#But this is probably how it looks to others like Copperhead is so dangerous so those kids must be in danger???

[cxpperhead]

Off topic but when I'm writing those caring for a child prompts, this is the picture that's always at the back of my mind.

[mongoose-bite]

Reading list 2023

Crossposted from pillowfort.

Happy New Year! I read fewer books than usual this year, and didn't enjoy a lot of them. Hopefully next year brings happier reading. The books I liked the best were Dead Souls by Nicolai Gogol, which was a fascinating satire and Lovecraft Country by Matt Ruff, which was just so much fun from start to finish.

At the other end of the scale The Passenger by Cormac McCarthy was probably the most disappointing, given how well it started and how much I had been looking forward to reading it. It's a bit sad his final works are so dull and unfocused. I still intend to read more of his earlier works sometime. Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver actually made me kind of angry on Dickens's behalf. Whatever you think of the man, he prioritised his readers' enjoyment, and that's how he reached people and managed to effect real social change. Demon Copperhead was a grim slog.

Full list behind cut.

Orientalism – Edward Said

The Dark is Rising – Susan Cooper

Shirley – Charlotte Bronte

Robertson Crusoe – Daniel Defoe

Sons and Lovers – D H Lawrence

Spring Snow – Yukio Mishima

Demon Copperhead – Barbara Kingsolver

Silverview – John le Carre

The Passenger – Cormac McCarthy

The Martian Chronicles – Ray Bradbury

The Bounty Hunters – Elmore Leonard

The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida - Shehan Karunatilaka

The Dangers of Smoking in Bed - Mariana Enríquez

Whale – Cheon Myeong-kwan

Dead Souls – Nikolai Gogol

The Fifth Season – N. K. Jemisin

This is How You Lose the Time War - Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Southern Seas – Manuel Vaquez Montalban

Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller

The Man Who Spoke Snakish – Andrus Kivirahk

Lovecraft Country – Matt Ruff

Foe – J M Coetzee

All That I Am – Anna Funder

Women in Love – D H Lawrence

Piercing – Ryu Murakami

[stopthepittiefight]

Target dog is actually a bully breed!

In case anyone didnt know: the target mascot? Y'know the white dog with the target symbol around their eye? That dog is a bully breed. The dog is a Bull Terrier. The pitbulls originally came from the 19th century and was developed from breeding between the Old English Terrier and the Old English Bulldog. This breed was originally bred to hunt large animals and hold them. This was later outlawed and instead of hunting, they had thsir dogs fight against each other. But not just these dogs were used. There was also a time any breed of dog was used. More so the large dogs, but all else aside. Your family companion the golden retriever? Labrador? Great Dane? German Shepherd? And much more were used in dog fights. But those dogs aren't really looked at as "dangerous". Especially the Golden Retriever and the Labrador.

All else aside, the Staffordshire Bull Terrier is the top dog known as the "nanny dog". Because of their loyal, kind, caring, and patient personality they have been great for kids and for families. Theyve been used a lot back then as a nanny dog.

Despite the fact many hate on the bully breeds, some things these people don't tend to look close at is how these dogs have saved young children and their owners from danger.

One pitbull named Hurley saved a little boy from a Copperhead Snake (credit to TruDog dot com)

In 2020 a pitbull named Buddy stayed with a 3 year old boy who wandered and got lost in the woods. Buddy stayed by his side. A neighbor called saying they found the boy but the dog wouldn't let anyone near the boy. Buddy later was leading the police to the boy when they arrived.

In 2019 a pitbull named Zeus, who was 9 months old saved 10 year old Oriley from a Coral Snake. He was taken to the veterinarian and was given anti-venom but died hours later from his injuries.

In 2018, an 8 month old pitbull named Sasha saved her family and their 7 month old baby girl. If it wasn't for Sasha, things would have been worse or fatal.

All these pitties have saved their family. There is definitely more stories like these that will pop up and some that probably hasn't even been told.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Copperhead Road 1

Supernatural RPF AU Story 

Request from an annon reader: Will you write a prohibition 1920′s story with Richard Speight Jr and the supernatural cast?

Author’s comment: I hope you enjoy! I think I will be able to stretch this out into the multiple parts that you asked for :) Crediting the movie Fried Green Tomatoes for using a line in the movie that worked so well in this story.

Words: 3,724

Pairings: Richard Speight Jr x Reader

________

What am I thinking?

It was the only thought that could go through your mind as you stared across the churchyard at Richard. You knew loving him was a bad idea! Sneaking around behind your father’s back was probably even worse! You swallowed looking at your father, the pastor of the local church, who was in an animated conversation with a member of the church. 

