Tumgik
#Are able to compare me to Ruin
notokbutthriving · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
34 notes · View notes
cherry-treelane · 20 days
Text
everytime i feel bad and stressed about my life i remember that i might be in a troubling situation and having a bad time but im not season 4 fiona gallagher in the clink after leaving crack on the counter which my 3 year old baby brother happened to ingest resulting in a fatal near-death experience thats wracked me with never-ending guilt and forever altered my life
#this storyline was stupid you expect me to believe two-apples-tall liam gallagher came close to the crack AND managed to ingest it?#the crack which is lined up on the kitchen counter?#Also i don't believe that fiona would be irresponsible enough for liam to have been able to be close to the crack#that was an ooc moment and not like “its ooc cause thats the point shes going thru a tough time”#morelike “so ooc that it seems like a discrepancy that was overlooked for the sake of drama and shock value#as an older sister i feel like being watchful of your younger sibling if crack is in their general vicinity is an unstoppable instinct#its just not a plausible situation sorry like this is coming from someone who wholeheartedly embraces the realistic idea#of fiona falling short sometimes and being very human by struggling to consistently maintain her doting attentiveness#but anyways it's complicated cause Fiona clearly put it somewhere he cant reach#so how did he get access to it????#its like getting mad at a parent for putting a glass of wine on the counter#not comparing that to literal cocaine obviously this whole situation was nonetheless messed up#but just for some perspective... the writers were clearly doing cocaine themselves if they thought that#liam was bungee-jumping onto the counter and showing off his skills as an apparent budding olympics gymnast#not justifying anything but. listen.#the fact that it was on the counter FOR A REASONNN shows that fiona was careful to keep it out of reach and NOT do something insane like#putting it on the table#liam somehow magically having access to it defeats the purpose of it being on the counter.#if they really wanted for it to be believable that liam managed to snort it they should've put it on the table#but we already know that situation wouldn't be believable in its entirety cause we know that fiona would literally never leave it there#WHICH IS MY POINT. LIKE THIS SITUATION IS JUST ANNOYINGLY UNBELIEVABLE. FIONA WOULD NOT DO THIS AND HOW DID LIAM EVEN GET TO IT??#theres like 39482939 overlooked discrepancies just for the sake of getting to the shock#just to circle back Fiona would literally never let liam go near crack no matter how far gone and fucked up she was#I KNOW THIS BECAUSE I AM AN OLDER SISTER.#its just so UGHHHHH anyways obviously i still think in canon yeah Fiona was at fault shouldve been more careful and watchful#no matter how you look at it its clear that a risk like this just cannot be taken and she had to be blamed to an extent#but me personally? i reject it because it didnt feel natural to me at all there were 394939 other ways to frame a Fiona downfall#And i loved all the other ways her spiral was shown like getting messed up and ending up in Sheboygan#all the shit she got into with robbie + the impulsive urge to ruin the good thing she had going with mike#so human and believable and deeply flawed unlike the liam situation which was horrifically OOC and unrealistic
8 notes · View notes
ur-ghostgirl · 21 days
Text
..
