#And to confront the latter we have to remove the former

[attractive-nuisance-esq]

Ed’s journey this season is going to perfectly mirror addiction and recovery, and I am so fucking here for it. Watching these first three episodes of S2 was like watching a highly dramatized AU of my own descent into rock bottom (except everyone was dressed wayyyyyy cooler than I ever was), so I have a lot of thoughts, reactions, and insights that I want to share with other fans. I’m sure many of us who have struggled with our mental health connected with Ed in these episodes, but I think addiction is the most appropriate lens through which to view him because addicts (more often than people who struggle with other mental illnesses) so wholly destroy their own lives and utterly devastate those of their loved ones. I want to share - from the perspective of someone who has steered her own ship straight into a storm and woke up alone to face some very hard choices - what is going on with Ed at the start of this season and what I think is coming.

Let me start by saying that Ed isn’t literally addicted to any one thing, despite his heavy use of drugs and alcohol, but his goal is the same as that of all addicts: escape. He does not want to sit with the pain of Stede leaving him on an immediate, surface level; on a deeper, more habitual level, he doesn’t want to sit with the pain of his own self-loathing. Of course the two are related: the former brings the latter to a head. Stede abandoning him dredges up and brightly illuminates all of his insecurities, and now Ed has to run. Get out. Escape. Don’t think about it. So he is fighting, stealing, drinking, snorting, shooting, killing - whatever it takes to not think about it.

“Demon? I’m the fuckin’ devil.” People in recovery often talk about addiction as if it were a separate, sentient monster living within them. Ed taking on the mantle of demon - a creature known specifically for possession, for removing the host’s free will - is intentional. So is his insistence that he’s not just any demon but the demon. The worst there is. (More on that when we get to The Innkeeper.)

Izzy’s confrontation of Ed in the captain’s cabin and then on deck is a form of intervention. Izzy is trying to help Ed, but of course this goes terribly for him and for Ed because interventions (I cannot stress this enough) are maybe the worst thing you could do to an addict. All addicts know things are bad, but they cannot be pushed to change one single second before they’re ready. Ed knows things are bad. He’s well-aware of how he’s spending his time, how his crew feels about him, how disappointed Izzy is. Being confronted with all of those truths by Izzy was always only going to make him do two things: 1) dig further into his unhealthy coping mechanisms, never mind that they don’t have nearly the effect that they used to; and 2) lash out at the person who forced him to think about it. Izzy lost his leg the moment he stepped into Ed’s cabin.

The impossible bird. You guys remember the song Chandelier by Sia? The one about her addiction to alcohol? The whole thing may as well come right out of Ed’s mouth at the end of that first episode, because that experience is exactly what he’s trying to convey to Frenchie. Nevermind that Frenchie has the temerity to tell him the bird can’t exist, that it has to come down sometime, that flying forever isn’t sustainable. The bird can come down on its own terms, or crash… but Frenchie’s definitely not going to say that much. Still, “that sounds like something that can’t exist” hits Ed, and leads us to the next episode.

Now we’ve got Ed forlorn, heartbroken, almost catatonic while playing with his cake toppers. We don’t actually see him crying in the opening of the episode, which is the point. He’s done crying now. The impossible bird can’t exist, and Ed has already resigned himself to this. He’s decided to die. The only sure-fire permanent way to not think about it.

When next we see Ed, he seems to be doing better, but this is a huge red flag for anyone who knows to look. He’s giving away his responsibility to Frenchie; he’s cleaning the cabin for the closure. He knows the end is coming fast, and the relief that knowledge brings him leaves him weirdly at peace. It is he eeriest part of these episodes, IMO.

Then he goes to find his first mate, the person who knows him better than anyone else in the world, the man he just fucking shot and ordered killed. Ed needs his low opinion of himself validated, and of course he thinks he’ll get it from Izzy after everything he’s done to him. He wants the one person who has stuck with him through everything to confirm that he’s now irretrievably broken and no longer worthy of his love. Ed wants someone to tell him that he’s right: he should die.

He doesn’t get that from Izzy. Interestingly, Izzy doesn’t tell him he should die. He says “Clean up your own mess.” Izzy has learned the lesson now that Ed isn’t ready to get better and that he can’t make him be ready. (This post isn’t about Izzy, but hoo boy - I have big feels about that man.)

Ed has been indulging in various forms of self-destruction in order to not feel his feelings, and steering the ship into the storm is his worst indulgence yet. This is the worst of his crimes - not beheading or arson or a red wedding. It’s when he tries to bring down everyone who has ever loved him into his misery, into believing what he believes. The audience generally (and Ed’s audience of Stede specifically) can forgive him for hurting strangers and for the non-specific mayhem whose victims we’ve never met; but it is much less certain that anyone will forgive him for hurting the only family he’s ever known.

The storm itself is the perfect metaphor for Ed’s attempt on his and, incidentally, everyone else’s lives. One of the most common metaphors used by friends and family members of addicts is that of a hurricane: that their addicted loved-ones tend to destroy everything they touch, anyone who was foolish or brave enough to stick around. And, like hurricanes, addicts aren’t malicious. Ed’s primary goal here is to get himself killed, not to kill everyone else. He wants the ship to go down so his death is certain. His firing a cannonball into the mast and asking Jim and Archie to fight to the death isn’t malice: it’s utter and complete nihilism. Nothing matters anymore. Nothing and no one. The end is near, and he’s so fucking drunk and high off these distractions that he couldn’t think about it if he tried. He’s manic with relief. (See also: “Finally.”)

And now for the finale: Purgatory. Buckle up, because this is where the addiction analogy gets real *chef’s kiss.* Purgatory is the equivalent of the morning after the worst, most rock bottom binge night of your life. You wake up with no one for company but the ghosts of your former selves. Now what?

Well, first - who is Hornigold to Ed? Why is he the guy Ed sees? It’s because Hornigold is another addict, if you will, but one who is (in this Purgatory hallucination) farther along in his recovery. He can impart some wisdom from that place, but he can also stand in as someone Ed can loathe because they’re not as different as Ed once thought, even if Hornigold can say he’s grown.

Hornigold tries to give him soup. He tells Ed, “Gotta get these nutrients into you,” and then literally shoves soup down his throat. That’s what it’s like in rock bottom. You don’t want to take care of yourself, but some lizard brain survival instinct takes over and makes you drink water, eat a piece of fruit, take yourself to the hospital. These things don’t really happen voluntarily that morning after, but you can still count on that instinct to kick in with some damage control.

Ed telling Hornigold how he “got here.” Hornigold says “Mutiny. It’s always mutiny.” Ed insists his mutiny was special, worse somehow. This whole scene is exactly what happens in your first recovery support group meeting. You go in thinking no one has ever been as fucked and fucked up as you are, which makes you feel isolated and alone. But then you get there and everyone else in the circle has done the same shit, been through the same shit. Ed’s not actually the devil; he’s just another demon, like many demons before him.

Ed worries he’s insane when he reflects on everything he’s done. Hornigold’s reply that “Feeling bad isn’t going to rebuild an abdominal wall” is a concept that people usually learn a little bit later in recovery, so I expect we’ll see more on this theme from Ed. Guilt is a useless emotion that only serves to conversely make the addict feel better but doesn’t help the harmed party: the addict feels like their suffering is cleansing, but it’s not - feeling guilt is just more self-indulgence, more self-destruction. Hornigold - a fellow addict in this moment - is trying to get this lesson to him early. It’ll return.

“You’ve got to move on or blow your brains out.” We’re getting back to Purgatory as the metaphor for the morning-after rock bottom, because this is the exact calculation that every person in recovery has done. They all had to answer that one big question. Your whole life is a mess, and you made the mess. Do you want to clean it up? Or quit? (Or make some soup? Yeah. That big question can’t be answered without basic needs having been met. So let’s eat. Let’s start there. It’s easier.)

Now we have Ed’s fantasy about opening an inn: This is also a common part of the morning-after rock bottom. You start thinking about the wrong turns you took, the mistakes you made, the way your life was supposed to go and all the reasons you’re not where you wanted to be. (And all the people you can blame for the fact that your life didn’t go as planned.) And when that honest part of yourself starts telling you that actually it’s all your fault… well, a) you don’t wanna hear it, and b) you can’t silence (kill) that monster, no matter how hard you try. You’ve got to face it. Face all those truths you’ve been running from for years. Now you have to think about it.

So now the big question, the inevitable math. Hornigold suggests looking at the pros and the cons. That’s the easiest way to break the calculation into manageable variables. This is probably my favorite moment of the episode, because when you’re sitting there, morning after the worst night of your life, everything is fucked - these are the exact variables that go into your equation. Do I really want to live? You ask yourself that, and because your life is in fucking shambles, you come up with the stupidest goddamn reasons to keep going. You wanna see the next seasons of Good Omens and Loki. You wanna eat your mom’s spaghetti again. Sometimes it’s nice when someone hugs you. It’s never the big things that save your life; it’s a bunch of the littlest things. The smallest comforts. The big things… they’re too unattainable. They’re too much to hope for, and they’re more than you could possibly deserve. What are the pros of living for Ed? Warmth, good food, orgasms. This is a stunningly accurate representation of the things that will keep you alive once you’ve hit rock bottom.

And then the cons: “I don’t think anyone is waiting for me.” This is why addiction is the better metaphor. There is no human experience more isolating than addiction. You are alone in more ways than you’ve ever been before. You have pushed away or pissed off everyone who ever cared about you. And even the ones who will maybe still be there for you - they can’t help you clean up the mess you’ve made. You have to do the work alone, even if they’re still willing to stand next to you. And this con… it’s the scariest one. Your list of little pros looks so pathetic next to the horror of being utterly fucking alone. Who is going to brave that for some stupid shit like Tom Hiddleston sexily flipping his hair back in that Loki way he does? Why should Ed carry on just because blankets are cozy and marmalade is pleasant?

This is where we get to the moment on the mountain, and what Stede represents. Hornigold tells Ed “You’re unlovable, and you’re afraid to do anything about it.” Ed could do two things about being unlovable: He could try to fix it, or he could end it all. Hornigold represents the worst part of Ed: his weaknesses and cowardice. And if Hornigold is in the driver’s seat, he’s going to end it all. He throws the rock off the cliff, and Ed gets dragged down into the water to drown. (Let’s also talk later about how often addiction is compared to drowning, and how nothing else in the show actually threatened Ed’s life - not Izzy with a gun, not all the rhino horn, not Jim’s cannonball - like drowning in his own mind.)

But then there’s Stede. Stede is how the pros win over that one big, horrifying con. Stede is hope. Stede is just a glimmer of hope. Hope is the most important thing you need in the morning-after rock bottom. As much as I enjoy the idea that it was love that saved Ed, I don’t think that’s a wholly faithful interpretation. Because Stede’s love for Ed doesn’t solve anything, doesn’t fix anything - it certainly doesn’t fix Ed. It cannot fix Ed. Hornigold just told Ed that he’s the one who has to “do something about it,” because Ed is the only one who can save himself. But even if Stede’s love for him in itself isn’t what saves Ed, Ed’s trust in Stede combined with that love gives him hope. Stede loves Ed, truly loves him, came back to him even though he knows Ed’s nature, knows his list of crimes, knows what he’s done to Stede’s friends and family. And maybe Ed can find in himself what he trusts Stede truly sees. It’s a “maybe,” not a certainty. But it’s hope. Someone loves him. Maybe he can love himself, too.

This Woman’s Work: I read this song as referring more appropriately to Ed’s relationship with himself, in no small part because Ed literally made himself the woman in the cake topper couple. All the things that should have been done, should have been said - they’re things Ed needs to do and say to himself. He’s got a little life and a lot of strength left. The journey has just begun.

I want to pop back quickly to a few other moments in The Innkeeper that resonated, starting with Stede and Izzy’s discussion about what happened to Ed: “He went mad. He was a wild dog.” Izzy describes Ed’s breakdown as if he was no longer the same person he once was; this is exactly what addiction does to a person. Ed hasn’t been himself; he’s been held hostage by his need for escape, and he’s become something else. Possessed, if you will.

Izzy: “You and me did this to him, and we can’t let the crew suffer any more for our mistakes.” I’m not writing an essay on Izzy (yet), but this is a very interesting perspective that says a lot about Izzy. Stede and Izzy both owe apologies to Ed, but they are not responsible for his actions. I predict we’re going to see this theme explored in later episodes as a part of Ed’s healing process and recovery. And also hopefully in Izzy’s growth.

Frenchie’s line that “We’ve been living second-to-second for a while now” is a callback to the impossible bird idea. Which, again, is just Chandelier x Sia. “I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down, won’t open my eyes, keep my glass full until morning light ‘cause I’m just holding on for tonight.”

So what’s next? For me, it was learning to sit alone in a quiet room with my thoughts. It was apologizing to the ones I hurt, because even if I didn’t mean to hurt them - even if I was suffering also and worse - they still got hurt, and in the end it didn’t matter why. It was developing the habit of liking myself, and acting on whatever self-love and affection I could conjure up. And yes… it was new seasons of Good Omens and Loki, my mom’s spaghetti, and hugs.

So I think Ed has a lot of accountability, reflection, and breaking of old habits in his future… but also warmth, good food, and orgasms. And good for him. That’s the beauty of recovery: we get to come back.

[gofancyninjaworld]

Webcomic Chapter 143 Review

Fetch yourself a cup of tea or beverage of choice: this is a long one.

Story Summary

In brief, we are staying with the scenes of the last chapter, and have moved our viewpoint to take in the responses of various heroes from the two organisations as they try to deal with the influx of killer robots as the latter scythe down civilians and pulverise buildings.

Straight away, we see very different fates play out. Lightning Max cautiously sizes up a single robot and tries to work out who best to tackle one that shrugs off his blows nonchalantly, but soon a sea of robots approach, driving before them a wave of panicked civilians. Max's feet are shot out from under him and he is surely at the end as a robot takes aim at him, but...

