#BUT THEN TO KNOW SHE FUCKED UP SO BADLY SHE CANT FIXED IT AND NOW JACK IS STUCK

[the-diabolic-acid]

everyday i think about the lost angst potential of rose finding out what she did to jack and i punch a wall

[divinesolas]

Fighting words

summary: one of the bracken boys has been hitting on you for days now and youre sick of it. He happens to take it too far with you and your best friend shows you a side of himself you’ve never seen. and you like it. a lot.

Benjicot Blackwood x Fem!Cerwyn!reader | 1.3k wrds

c.w: probably very occ as we dont know like anything abt him in the show 😭😭, slightly smutty, takes place before any battles, not proofread

he wouldn’t leave my mind, so take this 😁

masterlist - requests are open!!

tags: @hxtd

“No. Leave me alone bracken.” you try to shove him away from you but the bracken boy just grins at you and leans closer into you.

“Oh come on cerwyn, i see how you look at me~” a scoff escapes your lips as you stare at him with disgust. “In your fucking dreams, seriously. Leave me alone.”

You didn’t even know this guys name but he had been bothering you for the last couple days. It had started out small with him trying to invite you to come drink with him and his friends to him offering to carry around your stuff for you when you were walking around.

“theyre arrows bracken.”

“so what? must be heavy for you youre a girl.”

He grossed you out. But didn’t matter even if he didn’t,

“she said no.”

The two of you turn to look at the new voice and a smile creeps up on your face. The bracken boy rolls his eyes as he glares, “the hell do you want blackwood.”

“she said no. Back off.”

youve been friends with the lord of house blackwood for since you were younger and hes always been so kind to you. It seemed to be obvious to everyone other than him that you were madly in love with the young lord but if he did notice he said nothing about it.

You knew of his, angry? or maybe a better word is his more aggressive behavior. You had never even seen it first hand but multiple people have told you first hand accounts of him losing his temper and blowing up, his normal calm and kind demeanor getting lost to rage and blind madness.

You did not know what to think about the rumors then but seeing the way his eyes twitched and his clenched jaw as he stared at the bracken boy the rumors about him became more and more believable.

The bracken boy stands and gets all up in bens face, “What are you gonna do about it huh?”

Ben tilts his head and a look you’ve never seen crosses his eyes as he glares. “Get the fuck out of my sight.” His voice is hard like youve never heard before and it has you holding your breath, waiting for the straining thread to snap.

And the thread snaps the second bracken pushes bens chest and laughs. “what? you upset this ugly bitch wants me more than you-“ It happens before you know it and suddenly the two guys are on the floor and everyone in the room jumps up to look.

you freeze. What in the hells are you supposed to do? so you merely watch as the two boys beat the fuck out of each other. Ben pulls ahead at some point and manages to get a few more punches in after pinning the guy down until the two are pulled apart.

“never talk about her like that, no. never talk to her again or else ill fucking kill you.” He thrashes around in the arms of the two blackwood lads that hold him back as he continues to spit insults at the bracken boy as he gets dragged off and out of the space.

Your legs move before you can even think and your standing in front of him, he freezes and blinks at you rapidly. Hes covered in blood, you cant tell which is his and which is the other guys but he looks badly hurt.

He had done it for you. In your name. And you could barely take how hot you felt but he needed you. “i have supplies in my tent let me fix you up.” the boys oooo’d and ben barely acknowledges them as he nods and allows you to drag him off to your tent.

The boys call after you two with some unsavory choice words but you just turn and flip them off before you continue to help ben to your tent. You place him on your bed cot and try to ignore the racing of your heart as he stays quiet, merely looking at you.

Hes usually quiet but not around you. Its odd to see him like this. So you shakily rummage around with the stuff in your chest as you nervously begin to talk. “thank you for stepping in i was really nervous he wasn’t going to leave me alone, you didn’t meed to-“ you gasp as your spun around and lips lock onto yours with fever.

One of his hands reach behind you and push all your stuff off your table, lifting up you up to sit on it while he kisses you. You gasp against his lips and he takes the opportunity to stick his tongue in your mouth.

Your head is spinning. You can taste the metallic taste of his blood seep into your mouth and it laces its way into your kiss. You fear you’re dreaming. You felt asleep on watch shift again and when you wake this will all just be a dream.

Yet when you grip your hand against his waist he pulls away and winces. You are pulled back to reality and try to pull away to grab your medical supplies that now are all spilled all over the floor but he quickly stops you.

“ben you’re hurt.” “i dont care.” He tries to kiss you again but you dodge it and grip his face in your hands. “ben,” His hand slide around your waist and play with the fabric of your tunic, testing the waters and sliding his hands lower and almost under the tunic you wear. “ben.” you say firmer and he pauses to look at you.

“right now i just need to feel your skin, please.” your heart pounds loudly against your chest and your mouth drops open. “ben,” his name shakily passes your lips and he presses his forehead against yours, his eyes closed. “How dare he talk to you like that. i should have killed him,” his hands slide under your tunic his hot hands run up and down your bare sides slowly. “he should know i take no disrespect to the future lady of blackwood.”

You kiss him unable to take it anymore and he meets your fever eagerly. arms wrapping around you and pulling you so your chest to chest and you can feel him pressing against your trousers.

His lips trail down your jaw as his hands find your breasts and you let out a moan as he squeezes them in his hands. His lips your neck and he sucks at any skin he can get while he grinds his hips against yours. His hands grow more feverish as he uses his teeth to pull down your tunic to expose more of your collarbone and neck, youre sure to be covered in bruises tomorrow but you cant be bothered with that.

One of his hands trails down your stomach and almost gets to reach under your pants until a horn sounds outside and you both look at each other alarmed.

“ugh fuck me.” “wish i could.” you slap him on the chest as he pulls away and he hisses.

“that hurts.” “if you had let me patch you up it wouldn’t be hurting you idiot.” “you certain didn’t look like you were going to complain. not when i was about to-“ “okay! lets go they need us.” you ignore the sound of his laughter as you flap open your tent and rush out leaving him behind, hoping you look presentable enough your men dont ask questions and pray you can continue what you were doing with ben later.

[byjovewhataspend]

Putting on his best outfit to cheer himself up-- it's not really working :(

rambling thoughts about the new manga stuff below

It feels so WILDLY incorrect tonally for none of the villains to be saved. So many people told deku he couldnt save shigaraki and he pushed back against that-- but from any outside view shigaraki dying is the same as Deku killing him, i dont accept 'his ghost smiled so he was saved', afo shattered shigarakis mind the second Tomura's heart wavered and he died instantly (nana saved a little bit of his soul long enough for him to hang out and punch AFO, that had nothing to do with deku)

but the last thing he said before AFO killed him was 'i have to be the hero to the villains' and the last thing he said to deku was essentially 'tell spinner i did was i promised'

but before both of those points almost the entire league (sans compress) is already dead (spinner seems braindead? though the next chapter had people messing with what looked to be his scales so maybe someones working on helping him) so Deku cant tell them anything.

ANYWAYS my 5% hope here, a way to walk this shit back, is that Tomuras quirk 'which used to have a regeneration aspect' regenerated itself and Tomura comes back and Deku gets a second chance to save him for real this time, and then tomura uses the regeneration aspect of his quirk to fix all the rest of the league. he can return Spinner to his old self, and Dabi has GOT to be in that tank in front of Endeavor, right?

(What else in the world does Endeavor have to care about right now except for his family? none of them (or hawks, his only friend) needed a healing tank, so im guessing Dabis horrific husk is in some stasis goo with no hope , spinner is brainded/insane with no hope, toga is probably 'disappeared on the battle field' or maybe in a coma with no hope.. )

((honestly that tank, them not telling us yet if anyones dead (it would be weird to REVEAL people died who we thoughts died on screen a year ago) and the weirdly timed 'tomura couldve been able to regenerate but i removed that' a second before he died are the only reasons i have any hope. im not the hoping type. a series i was interested in ending badly has never been Taken Back before))

i dont know if That Person is Tomura (it didnt LOOK like him, not at all, honestly they looked like a woman to me, but who the fuck knows when they are doing Anime Crazy Face) but it feels like the only way to walk any of this back.

