#Both of them finding comfort in each other as much as they'll never admit it

[artheresy]

Im getting,, a fic prompt but I'm still in a writers block this sucks :')

P basic idea of Soukoku getting into the entertainment industry at a young age but ahhh there's so much I would explore with it

[theredengineapologist]

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone! 💙❤

Of course, I had to do something Jameward for the occasion. Even though this meme is literally called "Understand my Ship in 5 Minutes", I still wanted to include some commentary/headcanons because I've been DYING to talk about them forever. So if you're interested, read on under the cut!

(Also, please note that the interpretation of the characters depicted here is specifically for my AU, TTTE: Sudrian Boys)

NAMES: For the sake of making sure their names fit in the boxes, I used the last names they picked for themselves before they got married. When they do eventually get legally married, they'll combine their last names together (a conclusion they got to after much bickering). So respectively, they will be James and Edward Hughes-Pettigrew.

GENDER + SEXUALITY:

James is GAY. GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY. Sorry not sorry, but there is not a woman-liker bone in his body.

Edward, on the other hand is bi. Part of me thinks he tends to prefer the company of men, but maybe that's just because there's significantly more male engines on Sodor. Also he is nonbinary. This will be something I explore later. But to summarize, Edward never felt entirely male in the strict sense that humans define it. However, he felt the need to be the consistent, steady, "old reliable" his peers saw him as, so he never questioned what others chose to call him. This changed when "The Great Shift" happened (aka, the engines learning to shift into a human-like form). Edward saw an opportunity to experiment with his presentation, and so he had a brief stint where he tried going in the opposite direction, presenting as a woman named Alice. As fun as it was, however, he found that it didn't feel quite right either. To him, "Edward" was where he felt most at home. He's not a man or a woman, he is just "Edward". Edward uses "he/they" pronouns because those feel the most neutral to them.

HORNY LEVEL: I will not be elaborating.

AWKWARDNESS LEVEL: I don't think Edward and James ever really had an "awkward phase". Before they got together, they always felt comfortable with each other as close friends would. They never really had that thing of "oh I want to tell him I like him but I also don't want him to know". Edward always knew he liked James, he just didn't say anything because he didn't think James was interested. And once James admitted to himself that he liked Edward, he confessed and it was all smooth sailing from there. To be honest, not much changed when they moved from "close friends" to "boyfriends". They still act like close friends, just with added kissing privileges.

JEALOUSY LEVEL: At the point where they're at in their relationship right now, both James and Edward are pretty secure, so it's rare for either of them to act jealous.

From Edward's perspective, he knows that James is young (relatively speaking) and very attractive, so it's hardly surprising to see that other people would try to flirt with him. There's a small pang of jealousy that comes from him thinking James would have preferred someone younger or stronger, but that quickly goes away once he sees James return to being on his arm and very proudly proclaiming he's already spoken for.

From James's perspective, he thinks Edward is the real catch between the two of them. Plus, it's not often that other people would try to shoot their shot with the silver fox. So when other people do try to get a little too close for comfort, James would certainly be stewing in jealousy. If the feeling gets to a certain point, he'd probably make himself known. But once they get home, the situation gets explained out, and they're cuddling on the couch with a blanket and some tea, James finds he can let go of the jealous feeling relatively quickly.

BIG SPOON/LITTLE SPOON: Majority of the time, James is the little spoon. He likes to be held and Edward LOVES holding him. James's favorite thing is when Edward keeps their hand on his chest. But occasionally, they do switch places, especially if Edward has a particularly hard day. Sometimes Old Iron wants to be cuddled too.

LENDS/BORROWS CLOTHES: Both of them tend to steal borrow clothes from each other, but under different circumstances.

At home, it's relatively commonplace to see Edward walking around in one of James's pants, shirts, or even his prized red coat. But more often than not, these are cases of Edward just picking them up of his own accord and James just letting him have it.

Outside, it's James who more actively does the borrowing and Edward who does the lending. James likes to go out ✨IN STYLE✨ without taking into consideration pesky things like the weather. So when James (inevitably) gets cold at night, Edward is the one to lend him his jacket.

PET NAMES: They don't use pet names often, but they do use some of the more basic ones on occasion. For James, Edward would sometimes call him "Jamie", "darling", "dear", or his personal favorite, "love". James usually calls Edward by his full name because Edward prefers it, but sometimes he might slip in an "Eddie", "baby", or a "kitten" in there just to make the old man flustered.

AFFECTION THROUGH WORDS/ACTIONS: This one might seem paradoxical, but let me explain.

James is more receptive to affection through words because he's used to being dismissed. In his worst moments, he can be pretty down on himself as his insecurities eat away at him. At times like these, Edward knows exactly what to say to help James pick himself back up again. It's especially meaningful because Edward absolutely means everything he says. He's not the type to lie just to make James feel better. He's honest and straightforward. If James did something wrong that needs calling out, Edward will tell him (politely of course). So when Edward tells James that he's wonderful or that he's a "really splendid engine", he 100% means it. And you can tell from just the look in his eyes that Edward loves his red boyfriend SO DAMN MUCH.

Conversely, Edward is more receptive to affection through actions. Edward is always the one out caring for everyone else and tends to forget to care for himself too. But at the same time, he's very much the type to never ask for help (even if he needs it). James knows this, so he goes the extra mile to help take some of the load off. If Edward is especially tired one day, James will step up and do Edward's share of the housekeeping without being asked. He'll volunteer to go supervise Bill and Ben so that Edward can take a day off. He'll fix up a warm bath for Edward after a hard day. Anything to make sure Edward is taken care of, James will do it. Not only that, but James is also the one planning most of their dates. ;)

CONFESSING:

Edward NEVER had any plans to confess to James. Romantic relationships are uncommon amongst engines since there's no real use for them. Plus, he didn't think James would be interested in a plain old iron like himself (as he views himself anyway). So Edward was just content to just feel his feelings and never act on them.

James, on the other hand, took several years to both realize and accept that he was in love with Edward. But once he got to that point, he confessed fairly quickly. Sure, there was a normal amount of hesitation and worry that Edward might not feel the same. But he was about 90% sure that Edward loved him back so he didn't end up worrying that much leading up to the confession.

CAN'T DRIVE LOL: Even as engines, they can't drive themselves. Plus, they know trains are the superior way to travel. So if they ever need to go somewhere while shifted into humans, they just catch one of their friends' trains. I don't think they've ever even sat in a car before.

COOKING: Edward loves to cook (especially baking). It was one of the first hobbies he picked up after learning how to shift and he would often make meals to share for the entire Steam Team. James, on the other hand, can cook, but not nearly as well as Edward. He doesn't know as many dishes as Edward. Even the ones they both know, James's, for some reason, aren't as good. The only time James would ever take over cooking is if Edward is feeling too exhausted to do so. There's a mutual acknowledgement between them (and also the rest of the Steam Team) that Edward is the superior chef (and he also enjoys it more). So if he can help it, James prefers to leave the cooking to Edward.

PDA: James absolutely LOVES PDA. He will take literally every opportunity he can to dote on Edward in public so that the entire island knows that they're together, much to Edward's embarrassment. Edward secretly loves the PDA too, and he appreciates how proud James is to be his boyfriend (and later husband). But Edward would never admit it. He tries really hard to at least appear decent in public. That said, when the opportunity arises, Edward does like getting to flip the script and fluster James in front of onlookers.

OVERPROTECTIVE/CHILL GOING: Both are more than reasonably protective over each other, but for different reasons and under different circumstances.

James gets into accidents relatively often, usually as the result of his own dumbassery. So Edward has gotten to a point where he's not too concerned if James winds up in an accident again. He'll still worry a little and warn James to be more careful next time, but Edward knows after a trip to the Steamworks that his boyfriend will be good as new again.

It's when they're shifted into humans when Edward becomes more protective of James.

Because of the way James looks, it's unfortunately not uncommon for James to get harassed while shifted as a human. When this happens, Edward goes into full protective mode to make sure his beloved stays safe. Thankfully, it doesn't happen too often. But it does happen often enough that Edward feels like he has to keep close watch of James while they're traveling after nightfall.

James, on the other hand, always has a bit of worry for Edward at the back of his mind. He knows Edward is capable of handling himself, but he also knows that Edward is old and doesn't recover from accidents as quickly or easily as he does. He worries that if the damage is too great, Edward could be scrapped. So if Edward were to end up in any sort of accident, James would go ballistic. He's puffing over right away to make sure his beloved is okay and may or may not have a fierce word with whoever caused the accident. The same thing goes when they are in human form. If Edward were to end up in some sort of fight, James would put himself in harms way to make sure Edward is protected (even though in human form, Edward is actually physically stronger than James).

RELATIONSHIP EXPERIENCE: Neither of them had any relationship experience before each other, they were each other's firsts. You can maybe argue that Edward has slightly more experience because he's had crushes on other people in the past, but fleeting attraction that is never pursued could hardly count for true experience. Their whole relationship is something that James and Edward are navigating together. It's new and at times a little scary, but there's nobody else James and Edward would rather be with than each other.

[cannebady]

But imagine established steddyhands. They've not been together long enough for it to be anything close to routine, but long enough that they know the lay of the land they're traversing.

Ed and Izzy have always been more to each other, though they'll both admit (Ed more willingly than Izzy, of course) that they've only come to understand it and voice it recently.

Ed and Stede, once they worked through their respective abandonment and abandoning issues, fell right back into an easy, passionate connection that has them both feeling young and reckless and alive.

Izzy and Stede, though, well-

That's a more difficult story. While Ed would argue that they both were more to each other from the beginning (Izzy rarely took an interest, positive or negative, in anyone outside of Ed and the crew and Stede was consummately polite to everyone save for Izzy and Ed always found it interesting), and Stede and Izzy disagree out of what Ed approximates is sheer stubbornness alone. They spent the first few months of Them, all together, saying they were there for Ed and comfortable sharing and Ed had to sit there and watch them throw furtive glances at each other, sometimes over Ed's actual fucking body, until they finally gave in and started reaching out for the other. Stopped trying to touch each other through Ed. Not that Ed minded the attention, though.

It took another month for them to kiss. Another three for them to be intimate without Ed.

But after that they started to fall into their own rhythms and Ed felt happiness on a scale he'd never imagined he could. He woke up tangled with his two favorite people and he got heaping loads of love and devotion thrown at him daily and fuck if it wasn't a dream come true. And now that Stede and Izzy were also realizing what they could be to each other, Ed's lucky enough to watch the two loves of his life fall a little in love with each other too.

