#And we don't really see gaara have other friends

[inadragon]

I love GaaHina arranged marriage aus bc Gaara is so aromantic and awkward and too insecure in his ability to love to seek a close intimate relationship for himself. But also he wants to be known and loved and intimate with somebody and share his life completely.

And Hinata is socially awkward and anxious and sweet and caring. And maybe she's romantically attracted to gaara and maybe she isn't, but she knows he'll always take care of her and she'll always take care of him.

[crusty-chronicles]

Airheaded S/O Headcannons #13: Gaara (Naruto)

Legitimately hates you when you first meet

Which to be fair, he kinda hated everyone during the Chuunin Exams

But something about you amplified that hatred

Maybe it was the fact you always had a dopey smile on your face

Maybe it was how you won your match against the sound ninja by stumbling around (literally tripping or looking around last second so their attack barley missed you)

Or maybe, just maybe it was because you were so nice to him.

Didn't you have a clue what he was?

What he was capable of?

All the horrible things he was planning on doing to one of your peers? (That Uchiha kid really did get on his nerves.)

It was truly disgusting, that smile of yours filled with so much warmth.

Then you'd volunteered to be his opponent when Sasuke was late. Your own opponent he'd killed the night before.

"Why don't we fight each other since the people we're supposed to fight are missing? It's better than sitting here and doing nothing."

And it was the audacity of you to address him so formally that made him agree.

He was going to enjoy defeating you. Finally shut you up once and for all.

But when the fight started, something about your demeanor changed.

It was more focused, your chakra somehow stronger.

There was no longer a fool in front of him.

And when the match started, he once again found himself on the offense.

Sand barely able to protect him against your speed. It was like he was fighting Rock Lee all over again

And that made him mad.

So mad that he became more aggressive with his attacks.

You now the one being pushed back.

It would have been evenly matched. Key word: would've.

But like the fool you were, you mis-stepped and took a direct hit from his sand.

The granules wrapping around you and preparing to crush you into nothing.

But before he could put you down for good, you extended your arm out.

"I surrender." And that bright smile was back.

"That was a good match. It truly was an honor to fight you, Gaara."

He stopped his attack immediately out of sheer confusion.

You were the enemy.

He was supposed to help destroy your village

Yet here you were treating him like he was more than that.

Like he wasn't just a monster.

You called fighting him an 'honor'. Something you enjoyed rather than being a nuisance like he thought.

What was wrong with you

Gaara thought a lot about that day.

How he almost destroyed the Leaf

How Naruto had completely changed his perspective on life.

But more often than not, he thought about you.

And when he finally got to see you again during Rock Lee's battle with Kimimaro, the first thing he did was apologize.

"It's a pleasure to be meeting you again. I'd like to apologize for my behavior during the Chuunin Exams, especially towards you."

The way your face lit up had his own reddening.

"Thank you! And it's nice to see you're doing better."

He realizes he's actually grown fond of your dopey smile.

Because of Gaara's soft spot for you, you're constantly doing runs for the Hokage to the Sand Village

It's mostly to keep relations peaceful between the villages, Gaara being the new Kazekage and all.

But you don't have a clue. You just think you get a free trip to see your friend 🥺🥺🥺

It's during your time there that Gaara really notices your lack of brain.

No, you can't put a smiley face as a signature on important documents.

Please stop jumping from tall heights so his sand will catch you. He can only control it so much.

You cannot be lost at a time like this. You were just behind him five minutes ago????

He practically follows you around like a lost puppy so you don't get hurt.

That means being your personal escort between villages.

Even though he knows you're more than capable of protecting yourself.

He just can't risk something happening to you.

You're too precious. (Being one of his first friends alongside Naruto.)

After confiding in Kankuro once, it's then he's told all warmth he feels from being near you is love.

Something he never thought he'd ever experience.

Something he was told he never deserved.

And he figures you must like him too with how adamant you are to stay by his side, right?

Maybe not

He doesn't exactly know how these things work.

Courting you is a process he is extremely unfamiliar with.

Tries to ask for help from his siblings

Kankuro suggests buying you gifts and 'flirting'

Tamari suggests he just outright tell you his feelings.

Both prove to be a trial-and-error process.

You're thankful for the little things he gives you, but your face doesn't redden as his does with you.

He tells you he likes your eyes only for it to turn back to him when you tell him he has a kind heart.

How is he to top that?

Tries Tamari's method and just feels more defeated.

"I enjoy the time you spend here with me."

"I like being here with you two 😃"

"I should rephrase. I like you."

"Me too. I'm so glad we're friends!"

He decides to go about it his own way and maybe, just maybe you'll return his feelings.

"Do you remember how I was back then?" He asked as the both of you sat atop a building. The sun just beginning to set.

"Yup. You were a little mean at the Chuunin Exams. I thought you were gonna kill me for a second."

And that makes him panic for a second because if you thought that back then, there was no way you'd return his feelings. But he pushed on. No use going back now.

"There's a reason for that. When I was a child, I was told I was undeserving of love. That I was brought into this world hated. My only purpose was to live for myself, everybody else wanted me to die."

He was stunned when you placed your hand on his.

"You are deserving of love and happiness. I love you, you know?"

He was not expecting this turn of events. He planned of finishing his rant with 'Now I have plenty to live for. You are one of those reasons.'

Not for you to outright say you loved him

It was so unexpected that he didn't realize he started crying until you fussed over him.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry!!! Please don't be sad!!!"

And he has to reassure you they're tears of happiness. That right now he was the most content he's ever been.

Because of your smooth brain, you ask him how he can be happy when he's crying.

He ends up pulling you into a kiss and that's where the dots connect for you.

Gaara has the biggest soft spot for you. It only makes sense that everything he calls you is with all the love he has.

Love, sweetheart, honey, dear, precious, my heart.

Not ashamed to call you all those things in public like some of the other candidates in this series.

Surprisingly, Gaara doesn't get jealous. He's very secure in his ability to make you happy and about your feelings for him. He doesn't doubt that for a second.

However, if you're gone too long on a mission, he might get a little insecure. The feeling is quickly gone as soon as you get back.

He is completely enamored with you and your heart. Your empty head is a quirk he's also learned to enjoy.

MASTERLIST

An: The final chapter to our main Airhead Stronk S/O series. That doesn't mean the series is officially over!!!! I'll be doing bonus chapters via requests or characters I think deserve love. They're probably gonna take a while tho so I can focus on finishing my Moon and Sun series. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT

[dreadsuitsamus]

Satisfied | Kakashi Hatake x Reader |

author's note: this is a WIP that i actually finished today haha i started this many months ago and picked it back up yesterday. i apologize if you can tell what's old and what's new 🙈 this is a fluffy modern au where the reader and kakashi are elementary school teachers!

pairing: kakashi hatake x fem!reader

warnings: pregnant!reader, no plot just fluff

Hatake Kakashi leans against his wooden desk, waiting patiently for his young students to calm themselves after they'd returned from their lunch period. He's a laid-back teacher that doesn't mind letting his students socialize a tad more than was maybe necessary at times. He learns a lot about the children this way; he studies their friendships, their rivalries, and even some inklings of a crush in a few of them. It sure made planning the seating chart fun, whenever he decided to change things up.

"Naruto!" He says sharply as the fifth-grader held a pair of scissors to the ponytail of a girl that routinely made it clear she didn't like him. Kakashi wasn't exactly a fan of how Ino would exclude the blond boy, but he surely wasn't going to let Naruto cut her long, beautiful platinum hair. The last thing he needed was screaming, and the calls to the parents, then the paperwork... He shudders at the thought of it all.

Naruto scowls at his teacher and stuffs his scissors back into his pencil box, crossing his arms and turning his head so Kakashi can't see his face. It was enough to elicit a soft chuckle from Kakashi, and by then the class had calmed down and focused their attention onto Mr. Kakashi, as he had introduced himself at the beginning of the school year.

"Oh, is it my turn?" He jokes softly before standing tall, hands stuffed into his pockets. "For the rest of the day, we'll be outside and painting with Mrs. Hatake's class."

The classroom erupts into cheers. The most fun they ever got to have during school was when Mr. Kakashi and Mrs. Hatake teamed up. Kakashi held a thin finger to his nose and lips, indicating to his students to hold it down. He smiles pleasantly when even Naruto collectes himself and hushes up.

"Leave all of your belongings and line up by the door; and be quick! We're already late."

"We're always late." Sakura frowns. Kakashi could only wonder why she was upset; perhaps because a certain black-haired boy is in Mrs. Hatake's class?

"Time is merely made up." Kakashi shrugs before leading the way out of the classroom, each student neatly in line. Not even Naruto was willing to see what would happen if he tried misbehaving while they walked through the school; Mr. Kakashi once said that he had eyes on the back of his head and he certainly didn't want to see them!

The kids cheer when they get out of the building and ran towards Mrs. Hatake's class. The newspapers, the paint, the brushes, all of it was already set up and ready to go. The other students are patiently waiting and chatting generally amongst themselves, whereas you, Mrs. Hatake yourself, stand waiting with crossed arms and an unimpressed eyebrow when Kakashi finally approaches.

Kakashi rubs the back of his head, smiling weakly and laughing nervously. "Ah..."

"Save it." You snort and turn to the students. "Alright everyone, settle down! Before we start painting, make sure to put on your aprons so you don't mess up your nice clothes!"

Sakura and Ino both squeal as they rush to collect an apron and make it back to the table before someone could take the spots beside Uchiha Sasuke, who already has an apron on. Naruto runs and picks up two aprons, rushing back to his friend Gaara, who was generally too nervous to involve himself in a crowd. Gaara smiles and thanks his best friend with a strong hug that Naruto's more than eager to return. They really are the cutest boys in the bunch, in your opinion.

When all of the children are ready to go, you pass out thick pieces of paper, talking as you go. "I want you all to paint whatever you want! Your pets, your friends, your favorite superheroes, anything! Just express yourselves today. As long as you turn in a painting, you get a hundred!"

"Yes!" Naruto cheers. He didn't get many hundreds on anything, so he's quite determined to rock this painting activity.

The kids start their paintings, so you and Kakashi settle in your own spots on the benches to paint your own things. You make eye contact and share a small smile, a fluttering feeling in your swollen belly passing by, before getting started. "So what will you be painting, Mr. Kakashi?" You absentmindedly swipe a hand over your baby bump; in just a few more weeks it'll be time for your maternity leave!

"Hmmm, I'm not sure yet, Mrs. Hatake." He hums softly. He sure loves saying your name. "How about you?"

"Well, I'm going to paint my beloved cat Julian." You grin smugly. Oh how Kakashi despises that cat.

"The entire world, and you choose a cat? And not only that, but the dumbest one in this world?" Kakashi narrows his eyes with a scowl. Julian was a good kitty, he could admit that. It's the idiotic antics that the orange fella got up to that irritate him to no end, and he's gotten worse since you got pregnant. He's a bit like Naruto, if he really thinks about it. But Naruto's definitely smarter than that cat, at least.

"Ehhhh?!?!" Footsteps quickly approach you and your husband.

Kakashi's eye twitches before he dares look at the only student who can get that loud. "Naruto! What's wrong?"

And thus begins Naruto's rant about Sasuke, his rival since kindergarten. You laugh softly and rub your lips together in an effort to hold yourself back, continuing on painting your cat while Kakashi stares blankly at his student and tries comprehending why he's so upset about Sasuke improvising and making purple paint with the red and blue paints, since Naruto had stolen the purple paint just to spite Sasuke in the first place.

Perhaps Julian has the edge on Naruto after all.

Even young Gaara, a student of your own, has his head hung in shame with a palm plastered to his face. At that, you couldn't contain your laughter. "Naruto, honey." You chuckle softly. "Why don't you get him back and see what happens when you mix red and yellow?"

Naruto nods roughly and runs back to his seat, and moments later he cheers for his success in the making of his favorite color. Kakashi smiled and looked at you with gentle eyes. "How do you do it?"

"I just think how he would and then go from there." You shrug and glide the paintbrush over the paper. "It doesn't make him feel dumb and he learns something new."

"You'd be better off as his teacher than me."

"I don't know about that one. You have quite the knack for kids, even if your style is different from most." You wink at your husband and quietly continue painting.

Kakashi smiles to himself and begins working on his own canvas, but with his own watercolor set instead. He took some art classes back in college, so he decides to put his skills to the test with this project. Being with you gives him inspiration like that, when otherwise he would just be lazy and draw something simple, like an apple with a worm in it. There were endless reasons why he loved you and married you; the way you made him feel and the confidence you gave him were very high up on that list of answers.

You check your watch and issue a ten-minute warning to the students to finish up so their paintings can dry before they go home for the day, and that they could have a whole hour of recess after you called time. Little hands quickly hurry their brush strokes and reach for different bottles of paint as they perfect their masterpieces.

Kakashi hums softly, intently focusing on his canvas. "I wonder what they've all made." He continues to focus on his artwork, diligently ensuring each stroke of his brush is perfect. Hatake Kakashi had yet to be bad at something in his life, so you already knew whatever he was envisioning was going to come out onto that canvas exactly as planned.

You allow Kakashi the time to continue his work and take on the task of getting each student cleaned up on your own. At their current age, they mostly were able to keep themselves free of the paint, save for a few dots here and there on their hands.

"Naruto..." You sigh, rubbing your face tiredly. Even with an apron that was bigger than his little body, he managed to get paint on his face, arms, and the shoulder of his t-shirt. You already know his mother, Kushina, would tear into him when his father brought him home from school. Minato picks the boy up every day, ever since the incident with Naruto and the mud pies happened when his mother picked him up... She was still fully deserving of her title as the Red-Hot Habanero that she'd been given when you were in grade school with her, you learned that day.

Naruto pouts and averts your gaze. It seemed he was also well aware of his mother's ire, but he just wasn't able to control himself enough to avoid the consequences just yet. You offer your hand and take him inside to clean up, and when you're done he runs to join up with his friends on the playground. "Don't get dirty again!" It was a fruitless demand, but you at least had to try.

"As if that could ever happen." Kakashi snorts. Seemed he'd finished his task while you were cleaning up Naruto.

"All I can do is try." You sigh with a shrug and start walking around the tables to get a look at everyone's artwork.

You pause in front of Sasuke's canvas. With a deep sigh, your hand absentmindedly moves over your heart, the other coming to rub against where your baby's just kicked you. Sasuke's painted himself with a first-aid kit in one hand and a medical degree in the other, a big smile on his face. His dream is to become a doctor and cure the disease that's befallen his elder brother, Itachi. You were Itachi's teacher as well when he was Sasuke's age, and to think that a bright young boy like him would become too frail and sick to achieve his true potential was enough to bring tears to your eyes. Sasuke is determined to cure his big brother, and you know nothing will stand in his way.

"Hopefully he's given the chance." Kakashi murmurs, looking at the painting from over your shoulder. He presses a swift kiss to the back of your head, snaking a hand around your midsection to hold your body to his, running his hand over your belly in a wide, swift stroke before he continues his journey around the table.

Gaara painted himself and Naruto playing at the beach, building a sandcastle together. Sakura and Ino both painted themselves holding hands with Sasuke, though you could tell they'd sabotaged one another by swirling green paint through each other's drawings of themselves. You sigh and shake your head; you really hope one day they'll grow out of their rivalry that merely exists because of a boy of all people and become wonderful women with their own motivations. And if they don't, they are set to be in for one tough ride with Mrs. Tsunade Senju when they got to high school.

"Choji needs a hobby." Kakashi muses. The boy's canvas reflects a rather delicious looking meal, but then again, that's what he always turns in for artwork projects.

"Eating is his hobby." You snicker, gazing at Shikamaru's work of art, a lazy attempt at drawing the sky. The paper is simply painted blue, with a yellow circle for the sun and puffy clouds outlined in black. He hadn't even filled in the clouds with white paint! "Shikamaru could use some of Choji's inspiration, that's for sure."

"Sure..." Kakashi keeps eyeing Choji's artwork. "Let's go out for dinner tonight." He murmurs.

"Only if you're buying."

Your husband shrugs noncommittally. "It's a date."

You smile and move beside him, squeaking softly when he puts his arm around you and pulls you into his side, a large hand rubbing the side of the swollen tummy housing his child. "'Kashi…"

"Hmmm?" He hums, not taking his eyes off the students as they play on the playground.

"PDA, with the students so close?"

It isn't a secret you two are married. Of course all of the staff know about it; you two married just one year after you started working at Konoha Elementary. You met in and dated throughout college, and now you're heavily pregnant with your first child together. Hell, if the students were astute enough to put two and two together when they learned both of your last names, they could have figured it out themselves ages ago. In every school year there's eventually a turning point where the students realize your relationship; so far this particular set of students haven't figured it out.

"Shhh... Enjoy the moment. One day that'll be our little darling out there. Playing with their friends..." Kakashi's dark eyes are practically swimming in eagerness and pride. He has such high hopes for the baby, and plans to help them succeed in any way possible. Hatake Kakashi had yet to be bad at something in his life, and he won't let insecurities with himself and his relationship with his father cloud his ability to care for his own child.

You laugh softly. "Not for quite some time, 'Kashi. They aren't even born yet!"

"Time is made up, but it passes in the blink of an eye." He mumbles, eyes still carefully watching the kids.

"You do have a point." You hum and keep a watchful eye over the students, allowing them to play without interruption.

After some time, you cup your hands around your mouth. "Alright everyone, let's come and present our pictures!"

The students eagerly run back over and sit in front of their now dried paintings. "You don't all have to present, but those that do want to are encouraged to do so!" You smile sweetly at all those little faces. This bunch of kids are so special. They're so smart and silly and good friends to one another. It's been a while since you liked a class this much.

Naruto leads the charge, naturally, and then various students volunteer to share after. Everyone gets a turn to present, and you rub your belly as you show the kids your painting. "This is my kitty, Julian!"

"He's so cute!" Sakura squeals. You grin and put your picture down, thanking the class as they compliment your artwork.

"Does anyone else want to share?"

"Mr. Kakashi, I wanna see yours! You never share!" Ino pouts, crossing her arms.

The rest of the kids cheer and pout with her, demanding to see what he spent so long working on. Kakashi laughs nervously and runs his fingers through his silver hair, cheeks tinged red. He glances at you and you smile softly, nodding encouragingly. He carefully picks up his watercolor work and holds it up for the class.