This is really bad! 

You couldn’t help but nervously fan yourself. It was hot in Nashville for June! Hot sticky and with all of the internal panicking you were doing it seemed to be closing in on you! Swallowing, you nervously glanced across the yard again. This time Richard’s eyes were glued to you. He raised an eyebrow as you quickly looked away. 

“Hello, Y/n.” 

You quickly looked to your side seeing your sister in law, Danneel. 

“Danneel, hi. I didn’t think that you would be here.” 

She smiled, clearly ignoring your mother and father’s less than enthusiastic expressions. 

“It's a town social, Y/n. Everyone comes to these things. Can we talk alone?”

You nodded and quickly followed her. This time not looking to your parents for approval because you knew that you wouldn’t be getting it. Your eyes were focused on Danneel’s back. That familiar sense of sadness washed over you again. You loved Danneel. Adored was a better word but you didn’t see her much. 

What was the reason...booze. Prohibition was probably a better way to look at it. After prohibition started, you seemed to have lost touch with a good chunk of your family. Jensen had gotten involved in alcohol running and was, for lack of a better term, kicked out of the family. You were devastated when it happened! It didn’t matter how much you begged your father to reconsider; he wouldn’t. To him, alcohol was the pathway to all evil. The fact that his son was involved in it was unforgivable. Your father’s close-minded attitude was no shock to you but it didn’t make the pain disappear.

Jensen, however, didn’t seem to mind. He was making more money for his family than he ever was working his old job. The two of you would see each other from time to time. It was mostly when you would sneak off to your brother’s home to make sure that the police hadn’t hauled him off to jail. 

This is where Richard came in...It was no secret to everybody in town that Richard’s family was one of the biggest bootlegging families in town. How he hadn’t been arrested was still a mystery to you. The law seemed to be looking the other way whenever he was concerned. Was it the money that he brought in a donated for good causes? That was the best that you could come up with.  

He was the type of man that your mother would have a heart attack if you showed interest in. Your father would have probably had you committed. You didn’t care though...at least not when you were with Richard. When you were at home with your holier than thou family members it was a different story. You were questioning everything..especially when your father started going on and on about secrets. 

Your father would have probably hit the floor if he knew that you had met Richard at one of Jensen and Danneel’s parties. When you were with Richard, you didn’t feel like the stupid Mary Sue that your parents made you feel like. Richard seemed to “value” you in a way that no one else seemed to. 

Sneaking around for 5 months had been the most devious and draining experience of your life! You were not afraid to say that you were in love with Richard. What scared you was the implications of this little love affair. If you agreed to marry Richard, like he wanted, you would be subjected to a lifetime of worry. You would be a nervous wreck every time that Richard left the house. What if he turned up dead or arrested? Would you be able to handle that? Were you really that strong of a person? 

You didn’t think so. That is what led to you breaking things off with Richard. It had been two weeks and you still felt like you couldn’t breathe. It didn’t help that he was sending you multiple bouquets of flowers a day. You were running out of excuses and lies to tell your parents. Your father rolled his eyes and would go back to reading his bible. While your mother would give you a knowing look that made your stomach churn. 

“Whoever the man is, he sure has some feelings for you. Are you sure that you don’t have any clue idea who it is?”

You would shake your head and quickly attempt to change the subject. 

“I think that you know why I am here.” 

Danneel’s  voice tore you from your thoughts. You quickly met your sister in law’s sweet smile. She was such a pretty woman, inside and out. It was a shame that your parents were so set in their ways that they wouldn't give her a chance. In the past few months, you finally were able to reconnect with her. 

“Richard sent you.” 

You muttered. Danneel nodded. 

“He doesn’t understand what exactly happened between the two of you. He is pathetically in love with you and I know that you are in love with him. If this is about your parents….” 

You held a hand up. 

“Danneel, you know mine and Jensen’s parents. If my father found out that I was dating Richard....well...you know him!”

Danneel smiled. 

“Maybe it is time that you start living your own life, like your brother? Y/n, over the past few months, I have seen a side of you that I never have before. You seem to be free and happy.” 

You pressed your lips together. 

“What if Richard gets tired of me? You know that if I chose to be with him, my father would have nothing to do with me ...”

Danneel gave you a warm motherly smile as she reached out and squeezed your hand. 

“I think that you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. I don’t think Richard would get tired of you. That should be the farthest worry from your mind.” 

You sighed. 

“What if he gets arrested or killed? Danneel, I am no fool. I know that you have the same worry about Jensen. I see it in your eyes every time he goes for a run.”