10 notes · View notes
sskk-manifesto · 2 months
Text
!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#A great episode tbh especially given the low budget. I feel like they really did their very best#And even though what I'm going to say next is probably going to be all critic - because I nitpick things and that's what I always end up–#talking about - I still want to underline that it was a very solid and enjoyable episode!!!#Alright the ss/kk was so 💞💞💞 every scene I had to rewatch twice or thrice akhscbashfb they're so cute!!!#Except for the riding scene tho. That scene gives me massive second hand embarrassment every time I just wish it will end as fast as–#possible pffttt. Mmmmhhh... The drawings weren't even too bad all accounted. My main complain is about the quicksand scene...#I feel like that one should be a slow quiet emotional scene. I never licked the choice of using the song as background soundtrack :/#I feel like it ruins the mood of the scene (it was still good though)#I also... Generally don't like the direction they seem to go for with Akutagawa's character in the anime‚ he seems quite a bit flatter–#compared to how he is in the manga. He can't be angry and evil ALL the time you need to show that softness get through from time to time.#If not what even is the point of his character. Yet in the anime he's angry (and not distraught) when he loses the mine craft and he's–#angry when he's questioning Atsushi about his motifs and he's angry when he's bragging about Atsushi's abilities to Goncharov and he's–#angry when he makes the promise with Atsushi at the end of the episode and eventually he'll be just as angry even when telling Atsushi–#to run away as he's sacrificing his life for him. It is pretty flat at the end of the day.#If I can say something about K/ensho Ono without being killed I think they do contribute to making him feel angry all the time.#But that said it's all probably poor directing choices (or simply choices I don't agree with).#Also‚ about cuts. Usually I try to be lenient about it– I understand it's hard to fit in everything and b/sd already does a very–#good job by adapting the manga almost panel-by panel. It's just that... You skip Akutagawa showing compassion for Atsushi after the–#orphanage director died. You skip Atsushi sharing the same compassion when Akutagawa loses his targed in the mines chase. You skip the–#“Nothing special about that. // I suppose he's far crueler than my own mentor.” line. And sure each of them may be negligible by their own#But together they wave a consistent web of relationship between the two characters you know? And it's a loss to omit them all#Well no mind. Again it was still a great episode overall!!!!#I think the colors in the mines could have been prettier in the mines but we can't have it all#Off to season 4!!! Omg I can't believe we got this far :DDD#random rambles#FINALLY was able to catch up in time for the season 3 finale!!!!!!
8 notes · View notes
rookflower · 1 year
Text
i am a hypocrite when it comes to warrior cats shipping because I will gripe and moan about even unrequited cinderfire from dawn til dusk because i think it is weird and boring and makes cinderpelt's character worse, however, i will clap and cheer for unrequited cindersand despite it being literally just the exact same thing except gay and less direct and they never interact in canon
38 notes · View notes
victory-cookies · 3 months
Text
I wish I could handle myself in an argument without fucking crying
#My dad just got back from a like. educator’s conference on ai#and was like ‘wow it’s just so amazing. I wish students didn’t use it to cheat but it’s amazing’#and he’s talking about how he would be fine to see art and writing and stuff created by ai if he couldn’t tell the different. and was like.#if you can’t tell why would you care? to me#and I was like ??? Because I want to see things created by my fellow man? because I want to see things created by passion and love#for the craft? because I want the stories I consume to benefit talented creators and not just big corporations?#Because I want people to being able to share their art with the world instead of it all being created by a computer trained on#nonconsenting parties??#and he was like ‘yknow you really shouldn’t position yourself so anti ai. you’re never gonna be able to get a job with that attitude’#and I’m just like ‘I don’t want a job that uses ai as it currently stands? and unless this shit improves drastically I probably won’t?’#and he was like ‘well you’re gonna fuck yourself’ and then went into this long metaphor and then said that this was just like how#I hate board games and that I shouldn’t commit so hard to my dislike of something bc I’ll be missing out#when that’s not even the fucking same thing! I wish I liked board games! I wish I could share in something that literally all of my friends#love and not be a fucking bummer at parties bc I either don’t play and look weird or I do play and feel like shit and probably act like#an ass! I wish I liked board games! I simply do not enjoy playing them! I find them stressful and unenjoyable!#I don’t like ai bc I don’t like the way it’s trained! I don’t like the way companies are trying to use it! I don’t want to make or consume#things that were created by an algorithm when I have beautiful art and writing and creations by passionate people who I think should be pai#and at this point I start crying bc he’s telling me I’m never gonna get a job bc god forbid I have some principles and keeps comparing it t#the board game thing which he already knows I’m fucking sensitive about!#and I have to run upstairs like a pussy bc I don’t wanna keep talking about it bc now I’m fucking crying#I hate how I can’t get even a little bit passionate without just getting emotional. I hate that I can’t handle myself#it sucks bc now I’m sure I just look like an idiot and my evening is ruined
2 notes · View notes
guinevereslancelot · 5 months
Text
i'm so bummed i accidentally turned town a job interview for a job where I could have worked with a good friend and mentor 😔