Once they'd defined their whole, Thing, Izzy had become much more tactile with Ed. Openly seeking and providing cuddles, tucking Ed's hair behind an ear, and, implementing his morning ritual of dropping a kiss onto Ed's forehead before heading up on deck. Each morning, Izzy woke with the dawn, Ed following a short time later, and Stede resolutely refusing to wake up until he had no choice to. So when Izzy finished dressing he'd drop a kiss to Ed's forehead and that was the official start to the day. It had been that way for months and Ed came to look forward to it.

He also couldn't help to notice that he never did the same to Stede. Ed pushed it from his mind for the most part. A key strategy for loving the two most stubborn and downright bitchy men on the high seas was to know when to push and when to retreat. They seemed to be figuring it out, so Ed let it go. Well, maybe not let it go, but at least didn't bring it up.

Then there was a storm. Fun and loud and the type of thing Ed used to love. Now, he loves people and that's a far more dangerous game. Stede has learned to sail enough to be helpful, and as Co-Captain of the vessel resolutely refused to stay below deck. Ed was equal parts nervous and proud, but ultimately trusted Stede to know his limits. Izzy, though, seemed anxious and, Ed noticed, almost always had an eye turned toward Stede as the storm truly set in and the chaos started. As the rain and wind pelted against the hull and soaked the ship tip to stern, Izzy's laser focus turned to a look of horror and Ed almost missed it, focused as he was on the color draining from Izzy's face.

A strike of lightning illuminates the sky and there's a deafening crack and one of the lines breaks, looping the rope Stede is lashed too and sending both over the side of the ship.

Ed screams, but he barely hears it over the violence of the storm and his own pounding heart. He turns to Izzy to bark an order only to find Izzy stripping out of his vest and climbing over the side to grab Stede's rope and start hauling him up.

Ed sees Stede break the surface. He's still attached, thank something, but he's limp as Izzy, and a few of the crew, bring him back aboard and Ed's happy world starts to shatter around the edges. All he can think, desperately, is no.

Izzy's a flurry of movement as he tries to sit Stede up and get him to wake up, and Ed's crying so hard he can feel the tears even with the rain pouring down, and the crew is looking on, horrified, and Ed's about ready to fall to actual pieces when Stede's eyes open and he coughs up a worrisome amount of water. As soon as the worst of it passes, he looks over at Ed, smiles a little, then turns to Izzy and reaches a shaky hand up to his cheek before turning his head and coughing more water up onto the deck.

Ed remembers that he has arms, and legs, and a voice, and thirty years of experience sailing through storms, and gets the crew back to work getting them through this. Then he and Izzy get Stede back to their quarters, warm him up and put him in dry clothes before doing the same for each other and getting situated in bed. They'll address the damage, physical and emotional, tomorrow. Tonight is for rest and for Ed to cling to them both like a limpet.

He doesn't sleep a wink. Stede is out quickly, followed by Izzy, both exhausted he's sure, and Ed just stays up staring at Izzy, the fucking hero of the day and Stede, his love that he almost lost. He decides not to look away and if he sneakily checks a pulse here and there, or stokes blonde or salt and pepper locks occasionally, no one needs to know.

When Izzy wakes, early with the sun as always, he does something a little different. Before getting out of bed he kisses Ed twice, then takes a deep breath and brushes Stede's golden curls from his forehead. There's a complicated expression on his face, and it's raw and gorgeous but Ed doesn't want to ruin the moment so he keeps the thought to himself. Izzy drags his hand down Stede's cheek, gentle as can be, and leans forward to press a long, firm kiss right on his cheekbone.

Stede's eyes open but he says nothing. Just looks at Izzy for a long time before he turns his head and kisses Izzy's palm, soft and reverent. Izzy's eyes are bright when he pulls away, but he turns around quickly, resolute to begin the day, and Ed curls himself back around Stede knowing he won't be leaving his side today and basking in the overwhelming warmth of what he just saw.

Stede falls back to sleep quickly, especially with Ed's fingers running through his hair, but there's a soft smile on his face that Ed can't wait to see more of. He's also very interested for Izzy to see it and to know he put it there.

There's more love here, he thinks, than any of them thought possible and for once, he's very, very glad to have been wrong.

[the-one-that-weeps]

Speaking of a Kanaan event, once upon a time I had a unit shuffle in which Kanade and An were stuck together.

Since she never met Mafuyu or N25 she's basically what she was like in Depths of Despair, aka; not good. She's also quite guilty for taking so much space in a group of performers like An and keeps pushing herself too hard. When someone acknowledges this, she snaps, recoils, and denies the need for any help.

There was a particular scene where Kanade admitted that all her hard work is "for someone". This is the most vulnerable she's been the whole story. An finds this detail wonderful and says she's also driven by a special person, and tells her about Nagi and how she's waiting for her to see her improvement.

Kanade smiles and remarks that both Nagi and An seem like wonderful people. They both vow to wait for the people that started their journey for them.

A year later An discovers Nagi's situation. Kanade invites her to the Carnation field to make her feel better. When An asks why Kanade reminds her of the previous scene and tells her that now it's her turn to take care of An, even if they're vow cannot fully be fulfilled.

An asks if one day Kanade will feel comfortable enough to help An meet her dad. Kanade says that once the stench of the hospital turns forgiving for both of them, it'll be the first thing they'll do.

Kanade braids carnations into Ann's hair like her mother and An taught her. She thinks An looks pretty. They both vow to keep each other safe until then. "What happens after that?" "We'll find something else" "and you'll still be here?" "Will you" "I sure hope so..." "then I'll stay close too"

[rowans-thoughts]

Some more Lokius headcanons I had in my back pocket!

They enjoy discussing theoretical situations with each other and always end up bickering over their viewpoints. (Loki’s usually the one to bring these topics up) This especially happens whenever they sit down for their usual key lime pie. Because Loki can't stand silence, there has to be something going on or his brain gets bored. so he starts these debates to fill the silence. (Also because he enjoys riling up Mobius)

Adding onto this, they both always think they're right and neither will admit when they're wrong when it comes to these silly debates. Usually, it ends with them slowly getting closer to each other until one of them decides to shut the other up with a kiss. (This doesn't always end the debate because Loki will usually say "I'm still right" as soon as the kiss is over)

Loki enjoys doing things like painting his nails and occasionally wearing makeup. (Loki mainly wears black or dark green nail polish but isn't opposed to doing other colors once in a while) Loki has also managed to get Mobius to let him paint his nails, Mobius thought it felt weird wearing it but overall was pretty neutral on the idea. (He absolutely loves it when Loki wears it tho because he thinks he looks hot)

Ever since Mobius got Loki into sweets, Loki has just developed the worst sweet tooth ever and Mobius is scared that he has created a monster with how much Loki eats candy/desserts. It seems she always manages to have a stash nearby with how often she'll appear with a piece of candy in hand. (They always offer Mobius some)

Loki loves his life at the tva but he does still get homesick every now and then. Usually, when he's feeling like this he'll hop down onto the timeline to keep up with how Thor is doing, tho they never actually manage to work up talking to him they'll just watch from out of sight.

Mobius can always tell when loki is homesick even if he tries to hide it. And he knows he goes to visit his brother. But he never asks Loki about it. Never even asks if he's tried speaking to him. Because Mobius knows if Loki wants to talk about it then she will. In the meantime whenever Mobius can tell he's feeling homesick, Mobius will be a lot gentler with Loki and try to find ways to subtly comfort them.

Alright that's all my headcanons on them for now

[flownwrong]

Shipping bingo: rayk/fraser let's see if we can get bingo baby

okay I admit I cheated a little just to get a bingo but LET ME EXPLAIN

- comfort ship: self-explanatory

- criminally underrated: as of 2023, haha. I'm on a mission to convince more people to get into due south regardless of shipping anyway

- I could write essays: but I would prefer to write fic. and here's to me getting more confident about it

- fanon gets them so wrong: I don't know the current fanon, and what I can intuit from heaps of good fic left from The Times is a lot of varying but good fanon. however, in my imaginary discussions with an active fandom I am pretty sure I would find things to be ornery about because they're really easy to distort into stereotypes

- from what I know about Freud, he'd have a field day with just about anything. so I think I can safely include this one (also, I do have ray asking thatcher about not knowing who you are without another person playing on loop in my head)

- no one gets them like I get them: see above. there are many glorious and precise takes immortalised in fic but I can always find something I would tweak just a little to make it that much closer to my vision (which, oh well, I need to git gud at writing to keep my dignity while nitpicking the superior writing of others)

- facebook status: they would absolutely both think it's complicated. which it is, wonderfully so, canon timeline especially, but on fundamental level they're always just careening towards fitting together like puzzle pieces, so THEY'D THINK SO, BUT WE KNOW BETTER. also, watching ray, a shitty facebook user, make fraser a facebook account would be hysterical (because let's face it, fraser would never otherwise)

- it would never work in canon: here's my ultimate bingo cheat. because boy, does it ever work in canon. I can only explain it like so: in my perfect imaginary timeline they would never actually form a stable romantic bond without some serious soul-searching post-cotw. which is catnip to me because they really DO the puzzle pieces thing, but man, are they a ways away from communicating that to each other or even themselves, canonically (ffs ray's still waiting for the other shoe to drop AND not exactly serene re:Stella and fraser is so much reeling from the avalanche of finale happenings he can't see that and still hasn't fully learned the lesson about not being an island and I bet you my left hand they would be extremely unequipped for deciding where to go from there, so they'll definitely need the shiny quest liminality and then some to get it)

- I have so many questions: but mostly why are you both so blind arghh (and thank god for that, it's the driving force of my adoration and an endless exploration ground)

- they should go to therapy together: you know what, I really wouldn't mind. it'd be hilarious. but also didn't someone (speranza??) write a whole fic that takes it seriously that you recced and I keep putting off because I know it'll destroy me in ways both good and bad? because I can roll with that too

- I don't think THEY know what they have going on: again, thank god for that. they really don't. it's heartbreaking and adorable in equal measure.

- literally perfect, no notes: I say, after writing many notes. but now's the moment when I publicly admit they have a stronger grip on my mind than sam and dean do—at least currently, we'll see about the long run. because I'm mushy af even with my angst and miscommunication enjoyment and they're a dream come true for my sappy sappy heart.

