of those songs that makes me sad about anidala because it seems like they’re always getting interrupted? the idea of being told that someone’s going to show but it might not happen because life (ie. war! there’s a war!),,,and still not being able to be really that sad about it in public makes me sad. just. i’m reminded of this one moment in tcw where anakin has to leave early because of something and just. the lyrics “what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn’t show”—like, of course, we see anakin sneaking off, but i def. think in that one tcw episode, we get a glimpse of. how lonely life might be if you’re just. waiting for someone to come home, only to realize that they might not show.

come back...be here

ha....hahahahaa weirdly both anakin and ahsoka and obitine feelings? give me a second.

okay, so as for anakin and ahsoka first: “i can’t help but wish you took me with you” hits hard just because of the time anakin tells ahsoka that he knows what it feels like to want to leave the order. just. oh god.

and then there’s this bit of “this is when the feeling sinks in / i don’t wanna miss you like this” hits hard, esp. considering the whole utapau arc where anakin accidentally slips in ahsoka’s name. he misses her, and i don’t think he really wanted to show that—but it sinks in so hard and fast for him, and it hurts so much oh god

also, the “right when i was just about to fall”: i know that in this context, fall is supposed to mean falling in love, but. the fact that anakin is literally about to fall like,,,a few days after his reunion with ahsoka. i cry now!

as for obitine: ahahahaha. pain, esp. considering how they probably separated after their year on the run? thinking about how that goodbye must have been like—mostly thinking about how there’s so much history between the two. how strange it is that they “didn’t know each other at all”, and how they might have had “the feeling they could know so much without knowing anything at all”, and now i think about how both of them could have “stumbled through the long goodbye”. i think a lot about those years of separation and how satine confesses how she had been in love with obi-wan for a long time—and how that in itself...wondering how or when satine knew for certain that she had fallen in love with the young jedi who came to her aid. thinking about how her “falling in love in the cruelest way” is how that whole falling in love—and realizing just how in love she was—is so cruel, because like. you know. when you’ve been in love / are loving someone for like...ten years....that’s kinda intense ngl

girl at home

lol this song doesn’t really fit with anything star wars related because i don’t think anyone in tcw would actually cheat on their loved ones? still 100000/10 a bop of a song though, and i still think it’s one of swift’s more mature songs, 10000/10 recommend.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Would you please write about Harrison and reader playing against each other in those bestfriend vs girlfriend quiz? Thank you! ❤️

Best Friend Vs. Girlfriend

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader x Harrison

Synopsis: you make a Best Friend Vs. Girlfriend challenge for your YouTube channel with Tom and Harrison

Masterlist

Requests are CLOSED

“Welcome back to my channel.” You waved at the camera with two hands as Tom and Harrison fidgeted and fixed their hair on either side of you.

“Hi.” Harrison said in a nasally voice.

“How are ya?” Tom mimicked his voice as they both made a circle with their hands. You realized they were imitating Jeffree Star and you let out a loud groan.

“This was a mistake.” You laughed at their antics right before Tom and Harrison kissed you on either cheek. You cut the video there and let your intro play. 

“Hi everyone! My name is Y/n L/n and today I’m joined by…” You gestured time Harrison, who looked deep in thought.

“Shouldn’t it be joined with? Like I’m joined with Harrison and Tom?” Harrison turned to you and asked. You made a face at him, asking why he decided to ask that in the middle of filming a YouTube video.

“No, it’s joined by because if you think about it-“ Tom started to give his opinion on the matter.

“AND JOINING ME TODAY,” you yelled above their bickering, “is Harrison Osterfield and my boyfriend, Tom Holland.”

“I think ‘my boyfriend Tom Holland’ should go first, personally.” Tom interjected, and you suddenly felt like a mother with her two troublesome kids.

“Tell you what, when I kill you both for making me upload a day late, you can go first? Sound good, Tom?” You asked sarcastically with a fake smile. Tom giggled at your threat and leaned into your side, making you laugh as well.

“God, when she threatens to kill you. Heart eyes.” Harrison said with sarcastic fawning.

“ANYWAYS”, you shot him a look that told him to zip it, “today, we’re going to be doing the best friend versus girlfriend challenge.”

