#But in reality they are off planning something

[takes1]

asahi x feral reader w/ a size k!nk

this was indulgent for me. asahi is def a favorite of mine. idk where the kuroo's little sister idea really stems from, but it just came to me and worked with my prompt (mostly adding conflict/humor). thirsty lead-up to some pay-off smut

warnings. asahi thirst. eventual smut. minors DNI info. lite!nsfw to future smut / gentle giant!asahi / asahi appreciation / size kink / kuroo's sister!reader / kuroo cockblocking / 860 words / multi-part smut so reply to be added to taglist! haikyuu collection. more here. part two here. more links. masterlist. my ao3. requests/submissions: open

Great, hulking muscles slammed a ferocious serve through the other side of the court. An easy point for his team.

Screams of adoration from Karasuno supporters and his own teammates echoed in your ears: Asahi.

Yeah, that was a name you could get used to screaming.

Your jaw was on the floor. Your trembly hands seized the railing to keep your wobbly body barely upright. The sigh you gave felt like it lasted minutes, so when you went to gasp for more air, it sounded like a demented groan.

"I need him biblically," You heard yourself declare.

It may have been the show of force, but there was something about a kind face attached to that weapon of a body that set your senses on fire. You were already crafting plans to seduce him after the game, making fictional arrangements to ensure you could be under him in the shortest wait time possible.

"What?" Your friend laughed at you, a hand on your shoulder to jerk you back to reality.

You were on the opposite side of the court, after all. What you could see of him was through the net.

That was not your team by any means- you were connected to the one in front of you by blood.

"Number 3," You sighed, leaning against the railing. Maybe you'd fall into the court and he could catch you in his big arms. Then, you'd start making out and--

"Yaku??" She laughed.

"No!" You made a disgusted sound, "God, not-- Karasuno number three!"

Her laughter only made you feel like talking to him was as realistic as Nekoma winning right now. With a 7-point difference, it was pretty self-explanatory.

"Yaku's not that bad," She grinned at your eyes rolling all the way back into your skull, "Hey! You've gotta calm down."

Your head was on your arms, crumpled against the railing. There was no chance in Hell you'd let this opportunity slip from your fingers.

The energy pumping through you was straight-up biological.

It was the only explanation for a need that went this deep, so strong that it carried your legs down the stands and into the hallway behind the gymnasium after the game was over.

This deranged arousal only felt out of place when your brother stopped you from moving further down, to where Karasuno was packing their gear up.

"Woahwoahwoah," Kuroo narrowed his eyes at you and spun you around by your shoulder, "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

He knew something was up. There was a sick scheme playing out in your eyes.

He glanced from you, to the rowdy group of giants the next space over, then back to you with a harder look.

"None of your business," You spat, thinking him funny to try to get in your way like this in front of people. He usually acted like you were the dirt on the bottom of his shoe in public.

You only went to his games to spot cute boys, anyway. This time you were actually successful and felt so inclined as to approach said-cute-boy.

"Let go," You wrenched your arm out of his gross, sweaty hand and scoffed, walking off towards Karasuno's beautiful, meaty Ace.

There was a muttered, 'Whatever,' and you knew he didn't care enough to foil your plans again. They did just lose.

The thought crossed your mind to remove your Nekoma school hoodie only after it was too late. Karasuno spotted some enemy colors and quieted upon your approach.

Any confidence you had gathered shrank tenfold-- but you locked in on the subject of your desire and remembered your divine mission.

Get railed. This week.

That wouldn't happen if you backed down now or fucked up the plan.

He was in the center of his team, so you had to give some small 'Excuse me's to get to who you were here for.

Shocked, silent looks were exchanged all around when you stopped in front of him at last.

You were gathered in a sea of players, trapped to carry out the reason that brought you here.

"Um," You found it impossible to look at his face, so you looked forward at his chest while you gathered the courage, "That was a good game."

You tried to swallow the growing need to scream when you looked up. He had facial hair, you realized- his eyes were deep brown, his skin dark tan, and he was one of the two tallest on the team.

It occurred to you that you picked the biggest, baddest guy in this hall.

You grabbed his hand and deposited a piece of paper inside, "Call me."

Unable to look at his face again, you decided that was enough to get your point across and sifted through the gathered crowd of Karasuno's team members.

With your back turned, head swimming with regret at your forwardness, you couldn't see nor understand the strangled sounds of teenage boys celebrating their cowardly ace getting a cute girl's number like that.

Pushing, pulling, laughing, shoving, and other celebratory verbalizations were far behind you when you joined Nekoma once again- your home team beyond curious as to what you did to make their rivals even louder.

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[revvethasmythh]

One thing I find really fascinating about this last ep is that the confrontation with Laudna, in Orym's own words, "brought [him] back to himself, a little bit." Because of this, he chose not continue his plan of using Ishta, a blade Dorian refers to as "clearly a threat." Orym turns away from it and admits it's probably a good thing he's been diverted from this path.

Meanwhile, both Laudna and Dorian use Orym and his (now defunct) desire for the sword as a point of comparison and/or mental justification for their own ill-advised risks. Laudna leads with, "Just as Orym wishes to wield that sword, I wish to wield Delilah" (obviously this was said before Orym gave up the sword, but his doing so has not, as far as we know, dissuaded her from this path at all), and Dorian holds the Gambler's Blade "thinking to himself about Orym last night, and how serious he was, how dedicated he was to the cause of wanting this sword that was clearly a threat" and sits with the reality of the situation he's in and decides to take an extra risk on his own life.

All three of them, in some manner, are pinging on the same concept: that the stakes to this fight are enormous and taking a massive risk might be necessary to finish this mission. But in this specific scenario, Orym is the one who backed off, re-evaluated his position, and decided the potential risk (to both the cohesion of the team, and his own mental health/morality, presumably) wasn't worth it. But the impression was already made. Laudna still wants to bring Delilah into this fight (something she'd already basically decided, but chose here to really double down on), and Dorian made the active decision to lower his chance of survival for a better chance to hit. Both of them doing the opposite of what Orym ultimately did, while still keeping Orym in their minds as they do so.

[kuro4thegays]

- Steam

[Word count: 3.2k] [Dr. Ratio x male!reader] [Content: nsfw, top Veritas, bottom reader, hot spring date, just the slightest bit of angst, misunderstandings, reader may be depressed, but also a bit silly at times, massages, anal fingering, lots of steam, spanking, orgasm denial, anal, love bites]

“Why do you cover yourself even when no one is watching?” The words echoed inside your mind, bubbling up like their only purpose was tormenting you. You wrapped that soft towel around your body like a shield, all while setting your feet down into the steamy water.

You sighed, rubbing your cold shoulders. The towel was the only thing keeping your upper body somewhat of a regular temperature. You looked down into your own reflection, silently judging the face that greeted you in the water. Well, greet wasn't a very precise term. Your reflection only mimicked the same judgmental look you gave it, yet there was something in the back of your head that forced you to keep looking. Hatred always had its way with you.

“Sorry for keeping you waiting. I hope you didn't get too bored without me.” That warm, familiar voice stole your attention like it meant nothing. You raised your gaze back to reality. There he was, Veritas Ratio, the man that striped your heart right out of your chest and now just won't give it back.

“It’s really no issue.” You averted your gaze, seeing the doctor in general made your heart race, but God, you don’t think you can handle looking at his bare figure, only slightly concealed by that towel he wore around his waist. “I can wait. It's really fine.” Perhaps there was something more you wanted to say, yet ultimately chose silence. 

"No, no it's my fault. I don't want such a brilliant mind to waste its time just on waiting." Veritas joined you on the edge of the hot spring. Was he just trying to fluster you with those words? Regardless, you returned your sights back onto the water's surface. Too bad that even there he couldn't avoid his face.

"Shall we? You must feel cold by now." His hand found its way to that small exposed bit of your back, causing you to immediately straighten your posture. One can imagine that while enveloped within the cold breeze Veritas' touch would feel twice as hot.

"Mm... Yeah." You answered, finally taking a chance to gaze into the doctor's eyes. "I think I'm ready.”

Veritas unwrapped the towel from your body, exposing your figure to the warm waters. Just like that, he nodded and gave you an encouraging push, not enough for you to fall into the water, but enough to lead you into its inviting warmth. Finally, coaxed by Veritas' gentle touch, you pushed yourself off the edge and into the hot spring.

“Ah, feels nice, doesn’t it?” The professor sighed, stretching his muscular back before leaning back onto the rocky surface behind him. Almost like inviting you over, he tapped the spot next to himself.”It’s not bad.” Upon request you joined him, leaning down until the water reached your neck.

“Are you feeling okay? You seemed kind of out of it just a moment ago.” He dared to bring up the difficult questions, gently rubbing your waist under the water.”Do you wish to talk about it…or maybe something more physical is what you need?” He affectionately nuzzled  your neck, the warmth of his being rivaling that of the hot spring itself. How could he caress you so lovingly, you couldn’t help but wonder. Almost like on instinct you leaned back into the warm touch, craving it more with each passing moment. You were ready for it to be taken away at any second.

“Yes, please.” The words came out more desperately than you had planned them to. Uncertain would be a fitting description.

“Would a massage suffice?” Veritas’ hands slid all the way from your waist up to your shoulders, guiding you to the edge where you could lean for support. “Maybe it wouldn’t have come to this if you had listened to me when I told you to take a break.” But it wouldn’t be Veritas if his tender touches weren’t mixed with a heavy dose of scolding. “But you just had to continue on with your stubborn ways.”

“You just love being correct, don’t you?” Without thinking you spouted your retort. Your shoulders tensed only slightly, yet that alone told Veritas enough.

“Oh, believe me. In this case I really wish I wasn’t.” He trapped your smaller frame against the cool edge of the lake using his larger body, making it so that you weren’t able to escape the situation like you had many times before.”You-” “I’m not done talking.” Veritas shushed you with ease. Now the only thing separating you was the water's gentle embrace. “Are you aware of how much energy I spend just thinking and worrying about you? How many nights I have spent awake because of your idiocy?” He didn’t let go even when you tried to avert your gaze, no, he got even closer. “You can’t even imagine how much it hurts when you do these stupid things to yourself. And can’t you at least look at me when I’m talking to you?”

Veritas’ voice finally did something to earn your attention back, even if only for a moment. Your eyes looked into his for maybe a millisecond before the doctor tried to get closer, causing you to ultimately close them shut yet again. Only then did it hit Veritas in the head how he must have sounded like. “Hey, [name], I… I didn’t mean it like that. I just feel like…” The genius was so quickly reduced to a stuttering mess at the sight of his love in fear. Words managed to fail him like they never did, so he shut his mouth and tried a different approach.

“Veritas-” You gasped upon contact, pulled down into the water’s warmth until not even your shoulders were exposed to the cool breeze. Veritas held you tight, his grip not lacking in either strength nor warmth, firm and affectionate it was. He was not letting go, not now, not ever.

“Veritas… I’m fine.” You whispered, yet your trembling voice didn’t do much to ease the doctor’s worries. “I just..  I don’t know what is it with me today.” You hugged back, well, closer to clung back to the larger male’s form. “I’m sorry.”

“Shh, don’t be. It was me that got carried away.” He reassured, burying his head into the crook of your neck. Such an emotional moment it was, shame that it had to end so clumsily. Your feet eventually tangled together, sending you down face first into the water. Veritas wasn’t happy with this, there was no world where he would have been happy with this, yet at the moment he couldn’t stop laughing. His poor lungs were probably desperate for air.

Eventually, Veritas pulled both of you out, that wide uncharacteristic grin still shamelessly gracing his face. He ran his hand through his wet hair, pulling his bangs back. You could only stare. You had almost forgotten all the dark thoughts that plagued you earlier. That was just what Veritas did to you. “Why are you staring at me like that?” Veritas' grin morphed into a proud smile. Perhaps you did something to him too. “You said you didn’t want to get your hair wet.” You chuckled, eyes not leaving the larger male’s for even a moment. You traced your hand along Veritas’ forearms, fingertips only gently caressing his form. “You mentioned that massage, didn’t you?”

Veritas tensed up a bit, back straightening before taking up the challenge. “Do you honestly think that I wouldn’t hold up to my word?” He scoffed even just at the thought. “It wasn’t my intention to imply anything.” You teased back, that shine in your eyes returned like it never went missing in the first place. The terminal waters were only further raising the tension between the two. Light steam oozed from the pool of the water before sensually dancing in the air around them.

“Come here.” Veritas gently pushed you against the edge of the spring, his chest making contact with your naked back “Relax now, love. I got you.” His hot, steamy breath could be felt all the way down your exposed, vulnerable neck. He striped you bare of all control, yet also of all your stresses. Your body melted into the doctor’s first touch, the soft kneading motion of his hands causing a sensation comparable to heaven itself. It started with only your shoulders, the muscle fully giving into the affectionate motions. Your lower back was not neglected either. 