"Wooooooow…" The students hum in harmony, amazed at what a great job their teacher did.

He's put extra care into this, that much is obvious. It's of a very pregnant woman holding hands with a silver-haired man, the both of them smiling. You wipe a stray tear from your eye and rub at your belly, gazing at your husband with all the love in your heart.

"Hey…" Naruto cocks his head, perking a brow. "Mr. Kakashi, that looks like you!"

"It is." Kakashi responds simply.

"And…" His lips twist as he puts the pieces together. But ultimately it's Shikamaru that figures it out.

His eyes go wide with shock. "That's him and Mrs. Hatake!"

"Mr. Kakashi!" Ino scolds Kakashi. "That's weird!"

"How is that weird??" Kakashi holds his hands up, failing to fight his urge to laugh at the accusation.

"You're making it seem like…" Sasuke starts quietly, and Gaara finishes his sentence. "Like you love Mrs. Hatake."

"Well, I do love her. She is my wife, after all."

You, frankly, were not prepared for all of the screaming. Laughter bubbles out of you as the kids crowd around, asking questions a mile a minute and looking between you and your husband like you suddenly sprouted tails. Kakashi can't even hide his amusement and does his best to answer all of the questions.

"We met in college."

"We've been married for five years."

"I did not tell a single lie to you guys. You just never asked my last name."

"Yes, I've heard her fart."

"Thaaaaaat's enough." You scowl at your laughing husband. "Time to head back inside for dismissal."

"Awww…" The kids hang their heads low and pick up their paintings, lining up to go back inside. You and Kakashi lead the way back, your classrooms across the hall from each other.

Kakashi smirks and sneaks in a quick kiss to your lips, which prompts the students to lose it once again. You snort and pat his cheek twice, perhaps with a little more force than normal as revenge, and then move into your classroom.

Kakashi laughs to himself and does the same, his chest light and happy. And once the students have left the building, he meets you in your classroom, leaning on the doorframe and watching you quickly fill in the perfect scores in your gradebook. You glance over and blow him a kiss, which he catches and places into his shirt pocket.

"So, where are you taking me?" You ask, filing away the book and gathering your purse.

"I was thinking ramen?"

"Hmm, I like that train of thought. Might keep you around just a bit longer now."

Kakashi chuckles, stepping towards you with his hands in his pockets and a small smirk on his face. "Just a bit?"

"Might let you stay longer if you rub my feet tonight." You purr with a little laugh, taking his extended hand so you can stand up easier. Kakashi wastes no time in capturing your lips, rubbing your swollen baby bump with both hands and massaging lightly. He's always been clear with his love, but ever since your belly started growing bigger and bigger, he's been unable to stop himself from showering you with more and more love and attention.

"If that's what it takes…" He says against your lips, kissing you for a moment more before he continues. "I'll rub anything you want for the rest of my days."

You smile against him and rub his chest. "C'mon. Get me outta here already; this bra can't come off soon enough."

Your husband smirks and pulls at the clasps through your shirt, somehow unlatching the three hooks. You gasp, affronted at the audacity of that man. Kakashi, however, howls in laughter as his long legs rush him out the room and towards the car, his silver hair falling in his eyes as you're helpless to chase him in your current state. You shake your head with a small chuckle and lock up the classroom before heading out yourself.

That's alright, You think to yourself.

Just for that he's grading all my kid's homework next week!

[kazekage-libra]

Gaara & dating

Fluff city. SFW headcanons and gender neutral for the homies.

He and S/o knew each for years after he had changed. S/o was part of the very first few people he made friends with. Very awkward start to friendship.

Gaara wouldn't be able to start a romantic relationship with someone he wasn't friends with first. As a young adult, he was comfortable at the thought of romantic possibilities and to see if it was something he wanted.

Kankuro and Gaara talked about dating and how people went about quite a few times. Kankuro dated but more secretly. He had a boo or 2 every so often but never committed, "Dating is weird to be completely honest. Just make sure you like each other at the bare minimum. I'm not sure if I'll be married but everyone I see, I genuinely like something about them; looks and personality."

Temari even tried explaining how she felt towards Shikamaru when they finally started seeing each other. "At the end of the day, it looks and feels different for everyone. So try not to follow everything you hear and see. But, a big thing, not everyone succeeds the first time with dating. It takes work, you have to learn about yourself and the other person together."

Gaara didn't know how to go about it all still but he knew he wanted to ask S/o how they felt about it all and what their experience had been, "Kind of love that we are close enough for you even ask. Mmm... I guess not terrible. I don't know, dating is fun but also weird. Being single is nice when it comes to certain things but I do personally want a long term companion."

It kind of clicked for S/o during the conversation that Gaara was trying to decide if he should ask them out or not. "Wanna go out sometime, Gaara (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)"

The first few dates, they have them at home. Cooking for each other, showing each other stuff they have they like, and of course Gaara cacti collection.

S/o being awkward in the beginning would give Gaara light hugs and kept them quick. They ended up feeling bad when he expressed he wanted to hug tightly like everyone else.

Which led to endless cuddling on most dates. Gaara really enjoyed the closeness of someone just holding him. They would fall asleep in each other's arms frequently.

S/o in public would brush his hand or touch his shoulder. If they went to a fancy restaurant that was low key, they would hold hands. Later on kisses on the cheek. Gaara gets so much love and attention. He doesn't know what to do with himself. He's just happy about it.

[awinterrosesstuff]

Hiruzen Sarutobi... or the character that confuses me the most. I don't know what to make of him. Let me explay you why.

When we're introduced to him, he's pretty old, wise and powerful. He even seens nice. He is amused by Naruto's antics. You want to sympathise with him. And honestly why not ? There are things that infuriate me during the chunin exams (the fact it even exists). Then you have his ending. It's executed very well. I did find it badass. You see his regrets, his weaknesses (with Orochimaru), his summon clearly tells him he's weak or pathetic (I can't remember the word) but he does the sacrifice. You can see it's very difficult for him, he struggles a lot. During the chunin exams, we get to see how scary Orochimaru is. Everything is made to show that Hiruzen was very powerful in his days and became weak with getting old. But still, he does his best and makes the sacrifice with the hope of a better future. Plus the fight between Gaara and Naruto does a great work as a parallel of this one.

It's actually interesting to see that even if Hiruzen can be powerful and brave, he can be very weak and a coward in so many ways. You do see it with Orochimaru, but also with how he let Danzo do whatever he wants, and how he let the villagers and everyone in Konoha treats Naruto like shit. It doesn't show him in a positive way obviously, but it makes him interesting, even human I'd say. But I have a main beef with him or the way he's written.

I think his role is never properly adressed in everything that went wrong in Konoha. Danzo and Orochimaru are treated as the villains they are. The narrative put the blame on Danzo for the Uchiha massacre - as it needed. But it kind of forgets Hiruzen in the process.

Sasuke, when he ressurects the kages with Orochimaru's help, questions him. And he's fucking right to do it. Why did the hokage let the massacre happen ? We're said that Danzo ordered the massacre and manipulated Itachi in doing it. But what about Hiruzen ? We get to learn that he wanted a diplomatic solution, but never had the occasion to find it. Is it because he didn't really bother or because Danzo didn't take his decision in consideration ? Probably a bit of both. But why did Danzo have such power in the first place ? Because Hiruzen is a coward. That's it. But the narrative doesn't really blame him, as if he's supposed to be the good "guy". We even have Minato put the blame on himself. And I was like "what ?". Minato has faults, that's not the subject. But the massacre happened because Hiruzen didn't do his job (protecting his villagers). I would have prefered if Hiruzen was clearly blamed for it. And it's actually insulting for Sasuke who is just there to be honest.

I'd like to add Hiruzen letting Danzo do everything he wanted (like having his fucking army) did cause problems to other problems. Kabuto and Sai come to mind.

I want to talk about Naruto. It's never (but really never) adressed that Hiruzen failed Naruto. The boy was ostracised because he was the host of Kurama... and what did Hiruzen do ? I'm not saying he should have adopted him... but he could have done more (like finding him a family). And the secret was obviously revealed, or no adult would know Naruto had Kurama sealed in him. Hiruzen was the one with the power there, he could have done something more. Well, what really bothers me is the fact that it's not said that Hiruzen failed to keep his promise and to protect Naruto, the jinchuriki of his village. Naruto never had the opportunity to do. He's angry against the villagers, but never the hokage. And I do find it weird. The narrative could have so easily done it. It would have even been better for Naruto's dream.

He wants to be hokage to protect his friends, and his village. That's great. But imagine if Naruto said something like "I will find ways to be better than Hiruzen. I don't want the children to be treated like they were during his time". It could have been a parallel to his resolve at the ending of Zabuza arc when he says he wants to find his nindo and be the ninja he wants (not the other way around). It's badly written, but do you get the message ?

Anyway... I do believe Hiruzen could be a great character if he wasn't praised so much in the manga. And I hope I made my opinion clear with this post.

[tamelee]

Do ppl genuinely believe gaara has a crush on naruto? I thought it was a joke 😭 the jokes like gaara hating sasuke are funny but they're far from true considering in canon he cried for sasuke and tried to tell him to return. He told naruto later on that sasuke's not planning on coming back bc it was true, not bc he's jealous or some shit 💀 it was naruto who got upset at that and shoved his hand away, and also bc gaara made it clear that if in the war sasuke is on the enemy team then he won't hold back and will go for the kill. He's just another person who doesn't care about sasuke anymore which is why naruto got mad. To me only naruto and sasuke being romantically in love makes any sense, when ppl bring in not only gaara but even shikamaru, neji, Lee, sai it just seem like a joke bc wtf? Most of those ppl are pretty openly straight anyway. It seems like only sasunaru fans do this, they think every man around naruto wants him and is jealous of sasuke and sasuke's not a good bf but all of that is pure projection and stupidity and they act like incels when they treat naruto like some helpless girl with her Chad bf who should instead be with the nice guys. Anyway that went sorta off topic but yeah I don't think gaara's actually in love. Or if he is, he's not the jealous type bc I admit if he was a girl, even dudebros might see it with him. It's just that naruto has it part of his character that everyone worships him sooner or later. Whenever he changes someone they become his fan and act like he's God. Gaara, neji, shikamaru, pain, obito, tsunade. Sasuke's the only special one bc their relationship is actually different and special. But even for him sometimes some sns fans reduce him to a naruto worshipper in sns fics. Or they talk about the "i'm in naruto's world, I'm blessed to exist" quote that seems an awful lot like idol worship. I hate when they reduce sasuke and his relationship to naruto to that, that's hinata's job, to be naruto's personal slave, not sasuke. And if you remember this while analyzing gaara he just seems like yet another character that got reduced to a naruto dick sucker, that's all.

Gaara and Sai openly straight Nonee? xD I understand your points, but I do think you’re doing yourself a HUGE disservice if you think Gaara is just a... *checks* 👀... “Naruto dick sucker”... 

... kinda falls short, no? Their bond is distinct, and categorizing it as similar to Naruto's other connections, especially when most are comrades at best. Villagers conditionally acknowledge Naruto because they see him as useful until he proves otherwise, and that includes the majority of his... friends. Naruto said it himself, he doesn’t trust them (I HAVE A THEORY ABOUT THIS REGARDING 'HOPE' TBH I’LL FINISH THAT DRAFT SOON FINALLY LOL) This lack of trust is evident again during his fight with Kurama.

With Gaara, it is very uniquely a bond of their own regardless whether someone believes it is romantic or not and it doesn’t really have anything to do with Sasuke, so I’m not sure how to feel about a comparison? 

However, Naruto's connection with Gaara does share some similarities with his bond with Sasuke; hurting for Gaara’s pain because he understood it as fellow Jinchuuriki, or hurting for Sasuke’s pain and burdens but going on a journey because he wanted to understand (‘we could’ve been in each other’s shoes, Sasuke’). These bonds also relate to the system itself, which is closely interlinked. Hence, Sasuke shouting at Naruto for not understanding in VotE1. But it's not the same thing, and that's perhaps one of the most significant differences between Naruto's bonds with Sasuke and Gaara, don't you think? The contrasting pain (regarding that understanding) he felt played a crucial role in his learning process. "I felt less pain when I escaped loneliness, but Gaara was lonelier for longer and Sasuke has to live with this burden... which is unbearable, what can I do?" Collaboration only becomes possible when you can truly understand one another. The same was seen during the Shinobi War when they had to unite as a single alliance. Gaara references this several times.

That understanding transcends national borders, and it's an integral part of Naruto's Ninja Way. It's also a way to demonstrate that mutual understanding could potentially unite the Nations, but that's a different topic. What remains consistent is Naruto's anger towards the entire system when it becomes personal and disregarding what is seen as 'appropriate Shinobi behavior'. (Lmao not those anti-Naruto post claiming Naruto was fine with everything altogether 😭 ffs, delete.) 

Of course Naruto’s emotions played a huge part in him going feral. It was primarily triggered by Gaara's death, but even before that Kurama's Chakra was slipping through as he was learning about himself, Jinchuuriki and discovering new things that Konoha, and even Jiraiya, whom he trained with for years, had never shared with him. Our boy was seriously going through it, but this drive wasn’t just him showing Shonen Hero behavior to ‘stop the bad guys from gaining power’ or grieving a friends’ death at that moment even.

Naruto had every right to be furious. This is the same anger that says, 'If you Shinobi of the Leaf hadn't placed a monster in me,' and 'Did any of you even try to ask ME how I felt?!!' But, of course, Naruto repressed his anger and avoided empathizing with himself. However, this anger still simmers beneath the surface in the story. (Sakura's display of compassion for Naruto's situation after realizing he could die was a good moment tbh, I liked it even if Naruto shoved it aside. Kinda like he was saying they could never understand as Sasuke said to him, except Naruto sorta laughs it off and shows confidence instead. Anw, Sakura's best moments are in this arc, and it has nothing to do with the Sasori fight.)

But why doesn't Naruto express anger for himself?

Because, in this case, he carries a sense of guilt towards Gaara. He heard Gaara express how he desperately searched for a reason to live, feeling like a 'relic of the past that people wanted to get rid of'—unwanted and alone. This led Gaara to decide to care only for himself and kill everyone else. While Naruto could empathize with Gaara due to the shared pain stemming from similar situations, he also understood that their circumstances were entirely different at the time he met him. Naruto compared his own situation with Gaara's, stating that 'everyone' else had saved him from a dark and lonely hell, lumping the village together to contrast it with Gaara, who had no one still.

Naruto eventually said that Iruka and Sasuke were the ones who truly saved him after learning about different types of bonds and gaining a better understanding. However, the idea of being supported by so many people, (conditional or not) in contrast to Gaara, tore Naruto apart because he knows how unbearable it is to live that way. The Gaara he encountered during the exams represented Naruto's greatest fear for himself, and he began to feel guilty for having people around him, or even those who 'worship' him, as he felt it was unfair to Gaara. Despite his repressed emotions, Itachi's 'fear-inspiring Genjutsu' exposed Naruto's feelings and fears.

Naruto's efforts didn't just lead to a strong friendship; they also provided Gaara with hope. In this story, 'Hope' is perhaps the most important theme, a reason to live that is much more bearable. I wouldn't reduce all of this to Gaara merely 'worshipping' Naruto. Such analysis seems to miss the nuances of their complex bond regardless.

Naruto's sharing of joy also reflects his 'mysterious power.' He had mixed feelings about seeing Gaara advance so quickly as Kazekage but also genuinely felt happy for him. I genuinely believe that dismissing the Naruto-Gaara dynamic as mere 'worship' overlooks the significant impact Naruto had on Gaara and those around them. Which was extremely important to the story itself. I love the bond between Naruto and Gaara, but acknowledge it really isn't the same as the one with Sasuke. But considering their relationship, it's not surprising that Gaara might have a little crush on Naruto. However, it's not essential to insist on finding canonical evidence for this imo. While it's a plausible interpretation, I don't think that Gaara's feelings for Naruto are taken too seriously by most fans? Furthermore, Gaara's seeming 'pettiness' regarding Sasuke or Naruto's prioritization of him above others is not something anyone understood. The general consensus "for Naruto's sake" was that “Sasuke causes Naruto pain” (more like, Sasuke’s pain hurts Naruto because he loves him) so of course, Gaara's feelings were conflicted by his duty (getting rid of a 'criminal') and his friendship with Naruto (who will fight against such Shinobi duties because feelings are involved and they'll never be able to truly become emotionless tools-). Sasuke had attacked the summit after all, usually an immediate death sentence regardless of reason. Gaara is Naruto’s friend, it would be weird if he didn’t want to protect Naruto in return even against Sasuke, it's just that Naruto didn't see it the same way as everyone around him. THAT is frustrating!! Remember he told Naruto to really think about his friendship with Sasuke and what it meant? 👀 Like, "Naruto, you really want to do this? We are friends too, yeah? Doesn’t he cause you pain? Look at you... think about this carefully, kinda sus tbh. What’s this meaaann? I give my life for you, I will fight for you but what we do now huh?" Etc- 

In the end, Naruto is the protagonist of a Shonen story, serving as a measuring device to gauge the significance of events in the narrative. (This role is largely shared with Sasuke though). Naruto provides the reference point for understanding the story's relationships. The core message, typically related to positive change as defined by Naruto/the main character, is a fundamental aspect of these stories. What truly matters is why something is significant in the story and what it means to the characters. His bond with Gaara a huge part of it. And to a degree the others as well because that's kind of the point.... And it's not for nothing we haven't seen the same development with the villagers as a whole because it wasn't important to the story.... yet. (Should've been solved before he became Hokage though 😂 "Naruto-the-village-is-family-I-guess-cuz-former-hokage-said-so-Uzumaki." Bro.)

"only sasunaru fans do this, they think every man around naruto wants him and is jealous of sasuke and sasuke's not a good bf but all of that is pure projection and stupidity and they act like incels when they treat naruto like some helpless girl with her Chad bf who should instead be with the nice guys."

Ngl, I can't disagree with this one. Idk why the Naruto-bl-harem is so popular? And ok, have them all worship Naruto for all I care, but why is he always so....... dainty. Don't mind me some uwu-Naruto, he's cute alright, but.... no 😭 I don't even have words.

"Sasuke's the only special one bc their relationship is actually different and special. But even for him sometimes some sns fans reduce him to a naruto worshipper in sns fics."