That serious expression that you had seen on her face so many times returned. She was silent for a moment before taking a reassuring breath.

“I don’t worry as much since he has started working for Richard. Y/n, this isn’t about me. This is about you. If you choose Richard, you know that Jensen and I would be there for you too. Your brother won’t let anything happen to you. Think about it okay?”

You nodded. 

“Okay. I have to get back.” 

You wrapped your arms around Danneel. Having no idea how long it would be before you saw here again; you wanted to savor the moment. Danneel stroked her hand over your face. 

“Stay sweet.” 

Danneel turned to walk in the opposite direction. She stopped and turned back to you with an amused smile.

“You’re lucky that I was the one to come talk to you. Richard wanted to send Matt and Rob.” 

The two of you exchanged an amused smirk. If Richard had sent his two right-hand men it would have been funny and awkward. Rob got so nervous around women that he would start stuttering then Matt would be trying to take care of him. You rolled your eyes at the thought. 

“See you soon.” 

(1 ½  hours later) 

Richard stood in his mother’s kitchen looking out at the yard. He had been in a sour mood since he had seen you earlier. For the past two weeks, he had been angrier than ever before. It didn’t matter that Jensen told him that he would send Danneel to talk to you. What was going to happen if Danneel didn’t get through? If she didn’t, apparently no one would. 

I sure as hell am not getting anywhere 

Richard thought coldly. He was still trying to figure out just what happened between the two of you. Everything was fine...perfect was more like it! You were the first woman that he really had any interest or time for. Between working and dealing with keeping the police off of his ass, Richard didn’t have the time to fool with any of the gossipy women in the town. You were different. To Richard, you were the forbidden fruit that he wasn’t supposed to have. A preacher’s daughter wasn’t supposed to fall in love with someone like him...but you did.

That was what stumped Richard the most. You seemed to be totally in love with him. In the course of five months, you had seemed to throw every one of your families “values” out the window to sneak and see him. 

“You need to let that girl go.” 

Richard turned around to look at his mother. She sat with a book open in front of her. Richard sighed. 

“It isn’t that easy, mama.” 

His mother smiled softly. 

“I know that you love her. I am not that insensitive, son. You’re a very smart man. I think you know that her father will raise holy hell if he finds out that his daughter is dating you. Our family doesn’t have that much regard in their social circles.” 

Richard rolled his eyes and sat down across from his mother. Normally, he wouldn’t talk like this in front of his mother but today was different. 

“Her father can kiss my ass.” 

His mother shot him that look of parental contempt. 

“Richard, you need to stop. Her father is a man of god. No matter his feelings on us or if he's two-faced as hell, he is still Y/n’s father. What if it was your daughter?”

Richard snorted. 

“I don’t think that we have to worry about that happening do we?”

“It's a fair question.”

Richard stared at his mother quietly. If she was anyone but his mother….he would have given her an earful. 

“If she was my daughter, I would want her to be happy. I can take care of her. She wouldn’t want for anything. Fine mama, you have a point! I know being with us would be dangerous but  damn it I am in love with her.” 

Before his mother could respond Jensen walked into the kitchen with Rob behind him. Richard almost jumped out of his chair. 

“Did Danneel talk to Y/n?”

Jensen held a hand up. 

“Have a drink or something! Yes, she talked to her. Y/n is in love with you but she’s worried about the lifestyle.” 

Richard frowned. 

“What’s your opinion?” 

Jensen shrugged. 

“I’m not worried about the lifestyle. We are doing just fine. Y/n still gives a damn about what our folks think too. She needs to stop worrying about what people think. She always does the right thing. Y/n takes care of all of those kids at the church school. She’s gonna take care of mama and dad when they get sick. That is just Y/n. You had to go falling in love with the nicest girl on the planet. Richard, the nicest girl on the planet is still a kid in a lot of ways...but...you would be good to her. I wouldn’t have to worry about you mistreating her. A lot of these bastards in this town that have their eyes on her...I don’t want them to even think about touching her. You want my opinion, go to my parents and sweep her off her feet before some other fool does. Save us both the heartache and worry.” 

Richard thought about Jensen’s comment for a minute. 

“And get myself shot?” 

Jensen chuckled. 

“My dad doesn’t know how to work a weapon. We both know that. You should do something.” 

(Later that night) 

You lay in bed looking at the ceiling. After returning home, you quickly excused yourself upstairs. Claiming that you weren’t feeling well seemed like the best idea. Your mother assumed that it was just the heat getting to you and agreed that turning in would be in your best interest. 