“Can you feel that? Doesn’t it feel nice to let me take care of you for once?” His hands found that one particular knot that has been causing you trouble without you even knowing it, at least that would explain the uncharacteristic, explicit moan that left your choked throat. You arched your back, perhaps on impulse. That said, Veritas did not miss the chance to feel you up. “It’s nice.” The words escaped your lips. You leaned into the touch, the doctor’s hand expertly maneuvering your body like it was made all for him. You, of course, didn’t mind this at all, other than the quite distracting heat rising in his lower stomach. “I want more of you.” Your words were immediately answered with a pinch on the nipple. You gasped, the sensitive pink buds hardening after only a few squeezes. Instead of relaxation, Veritas’ massage only induced the opposite, excitement.

“I know, darling, I know.” Just like he could give pleasure, he could also take it away. He let go of your perky, pink nipples, returning his hands to your back. “But I need you to relax if you want more.” His feathery touch moved down to your soft cheeks, massaging the fat of your ass. Your breath hitched, you knew where this was going and your patience was running low. “Veritas…” You whined, but only received a slap to the ass. “Patience breeds success.” Veritas spoke his usual wisdom, though something told him that maybe it might have been uncalled for. But you bit your tongue. You pushed your rear into Veritas’ hand, hoping that the action will inflict impatience on him too.

It seemed to have worked. You felt that familiar hardness brushing against your soft ass, touching you so teasingly, making you lose your mind. Though, you were shortly rewarded. Out of nowhere, you felt a singular finger stab through your pucker hole, eliciting just the softest moan to slip out of your precious lips. You gripped onto the lake’s moist edge for much needed aid. “Just one finger in and you completely fall apart. My, I wonder how much could you really take?” He emphasized the words with a hit to the prostate, feeling the fleshy walls almost immediately clenching around his digits. It didn’t take long before the second one joined into the mix, the needy moan that spilled from your lips just a moment ago now mutating into a loud whine. “Please Veritas. It’s not enough.” You cried out, feeling as if that sweet spot deep inside you was being set ablaze.

“Say it again and I might consider it.” He dared to make such an order. If the scenario was any different you would have scoffed, yet horniness has its way with making all shame dissipate. “Please.” 

Veritas had enough mercy to make that ‘maybe’ into a definite ‘yes’. The third finger slid in just as easily as the first two, stretching you open with no resistance other than the periodic clenching. “Is this how you like it? Or was it something else you were begging for?” Veritas asked, but only received an absentminded, but nothing short of enthusiastic nod. That was enough for him to understand his love’s wishes. 

“Fine, I think you deserve it.” His fingers left a vacant hole inside you, but reassurance came when you felt the throbbing member sliding between your cheeks. “You can take it, I’m sure of it.” You could only gulp nervously at the doctor’s words, feeling your own burning saliva sliding down your dry throat. The open mouth kiss Veritas left on your neck sent you over the edge. You aligned yourself with Veritas’ pulsing erection, your body practically begging for penetration. And your love gave in.

Veritas stabbed into your tight ass, penetrating the petite entrance inch by inch before bottoming out completely. “God, you’re so fucking tight.” You could feel the rhythmic throbbing of his dick, your nice butt swallowing each pulse of his erection. Veritas started out slowly, dragging his dick out before slamming right back in with force. His dick felt like it was burning inside your heat. In this state of mind and body your neck felt like the tastiest treat. He started out with only gentle kisses, following with the kisses that would leave lasting bruises before finally biting fully down and piercing the thin layer of skin, provoking a choked scream to break the otherwise peaceful night. 

His thrust only got faster, even if little by little. The choked scream was only built upon by much meeker whimpers uncontrollably seeping out of your needlessly addictive lips. Your nipples weren’t forgotten either. Just a single pinch and your voice rose in pitch. Veritas flickered his thumb over the hardening button, leaving it even more sensitive. “Ah.. hah.. Too- Too much.” You babbled.

“Too much? Already?” Veritas raised a singular eyebrow. “Come on, you know there is even more to come, right? I haven’t even started with you.” Just as promised, Veritas’ pace accelerated, causing the once tranquil water to now violently splash against the many rocks that built the lake. His kisses were wet, needy and absolutely devouring, attacking just the sweetest flesh of your neck. And the lewd sounds coming from your hoarse throat served as only further motivation. Though he still had some of that gentleman left in him, enough that he would never let you poor leaking cock neglected. He squeezed your shaft, perhaps too roughly at first, before starting to pump at an almost equal pace to his thrust. Considering this, the arch of your back that followed should have been expected. You pushed your ass into him while your front was still clawing at the lake's solid border. Drool slid down your chin, the absolute disheveled state you were in causing the other male's rock hard dick to twitch.

“You like that, don't you?” Suddenly, he stopped. His large hands moved up from your waist, running up your side before settling on your chest. “You like it when I grope you like this. You like it when I worship your body.” You could feel his hot breath crawling down your spine, starting from your flushed, red ears all the way down. “Admit it. Say it out loud.” His words could barely count as whispers. 

You gulped. It wasn’t that you couldn’t admit it, it was just that you couldn’t catch your breath. “Mmm…” You mumbled, but the way Veritas grabbed your chin told you that he wasn’t quite pleased. “Use your words.” He turned your head to get a better look, watching your oh so perfectly fucked out face. “Y-Yes-” A slap to the ass was the only thing you received, but the stinging pain already told you everything. “I… I like the way you touch my body. Please, do it again.” You said, but his silent gaze didn’t do much to reassure you. Lucky, you got that reassurance in other ways. He pulled you into a hot, deep kiss, his tongue breaching the barrier of your lips and getting right to that tasty spot that made kissing you so addictive. 

He dropped that cold mask and moaned into your mouth, the shameful sound something he would never in any scenario let anyone hear, but you proved to be quite the exception for him in most things in life. You could melt just in the kiss itself, but oh when you felt his dick move inside you again, you could have dropped to your knees right then and there. He began moving his hips again, hitting that sensitive bundle of nerves hidden deep inside your passage repeatedly until all the thrusts merged together. He caught up to the previous pace, hungry hands reaching for your erect member with a carnal need before beginning to pump in the same rhythm with each strike. 

“Fuck…” The words got lost in the kiss. “You feel so good.” His nails dug into your hips, the slight surge of pain nothing compared to the overwhelming pleasure. “I… I think that- ngh, I’m close.” Veritas lost control of his own hips, sloppy, but fast, thrust setting fire ablaze inside you. The act itself would have heated up your body on its own, but combined with the hot spring’s steamy water sweat was sure to stick to your body like a second skin. “Veritas, I can’t… hold it in.” You whined and, finally, after just a few pumps you screamed out his name, your whole body spasming as your cute cock sent its filthy, sinful load into the pure, clean thermal water, staining what some would refer to as holy sight. And with how tightly you clenched around the man it was only natural that he would follow. Veritas’ deep groan, hoarse from pleasure, echoed through the silent night as he practically erupted inside your tight little hole, feeling how its walls squeezed every single bit of cum out of him. Your bodies molded together for only a brief moment, but even in such a short time your pleasure felt like his and his felt like yours. 

But eventually, you both fell from the shared high, bodies sore from all the action. But even the painful soreness was something Veritas wanted to share with you. The doctor’s tight grip relaxed, leaving red spots where he once held you in place like a hungry animal, though what came after felt equally loving. He nuzzled your abused neck, the poor thing left bruised, before inhaling your scent, not the one of your cologne, but the one your sweaty body oozed with on its own accord. He moaned, probably for the last time tonight, at the feeling of his now softening dick snugly hidden within your passage, he could stay like this forever.

“Such sounds don’t suit you, doctor.” You teased, leaning back into the safe embrace. “That’s because they were only meant for you.” In a somewhat strange moment of vulnerability, he kissed your earlobes, whispering such sweet words that you couldn’t believe it was him.

“Really?” You asked, trying to sound ever so sarcastic in an attempt to hide the fluttering feeling that raged inside your heart. “Then I think it’s better if this stayed just between the two of us.” He was quick to nod at your proposal, not even sparing a moment. “I think so too.”

You looked back down at your own hand, noticing your smooth skin morphing into wet wrinkles. “Maybe we should go dry ourselves before we get all wrinkly.”

“Just give me a few more minutes. I want the moment to soak in.” Reason told him otherwise, but his mind has already fallen into the love’s trap. The roles were now reversed and you couldn’t help yourself from commenting. “Such foolish words, I expected better from someone of your capabilities.” Though another, more annoyed, slap to the tush was enough to make you reconsider your words.

[Writer’s note: it's been a while, hasn't it? I started writing physically recently. Spend a notebook in like two weeks. This was supposed to be finished earlier. Oh well... As you might have seen in my answers life has not been so good to me lately. Thankfully, this tough patch might be ending soon. I just have to survive another month and I'm done. Perhaps I'll be posting more then.]

[blackcathjp]

any smut fic recs? 👀

OOOH YES!! my main consumption is literally 90% pwps and/or contains smut, and about 95% are dmhp fics 🫣 i do enjoy plot-heavy fics, but i like when there is spice!

i made this drarry praise kink fic rec list before, check that out! here are some other ones:

***

all hues in his controlling by wolfpants (1k)

harry de-ages himself for kinky birthday sex with draco. morally grey and hot indulgence of age difference and virginity kink.

the best treasure is up harry's arse by bafflinghaze (2k)

bratty harry feat. draco's dirty mouth and obsession with his arse. ticks off all the kinks i want in a fic 🥴

smart brevity by lucifergraced (3k)

draco malfoy is an arse man. he likes what he sees, he will take what he wants. uniform kink and fingers in mouth. that's it.

arms and elbows by iota_after_dark (3k)

harry is desperate to please draco, which means trying something new - fisting. draco is so bossy and hot here. also they're weirdo roommates w/ zero boundaries lol.

dirty fucking dangles by p1013 (5k)

hockey players who get the hots for e/o's impressive athleticism. is it normal to have a crush on someone who will literally crush and bruise you on the ice? not unless you like impact play!

all i have to do by fluxweed (9k)

draco expects a hyper-realistic sexual fantasy and unknowingly ends up w/ the real deal. harry leaves hermione hanging for an hour to indulge in this sudden dreams-come-true sexcapade. oops.

just a trial run by tenthousandyears (9k)

d/s fic that blew my mind. plays with alcohol kink, praise kink, "sex worker" kink, consensual dub-con, and more. discovering what they like and realizing they love e/o by doing lots of debauchery!

the complete idiot's guide to losing your entire mind by oknowkiss (10k)

utterly depraved. no nut november concept where draco greedily controls harry's orgasms and harry is super sex-dumb. i love the pipeline of fwb to "i love you, didn't you know we've been dating?"

two weeks by shiftylinguini (21k)

overprotective possessive veela harry, who is emotionally sick until he "meaningfully connects" w/ his important person... aka, draco! the sexual tension and pining is portrayed so well, and creatively manifests in harry's new veela body. i love this wry humor, no-nonsense draco so much.

lusimeles by orphan_account (23k)

devastatingly tender. harry is self-destructive in dealing w/ his trauma, but Mr. Draco Malfoy wrecks his plans. draco just knows what needy harry wants and needs, which is to be taken care of, loved, and kept. i love this line from harry: "how nice it was to be understood without words." 🥹

only for october by dodgerkedavra (53k, wip)

lovely fic disguised as an unassuming "fwb have a kinky month of sex" story. drarry deal with inner demons by taking care of e/o through sex to ground themselves in reality. they fall in love in the process AND there's an intriguing mystery plot. it's so good.

whisky-tango-foxtrot by vukovich (58k)

transformed my life. i've read this like 5 times? unrelentingly absurd and over-the-top funny with refreshing characterization and humor. drarry's animagus traits seep into their human behaviors, leading to adrenaline junkie, horny trashy slut harry x inexperienced, dramatic, mate-for-life draco. this fic isn't for everyone, but it's a hot wild ride.

[mothinabottle]

(Warning for hints at spoilers from some events below 😮)

Sydney, who practically glues themselves to the pews at the temple after you are gone. The scarf you left behind clutched tightly by their hands as they pray day and night.

They can only hope you are safe wherever you are, that the mission Jordan entrusted you with will go smoothly and you'll be back soon enough, reassuring them with your sole presence

But a month passes and you are still not by their side. The spear returns, yet you are missing. The temple's chants, the excitement for the holy item's appearance can barely reach them through the overwhelming sorrow that consumes their very soul. What is there to celebrate if you are not here? If their dreams are the only way for them to see you, how can they even face reality?

You are a liar, and them a fool for not doing more to protect you. If they had been stronger, maybe more courageous. If only they had gone there instead of you...

So they choose to believe, to ignore it all. If one more month passes, it doesn't matter: they know you'll be back...right?

Somehow, it feels as if a part of their life they managed to forget is repeating...

________________________

Whitney, who managed to send you off to the underground brothel, a stash of cash safe in their pocket as they go back home. Smirk plastered in their face, gloating about finally teaching you a lesson after you humilliated them in front of the whole school all this time.

Still, something doesn't feel right.

Finding themselves waiting for an annoying face when they are loitering under the rain, scribbling notes for someone who isn't in class, passing by the same alleyway thrice in silent hopes to see the one who only appears in missing posters.

Their mood sours, dreams haunted by snippets of memories where you are by their side. This wasn't how things were supposed to go after getting rid of you for good.

Perhaps a strong drink might help kill that weird gross feeling that has been pooling in their heart for these past few weeks. A trip to the local bar with their friends, the promise of some casual sex with a random whose face they won't remember.