#i was telling her abt the preschool i got hired at and i was like yeah im worried bc the other teacher doesn't seem nice#and the student teacher ratio is really bad they're really understaffed and underfunded im just really worried it will be too much for me#and she was like oh you should apply to the school i work at bc we're hiring snd the ratio is great and the pay might be better also#and i never knew the name of the school she worked at until then#and its one i DID apply to but i told them nevermind after this one hired me 😬#but now i really wish i'd taken that interview#i'm going to call or email first thing on monday tho and hopefullyyy i can get in for an interview before i start my new job on thursday#so i wont literally have to take time off for it#and then if they offer me i will be able to tell the new job nevermind while its still early#either that or i'll try to stick it out a few months then apply to the other one for summer or something#but im not sure whether its best to quit immediately or let them think im dependable and staying then leave in three months lol#but mostly for the other job idk if it would ruin the opportunity to tell them nevermind i want the job a week after i said no#compared to a few months later#they might have forgotten me by then which would probably be good#idkkk#my first reference literally works there which will hopefully help and maybe they'll give me a break#the pay scale looks the same as the one i just accepted but i think they'll offer less bc they're not as desperate#but i literally dont care its such a better working environment#and the pay scale is the same so they would give me a raise after a few months#and the work will be so much easier#and the commute#and i Definitely know i can work with my friend#vs the co teacher at this new job who seems really intense and unfriendly#anyway!!#im really anxious abt this new job and i'll stay if the other place wont take me now#but i really hope they give me another chance#also its super close and easy drive and the commute for the other one scares me a bit lol#this has been a shitpost
2 notes · View notes
thebleedingeffect · 6 months
Text
.
#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere#one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions#so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so#despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself#and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral#it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me#not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared#and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her#I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else#but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult#and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side#to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side#she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences#and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control#religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk#having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe#she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough#I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike#and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends#because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting#now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side#it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks.#ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-
3 notes · View notes
exopelagic · 6 months
Text
okay facing consequences of my actions
#I thought I’d gotten away with it this time#okay it’s 3am and I may have discovered something that completely ruins me#everyone is asleep so I can’t tell if this is me being sleep deprived or not!#so I need to sleep now but I haven’t cleaned my code up or written my answers#I do Not have time#if I don’t sleep now I’m gonna be having a bad time tomorrow morning and I am significantly less productive rn than I could be#with other people around I kinda need that y#so I should go to bed. but also. this code needs cleaning. but also. even if I fall asleep now I’m only getting like 5 hours MAX#I need a good few hours tomorrow morning to have a shot at doing this properly#so it would be more useful to sleep now and wake up as early as possible than keep going tonight bc I’m not going to finish tonight#okay. fuck. I hate this#if I could think straight I’d be able to fix this easy which is probably a good reason to sleep#it’s just an annoying logical problem that I gotta follow through bc currently I’m stuck between three possibilities and there might be more#I have these two rasters and I gotta calculate the area overlap#the first method counts the number of presence points in each (probably) and then counts the number in overlap raster w manually set values#the second counts total predicted points and points where they’re predicted to be alone and does a calculation with that for each species#that one with all points from both species + pseudoabsence. vs method 3 which does that with just individual species coordinates#method 1&2 are now homologous now I JUST caught the logical error but method 3 is what he gave us#but actually he might have fucked up in not including pseudoabsence#i don’t know if method 3 works for two different species either honestly#it gives me results I like much more (my overlap is 100% for one of the species and that shoooouldnt rlly happen even if it’s possible) but#I think it might actually just be wrong because it can’t account for#wait so the line is taking the prediction for all coordinates for each species for each species’ initial coordinates. and not pseudoabsence#and that set of predictions for each species coordinate set is then taken and yeah it’s no longer comparable you can’t count each alone#not with two different species bc you need an overlapping dataset to do that OKAY I have solved that logical problem my initial method works#which is annoying bc the result sucks but whatever I checked the rasters and it’s actually identical so#okay now I’ve figured that out. twenty minutes later. sleep I think it’ll help most#luke.txt
2 notes · View notes
nintendont2502 · 1 year
Text
Just remembered bushrangers were like. A Thing not even 200 years ago
Why the fuck does no one talk about that?? Why is that not like a Thing in our pop culture??
