#And you know also don't blame victims for their abuse

[qiu-yan]

#The thing about this conversation is that IF jgy had not been literally killing nmj everything he said here would be reasonable#and lxc!! is being INCREDIBLY dismissive!!!

#this is why it drives me up the wall when people pretend lxc literally always takes jgy's side in everything READ THIS PASSAGE#what he wants is *peace* and because USUALLY peace is also what jgy wants they end up aligned more often than nmj#however when it's jgy who is the one going 'maybe this doesn't work because da-ge. um. kicked me down the stairs'#lan xichen goes 'well just don't make him angry' WHICH IS WILD!!

#again as readers we know jgy is literally killing nmj here BUT XICHEN DOESN'T#if you were in a relationship (whatever it is they have) and they physically injured you then THREATENED TO KILL YOU#and then your other [whatever] is like 'don't provoke him' YOU SHOULD RUN. VERY FAST. IN THE OTHER DIRECTION.

#this is also why when some proclaimed xiyaolovers call nieyao abusive i think 'so lxc is an abuse apologist?'#because if you read nieyao as abusive then what lxc is doing here is abuse apolagia! and victim blaming!#yet SOMEHOW we always ignore that part!!

#anyway op remember when we were talking about how xiyao both live in a fantasy about e/o#and how they both stop believing in it at some point but for jgy that is MUCH earlier than lxc who believes it until post-timeskip?#and in the end we both agreed the change for jgy is much more gradual but initially i said the 'moment' for jgy was around nmj's death#and the reason for that was this conversation.

i mean jgy has already decided to kill nmj which implies some level of loss of trust in er-ge#(because lxc was supposed to PROTECT him and help nieyao solve their problems and he clearly thinks that is no longer feasible)#but in this moment xiyao are in COMPLETE disconnect about the level of danger jgy is in.#i think jgy is sort of mentally prepping lxc for nmj's death here like oh da-ge's rage is sooo bad (won't be strange if he qi deviates soon)#but beyond that he is secretly *asking for understanding* you get it right? that i'm in danger? why i had to do this?#(and also. so secretly that he doesnt even admit to himself: is there another way? could I stop now? could you protect me after all?)

#and lan xichen cannot give him an affirmative answer. he *doesn't* understand. he'll *never* be able to understand.#so in this moment i believe the fantasy does break for jgy.#and then nmj dies and he delusionally patches the fantasy back up and goes on to live in denial for another decade.

tags via @lgbtlunaverse

Kind of obsessed with takes abt Jin Guangyao's manipulativeness (which I'm not even refuting! He is manipulative!) that also refuse to take into consideration the context in which his manipulation exists, which proceeds to net you awesome takes about who in 3zun was The Abuser and people showing up to the comments sections of good postcanon Xiyao reconciliation fic to passive aggressively talk about how it's sad that Lan Xichen is getting manipulated back into a toxic relationship

[queerautism]

Unironically I have a solution to this - Encourage young women to also read Lolita by Nabokov in addition to these books.

[dxxtruction]

Louis' "You're boring!" Could mean so many things, but I think what's most apparent about that line is that Armand takes no initiative just for himself. He's not really anybody, because he never goes out and finds himself or gets attached to anyone but Louis. Without Louis as his guide he's literally just sitting on a couch picking lint! That's the thing.

He orbits constantly around what would make Louis happy, and never really fully going what would make me happy? Ultimately that drive to please Louis is what drives him to torturing Daniel, not so much that he'd care to just do it. Ultimately, not giving proper care to Louis is just a way to make sure Louis knows he has to orbit around him as well, with shoving Lestat onto him just that other nail on the coffin. So, even if he fails to figure out how to make Louis happy with him, he still knows what Armand is good for, and better than.

That dependency is what drives Armand's abuse. It really just comes down to that. Armand doesn't even realize how suffocated he is by his own dependency. This is just how life is to him. (It shouldn't be lost either that dependency is a theme considering this episode also deals with addiction).

Daniel's fascinating because he's just so driven to be somebody. He's largely independent, he seeks things because he wants them. It's his drug to poke and prod at all the things that he shouldn't. Daniel's exciting because he lets Louis in to something different, lets him in to all this potential in another person that he can also do the same with for himself. It's a real connection. A two way street. It's easy to tell how Armand can be smothering then because he's never introducing him to anything really new, and most the ways both of them connect are all painful and traumatic. It's never just fun because there's always that layer of that pain. Fun died with Claudia.

50 years on they've gotten to a lot better place, both of them, but it's still that same shit. No seriously, "How is this any different from last time, Louis?"

Well... Because Armand's going to be, at the very least, making one [1] decision only for himself - and that's to hold power over Daniel's life. Fucking sick foreshadowing.

They aren't driving each other to the brink anymore but "The vampire is bored" STILL. Maybe it's even worse, despite being in better places, because Louis' sort of just been defeated by it. (I mean, can he even really leave this either?). He's accepting the dependancy cause he kind of has to. He'd literally ended up letting all the enjoyment be up where he can't reach [The book shelves]. Armand so desperately wants Louis happiness but what really ends up happening is that Louis ends up having to give Armand all his own. He's got no one or anything else to get it from. But like an iPad and an over the top eating ritual. Two extremes of what's just more lint picking.

This whole relationship is one I find just tragic inside and out. You have to just pity it, really. There's ways in which you can find yourself feeling bad for both of them. But you can only really be mad at Armand for any of it. Armand, who isn't even 'free' in any sense, having so little concept of his own independence, but is at the same time so controlling over other's. It's a tragic cycle. It's an infuriating one.

Louis at least has the mind to know when enough is enough. If just needing that extra push to get there. Armand's too scared of it being over to even try.

[shrimp1y]

"wrio isn't a cop hes a king"

Can someone with brains please please PLEASE talk about the disgusting portrayal of cops, crime, court proceedings, justice system and prison incarceration in genshin impact's fontaine update because I cannot SIT HERE and see people completely destroy their brain cells just so they could play a mediocre game and make some fictional men fuck in their mind

I'm deadass surprised there isn't more people talking about it??? I'm honestly so ??? It's literally presenting prison labour as a good thing. Wriothesley, the prison administrator, got rich off of making his inmates build police robots for the state AND HE'S PRAISED FOR IT. AND THEY'RE PAID IN COUPONS THAT CAN ONLY BE USED IN JAIL. HE WAS REWARDED FOR IT WITH HIS DUKE STATUS.

The fact that the fucking MC's mascot was like "oh the prisoners get one free meal a day? you're making life too good down here what if no one wants to leave :(" what in the bullshit. What in the. There's also a fighting ring in the prison, by the way, and you can bet on it with your coupons you just can't bet on both fighters.

The. This is a scene people think is hot. "But that's a bad guy!" THAT'S HOW THE NARRATIVE IS WRITTEN. THEY ARE ALWAYS THE BAD GUY IN FICTION. THAT'S HOW COPAGANDA WORKS, they make you think people in power can just beat the shit outta anyone and of course the person deserves it because they are clearly always the bad guys! And the people in power are always right! This is sarcasm btw.

Neuvillette and the magic judgement machine are literally seen as undeniable justice ordained by magic and NO ONE KNOWS HOW IT WORKS. NEUVILLETTE HIMSELF HAS NO CLUE WHAT HE'S DOING HE'S ACTIVELY FIGURING SHIT OUT AS WE SPEAK. And yet it's what sends people to The Worst Most Dangerous Super Scary Prison Ever Where There's No Laws [but 1 meal a day's great /s].

"But he feels bad!" Genshin has repeatedly chosen to highlight the pains and troubles of the oppressors [Eula] [Ei/Shogun] and there's literally never any repercussions for them aside from when they portray The Haterz clearly as villains or they turn it around and say "Well it was a misunderstanding all along! No one's to blame here!"

I'm not smart enough to go into details I'm just saying. This. needs to be talked about. I'm not telling you to stop the game bc Hyperfixations not really smth that can be controlled or whatever I get It I Got Back into the game when the first trailer dropped I drew neuvillette fanart and then everything just went downhill since then and I'm like why the fuck did I expect anything better than racist, pro cop dogshit from Mihoyo It needs to be talked about ESPECIALLY by people who still cares about it to critically. assess what the fuck you are absorbing because this shit isn't okay. This is literally paw patrol for weebs they just didn't call anyone a "cop"

PLEASE. TALK ABOUT IT.

[baby-tini]

Bully Dabi🥵 he messes with you your whole life ever since you moved in the neighborhood. He makes sure you don't have any meaningful connections with friends from school so no one bothers you. It wasn't till University that it got kicked up a notch. He wasn't shoving into you or saying mean things anymore it was more sexual now. He grabs you around the corner of a classroom and makes you grind on him. While doing that he says the nastiest things in your ear. 'You always wanted this' 'wanted to ruin you for so long' 'wait till you see my cock you'll drool over it like the little cock slut you are' 'my cock slut' 'can't wait to see this tummy buldge from my cock'

TW- NONCON, victim blaming, sexual assault, bullying, verbal and physical abuse You had moved into the neighborhood when you were about eight years old, your dad had gotten a new job that payed way better then his old one. Being an only child, you never really had people to play with so, when your dad told you that there was a family across the street with kids your age, you were ecstatic. The kids were really nice to you, well, except the oldest, Touya or as all his friends called him, Dabi. He was always so mean to you. Tripping you, pulling your hair, spilling juice on your pretty clothes, you never liked Touya, he never gave you a reason too. So, you did your best to avoid him, you only came over to play with Fuyumi anyway, so, you would just be in her room playing dolls and having fun, until you had to go home. Now the bullying wasn't too bad as kids, it was more like an inconvenience for you. But in high school? That's when it started to get worse, the tripping turned into Dabi- as he now forced you to call him- pushing you into lockers and laughing when he sees the bruises on your shoulders and thighs. The hair pulling turned into him yanking you up by your hair as he called you mean names. You wanted to tell someone, you truly did but all the girls loved Dabi, that was apparent when he had a new one hanging off him everyday. Plus you didn't want your parents to move you to a different school, you had a lot of friends here. You especially didn't want to tell Fuyumi, knowing she'd tell everyone, it would be in good faith coming from her but, she really couldn't keep a secret to save her life.

Dabi being older then you by a couple years means he graduated and went to college first, giving you two years of peace, you didn't have to look over your shoulder or wear jackets all the time in order to cover the bruises he inflicted. You could have fun and joke around with friends without him staring you down from across the hall. It was the best two years of school you've had in your life, plus, Dabi moved into a dorm on campus with his friends Keigo and Tomura. So, you rarely saw Dabi around the neighborhood, except when he came home occasionally on weekends. But even then, you'd rather five- rarely seven- days of peace then none at all. It also meant you could talk to guys without Dabi threatening them or in most cases, beating them black and blue. It's the worst in college though, the years of peace in high school gone all too quickly as you start uni. Although, you don't have any classes with Dabi, so you rarely see him. After classes is a different story though, he's trailing after you, holding you hostage in empty classroom and calling you mean names as his bullying gets bolder.. more.. sexual. He's pinning you against the wall now, leaving hickeys and bruises on your neck, shoving his tongue in your mouth and probably the worst is when he pushes you on top of the desk to spread your legs and hump your cunt over your clothes. Then there was the time that Dabi had dragged you you into an empty classroom, calling you a slut because your skirt was too short for his liking as he laid you on the empty teacher desk and proceeded to pull your skirt up and take his cock out. He had you lay there as he rubbed the head of his dick over your clit, through your panties, making you beg for him to play with your pussy. "Feels good, doesn't it slut?" Forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist, he grinds into your cunt. Slapping your hands away when you try to hide your face and laughing when you start to cry. Pumping his cock a couple times, he runs it over your panties, making sure his tip catches your clit. Trying to look away from him doesn't work 'cause he'll just pull your upper body off the desk and make you watch him fuck your clit, his slit leaking beads of pre-cum, wetting the sensitive nub, his piercing catching on it so nicely. He'll switch from that, to pulling your underwear to the side so that he can slap at the little bundle of nerves and rolling it with his pointer and thumb.