“Because I’m Toms girlfriend.” Harrison nodded along. “Wait, you have to delete that, Y/n. The world doesn’t know yet.” He pretended to be panicked.

“They’re not ready to know.” Tom shot Harrison a fake flirty wink.

“Will you two behave? I don’t want to get demonetized for graphic content when this video shows me murdering the two of you while that guitar riff youtubers always use plays in the background.” You threatened again.

“That sounds like great content though.” Tom laughed and elbowed you while you gave the camera a death glare.

“Guys, give this video a thumbs up if you want Y/n to kill us on camera.” Harrison said to the camera with two thumbs up.

“Can we get started?” You asked them. “Please?”

“Yes, darling. I’m sorry.” Tom said sincerely as he gave your cheek a quick kiss. “What’s the first question?”

“I know what the first question is.” Harrison piped up. “Shouldn’t Tom be in the middle since we’re competing?”

“Haz, thats-“ ,you were about to scold him for interrupting again when you realized he was right, “a good idea. Tommy, switch with me.”

Tom got up and slid into your chair as you got into his.

“First question.” Tom smiled brightly at the camera once he was settled in his seat. “What is my middle name?”

“Stanley.” Haz blurted before you could say a word. “I get a point.” He looked at you with a boastful smile.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t get used to it.” You waved off his win.

“Have I ever stolen anything?” Tom read the next question off his phone.

“No.” Harrison answered quickly.

“I don’t think I have.” Tom nodded. “Haz gets a point.”

“I was gonna say you stole my heart.” You twirled your hair around your finger and Harrison gave you a nasty look for playing dirty.

“Awww.” Tom gushed and smiled fondly at you. “Sorry Haz. Y/n gets a point.”

You stuck your tongue out at Harrison behind Toms back, who promptly gave you the finger.

“Next one.” Tom cleared his throat. “What is RDJ’s name in my phone?”

“Oh.” You jumped, feeling the answer on the tip of your tongue. “Isn’t is ‘Daddy’ or something?”

“Daddy?” Tom gasped and turned his entire body to look at you. “You think I have Robert Downey Junior in my phone as Daddy?”

“Yes?” Your voice came out as more of a question.

“It’s The Godfather.” Harrison practically screamed. “I’m winning.”

“For now.” You assured him. “Ask the next question, Tom.”

“What did I brush my teeth with that one time instead of toothpaste?” Tom asked.

“Oh, I know this!” You clapped your hands. “Hair gel. You brushed it with hair gel.”

“That’s right! Good job, baby.” Tom kissed your lips quickly before returning to his questions.

“So I don’t get kisses for right answers but she does?” Harrison joked, making you and Tom exchange a look.

“What was the name of the ballet studio I went to as a kid?” Tom ignored Harrison’s statement and asked the next question.

“Wasn’t it called Twinkle Toes or something?” Harrison answered with a confidence he shouldn’t have had.

“Twinkle Toes? You think my mum sent me to a studio called Twinkle Toes?” Tom asked, almost offended.

“It was called Nifty Feet but GOD I hope your fans start calling you Twinkle Toes.” You laughed and mentally gave yourself a point.

“Spider-Man Far From Home starring Tom ‘Twinkle Toes’ Holland. Coming to a theater near you.” Harrison said suavely as he winked at the camera.

“It’s out of the theaters now, but sure Haz.” Tom said sarcastically.

“Oh, shoot. What’s the new movie you’re in? Apple?” Harrison asked Tom.

“Cherry.” You corrected with a smile. “That’s another point for me.”

“I’m gonna pretend my best friend in the world didn’t just say I was in a movie called Apple and move on.” Tom said under his breath. “What book changed my life?”

“The Outsiders.” Harrison answered with a nod.

“Nope.” Tom shook his head. “Y/n?”

“Trick question. You don’t read.” You smiled to yourself for knowing the answer.

“You know me so well.” Toms eyes shone with pride at you.

“Haha. Suck on that, Haz.” You taunted Harrison mercilessly.

“How about you suck my-“ Harrison began.

“Next question.” Tom interrupted. “Have I ever been dumped?”

“You’re about to be if I don’t win.” You joked.