I mean... to a certain degree. Define worshipping 👀 from what I can read about the true definition, their 'worshipping' is pretty mutual, but the difference lies in the foundation and the fact that it is unconditional. I know what you mean though, the Sasuke guilt tripping is real and a bit painful. Like? Isn't that Esaka's job?

"Or they talk about the "i'm in naruto's world, I'm blessed to exist" quote that seems an awful lot like idol worship."

UGH! 😓 This stupid non-canon quote. Did everyone forget who wrote this novel about Sasuke 'atoning for his sins'??? 😭 SPOILER: NOT KISHIMOTO. (Kinda want to read it though to fact-check some things.) There might be some truth in the words now that I have spent many months thinking about the blank period... but so does Naruto not want to live without Sasuke. As much as their world includes the other, they are still their own characters with their own goals in a Shinobi world with a system that would never allow them to truly live in each others' worlds fully anyway gerigjekrg3rhiqjkhmregqerigkjqrg;-; ok bye.

[vote-gaara]

when his medicine was rejected and just anytime he was shut out, do you think he was embarrassed or just downright sad

By his medicine being rejected, I am assuming you mean during his childhood, when that young girl slammed the door in Gaara's face after he tried apologizing (Chapter 130, I think?).

I don't think Gaara was sad, I think he was downright traumatized. Being rejected by your peers is registered in the brain the same way as legitimately getting hurt (something that Yashamaru knew well...I headcanon this is because he was a medical-nin, but also because he was being philosophical), and we all know that sometimes things that really hurt do cause trauma, and they follow us for a very very long time.

I think it's worse for Gaara, though, because not only was he severely isolated from others, he couldn't really understand why people hated him so much. Sure, there's the whole jinchuriki label, but to Gaara he didn't understand why he had to be so different from everyone else because of the circumstances in which he was born. Instead, he was seeing life through the lens of his own internal monologue - the one that desperately wanted friends and who didn't mean to hurt anyone - and so being rejected by his peers hurt like hell because he didn't understand what he was doing wrong. It's akin to someone asking you to make a choice about something and the only feedback they offer you is to hit you when you pick the wrong answer; they don't care about why you made the decision, they just dueled out their lashings (spoiler alert: In this case, all of Gaara's choices were wrong answers cause the game was rigged for him from the start).

That's the type of deeply rooted emotional damage that bites into every fiber of your being; your heart, your bones, your muscles...your very soul. It's something that you don't really come back from, and although Gaara did reform himself completely after his battle with Naruto, I don't think he will ever fully be healed from his experiences.

There are some injuries that, despite having happened years ago, turn into chronic pain, and I think that's a good analogy for Gaara's mental state. He just copes, honestly.

Now as for him being embarrassed....Hmmm....I actually headcanon that Gaara doesn't feel a whole lot of embarrassment, especially in his evil phase.

You can't really feel embarrassed when you truly don't care what other people think, and during his "kill everyone" phase, what purpose would embarrassment really serve? Not much.

(And some of the things he said back then were so cringy and he uttered them without even a morsal of reservation. Like I love Gaara through and through, but maaan.)

I think that even current day Gaara doesn't feel much embarrassment. Mostly he's too proper, stoic and reclusive to encounter the emotion often. Rather, his emotions are firmly rooted in shame.

And it's the shame haunts him.

[cherryskkks]

What the eyes don't see, the heart feel - Naruto x Alchemy of Souls

This post, is more than anything, a repost of one of my fanfics. The're writhem in my original linguage and don't have so much attention, so, I repost them in english. I'm SO SORRY for the bad english, I use my horrible skills and the Google Translator for this, lol.

There some little spoilers of the drama, but the're small. And references too.

Enjoy please!

"Kazekage, my child has been in my belly for twelve months." A woman with black hair tied in a bun and a white skirt with a purple coat over it and a skirt of the same color stood in front of the kazekage with eyes that threatened to shed tears. "Please kazekage, save my child."

"I'm sorry, but she's already dead." The man spoke in his dry tone but his expression exuded sadness and mourning. "There is nothing I can do."

"Please, I won't give up on my baby..." Tears fell from the woman's eyes, who ended up sitting on the floor with her hand over her belly "I'm not going to give up on her..."

"I already told you, there's nothing I can do." He repeated what he said before, but in a higher tone.

"The ice stone is in Jinyowon." The woman whispered in a low, tearful voice but it was enough to get the man's attention. "It never left Jinyowon, I can't use her in this state, but maybe you can get Kazekage."

"You want me to use a forbidden jutsu?!" The redhead spoke out loud.

"I'll do anything to save my baby!"

The man shook his head and helped the woman to her feet. He really didn't know if he should really try this, since resurrecting someone from the dead with the power of the ice stone was forbidden and wrong. After using the power of the ice stone he sealed it beneath the desert sands, so that the large layer of grains hid the stone so that it would not be used by the wrong hands.

A beautiful little girl with black hair was born. She was called Ari which means 'adorable', that was what BoA thought when she saw her daughter who ended up being born without the ability to see with her eyes but had a large amount of chakra within her and could feel the flow of energy around her. around her, because of this she was excluded by the other children, they thought she was strange and scary because she was blind and could predict the weather and know if there was someone around her or not. The Jinyowon family were the only ones who did not fear her for her gift, and even made a point of training her so that she would become the leader of Jinyowon in the future. A year later the Kazekage had a third child, a premature little boy with red hair and sealed the one-tailed fox inside the child.

"Why you're alone? Shouldn't he be with the other kids?" The girl with loose brown hair asked a little red-haired boy who was sitting on the sand hugging his teddy bear, the little boy was scared by the girl's unexpected voice.

"They… are afraid of me…" He whispered in a low voice, but it was enough for the girl to hear and smile at the answer.

"It seems like we have something in common, what’s your name?" She sat in front of the boy on the sand "I'm Ari no Jinyowon, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Gaara. Subaku no Gaara." The little boy opened a smile, but his expression quickly changed to doubt "Ari, why are you wearing that blindfold? That way you won't be able to see..."

"Even with or without the blindfold, I wouldn’t be able to see." His smile didn't waver and remained on his face, showing dimples on the side of his cheek "I'm blind."

"Sorry, I didn't want to seem rude..." The little boy said, lowering his head and scolding himself.

"Don't worry, Gaara. Do you want to be my friend?" The little red-haired boy raised his head at the sudden question.

"Friend? Eh... of course I want to." He said, smiling.

"Ari!!" A voice called the blind girl who turned her gaze to where the voice had been heard "Ari! Mommy is calling you." A girl apparently the same age as Gaara appeared running towards the girl, she had brown hair tied in a side braid, bangs that covered part of her forehead and was wearing a light blue dress. She stopped running and screaming when she realized that her sister wasn't alone "Ah, sorry for disturbing you two..."

"It's okay little sister, Gaara, unfortunately I have to go. Let's play tomorrow." She got up with the help of the girl and headed towards her house.

The little boy nodded, even though he hadn't played with her, at least he had gained a new friend. He spent a few moments playing with the sand until his uncle, Yashamaru, appeared.

"Uncle Yashamaru! I made a new friend, her name is Ari." Gaara said to his uncle with a smile

"Serious? How good Gaara." The older man smiled at his nephew's achievement "It's Ari from Jinyowon, isn't it?"

"Yes, she can't see but she managed to notice that I was alone."

"Amazing. Now come on, you have to go home." He took the little boy's hand and started to walk.

The days passed and Ari and Gaara played together every day, Ari's mother, BoA accompanied their games sometimes and the redhead murmured how elegant she was. BoA liked the little boy and loved it when her daughter said she was going to play with him.

"Ari! I have something to give you." Gaara took one of her hands and opened it with the palm up, putting a bracelet on it "I made this bracelet in pairs, this piece is blue and mine is red. I made them both using sand and asked my brother to paint them, did you like them?"

"I liked it, Gaara, despite not seeing her, she must be very beautiful. Can you put it on my wrist?" A visible smile remained on her face, showing the dimples on her cheeks again. Gaara took the bracelet from her hand, undid the knot on the cord and tied it again around Ari's wrist.

Even though the two meet every day, over time these meetings have become less frequent. Especially after Ari graduated from the ninja academy and joined a team where he started going on missions. A few months after Ari's team was formed, she and her team partners were recommended for the chunin exam, which they participated in and passed. In the meantime, Gaara barely had time to see his friend but he always asked his sister, Yujim, about her, who said that she was fine and that she was just busy doing missions.

Gaara became increasingly violent as he lost her company; Angry because his only friend abandoned him. But a part of him wished he could meet the oldest girl in the park where they met.

When it was his turn to take the chunin exam, at first he wanted to kill everyone due to Sukaku's influence but then he thought about sparing Yujim's life, he couldn't bear to see the girl's older sister cry due to her sister's death. During the third phase, before his fight, he saw her.

"Gaara, I’m happy that you made it to the finals." The redhead remained with his arms crossed and his face frowning, but inside he felt the urge to hug her.

"Hm." He mumbled, rolling his eyes.

The conversation did not continue, Gaara's battle with Sasuke was announced. Ari returned to the stands, sitting next to his mother and sister, Yujim managed to win his battle thanks to the sound ninja who didn't attend and his mother, BoA, always makes a point of attending and supporting her daughters.

The last thing she remembers was falling into a genjutsu and blacking out. When she woke up, her sister seemed to be fighting with a boy and some other voices.

"Naruto! You can't go after your enemies without even thinking of a plan!"

"Yujim is right Naruto, it's better to stay here and wait for the situation to resolve itself." A male voice spoke followed by a yawn.

"What is happening?" Ari asked loudly, drawing the attention of others.

"Ari! Please help us!" Her sister ran towards the girl and helped her face the large crack in the coliseum. "Gaara and the other sand ninjas ran away, Sasuke went after them to want to fight with Gaara and Naruto wants to go after them."

"Wow, you summed up what’s going on well." Shikamaru grumbled, snuggling on the floor

"Are only the three of you free from the genjutsu?"

"No, there is another girl, Sakura Haruno, who went to find someone to help us. But so far it hasn't come back."

"Right. Naruto, you can go after them, but the other boy who is lying down go with him. Yujim and I will stay here in case reinforcements arrive and we will explain the situation." He gave the orders calmly, hoping that the three children understood.

"Why do I have to go? I don't want to babysit Naruto." Yawned Shikamaru again "Anyway, how are we going to find their trail?"

The oldest smiled at the question.

"Do you guys have any objects or hairs from Sasuke or any of the other ninjas who went with him?"

Naruto and Yujim started touching their own robes.

"There's this here." Naruto said holding up a set of bandages that were in one of the mini backpacks that were in his jumpsuit. "I remember Sasuke using this on his wounds on a mission and I kept it for myself."

"Perfect, thank you Naruto." Ari took the bandages carefully so as not to touch the blood that had already dried on it, with one hand a chakra energy began to form, the chakra began to take on a transparent circular shape and fused with the bandages. A small light was made in the girl's hands blinding the three genins, when the light went out a floating ball with Sasuke's image appeared. "Follow that bubble, it will show you where they went."

"Wow! How did you do that?!" Stars could be seen in Naruto's eyes as he stared at the bubble in awe.

"Yeah, it's cool, but let's go before I change my mind." Shikamaru pulled Naruto by the collar of his clothes.

"You're good for a genin." A male voice was heard along with frantic footsteps.

"Kakashi-sensei! Wait!" The female voice was breathless, from her breathing she must have been running a lot.

"Did Sakura get backup?"

"I'm the backup." The man nominated himself "And I saw what that girl with her eyes covered did, not bad for a genin."

"I'm not a genin, I'm a chunin."

The conversation could not continue, fake ANBU appeared and Kakashi went to distract them while Ari, Sakura and Yujim freed other ninjas to stop them.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The memories she had of Gaara and Yujim's chunin exams, although grounded and not very clear, were still good to her. Of course, it was the examination of his friend and his sister. She is especially happy that her friend Gaara was able to achieve his dream of becoming a kazekage, who would have thought that the shy little boy who was afraid of doing something bad to someone would become The kazegake of the sand - literally -. She wasn't behind either, a few days before Gaara's ceremony she was named the new leader of Jinyowon.

"Do you still use that?" She heard his voice but didn't turn her head to look, she already knew he was there.

"I don't have the courage to take it off, did you lose yours?"

"Yes... I remember putting it somewhere in my room before my ceremony and when I went to check it wasn't there." The redhead sighed. "I wondered if it was Temari or Kankuro."

"Probably Kankuro, he must have thought it was a gift for him."

"Yeah." Gaara chuckled at her response.

Silence once again settled in the park, the redhead observed the circular moon, it was a full moon night. The other felt the cold winds of the night hitting her slightly tanned skin, in these last few weeks she hadn't even had time to breathe, let alone get a tan.

"Do you think I'll be a good kazekage?"

"I have no doubt, you will be a great kazekage." He smiled at her statement.

"But now that I'm the leader of Jinyowon and you're the kazegake, we probably won't be able to meet as often as before, right?" She began, with a voice that indicated complete sadness.

"Don't worry, we'll still see each other. Obviously not as much as before."

She smiled, showing the dimples he loved so much about her. He loves everything about her, her voice, skill in battle and even the way she gets embarrassed when her mother starts talking about her. He had been trying to declare himself for days but was unable to do so due to pure nervousness and fear of being rejected.

"Have you... ever been afraid of me?" The sudden question made the girl turn her head to the redhead beside her.

"Excuse me?"

"Have you ever been afraid of me?" He repeated.

He was full of insecurities when it came to other people's opinions of himself. Since childhood he has been upset by other children's mean words towards him and because of this he has developed insecurity about this.

"Gaara, you are not a monster to make anyone afraid." She turned to the man and took both of his hands gently, "Your beauty never ever scared me."

They both smiled, holding each other's hands. Ari was without her typical blindfold with the symbol of her clan and because of that Gaara looked at her black eyes that because of the night moonlight had a blue color in them.

"You know, I like you. Like, like to the point where my chest hurts when you're not around." Gaara thought it was a good time to say this.

"It seems we feel the same way."

"Hello?"

Ari gently grabbed Gaara's face with his hands and quickly touched their lips. The redhead was startled by the surprise attack but accepted it as soon as he realized what was happening, the two entered into a calm and affectionate kiss. The kiss didn't last long, but it was truly a giant step for their relationship.

"Does this mean we're dating now?" Ari asked, trying not to smile like an idiot.

"I think so." Ari had to hold back even more to hold back her smile and the redhead laughed at her expression. "You look like an idiot trying not to smile like that."

"Then I'll love you like an idiot does." Again, the older woman pulled the man in for a kiss again.

Further away from the two lovebirds were Kankuro, Temari and Yujim watching their brothers.

"The situation is heating up there." Kankuro said, watching the couple kissing.

"Isn't it better if we get out of here? Then my mother shows up and sees the two of them there..." Yujim was trying to give his sister and her boyfriend more privacy but it wasn't working so well.

"Relax Yujim, they won't notice us." Temari reassured her.

The three of them watched the brothers for a while just to make sure they were okay. The two had left the congratulatory party for Gaara's new position.

After the festivities ended, the redhead dragged his feet along the sandy roads towards his home, he was exhausted but at the same time happy. After so long he managed to confess his feelings to his first and only love and he also managed to achieve his dream, thanks to that a small smile was formed on his lips.

This happiness didn't last long, he saw a giant white bird surrounding the village in the sky. It turned out that that bird was made of explosive clay and the redhead was kidnapped by two members of Akatsuki, a criminal organization that only recruited S-rank criminals. When the sun rose, many people were saddened by what happened to the kazekage, one of the most It was Ari who was shaken, she had practically declared her love a day ago and the guy she likes was simply kidnapped.

Foil reinforcements arrived and a rescue mission was requested. Ari was one of the sand ninjas sent to accompany them, along with her sister Yujim and a woman from the village council, an elderly woman called Chiyo.

"You can go ahead, I'll be a little late." The black-haired one spoke as she stopped her walk in the desert. Her speech caught the attention of the entire group, causing everyone to stare at her. "Don't worry, I'll catch up with you."

"Sis, what are you going to do?" Yujim asked arching an eyebrow at his sister as the group continued their walk.

"Do not worry." He responded promptly. "I'm going to bring a certain 'shining stone' back."

"What?! Are you crazy? Nobody knows where it..."

"Hey! Yujim! Are you coming or not?!" Naruto's booming voice could be heard on the other side of the world.

Before the youngest could try to stop it, her sister completely disappeared from her sight. She had no other choice but to follow the rest of the group and wish her older sister well, a lot of time has passed and so far no one has found the ice stone. The former kazekage, Gaara's father, had hidden the stone beneath the vast desert, this made many people give up searching because how would they find a stone beneath many grains of sand, without a precise location of where to start looking? and without even knowing if you're going to get out of this alive. The desert can be a very dangerous and scary place.

She spent almost an entire day walking through the desert to see if she could feel anything, and in the end it was a long mission. She found the stone, now what was left was to follow the others' chakra, it wasn't difficult considering they had the copy ninja, a doctor, a biju, a old lady and an artifact specialist with them.

Arriving at a giant cave, she felt as if she had arrived late. She heard cries and sniffles from many sides and followed with the ice stone in hand towards Naruto's chakra, who was crying, mourning his friend's death.

"Ari?" Sakura was the only one who noticed the presence of the woman with the blindfold. "I'm sorry, but..."

"It's okay." She responded promptly, still holding the stone tightly in his hands with chakra. The brunette walked towards the body of her former lover, although she couldn't see it in person, she could feel an energy draining from someone and heading towards Gaara. It wasn't something violent and It didn't intend to hurt his corpse, It wanted to save him. The brunette took the lady's hands off her boyfriend's chest.

"What are you doing? I'm going to save him." The old lady insisted.

"Let me do it."

The stone began to rotate in the brunette's hands, the clouds around the mountain began to form and became darker. The strongest winds, threatening to take some hats with them, formed a black powder from the stone.

"Ari, you're not going to do that, right?" Yujim asked approaching his sister, knowing exactly what was about to happen.

"Do what?!" Naruto, still with tears in his eyes, shouted.

"She's going to resurrect Kazegake." BoA, who appeared along with other sand ninjas, replied the blonde boy.

"Then why.."

Naruto didn't have time to scream once more as the sight of Ari hugging Gaara's awake body caught sight of him. The dark-haired woman wore a white scarf over her eyes, which were now soaked by the tears running down her cheeks. The redhead just comforted his girlfriend with a hug, as he had no idea how to help her.