The sound of something lightly hitting your window caught your attention. You lay until the second and third tap hit your window. As quietly as possible you opened the window to see Richard standing looking up to you. 

You quickly looked over your shoulder as if you were checking to make sure your parents were asleep. It was 11. You knew that they were sleeping hard at this point. Looking over your shoulder was to make yourself feel better. 

Turning your attention back to Richard, you took a breath. 

“What are you doing here?”

You hissed quietly. Richard raised an eyebrow. 

“I need to talk to you about apparently this is the only way to do it!” 

You knew that he was angry. He had every right to be in too. The break up was so quick that you didn’t give him a chance to ask questions! 

Opening our window a little wider, you motioned him forward. 

“They are asleep. If you can keep your voice down come in here.” 

Richard rolled his eyes. This had to be the most unorthodox childish thing that he had done in some time! 

The things I would do for this girl…

Richard thought as he hoisted himself into the window. You stood looking at him with trembling hands. He fought the urge to say something sassy.

“Hi.”

You squeaked. Richard put a hand over his face before glancing out the window. He didn’t like the height difference from your window to the ground. 

“Hi? Hi? After all of this crap the past two weeks...all I get is a hi? Darlin, I am getting awful old to be climbing in windows for only a hi.”

You didn’t smile. In fact, you didn’t seem to register his words at all. Richard was no fool. You were a nervous wreck! The expression on your face was a mirror to your soul.

“Y/n, I’ve missed you. You looked awful pretty today.”

You smiled. God, you missed this man! It was taking all that you had not to run to him. 

“You didn’t come all the way over here to tell me that I looked pretty. I talked to Danneel.” 

Richard smiled. 

“And?”

You threw your hands up.

“What do you want me to say, Rich?” 

Richard's frown intensified. 

“I want you to tell me that you want me as much as I want you. Y/n, I know what you are worried about and nothing is going to happen to me or you. I think that I of all people know how to keep someone safe. I want to marry you. I don’t give a damn what your parents have to say either. If we have to elope, that's fine with me too.” 

Eloping? Wow, that would be the way to push your parents over the edge! The rebellious daughter that had always wanted to come out was jumping with glee. The “good girl”,  however, was less than amused. 

Richard smiled before reaching out and pressing a kiss to your lips. You stood motionless for a moment before wrapping your arms around his neck. The two of you stood in silence just enjoying the physical contact.

“You don’t have to give me an answer right now. Think about it for the next day or so, if the answer is yes...you know where to find me. Just know that if you say yes...I’ll make you very happy.” 

Richard gave you one more kiss before looking at the window. 

“Well, time to get out of here. Hope to see you soon sugar.”

________

[vanderlindeboyz]

Copperhead, a RDR2 fic

Hey everyone! I’ve been working on a little something for a while now. It’s a story about a bounty hunter who gets kidnapped by the gang, and her and Arthur eventually develop feelings for each other. This is just a short bit of the beginning. Let me know what you think!

“Tom, I’m gonna tell you again, I think this is a terrible idea.”

Maggie adjusted the nun’s habit, trying to keep the itchy collar from irritating her further. When she first got into bounty hunting, she would have never believed the amount of drama and costume that went into the job. In her mind, it was find bad men, incapacitate them, bring them in. Working alone, that’s how it usually went for her, with just a touch of acting here and there. Thomas Mayfield brought a new level of complication to the job every time she rode with him. Sweating to death in the soupy summer heat of Scarlet Meadows in a nun’s get-up, she swore to herself she wouldn’t work with him ever again.

“It’s gonna be fine. You want me to go over it again?” he asked, fidgeting with her costume for the thousandth time. “Flash, pause, flash is ‘Go get him.’ Three quick flashes is ‘Danger, run, do not act.’”

“Wait for your signal, run out into the road, lure Morgan off his horse, knock him over the head. Pretty simple, not sure why I have to dress like a nun,” Maggie grumbled, swatting Tom’s hands away.

Tom stepped back, feigning insult. “My dear Magdalena, it’s all part of the show! No one would suspect anything untoward about nun, definitely not one as pretty as yourself,” he added, a stupid smile spreading across his face. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from punching him.

“I’m sweating buckets in this heat. Doubt I’m very pretty at the moment.” The look of misery on her face could have killed a man, but Tom just laughed at her. Again a strong urge to throttle him came over her.

