#BITCH TF YES YOU ARE😭😭😭😭

[swirlingyouintomypoems]

bitches will be like “don’t like don’t read” AND THEN ITS FUCKING PEDOPHILIA

[dragoncarrion]

TFP good ending. no one dies they just smoke a blunt on it

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

I've been looking for this one au where Len basically becomes a mad scientist and turns his friends into robots one by one for a while now, and I'm beginning to realize that I just read through your blog while half asleep a few months back and mixed together my memories of your flower hivemind and composite au

this is very funny to me. i'm absolutely honored this blog's posts were enough to evil-farming-game an entire vocaloid au into your memories 😂

i can give you this doodle; it's composite au but i'm sure it'd fit very well with this theoretical mad scientist len au lololl

[bbyboybucket]

I’m so mad, I bought something off Depop (which I usually love and never have any problems with) and it came in with a load of stains and not even the same color in the pics, and they won’t refund me??? LIKE WHATTTT??? I even submitted pictures of the stains on the front, back, and sleeves of the shirt like how is that not enough for a refund???

[norrizzandpia]

We’ve seen rabid lado’s girlfriend but what about rabid Lando about his girlfriend

Hi hello welcome back to the universe of feral!reader

Y/n’s Biggest Fangirl (Lando’s Biggest Fangirl Part 3) (LN4)

Summary: A look into the times when Lando was feral for his own girlfriend.

Warnings: suggestive comments, language, the drivers being scared and nervous for the sanity of lando and y/n, Alex says “kms” once and its very loosely used plz don’t do anything like that ever ty

Note: Here are the links to the other parts! Part 1 Part 2 also there is no face claim for this its just blonde, faceless women but you can imagine anyone <3

landonorris if i speak….

Comments:

y/nnn oh! so j to fill everyone in, i sent this to him (one of my friends took it on a girls night) he responded back with some very… um… not safe for work messages

- Mclarensgirly leak them.

- landonorris she leaks them and my entire career is ruined fr

- f1fan2024 y/n. leak. them.

- y/nnn guys. yall know how crazed i am but even i wont leak these texts.

- Mclarensgirly 😟

- f1fan2024 🤨📸

oscarpiastri you are aware this is your MAIN insta account right?

- landonorris yes.

mclaren calling the psych ward brb

—

landonorris who wants to guess where i wish my hand was

Comments:

oscarpiastri THIS IS YOUR MAIN FUCKING INSTA ACCOUNT

danielricciardo mate…

maxverstappen man wtf im just trying to enjoy my winter break

- f1fan34 MAX 😭

y/nnn lando i sent this picture to you out of kindness….

- landonorris and you think I’d do what with it??? Keep it in my camera roll??

y/b/f_username there’s something off balance in your brain but im happy you know how hot your girlfriend is 🔫

- landonorris SMOKIN. DROP DEAD. MOUTH WATERING. DELICIOUS. EXQUISITE. GODDESS. BEAUTIFUL. STUNNING. GORGEOUS. GOURMET.

- y/nnn why am i a meal

- landonorris cause i wanna eat you up

- alexalbon this interaction has made me want to rip my skin off #vomiting 🙁

—

landonorris mommy

Comments:

alexalbon #kms

- oscarpiastri #😟

- danielricciardo #maininstaaccount

- landonorris #mygfishot

y/nnn alr babe that’s enough screen time for you today

- landonorris no <3

mclaren can we live?

Mclarensgirly uh…..

- op81andln4 ok but like… i want him to call me mommy

- Mclarensgirly that’s weird (I’d kill for him to call me mommy)

- oscarpiastri see what you’ve done landonorris?

- landonorris I don’t see a problem.

- maxverstappen GET THIS MAN TO THE ER JESUS CHRIST

—

landonorris prettier than the Trevi Fountain 🫶🏻

Comments:

y/nnn i got the notification he posted, got terrified, then opened it and my heart warmed ☺️

- Mclarensgirly HER INSTA NOTIFS ARE ON FOR HIM 🤭

- landonorris so are mine for her tf

mclaren this works

- landonorris I’ll be back at it again soon dw

- oscarpiastri i will never get a chance to experience what true peace feels like.

F1fan2024 get you a man who will call you mommy and prettier than the trevi fountain on separate occasions in the span of a week

alexalbon i like this one!

- landonorris that’s my gf back off bitch.

- alexalbon damn.

y/nnn dw guys i just sent him another pic of me getting ready to go out with the girls

- landonorris BARK BARK

- danielricciardo #whereisthenearestbombshelter

- maxverstappen #itsover

- oscarpiastri #landomakesmescared

- landonorris #youwishyouwereme❤️

[lewisvinga]

my real reaction | charles leclerc x fem! sturniolo! reader !

summary; when the sister of the famous sturnilo quadruplets gets exposed for dating the golden boy of the grid sends the internet into chaos

fc; lani pliopa

warnings; age gap ( 6 yrs ), hate comments

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minkyungseokie @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote

note; requested !

masterlist !

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

liked by charles_leclerc, yourbestfriend, and others !

yourusername; my real reaction to being stalked and having my relationship exposed

charles_leclerc: ahhh chérie you’re too funny 😂

yourusername: some may say i am the funniest quadruplet tysm my love 😁🥰

nicolassturniolo: HOLD YOUR HORSES MISSY yourusername

username: i love her sm

username: she’s so😭😭

christophersturniolo: y/n come home NEOWWWWWWW🤬

yourusername: no i’m warm in bed w my boyf in monaco 😇😇

matthew.sturniolo: SO THATS WHY U KEPT GOING TO MONACO??? 😟😟

nicolassturniolo: group meeting NOW. aSAP

username: did THEY NOT KNOW???

yourusername: if they did , you all would’ve found out within 1 hr of me telling them 🥸🥸

username: LMAOO

username: girl……

username: tbh she doesn’t seem like a good fit for charles, all of his gf’s have been models and she’s just an influencer😭

username: i thought the same thinggg, all she does is eat in her car and say stupid shit w her brothers 💀💀

username: she’s so unserious wtf

username: she’s so unprofessional why tf is charles dating someone like her

username: i know! i assumed he’d be w someone private and a model! not someone like y/n😭😭

yourbestfriend: so true bestie liked by yourusername !

