#But I fell out of the habit and now I constantly feel like I’m on the verge of dying

[eddis-not-eeddis]

I don’t feel hunger properly anymore. I broke my body, so I constantly teeter between “nothing” and “desperately, insanely, unimaginably ravenous” when my sugar crashes. The problem being, if my sugar isn’t actively crashing I just. Don’t think about food. At all. It never crosses my mind, so I don’t do any kind of meal prep and suddenly I Must Consume and there is nothing ready to hand, so I end up eating three boxes of dry cereal and an ice cream bar, and this isn’t working at all.

[yolelejiju]

DAMN, YOU WRITE SO GORGEOUS!! I'M GLAD, DUDE. ahem. I have this idea: Toji married a very young girl (she is 20 or 21 years old. Toji is 39 years old) Megumi is 18 years old. and Megumi sees her young stepmother and falls in love with her. and he, while Toji is not at home, will fuck her while she sleeps soundly. (maybe Toji will find out about this)😈🤝🫦

Omg anon I’m sorry I just saw this.

TW: somnophilia, noncon

Megumi is aged up, AFAB reader

Not proofread, WIP (maybe)

After graduating from Jujutsu High, Megumi finds it difficult to adjust to dating in adulthood. All of his friends seem to have found someone special, leaving Megumi to often find himself alone. Although he has been attracted to someone before, the problem is that the person he desires is already taken. Not only that, but this person has recently married his father.

His father has brought home many women over the years of varying ages and bodies with one thing in common; they were always somewhat loaded with cash. Most women quickly fell for his father’s looks and great figure but would eventually leave due to his gambling and poor money management…

You were different from others. You showed patience with his father and always tried to find a way to balance his gambling habits without draining your pockets. You even offered pocket money to Megumi and Tsumiki when they went out. Whenever you left, you would come back with a gift or a snack for Megumi, letting him know that you constantly think about him and dropping hints of possible romantic interest.

I mean, what was even the age gap between you two? What two maybe three years? You were closer to megumi in age than you were Toji, and these days you’re home alone more with Megumi more than anyone else.

Was it because you had feelings for him? Was there something more to the bun you gave him or the juice the two of you shared? Were you truly thirsty or did you just want to give him an indirect kiss.

You drove Megumi wild and all you did was exist. He wondered what it was about you that convinced his dad to bring you home. It has to be your patient forgiving nature.

Megumi knows you know he likes you. He knows you’ve caught him ogling your body when wearing something low cut. He knows you feel him press his groin against your lower back when he needs to “get by” you. He sees your body stiffen and your mind freeze every time. He doesn’t know if you’ve even noticed this but you never brought up the fact that you’d wake up with cum on your hand from when he’d use it to jerk himself off. You’ve even forgiven him for walking in on you while we’re in the shower.

So he’s sure you’ll forgive him for what he’s about to do now as he towers over your unconscious resting body. His father wouldn’t be back a few days and you had gotten careless leaving your bedroom door unlocked maybe even on purpose.

You lay blissfully unaware of your exposures legs and ass as your nightgown has ridden up. The way the moonlight flashed through the window on your body seemed almost as if it was calling megumi and telling him to take you there and now.

Megumi drags his hand between your legs up to your inner thigh. He takes his hand lifting your dress up to completely expose your ass all the way before gripping on of your cheek harshly to spread it. He spread your cheeks until he could see your anus start to gape and your pussy lips part. He stares in awe, everything about you truly is beautiful.

He’s dreamed of this pussy for so long, night after night as he wrapped a pair of your dirty panties around his length and jerked himself off until they were soaked in his cum. He strokes his dick thinking of what it would be like to be inside of you. To pin you down and fuck you, to breed you.

He tries to gently flip your body over onto its back, he gets a better view of your face that’s glows under the moonlight peaking through the window blinds. His eyes roam over the curves of your body. Your perky nipples are peeking through your night gown top, moving ever so slightly with every exhale.

He lines the head of his cock with your entrance, slowly pushing it in, just as the head pops through your first ring he stares at your face and watches as your brows furrow but you still remain asleep.just with him putting his tip in has him ready to cum and he doesn’t know if he’ll last much longer so he pulls himself althe way out and slams his full length inside of you. He bites his lip to hold back his own moans and watches your pained face, your eyes try to open and your body tries to wake up but your sleeping pills get the better and you fall back to sleep.

He starts to pump into you a bit faster, with shaky breaths and weak arms buckling. The sound of his balls slapping your ass echoes throughout the room complimented by the squelching of your pussy. Every time he'd pull out he'd leave just the tip of his dick in before slamming his whole length inside you, watching your body shake and breast bounce with each thrust. he knows he should pull out but every time he tries to convince himself not to cum he finds himself inching so much closer to his climax, it’s not until he sees your legs start to shake and your walls grip his length does he shove himself deep inside you and fuck into you all his cum.

He pulls himself out fighting to catch his Breath, he watches his cum spill back out of your tired used pussy and can’t help but feel himself get hard again. Maybe he’ll be kind and give your pussy time to recover and break your cute little asshole in for this round.

[silhouetteonpaper]

DERIVED FROM POWER | CH. 1

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5

Summary: Y/N is frustrated with the life being a political figure’s daughter brings. That’s when she’s forced to meet a group of heroes that give her the worst news possible: she’s far from normal. But what will happen when Y/N can’t be the perfect girl her parents taught her to be?

A/N: This is my first fic, so please bear with me as I’m still figuring things out! Any constructive feedback is welcome! This first chapter is a lot of introduction, I promise there’s even better stuff coming. I’m planning for this to have at least 10 chapters, if not more. I hope you enjoy :)

WC: 3451

Warnings: Drinking, gun use, fighting, mean parents

CHAPTER ONE

The girl sighed as the green silk dress draped down past her legs to the floor. Another new article of clothing she delicately placed herself in, now turning back and forth in the mirror to see how it fell on her body. She liked this dress more than some of the others she’d worn. It had a nice v-cut neck, giving her collarbone some emphasis. The straps were thin to let her shoulders shine, too. And it complimented her figure well, leaving the girl dreading the news articles about her ‘scandalous attire’ she predicted would appear soon enough. Still, all the girl cared about was the fact she felt confident in it, so in the moment she tried to ignore her rising fears.

Tonight is yet another party the girl’s parents decided to attend, wanting to keep up their appearance as senators for the United States. As their daughter, the girl was expected to follow them to every trip, public statement, gathering, and of course party. She hated every single one, the feeling of everyone’s eyes drilling into her causing anxiety. She never liked the spotlight, let alone the political discourse that followed her everywhere. Even at her young age, she was expected to have an opinion and be able to articulate her surrounding thoughts. But she never was as into politics as her parents were.

A soft knock landed on the bedroom door, the young girl’s attention quickly being stolen from the mirror. “Y/N, your parents are headed to the car. They said they’re leaving in five minutes.” A woman who appeared in the doorway spoke. She was shorter, and had straight brown hair and brown eyes. She wore a kind smile with her form fitting gray pencil skirt and matching blazer. Y/N immediately smiled at her and nodded, hiding the frustration she felt toward her parents. Only they would force her to come to a party, and send the house manager to communicate the departure in their stead. 

Brianne, the house manager and the woman in the doorway, was more like a maternal figure to Y/N than her own mother. Brianne was in charge of keeping household tasks on schedule, and organizing everything surrounding it. The maids, chef, everyone, all looked to Brianne for direction on when to do their jobs and how. Because Y/N’s parents were constantly working, the young girl often found herself in Brianne’s hands. She didn’t mind it too much, yet always longed for a true parental relationship with her real parents. Yet they cared more about politics than their own child.

Brianne closed the bedroom door soon after relaying her message. Luckily, Y/N was nearly ready. She had blow dried and curled her Y/C/H hair earlier, forcing her natural hair pattern to cower under the heat styling. Her parents always told her she looked prettier when she heat styled her hair, so ever since their first comment on it she kept doing it. It was a habit now- Y/N never let her natural hair show anymore.

She had put on some simple makeup, just to highlight and brighten her features but not too much to make her look too old. Y/N’s parents constantly reminded her that youth gets you far in any industry, to which they were usually met with an eye-roll or unimpressed expression.

Y/N took a moment in the mirror to look herself in the eyes. Being in the public eye meant she had to be a perfect daughter, teenager, and person. But there was one thing the young girl was hiding that she’d never told a single soul about. She had this strange ability, she could move things with her eyes. She could bring objects to her, or push them away, no matter how heavy they were.

But, she didn’t often get to use her special skill, as she didn’t want her parents to find out. Occasionally she’d grab a book from a shelf across the room, holding out her hand as it slid off the shelf and flew in the air towards her. Or, she’d throw the clothes from her floor onto the bed with one simple gaze from her eyes. She knew it wasn’t normal, so she kept the secret with her for all 18 years of her life.

Eventually, Y/N strutted out front of the house in her black high heels, the low light of the moon and front driveway lights illuminating the path to the car. The family’s house was a large contemporary-colonial style house, with lots of windows and pillars. They resided in New York, far enough away from the white house to have some privacy, but close enough that they could easily travel there for work.

The Rolls Royce SUV sat in the driveway, engine running. The driver exited the car to open the door for Y/N, her expression turning cold as she met her parents' judging faces inside. The door closed behind her and Y/N buckled her seatbelt, sitting in the opposite facing seat to both her parents. Her mom looked at her up and down, not trying to hide the tinge of disgust.

“Who let you buy that?” She commented on the dress, staring directly at its low neckline. Y/N looked down at her lap for a moment, watching her words to prevent her tone from ruining the night.

“Brianne took me shopping. You told me I can’t wear the same dress twice, so I got this one for tonight.” Y/N answered quietly. She knew her mom probably wouldn’t love the low cut, but Y/N liked it and Brianne told her how good it looked, so it felt right. The dresses her mom picked out always made Y/N feel like she was either a little kid, or a full grown adult. But Y/N was finally 18, and her excitement to make decisions like these stemmed into the purchases on her parent’s credit cards.

“Next time, get something less revealing. I don’t need to see pictures of your chest in tomorrow's newspaper. It’ll have to do for tonight though. Maybe Stark will have an extra jacket you can cover up with…” Her mom went on. Y/N rolled her eyes to herself, knowing at the party her parents would be too busy socializing to care about some stupid jacket. Y/N’s ears perked at hearing the name Stark, though. These parties were often political figures and their friends gathering, so the girl was intrigued to hear a name unrelated to politics.

The name Stark was familiar, and Y/N’s memory quickly jogged. “We’re going to Tony Stark’s house for a party? Why’re we invited?” She questioned her parents. She knew a bit about the billionaires franchise, and that her parents were friendly with him, but was unsure what business her senator parents had at a rich man's night of fun. Her mom scoffed, exchanging a glance with her father.

 “Stark funds part of our campaign, and in return we offer him some… benefits.” Her mom said carefully. Y/N knew that in return for his support, her parents helped him weave some laws and watchful government eyes. It was further proof how devious those involved in politics could truly be, but Y/N already lacked trust in her parents.

The car drove down some winding roads, following the edge of the hill they lived on that overlooked the city. The night was beautiful, a dark navy sky full of stars holding up the bright moon, matching the glowing city lights down below that never ceased to burn. Y/N enjoyed looking up to the sky, watching the quiet world that sat above her. It was a nice break from her own life as she could float with the stars for only a moment.

Soon enough, the SUV pulled into a long driveway that curved in a loop out front of a large modern mansion. Y/N was impressed, seeing a house even larger than theirs. She was always curious as to why people needed all this space, she never felt a use for it. But her parents and Stark both had money to spend, so she presumed that was reason enough.

The driver opened the doors for the family and they headed up towards the large front doors. Inside, music could be heard playing in the foyer where a crowd of people socialized. The ceiling was tall, a second floor balcony overlooking the area around a large hanging chandelier. Floor to ceiling windows covered the farthest wall, standing behind a DJ booth and a bar area.

An older man with brown hair greeted the family, immediately going to hug Y/N’s mom and dad. “Laura! Paul! Welcome!” His attention was turned to the young girl in the stunning green dress as soon as he pulled away from the hug. “And here she is, Y/N Y/L/N, you’ve grown up since I last saw you!” He spoke, pulling Y/N into a side hug.. Y/N smiled as best as she could, making sure to keep eye contact with an expression that was reading properly. But she couldn’t quite remember him, or how he knew her.

“Tony, the inside looks amazing!” Laura beamed, admiring the interior of the house. After only a moment, Tony was walking away with her parents as he promised to show them a new renovation he did. Y/N was left alone in the foyer, the crowd now seeming a lot louder in the absence of the only two people she knew at the party. As great as it was to see Tony Stark, it wasn’t as great to be at another party alone, Y/N thought. She weighed her options, and ultimately decided to head for the bar.

Although at parties she was usually on her best behavior, Y/N knew this house was full of rich celebrities and individuals alike who didn’t care about rules. She wasn’t 21, but had drank with her friends before without her parents' knowledge. A few drinks wouldn’t hurt, and she knew no one would care- as long as her parents didn’t see. But Laura and Paul weren’t in sight, and the many bottles of alcohol were calling Y/N’s name.

She sat at one of the bar stools, adjusting her green dress to sit comfortably. A redhead turned to face the young girl, only looking up to make eye contact once Y/N spoke. “One shot of vodka, please, and a martini.” She ordered. The redhead raised her eyebrow, but nodded and prepared the drinks. She slid over a shot glass of the clear liquid, Y/N immediately taking it and downing it no problem. The woman behind the bar smiled, impressed, as she placed the martini down in the empty shot glass’s stead.

“Not a big party person?” The redhead asked. Y/N laughed, shaking her head and taking a small sip of the martini.

“Not really. I go to so many, they get old fast.” She spoke, careful not to overshare. She had some sense of comfort at this party, knowing everyone here was famous or known in some way. Most of them probably didn’t care about politics, let alone a senator's daughter. Y/N could be an average girl here. The redhead laughed, leaning against the counter behind her and crossing her arms.

“I get it. I’m always down for a party in celebration of something, like this one.” The redhead told her. Y/N nodded, understanding that feeling.

“What’re we celebrating tonight?” She asked. Before the redhead could answer, a whizzing sound could be heard. Within seconds, a large boom shook the house, leaving Y/N with wide eyes as the crowd screamed and scattered.

“Get down!” The redhead told the young girl, helping her move behind the bar quickly. She pulled her down, the two of them ducking below the counter as the sounds of more small explosions and gunshots rang through the house. “I’m Natasha, by the way.” The redhead spoke, peeking up every few seconds to gauge the situation.

“I- I’m Y/N.” The girl responded, too terrified to even formally introduce her full name. She preferred just her first name anyway, less formalities, but for now that didn’t matter as her name could be splayed on a grave if she didn’t focus. Her heart was racing as Natasha and her continued to hide behind the bar, debris from the chaos occasionally flying over.

Screams echoed through the house, the sound of heels and dress shoes crunching broken glass and debris as people ran filled the large rooms. Y/N’s eyes remained wide, her breath hitching when Natasha pulled out a gun and began to shoot over the counter. ‘Who is this woman?’ Y/N thought, now seeing the bartender become some kind of security personnel.

The gun firing died down for a moment, and Natasha bent back down to Y/N’s level. “We need to go, I need you to follow me.” She spoke, trying to meet Y/N’s eyes that began to dissociate into the floor. She was panicking, her own mind making her feel like her death would come at any moment. “Y/N Y/L/N.” Natasha spoke firmly, putting a hand on the girl's arm.

Y/N’s eyes finally rose, now processing Natasha’s words. She realized Natasha had used her full name, somehow knowing it, but quickly brushed it off as the chaos continued. She nodded, and slowly stood with the redhead as they waited for the right moment to move from behind cover. They darted across the foyer, over broken glass and fallen drywall. A few stray bullets zoomed behind them, just missing the pair.

The girl’s jaw dropped in shock as she noticed there were a few bodies trapped underneath heavy beams that had fallen from the ceiling. After making sure Natasha wasn’t looking towards her, she flicked her eyes from the beam to the floor in front of her, pulling it toward her so it lifted off the body. As they began to leave the foyer, Y/N couldn’t do much more than that without holding up the redhead and alerting her of the ability she possessed, so for now she hoped it would be enough to save a life.

Natasha kept her gun propped upwards as she led the girl down one of the hallways. It was silent, almost too silent. Y/N tried to keep her panicked breathing quiet as she watched Natasha guiding the way.

As they turned a corner, Natasha stopped in her tracks, holding out her arm to prevent Y/N from walking even one step more. Less than a second later, a large explosion erupted in the hallway in front of them, just over a yard away. Y/N shielded her eyes, a few pieces of rubble flying at her with a sharp sting as they grazed her skin. Her eyes watered at the pain, but she remained focused as the adrenaline pumped through her.

Natasha immediately continued to run, soon opening a door that led outside. Down a dimly lit path stood a black van. Y/N’s heart dropped, was this woman trying to kidnap Y/N, or save her? At this point, the girl wasn’t sure- but running back inside didn’t sound too appealing. There were a few times when people attempted to harm the senators and their family, but it was usually easily avoided with the help of their personal security team. This time though, her family’s security team was nowhere in sight.

Speaking of family, Y/N soon realized her parents were caught up in the same attack. “My parents, I have to go find them,” Y/N spoke, her voice weak and full of worry. In the glow of the moon, Natasha could see the girl's eyes watering, her eyebrows caving in with fear. And her arm slowly dripped with blood, but it didn’t seem to bother her too much.

