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#BUT I NEED TIME WHICH I DON'T HAVE
allboutheyaoi · 1 year
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The last ask was supposed to be in anon mode, please do not publish it, but yeah the masterlist link broke :(
It's working fine on my end, but here's the link just in case you still can't access it: << MASTERLIST >>
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inkskinned · 3 months
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before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.
you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"
and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.
it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.
you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.
in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.
the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.
you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.
after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.
the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.
you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.
#warm up#writeblr#this is also about being ace btw#my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it#bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like#trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner#and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them.#which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in!#but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected!#> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess#> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT#i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know#but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace''#bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual#it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward.#TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND#AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE#bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex#and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs#and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex''#WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it.#not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden?#even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB#i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point#but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one#and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''
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lucabyte · 2 months
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Taking pride in One's own appearance.
#you people are becoming my guinea pigs for my finally learning how to communicate information via comics. a thing ive needed to practice at#also BLEGH. YUCK. andrew hussie was right candy makes you sick. this is a little too saccharine for me. yeesh. let me get back to the meat.#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#doodlebyte#'let me get back to the meat' i say eyeing something similarly sickly in my sketches. at least it's mildly tormented as a counterbalance...#you people have no idea how much im having to stay my own hand. oh i can draw miserable nudity but the most basic of fluff? visceral#anyway i dont know the logistics of picking up a glass eye or where loop got money (besides pilfering from siffrin) & ive previously drawn#sif with a vague blank middle-grey eye as either being scarred over or a blank occular prosthesis put in quickly at the nearest town#i dont know that they'd have a glass eye during the game but considering prosthesis are reccomended to keep the skull etc from deforming#id imagine it would probably come up postgame as something to do now theyre not on a time limit trying to save the country#plus i assume that having it gouged at by a sadness wasnt exactly a clean wound by any measure#all this to say. idk i just wanted to get some information across in comic form to Test my Abilities#and we're far enough down now to say my absolute most wretchingly sweet fluff headcanon that actually inspired this#which is that i think siffrin gets into the habit of not wearing the eyepatch around loop so they kinda match.#and as a signifier to the other that they're letting their guard down around them. vulnerability etc.#just kinda wearing it around their neck so they don't lose it
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welcometogrouchland · 5 months
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I understand that literature nerd Jason Todd is kind of overblown in fanon compared to it's actual presence in canon (a few issues during his pre (and post?)crisis Robin tenure that highlight it) BUT consider that I think it's hilarious if the unhinged gun toting criminal has strong opinions on poetry
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#Jason Todd#batfamily#it's just a fun quirk! it's a fun lil detail and I simply cannot slight ppl for enjoying and incorporating it into works#like obviously jason isn't the only one. I'm a big believer in the batfam having over lapping interests they refuse to bond over#i know dick canonically used the robin hood stories (which are pretty flowery in their language far as i can tell) as inspo for Robin#and i know babs was a librarian and even tho her area of nerddom is characterized as more computery she probably knows quite a lot-#-about literature as well#duke is a hobbyist writer i believe? i saw a fan mention that- which if so is great and I hope he's also a nerd#(i mean he is canonically. i remember him being a puzzle nerd in his introduction. but i mean specifically a lit nerd)#damian called Shakespeare boring but also took acting classes so i think he's more of a theatre kid.#Tim's a dropout and i don't think he's ever shown distinct interest in english lit and i can't remember for Steph?#I'm ngl my brain hyperfocused on musician Steph i forget some of her other interests I'm sorry (minus softball and gymnastics!)#and then Cass had her whole (non linear but it's whatevs) arc about literacy and learning to read#went from struggling to read in batgirl 00 to memorizing Shakespeare in 'tec and is now an avid read in batgirls!#she's shown reading edgar allen poe but we don't know if it's his short stories or his poems#point to all of the above being: i know Jason's not the only lit nerd in the batfam#but also i do need him to be writing poetry in his spare time and reading and reviewing it#jason at the next dead robins society meeting: evening folks today I'll be assigning all of us poems based on laika the space dog#damian and steph who have been kidnapped and brought to jasons warehouse to hangout: LET US GO BITCH#speaking of^ random poem i think jason would like: space dog by alan shapiro#wake up one morning in an unfamiliar more mature body with a profound sense of abandonment. the last four lines. mmm tasty
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daily-sifloop · 3 days
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YOOOOOO SLOOPS BLOG!!! A request......perhaps post dueling. But of the silly variety and not the "I'll kill you and take your place" variety.
