#Anyways this is the last character focused set. Last ones are just alternative outfits now which is just Jills 3 alts and cowboy rebecca

[crimescrimson]

Albert Wesker in Resident Evil Remastered (2002)

[subzeroparade]

Hello! I really liked the clothes you designed for Laurence in the last artwork. I was wondering if it's just an alternative design to the usual one or if it's how you'll draw him from now on. Is it maybe something he wore before he started wearing the choir clothes?

Thank you anon (・‧̫・) Also you made the mistake of asking me about fashion, so - *inhales*

I’ve drawn Laurence in version(s) of the Choir garb before (you'll notice I change his sleeves a lot lol), but I normally almost never draw characters in the same outfits all the time, even if they are canon - just by virtue of being bored of it, and wanting to invent. 

The one you’re referencing was early Church, in my timeline - there’s two similar ones that I’ve more or less described in fic that are simpler, and closer to typically clerical/in-game Church garb. One of the first scenes in The Feast We Were Promised (which deals mostly with early Church timeline) is Laurence changing from the weighty, jewelled chasuble he wears in the context of ministration/communion in the Grand Cathedral into a modest black cassock to return to the Chapel of the Good Chalice down in the poorer quarters of old Yharnam. There is a certain canny strategy for the Church to remain humble in what they wear, if only to imply a sort of modesty and separation from the main religious powers of the time - there’s an established church, in this timeline, with all its pomp and splendour (because sects don’t just spring up in a religious vacuum).

I think that changes with the founding of the Choir, and the domination of the Healing Church as the main religious organisation over time, consolidating its power on the reputation of the blood. I think the Choir garb feels like a kind of mix between clerical clothes and Byrgenwerth-style robes (this should not be surprising - Willem’s imagery in his chair is very papal). This reflects the Church’s eventual takeover of Byrgenwerth, and how the Choir is established - which is to say an "order", or faction of the Church only in name, but solely focused on using the Church’s resources to attain ascension/communion. I like to imagine that Laurence would wear a different variation of the Choir garb at the height of his power, to distinguish himself - incorporating some of these more traditional liturgical symbols, since he retains the title of vicar. 

On the other side of the Church’s heyday, I think the more things get out of hand, the more ostentatious their dress - a sort of visual power, if you will, that negates what is happening in the streets with the coming scourge. A veneer of material splendour to mask the reality - a show of control, and mastery, even as the Church is impotent in the face of what's happening. In that sense I’d imagine Laurence wearing really ornate chasubles, or the kind of stunning cope that Lenny wears (minus the hat) in the Sistine Chapel scene in The Young Pope (which I am a big fan of). To bring it back to your first question, that white and black ensemble is a play on both real ecclesiastical garb but also specifically Lenny’s wardrobe, and his countenance when he wears it. (The costume designer, Carlo Poggioli, did a spectacular job working from the existing pieces in the Vatican museum). The red shoes in that final design above are a bit of a joke - the pope actually wears red shoes in real life, but the version on set are Louboutins and were nicknamed by Poggioli “the Ferraris” (extra inside joke - my Laurence has partly Corsican roots for obvious parallels with another historical tyrant).  

As for Ludwig, I almost always give him a different outfit - even in plainclothes - but I like the idea that he only starts wearing that pseudo-Executioner’s garb after the Cainhurst massacre (in my timeline, anyway). I always try to add a little element of armour to his clothing and to distinguish him from both the clergy and other Church-affiliated folk, be they Prospectors or Hunters. Beyond actual historical sources, I’m obsessed with Jany Temime’s work in House of the Dragon, and so you’ll find traces of the Kingsguard armour in Ludwig’s overall look, but without making it too medieval. 

I also have a headcanon (developed alongside some mutuals) that the blindfold part of the Choir cap is a very late introduction, during the scourge. In my work Laurence’s disdain for Willem’s dumbfuck pope hat is evident, and so there’s none of that shutting-your-eyes-to-the-world stuff - until most everyone’s eyes, including his, start to change by way of the scourge. 

Anyway tldr I like playing dress-up with them. 

[hearthandhomemagick]

Cottage Witch Journal Entry - Post Yule & Christmas

Okay, so far this forum of mine has discussed some very off the wall topics that invade my head throughout the day. Some very self destructive thoughts, and some self awareness thoughts. Thoughts on religion, video games, spirituality. Hell, I may even choose to discuss sexual exploration in the future. Who knows? All I know is that after looking back at some of my posts, I’m starting to realize how chaotic one individuals thoughts can be. How genuinely complex a humans life and mind can truly be. 

Think about it, if you’ve read my posts in the past, regarding witchcraft, self care, self love, eating awareness, hyperawareness, overthinking, and so on and so forth, then you would think you’d be able to point me out in a crowd. 

The truth is, you wouldn’t. A great deal of my writing is simply the regurgitation of my persistent, sometimes unrelenting, thoughts. I’m noticing the complexities of humanity, and it’s beautiful and tragic all at once.

Last time we spoke, I discussed in a mini post that Judy Alvarez was mine for the taking a staple of independence and power to me and that getting my power back was of high priority to me. It’s been a few days, but this still remains a significant thought in my head. I find myself becoming more and more enthralled by her character and persona, drawn into why I relate to her as much as I do. Then, I noticed the underwater life she loves so much, and am reminded of the blue jellyfish behind my left ear. I see her whale tattoo and think of the same one I have under my left boob. I think of how I wanted to shave the right side of my head similar to Judy’s hair back in High School and my mom telling me it wouldn’t look good. And finally, I think of her selflessness, and her need to help a traumatized soul, and how I used to be a Sexual Violence Outreach Advocate, just trying to help a traumatized soul. I relate to her in more ways than one, as silly and stupid as it sounds, and these may be extremely minute to notice, but important for me. 

My boyfriend and I had a few conversations this weekend, all separate times, that really pinned me to myself. One conversation, he asked me what exactly I believed, in that moment, when it came to religion and spirituality. From there we got into a lengthy discussion (mostly my fault) where I explained my thoughts in detail. One quote I said stood out (I was also stoned so when I said it, it came out as a surprise to me as well), for I digress from the want to overexplain myself. 

As I told my boyfriend, Hyperawareness will destroy a man before it enlightens him. And this year, Hyperawareness seemed to be the proprietor of my mind, for it most definitely would have destroyed me had I continued.

Another conversation we had, which we both agreed to, was the power of our physical bodies directly correlating to past experiences we’ve had with other humans. Also, our relationship with unsustainable lifestyles.

Example, my body issues are founded on the idea that I wasn’t allowed to be a tomboy and play sports or take karate or MMA Fighting classes, but I also wasn’t perceived as delicate and pretty because of my weight/I was bigger than other girls. I was discouraged from doing the physical things I was interested in, and gave up as a result.

Those experiences have perpetuated in many areas of my life as well. In High School, I chose Shop as my number one elective and Weight Training as my second. They chose to put me in Theatre and Intensive Reading instead (Intensive Reading is a class kids take when they make below average on state wide tests). Now, my first choices were classes I felt would develop my character and reflect the life I wanted to live, and I was told it was a bit manly for me to choose those classes. Now, as an adult, I don’t go out of my way to work on mechanics, even though it’s an interest of mine and I haven’t done weight lifting because I thought I’d look like a man. False ideas.

When you are denied your own personality as a child, and don’t realize that is what is happening because it is still happening, it becomes a spiral of what options do you actually have? You become an open book for others influences to freely write in, because you want to be your own independent self but you don’t even know who or how that person is. So, for a while when I got out of High School I was clinging to others personalities in an attempt to find myself. That’s not a good way of doing it, either. 

I lived to please, so when people called me Sunshine, I figured the Sun didn’t wear a lot of black and didn’t act like a man. 

Reality check, I was overthinking it.

I should dress and live how I see fit, regardless of the typical aesthetic. Fuck the idea that I have to subscribe to one aesthetic anyways. If I want to own a Bee Hive, a Cottage in the Mountains by the river with a tiny self sustaining garden, all while wearing black alternative outfits that somewhat line the aesthetic of post apocalyptical,  then fuck yes I’m going to be a gentle, bright, motorcycle loving, knife wielding, MMA Fighting, Yoga and Meditation doing, soft spoken bad bitch. 

Here’s the thing, I haven’t even bought myself clothes this year, because people were literally buying clothes for me. WHICH I AM EXTREMELY GRATEFUL FOR!!!! But, over the weekend I got rid of a lot of those clothes because they restrict my personality, I never wear them or they don’t fit anymore.

After the lengthy conversations, we both agreed that our youthful selves are not finished being fully alive. We didn’t stop being young once we got out of High School, we stopped being young when we started saying we were too old. So, we are starting to set goals together. Getting rid of old clothes was the first step, and we took into consideration that we are still individuals just helping each other accomplish a common goal, so the next step is our physical selves. 

The plan is to clean out our storage room and transform it into a self-care/training area. Together, we will start the P90X after work on some days, while I try to keep up with yoga on my off days. This month, being aware of what I eat without the focus of losing weight has helped me actually lose weight. Now, focusing on my workout regime is the goal. Not to lose weight, but to be able to start MMA Fighting Classes. 

MMA Fighting is something I started in High School right before going to college, but never finished. It’s something I want to commit to so as to release anger while Yoga will help me process my anger. So, healthy eating to support energy, and healthy workouts! I have also been having more endometriosis pain than usual, so avoiding my health won’t help me!

Spiritual wise, I want to focus on my better self. I want to put more effort into me rather than letting myself go in a world of people who don’t care if my personality exists or not. I want to be open, strong and powerful in what I believe. I want to own my shit, and fuck anyone who wants to stop that type of Sunshine. In the words of Meghan Thee Stallion, “Fuck being good, I’m a bad bitch. I’m sick of motherfuckers tryna tell me how to live.”

I’m inconvenient, and I’m happy with that. I’m not perfect, but I’m a process. I’m not weak and quiet, I’m strong and silent. 

This specific post is a reclamation of my power. Somewhere along the road of this shitty adult life, I forgot the beauty in my own power. I’m equal, not less than.

Thank you for reading, if you did. This is, again, one of those things where I am journaling my thoughts, and trying to go over everything in my head without going crazy. If you thought this was annoying, just remember I deleted 5 paragraphs before posting, because I was overthinking and didn’t want to overexplain. (I do everything in copious quantities). If it bothered you, look past my post. If you related, let’s talk about it. All in all, thank you for being alive, darling. I’ll see you later!

[kareofbears]

persona 5 royal: my thoughts after finishing it five minutes ago

disclaimer: the only reason im writing this is because 1) i have a lot of thoughts and feelings that i need to write down and if i dont ill explode and 2) i want to be able to find this when p5s eventually drops so i can compare my thought processes. if you do not agree with what i’m going to say, that’s cool! just block me or ignore this post. 

now for the sake of sanity, i’m going to try and narrow down this entire list into chunks because this’ll probably be very very long and very much about me just screaming about stuff that i liked, loved, and don’t like. i will be spoiling both the original persona 5 and persona 5 royal, obviously, so i hope you finished both!

1) Akechi

so yes. Goro Akechi. Everyone’s favorite murderer. I’m going to by spewing a lot of hot takes, and this is probably going to be the spiciest: i am in the most intense love-hate relationship with this brown haired antagonist because jesus christ is he a complicated son of a bitch. I know i’ve complained in the past about how much Atlus often struggles with utilizing a character well, but that does not at all relate to Akechi in any way, shape, or form. 

I’ll say this now: He is a character I genuinely, truly hate, yet he is the one I want to hear from the most. He is someone who is a bad person (yes, he is a bad person) but whenever he comes on screen he makes me sit up, he makes me pay attention to him because that’s just the aura he exudes. He is a character who i would never, ever waste my time defending or justifying his actions, but every minute joker spends with him is a minute i want to stretch out as long as possible because he is just that good of a character. He is interesting, he is well defined, he is smart, he is clever, he is sassy, he’s a motherfucking asshole who’s never had a vibe check in my life and i still hate him. Goro Akechi is what Star Wars wanted Kylo Ren to be, and that allegory may not make sense to many people but it works for me so i’m saying it. It’s to the point where writing akechi in a fanfic makes me sweat because in my opinon capturing the essence of akechi is near impossible unless you know what you are talking about (i do not mean that in anyway to discourage people from writing him, im just saying that I am a coward because i will never be able to write a good akechi). Anyway, bottom line is: i despise him but my eyes are always glued to him at all times.

back to the main point-- Atlus absolutely nailed this character and every single addition they put in for Akechi. I’m so damn thrilled that you actually have confidant hangouts with him because every single time you talk to him, it services not only the plot, but it perfectly does what it is supposed to do: it makes you like him, but also leaves the player slightly unnerved. they do it so casually that I might have trouble explaining it, but bear with me: everytime you hangout with him, he always does or say something that unhinges you just a little bit, it leaves you asking ‘wait why?’ or ‘but how did you know that’ or ‘why are you saying that?’. akechi is constantly playing mind games with you. and not only that, adding backstory to akechi (moreso than in the original) is just fucking fantastic. he’s always been a fully fleshed out character but after playing royal, goro akechi actually exists in my mind, and i still hate him (but also i dont. but also i do. anyway)

2) the ending

just finished the game and this is the point where i am at odds with p5r for the first time. the ending to p5, in my opinion, was flawless; everything was perfect and had meaning. from the shot of akira being shown to not wearing glasses anymore because he no longer feels the need to wear a mask (character development: he was very unhappy at the beginning of the game and now he’s happy with his friends--i love it), to his friends being the one to drive him home (amazing, he left his home town and came to shibuya alone via transit, and one year later he’s now leaving with all of his best friends in a van they rented just so they could stay with him as long as they can--it’s perfect, i love it), and also all of them seeing how large and infinite the ocean is (because now there’s unlimited options for them because they all have a new perspective on life). 

But....none of that is there in p5r. it feels impersonal. no one drops him off at his hometown, he was still wearing glasses, and there’s no grand metaphor about what they all achieved. 

Now, i am not a (complete) moron. I know why they had to change it: it’s because of persona 5 scramble (i think). they wanted to set up a plot for the next game and i feel like thats the reason why persona 5 royal’s ending suffered for it: they were too focused on the next plot that they forgot to focus on the sentimental ending for p5r. don’t get me wrong, seeing akechi in the train station absolutely made me lose my shit and made me scream at one in the morning, but i think they lost the core meaning in doing the other stuff. i did not like the focus on maruki and kasumi (will be talking about them later), cause i feel like it took away from the ending, and i also didn’t like the fact that the whole joker outfit in the reflection thing (but i will be letting it slide since it was during the after credits anyway). So while i do love one (1) new aspect of the final cut scene, i still adore and stan the one from persona 5. 

3) the entire last semester 

i’ll be quick: the final palace? the best palace. fight me. it’s fantastic, it’s innovative, it’s interesting, and most of all, the palace ruler is actually the best one in the entire game and i know i wont be the only one to say this. maruki is not a villain: i know for a godamn fact that im not the only one to say that i almost agreed with his deal of allowing the reality (damn i almost agreed twice) because why wouldnt you?? it’s literally a perfect reality! the only reason i didnt agree is because i knew the game wouldnt want me to agree and would force me to have the bad ending! anyway, i love the last section so much. the palace design is interesting, the antagonist is brilliant (who doesn’t love a morally gray antagonist?), and finally, the payoff of kasumi happened and it made me silent for ten minutes. the entire reveal of her being sumire and kasumi being dead is just so genuinely shocking to me that it nearly broke my neck.

what actually broke my neck was the initial incident for the third semester. seeing everyone in this wild alternate reality made me so unsettled that i literally got a stomach ache. i saw morgana as a human and nearly passed out. shiho in the underground? wig. ryuji saying he’s on the national pedastal for running? literally my eyebrows just popped off my head. fucking WAKABA? FLATLINED. brilliantly executed and i love the initial akechi and akira buddy cop movie vibes in the beginning it was just so fun. 

one huge part of the third semester for me though, was of course, akechi. seeing him completely throw away his ‘charming ace detective’ speil was the most refreshing and interesting and not to mention, hilarious part of the game. he does not give a fuck about anyone and he is not afraid to let you know. he is the biggest savage and the most insane person on the phantom thieves group. he’ll roast you, he’ll roast your boyfriend, he’ll roast fuckin anyone and it’s fantastic. not to mention his dialogue is killer: he says the most bat shit insults ever and my favorite example is when you go up to him near the end of the game, you know, to hangout with him and be a nice guy, he just does not hesitate to say ‘what, you came just to see me? just the sort of brainless sentimentality i’d expect from you.’ i LOVE IT because why the hell would he try to be nice? the jig is up, he’s got nothing to hide. and he owns it. atlus seriously nailed akechi in this last semester and it’s brilliant and i love it.

4) everything else 

- one small thing that pissed me off in both games (but especially this one) is how many godamn fake out deaths there are. Morgana has one, Akira has one, Ryuji has one, Sojiro has one, Maruki has one, motherfucking Akechi has two. it just hurts me!

- sumire is an amazing character who has depth and she is lovely and my biggest complaint is that it feels like atlus shoved her in. like, she feels like a new addition to the game, you know what  i mean? maybe its because ive played the original p5 first, but you know, it’s not a big deal. but i love her so much

- on the topic of sumire, i cant say that im completely super duper happy with how different she felt from the other thieves? im sure that’ll be explained in p5s but she just got so much screen time that it just truly made me confused?? maybe im just a horrible person, or that’s just a really hot take. but anyway, yeah maybe im bitter because i really wanted to see extra hangouts/school trips during royal, but didn’t really.

-baton pass? literally orgasmic. it made turn base battles so damn fun and the addition of darts and billiards made me foam at the mouth it was SO SMART AND INNOVATIVE AND I LOVE IT ATLUS I LOVE YOU ATLUS YOURE SO SMART SWEETIE

-small thing, but making spells like ‘dormina’ actually useful just made the game so much more fun and dungeon crawling became something i truly, genuinely looked forward to

-being able to give gifts to my bros? absolutely incredible. thank you. side note: seeing akechi happy from giving him a multi vitamin cracked me up. side side note: giving ryuji a fuck ton of weights and him just smiling made my heart so happy i love that boy so much

- ah this game just looked so GOOD! i thought the original looked good but they really went all out. im not kidding, the smallest details in everyday life or even just normal cut scenes were out of this world. especially stuff from the third semester its just OOF good JOB atlus i love you buddy

-ahhh thieves den! how can i forget? i love it. at first i was a bit iffy with it since it really felt like persona 5 (undoubtedly the biggest game atlus has created) was just jacking itself off. but as time goes on, it became a huge addition to the game and seeing characters’ insights and extra lines of dialogue became super duper interesting and a highlight of the game for me. and don’t even get me started on how much i love love love the photos they added of them hanging out! so lovely, a bunch of them made me tear up

- i know it’s literally impossible, but i feel like the game just forgot that akechi is a person who can wield multiple persona and i just wish that could’ve been messed around with during Palaces

- showtimes are so, so crazy and i get so embarassed whenever they play on my tv because they are just outlandish and unashamed but i love them so so much it just defines persona’s personality 

-because i love ryuji: i prefer the final conversation you have with him aka ‘whaddya mean? you’re there’ but there’s still a lot of really tender and sweet moments like akira genuinely telling him that he’ll miss him, and also the fact that ryuji wants you both to send each other your times through the exercise watch so you can still race ahhhh i love him so much yall

so, overall, this game is better than the original p5 because of the extra content we get. if persona 5 was the perfect dinner, persona 5 royal is that same dinner and you get to enter the dessert buffet. it’s brilliant, it’s smart, it’s hilarious, it’s heartwarming, and it’s undoubtedly my favorite game of all time without exaggeration. while i do prefer the final cut scene (and final dialogues with some characters) in the original persona 5, in the overall experience, persona 5 royal is superior in my mind. i would willingly get amnesia to play this game again. 

I didn’t get to cover everything, but this is definitely most of what i wanted to say. if you actually get to reading all the way to the end, thanks! it means a lot. i hope we can all enjoy persona and look forward to persona 5 scramble together :-)

[twatd]

Once Again

We return. WicDiv is in the final stretch, and so is TWATD. The first of our two essays on #44, focusing on the issue’s echoes and callbacks. Spoilers – like oh so many spoilers – below the cut.

Alex: Remember issue #14 of The Wicked + The Divine? The Woden remix issue? I reckon, with a bit of ingenuity, you could use the same method – cutting up panels from elsewhere in the series, pasting them in new contexts – to make a fan edit of #44, front to back.

The issue is crammed tight with echoes of old images. It put me in mind of Avengers: Endgame, the way it’s constantly calling back to moments from the past twenty-one movies, and the criticism of that tendency as ‘fan service’.

In WicDiv, this echoing feels inevitable. The series has always had its repeating motifs. Going  back to the very first issue, we get a whole host of phrases we’ll be seeing over and over: “Once again, we return.” 1-2-3-4. “I’ll miss you.” “Don’t.” Kllk. And images, too – from that very first cover, with its carefully-framed headshot echoed on the first page inside, something the first arc plays with again and again.

But what is the purpose of it, other than reminding us of something we’ve seen and loved in the past?

To answer that, let’s look at some specific examples – beginning, as the issue does, with Lucifer. From the very first panel of her, stood in a variation on her classic power pose, Luci is pretty much playing the Greatest Hits here. She lights a cigarette on her own inferno, holding a familiar eyebrow-cocked expression. She teases a finger-click, taking us back to the courtroom. Her threat of violence to Laura, framed side-on, recalls Lucifer’s murder in issue #5, and Ananke’s millennia of practice for that moment as seen in #36.

Lucifer wraps herself in motifs and echoes possibly more than any other character this issue, and it feels like armour. She’s the one member of the Pantheon clinging on to the lie of godhood, playing her role because it protects her from the consequences of what she’s done. She’s perpetuating Ananke’s cycle, and so she reaches for the easy iconograpy, the tropes, of the Lucifer myth.

It’s worth noting that most of these images are inverted. In that last example, Lucifer stays on the same side of the panel, but switches her role, from victim to the position of power. Even the colours of her outfit are flipped – white to black, blue to red – and her pose too, with arms up rather than down. Tim is going to be exploring the Two Girls in Hell sequence in his essay, so I won’t go too deep on that, except to point out that when Laura saves Luci, it’s by taking Ananke’s “I’ve missed you” and making it sincere.

#44 does this over and over, taking a familiar motif and inverting the meaning. We’ve heard a lot of variations on “it’s okay”. Minerva, begging Ananke to tell her it’s going to be okay, a conversation we’ve likely all had with ourselves at some point. Its answer at the end of that arc, laid out in black and white: “It was never going to be okay.”

Here, it’s Dionysus who wields the phrase, and for the first time “it’s okay” isn’t a lie. Dio isn’t pretending that death won’t come for us all, or that Minerva’s situation is anything less than fucked. Instead, he’s encouraging her not to fear the inevitable. He isn’t offering denial, but acceptance.

Then there’s the other character interaction Minerva has this issue, which inverts something familiar in a much uglier way – her relationship with Baal. Time and time again, we’ve seen Baal wrap his arms around Minerva’s tiny frame. It’s indicative of the role he thought he played in her life, somewhere between bigger brother and father figure, but he now knows this was just a way of manipulating him.

In #44, Baal takes Minerva in his arms one last time, with very different intent. That big hand, able to cup her entire head, used to comfort or protect her, is used instead to smother. That tight embrace becomes a murder weapon. The contrast turns what could be a triumphant moment – this is the defeat of WicDiv’s big bad, after all – into an unsettling one.