- also, they could never do friends with benefits. they'd think they can, but no, they can't. it's a rock fact.

here, come, look at my embarrassing admissions!!! thanks for asking, I'm fucking dying to talk about them at all hours of the day.

[comicaurora]

I've recently finished Leverage and Leverage redemption and am in the process of casually rewatching it. (Thanks for introducing me to FMAB and ATLA too btw) I just want to ask you a few questions about it, like: What are your favorite things about each character? What are your favorite things about each relationship. What are your favorite things about the group? How do you feel about the sequel? How do feel about the romance in the show? What are your favorite running jokes? Thank you

hoohoohoo, it's like an essay prompt but about something I actually like

What are your favorite things about each character?

Nate: to be honest, kind of a hard sell - definitely the protagonist I like the least, intentionally so. That said, when they're dealing with a really hateful bad guy it's always fun to see Nate turn all his asshole powers against them and get really smug about it

Sophie: extremely insightful! fun to see it weaponized, extra fun to see her very gently use it to try and help the rest of the team live their best lives, especially Parker

Parker: oh how easily Parker could have been an Obliviously Sexy Unhinged Harley Quinn type, and instead we got the first thoughtfully written explicitly neurodivergent female character I've ever seen. Never infantilized despite it being a frequent plot point that the others help her through her difficulty in social settings and with processing loss. Full-fledged character in her own right, grows and becomes more comfortable without ever having her neurodivergence "fixed". she's a great character and I find her writing refreshingly free of red flags or "oof" moments. love that she's good with kids and teaches them Crime in the first ten minutes of hanging out

Hardison: literally the only normal person in this group and I say this as a compliment. everyone else is at least kind of a james-bond-style superspy with borderline preternatural abilities but hardison is the only character I trust to order a coffee without making a scene. unconditionally the emotional heart of the group and the only character able to openly admit that he likes the other characters, which is vital in a group of Edgy Loner Crime-Boys.

Eliot: joke answer, the hair. real answer, I love any character who turns themself into a weapon and stoically accepts that they'll never be anything else again. "Incredibly simple, but in the same way that a sword is simple." Adds a beautiful substrate of angst to all of his funny or lighthearted moments, as underlying it is a character who concluded long ago that he's irredeemable, and because he thus considers himself entirely disposable and even irrelevant is now determined to spend the rest of his life making the world a better place. Also, one of the only Edgy Badass Lancer types who is incredibly overt about how much he likes and cares about his teammates and never even jokes about "bah I'm better off on my own I was just passing through etc etc."

Harry: just an absolute wet noodle of a man. Love that he's taken Hardison's role of "only normal human being"

Breanna: absolutely love how bad she is at the social grifting side of things, because that is 100% accurate to every tech person I know

What are your favorite things about each relationship?

There's a lot of relationships and I'm not about to highlight all 10 OG pairings plus the 9 new pairings added by Harry and Breanna, so instead I'll just highlight my absolute favorite underrated one, which is Parker and Eliot. They have this odd synergy where they're both by far the most physically dangerous people in the group and also the most scarred by a country mile, and they have this kind of unspoken camraderie about it that only gets overtly highlighted in Season 4 Episode 1, "The Long Way Down Job." Everyone else in the group is a person, they seem to think; people they want to protect. But the two of them are tools and weapons, and that means they can do the things that people can't. Also within this synergy there's a good foiling dynamic where Eliot has basically seen it all and come to terms with everything under the sun, while Parker is comparatively extremely hyperfocused and rather sheltered and is constantly grappling with new situations. Underrated dynamic.

What are your favorite things about the group?

They just hang out sometimes! It feels like they keep existing when the camera's off them. Valuable screentime is spent on them just chilling and chatting, getting dinner together and bringing up more wacky offscreen hijinks. A story that's relentlessly All Action And Disrupted Status Quo All The Time starts tuning you out after a while, but it's the slow, peaceful moments that make us invested in their success and in them being able to help the innocent-victims-of-the-week.

How do you feel about the sequel?

Loved the first season, tentatively optimistic about the rest of it - I've been burned before so I'm taking it slow.

How do you feel about the romance in the show?

Parker and Hardison's thing is cute and compelling! Big fan of how it doesn't override the other dynamics and isn't treated as intrinsically more important than the rest of the gang's relationships. Nate and Sophie's thing feels a little more plot-mandated and tbh Nate is kind of an unlikable fuckhead so I'm not sure why Sophie was so hung up, but it wasn't too disruptive and it was always very funny seeing them play a dysfunctional couple on a grift

What are your favorite running jokes?

"Dammit Hardison." Parker pushing people off of things. Someone asking Eliot if he knows about some niche thing or random bad guy and then it flashes back to him getting waterboarded in Area 51 or whatever and it cuts back to him mildly going "yea". Wil Wheaton is in this show and everybody hates him. "It's a very distinctive [thing]." Harry, walking befuddled sunshine man, being like "yes I know all the inner workings of this specific niche evil lawyer thing, I was a bad guy remember?" to this group of expert crime boys and somehow surprising them every time

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Love in the Villa AU

Lena is the wine trader and Kara is the schoolteacher who gets dumped by her longtime boyfriend right before her lifelong dream vacation to Verona. They end up double booked in the same villa and are briefly antagonistic in attempting to discourage the other from sticking around.

Kara is sure and confident with her emailed booking confirmation, whereas Lena insinuates that their host likely won't get around to Kara's desperate voicemail before the week is out and both their stays are over-- seeing as she's been staying in this villa for this same week every year for almost a decade and has never even met the woman.

In the end, Kara is the first to cave-- can she at least take the couch for tonight? Like Lena has informed her, there isn't a hotel room to be had for a hundred miles, thanks to the wine convention happening in Verona this week.

Lena reluctantly acquiesces-- simply because she'd be cast the villain for being the person to kick out a luggage-less woman wearing an airport giftshop 'I ❤️ Italia' zip-up.

The next morning, their host Andrea stops by to clear things up. By which we mean she absolutely doesn't. She and Lena argue in Italian (neither of their native languages, but fluent nonetheless) for a brief moment, only for Andrea to brightly turn to Kara and suggest they share the villa for a week.

After all, they'll be off doing their own things during the day, and who doesn't love company over dinner in a romantic villa? There's simply nothing to be done over the fact that Andrea's assistant forgot to add Lena's unofficial stay (bc it turns out Lena and Andrea are actually old friends, and she had only told Kara a little fib about having never met their host in an attempt to get Kara to leave) to the bookings, thereby allowing Kara to reserve the space via the homeshare service.

Andrea breezes out before they can explain exactly why that absolutely won't work, leaving Kara-- heartbroken and stressed and overwhelmed-- on the brink of tears.... which quickly spill over at the sight of Lena's displeased countenance.

Unable to weather the helpless tears, Lena softens.

Fine. They can share.

They initially grate on each other's nerves. Lena being a miserable morning person means she chafes at Kara's boisterous tourist enthusiasm to see everything as early as possible. Kara also accidently casts aspersions on Lena's job as an official wine taster for her family's wine selling company.

But within about a day, they soften to each other and fall into a sort of casual comfort. Kara admits the circumstances of her coming alone. Lena shares that if she could do anything beside her current job (which she secretly doesn't like all that much), it would be to make the wine she tastes, not just find and acquire it.

And they find that they like each other. A lot. Kara shares some of her tourist activities with Lena, and Lena introduces Kara to the deeper world of wine and the science behind it. Kara's never felt like this about anyone, let alone a woman, but she finds herself not wanting to resist it.

Lena is cool and confident and beautiful, listening patiently as Kara rambles on and on, never once losing patience or talking over her. And Lena thinks Kara is passionate and kind and the type of person who lives life to the fullest-- vastly different to the way Lena just seems to skim everything by.

After a particularly romantic night of pasta and gelato and wine, a night that leads them to a tentative kiss, they return to the villa to find yet another woman in the room.

Veronica.

Lena's... something?

Ex or current, Kara doesn't bother to find out. She all but shoves Lena out of the villa when Veronica offers Lena a bed in her own hotel room. Kara's reaction has Lena reluctantly accepting, just so she can give Kara the space she clearly wants.

Kara, on the other hand, is disappointed that Lena a) didn't disclose her relationship status, and b) didn't insist on staying with her in the villa instead of going with Veronica. She's miserable for half a day after, before being startled out of it by seeing her own ex boyfriend outside the villa, waiting for her.

He misses her. He wants her back. Everyone is missing her, apparently-- his family, his friends, his coworkers... but notably, he never says anything about he himself missing her. When he takes her to a fancy restaurant he found on trip advisor-- a resource she's been outspoken against using for this trip-- they actually run into and share a table with Lena and Veronica.

Lena remains quiet throughout the meal, allowing Veronica to do most of the talking for her. Which Veronica is happy to do, in her snide sort of way. To the point that Kara notices that the version of Lena she's gotten to know the past week is nowhere to be found, completely overwhelmed by Veronica and her overbearing personality.

But even so, Kara doesn't give Lena any sort of out. After dinner, on the way back to the villa, Kara's ex proposes to her in front of Juliet's statue and balcony. It's everything Kara had expected to happen before he'd dumped her, and now-- it leaves a bad taste in her mouth.

She says no, and says it again the next morning when he tries to talk her into it.

Kara doesn't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with her. Who doesn't listen to her weird tangents. Who seems ashamed or embarassed of her attempts to speak what little Italian she knows.

She wants-- she wants what Lena makes her feel. Butterflies and warm candlelight to share in while sipping wine. Keen gazes and devoted attention, with soft smiles that sparkle in bright green eyes.

Even if its not with Lena herself, Kara knows what she wants. She wants love.

(She also wants Lena.)

On the other side of the equation, we learn that Veronica hasn't been good to Lena. And that being with Kara has given Lena the strength to tell Veronica no. She doesn't want to be on again. She doesn't want her dinners ordered for her. She doesn't want to live at another's beck and call.

So she leaves the hotel and spends the night with Andrea-- who in turn reveals she maybe kind of sorta allowed the double booking to happen in the hopes that Lena and Kara might hit it off, giving Lena a shot at a romantic fling to steer her away from going back to Veronica.

When Andrea tells Lena to stop letting others control her life, she needs to get her head out of her ass and tell Kara how she feels before they both leave Verona. Lena takes the advice to heart and the next day quotes Shakespeare up at the villa's balcony.