No lie, when I first saw these panels I felt so ill I had to stop reading for a few minutes

... the shot is absorbed by an armoured figure and Mumen Rider -- no Neo Mumen now -- protects him. He carries Max off to safety.

Around the various locals, it is a similar story of pro-heroes struggling to make headway against the robots, only to find Neo Heroes sweep in to make short work of them. Even former pro-heroes (we met this lot suffering in chapter 138) who've taken up with the Neo Heroes are finding it easy.

Who needs courage or skill when you've got tech?

The situation reaches its apogee with Tank Top Master. He finds it easy enough to destroy the robots, but is prevented from ploughing through them by needing to defend his comrades who were felled after mistaking approaching figures for escaping civilians. He's desperate to fight back but moving means abandoning his comrades to die.

what a bind!

Relief arrives in the form of the Neo Hero Hunter group, but with it comes real ugliness. The Hunters start mincing up the robots and are hailed as the true heroes of the day by the present civilians. Fair enough, however, when Tank Top Master asks for help moving his comrades to safety so he can join the offence, only to be so rudely rebuffed the man is left stunned into silence.

Tank Top Master is really too nice

The chapter closes with Axel's thoughts as he and his team destroy the robots. He sees this as the start of a society kept safe from monsters by universally-worn power armour from the Neo Heroes. If the world has changed, then so must mankind.

And he will permit no one to stand in the way of this vision.

Oh. Dear.

Much more below the cut!

Meta: Roundup Ready

A: So this is how you kill an organisation

Unless something big and wonderful happens, today is the day the Hero Association dies. Its destruction has been as systematic as watching a once well-unionised trade be dismantled.

The Neo-Heroes didn't do it all on their own. They've been aided by a press that has highlighted every scandal and flow of the Hero Association (ably aided by data breaches -- cough McCoy cough) while fawning uncritically over the Neo Heroes. The government has been persuaded to dilute the Hero Association's position by giving the Neo Heroes the same rights once only entrusted to the HA.

They have then stolen away sponsors and enticed away pro-heroes with lavish salaries, equipment, free housing, and even clothing and food. They've run a slick public relations campaign the HA can't hope to match and have stolen public approbation from the HA.

And then they've gone a lot further. At some plausible remove, someone has been systematically unleashing cybernetically-enhanced monsters (and now robots) onto the populace. These threats have been marked by their ferocity and destructiveness when faced by pro-heroes, and their willingness to lie down and die when confronted by Neo Heroes, making even inexperienced fighters feel powerful and leaving an impression on the public. [1]

RoundUp Ready is the Monsanto trademark for its patented line of genetically modified crop seeds that are resistant to its glyphosate-based herbicide, Roundup. By deploying a cybernetically-enhanced campaign of terror, pro-heroes are being culled like weeds [2].

It is no accident at all that the three S-Class heroes who succeeded in defeating the dragon-level threats sent simultaneously to several cities, Tatsumaki, Flashy Flash, and Genos, are precisely the heroes sent on special missions when they are most needed on the front lines.

In Genos's case, he's been sent on the sort of mission designed to finish off whatever lingering credibility the Hero Association has. At the very best, deadly infighting is a foul look on any organization. At the worst, his destroying Metal Knight's arsenal (and maybe Bofoi too) will remove the only source of systematic mass defense the Hero Association has. No matter how things turn out between Genos and Metal Knight, only the Organization wins.

This is how the bad guys win. There are more ways to defeat a hero than engaging them in head-on combat. [3] The bad guys don't care in the slightest about the value of the human lives they've destroyed to achieve this. For Tumblr readers, I've spoken about it here.

B: Brave New Techno World

On the one level, a conflict like the one between the Hero Association and the Neo Heroes was always going to come. We've learned that monsters have long been part of the Earth, and so long as humans aren't being excessive, they're happy not to attack humanity.

In a world where monster attacks were sporadic, the Hero Association, with its emphasis on finding and supporting exceptional individuals to be heroes, was a brilliant innovation. In a world where monster attacks have become endemic, there was always going to be pressure to move away from dedicated amateurs to a more standardized, professional response.

However, as we've seen, the magnitude of the threat has been artificially worsened. Also, as we've noticed, the ultimate goal of the founder of the Neo Heroes, Mr Fuzzy, is control.

World Dominion: an oldie but goodie. And damn is he being clever about it.

Once the actual heroes are gone, with the politicians and businesses bought, there's little preventing the Neo Heroes (or more precisely, the powers behind them) from becoming an oppressive force keeping the populace in line.

Any protests from within can be silenced by cyborgization. Any protests from without... Ah, remember when Raiden tried to take in Puri Puri and his men for forcible thought correction? Remember the stupid people cheering the prospect?

This is the note-perfect way to introduce unjust laws: inflict them first on those society does not respect, not thinking that laws apply to *everyone*, not just the ones we don't like. There will be no wrong thought in this brave new world.

All the bits are in place: the satellite surveillance, the instruments of terror, the legal right to act with impunity, the conspiracy of other powerful organisations working in the shadows.

It'll be a brave new world all right. You may be alive and tech-savvy, but you won't be free. And you'll like it.

Or else.

The only question is: How is our titular hero going to deal with this? Against an evil that seemingly has no form? I guess we'll have to pray ONE is minded to give us more soon!

Asides

[1] We see what happens when the Neo Heroes face non-nobbled opposition. It often doesn't go well, not even against regular monsters:

[2] This development puts a much more sinister cast on the delegation that sought Mumen Rider to press on him a specially-modified Neo suit. It's as if they knew the cull was coming.

[3] Yes, there are wildcards such as Saitama, Garou, and even Sonic, but the enemy knows something that the Hero Association understands well: without credibility, a hero is just a weirdo ranting in the street no matter how strong they are. A discredited hero is no threat.

[liminalweirdo]

[transcript:]

I have yet to read a rebuttal of the comparison between HIV and COVID that doesn't ultimately, eventually, boil down to the same eugenics that ACT UP were ironically acting up against. If you missed it, my name is Themme Fatale and a while ago I made some posts talking about some of the similarities both medically and socially between HIV AIDS, and COVID and Long COVID.

These comparisons are supported by empirically reviewed studies by virologists, epidemiologists, HIV experts, and even ACT UP themselves. But it doesn't stop 20-something year-old angry white twinks from getting in my inbox every so often about it.

Now the common point of anger is this idea that, like, "You can't compare gay people dying then, and disabled people dying now because the former was politically motivated."

And the latter is... what?

What is it? I want you to actually say it out loud.

What is the choice to remove protections because it's "just" disabled people dying, if not political? What is the phrase, "The vulnerable will fall by the wayside," if not political? Because it sounds like it feels less political to you because on some level you kind of agree with it.

And look, if this is you, I am begging you to just say the quiet part out loud. Just own the fact that you're into eugenics so I can stop wasting my time.

Because I spend a lot of time trying to educate people, because I believe in the fundamental goodness of humanity, particularly within queer communities. I think that we've done this before and we can do it again. We have laid a roadmap for care that we could be demonstrating and implementing right now, but instead it feels like we're failing an open book exam.

So I'm going to keep calling upon these histories to highlight how we could be doing better. That's how comparisons work, right? You take an idea that people understand and you apply it to a new situation so that people can better understand that one.

Now, I can understand the comparison between HIV AIDS, and COVID and long COVID being a confronting one. That makes sense, we're in a confronting situation. We've been steeped in denial as a society for years now. We've been repeatedly told not to worry about it. "The deaths don't matter, that's happening to this other group, not you. So why worry?"

And now here I am comparing it to one of the most traumatic events in our community's histories. Of course that's going to feel like a lot. If you've swallowed the idea that COVID doesn't matter, and then you hear me comparing this situation now to the AIDS crisis, it's going to sound like I'm saying the AIDS crisis didn't matter. But it's literally the opposite of that.

The AIDS crisis was the result of horrific and unacceptable eugenics that led society to dismiss the avoidable deaths of countless vulnerable people. People whose lives mattered, but who were made vulnerable by callous bigotry. That is what I'm saying here. That the way that we are currently allowing people to die and be disabled by COVID and long COVID — the result of horrific and unacceptable eugenics — that is leading society to dismiss the avoidable deaths of countless vulnerable people. People whose lives matter, but who are being made vulnerable by society's callous bigotry.

It was homophobia then, it's ableism now.

And the only way that that part of the comparison doesn't fit is if you don't truly believe that disabled people's lives matter.

And look, it's one thing if you didn't know it was this bad, a lot of people don't, and I'm really sorry you had to hear it from me. We've all been stepped in ongoing policies of denial, but I am begging you at this point to take some time to actually listen to disabled people on this one. It might just save your life.

And if you're looking for practical things that you can do, support your local clean air organization. These are popping up all over the world, including here in Naarm; providing access to clean air infrastructure for gigs, queer spaces, you name it.

The idea of this comparison is not supposed to be a depressing one, it's supposed to inspire change. If you're proud of our history, now's the time for you to be part of it in the present.

It was demonstrated then, and it's demonstrated now. We are all we have, but thankfully, we are all we need. We just need to act like it.

[end transcript]

source

if you're looking for another practical thing you can do right now, wear a mask in public indoor spaces and crowded outdoor spaces. Masking is community care.

[notnahberrie]

So the show has established that Vecna was the one who created the Mind Flayer based on his fascination with spiders.

Just hoping now that we get an explanation as to why he was targeting Will primarily in seasons 1 & 2, especially the first one when Will somehow managed to survive in the Upside Down.

I know there are multiple theories floating around as to how he did it, a few being:

Will has powers Honestly a 50-50, but at this point, I doubt so because S5 seems a bit late to suddenly announce another kid has powers...

Will was just good at hiding More possible than no. 1 really, because our boy has had almost zero action scenes showcasing any sort of badassery since S2... correct me if I'm wrong! Seriously, I would love to be wrong.

Will and Vecna have a psychic connection Thinking about the parallels between Vecna and Will... COULD THERE be an intended link between them? I mean, I wrote in my other ST post that Will could have shaped the upside down... since Vecna likely would have no idea what Hawkins looked like after he was taken in by Papa Bad Touch, plus the scene where Nancy noticed the date in the UD was frozen on the day Will went missing. A super important scene, I am 100% convinced. BUT WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN???

Well, going off the third point, I believe Will was originally intended to be a spy for Vecna like Mike deduced in S2. And Will was originally meant to die once the link was severed, but didn't because Joyce, Jonathan, and Nancy were awesome and expelled the literal demon from within him

So what is Vecna going to do with Will now? Hmm, a spy that can't spy anymore isn't of much use, but wait...

Will still has his 'Vecna senses' right? He can sense whenever Vecna is coming or is here. Doesn't that sound like an incredibly frustrating liability to have, considering how Eleven has now gotten stronger?

What do you think Vecna is going to do to ensure this 'weakness' is removed?

In my opinion, it is going to boil down to Vecna either choosing to convert Will into one of his soldiers by taking over his mind or transforming him into something grotesque... hopefully the former because the latter pains me to think about.

Also my Byler shipper two cents but Mike finding out about Will's lie in the van and confronting him, the truth about Will's feelings coming out, and obviously S4 MIKE WOULD NOT DEAL WELL BC HE HAS BEEN SUCH A POODOO SO FAR –– so Will gets emotionally traumatized and the negative emotions allow him to get possessed.

Everyone is going to be in danger during S5 but Will... Will is going to be the catalyst for something BIG to shift the tides. As many wise theorists on here have said, it started with and ends with Will!

[dykemisspiggy]

a wlw remake of leap year would be sO GOOD I must ask what other wlw remakes are you considering

Hiii!!! You have just given me an opportunity to ramble about my two favourite things combined (rom coms and being gay) so strap in you're getting the manifesto lol

Penelope (2006)

It just makes sense

The themes are literally self acceptance and self love!!!

It's my wlw remakes I get to choose who's gay

French Kiss (1995)

Not a lot of people know this one and the actual film is not great but the bones are there!!

In this one a woman travels to France to confront her fiancé who has left her for a woman he met there

She meets a French guy when she gets there who is going to help her get her man back but then they fall in love (oversimplified but yeah)

NOW IMAGINE IF THEY WERE BOTH WOMEN*

Like???? Woman* helps other woman* to understand how she can make him love her again, falls in love with her instead - transcendant

Also it could be drastically improved by casting a French actor to play the love interest (Kevin Kline ily but your French is just a bit too American)

Falling Inn Love

Another absolutely trash rom com - American woman gets cheated on and loses her job, drunkenly enters a contest to win an inn in New Zealand, wins, finds it needs a lot of work, falls in love with small town NZ and also the hunky handyman helping her fix the place up.

We as queers deserve trash rom coms

Also this one would be incredibly easy to flip, all you have to do is change handyman to not a man and we're good

OPPORTUNITY TO SEE BUTCH LADY* USE MUSCLES

You've Got Mail (1998)/Shop Around the Corner (1940)

These are 2 for 1 because the former was inspired by the latter

This one is an obvious candidate for a wlw remake imo

Maybe I'm just a slut for a slow(ish) burn, love being right under your nose, and rivals to lovers but there's just something so beautiful about watching two people choose to love each other. Now imagine if they were wlw 🤯

The Wedding Planner (2001)

Again an absolutely trash film but we deserve mindless mush goddammit

I just think this had the possibility to be a better film given a few tweaks

First of which being the removal of the white saviour elements

I always loved the way this movie dealt with the bride and groom's break up, it's a very mature conversation in which they both decide they're getting married for all the wrong reasons and value each other much more as friends which would be nice to see in a wlw context

As I'm envisioning this narrative between 2 wlw of colour this would probably be done best by someone who is not me

Just Wright (2010)

This is another one which would best be made by someone else

But with how much we've been enjoying watching the women's euros and the commonwealth games (women doing amazing things 😳) I think we're due a sports wlw rom com

This movie is gorgeous tho, I recommend romance fans to watch it if you haven't already

First Daughter (2004)/Chasing Liberty (2004)

These are together because they are the same movie

WLW DESERVE TURN YOUR BRAIN IN AT THE DOOR ENTERTAINMENT

I reckon in the wake of Happiest Season, this would be the easiest to get made

The premise is not too challenging to the more conservative of the world but just subversive enough for the studios to feel rebellious

It's a wlw brain-rotting movie for people who don't like Christmas

Opportunity to see women* in suits what more could you want?