But when the moment of truth comes, it's your face that replaces the one of their new conquest. Tugging at the strings of their heart with that insufferable smile you always seemed to have.

What's more pathetic than finding out your are in love while throwing up in a filthy alleyway? Alone, their mind racing to understand that that weird feeling has always been regret and sorrow...

Because they loved you, in their own twisted way, and there's no going back to how things used to be before.

Wasn't actually planning to write these as they are part of comics I wanted to do. However, I highly doubt I'll be able to, since time is limited and I am already dying over here, buried in studies and stuff.

_______________

Note: I want to draw but I am extremely sick, so you guys will only get my brainrot for now :(. Sorry

If it's written like ass, sorry. I did this in the bus I take back home while I had a horrible fever ;; (Though I promise I'll get better at this with time...Maybe)

[fwkiera]

Chocolate🍫

summary: you and chan found something on the internet about some kind of chocolate. a thing called “aphrodisiacs”. both of you were excited for this experience but didn’t know what would happen after..

genre: smut wit some fluff (aftercare)

pairings: bang chan x fem reader

warnings: unprotected p in v, pet names (baby girl, princess) lmk if i missed any !

a/n: this was inspired by another writter but i don’t really remember who exactly. i hope you guys enjoy🎀

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chan was scrolling through the internet about something called “aphrodisiacs” in chocolate form. it’s something that you would eat but there’s a slight twist. it makes people that eat it unbelievably horny. you’re only supposed to eat a little piece of it to feel the effects start to kick in a few hours later. when you walked into his room, you couldn’t see what he was looking at so you hopped onto the bed next to him.

“what are you looking at hmm?” staring at him with the eyes you know he hates (buts secretly loves) “nothing, just searching up a thing i found” he smiled widely, making your heart melt

you saw that he immediately ordered it and it would be at the door in about 2 hours. he giggled slightly and closed his laptop.

“i think you’ll like this very much, princess” whispering soothingly against your ear as he winks and gets up to shower.

you didn’t know what to expect so once the chocolates finally arrived at the door, you hear chan run to grab them. he swings the door open, picks up the chocolate n asks “wanna try some ?” without showing you what could be on the packaging.

while you roll your eyes at his child like behavior for some chocolate, you take a huge piece and break it off the bar. he was stunned at how much you ate cause you’re only supposed to eat a little. chan read online that if you ate too much that the effects would last way longer. guess he didn’t mind though cause that just means more fun for him.

“why are you giggling over there ?” you say while still chewing the chocolate. “nothing, just thinking about some things” he answers ands pops some of the chocolate in his mouth too.

around 2 hours went by but you start to feel hot and bothered. like an aching sensation in your now throbbing pussy. Chan notices you rubbing your thighs together for friction so he stops to ask “what’re you doing?” his hand on your thigh brought you back to reality but you don’t answer his question. instead you turn away, ears and face burning red.

the hand that was only on your thigh a few moments ago was now trailing up to your now covered and wet cunt. this makes chan laugh softly and he takes away his hand just to tease you, knowing well that he needed you as well. those chocolates must’ve started kicking in already.

you pouted a little but came up with a plan. when you looked over to chan and basically eye fucked him, you stared at his raging bulge underneath his pants. he was trying to stay calm and collected since he was trying to tease you but you weren’t having any of it. slowly you scooted closer to him and put one leg over on his right side. now, you were just hovering over his lap. putting your hand on his chin and slowly brought your lips closer to his and once you see him close his eyes, you pull away laughing.

seemed like he wasn’t having it today either so he grabs onto your hips and pulls you down so you aren’t hovering over his lap anymore. the chocolate made both you and him sensitive so the sudden contact made you both moan.

“someone’s needy today..” he says, his voice is soft and raspy. you continue the slight conversation with “i could say the same about you.” as you pointed to his boner. chuckling a bit.

he wasn’t slightly embarrassed about when he starts rocking your clothed pussy against his bulge. the friction wasn’t enough so you unbuckled his pants and pulled it down a bit so you could see the tent that was already formed on his boxer. tracing your fingers over his covered cock as he winced from the pleasure. you could see the pool of pre cum already sitting there and you decided to stop torturing him and yourself from the pleasure that’s about to come.

you pulled his boxers and pants off finally as it pooped at his ankles. he kicks it off and you finally take your shorts off as well. the both of you were almost completely bare but still had your shirts on.

he lines himself up against your entrance. at this point you were already wet enough and didn’t need any preparation so once he slowly put himself inside of you, you just force it down to feel the stretch. the deep groan that chan let out and your loud whimper mixed together should be put in a song, chan thought to himself.

once you slowly started riding him and listening to each grunt and moan that he let out, you were positive the neighbors could hear it but you could care less.

this position just wasn’t doing it for the both of you so he picked you up and threw you on your back so he could get better access. it worked cause it had you a moaning mess. he didn’t mind though, he loved seeing you like this for him.

he nuzzled himself into the crook of your neck while still going at the same speed. he bit and licked marks into your neck that would later bruise and turn into hickeys. “god i love you so much baby girl.” he whispers into your neck making you tear more. you couldn’t get any words out but you would make sure to tell him later as well as show him how much you love him as well.

the knot in your stomach started to form and so did the knot in his. “i’m cumming, where do you want me to cum ?” he asks but you just wrap your legs around his waste which was a signal for him to stay inside. a loud moan just released from out of his mouth as he finishes inside of your hot walls. the thought made you clench and spasms as well. the knot in your stomach finally coming undone. he continued to ride out yours and his orgasm which you winced at the pain from overstimulation.

chan slowly pulled out and ran to get warm wet towels and start a bath for both you and him. when he picked you up and placed you into the bath with him going in second, he washed your hair and cared for you while asking a bunch of questions “was i too rough?” “god i’m sorry baby girl i didnt mean to” “are you ok?” “do you need anything ?” you just giggled at his questions and kissed him while telling him that it was perfect. he smiled into the kiss and continued to wash your hair.

once you both were done finally, he picked you up and placed on in the cold counter. he dried you off and even put your clothes on even though you insisted you could do it yourself. he was too stubborn tho and said that he wanted to do it for you. the small gesture made you blush as he puts you on the bed next to him and spoons you.

“wanna do it again another time ?” he asks while you face him. “i guess soooo.. “ you say trailing off sarcastically. he laughs and pulls you in more.

minutes later, you hear your boyfriend, chan, snoring right next to you. since he was sleeping you might as well get some sleep too. nuzzling up into his chest and 5 minutes later, both of you are asleep.

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a/n: hope y’all enjoyed ☝️ honestly i really don’t know how to write sex scenes so i’m still trying to learn. sorry if it’s a little bad😞 write me if y’all have any requests btw ! i’ll gladly write them

[batsycline69]

Night & Day

Summary: Jason's night doesn't go as planned. As a result, neither does yours.

Pairing: Jason Todd x GN!Reader

Words: 4,365

Content/warnings: profanity, canon-typical violence, mentions of blood

PREV

Jason wakes in a sweat.

He’s had this dream before; his body throbs, slick and sticky with blood. Each hit of the crowbar jerks his body.

He pushes himself up from the bed, his feet meeting the cold wood floors beneath him. He huffs, his head falling in his hands as he slumps towards his knees.

There’s no blood. Hell, there aren’t even the scars to prove what he went through anymore. It’s just Jason trapped in his own mind. The laughter echoes in his ears long after he wakes up, but the pain eventually fades into the back of his mind, a lingering nagging as he tries to grip onto reality and find something to distract himself.

Lines of light fall across the floor from the streetlamps pouring in through the venetian blinds. He’s been meaning to get curtains. He feels too exposed, even if the blinds are always shut.

When he was first resurrected, there were only so many memories he had to comfort himself with. Anything from his life with Bruce was immediately off limits, so he usually sought out Talia. The comfort she’d managed to offer him after all of that just by showing a little kindness.

A few days ago, he met you. You’d been kind to him too.

He told you to just call a ride instead of taking the train. He knew what happened in this neighborhood at that time of night. But you didn’t listen.

Jason knew you weren’t going to get onto that train without a hitch. He chose following you over the stupid drug bust. He figured there’d be time to take care of them later. He’d been right, of course, but after that, he froze.

You hadn’t been intimidated by him at the shop. But you’d seen him—the real him—and flinched. Not that he can blame you. It was a hell of an introduction on his part, barrel of his gun up against some guy’s head. In a city like Gotham? God, he could have been any creep.

But he’s him. He’s the same he’d been at the shop, but you don’t know that. And you can’t.

That doesn’t stop him from thinking of you. As he wakes from his nightmare, you’re there, and he’s not entirely sure why. Maybe because your kindness is so straightforward. It’s not shrouded by trauma and odd gestures meant to translate to kindness. You talked with him, laughed with him. You got him food that you insisted he eat.

You’re better off without him. There’s a natural path for the two of you to never see each other again. It’s more work to not lose contact with you. Even with every part of him saying no, Jason makes the effort.

How’s your tattoo healing?

It’s still dark out, but it’s nearing 6 am now. As he sends the email, he hopes you get the idea he’s some sort of early riser. Maybe you think he’s less of a mess than he is. He’d let you think that, if you wanted to.

Part of him also worries about you. Not in some wild way, but after your close call with the guys at the train station, he doesn’t want you to be scarred for life. That may be overdramatic, but the point remains. That’s normal shit for him, but that’s not something you signed up for. That’s just the bi-product of living in Gotham.

His body collapses back into bed in a heap, his breath finally evening out. He’ll try to fall back asleep for at least an hour before he realizes it’s probably hopeless and gets up.

Mornings like this, he cooks. It passes the time. Dealers aren’t making deals this early. The shop doesn’t open until ten, but he sure as shit doesn’t want to be sitting around dwelling in his thoughts for longer than necessary.

So when Jason finally rises out of bed, he goes to the kitchen. He pulls out eggs and bread. Bacon, tomatoes, and cheese. Good salt, the salt that costs extra. He doesn’t have a lot of good these days, so he takes it where he can.

The Gotham underworld is lucrative, no surprise there. Jason has access to things he never would have as a kid. The sort of stuff he was introduced to at Wayne Manor. Except now Jason has them on his own terms. He didn’t need Bruce for it.

Bacon is on the stove sizzling as Jason’s old coffee machine gurgles. He’ll drink most of the pot by the time the sun rises. By now, there’s enough for him to focus on that he can push the dream to the back of his mind. He doesn’t need to think about the past. That’s why he has his plans. He has a future to look forward to. And if he has to be alive again, he’s going to make something of it.

Just the light above the stove is on. Jason likes the dark. Old habits and all that.

He fries up an egg until the ends get crispy. Toast, egg, sharp cheddar, bacon, and hot sauce. He takes a mug of coffee and his sandwich over to the small table up against the window and watches as the city wakes up.

It’s the most normal his day is going to look. These moments where his brain isn’t completely fixed on the job. He’s not trying to parse through whatever lying scumbag is coming into the shop. There’s no blood. It’s quiet.

The quiet is nice until it isn’t. Until it’s too quiet, and there’s nothing besides the quiet.

When he woke up, buried six feet under, it had been quiet. Except for his breathing. The claustrophobic weight. The crushing weight of the dirt as it pressed against him, as he fought to the surface.

You reply while he’s out taking his smoke break.

The tattoo itches, but it looks good, you say. I’ll send a picture once it’s healed.

His second appointment of the day, the one he goes to after he sees your email, is the type he usually sees. Some asshole that wants a skull on his arm to prove he’s tough. Someone who definitely isn’t you. But it’s not his place to wish it was. He feels ridiculous being so attached to you like a lost little puppy.

He wants to think of an excuse to see you again, but his mind is blank. Can’t just lure you to a dark alley for a chat like the people he’s normally trying to get in touch with. Yet again, just trying to be a regular person, he falls short. He doesn’t know how to navigate this. He spent the years he was supposed to figure this shit out in a box beneath the earth. As much as Talia taught him when he came back, he didn’t get flirting lessons.

There’s so much he doesn’t know about you. Sure, he could dig around and fight out a thing or two. That’s what Bruce would do, but he’s not Bruce. He doesn’t want to do that with you. He wants to just be Jason in your eyes, so that means keeping Red Hood as far away from you as possible.

Are you taking care of it?

It’s not flirting. It’s not smooth, either, but it does keep the conversation going.

During his next appointment, he has to push you to the back of his mind. The guy ends up being a small-time dealer. A guy who works for a guy who works for a guy sort of dealer. His license was scanned when he came in for the tattoo, and that means Jason has his address. There’s a lot he can learn from a license, assuming it’s real. Lucky for Jason, the dealer wasn’t smart enough to use a fake. Now he’s got a new lead, more heads to bust.

After the shop closes, he goes home. As he’s researching, he gets another response.

Yeah, I’ve been going swimming every day and using dish soap to keep it clean just like you said.

He smirks. You’re a smart-ass. That’s part of what he likes about you.

As he eats the leftover fried rice he heated up to the light of his laptop, he thinks about your appointment. The way you’d laughed over your dinner. The mischievous look in your eye as you teased him. He wished he had paid closer attention to that look because when he thought of you now, he saw that look of fear. That look directed at him. Guilt sat heavy in his chest because of it. You couldn’t trust him when he said he wasn’t going to hurt you. It was a good instinct. As much as it hurt, he wasn’t going to blame you for it.