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Day 3: out of adrenaline
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royalarchivist · 4 months
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I say this in the kindest way possible, but I think this style of prose is more appropriate for a personal account rather than an update account. I have no idea who's being talked about half the time. 🥲
[ Tumblr meme via @mikaikaika ]
#QSMP#Philza#Edited#Phil#Let me know if this needs an additional tag#I don't think this necessitates a discourse or neg tag or whatever because I'm being silly but I'm happy to add one if folks need it#I won't post this one on Twitter I don't think because I genuinely don't want to hurt anyone's feelings#but. I feel very strongly about this. It's not helpful#I say this as a fan and as a professional writer (who also worked in the Marketing and Communications field for far too long)#The prose is nice! It's very whimsical and they're having fun! But I don't think it's appropriate for an updates account#I recently turned off notifications for QsmpEN and I'm considering muting them because half the updates just aren't helpful to me#I want to be able to speed read through the update thread I don't want to spend an additional 30 seconds trying to decipher who's who#I don't like posting complaints so I tried to make it a funny complaint#because I do think feedback is good! And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way#but at the same time: these update writers ARE volunteers#(As a side note -- I personally think anyone running a large social media account should be paid)#(I did that for a few years and it was hell. I can't imagine doing that and NOT getting paid for it)#But anyways#They're all volunteers so I don't actually wanna go all pitchforks and torches on them (which I wouldn't do anyways even if they WERE paid)#I'm just venting my frustrations in what is (hopefully) a funny way#but you're welcome to disagree! That's ok too#Portfolio
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sergle · 1 month
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the only downside of my personal art and self portraits being semi well received (thank u by the way) is that on occasion some wah wah transphobe blog will get ahold of it and sing my praises of Wombmanhood and Femininity. which is so fucking funny, because terfs harassed me relentlessly about the fact that I pursued a breast reduction (butchering my body, reducing my femininity, being brainwashed, and so on) only to sing praises to my current body as The Natural Female Form. very, very funny. I normally do portraits of my body, for the extremely, *extremely* obvious reasons, which include but are not limited to: I have infinite reference images of my own body. but I think I would like to expand, in the future
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leupagus · 2 months
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The thing about starting to watch 911 in its 7th season is that it's kind of like watching Game of Thrones in its 7th season, ie characters have gone through the most BONKERS FUCKING POSSIBLE character arcs that they just reference super-casually all the time. Like hey remember how Daenerys walked into blazing infernos she herself started MULTIPLE TIMES? Remember how Buck got STRUCK BY LIGHTNING AND DIED? Or that time there was a tsunami? Or that time the evil queen blew up a whole-ass cathedral?
Just, the 911 wiki must be truly insane
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loxare · 2 months
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So I was rewatching the hbomb plagiarism video to get some chill morning embroidery time in and I got to the bit about Radclyff Hall and her book, The Well of Loneliness, about lesbian WW1 ambulance drivers, and the video says all of her books were ordered burned, but I was curious and fam. At least one person hid their copy. It's on Project Gutenberg Australia. So if you want to read about lesbian ambulance drivers in the first world war...
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buglaur · 10 months
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sophiethewitch1 · 4 months
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dick grayson who needs to be useful and needed to feel loved vs reader who is hypervigilant of their own fault and tries desperately not to be a burden: fight
it ends in tears. unstoppable force versus immovable object. you don't want to make his life any harder because you can see he's struggling. he's just straight up begging. i said in last post tags he'd moan if you ask him to get you a glass of water. ask him to make you a snack and he'll just straight up come in his pants.