14 notes · View notes
mrfoox · 2 years
Text
The fact I refuse to confront/inform the people who have basically ruined my mental state and my ability to function bc that would make them feel bad is honestly bonkers
#miranda talking shit#I cant say id be having a good and normal life if i wasnt abused as a young child but im 90% sure I'd not have this must trouble#Id still have my autistic and add problems but my anxiety and depression would definitely be a lot better#Its... Insane. That my older brothers probably have no idea how much they have actually ruined my life/mental state from such an earlh age#As 4 yrs old... Hell they might not even remember it or even think it was a 'big deal'. I know my second oldest brother probably falls into#The latter. I know now that they both most likely have undiagnosed adhd/autism and they used me as a way to act out/feel better#But being told youre stupid. Fat. Ugly. Useless from the age of 4 like... I cant stress how much it have ruined my self image#Ive tried to build confidence in myself and love myself since my teens and i can barely say im 'avarge' without doubting it#Like they also hit me but that's nothing compared to the mental torture i had to go through on an almost daily basis#Funniest thing is that bc it happened/started when i was so young i didnt think it was... Bad or weird or abnormal.#I started crying when my parents told me to go tell my brothers it was dinner time. I was terrified of knocking on their doors#I still to this day 20 years later am still incredibly uncomfortable and anxious talking with them and i havent been able to make much of#An relationship with them bc of it. Im scared to say anything to them even if its simple shit. And men/boys in general ive thus been#Terrified of since i was young. Once again i thought it was normal to mistrust and be scared of men until i was in my teens#I wish i could hate them i wish i could be angry i wish i had someone to blame#But no my brain is too nice and give excuses to them. Their actions are excused. They have ruined me mentally but thats not their fault#Fuck that might be true but they were still 6 and 11 years older than me. I didnt have a chance to protect myself in any way#I wish someone saw i wasnt okay. I wish someone understood that i wasnt well. I wish someone saw me.#Negative#Abuse
27 notes · View notes
slippery-minghus · 1 year
Text
...
#feeling a bit better this morning#slept well#re​reading some angsty murderbot fanfic is helping...#the ones where it has a mental breakdown and can't think of itself as more than a broken machine to be terminated for everyone's safety#and gets confused by the humans and art trying to help it#those feel really comforting right now#i'm starting to be able to hold the idea that my fuck up won't ruin me to the point of break down#it'll probably be good for me--or at least neutral--to take a two week tolerance break#and A and i have known each other a long time. i know it'll be okay if we take this trip slow. probably better anyway#so we don't get too burned out and can't enjoy ourselves#it was never going to be one of those hyper-busy trips that the people who post their itinerary on reddit are taking anyway#i don't know why i expected it would#and to be realistic i don't actually have accurate data to say what it feels like to go completely off my adderall yet#the closest thing is when i was trying to stagger XR dosing which had me crashing and cycling and was not an applicable measure#to compare to how just stopping entirely will feel#i still feel. really emotionally raw though. like i'm inside out#not in a way i'm familiar with feeling anymore#i think it was more shutdown-y then meltdown-y yesterday which is why#i'm just more worried than anything that it's gonna be hard to manage being overstimulated on this trip#but i suppose. i'll figure it out. and things will fall into place#personal
0 notes
specialagentartemis · 2 years
Text
in middle school during my Intense Greek Mythology Phase, Artemis was, as you can likely guess, my best girl. Iphigenia was my OTHER best girl. Yes at the same time.
The story of Iphigenia always gets to me when it's not presented as a story of Artemis being capricious and having arbitrary rules about where you can and can't hunt, but instead, making a point about war.
