#But I'd actually started watching him again recently and I've noticed

[bluejaypirate]

[tomssexdoll]

can you do where reader and Tom were best friends and Tom was secretly crushing on her at school like 2003-2005 but then Tom had to leave the school because he got famous and had to go to tour and stuff and school was pretty hard for him but in 2009 he sees reader somewhere like in a restaurant and they talk about old times and then they go to reader’s house and then it ends with smut

i love this idea sm

Gone too long

PAIRINGS: Tom 2009 x Female reader CONTENT: FLUFF + SMUT SYPNOSIS: Y/N and Tom were best friends in years ago, Tom had to leave in 2005 when his career started to peak, leaving Y/N all alone. She didn't know at the time but he had the biggest crush on her and leaving her was one of the worst things that could happen. Later in 2009 he still thinks about her everyday, and then one day sees her in a resturant, eating alone. A/N: ee WARNINGS: dom!tom, sub!reader, p in v (missionary and riding), nipple play, teasing, squirting

When I was around 13, I met this guy named Tom, he was instantly my best friend and we hung out for days on end, every time we'd see each other we'd always work to one specific corner store and order the same thing every time.

But in 2005, his music career started to rise and he got more attention. I'd always helped him and the band with getting gigs at small bars or house parties but they never really became super famous.

He had to leave and I was devistated, 2 years of friendship wasted. Little did he know I had the fattest crush on him.

As the years went by I watched as his career progressed, him turning into a handsome young man. One day I decided to go eat out alone, not let my thoughts get the best of me.

I picked a cute little resturant, a family owned business that had recently opened, everyone I know was saying how good this place was, even celebrities were going.

I opened the swinging doors, greeted by a waiter and being sat at a 50s themed booth. I skimmed over the menu, looking at all the delicious options, things from chicken burgers to beef burgers to nuggets to fries to milkshakes.

I chose a strawberry milkshake and a beef burger with a side of fries, I hadn't eaten breakfast earlier so I was super hungry. I looked around the place, noticing how all the customers looked so happy, couples sharing milkshakes, families bonding and eating.

Then, I saw a guy sitting alone, black braids with a black bandana, I decided to ignore him but I couldn't shake the feeling off that he was staring at me. I decided to look again and my eyes widened, a familiar face, the face I've loved for years.

I realized it was Tom and he had realized it was me, I saw him stand up with his food and rush over to me, sitting down in the booth, we were both speechless, surprised to be seeing each other after so long.

"Hey Y/N..it's been a while" he smiled softly, I nodded, not being able to form words, super shocked that he was actually in front of me after so long. "So..how are you?" he chuckled, munching on his fries.

"Fuck..uh..." I snapped out of my trance, "i'm fine..I have a really cool job and I haven't been able to stop thinking about you..I watched all your interviews in hopes you'd maybe talk about me" I confessed, my cheeks flushing red, turning my head to look away from him.

"I mean, I couldn't stop thinking about you too, I'd try distract myself but you always clouded my thoughts" he chuckled, reaching his hand out and grabbing mine, causing me to snap my head back to him.

"I'm glad I could see you again, you've grown so much" he smirked "you're very beautiful" he teased, sending a little wink. I giggled, "you're very handsome yourself Tom, I love the braids"

For the next 3 hours we talked about old times, what we used to get up to and what we've been doing for the past 4 years. The resturant was near closing, we didn't even notice that we had been chatting for so long, we just had so much to catch up on and so much chemistry, the conversation never went awkward.

"Hey folks, the resturant is closing now, can we ask if you can pay your Bill and leave? We're so sorry" the waiter came up to us, "oh of course!" I smiled, going up to the counter to pay for my meal, "no no, let me pay liebe" I chuckled "liebe? You haven't called me that since 2004, who do you think you are" I said playfully, a smug grin appearing on his face as he payed for my meal.

"Thanks for that Tom" I leaned in, kissing his cheek sweetly and holding onto his hand, our fingers interlocking. I had walked to the resturant since it was so close to my house, Tom of course drived, his black sports car waiting outside.

"You wanna go back to mine? I really did miss you, I don't want our little date to get cut short" he frowned, looking down at me, "of course I want to" I smiled, pulling him with me to his car.

He opened the door for me, "why thank you" I smirked and got into the passanger seat, buckling myself up. He came to the side and got into the drivers seat, starting the car.

He sneakily slid a hand on my thigh as he started to drive. I rolled the window down, the cool breeze hitting my skin, sending goosebumps all over my arms.

I looked at the empty streets, admiring the yellowy glow of the street lights. As we arrived to his house he guided me in, bringing me to the lounge room. I sat on the couch as he dissapeared to the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of champagne for me and him, 2 glasses in his other hand.

He sat down next to me, pouring us a glass. We continued to talk for another hour, sipping at our drinks. Eventually we got tipsy, tension starting to fill the room. I had taken my jacket off, my boobs nearly buldging out of my tank top.

I noticed the way he just stared at my cleavage, a tent forming in his pants. "Tom" I called out, "oh..sorry" he chuckled, scratching his neck nervously.

I smirked and climbed onto his lap, smashing his lips into mine. His hands immediately flew to my hips, holding them tightly, deepening the kiss.

"Mm.." I moaned into the kiss, Tom slipping his tongue into my mouth and bucking his hips up, grinding against me softly. Our tongues fought for dominance, getting heated quickly.

He picked me up, holding me by my ass and walking towards his room, our lips still glued together. He pulled away for a moment, throwing me onto the bed and crawling to me, smashing his lips into mine again, grabbing my hands and pinning them above my head.

"Tom!" I gasped, his kisses trailing down to my neck, sucking roughly and leaving marks everywhere, basically claiming me as his. "Fuck.." he groaned, pushing his erection onto my stomach.

He let go of my hands, tugging at my shirt and pulling it off, along with my bra, revealing my perky breasts, nipples hard. "Ohh my god.." his breath hitched, leaning down and latching onto one of my nipples, sucking harshly.

I whined, "oh fuck! mm Tom!" arching my back, his cock pressing into me harder. He started to take his shirt off, along with his pants and boxers, leaving him completely nude all while kissing and sucking on my nipples.

He eventually let go, dragging my skirt off and rubbing my clit over my panties softly, my hips bucking up "ohh..someones excited" he smirked, peeling them off and throwing them to the side.

I whined, growing impatient, he detected this and smirked, aligning himself at my entrance, slowly pushing in. "Oh fuck!" I cried out, holding onto his biceps as he stretched me out slowly, making sure it didn't hurt.

After bottoming himself out he started to thrust slowly, trying to get me adjusted to his size. "Fuck..Tom you're so big.." I groaned, scratching at his back, he chuckled and started to thrust faster.

Eventually he started to pound into me, hitting my g spot repeatedly, "fuck.." he grunted, leaning down and starting sucking on my nipples again, swirling his tongue around my sensitive buds, little moans escaping my mouth.

I whimpered, his cock slamming into me cruely, stabbing at my g spot desperatly, his cock throbbing in my tight wetness. He grabbed my hips tightly, grazing his teeth over my nipples.

I felt tension build up in my stomach, twisting into a tight knot. He threw his head back, mouth slightly agape, cock twitching in me.

He groaned, feeling his balls tighten as he neared his orgasm. He could feel me clenching around his cock, causing him to lose control, "I'm gonna cum! Fuck!" he groaned, ejaculating and spurting his hot cum into me pussy, filling it to the brim.

I moaned at the sensation of my pussy being filled, my orgasm crashing down, juices spilling all over his cock. "Holy fuck.." I panted, Tom fell down onto the bed next to me, catching his breath.

Before I knew it I was on his cock again, he grabbed me by my waist and easily picked me up, slamming me back down onto his length, making me ride him.

"Oh fuck!" I whined, he grabbed my hips and started to help me move up and down on his cock, "you're so fucking hot.." he growled, slapping my ass harshly.

I yelped and rode faster, his tip hitting all the right spots, "that's right baby, ride my cock like the little slut you are.." he grinned, reaching out and fondling my bouncing breasts, rubbing his thumb over my nipple.

"Ohh fuck!" I whined, bouncing up and down on his cock, chasing another orgasm, my cunt dripping with juices. I threw my head back, the pleasure taking over my body, no thoughts being processed in my head.

He started to thrust up into me, meeting my movements. Hands squeezing my breasts roughly, "taking my cock so well..such a good girl" he praised, I felt my climax building again.

I was drunk on his cock, it was like drugs to me, addicting. He smirked, smacking my ass again, balls slapping onto my ass, hips slamming into mine roughly.

"Cum on this cock again, now" he commanded, I cried out and dug my nails into his shoulders, legs twitching as I came again, a clear stream of liquid spilling onto his abdomen.

"Holy shit!" I whined, collapsing onto his chest as he came deep in me again, fucking the cum into my pussy so it wouldn't spill out. He layed onto the bed, pulling me with him, pulling out slowly and cleaning me up.

"I missed you so much baby..you've been gone for too long.." he looked deeply into my eyes, brushing stray hairs away from my face and kissing me softly.

"I'm so happy I can be in your arms again" I smiled, kissing him back gently.

tags: @itsmealaiah @itsangelll @kaulitzsbabyy @ballhair @bkaulitzlover @estxkios @charliesgoodboy @tomsonlyslut @ge-billsgf

[theminecraftbee]

hermit horror week day 4: season 7 or taken over

Xisuma slowly blinks at the console logs for the server again. He's very tired; he's been collecting blackstone again, and it's very tiring, collecting blackstone. He's been building a lot of pretty houses, and stocking a lot of shops, and he hasn't had time to look at the console much recently. He probably shouldn't be now, because he's tired, and tired people make mistakes.

He makes a lot of mistakes; he's silly like that. A big derp. It's why he has to be careful, since he's been tired so much lately. He definitely shouldn't have the console open.

It's just, earlier Impulse had a question, since his moss farm kept lagging, and Xisuma thought it would be easy enough to try to find the root cause of. And he did find the root cause of it--Impulse's farm is too fast and his storage simply doesn't keep up with the amount of moss--but there's... some other things...

He blinks again at the dates on the server files. The last edited dates. Slowly, he clicks again on his own player data, and tries to make sense of what he's reading. Files like this, they aren't really meant to be that human-readable. It's--well, it is mostly json, so it's mostly human-readable, actually, but a lot of it is still encrypted, for player safety, which would. Maybe explain what he's looking at? He thinks? He's--well, he does have root access, is the thing, because he's the admin, but he still shouldn't be able to look at any player willy-nilly.

He's a little too much of a derp to be trusted with that. He probably shouldn't even be looking at his data! It's just. That last edited date. Xisuma doesn't edit his own player data. That way lies madness. He's, uh, pretty sure he knows some people who went a little mad doing that. So the fact of the matter is--well, it's not the only file that's been edited recently, he tells himself. Just because it's a lot of memory files that seem to have been edited, as well as access permissions--that's... normal enough for a new season, right?

He's...

He doesn't notice his other self walk up behind him.

"Oh, hey Xisuma. You finished gathering materials for our next build, then?" Evil Xisuma says. All of Xisuma's hairs stand on end.

"I mean, I've gathered enough to get started," Xisuma says.

"Pity. I was really hoping you'd manage to get everything. I thought maybe we'd finish today, but I guess we can't now."

"I--you're right. I'm really sorry."

"No, no, don't worry, don't worry, my friend," Evil Xisuma says. "We probably couldn't have finished today anyway, even if you said you'd try for it."

Xisuma's heart is in his throat. "Sorry, my head's just been. You know how I am. Silly me, forgetting things."

Evil Xisuma shakes his head. "It's awfully lucky I came back this season. Think of all the important things you'd be forgetting without reminders!"

Xisuma looks down and away.

"Gosh, and now you're... playing around in the admin console?"

"Oh!" Xisuma says. "It's, er, nothing really big..."

"Can I see it?"

He barely resists the urge to close out of his player data and hide that's what he'd been looking at. He doesn't know why he wants to hide it. It's not like--well, if Evil Xisuma got mad about it, it would be... right, wouldn't it? Because, well, Xisuma knows full well he shouldn't be looking at or editing his own player data. Editing your own data is the way to madness, and Xisuma, well, he's been so tired lately. He could easily accidentally hit a button. He could easily accidentally hit delete. He has root access, after all.

His heart is in his throat again. He shuffles his feet. "Sure," he says, finally. "I, er, I promise, I wasn't doing anything. I just noticed the last edited date on, uh, files that aren't automatically created by the system? And I thought, gosh, that's weird. I'd only been in there to check on Impulse, really, after he'd had some lag issues. I was just finishing up. It's nothing--the date's weird, though, right? That's all I was noticing."

He watches Evil Xisuma's fingers scroll through all of Xisuma's data. It's not quite fast enough that Xisuma isn't sure he's reading it, and suddenly, Xisuma feels very small.

Finally, Evil Xisuma hands Xisuma's tablet with the admin console open back to him. Xisuma looks down, and Evil Xisuma has closed out of the player data again.

"You just forgot the last maintenance date," Evil Xisuma says.

"Really?" Xisuma says.

"Oh, yeah, for sure. You're so tired lately. You silly derp. You've just been forgetting things easily. You should really get more rest!"

"Oh, but then we won't finish our projects," Xisuma says.

"I guess we wouldn't," Evil Xisuma says back.

"It's just--it's. Most of the time, access permission for player memories isn't edited during maintenance, and I just--I don't remember putting your name down?"

"Why wouldn't you?"

Xisuma tries to think.

"I don't know," he says finally, small, unable to meaningfully articulate anything about what's wrong with it. "I guess it only makes sense, if I'm forgetting things so easily."

"Exactly! Gosh, we make a good team," Evil Xisuma says, and he smiles at Xisuma. Xisuma crookedly smiles back.

"Yeah, we do," Xisuma agrees.

"Don't pull that out again unless I say so, okay?"

"Okay," Xisuma agrees automatically, and then he knows he will not. It makes sense. If he was upsetting himself over nothing like this, why, imagine what he'd do if he could open it whenever? He'd just constantly be upsetting himself!

"Now, my friend, let's return to building the Evil Empire."

"Let's!" agrees Xisuma, and just like that, the entire encounter slips from his mind.

