#And they just put the pitchfork back in my hand and tell me I'm not stabbing hard enough. I'm a bad person and I'm bad at my job.

[ordinarytalk]

The plan is to stay in this hell job until I get public service loan forgiveness but damn if I'm not having a month that's making me consider just quitting right now and having all $50,000 of that debt fall right on my head just so I don't have to be here one single solitary second longer

[fuctacles]

<< 3 | 4 | 5>>

The storm comes to a head late at night in the form of knocking at his front door. It's muffled, but the space is small enough for him to hear. Confused, he closes his book to have a peek at his porch. He doesn't see anyone, but the weird knocking continues, followed by scratching. That eases his worries immediately and he opens up the door without much thought. Sure enough, his dog friend is sitting on the porch.

"What are you doing here this late?" Eddie asks, looking around as if the owner could show up out of the darkness with pitchforks and accusations. He moves to the side. "Come in, I don't think Steve wants to see me anyway. Leave as much hair as you want." Eddie smiles dryly at the dog.

Without a word, well, obviously, it's a dog, but without even a look in his direction, the dog moves towards his bedroom.

"Came in for sleepy cuddles, huh?" Eddie chuckles to himself. He latches back the door and moves towards the kitchen to grab a snack for himself and the dog. He's putting an extra slice of ham on a plate when a voice startles him, coming in from the closed doors to his bedroom.

Unmistakably human. Unmistakably Steve's.

"Uh, Eddie? Can I borrow some pants?"

Eddie's brain reruns a whole passage on mimics from his monster manual. Then on faeries and demons and goes straight into thoughts of Demogorgons. His walkie is in the bedroom.

"Eddie?"

He does the next best thing and grabs the heaviest pan he can find.

"I can hear you man," Steve's voice comes with a sigh when he approaches the door. "I swear it's me and I'm sorry for scaring you, I'll explain everything in a minute." Eddie lowers the pan. "But I'd really like to be wearing pants while I do that."

The request is weird enough to settle his nerves and finally open the door. And sure enough, there is Steve Harrington, butt-naked save for the blanket he wrapped himself in. 

"What the fuck?" Eddie risks speaking up, his grip on the panhandle tightening. He glances towards his window. It's closed and all the trinkets on the sill below remain untouched. "Where's my dog?" he asks next, eyes dropping to the floor.

"Come on, man." Steve's fingers twist in the fabric of the blanket, and his face is a picture of pure distress. 

Eddie decides to show some mercy and, not taking his eyes off the intruder, inches his way to the dresser where he fishes out that one pair of hand-me-down sweats he's never fully grown into. They should be big enough to fit Harrington's ass. If that even was him.

He throws the pants at Steve, who fumbles to catch them while keeping the blanket covering him up. They stare at each other for a long while until Steve raises his eyebrows expectantly. 

"You gonna turn around or...?"

Eddie shakes his head stubbornly. He crosses his arms for good measure, despite the pan making it awkward and uncomfortable.

"I'm only half convinced you're not a mimic. Or a Vecna hallucination. So no, I'm not turning my back on you," he scoffs.

Steve's eyes widen at the mention of their last demonic opponent. He seems to understand Eddie's reservations a little bit better. 

"I swear I'm not," he says softer, looking guilty for scaring his friend even further than he already had. "I'm sorry for freaking you out," he continues, turning around himself. The blanket drops and Eddie never had another butt-ass naked man in his bedroom before. Golden boy Steve, too, among his band posters and trailer trash glory? A truly poetic sight. 

"I just had to come clean."

Steve bends over and the sweats don't get pulled up fast enough for Eddie to miss the twin moles on his right cheek.

He turns back around quickly, scratching his forearm self-consciously.

"Dustin's right, I'm just making it more difficult than it has to be."

Okay, so maybe involving Henderson didn't backfire as badly as Eddie feared. On the other hand, he had half-naked Steve Harrington, squirming uncomfortably at his place, so it was hard to tell. 

"Well, I'm here and listening, so you can go any moment now," Eddie prompts him, leaning against his desk. He observes Steve open and close his mouth hesitantly, and rolls his eyes. "Okay, kitchen," he commands, straightening up. When Steve doesn't move, he points at the door with his pan. "You go first, I don't trust that you're not gonna turn into something else."

Steve has made half a step when his eyes widen.

"You figured it out?"

Eddie raises his eyebrows, pan twisting in his grip half-threateningly. 

"So you are a mimic?"

"I don't know what a mimic is!" Steve groans, frustrated. "I just turn into a dog."

At first Eddie's ready to scoff, maybe throw the pan at him, but as he studies Steve's expression, he frowns. Slowly, he connects the dots in his brain.

"You've been the dog all this time?"

Steve nods.

"That's why I never saw you? Because you were right there, turned into a fucking dog?" he asks incredulously.

"Yeah," Steve admits, folding in on himself like he wanted to disappear.

Eddie puts the pan aside and starts pulling his rings off, one by one. Steve eyes him warily, and it takes him a moment to speak up.

"Uh, what are you doing?"

Eddie looks him calmly in the eye.

"I'm going to punch you now, and I don't want to cut you up."

Tags: @noodle-shenaniganery @jaytriesstrangerthings @imaginary-maggie-waggie @samsoble

[mj0702]

The other Bronze – Pt.8

Okay... this is the last Barça part for now (hold your pitchforks - we will get back to Barcelona in the future)

I feel different about this chapter since there's less chaos and more feels but I still hope you like it❤️

I can't put into words how much I appreciate all your support especially @samkerrworshipper and @valewosomtb but also all you anons like my lunatic and gold star ❤️❤️ now go and enjoy 11k of Bronzeness

As soon as Keira and you entered her flat she retreated to the kitchen letting you standing in the hallway

“You need help Kei?” you asked knowing full well she'll decline since you got banned from kitchen duty after you nearly cut off your hand when you wanted to help her and Lucy one night (back in the day back in england) and the night ended in hospital

“You already know the answer to that, Bitsy... go shower...” you heard her yelling back as you heard pots clatter

“I showered at the Beach... with the sexy spaniard” you said now moved to stand in the kitchen entrance

“And then you went to have your little outbreak in the Sea... believe me... you'll want to shower or you'll wake up in the middle of the night itching and scratching your skin off... and I swear to god if you wake me up at 2AM because you decide it would be a good time to shower I'll have your head” the blonde englishwoman answered measuring some stuff for your requested Shepherds pie

“But I don't have my shower stuff here and yours is so... flowery” you whined

“Your choice Bitsy... but I really will have your head if you wake me up in the middle of the night...” Keira looked at you raising an eyebrow in challenge

“Ugh” you huffed pushing yourself of the doorframe as you dragged yourself towards her bathroom

“Good choice” you heard the blonde yelling after you and you could hear the smirk in her voice

“Good choice” you imitated her under your breath “I'm gonna smell like a fucking field of poppies”

After 20 Minutes you cracked opened the door of the bathroom a little bit to yell for Keira

“Keira???!!!” you yelled loudly so she would hear you in the kitchen

“What?” she yelled back and you could hear a nuance of annoyance in her voice

“I forgot clothes” you yelled as Keira stayed in the kitchen and you didn't want to leave the bathroom in your (her) towel

“Ugh kid... I still don't know how you survive without me constantly around” she said as she came out of the kitchen walking down the hall to get you some clothes

“I have a good system of supporting people around me... I refer to them as my cult” you said as she passed you “they make sure I don't die – they're too scared of you”

“I bet... let me guess... Mary, Millie, Rachel, Tooney and Russo?” Keira rolled her eyes knowing you have basically all her lionesses teammates wrapped around your pinkie and if you just look at them with HALF a puppy eye they all scramble to grant you every wish

“And Hempo and Meado and Scotto and Viv and Daan and Greensie and ChloChlo and Leila and Guerrero and Stina and Lia and Kimmi and...” you counted on your fingers smirking as Keira made her way back to you some shorts and a shirt in her hand

“God... you really always get whatever you want” she rolled her eyes but a smile tugged on her lips

“Not everything... otherwise you'd be a Bronze” you shrugged your shoulders as you took the pieces of clothing out of her hand and shut the door

“Don't do that Bitsy...” Keira sighed against the door “... it's not your fault”

“But it feels like it” you answered from inside the bathroom fighting with your balance as you tried to get into the shorts but struggled since you suddenly were overcome with a wave of dizziness

“It's not... stop telling yourself that... it just happened Bitsy...” Keira answered softly as she heard a crashing sound from the inside “You okay Bits?” she asked a little concerned

“All good” you said quickly picking yourself up from inside the shower you fell backwards into “Got stuck on the shorts”

“Dear jesus chirst kid.... I swear you're so clumsy at this point it's more luck than sanity that you're still alive...” the blonde huffed out

You tried to stand up again only to find the room spinning again so you decided to do something you hated doing

“Kei help please....” you said your voice low

Keira knew that when you actually asked for help it was a serious matter so she quickly pushed the door open to find you sitting in the shower back against the tiles

“What's wrong Bits?” she asked concerned crouching down in front of you

“Room's spinning” you mumbled

“You have a headache too?” the blonde asked already knowing what's wrong with you

“Little bit...” you answered honestly

“You have a sunstroke Bits...” Keira smiled lightly “Not used to the spanish sun...”

“Is not fun” you mumbled trying to contain the nausea

“Come on Bits...” the blonde huffed pulling you up into a standing position but keeping a good hold of you “... you gonna lay down on the couch and rest okay...” she said before leading you back into the livening room minus the shorts so you were just in your boxers and a sports bra

“My shorts” you whined

“First... these are MY shorts and secondly... you don't need shorts.. it's just me” Keira said softly before deposing you on the couch “Gonna bring you some water okay”

“Kei...” you whined “... I'm not feeling good”

“I know Bitsy... I know” the blonde sighed before getting you the promised water

“Why am I feeling sick?” you whined turning onto your side

“Sunstroke Bitsy... drink some water... it'll help I promise” Keira said lovingly as she stroke softly through your hair

You carefully took small sips of water as Keira decided to sit down by your head her hand never leaving your face. Softly stroking through your hair, over your forehead or caressing your cheek smiling softly as you continue to whine about how bad you felt

“Take a nap Bitsy.... that'll help too” the blonde englishwoman spoke lowly as she saw your eyes dropping

“You not mad anymore?” you asked half asleep

“I was never mad Bitsy... I was scared” Keira said softly “You mean the world to me, Bitsy and alone the thought of loosing you without being able to do anything scared me – really scared me”

“You mean the world to me too Kei... you're always there” you sighed as Keira started to lightly scratch your scalp

“I've seen you grow up Bits... you fought so many battles and still grew into an amazing person I can't nor do I want to imagen a world without you in it... you have so much more to explore and offer and seeing you out there... without anyone responsible near it squeezed all air out of my lungs Bits... you really can't do things like that” you heard the crack in her voice at the end and force your eyes open again.

Even with your blurred eyesight you could make out Keiras tears

“Kei...” you said lowly waiting for her to look at you “... nothing's gonna happen to me... the stupid always have the luck on their side... so I'm safe... won't leave you Kei... you're my sister too you know... and most of the time you're the better sister.. I love Luce really love her – but I love you just as much because I know you're always there for me... I promise I won't leave you Kei...”

“You can't promise something like this Bitsy... because if you ever break this promise I'm gonna break... not only are you like a sister to me, you are basically my child...” Keira said her voice heavy

“I never broke a promise with you” you said your voice insisted looking her straight in the eye “I never did and I never will...”

“I need you to PROMISE me to start thinking before you do things Bits...” the blonde said and you knew you would never EVER break that promise

“I promise...” you just answered and Keira could hear the honesty in your voice “But you need to promise to never leave me”

“I promise Bitsy... wherever I end up either in my career or afterwards... I'll be always there for you” Keira said softly

“Good... because let's be honest if I have to live of Luces cooking I'm gonna be gone pretty quickly because of food poisoning” you said as a matter of fact

“She got better... she doesn't burn the pasta anymore...” Keira smiled through her tears

“Kei... she was meant to BOIL the pasta... she's the only person I know who burns pasta in cooking water!!!! And she stuffed fish-fingers in a toaster and nearly burned our flat down!!” you exclaimed bewildered

“I know... she had some... questionable ideas” Keira tried to find the right words

“She has shit ideas when it comes to cooking,... I mean who thinks it's a good idea to serve RAW fish” you exclaimed loudly

“To her defence... sushi is raw fish” the blonde said

“WHEN IT'S FRESH IT IS.... this... thing was probably a week old... and on top of that she KNOWS I hate fish” you couldn't contain your outburst

“Fish is good...” Keira smiled knowing just how much you despise it

“Nope... nuh-uh.... it's disgusting... it normally looks at you when served...” you shook your head which reminded you immediately of your nausea again “Uh... wrong move” you mumbled

“Oh Bitsy...” the blonde sighed putting her hand against your forehead “You're burning up... I'll get you some paracetamol and then you'll have a nap... if you feel up to it later we can eat a little bit and then off to bed you scramble”

“Ugh please no paracetamol” you whined

“Ah yeah... I always forget that you always get sick from paracetamol... Aspirin it is then...” the blonde said pitiful as she softly stroke over your forehead experienced first hand before how bad a sunstroke feels

“Can I call G?” you whined miserable

“Of course Bitsy... why are you asking?” Keira asked confused

“Didn't know if you'd be a fan of me calling her... Lucy is not a fan” you mumbled your eyes already dropping again

“Lucy is very much a fan... but more and foremost she's your sister... she swore to protect you Bitsy” the blonde chuckled getting her phone from the side table dialling Georgias number

“Hey best friend... what gives me the unwanted pleasure of you calling me?” Georgias happy voice came out of the speaker and you could hear the smile in her voice

“You really milking that best friend card since Leah is out” Keira deadpanned but couldn't help but smile too

“I mean... I take what I can get...” the younger blonde said grinning “But seriously... what can I help you with”

“Not me.... but you could help your girlfriend out” Keira chuckled

“Ehrm... while you're there?” Georgia asked unsure and you could just picture how her cheeks flush and she rubbed the back of her neck

“Dear jesus... not like that” Kei exclaimed “What is wrong with you??”

“I haven't seen her in WEEKS, Kei... WEEKS...” the younger blonde insistent

“I don't CARE” Keira said back just as insistent

“G” you whispered exhausted

“Hey baby” immediately your girlfriends voice changed into a soft caring low tone

Keira left to finally get the shepherds pie into the oven but still was listening to your conversation with one and a half ear

“Not feeling good” you whispered

“What happened baby...” Georgia asked softly

“Parrently M not used to sun” you mumbled

“You're english... of course we're not used to sun...” your girlfriend chuckled lightly “... what you need from me baby?”

“Just talk... M sleepy” you mumbled your speaking slurred with sleep

“Usual topics?” Georgia double checked softly

“Mhm” you mumbled confirming

“Okay... sooooo... I kinda overslept this morning... but just like... 20 Minutes – still made it to training in time but I couldn't stop at that little bakery.. you know the one on the corner with the colourful dotty thingies on the windows... but I'll make sure to stop there tomorrow again...” Georgia began to lowly tell you about her day with all the little details as you slipped into a peaceful slumber

As your girlfriend heard your even breathing she stopped talking for a second before asking

“Keira?”

“Yes?” the blonde answered

“She asleep?” Georgia asked already knowing the answer

“What do you really want to ask, G? What's on your mind?” Keira chuckled

“How mad is Lucy?” your girlfriend mumbled concerned

“Lucy isn't mad... she's protective... I can promise you deep down inside she's relieved it's you... you're a good person, G and Luce knows that... and I'm happy it's you – because let's be real for a second... any girl Bitsy would have brought home would run for the hills after a “talk” from Lucy Bronze – you can handle that just fine. So Lucy isn't mad... but you're dating her baby sister... she swore to protect her no matter what since the moment she found out y/n will be a girl... and she waited 16 years to give someone “The Talk”... so she'll act all overprotective and threatening and what not but in secret she's happy for the two of you... just let her waltz over you with her “If you're hurting her”-talk and smile politely” Keira said knowing G needs some reassurance right now “Just... don't kiss her in front of Lucy right away... baby sister and all that”

“No kissing got it” G repeated nodding her head – even if no one could see it

“I didn't said no kissing... I said no kissing in front of Luce” the blonde corrected her younger friend

“Isn't that the same thing?” Georgia asked confused

“Gosh G... get creative... didn't YOU tell me about 30 minutes ago you haven't seen your girl for weeks” Keira huffed out as she left the living room with her phone to check on the shepherds pie

“I mean... yeah... but that would involve a lot more than kissing” G answered and Keira could hear her embarrassment

“I love you G, I really do... but I won't cover for you or get Lucy of your backs.... just saying” the blonde said as she pulled dinner out of the oven

“Can we not... talk about that... maybe?” your girlfriend asked even more embarrassed

“We're grown ups, G... we can talk about sex” Keira rolled her eyes before speaking to herself “Do I wake you up Bitsy or not?”

“Why do you want to wake her up? I literally just put her to sleep” Georgia ignored the first part and just jumped on the you-waggon

“She should eat... but as you said... she just fell asleep...” Keira mumbled looking over to your sleeping form

“Wake her... I still got time so I can bore her to sleep again” G said happily

“How often do you talk anyway?” Keira asked finding it quiet endearing how your relationship blossomed and she was very grateful that she was one of the first (if not the first) to witness it

“You mean like now? Or texting?” your girlfriend asked

“Like now.... you immediately knew what she needed – it's cute” the blonde grinned

“Every Day... even when I have games we make time... if it's just five minutes” Georgia said and Keira could hear how important it was for the younger girl

“Didn't peck you as a routine girl, G” Keira teased her friend

“It's important to her....” your girlfriend answered and her voice showed nothing but love for you.

“God G... you sound like your neck deep in love” the blonde chuckled but was met with silence from the other end

“G??” Keira asked kinda bewildered

“Yeah... still there” the younger one mumbled ashamed

“Talk to me G” the blonde encouraged her

“I know it sounds stupid but... god Kei I do love her... I know we haven't dated for long but... I can see her as my forever... I know it's early to say something like that but it feels so different with her... good different...” Georgia tried to put her feelings into word

“Calm down G... it's okay.. it's just me... honestly... I can see it too – you shouldn't say anything like that to Luce tho... at least not for the next... 10.... no... 25 years” Keira said softly and tried to lighten the mood a little bit

“It just... it scares me a little bit I never felt like this about anyone” Georgia explained

“G... if you know, you know... and it's okay to get scared or overwhelmed... but you need to talk to someone – ideally with y/n but you can always talk to me too... keep communicating” the blonde said trying to calm her friend down

“I just never felt like this... like... she's my air you know... god I sound so cheesy... but when I look at her nothing else matters... when she smiles it's like getting hit with a truck and Kei.... when she laughs... it's the most beautiful sound in the world” your girlfriend said and Keira could just HEAR the love

“Tell her G... tell her that every day... because even if they always act so tough... both of them Bronzes need to hear things like that” Keira said softly

“How do you know?” Georgia asked confused

“And she's back” the blonde rolled her eyes “Why do all of you always forget that I dated a Bronze.... for YEARS”

“Ah yeah... you dated the other Bronze” your girlfriend laughed

“Technically I dated the one Bronze... you date the other Bronze” Keira said

Suddenly there was a crashing sound from the living room followed by a whined “Keira” and Keira groaned

“She fell of the couch again?” Georgia asked knowingly

“Yep.... catch you later G... I have to go aid your girlfriend” the blonde huffed

“Tell her I love her, yeah” your girlfriend said hopefully

“Will do... see you in a few days in Camp G... and G” Keira said

“Yeah?”

“You're good for her... Lucy will see this too... so don't let Luce push you around... stand up for your relationship” the blonde said and her voice had a loving tone

“Thanks Kei... I mean it” your girlfriend answered honesty

“KEIRAAAAA” you whined from the floor of the living room

“COMING... jesus...” the blonde yelled back “See you in a few day G...” she said before ending the call

“What happened there Bitsy, hm?” the blonde asked you as she knelt down beside you

“Fell off” you mumbled

“I see that” Keira chuckled “You want to go back to sleep or eat a little bit”

“Shepherds pie?” you asked your eyes shining hopefully

“Waiting in the Kitchen” the blonde smiled as she pulled you up by your good wrist “After that you go straight to bed, do you hear me?”

“Yeah mom” you mumbled and Keira noticed you're definitely still asleep

Keira basically had to feed you since you nearly face planted into your plate several times before she dragged you back to her guestroom. As usual you didn't want to sleep alone so you just started to whine until the blonde gave in once again leading you towards her bedroom. You were dead asleep the second your head hit the pillow so Keira just threw a blanket over you and went back to the living room after she cleaned the kitchen and started packing for her (hopefully) call-up to national camp. Just as Kei was halfway through her packing her phone rang and Lucys name showed up on the display

“What can I do for you ex?” she grinned into the phone as she locked her phone in between her ear and shoulder to have her hands free

“Hello to you too other mother of my princess... Bubs around?” Lucy shot back but Keira knew she wasn't serious

“OUR princess, ex...” the blonde corrected grinning “Nope... your sister is dead to the world in my bed”

“I KNEW there was something going on... G is just a cover, innit?” Lucy exclaimed and faked being shocked

“Oh no... you figured us out” Keira answered monotonous and pausing for a second before starting to chuckle “What you need from her? Not that I could get her up anyway but I'm sure she'll be up at some point in the night”

“I actually need YOU” Lucy mused and Keira heard the slight begging undertone

“Oh my Luce... I thought we were past the sex with the ex act... does Ona know what you're proposing right now?” the blonde just couldn't give up such an opportunity to tease her ex girlfriend

“Oh my god... no... not for that... that front is very well covered thank you very much...” your sister stuttered shocked which caused Keira to start laughing “I need you to bring y/n with you to training tomorrow...”

“That's a given” Keira rolled her eyes “You think I'm gonna leave her out of my sight after the stunt she pulled today?”

“... as fast asleep as possible” Lucy finished her sentences ignoring Keiras interruption

“She definitely outgrown the dino-harness...” the blonde said knowing exactly what Lucy was planning

“I... modified it?” your sister said slowly

“Modified it?” Keira asked confused

“The buckle just works like I belt... so I strapped a belt into the buckle so it would fit...” Lucy said reluctantly

“She will throw a whole ass tantrum you know that right... and you want me to get involved as well” the blonde said warningly

“I know... but come on Kei... she proved today that she actually is not grown up enough to be left to her own devices...” your sister huffed out

“Did it accrue to you that she actually IS grown up enough and she just lets her guard down around you because she knows you're the only person in the entire world that will always be in her corner no matter what... I mean... except for me” Keira said and she knew she hit a nerve when there was no come back from the other end of the line

“I was scared Kei” Lucy admitted her voice low

“I know... I was scared too Luce... but she's growing up... you have to let her make mistakes” the blonde sighed knowing it was so hard to let you off the (imaginary) leash

“I know... but let me have my moment tomorrow.. I'm taking the blame... tell her you didn't knew” Lucy begged a little bit

“If she doesn't talk to you for weeks don't come to me crying” Keira warned “You have a girlfriend for that now... not my problem anymore”

“Deal... but I promise I'll get in her good books at end of training again” your sister said and Kei could hear her grin

“Do I want to know?? I feel a headache forming” the blonde mumbled

“I'll let her drive my Cupra... we just need to wait long enough till the parking lot is empty” your sister said excited thinking she could fulfil a wish for you

“Oh Luce” Keira sighed

“I know... she's going to be so happy” Lucy could hardly contain her excitement

“Oh you have no idea” the blonde tried to warn her friend without saying too much

What Lucy of course didn't knew was that Jill (Scott), Millie and Rachel gifted you 10 driving lessons for your birthday – but not just driving lessons they were stunt driving lessons. Of course it was mostly courtesy of Jill who knew a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy. So while your sister was under the dreamy impression that she would make you happy being the first one who's letting you drive (even if it was kinda illegal) you perfected the art of drifting, donuts and race gear shifting. And of course how to use the breaks – you weren't completely stupid. But it was the second best present this day. Jill even went so far in buying you race driver shoes – like formula one shoes.

