#But like...bro are you really going to say this and then side with the exact same people

[miraculouslumination]

The audacity to be like "there's a problem with racism in transandrophobia discussions" while also unironically using the term "transandrophobia truther(s)"

[princessbrunette]

bodyguard!jj pulling his gun out on someone who’s all up in your face 😳😳 It would be so hot Id probably have to change my panties

୧ ‧₊˚ 👠・₊✧

trying to be ‘respectful’ on the job could be a pain in jj’s ass — and he’s not just talking about trying to be professional around you. you were sociable, too sociable, so more times than not the weekend would come and you, millionaire kook-nepo baby turned social media whatever would come dragging your bodyguard anywhere and everywhere that you could.

but like jj always told you, you could take the man out of the cut but you couldn’t take the cut out of the man. it was often his actions would come across brutish, irrational, aggressive— but he did what he could to protect you. maybe he cared about protecting you a little too much, for selfish reasons instead of professional.

he stands a few feet back, giving you your privacy at this networking party you’d dragged him too. don’t get him wrong, he loves a party— when he gets to smoke weed and drink beer. coming to a party strictly to stand there and stare at one girl all night wasn’t exactly his mojo.

his bodyguard senses that he’d gained from working for you started to tingle as he snapped out of his thoughts, eyeing your body language. you were stiff, and whilst your back was to him he somehow knew the exact face you were making. this guy, the asshole you were speaking to was all up in your face, too touchy, a totally weird and off putting vibe. jj didn’t wanna come across as overbearing, but then again — he was doing his job.

he arrives at your side within a millisecond, staring down the guy in your face. “step back a little for me, bro.” he tries to be civil about it all whilst standing his ground, his small unblinking smile a thinly veiled threat. the guy scoffs, clearly off too many of the free champagne flutes being liberally handed out.

“babe, why is the help talking to me?” he sneers, amused and jj’s eyes flutter, taking a deep breath to not cuss him out.

“thats my bodyguard.” you frown, meekly — but you defend jj anyway. that calms him just a tad.

“thats your bodyguard?” he smirks, finally letting go of your arm to stare at jj. “what are you gonna do if i don’t step back, huh?”

the blonde bodyguard is done with the games, whipping his pistol out from its holster and holding it directly to his forehead, collecting a sea of gasps and shrieks from decorum-obsessed party goers. “i’ll light this god damn room up, that’s what i’ll do dude. you gonna step back? or am i gonna have to blow your brains out infront of a pretty girl.”

“jj!” you clutch your glittery necklace, stepping behind him nonetheless. the rich asshole has no idea what hit him, backing away and scurrying off with piss in his overpriced boxers. jj licks his lips casually as he looks around at the scene he caused, tucking the gun back into its holster as he turns to look down at you.

“we done here? think it’s time to peel, unless of course you’d rather be escorted out by the actual security guards. they look pretty mad, so…”

you nod, wordless as you process what just happened, letting him guide you away from the party by the small of your back. maybe it was the champagne talking, but seeing jj protect you like that seemed to go straight to your panties, your thunderous heart beat having nothing on the pulse through your clit. you bite your bottom lip, turning to look up at him as he walks you out the building.

“don’t give me that look. was doin’ my job, cupcake. the dude was pushin’ his luck.”

“i can’t believe you did that.” you let out in a breath, and it’s only then once you get outside into the cool evening air he slows his pace, turning to look at you. his face falls a little, wondering if you were really mad. he says nothing, awaiting his scolding. “i… can’t believe you did that.” you repeat, this time falling into a fit of giggles, covering your mouth.

his brow raises, sizing you up.

“uh, how much of that champagne did you drink?”

“you were really gonna shoot that guy just for standing too close to me?” you’re elated, approaching him with a doe eyed grin looking nothing short of a disney princess. he shrugs, not understanding the hype.

“i mean the guy was practically begging for it.”

“thats so hot.”

“what now?”

“cool, that was so cool.” you correct quickly, stepping back. “thank you.” you smile and he blinks at you at few times, knowing exactly what he heard.

“yeah, don’t sweat it… just doin’ my job, sugar.” he starts to walk you to the car — this time with a smirk on his face that you daren’t question.

୧ ‧₊˚ 👠・₊✧

[palskippah]

Hi! You saw preg Bowuigi, but may I present to you… preg Mareach ✨

The thought won't leave my mind after I mindlessly drew Mario asking Luigi how is it to be pregnant and then it escalated from there 😔

So! Here's some headcanons (that you can find too in the drawings) for this:

-Mario and Luigi's mamma and uncle are twins, so they have this 'twin gene', and it just so happens that Mario got twins first try and Luigi didn’t.

-Mario has thoughts when seeing his bro expecting, he develops a serious case of baby fever that he refuses to tell anyone about. Like he catches himself thinking about him and Peach expecting and her acting in the overly attentive way that Bowser does, or thinking of a tiny blonde baby with a button nose and blue-sky eyes. He feels a bit guilty about these thoughts.

-Luigi eventually pries the information out of Mario and tries to convince him to talk to Peach about it, that she’d be understanding even if she doesn’t like the idea. Mario’s stubborn and just doesn’t and feels bad for wanting a baby too just because his bro is going to have one.

-To Mario’s surprise (and relief) it’s Peach who mentions the idea of having children (he feels a bit embarrassed that she easily used the exact words he scolded himself for: “I want a baby”), so they shyly entertain the idea.  And they decide they'd like to be parents in the future.

-When Magma (that's the Bowuigi baby's name!) grows and gets to the toddler stage, Mario finally decides that they could start trying.

-(Corny and I pulled this from Deadpool 2 but) He gives the 'green light' to Peach as a sort of anniversary gift and she's so happy she jumps in place and holds him to her chest and rambles about what to name the baby and how they'd look and what they'll do together and– Mario jokingly reminds her that first she's gotta put a baby in him for that to happen.

-Luigi is really excited when Mario and Peach tell him that they’re expecting. He hugs them both and says he can’t wait to finally be an uncle, and that they’ll be great parents.

-Luigi spoils his bro the same way Mario did with him when he was expecting Magma, like baking him treats and his favorite foods whenever they’re at their house and overall being a very good bro.

-Soon Peach arranges a room to make a nursery and plans how it’ll be.

-When they discover it's twins she makes arrangements again to adapt it for two babies, assigning a color to each baby’s things, because she thinks that Mario and Luigi having their signature colors is adorable.

-When they’re back from the doctor after discovering they’ll have twins, they’re both happily thinking about two children. Peach of snuggly wrapped little babies with round noses and brunette hair, and Mario for some reason thinks of two blonde toddlers with matching hats and blue overalls.

-Mario's belly looks big soon and Peach is over the moon because he's so round and handsome.

-He's so shaped.

-Due to almost all of the Mushroom Kingdom citizens being small Mario often loses sight of them, especially when talking to toads. They love to stand close and right in front of him, even if Mario tells them to stand at his side so he can see them. Mario's pretty sure not even the toads can see him over his belly and yet they don't listen.

-Mario lives at Peach's castle but he and Luigi still kinda often stay at their own little house at the outskirts of Toad Town. Luigi sometimes goes by himself or brings some of his children. They like to have some kind of peace apart from their families and the royalness of it all. (Thinking about the fact that Bowser went on a vacation by himself as Junior said once in a game sjdks)

-Peach is very excited for the babies and she always asks for permission to caress his belly and to hold it and to kiss it. She talks a lot to the babies too, even at times holding very long one-sided conversations with them while Mario listens in with an absolutely besotted smile.

-Many nights, when Mario's sprawled on his side with his arms in weird positions and snoring away and Peach's at his back holding him, she mumbles on and on sweet words to her children and her boyfriend, and holds Mario closely.

-Ever since they know he's expecting, Peach randomly suggests baby names to Mario, who shakes his head or actually explains why he doesn't like them. She suggests one day a couple of names just for funsies and to her surprise Mario loves them.

-Peach leaves their bed very early to focus on her royal duties all morning, while Mario's asleep almost until midday surrounded by an insane amount of red and pink pillows.

-Peach eats red power up mushrooms to be able to easily carry Mario around when he gets too tired, that way she doesn't get tired either.

-Late on Mario gets the 'pregnancy brain', he forgets things and sometimes does stupid stuff. Once at their house he dropped a fork, and since it never crossed his mind to ask for help or pick another one from the kitchen cabinet, he ended up stuck in a crouch when trying to reach it, yelling for Luigi to come help him up.

-Donkey Kong and Mario are mean besties, and DK often teases Mario and vice versa. Like DK purposefully drops something and asks in a faux nice voice for Mario to pick it up for him, then does the laugh™ as Mario stares at him unamused.

-DK used to (gently) push Mario to sit in soft furniture and laugh at him for getting stuck. Mario would sulk and cross his arms over his belly until the stupid monkey dignified himself to help him up. Until DK did it one day that Mario had been particularly tired about the pregnancy, and besides the usual reaction he also got misty-eyed and his lower lip wobbled. DK freaked out and couldn't figure out how to console him as Mario silently cried. Peach almost obliterated DK on the spot when she caught them.

-Since then DK isn't as mean with Mario until the babies are born weeks later. Also, he's a bit terrified of Peach now.

-Magma, who's still a toddler, often asks her uncle-mama when the babies are going to come out of his belly so she can meet them.

-They have twin girls! They're identical when they're babies and kids but when they grow older they have more noticiable differences (like height, same as Mario and Luigi and their mom and uncle)

-They’re Nettarina and Mariella. Sadly I don’t care how silly the names are, I like them and so does Mario aksjdksajd

-Mario has strong genes so their babies look a lot more like him than Peach (who’s glad, because she wanted to have two mini Marios!), although he hoped they’d look more like her.

-Mario is already fat and he gets even fatter with the pregnancy.

-The girls (and Magma too) speak fluent italian and english.

And that’s what I have so far! I know i missed some characters that I could have mentioned like Daisy or Toad and others, but maybe I’ll think of them too for another post c:

I hope you liked them, and if you have any other ideas or headcanons feel free to share them, I’d love to know!

[vonrew]

How the Rise!Turts react when you fall asleep on their shoulder as friends! (platonic)

The thought process is that the two of you are watching Luo Jitsu movies, sitting on the couch in the lair, (ik there isn't one but pretend there is) okay trust.)) and you fall asleep on their shoulder! Simple enough.

Raph

Is the most unbothered.

When he feels your head hit his arm he’ll look over at you, see you're asleep, and then go right back to what he was doing.

Like I said, he's the most unbothered. Will let you rest until you wake up. And by god, he will try his hardest not to wake you up. Bc - “You're his friend, and he wouldn't be a good friend if he woke you up.”

Que anyone being a decimal louder than a whisper and he's giving them the “mom look” y’know that look you'd get to hush up? That one.

Gives the nastiest side eye if Leo walks too loud. Gives a mean stink eye if Donnie is messing around in the kitchen and Raph can hear him. (even if he can't see him Raph will burn holes into the nearest wall.) Hushes Mikey if hes loud.

You're waking up on your own accord with this dude watching over you.

Leo

Bro actually shoved you off of him as a first reaction because he didn't think your head touched his shoulder bc you were falling asleep. Even snickered until he turned and saw you staring at him like a dead man.

Immediately apologizes, (he's not sorry) and offers his shoulder. Probably says something silly before actually shutting up.

Like “I just know my shoulder is the comfiest pillow in the lair and that's why-” Then he gives some bull shit response that would have Shakespeare appalled by the use of vocabulary as to why his shoulder is such a delicacy to rest upon.

Is another one to give stink eyes at passersby.

He would probably end up waking you up tbh😭

He would be watching a Lou Jitsu movie and yell “HOT SOUP!” and throw his hands up in the air before remembering you were there. Keyword: were. Bc you are not sleeping through that shout and shake.

Donnie

Freezes at the touch and his face scrunches up before slowly turning towards you.

Lowkey this exact face, just a tad more exaggerated.

Would probably let you get away with it for a short period of time. Like I'm talking long enough for a power nap before he decides he's gonna wake you up.

Yes, he will wake you up himself.

Either tapping you with one of his mechanical arms until you do wake up or just standing up as fast as possible and letting you hit the couch like a sack of potatoes.

There's no in-between and it depends on his mood when deciding your treatment.

Mikey

Is either very aware of your head on his shoulder or doesn't notice like at all.

When he is aware, he tries his hardest to not move a centimeter in fear of waking you up. Bc “If you fell asleep on his shoulder then you must be tired!” is his thought process.

You're either gonna sleep soundly or get woken up after not even ten minutes. If he's aware you're asleep on his shoulder then you're sleeping soundly. Like a baby. But if not? It's a situation much like Leo’s.

Mikey can be very very loud. That's two verys. Now imagine your ear being near his mouth when he shouts- and I mean SHOUTS, along with Lou Jitsu on the screen. He puts his whole heart and soul into it too…

It's like waking up to a really loud alarm in the middle of the night.

He immediately apologizes and makes it up to you by cooking you whatever you want. It doesn't matter what it is, he will make it. That's how bad he feels.

If you guys have any ideas my inbox is open!!

Btw this was not beta read

[simpjaes]

YESSS pls elaborate omg!!! i feel weird for liking it but its like... not fucking real so 😭😭

different step bro jay scenario? LETS GO.

step brother jay who is obsessed with porn and forced to sleep in the same hotel room as you during summer vacation.

for days you have to pretend you don't hear the porn blaring in his headphones in the wee hours of the morning. you have to pretend you can't hear the way his palm slides up and down his length, or the way he shakes and sighs through a silent orgasm.

for a few more of those days, you have to pretend that you don't get wet through it. you avoid that truth at all costs.

Jay doesn't though. Because let's be real. He's in a room with a girl. There are holes just a few feet away that he could and would fuck during his most desperate moments if you'd just.....lay down a hint.

but of course you wouldn't. that's your step brother. that's gross. that's weird. you hate the idea of it.

except you don't. in fact, you find yourself wondering when he's going to start, how long it'll take him to get off, and you even wonder how desperate he must be to have a pussy rubbing all up on him. :/

it's insane, really. the college hormones that can overtake a person. if he wasn't your step brother you probably would have jumped his bones ages ago. but instead you just have to lay there and pretend that you don't start touching yourself in time with him.

you have to pretend you're not moaning out little sighs of dirty talk for him to hear. because you definitely are, but you won't admit it yet.

you have to pretend you hate when he stops his own self-pleasure and rolls over on his bed, staring directly at you, watching his eyes fall to the movement under your blanket as you stare right back.

you have to pretend that you don't love it when he whispers a small "let me see."

you can't pretend you don't have one of the best orgasms of your life as you and jay shameless get off to the image of each other. night after night, at the exact same time, with the exact same muffled moans of wanting more.

neither of you are brave enough to take that next step though. That is, until Jay gets a little tipsy during dinner and when the two of you are back in your locked hotel room, he's immediately throwing himself on the bed, pulling it out, spreading his legs, and looking at you.

"Why shouldn't we?" He says with a drowsy shrug. "I've already gotten off to you like six times since we've been here."

And you'd roll your eyes, pretending that the invitation isn't enticing. It actually sucks, because it's so enticing.

You avoid the final leap by sinking into the bathroom, getting yourself off in the shower rather than in front of him.

He's smarter than that though, even with his light buzz. You left that door unlocked for a reason, and you don't even jump when he slides the shower curtain open and instantly leans in, getting his hair all wet and pretty.

"It's gonna happen one way or another." He says, hands sliding down your slippery body and straight between your legs. "Stop being shy, you're not shy."

He's right about that, because you know he can feel the thickness of your slick against the shower water that runs down into his palm alongside it.

All you can do is look at him before giving in, your knees bucking where he has no issue stepping in, his clothes becoming drenched as he frantically tries to get his pants off of him.

There's a short sigh from him when he's got you pressed up and against the cold shower wall, water pelting the side of your face and forcing your moans to feel wet and echoed.

"Finally." He whispers against your neck, water droplets being sucked into his mouth along with the skin of your neck. He slides in with ease.

so much ease that you wonder if you should be ashamed at all.

[sxxythingz]

Double Fantasy

Neteyam Sully (22) x Lo’ak Sully (21) x Omatikaya reader (22)

Taglist: @savvysscandles this too foreverrrr, I know but here it is!!! I hope you like it! 🥰

Warnings: smut, threesome, cursing, cream pie, aged up characters, a tad bit of dom Neteyam, p in v, oral (m receiving), losing v card/first time (f)

Summary: The Sully brothers both are attracted to a girl, one more willing to own up to it than the other, and they both decide to try their luck 😏

WC: 3.6K

🛑MDNI🛑

“Bro. Just look at her, she’s the sexiest woman that I’ve ever seen.” Lo’ak nudges Neteyam as they both watch you intensely while you sharpen your knives, not even noticing that they’ve been watching you for the past hour. “You say that about every woman that you see, baby bro. What makes her different?” Neteyam chuckles at Lo’ak’s repetition, earning an eye roll from him.

“I’m telling you bro. She’s just different, she’s innocent and hasn’t fucked anyone yet and that’s so rare to find around here. She’s just so different bro.” Neteyam didn’t want to let Lo’ak know that he felt the exact same way about you, but instead he silently agreed with his eyes never leaving you.

“Bro… imagine if she lets us be the first to fuck her. Do you know how amazing that would be? I bet she’s better than all of these girls here, and I’m about to go find out.” Neteyam wasn’t really listening to Lo’ak, but his attention averted straight to him once he spoke those words, his heart dropping in his stomach as Lo’ak begins to walk towards you.