Artemis was, among other things--patron of hunting, wild places, the moon, singlehood--the protector of young girls. That's a really important aspect she was worshipped as: she protected girls and young women. But she was the one who demanded Agamemnon sacrifice his daughter in order for his fleet to be able to sail on for Troy.
There's no contradiction, though, when it's framed as, Artemis making Agamemnon face what he’s doing to the women and children of Troy. His children are not in danger. His son will not be thrown off the ramparts, his daughters will not be taken captive as sex slaves and dragged off to foreign lands, his wife will not have to watch her husband and brothers and children killed. Yet this is what he’s sailing off to Troy to inevitably do. That’s what happens in war. He’s going to go kill other people’s daughters; can he stand to do that to his own? As long as the answer is no—he can kill other people’s children, but not his own—he can’t sail off to war.
Which casts Artemis is a fascinating light, compared to the other gods of the Trojan War. The Trojan War is really a squabble of pride and insults within the Olympian family; Eris decided to cause problems on purpose, leaving Aphrodite smug and Hera and Athena snubbed, and all of this was kinda Zeus’s fault in the first place for not being able to keep it in his pants. And out of this fight mortal men were their game pieces and mortal cities their prizes in restoring their pride. And if hundreds of people die and hundred more lives are ruined, well, that’s what happens when gods fight. Mortals pay the price for gods’ whims and the gods move on in time and the mortals don’t and that’s how it is.
And women especially—Zeus wanted Leda, so he took her. Paris wanted Helen, so he took her. There’s a reason “the Trojan women” even since ancient times were the emblems of victims of a war they never wanted, never asked for, and never had a say in choosing, but was brought down on their heads anyway.
Artemis, in the way of gods, is still acting through human proxies. But it seems notable to me to cast her as the one god to look at the destruction the war is about to wreak on people, and challenge Agamemnon: are you ready to kill innocents? Kill children? Destroy families, leave grieving wives and mothers? Are you? Prove it.
It reminds me of that idea about nuclear codes, the concept of implanting the key in the heart of one of the Oval Office staffers who holds the briefcase, so the president would have to stab a man with a knife to get the key to launch the nukes. “That’s horrible!,” it’s said the response was. “If he had to do that, he might never press the button!” And it’s interesting to see Artemis offering Agamemnon the same choice. You want to burn Troy? Kill your own daughter first. Show me you understand what it means that you’re about to do.
20K notes · View notes
ddejavvu · 13 days
Note
Mei!! I have a request for Logan!! I imagine being in bed after waking up from a long night of sleep your smell is more prominent all over the sheets and stuff and I thought that would be really interesting to have Logan go feral over it in the morning! If this makes any sense <3
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The Morning After - Logan Howlett x Reader
send me logan requests!
Tumblr media
You're surprised that you're able to get through the duration of a shower without Logan bursting in to join you, but when you exit the bathroom and find him in bed panting and groaning, you understand why.
Logan's face is buried in the sheets, his head laid sideways on the mattress as his hand disappears beneath the blankets. You don't have to see it to know he's got his fist wrapped around his cock, tugging harshly on it as he breathes deeply into the sheets.
"Logan-?" You hum, but you should have known it's impossible to sneak up on him- he groans at your voice and only grinds harder into his hand.
"I can smell it," He grunts, voice agonizingly strained, "I can smell- last night, we didn't clean up as much as we thought we did. I can still smell it- I can still smell you, and-" His voice peters off into a husky groan as he tightens his fist, stroking his dick so forcefully that it must be painful.
You join him on the bed but you're freshly showered, offering only a floral scent compared to the smell of sex on the sheets. Still, he welcomes the warmth of your body, yanking your hand over to replace his own.
"There, shit," He pants, open-mouthed into the sheets as his tongue extends to press against the fabric, "Oh my god, honey I can smell it, you were so wet. You were fuckin' ruined, god."
Frankly, you feel ruined now, your pussy pulsing greedily at his wanton display. Your free hand flies between your own legs and you begin touching yourself at the same merciless pace that you're stroking Logan off at, and his eyes snap open when he smells the real, present arousal between your thighs.