“It will all be over soon, and tomorrow we’ll be in a saloon far from Lemoyne drinking ourselves blind,” he assured her, grinning. “Now, I’m going to head up that hill and keep a look out.” He gestured to a copse of maple trees not too far off across the road. “Try to look less like a copperhead and more like… well, a defenseless nun,” he said, winking and grinning at her as he grabbed the reins of their horses and led them away.

“Think of the money, think of the money,” she chanted under her breath. Her hand dropped to her hip, brushing against the outline of a deringer tucked into her pocket. If she had any luck at all she wouldn’t need to fire it. Morgan, known to the law as a violent and dangerous man, was something of a do-gooder among regular folk. Here she was betting her life on that being true.

The Pinkertons wanted him alive for the pleasure of hanging him themselves, she supposed. For five thousand dollars, she’d dress him in a velvet frock and have him dancing to the sheriff’s office. That money would be life changing, and so she let herself imagine the weight of it in her hands. Well, half the weight of it, if she let Tom live after this. She took a seat behind a boulder and waited.

Hours slipped by, nothing but her canteen and a pack of crackers to get her through. The heat was exhausting, and she felt her eyelids get heavy. Maybe that’s why she misread Tom’s signal, just a glare of sunlight off his compass. Excited and a little bit panicked, she stood, brushing off her costume, stumbling awkwardly into the road. She heard hoofbeats coming fast toward her.

“Help, mister! Please! I need help!” she cried, her voice cracking more than she would like, but it probably made the act a little more believable.

A man wearing a white hat further down the road slowed his horse, and she was sure it had worked. She started running towards him, waving her arms frantically. “Please stop! I’m stranded out here!”

Then it hit her. The signal had been three rapid flashes. It wasn’t Morgan riding down the road to her.

It was Micah Bell.

[rosesisupposes]

Destined, part 22

aka The Missing Prints

Character Tags: Virgil/Anixety ; Patton/Creativity ; Patton/Morality ; Logan/Logic ; Remy/Sleep ; Dante/Deceit

Chapter Pairings: Prinxiety, Logicality, mention of Anxceit

Chapter Warnings: Graphic description of violence, Visions of Major Character Death, Swearing

Specific content warning note: Graphic descriptions of violence and depicted MCD from "The world twists upon itself..." to "Hands grabbed him and shook him..."

Reader Tags: @residentanchor @royally-anxious @bewarethegrammarpolice   @nightmarebeforevirgil​ @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby  @sparkly-rainbow-salt

Summary: After centuries of acting as an oracle to heroes, quest-seekers, and villains alike, Virgil just wants to live as a normal, modern human. For someone who can see infinite probabilities, you’d think he’d know better.

<<Chapter 21 | Masterlist | Chapter 23>>

read on ao3

Virgil was used to being nervous. Kind of par for the course, when you’ve spent thousands of years watching single decisions transform the course of lives and centuries. That nervousness was the kind that paralyzed him, sent him into weeks- or years-long stupors of contemplating the butterfly effects of human life. He was also getting happily used to this new type of nervousness that spawned in Roman’s presence, this fluttery feeling that made him want to babble out all his feelings, float away in champagne bubbles, or just run into the sunset with Roman’s hand in his.

Roman hadn’t responded to any of his texts since last night, including the “Let me know when you’re home safe” text. He wasn’t sure which type of nervous he should be feeling, but he was probably going to err on the side of overwhelming terror.

He went to How You Brewin’ as normal, but couldn’t suppress his jitters.

“Remy, is it a bad sign that Roman isn’t texting me back?”

“Girl, chill. You just started dating, don’t even worry about it.”

Fat chance of that, Virgil thought to himself. But Remy hadn’t been caught up in the drama of the past few days. He wasn’t on edge, and had no reason to be.

Virgil tried not to ruminate too much through the morning rush. Any moment now, Roman would blow in, all red and white and glamorous smile, and he’d ask for something ridiculous, like a jumbo latte with 13 pumps of vanilla syrup.

Any moment now.

Any moment.

The morning crowds left, as did Remy. Logan came in as normal, and lingered in the bakery, waiting for Patton to emerge from the back. When the baker did so, Virgil could have sworn the sun had risen again right there across the bakery counter, a solar flare of smiles reunited. Logan’s lost glasses were replaced by seldom-used contacts which only served to make it easier to see just how delighted he was to see Patton again.

Virgil, meanwhile, was checking his phone obsessively.

Okay, let’s assess the situation. I’ve sent a lot of texts. And he hasn’t responded once. So what should I do now??

I should send just one more text anndddd sent.

Nostradamus, what am I DOING?

