Ulterior Motives
Pairing: Satoru Gojo x f! student Reader
Synopsis: Gojo becomes a little bit infatuated with his bratty new student.
Warnings: Explicit smut, noncon, teacher/student relationship (reader is 18+), possessive behavior, manipulation
Tags: Spanking, panty gag, dacryphilia, dirty talk, vibrators, bondage, orgasm torture, bratty reader, humiliation
Word Count: 24.4k
Notes: This one is for ABanonymous, I hope you didn't mind the wait and I especially hope you enjoy the story. The title IS a reference and if you know, you know.
Next requested fic I will have out next Saturday, and that's a pinky promise.
âIs this seat taken?âÂ
Bored, a little tired, you turned your gaze up to the interloper with a rejection at the ready. You stopped at the cafe to warm up, you werenât in the most social of moods.
But you didnât say anything when you saw the speaker. Your lips were parted and ready, but the words puffed out as nothing more than air. There was something wrong about him. If you hadnât been so utterlyâperhaps even willfullyâdetached from your surroundings, you might have noticed sooner.Â
It was a trick of yours. Good for interviews, social gatherings, and first impressions. Bad for relationships, communication, and your general interest in other people. The girl with long, straight hair ordering a brown sugar bubble tea was annoyed. The man behind her was texting someone, likely his paramour, because his bad mood was being soothed with excitement and lust. The female half of the couple behind you was excited, her male partner was bored. Those were things you knew. Things you sensed as intuitively as you interpreted sounds from vibrations and visuals from light.Â
The tall, white-haired man standing above you wearing a dark uniform and white bandage over his eyes was a solid, unreadable wall. The energy surrounding him wasnât emotional, it was manifested, strong bordering on physical and, most likely, very bad news. You looked around the cafe, searching for some further clues about this utterly bizarre stranger, but nobody else seemed especially interested beyond his odd appearance. You cleared your throat.Â
âExcuse me, what?â you asked, composing yourself.Â
âMay I sit here?â he asked again, smiling.
This could be interesting. Or bad. You shrugged as if disinterested. âIf you want to.âÂ
He took the seat across from you, his smile fixed in place. âThank you, I canât stand drinking alone.âÂ
âOf course.â
âIâm Satoru Gojo,â he said, undeterred by your unfriendly demeanor. âItâs a pleasure to meet you.â Â
You introduced yourself in turn, smoothing your hair and hoping you didnât look too terrible. Could he even see you? Somehow, you got the feeling he could, but it didnât look like the bandage was mesh.Â
âDid you hear about what happened at the City Central Library?â he asked, bracing his elbow on the table to cradle his head. âNasty business.â
The words themselves were casual, but they left you with the same feeling as when you got caught sneaking out. That little pang of surprise, a stark interruption of suspense with panic and then a mental scramble as you tried to come up with a believable story that would get you out of trouble.Â
Did he know? That made the most sense, otherwise it was odd that heâd ask. But if he did know, you had no idea how he could, and had no way to guess how much he knew. Â
No response was worse than a bad one, so you fell back on the easiest and usually the most effective approach. âWhat happened?â you asked, furrowing your eyebrows with a vacuously concerned expression. The kind of look that made it seem as if any question was so hopelessly complex, like the slightest problem was simply impossible for a girl as empty-headed as you to grasp.Â
âThere was a gas leak of some kind,â Gojo said, his mouth set into a contemplative line. A second later, that solemn expression melted into a mischievous half-smile. âRather, thatâs what the news will report. We know better, donât we?â
You frowned, your head tilting to the side and eyes curiously wide. âWe do?âÂ
âA curse manifested itself there. Nobody died, but it was close.â
âA curse?â you repeated slowly. âAre you talking about ghosts or something?âÂ
âSomething like that.âÂ
You laughed, the light and ditzy airheaded kind of laugh. âOh, come on. Youâre teasing me, arenât you.âÂ
âWhen we interviewed the receptionist at the library,â Gojo said, his casual demeanor unaffected by your act, âshe mentioned a young woman who stopped by and warned her that something bad was going to happen.âÂ
âOh?âÂ
âActually, I have three accounts of people saying that they were contacted before an incident involving a curse occurred. One of the tips was anonymous, but the third was at a construction site. The manager said that a pretty young woman approached him and warned that the conditions would be hazardous and he needed to be very careful. Heâs in the hospital now.âÂ
âThatâs terrible,â you said, frowning. It was more of a pout, really.
Gojo pulled his phone out of his pocket. He clicked a few things on the screenâso he could see from behind the bandage, how oddâbefore holding it out for you to look at. It was security footage, presumably from the library. Although the quality was terrible, it didnât take a genius to recognize that it was you in the video. Â
âThis is from yesterday,â he said. âA curse was exorcized at this library earlier today.â He turned the screen to look at his phone, looking between you and the footage with theatrical scrutiny. âThis does look a lot like you.âÂ
âI donât know who that is, but it canât be me,â you said, pouting more. âI donât even have a library card.â
âTo be clear, Iâm not accusing you of causing these incidents. If I thought you were, we wouldnât be having this conversation,â Gojo told you. He put his phone in his pocket, picking up his drink to mess with the straw. âHow long have you been able to see them?âÂ
âSee what?â
âCurses. Evil spirits, whatever you like to call them.âÂ
You stared at him for a long moment, trying to decide if you wanted to continue playing dumb. He obviously didnât believe it. Besides, you were starting to get very curious about this strange not-blind man and the disconcerting amount of information he had about things he shouldnât.
âAs long as I can remember,â you finally answered, dropping the act.Â
âDo they scare you?â he asked, as unconcerned with your shift in demeanor as he had been with everything else. Â
âTheyâre definitely ugly,â you said. Gojo snorted in amusement at that. You looked down to consider a real answer, pushing the chunks of ice at the bottom of your cup around with the straw. âIâm not scared of them. Theyâre dangerous, but more like how a wild animal is dangerous.â
âIs that why you warn people?âÂ
You shrugged.
âHmm,â he hummed, stroking his chin thoughtfully, staring at you through the bandage. It really was a creepy feeling. âSomething still isnât adding up. Sorcerers are more likely to come into contact with curses, but youâre not reacting to cursed activity; youâre predicting it. Moreover, the places who reported your warnings have no other connection. Itâs unlikely that you were coincidentally nearby to feel the cursed energy.â
âSorcerers?â you asked, continuing to push your straw around your cup idly, the ice crackling.Â
âPeople who can see curses and manipulate cursed energy. You could also call them curse users. Of course, I donât think youâre either. At least, not yet.â He gestured to you with his drink. âYouâre avoiding the question.âÂ
âYou didnât ask me a question.â
âDidnât I?â he asked with a frown. âAh, whatever,â he waved it off dismissively. âHow are you finding and predicting curses?âÂ
âI use a map,â you told him, like it was obvious. It was obvious to you, at least.Â
âA map,â he repeated bluntly. Without any aura to read, you wished you could see his eyes at least.
âThatâs usually how you find things, isnât it?âÂ
âYouâre saying that you have a map that tells you where curses will manifest?âÂ
âYouâre asking a lot of questions,â you said. âI donât think I should be talking so openly to a strange and mysterious man.â
âMysterious? I told you, Iâm Satoru Gojo,â he said, placing a hand on his chest. âIâm a jujutsu sorcerer and a teacher at Tokyo Prefectural Jujutsu High School. If anything, youâre the strange one for going around cryptically warning people about evil spirits. â
You narrowed your eyes at him, pursing your lips. The logical part of your mind rejected everything he was saying outright, it sounded made up. Then again, you knew there was some truth to what he was saying, even if the words he used were different than your own. The fact was, it seemed like he had more information than you. You didnât like that.Â
âYou warn people about these curses in an attempt to protect them,â Gojo said, his tone softening a little as he tried to level with you, âbut they never believe you, and so they get hurt anyway. Doesnât that bother you?âÂ
You shrugged. âIt does sound pretty ridiculous.â
âItâs not ridiculous,â Gojo said. âNobody believes you see the things you see, or that you have a very special gift, but I do. If you tell me how you predict these curses, Iâll teach you how to take care of the problem yourself. More than that, I can teach you how to use your cursed energy to do things nobody else can.â
He had you on the line with that one, and he knew it. You didnât have to be able to read his aura or look in his eyes to understand that smug grin.Â
âI read once that mediums could perform a sort of dowsing technique with maps,â you said, giving in. âIâve always had a knack for divination, so I tried it out. Even with my eyes closed and using different maps, I could reliably find and mark the same spot. It didnât really turn out how I wanted it to though.âÂ
âHow so?âÂ
âYouâve seen TV shows and videos about hauntings where ghost hunters dig up all kinds of scary and interesting stories, right? I was hoping itâd be like that. You know, exciting. Instead I marked a lot of schools and hospitals and that sort of thing.âÂ
âThat makes sense,â Gojo said. âCurses tend to congregate in places like that.âÂ
âWell, I was disappointed. But then I started hearing news stories about people getting hurt in places that I marked on my map. I donât know, I guess I didnât want it on my conscience.âÂ
Gojo nodded thoughtfully. âThis⌠dowsing ability, can you do it on purpose, or does it happen randomly?âÂ
âWhat do you mean?âÂ
âIf I got you a map right now, could you mark places where a curse will manifest?â
âIt depends on if thereâs a place on the map where a curse will manifest,â you said.
Rather than get offended by your cheeky response, Gojo carried on. âAre there any locations youâre watching out for at the moment? Other than the library, I mean.âÂ
You considered that question. âIâll tell you, but if this is for a TV show, I donât consent to being on camera,â you said. âNot wearing this, at least.âÂ
He laughed. âThis is not for a TV show,â Gojo said. âAlthough, if it was, I donât know why you would need to change your clothes. Youâre cute, the messy look is endearing.âÂ
âAh, I guess you are blind after all,â you said imperiously, pulling out your phone to find the website of the other place you had marked. âThereâs an antique shop. I donât think anything has happened there yet. I tried calling, but the guy got angry. I guess lots of people try to claim things there are haunted to get a discount or something.âÂ
âDo you have the address?âÂ
âYep, right⌠here-â You flipped the screen towards him. He peered at it for a second before smiling again.
âOh, lucky! I know somebody who should be just nearby.â He pulled out his own phone, dialing a number.
âYou said you exorcized the curse at the library,â you said, âwill you do it there too?â
âIf thereâs a curse there, yes.â Gojo pressed call and put his phone to his ear. After a few rings, you heard a voice on the other end. The exchange was short, he gave the address and some words of encouragement. You couldnât hear specifics, but it didnât sound like the person was too pleased.Â
âI donât know for sure that something is there,â you said after he lowered his phone.Â
âHave you ever been wrong?âÂ
âI havenât followed through on every lead,â you said. âThere are potentially dozens of times that Iâve been wrong.âÂ
âBut all of the ones youâve tracked have been correct, yes?âÂ
You smiled. âYes.â
âWhat an interesting ability,â he cooed. âAnd you possess a respectable amount of cursed energy. I knew it. You should come to study to be a jujutsu sorcerer.â
âWhat?âÂ
âI told you that I could teach you how to use your abilities, didnât I? Youâre a bit old to be scouted, but everybody starts somewhere. I think you have the potential to be a great sorcerer.â
âYouâre joking.âÂ
âNot at all.âÂ
âYou said you teach high school, didnât you?â you asked, raising your eyebrows. âIâm almost through my third year. It would be strange to transfer so late, I wouldnât want to do anything to risk my graduation.â
âDo you have plans for after you graduate? Work? University?âÂ
âIâm going to study business.âÂ
âReally? You donât strike me as the business type.â
You gave him a very flat look. âYou donât strike me as the teacher type.âÂ
Gojo laughed. âYou got me there. Iâm only saying that you go to university so you can get a job, right? If you study at Jujutsu Tech, you will have a guaranteed job upon graduation.â
âWhat kind of job?âÂ
âExorcizing curses, saving the world, that kind of thing,â he said, waving his hand casually. âItâs not something many people can do, you know. You have to be a special mixture of brave and crazy to face curses knowing you could get hurtâknowing that others could get hurt if you fail. Itâs tiresome, scary, and you very rarely see much of a reward.â
âYouâre not exactly selling this.âÂ
âReally?â Gojo asked. âYou look plenty interested to me. You donât want to live the rest of your life being normal and bored, do you? Youâre too special for that.â
You blew out a big breath, trying to think independently of this whole bizarre situation and the fact that his flattery was more effective than it should have been.Â
âIâm still not sure I believe you,â you said. âIsnât there some sort of saying that you should never trust somebody who hides their face? An innocent young girl like me could get hurt trusting scary men like you.âÂ
âScary?â Gojo repeated.Â
âYou are, arenât you? I can feel it.â
âYou mean that you can sense my cursed energy?â
âIs that like an aura?â you asked. âBecause I canât read yours. That hardly ever happens.âÂ
âAura?âÂ
You narrowed your eyes. âYou know, spiritual energy and emotion and that sort of thing.â
âAh, this might be a difference in terminology. This is cursed energy,â Gojo said, raising his hand and curling his fingers as if holding something. The intimidating energy that surrounded him pooled there, a dark shroud around his hand. All of the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end, the discomfort prickling like thousands of little needles poking against your skin. âIs this what you mean?âÂ
âNo, thatâs⌠Bleh,â you said, exaggerating your shudder. âIâm talking about aura. Peopleâs emotions, their mental state. I think your cursed energy is stifling yours, I donât know. Or maybe youâre not human.âÂ
âMaybe,â he agreed, lowering his hand, the dark energy flowing back into him. âI think you have the potential to be a wonderful sorcerer.âÂ
âReally?âÂ
âIâll teach you. Iâm the best, you know. Arenât you tired of knowing that thereâs a problem you canât fix? Do you think you can live a life of ignorance now that you know there are answers?âÂ
Before you could respond, his phone rang.Â
âYes?â Gojo asked, taking the call. Whatever the person on the other end said made him smile. âSure, sure. You canât leave it there, Iâll transfer you the money⌠Yes, of course.âÂ
He hung up and leaned forward, dropping the phone and cradling his cheek in his hand.Â
âThere was a cursed object there,â he told you. âIt would have been a while before the seal unraveled enough to be noticeable, but it was only a matter of time before it began attracting curses.â
âIf you take it away, that means the place will be safe?âÂ
âWeâll keep an eye on it to be sure, but, generally, yes. You saved innocent people from being harmed by an unseen evil. They will be allowed to continue on living their boring, mundane lives. Thatâs what a jujutsu sorcerer does.â
You nodded thoughtfully. It was the smartest choice to simply reject him and leave and move on with your life.Â
Most likely.Â
Absolutely.Â
But when you mentally followed that course of action to its completion, you knew that a part of you would always exist in this little cafe sitting across from the strangest man you had ever met considering an offer that scared and excited you. You would always wonder about the answers he promised, every day you would wonder if there was something more.Â
âIf everything youâre saying is true-â you began.
âIt is.â  Â
â-then Iâll consider it.âÂ
Gojo smiled. âIâll have Ijichi get your transfer paperwork pushed through. Weâll have to move fast, you have a lot of missed time to make up for. You donât mind, do you?âÂ
âI said that Iâll consider it,â you told him, taken aback by his presumptuousness.Â
âSure, sure,â he said, waving his hand dismissively. âIâll be in contact soon, okay? Be ready.âÂ
Despite your attempt to retain a certain amount of resistance and control over the situation, things moved exactly as fast as Gojo said they would. He was telling the truth about all of it. There was such a place as Tokyo Prefectural Jujutsu High School, and he was a teacher, and although being such a late transfer was weird, it was all legitimate. Â
The explanations were easier than you thought too. Mom was utterly charmed by Satoru Gojo. He came to your house wearing expensive clothes and a pair of sunglasses with his white hair flipped boyishly over his brow and explained the situation with a big, charming smile and the most disarmingly blue eyes you had ever seen and she was putty in his hands. She didnât always believe you about spiritsâcurses, as Gojo called themâbut she believed it from him, enthusing about how sheâd always known you were special, and that you could do things nobody else could. It was moments like sitting in the room seeing Momâs aura flash and sparkle with attraction and desire that made you wish you didnât have the ability to see them.Â
Not even two weeks after the cafe conversation with Satoru Gojo, you were packing up and moving to live on the Tokyo Jujutsu High campus grounds. As you packed, you thought a lot about the first time you saw an evil spirit. You screamed and screamed. It wasnât until your grandmother came and comforted you that you calmed down. She had that effect on people. Making them comfortable, making them feel safe.Â
Throughout your life, you flirted with divination and spirits and dark energy mostly for your own gain and amusement, but she was a real deal spiritual woman. If she were alive, she wouldnât have liked who you were. That had been true for a while. You wondered what she would think of you going to study to exorcize curses, if that would have met with her approval. You wondered what dad would think. It had always been his plan that you should go to university. He wanted you to be educated before you got married. Funny, because he abandoned his university educated career-driven wife for some ditzy young thing he met at a bar.
It was kind of funny to think that, in the end, you wouldnât go to university and you wouldnât get married. Spite wasnât a good primary reason to do something, but you couldnât deny the frantic heat of its inspiration.