"I don't know why you're covering your face, you were asking for it, wearing all the slutty clothes that you do." Dabi says the meanest things when he has you like this, he's never been soft while he touches you. Always bending you over the railing in the stairwell so that he can lift your skirt to rub your pussy with two fingers then he'll pull your thong tightly against your pussy, so that your lips peak out and he can grind against you. Or when you're leaving the building he'll pull you with him behind the school so that he can give 'daily hole checks,' as he calls them. He says he does them to make sure you're not whoring yourself out, seeing how tight you are by making you suck on his fingers so he can push them inside you. "Bend over bitch, I won't ask again, gotta make sure this pussy is just how I left it." If you're too slow doing as he asks, he'll push against the wall and pulling your ass towards him. From there, he'll pull your panties down, letting them drop to your ankles as he spreads your pussy open and literally stares at your pussy for minutes, pulling lips apart and pushing tip of his thumb inside, spitting on your clit and using his palm to spread it all over your cunt, getting spit on your thighs as he does so. If he deems that your pussy isn't how he left, whether his cum is no longer in you or you feel "looser" then he'll punish you. He makes you hold up your skirt from behind with your face squished against the dirty brick wall as he slaps your ass, hitting you so hard your eyes burn from the salty tears running down your cheeks. Telling you mean things as he carries out his brutal assault on your ass. "Don't start crying now bitch, if you weren't such a slut, I wouldn't have to hit you." or, "Did you really wipe my cum out of you? You ungrateful little whore." and, "Move away from me again and see what happens, I'll hit a lot fucking harder, try me." and of course, "You really think anyone'll believe you? Those bitches you hang out with would kill to be in your position, would beg to have my cock stretching them so full it bulges from their fucking stomach.

[nemesyaaa]

now, we're free (gladiator au) // gladiator!rafe x daughter of the empreror!reader

summary ; you were much superior to him, the daughter of the emperor and the future of rome. you could have him killed just for a glance or a touch, but it felt like everytime you were with him, rafe was the one to holds the power. when fire met gasoline...

tropes/genre ; forbidden relationship. tragedy. good person, wrong time. bodyguard dynamic. slight of ennemies to lovers to etablished relationship. royalty/roman empire. bittersweet fluff.

warnings ; violence, war mention, blood, little age gap, angst, tension, death. suggestive content (not smut.). men are trash. abuse of power. corruption. minors dni.

author's note ; i think it's obvious that i watched Gladiator ii and i'm just obssessed with the whole movie.

— as a child of the Roman empire, Rome was your home but also the name of your tragedy.

the story began when rafe was assigned to your protection. it was obvious that the mission didn't delight him but it was the emperor's order and he could not contest it. he found it terribly humiliating for a soldier of his rank to be under the rule of a spoiled little princess like you. he had no desire to be your nanny or the victim of your whims. you already had a thousand servants for this.

SO this is why you weren't meant to love him. you were out of his league and much superior to him. you were literally the princess of an empire, what could it offer you that was better than what you already had? and despite his charming face, you weren't really attracted by his nonchalance and coldness, especially knowing that it was only reserved for you. with the others, he seemed more human. but with you, it was just a machine following orders.

because of that, you started provoking him on purpose, spreading chaos wherever you went only to see him running after you. if only you knew how mad you made him every time he's forced to apologize or take the blame for you, how miserable he felt when you push him on his knees just to tie one of your shoes or just for the pleasure of seeing him under your feets. he was so sick of you that he was holding himself everytime you call him to not killing you.

you were smart. damn, he hated knowing that there was a brain in your head that was giving you all these stupid ideas that were driving him crazy, that forced him to constantly follow your ass like a raging dog.

but one day, it was enough for him.

he was just tired of you treating him like a slave. you were perhaps the princess but you needed correction, to have a minimum of discipline. your education had to be redone and he was going to take care of it.

and the night you tried to escape from your room had been the perfect opportunity. you opened the door silently and so naively while rafe was waiting for you right here.

because he was your bodyguard for over years, he started to obviously know you because he was someone very observant. he didn't talk too much, answering the least possible, staying quiet behind you even when you were yapping for more than hours. he was watching you from behind, listening to you in silence. you will be surprised by how far he knows you, how he can predict every one of your moves.

“where do you think you're going? ”

“i'm going to the toilet. can i ? ” you replied sarcastically.

“now, you're lying to me. ” his voice raising through his gritted teeth.

“leave me alone. i need to go. ”

“oh no, i don't think so. you're not going anywhere with that sick annoying attitude with me. you know what i think? ”

“ do i need to pretend that i care ? ”

“ you're too much of a spoiled princess. no one dares to stand in front of you, to tell you no so guess i'm gonna be the first. " his scary blue gaze was fixed on you, literally judging you with all the hatred he had for you, making you feel even more little than you already were.

“you just said it, i'm the princess. you have no power against me. you're not allowed to speak to me like that. "

“there is no one there so i'm your only ruler. it means that i'm gonna do whatever i want. so go back to your bed. "

It was a bit insulting that he saw you only as a spoiled brat. and you then frowned, placing your arms on your chest contemptuously.

"what is that look? Or you hating me princess, or you just don't like the truth ? "

“fuc’ yourself.”

you tried to close the door but he blocked it with his arm. “ is that all you've got, princess ? so disapointed. ”

he was so much stronger than you as much as he was taller, towering over you with all his height. “ you're the only one who needs to be fucked. don't be happy about it, i'm not gonna be the one.”

“ sure. you're so afraid to be killed by my dad after taking my virginity. loser. ”

the smirk on his face was brighter. he entered your room before closing the door. as he walked, you were forced to step back until reaching your bed and falling into your sheets.

“ don't ask me for things you're gonna cry later. you're not that brave, princess. ”

“ why do you hate me so much ? ”

“ can't i ? if it was not for your dad, i will not be there. ”

his words were mean. they were like bullets. and you tried so hard to not be affected by them, to not let him see your emotions through the sparkles of your gaze.

“ but you're. i don't care how much it is against your will because you belong to me. you can hate me with all your guts but it's only a torture for you. because while i rule my world, you're forced to be there, to be by my side anytime, to focus on me, to watch me all day, to follow my orders. so if you want to be hard on me, i'm gonna be harder. ”

he laughed through his breath. he took his sword on his hands and swayed the blade just in front of your throat. “ i can kill you, princess. look at you…you're shivering when i'm all ready to cut your flesh. do you know what that means ? that you should be kinder to me because i'm tired and sick of your attitude. ”

“ you're my bodyguard. aren’t you supposed to protect me ? you really suck. ”

“ i'm gonna treat you well when you're begin to show me respect. ”

“ you're the only one who needs to show me respect. i'm your superior. ”

“ really ? but you see, when i'm looking at you princess...i see nothing superior. ”

you were so frustrated. but he was right, you were too spoiled to accept that someone doesn't follow your will. your eyes were glossy because of the upcoming tears, and your sensitive side.

“ playing the victim doesn't work with me. you were not that nice when you made my life a living hell. ”

“ i'm gonna report everything to my dad. and you'll be executed. ”

“ that's your will ? ” he said, leaning over you. you turned your face away, unable to looking at him but he grabbed you by the chin, forcing you to keep your eyes inside his. “ i said. that's your will. answer me. i know damn well how that annoying mouth of yours can speak. ”

“ don't touch me. ”

“ you were this pathetic before i've even touched you. don't put the blame on me, your honor. ”

since that day, the tension between rafe and you has been high. you hated him but at the same time, you were so attracted to him. and the fact he was your bodyguard didn't help anything with your feelings. because he was always with you, you can't forget about him for a day which was pretty annoying.

rafe was also torn about you. because at the same time, he wanted you to die but also a part of him wanted you so badly. he was clearly ruining his life the way you made him feel.

one day, you felt sick and he didn't hear from you. and he was surprised to miss you. but what wasn't more surprising is that he took care of you during all your days in bed, letting your servants rest. “ you can do nothing without me, can’t you ? ”

and your long term relationship just started after he kissed you in your healing days. but at the same moment, your father sent him to join the new conquest.

your heart felt so heavy, beating in your ribcage like a drum. the war was over and rafe was on his way back home. he was coming back today with the whole army but you were still worried about the state in which you were going to find him. you were never sure about how he would come back to you. you were one of those desperate women who waited without messages, without letters whose hope was nourished by faith and conviction.

rafe was far from a weak man. he had all the rage and necessary strength that Rome expected from him. he was one of the best soldiers in the empire, one of the most valuable fighters and he surely had a promising future in the military career.

you were always afraid for him because the world was cruel and merciless, death spared neither gods nor mortals. at night, you couldn't close your eyes. you could never sleep properly since he left. you only had the smell of his clothes to comfort you, the memory of his voice and these words in your mind, the furtive reminder of his gestures swept away so quickly by a return to reality. you were in this unbearable and sad atmosphere which was called waiting and disarray.

your man always came home bigger to you. the war turned him into a beast. he was pretty huge and his muscles were fat, glistening from sweat and dirt. and you couldn't wait to be in his arms again.

before leaving that time, he had given you a priceless necklace. and since then, you wore it around your neck every day.

it was quite ironic. you the wife of no one, you the woman born with the title of princess, you the woman destined to rule an empire, you fell in love with a man of a rank clearly below yours. you knew that these feelings towards rafe were forbidden to you, that this love was doomed to failure, that only the suffering and the darkness of this union would remain. but you couldn't fight it every time you saw him. you were unable to resist the man who constantly haunted your thoughts.

“Princess, you are beautiful.” commented one of your many servants as she finished your tangled braid which she had punctuated with flowers and pretty jasmine scent.

you smelled good. you were coming back from a divine bath filled with body oils, and you were wearing one of your mother's wonderful dresses. you were her portrait. your father loved to tell you that. and it always made you happy because you never really knew her.

you had grown up in a man's world, ruled by men. even if there were all these gods and these offerings, it was to men that the real power here on earth belonged. but they were all corrupt, all deceptive and arrogant.

your father had burst into your room, a smile lighting up his face as he discovered you so pretty, covered in the thousand and one graces offered by royalty. you were the true treasure of Rome in his eyes.

“look at you, the most beautiful of all.” he began as he approached, a hand on your shoulder.

he coughed before clearing his throat. you quickly understood that he had something important to tell you.

"you know, I'm starting to get old. I have to think about a future governor...I can't abandon Rome without a successor. ."

“Give me the throne, Dad. I deserve it. Doesn’t it belong to me as your sole heir?”

"I know, I know. but my daughter...you know very well that women do not govern."

“but aren’t you the one who decides? you can change that.”

" Enough, I have chosen my successor and it will be the general. he more than anyone deserves this title for his loyal services to the empire and his honors. you should listen to me because I am talking about your future husband. "

your eyebrows arched furiously above your eyes. you took this decision as a betrayal, a total indifference. your father's negligence was one of your worst enemies. you hated his coldness so much.

"but father…”

you didn't like this general. your heart was sealed for another. for rafe. you had given it to him the day he had proven himself to deserve it. at first, you thought he was like the others, that he hoped to obtain royalty by dating you, but he had always been disinterested in your princess side, and the noble blood that flowed in your veins.

“speak your mind, your grace. don't let me with that look of you. you know, i can't fight those pretty eyes. "

“why me? you can choose so many women, so why am I the one you want?”

you had seen his irritable smirk at the corner of his lips. he was positioned above you, and you could feel the warmth of his breath pressing lightly on your hair.

“you want to see me with someone else? Are these your orders, princess? if it is your will..."

"It's not my will...I'm just being realistic. How do you plan to get my father to accept this relationship? You'll be killed before you can even talk to him."

"you think I can't be as dangerous as him? Who kills these men on the battlefield, who returns with his hands covered in blood, who sacrifices himself for the Glory of your father ? I made him a glorious emperor so I would have the princess, the happiest of women.”

you sighed with heavy chuckles. your eyes were locked in his. he had your hands between his fingers that were covered with bruises. his touch was so gentle for someone who kills and fights almost everyday. he couldn't hurt you, even if it was the will of gods.