“Lo’ak! Get back here! Why are you- ugh!” Neteyam attempts to protest as he follow Lo’ak but you weren’t that far away from them so they get closer to you, making Neteyam quiet down so that you don’t catch on. Deep down, he wanted the same thing as his brother, but he didn’t want to come off as disrespectful towards you so he always refrained himself.

You finish sharpening your knife and take one final 360 look at it before standing up from your squatting position and sliding the knife into its holder on the right side of your hip. You dust your hands off on your loincloth and look up to see both Neteyam and Lo’ak standing a few feet away from you, looking as if they are almost in a trance.

“Hi guys!” A smile spreads across your face as you throw your hand into the air, waving at both of them. They seem to snap out of their trance as you quickly head towards them, or at least Lo’ak does. “I didn’t notice you guys standing here. What have I missed?” You ask them, furrowing your eyebrows at Neteyam, who seems to be stuck in one spot as he looks at you.

“Oh nothing, w-we just seen you here and we figured that we should come and talk to you, right bro?” Lo’ak looks over to Neteyam who doesn’t say a word and nudges him, making him look over to Lo’ak quickly before nodding his head in agreeance. “Well don’t be shy! Both of you come with me to my hut, let’s catch up since I haven’t seen either of you in a few days. You must have so much to tell me!” You grab both of their hands and begin to walk towards your hut, making both of them glance over at each other with no resistance of following you.

Once you arrive at your hut, they both come in with you and sit on your woven counter that you made as you sit on your cot facing the direction of them. “So… where have you guys been? And what’s been going on?” You smile at both of them as you cross one leg over the other, looking from Neteyam to Lo’ak as you wait for a response.

“Uh well we’ve had training for the past days so we’ve been really bus-“ Neteyam speaks but is quickly interrupted by Lo’ak’s sudden intrusion. “Fuck the small talk. I have a question Y/n.” You furrow your eyebrows at Lo’ak as he slowly cascades over to you, sitting next to you on your cot.

“Don’t take this the wrong way but… are you a virgin?” The words shock Neteyam as he loudly coughs, making you look at him before returning your gaze back towards Lo’ak. “What do you mean Lo? What does that mean?” His eyes widen as he looks over to Neteyam who looks just as confused. “I-I mean have you ever had sex with anybody?” Your eyes quickly glance around the room before shaking your head no as your answer. “Have you ever kissed anyone before?” He asks you another question, earning another silent shake of your head once again.

“Have you even been touched by a man before?” Neteyam butts in as you turn your head towards him and shake your head once again. “I mean I’ve heard stories from my friends about their experiences, and they say that it feels good but I’ve never had those experiences. I would like to try it one day maybe.” You watch them both look at each other, communicating with only their eyes so you would be clueless as to what they’re thinking before Lo’ak speaks to you again.

“Yeah it does feel good. Would you like to try it now?” He asks you, making your heart sink with his words. “I- I would have to choose between one of you though. Wouldn’t that be awkward?” You whisper to Lo’ak as he laughs. “What if you didn’t have to choose between one of us? What if you could get double the pleasure?” You bite the inside of your lip nervously, yet it was as if your body was deceiving your mind. Secretion taking over the seat of your loincloth at the thought of having both of them.

“I-I don’t k-“ You feel Lo’ak’s hands caressing your thigh as he looks over to Neteyam, signaling for him to come sit down on the other side of you and he obliges. “It’s ok. Just give it a chance, baby. It’ll feel so good, just trust us ok?” You watch his eyes glance from your own lips back to your eyes as you slowly nod your head.

His face slowly moves closer to yours until you feel his lips on yours, butterflies eroding through your stomach at the feeling. You feel Neteyam’s hand slowly moving up your thigh as he watches you kiss Lo’ak, his long fingers massaging the inside of your thigh, making you moan into Lo’ak’s mouth. Lo’ak softly wraps his hand around your throat, dominating your mouth with his tongue. You feel Neteyam’s hand continue to move upwards, spreading your legs with every inch until he reaches the wet spot in between your legs.

“Fuck.. she’s so wet.” You hear Neteyam say as you let go of Lo’ak’s lips and look over to him. Neteyam crashes his lips into yours, taking you back as his fingers rub circles over your clothed heat. Lo’ak takes advantage of your exposed neck, licking a long strip up to your ear as you continue to kiss Neteyam. You could clearly tell that they’ve done this before with different girls, but knowing that they already had the experience just made it that much more exciting for you.

Lo’ak reaches to the side of your loincloth, pulling at the string that’s keeping it on your hips and loosening it to drop off of your body. Your heart races as the cool air hits your wet core, making you inhale deeply. You feel the absence of Neteyam being next to you as he gets on his knees in front of you, opening your legs enough to slide himself in between them.

Lo’ak reaches behind you, untying your top to let it fall into his hands where he throws it across the room, leaving you completely nude in front of the brothers. Their eyes scan your body like they’re hunters and you’re the prey. Your chest heaves as you try to cover up, but Lo’ak grabs your hands, bringing them down by your side.

“Relax, we’re gonna take care of you. Just lay back and relax.” You look into Lo’ak’s eyes, then Neteyam’s for reassurance, making both of them smile at you. You take one last deep breath before laying all the way back onto your cot, completely entrusting them with you. Neteyam massages your thighs once again as you feel his hot breath on your pussy, leaving shivers down your spine.

Your anticipation comes to a halt when you feel Neteyam’s warm mouth latch onto your pussy, making your back arch off of the cot with a deep inhale. Lo’ak lays down with you, massaging your boobs and taking your nipple into his mouth to gently suck it. Neteyam draws circles around your clue with his tongue, placing his entire mouth over it to suck gently.

“Fuck..” You moan out, reaching your hand down to grasp Neteyam’s thick braids and pull gently until his entire face is in your core. Lo’ak softly bites at your left nipple, pulling it in between his teeth as your body jerks from the double pleasure. You only ever played with yourself once, even then you had no idea what you were doing, so having both of the boys pleasure in this way is overwhelming.

You grunt and moan as you grind your hips against Neteyam’s face, feeling a blissful sensation spread throughout your lower abdomen like wildfire through a forest. “That’s it baby. Cum for us, you’re doing so good.” Lo’ak unlatches from your nipple to whisper in your ear, taking the lobe into his teeth, your eyes rolling with your lip in between your teeth. “Fuck, I-I think I’m about cum!” You yell out as you try your best to push Neteyam’s head away from you, but Lo’ak quickly grabs your hands and restrains them to keep you from moving any further.

“Let it happen, don’t fight it. We got you princess, be a good girl and cum for us.” His words sending you over the edge as you feel your entire body shaking, Neteyam moaning into you as you paint his tongue with your cum. You ride out your orgasm, your hips staggering as Neteyam licks you clean before standing up to wipe his mouth with a wide smile on his face.

“You taste so good, baby. Want a taste?” Before you can answer his question, he firmly grips your face into his rough hands, pulling your lips to his, instantly opening his mouth and forcing his tongue past your lips for a taste. You moan into the kiss at the taste of yourself on his tongue, you never knew you could taste so good.

You feel as if there is a fire starting between your legs through the kiss. That orgasm isn't enough, you need more. You weren’t so sure at the beginning of this, but now all you knew was that you needed both of them more than anything.

“I… I need more guys.” You break the kiss, panting hard and earning smirks from both of the brothers. “We know, baby. We’re going to try something different, ok?” Lo’ak states, removing himself from beside you to stand up and rid himself of his loincloth, his dick bouncing out leaking precum from the tip. You look over to Neteyam who removes his as well, your eyes bucking at the sight of both the brothers' large sizes.

“Just lay back and relax, ok princess? We’re about to take care of you.” You nod your head at Lo’ak’s words, your heart thumping through your chest at his reassuring words. He drags his rough hands along your thighs, massaging them as Neteyam did as he pulls them apart further. He get in between your legs, fitting like a missing puzzle piece in the space. He gives himself a few more strokes before he looks into your eyes one last time.

“Ready?” His raspy voice rings in your ears, you inhale deeply before nodding your head. You close your eyes, feeling pressure in between your legs as Lo’ak slowly pushes himself into you. You squeal loudly, scrunching your face up and attempting to close your legs around his small waist.

“It’s ok, yawne. You can take it, be the good girl that we know you can be for us.” Neteyam comforts you, lifting your head up to sit himself underneath it, then placing it into his bare lap. He caresses your boobs, gently squeezing them as you breathe out. You see him give Lo’ak a silent nod to continue and with that, he places his hand on your knee, making sure that he has a hold on it before he pushes further into you.

“Fuck! It hurts!” You scream out, your hands flying from your side to push Lo’ak in his chest but before you can even reach him, Neteyam tightly grips your wrists, pulling them up over your head. “Take it, princess. We got you, just trust us.” Your chest heaves up and down in frustration, wanting to remove your wrists from Neteyam’s grip, but loving the way that both the brothers make you feel.

The feeling of Lo’ak being in between your legs, eyeing your every movement, Neteyam holding you and reassuring you that they’ve got you. It’s almost like a dream that you never in a million years would have dreamed. A dream come true.

Lo’ak bottoms out inside of you, you hadn’t even noticed him moving for being too busy staring into Neteyam’s beautiful eyes. The domination of having you under both of their control taking over his eyes, painting them a dark golden color that shimmers in the sunlight that peaks through your hut. The look making you wetter by each second that goes by, making it easier for Lo’ak to stroke into you.

He retracts his hips from you, nearly pulling completely out before snapping his hips back into you earning hisses from both of you. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good. Way better than I imagined.” He whispers into your ear, making you moan at his words. The muscles in your pussy contracting, eating a groan from Lo’ak as he continues to gently stroke in and out of you.

He pulls himself nearly out of you once again, this time ramming his hips into you making you scream out as you ball your hands that are still in Neteyam’s grip into a fist, digging your nails into palms of your hands. “That’s it, you’re doing so good baby. Keep going.” Your eyes roll at Neteyam’s words, feeling your orgasm approaching you quickly.

“I-I c-can’t, fuck! It f-feels so good!” Your voice cracks with every syllable that comes out of your mouth, the warm feeling in your womb taking over your body as Lo’ak seems to hit all of the right spots. You feel your back lifting off of your cot, an arch that almost seems as if you could snap in half. Your eyes rolling to the back of your head, your womb feeling as if it might just burst.

“Oh my- I-I think I’m cumming!” Every stroke that Lo’ak gives you pushing it further and further out of you, making you go crazy. “That’s it baby girl, let it out. Cum all over this dick, give it to me.” Those were the words that sent you over the edge, a pornographic moan escaping from your lips as your breath hitches in your throat, your mouth wide open but with nothing coming out of it.

Your breath finally breaks through your throat as you calm down from your high, Lo’ak pulling out of you before planting a kiss on your lips then getting off of your cot. You quickly avert your head up, watching Neteyam remove himself from underneath you. “Your turn bro.” Lo’ak mumbles to him, his chest heaving up and down with sweat beads pouring down his toned abs.

“Y-Your turn?!” You yell out, you didn’t know if you would be able to take another orgasm after both of the intense ones that you just had to overcome. You hear the brothers chuckle as Neteyam gets in front of you, placing both hands on your waist and flipping you over so that you are on your knees and hands. Lo’ak kneels in front of you on your cot, his dick dripping precum as it comes face to face with you.

“We’re going to try something a little different princess, ok? You’re going to suck his dick while I fuck you.” You hear Neteyam’s voice from behind you before he slides his tip up and down your folds, collecting your slick onto him as you moan and jerk your body forward. He chuckles once again, firmly grapping your waist, giving your ass a hard smack and pulling you back onto him as you gasp loudly.

“Don’t fucking run. As long as you do as I say, I won’t be rough with you. But if you try to run, I’m not going to be easy on you anymore, ok princess?” The authority in Neteyam’s voice earning a loud gulp from you as you nod your head. “Now let me see you suck his dick while I fuck you baby.” You open your mouth, sticking your tongue out, shifting your eyes up to look into Lo’ak’s as he smirks. He slaps the tip against your tongue before he slides himself into your mouth, making you wrap your lips around him.

“That’s it. Good girl.” Neteyam groans from behind you, rutting himself into you, not giving you any time to adjust before he continuously slams his hips against your ass. You bob your head up and down on Lo’ak, moans and whimpers coming out of your throat and sending vibrations through Lo’ak’s dick. “Fuck! You’re so good at sucking my dick baby. Are you sure you were a virgin before us?” He moans out, grabbing your braids into his hand to prevent them from being in your face.

Neteyam continues to ram into you, causing a ripple effect on your ass, his hands firmly placed around your waist. He slows down, pulling himself out and slamming his hips back into you as hard as he can. You remove your mouth from Lo’ak, screaming out and attempting to quickly move up from the pain, but that only adds more fuel to Neteyam’s fire as you hear him laughing.

“Didn’t. I. Fucking. Tell. You. Not. To. Run, hm? Can you not follow directions princess?” You feel a slap to your ass with every word that he speaks, but you knew that if you didn’t take it, there would be worse consequences. “I-I’m sorry Neteyam! It was an accident, I didn’t mean to, I promise!” You screech out, hoping that it would make him give you mercy. “Too late princess. I’m not slacking up, and you’re going to continue to suck his dick. If you stop, it’ll only get worse for you.”

Without warning, he slams back into you, almost seeming as though he reaches your cervix this time. You quickly place your lips back around Lo’ak, knowing that if you didn’t, you would be screaming from the mixture of pain and pleasure all at once. His strokes before were softer, almost as if he was only trying to pleasure you, but this time they seem to only be for pleasuring him.

You can’t lie and say that the simple thought of him using you to pleasure himself wasn’t making you wetter by the second, bringing you closer to your third orgasm of the day. Lo’ak reaches his hand around the back of your head, pushing you all the way down on him as he throws his head back, small grunts falling from his lips. His hips jerk as you gag on him, tears threatening to fall out of your eyes.

You feel him twitching in the back of your throat, signifying that he was close. The rough breaths from both of the brothers making your stomach twist in the best way, you were so close to finishing and you knew that they were too. “Shit! I’m about to cum!” “So am I!” You hear both of the brothers growl, in that moment you decide to perform a movement that Neteyam didn’t expect.

You grind your ass into his hips, sending him over the edge as he digs his fingers into your soft skin, you feel the warm liquid seeping into your womb, feeling you up. As if on cue, Lo’ak releases his cum down your throat, and you drink it up as if it’s the last drink that you’ll have.

Feeling both of them release inside of you pushes your orgasm out of you, your legs shaking as your eyes rolls once again, this time seeming as though they would get stuck. This was the most intense orgasm of the three that you’ve had today. Lo’ak and Neteyam both finally pulls themselves away from you, making you fall flat on your cot as you catch your breath. Your limbs seem to have given out on you, not even being able to pull you up so you could put your cloth back on.

The brothers both laugh as they stare at you laying there, out of breath and tired. They wanted to wear you out and they both knew they had done just that. Lo’ak puts his loincloth back on and so does Neteyam before he finds a piece of your cloth used for cleaning yourself and wiping you clean with it.

They both help you slip your loincloth back on, your legs feel almost numb as you can’t seem to move them so they do the work for you. Neteyam lies down on your cot, laying you on his chest as he rubs his fingers through your soft braids while Lo’ak lies on the opposite side of your cot, a big grin taking over his face.

“You really did amazing, Y/n. You surprised both of us at how well you took us considering this was your first time.” You hear Lo’ak’s voice ringing in your ears, making you confidently smile as you look over to him. “Both of you were fucking awesome. I loved it and it was a lot of fun.” Your gaze goes from Lo’ak to Neteyam as you assure them of how well they both did.

“So that means you enjoyed your first time then, hm?” Neteyam asks you, making you look into his eyes. It feels like a switch just flipped on you as you feel the seat of your loincloth getting drenched once again at the mere thought of what just happened, and how much you want to do it again.

“Enough to do it again right now.” You smirk at both of the brothers, making them look at each other, a tired look in both of their eyes.

They have no idea what they just started, but they’re both in for a long night and you’re just getting started…

A/N: Ok so I literally just got a sudden wave of energy to perfect this and go ahead and post so that’s why I’m literally posting at almost 3 A.M. 😭 but thank you guys for being so patient with me, I just started a new job and it’s literally Monday-Friday so I have been drained! But now that I’m used to the schedule, I can get back to posting every 4-5 days! Anyways, you’ve read enough so I hope you guys enjoyed and thank you guys for the likes, it means so much! 💖

[oddinary4bts]

hii i have an angsty drabble request for jk x reader pleasee but with a happy ending :)

Reader overhears Jungkook talk to his friends and mention how she’s always clinging on to him and doesn’t let him breathe sometimes and that she’s annoying because she’s too loud and energetic. When he comes back home she acts the complete opposite and tries to avoid him without letting him know what’s going on, until he realises that he actually prefers her clingy and loud🥺

Sorry if i went into too much detail

For some reason this was hard to write?? I hope it's still good and what you wanted to get <3

What's wrong? | jjk

☆pairing: Jungkook x reader

☆rating: 15+ (I use curse words a little too much for me to rate this PG 13 hahaha)

☆genre: slice of life!au, angst, fluff

☆warnings: unedited, alcohol, pet names, curse words, Jimin and Seokjin are sorta mean? but not really

☆word count: 2.8k

☆☆☆☆☆    

   

You like hanging out with Jungkook. Like that he invites you whenever he goes to eat at his friends’ house, like how he just includes you in his life all the time. You want to be with him – always. You’re aware that it might be a problem, that you’re young and shouldn’t be spending your entire time with him, but still you’re at an age where you see yourself settling down, building a lifelong relationship.