âI donât know,â Haruka said, her voice distorted through your phoneâs speaker as you unpacked your things. The room you were given on the Jujutsu Tech campus was larger than you thought it would be, although it didnât look nearly so big with your stuff strewn everywhere. Mom laughed at your materialism, but you didnât want to be underprepared. âI like him, but I donât think he likes me back.â
You slipped a shirt onto its hanger, rolling your eyes at her dramatics. âThe only way youâll know is if you ask him.âÂ
âItâs weird for him, I think. âCause Iâm still in school. I mean, thereâs barely a year difference between us, but⌠I donât know. Maybe it is weird. If my mom knew I was dating Ikki, sheâd flip out.âÂ
âThen donât ask him out.â Â
Haruka sighed. âI wish she was like your mom. She lets you do basically whatever you want.â
That stung, although you werenât entirely sure she meant it to. âThe way I see it,â you said, sidestepping that comment, âit wonât be weird after youâre out of school. Wait a few months, itâs not like youâre going to have time with exams going on.âÂ
âI wish you were here. Now when I make bad decisions I donât have anyone to blame them on.âÂ
You laughed. âI was thinking the same thing. I canât copy your homework anymore, why even bother being friends?âÂ
âBecause,â Haruka said, clearly taking offense, âI am-â
âKnock knock,â somebody called through the open door, startling you. You turned to watch Gojo come in, looking around your room while Haruka rattled off all of the many reasons she was an invaluable friend to you. Well, you assumed he was looking around your room. He had returned to the bandages covering half his face, hiding his impossibly beautiful eyes.Â
âOne second, Haruka⌠Can I help you?â you asked him, raising an eyebrow to hide the flicker of excitement you felt seeing him.Â
âOh, are you talking to someone?â Gojo asked. âI can come back later.â
âAh, no, thatâs fine,â you told him, very easily deciding that you would rather talk to him than listen to Harukaâs boy troubles. âHaru, Iâve gotta go,â you said, picking up your phone. âIâll talk to you later.âÂ
âIs that a manâs voice?â she asked. âWhy is he in your room, what kind of school is that? Is-âÂ
You ended the call, cutting her off. âDo you need something?â you asked.Â
âI didnât mean to interrupt anything.âÂ
âYou didnât,â you said, returning to hanging up your clothes. âAlthough sheâs probably going to tell everyone this whole transfer thing was an elaborate lie to cover for the fact that I got knocked up and ran away with some guy. Iâm not sure why, but nobody believes Iâve dedicated myself to a strict religious lifestyle.âÂ
âHow much do they know about your abilities?â Gojo asked, walking over to your bed and sitting down, grabbing one of the stray magazines off the floor. He flicked through the glossy pages of fashion advice and gossip with a distinct lack of interest.Â
You snorted, hanging up one of your last few dresses. âYouâre kidding, right?âÂ
âNot at all,â Gojo said, dropping the magazine to flip through another. âIt can be very isolating to keep such a big secret from the people closest to you.âÂ
âIt would be such a drag to explain,â you said. âBesides, nobody wants to know that things like curses exist. They just want to live their normal lives where things make sense.âÂ
Gojo hummed in amusement. âIs that really the only reason?âÂ
The tone of his voice set you on edge. It sounded like he was implying something. âWhat do you mean?âÂ
âIt would make things more difficult for you if anybody knew you could read their mind, wouldnât it?âÂ
You frowned at him, although he didnât seem to be paying attention. âFirst of all,â you said, putting a hand on your hip, âI canât read minds. Second of all, itâs not like Iâm actively trying to spy on people. I canât help it.â
âCalm down,â he said with a smile, tossing the magazine aside. âI wasnât making any comment on your character. It was an observation.âÂ
âRight,â you said, forcing yourself to let it go. âBy the way, where is everyone else? The rooms around me all look empty.âÂ
Gojo waved his hand nonchalantly, standing up. âThere arenât any other third year girls.âÂ
âDid something happen?âÂ
âNo, itâs not abnormal. Jujutsu sorcerers are extremely rare.â Gojo walked towards the wall you had half covered with various posters and decorations. âI heard your admission interview went well.âÂ
âOf course it did,â you said, smiling. He didnât see it, too focused on the map. You had it set up on your wall like you had at home, ready in case the mood struck.
âThatâs the library,â Gojo said, tapping a finger against the marked spot. His fingers were long. Considering his abnormal height, it was hardly surprising. It was attractive though. You shut that thought down fast. You could acknowledge it as a fact, but he was your teacher now. Besides, he probably had women throwing themselves at him from all angles, youâd rather be celebate than be reduced to one of the many.
âAnd right there,â you said, coming up behind him to point at another mark, âis the-â
âAntique shop,â he shot you a smile over his shoulder. âWhat an interesting ability.âÂ
âIsnât this sort of thing normal for, um, jujutsu sorcerers?â you asked, the term coming out a little awkwardly.Â
âNot at all. Sorcerers are highly individualistic. There are inherited techniques, but many of them are unique to the sorcerer. Theyâre innate, carved into your frontal lobe.â He tapped his forehead, turning towards you.
âBut you can do the same thing,â you said. âReading peopleâs auras and all of that.â You grinned, raising your eyebrows playfully. âYouâve got a third eye.âÂ
âSix Eyes, actually,â Gojo said. âAlthough it does seem like you have a related form of extrasensory perception.â He threw an arm around your shoulders, swaying you back and forth. âYouâre a little mini me! Isnât that exciting?âÂ
The sudden touch made you stiffen up, too surprised to react immediately. The only coherent thought you had was that he smelled really good. You shook that out of your head, pushing at his arm in a half-hearted attempt to get some space.
âWhat can you do then?â you asked. âCan you teach me?âÂ
Gojo stopped swaying you around. âWerenât you listening to anything I said? Jujutsu techniques are-âÂ
â-innate and unique,â you finished for him. âBut you can teach me how to get better at my own techniques if theyâre like yours, right?â
âAh, ah, ah,â Gojo said, stepping away. âIf you try to run before you learn to walk, youâll fall on your face. Youâre getting a late start, so youâre going to have to work hard.â He raised his pointer finger to lecture you. âYouâll start by getting control over your cursed energy.âÂ
âOkay,â you said, nodding. âHow do I do that?âÂ
âFirst! You clean your room,â he said. âItâs a mess in here. Then come to the classroom. Iâll have to find Oyama.âÂ
âWhoâs Oyama?âÂ
âThe other third year. Heâll be able to help you when Iâm not here.âÂ
âYouâre leaving?âÂ
âAre you disappointed?â Gojo cooed, leaning forward to put himself on your level, pursing his lips in a mocking display of pity. âAs much as I would love to teach my cute little student personally, I have obligations to fulfill as a sorcerer. I hope you donât miss me too much in the meantime.â
You gave him a flat look, hiding your genuine disappointment behind your irritation at the mockery. âIâm sure Iâll live.âÂ
âThatâs the spirit!â Gojo said, patting your head. âOkay!â He stood up straight, turning away. âDonât take too long,â he called as he left, âI hate having to wait.âÂ
âIâm sure this will only take me four or five hours,â you said. âMaybe six. I hope you donât miss me too much in the meantime.âÂ
Gojo didnât respond to your taunt, shooting you a final smile over his shoulder, one that was all blinding white teeth. The covered eyes made it more menacing than playful.Â
âI hate it when you ignore my calls,â Mom said. âItâs been over a week since you gave me any sort of update. Thereâs only so much time I have to talk to you, so when you donât answer, I have no idea what to think.â
âI know, Iâm sorry,â you said in as apologetic a voice as you could fake, holding your phone between your ear and shoulder as you did your nails. It was a futile effort, there was no way you could keep your hands manicured. All you could do was fight back your cuticles and paint your nails knowing they would be chipped the next day. âI spend all my time training, studying, or exhausted from training and studying. Do you remember Gojo talking about how being a late transfer meant a lot of extra work? I want to succeed here, so I have to put in the work.â
As you hoped, the apology and mention of Gojo quelled some of her fire. âOh, well, I still expect you to keep me informed.âÂ
âI know,â you said. âReally, thereâs not much to say.â Other than going out on a mission with Oyama for the first time and helping him exorcize a nasty curse that you helped to find with your unique ability, but you werenât going to tell her that. You were saving that for when Gojo came back from whatever mission he was off doing. Instead, you painted a lick of red onto your pinky nail, carefully working the color into the edges. âHow are you?â you asked her. âYou mentioned you were seeing that guy from the lab?âÂ
âDidnât I tell you? I had to end things with him,â Mom said. âHe was a real piece of work.âÂ
âOh, no you didnât. Iâm sorry,â you apologized, capping the nail polish bottle and appraising your hands. Serviceable, under the circumstances.Â
âYou know how men are. You think theyâre fine, but they turn out to be completely crazy.â She huffed, you could imagine the way she would shake her head. âActually, Iâve been spending some time with a man from the second floor. Itâs going really well.â
âOh, thatâs exciting!â you exclaimed with enthusiasm, rolling your eyes. She was almost as bad as Haruka with the boy drama. You wanted her to be happy, of course you did, but having to hear about her messy romantic life got tiresome.Â
âWhen you get back, maybe the four of us can go out for dinner.â
âFour?âÂ
âHe has a daughter. Sheâs a little younger than you, Iâm sure the two of you would get along really well.âÂ
âYeah, that sounds fun,â you said, really scooping deep to manage an enthusiastic tone. âIâm just not sure when Iâll be able to get some time away. Like I said, Iâm very busy.âÂ
âItâs been two months, surely you can ask Gojo for one weekend home.âÂ
âIâll ask him,â you told her, making sure she could hear your doubt. Hopefully this fling wouldnât last long, you really couldnât stomach the thought of feigning interest in some strangerâs daughter.Â
Content that your nails were dry, you peeled your phone away from your ear.Â
âBut Iâve gotta go for now,â you told her. âI promised Oyama Iâd study with him. You know, final exams.âÂ
Another lie, although one you didnât feel as bad about. In reality, final exams at Jujutsu Tech werenât at all like at a normal school. You would still be graduating, but not through lengthy tests. It felt a little cheap to have all of your studying go to waste, but you werenât about to complain.
âYes, of course,â Mom replied. âDonât forget to keep me informed, alright?âÂ
âGot it,â you said. âIâll talk to you later. Love you, bye.âÂ
âLove you.âÂ
You hung up, tossed your phone to the side, and uncapped the bottle to paint your toenails.Â
Gojo returned a few days later with kitschy souvenirs from some small village you had never heard of and a big smile, eager to hear how you were progressing. For that matter, you were eager to share it with him. He hadnât been gone too long, but you were working harder than you ever had before, and getting better accordingly.Â
âOkay!â Gojo said, leaning against the edge of his desk. âTell me everything Iâve missed. How is your training?âÂ
âIâm getting a lot better at controlling my cursed energy,â you said. âYou can tell, canât you?â
âI can,â Gojo said, the corner of his mouth lifting in a little smile. âWhat about your hand-to-hand training?âÂ
You frowned at how quickly he brushed over your impressive accomplishment. Even Oyama was a little impressed by how quickly you adapted to the natural movement of cursed energy. Once again, you tried to get a read on Gojoâs state of mind to know what he was thinking, but it was as impossible as before.
âI got punched in the face for the first time,â you said.Â
The comment didnât have the intended effect of eliciting amusement or confusion. Instead: âDid you deserve it?âÂ
âWhat?â you asked, indignant. âNo, not like that. I was sparring with Oyama and I realized that Iâd never been punched in the face, so I asked him to. It seems like the sort of thing I needed to experience.â
âAnd what did you learn?âÂ
âThat Oyama enjoyed it way too much, and I needed to buy waterproof mascara. It made my eyes water like crazy.âÂ
Gojo laughed, but didnât give you anything else to work with.Â
âIâve also learned that Iâm really not into fistfighting,â you said, finally being serious. âIâll definitely want to use weapons.â
âYour cursed technique is more effective the closer you are to the opponent, isnât it?â Gojo asked. âSo youâll want something that can work at very close range.â
âBut first Iâll have to learn how to reliably close the distance. Iâm not fast enough. Yet.â
Gojo nodded thoughtfully. âSpeed is important, but reading your opponent is more valuable in that situation,â he said. âIf you ask nicely, I may be able to help.âÂ
âI have to ask?âÂ
He sighed dramatically. âMy time is in high demand.â
âSome teacher you are,â you scoffed, rolling your eyes in as exaggerated of a way as possible.Â
âWatch your tone,â Gojo told you, wagging a finger. âYou donât want detention, do you?âÂ
âIâm so sorry, sensei,â you said, batting your eyelashes. âI didnât mean to disrespect you.âÂ
He didnât immediately respond to the taunt which, when you couldnât get a read on his mood anyway, was oddly unsettling.Â
âYouâre lucky Iâm such a kind, patient man,â he finally said, his voice softer than before. âThat cheeky tone could get you in trouble.âÂ
âIâve heard that youâre way worse,â you said. âIâve heard that all of the higher-ups think youâre a nuisance. Iâm only trying to be more like you, sensei.â
âYou might find you donât enjoy where that gets you,â he said. The tenor of his voice was playful, but the tension beneath wasnât.
âYou wouldnât do anything,â you said, hoping to laugh it off.
He smiled, but didnât laugh.Â
âI heard what happened in Shinjuku,â Gojo said before things got too awkward. âYou were able to identify the type and motivation of the curses and warn Oyama. Thatâs impressive.âÂ
âOh⌠Yeah, thank you,â you said. âIt wasnât that difficult once I understood what type of place it was. Officially, it was a club, but that was only a front for their prostitution scheme. Of course the curses would hate men.âÂ
âYou know, Iâve been thinking, with proper honing, you might reach a point where you can perceive the nature of a technique before it can be used against you.âÂ
âReally?â you asked, excited by the idea. It sounded like an impressive trick.
âItâs possible, certainly. But,â he pointed at you, âyouâre a long way off from developing a skill that complex. Donât get distracted from working on the basics.â
âI know, I know,â you said, trying not to seem too petulant. âI know I have to practice with my cursed energy, but sensing things about people and curses, thatâs intuitive.âÂ
âItâs hard on you, isnât it?â Gojo asked, although it wasnât much of a question. âYour ability is empathetic, not sympathetic. To understand what youâre facing, you have to let it in. That can be very dangerous. You have to carefully control it.â
âItâs not comfortable,â you allowed. âBut I can do it.âÂ
âTo know the nature of the curse is to be confronted with the absolute worst of humanity, and it very well could end with you cursing them in turn.â
âI wonât let it get to me.âÂ
âNot to mention how dangerous it is, Iâve known sorcerers who are rendered entirely catatonic just through proximity to especially strong curses, and thatâs with their defenses up.âÂ
âI can handle it,â you insisted, frowning.Â
Gojo paused, considering you with his head tilted curiously to the side.Â
âYou said you asked Oyama to punch you in the face,â he said. âYou might be a bit of a masochist, but I assume you were looking for that experience in a controlled environment.âÂ
âYeah, something like that,â you said, too caught off guard by the change of topic to properly react to the masochist comment.
âThatâs smart, actually,â Gojo said. âCome here, I want to show you something.â
âShow me what?â you asked, frowning.Â
âThe danger of special grade cursed energy. Come here, I donât want to cast too wide a net and catch anyone else. This is for educational purposes only, alright?âÂ
âOkay,â you said, hopping off your desk and approaching him.
âWhat do you feel?â Gojo asked, pushing away from the big desk to stand up straight. His height continuously took you by surprise. Maybe youâd find loafers with more of a heel, it was annoying to have to look up at him like this.Â
âNot much. Youâre as mysterious as ever,â you said, an unmistakable note of bitterness in your tone.
âOkay then. Are you ready?â Gojo asked.Â
âGo ahead,â you said, bracing yourself. You knew cursed energy, you had felt it both from sorcerers and actual curses. You thought you were prepared.
You were not prepared.Â
Cursed energy flared out around him in an oppressive wave, capturing you in its field. The only thing you could think was that you were going to die. There was nothing you could think to compare it to. Fear flooded your system, it was all that existed. Not the fear of pain or death or any human threat, but complete and total destruction. Cellular annihilation, the ruination of the thing that was âyouâ until not one part remained. You couldnât move. His cursed energy snuffed that out, squishing down everything that wasnât animalistic terror. When your legs gave out, you barely felt it, only the weakness of your body caving in. Gojo caught you before you fell, holding you up against him.Â
âThe way you feel right now,â Gojo muttered, his voice soft and low, âthis is what it is to be truly helpless. This is what youâre ultimately up against. Unless youâre prepared to endure the depths of hell, your arrogant curiosity will destroy you.âÂ
Just like that, it was over.Â
You sobbed, hiding your face against his chest. It was pathetic, but you couldnât control the entirely bodily reaction now that you were arrested with blind fear. Your body was practically vibrating from how violently you were shaking. Never in your life had you experienced such horrific, visceral fear. It was worse than you would have thought, even though you were never actually in any danger.Â
âAh, maybe that was too much,â Gojo said regretfully, patting your back.Â
âWha-aa-as that-t yoâuor te-eh-chnique?â you asked, your stammered words muffled against his chest. How embarrassing.Â
âThat? No. If I had used my technique, your brain would be mush right now.â Gojo ran his hand over your hair, almost affectionately stroking it. âDo you need me to carry you to your room? I wouldnât mind.â
Your hands tightened in the front of his uniform, although you couldnât recall when you began holding onto him. Gojo hummed, petting your hair again, his hand idly lowering to your back, and then your waist, and your hip.Â
It was only a flicker, a fraction of a second, but you felt the barest whisper of glee. Lust. For blood or otherwise, you didnât have the capacity to tell, but the impression was in such stark opposition to your own tumultuous feelings that it startled you.
You gasped, stumbling away from Gojo like heâd shocked you. Luckily, you managed to catch yourself on the edge of one of the desks rather than fall. He was, as ever, completely inscrutable. Whatever you thought you felt, it was gone as fast as it struck.Â
Unable to read anything else from the man, you decided that it was your imagination, a subsequent reaction born from a panicked brain. It was difficult to hold onto the feeling of primal terror now that it wasnât actively battering down your defenses. Without any actual danger, your brain couldnât generate the same intensity. With shaking hands, you wiped beneath your eyes, keeping them averted.Â
âThat was embarrassing, Iâm sorry,â you said.
âThis isnât too bad of a reaction. Itâs kind of cute, actually.â
âOh, yeah, definitely,â you agreed with breathless sarcasm, trying very hard to compose yourself. âFor the record, I preferred being punched in the face.âÂ
âIâm sure,â Gojo said with a little laugh. âWell,â he clapped his hands together, effectively ending the report, âyou look like you could use a break, letâs go see whatâs for lunch.âÂ
âItâs so stupid,â Haruka said, her sniffling voice crinkling through your phone's speaker.Â
You laid on your back while listening to her cry, staring at your dormâs plain ceiling. Things with Ikki hadnât gone well. Normally you could at least pretend to care about her love life, but your thoughts were elsewhere.Â
âI knew he didnât like me, I just thought since he was so nice and-âÂ
It pissed you off to be so consumed by thoughts of one man, but it felt like there was a whirlpool in your head. You could fight it for a while, but all too soon your thoughts would return to your enigmatic teacher. Back and forth, back and forth, you bounced between trying to convince yourself to be realistic about yourself and the creeping paranoia that there was something going on.
Gojo was a very physical sort of person. It was conceited to think heâd be interested in you when he was attractive enough to get any woman he reasonably wanted. He was only helping you. It wasnât intimate. Even if it felt a little strange, that was normal for combat training, wasnât it? Â
He was interested in you. He was taking advantage of his role as your teacher, teasing you for his own amusement. That flash of lust was real, and it warned you of danger. The awkward nerves you felt around him were rational.Â
Back and forth and back and forth and-
âHello?â Haruka snapped.
âAh, um, yeah, Iâm really sorry, Haru,â you said, realizing after a beat of silence that you had missed your cue.Â
âWhatever. I know you donât get it.â She sniffed and then cleared her throat, composing herself. âI donât suppose you know any hot guys, do you?â
âNo dice,â you told her, although your thoughts went in a different direction. Gojo was hot, but he was also older than you and your teacher and there was no way. You rubbed your temple as if you could physically drive out the intrusive thoughts. It was pure ego.Â
In any other situation, you would be able to check for sure, but not with him. That was it. You didnât know, and so you were making assumptions. Everything was normal, you were the one acting like a fool, self-obsessed enough to think you were getting the attention of an attractive older man. Â
âWhen you visit, weâll have to go out looking for guys,â Haruka said. âI want to do something crazy before classes start.âÂ
âIâm sure I can find a way to sneak out,â you joked. Mostly joking. You werenât confined on campus, it was a little hard to find time.Â
That weekend, Gojo was gone, Oyama was busy, and you had the day to yourself. Rather than wasting it on campus, you hopped on a bus to the Tokyo station and took the train to Yokohama. You thought you would feel different returning to familiar stomping grounds after being away so long, but you didnât. Nothing ever really changed.