"Don't scare me like that again..." The girl whispered in her muffled voice.

"I'll try."

[bleachanimefan1]

Desert Flower Part 36

A Day in the Leaf Village,

The next day, Yuri decided to go grab something to eat at Ichiraku ramen. Once she reached the shop, Yuri was surprised as she saw Kankuro standing around outside. He appeared to be lost in his thoughts and didn't even notice her when she came over.

"Hello? Anyone in there? Yoo Hoo!" Yuri waved her hand in front of the shinobi's face, startling Kankuro.

"Where'd you come from!?"

"I was going to grab a bit to eat when I saw you standing out here." Yuri told him. Then she heard Kankuro sigh.

"Hey, is there anything wrong? What's with the sigh?"

Kankuro narrowed his eyes at her. "It's none of your business."

"So, why are you still here in the Leaf? The festival's over." Yuri wondered.

"Temari thought it would be a good idea to stay a few days in the Leaf." Kankuro told her. Yuri's eyes widen a little. So, Gaara's here as well.

"Hmm...How about a bite?" Yuri offered. "My treat. But the next one is on you." Kankuro blinked at her, confused.

"Huh?"

"Let's go to Ichiraku's. You can tell me what's wrong." She told him and pulled Kankuro by his arm.

"H-Hey! Wait!" Kankuro protested as he was dragged inside. The two sat down and ordered some ramen.

"Are you this overly friendly with other people, too?" Kankuro asked her.

"I guess so. I mean we're friends, aren't we?" Yuri told him. "It's common sense to help someone in trouble, right?"

"Actually, I wish I could be as outgoing as you." Kankuro murmured. (If only I could talk to him like this...) Yuri blinked and looked at him, surprised, thinking to herself. Why is he being so nice?

"Uh, thank you?" she smiled. "Well, I usually just try to think of what to say before I say it." 

"Think about what to say?" Kankuro questioned. Yuri nodded.

"Yeah, you know. Ask them how their day went, maybe certain hobbies they're interested in, or something they like to talk about or places they like to go to." She told him.

"So those are the main steps when talking to someone?" Kankuro asked. Yuri stared at him. Steps? Oh boy...This might be a little hard.

"It can be like that. Just look at them straight in the eye and say what you have to say. Just be honest. Otherwise, the conversation doesn't go anywhere." She told him.

"Heh. I get it." Kankuro smiled. (Next time I see him, I gotta look him straight in the eye.)

"Gaara..."

Yuri's eyes widened and she looked at Kankuro. Did she hear that right?

"Did you say something?"

"Nah, it's nothing." Kankuro shook his head. "But there is another thing I'd like to ask you."

"Okay, what is it?" Yuri asked.

"Let's say a guy likes this person but they can't exactly talk together-"

"Are you trying to say that you like Yukina?" she smirked. Kankuro sputtered, looking at her in shock.

"How did you know that I was talking about her!?" he stammered.

"I've seen the way you look at her. And I know that she seems to like you as well." Yuri told him. Kankuro's eyes widen a little.

"Really? Who would've guessed."

"Just do exactly what I've told you about talking to people. If you want to ask her out, I'm fine with that. But I only have one thing to ask of you when you do." Yuri told him.

"What's that?" Kankuro questioned.

"Don't make her cry. If you do, I'm going to make you pay." Yuri threatened. Kankuro stared at her, slightly scared, and nodded slowly.

"Good!" Yuri smiled and went back to eating her ramen, finishing it off. "Well, I'm full." she sighed, happily. Just as she was about to pay for the ramen, Kankuro stopped her.

"I'll pay for them." He told her.

"Are you sure? I mean, I can-" She stammered then Kankuro cut her off.

"I insist. And I like you to have this too." He told her and handed Yuri a small wooden practice puppet. Yuri blinked, staring at it.

"Uh, thanks." She smiled. "But why are you being so nice all of a sudden?"

"No special reason. I-I just happened to have this with me." Kankuro stammered. "Anyway, thanks for the chat." And Kankuro vanished, disappearing in a cloud of smoke, leaving Yuri still confused.

"Weird." Yuri murmured to herself. "But he does seem a lot happier now."

Yuri left the shop, deciding to roam around the village a little. Then she saw Temari standing in front of a shop. "Hey! Temari!" Yuri shouted, waving, and walked over to her. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I heard the dumplings are to die for here, so..."

"Do you want to try them? Let's go in!" Yuri smiled.

"Hey! I didn't say I was ready to eat, did I?"

"Come on!" Yuri pulled her along, dragging Temari into the shop. They ordered some food and went back outside and sat down on some benches, waiting for their order. A waitress came out carrying a tray of steamed dumplings. Temari and Yuri both sat, eating their dumplings together, quietly. Yuri glanced over to Temari to see her eating another one. Then another. And another. "Pretty good, am I right?"

Temari continued to eat her dumplings quietly.

"You're being a lot quieter than usual. Are they not good?" Yuri asked her.

"No. I was just enjoying the flavor." Temari told her.

"Leaf Village dumplings are the best of the best!" Yuri smiled.

"I'm not sure why you're so personally proud, but Heehee...I really like this place." Temari smiled.

"That's great. It's nice being able to talk to you like this. Maybe you'll come by more! Gaara and Kankuro, too!" Yuri told her.

"The Amaguriama is great. I'll definitely be back." Temari told her.

"And I did run into Kankuro on my way here." Yuri told her.

"Was he nice to you?" Temari asked.

"Yeah, he was acting a little strange. But it's all good. He admitted that he liked Yukina, well, more like I figured it out from him." She told Temari. Temari spit out her drink and looked at Yuri in shock.

"You're kidding!" 

Yuri smiled. "It's true."

"Aw, that's nice. My little brother likes someone. That's definitely going to be fun to tease him about." Temari smiled. Then Yuri saw Temari ordering another plate of dumplings.

"You're ordering some more?" Yuri asked, surprised.

"I'm getting some for Gaara and Kankuro." Temari spoke.

"Huh...I never thought those two have a sweet tooth." Yuri replied.

"Congratulations!" A woman shouted.

Both Yuri and Temari blinked, a little surprised and looked at the shopkeeper, wondering what she meant.

"You are the 10,000th customer to set foot in our shop! Allow me to present you with this wonderful prize!" The woman smiled and handed Temari a teakettle with a Shukaku design on it. Temari stared at it.

"Uh-"

"And as a bonus, feel free to eat as many dumplings as you like!" And the woman walked away. Temari stared in shock.

"I can take the teakettle if you don't want it. My mom's a big collector." Yuri told her. Temari handed her the teakettle.

"Thank you." She smiled.

"Want to order some more dumplings?" Yuri asked her.

"Of course!" Temari nodded. Temari and Yuri both ordered many dumplings.

"I don't think I can eat any more. I'll explode." Yuri sighed. Temari laughed.

"Ha, is that all you can handle?" She spoke and continued to happily eat her dumplings until she was finished. She packed up the remaining ones. "I guess I better take them their dumplings now. Anyway, I'm off. See ya later."

"Bye!" Yuri nodded.

It was evening as the sun was starting to go down. Yuri was heading back to her house as she jumped from roof to roof on the other buildings. As she leaped to into the air, Yuri's eye widened when she saw Gaara standing by himself, with his arms crossed, on a tall platform. He seemed to be lost in thought, taking in the scenery around him.

"Hey, Gaara!" Yuri called out to him. Gaara looked up and saw Yuri coming down and landed beside him. "What are you doing up here?"

"I don't get out to this village too often, so I'm having a look around." Gaara told her.

"I can give you a tour if you want. I know the best spot in the village! Naruto showed me when I first came here." Yuri smiled. Gaara nodded. Yuri took him up to the Hokage stone faces and the two sat down, seeing the entire village in front of them. Yuri turned to look at him, seeing Gaara, silently looking.

"What do you think? You can see the whole village from up here!" she told him. Gaara stayed silent, taking it all in. More minutes went by and neither of them said a word. Yuri glanced over at Gaara in worry. Why was he so quiet? Does he not like it?

"The Hidden Leaf Village is a nice place. There's so much to take in." Gaara spoke, softly. Yuri blinked in surprise.

"Yes, it is, isn't it." She smiled, laughing a little.

"Hey!" Gaara and Yuri both saw Naruto jumping up towards them and he landed down a few feet from them.

"Hey, Gaara! Yuri! What are you two doing up here?" Naruto asked, walking over to them.

"Naruto." Gaara greeted him.

"I was showing Gaara the-" Yuri spoke before Naruto interrupted her.

"Are you two on a date?" He smirked. Both Yuri and Gaara's eyes widened.

"No! I was just showing Gaara the village!" Yuri told Naruto.

"Oh! Heheh, how about I take you both for some good food?" Naruto asked them.

"Good food?" Gaara asked.

"I'm a little full but I'll come." Yuri replied. Naruto took Gaara and Yuri to Ichiraku's. He ordered some ramen for himself and Gaara.

"Well, pretty good, huh?" Naruto smiled.

"It's...tasty." Gaara spoke, softly. Naruto giggled.

"Hehehe! See, I told you so!" Then he looked at Teuchi, the ramen shopkeeper. "Hey! You're a genius as always! Great ramen!"

"Glad to hear that. How about another bowl on the house?" He asked them.

"Wahoo! You're the man!" Naruto grinned.

"I guess, I can order one." Yuri spoke, ordering some. "Then I'll take some home for my parents and Yukina." The three ate their ramen together. Gaara sighed.

"Hmm? Is something wrong?" Naruto asked him. Gaara shook his head.

"No." He spoke and thought to himself. Someday I'll be more like you. They finished their ramen and stepped outside the shop. Yuri carried a small take out bag of ramen, for her parents and Yukina.

"Well, we had our ramen, now what?" Naruto asked them.

"I'm a little tired. I'm going to head back. It's starting to get late." Yuri told them. 

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you tomorrow!" Naruto smiled. Yuri waved Naruto and Gaara goodbye and went back home. She walked inside to find her father passed out on the couch and her mom and Yukina in the kitchen, starting to make some dinner.

"I brought some take out. If you want any." Yuri told them and set the food down on the table. Her father immediately got up when he smelled the ramen and started rummaging in the bag, pulling out a box.

"Oh, but I made a nice healthier dinner to eat." Yuri's mom sighed. Yukina began to dig in, taking out a box, eating as as well.

"Why not have both?" Yuri asked, walking upstairs to her room.

"You're not going to have any?" Her mom asked.

"I've eaten enough for today. If I eat any more, I'm going to burst." Yuri told her.

As Yuri walked into her room, she noticed something different. She walked over to the window and opened it to see a plant sitting outside. It was a small cactus with a small red flower blooming on it. Yuri picked up, admiring it. 

Who could have left it here? 

[ghoste-catte]

Soooo... Lee when he (really) gets mad at Gaara, he calls him Kazekage?

Oh shit, I have no idea how long this has been sitting in my asks ... so sorry!! And I guess my answer is: it depends on what stage of their relationship they're in? (Obviously this is all headcanon and fanfic 'verse, we never see him call Gaara anything but Gaara-kun in canon.)

Like, if they are still tentatively feeling our their emotions and relationship, maybe haven't realized they want to be more than friends, I can see Lee getting ... not angry, but maybe skittish or overwhelmed and trying to put some distance between the two of them by referring to Gaara by his title.

I can also see him getting his feelings hurt - maybe thinking they're inching towards something more and then Gaara seems to be interested in someone else or even outright rejects him - and him going to the title to protect his heart. To pretend that the friendship was never there or that he always knew their difference in status meant he didn't have a chance.

Once they are in an actual relationship, though, no. I don't really see it. At least not in the early stages. I think Lee is the type to want to fight through things rather than be snide or passive-aggressive. The only context I could make it make sense is if Gaara somehow pulled rank on him. Like if he sent one of their kids on a dangerous mission they might not come back from, I can see Lee fighting and begging his heart out, but then if Gaara stonewalled him saying something like, "Fine. Well I wouldn't want to be insubordinate to *the Kazekage's* orders".

But yeah, by and large no? Not for me at least. I've seen other writers use it very well though.

[fallen-in-dreams]

CHAPTER ELEVEN on AO3.

Chapters on Tumblr: One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.

Pairing: Gaara/Sakura.

Summary: Her descent into madness came after her friends were all dead and before she was sold off like livestock. To him. He knew a thing or two about madness. And there was peace to be found in the violence of that madness. Even if only for a time. Canon divergence AU.

Rated: Mature.

Chapter word count: 11,885.

Status: Ongoing.

Reminder: the tags/warnings are important.

Warnings: dark themes. Arranged marriage (not what you think). Eventual smut (level and degree of that warning being necessary is subjective). Death. Suicide talk. Self-harm. PTSD – expect some well-known symptoms and some not well-known ones. Please don’t read if you’re triggered by psychological &/or emotional-related trauma and effects.

.

Hiya. Hope you're all doing well. :) So, I'm back. And this story is almost done. But I won't be updating every week - it'll be more like 1 or 2 weeks. The reason:

Sometimes chapters just want to get longer and longer and we really have no choice in the matter.

Unlike the last time I wrote out a fic in draft form then posted each chapter a week apart as I edited them, this story is trying to drive me crazy. 4k chapters turned into 6-9k and now THIS chapter is 11k. My editing process is squeezing that number count for all it's worth and it became so much of a chore. I really needed that New Year's break. So yeah, I'm going to slow it down a LITTLE bit. So I don't let it annoy me too much.

And I hope each and every one of you will join me for the rest of the ride. I can't wait to see what you guys think about what's coming. Cheers. :)

Enjoy. ^_^

Tumblr version:

… Chapter Eleven: To Kiss or Not to Kiss. ...

.:.

Oh love, believe me, Nothing ever comes to us easy, The river's never run up to meet me, Gotta find your own way down

-- Oh Love, by Phildel

.:.

How am I supposed to face her now?

Gaara stopped trying to figure women out a long time ago.

His argument with Sakura Haruno that morning weighed heavily on him all day. Whenever Gaara found a quiet moment or his mind would wander, images of pure fury and betrayal hounded him. Her pretty face screwed up in indignation and misery. He couldn’t get over the fact that Sakura had truly thought he was wilfully keeping her from her friends. It was just for a few moments but the level of pain that vibrated through her body still scared him.

Hours later.

Like so much about her already does.

So, he stewed in self-doubt all day, moving on autopilot as he went from council meetings to the lonely hours stuck working through tedious mission reports and high-level security reviews. Councillor Tōjūrō wanted this. Councillor Sajō insisted on that. And Councillor Ebizō inquired about their mutual concerns, via the not-so-silent Anbu they both trusted.

Gaara was beyond relieved when the working day ended, and he was able to leave. Most days, he stayed until late, and other times he simply took his work home. It had not escaped his notice that he worked too much. But what else was there? All he had outside of work were his siblings, and they had their own lives to deal with. So, most of the time, he had no-one.

And now her.

“Sakura!” Temari’s voice interrupted his thoughts as she called up to their house guest. “Dinner’s ready!”

Gaara clasped his hands together to hide the trembling of his fingers when Sakura finally descended the internal staircase for dinner. He forced himself to blink heavily to keep his vision from zoning out. Nerves and anticipation like he’d never felt before plagued him. It took all his willpower to keep from groaning in frustration at the strange feelings.

He watched pensively as Sakura sat down delicately. Swallowing heavily.

Sakura Haruno.

Gaara couldn’t keep his eyes to himself.

“Date her, talk to her, and try to figure out how we can help her in the meantime.”

Ideas began to swirl in his mind. Possibilities.

As the culinary genius of the family, Kankuro had cooked another magnificent meal. He was still in the kitchen, putting on the final touches as Temari started talking about how her own day had been. Since her decision to stay in the village she’d taken over the management of the guards and patrols of the village. Gaara didn’t know if she was trying to improve it or just scare them into line. Regardless, she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon, so he gave her free reign to do (almost) whatever she wanted to them.

Temari stood to help Kankuro lay the food on the table. Sakura was staring at a spot close to the internal staircase, her fingers drumming softly on the table.

“Go get that date organised.”

Planning outings was not his thing. He’d never asked anyone on a date before. Expectation hung in the air.

“Let’s eat!” Kankuro yelled.

Dinner had always been a stiff but amicable affair. Every night, they’d sit around the main dining table to partake in one of Kankuro’s chef-level delights, talk would be minimal because they’d be enjoying the food too much to ruin the moment. But inevitably, someone would say something pointedly, and a casual, intermittent conversation would take place. Before Temari’s return, conversation would be carried by Kankuro’s attempts to make Sakura feel welcomed, strained as they were. Gaara would interject when he felt it necessary, with the occasional input from Sakura when addressed directly.

Since Temari’s return, his sister had not just driven the conversation, but wrenched it sideways and taken complete control of the reins. He wondered if was solely because of Sakura’s presence or a familiarity due to her connections to Temari’s former lover. Which begged the question of how much the pinkette knew about his fate.

Gaara gave a deep sigh that did not go unnoticed by the room at large. It all came down to lovers and friends and family, in the end. They were what truly mattered. Sakura coughed lightly and he glanced at her. Conversation would normally pick up at this point, but the air was unusually tense. He blamed himself.

Gaara hadn’t meant to hurt her by keeping the knowledge of her former allies from her. It hadn’t been vindictive. He just did not know where they were. He had his theories, of course, but nothing solid enough to act on. And this bothered him more than he could admit.

They ate in silence for a few minutes. Or rather, Temari and Kankuro did, though they both paused a few times to glance at each other, like they were planning something. Temari had shifted to the edge of the seat, an eager look on her face. Sakura was pushing her food around on the plate, not eating. Like himself. Gaara had only taken a few bites before realising he wasn’t even hungry. And Kankuro was digging in, with gusto.

When Temari broke the silence, Gaara was grateful. For all of five seconds. Then he conjured a mental image of his hands strangling her.

“So…” She looked between Gaara and Sakura as she spoke. “It turns out one of the council members is a traitor, likely in cahoots with Danzo.”

Gaara glared at her. You did that on purpose.

She shrugged her shoulders with an air of indifference that he didn’t buy for a second. She’d been trying to convince him to let Sakura in on his ultimate plans for the Leaf Resistance, the future of Suna, and this Cold War. His sister wanted too much. He told her so. He’d been telling her so. But now, the decision was out of his hands. Sakura wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass. Kankuro put his cutlery down and leaned back, watching quietly. Amusement and curiosity danced in his eyes. Gaara could almost hear him thinking, well this should be interesting.