And of course you want it to be with him.

You’ve been drinking a couple of beers with Jungkook and his friends Jimin, Taehyung and Seokjin. Jungkook is staying sober, as he’s the one driving tonight, but you’re two beers in and you have the biggest need to go to the bathroom. You’re sitting next to him, and a look to his profile has you smile dreamily.

You can’t believe you’ve landed the man of your dreams in your early twenties. You never thought you had luck in life, until you met Jungkook. So you don’t hesitate before pressing a kiss to his cheek, telling him that you’ll be right back.

You’re quick in the bathroom, already excited to be back by his side. You step out after having cleaned your hands, taking three steps towards the living room, but you freeze in your spot when you hear your name being said, followed by, “Is she always clingy like that?”

You’re pretty sure it’s Seokjin speaking. Then, “Doesn’t it get on your nerves?” This time you think it’s Jimin, and your previous joyful state slowly falls as you keep listening, even though you know you shouldn’t.

“Yeah,” Jungkook says flatly. “She’s always clingy. Sometimes I feel like she doesn’t even let me breathe.” Each of his words stabs through your heart, and you instinctively put a hand above the spot that aches as he continues. “I can’t even see you guys alone.”

You want to tell him he’s full of shit, because he’s the one that invites you all the time, but all you can do is listen.

“And she’s so loud too,” Jungkook continues, and it makes you wonder how long he’s been bottling up everything inside. Because it’s the first you’ve heard him complain about you, and it really doesn’t feel good. “She’s always moving, always speaking, sometimes I just want to tell her to stop.”

“Bro,” a voice says. Taehyung. “She just went to the bathroom, she might hear.”

From where you are you can even hear Jungkook’s sigh before he says, “Right. I don’t know, it’s just been a lot.”

His friends offer him words of reassurance that you don’t really listen to, Jungkook’s words just spinning in your mind. It takes a moment for the hurt to shift to anger, but when it does you clench your jaw, determined to make him regret saying that.

If he thinks you’re too clingy, you’ll offer him the exact opposite. So when you go back, stopping to grab another drink in the kitchen first, you sit on the other couch, next to Seokjin. Seokjin offers you a tight-lipped smile, and you try to smile as brightly as you can, ignoring Jungkook’s confused look as he stares at you.

You keep the act on for the whole evening. Even in the car, on the way home, you angle yourself towards the window, answering with ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or ‘I don’t know’ to whatever Jungkook says. The perfect picture of indifference.

When you get home, Jungkook asks you if you want to watch the episode of the anime you watch together that was released earlier today, and you tell him he can watch it without you.

“What?” he lets out, but you’re already strutting out of the room, moving towards the office where your PC gaming set-ups are.

Jungkook follows you, watching you turn your PC on, and when the monitor comes to life he leans against the doorframe.

You ignore him, putting your headset on. You type your password in, and then as the computer finishes turning on, you spare a single glimpse towards him. He looks like he wants to say something, but he remains silent.

When he figures that you’re really going to game, he moves to his own PC, turning it on as his tongue plays with his piercing. His eyes burn into your profile, but you keep on ignoring him, focusing on the Steam store page. You move to your collection, scrolling down as you search for a game to play. You settle on F1 2023, even though you usually never play alone, and as the game loads Jungkook speaks.

“Do you want to play together?” he asks. “We could play in multi…”

“No, all good,” you interject before he’s even finished his sentence.

Now, his tongue pokes at his cheek before he nods curtly. He chooses to play Overwatch instead, which doesn’t surprise you, and you sit in silence for about an hour, except the occasional curses he lets out because he keeps losing.

You don’t lose. You’re playing the storyline, which you’ve always found pretty easy, and you just enjoy the races, ignoring how your heart still aches from what Jungkook said. At some point, Jungkook curses loudly, and you glance at him once, an eyebrow cocked, before focusing on the race that is starting in your game.

When you finish it, you decide to call it a night, turning your PC off and pushing your chair back from your desk so you can get up. That attracts Jungkook’s attention, and he’s quick to ask, “Where are you going?”

You don’t even answer because, what would be the point of that? Instead, you go to your bedroom, where you retrieve a PJ and some clean underwear, and then you make your way to the bathroom. You close the door behind you, locking it even though you usually never lock the door. You take a quick shower, mostly to wash yourself before going to bed because you just can’t go to bed if you haven’t showered. You’re stepping out of the shower when the doorknob turns, though it blocks because of the lock.

“What…” you hear Jungkook mutter. And then a little louder, “Is something wrong?”

“No,” you reply.

You can tell he hasn’t moved from behind the door, though you busy yourself with doing your skincare. You’re putting your toner on when Jungkook speaks again.

“Why did you lock the door?” he asks, and he sounds whiny.

“I felt like it,” you say, voice just as flat as it’s been since you’ve heard him at his friend’s place.

He doesn’t like that answer. It’s clear as spring water, especially as he follows it with, “You can’t be serious”.

You cock an eyebrow even if he can’t see you, but don’t say anything as you finish doing your skincare. When you open the door to head to bed, Jungkook is still standing on the other side.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asks the moment you come into view.

You shrug. “Nothing. What’s wrong with you?”

He frowns, and that adorable pout of his appears on his lips. You don’t let it affect you – you can’t let it affect you.

“You’ve been weird since we left Taehyung and Jimin’s place,” he says slowly. His tongue pokes at his cheek, before swiping at his piercing. “Something is clearly wrong.”

You shrug your shoulder. “Nah, all good. I’m going to bed.”

He doesn’t stop you as you breeze past him, heading towards the bedroom. He does watch you go, and you almost turn around to tell him that you heard him and that he hurt you. But you decide to make him wait longer, because you can tell that he doesn’t like how you’ve been acting.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

You’re on your side of the bed, facing the wall and scrolling on your phone when Jungkook comes in, hair wet from his own shower. The mattress dips when he sits on the other side and you hear him sigh loudly.

“What’s wrong?” he asks once more. “You’ve been so weird… Did something happen?”

“No.”

You focus on your phone, even as he whines, “Don’t play the innocent game, baby, I can recognize when you’re mad.”

You sigh, loudly, and maybe exaggerating the sound a little. You do like your dramatics after all.

“Am I mad?” you ask, still not looking at him. “Do I have a reason to be mad?”

You can hear the frown in his voice when he says, “Clearly you do. But I’m a little lost.”

At that you turn on your back to glance at him where he’s sitting. He’s only wearing the boxers he usually wears to sleep, and it almost makes you forget all about what he said earlier. You hold on strong though, saying, “I thought you didn’t like me when I’m clingy”.

His mouth falls open as his gaze widens in recognition. “Oh,” he lets out. “You heard me.”

He deflates as you nod curtly, before turning your back to him again to focus on your phone. Mostly because the reminder suddenly has tears forming in your eyes, and it makes your heart ache in your chest uncomfortably.

“Babe,” he gently says. When you don’t turn, he presses, “Come on, babe, look at me”.

You’re stubborn. You don’t turn, don’t say anything. Just blink away the tears that are slowly winning against your will not to cry.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he says after a moment of silence, only interrupted by the sniffle you fail at keeping in.

“Whatever, Jungkook.”

He scoffs. “Don’t whatever me. And don’t call me Jungkook.”

It’s true. You usually never call him by his first name, preferring to call him Kookie.

“I’m really sorry you heard me say that,” he adds after you haven’t said a thing for almost a minute. “I’ve always found you clingy but… I don’t mind, babe, I promise.”

“It’s a little too late for you to say that,” you answer, and you turn off your phone, resting it face down on the bed so you can wipe the tear that’s escaped from your eye, tickling the bridge of your nose where it refused to fall.

“No, seriously,” he insists. “I really like when you’re clingy. I’m sorry if it came out sounding as if I don’t.”

“You complained about not being able to see the guys alone,” you point out. “As if you’re not the one to invite me all the time.”

He moves, and the bed shifts as he gets closer. He puts a hand on your arm, but you shrug off his touch.

“I do invite you all the time,” he says. “Because I want you to be there.”

“Didn’t sound like you want me to be there at all, Kookie.”

The nickname has him put his hand on your arm again, and this time you let him do it.

“I know, I realize that now,” he says carefully. “I’m really sorry I said that. You are clingy, that’s true, but it’s what I love the most about you.”

“What about me being loud?”

He hums, realizing that you’ve heard that part too. “I love your energy. Always makes me smile. It felt so weird tonight because you barely spoke.”

“Yeah…” you let out.

“It made me realize that the reason why I love you is because you’re loud and energetic and always trying to goof around. It can be a lot to handle for some people, but not for me.”

“Kookie…”

“I’m serious!” He pauses and when he pulls on your arm you let him turn you on your back. He bristles at the sight of your tears, quickly drying them. “Fuck,” he curses as he wipes your cheeks. “I’m so, so, sorry. I was so stupid.”

“You can’t say shit like that,” you tell him, and a new wave of tears hits.

“I’m fully aware,” he says as he blanches, showing you just how affected he is by you crying. “Please be clingy. Be clingy and annoying and never leave me alone.” He lies down to pull you in his arms, and you rest your forehead against his chest. “Be my favourite pain in the ass. I don’t want it any other way. I should have realized before.”

“But why did you say that in the first place?” you ask. “It was mean.”

“I know…” he trails off. It takes him a moment to collect his thoughts, but he soon says, “Honestly I think I just said that because I’ve been exhausted because of how busy it’s been at work. I attributed it to you, which was the dumbest thing I could do.”

“You have been busy,” you comment, because it's true. You've seen how it's affecting him.

“Yeah.”

There’s a silence, as he just runs a soothing hand on your back, pressing soft kisses on the top of your head once in a while.

 “You know,” you eventually say. “If you want to hang out alone with your friends, you can. I really don’t mind not coming every time.”

“But I want you to be there!” he insists. “I really do, I promise.”

You sigh, nuzzling your face further into his chest. “Are you sure?” you mumble against his skin.

“Yes.” He presses another kiss to the top of your head, his grip tightening around you. “And now I’m going to be the clingy one because you scared me tonight.”

“Why?” you choke out as he holds you so tight you almost can’t breathe anymore.

He loosens his grip just a little, before saying, “I don’t know, I felt so awful after saying that. I think I realized right away that I actually didn’t feel like that at all and that I was just using you as a scapegoat because I didn’t want to speak about work with the boys.” He pauses, shifting a little so your head is resting on his chest now as he lies on his back. “And then you were distant all evening and I thought ‘that’s it, she’s going to break up with you, you stupid idiot’.”

For some reason, that makes you giggle against him.

“What?” he asks.

“I won't break up with you, but you really are a stupid idiot.”

You can almost hear him roll his eyes, though knowing him he probably has a teasing smile on his lips. “But I am your stupid idiot.”

“You are,” you answer, wrapping your arm around his waist so you can hold him close.

“I really am sorry I said that,” he says after another comfortable silence. “I should have spoken to you about it first. Saying it to the guys was low of me.”

You nod. “It was. But I’m not angry at you, I understand where you’re coming from. I do move a lot and speak a lot, so if you’ve been tired then it’s probably been a lot to handle.”

“But I love handling it, don’t take me the wrong way,” he says. One of his hands moves under your jaw, making you tilt your head back until he’s looking at you in the eyes. “I love your bubbly personality, it’s the reason why I started dating you in the first place.” He pecks the tip of your nose, before adding, “With you there’s never a boring moment. And I don’t want any boring moments in my life. I just want you.”

“Gosh,” you mumble, as you feel yourself blushing. “Why are you so cheesy?”

“You deserve it!” he exclaims, and you both laugh softly. “I’ll be so cheesy from now on you’ll hate me.”

“I don’t like cheesy,” you mumble in agreement, though the smile on your lips tells otherwise.

“Don’t care, you’ll get it anyway,” he teases, and he kisses your lips then.

His pink lips are infinitely soft. Always are, even in the middle of the winter. You don’t know how he manages to achieve that – your lips are chapped as soon as the weather is a little dry. But his are soft, always, and it feels like heaven to kiss him. The ache that was in your heart finishes dissolving then, as you focus on how his mouth moves against yours, how he sighs softly in the kiss.

And when you pull away, he presses another kiss to your forehead. “I love you, baby,” he says, lips moving against your forehead. “I’m so sorry I was a dick tonight. I won’t ever do it again.”

You nuzzle your face in his neck, pecking the mole he has there. He laughs, arm tightening against you.

“I accept your apology, Kookie,” you say. “But please don’t say stuff like that to your friends again. We can talk about it first.”

“I promise,” he says. “I’ll be the one to get on your nerves now, you’ll see.”

“You always get on my nerves,” you tease, just because you feel like being a little shit.

“Excuse me?” he asks, and you hear the pout in his voice.

“I love you too, Kook.”

Now it turns into a smile when he says, “That’s better.”

And the best thing is, it really is.

[n3ptoonz]

How’d u think earth realm boys would react to their wife telling me there ready for kids 🎤

mk1 hcs: how the earthrealm guys react to their wife being ready for kids

warnings/tags: suggestive, fluff, female reader obv

Liu Kang

The way you brought it up was so subtle and casual. It was during his downtime, which was kinda rare. A simple "Hey...I think I'm ready to have children." and Liu is looking at you with surprised eyes and a full heart.

Being the kind of man Liu is, and how busy his life has become since being appointed as a god, this man set an exact date and time where there would be zero distractions. All his focus and effort was on you. And in you (ba dum tss)

So be prepared for a long night of passion, love, lust, and care. Cause you're not leaving that bed until you've gotten every last drop

Doesn't mind the gender. Boy, girl, he would love them just the same. Hell, even if it was more than one child at once, he wouldn't hesitate to give them the world.

Smoke

You mentioned it while you two were cuddled up on the couch. Little did you know how red his face turned until you felt his heart beat increase in real time, looking up at him with his genuine concern.

At first you thought he was nervous or probably didn't want to, and once he saw your slight frown he immediately countered that thought. He was so excited he froze. Endless reassurance from him until you verbally say you got it.

Did you think he wouldn't nervously suggest you start as soon as possible?? Pish posh, you are sad- happily mistaken. "Why not try right now?" he said, except he's stuttering over his own words and sweating profusely. No matter how many times you've been intimate with one another, he's always nervous around you <3

Gender doesn't matter to him either, however he does lean more on the side of a daughter. Simply because he'd die at the sight of a little girl running around the house that looked like you. If you had a son though, he'd be sure he doesn't meet ol uncle Bi Han bro would prob try to recruit

Johnny Cage

What if I told you he brought the idea to you one day as a "joke" and you're immediately like "That's crazy, I was going to say the same thing!"? You both looked at each other with narrowed eyes before making a run for it to the bedroom

Less talk, more action. It's safe to say y'all were up all night, touchin', lovin', going multiple rounds to the point where you forgot the entire reason for heading straight to bed. But hey, who's complaining? Johnny promised to tap that at the earliest opportunity (yes, i went there)

He SWORE that cowgirl and mating press were the "only efficient ways" to make sure you'd definitely get pregnant. As if going raw wasn't enough already-

Daughter. He wants a daughter. Give the man a daughter. He won't shut up about being a girl dad when you aren't even a month in yet. He's practicing dad jokes. Even coming up with ones that are tailored to daughters. Has a CVS receipt list of girl names and the only one you both decided that was perfect is "Cassandra/Cassie" (wink) He CANNOT wait to have another favorite girl in his life to spoil!

Raiden

It was after training. You finished first and watched him complete his, and the idea came to you while he was helping one of the younger recruits. You just laid it on him without warning: "I think we should have kids." and cue him almost spitting out his water. Was he dreaming?!

Another nervous one who blushed and stuttered a bunch upon trying to conjure up a response. The thought of having a child with you has been on his mind for some time now and it's like you read his mind, he just didn't want to overwhelm you.

Speaking of overwhelming, that was all out the window once you got home. Going from a peaceful walk to a heated make out session on a matter of seconds. Not to mention, you both had a longgg day of training and could use a shower...why not save some money on the water bill!

Raiden is too good with all types of kids to really have a preference. Growing up with his little sister AND kung lao gave him experience on both sides

Kung Lao

After your weekly sparring session, you got to thinking. You're already married, you've seen him handle kids and younger people well, and most of all he looks so damn hot when he's sweaty and out of breath. Not an unfamiliar sight to you at all!

It was when you two went to Madam Bo's for a good after-spar meal when you slyly threw it into the conversation. Mid bite, he couldn't help but back up from his food and look at you with that classic smirk he does and his dimples are fully visible (currently dying at this imagery.) And he'd end up saying something cocky but playful like "You think I'd oppose you carrying the next great Kung Lao?"

Got straight to it when you got home. Luckily you had already showered after the session, otherwise the water bill would've been looking like a traditional Chinese scroll after you were done. Prepare for his teasing, flirtatiousness, and pride to be multiplied by a thousand

I feel like he'd want a boy, and we all know why. He's not at all opposed to the idea of having a daughter. But if your first child was a daughter, you're going back to that king sized mattress once you've fully healed and trying again! (who's complaining 🤨)

Kenshi Takahashi

He had come home from a long day of a series of trips and tasks given by Liu Kang. You were in the kitchen brewing some tea late at night just because when you heard him come in. He wasn't exhausted, but you could tell he just wanted to drop everything and spend all his time with you the way he plopped down at the dining table.