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

liked by yourusername, francisca.cgomes, and others !

charles_leclerc: my one and only love. the only woman who truly makes me happy and frankly, if you all were truly my fans then you’d be happy that i found the best woman in this universe. she never fails to leave me in tears from laughter. she never fails to make my heart flutter from a simple kiss on the cheek. she’s my whole world. je t'aime, chérie❤️❤️

tagged; yourusername

yourusername: chaaaaaa☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

yourusername: i love uuuuuuu soooooooo much☹️💓💓💓💓 ur the best man itw , i couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend !!!!

charles_leclerc: i love u alwayssss❤️

nicolassturniolo: best man….. u shared a womb w 3 i’d say we’re wayyyyt cooler

yourusername: charles_leclerc don’t mind nick, he’s just annoyed i didn’t tell them earlier abt u

matthew.sturniolo: yes i am annoyed too u fake bitch yourusername

christophersturniolo: WE’RE ALL ANNOYED😒😒😒

username: I LOVE THE STURNIOLO QUADRUPLETS DYNAMIC😭😭😭

yourusername: my real reaction when cha posted this : 🥺🥹😭 liked by charles_leclerc !

yourbestfriend: can confirm i was there she cries

username: get u a man who will defend u like charles liked by charles_leclerc and yourusername !

username: she’s scute everyone is just bitter 😕

username: y’all don’t get her like i do💯💯💯

username: besides, y/n is an ADULT, she’s probably more mature than her brothers who cares if she’s 6 yrs younger !!!!

yourusername: so true tysm bestie i am more mature than my brothers 😁😁

matthew.sturniolo: oh you bitch😒

yourusername: matthew.sturniolo keep talking or else u won’t get paddock tickets😒

username: y/n has always been HER💆‍♀️💆‍♀️

username: you can never make me hate them ‼️

[beiasluv]

yes, and? | f1 d!lfs

a/n: Ariana popped tf off with that house music, but ngl I have mixed feelings abt her allegations. don’t be a homewrecker bitches 😘

aussiegrit

liked by oscarpiastri, fernandoalo_official and 96,279 others

aussiegrit Ride a Porsche, save a horse…😆 yourinsta

view all 3,627 comments

fernandoalo_official nice caption 🙌🤣

aussiegrit got a smart gal 😊😂

username thatshouldbemeholdjngyourhanddd

username mark and yn are weird. prove me wrong.

username don’t be a hater if she’s having fun

username having sex with someone’s husband is fun?

username ain’t no one saying that yet

username if I see a dilf using the laughing emoji unironically again I will combust

username then I’ve got good news for you..

username ICONIC QUEEN SHITT

username Honestly get that bag gurlll

username Yn is a grown woman, should’ve known not to mingle with an older man

username is it so depressing to see a successful young woman having a fun time?

yourinsta

liked by sebastianvettel, jensonbutton and 218,718 others

yourinsta ride or die (literally) 😙

view all 35,256 comments

jensonbutton careful love

yourinsta will do 🤭

username hang out with people your age

username stay mad, go touch some grass

landonorris we literally drive fast car for life 💀

yourinsta I KNOW 😭😭

yourinsta when are you visiting 😔

landonorris soonn

username ERM Where.

sebastianvettel glad you had fun schatz

yourinsta anytimee 🫶

username sebastian went skiing and no fucking picture. I’m devastated.

username what exactly are you riding 🤭

username she slayed for that

username DONT TAKE TREACHEROUS ROADS

username DONT MAKE UNNECESSARILY JOURNIES

jensonbutton

liked by yourinsta, aussiegrit, and 122,017 others

jensonbutton off seasonal things 🤣.

view all 28,167 comments

yourinsta slow your horses on drinking mr button

jensonbutton will do love 😉

yourinsta I’ll keep an eye on that.

username taking care of her old man You go girlll

username was this the Santa hat he got from Fernando 😭😭

username it’s also likely that one of them gifted the whiskey as well

username nobody can stop yn and her dilfs on this summer break

username HELL YEAH

username not complaining for the lack of content from the current grid (except Ms gurl herself)

yourinsta

liked by oscarpiastri, mickschumacher and 186,297 others

yourinsta I have no more storage 😔

view all 21,627 comments

sebastianvettel sorry schatz ❤️

yourinsta I maybee forgive you

username grow tf upp

username she got them down bad and you mad??

landonorris why is your phone crustyy

yourinsta I SWEAR IT’S THEMM

yourinsta my selfies ate 🤭

username PERIODDD

username get yourself sweaty old dilfss

jensonbutton deleting is not an option love

aussiegrit buying a new one is

username OH???

username be my sugar daddy please 😩🙏

username Oscar and mick basically cringing at their father figure

username Respect the original rizz gurll

username Sebastian was and still is the original rizz, ask yn 😘

username kimi what are you doing hereeee

f1gossips

liked by username, username and 39,728 others

f1gossips Ricciardo, Vettel, Button, Alonso, and Ln spotted in a holiday in Ibiza, Spain. More attendants to be confirmed.

- admin

view all 2,610 comments

username honestly it’s kinda weird that she keeps on hanging out with the older grid while she is literally a Mercedes driver?

username and what’s wrong with hanging out with people outside the current grid

username idk seems kinda weird to me, older men..

username if she’s getting that bag I respect her cause why tf not?

username homewrecker much?

username desperate much?

username homewrekcerr so coquette 🎀

username you guys don’t get it (I GET HERR)

username Spain… so is Carlos joining??

username and Lando’s comment??

username I swear they need to show tf up

yourinsta

liked by aussiegrit, sebastianvettel and 186,727 others

yourinsta told you my selfies ate 😘

view all 18,017 comments

aussiegrit beautiful sunshine ❤️

yourinsta wish you were heree

aussiegrit I’ll definitely see you soon honey

username never let mark know what a dm is so I can keep reading their texts

username if you look closely into the background you can see me drowning in my tears

username omg same!! twinss

carlossainz55 did you pierced your tongue?

yourinsta no?? why would I do that

username why are they so siblings 😭

sebastianvettel

liked by yourinsta, lance_stroll and 385,167 others

sebastianvettel trip dump or whatever the kids say?

view all 27,526 comments

yourinsta correcto

liked by sebastianvettel

username get away from my mann 😘😘

username ngl you got me in the first half

username can the summer break be longer 😭😩

username I miss the dilf trip already. I have nothing to look forward to anymore

username how to…be…a dog ✍️

f1gossips

liked by username, username and 27,156 others

f1gossips Mark Webber and David Coulhart spotted at the Porsche convention, Melbourne, Australia. Lando Norris confirmed in joining the Ibiza trip last week as seen with a fan at a restaurant

view all 962 comments

username i know exactly what you are doing by putting mark in this

username so was it Mark??? 🤭🤭

username Mark please comeback 😭

username come back the kids miss you 😩

username so was it true that she fucked one of them?

username WHAT? WHO WHERE WHEN

username it was rumor but idk guessed it would’ve spiraled at the trip

username had a feeling that it was Sebastian 🤷‍♀️

username SAMEE TWINSS

yourinsta

liked by jensonbutton, aussiegrit and 426,268 others

yourinsta yes, and?

view all 197,727 comments

username OMF MISS QUEENNN

username QUEEN SHIT BITCH

username ITS CONFIRMEDD

username so can I call her ariana now? 💀💀

yall know the drill, interact if you liked it😘😘 let me know who’s your favorite f1 dilf

today’s a great day to take care of yourself!!