Sakura stopped playing with her food and looked up at Temari after side eyeing Gaara. He braced himself.

“How do you know there’s a traitor?”

“Through Lord Ebizō,” Temari said without hesitation. “Apparently, he’s been working with Gaara here.” She pointed her thumb at him as he scowled back at her. “They’ve found–”

“Temari.”

Kankuro made a soft sound the was halfway between a scoffed and snicker. Nobody paid him any mind.

Gaara glared at his sister. “She doesn’t need to know.”

She won’t be able to handle it, went unsaid.

He was aware of the insult to her person, but he couldn’t help himself. Kazekage or not, Sakura was under his care. She wasn’t one of his ninja. She was in no way his subordinate. Or professional equal. And as such, she was not to be privy to sensitive village information. He could not take responsibility for that. It was enough that he’d given Temari and Kankuro the highest security clearance legally possible for them simply because they were family. And the fact that they could handle it was beside the point.

This wasn’t a matter of trust. Sakura just wasn’t like them. Not anymore.

The pinkette scowled at him. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

Gaara sat up straighter. He matched her glare with one of his own. It was to be a battle of the wills, then.

.:.

Sakura did not pull her eyes from Gaara while Temari continued as though she hadn’t been interrupted.

“As you would know, communications between different Kage are always done in code or with a Kage-only sealing jutsu.”

Sakura nodded still staring at the Kazekage. She’d seen Tsunade pen letters to other Kage numerous times in both ways. Shizune had been a pro at transcribing the Hokage’s frustrated and eye-twitching candour to something more diplomatic. Sakura had never quite mastered that skill. Where Shizune excelled, Sakura fell behind. Where Sakura shined, Shizune’s skills were lacking. In that way, they’d complimented each other as Tsunade’s most trusted aides.

“Well,” Kankuro added, breaking his own silence. “Lord Ebizō came to Gaara with copies of transcribed missives that had deletion points in them.”

Sakura nodded again. A deletion point was exactly as it sounded. Information that was sent to Danzo must have been deleted at Suna’s end but not Konoha’s. It was off the record information. The only legitimate reason to delete parts of a message on the official, final copy, was for Kage level reasons. And this was clearly a deletion that Gaara had been unaware of.

What it even meant, she couldn’t say. But there was another problem.

“How…” she started softly, fighting to keep her staring match with the redhead. “How did he find it?”

It was a dangerous thing to do, but also difficult to detect. One might say damn near impossible, considering they shouldn’t have a reason for even looking for it. And whomever discovered the deletion point would have to be exceptionally skilled at Cryptanalysis. At the very least. Had it been Ebizō himself?

Temari answered her unasked question. “A new jounin found it. He wasn’t supposed to be there, apparently. Was just covering a shift for a friend. He’s listed primarily as a sensor ninja but apparently started his prior chunin career as a Cryptanalysis specialist.”

Sakura nodded again, finally understanding. “Lucky.”

“Yes. But unfortunately, he couldn’t tell who made the deletions.”

Of course. Sakura would be surprised if he had. So, this jounin had gone to Ebizō instead of the Kazekage? Maybe because it had been a Kage level security issue, he’d instead gone to the only person whose reputation was both impeccable as well as unquestionable.

“But how does that mean a council member did it?” Was she missing something?

It was Kankuro’s turn to answer. “Nobody in this room but Gaara could do it and we know he didn’t. The next line of suspects are the senior members of the council. Councillors Sajō, Ryūsa, and Tōjūrō are the senior advisors who legally have access to Kage level information. Officially, anyway.”

Because of course the Kazekage reserves the right to not inform them of anything if he doesn’t want to.

“How senior is Ebizō?”

“He leads the council.”

Sakura blinked heavily. So, it could’ve been Ebizō but wasn’t, because he brought it to Gaara’s attention. So, he was the only one they could trust. Almost as though this whole thing was a test that Gaara had set up to suss out the reliability of his subordinates. Except that he couldn’t have predicted this jounin’s inclusion. It would’ve been a piss poor test if nobody found it.

Sakura tapped her chin staring back into Gaara’s seafoam eyes with something akin to calmness. Almost like she was a real person having a legitimate conversation.

Well, look at me, acting like a normal, functioning person. What would my mirror image hallucination think about that?

“Councillors Sajō, Ryūsa, and Tōjūrō.”

She didn’t know anything about Ryūsa beyond some murmuring that he might lead the council one day. Tōjūrō was a complete mystery. But Sajō? Oh, Councillor Sajō she knew. That was a face she’d never forget, the arrogant, pompous, prick. She had fantasies about strangling him with his own intestines on a daily basis. If she could, she would.

Her eyes drifted as Sakura imagined, once again, the choking sounds of the older man as she throttled him. It took a few more seconds and a clearing of Gaara’s throat before she scowled, realising what had just happened. In her distraction, she’d accidentally broke eye contact with him. When she looked back at him, the Kazekage was looking smug.

Shit.

.:.

Gaara couldn’t contain his smirk as Sakura broke their staring contest. Something clunking around in her brain had distracted her.

Good.

“Councillors Sajō, Ryūsa, and Tōjūrō.” Sakura mumbled to herself once more, angling her body away from Gaara and his gaze. He kept watching, his face falling into a frown as she ignored him.

“It has to be Sajō,” she said.

“Why?” Temari asked.

Sakura pulled a face. “I’ve had the unfortunate displeasure of being hounded by him. He’s an arsehole.”

“His personality is not evidence,” Gaara intervened, and she glared at him before turning away again.

Sakura pursed her lips. “I know it’s him.”

“Okay.” His brother was driving Gaara crazy. Temari added to the frustration by echoing his words.

He couldn’t sit here and allow this anymore. “No,” he said.

Sakura clenched her fists, her eyes darting over to the corner of the room; she’d jumped slightly, but there was nothing there to startle her. Sometimes, Gaara wondered about that. Hallucinations.

“This isn’t up for discussion,” he said.

It was a wonder his sanity was still intact, dealing with her. She slammed her fists down on the table, dislodging silverware and making his siblings jump out of their skins, but not so hard as to damage the structural integrity of the furniture.

“You promised,” she said scathingly, glaring openly at him, and he was reminded of their argument that morning. “You said you would tell me–”

“I said that we’ll talk later,” he corrected her.

“About the Leaf Resistance!” She yelled and Temari and Kankuro’s heads whipped towards Gaara. He could feel their confusion and surprise but ignored them. “About what you’re doing! You said we should talk. We need to talk. So, let’s talk damn it!”

“This cipher talk isn’t about the Resistance,” he growled. “Nor is the traitor councillor.”

“Do you know that for sure?” She snapped. “Or are you just presuming? What if it’s all connected, Gaara? What if none of it is a coincidence?” She was on a roll now, taking a deep breath before charging into her new hypothesis with gusto. “Danzo doesn’t want a strong alliance with Suna, and we all know it. I’m not actually here to marry you! What if my mission is part of a larger plan? Sending a Root member with me when those tiny little fucking bastards are not actually trained in diplomacy? You have to admit that’s suspicious! So, what if his connection with this traitor has something to do with the Resistance? Or to undermine Suna because he already has a highly connected ally within your walls! What if it’s all connected? Did you ever stop to think about that?”

Gaara blinked heavily at her. Her deduction was quite the stretch. But crazier things had happened and he couldn’t think of a valid counter point, so he would be remiss to completely rule it out. He sighed. But this wasn’t the place to discuss this.

“I can help,” she said, her voice suddenly soft. He didn’t respond. “He won’t expect anything from me.”

“We don’t even know it’s him,” Gaara said. He was fighting with himself as much as her. He didn’t want to push her out of this, but it was political. And she wasn’t a Suna native. It wouldn’t be treason, but it would be dangerous. For both of them.

Maybe I’m overreacting.

He had no clue. Sakura’s face scrunched up as though she was in pain and her head dipped. She closed her eyes and he imagined she was struggling to calm herself. Was she having a panic attack? Gaara felt a similar spasm grasp his chest at the thought of having done this to her.

I can’t do anything right, with her.

She stood up abruptly, not looking at anyone. Her hands were balled into fists and Gaara’s stomach clenched painfully. Guilt. He felt the urge to say something, anything, to keep her from leaving this room angry. But nothing came to mind. He sat there, with his mouth slightly agape, unable to say the things she needed to hear.

Why?

There was a war in Gaara’s heart. The urge to protect her. The urge to respect her desire to participate. The urge to keep her far from the machinations of the evil of this world. He felt like he was being torn in too many different directions. But he knew that above all, he was being incredibly selfish.

With no regard for her uneaten dinner, Sakura stormed out.

He couldn’t release the groan that threatened to bubble up his throat. Gaara remembered he still had an audience and turned his head minutely to glance at them. Temari was frowning at him, her fingers tapping the table soundlessly. Kankuro was shaking his head, his lips twisted in barely controlled irritation. Gaara let that effervescent groan escape his mouth. He was an arsehole. He knew it. Because his siblings had never looked at him with so much disappointment before. Even when he let a demon out to play havoc on their village as a blood thirsty child.

.:.

When will I ever learn?

She was too emotional. Always had been. Weak. Pathetic. Emotional little girl. Expected too much of others. Presumed too much of herself. Stupid.

Sakura stormed up the internal staircase and slammed her bedroom door closed. She didn’t stop there, grabbing the cactus Matsuri and Yukata had given her (what else did she have?) and throwing it against the wall. Not the back of the door. No, not the chronicle of her timeline in Suna.

Soil spilled onto the floor, but the succulent remained firmly in the pot. The hardy bastard.

She let out a long-winded, slightly high-pitched groan. One minute Gaara was open and treating her like a human being and the next, looking down on her and breaking his promises. She felt so childish, but Sakura didn’t care. She wanted to rage and yell and pound some faces into the ground. She let her anger broil and seethe as she turned and threw herself at the bed. Head in the middle and feet dangling over the edge, she screamed into the blanket for all she was worth.

Which isn’t much, let’s be honest.

It was best to muffle her more violent urges. Noisy. Yes. The last thing she wanted was for someone to hear her screaming and to come running. If they would even. She scoffed. Sakura groaned, then rolled onto her back, grabbed the pillow, and attempted to suffocate herself. It wouldn’t be the first attempt since her arrival at Suna.

Who am I kidding?

She wasn’t trying to do anything to herself.

Sakura gripped the pillow harder, closed her eyes tightly and then screamed again. The muffled sound only made her ears pop. She sighed and sat up wearily. She needed to stop doing this to herself. After so long alone, Sakura had started to think she was a part of something. Maybe something special. Probably just something not toxic. Not dangerous. Kankuro was personable. Temari seemed genuinely happy to see her. But Gaara… fuck, she had to stop wanting more from him.

She shook herself and stood up as the mirage floated into the room, through that blasted window. Sakura’s heart raced and she shivered. Had the temperature dropped suddenly or was she just feeling the aftereffects of her panic attack? She watched as the mirage as it turned on the spot and seemed to only just notice her, glowering now.

“I hate you,” she said with conviction. I really do.

“You brought this on yourself,” it replied.

“Shut up.”

Its smile was cruel. Sakura closed her eyes and sat back down on the bed; hands fisted on her thighs.

“He doesn’t care about you.”

“Go away.”

“You’re useless to him.”

She wanted to cry. A choked sob escaped her before she could stop it. No. She was in control of this. Sakura threw her pillow at the mirage. And of course it sailed right through that smug, broken, and bloodied face. It was happy and angry at the same time. How could something that wasn’t even real hold any emotions at all?

“Are you even trying to escape this stupid hell hole?”

No, apparently Sakura had completely forgotten she wanted out of Suna. How long had it been? She paused in her internal debate to glance at the back of her bedroom door.

Twenty-five days so far.

“Ugh.”

Between wanting in on Gaara’s schemes and her ink creatures, Sakura still had no idea what she was doing. Her creations had scouted the village outskirts and even memorised the guard positions and patrol routes. There was no predictability to times, but the places were all the same. It was something to work with, at least. But it was getting her nowhere.

Twenty-five days and all she’d accomplished was making a fool of herself in front of everyone.

Gaara didn’t want her help. Her creatures had probably escaped this hell hole, leaving her behind. There was nothing to do. Nothing but sit in her room like a good girl and wait out whatever plan Gaara and his siblings had. Once the traitor had been identified and proven they could then tackle the political mess Danzo had Suna entrenched in. And Sakura would be free.

And this time I’ll run.

She’d kill the Root shadow and run. Sakura grasped at her chest, grinning despite the hole in her heart. She didn’t notice the single tear at first. It contained all her hopes for being human again. She wiped at it, not sure what to think of it. But she was spared that particular, repetitive self-flagellation at the abrupt sound of a hiss. She started, spinning around quickly. Her kunai was still in the hole in the windowsill. Conveniently between her and the source of the disturbance.

I really need a better hiding place.

Or multiple kunai dipped in poison. Yes, that would be better. More kunai, more targets. She smiled ruefully at that, her focus snapping to the window. She breathed a sigh of relief when there was no attack but rather the shadows of familiar shapes.

They’re finally back.

The ink creatures. The vulture-like bird and viper shaped snake. They slid into the room through the open window, moving in tandem. Between the two of them they had a death grip on something. Something distinctly snake-shaped and presumably dead. A wide grin spread over her face, and they halted their movements.

“Yes,” she hissed. She inched toward them as the ink bird hopped impatiently, releasing its own grip. When she touched the real snake softly, the ink snake twisted its body, tightening its hold on the carcass. The snake was indeed dead. She sighed, relieved. That would make this much easier. The chemical make-up of venom did not change after the snake died. So, theoretically, she should be able to extract the venom and use it, no problem.

Sakura vividly remembered a description of the milking process from a snake husbandry book during her genin days in Konoha.

Press down on the back of the snake’s head after it bites the container. The fangs will drip out venom for at least fifteen to twenty seconds.

Those instructions had been for a live snake. She cocked her head at the dead one as it was still being half-heartedly strangled by living ink, at her feet. Well, hopefully its deceased status wouldn’t make a difference other than ease of access. Hopefully.

Do I do this now?

Normally, she’d wait for the other occupants of the household to go to bed before doing something she didn’t want to be walked in on doing. Right now, standing, staring, and contemplating her sanity carried a high risk of interruption.

Sakura glanced up at the clock. She’d only been back in the room for almost two minutes. It felt far longer. She sighed, resigned, and shooed her hand at the ink creatures. Trying to corral cats would be easier. They just sat and stared at her. Or rather, the snake remained motionless except for the occasional tightening of its possessive grip and the bird cocked its head at her. Much like she’d done a moment ago. Not that it made a difference if they suddenly started towards the bathroom or something, to keep out of sight. And this whole thing would be far safer if she waited, anyway. She’d already been waiting two days for their return to begin, what was a few more hours?

Still feels like I’ve been pacing impatiently for far longer.

She sat on the edge of her bed and closed her eyes. Her emotions had settled. She felt so drained. But not exhausted. There was an old meditation technique that Lady Tsunade had taught her, and she was just scooting back further onto the bed to try it when Sakura paused, startled by the sudden rush of chakra.

Gaara’s chakra.

Gaara’s knock on her door.

“Is he here to apologise?” She’d forgotten about the mirage. Its singsong, mocking voice floated over to her. “I don’t think so.”

She inhaled deeply, unable to stop the sudden hiccupping sob that sounded from her mouth. All the anger and fear and feelings of resentment and abandonment that had just disappeared, all the tension in her body, suddenly returned with a vengeance. How could one person, so innately collected and calm, invoke such a raging storm inside her? She hated it. And right now, she hated him.

“Stop lying.”

Go away.

He wasn’t going away.

Fuck the mirage. She wanted Gaara to leave her alone. But she also wanted him to persist. To show her she was worth the effort. That he cared. Sakura wiped at her tears and attempted to make her face look presentable. Maybe he would give up. In that case the only person who would see her tears was herself.

He knocked again.

“Sakura?” That deep, soft voice. Gods.

What is he doing to me?

.:.

Moonlight filtered in through her window as Sakura stared at the door. The ink creatures twittered and hissed, respectively, nearby and she wasn’t ready for Gaara to see them.

“Think he’ll actually call you crazy this time?”

Maybe. The mirage grinned at her thought.

“Sakura?”

Right, he was still outside her room. She fought the urge to flee. It had been her default state since arriving in Suna and it was beyond exhausting.

And embarrassing.

She glanced at the snake and bird before slowly opening the door half a foot and holding tightly to the frame to keep him from pushing it open. If he had such a notion. Sakura forced herself to look him in the eye.

The shame. His face was full of it.

“Hi.”

He nodded but before Gaara could respond, Sakura moved forward, placing a trembling hand on his chest, keeping her eyes on his. Pale green irises widened but he didn’t complain. Feeling more confident, Sakura pushed him gently and closed the door behind herself. In the hallway. Alone. Together. Her other hand found its way to his chest and Sakura felt his heart beat a little faster under her fingertips.

“It’s a nice night,” she said, her voice low and strong. Maybe. She had no idea. It just had to be strong enough to project confidence. Conviction she missed about her past herself. She was trying, really. “Let’s go to the roof.”

His eyes searched hers wordlessly, clearly trying to figure out what her plan was. What she was thinking. Why she was thinking it. Maybe even if she was trying to trick him. He’d deserve it, after that display during dinner, but Sakura tried for her most saccharine smile.

Seemingly convinced, he slipped his right arm around her waist and pulled her gently toward him, flush against his body. Sand whipped up around them and she couldn’t stop the light gasp for the life of her. Steeling herself, Sakura gripped harder to him as they disappeared from the hallway outside her bedroom and her centre of gravity shifted and they reappeared on the roof of the Kazekage mansion.

The cold night air hit her first. She shivered but didn’t complain. She expected Gaara to pull away immediately but his hold on her remained firm. Almost like it was his apology. Or he was working up to one. Sakura waited. And glanced around, remembering that the Root shadow would be able to see them from the outside, on the roof, even if he couldn’t hear them.

She could imagine that freak’s reaction if he was watching right now. Sakura remembered, one of the few times the masked man hadn’t berated her on their three-day journey to Suna he’d gone over her expectations on this mission. He’d expected her to lull Gaara into a false sense of security. To take advantage of him. To play the part of a girl being sold off.

