#Broken Cirlce

[enderevynne]

DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS ➤ COMPANION GIFS: Sten

↳ Funny Moments - Broken Circle

omg I love him so much 😂

[teddynivvy]

ted is a munch for HIS pleasure and that’s all i have to say

i been WAITIN for this one.... turn it up! (afab!reader, nsfw, use of she/pretty girl, slight dom!ted)

teddy who can't get away from your thighs. sucking and nipping at the soft skin there, making you squirm underneath him, his broad palms pushing them apart so he can get at every inch of you.

he enjoys it - watching you be so needy, one hand fisting the sheets beside you and the other hand deep into his fluffy brown hair, tugging on it in just a way that allows him to know what you need.

he'd already been at you for a while - taking his time with you. laying you down softly on the bed, teasing your thighs and pussy lips with his fingers, barely giving you anything to work with as you got so pent up for him. you began to beg, trying to push his face towards your core - but his hands just played with the soft skin there, until you were ready for him.

"teddy," you breathe out, your moans filling the air as he laps at your clit, sucking and moaning while his hard cock lightly brushes against the fabric of the blanket underneath you. he's already leaking from the friction of just that - coupled with the way your pussy tastes and how ready you are for him.

his fingers are pumping in and out of you at a bruising pace, cold metal of his rings bumping against your hole as you fuck yourself on them. he's reduced you to a whining mess, the only thing coming to your mind is his name, for you to breathe out in a pitiful attempt to get him to let up, if only for a minute.

"i'm s-s-so close, teddy, please," you look down at him, eyes flickering up to meet your needy ones as he continues, lips suckling on your clit as a hand comes up to pinch at your hard nipple. "not yet," his fingers continue inside of you as you feel your thighs start to tremble. "pretty girl can use her words, can't she?"

"mmph, fuck - yes," you bite your bottom lip. "can i come all over your f-fingers?" he cocks an eyebrow, licking harder and faster at you, bringing you to a soft whimper. "please, oh my god, please," you beg, feeling the familiar knot in your stomach begin to unravel.

"you're gonna come all over my fingers, aren't you?" he smiles, muffled by his mouth being pushed deep into your pussy, his tongue licked a stripe over you, making you shudder, watching as his own cock rutted against the sheets below him, pink tip almost ready to explode with you.

"yes, yes teddy," you felt the white-hot sensation along the back of your thighs, burning as they were being pushed open, waves of an orgasm on their brink and ready to crash over you at any second.

"come for me," he drank you in like a man parched - taking all of you, when you felt him start to suckle on your clit, hard and fast. it took seconds for you to give in, chest heaving and a cry coming from your lips as you tugged on his hair and pressed yourself into him. he felt himself shudder and curled his fingers inside, broken moans falling from your lips and your hand finding release from the sheet, coming down to lay your head on the soft pillow beneath you.

he kissed up your body as he finished you off, lapping up every last bit of wetness from your aching cunt. he smiled as he pressed a sloppy kiss onto your lips, tasting of yourself and him, warm and wet.

"your turn," you smiled playfully, and his cheeks turned a familiar pink. "i, uh, - i finished already," he admitted, kissing on your neck and chest. "you're just so fucking hot i um, already came." you raised your eyebrows, carding through his hair with your fingers, and tracing cirlces on his back. "just from... eating me out?" he nodded, kissing up your jaw and back onto your lips. you looked over his back to see the wet spot on the bed sheet, splattered with his cum, from where he was rutting up against them. "oh, teddy," you smiled softly, kissing his forehead. "let's go get cleaned up then."

[shinycollarboneapologist]

Dilf Matty building the crib all sweaty in a tank top and his grey curls

you get it.

you’re already incesscently hormonal and sweaty due to the growing bump attached to your midsection and the heatwave in the middle of june. you both tried so hard to not be in this predicament, but as most know, there's no real way to plan to get knocked up by your sexy, insane-sex-drive-having fiance. so you both rolled with the punches, and here you are- middle of june, fanning yourself as you watch matty expertly (he watched a few youtube videos and facetimed adam) build the crib.

his pink tongue is poking through his plush lips, brow furrowing in deep concentration. the thin button up he adorned over his black tank top is thrown somewhere else, and there's a line of sweat that's permeating through the darkened gray curls along his hairline. he puffs out a few groans every now and then, specifically when he mistakes the small wooden dowels for the slightly smaller wooden dowels and he has to take apart the section he's been working on.

you're draped along the chaise in the nursery, one hand rubbing small cirlces over your swollen stomach as the other fans you in an attempt to keep cool. "baby, why don't we just call the company and have them send out the experts?" you plea, watching him exert himself has just made you feel ten times warmer- and you're not sure if its because of the heat of the room or the growning need between your thights.

he scoffs, "i am an expert. besides, want to build something for our little peanut."

"you did have a hand in actually building the peanut," you hum.

matty tilts his head up from what he's doing, devilish smirk toying on his lips. "yeah, i did." he runs his tongue over his lips before his gaze softens, "but i want this to be special for them. our little bean."

hearing him talk about your unborn child has more of a reaction on you then you'd care to admit. there's a shiver that runs down your spine, icier in comparison to the heat that's been pulling at your skin for hours now.

"take a break," you plea, chewing on the inside of your cheek.

"my love, i'm almost done," he's resumed his focus on the wooden pieces once more. he's not almost done, he's far from it. way too far from it to give you what you need, at least.

"matty."

"baby, i promise. i'll be yours in a moment, and then we can watch that new documentary you've been fiening for," his eyes barely lift.

"don't want to watch that documentary anymore," you groan, "just want to watch you between my thighs."

the wooden plank falls from his hands and there's a silence that casts over the room. its broken only by the way he clears his throat. once, twice, three times.

"oh."

its no secret that the welcoming of the second part of your pregnancy has brought out a bit of a beast within. your sex drive was high before, usually fueled by matty's own higher drive. but ever since the beginning of your fifteenth week, you've been incorrigible.

and matty loves it (despite having a hard time keeping up recently).

"have i been neglecting you today, my love?" he pouts his lips teasingly, the assorted pieces of wood quickly forgotten as he crawls to where you're sat.

you nod once and he sighs, "i'm so sorry. what's got you all worked up like this, hm?"

"just watching you. hearing you grunt and groan, and that shirt. god, that shirt."

"s'just a shirt, love," he tantalizes, yet he's already bunching up the long hem of your sundress in his hands. he pushes it up slowly, pressing a kiss to each inch of skin that is exposed.

"but you look so sexy in it," you whine out. his tongue trails a heated line up to the apex of your knee. he nips at the tender skin, soothing it with his tongue.

"oh do i?" he continues kissing up past your knee and thighs, pushing the hem of the dress up and over the curve at your hips.

"you do. so this is really not my fault this time, s'all yours."

he mocks your whine as he kisses across your thighs, lithe fingers coming to move the soddened center of your underwear to the side, "guess i better clean up the mess i made then, right?"

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Let's Not Talk About It

Gator Tillman x Kirby Rivers (OC)

[ Kirby's Bio ] [ part one ]

♤ Summary: Gator gets his arm broken, shows up at Kirby's the next morning. Both of them are bad at talking about their pain.

♤ Warnings: canon × oc pairing, nonbinary/trans oc, oc uses he/they pronouns, drug use, angst, mentions of past abuse

♤ A/N: just gonna keep mentioning @jozstankovich because they're my little cheerleader and i love them so! Suprise! Have another chapter! There might be oooonnnee more after this! 🤭 Reblogs and comments are cherished and loved! 💖🍒💖

♤♤♤♤

Kirby had just slid underneath Mrs. Abernathy's blue Honda when he heard Gator's truck pull in. He slid the oil bucket under, popped the canister out and let it drain before sliding back out as Gator's footsteps approached, too slow. And far too early in the morning.

Kirby squinted up at him, ignoring the little swoop in their stomach at seeing him so early in the day, squinting against the barely risen sun, his eyes land on the cast on his arm, then the cirlces under his eyes. He lays there, on his back looking up as Gator stops near his feet.

"Well you look like shit." Kirby says, one eye squinted shut as the sun shines down around Gator's shoulders.

"Gee thanks." Is all Gator says. Kirby nods, takes a deep breath.

"Lemme get this changed real quick. There's coffee inside if you want some." Kirby slides back under the car as Gator heads for the house. They do their best to not get oil all over themselves. Doesn't work. Kirby rolls back out from under the car, job done, oil covering his hands and dripping down his arms.

"Fucks sake." He mutters as Gator walks back out, two mugs in his hands. He takes one look at Kirby and sets their cup on the workbench before taking a careful sip of his own.

"Wasn't this car just here?" Gator nods to the Honda, eyes moving over it like he thinks it's gonna jump at him or something. Or maybe he's just focusing on it so he doesn't have to look at Kirby. Either way, his eyes stay glued to the car, and away from Kirby.

"Yeah. It's Mrs. Abernathy's. I guess her husband used to tinker all the time. Just everyday. He used to be doing something to it." He grabs a rag, starts wiping at his arms.

"He passed away about six months ago. So she keeps bringin' in to me. I think it makes her feel better to have somebody workin on it." Kirby shakes his head, grabs the bottle of orange scub soap off the work bench and squirts a pool of it into his palm.