They put so much emotional stuff onto tomura and then gave him the worlds clearest 'he never had any choice to be this way' backstory EVER (even his BIRTH was arranged by AFO thats so fucked up, i wouldnt be shocked if he bought him the dog he killed too) that the ONLY doubt i had that Deku would save him was in that i wasn't sure how youd arrange to keep him out of prison for life. Id been guessing 'rewound to childhood to get a second chance at a better one' (not great but hey, it beats dead or tartaras and it matches that opening i liked) but hey, if hes Confirmed Dead and Deku finds someone Similiar To Him but with Fixing Powers and is liek 'hey everyone this is my brother Tenko my american dad just brought him over isnt that great?' id fucking take it

ALSO plucking Eris horn off so that she wasnt an option anymore like.. from a writing standpoint feels like it has to be FOR something.

Finally: deku looked SO depressed in the most recent chapter. he looked miserable. he hardly spoke a fucking word. considering how he acted about Eri i cant imagine hes the type to be like 'whelp, failed to save those people, i guess ill save a random different person in the final arc and thatll help me get over it'. truly i think if deku to failed to save tomura he'd spend the rest of his life not feeling like a real hero. especially when he checks to complete tomuras wish and spinner cant get his final words? and togas final words to deku was that she liked him and then he ran off and she died?? just. no. it feels so tragic and dark.

i do NOT believe horikoshi has that much creative control, honestly, i feel like if he had complete control he wouldnt kill tomura (since hes written a Tenko into like all his other stories and he loves him) but a small glimmer of hope is Dabi getting fuckign 4th place in the popularity results after he'd already become the most dead looking fucker i have ever seen. SURELY management knows hes popular and would be open to them being saved and redeemed just for BRANDING purposes, right?

PS: everyones been joking but he horikoshi SAID we'd see dekus FUCKING DAD. what possible purpose could that man serve when he wasnt even watching deku lose his arms on international tv?? if its as a cover for bringing tomura back ill fucking take it.

[alicentsgf]

I’m loosing my mind with the way they are adding and changing things from the book to something worse, apparently daeron is a bastard( it’s a leak but so far everything has been proven to be right, and with the writers I wouldn’t be so shocked) b&c was a propaganda told by alicent that was forgotten by everyone on the show, I honestly expected it to in the least sort of haunt the narrative for a time like it was one of the biggest breaking point of the dance, rhaenyra was the one who caused the blockade that starved the people and somehow ended up as the savior for sending them food..?

maybe I’m just a hater idk

Its okay im a hater too. Im enjoying the show for what it is now because I know I wont be able to just stop watching, but im not impressed I think thats been clear.

They love to make alicent some kind of massive hypocrite so i cant even say that it would suprise me that much. You can just tell they're itching to say 'look shes no better than rhaenyra!'. genuinely if they make daeron a bastard im gonna go off the deep end. they'd be ruining their own (already weak) characterisation of alicent so the fans can take a cheap shot at her. like the point ISNT that shes morally "better" or "worse" than rhaenyra. Its not fucking abt that. The point has been missed so badly its halfway to the moon by now. Its insane. Theres no fixing it honestly. Even if daerons trueborn, some of the leaks i've heard for the end of the season sound like absolute dogshit. But theres already been so much that doesnt make sense im not even surprised anymore.

Like the whole blockade/famine storyline makes no sense logistically, and it wasnt necessary even if they wanted there to be a riot, the writers are just lazy fucks idk what to tell you. they went with the easy option even with it making no sense. Why do poor people riot? I mean food obviously. The smallfolk could never have actual opinions that would make some of them want to riot ofc. None of them could actually support her claim without getting their Rhaenyra-branded care packages.

Every week i feel like they are spoonfeeding us the sloppiest weakest storytelling ever, even when some of the dialogue and acting is good. every plot point just futhers some half-baked 2nd wave feminist bullshit that comfortably caters to a modern audiences perspective rather than actually exploring the society this all takes place in, all the while skipping over what should be some of the biggest emotional beats of the story just because ?? they cant be bothered to write them ??? Idk.

[lokisivy]

Mad Man- Peter Parker

summary: You and Peter fought about him being reckless when he was saving the city Peter got angry and when he gets angry he gets angry.

Peter's POV is in italics

warnings: Angst, blood, cursing. already established relationship

I supported Peter through everything in his transition through Spiderman, trying to find out what happened with his parents, the loss of his uncle, and finding vengeance for the murder of his uncle. I was happy to be there for him he was the best boyfriend anyone could ask for.

But this was my last straw when he went through my window with blood-soaked hair, bruises on his face, and knife slashes all over his chest The sight was dreadful almost causing tears to run down my face. I was angry at him for getting himself like that it wasn't the first time he had done that. "Peter, what the hell happened!" I yelled my parents were not home.

"Some psycho with a sword." he laughs lightly, holding the leaking wound he lays down on the couch in my bedroom. I got the first aid kit from under my bed. I will yell at him later when he is all patched up.

"fuck that hurts Y/N!" he yelled in pain holding my hips tighter I was stitching his shoulder. I may have been less gentle than normal. "Good" I looked at him briefly. I finished his last stitch and got up to wash my hands.

Peter could sense that you were mad at him. You usually melted in his arms when you were fixing him up. This time, you were stiff and didn't make a convo with him

"Are you mad at me?" Peter asked getting up and following me to the bathroom door

"Yes Peter, I'm mad you got yourself hurt badly," I snap, turning my head.

"Okay, and someone has to do something about what is happening in the city," he shrugged, remaining calm. he is always like that. Clam, he contains himself better than me, and it's frustrating sometimes when we fight and he is not even matching the same level as my voice.

"We have cops for that. It's not your job to go again, drug lords!" My voice got louder. "The cops can't do half of the stuff i can," he said, still clamly, which irritated me more.

"Look at you. you came in covered in blood from head to toe and you may not care about what happens to you because you expect me to patch you up" it was the last time I had to see the love of my life like that I cannot take it when I see him hurting let alone covered in blood almost on the verge of passing out.

"You know you just tell me if you don't want to do that, I don't need you to it. if you don't love me, " he said, trying to guilt trip me he does that every time he gets hurt, trying to make me feel bad.

"No peter its because i love you. You know I won't leave until you're healed," i said, fire building through me why cant he get mad like I am.. he doesn't answer me he stayed silent.

"What you want me to stich you up then kiss you after almost dying, not this time." i turn my back to him, proceeding to wash my hands seeing the crimson blood filling my sink. I took a glimpse in the mirror. i saw him behind me running his hand through his hair, frustrated at my reaction to all of this.

He came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I was about to fall to his touch till I looked up in the mirror and saw the bruises and stitches on his face. "Baby, listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you -"

"Get your hands of me." I pushed him away. None of this sweet talking shit is going to work on me, not this time. you walked out going inside your bedroom.

"What is your problem Y/N Im trying so hard to stay calm and not fight back but your making this so fucking hard," Peter yelled he rarely cursed when he talked. His eyes grew darker. "What's my problem? are you fucking serious right now Peter!" I yelled back at him.

"You are acting like a kid. in the real world, people get hurt, and I'm preventing that from happening, and I'm not gonna stop because Gwen could've been alive," he shouted.

he talked about my best friend she died last year after Harry threw her off the clock tower. peter wasn't fast enough to save her, and I never blamed him. it was never his fault. he loved her too they were planning on moving to Europe together until she died.