When you offered food he politely declined since he had already eaten earlier. But he could sense something else was on your mind by the slight shift in your tone. Being visually impaired, his auditory has improved considerably since. "Is something on your mind?" he asked. "I think we should have kids." you responded, sitting next to him with your cup of tea.

He was at full attention now, whatever tired him from the day vanished just like that. You took his silence as uncertainty, so as you began to start listing the pros and benefits, he quickly cut you off with a "Let's do it." "Seriously?" you said, just to make sure you heard him. He stood and took your hand in his, "I'm very serious. We can start tonight, tomorrow, next week. The sooner the better." (hey, starting tonight didn't sound like a bad idea 😮‍💨)

He says he doesn't really stress the gender, but he'd like a son. Kenshi would adore your child under any circumstance, but being an only child (idk if that's canon but it's gonna be today XD) who practically raised most of his younger cousins who mostly consisted of girls, he gets a little giddy at the thought of having an older son younger daughter dynamic around the house.

Sub Zero

With how busy he is all the time and how even more tense he's become since the rift, it was a little difficult to find a way to get his undivided attention. However, the whole reason he married you is because you don't take any shit. You voiced your opinions and concerns whenever you deemed fit, and it never got in his way. So, you waltzed into his office on a mission.

It was one of the few times he wasn't running around or training his heart out. He just got done talking to Cyrax when you walked in looking as determined as the day you met. He knows you never interrupt him unless it's something terribly important. At a moment's notice, he gestured for Cyrax to leave so you could speak your peace.

"What is it?" he asked. You made sure the door was securely closed behind you before walking over to sit in his lap. He was quite surprised but also would be lying if he claimed he didn't enjoy it. "Let's have kids." you said. He always told you to be blunt with him about anything, and this was no exception. "Alright." he replied, seldom reason to say no, especially to the love of his life.

Bi Han would for sure want a son. He's set on carrying on tradition, even if he did oppose some of his late father's views. If you had a daughter as your first born, like Kung Lao y'all aren't stopping until you had a son. Though, he knows he will have to learn to raise your kids better than how he was raised. He'd rather die than ever neglect or overwork his children. Plus, you wouldn't have any of that anyway.

Scorpion

Despite being busy a lot as the head of his new clan, he always makes time for you. All his down time was yours unless you said otherwise. You were giving fighting advice to a recruit when Kuai approached you, a gentle warm hand on your shoulder. Earlier in the day, you said you wanted to talk in his free time

After excusing yourself and talking to him on the way to his office, you wasted no time laying it on him. "Kuai...I think we're ready for kids." He stops in his tracks and looks directly into your eyes. "...You're sure about this?" he asks softly, taking your hands in his with the most gentle gaze you've ever seen from him. He's been thinking about this for a while now, but didn't know how to bring it up. Your approving nod with a smile set his heart ablaze with happiness.

Because of his busy schedule, like some of the other kombatants with a lot on their plate, there's a set day and time. And once that time comes...it's tiimmeee (mariah carey voice) That night is gonna be filled with romance and deep love for one another.

Kuai wants a boy. He, like Kenshi, wants the older son and younger daughter dynamic, but for no particular reason. He just likes it. His feelings wouldn't change if your first kid was a girl though, the older daughter younger son dynamic would remind him of how his mother treated Tomas when they were kids before she passed.

a/n: as a mf who doesn't even want kids, this was so fun and cute to write omg😭ty anon for the idea! remember y'all my asks are open and i'd be down to do x or 11 if you want! just clarify pls <3

[multifandomslxt]

NCT 127 and their sugar daddy ratings Pt.2

part 3 coming soon

Moon Taeil

Solid 10/10 (THE perfect candidate...as long as you listen.)

He's a finance bro lmaooo

he makes bank

and could easily open his own business

but

"it's too much of a bother and then I won't have time to spend with you"

you met in a cafe

you spilled hot coffee all over his laptop

and while you were apologizing he said it was fine

and pulled another one out of his bag.

lmao.

Y'all kicked it off though.

where Yuta is Possessive

Taeil is the strictest mf sugar daddy out there bih

he speaks once

so you better fucking listen

if he says

"no, you can't have that y/n"

do not

and I repeat

DO NOT TEST THIS MAN!

he will break your fucking back

"you are well aware that I do not like to repeat myself so be a good fucking girl and quit your fucking whining."

he gets angry in a calm way

and we all know how calm men fuck when they get angry lmaoooo.

It's important to also note that

when he takes care of you

he takes care of you for the long run.

invests some of your allowances into stocks

btw your monthly allowance is a 100k

"omg but he's just in finance"

I forgot to mention that he owns a lot of stock as well

hence, he makes a damn good amount of money

you only got 100k because you begged him to

LOWER it.

if it were up to him you would've been getting more than that.

with that being said

most of the time you don't even get to spend most of your money

why?

because he is ALWAYS buying you shit.

Mark Lee

an excellent 8.5/10 (he's a good man Savannah!!!! just don't tease him lol.)

He is an author.

a very successful one at that.

he doesn't even write books for the money no more

at this point, it's just for fun lmaoo

Yall met at one of his book signings

surprisingly made the first move

by writing his phone number on the back of your signed book

it was horrible handwriting btw you couldn't make out if it was a 3 or an 8

obviously, you contacted him (because who tf wouldn't??)

and yall kicked it off

and started dating

yes he is Also your boyfriend and Sugar daddy

he is definitely the type to spend on you only when you're in a serious relationship

he wouldn't do the plain sugar daddy -sugar baby relationship

hence the 8.5

if you haven't listened to Radio by Lana del Rey

then please do because

your entire relationship is the exact vibe that song gives off

has an obsession with buying you diamonds every time he travels

spends on you to the point where you have to BEG him

to let you at least buy coffee for yourself

once bought you an entire coffee shop because you said you liked the Caramel Machiatto one time.

he's so damn playful and dorky most of the time honestly

you have to initiate skinship most of the time

unless you tease him...

chileeeeeeee

now about teasing him...

you know that shit we like to pull

talking bout "You wouldn't know what to do with all this"

and

"you can't handle me"

yeahhh that shit don't fly over here lmaooo

he has fucked you in the car at the side of the road multiple times

just because you like to talk big.

"Cock so deep in your pussy and all of a sudden you can't speak huh?"

"repeat what you said, I can't handle this? the fuck am I doing right now then?"

listen he fucks you so hard you actually scream and cry out

he becomes ruthless\so different from what you're usually used to

if he feels guilty about being too rough

he buys you one of three things

a house

a plane ticket

or another diamond...

Kim Doyoung

please you already know 12/10 (The man himself. Stict as hell though)

He is 100% on the Forbes 30 under 30 list

The man is Powerful, influential, and Wealthy.

he's also really nice and sweet in public

even doing volunteer work

He could've stopped working by 23

but he didn't and now he has money to last generations

yall met at an animal shelter where both of you were volunteering

He immediately took a liking to you

yes...he's a boyfriend/sugar daddy as well

HE IS TRADITIONAL.

You my love, will not lift a finger

you wanna go somewhere?

his chauffeur will drive you

you wanna get some new clothes?

LV, Chanel, YSL Etc.

You hungry?

he has the most expensive restaurants on speed dial

one thing bout Doyoung

he not finna let you stay in no damn crappy apartment

IMMEDIATE UPGRADE

The type to get pissed off if your old apartment locks aren't as secure as they need to be.

I can confidently say that you have the power to turn a morally good man into a fucking criminal.

WHEN IT COMES TO YOU THE MAN WILL DO ANYTHING!

You would argue with him that he babies you too much

which would piss him tf off

you made a mistake once and ghosted him for a week

Nigga showed up at your apartment @3 in the morning

demanding an explanation

"you better have a damn good explanation for acting like a fucking brat."

he is so fucking stern with you

it turned you tf on (Can't blame you)

he is 100% fucking you on the spot

"Spoiling you is something I'm supposed to do. So shut your fucking mouth and take it."

Made sure to let you know that the next time you ghost him (there wont be a next time)

he'd fuck you in his office with the blinds open.

[derangedanomaly]

hi! Could I have some Bad Sanses headcannons with a new member (crush or future s/o) who has the power to control time but doesn't think that power is a big deal?

Like, he thinks it's not a big deal because he only knows how to see the future and that's it (because the power isn't trained yet)

(please make reader male or gender neutral)

Sorry if it's confusing, english is not my first language :(

Nah, you don't have to worry. Your English is fine! I understood you very well ^^

I'll do male reader, since there's not many for my guys out there! But as I know myself, I think that it won't be mentioned much, so I guess that you can still take it as gender neutral?

Enjoy!

Masterlist

Bad Sanses with a time manipulator reader (male)

(Nightmare, Killer, Dust, Horror, Error)

Nightmare:

The only thing he's thinking right now, is; This dude can benefit me so much!!

Yeah... You just got yourself in a trap 😀

He doesn't listen to you when you tell him how you think your power is useless. He's literally ordering the others to train you while you're yapping.. wants to see your powers immediately.

He's kinda- disappointed when he finds out that you can only see the future. (Mf should've listened when you were telling him that 🙄)

These thoughts immediately disappear when he figures out that you can literally tell them the exact time the Star Sanses attack them.

Overall.. really manipulative.. constantly manipulates you into doing so many things for them- and they're not for the greater good either. 💀

Killer:

Mf does NOT believe you. (At first I mean)

You get bored of him asking you to prove your powers so fast 💀

"If you can read the future, then tell me what I'm going to do next!!" Immediately followed by your answer: "You're gonna call me a liar." "I KNEW IT!! YOU LIAR!!" "......" "You just had luck.." mhm. Yeah, sure. Luck.

His mouth literally dropped when he finds out that you in fact wasn't lying..

Now that he knows your powers are legit... Oh boy... He's gonna abuse the shit out of that..

And I don't mean it in the same way as the way Nightmare's using you, no! More like a.... Goofy way??

Bro's gonna be asking you about the next time he falls down the stairs, so he'll be prepared for that and not fall down. (He still will fall down.)

He will feel sympathy for you after Nightmare starts using you.. but he can do nothing with that. So... He cuddles you! (As a way of comfort) Only if you want to of course.

Dust:

Oh this nerd... He'll absolutely believe you! Like- the first time you tell them, he believes you. Wants to know more, actually.

He's probably the one you get close to the first, because he talks to you so often. I mean- they never really met anyone like you before!

He wants to document every single thing about you. Huh? Why are you asking him why your favorite food is important for this? That's only for him to know! (The dude is just a *closeted* hopeless romantic)

Wants to help you with the fact you can only see the future.

Visibly rolls his eyes whenever Nightmare is ordering you around.

Literally cannot stand the fact Nightmare is just using you, but he can't do anything about it... I mean, who in their right mind would argue with NIGHTMARE? Not him. That's for sure. But he will offer you comfort.

Horror:

Doesn't really care about your powers, but he does find it interesting.

Doesn't ask you as much questions as Dust does, but he does ask a bit about it.

He's probably the second one you get close to, and that's mainly because he sticks to Dust a lot, so he's basically a part of y'all's conversations. (Except he doesn't say anything 💀)

He doesn't want to use you for your powers, simply because it doesn't benefit him. (And he also doesn't think it's right.)

He WILL be pretty mad that Nightmare's using you. Will try to fight with Nightmare over this, but Dust stops him. (We all know that that wouldn't end good.)

From now on, Horror will always stick by your side, ready to defend you or help you out whenever! (Congratulations)

Error:

He actually thinks that your powers are dope.

He also wants to see your powers in action, similar to Nightmare, but he doesn't want to use you.

You might be asking, why? Well, his ego is bigger than the fucking sky, so he comes to the conclusion that he doesn't need for you to tell him the future, because he.."can predict Ink's move", he's also technically not part of Nightmare's team, it's basically just a part-time for him. (Whenever he's needed, or he's bored🤷‍♀️).

He's probably the last one, (not counting Nightmare), you get closer to. It's mainly because you don't see him often though.

He still lives in the anti-void, and spends a lot of time there, that's why. But you're not on bad terms either. (Don't have any reason to.. yet.)

Not much to say, really. You two don't interact much. But you can change that 😏

[lobautumny]

The rhetoric of anti-porn ideologues is as insidious as it is annoying. They use the fact that porn addiction is a real phenomenon to paint anyone who consumes porn to any extent as an addict, which is patently delusional, but calling someone a desperate addict is a really easy way to get random people who don't know anything about the person being attacked onto the attacker's side, because if the audience don't know them and they try to defend themself as not being an addict, then it's very easy for the attacker to just go "see? Obviously they're just in denial and need help."

Another thing is that they start at a reasonable premise: Yes, porn addiction is a real thing that some people succumb to in the same way that one can get addicted to anything enjoyable, and there are businesses that should be under scrutiny that weaponize that fact and actively try to pray on addicts, which can ruin their lives much further than the addiction itself would on its own. But then the anti-porn acolyte falsely equivocates this very reasonable stance with "all porn is inherently damaging to society, and anyone who consumes porn to any extent is an addict."

The fact that people who do this schtick genuinely get a lot of respect despite literally just being puritans who farm clout by harassing random people online is as depressing as their shitty, anti-fun ideology and this toy's sick of seeing them.

There's a popular Youtube video essayist who made a tweet a while back claiming that all fetish porn is inherently immoral and fetishes have no place in an advanced society, and his sources boiled down to "trust me bro." He doesn't even give any kind of coherent argument for his stance. He just kind of asserts, based on nothing, that kink is a major contributing factor to how much mental illness exists in the world and that 90% of the world agrees with him. He then goes on to call anyone who disputes his claims a desperate addict attacking him from degenerate subreddits, and he paints his detractors in this way specifically to avoid having to make an actual counterargument to anything they are saying, because then he would sound like a stupid pseudointellectual asshole (precisely what he is) because he doesn't have a counterargument in the first place.

And if you find yourself thinking, while reading this, "Hm, this all mirrors a lot of argument tactics commonly used by a particular group who are known for not being too terribly fond of minorities, especially jewish people," you would be exactly correct. This toy's not saying that every anti-porn ideologue is a nazi, but a lot of them are reactionary conservatives who, at the very least, are not fond of the LGBT, and most of the ones who aren't still use the same exact rhetorical tactics based on dogma and harassment that nazis use to prop their bigotry up and make anyone who disagrees with them look like some kind of sickly degenerate, and that should be a red flag for anyone. In fact, unironic use of the word "degenerate" to negatively describe others should always raise alarms in your mind.

It's really incredible how scared so many people are of sexuality. This toy thinks a lot of it comes down to projection. Like, yeah, it sucks that you got addicted to porn at an early age and it stunted your social development or whatever, but perhaps your personal experiences are not universal. This toy doesn't want to say "skill issue" to people who have had genuine struggles with addiction, but damn, some people make it hard not to.

[eijirousbestie]

“Order when you’re ready.”

gym bros kiribaku

unexpected visit

smoothie king???

“lemme get uhhhh…” energy

this is by far my longest one shot sooo

* * *

“What do you think would happen if—”

“No.”

“…I didn’t even get to finish.”

“I’d rather you not honestly.”

“What? It’s not gonna be bad or anything.” You try to hold back a laugh at the sheer amount of annoyance you’ve given the man in less than thirty minutes of his workout.

He sets down the barbell he was benching and adds more weight to it. 25 pounds to be exact. He could really add 40 more but he didn’t want to seem like he was trying too hard in front of you.

“If any of your sentences start with ‘what if’ I know it’s gonna be something outrageous hun.” He shines you a pretty, lopsided smile. One that meant his words hold no harm.

“So you should be used to it. Anyways, like I was saying, what would you do if I slapped—holy shit are you benching 315 right now?” The last thing on your mind was your dumbass question.

Quite frankly, you’d already forgotten it after being so caught up in shamelessly ogling Kirishima’s tensed muscles as he benched. Amidst the intense staring, you hadn’t even noticed—nor counted—how many weights he’d actually been putting on. 315 pounds? There’s no way he could lift that much. He had to have been showing off. Yeah, that’s it.

The sharp clang of metal meeting metal brought your focus back to the redhead as he set the last weight on the bar. “Spot me?” Of course you’d happily agreed and made your way behind the bar as Kirishima made quick to re-tie his hair in a neat bun. He’d always looked so good with his hair up. Over the years, it’d grown long enough to tie back. But even having used box dye for years on end, his hair is beautifully kept. Shiny and soft, ends neatly trimmed and laid.

Making his way over to you, he leans his back against the cushion of the bench and plants his feet flat on the floor on either side of the seat for stability. He doesn’t grab the bar yet but he does gaze up at you, his face upside down from your view.

“I know it’s a lot of weight but if I start sputtering and flailing just let the bar crush me.”

“The hell? You know I could just slide the weights off right?”

“Mmh true but I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself trying to save me. Hypothetically.”

“That has to be the dumbest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Now you know how it feels to be on the other end of a dumb question huh?” You give him the blankest stare you can muster.

“Do you want me to spot you or not?”

“No wait please. I actually do need you to watch. Haven’t benched this much since high school.” High school?

“Kirishima what the actual fuck were you going through to be able to bench 315 in high school…”

“I was in situations.” Silence.

“—is that it or?”

“Yup. I’m legally bound to an NDA. Can’t say much else babe. Ready to start?” Your expression is a mix between ‘what the fuck’ and simply trying to shake the odd conversation.