“So you bring her in tomorrow?” Lucy asked hopefully

“Asleep as possible... I'll get her to Nuo around 8... you better be there and get her in that harness before she interacts with Mapí because that will kick-start her” Keira sighed again knowing tomorrow will be an absolute disaster.

“Thanks Kei” your sister said happily “I'll wait in front of the locker room for you”

“You owe me Luce...” the blonde replied

“What do you want?” Lucy asked interested

“I want to have Narla over Christmas” Keira said

“Hard bargain there, Walsh... but okay... but I get her new years” your sister huffed out

“Okay... 8 o'clock locker room.. if you're late I'll let Mapí talk to her” the blonde threatened playfully

“Aye woman...” Lucy answered and Keira could just picture how she put her hand up to a mock salute

“Hate you” the blonde grinned

“No you don't.... see you tomorrow Kiewa” your sister answered using a stupid nickname you once tried to get spread through national team

Keira just hung up continuing to pack some shirts before she called it a night too. She carefully entered her bedroom to find you still dead asleep but you moved to her side your nose pressed deep into her pillow

“Why can't you always be so sweet?” the blonde mumbled lowly a slight smile on her lips

As if you heard her you started to snore – very lightly which caused Keira to laugh quietly before laying down on your other side. Just like always you immediately noticed the “intruder” as you turned around still asleep as you cuddled up to Keiras side

“Bitsy come on.. wake up... we're leaving in five” Keira shook you awake next morning

“Nooooo...” you whined sleepily turning away from her “... five more minutes”

“We're leaving in five, Bitsy... come on... up and at em” the blonde didn't give up “Up... now... teeth, clothes, car” she said sternly

“Kei... nooooo” you whined trying to get away from her shaking

“Up NOW Bitsy” the blonde got even more firm – which she hated herself for

“Yeah okay... I'm up” you grumbled as you stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom

Exactly 5 minutes later you stood at the door where Keira was waiting for you impatiently. You had your shirt on backwards, Barcelona training kit shorts which were slightly too big for you and a England bucket hat on your head

“Is that my bucky?” the blonde asked confused

“Couldn't find anything else and I'm NOT sitting in the sun today... learned my lesson” you mumbled and Keira noticed how grumpy you were

“Come on Bitsy... I'll get you coffee at Camp Nuo” the blonde said hoping to get your spirits up just a little bit – at this point you'd probably rip Lucys throat apart with your teeth if she'd touch you and buckle you up in the harness. She decided to give Lucy a warning which your sister replied with a thumbs up

“Kay” you mumbled as you stumbled towards Keiras car

23 Minutes later you arrived at Camp Nuo and Keira manoeuvres you expertly through the long hallways

“Jesus... bet some people died in here trying to find a toilet” you grumbled as Keira pushed you around another corner which caused the blonde to chuckle behind you her hand never leaving the small of your back

“Not so bad once you figured it out... you were here before, you know.. you just were very VERY high... Alexia lost you twice – not that your sister knows but still... Capi needed to confine someone” Keira laughed

“I actually don't know... I was high... I know NOTHING from that day” you grumbled as you spotted your sister waiting in front of a door that looked just like the 500 doors you already passed.

“Bon dia Bubs” your sister smiled warmly

“Bon fuck yourself” you grumbled while you walked passed her thinking you need to keep going as Lucy grabbed your shirt to pull you back

“Locker room is this way” she said not letting you get to her nerves as you outright sweared at her.

Next thing you knew was that you were buckled up in something and as you looked down you spotted the familiar face of Bronzo the Bronto (courtesy of Dszenifer who thought it would be funny to name your dino-harness Bronzo). Before your brain could even recognise what just happened you heard Lucy victorious chuckle “Still got it”

“Wha... Wha... Wait what??” you stuttered as you tried to comprehend what just happened

“It's okay Bubs... just want you to be save” Lucy said lowly knowing this could go two ways. Either you accept it since you haven't even had coffee yet OR you could completely explode.

Your brain choose option two for you and you just started to sprint. Your sister didn't see that coming she was more prepared for you to attack her directly so you got a few meters between the two of you before Lucy grabbed the leash tightly in her hand trying to stop your running. What she also wasn't prepared for was the strength you could get out of your fury so Alexia was met with a angry faced running you as she rounded the corner as you basically dragged Lucy behind you who still tried to get you under control

“Bubs come on... calm down” your sister tried again “Bon dia Capi” she smile quickly at Alexia before she got dragged on

“I... don't even want to know” the blonde spaniard mumbled to herself as she continued her way to the locker room

“The Bronzes out there?” Keira asked as Alexia entered the changing room

“This way... Cariño seemed quite aggressive this morning” the blonde pointed to the right

“Yeah... Lucy jumped her with the dino-harness... did anyone had any blood on them?” Keira asked getting a little concerned when Alexia used “aggressive”

“Not that I saw... but the Cariño pulled Lucy around like she weight nothing...” the spaniard answered as she tied her cleats

“Yeah... y/n in a bad mood is someone you don't want to cross...” the blonde englishwoman said as she stood up from her cubical grabbing her water bottle

“And why exactly is Cariño pulling around Lucia?” Alexia now questioned as she copied Keira and grabbed her bottle as well when the two women make their way to the field

“You'll see” Keira grinned knowingly

“Bon dia” the two blonde smiled towards the media staff as they recorded the famous arriving of the players

“LEFT!!! TO THE LEFT!!!!” the whole team heard Lucys yelling and all heads turned towards the tunnel exit

“I'LL PRESENT YOU MY LEFT TO YOUR NOSE IN A SECOND!!!!! LET ME THE FUCK GO!!! THIS IS LITERALLY KIDNAPPING!!!” you shouted back and Keira heard that you were about to lose it

“HA!!!!!” Lucy exclaimed as she pulled you out after her “You admit you're a kid... so you get treated like one.... Bon dia” your sister smiled at the camera having the leash over her shoulder walking slightly hunched forward as you got pulled backwards.

“I swear to god Lucy... I rip you to pieces” you sneered as you passed the media staff

The whole team watched the interaction between the two of you and before you knew it you heard a loud laugh. Mapí just couldn't help herself as she saw you in the bright green dino-harness kicking and pouting like a three year old. You of course didn't think it was funny so you turned and sprinted past Lucy about to fight the tattooed spaniard as Lucy hauled you back

“Nooooo... we don't fight” your sister said sternly as she held the leash tightly digging her feet into the grass so you couldn't pull her along again

“She's laughing” you said accusing and even Lucy saw that your patience’s wearing thin

“Let her Bubs... come on... I even got you some coffee and ice cream” your sister tried to lure you away as Mapí stupidly opened her mouth

“You wearing a kiddie-leash” the spaniard laughed loudly as Ingrid stepped in looking at Lucy

“Where did you find that? That is a great idea!!” the Norwegian asked interested

“Bronzo? Bought it back in Lyon when missy here decided to go on a stroll while I was... occupied and I had to pick her up hours later at a police station” your sister grinned as she playfully tugged on the leash

“You weren’t “occupied” you were shoving your tongue down Keiras throat!!!” you exclaimed aggregated

“I think my life would benefit from something like this as well” Ingrid mused her eyes sparkling

“Why would we need something like this, mi amor?” Mapí now asked confused

Ingrid just raised an eyebrow expectantly at her girlfriend waiting for her to catch on – and finally she did

“NO.... I don’t need something like this... I’m no hija” the tattooed spaniard exclaimed annoyed looking at you pointingly as she referred to you as a child

“You sure sound like one at the moment...” the Norwegian grinned as Mapí pouted and crossed her arms over her chest before sticking out her tongue to you

You tried to get to her again as Alexia now stepped in and stopped you

“cálmate” the blonde spaniard said calmly and the usage of spanish got you out of your head

“Huh?” you asked as you looked at her confused

“cálmate” Alexia repeated softly

“Cellmate?” you asked even more confused “makes no sense dude”

“It means “Calm down” in spanish” the blonde answered her voice calm and low

“Ha... so calm mate is making sense” you said but weirdly you felt much more calm

“It kinda does, doesn't it” the Capitan still kept her voice calm as she grabbed your waist manoeuvring you to the side line without breaking eye contact as she feared you would jump on Mapí and kill her.

Everyone watched the interaction stunned as you just let Alexia carefully move you away from the team. Even Lucy and Keira couldn't believe it since it was normally a fight for hours till you calmed down.

“Shit Capi is good” Lucy mumbled loosening the leash so you wouldn't feel the pressure and would snap again

“Shut up before you shift her focus and we have another fight on our hands” Keira shushed her ex girlfriend warningly

Alexia manoeuvred you into a shady corner the leash now dragging behind you since Lucy had to let go of it to not disturb the little moment you have with her Capitan.

“Are you gonna be good and stay here or do I have to tie this leash to one of the posts?” Alexia asked you quietly but still firmly

“Not gonna run” you mumbled kinda ashamed and embarrassed being strapped into a kiddie-harness right in front of (yet again) world class players “So embarrassing”

“No need to be embarrassed Cariño... we just want you save” the blonde said quietly keeping this interaction as private as possible “And it makes Lucia feel so much better knowing you're save”

“She could just have...” you started but couldn't come up with a reasonable solution

“It's the best solution for now... and after training I'll let you chase Mapí for making fun of you, okay.. now please stay here – I give you the... depth of doubt and won't tie this leash up but if you disappoint me I won't hesitate to do so” Alexia said softly but it was a fair warning to you

“Benefit...” you mumbled not meeting her eyes “It's benefit of the doubt... but thank you”

“If you need something just yell or tell one of the staff members okay?” the blonde smiled warmly at you

“Is there coffee around?” you asked hopefully as the blonde started laughing signalling to one of the staff to come over. She quickly spoke to the young man in spanish and he jogged off back into the building

“Cortado is on the way” the Capitan winked “you remember “thank you” in spanish?”

“Moohtschas grazia or something like that” you said after a second of thinking and you could see Alexia visibly flinch at your butchering her mother tongue

“You have to speak softer, Cariño... spanish is a soft language – not harsh... try again... muchas gracias” the blonde encouraged you to try again

“That's what I said... Moohtschas grazias” you said confused

“You are to hard on the “s”... it's “s” like … sunshine... not “z” like... what's this white and black horse?” she tried to remember

“Zebra” you helped her out

“Sí... Zebra... again... muchas...” Alexia spoke slowly empathizing the “s”

“muchas” you tried to copy her pronunciation

“gracias” the blonde said slowly again

“gracias” you followed

“Bíen... muchas gracias” Alexia smiled proudly at you “Now be good and stay here” she said as she pressed a light kiss to your forehead and left you standing there rooted in place.

The only people who were allowed to give forehead kisses were Lucy, Keira, Sarina and Georgia. Alexia wasn't allowed and you were very careful when it came to physical contact. Keira of course kept an eye on you through warm ups and saw the interaction with Alexia. As soon as the blonde spaniard leant down to press a small kiss to your forehead Keira already moved towards you

“It's okay Bitsy... it's how the spanish are, okay... she doesn't mean any harm” Keira spoke calmly since she knew what physical contact – at least not predicted one – did to you.

“It's just the way they are around here, okay... they're very touchy feely... no need to freak out Bitsy okay” the blonde englishwoman kept talking until you looked at her

“She... she kissed me” you stuttered out

“I saw... but she doesn't mean any harm – it's really how they are here” Keira reassured you

“I... didn't like it... she didn't say anything beforehand” you said and the blonde could see how you were fighting an internal battle

“She doesn't know... no one knows you don't like contact like that” the blonde stayed calm through your conversation

“Why did she do that?” you asked confused

“She wanted to show you how good you did” Keira once again reassured you

“Ice cream would have done the job” you mumbled which caused the blonde to burst out laughing

“I know... but I can see some coffee coming this way... I bet it has your name on it” Keira smiled as she stroke through your hair and turned around to leave you to re-join training.

“muchas gracias” you said as the young man who grinned widely as he answered “De Nada”

You sat down on the ground sipping on your coffee watching the training going on as they switched from passing drills to 5 a side. You remembered these drills like the back of your hand and you already knew who would pass to whom and who would assist to who to get the ball into the back of the net. The drills they were playing were so predictable that you groaned internally. Just happens to not be internally – you groaned so loudly that even Jona turned around looking at you as if he tried to figure out if you're hurt again. He signalled Lucy and spoke to her quietly as her eyes snapped towards you before she came jogging over

“What's wrong Bubs... Jona said you might have hurt yourself he said you groaned quite loudly” your sister asked worried

“M not hurt... but this is so boring and your playing is so predictable...” you rolled your eyes

“What do you mean?” Lucy asked confused

“Okay wait...” you waited until the whistle blew again “Ingrid will pass it to Ona, Mapí tries to intercept but her footing is wrong so she won't get there in time. Ona will pass it as a high ball to that brown haired one who will TRY to get it down the middle with as a half-volley but Alexia stands to close so brown hair only gets the ball to bounce of Alexias hip... she will pass the ball to the right to flawless and flawless will cross it back into the middle to the blonde norwegian... who will make it look like she's going in for a header but she'll let the ball cross to the Jamaican spaniard who's already waiting at the back post... oh yeah... and Kei was open in the middle the whole time” you said and it happened exactly like you said just that you said it about 10 seconds before it all happened

“What the...” your sister listened to you as you predicted the whole tactic move before it even got played out now looking at you shocked

“Told you.. predictable” you shrugged your shoulders as Lucy waved Jona over to her speaking to him in spanish as now HIS eyes snapped towards you.

“Mind if we try something Bubs?” Lucy asked you smiling slightly

“I'm NOT trying your protein shakes again” you exclaimed

“No... I just want to show Jona something” she laughed as she nodded to her trainer.

Jona yelled something in spanish and the teams mixed up before he looked at you expectantly

“Tell me what's going to happen now, Bubs... I'll translate for him” Lucy encouraged you as you scanned the field and who the players were positioned

After a few minutes you looked at your sister “Team Yellow is going to score first... they have a technical midfield and even if Team Red has the better defence, they will concentrate on the forwards instead of the midfield and either Kei or tweedledee will score – team reds defence will probably only watch tweedledumb and Jamaican spaniard and forget about the technical finesse these two midfielders have... Alexia will realize it first but it will be to late” you shrugged your sister as she spoke lowly to her trainer who then turned around to blow the whistle.

Again you watched bored as the game rolled out just as you said – it was Keira who had the finishing touch on the ball to hit the back of the net. Jona turned around to you looking like he saw a ghost

“How did you know this?” Lucy asked you after Jona talked to her for a minute

“Predictable” you felt like a broken record “You guys focus too much on the forwards... you have an amazing midfield but you only go for the forwards... it’s a wonder you’re opponents haven’t figured it out already”

Lucy again translated what you said to her trainer who couldn't stop to look at you with a shocked face

“He wants you” your sister grinned

“Yeah no... I don't dingdongs... sorry” you waved off before yelling over to the field “Keira... rotate your hip more when you go for that high ball... and lock your ankle... you look like a fucking penguin trying to walk on ice”

“He wants you in his training staff you horny bitch” Lucy bit out

“Yeah... he can get in line” you mumbled watching Keira closely as she tried to follow through with what you just said

“What was that?” your sister asked confused

“KEIRA for god sakes... LOCK THIS BLOODY ANKLE... you locked it around my sisters waist enough times that I know you're able to do so!!!” you yelled again not happy with the outcome of your “pointers”

“Dear heavens” Lucy groaned as half the team looked at her while the other half looks at Keira “No more caffeine for you”

“It's not the caffeine that's the problem here...” you mumbled watching Keira step up to the ball again

“Then what is?” Lucy asked annoyed

“You REALLY want the answer to this question?” you raised an eyebrow at her

“On second thought...” your sister interrupted quickly

“Yep.. thought so...” you grinned fake “BETTER KEI!! Good job” you yelled out as the ball was nearly perfect

“Thanks Bitsy” the blonde yelled back smiling

“Always” you shouted before sitting down again

“What did you mean when you said Jona can get in line?” Lucy asked bringing the former topic back up

“You really think he's the first trainer that offered me a job??” you looked at her in disbelieve

“I... can't follow you” your sister said getting more and more confused

“The first one who offered was Sarina after the Euros... you think it was an accident to bring Tooney and Less in just after halftime? Second one was Alex Straus, third one was Emma, fourth one was Jonas, fifth was Gareth and on place no. 6 now the spanish guy... so yeah... he can get in line” you said seriously as you looked your sister straight in the eye

“I had no idea” Lucy said slowly compensating the information

“Yeah... it's not like I make a big deal out of it” you shrugged but Lucy knew you wanted to say something else

“You can always talk to me, Bubs” she said knowing you would need to hear it again and again and again

“Yeah... I know” you sighed

“Good... I'm going back to training okay... we have about 30 minutes left then we can go for ice cream...” she smiled softly at you before turning around leaving

“Hey Luce?” you shouted after her

“Yeah?”

“Can I have your phone please... mines dead again and I'm bored... you have games on your phone right?” you asked pouting a little for good measure

“Sure... pin is your birthday” your sister went over to her bag quickly and tossed you her phone

“Love you” you shouted after her.

Just as you wanted to start playing candy crush it started to ring. Caller was “Lionesses”. So you figured you could answer the phone.

“Lucy Bronzes phone... you're speaking with the better looking and younger version” you answered the call

There was a beat of silence before the other person started to speak

“Y/n??” you heard a confuses voice

“Hi Mama Rina” you said happily noticing Sarinas voice immediately

“I thought I called Lucy” the Dutch was majorly confused

“You did... I'm currently at the Camp Nope watching her train and I got bored so I got her phone to play candy crush” you explained as the smile never left your face.

“Oooooh okay... think she can make it to Camp next week?” Sarina asked and you could her smile through the phone

“Wait... I'll ask her...” you said before covering the phone with your hand “LUUUCCYYYY!!!! SARINA WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU ARE FREE NEXT WEEK FOR CAMP!!!” you yelled of the top of your lungs

“WHAT?” your sister asked confused

“NATIONALCAMP NEXT WEEK!! YES? NO?” you yelled again

“YES OF COURSE!!!” Lucy yelled already on her way over again

“She said yes... Keira is here too” you got back to the call

“Would you mind, Liefje?” Sarina asked you already pulling the phone away from her ear knowing you're going to start yelling in a second

“KEIRA??? NATIONALCAMP – YES OR NO?!” you yelled to the blonde englishwoman

“YES” Keira just yelled back not bothering asking why you asked her

“Kei said yes too...” you repeated the answer to the womans national coach

“Thank you, snoepje... I'll see you all in a week then” the Dutch smiled and ended the call

“Why are you on the phone with Sarina?” your sister asked

“She called...” you shrugged your shoulders “Flights will be send per email as usual”

“She called... okay...” Lucy said dumb folded and left again

Just as training was about to end and you roamed the side line a little bit – always under the watchful eye of Alexia, Lucy and Keira – Mapí tried to do a midfield shot on goal. Of course she booted the ball without any precision and the ball ended up in your direction

“Y/N!! WATCH OUT!” Keira yelled as she saw the ball rocketing towards you.

You lifted your head just in time to recognise the ball but you didn't have time to THINK what you would do. Your body reacted out of reflex and muscle memory. You stopped the ball perfectly with your chest before you volleyed it down the field with your right food and your precision was so on point that the ball came in perfect for Keira who stopped the ball with her foot mid air to turn with it and just tipped it into the open goal. Everyone on the pitch looked at you shocked and even you were shocked about what happened. Since you got your diagnosis with your third ACL you swore to yourself to never touch a ball again – and yet here you were assisting a “goal” for Keira and it was all Mapís fault. No one dared to move as they kept staring at you – and suddenly it clicked in your head. You looked at Lucy. You looked at Keira.

“Bubs no... it's okay... you're okay” Lucy tried to approach you slowly as she spoke softly seeing in your eyes exactly what your next move would be.

Oh how right she was – the second it really sunk in what just happened you bolted. You jumped over the barrier running as fast as you could. OF COURSE you forgot about the dino-harness. You just entered the tunnel as you got hauled backwards with such a force that you lost your footing and crashed into the ground. You just laid there as you tried to breath but your breathing became more hectic and rapid. Your sisters face appeared next to you only seconds later pulling you upon into a sitting position as she shuffled in behind you pressing your body back into hers as you tried to fight her grip

“It's okay Bubs... nothing happened... you're okay..” Lucy reassured you over and over again as you keep struggling in her arms trying to get free

“You need to breath for me Bubs... come one... deep breaths” your sister spoke softly ignoring the fact that you already hit her twice in the rips as she sat with you on the ground in the tunnel.

Suddenly Lucy heard fast approaching footsteps and the next second a panic stroked Mapí dropped to her knees in front of the two of you.

“Neña... Neña I'm so sorry... I didn't mean too... please” the spaniard begged you as she took your face in her hands seeing you so majorly distressed brought her to the verge of tears

You jerked back from her touch successfully head butting Lucy in the face who groaned painfully and felt hot liquid shooting out of her nose right into you hair as you kept your face away from Mapí. Your sister tightened the grip around you body basically switching to koala hug you from behind as tight as possible as you kept throwing your weight around

“Maps please... I know you're sorry and I know it wasn't on purpose but I need you to leave us alone right now” Lucy said through gritted teeth not because she was angry she just felt her strength leaving her arms and she knew the second she would let go you'd be gone and probably gone for days.

“I just want her to know how sorry I am... I really didn't mean to... Keira said I opened the box of Pandora” the tattooed spaniard said and Lucy heard the desperation in her voice

“I know Maps... I know it wasn’t intentional... and I promise you everything will be okay again – it's not the first time I'm going through this with her and she will calm down eventually... we just need space” your sister answered – even tho her voice got quite nasally – calmly to not set the spaniard off even more.

She could see how Mapí beat herself up but she was oh so thankful when she heard another pair of footsteps approaching and seconds later Mapí got hurled to her feet and dragged away by her girlfriend. As soon as the spaniard was gone from your vision you calmed down significantly reducing to a whimpering mess in your sisters arms

“I know Bubs... it's still too much for you and I know you need to work through it in your own time...” Lucy spoke quietly into your hair as she started to rock the both of you back and forth.

Lucy loosened her grip around you slightly to see your reaction but not too much if you'd try to bolt. Thankfully you exhausted yourself to the point where you just sack against her trying to find as much comfort in her touch as possible. You stayed like this for another 10 minutes with your sister mumbling sweet nothings into your hair before Lucy heard a low whistle coming from the tunnel entrance. As she looked up she saw Keira poking her head around the corner an eyebrow raised in question. The blonde knew from past experiences that you would get send right into another panic attack if there was anyone else except for Lucy around you. Lucy looked down on your hunched form back up at Kei and nodded. Keira approached the two of you carefully always ready to stop or even retreat if you showed any sign of discomfort

“That was a bad one” the blonde whispered as she slid down next to the two of you.

“I'm so thankful for that stupid leash... we wouldn't have found her for at least days Kei... if not weeks” Lucy whispered back as she adjusted your hold on you pulling you closer to her chest

“I know... but Mapí didn't mean too...” Keira said as she kept her voice low

“I know... I'm not blaming her or anyone... it was a stupid coincidence” your sister answered her eyes never leaving you

“She just broke down in the locker room... she's beating herself up really bad for that” the blonde whispered

“Ingrid with her?” Lucy asked alarmed not wanting Mapí to fall down into a mental hole as well – one mental breakdown was enough for one day.

