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sirensmojo · 3 years

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"KINDRED",3 - Tommy Shelby x Reader.

Summary: Tommy meets a librarian that he discovered to be the chief of an underground organisation. Needing man enough allies to dirty their hands in the battle against Oswald Mosley, he shakes hands with the devil. Feelings intertwine with business, a mix that leads to unalterable ends...

Warnings: Swearing, drugs, romance, drama & cheating.

Word Count: 5K

❰ Previous Chapter

*Shelby Brother Company Limited, Birmingham*

“Michael’s a pain in the ass.”

You and Tommy were seated one in front of the other in Tommy’s office, it was almost midnight.

You both stared at each other after your affirmation, the need to formulate words obsolete, when all of a sudden, a hiccup hit your throat.

“Wow.” Your brows raised, along with your free hand, patting over your chest.

Only the booze could bring them to talk, but they would forget everything the next morning, or that, they pretended so. Everything the other would say was rooted in the other’s heart, as a prize.

“I could maybe try something.” You calmly spoke, as if a flash of thunder lightning struck some idea into you.

You two had dirty hands and were capable of taking care of yourselves, but those past three, you got each other’s back.

Without knowing it, you were keeping a close eye on the business of the other just in case.

If the Peaky Blinder found something wrong concerning your business, he would take care of it, in the shadows of course.

No need to tell you he quite cared when he wasn't sure himself.

It was also working the other way, you had ears at each side of the continent, you what had happened to the Shelby politician without him telling you, and straightened back up every shaky thing.

“ ‘Bout what?” Tommy asked, pouring some more whiskey in the cup resting in your other hand.

‘The two partners trying to get rid of Mosley’ had become an excuse. The silence each brought to the other was addictive, and the days between each meeting only amplified that obsession.

“Speak sense to his wife. Given the situation, I think both the weak and tuff points of Michael’s scheme are her.”

Tommy frowned, thinking deeper about what you told. You weren’t entirely wrong, he doubted Michael would’ve betrayed him without the support of somebody.

“He was pushed to one side, a little push to the other one will make him think right.” Y/L/N got further.

An evening meeting was programmed weekly.

You started meeting at the library during the first week. Then, the Shelby Brother Company Limited’s office, catching the attention of another member of the Shelby family.

“You think it’ll be this easy?” The peaky blinder asked, sprinkling ash onto the ashtray that was on the table that separated you two.

“It’ll have to.” You responded.

Polly was the first one to confront Tommy directly about the presence of a very well dressed woman far too often in the offices.

“Her hair is nice.” She added, smoking on her cig looking intently at Tommy's gleaming eyes at the mention of the so-called “librarian”.

Because that was how he presented Y/N. A girl from an aristocratic family searching for exoticism and bought a library.

He and you were to work together solely due to his status at the House of Commons, none more none less.

But the Gray woman knew better, even if she refused to push the matter further.

“May God keep Arthur away from her, he’ll eat her for his lunch.” Pol’ tease before she shook her head at her own statement as Tommy coughed away this whole discussion.

(...)

Three knocks could be heard on the Gray’s room door in the Midland hotel.

The entrance opens, “Told you I’ll join you in a minute, Gin--” Michael’s voice stopped as soon as his wife abruptly pushed her shoulders to his to enter the room.

“What are you doing?” One of his hands was in his suit pocket, the other one grabbing the door handle.

She hassled to the phone, dialling a number without even glancing at the Gray.

“Gina?” Asked the man, looking intently at the movements of the woman, blinking slowly.

She refused to address him, waiting patiently until the person she was calling responded.

“What is going on? What do you mean our contacts were offered another deal?”

Michael went closer, and as he was sitting on the desk chair, leaning backwards on it, he started to understand what was going on.

“Anyway, we can still offer them to prosper durably, that man can’t say the same, right?”

She rolled her eyes at herself after remaining silent for some minutes, she was listening to the individual at the end of the line.

It was more than clear she was done with everything.

She wasn’t even slightly “happy” to be in the shit hole that was Birmingham as she, herself, qualified multiple times. The only reason she was here was that Michael didn’t want to properly betray his cousin.

He convinced her to come here and resonate with Tommy about a “normal succession”, but she knew damn well it wouldn’t work. Why would he give everything he spent so much time to gather under the pretext of succession?

Tommy wasn’t the type to give up things, for any reason.

And now that they were away from New York, their allies already started to forget about their promises…

Why did she even agree to let Tommy a chance?

“He didn’t fall for Michael’s plan. We will have to do it our way.” She seemed happy at least, to finally be able to handle the matter how she wanted to, which was the only good news about this call.

When the receptionist asked for her at the restaurant, she’d expected to be told all was ready there and that Michael would only have to give the order for the plan to begin. But no.

Gina hung up the phone before she lifted her eyes to her husband that was staring at her, patiently waiting.

“It was my uncle, some man going by the name of Haynes met with all of our contacts, offering them a greater alliance directly with the Chinese, without needing us as intermediaries.” She finally spoke.

The younger Gray looked away, clenching his jaw as a hand came over his face. He let out a long sigh, his body voicing his displeasure. But his wife’s hand came on his shoulder as she leaned on his back, and murmured near his ear:

“But. He says it’s looking like the perfect time to launch plan B, baby.” She grabbed his chin as she turned around to stand in front of him.

“He says it’ll show them we can also ‘bang’ if it’s needed. It’ll be like showing our hand, and in this case, this is the thing to do.”

One of her hands was on Michael’s thigh as the other was still holding his face so he was looking at her. It was a way to say “focus on me” without actually saying it.

As the man was diving into her brown eyes, it seemed she succeeded at keeping him from thinking too much. She gave answers before he could even formulate questions.

By his silence, Gina surmised Michael still wasn’t sure about the plan.

“We did it your way Michael, coming all the way up here to your cousin’s chaotic decisions. Things need to get in order, baby. And it seems like you’re the one that cares enough to do so.” The words left her mouth so lightly as she straightened up and turned her back to her husband.

“We need to go back to America as soon as possible. You promised our child will be born there.” She added, glancing at him above her shoulder.

(...)

Arthur and the boys had convinced Tommy to relax at the Garrison after a long day. Even though it was the last thing he wanted to do, he slammed the doors open to a packed place.

Ahead of them were approximately twenty women, all dolled up as if coming from the Eden club in London. Very short hair with the golden headband with feathers, embroidered pearls on their cotton dresses made it known they were from high society.

Some of them were dancing in the middle of the room, while others were singing on the counter zigzagging between glasses and bottles.

It was the first time Tommy had seen most of those people.

He was actively searching their faces trying to locate the reason for their presence when his eyes confirmed his thought. You were dancing, turning on yourself holding the hand of a taller woman.

You had on a black & red dress going down to your knees with a black and gold headband that flattened your hair, forcing your finger waves to frame your face. Your slow and haunting movements were wrinkling the fabrics, complementing your silhouette.

As you were spinning around, the fringes of your dress were flying in the air as well as your hair, adding to your alluring dance.

Your cheeks, certainly reddened by the alcohol and your half-opened eyes due to you boozing with the huge grin that illuminated your face, made Tommy’s eyes twinkle. As if it was a beautiful night sky full with stars he was looking at.

“Who’s that Tommy?” Arthur questioned entering right after the Shelbys head.

“Get in the room, I’ll bring the bottles.” Tom’s low voice ordered as he motioned to the little room near the counter.

Finn and Isaiah hassled to the room without wasting any more minutes, too appealed by the idea of getting drunk while Arthur leaned to his brother’s ear.

“Look at that butterfly Tommy, isn’t she lovely?” He asked after he caught the reason for Tommy's order.

The latter dismissed the discomfort with a rough cough, turning to his brother.

“What about you fetch the bottles, eh?” He simply put, and that was enough for Arthur to leave it there.

“Whiskey for the peaky boys!” He exclaimed as he patted Tommy’s shoulder. He managed his way behind the counter, after which, he took what he was searching for and disappeared behind the large doors of the little room he closed behind himself.

Tom stayed there, looking at you for some time trying to understand which one of the facades he had seen was the real you.

You were now sitting on your friend's lap, legs crossed, your lips were alternating between a long cigarette holder and a glass of what Tommy surmised to be whiskey knowing the character.

Giving up on searching for an answer, he turned his heels and joined his brothers as if nothing had happened.

(...)

Coming out of the car, you looked both ways before crossing the street and joining the large wooden door, a hand in your suit’s pocket, the other leading a cigarette to your lips.

You pushed in the door and were met by two pairs of eyes. A tall young white man, with a dark-skinned one, wearing berets.

Without second glancing at them, you confidently walked to the stairs at the end of the large room, making this place your own.

Your heels resonated on the cold hard ground, and as they did, each man in the building turned to you, staring in both awe and confusion.

Coming down the stairs, you passed by the three little training rings before you sat down at a little table in front of one of them. It was two men fighting, one who had a luxuriant moustache hiding his upper lips, freckles sprinkling his face.

He was screaming at the other one with a thick Birmingham accent, “Come ‘ere, boy.”

“Hit me! Hit me!” His tone was louder each time.

The poor man ahead of him didn’t dare to punch, which he certainly regretted after he received a strong right fist in the jaw.

Only a couple punches later the loud man succeeded at putting down the other that was wincing in pain.

“Yeaa” The moustache man exclaimed before being interrupted by one of the two boys you saw earlier.

“Arthur! There’s a--” He stopped dead at the sight of you, and you put your cig in between your lips as you got up, beginning to applause.

The sound resonated against the walls as no one was making any noise. You grabbed back the cigarette with your fingers and moved closer.

“Do you fight? I know great opponents,” you paused, feigning to think. “not so sure they will stand even for a round with you.” You clicked your tongue, tilting your head.

They both looked at you up and down for a whole minute before the named Arthur opened his mouth, even if still struggling to properly breathe, he smacked his lips as his hands went flattening his hair.

“Searching for exotism, love?” He grabbed the towel he was handed by a small chubby man with a hat. “Bet you liked what ya see.” Arthur decided to make it normal for a woman to come to sit and watch men fight.

“Indeed.” You let out, a curious gleam in your eyes.

He turned to the man on his side that leaned in his ear, murmuring something.

Arthur let out a deep “Hmm” before he got out of the ring.

He glanced at you and decided to keep up the talk.

“I don’t fight like this, it’s just for---”

“Fun?” You interrupted him, your eyes still fixed on his figure. His stare encountered yours before he put on a shirt. He grabbed the filled cup off the table.

“Curly, Tommy needs you in Charlie’s yard. Finn, you go with them.” He was pointing at the men and to the door up the stairs as if dismissing them.

So the man handed him things was going by “Curly” and the boy, Finn.

“What you doing here? It’s not some place for you.” He buttoned up his pants.

You scoffed at his affirmation, leading him to look up at you.

“I like some good fights, is that forbidden, Mr Shelby?” You came nearer, throwing the rest of your cig in his cup.

You were standing right in front of him, taking the bow tie hanging on the half wall of the ring and slowly led it to his neck. He took a step back, but you stepped forward, blocking him against the ring sides.

“You know Tommy?” Arthur felt the need to say something, the situation being extremely odd to him.

You gently put in place the bow and looked up to Arthur’s face, from his pale skin to his eyes. You stayed there a whole minute, analyzing his soul throughout the blue spring sky of his glassy eyes.

“I’d like to see you fight more. In real rings, Arthur. Why don’t you use the boxing place, it’s not far from here.” You turned your heels, walking back to the chair.

He looked at your figure, his eyes blankly fluttering for a moment. Needless to say, the minute you stared at him was displeasing, he was feeling as if he was robbed of something.

He ignored the warning and grabbed his boots, before he installed himself on the other chair around the little table, wanting to hear more about your offer.

“You fight good, but with some real training you could be something else.” You offered him a cigarette that he refused.

You were testing him from the very moment you put your feet in this cave, from checking how to open his mind was to his relation with poison such as cigarettes.

And now that you know everything you need to know, you could offer something.

“You’re some sort of agent?” He asked, intrigued.

You shook your head “Did you ever imagine women fighting? Just like you did, perhaps slightly better” You questioned, teasing him on the end.

His only response was to look at you in disbelief, and you bet he didn’t even understand what you told him.

“There is a world that exists, right here in Birmingham. Wanna go out and see?” You motioned your head toward the door, inviting him to agree with you.

It wasn’t that hard to convince the elder Shelby brother, he was always open to seeing more of life. Even if that meant to beat the shit outta people, get drunk, fuck the whole city or drowning in drugs.

The thing with Arthur was that he wasn’t careful enough, what told him it wasn’t a trap and that he will not get kidnapped or even killed if he followed you? Nothing. Nothing was ever sure with him, but leaving on the edges was something like his daily prayer, so of course he said yes.

Why in the hell would he say no? Tommy could do without him today.

(...)

Tommy had an unexpected visit from Churchill himself. It seemed like the latter had taken a liking to the head of the Shelbys.

“Do what you have to do, Mr Shelby.” Were Churchill’s words toward the reason for his visit, Mosley.

Indeed, he had thought out a concrete plan. And surprisingly, it was thanks to the books you sent him over the weeks, it was almost worth getting harassed by her over the primar book.

The plan was simple, Mosley will make a speech a week and a half from now, the 6th, in Bingley hall. Taking advantage of an anti-fascist demonstration during the rally, an old war comrade named Barney will shoot, and to be cleared of any suspicion, Thomas will be standing right next to Mosley at the time of his death, making sure he’ll take the head of the fascist union.

Today’s meeting was to explain details of the plan and what needed to be done before the d-day, but Tom didn’t see his brother during the entire day and when he’d asked the boys he was responded that Arthur stayed training some more.

It was hard at times, even for him to understand his older brother.

Not that he wanted to, but normally Arthur would never miss a meeting. The only times he didn’t show up were when he was overwhelmed with dark thoughts, and it wasn’t the right time for something like that to occur.

He decided to come to the pub, hoping to see his brother there, drunk, but not in a random cave trying to end his life.

Tom opened the Garrison’s doors, coughing at the amount of smoke coming in his face. He squinted his eyes, at first searching for a fire, but the more smoke entered his nostrils, the more he recognized the smell of apples and red fruits.

“Arthur, what the hell?” he called.

The place was crowded but Tommy’s eyes were focused on his brother, installed at the table near the windows.

He walked to the table and motioned to the windows. “Open one of these.” He ordered, but his brother didn’t see nor hear him. He was too occupied smoking on what seemed like a pipe with a long tube from where came the smoke.

“Oi!” Tommy yelled.

As everyone around the table turned to him, his eyes met with someone he would’ve never expected to be here.

Y/N was previously actively discussing with some girls when someone shouted into her ear.

You stared at Tommy for what seemed an eternity, he doing the same, both asking themselves what the other was doing here.

“Tommy!” His brother exclaimed, louder than he needed to. But this one was too occupied looking at you to even glance toward his brother, that well noticed the stare between you two.

Arthur managed to get up and pat his brother’s shoulder, welcoming him properly.

That’s when he turned to him, incredulous. His icy blue eyes were piercing his brothers, relentlessly.

“Welcome to the new Birmingham, brother!” Arthur seemed ecstatic. “Did you fucking know there were women fighting too, Tommy?”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Arthur.” His brother shook his head, still looking at him.

“Boxing, he saw women boxing for the first time.” You entered the conversation to Tommy's displeasure. He looked over you blankly.

“What the fuck is this?” He pointed to the thing Arthur was smoking from previously.

“It’s called a hookah. Or a shisha in percian.” You responded even though he decided to ignore you for who knows what reason.

“Come on, brother, it’s the good life, isn’t it?” Arthur asked, seeing the face of Tommy next to him.

He ultimately pointed back to the windows, “Open those.” Was all he said before turning back and leaving the pub.

“Sergent Major!” You authoritatively called, the heavy Garrison’s doors making a thud as they closed behind you.

The stars were twinkling dimly in the bright sky, cleared of any cloud. It added phlegm to the frenzied atmosphere between the two individuals.

He was already walking in the opposite direction but immediately stopped at the mention of his Small Heath Rifles’ rank.

Thomas turned back. “What did you say?”

You decide to ignore him and start walking to him.