That thought struck you especially when you spotted a pretty girl in a red sundress lackadaisically scrolling on her phone on a bench at the station. Haruka Inaba consistently scored top marks in every class, volunteered at hospitals in her free time, and reigned over the schoolâs tennis club throughout her second and third year of high school. She was the type of girl other girls wished they were.
A cursory look over your social media timeline would present picture after picture of the two of you having fun together, and she was the only person you had ever told about your dad leaving your mom for a younger woman. In short, she was your best friend.
Although, it might have been more accurate to say you had entered into an alliance. Everybody had a face they preferred other people didnât see, when you were honest with someone that made you close, but didnât necessarily foster a lot of affection.Â
âI hope you didnât wait too long,â you said, greeting her with a smile.Â
âIt was no big deal,â she told you. âThe stationâs on the way to the mall anyway.âÂ
âWell then, shall we?â you asked.Â
âOf course,â Haruka said, getting to her feet and tossing her hair back to expose her perfectly smooth neck and shoulder, a very practiced gesture. âIâm surprised your mom didnât come. You havenât seen her since you left, have you?â
Internally, you rolled your eyes at how obvious the question was. Testing pressure points, or just looking for gossip.Â
âSheâs a busy woman, I wouldnât ask her to spend her day off with me,â you lied as you shuffled into the crowd of foot traffic flowing out of the station and onto the street. Mom didnât even know you were in town. âBesides, I hate shopping with her.â
âThatâs fair. What are you looking for today?â
âAthletic wear that isnât hideous.â
âDo you do a lot of exercise at that new school of yours?â she asked, saying âschoolâ like it was a joke.Â
You shrugged. So far, you had been vague about Jujutsu Tech. It was impossible to be specific without sounding insane. Besides, Haruka only wanted to know more so she could dismiss the idea that you were special enough to be scouted for an incredibly upscale and mysterious school and she wasnât. Â
âA bit,â you said. âWhat time are we meeting Fumiko and Kaoru?â
âThe movie starts at four-fifteen,â Haruka told you.
âOh, Ikkiâs coming too,â you said. âI hope you donât mind, Kaoru invited him before I could ask him not to.âÂ
Haruka smiled tightly, her aura flashing aggressively. âWhy would I mind?âÂ
You let that one go, knowing better than to rub it in.
After that, you and Haruka relaxed into a far more superficial, casual dynamic. Clothes were a great unifier, and she had great taste.Â
The world was set right. No curses, no fighting, no second guessing peopleâs feelings. The other three showed up around lunch. There was still some strain with Haruka and the ever-oblivious Ikki, but you pretended you didnât notice. The movie was boring, the dinner conversation even more-so, but you were rewarded with a milkshake out in the open air plaza.
Haruka and Fumiko were arguing with Kaoru about action versus drama movies. You wondered what type of movie Gojo preferred, if either. He was capable of stunts cooler than any action hero, but you werenât sure heâd buy into drama either.
Was that some sort of mystical divination, your errant thoughts predicting the future? Probably not, although it was concerning that your thoughts would stray to him so easily.Â
You realized someone was behind you a fraction of a second before their big hands were covering your eyes. âGuess who,â he said. He, as in, one of the few people who could easily sneak up on you, who could make you nearly jump out of your skin, your cursed energy flaring and heart racing. Â
You grabbed Gojoâs wrists, pulling his hands away from your eyes and turning to face him. He wore a casual button-up, a pair of retro round lensed sunglasses, and a huge grin.Â
âWho are you?â Ikki asked, his body tensed and halfway out of his seat.Â
âItâs alright,â you said, putting a hand on his arm. âThis isâŚâ you said, looking at Gojo as you tried to think of an answer.
âIâm her teacher, Satoru Gojo,â he finished for you with a megawatt smile, waving to your friends. Haruka looked impressed, her eyes dragging over him without even an attempt at subtlety. The other three looked at him with a range from mild interest to outright hostility.Â
âI thought you were on a miâa business trip,â you said.Â
âI finished early,â Gojo said, wedging himself between you and Ikki to wrap an arm around your shoulder. The stool was high enough that he didnât have to lean down very much, but he still almost pulled you out of the seat. âArenât you going to introduce me to your friends?â His face was right next to yours. You couldnât look at him, not when he was peering over the top of his sunglasses, giving you the full weight of his beautiful eyes.
You cleared your throat, irritated that he would go out of his way to embarrass you. âThis is Ikki, Haruka, Fumiko, and Kaoru,â you told him, gesturing to them in turn. Â
âYouâre more than welcome to join us, Gojo,â Haruka said, leaning forward with her eyes fixed directly on Gojo. âSheâs spoken very highly of you.âÂ
âShe didnât say you were so young,â Ikki said, clearly disgruntled by the way Gojo had pushed him aside. âAre you really a teacher?â
âAh, you flatter me!â Gojo said, laughing a little louder than appropriate. âWell, as much as I would love to stick around to hear embarrassing stories about my cute little student, itâs time for us to get going.â He released you, standing up straight. âIt was nice meeting you all.â  Â
He couldnât be serious.Â
âUs?â you asked, raising an eyebrow.Â
âYes. Thereâs something we need to do before going back to campus. Itâs time sensitive, we have to hurry.âÂ
âIâm kind of in the middle of something,â you said. âCanât it wait until tomorrow?âÂ
âNo, it canât. Come on.â
You played out the scenario where you continued to argue, but all of them ended with the same eventuality. He was, no matter what else, your teacher. Sighing dramatically, you slung your bags over your arm and stood up.Â
âI guess I have to go,â you said. âIt was fun, Iâll see you later.â Fumiko and Kaoru smiled back, but Haruka was fixated on Gojo. You could practically see the hearts swirling in her aura. Ikki was unamused on the edge of hostile, glaring at Gojo who had put his hands in his pockets, unconcerned.
âOkay,â you said, turning away from your friends. âLead the way.â
Gojo smiled. âDonât worry,â he told you, taking off with his long-legged strides, âitâs not far.âÂ
âIs there a job?â you asked, trotting behind him to catch up. The plaza was congested with the late afternoon crowd, it was a bit of a battle to make your way out until you reached the equally crowded sidewalk.Â
âItâs something very important,â Gojo told you. âTime is of the essence. Canât you walk any faster?âÂ
âIn these shoes?â you asked incredulously, coming to a stop beside him as you waited for the crosswalk light to turn.Â
âIâve never understood that,â Gojo said, looking at your feet. âWhy wear something that you canât move around in? Iâd hate that.âÂ
âBecause these shoes are adorable and they make my legs look great,â you said, once again rushing to keep up with him as he crossed the road.Â
âOho?â Gojo asked, slowing his stride to look at you with a smile. âAre you trying to impress somebody?âÂ
âI want to impress everyone,â you said.  Â
âIt was that guy you were sitting next to, wasnât it?â he asked knowingly. âAre you dating?â
âIkki?â you asked. Your nose scrunched up at the idea, you could only imagine Harukaâs reaction. âNo, weâre not.âÂ
âReally? He was very protective of you.â
You shrugged, not really interested in that particular topic.Â
âHow was your trip?â you asked, prompting him to tell you about England. When you thought about the city of London, you imagined big stone castles crawling with translucent ghosts in huge gowns, but he said it was just a regular city with regular boring curses. Â
You werenât as disappointed by that as you might have been otherwise, too busy trying to keep up. Apparently, not far meant something completely different to Gojo than to you, although part of that was that he refused to slow down for your sake. It was almost like he was amused by forcing you to scramble behind him, but you didnât want to think he would be that rude just for his own entertainment.
It was a huge relief when he stopped in front of a collection of businesses. âWait here,â Gojo said, grabbing your shoulders and pressing down as if to plant you in place.Â
âYes, sir.âÂ
He went into the store and you waited dutifully, looking around at the people passing by. You felt out the area curiously, but there wasnât much. Peopleâs auras that projected regular, boring emotions and some vague, stale residuals, the tumultuous swirl of rotten energy that swarmed the city like a foul stench. Nothing out of the ordinary.
It was difficult not to replay his questions in your head, it really only added to the confusing mess of nerves and doubt you felt when you thought about Gojo. Why would it matter if you were dating Ikki or not? It wasnât his business whatsoever. But really, not that you would ever openly acknowledge it, the idea that Satoru Gojo would give you attention in that way was thrilling. Not good, not bad, just thrilling. It was because of who he was, you knew that rationally, and you knew that was a weird and childish way to think. There was no way he had any inappropriate sentiments towards you, no more than you did him.Â
When you thought about it like that, you just got irritated. With him and with yourself.Â
âOkay!â Gojo called, easily catching your attention as he left the store and came to stand by you. He held a little box from the bakery, although you couldnât see what was in it. âClose your eyes and say âahhâ.â
âWhat?â you asked, your eyebrows furrowing.Â
âCome on, do it,â he insisted.Â
You did as he said, making no attempts to hide your exasperation. Gojo pushed a pastry puff into your mouth, leaving a smear of cream over your bottom lip.Â
Chewing the pastry, you opened your eyes to Gojoâs eager smile. âWell? Delicious, right?â he asked, licking off the extra cream from the fingers that had just been in your mouth.Â
You nodded as you swallowed, more distracted by the way his tongue ran along his long fingers than the flavor. Which was ridiculous. âAre we waiting for someone?â you asked, forcing yourself to focus on that instead.
âNo, weâre going back to campus. These are the best profiteroles Iâve ever tasted. We had to hurryâthey make a fresh batch for the evening crowd.â
âSo⌠thereâs no job?â you asked.Â
âI never said it was,â he told you, popping another pastry in his mouth.Â
âThis was the thing that was so important that I couldnât spend time with my friends that I never see?â you pushed. âYouâre not serious.â
âAre you mad?â Gojo asked. âI got some just for you.â
âI havenât seen them in a long time,â you said. âAnd you were acting weird.âÂ
âYou are mad,â Gojo said, frowning. âI only wanted to share something nice with you. After all, youâve been working so hard. Iâm proud of you.âÂ
âIs that it?â you asked. âReally?âÂ
âWhat else?â he asked.Â
âHello?â you asked after picking up the call. You were waiting for your laundry, half-heartedly leafing through a book about historical cursed objects.Â
âDid you make it back alright?â Haruka asked from the other end.Â
âI did,â you said. âIâm sorry about earlier. Gojo is a little⌠eccentric.âÂ
âHeâs gorgeous,â Haruka said. âI canât believe you didnât tell me your teacher was so hot.âÂ
âHeâs my teacher,â you said, surprised by the flare of irritation you felt at having her point it out. Of course he was hot, but you couldnât acknowledge that. You wouldnât want to anyway, not when you were still feeling so conflicted.Â
âYeah but heâs young. What do you think, twenty-five? Twenty-six?âÂ
âHeâs my teacher,â you repeated.
âHeâs not my teacher. Do you think heâs single? I didnât see a ring.âÂ
âNo,â you said bluntly, closing the book with a snap.Â
âNo, heâs not single?âÂ
âI mean no, Iâm not having this conversation with you,â you said. âItâs weird and disrespectful.âÂ
âYouâre kidding,â Haruka asked. âSince when do you care about that?â
That caught you off guard; you didnât have an answer. Any response you could think of led to increasingly disquieting explanations. âI donât think Gojoâs the dating type,â you told her, deciding to side-step that question completely. âHeâs out of the city about as often as heâs here, so I doubt heâs got much time for that sort of thing.âÂ
She hummed. âMaybe I can come visit you on campus. Itâs just outside of Tokyo, right?âÂ
âItâs a religious school,â you told her. âNo visitors on campus.âÂ
âThatâs so lame. You should give me his number then.â Â
âWhy would I do that?âÂ
âFor me,â Haruka said. âTo mend my broken heart.âÂ
âYou canât date my teacher.âÂ
âIâm not looking to date him,â Haruka said. âCome on, you owe me. Please?âÂ
âLook, Haru-â you began, ready to try to explain to her why it was a bad idea that wouldnât go anywhere, but she cut you off.Â
âUnless you really are saving him for yourself,â Haruka said. âI guess I wouldnât put it past you.âÂ
You closed your mouth, swallowing your warning. For that, she could deal with another rejection. âOkay, Iâll ask.â
âThank you!â Haruka said. âOkay, I gotta hurry to take a shower, text me. Donât forget, okay?â
âI wonât,â you said, truly meaning it. âGoodnight.â Â
The next day, the sun was high and hot as you dropped down to sit next to Gojo on the field-side benches.Â
âYour form is looking much better,â Gojo said. âI like that outfit too. Is it new?âÂ
You smiled, preening a little bit at the compliment. âThank you, it is,â you said, smoothing your hair back. âYou know, men donât usually notice clothes.âÂ
âI notice everything you do,â he said. âItâs the best way to keep track of your progress.âÂ
âRight,â you said, smiling and accepting that with a nod, aggressively rejecting the fluttery nerves the comment inspired. âSensei, may I ask you something personal?â
âOh? What is it?
âAre you seeing anyone? Romantically, I mean.âÂ
âThatâs hardly an appropriate question to ask your teacher.âÂ
âYou asked me if I was dating someone,â you pointed out. âIâm only asking for aâa friend.âÂ
âA friend?â Gojo repeated dubiously. âWell, you can tell your friend that Iâm not seeing anyone. Not exclusively, at least.â
That confirmed that, at least. âAnd youâre okay with younger women?â you asked, acting more flustered than you felt. âMy age, I mean. Or, you know, around my age. Not me, obviously.â
âIt depends on the woman,â he said slowly, leaning forward with a little smile curling his lips. âWhatâs she like?â
âI guess you could say sheâs kind of like me,â you said. âSome people think sheâs difficult, but maybe you donât mind that?â Â
âIs she secretly very shy?â he asked. âPerhaps because sheâs afraid of her true feelings?âÂ
âShe is a little shy,â you allowed. âYouâre intimidating sometimes, sensei. And itâs scandalous because youâre my teacher.âÂ
âI wonât be your teacher forever.â
âYeah, thatâs true.â
âBut I would hate for anyone to think Iâm playing favorites.âÂ
âItâs not like Iâm asking for special treatment.â
âArenât you?â Â
âNot at all. Iâd rather you keep the entire thing between you two,â you said, your tone reverting to its normal timbre.
âWhat?â Gojo asked, his voice flat with confusion.Â
âMy friend Haruka. You met her yesterday. She asked me to give her your number and see if you were interested,â you said. âItâs the only way to make up for having to bail out on the plans we had last night. Thatâs okay, right? It was your fault.â Â
âAre you still mad at me for that?â Gojo asked.
âIâm not mad,â you pretended to consider his nonplussed expression for a moment. âYou seemed interested before.â
âYou were misleading me on purpose, werenât you? How cruel. I thought you were a nice girl.âÂ
âMisleading you? I donât know what you mean, sensei. I told you I was asking for a friend.âÂ
If you could see his eyes, you had a feeling they would be narrowed. âIn that case, Iâm afraid Iâll have to pass.â
You shrugged. âYour loss.â Taking a drink, you pumped yourself up and got to your feet. âOkay! Iâm gonna win this next match for sure.âÂ
You jumped off the benches. You did not win the next match. You did, however, feel as if you had scored some sort of petty victory with Gojoâs obvious confusion. You wondered if he truly thought you were making a pass at him and was willing to play along, or if it was just as much a game to him as you. If you could read him, youâd know. And it wouldnât be a source of many late nights spent looking up at your ceiling wondering if you were reading too far into innocuous interactions.Â
But you couldnât.
You shouldnât have played into it. That was the conclusion you quickly drew as March rolled out into April and your training reached a feverish intensity. The more you trained, the stronger your Divination became, the more you realized how utterly outmatched you were, how unprepared. Not only with Jujutsu sorcery, but with your enigmatic teacher.
The interactions seemed so banal at face value, but they became the only thing you could think about. It was always something.Â
âOh, look at you!â Gojo said, startling you as you were leaving campus one Saturday morning. âThatâs very cute. Did you get all dressed up just for me? Iâm flattered.âÂ
âNo, I was going to go out.â
âItâs for a boy, then. I see.âÂ
You rolled your eyes impatiently. âIf I was dressing up for you, Iâd be dressing up for a guy. But I'm not.â
âOh, but I just remembered,â Gojo said, snapping his fingers. âIâm taking you along on a job. You need more experience, donât you?â  Â
And he was always so close. Maddeningly close, finding any excuse to touch you.
âOop, thereâs an eyelash on your cheek,â Gojo said, leaning in close with his lips pursed as he pinched it off. âOkay! Make a wish!âÂ
You resisted the urge to shrink back, looking at the bandage covering his eyes as impassively as you could. âI wish-â
âNo, donât tell me!â he said, waving his hands. âOtherwise it wonât come true.â
The two of you would be walking somewhere and heâd grabbed your hand. âNo, no, weâre going this way,â he'd say, acting like it was the most casual thing in the world to entwine his fingers with your own to guide you.Â
And the other things, a friendly arm thrown over your shoulder, his hands physically adjusting your stance when practicing fighting, his relentless proximity, it added up. Added up to what? You didnât know. Whenever you expressed discomfort, Gojo seemed so confused.Â
You thought that at least when he was away on missions, you would have space to breathe, but even then you felt his domineering influence.Â
âWhere are you going?â Oyama asked.
âItâs not your business.âÂ
âIs it an emergency?âÂ
âNo. Iâm-â
âThen you need to be training, your hand to hand is still way too sloppy.âÂ
And then it was:
âYou marked a spot on your map, we should go check it out.âÂ
âAnd it can only be done today,â you said flatly. âOn the day I had off. When I specifically mentioned I wanted to go out.âÂ
Oyama shrugged as if helpless. And, honestly, he probably was. You had a feeling you knew exactly where the orders were coming from.
When Gojo came back and you asked him about it, demanding some explanation, he looked utterly baffled by your confrontational tone.Â
âYou need to focus,â Gojo said, frowning with concern, his aura as impenetrable as ever. âYouâre still so far behind your fellow sorcerers.â He wrapped an arm around your shoulders to comfort you, his voice lowering intimately. âI know itâs difficult right now, but when youâre strong, you can do whatever you want.â
The string of cancellations as well as the thing with Gojo not working out was the breaking point for Haruka. She stopped inviting you places. More than once, you considered telling her the truth, coming clean about everything regarding Gojoâs strange behavior, but you didnât.Â
Even if you told her the truth, that you werenât necessarily trying to invite Gojoâs attention, it would validate the thing she first assumed when asking you to get his number for her. That was an old wound, an uncomfortable situation in high school with the tennis instructor. Besides, when you presented the case to yourself, it sounded insane. A handful of interactions with a man who was a bit eccentric, being restricted because you were so far behind other sorcerers.