“Don’t worry about them, I promise they’re safe. We have to move, now.” Natasha spoke calmly, yet firmly. Y/N’s mind raced with a million more questions. How did Natasha know her parents were safe? Where were they? Where was Natasha taking her? But there was no time to ask as the redhead quickly sped toward the van.

Y/N could see the dark figures of a few other people getting in the van and already sitting inside. As they approached, Natasha opened the back doors and gestured for Y/N to step inside. She could see a few faces in the near dark, all staring directly at her. “Look, if you’re going to kidnap me at least just tell me. I can’t take any more surprises tonight.” Y/N begged, exhaling deeply as her eyes teared up. Natasha laughed, a few people inside the van adding a chuckle. Y/N looked at them, slightly appalled.

“We aren’t kidnapping you, your parents set this up. We’re saving you from getting kidnapped.” Natasha explained, slightly entertained. Y/N looked from her to the other passengers back and forth quickly, now more confused than ever.

“What?-” She began. There was no time to finish, as the sound of gunshots grew louder. Y/N quickly moved to step in the van, knowing it was her only shot at avoiding a bullet wound tonight. One of the passengers in the van reached out an arm to help her up, offering the seat next to him as everyone inside made room. Natasha quickly jumped inside after, closing the van doors with haste. The car sped off, making everyone lean to the side a bit as gravity pulled them.

The gunshots grew quieter, silence taking over the van as Tony’s house became smaller. Now that the immediate threat of getting shot wasn’t weighing over the girl, she looked around. She could see Natasha, and a few more men. A soft glow of technology came from the driver's seat of the car, lighting the man at the wheel’s face. It was Tony, manning the van. He wasn’t even touching the wheel now, as the car seemed to drive itself with a complex looking computer setup.

Natasha turned a small overhead light on, the back of the vehicle now being lit well enough for Y/N to make out the people sitting with her. A guy with dusty brown hair and a bow hooked over his shoulder, a larger guy with long blonde hair and a hammer of some kind, and a sandy haired guy sitting beside Y/N.

“Can I patch that up?” Natasha pointed to Y/N’s bleeding arm, the girl’s eyebrows raising as she finally noticed her injury. She nodded, Natasha switching places with the sandy haired guy so she could easily clean up the wound. As she wiped off the blood and cleaned the source of it, leaving Y/N wincing, she was able to take a closer look at the sandy haired character. Her expression twisted in confusion when she noticed his familiar face.

“I know you… how do I know you?” She asked him. He laughed, looking to the other passengers to exchange a glance. Natasha nodded at him, beginning to wrap gauze around Y/N’s arm. She looked around in frustration, annoyed that they all knew something she didn’t. Suddenly, it clicked. She recalled the man's face and where she saw him last. The man waited for her to say it, his eyebrows raised as he saw she connected the dots. “You’re my family’s security guard—Johnson…but you look slightly different?” She realized.

The man was definitely the security guard, but he wasn’t wearing sunglasses or a black tux. He also somehow looked more youthful, like his position as a security personnel involved a disguise. The man laughed. “I am… or was. Undercover.” He told her. She lifted an eyebrow, unsure what he meant by that. “I’m an agent for SHIELD. But more importantly, an Avenger. I’m Steve Rogers, this is Clint Barton, Thor, and you probably met Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff. Your parents needed extra security and we were put on the job.”

Y/N’s jaw dropped slightly. She knew about the Avengers. Their names often swirled government meetings or secret gatherings full of hushed voices. They were a hot topic in the political world, but even more incredibly, they were superheroes. “My parents are working with a bunch of superheroes? What did they need extra security for?” Y/N questioned. They were average senators, what could they possibly need a group of superheroes for?

Steve hesitated, looking at the group for a moment before continuing. “You.”

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

I’m gonna keep writing Nimona headcanons til someone stops me cause they’ve taken over my life

Ambrosius was forced to suppress his emotions basically his whole life 

He used to be one of those guys who would say shit like “I haven’t cried in 15 years”

But not as like a weird subtle brag just as stating a fact which made it more depressing 

Once the wall came down it’s like the floodgates opened this man will cry when he’s happy sad angry stressed 

You name it he’s crying 

And he’s not a pretty crier either which is funny cause there is a whole compilation of “Ambrosius being unreasonably photogenic” 

Bal was the typical crybaby growing up 

He was constantly bullied for it and it only got worse when he was at the institute 

A lot of his classmates and teachers would try and be “helpful” and give him tips to stop crying  

Ambrosius was the only one who encouraged him to cry and deal with all his emotions 

It’s pretty rare to see Bal cry now but it happens occasionally when he’s sad or stressed or really happy  

Seeing Nimona cry is a rare phenomenon 

Bal and Ambrosius have only ever seen her cry four times 

The first was when they were on Gloreth’s statue at the end of the movie, the second Gloreth’s statue was fully taken down, the third was when the adoption paperwork was finalized and the fourth was their wedding 

But she denies it literally every single time 

Pinky promises are sacred for the trio

Back when the boys were training they would only make pinky promises about big things 

And if they broke those promises there would be big consequences like giving up your dessert for two months 

It was a habit that Bal subconsciously passed onto Nimona 

The trio never really talked about it but there was a silent mutual understanding that they held weight

The first pink promise Ambrosius ever made was right after Nimona started trusting him and had enough respect for him to hold a conversation without hissing 

And he swore that he would never consciously hurt Bal or Nimona again 

Nimona made a joke about that being a big promise to make 

And Ambrosius said “That’s why it’s a pinky promise”

I feel like Bal and Ambrosius never tried to hide their relationship the kingdom is just stupid 

They were highly encouraged by the staff and family to keep it under wraps but they said fuck that noise I wanna hold my boyfriend's hand in public 

The fellow knights in training knew something was up but they didn’t figure it out until the wall fell

Todd was the most outspoken when they first started dating he used to go around and tell people “No one looks at their bro like that”

After a while they stopped giving a fuck and they didn’t really have enough time or energy to ask because they were too busy getting their asses handed to them by the boys 

A lot of citizens had this weird misconception that they had this heated and bitter rivalry 

There were entire articles written about how they were “The rivals of the century” 

And the boys would get together and dramatically read every single one of them

Whenever the boys were in a bad mood they would reference the articles like this 

“Hey sunshine did you know I joined the institute specifically to dethrone you?” “You know what moonbeam I didn’t but thanks for telling me” 

“Bal I just want you to know that I am utterly seething at the cruel defeat by your hand” “Oh I’m so sorry love I’ll make sure to kick your ass nicer next time”

[sanjithesimp]

♡ insatiable ft. min yoongi♡

a/n: idk what’s this but i loved it.

warnings: nsfw (minors DNI).fem reader. pwp (porn with very little plot). ANGST. fingering. oral sex. penetration. reader is called slut.

summary: now im heartbroken and horny (even though i wrote it, lol)

playlist to listen

you whimper as he continues on devouring you, he’s truly insatiable when it comes to you. he doesn’t even wait to get to the room, he fucks you right there in the small couch on the living room. you think that maybe someone will see you fucking through the big windows, but unlike you he never cares, because when you two are together nothing else matters. and soon you join him and forget all about that.

“fuck baby, you’re fucking wet…is it because of me?” he asked you, his lips just a few centimeters from your cunt, his chin dripping with your juices.

“yeah-” you almost whispered, feeling embarrassed.

“what did you say princess?” he said, looking right back at you with those dark eyes filled with lust.

“yes, it’s because of you” he smiled devilishly, getting back to eating you like there was no tomorrow.

“say that you’re all mine…” yoongi said fucking your cunt with his long fingers, feeling the cold of his rings on your folds as he pumped them deep inside you.

and yes, you were all his but he wasn’t completely yours, or at least he was yours for the night. as for the next day you know you’ll wake up and his side of the bed will be cold. like he was never there.

“i’m all yours, daddy” you said, but you felt like crying. even though this was all based in sex and secrets. you had started developing feelings for him, you hated yourself for that because he was a married man but you couldn’t help to fall for him. you had those moments where you felt like he was yours and only yours. where he didn’t only treat you like one of his girls.

sometimes the way he would look at you. the way he would hold you tight at night until you fell asleep. or the way he would cook for you so that you ate because you had some terrible habits. you felt like the only girl in the world for him.

you felt like crying but you had to remind yourself that you and him would never happen. he was one of the most important men in the world and along with his wife they had created this empire of real estate. you had no chance.

you were the secret he would have to take to his grave, so his popularity and status wouldn’t be ruined. and you constantly had to remind it to yourself, so you would never give yourself a chance to feel anything more than just the pleasure washing on you whenever you fucked him.

“please, just fuck me” you said, trying again to remind yourself that was the reason he always appeared on your front door with that million dollar smile.

“you’re so fucking needy, such a little slut” he said biting his lip, before standing up and pushing you further on the bed. he then unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants and then released his throbbing cock from inside his boxers. his pink tip dripping with precum, eager to be inside your velvety walls.

“do you have any condoms doll?” you then opened the small drawer from your night stand, and pulled one. he then ripped the wrap with his mouth and placed the condom on his cock.

you bit your lip, anticipating the feeling of being filled with his thick cock all the way to the brim. the slight burn when he first introduced himself into you, inch by inch.

he fucked you so rough you would not be able to walk properly for a couple of days, but you didn’t care. he made you forget all about your worries and fears for a moment. you wrapped your legs around him as he thrusted in and out of you. one of his hands on your neck, applying just enough pressure. the pure sight could make him cum, your tits bouncing as he rammed into you, his hand leaving slight marks around your neck, and tears running down your cheeks ruining your perfect make up.

he then pressed his hand on your belly, making you feel him completely. “look, i’m the only one who can fuck you and ruin you like this…” he thrusted into you, almost like fucking those words into you, not letting you forget that you were his.

you were getting closer to your release as his hands played with one of your nipples and his mouth focused on the other nipple, sucking, biting and licking it until it was hard. you begged him for more. “yoongi- more, i-i’m close” you said in between moans and whimpers. and you both came at the same time, your juices ruining the bedsheets as he continued fucking you, overstimulating you until your legs gave out.

“i love this” he said, his forehead on yours. his skin glistening with sweat and his pink lips grazing your lips.

“i love you” you said, and before you could even regret the words he stood up.

“i have to go” yoongi said as he started getting dressed and leaving you again.

[frvnkcastles]

May I have something where it dort of explores past sh? Where the reader is cutting mango or avocado I the palm of her hand and cuts through the shin into her hand and she just stands there for ages just staring as she's bleeding weighing up how much she can get away with on accident without frank bringing in Matt the Human Lie Detector, and she goes in for a second swipe when frank comes back from the shower and she tries playing it off like she just cut her hand and hea right up in there wanting to help but he notices the partal deeper in the top end so its been done over again? Right over the crease over her palm fluff and comfort please?

THE WAY I HELD YOUR HAND ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: You give in to the urges and Frank helps you with the aftermath.

Warnings: SELF-HARM, hurt/comfort, feminine nicknames, language

Word count: 1.2k

Author’s note: This is a heavy one, so read with caution (or skip entirely if you feel like it might be too much!) I’m sending you so much love anon, I know from experience what a struggle it can be to stay sober but I believe in you! Stay strong, you deserve to heal <3

With Frank’s support, you had managed to abstain from harming yourself for a while now. He gave all the credit to you — he was just along for the ride, and you were the one who did all the work. Nevertheless, he had been a massive comfort, always distracting you when you felt the urge and encouraging you to try again if you fell back into the cycle. You wanted to get rid of the habit of hurting yourself, anyway, but he gave you extra motivation to do it, as you really wanted to prove to him that you could do it and make him proud in the process. Of course, he was proud of you no matter what, but whatever it took to give you the boost you needed, he was okay with.

So, with him constantly by your side, you started to unlearn the knee-jerk reaction of hurting yourself and grow out of it. It had been a long while since you had succumbed to the compulsion, and you didn’t think you would lose yourself to it anytime soon.

That was why you were surprised yourself with how quickly you changed your mind. It had been a long, tiring day and maybe that explained your struggle to slice through the mango you had grabbed in the need of a snack — either way, the knife slipped and in the blink of an eye, you had cut your palm open. Blood began seeping out and you froze on the spot, unable to move or react in any way.

You stood there, staring at the wound that painted your skin redder by the second. You dropped the mango on the kitchen counter and swallowed hard, your thoughts laser-focused on what had been an accident but suddenly felt so fateful. Instead of trying to stifle the bleeding, your first instinct was to watch it dribble down your wrist and wonder how long you could drag this out. You were thrown right back into that old state of mind where you let the pain linger, where it felt like you were punishing yourself, and deservedly so.

You knew Frank would worry. And you also knew that he wouldn’t buy any flimsy stories about it being an accident — which it was, at first, but before you fully even processed what you were doing, you were swiping the knife across your skin once more. All those old feelings came rushing back, causing you to lose track of your surroundings. You couldn’t focus on anything else except the mixture of relief and regret pounding at your head and heart, and you let the moment go on for longer than you should have.

”Sweetheart, what happened?” Frank’s worried voice broke through your trance, his large hand coming to cradle yours with his eyes wide and alert. You hadn’t noticed him getting out of the shower, and immediately, you felt embarrassed about being caught, but you couldn’t get a single word out. ”Darlin’, you’re bleedin’. Shit”, he went on, his usually calm voice trembling with panic. You didn’t blame him, there was a lot of blood dripping onto the counters, after all.

”It—it was an accident”, you stammered out, shaking off your daze as you watched Frank grab the kitchen towel and wrap it around your hand to apply pressure and stop the bleeding.

”Gotta be more careful, sweetheart. This ain’t just a small cut”, he acknowledged with a heavy heart, his protectiveness kicking in as he kept squeezing the towel against your palm. The burning pain made you grimace, the gravity of the situation finally sinking in, and you felt horrible guilt blossom in your chest as you realized you had undone all your progress within moments.

You fell into silence, fearing how Frank would react if you admitted you had deliberately hurt yourself, but he figured it out even without your admission. He gently removed the towel after a couple of minutes of pressure, and above the bigger cut, he could see the second one you had made on impulse. He frowned, inspecting your hand before looking up at you, only to instantly pick up on your troubled expression.

”Baby, I don’t think this was an accident”, he probed gently, not wanting to make you any more uncomfortable than you already were, but he also couldn’t leave it unmentioned. His heart raced in his chest, concern for you coursing through his veins as he watched you look away from him. ”Hey, hey, hey. Talk to me, sweet girl, what’s goin’ on? You haven’t been’ doin’ this for a while now. Did somethin’ happen?” he went on, tilting his head to catch your stare but you were too ashamed to face him.

”It really was an accident at first. But then I… I just got reminded of what it was like and I couldn’t control the urge and—and I just…”, you rambled, not even entirely sure what had come over you, what would be good enough justification. A tear slipped from your eye and you sniffled, wishing you could undo what you had done, but at the same time feeling like you deserved further pain for your mistake.

Nodding in understanding, Frank reached with one hand to wipe your cheeks while supporting your palm in the other. ”Alright, sweetheart. I’m real sorry I wasn’t here to help you through it. But I’m here now and I’mma make sure we get this all cleaned up and we can keep talkin’ about it, yeah?” he promised, not a hint of judgment in his voice as he calmly reassured you.

”I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I did it. I was doing so well”, you spoke shakily, so upset that you would have to start all over again. But Frank didn’t see it that way.

”Oh, baby, you’re still doin’ well. It’s a setback, but it ain’t the end of everything you worked so hard for. Givin’ in once doesn’t mean you’re a lost cause. You can always stop again. You’re incredibly strong, hear me?” he insisted, having complete faith in you, and it soothed your thumping heart a little to hear it from him.

”I feel like I let you down”, you confessed quietly, finally looking him in the eye, and his heart ached at your words. He understood that he played a big part in your recovery, but he hadn’t realized just how much you valued his opinion and support.

”You could never. Never, got that? I’m always in awe of you, sweet darlin’, and nothin’ will ever change that. I can’t even imagine how tough it gotta be to fight the urge but you do it, anyway. That’s fuckin’ amazing”, Frank swore, meaning every word. He cupped your face with his free hand and leaned in to kiss your forehead, staying connected to you for a moment before pulling back and locking eyes with you.

”I love you, yeah? I know you can do this”, he added, and with a careful nod, you promised to at least try. He gave you the smallest of smiles, almost impossible to even notice, but you knew just how much care and affection it contained for you.

”Thanks, Frankie”, you returned the smile, warming his heart.

”There’s my girl”, he praised before turning back to your hand. ”Think we gotta pay a visit to the emergency room, sweetheart. Might need stitches”, he declared, and sighing, you supposed he was right.

But with him by your side, it would be okay, and you would bravely fight the urge next time it would dawn on you.

[pathologicalreid]

hiii :)) I just wanna say I absolutely love your work, and I love the way you write Spencer! I squeal everything I get a notification from you, honestly.

please could I request a spencer reid x female!reader where the reader suffers from trichotillomania (a hair pulling disorder.) One day spencer walks in on her having an "episode" where she stands in front of the mirror and starts pulling her hair (mostly her eyelashes) and she tries to stop but the urge to keep doing it is too strong and she physically can't stop herself. So spencer gently moves her away from the mirror and comforts her when she starts crying because she just can't seem to stop doing it and she's frustrated at herself. So he talks her through it gently and gives her advice and maybe he throws in a few positive facts to help her calm down?

Im so sorry if you find this a bit weird and you can totally just ignore this but this is something that I suffer from personally and its gotten really bad lately. So I just thought this would maybe ease it a little bit :) tysm!

resilient | S.R.

in which your boyfriend lends you a hand when your own are working against you

who? spencer reid x fem!reader

category? hurt/comfort

content warnings: possibly triggering for those with trichotillomania or other compulsions. please take caution when reading and take care of yourselves. mentions of anxiety and therapy. reader is referred to as "sweetheart".

word count: 879

a/n: hi anon! thank you for requesting! i'm so sorry this took me so long to write! i wanted to make sure i did thorough research while also trying to balance finals and work, but i finally think it turned out pretty good. i hope you like it and i love you very much.