“Course... Alexia as well... but she needs to hear it from y/n... it's funny isn't it? They know her for a few days but I bet my yearly salary that every single woman in that room would jump in front of a truck for her” Keira said and a low chuckle left her throat

“It's the Bronze charm... you fell for it too... twice actually” your sister smiled slightly

“You wish... you figured out already that G is a cover... you think I was after you?” the blonde teased back

“Keira Fae...” Lucy faked gasped shocked “... are you implying you were after my Sister the whole time?”

Keira just grinned enjoying the playful banter that just shows what good of a relationship Lucy and her were still having. A purely friendly relationship but still up for banter.

As you registered more of your surroundings you noticed that at one point Keira must have entered the scene and you blindly patted your hand towards her hoping she'd understood. And of course she did – she took your hand into hers without and comment making sure to keep a good hold of it.

“It's okay Bitsy... we're here” the blonde whispered calmly

You just sunk deeper into your sisters arms pressing your face into the crook of her neck feeling utterly exhausted

“You should get your nose checked out” Keira said referring to the dried blood on Lucys face

“Later... not important right now” your sister mumbled squeezing you tighter to her chest

“M sorry Luce” you mumbled against her neck

“S okay Bubs... you just got scared” Lucy mumbled back pressing a kiss to your forehead

“M sorry to Mapí too... probly scared her” you half-slurred as your body felt heavy your mind exhausted

“Don't worry about it... you can talk to her tomorrow on the phone, okay?” your sister reassured you softly

“Want to pologize n person” you said as your closed again

“Okay... but tomorrow... you okay moving to the locker room?” Lucy asked carefully

“Don't want to see anyone” you shook your head

“I'll clear it out” Keira said as she stood up “Give me five minutes”

After five minutes Keira came back around the corner nodding. Lucy tried to stand up but with you in her lap and sitting on the hard ground for nearly an hour she wasn't able too. Your hand clutched her shirt tightly fearing she would disappear once you'd let go

“Come here Bitsy... the old woman needs help to stand up” Keira said her voice teasing as she pulled you off your sister into her arms.

You were basically dead weight at this point only be held up by the blondes strength. As soon as Lucy stood up (with a loud groan) she lifted you bridal style and started to walk towards the locker room where Alexia waited outside the door. The blonde spaniards eyes grew wide in shock as she saw Lucys face but recovered quickly as she just opened the door to the mostly empty locker room in silence letting your sister carry you inside before closing the door behind you. Inside Ona waited with a water bottle offering it to you as Lucy placed you in a corner on the bench letting you lean against the cool wall.

“I'm just gonna jump the shower quickly Bubs, okay... is it okay if Ona has an eye on you or do you want her to leave” Lucy spoke softly knowing from past experience that you couldn't deal with loud noises in that state

“S okay...” you mumbled taking a small sip of the water

“Okay” your sister sighed relieved “I'll be back in a flash okay Bubs”

You just nodded sipping slowly on your water while Ona retreated to the other side of the room not wanting to invade your space or scare you. You were pretty impressed she knew what you needed – then again Keira probably gave her a run down. The all to familiar feeling of loneliness spread in your chest again and you just grunted hoping Ona would understand your silent request. She wasn't Keira so you had to make yourself known a second time – this time with a whine. Ona noticed you were slightly in distress but didn't knew how to react. Keira told her to be there but not too close. But after you whined out she kicked all plans out the window approaching you carefully sitting down two cubical away from you

“You need anything, Bebita?” the blonde freckled spaniard asked quietly

“Hug” you whined out

“Ven aquí entonces” Ona mumbled out and to both of your surprise you basically threw yourself into her arms.

That's how Lucy found you 10 Minutes later – you fast asleep in Onas arms who looked like she was hardly breathing not wanting to scare you.

“Welcome to the family” Lucy smiled as she passed you seeing how content you apparently felt in her girlfriends arms

“I didn't to anything I swear... she asked for a hug then threw herself at me and seconds later she was out like a light” the spaniard whispered her voice slightly panicked not wanting to set you off.

“Don't worry... she won't wake up...” Lucy waved off speaking normal volume “I know you didn't started it... but you have no idea what this means... you are basically now her sister too... she accepts no one other than Keira or me to touch her in that state... and here we are with her fast asleep in your arms... you made it Babe”

“Is this her way of telling me she's okay with me dating you?” Ona smiled

“It's more than that... she's telling you that she trusts you” your sister said as she put a new shirt on “You know if a physio is still around? Need my nose checked out – don't think it's broken but better save than sorry”

“Marc should still be around...” the spaniard answered “What's with her”

“Hope you're comfortable... I'll be back quickly” Lucy grinned widely before slipping out of the door before her girlfriend could protest

Outside she was met with Keira and Alexia both leaning against the opposite wall

“Wow... extra security detail... she's asleep – no need for bodyguards” your sister joked as she laid eyes on her two teammates

“How is she?” Keira asked cutting straight to the point

“Asleep... Ona seems to meet her standards when it comes to sleepability” Lucy smiled

“Good... keep me updated... and if you need anything” the blonde started already grabbing her things knowing there's nothing for her to do anymore

“I'll text you... thanks Kei... it really meant a lot... also means... thank you” your sister said honestly

“Always Luce... always... whatever you need... or whatever she needs” Keira smiled back warmly

“Kay... see you tomorrow Kei” Lucy hugged her ex girlfriend and pressed a soft kiss to her temple

“And what can I do for you Capi?” your sister asked expectantly after she turned around

“Let's take a walk?” the blonde spaniard asked

“I need to see Marc anyway...” Lucy shrugged her shoulders

“What happened?” Alexia asked straight away

“Panic attack” your sister answered as the two women walked down the hallway

“But why... nothing happened” the blonde asked confused

“For us it was nothing... for her it opened up old deep wounds” Lucy answered “I'm about 95% sure it was the first time she touched a ball in over three years. You see... you just went through an ACL tear and rehab yourself... you know what it takes and how it feels... now imagine being 13 and went through it twice already and you AGAIN tore your ACL... I still can remember the look she had on her face when I told her what the diagnosis was... she was just stoic... for weeks she didn't talk just basics... she hardly ate – just what Keira and I basically forced down her throat and there were a lot of panic attacks and nightmares... at some point she got better again – but she never worked it out... and I'm still waiting for the day when she finally breaks... that earlier was just a panic attack about touching a ball again”

Alexia listened carefully before looking at Lucy with a sorrow face

“No...” your sister immediately said sternly “We don't pity her of feel sorry for her... we're proud of her...”

“She didn't deserve that... that ball was PERFECT Lucia...” the blonde spaniard said and her voice was full of hurt

“I know... you haven't seen her play... how she ran circles around Jill Scott or Ellen White out dribbling them with such ease.. how she kicked a Gatorade bottle off the crossbar – from the other box just for fun... how she spend HOURS on the side line when I had training just playing keep ups... believe me Alexia when I say... I KNOW” Lucy answered and for a second Alexia saw just how hurt Lucy was for you “But she fought... three times she fought back... doc said she'd probably will have a limp all live – do you see her limping? No... because she fought... so no, we don't pity her... we're so SO proud of her”

“She is remarkable, just like her biggest Idol....” Alexia smiled but it had a sad nuance

“I wish I was half as Tough as she is” your sister smiled back understanding her Capitan immediately.

“Just keep being there for her Lucia... she doesn't need anything more from you...” the blonde squeezed Lucys shoulder lightly “And now get that nose checked... you looked... not very appealing”

“I looked like shit... but thanks Capi... see you tomorrow” your sister smiled as she went inside to the physio who told her a few proddings later that her nose was in fact fine

“Hey... I'm back” Lucy said lowly finding you and Ona in the same position she left you in

“Hola... you okay?” Ona asked smiling slightly as you drooled on her shirt your head laying on her shoulder

“Nothing broken... just bruised.... home?” your sister asked as she already packed up hers and Onas stuff

“You really want to move her? She's sleeping so peacefully” the blonde asked concerned looking down on you.

“You want to stay here all night?” Lucy asked back raising an eyebrow

“Let's get her home” Ona said after a second

“Yep thought so... You bags I her?” your sister asked smiling

“I bag and keys...” the blonde grinned “... you know since she's around I'm driving your car more than you do... I like it... she can stay” the blonde winked

“You wish...” Lucy huffed as she pulled you into her arms to carry you to the car “Let's go home Bubs” she whispered and smiled as you sighed out pressing your face against her neck.

[nastasya--filippovna]

WHO IS CROWLEY AFTER THE FALL?

so there is a LOT of debate over who Crowley was before The Fall. I have seen a lot of headcanons going around the place saying he was Raphael or Kokabiel or Baraqiel.

I mean this is the Exhibit A for saying that Crowley is Baraqiel. I think NOT.

Because this is a handbook written by demons for demons. The title is literally (if my memory serves me right) a guide to angelic beings that walk the earth. SO Crowley is not That..

Other than the red hair thing, no other physical characteristic matches. This Baraqiel guy sounds like an absolute gremlin. grisly slug, occasionally damp. NOT CROWLEY. I mean she's the most dashing thing around.

NO. #3 It says CROWLEY one line above the name Baraqiel. If Crowley is Baraqiel then why would his demon name appear right under that?????

And I think somewhere Neil Gaiman refuted this theory (I'm not really sure but I think so plz don't come at me with pitchforks if I got it wrong). So.......

But this is all beside the point. What I'm trying to say is that too much has been said about who Crowley was before he fell. There is very little, if not none, that has been said about who he was After.

Some say that he's an insignificant demon or some loser guy in Hell or whatever the equivalent of an angel principality deputy on Earth is.

I BEG TO DIFFER.

He is Important. Just look at the kind of assignments he's given. Original Sin, Major Historical Temptations and Evil Acts, Delivering the Antichrist and bringing about Armageddidn't.

But who is he exactly??????????

So canonically we're never told what Crowley's rank in Hell is. But there are more that enough hints for us to figure that out for ourselves.

But where does one place him when the hierarchy is so complex and varying across different historical and theological sources.

Such as here:

I have been thinking about this and I have two current theories

Crowley is Astaroth

Crowley is The Leviathan

I'll discuss only one in this post. I'll save the other for the next post.

Now book!Omens clearly tells us that Crowley or Crawley is not his real demonic name. For those who haven't read the book this happens when Hastur Lavista and Ligur come to hand over the antichrist to Crowley in the churchyard and as he's about to sign his name as "Crowley" they tell him to sign his real demonic name.

Are you with me?!!!!!

NANNY ASHTORETH!

Why did she use this particular name for her nanny disguise. What if...... what if this IS her real demon name.

A lot of my real life friends are annoyed beyond measure by my constant ranting about etymologies, origin and construction of discourse and epistemology, especially when it comes to presenting my thesis over how all Abrahamic religions and their symbology and iconography is, how do I put it, inspired from pagan religions that they expunged. I mean the concept of angles, the man shaped being with wings that is actually just a ball of fire or eyes or hale discs or sth is a pagan Persian concept.

Back to the matter at hand.

Ashtoreth, Astaroth, Astarte, Ishtar, are all the same name in different dialects and languages. All of these refer to a certain Babylonian goddess. When the People of God probably cleansed off all the infidels they decided to literally demonize their god and name a demon after her. In Milton's Paradise Lost Astaroth is one of the three princes or Grand Dukes of Hell alongside Beelz and Lucifer. If this theory might be true Crowley is a Prince/Grand Duke of Hell.

Now this gets even more interesting. Ashtoreth, Astarte, whatever you may, is a goddess of fertility and is associated with childcare. I mean at this point I just stopped to marvel at the attention to detail that Mr. Gaiman's work hold, the smallest hidden meanings in the storytelling.

Another thing. The Babylonians built these temples called ziggurats to worship Astarte and they looked something like this

and this

they were also known as sky temples.

Because Astaroth was first and foremost the goddess of stars and the Babylonians were stargazers and the temples were constructed as a stairway to heaven to take them closer to the stars and functioned as an observatory at times.

I'm just imagining Crowley turning up in ancient Babylon and with her other-worldly looks, knowledge of the stars and compassion for children they just..... started to worship her.

Before the Christians came and declared them pagans and the rest is history.

Continued in next post for the second theory......

[sweet-villain]

Trying To Make It Make Sense~ B.H

Anonymous asked:

I'm so happy to see you back! I hope things are well :) I do have a request if you are taking then but if not that's totally ok!

My idea was if the reader was dating billy and is friends with Eddie and the whole gang? Maybe just some fluff of them hanging out as a group but billy makes it known he's with the reader through pda and being cuties with her

Note : I don't really see Billy being really an affectionate type around people.

You stared down at your lap and fidget with your fingers as you felt eyes on you.

It felt like the most uncomfortable silence as your friends stare in disbelief in what they were seeing. It wasn’t anything that bad, you thought.

To them, this was a first and a shocker to them all. You had a boyfriend.

His name was Billy Hargrove. The same Billy Hargrove that picked on Steve.

The same Billy Hargrove that called, his step sister Max, shit bird. The very same on that drove the loud Camara. 

  An arm wraps around your shoulder as someone pulls you into them, its familiar arm fills you with comfort. It’s Billy.

He chews the gum in his mouth as he stares down back at Eddie, Dustin, Steve, Max and the rest like they were challenging him. 

“ Is this a joke? Have you done something to her, Hargrove because I swear-” Eddie gets off by you as your head shot up and you shake your head. 

“ Eddie, stop” you stood up from your spot that you were sitting at to stop Eddie who looked like he was ready to throw hands if he needed to. He had his fist by his side as his jaw clenched tight. 

“ I don’t understand why you were with him. I mean, come out. Out of every guy in Hawkins. You pick him” Steve throws his hands up as he shakes his head in disbelief.

He was more shocked that he wasn’t your first choice in this matter. The two of you were close and had moments where the two of you would flirt. 

Steve didn't like this at all.

Billy smirked as he eyed Steve. Steve kept muttering to himself with his hands folded across his chest. 

Max had a feeling the two of you would get together since you kept coming over to tell “ I’m just tutoring Billy. The teacher asked me to, and I was happy to do it.” You had to use that to be around Billy in his room to get past Neil.

He wasn’t too happy about having a girl in Billy’s room. 

The door was to be opened and one day Neil walked by to see the two of you closer than he liked and the studying had to be done in the kitchen.

Susan had turned a liking to you and she would watch some softness come out in Billy when you were around. She didn’t dare to tell Neil. 

Max saw it too. 

“ Did you know anything about this?” Dustin asked, as he looked towards Max for answers. Max simply had a smile on her face as she shrugged. 

“ You two really think they are together?” Steve suddenly asked, coming out of his pouty face and uncrossed his arms as he continued to stare down at Billy with a glare on his face.

“ These two must be playing some game.” 

“ Games are for kids, Harrington. Seems like that more your turf” Billy says. 

Inside Billy was kinda nervous being surrounded by your friends who were staring like they were about to run after him with pitchforks. 

“ Who did you make a bet with, hm?” The question catches you off guard and everyone turns to stare at Eddie who for one second doesn’t believe you are going out with Billy Hargrove.

There was no way. 

“ Did Carver put you up to this?” Eddie continued to ask. “ The two of you seem to chatter like little old ladies from the last time I saw you two.” 

“ What is your business that I talk to my friends about, Munson?” Billy asked.

“ Friends” Steve, snorted. 

Billy turns to Steve hearing him snicker. 

“ You have something to say, Harrington?” Steve shot up from his seat as he put his hands on his hips as he stared down at Billy. “ Why her?” Steve asks. 

Billy’s face changes at the question and Robin swore for a moment she saw it.

There was a wall breaking that he had put up a front like he always does. Her eyes widened a bit as she caught it. She looked around the room to see if anyone else caught it.

No one did as they continued to look at Billy. She felt proud of herself and mentally gave herself a pat on her head.

You glanced up at your boyfriend who still has his arms around you. He felt you staring at the side of his head and turned his head to glance down at you.

His blue eyes met your own and they were shining. 

“ Is that a smile?” Dustin asked. Max swatted his arm. “ Ow! That hurt, no need to get abusive. Jeesus.” 

She only did it because she saw Billy was having a moment as he looked down at you. She never saw him like this. Happy. 

“ Because she makes me feel like I’m not alone, that finally I belong” what Billy really wanted to say was that he loves you but he wasn’t about to say it in front of your friends knowing they were going to use that against him. 

You melted at his words knowing he meant that you made him feel safe. You made him feel wanted. That he mattered. To you. That was enough for him. 

The girls “ awed” at his words and happily sighed seeing the way Billy looked at you and the way you looked at him. 

Your hand came up to cup his cheek, immediately he leaned into your touch feeling it would be a while since you’ll touch him again.

Some of his hair falls into his eyes while he leans in and they sparkle. 

“ Gross” and “ ew” and “ I’m going to throw up” are what interrupted the moment between the two of you. Billy forgot for a moment that other people were in the room with him and you.

Immediately a scold appeared on his face as he turned to your friends. Their eyes widened at his fast reaction and they all gulped. 

“ If any of you use the words I said leave your mouth and I hear you babbling, I will not hesitate to do something about it. Is that clear?” Billy asked with his fist by his sides. 

The gang didn’t get to answer him because your hand reached out to tug his jacket letting him know you wanted his attention. His eyes drop down where your hand is tugging his jacket and his fist unclenches.

“ Sit down, Billy. They won’t. I know them. Right, guys?” you turn to look at your friends. “ I’m really happy with him and I know you guys aren’t happy with me right now. But he cares about me, I care about him and that should be enough for you guys.” 

Billy sits back down as his hand lands on your leg as it rests there with your hand falling on top of him. The sensation of warmth fills him and his heart races as he turns to look at you. The smile returns to his face. 

For the first time everyone is shocked and finds it strange how you softened Billy Hargrove. He was smiling right now crying out loud. 

“ Hargrove” Eddie calls out to Billy, catching his attention. “ I will not hesitate to break your bones or light your car on fire if you ever hurt her” he points his ring finger at Billy.

“ I don’t care if you're sorry or you're going to plead. You hurt her. I will hurt you.” 

Eddie has always been the most protective of you, you were like a little sister to him.

You were always coming over to bring him food, making sure he was fed and looking after him when he’s sick. You would check on Wayne too, make sure he had new clothes to wear too. You were family to the Munson’s. 

“ Eds” you called out to him. He turns his head to glance at you. 

“ Thank you for looking out for me, but I can handle it.” 

“ I’m never going to hurt her, '' Billy says. “ If I do, then shit bird can sell my car, '' he says with a grumble. His car means a lot to him and for him to say that means that he does really care about you. The gang is surprised once again. 

“ Don’t sell it, we can burn it” Mike says. Billy goes up to look like he was going to pounce on Mike but you hold him back, shaking your head. 

“ We’re serious Hargrove,” Steve says. “ You do anything to hurt her, in any way” he points to the gang, “ you better run. Because you are not coming back on your two legs” 

“ She means a lot to us” Nancy says “ she’s our best friend.” 

“ That we do anything for” Lucus says. 

Billy chuckles, “ You don’t scare me peepsqueaks” he looks between Dustin, Lucas and Mike. 

“ We’re serious Billy” Max says to him. “ Even if you're my step brother. You hurt her-” 

“ We hurt you” El finishes. “ But we're happy for you,” she adds as he looks around the group. “ Right?” The group grumbles underneath their breath. 

“ No, say it with me” El claps her hands as he points to you and Billy “ we are happy for them.” 

All you heard were a bunch of groans and “ yeah, yeah” and “ we don’t trust him still” and Robin said, “ he’s more of a dingus than Harrington is.” 

You loved your friends and wouldn’t change them for the world.

Sudden feeling of a peck on your cheek breaks your attention from looking at your friends but at your boyfriend who shrugs like he wasn’t the one who did it.

But he did. He wanted to show some sort of affection, but not too much because he isn’t like that around people. 

You knew he only did that to show that you really were his and he was serious about you to your friends.

Even though he did place his hands on your leg and had his arm around you. He got up the courage to kiss you on the cheek. 

You didn’t ask him to show this type of affection. He did it on his own and you can tell he was proud of himself as he glanced at his lap with his cheeks hinted red. 

“ Okay, there will be none of that around” Dustin says as he points between the two of you. 

“ There will be ground rules if he is going to be around us” Mike says. 

Max rolls her eyes, but she nods a little knowing what was coming. 

“ There will be no kissing,” Dustin says. 

“ No touching like” Mike looks down at himself looking around where. Robin hits him upside the head which he whines about as he rubs the back of his head, glaring at her. 

“ That wasn’t necessary,” he says.

“ Trust me, it was,” Steve says. 

“ But ease down on the public affection. If the two of you want to touch and make out, there is a home were two of you live in and a car which you drive in” Eddie says. 

“ Are you jealous, Munson?” Billy asked as he leaned a bit to inspect Eddie. Eddie scrunched up his nose and shook his head. He felt a shiver run down his spine. 

“ Jealous of what? You two? No way, Y/N is like a sister to me and that would be gross” 

In the middle of this, your hand interlaces with Billys and it doesn’t slide between your friends as the spot it. 

“ awe, they are holding hands' ' El gushes and stares at Mike, hitting his shoulder. “ Why do you not hold my hand anymore?” Mike rubs his shoulder as he looks away from El and looks around asking for help. 

The rest of the conversation between your friends, you block out because you happily stare at your boyfriend as he starts to talk with you friends.

You were hoping they would warm up to him. You squeezed Billy’s hand letting him know you're still there and not going to leave any time soon. 

Billy had the warmest feeling inside, he began to laugh with his friends and teased Steve. 

This felt like home.

[rist-ix]

The sparxshipping teasing from Iginio got me wondering.... if we ever did get canon sparxshipping explored, whether in a reboot or new adaptation, how would you like it for it to be done?

I'm gonna try to answer both of these in one post cause they overlap a little, but first of all thank you!

Buckle up fellas I'm bringing discourse.

This is gonna be a bit of an unpopular opinion I think, and it’s that I don’t want sparxshipping to be canon at all.

Feel free to get the pitchforks, but until then imma talk. I have villainships that I think not only add something to the overall plot, they kind of define it too. Reylo for examples, with its themes of redemption, masks and compassion, or Darklina and how important their relationship is to the war and Grisha oppression, or Lotor and Allura with its symbolism of breaking the cycle of abuse, making peace, reclaiming a heritage thought lost and so on.

To put it very briskly: an established Sparxshipping relationship adds nothing to the plot. It would have to be a plot of its own, and while there are tons of fascinating plot threads you could weave back into Domino, Bloom's family and the war before the Fall, it is simply, plainly, and rightfully so not the story Winx Club is telling.

Winx Club, at its core, is about the girls and their friendship. That is the show I love, and that is the show I am invested in. Fanfiction is a separate thing, I’ll get into that later. But canon, commercially produced and globally aired Winx Club is what we are talking about now. And the one defining truth of Winx Club is that it’s about the Winx. Their boyfriends are the side note, the Kens to their Barbies, to cement them as the cool popular teenagers younger kids are supposed to see them as. If Bloom and Valtor had a lasting serious relationship, Valtor would inevitably have to be shoved into that category as well, and that would ruin the entire appeal of him.

To boil it down even more: if sparxshipping were canon, either Winx Club would have to shift away from its intrinsic premise and formula, or Valtor would have to be diminished beyond recognition. So my longstanding opinion has always been: don’t make sparxshipping canon. Just don’t.

What I, personally, would do if I were ever to gain access to the mythical and likely overcrowded writing room at Rainbow SpA, is this:

Tease the fuck out of it.

Lean into their fucked up little hate-obsession. Every time they share the screen they have to be radiating unresolved sexual tension. Their chemistry has to be so off-the-charts it sparks a million fanfics before the season even ends. If there aren’t so many crappy amv's set to angsty Taylor swift songs it brings down the YouTube servers by midnight you have failed. Because canon is bound to certain limits, but fanfiction is NOT. The goal of any show should be to create something that will awaken an inescapable need to build on it, to continue where it left off, or to wonder but-what-if? To make people text incoherent keysmashes to their fandom buddies with shaky hands in the middle of the night and be unable to sleep until they’ve confirmed their buddy has seen it too.