Of course, it wasn’t much better the last time WicDiv’s big bad got taken out, as #44 is ready to remind us. The issues it draws from more than any other are the series’ first, and its midpoint. #22 and #44 are both stories about what happens when you beat the minions and get to the dark lord in their tower to find them helpless.

Here the repeated image – Laura with arm outstretched weighing up whether to kill the villain – acts as a kind of mental hyperlink. We’ve been here before. Twice before, in fact, just a couple of issues apart. (The second also introduced the idea of Woden’s kill-switch video release, which is vitally important to where this issue ends up.)

Both times, Laura hesitated – and then acted anyway. Our expectations are primed for the same thing to happen again. But, as any comedian will tell you, you set up pattern on the first and the second beat, then break it on the third.

This time, Laura hesitates – and is talked down. We see how much she’s grown as a character, because she’s put in the exact same situation, right down to the composition of the image and the people around her – Cassandra always hovers over her shoulder like a goth Jiminy Cricket – but the outcome is different.

I’ve mentioned fan service already, but there’s an alternative term I’ve been skirting around: payoff. A good final chapter (depending on how you view the epilogue) should bring together the threads of the story up to that point. That’s as true of WicDiv as it is of Endgame, as it is of a Dickens novel.

I do still worry about accessibility – how much of this comes across if you’ve only read each issue once, like a normal person – but maybe that’s not giving enough credit to the fantastic work of Jamie McKelvie + Matt Wilson making these images so immediately iconic, so mentally sticky, that you can recognise their vague outline five years later. As Tim suggested when I raised this question, these connections are likely kicking around in the subconscious of a more casual reader, even if they couldn’t put together the full serial-killer wall I’m making here.

There’s another thing, too. The fact that all these echoes are backing up feels indicative of what Laura is trying to do: breaking the cycle. Ananke’s six millennia-long plan is in its death throes, and this is one final twitch. Over and over, the issue shows that while the circumstances and tools might be the same, intent can change the meaning and outcome.

I suspect we’ll be free of echoes next issue, for the first time. I wonder if I’ll miss them.

Enjoyed this essay? You’ve got like 24 more hours to throw a bit of cash our way over at patreon.com/timplusalex, before we close down the Patreon in August. Think of it as a going-away present. Or a tip.

[secretgamergirl]

Let’s talk about how Ranma is trans, part 4

Continued from Part 3

So, the previous batch of volumes brought us the last word anyone should need that Ranma is trans:

But for formality’s sake, let’s see what the final 8 volumes have to show us, you know, as a victory lap. Volume 31 starts off with her going head to head with a couple sexual-assault-happy scumbags, in solidarity with the other girls they’re targeting:

... OK I could have sworn Herb was the last curse victim. I forgot about Spring of Drowned Ashura in Volume 32 here. Yeah, that Ashura. And yeah, there’s that other bit coming up but I’m just being spoiler conscious with that. Anyway, Pantyhose Taro shows up again, still with the awful slurs. And the back half of this volume involves Akane with a magical power up suit which loses its power if the wearer falls for a member of the opposite gender. So, Ranma, actually being a girl and all, has to find an alternate way of getting rid of it. I mean, she doesn’t HAVE to, but, compulsive competitiveness and all.

Volume 33 then IMMEDIATELY follows this failed effort at inspiring romantic feelings in Ranma’s fiance by pretending to be a guy with... a pity seduction of some random stranger to try and get him to take some life-saving medicine:

And yeah, that’s Ranma getting roofied at the bottom of the page. She wakes up in his bed on the next page. Thankfully the implication seems to be that she comes to before this turns into full on date rape, but, wow, that’s a hell of a place to take things in a wacky comedy series. This volume also has a little more keeping things secret from Nodoka, but, we’ll get closure there eventually.

By the way, this has nothing at all to do with my point, but I really hate how often in the later volumes of the series we just kinda have “all the other girls who are attracted to Ranma” as this cohesive lump:

Volume 34 has Ranma gloating about how her breasts are still growing. You know, as a cis boy who totally is not a girl and is just under a horrible curse would do:

That’s not some one-off gag by the way, it kicks off a whole arc. Nodoka takes her out shopping for a new bra (which she gets into, but again, trying to avoid nudity in these scans). An arc that advances the plot, at that:

Just a happy slapstick comedy about a conservative mother trying to murder her daughter when she realizes she’s trans.

Then in Volume 35. the ghost of a woman trapped in a mirror becomes Ranma’s twin, and starts ruining her reputation by just desperately chasing after every guy in sight. So naturally, Ranma takes the only sensible action. She gets matching outfits for the two of them to go out cruising for guys, and show her how to pick them up without coming off as desperate.

We also have another arc where some random girl shows up, proves to have a massive crush on Ukyo, then turns out to be trans.

Ukyo being the one morally decent character in the series, and being all about solidarity with her trans sisters, offers her a job at her restaurant, letting her get away from her abusive family and get to know her better. It’s left a little ambiguous if they actually start dating, but either way, Ukyo is great. Be more like Ukyo.

I’m going to have a lot to say with Volume 36, I’m sure, but can I just start off with how getting a bathing suit that says “BRAND NEW” across your breasts is a very trans girl thing to do?

By the way, there’s another beach trip 2 chapters later with a new suit. She seriously never wears the same one twice. The main bulk of this volume though is about Ranma getting sick of lying to his mother and revealing the whole curse thing to her. Genma makes it hard because, you know, he also dies as part of their screwy deal. Realistically not actually wanting to chop her own child’s head off, she rationalizes things so she doesn’t have to:

But that isn’t really the happy ending it looks like. I mean, yeah, sure, she’s not going to hold the super femme body against her so long as she “acts manly” to her satisfaction, but from here on out she polices the hell out of her gender expression:

Gotta date girls! Lots of girls! No guys! Gotta only wear manly clothes! No showing any emotions! Butch it up! Naturally, she rejects this and expresses her true self every chance she gets though.

And Volume 37 kicks right off with a big fight focused arc. There’s bird people, they’re trying to destroy the cursed springs, and also do some random kidnapping, ensuring our characters, you know, care. Honestly it’s a little weird that this series canonically spans several years, and none of these people ever tried going back to the springs to find the one that’d effectively decurse them. I mean, yeah it makes sense that Ranma wouldn’t, and Ryoga can’t find anything, but... OK it’s weird that Mousse never bothered. Anyway, this one’s all fighting and travel montages. The springs totally do get destroyed too. Ranma doesn’t really seem broken up about it obviously. This continues into Volume 38, where at one point, Ranma has the ability to restore the status quo, and from there, get uncursed, but... she irrevocably destroys it instead. Partially to save Akane from... a really convoluted thing I don’t want to get into, but also because she’s finally at the point where she’s willing to admit she’s trans, out loud, to other people:

Damn. I didn’t actually think there was anything in here that was going to top that panel from part 3, but there it is. Oh and it turns out the springs are fine again after this, but mostly just to set up a final gag. Specifically, the guide to the springs sends everyone a barrel of Spring of Drowned Man water as a thank you for this whole 2 volume arc, which Soun uses to bribe Akane into marrying Ranma already... I ASSUME by promising to give it to Ranma to lock her in boy mode, but I’m sure there’s plenty of fanfic authors who figure that’s for Akane to dunk in herself, properly wear the pants in that relationship. Speaking of, seriously, she should be the one in the tux. I mean, Ranma clearly has my back on this herself:

Ultimately though, nobody gets the water and the wedding is called off, both due to the fact that the whole cast is invited, and like I keep saying, these people are all huge jerks. So, everything gets trashed in a big chaotic fight, they say they’ll maybe try again once all this drama is resolved, and that’s it. That’s the end of the series.

That’s also the end of THIS series. Probably. I could also analyze the anime series, which diverges in places, and the weird OAV follow-ups with the distressingly wasp-waisted character designs. For now though, I leave you with this.

And of course, this reminder: If you read this series, and found yourself wondering, like I did, “how is that a curse!?” That’s you realizing your trans. And while there is no real cursed spring you can jump in to get a body like Ranma’s, there IS HRT. Which really does have the same effect. It just takes a bit longer to manifest. It also doesn’t revert when you take a hot shower.

[lycorogue]

Meet My OCs: Willow (Part 4 – Images)

We've made it to the home stretch! This post should be a lot more fun, though, because you get to literally see Willow! I shared some images here and there throughout this mini-series about Willow, but the vast majority of my images of her will be below. 

Before I continue, how about another quick recap of my Meet My OCs series thus far?

I started up this multi-post series almost exactly a month ago. I had wanted to do something like this for MONTHS, and I'm finally getting my lazy butt in gear. This way, you guys get a chance to learn about these vocal people that have been hanging out in my head for years.

In Part 1 of this series, I introduced the concept, as well as explained the real-world influences that helped me create my two story worlds of Gyateara and Glitches.

Part 2 of the series talked about the inspiration that birthed each of my four main Gyateara characters.

Part 3a did the same, but for my four main teenage Glitches characters.

Part 3b then talked about the Glitches main supportive cast of six adult characters; each one originating as a canonical X-Men character.

Today is Part 4 Day; the official start of the individualized characters' bio posts. I couldn't think of anyone better to start off the next part of the series than my most present character: Willow Driver.

In Meet Willow: Part 1, I shared Willow's background, gave an overview of her personally, and talked about her powers.

Meet Willow: Part 2 focused on her main relationships.

The epic post that made up Meet Willow: Part 3 told her plot line/story arc main events within the play-by-post game X-Future that Willow originated in. The end of the post also discussed which of those main plot events will find their way to my original story Glitches.

Next up, I’ll have a few writing samples to showcase Willow, and I’ll conclude today’s massive series of posts with two customized wrestler entrances I created on Hubby’s WWE13 game. So.. just two more to look out for! 0_0

All caught up? Great! So let's get to the fun of Willow's Multi-media presence. Starting with some more fun art of her.

I know I already shared this in Meet Willow: Part 1, but I love this image of Willow so much I'm going to show it off whenever possible.

Prior to commissioning @edendaphne to draw me the gorgeous above photo, I had some other hand-drawn artwork of Willow. For two different birthdays, @chibisunnie included the X-Future core group for personalized cards she drew me.

Check out the full-quality image on her DeviantArt

Hubby and I routinely pointed out the almost perfect parallels between the “Girl Meets World” characters Lucas, Maya, and Riley and our X-Future characters Chayse, Willow, and Lia, respectively. So Chibi went ahead and drew Chayse, Willow, and Lia as Lucas, Maya, and Riley all hanging out in Riley's bay window.

Check out the full-quality image on her DeviantArt

Last birthday, I wanted Chibi to have my X-Future characters interacting with her Team Giraffe Guy characters. Willow is dancing with her OC Todd, Trish is giving her OC Zahir a mini-heart attack, and Lia is chilling with her OC Bob the Pumpkin Cat from her other original story The Pumpkin Prince.

I still absolutely love how energetic Willow looks in both of these images, and I think Chibi really captured who she is. <3

Prior to the commissioned piece by Eden, or the two works of fanart as birthday cards drawn for me by Chibi, I used doll makers to help me visualize Willow.

My first incarnation of Willow was thanks to a hodge-podge of items designed by ChaZie for her Dollz over on Dollz Mania. (anyone else remember these being huge in the early 2000s?) You see, ChaZie designed easily a hundred different Dollz creators/designers, each of them with their own themes: Halloween, fantasy, fairies, Scene, Kardashians, Lady Gaga, Valentine's Day, etc. Back in 2012, I had spent WEEKS saving nearly every element of nearly every doll designer ChaZie created. I gathered them all into one MASSIVE Photoshop file with nearly all of ChaZie's doll bases, hair, clothing, accessories, pets, etc. That way I wasn't restricted by the designer theme groupings ChaZie created; I could take hair from Lady Gaga, put it with a Halloween costume, and throw on some fairy wings. Using this method of Frankensteining ChaZie's designs, I created a large portion of the early X-Future cast. One of the firsts was, obviously, Willow, shown here in her first X-Men uniform design.

Sorry for the quality. My computer crashed about 3yrs ago, and I lost that ChaZie dollz design master file, so all of the ChaZie design dolls I showcase will be downloads of my posting the images online.

Anyway, once Sebastian was introduced into the X-Future canon, I decided to re-design Willow to see how she might look in the future. So, here is Mama Willow with newborn baby Sebastian, as well as Adult Willow in a much more traditional X-Men uniform as she took on the mantle of one of the Great Protectors.

Finally, a picture of Willow in street clothes while with her brother Shawn. I had already posted this in Meet Willow: Part 2, when I talked about their relationship. However, why not re-share it, right?

A couple of years into playing X-Future, I was introduced to the Chibi Maker doll generator by gen8. (can also be found here) I couldn't resist coming up with Chibi-fied images for the main X-Future characters. Naturally, I went with Willow's classic Cheshire Cat illusion for her chibi verseion.

After losing my ChaZie master file, I tried to rebuild it, but at that point Dollz Mania had shut down. I'm slowly beginning to find ChaZie's doll makers popping up on other websites, but I needed other alternatives for character designs and re-designs. That was when I was introduced to the X-Girl doll maker by Candy. I've had a lot of fun designing characters in this game, and decided to re-designs Willow to give her a more mature look now that she's not 15 anymore.

Hubby and I also tried to re-create, and then re-design, Willow's X-uniform.

I really like how the uniform re-design turned out.

I was fairly content on my representation of Willow with the wide variety of above images. Then, late last year, I started playing the fashion designer mobile game Love, Nikki.

I was just enjoying the game for what it was; not even thinking about X-Future/Glitches. But then I started finding more and more blue and white clothes that made me think “Willow would like that.” Soon that was my mission. I found a few white/silver hair options that I tried out, and aimed for a make-up set that would give me aquamarine eyes. Since hitting my main Willow make-up and hair goals, I've had loads of fun designing and re-designing Willow in the game.

The blue and white striped socks and those blue eyes were what first made me want to find a way to build Willow. I also tried out just about any silver/white hair and blue eyes combo.

After getting the aquamarine eyes I loved, the next trick was trying out the hair styles. There are soooo many platinum-white, white, gray, or silver hair styles in this game! This isn't even all of them; just the ones that seemed Willow-esque. First up was an an attempt to keep Willow's short hair:

Picture #3 was the only one that really worked, and I ran with that hair for a little bit. I just liked the pseudo-punk look of those sharp edges.

A lot more of these could possibly work, although they aren't the Willow I had in my head. Even so, I could picture Willow with hair styles #2, #3, and #4.

I really can't picture Willow growing her hair out so long. It would bother her to have so much of it. However, out of the above pictures, #2 would be close, if it were the right color. Beyond that, I think #4 feels the most like Willow, with #1 being close behind.

Sadly, the ones that are the closest to Willow's hair style are all the wrong color. #1 is almost exactly Willow's hair style, just parted the wrong way; her longer side is over the right eye. Although it's a bit too short, and clearly the wrong color, #2 is at least parted on the correct side, and it does have some blue tips; probably the second closest to her canonical look. I could picture Willow in all of those hair styles, though.

This hair style isn't all that bad, and it is pale, but it's still platinum-blonde instead of Willow’s silver.

After a LOT of working and re-working, I decided this hair style works best. It's short, but not terribly masculine, choppy, or overly fancy. It's also the right shade of silver, and the low-lights in the hair almost look like they're blue. Once I had it figured out, the next trick was the outfit. I had her in this one for quite some time. Then I was playing Love, Nikki during the winter. I also got some coats that would work really well for her. I went formal and fantastical with the cape, and then more canonical and “real world” with the down vest. For both images I also included some extras that made it look like she was creating illusions.

I then had to switch her up for spring:

And again for summer, so this is what she's currently wearing in my game:

We'll see what other kinds of visuals I can make of Willow over the next few months/years.

------------------------------

Alright, well now that you have a good mental image of what Willow looks like, how about we find out how she talks and acts?

Next up: Meet My OCs: Willow (Part 5 – Stories)

[psycho-slytherin]

Better than Perfect

You meet a cute rapper at the BBMAs.

Request: I would like to request a Yoongi x Reader Oneshot in which the reader is a young Singer-Songwriter and they meet at the BBMAs (it’s the readers first time there) :)

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Genre: Flooooffy fluff

|mlist|

“You’re kidding.”

Sana shakes her head, biting her lip to hold back a grin. “Cross my heart. You’re nominated for Top New Artist!”

“Oh my god!” you shriek, jumping up and down. “I didn’t think– I can’t believe–”

“Hey, you earned this.” Sana’s eyes go from gleeful to focused in a second. “Now, we need to take advantage of this while we can. You’re not performing, which is fine– it is only your first time there. As for your outfit … I can cash in a lot of favors to get you something from Gucci’s new line, and then we have to practice interview questions… I think we can find you a late night spot–“

“Sounds great,” you interrupt, clapping your hands. If you let Sana go into Full Agent Mode, she won’t come back for a while. “I’m gonna head to the studio, text me when I can, y’know, do anything.”

Sana nods, gripping your arm. “Alright. Y/n, I can’t tell you how happy I am for you.”

You blink hard to hold back tears. “Th-thanks.”

“Get going, superstar.”

Twenty minutes later finds you in the extra room that you converted into a music studio when you first moved to the city. Biting your lip, you scribble lyrics into your battered notebook. Sure, you can dance– sort of– and singing is a strength of yours, but for you it’s always been about the lyrics. Nothing matters more to you than the message you send, and finding the perfect rhythm and syllable count to convey that message is always your goal. You’re just working on a new song, tapping out a beat on your thigh, when your phone rings.

“Hello?”

“AAAAAAAH!”

You laugh. “Hi, Sunmi.”

“You got nominated oh my god I’m so proud I’m already crying why didn’t you tell me?!”

You lean back in your chair. “I found out less than an hour ago, girlfriend.”

“That’s literally too long,” Sunmi whines. “I need time to plan your BBMA-winning party.”

“You know for a fact that I won’t win– my first nomination? No way.”

“You’re winning or I’m fighting you,” Sunmi insists. “You’re good, y/n, really good. You just need to go to the BBMAs and be your beautiful badass talented self and they’ll be throwing trophies at you.”

“Sounds terrifying.”

Sunmi scoffs. “Not as terrifying as me if my best friend doesn’t win. Call me when you’re getting ready for the BBMAs so I can help out.”

“Will do,” you laugh.

“Oh, and do you know Korean?”

To anyone else, it’s a weird question, but you’ve always been a polyglot– you pick up languages with ease. You’re fluent in English, Japanese, Spanish, Italian, Mandarin, and Russian.

“Not too well, but I’ll practice. Why do you ask?”

You hear Sunmi giggle. “Definitely practice, and no reason.”

You sigh in bemusement before hanging up and going back to your lyrics. You’re working on a power ballad, and you’re struggling with the balance between empowerment and unkindness. As much as you’d like to be strong and opinionated in your songs, you can’t afford controversey right now. “Having something doesn’t mean anything… I’m mine alone, don’t need a ring.” You stare at the words before scrunching up your nose and crossing them out. The lyrics need to be perfect.

Time passes, and soon enough the awards show is in less than a week. You’ve spent the last month practicing everything– interview questions, polite clapping, walking in heels, and (just in case) an acceptance speech. You’ve also worked on memorizing the names and faces of all the other nominees. It’s a lot, but at least you can prepare.

“Who would you love to collaborate with?” Sunmi reads from an index card.

“Probably Ariana Grande,” you reply with a smile. “She seems amazing.” Breaking character, you shake your head. “Was that too vague?”

“I think you’re good,” Sunmi replies, tossing the index card aside and reaching for the next one. “Sana told you to be vague, after all.” She squints at the latest question. “How does it feel to be nominated for Top New Artist alongside blah, blah blah?”

You giggle at your friend’s impatience. “It’s a huge honor. It still doesn’t feel real…” you falter, reaching for the perfect words. “Uh, I can’t believe it–”

Sunmi shakes her head. “Nope. You can believe it, remember? You can’t act like you’re not good enough.”

You squeeze your eyes shut. “But I’m not. I’m not perfect enough–”

Your friend rolls her eyes. “When are you gonna stop thinking that? You’ve worked ridiculously hard. You’re the most talented person I know. Get over yourself, because you deserve this.”

You inhale shakily at her words. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

“Good. Now I’ve got to get going, and don’t you have a meeting with Sana? Good luck,” Sunmi says, blowing you a kiss. “Dedicate your Grammy award to me in a few years.”

You smile at your friend. “Of course.”

As soon as she leaves, you get a text from Sana: My office. Now.

Faster than you think is humanly possible, you find yourself in Sana’s office.

“What’s… wrong…?” you pant, leaning on the wall. Sana looks up from her desk.

“Hm? Oh, nothing,” she says. “I just wanted you here quickly so I could show you these.”

With a flourish she holds up a set of clothes hangers.

“This is what you’re wearing to the airport,” she murmurs distractedly, handing you a stylish outfit. “These two are for your late night interviews, I forget which… Oh, this is for after the awards show, I got you an invite to Justin Beiber’s afterparty… aha!” she pulls out a dress, and your jaw drops.

You’re looking at the most gorgeous black dress you’ve ever seen, a dress shimmering as the light hits it.

“Isn’t it too much?” you whisper in awe. You reach out, but you’re scared to touch it. The cloth looks more expensive than you’ll ever be.

“Nah, you’re gonna wow them. Trust me on this,” Sana winks. “Wigs’ll be flying as soon as you show up.”

You take the dress, stroking the fabric in awe. “I hope you’re right.”

“Aaaand I’m joined by y/n l/n, who’s been making a splash in the charts! Y/n, how does it feel to be nominated for Top New Artist alongside such amazing new stars?”

“It still doesn’t feel real, honestly,” you laugh, alternating eye contact with the red carpet interviewer and the camera. Around you… so this is the hustle and bustle before an awards show. “I’m honored.”

“And who are you wearing tonight?”

You smile graciously. “Gucci.” Giving you just a hint of cleavage and hugging your curves in all the right places, you’ve never felt more powerful.

“Well, you look great, and best of luck to you tonight!”

You’re about to thank the interviewer when a sudden chorus of screams makes you jump. What the hell? You strain your ears, making out a consistent cheer.

“BTS! BTS! BTS! BTS!”

Holy shit, they’re here. You’ve done your fair share of googling on the nominees– BTS is easily the biggest boy band in the world, known for their dedicated fanbase. You’ve listened to some of their songs, and they’re talented to say the least– but you don’t have time to get distracted, as you’re soon approached by another interviewer.

Your feet are aching by the time the cameras follow the guests inside, and you’re led to your seat. Why a barely known singer like you has been seated in the very front row, you don’t understand, but you’re not complaining– Sana will be squealing at the additional screentime.

The front row is barely filled in by the time you sit down. There are seven empty seats to your right, and you’re left twiddling your thumbs, your body tense with nervous energy.

A few minutes later, you hear the roar of another thousand teenage girls, and you twist around. Looks like BTS has entered the building, and when one of the members raises their hand to wave the volume of the screams increases tenfold.

You stare in awe. That’s what it means to be famous. These guys… these guys have made it. They’re perfect. They’re talented. They’re… sitting next to you?

You hold your breath as the members settle in their seats. Beside you, if those Wikepedia articles you read are correct, is Suga. He’s… wow, he really is even more attractive in person.

You keep your eyes trained on the stage as the MC of the night begins to talk, but you can’t help but focus your attention on your peripheral vision. You’re entranced by the ethereal beauty of the men beside you.