The door squeaked open, but you didn’t hear it. Sometimes it felt like you were in your own little world, just stood in front of the mirror. It started with a long day at work, and it ended with pulling.

When you were younger, you pulled from your scalp so much that you couldn’t wear your hair down. In college, you moved to your eyelashes. Your therapist explained to you that it was how your brain dealt with stress. The way some people exercise or drink, you pull your hair out.

You got a new therapist when you moved to Virginia, you tested healthy coping habits and tried to find methods that would prevent you from pulling. A few days ago, you tried band-aids on your fingertips, but they fell off and instead of replacing them, you just pulled.

Just a few, you told yourself. Just a few to help the anxiety, you tried to bargain with your brain that was actively working against you. You put your hands down at your sides, constantly flexing your fingers before lifting your hands to your eyes again.

A hand placed on yours brought you out of your bubble, and you jumped slightly when you looked ahead of you and weren’t met with your reflection, but rather the familiar eyes of your boyfriend. Golden on the inside, just as they’d always been. “What’s wrong?” He asked you, clasping both of your hands in his and bringing them down between your bodies.

It was never his intention, but you couldn’t help but feel like a deer in the headlights. A child caught getting into something they shouldn’t have. “I don’t- I didn’t… I thought…” You stammered, not quite knowing the words you wanted to use to describe the struggle.

You looked over your shoulder at the mirror as Spencer gently led you into your bedroom, one of two designated ‘no mirror’ zones in the apartment. “It’s okay,” he whispered, his voice gentle as he tried to console you. “What do you need? What can I do?”

At his concern, your face crumpled, and tears welled in your eyes, “I’m so sorry, Spence.” You whispered, your voice warbling through the tears. Hot streams of water ran down your face, “I thought that I could just do a little. I thought I could stop,” you were fully crying now.

He shook his head, “this is a compulsion, sweetheart. You can’t just be done with it, okay? It’s alright to have bad days,” he told you, moving one of his hands to wipe the tears from under your eyes. “Recovery from trichotillomania takes time, but I’m here.” He leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, “I’m here for all of it.”

You knew that he meant well, but his words just made more tears well in your eyes, “You’re so good.” You whispered, “I wish I was stronger.”

“You are the strongest person that I know,” he told you, holding both of your hands in his, skimming the pad of his thumb over your knuckles. “You are so strong, and you can overcome this. It just takes time,” he told you, his voice was strong and reassuring. If he believed you were this resilient, then you would just have to live up to that.

Your shoulders slouched forward, “I didn’t like the band-aids.” You admitted they made it hard to do things, and the sticky residue they left on your fingers made you uncomfortable.

He looked at your hands thoughtfully, “I read about someone who used petroleum jelly on their fingers to dissuade them from pulling. Would you be willing to try that?”

Nodding slowly, you wiggled your fingers, the petroleum jelly would make your fingers too slippery to pull your eyelashes out. You’d have to be good at reapplying, though. “Sure,” you whispered, the last of your tears running to a stop on your cheeks and neck.

Spencer sat you down on the bed before walking into the bathroom and you wrapped your arms around yourself self-consciously.

“How was work?” You called out, it wasn’t often Spencer left in the morning and came back that same evening.

In the bathroom, you heard the cabinet opening and closing, Spencer sighed. “A lot of the same. People commit crimes, I find them,” he said, walking back into the bedroom with a container in hand.

Gingerly, Spencer took your hand and started applying a layer of petroleum jelly to your fingers, focusing on your fingertips. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, focusing your eyes on your hands.

“I understand that your anxiety is making you feel like you need to apologize, but I really wish you wouldn’t apologize. Not to me, and not for this,” he murmured.

You took a deep breath, “I’m… Thank you,” you corrected yourself.

He hummed, lifting your hands so you could see how they shone, “This doesn’t define you, you know that, right? ‘The whole is greater than the sum of the parts’, and I love all of you. Even the parts of yourself that you don’t love.”

Your head lifted, and the corner of your mouth quirked up, “Did you just quote Aristotle at me?”

Spencer nodded gently, “I quoted Aristotle to you.”

Despite yourself, you smiled, “I love you too.”

[cherienymphe]

The Less I Know The Better IX (JJ Maybank x Reader x Rafe Cameron)

Warnings: eventual NON-CON, eventual DUB-CON, jealousy, manipulation, DUI, mentions of blood, underage drinking, drug use, mild unhealthy relationship, eventual violence, one sided kiara x jj, non canon ages, pogue!reader

➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies​ | divider by @firefly-graphics​

➥ series masterlist

summary:  When you start dating Rafe Cameron, no one is more surprised than you when your best friend JJ takes it really well. However, no one is more surprised than JJ when he’s forced to see his once frumpy BFF in an entirely new light, suddenly terrified of losing what he never knew he had to the person he hates most.

~

It was hard to keep your eyes open, lashes fluttering and nails scraping along the railing. Rafe’s hands were tight on your waist, pulling you back against him to meet his thrusts. Your breath was shaky, moans and whimpers interrupting your breathing. Your legs were trembling, and you were sure that the only thing that kept you standing was Rafe.

He pressed his chest to your back, hovering over you and nipping at your ear. It was dark, the only light coming from that of the half moon in the sky. It was Rafe’s idea to spend a night on his dad’s boat, taking it out during the evening and having a sleepover on the water. You hadn’t hesitated to agree, and your boyfriend was taking full advantage of your seclusion. This was the second time you’d had sex today, your cunt greedily gripping Rafe and desperate for more.

“Louder, baby,” he groaned in your ear. “Louder. I want to hear you…”

As if to force your hand, he fucked you harder, making you gasp, breath hitching. Rafe’s name tumbled from your lips, and you reached back, nails pressing into his skin. You could feel how wet you were, feel it dripping down your legs. Your bathing suit was wherever, thrown haphazardly over Rafe’s shoulder the minute he got it off of you.

You could feel your stomach burning, skin blazing as he fucked you towards your climax. Rafe could feel it too, pulling you closer and backing up. He kept you against him as he sat down, fucking himself up into you with one hand sliding up your chest and circling your throat. Your fingers pressed into his thighs as you steadied yourself, moans climbing out of your throat.

He forced you up and down his cock, a groan leaving him as he stretched you out. Your thighs were shaking, and your breath grew choppy, and the only thing that kept your head upright was Rafe’s hand on your neck.

“Rafe,” you mumbled. “Rafe, I’m-.”

You cut yourself off, coming around him with a gasp, falling against him. Rafe was more than happy to hold you in place, pushing his cock into you and fucking you through it. You felt yourself shudder again when he spilled into you, one of his hands sliding over your stomach. Now, that you were on birth control, Rafe didn’t always use a condom, but your pregnancy scare didn’t allow you to let him make a habit of it.

When you fell to the side, Rafe slipping out of you, he reached for the blanket he’d brought. He wrapped it around you and pulled you against him, mindful of how cold you could get. You leaned your head on his shoulder, still fighting to catch your breath.

“Ward doesn’t mind about the boat?”

“Your birth control is fighting off my sperm as we speak, and you want to talk about my dad?”

You made a face, and Rafe chuckled. He leaned in to press a kiss to the side of your head, taking a deep breath.

“I didn’t really ask, but…as long as she’s back as perfect as she always is, he doesn’t care.”

“She?” you questioned. “What is with you guys and constantly comparing your favorite objects to women? You, John B., JJ.”

You laughed to yourself, but Rafe didn’t join you.

“Just a guy thing, I guess,” he murmured, and you shifted.

Your eyes met his, concerned.

“You okay…?”

Rafe slowly blinked at you, gaze unreadable and hair going every which way.

“Peachy. How is JJ, by the way?”

You knew what he was referring to, and it made you smile. He didn’t like JJ, that was no secret, but you were glad he asked about him because he knew how much you cared about him.

“Good,” you said with a nod, pausing. “Well, as good as he can be.”

You shook your head.

“Him and his dad… I don’t even know how to describe it.”

Your gaze lowered.

“I beg him and I beg him to get out, but JJ is one of those people where family is family,” you scoffed. “He’s going to stick by him no matter what, and I hate it.”

You had similar thoughts about Rafe, but you kept that to yourself. Sometimes it scared you just how alike he and JJ were, just how much they had in common. You both heard and felt Rafe sigh, and you wondered if his mind had gone to the same place that yours had.

“You’re a good friend,” Rafe murmured, and you looked at him just as he brushed a finger down your face. “I like that about you.”

You gave him a soft smile.

“I try to be.”

Sometimes you doubted yourself. Especially when it came to JJ. You often wondered if you were wrong to put your history with Rafe behind you. It wasn’t like you had talked to any of them besides Sarah about it first. Someone somewhere would probably argue that you didn’t need to, but you weren’t so sure.

It wasn’t like Rafe had only been mean to you. He had an ugly history with all of you, JJ especially, and while the morals behind it were subjective, you were sure almost anyone could agree that it was insensitive at best. It was like JJ announcing that he was seeing some girl who’d made your life hell at one point, and you suddenly had a better perspective on his side of things.

You were pulled from your thoughts when Rafe stood. You watched him pull on his pants before reaching into the pocket. You straightened, curious as he pulled out a small box.

“I know fancy jewelry isn’t your thing,” he started, sitting back down. “…and this reminded me of you, anyway.”

Rafe opened it, pulling out a simple gold necklace with a pink seashell attached. On instinct, you turned around, and he brought it over your head. His fingers brushed over your skin as he clasped it, hands resting on your shoulders as you played with it.

“You like it, right?”

Your eyes met his over your shoulder, and you brushed your lips over his, reassuring him.

“Of course, I do.”

He nodded, a crooked smile on his lips. His fingers ghosted over your hand, and Rafe exhaled.

“I don’t want you to think I’m trying to buy you or anything like that,” he quietly told you. “…but all I want to do is buy you everything I see.”

He chuckled, and you joined him.

“I’m not used to it, that’s all. That’s the only reason it makes me a little uncomfortable, but I don’t think that. Besides,” you said, kissing him. “I can’t be bought anyway.”

“You sure you don’t want a snow cone?” Kie asked again as she brought John B. his, happy with her own.

“I’m good. They can get messy anyway.”

“That’s half the fun,” Pope spoke up, leaning back in his seat.

Kie took her seat too, excited for the movie to start.

It was warm outside, but not too warm to the point of being uncomfortable. You could hear some parents shushing their kids, the projector turning on as the sun made its descent. You felt like it had been a minute since all of you hung out like you used to, no tension or unspoken words hovering around. JJ’s arm brushed against yours as he shifted in his seat, and you smiled at him.

After he had apologized, things felt more like what they used to be than they had in a while. You didn’t know if it was because JJ had snapped, letting out everything he’d been keeping inside for months and making you aware of just how much he’d been struggling with this… Or because everything being out and in the open now had relieved him, had been the first necessary step to actually trying now.

“Rafe didn’t want to come?”

JJ’s voice was low, but you heard him all the same. You resisted the urge to sigh, remembering the disappointment on your face when Rafe had to decline.

“Family thing,” was your only explanation.

Neither of you commented on the fact that Sarah was here, clearly not held to the same obligations that Rafe was. Ward wasn’t even your dad, and you swore he pissed you off almost as much as he did Rafe. Sometimes you wanted to talk about it, but Rafe wasn’t known for expressing his emotions in a healthy way, and that hadn’t changed just because he was dating you. You would’ve loved to at least talk to Sarah about it, wanting some help on what you could do, but that…

That didn’t seem like a good idea.

You loved Sarah, like a sister, but you doubted that she’d ever admit to Ward’s favoritism. Sure, Rafe didn’t help the situation, but Sarah would probably never accept that it had been happening since she was born. She’d take it the wrong way, would feel like you were saying she had some blame, and you only just got one friendship back on steady ground. You didn’t want to shake the table on another.

JJ could probably relate to Rafe the most, but considering how much abuse JJ had to put up with, you didn’t know if he’d appreciate you coming to him about Rafe. JJ wouldn’t think the two situations were comparable. He’d probably laugh in your face if you tried to make him feel bad for Rafe Cameron, the guy who seemingly had everything. You could practically see how that would go.

“His dad gives him a hard time here and there and suddenly he’s like me? Tell me more about him confiding in you while lounging on his daddy’s yacht,” he’d say.

You were so deep in thought, the movie just a blur to you now, that you almost missed the vibration in your pocket. Your phone was on silent, but not off, and you slipped it out of your pocket with a frown. It deepened at the sight of Rafe’s name. You could feel eyes on you when you stood, slipping away to answer it without disturbing anyone.

“Hey…”

Your tone was inquiring. Rafe knew that you were at movie night with your friends, so you gathered that he wouldn’t have called you if it wasn’t important. You were right.

“Hey…uh…” you heard him sniff, and you stiffened. “You still at that movie thing?”

“Yeah,” you glanced over your shoulder at your friends. “Rafe, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he hurried to say. “I just uh…I really need to see you.”

He was lying.

You could tell that something was wrong. It was evident in the way his voice shook, in the way he slurred his words a bit, and you remembered that he’d been with Ward tonight. You wondered what happened, what the other man had sad, and your hand tightened on your phone.

“Um,” you breathed, looking around. “I can come by-.”

“No, no, no, I can come get you,” he interrupted, and you could hear him starting his truck. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll come get you.”

He hung up before you could say anything else, and while you felt bad about leaving your friends, your concern outweighed that. They were curiously looking at you when you returned, watching you grab your stuff.

“Everything okay?” Sarah wondered.

“I don’t know,” you honestly answered. “Rafe is getting me. Something’s wrong.”

Sarah looked worried, and you shook your head, calming her down.

“No one’s hurt or anything…I don’t think,” you added. “He…he sounded off. Something’s wrong.”

Her shoulders fell at that, and they all looked disappointed that you were leaving. JJ’s expression was unreadable when you looked at him.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized to all of them. “He knows I’m here with you, so he wouldn’t call if it wasn’t serious-.”

“Y/N, it’s okay. There’ll be other movie nights.”

John B.’s words made you feel better, and you waved them all goodbye. You were barely in the parking lot for a minute when Rafe’s truck pulled in. He was quick to park, hopping out and helping you put your stuff in the back seat. You eyed him, taking in his taut expression, jaw clenched.

He didn’t say anything when he helped you inside, leaving you to stare at the door when he closed it. Your eyes were on him again when he hopped in, his own cold gaze focused on the road as he pulled off. You wanted to give him a minute, a chance maybe to get his mind together, but it became clear that he wasn’t going to tell you what was wrong.

So, you asked.

“Did something happen?”

Rafe blinked at that, pulling his lips between his teeth. His skin stretched over his knuckles as he tightened his hand on the wheel, briefly looking out the window.

“Rafe…”

You were getting worried. He was so quiet, and that unnerved you. You reached for him when you noticed his lips trembling.

“I don’t know what he wants from me,” he slowly said.

You sighed, disappointment and anger filling you as you realized what and who this was about.

“He’s not happy when I fuck up…a-and he’s not happy when I do something right…”

“Rafe-.”

“I mean…I’m starting to think that he’s just not happy with me…at all. As in, what am I even doing here?”

“Don’t-.”

“…because it’s becoming pretty clear to me that he doesn’t want me around, at all.”

“Rafe, please don’t say that,” you whispered. “That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?” he bit out, teeth clenched. “What else am I supposed to think when me simply existing seems to upset him. What else could that possibly mean?”

He looked at you then, and that was when you noticed it. Rafe took notice of your gaze, and his face fell just as your heart did, reaching up to wipe his nose as he turned his face back towards the road.

“Are you high?”

Rafe didn’t answer, opening and closing his mouth, but his silence was confirmation enough. You heaved a sigh, more disappointed than anything else.

“Rafe, pull over.”

He didn’t listen to you, hands tightening on the wheel, mind more than likely going a mile a minute.

“You know Sarah didn’t even have to come tonight? Nah, of course, you knew because she was with you, right?”

“She was,” you quietly confirmed, just focused on trying to get him to calm down.

Your boyfriend laughed at that, but it lacked humor, filled with bitterness instead.

“He’s already decided that she’ll turn out better than me. Already made his choice,” he forced out, and your chest tightened at the tears in his eyes. “I almost wish he’d just wash his hands of me and be done with it.”

“No-.”

“That’d be better than whatever this is,” he choked out. “At least I’d know where I stand.”

The trees were flying past you when you looked out of the window, and you swallowed.

“That’s because he hasn’t given up on you,” you tried to placate him, but you were also speaking your mind.

“Bullshit,” he sneered, shaking his head.

“Rafe, you need to slow down,” you told him, hand on his arm.

“He’s taking her to the Bahamas with him,” he choked out, ignoring your words. “Sarah. He’s taking her to talk about the company, but not me? His oldest? His only son?”

His eyes were on you, one hand grazing his chest, and you fought with him to keep his eyes on the road.

“Rafe…”

He was rambling, pupils blown and mind moving too fast for his lips to keep up with. Your heart raced when you glanced at the speedometer, and again, you tried to get him to pull over or at least slow down. You wiped his face, but it was like he didn’t fully register your presence, talking to you but not really seeing or hearing you.

“You’re the only one who’s on my side,” he tearfully told you, looking at you.

“Okay, okay, but Rafe, I need you to look at-.”

“The only one who actually cares about me and what I want.”