“Yeah uhm. Go ahead I guess.” He grabs the excessively weighted bar and starts his reps. Up, down, up, down…up…up, down, up, down, down…

Wait, how many has he done already? You were too busy gawking at the sight before you. Tanned arms packed and loaded with muscles from regular training. Scars and faint freckles littering his biceps from hours in the field. A death-like grip on the barbell, veins practically on the verge of bursting with each upward push of the bar. His face contorted in concentration. Bottom lip slightly reddened from his teeth as he bit his lip with strain to lift the weight. Forehead sparkling in the gym lights, liquid evidence of his fortitude and strength. It left his white tank glued to him like a second skin. And that damn manbun.

“Lift.” You’re brought back from your thoughts at his call to end his set. Your hands wrap around the bar alongside his to raise and set it back in its place on the rack above his head. He lifts his back off of the cushion but stays seated, using the back of his hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead.

“Holy shit that was heavier than I remembered. Did I slip on a wrong weight?” The corners of your mouth lift up in a small smile as you round the bench to stand in front of him.

“Even so, you could handle it. You did real good Ei. Barely had to help you.”

A shy smile graces his face. “Ah please. I was just trying to make sure I didn’t die in front of you.” Reaching down, he grabs a small towel near his right foot and starts to dab away the sweat from his face.

It’s almost crazy how he can be so modest after having lifted the weight of a small refrigerator with his own bare hands. And he’s still got the nerve to be reserved about it.

“Yeah right. Try tellin’ that to someone who hasn’t seen you lift before.” A rough voice comes from behind you, lowkey scaring the shit out of you. You turn your head around and of course it’s none other than the walking ray of sunshine himself.

“You mind alerting people of your presence before you just pop up outta nowhere?” You say.

“Sounds like a personal problem. You should fix that.” Katsuki strides up to you both clearly worn from his workout. He gives you a blank look. You shake your head in dismissal and turn back to Kirishima.

“Y’know, he’s right though. You could probably bench a car easy.” Kirishima’s eyes crinkle at the sides as he laughs at your comment.

“Nah, no way! This was seriously challenging guys, trust.”

Katsuki butts in. He raises a brow, lips set in a straight line.

“Not even a Fiat?” You let out a choked snort, trying not to laugh at his confidence in Kiri’s manpower. Said man raises from his seat, standing to his feet in front of you both. Kirishima chooses to ignore his last question, greeting his long time friend by dabbing him up.

“Didn’t know you were gonna be in the gym today man.�� Katsuki shrugs nonchalantly, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his grey shorts.

“Had some free time. Thought I’d come out and brush up on endurance.” His eyes flick from Kirishima to you. “How long you two been in?”

You pull out your phone to check the time. Kirishima puts a muscular arm around your shoulder and dips his head down a bit to look at your screen. The time reads 4:24 PM. “Just a little over three hours. Why?” You both look back up at Katsuki, awaiting his response.

“No reason. New smoothie shop down the street just opened. Wanna try it before they close.”

“No reason,” my ass. This was his nonchalant was of saying “If you guys are all wrapped up here I’d love it if you’d make my day and join me for post workout drinks.”

Kirishima is the first to respond. His eyes are all aglow and his eyebrows raise in recognition at the mention of the new spot.

“Ah, the one on Delview right? Near the old antiques shop? We should totally go! People have been saying it’s pretty good.” Katsuki gives a short nod and looks at you.

“You in?” He folds his arms across his broad chest, raising a blonde brow.

Kirishima tightens his hold on you and looks down at you. The beefy arm draped over your shoulders now squeezing you into his side. His eyes light up even more than thought possible. “C’mon hun, I’m wrapped up here anyway and if you are too we should go!” His gaze drifts back up to land on the man in front of him. “Plus, it’s been a while since the three of us got time to hang together.”

And that’s how you three ended up in Katsuki’s black Jeep Wrangler with the windows down and Kiri on aux. Or at least he tried to be. After two overly cheery pop songs off his playlist played back to back, Katsuki demanded a change of tune or he’d “Chuck the fuckin’ phone out the window and run over it.” Kiri settled for Yeat.

Pulling up to the drive-thru, Katsuki holds his foot on the brake, keeping the car still while he surveys the menu.

“It’s a fuck ton of shit on this menu. You two got any ideas what you want or what?” His eyes are still glued to the menu, squinting while trying to read the small print under the even smaller print. Kirishima leans over as he tries to read over Katsuki’s shoulder, his elbow digging into the car’s center console box.

“Hmm. Honestly I’ll take anything with coconut in it. Or watermelon. Oh! Or those little spiky fruits with the white insides.”

“Lychee?” You suggest.

“Yeah, those! They’re so good hun. Have you ever tried o—”

“Will you two chucklefucks just pick already? We’re holding up the damn line!” The blonde’s voice booms in the car.

You let out a short snort. “Chuckle-whats?”

“I swear to god I’m gonna drag you out of this fucking car if you don’t quit,” he threatens through clenched teeth.

Kirishima thinks out loud, ignoring your banter. “Ehh actually I think I’ll go with watermelon.”

“You better make up your mind Red or you ain’t gettin shit.”

“He ain’t gotta do a muthafuckin’ thing.” The blonde whips his head around to glare at you where you’re seated in the backseat.

“The hell did you just—”

“Welcome to Smoothie King. How may I help you?” The butchered voice of an employee rings through the order speaker making you all go silent. Katsuki grumbles something under his breath at you before turning to face the speaker.

“Gimme a sec here.” His right hand taps impatiently on the steering wheel. A crackle sounds from the speaker before the employee chimes in again.

“Sure. Order when you’re ready.” Katsuki looks back to Kirishima with a vicious glint in his eye.

“Hurry the fuck up Red or I’m ordering for you.” Kirishima’s teeth pull at his bottom lip before making a decision.

“Right. Uhh, I’ll take a medium smoothie. Half coconut, half watermelon and ask if they can drizzle some lychee syrup on top.” The look Katsuki gives Kirishima is so comically hilarious it takes everything in you not to lose your shit. He just sits there and stares at him. The left corner of his mouth is turned up and his eyebrows pinch in the middle to show an expression of “are you fucking serious right now?”

The silence is so loud it’s deafening. And poor Kirishima doesn’t seem to get it. He adds on a forgotten “Please?” as if that’s what Katsuki was making that face for.

“All that bullshit just to get all three fuckin’ flavors in the same goddamn drink,” he grumbles before looking at you in the rear view mirror. “C’mon shit stain. Order.”

“Bitch— y’know what, never mind.” Choosing to ignore the rude ass name he spit, you tell him your order and sit back in your seat and wait. He sticks his head out the window and finally places your orders then pulls up to the first window.

Handing the cashier his card, he waits for the receipt to print up, taking back his card and pulling to the second window. The server brings out the drinks and hands them carefully to the onry blonde before he then passes them to you and Kirishima.

You both chirp out a brief thanks to the man before happily sipping your drinks. Left hand on the wheel, Katsuki makes a smooth turn out of the drive-thru before taking a sip of his drink held in his right hand. “You two shitheads better be thankful I’m generous.” You glare at the back of his head in disbelief.

“Generous my ass—”

“Of course man! Super nice of you to treat us today. Next time it’s on me.” Katsuki side eyes Kirishima, a little thrown from his comment.

“‘Next time’? Hell no. There’s not gonna be a next time. You two idiots would lose your heads if they weren’t attached to your shoulders.”

“Aww c’mon man don’t be like that. We gotta hang out more. Right hun?” He turns around in his seat to smile at you in the back.

You chuckle and nod, tone sarcastic. “Of course I’d love to see more of my best friends.” You hear Katsuki grunt from the driver seat.

“M’not your best friend.” Kirishima turns back in his seat to face front, brow raising as he speaks.

“You act like you haven’t known them since middle school dude. That sounds like best friends to me.” You snicker and tap Kiri’s shoulder to give him a hi-five, the slap resonating in the car.

His knuckles turn white as he grips onto the steering wheel at his wits ends. “I’m gonna kill you both.” You all made plans to meet up again later that week.

[sp0o0kylights]

Part One: Merry Crisis 

It’s also on A03 (this chapter will go up too but not for a bit bc I have stupid adult work to do) 

Five days after New Years and Steve Harrington was haunting Eddie’s head.

This time at least, it was consensual. 

Mostly. 

“I thought you said New Year's resolutions were a total waste of time and a conformist’s mmrrph--” Gareth cuts off as a ringed hand claps (gently) over his mouth, Eddie’s glare burning a hole in the side of his best friend’s head. 

“No one asked you to comment.” Eddie informs him darkly.  

“He’s got you there, Eds.” Jeff teases, seated on a bin in Gareth’s garage, friends occupying the couch across from him. “It is one of your yearly rants.” 

“New Years Resolutions are just a convenient way for normies to understand my quests.” Eddie sniffs, ignoring the fact that he’d been going on about this since he showed up, several hours ago.    

 He releases Gareth’s mouth, springing up to pace another circuit round the garage. “I refuse to repeat another year in this god-awful high school--and!” 

Spinning on his heels, Eddie flings a hand in the air, the exact same way he had when he auditioned for Sherlock Holmes in Hawkin High’s performance of Hounds of Baskerville. “It is my duty as Hellfire’s DM to figure out what the hell those freshmen are wrapped up in with Harrington!” 

“Rii-iiight.” Gareth remarks. “I’m sure your obsession with this has nothing to do with those, what did you call them?”

Grant covers a laugh with a cough as Gareth pretends to think before saying: “Harrington’s big ol’ puppy dog eyes?”

Eddie’s face goes red. “I told you, I’m not crushing on Steve!” 

“Bro.” Grant says, expression calling out Eddie’s lie better than words ever could. 

“The entire planet knows you have a crush on him, Eds.” Gareth adds, leveling his best friend with a knowing look. “Frankly I’m amazed Steve himself hasn’t figured it out.”

“Shut it!” Eddie hissed, face aflame. “This is about everything else!  What he’s hiding! Why the kids--”

“--worship him.” Jeff, Grant and Gareth all finish as one, their impromptu chorus deflating Eddie like a sad balloon.

“We know.” Grant says. “You think Harrington and the kids are wrapped up in some kind of crazy conspiracy that's eating them all alive and because you have a compulsive desire to solve every mystery put in front of you, you can’t leave it alone. This is starting to become something you should really like, work on man.” 

Eddie turns his glare on Grant. 

“You need to drop out of that AP psychology class.” He demands with another sniff. “It’s rotting your brain.”

“Uh huh.” Grant says, voice dripping in sarcasm. 

“You;’ll see.” Eddie mutters as he resumes his pacing. “You’ll all see when I finally figure it out. You’ll be all,” Eddie straightens, clutching his hands together and squeezing them against his chest, “Oh-my-gawd, Eddie, holy shit, you were so right, they were hiding a huge secret!” 

“Keep dreamin’ bud.” Jeff says flatly, prompting laughs from Gareth and Grant.

Eddie takes off a shoe and throws it at him. 

(Jeff swears it was worth it.) 

xXx

10 days after New Years and Steve Harrington was right there.

Right.

There.

It would be easy to walk across the parking lot, strike up a conversation. Hell, the kids' presence makes it even easier, Eddie knows all he has to do is talk about them before Steve drives them home. 

He just--has to do it. 

"You do know the first step is actually talking to him right?" Jeff teases, leaning against the school’s doorway.

Eddie startles, flushing scarlet. 

"Shut up!" He snaps, turning around to run his hand over his face.

 God why was this so hard!? 

He's talked to plenty of people. Hell, he's talked to Harrington before. Talking was the thing  Eddie arguably did best and suddenly he just fucking…couldn't!? 

"He's waving at you." Jeff observes. 

Eddie whips back around to face the parking lot--to find that Harrington wasn't even facing their direction.

Jeff chuckles. 

"Oh screw you!" Eddie shoves  his shoulder into Jeff’s, glowering. 

Jeff playfully nudges him back. "Just go talk to him man. He didn't bite at the party, and he left you that note, so he's clearly open to it." 

"I know.” Eddie grumbles, moving so he could lean against the opposite side of the doorway. 

“So what’s holding you back?” Jeff turns to look at him now, as Eddie tangles a finger into a few strands of his hair. “It’s not like you hesitate instead of jumping into something head first.” 

Eddie hides in his hair for a moment, unsure of how he wanted to handle this question.

Jeff knew he was gay. All the Corroded Coffin guy’s knew he was gay, after the first (and last) time he tried to buy product from a supplier that wasn’t Rick. 

(Eddie was smart, but he’d been young back then. Hadn’t caught on to the fact the weed he’d been sold was laced with who-knew-what. 

What he did know was that when he and the boys tried it out; Grant had given a very emotional speech about love and acceptance, Jeff wouldn’t stop hugging people, Gareth ended up crying over gender issues and Eddie had admitted he was flamingly gay. 

He never bought from another supplier again, even if he did technically owe the guy who’d brought him and his best friends closer together.) 

Being gay wasn’t exactly the issue.

It was being gay, and having a blatant crush on Steve--the guy who the Hellfire kids loved. The guy who had surprised Eddie by being decent and downright fun. 

The guy who kept insisting he and Buckley were “Platonic with a Capital P”and even with Robin climbing all over him like a lemur, he had in fact kept his hands and eyes to perfectly respectable places. 

Who was practically built to appeal to Eddie, between his stupid sexy smile and the weird mystery he was wrapped up in, the same one that caused his smiles to drop the second he knew no one was paying attention. 

Add in the fact he’d played D&D once before and it was like God had made Eddie’s perfect match.

Of course because Eddie’s relationship with a deity of any kind was agonistic at best, they’d made Steve not only the straightest man to ever rule a high school, but also dangled him in front of Eddie constantly. 

Like a treat he could never, ever have, but will always crave. 

“Oh he’s actually waving at you this time.” Jeff says, and despite the high chance of this being another joke, Eddie looks anyway. 

Sure enough there was Harrington, dumb little grin on his face, waving his hand.

Eddie managed to get his brain to function long enough to wave back. 

“Wow Eds, you actually waved at him. That’s a lot of progress for you.” Gareth chimes in, appearing in between his friends with a smirk. 

“We’re proud of you buddy.” Grant adds, standing behind Gareth. 

Eddie groans aloud. “I hate you all.” He mutters, trying to keep a smile on his face for Steve until the guy turns back to herald the children into the car.

“No you don’t.” Gareth sing-songs, to the snickers of Jeff and Grant. 

And no, he doesn't--but fuck if Eddie didn’t want to wring all their necks. 

xXx

January 13th, Eddie finally gets his first resolution breakthrough.

It came in the form of Sinclair’s girlfriend, oddly enough, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

“I’m not Lucas’s girlfriend.” The redhead spat, which Eddie thought was a hell of a lot of anger for someone who he had not been formally introduced to but had flung herself into his passenger seat anyway, with a declaration that he would drive her home. 

(He, of course, had been about to protest until Max reminded him with a glare that they were neighbors--which had the effect of making Steve look relieved, like Eddie was doing him some kind of massive favor.

A favor Eddie wanted.

“For totally normal non crush related reasons Gareth, god!”) 

Currently Max is staring out the window as Eddie drives home, arms crossed and in a full sulk.

Eddie recognizes it in her the same way he recognizes it in himself, and knows intimately that he has a chance to be to her, what Wayne was to him.

Someone who didn’t just see the problems he had, but acted on them. 

That began with a conversation. 

“So not that sitting in awkward silence isn’t totally fun, but uh, why am I driving you home instead of Harrington?” Eddie asks, watching Max out of the corners of his eyes. 

She doesn’t even flinch. “What, and miss the chance to ride in the drug mobile?” 

He expects the snappish response but has to give Max credit--she is absolutely the most vicious of Steve’s kids. 

“Ok fair,” He says, because getting angry back was what she wanted. Or at least, what Eddie wanted, back when he was in Max’s shoes. “But don’t all you kids like, worship King Steve? Thought you’d want your beloved babysitting to drive you home..” 

Max’s shoulders hunch immediately, her jaw clenching. “Don’t call him that.”

“Babysitter?” Eddie questions. 

“King Steve, you ass.” She bites back. “If you like him like Lucas and Dustin swear you do, then you wouldn’t be an dick.”  

Quieter, she mutters, “He hates that nickname.” 

“Hate to break it to you, but Steve gave himself that nickname.” Eddie says, if only to buy time while he swallows the fact that the kids have decided he and Steve aren't just cool with each other, but like each other.

Obviously not like-like, as in romantic like, because they weren't psychic, but--

'Focus, idiot! Max is still talking!' 

Max rolls her eyes, huffing angrily as she finally tears her gaze away from the window. “You don’t get it.” 

“I sure as shit don’t and won’t.” Eddie agrees easily, and has to look away to keep the laughter off his face at the confused look it nets him. “Not unless you want to clue me in.” 

She chews over that for a moment, before apparently coming to a decision. “You’re annoying.” 

“Oh come on Red, if you’re gonna insult me at least do it right. Annoying is boring.” Eddie fakes a yawn, and this time does laugh at Max’s outright offended face. 

Thankfully, the antics get him exactly what he wants. 

An answer. 

"Steve saw the real world and decided he wanted to be a better person. To grow up and leave all the stupid high school petty shit behind." Max says, and for a moment it's almost like she's speaking to someone else.

Likely the person she really is mad at, Eddie assumes. 

"Calling him King Steve just takes all that progress away, and for what? Cause you're jealous?" 