“And we’ll be right back!” you hear the MC say, snapping you out of your fog. The first commercial break already?

You turn, and you’ve never been more grateful to your best friend– you’ve been focusing on Korean ever since Sunmi mentioned it, so that now…

“Hello,” you say to Suga.

He notices, his eyes widening in surprise. “You speak Korean?”

You hold your thumb and index an inch apart. “A little bit. I’m learning.”

“Hyung, we’re getting some drinks,” one of the members– RM, perhaps?– says. “You coming?”

“In a second,” Suga replies, his eyes trained on you. Something in his gaze sends shivers down your spine.

“You should go with them,” you breathe as the members file away. “The cameras will want to see you all together.”

“The cameras see us together enough,” Suga says, leaning back and folding his arms. “How do you know Korean?”

You shrug. “I’m good with languages. My friend told me to improve my Korean–” you laugh. “Now I know why.”

Suga smiles. It’s a cute smile: his lips pull up above his gums and his catlike eyes sparkle with delight. Inside your chest your heart flutters, but you calm yourself– you’re not here to pick up guys, and idols like him basically can’t date anyways–

“Are you nominated or here as a guest?” he asks.

“Oh, uh, I’m nominated for Top New Artist,” you say, beginning the sentence in Korean and finishing in English. “I’m small fry.”

Suga raises his brows. “Seems like a big deal.”

“Not as big as you,” you reply. “Top Social Artist, right? That’s impressive.”

“Yeah.” Suga tries for a smile, but his eyes dull a bit.

“Is… is something wrong?”

“Ah, no.” Suga rubs his temples. “It’s just… don’t get me wrong, a BBMA is a huge honor for a foreign group like us, but I feel like people care more about our fanbase than our music.”

He shakes his head, covering his face with his hands. “Aah, that sounded bad, sorry.”

“Not at all,” you reassure him. “Trust me, I’m a songwriter, and I get more questions about my outfits than my lyrics. It can be frustrating, huh?”

“You write your own songs?”

You open your mouth to reply when the lights start flickering to signal the commercial break’s end. The other members of BTS return to their seats as the MC takes the stage once more to introduce the next performer.

“Are you performing?” Suga whispers while the audience applauds.

“God, I wish. I’m not nearly famous enough,” you whisper back. “You are, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” Suga winks at you, and you blush happily. “Look forward to it.”

You feel your phone buzz and you check it discreetly.

Sana: Quit flirting, there are cameras on you.

Your head snaps up and you notice the familiar red blinking lights of dozens of cameras around the grand room, some of them apparently trained on you. Or rather, you acknowledge, trained on the members of BTS.

You focus on the stage once more, glueing a smile to your face as two more trophies are awarded.

“After the break, Ariana Grande is back with her latest single!” The MC says, smiling brightly into the camera. “Coming up, Top Social Artist and Top New Artist. We’ll be right back!”

As soon as the lights brighten to signify they’re no longer broadcasting, you lean over to Suga.

“Gee, I wonder who’s gonna win Top Social Artist,” you tease.

Suga shakes his head bemuseadly. “No clue.”

“Turn around and make a heart with your hands,” you suggest. “Every single scream is a vote for you winning. And I’ve heard some of your stuff, you guys deserve it. Your lyricist should get a raise.”

Yoongi laughs. “I’ll tell the others, but I think we’re pretty well off already.”

“Huh?”

“Me, Namjoon, and Hobi-ssi, sometimes the others– we write and produce a lot of our music.”

“Really?” you ask in wonder. “I thought… I mean, you’re such big stars…”

Suga shrugs. “We love the music as much as the performance. Could you ever quit songwriting?”

“Never,” you reply instantly, and you’re about to say something else when the lights dim again. Suga turns back to the stage and for a second you can’t help but be struck by his side profile. He truly is inhumanly beautiful. And funny, and kind, and passionate… he is perfection, you decide.

Another buzz from your phone.

Sana: If u keep staring at him ur gonna be a meme before midnight smh

Blinking guiltily, you tune in just in time to hear the MC finish up the nominations for Top Social Artist.

“…and BTS!”

The accompanying screams drown out any hope you have of wishing Suga luck.

“And the Billboard Music Award goes to…”

You cross your fingers behind your back. Sure, you only met Suga this evening, but there’s something about him that makes you feel as though he’s an old friend. You want him to win.

“BTS!”

You clap politely as a clip of the group’s latest single begins playing. Suga turns and says something to you before standing, but it’s lost amid the rabid screams of the fangirls. The septet files onstage to accept the award and RM makes a speech, all graciousness and gratitude. When the music swells once more the group disappears backstage to take pictures, and a sudden realization turns your blood to ice: your category is next.

The MC makes a short introduction full of scripted puns and half-clever witticisms before introducing the nominees for Top New Artist. You’re screaming inside as you hear your name:

“…and y/n l/n!”

From the crowd you can hear the yells of some of your fans or those that’ve heard your latest single. The song blew up way past expectation, landing you this nomination.

“And the Billboard Music Award goes to…”

Time slows down. Or does it speed up? Are you even breathing? You don’t think so. Your skin prickles in anticipation and your heartbeat is deafening, but the cameras are trained on you and so all you do is smile hopefully, twining your fingers together. It’s fine. You won’t win, no way. It’s fine.

“Y/n l/n!”

Huh? You’re frozen for a second, surely you misheard, for a second you thought they’d announced your name, and around you people are clapping and the guy to your left is nudging you forward and when you stand up the cheers get louder and wait a second they’re cheering for you.

You walk– actually, you practically float– to the stage. Do you really deserve it?

You accept the trophy from the MC and step up to the mic.

“Wow.” You look at the audience and swallow. You have precious few minutes to speak, and you’ll use them.

“Every moment of my life is spent working towards becoming perfect,” you say. “Whenever I get close, ‘perfect’ seems to get farther away. And I’ve realized that being an artist means not being perfect, but being better. Thank you to my parents, my amazing agent Sana, of course Sunmi. Y’all make me better.” You smile at the camera. “But my biggest thanks have to go to my fans. You inspire me every day to become better, and you make me believe that I can be better. Every note, every lyric– that’s all you guys. Thank you!”

You walk backstage to the sound of applause, swelling with pride.

“Y/n! Over here!” A photographer waves you over, motioning to a backdrop. “Could you stand right here? Hold up the trophy– like that, perfect! Okay, we’re good. You can get back to your chair now. Door’s that way.”

Well, that was easy. You head in the direction the photographer indicated, turning a sharp corner and suddenly bumping into someone.

“Oh! My bad, I– oh.” You’ve accidentally run into another member of BTS– Jimin, you think?

You switch to Korean. “Sorry, I should’ve watched where I was going.”

The singer’s expression changes to delight at your words. “Yoongi hyung, is this the girl you mentioned?”

Suga suddenly appears from behind Jimin, and you let out a surprised squeak.

Suga chuckles. “Yeah, she was sitting next to me. Had the nerve to say she wasn’t fluent.” He eyes you teasingly.

You decide to ignore his snark. “What are you guys doing back here?”

“Jimin-ssi had to use the restroom, and I wanted to greet the top new artist,” Suga says with a smirk. “Whoever it may be.”

“Bullshit, you heard me win,” you reply.

He shrugs, and you notice Jimin has already hastened back to his seat. “Maybe I wanted to chat,” Suga continues. “Without the cameras, because I’ve already gotten scolded for talking to you so much.”

You laugh. “Hey, me too.”

“We never really introduced ourselves,” Suga says. He offers you his hand and you shake. “I’m Min Yoongi– Yoongi’s my first name– I’m a rapper, lyricist, and overall pretty average person.”

“Y/n l/n,” you reply. “Singer, lyricist, and overall incredibly awkward nerd.”

Yoongi laughs, a surprised and mirthful sound that makes your heart skip a beat.

“Are you going to an afterparty?” you blurt out.

Yoongi thinks. “Joonie mentioned… yeah, I think so, if our managers are okay with it.” He clucks his tongue. “Parties here are hard, with only one translator. It doesn’t give us a lot of freedom to move around.”

“That’s a shame,” you say, sudden confidence overtaking you. He’s been nothing but flirtatious all night, why shouldn’t you reciprocate? “If we were going to the same party, I could be your personal translator for the entire night.”

Yoongi looks at you, a mischivious glint in his eye. “Whose afterparty are you going to?”

“Justin Beiber’s.”

“Huh. Well, c’mon, we have to get back to our seats,” Yoongi says, gesturing to the backstage exit.

Just as you open the door, you hear the MC’s voice: “We’ll be right back!”

“A commercial break already?” you hiss at Yoongi, and he shrugs.

“To them, it’s all money, isn’t it?”

“Hyung!” RM suddenly rushes up to Yoongi. “We need to get changed, we’re on after the next two awards!”

Good luck, you mouth at Yoongi as RM leads him away.

Thanks, he mouths back, winking.

You settle in your seat as the commercial break ends and the next two awards are given away. From time to time you smile randomly– how could you not? Yoongi is by far the most attractive man you’ve ever met and he’s more than attractive; he’s just so cute…

You’re snapped out of your stupor by the announcement of the next performance: “And here’s the record-smashing phenomenon with their latest single. Give it up for BTS!”

After the performance, you’re still in a daze. They were just so good. You couldn’t help but be captivated by Yoongi’s raps. Whatever he may think, you’re not fluent, and so you only got about seventy percent of his verse but still it was so good…

You’re still thinking about it when you’re led to your trailer to change into your afterparty outfit, a tight-fitting but not uncomfortable cocktail dress. You’re still thinking about it when you arrive at the party location with no clue as to how you got there. You’re standing in Justin Beiber’s living room, positively dumbstruck, when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You whirl around to see–

“Yoongi!” you want more than anything to give him a quick hug, but you refrain. The other members surround him.

“Hi, I’m y/n,” you introduce yourself nervously. That much beauty at once is intimidating.

Yoongi says something quickly to the other members in a dialect you don’t understand, and the six of them surreptitiously melt into the crowd.

“What was that?”

Yoongi smirks. “I was promised a personal translator. I don’t want to share you tonight.”

Somehow his words sound far from innocent. “Whatever you’re thinking, I’m not that kind of girl,” you warn him.

Yoongi snorts. “I was gonna ask if you wanted to go for a walk in the backyard. Don’t worry, I’ll keep my hands to myself.” As if to prove his point, he jams his hands into his pockets.

You giggle, following him onto the perfectly manicured lawn. You and Yoongi stay outside for hours or maybe days, and at some point you look down and notice his fingers intertwined with your own.

“Didn’t you say you’d keep your hands to yourself?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Do you want me to?”

The word is out of your mouth before you have time to regret it: “No.”

Yoongi grins widely. “You’re too smart for a hurried party hookup. I have an idea, if you’re interested… it might mean we can see each other after I fly home?”

“Tell me.”  

“Want to collaborate? I heard that clip of you singing earlier, god, I could write a thousand songs for that voice of yours.”

“Collaborate… with you? On a song?”

“Not if you don’t want to,” Yoongi says hurriedly.

The human embodiment of perfection– better than perfection– is asking to collaborate. “Are you kidding? It’s the opportunity of a lifetime, in more ways than one.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

You lean towards Yoongi until your noses are mere centimeters apart. The space between your bodies feels electric. “Whatever you want it to.”

A/N thanks for the request, @minanna01! I hope I did your vision justice. As always, my inbox is open and feedback is welcome and appreciated :)

[justanotherdumpingground]

Chapter Reviews: May 21-25, 2019 + Thoughts on Upcoming Books

High School Story: Class Act Chapter 15:

The greenhouse is so pretty that I can stare at it for minutes and not get bored. Oh, how I wish I have a place like that. Anyway, I spent diamonds on the terrarium because I'm curious about it and wonder how it will be used in the next book. Pity I couldn't spend time with Skye as a result, though it's not like I have enough diamonds either way. Anyway, let's see how the tour to Europe in Book 3 will turn out. As long as it doesn't involve disrespecting the local culture, though. Man, I'm so glad this book is done. The student election drama is so darn boring, with a weak progression in the storyline. If it wasn't for Skye, I would've lost my cool. She's the only saving grace of the story, and I'm glad I get to be official with her. Wishful Thinking Chapter 7:

I don't care much about the power outage thing, though I'm glad Jaime came to help things out. What frustrates me is the premium option to spend time with a minor character with a recycled model, so hard pass, Tony. Can I punch Alec now? He's being nothing but unreasonable, only getting MC's ideas when there's something in it for him? His behavior towards Jaime is just... ugh. As for Ellen, I need a heart-to-heart talk with her and call her out on her pride as well as reprimanding her for sabotage and theft. Note to self: buy that premium option to follow her. A Courtesan of Rome Chapter 18:

Man, it's been so long since I last played ACoR! I never thought I missed it. I know the middle chapters are weak because of their emphasis on romance over espionage, but I still had fond memories of how badass the MC and her family are. Anyway, let's get to it, shall we? I literally agonized over the choice to free Victus or Syphax, especially since I like them both, and Syphax is my MC's love interest. I really wanted Victus to reunite with the rest of his family, but because I also roleplay my MC, I wonder what she would do in that situation. For now, I picked Syphax, and Victus said that she and Syphax are the future of the tribe, which shook me speechless. I feel like Victus is willing to make way for the future generation. Finally Cingerix shows up, albeit as a legionary. I understand his frustrations at his situation, but time can't be turned back. I cringed at the options to be harsh towards him when playing as Delphinia. Threesome with Caesar and Cleopatra? Sounds interesting, if only I have the diamonds. I'm not surprised the MC didn't kill Caesar with poison, because he died by stabbing. What's interesting is how she'll deal with meeting her brother again. Nightbound Chapter 6:

Once again, I'm at the mercy of idiots, or more specifically werewolves who refuse to see reason. If it wasn't for Katherine, Nik, and Cal saving MC's ass, they would've been dead. About time Vera shows up, and I should've known that she's taking care of Kristin at the hospital. Seriously, I respect her for that. Here's hoping she shows up more. Speaking of showing up more, that should also apply to Krom, Garrus, and Ivy. My ever-supportive pit crew needs more love than the story provides. I need to tag them along with MC throughout their misadventures, badly. Is it just me, or does this story have a slow pacing? I wonder when the next monster tear will appear. Passport to Romance Chapter 11:

Not much I could say in this chapter because there's not much going on in the airport. The outfit's tacky, Ahmed's suggestion to have a trolley race is stupid, and I couldn't afford to invite Sumire to the lounge. Honestly, Elliot never ceases to annoy me. His family owns an airline, and he waited until the next day to use it to provide his friends a flight on a private plane? What is wrong with this guy? Can he just set his grudge against his brother aside? And what does Elliot even do for a living aside from mooching off his brother? Open Heart Chapter 15:

Seeing Aurora and hearing about her struggles of being the Chief of Medicine's daughter makes me want to give her a hug. She needs to cry the stress out of her. It's definitely bad that she had to put up with sycophants like the ones seen earlier in the story, and I'm glad I finally get to comfort her. At the same time, I'm sick of being forced to hate her for most of the time. Sure her aloof behavior isn't helping matters, but the MC should also get off their high horse. She Nevertheless, her story is far from done, and I want to see what decisions she'll make. Not to mention that I'm willing to give her the chance to be nice to her fellow interns, not just towards patients. Every time I see a choice to act mean to Aurora, I cringe. Getting the help of the senior physicians was fine, though I hated the outfit, so I didn't bother buying it. Since the physicians have a neutral opinion on the MC, it makes sense to encourage them to testify without any bias. As much as I respect Ethan for his skills, he's too biased in favor of the MC, especially since mine just hooked up with him. On MC's little talk with Landry as he moved out, the part where Landry said the competition's going to come down to him and the MC annoyed me. He didn't regret sabotaging the MC, but justified the reason he did it in the name of competition instead. Jackie nailed it in the previous chapter, when she said she wanted to reach the top spot fair and square. It's one thing to stay in the competition. It's another to sabotage another competitor and put patients at risk of misdiagnoses in the process, all because of a petty desire to suck up to Ethan. Even if it wasn't his goal to do the latter, it shows horrible judgement on his part that deserves to be censured. I won't forgive him for this, especially when the narrative wants us to forget about it. Bloodbound Chapter 2:

Scholar Jameson really creeps me out when he talked about the MC being a Bloodkeeper, which sounds like he and Gaius are using her to free the First Vampire and usher in an era where vampires will enslave humans. Ugh... At least the new lore stuff got me hooked, even when I failed to get Gaius to reveal my plans. I'll replay this chapter someday. Great, the portrait fragment system is back, and this time it focuses on Rheya. I wouldn't be surprised if she's the First Vampire. If so, that's kinda underwhelming. I expected the figure to be super old, but Rheya dates from the 8th Century BC (800-701 BC), which means there are ancient civilizations that predate her. I was confused when MC suddenly wakes up in the same room she was found in, only to be woken up by the love interests. I mean, yay they came to the rescue, but that left me wondering about the whole scene. And double yay at Lily for her tech savvy! Since the next chapter involves going to Vegas, this probably means there won't be a cameo appearance of Grant Emerson, which I anticipated. Oh well. I hope the cameo is a fun one. More Thoughts on Platinum:

After reading the summary for the second chapter, I groaned that this story will most likely feature a female rival I'm forced to hate, a problematic cliché Pixelberry loves using just to encourage players to vilify women and girls as rivals. This is a worrying trend that should stop, especially because what PB writes is sometimes influenced by fan reception, which always distorts the writing of characters and fails to provide meaningful commentary. It reeks of narrow-minded superficiality that reflects badly on players and writers alike. At least it was funny to see the OH female MC models recycled to the point that it could pass for an alternate universe where her medical license is revoked, and she chose a different career path. This won't hold water for me because my OH!MC's male, though they might as well be relatives. Red Carpet Diaries Book 3:I'm still angry that RCD gets a third book after the fiasco that is the second book. I'll just play this book for free diamonds and a few characters I like.

[forestwater87]

Underrated Characters Appreciation Weeks I’m too lazy to set up....

...but I’m proud of myself for having created. So if y’all wanna adopt any of these, you can go wild (please tag me though! I wanna see them!). Otherwise, shower me with praise.

(They’re very writing-heavy and often just a list of questions, so if you borrow anything feel free to tweak as suits your inspiration; the questions/suggestions are really just to get people thinking!)

I’m gonna put them below the cut so it doesn’t get too long, but you have to look forward to:

Jasper Appreciation Week

Cameron Campbell Appreciation Week

Gwen Appreciation Week

Bonquisha Appreciation Week

Dirty Kevin Appreciation Week

QM Appreciation Week

Other Secondary Characters Appreciation Week

Elevated Extras Appreciation Week

Nerris Appreciation Week

Space Kid Appreciation Week

Ered Appreciation Week

Harrison Appreciation Week

Dolph Appreciation Week

Nikki Appreciation Week

Preston Appreciation Week

Nurf Appreciation Week

Flower Scouts Appreciation Week

Woodscouts Appreciation Week

Jasper Appreciation Week

Who doesn’t love this good good ghost boy?

Day 1: 90s Kid -- Depict Jasper doing something radical.

Day 2: Jasper’s Camp -- Show off Jasper’s time as Camp Campbell’s golden boy.

Day 3: David -- It’s the only character he has a real canon relationship with . . .

Day 4: Life After Death -- What does he do with himself on that there island all day?

Day 5: All Grown Up -- We’ve all thought about it.

Day 6: Best Friend to Campers -- Pick a non-David character and develop his relationship with them.

Day 7: Spookily Ever After -- How does Jasper’s story end? On Spooky Island forever? Leaving this realm? Becoming the camp’s new mascot? Or was he somehow alive the whole time? Let your imagination go wild!

Cameron Campbell Appreciation Week

He’s sleazy. He’s morally bankrupt. He’s everyone’s favorite non-blonde-twink villain!

Day 1: Shady Business Dealings -- What’s Campbell up to when he’s not at camp? What does he want with Camp Campbell? Was that Nazi gold in his vault? Something’s fishy here, and I’m curious what everyone thinks is going on.

Day 2: Mysterious Past -- How on earth does someone like Campbell happen, anyway? This could be stuff about his childhood, how he got into . . . whatever illegal nonsense he’s up to, how he met QM, even how he got away with not getting in trouble for what happened to Jasper.

Day 3: Spooky Island -- Seriously, what on earth was going on in that house? Focus on the coolest/creepiest thing in there and go nuts.

Day 4: Fears & Other Random Headcanons -- Basically your Free Space day.

Day 5: Boss Man -- Focusing specifically on his relationships with the counselors.

Day 6: (Relation)Ships -- Yeah, yeah, gotta have it somewhere. This one is pretty open to interpretation, and should be considered platonic or not. Just depict the most interesting/fun relationship you think Campbell has. Is that cold black heart even capable of affection, anyway? (If you think he’s a foxy grandpa, go wild today.)

Day 7: What Happens Next? -- Is he gonna ever leave that cave? Team up with Daniel? Gone for good? What’s up ahead for the most notorious criminal who’s ever run a summer camp?

Gwen Appreciation Week

I mean, come on. You knew I was gonna do it.

Day 1: Background -- There are a lot of interesting headcanons about Gwen’s backstory, cultural heritage, etc. City girl or country bumpkin, Latina or African-American or rich or poor or college dropout or whatever, pick what you think is the most interesting headcanon for Gwen (something that’s related to her time before the show, that is) and go nuts.

Day 2: Favorite Camper -- Pick one of the kiddos and have them bond with their grumpiest caregiver.

Day 3: All Dolled Up -- She’s always in that counselor uniform. What does she look like outside of camp?

Day 4: Ships -- Obviously.

Day 5: That Tragic Plot Twist -- If you have an idea what makes Gwen such a grumpy disaster of panic and unemployment -- or just want to have fun making things unnecessarily dark for such a lighthearted cartoon which I know you do; I’ve read the fanfiction -- it’s time to unleash the angst.

Day 6: Anywhere Else -- AUs! AUs in all directions! Gwen doesn’t want to be at camp, so let’s plop her into another world where she might be happier . . . or might not be.

Day 7: A Campbell Camper? Whether you think Gwen was one of the kids who grew up at Camp Campbell or not, I think we’d all agree it’d be fun to imagine.

Bonquisha Appreciation Week

Because she deserves it and will probably kill you if you don’t appreciate her enough. 

Day 1: Those Wild Shirts -- Draw her in another fantastic outfit, or speculate where her amazing fashion sense (and vanity plates) came from. She has a filthy mouth and a whole lotta confidence, and the first day of this week is to celebrate that!

Day 2: Home Sweet Trailer -- Put her in her house on 69 Dirt Rd. and think about what kinds of things a girl like Bon would call home.

Day 3: Dog -- She has one. Tell us about it!

Day 4: Work/Hometown HCs -- What does someone even do in a town that small? Whether you think she’s a waitress alongside that cute pink-haired gal, or if she lives out of town and drove up to see David, ponder a little bit of what Bonquisha does in or around Sleepy Peak and show it to us.

Day 5: Bonvid -- How did that relationship with David crash and burn so hard, anyway? And what does it look like after that episode?

Day 6: Other Relationships -- Bonquisha vs. Tabii, or Gwenquisha, or bffs with Dirty Kevin, or any sort of connection you’d like to expand upon or forge between Bon-Bon and another character in the show. Hell, draw her and Jacob if you think that’s cute; it’s canon, after all.