“I know,” you whispered, nodding with him. “…but I really need you to keep your eyes on the road.”

He glanced at the road, but that didn’t last long, his gaze returning to you.

“…and I don’t know what I would do without you, because you actually listen to me…and you see how he treats me…and you’re always there…”

His words became background noise when you glanced at the road again, watching as his truck drifted into the other lane again. You almost pulled your eyes away when headlights caught your attention. Your eyes widened, hands tightening on him as you let out a gasp.

“Rafe!”

Your scream had him following your gaze, and he was quick to swerve back into his lane, but between the coke and the panic, he overcorrected.

You braced your hands against the glove compartment as the truck dipped down off of the road, the speed at which Rafe was driving causing it to flip completely. You squeezed your eyes shut just as the sound of breaking glass reached your ears, and you could feel Rafe’s arm pressing against your chest.

A scream was stuck in your throat, stomach flipping in time with the vehicle. One of your hands was clinging to Rafe’s arm, the other to your seatbelt, now. You were gritting your teeth so hard it was a wonder they didn’t break, and as the truck rolled again, your head hit the inside of the passenger door. Even with your eyes closed, stars clouded your vision.

His truck came to an abrupt stop when the tail end of it hit a tree, a startled gasp escaping you. The ringing in your ears was loud, and your eyes were still closed, not quite remembering how to open them. Adrenaline was coursing through you, and you knew that once it disappeared, everything was going to hit your body at once.

When you peeled your eyes open, the first thing you noticed was that your vision swam. You could hear Rafe stumbling out of the truck, and you could barely keep everything from swaying. You blinked, reaching up to touch your head just as Rafe opened your door. He was saying something to you, but you couldn’t quite make it out.

He reached over you, undoing your seatbelt and practically carrying you out.

“Does anything hurt? Y/N?” he called your name when you didn’t answer.

“I don’t…I don’t know,” you honestly answered as he set you on your feet.

You brought your hand up, noticing the blood on it, and your mind didn’t register how alarming that was. Rafe’s hands were on your face, forcing you to look at him.

“Look at me,” he whispered, lightly tapping your face when your lashes fluttered. “Baby, look at me.”

The world was tilting again, and he caught you when your knees buckled. You could hear his heart racing in his chest, hear him swallow as he held you to him.

“Okay, okay,” he breathed. “We’re going to get you to the hospital. I’m calling Topper.”

“You can’t…you can’t come,” you slowly exhaled.

Rafe paused with the phone in his hand, frowning at you. He helped you stand up straight, leaning you against his truck. He looked at you like you were crazy, some blood on his cheek from where some glass got him.

“What are you…?”

“You’re high,” his voice trailed off when you spoke, pointing out the obvious to him.

You watched his face fall, the realization hitting him, and he licked his lips. Rafe glanced away, expression troubled before shaking his head.

“I don’t care-.”

“Rafe,” your voice held more conviction, now. “You crashed your truck. You almost caused a really bad accident…and you’re high.”

He opened and closed his mouth, trying to find the words to argue with you.

“Please… You can’t come with me,” you struggled to say. “Let Topper take me, and I’ll just meet you back at your house.”

Rafe ran one hand through his hair, a deep frown on his face.

“I can’t just leave you-.”

“I will meet you back at your house,” you tried to stand on your own, but swayed again, and his arms wrapped around your waist. “Call Sarah. Just tell her…I got into an accident, and I’ll come back with her.”

Rafe looked like he wanted to argue so badly, lips pressed together and tears in his eyes, but he knew you were right. They would ask him all kinds of questions, check him out too, and you didn’t want to think about what would happen, what Ward would say. He leaned you against him while he called Topper, routinely shaking you to keep you awake.

“Oh my God,” Sarah cried, pulling you into a hug.

You had paperwork in your hand as you hugged her back. Her arms were tight around you, and when you visibly flinched, she was quick to let you go. You hated hospitals, and you were relieved that you could finally go.

“When Rafe said you got into an accident, we all thought the worst,” she said.

You were pulling away from John B. now when Pope pulled you into a hug next.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Kie whispered, hands on your face. “What happened? They wouldn’t tell us anything.”

You sighed, licking your lips and avoiding their eyes.

“I was driving Rafe’s truck…when this car just came out of nowhere.”

It hurt to shrug, and your eyes met JJ’s then. He was frowning at you, studying your face, but he pulled you into a hug anyway. He deeply inhaled, breathing you in, and you didn’t want to think about how worried they’d all been. Especially JJ who struggled to let you go.

“You were driving Rafe’s truck by yourself?” John B. wondered, and you pulled away from JJ.

You hesitated, but Pope spoke before you could think about what you were going to say.

“You’re fine though, right?”

“Yeah,” you were quick to answer. “They said I have a slight concussion, but they gave me something for it and said that someone will need to monitor me for the next 12-24 hours. Watch me sleep. Wake me up every few hours and ask me questions, stuff like that.”

JJ was still frowning at you when you glanced at him again, and you quickly looked away.

“Of course,” Sarah said, taking your hand and guiding you out of the hospital. “Even if Rafe wasn’t frantic about you, you’d still be staying at my place, tonight.”

“Yeah, why wasn’t Rafe with you? And why didn’t he come to the hospital?”

You struggled to answer Kie’s question as you slid into the passenger seat of her jeep. The rest piled into the back seat, Sarah on John B.’s lap, but the Camerons’ house wasn’t far, so it wasn’t a big deal.

“Ward,” was all you could come up with, a lie.

It was a lie that was easy enough to believe, you supposed. However, when you looked in the mirror, your gaze meeting JJ’s, that frown was still on his face.

“Ward wouldn’t let Rafe come and see his girlfriend at the hospital after she crashed his car?”

You could tell by JJ’s tone that he didn’t believe you, and you looked out of the window.

“I guess not…”

You had only lost consciousness once during the hours that you’d spent at the hospital, waking up an hour later and waiting on an update on how you were. You had texted Rafe as soon as you knew, promising him that you would see him later. Even after Topper had arrived, you had spent a good fifteen minutes in Rafe’s yard convincing him to stay.

What had happened was an accident, a genuine accident, and Rafe felt bad enough without getting into serious trouble for driving under the influence. You felt sick to your stomach for lying to your friends about something so serious, but you knew how they would react. You knew that they would make it into something bigger.

Rafe’s truck was totaled, and you had to go to the hospital. There was no doubt in your mind that Rafe knew how badly he messed up. He didn’t need to hear it from them too.

They said their goodbyes when you and Sarah hopped out of Kie’s car, but they were cut short when JJ hopped out too. You thought that maybe he was getting in the front, taking your spot, but you frowned when he walked towards you. His blue eyes raked over you, taking in the cut on the side of your head and the slight bruising under your eye.

A sinking feeling grew in your gut.

“Rafe picked you up from movie night…”

You blinked, fighting to hold his gaze.

“So, how did you end up in his truck alone?”

“JJ,” you heard Kie sigh, frustration and disappointment coloring her tone.

“We all know what Rafe is like. Ward’s not gonna stop him from doing what he wants to do…” your heart sank. “So, why wasn’t he at the hospital with you? Why didn’t he at least meet you there? Hmm?”

You swallowed, unsure if it was the concussion or medicine or combination of both that kept you from coming up with an answer. JJ stared at you, and you stared at him, almost pleadingly as you silently begged him to let it go. JJ swiped his tongue along his lips, eyes dimming as he dropped his head, nodding to himself.

When he lifted his gaze to meet yours again, there was a small smile on his pink lips, but it lacked humor.

“Rafe was driving…wasn’t he?”

You didn’t answer, and your silence caused Sarah to look at you. You avoided her gaze, keeping your own on JJ as he did the same to you.

“Wait…what?” you heard Kie say.

She hurriedly got out of her car, followed by Pope and John B. now.

“Wait, wait,” Sarah finally spoke, hands up. “No. If Rafe was driving, he would’ve been at the hospital. He wouldn’t just leave her.”

“No, I don’t think he would,” JJ seemed reluctant to admit. “Unless someone made him.”

“JJ, that doesn’t make any sense,” John B. told him.

“It does if she’s protecting him,” he said with a shrug.

You rolled your eyes towards the sky at that, feeling angry even though you knew you had no right to be. It’s not like JJ was wrong, and it’s not like he was doing anything wrong by pointing out what you’d tried to hide. He was just being a good friend…but you hated him for it.

“JJ…”

“Let me guess…drunk…?”

“No,” Sarah quietly mumbled, in disbelief.

You crossed your arms over your chest, avoiding your friends’ eyes.

“No, wait, this is Rafe we’re talking about. So…high, right?”

When your tearful eyes met his again, the blond nodded, both satisfied and disappointed. The silence was loud, and you didn’t know what to say. You could feel all of them staring at you, and you licked your lips. Pope called your name, and you blinked, a few tears escaping as you looked at him.

“It was an accident,” you whispered to him, looking between all of them as they reacted. “It was an accident.”

“Are you kidding me?” Kie cried. “Look at you!”

“You act like he got behind the wheel with the intention of crashing his truck,” you argued. “He didn’t mean to!”

“He didn’t mean to? That’s the best you’ve got?”

Your head was hurting, and you didn’t pop enough pills to deal with this. You made your way towards the house, but you could hear footsteps right behind you. It should’ve come as no surprise that it was JJ.

“I am trying,” was the first thing he said when he forced you to face him. “I promised that I would be better, and I am trying, but you have to meet me halfway.”

You opened your mouth, but he continued.

“What am I supposed to say—do when you wind up in the hospital with bruises and a concussion because your boyfriend snorted a few lines of coke and thought it was a good idea to drive? Tell me how I’m supposed to react to that.”

You were at a loss for words…because he was right. JJ had every right to be angry, and that’s what you hated the most. You opened and closed your mouth, unsure of what to say when his attention was drawn elsewhere. You heard the door open, and you turned to Rafe, blinking at the cut on his cheek and bruising on his forehead.

“See?”

You turned around, watching as JJ gestured to Rafe, looking between him and your friends. Sarah’s expression was the only one you could focus on, the disappointment and anger in her eyes evident as she glared at her brother.

“JJ-.”

“What is wrong with you?” he interrupted, gaze focused on Rafe. “Aside from the obvious-.”

“JJ!”

He wasn’t paying you any attention, all of it reserved for your boyfriend. You both heard and felt Rafe come closer, his chest grazing your back.

“This isn’t any of your business,” Rafe quietly told him, his hand on your arm.

“You put my best friend in the hospital, and I’m not allowed to say anything?”

“JJ, please…”

John B. and Pope were near him now, worriedly looking between him and Rafe.

“Look at you,” he snapped, his gaze meeting yours now. “When Topper called Sarah, he said you could barely walk.”

You blinked, unaware that Topper had called Sarah too.

“Why are you defending him? Is it the concussion? Is that it?”

You blanched, pressing yourself against Rafe as he attempted to move closer.

“Do not talk to her like that,” your boyfriend threatened, tone icy.

“As opposed to what? Driving her into a tree?”

Rafe was silent when JJ looked at him, and you exhaled.

“JJ, it was an accident,” you reiterated.

“He could’ve killed you.”

He wasn’t looking at you as he said this, but at Rafe, and you glanced over your shoulder when he didn’t say anything. Rafe’s jaw was clenched, eyes softening some at JJ’s words. Your heart sank because you could tell that they got to him, Rafe unable to say anything back…because it was true. And he agreed. You watched him swallow, tearfully looking away before gently rubbing your back.

“I’ll be inside,” he quietly told you.

You stared after him, fighting back tears before facing JJ again.

“You don’t think he feels bad enough?”

“He should,” JJ sneered. “You could’ve died! Do you get that?”

“Yes, I do!” you screamed, and Sarah was beside you now, pulling you back some. “…but you’re acting like he did this on purpose. He didn’t mean to.”

JJ stared at you for what felt like too long, an expression you couldn’t place taking over his features.

“You know who you sound like?” he finally asked, voice low. “Me.”

“JJ,” John B. warned, and you frowned in confusion.

Your brows knitted together, unsure of what he meant as he just…looked at you.

“You sound just like me…making excuse after excuse…when I show up on your doorstep…”

Your eyes widened, understanding washing over you, and JJ’s head snapped to the side when you struck him. Sarah was pulling you back, and you were so in shock that she did it with ease. Your hand stung, and your mouth fell open as you stared at the blond. Kie looked just as shocked as you felt as Pope held JJ back.

“Rafe is nothing like your dad,” you slowly sneered. “If you even knew…”

You trailed off, taking a deep breath and swallowing. Your chest hurt so much, disgusted that JJ would even think such a thing.

“You wouldn’t even make that comparison.”

“…and yet here we are, fighting because I dared to point out that your boyfriend did a shitty thing…and almost killed you in the process.”

You blinked, more tears falling as JJ shrugged at you. John B. urged him away, begging him to ‘come on’. Kie and Pope threw you apologetic looks, and you barely registered the sound of Sarah’s voice as she pulled you inside. You couldn’t stop crying, no matter how much you tried, and she gave you a paper towel once you got inside.

She rubbed your back, staring at you as you repeatedly wiped your face.

“Sarah,” you choked out. “I’m not…I’m not stupid…am I?”

You looked at her, and she frowned at you.

“No, of course not,” she said with a shake of her head.

“It was an accident…”

Her face fell at that, lips pressing together. She took a deep breath, glancing away.

“Yeah…it-it was…”

You eyed her, carefully watching her expression.

“…but…?”

She held your gaze, her own expression very serious.

“Rafe could’ve killed you.”

Your lips trembled again at that, and you looked away.

“I’m sorry, but I’m on JJ’s side with this one,” she admitted, making more tears fall. “No, I don’t agree with him comparing Rafe to his dad. That… He shouldn’t have done that, but Rafe got high…he let you get into his truck…and he almost killed you both.”

You swallowed.

“That’s not good,” she whispered. “…and I know it was an accident. I know that, because Rafe would never go out of his way to hurt you, but…”

She gave a humorless chuckle.

“That doesn’t make it better.”

You stumbled back, falling onto the couch and pressing your hands to your eyes.

“He didn’t mean to,” you repeated, shaking your head.

You felt Sarah sit down beside you, rubbing your back and arms.

“I know,” she sighed. “I know.”

You rested your head on her shoulder, squeezing your eyes shut as she held you.

When you got out of Rafe’s shower, he was nowhere to be found. You had stolen one of his shirts, skin still damp as you peeked into the hall for any sign of him. You didn’t see him, but you did hear his voice coming from downstairs. It was only when you made it to the stairs that you realized he wasn’t alone.

Sarah’s voice was clear.

“You know, I rarely agree with JJ on anything…”

You sat down on a step, defeated as you realized what they were talking about.

“…but he was right…and you know it.”

“I don’t need shit from you, okay?” Rafe drawled.

They were in the kitchen, out of sight, but their voices made it sound like they were right next to you.

“You could’ve killed her.”

You looked down at Sarah’s words, swallowing as your gaze focused on your feet.

“…and I know that you’ve been hearing that all night, but you’re going to hear it a few more times.”

Sarah’s voice was thick, choked up with emotion, and you felt tears kiss your eyes.

“When I gave her my blessing to date you, I did it because I trusted you with her,” she harshly whispered. “…I thought you’d be different…better.”

“I am!”

“You’re still doing the same shit you always do, Rafe! Only this time, you’re taking her with you,” Sarah argued. “You wanna snort coke until your whole nose is gone? Fine. You want to drink yourself into an early grave? Whatever, but leave her out of it.”

You brought your knees to your chest.

“I saw the truck. I went with dad when he had it collected,” she whispered. “You both were extremely lucky.”

You heard Rafe sniff, and you fought the urge to go in there and wrap your arms around him.

“I fucked up. I know that, okay?” Rafe mumbled. “You don’t think I knew that when I had to basically pull her out of my truck? When she kept falling? When I didn’t want her to close her eyes because I didn’t know if she’d open them again?”

You slowly stood, feeling like you shouldn’t be listening to this.

“I’m going to do better,” he shakily whispered to Sarah. “I promise, I am.”

“You better,” Sarah bit out. “…because if anything happens to my best friend, JJ will be the least of your problems.”

“Trust me, JJ doesn’t need a reason to start fights with me…”

“…and yet you just gave him the perfect reason,” Sarah scoffed. “He’s never going to let this go…”

Sarah’s words faded as you got up and went back to Rafe’s room.

She was right, they all were right, and you hated it. What Rafe had done was serious, you knew that, and you knew that no matter how many times you repeated that it was an accident, it wouldn’t change anything. Rafe hadn’t gotten high just to get high, and you wished they could understand the effect Ward had on him.

It wasn’t an excuse, just a reason.

You still thought about the hurt and shock you’d felt when JJ compared Rafe to his dad. It wasn’t even remotely the same, and the memory made your chest clench painfully. Aside from that though, you knew that JJ had every right to be as angry as he was, and you hated more than anything that he had another reason to hate Rafe.

When Rafe came back to his room, he found you sitting cross-legged on his bed. You perked up at the sight of him, smiling, and he weakly returned it. He swallowed when you held your hand out, and reluctantly, he took it, allowing you to pull him closer.

“You didn’t mean to…”

Rafe gave a bitter laugh.

“That’s what scares me.”

You frowned, taking a deep breath.

“Things happen, Rafe…and it was an accident.”

“An accident that almost killed you.”

You pulled him down beside you, brushing your lips against the corner of his mouth. You wrapped yourself around him, holding him close.

“Rafe…please, please, please don’t beat yourself up over this…please,” you choked out.

There were tears in your eyes when he refused to look at you, dirty blond strands hanging into his face.

“I’m not good enough for you.”