"There's the real thing." He grunts, nudging your hand away from his dick to flip himself over and bury his head in your lap. He bumps your hand out of his way with the tip of his nose, and now you're left empty-handed and aching as he inhales from between your thighs.
"Don't worry about a towel," He grunts, burying his face deep into your cunt and locking you in place with his hands against your hips, "I want you to fuckin' ruin these sheets, baby. I wanna smell this tomorrow. I wanna smell this a fuckin' week from now- I wanna smell this for the rest of my life."
1K notes · View notes
sapphiresandferrari · 3 months
Text
His sweet girl
Tumblr media
Summary: Aemond catches feelings for one of the girls at the brothel and his brother, Aegon, almost ruined everything
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x ocf!reader
Warnings: emotionally constipated Aemond, cunt Aegon, implied smut, lactation kink if you squint, fluff
Word count: 2.1k
A/N: Hello everyone, I'm Rosie and this is my first fic ever
Likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated, feel free to give me advices or suggestion, just be polite
English is NOT my first language, so apologies if there are any mistakes
Gif credits: @aegonx
Enjoy 🫶🏻
Aemond doesn’t know exactly when se became so important to him.
One night he went to the brothel for his usual service, the last weeks has been hectic, everything was overwhelming, his father’s death, Aegon’s coronation and Luke’s death, so he had to find a way to release the stress that it wasn’t training with ser Criston Cole.
So, when he arrived at the pleasure house, he thought that Madame Sylvi was waiting for him like she usually did for the last weeks, instead, one of the servants informed him that Madame was unavailable for that night, but that she had chosen another girl that would satisfy him as much as she did.
Hearing those words, made him want to turn around and leave, not comfortable with the idea of opening himself with a different woman than the one he was used to, yet something inside of him didn’t want to leave, he thought that if Madame Sylvi has personally chosen this girl, then maybe he should’ve give it a shot and try, see how it was.
After all, she knew him and his needs, especially with all the times they laid together, so he decided to trust her judgement, and let the servant guiding him to the secluded area prepared for him.
Once he moved the curtain, he found a girl, no more than few years older than him, laying on the bed, surrounded by pillows and candles: she was wearing a sheer robe, her hair down, thick and long dark locks were covering her, in her eyes an expression he was having a hard time to decipher, a mix of excitement and fear.
She was staring at him, taking her time to admire the beautiful and stoic man in front of her, he was exactly as the girls at the brothel and the small folk described him: his long silver hair, his purple eye, his fierce aura, he was a mesmerising sight.
As he approached her, he thought that he never saw her before at the brothel, he was trying to remember her small face but he simply couldn’t so he figured that she might be a new addiction there, yet if Sylvi chose her specifically, this means she wasn’t someone new.
He started to undress slowly, taking his time to look at the girl in front of him, her appearance was pleasant, she wasn’t exactly what he was searching, but she still had something magnetic in herself, she had a soft body, with plump breasts and wide hips, her body was different from the one of Madame, yet she still had something comforting that made him at ease right away.
She stood up, taking few steps and stopping in front of him, slightly bowing her head “good evening, my prince, Madame Sylvi apologise that she can’t serve you tonight, but she thought I might be a good enough substitute for you tonight”.
She extended a hand for him, which he took after few moments of silent, noticing how small it was compared to his, slowly walking him to the bed in the middle of the room.
“I’ve never saw you before, when did you start working here?”, he asked, curious to see if his assumption was correct
“Oh, I don’t exactly work here, my prince. My father sold me to Madame when I was a child and she thought I was too young to work here, so she kinda raised me like a daughter, usually I stay upstairs or I serve refreshments, I only work when she specifically asks me to”
So, she wasn’t a whore, not entirely at least, and this awakened something inside of him, he started wondering how many men she slept with, how many she pleased, if she was indeed able to please him as she said.
“Did you sleep with many men before? Are you sure you can serve me properly, child?”
“Not many men, but I’m sure you’ll be very satisfied my prince, and if you don’t trust my words, trust Madame’s judgement”
And so he did, and while he was thrusting inside her soft and warm flesh, he thought how different she was than Sylvi, how tight and wet she was, how her whimpers and moans were shy, how full she was making him feel.