Day 7: Muscles to Die For -- She’s big and beautiful and could absolutely murder everyone. Let’s just spend out last day appreciating how very much of a badass Bonquisha is.

Dirty Kevin Appreciation Week

The very goodest alternative Den Mother there ever was.

Day 1: Probably a Real Brat -- What was he like as a kid or teenager?

Day 2: Drugs & More Drugs -- Show us Kevin hard at work or tell us how he got into this crazy business.

Day 3: That Red Hoodie -- It’s kind of his trademark, and this is a day to appreciate it.

Day 4: From Sleepy Peak to Mexico -- Take your favorite part from Kevin’s debut appearance and do something fun with it.

Day 5: Den Mommy -- We’ve all thought about Dirty Kevin as a Flower Scout mother, and if you haven’t, you’re lying.

Day 6: Cleaned Up -- Get him a nice facial grooming and some good clothes, and you could have a handsome gentleman right there. What on earth would that look like? 

Day 7:  Not Such a Lone Wolf -- Whether you have an OTP or just love the idea of Kevin being friends with certain characters, show us who you think he has a soft spot for.

QM Appreciation Week

Listen, we’re all a little afraid of him, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve the spotlight for a bit. Even if we know he’ll probably do unspeakable things in and to that spotlight.

Day 1: God or Just Crazy? Whether it’s his apparent inability to age or how he can magically find little woodland paradises in the middle of the camp, there’s a lot of weird going on there. Celebrate the man who may or may not be a murderer and may or may not actually be a literal deity and all his strange, often supernatural weirdness.

Day 2: Hook -- Hey, how’d he lose that hand?

Day 3: Man vs. Squirrels -- He has a blood feud with many woodland creatures.

Day 4: QM Store -- There’s a lot of wacky stuff in there. What did you like best, or what do you think was hidden in the corners that we didn’t get to see?

Day 5: Bonding -- QM’s been there for a long (long long long) time, and he’s clearly known Campbell and David at least for years. Pick a character and explore what their relationship with the Quartermaster might be like.

Day 6: Tontine -- So what on earth was going on there?

Day 7: Camp Specter -- Regardless of how you approached Day 1, the fact remains that for whatever reason, the Quartermaster is at Camp Campbell for good. You can speculate why he’s there or just show us him hard at work doing . . . whatever he does, but today I just wanna see our beloved QM lurking around the camp!

Other Secondary Characters Appreciation Week

To all those characters who hang out in the background, making the campers’ shenanigans more fun.

Day 1: Daniel -- I don’t consider him in any way under-appreciated, but he’s a pretty spectacular way to kick off Season 2, and also this week.

Day 2: Platypus -- Mother of six five four three two one lunch and terror of the camp.

Day 3: Cute Waitress -- Y’all sure do love her. Show your love!

Day 4: Jermy Fartz -- Oh yeah. I went there.

Day 5: Darla & Gregg -- How can anyone who isn’t David be that excited about camping? Were they totally secretly dating? Where are they now, and how did they get there?

Day 6: The Denizens of Sleepy Peak -- Whether your heart belongs to Lester, Fred, the old geezers, or any of the others populating the nearby town, it’s time to show them some love.

Day 7: Parents -- How else would we end this week but with some family bonding?

Elevated Extras Appreciation Week

They’re not as memorable as the secondary characters. They don’t even have lines. But they’re ours and we love them.

Day 1: Former Campbell Campers -- we see in the picture on David’s bulletin board that there were a lot of kids who used to come to the camp. Show or tell us about your favorite!

Day 2: Camp Counselor of the Year Judges -- What was up with those guys? Were they even human?

Day 3: Other Camps -- Lake Lilac is home to Teen Church Camp, Pirate Camp, and who knows how many others? Let’s enjoy them!

Day 4: Larry -- Poor, poor undeserving Larry. RIP, my fuzzy man.

Day 5: Scotty -- Visual comedy camp? Seriously?

Day 6: Chucky -- What happened to him anyway?

Day 7: Your choice! Think I forgot the most important one? Time to correct that mistake! (Listen, if you’re mad I didn’t include Jen, consider this the Jen space.)

Nerris Appreciation Week

Devoted to the real(?) magic kid.

Day 1: The Cute -- Artists, draw how cute she is! Writers, maybe think about how the nickname came about! Or do something completely different! I don’t care!

Day 2: Magic War -- Explore her relationship with Harrison.

Day 3: Elf-kin -- What does that even look like? What does it mean?

Day 4: Bonding with Mere Mortals -- The camp is full of people and animals. Pick one and play with their relationship with Nerris.

Day 5: Dice -- What do they look like? How did she get them?

Day 6: Fandom -- A girl that excited about fantasy has to be quite the fan of a lot of things. Show us her interacting with her favorite stuff.

Day 7: Her Party -- Her relationship with her slightly-clueless mother and extremely-geeky dad.

Space Kid Appreciation Week

The most obvious appreciation week in the entire world.

Day 1: Astronaut -- Whether you want to show him all grown up or as a little kid, give us a glimpse of what Neil the real-life spaceman would be like.

Day 2: Aliens -- Another type of spaceman.

Day 3: Fishbowl -- A day to just appreciate his adorable, impractical costume.

Day 4: Punching Bag -- He’s been pushed around and disregarded by Max, Nurf, Max, the counselors, various animals, and Max. This is a day dedicated to his unfortunate luck and indomitable good spirit.

Day 5: Sick -- After that trip he took across the lake to the moon, and barely surviving the flu zombies, Space Kid could probably use some patching up.

Day 6: Science Guys -- The two Neils, bonding.

Day 7: SPACE!!! -- Give us Space Kid interacting with his favorite hobby ever.

Ered Appreciation Week

A very very cool week.

Day 1: Skater -- Even on the camp’s awful cardboard halfpipe, Ered’s still a budding Tony Hawk.

Day 2: Dye -- Dedicated to her awesome -- dare we say cool? -- hair.

Day 3: Camp Kool Kidz -- Celebrate her short-lived tenure as the head of Camp Campbell.

Day 4: Extreme -- What other extreme sports does she like to get up to?

Day 5: Queen Bee -- Her relationship with one or more of the other campers.

Day 6: Wipeout -- She gets injured a lot, doesn’t she?

Day 7: Cool Gay FBI Dads -- They’re the most wholesome family that regularly gets into gunfights.

Harrison Appreciation Week

Devoted to the . . . real(?) magic kid? (Didn’t we already do this?)

Day 1: Harry’s Son -- His outfit is pure Vegas showman, his VA and accent seem to suggest Israeli descent, and he may or may not be a literal wizard. His parents are terrified of him, but his mom says he’ll grow into his looks. Give some backstory to this lovable kid and his love of illusions.

Day 2: Actual, Real, Terrifying Magic -- This kid isn’t messing around. From summoning fireballs to making both objects and living things appear and disappear, he has some serious supernatural chops.

Day 3: Apprenticeship -- He and Nikki’s relationship consists of equal parts mutual admiration and mayhem. What do the two of them get up to behind the scenes?

Day 4: Brother -- Time for theories (and angst, of course angst) about how and why he “made his brother disappear.” 

Day 5: Any Resemblance to Bill Cipher is Pure Coincidence -- . . . probably. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun to imagine that crossover!

Day 6: Frenemies -- Harrison has a habit of getting on people’s nerves. Pick at least one character and develop their relationship with the magic kid.

Day 7: Hufflepuff Pride -- Jordan Cwierz confirmed it! This last day is about celebrating all things yellow and black and (mostly) well-intentioned.

Dolph Appreciation Week

I know, he’s controversial. But he’s a kid with a passion for art and no understanding of history, and he could use some love as well.

Day 1: Painting -- Exactly what it says on the tin. While he is clearly skilled at lots of different types of art, this is the one he seems to like the most.

Day 2: Where’s the Yellow? He is the only one who doesn’t wear anything camp-themed. Give us a glimpse of what might’ve happened to that signature yellow clothing.

Day 3: Stage Manager -- Multiple times throughout the series Dolph is shown as Preston’s right-hand man by helping him design sets and acting in his plays; Preston even returns the favor by posing for a painting. Today is dedicated to the strange relationship of the theatre and art kids.

Day 4: Camp Counselor of the Year! Incredibly, Dolph appears to be quite the competent leader for his age, and his one day of running the camp went smoothly for the most part. Maybe he has the makings of a great counselor after all.

Day 5: The Elephant in the Room -- We all knew it was coming. Whether you find the Hitler jokes hilarious or offensive, everyone has an opinion about this particular character choice. Now’s the time to speculate what happens when he gets older, or completely retcon this aspect of his personality, or do whatever you’d like to with his . . . peculiarities.

Day 6: Father Issues -- According to the show’s wiki, “his father is an American lieutenant, who raised him on a German army base where he supposedly gained a love of art and soccer like many Europeans, much to his father's dismay.” Oof, that’s a lot to unpack. Time for backstory!

Day 7: Not Such a Bad Kid -- Despite his . . . controversial elements, Dolph as a character seems fairly sweet and oblivious, and is loved by a significant portion of the fanbase for these qualities. A free day of sorts, this is about accentuating the positive and appreciating the awkward, artistic weirdo underneath the jokes.

Nikki Appreciation Week

I was really close to not including this, because I don’t consider her an underrated character exactly, but Neil has a week and, let’s be honest, it’d be fun.

Day 1: Rough n’ Tumble -- Nikki isn’t afraid of fighting, and she’s no stranger to getting dirty or even hurt. Show the wild child doing something fun, reckless, and probably not very smart.

Day 2: Raised by Wolves -- Imagine an AU where she actually was as much a literal daughter of the forest as she wants to be.

Day 3: Just a Tiny Bit Traditional -- Despite being such a tomboy, there’s a part of Nikki that is deeply romantic and even maternal. Whether through a version of her that’s a bit older or a quiet moment at the camp, show us a little bit more of her gentle side.

Day 4: BFFs, Potential Step Siblings, Sidekicks -- A day to appreciate Neil and Nikki’s relationship, whatever you see that as.

Day 5: Flower Scout Nikki -- What was her time across the lake like?

Day 6: Parent Troubles -- She and her mom have a difficult relationship, and her dad doesn’t seem to be around that much. Show us Nikki and one or more of her guardians, and what that relationship might be like.

Day 7: Holidays! Her first and greatest love is Christmas, but there’s probably not a holiday she wouldn’t throw herself into. Give her a chance to celebrate any holiday you want!

Preston Appreciation Week

Get ready for some high-octane theatrics!

Day 1: A Flair for the Dramatic -- I don’t care what you do with this one, just give it lots of DRAMA!

Day 2: Speak Up -- Preston and his grandmother are really close, but his parents seem to be AWOL. Every Appreciation Week needs a backstory- and/or family-centric day, and that’s what this is.

Day 3: Cosplay -- What’s Preston’s favorite play? Let’s have him dress up like a character in that show.

Day 4: Stage Presence -- Give the boy a spotlight and an audience!

Day 5: The Bard -- He seems to love writing and directing even more than performing. Show him creating the next Hamilton (or more likely, Hamilton’s weird sequel involving pirates and aliens).

Day 6: Theater Nerd -- Either as a high school AU or just some time in the future, image Preston fully engrossed in that drama club life.

Day 7: Tribe -- Every weirdo has their group of friends. Either through OCs or other characters in Camp Camp, give or describe the people that make up the group in which he belongs.

Nurf Appreciation Week

Gaylord Nurfington, much like Shrek, is like an onion: smelly, surprisingly layered, and will probably make you cry.

Day 1: Big N Tough -- He’s built like a brick shithouse and mean as a bear, and that’s part of why we love him. Celebrate the fact that this guy can (and probably will) kick anyone’s ass.

Day 2: Theater Kid? -- We’ve seen Nurf involved in Preston’s productions more than once. Have some fun with his apparent interest in the performing arts.

Day 3: His Mother’s Boy -- Mother and son time!

Day 4: Surprising Depths -- Show Nurf doing something no one would ever have thought he would enjoy and/or be good at.

Day 5: A Thoughtful Bully . . . -- As the self-proclaimed most self-actualized character in the show, Nurf has proven to be remarkably cognizant of his own issues and respectful of others’. Give him a positive-ish interaction with another character.

Day 6: . . . Is Still a Bully -- But let’s be real: Nurf can be a total jerk. Let the kid be mean today!

Day 7: Knives -- Where the hell is he getting all of those, anyway? Regardless, show Nurf with his favorite toys.

Flower Scouts Appreciation Week

They’ll kill you with a smile and fantastic hair, then they’ll use their drug contacts to bury the bodies.

Day 1: Grace & Class -- No one is prettier and daintier than these angels -- and nobody knows it better than them.

Day 2: Nicer than Disneyland -- Whether you’d like to focus on their shady cookie dealings, the washed-up Miss Priss, or even invent your own Scout, give yourself a chance to explore a part of the Flower Scouts that hasn’t been given much screentime yet.

Day 3: Sasha -- A day dedicated to the quintessential Queen Bee. Manipulative, clever, and pretty damn selfish, Sasha is undoubtedly the leader of the Scouts, and you better respect it.

Day 4: Erin -- If your heart hasn’t been captured by this heterochromatic science nerd, this day is not for you. But for the rest of us, grab your pumpkin spice and head off to Fraaaaance to celebrate her!

Day 5: Tabii -- What she lacks in common sense she makes up for with being absolutely terrifying. Tabii-with-two-eyes-with-one-eye is an emotional rollercoaster, and she deserves a little bit of love today.

Day 6: Not-So Delicate Girls -- From drug empires to vats of acid, the Flower Scouts have proven that they can kick a whole lot of ass. Show off how tough these girly-girls can really be!

Day 7: Garden Mother Kevin -- Come on. You knew it was coming.

Woodscouts Appreciation Week

They might be the cartoon answer to what would happen if Stormtroopers were body-swapped with Boy Scouts, but that’s part of their charm.

Day 1: A Shadowy Organization -- No girls are allowed, they don’t appear to have a troop leader, their camp is impenetrable, there seem to be maybe 5 Scouts at most . . . Pick something cool about this creepy camp and play around with it.

Day 2: Bitter Rivalries -- Between risky bets against Camp Campbell and popcorn/cookie sales against the Flower Scouts, it seems like the WS have a problem with basically everyone. Depict one or more interaction between them and their most bitter enemies.

Day 3: A New Recruit -- How on earth does Jermy fit into the Woodscouts’ routine? How has he not accidentally (or not-so accidentally) been incapacitated yet?

Day 4: Fearless Leader -- He’s slimy in more ways than one, but he keeps Troop #818 together and has even managed to snag a few recruits. That alone is worth a day of appreciation.

Day 5: Strong & Silent -- For someone who doesn’t talk much, Petrol has a lot of good advice and personality. Let’s celebrate his bromance with Snake, his willingness to be sacrificed for the WS, or even just his stubborn refusal to try leg day even once.

Day 6: Call him Snake -- Prince Zuko Billy might not be the most dignified character on the show, but he’s certainly the most honorable and is deadly with a candy cane.

Day 7: Like Family -- I just want to see some Woodscouts bonding, with each other or a character of your choice.

[brotoman-exe]

Jaune’s Magic Hands

So it’s after 3am, I’m not asleep, and I wanna talk about a scene in RWBY along with other ways it could have gone.

Now this bit here in Volume 5 was clearly meant as one of the BIG moments for the end of the Volume. Some would say it left fans divided, to say the least. Though everything involving Jaune divides people. He’s that character you either hate as an embodiment of all of Miles Luna’s sins or love so much you write him as romancing everyone after transforming into the Uber Harem Protag. Personally, I’ve hovered probably near both those places but overall feel Jaune has more of a weakness in execution than in concept. How hyperbolically I express this opinion can also vary.

Still, let me say right now I’m ok with his power being healing. Seriously I am. He for one seems to be meant to fill a paladin archetype when at his better moments. As well he is based on Joan of Arc who claimed to have visions and be driven by figures from the Christian religion. Jesus himself was said to have the power to heal and you can find probably hundreds of evangelical preachers who claim to have the same power. So in concept, it is fine. Instead, it might help to examine why the execution might be the issue.

First, let’s look at who he is healing. Now a lot of people don’t like that he is healing Weiss. A good number for one think it was ship pandering by giving him a moment where he *saves* her and looks all dashing.

Mind plenty of people have hated WeissXJaune since Volume 2 where many felt he was a bit too *persistent* with his attempts to get a date from her. Now that kind of interaction between two protagonists isn’t a new trope but maybe it wasn’t as well handled in Volume 2 or maybe a shift in cultural perception makes Jaune’s actions look less ok to the modern audience.

Now do I think it was done in the way it was to be ship bait?

I dunno maybe. On the one hand, not every character interaction in a show is meant to imply shipping by the author and that should be acknowledged. On the other hand, those working on RWBY have shown to be not only very aware of the shipping within the fandom but also more willing to actively fan those flames. I mean how many songs on the soundtracks alone are being attributed to some BlakeX??? ship or another? So turning on safe mode let’s say in a prospective alternate take Weiss isn’t the one that is injured.

Moving on to what is probably the other point of contention, that being who is causing the injury. In this case Cinder Fall. Now I doubt anyone is saying Cinder isn’t strong enough to wound Weiss especially while the latter is currently probably expanding a lot of aura with constant summon attempts. It is more an issue because of how Cinder’s character has somewhat flip-flopped between Volume 4 and 5.

In Volume 4 we are given glimpses of a much different kind of character for Cinder. From the somewhat generic blob of sexy female villain seen before into a person broken physically and most likely mentally.

I mean she had her personal telepath apparently find out what current outfit the person who did so much damage to her was in to keep her sessions of having the image of that person projected into her mind and then burned alive up to date. Well, that or the creators didn't want to take the time to bother with a model based on Volume 1-3 Ruby for that scene but I’m trying to give more benefit of the doubt this post and attribute it to a character thing. Still, the point is that it’s pretty massive hate on she has for Ruby.

Come Volume 5 people felt she had devolved back into her old ways. Now for one of the scenes, we could give the benefit of the doubt. She was meeting with Raven maybe it was just an act she was putting on of pretending to be like her old self for the sake of the task she was given. Yet when we get to the Haven fight instead of focusing on the person she apparently hates she instead focuses on fucking with Jaune while her sidekicks fight Ruby. Which for fans that both like and despise Cinder stings more because Raven probably killed her off at the end there. Meaning any set up for an interesting revenge arc may have died with her.

So let us also include that the injured party can’t become that way via a Cinder who wants to mess with Jaune.

That leaves us with the core of “Jaune discovers his healing semblance when another character is in grave danger”. Finally, I’ll show some possibilities for that I thought up on my own and maybe you’d like to share your own.

1. We roll back the rock to Volume 4 and have Jaune discover his semblance to heal Qrow during the Nuckleave fight. Hey in this idea both JNPR boys get a semblance reveal this volume. Also honestly I don’t think many people like Jaune’s weapon “upgrade” so we can replace the reveal of that with his healing power. Also, I admit to being one of those that felt like with the set up the Nuckleave received being defeated by just RNJR felt a little dumb. Yet this could remedy that a bit. I mean from how I was reading it Qrow is presented not just as an experienced hunter but as supposed to be in the higher power level tier for hunters. So the idea that he could turn the tide against a powerful Grimm like the Nuckleave was presented as is more believable with what we’ve been presented of the universe.

2. Ruby is injured by Cinder. Now Ruby and Jaune were the respective first friend they made at Beacon so Jaune unlocking his semblance to save her can still hold some weight. Also keeps that it is a character with a high power level in this verse like Cinder being the one able to cause such a mortal wound in that fight. This can maintain the no Cinder trying to fuck with Jaune clause too. Instead when the bad guys come in Cinder pretty much sees red and goes right after Ruby. Just knocking her around and maybe through in some lines taunting her to bring out the Silver Eye power. Which Ruby seems unable too and as such she doesn’t have the power to destroy Cinder like last time. After that Cinder could then go off again to have the Raven fight because she thinks Ruby is dead and we get the healing scene again.

3. Nora or Ren is injured fighting Hazel. Hey, we can use this as an opportunity to show Hazel as a major threat by having him almost take out one of the main cast for one. For another Nora and Ren are Jaune’s team so this makes it a moment between the three surviving members of JNPR. Still does leave a bit of figuring out how a separate Ruby VS Cinder fight goes but this is just the skeleton of an idea.

Anyways those are three that I had in mind right now. Not 100% and in some places require rewriting more of Volume 5 sure but it was still a nice bit of brain exercise and hey maybe the discussion about the elements of the scene people had problems with or these ideas go your brain working too.

[topazshadowwolf]

The Door (Chapter 13)

An Undertale Fanfiction by: Topaz Shadowwolf Undertale is owned by: Toby Fox Setting: Post neutral run when Papyrus dies with chapter intros being before the child fell. Relationships: Sans and Toriel is the main focus, with a little bit of Undyne and Alphys Rating: I’m thinking Teen? Heads up: There is some depressed thoughts, feelings of worthlessness/wanting to die, mention of major character death, and the occasional bad word. Oh, and flowey being flowey, so you know, psychological/physical trauma. I really don’t want to say much more since I really don’t want to spoil anything further down the road…

You can read it on AO3! Here is Ch 12 Ch 11 Ch 10 Ch 9 Ch 8 Ch 7 Ch 6 Ch 5 Ch 4 Ch 3, Ch 2, and Ch 1on Tumbler.

Random thoughts from the writer about this chapter: The Door has a beta reader now! (YEAH!) So that's fun. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this.

Chapter 13: A preamble down memory lane

 “Honestly, I don’t think I have ever seen a froggit that small before,” Toriel said, smiling as she recounted her story. “Most monsters in the Ruins avoid me, I suppose I never really had the chance to see it until then.”

“why’d they do that? you’ve got to be the best conversationalist there,” her friend inquired before he added with a chuckle, “no offense to your moldsmal neighbors.”

Toriel hummed to buy time to think, as well as avoid an awkward silence. She hadn’t told her friend much about herself. This is only the third time they had chatted after sharing jokes, and mostly it had been small anecdotal stories for him to share with his brother. How much did she want him to know about her? “Ah, well, you see… I didn’t make that good of an impression on the monsters living here when I moved in.”

“okay,” he said. He could have pressed for more, but she was happy he didn’t. Perhaps he sensed she didn’t feel like discussing the matter. But then, he seems rather private himself, and maybe he just didn’t want to intrude on her privacy.

“Now… where was I?” with that out of the way, she tapped her chin as she put herself back into story mode.

“smallest froggit,” her friend offered.

“Right, so there it was. Just this small green froggit, hopping along after the others, and I just couldn’t help myself but smile. I don’t think it was young; just small and cute,” She smiled.

“heh,” was the response, and it was not one of his humor-filled chuckles. She wasn’t sure, but she worried something she said upset him.

“Friend?”

“yeah?”

She steeled herself. He has yet to say a word about himself. Out of respect, she has not asked. After all, they were just strangers talking through a door. But, she really was worried that he was angry about something she said. Strangers or not, she had started considering him her friend. It bothered her that he went from happy and jovial to… well, she wasn’t sure. “Did I offend you?”

“what?” he sounded shocked, maybe she was overreacting? Afraid she jumped to a conclusion over a simple response, she bit her lip. This wasn’t the first time she just got an idea in her head and made an assumption. Maybe he just didn’t find her story that interesting, and now here she was making a big deal out of a simple chuckle.

“I’m sorry, I just… you didn’t sound happy,” She decided to just be honest about it.