In the sea of tourists, her voice lifts bright and clear above the din, carrying to where Kara is packing to leave. Kara emerges onto the balcony, and looks down, her heart fluttering at the sight of Lena's face tilted up at her.

It's a passage from Romeo & Juliet that Kara knows by heart. When Lena finishes, and the crowd waits for her reaction, Kara slips back inside. Shocked and heartbroken gasps echo around the courtyard, prompting Lena's stomach to fall, thinking she's failed.

But then the building door opens, and Kara responds by completing the passage as Juliet to Lena's Romeo.

"I love you," Lena says breathlessly, her arms finding a home around Kara's hips. "And stop me if I'm wrong, but... I think you like me too."

"I do."

"And I know your boyfriend--"

"Will be remaining my ex boyfriend," Kara assures her. She hesitates. "But Veronica?"

"Veronica and I have been done for years," Lena admits. "It just took meeting you for me to realize it."

Kara smiles then, a beaming grin as bright as the sun.

"Good."

Then they kiss, in the very spot where love springs anew.

[fate-magical-girls]

For the choose violence ask game. (1, 3, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 18, 22, 25) for Hank Pym and Hal Jordan.

There's so much I want to say about both these characters that I'm gonna do answers for Hank, and then answers for Hal later.

Warning: potential fandom-enraging takes ahead.

Hank Pym

The character everyone gets wrong

Domestic abuser is not the be-all end-all of Hank Pym's character, but it can't be discounted either, because he's not just the sweet, sad, relatable guy most of his fandom find him to be. Hank is the sum of all his parts. Partly because of the writers' divided interpretations of him, Hank is a person who will realize his mistake, work very hard to ensure they never happen again, make a lot of progress, but then hits a point where he stops watching himself and backslides. His compassion, courage, and patience are real, but so is his insecurity, jealousy, and occasional moments of self-centeredness or self-destructiveness. Once he gets too comfortable in a romantic relationship, everything starts being about his needs and his comfort level, with him not noticing whether or not he could make his partners uncomfortable. To his credit, if they point this out, he usually does apologize. (For example, proposing marriage to Jan on the date of their original anniversary) He's also capable of being toxic and spreading his misery to others, especially during a depressed episode, such as his attempt to destroy almost all AI in Rage of Ultron. There's moments when he feels entitled to acceptance in the superhero community, if not also to forgiveness. He also built a prison where shrunken supervillain inmates are terrorized by ants serving as guards, and named it Lang Memorial Penitentiary, presumably because he and Jan found it funny. That said, understanding and dealing with his own flaws makes him very forgiving and empathetic toward others, even those his fellow heroes would consider lost causes.

3. Screenshot or description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

Anything that considers Janet Van Dyne responsible for the marital abuse she suffered, or that considers her as THE toxic one in her marriage with Hank Pym. Just during the marriage itself, Jan was as supportive as she could be, given the constraints of being written during the 80s. It was Hank who was too prideful to admit he had problems as their marriage decayed. Both of them made mistakes and mistreated each other here and there, but it's ultimately Hank who did worse.

7. What character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Hank Pym, but it's more of a love-hate-obsession for him. Most of the Hank Pym fandom tends to defend him and use him as mental health advocacy. They're right that Hank is struggling, and he is relatable, but he's also a grown man with his own agency and flaws that don't stem from his bipolar disorder. Also, just because of the changing times, characters in his same position, such as Moon Knight and Hank's own daughter, are shown seeking out therapy and a support network to handle their conditions responsibly. Hank is consistently portrayed as someone who, due to both pride and bad experiences with SHIELD handlers, refuses to do that. I hope that when Marvel does bring him back, they'll address that point. I like Hank Pym for both his virtues and his flaws, and if Marvel lets him deal with his condition responsibly, I'll probably stop emphasizing his flaws.

8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Hank doesn't want to be an Avenger and/or Jan is always dragging him into superheroics when he's more comfortable in a lab. Hank does want to be an Avenger. Moreover, he wants to fit in as an Avenger. He wants to be as impressive and as powerful as the rest of this cool crowd, or at least, he wants to find a niche and be useful. Hank is a person who expresses affection through practical measures, like nursing people when they're sick, or providing them with the info and tech they need to get something done. Tied into this is his low self-esteem where he thinks that if he stops being useful, his friends will no longer want to be around him. That's why finding out Iron Man is Tony Stark proves to be so devastating for him -- he's no longer sure why his cooler and better friends keep him around. It's also why he keeps on redefining himself -- he's trying to be accepted and fit in. It's true Hank has taken physical and mental health sabbaticals, but the Avengers, as strange and stressful as they are, are his only friends outside of colleagues like Bill Foster. Hank needs the Avengers to be his support system, and he definitely wants them in his life, even though he's nervous about how he can keep up with their pace.

Another opinion is that Hank is bad about expressing affection and attraction. Like I said, he expresses affection through practical measures. He is bad about doing emotional labor and remembering comfort zones, more than even Marvel's other geniuses, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a love language. He's not a smooth talker and he's an introvert, but he can be deeply romantic. He lets Maria Trovaya's memory as well as Jan's memory cast shadows over his heart long after their presumed deaths. He remembers special dates and anniversaries and always tries to do something special for his loved ones to commemorate the occasion. He does spend a lot of time in his lab, and his passions are primarily that of the mind and not the body, but he has no problem initiating intimacy with either Jan or Tigra, or even seeking out one-night-stands. I actually think there's moments when he's more uninhibited than his teammates, especially if he's swinging toward a manic episode, and he's demanding some intimacy from his significant other even though they're in a public place (in the worst case scenario, they can just shrink down and hide in plain sight).

9. Worst part of canon

How Janet was killed off and Hank was essentially rewarded with Tigra's love in the wake of Secret Wars. Sorry to the Tigerant shippers out there, I have some issues with that plot development. For me, it feels skeevy that Hank Pym is essentially given a fresh start because Jan isn't around to make him feel guilty about his mistakes anymore. It gets worse because Tigra was originally a second-wave feminist character. Even before her transformation into a weretiger, she was strong, determined, and refused to be put down or infantilized by the men around her. Her original character arc in West Coast Avengers was about her reconciling the two sides of her soul and realizing that her Greer side wasn't a weak little woman who needed men like Hank to comfort and protect her. Her Avengers Academy years were alright, since she was a good teacher and a good mother, but she also didn't feel like the way Tigra should be. All her edges were filed off and she became an accessory for Hank Pym's happiness. However, I do concede that they seem happy together and fans want their favs to be happy.

As it pertains to Hank himself, his not-quite death in Rage of Ultron. He died almost as an afterthought, and he's only ambiguously dead because Ultron fused into his body. If Marvel really wanted to retire him, they could've chosen a better way to do it.

10. Worst part of fanon

Anything that posits that Hank, Greer, William, and Nadia should form a happy little family without Janet being involved. Jan is Nadia's mother in everything besides biology. Just because Hank is Nadia's biological father and Nadia wants to meet him doesn't mean she should be cut off from Jan. And Jan being Jan probably means she has a split custody agreement set up and ready to go just to prepare for eventualities.

Also, the opinion that Hank, Greer, and William would continue to have a happy, drama-free relationship as time went on. Personally, I think that Hank's insecurities need to be taken into account. His original conflict with Jan leading into his manic episodes was that she was richer, more successful, and performed better in battle than he did. Even if he's gotten past most of his toxic masculinity by now, he still needs to be careful about backsliding. In a way, Greer really is perfect for him because of her lack of employment or respect from the hero community at large means she never triggers his insecurities. He doesn't feel an obligation to respect her or compete with her the way he would with Jan. Greer, being the free spirit and semi-loner she is, also doesn't need Hank's attention or emotional labor to keep loving him. She can just drift in and out of his life as needed. Of course, she might have some strong opinions if she thinks Hank doesn't respect her. There's also the issue that Hank and Greer are from two different worlds, even more so than him and Jan. Sooner or later, as William begins dealing with his cat soul and cat instincts, Hank will want to impose some sort of discipline while Greer wants to give him space to figure it out on his own like she did back in the day. And that would lead to conflict. On the other hand, Hank and Jan would mostly agree as to how to coparent Nadia. I also think that William is mostly his mother's son, so while he would always love Hank as his dad, there would be a gulf between them where they don't share very many interests and thus can't really understand each other. If you factor in Moon Knight, William might vibe more with him as they both understand the thrill of the hunt, and Hank would really start feeling competitive.

12. The unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Hank is a niche character in and of himself, and I wish more people would love him with all his flaws attached. He's a bit of a paradox, both an ant of a man and someone who casts a long shadow. There's a lot to hate about him, for obvious reasons, like being selfish and insecure. But there's also a lot to love about him, like his curiosity and idealism and his compassion for even the smallest creatures, such as his ants. You can't call him a good person, but he's still a well-rounded character. I also like Eric O'Grady and find him a very distinct character. Like Hank, he's heavily flawed, maybe even more than his predecessor, but he still tries to better himself. He still learns something about letting go of his selfishness and being a hero. Eric's original death was being crushed to death like an ant while protecting a child. Regardless of Remender's writing quality, I can appreciate that he did find the courage to step up and sacrifice himself when cowardice is something he struggled with for his entire existence.

18. It’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on…

Both of the other Pym-Van Dyne kids. There's William Grant Nelson, Hank and Tigra's son, of course, but there's also Katie Summers, Jan's daughter with Alex Summers. There's a lot of stories you could get out of them. Katie was stolen from her father's arms by Kang the Conqueror when the Avengers needed to go back in time and erase the bad future that she was born in. Kang's child-rearing methods leave a lot to be desired because he typically dumps children in specifically selected bad future timelines that traumatize them into hating everyone they used to love, like Black Bolt's son Ahura being made to slaughter his own ancestors across time or Archangel's twins being thrown into a mutant concentration camp. How would Hank, Jan, and Nadia deal with Jan's daughter as Kang's angry and traumatized lieutenant? And for William, I've already talked about how I think he and his father might not always understand each other, but there's also the issue of his dad not just being his dad anymore. In a blended family scenario, Hank is also Nadia's dad and Katie's stepdad of sorts. How would William handle not being able to monopolize his father anymore, especially when Nadia shares more of his interests? And for that matter, how does Nadia deal with Jan having a daughter of her own, a daughter that she deeply missed for a long time?

