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monarch-afterdark · 1 year ago

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After Dark Special: Interview with Bernie Hayes

Welcome once again to Monarch: After Dark, the digital gateway between you and the organisation dedicated to understanding and navigating this troubled new world we live in.

For today, we bring to you a little extra something special. With the poll's conclusion, we will be bringing our followers the long-awaited updates on Godzilla and Kong, but in the meantime, we would like to present a special treat that we have been preparing for some time now; the long-awaited interview with Titan Truth's Bernie Hayes!

(Pictured above: Bernie, along with Madison Russell and Josh Valentine, investigating an Apex Cybernetics "sacrifice pit", circa. 2024)

The Interview with Bernie

Before we begin, let's discuss a little about Bernie's history, as behind his aloof and off-putting personality, his is an interesting story. Joining Apex Cybernetics' ranks following his wife's death under suspicious circumstances, Bernie was determined to unlock a hidden conspiracy that would bring down the organisation once and for all, though at first even he wasn't certain of what exactly he was going to find.

In 2024, his luck would change when Godzilla unexpectedly attacked the Pensacola facility, where Bernie happened to be stationed. Taking advantage of the chaos, Bernie would sneak to an inner part of the facility and come across a large eye-like device following Godzilla destroying the wall hiding it.

Some time later, Bernie would recruit Madison Russell and her reluctant friend Josh Valentine, after Madison's concerns about Godzilla's attack were brushed aside by her father, who was caught in the publicity aftermath of the incident. Together, the trio returned to the ruined Apex facility and ventured deep into its depths, where advanced transports carrying a clutch of Skullcrawler eggs were being deployed to Apex's headquarters in Hong Kong.

While we'll cover the remainder of his story in the interview, the short version is that Bernie would go on to be instrumental in stalling Mechagodzilla at a crucial moment during its battle with Godzilla and Kong, allowing the Titans to emerge victorious. Bernie would be called upon by Monarch once more during the Skar King crisis, travelling with Monarch to the lost Hollow Earth city of Malenka.

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And now, without further ado...let the interview begin!

Transcript from Monarch Interview 20270608 - "Bernie Hayes"

[B.HAYES]: Hey, so, can I do the intro?

[S.RAGLIN]: I'm sorry, what?

[B.HAYES]: The intro! For, uh, for my podcast? Cuz you guys said I could record this for my podcast, and I usually do a-

[S.RAGLIN]: Fine. Floor's yours.

[B.HAYES]: Okay, cool cool. What is up, loyal listeners? Welcome to a special episode of Titan Truth podcast, and you'll wanna be seated for this one! Today, I am hosting-

[S.RAGLIN]: No you're not.

[B.HAYES]: ...I am hosting a once-in-a-lifetime interview with Monarch itself! All will be revealed-

[S.RAGLIN]: No it won't.

[B.HAYES]: Dude, come on. Just let me do this.

[S.RAGLIN]: Fine.

[B.HAYES]: Thank you. Anyway, all will be revealed so keep your government-proofed headphones on and don't forget to support Titan Truth Podcast over on my Patreon, because every penny helps, and you can support more episodes like this! Special shoutout to MothraMaddie61, our Super Supporter, who donated $30 this week.

[S.RAGLIN]: ...You done?

[B.HAYES]: Yeah, all done now.

[S.RAGLIN]: Right then. So, uh, first question then, you're known for infiltrating Apex Cybernetics and doing what you could to uncover a conspiracy. What sparked that?

[B.HAYES]: Oof, no holding back there. Uh, well, it was my wife. She worked for them for a while, quit a year after G-Day. She...well, um, you know she- she died, and I found this note. Something about a- a Monarch contract for a bomb, with Apex.

[S.RAGLIN]: The Oxygen Destroyer?

[B.HAYES]: I didn't know back then. I joined up with Apex right after, cuz it just- it felt wrong, you know? Then Monster Zero happened, connected the dots...yeah. But, I had to keep going. Nobody was taking the fall for the Oxygen Destroyer, so I needed something bigger. Something that'd truly bring Apex down.

[S.RAGLIN]: I see. Well, y'know, we here at Monarch pride ourselves on the hunt for truth, it's been our main founding policy. Nobody'd fault you for wanting answers. Anyway, next question, your little team...why two teenagers? Why not go to Monarch itself?

[B.HAYES]: Nah, you guys wouldn't have listened. You were too busy trying to make excuses for Godzilla, and, well, Madison found me first. Wouldn't have been my first call, personally, but if you're gonna make the effort to find me, and prove yourself, then I'm gonna hear you out.

[S.RAGLIN]: And...how, exactly, did she prove herself?

[B.HAYES]: No tap water.

[S.RAGLIN]: I...wha- tap water?

[B.HAYES]: Yeah. Makes you docile, easy to manipulate. Her friend was definitely a tap water guy.

[S.RAGLIN]: You...oh, for fu-

[B.HAYES]: Language! Gotta watch it, or I can't monetize this.