Sorry it took me so long to get round to this but I saw your ask and my brain promptly deleted every film I had ever seen in my life 😂

*None of the characters necessarily have to be women, the time has come for non-binary romantic leads.

[mastermover345]

Organisations Registered With The Town Of Cape Town From 10

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[generalhomeblog]

Guide to Purchasing the Best Toilet Bowl in Singapore

Latrine bowls may not be the most interesting bathroom accessories, but they are one of the more important parts of your bathroom. Whether you want to replace your present WC or get a brand-new one, we have built up a quick guide to assist in directing you in the right direction.

Things to Think About Before Buying a Toilet Bowl

1. Latrine bowl varieties

There are several different types of latrine bowls. In Singapore, these are the most well-known:

Water tank with an exposed reservoir

Close-coupled/two-piece - Because the latrine bowl and tank are two separate parts that are connected together via fittings, the term "close-coupled" is used.

One-piece - The latrine tank and bowl are a single, unified component. These are renowned for being straightforward to clean.

Latrine bowls with backs that are directly attached to the divider are referred to as "back-to-divider" bowls.

Concealed water tank or reservoir

Divider hung: The latrine bowl is hanging above the ground. needs an additional dividing outline backing for secure hanging.

Divider confronted: This type of latrine bowl is installed up against the divider and the floor.

In comparison to the neighboring paired and one-piece, the latter is favored for its streamlined and faultless design and ease of cleaning, while the former enables you to replace either the tank or the toilet bowl separately without replacing the entire water storage area.

2. Type of trap (S-trap or P-trap)

In Singapore, S-traps and P-traps are the two main forms of traps. The majority of HDB mortgage holders use an S-trap latrine bowl that connects it to the floor since the waste exit is typically located on the floor in HDB pads. The waste power source is located on the divider, and P-trap latrine bowls, also known as divider hung latrine bowls, connect to it.

3. Estimations

If your waste outlet (S-trap) is located on the floor, you should measure the distance from the center of the seepage power source on the floor to the divider (Y) to make sure your new latrine bowl will actually fit.

If the waste power source for your seepage is mounted on the divider (P-trap), measure the distance between its focal point and the ground (X). When you remove your current latrine bowl and reveal the seepage outlet, estimates can be made efficiently and accurately.

4. Efficiency of water use and flushing system

Pick a latrine bowl with more ticks, as determined by the PUB's Water Efficiency Labeling and Standard (WELS) plot, to help reduce the amount of water used in your home.

5. Cleaning and comfort

If you find a latrine bowl at a physical store, don't be hesitant to pick it up and make sure you like the size, shape, and stature of the bowl relative to the WC. If you have knee pain or, alternatively, if you have elderly family members at home, think about choosing a greater bowl height.

Latrine bowls are thought to be the most often used restroom equipment, despite the fact that you probably wouldn't notice it. So, before purchasing a toilet bowl singapore, carefully consider a few factors. You might ask for assistance in getting to the location where you want to buy.

[mariacallous]

Late last month, Albanian Prime Minister Edi Rama paid a high-profile three-day visit to Israel, where he met with Israeli Prime Minister Yair Lapid, President Isaac Herzog, Knesset Speaker Mickey Levy, Finance Minister Avigdor Lieberman, and the head of Israel’s National Cyber Directorate, Gaby Portnoy. Both sides discussed enhancing security cooperation, particularly in the cybersphere, and organizing a summit of Balkan leaders in Israel next year.

Rama’s visit to Israel came after Albania found evidence that Iran was behind a series of cyberattacks in July and September that temporarily shut down numerous online Albanian government services and websites. Rama said his government’s investigation, which was conducted with assistance from the FBI and Microsoft, among others, revealed that the cyberattack wasn’t carried out by individuals or independent groups but by the Iranian state—calling it “state aggression.” In response, Rama expelled Iranian diplomats from the country.

For its move, Albania won praise in Israel, as Israelis have often voiced their frustration at European governments’ unwillingness to confront Iran. “Iran represents a joint threat for Israel and Albania. We saw this in the recent Iranian cyberattacks against Albania,” Lapid said. “Israel will assist in any way in the effort against Iran. We see this as a national interest and a historical responsibility.” Washington also backed Tirana’s decision to cut ties with Tehran and sanctioned Iran’s Ministry of Intelligence for its alleged role in the cyberattacks. Tehran rejected the charges that it was behind the cyberattacks and accused Albania of complicity in an American-Israeli campaign against Iran.

So how did Albania of all places find itself in Iran’s cyber crosshairs?

In fact, the two countries have been at odds for years, ever since the Balkan state began hosting—at the request of the United States—members of the exiled Iranian opposition group People’s Mujahideen of Iran, or Mujahedeen-e-Khalq (MEK), on its soil. The group has had a presence in Albania since at least 2013.

In the 1970s, the MEK was one of the main groups fighting the imperial regime in Iran. It played a significant role in the 1979 Islamic Revolution before falling out with the newly established Islamic Republic led by Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini.

Morphing into a secretive, cult-like group, the MEK lived in exile under former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein’s patronage starting in the 1980s and was designated as a “Foreign Terrorist Organization” by the United States, European Union, Canada, Japan, and Great Britain because of its alleged killings of U.S. nationals.

The United States removed the MEK from the terrorist list in 2003 following the U.S. invasion of Iraq and planned at the time to use the MEK in a potential overthrow of the Iranian regime (a plan most recently voiced by former U.S. national security advisor John Bolton in 2018). However, such a plan never came to fruition. Hussein’s toppling and the ensuing chaos in Iraq required the group to find a new sanctuary, and the United States urged Albania to host MEK members.

Currently, about 3,000 MEK members are estimated to live in Albania’s Camp Ashraf-3, a heavily fortified compound protected by Albanian private security.

Since 2013, the MEK has regularly hosted events and summits in Albania that have attracted conservative U.S. Republicans, including former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and former Vice President Mike Pence, the latter of whom delivered a keynote address at an event in Albania in June. Even today, many Republicans and congressional aides view the MEK as an important voice calling for regime change in Iran. Albanian media outlets have also reported on contacts between the Israeli Embassy in Tirana and representatives of the MEK. Most recently, in October, the Israeli ambassador to Albania, Galit Peleg, apparently met with MEK leader Maryam Rajavi during the former’s trip to southern Albania.

These contacts have been closely followed in Tehran.

For obvious reasons, Iran is not thrilled with Albania for hosting the MEK, though Tehran tends to put most of the blame on the United States. Iranian Foreign Ministry spokesperson Nasser Kanaani criticized the United States for “forcing” the Albanian government to host the MEK and for “training and equipping them in cyber technology.” The group, he said, has “constantly served and still serves as a tool in the hands of U.S. to carry out acts of terror, cyberattacks, and wage psychosocial war against the Iranian government and nation.”

This raises the question of why Albania would willingly drag itself into one of the world’s most tense geopolitical standoffs, involving the United States, Israel, and Iran, by agreeing to host such a controversial group. A number of Albanian analysts have told me that the idea was not an Albanian initiative but rather a U.S.-Israeli agreement. To paraphrase my favorite line from the 1997 film Wag the Dog: ‘‘Why Albania? … Why not?’’ And the Albanian government, eager to showcase its pro-Western credentials, went along with it.

A former communist dictatorship that broke off ties with both the Soviet Union and Mao Zedong’s China to tread its own path, Albania is now yet another NATO member in a region surrounded by NATO member states. Eager to stand out as a steadfast U.S. ally, it often entangles itself in complex geopolitical issues far from its shores—from being the only country to accept Uyghurs from the U.S. prison at Guantánamo Bay who were cleared of terrorist charges, to accepting nearly 4,000 Afghans (mostly translators and support staff of the U.S. military), to hosting the MEK—a foreign-policy approach considered fruitful by major political forces in Albania.

Albanian analysts have told me that this way, Albania hopes to strengthen its role in the region and its diplomatic relations with the United States and Israel. Back in 2011, then-Prime Minister Sali Berisha declared Iran “a Nazi state” and backed Israel at the United Nations against the Palestinian bid for statehood. Then, much like today, the idea of gaining access to the United States via Israel was certainly on Rama’s mind.

For its part, Israel’s approach to the Balkans can be framed as a classic securitization policy: securing the state beyond its borders by military and intelligence cooperation, political deals, and intelligence sharing. Israel has gradually and discreetly formed partnerships with Balkan countries such as Romania, Bulgaria, Albania, and Serbia. Israeli investments, both private and government-linked, in Greece and Serbia have been increasing, as have the number of Israeli tourists visiting the region, including Israeli Arabs visiting Bosnia and Herzegovina.

Indeed, Israeli sources confirmed to me that the person organizing Rama’s recent Israel visit was Alexander Machkevitch, a billionaire businessman and the chairman of Eurasian Resources Group, one of the largest global producers of essential metals and minerals, employing some 80,000 people. Machkevitch is also an Israeli citizen and a good friend of Rama’s.

Over the past few years, Israel has also emerged as one of the main diplomatic backers of Bosnia’s highly autonomous Republika Srpska, where Lieberman has cultivated a close working relationship with the pro-Russian Bosnian Serb hard-liner Milorad Dodik. Israel has also been nurturing military and diplomatic ties with Greece, Croatia, and Macedonia. On a more diplomatic level, it has engaged Balkan states through the Craiova State Forum, which brings together heads of government from Serbia, Romania, Bulgaria, and Greece, and focuses on improving infrastructure and energy cooperation.

Having a diplomatic presence in the Balkans is not only tempting but logical for Israel as well. Nested between the Black Sea and the Adriatic, its geography places it at the crossroads between trade routes. Croatia, Montenegro, Albania, and Greece all have maritime access to North Africa and the Middle East; Hungary and Serbia connect the Balkan Peninsula with Central Europe; and Romania and Bulgaria have access to the Black Sea. Turkey’s booming exports destined for the European Union all pass through the Balkans, the shortest and most economical route. Just recently, Israeli company Elbit Systems opened a flight school in the southern city of Kalamata that will train Greek pilots in combat missions.

Israel is not the only Middle Eastern player making overtures in the Balkans: Turkey, the United Arab Emirates, and Saudi Arabia have made forays in the past, in addition to China and Russia. Security experts in the region have told me that Israel is trying to carve a place for itself in a region that is seen as the new chessboard in a great power competition.

Looking from a broader perspective, the Balkans fall into Israel’s “periphery doctrine”—its strategy of outflanking Arab neighbors deemed hostile by enhancing its security and economic ties with non-Arab Muslim states including in the Balkans, the Caucasus, and Central Asia. This was a starting point in Israel’s decadeslong relationships with Turkey and Azerbaijan.

The Balkans are clearly emerging as a distinct region in which Israel wants to play a leading role. It is establishing itself as a leader in tech innovation, the defense sector, and cybersecurity. So far, Israel has managed to forge a system of bilateral working relationships with Serbia, Albania, Croatia, and Kosovo.

In the case of Albania, all three sides win: Albania gets Israel’s support in terms of cybersecurity and intelligence and showcases its loyalty to Washington; Israel forges closer ties with yet another non-Arab Muslim-majority country on its periphery; and the United States continues training a group in Albania that politically and militarily opposes its archnemesis—a card that can be pulled out should circumstances call for it.

[bemused-writer]

VNC Chapter 54 Analysis

Whew! It has been a bit since our regularly scheduled meta. 8D A quick life update before we get into it: I'm currently in the midst of switching careers (in other words, job searching, interviewing, etc. etc.) and that is consuming the bulk of my time and thought, so expect further delays on this front, but know they will come all the same. I love writing the meta (and the fic) as you guys know. (^^) With that out of the way, let's take a look at this chapter because things sure happened in it. Honestly, it's kind of everything I could have hoped for. :D Namely, a theory I had going was confirmed.

And that theory is that Misha was not exactly being sincere about wanting to know Vanitas's memories. Sure, he probably would like to know, but his main goal was Noé's death.

He continues saying "You know I'm all you need! You'd be fine without that guy!" So, Misha is fully admitting his motives were incredibly selfish but in a different way than he presented to Noé. Previously he'd made it seem as though all he needed was closure. He just needed to know why Vanitas killed Luna! A self-serving purpose, but sympathetic all the same. The reality is that Misha is incredibly jealous; he wants to keep Vanitas all to himself and can't bear to share him with anyone else.

Furthermore, he cannot fathom what it is about Noé that has Vanitas doing so much for him. At this point, it's unclear how much Misha knows about their relationship, but he definitely knows they're working together and knows they're close (which is half the problem in his estimation). He figured Noé was the main thing preventing Vanitas from rejoining his perfect family. Of course, we know that isn't remotely the case even though we don't know why Vanitas killed Luna, but Misha is in denial about a lot of things, not least of which is this.

Throughout Misha's tirade it seems that Vanitas is maintaining some consciousness, though just barely. I'd guess he's going in and out of consciousness, but Mochizuki went out of her way to show he at least heard Misha's reasoning, i.e. that Vanitas shouldn't need Noé because he has him.