[faunandfloraas]

Aussie question time: when I find out an idol is American/Canadian, their image in my mind completely changes because now it’s like “Oh I know exactly who you are, I grew up with your type around me” there are subtleties that I’m going to understand that others might not. So with all that said, I’ve been curious about what that’s like (if you experience it) w the skz aussies (throw in a lily if you’re feeling it -v-) 🎤

this is wayyyyyy too long so I'm putting it under a read more- also disclaimer: i dont know these guys and these are just my opinions, dont take em too srs <3

Hmmmm... Well I guess I'll start with Felix- I've said it before a bunch but the whole "Felix is a tiny uwuw baby sweet summerchild who is just such a baby" etc. etc. has made me laugh from the get go- because Yep! he is incredibly sensitive and sweet natured and kind and he cries a lot- 100% that is true. Dont think I'm saying it's not. But like. He also grew up in western sydney, he grew up in a area that if you google it one of the first suggestions is "is it safe" but then at the same time he went to private catholic school im pretty sure. and i saw pics from back then that he'd posted back in the day of cool little felix with his gold watch and his fade and all his little homeboys looking rowdy on the train- I know that kid and while that kid can also be sweet and sensitive, he's not incapable and hes not a baby. Good recent example was when he went on that Jewel box show with the gay dudes and people were acting like he was *so uncomfortable* and sooooo out of his element and so this and so that- theres gay dudes all over sydney, there's gay dudes all over australian media- the idea felix couldnt handle that was simply laughable to me- but it kinda shows how many outside perceptions of him still very much fall into that vaguely infantalizing thing. Like when he was the one who was happy to go up to adam levine and dj snake in that skz talker while the other boys were much more shy? that didnt shock me at all. felix went to korea as a whole teenager laregly against his parent wishes- he's actually quite an outgoing and brave guy. Outgoing guys can still be sweeties, though- one doesn't negate the other.

One other aspect of Felix i think a lot of fans just gloss over but is easily noticeable by me is that he can kindaaaaaa be ... a lil bitchy? like he's never ever mean or cruel dont get me wrong- but he has a slight bitchy streak, he rolls his eyes AND he's actually much more sarcastic than people bring up? Again- he does it a lot with Chan and that doesnt shock me- they both are aussie boys, Chan will get it and I think Felix can very much be himself with Chan, he doesn't necessarily feel the need to put up an extra air of like... Sweetie boy-ness? bc when he calls chan a cunt on live chan just laughs and goes OI!! so yuh the main thing with felix is while i do think hes a little sweet guy, ive never from the get go had a hard time seeing him outside of that box, too. Also maybe that's a lil bit aussie humour slipping under the radar here or there 🤔

Chan to me from the get go too was pretty much like. Prototypical overachieving aussie Good Boy. Like, i had a drafted post i never posted bc it was too niche- but it was essentially about how he speaks about sports and the like, and it just said "We get it. You went to zone carnival" which was the sporting event that the kids who got gold or 1st place were sent to. If you went to zone, you were the Successful kid. I think these days most fans perceive him as... a bit of a goofy guy? but I have gone through the archives and i have seen the comments from people talking about how chans such a bad boy- thats shit is so funny to me bc you can show me every iteration of chan and I'd never, ever think he's a bad boy. Like he wishes he was a bad boy, he kinda cosplays a bad boy- even him referencing swearing bc of his australianess and shit over the years makes me giggle a little bc i feel like felix def 100% swears all the time but he doesnt like Smirk about it too much? he doesnt really bring it up? things like that stand out, it to me feels very like Oh yeah I'm this naughty Aussie boy who swears hehe and then all the australians are like ? Girl we all do huh lmao

Otherwise, I dont have as much to say about chan as i do about felix, funnily. Like idk people might perceive differently to me, but nothing too far off? I will say that given Chan's success and the fact he was seemingly a very well achieving kid too (maybe not debuting for such a long time is part of this) he is WAY more humble than I'd expect. Like not to besmirch Australian men but a lot of them can be really loud and cocky, especially the famous successful ones (any sport star) it's almost encouraged to be like that if you're a dude (but only to a certain degree, anything beyond a certain point and you'll be roasted lol) So I have to give credit where it's due and say that Chan *Seemingly does have a very good nature and I appreciate that about him! Its probably why I like him so much bc he actually very much doesn't give off those vibes- he doesn't seem like that overly macho cocky bloke I know very well. So that makes him good fun for me- he's very successful and he's confident and yet he doesn't activate any of my bitch instincts- thats impressive! I don't know him, so I'll never know for sure of course, i feel like i need to make that disclaimer but still I do believe he has a good heart, and he tries so hard! and I appreciate that.

Lily is weirdly like Chan. like she's hilariously like chan tbh- I wonder how they really get along sometimes bc I feel like they might look at each other and be like Hm... we the same............ ? Lmao I will say though, lily is a bit out of pocket and half of that I believe is her personality but half of it is just.... I think she's just australian 😭 like i cant lie you get me as a teenager to early 20 something and put me on a live and I can promise I would be saying as much ?? shit. Like, I do think Australians are a little loud and not necessarily always.... tactful (again Not everyone, but yk.) lily certainly fits that bill to a T. I appreciate that regardless of her idolhood she does still say things that maybe she shouldn't, she shrugs off a shoplifting confession, she says she'd murder someone if she had to, she bought and wore a shirt that fans quickly tracked down and found out all the proceeds were going to Palestine- she would have known what that suggested. she clearly had this goal of being an idol since she was a baby, like literal baby but she hasn't sacrificed her broader personality, even the parts that could potentially be off-putting to those idol fans that expect perfection and nothing else. I appreciate that in her! and I hope she never loses her little weird girl spark bc it does make her very dynamic! Her slightly gruff aussie girlness is very fun for me to see in the idolsphere bc it def feels out of place, but in a refreshing way...

so yeah. Idk if this was sensical, I was making dinner so I put my phone down a bunch and it's probably disjointed but thats my opinion... my thoughts, my ideas! Idk my take on them. Thanks for asking 🫡

[queer-n-here]

once again comin in with another meal to cook !!!

character of your choice ♡

stalker, obsessive and possessive reader (quite literally just yandere) seeing their SoulmateTM one day and just going full degenerate and doing everything in their power to learn more of their new lover, even getting rid of powerful foes or imaginary rival love interests for them. no one has any idea as to how they're able to do things no human or gifted can do. eventually, reader slowly comes in and orchestrates their first meeting and slowly woos their lover, but they have major issues on hiding their possessiveness and jealousy of others. lover can either a) be all for it and find it hot or b) lover is unsettled by it.

either way, after someone flirts with their lover, reader kind of snaps and after that person leaves, reader excuses themself and goes to absolutely maim the persom who dared to approach what was his. it's nighttime when reader is finished with them, and they come home to their lover who is worried, but becomes horrified at seeing all the blood covering reader. all reader can think about is claiming his lover, breeding him and imprinting himself so deep inside his lover that they'll always feel empty without him. (dubcon would be amazing)

~ 🕸

Oh my god 🕸️ bro 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Bruv this is so good, love you for this, and yeah, y'all I've recently started reading a shit ton of dubcon/noncon so yeah...

I did this one for Akutagawa, cuz I feel like this could work for a situation where the reader is in the Port Mafia.

Also,this one got really long, and I haven't posted in like two days, so I thought I'd make two parts, yknow? Read Pt. 2 here!

Contents: Yandere reader that stalks Akutagawa and plans out their first time meeting in person. Not that Akutagawa already knows reader's name since they both work for the Port Mafia, but that's about it.

Warnings: No smut in this part yet, top male reader, yandere tendencies, mentions of stalking, murder, ability user reader.

You had been watching Akutagawa ever since you joined the Port Mafia. In total, this is what three years of stalking and careful planning was gonna boil down to: this one opportunity.

You had planned it out meticulously, paid seventy eight people to be nearby and on the scene to prevent anything from going wrong.

A heroic rescue!

As you watched Akutagawa cut open those men with Rashomon, you couldn't help but smile. He was so precious, so brave, so beautiful, so-

You shook your head, forcing yourself to concentrate. You couldn't miss your cue. Akutagawa wasn't stupid. If you made half a mistake, he'd know what was up.

One of the men got too close to Akutagawa for your liking, and you pounced on the opportunity like a starving cat.

You dashed out of your hiding spot, your ability leaping out and cutting the man to the ground.

Akutagawa turned to look at you, surprised.

Some of the men halted, too. They hadn't thought that you would actually hurt one of them. Before it was too apparent, and before Akutagawa could notice the changes in their expressions, your ability flew out, covering the entire area. Soon, all the men but the one you were enamored with were lying on the ground in pieces.

"[Name]," Akutagawa said, frowning slightly. "Aren't you supposed to be responsible for the East block tonight?"

"I asked Higuchi to handle it." You shrugged seemingly casually, your hands in your pockets as you scanned Akutagawa's body for any injuries. "The weather is great tonight, so I thought I'd step out for a drink. And good thing I did, otherwise you would have been cut to pieces."

Akutagawa sulked slightly, no longer focusing on the reason behind your sudden appearance. "I could've handled it."

Of course he could've, he's literally perfect.

"Were these Guild's men?" Akutagawa looked around the bloody mess of bodies around you two.

"How would I know?" You placed your hands behind your head.

Akutagawa shrugged. "Whatever, they're dead now."

And so the night ended. You took Akutagawa back to his home, pretending to ask for directions, when in reality you had his address memorized. He tried to turn you down, saying that you were being paranoid, but you said you'd rather be safe than sorry.

When you reached the tall apartment building, you watched him step inside, waiting for the light to turn on in the window you knew was his before leaving.

Over the next few weeks, you orchestrated multiple meetings between you two, always appearing out of nowhere and going back to it. Slowly, Akutagawa opened up, and started trusting you.

Miraculously, you even got Mori to assign you and Akutagwa to the same area. It cost you it's worth; you had to help Mori convince Elise into some bullshit.

It wasn't long before you were sure Akutagawa had developed feelings for you. He was painfully easy to read; his cheeks would flush every time you got too close, you could sometimes feel his eyes following you as you moved around. Once, when you 'casually' playfully winked at him, and you swore you could hear his breath hitch.

But you waited. The perfect thing to seal the deal for you and Akutagawa would be a confession from him, and not from you.

There were times when you almost gave up on this thought, like that one time one of your clients found interest in Akutagawa. He was ugly as hell and nowhere close to Akutagawa, who shone brighter than the sun. You had to take care of him your own way afterwards, slitting open his insides in your secret warehouse and throwing his pieces away to the dogs.

That wasn't a first-time occurrence, nor was it the last, but you fought well to keep your cool as long as Akutagawa was around. You didn't want him to know that side of you.

That day, you had known something was up even before you saw Akutagawa. There was a funny feeling in your stomach, and you felt like something great was going to happen.

And it did.

"I... I really l-like you."

His words caught you off guard, and for a moment you almost punched yourself in the face to confirm whether it was a dream or reality. But you stopped yourself.

"Really?" Even as you spoke, your hands were already reaching for Akutagawa, pulling him closer to you.

He nodded, his entire face red.

A small broke through your face, and you kissed him, holding his waist in your hands.

It was finally happening. It was finally happening! Three years, four months, twenty-seven days, sixteen hours and forty-two minutes after you'd first laid eyes on this angelic man, you had finally kissed him!

It was a gentle kiss, despite the roaring in your head and all the urges to crush him into yourself. You nipped at Akutagawa's lips gently, making his breath hitch in that oh-so majestic way. He tasted like the best thing in the world, and you just couldn't get enough.

It was him who pulled away first, you wouldn't willingly part from those beautiful lips even if you suffocated to death. Staring at you with shining eyes and a shy little smile on his ethereal face, Akutagawa spoke.

"So... D'you... wanna be my boyfriend?"

Yes, yes, YES! A thousand times yes!

You nodded, pressing your forehead against his.

[rosesradio]

Hello! I saw that you were taking requests. Would you mind writing a Peter Parker x Reader fic where he is just absolutely head over heels and the reader just doesn't know. The two are good friends so when the reader needs a date for a destination wedding she asks Peter. Cue the classic tropes. ✨💕

hii, here you go !! 🫶 i put in all the best tropes, including friends to lovers, fake dating, only one bed, he fell first she fell harder…it’s a lot, and it was so fun to write. thanks for the request & reblogs are appreciated <3

my inbox is open, please read my pinned!

word count: 4,105

warnings: light swearing, some sexually suggestive jokes

The Wedding Date

"Hm," you hummed, pacing from one side of your living room to the other. In balancing out your racing train of thought, you had picked up the giant stuffed teddy bear that rested on your couch. "Hm, hm, hm..."

"Hm," Peter echoed, narrowing his eyes as he watched you, an amused smile tugging at his lips. "Can I ask what's bothering you, or am I gonna be left in the dark while you keep humming for another five minutes?"

"Ugh, I'm sorry," you sighed, forcing yourself to stand still and hug the giant bear to your chest. It was then that you remembered how you got this bear, Teddy, in the first place: Peter won it for you at a carnival. He must have played the stupid, rigged ring toss half a dozen times before he finally scored the big prize. He was such a gentleman, too, holding on to it while you got cotton candy for the both of you.

He was the most selfless person you knew. When you saw behind the Spider-Man mask after two years of knowing Peter, you weren't at all surprised; anyone else with his abilities would have given in to darker fantasies, though he had none.

If Peter was always so willing to be helpful, he could probably do you this tiny favor, right?

"I was just thinking," you started. "I got this wedding invitation recently from my friend, Lindsey—"

"A wedding?" Peter asked with raised brows. "On—on purpose?"

Noticing his smile, you rolled your eyes and flipped him the bird, unable to help but smile yourself. "I know, we're at that age—we're gonna get a ton of wedding invitations, and each one is gonna prompt some sort of crisis where we feel both too old and too young for any major milestone."

"Wow," Peter whistled. "That's so wise—are you seeing a therapist?" Without waiting for an answer to his rhetorical question, he continued: "You know, you could avoid a lot of crises if you just didn't have friends." He gestured to himself.

You looked at him incredulously. "You have me—and Ned. And MJ."

Peter hesitated. His brows furrowed, and he avoided your eyes. "Sure, but...I mean...you're not even close to getting married. You don't even have a boyfriend."

"Gee, thanks."

"Sorry," Peter cringed. "I didn't mean—"

"That's okay," you said. "You kinda have a point. That's actually what I've been contemplating. My plus one."

Peter's brows rose. "You need a wedding date."

You nodded. "I don't have to have one—and I'd ordinarily just say screw it and tell MJ to put on her best suit, but..." you shrugged, putting Teddy back down on the couch. "Lindsey is..." you sighed. "She means well, but she can be a bit...uppity about my love life? She always points out when I don't have a boyfriend, and it obviously makes me feel...well, like crap."

"Again, sorry," Peter said, grabbing Teddy and cuddling into him. It was honestly a cute picture—not that you would admit that to your best friend. "But you don't have to find a date to the wedding unless you really want one, you know? You shouldn't do anything just because of what other people are gonna think."

You smiled slightly. "Peter, you're starting to sound like an after-school special again." You paused. "But you have a point...I don't want the stress of finding some random guy for the wedding, and I can't bring just a friend..." you lit up. "So, I could make my own boyfriend! Peter, you're a boy, right?"

Peter laughed softly. "Last time I checked, yeah."

"Could you..." you started. "I mean, I don't want to take advantage. You're too kind for your own good sometimes. But, if you wanted to go to a beautiful destination wedding on a beach at Prince Edward Island..." you rocked on your feet from heel to toe. "You could maybe play the role of my fake boyfriend?"

Peter blinked, the smile not leaving his face, though his eyes appeared distant. "I don't know, y/n. That seems—"

"You're right," you shook your head. "It's not right of me to ask that—you need to be here because Spider-Man needs to be here. Forget I said anything. I'll figure something out. Maybe I'll download Tinder again..." although you tried not to, you made a face at the thought of plunging back into the cesspool.

