#Bed: 0

[sul-good]

Friday, 4:00PM | 7cm dilated and 1 epidural later...

[tatakaeeren]

Same smile...yet so different 💔 | Part 2 | Part 3

[housecow]

y’all will never see me as an actual bbw model or making scenario/stuffing content of any sort because i am a TERRIBLE actor.

no i cant do a cute little moan and rub my belly after a funnel session, im literally about to pass out and need to be tucked into bed

[klanced]

“Keith is not a tsundere he just sucks” you know and understand more than a simple mortal mind could ever dream

i feel like a quintessential part of understanding keith's character is realizing that he is generally okay at socializing with people (he just doesn't like dealing with strangers), but there is something very specific about lance that makes keith fumble every single interaction they have

[codecicle]

I made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement, and I don’t expect to be forgiven. I’m simply here to apologize

Inspiration

[um-lorii]

what a baby

[corkscrewrawks]

pee 3rd .

[splo0shh]

Monster Under The Bed AU, mini comic!

[arsonistmoth]

Sometimes you look at your husband and just feel love. Sometimes you think you're gonna get that rare midnight cuddle... Sometimes you wanna fuckin mURDER YOUR CAT BEFORE HE MURDERS YOU.

[colorfulatlas]

I see you guys are starting to like a certain italian chef

[anbessette]

You've heard of There Was Only One Bed, now get ready for: There Were Only Two Beds!

3zun stop at an inn for the night after a night hunt. There's one room available, but it only has two beds. (And, to avoid the easy solution, the room is too small and cramped for anyone to sleep on the floor. Jin Guangyao could maybe fit in the gap between the beds but it would be hell on his old injuries and the other two know it.) Who shares with whom? Who sleeps alone? How do they decide?

Some possibilities I considered while trying to fall asleep:

NMJ and LXC share, JGY sleeps alone

——NMJ suggested it because he doesn’t trust JGY. He doesn’t say it in so many words, but JGY knows 😢

——LXC suggested it because he’s worried about JGY’s reputation. No-one would dare make an issue of Zewu-jun and Chifeng-zun sharing a bed, but being caught in bed with either of his sworn brothers could ruin JGY.

——JGY suggested it because his sworn brothers are pure and righteous and he is the son of a prostitute. Obviously they wouldn’t want to dirty themselves being so close to him if there's another option. He'll be the one to make the suggestion so he doesn’t have to hear either of them say it out loud.

NMJ and JGY share, LXC sleeps alone

——NMJ suggested it because he saw the look on JGY’s face and had to make sure JGY knows that NMJ doesn’t think he’s dirty.

——LXC suggested it because of his ongoing quest to matchmake Nieyao into reconciling. He's sure that a little forced intimacy can only improve their relationship!

——JGY suggested it because he wants to show er-ge that he is trying to fix things and it’s da-ge who’s being unreasonable. He assumed NMJ would refuse and earn himself a disapproving look from LXC. He has no idea what to do with himself when NMJ just goes “Yeah, OK” and gets into bed with him.

LXC and JGY share, NMJ sleeps alone

——NMJ suggested it because LXC and JGY are both smaller than he is and will fit more comfortably in one of these cramped little beds. He has no feelings whatsoever about the prospect of sharing a bed with either of them, it's just practical.

——LXC suggested it because he assumes NMJ would refuse to consider sharing with JGY and he doesn’t want a fight.

——JGY suggested it because he’s scared of NMJ. He doesn’t say it in so many words, but NMJ knows 😢

Someone figures that opportunities like this don’t come along every day and volunteers to share with whoever he thinks he has the most sexual/romantic tension with. It might be his only chance to share his beloved’s bed! Unfortunately, it’s not as romantic or as sexy as he hoped, not least because he can’t stop thinking about the other guy just a couple of feet away...

Someone doesn’t want this to be weird and volunteers to share with whoever he thinks he has the least sexual/romantic tension with. Turns out he’s mistaken about that. By the end of the night he has to confront the realisation that he’s in love with both of his sworn brothers.

Someone wants to share because he’s noticed there’s a ton of sexual/romantic tension between the other two. They’re not gonna be consummating that shit tonight if he has anything to say about it! He’s so busy worrying about his sworn brothers getting together and leaving him behind that he doesn’t notice the “😍Of course I’ll sleep with you!” and “😏You two have fun” reactions.

Someone volunteers to sleep alone because he’s noticed there’s a ton of sexual/romantic tension between the other two and he is nobly stepping aside. He won’t stand in the way of true love. The other two are like “Why’s he so eager to sleep alone? Doesn’t he love us?🥺”

Two people offer to share because they’ve done it before and it wasn’t a big deal (Nielan when they were kids, Xiyao when they were on the run, or Nieyao when they were in the army). The other person spends the whole night tormented by sexy, sexy visions of what might have happened between his sworn brothers on the multiple(!) nights they’ve spent in bed together.

The person who’s sleeping alone is jealous and horny and agonising over all the sex he might be missing out on right now.