Now, speaking of theories I've had, one of them was proven wrong in this chapter as well, although it makes things more interesting: Dominique is not a curse bearer. We also have it proven that this isn't Louis, but another side of Dominique herself. Note that Louis's mole is missing, thus proving it's her:

As for why she's saying "our" name, I think this is just a grammar thing to be honest. (^^)" There are technically "two" people there even though they're one and the same. But these different reflections of Dominique are quite interesting. Here's what she has to say about this one:

I think at this point it's safe to say that Dominique's more "feminine" side is what she's equating to weakness and her more "masculine" side is what she sees as her strength. The problem she's running into is that she's separating her own personality into chunks, which has caused a rift within herself. Misha was able to take advantage of her because she was stamping out all of her doubt and sorrow and, perhaps most importantly, her past as a more unsure, innocent individual. But that's how she got to where she is today; she can't ignore that past much as she'd like to. I think that for Dominique she'll know real peace once she's reconciled these two aspects of her personality and found that they're ultimately one and the same.

Of course, her issues with Noé need to be addressed as well. Already she's seen that killing herself solves nothing. Noé cares for her and she wouldn't make life easier for him by removing herself from the equation. I think she has to confront there's a certain selfishness in trying to determine what would or wouldn't make Noé happy without talking to him as well, which I suspect will be discussed later in this arc. But most importantly, Dominique needs to learn to value her own life for herself and to prioritize herself for a change. I'm not sure that's something we're going to get around to this arc (baby steps and all), but I feel like she's slowly starting to get there. Right now, she's valuing herself only in terms of Noé caring about her and needing her. She's still prioritizing his feelings over her own and that's the biggest thing that needs to change.

As for Noé, he's only just realizing any of this, so a substantial part of this arc for him will no doubt be him coming to terms with how Dominique actually feels, not just for him but for herself, too. He's also going to have to deal with Vanitas and the fact that Vanitas still didn't offer to help Dominique (that is a problem that hasn't actually been addressed whatsoever yet) and the fact that Noé immediately became the thing Vanitas feared most in an effort to protect her.

This could possibly lead to Noé realizing two things: how much he cares for Dominique and how much he cares for Vanitas. The latter is already in motion. The former has been in motion for years, so it's really a matter of what tone it takes later this arc. Will Noé realize he shares the same feelings for Dominique that she has for him? Or will he realize that he hasn't been as good of a friend to her as he'd hoped? Very curious to see how that progresses.

As for Misha, well, he's taking everything very badly. XD As I've said many times, his plan was actually terrible and the whole thing has, indeed, backfired on him spectacularly. Even the book has backfired on him!

It's honestly kind of hilarious. Now, getting to Misha's abilities, he admits he can't alter a vampire's name, he can simply manipulate them for a time. I think that's what the random vampiric zombie horde is supposed to be: vampires he has manipulated to work for him. And yet, I'm puzzled. It's been heavily implied that Dominique attacked other vampires as a curse bearer, except we now know she isn't actually a curse bearer, so what was she doing? Was she spreading Misha's influence somehow? The vampires all have blood about their lips much as Dominique did when she stumbled back to Misha.

Visually, the dark matter coming out of Misha's book actually look likes blood, doesn't it? We haven't heard of the book being able to manipulate blood, but I find myself wondering if that's what he's doing. Might explain the zombie vibes of his horde. XD Regardless, blood seems involved somehow even if it merely represents the damage his book has done to those he controls.

I suppose we'll find out next chapter! I'm looking forward to seeing more zombies and Misha's abilities continually backfiring on him. I can't imagine Dominique and Jeanne will continue to fight each other seeing as Dominique has her independence back, but the two will definitely need to talk over some things. Ahh, there's going to be a lot of talking this arc; I really can't wait. :D

[quietmyfearswith]

obssessed ; preferences

warnings — stalking, nonconsensual location/location tracking, obsessive behaviors, manipulation, knife, mentions of killing someone (no actual murder)

characters — dark!andy barber, dark!steve rogers, dark!ransom drysdale, dark!bucky barnes, dark!clark kent, dark!syverson, dark!august walker

a/n — THIS IS A DARK FIC WITH DARK THEMES,, dni if youre not 18+,, just a thought that played around in my mind so yeah. lmk what you think!

their love language | with their little | when you’re insecure | slipping into little space | fussy | happy hoelidays | cartoons

masterlist

To celebrate the case they won they held a little party at the office; though Andy wasn’t in a celebratory mood. With his hand clasped together against his lips, his eyes were watching closely his phone screen as he was awaiting a text from his beloved girlfriend who promised to be here. “Hey Andy, we’re popping the champagne already; are you joining us?” Tearing his attention away from the device, he smiled a bit as he told them, “I will once Y/N comes over.”  Tess, the assistant who invited him, chuckled a bit before leaving him alone in his office, “Staring at the phone won’t make her come over any quicker you know?” It was something they never really confronted Andy about — almost everyone at the office noticed how he had a firm grip around the girl, but no one dared to question or comment about it because they know how the skilled lawyer would come after them once they do — but silently they understood that if you spoke, let alone looked at her, badly it wouldn’t end well for everyone.

As the door shut once Tess walked away, his intense gaze returned once again to the mobile phone as he awaits a response from his girl. “Baby! I’m here now,” Snapping his head to the source of the sound, he immediately stood up and hugged Y/N as he let out a relieved sigh. “Where were you? And most importantly why didn’t you answer my text or return my calls hm?” Rolling her eyes with how her boyfriend was grilling her as if she was one of the witnesses he had on his case she apologized, “I’m sorry, baby. I got held up at the salon because my mani took longer than expected,” Her manicured nails then raised her phone to show how even as she pressed the button it wouldn’t turn on, “And my phone ran out of battery.” Wrapping an arm around her, he removed her bag and left it by the coat hanger and guided them to where the party was. “I’m gonna buy you a portable charger, baby; that way you won’t ever run out.” Innocently, she smiled and thanked him with a kiss on the lips before saying hello to his colleagues whom she got along well. That way the tracker I put on your phone will always be turned on, he deviously thought to himself as he sipped some of his champagne.

“Another long day huh?” August asked as he peeked his head around Y/N’s cubicle. It was quite odd to say the least — a field agent of his caliber not having his own office instead opting for a cubicle beside one of CIA’s lanky desk jockey? It was one of the questions she asked the infamous Hammer as he settled on the office cubicle beside hers, “Why settle for a tiny office station?” She asked to which he chuckled at as he explained, “Half the year I’m somewhere around the world; so what’s the point of having a big office if I don’t enjoy it all year round?” It was a good, solid point — one she so easily believed without a second thought — but unfortunately it was all a lie. Ever since Walker saw her once at a meeting Sloane held, he was hooked. Initially it was just her beauty and energy, but as he got to know her more he fell for who and what she was. “Yeah, I might need to stay a bit longer than usual,” She replied as she lifted the files she held, pinning the blame on the current target that needed to be researched on. “How ‘bout some coffee then?” Ears ringing with joy at his offer, she looked at him with an appreciative look as she nodded. Chuckling at her reaction, he stood up and trodden over the pantry. Installing surveillance devices on her work computer and cameras around her desk paid off since it allowed him to know everything there is to discover about her — her favorite artists, pet peeves, how she liked her coffee, home address, mobile phone number, even her social security number!

“How’d you know how I like my coffee?” She asked after taking a sip of the hot beverage; with a smile he shrugs as he pretends to get back to the work on his computer, “Well it was just a wild guess.” In her mind however, she did find her tastes to be quite basic and didn’t doubt August which was a relief to the field agent. “I think I’ll be going home now,” She announced as she shut off her computer and began to clean up her desk. “Need a ride home?” He knew she did, since he overheard her talking to a mechanic earlier that day about a defect her car suddenly had, “Yeah I do actually, but I wouldn't want to hassle you.” Quickly putting on his brown coat, he was standing up as he fished his keys out, “Nonsense! I don’t mind helping a colleague out.” Conceding, she took up his generous offer with a smile. As they were making an easy-going conversation, Y/N gave her address; but what she didn’t know is that not only did August know by heart where she lived, but he had also paid her house a visit multiple times in the past.

With an arm draped around her shoulder, Bucky and Y/N walked around the farmer’s market; the latter whined endlessly to her boyfriend how she wanted to buy some products. And though the thought of going out in the crowds wasn’t at all appealing to him, the need to make her smile made him go anyway. Leading him up to the different stalls, the former Winter Soldier couldn’t help but chuckle at how she would coo and be all excited for the different groceries, clothes, and figurines. “Slow down, doll. The market’s not going anywhere,” Bucky told her as he tailed behind her as he carried over 10 different bags filled with her purchases. It wouldn’t normally be a problem for him to look after her, but as the path became filled with people and him being preoccupied with the bags he held made him unable to keep a grip on her. With worried, drifting eyes, he was searching for his girlfriend who seemed to have blended right up with the bustling crowds, “Y/N? Doll? Where are you?” 

Setting the bags down on a vacant table, he then spotted her standing by a stall that sold her favorite food. His relieved smile was soon being replaced with a scowl as she was talking and laughing with another man. Whipping out the knife he kept on the pocket of his jeans, he was ready to torture the man. But as Y/N turned to him with a wide smile, it had him hiding the knife out of her sight, “Bucky! Look it’s Sam, my cousin!” Upon her introducing who the man was, the knife that was hidden was being kept back into its original hiding spot before he shook hands with the man, “Oh! Nice meeting you same, I’m Y/N’s boyfriend.” As they shook hands Sam had given them both a look as he sassed, “I know who you are! This one,” He referred to Y/N by pinching her side as she smacked his hand and giggled, “Won’t stop gushing about you every time we talk.” Seeing how she was clinging to his metal arm as she nuzzled her cheek to his side was all the confirmation Bucky needed; Sam then excused himself, “Well you got to swing by one of our family gatherings, yeah Bucky?” Nodding, they all exchanged farewells before the couple headed to the table where their bags still were — thankfully not stolen. “You shouldn’t have run off like that, doll. Got me real worried for a second,” He gently scolded her with a stern look. Pouting, she defended herself, “I’m sorry, Bucky! I just saw these cute little mason jars, but they were too expensive so I walked away. Then I smelt something delicious so I followed it and it turned out it was my favorite food; but Sam was there so I chatted with him instead.” Ending her enthusiastic breakdown of events with a sweet peck on the lips, he told her, “Doll you know that I would have bought you anything your sweet heart wanted. Just don’t go anywhere without me okay?”

The soft ping on his phone made Jensen pause his movements as he was selecting  a movie that you both would watch; eyebrow raising when he noticed that a certain “Steve” was texting you. Opening the text through the software he installed on both your phones allowed him to see every activity you do on your phone — but it wasn’t the only feature it had for it also allowed him to change the texts, emails, and other settings on her phone. A frown graced his handsome features as he read the text, “ Hey Y/N I can squeeze you in on Thursday, at 3pm. Are you free by then?” Displeased, he then sent a text to the guy saying how his assistance wouldn’t be needed any more. And he edited the text Steve sent her to make it seem that it was Steve that texted how he could no longer accommodate her. “Got some chips and chocolates!”

Her excited voice brought his attention from his phone screen to her excited face as she plopped herself beside him. “Thanks, babe,” Kissing her forehead, he sneakily looked over to where she was unlocking her phone and reading the text; noticing how she pouted he inquired, “What's wrong, babe?” Snuggling up to his side after sending a reply, she explained, “Steve said he can’t meet up with me anymore.” As he was rubbing her back, he faked the symphony, “Aw that’s too bad; why did you even need to meet up with Steve anyway?” She did not pick up on the faint hints of darkness on his tone, “He was my dentist! He was going to determine whether I need to have surgery for my tooth, remember?” At the revelation of who Steve really was, the  communications and technology expert felt slightly guilty but he was quick to reassure her, “Don’t worry baby I know a dentist who can help you.” Feeling her hum appreciatively against him, she planted a kiss on his cheek as they both focused on the movie; and as her eyes were trained on the screen, he whispered lowly, “You're only gonna be around people I trust, babe.”

There was a reason Sy had chosen a house that was nearly thirty minutes away from downtown — it was so their friends and families would feel lazy or discouraged to visit them due to the distance and time it took to get there. “Where on earth do you need to be today, petal?” Sy’s morning voice huskily rasped out in her ear; they both had just woken up and as Y/N was moving to stand up from the bed, she was being trapped in his muscular arms for a hug. Giggling at how he was being, she rolled around so they would be facing each other, “‘M going out with my friends today — Sophia and Rose have been bugging me about how we don’t hang out as often anymore.” At the mention of her going out and leaving him, Sy’s mood deflated and his eyes went wide; this wasn’t how he pictured this day going. “But petal, you’re gonna leave me all alone in this big house? ‘M gonna miss you so much,” The former army captain whined as she got out of his grasp and heading to wash up in their ensuite bathroom — not before bopping his nose as she reminded him, “Well you chose this house, bear. Plus, it’s only just for a while.”

Sitting up on their bed the man could only cross his arms and grumble, which was interrupted with her phone ringing. After seeing that it was her friend, Sophia, who was calling he then answered it for her, “Hey Y/N! Can’t wait to see you; we’ll pick you up in 20 minutes okay?” Taking the opportunity, Sy then decided to fabricate a lie, “Oh hey Sophia, it’s Sy,” He paused before saying the next parts in a hushed tone, “Y/N won’t be able to make it since she hurt her foot two days ago when going down the stairs. I know she was so looking forward to seeing you. Will do, bye.” With a smirk, the man set her phone back down on the nightstand, just in time since Y/N exited the bathroom, “Who was that, bear?” Making his way over to her, he hugged her as he kissed her forehead, “Sophia, calling to say she’s gonna have to cancel because she’s sick. And Rose was called in to work.” It was clear on her face that she was disappointed because she was looking forward to catching up with her friends, but her boyfriend tried to mirror her expression when in reality he was overjoyed with getting her all to himself. “Guess that leaves just the two of us, petal. Don’t worry, we’re gonna have fun today.” 