She's on a roll now. Eddie remains silent, knowing Max needs to get this out.

That this rant isn't aimed at him. 

"You're mad that things were easy for him? Because newsflash, they weren't. He put in the effort to be a good guy, could even," Max fakes a dramatic gasp, "--apologize!" 

An idea takes shape, both of the unsurprising source of the younger teens' hurt and frustration, and why she at least defends Harrington so hard.

Eddie may not know how exactly Max fits into "The Party" (or even who all is included within it) but it's clear she's just as close to Steve as the rest.

Maybe even a touch moreso, in a way that's eclipsed by Henderson alone. 

Max is still going. "Steve's a genuinely good person and he's earned the right to be acknowledged as one!" 

Her eyes are wet when she finishes and Max angrily swipes at them with her sleeve. 

Eddie knows better than to comment on it, but does take a moment to think her words over. 

"Have you seen it too?" He decides to ask. It's the part that sticks out to him, so it becomes the thread he decides to pull. 

Max blinks. "What?"

"The real world. Have you seen it too?"

"Yeah." Max admits, after a long moment of silence, chewing on her lower lip. "I did. And I wish I hadn't." 

"Sucks huh?"

"You don't know half of it."

"I might not know the exact parts you saw," Eddie agrees, as he pulls up in front of his trailer. "But I have seen plenty of other nasty bits and bobs." 

He puts his van in park. "Just because the monster changes shape doesn't make it any less of a danger, you know?" 

Max sits with that for a moment. Eddie sits with her, his music on even if he has the volume turned down low. 

Waits to see if she'll say more, or if this is all he's getting. 

There’s a slight hesitation--as if for a moment, Max considers opening up--but something in her balks and she opens the door instead. 

“Thanks for the ride.” She grumbles, quiet enough that he almost doesn’t hear, before slamming the door and walking fast to her trailer.

The lights are off, and the car he knows belongs to her mother isn’t in the driveway. 

It’s not unusual to be home alone at this hour. Not for Hawkins kids, and especially not for trailer park kids like them, but for the first time, Eddie finds himself wondering how often she’s alone. 

“Hey, Red!” He calls, as he makes his way out of the van. 

She turns to look at him, and Eddie realizes he must be getting a glimpse of what every adult used to see in him. Fury and discontent, all rolling over a sadness that’s bone deep and afraid to face daylight. 

“You ever wanna explain it to me, you’re welcome to come over.” He says, jerking his thumb over his shoulder at his own trailer. 

“Whatever.” Max says with an eye roll, before storming to her front door. 

Eddie waits for the lights to go on, before retreating back to his own house, feeling like he at least established something.

Even if it was just proof that he wasn’t going to blow up or brush her off like everyone else.

xXx  

January 13th's luck didn't end there.

A few hours after Eddie made sure Steve's attack chihuahua child made it home safe, a car pulls up in front of her trailer. 

Curious (and nosey as fuck) Eddie peers out the window to spot Harrington’s Beemer flick its lights off, owner crawling out and up to Max's front door with an arm full of takeout.

Steve stands there for a while, alternating between knocking and not-quite yelling, before finally putting the food down.

Eddie knows now that Steve's some kind of pseudo parent to these kids, that the intent he has towards them is a combination of brotherly and maternal. 

Can't help himself from the opportunity that arises when Harrington moves to peek into one of Max's trailer windows, though. 

"Damn Harrington," Eddie calls out, after quietly slipping onto his front porch. "Didn't know you were the kinda creep to stare into teenage girl's windows."

Steve spins, startled, and nearly goes down on the gravel while doing so. 

Eddie laughs--it's like watching Bambi on ice--but regrets it immediately when the younger man trots over to him. 

Puts his hands up and is about to defend himself out of sheer habit. 

"Is she okay?" Steve asks, trotting up the two steps so he can lower his voice. 

Eddie wiggles his raised hands in a “maybe” sort of gesture before lowering them. 

“She’s fine right now, but she’s definitely upset.” 

Steve hums, peering worriedly at the opposing trailer, takeout food sitting innocently by Max’s door. “

“She’s been upset for a while. I just…” He trails off, running his hand through his hair. “I don’t know what to do for her, you know? She’s not as easy to figure out as the others.”

Which isn’t the least bit surprising. At least, it isn’t to Eddie. 

While he can’t speak for their missing fourth member, the remaining three freshmen are the kind to wear their emotions on their sleeves, in their own ways. Mike and Dustin compete for loudest but even Lucas, the most likely to let things go, eventually explodes. 

All Harrington has to do to handle any of their issues is simply see that something is wrong, and then ask about it. 

The drive from the high school to the trailer park took less than fifteen minutes but in them, Eddie knew immediately that Max was far more like himself at heart. Angry at everything and everyone, using insults or humor to distract from her real problems. 

Eddie now was better than he was, the eleven year old kid who’d been dumped on his Uncle, extremely wary of adults and furious at the world at large. 

Like recognizes like though, even if he’s made progress. 

“I think the best thing you can do is keep being there for her.” Eddie admits quietly, because this is an area he can actually provide some insight for.  “That all that anger isn’t going to push you away. Just don’t be surprised if it takes her a while to understand you won’t abandon her like everybody else did.”

“Huh.” Steve says, and Eddie shouldn’t be surprised that Steve is taking him seriously. Not after the not-Christmas party, but he is. 

That’s part of the mystery of Steve Harrington, after all. 

The way Steve never quite reacts the way Eddie thinks he’s going to. 

“If she doesn’t take the food can you let me know?” Steve asks, and he sounds so sad about it that Eddie couldn’t possibly refuse, even if he’d wanted to. 

“Sure thing man.” He agrees. 

Harrington watches Max’s door for a moment longer before heaving himself off the porch with a sigh

“Oh,” He says, turning around partway to his car. “ We’re gonna have a movie night next Friday night. You should come.” 

‘Bing-fucking-go.’ 

“Well how could I say no to the King himself? Tell me the time and I’ll be there.” Eddie says, and then watches Steve’s face as he winces. 

Apparently, Red was right. 

Steve doesn’t rip his head off for the nickname though. Plows right on ahead, as if Eddie hadn’t called him it at all. 

"We were planning on making it just the adults--or at least, not the freshmen.” He nods towards Max’s trailer. 

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “Oh I’m sure they’re just delighted to be left out.” 

"You’d be surprised.” Steve says with a long-suffering look. “I've been informed I need more adult friends." 

Eddie can’t help but tease, though he softens his voice and grins to take the teeth out of it. "Band geek and a bunch of fourteen years olds not good enough for you?" 

"You’re forgetting my ex girlfriend." Steve adds, with his own self deprecating tone. 

“Well damn  Harrington, guess the town freak might actually be a step up for you!” Eddie says, loving that this version of Steve is willing to banter like this. 

“I dunno man, I think that nickname might be overhyped.” Steve says, and there’s that grin back on his face, the one he wore when he was stealing meaningless corporate trophies out of his father’s office. “I don’t think you’re that freaky at all.” 

He dips down in a movement that takes Eddie a moment to realize is him mimicking the curtsey he had given Eddie at the Christmas party, before getting in the Beemer. 

Then he’s gone, leaving Eddie trying to recover on the porch, wondering if the last part of that conversation actually happened or if he just wanted it so badly he dreamed the whole thing.

(When he looks back over to Max’s trailer, the takeout by the door is gone.) 

xXx 

20 days after New Years and Eddie didn’t know what he expected from a movie night at Steve’s-- but it wasn’t getting his ass kicked at beer pong. 

Of course, this may have been his fault. 

It started when Steve, three beers into a home recording of Animal House, made an off comment about Nancy Wheeler once putting all of Hawkin’s to shame at a party. 

(“Her aim has always been insane.” He'd added, as Nancy rolled her eyes and tried to hide her pleased grin behind a hand.  

Eddie had been a little surprised to see Steve hadn’t been kidding about Nancy coming--but also realized that Steve might have been serious when he’d joked about not really having a lot of friends. 

In Eddie's head, a miniature bat version of himself donned a detective's hat and cape, whipping out a notepad to dutifully write down; ‘Clue one: Steve has very few friends.’

“You, Nancy Wheeler, beat out four teams of dumb jocks…at beer pong?” Eddie asked, in total disbelief. 

“I did.” Nancy told him smugly. “And I could do it again.” 

“Really?” Eddie had said and it hadn’t been intended as a challenge, but it was taken as one.)

 Three games in, the beer having a long run out (they were actually playing “Vodka Shot Ball") and Eddie has to concur. 

Nancy Wheeler was in fact, god’s gift to throwing small orange balls into cups.

“How are you doing this!?” Eddie yells, throwing his hands in the air as Nancy sinks her last shot, Robin shrieking in victory behind her. 

Hand on her hip, Nancy gives him a lazy, smug smile. “I suppose,” She says, tilting her head, sounding for all the world like a cat who’s caught a canary, “--it would be my incredibly good aim.”

 Robin, who previously had been paired with Steve before insisting they switch (and who is more than a little drunk), shouts; “Take that Munson!” before grabbing Nancy’s wrists, pulling her into a dance. 

Laughing, Nancy goes with her, their celebration a stark contrast to the other half of the table where Steve is leaning heavily on his elbows. 

"Alright. Maybe, you do have some ungodly skills." Eddie admits, putting his hands on his head. “Forgive me for doubting you, oh Queen of beer pong.” 

"Oh, now you admit it?" Steve mutters playfully, head hanging low. "Couldn't have done it before I ran out of beer?"

"Hush Harrington, you enjoyed it." Eddie grins knocking a hip into his teammates

He too, is more than a touch drunk, despite having been on Nancy’s team for the prior two rounds. 

Vodka-Shot Ball, as it turns out, is enough to really mess a person up if you miss enough. 

"Did I?” Steve moans, before hiccupping.

(“Harrington you’re a jock, are you missing on purpose!?” Eddie had asked early in this game, when Steve’s shots had gone from fairly decent to fucking abysmal. 

“He’s two shots in, Eddie.” Robin had spoken for her soulmate, as she aimed a ball at a cup. “All those concussions don’t play nice with hard alcohol. Why do you think I switched sides?”

“I’ll remember this betrayal, Rob.” Steve grumbled in response. “See if I ever do your hair for you again.”

Batective Eddie promptly scribbled; ‘Clue Two, Steve has had a lot of concussions and can no longer handle a lot of hard liquor’ down on his notepad, puffing on his little old-timey pipe. ‘Also he does hair.’) 

“Now that Stubbornson over here has finally admitted defeat,” Steve says, “Can we please go lay down? We're way too drunk for another round.” 

“Speak for yourself, Lightweight. I’m fine.” Eddie tells him, walking towards the door to the kitchen.

Of course life cannot tolerate him being smooth and so Eddie walks dead-on into the closed glass door rather than the open one next to it. 

He staggers back and loses his balance, falling hard on his ass. 

“Shit!” Someone curses. 

“You okay Eddie?” Someone else asks.

“Yeah.” He moans, rubbing at his head. 

Wheeler appears next to him, shooing his hands away from his face so she could examine him. 

“You’re an idiot.” Nancy informs him calmly, hands expertly checking his head. Her touch is professional, but Eddie's surprised by it anyway, “But I think you’ll live.” 

Eddie squints up at her. “How come you’re not drunk?” He asks, and okay, yeah, he definitely hears the slur in his voice this time. 

"I only had three drinks across all three games." Nancy informs him sweetly. "None of them were vodka."

"I hate you." Eddie moans dramatically, before opting to lay down on the porch. 

“No you don’t.” Nancy says confidently, and then pats his head, before getting up from her crouch. “How are you doing Steve?”

“Kill me.” Comes Harrington's voice from across the patio, sounding very pathetic. 

Eddie wishes he could pet his head.  

“Denied!” Robin calls out. “Don’t even joke about that dingus, you got too close last summer as it was.”

(Batective Eddie, swaying a little with a beer bottle in his paw, tries to write that down.

He somewhat succeeds.) 

Nancy disappears for a moment and Eddie wills himself to sit up--or at the very least roll to where Harrington and Buckley are. 

"I'm going to drive myself and Robin home.”  Nancy announces as she reappears, alongside a hovering bottled water. 

Gratefully, he takes it.

With a tone that’s only this side of too-sweet, she asks; “Eddie? Would you like a ride?”

He considers it.

On one hand, that means he leaves his van here. So someone else has drive him to get it back in the morning (unless Harrington drives it to him and while Eddie finds himself weirdly unopposed to that idea, he doesn’t want to impose.

…Or inflict the current sad state of his van’s interior on Steve before he knows the guy better.) 

On the other hand, he’s clearly too drunk to drive, which means more time with a drunk Steve Harrington.

That’s gotta be good for figuring out clues, right? 

(In his head, Batective Eddie shoots him a thumbs up from where he lays, facedown on the floor.) 

 "If I get into a car I’m going to hurl." He announces. “So I’m gonna pass.” 

Nancy makes a very unlady like noise, and Eddie grins, finally managing to lurch up to his elbows. “Nancy Wheeler was that a snort!?” He teases gleefully, as she rolls her eyes. 

“Maybe.” She says, then holds out a hand. 

Eddie slaps his in it, but does his best not to pull on her. Instead he mostly uses her for balance as he works his way to his feet. 

“You guys get home safe okay?” Steve says, voice uncharacteristically serious as Robin helps him up from the pool chair he'd collapsed in. “Check in when you do.” 

That’s weird--Eddie half expects it to be some sort of inside joke or macho, alpha man type comment but instead both Robin and Nancy nod seriously. 

“We will.” Nancy promises. “Thank you for inviting me, Steve. Nice meeting you properly, Eddie.” 

She gifts him with a smile, an honest one, before guiding Robin out the door. 

Who screams; “Bye losers, love you!” as she exits.  

(Eddie thinks this might be another moment for Batective Eddie except he’s sort of getting a headache and kinda just wants to sleep rathe than envision his Sherlock Holmes styled bat-self.) 

They follow the ladies in, Eddie beelining for the first cough he sees. 

“You can sleep it off here.” Steve tells him, zombie-walking to his fridge. He pulls out a soda and chugs it as Eddie falls face first into couch cushions, taking a moment to let his stomach settle before adjusting to a better position. 

"Nah I'm just gonna close my eyes for a second." Eddie mumbles. “Be fine in a ‘lil bit, promise.” 

Does so, and enjoys the sweet, sweet darkness that envelops him. 

He jerks awake a moment later, blinking hard in the dark. A blanket has been draped over him, and his shoes kicked off, though judging from where they landed Eddie thinks he’s done that part himself.

A glance at his wristwatch reveals it's 1 AM, and Eddie goes to scrub his eyes with his hands.

Shit, he hadn't intended to stay this long. 

Harrington’s creepy Christmas shit’s all gone, replaced by walls so blank they look almost sterile. 

It creates a different, quieter vibe that's almost more spooky than the Santa-themed tomb Eddie had previous seen. The large windows throw shadows across the open space, like elongated fingers. It covers parts of the room in thick darkness, giving the appearance than anything could be hiding within them. 

There's blankets on the couch catty-corner to Eddie’s. They're rucked up, and the sound of running water abruptly clues Eddie in to where Steve might be. 

A golden glow erupts from the kitchen, then off again, before repeating the pattern.  

( Batective Eddie returns with a squeak, frantically waving a sign. 

It reads ‘Steve is afraid of flickering lights, remember!?’) 

The noise in the kitchen has gone eerily quiet. The bad kind, that makes the hairs on his neck stand up, and Eddie rolls off the couch and to his feet, making his way to the kitchen. 

Comes around the corner to see Steve frozen halfway to the stove, his head craned upward at the ceiling lights. 

Eddie knew that whatever had happened, a clear trigger for all those involved (the kids, Harrington, hell even Nancy Wheeler that one time in the library--) was electrical issues in lights. 

He clears his throat, the sound coming out like more of a growl. He coughs to clear it, then sidles closer. 

Steve has a stillness to his body that Eddie doesn’t clock until it’s too late, his hand already reaching out to tap the taller man’s shoulder. 

"Hey, uh Steve?"

Gets the shock of his life when Steve yanks his shoulder away, spinning back and around like he's been burned. 

Eddie gets a flash of wide brown eyes, glassy and wild, before a frying pan is swung at his head. 

"What the hell Harrington!" Eddie yelps, falling down on his ass and scrambling backwards, pan missing his head by inches. 

(Envisions in his head his Batective self throwing his notes in the air, taking flight with a startled “Fleeeee!”)

Harrington stands over him. Looks just like Wayne did that one time a car battery caught fire and exploded near the trailer. 

Like he was somewhere else, and prepared to do what he had to in order to get back. 

Chest heaving, Eddie put aside all thoughts of stupid bats and did what he did best.

Talked.

xXx

20 days after New Years, Steve almost takes Eddie's head off with a frying pan. 

Doesn't realize he's swung it like a weapon until he hears the surprised shout, his brain too steeped in adrenaline and old fears. 

Freezes, because the shout sounds like one of the kids but he doesn’t remember them being here...

"--eve?"

"What?" He asks, the ringing slowly easing as his tunnel vision does. 

He'd heard the growl, saw the lights flicker…

A gentle hand presses into his bicep, and he finds himself staring into Eddie Munson’s eyes. 

The guy has a sort of look on his face that says he's trying his best not to freak out, but then Steve blinks and it's gone. 

Replaced with something gentle, if cautious. 