Peter gave you a strange look, then, as if there were some sort of misunderstanding. You didn't like that—understanding social cues were a hit or miss, but communication with Peter was usually crystal clear.

"Wait," Peter shook his head with a sigh. "It's a beach wedding, right? At some point, they're probably gonna have popcorn shrimp..."

You smiled slightly. "Are you seriously thinking of going on a four hour plane ride there and back, pretending to be my boyfriend, and giving up your entire weekend just for...popcorn shrimp?"

"Yeah, of course," Peter nodded. "I've gone on trips and taken time away from being Spider-Man before. If anything really goes wrong, I can find my way back and try to help. Besides, I don't want this Lindsey girl to make you feel bad. I might not be the best looking stand-in boyfriend, but at least I'm here with fast and free shipping." He did some half-hearted jazz hands, though his smile was genuine.

"You're the best, Peter!" You sat down beside him, pulling him (and Teddy) into a hug. "And don't you dare talk bad about yourself. We're gonna go to that wedding with two missions—one, we're gonna make everyone jealous with what a cute fake couple we are. Two, we're gonna get you as much popcorn shrimp as you want."

"Sounds like a plan," Peter agreed, leaning his head against yours.

You could only hope that he really wanted to do this. You remembered all of those faux-sweet comments Lindsey would make about how she worried about you being alone. With Peter's help, you'd make even those newlyweds jealous, all the while making sure you and Peter had the times of your life on the trip.

———

The first bump in the road hit you when you arrived at the hotel room.

The flight there was nice; you and Peter watched movies and played games. In the last hour, you had drifted off to sleep leaning against Peter's shoulder. That was a little embarrassing to wake up to, but it was nothing that hadn't happened before.

This had never happened before.

"One bed," Peter commented blankly, though the surprise across his features was clear.

"You've gotta be kidding me," you huffed, dropping your bags down onto the massive bed. The place appeared pretty romantic, with a plush red duvet and a light dimmer. There was even a bucket of ice with a bottle of champagne, and—

"Chocolate dipped strawberries," you lit up, going over to the display and reading the adjoining card.

"Are we in the wrong room?" Peter asked. "'Cause I can go back down and—"

You shook your head, holding up the card with a smile. "For y/n and Peter, Compliments of Lindsey and Matt. You know, this doesn't surprise me at all. Lindsey's always had money, and she likes to keep up her appearances."

Peter narrowed his eyes, an amused smile tugging at his lips as he watched you eat one of the strawberries. "I'm still not sure if we're supposed to like Lindsey."

You shrugged. "She's got her flaws, but I like her. Almost as much as I like these strawberries. Almost." You offered him a strawberry, expecting him to take it. What you did not expect was for him to lean forward and take the strawberry with his mouth. Your face flushed, though you weren't sure why. You and Peter had done that with fries before, why were strawberries different? It was probably just the romantic vibe of the room, with the dimmed lights and the—

"So, the bed," you tried to distract yourself from that odd train of thought. "I can try to get a different room, but Lindsey might get wind of it and start asking questions...it's fine." You shook your head, offering Peter a smile. "I can just sleep on the floor."

Peter laughed. "You'd sleep on the floor? No way. This isn't like crashing at Ned's studio after a night out. This is a nice vacation. I'll take the floor."

"I don't want you on the floor," you protested.

"I don't think anyone wants either of us on the floor, that's why we're here fake-dating each other." Peter pointed out. He said the joke quickly, as if not thinking about it, and his cheeks grew pink.

You snickered. You knew Peter hated when he let the dirty jokes in his mind get ahead of him, but it was something that endeared you to him. He wasn't always Spider-Man the superhero, or Peter Parker, dressed like a Mormon to meet your parents for brunch. Sometimes he was almost...normal.

You knew more than anything that nothing could be normal for Peter.

You rolled your eyes and finally settled. "If it's not pushing any boundaries, maybe we could just...share the bed? If you promise not to sleep naked, I mean."

You don't know what prompted you to say that...or to picture it, though you quickly tried to dismiss it.

"Okay," Peter's voice was surprisingly soft at the suggestion. "I mean, just a couple hours ago you were drooling on my shoulder on the plane, so—"

"I said I was sorry!" You interjected, your own cheeks heating.

Peter grinned. "You know, I think I brought my nightgown in case this exact thing—" the rest of his smartass reply was cut off as you pushed a pillow into his face, only able to hear a muffled laugh.

———

You were too focused on your own breathing. It was unnatural.

You rolled over to see the clock on Peter's side. 12:54 AM. You huffed, trying to nuzzle into your pillow. You'd had a couple glasses of champagne with Peter, which typically would have put you to sleep as soon as your head hit the pillow, but...

But...

"Can't sleep?"

Peter's voice was soft and low with sleep, though not so much so that you worried you had woken him. You couldn't see him in the dark, though you could picture him—tussled brown hair, his baggy I Survived NYC shirt wrinkled against the sheets.

You always took notice of him in the mornings—when you spent the night at his place or vice versa, and he'd make you both waffles. You could appreciate a gesture from a friend, but in those strange moments, he seemed almost like a boyfriend.

"No," you replied. "Not used to the space, I guess."

Peter nodded—you could hear it against the sheets in the darkness. "I get that—'m living the dream, though. Couldn't tell you the last time I had a girl in my bed."

"Gross," you jabbed him in the ribs, and you smiled at the sound of his snicker. "In your dreams, Parker."

"Yeah, yeah," Peter murmured. "I do kinda miss it, though. I don't have a lot of...experience, but that's not what I'm thinking about..."

In that moment, you were sure Peter was talking some half-asleep nonsense. You were tempted to ask him some silly questions, like what his dream blunt rotation would be, or what his social security number was.

Instead, you pressed on, curious. "What are you thinking about, then?"

"Mm," Peter hummed, hesitant even in this careless state. "Just...being in bed with someone, holding them close, feeling 'em breathe. Knowing that you're keeping them safe. Knowing they want you there, that you're not a screwup..."

Something in Peter's tone made your eyes sting. "You're nowhere near a screwup. You're a hero."

"I know..." he let out a soft breath, though something in it sounded heavy.

"I was friends with you before I knew about that, anyway," you pointed out. "Because you're more than a hero. You're Peter. That matters so much more than anything else you do. Anybody would be lucky to be in bed with you...even if you have the dirty mind of a teen about it." You grinned.

Peter let out another breath, this one of laughter. A comfortable silence spanned between the pair of you.

It was silent for so long, you thought Peter had fallen asleep.

"Do you," he started, and you listened curiously. "Would you be okay with maybe cuddling with me? We've done it on the couch with movies, but I know this is different, so..."

"Yeah," you replied in agreement. "I mean, um—yeah, of course, that's fine..."

Slowly, a little awkwardly in the dark, Peter reached out, his fingertips delicate against your skin as he sought you out. He found your forearm first, reaching up and tracing along the palm of your hand.

"Sorry," his voice seemed much more awake now, much more aware. "If you could maybe just..."

You nodded even though he couldn't see you in the dark. You rolled onto your other side, facing away from him as you pushed back against him. You felt the warmth of his chest against your back, the feeling all-too-overwhelming. The feeling increased tenfold when, all implications disregarded, Peter wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you close against him. You could feel the warmth of his breath against the crook of your neck.

You couldn't remember the last time you had been in bed with someone like this.

You let out a soft, shaky breath of your own, trying to calm the sudden bout of nervous butterflies in your stomach that now fluttered with no bounds. Strangely enough, that feeling only lasted for a moment. The last thing you remember was the feeling of Peter's thigh moving against yours, wrapping you closer in the embrace. It was then that comfort overwhelmed you, and you found yourself drifting off to sleep easier than ever before.

———

The morning light was bright despite the blinds, waking you up as you hummed in protest.

You and Peter were still cuddled close together, though the embrace had lost all structure. His leg was slung over your waist, his hand somehow cupping the side of your face. He was nuzzled between your shoulder blades, letting out warm breaths against your skin that woke you up far more than the brightness.

"Peter," your voice was low in your drowsiness. You rolled away before stretching. "You were a second away from putting me in a headlock..."

"Mm," Peter hummed. "Sorry..." he yawned, blinking as he processed what was going on. Something then seemed to click within him, and he stiffened like a deer in headlights. "Shit, sorry!" He repeated, his cheeks flushing. "Man, I didn't mean to do that..."

"It's okay," you insisted. "Why are you all jumpy? What, were you worried about your super-strength or something?"

"Oh, uh," Peter avoided your eyes. "Yeah, that's exactly it—I mean, I could crush a watermelon between my thighs without even worrying—without even thinking about it, so..." he lifted his arm up to flex, which you glanced at with raised brows. He was no Captain America, but he was built well enough.

"Okay," you said slowly. Realization then dawned on you, and you sighed, your cheeks heating. “Is it that we, like, cuddled last night? Because that didn't have to mean anything—we both just like cuddling."

"Sure," Peter nodded. "I mean, I cuddled with Ned all the time in high school, but..."

"But?" You inquired.

"No but!" Peter shook his head. "No but at all, an absolute flat-ass situation..." he paused to catch his breath before nodding, his mouth pressed in a thin line. "I'm gonna go get ready."

He then went and locked himself in the bathroom. You looked at the door, then over to the closet where his clothes were, wondering what the heck had gotten into Peter.

———

Luckily, Peter seemed calmed down by the reception. The ceremony must have bored him; he kept glancing at you the entire time, as well as shaking his leg until you put a hand on his knee to still him.

Despite the social atmosphere, Peter seemed to open up more. After the first few times of introducing himself as "y/n's boyfriend", the obvious looks in your direction slowed to a stop. That did not stop his awkwardness, though. As endeared as you were to him, you were glad he never had to do any acting to save the world.

"Excuse me," a small voice piped up. It wasn't the umpteenth elderly couple doing their rounds of greetings, but instead a little girl of about six years old. She wore a pastel pink dress and small matching heels.

"Oh, hi," you smiled at the little girl. "You were the flower girl—Katie, right?"

Katie nodded. "I wanted a dance." She looked over at Peter, then back at you. "Mind if I take him for a spin?"

You nearly snorted. "Oh, sure—what do you think, Peter?"

Peter seemed to be trying to tone down his amused smile. "I'd be honored, Katie." He took her hand and allowed her to lead him to the floor.

As you ate—the shrimp here being unfortunately coconut, not popcorn—you watched them dance. She was standing on top of his shoes, and he seemed to be masking the pain from the jabbing of her tiny heels. As he smiled and chatted with her, you couldn't help but smile as well. Peter was good with kids—you wondered if that came from being Spider-Man, or just being Peter.

When the song was over, Katie curtsied and Peter bowed in turn, as if they were at a ball. Peter returned to the table beaming, and for some reason, it made your heart catch in your chest. You felt as if you wanted to say something, though you weren't sure what, or if you were allowed to.

Just as you opened your mouth to say something, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around to see Lindsey, who was practically glowing with excitement in her cream-colored reception gown.

"Hey!" You gave her a hug. "Wow, you look gorgeous. Congratulations!"

"Thank you," Lindsey swept a black, curly strand of hair from her face. "And you do too! Is this," she gestured to Peter. "Is this your plus one? I saw him dancing with Katie, it was adorable!"

Peter nodded. "I'm y/n's boyfriend," he stood to shake her hand, then her new husband's. "Peter."

"It's so nice to meet you, Peter," Lindsey replied. "I didn't think y/n was seeing anyone, but she never lets me get too nosy. I was worried about her for a little bit, though!" She laughed.

Peter gave you a look, as if some of your previous description of her was clicking into place.

"We've been together for a little while," Peter shrugged, fixing Lindsey with a curious look. "Nine months, right, babe?" He glanced back at you and smiled, his gaze warm. "It feels like it's been years, but also a few great days."

For a moment, you sat in stunned silence, unsure of how to respond. His acting was so real; he seemed utterly infatuated.

Lindsey gasped softly, placing a hand on her heart. "That's exactly how I feel with my husband. Well, how'd you two meet?"

"Um," Peter started with a slight smile. "We were at this bagel place on 76th, and I was ordering my usual—"

"An everything bagel," you added out of habit. "With plain cream cheese, smushed down really flat, like a weirdo."

"Exactly," Peter laughed. "And you said that, too, remember? I remember you scoffed, and when I asked, you said that only a weirdo would want a bagel that was...what was it? Looked like it was ran over?"

"I had a point," you replied. "And you asked me what I liked, since I was such an expert in all things bagel. So I got my—"

"Blueberry bagel," Peter recalled. "Strawberry cream cheese, plus you paid extra for assorted fruit on top, like an absolute princess."

You grinned. "But you paid for mine...and you walked me to the subway, like a gentleman, while I spent the entire time roasting you on your food preferences."

"And then I offered to take her to dinner," Peter looked up at Lindsey. "I said that I knew this great pizza place, and if she wasn't blown away, I'd cover her bill. Turns out she was blown away, as expected," he met your eyes with a smile, reaching over and grabbing your hand. "But I paid, anyway. It was worth it times a thousand to get to know her..."

You squeezed his hand, and in that moment, you felt as if something were squeezing your heart, too. The way he talked about it made it sound so romantic...but, of course, neither of you mentioned the fact that his friends were at the dinner. That you had asked for it to not be a date, because you had been stood up a few nights before and were not feeling the dating scene. It was a friend thing, and at that dinner your friend status was cemented.

You never thought you wanted anything else, but...

"Excuse me," Peter's voice brought you back to reality. He smiled thinly at both you and Lindsey before standing and starting for the exit.

Perhaps he just needed to use the restroom down the hall, but something about his exit seemed...swift. Offering a smile to Lindsey as well, you followed in Peter's steps.

When you finally found him, he had a hand over his eyes, his face flushed as he tried to steady his breathing.

You felt as if you'd walked in on something you shouldn't have—or perhaps you needed to.

"Peter?" You asked softly.

Peter nearly jumped, looking at you before making a pointed effort not to do so. "Hey! Hey...y/n...I'm alright. Just...taking a second to—"

"Cry?" You asked, the word slipping out before you could think about it, and you slapped a hand over your mouth.

Peter laughed. You rushed through surprise, relief, and concern so fast, you had whiplash.

"Yeah," Peter admitted with a sigh. "I'm...not alright. But I'm trying to be. Just...go enjoy the reception, don't let me ruin it."

You shook your head. "That story...it was how we met, but you made it sound romantic."

Peter nodded. "I thought that was what we were supposed to do."

You swallowed. "It sounded really convincing. You...you like me, don't you, Peter?"

Peter seemed laser-focused on the sleeve of his suit. "How could I not, y/n?" He settled. "You're beautiful, you're fun in the same weird way I am, and you have no idea when someone's into you—you're exactly my type. But...I mean, I was trying so hard not to be that guy. You know, the 'be my girlfriend or I'll never talk to you again' guy? I can't do that—not to you, and not to myself. I want you in my life in whatever way I can have you, even if it kills me, because you're really important to me. And if you don't want to talk to me again, I understand, I won't push—"

His words faltered into silence as you reached out and held his hand.