"You can save people without getting hurt you decide to push your limits what happened to Gwen was never your fault and you think you're making it better by almost dying each time you get out there but the only person you're hurting is yourself and me because I would rather die than lose you Peter, and if you can't see that then this isn't gonna work out," I said sadness lacing my tone rather than anger I sat down on my bed trying to compose myself and not to cry.

Peter's heart dropped when you said those words he was gonna lose you too because of his actions panic rose to his throat tears almost falling from his eyes as he choked on his words

"Are you- breaking up with me?" his voice quieted down with a shiver "I'm saying if you wanna play with death out there then I'd rather lose you now than fall in love with more and tear me apart when you leave me," I said my voice cracking tears slipping down my face.

"I'm sorry- I failed you-- it's like everyone I touch dies my Uncle Ben, Gwen, Captain Stacy they all died because of me and I will lose you too-" he kneels in front of me in between my legs gently grabbing my face."I can't lose you." he placed his forehead on mine a teardrop falling down his cheeks.

"Now you listen to me. You never failed me Peter you are perfect, and just because things happen doesn't mean we cause it." I grabbed his cheek. "The world takes everyone, but we don't give. you have me till my dying breath, and even then, I'm still yours." his lips crash into mine the kiss we like needed more than the other. i leaned more into him. The kiss was magical until Peter lost balance, and i ended up falling on top of him on the floor. the both of us broke into laughter. "Go shower, you stink.' I slapped his chest lightly. "Excuse me for not smelling like daisies and roses," he giggled, giving me a light peck on my lips "god i love you. you've ruined me for anyone else. " he sits upright, making me straddle his lap and kiss me again with full passion.

[seyfertgalaxy]

Collector rant again :p except im sleep deprived

The fact that the collector knows the draining spell would kill people is so,, out there. but its also so fucked up because he also believes that people, mortals, are like toys. i think this mindset of his started with Belos. because whenever the archivists took the baby titans from collector all those years ago, i dont doubt he tried to get them back since he did that with Luz as well. so he knows, to a degree, that you cant just snap your fingers and have everything be all rainbowy and cheery again.

but then, he met philip. and philip likely explained everything to the collector in order to get what he wanted in a more efficient way. one of those things being grimwalkers! clones.

That's probably when it started. i think after the third or fourth grimwalker, Collector made this connection that mortals are similar to toys you can just break and then "fix." Because it's the same exact person! hey! didn't he just disappear? and now he's back?? good as new? wow!!

and after so many years of this, it's likely ingrained in his mind. he pulls the head off of his doll, and then it's back on. That's his example and his understanding.

He doesn't even see the grimwalkers as people after a while. he calls them "those things" and finds amusement in Belos hurting them and lashing out at them. but at least he has the basic understanding that they're mortals, living beings. and i also think that's why he was so angry with Lilith whenever she called King her nephew. Belos called the grimwalkers his nephews, and then he would hurt them and make them disappear. while, to Collector, he did fix them eventually. It was a cycle. a cycle that he didn't want King to go through because King is the last titan and Collector's "best friend."

and because he couldn't make the other baby titans come back, he probably figured that King was the same way. so he wasn't gonna risk anything with his new friend.

and with mortals, he's shown to be careless and even reckless. in Watching and Dreaming, whenever he's showing Luz, Eda, and King his favorite games, they're all very dangerous. maybe not for him, because he can shift his size and control the games with his power, but to them! to them, its dangerous.

Pacman: he literally "ate" Luz and could have badly injured her.

Marbles: he was huge and flicking them around! that's harmful. especially whenever King ran underneath Collector's foot to make them fall, that could have ended very differently for King. for example, if the "marble" he was in wasn't very strong, the impact of Collector stepping on it could have busted it open and—you probably get where im going with that.

jenga: do i even need to explain why this is dangerous? giant blocks. small mortals.

whenever he figures out that they aren't enjoying his games and they're actually angry with him, because they keep messing them up, he gets upset then gets rid of the games and retreats to go cry alone. its like he didn't even register that these games were hurting them or could even kill them. especially since his intention was to Wow them with these games and be their friend.

i think they're just "naturally scary." because a few times, their expression and tone is almost contradicting their intentions. for such: asking for grudgy buddies, talking about tag in Kings Tide, and the "Let me show you some of my favorite games" line.

its a bit of a complicated situation because he needs to be around mortals to improve and grow, but he also doesn't understand anything about them. bit of a personal take here; i didn't like the ending they had for the collector. he'll either be alone, or with some shitty space gods. at least its implied that he visits every so often or holds some contact with King and possibly the others. anyways-

to close this off because i keep getting distracted, he doesn't truly grasp death or the gravity of ANY of his actions. he knows people die, but he also assumes you just fix them and they come back. (that makes me wonder what he thought about the baby titans "disappearing" at first).

like this scene here: he didn't understand that Luz was dead until later on. whenever he says "she's really gone". he also tells Eda(and King)that he doesn't want anyone else to go missing and that he's sorry for everything. "Missing", not Dead. because he doesn't understand yet.

and he likely still doesn't understand what happened because Luz came back in a completely different form/look, much like how the grimwalkers did. dissappearing but coming back later on with a slightly altered appearance. but i think he has some sort of idea of death still since he couldn't "fix" Luz and was heavily reminding himself of the archivists

[simplygyuu]

Teddy Bear - 28 : its like the rain on a foggy day

*⁀➷synopsis ! : on your birthday one of your best friends, soobin, gifts you an adorable teddy bear. you keep it all day once he gave it to you, carrying the adorable thing around for your entire birthday day and going to sleep with it that night. the next morning you wake up with.. a man in the place of your precious bear?! he doesn't have a name and he looks at you like you hung all the stars and.. did he just say he WAS the bear?

wc (1.5k)

Your heart was racing as you made your way over to Lily's as quickly as you could. As soon as she sent you the address you had rushed to get on a pair of shoes and to call an uber. You didn't enjoy paying to be driven somewhere, but Beomgyu needed you and there was no way in hell you were going to walk.

The entirety of your time in the backseat was filled with silence, you weren't even playing on your phone. What was going through Beomgyus' mind right now? Did he think you hated him? Was Lily able to somewhat comfort him? In the back of your mind there was also the part of you that was scolding yourself for how you judged Lily in the beginning. She was a sweet girl and seemed to care for Beomgyu deeply.

“We've arrived, miss.” The driver's voice cut the silence and jostled you out of your thoughts. Quickly you handed him the money before climbing out of the backseat. Shooting Lily a quick text you approached the front door, not wanting to show up completely unannounced.

For a few moments you just stood in front of the door before you heard the lock slowly click open and saw Lily peek her head out. She looked just like she had in the photo Beomgyu retweeted.

“Oh, finally youre here.” She sighed as she opened the door wider so you could come inside. “Come in, please. He won't come out of the guest bedroom. I dont know what to do he's getting snappy with me.”

Your brows furrowed at the news but nodded along with what she said. Beomgyu was being short-tempered? That was new for him. Youve never even seen him angry before, not even seriously annoyed.

“Thank you for contacting me. I was so worried.” You expressed your gratitude while quickly toeing off your shoes. Lily just smiled at you with a nod before pointing at which door was the guest bedroom.

“Its no problem, I was worried about him.” Lily replied kindly. “Cmon lets go see him…”

Lily led you to a door–the guest bedroom, you assumed–before knocking gently. There was silence for a long stretch of time before Lily sent you a look. Then, she knocked once again.

“Beomgyu?” Lily spoke hesitantly, “...Yn is here to fix things, cant you let us in? Or just her?” Silence stretched out once again and you expected Lily to begin speaking again before finally, Beomgyu piped up from behind the door.

“You invited her here? Seriously?” Beomgyu sounded angry. It was a different kind of thing to hear on him, it didnt seem right. Not to mention a subtle scratch to his voice, had he been crying that badly?