“Another point for Y/n.” Tom laughed as Harrison rolled his eyes. “Have I ever seen a ghost before?”

“Well Haz gets pretty pale in the winter. Does that count?” You asked innocently. Harrison looked ready to kill you.

“You’re so loud, Y/n. Did you know that?” Harrison dished it right back to you.

“Really? Your dad never complained.” You shrugged and Toms draw dropped.

“Children, please.” He said and gave the camera a pointed look.

“I feel like I’m being scolded by the principal.” You giggled, happy Tom was now the one feeling like the mother of two kids.

“Or my father.” Harrison added.

“Ugh. Daddy.” You sighed.

“I have heard Y/n say ‘daddy’ more times in this video than I have heard anyone say it all year.” Harrison commented on your behavior.

“Really? I hear it every night OHHHH.” Tom put his hand over his mouth and cheered himself on like a frat boy. You shook your head at the camera while Harrison looked a bit horrified.

“Do you want me to get demonetized? Is that your goal?” You looked at the boys for answers.

“Yes!” Harrison almost jumped out of his seat. “Was that the answer? Do I get a point? Was that a nod? I think I saw a nod.” Harrison said as he gave himself another point.

“Moving on.” Tom interjected. “What side of the bed do I sleep on?”

“I hate that I know this, but it’s the right.” Harrison answered before you could.

“Except if he’s had caffeine.” You cut in. “Then he sleeps on every side of the bed and I end up on the floor.”

“That happened one time.” Tom held up one finger.

“That happened three times, and one of them was last night.” You made sure your fans knew the truth.

“Tom and I once had a sleepover and I woke up with him underneath my pillow.” Harrison had his own story about Toms violent sleeping habits.

“Is this the attack Tom challenge?” Tom asked in defense. “Because I don’t think it is.”

“You tell me, Twinkle Toes.” Harrison slapped Tom on the back and you let out a laugh.

“Don’t laugh! It only encourages him.” Tom said to you.

“I’m sorry.” You said through giggles. “Come on. We’re almost done.”

“What is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done?” Tom read the last question from his phone.

“This video.” Harrison blurted and you nodded in agreement.

“Okay.” You laughed. “You deserved that point. You can have it.”

“Thank you it’s been a pleasure beating you today.” Harrison said poshly as you shook hands to signal the end of the challenge.

“Who won?” Tom asked as he looked between the two of you.

“I think it’s safe to say we are all losers.” You said. Harrison nodded in agreement.

“That’s all we have for you today. If you liked this video-“

“I can’t imagine you did.” Harrison cut in.

“-then be sure to give it a big thumbs up. If you want to see more of these two-“

“Of course they do.” Tom vogued for the camera and you swallowed thickly.

“-then hit subscribe down below. Thank you for watching and I’ll see you next time. Bye!” You kissed your hand and put it over the camera as the video faded to a black out.

Tag List 🏷

@maybemona @sunrise-shawn @meghan-8520xx @writing-for-hours-on-end @lavender-writer @captainmandeestudent17 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @theolwebshooter @autumnlyholland @andreasworlsboring101 @guksmyfav @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @ho-ho-holland @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @m19friend

[impala666]

The One With The Dozen Lasagnas Part Three (Uma Thurman)

Warning for some Sexual Harassment!!! If this affects in any way, please don’t read!!!! 

Previous Part (Part Two), Series Masterlist

“What happened?” Monica asked Phoebe after she had dropped the mega bomb that Paolo, Rachel’s boyfriend made a move on her. 

“So he came in for a massage and everything was fine until..” Phoebe went on to explain that as she was massaging Paolo. Paolo kept stroking her legs as he laid on his stomach on the table. But it apparently got even worse when she told all of you that Paolo grabbed onto her ass. 

“Oh, my god.” All of you gasped in surprise and horror. 

“Are you sure?” Monica asked her just so she could keep the story straight. 

“Oh, yeah. I’m sure.” Phoebe told her as she smiled uncomfortably at Monica. “And all of a sudden his hands weren’t the problem anymore.” Phoebe cringed as she described that when she went to move around the table to get away from Paolo’s hands he rolled up onto his side with a smile on his face. 

“Was it..?” You started to ask but didn’t quite want to finish. 