"I like you, too, Peter. I don't think I realized it until now, but..." You started to smile. "You're one of my favorite people in the world. You’re already a great friend, so I'd love to be your girlfriend."

Peter seemed incredulous, though a moment later, his uncertain smile grew until he was fully beaming. His smile was contagious, and you couldn't help but smile as well. You went in for a hug, and he in turn lifted you, spinning you around as if you were in a romcom.

"So," Peter started. "Do you wanna go back in there and turn up the charm now that we're a real couple?"

You pondered the idea for about a half a second before shaking your head. "Screw those guys." You said. "You wanna get out of here? I bet we could find a good ice cream place."

"Sounds good to me," Peter replied, offering you a fist to bump. "Let's go to the room and get changed into some comfier clothes."

As he started towards the stairs, you reached for his hand, your heart skipping a beat as he squeezed your hand gently. You didn't want to rush things, though you wondered...perhaps when you got up to the room, you could kiss him. Perhaps, if he were interested—and while that romantic room was on someone else's bill—you could do a little bit more.

[infinitywrites]

I Didn't Expect You Part 2 ~ Conrad Fisher

(Part 1) (Masterlist) (Part 3)

gif credit @madscline

synopsis: Y/N never expected it to be the summer that everything changed. Conrad, Belly and Steven were all dealing with the consequences of recent break ups whiles Jeremiah's wasn't acting like himself. Susannah was undergoing treatment that provided unpredictable health results and kept her loved ones on the edge of tragedy. Had they drained the well of the magic of Cousin's beach? Or could something new fulfil it again?

warnings: multichapter slow burn, warnings will update with every chapter, timeline is both POST S2 and a retelling of S2 with changes, everyone swears, Laurel/Cleveland, Susannah is sick, otherwise lots of fluff in this one

word count: 4,434

___________________________________________

I just wanna know you better,

know you better, know you better now

All I know since yesterday is

Everything has changed

After I snuck in a power nap after unpacking with Belly, I headed down to the kitchen to check on the plan for dinner. I'd always looked forward to visiting Cousin's to taste Susannah's Pinterest recipe of the month. I shouldn't have been surprised to see Jeremiah at the stove stirring something aromatic, warming the kitchen up. "Well, look who's taken up the mantle of vacation cook." I teased and patted his back lightly after a quick peek over his shoulder at the sauce simmering.

"Not just vacation cook, either. Just wait, I've gotten a lot better in a year." Jere smiled through his intense focus and turned his head towards Laurel sitting at the island. "I'm ready for the carrots now, Laur."

As she dumped the shredded carrots into the sauce, she assured me when I sent a raised brow her way, "Don't worry, I'm just helping with prep. Cleveland is actually looking forward to impressing you all with his culinary skills so Jeremiah can actually enjoy his summer."

Jeremiah never took his eyes off the pot, "I told you, I'm into this now. Maybe I'm destined to be a famous chef!"

"You just had to add 'famous' in there, didn't you." Conrad turned the corner into the kitchen and flicked his brother in the ear. Jeremiah smacked his hand away as they both snorted a laugh.

"What can I say? I dream big!"

My hands found my hips without even noticing, "I'm really proud of you, Jere. It smells incredible. No thanks to Conrad." I shot my glare directly at him when his name left my lips.

He'd lifted two grocery bags onto the counter by the sink and was starting to unload vegetables when he scoffed. "Hey! I went all the way to the farmer's market to get stuff for the salad, if you must know. Actually make yourself useful and chop these." He tossed me a cucumber and a pepper before I could tell him that's the exact reason I came down in the first place. I got distracted by my own thoughts when he threw a big tomato that should have splattered all over the floor if not for sheer dumb luck. Conrad paused and mimicked throwing a radish bunch before I stared him down mouthing 'don't you dare'. When he finished washing the lettuce, he slid next to me at the island and pulled out the salad spinner.

Luckily there weren't any more shenanigans as we all worked together to finish the pasta, salad and fresh garlic baguette that Jeremiah swore was an elevated form of garlic bread he'd learned about from Top Chef. Conrad pointed out that he was surprised he picked anything useful up while watching Padma Lakshmi. Eventually Belly and Steven joined as a clean up crew, while Laurel set the table just like Susannah used to have it done up. Cleveland complimented Jeremiah's hard work and thanked Conrad for the quick surfing lesson before he'd tested his limits that afternoon. When everything was ready, Laurel went to get Susannah and the room was in a standstill. The anticipation was suffocating. It wasn't until Belly reached out and grabbed my hand that I realized I was holding my breath.

Susannah walked slowly, supported gently by her elbows by Laurel, with her signature bright grin for everyone in the room. She looked both better and worse than I'd seen her last. It was incredible what a sunny disposition could do and Susannah was the best at it seconded only by Jeremiah, with her sparkling blue eyes. The build up released into an awkward tension for exactly three seconds before Susannah sighed, "I can't believe you guys let me sleep all the way until dinner. Who's sneaky idea was that?" Her eyes scanned the room while Laurel chuckled by her side.

"That was all big brother over here, Mom. We wanted to surprise you!" Jeremiah smacked his brother in the chest as Conrad hung his head waiting for his mother's reaction.

"We had everything under control, Mom." He said and I glanced his way, taking in the new information until Conrad caught my eye and I looked back at Susannah in a flash. I kinda felt bad for giving him shit after hearing that.

"Of course you did, sweet boy, but I'm feeling good and next time I want a chance to order everyone around the kitchen." Laurel sat Susannah down at the head of the table while Jeremiah got to work fixing her a plate.

Cleveland, Conrad and Steven grabbed the various serving dishes and took their seats while I heard Steven yell back, "You got it, Susannah. I'm not going the whole summer without your jambalaya."

Dinner went smoothly after that. Susannah's spirit was as full as her energy when she focused on catching up with everyone around the table. Everyone complimented Jeremiah's culinary progress and Cleveland joined him in plans to treat everyone to a weekend feast before we all parted ways. Steven even talked a little bit about his breakup with Shayla and I reached over to give his hand a quick squeeze when his mouth turned down at the corners. Laurel got quiet before she admitted she couldn't believe how grown up Steven had gotten all of a sudden. The mood lightened a bit when he rolled his eyes and teased her for making his breakup about her empty nest syndrome.

Steven had been my best friend as long as I'd been staying at Cousin's over the past eight summers or so. Mom said it gave me a necessary break from the monotony of her condition and when Auntie Laur split from Uncle John, she said they needed me more than she did. Steven's breakup with Shayla happened before Prom at least and he seemed more angry than hurt after he talked to her the last time. Long distance was hard and she wasn't planning on coming back before Steven was headed to Princeton anyway. It was what was best for both of them and he knew it too. I tried to lift his mood after he got his Princeton acceptance a few weeks later by reminding him that he would have hated being tied down freshman year. Now he could charm his way around campus all he wanted without feeling a lick of guilt. This got the first smile out of him I'd seen since his Prom photos. He'd made the most of that night at least.

Jeremiah seemed to have the same idea and said, "This is exactly what you want though, Steve-O. No strings. No commitments. Focus on school…and Jersey girls." He really wasn't as slick as he thought when he put a hand up to direct the last part away from the parents. Conrad and Steven still shrugged and chuckled amongst themselves like he'd had a point.

"All right. New topic. I know you're dying to ask Y/N about Stanford and this is your moment." Laurel waved her hand to both shut Jeremiah up and encourage Susannah at the same time.

She put her hands down on the table for emphasis as her gaze narrowed in on me, "I can't believe you're going to Stanford in the fall. It's so exciting!"

"I'm glad you approve." I couldn't help but let the smile stretch my face at her joy.

"Approval, are you kidding? My little California twin." Susannah winked in my direction and I could have sworn I saw Conrad watching the scene play out.

"You can take the girl out of Cali but you can't take the Cali out of the girl." Laurel sing-songed as she finished her glass of wine.

"Why you gotta be so lame about it, Laur?" Susannah's shoulders dropped and she sent an exasperated look to her lifelong friend.

When Susannah got like this it always made us laugh and this time it was no different. Sometimes the only adult in the room was Laurel so at least she had Cleveland around, who was just listening attentively and taking in the group dynamics.

Laurel looked shocked for a second and cut back, "You're the one who–All right," and huffed in defeat before she turned back to me. "I'm excited for you too, Y/N. Beck's right, a change of scenery and a fresh start is an incredible opportunity at your age wherever you go."

Jeremiah was looking at Conrad when he said, "Summer everyday sounds pretty good to me," and punched his brother's arm which made me furrow my brow in confusion.

Susannah glanced their way with a mischievous look, "You know, I always told Conrad he'd find himself in the West coast."

Conrad looked at them both,"Subtle, mom."

"Well, if you aren't going to tell them–"

My jaw must have been on the floor as I gaped at him. "Wait, you're–"

"I'm waiting on late admission offers. Mom convinced me to apply over Christmas break." He shrugged it off like it wasn't a big deal but everyone knew the meltdown I'd had at the end of last summer trying to perfect my Stanford application.

Belly added with a teasing tone, "He made me proofread his essay like five times."

"Yeah, me too," Cleveland pointed at him and shook his head.

"OhmiGod, did everyone know but me? The person already going?" Steven looked scared as he swore he didn't so I looked around the table in disbelief and finally landed on Belly, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Don't look at me! I told him to tell you." Belly raised her palms in surrender.

My eyes went back to Conrad who's smile just grew, "It's a big campus. We don't have to see each other." He shrugged again and dove into his second helping of pasta.

My face dropped as I rolled my eyes and swore to ignore him for the rest of the night. Susannah sighed and caught my eye, "Don't listen to him, Y/N. He's terrified of moving so far away from his mommy–"

"Hey!" Conrad tried to interrupt but he was laughing almost immediately when he heard Steven and Jeremiah break.

Susannah continued despite his protest and the howling in the background, "so I'm putting you in charge of him. I wanna see you both back at Christmas with the best tans of your life."

Jeremiah was dying and hitting his brother in the chest, "Okay, but is she wrong though?"

"Fuck you, bro. You still live with her!"

Jeremiah sobered long enough to utter, "And I cherish every second." He blew his mother a kiss like the charmer he always was and Susannah smiled stretched a little further.

When the boys finally settled down, it was time for dessert that Conrad had picked up from the market and snuck into the fridge without my knowledge at least. Strawberry shortcake; one of Susannah's favourites and we all assured her that while it was decadent, it still wasn't as good as her recipe. After the cake was polished off, I ran upstairs to slip into my swimsuit and coverup dress in case I felt like a dip in the pool once the food settled. A few of us tried to offer our help to Cleveland but he insisted that he had a clean up ritual he really enjoyed as long as we gave him the space to do so. He said it was a thank you to everyone for the meal and the invitation.

Conrad came up behind him and patted him on the chest, "I was just an errand boy and didn't know you were coming so have at it, boss!" And exited quickly out the backdoor, already pulling a joint out of his pocket.

Steven's eyes followed him even as Jeremiah was trying to make plans to head down to the beach for the bonfire. "Uh, yeah man. I'm down. Gimme a second to change and I'll meet you out front." Steven nodded in his direction as Jeremiah agreed and headed for the door.

"Yeah, thanks for the invite and everything but I no longer have the energy or the patience for bonfire party bullshit." I teased in Steven's direction, who was still staring out the backdoor.

When he finally looked my way again, he looked sheepish, "Yeah, yeah. I was gonna invite you but I figured as much. It was never really your scene."

"You know me well. Have fun though, seriously." I was about to walk away when Steven asked me to wait.

"Hey, do you think you could talk to Conrad?"

There's nothing he could have said that would have shocked me less. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, I know. It's weird but…he's been off since we got here and Jere said longer. I don't know if it's Belly or just Susannah stuff but…"

"Did you hear him at dinner? What makes you think he wants to talk to me?"

Steven gives me a look like it's the stupidest thing I could have asked him so I concede. "Okay, whatever. Other than my family shit."

"You've always been the person who makes me feel better when…-like with Shayla. I think, no, I know he needs some of that right now." Steven always had the most effective puppy dog eyes. I was too weak to resist.

"I guess…I can try." I moved my gaze to a dark figure sat by the pool and started mentally preparing myself.

He started to back away but wouldn't take his eyes off me until he saw me heading outside. "Yes! You're amazing. I owe you, for sure."

I spat over my shoulder, "You think?"

"Okay, now. Before Jere leaves without me."

"Jeez, I'm going." Steven watched as I opened the sliding door and mouthed his thank you before jogging back upstairs to get ready for the bonfire.

The sun was almost down and the pool lights lit up the yard as the smoke wafted from the shadowed figure sitting on the edge. I rolled my eyes at my own apprehension and took a seat beside him before I lost my nerve entirely. The water was just cool enough to make the summer heat bearable for more than a few minutes.

"What's up?" He didn't look my way, occupied with his ritual.

I decided to start casually and try to work up to the kind of talk Steven was expecting. I still wasn't convinced that Conrad would be open to talking at all let alone to me. "Steven and Jere are headed to the bonfire soon. I wasn't sure if they told you."

He nodded. "You're not going?"

"No, the day was long enough. I came out here to stop myself from falling asleep on the couch." I kicked my feet in the water and debated splashing him.

"So much for Belly's power naps." He chuckled and finally glanced in my direction.

"Whatever, they work for her but I'm the one who drove us here." I shrugged.

There was a beat of silence before I pressed again. "What about you? Why aren't you going?"

"Same as you. Tired."

I tried not to let myself get too frustrated by his lack of response. It was weird behaviour from him though, "Hm."

That caught his attention again, "What?"

"Nothing. It's just, we know the bonfire was never my scene but you always went."

"And now I've accepted that it's not my scene either." There was an edge to his voice that told me to drop it.

"Fair enough… I was uh, I was gonna swim." I probably should have jumped in and splashed the shit out of him but there was an uneasiness that got to me.

"Okay. Don't mind me."

I stripped down to my one piece and kicked my dress and sandals a few feet away before driving in. The water really was the perfect temperature to be refreshing after the heat and stress of a long day. It felt good to stretch my limbs and work the muscles that no doubt were starting to cramp from driving for hours and falling asleep in an awkward position. Everytime I looked up, Conrad's eyes were on me and I struggled between meeting them for a few seconds before I realized he wouldn't be the first to look away. Belly had told me once that Conrad was confident in a way she'd never seen before. Shameless even, when he looked at her sometimes and she worried she'd never feel butterflies like that again. That same look intimidated other guys and coined him 'the mysterious type' around the Cousin's beach crowd. Belly said as she grew up, she'd hold his gaze longer and longer to test her theory and never saw him break concentration before her heart felt like it would beat right out of her chest. I had no intention of testing said theory and redirected my breaststroke in the opposite direction.

His joint getting smaller was the only real indicator that time was passing at all. The smell was annoying, of course, but it seemed to be wafting above me so I could admire the look of it dissipating into nothing instead. It was probably half an hour later, Conrad still perched on the pool's edge, when I climbed up the ladder, towelled off and sat back down beside him.