His voice was barely a whisper, and you took his chin, forcing him to meet your gaze. You hated the troubled look in his eyes.

“That’s not for you to decide.”

He didn’t respond to that, only nodding in defeat, not putting up a fight when you pulled him to lay down with you. When you kissed him, he seemed hesitant to kiss you back, your hands on his as you guided them over your skin. At some point, he didn’t need your help, fully being hit with the knowledge that things could’ve gone so wrong. Rafe was afraid to let you go, and even after you came around him for the third time, he still refused to let you go.

[distraughtlesbian]

can i speak my truth ? can i keep it real ? there shouldve been more in-party conflict in blades 2. like obviously mc should’ve gotten to cuss mal out in particular when he was like You Dont Know What We’ve Been Thru as if getting kidnapped and forced into a magically induced coma and getting your blood stolen and having constant benadryl nightmares is a walk in the park lmfao, and also just gotten to talk more about what they went through and how it’s impacted them

but also there should’ve been way more beef between the other party members. like girl if i’m nia and i’m spiralling scorning sleep and food constantly hunting for a way to free MY GIRLFRIEND (!!) from the clutches of some goth elf cunt on top of making the fantasy catholic church christlike again and repressing my inner shadow demon and one of my friends is like “hesdeadjim.png give up also fuck you” and then fucked off to be an alcoholic pit fighter, i wouldve actually just thrown hands when we saw each other next. no magic no nothing just me and my nasty little fingers (covered in paper cuts from all the arcane shadow tomes ive been reading) coming straight for her eye sockets. staff of silverlake should’ve been nia’s weapon and she should’ve leapt into the pit in chapter 4 and clocked imtura in the skull with it.

like you bitches should be CRAZY!!!! you should all have DISORDERS!!!! you should be begging ravens perched on busts for RESPITE AND NEPENTHE from your memories of me !!!!!! the moon should never beam without bringing you dreams of ME and the stars never rise but you feel MY bright eyes. tyril should be half-mad with grief and stress he should be mumbling to himself and seeing mc’s silhouette in dark corners. nia should be clearly and obviously off her fucking rocker and constantly on the verge of self destructing and taking us all out with her. imtura should be constantly blind drunk so she doesn’t have to feel her grief or anything at all really. mal should have been in the wind the second it started looking like mc wasn’t coming back and nobody’s heard from him in months. kade should be in a bottomless pit of grief bc when he was stuck in the shadow realm we never gave up hope and we went to rescue him but now that the tables are turned he’s slowly losing hope and day by day and night by night we recede and he becomes more faithless. threep and loola should be inseparable sleeping in a pile together never beyond a wing-length from one another and keeping obsessive tabs on all the other party members no matter how far-flung across morella they are because they’ve already lost everyone and everything they knew to the shadow court once and they’ll be damned if they lose anything else. also kade and aerin should’ve built up a weird semihostile rapport bc once everything fell apart and everyone went their separate ways it was just the two of them in the whitetower palace and kade would go to his cell and sit out of arm’s reach to vent about his time in the shadow realm and his grief and hopes and fears. they both knew and loved mc, in their own ways, despite how aerin hurt them, and now they’ve both lost them, maybe for good. maybe one day aerin starts talking back

where is the SPICE where is the FLAVOUR? where’s the DRAMA where’s the OOMPH where’s the PANACHE? you cannot look at me and tell me these dysfunctional bitches wouldn’t fall back into their worst habits once the one person who held them all together up and vanished into the void. why am i not ending each chapter feeling like i’ve just gotten punched in the dick bc the love is so obviously still there and that’s why it hurts so bad. they should’ve put their whole budget and pussies into forcing the party to fit themselves back together even though they’ve all grown new sharp edges and keep cutting each other up. they should’ve gone full dark no stars about it. grief is an amputation but hope is incurable hemophilia you bleed and bleed and bleed, plants that are split down the middle dont heal they die, you are a language i am no longer fluent in but still remember how to read, what lived and died between us haunts me still, if someone asked me at the end i’d tell them “put me back in it”, i care what ghosts think of me, come back even as a shadow even as a dream, someone has to leave first this is a very old story there is no other ending to this story, etc, etc, you get it you understand. also the mc should’ve come back WRONG.

[iisasarcasticlittleshite]

Levi, who came into a relationship with absolutely no clue what to do with his wish for intimacy.

All he knew when he said yes to being your partner was that he trusted you, enjoyed sharing space with you, hell, he’d bend over backwards to see you smile.

His upbringing didn’t permit him much in the way of emotional availability, so you are one of the first people he’s had to figure out how to open up too, and dear God he found it so hard at first.

‘Hey, are you okay? I heard that meeting didn’t go too well.’

‘I’m fine.’ He replies as if by reflex, eager to ignore any and all need to be frank with himself, and you.

But you…damn if you aren’t the best thing on this Earth, because you take that dismissal, that “I’m fine”, and you look for what’s behind it, you look for the set of his jaw, the slouch in his shoulders, and without hesitation, you leave him in the living room and make him a perfect cup of tea, exactly how he likes it.

You don’t push, you don’t ask again, you just sit down on that couch beside him and open your book, happily sipping your own hot beverage and just…being there.

All the world’s bullshit fell off his shoulders, and suddenly he can’t be close enough to you.

You’re patient as he figures out when to hug you, when to kiss you and where, patient as he learns that his favourite thing to do is stand behind you while you’re cooking, cheek resting on your shoulder as you hum to yourself.

He started noticing little things more and more. When he agreed to date you, he thought he already knew every habit and quirk you had, but he couldn’t have imagined how damn attracted he is to you at the most random times.

When he stays over at your house and you roll up your sleeves and help him clean because it makes him feel better if he does it; when you dance about the kitchen to your music as you put your groceries away, just filling your own space and happily in your own head…he could have kissed you senseless right then and there.

He held back that need, the need to touch, to hold, to feel for all of three months before it came bursting out like a damn.

You knew, knew the moment he kissed you after work that something was different. His kiss was urgent, almost pleading, his fingers digging into your hips, tugging you close, pressing himself against you as if even a breath of air was too far.

You showed him what true pleasure is, showed him how it feels to be kissed, loved, by someone he trusts more than anything, and within the four walls of the bedroom he learned to focus on you and only you.

From then on, being with you became as easy as breathing. You two moved in together within less than a year of being together, and he didn’t care that he now shares space with another human constantly.

Every quirk and habit of yours is now an extension of you and he just can’t be annoyed.

Not by you curling over him in your sleep. Not by you making shapes with your hair on the shower wall and forgetting to clean it up.

He smiles, in his own way, every time there’s a trace of you in his life, and chases that feeling by making sure you’re in as much of his life as possible.

I got it off my chest, I feel better now.

[justmeinadaze]

A Toxic Lesson Part 2 (Kurt X Y/N)

A/N: After promising it forever, I finally bare you a part 2. I saw an interview the other day where Joe said he had like a tub of oily hair product they kept to make his hair look the way it does in the film lol Still a sexy boy with dem big hands <3.

Warnings: Kurt is a toxic boy! This relationship is definitely not a healthy one! He gaslights her constantly and through out the two stories her mind slowly slips from ration to irrational. If this triggers you I INSIST YOU DO NOT READ!

SMUT, he is a bit rough with some dominate, strongly possessive behavior, dirty talk, ANGST, all of it. The murders in the film are glossed over till we get to the one in this story. Like the first story I changed some of the dialogue because...I mean you get it...his passenger is a sexist douchebag lol, his death is briefly described but not lingered on. Another death is described in a bit more detail but not too much (if you've seen the film you know; those bottom pics in the picture above is a hint).

Again, Kurt is NOT a good boy. He does get a bit rough with the reader, shoving her against a wall when she mentions something he doesn't like, she talks about her feelings (feeling like this is her fault somehow, wondering if there was more she could have done, etc), Kurts toxic upbringing is mentioned briefly. I think that's everything but alas... if you watched the movie and read my last story you should know what your walking into!

Word Count: 4141

Part 1

You remained silent for the next couple of rides Kurt picked up but your eyes were always scanning him over. What happened? How did he get to this point? Was it something you missed or could have prevented? He had always had a rough childhood with his parent’s divorce and his dad’s drug habit. He felt that strong need to take care of his mother but she always felt so absent. Most of the time Kurt was alone…which was part of the reason you assumed he needed to have so many followers. He needed to be seen, to be loved. 

Maybe my love wasn’t enough…I could have given him more; supported him harder. I should have found a way to give him what he needed. 

As the car stopped at a red light, he turned to glance at you noticing your glazed over look. His soft hand reached out to lightly grip your chin forcing you to make eye contact with him and when his thumb caressed your cheek, a pleasant sigh left your lips. 

“I love you, Kurt.”

His smile melts your heart before the Spree app dings for his next passenger reminding you both of what he was doing. The next person he picked up was a complete douchebag. Any time Kurt tried to say something kind, the man cut him off saying he had somewhere he needed to be and that he needed to “shut the fuck up.”

“HEY! There’s no reason for you to be an asshole! Either be nice or YOU shut the fuck up.”

“Ugh. Control your fucking woman, dude.”

“Hey, alright, come on now. We show women respect.”

“I’ll show her some fucking respect…”, the man grumbled under his breath. 

Your eyes rolled as he continued to complain, even more so when Kurt accepted the call to pick up another passenger. As soon as she got in the car, you liked her. She put the asshole in his place and your boyfriend seemed really interested in her when it came to her career. While the man kept trying to hit on her, Kurt asked her questions and you watched as his whole demeanor changed converting back to that goofy kid you fell in love with. 

“Um, sir, are you a twitter bot or is there a real live human boy in there?”

Kurt blinked as he nervously laughed. “I’m as real as you. I don’t…”

Your jaw clenched as you held in the urge to snap at her. She didn’t know him like you did or what he had been through. In this moment, he was genuinely being kind to her and she was mocking him. What was worse was he also genuinely didn’t seem to get that she was. 

“…you becoming Insta famous has made you a total bitch.”

Kurt slammed on the breaks causing everyone to fly forward as he turned to face the other man. 

“Out!”

You listened to everyone argue before the woman got out of the car and splashed the man with water from her bottle and tossing it at his rear window. Gasping as some of the water hit you, Kurt immediately turned to you, his large palm cupping your cheek as he wiped the liquid away from your lips. 

“Just drive, asshole!”

Kurt’s eyes shifted like it had with the others but instead of panicking, you tilted forward crashing your lips to his. 

“Jesus fucking Christ! Unless this is going to be a three way, can we get a move on so I can fuck my own girl!”

Heavily sighing, Kurt pulled away from you but held your hand as he began to drive again. As he headed for another secluded area, he managed to get the man out of his vehicle as the rider proclaimed obnoxiously that he needed to go to the bathroom. When he turned towards you with that slanted, cocky smile, you knew. 

“Won’t it ruin the car?”

Your boyfriend’s grin grew as he shook his hair away from his eyes and turned his whole body so he could see behind him as he reversed. The thud made you jump as the man rolled over the top and down over the hood. Kurt tilted his head as he watched the body slide off the windshield and onto the dirt.

This time he was surprised when he felt your small hand graze the bulge in his sweatpants. Kurt’s murder filled eyes met your lust filled ones before you lean over to passionately kiss him. His mouth hums against yours as you move your palm faster against him and he rapidly reaches for the waistband of his pants to shove them down just enough to free his cock.

“Wait. Shit. I almost forgot.” As he begins reaching for his phone to turn off the cameras, you grab his wrist. 

“You…you can leave them on if you want to.”

His long, fingers snaked behind your head as his lips trailed up your jawline to the shell of your ear that was furthest from the cameras in front of you. 

“You’re mine, Y/N. No one can see or have your body except me. If I wanted to fuck you in front of these people I would have done it already.”

“O-okay. I’m sorry if I upset you, baby.”

The fingers Kurt had tangled in your hair abruptly tugged you back, forcing you to look up at him. 

“How many times do I have to tell you that you don’t have to be afraid of me? Hm?”

“I-I-I’m not afraid of you. Not anymore. I just don’t want you to be upset or unhappy.”

Kurt’s eyes soften as he leans forward to kiss your forehead before pressing buttons on his phone to turn off all the cameras.

“As long as I’m with you, baby, I’m happy. I love you so much.” Hearing him say that had a giddy feeling course through your veins. Without looking away, you lick your palm, and he moans as you stroke his length.

Roughly, he unbuttons your jeans and shoves two of his fingers into your mouth making you gag. 

“That’s it, pretty girl. Choke on my fingers. Get them nice and wet.”

Removing them with a desperate pop from your lips, his massively large palm slid under the waistband of your underwear making you groan as he thrust his digits inside of you.

Your forehead fell onto his shoulder and that safe feeling washed over you as you inhaled his scent reminding you of nights he held you when he spent the night talking about the future. Those nights when he would tell you all the things he was going to buy you when he became famous, not realizing that as long as you were with him you had everything you wanted. 

Hearing him grunt in your ear, you pumped your hand faster around him as his free hand clung to the back of your neck holding you tighter to him. 

“Y-yes, Y/N. Don’t stop. I’m gonna cum.”

Kurt tugged your hair so his lips could find yours till he let go and came in your hand. His own rhythm slowed only for a moment before he pumped his fingers hastily as he kissed your cheek. You clung to him as you panted and the coil snapped. 

“Good…good girl, baby. Are you ok?” You nod as you lean back and try to catch your breath. “Come on. I need to get gas and I can get you something to drink.”

#############

You leaned blissfully against his shoulder as he scrolled through his phone to look up the young lady he previously had in his car pausing for a moment to light up the interior with a big grin that had you smiling as well. 

“She’s got good content.”

“Yeah, I just don’t like the way she talked to you.”

“Aw.”, he coos as he kisses your nose, beaming when your smile grows. “It’s just how influencers talk to each other, honey. It’s ok. She has a show tonight…too bad we can’t go.”

You hold his hand the rest of the way until you stop at a gas station and get out with him to stretch your legs. Hearing him mutter under his breath, you assumed he was talking to the camera which wasn’t abnormal for him until you heard him raise his voice. 

“Yeah, Bobby! That’s because people know we’re on a break right now!”

You chose to remain silent since the last time you brought up his relationship with Bobby he got exceptionally angry. It killed you, though, as he paused to look at his phone and his face fell. He shouted at the screen making you jump before you both finally noticed the cop on the other side getting gas as well. 

As he continued to talk, you scanned the car, and froze when you noticed blood on the front bumper. Kurt followed your eyeline and as nonchalantly as possible leaned against his hood, pulling your sleeve so you could lean against his chest. You held him tightly as your thoughts spiraled into everything that could go wrong if this cop decided to dig further. Your boyfriend felt your fear and ran his palm along your back as he tried to comfort you.

“Seriously, Y/N, leave this loser.”, the little computer voice mocked from his phone. 

“Fuck. Off. Bobby!”, you growled. 

“Leave her alone. She’s been through a lot today.”

As the cop went about his business, Kurt kissed your cheek as they continued their back and forth and you cleaned the front of his car.  

Opening his trunk, he pulled out one of his earlier victims open house signs and tossed them in the trash. 

“What about your promise to me, Bobby! I haven’t seen anything from you! Get in the car, Y/N.”

You do as he commands watching with sympathetic eyes as he slams his trunk and climbs back in beside you. 

“Is-Is he still going to help, Kurt?”

Furiously, he slams his hands against the steering as he sighs in frustration. 

“I’m giving it my all here, goddamn it! Why can’t I get ahead!?”

Carefully, you reach out to brush some of the hair under the Kurt’s World Hat he put on behind his ear. 

“You always give 100%, baby. It’s going to get better. THINGS will get better.”

His wild eyes meet yours before he softly smiles and playfully puts one of his hats on your head. 

“I’m so glad you’re here with me, sweetheart. I don’t think I could have done this alone.”

***

Your mood drastically changed after his last ride/kill and you were angry. First, Kurt insisted you sit in the back with these pretentious people while their friend sat beside him and continuously touched some part of his body like his arm or even his face. Then he drove like a maniac through the streets until heading for his next destination where not only did these two people die violently next you but you watched him kill someone with his own hands like it was nothing.

Of course, who’s the first person he calls afterwards?

“I just got the most epic kill! It was a triple KO! Bobby!”

And of course, Bobby wasn’t amused as he belittled him and everything Kurt was doing. Your boyfriend angrily grabbed his wet wipes from the console and you push back as far from him as you could as he reached over to clean the extra blood off the door beside you. As the phone disconnected and he exited the carwash he finally focused his attention on you. 

“What’s got you so fucking pissed off?” Ignoring him you continue to glare out the window. “Go ahead, Y/N. Out with it! Is it how my friends fucking suck? Or maybe something wrong with my content? Please! Tell me! May as well kick me while I’m fucking down.”

You wanted to scream at him, smack him, or anything else you could think of to hurt him as much as you were hurting but you knew none of that would get through. Rolling down your window, you took off your Kurt’s world hat and tossed it out into the street.

“Hey! Are you fucking kidding me?! What the fuck!?”

“Fuck. You! After everything I’ve done for you and you disrespect me like that!?”

“Like what?!”

“Now this is entertaining.”, the female voice on his phone pings. 

“SHUT UP, BOBBY!”, you both shout in unison.

At a stop light, you got out of the car and power walked up the street to get away from him.  His tires skidded as he parked and ran out to follow you.

“Come on, Y/N. Stop. Talk to me.”, he begged as he tried to block your path with his body. 