Each of your steps snapped with the fortitude of an army. And the fineness with which you balance your weight from one foot to the other could bewilder the fiercest individuals, that, he knew.

Not a single ounce of hesitation nor apprehension in your movements.

But the most unsettling thing Tommy found about you was your facial expression. It wasn’t closed off or concentrated, quite the reverse, the spark settling behind your iris could light up any type of darkness and you were undoubtedly giving slices of life to each person you would smile to.

The addition of your features creating a delicate dimension where it was possible to believe the best things could happen.

At that moment, Tom wished he hadn’t seen you at that library. You were something he couldn’t overfly even if he dared to. But for some reasons he wasn’t able to move on, swayings seizing his entire being, physically as well as mentally.

There was just something about this, him and you.

“What the hell did you think, you that act like the most intelligent of all fucking Birmingham and beyond. My fucking brother doesn’t need none of that!” Tommy wasn’t screaming, but you could hear in his deep tone the anger rooted in his throat.

“He doesn’t need it or you don’t want him to have it, Thomas?” You calmly stated, which made him turn his back at you, passing a hand over his face.

You were pushing him to the edge and that made you laugh, which you didn’t even try to muffle.

He turned back to you, eyebrows raised.

“You wanted this.” He pointed you with his index.

He was accusing you of wittingly driving him crazy and you couldn’t even deny it.

You grabbed his finger with your own hand and pushed it down without releasing it.

“No, I counted on it.” You started, your lips curling into a smile that didn’t escape Tommy’s gaze.

“Life’s a succession of wars, Tom. But soldiers too need to relax.”

No one had ever put a finger on that nerve, but here he was, gazing longingly into your orbs, your words resonating within him.

You wasn’t only talking about Arthur and the fact he needed to be distracted to stay away from dark thoughts. You were also talking about him, that didn’t have to take care of everything as you were there now to handle some of it.

“I promise you I know what I’m doing.”

He leaned backwards, looking at you with an unreadable expression.

Why were you promising things now? The last time you two were that close, it was you that ran away, and now you were the one initiating things to drift from professional to personal.

You sighed and looked down. That’s when you realized both your hands were locked together.

You frowned, remaining silent. You were shocked, but not as much as you should. You weren’t totally stupid, the feelings settling in you were pretty clear once you stopped pushing them aside.

Soon enough he followed your stare, noticing the thing as well.

Both of you released at the same time, looking at everything but the other.

Tommy coughed, fighting the will to be the one saying something in this situation. But he didn’t want you to escape him again this time.

“I’m dealing with Arthur, you don’t have to put your nose in my affairs. It’s not part of the deal.”

You’d preferred he hadn’t spoken. You rolled your eyes at yourself before throwing him the “really?” look.

“You can’t even deal with Michael and you’re telling me you’re dealing with Arthur.” You scoffed, putting a hand on your lips to muffle the sound of your laugh.

His body relaxes at your gigglings.

“Who the fuck do you think you’re foolin’?” You couldn’t hold the laugh back any more.

He didn’t respond, nor act on what you just said. He just stares at you, filled with joy at the simple sight of you being vulnerable.

A smile drew at the corner of your lips when you stopped mocking him.

Your eyes fluttered of wellness, as he was just standing close, doing nothing else than breathing.

Tommy grabbed a cig and put it in between his lips, but you hassled to steal it and lock it between yours.

He glanced at you, raising his brows. He was done with you that was for sure. But not in a bad way. You were playing a game and you won the match.

He came lightening up your cig as watching you take a deep and slow puff on it.

You started to walk, going deeper into the street and he started to do the same.

(...)

Michael and Gina were coming back from the restaurant. It was the first time the husband took his wife out to eat in Birmingham as she, obviously, wasn’t a fan of the city.

They didn’t see the time’s flying and it was already ten when they reached the wide glass doors of the hotel.

As they entered it, they noticed it was almost pinched black inside, the only source of brightness emanating from little orangish lights hanging on the walls behind the counter.

Michael glanced left to right at the place, no one to be seen, or so he thought. It was only when Gina stepped foot in, that he glimpsed figures coming out of the dark spots.

They were moving fast, getting nearer the American woman before his husband could do anything to protect her.

“Gina!” Was all he said before she disappeared outside the front doors of the hotel along with the individuals.

(...)

Tommy stops the engine looking straight ahead.

You were looking outside the window, to your large mansion. You managed to glance at the man before opening the door. You were gauging his reaction, almost testing the water all while maintaining the silence.

As the tension couldn’t get higher, you stepped out. You began to move away from the car when you heard its door open, followed by the clearing of a throat you knew too well.

Tommy’s steps on the gravel came nearer and nearer. When you turned the keys in the lock they were right behind. You opened the heavy wooden entry and got in, letting the door open.

The man entered behind your and turned his back at you, closing the door. When he turned back at the entrance, Y/N had disappeared.

He stepped deeper in the house, and joined the living room, where he glimpsed at your figure, your air resting at your back, your fingers over a note on the table.

Tom got closer to you, grabbing your elbow with the tip of his fingers, looking at the paper you seemed focused on.

Done.

You quickly glanced around, as if making sure you were alone. You then turned to him, raising your palm to his cheek, a gentle touch that he didn’t expect, making his lids slowly fluttering.

You took a step forward, leaned towards him and fondled his nose with the end of your own before leading your fingers to his lips.

You closed your eyes, rooting yourself at this moment and forgetting about the library, high society, Mosley, Michael and everything that stood between you.

He was the one to initiate the kiss, the call for you being louder than any other things at the moment. One of his hands slid to the hollow of your back as the other was grabbed by hers.

Fingers intertwined together, breath mixed, lips pressed against one another, heartbeats speeding and a thousand seconds later, you pulled away, slowly raising your gaze to Tommy’s.

The weight this kiss meant dropped on Tom’s shoulder as he, without hesitation, came to taste again the sweet flavour of your lips. You gasped at the connection, the eagerness of the feeling inside your stomach being fed.

You were breathing loudly in his mouth, your hands now grabbing Tommy’s clothes shamelessly.

They both knew there was no turning back and that things got more complicated than they needed to be, but none of them pulled away nor hesitated for even a slight second.

Following Chapter ❱

#peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby x you #tommy shelby x y/n #peaky blinders fandom #peaky blinders fanfic #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x y/n #thomas shelby x reader

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bangtanblurbs · 3 years

Text

autumn leaves

song: autumn leaves by BTS

first experience: my first listen of autumn leaves was when HYYH pt. 2 released. thanksgiving had just ended -- it was 2015. i was well into my fourth year of undergraduate studies and going through both a rough patch in some respects but also in others -- hitting my stride. i remember my first listen through of HYYH pt. 2 was in my tiny dorm room, perched on my bed, avoiding the responsibility of studying for my final exams. autumn leaves followed skit in the tracklisting, and before skit came baepsae. talk about whiplash... my emotions were all over the place. immediately i was taken by the unique backbeat and the beautiful blend of devastating vocals with emotional raps. for me, autumn leaves was immediately a favorite of mine from the album -- following closely behind butterfly. i can confidently say today though that the song is one of my top ten bangtan songs of all time. something about the sound, the lyrics, and the emotions i can hear in their voices makes it one of the most powerful rap ballads in the bangtan repertoire. i can remember distinctly i came to this revelation around christmas of 2015 as i continued to loop HYYH pt. 2 and really feel each beat and sound within the individual tracks.

at this time i was going through a period of great change in my life - and autumn leaves is the perfect song for change. it’s a song about losing a love but also about feeling as if you are losing a piece of yourself. there are many ways to interpret the song outside of just being another sad love song -- that is something that struck me. the lyrics speak to several facets of what happens when you give pieces of yourself to others, or when you reach crossroads in your life. finding this song at this particular moment in my life was like finding energy and light at a time of extreme darkness. it was healing. soothing.

feelings: i have too many. as always. autumn leaves is special to me because when i listen to it i’m reminded of both the place i was in when the sound found me, but also more recent development in my life that continue to relate to the song. when i first heard autumn leaves, i’d recently ended a relationship i’d been far too invested in despite knowing it was going to be a dead end - for about three years. i felt like i was at a point in my life where i needed to figure out who the hell i was without the one i’d loved. it’s funny though - i was happy to be free of that relationship, to be free of him, the pressures he’d put upon me. what do dead leaves mean if not a new spring right around the corner? perhaps i was feeling lost, but in my mind it was only temporary -- the dead must fall away to bring forward the spring.

that being said, i did mourn. not in the way you might think, but in the way that one mourns for lost time, lost identity. so often we, as women, give up our identities when we are in relationships. we allow others to define us in terms of those that we are in relationships with. i’ve realized this now that i’m older -- now that i’m more at peace with my bisexuality -- the notion that our patriarchal society defines us in terms of the men within our lives rather than our own talents and identities. this particular blog isn’t a space for my feelings on that topic though -- what i will say is that autumn leaves comforted me. perhaps i felt that i was at a point where my leaves were dying -- but does that mean the tree is dead? absolutely not. spring would come. my life would be reborn with a new focus taking over.

this being said -- i’ve always been one of those people that holds onto the past. i always wanted to be solid, non-changing, someone with convictions that they carried along from life. i think this stems from experiencing the death of a close friend while i was very young. i cherished the memories associated with her to the point where i didn’t want to lose the person i was when i knew her. so that’s always complicated change for me -- made the moments where the last leaves fell from the autumn trees that much harder. sure, spring was on its way, but what did that mean? would i lose the memories and the moments when my leaves where at their brilliance the previous season? or would i still carry those with me? what if i needed to correct course and completely rewrite who i was over the past -- would that mean losing who i was when i was loved by those i valued in the past? of course not -- but for some reason the more emotional sides of me didn’t see things in such a fluid way. lost was more profound when i was younger because it was also accompanied with these fears over the loss of my identity.

as i’ve gotten older i’ve realized that identity can have staying power whilst also being something that is fluid. transmuting something doesn’t mean destroying or overwriting it. it means building upon the base and modifying it so that things are more brilliant. the me that existed before and during my long-term relationship was the same me i’d carry into the future, but with many more improvements for my own wellbeing and ability to express myself. for me, autumn leaves is just that. whilst on the surface it may convey the emotions of a breakup -- it also simply conveys the feelings that we get when we progress from one period of life to another. we leave parts of ourselves behind in order to improve. does that mean we are fundamentally changed? absolutely not. it means that we have learned from the past -- that we have made progress. in the same way that trees grow and change over the years. perhaps they look differently (taller, greener in hue? more branches?) but they still provide us with lushness and shade.

personal connection: perhaps i’ve jumped ahead... i’ve already delved into this in the feelings section. that being said... i hope that my story can bring comfort to someone else. or perhaps help you all think about the ways in which bangtan songs can promote healing in your own lives.

since my initial experience with the song i’ve had many other moments where i’ve turned to autumn leaves for comfort. i didn’t just leave it in the past -- it’s come with me as i’ve gotten older and moved into new spaces in my life. particularly i quite literally moved and started a huge new chapter in my life. and on this, autumn leaves has been a song i frequently find myself searching for. there’s a line in the song that resonates with me -- it’s in the bridge: “i hold on to these faded memories / is this greed? / i try to look back on these lost seasons / i try to turn back”

initially i’d been excited for my big move from atlanta to washington dc. i thought it’d be the moment where i finally showed people back home that i wasn’t a failure, that all the pride i’d held in myself and my intellectual accomplishments was valid... but partnered with that came the intensive homesickness, the feeling of being an alien. i wasn’t really welcome here in dc. i still don’t feel welcome, but that’s a story for another day - another song. the reality is though, i moved just as the seasons turned to fall. it felt like my old life was falling away, i was bidding adieu my old life -- the community that had raised me since i was eighteen -- it was all gone. i was scared, terrified my friends wouldn’t keep in touch, afraid i’d have to change who i was to experience success (mask my accent, dye my hair, use the language of the elites)... while it’s not a breakup in the way the autumn leaves reads, i felt like i was having to plead with myself not to let go of who i was just for the sake of being accepted here, or for the sake of making my day to day life easier. the beat of the song brought me comfort as i walked to school, where i received the fake smiles of professors and classmates... i pleaded with myself -- to never let the parts of me that had gotten me to where i was fall away... to always let those dead leaves be the fertilizer for who i was becoming, for the me that would deliver myself closer to my dreams.

even now -- i listen to autumn leaves and think about what i’m going to carry forward as the seasons change and we begin to work our way into a new normal in this pandemic. what parts of me will remain? what relationships will i keep? what *should* fall away, and what will i beg to keep around rather it’s healthy or not? i’m not sure. but closing my eyes and listening to the steady sound of autumn leaves brings me nothing but comfort.

song breakdown

musically: autumn leaves is one of the most iconic songs from the HYYH era. the beat is iconic, the mix of vocal line and rap line from verse to chorus is completely seamless, it’s almost like a ballad rap (so iconic of the HYYH era, with songs like love is not over). the asian style beats, and synth... the sounds of the song are flawless from start to finish. the underlying beat of the song is so smooth, it feels almost like constant crashing waves, the ebb and flow of the beat with a few accents to highlight the emotional pick-ups of the verses.

now -- it was controversial at the time -- many claim that autumn leaves samples beats from deadroses by blackbear. rather that’s true or not, i don’t know. but i find that listening to both songs back to back, they’re speaking to a lot of similar themes but with their own distinct sound and messages. there’s something about the genius of the back beat mixed with the emotionally charged rapping that sets autumn leaves apart -- also the use of vocal line is completely distinct and adds to the emotion in the sound.

vocally: i don’t have as much to say about the vocals in this song. they’re beautiful, with vocal providing honey belts throughout the choruses, which sound more like a repeated bridge. we also see the slower, more emotionally accented rap style from each of rapline. the integration of the vocals and rap are iconically HYYH and BTS. we see the raps pick up, and slow down providing for pre-choruses to build into the beautiful vocal ballad ranges.

autumn leaves performed live -- it’s something incredible. something i’m thankful i was able to experience. bangtan obviously never disappoint, but you can really hear the emotions in their voice with autumn leaves. the perfect adlibs, the changing rap paces, the roughness of rapline’s lower registers... it delivers the sadder themes of the song perfectly.

lyrically: time for a DEEP dive yet again. autumn leaves is about change, the loss of a love. of course meanings can be layered, it can be about change, but on the very surface its a song about loss of love because of changes over time.

jin and jungkook start out the song beautifully. the lyrics lead in directly addressing the theme: “fall like those dry leaves / just falling without strength, my love.” indicating that the song is like a letter - it’s a message to a love. the speaker is comparing their situation to a dead leaf, useless... time has run out... time to leave and fade away... something new to come a replace. falling without strength, it seems as if the speaker is saying they’ve got no more fight in them anymore, they’ve given up and realized continuing the fight is futile. it’s time to just let everything fall away, fade into black. “your heart just goes far away / i can’t catch you / i can’t catch you anymore, anymore / i can’t hold onto you, yeah” as much as the speaker would like to hold onto the moment they are in, hold onto the person they’re with... they can’t anymore. the other person is too far away. time has led to them drifting further apart, their relationship falling away like a dead leaf.

yoongi starts off the first rap, leading in with heavy emotions and continuing the story, and theme of a tree moving into fall. “those fallen leaves that look so insecure / seem like they’re looking at us.” the leaves have already fallen off the tree now, they’re dead on the ground -- peering back up at the speaker and their partner. i interpret this as the leaves are looking back at something they used to be a part of, something familiar to them, just as leaves are a part of our lives, trees spectating our lives as we live. these leaves were a part of their lives -- and now they’re gone, a piece is dead now. “if i touch your hand, even if it’s all at once / it seems like it’ll all become crumbs” -- this line illustrates again the analogy that the leaves are like the speaker’s significant other, someone that might just crumble away like it was never even there before, like a dream, it’s that distant. “i only looked / with the autumn wind” the seasons have changed, it’s that time, it’s been that time, and now the wind is a force that finally pushing the leaf off the tree, finally pushing the relationship or moment of life to end. “your words and expressions that become cold at some point / i can see that our relationship is fading / an empty relationship like the autumn sky” this line directly refers to the relationship like the seasons -- there was a spring, beautiful and blooming, love blossomed. and in summer it burned. but as time went on, the clouds went away and the rain stopped (the autumn sky doesn’t bring the spring showers to nurture the relationship anymore) and the fire consumed everything, burning it out and leaving nothing. “an ambiguous difference compared to before / today of all days, the much quieter night” there’s nothing left -- there no more crackle of the fire burning, no more love. it’s empty, and gone. but nobody knew when it became this way or why, it just did. “one lead left clinging to a branch / it’s shattering, i see the end.” there’s something hanging on -- perhaps it’s just the memory -- perhaps it’s just the part of them that is afraid of change, that wishes they could stay in the warmth. but even so, it’s beginning to crumble, it’s beginning the process to fall away. “dead leaves becoming dried / the silence inside your aloof heart / please don’t leave me / please don’t leave me, crumbling dead leaves” from dead to dried, the emphasis is made that at some point things have moved past ending or that they have been done for quite some time and for them to now also be dried. that being said they’re dried, not gone, the memories exist the emotions have left their place. someday the marks of this relationship will impact and provide the basis for another with someone else -- for better or worse.