“You know its for the best. You two live together, she wouldve come sooner or later.” Lily pushed.

“I dont care!” Beomgyu exclaimed, voice raised. “Why would you fucking invite her over after what just happened? Do you like seeing me sad? Is that something fun for you?”

Lily then seemed to shrink in on herself a bit, averting her gaze even if Beomgyu wasn't actually looking at her. You heart ached for the both of them. It was obvious Beomgyu didnt know how to handle all these new emotions and it must've transferred into anger. Perhaps some sort of defense mechanism.

“Beomgyu, let me in please. Can we talk about this? You're misunderstanding the whole situation.” You finally spoke up, gesturing for Lily to go ahead and leave to the living room. But the girl just motioned towards the front door before leaving. You didnt know why she was leaving, but she was already out the door.

“What am I misunderstanding, hm? The fact that you dont like me? That I just ruined our entire friendship?” He countered, not even sounding like he made a move towards the door. “God, I've ruined everything…” You then heard him mumble in a much quieter voice, a sniffle soon following after.

“Beomgyu, please. You are misunderstanding. Let me explain, let me in.” You continued to push him, voice staying leveled and calm. He was being hostile with everyone so far, but you couldn't blame him. He was on the defense after getting his feelings hurt so badly.

Silence stretched on once again and honestly you were getting ready to resign yourself to the floor and wait for him to come out. But finally, you heard a faint rustling behind the door before the click of a lock sounded through the silent house. Then, the door creaked open slowly as you looked over to see only half of Beomgyus' face.

His eyes were red and puffy, he had obviously been crying pretty heavily. His cheeks and nose were still tinted red as well, so he must've been crying no more than a few minutes ago. He stared you down with a weak glare before stepping away from the door but not closing it, just resigning himself back to the comfort of the bed.

Quietly you walked into the room, closing the door behind you. For a second you contemplated, looking at where Beomgyu had seated himself on the opposite side of the bed so he could face away from you. His shoulders were hunched, like he was trying to make himself smaller. Your heart clenched, he must feel horrible.

“I know you're upset, rightfully so, but at least hear me out.” You sat down on the bed, facing him but he kept his gaze averted. He didn't make any move to tell you to leave or stop, so you assumed you could continue.

“I like you too, Beomgyu. Shit, I've liked you for a while now,” You finally admitted and watched him tense up, “I'm sorry for not saying something sooner. You must've thought I didn't reciprocate.. I'm sorry. I was shocked. I didn't think you would ever like me, especially since I was under the impression of you and Lily dating.”

“You….you like me too? Are you being serious? This isn't a funny joke, yn..” Beomgyu choked out quietly, turning to finally face you. He looked so hopeful, eyes wide.

“I'm being 100% serious, Gyu. You know I wouldn't make a mean joke like that.” You reached forward to slowly take one of his hands in your hold, giving him time to move away if he wanted to. But instead of moving away, a slight smile spread across his face as he practically attacked you with a hug.

“Oh thank god! I-I was so worried and, and I thought I ruined ev-everything” He suddenly was crying once again, hiccuping between his words as he hugged you tightly. You couldn't help but smile a bit, rubbing his back.

“I was supposed to be the one f-flirting but now I'm crying on you… Junnie hyung is gonna laugh…” Beomgyu then whined, rubbing his head against your shoulder out of embarrassment. You chuckled at his words, snorting a bit before cupping his cheeks with your hands and bringing his head up to look at you.

“Ignore whatever he says, he's just jealous now that you have a girlfriend.” You watched his eyes widen once again before a bright smile spread across his wet face. Even though he was a little snotty and his eyes were red, he was still cute to you.

“Yn.. can I kiss you?” He asked after a few moments of you two just looking at each other. His hands rested on your legs, a small close lipped smile on his face. “Its my first time, but-”

“Shush, Gyu. Just kiss me already.”

Beomgyu smiled before leaning in to connect your lips together. It was a gentle thing, soft and in no rush. His hands trailed up from their place on your leg until one held your waist and the other rested on your cheek. There were no sparks, no fireworks booming over the two of you like in the movies, but it was warm and comforting. It was like the rain on a foggy day, drinking hot chocolate after being in the cold outside, cuddling up under a warm blanket. It was perfect for the two of you. With a small smile into Beomgyus mouth you pulled back a bit, barely an inch away from each other.

“Ahh~” He whined, tugging you gently by your waist. “One more.”

You giggled with him, his face mirroring your smile as you connected each other's lips once again. You melted against each other, an overwhelming sense of comfort filling you. It felt so right, being with him like this. God you had waited for what felt like ages, even if it was only a month, almost two.

“Gyu..” You started, resting your forehead against his, “ As much as I like this, we shouldn't make out in Lily's guest bedroom..” Your words made Beomgyu snort, his almost silent laugh bubbling up as he nodded. You made a fair point.

“Let's go home then. We can finish up our movie night.” He had a smile on his face as he replied, almost glowing with happiness despite the dried tears on his face.

If you two snuck a few more kisses while waiting for the uber then well, who was there to see it anyways? It could be your little secret.

the end :)

--------------------------------------------------------------previous ! masterlist ! bonus !

notes ! : andddd thats a wrap! i genuinely cannot believe teddy bear is over already.. i really really loved making this! and the love and support it got was so so overwhelming and kind and such a good introduction for me to the tumblr community :) thank you all so so so much for taking the time to read this silly story of mine, i love you all <33 on that note, i do plan on writing maybe a bonus or two later!! i'll continue to write here on tumblr let it be requests from you all or little drabbles ive thought up and who knows, maybe ill set up another smau! thank u all again for making this such a good experience :)

taglist ! : @lynnfv @openingssequence @wonioml @lunaavity @sunarintoes @bluebearybeom @invusblog @forever-in-the-sky2 @woncheecks @captivq @i8lhee @tatanbin @rynryn2 @qluvrv @wccycc @f4iryho0n @fancy-whitedwarf @totallynotbella @n0-thisispatrick @aeulia @zaeeeee @jungwon-kitten @sserafimez @lynanist @mazeinthemoon @valentinurz @zoe8stay @thisisnotjacinta @lonewolfjinji @moavill97 @yuhjoeyuh @nagyaons @rikismiel @luvmeatballs4ever @beomgyubeomgyu @beomomb @enhyjin @jwnghyuns @tae-ology @luvdokja @sweetpoetrypersona @squiishymeow @ddenoudepression @moonlight-at-nighttime @asters-abditory @fatoompie @ikaeryn @jayyyynieeee @chuuinggummy @nnniika @iluvvkkh @koeuh @fanfangying1304 @90steele @edenfray @fallenstar11 @reveworld @mywonie

if anyone would like to be added to my permanent taglist, please ask! id love to add more people to it :)

[the-faketiccit0by]