Okay, he clearly could not handle this on his own. It was time to bring in backup. He checked quickly for customers then scuttled over to the bakery. Logan and Patton looked up at him from where they’d been holding hands as Logan leaned on the counter. Something in his face clearly told them both that this was important enough to warrant the interruption. Logan steered Virgil to an easy chair while Patton brought him an apple turnover, still warm. They both sat as close together as possible on a small couch next to Virgil’s chair and waited expectantly for him to explain.

“It’s Roman,” he blurted out. “He’s not responding. Normally I would think that you know, we just spent a whole day together and he needs a break from me but I can’t shake the feeling that something is very, very wrong. And… it might be my fault.”

Patton leaned across Logan to pat Virgil’s knee. “Kiddo, I’m sure it’s not your fault - what could you have possibly done to cause him pain?”

“It’s not what I could have done, but what someone else could have done because of how I got him involved…” Virgil put his head in his hands. This was no good. He was going to have to explain everything for this to make any sense. “I asked you both for advice before, and you helped me make the right choice. At least, I think it was the right choice. And I don’t know who else to trust. Plus… you’ve both already lived through the effects.” His eyes flicked sadly to the bruise on Logan’s temple. Someone had clearly helped cover it with makeup - Virgil suspected it had been Talyn, but even their skill wasn’t quite enough to hide the swelling.

He swallowed nervously.  “I’m about to tell you both something that is going to sound incredibly weird and possibly delusional, but I swear it is all true.” Logan looked cautiously skeptical already, but Patton wasn’t showing any emotion except calm acceptance.

Virgil took a deep breath and said, “I am not human. I am an immortal being called a Sage. I can touch people’s hands and see the possible paths their life will take. As part of that power, I am obligated not to share specific details, but give only hints towards that person’s pivotal choice through riddles- the way I’ve been taught since I came into being at the Oracle of Delphi approximately 3400 years ago.”

Virgil stopped and looked up at his friends. Both were staring with wide eyes, Patton’s mouth hanging open. Neither seemed able to form a verbal response just yet, so Virgil plowed forward.

“Just over 500 years ago, I read the destiny of a sorcerer who wanted to rule the world and was willing to destroy anything or anyone who got in his way. Luckily, back then, he was defeated. Six days ago, however, I ran into him here, not too far from my apartment, and saw that he was back to try again. This man, Dante, was your kidnapper. He wanted your research to find people like me, magical beings who are still left in the world. That’s what those genetic anomalies were, Lo. They were me, and him, and all the other remaining magic folk left in the world. I thought at the lab that Roman had killed Dante in his shape-shifted snake form… but now, I’m not so sure. He’s cheated death so many times, and he will blame us - well, blame me - for being the common thread in his defeats. And I… I am so nervous that he’s gone after Roman for revenge. Or maybe just as bait. But even if it is a trap, it will work, because I cannot let anything happen to Roman, not if there is anything I can do to stop it. But I don’t know what to do.”

He stopped talking and forced himself to breathe. His heart was pounding and he felt slightly delirious.

After several minutes of stunned silence in which Virgil imagined he could practically hear the bullshit alarms going off in his listeners’ minds, Logan recovered first. “Well. That is quite a lot of… new... information. Thank you for clarifying that my attacker - Dante, you said his name was? - actually did turn into a snake. I thought I’d seen a snake in the lab but was worried it was just the concussion speaking.”

“I also saw that, I thought I’d taken a blow to the copperhead ,” Patton added. The pun didn’t have quite the baker’s normal level of delight, but Virgil appreciated his attempt at lightening the mood. From the twitch at the side of his mouth, Virgil could tell that Logan did too.

Logan steered back to the matter at hand. “So, let me get this straight-”

“Good luck with that,” Virgil muttered.

“You can see possible futures. And the string of events that lead to them. When you asked us for advice before, that’s what it was about? Whether or not to share what you knew.”

“I already had seen Dante’s futures, and Roman was included in them,” Virgil said, nodding.  “I was trying to decide if I should offer to look through all of Roman’s futures too, try to give him as much preparation as possible, but was worried about how once you know, you’re locked in. It makes choices a little less free because of the very fact of knowing the nature of the future you could be working towards. The question of free choice versus determinism becomes a lot less hypothetical when you see the future the way I do. I don’t know that I thanked you enough. You both helped a lot - I was so worried about Roman’s ability to make free choices in the future that I lost sight of the freedom of choice I was preventing him from having in that moment.”

Logan chewed on this information. “Your… ability, this, uh, magic .” He shook his head as if to clear it. “I can’t believe I’ve spent my whole life researching the natural world and am just suddenly finding out ‘oh hey, magic exists and also your wingman is an immortal magic being.’ But, well, we can discuss this more later. Can you see where Roman is now? Or Dante, who is a sorcerer , you said?”