"There's not really much needs done to it. But I like to check the simple stuff, windshield wipers, plugs, oil changes, tire pressure. All that kinda stuff." He walks over to the  faucet on the side of the garage, turns it on and rubs the soap over his hands all the way up to his elbows.

"You charge her for all'a that?" Gator asks, eyebrows raised as he glances Kirby's way, watches him lather his arms, scrubbing the oil off his skin.

"Huh? Naw. She buys weed too, on her way out, I just let that cover it." They shove their hands under the water, wincing at the cold.

"And don't be tellin anybody else that. I don't wanna hear about one of you deputies charging that nice old lady with drug possession or some shit." He points his finger accusingly at Gator. He raises his free hand, the one sporting the nice new cast, moves his fingers over his lips and mimes tossing the key over his shoulder.

"Mhm. You better." Kirby wipes his wet arms and hands on his clean-ish coveralls, he'd actually had the sense to not wipe the oil there today.

"So what happened to your arm?" They lean back against the work bench, pick up the mug of coffee and take a sip. Gator's eyes hit the ground immediately, his shoulder jumping once.

"Broke it." Is all he says.

"Oh yeah? Is that why they put casts on people? I just thought people were trying to spice up their lives. Do you like the spice girls?" Kirby asks, head tilted to the side. Gator just blinks at him, frowning.

"Yeah. They don't really seem like your type of music. Though I mean you never know. Some people like all kinda stuff. Maybe you should give'em a try." Kirby shrugs, looks Gator pointedly up and down.

"Might spice up your mood at least." Kirby smiles when Gator looks at him, levels him with a bitchy scowl.

"Funny." Gator says, voice dry. Kirby snorts at him, gives him a toothy grin and a little eyebrow wiggle, takes another sip of coffee, and lets the quiet of the morning settle over them for a minute. Gator keeps his eyes away, looking out over the junkyard, the sun hitting his face turning his skin gold. Kirby looks him up and down again, no Sheriff's vest today, and no Sheriff's hat. Just his white and green cap, backwards, sunglasses on the back, doing him no good as he squints into the sun.

He's got his carhart on, jeans, boots. He looks different this way, holds himself different. Kirby watches him switch his coffee mug to his good hand with a grimace.

"You wanna talk about it?" Kirby tries, leaning forward a bit, his butt still against the workbench. Gator glances his way, eyes dark, and takes a drink, says nothing. Kirby nods.

"Got it. Fair enough." They scratch at their hair, look at their nails for a minute, noticing all the dirt they missed. Kirby chews as some loose skin on his thumb, eyes moving over Gator again. His shoulders are tense, his legs too, he hasn't kicked at the dirt in the yard once this morning.

"You wannaaaaa ...smoke about it?" Kirby offers, waiting for Gator to turn to him before he dips two fingers into the big front pocket of his overalls and drags a joint out, wiggling his hand. Gator takes a deep breath, his shoulders relaxing a bit, and nods, looking tired, but Kirby sees a small smile there too..

"Cool. Let's go inside. Way more comfortable. And there's food in there. Which we will need, obviously." Kirby tucks the joint behind his ear and heads for the door. Gator falls in line next to him, his steps in synch, his shoulder bumping into Kirby's and staying pressed there as they walk to the house. Warmth blooms through Kirby at the contact, he shakes his head, tells himself it's just the morning sun.

~°~

"You need any pain meds?" Kirby asks, their feet kicked up next to Gator's as they both melt into his couch, pressed together from knee to shoulder, the tv playing some old black and white movie.

"I got some. Just the regular shit. Like Tylenol or whatever." Gator shakes his head slowly, takes a drag, passes it back to Kirby.

"If you need somethin stronger let me know." Kirby takes a drag, taking care not to burn his fingers as the blunt shrinks down, and drops the last little bit into the ashtray on the table between their feet.

"You sell stronger shit?" Gator asks, head turning in their direction, resting on the back of the couch. Kirby turns too, shakes his head.

"No. I bought stronger shit. For me. And I'm offering to share one or two with you. Different thing." Kirby corrects, patting Gator's knee, he contemplates leaving his hand there, just resting on Gator. But they don't wanna push, don't wanna chance that it'll freak him out, make him run, so he pulls back, drops his hand on his stomach and closes his eyes.

"Maybe one." Gator sighs, Kirby opens their eyes to see him wincing, clenching and unclenching his casted hand. Kirby nods.

"If you wanna like... take a nap or something too, you can. Won't bother me none. I gotta get back to work soon." Kirby leans up, pulling himself from the couch, is about to stand up when Gator's hand touches his back. Kirby freezes, their breath catching in their throat as Gator's warm fingertips move over the skin across his shoulder blades, exposed under his overalls cuz he never puts on a shirt underneath.

"Why do you need strong pain meds?" Gator practically whispers it, his voice so low Kirby leans toward him, hears Gator hum when they don't answer, his fingers moving in slow circles across his skin making Kirby's head feel a little fuzzy.

"Um... it's- well cuz I'm in pain. A lot." Kirby stumbles over the words, when Gator presses his palm flat against his back, right over his spine, between his shoulder blades. Kirby can't help the shiver. Isn't used to such gentle touches. Especially not from Gator. He swallows roughly, looks over his shoulder to see Gator looking at him, his eyes hooded, but on him.

"Pain from what?" Gator moves his hand, over to Kirby's shoulder, and back across, his fingers tickling the base of Kirby's neck.

"Just pain. Chronic. From working on cars. My hands. My- my back. Sometimes my hips but that's- from somethin else." Kirby shakes his head, rolls his eyes at himself a bit, looks back to Gator and finds a small smile on his lips.

"From what?" He asks, his fingers trailing down Kirby's arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

"Oh just, stupid kid shit. Ya know, jumpin off shit I shouldn't have. Bein friends with the wrong people. Normal shit." They shrug, their eyes not able to meet Gator's now. His fingers dance down their wrist and then smooth over the back of his hand where it's resting on his thigh. Gator's hand is warm where it covers his. And it does, cover his. Though that's not much of a feat, Kirby's got small fucking hands, small like the rest of him. He stares, watches Gator curl his fingers around and under, holding his hand like it's something precious.

"Wrong people. Did somebody hurt you?" Gator asks, leaning up himself now, his shoulder pressed to Kirby's back. Kirby swallows, feels how dry his throat is and tries not to cough.

"I mean. Yeah. Lotta people have hurt me." He shrugs, his shoulder moving against Gator, jostling him the smallest amount. Gator drops his head to Kirby's shoulder, his eyes falling shut as he nods against him.

"Who hurt you?" Kirby asks, turning his hand under Gator's, he'd tried so hard not too, to keep still, but they had to, had to touch him, to hold his hand. Gator's fingers lace between his, his head still on Kirby's shoulder.

"Some asshole. Got the jump on me. Snapped both bones with one hand. How fuckin crazy is that?" Gator mumbles, not lifting his head. A pang of worry, and fear, shoots through Kirby's chest.

"Yeah. Crazy." He breathes, his thumb soothing over Gator's.

"Might take you up on the nap Kirb." Gator sighs, nuzzling against their shoulder, his head moving back, til his nose is nearly pressed to Kirby's neck.

"Okay. You want the couch or the bed?" Kirby asks, can feel himself trembling now, Gator pulls his hand free, his arm snaking around behind Kirby, resting against his waist, but not holding him, not yet.

"Couch is pretty comfy." Gator mumbles, his nose brushing Kirby's ear as he moves.

"Bed's even better. I got all kinda pillows and blankets in there. Not to mention the insense. Nice and relaxing." Kirby bites his lip, his fingers moving over Gator's knee genlty. Gator snorts into his shoulder, his arm jumping against Kirby's waist, hand curling over his hip.

"You're such a fuckin hippy." Gator scoffs, genlty, into the skin of their shoulder, his hand giving Kirby's hip a squeeze before he leans back, eyes moving over Kirby's face slowly.

"But that does sound nice." He nods. Kirby nods back.

"Bed then." He says, forcing himself to stand, to pull himself away from Gator's warmth. It almost works. But Gator stands with him, his arm not moving from Kirby's waist.

"Bed." Gator nods, leans forward, ducks his head low and presses his lips to Kirby's naked shoulder, moves them across the skin there and then turns and walks away, his hand dragging over Kirby's back genlty as he pulls away.

"Bedrooms on the left right?" Gator asks, not turning back.

"Yep. Yeah. It's- yeah." Kirby sighs, watches Gator duck into his room and moves himself. He grabs a pain pill from the kitchen cabinet, and a glass of water, and follows him into the room.

Gator's alread settling down into the bed, his jacket thrown over the foot of it. Kirby hands him the pill, watches him take it, and sets the water on the nightstand.

"Get cozy. I'm gonna go change a tire and then investigate a mysterious 'click click' sound coming from Mr. Guthery's old ford." Kirby jerks their thumb over their shoulder toward the garage.

"You need to be up at certain time? Or can I just let you sleep?" Kirby rubs his hand over his arm, watching as Gator nods off in front of him.

"Gotta be home before dinner." Gator slurs, his face snuggling into Kirby's pillow.

"Kay. I'll wake you up at four if you're still sleeping. That okay?" Kirby's not expecting an answer. But Gator nods, hums low in his throat.