Tonight, he’s going to kill. Becoming a crime lord isn’t pretty work, but he’s not about to shy away from it. If he has to spill blood, that’s what he’ll do. But he isn’t willing to risk that colliding into his memories of you either.

You’re separate from all of this.

Jason doesn’t regret being there for you at the train station. How could he? But at the same time, now you know, and that’s a liability. He doesn’t think you’d go around asking everyone, but he also doesn’t know you, and that fact remains even when his mind runs away from him to focus on your skin. Sure, Jason’s got the training to be able to read someone, but he’s not one to get too comfortable about such things.

This whole thing is still new. It’s precarious. Jason’s been back in Gotham weeks. There’s still plenty to be done, and he doesn’t need to be distracted.

Jason’s night doesn’t go as planned.

The dealers he’d been meeting with had gotten sloppy. A crew that got way too comfortable talking about sales in public. Batman got wind of it, but Jason was one step ahead. He got out minutes before Bruce arrived, and he didn’t leave anyone left alive to talk to. It’s messier than he’d like, but he doesn’t leave evidence. Whatever trail Bruce has picked up through them will run cold.

Just when he thinks he gets away without a hitch, he runs into the boss of the men unlucky enough to cross his path. He gets a shot in, but not before the boss grazed his thigh with a bullet. It bleeds, but it doesn’t go deep. Still, he can’t ignore it. He takes shelter in a residential area. He can keep a lower profile here if Batman is in the neighborhood, so he finds a dark alley to lick his wounds. He steams over how much carelessness has set him back, when a door slamming breaks his concentration.

And there you are.

You don’t see him in the darkness. You’ve got a bag of garbage in your hand heading towards the dumpster just a few feet away from where his back is pressed against the wall. It’s only a matter of time you see the faint glow from his mask, and he’ll see that same startled look on your face. He doesn’t want you to look at him in fear again.

The bag of trash clamors into the dumpster as you toss it in. You turn over your shoulder and freeze at the sight of someone standing just out of sight. And there’s that look. That same startled, caught in headlights look that’s been haunting him since he left you at the train station. He can’t stand it. So he raises his free hand and gives a small wave.

“Just me,” he says.

Recognition crosses your eyes as you fully find him in the shadows. “Oh,” you say, the sound getting drowned out by the light rain falling. Unconsciously—at least, he hopes—you take a half step away from him.

Yeah, maybe Jason should have thought this through a little more. So careful when he’s making his big plans, but all of the sudden, with you, he’s got his foot in his mouth and his brain where it shouldn’t be. Last you ran into him, he had been hidden out of sight, appearing suddenly to come to your rescue. And maybe doing the same thing outside where you presumably live isn’t a good look.

He should have gone on a rooftop somewhere.

“I was in the neighborhood,” he says.

It’s not a lie, but it’s not like the full version of the truth would offer you any comfort. I don’t think you’d like to hear that he’s on the run from Batman for killing a few guys. But is you potentially thinking he’s stalking you any better?

Your body is still rigid, hands stuffed deep in the pockets of your coat. “What are you doing down there?”

He wonders if you’ve got your pepper spray on him. You’d know better than to use it against him from your first run-in, but maybe you’re holding it now as a comfort. He’s not going to humor himself by believing you trust him. Even if he knows you’re safe with him, you don’t.

“Seemed like a good spot for a rest,” he replies.

The shadows across your face make it hard for him to really see where you’re looking, but he sees your back stiffen.

“Is that blood?” you ask, and now he’s sure your eyes are on his leg, fixed to the spot he was grazed. The concern is evident in your voice. Your eyes grow wide, and Jason all but sees the internal spiral happening on your face.

“Don’t worry, it’s mine,” he replies.

You stand, open-mouthed for a moment, the features of your face twisting further into confusion and worry. “Don’t worry?” you ask in disbelief. Your voice pitches slightly.

“Relax, it’s just a bullet graze. I’m fine.”

A moment of silence passes. Jason waits for the bleeding to slow a little. But once time passes without any sort of response from you, he looks up to catch your eyes wide in disbelief. Which is probably fair. At best, he sounds like an asshole being so casual about something like that. Sure, it’s Gotham, but even that’s a little much. Your obviously freaked out, and here he is acting cavalier.

Jason nods once. “Sorry. The people I’m usually around don’t get bothered about that sort of thing.”

You nod once, your arms crossing over your chest. “I bet.”

God, this is such a mess.

Your eyes flicker up from his wounded leg to the glowing white space where his eyes are beneath his helmet. Jason wishes so desperately to know what’s going on in your head. Do you see him as some sort of monster? Is there any bit of Jason you see beneath the helmet, even if you can’t actually know it’s him? Or has he blown all of this?

“Are you...okay?” you ask.

“I’ll be fine,” he says. “You don’t have to worry about me.” He thinks it’s silly you would in the first place. People have never worried about Jason; he’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself. You shouldn’t be the first one to take on the hopeless task of worrying for him, especially not over some graze. Especially not some graze relative to all of the other things that’s happened to him.

If this is what happens when he a bullet grazes his leg, he can’t imagine what you’d think of everything else.

“So...what’s your deal?” you ask cautiously.

“My deal?” Jason replies, even though he knows exactly what you’re asking.

“Yeah. I mean...what kind of guy in a mask are you?”

There’s a rough, modulated laugh from behind the helmet. “Well, I scared off those guys the other night, didn’t I? What kind of guy does that make me?”

“You scared them off with a gun.”

“And? They didn’t hurt you either way, right?” Maybe there was no room for you to see anything in Red Hood, and maybe he was foolish to think otherwise. He wonders if that still leaves any hope for you and Jason.

“And you conveniently are in the same place as me at the same time. I’m not sure what to make of that.”

“So you think I’m stalking you, huh?” he asks with a light laugh.

“I don’t see how that’s funny,” you reply.

You don’t trust him. There’s no hesitancy to voice your skepticism. He has to admire you just a little bit, even if it is a stupid idea to be arguing with the guy you know is carrying a gun. Now he’s the one who’s going to start worrying about you, as if that wasn’t already the case.

“You live in a shitty neighborhood. You’re gonna see guys in masks around here.”

“It’s Gotham. Most of the neighborhoods are shitty. Are you always this evasive?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

There’s a pause as you look him over carefully. Even if you don’t trust him, Jason doesn’t want that to be the case. He wants you to believe that he’s not a threat to you. Not on purpose, at least. He showed up at the train station because the thought of those guys laying a single hand on you made his stomach roll.

He wants you to trust him now like you had trusted him with your skin.

“Listen, I was working in the area. Swear to god, it was a coincidence. I needed someplace quiet to patch up. I didn’t know you were here.”

You don’t seem totally pleased with the answer, but he can tell you could maybe eventually buy it. Again, you watch him carefully for a minute. Gotham is singing her usual song around you, sirens and rain hitting the rooftops. Somewhere a few blocks away, Jason swears he can make out a fight.

“Are you blinking under there?” you ask, sounding a little unnerved by the constant glowing where he can see what’s going on.

He laughs lightly. “Yeah, I’m blinking under here.”

“I tried to thank you the other day, but you were gone already,” you finally say. “So, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Jason replies, even though he had heard it. When you were focused on the train rolling in, he’d slipped back into the shadows, waiting until the sounds of the train had long died down just to be sure there wasn’t anything else that was going to interrupt your trip home.

There’s another beat before he speaks again. “So are you okay?”

You look at him, slightly surprised. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you say. “Just glad you were there when you were.”

Jason nods. “Yeah, me too.”

“Are you okay?” you ask, your eye darting nervously back to his leg.

“I already told you, I’m fine.”

Your weight shifts. You’re hesitating, still not ready to accept his answer. “Do you...need anything?”

He wants to tell you not to offer help to guys like him. You’re being too nice, and not every guy is going to be like him. Maybe he’s just flattering himself, but he gets the idea this isn’t a universal openness. You’re testing the waters, weighing everything he says and does. He thinks about how you must be putting together one hell of a pros and cons list in your head right now.

Jason imagines what would happen if he said yes; maybe you would scurry up to your apartment. You would come back with three towels even if you thought he only needed one. You’d get him water or some food to keep his energy up. What would you bring out to share with the stranger who has a gun?

But Jason shakes his head. “I’m all set,” he replies. “Jacket’s got a lot of pockets.”

Thunder cracks overhead. You startle from the sound, gaze turning towards the sky as rain starts falling down harder around you both. With Jason’s helmet on, he’s not much bothered beyond the drops blurring his vision slightly, but you’re exposed.

“You should get inside,” Jason says, nudging his head back towards the door you came out of.

And, of course, you pause. He sees the way your eyes flicker nervously to his wound.

Jason shakes his head. “Don’t do it,” he says.

“Don’t do what?” you ask indigently.

“Invite me in to be polite and all that.”

You scoff. “Invite you in? Are you kidding me? You’ve given me next to no information about yourself. You’ve openly admitted you hang out with people who aren’t phased by getting shot--”

“’Hang out’ is an overstatement--”

“I am not inviting you up to my apartment. I’m sure you have dangerous friends you can stay with.”

With the helmet, you can’t see, but Jason smirks. You are warming up to him. The you from the shop is getting pulled out little by little. He’s glad to see you again.

When he doesn’t respond, you turn towards the door a little. “Well...good luck with your leg,” you say, fishing through your coat pockets. The movement picks up a little more, followed by a soft curse under your breath.

“Locked out?” Jason asks. He doesn’t bother to hide the pleased tone in his voice.

“I left my keys inside,” you grumble.

Jason rises to his feet, careful to stay off his wounded leg as much as possible. “Bummer,” he says. “Want me to pick the lock?”

You turn back over your shoulder, looking like you’re trying to suss out whether he’s joking or not. With the helmet on, he’s sure it’s hard to tell.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he reminds you. “Just gonna get the door open for you, and then I’m out of here. Promise.”

A bright flash of lightning illuminates your face, and you nod. “Okay.”

You take a step back from the door, letting him at the lock, gnawing on your lips nervously. “What if someone catches you?”

“I’m not worried about it,” he replies.

“And if someone catches me with you and I get evicted? I’m a little worried about that.”

“I get I’m not exactly at the top of the list of trustworthy individuals, but I’m going to need a little more confidence from you.”

There’s a crash of thunder. The rain gets even just a little bit heavier as Jason fiddles with the lock until it opens. It only takes him a few seconds, but you don’t comment on it. He’s not sure if it’s because you’re not surprised he can do it that quickly or because you’re exhausted with everything you’ve learned about him in the past few minutes.

You look at the open door, then back at him. “Thank you,” you say. It’s a little reserved, but he sees the echoes of you sitting in his station at the shop. A hint that maybe his chances aren’t so doomed as he worried.

“You’re welcome. Stay out of trouble.”

One last time, your gaze drops down to his thigh before looking back up. “You too,” you reply, letting the door slam shut behind you.

He should take this as his sign to leave, but he lingers a minute. It’s long enough for him to just barely hear a window slide open overhead.

Above him, he sees your head peek out over the ledge of your fire escape. Your building has the old kind, the wooden ones that are without a doubt a safety hazard. When you see him looking up at you, you quickly disappear out of sight again. The shyness is a little endearing, he has to admit. Not that he’s been doing a great job fighting it to begin with.

He can’t tell what you’re doing, but he knows you’re still out there. The top level is about as tall as the tracks above him. You live close to the station. That makes him feel a little bit better about your trip home after your tattoo. At least the time you were exposed to more trouble was cut down because of that.

There’s a little movement up on the fire escape. You hang something off the edge, but he can’t quite make out what. He sees the top of your head as you climb back through your window, and then the faint glow coming from your window goes dark.

Jason waits one second longer, trying to decide whether he’s meant to see what you’ve left him or not. He decides he is, and makes the trek up the rickety ladder. Some steps give a little from rot. Even if his leg isn’t wounded too badly, he does feel it each of the steps up. He wonders if you left everything up on the fourth floor where you live to spite him for being so nonchalant about getting hit.

When he finally makes it up to where you’ve left him a surprise, he sees your curtains are drawn shut. There’s no sliver of light peeking through. He wonders if you turned the lights off so he couldn’t see you trying to stay hidden while getting a look at him.

Hung over the railing is an umbrella. One he knows you didn’t have with you when you were out with him. You put it out here for him, even with his helmet on. Maybe as a thank you for helping you inside. Maybe as a way of toeing the line of you saying you won’t invite him in.

He could be anyone, but you gave away where you lived. He’d done enough for you to trust he wasn’t going to take advantage of this knowledge. But as the rain starts to get a little harder, he leans up against the brick of your building and opens up the umbrella. He can keep his leg dry until the rain lets up, at least.

Sitting out of the rain in the safety of your rickety fire escape, Jason makes the decision he’s going to ask you out for a drink tomorrow morning. Not him, Red Hood, but the tattoo artist. He knows for certain he’s not going to be able to keep you off his mind now.

He hopes tonight, he dreams of you.

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed, please consider giving this a reblog 💛

[m1ckeyb3rry]

── PEREGRINE // FOUR

Series Synopsis: The ways that you and Seishiro Nagi fall together and fall apart over the years.