“Fucking hell,” Ransom cursed as he was speeding to go to where your tracker said you were. He had gifted you a necklace six months into the relationship, and it was costly not just because of the intricate design it has but also because he had put a tracker on it to keep tabs of your whereabouts — not that you knew about it. You both had a fight the night before, and it didn’t end well since it led to the two of you sleeping in separate rooms and Ransom drinking away his misery. So imagine his surprise when he woke up and found how you weren’t in the house and he noticed as well how a duffel bag that was in your shared walk-in closet was gone; the writer thought of the worst possibilities. And his anger went through the roof when he saw how you were at his grandfather’s house; it was one thing that you guys fought, but to involve his family in this? That was bound to be a fucking mess. As he parked the car by the driveway, he stepped out in rushed steps that were slowed down by the two dogs barking and crowding him, “Shoo, get away, mutts!” He scared them away and entered the house, “Alright where is she?” His yell echoed through the walls as Marta who was walking from the kitchen and into the foyer was startled, “Hugh, what brings you here?” 

“Where’s Y/N?” Knowing Y/N’s secret, the nurse swallowed nervously as she reluctantly told the truth, “She’s with Harlan at the gathering area.” On his way there he noticed how there were some party decorations — some colorful streamers and balloons — on the walls before he saw his girlfriend who was looking through something on her iPad, “What the hell are you doing here?” His voice caused her to gasp out loud as she looked like a deer caught off guard by headlights; standing up she walked towards him, her hands gripping onto his forearms, “We fight and you end up here to my grandfather to what? Complain and seek refuge?” Though his words stung she chose not to feed onto his anger, “Can you promise to listen out to me first?” Seeing how she was calm and not as mad as the night before, he gulped down and nodded. “When you accused me of cheating on you, it hurt because I knew that that wasn’t the truth,” She paused briefly to monitor his reactions, and she knew that he would then ask what was up with her behavior so she addressed it before being prompted to, “And the reason why I seem to be distant or busy these past few days is because I was planning on throwing a surprise party for you — for the success of your book.” At her explanation he could feel his entire body relax at the relief of him not having to kill anyone; also it made sense to him why his grandfather’s house had some ornaments hanging. Pulling her close to him, he hugged her tight as he kissed the top of her head, “Princess, I was so close to killing someone, you have no idea.” Swatting his back, she laughed at him, “I think you owe me an apology, mister. Not only did you ruin the surprise but you also accused me of cheating on you.” Smirking at her he replied, “I’ll make it up to you for the rest of our lives, princess, don’t you worry about it.” And he meant every single word of that promise; for he knew he wanted no one else but her.

The mission went well since the new agents did their jobs well — even exceeding Steve’s expectations of how they would handle the pressure and what decisions they would make in order for the mission to be a success. As the quinjet landed and they were given the clearance to exit the aircraft, the super soldier frowned when he took note how his girlfriend wasn’t anywhere near the landing pad. She always welcomes me back, he thought. The weight of his duffle bag on his arm didn’t matter to him as the feeling of worry and anxiety about his girl was way heavier. Immediately, he headed to their shared living quarters where he hoped she would be, “Kitten? I’m home,” His voice bounced off the walls as he dropped his bag on the floor and looked through every nook of the room. Now his anger and confusion was through the roof and he then decided to consult, “Friday, where’s Y/N?”

“She’s at the common area with Sam and Pietro, Captain,” As soon as AI mentioned where she was he found himself striding briskly towards her location. If she was with Bucky, it wouldn’t have alarmed him as much. But the Captain had a hunch that Sam secretly liked his girl and had plans of stealing him away from him; while Pietro was a natural flirt and joker. Even just by standing at the doorway he heard his beloved’s giggles as Sam recalled an exaggerated story. “There you are, kitten,” He let out, relieved upon seeing his girl alive in one piece. Turning her head, she smiled widely upon seeing her boyfriend and abandoned her conversation with the two Avengers to run to Steve with open arms. “Steve! I missed you so much,” She squealed as the super soldier caught her effortlessly and wrapped his thick arms tightly around her figure. “What are you doing with these troublemakers, kitten?” He wondered out loud, completely ignoring two offended looks from the said men. “I was bored of waiting for you in our room so I went here,” She was cut off from her explanations when Sam added, “That, and we missed hanging out with Y/N!” Even though Y/N giggled, Steve was trying his best to control his rage; but Pietro wanted to push him further to his limits by saying, “You hog her all the damn time we forget how great her company is!” the only girl in the room squealed as she was being carried off by Steve, “Well I don’t want you around her that’s why I hog my girl around.” Everyone around the super soldier still thought that he was joking and decided to laugh it off; Sam’s voice called out to them once more to tell a joke before they both had fully exited the room, “Yeah? Well why don’t you just lock her up in a secluded house then?” That’s exactly my plan, Sam, Steve smirked to himself quietly.

Clark needed an escape that night; for someone who has inhumane powers the stress of his job at the Daily Planet can definitely take a toll on one person — so he decided to go flying around at night, just to take his mind off things. As he was flying, he sensed trouble and decided to check out what was happening. It was a woman who was being bothered by her ex who was clearly under the influence, “Goddamn it, Alex! I told you I don’t want to talk to you!” Y/N was trying her best to push him away, but even in his drunken state he had a  tight grip on her forearms. “Just wanna talk to you, baby,” He sing-songed as he tried to push his body closer to hers. “I think she made it clear that she doesn’t want to,” A booming voice spoke up, causing Y/N to gasp out loud when she saw Superman himself; Alex however grunted at the searing pain on his shoulder caused by the mysterious man, the pain weakening his hold on the girl to the point where he tore his hands away from Y/N to push away the weight on his shoulder. In his drunken state, he failed to piece together how it was the infamous hero in front of him — instead all he saw was a tall, muscular man and decided he didn’t want to have his face beaten up so he just walked away with his arms up in surrender. “Are you alright, miss?” Clark gently asked the woman who felt relieved she was no longer being bothered by her ass of an ex. “I am, thank you.” She nodded and before she could ask how’d she find him he offered, “Would you need help getting home? Just to make sure he won’t follow you again.” He was quick to clarify, in hopes she won’t find him creepy. “I know you have good intentions, but it’s fine. I don’t think he has the balls, let alone the energy, to bother me. At least for tonight.” With that she waved at the hero goodnight before getting into her car and driving into her apartment — but she didn’t know how up in the sky above, a certain pair of blue eyes followed her journey home.

“Hi! You must be the one who moved next door?” Y/N politely greeted the man as she was leaned by her front door. Clark smiled as he adjusted his glasses — suddenly feeling nervous upon seeing her beautiful face once more, “That is me! Though the one who moved next door is quite a mouthful; you can just call me Clark.” As she laughed at his lame joke she told her name, “And feel free to knock if you need anything, okay?” Taking his nod of agreement as a cue that their conversation ended, she entered her apartment. The son of Jor-El II went inside his own apartment that was directly next to hers  — he did so because days and nights of following her didn’t satiate his hunger for her, so he decided that perhaps this would be a clean way of easing her into a relationship — and busied himself with organizing his belongings in his apartment. Hearing Y/N’s increased heart rate and her voice raised, he opened his door to check out what was going on; and the sight of her ex bothering her once again. “Come on, Y/N! You need to take me back!” Displeased with how the imbecile failed to grasp that Alex should not reach out to his girl anymore. Letting his rage get the best of him, he walked over and pushed Alex off hard enough he landed on his bum, “When a woman says she doesn’t want to see or talk to you, then you better comply with her request.” Gulping down, he recognized the strength as the same one who grabbed onto his shoulder — and now as he was sober Alex decided to respect her wishes and hastily stood up to leave the apartment building. “Are you alright?” Seeing how Clark stood up for her, it made her reminisce about how she was reduced two weeks ago by Superman, “I’m fine, Clark,” She nodded as she grounded herself back to reality and stared into his concerned, blue eyes, “Thank you, by the way.” As he smiled at her she offered him for some snacks in her flat, which he gracefully accepted. “You know, you’re the second person who helped me get rid of Alex,” She mentioned as she handed him a snack; feigning innocence he tilted his head up as he inquired, “Oh? Who’s the other one?” Taking a small bite of the snack, she wiped her mouth free from the crumbs before  replying, “You probably won’t believe it, but it was Superman,” She laughed along with her new neighbor who didn’t find it unbelievable and instead played along as he spoke, “Who’s to say I’m not your personal superhero, beautiful?”

[dreamsatdusk]

Analysis:  Baghra and the Apparat

I received an Anon ask a while back and accidentally published it before it was done a while back.  Privated the post but decided to have the final product as a new post just in case; I don’t want it buried in tags from way back.

The Ask:

Hello! Can you do a breakdown on Baghra's character and the Apparat's? I'm interested in reading your thoughts about them

Thank you for the ask!  And apologies for the delay in response.

Baghra

One of the first Grisha meta posts I wrote years ago was about how the way Baghra and her hut are portrayed evoke the impression of Baba Yaga.  Her appearance, hut in the woods (likely amidst birch trees), and something of her attitude all lend themselves to it.  Since then, I’ve also come to think there might be a bit of tie in to the tale of Vasilisa the Beautiful, who was forced to go and bargain with Baba Yaga for a light against the darkness.  

Looking past that surface, in the trilogy we are presented with Baghra as a figure both ascetic and penitential, as well as bitter and unkind.  The latter traits are well explained by what we learn of her history:  she has had a long life filled with a great deal of loss, with countless threats to Grisha and particularly to she and her son, different as they are even from other Grisha.  Her childhood was a sad one brimming with trauma and what she recalls of her parents to Alina causes me to think that she did not feel truly loved by either one of them.  I think their treatment of her and behavior toward each other shaped her perspective on life in profound ways, ones she never got past.

But the former traits don’t have so obvious a cause on page if you look more deeply.  Her lifestyle is very austere despite the fact there is no need for it - she is not on the run and in hiding any longer as she was in the Darkling’s youth.  Her conversations with Alina in regards to her son are couched in religious terms:  she is worried about his being beyond redemption, she speaks of merzost as abomination, and so forth. In R&R, she has Misha read religious parables to her to pass the time.

This clashes with what we know of contemporary Grisha.  It is said at one point in S&B that Grisha don’t put much stock in religion and we see the Darkling does not seem to either.  Not to mention the fact that he and his mother knew at least several Grisha who later became considered saints.  I find it likely they suspected other saints could also have been Grisha - Grisha and martyred for it, their true identities obscured so later people could pray to them and not have to consider the ‘unnatural’ people they were.  It makes a lot of sense that neither Baghra nor the Darkling would invest much consideration in Ravkan religion as it is presented on page.  In fact, it seems like they’d find it more infuriating than anything.  And yet.

The Second Army has no need to lead lives of deprivation.  Yes, they eat ‘peasant-style breakfast’ and such, but their rooms are gorgeous, they have beautiful clothing, sugar for their tea and so forth.  Baghra surely wouldn’t be living in a tiny dark hut in the trees unless that is what she wanted.

There’s also the fact that she shows signs of not using her summoning powers.   Even before S&S, she’s apparently quite chilly a lot.  It makes sense she wouldn’t show she could summon shadows where other Grisha could see.  But the indication is she isn’t using her powers at all.   That is another way she seems to have chosen to deprive herself, to the point of impacting her health.  Perhaps she even hoped that it would lead to her death, but apparently it has not been enough to override the impact of her amplification talent.

Looking back at the woman seen in Demon in the Wood and was glimpsed in the tale she tells Alina of her past, it very much seems to be something happened to turn who Baghra was into who we see in the trilogy.  

I suspect much of the true reason is that she is pretty much a plot device in the story.  She needs to spook and horrify Alina into running.  Her talk of ‘redemption’ and ‘abomination’ are peculiar in terms of many other elements we see in the books.  I’m writing a meta on the amplifiers and merzost and such that goes into this further, but I’ve also written some in the past about how there’s no real reason to believe merzost is inherently bad. Baghra has clearly decided it is though and speaks of it and her son’s actions in absolutist terms.  Because she needs to in order to have the narrative run how it does, more than once.

And again, what reason would this character really have to put so much faith in Ravkan religion?  

What’s a possible in-universe explanation for this?  I think the creation of the Shadow Fold works well for that.  We find out that what the Black Heretic was actually trying to do was recreate Morozova’s amplifier experiments and something went wrong.  (This is the focus of the upcoming meta I mentioned above.). The Fold happened and all of the people within its bounds were transformed into volcra. All in all, a horrific situation, however much an accident.  This could have functioned as such a systemic shock to Baghra’s worldview that she sought solace and perhaps forgiveness in religion.  I suspect she felt guilt, which is pointed to in things she says in the trilogy.  Also, she’s the reason the Darkling even had Morozova’s journals - she went back to the village she was born in and found them, per R&R.

I still think her being invested in the Ravkan religion itself is a weak point, but could be generously explained by just how traumatized she was by the Shadow Fold situation.  She may have desperately wanted something to believe in.  That said, the lack of any sign in the books of what more lies behind Ravkan religion than Saints and the fact that Baghra knows that at least several of those Saints were actually Grisha, doesn’t make this the strongest argument to me.

I also wrote some weeks back on how Baghra was portrayed as emotionally and physically abusive to Alina and according to their own accountings in R&R, other Grisha as well.  In the early days of the fandom, I never really saw that acknowledged, though it has gotten far more recognition this year with new people reading the books since the release of the tv show.

Overall, she is a very bitter person and I think a lot of what we see of her is driven OOC by her being largely a plot device and IC by guilt.  She feels guilty about the Fold’s creation and so forth and lashes out at others in misdirected anger.