then, we reach the bridge-like chorus. it’s simple in lyrics despite emotion packed in tone. “i want the you that meets my eyes / i want the you that wants me again” this line indicates that the partner in this situation has walked away and had decided not to even acknowledge the speaker. to pretend they don’t exist, to remove them from their life -- perhaps to not even keep them as a memory. “please don’t leave me / please don’t fall / never never fall / don’t go far away” the speaker begins to beg, holding onto the last few minutes of whatever they believe is left of the relationship. the begging of “don’t fall” is at odds with the previous verse about a leaf already fallen -- perhaps the chorus is coming from a more desperate state, or a moment before the inevitable happened (the season changed, the leaves fell).

the post chorus brings in jin and continues with the same lament - the same desperate begging. “baby you, girl i can’t let you go / baby you, girl i can’t give up on you” the speaker is determined to hold onto the moment before the final fall. they are unwilling to let it all go -- hanging on to the last moments but also to the memories it seems. “like those falling dry leaves / this love, like dry leaves / never never fall / it’s fading.” at this point the chorus has progressed to where the leaves are fading and falling -- morphing into something that is no longer a leaf anymore. what is the speaker holding onto any more? just as memories too fade -- is there anything even left?

the next verse brings in namjoon, it plays off of the themes and tones in yoongi’s verse. it begins with the leaves already having fallen. there’s no more grasping onto what was, it’s much more about moving on and the ways the memory frames our ability to go forward. “like all the dry leaves fall / like all the things i thought would last forever are leaving / you are my fifth season” the speaker couldn’t imagine this happening -- a fifth season, there is no such thing. the leaves have fallen, despite him never imagining that it would occur, he’s dumbstruck. there’s a level of naivety here -- speaking to the things they thought would last forever -- which harkens back to the entire HYYH era theme. youth. learning growth. namjoon is speaking to new steps in life happening after finding out that what was familiar and comfortable is gone, and will not return as he is stepping into a fifth season and uncharted territory. “even if i try to see you, i can’t look / you’re still green to me / even if the heart doesn’t move, it moves by itself / lingering feelings hung out piece by piece like laundry” namjoon is charging here that he’s placing more emphasis on the past and the memories he holds rather than wanting to confront the reality that the other person has changed. they’re still green - young, fresh, healthy... he can’t help but still be in love because he cannot confront the fact that the other person has in fact changed. and at the same time all of this change and loss has made him raw, he cannot conceal his feelings even when doing mundane day to day things... his emotions hung out for all to see. “only crimson memories fall / from above me / even if my branch doesn’t shake / they constantly fall” the colors have changed from green to crimson, he is forgetting the hard times -- the memories that are rotten. the other memories, even if he keeps trying to hang onto them, they’re also going - being tainted by the dark and unhappy reality of things begin done. “right, my love must fall / in order to rise” he realizes, he need to cut the baggage, cut his false belief that things are still good, so that he can start a new season and try again. embrace his youth once again and heal. “even when you’re near, my two eyes / are far away, it’s happening / i’m being thrown away like this / inside my memories, i become young again” he emphasizes again that he cannot confront the reality of loss of this other person but realizes that it’s completely out of his control - he is the one being thrown. but he knows he can retreat to whatever space he needs to in order to cope or heal, he can hide inside his youth in his mind. he can stay there until he heals and can emerge once again.

the chorus the repeats again, but this time it moves into the beautifully delivered bridge by taehyung. he begins with his low and smooth range “why can’t i give up on you yet / i hold on to these faded memories” which calls directly to namjoon’s verse. the seasons are changing, but he cannot let go of the past. things are fading but they remain his refuge. “is this greed? / i try to look back on these lost seasons / i try to turn back” he begins to realize that there’s an element to these emotions that might be toxic, that he wants but he knows he cannot have what he wants, or that he wants too much. he wishes he could retreat back to the summer, or the spring. turn back time and hide in those brighter moments.

the final verse is beautifully delivered with hoseok’s unique style. he offers an unexpected conclusion to the hopelessness of yoongi’s verse and the denial and dismissal in namjoon’s. “burn them brightly, woosh / it was all beautiful, right, our path / but they’ve all faded” hoseok remembers fondly the memories, reflects positively on the way that things had been going... but he recognizes that that path exists no more -- those leaves are dead and gone. he uses the word “burn” which is often what happens with dead leaves, they’re burning brightly those memories -- like they’re seared into his mind and heart. they’ll never leave his essence. “dry leaves come down like tears / the wind blows and everything grows apart all day” this line beautifully captures the mourning process and the confusion that follows -- the learning to unlearn and untangle your life from another person’s. to move away from something that was so permanent in your life and mind. “the rain is falling and you’re shattering / until the very last leaf, you you you” the weather references in this verse are fitting for the theme of seasons but they also take control away from the speaker - make reference to the fact that even as they speaker would like to, he cannot control his emotions just like he cannot control the situation and relationship coming to an end. the very last leaf -- he tried to hold on, he waited till the end, but finally the hope is gone.

the chorus repeats with some additional lines bracketing it by taehyung. ultimately the song leaves us with a feeling of being unsettled as things came to an ended. time passed by and things changed -- and end was inevitable. memories are what is left to hold onto. seasons change, just like we grow up or change. things in our lives will run their course, especially relationships. we learn from them, and even if we don’t want them to -- they leave scars... no matter how much we plead. but the reality is, we can retreat to whatever place in our mind or memory that we need to in order to repair ourselves to try again.

performance: the main video that is available online for autumn leaves is a performance from HYYH on tour. i cannot pinpoint the location of the filming, but it is the same as it was when i saw BTS live in 2016 in macau for HYYH the epilogue on tour. you can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrM53Y9hHV0&ab_channel=lestwins1524

the performance is very much understated but beautiful. vocals and raps are delivered with more emotion than was captured in the recorded version. members do not perform any choreographed dances, but lights and graphics highlight each member as they come into focus to deliver their portion of the song. it’s beautiful and it’s just what was needed to portray the emotion and depth of the themes in autumn leaves.

in my own personal experience, seeing this song performed live was incredibly profound. the entire arena was silent. all eyes on bangtan and listening for each of the incredibly raw verses to be peformed. the crisp emotion laden in the vocal line choruses. the song is beautiful. it’s somber and mature. it exemplifies the drama of the HYYH era -- with lyrical and performance genius that is unparalleled. i’ve uploaded to this post my horrible video but i hope you enjoy ~~

tl;dr: autumn leaves might seem like another breakup song, but there’s more to it. it beautifully emphasizes the power of memory, time passage, and the desire to hold onto past versions of themselves. which for many listeners is far more profound than just a breakup -- there’s so many times when we need to leave behind moments in our lives, friends, family members... and while we want to hold onto something that is familiar, we can’t. they’re leaving, we are moving on... seasons come and go no matter how much we wish they’d just stay constant. dead leaves fall away, even when we’d wish the summer and spring would stay, they can’t. life is cyclical in nature. which harkens us back to the themes in spring day as well. the sun will always come out, the seasons will change... but we have to confront the fact that sometimes we will experience pain, loss, and change.

#bangtan #bts #lyrics #analysis #army #autumn leaves #bts army #hyyh #most beautiful part of life

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radramblog · 3 years

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Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon is basically OK

Recently, I’ve partaken in some kind of cultural exchange with a friend of mine- namely, I’ve lent her my copies of the Scott Pilgrim novels (god do they kick ass), and she’s lent me her copy of Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon, seeing as I never played it at the time.

Well I’ve now beaten this game, and I have some thoughts about it, so chop chop Keara the story isn’t getting any younger I expect a full book report on my desk next Sunday.

Jokes aside, this was my first experience with a PMD game since Sky (discounting the demo for Gates to Infinity), and having missed the series’s third entry (fourth if you count those Japan-only WiiWare games), it’d be remiss of me not to at least mention that maybe some of the things I’m going to complain about were originally that game’s fault. But apparently that one actively sucks ass so who cares, just shift the blame over, eh?

(ah, primary-school-tier bullying, exactly what I want in my Pokemon game, cool)

I think one of the foremost issues people have about PSMD is the story, and I can’t help but agree. The game spends what feels like forever fucking about in Serene Village, doing what could charitably described as tutorial followed by slice-of-life-ish plots, and while I love me a good slice-of-life anime, those tend to be a lot less slow than this. Also the characters tend to be a lot less one-note, but it’s a kids game, so whatever. Speaking of kids, this to my knowledge is the only PMD game where you and your partner character are canonically children, and spend a lot of time around others. The game seems to establish unevolved Pokemon as kids, which while it doesn’t really add up with the rest of the series (e.g. in the first ones, Caterpie is clearly a child, but Metapod is as well and Gulpin is at least adult enough to run their own store), it would ultimately be excusable if it didn’t make that huge section of the game so boring.

They aren’t consistent with that kids thing, by the way. When you finally reach the Expedition society, you’re met with a bunch of unevolved Pokemon (Archen, Buizel, Bunnelby, Swirlix) that are running around behaving very youthfully, who then turn around and go hey we don’t allow kids in our gang please leave. Like, the plot had been leading me to believe that the whole place was shut down, Ampharos as its final member, and those kids were just running around an abandoned building, but nope, here are your teammates for the rest of the game.

(brown sus)

The remainder of the plot is basically fine, its not like the plots in this series are the greatest on the planet (save maybe Explorers), though the focus on the villains turning people into stone felt pretty awkward. It’s like they wanted to pull off a more dramatic, more personal-stakesy plot but couldn’t actually kill anyone. This gets kind of egregious when you end up in actual hell for a bit, in what I guess is the series tradition of potentially traumatic experiences and blasted hellscapes being exposed to the protagonists. The endgame plot all seems to come at you at once, not helped by it being lots of chained dungeons without returning to towns beforehand- it wouldn’t be as bad if the whole game was like this, but with such a slow start, it just feels so inconsistent. The endgame twist was pretty spicy, I’ll admit, but it didn’t have enough buildup to feel earned in my honest opinion.

(pictured: the best character in the game)

But the plot doesn’t matter so much as the gameplay does it? And as someone who has also concurrently been playing through the first Pokemon Mystery Dungeon game on my GBA, there’s a lot of interesting comparisons to make. The dungeons on the whole are shorter in PSMD, with few of the main-game ones reaching beyond 10 floors (and not going much past it) compared to the prequels’ capping off with a 25+5 floor behemoth in Sky Tower. This is made up for by every floor of the dungeons in PSMD feeling much larger and more labyrinthine than anything in other PMD games, meaning each one takes much longer than you’d think. I dread to imagine what the 99-floor dungeons are like in this game, especially considering you now need an item to quicksave the game if you want to do anything else now. The dungeons themselves additionally really do not feel like they’ve taken advantage of the 9 years of potential design improvements and two console generations of technology improvements between games- it is frustratingly same-old same-old in the dungeon design.

These problems are capped off with the increased difficulty- that is, that every individual Pokemon is significantly more of a threat to you than in previous games, and you don’t really get the opportunity to level grind much. And I’m not opposed to difficulty in games, obviously, but what it does in PSMD is ruin the flow of the gameplay for me. What works in Mystery Dungeons previous was that blend of exploration and combat, and in Super, that gets completely broken up by protracted encounters with even the chump-tier mons you encounter along the way. Also, they made the basic attack complete shit, and I don’t like that.

That’s not to say that the gameplay is all bad. I won’t comment too heavily on the Looplet/Emera system, because I’m kinda mid on it, but it didn’t help that despite all the game’s tutorialising I still didn’t get part of it until most of the way through the story. The game does have some moments of genuine brilliance in design, though. The way you recruit more Pokemon is so much better than the luck-based mission of the previous games, wihle managing to actually make you want to go on the random missions you get thrown throughout the game- for one thing they aren’t random, but it means you have a guaranteed good reward instead of the semi-RNG system where you just end up with a bunch of Gravelerocks and berries you’ll never use. In addition, the system where on non-plot days (and in the postgame) you just get 3 random Pokemon recommended to you, that get bonus EXP if you use them that day, is a great way of encouraging the player to diversify their Pokemon usage substantially, which is nice.

There’s a few other nice gameplay things I’d like to highlight. Considering the increased difficulty, the ability to rescue yourself (read: come back with the overpowered mons the game dropped in your lap) is really nice, especially since it’s not like anyone else is playing these games who can help. The way moves get better the more you use them is nice, especially considering how much more you use one move over and over in this game compared to main series Pokemon games. The random bonus missions and travelling mons you encounter in dungeons are nice, as well as the increased variety in missions available- as well as actually being able to revive fallen escortees, it makes the mission system overall much stronger than in previous entries.

Beyond that, though, I’m not sure what else I have to say about Super Mystery Dungeon. The game is a decent entry in what can barely be called a franchise these days, considering it’s 6 years old and yet still the newest entry, excluding the remake of the first ones that came out last year. It’d be a shame if this was the note we went out on for Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, but to be fair, I don’t think they’re ever going to be able to recapture the magic of the first two games. They struck gold with a lot of people, but I guess at this point, the gleam wore off.

#ramble #video games #pokemon #psmd #pokemon mystery dungeon

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gender-construction · 4 years

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Reflection

Throughout all of the work we have done this semester one concept that stand out to me is gender as a social construction. In my reflection, I have chosen to focus on the theme of social construction, essentialism, and sex and gender, which all seem to interlace into one. Through my Tumblr blog, you will be able to see how I viewed this topic before taking Global Women’s studies course and after. Before taking this course, I was very intrigued by Women’s Studies this is because I grew up in Birmingham Alabama and I am all about smashing the archetype of the Southern belle. At the beginning of this course I found myself really challenging the stereotypes, but I quickly had to accept that there’s some reality there. I had a conversation two weeks into the course with my high school friends and I have to admit some of them really cannot see how the patriarchy has affected their lives. I realized that most of my friends’ goals after college in tale; getting married having kids they think that’s what it is all about: the guy being the say-so, the girl being the whimsical and getting her validation through him. I have to say, I love the South but it’s there. I also realized that the older generation often laments that younger women see “feminist” as a dirty word. Due to these findings, I was started to question how these wants and assumptions got placed in our minds and where do these roots come from this course helped answer my question. I can honestly say this course has changed my point of view of this topic as a whole it has helped me identify a mold that has been imbedded. I feel as if this class should be a requirement for every woman to take. Through the class I learned a lot on this topic of gender as a social construction and how this effects women globally in many ways such as health and health care, employment, political representation, education, and inmate/ public violence. In different counties, there are strict laws against practice dealing with identity.

Through my first Tumblr post you can see how the video that I posted elaborates on how sex and gender often times get treated as synonyms mistakenly but they are NOT the same thing. It’s important to define the terms accurately to avoid confusion. I have found that many research articles, and researchers, refer to gender when they mean sex. Sex is a biological category that is determined by the specific sex chromosomes inherited from one’s parents. In humans, male sex is determined on reproductive organs, chromosome profile, and assigned at birth. While, gender on the other hand is socially, culturally and personally defined. Characteristics and behaviors that are socially and culturally determined for example: girls like pink and boys like blue, girls play with Barbie’s and boys play with hot wheels. Another example, men are normally identified out of the two genders as more athletic. This is when Essentialist views starts to come in. This is the idea that sex determined the gender example ALL women want to be a mother because they have the organs to give birth and because they have that they must be more maternal. Essentialist view that quality as an essential quality of being a female because of biological makeup. They view the beliefs that categories, or individuals and groups of human being, have innate defining features exclusive to their category.