"Mhm. S'good." He sighs, his body visibly relaxing as he falls alseep. Kirby smiles down at him, shakes his head. He drags his finger over the blue cast on his arm, his stomach twisting with worry again. They trace their fingers tips over the frown lines between his brows, soothing them out til he looks peaceful.

Kirby brings his fingertips to his lips, presses a kiss there, then presses his fingers to Gator's temple, just a soft touch, Gator hums in his sleep, his lips twitching up into a small smile. Kirby smiles down at him, watches his chest rise and fall for a few more moment's, and then leaves him there to rest.

~°~

Kirby's making a sandwich around three when he hears Gator get up. He shuffles into the bathroom and Kirby smiles when he hears him stub his toe on the wonky sink vanity, curses echoing down the hall. They're grabbing for a tomato when they feel him.

Gator steps up behind them, presses himself against their back. Kirby's breath catches again, he drops the tomato and Gator snorts a laugh into his neck. His arms wrap around them, pull them close.

"How'd the 'click click' noise turn out?" Gator asks, chin resting on their shoulder. Kirby smiled, picked the tomato back up and started slicing.

"Turned out to be more of a 'clunk clunk' sound. And it was just an old muffler that needed replacing. Not too shabby for a days work." Kirby shrugged, making sure to move the shoulder Gator was on extra high. He made a strangled noise and poked at Kirby's side, they squirmed in his arms, plopping a slice of tomato onto their sandwich.

"You want one?" Kirby asks, glancing to the side, trying to see Gator's face. He tucks his chin down, pressing his lips to Kirby's sun warmed skin and shakes his head.

"Naw. I gotta go." He says, words muffled. Kirby hums, laughs when Gator reaches out, picks up a peice of turkey and shoves it in his mouth.

"I'll come back soon though." He says through his mouthful, hands moving to Kirby's hips.

"When I can." He shrugs, voice gone quiet. He tucks his face into Kirby's neck, his nose nuzzling right behind his ear. Kirby bites his lip to hold in the whine that threatens to crawl up his throat.

"Okay. Be- be careful." Kirby whispers, knows he sounds breathless, and worried. Gator's arms wrap back around him, pulling him close. Kirby feels his lips press to their neck, soft and warm.

"I'm always careful." Gator breathes the words against his neck, squeezes Kirby in his arms and then he's gone again. Shrugging his jacket on as Kirby watches him leave. He looks over his shoulder once as he goes, Kirby standing at the door, arms crossed, watching as Gator smiles at him before climbing into his truck and driving away with a little one finger salute.

Kirby watches him go, and tries to ignore the sense of worry blooming in chest. Tries to ignore the fact that it feels more like dread curling around his heart. Tries to ignore the sinking feeling that whatever it is, it's heading straight for Gator, and there's nothing he can do to stop it, or keep him safe from it.

He goes back inside, eats his lunch and smokes another half a joint. Then shuffles down the hall to his room. Kirby falls into their bed, pulls their pillow close, and sighs when they smell Gator's hair gel, the scent lingering on his pillow case. He holds it close, breathes Gator in, and drifts off to sleep hoping, and absently praying to a god he doesn't believe in, that Gator will be okay. That he'll be safe.

The nasty little voice that comes out to play when he's alone, and worried, or scared, whispers that he won't be, and there's nothing Kirby can do to change what's coming. He falls asleep frowning. Falls into the dark, and dreams of Gator screaming for help that won't come.

[sammysnaughtygirl]

my heart skipped a beat

warning adult content not suited for persons under 18 years of age" pairing Sam Winchester & Brooke Davis

the sky lite up like a firecracker on news years eve,everything seemed normal. the night was crisp the air was cool brooke enjoyed dancing in the streets to the music she could hear for miles .not even noticing when sam winchester walked into the scence she was in the moment like a child having her way .sam stood quitely waiting patiently watching her as she whirled her body in cirlces like water flowing down a stream.sam could hardly hold himself back he was so aroused by her dancing Sams eyes were clued to Brooke she was having the time of her life until she spotted Sam.when brooke,s eyes meet Sams it was like christmas ,Brookes whole body shooke as she looked at him ,she started walking toward him but she began running like her life depended on it .when she reached him she jumped up into his arms holding him in an embrace ,Sam placed his arms around Brooke and held her as tight as he could without giving her broken ribs i missed you so much Brooke confessed ,i missed you too Sam replies.he squeeses her tightly and kisses her sweetly on the cheek you have no idea how much ive missed you Sam sighs,oh,come on Brooke says give me a kiss i deserve much better than that dont you think? yes,Sam says as he leans down to brush his lips to hers ,a kiss that not only takes her breath away,but a kiss that makes them both realize how much that they have sacraficed ,makes them both realize how just how much the other means to them .Sam ,Brooke gasped as she pulls her head up to glance in Sams eyes,yeah,he answers i dont want you to leave again i dont think i can take it anymore i dont want to be without you.i know how you feel but i cant make any promises rember our deal? i do Sam but i dont think my heart can take it if you leave me one more time ,i might not be able to overcome it next time.Sam picks Brooke up and presses his warm lips to hers ,sliding his tongue into her mouth so she couldnt speak.the two carry on for ten minutes,until Brooke gives in ok you win for the moment but im not giving up i want this to change between us she spoke .Sam replied with a shaking of his head ,really sam i want more i want you in my life forever not just when you want to pop in and out that isnt fair to me ,or you for that matter Brooke said as she turned her back to him so he couldnt see as she started to cry ,Sam noticed something was wrong as he reached out to touch her he could feel the tears flowing from her eyes slowly.please dont dont that Sam pleaded,you know i cant always control these things ,my brother and i have work and it takes us away some times ,and for months at time,im sorry but its our job you know this.yes Sam i am aware of what you do but im asking you as she turns to face him im asking you to include me or this has to be over and done i cant ,i love you to much Sam i dont want to do it anymore without you.Sam slide his hand out to take hers its gonna be ok he instisted,i swear its gonna be ok as he hugged her tightly i promise . dont Brooke responded you have told me that before and here we are again Sam i mean it you have to choose you have to make a choice either you love me and want me to join in the hunt or you dont its thats simple .Brooke started to walk away ,please Brooke ,i do love you but this life this job you dont want to be a part of this ,why dont you let me decide what i want for myself ?i chose you Sam what are you choosing? Sams heart skipped a beat as he stood there thinking of his life without her ,i choose you Sam blurted out i could never love anyone but you Brooke , she ran up and pressed her lips to his as they embraced .the had just deciced to be togather forever as a couple and now they had to tell dean their news. would dean rejoyce and be happy for them or will he be inraged and jealous?

[felidthing]

if youre experiencing alters you probably have a dissociative disorder, or you are experiencing something that isnt alters (which still doesnt rule out having a dissociative disorder). the human brain does not naturally split into separate people and identities. you cannot have alters/be a system without having a disorder AND THATS OKAY! did/osdd are products of severe trauma and are meant to be hard to detect, and are highly stigmatized/demonized. it makes sense that so many people think they dont have a disorder like that. but claiming that theres some sort of gatekeeping happening isnt productive.

[felassanis]

Did anyone else feel a bit bummed about how they handled the Mage and Templar war?

Because, its set up a little bit in Origins. During the Cirlce questline we are introduced to the machinations of how circle life works and how its less than ideal

Then in DA2 shit hits the fan. The templars are allowed to get away with so much unethical atrocities because the chantry, the religious institution who basically run the world, let's them. Their neutral stance means nothing when being neutral still means Templars got to do whatever they wanted and its an example of what being neutral can sometimes mean. And we see first hand what Mages will resort to in order to both survive and enact their own form of justice. Broken people made to resort to a forbidden magic because they feel like they have no other choice.

We have perhaps the most important character in terms of pushing the plot and being the catalyst of a rebellion as a companion. Where we get a first hand perspective into the life of a mage, both a circle one and an apostate. And we see him slowly decend into his depression over nothing being done to help the mages while a egotistical abuser is put into a high place of power enabling her paranoia to hurt EVEN MORE people to which our companion blows up the fucking chantry because enough is enough.

A whole ass narrative about the complexity of abuse, of fear of the unknown and misunderstood. How religious institutions have enabled so much suffering. How people are discriminated against because of what they're born with. Allowing the player to form their opinions on whether mages should be free considering how dangerous they are. Or if its immoral to cage people over something they MIGHT do when they might also just wanna live peacefully.

I wanted it to go OFF. I wanted shit to kick off in DA3 about the rebellion. I wanted to see mages fighting for freedom. I wanted to see the consequence of that freedom but also the positives. Seeing Templars trying to control something they've feared and failing. I wanted to see how Anders's actions changed the state of the mage templar conflict and how its going to change the world.

But instead we get Coryphi-shit.

Don't get me wrong. I like how it ties to dragon age 2. Yet, the mage and templar war gets wrapped up a bit too quickly and its treated like a introduction rather than a narrative that's been two games in the making.

Also, I do fucking love where the games are going in terms of elven legends being true and how we are going to get more from ancient elves and the origins of Thedas. But...idk, kinda wish they treated the Mage Templar conflict with a bit more complexity than "do you think mages good or bad". It felt so...rushed. and got side tracked so quickly in favour of Corypheus and setting up Solas and the ancient elves. Like, sure there are nods to the elven pantheon in the past games but they're treated like additional lore tidbits whereas Dragon Age 2 was all about mages and templars.