I would want to see Bloom go fully I-have-lost-sight-of-everything-but-revenge until her friends manage to pull her back, I would want them to fight so vehemently the structures around them collapse and they don’t even notice. They should be in situations where they are UNDENIABLY going to die if they fight on and they still do it, they literally CANNOT stop, they don’t care to. To the point that everyone around them is seriously concerned and talking about their terrifying obsession with each other, more or less out in the open. And after a season full of epic fight scenes, high stake conflicts and frankly obscene tension between them, I would want Bloom to kill him.

Straight up.

Give her that moment of calm self assurance, at peace and perfectly in control, while Valtor tries to gaslight-gatekeep-girlboss his way out of this, contrasting the way her support network and genuine, unconditional friendships strengthen her while Valtor, who is always sabotaging everyone around him, is forced to confront his own powerlessness in the face of the power that created him. His manipulation attempts have nothing to latch on to. They have one last exchange where Valtor is visibly furious at her denial of him / his own failure — to really drive home that this is Bloom's triumph — but the last words they exchange are cordial. Maybe a comment at her growth, or a warning about his mothers, or another way to foreshadow future threats — if he couldn’t defeat her, no one should. He ends on a high note, but he does end, and it’s at Bloom's hands. She retakes the corrupted spark into the Flame she is guarding, and that is that.

And then, and this is important. He fucking haunts her for the entire next story arc. The next season, the next two seasons maybe, because she has learned a fuck ton of things from him and it is really, really difficult to move on knowing everything she does, knowing everything he implied or hinted at, or simply knowing so many really, really cruel ways to get her way now, which isn’t who she wants to be, but it would be easy, quick and effective for the greater good, right?

Boom, character conflict for the next season established, lots of potential for future flashbacks or visions, Valtor stays on his high horse of forever-the-juiciest-fucking-villain-of-the-franchise and the story can move on.

The End

Cue three decades of mind-blowing fanfiction. We all say Thank you Rainbow and cry ourselves to sleep thinking about what could have been.

[fantasies-fairytales-n-fics]

Thranduil and Josie Pt. 166- Mouse Trap

Summary: Dr. Legolas Greenleaf is in the house. An impaired Josie remembers and reveals important info. Bash and Charles enter Dorwinion city. Upsetting info comes to Charles' attention and then more comes to light as a group unites. Cat and mouse anyone?

*Chapter Warnings* language, angst, graphic depictions, mild violence, mentions of rape

Chapter characters: Josie, Legolas, Merlin, Bash, Charles, Delphine, Nun, Haldir, Rumil, Rahl

Chapter word count: 5,216

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist:

After an hour long session of your palm being stitched up by an elf who's only skills of proficiency were archery, swordsmanship and flinging himself from tree to tree, you were well under the influence of Dorwinion's wicked whiskey to kill the pain.

"I am finished my lady." Legolas exhaled in relief as he bandaged your hand, which you could have sworn he did not breathe the entire time.

"Now, Josie...do you want to tell me how this deep cut really occurred? This is not the markings of being cut by glass, which the healing water would have cured, but Lola told me it burned you."

"Oh sweet Leggy...you're too smart for your own britches...or should I say stitches??" you giggled with a snort, which brought Legolas' brow to an astounded arch.

A soft amused grin finally formed on his thin lips. "And you my lady, have had enough of the golden giggle juice."

His jestful remark had you snorting again. "And you're funny too."

"Well, there's nothing funny about this wound or finding you unconscious on the castle floor....or your spiteful words earlier this night."

"Well..." you frowned, pouting out your bottom lip. "That's all Stephy's fault..kind of...ok not really...it's the poison in my blood that his wicked twin put there by his beastly claws!"

Now Legolas' brow arched again as the other one furrowed. "Alright, maybe you should just rest for now and..."

"What? You do not believe me?? Tell me Leggo...did you or my Kingly King of all Kings know that Narcisse, well, actually Rahl, can turn onto a giant fucking cat?? Oh wait...BOTH of them can...one white as snow, one black as charcoal, but Stephy, he's the good witch and Rahl, he's the wicked witch of the west, only he's not a girl and definitely not green and ugly like her. Anywhooo, he freaking cut my hand when he shifted. I was standing too close."

"Josie...you have been seeing things that are not there. This happened tonight on the patio. You said Narcisse was there, but he was on the shoreline remember? And..I also found you talking to a wall."

"Ohhh, yes! There..there was a little girl...Rosie! I'm supposed to find her daddy. But noooo, that was not Narcisse, that was Rahlllll. He was a huuuuge raptor and flew down from the moon, morphing into a man wearing the devil's blood red robe with Stephane's face, minus the horns and pitchfork, and he walked right through me!! Come on Lego..las! I know what you and Thranduil can change into. The white hart. I saw you in Rivendell remember?? And I saw Thranduil in the forest only weeks ago, although that was just his ghost... so stop acting like it's impossible and that I am just drunk and delusional! And you yourself just said this cut did not happen on glass! Why do you think Mirkwood's water burns it?"

Legolas realized you were actually right as he sighed, and then his mind drifted to his father, knowing that was not a ghost that you saw whatsoever.

"I..I believe you. All things are possible with magic. As far as Narcisse, or this Rahl? I am not aware of it...but, possibly my father knew. What didn't he know?"

"That is true....but Rahl..he was brought back by Jareth. He's not even real. He's something Stephane's mind created long ago to protect himself from a terrible trauma inflicted by his father. Surely you knew him?? Didn't Thranduil trade with him as well when the Dorwinion King was alive?"

"Yes. He was quite wicked, just like the whiskey you have devoured."

"I fought Rahl tonight. Blade to blade. He was taking advantage of Claude. I saw her before I got to his chambers and she told me what he tried to do. You said that Lola saw Stephane kissing her, but that was not him Legolas."

"You fought Narcisse with a sword???"

"No! Rahl! but...I..I don't remember what happened after that...I woke up here...and...oh my god, my dream! There was a magic elf statue. It was Thranduil! and the bottom, it said...."

Legolas swiftly stood with gaping moonstones peering down at you.

"Gúl -o Aran Thranduil. Ech- a ithil sarn iest no i clair de lune." Legolas whispered.

You sat right up, also with gaping eyes as you too, whispered.

"Magic King Thranduil. Make a moonstone wish under the moonlight. Legolas?? You mean it is real???"

He slowly sat back down with a stiffened stance. "It is. My grandmother carved it and as she did so, her magic was carved into it. It was lost years ago during my grandfather's reign. You..you dreamt of this..where did you see it??"

"Peter's cabin. I...I was there again..and...I can't believe this. How could I have forgotten?? It..it was Christmas and Peter brought me this box of mostly junk, claiming he got the stuff at a thrift shop in Northern New Zealand. He said some gypsy like lady said it granted wishes and gave it to him for free, that the price was in the wishes. But then the asshole took it from me when I...oh my god, that came true!!"

"What came true??"

"I..I wished out loud in anger, right in front of Peter, for him to be devoured by a giant spider in the forest and that happened Legolas, in Mordor!! And then, he got angry and wished to come back from the dead and haunt me and...now he has by Jareth's doing. I just know he's out there! I saw him...a vision of him at my birthday party during a palm reading and he told me he was coming for me!!"

You began to hyperventilate as you sobbed and Legolas quickly pulled you into his arms.

"Never. Never will I let him harm you. Do not cry. Josie...I am sorry I was not here for your birthday. I am so sorry I left you. I will get you a proper gift someday soon."

You sniffled and hiccupped into hair, breathing in his calming tree leaf scent.

"No, I am the one who's sorry. I said horrible things to you tonight. You are the gift Legolas, wrapped beautifully with your giant big bow."

The Prince softly smiled at your double meaning as he tightened his embrace with closed eyes. "Happy birthday my lady."

"LEGOLAS!!" you shouted and pushed out of his arms, accidentally waking Leean.

"I know where the amethyst pendant is!!! I dreamt of it too."

"One of the six needed? Where is it?"

"Yes! At the cabin. I..it...it was Sarah's, hidden among some of her things I kept...but..I don't understand why she would have it? I...I've even dreamt of it before. Her mother, Jocelyn, told me to find Sarah and then put it on me and then I was sucked into some kind of portal. Leggy, we have to go there!"

You jumped out of bed and frantically began rummaging through your clothes to change as Legolas picked Leean up and tried to talk some sense into you.

"We cannot go there tonight or any night, for many reasons Josie. Most importantly, Harker is out there and the dead too. Also, that cabin would take days upon days of travel from where we are. We would be lucky to arrive before the solstice."

"Well we have to do something Legolas, especially while my mind is clear. I don't know what's happening to me with all these hallucinations and the way I have been acting. Look how I treated you and what I said about Lola...Lola? Where...where is she?? I need to speak to her about...something."

That something being about Rahl being her father.

"Out for a walk. I too...said some unpleasant, but warranted things to her."

"What??"

"Lola is of no matter at this time. You are. Your mind is not clear as you said. We must find a way to heal you, but first, you must sleep. We can discuss this further come the morning."

The morning that Legolas dreaded, for it was the deadline that his father had given him to begin the journey back to his halls with you and Leeanduil or Thranduil was going to come and reclaim you both himself, bringing his elven army with him that would incite a war. The Prince would have to decide the wiser option, for both scenarios could carry deadly consequences, the latter being of the higher risk and either would be a very heartbreaking outcome for you to see your King who wasn't your King at all. Should he just tell you the truth and let you decide? That was an immediate hard no for Legolas considering your state of mind.

"Oh god...Bash. Yes, I forgot...he told me there's a witch doctor in the city who can do so and I saw him leave tonight with Charles to go find her. Ok, let me think."

Still tipsy, you paced about as Leean quietly watched you from her brother's arms.

"If only Garrett were here. He could go and get it in only a few hours time...or even my crow..if I even knew where either of them were, but then again, Garrett is off with Kate somewhere probably getting it on. That jerk has my moonstone that I told him to hide. We need that now too. OR...I could try and summon the eagles!!!"

"Alright, slow down. The vampire Kate that my father beheaded?"

"Yep! I saw them, in the mirror, there in the trash. Garrett told me himself he had chosen to be with her again...but...it can't be true, it just can't be."

"Maybe it was another hallucination?" Legolas suggested as his eyes wandered to the trash to view the pulverized mirror.

"No. This happened before I was scratched. It...it must be real then. Why? Why would he do this to me?"

You turned to conceal your eyes that burned of tears over the vampire you secretly and deeply loved and then the room began to spin.

"I...I feel sick." you muttered and ran to the bathroom to rid of the wicked whiskey in your stomach.

Legolas laid his sister back down and kissed her tiny fingers, then he came to you, holding your hair back as your other beloved elves, Haldir and Thranduil, had done.

Once you were finished, you began to teeter from side to side.

"I've got you."

Legolas swooped you back up in his arms and carried you once more to tuck you in for the night and within seconds of Legolas patting your forehead again with the medicinal cloth, you were out.

As he then made his way to feed Leean, Legolas' ears twitched at the scratching and patting noise coming from the door. One of his white knives were swiftly drawn as he moved with great stealth towards the sound.

"Speak your identity!" he firmly commanded.

"Mrrrrow." sounded at the base of the door, drawing Legolas' astonished eyes downward with furrowed brows.

Upon swinging the door open, in strutted Merlin with his bushy tail straight in the air and greeted the elf with a single figure eight sway around and through his legs, then the purring Maine Coon of long lustrous black and gray fur, leaped upon the bed and curled up beside you.

Legolas offered the Kingly feline a soft grin as he closed and locked the door.

"Alright. I suppose you can stay...as if my approval is needed for that of an entitled cat."

Merlin's round cerulean eyes twinkled of magic, stunning the Prince where he stood and then the giant royal beauty lowered his lids to slits and went to sleep.

Bash and Charles disembarked the ferry to Dorwinion city while the small squad of warlock guards that tagged along for extra safety measures held back to not alarm the locals. To begin their search for the infamous lady witch doctor, they chose the nearest tavern for a brief rest and a much needed drink, not so much out of thirst on the bitterly cold winter's night created by the Elvenking's earthly wrath, but out of anxiety.

"Bash, I have been thinking on the way here. Is this really the only option? You know as well as anyone that black magic is not to be toyed with and Delphine is notorious for such acts. Look what happened to my mother and sister for tempting fate. Taking anything from a devil or a witch most always comes with a price. Can she even be trusted?" Charles asked, sipping his wicked ale as his nerves were now getting the better of him.

"Your mother was already evil and deserved her fate which was torture too kind if you ask me. Without the help of your father, this is the only known option and yes, I trust Delphine. This is what she does."

"But Josie is not evil. She is good and kind."

"She won't be for long if she is not cleansed of Rahl's venom. Any repercussions of the healing far outweighs what she will become....wicked like Rahl himself. Drink up, but carefully. We must keep our wits about us."

"So...Is it true?" the young warlock asked of his confused uncle after a moment of silence.

"Is what true?"

"The King of Mirkwood. He lives and caused the destruction this night?"

"No dear nephew. That was the Elvenking."

In that eerie moment of truth, a city guard approached the duo with discerning eyes.

"Sebastian Narcisse. What brings you and the young Prince to the city on a cold, dark and dangerous night? Surely it's not solely for our Lord's crafted ale that is quite plentiful in his kingdom. Is this in relation to the evening's earthly event?"

"It is one reason yes, to ensure our people are well and to assess the damage. Are there any wounded or fatalities?"

"No deaths reported, but there have been some minor injuries from shaken structures. Is all well at the castle? I would have expected Lord Narcisse to have accompanied you."

"My brother is tending to matters there, so we have come in his place. We are also looking for others. Have you happened to cross paths with Haldir of Lorien? Two men and a dwarf had come here as well in their own search for him."

"Ahh yes. The elven Marchwarden. I saw him not long ago on the docks with his brothers and the others you speak of, the Ranger, the Bowman and the dwarf. They were ready to depart when the violent rumble occurred. I am not sure of their whereabouts now, for the waters were too treacherous for the ferry to transport at the time."

"There is one other we seek. One all here know of."

Bash moved in closer and whispered to not be heard by others. "Delphine."

The man immediately stiffened up. "Why on earth would you seek the wicked??"

"She is not wicked, only perceived to be. There is one who desperately needs her help."

"A perception well deserved. Her help will be costly. You know this, for your brother does not permit black magic of any kind. It is considered a crime as you also know which is why she hides. I am sure you recall the village near here. The boy she healed of the black plague became blind and the farm animals fell ill with disease solely from her presence."

"His blindness was caused by the disease. The animals suffered from it too."

"Witches leave a trail of evil. Birds fall from the sky when they are near." the man argued as Bash recalled the pile of dead blackbirds on his terrace.

"Not all witches. Only wicked ones. I would not seek her if I believed her wicked. What happened to her was not her fault. Much more wicked this way comes. She is the least of anyone's worries. Now, do you know of her whereabouts?"

"Harker was indeed her fault. No one gives something to a warlock of evil without a price. It is my understanding that the witch is in God's hands now. From what we have been informed of here, Harker is in the area and has killed some of your men. He is no different from her. She probably assisted him."

"He is and has done as you heard. But as far as Delphine, you know not what you speak of. What she gave was not freely given and she would not aid him in any manner. I thank you for the information. We must be on our way now. Charles, come!"

Bash and Charles left and headed down the long winding docks that encased the colossal city that never sleeps, in hopes of finding Haldir and the others to bring them and the Marchwarden back to the castle, going against Narcisse's banishment of the elf. Bash knew they would be needed for the impending winter war and he knew you needed Haldir. He also had figured out where Delphine was.

"Bash...what did Delphine give Harker??" Charles soon asked with a curious brow.

As Bash continued his hefty strides, he glanced at Charles.

"Lola."

Charles halted his steps as Bash carried on around the corner.

"What?? Wait! Where are we going??"

"Guards!" Bash called to them as they stood at the boarding port. "Follow me."

"My lord. We were informed by the boatman that another ferry had taken Haldir and the others across the bay just before we arrived."

"Then we must hurry. Let's go!!"

"Bash!" Charles angrily shouted. "WHERE are we going??

"The nunnery." he huffed as his fast strides turned into a gallop.

Charles' brows scrunched in confusion over his crinkled nose.

"Church?? We are going to...church???"

"Please. No more. I beg of you. You said you would help me." Delphine pleaded as the elder prioress neared her with a glowing red hot iron bar from the fireplace.

"I am helping you child by ridding Satan of your soul."

The weakened, perspiring witch knelt on the dirt ground, her hands bound tightly behind her back by coarse roping that scoured her wrists like sandpaper, rendered helpless to fight back, for she had been stripped of her power by the previous iron branding of a cross upon her bare chest. It wouldn't have mattered what symbol was burned into her flesh. Iron was iron to a witch, whether good or bad, except for the immunity you had formerly acquired to the power draining magnet.

"You tricked me. I came to you for refuge of the evil one but it seems you are the real evil here."

"Hush your wicked lips now. This is the 7th marking. The final one. If you are not evil like you claim, you will be healed."

"I will be dead!! I cannot take anymore. Please!"

"Back away from her!!" Bash shouted as he kicked the door in with his guards following and immediately cut the feeble witch's ropes free.

"What are you doing?? She needs cleansed of the devil!"

"It is you that needs cleansed, you fool!" Bash snapped at the nun as he swooped up the debilitated Delphine in his arms and swiftly departed.

Once embarked on the ferry, Bash covered her with a wool blanket as she laid barely conscious upon a wooden bench.

"Bash, what good is she to Josie in this state??" Charles whispered.

"A long bath in the healing waters will aid her recovery and use of her power."

"Why does it not help Josie? You said it burns her wound?"

"It's like pouring water on hot grease when it reacts with Rahl's venom."

"Then let me ask you this. Once the Queen is healed... how do we stop Rahl without killing my father???"

"I don't know." Bash replied with great worry.

"Rahl? He's...back too?" Delphine muttered as she opened her chocolate eyes and then became quite agitated as she sat up. "No..no, Bash, you cannot take me back there!"

Bash sat beside her and took her trembling hands into his.

"I will protect you. We have others that will protect you as well. Someone dear to us needs your healing, for she has been tainted with his venom and Lola...she's believed you dead all this time. She needs her mother...she needs you Jocelyn."

Delphine's hand swiftly covered his mouth as her eyes gaped wide with fear and Charles' jaw dropped open.

"Don't ever say my name out loud! They both will hear you! I have been hiding from Harker for so long and I know he is near. Those farm animals did not die because of me...and that boy...it's Harker's curse upon me that made him go blind. I..I cannot heal your friend without cost and if I go there and attempt to, Rahl will surely punish me or even kill me this time. I can not attempt to take what he has marked for himself...not even our daughter."

"WHAT????" Charles roared. "Lola...she is my sister?????"

"Charles, calm down and let me explai..."

"Do not patronize me!! Why was I never told this??? Does my father know??? Does Lola even know??? My god, I...I had a cru...I can't even say it aloud. I feel ill..."

Charles rushed to the front of the ferry and leaned his head over the rail in hopes that the chilled wind would hold his vomit down.

"Charles. Please listen." Bash sympathetically said as he walked up behind him. "Your father does not know. There are some things he cannot remember. Possibly from the trauma of what Rahl did while consuming his body and Lola, she was too young. Neither Delphine nor Rahl told her."

The mad warlock spun around. "Then how do YOU know??!!"

"Because Rahl made sure I knew all those years ago."

"And you never told my father??!"

"Charles...I..I couldn't. Delphine swore me to secrecy because...Rahl..he..used his magic to force her in his bed. She was ashamed and never wanted Lola to know either and I...I could not tell Stephane what he had done. It would have destroyed him. Our father made him do similar things when he was a young boy like you and that is what made Rahl exist in the first place..."

"I can hear no more of this! I have been lied to about everything from the day I was born and now this. Leave me alone!"

The ferry docked and Charles was the first one to disembark, immediately heading straight to his horse as Bash followed with Delphine in his arms once more.

"Wait! Someone is out there!" Delphine warned before Bash could place her up on his horse.

The warlock spun his head around to the forest as he continued to shield her body, protecting her like he promised he would do, when Haldir and company appeared from the darkness.

"Sebastian. Charles. We recognized your horses so we waited for your return."

"Haldir. We have been searching for you to bring you back. All of you. Terrible things are happening back at the castle."

"I have been banished by your brother. More terrible things will most likely occur if I return."

"There are things you do not know."

"Do not feel left out Haldir. It's something my family likes to do. Keep secrets." Charles retorted as he walked off to relieve himself.

After the Marchwarden watched the boy walk away with a raised brow, he turned back to Bash.

"If you are referring to the earthly disturbance this evening, we are well aware of it's cause."

"Well, no, I was not speaking of that, but yes. If my suspicions are correct, it was King Thranduil. He is alive?"

Rumil's Silvan eyes jolted to Haldir as Haldir's moved to Delphine, consumed with caution.

"I know who you are. Your reputation precedes you. I sense evil upon you. You are marked with it. Why is she here?"

"Haldir. It was placed upon her long ago by Harker by no fault of hers. Josie needs her help, for she too has been marked by evil."

Haldir's sapphire eyes dilated and bolted back to Bash as Delphine's eyes widened.

"What has happened to Jo?? Is she alright???" Haldir barked as he stepped forward.

"The woman's name is...Josie?? and called Jo?? Red...hair???" Delphine cut in, highly astonished.

Bash peered down at the woman of long brown locks like Lola's. "You...know her?"

"I...I...." she fearfully stuttered. "I cannot speak of this here."

Haldir's eyes fixated on hers and they began to narrow.

"You can and you will, for I can make you speak the truth witch."

"Haldir, time is of the essence. We must get back and heal Delphine so she can help Josie. She will tell you what you need to know on the way."

"No..no I won't. You don't understand. None of you do."

Haldir moved before her with intense intimidation plastered all over his sullen face as his jaw clenched.

"Then you will make me understand, for you will not go within eyesight of her without my approval. Now speak before I force your tongue."

"I...I...well she...she was...best friend's with my daughter long ago. In the civilian world. Please...I am not supposed to speak of Josie to anyone."

"You are...Sarah's mother, Jocelyn?" Haldir asked as he tilted his head.

"Well this just gets better and better." Charles piped with a smug grin. "Did you know she's also Lola's mother??"

"Shhhh!!!" she whispered to both the elf and the warlock in a panic and then continued to Haldir in a barely audible tone. "For all intents and purposes, yes. But please...H..Haldir. If it is true about the goblin King bringing forth the dead...Caroline will most certainly be one of them and...she will come for me. I...I told you Bash...I cannot go back there!!! I won't!"

A crackling of twigs came from the forest behind them and Delphine gasped in fright, then unsteadily bolted off into the trees.

"Delphine!" Bash shouted and ran off after her with all of the others quickly following.

"Halt!" Haldir commanded, causing everyone, including Delphine to freeze in their tracks.

Haldir's chin lifted for him to smell the air, his nostrils boldly flaring as he sucked it in.

"Narcisse is here. Or shall I say Darken Rahl?" Haldir snarled as his keen nose could pick up both the peppermint and pepper scent of the conjoined entities.

Swords, bows and and axe were all raised and shimmered in light of the waxing moon and then out of the darkness appeared the wicked warlock lord, caped, hooded and holding a charged up ball of golden electricity in his palms as he glowered at them.

"Well if it isn't Haldir of Lorien and his pointy eared sisters. Long time no see girls. Are you ready to dance?"

Rahl pursed his lips tight and raised his hand, chucking the lightning ball at lightning speed into the center of the group, knocking each of the nine to their backs with the blinding explosion.

He then turned on the guards and gave them the same dose of medicine.

"You are MY army. Are...we...clear??! Or shall I start singing a good old Christmas carol for you? Warlocks roasting on an open fire." he sang. "Lord Rahl nipping off your toes."