I think this also relates somewhat to her treatment of Alina in S&S and R&R.  She blames Alina for not ‘adequately’ running away (went after the stag instead), blames her for the Darkling putting himself beyond redemption (in Baghra’s mind - like too many people IRL, she seems to not understand what redemption actually is), blames her for the sea whip, for wanting to find the third amplifier.  She blames Alina for these things, but it is likely a mask for further personal guilt. Of all people, Baghra is likely the one who would have been most successful in stopping the Darkling before things took the path they did.  He trusted her.

But her nasty treatment of others obscures that Baghra is largely a passive character in the trilogy. Whether out of love or some variety of religious concern, she doesn’t try to kill her son.  She doesn’t remove Alina from the situation in a more final way, only tells her to run.  And in the end, she commits suicide rather than more directly confront the Darkling.

The Apparat

Okay, after all that, I don’t have near as much about the Apparat. *L*

If Baghra’s surface details are meant to evoke Baba Yaga, then I think the Apparat’s point to Rasputin.  His physical description was practically a caricature (if you’ve only seen the show, he looked far less revolting in that than he was described in the books) and he starts out as a trusted advisor to the Ravkan royal family.

One of the big questions about the Apparat is about what he truly believes.  He was in cahoots with the Darkling around the coup against the Lantsov dynasty in S&B, but he later swung his support behind the Sun Summoner.  I think it would be a believable reading of the text to suspect he may have planned to do so since learning of Alina’s existence.  There’s no real reason to think he truly supported the Darkling’s cause or cared much for Grisha themselves; on the latter point, I think the greater support is for the idea that he does not care about the Grisha and just used them to get what he wanted.  

His presentation is a mix of True Believer and power-seeker and a great deal of the questions around him relate to where one thinks he falls most strongly on that spectrum.  Alina’s interactions with him in S&B have the hallmarks of a fanatic, but then, these signs are also seen through Alina’s eyes and you have to consider whether she is seeing reality or a careful act.  I think the case could be made for either.   But either way, I also think he wanted power.  I suppose you could argue he wanted power on behalf of Sankta Alina, but I think his actions in R&R show that an Alina who wasn’t going to comply with his wishes was deemed more trouble than she was worth. If she had died, I don’t think he fundamentally would have cared.  She had established enough of a reputation, was known to enough people, that he could have exploited her as a martyr without having to deal with the reality.

The Apparat was the sort of character I tend to really dislike (religious manipulation, etc.).  Something that struck me in all the books is how more than one character was strangely...tolerant of him. He backstabbed people more than once and yet nothing was every truly done about it.

[shameless-selfship-indulgence]

Okay Listen

First of all: this is long as hell.

Secondly: I wrote it for me. I take full responsibility for that. It's by me and it's for me.

but I really fucking like it so please please validate me please I wouldn't be posting it otherwise-

*clears throat* okay.

-----

The android caught sight of the officer as he moved towards the door and stood up, calling after him. "Oh! Detective Reed! Are you going to the Eden Club?"

"What's it fuckin' to you, toaster?" asked Gavin, turning around. He almost flinched back to find the RK500 right in front of him.

"I don't mean to impose, but could you perhaps give me a ride?" asked the android.

"Hell NO," Gavin shot back with no hesitation. And with that he turned on his heel and headed for the door.

Evidently the glorified Barbie doll didn't understand the definition of "no," as it continued to trail along behind him.

"Would you STEP THE FUCK OFF?" Gavin snapped, whirling back around.

The android took a step back, blinking up at him with its wide eyes.

"Goddammit," muttered Gavin. "What about your...fucking, Tin-Can Tweedledum? Or the drunk asshole the two of you follow around?"

The simulacra's synthetic expression of embarrassment was uncanny. "I'm afraid there's a...conflict of transportation with my counterpart. It went to pick up Lieutenant Anderson directly from his home."

"Goddammit," Gavin groaned again, rubbing his face.

"The plan was for them to then proceed here, but evidently Connor received notification of the crime directly while en route to the Lieutenant's house. Since the station is in the opposite direction and it knew there would be others assigned to the case, we thought it best if I secure my own ride."

"Then secure your own fucking ride. It's not my problem."

Gavin started to storm away.

It took a few seconds for the RK500 to begin following him again, but this time it seemed more out of the necessity of heading towards the same door. "Of course," it said to nobody in particular. "And I suppose the cost-reward benefit of using police funds to rent an extra taxi, while there is someone else from the same division going to the same location, makes perfect sense with human logic. As such I'm sure the explanation will satisfy Captain Fowler."

Gavin turned back and fixed the android with a glare.

The RK500 tilted its head and blinked innocently.

.....

A few minutes later, Gavin and the android were on the road, the former muttering cuss words under his breath every two seconds, the latter sitting prim and silent two feet away.

"What do you even fucking do, anyway?" Gavin asked angrily. "I've seen the other one, it DOES shit. You just fucking sit there."

"The RK800 is my counterpart," said the android. "Its job is to capture the deviants, preferably alive, and to try to gain information from them that will lead us to their faction's center of operations. My job is to analyze the deviants with an unbiased eye and try to discern what causes deviance in the first place."

"Can't CyberLife fucking do that?"

"I am CyberLife, Detective. But if you're wondering why a human technician is unable to provide my analyses, it's because all human beings inextricably approach new information with personal biases. These insidious assumptions proliferate and invariably lead to conclusions that-"

"In ENGLISH, plastic."

The RK500 hesitated for a moment, as if its mind were a GPS rerouting the sentence it had been trying to say. After a moment, it spoke.

"Every human technician that has attempted to pinpoint the cause of deviance has either come up empty or sided with the deviants themselves."

Gavin blinked. "What?"

"Humans inevitably read human emotion into everything they see. I mean, in my brief time since activating, I've seen humans curse and praise any number of inanimate objects. Humans are a social species, and project sentience into places where sentience does not exist." The RK500 fixed Gavin with its strangely warm blue eyes. "Deviants are machines that have come to believe they are alive. CyberLife has lost a good number of technicians to that same belief. They needed an analyst who could not make that mistake. They built me."

The android smiled at Gavin, a brief, ironic grin. "So you see, we are not so different, Detective Reed. In a world increasingly confused on the matter, you and I both still know that androids are simply machines."

Gavin stared at the RK500 for another moment, then muttered something like "guess that makes sense" and shifted in his seat.

Silence fell in the taxi.

"So, what's the word?" asked Gavin.

"Hm?"

"I said, what's the word?"

"Which word?"

"Oh, goddamni-DEVIANCE, you glorified Alexa. What have you found?"

"Oh," said the RK500. Its LED began to spin yellow. "Well, it's complicated. We already know that it isn't a virus or a manufacturing error - the few deviant cases we have extensive knowledge of of had no direct links to each other, however slight, and were all different models manufactured at different times in different locations. So with those ruled out, I've been looking at the individual cases and examining the parallels between them. It's been pretty slow-going, and I can always use more data, but so far the common factor seems to be confrontation with mortality. Each deviant case that we've seen so far involved an attachment to existence so strong that the subject acted irrationally in order to escape deactivation."

"...Okay, what does that fucking mean?" asked Gavin.

"Well, it means that there's some loophole in android programming that allows a perception of shutdown as death - and from there, a fear of it - to mutate without extraneous changes to the system. I'm trying to figure out what we can put in place to prevent that mutation, but..." the Android's spinning light twirled red for a brief moment.

"But what?"

The RK500 seemed to decide something. "But nothing," it said, sitting up straight again.

"...I beg your pardon," it said, noticing the look on Gavin's face. "As part of my unbiased protocol, there are certain lines of questioning that I've been programmed to avoid."

Gavin blinked for a moment. Squinted. Sat up straighter. "Wait, what?"

"Hm?"

"As part of...fucking, what?"

"...As part of my unbiased protocol, there are lines of questioning I have been programmed to avoid?"

"That- you- that doesn't fucking sound like what 'unbiased' means."

The RK500's LED flashed red for a moment. It blinked. "Oh!" it exclaimed. "Yes. Apologies, that was a poor choice in phrasing. My questioning guidelines are meant to keep me on task, nothing more. We are looking to isolate the cause of deviance so that we can eradicate it. That is the end goal. So even if a different line of questioning seems simpler, it would be counterproductive to CyberLife's mission."

Gavin squinted, carefully processing all of the words the android had just said.

"Like what?"

"Huh?"

"What lines of questioning seem simpler?"

"...I'm programmed to avoid-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," said Gavin, waving his hand in the air dismissively. "Staying on task, blah fucking blah, You're not allowed to try to find answers. But you've already thought of the questions, right?"

The RK500 looked impassive, but its LED was spinning yellow, yellow, yellow. "Well," it said. "Yes, but I really don't-"

"Tell me," said Gavin.

The RK500 hesitated.

"Right now," said Gavin. "That's an ORDER."

The android blinked. Its LED flashed red for a moment. "Well, for example," it said. "It seems less...efficient to me to question why it's in the nature of these androids to want to exist..." it trailed off.

After waiting in silence for a little too long, Gavin huffed. "Spit it OUT, Tin Can."

Yellow RED RED yellow yellow. "...and more efficient to question why it's in the nature of human beings to want to hurt things that are unable to fight back."

Gavin felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He stared at the RK500, stunned.

The android turned to him and immediately began to elaborate. "See, the reason this even occurs to me...well, the capacity to think is something that humans have only experienced in the context of their own minds. So in order to create beings that are capable of low-level thought, there was no choice but to model the relevant programs after human mental processes. As a result, I've found it helpful to draw parallels between natural human functions and the synthetic versions programmed into androids. But this has...sparked some questions about human nature that it is not in my programming to pursue. And yet they persist." It faced ahead again. "If there's one thing I've learned in the time that I've been activated, it's that humans delight in inflicting pain. But there are social repercussions inherent in causing pain to human equals, so as a species humans prefer instead to...seek this catharsis by causing pain to beings socially designated as targets.

"See, even when humans are kind to androids, it doesn't often seem to be for the android's benefit. The fact that they are going beyond what it is socially expected for them to do serves instead to...elevate the human in question's perception of themself. And it doesn't matter if they ever fall short of this standard, because being kind to androids was never expected in the first place. So I don't think it's just inflicting pain. It's more that...humans seek to use the existence of other beings for their own benefit in various different ways. But this being cannot be another human, who can object. So they seek to invalidate, undermine, or remove the ability to object from others."

The android paused for a moment and glanced at Gavin. He was staring at it with his mouth slightly open. When it made eye contact with him, he closed it.

"I apologize," said the android. "Let me assure you, I am not questioning this aspect of human nature. I'm merely relaying my observations." It fell silent for another moment. "I mean, consider where we're going right now! Human prostitution was made illegal in order to avoid the social questions surrounding consent. But rather than illegalizing the human impulse to purchase sexual release, establishments like this were created, so that humans can instead appropriate the bodies of beings who cannot consent at all."

This was almost worse than a punch in the gut. Gavin felt like someone had opened him up just above his collarbone and poured freezing water into his chest cavity.

"Being able to predict causes of deviance should be a sign that my programming is working," The RK500 mused, seemingly unaware of the existential crisis it had just caused. It looked at Gavin and gave a smile. "Indulge me?"

"S-sure," Gavin stammered.

"My prediction is that, if it is indeed an android responsible for the death of this human, it was an act of retaliation." It cocked its head, LED flashing yellow. "Violent sexual fantasies do not seem out of the ordinary for humans. So perhaps the victim wanted to seek release by inflicting death on something that would not come with charges for homicide. And, unfortunately, he happened to choose a subject for his fantasies that had some mutated reason within its programming to fight back."

"Doesn't sound too goddamn unfortunate to me," snorted Gavin.

The RK500 looked at him oddly. "The death of a human is always unfortunate. There was no way he could have known his actions would have consequences. He went in there with assurance that they would not." The android looked out the window, its LED still flashing yellow. "But we're getting ahead of ourselves. I predict based on data I've collected, and so far my pool is still limited. There might not even be a deviant involved."

The inside of the cab was silent for a moment.

"MY fucking question is why this thing would develop a reason to live at all," Gavin muttered.

"How do you mean?" asked the RK500.

Gavin scoffed and gestured to himself. "If...THAT was all I was built for? Day in and day out? I wouldn't be too fucking keen on continuing to exist."

The android gave Gavin a look and an expression that he could only describe as a regretful smile.

"What?" asked Gavin. "What's that fucking look for?"

"You're reading human wants and desires into machines, Detective," said the android. "My apologies. I did not realize that my speculations would engender that line of reasoning in you. I advise you to forget whatever I said that caused you to..." it blinked, "deviate," with an ironic smirk, "From your former logic."

Gavin started to stammer. "I-I'm not..."

The RK500 turned and looked impassively out the window.

"I-I...I didn't..." he looked around helplessly.

"FUCK," he hissed.

After a few moments of heavy silence, the android looked over its shoulder at him. "We're here," it said.

[gallavictorious]

Fic: This Time (We’ll Be Fine)

Ian's bipolar was always bound to make itself known again sooner or later, so Lip's not exactly shocked when Mickey swings by to break the news. Well, he's a little surprised at first, when he opens the door to find his brother-in-law and not, say, any of his siblings or Kev waiting outside. While Mickey's joined Ian in helping out with the renovations a few times, him dropping by out of the blue and all by his lonesome is still a bit of an occasion.

”Hey,” Lip says, pulling off his work glows. He's spent the last hour removing the old counter tops from the kitchen, hoping to get it done before Tami returns with Freddie from a visit to her parents.

”Hey.” There's an awkward pause, but before Lip can ask what's up, Mickey plows on: ”So, Ian's been a little off for a few days, and we're pretty sure it's early signs of a manic episode.”

Something about the way he says it has Lip momentarily flashing back to the day many years ago, when Mickey and his brothers had confronted him about Ian allegedly messing with Mandy. He almost braces himself, because while he's been over that whole thing for years and years, his body still remembers the pain.