Chapter Synopsis: You and May go dress shopping before heading to her house for some bonding time. There, she pieces together the truth of your past with Nagi, prompting you to finally reveal everything.

Series Masterlist

Pairing(s): Nagi x Reader, Kira x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 4.8k

Content Warnings: unhealthy relationships, cheating, non-linear narrative, probably ooc, angst, nagi is endgame, kira sucks, alternate universe, original characters

A/N: i have written and rewritten this chapter so many times it’s illegal and also i still hate it LMFAOAO but at this point the story must go on!!

divider credits: @/benkeibear

“Can we please please please come now?” Reo whined through the phone. You could imagine the way his eyebrows would be drawn together, his eyes huge and shiny with desperation, his mouth twisted with raw sadness as he begged you, and it made you huff. You glanced over at May, who had finally, after hours of trying things on, decided on the dress she wanted to wear for her wedding. Sensing the opportunity to mess with Reo, who had been inundating you with phone calls almost the entire time the two of you had been dress shopping, you smirked.

“No, you can’t. Your future wife is as picky as you are impatient; I don’t know if she’ll even be able to pick a dress before the place closes for the day. Maybe we can plan on doing something tomorrow?” you said.

“What?” he shrieked. There was a thudding noise over the receiver, and you could only imagine that that meant he had dropped his phone on the ground.

“Hello?” you said. Your only response was a shuffling on the other end of the line, and then a soft breath as the phone was held to someone’s ear.

“Y/N, don’t bother Reo like that when I’m responsible for his emotional wellbeing. It’s so annoying.”

“Nagi,” you said, swallowing at just the sound of his sleepy voice. “Give Reo his phone back.”

“Mm, no can do,” Nagi said, his quiet irritation so strong you could feel its weight settling over your shoulders despite your distance. “He’s run off to call a taxi.”

“Call a — that idiot! Is he planning on coming even though I told him not to?” you said.

“Guess so,” he said. “Oh, man, he’s waving me over. Guess I better go…”

“Hold on a second!” you said.

“Hm?” he said. “Ah — Reo, what the hell? No, I’m not making things strange — stop it!”

You blinked, bemused, as Reo’s muffled voice scolded Nagi while he weakly protested. In the end, Reo must’ve won the spat, for he was the one to speak to you next.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry you had to talk to him. And after I promised you I wouldn’t leave the two of you alone!” Reo said.

“It’s okay, Reo, it was just a phone call. If I was uncomfortable, I would’ve hung up,” you said.

“If you say so. Anyways, we’re on our way,” he said.

“I told you not to come, stupid, not the other way around,” you said.

“And I almost believed you, but then I thought about it a little more, and I realized that there was a high chance that you were full of shit,”he said. “What wedding dress appointment takes this long?”

“You obviously haven’t watched enough reality TV,” you said. “There’s this one show that Ryosuke and I used to watch on the weekends where the brides have to choose their dresses live, and let me tell you, some of those sessions really did last an entire day.”

“Okay, but if a bride is crazy enough to be on a reality television show while picking out her wedding dress, then it’s not a surprise that she’d also be hard to please. May isn’t like that; she’s definitely picky, don’t get me wrong, but not in that way,” he explained.

He said it so familiarly: May isn’t like that. You were almost jealous of the way that he understood her so well, understood her to the point that he would catch a taxi to see her a little earlier because he knew she wasn’t the demanding type. You wanted to be understood like that. You wanted someone to be so comfortable with knowing you again.

“You got me,” you said. “I was just joking around. She finished up a few minutes before you called. If you hadn’t flipped out and dropped your phone before running away, I would’ve said that, as well.”

“You’re such a jerk. You’re a major jerk, did you know that?” Reo said.

“I’ve been told,” you said. He scoffed.

“True,” he said. “Okay, we’ll be there soon. Talk to you then!”

“I think May wants me to start trying dresses on myself now, so I’ll probably be getting changed when you guys get here. You can see me in my options and help me choose, though, if you’d like. Ryosuke is busy, so he can’t, which means you’re my next-best option,” you said.

“Ooh, sounds like a blast,” he said. “You know I’m always up for a fashion show!”

“I know,” you said. “Alright, they’re calling me over, so I should hang up. Bye!”

With that, you ended the call and trotted over to where May was talking with the willowy, long-haired designer who was in charge of constructing her dress — a glamorous man by the name of Jyubei Aryu.

“Are you the maid of honor?” Aryu said when you joined him and May, tucking your phone into your pocket as you did so that it did not distract you.

“I am,” you said.

“Wonderful. I’ve put a dress which I found suitable on the rack in the fitting room; please call for assistance if you need it,” he said.

“Thank you!” you said, going in the direction that he had indicated, ducking into the fitting room and admiring the dress he had provided you with.

It was a blush pink, in keeping with the theme of the wedding, and made of a pretty, expensive fabric that you definitely would not be able to afford if Reo had not insisted on paying for the entire wedding party’s outfits. When you slipped it on, it flowed against your skin like water, and it was just as light and comfortable, too. The intricate detailing on the bodice did not itch, and the skirt swished around your ankles as you took uncertain steps forward, acclimatizing yourself to the feel of the gown before daring to venture out in front of the others.

You knew without even asking their opinions that you wanted to get it. Perhaps Ryosuke would shame you for it — you were growing so terrible at being able to discern his will, so for all you knew, he’d hate the option, but it mattered little to you. You liked the dress. You found it beautiful.

Aryu had graciously left a pair of heels approximately your size by the dress, so that it did not drag on the floor when you walked. Fastening the buckle of the dainty ankle strap, you opened the door to the fitting room and crept out to the waiting area, where you knew May would eagerly be waiting to see what you were in.

“Oh, wow,” May said when you rounded the corner. “Y/N! You look so beautiful!”

“Thank you,” you said. “I really like this one. Do you think it’s appropriate for a maid of honor?”

Hers was the only negative you’d entertain. If she didn’t think that the dress was suitable for her wedding, then you’d let go of the idea, albeit begrudgingly. After all, it was her wedding, and whatever she said was what went.

“It’s perfect,” she said, pretending to wipe away a tear, as if you were the bride and she were your lovingly overbearing mother. “Say yes to the dress, Y/N! Although I’m afraid you’ll outshine me if you’re standing next to me in that.”

“Be real,” you said, rolling your eyes. “No one could ever outshine you, May.”

Just then, the bell on the door chimed, announcing someone’s arrival, though it needn’t have. Only seconds after he had stepped in, Reo was declaring his presence to the public with that same gaudy, business-like professionalism he oozed every time he was forced to engage in high society.

“Hello, hello,” he said, somehow managing to simultaneously nod at the secretary, shake hands with Aryu, and wink at you and May, all without looking harried or awkward. “My apologies for any inconvenience our late arrival might have caused. It seems my fiancée’s dearest maid of honor was finding some humor in giving Nagi and I the old run around.”

“It’s not a problem,” Aryu said. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Mikage.”

“The pleasure’s all mine,” Reo said. “This is Seishiro Nagi, by the way. My best man.”

“It’s good to meet you, too, Mr. Nagi. My wife was a big fan of yours back when you were playing soccer,” Aryu said, holding out his newly-freed hand to Nagi’s in greeting. But Nagi did not take it, far too distracted to even notice, although his phone was for once not in his hands. Reo, who would never let his perfect facade drop in public but obviously wanted to scowl and smack his friend for the rudeness, turned his head to see what could possibly be holding Nagi’s attention if not a screen, and then his eyes widened, because he realized that it was you.

Nagi was gazing over at you in that way only he ever had, that way only he ever could. The weight of his stare was hot and adoring, like there was nothing else in the entire world he could be troubled with, like he’d carry a thousand burdens if it meant that you’d let him collapse at your feet once he grew tired, like you were the one pain he’d willingly take and even seek out. That was the way that Seishiro Nagi gazed at you, and the only thing you could do was cross your arms, like that paltry gesture could ever be enough to ward him off, like you even wanted to ward him off in the first place.

“If you say so,” May sang under her breath, so only you could hear. You startled, having forgotten that she was still standing next to you.

“Ah, Nagi’s not played soccer in a bit,” Reo said, discreetly stepping on Nagi’s foot, breaking him out of his trance. “But I’m sure he appreciates the support. Right, Nagi?”

“Huh?” Nagi said, his eyelashes brushing against his cheeks as he blinked sleepily at Aryu. “Oh. Yeah, right. Does she want an autograph or something?”

“I’m sure she would be delighted!” Aryu said, producing a pad of paper and a pen for Nagi to scrawl his messy signature onto.

“You got your dress?” Reo said, his arm going around May’s waist as he pressed a kiss to her temple. She nodded and beamed up at him.

“It’s amazing,” she said. “The exact kind of dress that I imagined I’d get married in one day.”

“I can’t wait to see it,” he said.

“I wish my mom was here,” May said. “She was so sad that she couldn’t make it in time. I FaceTimed her and all, but it’s not the same, you know?”

“I told your parents not to worry about work or anything,” Reo said, rolling his eyes. “They should’ve just flown over with Y/N and Kira. If their bosses gave them any trouble, I’d have sent lawyers after them or something.”

“Neither of them are comfortable taking advantage of you,” May chided him. “You know that.”

They continued to converse, and you took a step back, feeling as if you were intruding on something private. Rubbing your arm, you stared at the ground, wondering what Ryosuke might be doing back at the hotel. Was he truly taking a nap, as he had claimed? Or was he with another girl again?

Well. Either way, you supposed he was most likely in bed. Snorting at the double entendre, you almost missed Nagi’s soft tap on your shoulder.

“Hi,” he said. You opened your mouth, and then you closed it again, not wanting to be too hasty, not wanting to say something you shouldn’t when Reo and May were right there beside you.

“Hi,” you said back.

“That’s the dress you’re getting for the wedding?” he said.

“Yeah,” you said, adjusting the straps.

“It’s nice,” he said. “You look nice.”

It was such a simple statement that it barely counted as a compliment, but you could not stop the corners of your mouth from twitching as they fought to curve into a smile. After all, hearing things like that from Nagi were so rare — he was never one to find much merit in praising just about anyone.

“Thanks,” you said. “Ryosuke wanted me to choose something pretty, so…”

You saw the way his face closed off at the mention of Ryosuke and immediately cringed, though no one else would even be able to discern the imperceptible shift of his expression. Still, you were quite certain when he shrugged his shoulders slightly in approval that there was distaste brewing in his blank irises, and you bit your tongue, cursing yourself for ruining his mood before pausing.

Why did you care? It was your right to bring up the man you were to marry, wasn’t it? In fact, it was the honorable thing to do, considering your history with Nagi. The reminder was a good thing. A boundary that needed to be set. Something along those lines. So why, then, did it feel wrong? Like you had further torn apart something you might’ve still had a chance at mending?

“He’ll be satisfied, then,” he said. “You’re pretty.”

“Isn’t she?” May said brightly, somehow manifesting at your side, though you had not noticed her walking over. “I told her as much! You should definitely get it, Y/N, if even Nagi can find it in his heart to say something sweet to you about it.”

“Speaking of getting things, Nagi, come on,” Reo said, also appearing from nowhere to tug on Nagi’s sleeve. “We have shopping to do for ourselves. Let’s leave the two of them alone.”

The notion of Reo leaving you alone was so foreign that you almost protested, but then he grinned at you over his shoulder and you recalled his promise, about how he would ensure you and Nagi were not stuck together at any point, as long as it was within his means to keep you both apart.

You didn’t want Nagi to go, though. You didn’t want Reo to keep the two of you apart, but how could you tell him that? Did the words even exist for you to explain any of it? You thought that they mustn’t.

“By the way, I convinced Reo to sleep at Nagi’s tonight,” May said.

“Why would you do that?” you said.

“He should bond with his best man a bit!” she said. “As for me, there’s a lot of bonding that I want to do with you, Miss Maid-of-Honor, and I don’t think you’ll answer my questions if Reo’s within earshot, so this was the perfect idea!”

“I think that I’m not going to like your questions and your bonding very much,” you said.

“Too bad!” she said. “I’m the bride, so you have to do what I say!”

“It’s not your wedding day yet, you know,” you pointed out. “Technically, that doesn’t hold.”

“What happened to you wanting to make my life easier and all of that nonsense?” she said. “I’m just asking you for this one favor, so you really ought to grant it!”

“Okay, okay,” you said. “Let me make sure Ryosuke is fine with me staying at your place again.”

You brought out your phone to call your fiancé, but May snatched it out of your hands the instant he picked up.

“Kira? This is May. Yes, May Ducat, how many Mays do you think Y/N knows and spends time with? She’s going to sleep over again tonight so that she can help me with some preparation stuff. No, you’re right, I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. Uh-huh. Oh my god, did you know my future husband could buy your entire life? Shut up and let me have my best friend for the night! You get her every single day back in America, so now it’s my turn!” she said, making a face.

“May!” you said. She handed you back the phone, showing you that Ryosuke had hung up, and then she gave you a double-thumbs-up.

“We’re set for the night!” she said. “I’m so excited!”

“I was literally at your house earlier today. You should’ve just asked me your questions then,” you said.

“Um, like I said, I doubted you would answer if Reo was around, and anyways, I just came up with some of them now,” she said.