Use your assets, he’d said, leering at her. It’s not like you haven’t done this before.

Danzo had not ordered her to sleep with, let alone woo Gaara, specifically. But it was in every look he’d given her before sending her off. It was in between every line in the official papers for this mission. Of course, she’d ignored it. Sakura hadn’t planned to be here this long. But here she was, with Gaara’s arm around her, and all Sakura could think of was that, technically, this was supposed to be a seduction mission. She hadn’t foreseen viewing Gaara as a sexual being. It had snuck up on her, now painfully obvious. Sakura knew it before but a part of her had also denied it, but it was true. There was no going back now. She wanted him.

Desperately.

But she was done hoping he would start anything. Gaara wasn’t like that.

Sakura started as his left arm came around to embrace her. His chin resting on top of her head, and he let out a soft sigh. It made her body tremble in response, and she wondered what he was trying to do if not turn her on. This was out of character for him. As far as she could tell. She inhaled deeply. And he needed to stop smelling so good too.

Because it’s hot as fuck.

She wanted to dominate him. The feeling wasn’t new to her but the chance to be the one in control, was. All she’d ever done is exude a fake version of confidence. Sex was methodical. A tool. To her, at least. And here was Gaara, making her want something else. Something more.

But how am I supposed to get that?

She had no idea how to instigate this. Reluctantly, Sakura released her hold on Gaara and after a few moments of what seemed like internal contemplation, he uncoiled his arms, removing them from her hips gently. Always the gentleman. Never the paramour. She cleared her throat and took a step backwards.

He wouldn’t want me that way, anyway.

She needed to get this under control. This level of intensity wasn’t natural for her. It had to be a side effect of either the prazosin drug she was taking or her anxiety. Post Traumatic Distress Disorder. She wasn’t so stupid as to presume she’d survived the last few years with her sanity intact. And it would explain so much.

“I’m sorry.”

Sakura’s jaw dropped at Gaara’s words. He was sorry. She blinked stupidly at him.

“For everything,” he said.

She nodded slowly, licking her lips absentmindedly. Yes, he’d been an arse. She could accept this. She stared at him for a moment, contemplating how to go about the discussion she wanted to have with him. He kept eye contact, obviously content with waiting for her input. She tried to smile but her lips quivered.

Sakura sighed.

“Councillor Sajō. He came to a few of the wedding planning sessions,” she said, deciding on a change of topic. “He was abrupt but otherwise respectful to the other ladies. But he kept glancing at me.” She shuddered at the memory. “He didn’t like what he saw. And he hates me. I know it’s not a lot to go on,” she added. “I’m sorry I was so pushy and defensive about it.”

“It’s not your fault.”

Sakura didn’t think he had anything to base that on. Sometimes she thought he had a secret file that occasionally leaked information about her to him, in minute amounts; just enough for him to get glimpses into her psyche, but not enough for a deep dive. Enough for his pity to sting her. To burn. And enough for him to think her some kind of helpless victim.

She stood straighter, shoulders pushed back, and chin raised. Sakura had never been good at hiding her feelings, even after the Root commanded that had trained her in the early days of Danzo’s reign got tired of her lack of control. The man had very little patience for emotional outbursts. He could teach her all manner of underhanded jutsu and Root-based tactics but mental conditioning to suppress her emotions? She was never going to master that. Not to his satisfaction, anyway. There was no seal on her tongue. Danzo didn’t stick needles in her eyes and brainwash her. No, he just had his subordinates torture her. Poke her full of holes. Heal her. Fry her. Rinse and repeat. She was fun to play with, apparently. Even more so than some others because an unwilling servant could scream the loudest.

“The council has always been difficult,” Gaara interrupted her thoughts, running a hand through his hair distractedly. He looked past her, as though someone had appeared suddenly, and she had to refrain from turning to look. But there had to be nobody there because his demeanour didn’t change. “They do like to make up their own rules sometimes.”

“I can believe that. Especially after that councillor started having me followed.”

Sakura was adamant that Sajō had. The Root shadow never seemed bothered by it. He’d even laughed a few times when she’d stopped on her way back to the Kazekage’s mansion, sensing the darkening presence behind her. Escorted by Matsuri and Yukata, she was shielded by their presence. Their limited protection. But the moment she strayed again; Sakura knew all bets would be off.

And who knows what Sajō is actually willing to throw down?

Would he have her cornered and interrogated? Would he stoop to physically attacking her? Maybe an attack like that would-be-assassin? He was making sure she stayed in line. After their run-in at the council building, she showed herself to be a loose cannon. And if Sajō was in league with Danzo, then it was likely the Root shadow would help him.

She explained all of this to Gaara, leaving out how her contemplation on how far Sajō would go intrigued her. If the old man gave her a reason to fight back, she would. Gaara frowned, concern marring his features.

“It has to be him,” she said.

“It’s at least a place to start,” he agreed.

Sakura smiled widely at him, warmth spreading over her face. Was she blushing? But hope had burgeoned in her chest, and she didn’t care, either way. His eyes softened as he stared back at her, and she had to push down the sudden urge to throw her arms around him.

“I can help,” she said. It wasn’t meant as a reprimand, but Gaara’s face shifted into stony seriousness.

“I know,” he said, his voice low and ashamed. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

She nodded. “You know… I can handle myself.”

“I know–”

“I just…”

Sakura glanced around the rooftop, remembering another night when he’d followed her up here and she’d killed a masked assassin. It felt like years had passed since then. Being here for the first time since then brought it all back. The blood on her hands. The rain gently trying, and failing, to wash it away. Her mind spasming in ecstasy at the opportunity to finally get to kill something. When she eventually turned back to Gaara she found him looking around in a similar manner, a faraway, contemplative expression on his face.

Does he think of that night often, too?

“We never talked about that night,” she said, and suddenly had his full attention again. “I killed a man–”

“Who was trying to kill you,” he interrupted, but she kept going, unimpeded.

“–right here. I tore into him. And I know you know I took pleasure in it.” She inhaled deeply, her breath shaky, and ignoring the way he looked pensive. “And I know you know… that I’m not…” She struggled to find the right way to explain how she’d lost the plot without sounding dramatic. But it wouldn’t come. Instead, she tried another angle. “Sometimes it comes in flashes. I’ll be okay one moment and then… I’ll just want to dig my kunai into something. Or even my bare hands. That ache. That desire.” She sighs. “I know you understand.”

Because you used to be out of control too went unsaid.

“And I see things…” She cut herself off quickly, not wanting to go further down that rabbit hole.

Gaara’s eyes had widened slightly at that admission, but he didn’t say anything. She was grateful for that.

Anyway…

“I’m not all there, I know. But I’m not so far gone that–”

“You’re not crazy, Sakura. You’re not worthless or useless or unworthy.” Gaara narrowed his eyes at her. His hands twitched, like he too was fighting the urge for them to embrace. She longed for that warmth again, shifting the weight between her feet nervously.

He stared at her intensely and she swallowed heavily in a vain attempt to stop the flow of tears. They stuck in the corner of her eyes in warning, and she tried so hard to keep them from falling, clenching her fists, digging her nails into her hands. Whatever she needed to do. Sakura nodded her head in agreement even as she refused to accept his sweet words.

But her gratitude towards this man was so strong that she couldn’t restrain the single sob from ripping out of her mouth. Now, she couldn’t stop the light tears now gathering along her eyelashes, threatening to obscure her vision. Sakura hugged herself as Gaara reached out to wipe the tears away. He was so tender and considerate. She felt like she was going to break from his kindness. It was good. But it was also torture.

Even after his outbursts and stubbornness to keep her in the dark, she couldn’t begrudge him forgiveness.

Sakura sniffed and leaned into his touch lightly, even as she was unable to bring herself to look at him. He cupped her cheek for a few moments, just holding his hand still against her before slowly wiping at her eyes again. When he removed his hand completely, it wasn’t done hastily or roughly. She didn’t feel rejected. She felt calmer. More in control.

“Sakura… I…”

What could he say? She didn’t know.

“Let’s go on that date.”

But apparently, he does.

She started, looking up at him in surprise. That came out of nowhere. But to be fair, it was something they’d already talked about. Once she got over the initial shock, Sakura found herself smiling her way through the mild panic at the thought of officially dating him.

“Now?”

He nodded.

“It’s a bit late.”

Gaara smiled wryly. “I don’t sleep much, and you don’t… have to go to the wedding planner tomorrow.”

That was true. It was officially her day off. She’d planned to spend it in the training grounds and also use some of that time to hone her ink crafting skills again. Sakura no longer felt the compulsion to escape Suna, though a deep seeded feeling of unease from merely being in Suna still ate at her. Everything she did now was just to pass the time, out of habit, or necessity. But this… yeah, she wanted to change things up a bit.

“O-okay.” She cleared her throat. “Yes. Let’s… uh,” she blushed, “go on that date.”

Gaara must have been thinking about this more than she realised. He rattled off a few ideas, all of which she could picture being interrupted and annoyed by the ever-present Root shadow in her wake. But several of the ideas sounded like they might just be in a no-go zone for her stalker.

Only one way to find out.

And it was a shame her mirage couldn’t be kept out of things as easily.

Sakura realised, as Gaara tentatively explained how this place and that place were in high security areas and had amazing views of the village, that of course the Shadow wasn’t allowed in all areas of Suna. She could’ve slapped herself for not thinking of it earlier. It was even likely he wasn’t allowed anywhere near Suna’s shinobi academy. All of this must have been covered back when they’d arrived and Baki had run down official rules to them both. She hadn’t been paying attention back then.

So many places I could’ve lost him in. Buried him, more like.

“Something casual,” Gaara was saying, bringing Sakura’s attention back to their impending date. Were they just going somewhere casual? Or was he talking about their relationship? Or maybe what they were going to wear? Well, there wasn’t anything casual about being engaged. It was still a farce, but it no longer felt trivial to her.

Okay, she could do this. She cleared her throat. “Yes, casual.”

Was that a smirk?

“We’ll need somewhere with food,” she added, ignoring the flush that his smirk had invoked along her body. They were both acutely aware neither of them had eaten their dinner. But Sakura didn’t want some homemade food for this. “Or money to buy some.”

“There are a number of acceptable vendors open this time of night.”

“Right.”

“I asked you out,” he said, his face tinging pink. “I will pay any and all fees.”

She wasn’t going to argue with that, since she was flat broke. It wasn’t like Danzo cared to pay her for any of her missions. She inwardly scoffed at the notion. The only things she owned were from before his takeover or what she’d managed to steal over the years. She would have to go through the clothes in the wardrobe in her bedroom. Again. At least there more options to choose from now, since both Matsuri and Yukata had made a point of restocking that threadbare closet.

“And I’ll change into something less... I mean more comfortable.” She spluttered. “I mean something casual.” She bit her lip in embarrassment. They were a pair of tomatoes. “Meet you back here in fifteen?”

Gaara nodded, his smile infectious as she returned it before turning on the spot and leaving him alone on the roof. She hadn’t even thought to ask him to use his sand, perhaps because she was still subconsciously remembering the ink creatures. They needed to be dealt with first, before she went anywhere.

Gaara will wait.

She knew he would.

.:.

The night was alive with the sounds and lights that made up the heart of Suna.

And the hounding footsteps of her eternal stalker. The closer they moved towards the lights and sounds, the further the Root retreated into the shadows. It faded into the background but refused to disappear completely. She would not turn her head to give it the attention it craved.

Instead, Sakura took in the sights and sounds, feeling like a proper tourist for the first time in her life. Gaara took her down a small path that led from the Kazekage mansion to the larger maze of interconnected paths to the thoroughfare of the village. From this narrow road, all other paths diverged. And his chosen path opened up into a lively and festival area.

There was no official looking celebration or staged performance, but the atmosphere had a similar ambience to them both. And the people were in merriment as though there really was a carnival going on. Sakura wondered if this was a new thing, because of the tensions of the Cold War and people just wanting to forget for a time, or if Suna had always occasionally held large-scaled revelries. Civilians behind the walls of any village, hidden and safer than most, couldn’t understand what it was really like out there, surely.

Enough of the doom and gloom.

The Root shadow followed as they moved deeper into the edge of the festivities, where the crowd was thinnest, keeping away from the louder groups. Far away. Some people turned to look at them; they recognised Gaara, despite his casual long styled jinbei, but Sakura’s casual shirt and trousers would not have screamed her identity more than her shocking pink hair. Even drab, it stood out. Fortunately, the crowd was sparse, having died down from the dinner rush, which meant the menu selections were limited but that suited them just fine.

Sakura tried not to notice how many people there really were. Nor the concerned look on Gaara’s face when he clearly noticed her anxiety. A few vendors sat on the outskirts of this rabble and Gaara steered them towards the first of the street food merchants, his hand on the small of her back. Sakura eyed the yakisoba but ultimately decided on yakitori. Gaara chose the same.

“I cannot take your money, Lord Kazekage,” the flustered merchant waved his hands frantically, when Gaara went to pay for it. “A treat for your lady friend. On the house.”

Sakura inhaled deeply, not wanting to speak for fear of setting off her anxiety. There were enough eyes on her. And the Shadow was ever present, even in the background. She took a deep breath and followed Gaara as he led her to an open dining area that was mostly empty. They sat on the tableless chairs and ate, just enjoying the distantly happy atmosphere and their silent company. It was oddly comfortable.

There was a tradition in Suna, or so Gaara had told her on the walk down the paths to this district. He’d learned about it from his brother. Like bar hopping in Konoha, this was called stall hopping – on dates or festival nights, going from one vendor to the next, buying a single, small portion of food, then moving onto the next vendor to repeat the process. It sounded interesting. Having finished their seasoned chicken, they now had their meat. Their animal protein.

The next stall had to be different. That was the tradition.

With Gaara’s arm pressed lightly and confidently against Sakura’s lower back, they continued to the next stall, which specialised in rice and seaweed as their main ingredients. Here, the vendor owner also refused Gaara’s money and ladled their plates with a serving of Onigiri and a shrimp tempura roll and ushered them to some seats nearby.

Sakura supposed it was good for business too, having the Kazekage seen at their stall.

“No, no, Lord Kazekage! I will not have it!” The third vendor followed the example of the previous ones, refusing Gaara’s money as well.

He was flushed at the intensity of their refusals and Sakura had to hide a smile behind her hand.

“Looks like they like you too much,” she whispered.

“Your lady friend will eat for free too.”

Gaara had clearly never actually done anything like this before. The novelty was something to behold. They both ordered a small bowl of miso soup, and this time chose to sit closer to the stall as they consumed their food. Sakura took the opportunity to study him as he delicately sipped at his miso, not bothering with the seaweed within the soup.

His sharp features made her feel nostalgia for the days when a pretty face would have her bumbling over her words or blushing just thinking about some boy’s eyes on her. She closed her eyes as images of Sasuke glaring at her popped into her mind. Her innocent, naïve days were over.

“They like you too,” Gaara whispered softly, and she looked over to see that he’d finished already. He wasn’t looking at her, but she took comfort from the gentle smile on his lips as he looked out over the scant crowd.

Her heart was hammering in her chest, but she tried to ignore it. She’d never been on a date before but had gossiped in her early years of puberty about all the different ways to go about it and how the boy in question would dote on her. However, none of them had involved stall hopping for a street vendor mixed with Kaiseki styled meals for an on the move dinner.

If only we could have done this without a stalker watching our every move.

She pointedly ignored the mostly invisible monster. When they were done, Sakura wanted the next stall to be a dessert one. Gaara pulled a face at the sweets before him, and Sakura laughed at the way he fake-coughed like it would get him out of helping her choose something.

Gaara turned his nose up at the dumplings and imagawayaki that Sakura had pointed out, making her giggle more like she was a real girl on a date this time. He really didn’t like sweets. There was no fried ice-cream, which she assumed he’d like better, but she convinced him to try some savory senbei. He didn’t flinch at the taste, and she grinned at him like she’d won a prize. His skin flushed a light pink, but he said nothing.

This merchant also refused his money and Sakura found herself comforting Gaara’s obvious unease by rubbing her hand along his lower back. The move surprised them both but except for a moment’s hesitation, she didn’t let it stop her from continuing. Until their food came and she focused on the task of consuming her dumplings without choking from embarrassment.

Their final vendor was a tea stand. This owner was just as impressed by the appearance of the Kazekage and finally, Gaara didn’t bother feeling too awkward about their insistence regarding payment. They took their green tea and decided to stroll out of the district, side by side, arms down, hands brushing against each other every now and then. And like naïve teenagers who’d never done anything romantic before, they wore identical looks of shyness and happiness. It was a great feeling. An unfamiliar feeling, for them both.

“I’m proud of you, Gaara.”

He blinked at her. “I should say the same.”

She smiled as they moved away, the food stalls gave way to a larger area. The food here came in restaurant size, but they bypassed it, keeping to the edge. But all good things do come to an end.

Because I’m a freak.

There was a commotion. Not a violent one by the sounds of it, but it seemed that some people were making a fuss in a crowd nearby. Yelling. Whooping. Drunken noises. Sounds that mimicked festivities that had gotten out of hand. The crowd was larger than Sakura was used to, and she hesitated on the threshold. She closed her eyes for a second to control her breathing, taking a small, unconscious step away from it. Her heart was racing again, her palms sweaty. Gaara stood silently and patiently beside her. He touched her arm softly when it was clear she wasn’t going anywhere.

“Are you okay?”

She couldn’t nod or speak, just trying to focus on her breathing. Her ears were ringing but it came and went quickly. Sakura grasped Gaara’s hand that had touched her, startling him. He took the hint and led her away from it. There were more commotions, but not as loud or out of control this time. The people were just having fun. Sakura didn’t know what had drawn their attention as she was not focusing on anything other than moving her feet and how warm Gaara’s hand felt against her skin.

And as they came to the edge of these newer sounds, she didn’t hesitate. “Let’s have a look.”

“Are you sure?”

He clearly was worried she wouldn’t be able to handle it, and he had reason to. She wasn’t exactly exuding confidence. But Sakura wanted to go down there and just check it out, at least. To find out what had drawn the attention of so many if not the usual things attributed to festivities, like games or fireworks. They didn’t have to stay for long. Just long enough to satisfy her curiosity.

Sakura reached out and entwined their hands before she could stop herself out of embarrassment. “I’ll squeeze your hand when I want to leave.”

He nodded, swallowing heavily and gently squeezing her hand in affirmation.