I looked at him, blowing smoke out over the pool water again, "Okay seriously, why didn't you tell me?"

He wouldn't look at me now, like he was sick of the sight but he still knew what I meant. "Do you own the school now?"

It didn't take much to deadpan my response. "You're funny."

He tried again. "So what? We tell each other things now?"

"When they directly impact each other's lives? Sure we do." I decided to let him get out whatever snark he needed before I got a real answer. This wouldn't turn into another stupid fight; we were too old for that shit now.

He narrowed his eyes in my direction. "You know I don't owe you anything just because we could be at the same school and living in the same state, right?"

And all of a sudden the plan went out the window and Steven would just have to accept that I tried and failed. "Okay, Conrad…" I got up to leave and went to bring my things inside.

"No, wait! I'm sorry. I–I dunno why I'm being such a dick."

I paused with an armful and hadn't decided yet if I wanted to listen to him. "Probably because you're so good at it."

"Okay, I'm sorry. Honestly. Belly was right, I should have told you when I applied. I just…I thought it might piss you off."

That made me turn to look his way, his head hung between his shoulders and his face lit up light blue and sullen as ever. "Since when do you care if you piss me off?"

"Now! Now, I do. With this. I didn't want you to think I was encroaching on your thing or following you or something. My mom's been talking to me about going to Cali since the beginning of high school but I never really thought–not with everything that happened."

The mask seemed to be gone now and that was the only reason I sighed and sat back down. Maybe Steven was right; maybe Conrad wanted to talk in his Conrad way. "I didn't think you were following me. Or encroaching. I just didn't expect you to wanna leave right now so I was even more surprised to hear it at all."

"I don't but…" It was like he was losing his words or thoughts halfway into getting them out. Maybe it was the weed going to his head. "I shouldn't have taken it out on you. Of course we would see each other at school. You know, if you want to. It's nice to know we wouldn't have to figure everything out alone there, right? It's exciting." He sounded sincere until he mocked the excitement.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah…and Jere's right too. I'm worried about being so far away from Mom."

"She seems really excited for you. You're giving her what she wants, you know."

"I know, I'm just used to being an hour away at Brown and that was bad enough. Let alone six and that's just the flight." He got worked up by the thought alone and my heart clenched in my chest for him. I knew that feeling. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Conrad took a moment to collect his thoughts before he let out a deep breath. "You've come here every summer for years and you're away from your mom for so long. How do you…?"

I audibly sighed and started chuckling at myself before I could stop it, "Is it a cop out if I say practice? No, that's partly true. It gets easier and it helps that I know my dad is dedicated to taking care of her. And when I'm there there's nothing I can really do to help. I think that's the worst part actually. Sorry, I–"

"No, I asked."

I looked at him then and it was one of the few times I knew he was really listening to me. "A few years ago, I think I was 13, I begged my mom to let me stay home that summer. It was really bad for a little bit before and I just thought, what if I miss it? What if I'm not there? She said I was grasping for control I never really had. I was trying to pause my life for something inevitable. And not only was that not fair to myself but it wasn't fair to her either."

His eyes fell as he nodded and then flashed a small smile, "The moms must be conspiring behind our backs because that sounds suspiciously like what Mama Beck Fisher said about Stanford. Do the thing that scares you. That's how you really live."

I laughed a little at the sentiment. "Sounds like you got a cooler version at least."

"It's not like I didn't know about your mom but…I don't think I ever realized–"

"It's okay, Conrad." I shook my head, wanting to avoid that line of thought.

"You just seem so together all the time." I could feel his direct gaze when he said it even when I wanted to laugh in his face.

"I'm not, I just…when it comes to Susannah I feel like I've done this before. Been here. The worst fucking kind of familiarity. I don't even know what that has to do with anything, I just think I don't feel it yet. Not really. God, does that make me horrible?"

Conrad immediately shook his head in reassurance as I took a steading breath. "No. I don't think so, anyway. I think it'll catch up to you but…would you promise you'll tell me if– if you wanna to talk about it ever? You know if Steve-O or Belly aren't around. I dunno, maybe it'd help me to be there for someone else, you know?"

I turned my head to gape at him for the second time that night but he wasn't looking back at me this time. He was inhaling the smoke and blowing it over the pool again like he'd been doing for over an hour now. "Yeah sure."

He nodded once and put it out on the concrete and then away in his pocket before he lifted himself up.

I had to ask before he walked away, "Hey, Con?" I didn't continue until he turned a bit to acknowledge me. "Stanford is what you want too, right? It's not just for Susannah?"

A smile grew across his face, "You think I would've put myself through that brutal application process if I didn't?"

I coughed a laugh at his quick mood change, "That's right. I forgot about those ten proofreads."

He shook his head in amusement, "Exaggeration. Besides, I might as well follow my built-in babysitter."

"Fucking hell…" I winced as my head hung between my shoulders this time.

"Can't take it back now! Mama's boy like me, I'll never make it on my own!"

"I never agreed to that!" I said louder than I meant to in my frustration. It had been dark for a while even though I had no idea what time it was. "Would you keep it down?!?"

Conrad opened the sliding door and scolded, "Shh Y/N, the neighbours!"

I was left with the usual exasperation that was signature oldest Fisher and everything felt right in the world again. Well kinda. It should satisfy Steven anyway and I could mark it off as my good deed of the week. I looked out over the view and thought about the strange connection you had with the Fishers now. My mom had had MS for as long as I could remember and the constant state of grief in my house growing up was as normal as anything else in my life. Everyday was clouded with some difficulty, old or new, and the only real reprieve was summer with my cousins at Susannah's beach house. I could be a different person there who no one really knew outside my family, Fishers included. I'd even heard the whispers of my quiet, closed off nature and it always put a smirk on my face. It was like a fresh start at the end of every school year even if I didn't change at all. I could pretend for a few months that I was a normal girl who's biggest problem was my baby cousin's unrequited crush on an unattainable older jock, my sad lack of crush to obsess over instead and my best friend's tendency to get himself into trouble without ever trying.

A yawn pulled me from my thoughts and I gathered my things and climbed the stairs towards the quiet upstairs. I heard the shower running but didn't think anything of it as I passed the bathroom until the door swung open and the yellow light hit my peripheral vision. I looked right at Conrad walking across the hall to his room. He was noticeably wet-skinned and sauntering in a pair of boxers. The moment lasted a second before my eyes caught his trailing down and then back up to my eyes as he ruffled his wet hair with a towel. And then the door was shut and I turned away and shook my head to rattle my brain awake enough to make it to my bed in one piece. There was no counting for the ways in which the first night at Cousin's beach could mess with my head.

Next

___________________________________________

author's note: I'm blown away by the response and hope this next chapter lived up to expectations! Thank you so much for the support 🩵💙💚💛. I meant to get into the 4th of July party in this part but it got away from me so that's up next! Do the changes make sense? Y/N's backstory? More explanation is coming but please let me know if anything is too confusing to follow. Reply with comments and let me know if you wanna be added to my taglist. If you'd like to ask me about any upcoming chapter warnings you wanna be warned of ahead of time (angst? 18+ smut?) then come visit my blog with any questions and I'll be happy to answer!

taglist: @c4rpediem-s @jackierose902109 @lcvecstiel @h0t-as-h3ll @fandom-addict404

[reading-stains]

soukoku fics: recs and reviews

look, i really like fanfiction. and i've always felt people sometimes don't give good enough reasons to actually read a lot of it. if you scroll down enough, you'll see i did that too. so i thought i'd help out some people that don't know what to read tonight. you'll notice i took my reviewing seriously hgdsafvkhagsv i'll add more in my reblogs as i go on with this review style, but for now, here are three fanfics that pushed me to do this. fair warning, they're long ones.

A Lesson in Thorns by arkastadt

Word Count: 454,556

Tags: Arranged Marriage, BSD Beast!AU, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Character Death, Heavy Angst, Happy Ending, Ghosts, So Much Smut

Review:

As one of the longest fics I’ve ever read, it took me three days to read it, and a lot of lost sleep. A Lesson in Thorns is a journey that no one is truly prepared for. It’s surprising, I think, how one only notices the slow burn in the beginning, and forget they didn’t start out together in the end. So many things happen in the span of those fifty chapters, and so many feelings arise alongside their events. The reader watches Chuuya grow into himself, despite the haunting (hehe) that surrounds him by the end. Dazai becomes a man wishing to live, despite becoming a ghost of who he used to be. It’s quite magical, the way the story builds upon itself. What is usually some home, this piece makes an empire. 

This author appealed a lot to the wants and needs within these characters, making a paced build up to the challenges the characters face. Furthermore, there is a wonderful line of thought that is unwavering, consistent to the very end. The reader meets Chuuya getting ready to be married. A deal has been struck with the Port Mafia, and as the leader of the Sheep, Chuuya must marry their boss. A questionable and confusing task, but Chuuya has no more cards under his sleeve, and he has to save Shirase from the pending prison sentence. He walks into where he is to be married, looking to find a wrinkled, aging man. Instead, he faces the bandaged limbs and cunning eye of Dazai Osamu, and the story truly begins. 

The reader already knows it’s not a choice left for random that Dazai takes Chuuya under his wing. It’s already stated that on the first day in his position as the boss, right after killing Mori and sixteen months before he and Chuuya marry, he finds the redhead. A search that is broken down as the story unravels, and an effort that builds them and breaks them apart and puts them back together. 

This fanfic is clearly derived from a lot of the factors pointed in Bungou Stray Dogs’s BEAST light novel, which in my eyes makes it all the more interesting. I tried to give a short insight into the beginning with as much care as I could without creating any spoilers for the reading. I guess from me, all my notes just say it’s worth it. This fic really drags you through so many stages of feelings and excitements, and it builds off from them until you reach a new peak all over again. 

On Deathless Feet by AbsoluteNegation

Word Count: 71,848

Tags: Caretaking, Controlling Arahabaki, Canon-Divergence, Port Mafia and Post-Port Mafia, Smut

Review:

There are some stories that find themselves tucked into a hidden corner. It does not make them any less, and it does not make them any better, it just makes them quiet. Which in turn, when they are finally found, makes them all the more surprising. That is how I feel about On Deathless Feet, tucked in a corner of Ao3, and all incredibly surprising. 

Written with a nonlinear narrative, the reader meets the famed Double Black in different moments, recently met, in the middle of their rise through the ranks, at the brink of their end, after their disconnection with years of silence. AbsoluteNegation makes a wonderful story threaded in different moments, contextualizing their uncomfortable return to each other with interruptions back to their old lives before Dazai’s split from the Port Mafia. The author mainly focuses on Arahabaki, and Chuuya’s relationship with understanding the singularity as it slips out of control. Dazai is sent in to help counter it throughout their time together, and long stretches of contact are needed to get it down to normal. 

With a state of constant carataking, the two are thrusted into communion, needing to learn to accept living with each other for the time being. It isn’t a foreign feeling, seeing the other there, but at the end of the day it’s hard for the two with all that past. A past the author explores in detail just as much, not holding back on making it layered and pretty and very intense. They are creatures of passion, that’s what drives this ship and makes it so loved, and the author doesn’t shy away from building on it. Just as well, however, does the author place their own touch to their relationship, with the care and devotion the two also experiment between them. This fanfic is a welcomed balance to the rockier roads often explored surrounding these two. It never lacks sharpness, but it definitely warms the heart.

music for our funeral by itotypes

Word Count: 67,723

Tags: No Smut, Angst, 70s, Musicians!AU, Drug Abuse, References to Child Neglect, Songwriting, Artistic Lyricism

Review:

Music for our funeral by itotypes is a breathtaking composition, and there is not much like it. Set in the 70s, the author explores the surrounding setting of the rock genre, and writes a story of struggle and connection. Starting out with a run-away teenager, we meet Dazai’s lackluster perfection, the narrative often picturing him as a clinical artist. After leaving home, we watch him make himself something, and see him survive until he looks to live. Meanwhile, the other side of the piece plays with a striving perfectionist, and a reckless guitarist, in the form of Chuuya. The man comes from a struggling family (a stark contrast to the origins of his partner), and finds himself lost in the music. 

An interesting part of the story is that we get to know the characters before they meet. In a way, it allows the reader to explore the lives privy to the explosion, and before the pining and intensity that sparks between the two. One of the most appreciative factors that make this story one of my personal favorites is the usage of images throughout it. With beautiful lyrics exploring the essence of a character’s beliefs without them needing to admit it to themselves, there is a clear view into the conflicts and selfish needs that each character has. 

This author’s work is best described as an ode to music. It comes as a surprise at times, the way words fit together in reverence to this branch of artistry. Yet the fact that it’s done through another form of storytelling, through the use of words on a screen instead of notes on one’s ear, makes it all the more captivating. There is no question this is a must read. 

[lucy90712]

ik this is like the fourth request but gavi x reader where they are all hanging out together and gavi and the reader arent dating yet. they both enf up cudling somehow and the team takes like a shot tom of pics and they later find a polariod of that moment. later they go star gazing/on a walk at night with the rest and gavi ends up giving his hoodie/jacket to reader and they team +wags are just like aww while giving them a whole photoshoot

wc: 2.0k

Being friends with the some of the Barcelona squad is interesting to say the least but its so much fun and I would never give up my friendships with the team for anything. That being said we don't get to all spend time together very often as someone always has something to do but tonight by some miracle we are all free and have planned to hang out. I have had a very long and tiring week so I was considering not going but when I got a few texts about how excited everyone was I knew I couldn't not go. The one text that really solidified my fate was from Pablo as he is definitely the player I am closest to but we haven't seen each other in a little while and I knew he'd been really upset if I didn't turn up so I'm going for him. 

My relationship with Pablo is somewhat complicated. We have been really close since Pedri introduced us to each other always hanging out any chance we get but recently we have entered into a weird phase. For ages we always told people we were strictly friends even when our friends shipped us together but now Pablo has started to sort of flirt with me and has been a bit more touchy. I love it as I have had feelings for Pablo for a while but have just been too scared to say anything but I still don't dare mention anything just in case he doesn't actually have feelings for me. If there is one thing I've learnt about Pablo it is that he likes physical contact but recently I just feel like he has changed he used to rest his arm on my shoulder but now he will put it around my waist instead. He has also started greeting me with a kiss on the cheek which is a normal thing here but for us it’s a new thing. These things have me questioning what exactly our relationship is but I'm too scared to say something incase I lose him. 

Despite my dilemma with Pablo we are still really good friends so I agreed to pick him up on my way to Pedri's place where we would all be hanging out tonight. Like always he came running out and to my car and jumped in the passenger seat with a big smile on his face. Right away he launched into a conversation about what we have been doing since we last saw each other like we hadn't FaceTimed a few days ago having this exact conversation. Either way I was just happy to see him again as it has been far too long and I'll never get bored of hearing him talk about football as he's just so passionate about it. It didn't take us long to get to Pedri's and when we did I managed to find somewhere to park so that we could go in. In the few seconds I took to grab my car keys and my bag Pablo had run around the car to open my door for me which of course I thanked him for before we walked to Pedri's house. 