[h4m1lt0ns]

HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.

episode five :: 99 PROBLEMS.

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴max verstappen x ex!y/n

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au / irl snippets

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔comeback: download has started.

fc – wonyoung jang (28)

꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕none.

☆ IMESSAGE with ; BOARD OF DIRECTORS.

y/n: not to freak you guys out but i knew all along

my baby lando: FYM YOU KNEW ???

babygirl alex: y/n 😁 i swear to god

honey badger: wait

honey badger: what do you mean you knew

chili!: ????

chal eclair: ^^^^

girlfriend kika: babe

girlfriend kika: i need u to explain before pierre loses his shit bc he’s bubbling rn 🙏🏻🤍

y/n: okay hold on y’all listen

wifey lily: 👂🏻👂🏻👂🏻👂🏻

y/n: i always had this sneaking suspicion that some bullshit was going but every time i’d ask him about nothing would come of it

y/n: so i was like maybe i’m the problem 😀

y/n: then i found lipstick in our bathroom and i was like yo ??? tf is this and max said it was his sister’s

y/n: so i was like oh calm

y/n: bc victoria would come over sometimes

y/n: then i found out he cheated the first time

princess george: fIRST TIME????

angel carmen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIRST TIME

chili!: HE CHEATED MORE THAN ONCE???

chal eclair: hOLD ON YALL IM TRYNA UNDERSTAND

y/n: yes 😭

y/n: caught him on a call with her being all lovey and shit and we got in a fight bc of it

y/n: and i let it slide bc i thought he would learn + he cried his eyes out

alabono: how is HE gonna cry for cheating 😟

honey badger: WAIT

my baby lando: fuck was he crying for ???

chal eclair: he cried ??

babygirl alex: literally what

honey badger: WAIT YALL

honey badger: Y/N YOU LET THAT SLIDE ???

y/n: I USED TO LOVE HIM OKAY.

chili!: i just sighed so hard man

y/n: hold on there’s more

PIERRE GASLYYYY: MORE ??

PIERRE GASLYYYY: y/n…

my baby lando: bae what is this…

chal eclair: what else did he do then damn

y/n: the bitch was in my bed

babygirl alex: WOAHHHHHHHH

angel carmen: now hold on, hOLD ON NOW.

girlfriend kika: i screamed

honey badger: ouuuuu it’s gonna get violent rq

y/n: i found them cuddled up, clearly post fuck, in my bed, listening to my music and guess what

chili!: BRO 😭

chal eclair: WHAT OH MY GOD

my baby lando: ¿¿¿

y/n: HER KID WALKS IN BEHIND ME EATING MYYYYYYY ICE CREAM

y/n: IN MYYYYY HOUSE

princess george: see this is where i personally would’ve swung at everyone

PIERRE GASLYYYY: LISTENING TO YOUR MUSIC???????

wifey lily: NAHHHHHH MAN

angel carmen: i’m not even kidding

angel carmen: i’m deadass speechless

y/n: i need all of u to come to my house immediately

y/n: there’s so much more i need to tell y’all

chili!: Y/N.

chili!: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES MORE.

y/n: ….

chal eclair: answer the question bae 🤍

y/n: well

my baby lando: oh my god

y/n

♡ liked by lilymhe, landonorris, and 11,340,293 more.

y/n i could see right through it

1,302,293 comments.

username EEYUH. EEYUH.

theweeknd see right through it

➜ username spill immediately.

➜ username abel 😁 whatcha doing here bae 🤍

➜ username eXPLAINNNNN

➜ username my delulu is saying those are lyrics

➜ username ur delulu is deluluing

username i’m.

username MOTHER ?????

username SLAYED THE HOUSE DOWN

henrycavill 😍

➜ username SIR ???

➜ username hELLO

➜ username oh my fucking god.

➜ username ur joe king 😟

username ate soooooo hard

madisonbeer mommy?

➜ username OHHHHH

➜ username oh, my fucking god.

➜ username MADS????

username okay ma’am.

username UHM DEVOURED???

champagnepapi 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

➜ username why is the entire industry in the comments 😭

➜ username oh ur just like me fr 🙏🏻

➜ username sir this ur second time here, and i am very delusional. i will assume shit.

➜ username LMFAO

username i want you, sOOOOOO BAD???

username mhm. mhm. now that’s what i’m talking about.

charles_leclerc ICON 🗣

➜ username EEYUP

➜ username YESSSSS

username me wait for K to copy her

username whew miss y/l/n

username someone on twitter said thank god for ur parents, I too, say thank god for them.

bellahadid thank god you stuck to music

➜ username SOOO REAL

➜ username no bc y/n stays eating the gworls up

➜ username speak ur truth bella

carlossainz55 niña bonita ❤️

alexandrasaintmleux 😍😍😍😍

landonorris my mother everyone.

➜ username OUR mother

➜ landonorris i don’t share 🧡

➜ username HDIAOWKDJAP

carmenmmundt sexy.

➜ georgerussell63 oh swear?

lilymhe oh.

➜ alexalbon babe ??

➜ lilymhe no babe look away

francisca.cgomes i moaned ngl

➜ pierregasly HELLO ¿¿

➜ username kika is honestly the realest

➜ username no bc you and me kika 🤞🏽

➜ pierregasly you’re MY gf ???

➜ francisca.cgomes nahhh….

➜ y/n can confirm 😁

➜ pierregasly ????????????????

y/n added to their story!