"You wouldn't mind if I just," Eddie trails off as his ringed fingers slowly stroke down Steve's arm, before carefully taking hold of the pan’s handle. "--took this, aye love?"

It's the nickname that brings Steve back fully, and he loosens his grip on the pan, surrendering it to Munson. 

"Thank you Steve." He says, leaning to put the pan back on the stove, far out of Steve's current reach. 

Then his hands return to Steve's wrists, and he finds himself staring at them in confusion.

Not because he doesn't know what happened--he does.

It's  more that he's shocked Eddie is still willing to touch him after he nearly brained him. 

"There's egg on the floor." Steve says, because it's the easiest thought to have at the moment. 

Easier than apologizing. 

Definitely easier than explaining.

"We'll clean the egg up later." Eddie says firmly, and Steve's never heard him use that tone of voice before. Firm and unyielding, like he has all the answers.

It's the kind of voice Steve can surrender his anxiety to and he finds himself almost sinking into it. 

If Munson asked him to walk over a cliff just then, he would be more than a little tempted.

"Let's go sit down, just for a few minutes." Eddie tells him, a gentle tug on his wrists and Steve finds himself breathing out, his body shivering with the release of stress. 

He nods, unable to speak, and allows himself to be maneuvered out into his living room, then down on one of the loveseats. 

Eddie sits next to him, his thigh a line of grounding heat pressed against Steve's leg and he focuses on it to keep himself in the present. 

"You back with me?"

Steve works his throat, hyper aware of how dry it is. "Yeah." He says.

Then adds, "sorry."

"Don't apologize, man. I've done plenty of trip sitting in my day. I know a panic attack when I see one."

Steve vaguely wants to ask what the hell trip sitting is, but finds himself unconsciously leaning towards Eddie instead. 

Somehow he doesn't mind, even though Steve's practically squished up against him. Not that Eddie's ever been one to care about personal space, but Steve knows there's a difference between a teasing joke and whatever this is. 

Eddie's thumb begins to rub gentle, grounding circles into the meat of Steve's wrist. 

It gives his eyes something to track and gratefully Steve does, so he doesn't have to look Eddie in the face. 

Isn't sure he can clear the tears trying to wet his eyes in time to brush this off. 

Claim it's nothing serious.

"You wanna talk about it?" Eddie asks and somehow Steve didn't account for how direct the metalhead could be.

The tears strengthen and for a moment his vision blurs with them, before he sucks in a shuddering breath and forces himself back under control. 

'God Steven, toughen up.' His father's voice rings out in his head, the memory branded into Steve's very being. 'It's ridiculous how much you cry. Do you think anyone wants to put up with that?'

Steve had answered no then, tone wobbling. 

"I--" He starts, "--signed an NDA."

Which is not, at all, what he meant to say, but too late now. 

"The cops and I aren't exactly on speaking terms, your secrets are safe with me." Eddie says, entirely unphased. 

Which ghosts a smile over Steve’s face at least, even as he finds himself totally lost. 

How exactly is he supposed to explain this? 

The Upside Down, the Russians, hell even the way he's become hyper vigilant?

That certain words or references act like bullets, sending him to the floor in a spiral of burning panic? 

Nevermind his finely honed instinct to use anything as a weapon when startled.

Sensing his discomfort, Eddie hums quietly before making a suggestion. "How about you tell me a totally fake, very unreal  story?"

Steve croaks a laugh. 

"I'm a really bad story teller." He warns. 

"Practice makes perfect." Eddie tells him, leaning his shoulder into the taller man's. 

Grateful--and feeling more than a little pathetic--Steve finds himself seeking out the touch. 

"Okay." He agrees quietly, with a jerky nod of his head. "A--completely untrue, over exaggerated story. I can do that." 

So he does. 

xXx 

The story Steve tells in halting, fumbling bursts of words involves monsters, the supernatural, government secrets and coverups. 

The latter half of which doesn't even surprise Eddie--anyone with half a brain could see the sheer number of incidents that happened one after another was a cover up for something big-- but he can't help himself from trying to detangle reality from fiction. 

Monsters he gets. It's easier to pretend the bad guy is an evil creature than a real person, to distance yourself from it in such a way it feels fake. 

The supernaturally gifted girl is a little harder, but if you replace superpowers with some poor kid involved in some kind of shitty, abusive government program, then he can buy it. 

What Steve never explains, is what set him off. 

Eddie tells him so. 

"I told you I was a bad storyteller." Steve says in response, which isn’t an explanation but then, Eddie realizes he is pushing awful hard for a guy who he barely knows to bare his soul--and who, in turn, barely knows him.

Not really anyway.

Not outside of rumors and old wounds. 

"Is there anything that ever helps you feel safer?" 

"People." Steve says immediately. "People always help but ah, well." His smile is pained, self deprecating. "I can't exactly ask for sleepovers every night, can I?”

He shrugs. “So I just keep a few things close.' 

"A few things?"

"My nailbat."

"Is the nailbat a bat…with nails in it?" Eddie hedges, desperately attempting to keep a calm, straight face because what the fuck? 

But this was a no judging zone, and it wasn’t as if a bat with nails in it was the weirdest thing Eddie had ever encountered. Not since Uncle Wayne’s friends informed him they had at minimum, seventeen guns hidden in their own trailer across town. 

‘Things are happening at night, kid. Bad things. Don’t go too far into the woods looking for trouble.’

"Maybe." Steve admits. 

"How about instead of hugging a nail bat to sleep, if things get bad you come over. Wayne works the night shift and I have insomnia anyways." 

"Really?" 

Eddie can’t blame him for sounding surprised. 

"Yeah man. No skin off my nose, though you will be stuck hearing my beautiful sweetheart. She's a guitar sent from heaven. "

"I can handle that." He says, a smile ghosting across his face. 

Then; "Thanks Eddie."

Eddie presses his shoulder against Steve’s. "Anytime, big boy." 

(Crisis over, Batective Eddie returns, swooning. 

Eddie mentally squashes him under his own notes.) 

[palskippah]

Hi! You saw preg Bowuigi, but may I present to you… preg Mareach ✨

The thought won't leave my mind after I mindlessly drew Mario asking Luigi how is it to be pregnant and then it escalated from there 😔

So! Here's some headcanons (that you can find too in the drawings) for this:

Edit! I deleted the suggestive-y ideas to make it more all viewers-friendly, sorry!

-Mario and Luigi's mamma and uncle are twins, so they have this 'twin gene', and it just so happens that Mario got twins first try and Luigi didn’t.

-Mario has thoughts when seeing his bro expecting, he develops a serious case of baby fever that he refuses to tell anyone about. Like he catches himself thinking about him and Peach expecting and her acting in the overly attentive way that Bowser does, or thinking of a tiny blonde baby with a button nose and blue-sky eyes. He feels a bit guilty about these thoughts.

-Luigi eventually pries the information out of Mario and tries to convince him to talk to Peach about it, that she’d be understanding even if she doesn’t like the idea. Mario’s stubborn and just doesn’t and feels bad for wanting a baby too just because his bro is going to have one.

-To Mario’s surprise (and relief) it’s Peach who mentions the idea of having children (he feels a bit embarrassed that she easily used the exact words he scolded himself for: “I want a baby”), so they shyly entertain the idea.  And they decide they'd like to be parents in the future.

-When Magma (that's the Bowuigi baby's name!) grows and gets to the toddler stage, Mario finally decides that they could start trying.

-(Corny and I pulled this from Deadpool 2 but) He gives the 'green light' to Peach as a sort of anniversary gift and she's so happy she jumps in place and holds him to her chest and rambles about what to name the baby and how they'd look and what they'll do together and– Mario jokingly reminds her that first she's gotta put a baby in him for that to happen.

-Luigi is really excited when Mario and Peach tell him that they’re expecting. He hugs them both and says he can’t wait to finally be an uncle, and that they’ll be great parents.

-Luigi spoils his bro the same way Mario did with him when he was expecting Magma, like baking him treats and his favorite foods whenever they’re at their house and overall being a very good bro.

-Soon Peach arranges a room to make a nursery and plans how it’ll be.

-When they discover it's twins she makes arrangements again to adapt it for two babies, assigning a color to each baby’s things, because she thinks that Mario and Luigi having their signature colors is adorable.

-When they’re back from the doctor after discovering they’ll have twins, they’re both happily thinking about two children. Peach of snuggly wrapped little babies with round noses and brunette hair, and Mario for some reason thinks of two blonde toddlers with matching hats and blue overalls.

-Mario's belly looks big soon and Peach is over the moon because he's so round and handsome.

-He's so shaped.

-Due to almost all of the Mushroom Kingdom citizens being small Mario often loses sight of them, especially when talking to toads. They love to stand close and right in front of him, even if Mario tells them to stand at his side so he can see them. Mario's pretty sure not even the toads can see him over his belly and yet they don't listen.

-Mario lives at Peach's castle but he and Luigi still kinda often stay at their own little house at the outskirts of Toad Town. Luigi sometimes goes by himself or brings some of his children. They like to have some kind of peace apart from their families and the royalness of it all. (Thinking about the fact that Bowser went on a vacation by himself as Junior said once in a game sjdks)

-Peach is very excited for the babies and she always asks for permission to caress his belly and to hold it and to kiss it. She talks a lot to the babies too, even at times holding very long one-sided conversations with them while Mario listens in with an absolutely besotted smile.

-Many nights, when Mario's sprawled on his side with his arms in weird positions and snoring away and Peach's at his back holding him, she mumbles on and on sweet words to her children and her boyfriend, and holds Mario closely.

-Ever since they know he's expecting, Peach randomly suggests baby names to Mario, who shakes his head or actually explains why he doesn't like them. She suggests one day a couple of names just for funsies and to her surprise Mario loves them.

-Peach leaves their bed very early to focus on her royal duties all morning, while Mario's asleep almost until midday surrounded by an insane amount of red and pink pillows.

-Peach eats red power up mushrooms to be able to easily carry Mario around when he gets too tired, that way she doesn't get tired either.

-Late on Mario gets the 'pregnancy brain', he forgets things and sometimes does stupid stuff. Once at their house he dropped a fork, and since it never crossed his mind to ask for help or pick another one from the kitchen cabinet, he ended up stuck in a crouch when trying to reach it, yelling for Luigi to come help him up.

-Donkey Kong and Mario are mean besties, and DK often teases Mario and vice versa. Like DK purposefully drops something and asks in a faux nice voice for Mario to pick it up for him, then does the laugh™ as Mario stares at him unamused.

-DK used to (gently) push Mario to sit in soft furniture and laugh at him for getting stuck. Mario would sulk and cross his arms over his belly until the stupid monkey dignified himself to help him up. Until DK did it one day that Mario had been particularly tired about the pregnancy, and besides the usual reaction he also got misty-eyed and his lower lip wobbled. DK freaked out and couldn't figure out how to console him as Mario silently cried. Peach almost obliterated DK on the spot when she caught them.

-Since then DK isn't as mean with Mario until the babies are born weeks later. Also, he's a bit terrified of Peach now.

-Magma, who's still a toddler, often asks her uncle-mama when the babies are going to come out of his belly so she can meet them.

-They have twin girls! They're identical when they're babies and kids but when they grow older they have more noticiable differences (like height, same as Mario and Luigi and their mom and uncle)

-They’re Nettarina and Mariella. Sadly I don’t care how silly the names are, I like them and so does Mario aksjdksajd

-Mario has strong genes so their babies look a lot more like him than Peach (who’s glad, because she wanted to have two mini Marios!), although he hoped they’d look more like her.

-Mario is already fat and he gets even fatter with the pregnancy.

-The girls (and Magma too) speak fluent italian and english.

And that’s what I have so far! I know i missed some characters that I could have mentioned like Daisy or Toad and others, but maybe I’ll think of them too for another post c:

I hope you liked them, and if you have any other ideas or headcanons feel free to share them, I’d love to know!

[lime-bloods]

Homestuck's Gnosticism: The World / The Wheel

Everyone knows Homestuck is "a Gnostic story".

Wait, why does it feel like we've had this exact conversation before...?

AH. SO NICE OF YOU TO JOIN ME.

If you followed along with the first post in this series, you'll be familiar already with the Gnostic nature of Homestuck's central conflict between the spirit world and the flesh. And even if I say so myself, I think that post is pretty definitive; if you're ever unsure what a particular character's motivations or end goal are, the Conflict will tell you. But what's conspicuously absent from the post is any explanation of what actually happens in Homestuck. We've covered the why, but very little of the how.

I left us off on the "synonymous goals" that spring naturally from this conflict between flesh and spirit; attaining ultimate knowledge, and escaping the confines of Homestuck itself. Eagle-eyed readers probably spotted what was lying between the lines, there: the comic is called Homestuck because it's about being stuck in a house, so the ending is about escaping the house. But what does that really look like? And how did they get in that house in the first place?

Let's return very briefly to a quote I used in the previous post. "[Y]our ultimate self [...] unlike god tiers or bubble ghosts or whatever, it really IS immortal". Two assumptions naturally grow out of this fact. First, and probably most obvious: when John dies, he's not really gone. The idea of him still exists out there, somewhere, and in our minds, so he still exists. Second, though: if the idea of him is eternal, John obviously didn't start existing when he was born. So again we ask, where did he come from?

How did John get here? Where does he go? The answers to these questions are like the four sides of one hypercoin, in that Homestuck is a time loop... of a sort.

To begin to understand this, we need to reiterate what was basically "the point" of the first post: Homestuck operates on two distinct levels, a spiritual plane consisting purely of ideas, and a "literal" physical dimension. What happens on these two planes often mirrors each other, and because Homestuck itself is a work of fiction which operates in the realm of ideas, they can even intersect. But ultimately, what "literally" happens to the characters in Homestuck is not the same as the ideas the comic is expressing in its spiritual metanarrative.

The fact that a physical time loop is impossible is something Homestuck inherits from real-life physics: to put it simply, John being born can't be the physical John from the end of his timeline, because that John would be way too old to be a baby! But ideological time loops are not only something sanctioned by Paradox Space, but essential to its very being; they are where it gets its name, after all! To repeat another lynchpin quote from the comic: there is essentially nothing new in paradox space. Any idea that seems new necessarily must have just come from somewhere else.

"SbaHJ has the distinction of being the symbolic language of [Dave's] subconscious." (Homestuck: Book 3: Act 4, p. 282)

Frequently we see this expressed in the rooms representing characters' dreams, which, as discussed, sort of transcend the character's physical form and represent the broad ideas that characters are made of. Dave's dreams (pictured above) are covered with drawings of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, characters he seemingly invented as a child after being inspired by a drawing Terezi sent to him. But Terezi's drawing was based on Dave's own illustrations she saw later on in his timeline; so which of them truly "invented" Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff? Neither of them did; SBaHJ exists as pure subconscious ideological matter floating through Paradox Space, only sometimes being picked up by a character's conscious mind. Similarly, Gamzee tries to manipulate this subconscious realm when he uses his psychic powers to place a terrifying effigy of Jack Noir in John's dreams, as punishment for the destruction of the trolls' session. But as we know, Jack Noir only took that form because of the nightmares this doll caused! So again; neither John or Gamzee thought up the demonic clown "first". It existed in the realm of ideas before either of them ever had the chance to invent it.

These kinds of ideological loops are the bread-and-butter of jujus. We're told their origins are untraceable and that they can't be destroyed, but neither of these things is really true; these superstitions exist only to obfuscate the true rule that jujus "emerge spontaneoUsly from the void." Rather than be erased from existence, a juju can only be banished to that same void of nonexistence where disembodied ideas live, and then pulled back into the world of dreams by a prospective psychic.

With these rules established, now we can really delve into with appreciation the ideological time loop that underpins all of Homestuck. And like all good time loops, the best place to start is at the end.

ACT 7 (Are you tired of seeing it yet?)

Let's not insult anyone's intelligences here: you know and I know that Caliborn's little house juju looks like the Homestuck logo because it is Homestuck; when he wins it from Yaldabaoth, he takes control of it, and when he sucks the heroes inside, he's trapping them in the confines of his material world.

What's essential to keep in mind here, though, is that the power of a juju is the power of the idea itself. It's easiest for us to think of the word juju in Homestuck as a concrete noun, referring simply to a magical object. But the word's real-life origins, referring more abstractly to magic or enchantment, are still relevant in this fictional framework. Lil Cal isn't just "a juju", but is "FILLED WITH BAD JUJU." Magic in Homestuck has always really been about the idea that believing in something can make it real, and the purpose of all Homestuck's dealings with chucklevoodoos and jujus is to evoke the anthropological concept of the "fetish"; an item whose power comes from human beings ascribing supernatural qualities to it. Jujus are all part of the "game" the cherubs play, with all its rules and quirks; breaking an enchantment is like breaking a rule, in that it changes nothing about the real world: you've just infringed upon an idea. The juju isn't the object; the juju is the power, good or bad, ascribed to the object.

All of this is really just to say one thing: Caliborn's home juju can't trap the flesh versions of John and his friends; as we established, you can't send old John back in time to become young John. But what a juju can trap is something far more important; the ideas of John and his friends. This is why it doesn't matter if the heroes who travel back to the beginning of everything to beat Lord English while he's still a kid are the "main" timeline versions of those heroes from some point in the future, or if the Epilogues' version of events is truth and they're some "irrelevant" offshoots: because all of those characters are represented by the same idea, and that's what Caliborn puts in the box. No matter what timeline John is from, he's from Homestuck, to Homestuck he must return, and as such Homestuck is what he must be forced to escape. Refer again back to the previous post: Caliborn can't create or destroy, only take pure ideas and alchemise them down into a form he can control.