Also, Marvel should hurry up and let Jan design a toyline with Hank's help. She can design the dolls' looks and Hank can help build the miniature accessories.

22. Your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

Hank Pym has hobbies that aren't just science! He plays the piano, snaps candid photos, watches anime, enjoys junk food, and he and Jan both collect stamps. And for the record, back in the Tales to Astonish era, Jan was always trying her hand at stand-up comedy by telling ironic horror stories to people she hung out with. Her performances rarely went over well, especially not with Hank. I like the idea that he and Jan held open mic nights for the Avengers or attended fandom conventions together, because couples need to share some hobbies. He's also good at barbecue, so I imagine he cooked for Greer sometimes.

And neither here nor there, but Hank, Jan and Greer are all characters with horror roots. Hank starts out as a sci-fi horror protagonist, an arrogant scientist whose experiment backfires. He then becomes the psycho-horror villain of Jan's story in the lead-in to their divorce. Tigra was modified from standard superhero The Cat into a horror B-movie style weretiger that was at once attractive, exotic, and dangerous. Someday, these three should deal with some horror story tropes...

25. Common fandom complaint that you’re sick of hearing

Hank deserves to forgiven for his mistakes with no strings attached because the likes of Carol Danvers and Tony Stark have done worse and been accepted back into the fold with a slap on the wrist. If anything, Hank was forgiven and accepted back with no boundaries attached way too easily during the Stern-Englehart era. By the end of Trial of Yellowjacket, he does have a moment of clarity where he apologizes to Jan, but his other teammates like Cap were trying to apologize to him for not doing more to help him. He was then quickly invited back to be the Avengers West Coast's tech support, and while he still felt guilt and self-hatred, most of his friends, his ex-wife included, forgave him for his misbehavior as Yellowjacket. It got to the point that trying to finally hold him accountable and give him harsher consequences 20 years down the road instead looked jarring and out of character. Carol and Tony, for their parts, were let off easily, but Tony, at least, went on an apology tour and deal with some animosity from his friends for a while. To date, the only Avenger who made a big mistake and still gets overshadowed by it, but deals with it responsibly by accepting her own guilt in the matter and accepting that people are right to view her with suspicion until she proves that she has well and truly changed is Scarlet Witch. Hank always falls short of that final part, because there are moments when he thinks he has indeed done enough to deserve unconditional forgiveness.

I do think Hank deserves a chance to be forgiven for his mistakes, but I also think that he needs to accept responsibility for himself, mostly by getting himself the right sort of treatment to make sure his manic or depressive episodes won't overpower him again.

[reixtsu]

Unspoken Love Locked In A Closet - Soukoku (Dazai x Chuuya) 7 Minutes In Heaven AU

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

Characters: Osamu Dazai, Chuuya Nakahara, mention of Mori Ōtogi Genre: Not really fluff…. But kinda mysterious romance 🥰 Warning(s): None! Synopsis: Dazai and Chuuya were placed in a closet together to do the seven minutes of heaven challenge.

・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・・❥・

The party was in full swing. The music was blasting, pounding in the hearts of those in the party. Alcohol was opened, laughter and music was the ambiance of the lively party. Everyone was having a great time...Everyone but Dazai and Chuuya.

You see, Dazai and Chuuya had been playfully bantering throughout the night, as usual, but there's an underlying tension between them due to their complex history and emotions.

As the game commenced, a mischievous friend Mori paired them up for the "7 Minutes in Heaven" challenge. At first, Dazai and Chuuya resented the idea. How could they ever be in such a tight small place together? Nevertheless m they wanted to break one another. Smirking at each other, they both entered the closet, which was small, a distance away from the main party, and filled with random items.

The moment the door closed, the atmosphere became charged with a mix of curiosity, annoyance, and apprehension. Chuuya crossed his arms, leaning against the closet wall, and raised an eyebrow at Dazai. "So, what do you plan on doing in here, you damn bandage freak?"

Dazai chuckled, putting on his usual facade of nonchalance. "Oh, you know me, Chuuya. I'm here to enjoy our quality time together, of course~” He said flirtatiously, making Chuuya cringe slightly.

Chuuya rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue. However, he couldn’t help but notice a faint blush on Dazai's cheeks. He knew Dazai well enough to notice the small yet almost invisible changes in his body. He decided to play along and smirked back. "Fine. Just don't get any weird ideas, or I'll bury you alive."

The two of them banter back and forth, bickering about height, wine, women, guns, kinks, and even more peculiar subjects. Both men slightly enjoyed their bickering, but knew that they would never admit it to anyone.

During those moments, they let their guard down, dropping the witty comebacks and sarcastic remarks. They begin to show glimpses of vulnerability to each other, acknowledging the fact that they do love each other, no matter how many times they denied.

As the minutes tick by, they find themselves standing closer, almost unconsciously. There's a comfortable silence between them, and they're just appreciating each other's presence without the usual animosity.

Before they knew it, the seven minutes are up, and the door opened to reveal their friends eagerly waiting outside. Chuuya steped out first, his cheeks slightly flushed, hand over his hat to cover his face, but he quickly regained his composure.

Dazai followed suit, giving a casual grin. However this time, it felt different, as if something has subtly shifted between them. Their friends raised their eyebrows, sensing the change in the dynamic, but neither Dazai nor Chuuya says a word.

“It becomes a small secret they share, a moment of vulnerability that they'll cherish and hold onto as they navigate the complexities of their relationship in the future.

Dazai swiftly walked closely beside Chuuya as they followed their friends back to the party. His lips near Chuuya’s ear. His voice was smooth and deep, sounding like cool wine on a summer day. “Next time we share a small space together, I want to feel you more intimately than just staring, okay Chibi?”

Chuuya blushed crimson red, glaring at the taller man in embarrassment as ideas flashed in his mind. “Dazai! I swear- I will kill you!”

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Author’s notes: Thank you so much for reading! I made this in the middle of the night after listening to a 7 minutes of heaven asmr (no questions). Hm… ANYWAYS these two men are so fun to tease! Oh, if I was isekai-ed into the Bungo Stray Dogs universe, they way I’d die is teasing Soukoku. I’d have no regrets. 👌☺️👍

[silentwillowwhisperer]

Tattoo AU pt. 5

Hiii! I used a few curse words in this, if that bothers you. It's literally Keith's morning brain being too tired to pretend to have a filter.

Wait. Do they know each other's last names? Whatever it's fine.

Keith's messages are normal text

Lance's messages are bolded

--------------------------------------------

Saturday, May 5th 5:48 AM

Keith! Hi! Guess what? I have your number

5:56 AM

Are you ignoring me?? Gasp! Offence taken

2 missed calls from Unknown Number

6:07 AM

Keiiiith Buddy? My man? I thought we bonded the betrayal stings

Keith checks his phone.

He had just woken up at 10 AM for work like a normal person to find someone spamming him.

He stares at the screen. What are the chances that this is a serial killer trying to get information from him so that they can murder him in his sleep?

Pretty high.

But does his curiosity outweigh his caution? Yep.

Before he seals his fate, though, he texts Shiro.

Saturday, May 5th 10:37 AM

Hey If I die, I want you to know that I like you almost as much as Kosmo Make sure to have my gravestone include a reasonable amount of curse words I'm thinking something like, "This fucker was glad to go, the world can go to shit. Also, strawberries are superior. Later, bitches."

He ignores Shiro's frantic responses, and goes back to the unknown number's contact.

Saturday, May 5th 10:43 AM

Hi. If you're trying to kill me, please make it cool. I'd hate be they guy to die from food poisoning or some crap like that could you make it some kind of murder mystery? I've always wanted to be the subject of one of those

10:45 AM

Ummm What? Dude It's me. Lance. Why would you want to get murdered?? I just wanted to invite you to a picnic Me Hunk, and Pidge are going You know, the others from the day we met?

10:51 AM

Dammit Can you send me the address?

Keith drives into the parking lot of a picturesque park. It's well hidden from the road, so there's almost no one else there.

He pulls of his helmet and spend a minute smoothing down his hair. His dark locks are already an unruly mess, but the helmet makes it 10 times worse.

The second he looks up, he sees Lance waving wildly at him from across the lot. The guy jogs over with a grin.

"Hey! You're here! For a second I though you were just pretending to agree just to shut me up! You really aren't horrible, Kogane."

Keith doesn't tell Lance that he had been planning on doing exactly that.

The picnic blanket is red and checkered, as it should be. It is set up under a huge tree next to a lake. Keith can see Hunk and Pidge playing frisbee about 10 feet away from it, probably so that they don't accidentally hit the food.

He and Lance sit with their backs to the tree for at least 30 minutes.

It should be awkward, but it isn't. The wind blows through their hair and several birds fly past them. Neither of them says a word, but they can both fell the comfortable silence humming between them.

They'd never admit it, but they both fell the pang in their chests when Hunk jogs over for lunch.

The three of them are easily 5 times as talkative as Keith, but he doesn't mind. It's kind of nice to watch them converse as he eats his lunch.

No, he's not creepy, leave him alone.

Sometimes they'll ask him a question or send him a grin. They seem to catch on pretty fast that Keith isn't feeling left out, he's just quiet. He appreciates that, it always annoys him when people try to force him into a conversation.

They do learn a few things about him, like how he dropped out of high school at age 16, and then proceeded to attend art school for 4 years to get his degree.

After they finish, they run aimlessly around the park for a while. Sometimes they chase each other, and sometimes they just run side by side, but there are absolutely no rules.

Keith finds himself enjoying it. As much as he loves Shiro, he can be so uptight sometimes. The same goes for Allura. It's been a while since he's done anything just for the heck of it.

When he gets to the tattoo parlor later that day, he has a lightened step and even Kosmo picks up on his good mood.

Maybe he should hang out with these people more often.