“Oh, boy scouts could have camped under there.” Phoebe explained plainly for all of you to understand. Each of you making your own faces of surprise and disgust. 

“Ohhh,” everyone again said. 

“Ohhhh, what?” Rachel asked as she ran over so she could hear what Phoebe was dishing about. 

“Uma Thurman.” Phoebe quickly changed the subject. 

“The actress.” Ross helped using fake realization. To which all of you nodded and played along until Rachel walked away again and Chandler made sure that she was away. 

“So what’re you gonna do?” Chandler asked her as he leaned over the back of the couch.

“You have to tell her. You have to tell her, it’s your moral obligation as a friend. As a woman, I think it’s a feminist issue. Guys? Guys?” Ross asked the other two men, but you couldn’t help but look at him for how much he sounded like an idiot right there. But apparently Chandler and Joey weren't being of any help either. 

“Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.” Okay that you agreed with. 

“Feminist issue. That’s where I went.” Joey agreed, but you just looked at him blankly. 

“She is gonna hate me.” Phoebe whined at the mere thought of even telling Rachel. 

“Yeah, well…” Ross shrugged.

“Not ‘well.” You rolled your eyes at how this man was aggravating you. “I mean, how can she hate you?” Phoebe just rolled her eyes and shrugged. But Monica eyed you, encouraging you to continue. “No, I’m serious. It’s not like any of this is your fault, this was his disgusting choice.” You wanted to make sure that Phoebe wasn’t feeling guilty about any of this. “Believe me, I don’t think Rachel’s going to be mad you.” You told her with a smile as you reached over and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, and Monica put her hand on top of yours in agreement. 

******

It was later that day and Chandler, Joey, and you were at the furniture store looking at the various tables and chairs. “Here, how about that one?” Joey just pointed at what was in front of him. But he just made you cross your arms over your chest and glare up at him in annoyance; the three of you had already been there for over an hour. 

“That’s patio furniture.” Chandler pointed out as you swiftly nodded to Joey that it was true. 

“So what? People are gonna come in and think ‘uh-oh, I’m outside again.” Joey mocked.

“Well we can’t get that because it would just look ridiculous.” You spoke your truth. 

“What about the birds?” Chandler asked pointing to a horrible table set where the chair backs had different kinds of birds on them, to which to scrunched your face up and shook your head.

“I don’t know birds just don’t say “Hello, sit here.” Joey said, also voting no.

“You pick one.” Chandler said to Joey. 

“How about that one?” Joey pointed to an option that was even worse than Chandler. The seat was covered in ladybugs and the chair back looked like it was taken out of somebody’s body.

“So forget about the birds but big red insects suggest fine dining?” Chandler complained to him. 

“Oh, my god.” You groaned. “Just let me pick one because we have been here forever and clearly I have better taste than the both of you combined.”

“Then pick one Miss. Architectural Digest.” Chandler joked again as he gestured to the variety of different tables. Joey laughing at both you and Chandler bickering.

“How about this one?” You suggested the one you three had been standing by the whole time that had chairs on top of it. 

“Eh, I think it’s too I don’t know, feminine.” Chandler mentioned quietly. 

“How can a table be too feminine?” You asked. That was the dumbest thing to call a table. “Fine if you wanna get the birds! Get the birds!” You told him, you just wanted to get out of the store

“Not like that I won’t.” Chandler mumbled complaining about your attitude. “Kip would’ve liked the birds.” He pouted. Making both you and Joey to slowly turn your heads and glare at him.

*******

“So what do you think?” Chandler asked as Joey looked down at you waiting for you to smile, but when you didn’t he just wrapped his arms around your waist which made you smile a little. 

“I think it’s the most beautiful table I’ve ever seen.” Ross answered honestly as you all looked down at the new foosball table that the boys had bought when you weren’t looking.

“I think I gave you two one job, but I’m too lazy to return it to the store.” You also answered honestly. 

“Don’t you dare.” Joey threatened you for even joking about taking the table back. 

“So how is this going to work. You’re gonna balance plates on these little guys’s heads?” Monica asked, at least someone was on your side for this. 