Virgil shook his head, shame-faced. “I wish I could see him. It only works if I have direct contact, both hands on their skin. And yes, he’s a sorcerer or wizard. One of those, I’m not positive which. A human with the ability to do magic without a wand.”

“Well, if you can’t see Roman or Evil Snakey Man,” Patton offered, “why don’t you try looking for yourself? If there’s a possibility that Roman is in danger and you rescue him, you’d be able to see that in your own future, right?”

Virgil was stunned. The idea had never even occurred to him. “I… that’s… I don’t even know if that’s possible . It’s definitely not allowed by the Sage’s Law, which are the rules that we have sworn to follow.”

“Patton’s right,” Logan said, an approving hand on the baker’s knee. “It seems the only logical option - seek the information that is available to you before you make a decision. What would be the consequences if such an act of seeking indeed breaks this ‘Law’ but you are able to do so?”

Virgil could feel his breath coming faster, his heart rate increasing. Outright breaking the Law? The one constant that he’d kept as a guide for over three millennia? “My brethren would punish me, somehow. I don’t know what they’d do. But,” he admitted, “it would likely take them a while to get to it. Their sense of time is a little off.”

“If Roman is really in danger, are you willing to risk it?” Patton asked softly.

Virgil looked straight into Patton’s blue-grey eyes and saw nothing but understanding and affection. His jitters were nowhere near gone, but the uncertainty vanished. “I… yes. Yes, I am. If it means keeping him safe, I’ll do anything.”

Logan placed hand on the violet-haired man’s shoulder. “Then I think it is indeed worth a try. Can we help or support you in any way?”

“I just… I need to think,” Virgil whispered, closing his eyes.

Virgil was terrified. Not for himself, but for Roman. His friend and newly-minted boyfriend. Was this a punishment for pulling an innocent man into a destiny he hadn’t sought out? Did he bring this upon them all from his foolish attempt to be a human rather than a Sage?

His brethren might be merciless. They might cut him off from the ether, turning him mortal. They might forcibly bring him back into the ether, ending his human life and ensuring that he remain a spirit for the rest of eternity. They could even do both, if they were feeling particularly displeased: kill his current form and cut him off from his connection. He’d be truly dead then, with absolutely no chance of returning. There was no way of knowing what action they’d take, or if what Virgil was about to attempt was a heinous enough offense to warrant any punishment at all.

All he knew was that he was willing to risk both eternal life and this finite one if it meant Roman would be safe. He took a deep breath, summoning his power, and linked his own arms, forearm to forearm.

He sees a world like the current one. Humans thrive. Magic is invisible to the point of nonexistence. He sees Roman, alive, happy, safe . His heart is soothed until he realizes - he can’t see himself in this future.

The world twists upon itself. He sees natural disasters and apocalypses, the world spinning too fast, the sun collapsing and exploding in a brilliant supernova that stretches to infinity and leaves behind vast nothingness.

He sees himself as Supreme Ruler over humankind and magic folk alike, dragons returning and fairies dancing.

He sees himself at Dante’s side, the man’s former beauty fully restored. He is clinging to his lovers’ arm, doted upon by the sorcerer-king and tended to by the humans that labor in servitude to their magical overlords.

He sees Dante die, himself die, Roman die. And Patton die. And Logan, and Remy, and Virgil’s landlady, and Remy’s boyfriend Antony, and Joan and Talyn and the bakafé’s regulars, Heather and her daughter and Emile and and and...

He sees Roman’s death over and over in hundreds of futures. Now, Dante transforms into a massive adder and tears a chunk out of his shoulder. Now, Roman’s theatre burns in dragonfire, the princely man trapped inside by a falling set as he desperately pushes the last of his cast to safety. Now Virgil himself sends Roman to a labor camp, Dante grinning smugly at his elbow. Roman leaps in front of a witch’s curse in the last fight of the Human Rebellion, keeping Logan and Patton alive for just a few more minutes. Dante chokes Roman to death, holding him up by a vice-like grip on his neck, legs flailing desperately in midair until they go still. Roman, gaunt and hollow-cheeked, dies of starvation in an unknown ruin. Dante breaks Roman’s ribs in his serpentine coils. Roman dies of old age, alone in a dark retirement home. Roman’s blood drips sluggishly down his chest as he is forced to watch Dante kiss Virgil’s neck, and the sorcerer’s casual gesture sends another iron spike through his body- enough to continue killing him, never enough to let him die outright. Roman is in a hospital as a heart monitor slowly blips to flatline. Roman kisses Virgil desperately as an unavoidable blast of magical energy hurtles towards them both. Patton and Roman both watch in horror as Patton thrusts a sword directly through the Roman’s heart, compelled to act against his will by a vindictive fairy’s spell. Roman dies falling from a tower. Roman dies at a furious sprite’s hands, crushed under falling stone. Roman dies. Roman dies. Roman dies.