[55szn]

moth to a flame - cl16

charles leclerc x fem!reader smau summary everyone says pierre is the one for yn, everyone but charles warnings cheating fc ally rossel notes requested!💐 i love pierre but this was fun to write ngl🫣

probably will do a part 2 some time in the far far future

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc and 172.181 others

yourusername our job is beach (for now)

tagged pierregasly

view all 2.189 comments

pierregasly 😍😍

pierregasly gorgeous mon cœur ❤️

user they are sooo😫😫😫

user SHE IS STUNNINGGGG

user my favorite couple on the grid by farrr

user yessss she’s the best wag she is gorgeous and so nice🥹

user + her relationship with pierre is so cute😣💘

user love herrr

MESSAGES

PHOTOS

INSTAGRAM

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, landonorris and 2.998.831 others

charles_leclerc does he know where your heart lies?

view all 11.719 comments

user shady ass caption what have you got between hands leclerc

user dammmn okay girl

user seems aimed🫣🫣🫣

user I KNOOOOOOWWWW and i’m nosy as fuck i wanna know😤

user slay i guess

pierregasly mr. mystery? 😂

carlossainz55 🧐

user even he was weirded tf out

user boy who is “he” ????

user caption is overshadowing this serve😍😍

user my bitch’s pose is naaaessty

user he’s such a teenage girl with this dramatic ahh caption 😭

user need to study his brain

user yes but i want to know

TWITTER

INSTAGRAM

yourusername

liked by yourbsf, lilymhe and 217.081 others

yourusername 🙃

view all 8.181 comments

yourbsf gorg💘

user i’m not saying i get charles… but i get charles

user i too would fuck everything up for a girl like that

user slut

user i can’t even judge her cuz if i could i would’ve gotten with both of them as well

user she did it for us🫡

user NOT THE WAY I LOVED YOU😧

user she’s messy af😭

lilymhe beauuutiful girl 😍

user lily said i support women’s rights but most importantly i support women’s wrongs!!

user and she’s so real for that

user getting one millionaire dick was not enough for you?

user ngl i’m so jealous of her😞

user right like she got with two of the hottest drivers on the grid she lucky af

user she is still a bitch

user i’m so confused with these comments what happened

user there was a paparazzi pic of charles and yn kissing (you can’t see their faces so ppl weren’t sure) but now pierre has unfollowed both of them sooo…yeah

user what a whore

user yeah well charles is just as shitty as her but i don’t see anybody bashing on him🤷‍♀️

user girl you got caught cheating on your boyfriend with his friend and now you’re in here thirst-trapping get a fucking grip

user and she looks good doing it so what.

[lorarri]

★ . . . 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 , 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

summary , being forced to go to a gp was not something on Y/N's 2023 bingo card but who knows maybe she will create a friendships that could help her thought this tough time

pairing , step dad! lewis hamilton x fem! young teen! reader

pervious part | series masterlist | main masterlist | f1 masterlist | lewis hamilton masterlist | next part

MOTHER Lewis has got us VIP tickets to the Australian gp Isn't that exciting!

Y/N but I have an archery comp on that weekend

MOTHER dw about it I've pulled you from the comp you can do the next

Y/N are you fucking kidding me you pulled me from a comp to go watch you boyfriend's race what the fuck?!?!?!

MOTHER language young lady first of all he my fiance and he is gonna be your step father soon

Y/N he is not gonna be my anything as far as I'm concerned and the only way I am going is if you drag me there kicking and screaming so fuck you

MINJI babe where is u at?

Y/N @ the Aussie Gp 💀 ... girl don't u remember me telling you guys about this 🙄

HANNI We do but your mom just called asking if we knew where you were 😭😭

Y/N wtf would you guys know where I am 😐

DANIELLE cuz aparently she can't find you and she thinks you are trying to catch a flight out of the country to avoid spending time with her and lewis 🫣

Y/N tf is this bitch on? I would never put that much effort into her let that be know first and for most 😝 second of all I'm hanging out with Max and Daniel 😌 so dw I'm not trynna skip town 😔

HAERIN Max and Daniel? as in like Red Bull's drivers Max and Daniel as in like Mad Max 😡 and big dick Danny ric 🤠

Y/N ew 🤢🤢🤮🤮 never say that again 🚫 but yes that would be them 👍

MINJI ... proof or it never happened 👀

Y/N

happy now?

HANNI okay but how did you even meet?

Y/N walked off to have a smoke and ran into them and started talking

DANIELLE ain't your mom gonna be pissed though?

Y/N why?

HAERIN cuz your created a better bond with Max and Daniel then what you have with Lewis

Y/N tbh I don't really fucking care Lewis seems like an alright guy ngl but I don't like how my mother is forcing me to spend time with him it's awkward and weird escpially since my dad is refusing to answer my calls or texts and everytime a ask my mother about it she says "maybe he is busy sweetheart" and "well look at it this way it will be the perfect opportunity to bond with Lewis" so yeah I have 0 shits to give rn anyway I need to go time for the race max says I can watch in the red bull garage

NANA (EX WIFE) my plan isn't working I thought by forcing you to stay away Y/N and Lewis could bond but I think she hates him more now

JUNHO (EX HUSBAND) no shit sherlock btw I'm coming to pick Y/N up this weekend she staying at my house till she has to go back to school

NANA (EX WIFE) is that bitch gonna be there?

JUNHO (EX HUSBAND) yes my girlfriend is going to be there and I am going to show you the correct way of introducing your kid to your new partner and that starts by telling them the truth about why you marriage ended in the first place and since you refuse to tell her I will read

[k4marina]

bruce wayne x fem!reader || smau

all images used were found on pinterest !

pt. 2

pt. 3

————

brucewayne

liked by harveydent and 20,482,291 others

brucewayne another successful charity gala.🥂

📍wayne mannor

harveydent another unforgettable night!

brucewayne that’s what i do best

racheldawes thanks for the invite bruce

brucewayne always 🩶

user001 i love rachel x bruce interactions 😭😭

user002 rachel’s with harvey. her and bruce have been friends since they were kids.

user003 i wish i could go to one of these galas and meet bruce and we would fall in love and get married (i’m delulu) 😭

user004 girlll ur so real for this (i’m also delulu) 😭😭

user005 y’all bffr bruce will never go out with any of us 😀

user006 yeah but a girl could dream 🙈 (i need to be locked up in arkham)

posted 04/20/2023

yourusername

liked by yourbff and 8,037 others

yourusername livin’ the life 😎

yourbff girl how tf did you get in there 😭

yourusername bitch idefk 😭😭

user007 wait this room looks familiar 🤔

user008 yea isn’t this bruce wayne’s gala room?