I didn’t quit understand the term ‘essentialist’ until I read the short story “Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid. The mother in this poem is giving her daughter ‘advice’ on how to be a lady to both help and scold her at the same time. She warns her daughter against becoming a “slut”, dispenses much practical and helpful advice that will help her daughter keep a house of her own someday, she tells her daughter how to do such household chores such as, laundry, sewing, ironing, cooking, setting the table. Sweeping and washing. The mother also tells her how to behave un different situations, including to talk with people she doesn’t like. However, the mothers’ advice seems caustic and casting out of fear that her daughter is already well on her way to becoming a ‘slut’. She tells her not to squat while playing marbles or to sing any Antiguan folk sings in Sunday School and to always walk like a lady. From the advice that the mother is giving is coming from a essentialist view she thinks that because that because her daughter is a women she must follow these rules in order to find a husband and run a household. If someone subscribed to gender essentials they believe that there’s a “maleness” or “femaleness” inherent in men and women, whether that’s a spiritual or scientific property. People often use biology to justify essentialism by posting that our chromosomes or hormones or brains make us feminine or masculine (which isn’t true). The mother in “girl” is clearly making claims about gender differences being biological rather than a social construct.

To carry on with, another reading from this course, I was to focus on “Burn Introduction to Global Women’s studies”. The quote, “Men and women live on a stage on which they act out their assigned roles, equal in importance. The play cannot go on with both performers. Neither of them ‘contributes’ more or less to the whole; neither is marginal or dispensable. But the stage set is conceived, painted, and defined by men. Men have written the play, have directed the show... assigned themselves the most interesting heroic parts” - Gerda Lerner. This is the idea that gender inequality is embedded in family, cultural economic, and political, and social structure is sometimes referred to as the patriarchy and social systems that serve males’ dominate over female.

Another reading is the reading “The Treatment if BIBI Halder”, the quote, “They had a point. Bibi had never had never been taught to be a woman; the illness had left her naïve in most practical matters.” When reading this it infuriated me, because a woman should not have to learn how to be a woman but in reality, they do. What I have learned this semester is that woman and men are held to certain standard and these standards are met by being taught to do certain things that their roles are defined by society. One of my Tumblr post is a video on “20 things to avoid becoming a real lady” I posted this because I found it necessary to show the standards that society has for women. I posted another post of Barbie talking bout all the things she wanted to accomplish, I thought it had to be shared because I found it humorous that Barbie the toy that is said to be a huge part in social construction in little girls is seen in these memes as actually saying she wants to do all these things that a a women is not supposed to do.

Lastly, I wanted to talk about my last two post. They discuss the conversation of feminism some people thing the word feminism is an awful thing. I think it goes along with the whole social construction idea that women and men are two separate things and they have different criteria’s. Femniism goes against what social construction is trying to prove. I think it is very important for ll men and women to be feminist. After taking this class I would 100% now identify myself as a feminist. I think that it is very important that people educate themselves on the matter of womens studies. I have learned a lot through this course about literature, sociology, and society.

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prosteticanimals · 5 years

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10 Things Most People Don't Know About fireinsidemusic

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In its place, the students Considerably prefer to master in the stories and experiences of Other individuals. These shared stories and activities assistance them to augment their particular encounter by Understanding in the accomplishment and mistakes of others. This helps them avoid creating a similar blunders as their influencers. As a result, they like to speculate more in their money and time on these applications which help them to establish various methods that they could include into their thoughts and final decision-creating method, therefore building a new skill established.

We are unable to disregard The reality that millennials also are a generation of uncertainties and fluctuations. These are the era who likes to help keep switching their gadgets. They grew up with know-how where by anything was at their fingertips. It will become disheartening for them not to get what they want once they want it. The majority of the items have already been handed to them with a silver spoon. This helps make them truly feel entitled to get what they want with out putting in A lot exertion.

However They can be the major workforce of the businesses currently, they do not believe in lifelong work. Lifelong commitment is a fairy tale for the millennials. They generally soar from on career to another since they are often searching for some thing new and much better. These higher expectations turn out to be their downfall and can make them fewer economically steady than their mom and dad.

Millennials are listed here to remain! They are really young, vibrant and energetic and they're the longer term. They are great belongings which the world will have to harness and use. These are the generation which is revolutionizing the planet. They are the budding leaders of tomorrow. They adopt technological innovation and stimulus in the identical breadth. This era can also be a collaborative and social technology that includes a focus on comprehending and setting up their expertise by means of different kinds of medium to find out the responses. It can be for your educator like us to provide an arena for engagement and discovery along with be considered a information specialist and mentor. It can be for learning platform companies like Nirmiti Academy to give an explorative and experiential expertise and produce out their true probable in everyday life and at work. It is this transformational journey that we at Nirmiti Academy look ahead to every single day to master, unlearn and relearn Using these youthful and magical era - the Millennials!

If the above mentioned title confuses you, you may well be missing out on a few of the very best possibilities the world wide web has to offer. Meanwhile, other people are expanding their Professions, getting ready For brand spanking new life as business owners, or are learning new techniques or increasing their knowledge base, normally at little if any Charge.

How are they executing this?

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These are accessing MOOCs, or Substantial Open Online Programs. Although platforms are actually offered from elite colleges like MIT and Stanford for virtually ten years, open-supply classes proceed to improve in amount and popularity. Now, even some local people colleges like Wake Specialized University,Situated outdoors Raleigh, NC, offers MOOCs to a global viewers. This growing availability suggests There's now an unbelievable variety of courses available to anybody using an internet connection, in spite of area.

Topics MOOCs cover can differ from contemporary robotics and astronomy to Roman architecture and the American Novel Due to the fact 1945. MIT, for example, has courses centered all-around Mathematics, Engineering, Power and Science, in addition to a stunning variety of lessons concentrating on the Humanities and Fantastic Arts. The University of Michigan gives programs ranging from "Storytelling for Social Modify" to Python, info analytics, and device Finding out. You can also just take Management classes from HEC Paris by way of MOOC, rated via the Economist as having the second strongest small business university alumni network on the planet.

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Some MOOCs are intended to be taken for awareness attained, but lots of programs also give you a certification of completion via internet sites like Coursera.org. Certificates of completion--that are unique from class credits--typically cost about $50. Money assist is available for many who qualify.

Factors to Consider a MOOC

There are lots of reasons why a MOOC course could be best for you outside of time management, Despite the fact that most MOOCs allow pupils to work at their own rate, meaning they effortlessly suit into most schedules, Regardless of how busy. Other pros incorporate:

An opportunity to try out A serious just before paying out for faculty classes. Everyone trying to decide over a job path, for The very first time or due to a midlife adjust of path, is aware the aggravation of thinking "Imagine if I'm Incorrect about my choice? The amount money am I going to invest prior to I understand this isn't for me?" MOOCs are a great way to 'dip your toes' in, so to talk, prior to the headache of coping with standard higher education courses and common university prices. You may try out as many courses while you have time for till some thing actually sparks your interest.

Just take classes not available domestically. There are actually pretty much A huge number of MOOC courses obtainable on the web. Even when you reside in Boston (wherever Harvard, MIT, Tufts, Boston Faculty and Boston College are all Found) or Various other comparable College-dense locale, you are able to possibly come across a category or two as a result of MOOC choices not available to you domestically.

Discover (or relearn) a language for free. Not only can you're taking a overseas language program without cost by way of MOOCs, but because of courses taught at foreign universities, You can even train your ear by listening to indigenous speakers. Have a class taught within the language you should find out and comply with alongside employing English subtitles. The 2nd method is a terrific way to effectively double your Discovering, but only works if you already have not less than an intermediate grasp in the language.

If Mastering One more language isn't really large with your to-do checklist, it's possible it ought to be: In 2017, New American Financial state noted employer need for bilingual staff members more than doubled given that 2010. This demand from customers proceeds to grow. Finest languages to check? Spanish, Chinese, and Arabic.

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Create up your resume with wanted competencies. Perhaps there is a far better job at work you know you can do, but your manager doesn't Feel you happen to be capable for it simply because you absence certain abilities. MOOCs are a great way to grow to be proficient in places like HTML coding, Search engine optimization analytics, or no matter what skill you have to come to be the ideal human being for that occupation.

Adhere to the backlinks in this article To find out more on a lot of MOOC classes. MOOCs can also be out there as a result of many different academic platforms, which include Coursera, Udemy, and edX. But MOOCs may be accessed directly via Each individual university, and can be found by making use of the following Google research restricting syntax entered into your google lookup bar:

internet site:edu MOOC subject

By way of example, if I enter web site:edu MOOC robotics, I get about 7,000 final results, like this Introduction to Robotics Specialization from Penn Engineering. By using this syntax, you are able to usually bypass the clearinghouses and find just what exactly You are looking for on university websites, even classes the clearinghouses might not supply.

Pleased MOOCing!

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drrockbell · 6 years

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I’m Back + New Fanfic!

Hello! I am back from my hiatus and I wanted to create something special for all of my friends and EdWin shippers to thank them for their support, especially @kittykatz009, who stuck with me through it all.

I really needed to take some time off of tumblr and clear my mind from problematic events that transpired and I apologize for logging off abruptly for so long. I decided that leaving something I love because of some toxicity of a few individuals I don’t even know is pointless and I will always be better than any lie a stranger makes up because it was entertaining to them.

That said, I am still happy I took some time off, because even if nothing is happening, it is healthy to stay away from social media and just focus on yourself for a while and I encourage everyone to do that for themselves if they ever feel flooded by it.

Now, I would want to say that I consider this to be my first real ‘fanfic’ because even though I have written some work in the past, I actually wrote them for my Creative Writing courses and then I based my characters off of FMA and just changed the names.

I didn’t do this for a grade or anything, it was all on my own, so I am happy to say that this is my first fan-fiction.

I have had this concept in my mind for years now and I have never seen many writers indulge in it that much, so I’m excited to write this.

Once again, thank you all so much for your love and support and I want all of you to know how much I appreciate you all. You couldn’t possibly no how much that means to me

______________________________________________________________

Attraction

Rating: T

Pairings: EdWin

______________________________________________________________

Edward watched as Alphonse pushed his hair around, angling his head in different positions to get a better view of himself in the mirror.

Edward was lying on his bed, arms folded behind his head with an unamused expression on his face. Alphonse was about to set off on a weekend trip with that Xingese Princess and he had spent the last two hours picking out his outfit and fixing his hair, growing more and more irritated when a strand from his bangs kept falling out of place.

“You know she will still glomp all over you no matter how neat your hair looks, right?”

“Hey, I’ve just gotten my hair back and I intend to give it as much care as I can,” Alphonse replied, glancing at Edward with a small smirk on his face.

“Heh, well you’ll start losing it if you keep spraying it with that alcoholic mess,” Edward said, now sitting up, feet flat on the floor with a snarky grin.

Alphonse ignored him, standing up, giving himself one last look in the mirror and walked to the closet to grab his coat.

Edward’s eyes followed him, sighing, “I really don’t see why you’re all decked out. How much did that fancy suit cost you anyway? And that cologne is so stro- are you wearing lip-gloss?!”

Alphonse slapped a hand over his mouth.

“It’s just chapstick! And… I like the little bit of color it gives me, alright?”

“Oh okay,” Edward teased, laying back on the bed. “Just wanna make sure that lip locking with Mei is perfect, right?”

Alphonse’s face grew beet red at that statement.

“W-well, just because you don’t care about your appearance doesn’t mean I don’t have to!” Alphonse exclaimed.

“Hey! I make sure I am clean and well kept! And that’s all anybody needs. Who the Hell cares about your clothes and hair styles? Attractiveness doesn’t even exist. It’s all in peoples’ heads, made up by a society who wanted to profit from others’ own insecurities,” Edward said.

Now it was Alphonse’s turn to tease him. “Oh, don’t tell me you don’t think Winry is pretty. I see the way you look at her.”

Edward nearly fell over at that remark and suddenly shot up. “No! I don’t- I never- just shut up! Don’t you have a train to catch?”

“Come on Ed. You say that physical attractiveness is completely made up, and that’s fair, but you can’t honestly expect me to believe you never think about her. You’re way too obvious about it.” Alphonse replied back, now being serious.

Edward had a huge, childlike frown plastered on his blushing face, but refused to say anything.

Alphonse checked his watched, then walked to his own bed to gather his suitcase.

“Well I should be going now. You two kitties have fun!” And with that Alphonse stepped out the room and Edward could hear each of his steps down the stairs and him walking out the front door, leaving him and Winry alone for the entire weekend.

Edward was still sitting on the bed, unmoving. He couldn’t keep his brother’s words out of his head. He wasn’t lying when he said that physical attractiveness was made up. He had meant that.

He just couldn’t understand why certain nose shapes, hair colors, and body types were preferred. Sure, he had spent his entire life insecure about his height, he thought with a grimace, but that had nothing to do with wanting to look a certain a way; he just wanted to be taken seriously and be as strong as he could be. The same thing applied to his sense of style. He never once expected it to attract anyone to him, he just thought red, black, and skulls were badass and reflected his own personality and temperament.

Watching his brother spend an ungodly amount of time worrying about the curve of his bangs drove him crazy. It was just hair! As long as it was clean and neat, did it really matter how ‘done up’ it was?

Edward got up and walked to the vanity mirror Alphonse had previously sat at and took a seat and for the first time in so long, he just stared at himself, taking in every detail of his face.

He thought about the color of his eyes; some kind of golden and amber combination. Was this feature considered attractive to others? The only people he knew who had this same iris was his late father and younger brother. He had heard time and time again that rare looks were adored by people.

His hair was like his eyes, almost exactly the same hue. He liked his hair long, but never did anything special with it and always chose to keep it out of the way in a braid or ponytail. He reached behind his head to undo the tie and let it fall around his shoulders. It had been a while since he had it cut. He would do it himself, by just gathering all of it in his hand and getting rid of what he didn’t want in one quick cut with his scissors. It was usually a bit… choppy, but he kept it up all the time anyway, so did that really matter?

He had to admit that Winry was far better at cutting it than he was. She’d give him layers and did something called, ‘point cutting,’ he believed it was. At least then, her hair cuts made him comfortable enough to leave it down so no one would see the choppy mess that he’d make.

Edward stared back into the mirror, noticing more and more how much he resembled his father.

His nose was longer and it stuck out a lot more and his chin and jaw was becoming squarer.

Was this appearance considered attractive? Mustang used to go on about male handsomeness and how important it was to appear manly. Edward didn’t know what was worse; hearing those monologues from the Colonel or suffering Major Armstrongs’ poetic nonsense about the same thing.

He shuddered at those memories from Central. Those times were definitely more torturous and frightening than any homunculus he had ever encountered.

No woman was really into the stuff that those two were spouting about, right?

His thoughts went back to Winry and the words his brother had left him with.

Edward had admitted to himself a year after they had returned home that there was no way he saw his mechanic as just a friend. He had suffered many sleepless nights, teasings from his brother, and anxiety every time he brushed past Winry to ignore the creeping realization any longer.

He couldn’t admit it out loud, but he had been screaming in his mind about it for so long, and he knew in just a few weeks, he and Alphonse would set off on two separate adventures once again. It felt like he was running out of time and it was killing him.

He buried his face in his hands and ran them through his hair, frustrated with the world. He knew he needed to say something soon.

Looking back up to see his exhausted expression, he thought about himself and his childhood friend.

Edward knew he didn’t care what anyone thought about his appearance; whether they found him attractive or not. As far as he was concerned, his body was serving each of their respective functions properly and he had a clean bill of health. His scars, missing leg, hair, nose, whatever, was not of anyone’s concern if they ever decided to ‘validate’ his physical attractiveness.

Still… he couldn’t help but think what Winry thought of him in regards to his appearance. Did she care about his eye shape or body type? Did she... like it? The only thing he knew for sure about her, was that she liked men taller than her and he would thank Truth every day that he finally achieved that goal.