MONTY AND LUNAR AU (Sorry didn't mean to yell) So effectively Lunar isn't made of nano goop Right? He gets hurt, badly, Falling off the catwalk in gator golf. Monty effectively looses their shit, all sense of reasoning goes out the fucking window, So they take parts off of Sun, Moon, Bloody, hell, Even eclipse (who doesn't have the star at this point in time) and Rebuilds Lunar. Suns eye shoved into Lunars damaged socket, Moons leg replacing the mangled mass of plastic and metal, Bloodmoons hands, and A few of Suns rays to cover some particularly bad gashes all along Lunars face. Monty removes every reflective surface they have, covers Lunars 'new' limbs up with gloves and Longer pants as well as a shirt that Lunar couldn't take off and tells Lunar that his new limbs are sensitive so it would be safest to keep the clothes on. Lunar eats it up because why would Monty lie to him? Eventually Lunar meets Foxy who is, rightfully, concerned about Lunars state and asks what happened to his face. Lunar doesn't know what Foxy is talking about and before Foxy can go get a mirror hes dragged off by Monty and sternly told that if he so much as breaths a word about Lunars new... accessories Monty will slowly break him down and use him for parts. Lunar goes back to the daycare to look for his brothers, then Panics when he cant find them, Calls for the Computer who wont answer then runs back to gator golf in hopes that Monty Is also there. Monty assures Lunar that his brothers will turn up soon. Every time Lunar find out about his condition and what exactly happens to his brothers, Monty removes the memory (They don't want Lunars Mind completely gone) effectively resetting this morbid game, Lunar finds out once again, and is quickly told by Foxy to not go running to Monty about it. It then becomes a race against time to figure out where the star is, and how Lunar can fix everything before Monty finds out and resets Lunars memory's again. Eclipse has been humbled enough to help as well (also peeved by Monty's actions) and wouldn't mind a whole redo on the big brother role. Earth is (obviously) still intact and helps kinda knock Monty down, trying to figure out where exactly they are keeping the star and how she can prevent this from happening again. All while keeping Monty out of the loop on whats going on, they daycare's still being running as well and Its much harder when your 3ft tall and you and your sister have little to no experience dealing with the whole daycare by yourself, Sun had split apart the daycare lists and children evenly among the three of them, and now both were trying to juggle their tasks and Suns while the Moon, Sun, and the Bloodmoon twins are MIA.

I'm going to be writing this soon on ao3, after I'm done with my current story I just wanted another persons thoughts on it.

Damn I don't think I've gotten something in my inbox this big... Congrats sir/madam/person you get the crown 👑👑👑

[lazulian-devil]

Thoughts on Book 9, halfway point

Okay so im in Book 9, right? End of Phase 1 of Skulduggery Pleasant.

And I remember, back when I read it as it came out, that I hated how it ended, how everything was so fixed on Darquesse, that I was relieved that she was finally gone from the story (lol) and that I went into Phase 2 weirdly exhausted. Book 9 actually made me abandon SP until something like Book 12 was out?

Now, according to my Kindle, Ive read 94% of Phase 1. Im somewhere around Chapter 56 of Book 9, so Im about halfway through.

And I have to say.

Its such a full book? So much happens? And its so all over the place? Okay we are here now, and now we are here. Brides of the Blood Tears, other dimension, back again, Darquesse, Mirror Image revival, future perspective telling us its all gonna be okay, and and and.

I think Im overwhelmed by this book. Last Stand of Dead Men was utterly enjoyable. But it felt like the book had purpose. Book 9 on the other hand feels like its desperately trying to write itself out of the godhood of problems it created. It wants to do justice to everything Darquesse was built up to be and yet still defeat her.

The problem is that the strategies are simply not very clever and knowing in which direction its going also makes so much of it appear cheap because it wasnt really relevant later?

Darquesse is both built up to be non human and yet appeals to humanity. And I suppose theres a point made there but its... shes just not fun? I think she never was as a villain. Her whole speech about how changing energies is not killing someone and then through like five minutes of group time she remembers "oh fuck, yeah nope that was wrong". Its so weird. Its so jarring. The character feels inconsistent in their own darn book.

Its not that its badly written. Tanith returning is great. Billy Ray is such an utterly human figure in this one and I genuinely feel bad for him (as he evidently truly loved Tanith as a Remnant). Skulduggerys treatment of the "other" Nefarian Serpine shows so much character growth. China is more and more actually an involved character. And a few others I cant remember.

I just.

I dont know. Its a weird feeling because many of the books I have read over the last dozen weeks were also in my head as "not actually that good storywise but well written" and some of that has turned out wrong! I always enjoyed reading them but some stories are much better than I remember.

But I think I arrived at this point in which the story is too large for the books. I care about the characters. About the world. But I dont know if I care about the stakes anymore. I dont know if Darquesse matters to me anymore. What does she even say about humanity? What does she reflect? That we can grow? That we are inherently evil? These are all things better illustrated by other characters.

Is it supposed to be a play on the Phase 2 reveal of Valkyrie being actually a Faceless One? Is Darquesse a shard of said ungodly evil? If so, wouldnt we have benefitted from said reveal in the Phase of its relevancy? Why is it so late?

I think SP sometimes suffers from the Star Wars "Skywalker" symptom of everything being connected at all times.

I dont know. This is weird. I still have 6% and around 50 chapters to go but Im unsure now. I stand before the mirror of literary interest and wonder if there is anything substantial to be seen.

And I know I'll enjoy the book. Its well written. I love Landy.

But having read them all in a row in such close succesion makes me realise how somewhat badly planned they are and how many massive plotholes there often exist.

Maybe the story got too big. I dont if i'll be exhausted. But Im a little worried.

[slut4joel]

Too good for goodbye.

Austin butler x gf!reader

Warnings: crying, arguing, fluff, sad aus & reader, angry austin & reader.

Y’all…brace yourself, I was listening to music and this song started playing and for some reason I felt that I needed to write abt it with Austin. THIS SONG IS SO SAD.

“knock on my door, you’re on my porch, its about 11:30”

11:30, you knock on Austins door with tears brimming your eyes. This wasn’t how this was supposed to end. it wasn’t ever supposed to end. you loved him beyond words can explain, but word gets around, and rumors spread like wildfires when you’re dating a celebrity.

Austin answered the door, he looks as if he had just showered. His hair wet and messy, and his sweats hanging low on his hips. If you weren’t in the state you were in those would not have been on his body much longer but the thought of kissing him made your body tense up.

“That only means one of two things, either you’re a little bit lonely, or something right, and judging by that tear in your eye, you’re about to say something crazy.”

“hey baby” Austin says, his voice laced with exhaustion, but this could not wait another day. “A-Austin” you breathed out, the tears choking you up. “Baby? what’s wrong? are you okay?” he reached out to pull you into him but you stepped back, backing into his front door. “No- no i’m not okay. we’re not okay.” you said, now becoming slightly angry at the news you had found out earlier that day. “what? y/n, what is going on?” Austin was playing dumb you thought. How could he be so ignorant. “You know what’s going on. Don’t okay dumb with me Austin. You seriously don’t think I know about your little affair? Seriously? Olivia. Austin if you wanted her so badly you could’ve been a man and told me. But you were so childish to go and cheat on me!?” Austins jaw dropped in shock. Whatever he was expecting it was not that.

“like goodbye…”

you stopped talking. taking a deep breath and stared back at the infuriated man in front of you. “How dare you y/n. HOW DARE YOU!” Austin had never yelled at you before, of course he had raised his voice in past arguments but this was different. “You come to my home and accuse me of cheating!?” he was furious. But you didn’t care and wanted to add fuel to the flame you had started. “Accuse!? Austin it’s all over the internet! Why’d you do it huh? is she prettier than me!? does she treat you better!?” you paused for a second, contemplating if you should go on or not. “Do- do you love her?” your voice broke as you looked up at him, his eyes softening and tearing up as well. “Oh Y/n” “Austin please just tell me so i can do this without any doubts.” tears were rolling down your face at this point.

“Stop right there, don’t say a word, just let me hold you.”

“Baby no, please no. What the fuck are you even talking about? All over the internet?” You were in complete shock, how does he not know? “yes! all over the internet! why are you doing this?” you couldn’t understand why he was acting so dumb and unknowing of the situation. you pulled out your phone and showed him the picture of him and Olivia at the beach together, he froze. his eyes fixed on the photo in front of him. “Oh God.” it came out as a whisper. He looked up at you with glossy blue eyes. Tears threatening to spill over. “Y/n..please don’t tell me you believe this. yes that’s me, and yes that’s Olivia, but- but baby, I had to go.” “had to go my ass.” you muttered. “God dammit Y/n listen to me! Baz suggested it would be good for us to go, I didn’t want to, at all. Honey, you’re everything to me. And the fact that you believe i would do that to you hurts.”