Okay, then.

Sakura took a deep breath. I can do this.

She’d already endured the inquisitive stares of the scattered people at the street stalls; this was just another step in the right direction. And if she could do all that under the eye of the Root, then she could do anything. It was just another challenge to overcome. And she so desperately wanted to overcome it.

They were recognised of course, and more than one set of eyes drifted to their entwined hands. Her skin felt clammy all of a sudden and a light squeeze from Gaara both set her heart aflutter and calmed her nerves. They only stayed for a few minutes. The lights were bright and the people, laughing and swaying, were loud and friendly. But she’d finally had enough.

Masks.

It was a mask gathering, themed not unlike the Matsuri festival back in Konoha. Not everyone was wearing a mask but there were small groups of impromptu dancers and some scattered musicians. They had the appearance of entertainers who had just come off some kind of travelling troupe but didn’t look out of place. Not like her. Sakura felt underdressed all of a sudden but pushed that anxiety down.

She gently squeezed Gaara’s hand, and he immediately steered them to a path that would lead away from the festivities. Like the interconnected paths she imagined it also led to the thoroughfare. But they didn’t get a chance to use it. There was a cry of something that sounded like frustration and excitement to her right and Sakura stiffened as a clearly very drunk civilian came stumbling as quickly as he could towards them. He made flailing motions with his arms, his face twisted in a grin and nonsensical words on his slurred and unintelligible tongue.

Ugly, rotten teeth. Polished and dangerous.

That peel of laughter wasn’t coming from the drunkard. It was seeping out of the shadows.

Sakura reeled, almost falling over. Gaara held her and she gripped his hand so hard she would’ve broken his sand armour if he’d bothered to wear it. The lights and sounds of the festivities brightened and blinded her. Hazy and screaming. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t ask Gaara for help. She couldn’t do a damn thing.

But true to his promise, Gaara was pulling her to him, flush against his chest. Sand whipped up around them, scaring off the drunkard. Sakura closed her eyes as the Kazekage teleported them away. When her feet hit the ground, she let her head fall forward onto Gaara’s chest. She felt the warmth of his hand on her back as he attempted to soothe her. Face pressed against his chest. Ascending numbers flashing through her mind’s eye. Breathing. Leaning into his embrace. Her body sagged. But she was calming down.

The Shadow is gone.

Sakura lost count of those ascending numbers, not knowing how long it really took for her to come back to herself. But she did. And Gaara moved with her as she pulled away, peering at her. Assessing her. Like he cared. She was learning to love those pale green eyes of his.

Fuck it. Why are you so good to me?

“Why…”

Gaara hushed her as she lost that train of thought. She looked around, realising she did not recognise the area he’d teleported them to. Sakura’s head swivelled around several times as she tried to take in the view. They were in what looked like a forest sanctuary. Or rather the kind of forest that Suna could provide with limited resources. The colour green was everywhere. Gardens. Stone pathways. And a dome nearby that screamed, “there’s a greenhouse inside me!”.

“Where are we?”

“The west gardens,” Gaara said. “This area is out of bounds. Only select individuals are allowed here, and only with my permission.”

More places the Shadow can’t reach.

She felt special. And she loved the place on sight. The foreboding pressure had released, and Sakura suddenly felt lighter than air. “Okay, give me a tour,” she said, not having to force her face to smile.

Gaara nodded, gently taking her hand once more. She soaked it all in as they walked along the path and he explained what she was seeing, in that simple but intelligent way of his. On paper, his words would sound clipped, but they came out so serene and husky that Sakura found herself hypnotised by them.

His voice.

She sighed. They found a bench and she let go of his hand before lowering herself onto it. She felt very nervous as Gaara sat beside her. Inches apart. She couldn’t decide which was worse: the way her libido occasionally went into overdrive around him or her current uncomfortable feeling like she was some virginal teenager who didn’t know how to behave in her own skin.

A shock of light and sound. Sakura whipped her head to the side in time to see an explosion of fireworks. She jumped to her feet quickly and scanned the horizon. Gaara stood and mimicked her pose.

“I forgot about that,” he said slowly, and she understood. This was a rare occurrence. Which meant she didn’t want to miss it.

Sakura took his hand and pulled him along as she raced towards it. Still in the gardens, they found the edge of the gardens that overlooked a significant portion of the village and she let herself fall backwards onto the grass. Gaara chuckled as he lay next to her. They had a great view of the fireworks erupting above the village.

They lay next to each other silently, just watching, leaning back on their elbows, and just enjoying the company. Eventually, the fireworks began to die down and, even though there was no hint of it on the horizon, Sakura was sure the sun wouldn’t be far away.

“Thank-you,” she said softly.

“You’re welcome.”

The stars twinkled. The blackness unable to mask their delight. She smiled at that observation. Sakura wanted to just lay here forever. Forget the Root shadow. Forget Danzo. Forget the council and Sajō and whomever it was that was colluding with the usurper Hokage. She just wanted to lie next to Gaara and forget the world. Or maybe she was more worried about getting too comfortable. The night was very, very late. She suppressed a yawn and had to physically stop herself from just flopping onto her back, in fear she’d fall asleep here and never wake up. Gaara, on the other hand, looked well rested. Or just not tired. Whichever.

She turned her gaze back to the stars. The blinking contrast between sparkles and darkness reminded her suddenly of her ink creatures. The light against the black ink sky. The way they seemed to fight each other for dominance. Yet nothing changed.

For almost a month, Sakura had been trying to find her way. Either a way out of the village or a way out of her own head. A path forward, made of the same stones as the ones in these gardens. And definitely not populated by the noisy nighttime carousers. But now, lying next to Gaara and wondering what this night would mean for their non-relationship, Sakura knew suddenly what to do. It was so very clear now.

She sat up straight and turned to face her fake fiancé turned real date, surprising him. He mirrored her movements, openly curious.

“Gaara,” she said. “I made ink creatures.”

Curiosity turned to confusion on his face. “Creatures?”

“Yes, chakra infused creatures made of ink.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her but remained silent.

“They’re hiding in my bathroom right now,” she added, knowing how weird that sounded.

“Why?”

“Why did I make them or why are they hiding?”

“Both.”

Sakura sighed. “I don’t think it’s a surprise that I didn’t choose to come here. Not under my own volition, anyway.” He nodded. “I… have wanted to leave the moment I arrived.” He didn’t look surprised. “The past few years all I could think of was getting away from Danzo. Especially the last six months, with him sending me on suicide runs.”

Gaara’s eyes widened. “He–”

“Let me get this out, please?”

He nodded again.

She cleared her throat. “I’m an idiot though. Every chance I got to get away, I squandered. Every moment in which I could slip away unseen, I freeze like my life depends on it. On my last mission I almost did leave. I saw the Konoha gate come up as I approached… it was so achingly familiar but alien at the same time. Everything about the Leaf is so… wrong, now. I wanted to get away from it. But I didn’t. Couldn’t bring myself to.” She sighed. “I guess I’m just as useless–”

“Stop.” Gaara scowled at her. “Don’t say that.”

Sakura hadn’t answered his question yet, but he suddenly didn’t seem to care. He rose to his knees and took her hands in his. They were warm and safe and not what she would’ve thought possible. Not for her.

“Sakura…” he trailed off for a moment. “it’s called self-sabotage. People do it to themselves, for years at a time even. It doesn’t make them useless. Or stupid. Or any other thing you’re thinking about yourself right now. None of that is true. I… spoke with a civilian therapist,” he said quickly, and she realised her surprise must’ve registered on her face.

A civilian therapist?

“I know what you’re talking about,” she said. “Its clinical term is Behavioural Dysregulation.”

It was a conscious (or unconscious) habit of doing things that were bad for oneself. It didn’t take a degree in clinical psychology to have heard of it, she supposed. Sakura had done quite a lot of reading on that subject, and similar, before everything went to shit. Lady Tsunade had wanted to begin incorporating mind healing into Konoha’s medical training facility.

Sakura gave a sad smile at that memory.

“Do you think…” Gaara cleared his throat. “You’d talk to one too? About… everything.”

Sakura pulled a face. “I don’t think a civilian would understand.”

The one Tsunade had proposed would’ve included both civilian and ninja therapists, though.

“Right.”

She watched Gaara closely as he released her hands and turned his head away. What he was looking at, she couldn’t tell. But his silence had an air of disappointment and contemplativeness to it.

Well, this sucks.

“I created them to scout out the village.”

He looked at her sharply.

At least he’s looking at me now.

“So, I could see the weakness in the guard patrols and escape.”

“Have you?”

She shook her head. There was no relief on his face, only contemplation. And… was he curious about them?

She decided to presume he was. “You want to see them?”

“I’m curious.”

Sakura flushed. “O-okay.”

They stood quickly and awkwardly. For a moment, neither of them moved, but then the warmth of his hand enveloped hers; his free arm snaking around her waist and holding her tightly. Gaara teleported them directly into her bedroom. Sakura trembled lightly as her feet hit the floor, but whether from nerves or the return of her libido she wasn’t sure. Her skin tingled, so maybe it was excitement. She pulled out of his grip quickly.

“Wait here,” she said and Gaara obeyed. She rushed into the bathroom and low and behold, the bird and snake were still holding onto the carcass.

Snake, she thought. I’ll call the ink snake ‘snake’ and the real, dead one ‘serpent’.

But the question that she needed to answer, and quickly before Gaara grew impatient, was whether or not to bring both. Sakura still wanted to keep secrets from him. She liked him. She trusted him. But she also didn’t trust her faith in him. Some things she just didn’t want to share.

But I told him I made creatures. As in, plural.

She sighed. She could always make more, anyway.

“Let go of the carcass,” she said softly, hoping Gaara didn’t have superhuman hearing. The ink bird released its hold while the snake curled its body for a moment, tightening the hold like a child refusing to behave. Then it was releasing it, dropping the carcass carelessly.

As she stood up, Sakura caught the reflection of herself in the bathroom mirror. It was very different to the underfed and ghastly image she’d seen the last time. She paused then smiled and turned away.

“Come on,” she told them, and the bird hopped along the floor after her. The snake seemed hesitant, and Sakura wondered if maybe she’d done something wrong.

She reached down to grab it, and it quickly wrapped its body around her arm gently as she left the bathroom. The bird twittered as it followed and then screeched at the sight of Gaara. He raised an eyebrow at it. Sakura had no idea it could do that. It didn’t have a syrinx, or any kind of noise making membranes, in its windpipe or otherwise. She wondered if it was just because of her. Sai had never mentioned anything about his creations having the ability to make noise, let alone having personalities.

I’m cracked so they are too.

It made no sense, but she supposed it didn’t matter.

It’s probably all just in my head.

Gaara watched them curiously. Sakura watched him nervously. He made no reaction to the noises the bird was making so she decided it was just all in her head. Even if he did twitch slightly when it went to peck him. Fake birds were not faster than a Kazekage. She decided to give him a rundown of her intentions with the creatures. He listened with rapt attention and Sakura found herself becoming more and more excited that someone was hearing this. Finally. She was rambling but it was kind of fun to have someone else to share this with.

“You used them to scout the village perimeter?” He asked when her rambling finally came to an end.

Sakura nodded, unable to stop the flush from heating up her neck. Was it okay that she’d done that? Probably not. But he didn’t seem put out. Maybe he was thinking about how it could help with that councillor? Or the entire council. Or maybe it was just her wishful thinking.

“What will you do with them now?”

So much for him thinking of this strategically.

“I want to help you.”

Gaara stood and walked over to her. He stopped inches in front of her. The movement could be confused with an attempt to intimidate her, but she knew he wouldn’t do that. Instead of trying to stare her down or talk her out of it, he reached out and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. The small part of her that still responded to romantic and kind gestures was weak at the knees right now. Not the rest of her. Just the girlish side. She swallowed heavily, overwhelmed with gratitude.

“Okay,” he said finally.

“Okay?”

He smiled. “Okay.”

Sakura laughed. “Okay.”

The way he was looking at her… she desperately wanted to kiss him. Or for him to kiss her. But she knew he wouldn’t. Gaara would not presume such a forward action. He was poised. He was a gentleman. But gods did she want him to toss that aside and just fucking snog her. Maybe get in a few gropes and pelvis grinding.

Sakura forced herself to relax, realising she’d tensed up the more she contemplated the idea of Gaara pressing her against the wall. He didn’t look fazed by her weird demeanour. The snake tightened itself around her arm for a moment, but she ignored it. It wasn’t important. Trying to figure out whether or not to grab the Kazekage and pull his face down to meet her in a soul-searing kiss was important.

She cleared her throat.

“It’s late,” he said suddenly. “I should go.”

There was a flush on his face she’d overlooked in her internal musing. She was proud of herself for that. But her stomach clenched at the thought of letting him leave right now. She nodded though. It was very late. They were both going to be sleeping in a little longer in the morning.

All that does is make me wonder what he looks like first thing in the morning. Fuck.

What were the protocols here? Kiss him on the cheek? On the mouth? Make-out heavily then act like it was no big deal? Pepper him with kisses along his jawline, down to his neck and… fuck.

Focus.

Gods. Her libido again. She wanted to give into it so bad. But Gaara wasn’t moving, and she had to make a decision. She decided to just go with a peck on the cheek. It could be excused away much easier. Sakura stood higher to peck his cheek softly but couldn’t bring herself to pull away once her lips touched him. The warmth of his skin, the bright tinging of his ears; he was as excited as she was. That’s what she told herself. Why else would her lips against him make him blush?

Maybe I could…

She took a chance and turned her face towards his. They were closer than they’d ever been, now breathing in each other’s air. Sakura remained on her tiptoes. Gaara lowered his head slightly, but not far enough.

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

When he licked his lips, she knew. Sakura tilted her chin up, angled her head to keep from knocking their noses together and pressed her lips to his softly. Their eyes closed at the same time. She parted her lips to envelop his then tugged on his bottom lip gently before pulling away completely. At the last moment, he’d opened his mouth slightly in a gasp.

No tongues were used in the making of this fucking perfect first kiss.

It was a chaste way to the end the night and despite her body wanting, no demanding more, she maintained their newfound distance, pressing a hand against his chest as they both recovered from it. Gaara had responded to her kiss, albeit in a small way. That was enough. She would continue this with him later, now that she knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him. It was late and she was suddenly very, very tired.

After a few moments, he hastily repeated his goodbyes in that cool but cute bumbling way she’d learned to love and left.

She smiled widely. For the first time for a long time, Sakura could say she was profoundly happy.

.:.

[littleragondin]

SHIPPER TAG GAME

I was tagged by @lurkingshan, thank you very much (´꒳`)♡ My memory is not the best so some of these are going to be a little challenging lol but let’s try!

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

I don’t know how to “not care” about things I once loved I’m afraid lol. But ships that consumed my life that I now don’t think about very often and am more “what a good surprise to see you here, I still like you" than "oh you are back to consume my life for the next two to fifteen months" are most of the things I watched when I was younger: Logan/Max from Dark Angel, Sam/Jack and Daniel/Jack from Stargate:SG1, Jim/Blair from The Sentinel, Piper/Leo from Charmed, Tim/Tony and Gibbs/Tony from NCIS, etc...

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Hmmm… I think the first time I felt emotionally invested in two characters ending up together – in a “watching religiously and asking my mom to tape the wedding episode because we would be traveling on the day it was to be diffused” kind of way – is Fran Fine and Maxwell Sheffield from The Nanny.

We knew they were end game, but STILL!

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

Oh, good question… I came into fandom via manga and while they were not the ones I shipped the hardest (I was a hardcore Gaara/Lee fan ♡♡♡), I think the first fics I read were NaruSasu and/or Kakashi/Iruka – on personal fan websites.

The first shipping fic I wrote hmmm… I think it actually was some Kakashi/Iruka? I tumbled into fandom really fast once I found it so it’s a bit of a blur lol but yeah, pretty sure it was something Naruto related.

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

… Not really, but probably either something from One Piece (Zorro/Luffy or Zorro/Sanji) or Neon Genesis Evangelion – those two were the very first manga I read (circa 2002), and I vaguely remember checking them on Google Image for my favorite hobby: “collecting images from the internet that I would then organize carefully in the computer’s little folders” so I must have found some cute stuffs that I didn’t even realize were shipping…

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

No. While I generally have strong opinions about stuff, I am pretty non confrontational and I’m here for a good time, not to fight with people, so I avoid it. I’ve seen stuffs that I’m glad I didn’t poke with a ten feet pole. On top of that, I am a huge believer and practitioner of “shipping one character with more than one person (in a polycule or not)” so ship wars have never made much sense to me. Even in qL, even when I really adore the endgame couple(s), I often like thinking of the options, the what-if, etc. so fighting about that does not sound appealing lol

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

Talking about my very first fandoms, I never wanted Sakura with either Naruto nor Sasuke lol I loved her, but hated the idea of either options. Still not sold on it tbh. I also really hated the idea of Hermione with either of the other two lsdfj same reason, I loved her so much, and I loved that they were friends!

I have ships I am uninterested in but I always feel like notp is a little stronger than that, so I don’t think I have any currently.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

Oof, okay, life does come back full circle lol I binged the One Piece Live Action at the start of the month, so the last fics I’ve read since were all Zorro/Luffy.

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

DO I EVER?? I have OTP that have been in my heart since I’m 10. And, I mean, by virtue of watching so much QL I have an OTP in every couple I watch get together for 8 to 12 episodes, I’m a big, mushy romantic. Also I will daydream about ships from about anything I watch so…But! My current OTP, the one that owns my heart, that gets me to literally squeal in delight, makes me gasp and cry and twirl my hair while kicking my feet is Nomoto and Kasuga from She loves to cook and she loves to eat!

I love them sooooo much it’d be ridiculous if I had any sort of dignity about that kind of things (I don’t) (*´▽`*)

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

Ok you know what? I rewatched some episodes with my mom over my christmas break so I will say yes, Jack O’Neil and Samantha Carter in Stargate:SG1. Yeah, yeah I don’t care that he is her commanding officer and blablabla.

After all this teasing, damn, we could have gotten a little something something when the team finally breaks alright?

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

I can’t really think of anything right now to be honest… I feel like anything I’d feel strongly enough to remember I would still dislike now, though, to be frank.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be canceled over?

I guess? I mean, I came to fandom and to QL via yaoi – wich I started reading around 2005, so you can imagine the amount of “problematic” content I enjoyed. Age gaps (I was a HUGE fan of Naono Bohra who like those a lot), power imbalance, dub-con (one of the first yaoi translated in France was Gravitation), and so on and so forth.