Sometimes you felt insane, like you were missing something vital, drawing the wrong conclusions from inferred motivations because you couldnât read Gojo like you could everyone else. You asked for a transfer to the Kyoto campus, and you clung to that. They said they would consider it, but you werenât sure if they took it seriously. You couldnât provide any details as to why you wanted to move, not even to yourself.Â
All you could do was lay in bed listening to white noise TV overthinking every comment he made and interactions you had, your thoughts caught in the endless back and forth of confusion. Â
âYou werenât there to greet me,â Gojo said, calling into the empty gym where you were stretching. He had been gone for three days and, unlike when you first began at Jujutsu Tech, you werenât excitedly looking forward to his arrival. Or maybe you were? At least it was something other than the oppressive isolation and relentless training, but it only really upset you. âI got you a souvenir.â
âIâm good, thanks. Did you have a fun trip?â you asked in an icy tone, refusing to turn around to address him with respect.
âI wouldnât call it fun, itâs work.âÂ
âStill,â you insisted, rolling your shoulders, âit must be nice to have a little freedom.âÂ
An awkward silence followed your comment.
âYouâre not mad or something, are you?â Gojo finally asked.Â
âIâm not mad.â
âI havenât done anything to deserve this attitude,â Gojo clearly wasnât convinced, you could hear the theatrical dismay in his tone. âWhatâs got you so grumpy?â
âIâm not grumpy.âÂ
âSo why are you pouting then?âÂ
Finally fed up with the badgering, you whirled around to face him, resolved to be upfront, to not give him a way to get out of the question. But then you looked him up and down and felt an odd jab of disgust and guilt twist in your stomach. It was so much easier to think the worst of somebody when they werenât there to provide any sort of counternarrative. Seeing Gojo, it was hard to believe that he was the person you sometimes feared him to be. He was too attractive, powerful, and intelligent. It didnât make sense that he would resort to underhanded means to manipulate you.
âIs there a reason Iâm not allowed to leave?â you asked, staring at his covered eyes.Â
âWhat do you mean?â Gojo asked, the picture of innocent confusion. âNobodyâs stopping you.âÂ
âReally? Because when youâre here, you stop me and, when youâre not, Oyama finds a reason that I canât. Itâs almost uncanny that so many jobs coincide with the days that I make plans.â
âHave you tried asking Oyama?â Gojo asked. âMaybe he has a crush on you.â
âHe detests me,â you told him flatly. âI donât blame him.â
âOh? Do you want me to talk to him about that? I hate to think that my students arenât getting along.âÂ
âI want to know whatâs going on,â you said, trying to keep calm.
âI donât know what you mean,â Gojo said, his act of innocence perfectly maintained. Unless it wasnât a mask. You couldnât tell. âAre you feeling okay? Maybe youâve been working too hard.â He frowned, thinking about it for a second. âI know! Letâs go out together. Iâve been dying to try this new sushi restaurant in town. Iâll invite Oyama and we can all get to the bottom of whatever it is you think youâre feeling.âÂ
The moon hung high in the sky as you did training exercises in the field near your dorm, trying to shut your brain off. Nothing was solved over dinner. Of course not. Both men acted like there was nothing strange going on.
No, of course you were allowed to do whatever you wanted. Of course they werenât stopping you. But if they were, they had good reason to. If they were, the problem was that you were just so weak. Sure you were making progress, but you werenât even close to catching up with other sorcerers your age.
When you got back to your room, you broke down and called your mom, intending to tell her everything. The isolation, the suffocation, the worries you had about your teacherâs behavior. But all she could talk about was how well things were going with her new boyfriend. They were considering moving in together. And it was fine if she gave his daughter your old bedroom, wasnât it? You didnât need it anymore. You texted Haruka, but she didnât reply, posting on her social media story to ensure you knew she was ignoring you on purpose.
So you decided you needed to hit something. It helped you calm down, at least. It was easier to believe the world had a semblance of peace in the dark of the night.Â
âLooking good!â a familiar voice called from behind you. You were trained enough to not be startled, taking a defensive stance as you considered how you were going to handle this. âI am curious as to why youâre out here though. I thought you were tired.âÂ
That was the reason you gave after you got back to campus, the reason you immediately excused yourself from his company. Gojo knew it was a lie then, and said it like a joke now.Â
âI canât sleep,â you said, shrugging as you turned around.Â
âI see. Youâre not still angry with me, are you? Even though I didnât do anything wrong?â
âNo.â
âThen I canât help but wonder what face youâre imagining on that training dummy.âÂ
âAre you that hopeful that Iâm thinking about you, sensei?âÂ
He laughed. âIf anything, Iâm worried,â he said. âYou know what they say about a woman scorned.âÂ
âYou told me I needed to train more,â you pointed out. âDo you have any tips? I prefer fighting with knives, but I canât trust that Iâll always have weapons, and I still need to get in close if Iâm going to use my Divination.âÂ
âIâm not sure thereâs much to read from your current opponent,â Gojo said. Â
âIâm being serious,â you said. âIf you donât want to help, thatâs fine too.âÂ
âNo, I do. Okay, get into a defensive position,â he instructed, which you did.Â
Gojo walked around to stand close behind you, you could feel the warm thrum of his body, the energy coursing through it, the power.Â
âYour posture is fine, the problem is your mindset,â he said, his voice lower. He reached around to brush his fingers over your flushed neck and over, across your shoulder and down your arm. âYou canât think of it in terms of only using your cursed energy or only your body. Jujutsu sorcery is more than the sum of its parts. You fight with your whole self.â His hands settled on your hips, repositioning them slightly to the side. Then his palm laid flat over your pelvis, dragging up your stomach. Your skin crackled with little sparks of electricity, crawling and thrumming and alive and nervous. Â
âSensei, Iâm, uhâŚâ Tongue-tied. A shiver snaked down your spine and you resisted the urge to move and put distance between you. You cleared your throat. âI understand that part, itâs justâŚâ
âYou donât feel it yet. The harmony,â Gojo said. âMost people arenât actively aware of their bodies, but a sorcerer has to be.âÂ
âI am,â you said softly.
âAre you really?â Gojo asked, his lips brushing your temple. âDo you feel how your cursed energy flows through your body? It has its own circulatory system, you just have to find its pulse, synchronize it with your own.â He raised his hand up to press against your neck, lightly pressing against the place where your blood erratically thrummed beneath the skin.Â
âI get it,â you told him, you turned around, grabbing his hand from your neck, pressing your palms flat together.Â
Gojo looked taken aback, but didnât withdraw. You saw nothing from within him. Felt no flicker of emotion.Â
âYou know, I⌠I realized,â you said, looking up at his half-covered face, imagining a pair of sparkling blue eyes, knowing he was staring at you. âWhen weâre close like this, I can feel your⌠Infinity. The endless expanse that separates you and me.âÂ
âReally?â he asked, sliding his hand to the side. It dwarfed your own. âI heard that youâre getting even better at reading people. Itâs very impressive how fast youâre progressing, Iâm so proud.â
âI thought that would help me figure you out, but itâs not your cursed energy keeping me out. Itâs your infinity.â You looked at where your hands met. You felt his skin, his warmth, and yet you knew the connection wasnât quite there. It was impossible to truly connect with him. âTrying to read you is like trying to find a flame in an endless abyss. Even the few times I thought Iâve seen something, I canât be sure that it wasnât just an illusion in the dark.âÂ
Gojoâs head tilted curiously. âWhat was it that you thought you felt?âÂ
âIâm getting stronger,â you told him rather than answer, pressing your hand ever more firmly against his. âIf you give me a chance, Iâll show you. Thatâs why youâre keeping me from going out, right? Because you think Iâm weak.âÂ
âIâm not keeping you from doing anything,â Gojo told you. âI donât know where you got this idea that I am.âÂ
You dropped your hand, stepping away from him. The words were a knife twisted in your chest. He made you sound crazy. Made you feel crazy.Â
âRight. Iâm going to bed,â you told him flatly. âGoodnight.âÂ
âHello?â Haruka answered, her voice groggy from just waking up. She probably wouldnât have taken your call if she was fully awake.Â
âIâm too sick to train or study today,â you told her, holding up a potential outfit for the day. Gojo was gone, and you were done asking for permission to leave. âIâm going to be laid out in bed all day today and tomorrow.â
âWhat?âÂ
âDo you think Ikki and Kaoru would be interested in hanging out? I could use a drink.â While you were still a little over a year out from buying liquor, both Ikki and Kaoru were of age and they didnât mind hosting little parties at their shared apartment.Â
âItâs eight in the morning,â Haruka said.Â
âNot now, I mean later. Iâm gonna catch the twelve-twenty train. Letâs get lunch, or go shopping. Honestly, I donât care, I just need to get out of here.âÂ
âUm. Yeah, I think we could do that.âÂ
âGreat. See you then.â You hung up before she could change her mind.Â
They waited until you were more than a little drunk to ask. You should have expected that, although you also didnât expect to get so drunk. Ikki kept handing you drinks, urging you to relax and enjoy yourself. The world was warm and sweaty and spinning and comfortable and lovely and frightening.Â
âOkay,â Ikki said, catching your attention. A cigarette hung out of the corner of his mouth like he was some kind of cowboy. He only smoked when he got drunk, it was kind of cute, not that you would ever tell him that. He already knew it anyway. âWhatâs up with you lately?âÂ
âWhat?â you asked, blinking fast.
âKaoru thinks you got knocked up,â Fumiko said, speaking up from her position leaning against Kaoruâs chest. Â
Kaoru frowned down at her.
âWhat?â you asked, trying to force your drunk brain to think sober thoughts. âItâs not anything like that⌠Itâs a⌠Itâs nothing.âÂ
âYouâve been blowing us off every time we asked you to come out without any explanation,â Haruka said. âIt has to be a boy.âÂ
âNo, itâs not.â
âCome ooooooon,â Fumiko pushed. âItâs a guy. Heâs keeping you all to yourself.âÂ
âThatâs not it,â you insisted.
âIs it something illegal?â Ikki asked with a puff of smoke.Â
âNo, nothing like that,â you said. Then you broke out laughing, looking at your nearly empty beer. âItâs not like I have a boyfriend or anything. It-it, okay it is a guy. Weâre not dating. It used to just be a weird vibe but now itâs like, weirder. He stops me from leaving and if heâs not there then he gets Oyama to keep me from going and thereâs always a reason, but itâs still⌠Thatâs weird, right? I had to sneak out to come tonight, and even then thatâs only because heâs out of the country.âÂ
âThereâs no way,â Haruka said, her voice flat with genuine disbelief. You could tell she was already prepared to call you a liar. âYouâre saying youâre some kind of hostage?âÂ
âWait so, what, thereâs somebody at your school whoâs obsessed with you?â Kaoru asked. âWhat even is that place?â
âItâs that teacher, isnât it,â Ikki said, pointing his half burned cigarette at you âThe creepy guy with the glasses.âÂ
âHeâs not, like⌠creepy,â you said. âI donât know, itâs just weird.â
Haruka scoffed, rolling her eyes. âWhy would a guy that looks like Gojo go through all the trouble for you?â
âTell him youâre dating me and Iâll beat him up if he keeps you all to himself,â Ikki said with a lopsided grin, butting his cigarette and throwing an arm around your shoulders.Â
âHow would that help?â Haruka snapped, glaring at the two of you, her aura sparking with anger. That was very not good.Â
You shrugged off Ikkiâs arm, scowling and trying to snap back to sobriety. âI knew you would do this if I told you,â you said. âThatâs why I didnât say anything before.â
âWhy would I believe you? I know how you are. This is just like that one time in our second year with the tennis coach.âÂ
You frowned. Of course she would bring that up. âThat wasnât-â
âYou thought he was cute, but he didnât reciprocate so you told everyone he was a perv.âÂ
âWasnât that guy fired for trying to get with his students?â Kaoru asked.Â
âYeah, but he wasnât into her,â Haruka argued.Â
âItâs weird that youâre jealous about sexual harassment,â you told her bluntly. Â
âOkay! I think we should take a breather,â Ikki said, trying to smooth things over. âYou girls mightâve overdone it a little.â You pushed him off, your own temper flaring to meet Harukaâs fiery aura.Â
âI bet Gojo turned you down and thatâs why youâre making this up,â she said, her voice raising. âOr, no, you just want to outdo me. Brag about how youâre so much better just like always.â
âThe only reason youâre saying this is because youâre mad he didnât wanna sleep with you and you think itâs my fault,â you told her, working hard to keep the drunken slur out of your voice. âItâs not like I enjoy having somebody breathing down my neck all the time, although Iâm sure youâd love the attention. You beg for it often enough.âÂ
âYou do too!â she said, getting shrill. âYou just act like you donât. Being a prude doesnât make you superior.âÂ
âThatâs true, I donât need self-respect to be better than you,â you snapped. In the ensuing silence, everybody in the room was just staring at you. Like you were the one out of line. Like they hadnât ganged up on you to force you to tell them what was going on.Â
Angry at them and angry at yourself for losing it so spectacularly, you stumbled drunkenly to your feet. Ikki got up too, although you pushed off his help as you went to the bathroom. Haruka shouted insults after you, which you ignored.Â
Instead you went into their bathroom, marveled at the disgusting state of a place shared by two guys, and threw up.Â
The knocking woke you up. It took a minute of looking at the sunshine peering in through the blinds to realize you were on Ikkiâs and Kaoruâs couch, your back cramping from sleeping in such an uncomfortable position. A glass of water and two painkillers sat ready for you on the messy coffee table alongside empty beer bottles and snack wrappers. You groaned, sitting up and taking the medication with a wince.Â
Whoever was at the door continued to knock. You grunted, standing up. Bad idea. You nearly fell right back down, but you managed to stay on your feet. You were about to answer the door before you realized that could be a bad idea, turning around to find Ikki.
The door to Kaoruâs room was closed, but the other door yawned open. You peeked in. Haruka was passed out on the bed. You could hear the shower running from the bathroom.
âIkki?â you called through the door. âSomeoneâs knocking.â
âWhat?â
âSomeoneâs at the door,â you said. âAre you expecting anyone?â
âNo,â he said. âWill you get it? Iâll be out in a second.â
Perhaps hearing voices inside, the person at the door only got louder. You sighed, annoyed by their insistence.Â
You returned to the living room to open the door, squinting at how bright the morning was in comparison to the dark apartment.
âGood morning!â Gojo enthused.Â
You blinked hard three or four times, willing reality to bend to make what you were seeing stop being true.
âWoah, you look like shit. Did you have a fun night?â Â
âWhat?â you asked, baffled beyond comprehension.
âWho is it?â Ikki asked, coming out of the bathroom with billows of steam and only a towel around his waist, drying his hair absently.Â
âIâve come to retrieve my wayward student,â Gojo said.Â
You stared at him, hungover and confused and wanting nothing more than to lay back down on that horribly uncomfortable couch and never get up.Â
âAre you ready to go?â Gojo asked you when he got no answer.Â
You let out an unsteady breath, closing your eyes for a second to try and gain some clarity or zen. Nope. That was a lost cause.Â
âGive me a second, I have to use the bathroom,â you said, turning away from him towards the bedroom to get your bag.Â
Haruka was still passed out, a fact you were very grateful for. You werenât completely clear on the details of last night, but the broad strokes were all there. You slung your bag over your shoulder and went into the steamy bathroom. Clearing the mirror in squeaky finger-streaks proved Gojo right. You looked like shit.
After dry heaving a little as you brushed your teeth, you put on clean clothes and sorted out the mess that was your hair. It wasnât perfect, but you didnât look as awful as you felt. When you returned to the main room, Ikki was dressed. The room was heavy with awkward tension, although Gojo didnât look at all uncomfortable. You werenât sure you wanted to know what words were exchanged.Â
âReady to go?â Gojo asked. You sighed, throwing your bag over your shoulder.Â
âIâll talk to you later,â you told Ikki, smiling apologetically.Â
And Ikki, in his endless wisdom, did the last thing you expected and grabbed you around the waist, pulling you in for a kiss. He stared at Gojo the whole time, aggression swirling around him thicker than any desire or affection. Using you to prove a point. That was unlike him. Gojo mightâve just had a way of pulling out the worst in people.Â
âCall me later,â he said when he released you, winking.
âBye,â you said, forcing a smile.Â
âIt was nice to see you again,â Gojo said, smiling and waving in a too-cheerful way. You walked out into the sunlight, wincing at how bright it was, going for the stairs without waiting for him to follow.Â
âDid you have fun last night?â Gojo asked as you took the stairs down to ground level.Â
âYeah,â you said, too tired and irritable to play along.Â
âYou know, as your teacher, itâs my responsibility to look after your wellbeing,â Gojo said, hopping the last few steps to stay next to you. âUnderage drinking can have very dire consequences. Especially when youâre spending the night at a manâs home. I would hate to think that youâd be taken advantage of.âÂ
âWhy are you here?â you asked, turning to face him. âHow did you know where to find me?âÂ
âI got back last night. I was worried when you werenât on campus,â you could feel his gaze as he looked you up and down. âIâm glad to see youâre just fine.â
âRight,â you said. That didnât answer your question, but you doubted you would get anything better. âCan we stop to get breakfast?âÂ
âCan you wait until we get to the station? We have to hurry to catch the train.âÂ
âHurry for what?âÂ
âDidnât you read my messages? You have a job,â he told you.Â
âYouâre kidding.âÂ
âYou begged me for a chance to prove yourself, well here it is. If you do well on this mission, Iâll consider you for a promotion of sorts. Isnât that exciting?âÂ
Through a series of increasingly unfortunate circumstances, the thread you were following led to a realization that the curse was based on the time of day. That is, exactly before sunrise. By the time you figured that out, you had about nine hours to kill. Â
Gojo said heâd rent a room for you to rest, but it had to be close enough that you could be at the lot exactly on time. On short notice and in such a small area to select from, the choices of accommodations were slim.Â
One room, one bed. If the embarrassment didnât kill you, the cliche would.Â
Gojo showering gave you some time alone to prepare yourself, at least. It wasnât like you were afraid he would do anything, but you couldnât say you were exactly comfortable with the arrangement. The whole day, you had been standoffish, but now you were just tired and nervous. Of course you wanted to prove yourself to him, but you also got angry every time you thought about him springing this on you when he knew you werenât operating at your best. It felt calculated, but you knew that he would easily deny that if you accused him of anything.
The worst of everything was how meticulously he avoided any conversation about your behavior, or Ikki, or his own motivations for doing this. The more stormy your mood got, the bigger he smiled, and the more he acted the role of the caring teacher. Â
Just like always, you felt like you were a little crazy. Drowning in delusions of self importance.Â
You sat crossed legged on the foot of the bed and put on a ghost hunting show. If only being a sorcerer was like on TV. Dramatics, theatrics, silly devices, and easy answers. That had been your original hope when you started playing with Divination. You wanted something exciting, the cheap thrills weren't doing it anymore.