“ rafe. i have a question for you. ”

“ say it. because it would be your last words before i kidnap you for the rest of the night. ”

“ promise me to always return to me. do you understand, rafe cameron ? you can't die. you can't die without my consent. you're mine, you're my soldier. ”

“ are you crying ? ”

“ answer your princess. ”

your eyes were full of tears, your voice cracking. your loyal protector stood up and placed his lips on yours.

you could feel how sincere he was with you and that was what killed you the most. your heart was in panic but you preferred to ignore the signals.

could we condemn you for wanting to be happy?

when the army returned, you were at the gates of the palace with your father surrounded by the senate and the royal guards. everyone was there, the crowd was so loud that the orchestra was lost in the cheers. you didn't want to appear too emotional but you could almost cry from the feeling that overwhelmed you when you finally saw your lover's face.

he was so radiant under the burning sun of Rome, in this armor of glory which made him much prestigious. he still had wounds from the wars but you were eager to nurse and heal them later. his face was coating with dirt and bruises, bleeding cut on his cheekbone, a bit of a crooked nose and his hands were filled with dried blood. his pecs were bulging and hard against his top. his look was wild and broken, the blue of his pupils piercing you through the crowd. you felt the heat stronger in your skin when his glare scanned you from toes to head. he spat a stream of blood out of his mouth to the ground before smiling at you with red lips hovering his bloody teeths. you didn’t take your eyes off him. It was probably the only thing you saw.

while your father praised the main hero, the general and your future predestined husband, you smiled brightly to Rafe.

“ come greet the general. ” your father said, and forcing you to face the situation.

“ princess. " the old man took your hand gently, putting a kiss on it before making a step back to respect the distance between you and him.

“ general. i'm happy to see you alive. "

" and i'm happy to see you again. you're always so beautiful. "

jealousy was a very cruel feeling which currently exploited all the members, and all the energy of rafe. he couldn't stand seeing you with someone else, he couldn't stand looking at that smile on your lips when you were talking to someone else. he loved that dress, but he hated the effect it had on this man. you were his. and if he agreed to be your secret, he nevertheless refused to share you. he was so conflicted that he tightened his grip on his sword. fortunately his sword was strongly attached in his sheath because otherwise it would slash this general's throat.

the blood pressure increased by anger had caused the veins on his hands and forehead to throb. he took two steps closer, before stepping back when he saw your warned look.

no, you didn't want him to do that. he had fallen back into his place, pressured by your anxious face. his lips were pursed, his teeth lightly biting his mouth. the blue of his eyes were scary, as his jaw muscle was tightened.

you then decided to slip away to the banquet. you didn't like these parties and big ceremonies. it was always so pathetic. you had joined rafe in your private garden out of sight.

the first thing he did when he saw you running towards him in your long dress flying in the wind was to pick you up from the ground to kiss you. “ there she is…” it was so good to see you again. rafe loved your taste, the way your lips swollen under the weight of his, the little wet moans of your mouth brushed by the slap of his tongue against yours.

if it was such a sin, why did you feel like you were in heaven?

his lips were rough and rebellious, slightly damaged but terribly addictive.

you hated that feeling of doing something wrong, when you were right by his side.

when he put you back on the ground, you were nervous. your fingers touched each other in frustration. It was hard having to tell the one you loved that there was a man who was going to marry you. it was as hard as looking into his eyes at that moment.

and then the sores on his face, he had already suffered.

“I have to tell you something…” you started.

he had only listened, with a vague response, waiting for you to speak your mind.

"I'm going to marry the general. My father decided it."

“what?” he spat. “what did you say? ”

he wasn't mad at you, but he wasn't feeling well. it was inconceivable to him. just the thought was fatal to the soldier.

"you heard...I don't like this man at all but I can't go against my father."

“but I do.”

“rafe. be serious.”

"i am. . i fucking am. so don't rafe me."

“don’t raise your voice at me. ”

“don’t ask me to stay calm!” he screamed back. “because this is not going to happen. "

“I’m your princess!”

"you're sure? because you just told me the contrary."

you tried to raise your hands to shut him off with a slap but he grabbed your palm before you could even touch him.

“where are your manners, princess?” he mocked. “ slapping your guard ? isn't it an abuse of power ? i thought i disciplined you. ”

“you know that’s not what I want!” you defended yourself by retorting violently.

he rolled his eyes, taking a step back as if you had broken something in him and he no longer had the patience to listen to you. to tell the truth, he was already tired and you came with a new problem.

“How do I know when I’m the only one fighting?”

" Excuse me ? "

"it's so easy for you. you're a spoiled little princess, you never need to do anything. you order, and you get everything on a silver platter. you never need to fight .even when you want someone.”

"you accuse me of a life that I never chose? You are unfair to me when I always choose you. I never fought, right ?what do you do with all these suitors that I pushed away for you, of these days that I spent waiting for you, of all these jewels that you gave me and that I wore, what do you do with my feelings ?what do you do with all that? All the things i've do for you? So this is what I am to you? This spoiled girl who uses you? Why would I do this? Give me one good reason to do this to you.”

he had his back turned to you, and your voice was weakened by emotions. you weren't well, your stomach was upset. and rafe spiraled. he didn't even look at you.

“How should I prove my loyalty to you?”

“ I know Rome is your home but we should run away. "

"you know I will be found. and you will be executed. you can't run away with someone like me."

"It's your choice. You can stay here and live your whole life with a man you don't love, or leave with me and be happy.”

“ You know, I can't leave ! I can't Rafe, I promise i can't. ”

“ Bullshit. ”

His words hung in the air for a long minute, before you back hugged him, your cold hands on his strong warm chest.

Your effect on him was still working because he was unable to pull you away. He was tense under your touch but not against, just frustrated.

He was always so weak with you. You were just a woman but every time you were around, it was like the best moment of his life.

“ I'm just afraid. ” you admitted. “ and you should too. because someone's gonna lose this fight. ”

“ I can't die without your consent. Do you remember ? ”

“ Will you also stop going to war for me ? I'm begging you. ”

“ So you know how to beg princess ? Interesting. ”

“ Surprised ? I've just learned from the man who always begged me. ” you teased in a playful tone.

“ The General was right. You're very pretty in that dress…”

“ I was wondering when you're gonna tell me. It was very long without you. I've had hard times in your absence because i was just thinking of you all day. ”

“ And now i'm back. You're really thinking of me all day ? ” He asked, pulling you closer to him, before sliding a hand down your tummy, making her way between your thighs. “ even there ? Yea, i can feel it, princess. You really missed me don't you ?”

“ We're in public. ”

“ Yea ? Should put them a show then. ”

Last night, you slept well. Maybe because you felt less alone now that Rafe was home. Everything seemed more comfortable, your blankets warmer, your pillows softer.

While you expected to see one of your servants when the door to your room opened, you were surprised to find that it was several guards.

“The emperor asks for you, your grace. " the commander had declared. "You'd better get dressed. "

“Give me a few minutes.”

Naive and carefree that you were, you didn't see the harm in this request even if it seemed strange to you. You just hoped it wasn't just about your future union with the general.

Quickly, you put on a decent outfit and followed the guards to the throne room.

Your world had collapsed when you discovered Rafe chained at the wrists and feet surrounded by guards like a prisoner.

“rafe!” your voice cracked both in your throat and the large room. you ran towards him but were held back by two soldiers.

what had to happen happened. no one escaped their fate. everyone was forced to endure it. your cheeks were covered in tears as you fell to your knees.

you only had to look at your lover for a few seconds to hear each fragment of your heart crystallize before exploding into pieces in your chest. the pain was heavy, a sharp and stabbing torture like a dagger plunged into the vital organ. you could barely breathe. the vision of his bruised face stuck in your mind. but above all this distressed look.

you were guilty. you had been unable to protect him, unable to save him. you had been helpless. and you felt selfish.

" enough ! " your father had proclaimed.

“leave him, dad. I beg you...take my life, not his. " you replied.

“it is not me who will decide his fate, nor you, my dear child. but Rome. "

" No ! No ! not the arena. everything but not that. "

your father’s smile was sadistic, so imperial in the face of your tears.

you had never felt so much hatred towards him as in that very moment.

“ You disrespected me by playing around with one of my soldat, you humiliated me ! But maybe it's my fault. I let you have too much freedom. But now, it's over. I'm gonna punish you and you will perhaps learn. You're gonna marry the general right after the death of your boyfriend. and remember, you can hate me with all your guts, don't forget that you're the one who chose his faith by sneaking around with him. ”

“ I love him, dad ! He's the only Man i want. ”

“ Instead of making your apologies, you're still defending him. Don't forget who you are. You're maybe my daughter but I will not hesitate to kill you. But if i do this, you're gonna be happy to join your lover and happiness…is something i can't no longer give you. ”

Rafe's jaw was tight. he had already struggled so much since his arrest. his muscles were tired. and anyway, he was now a captive. the chains were too heavy.

he was also suffering from his new injuries. his rage was gradual and intensive, his breathing was ragged, completely in rhythm with the movement of his arched mouth. blood was streaming down part of his lip down to his chin. there was so much anger in his system that the fat of his muscles were vibrating.

his eyes were distorted with hatred and pain. his blood vessels were dilated and red. With the chaos in his head, all his inner voices arguing within them, he was about to explode.

he knew the arena. everyone knew this place. it was the favorite spectacle of emperors, where gladiators faced each other to the death. life was rarely granted. it was a massacre consented to by the people, governed by freaks.

Most of the time, gladiators were war slaves, criminals, traitors. they were rarely people of high rank.

At nightfall, you waited until it was dark and there was no one left in the palace to leave your room discreetly and reach the cellar of the arena where the future gladiators were. you were trembling, scared and out of breath. you almost fell down the spiral stairs due to the narrowness of the place. you had negotiated with the night guard for a moment with rafe. he had given you a few minutes.

“rafe” you whispered as he stood up at the sound of the door.

“I’m terribly sorry.” you said. “It’s all my fault.”

you got closer. his face was damaged. he shook his head.

“I'm going to kill them all tomorrow,” he declared. “absolutely all.”

“you can’t kill them all.”

“I can.”

"I don't want you to die. I can't watch this.”

you had retrieved a tissue from under your cloak, and applied it to the glooming bruises. he grimaced slightly and you smiled. “does it hurt? ”

“i can handle this. ”

“ i'm so afraid. my father wants you dead. ”

“ he forgets who I am. i'm one of his best soldiers, none of his gladiators can't beat me. so look at me, i'm not gonna die. better than that, i'm not gonna leave you alone.”

“ i really don't want to marry this guy. ”

“ baby, you're not gonna marry anyone but me. ” ignoring the pain that came from his injuries, he pulled you on his lap, before kissing you so desperately that his mouth was literally devouring you, his tongue tearing your lips apart.

when the time presented itself, you were forced to follow your father to the royal balcony located in the arena, the one which gave a view of the entire expanse of the place. all of Rome was there. you would have hoped for pity, compassion, mercy but there was none of those. all the cries roared in the crowd, from the stands to the streets.

you were handcuffed to your chair, treated like a prisoner. your heart was beating painfully fast in your chest like a malfunctioning machine. you hated the position you were in. you weren't one of those people who loved to fight to the death. it was brutal, gory and pathetic. no one deserved this.

“ everything's okay ? ” the general asked.