[fedonciadale]

Master meta post

*** Edit: Please check the pinned post on this blog! This post will not be updated anymore as the original owner of the blog, my mother, has passed away.***

Master meta post

So I decided to put together some of my metas/ask posts (that tend to become metas occasionally) for convenience and pin this post.

I have not yet linked all (obviously), but I will revisit this post once in a while and add links...

Also for my numerous ask - evolved into metas I usually added some that I think are representative.

ASOIAF - Bookwise

Meta series on “Singers singing songs and their impact on character in ASOIAF”: part 1: Jon

part 2: Sansa

part 3: Daenerys

part 4: Starks and Lannisters

An ask about Florian and Jonquil (note the excellent additions!)

What is a bittersweet ending? (x, x, x, x)

Meaning of Ice and Fire

GRRM is not a Nihilist

First men and Children of the Forest

Politics in ASOIAF/GoT

Legitimacy of Kings in Westeros

Claim to the throne, right to the throne and the making of Kings

Daenerys and her understanding of history

Marriage annulment

Northern Independence asks (x, x, x)

Food sharing in Westeros

Parallels to Wars of the Roses

Starks

Sibling dynamics: Everyone was the odd one out once in a while

Sansa and Arya (mostly answers to Did Sansa bully Arya? (x, x)

Succession in the North: Was Sansa disinherited (x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x)

Septa Mordane

Dragons vs. direwolves

Targaryens

Would Jon on the throne mean a Targ restoration?

Why did the Targs practice incest and what are the political repercussions?

Jon Snow’s Targ name

Shipping:

Jonsa, Jon€rys and the logic of shipping

Shipping and canon shipping

Why is Jonsa hated?

Bulverism

Show rants:

Catfight at Winterhell: rant, asks (x)

Annulment of marriages in the Middle Ages

Daenerys and her understanding of history

Doubts prior to season 8

Circular storytelling

The full cirlce of Westeros

Why the endgame doesn’t make sense: 1 (Bran) , 2 (Tyrion), 3 (Arya), 4 (Sansa), 5 (Jon)

Women:

Women in Westeros and misogyny - Cersei

Women in Westeros and misogyny - Brienne

Sansa and Feminism

Arya and her feminitiy

Catelyn the advisor

Comparison of Jonsa with other ships

Jonsa and Jon€rys (my oldest post, Nov 2016)

In General: Incest, Endogamy, Exogamy, Genetic attraction phenomenon

Cousin marriage in the Middle Ages

In-world opinions on Cousin marriage, Targ incest

Does a Jonerys marriage solve any problems?

Foreshadowing for Jonsa, Jon€rys and J0nrya

Jonerys foreshadowing

Why Jonerys is incompatible

Comparison of Jonsa and Jonerys foreshadowing

What was GRRM’s original idea?

J0nrya and the original outline

So called J0nrya foreshadowing (= Jonsa foreshadowing in disguise)

Will there be a Jon€rys baby? (x, x, x, x, x)

Arya and Jonsa, J0nrya reunion

Political J0nrya marriage after Sansa’s death?

J0nrya as a possibility in books and show

Anti Dany/Jon/Sansa threesome for Targ restoration

Anti Sansan 

Anti Sanrion

Does Jon have a crush on Alys?

Alys Karstark as possible marriage candidate

Sansa Stark

The Trident incident (x, x)

The ‘Horseface’ question

Precanon crush?

Sansa is Jon’s type

Arguments against Sansa and “Rickard Forrester” as a rando last minute love interest

The Broken Tower in Winterfell

Sansa’s ‘betrayal’

Sansa won’t be disfigured

Sansa’s wishes

Sansa and the Northerners

Sansa and Alysanne Parallels

Sansa and Lady

Dany and Sansa as foils

Sansa as the ‘original villain‘

Does Sansa trust Littlefinger?

Is Sweetrobin getting poisoned?

Sansa and Sweetrobin

Ned and Cat

The man who passes the sentence

Was Ned in love with Ashara and did he have sex with her?

Ned and Cat as parents

The Starks value life

Literal tropes:

Relationship tropes in GoT and ASOIAF

Accidental incest and secret parentage and their outcoming

The function of secret parentage in fiction

What even is incest?

Jonsa and Beauty and the Beast

Fairy tales:

The trickster cat

The Bear and the Maiden fair

The Pig boy

Allerleirauh

Comparisons with Tolkien:

Beren and Luthien: part 1, part 2, part 3

Aragorn and Arwen

The Girl in Grey:

Various asks on the Girl in Grey (x, x, x, x, x)

DarkDany stuff

Why conquer Westeros at all?

A Storm that hits

Conquerors landing on the shore

Will Dany die as a saviour?

Questioning sharply (Dany’s descent into darkness)

Dany and politics

Dany’s ‘hero’s journey’

Dany and Galadriel

Setting up Dany as a villain: the Leni Riefenstahl connection (mostly @une-nuit-pour-se-souvenir but it started with my ask

Dany is not an abolutionist

Fire and Blood:

Methods of foreshadowing

Alysanne

Jaime

Succession in Fire and Blood

Fire and Blood tidbits

Will Arya kill Dany?

Archmaester Glydaen and his bias

Political Jon

Jon the Player, Jon the Deceiver?

Cersei and Aurane Waters as a parallel to Jon and Da€nerys

Deceiving and Lying Starks

Jon the Negotiator

Jon’s political skill on the show

Starks and their political skills

Asks about Political Jon (x, x, x)

Other:

Jaime Lannister as Hand of the King

Jaime as Hand - Hints in F&B (1, 2)

Tully mud, blood, death and sudden change

Rains of Castamere and the futility of revenge

Stark words and Stark obligations

Parallels to Outlaw King

Crack:

Why we should ship Tormund and Dany

HP Verse:

Everything wrong with the HP verse

Good Slytherins

Internalized misogyny in HP and the girly girl

Is S.P.E.W fake woke?

Grey characters in HP

Classism in the HP verse

Is Draco smart?

Hogwarts sorting: How it should go

JKR’s writing

Arthur Weasley and muggles or classism in HP

On redemption arcs: Draco,

On ships in HP: Fremione and Harmony; Anti Romione

My thoughts on : Ginny, Ron

[miriamdesign]

Illustrator Character Tutorial

Reflect tool

joining anchor points

smart guides

broken handles

path finder tool to create 3d shapes from 2d shapes, and shading

Penguin (bought to in workbook form today by accesable recorded online tutorials and incredbile PRJ file saving of past Miriam. Woo!)

1. with eclipse tool selected, hold down SHIFT and draw a cirlce.

2. with select tool A selected, draw a rectangle over the lower section of your circle and hit CTRL/CMMND X to cut this section, and CTRL/CMMND V to paste it

Turn on smart guides by hitting CTRL/CMMND U this will help you easily align your half circles with each other.

now turn off smart guides again.

To select to end points together we can use two methods. 1. is to use A selection tool and draw a box   2. is to click one anchor point, hold SHIFT and click the other

Once selected, press CTRL/CMMND J and that will join them together.

DO this on both sides.

Press + which is your add anchor point tool and add a new anchor point onto the bottom right curve.  With A selection tool, we can click and drag this new anchor point out to begin our tail.

Next we are going to ajust the anchor points and their handles to get a nice shape.

Select end anchor point to show handles. With the upper handle selected, hold down SHIFT to help move it to a perfectly verticle poisition, and snap that handle into the anchor point so that there is only a lower handle left.

Now clean up our curves by adjusting anchor point positions and handle lengths whilst holding down SHIFT (so that we stick to a verticle or horizontal direction)

From this

To this

Holding down SHIFT and C to use the anchor point tool we can add the top handle back into the tail end. This time instead of snapping it into the anchor point we will hold down OPTION/ALT (after first clicking V and tapping anywhere, and then A to select the anchor) and bring the handle down to a 90 degree angle to the lower one.

Add in three more anchor points using + tool onto the top right curve of your shape

V select and click anywhere, A select the middle of the three new anchor points and drag it out. THen holding OPTION/ALT you can ajust the handles on that, and the surrounding two anchor points to get this shape:

Back dwon on the tail, add in three more anchor points and drag out the middle one like so:

using OPTION/ALT to break handles, we can turn our end curves into points.

Adjust handles untill you hjave a nice shape. (In this case I ended up taking out the top added anchor point that i put in, and adjusting the handle on the original placed anchor that was above it to create the curve I wanted.

It’s best to take out any redundant anchor points.)

Now we have a slightly penguinish outline

SHIFT X  swaps the fill and the stroke colours around (no stroke and black fill)

Draw a beak with the pen tool

Draw an eye with the eclipse tool.

if you hold SPACE while dragging out your eclipse tool, you can reposition your circle before you commit to placing it down.

 Hold down OPTION/ALT and click and drag the eye to make a duplicate. Let go of your click first.

Now for the foot.