“Whatever,” you said. “Okay. I’m excited, too.”

You were not, considering the types of questions you sensed she was going to ask, but when she tackled you in a hug and promised you that you would have so, so much fun, it was hard to say that aloud.

Luckily, all of your things were still at May and Reo’s, so after everything was bought and paid for, with shipping arranged via one of Reo’s assistants, you could go straight to their house instead of having to stop at the hotel again. Reo, who had taken a cab back to get his car before dropping you off, waved merrily as the two of you stepped into the driveway.

“Have a nice night, both of you!” he said.

“You, too. Try to finish that one zombie adventure thing you and Nagi started last month. I don’t want to hear about it on our honeymoon,” May said.

“Actually, we both got the new Pokémon games while we were waiting for you to finish choosing your dress, so we’re going to start those together tonight and see who can beat the Champion first,” Reo said.

“Make sure to choose the fire type starter, then,” she said seriously. “They’re always the best ones.”

“No, Nagi usually chooses water, so I have to pick grass, just in case he challenges me to a battle at some point,” Reo said.

“Only lame people choose grass,” May said. “I always go for fire. What about you, Y/N?”

“I’ve only played Pokémon once, and it wasn’t my game, so I didn’t even finish it,” you said. “And I picked the one I thought was the cutest. I do think it was the fire one, though.”

“That’s what I like to see!” May said, high-fiving you.

“And how many battles have either of you beaten Nagi in?” Reo said. “That’s right, zero. So I don’t want to hear it!”

“How many battles have you beaten Nagi in?” May said. Reo glared at her.

“See you tomorrow,” he said, rolling the window up and driving off without another word.

“If only the girls at my high school had known what a big baby Reo really is,” you said. “They wouldn’t have made a fan club for him.”

“He actually had a fan club?” May said. “He told me that that wasn’t real!”

“It was real,” you affirmed. “Believe me. The Reo Mikage Fan Club and I have a long and storied history, so you should trust me more than him on the topic.”

“Were you a member?” she said, unlocking the front door and ushering you in. You choked on your saliva at the mere prospect.

“No way!” you said, sitting down on a bar stool at the kitchen counter while May dug around in her cabinets.

“Found it!” she said, brandishing a box of grocery store mac and cheese. “Reo would have a fit if he knew this was in our house, so I’ve kept it hidden away for a special occasion, but what’s more special than this? Also, I was just kidding.”

“Remember when we made Reo eat those cups of mac and cheese that you make in the microwave and he almost threw up?” you said.

“Yup,” she said. “And then he started complaining about the chemicals and additives and whatnot! As if that’s not half of the fun and flavor.”

“That must’ve been before Chigiri had the fire department called on him for forgetting the water in his microwave noodles,” you said. “The RA banned their microwave after that, right?”

“Oh, jeez, I forgot that that happened! They used to have to come to our room to warm up their leftovers,” May said, shaking her head. “What a time.”

“Do you miss it?” you said.

“Being in college?” she said. “Yes and no. I miss being your roommate and seeing you all of the time, and I miss how carefree everything was back then, but at the same time, I’m really happy now. I wouldn’t trade those years for anything, but I don’t mind that they’re over. Whatever comes next, I’m sure it’ll be great in its own way, even if it’s different. Maybe especially because it’s different.”

“That’s a good way of looking at things,” you said.

“What about you?” she said.

“The same, I guess. I miss everyone being together,” you said. “I still have Ryosuke and Chigiri, but it’s not the same without you and Reo there. My life is much more stable now, so that’s a positive, but sometimes I do wish I could go back and change things.”

“What would you change?” May said.

“I’m not sure,” you said. “It’s just a thought. I wish I could know what my life would look like now if I had followed a different path at some point or another, you know?”

“You told me earlier that you weren’t happy,” she said, putting down a dish of macaroni in front of you, sitting down at your side with her own plate. “That you were satisfied, but not happy.”

“That’s right,” you said.

“Why can’t you be both?” she said. “Why can’t you be happy and satisfied with your life?”

“I just can’t,” you said.

“There is a reason,” she said. “Tell me. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong!”

“You can’t help me regardless,” you said bitterly, stabbing a clump of pasta with your fork. “I gave up my chance at happiness for the sake of my future, that’s all. I left it behind in search of the very life I have now. You’ve known since we met that I don’t have any particular dreams; if my existence is mundane and tired, then it’s okay. That’s my goal. Not everyone gets to be Cinderella like you, May.”

“Left it behind in search of the very life you have now…” May muttered, narrowing her eyes at you. Although psychology had not been her degree, it was suddenly so clear why she had chosen to minor in it — she was uncannily good at reading people. “It, or him?”

You dropped your fork. “What did you just say?”

“Correct once again!” she said triumphantly. “I’ve been suspecting it for a bit. There’s someone else, isn’t there? I was so sure it was Chigiri, but I could never find the final bit of proof for that theory, so I was forced to dismiss it. This led to a new puzzle, though: if not Chigiri, then who? You’ve always tended to avoid talking to guys, at least as long as we’ve been friends, so the list of options was pretty limited.”

“Why does everyone think Chigiri and I are secretly dating?” you said, throwing your hands up in the air. “You’re not the first person to accuse me of it, and for some reason, I feel like you won’t be the last.”

“Don’t distract me when I’m on a roll!” she said, pointing her fork at you. “Anyways, it was bothering me for a while, but after last night and today, I was finally able to put it together.”

“You didn’t put shit together,” you said frantically. “May, you didn’t put anything together. Don’t say it.”

“I’ve never seen Nagi look at anyone the way he looked at you in that dress,” she said. “That was the first clue. From there, it all began to make sense. Why else would he come to dinner when he never agrees to such outings on any other occasion? What other reason could there be for your awkward relationship? You said that you hated him for a complicated reason. Well, this is definitely complicated! For one, you’ve been lying to everyone about the true nature of your feelings — that is to say, you are, or at some point were, in love with Seishiro Nagi!”

“I don’t like this bonding activity anymore,” you said. “Let’s do something else. Wanna play cards?”

“Wait, I’m actually right? I mean, of course I am, I’m always right,” she said. “I can’t believe it, though. How does that even make sense? You guys are total opposites.”

“Obviously we are. Don’t you think that there’s a reason it didn’t work out between the two of us?” you said. “You are right, as usual. When we were in high school, Nagi and I were together. The break up was mutually agreed upon and for both of our benefits. It was a long time ago, and in the grand scheme of things, largely inconsequential. Happy now?”

“If you were telling the truth, I would be,” she said. “Let me guess which part you were lying about…hm. I think that that relationship wasn’t inconsequential in the slightest.”

“When you’re in high school, every relationship feels earth-shattering and all-consuming. That doesn’t mean it is,” you said. “At the time, he was important to me.”

“And now he’s not?” she said.

“Now he can’t be,” you said. “I’m engaged. I’ve moved on, and so has he. He was the one to do so first, actually. I didn’t start dating Ryosuke until I realized that there was no point in looking backwards, not when the rest of the world will leave you behind if you get stuck like that.”

“What the fuck,” May said, holding her head in her hands as you continued to eat your dinner. You didn’t blame her for the dramatics; her entire view of your history had just been shifted, and not necessarily for the better. “Y/N. What the fuck. Kira was your second choice? I thought you were totally crazy about him!”

“First choice, second choice, does it matter?” you said. “He’s the one I’ll wed.”

“Do you wish it was Nagi instead?” she said.

“No,” you said. “He deserves better. He always has. Even back then, he deserved someone better than me. I’m glad I’m not marrying him.”

“Woah, woah, woah. That’s just about the opposite thing I was expecting you to say. He deserves better? He’s probably too lazy to even shower properly! If anyone deserves better, it’s you,” she said.

You took a sip of water to clear the thick feeling from your tongue. “It might seem that way, but to be frank, I’m a very hard person to love. Just ask my parents and Ryosuke if you don’t believe me. Nagi should be with someone who isn’t a pain, and though he never said so, I know I was always a hassle for him.”

“Why would you say something like that about yourself? You’re not hard to love,” she said. You exhaled, pushing your now-empty plate away and resting your chin in your hands.

“When I was a child, my parents only cared about one thing,” you said. “Whether I’d grow up to be beautiful enough to seduce the son of a rich man. Not whether he’d love me — love doesn’t matter, you see. People can fall in and out of love quite easily. Financial obligations, duty, the law…those are things you can rely on. Would I be beautiful enough to stand by a wealthy man’s side? To be worthy of bearing his children and binding him to me forever? They were obsessed with that question and its answer, and that obsession had its consequences.”

May was quiet for a moment as she took your words in. “I didn’t know that.”

“Don’t blame yourself. I didn’t tell you. I’ve only ever managed to tell one other person all of this,” you said.

“Reo?” she guessed. You laughed sadly.

“Reo? No, not him. I wish that I could, but he’s not the sort of person I can talk to about these types of issues. He has his own, more pressing problems,” you said. Understanding dawned on her face.

“Nagi,” she said. “You told Nagi.”

“I did,” you said. “He knows more about me than anyone in the entire world. The truth, since you’re so determined to figure it out, is that I loved him back then, May, though I should have known better. Love is never enough. You can’t save someone just by loving them, and neither can you change who they really are.”

May cocked her head. “Huh? Y/N, what do you mean by that? What…what really happened between the two of you? Because obviously, Reo had no clue what was going on, and I’ve only ever heard about your high school years from him.”

“What happened between the two of us? It was a series of mistakes, the biggest of which were allowing him to fall for me and falling for him in return,” you said. “It’s really hard to live a life without love once you’ve known it. I keep searching for it in places that it won’t ever exist, but deep in my heart, I’m aware that I’ll never be able to find it again, not in any way that lasts. Not in any way that resembles what I had during my last year in Japan, in those few months I spent with Seishiro Nagi.”

taglist (comment/send an ask to be added): @mariyumemi @naatggeo @prettyarsxnist @noble-17 @rinitoshisgirl @stuckindreamland06 @little-miss-chaoss

[adora-but-ginger]

Ardently Yours

ardent (adjective): to fall into strong feelings for or to develop a crush; to begin to love

pairing: spencer reid x psychic! gender neutral reader

synopsis: the four times where you almost call spencer by his first name, and the one time that you do

warnings: typical cm talk and discussions, a quick undercover case, spencer reid is NOT straight, honestly assume that any character i write for isn't straight, food mentions, swearing (probably), nervous spencer at the end, me having a bias towards glasses reid

masterlist

word count: ~5k

a/n: here is the next installment for my psychic reader collection! i spent a lot of time and effort on this one, and i have not written something this long in awhile, so i hope you all enjoy it as much as i do!

want to be tagged? let me know!

not proofread whoops again

credit to gif owner!

i.

"Why do you drink coffee when you don't even like it?" You were by the kitchenette as Spencer rolled up for his morning caffeine fix, caught off guard by the realization that he wasn't alone.

He turned to you, adding sugar into his beverage. "Caffeine is a stimulant that increases your brain and nervous system's alertness. We work really odd hours. I don't understand what you're asking." The flow of sugar didn't stop until he was almost done talking, your eyes widening every second he kept pouring.

"Yes but aren't there other drinks that get the same result? Why coffee when you obviously don't like the taste?" You watched as he stirred the sugar-with-a-dash-of-coffee drink together, combining the ingredients.

He shrugged as he pushed up his glasses to sit better on his nose. "It's what's easily available."

"Hmm." You scrunched your eyebrows together. "Do you like tea?"

"I much prefer tea, actually." A wisp of hair fell in front of his face, and you were tempted to push it away. You weren't going to, that was absurd. But you were tempted. You had just reached a truce not too long ago and put your differences aside, meaning you had to make every moment count if you wanted to keep the peace.

Reid surveyed the room before continuing, as to watch for any possible intruders. "Last time I walked in with tea though, Morgan commented on my cup and would only talk to me in a horrible British accent the rest of the day." A small smile crept onto his features. "Learned that lesson quite quickly."

Now that you didn't seethe at the sight of him, you were able to read Reid better. Six months into the BAU now and you were able to have civilized conversations with the genius, progress that you valued as you got to know him. He was skeptical of what you could do with your mind still, but at least he was less vocal about it.

Something was different this morning though, but that may just be on your side. Because at seven a.m. sharp Spencer walked into the bullpen with those frames of his adorning his face, something that he hadn't done since the first month you were here. Why was that a problem? Because you couldn't keep your eyes off of him.

Maybe it was the change, or maybe it was something else, but you were put into a daze the first few seconds you saw him.

You came back to reality just in time for him to make his leave, and you made the collective decision to make a pit stop on the way in tomorrow if there were no cases announced today. You needed a change of pace in your morning routine anyway. At least, that's what you told yourself as you walked back to your desk, getting Emily's attention before striking up a riveting conversation with her regarding her weekend plans.

--

The next day when you walked into the office, you were balancing two drinks, one pastry, and a load of anxiety in your hands. You were the first one there, showing up a half an hour early as Spencer appeared twenty minutes early on the dot without missing a day. You had stopped by the café next to your apartment on your way here, getting yourself a drink and ordering a tea for Spencer that felt right. You didn't know what he usually had, but your mind searched his the day before to get a good grasp of the basics.