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canisalbus · 3 months
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Different Italian anon, but the thing with Tuscan C is that it's pronounced like a very strong H sound, which is extra weird cuz the letter H makes no sound in Italian, normally. It sounds the way Spanish pronounce the J. We say it's "aspirato". So then people from there will say things like Hoha Hola (coca cola), and it's funny. It's also extremely contagious, I got family in Florence, you spend 3 days with them you start doing it too before you even realize.
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mattodore · 4 months
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delphi, bitten pack member, mate
#river dipping#delphi sol#lykos#ts4#ts4 edit#ts4 cas#simblr#no good morning just immediately firing shots LOOK 🫵 AT HER 🫵#GOD............................... WEREWOLF WOMAN WHO WILL TEAR INTO ME WITH HER CLAWS AND REVEL IN THE WARMTH OF BLOOD I WANT YOUUU#SHE'S SO SEXY LIKE. SAID THIS OVER ON PF ALREADY BUT I NEED TO BE FOUR FINGERS DEEP INSIDE HER ALREADY#FACE FIRST IN HER BREASTS LIKE. DYKERY IN MY MIND THE LIKES OF WHICH YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVEEEEE RN#FEMMES............. I AM YOURS ALWAYS AND FOREVER <3#...me thinking delphi is the sexiest woman alive aside... look at her pointy wolf ears sticking out!!#and yeah... her and ria both have scars on their throats. they gave them to each other :)<3#they're werewolf soulmates..... of course it's that intense and serious they had to wound each other#delphi's is from when ria turned her but ria's is from delphi wanting to mark ria back... normally it'd heal but :)#ria is a born wolf and delphi is their little werewolf mate... which means they don't heal like a wolf would at delphi's hands#delphi's not a born wolf tho so </3 not the same for her. but turning scars always stay with the body along with any other wounds#that were already there at the time of turning...#<- this is real lykos story lore so. don't look too closely at ria's scars from that last post. they don't actually make sense#i just thought wow... those are sexy. and put them on her kjdgfkhfn#none of the lykos ocs' scars are canon until i make them myself#but dionte's eye scar and delria's throat scars are canon!! i'll make custom ones one day but for now! i'm just rocking with what i've got
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mumblesplash · 2 years
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don’t you hate it when your civilization flees deep underground to escape the wither only to find yourselves trapped down there with something even worse. anyway surprise! i can still draw
#my art#minecraft#minecraft fanart#minecraft ancient cities#they named it the warden because they were its prisoners i will die on this hill#see fellas when i said i was brainrotting about ancient cities i meant like advanced stages of decay#Bad Syndrome: instead of a brain there is sculk#i'm still pondering additional designs for like guards/soldiers and redstone specialists etc#also yeah i was like ok time to design generic ancient city residents for outfit concepts#and bc i'm me they immediately became Characters and now it's a whole thing#their names are echo and felix and they hate each other <3#echo was actually a temple kid like felix growing up but he fled to the outer city due to irreconcilable differences w the sculk worshippers#felix keeps trying to convince him to come back bc he was one of their most talented alchemists#they don't quite have echo's talent for magic but they make up for it in charisma and violent tendencies#neither of which have yet proved effective in convincing echo to come work for them#these days he mostly dedicates his potion skills to making life a bit more bearable for outer city residents#he got the nickname 'echo' due to his knack for inducing realistic auditory hallucinations of dead loved ones#...i TOLD you it turned into a whole thing#i also have a pet theory that ancient cities invented skeleton horses bc they needed horses but also leather and meat#but that's mostly bc i think the phrase 'have your horse and eat it too' is rly funny
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theminecraftbee · 4 months
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incidentally if you don't see much of me for a bit: side order has reminded me that i do, in fact, DEEPLY enjoy splatoon 3, lol, and i am maybe a touch distracted by that,
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kirby-the-gorb · 30 days
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