“oh, uh… heh…,” now he was stalling. Was he upset?

Silence fell between them, and she worried she may have just bothered him more, “Dishes?”

“uh... you see…,” again silence. She figured that perhaps she should just give him a moment to think about how he wanted to respond. So, this time she waited, and her wait was rewarded, “i… i’m kind of… ‘space efficient,’ ‘vertically challenged,’ or ‘compact sized’ myself. And when i was younger i heard it a lot… anyway, after a while,being called cute for being small so many times, it kind of… gets tiring. so, i guess i sympathize with that little froggit, forever doomed to be the “cute” one of the group for being ‘height deficient.’” He tried to end it in a humorous tone, but she can tell he was hurting from the ‘small and cute’ comment.

She made a mental note, if she ever met him in person, to avoid using the word cute to describe him physically. “I’m sorry, my friend,” she wished he could see her apologetic smile.

“no worries,” she heard him shift a little, possibly to shrug. “it’s nothing really.”

“No, it upsets you,” she insisted.

“it’s a common thing though. i can’t ask you to just stop.”

“My friend, I do not wish to be pushy on this matter; but, if it bothers you in the slightest, I’d rather not do it again. Yes, it is common, but I understand that it is an annoyance to you,” Toriel stated and heard him chuckle on the other side.

“alright, thanks,” he sounded happy again.

“You are welcome, my ‘travel sized’ friend,” she hoped he didn’t mind that slight bit of teasing.

His laughter that followed hinted he didn’t, “don’t think i’ve heard that one before.”

  Sans woke, curled up in bed with Tori at his back. Not wanting to get up just yet, he remained still, lightly dozing. It was nice to wake peacefully like this, compared to the restless sleep from before. It was all thanks to the wonderful woman pressed against his back too, or so he chose to believe.

Tori’s rhythmic breathing had relaxed and grounded his mind. It allowed him to stay focused on the subtle movements her body made and kept his thoughts from venturing into the conversation from yesterday. Or worse, the darker areas of his mind, which is plagued with overall confusion about what really has happened in his life or lives.

Do other timelines count as another life? Are the Sans, or Sanses, from those timelines him, or an alternate him? If they were alternate hims, does that mean he was killed by the flower or did it kill the other, not really hims?

There was a slight pause in Tori’s breathing before she sighed. Feeling and hearing her chest fill with air dragged him back to the present and he soaked in the feel of her movement as she exhaled.

Thanks to her, he didn’t have to think about that, or anything else. He didn’t want to think of the kid or the flower. He didn’t want to think about his own death or what could have possibly happened had everything ended. No, he was done with that. Every part of him just wanted to be surrounded with the here and now, into Toriel.

… The book…

No, he didn’t even want to think about that right now, either.

Sans rolled over in Tori’s arms. He felt her shift, but not wake. Pleased with this, he buried his face in her fur. Like some sort of pie scented drug, he took in Tori’s scent, letting the thoughts of the events prior to this moment fade away. He wasn’t going to cry…

Nope, he wasn’t…

…

Okay, so he was, but that’s alright. That book meant so much to the brothers; so, of course, it would affect him this much. It meant he still cared that he’d feel his soul ache at its sight. And that’s a good thing, ...right?

Yes, it was, Papyrus was his dear little brother, and very important to him. The day he stopped caring about Papyrus is the day he hoped he stopped existing.

All this decided, he accepted his fate and stopped trying to hold back his tears. Toriel shifted again and pulled him in closer, somehow finding some previously unknown millimeter that separated them. That loving, large, paw-like hand began to pet the back of his skull in such a gentle manner. She didn’t offer any questions about why he was crying, or if he was okay. Perhaps she somehow understood. It wouldn’t be too far-fetched, considering all their talks… she did see the book in his hands after all. Instead, she started to hum some song.

At some point, he must have drifted off to sleep as he found himself waking up again, this time alone. Not fully, he could hear Tori moving around the room. Still, the bed didn’t feel right without her there. Fog from a waking mind clouded his thoughts, but he sat up slowly, stretched, and yawned. Tori looked over at him from the table in the room and smiled, “Good to see you’re finally up, Sleepy Bones,” He could see the concern on her face, and wondered what troubled her. “Feeling any better?”

She had to know how difficult the other day was for him, on top of everything else. That must be the source of her worry.

“yeah, heh. how long was i out?” He asked as he spotted food at the table. The pang of hunger radiated through his bones; he slid out of bed and wandered over to eat.

“A whole day, give or take an hour or two,” Tori said.

Sans balked at this at first. He has slept a long time before, but never that long, “you’ve goat to be kidding me, tori.”

“It’s no fibula, Sansy,” she teased as he gave her a playful glare, “In that time I talked more with Alphys, and she did bring by some things for us to wear. I had informed her that we just had what we are currently wearing.”

“huh,” Sans said quietly, unsure if that last bit was a good or bad thing. He’s going to guess bad based on some of the things Alphys had convinced him to wear in the past.

Well… he didn’t mind too much, so long as it was within the confines of her lab, and not where others could see him. He has his whole “lazy-slob-of-a-cool-comedian” act to keep up. Dressing as a “galactic hero” from some random anime, that he admittedly enjoyed, does not count. That… or being a temporary model for her to make one of her own outfits, due to their height being nearly the same. Though he highly doubted she would have given him one of those to wear. Thank the angel and all things good in the world for that. Still, knowing her, he can’t help but pause and inwardly grimace as he wondered just what it was that the yellow dinosaur had in store for him.

“Sans?” Tori asked, tilting her head at him in that manner that is so endearing that it’s hard to look at her.

With a lazy shrug, he sat at the table, “will be interesting to see what she provided.” When he glanced back at Tori, she still had a puzzled look, but he offered a grin and a wink with his right eye, which elicited a smile from her that he clearly saw with his left.

After they ate they cleaned themselves up. Tori stepped out of the bathroom to fetch the new clothes as Sans looked at himself in the mirror. He had to admit, the sleep had done him some good. He looked less tired, and the darkness around his eyes had mostly vanished. Still, there was the unending look of exhaustion that plagued him.

When Tori reappeared, he could see she was blushing under her fur. That didn’t bode well, and he couldn’t help but worry again about what Alphys brought. He steeled himself, as he tried to prepare for the worst. “Sans…,” Toriel started hesitantly, “I’ll give you some of it to put on, but… I want you to close your eyes for the last of it.”

“t, what did she bring?”

“P-please Sans, I would... actually like to see you in this,” She looked away then back at him. There was a hint of nervousness and blush was still showing from under her fur. Like that, she looked too cute to say “no” to, not that denying her anything is ever easy.

With a reluctant sigh, he relented, “alright, tori.”

He put on a pair of light grey shorts with cyan blue lines running down the sides and along the pockets. Then a white short sleeve t-shirt. So far nothing seemed out of the ordinary. In fact, Alphys was kind enough to provide him with a new pair of white fuzzy slippers, which was nice. But now he was about to figure out what this last part was.

With a deep breath, he prepared himself for the worst and closed his eye sockets. Tori put on what felt like a normal hoodie. This confused him as he was unsure why she would want him to close his eye sockets over this. She pulled up the hood and he heard her step back and make a squeaking noise as if holding back some other sound she wanted to make. That made him wince and he opened his eyes and looked in the mirror.

It was a hoodie, light gray like the pants with cyan stripes along the back and on the hood like tiger striping. It would have looked cool if it wasn’t for the two, obvious, cat ears on the hood and the cat-like tail attached to the back.

Yup, there was that now familiar feeling of embarrassment creeping in. He understood that sound Tori held back was most likely a sound reserved for women when they look at something “cute.” It was hard enough being short. People automatically turn to the word cute when describing anything smaller than ordinary. Things like this just add to it.

And now he could see his blushing matches the stupid markings on the hoodie, much as his eye would when it glows cyan. Wincing slightly, he glanced at Tori. She was covering her mouth and smiling. He sighed and closed his eyes, cleared his thoughts, then looked in the mirror again. Giving in, he pulled the hood down to block out the vision. He’ll tolerate this… for her, and only her. “what’d she bring for you?”

“Oh, wait here, I’ll go put it on,” She walked out of the room while adding, “I’m not sure how it will look on me.”

Shoving his hands in his pockets he looked back in the mirror as he waited. He wondered what Alphys was trying to play at with this. As he thought about it, in the long run, he didn’t mind wearing this for Tori if it made her happy. Shrugging slightly, he turned a bit, looked at himself, and sighed. He didn’t look bad; if you can get past the annoying cuteness of it. But there was no way in hell he was going to let Undyne see him like this. She clearly already didn’t think he had any self-respect, and this would just add to that thought. Not that she was far off. He had it, he just stopped caring about it.

“Um, okay, I’m ready…,” Tori called. Sans walked out of the bathroom, prepared to see what over the top cute thing Alphys supplied Tori with. But what he saw would have stopped his heart if he had one. Instead, it caused his soul to freeze then feel as though it was having a spasm.

She was in a very elegant white dress. It was lightly accented with silver and gold around the sleeves, neckline, and flowing bottom. Around her waist is an elegant golden chain with a watch hanging from it on her right hip. The dress perfectly showed her figure while maintaining Tori’s usual elevated level of modesty. Tori looked at him shyly. Even as a queen she never wore anything like this before, preferring plain clothes, “How do I look?”

This was a struggle. He tried to speak but no words came out. He coached himself to get it together as he heard himself rattle a little. The rattle, as annoying and childish as it was, helped calm his nerves and he smiled at her, “it looks beautiful on you, tori.”

“Do you think it’s too much?” She asked, spinning slightly. The dress had a spot for her tail to be seen. The dresses Tori wears in the ruins cover her short, fluffy tail. He liked seeing it, really; and, he was happy most of her pajamas have space for it. But, in this dress, it ended up being that last thing that caused him to start feeling unsteady. She was just that beautiful.

Well, she was always that beautiful. She just hid it under layers of loose hanging clothes, and self-conscious worries of being too old to dress this way.

Raising a hand to his mouth he took a step back. He felt his magic in his face, and the world was being filtered out by its hum. He struggled to clear his nonexistent throat to utter a quiet reply, “n-no tori.” The room was spinning, and his already empty skull was feeling lighter than normal. He cleared his throat again and looked down, “i, uh, think i’m going to sit because i’m about to fall for you.”

“Sans, are you alright?” She asked as she hurried over and knelt beside him. He felt her pull the hood off his head and start to touch his skull. He didn’t fight it, letting himself rattle again as he covered his face with his hands. “Oh my,” She said before he felt her lift him and place him on her lap.

“tori, why? why do you love me?” He lowered his hands and looked at her, “you deserve so much better. you’re so… so… everything wonderful in this world. so, why would you ever want to put up with me?”

She hugged him tight to herself, “I don’t put up with you, Sans, I love you. You make me so happy.” She loosened her grip and pulled the hood back over his head and smiled, “You’re my personal Cheshire cat.”

Ah, that’s what he was supposed to be.

“ah, wonderland, that the theme alphys was going for… so i guess you’re the white queen… or rabbit… both?” Sans looked at the watch with thoughtfulness, “i read those books to pap a long time ago, so i’m a bit rusty with them. but i think she was going for both.” He then sighed and looked up at Tori again, “alright, i’ll wear this out of the room as long as you help me avoid undyne. so, uh, if i take a short cut and leave you seemingly alone with her, don’t worry, i’m just out of sight. i won't leave you. i promise.”

Tori frowned a little, “I’m sorry if I got in between you two. I’m sure you’d both be closer if I wasn’t here.”

“not really, t. the only thing that kept us from killing each other all these years was pap. our personalities just don’t mesh well. she’s all energetic, motivated, and aggressive while I’m laid back, lazy, and punny.”

They sat a moment longer, which gave Sans the time he needed to calm his magic. Once he felt stable, Sans stood and stretched his arms up to maximize stretching out his back as much as possible. This action caused a few good pops from his spine, relieving some tension.

Toriel giggled, and when Sans smiled back at her she said in an amused tone, “I’m beginning to think you’re more cat like than you know.” He looked away as she stood, and considered what she said. Okay, she had him there. Based on what he knows of cats, he did have a cat personality. She didn’t let him think long though, as she continued, “Well, Alphys was hoping you’d go through the True Lab with her. I figured you could, after we stop off in the Ruins to get our things. I asked if I could come and she said it was fine with her as long as you’re fine with it.”

Sans thought for a moment. She must have sent the amalgamates home then or she was hoping Sans would say ‘no.’ Welp, if it was the latter, she should know that he won’t say ‘no’ to Tori that easy. She must have since she did send the hoodie, “i’m feline with it. a-fur all, i did purrmise to tell you about myself; and, there is a distinct pawsability something may come up while we are there.”

Tori was laughing, and she reached out for his hand which he willingly gave, “Oh the tails you may tell.”

  He just wanted to stay. Forget the rest of the underground, other than Grillby and Alphys, he really didn’t care what was going on out there. Well, maybe Undyne too, even if there were bitter feelings. Still, he tried hiding this, though he was sure Toriel could see right through him. He was, after all, just bone.

If he was inclined to place a wager, he’d bet she felt the same. The main difference is, Tori has a sense of duty. Sans, on the other hand, was not above just running away. At one time, responsibility really meant something to him, but life saw an end to that. For now, he will let Tori’s integrity guide him, and avoid pressuring her to go against her conscience. After all, that sounds like a lot of work.

Knowing what he should do, Sans ambled down to the room he had called his own prior to sharing with Tori. While he had somewhat moved in with her, the move was not complete. He suspected that was to keep his messes out of her space. Honestly, he was fine with that. It took a while to gather the few things he called his own. He was tempted to leave most of it, though, he’d be the worst pet rock owner if he left Geode behind. And there were the clothes Tori insisted on getting him. He wasn’t about to waste her money by leaving them behind. In the end, he packed up more things he ever thought he would. He chuckled to himself at the oddity of this. It was uncomfortable in a way, as he was never one for worrying about his own things.

Things can disappear...

He opted to ignore that thought and started toward the sitting room. Tori should need longer, he figured, so he would wait. Though, he should check to make sure she didn’t need help first. He paused at her room, or their room. It was still mostly Tori’s, but she insisted he started using it more. Memories of the nights they spent here did cause an ache in his soul. That feeling vanished as he saw Tori sitting on her bed, tear matted fur under her eyes.

“hey, tori?” but she didn’t reply or look at him. Instead, her gaze was focused on a book. As he got closer he saw it was a photo album, within, were a series of smiling faces. All young and most human, save for one monster, which he could see a clear resemblance. It didn’t take much thought to figure out that was her son, Asriel. Sans looked from the album and back up to her, he understood now what was wrong. This house had been where she had lived with those human children for varying degrees of time. Leaving was not going to be easy, even if it ended up being good for her.

He remembered her being subdued when she came to the kingdom to rule after Asgore’s death. Had she felt these feelings before, during that time? She went from one place filled with painful memories to another, then back again only to repeat the process yet again. Well, this time she is not alone.

Sans walked closer and climbed up on the bed next to her. Finally, he saw her head move slightly, acknowledging him being there, though she did not say anything. He just leaned against her and closed his eye sockets. He wrapped an arm around her back the best he could, just being there for her seemed like the best opinion.

Tori seemed to accept it as he felt her lean slightly into him, though he regretted he was not bigger, so she would feel able to lean on him more. They sat in silence until Tori finally felt ready to talk, “Thank you, Sans.”

“don’t mention it, tori,” he replied.

“Was it hard for you when you left home?”

“heh,” Sans sighed and shook his head, “in a way, but i really didn’t want to go home. not to an empty, quiet house that i was used to being full of a happy, loud brother.”

They sat in silence again before Tori nodded, “I understand that, I might have felt that way if I was in the same situation.”

“i heard someone say that how we all grieve is different, t. that includes when we grieve too. took a while before i properly did,” Sans sighed.

“It is continual. I’m not going to be able to wake up one morning and never shed a tear ever again for Chara, Asriel, or any of my children. But,” she closed the photo album with a shuddering sigh, “I can now move forward.”

Sans watched as she stood and placed the book in her bag to go with her. In that moment she looked so stoic and elegant. She wasn’t just physically strong, that was clear to see. When she looked up at him, with a smile, he smiled back. His grin must have been a little weird as he saw her snout wrinkle a little as she held back a giggle.

He tried to shift the focus, “so, uh, want help packing?”

“No, I think I’ve got it. Thank you for asking. But, please stay, I need the company,” she looked happy save for a hint of sorrow in her eyes. It was masked well enough that to most it would be easy to overlook, but he spotted it.

“sure thing, t,” he offered a reassuring smile and stayed with her as she finished collecting her things.

He sat and watched, patient as always, as she worked. Then again, patience is easy when it is doubly easy to fall asleep. It was Toriel touching his cheek that woke him up. He hadn’t meant to drift off like that.

“Hello, dear one,” she said, lowering her head down, looking at him eye to eye.

“heya, tori,” he smiled back at her, lost in her eyes.

They had kiss plenty of times before; so, when Toriel leaned in close that was what Sans was expecting to happen. What he hadn’t expected was her nose to nuzzle over his nasal bone and cavity. Nor was he expecting how it would feel. How warm, soft, velvety, and ticklish it would be as her nose rubbed where his would have been. It felt good. He chuckled and tried to nuzzle back, though he doubted it would have even half of the same effect. Still, it caused her to continue and even push him over on to his back, not that he would ever mind.

It wasn’t until they were both a fit of giggles did the nuzzling stop. They remained on the bed, on top of the sheets. Tori was cuddling him so close that he had no option but to cuddle back. Again, he wasn’t about to mind. It felt good. It felt like home. If only…

If only Papyrus was alive…

And at least one of the kids for Tori. All would be great, but one didn’t seem too much to ask for. Yet, each one became lost to her, one way or another. It didn’t seem fair. Sans thought he was a good brother. He’d never admit to great, but good? Sure. And Tori? She had to be the greatest mother down here. Despite these facts, Sans was sans a brother and Tori, a child.

Sans managed to free his left arm from her embrace so he could pet Tori’s ear. In response, she started to laugh, which sent shivers through him. No matter how many times he heard that sound, it was always beautiful. Every “ha”, every undignified snort, and every adorable bleat just felt like a grand piece of artwork.

They stayed like that until, eventually, Tori’s sense of responsibility caught up with her.

  With one of Sans’s shortcuts, they were in front of the laboratory of Dr. Alphys in no time. Sans was about to knock but Toriel put a hand on his shoulder and smiled, “I’ve got one, may I?”

She smiled big as he took a step back and gestured toward the door in a half bow to let her know it was all hers. Knocking twice she heard a voice within call, “W-who is it?”

“Purr,” Toriel called back.

She heard footsteps as Dr. Alphys walked closer, obvious confusion in her voice as she replied, “Wait, w-what? Purr who?”

“Purr-haps you could open the door be-fur too long?” Toriel smiled as she heard Sans holding back a snicker beside her.

“i figured it was about time for us to get hare, so white don’t you let us in,” Sans added and the two laughed.

Alphys opened the door, allowing them to enter. Toriel was amazed as she walked in and looked around the lab. Other than the mess here and there, especially around the computer desk, it looked impressive. She looked back to Alphys to say something, but she noticed Sans was staring at the Doctor. His hood obscured his face, but she had an idea of what it looked like as Alphys avoided looking at him.

“Sans?” She said, trying to get his attention from the Doctor.

It worked, and he turned to face her. She is sure his eye sockets were not lit as his head turned. But, by the time he finished turning his head, they were. Frowning, she wondered what that was about, “yes, my queen?”

“S-Sans!” Toriel felt herself blush.

“what?” He said as he walked over to her, “right al? she’s a mix of the white queen and the white rabbit.” Alphys nodded slightly, her scales a slight pink around her face, but he wasn’t paying attention. He must have noticed he caused Toriel to feel flustered and decided to play with that a bit as she had done to him in the past. “so, if i’m your cheshire cat, as i seem to remember you saying,” he said before purposefully rubbing against Toriel’s side while making a purring like sound, “then you’re my queen.”

There was a squealing like sound coming from the part of the room Alphys was in. Toriel saw her face scales were a red color now and her hands were pressed, palms together in front of her snout. Sans had flinched and froze in place, his face showing signs of sudden regret. Slowly he turned to face Alphys, his voice made an eerie echoing sound as he said, “D O N ’ T”

There was an odd, twisted grin on Alphys face, “I dare you to stop me.”

Toriel was confused by what was going on between them. She looked down at Sans who is palming his face muttering something to himself. Alphys, on the other hand, was giggling as if gleefully enjoying Sans’s embarrassment. “I think I’m missing something,” Toriel finally said, admitting she was at a complete loss.

“al likes to write what is called ‘fanfiction.’ the only problem is, she has a bad habit of not just writing about fictional characters, but also real people,” Sans said as he slowly pulled his hand down from his face, “and i, stupidly, and without thinking, just threw fuel onto that fire.”

“Oh,” Toriel said before what Sans told her fully sunk in, “Oooooh…” She stood there quietly as a guilty feeling washed over her, “May… may I read it?”

“what?!” Sans said, his voice getting surprisingly loud for him.

“Of course!” Alphys clapped happily and sprang into action, practically skipping across the lab to them as she rattled on almost incoherently about the fiction she was working on. She then blushed, again as she offered Toriel a small stack of printed papers that she had placed in a folder, “um, well... I-I won’t say anymore a-about it... Um… if you w-want to do some proofreading, well, uh... that would be, erm, appreciated.”

“I can do that, thank you,” Toriel smiled, glancing in the folder and making a mental note of the story’s title, The Door. How fitting.

“you really shouldn’t encourage her,” Sans sighed.

Chuckling, Toriel reached over and lightly tugged on one of the false ears on Sans’s hood. She saw one of his hands reach up and tug down on the hood to cover his face as he looked away. A patient smile crossed her mouth, feeling herself blush as she watched him. Setting the folder to the side to pick up when they leave, she turned back to Sans, who was still averting his eye lights. She could understand that all of this together has been hard on his ego, and decided to ease back a little bit… after they get to the lab. Reaching down she hugged him and lifted him up. He chuckled, and she felt him start to relax, “Now, as some may say, ‘to the lab!’” In her head, she heard a voice she thought she remembered saying that, but with far more enthusiasm. As to who the owner of that voice was, she couldn’t remember.

Alphys giggled and led the way to the elevator, “E-excuse the mess. I, um, don’t go down there m-much. I’ve also k-kept most of it locked off… so, uh… I haven’t seen i-it in a while.” She stepped off the elevator and flicked on a light. Pausing, Alphys looked back at Sans, “I-I’ve been, um, thinking of the f-fact you used to work here. And, um… w-well, I think I k-kind of remember t-that. Yet, I don’t? I remember being an i-intern here, and, um… that’s it. I don’t remember what I worked on then.”

“you and pretty much everyone underground,” Sans put a hand on Toriel’s shoulder, signaling he wanted to be put down. She carefully set him down and Sans took her hand to escort her off the elevator.

“How is that?” Toriel asked, “I remember that there was a royal scientist before Alphys, but I also have no memory of them.”

Sans let go of her hand and looked around the room. He shuffled towards a door as if by memory and looked about to open it when Alphys quickly moved over and started to unlock it for him. He looked back at Toriel as he waited, “who made the core? something so important, surely every monster in the underground would know the name of the person who invited our energy source.”