Just like you did in sdtep one, create an eclipse, (this time with a stroke and no fill) ,

A select the bottom half, CTRL/CMMND X cut, and CTRL/CMMND V paste

CMMND/CTRL U to turn on smart guides and allighn, select both ends and join like before also:

Drag her down. Now she’s a leg

Click and drag Pen tool holding down SHIFT  to create handles, and draw this shape, making sure you have your smart guides on so that your first and last anchor point are runniong the same horizontal

ajust if you want..

V select, and click O for reflect tool. click once in the bottom left anchor point to place the reflect guide  (thats the little blue guy bellow)

Holding down OPTION/ALT tap once on the anchor point on the other side and this will duplicate and reflectso you have a whole foot. Now it’ll be fairly obvious if your shape is shit.

With A select tool, highlight and join your unjoined anchor points by  hitting CMMND/CTRL J

squash its and move over to leg

[alextown]

Day 2 presentation

Headcanon

Before an omagas first heat, or an alphas first rutt they get a tattoo show up on their bodies: for omagas it's on their sholder, for alphas it's on their wrist and for betas it's on their hip. Colours also vary:

Female

Alpha- hot pink

Beta- yellow

Omaga- purple

Male

Alpha- red

Beta- orange

Omega- blue

Story

Aries sat in the girls changing room, back pressed against the cold wall as she watches everyone trail out...

When she was undressing to get out of her gym clothes she'd seen it...a little symbol on her sholder.

Aries couldn't believe this was happening! Her dad was an alpha, her brothers were alphas! She didn't know her suragot mother, but regardless, it had always been assumed she would be an alpha to!

All the girl finally out of the room, Aries elder brother, Marko trailed in, still wearing his plain blue work clothes. With teary eyes Aries looked up at her brother "I'm sorry" she sobbed as Marko's face dropped in pity as he enveloped his sister in a tight embrace.

"Oh Aries, look, you've worked yourself up a mess! It's okay, your okay" Marko promised, rubbing soothing cirlces into Aries back.

Tucking his sisters hair behind her ear Marko leaned back "I love you, dad loves you, archie loves you, Elizabeth loves you! No mark is gonna change that, I promise"

The tears that where already their began to fall harder, as with a broken smile Aries jumped into her brothers arms again. And in his large arms Aries knew she was safe, she knew everything would be okay...

@omegaverse-sfw-week

[littledreamybeth]

Lost Angel

A/N: Hey guys this an editted reupload from a work that I had shared over two years ago! I’m gonna rewrite some stories from time to time :)

Warnings: act of violence, mentions of blood & death 

-edited-

I slam the door behind me as I enter my bedroom, leaning my back against it. My entire body feels numb and I have no power over myself anymore. My eyes are red and swollen from the uncontrolling tears that I’ve shared not a very long tim ago, and all I do feel is pain. An unimaginable pain that kills me from the inside. An unimaginable pain that stabs my heart like thousand knives. An unimaginable pain that tears me apart. My legs can no longer hold me steady, resulting in me sliding down the door, wrapping my arms around my knees and starting to sob again. How can my day end like this?

My happiest night has turned out to be my worst nightmare. I still cannot process everything that has happened in the last couple of hours. Everything has gone so fast and I couldn’t prevent it from happening. I treid fighting , but I wasn’t strong enough. My struggles were not enough to protect him and to keep him safe. I have failed him.

Why? Is all I can think about. Why did it happen? Why did I lose him? Why? Why? Why?

My throat begins to ache as I scream out this question over and over again, until I cannot handle it anymore, and my vocal cords begin to ache. I weigh my body back and forth in order to calm down, but I can’t. The pain-  the pain in my chest is too unbearable. I feel like I’m dying. I feel like someone knocked the air out of my lungs. I feel as if someone ripped my heart out of my chest, stomping on it in front of my eyes.

I want him back- I only want him back. His kiss, that he has given me for the last time, still lingers on my lips. The feeling of his arms wrapping around my waist is still present. His beautiful scent- I can smell it as if he’s right next to me. But he isn’t- not anymore. I will never see him again.

I will never have the chance to kiss him one more time. I will never be able to hold him or to talk to him again. All these chances are now taken away from me. No more hugs, no more late night calls, no more “I love you’s” escaping from his beautiful lips.

If I had known what the night would turn into, I would have never agreed to go to this fucking party.

The darkness of my room is a perfect contrast to what I feel now. Emptiness. My other half is gone, leaving me alone in void and with a broken heart.

Still sobbing and choking, I tug at my hair. I try to erase the memory from this night, but I fail. That moment- that horrible moment is burnt deep in the back of my head. I blame myself even though I know that it’s clearly not my fault.. I take the whole responsibility for that terrible event of the night even though I shouldn’t, because I had no control over it.  When I open my eyes, I can see his lifeless and motionsless body in front of me once more. This picture is so vivid.

“No!” I shake my head heavily in denial. “No! No!” I want these images to leave my mind and never return. I never want to be reminded of this night. Never!

“Marcel…” I whimper out, my heart feeling thousand times heavier. “Please come back to me… please baby…”

-Few hours ago-

“Look at the stars. They’re shining very bright tonight, don’t you think?” Marcel pointed to the sky. We were strolling over the huge football field of our school, enjoying each other’s presence. His warm hand was intertwined with mine as we walked around. Marcel’s always been a fan of the stars and  the galaxy in general.

I looked up, staring at the tiny dots that decorated the dark sky, illuminating the large black layer with their light. The wind blew lightly at our faces, and the atmosphere fitted perfectly to the moment that I was able to spend with Marcel.

“They’re beautiful,” I commented.

“Just like you, sweetheart,” he answered, kissing my temple. Why did I see this coming?

“Aww, stop Marcel.” I pushed him gently away, my cheeks turning red from his compliment.

“I’m just telling the truth, darling!” He laughed and pushed me back against his chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck, nestling my face into the crook of his neck. If you  had asked me;  we could have stayed here, in the middle of the huge football field, all night long, just like this- being in each other’s arms. Having Marcel in my life made a lot of things easier for me.

I felt his strong heart beat  drumming against my ear. A wonderful sound that always calmed me down when I had to deal with anxiety or stress. My fingers wandered up his neck, playing with the tiny curls that he couldn’t treat with hair gel. I didn’t really comprehend why he prefered to use that shit, his natural curls looked much more better on him than his slick hair combed to the side.

A pleased hum came out from his mouth. “Do you want to go back to the party?” He asked.

I shook my head no. I’d rather spend more time with my boyfriend here, where no single soul could disturb us. Also, I  really had no desire to see all those people who had fun making Marcel’s life a living hell. We had been there already, but when some of those arrogant people spotted us and started to insult Marcel, I couldn’t hold on anymore and asked my boyfriend to leave. I knew he didin’t mind these words being thrown at him, but to me they were like a spear through my heart.

A few of those people were supposed to be my best friends, and I felt disgusted that I used to hang out with them in the past. I had belonged to the famous cirlce of popular students at our school, but traded that label against going out with Marcel. One they had found out about it, they immediately had excluded me from their group. I didn’t mind if I’m honest. I didn’t care for fame. I didn’t care if the other’s described me as the nerd’s girlfriend. I was totally satisfied with that name, and I couldn’t complain about it. I loved Marcel and stood up for him, and that was the most important thing.

“Come on, let’s take a seat,” Marcel suggested, leading us to the benches. As we sat down, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, keeping me warm at the same time. I’ve already gone out with many boys, but no one ever made me feel like Marcel did. Special.

He treated me like a gentleman- with care, respect and love. Not even my ex Jason, who also had a reputation at our school, could manage to give me affection. We had dated, yeah, but I think as for him, it was more about being the hottest couple at the entire school. He never gave me the feeling that he was really interested in me. I suppose, I had worked more for our relationship than he did.

“I can’t wait to graduate,” I sighed, leaning on his shoulder. In a few months, we would finish school. I couldn’t wait any longer for it. Marcel and I decided to move in together and to study at the same university. I was so eager to leave everything of this life behind and to start a new chapter. I was looking forward for our common future. One day, I would marry Marcel, and we would have lots of children playing in the backyard of our huge house. Just the plain thought of it let my heart doing flips. A smile crept its way on my lips, and Marcel noticed.

“What are you thinking about?” he inquired, giving me a tender kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of his sweet gesture.

“I’m just imagining our future life. You and me as a married couple with little children. I’m really looking forward to that moment.”

“Oh, my pretty angel,” Marcel spoke lovingly, “I can’t wait for it, too. If you ask me, I would want us to marry and have babies now, but we’re too young. We have to concentrate on our career and education first. And when the time has arrived and we both feel ready for it, I will go down on my knees and ask you to marry me. It’ll be special, I promise.”

“Marcel…” I whispered, tears threatening to fall down my cheeks. Sometimes, he made me so emotional that I couldn’t help but tear up to the promises he would make me.

“Don’t cry my, love,” he responded, wiping away the single tear that had escaped my eye.

“I love you so much, Marcel,” I mumbled, bending forward to capture his lips with mine.

“I love you too, my angel,” he murmured before our lips met to a passionate kiss.

Thousand butterflies erupted in my stomach, and I felt tingles running through my entire body- every single part of me felt alive. Words couldn’t describe how much love I felt for this young man in my arms. How much I admired and adored him! He was my everything. The air for my lungs. The reason why I woke up every day and endured my not so spectacular life. The reason for my smile. I would never be able to love somebody else as much as I loved Marcel. As long as we were together, everything else didn’t matter for me.