“You let that bitch touch you!”, you shouted as you pushed his chest. “’Oh my god. Don’t listen to them. I think you’re a badass.’” Kurt rolls his eyes as you mock the woman’s voice. “Don’t roll your eyes at me! How would you feel if someone was flirting with me and touching my body or face?! You wouldn’t like it would you?!”

“Y/N, I didn’t even notice! All I care about is the fucking lesson!”

“Wow! What a surprise! You only care about your fucking channel and not my feelings! You’re just like your fucking dad!”

He moved in a blur, his eyes darkening as he pushed you against the building behind you. 

“I am nothing like that deadbeat.”, he growled.

“All you father cares about are his fucking records and never gave a damn about you or your mom.” You shove him again and he lets you go. “I didn’t like seeing her touch you but more than anything it hurt me that you didn’t tell her to fuck off. Also…” You hugged your arms around your body. “It scared me a little watching you kill her…like that.”

Kurt sighs as your head hangs and he watches you cry. “Come here, baby.”, he coos as he wraps his arms around you. “I’m so sorry I made you feel like I don’t care about you or your feelings. I seriously didn’t notice she was flirting. Y/N, it took me years to even realize that you had a crush on me.” He smirked when he felt you lightly giggle against him. Tugging you back, his palms gently cup your face. “I would never hurt you like that either. YOU have always supported me. YOU have always been there for me. YOU are my number one fan. I don’t want anyone else and I didn’t mean to scare you. Bobby said to add ‘WTF moments’.”, he shrugged.

“Kurt…you said you care about my feelings…please hear me when I tell you that he doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t want to help you. I’m so tired of watching you hurt because he’s not following through with promises he made you.”

Intertwining his fingers with yours, he led you back to the car and began driving again. You noticed he didn’t turn his Spree app back on as he began heading to what seemed like no apparent destination as he scrolled through that young lady’s Instagram again. You were so focused on him and listening to him mumble that you didn’t realize where you were until he parked again.

“I hope you’re watching this, Bobby.”

***

Bobby was extremely annoyed when he opened his front door and saw you both on his front porch. Kurt said they needed to talk but the other boy kept brushing him off. As he tried to slam the door on you two, your boyfriend blocked it with his foot. 

“Just remember you asked for this. Sorry, Y/N.”

Bobby tapped his camera and suddenly began streaming making you fume. What made you even more angry was the insults he hurled in Kurt’s direction as he began to sway, trying to seem like he wasn’t hurt by what the boy was saying. Sure, Bobby was a kid but he was old enough to know that what he was saying was rude and selfish. Kurt watched him grow up and was there for him for most of his life. Who did this little shit think he was?

You listen as Kurt announced his plans for the lesson but as Bobby mocked him again, he become incredibly quiet, flashing you an almost sad smirk as he reached into his pocket, and produced a knife. 

The man you fell in love, who was your first everything, and was the reason for your happiness through most of your life charged forward stabbing the person he once called his friend in the stomach. You listened to them wrestle before gun shots suddenly rang out and you ducked down on your knees as you covered your ears. 

Everything became silent and you jumped when you felt hands grab your arms. 

“Are you ok? He didn’t hurt you, did he?” You shook your head as your hands ran over your body to double check. As he kissed your forehead, he showed you the screen on his phone. “Look, honey. We’re in the double digits now.”

***

“Look, baby, oh my god. Triple digits! Hi. Hello, everyone.”

Even though Kurt had made a big deal earlier today about people seeing your body, he still began streaming with you both naked in the shower. He did keep the camera up high enough not to show anything and made sure you were pressed against his chest with his arm protectively around you to make sure you didn’t move in a direction that would expose your breasts. Like a child, you clung to him, completely terrified of everything that just happened. A normal human being would be scared that the person they were in love with just murdered someone but you were too far gone into the moment. You were more concerned that he almost got shot than anything else.

“Guys, no!”, he chuckles. “I didn’t kidnap her…you’re so funny. No, this my girlfriend. We’ve been best friends since like kindergarten and together for over 10 years! 10 years! Can you believe that?! She’s been my number one fan since day one of Kurt’s World and she’s always supported me. I love her so much.”

His eyes look down to meet your big doe ones as you stare up at him as if he hung the moon. Kurt was acknowledging you and finally admitting how much of part you played in him starting his channel. You gave him the courage and support to follow his dreams and he was finally bestowing on you the recognition you felt you deserved. The adoration and loyalty he always seemed to have towards Bobby was now focused on you and your heart melted. 

“I love you, baby.”, he cooed, sloppily kissing your lips before turning to address the camera again. Your mouth attached to his body, tracing up his chest till you reached his neck up to the outer shell of his ear. 

“I need you to fuck me, Kurt. Please.”, you whispered. 

You heard his confident voice faulter for a moment and after wrapping up what he was saying to his new viewers, turned off the stream, and tossed his phone on the floor outside of the shower door. 

His now free palm held the back of your head as he kissed your lips passionately while you clung to his neck. 

“I love you, Kurt. I was so scared that he was going to shoot you.”

“Aw, honey. Nothing is going to kill me tonight. Tonight, I’m invincible and so are you. I would never let anyone hurt you.” Turning you around, he placed your back to his chest as his hands roamed your body. While one skated over your tits, the other found its way between your legs. “Fuck…so fucking beautiful. I love that you’re mine.”

Kurt’s fingers pressed against your clit and you moaned loudly as your own palm looped between you both so you could stroke his cock.

“I’m sorry for not listening to you, baby… about Bobby.” You shook your head, not wanting to even hear his name anymore especially after he slid two of his fingers inside of your core. “You were right. You’re always right.”

“K-Kurt, I need you inside of me. Please!”

Grunting, he roughly turned you around and lifted you in his arms as he carried you to his former friend’s gigantic bed. He fell on top of you but you hastily turned him onto his back as you straddle his waist and guided his length inside of you.

“Fuck me.”

Your palms steadied yourself against his chest as you bounced on top of him, groaning as his mushroom tip constantly grazed that spot that had your eyes rolling. Memories flashed through your brain of you two growing up and everything you both had experienced together. You never could have anticipated that your relationship would have led you here but now that you were you couldn’t let him go. He needed you. Right?

“Kurt? I love you.”

“I-I love you to, baby. Fuck, you feel so fucking good.”

“You…you need me right?”

His strong hands took hold of your hips forcing you to stop moving as your eyes met his. Wrapping one arm around you, he held you close to him as he pushed up onto his knees and adjusted your legs so they’d be more comfortable. 

Your boyfriend’s lips tenderly kissed your own as he gripped your behind and maneuvered you till you grinding against him again. 

“I do need you, Y/N. I always needed you. Where would I—mmm—where would I be without you?”

“P-Promise me, you…you won’t get hurt tonight. Please.”, you whimpered as your palms clung to his neck. “Please, I don’t know…what I’d do without you, baby.”

“I promise. You and I are both safe. Anyone even thinks about fucking hurting you…”, he growls as his eyes shut and press his forehead to your chest. 

“Tell me, Kurt. What will happen?”

Abruptly flipping you on to your back, your head hangs over the edge as his mouth attaches to your neck making you moan loudly as his tongue licks your skin. 

“I’ll tear them apart. I’ll make them wish they were never born.”

Kurt’s hips slam violently into your own, pushing him so deep inside of you that you swear you feel him pushing into your tummy. His thick hand wraps around your throat, squeezing lightly as his face hovers just above yours while he continues to whisper. 

“You’re mine, Y/N. All mine. If anyone tried to hurt you or take you away from me I’ll make them regret it. They’ll beg and plead but—fuck—nothing they say will be enough because you’re my angel. I-I know that look. Cum on my cock, baby.”

Your nails drag down his skin as you scream his name. Slowing his pace, he pounds into you hard until he feels you tighten around him as you cum. 

“Good girl. My good girl. You always look so pretty like this. What are you doing with me, sweetheart?”

You lazily stroke his cheek as you watch his mouth fall open while he chases his high.

“I love you, Kurt. You’re mine to. Please, fill me up. I want you to feel good to. You deserve it.”

His damp hair falls in front of your eyes as he groans and clings to your body as you feel him warm your insides. You both lay there quietly for a moment as you try to catch your breaths before he hears you giggle underneath him. 

“Honey, your hair is wet and sticking to my face.”

Your boyfriend lifts up on his elbows as he scans your features trying to get a read on where you are emotionally. 

“Oh, yeah? This hair?” You laugh as he shakes his head like a dog sprinkling water all over you as you try to push away from him. Kurt playfully wrestles with you till you both fall against the pillows and he pleasantly sighs as he pulls you to his chest. “I’m going to buy you a house like this one day. We’ll fill it with cooler stuff than this and after we get married, we’ll have a ton of kids and we’ll raise them to be nice not assholes like Bobby…”

As he continued to talk about your futures, you watch him with wide ecstatic eyes. Usually, you were the one talking about things like this while he constantly brought up his channel or becoming famous. Your heart soared at the mention of marriage and kids but as your fingers ran delicately over his skin, you had to suffocate that little voice in the back of your head that kept screaming tonight would end with you two being in a cell or dead.

[kimakento]

fool in love

synopsis: as you tried your hardest to get over byun euijoo and his bad habit of drinking, you realised that he will never get over you. ⌙ 0.8k

pairing(s): ex!byun euijoo x fem!reader

genre(s): angst

warning(s): swearing, drinking problems/alcoholism, infidelity, mentions of cheating.

tags: ex!euijoo, previous established relationship, persistent euijoo, non idol!au

author’s note: i wrote this so quick wtf, i hope ej lunès enjoyyy!! disclaimer: this is not an in real life depiction of euijoo.

this is the part two to intoxicated

since your meet-up with jo, you’d been visibly getting better; you had stopped yourself from listening any of euijoo’s voicemails or reading any of his messages. to be honest, this was the best you’d ever been. in a long while.

but still, you tossed and turned at night; still worrisome over the situation. with a big sigh, you turned on the night light. it’s blinding rays caused you to blink uncontrollably. that was until you heard a knock on the door, paired along with a buzz from your phone, notifying you of a message. reaching out to your phone across on the dresser, you saw who sent a message.

it was byun euijoo.

your steps felt heavy as you stripped yourself of the warm embrace of your duvet and left your bed. another knock echoed in your ears as you opened the peephole, noticing euijoo standing there himself.

his appearance was most peculiar, his hair was dishevelled, he seemed as if to be stumbling around and euijoo looked visibly disoriented.

“open up, please.” a murmur came from his pretty lips.

worried, and with trembling hands, you got to unlocking your doors. that was when his head fell on your shoulder. somehow, you managed to pull him in and lock the door. the smell of liquor deepened as he picked his head up and walked to your couch and took a seat.

“take me back, i’ll do anything. i just need you. i….,” euijoo’s eyes were partially bloodshot, as he gripped your couch; his knuckles turning a deep shade of white. “i miss you.”

as you balled your fists, you couldn’t stop the sadness turning into raw anger. tears threatened to fall and your chest tightened. that familiar lump in your throat refused to dissipate as you turned your head away from him, avoiding his hazed gaze.

“get out.” was all you could reply. you weren’t sure if you meant it or if it was just the heat of the moment. maybe it was a way of coping.

you didn’t know.

you raised your voice once again, “i can’t believe you’re drunk right now. byun euijoo, i hate you.”

‘i love you’ you wanted to instead blurt out.

confusion took to his facial expression as he pleaded against it, “you know i never meant it. i really thought she was you.”

euijoo took hesitant steps towards you, reaching out his arm to touch yours. he needed to feel your warmth, you were slipping through his fingers every second he didn’t.

a lone tear ran down your cheek and as you backed away from his touch like a scorching flame that blistered at a single touch. “no, no, no. you don’t get to do that, byun. i’ve had to deal with your drunk ass constantly, i can’t believe you would do something like that. and with my best friend too?”

the emotions seemed to pour all out as you continued.

“you’re never sober when with me, i’m so sick of it. you just don’t get me, we’re so different and it hurts. when i first met y—“ a sob wracked your body and interrupted your speech. “when i first met you, you were kind and friendly and—you know… just the man for me. and now; look at you. i can barely stand to myself.”

his glazed eyes weren’t looking at you, they seemed to be looking through you. it was always like that, though. same thing each time, but just in another situation.

byun euijoo was drunk, again. just like he always was.

“we’re done, euijoo. didn’t you hear me the first time?” you held an accusatorial tone in your voice. “i never want to see you ever again.”

this time, he spoke clearly. “i’m so fucking sorry, i’m so sorry. this is all my fault.”

as much as you were mad at euijoo, you hated how his voice broke right then. yearning and longing consumed your heart, making it impossible for you to tear your watchful gaze away from the man.

the man you thought he was had disappeared, leaving a worser version in it’s wake.

his gaze met yours, and you interjected.

“i’m glad you finally know it’s all your fault. shit, i can’t do this right now. you’re shit-faced.” you stated again. “not once have we had a genuine conversation without you being drunk.”

with hitched breath, you placed two fingers on your nose bridge.

the silence was killing you inside; you just wanted to scream, to cry, to rage — to do anything. your emotions swirled like a hurricane inside as you felt the pent-up frustration build up. it was overwhelming your mental and physical being.

euijoo’s pleas went unheard but still listened to, “let me prove myself, huh?” his hands found yours, resonating with your warmth. he ran his finger over your knuckles, rubbing them as a way to assure you. “you know i love you so fucking much. everything i do is for you. i can’t live without you.”

yet, his hands were cold. very much unlike the searing love you had for him. you still envisioned the man euijoo could be, not the man he was. hesitantly, with his arms spread; signalling he wanted you in his embrace.

maybe it was that you missed him, or that a part of you still loved him.

because like the complete and utter fool in love you were, you accepted his shallow welcome.

likes and reblogs are appreciated!

[clumsiestgiantess]

Survivors — people barely a foot tall who were forced to take refuge in our world — have become a normal part of society. Unfortunately.. it’s not in the way they were hoping.

(original story here)

There’s no way I lost my 90 dollar ball.  Are you kidding me?!  I spent months saving up for that thing; how could I lose it?  I’d torn up my bedroom in search of my prized possession: a professional-grade soccer ball.  It had come with me to every practice session since the day I bought it.  I stormed out of my room, heading towards the garage.  Maybe I’d left it with my gear.  

“Woah!  Where are you headed so grouchily?”  My older sister asked snidely as I stormed past her in the hall.  “You wouldn’t care,” I huffed.  She shrugged offhandedly, “That’s probably true.”  Digging out all of my equipment — even my old stuff that I knew couldn’t possibly have my ball in it — I still couldn’t find it.  Ohh wait…  One of my friends had shown up halfway through practicing at a nearby park.  He’d dragged me away to a local store because one of our favorite games was on sale.  Dang it, I left it there, didn’t I?

“If Mom gets home early, tell her I’m at the park!” I yelled through the doorway.  “Why are you going to the-?”  The door fell closed on my sister’s voice and I rushed to my bike.  The park wasn’t too far from my house; I could be there in 15 minutes if I hurried.  

“Hold it.”  Julie stopped me as I wheeled it to the garage door. “Mom told me to keep an eye on you today.  Where are you going again?”  “The park,” I responded innocently.  “For?”  “I think I left my soccer ball there.”  “Oh?  The survivors have probably taken it by now.”  I sighed at her joke.  Ever since the little human-like creatures had stolen the phone right out of her purse while she was distracted — true story — she was constantly referencing it.  At first it was out of spite, then it became a habit.  “Come on, I’ll drive you.  It won’t be long, right?”  I shook my head, grateful for the lift.  

As I rode along with Julie, I begged the universe for things to work out in my favor.  Please let it still be there.  Don’t let someone take it.  By the time we reached the park entrance, my anxiety was calmed.  I could see the white spot of my ball towards the end of the field.  “Yes,” I cheered quietly as my sister pulled into a space.  “Alright, go get it,” my sister nodded.

I stepped out of the car and ran across the field in a half-jog-half-walk.  But I stopped as I got closer — staring in open-mouthed horror.  My ball was lopsided; punctured toothmark holes of a large dog pierced the sides.  “Are you kidding me?!  At least if somebody took it I wouldn’t have known they’d done this!”  Angrily, I ran up the last few feet and kicked the deflated ball as hard as I could.  It sailed across the field and hit the fence as a startled yelp reached my ears.  Below me, a survivor was hunched over on the ground, looking around in fearful confusion.  He gasped, scanning the sky above him intently.  

“Huh?  What are you-?  Oh.”  Following his gaze up to the sky, I watched a hawk or some other large bird circle around overhead.  “Are you hiding from that bird?”  The survivor glanced fearfully at me, then back up at the sky, whispering something I couldn’t understand.  “Right,” I sighed, “You have your own language.”  

The survivor was.. different than the ones I’d seen — maybe because they looked to be about my age, or maybe because they were actually alive and well rather than the few depressed half-dead ones I’d seen before.  Whatever the case, I didn’t feel like leaving them there to get picked off. 

I went to go collect my ball so the survivor would have cover again, but he yelped and rushed after me, cowering under my shadow.  His gaze finally tore away from the sky and landed on me.  Eyes wide, he asked me something I didn’t understand, but I could guess.  

I sighed, but nodded.  “Come on,” I gestured for him to follow me, and began walking back the way I’d come.  The survivor sprinted after me.  Halfway across the field, he wheezed something that vaguely sounded like he was asking me to stop.  Oh man, even when I’m walking I’m going too fast for him.  Poor guy.  I stopped and let the little guy catch up with me.  He sat down on the grass, out of breath.  However, that bird noticed we’d stopped moving.  I watched as it swooped down and landed on the telephone wires beside the field.