All of us sat catching up even though the guys see each other pretty much everyday I don't get to see them that often so we talked about what they have all been doing. We ate some food before the boys started playing fifa while I just sat and watched as I'm useless no matter how much they try and teach me. I don't mind just watching them I much prefer it actually as they are all far too competitive for my liking. Me not playing also meant I got to rest a bit to keep my energy levels up for the rest of the evening. I was sat next to Pablo with my head resting against the sofa for a while before he noticed and put an arm around me to move me closer and the making me rest my head on his chest. Any other day I'd be a bit more hesitant especially around all of our friends but tonight I'm so tried that I don't really care as much. Once I was settled he went right back to playing with his arm around me. 

Pablo was so comfy that I could have fallen asleep if it wasn't for the constant shouting from everyone when they were losing. I was also trying to subtly stare at Pablo as he played as I have always loved the way he looks when he's concentrating but he caught me a few times and just stared right back until we both ended up laughing as we can't be serious for too long. After they decided to stop playing Pablo went back to looking down at me and playing with some of my hair and probably messing it up but I didn't care. We were so in our own world that we didn't notice the guys taking pictures of us until both of our phones went off and we both looked to see pictures of us cuddling. I wanted to be mad but I just couldn't as I actually really liked the pictures and will probably save them when I am on my own later so no one knows. 

Despite liking the pictures it was still embarrassing for our friends to see us like that when we always say we are just friends so I hid my face further into Pablo's chest to avoid looking at anyone. Hiding my face also meant that Pablo didn't see that my cheeks were definitely bright red not just from embarrassment but also because I thought the pictures were cute. The guys kept making fun of us but Pablo tried to defend the both of us until they eventually stopped their teasing and instead suggested we go out for a walk. We all agreed to go but of course it took a good 20 minutes before anyone actually made any attempt to leave and when we did it ended up with a few of us waiting for the others by the door for another 10 minutes. 

"Y/n you know Pablo really does love you he just won't make a move as he's scared to ruin your friendship" Pedri said while we were waiting to leave 

"He's so smitten with you seriously you are all he ever talks about" Ferran added 

"Yeah right we are just friends and probably always will be" I said 

"We're being serious we know you like him too but he never going to make a move if you don't encourage him a little bit" Pedri said 

"I do like him but I don't want to ruin our friendship if things don't work out" I admitted 

"Believe us things will be just fine" Pedri said 

"What are you guys talking about?" Pablo asked as he walked over 

"Oh nothing important" I said quickly 

Luckily he dropped it easily and we headed out on our walk. It was a lot colder outside than I thought it would be but I knew I just had to deal with it and warm up when we got back. I haven't really experienced much of Barcelona at night as usually I only ever see it coming back from a game or somewhere else as I don't like to go out at night just to be safe. The city is really pretty at night though with so many lights illuminating the streets which are much quieter once the sun sets. Everyone else was talking but I was just enjoying the view while trying to keep as warm as possible. Eventually my concentration on the view failed as my hands began to shiver and my arms became covered in goosebumps and even my nose started to get cold. Pablo must have noticed me getting cold as he took his jacket off which he had on over his hoodie and tried to hand it to me. To begin with I refused but then he just started putting in on for me so I gave in and let him put the jacket on for me. It was a good decision in the end as not only did the jacket warm me up significantly but it also smelled like Pablo which was a great added bonus.

We walked around for a bit longer before coming across a completely empty park which is when Pablo grabbed my hand and pulled me toward a patch of grass. He sat down and so I sat down next to him to see what exactly we were doing seeing as he just dragged me over with no explanation. It all became clear when Pablo started point at the sky which was filled with bright stars. I have learnt a little bit about star constellations so I showed him the ones I recognised and told him the few things I know about space. It was so much fun as I have never shared this knowledge with anyone so it was nice to get to tell someone else about it as space is something I find really fascinating. 

Without realising as I was talking I got closer to Pablo to the point that I was leaning against him with my face just inches from his. When I realised how close we were I felt my cheeks heating up which I was hoping wouldn't be too noticeable but from that close Pablo will definitely be able to see the blush on my cheeks. Things got awkward quite quickly to the point that I couldn't take it anymore so I had to move away a bit and look in the other direction. That didn't last very long before Pablo was moving closer to me again and out a hand on my face to get me to look at him. We looked into each other's eyes for a few moments before Pablo leant down and pressed his lips to mine for the first time. The kiss was everything I imagined it to be Pablo's lips were soft against mine and the kiss was full of passion and emotion. Eventually we both pulled away and went back to looking at each other but this time we both had big smiles on our faces.

"What are we?" I eventually asked 

"We can be whatever you want but you should know that I have never felt this strongly for anyone else in my life but if you want to just stay friends I can get over it I just don't want to lose you" he admitted 

"I don't want to just be friends" I said 

"Then y/n will you be my girlfriend?" He asked 

"Of course I will" I replied 

He gave me another kiss and this time we heard cheering from the rest of the guys who were clearly spying on us. The moment was quickly ruined when they all came and sat with us and started teasing Pablo and making fun of him for taking so long to make a move. While most of the group were teasing Pablo I was talking to Frenkie who was showing me pictures they had all taken of us which were really cute. Frenkie sent me the pictures and I of course made one of them my phone lock screen then I stole Pablo’s phone and did the same even if he changes it later so people don’t see. Once the boys were done with their teasing we finally headed back to Pedri’s place where we hung out for a bit longer before I wanted to go back home and actually get some sleep. 

Of course Pablo came with me but I didn’t drop him off at his place we both went back to my apartment as now that he’s mine I don’t want to ever leave him. Luckily Pablo is just as clingy as I am because he was happy to stay the night despite both of us having things to do in the morning. As I was tired we both got straight into bed and I fell asleep pretty much straight away with Pablo cuddling me and playing with my hair. 

[supa-sweetheart]

Simple question.

Why people often do think that you must ship your favorite character with somebody just because it's your favorite character?...

Why do people think that you ship two characters by just the fact you love the relationship between them?... That you draw or just simply want them to hug, cuddle, laugh or spending time together? I mean... it kinda triggers me a lot. There are many more types of love than romantic or brotherly.

It always makes me so uncomfortable also because I am a woman and I have a straight male friend who I truly love and sometimes cuddle with. But we are not a couple. We will never be. And he feels exactly the same. We don't want our relationship to be diffrent and it annoys us when people ( usually the fučkin same ones ) asks us over and over again that maybe we should try be lovers or do we actually secretly fell in love with each other. It is uncomfortable. Why do so many of you think so negatively?

Now that I've started this topic, I'll tell you what prompted me to write this post.

Recently I noticed that some people are asking or even stating facts on their own that I ship Daryl Dixon and Beth from the TV series "The Walking Dead". Probably because I share illustrations of them hugging or looking at each other in the comfortable way. ♡

So yeah. Daryl is my comfort character and I love him the most in the entire series. But godamn that doesn't mean I have to ship him with anyone. I do not. I don't ship Daryl Dixon with anyone ... at least for now. Yes I love his relationship with Beth. The fact how pure, honest, beautiful, delicate and innocent it was. I love what Beth opened in Daryl's heart. How did he feel after so many traumas. He saw that there really are still good people in this fučked up World. I love his relationships with many other characters too. Especialy with Maggie, Rick, Judith and Lydia. But still Beth and Daryl is one of the bonds that influences me the most.

You know... I'd probably like to have a similar one with Daryl. Maybe that's why. It doesn't mean that I would like him to be my boyfriend. I just simply love this kind of relationships when you can open your real self and be close without any weird thoughs. I have this kind of relationship in real life. I'm greatfull for that.

I don't know how else to sum it up. People and their looking for shit in something really beautiful is disgusting. I've experienced this many times on the internet, in many fandoms. Probably because I'm quite well-known and recognizable in the fandom where I'm most active (on the ig). A bunch of people really want others to think that i am a "proshipper", toxic, obsessed in the unhealthy way of things or generally a bad person. I'm not usually up to date with their ideas, but sometimes they come to the surface and other fans ask me about various things while watching these people's sweats and aggression. I don't care how old the fans are. On the Internet, everyone takes responsibility for what they say to others.

Thanks for reading ♡

[mylittlesecrethaven]

Bro Wtf. Kenji Did Not Deserve That Shit

I'm gonna start this out by saying I was a big fan of the Mofongo boys and Kage and Andy and Phoenix. I am still a fan of Riikami, and that will probably not change.

I had not paid too much attention to Kenji in the past, and I only saw this blow up when I was looking up Kage's YouTube channel, and all I found was results about Kenji being doxed.

I am still a little behind on everything going on with the situation, so all I know is that Dove and Kage were talking in gcs about doxing Kenji, and that Riikami had no idea it was going on.

I've heard a little about Andy and Phoenix being involved, but not to what extent. If someone could enlighten me on that, I would be grateful. I've been busy recently, so I've had barely any time to look into full videos over what happened or Kenji's video about what happened.

I've seen Riikami's video about leaving the Mofongo boys, and I've seen some shorts of Kenji talking about the situation. I've seen part of Kage and Andy's apology streams, and I've heard talk about Phoenix maybe doing one.

That's all I know on the subject. Again, if somebody could fill me in a little more, I'd appreciate it. (I might have done more research by the time this comes out, but any extra information is welcome.)

And if you have absolutely no idee what I'm talking about, I'm going to put some videos below the cut for you to watch, from shorts to full videos, in case you're curious.

Pnumbral's overview for Vtubing, also includes a short segment about Kenji's doxing situation. (Short)

Pnumbral's full video over Vtubing that week, Kenji's doxing situation starting at 5:00 until 1:18:00. (Live video) (I myself have not watched the entire stream)

Kenji's full stream talking about the situation. (Video) (I also have not fully watched this yet.)

The last few minutes of Kage's stream, where I think he apologizes. (Video) (Yet again, I've only watched a little bit. There are plenty of comments for me to learn from though, and I've just noticed one of them saying that Dove was the instigator and Andy and Phoenix had very little to no interactions with the gcs involving Kage and Dove.)

Riikami announcing him leaving Mofongo boys and saying he had no idea what was going on. (Video) (This was actually how I found out about everything going on)

I wasn't able to find the video of Andy talking about the situation, but I know there is/was one. There's also plenty of videos and shorts on Kenji's YouTube channels, Kenji + and Kenji Clips.

There's also a ton of other deep dives into the situation, and they also explain more on what happened with Dove. If I have time, I will look into them, but I will not be updating this post.

I am extremely sad that Mofongo boys is disbanding, especially since now it seems that it may have just been Kage and Dove, but I can understand why. I can tell that Dove and Kage's vtubing careers are probably done and over with, but I'm hopeful that Andy, Phoenix, and Riikami can do well on their own. If I can find out more about how involved Andy and Phoenix were, that would be great, but for now I'm happy just knowing Riikami wasn't knowingly involved.

Kenji didn't deserve this shit, and I wish it never happened.

(Also, it's weird to me that Kage's YouTube channel, where he deleted all of his videos, shorts, and lives, still has more subscribers than Riikami. (As of April 27th))

(edit - Nevermind. Riikami now has more followers)

[bi-bard]

It's Bloody and Raw, But I Swear It Is Sweet - Dick Grayson Imagine [Titans]

Title: It's Bloody and Raw, But I Swear It Is Sweet

Pairing: Dick Grayson X Reader

Based On: Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene

Word Count: 876 words

Warning(s): violence, fighting, make-out

Summary: There's a theory that times of high stress may lead people to attribute their body's reaction to an attraction to another person rather than the event that caused said reaction. Maybe it was easier for Dick to believe that theory was the reason for his recent feelings. (Y/n) definitely doesn't buy that.

Author's Note: I fucking love this song.

Also, this feels really short, but I like it.

HOZIER [2014] WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

----------------------

The first time I met Batman's little sidekick, I was a little shocked.

I had been told that Batman was running around with some kid. The guy who showed up on that rooftop wasn't a kid. He was a full-grown man running around in a fancy suit.

"You must be Robin," I said. He didn't respond. "Okay, impolite."

"You're working for a career criminal."

"And I still haven't forgotten my manners," I replied. "You know that I can't let you get down there, don't you?"

After a moment of hesitation, Robin took off toward me.

I stepped to the side and grabbed his arm. I twisted it behind his back, only to be shoved backward. I regained my balance and chuckled at him.

"Finally, a little bit of fun," I commented.

I went to land a kick into his side, but he blocked it with his arms. I moved forward, grabbed the back of his neck, and shoved him behind me.

I grabbed a little gadget from my belt and threw it at him. I watched the ropes shoot out of it and wrap around Robin. He fell down where he was.

"It was nice meeting you," I said, skipping over to the edge. "See you around, Birdy!"

I made my way down without another word.

At the time, I thought that our interactions would be a form of entertainment for me. Someone to fight that actually could offer a fair match.

However, the more we met, the more my feelings were getting mixed.

I found myself noticing small, stupid things.

His hair seemed to always fall into perfect place when we saw each other. His eyes were a dark brown. They almost looked pitch black behind his little mask. He had a damn-near-perfect jawline. He'd let this little smirk form on his lips during our fights.

I started wondering if he noticed small things about me when we met.

My first hint that he may have, was months after the two of us had met.

I found Robin on a rooftop one night.

"Oh, surveillance," he jumped when he heard my voice. "Exciting."

He ignored me, turning around.

"Aw, I thought we were past the grumpy silence," I sighed, walking over. "I hope you know that you aren't gonna see anything."

"Why," he asked.

"Because that's a decoy delivery."

"What," he stood up suddenly, glaring at me.

"My boss isn't an idiot," I chuckled. "Some people can actually outsmart Batman and Birdy."

Robin swung at me. I ducked, landing a punch to his stomach before spinning around his back.

Before I knew what was happening, my back was being shoved again a wall. It was the small building that really only existed to protect the stairway onto the roof.

Robin had his hand wrapped around my neck.

I watched his eyes scan over me. There it was.

I chuckled before using his momentarily distracted state to grab his arm, twist it around his back, and shove him against the wall.

"Sorry, I'd entertain that little glint in your eye, but I've got a schedule to keep," I leaned in, so my lips brushed his ear. "Can't wait to see you again, Birdy."

I pressed a kiss to the spot just behind his ear before running off again, leaving him in whatever flustered and confused state he was in.

The flirting only continued to isolate from that point.

I couldn't hide it. I was attracted to that little sidekick. And I was pretty convinced that he was attracted to me, but just wouldn't admit it. To me or to himself.

That was okay. It may have been embarrassing to admit that you had feelings for the very person that you thought you were meant to hate.

After another few months, I found myself face-to-face with Robin again.

Yet another rooftop, yet another fight.

I was tired.

We had been fighting for so long. It was a lot of swinging and grunting. It was just dragging on for so long.

I managed to get the jump on Robin, knocking him down to the ground. He landed on his back with me straddling his waist.

We both froze in that position. He looked up at me with a shocked expression. I was studying his look. A smirk pulled at my lips.

I leaned down slowly.