Toriel started to speak but stopped, she had never thought of that before, and her mind was drawing a blank. What Sans said made sense, and yet no matter how hard she tried she could not think of the name of the person who created the CORE. She looked at Alphys who was deep in thought.

Both herself and Alphys looked to Sans whose eyes darkened before he gave a low, humorless chuckle and walked through the door. No, humorless wasn’t the right word for that one. It was more of a tired chuckle, one she might have heard from a monster who wanted to acknowledge that they found something humorous but was too tired to laugh. That caused Toriel to give pause, remembering what he had said. All the things he ends up remembering, and yet this is another thing that he alone seems to be the sole keeper.

“his name was dr. w.d. gaster. he was a brilliant man, though a little off kilter at times, especially when he had a big idea in his head. i remember... working with him… i remember what some of our projects were about though, in a hazy, foggy way. i knew him as a person too, and i remember that i knew him, but my memories of him are cloudy and weak.” Walking down the halls he ran his bony fingers along the wall and looked around. His voice seemed at peace, yet his body seemed tense; as if expecting something bad to happen at any moment.

His cautiousness lead her to feel uneasy. “it’s funny, i remember having some of the happiest memories i can’t remember here… and yet… there is a nagging feeling… not sure, it just feels like something bad happened,” He looked back at Toriel and Alphys, “weird, huh?”

Toriel looked around. The halls were a neutral, sterile white color that made the area bright but not warm. There were doors spread along the walls, some labeled as the office of one person’s or another's. She wondered if one of them would be Sans’s, and what state he would have left it in.

“Sans, w-what happened to Dr. Gaster?” Alphys asked quietly.

The skeleton stopped and shrugged, “one of those things i don’t remember, but i think it was an accident. if i had to guess it was with our, uh, time and space experiments.”

“Time and space?” Toriel heard herself ask. She bit her lip, curious but at the same time unsure he wanted to talk about it as she could hear a heaviness in his tone.

“yeah, see, gaster discovered what we just called ‘shortcuts.’  and he wondered if it would be possible to apply what we learned, about moving through space, to time. we did, kind of, but we needed to do so on a much larger scale. for what, eh, i don’t remember, but i do remember he was the type to ask why after he invented something,” Sans shrugged and looked at Alphys, “so, we made a machine to do that with, though i don’t remember it working. anyway, he somehow wrote himself out of history in every way possible. it’d make sense to me if that was the project,” Sans then frowned, “but, uh, i’m not sure. he might have just fallen in the core for all i know. always wondered why he never put safety rails up.

“so, al, what did you need me for?” Sans put his hands in his pockets, wearing a smile on his face. But his voice told a different story. As even toned as he may believe he was keeping it, she didn’t hear the happiness his smile claimed. Months of just knowing him by voice alone had taught her that. It wasn’t that he was upset or scared. He just looked emotionally tired being here. Perhaps, having memories that he wished to, but couldn’t, remember was weighing on him. Or perhaps there were things he didn’t want to remember? No, she highly doubted the latter. She wasn’t sure why, but that didn’t feel right.

Alphys waved for him to follow and they walked down the hall chatting about matters she had to admit to herself she knew nothing about. Toriel noticed at one-point Sans glancing back at her as if checking to make sure she was alright. She smiled back at him and he winked before returning his full attention to Alphys.

As they walked past a hallway, Toriel came to a stop. A feeling of…

anger?

Or was it just annoyance or frustration?

She had been here before. She knew this hallway well, having been emotionally charged at the time she had walked down it. Toriel turned to call to Sans and Alphys, but they were so lost in their own conversation she held her tongue. Splitting off didn’t seem like the smartest idea. Yet, she felt the need to venture down this path and try to remember what it was she had been doing, or why she had been there.

No more thought had been put into which option she should take, as her feet had already started.

  Eventually Sans stopped at a set of doors labeled ‘Lab A-1.’

“There are a few things in here I don’t u-understand,” Alphys opened the door, “if you could, um, shed some l-light on what some of this is...”

“i’ll do my best al, but you’re asking a photon of me,” Sans walked in and looked around the large lab. It almost hurt, as he felt a flood of nostalgia that he struggled to understand. It felt like home, or, at least, a second home. He needed time to let these feeling calm down in his soul, and took a moment to relax. In the process, he ran a finger over a work table before examining the dust. He couldn’t help but snort as he held back laughter while a voice in his head yelled out, “UNACCEPTABLE! How can one make a mess working if there is already a mess made?!”

With a sigh, Sans put his hand back in his pocket and turned to Alphys, “where do you want me to start?”

“How about this?” Alphys asked, pointing to a pod-shaped object.

Upon seeing it, Sans couldn’t help but grin as he walked over. Ah, the memories he couldn’t remember. All he knew was that he was happy working on this, and what it was for. They really were going to try; they had an idea and thought it might solve everything. He walked over to an odd machine and walked around it. His sockets scanned it over with care, making sure it had made it through sitting in this dark and lonely place without a scratch. This was just the first attempt though; the second attempt was in his lab for safekeeping.

“this is the ‘time and space pod,’” Sans finally said as he placed a hand on it with reverence. “i wanted to make it more rectangular, paint it blue, and call it the tardis, after the machine in that human show, dr. who.”

“H-how would I know, I never saw it,” Alphys replied.

That shocked Sans and he looked at her, “no, that’s the name of… you haven’t seen it? i never showed you a single episode?”

“N-no?” Alphys gave him that smile that said, ‘you could have, but if so I didn’t like it and don’t remember it.’

Sans sighed and shook his head, “Seriously? Of all the geeky, human things you're into you’ve never heard of it?” When Dr. Alphys shrugged he looked back at the machine and patted it twice, “best store this somewhere under ‘bad idea’ unless we can clear it of the ‘possibly killed pops’ charges”

“Pops?”  Alphys looked at him in surprise.

Sans paused, noticing what he just said. It came out of his mouth so naturally too. ‘pops.’ Come to think of it, he had, in talking with Papyrus, said “dadster” a few times, instead of Gaster. Papyrus had suggested the notion of them being related...

Still, Alphys was staring at him and expecting a reply. He wasn’t sure he was fully ready to commit to the idea and just shrugged. Not to his surprise, Alphys folded her arms, “Really? You have n-no idea why you called him ‘Pops’ just then?”

“none,” he replied, feigning disinterest. It is a matter to think about later when he wasn’t already being bombarded by other emotions. He glanced over to see how Toriel was taking his avoidance of the question.

…

“uh... where’s tori?”

Alphys looked around, “oh, oh my, we must have… o-oh dear... W-well, there is n-nothing in the lab that can hurt her.”

That didn’t matter to him, and he couldn’t help but fear the worst. There was too much here he no longer knew. He walked to the lab entrance and looked up and down the hall, “tori?” She was nowhere to be seen and he heard no reply.

She was right behind them, when did she fall behind or disappear?

“tori!” he started back down the hall, the only sound in response was the patter of Alphys’s feet behind him.

He stopped at an open office to look in, as well as some of the other labs, all the while he still called for her. Alphys was right, it was safe here, now… in theory. No… it isn’t safe. There could still be things in this lab that could hurt someone who didn’t know any better. “TORI!” he hated raising his voice that loud, but he felt he had to.

A hand landed on his shoulder and he looked back to see Alphys, “Sans! Y-you need to calm down.” Alphys waved a hand in the air to direct his attention to above himself. When he looked he could see two blasters hovering over him.

He unsummoned them while uttering a curse under his breath. He’ll admit, he got more worked up than needed. He won’t find Toriel like this. Still, it isn’t safe, what was so dangerous here he wasn’t fully sure, but it wasn’t safe.

“Now, let’s look, I’m sure we’ll find her,” Alphys offered a reassuring smile. Normally, it is the other way around, with Sans calming her down. It felt weird having their roles reversed.

“heh.... yeah,” Sans tried to relax and the two started their search.

  Toriel stared at the wall ahead of her. The path she took somehow lead to a dead end that seemed to be random compared to how the rest of the lab was designed. Every hall she saw before had a purpose and lead somewhere. This one, though, was the only exception. Granted, there might have been plans for something to be here at one point that wasn’t finished. So, all there was in front of her was a wall.

She touched the wall, running her hand over it. Her head hurt as she tried to think, trying to recall the feeling she had. There really should be something else here, but she had no idea what. And trying to remember was exhausting to the point that she felt she needed to lie down. She patted the wall and started to turn back.

Sure, she reached a dead end, but she now knew she had been here before. That the little notion in her head was more than that. While she didn’t find what she had split off to look for, it did reassure her to know this new fact. Why had she been here, and why had she been so angry? Those are the next questions she will have to answer. But just trying to think about them made her head feel sharp, radiating pain from her temples. After she’s had a chance to rest, she’ll try again.

“tori!” Toriel heard Sans’s voice and looked up to see the skeleton jogging over, which was a rare sight. As he approached she could feel his magic was on edge, and she couldn’t help but feel guilty. Clearly, she had caused him to worry, which had not been her intent.

Once he was close she embraced him and sighed, “I’m sorry, I was chasing a memory and only found a headache.”

“D-do you need something for it?” Alphys asked, walking closer.

With some thought, Toriel nodded, “I think so.” Alphys told her where she could find the med kit upstairs. Within it, she would find painkillers, and the Doctor invited her to just sit and close her eyes if needed.

Sans confirmed that it won’t take them much longer and for her to just rest if her head was hurting. Though, as she turned to leave, Alphys spoke up, “Oh! One other thing.”

“Yes?” Toriel asked, looking back at the two. Sans was also looking at Alphys as if wondering what it was she had to say.

“It s-seems,” Alphys got a mischievous look on her face which did not get a happy response from Sans, who now looked worried and concerned. The Doctor ignored him though and continued without a care, “that Gaster is Sans’s father.”

“al, we don’t know that for sure,” Sans looked annoyed.

“You called him ‘Pops’,” Alphys huffed, “why else w-would you do that!”

The two started to have a small dispute over what that could mean. Toriel couldn’t follow it, as her head fogged with memories struggling to surface. Something about that was trying to draw information to the forefront, but it couldn’t. All it did was make her head feel even worse.

“tori, you okay?”

Tori didn’t remember kneeling down, but Sans was there beside her, holding her hand and looking at her with worried eye sockets. She smiled, but the room spun around her, adding a dizzying feeling to her disorientation.

“I just need to take care of this headache and lie down,” Toriel smiled at him the best she could.

“i can take us back if you want,” Sans offered, but she shook her head.

“I know, but really, I think I just need a moment. You said you won’t be much longer. That should be enough for me to feel well enough to go back to the castle.”

Sans looked at her, she could tell his sockets were searching for any hint that she may change her mind. Once he was satisfied, he nodded. He helped her up the best he could, and she made her way to the elevator. Once upstairs she found the med kit, took two pills and found a quiet place to sit. Today has not been an easy one. No wonder her head was starting to hurt.

She looked down at the dress and sighed. It was a very nice dress, but it just felt too modern for her. But, Sans clearly liked it, so she will endure it a while longer. If it meant seeing him practically buckle in on himself every time she smiled at him, it was worth it.

Toriel started to close her eyes when she remembered the story Alphys had been writing. When her body felt like it could withstand getting back up, Toriel retrieved the folder and settled back to read. For now, she intended to read only until her head hurt too much, or she decided she couldn’t take anymore.

 He stood with his back to the Ruin door, as he had done plenty of times before. The wind rushed by him, carrying a haunting tone as it moved through the trees. Snow drifting down, dancing around him. Most monsters avoid the doors of the past, but not him. They had become a game, a toy of his amusement. Today, though, they would become more.

“knock knock,” he said, in his usual quiet, masculine, deep tone of voice. One would hardly think anyone would hear it, the start of his joke. But someone did.

“Who’s there,” came the reply. Soft, sweet, and filled with feminine grace.

It startled him. And he jumped as if the doors had shocked him. The look in his eyes was a mix of panic and intrigue. Never before had he thought his knocking would be answered. There was hesitation. Perhaps he heard wrong? Needing to get out pent up energy, he shifted his feet while rubbing the back of his neck, “dishes.”

“Dishes who?” the voice replied.

He was still unsure what to think of this occurrence. It had to be a fluke. It just seemed unreal that someone would be here. “dishes a really bad joke,” he said, as he tried to settle back into his rhythm.

Just as he had started to relax she laughed, and what a laugh it was. Again, he was startled, but what he was unaware of was the faint hint of blush painting his cheekbones. His smile widened as he chuckled back. It was just them, their laughter, and the unknown camera in the bushes. Originally set to look for humans, it now captured their budding romance, under the watchful gaze of the great scientist, who would guard this love from those who would stop it.

 The writing didn’t seem bad, a bit dramatic for her taste, but it brought back memories of when they had met at the Ruin doors. She smiled while reading it, seeing his reaction clearly drawn out in her mind by Alphys’s words. It felt like him, though she didn’t believe there was a high likelihood that he was blushing at her first laugh.

End of Chapter notes:  ... This chapter started with me going "I want to dress Sans up as a cat." That's really the only thought that went into it at the start. This is the type of sophisticated logic that goes into my chapter planning, folks. Also, keep in mind, that I actually wrote this BEFORE posting the first chapter. Since then, I have seen many artists decide to dress Sans up as a cat. So, I am clearly NOT the only who thinks this is something that should happen.

[darkspace7]

Mutualism

"Two lonely souls in an empty room strike up a conversation to reminisce about the days gone by and eventually come to an understanding." [Part 2 of "Elpis"]

Words: 5,700+

Rating: T

A/N: This piece is a continuance set in the same verse as my prior fic "What Lay Within" of which is set in an alternate bad-end future ten years post canon and explores the dynamic between Shinichi Kudo and his teenaged apprentice Mitsuhiko Tsuburaya as the two attempt to navigate their lives after the fall of the Black Organization.

Contains some mentions of past/implied character death, (established) Hakuba/Aoko and Ayumi/Genta going on in the background, and our boys just generally having a bad time.

I dedicate this fic to my old laptop computer who managed to carry both me and my writing along for the greater half of eight years before it finally beeped it's last boop. My old friend, what with your cracked screen, half-broken spacebar, and semi-functioning usb ports will never be forgotten.

Detective Conan/Magic Kaito (c) Gosho Aoyama

The chatter of the crowded reception hall faded to the background as the teen shifted his awareness inward. 'Alright, I recall them mentioning they would be around here somewhere...' He stared out at the sea of unfamiliar faces that swam in and out of his vision from his little bubble amongst the crowd. 'So where...'

"Mitsuhiko-kun!"

His head swiveled to face the direction from where the call emanated and not a moment later he caught sight of the beaming pair that had flagged him over. With a smile he wove his way through the throng of well-dressed bodies to reach the massive spanse of window. "Forgive me if I made you two wait for too long but I kind of ran into a bit of trouble attempting to locate you through well-" He gestured out to the sprawl before them, "-all this. But I must say, the view from this spot is rather exquisite." The teen gave an appreciative glance to the manicured garden that lay just beyond the panes of glass.

"Oh don't trouble yourself too much about it. The fact that you were even able to come at all is what really matters. Isn't that right Genta?" A somewhat pointed look was leveled at the larger teen who nodded in response.

"Yeah. Took your sweet damn time too. Thought you'd never get your ass over here." The snorted comment made around a forkful of cake earned a sharp retort from his partner.

"And whose fault would that be? If a certain somebody had stayed over where he had promised to wait instead of getting distracted by some slices of raspberry-lemon cake then maybe he wouldn't have had to come looking for us."

Another bite disappeared into his maw as he shrugged, "They were gonna run out if I didn't 'Yumi. Totally worth it if you ask me." He gestured to the stocky teen with his utensil. "'Sides not like he cares, right?"

Ayumi's response to this was nothing more than an utterly flat look aimed at the teen. "Genta-"

Having sensed the ominous turn in the conversation, the freckled teen cut off the soon to be diatribe with a shake of the head. "No, no! Don't worry, like Kojima-kun said, it isn't that big of a deal. Really." Mitsuhiko tacked on at the sight of her dubious stare. "Anyway..." Quickly, he sought to drag the conversation's flow into somewhat different waters with the hope that it would distract his friend from her ire with the crass teen.

"I've been meaning to ask, are you entirely certain it is alright for me to be here with you guys?" A touch of hesitance flavoured his tone as he cast a slightly nervous glance around the room. "I mean it isn't as if I received an official invitation after all."

"Dude, chill. Back when we were still bringing stuff in I went and asked Aoko-san if my girlfriend could tag along and she seemed cool with it then so she probably wouldn't mind if another gatecrasher got tossed in the mix." The rotund teenager shrugged, "And if anyone does say anything –not that they're gonna– we could always just vouch for you." He made to spear another bit of confectionery with his fork only to have it return sans cake. At the noticeable lack of dessert on his plate he pulled a face and went on, "Besides don't you know the groom or whatever?"

"Huh? What? O-Of course!" He shook his head slightly, flustered. "Ah well...sort of? Not exactly, I know of him but I don't know him. N-Not to say I don't want to know him someday because I do. Very much." The teen froze a beat before heavily palming his heated face with a grimace, "Wait, no, that sounds…urgh." He held up a hand, "Just…give me a second."

One slow breath in –hold it– then release. Alright then, let's try this again. "Most of the information I've gathered concerning Hakuba-san is from prior case files as well as a few accounts of those who actually have had a chance to work with him. But I, myself, have never had any interactions with the man, yet. Does…Does that make any sense? So not necessarily a no but more of a… kind of?" He finished lamely, dark eyes drifting to the carpet as a dusting of red tinted his cheeks. How embarrassing.

(Though perhaps it was a good thing that, having long been party to his somewhat spastic displays, neither teen so much as batted an eyelash at this behaviour and simply moved on with a nonchalant half-shrug and a muttered "close enough".)

"Say Genta..." The girl turned to her partner, presumably to ask him a question or something of that nature before suddenly; she stopped and narrowed her eyes, head tilting to the side ever just so.

"…What?" He shied away a bit, somewhat startled (and mildly unnerved) by the set of blues now focused so intently upon him.

"Ah…You have a little bit of something…Hold on, let me get it for you." She began to rifle through her bag in complete disregard to the other's protests.

Previous embarrassment willfully forgotten in favour of this new bit of intrigue, the long familiar urge to just sit back and watch how things unfolded welled forth unbidden. And he allowed it; having settled back against the glass to tune in for the latest episode of his favourite show.

"Hey h-hold on just a minute! Ugh, here we go again." The teen groaned in mock exasperation, "Just because there's an itty-bitty mess every now and again doesn't make it so you have to go all forensics on us 'Yumi. Seriously, there's really no need to go digging through that thing." He said as he eyed the handbag with the same level of wariness as one would give a particularly vicious wild animal that was keyed to go off if one even dared to breathe wrong in their general direction. Which, knowing some of Ayumi's more experimental trinkets... wasn't an incorrect assumption.

"Oh, you sure about that?" She drawled, having finally located and tugged free her handkerchief (an older pastel number that seemed to have been worn soft from use) from where it had lay and went to work. "I mean, what with how you're always such a huge mess around those sweet treats." A teasing lilt played at painted lips as she tapped the solitary remnant of his sugary dessert. "Dear."

"Come on." He sputtered. A vibrant streak of red lit up tanned features as he seemed steadfastly determined to look anywhere but young woman before him. "That's just unfair." Genta grumbled with a slight whine.

"All's fair in love and war Genta, all's fair." She hummed a bit. And then frowned, "Oh for the love of...would you just hold still?" Her cheeks puffed out a bit in a pout. Tenderly, she swiped the cloth against the spot in order to collect that errant crumb. "Honestly, putting up such a fuss over a tiny piece of frosting. And...There!" She smiled triumphantly. "All gone." With a giggle she leaned up and pressed a quick peck to the tanned cheek. "Now was that so bad?" She stepped back and watched as he sputtered then proceeded to flush an even deeper shade of red.

Mitsuhiko ducked his head and turned away, valiantly attempting to fend away the smile that had threatened to form. It was always nice to see his two closest friends happy together and genuinely just enjoying the company of one another. But even so, he could not help as the smallest twinge of something settled deep within his heart. That feeling –despite its briefness– had successfully run its course, sapping away at the happiness until it was nothing but a ghost of its former self. Quickly, he fought to stave off any inkling of this from bleeding into his features lest anyone catch sight and ask him what was wrong. After all, no one wanted to be that guy at a wedding.

Exhaling slowly, he allowed himself to fall back into that familiar detached calm that had served him well in his tenure as detective. A practised eye trailed over the forms of his friends, absorbing the information present and storing it in the back of his mind for a later date. 'It's almost second nature by now,' he mused, 'to look upon something and be able to piece together a functioning narrative from every seemingly inconsequential bit and bobble scattered about.'

Even now he couldn't help but observe. Small things, such as how Ayumi's outfit appeared to be some sort of variant of a halter-neck tulle dress that meshed quite well with the black bejeweled clip pinning back her hair, or how the tiny price tag that clung stubbornly to that bag of untold horrors marked it as being from that small family-owned boutique that was less than fifteen minutes away from their current location, or even the fact that Genta had somehow managed to sneak in those fashionable sunset toned sneakers along with formal outfit that that his partner had no doubt coerced him into wearing; all of this and more was crystal clear to his inquisitive gaze.

...As was the fact that the young couple had apparently become so enamored with one another they seemed to have forgotten his presence entirely. Great. 'Nothing like seeing your two best friends making out with one another to further cement your status as the awkward third-wheel...And, yep. They're still going at it. Well, this is uncomfortable...' The youth let his attention drift out towards the reception hall in the hopes of finding something –anything– to distract himself. And not a second later it appeared as though he managed to find it in the familiar form of something –or rather– someone.

'Huh? Isn't that...Sensei?'

And indeed it was. The great detective had stationed himself between a set of secondary entryways and looked to be about as comfortable with everything in the crowded room as Mitsuhiko himself felt at the moment. He took note on how the other's gaze remained fixated upon something off in the distance, although as for what exactly was unclear. What was clear, however, was how the elder man seemed –for lack of a better word– distracted. No, not distracted. Troubled. But why?

Carefully, the teen traced the line of sight to its end which appeared to be a small table ensconced away in semi-private niche toward the front of the room that was now populated by both the new bride and groom. The man, who he knew to be Habuka-san smiled brightly at the woman in white (who could only be none other than Miss Aoko) as they carried on what appeared to be a rather engaging conversation. Every now and again a mustachioed man (presumably the father of the bride) would interject and earn a smile or a round of laughter from the table's other residents.

'Maybe something to do with them perhaps?' The brunette contemplated this as they carried on for a bit. Curiosity peaked when he saw the older man get up from the table after exchanging a few more words with the groom then a reassuring smile aimed at the pair as he took his leave, presumably to take care of something.

'Could something have happened?' He wondered, before quickly dismissing the notion. Neither party appeared to be overly concerned judging by the gentle looks of love the newlyweds sent one another and the genuine laughter of their peers so it was unlikely that there was something out of the ordinary there. 'So something else then?'

Confused, he turned back again just in time to catch sight of the bride as she put her hand to her mouth to muffle a snort, the gentle movement shifting the veil away from her luminous face and...oh.

Oh.

It was as though the air had been knocked from his lungs as a pool of something ice cold sat heavily in his stomach. Dark eyes quickly shifted back to their original target and he hissed through his teeth when flicker of something pained and familiar and unspeakably private flitted through those darkened blue eyes. And then just like that he was gone, having slipped back through the door without a trace.

And then suddenly, Mitsuhiko was moving.