“Girl we can fix, whatever is so whatever you do, don’t let us die.”

“Austin i cant. I cant stand here and- and, I just can’t be here right now.” you said, turning to open the door before Austin reached out and grabbed your arm pulling you to him. “I can lose everything, but oh God I cant lose you” he said, he had broke. His heart had shattered. You had never seen him so upset over anything. And that’s what hurt you the most. “Austin please” you cried into his shoulder. “Please don’t lie to me” you wanted to believe him so badly but the pictures looked too real. “Y/n. I could never lie to you. you’re everything to me. everything.”

“The love of a lifetime is worth at least a million tries. Baby what we got, is too good for goodbye”

The two of you stood their in each other’s embrace, both sobbing and holding on to one another like your lives depended on it. Austin pulled away cupping your face in his hands, “you have to believe me. I’m not sure what i’d do without you. I cant do this alone. you’re what keeps me sane.” he gently wiped your tears with his thumbs. “Oh Austin, I want to so badly. I-I” the tears were back. “I need time to think.” the words hit him like a truck. His stomach twisted and his eyes stung with tears. “Please no please don’t go” he cried.

“this ain’t a game in trying to play, Girl we’ve got something real here. You don’t just break up whenever it gets tough, so baby don’t you leave here.”

you began to pull away, needing to leave before you changed your mind. You had never seen anyone cry as hard as Austin was crying. He dropped to his knees, sobbing into his hands, and begging you not to go. With shaky hands you grabbed his face and kissed his lips. It was like the world had froze in time. Eventually pulling away, you opened the door and left.

You had just left your entire world in that house. The man you couldn’t live without. And the man you planned to marry someday.

And fuck it hurt.

[eyeless-jack62002]

You know im mentally fucked when im here again

Also to those posting in these tags u can put the squiggle line so ur not jumpscaring ppl and less likely to get reported so fast.

Not me on my 3rd acc. Tho yall really help me stay clean. My partner started back in Novemberish maybe sooner. Right after our 4 y anniversary. And then she just dropped it on me. She knew i was trying to stay clean for her and i was doing such a good job. I only thought about it and would scroll here to "get my fix" its an addiction and i dont think ppl realize that. She brought my favorite drvgs into the house and hid it from me for months. Tho she doesnt even know i have a tumblr. Shes starting therapy now finally. And me too. I have an appt next week. I havent been since i was 12. Im scared. I dont trust therapists. I wish i could just cvt head to toe. All over everywhere. Id be exactly how i wanna be. I want this. But i cant. Gotta be around for my partner. Even tho she didnt want to for me. I told her if she wanted we could together but that we wouldnt be same ever again. I wish shed said yes but thats just jack. He clouds my thoughts with his own. Ik im sick. I wish she never told me. Ive been spiraling for months but i have to shove that down so i can help her get better. I warned her. She knew i was trying ro get better but she still fucking did it behind my back for months!! I almost broke up with her. I wnated so bad to run away and never see her again. But whats the price of choosing to love someone but urself. Id give my entire being up for her and in a way i do. Ive just been so hurt and its all i can think about. I threw away my fucking stash for her!! I regret that somedays. Today especially. We had to drain our fucking saving acc bc of her. She kept skipping work and we kept having less and less financial stability. Still dont but were starting to recover from that but barely. Its like she fucking ignored all of my advice as someone who has been selfh@rming for over a decade. Fuck what i have to say tho. The worst part of it all she cvt the same way and places as my quail as my ruby did. Fucked. She didnt know that tho. And i was finally fucking comfortable with telling her about my self h@arm and she fucking did it anyways. And she told me as if it was her telling what we her having for dinner. I cant even cry anymore over this. Why does this all still bother me. I have no tears left. I admit i screamed a lot. I hit her cvts slapped them. You didnt feel the pain then but u feel it now?? It hurts now? And she said to me "i thought you would have noticed" so snarky. Why the fuck would i think my partner who knows of my history would fucking betraw me like this. And then to be a bitch about it and ask for MY HELP!?!? TEH FUCKING INSANITY. She doing better now tho. Good for her. Ive never been okay. And i dont think i will be. I dont want to get better. Being sick feels too good. And eventually me subbing out cvting for w33d will get old eventually. It always does. Nothing can scratch this itch i have so badly in me. Its like my insides scream to be let out. Its like an energy that flows out with the red. She doesnt understand what cvtting is for me. She said she wanted to die. But knowing you wont die is what keeps me held. I have sold my soul. Im bound. Ruby stopped when we broke up. And i told her i did as well. I know were both liars but thats why ill always have a place in me for ruby. I love my partnerbut if she wants to replace ruby she can be my guest. But replaceing ruby will just make you into a ruby. And no one wants that. I love my partner and im clean for her. Why couldnt she do that for me.

I feel like im in my wattpad days in here. Jacks old diary. But he likes it here better. Anyways if u made it this far enjoy a gif from one of my current special interest show 🖤 -t and jack

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

for blorbo bingo I desire your opinion on gay clown nikolai, liddol guy mika, and/or babygirl genius architect kaveh <3

he was having a girl moment

unfortunately. his silly swag caught up to me and before i knew it i was excited when u started liking him dhdhshaj

ywah

understandable i think. he'd let me maybe

MY SON MY BABY. i can fix him. and by that i mean he can stay in my teapot and i can work out a custody arrangement. or hand him over to kaveh

mikas got like a lot of problems that i think everyone like. overlooks. he doesn't want to be a burden more than anything, and is seemingly terrible at saying no to people. him and noelle are plenty similar in this regard, the only difference being that mika is a member of the knights already. he's not just socially awkward, but cares about the reputations of the superiors he represents. he's not just shy, but is terrified of making himself a burden to others. in almost every voiceline he has he says something like 'i wont drag you down' or 'ill take some weight off your shoulders'. in his wounded voicelines he says he'll be fine or alright. in his gift 3 he says he'll finish eating the disgusting food because you went through the trouble of making it for him. in his about mika V he says he's fine with whatever anyone thinks of him.... AS LONG AS HE'S NOT CAUSING TROUBLE FOR ANYONE. mika is also an incredibly intelligent man! hes the ONLY person who can use the mapmaking gadget he has with ease. why? because, and i quote, "This function can greatly improve the accuracy of a map, but regrettably, everything else — including the statistical information and calculations regarding the terrain in question — has to be computed in the user's mind". Mika is constantly doing mental calculations to use this gadget, and he's the ONLY surveyor who can. Also

his issues regarding wanting to be completely confident in what he says lest they reflect badly on varka and eula are sooo me fr fr

mika my son boy

i cant live normally now that i know abt him. i cant look at him the same. hes not just the nerdy sounding little german boy hes a guy to me

theres so much lost potential in not having him in more stuff. just like heizou mika needs more events. i honestly thought he'd be a focus in weinlesefest because thats where he was introduced but???? they didn't??? it makes me so fucking angry. also i want expanded venti mika friendship

preemptively

:))))))))

HES SO UNDERRATED AND THERES NOT ENOUGH OF HIM GHHH BITING YOU

why does everyone think that he's like. the dumb one. he's literally equally smart as haitham, and is stated to have the closest understanding of true wisdom. in NAHIDAS WORDS. they also dont understand his mommy issues. his father may have died but he lost his mother that day too. and he'll never have her back. hes was doing the emotional labor in that relationship and then she left him!!!! she started a new life in fontaine!!!! her last bit of family, her son, wasn't able to make her happy anymore. was he not enough? do you understand

its less they dropped the ball of kaveh and more they dropped the ball on haitham. which fucks it up for kaveh. if haitham is always right when we see him then we dont see how kaveh reflects and improves him. and if kaveh always loses then of course he seems dumb :/

kaveh 💕💕💕

i can. i can do it watch me

hes literally gorgeous???? stunning???

its less that I hate him and more that im so concerned for him. i fundamentally can't understand why he'd pour his all into the palace of alcazarzaray despite everything else. id kill him for that. which is why hes so fucking well written

you understand

see: point about haitham

stares at you. stares at you. stares at you.