He stayed there after he came, his head placed on her soft breasts, her hands caressing his hair and forehead, their breaths steady, her heartbeat calming, he felt well, satisfied with her service, his thoughts and troubles away for the time she was embracing him.
He told her about his worries, about his dreams, and what shocked him the most, was that she wasn’t afraid to tell him what she was thinking: she spoke calmly, without fear, but still in a respectful manner, not wanting to disrespect him nor his family, it was a rare thing, usually people lie to him or tells him half truth in order to not upset him, Sylvi included.
When he came back evenings after, he hoped to find her again, and he was slightly disappointed to see that Sylvi was waiting for him and not her once again.
Madame realised it too, she could feel a shift in his behaviour, at first thinking it was because of everything it was happening with the war and his family, but when he asked her where she was, her doubts became certainty.
“You don’t want my services anymore, my prince?”, she asked as they laid together after their highs, his head on her lap, curled up like a babe.
“Is not that, I like you and you help me a lot, but it was different with her, she understands me, she is not afraid to tell me the truth and actually gives me advises, she listens carefully and tells me what she thinks, it is a rare thing nowadays, everyone too scared to offend me and have me lose my patience
That’s why I want her to serve me from now on, you were good to me, but I think I found a better match”.
Sylvi wasn’t too pleased about this decision, she enjoyed the evenings with the prince, he treated her with respect, making her feel desired and appreciated, but he was still a prince, and if he didn’t want her services anymore, she had to accept it and move on, at the end of the day, he was still a paying costumer like everybody else, and her last goal was to please him, whether it happened personally or not.
Aemond kept going to the brothel almost every night, gently fucking her and then laying on the bed, his head on her chest, talking about his days, about his dysfunctional family, his plans for the war, and she stayed there, listening to him and caressing his head, and when he wasn’t talking, he was listening to her, talking about the books she was reading or about something she did that day, his lips sucking on one of her nipples lazily, eyes closed, eyepatch discharged somewhere on the bed, hand kneading the soft flesh of her hips.
He loved those moments, he felt at peace, somehow invincible, wondering if he will ever feel like this with another woman, but deep down knowing that no noble woman would be so understanding of him, especially not his betrothed.
It was during one of these nights that his brother, Aegon, had found him, ruining the only good thing he had in his life, Vhagar excluded.
They were there, entangled after their highs, the comfort of her arms making him feel so well, when his drunk brother opened the curtain, revealing himself to him and his mates, not wasting a second to humiliate him.
Aemond immediately got up, sitting there, looking somewhere on the floor, trying to steady his breath, listening to his brother rambling about him “fucking her like a hound”, watching her trying to cover herself for the embarrassment, shielding her body from his brother’s eyes.
He decided to leave, being too angry and humiliated, his brother rambling about searching for Madame to “make a man out of one of the white cloaks” but he found a better amusement after he saw his brother there
“You can have her, brother, one whore is as good as another” he said before taking his leave, the look of disappointment and heartbreaking in her face.
He couldn’t sleep that night, he kept seeing her disappointed face over and over again.
He knew he hurt her, that she had no fault for what happened, his brother was a drunken cunt, and she had to suffer the consequences for his stupid actions.
For days he contemplated about going there and apologise, explaining that he was not expecting for his brother be there, that he hasn’t gone to the brothel in years and he thought it was a safe space for him, away from his brother’s mess, yet he couldn’t do it, he couldn’t go there, relieving the memory of that night again.
In the end he decided to go, he was longing her touch, her softness, her sweetness, ha had to admit to himself (with an enormous amount of strength) that he needed her, so he went there one morning, when he knew anyone would’ve gone there and disturb them.
As he walked the street of silk, he kept thinking about what he wanted to tell her, trying to find the words to explain to her that he was sorry, that he understood if she didn’t want to be with him ever, but that he was still hoping for her forgiveness, since she knew how complicated his relationship with his brother was.