He wove through scores of guests, transfixed on the spot where he had seen the other disappear. So focused to the point was he that it almost brought about a collision with another partygoer which only a quick-timed twist did he narrowly manage to avoid. "Sorry!" He tossed back as he caught a fleeting glimpse of dark hair and surprised garnet eyes. All of which were quickly dismissed and allowed to slip to the back of his mind.

(And while normally he would not be so rude as to do a thing like straight up crash into people and speed off without so much as a by-your-leave his civilities had, for the moment, been set aside in favour of more pressing matters. He would, however, in time find himself recalling this fateful moment and the cascading series of events that were to follow. But that was another story for different time and different place.)

Having reached the entry he stopped in his tracks. The lobby was, for the most part, empty. Understandable seeing as the majority of guests present were either inside enjoying the festivities or traipsing about the garden. This vacancy should have made it relatively easy to spot the wayward detective but as it stood he couldn't see hide nor hair of the man. The teen glanced about a moment before he lit upon a group of bridesmaids chatting off to the side. Perhaps they could provide some manner of clue to Sensei's whereabouts?

"Ah excuse me." The group's chatter petered out as they turned to regard his approach. "Sorry to interrupt but by chance have any of you happened to see a man come through here just now?" Exchanging a glance, they shook their heads.

"Sorry. We just came from the restroom where we were fixing our makeup. So even if there had been someone we couldn't tell." One of them spoke, a small frown on her face.

"Ah wait!" Another piped in. "But wasn't Momoi waiting for us out here though?" She and the others turned to the bespectacled woman expectantly. "Right?"

"Aah w-well..." She stuttered, feeling somewhat awkward about suddenly being thrust into the spotlight. "Um actually...I think there was a guy that came out through that door right there. Just a few minutes before you did."

"Did you see where he went?"

She thought for a second then nodded. "Mhm. I think I saw him headed towards the stairs."

"Thank you." Mitsuhiko tipped his head appreciatively before setting off once again. 'Wait for me Shinichi-san.'

                                                     (DCMK)

While the teen could not exactly be called unfit (thanks to many an hour spent idly pitching baseballs around after school) the run up had still managed to knock the wind from him so he leaned back against the doorway and took a moment to catch his breath. As it slowly steadied he allowed his gaze to wander.

Like its sibling below, the room with which he was now faced had been built to a mirrored scale with an identical colour scheme and general overall design, but it was there where their similarities came to an end. For while the former had been grandiose and richly festooned for momentous occasions –such as the one currently being held– this place carried itself with a somewhat more muted and almost lounge-like air. To the teenaged detective it was almost as if someone had pulled back the curtain on a set that had been half-built so there was nothing else, save for the empty stage in which they now stood.

Which made sense, he supposed, seeing as this room wasn't actually supposed to be in use right now. Although, if the shadowy figure parked firmly over by the bank of glass or even his own presence were any indication this little bit was to be ignored, if only or the moment.

'Though if this is to be the stage would that make us the actors, then?' He mused. 'Shame I haven't a clue as to my lines.'

"Took you long enough."

"You knew." It wasn't so much of a question but rather a flat statement. Wryly shaking his head, he pushed up and away from the doorframe and made his way over to the man's side. He smiled, "I should have figured. So what was it that tipped you off? The reflection in the window-" A tip of the head toward the glass and the faint twinkling of city lights beyond it. "Or was it the echoes in the stairwell?" He hadn't exactly been quiet.

"Neither." He shrugged, slipping his hands into his pockets. "At the reception hall I felt you watching me from across the room. You weren't exactly being subtle." He gave him a dry look.

Ah, that was right he had almost forgotten. The man had always seemed to be able to sense whenever he was under the object of scrutiny without fail. And while it made sense, all things considered, for the other to posses such a trait, that did not make it any less eerie.

"Ah, sorry." He flushed slightly. "I just didn't expect to see you here. To be honest, if it weren't for those two I wouldn't even be here myself."

"I considered it, seeing as I wasn't able to make it on time for the wedding." At Mitsuhiko's inquiring glance he elaborated, "Case at the station platform. Guy was stabbed in the back and had it made to look like robbery gone wrong, killer turned out to be the guy's flatmate who was pissed at him for sleeping with his lover behind his back."

"Ah."

"Yeah." He sighed, "But even after all of that I thought I might as well go ahead to drop off their gift as opposed to spending any more hours on the train. Besides, I had already traveled all this way and I figured I owed that to them at least. Wasn't like this night was going to get any worse right?" A snort of derision escaped him and he let his gaze fall to the side. "Honestly, I might have been better off staying at home." And although the other couldn't see it, he could hear it the softening of his tone.

Mitsuhiko shuffled awkwardly on the balls of his feet, unsure as to what he could possibly contribute without the high probability it backfiring spectacularly. Thankfully he was spared of chance when the other startled him from his reverie with a bout of nasty coughs. "Hey, are you okay?"

"H-Hold..." Shinichi wheezed out between sputters. "G-Give... me a-" He held up a hand, grimaced, and tried again."...Yeah...I'm fine..." Once the fit had subsided for the most part he managed a wan smile. "I'm fine." He repeated, stronger this time. "...Hah...Sorry I've just been a bit under the weather, nothing serious mind you but just a bit of holdover from before. It's been making me kind of irritable lately. Don't worry about it."

The teen's expression showed exactly what he thought about that little statement. As a fellow detective -no- as his friend there was no way he was going to let him play this off. Any of it. "Are you really though?"

"Huh? Yeah like I said it's nothing, probably just another cold-"

"That's not what I was talking about." The other zeroed on him with that razor focus, a touch miffed at being cut off. The scene from earlier flickered in his mind's eye and yet again he found himself faced with those haunted blues. He shook his head to rid himself of the image. "Back there, in the reception hall..." Though he began slowly –hesitant– his voice gradually gained traction as he went, "You had this look about you. As if... As if you had seen a ghost or something right before you just straight up and bolted. That doesn't exactly scream 'everything's alright' now does it?" Dark brows knitted together in concern as he finally lifted his head to meet the other's stare head on. "Shinichi-san, can you tell me what's wrong?"

Shinichi regarded him for a number, that knife-like gaze which made a score of weaker men crumble bored into the very fabric of his being; sorting through his thoughts and actions until nothing but the truth remained. Yet where suspicion and mistrust were expected there was only the honest worry of a kid who wished to know if he was alright. "Unbelievable..." He muttered.

With a resigned air he scrubbed a hand over his weary features. The lines of tension in the teen's frame and quiet set of his jaw was not unfamiliar sight for the older man and he knew then and there that the other simply wasn't going to drop it until he had come to an answer. It was a trait that he found both honourable and vexing in equal measure and ultimately what caused him to sigh.

"It's just-" The words seemed hard-pressed to leave his lips, as if it physically pained him to do so and for a moment Mitsuhiko felt a twinge of regret. Perhaps it would've been better if he just had let sleeping detectives lie but before he could voice this the elder had managed to work through the knot and spoke, "Just...when I saw the two of them together –saw her– I just...I couldn't help it. I didn't think that..." He stopped, a noise of frustration left his lips as a hand raked through once tidy hair. "She looked just like she did back then. Before..."

Mitsuhiko winced. "...I'm sorry." And he truly meant it. "How long would it have been now?" He asked softly.

"Two years this May."

"It isn't easy is it?" Taking the silence as a note to continue he went on. "Dealing with the ache and sorrow and all those other things that you don't even have a name for yet can't help feeling; of every little thing reminding you about them to the point it becomes downright maddening..." Fists clenched at his side, little crescent moons dug into the soft flesh of his palms. "O-Or even just the knowledge that you will simply never be able to see them again." Dimmed eyes sat upon the horizon as the rueful ghost of a smile flit into place. "The whole lot of it just...sucks."

"B-But." He swallowed. (When had his throat become so dry?) "But then...you find that no matter how terrible it all gets and how unfair everything seems the world just... marches on." No, seriously, what the hell was he even saying at this point? He just kept going off the top of his head but for some inexplicable reason he just...couldn't seem to stop. So he didn't.

"All the days and months and years just keep on ticking by and then all that s-stuff starts to get covered up by other stuff and then you s-start to n-notice that-" And there came the crash. Dark eyes clamped shut as he stalled with an inaudible hiss.

('Easy now Mitsuhiko, easy. One slow breath in –hold it– then release...There isn't anyone else here right now. It's okay. You're okay. Breath, just breathe.')

So he did. One right after another, over and over again; just breathing. And the impossibly tight coil that had progressively wove itself around his airway seemed to constrict for moment before it suddenly reversed and the tension that had laced his frame had little by little begun to bleed away with every passing breath.

"Y-You notice..." He began again once he had sufficiently calmed, "That while that pain and sadness isn't exactly gone and probably never will be it..." The teen let out a shaky chuckle as he reopened his eyes, "It doesn't hurt as much as it did before. You know?"

A light of comprehension dawned in Shinichi's eyes and a look of pitied understanding ghosted briefly across his features. "Ah...that's right. Your mother, didn't she...?"

Mitsuhiko nodded with a vague noise of confirmation. It had been over a decade prior, yet he thought back to that time he could recall it with the utmost clarity. Back to that damned phone call and whirlwind flight that followed, to when his father had finalized the decision to pack up and head overseas with him and his sister in tow without so much as a by-your-leave, of finally learning why: that his mother had been caught in a accident when visiting extended family abroad and that the doctor's prognosis was grim. The months of waiting and waiting and hoping that she would get better and be able to come back home with them. How one day she just simply...wasn't there anymore. And how everything just sort of...went completely downhill after that.

He had been only a child at the time but that didn't mean that he didn't remember. And he said as much.

"...Back when we first moved those two would call me all hours of the day, you know?" He shifted, folding his arms across his chest. "And you want to hear something? They liked to talk about you guys all the time."

"That so?" The other perked up, seemingly intrigued by this admission.

"Mnh always used to sound so happy over the phone when they did too. Spouting things like 'Shinichi-niichan came over today while we were at the Professor's and how cool it was that he showed us how to solve this locked-room trick' and ' you know how Ran-neechan knows karate and stuff? Well I asked her to show me some of her moves and we wound up totally flipping this one creep...' That sort of thing." A fond smile graced his lips. "I must've cost my dad a fortune in international calls."

"Oh! Don't even get me started about when Kojima-kun started with his cooking lessons." He groaned in faux-anguish. "All he messaged me for months were pictures of the food and stuff that he tried to make." He shook his head.

"I remember that." The elder detective chuckled reminiscently. "He honestly was quite terrible. Eel should have never been prepared that way..." He intoned with a faint shudder. Although the teen really had came a long way since then the fact that whenever the boy went to cook something the only things that ever seemed to come out right were pastries and sweets continued to baffle him to this day.

"Yeah. But you know back then...being able to listen to their stories, to hear about how you, Ran-neesan, Haibara-san, and everybody else were doing...It was nice. It helped...quite a bit, actually." A short beat. "Even if you guys did get in way too much trouble. Really, the amount of cases the Shonen Tantei had back then simply by just hanging around you bordered on the realms of ludicrous-"

"Oi."

"-and while I'll admit that I don't put much stock in superstition I can sort of see where that whole 'shinigami' rumour circulating around Division One came from and honestly if it weren't for that 'curse' I don't suppose any of us would have learned proper crime scene etiquette." He continued to mutter. "Or how to handle a dead body for that matter."

The teen glanced up to find an indescribably flat look aimed his way. That lasted a few seconds before a more contemplative one slid into its place and once more he was faced with the detective's unnerving stare. "So you really were the one who went through my stuff." He stated apropos of nothing.

Mitsuhiko started. Because –seriously– what the hell? Apparently this reaction was confirmation enough because the other just shrugged with a disarming nonchalance that had alarm bells going off immediately in the teen's mind.

"I mean-" He casually went on, "-seeing as if an outside source had ever decided to attempt to enter my study without my knowledge I would know and that two out of the three people that currently do have access to my home would have the neither the inclination nor opportunity to do so and since the time frame seemed to sync up it only serves to further paint you as the culprit..." He shrugged once more with that faux indifference. "Plus you just pretty much gave yourself away."

And oh wow was he upset wasn't he? The taught lines of tension that faintly coursed through his frame, belying the calm air he put upon himself. The teen could almost feel the other's silent accusation at the perceived betrayal and damn if that didn't sting. Well it wasn't as if he hadn't seen this coming. After all, it had only been a matter of time before the hammer fell and he had brought it down upon himself with that thrice-damned curiosity of his so by rights he was going to have to own up to this mess. (And if he had to drop down to his hands and knees to grovel for the other's forgiveness then so be it.)

"I'm so sorry. I was just trying to pick things up a bit when you got sick that one time but one of the files got knocked to the floor. I really wasn't trying to snoop but..."

"But you're a detective and curiosity got the better of you." He suddenly sounded so tired it made Mitsuhiko want to cringe and shrivel up inside himself just a bit.

"I'm sorry." He repeated faintly, feeling absolutely awful about the whole deal. Short of massive head trauma, there was nothing he could do that would be able to take back what he had seen in there and the knowledge that came with it and they both knew it. And it was with this thought weighing heavily on their minds they fell into an uneasy silence.

"..."

"..."

"...So."

Mitsuhiko shifted slightly. "So?"

"You probably have...questions, right?"

"...I'd be lying if I said that I didn't." The admission seemed to make the man sink a bit but it wasn't unexpected. "But!" He ploughed on ahead, "You know? I'm not going to ask." This seemed to draw Shinichi up short as he shot him a sharp glance.

"...Why?"

'Why indeed.' No, he knew why. It was because...

"Because..." His arms dropped down to hang at his side. "Because even though you may be my mentor you are first and foremost my friend Shinichi-san." And between friends there must be at least some measure of trust or else the relationship will crumble. Even he knew that. "You have your own very good reasons for not wanting to talk about any of that. And I'm not going to force you to. But-" Dark eyes met startled blues. "-just so you know, if you ever do need to talk to someone, well...don't forget that there are others willing to shoulder those burdens along with you okay?" They held one another's gaze, each party searching for something unspoken in the other and after a moment it seemed that they found it.

"...Thanks, Mitsuhiko-kun." A tentative smile.

"Don't mention it. I won't." Lips quirked up in a shy but earnest grin. "I mean, what kind of detective would I be if I didn't know how to keep an open mind and at least a modicum of plausible deniability?"

"A pretty damn terrible one. That's for sure."

"...You know," Mitsuhiko started, drawing the man's attention back once again. "I heard they just opened up a new branch of that café we liked. This one's supposed to have extended hours and a bunch of new location-specific desserts on their secret menu. So...You don't think they'll mind a few particularly well-dressed patrons, do you? What do you say?"

Truce?

"I say we better hurry before those two lovebirds finally notice you're missing." He cracked a mischievous smirk back, "Besides, it's your turn to pay this time."

Truce.

[zzizzigom]

Family — Wonho AU | FINAL

A/N: After 45969374 years I have finally posted the next part! I also want to apologize for making you all read this with your own eyes because I know it’s bad....

Genre: angst & fluff

Characters: Wonho x Reader

Length: 3442 words

Parts: prologue | I | II | III | IV | V | VI

Weeks go by and you fall into a sort of routine. It’s the usual alternation of dropping off Mari or picking her up, except every few days you now meet up with Ahreum or she’ll pick up Mari from school instead. The two of you still wouldn’t consider each other friends but after the talk you had the air between you two was clearer.

Even Wonho, who is starting to once again go on these outings is starting to warm up to Ahreum again. Years ago that would’ve worried you, but you knew for certain they were over. The relationship they had completely in the past.

What was starting to worry you was the ever growing doubt in Ahreum’s eyes. You started to notice her pull away from Mari. It was subtle; her smiles no longer lasted as long, or she’d feign interest in what Mari was telling her. There were a few times Ahreum would cancel her usual dinner with Mari. And recently days where Ahreum would cancel on picking Mari up from school – a right you had to negotiate out with Wonho for a few days.

Catching onto it, you asked the other if she needed a break. Ahreum had denied she did, and for a while things went back to normal. However, you were starting to see it again. You didn’t want to say anything to Wonho yet, you didn’t want him to start doubting when he was just starting to open up.

Instead, you watched. You acted as you always would have, but you made sure to keep an eye out on Ahreum’s reactions to things.

During your lunch break, you enter the café with a sigh of relief as the A/C hits you. It’s getting warmer outside and you’re not quite sure how you feel about it yet. Inside, you’re greeted by the usual barista and you wave to her as you head to the counter.

Another employee takes your long order – you decided to treat some of your coworkers today – and soon you’re sitting at one of the window counters waiting for your order to be called. You gaze out the window in boredom, studying the people walking past. From the view of the window, you can see the front door of your work place. You watch people come and go, all in their own schedules. What catches your eye, however, is the flowing of a pastel orange skirt.

You turn your head fully to look and find Ahreum standing nearby the entrance. Her brow is creased as she nibbles on her bottom lip. Her eyes are focused on your work building so intently it’s as if she’s trying to will someone to come out of the doors.

Your thoughts are interrupted as your order is called and you head over to pick up the drink carriers. Thanking the staff once more, you push open the door with your hip and head towards Ahreum. You’re a few feet behind her when she suddenly turns around. Her eyes are wide as they land on you. You stop as well and offer a small, yet slightly expectant smile.

“What are you doing here?” You ask.

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” Her eyes dart from your face to the ground and back again. Her head is slightly lowered and her posture stiff. “But it can wait till later. I have to go.”

Ahreum starts to hurry past you. You try calling out to her but she barely casts a look over her shoulder as she continues walking.

A part of you considers going after her, but before you can make up your mind, she’s too far anyway.

Your brow creases in confusion but because there’s nothing you can do about it now you continue your trek back to your office.

The rest of work is pretty slow and before you know it, it’s almost time for Mari to get released from school. Today is supposed to be a day for Ahreum to pick her up. However, the fact that you saw Ahreum earlier doesn’t sit well with you. What if she was here to tell me she couldn’t pick Mari up..? You shake your head, sure that Ahreum would’ve said something if that was the case. Pushing away your fears, you get back to work.

It’s not until an hour later that you get a phone call from Mari’s school. Worry setting in, you quick answer the call.

“Hello, is this Shin Mari’s emergency contact, Y/F/N? I’m Mari’s teacher.”

“Yes, this is she,” you answer. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh yes, Mari’s fine. However, no one has come to pick her up. She says a close family friend was supposed to come today. When no one showed up we tried calling her father but he didn’t answer, now we’re calling you.”

You shut your eyes in disbelief as you use your free hand to massage your temple. “I’m so sorry. Yes, today a family friend was supposed to pick Mari up, but I will be there as soon as possible. Thank you for calling me.”

“Of course, we’ll be waiting in the teacher’s offices.”

Hanging up the call, you immediately grab your things and make your way over to a coworker’s desk. You explain the situation to her and then ask if she could pass on to the manager, when he gets back, that you had an emergency. She agrees so and then you’re all but running out of the office building.

When you get to the school, you make your way through the hallways and then carefully enter the teacher’s offices. At the sound of the door sliding open Mari looks up and beams widely at you. She hops down from her chair and runs over to you. When she reaches your arms, you lift her up and set her on your hip.

“Hey, squirt, you okay?”

She nods, smile still on her face, but you can see the slight disappointment in her eyes. Mari was really starting to become used to Ahreum being around. To push aside the rising anger in your chest, you smile and reach up to pinch her cheek lightly. She laughs as she playfully pushes aside your hand.

The teacher comes over to join you two and you set Mari down to thank him properly.

“I’m so sorry,” you start. “I promise this won’t happen again.”

“It’s okay” the teacher smiles. “I’m just glad I saw her before I left.”

You thank him again and soon you’re ushering Mari out to your car. You’ve fallen into a silence as you help her buckle up and climb into the driver’s seat. Mari, picking up on your mood, stays quiet as well.

It’s not until you’re parking in front of Wonho’s building that she speaks. “Mommy, are you mad at me?”

You look over your shoulder at her and immediately shake your head. “No, squirt.”

“Are you mad at Ahreum?”

You purse your lips; you’ve never liked lying to her. “Yeah, I am.”

Mari fiddles with her hands in her lap. She’s nibbling on her bottom lip nervously thinking over something. Finally, she looks up at you and nods. “I am too.”

A strong sadness for the young girl fills you and give her the best smile you can muster up in that moment. “Come on, squirt, I’ll make you some lemonade. And I’ll let you put in as much sugar as you want.”

Mari’s face lights up again and she nods before working to undo her seatbelt. The two of you walk hand in hand into and through the apartment complex. As promised, as soon as you’re in the apartment, the two of you head into the kitchen.

The lemonade process is sticky as Mari spills more of the lemon juice than she does pour it into the mix. But the two of you are laughing, and you’re glad to see Mari’s worries seem to be pushed aside for the moment.

You’re watching warily as Mari pours in her sixth cup of sugar, already tasting the two sweet beverage, when the doorbell rings. “You keep pouring as much as you want, squirt. I’ll be right back.”

Mari gives and affirmative nod as she’s readying her seventh cup. You have a fleeting thought of maybe you should’ve put a limit on the sugar, but all thoughts abruptly halt when you find Ahreum on the other side of the door. She’s in a different outfit than the one you saw her in before, this time sporting jeans and a flowy top.

Before she can even get a word out you’re already speaking. “Next time, I’d like a little heads up if you can’t pick Mari up.” Your voice is low; you don’t want the child of interest to hear from the kitchen.

Ahreum has the decency to look shameful as she lowers her head. “I’m sorry about that, I really am. I just forgot.”

“Well with a kid, you can’t ‘just forget’.”

The woman across from you bites her lip before exhaling through her nose. “I need to talk to you about this whole parenting thing.”

You frown, “What about it?”

“I…I won’t be able to do it anymore.”

The words don’t process in your head. “Excuse me?”

“I can’t be around anymore. Besides, doing this, I realized I’m not cut out for this role.”

“I’m sorry what?” You look at her in utter disbelief. “After all that trouble you went through in hunting us down, after bothering us until we let you back in, after we gave you all these chances to be a mother to Mari, you’re just gonna bail…again?”

“Listen, I’ve been seeing this guy.” You already want to shut the door on the story. But you hold back the urge and listen. “I kept everything quiet, because I wanted to make sure he was the one, you know? Well anyway, I finally came clean to him the other day about Wonho, Mari, you…literally everything. He didn’t freak out or anything, but he also didn’t take the news lightly.

“The thing is, he doesn’t want children, like ever. I told him I’d keep it all separate, but he’s adamant that if we’re to be together I have to let go of my past. And that’s when I realized, he was right. This whole thing between me, you, and Wonho is all old news.”

You can’t believe the words that are coming out of her mouth right now. The only thing you could do is stare in absolute shock. You’re barely even listening at this point; you can’t bear to hear one more word of this ridiculous story.

“Hold on,” you cut her off. “This whole “thing” between the three of us is a child, Ahreum. And she’s not something you can just toss out when you’re through with her.”

“I realize that,” she argues. “That’s why I’m tell you now, before I’m in too deep to give up.”

Your mouth open and closes multiple times. Before you can even say anything, you hear footsteps coming up behind you. “Mommy? I accidentally made a mess in the kitchen…” The last words trail out of Mari’s mouth slowly as she takes in who it is you’re talking to. Ahreum looks on with worried eyes and part of you wants to laugh at the absurdity of the moment.

“Mari,” she addresses the girl over your shoulder with a sad smile. “Can we talk for a second?”