“Who cares? We’ll eat at the sink.” Joey scoffed her off. “Come on lets play.” Joey and Chandler took up one end as you and Monica took the other end. 

“Heads up, Y/N/N.” Monica told you as she passed you the ball and without a second thought you pushed the ball right into the goal. “Score! You suck!” Monica mocked them for how easy it was to make that shot. So Monica and you promptly high fived each other and did happy dances while both boys across from you just pouted and glared at you.

[differentbuthuman]

I loved Raya and the Last Dragon and the only complaint I have is that it was made by Disney. Of course that’s more of a connecting point to all the small complaints I have but still.

Okay let’s dive in.

I was spoiled for this movie before I watched it. I was trying to decide if I should watch it considering I’m technically an adult and as such followed the content on all media sites that I could find. Now I didn’t exactly want to go to a theater to watch it considering and I didn’t want to pay Disney when I wasn’t going to a theater and was perfectly capable of waiting for it to come out free. I luckily didn’t have to wait long.

And I’m not saying that a certain website that shall not be named had it, but before I get into spoiler territory I just wanted to mention this cool site I found called soap2day.

Okay now that that’s out of the way past this point is spoilers, spoilers, and oh look more spoilers.

Lets start with the beginning. Raya sneaking into the cave with tut-tut’s help made me go awwwww and it should not have since we were supposed to think she was stealing something. And when I tell you how confused I got over that I mean I was really madly confused. Once she and the chief started joking around though I just had this Ohhhh moment that made me feel so so dumb. I loved everything about this scene. Would give it a ten out of ten. As the movie went on I realized that the taking off your shoes thing was a cultural thing and I liked that detail. Thank you whoever intervened and made sure Disney included some cultural accuracy

Side note I am a black American and I’ll do my best not to be offensive but the trope about Americans being ignorant toward other cultures and languages kinda rings way too true.

Now on to Raya’s adorable play fighting when she finds out all the clans were heading to the heart. It made me laugh and feel vividly reminded of my own awkward teen years that I’m technically still suffering through. I love how hopeful the chief is about everyone getting along and him and Raya teasing about how he definitely shouldn’t open with a joke.

Now, *takes a deep breath* Raya and Namaari had me going just date already the whole movie. Like Namaari shyly brushing her hair behind her ear, the twenty question game they seemed to be playing, them holding hands the entire time they’re going anywhere. (Is that a cultural thing, I don’t care if it is cause it’s still adorable, but I’m curious) I love that when it’s first revealed that Namaari is tracking Raya she realizes Raya is nearby because of a ring she was wearing in her hair six years ago when they met for like the first time. “I was scared you were going to become a cat lady, like me”? Who wrote these lines? I just wanna talk. I love the fact that there’s this scene where Raya is like I’m never having children and later in the movie Namaari is like getting crowded by children and she loves it.

*sighs in relief* Okay now that we’re finished with that we can get into the deeper parts of this story. Every character in this story is flawed. It’s what makes the so relatable. For the first time in a while I can say I watched a movie and didn’t immediately hate the main characters.

Chief Benja is a loving father and a strong warrior, who has such a companionate heart, but these traits play a part in the downfall of the lands. He was such a strong warrior that he felt assure he could handle any threat to stone this with his compassion lead to the decision to invite the clans and his part as a loving father lead to him lowering his blade allowing for the arrow that almost killed him to get as close as it did. He is so trusting that it is to a fault.

Then there is Raya, oh Raya, she’s cocky and untrusting. Even when the movie ends you still feel like she has a lot of growing to do. When her father pushed her into the river he told her not to give up on people but she did the exact opposite to the point that it got Sisu killed. She was so concerned for finding a way to save her father that it was as if she had simply froze herself in time with him and it was only when the movie was at the very end that she was unfrozen. Despite this it could be argued that she learned along the way what trust meant through the friends she made in every piece of the land. I think what she really learned was not to judge people by the tags she assigned to them.

Namaari is for she the Disney villain, but unlike the usual Disney villain no matter what she does you can’t see her as one. Throughout the movie it is so clear that she is never doing what she wants but instead what she has been convinced is best for her people. When she is trying to steal the stone it’s because she believes it will bring prosperity to her people, when she is betraying Sisu and Raya she does it because she has been convinced that the stone and Sisu are what’s best for her people. Even when she sacrifices herself she does it in the hope that it will be the best for everyone else. The most selfish thing she does the entire time of the movie is chasing Raya which she later justifies as getting the pieces of the stone and what Raya stole from her people.