My lips met his. The kiss itself was slow. Robin hesitated for a few moments but kissed me back before I could pull away. I grinned into the kiss and put a little more pressure into the kiss.

I felt his hands touch my sides. Out of instinct, I grabbed his wrists and pinned one on each side of his head. I chuckled against his lips but kept going regardless.

I only pulled away when I heard gunshots ringing out from nearby.

"See you around, Birdy," I whispered, pecking his lips one last time. "Maybe we could continue this next time."

I pushed myself up and ran to the edge of the roof. I jumped down. There was a moment where I waited there, just out of sight.

All I heard escape him after I left were two words: "Holy shit."

I bit my lip.

I really had Birdy right under my thumb.

----------------------

Navigation Guide

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

[alltheotherblogs]

My most recent obsession, and how I've been obsessed with it my whole life.

Some people will understand what it's like to be too poor to actually do the things you want to do. Others won't quite get it. But for me that thing I've always wanted to do was FIGHTING!! Fighting is my heart and soul. Without combat, I'd be nothing but some bland boring husk. I've talked about this before, how if I was born even a few years back in time things would be different. Well, it's true! Fact is that with supply and demand, there is not a lot of demand to become a fighter. So gyms hike up prices to be able to make rent. Especially in an ever more fucked up economy. That leads me to my obsession... The fantasy of being a fighter. And the manga Hajime no Ippo. All of you know I'm a writer, a pretty intense one too. If I write these massive paragraphs every other day, imagine how often I'm writing in my books! Ippo, Baki, and so many others have given me the motivation I need to keep going, and they've made me happy to watch and enjoy fighting again. Because before, it just felt like torture. But now, it feels like maybe one day I'll really be there, in that ring, with an opponent that is about to be very very sad that they lost. The saddest part is that I am an ideal boxer, or fighter in general. I get gassy yeah but if I had a proper diet I wouldn't. In general, I find it easy to cycle through weight classes. Very easy. I just wish I had the equipment! The supplies to actually take this matter into my own hands... But the system is rigged against me. Even though I can fight, step into that ring, and walk out a winner, the fact is you NEED a trainer and a manager. You can't actually do it without them, they don't let you and those guys need a license to be a trainer or manager. So, yeah. I'm screwed! It's a money thing, and I don't have money. And if I had money I wouldn't have time. I want to work a lot of jobs and my current favorite option is to be a firefighter, or to actually profit off one of my books. Obviously the book thing isn't gonna happen, that's another money thing to actually publish it, even online... Maybe I'll just start another blog and start putting up pages there. That doesn't cost money, lol. Might get noticed one day.

Anywaysssss yeah. Read hajime no ippo. It's really good. I like to voice the characters sometimes, just for fun even though I'm alone. And I'm really really fond of Takemura's voice in the show. He and I have the same voice type so it's easy to do an impression of him. Another thing related to Ippo is the ps3 japan exclusive boxing game based on ippo, it's absurdly good. You should all check it out. It takes maybe 3 hours to set it all up.

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression: Vol 11 - Looking back on 25 years of Dir en grey (Niconama)

K: Ok, here we go, this is Kaoru from Dir en grey with The Freedom of Expression on our Nico nico channel. 

T: And I'm Tasai from Tokyo Sports. 

K: So, today we have a guest with us. Its Gara from Merry. 

G: I'm Gara, happy to be here. At last I'm here! 

*applause*

K: It was quite short notice, so thanks for coming. 

G: No, no, if I get a call from you, my schedule is open anytime!

K: haha

T: Ah, a comment asking, 'Where's Joe?'. As before, our friend Joe is having a day off today. 

K: Basically, he's not here if we have a guest. 

T: Haha, yeh. Whats all that about?

K: You could say that its because Joe's not here, that we actually invite guests.

T: Haha 

K: Things would get bad if it was just me and you. 

T: Ah, is that it? A guest will keep the show in check?

K: Hm, maybe. 

T: Anyway, Kaoru, how's the baseball going?

K: Haha, baseball? Well, its already over for Hanshin...

T: But they made it into the Climax series, right? 

K: Yeh, they burst through the first stage, and they made it to the final stage, but Yakult were just too strong. 

T: Yeh, they were kinda overwhelming. 

K: Mm, even now, Yakult are doing the Japan Series, and they are still doing well. 

T: By the way, do you watch baseball, Gara?

G: Not much recently. But I did actually play baseball a lot when I was in elementary and junior high school. 

K, T: Ohh!?

G: I was a baseball kid. 

T: Wow, I would never have imagined that!

G: Yeh, I was even in the newspaper　taking part in the Gunma prefectural tournament. 

T: Wow!

K: In the newspaper?

G: Yeh, I... (*2番セコンドで出てた...baseball, I dunno*)

K: I see. 

G: But you know, back then there was that Giants player, Kawai, right? People in my hometown used to liken me to him, I used to bunt everyone. 

K, T: Hahaha 

T: You were like Gunma's own Kawai?

G: I was. 

K: Haha, I see. Well, actually, if Hanshin had actually made it to the Japan series, we were thinking of watching a game again today. 

T: Right? The timing would have been right. Hey, but maybe next year. 

K: Yeah. 

T: Ok, lets get on with the show. So, Kaoru, its Dir's 25th anniversary, and you've just started the new tour, havn't you? How were the opening shows?

K: Well, they were fun, yeh. 

G: I saw the setlists, they were incredible. 

T: Yeh, but we won't reveal them. 

K: Yeh, we won't talk about them here. They weren't incredible though, not at all. 

T: So, today we'll be looking back on the past 25 years, and our theme will be 'Anniversary talk '22: From TFOE, looking back on 25 years of Dir en grey'!

*applause*

T: So, Gara, you are the perfect guest for this talk. I think everyone already knows this, but could you just tell us what your connection with Dir en grey is? 

G: Well, I just discovered something new actually. I'd always seen myself as the  unofficial first roadie for Dir en grey, but now Kaoru tells me he doesn't think I was first. 

K: Well, yeh, we just recorded a subscribers-only video before starting this broadcast, right? And while we were talking about it, a memory came to me that Gara wasn't actually the first one. 

G: But I don't remember meeting anyone who was there before me.  

K: No, I think there was someone. I don't remember who it was though. 

T: You don't remember who??

G: Well, I didn't meet them. 

K: Oh, was it that guy...I've forgotten...some guy who was the vocalist in another band?

G: A vocalist? Was there someone like that?

K: Yeh, briefly, I think. 

G: Eh, really?

K: Yeh, if he was there even briefly, then he was the first. 

G: I don't remember that at all. It must have been very briefly. 

K: Mm, I get the feeling it was. But if we're talking first, it was him. 

G: But I was with you since Missa, so it must have been before that. 

K: Yeh, it was, probably. 

T: Someone in the comments saying, 'Kaoru, don't you like Gara being the first?'

K: No, I'm just looking at the reality. I wouldn't mind it if Gara was the first, but strictly speaking, I don't think he was. 

G: If the person in question is watching this, I'd really like them to comment. 

T: Haha, thats a good idea. 

G: I'd really like to sit down with them with a drink, and have a thorough talk about this. 

T, K: Hahaha.

T: By the way Kaoru, do the other members see Gara as the first roadie?

K: My memory is sketchy, its like they wouldn't say he is, but they wouldn't say he isn't either. But actually, Die definitely says Gara wasn't first. 

G: Yeh, he said to me before, "You were only there from the minus era to the zero era".

K: Yeh, thats right. 

T: Haha, what does that mean?

G: Like, when the band first moved to Tokyo, they didn't really have roadies before then. It became a normal thing from around the time I started. So I don't know much about what happened before then. 

T: If anyone knows who this first roadie was, please comment!

G: Yeh, I really want to talk with them. 

T: Ok, so as its the 25th anniversary, we are asking for lots of comments and messages from viewers. If you have any thoughts, opinions, or requests, please send them in, anything is ok. If you are on Twitter, please use the tag, TFOE. Anyone can watch the first part of this show for free, but the second part is for channel members only. If you become a member, you can watch this live broadcast as many times as you like for free in the archives for 1 year. And we also have special videos for members only, so please join using the link at the top of the screen, and enjoy this broadcast to the end. The link is there, right Kaoru?

K: Yep *points*

T: Right, well regardless of whether or not Gara was the first roadie, lets have a look back at some history. 

G: Lets just say I was for now, ok?

T: Haha, ok. So, I thought we could first look back at the years from 2015 to now. 

K: Starting in the middle? Oh, right, we'll talk about the early years later?

T: Yeah, later on. Ok, lets look at your artist photo from 2015. 

*Kaoru's Ningen wo kaburu solo shot is shown*

T: This is from the 'kaburu'(wearing) era?

K: Haha, yeh, and im 'wearing' that. 

T: What do you remember about this photo shoot, Kaoru?

K: Nothing in particular, except I was wearing that hat, so it felt a bit different from usual. 

T: Any unique points?

K: Well, it was quite an unusual costume. The sleeves were a bit weird, so it was an interesting outfit, but you can't really see it on this photo, can you?

T: No, we can't see any of that. 

K: Our style became kinda dark from this point onwards. 

T: Ah, I see. Gara, what do you think of this photo?

G: Oh, Dir's artist photos are always amazing, but Kaoru, do you guys decide on your costumes after you have the song? How do you do it?

K: Oh, afterwards, yeh. After we decide to make a video, then we decide on our outfits. 

G: Do you have like a group discussion about it?

K: Oh, no no. 

G: You just see what the others are wearing for the first time on the day of the shooting? 

K: Yes. Its like, 'Ahh, so this is what they chose!'. I admire their choices. 

G: Its amazing that no one ever turns up wearing the same outfit!

K: Yeh, I don't think thats happened. 

T: Someone commented, 'At what point do you start thinking about your outfit?'

G: Yeh, I'd like to know this. 

K: Well, a certain amount of time is needed to make it, so probably about a month in advanced. I inform my tailor of the date of the shoot, and then I'll send my requirements, which fabrics I want, I'll draw sketches, find images etc, and they make it for me. 

T: Gara, how do Merry go about this kind of thing?

G: Well, we also start thinking about outfits after we have a song and a title, but we do have a group meeting to talk about what to wear. We tend to go for similar themed costumes. Like, all back, or all in suits etc. 

K: You guys always used to wear suits when you started, right?

G: Yeah, we did. 

T: Ok, lets take a look at the time line on Dir's official homepage. Lets look at 2015 first. 

K: What did we do in 2015? Oh, tours?

T: Yeh, tours. Its hard to see. Namba Hatch, Jan 6th. 2014-15 BY THE GRACE OF GOD.

K: Ah, we went overseas that year too. 

T: Oh yeh, you toured Europe. Do you have any memories of this? THE UNSTOPPABLE LIFE tour. 

K: I don't remember much from back then. 

T: Like, the places you went, and stuff? London, Germany, Warsaw...is that Poland?

K: Oh yeh, we went there too. 

T: Belarus?

K: Yeh, and there. 

T: What was it like in Belarus?

K: I don't remember. 

T, G: Hahaha

K: Basically, we travel by bus, but we don't stay over in the cities. The bus driver also needs time to sleep, so we stop in places that are a bit removed from the cities, you know like out in the countryside. The bus is parked in the hotel parking area, and we reserve hotel rooms for members and staff just to take a shower. I mean, we can sleep there too if we want, but we usually sleep on the bus. 

G: So you don't do a lot of sightseeing?

K: Well, we sometimes take the train into the city, or like, go out and find somewhere for dinner. Thats about it. 

G: Were you ok with all the food overseas, Kaoru? I got the impression you were quite picky with food. 

K: No, Im usually ok. 

G: Is food one of the things to look forward to on overseas tours?

K: Well in Europe, its more or less the same everywhere you go. Its only Japan that has such a wide variety of foods in different regions. America is more or less all the same too. But I guess there are differences in European food in places that are near the ocean, and places which are inland. Oh, actually, I didn't really like some of the food in South America. It tasted good in Brazil though. 

T: Yeh, that meat with loads of sauce, right? Someone said in the comments, 'Gara is really picky with food'. 

G: Yeah, there are loads of things I can't eat, just because of how they look. 

T: Like what?

G: Well, I can't eat KFC. 

K: It looks disgusting?

G: That shape just makes me think of a chicken out in the countryside. When I see that chicken leg, i can't eat it. 

K: The shape makes you think of thighs?

G: Yeh. Stuff that puts an image in my head, I can't eat. 

K: So if its minced/ground chicken, its ok?

G: Yeah, thats fine. Yakitori is also fine. Its just things I look at, and then I can't. When we went overseas I basically lived off cup noodles and crackers. 

T: Oh, that sounds tough! Ok, shall we have a look at 2016? 

K: Oh, we did Arche at Budokan. 

T: Yeh, and then a tour straight after that. 

K: Oh, this was when we started the Mode of tours. Its was for our 20th anniversary. 

T: 2016 is also when this show first started on the radio, and Utafumi was released this year too. Do you have any memories of this year, Kaoru?

K: Well, yeh, I remember the Mode of tours. We decided to start with Vulgar...actually, I think we decided in advance to do Vulgar and Dum, but after that we kinda just decided to continue depending on the response each time. Limiting the number of shows per tour was also important, because it would be tough for the less popular albums otherwise. 

G: I get the feeling you played a lot of live shows in 2016 though. This year was also Merry's 15th anniversary, and I don't know if Kaoru remembers this, but this was the year I asked him if we could do a live together once. 

K: Merry and Dir?

G: Yes. I actually contacted each member individually during this year, for our 15th anniversary. But it turned out they were too busy to manage it at the time. When I went to ask Kaoru though, he said he liked the idea.(*or words to that effect. This part confused me a bit*)

T: Do you remember this, Kaoru? 

K: I remember that conversation, yeh. 

T: Gara, how did you feel then?

G: Well, it was the first time for me to ask such a thing, so I was really nervous. And we are under the same label so I worried a bit about asking through the office, so I contacted each member individually. It was Kyo who said to me, "I don't mind, but you know we'll crush you". 

T: Haha, of course he did. 

G: But each member was basically like, 'If its Merry, we'll think about it'. 

T: Oh, what a great story. 

G: Yeh, so I remember this year well. 

K: Well, there's no benefit for us in it. 

T: Haha, you're not supposed to say that!

K: Hahaha

G: It was the year I found the courage to ask. 

K: Well, we don't know what the future holds, there is still a chance it could happen. 

T: Ahh!

G: That would be great. 

T: Ok, should we move on to 2017? What happened in 2017? More Mode of tours, and, Ah! In July you did Androgynous. 

G: Ohh, I had a lot of thoughts about this. 

T: Tell us. 

G: Well, when I was a roadie, Dir and Pierrot would play the same events, but they would have seperate dressing rooms, and never talk. I really sensed tension between them. And even the roadies didn't talk. So for both bands to play Yokohama arena together...even I went to see them. 

T: Ahh, did it remind you of how it used to be back in the day?

G: Yeah, was that really 2017?

K: Yeah, 5 years ago. 

T: People commenting that they want you to do more of this kind of thing. Oh, this came up in that Tanabata video that we did. 