All but the guards flung to their feet with great agility and resumed their fighting stance with weapons raised, but not Charles. He became enraged at ran at the man with his father's face, wielding his sword.

"Give me back my father!!!!"

As Charles brought the razor sharp blade to the imposter's throat, Rahl bellowed in cackling laughter as he knocked the blade from his hand and the stunned boy to the ground, then held his blade to his chest in return.

"Let us see if you are all as simple minded as this young witch! My blade rests only centimeters from his heart."

"Rahl! Leave him alone. It is I you want yes?? Here I am." Bash shouted, panting desperately.

"If there's one thing I despise, it is a martyr...and a traitor!" Rahl snapped back at Bash.

"You're the traitor!" Charles fearlessly riposted. "Would you really kill your own son???"

"You, my foolish boy, are NOT my son, just as I am not your father, which you so hypocritically just displayed as you rushed me with your sword! You cannot kill me and if you could, you kill daddy dearest!"

"I was not trying to kill you, only slow you down."

Charles swung his hand up and hurled a magical fast ball of his own at Rahl's chest, whipping the dark lord's shoulder back, but not taking him to the ground.

A sinister grin formed on Rahl's lips as he brought his shoulder back with a snap, then he advanced on Charles.

"Weak just like your father. I have had enough of you."

"NO!" Bash shouted and dived over Charles, whipping his body to the side just before Rahl's sword pierced the ground where he had lied.

"AND you!" Rahl continued and raised the blade again.

"Stephane!! STOP!!! I'm your brother! Charles is your son!! I know you're in there!!! Fight him!!! You are the stronger one!!! You are the REAL one!!!"

Rahl's hand that held the sword began to shake and in anger, he grabbed his wrist with the other hand to steady it. As he desperately tried to swing the weapon down at the huddled pair, his hand slingshot the sword through the air and then his eyes burned a blinding yellow light as his head arched back as a peppermint breeze stormed through his hair.

With a heavy exhale, Rahl's head lowered as his the glow of his eyes faded to a soft white shimmer, then became their normal icy blue hues.

"Ch...Charles? B..Bash? Where...where am I?"

"Father???!!" Charles whimpered as he and Bash slowly stood up.

"NO!" Delphine screamed. "It's not him! He still is in Rahl's form!"

"Oh Jocelyn, you always too smart for your own good. Run witch run, all of you run while you still can. I'm hungry and ready to hunt! I love cat and mouse games!"

Before their very eyes, Aragorn's, Bard's, Gimli's, Haldir's, Rumil's, Orophin's, Bash's, Charles, Delphine's and the guards', Rahl shapeshifted into the big black beast with eyes that lit up like there was sun in the dark of night as it's tantalizing tongue slurped over it's cold wet nose.

And then a low malevolent growling purr rolled up it's broad neck and steamed out into the brisk air.

"RUN!!" Delphine cried as she wasted no time in sprinting off.

The jet black panther then ferociously pounced directly at Bash.

@redeemer46

How wickedly purrfect and true!

[the-fiction-witch]

Wizard

Media - The Artful Dodger Character - Jack Dawkins Couple - Jack X Reader Reader - Y/n Dawkins (Jack's Wife) Rating - 15 Gore/ blood/ medicine/Victorian medical procedures/ Word Count - 3524

I finished up starting to pack my tools away as Hetty took the patient back to bed and the crowd cleared out happy with their fill of blood from the grand display. I rubbed the sweat from my brow with the rolled sleeve of my shirt trying not to get blood on my face given my hands were coated in it.

"Knock Knock," A voice speaks up,

And Immediately I smiled and turned my attention to the door,

There Y/n stood, In her knee-high boots, stockings, petticoats, her sweet pale blue dress with off-white details long since turned grey in the wash, her little lace gloves and her Y/H/C hair in sweet beautiful curls, a small wicker basket in her hand looking sweet and huggable as ever.

"Awww, there you are." I cooed, "I was wondering where my daily kiss was?"

She rolled her sweet Y/e/C eyes and came over kissing my cheek,

"Hey! That's all I get?" I jokingly complained wrapping my arms around her and trying to pull her in for a proper kiss,

"Jack! You're getting blood all over my dress!" She complained,

"Well this wouldn't be a problem if you'd just given me a proper kiss," I joked, "Now would it?"

She rolled her eyes again and rested her hands on my shoulders pulling our lips together,

I smiled and happily kissed her back squeezing her in my arms a little until she pulled away, "That's better,"

"What on earth were you up to anyway?"

"Amputation. Some guy crushed his whole leg ankle to knee."

"Horrid." She gaged,

"I know, I know. You hate all that stuff." I cooed, "So? Why has my lovely wife come to visit me?"

"What did you forget when you left this morning?" She asked,

Immediately my heart jumped to my throat, "Uuuhh..." I grumbled as I racked my mind with what I could possibly have forgotten, "...To tell my beautiful wife I love her?" I asked carefully,

"Jack you tell me that every day," She chuckled, "But no, you told me that this morning,"

"Oh... then I have no idea,"

"You feeling hungry?"

"...Now you mention it yeah actually-" and it clicked, "I forgot my lunch didn't I?"

"Yes you did," She nodded handing over the small basket she brought with her, "Left it right on the kitchen counter again,"

"Sorry, I always forget to go in the kitchen before I leave." I sighed,

"Maybe I should start putting it by the door,"

"Wouldn't be a bad idea," I nodded,

"But as it was my day off and I had to come deliver it anyway, I made you a nice home-cooked lunch instead today,"

"Awww, you're so sweet to me," I cooed peppering her cute little freckles with kisses, "How did I get a lovely little thing like you?"

"I don't know, I'm still not completely convinced you're not an apothecary."

"There are people in town who still think I'm some kind of apothecary," I sighed,

"Well maybe stop doing wizardly things," She shrugged,

"I'm a doctor, every time I do anything people assume I'm a wizard." I sighed, "I swear one of these days I'll do surgery and people will come after me with pitchforks and torches to hang me as a witch,"

"Maybe," She laughed,

"You'd stop them wouldn't you? from dragging your husband away?"

"...I suppose I would,"

"Hey!"

"Of course I would," she cooed before we shared another soft kiss,

"Good, thank you for dropping my lunch off darling, See you when I get home?"

"I'll see you then," she agreed,

We shared a final kiss before she made her way out of the theatre, I watched her as she went noticing she was limping and slightly hobbling when she walked again. She'd been doing that for a while now, I didn't notice it at first, then began writing it off as her simply stubbing her toe or turning her ankle over... she is a rather clumsy thing, but I kept noticing it consistently. I had asked but I didn't want to push the topic, I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for her given how much I check her up for these types of things, but I want to make sure she's alright. I'll ask her when I'm home maybe she'll let me investigate.

I sat in bed with my book reading over the interesting story, just as the light grew brighter down the hallway, and Jack made his way into the bedroom keeping the door open a crack to allow the cat to come in and out as needed. He came over sitting the candle on his bedside table as usual and tossing his shirt into the laundry basket before climbing into bed beside me and immediately wrapping his arms around my waist and peppering my neck with tender kisses.

"Jack! I'm reading!" I complained,

"You can do both," He chuckled nuzzling into my neck, "I shall not interrupt your reading... but if you want to stop reading I'm not going to argue with you,"

I glared down at him a little,

"What?! I can't be blamed for being attracted to my beautiful wife." He cooed, "But... as we are not too busy?"

"Humm?" I hummed suspiciously,

"Can I have a look at your leg?" He asked,

"Nothing wrong with my leg." I snapped,

"Y/n," he sighed sitting up to meet my eyes, "We both know there is, you've been avoiding putting weight on it... so, are we going to be honest with each other?"

"It's nothing,"

"What happened?"

"Victor scratched me that's all," I lied,

"Can I look?"

"It's noth-"

"Y/n. Please. May I look?"

"Fine," I sighed,

"Thank you," He cooed kissing my cheek, then my jaw, peppering soft kisses down my nightie,

"This how you give check-ups to everyone?" I teased,

"No, just my pretty wife," He winked, as he continued down,

I held my breath as he lifted my nightie but his stunned silence spoke more than any words that could have come from his mouth,

"Y/n, what happened?"

"It's just-"

"Y/n!" He pleaded, "What happened... please."

"I told you, Victor scratched me." I lied,

"Did I miss a memo on our cat learning how to fucking sword fight!" he asked, "What happened Y/n."

"I dropped my fabric scissors." I sighed,

He sighed and began to investigate more, often making me hiss as he touched my tender skin, "Let me guess you dropped your scissors off the table and they cut the length of your shin,"

"Yes."

"When did this happen?"

"...two weeks ago,"

"Two wee-" He began, "And you didn't tell your DOCTOR husband why!?"

"Because you overreact and get like this!" I complained,

"Y/n, darling I'm not overreacting. You should have told me, this is bad!" He explained,

"I cleaned and wrapped it like I'm supposed to."

"Okay, but did you continue to clean and re-wrap it every day?"

"...Yes." I lied,

"Y/n."

"No."

"You should have told me, this is really bad Y/n. It's definitely infected."

"It's fine."

"You are going to the hospital with me first thing in the morning and we are going to sort this out."

"No!" I yelped hiding my leg away, "I'll be fine."

"Y/n," he sighed, "I know you hate this kinda thing." he says gently cradling me in his arms, "But this is bad, really bad. We need to get this sorted it won't just go away on its own. It's infected, badly infected. Do you have any idea the kind of damage this could do not just to your leg but to your whole body? Y/n an infection like this could kill you, you could develop a fever, sickness, deadly sepsis!"

"But you'll amputate," I whined nuzzling into his chest, trying to hide my tears,

"I won't amputate. Not unless I have to." He said, "I'm not a butcher Y/n I'm a doctor." He soothed me by running his hand through my hair,

"I don't want to lose my leg,"

"You might not, it might not be that bad. It could just be a flesh infection which I can fix Darling." He soothed, "But if it's bad enough-"

"NO! Jack, I said no!"

"If it's bad enough and I don't you'll die!" He told me off, "I- I can't lose you, Y/n, I love you, you know that. I want you to be healthy, I don't want to see you hurt and sick, I promise I'll do what I can to save your leg and do as minimal work as I can."

"You won't take my leg? You promise?" I begged between tears,

"...I promise I won't unless I have to. I'll do everything I can but will you let me work on it?" He asked wiping my tears away,

I nodded nuzzling back into his chest,

"Okay, we'll go first thing in the morning." He cooed, "Come on let's get some sleep darling."

I got the theatre prepped and made sure everything was clean and organized while Hetty helped Y/n get sorted, I made sure to keep the larger blades and such away knowing they would only make her more panicked and frightened.

Soon enough she arrived Hetty wheeled her in so she didn't have to walk, already she was picking at her nails, shivering and sniffling back tears.

I smiled gently and helped her up onto the table, "It's all gonna be okay, I promise." I cooed fixing her hair behind her ear, "You trust me don't you?"

"...No."

"As your doctor do you trust me?"

"No."

"As your husband do you trust me?" I rolled my eyes a little,

"...mostly,"

I tried not to laugh, "Well go with that then," I nodded, "It's all gonna be okay, I love you and I'm going to take the best care of you." I told her,

She nodded fighting back her tears,

I gave her a sweet kiss before putting the mask over her face and watching as she drifted away to sleep.

Once I knew she was asleep I got to work on her leg, revealing the true damage of the infection. It was worse than I thought it had spread far and rapidly, devouring her flesh. I cut away as much as I could cleaning up as I went but... I know I don't have a choice. I have to remove the leg, from below her knee to stop the rot and infection before it gets worse and causes her far bigger problems.

"Take her to her room..." I said,

"But she needs-" Hetty began,

"I know what she needs." I sighed, "But she won't let me I know she won't. I need to talk to her, and reason with her. If I just do it she'll never forgive me, take her to her room and let her come too. I'll talk her through what we found and give her the options. Hopefully, she'll see reason and let me do it tonight."

Hetty nodded and took Y/n away, I cleaned up and headed up to the little room we gave her taking her hand in mine as I sat on her bed.

Slowly my eyes began to clear and I felt the horrible pain in my leg, feeling the throb of it bleeding. I looked around seeing the small hospital room and I looked down at my leg seeing it bandaged and bleeding. Jack was by my side his hand in mine.

"Hey, there you are," He cooed kissing my forehead, "I was getting worried."

"How long was I out?"

"A few hours, that's all darling. I was just missing you." He smiled squeezing my hand,

"How did it go?"

His smile dropped and his tone became more serious, "Y/n..."

"Jack... please say it's good news."

"It's not Darling," he said, "The infection is worse than I thought, You need an amputation."

"No. No no no, please. Please no Jack"

"I'm sorry Y/n. I'm so so sorry. But this has to be done."

"Can't you just cut it out? like you promised!" she cried,

"I've tried, there's far too much and it's so deep, if I cut it all out now you wouldn't even be able to walk on it and we'd always risk the infection returning."

"Can't you give me any medicine? can't you rub some potion on it -"

"I'm not a wizard Y/n, in this moment I wish I was, but there isn't anything I can give you, or put on it that will stop this."

"Can't you do anything! Anything else please!" she begged,

"I'm sorry Y/n. But we don't have another option, I should have just amputated while you were out but... I wanted to tell you beforehand. Even as it is it's a ticking time bomb if it gets worse."

"Jack, Please. I can't live a life like that."

"It'll be okay, I'll only cut just below your knee." he explained, "We'll get you a lovely prosthetic made up. I'll take care of you every single moment until you're better. And you'll be up and walking again in no time I'm sure of it,"

"Please... I don't want to lose my leg. Please there must be something."

"I need to do this Y/n, the longer we wait the worse it'll get. If you don't let me do this today, it will get worse. We'll end up having to cut above your knee, or you could die." he explained, "I know you don't want this, but I can't lose the woman I love, Just please, please consent to the amputation I'm begging you."

I shook my head,

"Please, Y/n!" he begged, "I'll give you anything just please let me do this."

"No. No, I can't live like that. I won't let you."

"Darling please!"

"No!"

he sighed taking a moment to pace and rub his eyes, "As your husband I can consent for you. You know that?"

"I know." I nodded,

"As your doctor, I could have done it in the theatre, without even asking for consent." he said, "Even if I needed to ask as your husband I could have consented anyway. I didn't and let you wake up so we could discuss this, and I did that becuase I know you don't want this, and becuase I love you and I want you to be happy." he explained, "I want you to have as many years as possible, so I can share them with you." he told me taking my hand once more, "I don't want you to feel this pain any longer than is needed, I don't want to lose the woman I love, I couldn't stand to watch you die, to burry you, to go on in this world without you. I want you to be happy and healthy, I want you to enjoy every moment we have together, and I want us to have sweet little babies and watch them grow up, I want us to grow old together as I always have ever since we met." he explained "Please Y/n, Please my darling. Let me do this... I'll make it as painless and as quick as I can, just a few moments of pain and then this nightmare is over."

I shook my head unable to hide my tears,

"Please Y/n Please," he begged,

But my eyes went dark...

Just in that second, I felt her hand go clammy in mine, her pulse raced, her eyes suddenly shut and her breathing rapid.

"No. no no no." I gasped,

I immediately called for Hetty and we rushed her down to the theatre managing to stabilise her before she went too deep into shock. I knew the infection was getting worse and I knew I didn't have a choice.

"Fetch the bone saw." I said between tears, "I'm so so sorry darling. But I don't have a choice." I whispered kissing her head before I took my tools, I removed the bandages and held my breath before I quickly got to work.

I woke feeling groggy and strange, I was so confused about what had happened. As I slowly sat up I felt so much pain and instantly I knew something was wrong. I pulled back the sheets and saw the bandage around my knee, and my leg missing. Immediately I screamed and cried in hysterics grasping as my bandages as if it was some sort of hellish trick that would be revealed if I simply removed them.

"Y/n stop!" Jack rushed in having heard my screams stopping my hands as they clawed at the bandages,

"Noooooo!" I screamed, "Why would you do this to me!" I cried,

"I had to, you went into shock I didn't have a choice." He explained trying to calm me down,

"Why! I told you no! You know I never wanted this! Why would you make me into a monster!"

"You're not a monster, you're not a monster." He cooed, "You're my wife, you're still the woman I love, you're all better now I promise you."

"Get out!" I screamed,

"Y/n darling-"

"GET OUT!" I screamed, pushing him away. "I don't ever want to see you again!"

"What-" he gasped, "Y/n- Darling- you- you can't mean that-"

"GET OUT! LEAVE ME ALONE!" I screamed,

"You probably just-"

"OUT!" I screamed grabbing items from the table beside me and throwing them at him,

"Y/n!"

"OUT!" I cried throwing a glass which shattered on the wall inches from his head sending broken glass over his skin,

"Ahhh!" He screamed out, "Okay. Okay. I'm going." He muttered as he quietly left,

I couldn't help but stare at it crying and screaming for hours.

"Ahh... ahh... oww..." I complained as I cleaned up the couple of cuts, one on my neck, and two on my face one just on my forehead and the other across my cheek. Once they were clean I sighed giving them some air for the day. "She is a good shot," I muttered to myself, I got pretty lucky she didn't hit my head.

I made my way through the hospital and up to Y/n's room seeing her already sat up and not eating her breakfast,

"Good morning Y/n," I cooed kissing her head and sitting down beside her, "How is my lovely wife today?" I asked,

No answer,

I sighed, It had been three weeks since the amputation and still, Y/n wouldn't speak to me. Only last week she even let me in the room without immediately throwing something at me. But I understand she has every right to be angry with me.

I checked her up every day and no signs of the infection had returned which did make me feel a lot better, I know she'll come around eventually it might just take her a while.

Once I checked her over I went to the blue paper box on the side near her bed, "Have you seen it yet?"

No answer,

"I rather think it's Tim's best work." I smiled as I opened up the box, "Look at that..." I cooed, "Mahogany pieces all without knots, sterling steel so it won't rust up even in the rain, and see here there is this little slider, so you can put in fabric lined wooden slates or even ones like this see with some lovely ivy carved into it, and just slide it in the front and Boom it'll match your outfits." I explained showing off all the work that went into the prosthetic, "Spared no expense for my darling wife."

She sniffled, "You made it just for me?"

I smiled hearing her voice again and I kissed her cheek, "Just for you, not another one like it in the world." I told her, "Would you like to try it?"

She sniffled again but nodded,

"Okay." I smiled, "Even got you a little silk cushion for inside, so you're lovely and comfy," I told her as I gently slid it on for her giving it an adjustment, "How does it feel?"

"Nice." she nodded, "...I'm sorry Jack," she said running her fingers over my cut,

"It's okay." I took her hand, "I know it was a lot, emotionally for you. I'm just happy you're okay." I cooed, "You still love me?"

"I do still love you," she smiled,

"Then that's all I care about," I smiled back, "You're healthy, your happy, and you still love a dumbass like me...Maybe we should get you a psych test."

She playfully shoved my shoulder,

"I'm kidding!" I laughed, "Before you throw another glass at my head,"

"I didn't want to hurt you... I was just so angry,"

"I understand,"

"I'm sorry, can you forgive me for throwing a glass at your head?

"Of course I can Darling," I cooed, "can you forgive me for cutting your leg off?"

"I can." She nodded, "Thank you for doing it, even if I didn't want it."

"Well I couldn't let you suffer now, could I?" I chuckled, "I wish I could have saved it Y/n, But as we know I am not a wizard."

"Unfortunately,"

"Hey!" I complained, "If I was a wizard I would magic you a new leg." I joked,

"So you are a wizard." She playfully glared lifting her leg to show off her prosthetic,

"Ohh shit! I've been discovered!" I joked, "I shall have to run away to the woods before you all come to hang me,"

"No, your secret's safe with me," she cooed pulling me into a tight hug,

I smiled and hugged her back, "Thank you, Darling. Now you eat your breakfast and I'll be back with your medicine Okay?"

"Okay," she nodded,

"That's my girl," I cooed kissing her softly on the nose, but as I went to get up she pulled me back and kissed my lips,

I happily kissed her back and when we pulled away I kissed her forehead, "I love you,"

"I love you too,"

"I'll see you soon." I cooed squeezing her hand before I headed back to work.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

If you ever feel like writing a Drabble where Misha is on a date and gets broken up with please tag me, cause I’d love it 😈

CW: Whumper POV, sadistic whumper, Misha thinks a lot of violent things about basically everyone

-

A muscle in Misha's jaw twitches as his teeth meet, grinding together with the effort it takes to just... listen. He's wildly aware of the steak knife lying next to his right hand, convenient as can be, but probably nearly as dull as a bread knife.

"It's just... I kind of feel like you don't actually care," Michelle says, and looks at him with big, imploring eyes. He thinks about gouging them out and putting coins there, something Tyoma read to him once about paying for the ride to Hell. "Not, like, about me, but... well, yes, it feels like you don't care about anything, me included."

He nods, breathing carefully. "I don't think that's true," He says, and his voice stays mild, but the rage burns him up from the inside. It's the only thing he ever feels with any level of strength - every other emotion feels sort of faded by comparison, but anger... anger is bright and sharp and hot and good.

She raises her eyebrows, disbelieving, and then lets out a little laugh, picking up her fork to pick at her salad. "Okay, fine. Name one thing you even remotely care about more than yourself."

That's easy. Misha doesn't even hesitate. "My brother."

Her hand stills, a bit of lettuce dripping ranch dressing pierced right through, as if the vegetable bleeds white with green flecks. Misha's eyes flicker down to it, wondering if he could get a pitchfork all the way through a torso and try to recreate the image. When he looks back up at her face, the expression on her face is a strange one.

"... Yeah, okay," She says, speaking slowly. "But... like. You and your brother aren't... normal about each other."

"What does that mean?"

If she insults his Tyoma, he will slice her face to ribbons, even if the trail leads right to him. It'd be worth it, to show her ruined body to Tyoma and say, look, she said bad things about you, look how much I love you that I have ensured she can't say them again.

"I... I don't know, Mikhail." She says it almost like Michael in her stupid American accent, and he swallows down a correction. It isn't worth it. "I just mean... look, my brother's a couple years older than me. I know tons of people with brothers, and none of them spend as much time together as you guys do. And, like, he looks at me like I'm intruding on you two."

"Tyoma only wants to protect me," Misha lies, smooth like oil.

Tyoma wants to protect you from me.

"Right. But. Still, like, it's weird, right?"

Misha exhales, slowly. Tyoma always tells him to breathe away the anger before it takes over when he's in a place where people will see it. He tries, he really does try.

"I do not think so," He says, placing each word into the air, picturing them as stones he drops to weigh her down, drag her under the surface of the water. "We come from Russia when we are little, we have only each other for long time." His accent is thickening, he's dropping the unnecessary English words that used to drive him up the wall.

The other kids laughed because he forgot the 'a' or the 'the' in so many sentences, and sometimes he scratched them up or bit them, and then Tyoma taught him how to stop himself, how to breathe first.

"No, I get that-"

"Do you?"

She swallows, and she sees something in his face. He knows she does, because she sits up suddenly, her spine straightening. She's tense, now. He thinks about when she explained to him that she keeps her keys between her knuckles when she walks late at night out of her job at the mall, how she never wears her hair in a ponytail because that would make it easier to grab. All the little rules she lives by to keep herself safe. He hadn't been paying much attention, it had seemed like so many pointless little games.

"Yeah," She says, and her voice is a little husky, now. "Yeah, I do. You were all by yourselves when you moved here, I understand that. But, like... that was more than ten years ago. And dating you still feels like I'm dating you both, except that I kind of get the feeling that your brother isn't into the idea."

Misha hasn't ever considered it that way. He looks to the side, out into the eternal rain. Why his parents moved to this part of the country, where a drizzle is good weather and sun is a rarity, will never make sense to him. "I can see why you think this," He says, finally, and his voice is softer now. He can see Michelle relax.

It's her own fault, not realizing that predators are often quietest just before they strike.