Well, you got what you wanted. You certainly weren't bored.
âWhat are we watching?â Gojo asked as he came out of the bathroom with a cloud of steam, drying his wet hair. You cleared your throat and averted your eyes from his partial nudity.
âGhost Adventures,â you said, staring straight ahead at the screen.
âWhatâs that?â he asked as he got onto the bed, laying on top of the comforter. The robe mostly covered his bare torso.
âA ghost hunting show,â you answered. âItâs American.â
âIs it any good?âÂ
You snorted out a short laugh. âNo. We donât have to keep it on.âÂ
âI donât mind.âÂ
You stared at the TV for a minute before checking your phone again. Haruka hadnât texted you all day. At first, you were resolute that you would only accept an apology, but the longer you thought about it, the more you reasoned yourself to accept anything.Â
âIsnât it uncomfortable to sit like that?â Gojo asked, startling you. You turned off your phone screen, setting it on the bedside table.Â
âIâm fine.âÂ
âI heard that if you sit with your back hunched like that youâll get stuck that way.â
You rolled your eyes, although you did swing your legs around to lay against the headboard. As much as you wanted to pretend it wasnât true, you were still tired from the previous night. Since he made no move to do it, you got under the stiff sheets, trying to fluff the lumpy pillow into comfortable submission.Â
âAre you dissatisfied?â Gojo asked suddenly. Â
âWhat?â
âAre you dissatisfied with your life as a sorcerer? When you first started at Jujutsu Tech I thought you were over your rebellious delinquent phase, but now youâre falling back into the same habits. I can only assume itâs because youâre dissatisfied.âÂ
âIt was one night,â you argued. Chewing on the words and your lip for a second, you cast a sideways glare towards him. âIf there werenât such strict restrictions about when and how I can leave campus, I wouldn't have had to lie.â
âYouâre still technically a student, of course there are restrictions. Do you think thatâs unfair?âÂ
âOyama doesnât have the same restrictions.âÂ
âOyama is nearly a Grade Two sorcerer, and heâs never had any behavioral issues.â
âRight,â you said, your voice flat. At least that was a different answer than you had gotten previously, some acknowledgement that you were getting unfair treatment.Â
âIf youâre this unhappy, why havenât you said anything?â Gojo asked.Â
You wondered how much he already knew or assumed. He wasnât stupid, he was painfully perceptive. Unless it was all in your head, and he truly did not understand why you were reacting like this because he had no reason to think you would second guess his behavior and motivations.
âYou already have a lot to worry about,â you told him.Â
âI always have time for my cute little student. Itâs my responsibility to see that youâre satisfied. I have noticed that you seem a little more tense. Is the stress starting to get to you? Itâs important to talk about these things, you know. Otherwise they can spiral into a much larger problem. We have to rely on each other as sorcerers.â
âIâm fine.â
Gojo hummed. You pretended to be very interested in a case about some old haunted asylum where they tortured patients or whatever.
âIâve been meaning to talk to you about something,â Gojo said when the show cut to commercial. âYour abilities can be considered dangerous to yourself and those around you.â Â
âWhat do you mean?âÂ
âSorcerers and curse users go to great lengths to keep their techniques secret. The mere idea of your Divination puts them at risk. While itâs not fully refined yet, there is a non-zero chance that you will be able to read techniques in their entirety. Iâm sure there are already conversations being had about taking you out. Nobodyâs stupid enough to try anything when youâre under my protection, but if they saw a chance, they would jump at it.âÂ
âSo I canât leave,â you said, staring hard at the TV as a commercial for foot cream played out.
âYou can!â Gojo said quickly, his voice energetically trying to placate you. âNeither myself or any other sorcerer will hold you against your will. Youâre an adult, you can do what you please. Iâm only telling you of the risks you face now.â
âHow would they know about my technique?â you asked.
Gojo shrugged glibly, his expression just as unreadable without sunglasses or that bandage. âThese things have a way of getting around.âÂ
In the very deepest part of your brain, you wondered if he didnât have a hand in that. If he wouldnât be willing to put you at risk if it meant you needed his protection. That was ridiculous. Truly. No matter what else Gojo had done, he hadnât done anything you could call evil. The jujutsu world was just dangerous, and you already knew that.Â
âI understand,â you said, trying to sound unaffected.
Neither of you spoke for a while, although you didnât think he was watching the TV any more than you were. It was a ridiculous story and they were so deadly serious about their silly spirit boxes.Â
âArenât you going to sleep?â Gojo asked. âIâll wake you up when itâs time.â
âYeah,â you said. âI should. Do you want to turn it off?âÂ
âI donât mind. You usually sleep with the TV or something on anyway, donât you?âÂ
âYeah, butâŚâ You frowned, your assurance trailing off. How did he know that?Â
âIâve always wondered why,â Gojo said. âAre you afraid of the dark? That seems inconvenient for a sorcerer.â
âI have bad dreams,â you said.
âWill I have to worry about you waking up kicking and screaming?âÂ
âBad, not scary,â you corrected him, trying to make yourself as comfortable as possible. âIsnât it wonderful that no matter how hard you repress things when youâre awake, your brain can just shove it in your face when youâre defenseless?âÂ
âI understand that,â he told you with a wry smile. Â
âSo even the strongest has to deal with that?â you asked, stifling a yawn into your palm. âI guess there really is no hope for the rest of us.âÂ
âIâve read that nightmares offer insights into our psyches,â Gojo said as you stared at the ceiling. âThings that we fear the most⌠and things we want the most.â
âI dream about my dad coming back,â you said softly, without thinking. You scrubbed your palms into your eyes, laughing humorlessly. âItâs pathetic. Sometimes I wish Iâd dream about curses or whatever. The happy dreams are so much worse.â
âI truly believe that love is the worst curse of them all,â Gojo said softly. Â
âYouâre probably right.â After a moment, you added, âIâm sorry. For whoever you dream about, Iâm sorry.â
âWho said I dream of anything?â
You huffed. âFine. I take back my sorry.âÂ
âYou canât, Iâve already accepted it. It warms my heart to think of my cute little student worrying about her sensei. What would you do to help me, I wonder?â
Your face scrunched up in disgust. âNothing. Forget it.âÂ
âIâd be more than happy to return the favor, you know. If youâre lonely,â Gojo said, turning onto his side with his head propped up on his arm, âI can help you.âÂ
âIâm fine.âÂ
âLiar,â Gojo said. âIâve noticed how sad you are, how you refuse to reach out to anybody for support. I know what that's like."
âI donât need anyone's support,â you said, avoiding his eyes. âI can either get over this, or I canât. Thatâs on me.â
âIt doesnât have to be,â Gojo said, even softer. âEven the strongest need help sometimes, and youâre hardly the strongest. Iâm worried about you.âÂ
You sighed, even more annoyed. âDonât be.â
Gojo groaned dramatically. âYou make it so difficult to be a good teacher and mentor. I want to help you, but then you act like this. Itâs like youâre trying to rile me up.â
âWhat are you talking about?â you asked, a cold flush running through your stomach.
âIâm telling you that you should be more careful,â Gojo said. âIâm not entirely sure you realize that you could very well face consequences for your behavior.â
âIs that a threat or something?â you asked.Â
âNo, of course not,â he told you with a smile. âNow go to sleep, youâll need it if youâre going to perform well tomorrow. Remember whatâs at stake.âÂ
The next afternoon, after getting your wounds treated and taking a long nap to make up for two nights of barely any sleep, you stood in the classroom facing Gojo. You had been expecting bad news, but not quite to the gleefully dismissive extent that he saw fit to deliver it.Â
âSuffice it to say, you did not meet my expectations. I guess youâre stuck with me for a while yet,â Gojo said, smiling like it was great news despite the attempted apologetic tone.
You grit your teeth. âIs this what you meant about consequences for my misbehavior?âÂ
âWhat do you mean?â Gojo asked, tilting his head curiously.
âI donât know what you want, if you expect something from me or if youâre mad Iâm dating or whatever, but I did a good job,â you said. âYou know I did, so-âÂ
âYou didnât,â Gojo said, cutting you off. âI carefully evaluated every part of your performance, and I donât think youâre ready to take on more complicated jobs. This isnât a game. There are lives at stake. Your life, the lives of your fellow sorcerers, and the lives of the civilians weâre trying to protect. If you want to accuse me of trading favors or having an unfavorable bias, youâre more than welcome to take your case to the higher ups. Iâm sure they would be delighted to hear of any perceived misconduct. Otherwise, I recommend you focus on your training.âÂ
You nodded stiffly, biting your tongue. âYes, sir.â
âI know youâre upset, but itâs important that you donât rush something youâre not ready for. You could get hurt.â Â
âI understand. If youâll excuse me then.â You turned to leave his office, your shoulders high and tense.Â
âOh, right! I was told this morning that you asked for a transfer,â Gojo said, snapping loud enough to make you wince. âIt was denied.âÂ
You looked over your shoulder, a cold bit of dread sinking into your gut.Â
âKyoto doesnât need any more sorcerers at the moment, especially when you're still such a low level sorcerer,â he told you, returning to that innocent tone. âWhy was it that you wanted to transfer anyway?âÂ
âNo reason,â you said, hiding your expression and leaving quickly.
The disappointment was bad, but what you hated more than anything with the humiliation. If Gojo were honest, then you could understand your failure, but not in the way he presented it to you. He was going out of his way to embarrass you. Hot bouts of sticky red fury filled your stomach and your head whenever you thought about it, a feeling so mean and aggressive that it hurt.
You couldnât call your mom, you wouldnât know what to tell her. Haruka still hadnât texted you. Ikki had asked if you were alright, but there wasnât anything you could think of to say to him. You knew what he wanted, what he expected from you by offering what he saw as help, but you couldnât do that. Even if it pissed Gojo off, it wasnât satisfying. He would view that sort of behavior as petty. It was petty.
If you were going to do something, it had to be big. Something that you werenât supposed to do, something that would make a point, something that would soothe your embarrassment. When you felt yourself drawn to the map on your wall, pencil in hand, it was like a golden opportunity had fallen into your lap, gifted directly to you by fate.
âOyama! We have a job,â you told him, acting like you were unhappy with the arrangement.Â
âWhat are you talking about?â Oyama asked, his eyebrows furrowing.
âItâs a spot on my map.â You could see his hesitation so you feigned annoyance. âIf you want to go alone, thatâs fine, but Gojo told me I had to as a part of my evaluation.â
He believed it, not even checking to make sure you were telling the truth.Â
As soon as you were conscious, a ragged gasp ripped up the inside of your dry throat, panic shooting through your veins like ice water. You groped your chest and stomach, searching for wounds that werenât there. A little yelp of fear left your mouth and you wrenched your body upright. The sheet fell from your chest, making you realize that you were not dressed, and you were not alone.Â
Ieiri shot you a concerned look, blowing a final puff of smoke out of the window into the dark night before butting the cigarette. âCareful,â she warned, âyour wounds are healed, but youâre going to be weak.âÂ
Tugging the sheet up to cover your chest, you realized you were in the clinic, and then your memories crashed through the gauze of groggy ignorance. The curse, the fight, the terror, and then the stupidest plan you had ever concocted. Although you werenât wounded anymore, you coughed weakly, your body reacting to the mere memory of suffocating on your own blood.
âHow do you feel?â she asked.Â
You groaned, falling flat onto your back. âI feel like I got hit by a truck.âÂ
âHow much do you remember?â Ieriri asked, closing the window. Â
âEverything.â Unfortunately. Your face scrunched up as you tried to put the horrific memories of your mutilated body out of your mind. âIs Oyama okay?âÂ
âHe has a few bruises, nothing major.â
You nodded, relieved for that. If he got hurt after you forced him to take you along, youâd never live it down. After a second, you threw an arm over your face, something like a raspy laugh crackling its way out of your sore chest. âI think I did something extraordinarily stupid.âÂ
âLike using yourself as bait so your fellow sorcerer could exorcize a curse?â Ieiri asked dryly. Â
You opened one eye to look at her. âDid it work?âÂ
âIt did, although you very nearly died for it. The broken ribs were the worst. Youâre lucky they didnât puncture anything vital.âÂ
Hiking up the sheet over your healed chest, you sat up again. Your head spun, but the only pain you felt was phantom, like your brain was unable to reconcile the severe physical trauma with your perfectly healed body.Â
âIt was the strangest thing,â you said. âThe curse was smart enough to know to attack the stronger sorcerer, but I⌠I forced it to focus on me.â You winced, a shiver of soul-deep revulsion slithering down your throat all the way to the pit of your stomach as you remembered what happened after that. Remembering pain after the fact was difficult enough, let alone thinking of the right words to describe the experience.Â
âYou need water,â Ieiri said, pressing a bottle of water into your hand. You eagerly accepted it, uncapping the bottle and chugging the whole thing. She was calm as ever, if tired.Â
Capping the bottle, you cleared your throat again. âI donât suppose I can borrow some clothes?âÂ
She patted a pile of folded clothes on the bedside table with a tired smile. âThey wonât fit, but itâs better than streaking across campus.âÂ
âThank you,â you said, wrapping yourself in the sheet to fully sit up.Â
âIâll give you some privacy,â Ieiri said, turning to leave the room. She paused in the doorway, looking over her shoulder at you. âOh, before I forget, Satoru wants to see you as soon as possible. I doubt he expected you to wake up so quickly, Iâm sure it can wait until morning.âÂ
You frowned, your stomach twisting up at the thought. âWhere do you think heâll be?âÂ
âHeâs probably in his apartment. I doubt heâs asleep, if you wanted to talk to him now.â She snorted, shaking her head. âThat man sleeps less than I do.â
âGot it,â you said. âThanks.âÂ
She hesitated in the doorway, thinking about what she was going to say. âSatoru was very upset when he heard what happened. I know he worries about his students, but this is different.â
âHow so?â you asked, tensing up at the faint insinuation. Â
Ieiri sighed. âIâm not trying to involve myself, youâre free to do what you want. But, speaking as someone who has known Satoru for a while, be careful. I care for him, but his nature doesnât always lend itself to respectable behavior.âÂ
âOkay,â you said flatly, narrowing your eyes at her. You didnât get the sense of any malice or disgust, but the words were obviously pointed.Â
âThatâs all,â Ieiri said with a light shrug, leaving the room and closing the door. You squeezed your eyes shut, wondering what to think about that. You didnât know if you wanted to believe her or not. It was the first time anybody confirmed some of the strange things you felt about the man, but you didnât know if that made it any better.Â
Besides, you hadnât so purposefully baited a reaction just to shy away now.Â
At twelve-twenty-five, you left the clinic. Considering you almost died earlier that day, you didn't feel too terrible. Every muscle in your body was sore and shaky, like you had been training too hard, but you had just slept for nine hours. Even if you laid down, you wouldnât sleep. If Gojo wanted to talk, you would talk. The reasoning behind it was, on the surface, because you wanted to get it over with.Â
There might have been more to your compulsion, but you were too irritable to interrogate your motivation. Â
Before going over, you stopped by your room to exchange Ieiriâs borrowed clothes for a clean shirt, oversized hoodie, fresh panties, and a pair of shorts. While you were there, you took the time to wipe the mascara rings out from under your eyes, swipe on some lip balm, and pull your hair back to mitigate the mess. What you really needed was a full coat of foundation and some dry shampoo, but the idea that you were so desperate to impress him pissed you off even more.
On your way to the faculty apartments on the edge of campus, you thought about the best way to handle this. Gojo would know why you lied and disobeyed him, he wasnât stupid. There wasnât any way you could think of to reframe the narrative either. You did it because you wanted to, and because you were angry about his ruling, and because you thought you could get away with it, and because you felt the need to act out against his authority.Â
You still werenât sure what you were going to say when you stopped in front of his door, knocking before you lost your nerve. Footsteps sounded almost immediately from the other side, and then the door slid open. Gojo stood on the other side. He was dressed down for the night, wearing a casual t-shirt and sweatpants. His hair was messy and eyes uncovered, sparkling in the faint light from the lamps along the path.Â
âOh, youâre awake!â he exclaimed. âI didnât think Iâd see you until tomorrow.âÂ
âYep, Iâm all fixed up,â you said, throwing your arms out as if to present yourself. âIeiri said you wanted to see me.â
âI can wait until youâre better rested,â Gojo said, putting on a dramatic frown.
You sighed, feeling awkward of all things. The whole time, you had been geared up for some sort of confrontation, but he was so calm, behaving just like he always did. Maybe Ieiri had misunderstood his mood.Â
âI donât think I could sleep with this hanging over my head,â you told him. âUnless this is a bad time.âÂ
âNo, itâs fine. Come in,â Gojo said, opening the door wider to usher you through.Â
Despite the traditional exterior, his apartment was decorated in a plain yet clearly expensive style, a marble coffee table and velvet upholstery and understated lighting. What struck you the most was how good it smelled inside. The TV was on, but muted, splashing color and light into the dim room.Â
âDo you want tea?â Gojo offered, shutting the door. âWater? Strawberry milk?âÂ
âIâm okay, thanks,â you said. âIâd rather get this over with.â Â
âGet what over with?â Gojo asked as he walked around you. He wasnât wearing shoes, so you toed yours off, setting them next to his.
âYouâre going to yell at me, arenât you?â you said, maintaining a casual demeanor despite your anxiety.
âI wasnât planning on it,â he said, dropping onto the couch. Those were unmistakably Fendi Pequin stripes on the armrests, the thing must have cost a small fortune and yet he was lounging on it. âDo you want me to?âÂ
âNot especially.â Â
âHow about you sit down,â Gojo offered, patting the spot on the couch beside him. You shuffled from foot to foot, rethinking your decision to come to his place so late at night. It was so far down from all of the other buildings. Even if you screamed, nobody would hear you. But that was stupid. He could have done anything he wanted to do to you in the hotel, and he didnât. You were making things up to justify your discomfort.
You sat down stiffly, more than aware that you were sitting on a piece of furniture that cost as much as your momâs car.Â
Gojo shut off the TV, leaving the two of you in the intimate near dark. It had been muted, but somehow the room felt even more quiet. His attitude was horribly off-putting. Ieiri said he seemed upset, but you werenât getting that at all. If anything, he seemed more relaxed than the last time you saw him.Â
The silence dragged on and on, you had no idea what to do or say. You couldnât bring yourself to meet his eyes, not when they were uncovered and you were alone.Â
Finally, he sighed theatrically. âThis is my own fault,â Gojo said. âIâve always known you had behavioral problems. I thoughtâI hoped that it wouldnât come to this. You could have died.â
âBut I didnât,â you pointed out, keeping your voice steady. âNobody died, the curse got exorcized, and everythingâs fine.âÂ
âIs that your defense for disregarding my authority, lying, and putting yourself and Oyama at risk?âÂ
âItâs not a defense,â you said. âItâs a statement of fact.âÂ
Gojo laughed, a sound that made you flinch away. It wasnât forced, he sounded genuinely amused. âYou are such a pain in the ass,â he said, smiling as if he was endeared by it. âI canât tell if youâre unafraid of the consequences or if you really donât believe youâll face any.âÂ
âI did face consequences,â you argued. âDidnât Ieiri tell you how badly I was injured?â Â
âThatâs not enough, is it? If you have the chance, you'll definitely do something like this again. The danger is a part of the thrill for a girl like you.â He hummed thoughtfully. âNo, I need to take care of the underlying issue.â
âThe underlying issue?â you repeated.