His childhood friend was so hard to read at times. She wasn’t afraid to show her concern or love for himself and his brother, but if she ever had any feelings beyond friendship for him, then she was damn good at not showing it. Or maybe he was just too stupid to notice that. Edward chuckled at that thought. He could recite the Periodic Table, name all the solubility rules, and name every compound increasing in acidity, but he would never be able to read any thought that crossed her mind by just looking in her eyes.

Her eyes…

They were blue. Some kind of mixture between the color of the sky and the berries they would pick outside. They contrasted from her sandy blonde hair that would glow when the sun hit every individual strand.

That’s what she reminded him of. Spring and Summer. The bright yellow sun in the blue sky.

He may never know what she thought of his appearance, but God, he had memorized every color, scar, curve, blemish, and callous that made up his mechanic.

The older he got, the more aware he became of her physically.

There was something satisfying about the gentle slope of her nose, the curve of her cheeks, and the length of her eyelashes. The top of her head reached his collarbone, and this fact made him feel much more… protective of her. He had always been overbearing in regards to her safety, but since the Promised Day, he became much more aware of her fragility compared to him. She had muscular arms and strong, calloused hands due to her work, but that would never stop him from treating her like glass. He could never imagine doing anything to mare her smooth, ivory skin.

He took a breath in and closed his eyes as he thought of her more feminine features. Her heavy chest and thick hips and thighs had done more than just keep him up at night, agonizing over her body.

He had never once thought of or gave any second glance to other women when it came to this thing. He wasn’t stupid. He was very much aware of the differences between the male and female anatomy and what he was apparently supposed to be attracted to, but he felt nothing when it came to them.

Even as an eighteen year old man, he still never looked at women, no matter what clothing they wore or what their body type was. The longer this went on, the more he realized that he only ever had any kind of physical attraction to Winry.

It frustrated him a bit, that he didn’t understand this kind of thing as well as his younger brother, because he felt like he could never truly know what Winry would want or what he could do to appeal to her, as stupid as that sounded.

He didn’t know if she saw him as attractive, if she didn’t even care, or if she, to his horror, thought he was ugly.

The only thing he knew for sure, was how much he noticed her, how much he thought of her, and how he knew that there was no possible way that his feelings were only of friendship.

He was truly afraid of what would happen to them once he departed for his trip. It would only be for a few months and then he’d be home for good, but that didn’t stop his paranoia. Edward knew for a fact that if someone like himself had these thoughts for Winry, then there would definitely be men who noticed her too, and probably held much less innocent thoughts.

That thought alone mortified him, because he couldn’t stand the idea of losing the one thing he never even had to someone else, all because he couldn’t express himself the way he wanted to.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard Winry open the basement door and make her way to the kitchen, opening and shutting cabinets.

He looked out the window and was shocked to see the sun setting.

Edward slowly got up from the vanity chair to make his way to the kitchen to help her with dinner where he stopped at the doorway and gave one last look into the mirror to see his solemn expression, before shutting the door.

#edxwin #edwin #edward elric #Winry Rockbell #fma #fmab #fanfic

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sbukimberlycabrera-blog · 6 years

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Introduction To My Page!

Hello, guys welcome to my blog.

Racism can affect us both as individuals and within our institutions and systems. This can cause a huge obstacle in today’s society because it can create disunion amongst people. Racism has always existed, but it was rarely spoken about openly. We must recognize and teach/learn about those who differ from us. By educating and creating a change in the younger generation we have to recognize that racism still exists. As a community, we should focus on helping one another instead of bringing people down based on their skin color/ethnic background. We should be able to talk about our differences and fix the racial problems that plague our society.

Eliminating rational discrimination towards minorities and differential racism towards immigrants is also a step closer to racial healing in the future. Rational discrimination is known as a form of racism in which white people discriminate and justify their fear of minorities, partially of young African American men. I believe that rational discriminate is another form of stereotyping people and placing them into categories based on their skin complexion. The media contributes a huge part of what we think of society and think of others based on. We often see African Americans/Blacks and Latinos portrayed negatively in the media.

We often see blacks and Latinos portrayed as criminals, gang members, and drug dealers. This assumption that we constantly see in the media helps create an image of black and Latino men are often commit crimes and assume that the majority of those who look like in the movies are also criminals. As a Latino or Black person who watches TV shows that show these kinds of roles feel like they are being targeted and are made to believe that they are what they see. This also comes to play in the justice system because it has been proven that police officers are more likely to pull over and frisk blacks and Latinos.

Yes, it’s okay to talk about race, we should talk about race. Colorblindness helps create a society that rejects cultural heritage and invalidate individuals perspective. Colorblindness racism basically denies that there are negative racial experiences that minorities experience. We should be fully open to learning about each other’s experiences.

In my thought papers, you can see how media has affected those who are minorities like myself. I also mention incredible writers such as Bell Hooks and Stuart Hall.

In this blog, you will see how my perspective and outlook on racism. We should be accepting of one another and love each other’s differences. I learned so much in AFS 363 and I hope you can see through my lenses.

Spread love and support!

- Kimberly Cabrera

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rabba002-blog · 6 years

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The Highs and Lows of Social Media

New technology, communications and social media have taken over the newest generations by storm. The “digital age” emerging from the late 1970’s after the invention of the first personal computers have changed the way society will function forever. Now, with the click of a button you have your entire social circle at your fingertips through imessage, social media, and search engines; everyone is connected all the time. Social media has by far had the biggest impact on today's society; especially on the younger generations. Kids are now looking to Twitter and Facebook not only for the hottest trends in fashion and hollywood, but for insights on politics and world views. Through social media, young people are building their ideologies and beliefs about the world, politics, relationships, body image and social standing. Although being connected and having accessibility to such a wide variety of opinions and ideas all the time can be seen as freeing and invigorating, it has had a detrimental effect on the mental health and thinking of the new generation. Social media has its positive attributes, but can also be extremely negative; which has been proven through research and examination of social constructs.

Firstly, the positives of social media should be highlighted. Social media has created a space for the new generation to voice their opinions, make changes and speak on social constructs. It is also used constantly as a creative outlet all while keeping our society connected. Youtube, for example, has blown up immensely since its start in 2005. Creators have built lives out of their Youtube channels and their creative outlets have become their careers. However, Youtube has become a huge space for political activism, issues about bullying and self image; overall a place for people to go and realize they are not alone. Youtube has content for any individual, whether it be gaming videos, cooking channels, comedy, makeup and fashion or lifestyle. The culture of looking into someone’s life and building a connection with them through a screen has become huge in the past ten years; arguably becoming one of the most important platforms created. The most positive impact Youtube has had on our generation is educational. The amount of educational videos on Youtube is astonishing, and not only is it used by students worldwide but professors have turned to educational Youtube videos to teach their students much more increasingly. The freedom social media has given the new generation is highlighted by Croteau and Haynes. They state “the fact that the internet encompasses nearly all forms of communication is a big part of what made it a game-changer…… in addition to blurring boundaries between private and public, the internet enabled people to be more active, more easily, than ever before” (Croteau and Haynes). This freedom is proven by the theory that we are not only consumers of social media but users of it, and that the user has control over what he/she sees and puts out. Twitter, for example is one of the most popular social media sites as of now. It is a place where you have the freedom make raunchy jokes, cry-laugh with your friends about memes, catch up on which Kardashian did what, to rant out that one crappy customer that came into work or to speak out about political issues like “black lives matter” and body shaming. Twitter gives its users the freedom to use their platform as an outlet, and that is something that is very important to our generation. It gives the user the feeling of “what I have to say matters”. These are a few examples of how social media can be seen as having a positive impact on today’s society.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, social media has had massively negative effects on society and the younger generation. Social media, although it can be freeing, also causes mass amounts of pressure on the younger generation. To focus on women in specific, social media can make you feel ashamed of your own body and the attributes you have been given. The rise of the “instagram baddie” persona has taken over social media over the past two years. Girls feel as though they must all have a tiny waist, huge boobs and a huge butt in order to fit into what is considered ideal for today’s beauty standards. Girls are praised and shown off for looking and acting a certain way, and if you do not fit into that box then you’re not considered in. The most prominent example I have noticed on twitter recently is “makeup vs no makeup twitter”. Girls who opt for the more natural look continuously bash girls who prefer to wear a lot of makeup. This creates a toxic environment, as women bash each other when, in this day and age where men reign supreme, should be supporting each other. This toxic environment has shown an increase in suicide rates as the Centers for Disease Control and prevention reports “suicide has become the third leading cause of death for teens and more than 4,600 young people are lost each year” (The Press Enterprise). Not only has social media had a negative impact on teens body image, but on their way of thinking. Our generation has become desensitized to the way they speak to each other, because at the end of the day were all just hiding behind a screen and there are no real consequences to what you say or post. A prime example of this can be shown by the amount of celebrities that go off the handle because of the amount of hate they receive from the public. Most recently, singer Mac Miller died, and Ariana Grande has been continuously receiving backlash for his overdose as people blame her for his drug use and call her an “attention whore” and other vulgar names causing her to take a hiatus for two months. This stigma that our generation has that they can say anything to anyone they want, no matter how hurtful because there are no consequences shows the toxicity social media has had on our generations thinking. Lastly, as highlighted by Baran culture can be limiting, because you grow up surrounded by generally the same characters and beliefs throughout your whole life. Baran states “think back, to the stories you were told and the television shows and movies you watched growing up. The heroines were invariably tall, beautiful and thin. The bad guys were usually mean and fat” (Baran). From the time that we are toddlers are minds are shaped to believe that we must look one way in order to be accepted by society, and if you fail to look that way then you’ll always just feel a little bit out of place. This ties in even more now that social media is so relevant to our day to day lives. Our generation looks up to the superficial standards set by reality tv stars and rappers as an expectation to what our lives should look like, inevitably causing mass disappointment and self-hatred because realistically, we’re not all going to have enough money to get plastic surgery in order to look like our favorite “instagram baddie” or have the money to ride around in a 100,000 car. Social media has created a false sense of expectations for our generation to follow, which leads to a general unhappiness in the reality of our lives and the cards we have been dealt.

In summary, social media has taken over the new generation and shaped their ideas about politics, beauty standards and social standing. It is ridiculous to overlook the positive impact social media has had by giving us the abilities to speak our minds whenever, wherever. But this accessibility has also proven to have a negative impact on the general well being and mental health of the new generation.

Cited Sources:

Whiting, David, and David Whiting. “New Pressures for Perfection Contribute to Rise in Teen Suicide.” Press Enterprise, Press Enterprise, 20 Mar. 2018, www.pe.com/2018/03/17/new-pressures-for-perfection-contribute-to-rise-in-teen-suicide/.

Croteau, David, and William Hoynes. Media/Society: Technology, Industries, Content, and Users. SAGE Publications, Inc., 2019.

Baran, Stanley J. Introduction to Mass Communication: Media Literacy and Culture, Updated Edition. McGraw-Hill Education, 2015.

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dropintomanga · 6 years

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Bullies Can Be Victims Too (Sket Dance - Switch On)

Since it’s time to go back to school for a lot of kids and young adults, I want to focus on a topic that’s still a concern today using a underrated comedy manga worth reading despite it ending a few years ago.

When it comes to anime and manga, you know your character is popular when they have two huge harrowing flashback arcs. The super-popular Usui "Switch" Kazuyoshi from Kenta Shinohara's Sket Dance is an individual with two tragic paths that defined his life. The first involved the death of his younger brother while the 2nd dealt with his seclusion from society. I'm going to discuss the impact of the 2nd flashback arc, "Switch On" (Volumes 27-28, Chapters 241-251), and how it relates to seeing the bullying epidemic from a different point of view.

Switch's path to redemption began when Yusuke "Bossun" Fujisaki and Onizuka "Himeko" Hime were looking for a third member to join their upcoming school club, the Sket Dan. While discussing the search for a new member, both were approached by a student who needed their help in finding someone who has been targeting random students via a forum website. The perpetrator was threatening them via e-mail to fight each other with the loser of the fight being shown all across the Internet. The Sket-Dan relied on Switch, who became a shut-in after the events of the 1st flashback arc, “Switch Off”, to help them find the culprit. They learned that the students being threatened were bullies and the culprit was a victim of one. This person knew about the bullies' past misdeeds and used their actions as blackmail.

At first, the Sket Dan set up a trap to capture the administrator of the anti-bully website. However, they learned that the person they caught was a former admin of the site. The real culprit turned out to be Switch himself as he wanted to administer justice towards those who hurt others. After some violent altercations, Bossun manages to convince Switch to put his talents for good use by "opening" the door for him to going outside and live life once more.

With all the talk about bullying in today's world, things aren't so black and white. The story shows how there is so much grey in-between to complicate things. Bullies can be victims, while victims can be bullies. The bullies that Switch threatened all did terrible things to others. From selling scam tickets to using other students to boost their grades, why would they do such things?

Two key factors emerge when it comes to children becoming bullies - poor social problem-solving skills and poor academic skills. We also can’t forget about the environment of the school itself. There are times where bullying is encouraged because it signifies strength and character. School officials throw a blind eye to bullies because of this.

The student, Kenichi Katagiri, that approached the Sket-Dan in the first place was a former bully himself. His reasoning was that his parents kept pressuring to maintain his grades. At first, Katagiri wanted steal other students’ notes and then his harmful behavior grew as he didn’t face consequences until the emergence of the “punishment” forum website. He said his actions helped to relieve his stress. Katagiri wasn’t able to talk to friends about his problems or reason with his parents over his academic life. And he paid the price for his actions towards his victims. However, Switch and the former admin of the website aren’t arguably any better.

Switch told Bossun that anyone who hurts others deserved to face punishment. His methods were more extreme as he was the person who came up with the “death fight” to ruin the lives of bullies. Switch noticed that the school that he and the Sket Dance cast went to, Kaimei High School, had instances of bullying that left victims in fear. He wanted to fight back in his own way. However, Switch’s actions would come back to haunt him as the former admin and all the victims of Switch’s justice decided to fight back.

Even good people become warped bullies. Something changes once people with honest intentions start to have the power to change things. They start to abuse it for reasons that benefit the self. For bullies and bully-victims (which Switch somewhat is, although he was more of victim of circumstances than bullying), their actions aim to protect the self from any negative emotions they begin to feel. They don’t feel compelled to reach out to others at all.

Bully-victims tend to have a very poor view about themselves. Switch held on to the idea that he deserved to be punished for causing the death of his brother in the past to the point that it created an inner conflict in his mind. Should I fight for justice? Am I right? Am I being ironic? Why haven’t I been punished for my own actions? The natural defense for Switch was to rationalize his actions and be stuck in a cycle of confirmation bias where he believed he was beyond help.

What I and many others can learn from the “Switch On” arc is that friendship matters in stopping bullying. Great friends will do what it takes to help each other, even if it means saying “no” to stop them from doing bad things. Punishment, discipline, etc can help in certain cases, but bullies are human beings that might need help in the worst way. The shaming that punishment does is label bullies in a way that they never feel compelled to become nice people. Why? Because they will naturally feel defensive and resentful. Bossun and Himeko went to great lengths to be friends with Switch. They saved Switch from getting punished by his victims and literally broke into Switch’s room to push him out of his self-guilt, with Bossun ending up taking all the hits from everyone to stop both sides from taking it out on each other.

The whole story’s a good lesson in how to prevent a cycle of bullying. Be careful about spouting justice, righteousness, judgement, punishment, etc. as those words can be triggers that can lead to something worse. It’s words like these that have encouraged a culture of shaming (especially online) where we really have no nuance or context about what happened and the outrage isn’t that much different than a bully’s. Bossun even asks “Is it okay for people to mercilessly attack the ‘bully’ without knowing who he really is?”

Anger will never defeat anger. Love that respects everyone’s boundaries will. I know it’s hard to say this, but bullies deserve that love because as Bossun once told Switch when they talked online, people can change if you give them the chance to. Far too often, not many people give those opportunities to change because anger is encouraged as the way to deal with conflict. Bullying has to be treated as a public health concern. There’s been community initiatives that treat violence in harsh communities as a disease and it’s done wonders for anyone who’s lived through violence as they start to see life beyond all the chaos.