MORE KAVEH NOW. HIS INTERACTIONS ARE SO INTERESTING AND I NEED MORE OF IT ‼️‼️‼️

[jazzafterhours]

the more i think about merrill and sebastian, the more intense i'm feeling about them too, because i feel like sebastian has been abused by the chantry to some extent. i get the sense that a lot of his stances are genuine--he strongly debates whether or not to stay with the chantry and does walk away from it once no matter what, twice if hawke convinces him to retake his position in starkhaven, so i don't feel like he's been entirely twisted up and blinded, at least on the matter of religion and mages, he seems to really believe.

but. i do think the chantry (and his parents) messed up his understanding of morals, and what is good vs bad, and why. sebastian slept around in his youth and wasted money on mind-altering substances, presumably, and his parents considered it disgraceful, so they sent him to the chantry against his will to "straighten him out". (this post will focus on sex, mainly, but i could so go on about his broken moral compass re: mage rights and how he responds to anders at the end of the game, how he instantly flips into a much more harmful portrayal of justice/vengeance than he thinks anders is, imo. anyway)

now, the kinds of things he got up to could be harmful in excess or if not doing it safely, yes, but of course having sex or using substances isn't inherently wrong / immoral, you just need to be careful and understand your boundaries and all that. maybe he did need someone to tell him to slow down, be safer, and evaluate his needs / if these things were really good for him or if he was using them as an escape or something like that, but he didn't need to be told he was a disgrace or that it was wrong to do x and y. classic case of condemning the action instead of treating the root cause of them, which likely is that he felt sidelined as the youngest, "less important" of his siblings, while still feeling the pressure of being royalty. he probably didn't get the kind of nurturing he needed. probably didn't get the opportunity for positive, genuine relationships.

and then in the chantry, he's having that idea of "disgrace" solidified. he's meant to be chaste. he's meant to set aside all personal pleasure. he has to let go of such "base" things to dedicate himself to the maker & andraste. i don't know for sure if all chantry clergy are supposed to be celibate because it's the case for sebastian, while it seems very much not the case in dai (at the very least, a sister has sex with the iron bull lol and i feel like it's mentioned elsewhere but i cant remember off the top of my head). regardless, sebastian has had his sexual desires repressed.

enter merrill, as i've been writing her lately. sex knowledgeable and sex-positive, and so down to casually enjoy others without it being a big deal. sebastian noticing that she's having sex with half their friends at this point, maybe more, and his internalized sex-negativity making him think badly of her. she's "deviant", and "frivolous" like he once was. not only could she give him the fucking he really needs, she could unravel the knots his family and the chantry tied in his mind. she could remind him that sex can be good and fun, and there's nothing wrong with that. sex can be beautiful, and deeply satisfying, and he is not dirty and disgraceful for liking sex.

she could fix him

[perpetually-sad-but-its-fine]

chicago fire 11x08

herrman proving that hes just a grumpy old man is hilarious

kelly and stella just talking about the leadership conference and stella just assuming it’s men drinking scotch and smoking cigars?? 

*chefs kiss*

we love it

oh god

this thing with gallo and carver??

man please

i can't

oh that detective dude

not rlly sure how i feel abt him tho

carver istfg

don't do this

christ, hes doing this isn't he???

dude

cmon

goddammit carver

don't do this

COME ON

sylvie correcting him about the term for fear of clowns is great

oh wow

sylvie and this guy are funny

there are lightbulbs goin off in violet’s head and i cant tell if its bc she wants to set sylvie up w/ this guy or if its smthing else

oh my god its EVAN

oHHH

that was a clean connection

oh she's gonna set them up isn't she???

stella sensing the tension like ‘my mom senses are tingling’

herrman further proving that hes a grumpy old man

oh god now hes talking about gen z

this is gonna be interesting

‘they have no respect for safety, stop signs, or basic common decency’

that's bc most of us just don't care for our lives anymore but go off ig

ritter just being the embodiment of gen z is fantastic

‘you know what i'm saying’

‘i don't actually’

‘doesn't matter!’

heS JUST A GRUMPY FATHER

ITS SO CUTE

kelly and pryma

how's this gonna play out???

severide playing ‘fire cop’ again

why do i feel like pryma’s the dirty cop??

i don't feel too good about this

oooo

here comes violet to set up dylan and sylvie

oh poor violet

i still can't believe evan is gone

i don't like this

stella’s mom senses are tingling again

‘scarecrow’

‘cowardly lion’

‘what?’

mouch’s genuine concern for herrman is hilarious

uh ohhhh

gallo’s in T R O U B L E

i fuckin knew it

her moms senses

they worked

oh god

this thing again

look

gallo

cmon

stella

please just yell at him

GIRL WHY TF ARE YOU STANDING THERE SO SILENTLY

stella and kelly domestic moments

adorable

we love

even tho the convo isn't the most pleasant

pryma is dirty

i can feel it

ooooo

DYLAN’S HERE

oh hes gonna ask her out

awww

im low-key kinda loving this

oh

sylvie 

say yes

please

plEASe

hes cute and hes sweet

but at the same time

i still want matt to come back

violet lurking around the corner is me

sylvie

please call him

herrman

tf are you doing??

that's not gonna fool--

oh shit wait

why do I feel like this isn't gonna end well

i fuckin knew it

mouch and herrman being besites

we love it

oh no

stella and carver

what's gonna happen here

‘that was just a miscommunication’ my ass

stella

put an end to this

‘mutual understanding’ sure

whatever you say

this beef b/w carver and gallo’s gonna interfere with this call, isn’t it?

this guy IMMEDIATELY going to mouch

i don't like him

nope

‘lady lieutenant’ 

bro

dont try to fix it

u already fucked up

gallo’s look when he got the balcony idea made me laugh, idk why

CARVER

FOR FUCKS SAKE

KIDD KNOWS WHAT SHES DOING

gallo’s little smirk

nows not the time man

uh oh Gallo

TW: SUICUDE. DO NOT READ IF YOURE NOT COMFORTABLE. SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU CAN SEE THE NEXT BOLDED PART.

what's gonna happen here??

i don't like it

oh no

this is a suicide

oh no

ohhhhh noooooo

he’s gonna jump

goddammit

noooooo

this isn’t gonna end well

i can feel it

what?

he’s made mistakes?

tf is he talking about

is this somehow linked to pryma?

oh no wait its not

nvm

god this real talk is killin me

is this gonna work??

i hope it does

oh this poor guy

god please don't do this

carver and gallo better work this out

god he’s still gonna jump isn't he

HE JUMPED

OH MY GOD

I FUCKIN KNEW IT

NOOOO

ALL CLEAR. ENJOY THE REST OF MY CRACK REVIEW AND STAY SAFE. I LOVE YOU ALL. *mwah*

oh poor gallo

poor poor gallo

this is hurting me so badly

who is this chief???

can you not see the pain on gallo’s face???

oh violet

youre so sweet

oh goD

WHY DO THE CHICAGO FIRE WRITERS DO THIS

WHY

WHAT FOR

THEY KEEP HURTING ME

violet and sylvie supremacy

mouch and herrman back at it again

pryma again

i don't like this dude

this is gonna be a constant thing, isn't it??

its gonna be there throughout the season, isn't it??

i. do. not. like. this.

oh god Gallo

take care oF YOURSELF

PLEASE

also

where tf has joe been this entire episode???