Sisu is an unproblematic character who deserves all the love in the world. So her referring to herself as the kid who just turned the work in is crushing. Yet she like Chief Benja trust too much. It comes back to hurt her every time but she never gives up so I’ll admit that when her trust was validated I wanted to cheer a little.

Finally to wrap it up I would love to see an aftermath story of everyone picking up the pieces I mean time was frozen for six years for some people but for others it just kept going. Raya was twelve the last time her father saw her and I’d like to see him falling back into old habits so easily, but Raya struggling because she’s an adult now one used to being alone at that. I’d like to see how his years alone affect Tong and his family. I mean he was utterly alone the whole time. Everyone else had someone or something to keep them going but him. Is he sometimes just quiet for no reason? Does he fear letting his son? out of his sight? Then there is Boun when we saw him with his family he looked to be the same age as his sister. I’d like to watch his family try to readjust how they treat him accordingly. Plus he said he never left the boat, that’s six years on that boat. I’d like to see him try to adjust to other people being in what was his space, I’d like to see him being afraid of leaving the boat even though he knows it’s safe. I’d also like to watch more of Sisu, Namaari, and Raya just those three in general.

[edgyspit]

lazy day

  warnings: pretty toxic, possessive relationship/ very light violence

  pairings: illumi x reader/OC 

  notes: this really is super self indulgent  and mainly written to satisfy my own fantasies but I hope you can find it entertaining too!

illumi slips into bed and cuddles up with reader and starts to think about their future together

 It was still dark out when illumi got home and decided to slip in through the bedroom window. There she was, sprawled out on the on the bed covered by the sheets that were thin enough that illumi could tell she was naked underneath. He moved across the room quietly making his way to the bed. He sat on the edge just watching her. He was resisting the urge to kiss her and wake her up. Illumi knew she often had trouble sleeping; she had woken up numerous times over the nights they had spent together screaming and petrified because of her nightmares. No matter how concerned he was, he knew better than to ask what they were about, but he always made sure to comfort her until she fell back into a blissful sleep. He always offered to use acupuncture to help her relax and she rarely let him; she wasn't very fond of it. Mostly because she was never the type to accept help.

              Illumi began to play with her hair lightly for about half an hour until the sun began to rise. Slight shades of pink and orange began to fill the sky, but it didn't even compare to the beauty he was already admiring. He was eager for her to wake up but he knew she needed to get her rest. Eventually he decided to act on his selfish desire and grabbed her hair and pulled it lightly so she would be facing him.

"mmmm....hisoka?" she said sleepily

                Illumi's heart shattered and a million thoughts of betrayal ran through his head. His head began to throb and he was feeling a pain he couldn't begin to describe. Hisoka? Why hisoka? Has he been seeing her while i was gone? Has he been in this bed with her? Our bed? Unconsciously his grip on her hair had tightened.

                 "ow! relax ilu, i was just messing with you!"  She closed the gap between their lips and kissed him lightly. "i've been awake for a little while now, i just wanted to tease you after you pulled my hair!"

                   She was already starting to regret her little joke, it was too cruel. If she had thought it through a little more she'd have realized it wasn't a good idea. Illumi was already the possessive type and the last thing she wanted to do was plant a seed of doubt in his head. It would make him resent hisoka, but maybe that could benefit her...? No, that would be manipulative and she wasn't manipulate...at least not anymore. Not with him.  She laid a few more light kisses on his lips then turned back around.

"aren't you going to get up now?", he said nudging her

"no way! i'm staying in bed all day"

                      illumi groaned and pouted. He wasn't the type to stay in all day being lazy and he hardly ever slept. She smirked and pushed her body up against illumi's chest. She knew he wasn't exactly happy about her plan for the day but he would give in to her wishes like always. she curled up into a ball and he put her arms around her. It made her feel small and delicate like a flower, like she could almost be vulnerable and let her guard down. This was a rare feeling in her life. She always wanted to to be as close to him as possible. He had the softest skin and slender muscles that she loved to feel wrapped around her. He also had the most addictive body scent. In all honesty, illumi completely flooded her senses and took over all of her thoughts. She was always at peace when she was being intimate with him, it all just felt so right. She felt like this was home, illumi was her home.   Of course she would never admit any of this to him but she was sure he already knew.