We need to give bullies who want to change the chance to “Switch” on and believe they can be the protagonists that they can be.

#Sket Dance #Switch Usui Kazuyoshi #manga #psychology of bullying #bully-victim

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orbemnews · 4 years

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The Darkest Timeline Two years in the past, an influential paper urged that we have been too late to avoid wasting the world. This paper helped rewrite the route of British universities, performed a significant position in reshaping the missions of local weather organizations and spiritual establishments, had a big affect on British activism and has been translated into not less than 9 languages. It made its writer into one thing of a local weather change messiah. The report’s prediction of an imminent and unavoidable “societal collapse” from local weather change had a putting and rapid impact on lots of its readers. Andrew Medhurst, a longtime banker, cited it as one in all 4 elements that made him he depart his job in finance to change into a radical local weather activist. Pleasure Carter, the pinnacle of a British college, moved instantly to include it into her curriculum. Alison Inexperienced, then a tutorial, printed it out and handed it out at government conferences at her college. Galen Corridor, now a researcher within the local weather and improvement lab at Brown College, mentioned that it led him to query the worth of the local weather activism to which he had been dedicated. Different high-profile papers, like “Trajectories of the Earth System within the Anthropocene,” additionally from 2018, and Timothy Lenton’s overview of tipping factors, printed in Nature the next yr, have galvanized the local weather motion. However this self-published paper, “Deep Adaptation: A Map for Navigating the Local weather Tragedy,” had a unique, extra private, really feel. The paper’s central thought is that we should settle for that nothing can reverse humanity’s destiny and we should adapt accordingly. And the paper’s bleak, vivid particulars — emphasizing that the top is actually nigh, and that it is going to be grotesque — clearly resonated. “Once I say hunger, destruction, migration, illness and struggle, I imply in your individual life,” wrote the writer, Jem Bendell. “With the ability down, quickly you wouldn’t have water popping out of your faucet. You’ll rely in your neighbors for meals and a few heat. You’ll change into malnourished. You received’t know whether or not to remain or go. You’ll worry being violently killed earlier than ravenous to loss of life.” Since publication, a lot of the way in which the science is summarized within the paper has been debunked by climatologists. However even when the mathematics doesn’t add up, does that make the darkish conclusion any much less significant? ☁ Probably the most lively Deep Adaptation discussion board is on Fb, although believers can collect on different platforms, together with LinkedIn. The boards have been established by Mr. Bendell, 48. “I had about 800 unsolicited emails in my inbox,” Mr. Bendell mentioned, recalling the time shortly after publication. “I made a decision I’d launch a discussion board so all these 800 individuals might discuss to one another.” The boards have been established for individuals who felt wide-awake after studying the paper. Psychologists who wished to alter their practices to assist those that had been uprooted by local weather change; retired bankers in New York who wished to introduce Mr. Bendell to their networks; single moms who couldn’t cease crying after they checked out their younger youngsters. Despair was a direct pitfall. As a result of the teams attracted individuals who believed that human extinction was imminent, many talked about suicide. (Discussion board guidelines on Fb bar the “dialogue of suicide strategies”; different guidelines bar dialogue of local weather information, asking individuals to focus as an alternative on adapt.) “It did have an uncomfortable cult form of really feel about it,” mentioned Ms. Inexperienced, now the manager director of Scientists Warning. She left the discussion board as a result of she didn’t really feel certified to counsel somebody contemplating suicide. However despair wasn’t all that certain Deep Adaptation’s extra devoted adherents. David Baum, a 60-year-old Seattle mystic, “latched on to the non secular implications.” “Jem has probably the most huge mental bandwidth I’ve ever encountered,” he mentioned. “He is among the greatest writers alive right now. And he has coped magnificently with surprising movie star based mostly on a really tough position that he’s being requested to play.” Mr. Bendell, who’s a professor of sustainability management on the College of Cumbria in England, mentioned: “My very own conclusion that it’s too late to forestall a breakdown in trendy civilization in most international locations inside our lifetimes shouldn’t be purely based mostly on an evaluation of local weather science.” “It’s based mostly on my view of society, politics, economics from having labored on in all probability 25 international locations throughout 5 continents, labored within the intergovernmental sector of the U.N., been a part of the World Financial Discussion board, working in senior administration in environmental teams, being on boards of funding funds,” he mentioned. “You understand, I’ve been a jack-of-all-trades.” Others took consolation within the certainty of Mr. Bendell’s evaluation. There was little of the unknown related to regular scientific forecasting. Even those that totally disagree perceive that attraction. “It’s actually tough to have a look at these chance distributions and know what to do,” mentioned Kate Marvel, a local weather scientist at Columbia College and the NASA Goddard Institute for Area Research in New York. “I personally simply wish to be instructed, ‘That is what is going to occur. That is what it’s best to do proper now.’” Mr. Bendell mentioned that full apprehension of the extent of the local weather disaster is of course deeply surprising. That, he mentioned, was why the boards wanted to exist, in addition to why he created the retreats he started internet hosting in 2019. For the primary retreat, a “safely held and gently facilitated area” to be held on Mount Pelion in Greece, Mr. Bendell emphasised that the main target could be on the interior lives of the individuals. “The main target is on interior adaptation fairly than insurance policies for lowering the hurt from societal collapse,” he wrote. The retreat price 520 euros to 820 euros, relying on the participant’s alternative of lodging. Mr. Bendell mentioned he didn’t take any cash from it personally as a result of “I don’t want it. And it’ll complicate my tax affairs.” Shu Liang, 42, the pinnacle of a Dutch local weather motion group known as Day of Adaptation, attended. She had a wonderful time, bonding intently with different attendees, with whom she has saved in contact. “It was fairly a rejuvenating expertise” she mentioned. Ms. Liang described the morning workouts. In a single, she mentioned, a mini-shrine was arrange in the course of the room, adorned with objects together with a rock and a bit of driftwood. Individuals have been requested to carry the objects and speak about what they represented. For Ms. Liang, the rock represented the burden of getting to work on local weather change. In one other train, individuals got a set of archetypes — together with the warrior, the chief and the caregiver — and requested to decide on one which they’d prefer to embody in a time of disaster. A 3rd train, designed partially by Mr. Bendell, was known as “Dying to the Consultants.” Individuals wrote down phrases that they related to specialists and threw the papers into a hearth. Mr. Bendell mentioned that this train was supposed to decrease the cultish facets of his personal authority. “We realized that people who find themselves coming all the way in which to a retreat from around the globe that I’m internet hosting are coming due to the truth that I’m doing it,” he mentioned. “And but we wished to emphasise that I’m not the one that can let you know make sense of this.” ☁ Earlier this yr, Emily Atkin, an environmental journalist who had not even heard of Deep Adaptation — not to mention learn it — wrote a few repeating cycle she’d noticed. “The phenomenon is a few dude who is de facto sensible in another method, and has experience in one thing else, maybe stumbles upon local weather change, takes about one month to a yr to consider it — after which decides that unexpectedly they’ve the answer that no one else has considered,” she mentioned, requested to elucidate the sample in an interview. “They usually don’t seek the advice of with a various array of specialists earlier than releasing it. They do reporting that confirms their very own biases. “After which they put out a product that makes use of very robust language, stronger language than the proof that they’ve justifies, to color an image that the rationale we haven’t solved it’s because everybody has been improper. Nobody has considered their nice concept but. And the thought is, truthfully, normally that we’re screwed.” One criticism that emerged of Deep Adaptation extra particularly was that this imprecise forthcoming catastrophe that Mr. Bendell was describing was already taking place to many individuals — simply not but to the Western lecturers, bankers and journalists whose pursuits he had piqued. Justine Huxley, the chief government of St. Ethelburga’s Heart for Reconciliation and Peace in London, mentioned that the paper had strongly influenced the middle’s work, however that some actuality wanted to be taken under consideration. “The very first thing that we did was actually try to weave local weather justice in how we train it,” she mentioned. “As a result of I believe there was an actual hazard within the early days of the Deep Adaptation motion beginning up was that it form of seems like a bunch of privileged white individuals coming to phrases with a actuality that half of the worldwide south is already dwelling in the course of.” One other criticism that emerged was that the central fatalism of Deep Adaptation was based mostly on misunderstood science. In accordance with these critics, if you happen to strip away the misconceptions, there’s room for the hope that Mr. Bendell has forged apart. After his self-publication, the paper attracted criticism by local weather scientists. (The paper was submitted to and rejected by a peer-reviewed sustainability journal. Mr. Bendell has framed the rejection virtually as an commercial of his paper’s provocation and import. He in contrast it to submitting a paper that claims dental well being is pointless to a journal of dentistry.) Gavin Schmidt, a colleague of Dr. Marvel’s on the NASA Goddard Institute, corresponded with Mr. Bendell straight about his issues. Mr. Bendell wrote a weblog publish about that have in February. He ended with: “Not one of the conclusions from the local weather science part of the paper should be retracted.” Dr. Marvel reviewed a few of the science within the paper extra lately and mentioned that it was crammed with errors and misconceptions. As an illustration, Mr. Bendell writes that the lack of the reflective energy of ice within the Arctic is such that even a removing of 1 / 4 of the cumulative carbon dioxide emissions of the final three a long time could be outweighed by the injury already accomplished. Dr. Marvel mentioned that this represents a fundamental misunderstanding. Although ice melting represented a suggestions loop, she mentioned, through which an impact of the local weather changing into hotter itself contributed to additional warming, there was a conflation in Mr. Bendell’s thought between that suggestions loop and a so-called tipping level. “It’s not an instance of a tipping level,” she mentioned. “That is one thing that’s nicely understood. You make it heat. You eliminate ice. You make it chilly. You get ice.” Mr. Bendell offered an inventory of different scientists who supported him. He mentioned climatology was too large a area for Dr. Marvel or Mr. Schmidt to have the ability to assess his claims knowledgeably and beneficial in opposition to “institution figures in climatology” altogether. “You shouldn’t be speaking to Kate Marvel or no matter,” he mentioned. “Simply really go and have a look at the stuff your self.” Because it occurs, somebody did. ☁ Galen Corridor, the 23-year-old Brown College researcher, was learning at Oxford when Deep Adaptation was printed. He had joined Extinction Rise up, a bunch of British local weather activists, and have become associates with a fellow member, Tom Nicholas, a doctoral candidate in computational physics. The paper had a profound impact on each of them, and on their community. A good friend of Mr. Nicholas’s dropped out of college, believing that his research have been futile. Mr. Nicholas had change into acquainted with Deep Adaptation when he began to listen to the paper’s worldview parroted by activists. “I mainly observed undercurrents of issues I believed have been scientifically dodgy being repeated many times inside Extinction Rise up circles,” he mentioned. “After which once I learn Deep Adaptation paper I used to be like, ‘Ah, that’s the place all of that is coming from.’” Mr. Corridor and Mr. Nicholas, 26, got here to consider that Deep Adaptation was improper to show people who the battle was already misplaced. Within the fall of 2019, they determined to write down a rebuttal. “The basic battle in local weather change proper now could be whether or not or not we will perceive it as a primarily political battle — fairly than a scientific or pure battle — after which win that battle,” Mr. Corridor mentioned. “Deep Adaptation or fatalism generally is only one method of depoliticizing it as a result of it places all the things as much as inhuman forces.” In July, with Colleen Schmidt, who’s 24 and has a level in environmental biology from Columbia — and who acted as their de facto editor — they printed a paper. “I’d name it a success piece on the paper and by implication, the framework and the motion,” Mr. Bendell mentioned. “It was fairly upsetting, and I wasn’t certain how greatest to reply.” About two weeks after Mr. Corridor, Mr. Nicholas and Ms. Schmidt printed their paper, Mr. Bendell launched a second model of his Deep Adaptation paper. “This paper seems to have an iconic standing amongst some individuals who criticize others for anticipating societal collapse,” he writes. “Due to this fact, two years on from preliminary publication, I’m releasing this replace.” The stark assertion that had opened the unique paper was altered. As soon as, it had mentioned its function was to supply readers “with a possibility to reassess their work and life within the face of an inevitable close to time period social collapse attributable to local weather change.” Now, to emphasise that the thought stays unproven, it reads “within the face of what I consider to be an inevitable near-term societal collapse.” Mr. Bendell added a sentence stating plainly that the paper doesn’t show that inevitability. Because the summer time of 2020 ended, he introduced on his weblog that he could be stepping again from the Deep Adaptation discussion board, a choice he mentioned he’d been planning for a yr. On this quiet, he’s engaged on a brand new paper. In it, he mentioned, he plans to elucidate precisely how the approaching disaster of our society will play itself out, describing the hunger and mass loss of life that so many anticipate. The three younger individuals who wrote the paper rebutting Deep Adaptation agree that the local weather disaster has already resulted in horrific loss and that it’ll proceed to actual a heavy toll. However in addition they consider that governments around the globe can nonetheless make a distinction and ought to be held to account, as an alternative of being lulled into inaction by despair. “We’ve misplaced some issues,” Ms. Schmidt mentioned. “We might lose all the things. However there is no such thing as a cause to not try to make what can work, work.” “Even if you happen to one way or the other knew that the possibility of success was small,” Mr. Nicholas mentioned, “you’d nonetheless be morally obligated to strive your greatest to restrict the damages and to maintain working.” Supply hyperlink #darkest #Timeline

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theatopaz · 4 years

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The Story of the Young and Ambitious One

8th May 2020

I have been meaning to write this for a long time but I could never find the words for it until today. Here lies the story of how I became part of The Giving Bank Organisation family while I was on my spiritual awakening journey.

As a kid. I always knew I wanted to be somebody with power, honour and respect because I grew up observing others who are more privileged than me. I have always been ambitious. I wanted to be everything and have everything. I wanted what they have and I was willing to work hard for it. As I was different from the very rest of the kids in school while I was growing up starting from my appearances and personality. It was difficult for me to fit in because of bullying and health issues eventually over the years I grew up to become alone and once you find loneliness. It is beautiful and peaceful. It's addicting. I never asked anybody for help nor did I help anybody. I kept to myself and close my eyes and shut myself away from the world. It is difficult to fit in with other people or go back to society. I had a lot of fire in me because of hatred maybe.

Just to save you some time. I was becoming Ebenezer Scrooge from A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. My parents, on the other hand, have a beautiful heart which I had as a kid but changed as a teenager after I started home-schooling at 12/13 years old and eventually did an online degree. As a teenager, I like Business and saw one famous entrepreneur that inspired me to become one. One of the most important things to have as a tool is networking when it comes to business. I moved to Kuala Lumpur in 2015. I started learning more about entrepreneurship. Around 2018, I did build up strong contacts on LinkedIn and Facebook.

During that time, I added two different people on my Facebook. One of them was Dr Janson Ang and the other was the Devil. During that time, I did not know that the Universe put two different Sensei in my path and put many angels and demons along the way last year as tests. One was supposed to change my appearance outside and the other one was supposed to change my appearance inside. Dr Janson just had beautiful baby Harper in 2018 if I am not mistaken because he used to post pictures of her. I, on the other hand, used to focus more towards The Devil because for the first time in my life I came across a male version of me. I never knew somebody else had a similar interest to me when it came to music, literature, talking and etc. One person was starting his family life and the other was progressing in his career. I used to admire the other person because I did not know that I had those toxic traits myself. I used to admire everything he did. I did not know that I was going to become a narcissistic, egoistic, and selfish individual once I have graduated and started working and become a younger version of him.

During early of 2018 itself I have gotten job offers and some without me applying at a large corporation. I had food poisoning that year that eventually affected my health and studies. Out from nowhere in order for me to graduate, I had Community Service Subject. My last semester was already taking a toll on me because I also started working as a screenwriter and got a project from overseas. Of course, I dump that project halfway and concentrate on my last semester. I had no idea how tough it would be because I wanted my last semester to be perfect but I was facing a lot of obstacles in my life.

One of them was Community Service and Scriptwriting subject. I took an extra subject from another course but it was difficult because the e-tutor and face-to-face tutor were different. The worst part, I got the tutor who wrote the module for Community Service and he was teaching for the first time that subject at my university. He was very tough and fierce.