âYou have no respect for authorityâmine or otherwise.âÂ
âI donât know what youâre talking about, sensei. I have the deepest respect for you,â you said, looking up at him with innocently wide eyes. It didnât get the rise you wanted, his expression didnât change. The unrelenting calm and friendly demeanor he maintained was beginning to creep you out.  Â
âNormally, I donât mind. I understand; I canât stand people ordering me around. With you, though, it really irritates me. Maybe I should try a little more discipline.â
âWhat are you going to do, spank me?â you asked, raising a brow. You could hear how desperate your sarcasm sounded, an attempt to regain control over the situation.
Gojoâs head titled as he considered your taunt. âThatâs not a bad idea, actually.âÂ
You rolled your eyes, your hands curling into fists to hide your increasing anxiety. If you could read his feelings, then maybe it wouldnât be so bad, but you couldnât tell how serious he was. âYouâre funny.âÂ
âOh? But that wasnât a joke. I think that might help fix your attitude.âÂ
âSo breaking my ribs wasnât good enough, but that is?â you asked, disguising your fear and dread with more desperate scorn. âCome on, donât be gross.â
âIt was your suggestion.âÂ
âI was joking! I didnât actually⌠I mean, you canât justâŚâ You shook your head rather than try to finish that statement, kicking yourself for getting so flustered.Â
âYou were never punished as a child,â Gojo said. âYou said your dad left? I bet that, after that, your mom grew distant. She yelled at you, but you never faced any serious consequences for your misbehavior. You only got better at hiding your indiscretions. Is that it?âÂ
âThatâs not your business,â you said, every muscle in your body drawing up tight in response to that accusation.Â
âChildren who arenât taught boundaries and respect grow up to be rotten adults,â Gojo said. âSpoiled, rude, self-important adults.â With every word he moved closer.
âYou would know, right?â you said, clinging onto the strength of attempted wit.
Gojo smiled. âOh yes, I know very well. Iâm rotten too. Shoko told you, didnât she? Thatâs why you look so scared right now.â
âIâm not scared,â you said, clenching your jaw.
âThere's been something I've been meaning to tell you for a while,â Gojo said. He put a finger beneath your chin to lift it, forcing you to meet his eyes. âYouâre not as complicated of a woman as you think you are. I know you think youâre better, but in reality youâre playing the same games, just with different rules. All of the posturing to get my attention, the misbehaving, the petty tricks to make me jealousâyou're so obvious.â He let out a relieved breath, smiling. âWhew, Iâm glad I finally got that out.â
âWhat are you even saying?â You asked, pulling away from him, shaking your head fast. âThis is a joke, right?â
âI almost pity you. It isnât entirely your fault. Youâre young, ignorant, and weak, you couldnât possibly have known where this would go. Itâs not in your nature to leave well enough alone.â
âStop it,â you said, your voice harsh.Â
âIâm the same,â Gojo continued as if he hadnât heard you. âItâs not in my nature to spare the weak or ignorant just because I feel bad for them. Iâm not nearly that nice.âÂ
âI know you wonât hurt me.â
âWhy shouldnât I?â he asked. âYou showed up on my doorstep in the middle of the night begging me to punish you. I am a man. Even I have my limits. You've been testing them from the beginning.â
âYou have to stop,â you said, your demand taking on the edge of a whine. âThis is insane.â
âIâll give you one last chance, okay? Prove me wrong. Leave,â Gojo said, backing off and gesturing to the door. âThis is it, this is the last time youâll get away without facing any consequences.âÂ
âGojo, why are you-âÂ
âThree.â
âNnn-no, wait, I-â
âTwo.â
You stood up, swaying on your feet, but you didnât run. You took one step back from him, afraid, but you didnât run.
âOne,â Gojo said, grunting the word as he got to his feet and picked you up, tossing you over his shoulder.
âNo!â you shouted, struggling to escape his grasp as he carried you further into the apartment. âStop it, put me-put me down! Stop, I want to go! Iâll leave! Put me down!â
âI warned you what would happen, itâs not my fault you never listen,â Gojo said, dumping you onto his bed. You bounced once, scrambling to get up and away. âNo, donât move,â he ordered, his voice low and authoritative, freezing you in place. His eyes sparkled inhumanly in the dim light.Â
âI want to go,â you said, softly, your heart racing, pounding harder because you couldnât move. âIâm leaving, Iâm going and-âÂ
âNo, youâre not,â he said, rolling his eyes as he opened a drawer on the nightstand, looking inside with a thoughtful expression. âBy all means, keep up the act. The whole brat thing is pretty hot. Thereâs no point in punishing a girl whoâs well-behaved.â
âWhat are you going to do?â you asked.
âIâm going to spank you for being such a naughty student,â Gojo said. âI donât want to be too cruel, I know youâre sensitive. Thatâs fine. I can be nice too.â He looked up at you. âDo you think you can stay still on your own, orâŚ?â He smirked. âOf course you can't.â
âYouâre scaring me,â you said, hoping the words would break his act.Â
âDonât be afraid,â Gojo told you, rolling his eyes like you were being unreasonable. âI wonât hurt you that much.âÂ
You were going to be sick. âYou canât-â
âOf course I can,â Gojo said, pulling what you recognized as a vibrating wand and a pair of handcuffs from the drawer. âWhat you mean to say is that I shouldn't. Youâre right about that. I'm well aware that this is a bad idea, and I might regret it, but it's too late to let that stop me. You know the feeling, don't you?âÂ
âNo, no. You,â you shook your head, unable to form the words in your shock and disbelief at this situation, âyou canât.âÂ
âYou already said that,â Gojo said, putting the toys on the bed to kneel on the very edge. You flinched away, but you didnât dare run. He would definitely catch you, you could feel the thrill in his cursed energy. It was all a game.Â
âI know,â you said, trying to think of the words to reason with him and coming up short, âbut⌠You canât.â
âThe way youâre looking at me is too good,â he said with a boyish grin. âYou genuinely canât believe that somebody finally called your bluff.â
You shook your head.Â
âI think this will be good for you,â he said. âYou need to learn this lesson. Itâs better to learn it here, in a controlled environment.âÂ
Gojo grabbed your legs before you could scramble away. You yelped, slapping his hands when he grabbed your hips. That did nothing to deter him from flipping you onto your belly and wrestling your hoodie and shirt off before collecting your arms and pulling them behind your back. Even though you were fighting him so hard that it hurt, he was barely trying, as if the process of overpowering you was as inconsequential as putting the leash on a small dog. You cried out as he secured your wrists in the handcuffs, giving them a solid tug to test their hold. They were lined with soft material, but they obviously werenât the fuzzy bachelorette party kind that could be easily escaped. There was no way you could get out of them on your own. You tried to use your cursed energy to break free, but it did nothing. Had he reinforced them somehow? Was that possible?Â
âGojo, stop,â you demanded. âYou canât do this, you canât!â
âItâs humiliating, isnât it?â he asked, pulling your panties and shorts off in one go, getting them over your legs no matter how hard you tried to kick him off. âBeing at the mercy of another person. Next time you think about misbehaving, think about this feeling.â
âStop it!â you yelled, truly thrashing now. He grunted, sitting with his legs aside your torso, threatening to crush you. âStop, get off. Youâre hurting me!âÂ
âItâs okay if you fight,â Gojo said. âBut you know it doesnât matter, donât you? Youâre so weak.â
âStop it! Justângh-â He shoved your panties into your mouth before you could finish that thought, muffling the words. You just yelled in disgust, in despair, in anger. And it didnât matter.
Gojo leaned over you, brushing your hair away from your ear to speak directly into it.
âIâm sure youâre having a difficult time thinking clearly, but itâs important you remember what Iâm about to tell you,â he said. âThe next time I allow you to speak, I expect you to address me properly. I really donât think thatâs too unfair. I am your teacher, I deserve some respect, don't you agree?â
You shouted through the gag, shaking your head back and forth.Â
Gojo hummed, dropping his shirt on the bed next to you. He lifted his weight from your back and turned around to sit on the edge of the bed. You used the opportunity to roll onto your side, trying to get away from him, but Gojo had no problem collecting you, letting you flop on the bed across his lap while you writhed helplessly. The first touch of his hand against the back of your bare thighs made you jump, tears of humiliation already pressing against the corners of your eyes.
âHow many, do you think?â he asked.
No.
There was no way. You shouted in panic, kicking your legs. There was still a part of you that simply rejected this all, that couldnât believe this would happen. Things like this didnât happen to you. Not you. Â
Gojoâs palm landed loudly against your ass, the smack striking your skin with a burst of stinging pain and the sickening flush of humiliation. Â
âI knew you were going to be a problem from the first time we met,â he told you, rubbing his palm over the sore spot. âYou think youâre better than everyone else. I canât stand undeserved self-importance.â
He spanked you five times in quick succession, spreading them out across your ass and upper thighs. You struggled and yelled and kicked, but his other hand easily kept you in place.Â
âYouâre not fighting very hard. I really thought it would be harder. Are you sure you werenât secretly hoping Iâd do this? You can admit it, I wonât tell anyone.â
You shouted, pooling up all over your cursed energy to fight him off. Gojo rewarded you by spanking you more, focusing on your upper thighs, slapping the same spots over and over until your shouting became sobbing and the skin buzzed, burning red hot.Â
âI know, that wasnât very nice,â he said, rubbing the sore flesh, coaxing it out of becoming too numb to his touch. âYouâre not very nice either, are you? Wearing all those cute little outfits to tempt me, flaunting that guy to make me jealous.â You yelled in fear when he raised his hand, but he only playfully tapped your ass, digging his long fingers in to knead it, just playing with you. âAnd then using your friend to taunt me⌠I think you deserve to be punished for that, donât you?âÂ
You shook your head frantically, squirming and writhing and kicking to escape. But he spanked you again, and again, and all you could do was endure the pain. Gojo mixed in the playful swats with genuine strikes, keeping you crying, always on the edge, unsure if he was going to hurt you or not, not when he was going to stop or where this would go.Â
You werenât counting, and you werenât sure if he was either, but eventually he let up.
âMmm, that looks like it hurts,â he said, tracing the tender flesh with his fingertips. You cried, glad he couldnât see your face. âPoor little thing. Okay, letâs-â Gojo flipped you around, pulling you up onto his lap.Â
Putting any amount of pressure on your stinging ass made you yelp, your back arching. He didnât care. He grabbed the vibrator and flicked it on, pushing the head past your pussyâs outer lips to buzz against your entrance before dragging up, drawing slick circles around your clit. You thrashed against him, but your kicking legs couldnât do anything and there was nowhere to go. Gojo moved with your struggling in an indulgent way, like he was wrangling a disobedient animal, letting you tire yourself out as he tilted the wand this way and that to really grind it against your clit.
âItâs a little intense, I know,â he said. âIf you just relax and let yourself enjoy it, youâll feel so much better.â
You pressed your face against his shoulder, telling him to stop. The words were all mush, muffled by your own panties. Every part of your body was alive and awake and agonizingly sensitive, covered in a thin film of sweat and goose-flesh and anticipation. When he casually toyed with one of your nipples, you felt it like a jolt of electric heat straight down between your legs. The vibratorâs steady hum bypassed any reasonable objection your body would have to pleasure, a reaction as invasive and involuntary as pain.Â
When you realized you were going to comeâgoing to come like thisâyou shouted, straining your shoulders in an attempt to escape the cuffs. Gojo laughed, holding you tight as you spasmed and jerked around in his lap. Your hips bucked and the vibrator pressed against your clit just right and you almost blacked out.
âAha, thatâs it, isnât it?â Gojo asked happily, grinding the vibrator there.Â
Toomuchtoomuchtoomuchtoomuchâit hurt. You tried to tell him that, you tried to fight your way out of his grasp, you tried to do anything you could to escape but it didnât matter as your body shuddered with the orgasmic flash of pleasure, a feeling so intense it felt like nausea.Â
You came with a helpless cry, hiding your face against his shoulder as you jerked with each wave of stifling, intoxicating, sickening heat.
Gojo didnât stop. You reared back to meet his eye and he just grinned, looking down between your legs to make sure he was keeping the vibrator in exactly the right place to make you spasm and kick and choke, panicked and overwhelmed.Â
You didnât know if you were coming again or if it was just one long string of overstimulation tricking your mind into pleasure, but you felt it draw out like soda fizz all the way to your fingertips and toes.
âOkay, what have you learned so far?â Gojo asked, shutting the vibrator off and setting it aside. You mumbled something into the gag, tossing your head back and forth. âOh, right.â He laughed, pulling your panties out of your mouth. âWhat have you learned?â Â
âStop!â you told him in a wrecked voice, glaring at him with watery eyes. âIt doesnât matter how many times you spank me, or-or⌠Iâm not playing along with your-your sick games, Iâm notâŚâ You closed your eyes, struggling to get out of his lap, sobbing and panting and angry and humiliated and-Â
âWrong.â Gojo shoved your panties back into your mouth. âYou know what? Iâm glad youâre a difficult student. Really,â he said. âItâll be so much more rewarding when you finally learn your lesson.â
You ignored him, squeezing your eyes shut and turning your face away.Â
âIt doesnât matter what I do to you,â he mused. âThatâs what you said, right?âÂ
Without warning, Gojoâs hand landed directly between your legs with a sharp smack. You screamed, really screamed, squeezing your thighs together until the muscles trembled.Â
âOi, open your legs,â Gojo told you, his voice low and serious, more than you had ever heard.
You kept your eyes shut, shaking your head fast.Â
âYouâre saying you wonât?â he asked, his fingers tracing along the seam between your legs.Â
You shook your head again, trying to squirm out of his lap.Â
âOh my, what a brave girl,â Gojo cooed mockingly, grabbing one of your legs to pry them apart, catching it with his own leg and pinning it against the bed. He spanked your pussy two, three, four more times, each one making your body jolt violently, another cry gurgling out of your throat.Â
When his hand landed with a sickening smack for the fifth time, it stayed there, his fingers curling to find your entrance. You bucked against him, shouting for him to stop. Asking him to stop. The words were muffled, there was nothing you could do other than cry and toss your head to the side as he pushed his fingers into you, you couldnât even close your legs.
âWhatâs this?â Gojo asked, pulling his fingers out of you. They glistened with evidence of your arousal, of your shame. âIt really makes me question which one of us is sick.â
âYou!â you shouted, trying to make yourself heard over the gag.Â
âMe?â Gojo asked, his eyes wide with innocence. âYouâre the one whoâs getting wet for your teacher. Thatâs pretty twisted.âÂ
He pushed his fingers back into your pussy, driving them deep and curling them on the way out. For the first time, his breathing was getting unsteady. He kept rolling his hips up to grind against your ass, letting you feel his erection.Â
âAaah, youâre really wet. And tight.â He thrust his fingers back into you with a wet squish, scissoring and curling them to make you spasm and shake. âHey, hey, Iâm gonna give you an out right now, okay?â Gojo said, his voice quick with excitement. âIf you ask me nicely, we can suspend your punishment and get on to the fun stuff instead.â
He pulled his fingers out to take your panties out of your mouth, dropping them onto the bed.Â
âCome on,â Gojo said. âAsk me. I know you want it.âÂ
You set your jaw, glaring at him through teary eyes. It was weak, pathetic, and petty, but silence was the only thing you could think to do that wasnât giving him what he wanted.Â
He frowned, put out with your response.Â
âJeez, youâre such an insufferable brat!â Gojo complained, flipping you onto your stomach. The sudden slap of skin meeting skin followed by the pain when he spanked you again made you scream, your legs pathetically kicking, your shoulders straining to free your hands.
âStop!â you yelled, your voice shrill.
âOh? But I thought you were being brave?â He said mockingly, spanking you again, and again.Â
You sobbed, pressing your face into the bed to muffle yourself as his hand came down again. Even though you fought him, there was nothing you could do to make him stop. True helplessness. It hurt, and there was no escape from it. Not when he took the time to brush his fingers across the tortured skin in between bursts, soothing you with a gentle touch.Â
âI donât understand why youâre being such a baby about this,â Gojo said. He grabbed one of your stinging ass cheeks, pulling it to get a good look at your pussy. You knew you were wet. It wasnât your fault, but you felt the same shame. âIt canât hurt that bad. If I used a cane or a belt or something Iâd get it, but I think youâre just making a big deal to try and make me feel bad. Itâs not working. You deserve this and, between you and me, itâs kind of sexy to see you so pathetic.â
Without warning, Gojo tossed you onto the bed face up, your arms pinned uncomfortably beneath your back. Your back arched and you dug your heels into the mattress, pushing yourself up the bed until you were curled against the headboard, your legs up to try and hide as much of your body as possible.Â
âBy the way, are you a virgin?â Gojo asked, shoving his pants and underwear off in one go before looking for something on the floor. He found it quickly, returning to the bed. He didnât care about his nudity. Why should he? He was beautiful and he knew it. Of course Satoru Gojo wouldnât stop at being the strongest, or the most handsome, or whatever, of course he would have the perfect cock too. âI donât care either way, Iâm just curious.â
âNo,â you whispered, shaking your head, averting your eyes from his body to meet his as you pushed yourself into the headboard. They glittered in the dim light, wide and excited. Â
âNo, youâre not a virgin?â Gojo asked. You realized what he had grabbed from the floor when he caught your ankle, forcing your foot through a loop heâd made with his belt.Â
âNo! No, no, stop!â You shouted, trying to keep him from getting your other foot. He frowned when you kicked at him, desperate to keep him away. The resistance of his cursed energy kept you from actually kicking him, and you were rewarded with a hard, mean slap against your inner thigh. You squealed, giving him the chance to get your other foot in the belt cuffs before securing them.
âI was gonna be nice about this, but I guess not,â he said. You whined, sobbing. âYou probably like it rough anyway, right? Girls like you always do.âÂ
He pushed your knees up to make space between your legs, letting your bound ankles fall onto his back. You watched him stroking his cock. This was going to happen. He truly intended to fuck you. It didnât set in until right in that moment how utterly powerless you were to this violation. His fingers had been one thing, but his cock was big enough to hurt if he wasnât gentle.