And that's why Act 7 so enigmatically features two different white home-doors (above), seemingly so interconnected yet effectually unrelated. Because Act 7 takes up the hefty role of concluding two storylines simultaneously: allowing the "real", flesh-world versions of John and his friends to escape Lord English's reality through one door, while also concluding Homestuck's metanarrative by setting the ideas of John and his friends free of their prison through another door.

So far, most of this is probably stuff you'd have either figured out on your own or at least heard from someone else already. And if we set aside such distractions as run-ins with radioactive imps and omnipotent dog-gods, the "whats" and "hows" of the heroes' story are probably the easier parts of Homestuck to figure out. What's more difficult to fully comprehend on a first pass is how Lord English himself fits into all of this.

If you've been following me for any stretch of time, you'll notice in my analysis of Homestuck I've returned to the topic of black holes frequently. I've lost track of how many versions I've published of what I call "Black Hole Theory". And I won't link to any of them here, because ultimately Black Hole Theory was a corkboard to which I could pin the evidence that would eventually, piece by piece, lead us to where we are right now:

If the home juju is a white "hole" leading out of the confines of Homestuck as a story, then black holes are the doors that lead back in. An early clue to this comes in the form of Calliope's stage in the heart of a spiral: these spirals are Calliope's visions of black holes, which she uses as "dark pocket[s]" from which "no information can escape" - a literal description of a black hole - and that stage is the very same one Caliborn stages his story on when he takes full control of Homestuck's narrative. The meaning here should be clear: Calliope creates black holes, and it's the center of these black holes where stories can take place.

But for all the evidence we need to suggest that Lord English's fall into a black hole leads to something more complex than just his destruction, we need not look further than conventional science:

In the quantum world [...] information cannot be created nor destroyed.

Lisa Zyga, on the conservation of quantum information.

This rule that "ideas" are truly immortal, and that any time an idea seems to be destroyed it must have merely been transported somewhere else, holds true even in the scientific world of black hole physics. This has been played with in MS Paint Adventures before; theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking's take on black holes was that some stuff could in fact escape a black hole, contrary to Calliope's assertions, in the form of Hawking radiation. But Hussie's own version of the story was always a lot more to the point: something gets sucked into the center of a black hole, it gets shot out somewhere else. In hypothetical physics this is called a white hole - no doubt you can see where this is going.

So Lord English's final moments in Homestuck see him not destroyed, or killed, or defeated in combat in any traditional way, but sucked right back into Homestuck. What exactly does that mean?

Homestuck, p. 8105

As long as we're talking the power of ideas and symbols, possibly the most blatant a symbol can get is in the form of a gesture; and the thumbs-down is possibly one of the most ancient gestures there is. Dave gets one, Tavros gets one, and, so they say, even the Roman gladiators got them. This precedent makes the meaning of the gesture clear: "you're going down." And it makes sense, too, that Hussie, the "good author", would signal the "evil author's" demise in such a way. But some might question the effectiveness of the power of gesture at such a pivotal point in the comic. Are we really to believe that English's defeat was, even in part, the result of another author merely willing him away like a tyrant doing away with an entertainer who has fallen out of favour? Or did the Hussie-character actually have some kind of plan to deal with his Hulk-like alter ego?

Of course he did.

...now Caliborn has hijacked the property of his experiential continuum which he has reason to believe is called "the narrative". Little does he know you recently made the shrewd decision to purchase(?) the ACT 6 ACT 6 SUPERCARTRIDGE EXPANSION PACK! Just plug it into any in-universe console port to unlock a variety of exciting new gameplay features and proceed through remaining canon unfettered, while Caliborn muddles through six new sub-sub-acts of infantile "subversive parody" targeting the very tale he inhabits, none the wiser!

To allow our heroes the chance escape their narrative prison, English isn't just to be trapped in their old cell; it's to be trapped within an infinitely-recursing cell, not just reliving one story over and over again but forced to live out infinitely many different stories. Not just a narrative loop; a narrative spiral. That's what being sucked into the black hole means for Lord English.

When Roxy - the Hero of Void whose very symbol is that of the black hole - banishes Caliborn-as-Cal into the void, he becomes one of the very wandering ideas with which English plays like dolls. "Instances of [Doc Scratch] have spawned in countless universes", and they have "never once failed to complete [their] objective": whether he wants to or not, Lord English will always be born again. In a new universe, perhaps, maybe even in a different shape, but his role always the same. Caliborn thinks that by filling the supercartridge with special stardust and corrupting the story, he's won, but looking at the bigger picture the truth is clear: he's only playing by somebody else's rules.

Just as Skaia uses lotus "seeds" to store items away for later use, and employs meteors as "Seeds" to send important elements back in time to set up the beginnings of new stories, so too are English's cue ball "seeds" only a means of transporting his essence from one place to the other; the black hole and the Rapture are, after all, only Skaia and the Reckoning sized up to a truly macrocosmic scale. The cue ball is able to be a font of endless knowledge because it is the "white hole" at the other end of the black hole! No information can escape a black hole, and therefore there is no information that escapes Scratch's attention -- he is limited only by his "pockets of void", which exist only to, in time, be filled, as more and more falls into these black holes like a multiversal game of billiards. Not only is this a transparent allusion to one of the most fundamental representations of the paradoxical time loop as a concept, but it is also the ultimate insult to injury: despite having lived an infinite number of lives, and being cursed to live out an infinite number more, Lord English cannot know what his fate will be until he literally falls into it. This is what forces him to lose, over and over again for eternity, while our heroes triumphantly escape Homestuck onto greener pastures.

[httpsryu]

kites : part 1

pairing: kim minji x fem! reader

summary: both you and minji both decide to run for class president in order to prove one another on who's the brightest but it also happens to be the exact time a certain someone decides that her silly heart beats for the other

category: enemies-to-lovers(ish?), high school au

genre: slow burn(?), fluff, and angst tiny amount or not

warnings: competitive and jealousy, kind of makes you feel single ;-;

a/n: DKDKSKSHF i can't believe the yeji writing got a good amount of attention!

p.2 of kites

the bell's tone rings all throughout the school which indicates that all students should've now gotten to their homerooms, prepared and ready to learn on another day of the week. 

everyone in the homeroom shuffles to their seats, patiently waiting for their teacher to arrive to the class. 

minji takes her gaze off the window beside her, resting her chin into the palm of her hand which was propped on top of her desk. facing towards the front of the classroom, she rolls her eyes upon seeing the back of you. 

watching you stack all your school materials neatly with the dumb bright grin of yours. 

kang y/n, otherwise known as another contender for the top rank of the school. 

for years and years, going back to even primary school, both you and minji concluded that the two of you would never be friends because of the academic rivalry between you too. even your birthdays were the same, although you didn’t want to admit she was older than you by two minutes. 

every subject was a tie between the two of you. while you aced in science and english, minji aced in math and social studies. 

everyone makes sure to not speak of minji’s name in front of you nor speak your name in front of her. it automatically and naturally became a rule in your grade. 

“i heard that today during social studies before the school day ends, each class is going to have a competition for who will run class president.” one of your best friends, rei leans over to your ear and whispers to you. 

from the girl’s breath, you let out a giggle and shove her back to her seat. 

hanni, minji’s seatmate and a friend of both you and hers confusedly follows the line of minji’s sight of vision. she wonders why minji is looking at you so intently. 

“bro, do you hate her or love her?” hanni asks, bursting the other girl’s train of thoughts. 

minji blinks, offended by the younger’s question. “what are you talking about..?” 

“hmm..” hanni thinks to herself, looking at the back of your head. “do you think y/n is dating her?” 

are you? 

wait-why does minji want to know so bad about whether or not you’re dating rei? 

“why would i care?” the older replies, trying to sound uninterested but deeply, a small part of her is curious and she somehow feels upset at the idea of you dating someone. 

the vietnamese playfully rolls her eyes, shrugging at minji’s response. 

“i just know someone who’s curious about her.”

before the other could ask of who it is, the door of the class abruptly opens with their first teacher walking in to start off the day. 

“good morning class!” 

and for the first time, minji couldn’t focus during the class period because she couldn’t stop wondering about the idea of you dating someone. 

her mind was filled with you and she hated it (no, she doesn’t). 

her eyes couldn’t stop staring at the pretty head of yours and she can’t help but feel some sort of envy…towards you or rei. 

“i heard that today before the day ends, each class is going to have a competition for who will run class president.” your best friend, wonyoung says while the both of you walk towards the usual lunch table where you and your friends would sit. “you should run! you’re like the perfect candidate!” 

with your lunch in your hand, your mouth lets out a side smile at the idea. “i’m not really a fan of taking things in charge.” 

“but you’ll get a vice president too.” wonyoung smirks, shrugging. “who knows? it could be a pretty girl.” 

opening your mouth to say something along the lines of ‘i’m not dating til i figure out what i want to do after high school’ but, you close your mouth and halt at the sight of someone’s not-annoying-to look-at face sitting at the table. 

“i hope you didn’t mind me inviting them to sit with us.” jiwon smiles apologetically at which you smiled in response before she looks back down at the book she’s cramming info from for the english quiz in her class. 

wonyoung suddenly remembers about a basketball meet. “oh yeah, some tables are being used for some sort of sports thing and unfortunately, our rei is stuck managing it.”

oh. 

you scan the entire rounded table, looking for a place to sit until hanni waves at you, motioning for you to come sit next to her. “y/n! come over here!” 

“don’t worry, i’ll manage without you.” the taller standing besides you pats your shoulder before sitting down next to jiwon. 

you smile back at the australian-vietnamese girl before realizing the open sit near her is the one between her and minji. 

minji looks away, choking on her water in the process and spilling out of her mouth. 

“bro, you’re going to get her spot all wet now!” hanni exclaims, handing napkins to the other to wipe. 

minji’s eyes widens, twisting the cap back on the water bottle that almost took her life a few seconds ago. “bro! you’re not asking me to wipe it, are you?” 

“i’m not asking you.” hanni’s eyes got smaller, deadpanning. “i’m ordering you to, bro.” 

“she can sit perfectly fine in a wet seat!” minji argues back while still grabbing the napkins from hanni. 

there’s no way she’ll ever be caught doing that, especially for you. 

you let out a huff, walking to where they both stay seated. gently placing your lunch on the table, you yank the napkins from minji’s hand and started wiping down the water off the empty spot. “i’ll just do it myself.” 

on the other hand, minji looks down at her fingertips that grazed against yours. she felt sone sort of electricity from the sudden contact, wondering it was because of the slight wind coming from the canteen’s windows. for a slight second, she feels bad about not wiping down the mess she made but then again, she doesn’t care. 

upon sitting down between what seems like a tight spot than usual, your shoulder lightly brushes against minji’s shoulder, prompting her to hold her arm in place upon the touch. 

there it was again. the slight electricity shock from earlier. 

“sorry..” you mumbled lowly, only for you and her to hear as you scoot towards closer to hanni. 

the other girl suddenly doesn’t want you close to hanni. she dislikes it when the other wraps an arm around you, laughing as she excitedly talks to you about today’s event supposedly during the last class. 

for the first time, minji’s lunch doesn’t taste as good anymore and she finds herself drinking water only in hopes of it spilling again for your attention to be off of hanni and the others. 

meanwhile, one of minji’s friends and an acquaintance of yours, haerin quietly chews on her pizza while noticing that the older isn’t constantly talking about how annoying you are or how you were being the teacher’s pet by raising your hand first for a question as she normally would.

the cat eyed female glues her eyes on the body language of the older, noticing the way she’s constantly trying to divide her attention off of you talking to hanni and danielle between the hand of the australian-vietnamese resting comfortably on your knee. and haerin could’ve sworn she saw minji’s eyes slightly squint at the physical touch but she could be wrong.

after lunch, you decided that before class, studying at the library will help out your grade in math. after all, you aren’t that terrible at math. it normally took you a while to grasp the concept. 

today? 

today is a different story because you’re stuck on a problem that’s taking you more than 5 times to do and you still haven’t gotten the answer. 

and although, the teacher walked through an example of this problem earlier back in the morning, it’s still doesn’t make complete sense to you. looking around the room for one of the tutors, a frown forms upon your lips once realizing that the tutors are probably out for for their lunch break. 

“do you need help?” a voice interrupts your movement from behind. 

whipping your head back at the familiar voice, you’re met with kim minji. 

’what did i ever do in my life for the universe to keep cursing me like this?’ 

the girl standing behind you blinks again, wondering why you still haven’t answered her. 

“it’s fine. i can solve it on my own.” you grumbled, turning back around and picking up your pen again to write in your workbook. 

minji huffs from behind you, feeling offended at the way you’re acting towards her. 

here she is, offering to HELP you and yet you refused her. 

“you’re not even starting the problem off correctly.” the girl scoffs, peering from where she stood while you start to hunch over to block the view of your work. 

with a blank face, you turn back to stare at her. “listen here kim, i don’t need your help. if you’ll excuse me, i need to get back to doing my work before class starts. so quit bothering me.” 

minji deeply inhales, trying to calm herself down from the attitude coming off from you. 

she can leave, yet, she doesn’t want to. 

“why won’t you just admit that i’m smarter than you?” minji asks, a smile tugging on her lips knowing what your reaction is going to be. 

is this girl for real? 

she watches as your face scowls, eyebrows furrowed as you open your mouth ready to explode off on her. and yet, she’s intrigued by how pretty you look even when you’re mad. 

“i’d like to say the same thing for you.” you stand out of your seat, trying to look initimidating but failing miserably once you realize that the girl you very much dislikes is taller than you. 

minji dryly laughs, putting a fake smile on afterwards as she leans closer to you. a bare few centimeters away from you and she swears that you two would kiss. but, she looks at you up and down while the feeling of giddyness is jumping in her stomach, which she figures is from the lack of appetite at lunch earlier today. 

“tell you what, y/n, how about we make a bet?” 

you roll your eyes, crossing your arms to hear what the taller has to say. (while trying to ignore the lack of space you two have) 

“whoever becomes class president is considered the brightest one.” 

you’d rather accept jungwon’s love confession than run up against minji.

however, knowing how much it’d feel seeing the girl’s face falter once ms. ahn announces you as the winner doesn’t sound bad at all. and on the plus side, maybe there will be a cute girl to be vice president after all. 

“deal.” you smirk in response. 

minji’s eyes gazes down at your lips for .5 seconds before widening her eyes and backing away. “i-um have to go now.” 

she brushes through her hair with her hand, rushing out the library while feeling her cheeks heat up. 

“…ok..?” you blankly says, shrugging as you sit back down in the seat you were in before.

minji pushes all her workbooks into her backpack, throwing her pencil bag in after before she stretches out the stiff muscles from sitting at her desk for too long of the late night cramming school. she can’t wait to go home and get into bed, especially when her stomach still feels weird from you. 

“i’m going to get going now.” minji bids goodbye to some of the other students who are still trying to get caught up with other subjects. 

she earns a chorus of ‘bye’s’ and ‘see you tomorrow’, prompting her to scoot her chair in under her desk and slinging her backpack on. while walking to the door, she passes by your desk and wondered why you left earlier than usual. 

‘it’s not like i care.’ she rolls her eyes at how careless you were for leaving behind some trash on your desk. 

like the good student she is, she sighs, picking up the trash and taking it with her to throw out on the way home. carefully opening the door to not disrupt the others, she’s relieved to know that she finished her schoolwork duties for the night and can just head straight for bed once getting home. 

clutching on her backpack’s straps, she rushes to leave the school until she stops at the sight of you sitting on the bench of the playground across from school where many children would play at, no matter how dark it was getting. 

minji observes the way your charming face looks ethereal under the street lights, she feels the way her chest get tight all of sudden when you reposition your sitting position hence causing your side profile to be seen. looking down at your hands, she sees a milk box in your left and a math book in your right. 

without realizing, a smile is tugged upon her lips at how hardworking you are. 

“excuse me, noona?” a couple of young boys who looks about the ages of 8-10 comes up to you, having you put your book aside and smiling sweetly at the children. 

why does minji feels like the whole entire pavement just got lit up from your smile? why does she like seeing your smile? 

“is there anything you guys need help with?” you ask the little boys cheerfully.

one of the boys point at the tree. "our kite got stuck up there and we need help getting it down. is there any way you can help us, noona?"

you follow where the child's finger is pointing at, seeing a white kite sitting up in the tree looking lonely. truth be told, you couldn't reach it and yet you don't want to bring the children down.

"of course!" you nod, getting off from your seat and straightening out your skirt in case an accident happens like flashing some students at school.

the girl watching from the school's entrance feels herself getting wary about you. she doesn't want you to fall and end up breaking something. even the sight of you tip-toeing makes her cringe from the thought of falling.

minji knows that you'll end up getting the kite for the children though. you never give up! at least, in her mind.

she braces herself to run and catch you, seeing the way you start climbing up to grab the kite. her clutch on the backpack's straps are tighter and she feels her throat closing up in nervousness.

but hearing the boys cheering as you grab their kite brings her mind back to why you helped in the first place. seeing the way your smile perfectly paints across your lips as you brush your hair through with your hand, while handing the boys their kite makes her stomach flutter.

way worse than before.

kim minji isn't stupid, she knows what this means.

for the first time, minji realizes that she has a crush on somebody. not just anyone, you.

asksksh, it's getting long so i'm writing a part 2 soon!