You knew that he had a big thing with germs (which was completely justified) and so you delicately laid down a folded napkin as a coaster for his tea before writing a little note of what it was. You signed with your initials before rounding to your own desk, just in the nick of time. You glanced down at your watch as it struck twenty-to, and watched nonchalantly as Reid walked into the office, immediately noting your presence and giving an awkward wave. The rest of the team filed in not too long after, and before you knew it you had lost a few hours to paperwork. It wasn't until midday that you felt a presence near your desk, the energy telling you it was Reid before you even looked in his direction.

"You got me baked goods. And a drink. Why?"

"The tea is caffeinated, and it's green--I know some people have sensitivities to other bases but usually green is a safe bet. It was no big deal, I had a couple punch cards that I turned in for free goodies so please don't think you owe me anything."

He awkwardly leaned against the side of your desk, trying to find a place to stick his hands. "Why did you do it?"

"Why do you think I did it?"

"I'm not sure. I looked up the shop on the cup and it's ten minutes in the opposite direction from here, you didn't go out of your way did you?"

Yes, you totally did. "No not at all, it was on my way."

He squinted at you, knowing you were telling a fib but not confident enough to call it out.

"Plus, I get the feeling you like pastries of the sort."

A smile flashed across his face. "I do, actually, the one you got is my favorite type."

You shot him a wink. "I thought so. You like the drink too?"

His shoulders slumped into a more relaxed response as the conversation went on. "I did, I never had that type before, but it was quite nice. The flavors were all very balanced, and I appreciated the sugar packets you brought along with it." He stood up, beginning to head back to his desk. "Thank you."

"Anytime Reid."

Were you there long enough to use his first name? It was a tricky thing, names, because some didn't mind being on a first-name basis from the get-go, but Reid was different.

It almost fell from your lips just then too, as he was walking away.

Maybe today wasn't the day, but you hoped soon it would be.

ii.

You were called into a case before you could finish your Saturday morning routine, and by midday the jet was taking you to Kentucky. with the woods surrounding you on pretty much all sides. That plus the humidity ever present equaled a very irritable team.

It was two days in when the profile was given, but your focus was on one of the local cops at the department. You didn't want to make it a big deal, but your incessant glaring was clearly making him uncomfortable. He was hiding something. Prentiss was the one to cue you first, nudging your arm after realizing you weren't letting up on your stare down.

"What is it? Everything alright?" She crossed her arms as she followed your line of sight.

"Yeah, it's just something's off."

"What's off?" Spencer appeared seemingly from nowhere and perched himself on your other side.

"Oh, hey Reid." Emily nodded in your direction. "They're reading Mr. Cowboy Boots over there." Sure enough, the cop had a pair on that did not match the uniform at all.

"His aura is different." You squinted as he gathered up some paperwork. "Most of the people in this office have an uncomfortable energy, but his is just...different. Not a good different either." A moment of silence filled the air. "Plus, I hate that toupee of his. It looks like a joke." He turned towards the three of you and you all glanced in separate directions, trying but failing to look like you hadn't just been studying him.

"The way he flows just doesn't match the energy of the others, and I'm going to figure out why."

"How can you tell?" Spencer looked from the man in question to the other locals, trying to understand an inch of what you were saying.

You kicked off from the wall you were slouching against before starting on your way towards him. "I just can. Give me a minute." And off you went.

You just needed to strike up small talk with him, really look into his eyes to try and uncover your rising suspicions. You were in earshot of Emily and Reid still, and it didn't take you long to understand why you were feeling the way you were.

Nodding as an exit cue, you booked it toward your two coworkers. "Call Garcia." You closed your eyes for a second, focusing your thoughts. "He knows the unsub. I don't know how, but either through friendship or familial ties, Boots over there is familiar with these murders.

"All you did was discuss tomorrow's weather, how can you know?" Spencer looked at you, confusion written all over those chiseled cheekbones.

You hummed as you reached out to flick an invisible piece of dust from his sweater vest. "His heart, it tells a story. A story of betrayal, of protecting a secret. Not like a typical hidden truth, but something much, much darker. He's inserting himself into this case as much as he can because of it." He reached for his found to send Penelope your info, no matter how apprehensive he was about it. You could tell he was unsure, but if it meant getting one step closer to catching this killer, he wasn't going to question it. Not now at least.

He picked up his phone, adjusting his glasses as he did so. "Hey, Garcia? We need you to check something out."

Emily went to relay the information to Gideon, and you took a moment to admire the boy genius. You had to admit that ever since you two started getting along, you were seeing him in a new light. A light that you wished minded its own damn business. His awkwardness was adorable, and when he showed up to the case today wearing those glasses of his, well, you had to pencil in a cold shower for later.

Whether he knew it or not, he truly was gorgeous.

You weren't planning to acknowledge those feelings anytime soon though. There was a killer on the loose and this was the last thing you needed to be thinking about right now.

"He hasn't slept since the beginning of the case either. Those bags under his eyes are days old and he--" Spencer stared at you as he telephoned your information to Garcia's side. "He has a grass allergy. That last part isn't important, I just needed to let someone else know that I knew that too." You mumbled the last part of yourself, looking briefly out towards the cloudy evening.

He turned towards you, shooting you a confused look. He covered the phone with his hand. "You can tell if someone has an allergy?"

You shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I can." You squinted your eyes at him, and you two had worked together enough now that he knew you were reading him. "You're allergic to pollen." The lack of reaction from him was reaction enough. "And peaches? Cantaloupe, too."

The corner of his eye twitched, and you smirked at your victory. He resumed his attention to the phone. "Garcia, they're freaking me out again, reading my mind."

Maybe you two were friends. Friends call each other by their first names, right? You silently tested it out on your tongue.

Gideon's voice grabbed the two of you's attention before his name could fall from your lips.

iii.

You were not a fan of going undercover. It was a part of the job that you thankfully didn't have to exercise much of, but whenever the opportunity arose, you did your best to avoid it. It was uncomfortable, especially when you fit the victimology to a tee. You had a weapon tucked away as a fail-safe, but there you were, sitting alone in a bar with a glass untouched in front of you.

Act as though you had a fresh break-up, he's going after people who seem heartbroken.

Make sure not to draw too much attention.

Let us know the moment he leads you out. Click the pen and we'll be sent an alert.

You were a decent actor, but it felt weird knowing that you were practically bait for this case. It didn't help that you hated the bar setting, the sticky floors, questionable seats, and dim lighting. Not to mention they were always overcrowded whenever you went. No, you'd much rather be at home, or honestly anywhere rather than here.

"Any updates?" Reid's voice sounded through your earpiece, relaxing you a little. The team was strategically placed outside the establishment, with Spencer also somewhere within the pool of people inhabiting this bar. Back-up, he called it, though you were pretty sure that you'd be a better shot than he was. Plus, he hated this setting even more than you. So why was he here?

You tried to search for him, attempting to find the brunette in the mass of people. You caught someone's eyes in the process, quickly locking theirs with your own before moving on.

Here we go.

The man fit the profile to a tee, and noticing that you were alone started to make his way to you.

You swirled your drink in your hand as he sauntered up to you. Even if you weren't here undercover, you wouldn't go near this guy with a jousting pole. Time to put on the charm.

"Well hey there, you look lonely."

You put on an overly friendly smile. "Oh, you're too kind."

"Mind if I take a seat?"

One glance at him and you knew. This was your guy. You clicked the alarm disguised as a pen, and now you just had to get him out of the bar. "Go right ahead."

It took ten minutes before you could get anywhere, and by the time you convinced him to leave with you, you wanted to retch--his grubby hands were laying on your shoulder, rubbing it as he walked alongside you, other hand on the small of your back.

You were definitely making sure that as a reward for putting up with this, you had your paperwork covered for at least a week.

One moment you felt the fresh evening air, the next you heard shouts from all sides. But then you felt cold metal against your neck, and you realized this was going to take a little longer than expected. This is exactly why you hated going undercover.

"Put the guns down or they get it." You hadn't been on this side of the job yet, being held hostage with your teammates staring down the possibility of what one wrong move could mean.

"Statistically, killers like you try to take the path of police-assisted suicide in a situation like this, but you can make it out with a life sentence if you're smart about it. Either way, you'll never see what life looks like out of cement walls." Reid's voice sounded from behind you, as you welcomed the wave of relief that swept over you as his voice hit your ears. "Choose wisely."

You sensed it before it happened. You kicked his kneecap in as he went to swipe at you, and though you ended up with pain lightly searing against your clavicle, there Reid was, handcuffing him before handing him over to Morgan.

Spencer noticed your wound and moved towards you. "Is it deep?"

You shook your head. "No, just stings."

"I had eyes on you the entire time. I know it was really busy in there, but I was there. Just in case. I didn't lose you, you were safe." He waited a second before continuing. "Let's go get that cleaned up, it's pretty nasty looking."

You sent a smile at the man. "Thank you. Seriously, Spen--"

Gideon called both of your names before you could finish the sentence, leaving his first name still unknown on your lips.

iv.

The weather was just starting to clear again. It wasn't humid in D.C. and the temperature was at a steady rise, though it was still bearable. You had been talking with Hotch about weekend plans, which you had to admit was a little odd.

It wasn't that you and Aaron didn't get along, per se, but you two had just never sought the other out during non-work hours. He was telling you about his partner, Hailey, who sounded lovely. You'd never seen the man as lively as when he was talking about her.

"And then she offered to go to the art gallery to see the new exhibit, which I didn't even know about."

"You like art?" You were leaning against his desk with a cup of coffee in hand.

"I do. What about you, any events planned?"

You shook your head. "No, just me and my fish catching up on some reading hopefully."

"You know Reid reads too?" Hotch looked over to the man of the hour who was coincidentally staring back, quickly glancing away as if caught.

"Reid reads. There has to be a pun in there." You snorted at your words, shrugging afterward. "He reads books that I have no interest in though, and I distinctly remember hearing about his disdain for fiction, which is my forte."

"I'm sure if you asked him, he would." He paused for a moment before shuffling some papers. "You two could start your own book club."

This was the thing with Aaron, you could never tell if he was joking.

"In fact, he's coming this way now." Surprise scribbled onto your face as you turned to look behind you. Sure enough, like he'd been summoned, there was Spencer striding over. His contacts must have been picked up because he was bare-faced today, which made no difference to you--your heart still skipped a beat. You noticed he was giving off lots of nervous energy as he approached, though from the outside he looked relatively relaxed.

"Why are you nervous Reid?" Never one to beat around the bush, you were.

That relaxation quickly dissipated as he looked towards you and Hotch. His eyes met yours. "How do you--never mind. Do you have a second?"

You nodded. "Hotch, tell me how the exhibit goes, yeah?" With a nod from Aaron, you met Spencer halfway, motioning him to lead the onward. "What's up?"

He didn't speak until you got to his desk. "First, before I say anything, know that I do not mind at all if you say no."

"Okay...?" You watched him skeptically as he fiddled with his hands, looking at you every few seconds before surveying the room. "What, are you about to ask me on a date or somet--"

"I have two tickets to the star show they're hosting at the planetarium on Saturday, and I know that you love the constellations. I've been once before and it was really nice, they tell you all about the patterns and legends behind each one and I think you'd really like it. Penelope suggested I ask you since you usually are relatively free on the weekends, which isn't a bad thing of course. In fact, I don't usually do much on the weekends besides going to the park and playing chess with the regulars there." He was rambling, truly on edge about how'd you respond. A smile started to rise on you. "It's later in the evening so when you leave the planetarium you can see the stars in question, but it's not too far from my place and you do not have to go if you're busy or don't want to, I just thought I'd ask."

His eyes were wide as you ate up every one of his words. His voice was like the harmony of your favorite song--you loved to pick it out and listen to how each of the words he spoke flowed. His face had a tint of rose on it, and a piece of hair had fallen into his eyes. You had to once more withhold from pushing it back into place.

"I would love to go, where would you like to meet?"

Shock was written all over his features at your accepting of his invitation, and you were pretty sure he was already preparing a proper response to a rejection when you said your words.

"You want to go?"

A nod accompanied you. "Yeah, you can teach me all about the science and I can teach you all about your star sign."

He shot you a quizzical glance before relaxing his shoulders. Man, he was really tense. "Okay. Okay, great! I can send you my address. We can walk there from my place, it's only about ten minutes away. It's at 7 pm, does that work?"

"Works perfect for me." A thought popped into your head, one that could make this outing seem to be much more than it really was. "That's a little past when I eat, want to grab dinner beforehand?"

He scrunched his eyebrows at you. Uneasiness started to form in your belly, maybe you were being a little too bold. "What type of dinner? Restaurant dinner or takeout dinner?"

"We could do takeout? You said you know a 24-hour Thai place around here, right? It's one of your favorite places in the area."

He was almost caught in a trance then, looking nearly through you, staring at you with an expression you had never really seen on his face before. "You remembered that?"

"Of course I did, I remember things about the people I care about."

He couldn't speak for a second after your words. Yeah, you were definitely being too bold.

"You--" His voice cracked and you almost chuckled as he cleared his throat. "--I'll grab some food from there before we head out. Want to stop by around six?"