user009 what’s the big deal?

user007 it’s just weird how someone with zero ties to gothams elite was able to get into bruce wayne gala

posted 04/20/2023

brucewyane

liked by yourusername and 20,482,028 others

brucewayne back to work

📍 wayne tower, gotham city

user010 his handsss 🧎‍♀️

user011 love the new necklace 😍😍

user012 ur so real for this bestie

user013 everybody talking about his hands but i’m looking at this man’s back

user014 plsss lemme claw it

posted 04/30/2023

yourusername

liked by brucewayne and 10,038 others

yourusername first time at the opera (am i doing this right?)

yourbff okayyyy i see you 😩

yourusername luv u!! 🫶🫶🫶

user015 ayoo bruce in the likes ?? 😀

user016 bruce, bby wyd here 🤔

user017 omg where did u get that dress??

yourusername xxxx.com :)

posted 05/15/2023

brucewayne

liked by yourusername and 21,038,199 others

brucewayne there’s a first time for everything 🤷‍♂️

racheldawes what happened to going back to work? 🤨

brucewayne shush, i’m allowed to have a break

user018 😀

user019 is this what i think it is???

user020 wait waits going on?? what did i miss??

user021 ppl r thinking that bruce and this one girl r together 😭

user022 wait what 😭

user020 wait what girl??

user022 her yourusername. she was at bruce’s gala last week and now they’re at the same opera

user023 surly it’s just a coincidence 😭 (i’m delusional asf)

user024 i wish but the captions match 😭😭

posted 05/15/2023

brucewayne

liked by yourusername and 22,918,194 others

brucewayne thank you monaco

📍monaco

racheldawes is this the “break” you were talking abt?

brucewayne yes :)

harveydent please tell me you’ll be back for our meeting

brucewayne 🤷‍♂️

user025 WHAAT

user026 babeeee i told you not to post me 😻😻

user027 girl that’s my man’s 😐

user028 WRONG that’s none of our man’s anymore 😭😭😭

posted 06/29/2023

yourusername

liked by brucewayne and 120,294 others

yourusername i 🫶 monaco

yourbff you need to bring me next time you go !!

yourusername ofcofc babes 😩🫶

user029 how does it feel living my life 😭😭

user030 just stop teasing us and post him 😭😭😭😭

user031 i don’t see it. why would bruce be into you?

yourbff um no.1 she’s hot asf no.2 she’s smart and no.3 what makes u think he’d want u 💀💀

user032 LMFAO 😭😭

user033 i need a bestie who’d defend me like this 😭😭

posted 06/29/2023

tmz

liked by user030 and 18,927,928 others

tmz billionaire bruce wayne spotted with rumored girlfriend, y/n l/n, in monaco this last week.

according to inside information, the two met at wayne’s latest charity gala where they were introduced by the head of gotham university’s bioengineering department. y/n l/n was brought as a guest of the head of department and is studying for her phd in bioengineering. she also has a masters in biotechnology.

apparently, the conversation was first about finding new ways to turn waste products into a more sustainable energy source as wayne had shown interest in this topic a while back however, the conversation quickly turned more flirtatious and number were exchanged.

in may, almost a month after the gala, bruce and y/n were together at gotham city opera house. though, they weren’t physically seen together however, they were in the same opera room and their captions were almost identical to each other.

now, almost a month later, they’re seen together in manaco. could this be the start of a new romance?

let us know in the comments.

view 11,392,385 comments

posted 06/30/2023

brucewayne

liked by yourusername and 21,397,928 others

brucewayne my girl 🤍

tagged yourusername

yourusername muahhhhh

yourusername ily 🫶🫶🫶

brucewayne i love you too 🫶

racheldawes i told you you’d like her

brucewayne yea yea 😒 (i’m joking, thank you rachel)

harveydent let’s go on a double date??

yourusername yesssss

user034 i’m 😭 so 😭 happy 😭 for 😭 you

user035 she’s literally living the y/n life and i can’t blame her 😭🫶🫶

user036 god, i’ve seen what you’ve don’t for other people 🛐

user037 onggg 😭🙏

posted 07/03/2023

yourusername

liked by brucewayne and 19,395,284 others

yourusername my man my man 😻😻

tagged brucewayne

brucewayne love you too sweetheart 🤍

brucewayne i thought you said you weren’t going to post that third picture 🤔

yourusername srry babes, i had too. you look to cute 🫶🫶

yourbff rue, when was this? 🤨

yourusername 😶

yourbff your still mine

yourusername ofcofc always 😩

brucewayne um 😐

youbff i said what i said 😤

user038 she did it she’s living the life 😭

user039 how does it feel living my dream life 😫

posted 07/03/2023

—

wanted to try smt new and i’ve been on my bruce wayne love train for a hot minute. i’m literally in love with this man someone help me 😭😭😭

anyways the next chapter of heart of the dragon is coming soon. lmk if y’all want a pt. 2 or more bruce wayne fics :)

[getmeoutofhell]

Slashers x f! reader texting

warnings: cussing

a/n: not all of them are in here, but a handful are.

y/n: yo can one of you guys please feed babadook, also make sure the kitchen stays clean. thank you!

art: no

y/n: fym no

ethan: i’ll try to feed him if i can. i might need some guidance tho 😅

y/n: all good ethan, thank you! 😊

freddy: why the fuck would you wanna feed that thing? have some standards white boy

jennifer: lmaoo 😭

y/n: guys be nice please.

jason: hi

y/n: hi jason! how are you? :)

jason: 1m g0od

y/n: that’s good! 👍

corey: hey everyone

y/n: oh hey corey!

hannibal: what is this?

y/n: this is a groupchat with everyone doctor. it’s so we can communicate better when one of us is not at home.

hannibal: that’s fine y/n.

patrick: what the hell is this? and why is fredrick on my phone?

freddy: piss off you ocd bitch

will: 😂

y/n: okay guys chill out

*patrick batemen left the group*

freddy: 😂

penny: 🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨🫨

art: 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲

y/n: please for the love of god, don’t start spamming again you two.

art: i’m going to the park

y/n: okay take the other 3 with you please

art: 👍🏻

ethan: hey y/n?

y/n: yeah wsp?

ethan: would you uh, like to go out sometime? like to the movies or something? only if you’re cool with it

jennifer: ouh since when did ethan grow balls? 👀

ethan: y’all do know i’m also a murder right? i’m not a pussy

amber: i smell cap

y/n: *replying to ethan’s chat* yes ofc! how about we go somewhere when i get back to the house??

ethan: yeah that sounds good!

ethan: also amber shut up

amber: make me

ethan: k i got you

*ethan removed amber freeman from the group*

*y/n added amber freeman to the group*

y/n: omg

anabelle: #%\*+¥’

y/n: tf

freddy: since when did that damn thing have a phone?

y/n: that’s the same thing i’m wondering 😅

anabelle: mortem

y/n: bro what

pinhead: she said ‘death’ in latin.

y/n: oh really?