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

[fivveweeks]

hi its me it's verdante angst anon (angstnon? idk) again

shaking ur hand SHAKING UR HAND you get me you get me you fuciigndnsn get me

"They're a tragedy, the both of them. Dante's fine with that. (They have to be, they have no choice in this) Given enough time a tragedy turns into a comedy. Maybe they'll be able to laugh about this in the end. Maybe it'll even be divine."

you don't undertsysnds how feral i am about these two. i am firm staunch zealous believer in verg not seeing himself being worthy of like anything good not until he has payed for his sins or wtvr he wants that to mean. i think he exercises a lot of self control to make sure he has like an arm and a leg and several bodies worth of space between him and anyone trying to get close to him (xcept Charon ofc). actively turns and runs from that shit bc 1. he doesn't deserve it. 2. he literally does not have the time for that shit

dnate on the other hand— chronic workaholic, to the point they can and will push personal feelings aside for the sake of their job. if u look up the word professionalism you WILL see Dante Limbus Company as a synonym. they keep their feelings in check (under several locks and keys) in the back of their mind aging like fine wine. they're aware they're not a choice and they're okay with it. it's their fault anyway, they're such a silly little fool.

it has always been doomed from the start. do you understand? it has always been hopeless. it was never meant to be.

dante knew/knows/accepts this, they do not have a choice. (but then again when do they ever?)

ANON YOU'RE SO FUCKING INSANE I NEED TO TWIRL U AROUND LIKE HOLY SHIT U GET IT!!!

YOU HAVE NO IDEA how much of a firm believer i am about Dante being a chronic workaholic. NOBODY FUCKING TALKS ABOUT IT YET BUT literally i do not think they need to sleep/they cannot sleep/gets little to no sleep at all and instead spends all their time up night reviewing battle plans and rewatching past battles on their little PDA. its a combination of anxiety and wanting to step up as a better manager (if we take into account of limbus players dissecting the gameplay meta of EGOs and ids we can literally translate that into Dante pouring over how to better manage the sinners). god forbid them from stepping out of line due to personal feelings bc they a) do not want to piss off vergilius and risk his wrath b) do not want to piss off vergilius bc they respect him (and like him) as a coworker, a boss, a color fixer and their guide too much. they are the EPITOME of professionalism. their work and responsibilities as a manager COMES FIRST

Vergilius too, you put it into words on him as a person. Literally he doesnt think he deserves it AND he doesnt have the time for that shit (for real verg in canon seems to really hate ppl wasting his time over trivial shit). i think even theres some distance between him and charon but he mostly crosses the space bc he's too guilt bound to deny charon some form of connection (bc it is his fault in the first place), so he is soft to her and her only.

it's like watching two parallel lines running along each other and no matter how close they get they will NEVER touch ever. ISNT THAT A TRAGEDY???

but its not all angst, they at least find a little light in the situation. verg would come to appreciate how dante respects him and his circumstances and would be pleased that they are like-minded enough to keep things professional between them, so he is comfortable in confiding in dante on certain topics (in canto 2 where verg and dante stands together by the side to watch the sinners get their ass peeled and verg telling dante why they should experience it for once lives rent free in my head bc he actually bothered to explain to dante wauhgshfh). he admits that dante is the only sinner that he can have a convo with. he fucking told dante to not befriend him after sharing a little history on charon. dante would appreciate the little moments they get to spend with him

just brief pockets of time with each other, despite everything. i like to think they are both the kind of ppl who would accept that things are just not meant to be, so they will take what little they can (what little they're allowed).

in the grand scheme of lcb and the city they are both nothing but a pair of pawns trying to make the best of their situation without getting in the way. they have no choice.

and to come across another who understands this is a rare, rare gem in their crapsack world, so how can we blame them for having a little bit of pining among the acceptance. mutual respect blooming into requited love that is unable to be acted upon. a divine comedy in its own right. im going to kms

[avatar-of-the-scribe]

Oooh, May I ask for headcanons, or maybe a story, of a very affectionate reader with Hank and 2B? It’s a ploy fluff request!

Going to assume this was meant as 'Poly' rather than 'Ploy', But I've got you! Hank, 2B and Reader Headcanons coming right up- hope you enjoy dear!

Hank x affectionate Reader x 2BDamned Headcanons

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

In general- it's hard to get time with both of them separately, so good luck getting both of them together at once. They can't exactly help it- they do love you! But Nevada isn't kind to anyone, and doesn't exactly give breaks... Especially to bigger figures like they are. But that being said, When the three of you ARE alone together- it's finally a fraction of peace in the fragmented reality of Nevada.

Hank at first was pretty weary of the fact you were so- touchy. To him, most touch wasn't the safest thing. He didn't flinch it anything but it was actually pretty clear that he was uncomfortable with the constant physical affection. Once he got more used to it as your way of showing love though he grew more comfortable with it!

2BDamned on the other hand- never admits that he doesn't mind it as much. From the start he'd grumble that 'Hes got work to do'... But he did enjoy the affection, since kinder actions were such a rarity. If you cuddled up to him and looked comfy... He'd find a way to let you stay close and still do his work though, a small smile hidden under his mask.

Hank isn't the best at returning the affection, can't give you kisses, and half the time this hands are shaking when he hugs you. But he has different ways to show it. Holding you close when you don't feel safe, gently bonking his jaws to your head in what he hopes comes across as a kiss- holding onto your hand so you know he's with you.

2B is a lot easier to track down to give your affections to- he's also not great with kisses, but at least he can give them! If he's not stitching someone back together, he'll let you cuddle with him and hold you close with one arm while he writes with the other. Pull him away to take a break and he'll grumble, but gladly go lay with you to give himself a moments peace. He'll let you play with his hair as it grows out before he shaves it again.

Getting both of them together? It's a calm sort of chaos, squished with them in each other's hold and ignoring the scent of blood and chill of death that clung to the three of you, ignoring the pain from any new injuries or aches of old ones. For the rare occasion you can hear a raspy, rumbling purr from Hank showing for once the homicidal maniac actually felt decently calm, and on your other side a softer one from 2B to show similar meaning.

Anyone who dares interrupt the time the time you three have together, either something is being thrown or someone's getting shot- just depends on if 2BDamned or Hank react to the intrusion first. Luckily Hank hasn't hit anyone fatally- yet. (But if Deimos' timing gets any worse, you might not be able to say THAT anymore.)

If you're busy or over stressed- they'll seek you out to try to help you relax like you help them. They aren't the best at affection like you are, but the two genuinely do try the best they can to show the same love you give them- the love they hold so near and dear to their hearts, in that special little place made for the love the three of you share. ♡

[deabruarenjarraitzaileaya-ha]

For the ship ask meme! Do as few or as many as you'd like, for AgoHiru, of course: 6, 18/20, 40, 46, 48

Thank you for the ask @beansterpie! We gotta keep agohiru alive somehow

These weren't answered in order, so sorry if it doesn't read too coherently from top to bottom or if there's some repetition...

6. How do they make up/apologize after an argument?

They... don't? You see, apologising would imply acknowledging that something is wrong, that they did something wrong, and that's just not their style.

Agon never apologises for betraying Hiruma in middle school, doesn't really explain why he did it, so they don't get to the root of the problem until much, much later, and their relationship recovers slower for it.

They will get better at communicating with time and maturity (I hope). For the time being, when the guilty party is tired of the cold shoulder, they'll tease and insult the other like normal, maaaybe a few inconspicuous acts of service...

18. How do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick?/20. How do they comfort each other when one of them is upset? Is this method of comfort effective?

They are both quite allergic to vulnerability and sentiment, so I think their go-to comfort method would be to treat the other as they always do, mainly heckling. I think both the upset/sick/wounded one and the one offering comfort would find this reassuring: pretending that everything is normal and as it should be. Not particularly healthy, but it kinda works for them?

That's if it's something serious. If one of them gets a cold, he's made fun of mercilessly.

40. Do they have any regrets in their relationship?

SHINRYUUJI lmaooo they both can get quite edgy about it too

Hiruma regrets letting his guard down and thinking he could anticipate Agon, regrets "letting him in" and showing enough of his soft belly that Agon knew right where to stab. At the internationals they are shown working together seamlessly, as if they hadn't spent the previous 2+ years feuding, but it's gonna take them a while to learn to truly trust each other again. Or at all, I'm not certain they ever reached that trust in middle school tbh

Agon won't ever admit he regrets anything, ever, in his life, but don't let him fool you. Right before he chose to steal Kurita's scholarship, I think he regretted hanging around Hiruma enough to feel things. And since he has the emotional maturity of a premature baby, instead of processing his frustration and jealousy like a normal person, he did that instead. And I don't think he regrets it per se but even if he tried to push him away and hurt him, Hiruma was the only thing he had close to a friendship , so I don't think he was fond of the consequences. It also leads more or less directly, with the creation of the Devil Bats and Sena's recruitment in particular, to his downfall as an unbeatable player. Which is ultimately a good thing for him, both as a player and a person, but I'm sure there's some regret there.

46. Do they consider their relationship casual or serious? Is the answer different depending on who you ask? Why?

I mean, they've never been casual or normal about each other (I think it's pretty clear Shinryuuji happened because of Agon's possessiveness and jealousy, but I don't think that's what the question is going for...)

They both like to pretend it's not, but their relationship has always been serious: partners-in-crime, teammates, friends... Their romantic relationship, however, is another thing. Agon has 0 experience with meaningful relationships and starts off both with internalised homophobia and in denial, and Hiruma is ace and his main love is American football, so just getting them to realise and admit to romantic feelings is A Journey. After everything that's happened between them, they need to learn to trust each other, so I don't think they'd get it together until uni at the very least. When they do eventually get together, I think it'd still take them a bit of time to be on the same page about what the want and expect of their relationship, but they do eventually get there.

48. Do they talk about their future together? Why or why not?

Oh boy, this is quite the point of contention between them. The times they talk about it, it's... tense.

Hiruma loves American football and his goal is the NFL, even though his chances of actually getting in are quite low, he'll try his hardest and try any means to make it possible.

Agon learns to like amefuto with time, but he started playing because of Hiruma (directly or indirectly, we don't get confirmation in canon), and at least part of his enjoyment of it seems to be playing with Hiruma (the only time we see Agon laugh because he's enjoying himself is during his play with Hiruma against USA!! He himself acknowledges that!!). He doesn't seem to have any further ambition for himself, in amefuto or in life in general, so he'll probably keep playing as long as Hiruma does, wherever Hiruma is. If Hiruma doesn't get into the NFL, I don't think Agon would aim for it for himself, even though he probably has a good chance of getting in.

That would be SO frustrating for Hiruma, who's never been shown to be jealous of other people's talents, but he'd probably think Agon was wasting his genius. He definitely wouldn't appreciate Agon using him as a compass for his own life and goals, either. And furthermore, where does that leave them? There's no professional amefuto league in Japan, as far as I know. Would they be content playing on the semi-professional league? They are both geniuses who bore easily, they could do anything they wanted, but will anything be able to hold their interest if amefuto as a full-time occupation is not a possibility?