                     After a few moments, she was sound asleep and illumi wouldn't dare move. He knew she always slept best in his arms and he had already been away for a little more than a week now. He had been on a business trip. Well...business trip was the most pleasant way of phrasing it. He knew that she had killed many people and it wasn't anything that made her uncomfortable but he hated the fact that she knew of such dark things. He wished he could protect her from all of it. As he watched her sleep, he thought about his feelings for her. His all-consuming love for her. He spent every minute of the day with her on his mind; he even made himself sick worrying about her when she wasn't around. Illumi knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself, but that still didn't stop him from worrying. He wanted to spend every day watching over her. He desperately wished he could make every decision for her and control her every move. That would be the only way he could possibly ensure her safety and stop feeling so anxious. Unfortunately, that wasn't possible considering the way she reacted when he simply asked to put a tracking device on her. She was furious and he couldn't comprehend why, they had a fight that dragged on for days until he finally apologized.

         Illumi was trying to be less controlling because it wasn't good for their relationship but he couldn't help himself. It was the only way he knew how to express his love. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and he hoped she felt the same. This was the first time illumi had felt something so intense for someone...more like the first time he had ever really felt something. She was the light in his life and there was no way he could let her go, he had already spent his life living in darkness and he refused to go back. he was planning on asking for her hand in marriage soon and he would take her to his family home. She would be much safer there, but ultimately it was up to her whether she wants to move or not. Illumi hoped she would make the right decision on her own, but if she didn't he'd simply have to make it for her.

        The door opened flooding the room with light and a head popped in. Both illumi and the girl shot up on high alert to face the threat.

"ohhhh what do we have here? hehe Ilu you never told me you were such a ladies man", the man said in a teasing manner

"hisoka get out!! i'm trying to get some rest"

"oh yes, i completely forgot i had made the arrangement to meet with you today. You needed my help with a task?" Illumi slightly tilted his head to side in a curious manner

"you forgot..? oh i see. obviously your plaything has been keeping your mind occupied" hisoka smirked. He laid his mischievous yellow eyes on the girl and she began to realize just how exposed she was

"oh i'm sorry did you not hear me? i sAID GET THE FUCK OUT HISOKA!!! AND YOU TOO ILLUMI" the girl's aura flared and the men knew she was serious and hurried out before she decided to attack.

              She had met hisoka a few years earlier in her arena fighting days, but they never really got along well. He always managed to push her buttons and get on her nerves. Back then she had only gone to fight to earn a little extra pocket change and cure her extreme case of boredom and emptiness. At that point in her life wandering aimlessly looking for anything that would satisfy her and  make her forget, it didn't matter where her search took her. She was already skilled at nen and was proficient in each category; this allowed her to make it to floor 200 pretty easily. That's where she met the stupid, devious clown. She would never admit it but her battles with him taught her a lot and were extremely beneficial. She was able to improve her nen and find her speciality as a conjurer. The girl is able to conjure up a red dragon made of nen that can be used as a vicious offense and an effective defense. She named it "Shini" as a reference to the god of death which proved to be a very fitting name.

          She was a little angry at illumi for not backing her up and making hisoka leave the room but she knew hisoka was a good friend of ilu's even though he often denied having friends because "assassins have no use for friends". last time she checked assassins don't have any use for girlfriends either but here we are. She began to wonder what hisoka could possibly need Ilu for and why he failed to mention it to her. It seemed like her plan of keeping him in bed with her all day had already been foiled and her curiosity kept her up anyway so she wondered if she could go along with them. As if he read her mind hisoka opened the door

"you know...we might really benefit from your help"

Almost faster than he could react she grabbed one of illumi's pins on the bedside table and threw it directly at his head. Hisoka closed the door just in time and it barely missed him.

"I'll be ready in a minute", she sighed

Her lazy day with Ilu was just going to have to wait.