“ i don't want to watch it. i just don't want this. ”

“ you should think of this before putting yourself in this situation. ” cutted your father, before addressing himself to his people.

he was so high, so glorified in society. but this man was evil and sick, a cruel emperor who loved to see people suffer.

in the shadows of the wings, where the warriors waited behind a great iron wall, rafe was prepared. he wasn't going to lose. Above all, he saw himself incapable of losing you. he had to fight for his honor but yours too. he was angry with your father as he never was so angry with his own.

the soldier had never had a break in his life. always pushed to his limits, always pushing to surpass himself. he was the eldest of his family, the one who had no right to make mistakes, the one who had to guard his weaknesses, the one who had to grow up more alone than the others. his father had always been hard on him, in his upbringing and with his feelings. sometimes, rafe agreed to talk to you about his mother and it was in these moments that you most often saw him smile. there were few women who had mattered to him. but now you were the only one.

the orchestra had resounded throughout the assembly, dominating all external noises. the games were about to begin for the pleasure of the spectators. your mouth was pursed, your heart was on the edge of your lips and the feeling of being on the door of the abyss. you would have rather been killed than witness the death of your lover.

when you saw him enter the arena, you tried to appear neutral because he seemed calm.

he always looked so magnificent in his armor. his hair was swept by the wind, a few strands flying over his forehead while dust covered his sun-kissed face, hands turned into fists.. because of the heat, he was already sweating. your hands trembled under the handcuffs as you watched him walk over the sand that must surely burn his feets.

you prayed. you prayed for him. you asked the gods for forgiveness and clemency. you prayed like you had never done before. “ save him. ” you whispered to yourself, collecting your tears in your prayers.

your eyes were opened against your will. it was extremely violent from the start. It had only been a few minutes since corpses were already on the ground, blood was spurting from falling bodies. you would like to care about everyone's fate but you only thought about rafe. you had your gaze glued to him, following every of his movements. you were unlike him, defeated and desperate.

however, he was well ahead of this battle. there was a sick rage within him, and an intense desire to win. a lot of throats have been slashed merciless under his sword. his head was empty, and every of his blasted punches was literally dead strokes. if people from the tribunes wanted a show, he was willing to give them. his charming face was hidden by some dripping blood that was running down from his mouth full of it.

he was no longer human for the moment, just a war dog who beat every one of his adversaries. all of his muscles were pushed hard to fight. his shield was pressed against his chest, and his movements focused on the action. he had been beaten many times but not defeated. he received several punches to the face and sword blows to the body but that did not stop him from continuing. as he fought, strong and fearsome, you began to be cooler. the crowd standed quickly by him.

there were around fifteen people left in the area. the best fighters. you seemed relaxed but you were still stressed because fate rarely announced a good fate to heroes. you were afraid of losing the only person you loved, you didn't want to and you weren't prepared for it. you were already suffering at the idea of seeing rafe's corpse plunge heavily into the dusty sand of the Colosseum. your body was under the influence of your bad thoughts. your tears were bitter and salty.

you watched your lover fight through the gladiators under the clanging of swords, the clash of blades. he had a good attack and a powerful shot. it was supposed to survive. he could do it. he had to do it.

he had no right to abandon you. no right to die without your consent.

the hardest part was not being able to move, being condemned to witness his fall.

you knew your father was a cruel man. he was not the emperor of Rome for nothing. He had killed innocent people, reduced people to slavery, and torn families apart. But you didn't think that one day you would be one of his victims, that you would be the target of one of his sadistic games.

sometimes he would turn his head to look at you and revel in your decaying face. to the point you believe that he wanted your death more than Rafe's.

when only him and one other remained in the arena. the finale was announced by the violent sound of trumpets. now the entire population was hanging in this fight. men were leaning over the boxes to better observe the battle.

the assault had been rapid and violent but above all gory. there was blood and sparkles dripping under a clash of sword attack. rafe had managed to gain the advantage, pushing his opponent to the ground. the victim had succeeded to dodge his blade several times before it was furiously stabbed into his leg.

you closed one eye, making a grimace. the man ended up getting up, retrieving his sword to resume the duel. he had taken his revenge. he now had the upper hand over rafe, and the massacre continued.

except this time it was even more painful because rafe was staggering and unsteady, his face was badly beaten, and the blood was rushing from his opened fleshwounds.

you wanted to scream but it was impossible. nothing came. nor your voice. nor your words. you were stuck in an uncomfortable silence.

you thought about how you could have hated him so much in the past and now he was all that mattered to you. you wanted to go back in time, find this machine that granted wishes, ask the god for forgiveness for not having been faithful enough to them. you wanted to go back to when you and Rafe were still innocent of the fate that awaited you.

you wanted to return to the comfort of the past. the present was unbearable.

the man's body fell to the ground with a big bounce. his corpse had caused the crowd to vibrate with a festive howl. cries were heard from all sides but the time had come to give a fate to the winner. they could save his life or kill him.

your father stood up, silencing the crowd with a wave of his hand. his look was sick. he had placed his thumb vertically, up and down. but before he could even finish, the body of Rafe fell to the ground. you heard his voice raising in a painful growl, as he closed his eyes just under your gaze.

you screamed, the most longest and hurtful rome has ever heard in her life. strangely, the emperor let the guards break your chains and you ran away to the arena. you didn't Care about how much people watched you, you just wanted to check your lover’s health.

“ don't leave me. don't you dare leave me. you have no right leaving me. Do you hear me ? you can't leave me. it's a promise, don't you remember ? ” you shouted, shaking his body against your hands. your voice was broken and your tears were bleeding in your face. “ i'm gonna hate you forever if you leave me. forever…i'm sorry, really, i'm sorry…”

no one lifted a single finger, not even a single move. they were just watching you falling into madness from the loss of your boyfriend. he was still breathing but his eyes were closed.

“ it's an order from your princess. stay alive… where did you go, my bodyguard ? where did you go ? tell me and i will make you come back. i can't lose you. i-i love you, okay ? isn't you supposed to be waking up now ? ”

“ you didn't change at all, a bit of a crybaby when i'm not around. ” he joked slightly through the pain of his wounds.

“ are you dead ? i mean, are you okay ? ”

“ i can't promise you anything. ”

“ does he will kill you if i'm kissing you right now ? ”

“ still planning to kill me even after all those years ? ”

“ rafe. i'm very worried…I want to go back to the beginning. take me back to the start. it's an order. ”

his hand weakened in yours, falling from your grip.

but it can't be over. not like that.

“ rafe…rafe….rafe. answer me. rafe ? answ… me…could you fight for me...just one last time...”

[suratan-zir]

I'm not calling any names and not getting into a personal confrontation. But with this comment under one of my recent posts I wanted to show you what a rare "normal" "good" russian looks like.

Ukrainians online and offline mostly get called slurs by russians, but the stereotypical "you knokhol pigs have no right to exist" shit doesn't evoke any feelings anymore. In me, at least. It's rare comments like this that truly get to me.

Let's set things straight: do I think it's easy being russian now? Do I think all russian people are bloodthirsty monsters who want to kill us all? Do I think all of them are doing absolutely nothing to oppose the regime? No. To all of the above.

But it's with the russian "liberal opposition" that you most often get the "we're sorry and ashamed, but…" You know how in relationships with abusive, manipulative, self-involved people you never get to hear a sincere apology? It's always "sorry but" – either "but I suffer too", "I am not to blame", "I had no bad intentions" etc. That's the same thing with most of the "good" russians.

Do I think it's fair that some of them had to leave their homes and their country behind, when they never voted for putin and didn't "want the war"? No. Things are rarely fair in this world. But you can just say you're ashamed by your nation, or you're devastated by the fact that your countrymen recently killed 20 innocent people, including 9 children, with a ballistic missile, in the middle of the day. You don't have to add your personal struggles commenting on such news, to show that you are also a victim.

Especially when you're commenting on a blog run by a Ukrainian living in Ukraine. You have no idea what most of us have been or are going through, what or who we have lost because of your country. I lost not only my home, but my city, and some other cities near and dear to me, like my grandma's town where I spent all my summer breaks - lie in ruins. Uninhabitable. Nothing but a pile of rubble. Because your country destroyed it.

We don't need to hear how sorry and ashamed you are, when it doesn't come from a place of sincerity and accountability. You can make this about yourself under the posts about russian struggles, or in your own space. Don't come to us with this shit. Our ability to empathise with you gets crippled by each day our people die and our cities get vaporized.

[milkamel]

Ahem. Hi.

I know I've drawn a lot of shadowvanilla stuff recently and yapped about how much I love it when actually… I was lying.

…

I HATE IT WITH BURNING PASSION!!!!!!!!!!!! I only drew it cause it was.......... ugh, popular 🙄🙄

You people love abusive ships huh what's wrong with you like actually how can you ship something that has such a big power imbalance?? Are TOXIC relationships a joke to you?

Thinking that I'm being stupid and that this ship isn't an abuser x victim?? Well, let me show you proof.

(ALSO PLEASE REBLOG TO SPREAD THE AWARENESS!!!!)

Look at Truthless Recluse here, he's clearly distressed and angry. Not like how Pure Vanilla would act, as he's nice and sweet with everyone. BUT NOT WITH SHADOW MILK...........

You know what they say.............… abusers only show their true selves with people they abuse and here he is screaming at the poor Smilky Twinky like an angry feral animal!! As you can see 'Pure' Vanilla isn't actually THAT pure…. he's a heartless monster who torments the poor little guy...................... (I bet he throws beer bottles at Shamil too)

Next point!

A lot of people lately have been spreading an absolutely inaccurate headcanon that Pure Vanilla is 'minor coded' which is a blatant LIE.............. It has been proven that Shadow Milk is the one who's minor coded and has been unfairly attacked.

Here we see him turn into a kid specifically when PV is around. You know why? Correct, he's scared of Pure Vanilla. He feels small around him, helpless, like a child so he literally becomes one. Not so funny now, shadowvanilla shippers? (also the fact that he's a jester!! kids like toys and flashy stuff!! minor coded behavior!!)

Now the manipulation.

The whole 8th episode has been nothing but a cruel masterplan created by Truthless Recluse designed to break Shadow Milk's heart..... How cruel must you be to lie to someone who's just lonely and wants a friend? Just peak psychopathic behavior on PV's part. (He even says that he did that to make Shamil to lower his guard!! He doesn't even hide that and admits his crimes!!)

Just look how sad and desperate he's here… no one deserve this…....

And after that betrayal, stab in the back, Pure Vanilla attempted to BEFRIEND him? This is manipulation too. He tries to act like he isn't the bad guy, as if he didn't just break Shadow Milk beyond repair. But how can you befriend someone who deceived you? I don't blame Smilk for refusing this offer run my boy, don't let him trick you!!

(look at how heartbroken and hurt he is after P**e V*****a beat him up,, talk about 'friendship'...........)

So as you can see this ship SHOULDN'T BE SHIPPED at any point. Pure Vanilla is the abuser, manipulator, gaslighter and a lot more. While Shadow Milk was his poor puppet he played with him for his own amusement. This ship is the worst thing I had yet witnessed in this life and if you ship it uhhhhhh- I hope both sides of your pillow are hot.............................gross..... be better.

.......

...................

but ngl I think them kissing isn't that bad yk a little bit toxicity in the ship doesn't hurt anyone!!!

Happy April Fools btw <3 (expect more shadowvanilla art in the future I need them to make out <3)

[a-fangirltrash]

"Ford treated Fiddleford so bad!!" As if him treating Fidds like shit wasn't directly a product of being constantly gaslighted and abused by Bill.

I'm genuinely getting tired of people flaming Ford, but in a serious tone. Like people are acting like he's a toxic selfish man that used to put Fidd down... and... no he never did???

Ford ADMIRED Fiddleford, he TRUSTED his friend for what he described as "the project of his life" and Ford, being the most prideful man in the world, decided to ask for help because he knew how CAPABLE Fiddleford was.

When Fiddleford arrived Ford let him know how thankful he was that he was there with him, the man even took a bath and made sure to make him feel like he was at home. Ford even remembered his favorite bean brand?

When Fidd got traumatized by the gremoblin, Ford TRIED to help with what he knew. He tried to help him meditate, took days off for him, decided that they could go out and have some good time. Be mindful that this might've been the total OPPOSITE of what Bill wanted, and he still did for his friend sanity. Bill would make Ford work like CRAZY.

Also, for him it wasn't "putting him in danger!!" For him it was sharing adventures with his friend! Just like hi did with *cofcofSTANLEYcofcof*. That's love language all around.

Fiddleford could abandon the project anytime, but he didn't because he liked being there. And Ford is NOT the guilty one for Fidds creatinf the gun :/ it's nor his fault that fidd interpreted "using his creativity" in that way. Ford NEVER approved that gun.

Also, Ford noticed that RUBIK THING, HE APPREACITE HIM SO MUCH HE KNEW HIS HABITS. AND GOT CONCERNED RIGHT AHEAD.