carver if u don't help

istfg

ill kill you

ritter would be such a good friend

gallo

don't push him out

please

carVER

HELP HIM

gallo

accept the fuckin help

thEY COULD BE GREAT FRIENDS

CMON

the scar has smthing to do with his family doesn't it

gallo don't be mean

good

carver

good

uh oh

what’s gonna happen

LMAOOO

HE RAN THE STOP SIGN

BROOO

*cackling sounds*

THIS IS EVERYTHING

TRUDYYYY

i love the dynamic b/w trudy and herrman

aHHHH

SYLVIE

bro how does she look so beautiful??

i don't understand

she’s so PRETTY

ahhhh

this is so sweet

kidd and severide making dinner

domestic bliss

pryma

kelly’s just done

and stella’s throwing the attitude look at pryma

oh that's not gonna happen

I FUCKIN KNEW IT

NO CHANCE IN HELL

oh fuck off pryma

leave them the fuck alone

oh god

gallo and carver

awww they’re so sweet

bro

i don't think this is gonna end well

oh wait

it might

oh poor gallo

carver and gallo

why am i invested in this dynamic???

carver is being sweet

i love it

are we gonna get a story about his scar yet??

awwwww

stop this is sO SWEET

AND ITS HURTING ME

awww

stop that's adorable

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw: derealization/dissociation, suicide

mostly venting, but also looking for advice

the past few months have been really hard for me. i realized my favorite person was abusive and toxic and lost him and all but one of our friends, then got very suddenly got into a relationship with my remaining friend. while i was in that relationship for two months, my mental health kind of crashed really horribly and i had a lot of episodes of derealization and suicidal thoughts. i guess that was too much for my partner to handle though, because we broke up and she called me toxic for only reaching out to her when i was in crisis. which, idk what to think about that really, because i kinda get where she was coming from but she was also the only person i had.

and now i have no one but my brother, but its different with him because we dont really get vulnerable around each other and im older than him so i feel like i cant break down around him.

ive felt so incredibly lonely. i have no friends and im haunted by the feeling that its all my fault. that i ruined it and lost all my friends because im selfish. i feel so guilty.

along with that, ive been not really feeling like myself and hating who i am. i want to be a different person. i want to start over. i want to start over so badly and not even to just fix what i fucked up i just want to have a completely different life.

and i know its really bad and fucked up but i wish there was more wrong with me. i wish something bad would happen to me. i want a reason to give up and scream and sob. sometimes i even wish my dissociation was worse so at least i could escape or live in my own head or wherever the fuck just so i dont have to live my stupid life.

and i know its even worse but i think most of all i want something wrong with me so people will help me and give me the attention i want. and i know im selfish but i just want someone to be able to take care of me. i dont want to work anymore im already so tired. i just want to do nothing all day i want to lay down i want to sleep.

Hi anon,

I'm really sorry to hear about the difficult time you've been going through. It sounds like you've experienced multiple losses and have been struggling with your mental health, feelings of loneliness, and a desire for a fresh start.

It's understandable that you feel lonely after losing your favorite person and friends. It's important to remember that relationships can be complicated, and sometimes people may not have the capacity to support us in the way we need. It's not necessarily your fault that these relationships didn't work out, and it doesn't make you a bad person. Loneliness can be incredibly challenging, but there are steps you can take to help build new connections and find support.

When it comes to wanting to be a different person or have a different life, it's natural to feel that way during difficult times. However, it's important to remember that personal growth and change can happen without completely starting over. Exploring new interests, setting small achievable goals, and focusing on self-care can all contribute to a sense of renewal and positive change.

It's also important to address the thoughts you mentioned about wishing something bad would happen to you or wanting attention from others. These thoughts can be a sign that you're in need of some additional support and care. If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can help you explore your emotions, process your experiences, and develop healthy coping strategies.

Please know that you're not alone, and there are people who care about your well-being. While it may feel tough right now, with time, support, and self-care, it's possible to find healing, create meaningful connections, and discover new possibilities in life. Remember to take things one step at a time and be gentle with yourself.

I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[running-in-blind]

I'm fucking pissed and will be putting my rant under this here readmore

I'm in Australia for the first time in 4 years for a wedding and decided to meet up with a group of friends from highschool and well... I found out one of my friends is a fucking transphobe n isnt even trying to hide it. So like we were all just talking about things n the topic of one of everyone's mutual friends who now lives in a different city and how he is now a she. Then one of my mates spoke up n said something along the lines of "it's messed up" and "I won't call him that till he chops his balls off". Now I, as a pre-T trans guy, had to bite my tongue and not rip into this guy for saying this shit in front of me of one of our friends cause I didn't wanna make a huge scene about it, so I basically just said "lets agree to disagree." and just continued to hang out with everyone.

Now heres some details to keep in mind about this whole situation to make things worse:

We had discussed and made plans to meet today (sunday) on thursday. I was getting in contact with everyone who agreed to meet up and this guy was radio silent and I, as someone who likes to keep to somewhat of a schedule due to anxiety n shit, was already aware this guy had the biggest distance to travel (beyond me obviously) to meet up at the agreed location and he had stated that he would more than likely be late due to this fact. So after radio silence I decided I should drop buy this guys place as it was on the way and offer to give him a lift like... 15 mins before the agreed meeting time to just simply make things easier.

He was still asleep.

Now my parents were the ones dropping me off at the meeting spot so they could go off n do their thing so now they are waiting while I awkwardly deal with the whole situation and usher this guy along so we wouldn't be too late and not keep my parents along.

His reason for being asleep 15 mins before the agreed meeting time?

His teeth had been hurting really badly and it kept him awake all night. So i was like, aight thats fair n valid cause thats a thing that can happen. Then i notice just how bad his teeth were... he basically had no teeth left at the ripe ol age of 24... now you know me, I aint one to really judge but like... his teeth are far worse than my fathers teeth and thats cause of accidents hes had thats done bad damage to em and he's like... 64 this year so yeah... so of course i'm bein polite n say nothing while he's complaining about his sore mouth n shit, blaming their terrible condition on epilepsy. I dont know enough about that condition to comment on it but I was hitting x to doubt at this point.

I had to rush him outta the house, asked his lil sister to please finish up the chore he decided he HAD to do before going and thanked her profusely for agreeing while i rush him to the car. Now earlier his lil sister commented on the fact that he never brushed his teeth being one of the leading factors to the current state they were in.

Aight great now we're on his way but he had commented on how he was really tired and needed a coffee but he couldn't afford one so I was like "aight, I'll get him one in compensation for rushing him outta the house like I did." And he was absolutely no help while i ordered him one from a coffee shop, i had to basically coax a coffee order outta him which was kinda annoying but it is what it is. Great now he had his coffee n we just needed to wait while the others rock up, the two others were being held up by both one of their fathers n traffic which they informed me about and apologized and i was all chill with that cause you cant fix that shit.

So to pass the time I decided to bring up our friend who couldnt make it, the trans friend, queue his comment about it being messed up, i raise a brow and opt not to talk too much more about said friend cause like now im uncomfortable.

Reason he couldn't afford the coffee?

He didn't have a job. Now i could understand him not having a job cause times are rough, but like he's commented on how he doesnt intend to actually get a job and plans to live on wellfare. Usually i'd just roll my eyes and be like "aight, ok u do u" but like... not only is he an Australian citizen, hes got aboriginal heritage (funny cause hes the whitest bastard amongst us) which gives him access to all sorts of things I really needed before we were basically told fuck you by the government and hes just wasting it all. He has access to things for proper dental care n stuff that makes it much much more affordable.

But now here he is hating on her when she's taking steps to both improve herself and her life in general while he lives a deadbeat lifestyle and lets himself literally rot away.

I refuse to involve myself with him and will only talk to him if he talks to me first out of courtesy as not to cause drama with the friends I want to keep contact with.