"Six it is. See you there, boy wonder." You shot a wink his way. "And thank you for the invite, I cannot wait to go." His first name was on the tip of your tongue, ready to spill out at the slightest egging on. He looked almost expectantly at you and you had to remind yourself of where you were and who you were with.

This wouldn't be considered a date, would it?

v.

Spencer totally thought this was a date. He could count the number of dates he'd been on on his hand, and most of them were with Ethan. It'd been a while since he'd gone out, and he was nervous.

What if he was overdressed? What if he was underdressed? What even was the dress code for the night? What if you didn't show up?

He tried to not let that last thought get to him because if it did then he would spiral and would all in all not have a good time tonight. This wasn't platonic, right? He didn't think it was. Did you? Did--

A knock at his door interrupted his ruminating. He scrambled to make sure he looked presentable, heart practically thrumming against his rib cage as he did so. There was just one problem.

He couldn't see.

It wasn't that he hated how he looked with his glasses on, but it made him feel self-conscious and he hated to wear the frames outside of his house. The only problem was that the last of his contacts had dried out, and he really wanted to look nice for your guys' outing. He could not see more than five feet in front of him for his life, which in retrospect kind of ruined the whole point of looking at the stars.

That didn't matter in his mind as long as it impressed you. He knew that he shouldn't dress to impress, but you and your alternative methods of profiling had snuck their way into his brain and refused to leave. He thought about whether you'd do the daily crossword with him almost every morning. He made sure to always bring an extra morning snack in the case that you got hungry. Hell, he was writing to his mother about you.

He was in much farther than he knew.

A second round of knocks sounded at the door.

He opened it after looking through the peephole and nearly lost his breath.

You were stunning, and he felt more out of his element than he had in years.

Wow, he was really in deep.

"Phew, I thought I had the wrong address at first. I am so ready for some Thai and stars!" You entered his place, but his mind was still a few steps behind. "This place is beautiful, and so...you!" Neat piles of books were stacked in rows alongside his couch, and as he went to readjust one's positioning his lack of visual clarity made him trip.

Great.

You rushed over to him, careful to keep your distance but still close enough to offer help if he asked. "Woah, are you alright there?"

"Yeah, I-I just must've not seen where I was heading." He could feel the dust adorning his cheeks. He was totally making a fool out of himself. "Please, take a seat at the table, the food is still hot."

You smiled and nodded, taking in the contents of his home whilst sitting down. He went over and grabbed the Thai food, bringing it over to the table. He set the food down and went to sit, not knowing that this was the moment before a disaster. One of the chairs must not have been fully pushed in, and with the combination of his nerves, and his blurriness, his foot got caught right over it as he went to sit across from you.

Now, you fully respected and understood Spencer's hatred of germs, so you'd apologize later for coming to the rescue. That being said, you sensed it a half a second before it was going to happen, stood up, and reached out to catch him.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" His arms were on yours, bracing them for stability. "What's wrong? Are you sick?" He could feel your eyes looking him up and down for any signs of maladies. "We can reschedule and go another night if something's wrong." He really did not want to admit the reasoning behind his clumsiness. "I can take you to the doctor's if you're feeling ill." Now he definitely had to expose himself. How would he even explain this to a medical professional?

Oh hey doc, I got told repeatedly that I look better with contacts and now the one time I need them I don't have them which ironically is the one night in years that I had to chance to go out with someone who I think I'm starting to really like so can you please give me a fake diagnosis so they didn't drive me here for nothing?

Yeah, that wasn't going to work. He had to bite the bullet. "I'm not sick." He slowly removed himself from your grasp. "I just can't see."

A concerned look graced your features. "What? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I just--"

"You just what Reid? You can talk to me. Your energy is super wonky right now. I'm getting a little worried for you."

This was stupid. He was acting stupid. He shouldn't be embarrassed by this. You were just looking out for him, that was all, it was all probably surface level anyway. It was all--

"Spencer, what's wrong?"

His breath stifled to a halt.

"What did you just say?"

Your concerned look deepened.

"I asked what was wrong."

You had never called him by his first name before.

He shook his head. "No, before that." His eyes met yours. "You've never said my first name before."

A flash of...regret? nerves? shot through your eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overstep any boundaries. I should've asked--"

"Say it again." He properly sat down. "My name I mean, say it again. Please."

"You're not mad?" You were tentative with your words now, adding his name after a beat. "...Spencer?"

His name formed like the first rain shower after a draught on your lips, falling with the grace of the autumn leaves from your tongue.

"You've never called me that before." His expression was shy, and man he wished he could see more than your blurry figure right now. "I, uh, thought I could go without my glasses tonight, but I also don't have my contacts."

"Would you like me to call you that more?" You were going to make him go into freaking cardiac arrest. He nodded fervently. Your shoulders slightly lost some of their tension. "Why would you do that to yourself? You wouldn't be able to see."

"Statistically those who wea--"

"Spencer."

Oh, he was turning to putty now. You were going to kill him, and he didn't mind.

"I thought I would look better without them."

A scoff emitted from you. "If you need them to see, you need them to see. Don't change your appearance for the approval or interest of someone else." He felt the red rush up his neck, around his ears. "Plus," You added with a quieter tone. "I think you look plenty good with them on." You locked eyes. "Gorgeous, even. There's a reason Morgan calls you pretty boy, you know."

Gorgeous? You just called him gorgeous. No one had called him that before.

"Really?"

"Really, Spencer."

Yeah, he was done for.

taglist:

@alllriseabove @kitty-kei @donttrustlove @jiuseoks

[hwei]

typing out my pulsefire AU lore here --- (very heavy on the AU and headcanons oops)

the basic AU plot is mostly about Pulsefire Ezreal and Aphelios time misadventures (the plot is them banding together to try and get access to the back rooms Time Liminal Spaces to save Alune)

Aphelios and his sister Alune were twin time-cyborg-super-soldiers/killers created in collaboration with PF industries to fight off apocalyptic threats. Alune was considered something of a success project with her immense strength (telekinetic/physical) and lethality, Aphelios ended up on the lower end of quality (was slated to be demoted to fodder-level of soldier, and had a "personality wipe" (<- this also ended up botched). At some point, Alune hatched a plan to get them both out of the lab/armory and they both take a bunch of the PF weaponry during their escape (aka Alune just busted them out of there with brute strength). on the run from their escape, Alune attempts time traveling to locate a timeline/world/universe where they can't be easily followed so that she and her brother can peacefully live. however, she ended up in a liminal time space Thing and got stuck, leaving Aphelios all alone (which isn't Great, he's relied on her guidance his whole life)

... so he ends up timehopping around looking for someone who can help, maybe even one of these trouble making time explorers who know their way around time space AND the law and wouldnt mind helping a runaway guy. especially since he doesnt really. have funds to hire someone so he's kinda looking for someone ballsy and thrill seeking enough to help him out. (probably in exchange for his own combat capabilities. or hell, all the fancy equipment he could trade with)

he runs into Ezreal, a pretty infamous time explorer guy (he's caused a shitton of paradoxes and time-fuckery and is wanted by MANY people). and.. while Ezreal is up for pretty much Anything, the liminal time spaces is like the one (1) place he'd never go near bc nobody ever really survives going there. no point in going somewhere where you might not ever get out of without any form of reward, right. (Aphelios eveeeentually somewhat persuades him to help, at the very least to try and research/find/seek out a way to help his sister out. He's surprisingly persistent.)

and for Ezreal's lore, he used to be the kid of some tech ceo (or just tech guys) and his parents had high expectations of him becoming a researcher/STEM guy as well, but Ezreal caved into the pressure, ended up performing poorly in classes and started hard-slacking off until he was disowned. he ended up taking up some "experimental surgery" at one of the PF labs to become heavily augmented by technology, thinking if he couldn't make it as an academic, he could still find some useful way to contribute to society. except uhh. there WAS a (bad!) reason the surgery was kept under wraps and not made public... at some point or another, there's a raid at the specific lab he was staying at, most of the facility ends up destroyed in the chaos. armed with a ton of time traveling/warping tech, he saw it as a sign to say fuck it, and left the reality to explore time space and get into all sorts of nonsense, throwing caution into the wind. (And eventually runs into Aphelios...)

One of their first encounters happens to be while they're running from the timecops and Aphelios saves Ezreal's life, which does make the explorer feel indebted to him...

(a lot of the AU revolves around the theme of humanity, since Ezreal struggles with it a lot as he had a lot of his body replaced by cybernetics and technology and it's something of a body horror kinda situation to him, and Aphelios is (while he does have some augments and stuff as well) more so along the lines of like. Figuring out how to be human when he's always been treated as a weapon and tool his whole life. Both guys are woefully self sacrificial since they don't see themselves as like. human enough to have their lives have value, but throughout the misadventures they kinda come to realize bc they care about each other and other people they meet, maybe they ARE deserving of human contact/care/love/etc. :) also epic awesome battle scenes and stuff)

[tossyouforedinburgh]

edit: regretting warning you lot, thinking you only like Hastur pining when it's a jumpscare. still I enjoyed this!

you weirdos seemed to be really into the Hastur/Ligur stuff so here's a little extension to the other thing. if I feel like it I have an ending for it planned, so it's not going to be very long

contains very vague references to adult stuff, ig some nasty stuff but no detail, it's Hastur and Ligur like idk how I could write that without some violence

it wasn't, it turned out, quite as difficult as you'd think sneaking into Heaven to steal a book. Angels were, obviously, fucking idiots, but beyond that, there was only one stop in the lift between Hastur's office and the offices of Heaven where they kept all their powerful, reality warping doodahs. and there was a rumour one of their scriveners had gone to run a bookshop--whatever that was--and so stuff was just lying about unguarded.

Hastur sighed heavily, drawing on his cigarette and leaning on the grave in front of him. he'd stopped in his favourite churchyard, the one he and Ligur used to lurk in when they got bored of the stench of the others demons. obviously, demons all stink--that bastard Crowley being the exception, not sure he was ever a real demon to begin with--but Hastur had never found Ligur's smell to be as bothersome as say, Furfur. there was something familiar about it, at least. just a side effect of having had desks next to each other for thousands of years. the smoke break had been intended to bolster his courage a little. why was he doing this, anyway?

Hastur would never have used the word love. that was the horrible noise that came out of an angel's mouth when they were singing the Almighty's praises. it made bile rise up in his throat. he'd not spent enough time on Earth to know what humans thought of it--nights spent lurking and daring each other to touch consecrated ground until the two of them had blisters all over their hands and feet didn't involve human interaction--but he vaguely knew about fornicating. something similar to what he and Ligur did in the supply cupboard occasionally, when they couldn't finish off an argument with words, and ended up manhandling each other roughly until one of them won top position, and then there'd be a sense of satisfaction that the disagreement was dealt with and didn't need to be mentioned again.

it was alright to miss that, wasn't it? violently dominating each other, that was demonic shit wasn't it? and nobody had to know if some of the physical contact was... gentle. that was nobody's business. certainly not Hastur's.

he held his fg end out without thinking, and then realised Ligur wasn't there for him to stub it out in his hand. he tossed it carelessly on the ground instead. see, Ligur was useful. that's what he was doing this for. selfish, advantage taking. that's what demons do. that's why he considered pissing off Crowley again after Ligur was gone, perhaps he had some more holy water lying about. but he didn't really want to be gone. he just needed someone to bitch to about the state of things. the light about his desk had gone out again, if Ligur was there, sure he wouldn't hold out a torch for him but he would grumble agreeably while Hastur grumped about it and that was almost the same.

[ironunderstands]

I think you guys are worrying over nothing (2.2 spoilers be warned)

Ok, I see a lot of people confused about this line because Ratio was with him the entire time, and Jade should know about it considering Aventurine asked for his help way before they went to Penacony

However, I don’t think this is a plot hole or Ratio is some mysterious entity only Aventurine and the astral express can see or something, he quite literally reported Aventurine’s receiving of Sunday’s death sentence back to the IPC, so they know he’s with him.

So what is Jade referring to?

Well, it’s simple, the real Penacony.

I mean, she immediately mentions Dreamflux reef right after, so I assume Jade is referring to Aventurines time on the other side of that manifestation of IX, which brought him to the real Penacony.

There, he truly was alone.

We can assume Aventurine had told her about it earlier in their conversation, but we can also assume he left a lot of stuff out, including his meeting with Acheron.

This isn’t negative character development, Aventurine does want to live now, something which gets further confirmed by his text messages to us. So why bet his life? Well, there’s a lot of things Aventurine clearly didn’t tell her, and his change of heart is one of them.

“…may your schemes be forever concealed”

Aventurine is planning something, and it involves climbing the IPC latter

He’s willing to bet his life on Diamond promoting him, and if he didn’t believe or well, want that to happen, Aventurine wouldn’t make that bet.

Now, what exactly he wants to do with this promotion becomes a lot more clear when someone else walks into the room…

…and demands the location of one Oswaldo Schneider, the man behind both the operation on Sigonia and the destruction of Boothill’s planet

this is going to be interesting

[softerhaze]

idk if it was the venus retrograde or what, but july 2023 was quite literally the worst month i've ever experienced in my life like.....every single day? awful? worse than the last? it's more likely than u think

[angellurgy]

squeak

[dennisboobs]

ok at the point now where looking at an image of dennis makes me want to smash my head through a wall

[urbanfiltered]

can’t breathe