[S.RAGLIN]: ...Right, fine. Fine. Um, okay, so, uh-

[B.HAYES]: Hey, can I ask you a question?

[S.RAGLIN]: Sure.

[B.HAYES]: Why Tumblr?

[S.RAGLIN]: What?

[B.HAYES]: You know, After Dark. Been following you guys day one, cuz you know I'm gonna be all over anything I can get straight from the Titan's mouth. And, you know, I'm sure you got a whole team, but I'd really wanna offer my suggestions cuz I noticed some of what you were saying was off, and of course you were dodging the question about aliens on the blog so-

[S.RAGLIN]: Dude, I don't write the stupid blog. I'm a media liason, I just sift through what we get sent in and make sure it's approved for the team to talk about.

[B.HAYES]: Right, okay, but like...why Tumblr? Why not, like, Twitter or Facebook? Or Spotify, cuz I could definitely hook you guys up-

[S.RAGLIN]: I really don't know. Uh, had the most appealing layout for the writing team? Less bots? I don't- I couldn't tell you why, it just is on Tumblr.

[B.HAYES]: Cool, cool. Respect it, personally.

[S.RAGLIN]: I...will pass that along. Uh, next question then, after Mechagodzilla, what was next for you?

[B.HAYES]: Well, after Mechagodzilla, it was just back to normal for me. Didn't have my Apex job anymore, but I set up a Patreon, so I could do this full-time. I did this five-part series on fireflies.

[S.RAGLIN]: ...Fireflies?

[B.HAYES]: Yeah. Full deep dive on how they're actually micro-alien organisms hiding in ships, and the government's covering it up. There's really a lot to it, like, you never see fireflies around government facilities, right? Cuz if you did, you'd see them being tinkered with and repaired before being sent back out.

[S.RAGLIN]: And you did 5 parts on that?

[B.HAYES]: Oh yeah, it's a big one. You know, I even met with a guy who took apart one of the ships to see what it was really like. Wouldn't let me see it, but, you know, if he showed that on the podcast he'd be tracked down and shot, so, I get it.

[S.RAGLIN]: Were you on anything when you did that?

[B.HAYES]: Oh no, no drugs for me! No sir, I keep well away from that stuff. Everyone knows drugs are actually manufactured by the FBI to alter brain chemistry so that we don't question the government. Don't do drugs, kids! If you're listening, that is. Uh, parents listening, tell your kids.

[S.RAGLIN]: Oh, my god...

[B.HAYES]: Oh, right, almost forgot! Uh, today's episode is sponsored by Bye-Bye Spray!

(Pictured above: Bye-Bye Spray, sponsor of Titan Truth Podcast)

[B.HAYES]: Afraid of microcameras in the corners of your home, protected and obscured by dust and grime? Well, be afraid no longer with Bye-Bye Spray! This chemically safe and sound product shorts out any microcameras that may be in your home with its secret forumla of chemicals and liquids designed to give you the ultimate peace of mind. Bye-Bye Spray can also double as a standard surface and window cleaner, so nobody would suspect a thing! Make your home more secure with Bye-Bye Spray, and use the special code "B3RN13" at byebyespray.com to get 20% your first order! That's byebyespray.com, and now, back to the episode!

[S.RAGLIN]: Did...did you just- was that an ad? Did you just record an ad? Right now, in the middle of this?

[B.HAYES]: Yeah, they sponsored this episode. That's how it works, I get sent in products from guys on my Discord and I do ads for them, and in return they either put money into my Patreon or they get Nitro for my server.

[S.RAGLIN]: ...Yeah, no. No, I'm done.

[B.HAYES]: What?

[S.RAGLIN]: Not doing this anymore, no. Uh, I'm- I'm done. This- yeah, no-

[B.HAYES]: Aw no, come on! There was so much I wanted to talk about! We never even got to talk about the Monarch base in Roswell, or-or my shower theory!

[S.RAGLIN]: ...Shower theory?

[B.HAYES]: Yeah! I, uh, well, um, I don't shower. You know, cuz of the microcameras in the shower head, they scan your body for AI, so I make sure I wash with natural water, right from the lake.

[S.RAGLIN]: Oh, that's bogging! Is that what the smell is?

[B.HAYES]: No, that's just bleach.

[S.RAGLIN]: ...Nope. No.

S.RAGLIN leaves the room, and the interview ends around a minute later when another employee came in and shut off the recording equipment.

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And that's all she wrote for the interview! Unfortunately, shortly after recording, Steven Raglin was let go from the After Dark team due to becoming intoxicated during work hours and shouting obscenities on a follow-up call from Monarch superiors after Bernie had complained about his behaviour.

We apologise to Bernie Hayes and our own followers that this interview did not go as we had originally intended. With any luck, we may one day invite Bernie back onto the platform where a proper discussion can take place.

Until next time,

Monarch: After Dark

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