He knocked on the door, Sylvi opening it as he thought, looking at him hostilely
“What are you doing here, my prince”
“You know what I’m doing here, I want to speak with her”
“You hurt her, deeply, I don’t know if she wants to see you”
“Just…just ask her, please? I will leave if she does not want to speak with me”
Madame Sylvi looked at him one last time, before moving towards the rooms upstairs, allowing him to enter the brothel.
She came back a while back, telling him that he can go talk to her, but also to be quick, she didn’t want to give him too much time, she was very hurt by his actions.
He went upstairs, anxious and excited, wanting nothing more than explaining to her, his heart beating fast and hard in his chest at the thought of seeing her sweet face again.
His sweet girl, sited on the bed, a book between her hands, looking beautiful with the sun light, certainly different from the candlelight he was used to
“Good morrow, I know my visit is…unexpected, but I had to come, I had to talk to you”
“Good morrow, talk then, but make it quick, I will have to get ready for work soon, I have clients to take care of”
“Clients? I thought you weren’t fully working at the brothel, I don’t understand”
“After what happened that night, your brother’s guard told everyone how good I was, so a lot of men asked for me and Madame couldn’t refuse them, so now I work full time”
“I’m sorry, sweet girl, I really am, I didn’t want to treat you in such a way” he walked towards her, sitting slowly on the bed besides her, taking her hands on his and leaving some kisses on them “I swear I wish I said something that night, but my pride took the best of me; my brother was there, mocking me like he did when we were children, I couldn’t stay any longer.
Forgive me, sweet girl, you’re the only one I didn’t wish to hurt that night, yet you’re the one who suffered for my lack of temperament”
She stayed there, their hands still entwined, listening to his pleadings, wondering what was the best thing to do, reminding herself that he hurt her deeply, but also that he loved this man so much, that she couldn’t stay away from him any longer.
She kissed him while he was still talking, needing to feel his lips on hers once again, his hands on her once again, his cock deep inside her, feeling her to the brim with his seed, making her his and his only.
As he thrusts inside her, hips snapping, his hands kneading the soft flesh of her hips, they never felt so good in their life, so at peace, so happy.
They kissed and bit and marks each other, and in Aemond’s mind, the only thought was that she was his and he wasn’t going to let any man take her from him, the only good thing in his life.
She was his sweet girl, only his.
2K notes · View notes
ladycinism · 3 months
Text
You know what breaks me?
Edwin tried to deliver his confession in a collected manner at first.
"as more than a friend I'm afraid" he says like he could be saying "oh no, it's raining I'm afraid". He wants Charles to know but I think he's also trying to downplaying it a bit because he's afraid of ruining things with his best friend.
And then
his voice fucking breaks while he says "I'm in love with you" and it's not just the weight of the words, he's scared. His voice waivers and the word love comes out like a whisper almost because of all the feelings and the fear he was trying to reign in.
He tried to be the collected one for Charles but he couldn't in the end because he's just a teenage boy in love with his best friend of 30 years and he's scared he's going to lose the only person he ever allowed himself to love. And you can actually see the fear in his eyes, hear it in his voice too
Also the fact that Charles compares them to Orpheus and Eurydice. CAN WE ADDRESS THIS?
Can we address the fact that like in the original myth it was love that made Orpheus turn around and it was love that made Charles turn around too? When Edwin stops them to talk he's almost turning around again and it is when Edwin says "I love you" that he, of course, whips his head around.
I like to think (because I do not want to think about other sceneries) that much like Orpheus loses Eurydice in that moment, so does charles with Edwin. In that moment he loses the old Edwin and welcomes the new one, the one who's not afraid to speak up and talk about his feelings, the one who can kiss the cat king on his cheek while admitting that he too is lonely like him. I like to think that in a way, to put an end to those endless deaths he faced in hell Edwin truly had to be reborn. I think he really needed to face himself, all his selves (the sexuality he had hidden to his own self, his loneliness, his despair), all the hidden parts in the words of the cat king in order to be able close hell's door once and for all.
1K notes · View notes