*y/n removed anebelle from the group*

y/n: not today bitch

[jwnzlvr]

YOU KNOW WHAT IM FEINING FOR??

Lowkey want Vampire!Niki to fuck me into an oblivion while he bites THE FUCK out of my neck, collarbones and titties. Sorry to all those who are ANTI-NIKI Smut ppl, but seriously suck my dick. Don’t like- don’t read? It’s so comical to read your clap backs at people deadass threatening to kill you like bitch, bffr like deadset GROW TF UP? JUST LIKE NIKI DID? straight up tryna play the hero like hoe you be showing up anon and STILL tryna be scary like guurrrrl?

Anywho pls do this ask IM BEGGING.

PLEASEEEE THANK YOU LMFAOO 😭 ppl really need to grow up about it, like get a job or some shit. but yes TO WHAT U SAID!!! look, i’ve never written vampire anything so im gna give this my best shot pls be patient w me 🙏🏻

warnings : nsfw (mdni)

vampire!riki with an oral fixation!! he’s so obsessed with having his fangs in you, whether it be on your neck, your collarbones, your tits, literally any part of you. he absolutely begs for you to let him have just a small taste of you.

so you oblige, of course. you couldn’t say no to riki even if you tried. you sit on his lap as he bites on your neck. his sharp teeth make you hiss with every bite yet you can’t help the slight pleasure you get from him being so aggressive.

the pleasure increases tenfold when he moves on to your tits. he fondles one while biting the other. it looks so sore, almost purple from how hard he’s biting. but you feel like cumming just from him biting. needless to say, you also love when he’s biting all over you!

(i tried my best pls don’t burn me at the stake im new to vampire things 😞)

[pastelpousay]

Disney Villans reaction to reader calling them little omega 💀

A/N:just so we’re all clear..this shit is clearly a joke I just thought this was funny all of this is a joke even the warnings

Warnings: fluff, some cursing..(sorry pook I’m a bit of a sailor)mentions of tough alpha zaddy, mentions of super submissive omega uwu senpapi

Jafar:

Was like actually shocked…

What tf did you just say??

“Excuse me..??”

Little Omega

Bitch wtf

Then when you repeat yourself…

He’s bewildered

“I know for a fact you didn’t just call me that”

HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL OMEGA MEANS

Im pretty sure once he does find out what that means

He’s never gonna look at you the same again

Especially with the given context and the voice you said it in

He just sort of side eyes you now

Okay but on a real note is actually wondering what the hell is wrong with you…

“It’s okay little omega” bitch what????

He just stands there in shock, trying not to cringe

Is still wondering what’s wrong with you

That was so random and it came out of no where he knows your joking and all but like…

That was unnecessary and unneeded 😐

And if you ever call him that in public….

He’s currently fighting the urge to actually kill you

What tf is wrong with you

He doesn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea about either on of you

So don’t call him that in public…or at all actually 😃

Like he knows your joking but also…be normal

“My dear…do you have to joke around like this?? It’s a bit odd my love..”

“It’s okay if you can’t handle these big alpha jokes little omega, you’ll get used to them soon”

“In what world are you the quote on quote “alpha””

“This one”

Every time you call him that be prepared to have a full blown conversation about who would be the alpha

And jafar is dead set on taking that alpha spot 💀

Hades(my man 😍):

He just gave you this super unamused look

He gets the joke, and the reference but he’s actually done with you….

How he gets the reference we’ll never know 🤷🏾‍♀️

Sometimes if he’s feeling playful he’ll play along but that’s in private…..but never do this bs in public

Or infront of pain and panic

He’d actually just end all three of you right then and there

“Hey little omega how was work??”

“…….okay you need to stop, babe..it’s getting out of hand”

“What’re you talking about, are you forgetting I’m the alpha wolf here little one???”

“….—_— get away from me..”

No but like he’s actually done with you

Why

he gets the joke but like….

Like I said before he does play along with you so remember if he gets on your ass about it remember to take note of what he says when he does play along

“Hey there my little omaga…how are you today”

“Good my big strong alpha wolf”

“…….screenshotted!!-“

“Wait what…wtf is a screenshot??”

IM THE ALPHA IM THE LEADER IM THE ONE TO TRUST

And also just like jafar, he likes to fight over which role he is

“I told you before little pup, you aren’t ready to be an alpha”

“Do I look little to you….”

yea, he also sometimes does genuinely wonder if you’re joking are not..

How would he know he’s not a mind reader

It’s like a 30-40 % chance…

He often just brushes the topic aside

I mean it’s weird yes but it’s not like he’ll love you any less

Pain and panic have definitely overheard some of those conversations

Don’t tell hades 💗

Gaston:

His reaction to that information:

No like literally he would make this exact face 💀

He didn’t get the reference or that it was even a joke in the first place

What does ‘omega’ even mean???

I’m pretty sure he’d be the only one to never question you about it and just rolling with it for the hell of it 😭😭💀

He secretly wonders if your joking or not

He sure is hoping so..

He won’t play along with you either he’ll just kinda look at you funny

Or he’ll roll his eyes and or chuckle a bit

Not even knowing what that even is

He secretly questions why he likes you

What drove him to like Such a…

Freak…

Lightheartedly of course 😙

He will still question if there’s something wrong with you

He just now registered that it’s a joke but like

Why can’t you be normal…

What was the reason???

He doesn’t understand it

No matter how many times you explain he’s still confused

Your only allowed to do this in public because he doesn’t understand what an ‘omega’ is

Once he does….

Ngl his goofy ass would probably be shellschocked 💀💀 not even upset about it 💀😭

But like…he’s still salty about it

And if you guys ever have a disagreement he’ll definitely bring that up

Like it’s fucking blackmail 😭💀

“I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT IS!!”

“…that’s why I’m the alpha bitch 🐺🤫🧏‍♂️”

Meanwhile he doesn’t even know what blackmail means probably 💀

He’s so fucking goofy bro- i love him sm

Dr. Failicer

I’m gonna be dead honest….