“Dnimreven!  M’i enif!  S’tel tsuj teg tuo fo ereh!” the survivor gasped, scrambling to his feet.  He walked on and I kept up with his pace, walking beside him at whatever speed he wanted.  It was slow going, but when we reached the parking lot, he stopped.  “I.. hhu.. t’ndid yllaer kniht siht raf daeha.”  Glancing around the lot, he looked over at the bird, then glanced up at me.  “What?” I asked, “It’s alright, I’ll follow you.  Just go back to the woods or something.”  I waved a hand at the woods, but he slowly shook his head.  “You.. no?  Don’t you live there?”  He just pointed at the bird and shook his head.  I squatted on the ground beside him.  Still he was shorter than me, but not by nearly as much as when I stood.

“Hey, it’s alright!  Just go hide in the woods for a while.  That bird will have to stop following you eventually.”  A car horn startled both of us just as the survivor was about to speak.  “Hey!” Julie called, “What are you doing?  I thought you said you’d be quick!  Stop pestering that little survivor and get in the car!”  “Alright!” I shouted annoyedly back, standing up again.  “I’m coming!  One second!”  I started walking to the trees nearby and the survivor raced after me.  When I got to the edge of the parking lot, I stopped and pointed towards the forest.  “Go on.  I’m sure some other survivors will come along and help you.”

But would they?  He gave me a solemn look and trudged towards the underbrush like I was exiling him.  The car horn startled him again and he ducked away into the foliage.  “Ok!  Ok!  I’m coming!”  The whole drive home I was, according to my sister, ‘unnaturally quiet’.  I blamed it on my popped ball — and normally that would make me angry — but I was just too caught up thinking about that survivor.  I tried to remember every time I’d ever seen one.  Surely one of them looked like they were doing ok, didn’t they?

Yet, as much as I wracked my brain, I couldn’t think of a time when I’d seen one happy.  They always looked scared.  At best they seemed kinda.. out of it.  At worst they were, well, dead.  I hope that survivor doesn’t end up like them.  He was my age.  Surely he’ll survive better than the older ones, right?  But there was that bird…  I was up the whole night coming up with a plan to sneak out of the house and return to the park.  I had to go find him again — to make sure he was safe.  

I’d never actually interacted with a survivor before.  It wasn’t at all what I expected.  My friends said they were little scavengers who liked to steal.  All the articles about them said they were a kind of mimic of us from a whole other mimic of our world.  But everyone made them sound like little animals.  The guy I met today — he seemed so familiar in a weird way.  He spoke to me, gestured for me to understand, and even his expressions were so human I could understand him just by reading them.  Then again.. maybe he was just a really good mimic.

During lunch the next day, I passively mentioned going to hang out with some friends at the soccer field, and was thankfully met with little opposition.  My mom reminded me to wear a helmet when I went out, but that was all.  I wrapped up half a grilled cheese I made for myself, tossed it into my bike basket, and pedaled off.  I think I beat my previous record of biking to the park by a few minutes, that’s how anxious I was.  I scanned the sky as I arrived.  No predatory birds in sight.  

Stepping over to the place where I left the survivor the other day, I made my way into the woods.  I searched the ground with every step until I came across a survivor laying on the ground.  A sickening feeling lurched in my stomach watching flies buzzing around them, landing on unmoving limbs.  Shit...  I’m too late.  I carefully stepped over to the body and knelt beside it.  I turned away after only a moment, but as I went to cover it with dirt, I realized their hair was much too long to be the survivor I saw before.  Holding my breath, I bent down to get a better look.

Firstly, their chest had been torn wide open, and their arms and legs picked clean down to the bone.  The position they were in looked painful, as if they’d been struggling.  I realized in my examination that the survivor was a female, and let out a relieved breath.  Whatever had caught it.. caught her — had eaten her.  Wait.  I shouldn’t be relieved by that!  What the hell am I thinking!?  I was just glad that it wasn’t my little friend who’d died, but I felt extremely guilty about thinking of this survivor’s death in that way.  She’d died likely being hunted — eaten.  Was she still conscious during all of it, or had the animal killed her by then?  I just hope I’m not too late to help the other survivor.

Gently taking a few handfuls of dirt, I covered the little corpse.  With a quick glance around myself, I spotted some wildflowers, picked one, and laid it carefully on the small mound.  “I would’ve helped you too,” I said softly, as if that were any consolation for how horribly they’d died.  No wonder the guy I’d met yesterday had given me such a desperate look when I sent him out here.  I was basically sentencing him to a horrific struggle for survival in a place where he wasn’t meant to live in.

Standing back up, I backed away from the little grave and headed in a different direction.  “Hello?” I called, “Survivor dude I met yesterday?  I’m sorry I don’t.. know your name.  And I’m really sorry I left you alone out here!  Please be alright...”  I walked through the forest along the outskirts of the soccer field, watching my every step and calling out once and a while.  I began giving up hope as I rounded the end of the field, but something stopped me before I could turn around: my popped soccer ball.  It wasn’t left where I’d kicked it earlier.  It was tucked beside a tree a little ways past the wooden fence that separated most of the park from the overgrown trees and whatnot that I’d been trekking through.

Heart pounding, I raced over to the ball and yanked it away from the tree.  A fearful yelp came from beneath it as the survivor from the day before huddled up against the side of the tree with his arms over his head.  “Hey!  Hey, it’s alright!  It’s me!  Remember me from yesterday?” I asked excitedly.  The little guy looked up at me with a bewildered expression before his face slowly fell into shock — recognizing me.  “Tahw?  S’tahw gniog no?  Tnaig edud, t’nod llet em er’uoy ereh rof ruoy llab niaga…”  I had no clue what he said, but I was too relieved to even listen.  He was alive — still using my ball for shelter.  “Oh, here!  I brought you something.”  Digging into my pocket, I pulled out the bag of my half a grilled cheese and took it out.  

“I wasn’t sure if you had anything to eat out here, so I brought you this.  It.. might actually be a bit too big for you.”  Laughing slightly, I handed the piece of sandwich off to him.  It was half his height, but he took it eagerly.  I sat down lightly, keeping watch for anything that might hurt him as he chowed down.  “Yeh tnaig?”  The survivor startled me from surveillance.  “Hmm?  What’s wrong little guy?”  He pointed to his throat, then cupped his hands and pretended to drink.  “Oh!  You’re thirsty?  I have some water, but it’s back with my bike.  Sorry, I should’ve brought it.”  The survivor gave me a confused look.  He didn’t understand me.  I knew he couldn’t, but I kept forgetting.  He looked so normal that I expected him to speak a language I knew.

“Come on,” I gestured for him to follow me like I had the day before.  He promptly got up and headed after me.  The pace was even slower than yesterday.  In the field, the little survivor could easily keep walking all the way across, albeit his steps were much shorter than mine.  Here in the uncut forest, he had to weave and duck through the foliage like it was a jungle.  He was exhausted after only a short time, and made the same gestures for a drink again, as if I hadn’t understood him the first time.  I wanted to go and bring him one, but that body I’d found had me scared.  What if I left him and something attacked?  I’d feel awful if I came back to find a similar scene to the first survivor.

I.. I can try taking him there myself.  But is he going to run away from me if I do that?  Wild animals generally don’t like being held.  But he wasn’t some wild animal.  Surely he was smart enough to understand that I was helping him.  Taking a knee, I slowly reached for him.  “I’m just gonna help you out, ok little guy?”  The survivor backed away from my hand uncertainly, but he didn’t run.  “I'm just taking you to get a drink, like you wanted,” I told him, pointing towards the edge of the woods and the parking lot.  

The survivor glanced between me and the distance he had to travel several times, then eventually glanced down at my hesitating hand.  I came closer again and he held his hands up slightly, squeezing his eyes shut.  However, he stood perfectly still. 

His reaction hurt slightly.  Doesn’t he know I won’t attack him?  He looks scared of me, but I’m not a predator.  I’m a person; I wouldn’t eat him or kill him for no reason.  Slowly, I gripped his torso in a light fist and lifted him into the air.  He yelled — dangling legs instantly pulling in against himself as he rushed to grip my fingers.  The survivor’s eyes were wide open now, looking around himself fearfully.  

“Hey, come on, really?” I asked, causing his head to whip back around towards me.  His breathing picked up against the palm of my hand.  “Is it really that scary?”  Apparently it was.  He readjusted, trying to cling even tighter to my fingers.  I sighed, “Man, you’re like.. the same age as me!  Can’t you tell that I’m not some big scary animal?”  I headed back to my bike with him in my hand. He struggled so much I nearly dropped him accidentally.  It wasn’t violent struggling like he was in danger, but still.  

Finally, I reached my bike and released him on the asphalt.  He scrambled backwards and tripped over his own feet, glancing around at the sky before taking a few steps closer to the bike, shying away from the open space.  “It’s alright," I assured him, taking out my water bottle and pouring him a capful.  “I’ll shoo away anything that tries to get you.”  “I- I t’nod tnaw ot eb tuo ereh,” he said nervously, ducking closer to the bike’s wheel until he was pressed against it.  Tsuj- t’nac uoy ekat eht retaw revo ot eht sterof daetsni?  Stnaig t’nod yllausu ekil em gnignah dnuora ni eht nepo, dna eht sdrib ekil ti a elttil oot hcum.”

I chuckled and shook my head.  “I have no clue what you’re saying, but you sure are talking.  Here, have some water.”  I handed him the bottle cap filled with water, but he only pointed to the woods.  I didn’t move until he begrudgingly took it.  Sitting on the curb beside my bike, I watched the little survivor.  A few dogs passed by on the opposite side of the lot.  Both of us eyed them warily, but they were well-behaved pets.  They ignored us and continued on after their owners.  

Wait.. pet.  I glanced down at the survivor.  He’d relaxed a bit once the dogs passed us, but he was still on alert.  I’d been thinking about that body — the poor survivor who could do nothing to save themselves from such an awful death.  “Hey little guy?  What do you think of becoming my pet?  Some people keep survivors and train them, you know.  You’d be a lot safer with me!  I’d have to hide you from my family, though,” I grumbled.  “Maybe I can make you a little home in my backyard or something.  What do you think?”  He just gave me a blank, confused look.  “Right…” I sighed, “Before I teach you any tricks I think I’m gonna have to teach you some words first.  At least you understand gestures.”

The only thing my musings were met with was a small gesture for more water.  I thought for a moment as I refilled the survivor’s bottle cap.  “I guess I should start with a name.  Hmmm.. should I give you a human name or more of a pet name?”  I thought for a moment, “What if I name you Bandit?  Because you took my soccer ball?  My sister did warn me that your kind likes to steal things.”

Once Bandit was done with his drink, I stood up decisively.  He startled, but calmed down soon after.  That was until I reached for him again.  Bandit dodged away from my grasp and stepped away from my bike.  Pointing towards the woods, he told me something and started walking in that direction.  “No, look!  I’m going to give you a real home now!  Your name’s gonna be Bandit and I’ll take care of you.  You don’t have to fight to survive out here anymore.”  I stepped over to him and tried to pick him up again, but he took off at a run — surprisingly fast for something so small.  Thankfully, it only took a little jog to catch up with him and corner Bandit with my hands.

The survivor began yelling as I stood back up.  His legs were pinned in one hand and his torso in the other.  “Tahw eht lleh?!  Tahw era uoy gniod htiw em?!  Tup em nwod!  I t’nod tnwa uoy ot yrrac em dnuora; I nac klaw tsuj enif!”  He sounded angry, but he just didn’t understand.  He probably thought I was taking him back to that sad little spot I’d found him tucked up in.  “Man, you gotta calm down!” I told him surprisedly, “You’re yelling like I’m going to murder you or something.  I’m literally saving your life!”

As gently as I could with all his struggling, I placed Bandit into my bike basket and hopped on.  He peered over the edge for a moment, confused.  However, he gasped and ducked down inside as I lifted the kickstand.  “Yeh!  I- I thguoht ew erew sdneirf!  Erehw era uoy gnikat em?”  “That’s right,” I said softer than before, “I’m getting you out of here.  Now hold on tight!  We’ll be at my house before you know it!”

I biked slowly through the parking lot and across the road, but once I hit the bike trail, I took off — excited to bring home my new pet.  Bandit yelled a few more times, and I slowed down each time.  However, I kept forgetting and speeding back up again.  About two-thirds of the way there, my little pet finally had enough.  While I was focused on a blind turn up ahead, the little thing lept out of the basket.  A heartstopping thwack resounded off the dirt path as he hit it.  I came to a screeching halt a few feet further and dropped my bike to the ground, rushing to his side.  

Blood had begun pooling through his pant leg as he hastily scrambled to his feet before immediately falling back over again.  “Bandit!  Holy shit!  Why’d you do that?!  I thought survivors were smart enough to know not to jump out of a moving vehicle!”  An agonizing cry stopped me from scolding him any longer.  “Shit, I..  I gotta get you home and bandage that up.”  Scooping him up in my arms, I drove the rest of the way single-handedly — Bandit gasping and whining the whole way back.  The sound made me sick.  I don’t understand!  He knew it was moving!  They’re supposed to be the second smartest creatures in the world besides humans!

I drove straight into the backyard when I got home, rushing for the back door.  However, when I threw it open, my sister stood in the doorway, arms crossed.  I had quick enough reflexes to hide Bandit behind my back, but that was all.  “I knew you were up to something when Mom told me where you were going!” she accused.  “No!” I yelped, covering up a groan from my little injured pet.  “I was at the park!  I swear!”  “So why are you sneaking in the back-”  Julie’s face paled mid-sentence.  “Ritchie?  Is that blood on your sweatshirt?”  Shit.  It was.  Bandit’s leg must’ve bled into my clothing while I was holding him tucked against my chest.

There was no use trying to lie.  Julie was a veterinary major — specializing in surgery.  She knew blood when she saw it.  “I- I can explain.”  Before I could explain anything, she grabbed my arm and fearfully yanked it out from behind me.  Bandit cried out in pain as he was jerked forward.  Protectively, I tucked him back against myself as my shocked sister let go of me.  “I knew you would go back for that survivor,” she said under her breath.  “But what the hell did you do?”

“I- I didn’t do anything!  He jumped out of my bike while I was riding it and-”  “Give him to me.”  “What?  No!  What are you going to do with him?”  She held out her cupped hands, “What do you think I’m going to do with him?  I have to stop him from bleeding like that or he will die.  Please, just let me have him.”  “I- It’s not that bad!” I lied, backing away, “This stain isn’t even that big!”  “It is to him.”  Julie’s voice suddenly turned hostily serious.  Hesitantly, I tried to give Bandit to her, but he gasped and tried to avoid her hands.

I was about to tell her that I should just bring him wherever she wanted him, but Julie spoke first.  “S’ti thgirla; I t’now truh uoy.  M’i ereh ot pleh uoy.”  I blinked, dumbstruck.  Even Bandit stopped struggling.  “Did.. you just speak survivor language?” I gawked.  Less than a second later, Bandit practically flung himself out of my grasp and into Julie’s arms.  He started speaking so quickly, even she gave him a confused look.  “Tsuj gnah ni ereht,” she said gently, “Ll’i teg uoy dexif pu.”  She rushed off into the bathroom.  The rumbling of medicine bins filled the air along with the sound of rushing water.  I was so stunned I stood in the doorway for several minutes before quickly closing the back door and rushing after my sister.

[hannahbarberra162]

Can't Fix Fix A Broken Heart, Chapter 13

On Ao3

18+ MDNI

All chapters

Thatch POV

He had kept his cool, and caressed you until you fell asleep in his arms. You looked so enchanting sleeping with your head on his chest, listening to him breathe. He loved that you curled yourself around him like a little cat, and that you fit into him like a missing puzzle piece. You had finally relaxed in your sleep and it was nice seeing you like this. He could have kept you this way forever. 

Which was a good temper to his unbelievable anger. If it hadn’t been your first night with him, he would have gotten up and found a fight. Or maybe picked one. On a crew of one thousand pent up men, there was always a fight happening somewhere. He needed to spill some blood with his fists, no weapons. He had so much simmering rage, he could barely contain himself. You were so nonchalant about being locked in a crate, as if that was something that happened to everyone. You had endured such terrible abuse for so long that you had normalized it to yourself. And you had even asked if he was mad at you! Along with apologizing constantly, that was another habit you’d need to break. He wanted to talk to Marco and Ace. Just killing those remaining Marines wasn’t enough. 

But he stayed with you, blew out the lamp, and tugged you closer. You shifted a little in your sleep but didn’t wake up. No wonder you were afraid of the dark. He still had so much pent up aggression and anger, he needed to do something. He looked down at you and saw that your nightshirt had ridden up a little and he could see your lithe thighs. You were sleeping, and he wasn’t going to touch you, so there was no harm in a little…self indulgence. 

He was already hard when he fisted his cock in his pants. He pulled himself out and began lightly stroking. He wanted this to last as long as he could with you so close to him. He could feel your hot breaths on his chest and your tiny hands gripping his skin. He started gently stroking your hips, his fingers close to but not touching your incredible ass. He started pumping his cock a little harder and faster now. Given the erotic meal you’d had before combined with you laying on him, he wasn’t sure how long he would last. He imagined you on top of him, riding him and bouncing on his cock. He imagined eating you out and listening to your whines and cries. He imagined him fucking you from behind while you sucked off Marco. The final image brought him to release. He strained to be quiet and as motionless as possible but couldn’t stop himself from bucking into his hand. 

He had a large volume of cum erupt all over his hand. Looking around for a towel or cloth, he suddenly had another idea. He started slowly rubbing his cum onto your exposed skin. On your legs, your arms, your back, wherever he could reach. He rubbed it in until it wasn’t sticky anymore and had almost disappeared. He felt satisfied that even if you didn’t know it, you’d been marked by him. With a contented sigh, he fell asleep.