"I like seeing you," He continues, and looks down at his own steak, half-eaten, so raw it might as well be bleeding on the plate. "I am sorry you do not want to see me any longer, but we can stay friends?"

"Yeah," She says, and he wonders if she's lying. Misha lies all the time, about everything, constantly. But he can never tell if other people are lying - mostly, he doesn't care. "Yeah, friends. Listen, I'm gonna-... if you're okay, I'm gonna go. Do you mind grabbing the check?"

She's leaving, he thinks, and making sure she's gone before he can follow her out.

It doesn't matter.

He knows where she lives, works, who her friends are...

Tyoma would tell him this would be too close, people would look at him. Likely suspect, unlike the strangers in bars he's never seen before. Unlike the women walking the streets with no one to report them missing. Tyoma is right, he's right, and so Misha pushes it down. Instead, he looks over Michelle's face, memorizing it as best he can.

"No problem," He replies, and pushes his chair out, standing up to offer her a hug. She looks unsettled, but unwilling to make a scene - she steps into the hug, and he reminds himself not to hold her tight enough to hurt. He breathes in her perfume.

"I will see you around," He says, voice kind and soft, unworried. Unbothered.

"Yeah," She mumbles as she breaks away from him. She grabs her purse and he watches her go. She has her phone in her hand and then to her ear before she disappears from the window, and he thinks about how she's probably calling someone so she'll be on the phone all the way to her car, in case he runs after her.

In case he gives chase.

Misha, though, just sits quietly back down and cuts another bite of his steak.

He will forget her in a week, or two or three, and find some other girl. He has no doubts he'll find someone new, there's always someone new. It's not like he cares about them, he just hates when they leave him.

But Tyoma will still be there.

He finishes every single bite of his own dinner and about a third of Michelle's remaining salad before he pays and leaves, walking out into the nighttime rain without even batting his eyes against the droplets that land on his lashes.

Even the anger is fading, now. No feeling stays in him for long, he flits from one to the next. Only the itch is permanent. Michelle can go - he doesn't need her, or even care about her very much. He just hates being refused.

He sits in the driver's seat and dials the only number he knows by heart.

"Allo," Tyoma says, sounding like he's been woken up out of a dead sleep. Misha grins, knowing he'll be all mussed up, hair in his eyes. "Mishka? Vse khorosho?"

"Yeah, is fine," He answers in English. "Michelle breaks up with me tonight."

"Oh." Tyoma hesitates, then asks, gently, "Are you okay?"

Misha's smile widens. If he can't feel enough for things to matter, Tyoma at least feels enough for both of them. It's cute, that he thinks Misha might be heartbroken. "Da. Is fine. I want to go out tonight, though, find someone."

Tyoma's silence is so long that Misha breaks it with laughter, shaking his head where he sits in his car.

"Not like that! Uspokoit'sya, Artyoshka. Just to meet girls. Do you have work?"

"Mmmf, no. My night off. I can go. I can... what time s'it?"

"Eight-thirty."

"Mishka..." Tyoma groans. Misha can see him collapsing back into bed, head against the pillow. "I sleep for only four hours!"

"I know. Mne zhal', Artyoshka," He isn't, he isn't sorry at all, "But I want to go out. You will come with? Yes? If I come home, you will go with me out tonight?"

If Tyoma says yes, he won't kill anyone tonight. If he says no, Misha will find someone who looks like Tyoma and kill them instead, take pictures, and show Tyoma what he's done by caring about a little sleep more than his own brother.

He's picturing, with delight, what it would be like to see Tyoma's eyes go so wide and scared of him, like the others do before they die. How handsome Tyoma would be bleeding. But all his big brother does is sigh heavily. "Da. I need to shower and dress. Come home?"

"I will." Misha sighs, feeling so much better already. Even just thinking about fixing the itch helps, a little. Even if he would never ever hurt his brother, sometimes thinking about it is just... fun. "Tyoma?"

"Da?"

"Thank you. You are a very good brother."

He hangs up before he hears if Tyoma says anything back. Tonight will be just for drinking, dancing, and maybe seeing if any girls will go into the filthy bar bathrooms with him, and he won't hurt anyone. He won't hurt anyone at all.

He can save that for later.

Especially if any of those girls like Tyoma more.

[thedevilsmemes]

ASTARION ANCUNIN QUOTES ~ BALDUR'S GATE 3 SENTENCE MEME!

"Hello, darling. Don't be shy, I promise I not to bite until we've been formally introduced."

"The tadpole's influence broke his dominance over me, and now I can finally pursue the one thing I've hungered for these long dark years."

"I'll be the last thing the bastard ever sees."

"Given that my choices were 'eternal life' or 'bleed to death on the street', I took him up on the offer."

"It was only afterwards I realized just how long 'eternity' could be."

"By the Hells. Sex, my dear. A night of passion."

"I'm out of wine and flowers, so I hope an introduction will suffice."

"And I wish I was drinking out of the skull of everyone who's ever wronged me. Life is tough."

"I've been waiting. Waiting since the moment I laid eyes on you. Waiting... to have you."

"Yes darling, that's what we call a lie."

"All I want is a little fun, is that so much to ask?"

"Why hello. Welcome to my humble party."

"Oh, we're lying to each other now? Excellent."

"But... you're no stranger now. Just strange."

"I hate it. This is awful."

"Wait! Don't interrupt them. Let me do it. They sound disgusting."

"I don't know, I'm sure a vampire spawn could still rip out your heart."

"My, My. Who knew our friend had so much blood in them?"

"Oh, you're such a sweetheart."

"I'm just glad you're being sensible about these revelations. I was worried people might turn up with torches and pitchforks."

"Although, there's still time."

"I already apologised. What more do you want? Unless you're looking for another nibble?"

"Yes, darling? Do you need something?"

"What in the sweet hells were you THINKING activating that lance, I was right there!"

"Next time? No no no, if there is a 'next time' I'll be the one aiming the all-powerful weapon."

"Although, I do appreciate you trying to fix your mistake, just don't do it again!"

"It's just that I happen to be a... what's the best way to put this? A vampire?"

"Oh my honour, the only thing on my mind, is depraved carnal lust."

"You couldn't wait ten seconds before being an absolute freak."

"Oh, good, puns. Because clowns aren't enough of a horror already."

"What? Was it something I said?"

"Really? - Anything in particular?"

"Now, I can't help but notice that one of us is positively drenched in blood. So..."

"At least the smut peddlers of Sharass' Caress will have a field day writing erotic verse about us when we're both dead."

"Hundreds? Urgh, it'll take hours to kill them all. She/He's right, we should just go."

"Oh? Then what do you want?"

"Five seconds into this relationship and I already want to break up with you."

"Oh the one hand, killing Gortash will be fun. On the other, Halsin can be very annoying."

"The man can't stay quiet about 'enjoying the freedom of nature's gifts'. I bet he'd outlaw clothing if he could."

"Good Morning. Thank you for not killing me the other night."

"Of course, what fun! I'm going to fucking kill you."

"I am. And beautiful - not enough people mention that."

"Hmm. Hmm. Thank you for helping me. It was very kind."

"I can't even tell if any of you are acting strange because you've been replaced or because this group is full of weirdos!"

"So... I was wondering if maybe - perhaps - you might be able to..."

"Can you read what's on my damn back? Please?"

"Well, hello... Looking for a cuddle?"

"What are you? No. We are not jumping down there!"

"Oh - eh - Hello again?"

"Easy now. Let's not do anything Hilarious."

"You have a manner of irresistible desperation about you. I like it."

"I'd trust a devil over a vampire any day. I think he likes us."

"Oh, bravo! Encore!"

"Why she sounds positively demented."

"I love it! let's tell her everything!"

"Don't be touchy. I'm sure he meant 'better off dead' as a compliment."

"I'd shake her hand, but she can still snap me in two, so... probably safest to skip it."

"Anyway, it's a brand new day. I'm sure we'll find lots of people for you to kill."

"I must see this. Don't you dare say no."

"Well, this seems like a lovely little spot. The sense of impending doom aside."

"I suppose it was only a matter of time until [ insert name ] took vengeance."

"For the Lady/Lord of loss, She/He does not like losing."

"Come to kill me again, darling?"

"Guilty as charged. Sometimes literally."

"What? No! Don't you dare! This isn't funny!"

"Huh, thank goodness, I was almost worried."

"Nice as it is, she still doesn't have the best hair in the camp."

"Well, I mean... kind of? It's a long story, honestly."

"You'll get back to me? This is important, devil! When?"

"It's not enough we have a gallery of villains to look out for, but now we could be infiltrated by a shapechanger?"

"But you're serious about this? About... us?"

"Tailor's mannequins? I never figured [ insert name ] for a follower of fashion."

"Well done again on besting Baal and all that. It was very twee."

"You filthy devil. I'm shocked."

"Haha! That's - Oh, you're serious."

"Well, of course we can leave him, it's the easiest thing in the world. We just have to keep on walking."

"Well, at least you purr for me..."

"The thing that will decide my fate forevermore? Yes, it has been on my mind, why?"

"Who knows how long before the others go feral without us there to guide them?"

"Let. Me. Go! - Ah... Hello!"

"No, as much as I'd like to become a Lord, ruling over the Underdark's vampire spawn, we have unfinished business with the mind flayers."

"I'm glad you had your fun then. I am here to provide an endless array of delights."

[catierambles]

so I had a conversation with my mom. putting it under a Keep Reading because it touches on some subjects that might upset people

My mom called me crying yesterday saying that she had to leave a vacation with my nieces and their dad early because my eldest niece, Kaylynn, is turning into a carbon copy of her mother. Their mother who refuses to go to their track meets because she doesn't want to be bored. Who made my life a living hell growing up and told me to kill myself. Who none of us want anything to do with because of how much of a manipulative (but bad at it) rabid cunt she is. Who my parents completely disowned to the point where my mom gathered up every picture she had of her from baby onwards and burned them.

Apparently their mother has been telling Kaylynn that their grandma was a horrible mother and abused her and everything that's happened to her (Amanda) is her fault. It's bullshit. Amanda (their mom) takes absolutely no accountability for her own actions. It's all everyone else's fault, not hers.

My mom then asked me if she was a terrible mother and she told me to be honest. If you all know me, I have no problems with honesty if I believe the person needs to hear the truth. I won't lie to people, but as I've said many times before, I believe everyone should be honest, but there's a fine line between being an asshole and being honest and that is how you word things.

For example: If my room mate comes to me wearing a new dress or outfit and asks me how she looks, but it doesn't look good, I'm not going to tell her "You look like shit." I'm going to say "Not really your style, I'd go with something else." I still told her that I didn't think it looked good, but I wasn't an asshole about it.

Back to mom.

She asked me if she was a horrible mother and she told me to be honest. Now, in the past, whenever she asked me to be honest about something and then I was, I would get punished because I told her something she didn't actually want to hear. But I'm 1500miles away so fuck it.

I told her she wasn't terrible all the time. She had moments when she was a great mom, but there were a lot of moments when she wasn't. I told her that the reason why I hate asking for help, with anything, is because whenever I did I was yelled at, called stupid, and made to feel like an annoyance and a burden for asking.

Me: Hey, mom, what does this word mean?

Mom: OH MY GOD CATE JUST LOOK IT UP

She doesn't remember any of this.

I told her that she didn't want children. She wanted fully-formed mini-adults who she didn't have to raise and teach and guide because that was all done before, but she got children who she did have to put that effort into and it pissed her off.

My mom was physically abused when she was growing up, by her father and her step-father, beaten severely many times. She had to grow up and be an adult very quickly because that was expected of her as the eldest girl (my mom has 5 brothers and sisters, she's the oldest out of 3 girls, Wilhelm (Billy) is the oldest out of 3 boys). She wasn't allowed to be a child. So when she had children, she didn't know what to do so she fell back on how she was raised.

Now, before you reach for the pitchforks, my mom never laid a hand on us. That was my dads job But it's as if she thought that if she didn't hit us, she wasn't abusing us, but there are many different kinds of abuse. My mom was emotionally and mentally abusive. She was overbearing and overprotective. I didn't need anyone in my life, I just needed her. I didn't need friends, I just needed her. Then there were moments when I was honestly terrified of her. When she would scream at me over the little things until she was red in the face and I was crying, and then she would yell at me for "fake" crying.

My sister lied and said that I swore, she lied a lot to try to get me into trouble and it nearly always worked. My mom yelled at me to admit it, kept saying that I was lying when I said I didn't (because I didn't) and that would make her yell at me more for lying. It culminated in her pushing me to the ground. I told her she pushed me and she said "I didn't push you, you tripped." (gaslighting) My sister eventually fessed up that she only thought I swore and my mom dropped it. I never got an apology. I was 5.

Growing up, she would come into my room in the middle of the night to "check on me" but when she would step on something because my room was messy because I was a child, she would scream at me to wake up and make me clean my room. In the middle of night. Regardless if I had school the next day. This happened many times until she finally got sick of it and threw all my stuff away, ripping posters off the walls, throwing away books and stuffed animals. I tried to hide books in between my mattress and box spring so I would at least have something, my sister who was helping her found them, asked why I had books there and mom responded with "She's a slob, why wouldn't she have them there." She never stopped to think that maybe I was hiding them so they wouldn't get destroyed and why would I have to hide them to begin with.

When I was older and had a drivers license, she would ask me to go to the store, or do this or that, but it was okay if I told her no. If I did tell her no because I was tired from school or work, she would yell at me, calling me lazy and ungrateful, and then she would call my dad to tell him how lazy and ungrateful I was. I had the choice to say no, but god forbid I actually did, so I didn't really have a choice. I had the illusion of a choice.

When I told her that I was moving to Texas, she broke down into tears and begged me to stay because if I moved that far away, she wouldn't be able to visit me. I reminded her that when I was with my ex, living 15minutes away, she didn't visit me.

"But I could have!"

But you didn't.

"I'm not dying, mom, I'm just moving away."

"But it feels like you are!"

She tried to manipulate me into staying to spare her feelings, when being in that house with her was going to kill me. She wanted me to stay because she wanted someone to rely on her, when I haven't relied on her in years at that point. She tried to keep be close, but the more she tightened her grip, the more I pushed her away.

I left anyway because I needed to.

I told her all of this. Every last bit of it. Her response?

"I don't remember any of this."

"Well of course you don't, mom. For you it was Tuesday, for me it's a core memory."

"We were always such great friends when you were growing up."

"Yeah, when I wasn't terrified of you."

She had moments when she was honestly awesome, but then there were moments when she very much wasn't and I didn't think there was anything wrong with that because she wasn't horrible all the time, so that must be normal, right? Spoiler alert, no it isn't. It's not normal. You should never be terrified of your parents. You should never have to walk on eggshells around them for fear of them turning their anger on you. You shouldn't have to think about what you say to them and how you say it for every interaction because you know if you say it a certain way, you'll get screamed at.

Now before you say "Well maybe Amanda has a point." I want you to realize that I didn't turn out like she did. Nature vs Nurture. And also, Amanda was also incredibly abusive to me growing up and was one of my main tormentors (again, she told me to kill myself because no one would miss me anyway).

"Well, she was being bullied, so she bullied you. It's only natural."

Bullshit.

I was bullied. At home and at school and I never treated anyone how I was treated. I know what it's like so I make damn sure no one else feels that way because of me. I don't make other people suffer just because I suffered. I take accountability for my actions. If I fuck up, I own up to it and I make sure I don't do it again. With Amanda everything is everyone else's fault. She has never done anything wrong ever, never will, and if you say she has, it was someone else. No one else has ever experienced what she has in the history of the world and never will. She told our parents they didn't know what it was like to raise two girls and how difficult it was. I'm sorry, what? She said this to our parents who raised us (regardless of how) that they don't understand because they've never done it.

Amanda has some kind of psychopathy. She's malignantly narcissistic to the point where she hurts everyone around her to make everything all about her. She carefully crafts different personas depending on who she's talking to so she appears to be the best most wonderful person they've ever met in their entire life and when she's got their hooks in them and they're dependent on her, the real Amanda comes out.

She tries to manipulate people in her life, but again, she's bad at it, so it's pretty fucking easy to see through it if you know her. It's why we want nothing to do with her. It's why my parents disowned her. She fucks up and she tries to twist it around so it's actually someone else's fault and we should all hate them. They're the horrible person, not her, never her. She's perfect in every way, and if you try to say anything against her, you're evil and everyone should hate you too and she will try to get everyone to hate you.

But I digress

I told mom all of this (before the Amanda bit) and she thanked me for being honest with her. For not sugarcoating it. For straight up telling her "Yeah, you did your best, but your best was shit and it hurt us."

She asked me to forgive her, that she hoped that one day I would be able to forgive her for what she's done.

I'm not Amanda. I got down off that cross years ago, used the wood to build a bridge, and got over it.

I forgave her a long time ago and I told her that. She thanked me again, we talked for a few more minutes on some other things, and that was that.

If you made it this far, have a cookie.

[amaiguri]

Worldbuilding Eating Utensils in Fantasy

Okay okay okay... so I just watched this Utensil Design video and I was like. Omg. This is SO COOL! It's got some pretty sick real-life worldbuilding, so I immediately began to think about it in my world.

Maybe I am WAAAAY too detail oriented with my worldbuilding but honestly, it's not like I'm neglecting my characters and storytelling -- I just also wanna visually design everything to be slightly to the left of reality...

The Tl;dw:

Forks only became popular because of Italian pasta

Christian Priests thought forks were "the Devil's utensil" cuz like pitchforks. No forks. God gave you hands for a reason.

We should bring back eating knives

Chinese Chopsticks were considered to be refined while knives were considered barbaric by early Confucianists -- and thus, they belonged in the kitchen, while daintily picking up pre-chopped food with chopsticks is good

Chopsticks in Japan are considered a bridge between food and your mouth, just like bridges cross rivers or trees bridge you to the Gods. There are celebrations surrounding chopsticks when you're born and when you die. It's a BIG big cultural thing.

In India, your different fingers activate different chakras, so eating with your hands helps connect you to the natural world

So anyway, with those VERY COOL revelations (but seriously, go watch the video), I did some more worldbuilding on Yssaia's eating utensils. Please reblog or something to tell me about your world's eating utensils!

Here's mine:

Northern Culinary Tools

Northerners primary use eating knives -- cutting off their portion of food at the table -- and everyone carries their own set when going to eat at another person's house. This is also because, if someone is going to stab you, everyone is going to want to have their weapons on them.

Finger foods are not unheard of, but are more rare due to the prevalence of gloves year round. They are considered to be more intimate and/or lower class, depending on the context.

Soups are just drunk out of the bowl. Spoons are only for serving.

Demons

Eat with their hands or other shapeshifted appendages. Why would they waste effort making them when they can just bring the food to their mouth with their hands?

Among the Northern Demon Lords, there is probably some etiquette about how you do this (You can't just like gorge yourself with your mouth and dump it into your gullet all the time). It probably has to do with appearances to other people and maximizing your politeness and minimizing how easy it is to steal from you.

Sealfolk

Selkies are known for eating bowls of mackerel, eels, and sea grass whole. Because they can. They probably also invented forks for stabbing slippery things and then eating them. However, unlike in Western culture, you are not expected to eat the whole thing in one bite. You can stab and then take smaller bites off your fork.

Southern Culinary Tools

Southerners use chopsticks and bone spoons in conjunction with more disposable utensils, such as bread, to eat -- due to the heavier reliance on frying and boiling in their cuisine. Their food is generally warmer overall and, in some regions, spicier, thus making it physically harmful to eat with just your hands.

Also, the heavier reliance on fermentation in Telethens means you don't wanna put your filthy hands in the brine or you'll ruin its balance -- you have to use chopsticks to pluck stuff from the jars.

Sidebar: When I do revisions on my webfic, I am ABSOLUTELY going to have to have a scene where Arlasaire learns or even simply complains about having to use chopsticks and that is HILARIOUS.

That being said, the Blood Tsars -- particularly in the South East -- eat more with their hands due to long term connection with Demons. Designing food correctly for manual consumption + the ability to elegantly eat food with your hands and disposable utensils is considered peak culture there.

[gaychocolatehomicide]

Impulse Control Asleep, Post Drafts

I'm trying to post more/more regularly so here's a draft of a thing that I feel confident enough about to put it here. I'm putting a more extensive summary directly under the cut, but tl;dr it's a Meet the Protagonists piece.

Word Count: 7059

Current title is Not Alone, from Apotheosis 1:8

So Andraste said to her followers: "You who stand before the gates, \ You who have followed me into the heart of evil, \ The fear of death is in your eyes; its hand is upon your throat. \ Raise your voices to the heavens! Remember: \ Not alone do we stand on the field of battle.

Excerpt that will probably go in the summary when I post it:

Even though he knows Harea cannot have survived the explosion of the temple, Rogelan stays where he is. He would rather let the approaching humans capture him than risk any more harm coming to his cousin. She and Isene have been his to protect since before any of them had their vallaslin. His heart grieves, even as his mind shrinks from understanding the destruction that surrounds him.

Then Harea breathes.

The more extensive summary is as follows: I want to establish the immediate canon divergence that happens with my three inkys playthrough, and how the three of them play off each other at least a little bit. It is, I will admit, a little Rogelan focused. And Harea is by herself when she's conscious, but really her role in the first 1/3 of the storyline is "soft thing to be protected" rather than an actor in her own story, so I think I can be forgiven for it.

The things I'm most wobbly on (and would therefore deeply appreciate critique/suggestions regarding) are the battle in Ise's section and (minor spoiler) Andraste's characterization in Harea's. I will love you forever, please tell me your opinion on how well those two things play.

Anyway

__________

Rogelan comes to consciousness with his arms wrapped around his cousin's shoulders, and for a moment he thinks it's all been a dream. The shem conclave, the shouts for help, the explosion. The running, seemingly endless running through a nightmare landscape, hounded all the way by humans with pitchforks or sword-emblazoned armor. He feels the sun on his back and the heat of a fire near at hand, and Harea curled up under his arm for warmth or protection from her bad dreams, and he imagines himself safe at home with the clan. 

Then he opens his eyes. 

The many small fires nearby produce oily black smoke, and the sky is a sickening fade green. All around him lies what is left of the shattered Temple of Sacred Ashes. A troop of nervous shems with their swords out are approaching, looking battered and shaken. Dangerous. Like they're hunting an excuse, or perhaps a scapegoat. He looks about for his sister, but he sees only blasted corpses. None of this, however, is as awful as what he holds in his arms. 

Harea's body is blackened and charred by fire. Rogelan's first instinct is to leap away, horrified, and perhaps retch up the contents of his stomach. He stops himself just in time, terrified that she will collapse into dust and embers if he takes the support of his arms from her. The delicate features of her face are nearly unrecognizable. It is only lifelong companionship that tells him the thing he's holding was once his cousin. Nothing moves for an eternity of seconds. 

A crackle of green energy pops and shudders between their bodies, somewhere in the vicinity of where Harea's left hand ought to be. Rogelan stares, completely at a loss for what else to do. He doesn't know how he's managed to come through whatever has just happened alive and largely unhurt, but it seems that he is the only one. The squad of shems is getting closer. If he doesn't move soon, they'll be on him before he has a chance to defend himself. If he does move, he risks Harea disintegrating. Even though he knows she cannot be alive, Rogelan would rather let himself be taken by the humans than let her fall apart. She and Isene have been his to protect since before any of them had their vallaslin. His heart grieves, even as his mind shrinks from understanding the destruction that surrounds him. 

Then Harea breathes. It is an abrupt, shuddering gasp—the inhale of a person surfacing after a long dive beneath the surface of a lake. Flakes of charred skin shake loose and flutter to the black ground with every tiny movement. Rogelan barely has time to process this development before the unique green-and-gold shimmer of Harea's magic swirls out from that odd crackling vent in her hand, curling its healing tendrils up and around the two of them. He finds what minor scrapes and bruises he has managed to acquire disappearing beneath the gentle, probing light. 