He knew you had to have been joking…there’s no way you just said that and now have the audacity to laugh about it in his face

“….your ass better be joking…”

He said that in more of a warning tone if anything

Like he’d loose his mind if you were actually being serious

Now that he knows you aren’t(for sure)

He can somewhat live in peace (not really)

Still thinks your a mega freak

Lowkey uses this shit as blackmail

He always gives you that look after you say some shit like that

Like it’s either that 100 yard stare or the “Ik you didn’t” ahh look

“Hello baby, my little omega-“

“Tf is wrong with you-“

He gets used to ur bullshit after a while but like and starts to laugh with you about it

But still don’t do this shit in public with him

There will be an argument about it

Everytime you do it now he just smiles and rolls his eyes choosing not respond with to you bs

“Pookie butt omega…why’re ignoring me 🥺🥺🥺”

“…chér…..just……be normal for once please”

Bro is begging 💀

Don’t get me wrong he thinks it’s funny and all but still 😭😭😭

Your lucky he loves you enough to deal with this type of buffoonery

Hook (ft jake and the neverland pirates cuz jake is his son 🤫🧏‍♂️)

Definitely had to do a double take….

The only thing he got out of that was ‘little’

But still wtf💀

“……what’re you on about dear….”he says pinching in between his brows

He doesn’t even know what that means

Nor will he get the reference

Probably ever

And even then he’s still done with you and your bs

Don’t get caught doing this shit when Peter is around either

Or his crew for that matter

If you do it in front of Mr. Smee they’ll be giving each other that look💀💀

“Are they okay??”

“I think the barnacles are starting to get to them”

💀💀💀

Ngl this shit would probably spread to jake so quick it’s not even funny💀💀

“You don’t get it dad your not an alpha wolf like the rest of us 💪🐺” 💀💀💀

By this point he’d actually just turn a blind eye to it

He’s so done with you

First Mr. smee now jake??

Wow

Might as well the rest of the crew huh??

The only person that knows what an alpha is is probably jake and that’s cause you taught him 💀💀

He gets that your joking and all (now at least)

After a while it’s probably just be such a normal occurrence to the point he just gives up

“Hey little omaga, how are you??”

“Good my…..alpha-“ he shudders at the thought of even calling you that but I digress

Still don’t do this infront of the crew 💀💀

You already got jake in on it he doesn’t need his crew knowing about what a freak you are….but hey he loves that freak right?? 😭😭

Just kidding your not a freak

Just a bit of a weirdo

And talking with you definitely doesn’t get old

Frollo (haven’t watched this movie in a while so forgive me if this isn’t accurate)

Your ass is getting crucified idk what to tell you 🧍🏾‍♀️

Jk(not really)

He’d definitely be baffled

He give you this disgusted look then shake his head before walking away

He needs at least an hour long break from you after that 😭💀

He never would have thought you would’ve done something like this

But whatever

He didn’t register it was a joke but while he’s taking his break from you he’d probably figure it out

He still thinks it’s a really weird joke

It doesn’t even make sense😭

He questions you about it later

In the end he still doesn’t get the point of the joke

“How is that funny in any way shape or form”

“It just is”

“It just isn’t”

“But it is”

“But it’s not”

“Shut the fuck up little omega daddy’s always right🤫🧏‍♂️”

Que frollo fainting

You two will usually go back and forth about this topic

After a while he won’t even care to argue about it anymore it just becomes a borderline normal occurrence

Key word borderline

He still thinks it mega weird no matter whether it’s a joke or not

It’s exasperating for him at this point

“Why must you you be this way?”

“It’s funny to see you upset 🥳”

Another one of villans whos done with you shit

Everytime you do it it gives him a migraine

But hey it’s worth it to keep his love entertained right?? 😭

Maleficent

Her actual reaction not even kidding

What’s wrong with you man??

She just looked at you

It wasn’t even worth it to her to respond 💀

Your lucky she didn’t turn you into a rat after that 💀💀

She knows you were joking

The joke just didn’t land

“…….omega…….?? I’m the omega here???”

“…….sorry pookie🧎”

She soon realizes she made a mistake by not checking you behavior

Because you kept at it

Now the only response you get is her face scrunching up in disgust

It’s so funny bro 😭😭

“How’s my little omega kitten today, mally??”

“…….I should have turned you into a salamander when I had the chance 🤦‍♀️”

There’s not really much else

There’s not really anyone else around that can catch you doing it

But if they were to shed actually just kill you both 💀💀

She’s sick of you to say the least

She knows you joking why can’t you be normal or quiet at least

Definitely questioning why she hasn’t killed you yet or why she loves you for that matters

When you do this you might doubt if she does at all but her not turning you into the rat you are should be proof enough 🥳🥳

I would have added the others but I got hella lazy and I had already spent over a week on this so enjoy little omegas of the world 🥳🥳🥳 I might add more later but who knows

I’m never writing again /j

[imnameimswrld]

ㅤㅤⵌ ׄ ۪ 𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐁 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐑 ⁰⁰ ׄ ⑅ CEW ‌˖ ֺ ᰮ

— DESCRIPTION ੭ in which they learn about the woman mr cha eunwoo bagged... and she's far more than just the owner of south korea's hottest club.

— PAIRING ੭ cha eunwoo x fem!aston!driver.

— FILE ੭ social media au.

— SERIES ੭ "WAIT...THEY MAKE SENSE !?"

— WARNINGS ੭ language.

— FACE CLAIM ੭ lisa of BLACKPINK.

❪ main masterlist | kpop masterlist | f1 masterlist ❫

━━━━━━━━━━❪ 🖤 ❫━━━━━━━━━━

eunwoo.o_c

📍 Club Seoular, Seoul, South Korea

liked by ddana_yoon, mj_7.7.7, and 1 232 222 others

eunwoo.o_c 🕺.

View all comments

mj_7.7.7 no one ask me anything.

↳ user LMAO BRO HAS BEEN SWORN TO SECRECY

user AYO...HUH

user lee dongmin, a damn explanation would be nice 😭... what happened to hello, how are you ?

user I ain't no sheldon genius kid but, I am a y/n l/n stan, and THAT people, looks like my girlie.

↳ user dude...Y/N AND EUNWOO !?!? like, like, like, Y/N L/N AND CHA EUNWOO !?

↳ user lol who tf is this girl ?