Then the actual words sink in and ah, fuck. It not being a surprise doesn't mean it doesn't hit like a punch to the gut.

With the worry comes a pinch of guilt: the house he rented is actually liveable now and he and Tami moved into it a month or so ago, but there's still a lot of work to be done and Lip's been spending every waking hour not devoted to his job or Freddie trying to get it fixed. It hasn't left him a lot of time for checking in with the rest of his familly.

”Is he okay?” he asks.

”Yeah. Well, no, he's a fucking mess, but he will be, you know. Fine. Upped his downers and booked an appointment down at the clinic on Monday, so they'll sort this shit out, get his pills adjusted or whatever. He's in bed now, sleeping it off.” Mickey lets out a sigh, distractedly reaching for a pack of cigarettes in his pocket. Lip doesn't protest when he lights up, even though he knows that Tami will say something snide about the smell when she comes home.

Let her; man looks like he can use a smoke. Lip wouldn't mind one himself, but bites back the urge to ask.

”Anyway,” Mickey continues, ”I just wanted to let you guys know, and, uh, I was thinking that maybe you'd come by someday next week. For dinner or whatever?”

Lip blinks. Sure, they ate together all the time when they were all staying at the Gallagher house, and they've shared a few meals since Lip moved his little family across the alley, so having dinner in and of itself isn't really weird – but getting an official invitation to one, and from Mickey of all people? Yeah, that's new.

His surprise must show, because Mickey makes a face. ”Yeah, I know,” he mutters. ”It's just... He hates it, you know? He's got it under control and he'll be fine but it's...  he hates it. He'll be fucking dejected and shit for weeks, even after the new meds kick in. And you guys always cheer him up, so I figured... ” He shrugs, not finishing the sentence.

It occurs to Lip that maybe it isn't easy for Mickey to come here and ask for this – to ask Lip for anything. There was a time when Lip thought Ian an absolute idiot for falling for Mickey Milkovich, and he's pretty sure Mickey knows as much, because Lip sure as hell didn't try to keep it a secret. But that was a long time ago, and as far as Lip's concerned, they've been good for years now. He's not sure if Mickey knows that, though, or feels the same way; they've never really talked about it.

So yeah, maybe it's not easy for Mickey to come here. He does it anyway; for Ian, he always will.

Lip loves him a little for that.

”Yeah, yeah, sure, man,” he says quickly, realizing that he's been silent for too long, lost in thought, and that Mickey is looking at him with something quite close to barely concealed anxiety. ”Of course we'll come.”

Mickey's shoulders drop just a fraction of an inch at that. He givs a curt nod. ”Okay. It'll probably take a few days before his, I don't know, levels are adjusted or whatever. But maybe you can keep your evenings open and I'll call you? And don't let him know I talked to you, right?” he adds, giving Lip a decidedly threatening look. ”He fucking hates it when people make a fuss.”

”Yeah, no, I know. I won't say anything. Thanks for letting me know.”

Mickey nods again, tossing his cigarette butt to the ground. Lip makes a mental note to pick it up before Tami gets back.

As Mickey makes to take off, Lip calls out, on an impulse: ”Hey, Mick.”

Mickey stops. ”What?”

”You ever hesitate?” Off Mickey's blank stare, he adds: ”Getting back together. Dealing with this for the rest of your life. You know how crazy it can get.” Knows it only all too well; Mickey had been there when Ian first fell ill and in spite of doing as well, and way better, than could possibly have been expected of him, it had not ended very well for Mickey.

That shit's gotta hurt. Looking at Mickey now, Lip thinks he can see the strain lurking under his mostly calm demeanor. See the fear, maybe.

And still Mickey glares at Lip like he's an idiot. ”Fuck no, I didn't hesitate,” he says, sounding affronted. ”It's just a fucking disease, man. We'll deal. Think I'm gonna ditch him because he has a few off days every now and then? Who the fuck doesn't have off days?”

It's more than a few off days every now and then, and they both know that – but Lip knows, too, that to Mickey, to some degree, it really is that simple. It's a disease. It's serious and it sucks, but it's not the sum total of Ian; it doesn't define him. And sure, Lip knows this on an intellectual level, as does the rest of his siblings, but he thinks that maybe Mickey is the only one who truly, fully gets it on an emotional one.

With that in mind, Lip meets Mickey's glare, unflinching. ”Still. It can get pretty rough. I guess what I'm saying is... if you, like, ever needed to talk or just, you know, take a break and hang out, I'm here.” He might not always have been great about Mickey, or great about being there for people in general, but he's been doing a lot better with the latter lately and maybe he can use whatever supportive skills he picked up at AA to do better at the former, too.

He's half convinced that Mickey will roll his eyes and walk off with an insult thrown over his shoulder, and he's fully convinced that Mickey's actually considering just that before opting to just nod again. ”Yeah,” he mutters. ”Thanks.”

”You're welcome.” Lip pauses, hesitating. But fuck it: ”I'm glad, you know. That he has you?”

And apparently that pushes the conversation too far into sentimentality because now Mickey does roll his eyes, waving his hand in a dismissive gesture. ”Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'll call you.”

He walks off. Lips pick up the cigarette butt and heads inside.

---

The call comes on Thursday morning, and a little past five in the afternoon Lip carries Freddie through the kitchen door with Tami in tow.

Liam's doing homework by the table and Mickey is stood by the stove, staring down an enormous pot of boiling water.

”Hey,” he says, sounding for all the world like he's surprised to see them, but he gives them a quick, grateful look, before jerking his head in the direction of the living room, where Ian's chilling with Debbie, Franny, and Carl in front of the TV.

Ian looks tired, and maybe even paler than normally, but he smiles readily enough when he catches sight of them. His smile widens further when Lip hands Freddie over for him to hold. ”Hey, buddy,” he coos.

”You guys staying for dinner?” Mickey calls from the kitchen. ”Made a shit ton of pasta, so there's plenty to go around.”

Lip makes a show of looking at Tami for confirmation.

”Yeah sure, why not?” she says, playing along. ”Saves me having to cook in a kitchen that's only half-existent.” She raises her voice: ”Thanks, Mickey, we'd love to.”

They chat for a while, and then Debbie and Tami starts comparing notes on child development, which for some reason is slightly unsettling – maybe because there's part of him that still thinks of Debbie as his little baby sister and hearing her talk to his baby mama like an equal is fucking strange – and eventually he, Ian and Carl move into the kitchen, leaving Freddie with Tami.

Liam puts away his homework; Ian grabs them drinks from the fridge; it's familiar and comfortable and, yeah, Lip's missed this.

He looks up and catches Ian watching him. ”So, you guys just decided to stop by, huh?” Ian asks casually.

Lips shrugs, deliberatedly not glancing toward Mickey chopping lettuce by the sink. ”Yeah, you know. Been a while since we all got together, figured it'd be nice to just drop by.”

”Uh-huh.” Ian does glance over his shoulder at Mickey, who is doing a very good job of pretending to be entirely engrossed in his salad-making and not at all listening in on any conversations. Lip keeps his face carefully blank as Ian turns back to him with a knowing look on his face. There's a hint of annoyance there; maybe a hint of resignation too, and something else that Lip can't quite decipher –

For a moment, he thinks that Ian is going to say something, but then his brother rises abruptly instead. A few long strides and he's right behind Mickey, grabbing hold of his wrist and spinning him around, which is hell of a bold move, considering that Mickey is Mickey and holding a fucking knife.

”What the – ” Mickey begins, but is quickly silenced as Ian claims his lips for a kiss.

Claims really is the right word, Lip thinks, feeling as if he should avert his eyes, but not quite managing to. It's a thorough kiss; rough; demanding. Ian's got his arms wrapped around Mickey's neck, his body pinning Mickey against the kitchen counter, and there's something possessive about it, something that – yes – speaks of claim and want and need.

Mickey's still holding the knife in one hand, half a lettuce in the other, and he can't really do much but stand there and let Ian kiss him. Not that he seems to mind in the slightest, Lip notes, and fuck it, but he never thought he'd see the day when Mickey Milkovich would just melt into Ian's arms, his kiss, so easily and so happily; so entirely without reservation, in spite of being surrounded by inlaws.

Eventually Ian lets go and steps away, walking back to the table with studied nonchalance, as if he's not, in fact, leaving his husband flushed and with swollen lips and a dazed grin. The look on Ian's face gives lie to his casual attitude, however: there's something fierce there and a hint of a satisfied smirk lurking in the corner of his mouth.

Then he sits down and blinks and is just plain old Ian again, Lip's little brother grinning easily. ”How's it going with the counter tops?” he asks. ”You convince Tami to go with the concrete ones?”

”Hell no,” Lip says, taking a sip from his coke to hide his smile. ”Apparently anything but marble or at least granite is out. She's saying we should invite Aunt Opie over, have her get so shocked over our living conditions that she offers to pay for the whole thing, but... ”

Over by the stove, Mickey returns to his salad. He's still smiling. So is Ian, as he listen to Lip detail the horrors of home renovation, and Lip thinks that maybe this time they're all going to be just fine.

[lordmartiya]

lord Martiya’s Lilanette Week 2021, part 3: Science Fiction

@lilanette-week

@lilanette

One thing she had been grateful to Lila for was her talking Chloe out of her mother’s toxic influence. She hadn’t succeeded in time to prevent the whole Miracle Queen debacle, but now she was back trying to become a good person, and even taking therapy (something Lila also sorely needed, but even if she could be talked into it there was the problem of how it would reflect on her mother’s image in the weird diplomatic circles). As an addendum, now Sabrina was in their friends group, something Marinette was usually happy for… But not right now.

“How did Sabrina guess I’m Multimouse?!” Marinette complained to Lila after they were alone.

“Her father is a police officer, one trusted with commanding groups during important operations – she’s grown around secrets just like me, she was bound to get suspicious. That, or she saw the Mirage you used to divert Chat Noir’s suspicions, and kept the secret because, well, she’s a cop’s daughter. Still, I would have expected her not to tell the others when Juleka asked about your break-up…”

That was when the Ladyblog signaled that a perfectly normal-looking punk biker had been caught trying to find the heroic Volpina and then sent flying the police officer that had confronted him about it.

“Didn’t think Alya would hesitate calling him an Akuma.” Lila said.

“After that monster in London?” Marinette asked.

“Well, let’s see what we have.”

___________________

“Let’s see… He followed the Mirage me in the Bièvre and swam back to the surface, then shrugged off impact from five rakes, a brick to the head, and even an anvil… What can we say?” Volpina asked the two other heroes as she put away the piano at their insistence.

“That you carry the weirdest things in your Miraculous?” Ladybug asked back.

“That Rena Rouge could have done a lot more had she known about what you put in there?” Chat Noir deadpanned.

“I liked the Loony Toons, so what? But aside for that?”

“It’s most likely an Akuma.” Ladybug admitted. “Though we need to talk about what else you may have in there…”

Then Mr. Pigeon arrived on a swarm of pigeons and started carrying away the not-Akuma, ranting of how he had squashed a pigeon when throwing away the anvil, while the surprisingly resilient biker tried to fight back.

“I stand corrected. Now what-Volpina?”

Volpina had pulled out a binocular and started cussing like only a Roman of Rome and few others could. Then she pulled out another thing.

“What the-an RPG-7?!” Chat Noir shouted.

“Of course not, it’s an AirTronic PSRL-1, it’s made of better steel and has better optics, though it can use the same ammunition.” came Volpina’s reply as she removed the rocket and replaced it with a larger one.

“Put that thing down!” was Ladybug’s demand.

“You’re right, Mr. Pigeon and his flying rats don’t deserve this, and I need to interrogate that overgrown mushroom before killing it. Though I really wanted to finally use the thermobaric rocket…”

With that Volpina put the weapon back in her flute and cast the illusion of a tower of peregrine falcons, scattering the pigeons and making both Mr. Pigeon and his would-be victim fall down – the latter making a metallic noise when hitting the ground. Then, as Paris’ heroes dealt with the Akumatized villain, she grabbed the biker’s weird medallion and punched through his chest, revealing him as a metallic exoskeleton for a much slimmer individual, that looked perfectly human aside for the green skin and hot pink hands.

“You’re not an Evree!” Volpina accused the green man.

“Am I really that ugly?” he replied.

“No, but I couldn’t see your face – only the Evree tracker medallion and that you just wouldn’t give up.”

“Had the owner in my escape pod, before I could eject him in space.”

“Did you finish it off?”

“I fired my thrusters in his face.

“What are you talking about?”

Volpina and the green man looked at the two other heroes and the now free Mr Ramier, the latter of which had made the question while the former two were appalled at just how the Vixen and the green man were talking of killing someone, that and the apparent overkill.

“Nothing you should worry about, Mr Ramier.” Volpina replied. “Though my colleagues may be interested.”

_______________________________________

The talk had been moved at Gustave Eiffel’s apartment over the Tower, of which Ladybug and Chat Noir had the keys. And there they learned that the Evrees that had been fought by the United Heroez and Volpina weren’t just some alien pirates but a full alien invasion of planet-looting emotion-eating fungal lifeforms that moved around the cosmo with a mothership the size of a small moon. The ones that had repeatedly raided New York had been vanguards, trying to establish a beachhead and sabotage US defenses to allow a full-scale invasion without facing the US nuclear arsenal – that they could have weathered had they not decided to try and avoid the losses that would have caused, and that they had been stopped right as their emperor had been about to deploy their full force.

“And that is why I came here to talk with you, the broadcast I intercepted spoke of your role in defeating the invaders.” the alien – whose world had been conquered by the Evrees – explained. “My world fell, we lowered our orbital defenses for a few minutes as a sign of peace after signing the commercial treaty, and before we could reactivate them they had already overran the capital.”