Y/N POV

You’d slept for a while, you thought. At least a couple hours. The room was dark, as Thatch had blown out the lamp again. He was asleep, you could hear his deep, even breathing. Quietly, you tried to squirm out of his hold. His arm was heavy as lead, you couldn’t get away without moving it. You put your hands on either side of his forearm and slowly, almost imperceptibly, raised his arm. You wriggled out from underneath, and gently put his arm back down. You made your way to the edge of the bed as silently as you could, and swung your legs over the side. You were about to touch down your feet when Thatch’s arm coiled around you and dragged you back to where you began, this time facing him.

“Y/N , care to explain?” Thatch said in an icy tone.

“Ah, well, I’m up? I’m awake so I thought I’d…”

“You thought you’d what? Sneak away? Break the rules on the first night?”

“No, I just thought - “

“That’s what keeps getting you into trouble, Y/N. You keep thinking that the rules don’t apply to you, when they’re designed for you.” He let out a big sigh “I’m afraid I’m going to have to punish you.” He sounded almost reluctant.

“P-punish? Wait, please Th-thatch I..”

He cupped your face in both his hands. “It will be OK, querida. Take your punishment like a good girl, and everything will be forgiven. I may not even tell the others.”

You were trembling but you gave out a shaky “o-ok.”

“Good. Now strip.”

“Wh- what?”

“Take off your shirt. You’ve lost the privilege of wearing clothing for the night. Since I can’t trust that you won’t run away, I can at least ensure that you won’t want to.”

“B-bu-”

“No arguing. I’m not going to tell you again. Strip.”

You were close to crying, but Thatch manhandled you until you were sitting upright. You stood on your knees, and with shaking fingers pulled your shirt over your head. You were shivering, but not from the cold. You felt exposed and unprotected, like a snail without a shell. You realized Thatch had taken off his pants as well.

“Why are you also naked, I th-”

He sighed loudly. “Again? Y/N, this is really becoming too much. Be a good little thing and take your discipline. Come here.”

This time he didn’t grab you, you could tell he wanted you to lay down next to him. You went towards the middle of the bed, and laid flat on your back. You pulled the covers up to your neck, and tried to close your eyes. Thatch hummed next to you, turned on his side again, and scooped you into his now bare body. You were in the same position as the beginning of the night, this time in the nude. You could feel the backs of your legs molded to his, your back to his hairy chest, his head above yours, and his huge dick starting to prod your backside. 

“Mmh. Isn’t this better, Y/N? Isn’t this more comfortable for us both?”

“Y-yeah.” 

“Settle down and go back to sleep. You need more rest.”

“OK, Thatch.”

With that, he reached over and cupped your mound between your legs. He didn’t move his fingers or stimulate you, just held you possessively. You were shocked so you tried to squirm away from him. When that didn’t work, you tried to take his hand off of you with your own. He lightly spanked your pussy and said “you don’t move my hand.” You were stunned and felt that everything had spiraled out of control.

You were crying silently, your tears running down your cheeks. Thatch released his hold on you and wiped your tears. 

“Punishments show that we care, carina. I don’t want you to be tired and unhealthy. You earned this one, and it’s not too bad, right? I’m not mad anymore. You’ll be OK. Hush, and let’s go back to sleep.” He resumed cupping your mons, shushing you periodically, as your crying slowly stopped. 

Against all odds, you eventually fell back asleep.

[b00knerd1o1]

Finding A Balance:

Summary:

Opposites attract, Right? At least that's the case with Wednesday Addams and Enid Sinclair. As the two girls date, they're forced to find activities they both enjoy, Which is harder than it looks.

“Are you not cold?” Enid asks, pulling the jacked she had borrowed from Wednesday tighter around her shoulders.

“Freezing,” Wednesday replies.

“Take it back then,” Enid says, flinging the coat off. “It’s my fault I didn’t bring a jacket.”

“Nonsense, Enid,” Wednesday says, pushing it back. “I insisted on the location of our picnic being a surprise; you had no way of knowing you should have brought one. Besides, I quite enjoy the feeling.”

“Oh.” Enid hesitantly puts the jacket back on. “Well, thanks for putting this all together. The food’s great.”

“Of course. I researched werewolf’s nutritional needs and preferences and observed your eating habits during meal time to ensure I got it right.”

Enid looks down at her stake. “That’s really thoughtful of you, Wednesday.”

“Don’t compliment me on the bare minimum, Enid. I’m not a man.”

Enid holds off on taking another bite of her food so that her laughter can clear. “Of course. I’ll restrain myself to only to complement the extraordinary things about you, but I’ll still never run out.”

“I doubt that.”

“Oh really?” Enid says, ready to make a fool of herself, listing everything she finds endearing about Wednesday.

“It’s implausible that anyone, especially me, could possess enough positive traits for someone to list for all eternity.”

“Are you doubting my abilities?” Enid says playfully, leaning towards Wednesday.

“My statement was clearly about my unagreeable personality, not your ability to list the traits others contain that you enjoy.”

At the beginning of their relationship, Wednesday’s brazen attitude, refusal to sugarcoat anything, and penchant for getting straight to the point had unsettled Enid; she had never met anyone like Wednesday and was completely unsure how to act around the other girl. Over time she had become used to the other girl’s straightforwardness and even enjoyed it. The realization had hit after the disastrous parents’ weekend. 

Her mother had constantly skirted around the topic of her wolfing out, rarely directly bringing it up but always hinting at and eluding to it. She never felt like she could point it out since it would mean she had brought it up, and in her mother’s eye, that meant she had free reign to say whatever she wanted, no matter how hurtful. During that week, being around Wednesday had been a reprieve. She could relax, not worrying about any hidden meaning behind the other girl’s words and actions. It had taken her until the day she almost lost Wednesday to realize that those feelings weren’t only of friendship but of love.

“I’ll give you one right now,” Enid says. “You’re the only person I could enjoy a picnic in a cemetery with.” Enid gestures to their surroundings to prove her point.

“In the late nineteenth century, it was common to visit your local cemetery to have a snack since many communities did not have proper public recreational areas. The practice only fell out of favor within society due to the push for more public spaces and the negative associations that have arisen around death in the past hundred years.”

“There’s another one!” Enid proclaims. “You know so many cool little facts about everything!”

“That’s not something uniquely attributed to me; it’s a common trait of many autistic people. Some even find our penchant for delivering them whenever we see fit quite annoying.”

“Well, I think it’s adorable. Anyone who says otherwise is clearly ableist,” Enid says, smiling brightly at Wednesday. When she looks down to cut another piece off her stake, she realizes she has finished it. Wednesday had finished her meal a while ago, but Enid doesn’t say anything. If she brings attention to the fact that they are both done, it could mean the date is almost over, and she’s not ready for that.

“You’re finished. Perfect.” Wednesday says, and Enid’s shoulders drop. “I’ve prepared an activity for us to do if you wish to stay longer.” Enid perks up as soon as she hears Wednesday’s words.

“Really!” Enid says as Wednesday reaches into the picnic basket that she had brought.

“Of course.” Wednesday pulls out a stack of paper and a brightly colored box of crayons wrapped in a black napkin. “We can search the graveyard for interesting graves and make crayon rubbings. We could even make it a competition if you want to. I set our blanket in the center of the cemetery. We could pick sides and see who can find the oldest person.”

“I’d rather do it together,” Enid says, sliding closer to Wednesday but making sure not to bump into her. Over time, Enid realized that Wednesday wasn’t necessarily averted to touch, just touch she couldn’t control. Ever since Enid had come to the realization, she always let Wednesday make the first contact and then work from there.

Wednesday smiles and places her hand atop Enids while pressing their shoulders together. “What color crayon do you want?”

“Do I have to choose just one?” Enid says as they stand.

“We will likely make multiple rubbings, so you can use a new one each time.” Enid smiles and grabs the crayon box from Wednesday. Before she picks her first crayon, she grabs the black one for Wednesday, not wanting her girlfriend to accidentally touch one of the colorful ones.

“Thank you,” Wednesday says when Enid hands her the crayon. It only takes them a second of walking through the graveyard to find their first victim.

“Look, they died on December thirty-first nineteen ninety-nine.”

“I guess Y2K was true for them,” Wednesday says as she hands Enid a sheet of paper.

“I wonder If they died at 11:59 PM?” Enid says as she places the paper on the headstone

“Statistically, no, but it’s fun to wonder.” When she’s finished, Enid carefully hands the paper to Wednesday, so her skin won’t touch the colorful markings and switches her pink crayon for a blue.

The two walk around alternating between Wednesday’s black and Whatever color enid chooses.

“Dorm curfew is in an hour, and as much as I love sneaking around and bending the rules, we should probably start back to Nevermoor soon. We have time for one more,” Wednesday says.

Enid deflates a little bit. “Alright, let’s make it the best yet.”

“You do realize we won’t be parting ways once we return to campus? We are roommates, Enid.”

“I know, but this is so nice. I never want it to end.” Wednesday looks over to Enid, about to say something, but her eyes slip further into the distance. “What is it?” Enid asks, turning to look in the direction her girlfriend is staring.

“I think I found our final gravestone.” Enid follows Wednesday as she walks over to an old-looking grave near the cemetery entrance. The only thing of note on the headstone seems to be an oval-headed figure with wings at the top. Enid notices a faded phrase under the figure in the last seconds before Wednesday presses the blank paper to the old marble.

“What does it say near the top?”

“Momento Mori. It’s Latin for remember you will die.” Enid’s face pales to almost the same shade as her girlfriends when she hears the words.

“Why would someone want that on their grave?” She squeaks, moving to hide behind Wednesday.

“Pilgrims, mainly the puritans, would have it engraved on their tombstones as a reminder to all that saw to be humble and stay righteous because death could grip you at any moment. The figure of a winged skull would accompany most, but this one lacks the skull aspect of the iconography. Discounting the religious aspect, this is one of the few things I approved of the pilgrims.” Enid places her hand on Wednesday’s shoulder as even more color drains from her face. “Don’t faint, Enid. I didn’t bring the smelling salts with me.”

“I’m not going to faint. I just need a second.”

“Do you need to sit?”

“Ya, that would help.” Enid sinks to the ground with Wednesday’s help. After she finishes the rubbing, she helps Enid to her feet, and they begin their walk back to Nevermore. “This really was amazing Wednesday. Thank you so much for planning it.”

“It was nothing. The homework for the past week has been elementary, so I simply spent the time I would normally allot to it on planning this. It was quite enjoyable to venture to the cemetery last night to find the perfect spot for us to eat.”

“That’s where you were.”

“I also took the time to collect the supplies for our date.”

“I don’t know how I’m going to live up to this next week.”

“Being with you is enough. I would be overjoyed to sit with you and do homework. I will adore anything you choose.”

Read the rest here:

[celestiall0tus]

Lady and the Scoundrel - Chapter 14 - Path to Redemption

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            Chloe headed out of class with Barkk beside her. They walked outside while Barkk prattled on. Chloe ignored Barkk while she zoned in and out. A few weeks had passed since the holiday break ended. Everything had gone back to normal, or a relative normal. The Scoundrel, Felix, hadn’t been causing trouble like he was. She was back in school, living on campus. The other students still swarmed Barkk in attempts to be her friend. She had noticed a few realized her existence, but she didn’t feel like entertaining them.

            Chloe looked away as she fell in step behind Barkk. Before the holiday, she wanted nothing but to be noticed. She wanted to prove she was better, but was she really? Had she changed at all? Things felt different, but was it enough? Was she worthy of being a hero when she failed to stop the Scoundrel? Was she worthy of friends after all the heartache she’s caused? Was she worthy of a family when her blood family never loved her?

            Chloe gasped when Barkk took her hand and led her through the campus grounds back to their dorm. Chloe tried to get a protest out, but Barkk ignored her until they were away from prying eyes.

            “Chloe, we need to talk,” Barkk said.

            “About what? There’s nothing to talk about.”

            “Chloe, I know better. I am empathic just like Velze. I can feel your heart troubled. Are you still focused on what happened with Felix?”

            “Well, of course! I just… I thought I could be a hero. I thought I was finally doing right, but then all that. I just… I don’t know. I just… I said a lot of things. Things I never wanted to tell him. Things I never wanted to hear. Things I don’t think I was ready to fully face.”

            “Is that why you’ve given up on making friends?”

            “No. Yes? Maybe.”

            “Talk to me, Chloe. I’m here.”

            “You were there. You heard everything.”

            “Maybe so, but I can’t read your thoughts or discern the source of your emotions. I’ll only know if you tell me.”

            Chloe sighed. “I know I’ve admitted to all that I’ve failed at. I know I’ve seen the errors, but it all hit when I looked at myself in the mirror. When I saw the girl for what she was. The little monster that ruined everything. The abomination that was so full of herself, blinded by false power that she destroyed everything precious to her. I even tried to use Felix, Scoundrel, whatever for my own gains as I had with so many others. Everything always started and ended with me.”

            “You are right. You made mistakes, as your kind usually does. You’re not perfect. None of you are, but that doesn’t change the fact you are just as worthy of a second chance as anyone else. And unlike most, you took the chance. You made the effort to change. Even if no one else accepts it, sees you only for your past, nothing will change the truth.”

            “It doesn’t feel like that. Not when I’m reminded of my past constantly.”

            “True, but how does it make you feel to remember all that?”

            “Sad… and angry. Really angry.”

            “Go on.”

            “I was a fool. I used and manipulated people I thought were below me to feel better about myself. It made me feel powerful and good in a twisted sense. I reveled in it until my rule was challenged and undermined. Even when I hit rock bottom before and was given a chance to prove myself, I messed that up too. I doubled down when I should have stopped and realized the truth, but I didn’t.”

            Barkk remained silent and listened.

            “Even now, in London, I’m repeating old habits. I may not be manipulating people, but I’m using them. I’m taking advantage of their despair and helplessness to make myself feel and look better. Even with those people calling me a hero, it was never enough. I had to go for more, but I… I messed up with that. Felix was enamored at the sight of me. He wanted me like I feared. And then me hitting him with that arrow, him looking at me, and being nice to me, it just… it was wrong. I just feel… I just feel like I’m doing the same thing I did in Paris. Like all this has been a waste of time and I haven’t changed at all. That I’m still the mean old Chloe I was in Paris.”

            Barkk opened her mouth when a knock came at the door. She got up and opened it. Her pigtails lifted in surprise to see Felix with a tall boy with tan skin and short black hair. She pulled her lips back in a snarl and growled.

            “What are you doing here, Plagg? I told you this is my territory.”

            Plagg waved his hand dismissing as he pushed past Barkk. “Relax. I won’t be long. Besides, I don’t want to linger somewhere that reeks of love.”

            “Enough, Plagg. Chloe, I came to speak with you,” Felix said.

            “Well, I’ve got nothing to say to you,” Chloe retorted.

            “Then just listen. Look, for what little it’s worth, I’m sorry for upsetting you. I realized I might have pushed too far and brought back unpleasant memories and trauma. I just… I was angry. I hoped for a hot warrior girlfriend, but she turned out to be you.”

            Chloe glared at Felix.

            “Right, sorry. I’m sorry I brought all that up when I lashed out. I hadn’t realized what you were going through, and might have dismissed it whenever Memoria brought it up. Regardless, if you would like, we can keep up the routine we had been. You know, when I would cause random trouble and you chase me off.”

            “I don’t want that. I don’t even know what I want anymore.”

            “I thought you wanted to change?”

            “I did, do, but have I really changed? Especially when it seems like I’m repeating the same habits.”

            “Hard to say if you are repeating, but I can say you’ve changed. You’re nothing like the snot-nosed, stuck up, annoying, bossy little bitch I had to suffer because Adrien liked you for some reason.”

            Chloe rolled her eyes. “You’re just saying that to be nice.”

            Felix laughed. “When have I ever done that? Especially for you.”

            “Fine, so what if I’ve changed. What’s the point if people won’t accept it like you? I mean, would you even be here and be your version of nice if I hadn’t shot you with that arrow and you looked at me?”

            Felix shrugged. “Hard to say. I admit I was confused by the effects of that arrow, and maybe I wouldn’t be, but I’m glad I was hit and saw you. If not for it, I wouldn’t see someone who understands.”

            Chloe furrowed her brows. “What do you mean?”

            “To make a long story short, I saw myself in you after getting hit. I realized where your pain comes from and the cause of it. Our circumstances are very different, but that doesn’t make the pain we feel any less real. We both lashed out. We both hurt people. We still may, but because we’re still damaged. And we may never fully heal, but we can learn to live with what happened and become more than our pasts.”

            “We?” Chloe echoed.

            “I know I didn’t stutter. I never thought change possible for myself until I saw it in you. It helped me to see what more I could be through you.”

            “Does this mean you’ll stop assisting in heists?”

            “Hey, I just said I understand. I didn’t say I was going to give all that up.”

            “Then why talk like you’re going to change?”

            “Because change doesn’t just mean being a goody-two shoes. I’ll leave that for those with a real moral compass. After all, change and redemption means something different for everyone. So, how would you like to talk this path together and see where we end up?”

            “If you keep causing trouble, I will step in to stop you,” Chloe warned.

            Felix grinned and held out a hand. “I would hope for nothing less. How about it then? Shall we see where this road takes us, together?”

            Chloe hesitated. She looked at Barkk, who gave an enthusiastic nod. She sighed and took Felix’s hand.

            “Alright. I’d rather better company, but it’ll be good to walk this path with someone like me,” Chloe said.

            “Likewise. Until we get that, here’s to putting the past behind us.”

            “And for a brighter future.”

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