âDonât do this,â you whispered, your voice weak and pathetic. âSatoru, Iâm begging you not to. Iâm sorry, okay? Thatâs what you want me to say, right? Iâm sorry, so donât-â
âItâs too late for that,â Gojo said, separating your pussyâs outer lips, his tongue peeking out as he lined up his cock. You made a helpless sound of upset, trying to buck him off, but there was nowhere for you to go. âIf you were really sorry, you should have apologized when I gave you the chance.â He pushed his hips forward, just a little, testing the resistance.Â
âSensei!â you said, your panicked thoughts finding something to cling onto to make him stop. âSensei, please stop. Please.âÂ
Gojo smiled, his lips parting when he forced the head of his cock past the initial resistance of your pussy with a jarring pop. He groaned, both of his hands holding onto your waist while he shallowly rocked his hips.Â
Your mouth fell open, a sensation like shock striking against the viscerally real weight of his dick inside of you. That fell away to panic when he began to move, pushing a little deeper with a pinching ache.Â
âAhâfff-take it out!â you squealed.
âAh, and you were being so good for me,â he said, jolting your body with a hard, mean thrust. You whimpered, and writhed, and your pussy clamped down around him to try and force him out, but it didnât matter. He was bigger and stronger and you were drenched from the vibrator. âLook at me.âÂ
As soon as you met his eye, he pushed a little deeper, clearly reveling in the way it made your expression twist in pain and betrayal, more tears forming in your eyes and streaking down your temples. He licked his lips, rolling his hips shallowly to let you adjust to the size and weight of his cock. Like he was being nice.Â
âHow can I feel bad when you look at me like that?â he asked, his voice lower and breathy. He pushed deeper again, your body jolting and a helpless sound punched out of your chest.Â
âIt hurts,â you ground out through your teeth, more tears falling into your hair. The desire to be brave faded in direct relation to how much of his cock was inside of you. Being spanked was one thing, but the internal pain of violation wasnât something you could handle. It was too intimate, too profound, too cruel. Â
âYeah, youâre way too tight. That guy clearly hasnât been fucking you properly. Do you want your sensei to make it better? Iâll help you, all you have to do is ask.â
You squeezed your eyes shut, weighing your options. Option. âPlease, sensei,â you said, hating yourself a little more.
âLook at me when youâre begging,â Gojo said.Â
You winced, but the sudden snap of his hips made you relent. You met his dangerous, beautiful eyes. âPlease, Gojo-sensei. It hurts, please make it better.âÂ
âAw, youâre such a good girl,â he cooed, grabbing your cheeks. âOf course Iâll help you.â His hand lowered to pin you down by the neck while he fumbled in the sheets beside you with the other. You heard the vibrator turn on a second before it was against your clit. There wasnât anywhere for your body to go when you seized up, your back snapping into a nearly painful arch.Â
âNo!â you yelped, but it was hard to get anything out from the obstruction of his hand on your neck.Â
It didnât matter that his cock was big enough to hurt as he continued to push it into you. It didnât matter that your shoulders burned or that your hands were numb.Â
âGo ahead and come,â Gojo told you sweetly. âThatâs what you want, isnât it? Itâll make this easier.â
You grit your teeth, breathing out hard through your nose, trembling as that little bubble burst, your pussy spasming around his cock as he began to set a steady pace. When his hips met your ass, slapping against the raw skin, you cried and yelled, but it all got lost in the confused haze of pleasure and pain and confusion and disgust and so much, too much. Â
Gojo was laughing. Fucking you too fast and too hard, focusing the vibrator right against your clit to keep you moving with him, your body writhing beneath his like you wanted it, soaking his cock until the room was filled with the profane sound of skin slapping and wet squelching.
âMmm, it feels good, right?â Gojo asked. âI know you think Iâm mean, but I really only want to take care of you.â
You came again, babbling the words ânoâ and âcanâtâ and âstopâ as if they had any meaning anymore, as if you werenât well on your way to coming again despite how torturous the excess of stimulation had become.Â
âSometimes, that means I have to be a little hard on you.â He fucked you hard enough to knock your head into the headboard, the entire thing pounding against the wall with each solid thrust. It hurt, it felt like he was splitting you apart, slamming against your cervix without even an attempt at kindness. But, at the same time, he turned the vibrator up a setting, rubbing little circles onto your clit.Â
Gojo put a hand on your mouth to stifle your scream, it was that loud and shrill, borderline feral with the terrifying intensity of your orgasm. You didnât want to come anymore. You really didnât, you felt like you were going to die if you did. And he laughed, giving up on the hard pace to fuck you fast, his breathing becoming increasingly unsteady and his laugh shivering out into moans.
Sobbing into his hand, you came again, unable to understand anything beyond the cock pounding into you and the vibrator torturing your clit.Â
Gojo dropped the vibrator suddenly, pulling out of you with a helpless sound. For a second, you heard the lewd schlick schlick schlick of his hand desperately fisting his cock and then you felt hot spurts of cum on your chest and your stomach. He finally took his hand off of your mouth, turning the vibrator off. All you could hear was your breathing and his breathing and the frantic pounding of blood in your ears.Â
âWhew, okay,â Gojo said, lifting your legs to get out from under them. âWhere were we with the lesson? I think⌠I was spanking you and you were being a brat about it. Have you had a change of heart?âÂ
You sobbed brokenly, squeezing your eyes shut. Trying to adjust to the shift of tone while you were still reeling from getting fucked, your torso covered in sweat and cum, felt like one of the most cruel things he had done so far.Â
âPlease, sensei, please no more,â you begged, your voice breathy and cracking at the end. âGojo-sensei please, I-I do, I respect you. Iâllâanything, please justâŚâÂ
âAhh, thereâs a good girl. Finally,â Gojo said gently. âOkay, three more, and then Iâll forgive you.â
âNo!â you cried hoarsely. âPlease, no more.â You strained against the cuffs, thrashing as much as you were able. âPlease, Iâll do⌠Please.â
âI need to make sure the lesson sticks,â Gojo said sweetly. âYouâve been so unreceptive. Three more, and then Iâll let you come again.â
âNo!â you squealed, even more upset by that. The idea of feeling the vibrator again physically hurt, it was almost worse than the idea of him spanking you again.Â
âI want you to count them, okay?â Gojo asked pitilessly. Â
You sobbed, shaking your head, but you couldnât do anything when he rolled you onto your belly.Â
âDonât be so dramatic about it,â he scolded, getting behind you and pulling your hips up so you were on your knees, your back arching. He spanked you and you yelped, burying your face in the pillows. Gojo waited before sighing. âCount them, otherwise Iâll lose track. You wouldnât want that, would you? Weâd be here all night.âÂ
You sniffled, peeling your face out of the pillows to turn your head. âOne,â you whispered.
His hand landed again, right over the first. You cried out a word that mostly sounded like, âTwo!âÂ
And again, one of the hardest so far. âThre-EE-â
âThere, wasnât that easy?â Gojo cooed, flipping you around and grabbing your ankles by the belt cuffs, pushing your knees up to your chest. When you heard the vibrator turn on, you tried to get away, squealing out your objections, sobbing and desperate and flinching away from the mere idea of more. It was like being presented with a bottle of liquor after a bout of alcohol poisoning.Â
âNo, please no more, I canât, please.â
âI told you, one more,â Gojo said. âYou can do one more, canât you? I think you can.âÂ
You wailed when he pushed the vibrator against your swollen, oversensitive pussy, grinding it in little circles right over your clit while you spasmed and shook and tried desperately to escape the inevitable.
Coming when you were so overstimulated wasnât pleasant, it was just more and more and too much, all of it piled onto your overloaded nervous system and making you shake as the pitiless heat flared up to bursting, pulling your body taut, and then it snapped, leaving you even more helplessly, hopelessly overstimulated than before.Â
Gojo didnât pull it away, continuing to grind the vibrator against your clit, cruelly drawing out your feverish torment.Â
You wailed, your head tossing back into the pillows, your hips wildly trying to twist out of his reach. âYoâou said-â
âOne more,â Gojo finished for you. âCome on, donât be such a baby about it.âÂ
Your nostrils flared and you sobbed pathetically and your pussy felt like it was burning just as desperately as your sore ass, but Gojo was going to wring one more orgasm out of you. It wasnât hard, even if it hurt. Even if you cried and shook and felt the world darken around the edges when you felt the surge of pleasure fizzle out through you before it left you pained and panting and miserable.Â
But he finally shut the toy off, letting it fall to the side. Â
âWhat do we say?â Gojo asked, dropping your legs and falling onto his side next to you, propping his head up with one hand.Â
You groaned, your chest hitching with every breath. âI donâtâŚâÂ
âThank you, sensei,â he prompted sweetly, âfor teaching me manners.âÂ
âThank you, sensei,â you repeated dumbly, keeping your eyes closed rather than acknowledge his heavy stare. âThank you for teaching me manners.âÂ
He laughed. âWow, thatâs really embarrassing. Earlier you were bragging about how it didnât matter what I did to you, werenât you? I was almost impressed with your resolve, itâs a shame to see it cave in so easily. What happened?â
You sobbed, shaking your head. âShut up, youâre⌠It wasnât my fault, it was you who⌠whoâŚâ
Gojo hissed, pulling a breath in through his teeth. It was a bad sound. A dangerous sound. âWhat was that?â
âNothing,â you said, your eyes snapping open with fear. âIâm sorry, IâmâŚâ
He frowned. âMaybe you havenât learned your lesson after all,â he heaved out a big breath, sitting up. âThatâs fine, Iâm ready to go again. Anything for my favorite student, hm?âÂ
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cinnamon sugar đ k.sm (m)
a/n: the photo above is from seungmin's instagram. i don't own the media, but i sure was blessed to see it. anyway, i think this is my first post with like...actual smut in it. please forgive me, because it is so shitty, i'm so bad at writing it. anyway, uhm, enjoy! my anon ask is now on, if you'd like to send any requests in!
synopsis: her lips taste sweet, like cinnamon sugar...she's such a treat.
genre: best friends to lovers | idiots in love | x fem!reader | smut | fluff | angst
pairing(s): best friend!kim seungmin x virgin!reader
word count: 6k. lowercase intended.
rating: 18+. minors do not fucking interact.
warning(s): swearing, mutual pining, a lot of emotional turmoil from both parties, horribly written smut [between k.sm x reader: unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!!!!), creampie, soft d/s themes, (slight) overuse of pet names (angel, sweetheart) oral (f. receiving), paragraphs of praise, so much kissing, some grinding, the lightest amount of nipple play. riding/missionary, crying during sex, multiple orgasms, reader begs a lot, they stare into each others eyes and hold hands while fucking oh my god]. this is slightly self indulgent but the guilt i feel after writing it, and so badly at that, is overwhelming.
what to listen to: gaze - sweetback | eat it - megan thee stallion | agora hills - doja cat | real love - mary j. blige | whatta man - salt-n-pepa & en vogue
message from: seungminđ§¸đ¤
[7:32pm] iâm coming to pick u up, i want a cinnabon.
message to: seungminđ§¸đ¤
[7:33pm] ur paying đ¤
"can i get aux?" you say as you slide into seungmin's car. the leather of the passenger seat was cool to the touch, a sign that nobody had sat in your self-assigned seat. "hello to you too, best friend. how was my day? oh, it was lovely! it's so nice to see you, too!"
"oh, shut up, min. you don't give a shit if i ask those questions or not." you chuckle, snatching his aux cable out of the center console. "you know me so well, fuck. i hate small talk. just merge souls with me."
you and seungmin had been best friends for over ten years. he knew you inside and out - from your scalp to the bottom of your feet (including the scar from his razor scooter slamming into your ankle at age sixteen.)
you shared a lot of interests, but none as intense as your love of music and cinnamon rolls. he was always at your dance recitals. your biggest fan, really. he cheered, but never showed you more praise than necessary.
"i need you to stay humble, it helps me tolerate you." he murmured into your hair after one recital last year. you just shook your head in amusement, holding it high as you let him march you to his car for dinner.
"oh, i updated our playlist! i have a few new things on here." you said excitedly as you scrolled through the playlists on your homepage. you shared this love language â you had dozens of collaborative playlists with user ksm922, and you giggled at the ugly photos of the two of you he often used for the covers.
"sure." he shrugs, using his pinky to turn the volume dial up. your eyes trail on his slender fingers as they return to the wheel, but you shake it off just as quickly. pressing play, you let the smooth r&b sounds fill the car.
"oh, this is nice. what is this?" seungmin nods his head along to it, and you glance at the screen. "gaze by sweetback. it played on my sade station, and the vibes are just so kim seungmin, yanno?" you close your eyes and fake being a disc-jockey, his hand coming to pinch your arm lightly, a chuckle playing on his lips. "stop that, you'd be a horrible deejay."
"are you sure this isn't about sex? geez, bub, act like you get some." he teases, and you swat his arm. "i do get some!"
"oh yeah? from who?" his eyes are trained on the road as he bullies you about your sex life (or lack thereof), allowing you a moment to stare at his ringed fingers. oh, the way they gripped the wheel, they could so easily grip your neckâ
shut up, y/n.
"your mom." you huff, crossing your arms with a pout. you hated this conversation, and you often avoided it with him. yes, seungmin was your best friend, but you never wanted to talk about your sex life with him. he had experiencesâŚand you heard from so many people how good it was.
with him, to be specific.
"what are we, thirteen? you wish my mother would breathe in your direction, you fucking virgin." he scoffs, and you force a snicker out. you glance at your phone, a smirk threatening to escape as it started. "oh, this one is good. turn it up!"
he obliged, not even giving the screen a second look.
you settle in your seat as megan thee stallion's voice blares through the speakers, muffling a soft laugh behind your hand. seungmin hated the idea of you being a sexual being, and you often used it to bother him. you liked seeing him get red in the face, and squirm. it doesn't mean you understood it, but it was hilarious.
legs shakin', hit it 'til the bed breakingâŚbed springing, talk to itâŚ
seungmin's mouth is agape, his cheeks firetruck redâŚ
i don't want just one nut, daddy, i need the whole tree, ahâŚ
âŚbefore his nimble fingers press skip.Â
"are you serious, y/n? in my christian minecraft server?" his eyes are still fixed on the road, his knuckles turning white from his hold on the steering wheel. weird.
"it's megan! i love her, she's the hot girl coach. you don't want me to be a virgin forever, do you?" you joke, and he scrunches his nose. "since when do you listen to music about getting yourâŚugh, whatever. don't ever bring up sex appeal, you repulse me."
you laugh loudly, your hand going to pinch his cheek softly. "you're so cute when you get flustered, min. here, i'll play pretty boy by the neighbourhood in your honor."
he can't stop thinking about it. it's been four hours since you played the song in the car, and it's still stuck in his head. well, what he did hear.
you, inherently, did not come across as a sexual being. you didn't, and that wasn't seungmin being just a platonic, nice friend â you genuinely did not care to be the core of anyone's sexual desire. you wore oversized shirts and loose jeans, the occasional dress paired with black pantyhose and boots. "gotta hide my ankles, minnie. that's how they getcha."
but thinking about youâŚlistening to that song? your hips winding down on some other man like he's seen you do on stage? hell, some other man's face when he's right here?
it made him sick.
and you were so beautifully unaware as you swirled your fork in your cinnamon roll, bringing the tines to your lips and sucking the icing clean off them. not a second lick or adjustment, just straight off. he felt his cheeks heat as his cock twitched in his pants, and he almost missed you waving your fingers in his face. "yo, you good? you seem distracted."
you have a bit of icing on your lip, and he subconsciously reaches over to wipe it off. your eyes are wide as he does so, and he doesn't know why he can't move his thumb from your lip. he doesn't know why everything feels like it's moving in slow motion, and he just watches as you instinctively suck your lip between your teeth at the loss of contact.
you're so pretty, fuck, you're so pretty.
"i'm good. do you want to go?" he's surprised to hear his own voice, and you nod absently. he was acting weird, he knew he was, but he feels like there's a fog in his brain that he can't shake. maybe it was the way he'd memorized every curve of your body, from watching your fluid dances. maybe it was the way that you smiled so innocently, you were so innocent. your eyes big and pure, your heart full, your mindâŚnaĂŻve.
he didn't understand the sudden urge to ruin you, but he knew he had to get over it, and fast.
"fuck." he groans, and your head whips around to look at him. "you okay?"
he nods quickly, his hand landing on the small of your back to guide you to the car faster. "min, if you have to shit, you can just say that."
"ugh, shut up. you always say the most unhinged shit. no wonder you can't get laid." he rolls his eyes, and you just laugh. "trust me, it's not for lack of opportunity." you let him open the door for you, and you wink at him playfully, his fingers flicking your forehead before shutting the door.
it was true, multiple of your friends had offered toâŚdeflower you. hyunjin, on your dance team. minho, on your production team. felix, your choreographer. even their friends in the music department had offered, and you simply smiled, shaking your head at them. "i just like to flirt, your dick is your problem."
but much like seungmin, they had all seen the way you moved. how easily you sunk to your knees, how smooth your gyrations were, the way you looked like you enjoyed it. you felt good knowing people were attracted to you, but it never compared to what you believed was seungmin's innocent gaze.
it was weird to want more from him, and it pained you, slightly. he was cute, your best friend. cute, experienced, and he knew you. he knew you so well, what could go wrong?
he could reject you, that's what.
you're in your own head when you realize the car has been moving, and rather fast, at that. "min, seriously. are you shitting your pants?" you roll your eyes, and he brings the car to a screeching halt. "bro, your brakes." you cringe, covering your ears as he pulls into his driveway.
"are you going to kill me? no way, jisung always said i'd go out this way. please, tell my mother i love her and make sure i get the best spot in heaven." you feign terror as you unbuckle your seatbelt, not noticing the way seungmin can't even look at you. you feel how hard he slams his door, and you give his car a pitiful look as you slide out, following him to his apartment. he lived on the first floor, what a privilege.
he doesn't look at you as he walks into the apartment, tossing his keys onto the kitchen table. "y/n, i have a question."
"oh? mr. attitude has a question, does he?" you smile sarcastically, crossing your arms over your chest, the cowhide leather of the letterman you stole from him in high school rough against your skin. "alright, let's hear it."
"why are you still a virgin?" okay, not what you were expecting. don't let it fluster you. you don't really notice his hardened expression as you try to answer. "wellâŚit's just not on my list of priorities. i'll get fucked when i get fucked, you know?"
you shrug, not thinking much of your answer as he steps closer. "hm, i don't buy it."
raising an eyebrow, you shake your head, unbuttoning the jacket. "you're acting so weird, seungmin. if you wanna fuck me, just say that."
you sound surprisingly confident, and you can feel your heart pounding in your ears as you slide the jacket off, draping it over the couch. you gather your hair forward, spinning to speak to him again. "did you still want to watch the mov-"
you're cut off by his lips pressing against yours, his hands gripping your hips, pulling you closer. you can't move, your hands frozen as he works you carefully, lips burning against your own. his movements feel desperate, and you let your body take over as you kiss him back, a soft sigh escaping his lips as your tongue slips between them. the kiss is hungry, his hands are digging into you so deeply you're sure you'll bruise.Â
he stops. his fingers let go of your hips, and he pulls away, your lips chasing after his as he does. your lip gloss is glittering on his face, before he covers his eyes. "i'm so sorry, y/n. i have no idea what came over me, iâŚi'm sorry, please, let me take you home."
you can't speak, your mind still swirling with endorphins. your best friend of ten years just made the biggest move on you, and without a word, you managed to fumble it. no way. absolutely not.