As we pulled back, a genuine smile decorated our soft lips.

“Do you want to go home?” he asked and I nodded. It had become very late already, and I felt a huge load of exhaustion weighing on my shoulders. I only wanted to go back home with Marcel, who would be sleeping at my place, and cuddle against him. We stood up, his body pressed to my side as we walked along the entire field to the gate.

And that’s the moment where the nightmare began. Fate took its course.

We noticed someone shouting in the middle of the night, probably some drunk ass students from school. Like mentioned before, there was a party taking place, and everyone was invited. As we saw them coming towards us, my nails dug into Marcel’s arm, an uneasy feeling was overwhelming me.

And as I realized that it was Jason and two of his pals, I felt more insecure. Normally, I wasn’t afraid of Jason, but when he was drunk, he completely changed and became unrecognizable.

“Look who we have here!” Jason slurred, he seemed to be completely drunk. “(Y/N) and Marcel! What a lovely surprise! Haven’t expected you guys to be here! What were you doing?”

His two friends laughed, and I rolled my eyes, clearly not having desire for his stupid behavior.

“Hey Jason,” Marcel said confidently, standing in front of me like a shield and trying to protect me from my ex-boyfriend. “We were about to go.” Just as we tried to pass the three wasted boys, Jason pushed us back.

“But we just came!” he whined. “Why don’t you guys stay here and have a little bit fun with us, huh?” His eyes wandered down my body while he was licking his bottom lip. I felt disgusted and uneasy under his gaze. Marcel held me closer to his side.

“No thank you,” he spat.”We are going now.” I admired Marcel’s braveness. I was ashamed that I couldn’t form a single word.

Jason’s eyes turned into a darker shade, and it scared me. He still couldn’t bear the fact that I had dumped him for Marcel. His stupid, big ego didn’t understand, and he had refused move on from our breakup. Even though he knew I had another boyfriend, he still chased after me. I knew he wanted a pay back. He wanted his revenge. And now, with his veins filled with alcohol, he made a dangerous appearance.

I felt a firm grip on my wrist that pulled me away from Marcel. “You can go, nerd. We will have fun without you, right (Y/N)?” Jason growled.

“Let me go, Jason!” I ordered, trying to get rid of his grab. But he refused to take his hand off of me.

“Leave my girlfriend alone!” Marcel interfered, pushing Jason hardly away from me. Jason stumbled back, almost falling to the ground, but managed to keep his balance.

“Look at that!” Jason laughed. “The nerd finally showing his balls! Very cute.”

“Stop it, Jason!” I shouted. I wanted to prevent a fight between them and just go home as soon as possible.

“What?” Jason laughed. It was obvious that he found it amusing.”C’mon (Y/N), you know I’m better than he is and he’ll ever be. Come with me and I will make you feel good.”

“It’s not the way you treat a woman, you asshole!” Marcel screeched, anger was boiling in his veins I could tell. “She’s not a fucking object!”

“What did you just say?” Jason shouted, triggered by the word.

“Asshole. You’re an asshole. That’s what I’ve said. You’re sick, Jason. You have no respect for woman or for anyone else. You just care about yourself! And you shall be man? I feel sorry for you!”

And that was a moment for Jason in which exploded. No one was ever allowed to insult or underestimate his masculinity. “You’re going to pay for this, you fucking loser!”

Jason took us all off guard when he punched Marcel on his nose very hard, making him fall to the ground. I could practically hear it crack. A thick layer of blood trickled down his nostrils.

“Marcel!” I screamed, moving forward to help, but suddenly, I was held back by one of Jason’s drunk friends. He held me so tight, I couldn’t escape out of his arms. I could feel a bruise forming on that particular spot.

I had to watch how Jason and his other friend began to beat my boyfriend. They wouldn’t stop kicking him. “Stop!” I cried. “Please stop!” I couldn’t bear to see him getting hurt. Tears wouldn’t stop streaming down my cheeks, and no matter how much I struggled to get to my boyfriend, it didn’t worked. So I screamed.

“Help!” I hoped that someone would hear my desperate cries and come to the rescue. But no avail.

One of them hit Marcel on his chest, whereas a suffocated sound passed his lips. That sound agonizingly pierced through my ears. I watched as his upper body lifted and fell slowly. His limbs began to become weaker and weaker. He struggled to breathe. His terrified eyes met mine, begging me to save him, however, my hands were tied by this god damned fucker. I stepped on his foot, and with a scream he shortly released me, only to catch me again. He slapped me hard.

“Y/N!” Marcel croaked. He raised one arm as if he was trying to reach out to me. “My..my…” was all that he waerily whimpered. I struggled to decipher his message as suddenly it began to hit me. Marcel had a fucking heart issue! How could I forget?! How often had I went to the hospital with him, where doctors had ordered many times that Marcel should take it easy on himself and spare himself from trouble.  

He would die if they didn’t stop instantly. “Jason! Please stop! Stop! You’re going to kill him! Please stop!” I pleaded, but they ignored me totally.

“That happens when you mess with me!” Jason growled, keeping hitting on my boyfriend. Marcel tried to weakly fend off the kicks. His moans and groans burnt themselves into my mind.

Jason hit his chest again, so hard that Marcel screamed in pain this time. “Jason! Stop! Please, I’ll do what you want, please!” I would do anything he wanted me to. He just should get away from Marcel.

As the two guys kicked him for the very last time, Jason’s final blow hit Marcel’s chest right were his heart was placed, my boyfriend’s eyes meeting mine as if he wanted to appologize, his lips breathing “I love you”. Then he closed his emerald green eyes and stopped moving, laying motionless on the ground. I screeched so loud that the whole world  probably had heard me.

Jason looked at me, clear confusion written across his face.

And as he and his friends realized that Marcel wasn’t moving anymore, panic arose in them and  they cowardly fled.

“Fuck, let’s get out of here!”

The boy, who had hold me back the entire time, pushed me to the ground and ran away. I landed hard on my knees, tears streaming uncontrollably down my cheeks as I crawled my way to Marcel on all fours.

“No… No.. no no no.” I sobbed when I reached him. His beautiful face was covered in blood and bruises. His glasses  and his nose were broken. He looked terrible. “Marcel…” I whimpered, shaking his body, but he didn’t respond. I tried once more. Again, there was no reaction.I prayed from the bottom of my heart that he was only unconcious and not what I thought he would be.

My trembly fingers went to  check his pulse. My heart dropped and a cold shiver ran down my entire body. I couldn’t find it. There was no pulse anymore. I was paralyzed for a moment. This couldn’t be true. So, I checked it again but I didn’t feel it. “No…” I shook my head in denial. He couldn’t be gone. He couldn’t be dead. This was just a fucking nightmare. If I closed and opened my eyes again, Marcel would be standing in front of me, all alive and smiling. He would embrace me and tell me that he was fine and that I had no need to worry about him. However, as I did, nothing that I hoped happened. Marcel’s corpse still laid in front of me.

“No, Marcel! Don’t do this to me, please!” My hands went down to his chest to give him a heart massage. That’s what I did. Pushing on his chest and checking up his pulse. I never received a response. No matter how much I tried. “Don’t do this to me, Marcel. Don’t die on me! Don’t die on me! Come on! Please!”

I was a crying mess, not wanting to believe that I’ve lost the love of my life. I had watched him die, taking his last breath in the worst way ever. “Marcel, baby, don’t do this to me! Don’t die on me baby, please!” I kissed his forehead. His cheeks. His lips. Hoping he would open his mesmerizing green eyes again. “You promised Marcel, we were going to marry! You wanted to propose to me one day, asking me to be your wife. You can’t let this go! Don’t leave me alone, my love, I’m begging you!” I buried my face in the crook of his neck, my eyes wetting his soft  and smooth skin. “Marcel… What am I going to do without you?! Baby, you can’t die, you can’t leave me alone! Wake up please!” I repeated over and over again. “Please, Marcel!”

As much as it hurt, I knew he would never come back to me again. My baby, my Marcel had become an angel now.

-Present-

“I love you… I love you so much, baby,” I sob, staining my pillow with my tears. It hurts. It hurts so fucking damn much. Even lying in my bed hurts. Macel and I have made so many memories in here and now, I feel trapped in my own bedroom, sulking in the remains of the past. If I only had the chance to rewind time, then I would’ve never left my house. I would’ve asked him to come over, so we could have a date night at my place. I could slap myself. Why did I suggest to go to that stupid party? Why?

“Look at what you’ve done!” I shout at myself. “He’s dead. He’s dead because of you stupid bitch!”

I scream loud. What will I do now? Everything is going to become different.

Without Marcel, my life will make no sense anymore. Without him, living will not  worth anything. Without him, I will never feel love again.

[whimsandcallings]

The most dangerous journey...