↳ user who- "WHO" !? daaawwggg, u got me lmao in public rn

↳ user you're telling me there are people who don't know who Y/N L/N IS !?!? nah das crazy.

↳ user guys, we can't just assume that's y/n just because it's her club, u literally can't see shit on the picture 😭

ddana_yoon where's my pic creds ???

ddana_yoon no ? okay.

ddana_yoon ynusername, tell eunwoo hyung to give me creds or I'll expose ur relationship.

ddana_yoon oh- oopsies 🤭

↳ ynusername i don't even have the words...

↳ eunwoo.o_c i- you- I'm coming for you.

↳ user OKAY NAH SANA U WRONG FOR THAT (thank u pookie) !!!

ynusername added to their story ! • 1hr

seen by eunwoo.o_c, fernandoalo_official, and 1 222 242 others

user replied to your story !

OH U TELL 'EM QUEEN

user replied to your story !

EUNYN RAAARRRRR !!!!!

oh okay 😭

MOTHER !?

astonmartinf1

liked by ynusername, eunwoo.o_c, and 1 924 332 others

astonmartinf1 and that's p1 in miami !!! all hail the aston princess, because she's done it again 💚👑 (btw, have u checked out ClubSeoular_official yet ???)

#Y/nL/n #MiamiGP #F1 #AstonMartinF1

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ynusername let's gooooo !!! 💚

user l/n has literally scored p1 for five years IN A ROW in Miami, that track is her bitch and no one can convince me otherwise ✋[ liked by ynusername ]

eunwoo.o_c 😍😍😍

user WAIT DID YA'LL SEE EUNWOO AT THE RACE 😭

↳ user giiiirrlll, not only did he look HELLA (he's he's much taller in person holy shit), he was literally attached to y/n's side whenever he could be it was so cute 😭

↳ user omg yes and this was ALL week too !

↳ user ALL WEEK !?!? you mean to tell me he was there for sprints AND quali and I NEVER NOTICED 😀😃

ynusername added to their story ! • 1hr

seen by p_rocky, ast_jinjin, and 2 024 923 others

eunwoo.o_c

liked by fernandoalo_official, ynusername, and 1 989 232 others

eunwoo.o_c so incredibly proud of you my love, i always am 💚

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user excuse me while I go cry in that cold and dark corner for a sec

ynusername my whole support system, I love you so much chacha 💋

↳ eunwoo.o_c I love you more princess 🥰

↳ user chacha ??? nah that's actually really cute 😭

user they're literally both the most randomest, and adorable couple of the century.

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𔘓. 𔘓. 𔘓.

taglist: @minkyungseokie @dreamyzhou @treehouse-mouse

[n3ptoonz]

Hello! I saw your most recent headcanon list thing with the Earthrealm guys being caught Slonking it Silly Style™ and uh. I was just wondering if you'd be willing to do something similar with the Outworld guys as well? Obviously you don't have to if you don't want to, but I think it would be neat! Thank you so much in advance! I love your work :)

deep, dramatic sigh. (kidding anon tysm i gush over comments like this ily smoochhhh) also the terminology made me laugh out loud ty for that

Shang Tsung

kinda sorta didn't gaf. who's to say he didn't want you to hear him. the world may never know

you were to report to him about some findings for his experiments and there he was, leaning over the table and straight up cranking it over a bucket (he's odd like that) honestly when you acknowledge your own presence he's like... can i help you?? you see i'm busy???

but at the same time he's like hold up i have a fine specimen here to help me out here...he's leaving here with SOMETHING (studio laughter)

Rain

i don't think he'd care either if you walked in on him. in fact, he might welcome it. he's used to having his own space, but he doesn't mind sharing it with people he's ok with being around. yes that includes you (is it only you? not even he knows yet)

day 8163 of using Rain's arrogance to push my narrative that he's not only in love with himself but how he looks in the mirror. you definitely walked in on him wanking it in the mirror and he'd freeze but recover so quick

ain't no way you're leaving here after you just caught him though. how else will his problems get solved? you went and made him hard all over again!

Reptile

syzoth has two, let's get that out the way. AND he uses both hands for them LMAOO

president of syzoth is a lil subby bitch society. so when you catch him tugging on both and reduced to a pathetic mess from his own hands??? he's frozen and quite literally has no clue what to do. he's sweaty, there's tears in his eyes, and his fangs are much more pronounced than usual

once you give him the green light that you're into whatever tf he was just doing watch him crawl over to you on all fours and hug your legs, practically begging you to touch him

Havik

expect this smug fuck to claim he wanted this to happen. dude was hunched over and going at it behind his own desk, grunting like a cave man who discovered self pleasure for the first time

1000% expect him to demand you help him, but instead it's after he froze for like 5 seconds and then tried to play it off

he would also be internally shocked when agree to finish the job, but on the outside it's like "that's what i thought...now get over here" whole time he's jumping up and down and twirling in his brain

Reiko

it's already rare that he has time to himself and definitely RARELY has time to be with you for an extended period of time, so you catching him when you wanted to surprise him with your presence it triggered his fight or fight LMAO

legit laughed at the thought of him jumping up from his chair hands ready to be thrown...but his dick is swinging PLSSSSSS

he's like well shit now he deserves your help after you almost got two pieced by your own boyfriend...but who's complaining?!

General Shao

this man weirdly reminds me of bowser sometimes. with that being said i think he'd do a BUAHA as a shocked sound when you catch him thwoping the schlong

as much as i can't fucking stand him he does look a lil better in this game i will admit. i'm not gonna sit up here and lie, he def has a HUGE wanker innit. so you didn't miss shit when you walked into his chambers

he would also demand your help. but if you have a lil push back just for fun, he'd eventually say please and be all soft and shit. why? cause it's you god damn it!

Baraka

let's be fr. truly i do not think mk1 baraka would masterbate simply bc he's like depressed all the time😭but for the sake of shits and gigs, ill humor y'all

let's say he hasn't seen you in a while and misses you dearly. he knew you were on a quest for a while, and he was very pent up... so what better way to release stress other than sparring! oh. not enough? time for another type spar 😈

if this were old baraka i'd say he has two 👁️ but since this version of tarkat is a disease let's say it made the skin around his wee like ribbed or something ya SO when you caught him he was in a straight up panic and apologizing profusely but once you calm him down and tell him you're glad he missed you so much, he's like oh shit...well help me out then...only if you want to!

a/n: i did it y'all FUCK. my bad for taking so long to release this i'm a perfectionist to a fault💀