They both get frustrated whenever the subject is brought up, but they do need to talk about it eventually.

[half-algorithm-half-deity]

~ if [one of] the fabulous killjoys liked you (romantic headcanons) ~

(Note: this is referring solely to the 4 band members' characters in the Danger Days/Killjoys lore, not the members of MCR themselves.)

Party Poison

They think they're sly, but are really the most obvious person on the planet

Will go out of their way to impress you, but acts like they have no idea (i.e. *kills several dozen Dracs with sick karate moves to save you* "it was nothing 😌 just doin' what I love 🤪")

Super protective: even if it's not necessary, they'll put their life on the line for you.

"I don't like them!" *literally does the most romantic things save for actually saying the words* "Like I said, I feel nothing for them"

"I'm a badass through and through who feels no such weak thing like love." - Narrator voice: They were very much not a badass through and through, and very much did feel such weak things like love.

Even if they do admit it, they'll act like it's surface level, solely physical. It's not.

Love language as far as giving is acts of service (that can be assumed): will happily help you with pretty much anything, even if they have no idea what they're doing just to impress you make you happy

But when receiving is physical touch

Like, it really really is

Again, they'll never admit it, but they absolutely love any form of physical affection. Like, they just completely melt into a hug no matter how small it's supposed to be; definitely still thinks about that one time your hands brushed whilst reaching for the same thing two months ago; that one time you kissed them on the cheek rewired their brain entirely

Fun Ghoul

The most confident of them all

Happily admits it a thousand times - to the point that it seems like a joke

"Darling"

Doesn't act very different around you, other than being a lot more sincere in his compliments

Speaking of which

Love Language is words, words, words

Somehow he finds the perfect balance of constantly giving you praise while not making it seem forced or old or cheesy

Writes poetry - the one thing he won't show to the other Killjoys

You're the first person he's ever (willingly) shown

It can be about anything, too: life as a Killjoy, his life before being a Killjoy, the way the moonlight shines on the mountains in the desert - but they're usually about you

Calls you his muse

Always asks if things are okay if he thinks they may make you uncomfortable

Though he's a cocky guy, he's always got room to be respectful

If you're seriously hurt physically or mentally, all of his massive amounts of pride and dignity go out the fucking window faster than you can say "ego"

And finally, Honesty 3000™

Kobra Kid

Way less of a cold quiet tough guy than it seems once u get to know him

Somehow the others are more aware of his feelings than he is (and constantly try to get you two together) - unlike Party, he's just oblivious, not in denial

But once he is aware of his feelings...

Huge fucking romantic

Super gentle, completely contradictory to the cold stoicism everyone else expects

Usually quiet, but the more he likes you → the more comfortable he is around you → the more talkative he is

He'll talk to you for hours about anything - even with things he's never shared with the other Killjoys (save for maybe his sibling)

Also listens to whatever you have to say in turn, always as if it's the most fascinating topic ever

Lots of trust comes from this; you two trust each other more than any other Killjoy combination

Enjoys spending time with you, no matter what you're doing

You don't even have to be doing anything special together, just your general presence makes him happy

Like his sibling, loves physical touch, both giving and receiving

Specifically giving it casually: putting arms around your shoulder, hugging you from behind, hand caressing/holding, forehead/cheek kisses, leaning his head on your shoulder, or just standing close to you in general - it comforts him just as much as you, that casual contact

(Non-)competitive motorcycle races to secret rendezvous spots in the desert after dark >>>>>

Also the kind of guy who would gently hold your face as he kisses you

100% kisses your scars

If the opportunity presents itself, that is what he will do

He thinks of it as "healing the pain just a little further, not just on the surface, either"

At first it seems like a strange gesture but it's so sincere and sweet that it's practically impossible to hate or be embarrassed by

Asexual (technically not a romantic headcanon but still)

Jet Star

The opposite of Kobra, he knows full well what these feelings mean but gets very shy and reserved and would rather die than confide in the others about it, but again, it's super noticeable

In fact even more noticeable than Party, surprisingly

He won't say anything directly to you, but he'll pretty much do anything to show it

It can be fleeting or lingering touches, the smallest of compliments delivered with the feeblest of voices, very very longing looks (which the others all make fun of) and/or doing pretty much anything to be around you - preferably alone

Once he finally gathers the courage to confess, he'd probably just lose the words and kiss you

(which he's really, really good at doing but y'know it's whatever)

The sweetest lover anyone in the Zones could hope for

Affectionate af in pretty much all ways

No real particular love language, it's a lil bit of everything

But he'll especially bring you gifts of the things he finds in the desert - the most random stuff. A necklace he found in the ground; a rock that just barely is heart-shaped; a ray gun off a Drac he didn't know what to do with

Sharing cigarettes on the roof and indulging in music (both your guys' own and others') with you until the sun rises is his ultimate fantasy

Doesn't say anything about it, but loves it when you do any and all kinds of tasks either with or for him, it makes him feel especially appreciated

Thank you for reading my weird degenerate fantasies that no one asked to know, love u for it :)

~

[wonderlandleighleigh]

Tilting at Wind Mills

(Yes I know Bucky isn’t Jewish in the movies. No, I don’t care, he’s Jewish in every fic I write lol)

MCU/Mrs. Maisel Crossover.

1941

"I just don't see why I can't come with," Steve complains as he watches his friend get dressed up. "I'd be respectful."

"Because you can't fast," Bucky reminds him. "Yom Kippur is the one where you can't eat, remember? You'd black out in synagogue." 

Steve sighs. "Bring me leftovers from the break fast?" 

Bucky grins. "That I can do. Okay. Off to the Upper West Side I go. Wish me luck. Maybe I'll meet a rich, pretty girl."

It earns him an eye roll. "Leave."

He does. 

*****

He steps up in front of the ornate apartment building and adjusts his tie as his sister steps up to join him. 

"Ready for a fun-filled day of atonement with the family who has no idea what to do with us?" Ricky Barnes asks teasingly. 

"An entire day with the Sackville-Weissman's," Bucky jokes. 

Ricky rolls her eyes. "You and your Tolkein."

"If you'd just give it a chance-"

"Are you two going to come upstairs and join us?" 

It's a familiar voice. Tired and elderly, but infused with warmth, and soon both of them are wrapped in the arms of their grandfather. 

"Hi, Zeyde," they chorus. 

He chuckles. "Hello, kinder. I was just taking a walk. Getting away from the chaos of trying to convince Noah that God doesn't want him to eat today."

Bucky chuckles. "Every year with that kid." 

Chaim Weissman looks them both over critically. "You both look good. Strong. I was worried after your mother passed last year…"

"We're not that far away to check on, Zeyde," Ricky reminds him carefully. 

"That's on me," he admits. "Brooklyn is full of memories. I miss your mother very much. I never dreamed outliving one of my children." 

Bucky squeezes the man's shoulder. "Let's go check on Uncle Abe. See if he's blown a gasket yet."

*****

Services are long, and Bucky is hungry but he's got an eight-year-old girl cousin who is funny and they make dumb faces at each other when no one is looking. 

Noah and Midge are significantly younger than Bucky, but it's kind of nice. Noah is twelve and too smart. Midge, the aforementioned eight and funny and intuitive. 

Bucky isn't comfortable with his uncle and aunt's wealth (adding Sackville to the front of their name isn't a total joke), but he loves seeing his cousins and grandfather. 

These dinners used to end in arguments, before Bucky's mother passed away. About family responsibility. About money. About the fact that the Weissman's have quite a lot, while the Barnes branch rarely had enough (mostly due to Bucky and Ricky's father magically disappearing back in 37).

"You know, James," Aunt Rose tells him at break fast as their housekeeper (fuck, seriously?) serves the food. "There are some lovely girls I could introduce you to."

Zeyde tries not to roll his eyes. 

"I'm good, thank you," Bucky assures her. "I'm not really ready to settle down." 

"Of course not," Uncle Abe agrees. "He's young, Rose. He's sowing his oats." 

"And we’re likely going to war soon," Zeyde chimes in. "James is strong. They'll want him to fight." 

Midge taps him on the shoulder from next to him at the table and Bucky leans down to listen as she whispers in his ear. 

"Don't die, or I'll find you in the afterlife and give you a wedgie."

Bucky laughs and wraps her in his big arms, giving her a tight hug. "Okay, Midge. You got it." 

*****

1945

At thirteen, Miriam Weissman attends her first funeral. 

There's no body to bury, so it's really just a memorial for her cousin. 

Bucky was always nice to her. Good natured and charming. Quick-witted. On Hanukkah when she was six, he taught her to make potato knish from scratch while Zeyde critiqued from the kitchen table. 

"No side seat cooking," Bucky had joked. "You wanna teach her, you come over and teach her." 

There's a handsome blonde man -Captain America - speaking to the congregation about her cousin. About what kind of man he was, and it all rings true. 

Midge remembers Steve. He used to come with Bucky to dinners sometimes. Small. Always polite. When she was little, he drew her a pretty picture of a flower that she still has framed on her wall. 

He looks so deeply sad, and Midge looks at her hands to avoid crying. 

Captain America dies not long after Bucky does. 

She pulls the picture he drew off her wall and stows it away. 

****

1950

Just before he passes away, Chaim Weissman promises his pretty granddaughter he'll make good on that wedgie when he catches up to James in the afterlife. 

Midge laughs and cries at that. 

*****

November, 1954 

“Congratulations,” a soft voice says. The accent is British, and Midge frowns as she turns her head. 

She gave birth to her first child just a few hours ago, and she’s exhausted, so she’s not even sure if this is real, but there, sitting next to her is a beautiful woman. Brown hair. Brown eyes. Dressed in a sharp skirt suit. 

“Thanks?” Midge tries, blinking rapidly.  

The woman smiles. “We haven’t met. My name is Peggy Carter. I worked with your cousin, Sergeant Barnes and his friend, Captain Rogers.” 

Midge blinks rapidly, looking surprised. “I…did you find something? Did you find-” 

Peggy reaches out then, placing a hand on Midge’s. “I’m sorry. No. That isn’t why I’m here. I’m here to ask for your help.” 

“Me?” Midge asks. 