There is something addictive about suffering alone and keeping things to oneself.  It starts with a realisation, which moulds into pain and then anger. Suddenly past actions become mistakes, even those which you took with great care and love. You want to lash out on someone or something without the feel of regret that has started to haunt you.  And then there are the ethics, morals and values around you causing the social pressure to give out only ‘the good’. This eventually, brings into existence the conflicted self. The self who keeps turmoil inside to give off only the accepted. You start to fall for that self, thinking that's the only choice left. You feel possessive about your pain. You hold back from sharing it, fearing it won't be yours anymore. After a while, pain is the only emotion that reaches your heart. You end up searching for it everywhere. You become more receptive towards others’ pain and suffering. You can connect with people but only through all the wrong emotions. You start to search it in everyone you meet, ending up with brittle or dysfunctional relationships. And then you realise that life has broken you more than you thought. Again another realisation. You were trying to mend your broken heart losing your mind midway. And now you don't have any other choice than to go back to the self which started it all. The most dangerous journey one can take. Because it's routed backwards.

[littlezenmystic]

Get To Know Me - Witchy Style

Before I get into the breakdown - if you're new here, my blog is changing again so I'm reintroducing myself.

Name: Stephanie

Current Age: 28

Type: Eclectic Christian Witch

Element of Choice: I work best with water and earth

Stone of Choice: I work with Amethyst and Rose Quartz the most

Favorite Working Style: Cottage

Did I Ever Work With A Mentor?: She tried to be a mentor to a child with strict limits.

Would I Ever Be a Mentor?: I will always try to teach a baby witch when I see they need help.

Solitary, Coven, or Circle: I enjoy working with other witches so I could easily see myself in a cirlce. But for now - just Solitary

Type of Magic I Would Never Use: Curses or hexes. Oh don't think I haven't thought about it though

Type of BOS: Digital. I know it's best to keep a handwritten one. I'm working on that. But for now it's held on my Asus tablet.

Favorite Herb: I work with Basil and Sage a lot

Favorite Form of Divination: Dowsing and Playing Cards

Favorite Altar Item: Broken glass and my pendulum

Favorite Sabbat: Samhain

Favorite Spell: Depression Reduction Honey Milk

Favorite Natural Item: Stones and fossils

Something I Wish Someone Taught Me When I Started: How to circle cast and ground

Have I Ever Made My Own Tools?: Yes I have

Favorite Metaphysical Shop: Earthbound Trading Co.

Favorite Essential Oil: One I can't find anymore. A hot second would be Lavender

Do I Create My Own Sigils?: You betcha

Favorite Candle: A pink wood scented candle my sister bought me

Is My Partner A Witch?: No, he's not. He's straight laced Christian.

Am I In or Out of the Broom Closet?: Depends. Certain people know and others not. I don't need a hassle.

Favorite Book: Fiction - Secret Cirlce series. Non-Fiction - The Path of a Christian Witch

Anything I didn't cover that you want to ask - feel free, ask away!

Xo 🌛

[mthpoetry]

Patriots

Dont take my broken heart for betrayal

Dont look at me and see just my red eyes

I am an American

Head held high

Thousand yard stare

Focused on the cloudy blue sky

I am here.

My heart tears

Each time i hear

Another gunman bleeds a mothers soul

Bones cracked and dried and dusted down into urns prematurely used for firing practice

When klaus from umbrella academy knocked over his fathers ashes and said oop i felt that

Thank god for tumblr because the phrase 'explains it but doesnt excuse it' resides with tenure in my brain

Those ashes are the ideas that have had their reign over our people for longer than a day and how it persists is beyond me

We are human are we not

Perhaps a little neanderthal but im not judging

It confounds me that hate for anything other than character flaw and snape apologists exists where the lives and well being of our young is not the major concern, where the posibility of a future husband has more say on my bodily decisions to this system we pay than my opinion or health, where we can condem a whole nation's ideal but wait a few decades and addopt it as our own with no appologies but half assed explanations, no the death squad's bullets have yet to fly but the gasses are slowly creeping in, we have stripped ourselves of our shoes and riches and will have to die or hope for a savior army but the savior army is us. and the people with the guns at the backs of heads is us. And the people with guns at the back of their heads is us. it is up to us wheather we live or die

Why can't we see that. Its a panoramic view. You dont have to be an american to see that. But it might be easier to not be and to not feel the fear my generation lives in. Our champions are our children and we chear them on for as long as we remember before our lives march us on in the cold and on a trail we have never traveled before, i get that we are a young country but we were founded in flames those ashes of our dead inspired new growth like the phoenix in a cirlce that has but one begining where the pencil was set down.

History marches on and forgets the names of the losers. We know they existed because- well. We dont know they existed. Not always. History is written by the ones who survive.

[badbihbunnie]

A M O R P H O U S (2/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced Reader

Words: 2,5k

Warnings: smut

——————————

N o A n g e l

The air condition is a slow hum in the back of her ears, a bare whisper she isn‘t able to pick up. She is too occupied, her mind filled, her senses clouded. Too long, it had been, since she’s been touched like this, held in the arms of a strong man as his hips rocked her back and forth in a steady pace.

„You sure want to do this?“ his deep tone asks in silent wonder, causing her to pause slightly and think.

Think whether she really wants to do this in one of the many office bathrooms, the company she works at, offers. A part of her tells her to go with it. To enjoy the thrill of being in a public environment about to commit something sinful. Another part of her, however, tells her to screw the idea. To pull her skirt from around her hips and kiss the handsome stranger goodbye. She would never speak of it again, would never think back to what she could have had. But that part, much like the steady breathing of the air conditioning, she ignores. Pushes it back and allows her hands to reach for the buttons on his pants.

Her eyes, bright as the moon on a cloudless night, open, looking to find the ones opposite from her. „Shut up.“ she but manages to sing in need as her lips glide over the roughly shaven parts of his chin, his cheeks and the soft skin on his neck.

Her man chuckles, a low note, from deep inside his throat. „Just making sure.“ simple, and yet his words are swallowed as her swollen lips connect with his in a hungry and firm kiss. The strangers hands play with the hem of her underwear, teasing the sparse peace of fabric before pushing them aside to run a finger along her opening.

She can't hold back the hiss drawn from between her lips, her breath getting stuck behind clenched teeth. „Don't“ she barely growls, eyes closing as the muscles in her lower abdomen tighten painfully. „None of that. No teasing“

And again, she allows him to lure her in with a smile of his. Silently, he looks into her eyes, slowly closing in on her lips. Excitement bubbles within her, adrenaline pumping through her veins as her breathing picks up speed. „Don‘t worry. I got you.“ his breath is a sweet concoction leaving her begging for more; it is a scent of mints combined with the bittersweet taste of tobacco he inhaled when she stepped outside to gather her lunch before they ended up in one of the bathroom‘s cubicles. „Just look at you: pupils blown with lust. Your - “

His tongue moves out to caress her lips. „Lips: wet.“ his fingers play a silent rhythm on the strings of her sanity, a pumping beat echoing within her walls, traveling to her brain. Cirlce around her bundle of nerves, going in, going out. Twist, in again and then out. Pinch. Again, she hisses, inhaling more of that divine air that is his breath.

His eyes, so stark in contrast to her own, look deeply into hers, erasing all previous doubts she may have had. She is weak in his strong arms, useless as her legs are wrapped around his waist, her arms circling his shoulders and neck, holding herself up.

His hands move fast, pushing the contraceptive over his length and guiding himself to her core. His head is a tease against the walls to her paradise, a sweet sensation kissing her legs as she starts to quiver. All too quickly he snaps, an impulsive thrust inside leaving her breathless, gasping for air. Nails dig into his scalp, pulling on the soft tresses of his hair and inhaling the scent of his cologne at the tip of her nose. Her mind is wilding, her senses too far gone while his hips make sweet love to her.

No, she thinks. This isn't love, it couldn't be. Not under these circumstances. She barely knows the man, let alone told him her name for this to be love. She is sure of it. But she loves the way he makes her feel, the way he fills her up and makes her yearn. She loves the determination in his eyes, his brows drawing together in concentration.

„Hen- „ she barely gets out before she is kissed again, his lips connecting with hers, their tongues fighting for dominance.

The man in front of her moves to her neck, trailing harsh kisses down its length. „Shhh“ he whispers. „No talking.“ it is the feeling of warm breath against the shell of her ear, the pressure inside her slowly building, that causes her to whimper.

„Listen.“ she barely catches over the deafening sound of blood rushing to her ears and cheeks. The main door to the bathroom opens, sudden footsteps clicking against the light tiles beneath her form. Her eyes widen in panic. His speed decreases and yet his thrusts intensify. „Dont wanna get caught now, do we?“

Deeply, he pushes into her, dragging her further into the bathroom stall before he finally sits down onto the closed seat - she placed on top of him. Shortly, they lose contact, his length leaving her warmth, allowing her to catch her breath before it is taken from her again.

A groan escapes his lips and in her stupor, she presses her hands against his mouth, praying that they hadn't been caught.

„Hello?“ Her hands start to sweat, the knot in her stomach decreasing with every thrust of his hips, with every movement of hers. He grunts again, making her eyes widen.

„Hello?“ the voice questions again, this time closer, louder. Whoever it is, figured out which stall they were in. She could see their feet at the bottom of the door, shyly peaking through the opening. „Is someone there?“ her ears pick up slow whirring of metal and soft clicking before the man beneath her gives his finals thrusts, breath picking up and then slowing. A few twitches inside of her and he slumps against the toilet seat. His groans and the sudden flush of the toilet overpower her embarrassment, the sick feeling in her stomach.