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

I can’t answer that one, mainly because I used to have so many of them (I still do, don’t look at me). I got into superheros comics when I was something like 18 and I did RP with a friend where looking back, it seems like our main game was to pair everyone no matter how silly it might have been. I guess in those, I still have a fondness for everything we did that crossed the DC/Marvel divide. We also played a lot with those random ship generators? They gave you two characters and you tried to find a way to make it work. I still like those!

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

Across all of time?? I… have no idea… like really none. Recently, it’s probably any variations of 3zuns from The Untamed, but for the early years I could not say.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

The love I have for them (*¯︶¯*)

Joke aside, I’m not sure? I’m a simple creature, I’m easily swayed, if there is something compelling in the dynamic, I will be interested. I like them sweet but I also have pretty toxic ships, so I think the main thing for me is that there is something interesting going on that makes me want to root for them and/or think about them and how they work together.

15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

I need to believe there is a way for them to genuinely love each other. But sometimes, ~the vibes~ just feel rancid to me and I can’t get into it, I can’t explain more than that ^^”

I'll tag, if you feel so inclined: @benkaaoi @troubled-mind @bengiyo @gillianthecat @iguessitsjustme and @heretherebedork

[depressedhatakekakashi]

I'm really late and I apologize if you are already tired of talking about this, you don't need to answer but I would like to know your opinion on this questions I have, the first time Kakashi told Sasuke to give up on revenge, is he telling him to forget everything? to stop looking for Itachi?, does he want him to learn to forget and move forward?. I ask because one of the anons brought up the topic today and I want to clear this doubt once and for all, since with each debate I get more dizzy. I just want to understand what Kakashi means by that, because I took it as a calm scene but I'm surprised that so many people hate the characters involved (depending on the side you take) because of that scene

Kakashi was not telling Sasuke to forget about everything, or even to forget about Itachi.

If Kakashi legit believed Revenge was 100% bad all the time he would not have

Gone with Shikamaru, Ino and Choji to avenge Asuma’s death.

Waited almost a year to sit Sasuke down and tell him to ‘forget about revenge’

Kakashi see’s revenge eating at Sasuke and destroying everything he has gained. All the bonds he has bleeding away or being cut right off by sasuke because revenge is so important it overshadow’s everything

When Sasuke turned his anger to Naruto and fought him using a jutsu that Kakashi taught him, which is a jutsu that 9/10 times is used to KILL, Revenge no longer just became something Sasuke wanted

It was his only goal and he was willing to destroy everything to achieve it.

Sasuke at the formation of Team Seven wanted revenge but was still aboe to build healthy bonds, seek bonds, and work with other’s. He was not trying to distance himself and sever every bond.

Before he saw his brother again Sasuke

Was the first of team seven to reach out a hand and try to work as a team.

Refused to run away when Kakashi was captured in a water prison and worked out a plan (wordlessly might i add) with Naruto to get his Sensei free

Fought to protect his friends against Orochimaru and Gaara

Jumped in front of an attack meant for Naruto and risked dying without achieving revenge to keep his friend safe

After he met Itachi again and was defeated in .5 seconds revenge became his only focus and he was willing to cut through the friends he had made to achieve it.

The biggest difference is Sasuke before he was Itachi again was looked at Naruto and said he wanted to fight him (during the chunin exams) as a friendly challenge. After he saw Itachi he woke up, looked at Baruto, and said he wanted to fight with anger and a bit of resentment. He especially showed resentment at Naruto’s growth with the rasangan when he saw what it did to the water tower.

Sasuke went from supportive teammate to being so obsessed with strength and his revenge that he was willing to hit Naruto with an attack that could 100% kill and he knows it can.

Kakashi put his foot down when it became apparent that Sasuke’s revenge was eating away at him and destroying the kid who was making friends and bonding.

Sasuke was starting to find some small amount of healing and suddenly that was stripped away and he wanted to achieve revenge at any cost (including going to Orochimaru fully knowing they just wanted to take over his body)

Kakashi isn’t saying ‘forget everything’ he’s trying to pull Sasuke back so he doesn’t destroy himself in desperation to achieve his revenge.

He wants to save Sasuke from the path he see’s him going down (he is unfortunately not in a position to do that mostly due to outside forces (Orochimaru and Itachi mostly) but also to his own restrictions as a character) and realizes to do that Sasuke needs to let go if the revenge he seeks.

That’s not saying ‘forget the ones you lost’

Or even ‘forget you pain’

But to set revenge aside for his own good. To put it aside so it is no longer his only focus and remember that there is more than what we have lost in our lifetimes. Living in the past only hurts (Kakashi knows this from his own inability to move past what he has lost and his own perceived mistakes) and destroys you slowly.

[narutofanfics]

Temari fell back on her bed into her duvet fort, hugging herself tight as tears streamed down her already wet cheeks. Her vision was watery and blurred and her room was as dark as night. Instead of interrogating on why their sister was so depressed, her two brothers, Gaara and Kankuro had packed their bags and decided to stay in a hotel for the foreseeable future if they wanted their heads to be intact.

Temari though she was strong. She always though 'if he breaks up with me I wouldnt give a shit'. That's what she thought, but what was she doing? Crying herself to sleep everyday because a white haired he-demon decided he didn't like her anymore and decided to break up with her. When he proposed his idea to her she thought she felt overwhelmed, happy she was finally out of his controlling clutches, but then it really dawned on her how much she relied on him.

Who was going to pay for her school fees and house bills? Who was going to give her money to buy her groceries every week because she was too much of a miser to spend her own money. She groaned into the body pillow she had her leg wrapped around and more tears streamed down. And then she heard her phone vibrate over the pile of duvets and pillows, which required a bit of digging before she got hold of the device. "Hello?" The voice crack made her cringe so much she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Babes, you will not believe what I just saw!"

"What did you see?" Her voice was a little stable though the brunette on the other side seem to pay not attention to her voice.

"I really hate to be a barer of bad news but I just saw your boyfriend's post on insta of him kissing a girl that's not you!" She felt her heart shatter all over again. It hadn't even been up to a week and he already found someone else. She let out a slow, low breath to stop more tears from flowing out. Clearing her throat, she spoke up.

"I know, we kinda broke up-"

"What?!" She could hear her friend take in a really sharp breath over the phone, trying to calm herself down. "I'm getting a flight back to Konoha. That bitch is gonna die."

"TenTen calm down. I'm fine- managing, but fine. Don't let my break up get in the way of your honeymoon. When I'm done wallowing up in sadness, us and the gang can go kill him together." She could hear TenTen click her tongue on the other side and could sense a minor tantrum swelling up.

"Yes but-" she took a deep breath for the umpteenth time, "Are you okay? Have you eaten? What have you eaten that is not ice cream and yogurt? You better not be watching depressing RomComs, put some make up on! Have you gone for a run-"

"TenTen!" There was a pause on the other side before both parties let out a loud sigh.

"At least call someone like Shikamaru or something, the rest would probably be busy with babies and shit, you know what? I'm pretty sure you have a headache so go have some paracetamol and I'll call Shikamaru to come over to yours ok?"

"Wait-" Before she could oppose the idea, the line dropped. She click her tongue in annoyance as she sloppily dropped her phone and fell back into her depressing position. At times like these she wished to slap TenTen across the face, but this time the latter was overseas in the Land of Snow with her husband for their honeymoon. At least she was having a fun time, while she was back in Konoha, sulking and wallowing up in sadness.

Just then, her door bell rang but she didn't have the energy and dedication to peel herself out of bed and open the door for who ever was standing outside. After a few more rings and knocking on the door, the person finally got the memo and unlocked the door themselves. Now she was getting ambushed by someone who had her house key. Well isn't that fantastic?

"Temari?" A deep voice called into the deserted house and her tense muscles see to relax a bit, knowing she wasn't being ambushed by a stranger but her best friend. His footsteps become louder as he opened every door before opening the guest room door she was digging her grave in. As soon as he saw her state, he let out a disappointed sigh, "Seriously? TenTen told me to rush over to yours with a bunch of chocolate bars and tissues and McDonalds and a whole bunch of cup ramen. All Naruto's by the way."

Temari forced herself to not roll her eyes as she sat up, flinching slightly due to her throbbing headache. She felt like millions of hammers were being dropped violently on her head. She blamed her ex. "Well sorry for feeling sad when something bad happens to me. Besides, I thought I was being ambushed by an assassin who wanted me gone!" Now it was his turn to roll his eyes.

"What part of you breaking up with that jerk is sad?" He scrunched up his nose, walking up to the messed up bed and climbing under the duvet tower she had made for herself. He placed the food down between them and stared into her puffy eyes, "For all I know, breaking up with him should be the happiest thing to ever happened in your life." Temari scoffed grabbing a chocolate and opening it. She bit into it and leaned onto his shoulders.

"But he was such a jerk though, so controlling and shit, I couldn't even go to sleepovers with the girls with him ringing me every two seconds cuz he thought I was cheating!" Shikamaru nodded his head and bit into his own chocolate bar, "And he was such a bitch as well, like it was engraved into it, like he was designed and programmed to be a professional in bitchiness! He put his legs in for little kids to trip over and then laugh, like do you know how low and immature that is?"

Shikamaru shook his head, slowly blinking his eyes, "That's just another level of mean."

"Exactly! And that asshole made me wear revealing shit, I don't even know how I fell in love with him in the first place, like what did I see in him?"

"I should be asking you that question, what did you see in him?" She shrugged her shoulders violently, still leaning on his. She offered his her bar of chocolate and he took a bite from it.

"To be honest, I don't know either. And he was so touchy as well, like I'd be cooking and he'd come and grab my ass like  excuse me, ever heard of consent? I didn't give you permission to grab my ass thank you!" Shikamaru frowned at her compliment. He chewed on his chocolate bar faster as his brows knitted closer together. "And he's always be asking me to seal the deed with him and when I say no he starts bitching about it saying I don't love him. That, he sure is right about!" She grabbed an umpteenth bar of chocolate and peeled it open.

She let out a deep breath, closing her eyes and letting her head drop onto his laps. He felt her tears on his trousers and watched her hug herself into a small vulnerable ball as she squeezed her eyes shut. He placed his hand on her head, rubbing and massaging her scalp. "I'm just glad in have a good friend like you." He felt his heart crumble into pieces an fall into a deep never ending hole. Friend.

"Yeah." He spoke in a low voice, slowly nodding his head. "Hey, do you want to go out? Its's a bit dark and suffocating in here." Temari looked up at him, a cocky grin on her face as if she had not been on the edge of crying herself to sleep.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" She narrowed her eyes in a taunting manner, turning her body round to face him. Shikamaru only shrugged his shoulders, a knowing smile on his face. "Wait, actually?" Shocked, she sat up staring at him expectantly. The male only stood up and pulled the curtains open and allowed natural light to pool into the dark room. Temari hissed, hiding her head under the blankets to avoid the blinding sunray.

"Let's go for a walk." She blinked slowly at him, getting up slowly from her position,

"Um, ok..."

More of Shikatema on my Wattpad @xx_anyaforger. Hope you like it.

[tamelee]

What do you dislike most about naruto (manga) besides the ending?

Hi Non.e ♡

I don't know if it is a dislike as much, it did bother me though. And that is how dismissive Naruto has been about his own trauma. Don't get me wrong, it is realistic in a way- but for storytelling considering how much it has impacted further conversation, I wish this was explored more.

In the real world Naruto's behavior towards himself as he gets a mirror thrown in front of him (his 'Dark' self) is explainable (yk what I mean), yet in this story, in the world of Shinobi, it doesn't make much sense. Naruto has been extremely hurt. He says that Sasuke and his roles could've easily been reversed. Which I have no doubt about. At times we see Naruto suddenly bursting with anger. When he thought Gaara had died he showed anger too and cried, for him, but also for himself.

Sounds to me like he wasn't just talking about Gaara. And I don't think I'm the only one if you look at those faces.

Although he was happy to finally meet Minato.. his dad, he punched him in the gut. Opinions aside, this is how Naruto felt at the moment.

Naruto had been in distress for a while, yet thinking about an afterlife with Sasuke but not carrying the burden of being Uchiha or Jinchuuriki makes Naruto look somewhat relieved.

Anyway skip to the 'Waterfall of Truth' and Dark Naruto.

Gerotora the scroll toad, confirms to Naruto that Dark or Evil Naruto is connected to Kurama. The hatred within Naruto's heart or as Motoi describes it 'a reflection of Naruto's true self'. He tries to fight it to no avail.

Motoi voices that Naruto would not be able to use the Kyuubi’s powers if he can’t beat his hatred. He also tells Naruto that despite him and Bee both being Jinchuriki and having similar pasts, Bee passed the Waterfall training in a blink of an eye.

But, both characters are simply not the same, despite being Jinchuriki with similar pasts. They have different things that impacts and challenges them. As Naruto stalks off he thinks about his own past.

About the similarities between Bee and Gaara, how the villagers went from shunning the boys to treating them as heroes. And that is exactly what happened to Naruto as well- which is what ‘Dark Naruto’ hates. Uh, he who lives deep within his own heart hates. But instead of addressing that issue, Naruto starts to worry whether the villagers really trust him yet or not.. what...???

No. Trust me, I get the point. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

So with that in mind, Naruto goes back to confront his Dark self, but then I wonder, who really is the 'Dark' one anyway? I talked about this before but manipulation can be as simple as telling another you are “fine” when, in a real sense, you are depressed.

What Naruto then does is a form of manipulation.. to himself because it controls the perception of the other, “Dark-Naruto” and how they react to you. Other times, manipulation also has more insidious consequences, and most times, it is associated with emotional abuse, especially in intimate relationships. And you can’t really be more intimate if it literally is you. When the practice is prolonged, a manipulated person usually ends up with physical, emotional as well as mental health issues if they do not realize the situation sooner and save themselves from it.

“Dark-Naruto” is the part of Naruto that is honest, that sincerely tells Naruto how he feels and questions him when he doesn’t understand something “No.. I don’t know what you mean!” (Please, elaborate further, I want to understand.)

Whereas Naruto just responds with: “Don’t play dumb with me.”

And how was Dark Naruto supposed to know if you ‘just thought about it a minute ago’. Naruto completely disregards whatever his ‘hatred’ shouts at him to make him truly understand. Now that he has the chance. But instead of working through it, understanding his emotional baggage as he does with everyone else, friends and foes, (Talk No Jutsu) he uses tactics to temporarily control his environment. How he feels. Aka his heart.

Naruto literally manipulates himself.

Naruto: “I’ve only become strong, because of your help, you MIGHT even be the reason I’m here now.”

“Dark” Naruto: “Then why? What am I supposed to do now?” (Genuine confusion.)

Naruto: “What do you think?” (“You’re overreacting.”)

Naruto: “You be like me, because you are me.” (The hell does that even mean?) - (“My hatred seems to be not worthy of any emotional response, it’s dramatic and silly. I’ll make it question it’s own maturity and mental health and damage it into shock for the moment so it disappears for now.”

He didn't overcome his trauma/anger, he didn't "love" it or erase it by hugging it for a moment- nothing. Yet it worked enough for him to "believe it!"

And that was all that he needed in order for it to go into hiding.

So.. my Headcanon is that Dark Naruto actually still exist. A few words and an autograph won't sign him away- I, for one do not "believe it!" (In theory, I do know that it is true, cuz: Manga.)

[vote-gaara]

What do you think his manga would've been about if he won?

Honestly, it would have probably been about Gaara reflecting on how Naruto had saved him, which would have been a bit of a let down.

Now I'm not saying that I would turn down the content or underappreciate it if this were the case. I mean, we're all so starved of Gaara content that anything can sometimes be better than nothing; however, I just feel that Gaara reflecting on how Naruto saved him tends to be the main focus, or at least highly referenced, in many Gaara-centered content, post-Konoha Crush Arc.

It's like the low-hanging fruit of Gaara's character development at this point. And dare I say I commend the novel Gaara Hiden for more or less allowing it to be a very distant background theme of the - what I would call - a pretty lukewarm story in terms of quality. That novel pretty much came out as "meh" for me, but I appreciated that it gave Gaara the opportunity to shine by himself without pushing the credit onto Naruto.

I'm sorry, this is already going to be a tangent but here we go:

As you can probably tell, I love Gaara quite a lot. He is by far my favourite character not just in Naruto, but across all the series I have had the pleasure of being a fan of. Gaara is literally #1 in my books across the board, and so I say this with love in my heart when I say that Gaara constantly crediting Naruto for his change irritates the crap out of me.

Why?

Because we were never actually shown much of the grind behind Gaara's character development, we just got the outcome of that change. On the surface, this isn't bad because Gaara is a supporting character in the series about Sasuke Naruto, and he's done a lot of really amazing things that make his character mature like a fine wine, but there's a lot of unmined potential in him that goes completely untouched because "Naruto saved him."

Naruto saving Gaara was the catalyst to it all. What I wanted to see was the grind, the awkwardness. Give me moments where Gaara has to fight through his shyness, let me see how hard it is for him to reconnect with his siblings and his villages. Tell me how hard it was for him to get the Elders of the village to trust him then give me Gaara breaking their spines because they're trash Hell, please even just give me more evil Gaara content!

Give me a throw back to Karura being pregnant and being so excited about her new baby. Give me the sand siblings as children thinking about each other but being unsure how to act like family.

Tell me who Gaara is when he's not a ninja and he's not Kazekage. I want to see him farm his cacti, cooking dinner and living his life the way someone who's so used to isolation goes about living their life.

So. Many. Possibilities.

Have him go out for beers with Kankuro and Kankuro's friends to "get drunk" where Gaara pretends to be "really feeling it" when he actually doesn't because he's been nursing 1 (one) beer the whole night as he tries to fit in to social situations but can't because he doesn't know of to react.

Have Gaara wondering what it's like to have romantic feelings towards someone, and have him think about it without ultimately coming to the conclusion about if he wants that or not because he isn't even sure what it means.

Give me the reaction manga to him reading Icha Icha. I swear, I would pay good money for it, or even my lif-

I am telling you...So many possibilities. SO MANY!

All of the would've been so good, if only we could've been shown the corners of Gaara's life that don't make him a ninja or Kazekage, but just make him a regular ol' person trying his best to be the best he can.