For the first time in my life, I never asked anybody for help with my studies before. I was in a very bad position. 1) I have never ever done any actual charity my whole life nor belong to any NGOs because I did not come across any. 2) I could not find a tv script format because it was hard to come across. Even my face-to-face tutor had no idea what was my assignment because it was very confusing and it was in a different format. I asked The Devil for help not once but three times since he had contacts. He could have gotten the script very easily for me and he was going to attend a charity. He never bothered once he found out that I was a middle-class kid unlike him. I never met such a narcissistic, selfish, egoistic and cunning individual my whole life. During that time, I was already having a lot of pain and pressure because for the first time in my life I wanted all A's which I eventually did get for my last semester because I worked hard for it and I was blessed to have my old good lecturers.

I did not know on the 13th of February. I already made up my mind to scold that person because of my ego and temper. I did not know the next day I would lose the person that I used to put on the pedestal and care for. I considered him as a friend but I don't want to end up becoming him. The whole night I did not sleep because we had a huge fight. On the 14th of February, I lost somebody that day and I love that individual very much. I went to sleep.

In the morning, I turned on my laptop to check my assignments since I was running out of time. Then while on my laptop. I still remember the first post that showed up in the morning was Dr Janson holding Ang Pows to give to the old folk's homes. I was already lost in the morning. I took this as a sign for God. I asked Dr Janson for help and he helped me during my difficult time and showed me the right way to lead my life. For that, I am very grateful until the day I die. Dr Janson gave me his telephone number and I was supposed to go and film my assignment project for my community service on 17th February 2019. He helped me with my assignment.

On the 17th of February came on a Saturday. I and my mother went to Selangor King George at Pudu. Remember, my parents, do charity off and on for those family who doesn't have food or household items with their own savings. I have never been to old folks home before. Truthfully to be told. I would have never even gone to one because I had issues with my grandparents and basically hated old people because of unforgiveness I had over the years. I did not know that day I was on the road trip to forgive everything that has happened in my life and learning to appreciate everything around me.

I was already slightly shy with my new surroundings because I don't go out. Everything was so new to me but I and my mother were very impressed with the arrangements of the Chinese New Year Dinner Yusheng. Everything was planned. There were shows and entertainment for the old folks, there was food, there were gifts and a lot of volunteers. The old folk's dinner had seven or 15 seven different old folks homes who gathered there. At least more than 114 senior citizens. I can't really remember. My memory is not that good. There was a lot of singing, dancing and a magic show. I met Dr Janson beautiful and lovely wife Candice Foong who always made me feel so welcome. Such a down to earth person and so humble. Very caring. Matching couple made in heaven. Plus, I met their parents. I can see where their children learned their good manners and good values because they had good parents.

Now, while I was there. A beautiful angel came up to me mistaken me for a reporter due to my attire thinking she was late for her performance. Winnie K Kok is one of the most humble and caring superstars that I had come across my whole life. She gave me her phone number, email and added me on Facebook. She sang her heart out for the senior citizens and they truly loved her. I can never be Winnie. Nobody can be Winnie. She does everything from her heart. She hugged the senior citizens, she helped them, played games with them. One person lights up the whole room because she brought joy into their life as well as the rest of the TGB members who participated in the event. She did not find them dirty or old. She was not afraid of them. Most of them kissed her and gave her hugs. I really started observing around the room. Looking at the senior citizen's faces and especially the women faces and then to my mother direction. I saw her dancing. It hit me that one day my mother is going to be old like those old ladies in the room without any family to love them if anything happens to me. Later that night, me, my mother, Winnie and her friend went to the living quarters. I told myself I wanted to be more like Winnie. Beautiful outside and the inside.

First time in my life I had empathy for another human being. There was one sad case of a woman who ended up there when she lost her two sons and husband to a car accident. My mum cried. Winnie cried. I told myself I would never want to see my mother in that kind of place. For the first time in my life, I actually thought about another human being. I forget that my mother was becoming old and it was a wake-up call for me to play the duty of a daughter to my mother by becoming more responsible. Winnie, Dr Janson and her friend helped me with my assignment. Thank you for that.

There were other sad cases there. Sometimes people don't want money. They just want someone to love them. To show love and care. The only good deed I did that day which I have never done in my whole life. I saw one of the younger seniors dropped his phone in the drain. I actually picked it up and gave back to him. He thanked me many times for it. The old me would not touch the phone because of my OCD. Then somebody else dropped something and I picked it up. I asked myself that night. Was I becoming arrogant if I became successful like the Devil? I did not know that the Universe intended to break me completely to build a new version of Sophia. I told myself I wanted to be like the angels I had come across that day.

Next month, I went for my first TGB Youth event at Pusat Jagaan Siddharthan at Petaling Jaya on the 10th March 2019. I always blame this two for making me soft and comfortable. In my whole life. I don't like to be hugged or to give hugs to anyone no one really hugs in my family. So I am not used to the hugging culture. Ashley and Margret gave me so much of hugs, showed me so much of love and guided me. I eventually started picking up their good habits. I think I became too good for my own good until it landed me into trouble. These two are truly angels. The Universe took the time to design two intelligent and beautiful young ladies to come into my life. I love my two younger sisters very much. Very matured unlike me who is still immature. I never mixed with anybody younger before me. It’s always been with people older to me. There were two friendly young boys who called me sister. They melted my heart. I told myself I wished I was rich enough to adopt them.

The month of April came. The Giving Bank has already taught me some good values that I was picking up. That month was my final papers and exams were ongoing. I still remember it was 20th April 2019 in Mooncake Palace at Kuchai Lama. I met two more angels by the name of Melissa and Arnaud. Melissa and I went through the same experience with our health. We don’t appreciate what we have until we nearly lost it. She gave me Rich daddy, poor daddy by Robert Kiyosaki and Sharon Lechter which is very inspiring. Thank you for that book. Arnaud gave very insightful knowledge and shared his experience with his life and worked with the TGB Youth members. He always got something inspiring to say and beneficial. End of the night, Dr Janson gave a speech and he spoke about Chinese philosophy. What goes around comes back around in a circle. What we give into the universe will be presented by another person. I always thought about karma differently because someone else taught me differently online 10 years ago. They said in Buddhism. What bad deeds committed last life have presented this life but I did not know we can help those to ease their karma. That night was very nice. I had good food and I made a lot of new friends. That month. I completely learned to forgive others and let go.

I can’t really remember what happened in May because I was trying to register at UM before the closing date. I think we visited Rumah Charis. In June, Dr Janson took us to Flipnopreneurs. @ Flipnopreneurs Summit. I think on the 20th of June. If I am not mistaken it was a Thursday at Evolve Concept Mall Ara Damansara. It’s the first time I have been to that area. They had a lot of motivational speakers and one of my favourites was Yusmadi Yusoff, Dr Alex Ong and Veronica Tang. When Yusmadi Yusoff was talking about Sabar. Sabar. I am a very impatient person. I took it as a sign from the universe to be patient. I did not know I really had to be patient because last year I was supposed to be learning something useful for my own good, growth and development but I did not know I was entering a quarter-life crisis. I met wonderful people who threw such a great event and other people. I started attending other youth events.

July came. I always wanted to attend a Gala dinner after seeing it in Tatler Magazines. On the 13th of July 2019. I attended my first gala dinner at Berjaya Times Square Hotel and met so many new people from TGB. I had great food that night. I saw some wonderful entertainment and I also learnt my lesson not to wear high heels. Candice wore the best dress. I had a wonderful and memorable night. My favorite was Elton John although I did not get a chance to meet him. I was very happy to meet Winnie again that night. I can’t remember which day. Dr Janson gave a thank-you lunch. The same month, I think. This is the first time I went to a sky view restaurant. Chakri Palace Skyview at Sri Hartamas to get an appreciation lunch and certificate for helping out in the gala dinner. The socializing was good. I got to spend more time with Sangeetha, Zubaida and Margret when we went to Publika. I saw my first art exhibition. Bought some rings and cake. I had a great day.

Now August came. I was already very nervous starting my Masters at University Malaya and graduating next month in September. In my whole life, I always dream of seeing a Westlife concert. I can’t believe my luck again. When I on my Whatsapp. Dr Janson was graciously offering two tickets for us to go to the Westlife concert. I could not get my brother on the phone. He waited until I reach home to confirm. This is actually the first concert that I had been to a stadium. I went to an Italian one at E&O Hotel in Penang Years ago for a Georgetown festival. I had the best time in my whole life and my brother enjoyed it too. It was unbelievable and it was magical. My dream came true and I had the best seats in the world. Thank you, Thank you so much, Dr Janson and Candice when I came to Bukit Jalil to take the tickets from you. You don’t know how much you help me when I saw sad. These little things made me happy when I was getting over something.

September came. I was becoming an angel because these angels were making me into one but angels often attract demons. I really enjoyed helping others because it made me feel good and I knew my classmates were working and have huge responsibilities. I never knew I had such a beautiful heart which The Giving Bank made me discovered it. Some people take integrity, respect, kindness, niceness and peace as a sign of weakness. I don’t know why during my first semester. I started maturing because of The Giving Bank, Human Rights and Sociology of Crime and Criminal Behavior. I was changing to a whole different human being. I was observing the whole month of September each of my classmates and their behaviors. I am a firm believer in keeping your friends close and keeping your enemy closer. I managed to win overall my classmates but one person already picked me as a victim from day one with her nonsense I tolerated her but without her. I forgot I was losing my own identity. I did not know I had to set boundaries and stand up for myself.

People don’t like others who are perfect inside or outside because they are imperfect. I took the effort to change myself knowing what was my bad habits after analyzing it. Instead of growing up like adults and changing themselves. They decided to stay like idiots. Successful people constantly adapt and change themselves. Successful people lead by example. They want others to win with them not to go first. Everybody has a different journey. That’s called leadership. I felt so scared of seeing some of these people in the law. I told myself this environment is too toxic for me. This is not my people or my environment. Whatever happened. I remembered who I was as a kid and a teenager. I hate law and I love the arts. I love writing.

This year I found my voice again and I really do enjoy helping others. Sometimes people need us more than we need them. Not to mention because of TGB. I earned good karma points and I learned more about myself what I like and dislike about people. It was a good experience. Around November or October, I was informed about my award. This was the first award that I had received my whole life. Until the day I die. I don’t believe. My first award was a humanitarian award. Not in a million years, I would dream that I will be getting one. I was already affected by my health because of the toxicity of people and my surroundings.

I was confused about what I wanted in life. If I am not mistaken 11th December 2019 at Berjaya Times Square Hotel. TGB had a Christmas dinner on a Wednesday. I remember because Wednesday was my favorite class, a smaller classroom and my favorite lecturer. I went there to study because I had an exam on the 14th of December and so many assignments due and presentation. I was so confused because I was no longer interested in my masters because I was adopting some bad habits. I was very depressed and ate a lot of good food that day. I never had a temper or felt angry my whole adult life and these people were provoking me to become bad but I chose the high road. Moral principles and integrity are more important that justifying to anyone or heating up the fire higher. After receiving my award. I asked to myself, God please show me the RIGHT WAY as I was coming out. Why are you doing this to me? A short while, a man came up and complimented me while I was carrying my award outside. Dr Janson and the man gave me a message indirectly. My mum used to tell me this as a kid as the man said to me from Proverbs 3. Verses 5-6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. I decided I wanted to give up everything and leave it to the Universe.

As I was returning home. I told myself. I want to change myself and don’t go to the wrong path. On the 21st was the first TGB Youth Community gathering on a Saturday. I was honestly very scared to go because I wanted to be miserable at home because I felt like a failure for giving up on my masters on Friday but Candice, Dr Janson and Ashely and everybody else made me felt so at home and at ease. They celebrated my birthday which I was very touched because they bought me a cake, light candles and so many types of pizzas. My other friends wanted to take me out that day to celebrate. Ashley knows me best. She made sure I came. They showed me so much love and care. Nobody has ever shown me this kind of genuine love before my whole life. At night I went to listen to some music at the Ril’s Bangsar. I told myself I made the right choice. I want to walk the right way. I want to be with the right people. I want to do the right thing in life. I don’t’ want to become arrogant, selfish, egoistic, narcissist, famous or earned my wealth the wrong way.

God put so many beautiful angels my path. Thank you for being there for me. I am extremely sorry. I am not perfect and I had a very bad year. Everything was going wrong for the right reasons. I am still learning and I have a long way to go. I still know I need a lot of changes. Please still guide me along the way. Words cannot express how I feel or how grateful I am that I had The Giving Bank in my life. It changed my life and perspective forever. Thank you for all the beautiful things that you have done for me. Things that I cannot repay you back. The Giving Bank kept me alive. When I was feeling down as my world was crumbling down. I found my good side instead of my bad side because of TGB. Thank you so much for giving me so many beautiful opportunities to change myself and so many beautiful things that you have given and provided for me. It was very hard for me to change the ambitious self that was getting me into trouble. Imagine if TGB did not come into my life. I would have become a very bad human being and gone the wrong way. Thank you for saving my soul and making me discover how beautiful soul I have. Even my parents are shocked by how you managed to change their little ambitious devil at home.

Thank you for teaching me about kindness, respect, niceness, love, sharing, helping others and contributing back to the community. There are other people who need us more. There are so many people suffering in the world. Thank you for being there while I was going through a transformation. I want to do my part in the world and give back. As TGB slogan goes. WE LIVE TO GIVE! I also met many other fantastic people from this group. It was nice meeting all of you. They really do have a giving heart.

Thank you, Dr Janson Ang and Candice. God bless you so much and baby Harper and your whole family. May TGB continue to prosper and changed the lives of others. Giving the joy and love to others as well as receiving them. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I hope I do very well in my life to helped TGB to contribute back to others.

In order to lead a successful life. You need to give back to the community before starting your life which is what I learned as a life lesson. One person can change and make a difference is somebody else life by just showing kindness, time, respect, love and a helping hand.

Please give The Giving Bank Organisation A Like on their Facebook page

https://www.facebook.com/thegivingbank/

#charity

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mysticalmindblog · 4 years

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Today's society with the prevalence of Social Media and personal blogs has led to a glut of fake personalities, narcissism, and overindulgent bullying egos. How do you keep yourself in check without bending to peer pressure?

How Many Layers of Mediocrity Did You Add to Your Shell Today?

For most, the above question would be deemed offensive and condescending. It implies that by default the person being asked leads a mediocre life, and generally acts rather than being genuine.

Some context is needed for us to properly break this down into something profoundly meaningful.

So let's just get you to do a simple 5-Step Mind and Memory Challenge.

Think back to last Tuesday. Take a minute or two, and remember your day, as much as you can, from the time you woke up, until the time you went to sleep.

Now, think back to the Tuesday before that, and also try to remember the day from start to finish.

And again, cast your mind back to the Tuesday before that - so now you are looking roughly 3 weeks into your past. Try hard to remember the day from start to finish. Are you having difficulty yet? Can you remember anything especially significant about that specific Tuesday?

Now go back in your mind to the Tuesday before that. You are trying to remember the Tuesday approximately 4 weeks ago.

Finally, using your memory again, ask yourself what distinguished each Tuesday as being different from the other. What stands out in your mind?

Such Challenges are especially useful for getting mentally prepared to prompt your thought processes into a type of internal investigation that it rarely, if ever, does.

I actually did this challenge quite some time back, and I was more than hard pressed to remember any differences. Sadly, all I could vaguely remember was that there was no break from the same routine for those Tuesdays. That's it, that's all I could say, I knew I had carried on the same routine for those Tuesdays that I always did. In fact, practically every day was indistinguishable, repetitive, and I couldn't name the day or date of the last thing that occurred that stood out as being a significant positive occurrence.

Negative occurrences..? That was another matter. I always had a lot to groan about.

I have tried this on several individuals also, and had pretty much the same results. It makes you think, and can make you uncomfortable in a deep and unfamiliar way. Why is that..?

Obsession with Happiness without knowing what True Happiness is

It all comes down to catching a glimpse of the preposterous nature of our lives which can be summarized as follows: A Pursuit of Happiness through a competitive obsession to obtain pleasures and comforts via the acquisition of impermanent consumables, which serve as addictive yet unsatisfactory finite attachments, prompting a compulsive, repetitive, and exponential drive to seek an ever greater amount of impermanent consumables by any means necessary, at whatever cost, without any limits; often compelled by a herd instinct to imitate the actions of others in an attempt to manufacture a corporately approved shell of ego while seeking an agreeable sense of individuality and self validation in addition to a perpetual quest seeking positive peer affirmation.