"B-but he free Frilliam!" The portal was close, did you all READ how much gaslighted Ford was at that point? He didn't free it because "ugh i don't care about this shitty axolotl" but because Bill started to freak out and yell at him to get rid of it. Ford wrote "A friend" with a heart in the title??? Wdym he didn't appreciate it aaaagh

If Stanley took the diaries (i don't like this universe because...stanley:() he WOULD have looked for Fiddleford, they'd have made the Institute of Oddology, he'd have shared his success... with the man that helped him the most.

TBOB SPOILERS AHEAD

He got sad when Fiddleford told him he was gonna get back home to spent time with his family, he PLANNED holidays with him. Even if he DIDN'T like holidays.

He took a day off just to make him happy after his atrocious christmas party, he USED RESOURCES that as you know ford is the most practical mam in the world JUST to decorate the portal as a tree and make Fiddleford happy.

And that atuff of "h-he doesn't appreaciated Fiddleford gifts!" IS SO DUMB OMG, he wore the gloves in the snow and was incredibly thankful about them. When BILL that dumbass triangle pretty much LACERATED his hands, he used Fiddleford gloves as a way to hide those scars, and in a sense, probably to comfort himself because he was ALONE.

I think that was the reason of Fiddleford fast forgiveness, not only because he's a sweet heart, but because after fighting with Bill i think he noticed how BIG was the monster torturing his "partner".

And after all of this i'm not trying to excuse Ford treating him poorly and not listening to him in time

BUT FORD IS NOT A PERFECT VICTIM

Even if i believe he wasn't "the" (at least only) reason of Fiddleford becoming crazy, i know it could have been better for him and he could have avoided so much trauma. But can we please stop seeing Ford as a selfish, evil mad scientist and start seing him as a victim... of a terribly abusive relationship that checks in for all types of domestic abuse... please!!! Ford is not a perfect VICTIM Can we blame Bill!!!

All this rant is because there's certain ship... which i kinda like, but i just HATE HATE HATE the interpretation and how much they put Ford as a villian on it omg

Edit: fixed the use of word narcissism, since it might've been ableist! Replaced with words that actually relate to what i intended to say, instead of referencing a personality disorder

[ninjaturtlecosmo]

The difference between Vivziepop antis and people in the Hellaverse fandom (Based on what I've personally seen)

Fans;

- Show their appreciation for Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss in different ways, be it fanart, fanfiction, Tiktok videos, ect.

- Acknowledge the flaws characters have, but will also carefully analyze the characters in a way that explains their actions, but doesn't justify the things they say or do, detailing how complex those characters actually are.

- If fans have different opinions, as long as they're respectful, they agree to disagree

- Know how to actually enjoy a show despite it's flaws, while also knowing how to separate the art from the artist, regardless of whatever Vivziepop may or may not have done.

Antis;

- Usually give the most narrow, shallow minded views on characters and episodes, only caring about if a character does anything remotely sexual and then getting mad when it happens, because God forbid a show made for adults has sexual situations in it.

- Get mad when fans of the show don't share their worldview or call them out on said shallow views when they try to explain that a character isn't as bad as they claim them to be

- Criticism towards characters often includes victim blaming and defending the abuser, specifically Stolas and Stella, or the Karen client and her husband from the Sinsmas episode, and then they still get mad at people who defend Stolas or the Karen's husband

- Clearly only watch the Hellaverse just to hate on it more when their time would be better off spent consuming content they actually enjoy and then making content on that instead

- Don't actually care about helping Vivziepop improve her work, only post destructive criticism in the hopes of tearing her and all her crew down

- Obsessively keep track of every move Vivziepop makes, keep a record of all her past actions, and then document on it obsessively despite claiming to hate or dislike her..... should be enough to tell you how insane a lot of the antis are that they're this obsessed over hating on someone just because they don't like her work.

[starlattethesqueakwal]

All of the proof that we have that Vivziepop is abusive. (So far....)

While you support this post please go ahead and support my channel to see more about Vivziepop's abusive behavior. Thanks!

1. She rushes her employees.

Season 1 was made in 2020. While Season 2 was made in 2021 while being released with MULTIPLE EPISODES only ONE year later.

That's-

INSANE!

-and im about to tell you why:

The average cartoon needs almost ONE WHOLE YEAR to produce one episode. And this is what we see in MAINSTREAM shows.

Meanwhile, Helluva Boss took only one year (and a half) to make MULTIPLE ENTIRE EPISODES that last over 20 minutes. The longest waiting time for an episode being 8 months. Not even a year, and we get multiple episodes off the drawing board.

You can even see here that it's taken only three years to make 16 episodes. When this is an indie studio, so this should have taken so much longer to make. Yet for some reason, it took only a few years for us to get full seasons. In 2021, we got over 4 episodes alone. Have you ever wondered why these episodes come out so fast while other shows take a lot longer to get new seasons? That's an easy question to ask... Spindlehorse...

Is being ABUSED.

And I have the proof to show.

2. The pay controversy.

Spindlehorse's payment has been under controversy for providing the lowest pay possible to those that work at the studio.

One piece of evidence was given by Adam himself (albeit unintentionally) by saying this:

This kind of pay is highly unstable! And before you say "But he didn't force them to be there-"

LOOK.

The employees themselves admitted that they had no choice. People had no choice and Vivienne Medrano took advantage of that for her own selfish desires. This is disgusting treatment of a studio as small as Spindlehorse. Or any studio for that matter.

Hell! chaifootsteps said once that once Zeurel released that he was paying his animators too low, he deleted one of the tweets showing the low pay and decided to do something to give his employees better wages. Meanwhile, Chimera Bunny pays even less than Viv does and just because paying your workers low is normal in the animation industry- plot twist: Doesn't make it ok!

People have suffered so much in this industry, it's why "New Deal for Animation" exists. The only reason you haven't seen many Vivziepop workers having protests and speaking out is because Vivziepop says things like this behind people's backs if they "dare" do anything she doesn't like:

So that explains as to why so many people remain as "anon" or say nothing at all because they got cold feet. Vivienne's terrible!

Especially since even her top employees have admitted to not being paid enough despite Adam's "I pay them to stay if they make us the most mon-ey!" claims from the article:

Also this:

This is how she speaks about her own employees:

"YOU DONT LIKE HOW I TREAT YOU?! FUCK OFF!"

Straight up abuse.

Also, wasn't Walt Disney known for abusing his employees?

To the point where people had an entire protest in 1914 about it?

Wow... such a healthy workplace treatment comparison. Doesn't make Vivziepop look more like a jerk.... at all! /s

3. She bullies kids/laughed at a sa victim that was sa'ed by her friends. As one kid was bullied into a panic attack (I know them personally) back in about 2020 and Viv decided to vague post about them behind their back even after they apologized.

For someone who's so focused on "forgiving despite cancel culture" she sure likes to blame and harass people for disliking even ONE thing about her show or herself. One thing- and you're harassed over making a meme about a cartoon with fictional characters (What Froot Did that set Vivziepop and Gumball off.)

Secondly, one of her friends sexually harassed a minor.

And instead of acknowledging the sa, Vivziepop wrote this:

She ended up calling it a "joke" and made fun of the victim involved.

This is outright abusive behavior that should not be tolerated.

Children don't deserve to be traumatized this way. Especially over something as simple as making memes about a cartoon (negative or not) or simply telling someone to stop fetishizing abuse.

More on this in this video made by Gummypop:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND-

That's all that I have for now!

Will likely be updating this post in the future. Goodbye!

EDIT:

More evidence of Vivziepop using abusive language and slander against her employees behind their back. Claims of them being a "stalker" (like she did to Kedi and also its clear that she told her employees to say that Kaz was a "stalker" otherwise how else would they be saying these things after she fired them.) along with using abusive language such as "CUNT!" to prefer to Kaz this way in a professional setting I cannot. 💀

More evidence of Vivziepop harassing a kid:

ANOTHER edit:

More evidence, she's burning them the HELL out!

Yet ANOTHER edit:

More evidence of Spindlehorse being abusive:

EDIT:

Even MORE evidence:

The fact that the story AND the storyboards AND the animating for season one's episodes were all done in one year is just so crazy to me like... WHAT?! Either way, this post will continue to extend the more that I find evidence. So remember to look forward to that one!

EDIT:

Sadly no, as animation abuse is so common that the police dont even see it as an issue. The last time I tried to call the police on her they needed a location. The problem? There is no location of Spindlehorse since it's a "private" studio. So because of that viv gets away with abuse despite the obvious implications of her behavior and how many people came out with allegations towards her.

[kirain]

Sigh....Galemancers really love to move the goal post when it comes to the grooming accusations huh? You found out Gale was a fully grown MAN when Mystra slept with him so now you have to say, "Well then he was emotionally groomed and the power dynamic is too vast." Mystra is a neutral good goddess because she's Midnight, who was a neutral good human. She hates that her magic has to be used for good and evil. Ao makes her share it evenly but she'd rather not. She would never do anything to hurt Gale. The writers of the game even confirmed she's not a groomer. People like you also downplay the point of Gale's entire story arc, which is he should've listened to Mystra! The whole point of his personal quest is he needs to learn to humble himself and listen to his goddess! He has no one to blame for his downfall but himself.

There's no "post" to move, anon. The game and lore give us all the context we need. Grooming doesn't only apply to children, and people have proven right and left that Mystra is terrible at relationships. She's petty and abusive when she isn't obeyed by her partners, and that's been the case with all of her iterations. Even the narrator describes her as a "jealous goddess" when you visit her shrine. Plus, your information is wrong on many accounts; the most pertinent being that the Mystra of BG3/5E isn't technically Midnight. Cyric and Shar killed her, reducing her to her godly essence (lore-wise that means she died). The current Mystra is an amalgamation of the vestiges of Mystryl, Mystra, and Midnight, as told in the novel Elminster Enraged.

Now, this is about to get complicated, as it always does with Mystra, so from here on out I'll be referring to Mystra #1 as Mystryl, Mystra #2 as Mystra #2, Mystra #3 as Midnight, and Mystra #4 as 5E Mystra. Alright, let's get started.

Elminster had to reform the fallen goddess by giving her fragments of all three iterations of Mystra. Since all three iterations are combined, our current 5E Mystra embodies the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly. There's even a conversation with The Simbul (one of the Seven Sisters and a Chosen of Mystra) where the newly reformed 5E Mystra speaks of Elminster as her "longest lover". This puzzles The Simbul because that was something of the old Mystra (Mystra #2), not Midnight. The new 5E Mystra replies that she has become a combination of the memories of Mystryl, Mystra #2, and Midnight. This is all in chapter 25-30 of Elminster Enraged. I know it's confusing, but in short: 5E Mystra is not Midnight anymore, and the leading mind is clearly that of Mystra #2, hence her extremely poor judgement—a recurring theme with her character.

Mystryl and Mystra #2 were originally lawful neutral. The alignment changed to neutral good when Midnight took up the mantle, because Midnight herself was a neutral good person. But now it seems 5E Mystra is true neutral, because you are right, anon; Ao won't allow her to do whatever she wants. Midnight tried and was forbidden. 5E Mystra absolutely does not have the same level of humanity or kindness as Midnight, and that may be because Mystryl had no human consciousness and Mystra #2 was a mess.

Regardless of her alignment, she must embody her domain by Ao's decree, which means she needs to spread magic across all Realmspace. Since she has to maintain the balance, she approaches good, neutral, and evil mages with potential opportunities. This isn't a criticism (that's just how godhood works), but rather proof that Mystra is absolutely capable of good and bad. I don't want to hear any more of this "she's a precious little bean and Gale's victim" nonsense. Even if she wants to be, she's not. As Kikitakite said in their post, she's done some fucked up things.