Disgusted, she looks at him, the light sheen of sweat on his forehead, the blown pupils of his eyes. She opens her mouth to protest, to cry out, when he beats her to it.

„Yeah man,“ he barely guides her hips over his own, twitching once again as he reaches a sensitive spot. „Just had a heavy lunch.“

„Oh.“ the man from the opposite site of the door mentions. She, however, ignores it, the tightness in her chest growing, her anger bubbling over. „Make sure not leave a mess in there.“ In seconds his footstep grow quieter, the screeching of a door opening and closing dancing in the air. It is her cue to push against his shoulders and stand up. It is her cue to fix her dress, smooth out any wrinkles and rebutton her shirt.

„That was nice.“ the man whispers, one of his hands reaching for hers. Her head snaps in his direction, hard eyes meeting his. „We should do this agai-„

„No.“ she states, hand running along her ponytail, releasing the end to let it swing freely and settle against the length of her neck. Swiftly, she turns, unlocking the door and walking out. She leaves him slumped against the toilet seat, pants unbuckled, blissfull. „Fucking asshole.“ she whispers as she walks out the front door, ignoring his pleas to tell him her name, heels tapping against the marble floor.

——————————

A trail of curses leave her mouth, as the soles of her heels continue to click against the ground. Done with the day, ready to quit and go back home, (y/n) stands in line of a foreign bistro, hoping that she could salvage what‘s left of her miserable break with something to eat.

„I‘m sorry m‘am but one of our machines is currently broken.“ the cashier in front of her says. (Y/N) looks from her purse, having just fished out her wallet, and into the eyes of the girl. „Would you mind ordering something else? Again, I am terribly sorry!“

She would have loved to scream no, to take her belongings and walk right out of the little shop. (y/n), however, knew: attitude wouldn't get her anywhere. At least, the cashier was trying her best, offering a warm smile. With a sigh (y/n) looks at the menu, eyes scanning the list. She doesn‘t even know the place let alone any of the menus listed in front of her. What is this place again? Iraq? Palestine maybe?

Teeth grinding against one another, her tongue swipe over her lips. „Number -„ she hesitates, eyes roaming the list. „seventy four I guess?“

Her eyes roll against the back of her head. Her lunch break was slowly coming to an end. „With chicken. No onions, no peppers, no cabbage, red or white. And definitely no tomatoes. Make it spicy though and not too much of the sauce. I‘ll take a bottle of water as well, please.“ the cashier in front of her smiles, nodding her head.

„Alright.“ the girl behind the register smiles again. „That will be $11.65“ Handing over the money, she tells the girl to keep the change before moving aside to look for an available spot in the small restaurant. She could stay inside, saving herself from having to listen to New York‘s busy life style. The sun, however, was out which was a nice change for once, snd maybe that would cheer her up and lift her mood.

„You won‘t mind me sitting down, will you?“ not waiting for an answer, (y/n)‘s legs move forward. „I will be outside.“

Fishing out her sunglasses, (y/n) places them on top of her nose, shielding her eyes from the warm rays of the glowing sun. Looking around, she notices the different faces, the many laughing smiles; couples walking around, hand in hand, in love. Children begging their parents for ice cream. Her eyes then land on the man seating himself in front of her.

„You won‘t mind sharing this bench, right?“ the man, maybe a decade older than her - she isn‘t entirely sure - asks. (y/n) could feel his eyes on her from beneath his sunglasses. She knows him. How couldn't she. Everybody knows who he is and he didn't have a problem letting her know, when he sits without awaiting her answer.

The on going conversation on his phone doesn't stop, even when he asked her whether hed be able to sit with her. „I understand!“ his voice picks up, eyes slowly scanning over (y/n) before his body turned and his hand went up to scratch the back of his neck.

„I know and I am unbelievably sorry, sweetheart but they needed me.“ he tries to reason with whoever he was speaking to. „Okay they needed Iron Man. But see it this way: Iron Man, Tony Stark, same person really. I see no difference. I‘ll make it up to you. Promise!“

The man turns back to her. „Hello?“ His brows draw together, hand lifting from his ear to look the phone‘s screen. She wants to say something, be witty and maybe even make him laugh a little. She keeps silent, minding her own business.

„Number seventy four and a bottle of water?“ a young waiter asks, holding a plate with her food in shaking hands. Nodding her head, (y/n) signals for him to place her order on the table. A quick thank you leaves her lips. „Mr. Stark.“ the young boy exclaims. „Would you like the usual?“

„Ah yes, nice to see you again.“ his hands clap together, watching carefully as (y/n) adjusts the meal on her plate. „No thank you. I‘m afraid I don't have the time, today. You know, I just came from a walk - trying to clear my head. It‘s been a long day at work.“

(Y/n) supresses the snort trying to escape her and rips off a piece from the foil her food is wrapped in. „I just wanted to sit down. Get something done - “ his back straightens, causing (y/n) to do the same, high ponytail swinging over her shoulder with a swift movement of her head. „And enjoy the view.“ From under her lashes, she notices him fiddle with his phone, twisting and turning it in his hands. She can feel him watch her as her hands guide her sunglasses from her nose and onto her head.

He smiles at the waiter. „Maybe some other time.“

„As you wish, Mr. Stark.“ the waiter‘s arms disappear behind his back, before he himself disappears back into the restaurant.

„Schawarma, huh.“ the man opposite from her notices as she‘s about to take her first bite. „It’s my usual. One of their best meals here.“

(Y/n) barely acknowledges him, a meaningless smile on her lips. „I wouldn‘t know, love. I‘ve never been here before.“ her voice is soft, calm and collected. So different to how she feels inside.

„You‘ll enjoy it.“ he assures her. „Of course it‘s not as good as American man and the atmosphere is not quite as prestigeous as office bathrooms, but - is that an accent I hear? British maybe?“

His words make (y/n)‘s head snap up at him, the first bite in her mouth long forgotten. „I‘m not judging, you know. We‘ve all been there-„

„I’m sorry.“ interrupting him as she swallows, head slightly tilting. „Who are you again?“ She desperately tries to fight her body‘s natural instinct to blush and cower in embarrassment. Instead, her lips purse, brows raised in question. Her eyes unimpressed.

„I must admit I‘m quite offended.“ he laughs an earnest laughter, mocking her accent at the same time. „I would have hoped for you to recognize the face that signs your pay checks every month, Miss (y/ln).“

(Y/n) swallows hard, her stomach churning at the thought of having been caught. Hoping he wouldn't have noticed her being caught off guard, she swallows again, dabbing her mouth clean, sipping from her water. „Been silently watching from afar, sir?“ He smiles. „In that case you could have just asked to join. Two’s a crowd but three‘s a party.“

He claps his phone against his hands; once, twice, before checking the time and getting up. „I like to have my eyes on my employees, Miss (y/l/n).“ (y/n) swallows.

„Especially the ones that pique my interest.“

[pweterparker]

Tell me you love me

It wasn´t working out, it had been months since it wasn´t. The fights, the words, everything, till one of us apologized and maked up. Sometimes it all just got to much. Sometimes I even forgot what was the real reason why we were fighting. It was a vicious cirlce. 

Tonight was supposed to be a good night, you had prepared a nice dinner, soft music playing in the background and in the blink of an eye, food was splattered all over the floor and broken dishes laying all around.

 I was kneeling on the floor, gathering the broken dishes when a pair of shoes appeared in front of me.

“Let me help you” he said quietly.

 I got up and took a sit on the chair and watched as he cleaned the mess we’ve made and then washed his hands on the sink. And i wondered how were we going to clean ourselves, our mess, our relationship. 

He signed and then turned around 

I knew what was coming, he was going to say he was tired, i would say we could work it out and then we would patch up to watch it fall again. 

“This isn’t working out y/n” he took a seat in front of me. “ I don’t know what else to do”he said as he runned his hands through his hair. I wondered how many times had i runned my hands through his hair, how many times haved I kissed him, how many times had we swore an undying love to each other... the answer was too many times to count. 

“But we can fix it right?” i asked hesitantly 

“Not this time” he sounded defeated “ I’ve been thinking for some time now, that maybe we should split up, take some time. Think things through.”

I opened my mouth only to Close it again. 

It took some time to my brain to catch up with the things he was saying, once it all kicked in tears started to well up my eyes again. 

“Tom, please listen to me” i said with a quivering voice. “We can fix this, I know we can. There is no need for us to go our separate ways” I took his hands in mine.

“No, You listen to me Y/n. It’s just not there anymore, we can’t pretend anymore. I can’t do it anymore. It’s destroying me, it’s destroying you and I can’t stand it anymore. I’m sick and tired of this” he took his hands out of my grasp. “I’m sorry but i can’t do it anymore” he looked me dead in the eye. 

“Tom please... don’t give up on me. On us... I’m begging you” i said sobbing 

“I’m sorry. But I dont love you anymore.”

I Felt like the air was knocekd out of my lungs, i couldn’t breath properly anymore. It was like everything was in slow motion. I felt numb. 

“Please” i said barely audible. Tears streaming down my cheeks.

“I didn't mean to hurt you like this” he whispered in my ear, but it sounded like he was miles away. He kissed both of my cheeks, then got up and left. 

I watched as he walked out of the door with a suitcase in hand. And I asked to myself “ What have i done?”