That's quite a mouthful, right..? Can I simplify it down a bit..?

I sure can.

Basically, we are indoctrinated from a very young age that stuff, and lots of stuff, can make us happy, feel mental and physical pleasure, and be comfortable. To be attractive to others, the more stuff you get and show off, the better it will be. Especially the stuff that gets advertised to you as being the most essential, trendiest and most in-demand stuff. So study hard, be someone who is competitive, get a good job that pays good money, and get good stuff. Don't stop there, be more competitive, get a better job, get more money, get more stuff. Be a winner, and don't stop there, don't let anyone be above you, just fight hand, tooth, and nail to get what you want. Just do it. And do it again, and again, and again...

And then, maybe when you least expect it, you will find yourself drawing in your last breath, and in that moment - do you think you will FINALLY be happy**..?** It will all have been worth it**..?**

The above is the reality for billions of people worldwide, so, it's got to be OK, right**..?**

It's not like anyone has an option, unless they are born into wealth and don't have to endure all the struggling and suffering in the pursuit of happiness, right**..?**

They say that money is the root of all evil, but I do my best and work my hardest to get the things that me and my family need to be happy and comfortable, so I will be happy one day, right**..?**

No pain, no gain, right**..?**

Fake it until you make it, right**..?**

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

The precise thing that is wrong with these assumptions, and the nature of life described above, is that from the level of the individual, all the way through to entire populations spanning the world, they all have been sold on the concept and blind pursuit of FAKE HAPPINESS. That's it.

A terrible misconception of what the True Happiness in being Alive really is.

Sufferings, trials, and tribulations of life

Entire generations being born, pursuing materialistically based happiness that they see normalized by the majority, enduring the sufferings, trials, and tribulations of a life dedicated to that pursuit, sometimes corruptly, and many times at the expense of others, to never actually experience true bliss - even to the moment of their last breath.

It is this lack of understanding that can be found at the root of every conflict, every war, genocide, famine, and crime. Whether seeking power, wealth, fame, notoriety, or just trying to live a decent, *normal* life, the desired bliss can never be found, because once you have made the attachments, they will bring you suffering.

The more 'stuff' you have, the more possessive you will be about guarding that stuff, while always looking for bigger, better, newer versions. The chase will not end in your lifetime.

Without truly understanding what Happiness is, mankind blunderingly assumes it is to be found in the taking on of the role of a mindless drone, following the herd instinct, earning and spending, attaching to the idea that the more stuff you have, the happier you will be. What a perfect deception that ultimately only benefits a select few whose hands are all over the money made from giving you the proverbial 'stuff'.

Youth Mind and the Societal Programming

We aren't created as mindless drones. We humans come from the womb wide eyed and with a pure mind, pure consciousness,helpless and dependent for a time on our parents love, nurturing, and nourishment. It's not long after that we begin to choose to accept what is thrust in our faces throughout our younger years by the Corporations, by the Mainstream Media, by the Movie and Pop Music Industries, the Fashion Houses, by what we see our friends wearing, what we see our parents buying. It's like kids are shuffled through Elementary and High School learning as if they are drones being built on an assembly line of indoctrination. By the time they leave high school, the ink has dried, the glue has set, and with raging hormones and a magnified desire to stand out in a crowd they launch into early adulthood wishing to be years older already and on top of the game. It doesn't take too long for the metamorphosis to occur, and the routine to lock itself in place, before they are no more than mindless drones following the beat of a silent drum.

We humans complain. For every challenge and every problem in life, we complain. About the challenges and problems in our society and governments, and those around us, we complain. We call for change, but are unwilling to change ourselves. We stay as mindless drones on the path that we think will take us to happiness. We humans get so self-absorbed in our own little worlds, our own little melodramas, that we ignore the true issue of knowing what is true happiness, and because we want to stay on our path, we complain about the problems around us, but do nothing except blame others.

So, if the problem is not having an understanding of what Happiness is, what can be done..?

First, recognize that you have to do a clean-out of the mind. It has become noisy, disordered, and littered with a lot of useless junk.

We spend a lot of attention, time, and money - for grooming our outward appearance, be it the hair, clothes, shoes, accessories, or even in some cases modifying through cosmetic surgeries.

We also spend a lot of time caring for the appearance of our vehicles, our homes, and in recent years, a huge amount of time and attention to crafting our online profiles through various social media platforms... But what about our mind..?

At the end of the day, when we feel tired and somewhat dirty, we go to the shower or bathe to cleanse ourselves, using pleasant smelling shampoo and body washes. We like to then dress in clean clothes or nightwear. All clean, all fresh, all sanitized.

But what about Your mind..?

How do we clean and sanitize our mind in such a way as to begin to have clarity to accurately contemplate what it means to be truly happy..?

Peace and Quiet

Make time, even a few minutes, to retreat away from the noisy world and be alone, and sit down. Close your eyes. Imagine a volume dial in your mind that controls all the noisy thoughts, and begin to turn it down. Quieten those thoughts. Actually, dismiss those thoughts. One by one, just like you are closing the window panes on a computer, shut off the thoughts. If a thought like "I wonder what I will eat tonight?", for example, pops up in your mind, dismiss it. Finding it difficult..?

A 'FIND YOURSELF' MEDITATION

Try concentrating on slowly counting down from 10 to 1. Regardless of how long you spend on focusing on a number, forget time, just focus ONLY on the number. See it in your mind, hear it in your mind. Don't have any other thoughts except that number. Quite quickly you will find yourself in a very peaceful state of mind; and actually for the first time in a very, very long time, you will begin to feel a sense of deep, inner peace. What you are doing is cleaning your mind through meditation. If your are counting down, then you are meditating, and contemplating numbers. Your mind is 100% switching on, your mind is taking a beautiful shower of its own, and any brain fog will be washed away.

As you sense this inner peace, your very essence, your 'pure mind' (consciousness without noisy thoughts) will emerge. You will begin to perceive a sense of deep inner satisfaction - almost as if for the first time you experience yourself, you, the REAL you, to the point where you will almost want to say "Here I am..!! After all this time, I have found myself..!!", and this perception, this feeling, can be profoundly satisfying and life-changing. It is the proverbial mirror on the wall which you will see clearly as you have now cleansed your mind in the moment of the noisy thoughts and distracting concepts.

There - did you see them..? The keywords I used..?

PROFOUNDLY SATISFYING and LIFE-CHANGING

It is a state of mind then, that most amazing feeling.

You see, the capacity to know true happiness is already within you. You will not meet it somewhere outside of yourself, and you cannot buy it. It must well up like a fountain from deep within your heart - and it will seem like a rushing torrent of purpose, and it will be a compassionate heart..!! How so..? Because you will suddenly feel like you can save the world, that you have found the secret to save many from suffering - and indeed you would be right, because it will just be the very start of an amazing journey, a pilgrimage to know the essence of who you are, and to be able to release others from the same suffering you endured for so long.

The capacity to know true happiness is already within you. You will not meet it somewhere outside of yourself, and you cannot buy it. It must well up like a fountain from deep within you.

Instead of rushing out to trade in your 9 month old cellphone for the latest version, take time to sit quietly, and contemplate what you have to do to see yourself as a member of the human race; and that race, gender, wealth and status mean nothing to the fact. You are not above, or below, anyone. You are unique as the person you are, but you are simply a member of the human race. Look at all others with compassion, as equals, the majority of which are suffering their own daily ordeals and tragedies.

Acts of selfishness and greed are not positive things, even though many encourage the 'Do what you want, when and how you want to do it' mentality, to find happiness - they are negative things, and provoke ignorance, arrogance, and suffering. Cause and effect will always balance out your actions by repaying you what you give. Promotion of ego, and acts derived from attention craving, will lead to rampant narcissism and put you far away from having a compassionate heart.

Clear out the Clutter of the Mind

Pretty soon after cultivating more time to yourself to meditate and contemplate like this, you will see how so much of the junk you have accumulated around you is just that - junk. You'll begin to see how much worrying, stress, anxiety, and suffering you have gone through for just obtaining unrewarding impermanent junk. You will begin to instinctively feel the artificial distractions as just that, junk that is so unnecessary, and will want to begin trashing it, or donating it. You clear out the clutter in your mind, you better believe you will begin to clear out the clutter around you. Life changes will occur, as you begin to live clear minded more and more. It's a most fascinating and wonderful journey that guarantees you will see yourself, this world, and all people differently, and in ways you could never have previously imagined.

The Core of Life is the Struggle for Survival and the Suffering in-between

Will there still be suffering in your life..? Of course..!!

The world, and this life, is guaranteed to bring suffering, but finally you will have a method to master how your mind deals with that suffering, how to recognize it, and how to transmute it into something else, not just lessons to learn from, but lessons in compassion to help others who you perceive and observe going through the same crises that you have already emerged from.

Remember that Suffering is also Nature's hard-wired way of teaching us essential lessons. We cannot effectively avoid it our whole lives, but it is better to learn from it so as not to repeat the same mistakes over and over.

Don't settle for mediocrity, or living as a mindless drone for the Materialistic World

Make a pledge, a vow, an irreversible promise to become a new person by cleansing the mind and finding the supreme satisfaction of meeting the person you really are in essence, and take the most noble of journeys to be compassionate, clear minded, patient, loving, honest, and satisfied. It's not too late. All it takes is you, to get the journey started.

#self #self realize #self help #self improvement #truth #patience #love #quote #life quotes #life #suffering #stop suffering

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dxmedstudent · 7 years

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Do you think it's hum a nature to need to attach ourselves to people, and if that need is not met, we seek to attach ourselves to other things e.g. material possessions?

That’s an unusual question. And given that I have zero qualifications in any relevant field, you’ll have to take this as purely personal conjecture. I believe that people evolved to live in groups, and that for many, if not all of us, a certain level of human interaction makes us feel fulfilled and connected. That’s not to say we all need to go clubbing every day, but that living completely isolated would probably make anyone (even the introverts, even people who don’t generally like people) miserable, sooner or later. Loneliness is a real and persistent problem affecting society, particularly amongst the elderly because they are more likely to live in poverty and with disabilities, and because many of their friends and families are either deceased or inaccessible to them. I can tell you from personal experience that it has a huge impact on their lives. Even if you don’t literally believe that loneliness is a bigger killer than obesity*, if you’ve ever felt isolated you can attest that it’s not a happy and fulfilling state. Though given that appears to be a meta analysis, you probably should believe it to be true. As to materialism, I’m not a philosopher, nor an economist, nor a social commentator; I just try to make people feel a little better. I suspect that we do many things (like, say, anesthetise our emotions with substances, or latch on to posessions) to fill other needs that aren’t met; it seems reasonable that if we crave something, but can’t get it and feel deeply unhappy, we might self-medicate with something else. Buying new things often makes us feel happy for a short while. It fills our life with things, so we have a feeling that we’ve earned something. It taps into what might be a need to collect, to provide for ourselves and to feather our nests. And perhaps an innate eclectic desire to collect; I’m no evolutionary psychologist but that seams reasonable enough. It gives us something to show for our efforts, in a way that ‘numbers in the bank’ do not. Money in our bank account is abstract; it’s hard to imagine exactly how much we have, or are spending. Meanwhile, things are tangible and give you a sense of what you physically have. I can see why that appeals to people. What is materialism? A quick search defines it as “a tendency to consider material possessions and physical comfort as more important than spiritual values.”. I don’t think many people are out-and-out materialists; I think most people have an appreciation for things that are not things. For friends and for sunshine and cat pictures etc. But I do think that we’re under more pressure to consume than ever before. We make stuff faster, in greater quantities. And we are encouraged, pressured, even, to collect. To buy new things. And I don’t think we can just lay responsibility for this individually; we’ve formed economic systems that rely on consumption, so we have to encourage people to consume. And that’s definitely changing our behavior. We’re more likely to throw stuff away (because it’s often cheaper to buy something new than fix it! how silly is that?) and we’re not encouraged to mend things and carry on. Often, when we talk about materialism, we mean “yearning for expensive-celebrity endorsed designer gear”. And whilst that’s more likely to cause problems, I don’t think it differs ethically. I collect cheap dice (amongst other things…) and my friend has designer clothes; my habit is far cheaper, and stores in small spaces, but ultimately both are an expression of how humans derive enjoyment from collecting things. Ultimately, neither is more moral, though it can be argued that collecting expensive things tends to be more harmful to the individual because it locks away more of their money in a form that often depreciates in value or cannot be easily accessed. I certainly think there’s more pressure to consume luxury products because they’re more aggressively marketed towards us than ever before. I reallythink about how much we’re making just to throw it away, and how consumerism is damaging the environment. So much so that it even effects my decision as an artist; if I offer prints or merch, I’d prefer for it to be print-on-demand, or small runs, rather than anything on a larger scale, because I don’t want to bring more unwanted tat into the world. Unfortunately, that’salso the most expensive way to produce things. Making things in bulk is almost always cheaper per unit, which doesn’t incentivise us to cut waste at all. Arguably (speaking as a millennial) you could argue that, if we view today’s younger generation to be more materialist (though history kind of implies people always liked flashy stuff, we just have more ways to make flashy things than before), we should consider why people feel that investing in ’stuff’ is something they enjoy and choose to do. Arguably, we’re a lot less likely to be able to afford accommodation we’d like, or a car, and we’re not hitting the ‘adulthood’ milestones that our parents or grandparents took for granted. Moving out, going to university, cars, jobs, houses, kids; many of those things just aren’t flowing quite like they used to. If many of us can’t get a job that pays enough to afford somewhere stable to live, we’re likely to put off serious relationships or having kids til we feel more stable to do so. We’re more likely to stay on in further education, but that leaves us with much more debt, making our financial situaion more precarious. And a lot of graduates’ pay doesn’t reflect their higher level of learning, meaning it may even leave them worse off financially than if they’d never gone to university. There’s a lot written about the ‘gig economy’ and ‘zero hours contracts’, and whilst these don’t just affect young people, the overall climate is one of uncertainty. So, arguably, there’s a subconscious drive for people to control what little they can in their lives. If any reasonable calculation tells you a deposit for a flat is out of your reach, then why not eat out? Why not buy that thing that might make your flat less grim? For many people, perhaps being able to buy whatever they want, makes them feel like a grown-up. Perhaps the things we buy help bolster our identity and help us feel part of a group; nobody wants tofeel like the poor one out of their peers; it’s an immensely embarrasing feeling, even though being poor is not something to be ashamed about. Although we say the best things in life are free, participating in society often means buying/consuming media and living a similar lifestyle to your peers.When my parents arrived in the UK, houses were still obviously expensive, but they might have been 1/8 of the price they are now. At least in London. Meanwhile, salaries and wages haven’t gone up anywhere near that amount. So my parents were lucky enough to work super hard, save money studiously, and afford somewhere to live. Meanwhile, I probably earn more than my dad did when he was raising a young family, and I honestly can’t see myself buying even a tiny flat in London unless I pull something wild like exclusively locum for a few years or marry a millionaire (and neither are likely to happen). Right now, I’m just aspiring to rent a place I actually enjoy living in. And I’m pretty lucky.Many people earn a lot less, have less support, and many things must feel even more out of reach for them. The difference between what we earn, and what it costs to do things many people used to take for granted, is significant. When you think about it like that, suddenly it makes more sense. I think there are a lot of reasons we might focus on material posessions, over things that are more personal and I suspect many of them are at least slightly sad. I don’t think there’s anything necessarily bad about enjoying ‘things’ in moderation; many of the things in our life are useful and decorative, and human nature tends to make us sentimental about inanimate objects. But I do feel that they can’t ultumately replace connection, and enjoyment of things which are more than just objects. I don’t know if loneliness is the thing that makes people buy more things. But I do know that there are many things that put pressureon,or make people unhappy, and that one of the ways people take pressure off is to buy things or self-medicate with other things that make them temporarily feel better, even if they aren’t the best idea.

#ask dx #ask #askdx #materialism #loneliness

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