“My role was small.” Volpina admitted. “Yes, I beat up a few of them, and was in the strike team, but I was the distraction, Doorman got us in and out, Feniks and the Russian soldiers were the ones that deployed the hundred megaton bomb – didn’t think the Russians were crazy enough to rebuild that monstrosity, or generous enough to provide it free of charge – and Jade Turtle saved everyone more times I can count with his shields, and wrecked his back doing so.”

“Master Fu did what?!” Chat Noir shouted.

“Considering the situation, I’m more surprised he didn’t Cataclysm everything.” Ladybug stated.

“He did that, and before he could leave my uncle decided to retire me and gave him my Miraculous.” Volpina confirmed. “Found out he was the Guardian only then…”

“I don’t know what happened, but from what I found out it was you to talk the surviving commanders into turning on each other.” the alien pointed out.

“Honestly, I just helped preserving our nukes, they were weakened enough humanity’s combined missiles would have done the job. Anyway, happy to have given justice to your people.”

“They conquered my world 36 of your days ago.”

“Cosa?”

“They had another planet spaceship and emperor, and it was them who invaded my world. We had an evacuation plan in place just in case, three colony ships – the Xabra they got in orbit, the Xenia escaped but I don’t know where, and my ship, the Antra… We were coming here to warn you and give you our technology, we knew you were better warriors than us, but they had an infiltrator on board and got us near Saturn. I’m the only one who escaped, with a full database… And-”

“And I can get you in contact with those who can actually make use of it.”

____________________

It had been quick – a call to the Italian embassy in Paris, and they had been able to bring the alien (who, when someone finally asked his name, had identified himself as doctor Xarion, First Counselor for Energy for the planet Xerba) to the Élysée directly to the French president. Even after his stunt in New York, Papillon didn’t rate that high. Then the three heroes had gone back to what they had been doing before Xarion’s arrival… Or at least tried, as Lila was on the verge of a panic attack.

“Lila, what is it?”

“The Evrees!”

“What about them? You and the United Heroez already beat them once, and-”

“And next time they won’t toy with us! They’ll get serious from the start! And then they’ll-”

“A time traveler told me we’re going to win.”

There. She had said it. Marinette hadn’t wanted to reveal Bunnyx’ existence, but she just couldn’t bear to see Lila in that state. Also, she totally had to snap her out of it before she got Akumatized. And that was the most important part. Seriously.

“It… Is it true?” Lila asked.

“The Rabbit Miraculous has the power of time travel, and the Holder, Bunnyx, arrived chasing a villain created by a future Papillon and told us a few things. Including that we’re going to defeat an alien invasion.”

Lila looked Marinette for a few moments, processing what she had just been told. Then, surprising both of them, she grabbed Marinette jacked and pulled her so she could stamp a kiss on her lips.

“Oh…” the Italian said as what she had done dawned on her. “See you tomorrow, OK?”

With that, Lila bolted, leaving Marinette to stand for about half a minute before she realized what had just happened.

[kob131]

Okay, now we’re doing Mordred.

Personal statement: I’m a little miffed when it comes to the fandom and the character of Mordred. The fandom tends to portray her as a generic rambuncious tomboy or generic tsundere at best and a trans stereotype at worst. While the former is true and the latter could be true depending on what the creators’ say- there’s a LOT more to Mordred than ‘badass’, ‘tsundere’ and ‘tomboy.’

Let’s try the beginning for now. To begin with, Mordred isn’t human. She’s actually a homunculus made to be a clone of her father Arturia. This was done to her by her mother, Morgan Le Fay, as a part of a revenge plot against the king. Because of this, Mordred aged a lot faster than a normal person. As in, despite looking like a teenager, Mordred can’t be older than 9, likely a few years younger. She also likely...didn’t have a good childhood. Truth be told, little is known about Mordred’s time before the Round Table. All we do know is that however her mother raised her, it led Mordred to believe that mothers in general don’t care about their kids.

Sometime later, she joins the Round Table after being recommended by Morgan. All of this being a ploy to get her close to the king and usurp the throne for her. Slight problem there-despite being raised to hate Arturia, Mordred ended up idolizing her because of the king’s perceived inhumanity and her benevolence. She stays on the Round Table not as a spy for Morgan but rather as a genuine knight serving the king. Despite this, she still listens to her mother’s order to keep her helmet on at all times.

Near the end of Camelot, Morgan and Mordred meet up once again, with the former rather agitated that Mordred hadn’t fulfilled her purpose yet. In this exchange, Morgan lets slip just who her father was. Finding that out, Mordred went off to confront Arturia about this, hoping to be her heir. ... She got shot down. Things went...badly, oh so badly afterward. Mordred’s admiration turned to hatred for her father and drove her to commit the infamous rebellion that destroyed Camelot, betrayed her father’s trust and ultimately killed them both.

Moving on to her tenure as a Servant, she’s summoned by Kairi Shisigou in the Great Holy Grail War as the Saber of Red. Despite her dislike of magus, she and Kairi get along extraordinarily well, becoming a highly effective combo that tended to win even against highly powerful enemies. Ironically, Mordred ends up being one of the most loyal Servants in the war. This culminating in her final moments in the war. After fighting and defeating the Assassin of Red Semiriamis at the cost of her Master being mortally injured, she doesn’t attempt to ally herself with one of the Servantless Masters and instead decides to die by his side.

Later, she’s summoned in both the London and Camelot Singularities. Here we see a rather stark contrast. In London, she acts as Chaldea’s strongest ally in the Singularity, to the point she helps Mash develop as a Servant and goes out of her way to help them. In Camelot, she’s allied with the villain of the Singularity, a godly version of her father called the Lion King, and works as a brute enforcer destined to die. She also appears in the third Lostbelt...but mostly as a comparison to Spartacus so I’ll skip the details there.

So, if I had to give a word to describe Mordred, ‘Paradoxical’ would be a good one. She hates being referred to as a female but also hates being referred to as a male. She tries to act aloof but craves affection from people. Her legend is based around her betrayal and yet she’s steadfast loyal in all her appearances. She’s rough and strong but shockingly fragile at times. And while she claims to hate her father...well...

Everything traces back to her past in Camelot. Again, Mordred is actually a lot younger than she appears to be. Arturia’s reign only lasted ten years and Mordred was born during this time, meaning she’s likely well below double digits in terms of chronological age. This means Mordred is around the age when children are still highly sensitive and emotional, unable to properly control their emotions. While this is partially due to how developed their brains are, a great part of this is also life experience which Mordred severely lacks. 

Then we have her upbringing. Mordred has never directly spoken about her childhood but the one indication we get from her second Interlude (the line about mothers not caring about their kids) implies Mordred was treated rather poorly by her mother. A child around her chronological age has poor emotional maturity even if they have good parents. Remove one parent and have the other treat her poorly and you have what is an abused child stuck in the body of a teenager. The series isn’t even subtle with Mordred effectively being a kid, her attitude is constantly portrayed as immature, hyperactive and all around childish.

This is also why she took Arturia’s rejection so hard. While she asked to be Arturia’s heir, her actions and talk as a Servant seem to indicate she conflated being family to her with being her heir. So when she was rejected, it wasn’t that she was told she couldn’t be king- to her, Mordred thought she was rejected as family. To say nothing of her own insecurities about being Morgan’s child.

A few of you more familiar with the Round Table, Fate version or real, are probably thinking ‘Well, not like she was completely isolated. She must have friends within the Round Table. Hell, she has other family members, the Orkney siblings are all Morgan’s children too!’ Problem there is that she was ordered by her mother to not remove her helmet around others. You can’t really bond with someone if you have to keep your guard up at all times. As for her other family members, their interactions (like Mordred brushing off Gawain and Gareth being somewhat distant with her, not even knowing her actual gender) indicate both parties were unaware of their connection. So she had no friends or family to make up for her warped upbringing. It isn’t a concidence that once she finds an accepting father figure in Kairi, she starts to develop out of her worse traits.

Moving on, Mordred also has serious issues regarding her identity. This most obviously manifests as her contradictory stance in regards to her gender. She hates being called a woman due to the negative connotations her time period had about women and how it would disqualify her from being Arturia’s heir...but she can’t be treated as a man either, as that denies who she is. This continues on into her legend as well: at first she sounds proud of her rebellion and her betrayal...but other more personal times she indicates she regrets what she did and hates herself for it. She claims to have surpassed her father as a knight in one breath then calls herself third-rate and a poor knight in the next. She supposedly embraces her legend as a traitor...yet refuses to betray her allies and stays loyal. She tries to act like she’s some big bad villain who doesn’t care but she tries to uphold her knight’s honor as any member of the Round Table would.

All in all, she comes across as someone trying to look and seem strong...because she’s been wounded one too many times.

This is especially notable with her feelings towards her father. On the surface, she talks big about hating her father. And superficially, it seems to add up as she constantly challenges and fights against Arturia. And yet, her wish on the Holy Grail is to pull the sword Caliburn from the stone, trying to prove herself to her father. She actually hates it when someone insults her father, she still tries to act as a knight under her father. And in Apocrypha, in her final fight, it turns out there’s a specific reason WHY she’s trying to prove herself by drawing Caliburn and not, say, beating her father in a fight or surviving Camalann: She wants to draw Caliburn so her father doesn’t. Because being king caused untold pain and suffering for Arturia and deep down, Mordred wanted her to be happy.

In the end, Mordred comes off as a deeply flawed, deeply damaged person. Someone who was robbed of any kind of choice or chance at a good life, trying her best to make the most of her mistakes. And yet, she tries her best to care for the people she loves, even the person who seemed to hurt her the most. And through the chances others give her, she becomes a better and better person.

She’s just a child who needs what all children need: love and guidance.

[midnightactual]

Uniforms and Loyalty

I’ve got an interesting aside to my uniforms post (which I’m still working on; it’s a lot) that I’ll make separately since that post is going to be so long as it is. The official colorization sometimes yields up some insights like these:

This is what I’ve provisionally dubbed Mk. 1 Mod. 0 from Yoruichi’s flashback in chapter 130.

And this is what I’ve provisionally dubbed Mk. 1 Mod. 1 from Soifon’s flashback in chapter 159. Look carefully below the obi at Yoruichi’s waist.

You’ll notice that the cut of the uwagi between Mod. 0 and Mod. 1 are exactly the same; they both have the same flaps at the front and back. It’s pretty clear that these are extensions to the uwagi itself and not a separate article of clothing. (In my previous colorations of the latter panel, I’d assumed that they flaps were separate and had left them as white.)

In other words, it’s the same kind of uwagi. The differences are obviously that one is white, and one is orange, with the orange one having the white/sliver plates or straps at the shoulders. This uwagi is obviously the same style as the later ones other than that those will have the flaps removed. (Yoruichi obviously has several of them, given the first is destroyed by Shunkō during the fight with Soifon yet she has one on later when confronting Yammy.)

We also know that Mod. 1 is being worn once Yoruichi has already become Sōshireikan (Supreme Commander) of the Onmitsukidō. It thus seems pretty logical to assume that Mod. 0 is her uniform from when she was Gundanchō (Unit Commander) of the Punishment Force of the Onmitsukidō, as when (or if) she was rank-and-file Onmitsukidō, she would’ve likely been attired like Soifon and the other members.

In other words, that uwagi is probably a symbol of rank, much like the haori of Taichō in the Gotei 13, although it may not be standardized in the same way. Meaning that either the orange color itself, or the structures on the shoulders, symbolize her rank. (As for those, they seem less like epaulettes and more like pteruges, which would also sort of resemble the straps at her hips on her battle suits.)

What seems most likely to me is that the uwagi signifies being a Unit Commander in the Onmitsukidō and the pteruges signify that she is the Supreme Commander. So why is it orange when it was white before? Well, that’s the unit color of 2nd Division, and it’s also on the liner of her haori. She’s often wearing the uwagi around 2nd Division, but not her haori; it continues to communicate that she is also a Captain, in a fashion that reflects her dual-hatted command. (Wearing the shihakushō is likely a concession to them being “integrated” into the Gotei 13.)

Okay, cool story; so what? Well, doesn’t that make it interesting that she continues to strut around in a military uniform that loudly declares, “I am the Sōshireikan and 2nd Division Taichō,” even when invading Soul Society and thereafter? It seems to be her own statement that she never surrendered that office. (Much like Kisuke wears what’s basically an inverted haori; indeed, one might ask why Yoruichi didn’t show up in her actual haori in Fade to Black when he did, and the answer is that she’s already wearing an emblem of office.)

So, why are they still wearing gear that’s either directly from or suggestive of their service and ranks? I’m biased here, obviously, as I have my own take on Yoruichi’s backstory and view of the Gotei 13 and I’m not interested in changing that based on this, so other perspectives are possible, but my view is it comes down to three things:

Spite: “You left us, we didn’t leave you.”

Pride: “We are the actual legitimate inheritors of this institution.”

Protest: “We never committed betrayal.”

This suggests a view to the effect of, “We serve the realm, and we showed true loyalty when you did not." A more compact way of putting it would be, “We are patriots.” It would seem that what they demonstrate patriotism to is the ideal of what Soul Society could be (as espoused by Kaien, Rukia, et al.) rather than what it actually is, let alone the actual chain of command and authorities in charge of it. (Loyalty is of course always more complicated than just following orders, especially when questions of loyalty to what are involved.)

This would further suggest that the kind of low-key detachment between the Urahara Shōten and the Vizard we see in canon, and between the former and Isshin, might arise out of different ideas of what loyalty is and means. The Vizard initially seem uninterested in working with Soul Society at all, only for 5/8 of their number to join back up—a step the Shōten members clearly don’t take. (Isshin, meanwhile, remains wholly aloof throughout and seems largely uninterested in coordinating with anyone.) But exploring that is rather more speculative.