Rogelan watches the magic, which is blended oddly with the black-green light of the fade and with another radiant sun-bright energy that he doesn't recognize. It surges in great pulses now, enveloping Harea and forcing Rogelan to take a few steps away despite his resolution to support her. He raises his hand to shield his eyes from the suddenly blinding light, which leaves the silhouette of a woman wreathed in flame seared onto his corneas in the heartbeat between realizing he needs to look away and doing so. An armored hand comes down on his shoulder, steadying him when he stumbles over a lump of something he doesn't want to identify. 

He twists round and finds a human only a few inches shorter than himself, with curly hair and a concerned expression. Of the shems within easy reach, he's the only one whose sword is sheathed. The hand he doesn't have on Rogelan’s shoulder is similarly raised to protect his vision, but his attention is on the severe-looking woman whose armor announces her as a Seeker of Truth—to Rogelan’s understanding, a sort of super-templar tasked with apprehending dangerous rogue mages and lyrium-mad runaways from the ranks of the Order. He's met two or three of them over the years, hunting the same quarry. They don't make him feel easy, but knowing one is around removes some of the defensive terror from his immediate sense of panic. At least there will be someone in authority to reason with. 

The light subsides after no more than ten rabbit-fast heartbeats. Rogelan drops his hand immediately, unsure what he's expecting to see. Whatever he’s expecting, it isn't what he finds. Harea, looking completely uninjured but for the strange crackling thing in the palm of her left hand, stands shakily where her charred corpse had been just moments ago. The light which had engulfed her now shines, like dawn on a snowy morning, from her eyes. She looks at the Seeker, who has her shield up but is making no threatening movements just yet. In a voice so unlike her own that Rogelan has trouble believing it's coming from her throat, Harea speaks. 

“Be not afraid, truth seeker most valiant / what has been forgotten has not yet been lost. / The Maker’s song-weaver, from silence unending / stands now before you, mantled in light. / Greet this, my champion, guide her and keep her / for darkness is coming to cloak all with night.” 

Whatever this is, it isn't Rogelan’s cousin. He can sense the power rippling off of it like heat from an open forge, and he can see its words striking the Seeker like a smith’s hammer. Most of the other shems are blasted back by the sheer force of this thing's presence. Then the creature turns its flaming gaze on Rogelan, and he feels the weight of its attention. He can't look away. It monopolizes his focus in a way he has never experienced before; the nervous shem soldiers with their swords out stop mattering. So do the smoldering ruins of the temple, the warbling rent in the sky overhead, and the gnawing terror of not knowing where Isene is. Nothing matters, suddenly, except hearing what this entity has to say to him.

“Protection incarnate, hear truth and heed it: / souls beyond number cry out for your aid. / The weightiest matters, for leadership lacking, / fall on the foolish and ruin is wrought. / Gifts of the elf-gods, your sword arm and shield / in righteous defense of your duty upheld / now called by their Makers, to battle unbroken: / Stand for your People and save all the world.” 

The light abruptly leaves Harea’s eyes as soon as she finishes speaking, and she crumples to the ground. Rogelan breaks out of the shem soldier’s grip and rushes to her side. He pulls her into a half-sitting position against his chest and frantically checks for a pulse. When he finds it, he finally lets himself breathe. She's alive. Whatever else is going on, whatever that thing was that used her body to deliver its… prophecy? None of it is important. As long as she's alive, he hasn’t failed completely. 

“What… was that?” The Seeker demands, as if Rogelan is supposed to know. 

Before he can respond, a wall of fire goes up between the Seeker and the two elves on the ground, effectively ringing Rogelan and Harea with roaring flames. The fire flickers blue-green at the edges, and another ten-halla weight lifts off Rogelan’s chest. He holds a hand up, though he doubts it can be seen above the magical fire, and shouts in Elvhen. “Isene! It's alright, stand down.”

The flames give a surprised flutter, then burn low and go out. The assembled soldiers have parted to give their Seeker a clear line of sight to the unfamiliar mage, inadvertently making a gap for Rogelan to see his sister half-crouched atop a chunk of tumbled masonry with her staff raised. He slips an arm under Harea’s knees and stands up, carrying her with the ease of long practice. The Seeker has her shield up again and is glowing faintly with holy light, presumably prepared to throw down a Spell Purge to clear the fire and then charge. She seems nonplussed by the sudden deescalation. 

“You're alive!” Ise leaps down from her perch, slings her staff into its clasps at her back, and crosses the distance between them in almost the same motion. All the shems take an instinctive step further away, with the exception of the Seeker and the man who’d arrested Rogelan’s earlier stumble. “Is Harea okay?” Isene sounds almost as panicked as Rogelan felt just moments ago. 

“She's fine,” he assures her in the common tongue. “I don't know how, but we both are. She just needs to rest.” More quietly, and in the language he hopes no one else present speaks, he adds, “We’ll talk about it in private.”

Ise looks like she has about a million questions, but she just nods. On closer inspection, Rogelan can see that her clothes are torn and signed, her face is bruised, and there are angry scrapes on both her arms. She's also favoring her right leg, though she's doing a decent job of hiding it. Wherever she was when the explosion happened, she wasn't entirely spared its effects.

The Seeker breaks in before Rogelan can ask after Ise’s injuries. “You are all under arrest,” she announces, “on suspicion of involvement in this.” 

“You think we had-” Ise flares, but Rogelan kicks her surreptitiously in the ankle. 

“We understand your suspicion,” he says over her immediate protest. “We’ll come quietly; we don't want any trouble.”

The Seeker eyes Ise’s staff and the leaf-shaped elven long blade still at Rogelan’s hip. “Drop your weapons and follow me.”

“Of course,” Rogelan agrees peaceably. “My hands are a bit full at the moment, but I won't stop one of your soldiers from taking my sword.”

“You can't be serious,” Isene hisses in his ear. “These shems will string us up as scapegoats the moment we let them disarm us!”

“If we don't do as they say,” he murmurs back, keeping his eyes on the Seeker, “they'll kill us right here. I recognize this one's armor. We may have a chance to negotiate, but not if you start lighting people on fire. I can't fight and protect Harea at the same time.” 

She grinds her teeth, amber eyes shifting nervously from soldier to soldier, clearly calculating whether she thinks she could take them all on alone. After a tense moment, Isene arrives at the same conclusion Rogelan came to. It's too risky. She makes a frustrated sound and unslings her staff. When the Seeker holds out a hand, Ise puts her weapon in it. The man who caught Rogelan earlier approaches and unhooks the scabbard from his belt. He brings it to the Seeker, who tucks it under her arm. 

“Thank you, Cullen. Go meet Leliana at the forward camp and tell her what we found here. I will take them back to Haven.” 

“Alright. Send us as many men as you can spare.” The soldier, Cullen apparently, snaps off a salute and jogs back towards the rim of the crater. At a hand signal from the Seeker, the remaining troops form up around Rogelan and his family, and they all follow at a slower pace, accommodating Ise’s limp and Rogelan's unconscious burden. Harea doesn't weigh enough to slow him down, but he's content to let the shemlen take as long as possible to get wherever they're going. His mind races. 

He has a duty to protect the two mages he brought to this place, and Fen’Harel himself couldn't stop Rogelan from fulfilling that duty. He’ll think of something. He just needs time.

***

Isene hates letting other people touch her staff. She crafted it herself, and there are secrets woven into the wood. The fact that decoding those secrets would take a magical genius more versed in the history of the People even than herself—a difficult achievement, as Ise is the most educated member of her clan barring Harea and Keeper Istimaethoriel—does not stop her from being nervous any time she has to hand it over. She doesn't even really like Rogelan holding it, and she trusts her brother more than anyone. 

The woman in the eyeball armor leads them out of the crater and onto the snowy mountainside, carrying Ise’s staff and Rogelan’s sword. It's obvious that no one here knows enough about what her brother is to be prepared for his unique fighting style, because they didn't take his shield or the symbol of Elgar’nan he wears around his wrist. It's only a little comforting. At least he’ll be able to use some of his abilities, though he's probably going to do everything he can to stop it from coming to that. The Vir Atish’an has too strong a hold on him, in Ise’s opinion. 

Between the two of them, they could've fought their way free of these shemlen in the crater. Once they get dragged back to town, though, there will be no chance of getting away again. Even by herself, the common troops would be easy pickings. It's the eyeball-armor soldier that she's worried about. Rogelan says he recognizes the armor, but he hasn't told her what that means, and the stranger is still holding Ise’s staff. She's getting more frustrated the longer they walk. The snow beneath her bare feet starts to hiss with every step as she turns her nervous energy into heat and vents it out of her palms and soles. 

Rogelan shoots her a warning look, but his obvious wariness only winds her up even more. A high, distant whine begins from somewhere overhead. It doesn't sound like the wind. Ise turns around to look, so she's the only one who sees the meteor of green-black fade stone come hurtling down from the enormous hole in the sky. She shouts an alarm and tackles the nearest soldier out of the impact zone. Rogelan dives to the side as soon as Isene yells, as do two more soldiers and the eyeball woman. The remaining five are crushed beneath the hurtling stone. 

Ise’s shem cries out in pain or fear, she doesn't particularly care which, and she doesn't have time to figure it out either because a black tarry substance begins to bubble from the earth not two arm spans away from where they landed. Ise rolls back to her feet, calling fire into her hands. Magic is usually harder to create and control without her staff, and she knows that if she's not careful she’ll burn herself, but when a demon erupts from the bubbles, she decides it's worth the risk. Opening her mind, she reaches out to touch the source of all magic. Every time she's done this staffless in the past, she had to coax the energy into the real world like she was trying to light a campfire with wet wood. That's not the case this time.

Today, it feels a little like trying to drink from a mountain waterfall during the spring thaw. She reaches, and instead of a trickle she receives a torrent. A gout of flame bursts from her hands, exploding into a helix of red-orange-yellow-white-blue so hot it turns all the snow in a fifteen foot radius of where Ise’s standing directly into mist, then boils even that away. She incinerates the demon and only narrowly misses the soldier she just tackled out of danger. Fortunately for everyone, Isene’s magic has always been too powerful for her own good, and Keeper Istimaethoriel has spent years teaching her how to clamp her mind closed around a spell gone wild. 

That training is the only thing that saves her. 

On instinct born from hundreds of hours of practice, Ise turns the blast of flame skyward, away from anyone who might get caught in it. She balls her hands into fists and throws all her energy into shutting the door that she’s opened. The column of fire narrows, growing brighter and hotter almost as though it’s aware that it has only moments left to vent its full fury. Like the beam of light coming through a closing door on a sunny day, the magical fire shrinks, shrinks, shrinks. And goes out. 

A tidal wave of fatigue sweeps over Isene. She stumbles sideways, away from the fade-rock meteor, and manages to stagger as far as the nearest intact snowbank before she collapses. The welcoming embrace of the snow cools her superheated body, hissing as it melts around her. She can hear the sound of continued fighting, but there's nothing she can do about it just yet. She has to lie down. 

Ise drifts in and out of consciousness for a while, unsure exactly how much time is passing. It must not be too long, though, because the fight is still raging when she surfaces. She levers herself up into a sitting position and thinks, Alright. No staffless magic when there's a hole in the sky. Good to know. 

Isene isn't primarily a martial fighter, but she can hold her own against most opponents at least long enough for Rogelan to come save her. There's more than a few downed branches, casualties of the meteor, not to mention the dead soldiers' weapons to choose from. She doesn't need magic. She stands, prepared to discover that she's been left behind by the tide of battle. Not so. The shem soldier she tackled out of the way has taken up a position in front of Ise’s snow bank and is holding off another of those shade demons. The thing is clearly on its last legs, so Isene grabs a sturdy looking stick off the ground and joins her unlikely protector. 

A heavy wallop upside the head-equivalent stuns the shade demon long enough for the soldier to run it through. It melts back into the ground, and Ise spares her shem a bright (if probably rather manic) grin before charging off towards the rest of the party. She hears a string of inventive cursing, then the sound of her shem following her. Good. Rounding the meteor, Isene has a few heartbeats to assess the situation. 

Eyeball woman and one of the other soldiers who was quick enough not to get crushed are fighting back to back, cloaked in the bright blue glow of templar magic. A hunched shape that looks like a lava flow with arms and a shade demon are closing in, though they flinch away from eyeball woman’s sword. The second soldier who survived the meteor has her back to a tree and is currently unmolested, but her shield arm hangs limp at her side and there's blood oozing from several holes in her armor. 

Rogelan is doing his thing. His right hand is wrapped around his symbol of Elgar'nan, and from it a blade of light gleams like the morning sun through a thick fog. His shield, a deceptively simple looking piece of ironbark, is glowing with the subtle runes worked into its face. A silvery surface covers it now, both a reinforcement and a mirror at the same time. The lava-thing facing him breathes a gout of fire, and Rogelan’s mirror shield catches that energy and hurls it back at the creature. He stands, an immovable bulwark between Harea’s crumpled body and the onslaught of two shades plus the lava-thing. 

As Ise watches, her brother begins to recite an old prayer in Elvhen, and blue-white plate armor spins itself out of the air and onto his limbs. She hears her shem skid to a stop behind her, presumably to stare at this working of what must, to him, look like more magic. They don't have time for gawking. She turns around and grabs the front of her shem's breastplate so she can haul him towards the battle. 

“Come on, I'm no use against that lava-thing without my magic, so it has to be you.” She shoves her shem in front of her. “Just like the shade demon, right? Ready, go!” 

Whoever trained these soldiers, they knew what they were doing. Her shem only freezes for about half a heartbeat before realizing he's been given an order and going to carry it out. He's clearly running on pure battle-instinct at this point, something which Ise has no compunctions about using to her own advantage. Sure, he wouldn't take orders from her in any other situation, but if she barks instructions in an authoritative tone at a man whose entire focus is on staying alive, she's discovered that most trained fighters will obey reflexively. 

Isene's shem rushes to help Rogelan, darting in between the shade demon and the lava-thing to deliver a textbook shortsword thrust to the thing’s back. Ise wades in after him, using her improvised club to disorient the shade demons. The influx of reinforcements and the invocation of Rogelan’s Shalathe armor are enough to turn the tide. They send the shade demons slithering back into the dirt and sandwich the lava-things between the blue gleam of a templar anti-magic field and Rogelan’s reality-enforcing aura. There are ten full seconds of ringing silence while everyone catches their breath. Then Rogelan dismisses his powers and goes to check on Harea, Isene sits down and plants her stick in the muddy dirt, and the three shem soldiers group up with their eyeball-armored leader. 

The injured soldier doesn't look so good; she has a hard time leaving her tree to join her fellows, and her protestations that she's alright are cut short by a bout of painful sounding coughing. Looks like a lot of broken ribs, from where Isene is sitting. The eyeball woman gives her a potion, but it's obvious that the general healing-factor boost isn't going to be enough. Ise lets the fretting go on for a few minutes before her conscience won't let her ignore it anymore. She groans quietly and hauls herself back up to her feet, then crosses the clearing to the group of soldiers. 

“Hey, eyeball armor,” she taps the woman's shoulder. Rogelan snorts a very undignified little laugh from somewhere to their right. 

Eyeball woman turns her head to glare at Isene. “You may call me Seeker Pentaghast. What do you want?” 

“If you give me my staff back I might be able to help,” Isene doesn't have the energy to be snarky. 

“Are you a healer?” Seeker Pentaghast’s tone abruptly grows more polite. There is a sudden hopefulness in her eyes, too. If she hadn't seen the change happen, Ise might not have been able to identify the near-despair that had characterized the woman's face before. 

Isene holds out her hand for the staff. “An indifferent one, but anything's better than nothing, right?”

Seeker Pentaghast hesitates. The wounded soldier makes a pained noise as one of her compatriots helps her shift position, and her raspy breathing grows shallower. Ise gets her staff back. 

“Do what you can.”

“Alright, clear a space.” Isene uses the blunt end of the staff to scoot the shems out of the way. “I don't know how much control of this I'm going to have, and I don't want to catch any of you if I have to get rid of some excess energy.”

Rogelan joins the larger group, carrying Harea again. “Farther back than that, please, gentlemen.” He moves them another few paces away. “‘Getting rid of excess energy’ means bolts of fire. You really don't want to be in the way.”

“I will stay here,” Seeker Pentaghast informs Ise from her position at her wounded soldier's side, “in case of emergencies.”

“It's your funeral,” Isene shrugs. She kneels beside the injured soldier and cracks her knuckles. Ise’s been told that her healing feels like getting slapped in the face, but she's fairly sure even these shem soldiers would prefer to feel slapped than dead. With both hands on her staff, she closes her eyes and focuses. Magic flows smoothly from the fade, through Isene’s staff, and out into the soldier. She thanks all the listening gods for the gate attenuators and magical channels she’s built into this staff over the years. It stabilizes the flood of energy enough that she can be precise without the fear that she'll do more harm than good. 

A glowing map of the woman’s body flashes into being in Ise’s mind, with areas of disruption picked out in red light. It's a process that requires intense concentration, but little by little Isene coaxes those areas back into the right shapes. Broken bones are the worst; she has to grasp each little fragment of bone and each disconnected blood vessel, carefully rearrange them, and then knit them back together. She can feel sweat breaking out across her forehead. Creators, she wishes Harea were awake. Her cousin can do this stuff in her sleep. 

An exhausting five minutes pass in tense silence. At the end of it, Ise has to stagger a few feet away to be sick into a convenient bush, overwhelmed and overheated by the effort. Someone helpfully arrives to hold her hair back. She wipes her mouth with the back of one hand and looks up to find her shem soldier, the one she tackled, giving her a sympathetic smile. 

“Here,” he reaches into a pouch and offers her a packet of trail rations. “It's not much, but it looks like all that took a lot out of you. You should eat something, if you think you ca-”

“I could kiss you!” Ise snatches the food and begins to wolf it down gratefully. Salt pork and hard cheese replace the taste of bile in her mouth, and she washes it down with half of her water skin. The whole process is made more difficult by the staff still in her hand, but she's not letting the thing out of her grasp again until she's sure there won't be anymore demons falling out of the sky or crawling up from the ground. 

The feeling of Rogelan’s solid presence at her shoulder draws Isene from her desperate focus on her snack. She glances up at him, gauges the exact shade of stern worry on his face, and then raids his belt pouches for more food. He always has food. Indeed, after only a bit of rummaging she comes up with two bruised apples, a bag of mostly crushed nuts, and half of a rather squished sandwich still wrapped in wax paper. Some conversation or other is happening, but she can't make herself care about it until she's about halfway through her findings. Besides, the look on her brother’s face says they're in danger, but it's nothing urgent. The sandwich and nuts are gone by the time Isene looks up. 

“-ngerous, with or without our weapons,” Rogelan is saying. “The only thing keeping us disarmed does is put everyone at a disadvantage. There are only six of us now, we all need to be on guard.” 

Seeker Pentaghast makes a frustrated sound in the back of her throat. Then, she nods. “You are right. I have a great many questions for you, but they must wait until we are back in Haven. It seems the road will be dangerous. You should be able to defend yourselves.” 

“Thank you.” Rogelan shifts Harea’s weight to one arm so he can take his sword and return it to its sheath. “Is your soldier going to be able to keep up with us? We’ll need to move quickly.”

“Corporal? How are you feeling?” Seeker Pentaghast asks the injured shem soldier. 

“I'm alright, Seeker.” The soldier is back on her feet, though she hasn't picked up her shield again. “That healing hurt like a right bastard, but I can keep pace now. S’not far back to town. Get some proper rest when we're safe.” 

“Good.” The Seeker turns back to Rogelan. “Can your sister keep up as well?”

“I'm right here, you know,” Ise says waspishly. 

“Eat your apple,” Rogelan retorts. To the Seeker, he says, “She’ll be fine. Healing isn't her forte, but food will help with the exhaustion, and as your corporal said, we can all rest when we're safe. Let's get moving; we don't want to be here when the next round of demons arrives.” 

The group marches, double-time, up the path towards the town of Haven. Isene sends up a silent prayer to whoever happens to be listening. She prays for safe passage as far as the gates, but more than that, she prays that her cousin will wake up soon. She feels magically lopsided without Harea. Ise isn't cut out for Keeper duties.

***

Harea stands on a wide, smooth road paved with broad stone slabs of an unfamiliar pale stone. The road stretches out ahead of her nearly as far as the horizon. It buckles up over some low hills in the distance, then it splits to run in two different directions along the edge of her vision. Closer at hand, it passes through a vast military encampment. Men, dogs, and horses gather, rank upon rank of soldiery forming up into a mighty host. 

There aren't many details to be picked out at this distance—closer than the hills still isn't very close—but Harea can see a block of elven archers in rough-hewn armor that looks like it was cobbled together from scavenged pieces of enemy equipment. She sees men so tall they look like giants, towering over the diminutive elves and carrying enormous axes or hammers. There is one at the head of the host wearing rich furs and scale armor, and at his side another of those huge men wielding a tower shield. She blinks, and the shield-bearer suddenly has two spears in his chest. She blinks again, and he's gone. The commander of the host stands alone. 

Overhead, thin pale clouds scud against an overcast sky. The sun is veiled behind a pile of wispy clouds that do little to dim the light but instead diffuse it so that everything is cast in an eerie, almost-shadowless grey glare. Harea turns at the sound of a breath behind her. She finds herself standing before towering gates made from black iron, decorated with the scowling faces of metal dragons. The gates are closed, but then a sound like someone is gliding a city-sized blade over a rough whetstone begins, and the gates begin to swing open. To either side of the huge doors stand a pair of statues so large it's shocking that they don't collapse under their own unfathomable weight. 

Beside Harea, looking up at the gates, is a human woman not much older than she is herself. The woman has tan skin and hair on the blonder side of sandy, freckles, and grey-green eyes the precise shade of the clouds before a bad storm on the plains of the Dirthavaren. There is a wicked looking short blade at her side and a buckler clipped to her right gauntlet. She wears leather armor that looks finely crafted, though Harea isn't an expert on such things. The armor is scarred with the marks of battle, and her boots are muddy. This is a soldier—an experienced one, if the signs are to be believed. She glances over at Harea and smiles a sad little smile. 

“It's almost time,” she says. Her accent is hard to place. Ferelden, certainly, but maybe from farther south than Clan Lavellan ventures. Chasind or Avarr, perhaps. 

“Time for what?” Harea asks. She doesn't remember how she came to be here, but for some reason it doesn't seem important just now. 

“For my great test. And yours too, incidentally.” The woman looks back up at the slowly opening gates. In a conversational tone, she continues, “Did you know, I spent eighteen hours behind these gates? I had more than half a day to consider the forces that brought me there. I spent most of it thinking of inventive curses to wish on my husband. And my captors, and the Archon. I suppose I should've been praying, or singing, or thinking virtuous thoughts, but I was too angry. I'd been betrayed, after all.”

Harea frowns, confused. “I don't think we've been introduced. Have we?”

The woman smiles again. “Not formally, but I think you’ll be able to guess who I am in a minute or so. I certainly know you, Harea Elgadira, First of Clan Lavellan. You're a descendant of a very good friend of mine. I hope, if you do nothing else with the gift I'm going to give you, you make sure his name is restored to the Chant. The fools who removed it have heard from me too, but by that point they weren't in a place to do much about it.” 

Hearing her full name from this apparent stranger isn't as discomfiting as one might expect. Something about her pleasant, matter-of-fact voice makes Harea want to trust her. By the same gap of logic that lets her avoid wondering how she got to these black iron gates, she doesn't question the feeling of trust. 

“I'll do my best,” Harea says doubtfully, “but if you're talking about the Chant of Light, I'm afraid I don't have the power to change it.” 