The person who’s sleeping alone can hear the other two breathing, and he knows they’re fast asleep. He’s cold and lonely and tormented by soft, cosy visions of all the cuddles he’s definitely missing out on right now.

Somehow, they make it through the night.

The next time they have to spend the night at an inn together, the proprietor says “We have two rooms available. One has two beds, and the other has one bed.” 3zun, remembering this night, say “We’ll take the room with one bed.” “No, that’s not … You don’t have to choose between them. You can take both rooms.” “WE. WILL. TAKE. THE ROOM. WITH ONE BED.”

[allyheart707]

@donniesbrows here is my side of the art trade! :DDD

THIS WAS SO FUN TO DRAW OH MY GOSH-

Thank you for this!

[itayaki]

I'm still thinking about that scene

[edorazzi]

It's the last Tintin Day of the year! ❄️

Just a quick piece since I've been super busy this month, but I'll always make time for my favourite day. There's so much space in the Marlinspike grounds to build the perfect boozy snowcaptain! ☃️🍾

[beelzeballing]

actually i dont think ive posted my thoughts on ofmd s2 overall here yet have i?

ok here goes: i think it had incredibly high highs, and at some parts i genuinely enjoyed it more than i did the first season, episode 6 being peak imo. however, it had equally abysmal lows with some glaring writing-, tone- and pacing issues that all came to a head in the finale.

i once read someone say that, if you ever feel like a finale ruined the whole story, maybe you should take another look at the story. there were most likely cracks and problems all along, and the finale did nothing besides dashing the hope that these would perhaps be addressed later. very rarely do genuinely well written stories go completely off the rails in the finale and ruin the whole thing.

i think this is applicable here in some ways, SPECIFICALLY in regards to edward. good god edward was a MESS this season, and it's so sad because i loved the starting point! the kraken era was absolutely terrifying and iconic as FUCK but... they shouldn't have leaned so hard into the drama and trauma of it all. don't get me wrong, i loved that it did. it's one of my favorite parts of the season and i'm so glad we got it. but if they wanted this arc to work with the overarching plot as they wrote it, they would've had to lighten up the tone here CONSIDERABLY. had they played the kraken era for comedy then sure! edward's bad youtuber apology would've been funny. his fast redemption would've been less jarring. the lack of consequences less disturbing. but as it stands in the show, this arc is too dark to function with the later episodes.

i feel like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too here. they wanted the gritty drama of ed coming off the hinges entirely but also didn't want to deal with the aftermath of such a heavy arc in their silly pirate romcom. be that due to time constraints and budget cuts or because they were simply unwilling to, doesn't really matter in the end. the result is the same either way: a very tonally messy season with some accidentally troubling implications regarding abuse.

and mentioning troubling implications regarding abuse; izzy. my poor, poor izzy... his arc was absolutely glorious. i liked izzy the second he showed up in s1 and i was absolutely EATING this season up in that regard. and i think in this case, they genuinely did fuck it all up in the finale with that one stupid choice:

choosing to kill izzy was the DUMBEST thing they couldve done here.

ive talked about this over and over and over again. ive reblogged so many meta posts. and still i am left absolutely flabbergasted by how stupid of a decision this was. the fridging, playing at the fallen woman trope, killing the beating heart of the season and the character who delivers what is essentially a thesis statement, killing off the character whose arc is about coming to terms with his disability, having him die in edward's arms, comforting him and apologizing after an entire season of finding community and love outside of edward, the absolutely godawful pacing of it all, the extremely easy and obvious solution of just having IZZY become the new captain of the revenge to mirror s1 and hammer home how much he has developed since then in one go... i could go on. and i have. it was a stupid writing decision, completely fucked the tone and pacing of the finale and took away attention and time from things that really would've deserved a better wrap up (lucius and black pete deserved better)

now. the whole prince ricky & zheng plot line... yeah that shit sucked ass, sorry. they bit off more than they could chew here. i honestly think those are the arc words of this season:

✨️ bit off more than they could chew ✨️

right off the bat: i think he was good as a concept. bringing in a foil for stede who just doesn't Get It as stede does could've made for very good comedy and drama (and to be fair there is some of that). but that shit got away from them extremely quickly. nothing about how he's implemented past his first episode works, and i think this is very specifically because he's mostly played as the comic relief in his debut episode. making this completely bumbling fool, who gets his nose hacked off on his first job, the main villain of your entire season is... definitely a choice. idk. he didn't work for me at all.

ok wow mentioning shit getting away from the writers. this definitely got away from me. this was supposed to be a short lil post. well. i guess tl;dr i loved this season but jesus christ there was a lot wrong with it. if you want to hear more thoughts. ask box is open. be my guest. i have more to say so even if you dont ask i might add more to this at some point but im tired and have work tmrw.

[sluckythewizard]

'I wont cry for you, I wont crucify the things you do. I wont cry for you, see, when you're gone, I'll still be BLOODY MARY'