"sorry for what? i'm not understanding." you suddenly feel very vulnerable, your skin littering with goosebumps at the sudden change in the air. "i'm perfectly fine withâŚwhatever you were doing."
seungmin peers back at you through dark eyes. "no, y/n. we can't." he swipes his keys off the table, and you huff. "and why can't we, seungmin? what is so bad about kissing me?"
his eyes are wide as you ramble, and it's all word vomit. you can't seem to stop it, but he's drinking every word.
"what is it? am i a bad kisser? is it because i'm a virgin? i don't think it's very fair that you can openly admit to being other girls' firsts but you can't even do that for me. you haven't even offered. i'm not saying you fucking have to, because you're my best friend and you always will be. but holy fuck, seungmin, i'm trying to get some. you said i should, so why not be the one i get it from?"Â
you're out of breath, and seungmin just shakes his head as he takes one, two steps back in front of you. "you think i don't want to be your first? you think i don't want you all to myself, to ruin you for anyone else? you think i don't want to fuck you stupid, until all you know is my name? are you hearing yourself right now?"
"you're certainly not acting like it. it doesn't have to mean shit, seungmin. it's just sex." you roll your eyes, leaning on the couch. "it's not just sex, y/n. this is a huge step for you, for us. our friendship is on the line, and i don't want to do something you might regret later."
you shake your head, and he hates when you get stubborn like this, you won't listen to reason. "still not seeing the issue here. i lose my virginity and gain some experience for the next guy, you get your dick wet. we go to bed, and we act like it didn't happen in the morning. you take me home, we listen to our playlists on the way there, and we go about our days."
he flings his keys onto the floor, his hands reaching to hold your face. he tucks a few strands behind your ears, fingers lovingly caressing your pierced lobes before he looks you dead in the eyes. "y/n, if i give you what you want tonight, there is no chance in hell you're going to fuck someone else."
you stare back at him silently, your eyes darting to his lips before your tongue peeks out to wet your own. it's not the worst thing in the world, being with seungmin. it could be goodâŚand not just the sex. he knows you, you know himâŚhis lips felt like they were made for you. they always had, since your drunken kiss on christmas eve.
"you say that like it's a threat." you challenge, and he bites back a smile, nodding his head. his hand has traveled to your hip, his other still holding your face when his nose touches yours, his breath hitting your lips. "if you want me to stop at any point, just let me know. understand, sweetheart?"
you nod, leaning forward to connect your lips. he pulls back, shaking his head. "i need to hear you say you understand."
"jeez, seungmin, i understand. i get it, can we please move this along?" you're not the least bit embarrassed as you whine against him, and he lets you kiss him. your lips are eager, your hands carding through his hair as he licks into your mouth. the kiss is all teeth and tongue, a soft moan interrupting it as he gives your clothed breast a gentle squeeze, his thumb working over your pebbled nipple. "min, iâŚ"
"what, tell me what you want, sweetheart." his lips trail down your jaw, nipping along your exposed neck carefully. your whines are like heaven to him, "n-need you.."
"aw, you need me? need me where?" he's loving this, the way you squirm under his lips, under his nimble fingers. you push your chest into him involuntarily, "h-here. please?"
you grab his wrist, a wave of confidence taking over as you guide his hand under the waistband of your sweatpants. his fingers are cool against your clothed heat, a soft wet patch forming on the fabric. his eyes are wide as he instinctively lets his hand run over the spot, watching as you flinch, lip caught between your teeth. he presses hard against you, a gasp falling from your mouth. "i haven't even touched you, and look at how wet you are for me. a little pathetic, hm?"
"'mâ yours, minnie. always, always been yours." you donât mean that, he thinks. he's letting you grind against his hand, his gaze transfixed on your face. your brows furrowed, eyes screwed shut as you used his hand to get yourself to the edge. his cock twitches at the little pants falling from your lips, when he decides he's had enough. you nearly cry at the loss of contact, his hand escaping the confines of your plush thighs. "minnie-"
"if you're gonna cum, it's gonna be on my face. let's go, sweetheart." he tugs you towards his bedroom, your legs weak as you try not to stumble behind him. "bed. on your back."
he's pulling his sweater over his head, and you nearly coo at his messy hair in your fucked out state. he feels a flush coat his cheeks as you lay there, waiting for him to tug your pants off. hooking his fingers in your waistband, you lift your hips to make it easier, and he slides your underwear and sweatpants off in one go. you suddenly feel shy, closing your legs.Â
"ah, ah. it's just me, sweetheart. do you want to stop?" his hands move to your knees, the cool metal of his rings sending a soft shock to your spine. "no, i'mâŚokay. i'm just nervous."
"it's okay, angel. i got you, don't worry." he presses a kiss to your forehead, noseâŚlips. he lingers there a bit, but doesn't let it deepen as he runs his hands down your legs. his fingers dig into your thighs, pulling them apart for him to settle between. you're soaking, the heat of his stare making anxiety bubble in your stomach. "fuck, you're going to be the death of me."
his lips press soft, chaste kisses along your inner thigh, nipping carefully as you mewl. "minnie, please..i..pleaseâŚ" you end in a whimper, and who is he to deny you when you beg so nicely? he buries his nose in your pussy, bumping your clit as he lets his tongue drag through your folds, collecting your sweet, sweet arousal on his face. your hand flies to his hair as his lips suck on your clit, thighs threatening to close around his head. he doesn't care, he'd die a happy man right there between your legs.
"f-fuck, seungmin, ah! right there, holy f-fuh.." you're shaking around his head, bucking your hips into his face as gently as you can muster. he loves it, but he can't tell you that as he drowns in the scent of you, the obscene sounds of his tongue against you paired with your pretty whimpers ensuring he'd probably cum in his pants. "oh, b-baby i'm gonna.."
his hand reaches for yours, interlacing your trembling fingers with his, his other hand massaging your thigh in encouragement. he can barely bring himself to talk, a soft moan of his against your clit sending you over the edge, a soft cry of his name echoing in the room. "that's it, good job angel. you did so well for me, hm?" he's still lapping at you, not wanting to miss a single shiver or whimper from your body. "s'always that good? min?"
he peers up at you from his spot between your legs, your lips parted as you blink, a tear rolling down the side of your face. he moves up to wipe it away, but you take his hand in yours, kissing his palm softly. "you okay? we can stop." he presses his forehead against yours, not able to process your cute gesture without wanting to bawl. you nod, a lazy smile crossing your lips as you reach to kiss him. "m'all good, minnie. do youâŚwant me to help you?"
you can feel his clothed cock pressing against your leg, practically begging to be set free, and you teasingly buck up against it. he inhales sharply, shaking his head, "i want tonight to be about you. i want to make sure you feel good, okay? are you sure you want to continue?"
"yeah, m'all yours." you sigh against his lips, a chaste kiss from you to him. "can i take this off, sweetheart?" he yanks lightly on your shirt, and you nod. you help him tug it over your head, your fingers reaching backwards to unclasp your bra. he feels like all the air is sucked out of the room as you lay beneath him, for him, in all your glory. every curve he's imagined just as gorgeous. "you're staring, it's making me shy."
your soft voice snaps him out of his thoughts. "no, no, fuck, you're gorgeous. look at you, oh my god, i.." he trails off, his hands resting on your tummy. "you just went down on me, and you're short-circuiting over my tits, kim?"
your teasing is not helping his brain, but the attitude brings him back to reality. "you know that's not all it is, stop it." he rolls his eyes, thumbs rubbing circles into your skin. it's soothing, the warmth of your skin radiating against his. he dips his head between your breasts, trailing open mouthed kisses all over your chest and stomach. "you're so beautiful. i'm literally the luckiest person in the entire universe." he's mumbling to himself mostly, but you feel soft tears prick at your eyes. his lips latch around one of your nipples, a gasp from you making him pull off with a pop. "can iâŚare you sure you want this, y/n? i really, really don't want you to regret this."
you grab his face in your hands, your thumbs lightly padding over his cheeks. "i want you, entirely. in this life, in the next life. okay? i got you, don't worry." you echo his words back to him, and he bites his lip, a hint of something in his eyes as he pulls back to unbuckle his pants. kicking them off quickly, you wait until he straightens to take a peek.Â
the rumors were true. he's thick, his tip a soft mauve. your mouth is watering at the sight, when a snap of his fingers catches your attention. "eyes up here, sweetheart. i want you to look at me, can you do that?"
you nod, a shy smile on your lips as he goes to spread your knees again. "no, wait, minnieâŚ" he feels his heart skip a beat at your voice, eyes flickering to yours in concern. "iâŚcan i be on top? i read thatâŚit can be better that way." you swallow thickly, and he feels the tips of ears burn but a smile grazes his features. "you studied for sex?"
any awkwardness is gone. you scoff, a light smack landing on his arm. "forgive me for wanting to be in control."
"you want to be in control? okay. fine, but you won't last long." he shrugs, sliding onto the bed behind you, eyes taking in the curve of your ass before you turn. "lay back, asswipe."
"watch the attitude, or i'm shutting this shit down." he says, eyes serious as you feel your cheeks heat. you watch as he gets comfortable on his pillows, and you crawl over to him, your hands brushing against his sides as you straddle him. "we can go as slow as you want, okay?" his words are reassuring as his hands reach for your thighs, and you nod.
you take a deep breath, lightly letting your cunt drag along his length, his tip bumping your clit. you shiver, a buzz going up your legs as he takes your hips in his hands, manually guiding you over his cock. "did you read about this too?"
"shut up." you roll your eyes, his hands holding you in place. he looksâŚso convincing like this. like everything will go back to normal after this, like everything will be the same. he'll still be your best friend, and you'll still be desperately, hopelessly, stupidly in love with him. it's overwhelming, and you just bite your lip, shaking your head. "you're staring."
"your dick is twitching, but i'm not saying shit." scoffing, you take him in your hand gently, lining him up with your aching center. you sink down slowly, the tip barely swiping your entrance when you grimace, a hiss escaping your lips as you screw your eyes shut. "i know, angel. here, let me help you."
seungmin pulls you closer, his back against his headboard, careful not to pull out. you watch as his hand snakes between the two of you, his thumb softly circling your clit, your eyes threatening to close. "eyes open."
you oblige, feeling a gush of arousal at his command, and you have no room to feel embarrassed when he begins to shallowly fuck into you, matching the pace of his thumb. your eyes are glossy as you move your hands to hold onto the headboard, your chest flush to his face. he kisses your shoulder, your soft whimpers music to his ears.Â
"deeper? or stay like this?" he asks, voice shaking slightly, the warmth of your pussy almost staggering. it's humiliating how worked up you have him, but you need to stay humble. it helps him tolerate you. "d-deeper, is okay."
his arms wrap around your waist tightly, slowly pulling you down further, a whine escaping your throat as your hands move to his shoulders, your eyes meeting his. he's trying not to cum from the way your pretty cunt swallowed him so perfectly, taking him so well. made for him, just him. "m'so full, minnie." you clench around him, and it takes all his willpower not to finish. he's not far, he's practically seeing starsâŚbut the way you're looking at him, you're so pretty, so ready to cry over his cock. he needs to drag this out as long as he can.
"y-you can move, if you want. p-please, want to feel you." you're pleading, he knows. he swallows, confidence wavering as he nods, slowly thrusting up into you, the squelch immediately catching his attention, eyes tearing from yours. he watches the way you take him, your body begging to be ruined by him. he moves a little faster, your mind beginning to blur as he falls into a rhythm.Â
your nails are digging into his shoulders, your lip caught between your teeth as his hips rock against yours. his eyes flicker back to your face, and you manage a quick wink. he feels his cheeks burn beet red as he looks away. he feels like such a fucking virgin, when he is the one that's your first, not the other way around. pretty girl on his lap and he can't even look at you.
he wishes you had been his first, too, and he wishes you would have asked him sooner. you're so smart, you're so gorgeous, your lips taste like cinnamon sugar. fuck, he loves you. you're his best friend, you feel so good around him and you know him so well. he loves you, so fucking much.
his hips come to a slow, your moan drawing out as he drags his cock against your walls at an agonizing pace. "'still want to be in control, angel?" his lips press to your clavicle, and you nod against his neck. "will you tell me if it's good?"
he pulls you back, hand coming up to caress your face. "how could it not be, when it's you?"
you don't say a word, allowing his lips to meet yours in a chaste kiss. he slumps a bit, and you maneuver so his back is almost flat on the bed, and you try not to moan as the movement makes his cock hit you just right. "whenever you're ready, just use me how you want to."
you feel a flutter in your stomach, giving an experimental roll of your hips, your hands flat on his side. raising your hips, your thighs tremble as you start a rhythm, bouncing on him carefully. he's watching you, the way you move so fluidly, like you're dancing. like you're enjoying him, using him, making his brain feel useless. he can't speak, just drinking in this picture of you he's never going to get to see again after tonight, taking in your throaty moans.
"m-minnie?" your eyes are low, your hands moving to his chest, pushing your breasts together. fuck, you are art. "y-yeah?"Â
he can't even focus as you whimper, clamping around him like a vice, moving slightly faster. "m'close, i can't..i.." you're still looking at him, and he can't. he can't take it, using his strength to flip you on your back. he interlaces your fingers, pinning your hands above you as he roughly fucks into you, sharp cries falling from your lips.
his head dips, lips dragging along your jaw as he whispers in your ear. "this is where you belong. under me, begging for me. got it?"
you feel chills cover your body as you nod, "y-yes, god, yes."
"good girl." he's so unsure of himself, he's so afraid he'll scare off your high but he needs to know. "did you mean what you said earlier?" he's speaking through gritted teeth, his eyes focused on the gloss in your eyes.
"hmm?" your brows furrow, your bitten lips slightly agape as his thrusts become sloppy, and he just shakes his head, opting to kiss you instead. hoping it'll help the knot in his stomach go away, hoping it will help you forget he asked. you can't help but pant into his mouth, feeling him smile against your lips. "you can let go, sweetheart. you did so well for me, yeah? i got you."
you don't register how tightly you squeeze his fingers, or how deeply you're kissing him as you feel the white hot sensation rip through you. he's drunk off you, and you can feel him spurting inside you, his cum trickling out of you as his thrusts come to a slow, slow, stop.
but he doesn't, his lips don't. he can't stop kissing you, he doesn't want to talk. he doesn't want to tell you how you made him feel, how he can never see you the same again. he doesn't want to watch you walk out of his apartment tonight and possibly never be able to talk you again. he doesn't want to ever, ever hear about you doing this with some other guy, but he made his bed.Â
your thighs are trembling around him, and you tug your fingers out of his grasp, pulling as far away from his mouth as you physically can. he pouts, chasing after them, only stopping when your eyes blink slowly at him.
"you alright?" his voice is soft, almost scared. you nod, swallowing thickly as you look away, tears forming in your eyes. "ah, talk to me, y/n. it's okay."
"i meant it. what i said, earlier. iâŚdon't know why i said it, i never planned on saying it. i'm sorry if it's going to make things awkward." you feel a tear escape, your hand quickly pawing it away. "awkward? with you? itâs not possible." he murmurs, and you glance at him, but he's staring at the pillows above your head.
"but you don't feel the same way." you say, almost as if you're trying not to hurt your feelings by letting your own words reject you, instead of him. he shifts, and you realize he's still inside you. he props himself up on his elbows, hands holding his head up as he peers at you. "you think i don't?"
"i know you don't." you laugh coldly, and he smiles. "yeah, miss sex expert? you know everything? did you read that, too?"
"ugh, stop. i'm never telling you anything again." you're becoming increasingly aware of your nudity, and seungmin can feel the hot flame of shame creeping up his back. he shakes his head, hating the way his blushing cheeks burn so bright. "i want you to tell me everything, forever. i love knowing you, i love trusting you. i'm glad you trusted me with this."
you can't look at him. his hand moves to make you look at him, fingers lightly squeezing your jaw. "and i meant what i said, too. you can't fuck anyone else. only i can see you like this, okay?"
his eyes are searching your face, watching you attempt to nod. "andâŚ" he sighs, feeling tears prick at his eyes. "and i love you. i love your smile, and how you laugh when you play sex songs in the car. i love when we split cinnamon rolls, because you always try to take the bigger piece as if i won't just let you have it. i love when you say my name because it rolls so nicely off your tongue. i love how you move so effortlessly, and how you remember every little thing about anyone, ever. i love that you're funny, and you're so passionate. i love that you're so smart, far too smart to think that i wouldn't sell my soul to live an eternity by your side."
his voice is trembling, and your eyes are wide and full of tears, full of adoration, of love for the stupid boy hovering above you.
"i love you, please. please say you're mine." his tears spill, and your lips part, a soft sob escaping as you pull him close, the cool metal of his necklace dragging against your damp skin. "i'm yours, always. i'm yours, i'm yours, i'm yours. i love you." you mumble against his lips, your tears mixing with his on your cheeks.
"thank fuck, i was about to end it all thinking about you doing that fucking trick on someone else." he mutters, and you snort as he buries his face. "that wasn't in the article, funnily enough. it just felt like the right thing to do. think if i pierced my clit, it'd feel better for you?" you ponder aloud, and he nips at your skin.
"don't even start, i haven't even pulled out." he groans, and you laugh loudly. "you're so pretty." he pouts, and rolls his eyes as they start filling with tears, your hand quickly wiping the ones that spilled. "is this going to happen every time? i kind of hate it."
"god, i hope so. i love seeing you like this for me." you tease, and he scrunches his nose. "shut up. stay humble, it's the only way i tolerate you." he nuzzles his nose back into your neck, and you let him stay there, carding your fingers through his hair.
"y/n?"
"yes, seungmin?"
"i'm yours, you know that?"
"mmm, i do now. just mine?"
"just yours. always." he nods as he pulls himself off you, placing a kiss on your temple, before brushing his lips on the shell of your ear. "someone has to fuck the attitude out of you, and i'm so glad it's gonna be me."
you feel your skin heat at his words, and you smack him lightly. he gives a playful thrust, making you gasp before slowly pulling out. "you're off the hook for now, my angel. let's get you cleaned up."
he doesn't stop kissing your face in the shower, or when he's shampooing your hair. he doesn't stop kissing your shoulders as he towels you dry, or your tummy when he works lotion into your skin. he can't keep his hands off you, even when you say you need to put clothes on. he can't get enough of the burn of your skin against his, and moves as fast as a human possibly can stripping the sheets off his bed and replacing them.Â
he can't stop, and he won't stop kissing you, splitting cinnamon rolls with you, or singing sex songs in the car. he can't stop, and he won't stop, supporting you at your recitals and fucking you stupid as a reward. he can't stop, and he won't stop filling your cup until it's overflowing, making you laugh until you cry, and dragging moans of his name from your throat.
he can't stop, and he will never stop, loving you.
temptaetions Š 2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.
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