Whether or not the writers intended to make Mystra a groomer, that's exactly what they did. Sometimes writers don't realise they've written an abusive character until they're criticised. Take writer of The Notebook, Nicholas Sparks, for example. He didn't realise he'd written Noah to be an abusive piece of shit until Ryan Gosling pointed it out himself. Gosling has gone on record many times to say he hates Noah, and experts have labeled him an unrealistic and emotionally abusive/manipulative character. The same can be said for Stephenie Meyer, who wrote some of the most celebrated toxic relationships in recent media—with a dash of borderline pedophilia on the side. Therapists have weighed in extensively to tell people that Bella and Edward's relationship isn't healthy and shouldn't be emulated in real life. Indeed, perhaps the best thing to come out of the entire franchise is Robert Pattinson's hatred of Edward and the series as a whole. Jacob's actor, Taylor Lautner, even argued with Meyer's on set because of how weird the "imprinting" segment was and he didn't want to come off as predatory. Meyer argued it was "romantic". 😕

Even if you don't agree Gale was groomed, Mystra is flagrantly responsible for his insecurities and she never should've put her hands on him. The power dynamic is too vast, and even god Gale (conceited as he is) realises it by the end. He only stays in a relationship with Tav if they allow him to ascend them alongside him as his equal. He recognises that anything else would be unhealthy and unacceptable. Also, I researched high and low regarding your claim, but none of the devs have dispelled the idea that Mystra is a groomer. In fact, the most I could find was one dev simply saying, "To Gale it was love, but he didn't know any better." If anything, that only confirms he was confused and didn't know what to do. Their "relationship" was a stunningly horrible idea from the start and that's not on Gale, it's on the literal cosmic being who initiated it.

Moreover, Gale was very likely 17 when Mystra revealed herself to him. This perfectly fits into the 5E Forgotten Realms timeline. If so, no, he absolutely wasn't a grown man. He was a teenager. Mystra may not have slept with him until he was in his 20's, but that still makes it a disgusting teacher-turned-lover situation. Gale even tells us he was "young" when she took him into her fold, and he was only eight years old when Elminster started their lessons. Remember, Elminster is Mystra's biggest apologist. He would've taught Gale to revere her, which means there was almost never a point in his life when Mystra wasn't the main focus. You can tell by the way he speaks about her in Act 1. He's in awe, he's excited, he's proud she chose him. That does something to a child. Something irreversible. If anything, Elminster is complicit in what happened. I've said this before, but he couldn't even be bothered to visit Gale himself. He sent a simulacrum.

As for your accusation that I'm "downplaying" Gale's story arc—you're damn right I am, because the writers made me! Most D&D players I know aren't very happy with how Mystra is portrayed in the game, and that's probably because even they know she isn't presented in a very flattering light. If you really think about it, it's obvious what the writers were going for, but they failed. For example, you said Gale should've listened to Mystra, right? Well, in Act 1 he admits his ambition was his undoing, blames himself for his downfall, and by Act 2 he's literally ready to off himself for her. In fact, he's the only one who sees her ultimatum as justified. Every other companion says she's being cruel and unreasonable. If Gale actually blows himself up at the end of Act 2, the results are catastrophic. The brain is destroyed, yes, but the tadpoles, free of the Absolute's control, complete their transformation and infect/enslave the entire Sword Coast. Anon. She. Is. Stupid. Even the Narrator is like, "You wanna ... you wanna try that again?"

The entirety of Act 2 is Gale learning he shouldn't listen to Mystra. And then she has the audacity to lecture him in Act 3? If he'd listened, it would've been the end of everything. Maybe if Mystra was as infallible as she pretends to be, she would've put her three brains together and came up with a better, less vindictive plan. Because make no mistake, she wanted Gale to blow up in Act 2, which is ridiculous. I know this is an uncomfortable topic for some people, but gods aren't perfect, especially in fiction. They're flawed. They're selfish. Some of them are straight up assholes. The real irony of Gale's arc isn't that he has no one to blame but himself, it's that Mystra should blame herself. At no point does she even consider if she's being unreasonable or unfair. There's no self reflection whatsoever. And the writers expect me to think Gale's full of himself? I wonder where he got it.

Probably from his teacher. ✋🎤

[evidence-based-activism]

you’re still ignoring WHY the rates for men are so high, because women get underreported and don’t get taken seriously at all when they commit crimes. Women abuse children more and initiate 70% of domestic violence, yet men are still portrayed as the villains. You should read the comments or some of the reblogs under that post. Full of people who have been abused by women and have been safer when around only men,and never been taken seriously. You say it’s a strawman fallacy but no it’s not, radfems say this shit all the timesee. and are very gender essentialist themselves. Maybe you’re not saying it but a lot of popular radfems are, to mostly agreement from other radfems,so you can’t really blame people for seeing that and understanding it to be a popular TERF take.

Hi -

So, I'm going to answer this ask and the one that includes the bustle link that I expect was also sent by you? However, I'm not going to continue putting in this degree of effort (i.e., reading and researching the information you send) unless you start matching that effort. It will be difficult for you to do so in an ask (although I suppose you could try), so I suggest you reblog this post to further discuss.

So, on to the response:

---

No, there is not a significant reporting gap (at least, not one caused by sex).

You said "women get underreported and don’t get taken seriously at all when they commit crimes", but there is no evidence that is the case. Let's take the crime data from two sources: the criminal victimization survey by the BJS [1] and the FBI crime data explorer [2]. These two sources are helpful for this discussion because the BJS attempts to determine total offenses including those not reported, while the FBI only looks at reported offenses.

For 2022 (rounding numbers) and looking at violent offenses (excluding homicide as the BJS report is interview based):

Male violent crime: 4,750,000 estimated by the BJS and 1,990,000 reported by the FBI for an overall 42% reporting rate

Female violent crime: 1,220,000 estimated by the BJS and 777,000 reported by the FBI for an overall 64% reporting rate

These numbers would suggest that more female offenders than male offenders are reported (i.e., a greater percent of female offenders, even though in absolute terms there are far fewer female offenders). However, there are some caveats to this data that makes me reluctant to state this conclusion:

The crime definitions between the BJS and FBI differ slightly. For example, I had to search through the "other crimes" for the FBI to find simple assault and several additional sexual assault categories to try and match the overall BJS "violent crime" statistic.

These stats are incident based not offender based. So, for example, if John commits 10 aggravated assaults and 5 of his victims report the assault to the police, 5 incidents are recorded in the system. Therefore, recidivism may or may not play a role in reporting rates.

I calculated the rate using the offender stats for individual offenders and "both male and female offender". Proportionally speaking a greater percent of female offenders are in the "both" category (23% vs 6%). Other statistics suggest more severe crimes are more likely to be reported to the police (e.g., 50% of aggravated assault is reported vs 37% of simple assault). If we make the assumption that violent crimes involving multiple offenders are more likely to be severe, then this could partially explain the disparity.

However, this point is essentially irrelevant, as the statistics previously discussed in the CDC report don't rely on reported crimes, they specifically interview representative samples in order to determine prevalence rates. (The difference between this data (and data in the BJS report) and the number of reported cases is how we know these crimes are under-reported.)

Just to drive the point home: the BJS study, which again, looks at both reported and unreported crime indicates:

Men take part in 84% of violent crimes and the only offender(s) in 79% of violent crimes (the stats for women are 21% and 17% respectively)

The offender-to-population ratio is 1.6 for men and 0.3 for women. That means the share of men in the "offender population" is 60% more than the share of men in the US population. The share of women offenders is 70% less than their share of the US population.

And before you send me another debunked myth: no men are not victimized more: the victim-to-offender population ratio for all violent crimes is 1.0 for both men and women.

I've also talked about how men don't under-report abuse (at least, not anymore than women do) in the past, so see this post for a couple more sources.

There's also no evidence that crimes committed by women get taken less seriously. However, it is true that when women do commit crimes, they tend to be less severe than the crimes committed by men (i.e., women commit more simple assault and aggravated assault). Given this, women's crimes may be taken "less seriously", but that's because the crimes are less serious, going by the accepted definitions of the crime. (And this is not my personal opinion! There is an actual "crime hierarchy" used in the American justice system that ranks crimes by degree of severity.)

In terms of legal consequences, women and men receive similar sentence lengths with one major caveat [3]. Caretakers of children, especially, young children, routinely received shorter sentences. Since women are more likely to be the primary caretaker of children, they'd be more likely to see this sentence reduction. However, this gap has been closing since the introduction of mandatory minimum sentencing. Some research suggests women may receive harsher sentences than men for "traditionally male crimes" [4].

Either way, crimes by women are clearly taken at least as "seriously" as crimes by men.

---

No women do not abuse children more.

You said "Women abuse children more", but this is an oft-repeated statement from terribly misinterpreted data.

The misconception comes from data from the child maltreatment report from the HHS [5]. This report looks at reports of child abuse and neglect. In it they found that 52% of victims had a female perpetrator and 47% had a male perpetrator. At first glance, this looks like women abuse more children (hence the wide-spread misinterpretation), however this neglects to take several things into consideration.

First, since about 51% of the population is female, even if we considered nothing else, these values would suggest parity in maltreatment (abuse + neglect) rates. Of course, even this interpretation is deeply flawed, but I thought it merited pointing out.

Second, and perhaps most important, these stats are not looking at incidence or even prevalence rates. This isn't a rate at all. For example, you may be tempted to interpret these as "52% of children in a women's care are abused" or "52% of women abuse children". These are, and I must stress this, completely incorrect interpretations. These stats say only that of child maltreatment (abuse+neglect) victims identified by CPS, 52% of them were maltreated by a women.

Next, these stats fail to take into account the fact that many more women are the primary caretaker of children. According to the American Time Use Survey (ATUS), mothers spend 80% more time caring for children than fathers. This disparity widens even further when you exclude the "entertainment" categories like playing or reading to children (130% increase, or more than double) [6]. This matters because it provides some insight into how rates of abuse would be different. You need to adjust for time spent with children to get a meaningful rate. Another way to look at this is that despite mothers spending almost twice the amount of time around children as fathers, they account for the same number of perpetrators. This alone should tell you that a child is more likely to be safe in the company of a randomly selected woman than a randomly selected man.

In case you still aren't convinced however, the report also clarifies that the perpetrator sex varied widely by maltreatment type. Women were the perpetrator in 58.5% of neglect cases (vs 41%) and 70.5% of medical neglect cases (vs 29%). But men were the perpetrator in 49.5% of physical abuse cases (vs 49%), 89% of sexual abuse cases (vs 8%), and 59% of emotional abuse cases (vs 41%). While no form of child maltreatment is ever acceptable, I hope I don't need to explain how abuse (which "requires an action") is different from neglect (which "occurs from an inaction") and requires different responses.

Speaking of neglect: there is much discourse on how much of the neglect (and medical neglect) registered by CPS is "true neglect" and how much is a result of poverty. This is particularly relevant considering single mothers are much more likely to live in poverty than married couples or single fathers. Examples of this may include: a mother doesn't have enough money to buy food and pay for rent so she and her child eat very little until her next paycheck, a single mother can't miss work without being fired so she sends her sick child to school, a single mother can't pay for child care so she has to choose between leaving her child home alone or having an unfit adult (her own abusive parent? an unsuitable boyfriend?) watch her child. In all of these situations, something absolutely needs to be done to help the child, but it likely isn't the same something as a child who's being beaten or sexually abused by his father.

Other notes on neglect: even the relatively higher proportion of female perpetrators for neglect and medical neglect in this sample are well below parity when adjusted for time spent with the child. It’s also likely that men’s rates of neglect are likely severely under-reported here. Why? Because a neglect case is rarely (if ever) opened for absentee ("deadbeat") dads; it's also unclear how many men with non-primary custody are listed as perpetrators of neglect. (I ask you: if mothers are considered neglectful for failing to intervene on behalf of their child in abusive/neglectful situations, why aren't fathers?)

Other studies on child abuse perpetration (sadly no national reports) show:

Evaluations of child fatalities in Missouri over a 8-year period showed men inflicted 71% of fatal injuries on young children [8]

Evaluations of fatal and nonfatal abusive head trauma over a 12-year period at the Children's Hospital of Denver found 69% of the perpetrators were male (including 74% of the perpetrators of fatal head traumas) [9]

Data from conviction rates and victimization surveys suggest that 4-5% of adult, child sex offenders (as in child sex offenders who are adults) are female, meaning that 95-96% are male [10]

Altogether, this indicates that men are more likely to abuse a child in their care than women. Unsurprisingly, it’s safer for children to be around women than around men.

---

No, women do not initiate more domestic violence/commit the same amount of abuse.

You said "women ... initiate 70% of domestic violence". It took me a while to find a source for this statistic, but I eventually found out it comes from a poorly done study that unfortunately finds company with a number of other poorly done studies touted by MRAs and anti-feminists.