It’s more of a question for you but you turn and meet Mari’s eyes. You try to convey that it’s her choice. She looks at you, her eyes wide, before slowly nodding. When you step away from the doorway, Ahreum enters slowly but doesn’t go further than the front hallway.

With a final sigh, you close the door and then step away and go into the living room. You remember Mari saying something about a mess in the kitchen but you don’t care at this point.

Sitting on the couch, you can hear Ahreum’s hushed voice speaking but can’t make out any words. You figure you could always go over and eavesdrop, but you decide against it, this is a conversation between the two of them. You’re not sure how long you sit there, before Mari appears in the living room entrance. “We’re done.”

You nod and stand up to join them once more. Ahreum is glossy eyed as she meets your gaze with an apologetic look. “Y/N, I really am grateful you gave me a chance to get to know Mari. I’m sorry it’s not going to work out.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Seeming to accept your curt answer as the only thing she’ll be receiving, Ahreum nods and then turns to the door. When she opens it, you walk forward to grab the knob. Outside, she gives one final wave to Mari and then walks away.

After you shut the door, you lean your head against it lightly. Eyes shut, you take deep breaths. You can’t believe any of that just happened. You don’t even have the words to explain how you feel.

There’s a small tug at the hem of your shirt, and Mari’s voice is small as she speaks. “Mommy? Are you okay?”

Without a word, you find yourself crying. Turning to face Mari, you drop to your knees and pull her into a tight embrace. Your tears are spilling onto her tiny shoulder and soon, you feel a moist warmth on your own shoulder, Mari’s crying with you.

“I’m so sorry,” you whisper. “You deserve so much, better, okay? And I’m going to make sure you get it. Mari, I love you so, so much. Don’t you ever forget that, got it?”

Mari nods against your neck and tightens her hold on you. Even after you’ve gotten your tears under control, Mari is still crying. You pick her up and carry her into her room. Laying her down on the bed, you crawl under the covers with her.

Idly, you run your fingers through Mari’s hair and let out soothing noises to calm her down. Eventually her crying hiccups out and soon she’s passed out. Using your sleeve, you wipe her cheeks dry before your own heavy eyes shut and you succumb to slumber.

You’re woken up but a gentle caress on your cheek. Eyes swollen and bleary, you peer up and find Wonho smiling down at you tenderly.

“Imagine my confusion when I find a mess of sugar on the kitchen floor and you two sound asleep.”

You give him a small, sheepish smile. Carefully, you untangle yourself from Mari and the two of you tiptoe out of her room. After shutting the door, you turn to Wonho. “Sorry there was a more urgent matter.”

Wonho catches sight of your face and it must be as swollen as it feels because his brow creases. “Hey, are you okay?”

With a nod, you make your way to the kitchen. Wonho follows close behind you and you can see him in your peripheral as he tries to get better views of your face. On your way, you grab a broom and dust pan. Entering the kitchen, you’re greeted by the aforementioned sugar mess and laugh a little at the sight. Wonho leans against the kitchen entrance and waits while you start to sweep.

You try to make your words nonchalant when you speak them. “Ahreum won’t be around anymore.”

Wonho’s gaze on you is a heavy weight and you’re eager to avoid it. Your focus is solely on the task of sweeping. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, it just wasn’t working out. The three of us already had a talk about it.”

“How’s Mari taking it?”

“She’s upset, but I think she’ll be okay.”

“How are you taking it?”

The sweeping pauses. You’re still staring at the floor. It’s ridiculous how upset I am, you think. Wonho watches as your shoulders slump and you shake your head. “I’m…I’m more upset about how mad I am.”

Wonho steps forward and takes the broom from your hands. You stand and watch for a moment before stepping away and hoisting yourself up onto the counter.

“I think I’m mad because Mari’s mad. I mean, there’s no reason for me to be surprised.”

Wonho doesn’t speak until he’s done with the sweeping and has tossed out the spilled sugar. He sets Mari’s lemonade in the fridge and then walks over to you. Your knees slide open and Wonho wraps his arms around you in a warm embrace.

“Y/N, it’s okay to be upset about it. No one’s going to judge you.”

With your head nuzzled into his neck your words are muffled. “It’s just not fair. Mari deserves so much better.”

A warm hand is caressing the back of your head and your grip on his shirt tightens. Wonho’s shoulders shake a little as he chuckles softly. “She does have better. Mari has you.”

The words are enough to make you cry again and as your tears are shed, Wonho rubs soothing circles on your back. Every now and then he presses a soft kiss to your temple.

“Mommy?” Mari’s tired voice carries through the kitchen. You look up, once again swollen eyed, and find the young girl rubbing her eyes with closed fists.

“Hey squirt,” you reply, quickly wiping dry your cheeks. “Look who’s home.”

Mari drops her hands and when she sees her father, her face beams so brightly. She runs over and Wonho already has his arms open to greet her. He sets her down on the counter next to you, and Mari is quick to grab your hand. If she’s seen your red eyes, she doesn’t say anything, instead she’s laying her head against your shoulder. Wonho watches the two of you with the softest look you’ve probably ever seen on his face.

“My two beautiful ladies.” He reaches forward to pinch Mari’s cheek. She giggles at the gesture only for it to turn into a yawn. Wonho moves to pinch your cheek but you give a stern glare.

“Do it and this relationship is over,” you joke with a sniffle. Turning, you reach for a paper towel to blow your nose. Before you can tear a piece off the roll you feel two fingers pinch the skin of your cheek.

“The disrespect I go through in this family,” you mutter as Wonho lets go so you can blow your nose.

Wonho laughs and then his face lights up. “Blanket fort!”

And so here you are, now huddled under a multiple array of blankets balanced and tied to chairs. Mari’s in between you and Wonho as the three of you watch a movie on Wonho’s laptop. You’re too exhausted to really pay attention to the film, and instead opt for running your fingers through Mari’s hair. You catch Wonho watching you every now and then and when he sees you watching, his face beams.

“You know, Mari still has school tomorrow,” you yawn, adjusting your position to lay down. “It’s getting late.”

“She can miss a day.”

Mari looks up at her dad with wide eyes. “Really?”

“No!” You sit back up and give Wonho a stern glare. “School is important.”

“Y/N it’s one day,” Wonho laughs. “Besides I want to spend the day with the two of you tomorrow.”

“I have work.”

Wonho gives you the biggest pout he can muster and Mari laughs. “You can miss a day.”

You give him an incredulous look. In return his pout grows and soon Mari is imitating it. It’s scary sometimes how similar their expressions are.

“Please mommy?”

A sigh releases from your lips and Wonho, realizing it’s a win for them, smiles. You nod your head. “Fine, fine.”

Mari cheers, and the movie seems to be forgotten as she latches herself to your arm. Wonho sets aside the laptop as the three of you settle in for the night. In the dark, you listen as Mari’s breathing slows down to a steady rhythm. Her breathing is about to lull you to sleep but the feeling of a hand sliding into your own, wakes you a little.

“What’s wrong?” you mumble tiredly.

“Nothing.” Wonho’s voice is barely more than a whisper. “I just wanted to hold your hand.”

In response, you tighten your grip just a little more. You’ve always been aware of how close you are to Wonho, and if anyone had asked you’d agree that Wonho and Mari are your family. But never has it felt as perfect as it does right now. This was your family, and you loved it very much.

[literaryeagle]

What, another book review already?  Yes, because there were actually two new Yuri!!! on Ice books that came out this week!  This time, I'm reviewing Yuri!!! on ICE Koushiki Guidebook Yuri!!! on Life (Yuri!!! on ICE Official Guidebook Yuri!!! on Life), published by Fusosha.  This book focuses on the figure skating aspect of the show, and there's some stuff about real skaters as well.  So if you're a fan of the anime and also a skating enthusiast, this one's for you! (If you're looking for the other book instead, you can read my review of Yuri!!! on ICE Official Fanbook GO YURI GO!!! in my previous post.)

This book is not available in English or French, but there are plenty of pictures (mostly full color, and there are a few black-and-white sketches as well).  The dust jacket is also removable, and the alternate cover art hidden underneath is similar to the image on the jacket, except it's zoomed out and the three characters are spaced a bit farther apart so you can see their individual poses better.  As for skaters other than the three main characters, don't worry, they're in this book as well, so you can enjoy their style... JJ Style!  And Emil style, and Michele style, and so on:

Keep reading for the rest of the book review, plus a few more pictures! 

The book starts with a large double-sided poster.  It's a Yuri Katsuki poster on one side, and a Victor poster on the other side.  They're both doing their poses from the book cover.  Pretty cool, although there's an unfortunate consequence to Yuri and Victor being printed on opposite sides of the same paper... if you want to put this poster on your wall, you have to display only the Yuri side, or only the Victor side.  In other words, you can't hang up the Yuri and Victor posters next to each other.  Noooooooo! Granted, there are ways to display a double-sided poster so that both pictures are visible, such as hanging it from the ceiling or hanging it in a window, but you still wouldn't be able to have Yuri and Victor next to each other.  Anyway, here's the top half of the Yuri poster:

After the poster is the book's title page, then the table of contents (decorated with some images from the show's beautiful opening, "History Maker"), and then a two-page spread of Yuri, Victor, and Yurio doing their poses from the book cover yet again.

Next is the first major section of the book, Skaters File.  This part begins with a fun two-page spread showing all of the male skaters (the image of Michele, Emil, and JJ shown earlier in this review is a fragment of one of those pages).  This section has profiles for each of the male skaters, giving information such as birthday, age, height, and blood type.  However, the blood types for Victor, Otabek, Chris, and Georgi are described as "hikoukai" (private).  That kind of basic profile information was already in the other recent Yuri!!! on Ice book, though, so let's move on to something that's unique to this book... A "Skater's Parameter" measuring certain traits for each character is also provided!  What's being measured, you ask?  Well, "skating", "jump", "spin", and "step", are evaluated for all of them, along with two other characteristics that vary for each skater.  For example, the two additional traits measured for Victor are "surprise" and "kyouchousei" (cooperativeness).  Apparently he's extremely good at surprising people, but not very good at cooperativeness.  Yes, I'm sure Yakov would have a lot to say about Victor's lack of cooperativeness, ha ha!

Since this book specializes in the skating aspect of the show, the program elements for some of the skaters’ Short Programs and Free Skates are also provided, so if you're a figure skating enthusiast who knows how to calculate how many points all those jumps and spins are worth, you might have fun with that.  Unfortunately, I don't know how that stuff works, so I wouldn't be able to help with it.  Sorry about that.

As for the artwork in this section, each skater gets an illustration, and then there are a bunch of other pics as well but they're all screenshots from the anime.  And as you've probably guessed, the bulk of this section is devoted to the male skaters, however there are some pictures and little bits of info for some other characters, too.  Here's a piece of a page showing Milla and Yakov:

The next section, Memory of the Special Season, includes a beautiful illustration drawn especially for this book!  It shows Yuri and Yurio with their medals from the Grand Prix Final, and a winking Victor standing with them.  They all look so happy!  I love it! Check it out:

Some of you may recall that a preview version of the above image was released before the book came out, and a number of fans expressed concern or outright anger that Yuri’s ring appeared to be missing.  (Adding to the mystery, the artist who drew the picture said that she did in fact include the ring, but the publisher wanted it taken out. Huh?)  Well, I’m happy to report that, as you can see up there, the ring is back on Yuri's finger where it belongs!  Or if it’s too small for you to see, I’ll include a closer look here:

Yep, so the ring is definitely there, in all its round and golden glory.  Hooray!  As for why the ring was taken out in the first place, I really have no idea.  For all we know, it might be a totally innocent explanation, like the publisher didn't want to spoil the surprise for people who hadn't watched episode 10 of the show yet.  At any rate, regardless of whether the true reason is an innocent one or something... not so nice... keep in mind that this book is published by Fusosha, not the studio that made the anime, so please don't get angry at MAPPA for this.

Anyway, this section of the book has some stuff about skating competitions that were featured in the show, including a Season Calendar explaining when these competitions happened.

Figure skating fans will also be happy to know that the next part has a few pages devoted to some of the real life skaters who are fans of Yuri!!! on Ice, including Evgenia Medvedeva, Stéphane Lambiel and Deniss Vasiļjevs.  Cool!  There's also a bunch of other skating info, like explanations of various terms, and a recommended viewing list of real life skating performances, such as Johnny Weir's awesome skate set to "Poker Face".

Next, there are interviews with voice actors and other staff members who worked on the anime. Check out this photo... from left to right, it shows Koki Uchiyama (voice of Yurio), Toshiyuki Toyonaga (voice of Yuri), and Junichi Suwabe (voice of Victor):

There are staff interviews that include pictures and information on how the skating animation was done for the show, plus other elements like choreography, music, and of course costumes!  Check out these images for Leo's Short Program outfit, and Minami's Free Skate attire:

There are also interviews with some material about audiography, art, character design, and other stuff.  Oh, and there's a lengthy interview with director Sayo Yamamoto and writer Mitsurou Kubo, accompanied by lovely key animation sketches for Victor skating to "Stammi vicino, non te ne andare" and Yuri skating his Short Program.  Awesome!

The book comes to an end with staff credits (decorated with images from the show's ending theme, "You Only Live Once"), and the final scene from the show's last episode, promising to "See You NEXT LEVEL".  But wait, there's one more surprise... another large double-sided poster!  On one side of the poster is the image of Yuri and Yurio holding their GPF medals while Victor stands next to them (and yes, Yuri is wearing his ring on the poster), while the other side is Yurio doing his pose from the cover art.  Here's the top half of the medals side of the poster:

Overall, Yuri!!! on ICE Koushiki Guidebook Yuri!!! on Life seems like a nice book if you're a fan of the anime who also loves figure skating.  My knowledge of skating is mostly limited to what was explained in the show, though, so figure skating experts (particularly those who can read Japanese) might be better equipped to give a more informed opinion of this book.  Now, as previously mentioned, another book came out around the same time, called Yuri!!! on ICE Official Fanbook GO YURI GO!!!.  If you're wondering which one to get... well, if you're a big fan of the show you might want to get both!  But if budget is an issue so you prefer to just get one, I'd say Yuri!!! on Life is for those who want a skating guidebook, while GO YURI GO!!! is better for those who are interested in an art book about the show in general.  Personally, I enjoyed both books, but I liked GO YURI GO!!! more because of the beautiful art and its focus on story and characters.

Anyway, if Yuri!!! on Life looks interesting to you, then please support the artists by purchasing it if you can!  It's available on Amazon.co.jp

Thanks for reading, everyone.  I have other official Yuri!!! on Ice merchandise that I’ll be reviewing, so keep checking my blog for new stuff!

[book-o-scams]

Either 1. Do an analysis on the scene from Run for Your Ed where the Kanker's find that their ship-in-a-bottle is missing. Or if you don't want to do an analysis (please think about doing one though) you can just answer this question. Why is the Kanker's ship-in-a-bottle so important? * If you have any questions see the post on my blog. You have until Sunday to complete the analysis.

I’m excited to do this because ‘Run For Your Ed’ is a really great Kanker episode AND a really great LATER episode.  Season 4′s Kanker episodes have some of the most intentional character-exploration in the show’s entire run, and it’s really nice to see AKA so proactive about developing characters who are usually treated like extras, especially during an era  era where they were having trouble developing the central characters.  This season contains at least 3 episodes that begin from the Kankers’ perspective and humanize their motivations before setting them loose on the cul-de-sac, this being one of those episodes.  This season also contains ‘A Twist of Ed’, an interesting episode that begins from the Eds’ perspective but starts blending in the Kankers’ perspective when the Eds start to turn the tables on them.  It’s disappointing that we don’t really get any Kanker-focused episodes during the digital era of the show, but at least season 5 finally breaks status quo, first by having the Eds publicly declare the Kankers to be their girlfriends, and in the end by scaring the Kankers away for most post-s5 episodes.

Here’s a weird thing I noticed… for the last 3 episodes of season 4, the storyboard credit screen does not actually say “storyboard by.“  And although they are all episodes with the “Tout Le Monde“ credit--  a trend mostly used during seasons 2 and 4, while season 3 had more solo episodes and season 1 wasn’t credited very clearly, it’s a French phrase they use when all of the storyboard artists in the studio contributed pieces of the episode-- earlier instances of “Tout Le Monde“ as late as s4′s ‘Stuck in Ed’ included the “storyboard by“ line.  Kinda seems like an oversight as season 4′s deadlines got tight...  But obviously I know this is nitpicking, regardless it’s very interesting that Danny wanted the show to go out with so many group-effort episodes.  I wonder if perhaps it was to improve morale when everyone was feeling out of ideas?  Or if the artists actually disliked not receiving clearer credit?

Anyway the other reason I wanted to include this screenshot for Kanker appreciation month is that I noticed the Tout Le Monde episodes of seasons 2 and 4 (IIRC, it’s just Homecooked Eds, A Twist of Ed, Run For Your Ed, and technically the movie although it is not credited to Tout Le Monde) produced some of the most iconic Kanker moments and I think the Kankers’ group dynamics are influenced by the team spirit at AKA.

This is the first time we see the trailer park at night and the only time we see it at night without it being buried under snow.

Oh, I also have model sheets archived for this episode!  Here are some color tests using season 1 background lineart:

This episode is the only time we get to see the Kankers all sleeping in their bed, as well as the only time we get to see their pajamas.  I’m fascinated by which characters get pajamas and other sorts of alternate outfits.

So things begin peacefully enough, with Brahms Lullaby, lotsa night ambience, and a cute gag where the Kankers each have their own obnoxious snore that somehow doesn’t wake the others.

But soon enough, one crash downstairs wakes Lee and a second crash wakes Marie. 

The storyboarding seems to be intentionally framing this as the older sisters sharing a feeling of responsibility for their household.

Ohh, I also love whenever we get to see the Kankers scared shitless like this, it’s surprisingly not as rare as you’d think.

Have some cute sleepy Mays:

The girls have each others’ backs as they cautiously look down their staircase.

Thankfully I have the model sheet so we can fully appreciate this perspective:

In a subtle and effectively creepy little bit of animation, all the Kankers see is a tiny tin can rolling out of their kitchen.

Marie and May immediately turn to Lee for their next move.

LOVE this shot with the kitchen light.  Season 4 also has the hands-down BEST trailer backgrounds, we get to see so many interesting perspectives in these episodes.

Lee seemingly lets her sisters stay behind and charges to the kitchen with their wall-mounted swordfish (or is that a marlin…?).

However, the intruder has already left and we get a few more looks at the nighttime trailer park:

Relieved, Lee and Marie jump into the window and bark insults at the intruder.  Another good older sisters sequence, and this one I have a couple storyboard panels for:

They inspect their wrecked kitchen, and at first the background, Lee’s tone and the music sync up to make this look like a really depressing moment, this family with little to begin with having been eaten out of house and home.  And as fans, the next scene’s reveal that this is a redux of Ed’s sleepeating from season 1 is no surprise, and I think it’s being portrayed a bit less amusing now that it’s affecting families outside of Peach Creek’s ritzy suburbs.

But then we get this dramatic shot of Marie holding the table and it always throws off the mood of this scene to me…  I still love the scene as a whole but when Marie whines “why’s it always the good ones that get away!?” while looking at a bite mark out of something inedible, it kind of implies weird things about the Kankers and adult strangers and really any trailer park weirdo who might break in…  Especially after what the Kankers do without a second thought to Bro in BPS, this is more than a bit concerning.  It’s right up there with Marie saying “I LIKE cheaters“ in her second appearance, sometimes Marie’s defining trait in my mind is that she’s somehow LESS rational than the others.. Or maybe it’s just another reference to this specific interest they’ve picked up from their mom, in men who have big appetites…

I always want to believe this is actually a more absurd gag and that Marie is instead saying it to mourn the table where she eats all her meals, in more of a “why do the good die young” way… but then Lee and Marie continue the conversation, referring to this stranger as a bum they shouldn’t shed tears over and it’s cemented as a creepy moment.

Moving on, I love this unnecessarily detailed ketchup bottle Lee shakes and then tosses on the floor:

At least Marie ends up agreeing with Lee.  Then Marie makes a joke about May being the only one to clean this up and it gets a laugh out of Lee.

I love how much the later backgrounds in the show focus on how these homes look from various standpoints… Makes the world feel very lived in.

Take note of how the front door has been eaten through by Ed, exposing their yellow car out front. Ed apparently nibbled on EVERYTHING along that wall on the right…We also see a new telephone, a Chekhov’s Gun for a later gag in this scene…

Love the trumpets blaring as the camera swirls up to the missing heirloom.

“HOLY TOLEDO!” Lee and Marie exclaim in unison to underline that this is crossing a major line.

This angle is making my mouth water.  Latter-day EEnE backgrounds are to die for.

Getting back to my favorite time-wasting Kanker gag, even at their most personally attacked and mutually motivated, the siblings have to fight over who gets to hold the plaque first.

Marie strikes first.

Yay, May called first dibs before they jumped!

OH NO

Lee looks so much like Bro in this pose…

Could these just be Toomey’s drawings?  I’m not sure how often he storyboarded or how often he changed drawings during the design phase since the show’s so close to the boarders’ styles, but I feel like these square jaws are something I keep noticing when archiving Toomey’s model sheets.

Also, I love the phrase “someone shanghaied our ship inna bottle,“ very nautical.

May is moved to tears yet again this season as she fills the audience in on how this is a family heirloom that the Kankers were allowed to play with during bath nights at their old home.  Pretty cute memory, I wish the show had flashbacks at this point!

Does anyone know what it is May calls their old home here?  I’ve always heard it as “the Ol’ Hubcap“ which is convincing enough for me as a name for another local trailer park or just a nickname the Kankers would come up with for a nostalgic home, but it’s difficult to hear through her sobs.  Another popular theory, which I see is currently used on the EEnE Wikia’s transcript of the episode, is that she just says “the ol’ homestead,“ which is a pretty old-timey phrase if you ask me.. May’s certainly not made to feel “modern“ as much as Marie or Nazz are but it also seems unusual to give her such antiquated wild-west dialogue.

Marie covers May’s mouth before she exposes any more vulnerability or personal details about their backstories.

Marie is surprisingly lawful and proposes they call the cops.  I WISH WE GOT TO SEE THE COPS THEY MENTION AND THE FIRETRUCKS WE HEAR LATER IN THIS EPISODE, AAAARRRGGGHHHHH I just want to see more emergency vehicles, this season let us have an ambulance for Pete’s sake!

HEY LOOK IT’S THE PHONE I POINTED OUT.

“WHAT’S THE NUMBER YOU DIAL FOR 9-1-1?!”

Uh.. May, put the phone down, the Little Rascals Movie’s calling, they want their joke back.  Sorry, this episode came out when I was 12 and going through a terrible Little Rascals phase. 

This episode has really good camera direction…

“NO COPS!!“  Why do I get the feeling their mom would punch a phone to prevent the cops from getting involved in anything…

Such good looking backlit sparks!  Gonna miss backlighting during the digital era.

Can’t help but notice that these model sheets have been reversing the rimlighting on the Kankers…

In this very well composed and cinematic feeling shot, Lee vows to find the crook and recover their bath toy, “Kanker Style…“

Cue maniacal laughter and end scene!  It’s a pretty self-explanatory scene, but I really appreciate all the detail put into the Kankers’ poses and expressions and home life.  Season 4 doesn’t always sit right with me, but I think this episode has a pretty fun understanding of every character.  Hope you enjoyed studying this scene with me!