“Oh, of course not. Not yet, anyway. The test comes first, and then the power. The Maker learned that one the hard way, with me. Jealousy is one of those mortal vices he didn't really understand before all this.” She sighs and looks up at the scudding clouds. The gates have opened wide enough for Harea to see through them now. Another line of soldiers, these ones in black armor with red trim, waits behind the gates. The woman stretches her neck, then rotates her left shoulder a few times, like she's warming up her arm to swing her sword. “It won't be long now. Listen, and don't interrupt. Before I have to go, there are a few things I'd like to tell you.”

Harea nods and obediently falls silent. 

“For what it's worth, I think it was a good thing that I trusted the people who betrayed me. They didn't deserve it, but I didn't know that until it was too late. I've thought about it a lot in the time since it all happened, and I’ve decided that the choice to trust them says more about me than it does about them. What kind of person would I be if I didn't trust the people closest to me? My world would be the same as the evil I was trying to destroy!” The stranger gestures towards the towering juggernauts on either side of the gate. 

“Your test is going to be long and difficult. That's why it's a good test. If you survive—which I believe you will—you'll be in a place to do a lot of good. It will be easy to give into your desire for revenge at that point, and while I endorse a little revenge here and there, you need to stay focused on that first thing; on making the world better. Your faith will be an incredible asset, but don't be afraid to question from time to time. Following blindly is a good way to get led off a cliff. 

“There are about a hundred more things I want to say to you. You're about to be thrown into the thick of things, and I know you're the perfect one for the job, but I wish I could spare you some of the hardship that's coming. But these gates are just about open, and I couldn't stop all this even if I wanted to. Here's the most important thing: there is nothing in the world that is always good. Courage can turn to foolishness, patience to paralysis, wisdom to pride, and love to control.

“In the same vein, there's very little that's always bad—barring needless cruelty and the Blight. Fear can become prudence, stubbornness becomes loyalty, impetuousness becomes decisiveness, and envy becomes a drive for self-improvement. No matter what you are told, I need you to remember that anger isn't evil. Anger can be righteous. Sometimes, the feeling that the oppressor tells you is a baseless and counterproductive rage is actually the Wrath of the downtrodden. Don't let them take that from you.” 

The gates are more than half open now. Behind them, there lies a vast city. By some trick of the light, the flat glare overhead makes its buildings look almost black. Closer, though, the vanguard of an army is ranged around a tall wooden structure. It takes Harea a few seconds of staring to place the structure, because her people don't use them. A memory surfaces. When she was a child, she’d been looking for useful herbs when she came upon a human funeral at the edge of the forest. They laid out their dead on a wooden pyre. This one is grander by far, but it's the same basic shape. Split logs laid out horizontally, placed to allow air to rush up between them and ringed with tinder sticks. 

One other difference between the funeral pyre Harea saw years ago and the one she's looking at now stands out starkly: there is an upright post at the center, wrapped in rope. 

The woman standing beside Harea puts a friendly hand on her shoulder. “I hate to leave you, but I've got to go now, and so do you. The world is a mess in your time, as it was in mine. All we can do is our best.” 

She turns Harea further towards her so that they're standing face to face for a moment, and bends her head to press a kiss to Harea’s forehead. It feels like a benediction. The last thing she says is, “Good luck.” 

Harea blinks, and she's gone. But no, there she is, tied to the post atop the pyre like she'd been there the whole time. Overhead, the clouds roil and darken as a storm rumbles ominously closer, creeping along the edge of the horizon. The host outside the gates cries out in shock and realization, and Harea gasps with them. 

Unlike her cousins, who distrusted the humans and their religion—and rightly so, for it was a group of Chantry zealots who struck down Rogelan’s father in front of him—Harea has always been curious about what the Mothers were preaching. It began as simple delight in the music. The Chant of Lights is a beautiful poem, and the choirs who raised their voices in song each morning and evening from every little village Chantry drew a younger Harea like a halla to an elfroot patch. Over the years, she's gotten bold enough to creep into the back pews and listen to the sermons. 

She can't say she believes everything the Chantry teaches, but Harea likes the idea of a Creator who can be called back by faith and song. The story of Andraste is a touching one, and it's nice to believe that something so powerful and inscrutable as a god could be moved by a mortal’s impassioned plea. She doesn't see why the Maker and the Creators can't both exist, except that the people who believe in the one hate the people who believe in the other. She knows the old stories of how that conflict came to be; she knows about Red Crossing, and the Exalted Marches, and the political backbiting in Halamshiral and Val Royeaux. Her cousins are angry, but it mostly makes Harea sad. 

All this to say that Harea, more than most Dalish, knows the Chant. She knows the human stories about the Maker and His Prophet, and the terrible fate that befell her. She realizes where she is, and who she's been talking to. 

Up there on the pyre, Andraste gazes out over the world with calm grey eyes. The archers in the host that surrounds her take aim at something out in the field and loose their arrows in a great storm that blots out the sun. A shuddering moan goes up from the army outside the walls. Many of them lay down their arms. Several Tevinter mages in ceremonial robes start pouring lamp oil on the pyre, using magic to splash it up to 

Andraste calls out in a voice that shouldn't carry as far as it does, yet somehow echoes across the plain, “Maker of the World, forgive them! They have lived too long in shadow, without Your Light to guide them! Be with Your children now, O Maker!”

A man in elaborate mage armor mounts the pyre at her side. The Tevinter army begins a slow beat, stamping their feet or clashing their weapons together, increasing in pace as their leader climbs the scaffolding. He turns to face the assembled Alamarri horde once he's reached the top. 

“Today, I end this war!" he shouts, but his words don't have the same weight as Andraste’s. When she spoke, it felt like every living being heard her words at the same instant. The Archon, for it can only be Archon Hessarian, lacks the overt gravity of the Prophet. He sounds like a man howling into a mountain blizzard, expecting to be heard despite the wind screaming around him. 

Hessarian lifts his arm high and calls fire from the air to the palm of his hand. A shuddering gasp rises from the Alamarri. The Tevinter soldiers’ beat speeds up. The clouds overhead run before a cold, rain-scented wind from the north. Thunder rumbles. 

The Archon touches the fire to the post above Andraste's head. Wood and oil ignite. The sudden fierce conflagration draws in so much air that Harea’s hair whooshes forwards around her face, and a wall of suffocating heat pushes the ranks of soldiers standing closest to the base of the pyre away. They stumble into their fellows, making the whole formation shudder. The Archon rises above the flames like a bird riding the thermals, hovering without seeming to put any effort into it. 

Both armies watch in rapt silence. The sound of distant thunder falls quiet, and the wind dies down as the world seems to hold its breath. Across the wide plain and throughout the crowded city, the only noise is the crackling of fire. Overhead, the dark clouds drift across the sun. Andraste burns, but she does not scream. 

Harea wakes up.

[yallemagne]

So, I was clued in by several references to Micheal Myers that the movie my brother was making me watch was a Halloween movie and, having never watched a single one, I went to the Wikipedia to catch up. I figured out through getting through all of the Wikipedia synopses that the film I was watching was the final one! Amazing.

Spoilers. Also, trigger warning: I hate slasher films. Not for moral reasons, so slasher nuts can put down their pitchforks. I just. Blech. But this film had a silver lining.

EDIT: I misspelt Allyson's name bc it was misspelt in the subtitles.

For a moment, at the beginning of the film, I thought maybe they were referencing Mikey as a horror movie icon, but that was not the case. I had been tricked-- HOODWINKED -- into watching a film from the Halloween series. But I couldn't walk away now!! I already sat down!!

I didn't care about the kid. Honestly the sheer amount of blood and also the weird way he fell took me out of the scene. I was half like "was this staged by the kid, too?"

Corey was already giving me vibes of an anxious teen who messed up in the past, and like this was the only chance he has to show he's a good guy, and like that was the reason he was panicking so hard in the attic? Anyway, whomp whomp. This is why you don't bully someone with anxiety in a horror film, kid.

Time skip, he gets bullied by some high schoolers and JAMIE LEE CURTIS appears to the rescue! The band kids are mean to her, so maybe they deserve-- just kidding lol. I'll call her Laurie from here on, she offers boyo a knife to fuck up the car. Wahoo.

His hand is messed up and Laurie's granddaughter is a nurse, what can go wrong? Introducing a young woman to a male main character in a horror film has neeeeeever led to predictable and blegh-y deaths ahahahah. But I was wrong in thinking she would be killed for making premarital eye contact, so that's neat.

And then someone makes premarital eye contact with Laurie and I'm like noooo oh he's gonna die too? seriously?? I don't even know this guy. But the writers did not hate me today.

Let's skip, so Corey gets thrown off a bridge because he called out someone's daddy issues and is pulled into some weird... sewer cave? I don't know what it is. I don't think Mikey did it, but I'll get to that. Corey wakes up and gets strangled by Mikey, but then he starts getting flashbacks to the worst day of his life, which I guess is symbolic of his mental break.

ONE LITTLE TANGENT. I hate how horror films villainize the mentally ill. And how apparently being mentally ill gives you superpowers. Maybe I should get evaluated just to see if I can raise a barn on my own. I know someone may scold me like "it's not black and white, there's no ableist messaging inherent to this genre, there is no war in Ba Sing Se", but you are wrong, bye.

Corey gets away but the homeless man I predicted would die jumps him and oh look. He's ~crazy~ too. But I guess he did not receive an official diagnosis because he does not come back to life after being killed. Also, I think maybe this guy is the one who dragged Corey into that place because of his obsession with Mikey, but that's minor.

Corey tells Allison he's a murderer. I was... pleasantly shocked they didn't start making out immediately. But she still stayed with him. And I wasn't fully paying attention because of my reading, but I seriously thought she knew he was doing even more murders, but apparently she... didn't? Even though they were people who inconvenienced her?

Corey meets Allison's ex and then lures him into Mikey's lair. Mikey gets knocked down and Corey yells at him to show him how to kill people. Mikey's like "okay shit" and stabs the guy a few more times than necessary just to make sure Corey understood. I was kinda cheering about boys night because that is exactly what this was.

The boys kill a doctor who was mean to Allison and the woman he's sleeping with, and I was like SERIOUSLY?? MOVIE??? I caught up in the Wikipedia and saw that apparently, the woman got a promotion because she was sleeping with him... but that's still killing a woman for having sex. Oh well. Also, the eye contact between the woman and Corey was weird, I thought, am I missing something here?? Eh.

Laurie confronts Corey, and she's so badass, and I love her so much. Tells him to back the fuck up. He refuses and tells her to go apeshit. OHHH DUDE. You do NOT WANT THAT. She literally vanished, and I was like "TOLD YOU SO BOY". I knew she wasn't gonna kill him right then, but I kept making *teleports behind you* jokes.

Since Corey is a wuss, he calls Allison up because he knows Laurie is gonna get his ass. Allison argues with Laurie that Corey isn't evil, and at this point, I genuinely thought she was gaslighting Laurie because HOW DOES SHE NOT KNOW??? But she truly didn't know that her boyfriend was JD.

Corey shows up at Mikey's hidey hole and they have a silly little tussle. It's so fucking funny. The boys are having a little wrestle! It's so silly. Corey steals Mikey's mask so he can be Mikey (his own mask wasn't cool enough) and kill a bunch of people. His stepdad is collateral damage, and I groaned so hard at his death. That man teleported into the bullet. Had to look away from the yucky ew because I don't trust my unconscious mind with gruesome imagery.

Laurie is amazing she is so cool. Corey tries to get her but she fuckin GETS HIM. She's so fucking badass I love her. Laurie is my bias.

Corey does the "if I can't have her, no one will" again and does a self-stabby to frame Laurie bc he knows he has his official diagnosis and he'll come back to life. In the meantime? Mikey has come to take his mask back. He permanently kills Corey by revoking his blessing (that's what I got from it at least) because no one kills his sister but him!!!

Laurie is fucking GREAT SHE FUCKING YES MAN. The foreshadowing of the exploding microwave and like boom man. I was cheering GET HIM LAURIE GET HIM. He tries to get rid of her hand, she says "no sir I like that hand". She gets his mask off, and he's like "nooo you know how insecure I feel without the mask >:((((". So many knives. I mean so many knives get put into this man. He can fit so many. One is in his hand and he RIPS HIS HAND IN HALF to choke her after she slit his throat. I don't know how effective choking would be with a hand that fucked up but oh well.

"Do it pussy," she says as she's getting flashbacks to every previous movie, and I'm so happy I watched none of them and just this one. It's all I need. Allison comes in and slits his wrist. I was groaning. "Come on, you think that will work? What next? Is the blood gonna start seeping back into his cuts?" But apparently bloodletting keeps him down for a while.

Cops show up, "Micheal" "He's dead" "Not dead enough", THANK YOU ALLISON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

There's this big procession of cars, everyone's there. We cut to several faces that would be familiar if I watched anything else in this series. I was like "oh my god it's just like End Game. Everyone's here and I don't care"

BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY THREW MIKEY IN THE SHREDDER!!! No fake outs, no Mikey getting up and murdering an entire town, HE WAS SHREDDED!! YESSSSSSSSSS! BEST MOVIE!!

I was a little bit in doubt. It's a slasher film, after all.

Allison tells Laurie that she believes her that Corey was bad now bc she just watched Heathers and took some notes.

There was a knock on the door or a ring of the doorbell, I don't remember, and I'm like "better not fucking be Corey, he got his privileges revoked".

It wasn't, it was Laurie's boyfriend. Oh yay. That man didn't die.

Okay. My attitude towards death in slasher films? I just like when unimportant characters aren't killed for the sake of it. It pleases me because it subverts my expectations. With films like these, you can only really trust that a character will survive if they are a murderer, which bores me. I like innocent randos living against the odds.

They cut to every room in the house, and I know that it was to show "look at all these rooms that were destroyed, now they are back to normal" but... Laurie... please move. Also I was expecting Mikey in any one of those rooms, but there was only his mask kept as a trophy, I assume. WHAT THE FUCK SHRED THAT, TOO. The continued existence of the mask is sequel bait, I know it's literally called "The End" but I have trust issues.

So? Pros? Okay, loved Corey and Mikey's relationship, it was funny. Just a couple of rowdy boys tussling in the sewer cave. Laurie is my bias. THEY SHREDDED MIKEY!!!!! YESSSSS!!!! Cons? I CAN IGNORE THEM BC THEY SHREDDED MIKEY!!!!

[kemikoko]

TW: suicidal ideals [that's like, mainly it]

omg hi I'm alive and I just got done watching Nimona, and I am in love its such a good movie<33 If you haven't seen it yet, you should totally watch it! The movie is on Netflix! But anyways, I watched it and I related a lot to this strange shape-shifting girl, so I decided I'm gonna do my take on what I thought it meant! Meaning a half-assed movie analysis. Enjoy!!

` if you haven't noticed on yet, everything below the cut has spoilers! If you haven't watched the movie yet, and do not wish to be spoiled, I would recommend to read this later! ^^

(P.S this is about the Netflix movie, I haven't really seen anything other than that!!)

onto the post!!

Okay, so, first things first. Nimona is a movie, about, Nimona who joins the villain Ballister Blackheart in his plans to destroy the over-controlling Institute. Blackheart's intent to operate under his code of ethics contrasts him with the impulsive Nimona.(thanks google) but I am not here to talk about the plot, technically. I'm here to talk about all the silly little times I related to these bozos<3.

Anyways, Nimona in one of the scenes, where she is exploring around as different animals, she meets this girl. A sweet girl who is throwing rocks and manages to throw it far enough, close to Nimona.

She goes to pick up the rock she threw, when she finally notices Nimona, hiding behind all of the bushes, and leaves. After some waiting, she places the rock in Nimona's palm smiling at her. And that is the start of a lovely friendship, between two little girls. In one of the scenes between them, blondie trys picking an apple up on a tree but fails, and Nimona notices her struggling, so she shapeshifts into a hummingbird(?) and pecks the apple off the tree. Blondie is surprised and starts backing off slowly and Nimona starts putting her head down staring at the apple sadly, until blondie puts her hand back in hers and smiles at her brightly.

Which in again starts a cute montage about them being best friends, and it's adorable! It's two children just...existing, happy with each other and having fun with Nimona's shape-shifting abilities. And then in the last part of their montage, the villagers take notice of who blondie is hanging out with and is horrified, and quickly pulls her off, leading to both girls being confused, until the villagers start calling Nimona a monster, further confusing them both. And Nimona shifts from a bear, to a girl again further leading to the villagers calling her a monster and starting to poke, and prod her with torches, pitchforks, shovels, and anything else, shouting monster at her again, and again, and again, until one of the torches a lady threw at nim, bounces off and back onto the grass starting and fire.

That scene reminded me of how some people will treat children completely differently, if they aren't like them. People will assault, and abuse anyone they don't deem right for this box, they want everyone and anyone to fit into. Ignoring the fact she is a child. A hopeless and defenseless child, someone these people probably swore to protect with their lives.

Children are fragile beings, especially Youngs ones, because their still forming. They are more prone to sickness, and other small things adults and older teens can survive easier(sometimes). Those villagers harmed a child, and manged to convince blondie (who turns out to be Gloreth) that her friend was a monster.

Do you know how many adults convince children that certain people they know are monsters? or are someone they shouldn't trust because their not like themselves? no? I don't know either, Google it.

Another scene i liked is when Nimona, got more upset over a child being more scared of her than an adult. Because nim is used to adults being scared of her, in fact she encourage it, loves it even! But when it comes to children it just hurted her more, because when you grow up with adults telling you your wrong, yeah it hearts but your used to it, but when a child, someone close to your age calls you like, weird? It kinda hurts, because your not used to it, that's not something she had to deal with. (She also has probably been isolated by herself for a while) At least that's my take on it!

^TW: SUCIDAL IDEALS^

Also I liked that almost to the end it touched on suicidal ideals, and such. because growing up being an outcast, growing up to people calling you a monster, and it never fully ending will do things to your mental health and will to live. Nimona probably grew up cold and alone. As far as I know she doesn't really have anyone, and wherever she goes, she just gets shunned or pushed to the side.

Her friend also thought she was betraying him, and that also kinda fuckin' sucks ass man.

Also I like how through the whole movie Ballister slowly grows more and more fond of this girl, and starts asking less and less questions, proving that yes, he is very fond for this random kid who showed up on his doorstep.

—

anyways that is all of my brain juice I have ran out, send help please. thank you for reading all of the nonsense and have a goodnight, im going to sleep. :))

[justatinybunwriting]

Mirror

Prompt 8 of this promptober list!

Synopsis: As Richard and Jac are trying to open a portal that would lead to home, a man hired by a wicked queen approaches Jac.

Notes: The first part of this story takes place in the Fairy World Detective AU!

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

In an instant, the fairy behind the glass appeared before the wicked queen and replied with a cocky grin.

"Hate to break the news to ya lady, but there's a new gal in town that goes by the name of Jac."

The queen was infuriated and tossed her bubbling drink onto the mirror, barely missing it.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO SNOW WHITE?!"

"Well, she met up with her sister Red Rose and is now in a cabin with a bear I believe. So she's no longer in this fairy kingdom, ma'am."

"Good. That bear will take care of her. But WHO IS THIS INBECILE JACK?"

"Beats me. She just came out of nowhere, like poof! And she was there."

"WHERE IS THAT GOOD FOR NOTHING ASSASSIN?!"

Meanwhile, Jac and her giant friend Richard were stuck in a crossroad, both literally and figuratively.

"Cheeze brought us through the wrong wormhole again!" Jac fumed. "This is definitely not Never Never Land!"

"Never trust a rabbit to do a fae's job." Richard replied as he held a shining crystal in his hands. "Don't worry, I'm on it. If I can just get this artifact to work I can open the Tunnel of Chaos again so we can get back to headquarters and start over."

"Or we could try to find the right checkpoint ourselves and head over there straight away from the tunnel."

"Jac, we discussed this. The last time we did that we wounded up switching sizes. I'm not going to take that risk again."

"But I liked being big.." Jac pouted as she folded her arms.

Just then, a rugged man wielding a knife walked up to Jac from behind. She whipped around as soon as she noticed him; the sight of the weapon in his hand caused all the hairs on her neck to stand. She was about to do a quick draw of her taser when the stranger backed up and held back his blade. He had a sorrowful look in his eyes.

"Oh, oh... no, you're pretty." He uttered.

"What?!" Was Jac's angered response.

"I'm sorry. I was hired to kill you. But once again I cannot. I am a weak man."

"WHA?!"

At that very moment, the man was suddenly plucked up by the rim of his coat and was just as quickly brought up to the giant's face. The assassin was flabbergasted by how he failed to notice this titan before and flailed about wildly.

"What do you want me to do with him, Jac?" Richard bellowed in an almost beastly manner.

"Please!! Mister giant!! Don't eat me!!" The assassin pleaded.

"No? Why would I want to do that? You look disgusting. I was thinking more like... how about I throw you over the horizon? That sounds like it would be fun, wouldn't you agree?"

"Richard!! Put him down!!" Jac was folding her arms and thumped her foot. The giant then turned his head and looked upon her with a fake pout.

"Why don't you want me to mess with him? He did just try to kill you after all."

"I think I know which story we're in! We're not supposed to screw around with it remember? Just fix the messes that the Time Warper has made, remember?!"

"All right, all right..." Richard then turned his attention back to the shivering man in his grasp. "You promise you won't tell anyone else about this?"

"OF COURSE OF COURSE! I SWEAR BY THE QUEEN'S NAME!!"

"O-kay."

The Wile giant then sat the man down roughly on the grass. He then lowered himself and looked at him straight in the eyes before returning with a growling voice.

"Now BEAT IT before I change my mind."

The man did a complete 180 and made a beeline for the hills, all while he wailed hysterically like a madman. Richard got up to his full height and brushed the dirt off his hands.

"He won't keep his word. We better get outta here before all the King's horses and all the King's men come after us with pitchforks."

"The usual." Jac raised her arms.

Not long after, after reciting the spell for the umpteenth time, at last the crystal in Richard's hands lit up a bright blue and a portal started to form right in front of the two. At that exact time, they heard the telltale hollers of an angry mob in the far distance, so the interdimensional tunnel couldn't have come at a better time.

As what was normally the case, the hole was only big enough for a human to pass through, though that wouldn't be a problem for Richard. Shrinking down to human height is a necessary evil (in his mind) when the situation called for it. Taking Jac by the hand, the two of them jumped in at once, and were pulled in just as the wormhole was about to close behind them.

.....

Jac had awoken underneath Richard's hand. The Wile giant had propped her against his chest, and he was apparently startled awake about the same time as she was.

"I... had that weird dream again..." Jac said groggily as she wiped the crust off of her eyes.

"Which one...?" Richard asked with a yawn.

"That I was a fairy world detective. And you were there, and helping me out with solving mysteries in fairy land..."

"You've been watching too many cartoons."

"Maybe."

The start of the morning was quiet, as neither of them had work that day. So they were free to prep in their own leisure. Jac had gone to freshen up in the human sized restroom, with the bits and pieces of what she remembered of her dreams still stirring up her thoughts.

As she brushed her hair, she noticed a small green dot on the mirror. She couldn't figure out where it came from or what it was exactly, but one thing was for certain: it was gross and it needed to go. She was just about to pull out a paper towel in order to wipe the blotch out, when it suddenly moved.

Jac froze in place as the little green figure fluttered about; it held it's hands over it's face with what appeared to be a snicker, before at last it flew out of the frame. Jac immediately turned around, but saw nothing behind her. It was too late anyway since the little thing was too fast for her to follow.

She could have sworn that it was the very same fairy that she saw behind the magic mirror in her dream.

For a few moments thereafter she became lost in a sea of what ifs. Eventually, after the initial shock had weathered down, Jac figured that she was still drowsy from the restless sleep she had the night before. She was still pretty tired, so it wasn't unusual for her to let her imagination wander during these times. So with that, Jac decided to not ponder about it any further, as she continued on as usual with the rest of her day.

She never did see that green fairy again, so she was pretty certain it was all in her head. Maybe.