Before we address that study specifically: a brief history of the nonsense plaguing domestic violence research.

To be clear, this is not a new discussion, we (the general we) have been having this same discussion about whether there's gender parity in domestic violence for, oh, 50 years or so. It is, possibly not entirely, but certainly mostly the result of the "Conflict Tactics Scale" (CTS). Intended for use in family violence research, it has several methodological flaws which make its results ... let's go with unreliable.

I really thought I'd discussed the CTS before now ... but can't find anything on my blog. But there is this post which is a nice pictograph about this next topic, which I will loop into our discussion of the CTS.

So ... why is the CTS so unreliable? Because "domestic violence" is not a homogeneous phenomenon. If I asked someone to picture an abusive relationship they are almost certainly going to imagine an abusive man controlling his partner through intimidation, likely restricting her behavior, and possibly hitting or otherwise physically harming her. This "typical" dynamic is what we think of when we hear "domestic abuse/violence". (I'd argue that it's what we should think of when discussing domestic violence, but I'm open to being convinced otherwise.)

Notably, what this doesn't include is the -- far more common -- case of situational violence. A "typical" example of situational violence is arguments that "gets out of hand" and end with one partner slapping/shoving/etc. the other (switching between perpetrator for different incidents) or two people who routinely get "nasty" (name calling, personal insults) to each other during arguments. There's no intimidation or controlling behavior and it doesn't escalate. It also is generally not associated with significant victim hardship (i.e., no/little increase in depression, anxiety, or PTSD; little fear or feeling unable to escape the relationship; no or few physical injuries; little or no economic hardship; etc.). It's also what's predominately being measured by the CTS.

This isn't to say that situational violence is "okay". It clearly isn't, no more than a bar fight or slapping a co-worker is okay. It is, however, far more comparable to these examples (bar fight, slapping a coworker, etc.) than it is to the standard conception of domestic violence (which itself is more comparable to being a prisoner of war [11]). Some people have tried to resolve this by renaming the standard conception to "intimate partner terrorism" or "domestic abuse with coercive control". I have ... mixed thoughts on this, so I'm going to leave it at this for now.

If you'd like to read more about this, Michael P. Johnson at PSU (who originally proposed this division back in the 1990s!) has written a book and also has numerous articles about the topic.

I have a lot of sources about the CTS/differences in violence perpetration rates, but this post is already very long and I plan to make a whole separate post about this at some point. So, I'm going to briefly summarize the points and give some references that would be particularly helpful.

So, the issues with CTS include:

Failure to include a full range of possible violent behaviors, including many that are almost always perpetrated by men, including: rape, murder, choking, and suffocation.

Failure to examine post-breakup/divorce time periods, despite post-separation being one of the most dangerous time periods for abused women (but, notably, not men).

Failure to examine context. This gets back at the paradigm I mentioned above: studies that do examine context have shown that the vast majority of coercive controlling violence (i.e., traditional abuse) is perpetrated by men and the vast majority of responsive violence (i.e., self-defense) is perpetrated by women.

Failure to examine the severity of the violence and/or violence impacts. Studies have also shown that women routinely receive the more severe injuries than men. That applies to both the injuries received from coercive controlling violence and from situational violence. Notably, men are rarely ever injured from responsive violence. Women also routinely report more severe psychological and social problems as a result of abuse.

Extremely poor phrasing of the questions. The CTS is unique in its false positive rate, as has been established by several other measures of violence. For example, simply adding the stem "Not including horseplay or joking around..." reduced the number of violent incidents reported and also showed higher rates of female victimization than male victimization.

Inconsistency with every other scale/measure used for determining prevalence rates of abuse! Hopefully it is obvious why this is an issue, but as an example: if I created a new measure for "depressive symptoms" and I found that it correlated very poorly with every other accepted measure of depressive symptoms then my new measure would be considered to have very poor "convergent validity". In non-politicized situations, my measure would likely never make it to the publishing stage, and would certainly fall out of use once this poor validity demonstrated by another study. Unfortunately, science is not immune to politics any more than the people conducting it are, as we can see with the survival of the CTS.

I gathered this information from a bunch of sources, but I've selected a few reviews (i.e., papers that "review" or condense many other papers into one) that would be helpful to you [12-16]. I recommend [12] in particular, although [13] touches on much of the same information and is much shorter. Ultimately, the CTS can, at most, be considered a measure of situational violence (and it's not even very good at that!).

---

So, finally, why is the 70% study [17] particularly bad?

All of the above problems with CTS apply, but in addition to all of that, they didn't just use the already flawed measure as it was ... no they, narrowed it down into 6 total questions. In total it asked about the respondent's perpetration of victimization of the following forms of violence: threatening with violence, pushing/shoving, throwing something, slapped, hit, kicked. They then "assessed" severity by asking a single question about injuries ("How often has partner had an injury, such as a sprain, bruise, or cut because of a fight with you?" and the corresponding victimization version.)

So, let's see ... failure to include predominately male forms of violence? Check. Further exclusion of even the existing items on the CTS that do examine this? Check! Failure to examine time past the relationship? Check. Failure to examine context? Check! Failure to examine severity of violence? Check. (Asking about a sprain or a bruise but not hospitalizations? broken bones? concussions?) Inconsistency with all other measures? Definitely!

Other problems with the study: they asked individuals to rate their perpetration and victimization, they did not examine their partners responses to such questions. This is a problem for a study like this, given that men tend to over-estimate their partners violence towards them and under-estimate their own violence towards their partner, and women do the opposite over-estimating their own violence and under-estimating their partners [12]. A note that a related problem has also shown up for the original CTS (i.e., if you asked both partners to complete the scale, their responses may agree on the "explaining a disagreement" item pair, but there was little if any agreement on the severe items like the "beating up" item pair).

To make a bad problem even worse: they condensed their multi-item (8-point) scales into binary (yes/no) categories and 3-item (low/medium/high) categories. This reduction in variance likely created artificially high rates for women and artificially low rates for men.

Hilariously (infuriatingly), they make it all the way through this data and then acknowledge that their study may not actually have examined domestic abuse at all! Instead it describes "common couple violence or situational violence", which, again, goes back to what the paradigm I introduced earlier. Of course, they don't revise their title or abstract to be less misleading ... that wouldn't be sensational enough.

Also, just to point this out: even this poorly designed, misleading study still showed "men were more likely to inflict an injury on a partner than ... women". So ... there you go. Even tipping the scales/design as far in favor of a "gender symmetry" result as they can possibly go, women still end up injured more than men.

---

So, for the rest of your ask:

"yet men are still portrayed as the villains"

well when 1 in 3 men around the world openly admit to abusing women, and they are the perpetrator of 90+% of homicides, and 10-67% of men openly admit to believing non-defensive physical and sexual violence against women is at least sometimes okay it's pretty easy to see why women can see them as the villain/enemy.

"You should read the comments or some of the reblogs under that post. Full of people who have been abused by women and have been safer when around only men,and never been taken seriously."

This is one of those cases where critical thinking skills are pretty important! Let me start you off:

Do I think that a social media post will garner a representative sample from which to draw conclusions? Or is more likely that people who agree with the post will comment on and re-blog it, spreading it more people who are more likely to agree with it?

Can I see the re-blog I'm making comments about (i.e., evidence-based-activism's re-blog?). If not, (hint: it's not in the re-blog viewer :)) is it possible that there are other hidden replies that are disagreeing with this post?

Maybe most importantly: do I need female-on-male or female-on-female violence to be as common as male-on-female and male-on-male violence in order to show compassion to those who do experience it? (Hint: you shouldn't!! Something doesn't need to be common to deserve sympathy and rare =/= excusable.)

In addition, this is touching on a pretty common issue with discourse these days -- the prioritization of "feeling" over "being". Someone (male or female) may feel safer around men, but statistically speaking they are safer around women. It's reasonable to respond to and accommodate people's feelings on an individual basis, it's not reasonable to base an ideology or policy around them.

"You say it’s a strawman fallacy but no it’s not, radfems say this shit all the timesee. ... Maybe you’re not saying it but a lot of popular radfems are, to mostly agreement from other radfems,so you can’t really blame people for seeing that and understanding it to be a popular TERF take."

Similar to the last point ... views on social media are not representative of a population. Views that you, specifically, are seeing are not representative! If they were, then "well, I see more posts preemptively criticizing people for not including men than I see posts excluding men" (which is true, almost every post I read now-a-days includes caveats like "but men are abused too!! and women can be abusers!!") would have been a valid counter-argument to your ask. But see, I know that my experience on social media is not universal, and I should hope you can acknowledge the same of your own!

Also ... to be fair to all these unnamed "radfems", I'm guessing that you would consider my posts (like this response) to be an example of someone "saying this", which is very much not the case. I am acknowledging social trends and making reasonable generalizations to allow for communication about a complex topic (you know, the way people do for any and every topic ever), but I'm not claiming that no women is ever abusive or that no man has ever been abused. I'm guessing that these other posts are pretty similar (if less verbose).

side note, you also said: "radfems ... are very gender essentialist themselves".

Either you don't know what "gender essentialist" means or the people you are talking to/about are not radfems. I acknowledge that there are a number of people going around and saying they're radfems, but the nice thing about a political group like this is they have (at least some) defined beliefs.

So, for example, if someone went around saying they are a communist, but then when asked to describe their desired economic system, describes an economy based around the free market and decentralized production ... then they aren't a communist no matter what they call themselves. A command economy is a central tenant to communism, so much so that a desire to implement one/have one is intrinsic to being a communist.

In the same way, if someone is calling themselves a radfem, but supports the preservation of gender/gender roles or believes that femininity/masculinity is biologically innate ... then they aren't a radfem.

---

TL;DR:

Violent crimes for women and men are reported at similar rates.

Women and men are punished similarly for violent crimes (i.e., people do take crimes by women seriously).

Children are safer in the company of women than men. There is insufficient research to accurately describe perpetrator demographics of "minor" child abuse/neglect, but there is significant research indicating that men are the perpetrator of the the vast majority of severe injuries, fatal injuries, and sexual abuse.

Men commit the vast majority controlling domestic violence (the type of violence people think of when thinking about domestic violence); women's violence is predominately responsive. Women are also the recipients of the vast majority of injuries (minor and severe) and are the victim of almost all fatalities.

Social media posts are not representative studies.

Critical thinking skills are important!

And, everyone -- regardless of sex or any other demographic characteristic -- deserves compassion when harmed. It is still appropriate talk about trends and create policies that assist the majority of those harmed.

A reminder that I will expect a reasonable degree of engagement with this information if you plan to engage in further discussion! I'll answer the bustle link ask, but after that I'll simply delete asks that don't make a genuine attempt to think critically about this information. (Clarifying questions are okay to ask though :)).

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References below the cut:

Criminal Victimization, 2022 | Bureau of Justice Statistics. https://bjs.ojp.gov/library/publications/criminal-victimization-2022.

“National Incident-Based Reporting System (NIBRS) Details Reported in the United States .” Federal Bureau of Investigation Crime Data Explorer, https://cde.ucr.cjis.gov/LATEST/webapp/#/pages/explorer/crime/crime-trend.

Myrna S. Raeder Gender and Sentencing: Single Moms, Battered Women, and Other Sex-Based Anomalies in the Gender-Free World of the Federal Sentencing Guidelines, 20 Pepp. L. Rev. Iss. 3 (1993) Available at: https://digitalcommons.pepperdine.edu/plr/vol20/iss3/1

https://web.archive.org/web/20240406064949/https://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2019/jan/12/intimate-partner-violence-gender-gap-cyntoia-brown

Child Maltreatment 2022. https://www.acf.hhs.gov/cb/report/child-maltreatment-2022.

“Average Hours per Day Parents Spent Caring for and Helping Household Children as Their Main Activity.” Bureau of Labor Statistics, https://www.bls.gov/charts/american-time-use/activity-by-parent.htm.

Shrider, Emily A., Melissa Kollar, Frances Chen, and Jessica Semega, U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Reports, P60-273, Income and Poverty in the United States: 2020, U.S. Government Publishing Office, Washington, DC, September 2021.