K: Oh yeah.  

T: Maybe you might try it again if the opportunity arises?

K: Well, maybe, yeh. 

T: Someone commented, 'I was so happy then!'

K: It might be interesting to include more bands if we did it again. Instead of just two bands. 

G: Oh, thank you for the suggestion! Of couse we will be free. 

K: Eh?

G: Our schedule is open. 

K: Haha, is it?

G: Yes!

T: That was fast!

K: But I dont know about having bands that are from the same label?

G: Thats fine, isn't it? Its fine. 

K: Hahaha, really?

G: Yes, Im sure. 

T: Haha, someone commented, 'Reservation done'. 

G: But actually, we did a Halloween event with Baroque in 2017 at Akasaka Blitz, and thier guitarist Kei suggested inviting a guest, specifically Kaoru. But he told me to contact Kaoru about it. So I contacted him and asked him to take part, which he did. 

T: Kaoru, you are really generous!

K: No, no, Im not. Its just that the timing was right. 

G: But it was like a dream come true for me, seeing Kaoru playing our songs. I was so happy. Afterwards we decided to go for drinks, but when we got to the bar, we realised Baroque had gone home! It was just Merry and Kaoru. 

K: And there were no staff, it was just me and them!

T: Haha. Ok, lets look at 2018. You put a best of album out. Any thoughts on that, Kaoru?...Vestige of Scratches. 

K: That must have come out on our 21st anniversary then? Hm, well, we formed in the February, so its still around the right time maybe...Im not sure. 

T: The best of album was released on the 2nd of Jan, right?

K: Yeh, January. Gara, have you guys ever done a best of album?

G: Yeah. 

K: Don't you think its pretty difficult?

G: Not really, I mean, ours was when we had just moved from indies to major, so we didnt have that many songs. It was pretty easy. 

K: Ah, for us at this time, we already had 9 albums...8 or 9. 

T: Yeah, Arche was the ninth. 

K: We had a hundred songs, so it was so hard choosing which songs to include. It ended up as 3 disks. Like, it would be boring if it were only singles, and stuff. But even then we had 30 singles!

G: You'd even need three disks for the singles. 

K: But these days, people make their own best of's by making playlists. I doubt best of albums will be a thing for much longer. 

T: Yeah. So you released your 10th album in September of 2018. 

K: Yeah, The Insulated World. 

T: Ok, we don't have much time left. Lets look at 2019. 

K: Oh, look! Free-Wil Slum, we DID do that! haha 

G: Yeah, this was the first time we appeared at an event with Dir, this event held by our label. 

T: Ah, in January. 

G: Yeah, I was so nervous beforehand. We were in the dressing room doing our make up and stuff, then a staff member came an announced that Dir en grey were coming, and we were kicked out of the dressing room!

K: hahaha 

G: We had to just stand in thr hallway and wait there untill it was time to perform. I was like...what?!

K: hahaha, Im sorry. 

G: Oh, no, its ok. But I mean, the dressing room door said Merry and Dir en grey on it...but we were asked to leave and stand in the hallway outside when Dir en grey arrived. So that was Free Will Slum for us...standing in the hallway before the live. 

T: Haha, there is some sympathy in the comments for you. 

K: How was the live...Oh, I think I watched you. 

G: It was good, but after you guys played, I felt like you dwarfed us. It motivated me to try harder. I remember talking to Tommy about it. We volunteered to go before Dir, it was only us before them. But it made me realise how high the Dir en grey wall actually is. 

T: Ahh, Kaoru, do you remember this?

K: Yeah. I remember them being chased out and wondering where they went, haha.

G: We were all at the same level there. No one did rehearsals, we all just had to go on stage and play, but still, I was amazed by Dir. 

T: Yeah. You also released your 30th single in 2019, The World of Mercy. 30 singles is incredible, isn't it?

K: Well, we have been around for 25 years, haha. 

T: It was a long song. Anything to tell us about this?

K: Well, it was hard, haha. Hmm, it was put out between the end of one album, and looking towards the next one, so we thought we could make it long. But it didnt really look towards the next album in the end. It was quite difficult. 

T: Ok, 2020. There was Covid, cancelled tours...

K: Yeah, covid happened just as we were finishing touring in Europe, after starting in 2019, and going to North America too. When we were at the airport before going to Europe, masks were on sale in stores as normal, so we bought a load, just in case. But when we returned, there were none left.

T: Ahh. Did it worry you when you saw the situation? 

K: Well, I saw it on the news a bit, but there was nothing in Europe at that time, so it wasn't that easy to see. But masks became indispensable since, right?

T: Mm, well, you released your first digital single during covid too. So covid had a big effect on you. 

K: Our tours were cancelled, so we thought we had to do something, so thats why we made it. But there was nothing to look forward to or work towards, so it was hard for the staff, as well as the members. 

G: Yeah, it was so hard to stay motivated. Its like, you make songs to play them live, so without lives, what do you do? I remember seeing Dir's live broadcast. It was a year of changes. We (Merry) talked a lot about what to do because even if you postpone, you don't know how long for. It was a year I will never forget. 

K: You played at Hibiya Open Air Concert Hall though, right? 

G: We did, yes. Kaoru and Die came to see us then. 

T: Oh, I bet you were happy about that. 

G: I was really happy. And it was a bit hard to invite people under those kind of conditions, but he still came. 

T: Ahh, Kaoru, you always go at the best times. 

K: I mean, I don't really, haha. 

G: I was really happy though. 

T: Well, Dir have gradually restarted touring in 2021 and 2022. So, Gara, can you tell us about Merry's recent activities etc?

G: Well, this year is our 20th anniversary, so on the 12th of November, we will hold our White Sheep/Black Sheep live at Kanda Square Hall. The first part will be mainly acoustic, with a piano. But for the second part, the Black Sheep part, we are asking fans and aquaintances to each request 3 songs for us to play. And then we will make a setlist from that. So, Kaoru, Id love it if you could suggest 3 songs to us too. 

K: Eh? I don't really know your songs though, haha. 

G: No, no, Id really appreciate it if you could. 

K: I only know the old ones. 

G: Thats totally fine. 

T: Ok, so in the second part of the show, we will talk about the times from the Indies era up to 2014, I wonder what stories we will hear from Gara. 

G: I have some deep things to tell. 

T: Really?

K: Well, he used to come over to my place a lot back then, in the indies and debut eras. 

G: Yeah, I did. 

T: Ohh, this will be good to hear about! So, the second part is for channel members only, so if you want to watch it, you need to subscribe. This will then be in the archives for one year, and we will also put out another members only video in the next few days. Ok, how to join...Kaoru is pointing to it now. If you click the link, a payment method screen will appear. Choose your method and click proceed. Then you can input your details. If you havnt yet joined, please do so now. And don't forget to check out Merry at Kanda Square Hall in November. And Kaoru will be doing the 25th anniversary tour...

K: Oh, someone commented Orix took the lead! (*baseball*). 

T: Thats more important than the anniversary tour. 

K: hahaha 

T: Ok, see you in a min!

[folliesandfolderols]

Writing prompts days 30 and 31

From this prompt list. If you've read this far, I'm not sure you need any explanation, but the short version is I hadn't written any fiction since 2019, I set a goal to write at least 150 words/day in 2024, and this list was my way in. Also I abruptly decided on day 2 I would write an entire Tim/Damian story connecting all the prompts, because I am Good at Judging My Limits. /sarcasm Anyway, I finished the first draft and I'm unlocking old entries as I edit.

Read from the beginning here

Days 28 & 29 here

***

130. "Spread your legs for me." ... "Spread them wider."

***

Damian's jaw dropped just for a second before he recovered. "I suppose I can indulge you, since you've asked."

Tim resisted the urge to roll his eyes and just smiled instead. "I would appreciate that." He rolled off Damian to lie against his side. "Well?"

Damian didn't move for a moment, eyes fixed on the ceiling above them. "If I say or do anything you don't want, you will tell me to stop."

Tim's smile softened involuntarily. Even though Damian was making it sound like an order, he knew it was a request. "Of course."

"Very well." Damian looked at him fully. His face had turned scarlet, but his expression was cool. "Roll over onto your stomach. You may arrange your arms however you wish."

Curious, but willing to go with it, Tim followed instructions.

"Good." Damian rose and knelt beside him. His hands traced the muscles from Tim's shoulders to the small of his back, pausing at the gnarled scar that memorialized the loss of his spleen before moving on again. "Do you know," he continued in a conversational tone, "I really haven't had much chance to touch you as I'd like, so I appreciate the opportunity. I imagine passivity doesn't come naturally to you any more than it does to the rest of us."

Tim pressed his face into the sheets to hide his confusion. He'd expected Damian to pin him down and grind them both to orgasm within minutes, not whatever this was.

"But then again, I have on occasion noticed something. You like to watch me when I interact with my animals. You tried to hide it but I saw you looking."

Stung and somehow feeling more naked than he had five seconds before, Tim turned his head enough to make his voice clearly heard. "Mostly because of the novelty of you actually being nice to another living being. Don't think too much of it."

"Tt." Damian stroked up his back again. Tim flinched as soft lips pressed a kiss to his shoulder. "I didn't, actually, until fairly recently."

Because he hadn't thought much about Tim at all, of course.

"But now I wonder if perhaps . . ." He buried his fingers in Tim's hair and carefully worked them through the damp strands. Tim shivered and dug his fingers into his arms, folded beneath his head. Damian dropped another kiss on the top of his head, and a third onto his bicep. "You wanted to be petted as much as they do."

Tim was going to either melt into this bed in a liquefaction of lust or flip over and gag him. It was even odds at the moment. He fought to keep his voice light as Damian bit over his ribs. "Before you ask, I'm not into pet play."

"Fortunate, since I'm not either." Damian's tone had gone fond. Tim had heard the exact same one when he was chastising Alfred the Cat for begging him for belly scratches and then biting his hand. The slow, steady pressure of his palms' movement continued turning Tim's muscles to goo. "That doesn't preclude spoiling you a bit." On their next trip down, his hands slid lower, to Tim's ass. "May I try something I've wanted to attempt for awhile now?"

"Sure. Like I said, I'll stop you if I don't like it."

Damian's hands moved to his thighs, directing them outward. "Spread your legs for me." Tim obeyed. Damian moved between them and gave another nudge. "Spread them wider."

Like all Bats, Tim's range of motion was greater than most people's, so this time he spread his legs almost into a split, until he nearly started to feel the stretch. Damian patted his flank the same way he used to Titus. "Just like that. Good."

Tim sucked air in between his teeth at the words, warmth pulsing in his belly. So sue him, he wasn't immune to the Robin praise kink curse. Worse, he could tell Damian noticed because his hands froze for a bare second before he said, "You're doing very well."

Ugh. Tim hated himself for the way that made his cock leak.

Damian pushed his ass cheeks apart, thumbs rubbing up and down their swell. "I'll just—" he began, and then licked from Tim's perineum all the way to the top of the crease.

Tim jolted and could barely restrain a shout of surprise. "Dami—"

He could feel Damian's smile against his back, where he rested his face for a moment. "I told you I would spoil you."

Tim felt like he'd been punched in the gut, albeit a lot more pleasantly than normal, and the noise he made probably sounded like it too. "I—" He cut himself off with a groan when Damian did it again. "Oooh my God."

Damian exhaled a laugh, a warm huff of breath across the sensitive skin beneath his mouth. "Try to hold still. I don't relish the thought of a broken nose because you got carried away."

"Hey," Tim said with as much indignation as he could muster, which was very little at the moment. "You just said I'm doing very well."

Damian pressed his mouth directly to Tim's hole, and sensation zinged up Tim's nerve endings straight to the base of his skull, driving out thoughts and leaving only a pathetic whimper in his throat.

days thirty-two, thirty-three, and thirty-four here

[thunderheadfred]

Life stuff update!

Haven't posted about this first bit anywhere because... wow personal, but it's been a majority chunk of life lately.

Husband put in his notice at his current teaching job a while back. He's been working there for 8 years and is supposedly one of their most valued teachers, yet he barely takes home $100 more per paycheck than when he started. Plus our insurance is insane, taking most of his check every month whilst covering literally fucking nothing (we are still paying off my doctor-ordered biopsy!). PLUS his commute is fucking ludicrous - in the winter he regularly drives over 3 hours a day to a shit job that doesn't pay anything. I barely see him for a hour or two each day during the school year.

Bio clock is ticking, just saying. Never really had that baby-wanting impulse until very recently, and there was absolutely zero possibility of us starting a family while he's at this job. No money, no time, no medical support.

So. Bye. After talking to a therapist to help us through the plunge, we finally decided enough was enough.

He doesn't have another job lined up after summer school, so in August we have zero certain income. Neither off us is particularly panicked about this; the hiring wave for fall teaching positions has yet to happen, and there are several things he can do even if he can't find a full-time job at a local district.

What's looking most likely is actually that he'll juggle part-time jobs for a while. Subbing or other work at a district he's interested in will help him get a foot in the door, meanwhile an afternoon or weekend cashier job at the co-op down the street (where I used to work) has some distinct benefits. First off, he could WALK to work, and the co-op offers higher hourly rates and better promotional opportunities than his current "salaried" teaching job. Add on a big discount at the place where we buy most of our groceries anyway...

Anyway. That's been a lot.

Meanwhile I've been doing the housewife thing. Which actually entails more than just "chores" - I've been doing a huuuuge amount of work on my mental and physical health. I've lost 40 pounds (with 60+ to go) and have completely changed my eating, which has helped immeasurably with CFS, Depression, and life in general. I've started socializing again after years of serious, life-altering anxiety. Basically, I'm getting my life back. Or maybe getting my life for the first time? I was so mentally ill for so long that this really feels like the first time I've been genuinely balanced... maybe ever?

Whether that new peace of mind encourages me back into fandom I have no idea. Fandom social mores seem to have shifted over the years. Maybe it's just the glimpses I see now and then, but the Internet as a whole doesn't seem too anonymous or even like... baseline compassionate for anyone anymore. That's probably a matter of what you make of it, but even so, I'd be lying if I said spending my time in fandom spaces hasn't lost most of its personal appeal. I've been much happier offline, so that's where I've been. I do miss my friends, and I wish they lived down the street and not inside the scary computron. It'd be great to write again, but my interest in fandom work might be over. I'll never say never, but right now I just don't see it. Maybe someday I finally get back into the habit; but it's gonna happen in its own time if it does.

Lately I've been working on my YouTube thing, though where that'll end up nobody knows. It's certainly not a serious money-making prospect, nor am I aiming to make it one. YouTube actually scares the ever-loving shit out of me, so it's pretty much a deliberate mental health exercise. My whole attitude toward it has been "stress less, make more." So I treat it kind of like a journal of the nail shit that has taken over my life (lolllll), and a chance to pay forward all the relaxation I've gotten over the years watching Nail YouTube. It'd be nice if I could eventually have enough subs to maybe pay for some nail supplies or get some free PR or something, but that's about as ambitious as I get.

Okay my fingers are tired

love you byyyyyeeeeeeeeee