Peggy nods. “My agency has multiple operatives who work under deep cover,” she explains. “It’s very dangerous. It’s very isolating. It’s difficult for them, at times, to keep their humanity intact. Bucky spoke fondly of you. That you were his favorite cousin. I know that you’ll be busy with your new addition for a while. But after…I was wondering if I could send them your way for a warm meal every now and then.” 

Midge bites her lip. 

“You won’t be involved in anything they’re doing,” Peggy promises. “You won’t be asked to carry secrets. They’ll be sent in under the guise of old friends of your cousin’s. And in quite a few cases, it won’t be a lie. Just dinner.” 

Midge thinks about that for a moment. About how she wishes she could make knish with her favorite cousin again. 

And she nods. “Give me a few months to get this motherhood thing under control, and then send ‘em my way.” 

Peggy smiles at her. “You’ll get forty-eight hours warning each time. Expect a call in six months.” 

“Your friends better be ready for the best meal of their lives,” Midge smirks. 

The older woman chuckles as she gets to her feet. “You are very related to James Barnes.” 

“Damn right.” 

*****

1955 

“Who’s coming over for dinner?” Joel asks. 

Midge smiles. “Just an old friend of my cousin’s.” 

“And his name is Dum-Dum?” Joel scoffs. “What the fuck kinda name is that?” 

Midge shrugs and smiles wider. 

***** 

December 1957

At eight months pregnant with baby number two, Midge knows she shouldn't be running around late at night, but she forgot the extra potatoes for the knish tomorrow and she can't sleep anyway, so she finds herself at a corner market. 

There's only one other shopper this late and he's a big man in a bulky coat, gathering pears into a bag. 

There's something unsettling about the man. And familiar. 

"Late night snack?" She asks. 

He glances at her. 

"I forgot the potatoes for the knish. My husband hates them but I love them." 

Still no answer, but he becomes more familiar the more she looks at him. 

Midge tilts her head. "You remind me of someone." 

He drops his pears and storms out.

She frowns down at them, laying on the floor, the only evidence the man was ever there at all. 

*****

1964

Lenny Bruce loves his second wife but some fucking times he is very confused by her. 

Like now. 

He's hanging out with her on tour in California. It's late. He's tired. But he's chasing after her as her heels click quickly down the street. 

"Midge-"

"Saw a ghost!"

"Midge, for christ sake, what does that even mean?" 

"What do you mean what does that mean? It means I saw a ghost."

"Friend or foe?" Lenny asks. 

"Family."

"So both."

She stops and frowns as she looks around the empty LA street. "I could have sworn…" 

Lenny catches up, taking her hand and giving her a gentle tug. "Midge, talk to me."

Midge bites her lip, looking around and then back at him. "I had a cousin die in action in 45."

Lenny frowns. "I didn't know…"

"Papa had an older sister," Midge explains. "She had two kids, and one was a boy. James. His name was James and he was fun. Nice to me. Anyways, I…they never recovered his body, and…just before Esther was born I ran into someone who looked…so much like him. In the eyes. And now…" 

"That guy on the corner?" 

She nods. 

He pulls her close. "You know, grief is strange, and long, Sweetheart. I'm not saying you're crazy, but this might be leftover shit from his death."

Midge considers that, cuddling in against him. "I guess it could be. I was so sure, though." 

"Evening, folks," a man says with a smile as he walks up. "Late for anybody to be wandering around."

"Well, we're comics," Lenny explains. "Terrible creatures of the night. And ghost hunters, apparently."

"Say, you're Lenny Bruce and Midge Maisel," the man marvels. "I don't suppose I could get an autograph." 

Midge smiles kindly and unwraps from Lenny. "If you've got paper and pen, we've got autographs. Who are we making it out to?" 

"Alexander," he replies, as he pulls out a little pad of paper and a pen. "Alexander Pierce." 

Lenny watches the man as he waves the pen in a strange way, and suddenly the street seems to settle around them in a way it hadn't before. As if someone who wasn't supposed to be there in the first place had gone. 

He signs quickly, letting Midge make small talk with this Pierce guy, and when they finally head back for their hotel, Lenny is so fucking relieved. 

*****

2014

The Village Vanguard 

"Good evening, everyone. I'm Mrs. Maisel and Captain fucking America is sitting in the back, holy shit."

The crowd- Steve included - laughs. 

"I have a secret to tell you," she says closely to the microphone. "I knew Captain America when he was just a scrawny Brooklyn kid who could get knocked over by a stiff breeze. And boy fucking howdy do I have stories." 

Steve laughs more and shakes his head. Sam is laughing too. 

"Have you ever watched a 98 pound gentile try to flirt with the tallest Jewish girl in the room?" Midge asks. "Let's settle in. It's summer, 1939. He is the only goy at our Catskills resort, and he is in it to win it with Shira Farber, who is six foot one and could break him in two. Now, as a little girl I just thought it was silly. As an adult? I have to ask: Steve, are you just really into women stepping on you? Because that is what would have happened if you'd succeeded." 

The audience laughs and Steve rubs his face. "I asked for this by showing up, didn't I?"

"Getting roasted by an 81 year old woman who's done it professionally since the 60s? Yeah." 

"Is it wrong to talk about Captain America and sex?" Midge asks. "Does being a symbol of the ideal America preclude you from wanting a good fuck? Not that he has to want to fuck, but is it because he doesn't want to fuck or because the government doesn't want him to fuck? I bet those USO girls back in the day knew the answer to that question." 

Sam slowly looks at Steve. 

Who turns red. 

"I mean that begs the question: is the American dream sexless?" Midge asks. "We've always been disturbingly puritanical, haven't we? My late husband got arrested how many times for dirty jokes? Where is the we like to fuck political party? Where's the candidate handing out Plan B at their town halls? You know. Just in case. Sure, we want liberty, but a lot of us also want orgasms. What is congress' plan to increase getting off in the coming fiscal year? Not that kind of coming. I mean I hope I'll be coming sometime in the next fiscal year." 

Sam laughs loudly at that. 

"Yeah, Mr. Falcon thought that was funny. I bet he fucks." 

Steve laughs at that one as Sam shrugs sheepishly. 

"Can you imagine being the woman to take Captain America's virginity?" Midge asks. "Steve, when you made it with a woman for the first time, did you sing the National Anthem?" 

Steve laughs and plays along. "My Country Tis of Thee!" He calls back, making the audience, and Midge laugh. 

"Good answer," Midge praises. "People think Captain America, they think patriotism. They think of earnest heroism. I think that guy at the Seder table who insisted on eating the horse radish and then hogged the bathroom for an hour. Steve, you were not the only one with a sensitive stomach that night Steve." 

"Seven days of Passover, seven days of lighting a scented candle in the bathroom because you may think Captain America's shit smells like fresh apple pie, but I can assure you it does not." 

Amidst the applause she beams. "I'm Mrs. Maisel. You've been wonderful. Captain America is still a great sport. Thank you and goodnight!" 

*****

Midge smiles at them as she sits in the little dressing room. 

"Hi, Midge," Steve grins sadly. "Great set." 

"Thanks for playing along," she says. "But I'm guessing you're here about Bucky." 

Steve nods solemnly. "I guess you heard."

"Hard not to," Midge tells him. "When they didn't find the body, his sister and my grandfather held out hope that maybe he'd survived…and now I know that the handful of times I thought I saw him, I probably did. Maybe…maybe he remembered me a little through the brainwashing." 

"We're gonna find him," Sam promises. 

She smiles sadly. "If you do, tell him Cousin Midge says hello." 

*****

2018

To the Ruler of Wakanda, King T'Challa 

My name is Miriam Weissman-Bruce. The world at large mostly knows me as Midge Maisel, and I make people laugh for a living. 

We've never met, but it seems your country is currently taking care of a family member we all thought had died back in the 40s. 

I write to you because he hasn't returned any of my letters. I know he's received them. Wakandan mail is top notch, and I know he has the ability to write back; The idiot lost his non-dominant hand. 

I think he's too ashamed to talk to me. 

I write to you not just to complain like the truly Jewish woman I am, but to request permission to visit him in Wakanda. I ask no special treatment (though if you have comedy clubs, I'd be more than happy to perform and make fun of America for your citizens), I only want to see James sooner rather than later. I'm pushing 90. I'm figuring I don't have time for him to get his shit together. 

Can I say 'shit' to foreign royalty? I guess I'll find out. 

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Miriam "Midge Maisel" Weissman-Bruce 

*****

Bucky Barnes narrows his eyes as Ayo holds the hand of a small, shriveled white woman, helping her through the field toward Bucky’s hut.

“You know, I know several fashion designers who would cut off their own left foot to make clothes for you,” the older woman chats. “Really. You are stunning. And so tall.” 

Bucky squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head, realizing who the old woman is. He holds back tears and takes a breath. “Everybody’s tall to you Midge. You’ve been short your whole life.” 

“The curse of the Ashkenazi Jewish woman,” Midge jokes. “Short as fuck.” 

“What is she doing here, Ayo?” 

“She petitioned our king for a visit,” Ayo tells him. “And she promised him a comedy show. And then when she got here, she insisted on cooking for the royal family to express her gratitude.” 

“We’re Jews,” Midge chimes in. “We’re very good at feeding people.” 

“Are you telling me you made dinner, and I missed it?” Bucky asks, feeling deeply disappointed suddenly. 

“It’s tomorrow night,” Midge assures him, waving the free hand that isn’t holding onto Ayo. “I was told I had to come knock some fucking sense into you first.” 

“Sense?” Bucky asks, offended.

“Fucking sense,” Midge corrects him. “Not responding to my letters. What the fuck, James?” 

“I like her,” Ayo grins as she helps Midge settle onto a little bench near the hut. “I cannot believe you are related. She is much funnier than you are, Barnes.” 

“Well, she did make a career out of it,” Bucky points out. 

Midge looks up at him curiously. “You’ve heard my material?” 

“When I found out, I bought all your records,” he tells her, sitting next to her and taking her hand. “Hi, Midge.” 

Her eyes well up with tears and her unsteady hand squeezes his. “Hi, Bucky. How’s life?” 

“Oh, you know,” he shrugs his shoulders. “I caught some fish yesterday.” 

Midge laughs and shakes her head. “My husband loved to fish. You would have hated him and then loved him after you got to know him better.” 

Bucky smiles, letting go of her hand to wrap his arm around her. “Tell me all about it.”