Schnitzer PG, Ewigman BG. Child deaths resulting from inflicted injuries: household risk factors and perpetrator characteristics. Pediatrics. 2005 Nov;116(5):e687-93. doi: 10.1542/peds.2005-0296. PMID: 16263983; PMCID: PMC1360186.

Starling SP, Holden JR, Jenny C. Abusive head trauma: the relationship of perpetrators to their victims. Pediatrics. 1995 Feb;95(2):259-62. PMID: 7838645.

McCartan, K. (Ed.). (2014). Responding to Sexual Offending. Palgrave Macmillan UK. https://doi.org/10.1057/9781137358134

Comparison Between Strategies Used on Prisoners of War and Battered Wives | Office of Justice Programs. https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/comparison-between-strategies-used-prisoners-war-and-battered-wives.

Michael S. Kimmel. (2001). Male Victims of Domestic Violence: A Substantive and Methodological Research Review. The Equality Committee of the Department of Education and Science. https://vawnet.org/material/male-victims-domestic-violence-substantive-and-methodological-research-review

Flood, M. (1999, July 10). Claims About Husband Battering [Contribution to Newspaper, Magazine or Website]. Domestic Violence and Incest Resource Centre Newsletter; Domestic Violence and Incest Resource Centre. https://eprints.qut.edu.au/215068/

Walter DeKeseredy & Martin Schwartz. (1998). Measuring the Extent of Woman Abuse in Intimate Heterosexual Relationships: A Critique of the Conflict Tactics Scales. VAWnet.Org. https://vawnet.org/material/measuring-extent-woman-abuse-intimate-heterosexual-relationships-critique-conflict-tactics

Shamita Das Dasgupta. (2001). Towards an Understanding of Women’s Use of Non-Lethal Violence in Intimate Heterosexual Relationships. VAWnet.Org. https://vawnet.org/material/towards-understanding-womens-use-non-lethal-violence-intimate-heterosexual-relationships

Shamita Das Dasgupta. (2001). Towards an Understanding of Women’s Use of Non-Lethal Violence in Intimate Heterosexual Relationships. VAWnet.Org. https://vawnet.org/material/towards-understanding-womens-use-non-lethal-violence-intimate-heterosexual-relationships

Whitaker, Daniel J., et al. “Differences in Frequency of Violence and Reported Injury Between Relationships With Reciprocal and Nonreciprocal Intimate Partner Violence.” American Journal of Public Health, vol. 97, no. 5, May 2007, pp. 941–47. PubMed Central, https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2005.079020.

[ackerlikesmen]

My Response

Since I can't reblog, I'll respond this way.

THIS IS NOT TO ATTACK BUT TO SHARE MY REASONING FOR DISAGREEMENT.

I won't lie. This tweet really bothered me. Same annoyance and sadness with 'You can't criticize percabeth because it's based on Rick's marriage.' I'm not saying you said that, but I see that comment often.

Anyway, I'm going to remain respectful.

You are NOT erasing Percy's character's strength by pointing out the toxicity and abuse of Percabeth. Yes, Percy is not afraid of calling out people's nonsense. HOWEVER, he does that with people he DOES NOT like. Of course, it's easier for him to call out people he doesn't like because it wouldn't affect him.

However, when it comes to people he cares for, that's another story. When it comes to Grover nearly fucking up Percy's quest because he didn't want him or Annabeth to leave him, instead of calling out his selfishness, Percy bites his tongue and BLAMES HIMSELF for making Grover feel that way.

What about when his mother admits she was selfish by not letting him go to camp? Despite being a safer option, she didn't want him going to camp. Percy had every right to be mad. This could've saved him from Gabe. But instead, he still adores her. He doesn't hold it against her.

Lastly, with Annabeth, she's done all sorts of things, like punching him in the gut, judo flipping him with the intention of hurting him, and blaming him for leaving her even though he was kidnapped.

Did Percy lash out? No. There wasn't a retort either. Instead, he laughed it off, and they haven't spoken about it. If anything, he felt the need to make it up to Annabeth. He felt GUILTY for something that was not his fault.

What about when she calls him seaweed brain, a name he doesn't like? A name similar to 'brain boy,' something smelly Gabe calls him to demean his intelligence. A name that ANNABETH finds insulting too, and doesn't want to be called. Does he tell her to stop or call her mean names back? Kinda, but he later GIVES UP and bites his tongue.

What about when Reyna says he 'couldn't find his way out of a paper bag,' and Annabeth laughs and agrees with her. Percy may have said 'hey!" but that's it. Was it talked about? I don't think so. It was brushed to the side.

Percy may be brave enough to stand up to bullies, but he doesn't stand up to his loved ones when they truly hurt him. His fatal flaw being loyalty to loved ones, even when they fuck him over, prevents him from doing that.

Annabeth is nowhere near like Gabe, but that doesn't mean she's not hurting Percy, and you're not degrading Percy for calling this out.

I was in Percy's shoes. I stood up to bullies and people I didn't like. Uncomfortable? Scary? Hell yeah, but I did it anyway. I know what that's like. However, just like Percy, I also brushed off the pain my friends and loved ones caused me. I brushed off my 'friends' fucking me over, even took the blame for them. Why? I didn't want them to leave me. I overlooked when my loved ones would unintentionally say hurtful things. Why? Because I love them and didn't want them to leave me either. Also, I tried to appear strong, too. It's okay now that I had therapy and stuff.

Guess what? Percy does the same thing, and that's worth calling out. Victims of abuse tend to overlook their loved ones hurting them.

I'm not 'minimizing' or 'erasing' Percy's strength and courage for calling a spade a spade, and I can not stand when percabeth stans try to sweep toxic things Annabeth does under the rug. Again, is she abusive and like Gabe? No. BUT she does things that remind me of Gabe, like calling Percy mean names to insult his intelligence. She hits, kicks, and hurts him when he does something she doesn't like. Gabe doesn't do this, but Annabeth would sometimes play mind games or make her boyfriend anxious just for the hell of it. (Bringing up Rachel to make Percy uncomfortable). I'll stop listing.

But I have to say. You said it was 'insulting' to Annabeth to call her actions 'abusive'? I say it's insulting to act like what she's doing isn't abusive or toxic. All that I've listed, she didn't do this playfully or in a lighthearted manner. Annabeth did this angry or annoyed and with INTENT. It wasn't an oopsie! No, she wants it to hurt, especially the judo flip scene. So, do I care if I insult Annabeth? Sorry, but no. I don't care because she's in the wrong. Not always, but MOST, and I don't feel guilty because of her actions and how she hasn't learned (and doesn't want to).

Overall, I hate that these types of arguments become popular. I understand you don't like your ship being called horrible things, and I'm not trying to be mean. Most of us are not. However, we can NOT sweep over some of the things Annabeth or Percy do, mainly Annabeth.

I'm sorry for dumping something heavy. I'm not trying to make this about me. My point is that you're not discarding Percy for calling out Percabeth's toxicity. That's it.

Night

Edited: March 18th, 2025. I wanted to add a little more and correct grammar and typos.

[drdemonprince]

Read the cop post you reblogged. Apologies if I’m being too literal. I’ve had ppl break into my house before. What am I supposed to do in that situation? Shoot the person? Let them shoot me? Genuinely asking for an alternative bc I don’t want to call the cops ever. It just feels like it’s often ppl who don’t live in areas with higher crime who post stuff like that and it feels out of touch with the reality some are living in. Most ppl in my neighborhood don’t want to abolish the police. It’s white liberals, leftists, anarchists who get to live that out more. Idk if this makes sense, but would love to hear others thoughts.

I have also had people break into my home, I've heard drills run on my block multiple times in just the past year, I've witnessed multiple shootings, violent domestic assault outside my home, etc. I also live in a racially diverse area and speak regularly with my neighbors and yeah, a 70-year-old Black grandmother in Chicago is far more likely to be a pro-cop Trump supporter than she is to be a radical anarchist. Your average person of any identity group is unlikely to be an abolitionist or anarchist... because those are still extremely fringe political positions in this world. Now it is also experience that the majority of actually committed abolitionists are Black & brown people, but that doesn't mean a majority of people from those identity groups in general are abolitionists at all. The white leftie abolitionists...mostly aren't actually abolitionists in practice from all that I've seen. Give them a roommate who doesn't pay the bills and has a mental health episode and they'll wield the tools of the state just as readily as anybody.

And that kinda brings me to one of my questions. Has calling the cops worked for you when you have had to deal with a home invasion, robbery, attack, etc? I just mentioned this in another post, but in my case *threatening* to call the cops has helped sometimes. The existence of the police state as a threat did help keep my stalker from going further when he broke into my apartment. But when a person (especially a person in a non-wealthy, majority-nonwhite area) calls the cops, how often do they show up soon enough to be helpful? How often do they confuse the attacker and the victim? How often do they blame the victim and refuse to file a report? How often do they attack or kill the wrong person? How often does their presence escalate things and cause people to panic, causing more violence?

I'm not trying to be a little shit here, I know that the answer is not "100% of the time". Sometimes, in the present world, a person is overpowered and in danger and they have no support network around them and they call the cops and the sirens or the sight of big dudes with guns scares their attacker away. I have, once or twice, witnessed some version of that too. It didn't do anything to get the victim away from their abuser or prevent harm from happening in the long term, but it did cause people to scatter.

Of course the long term abolitionist answer is that we need community networks of support to keep one another safe, to prevent crimes motivated by need, to deescalate conflict, and maybe even to secure justice and safety by scaring abusers and rapists etc off. In the absence of those things formally existing, I think we should all do what we can to build those networks of support in our communities, and thinking about how we can address problems without using the police. I wrote about some examples of that I witnessed and lived through here:

I don't think there are many great options right now if a person is attacked. I know that I minimize my involvement with the police as much as I humanly can. Again, only you can decide for yourself what you believe, what you can do, what you need, what you think is right.

[glitter-stained]

I've seen many people point out that canon members of the Batfam would hate their fanon counterpart (rightfully), I would like to highlight that fanon Bruce would deck canon Bruce upon five minutes of meeting him

Literally the reason why comics fan who actually read the comics and people who were starting to get into the comics feel intimidated/disgusted/ are either taking a break or straight up giving up on canon recently is how exhausting it is to see him behave like an abusive piece of shit and the narrative go "um actually he was right ☝️" or "yeah they were both at fault here but don't worry they hug it out". ( Between that, the intense victim-blaming and the classist/racist/sexist/ableist narratives, I understand the fatigue, you can only eat so much shit in the hopes of finding chocolate before you give up on the cake.)

Anyway, canon and fanon Bruce meeting:

Fanon Bruce: yeah, I do wish Jason wouldn't kill people in Gotham... I let him get away with more, I know I'm being soft on him compared to the others because he's my baby and I'm afraid to lose him again, but I wish he would stop...

Canon Bruce: have you tried beating him into a coma?

Fanon Bruce: what?

Canon Bruce (half-possessed by the entity he himself created): if it doesn't work, you could install a failsafe in his dna that gives him a a paralyzing panic attack when his adrenaline spikes!

Fanon Bruce: ...did you torture and murder your son ? how the fuck is the kid still alive at that point

*****

Fanon Bruce: I don't know what to get Tim for his 16th birthday... Maybe a camera? And some kind of expensive coffee blend, he'd like that...

Canon Bruce: Tim doesn't drink coffee

Fanon Bruce : Oh really? What should I get him then?

Canon Bruce: I have a suggestion.

*****

Canon Bruce: yes, honestly Cassandra not having a legal identity does have its advantages...

Fanon Bruce : *sighs and opens the batcomputer*

*****

Canon Bruce: yeah, everyone was mad at Dick after I convinced him to fake his death to go undercover in Spyral... He was a bit unruly but we sparred it out, thankfully I could beat the stubbornness out of him. ^^ I'm also very glad I got Duke to give up on that silly Lark idea and told him to become Signal! The last thing the world needs is another reckless Robin who gets himself killed like Jason and Stephanie did.

Fanon Bruce : r/AskReddit: Is it murder if I kill my evil counterpart and kidnap his children? I have a no-kill rule but I never considered it to apply to suicide, I'm hoping there's a loophole there.