Tears pour down Virgil’s cheeks. He can’t find the crux. Where is the one choice? What is the future decision that will put the world on the correct path? Who can save the only person he’s ever loved?

Hands grabbed him and shook him to wakefulness. Logan held both his shoulders, pale and visibly shaken, but forcing himself to remain calm. Patton was turned away, glasses on the table beside him, weeping silently. Virgil stared at them both through red-rimmed eyes. He’d broken the Law, risked his powers, and what did he have to show for it? He hadn’t seen anyone whose choice would shape these futures.

But… perhaps that didn’t mean it had been useless. All these years, he’d been sought out by those who didn’t know better, hoping to make the best out of uncertainty. What had he given them? Guidance? That guidance had been a road map to an untimely death as often as not. Following the Law of Sages hadn’t changed that. He’d followed every rule with Kat and she’d died as surely as Colan had. Yes, she’d had a fuller lifetime, but the end result was the same. She’d died, as surely as Baxter had, and Vorel, and Pasithee. What value did his gift add, compared to the pain it had caused, and the tradeoffs he’d made?

His long, long life had been temples, grottos, and mountain caves. Isolation or captivity. His Seekers has been young and old, brave and cowardly, good and evil. And in all his thousands of years on this earth, he’d felt more alive in these last few weeks than ever before. He’d been watching humanity skitter to and fro for eons and only just now understood how wonderful and wonderfully imperfect they could be. And never, in all these years, had his own choices been a part of any future.

All these lives he’d lived. All those false choices he’d presented- were they ever really different? They all lead to death. The ersatz hopes had stacked on each other into a tottering tower that was his present, and there was only one thing keeping it all from collapsing with an impact that would reverberate through his entire past and future. 

These men. These friends . He’d never felt such easy and sudden connection before, had never felt able to trust anyone so completely- Patton, Roman, even Remy. Even Logan, despite it feeling less direct with the scientist. Each of them echoed with familiarity, a thin and whispered melody as old as his power and just as intimate. Why did he feel as if he’d known them before? Why could he picture each of them alive and surrounding him in each one of his past lives?

It couldn’t be magic. He would have been able to sense if any of them were a magical creature. But then why did he feel like these friends of his had weathered and waited through the ages just as surely as he had? As surely as Dante had?

He believed necessarily in the power of choice and free will, but he was not such a fool to stop believing in meaningful coincidence. These men, all of them, meant something to him. And he’d be fucked (sorry, Patton) if he wouldn’t do all he could to protect them. And when he’d looked for a decision-maker in all those possible futures, he hadn’t seen anyone… except himself. 

“Dear Cassandra, forgive me. I can’t just stand by any longer,” he whispered. He grabbed his backpack from beyond the bar and started throwing in anything and everything that his own futures had shown to be useful. “Patton, Logan,” he called over his shoulder. “I’m sorry I can’t explain more right now, but I know where Roman is, and I’m going to save him. If you want to risk it and help, I’ll be at the corner of Canterbury and Laurel. Bring flashlights, and be on your guard. Tell Remy I’m sorry for ditching my shift.” The bell over the door clanged urgently, and he was gone.

Patton watched him go, still in shock. He’d never seen so much pain on one person’s face. Not even in the foster homes he’d lived in before his forever family found him. He wasn’t sure if Virgil knew he’d been continuing to cry as he’d whirled out of the cafe. It hurt his heart to see his young - well, not so young, apparently - friend grieve and suffer right in front of him, his eyes glowing a painfully bright white as tears flowed without stopping. Patton hadn’t been able to bear it, and had had to look away as he begged Logan to “Wake him up, please, God, wake him up!”

Logan turned to him now, and without a word embraced him tightly. Patton hugged back, tears seeping into the other man’s black polo.

“Patton… I’m sorry you had to see that. You’re so gentle and good and…” Logan shuddered, and took a deep breath. “And that was painful to watch.” The blonde head laying on his shoulder nodded. “I don’t want to pretend we’re not both scared, but… I want to help Roman. I want to help Virgil, no matter who he is. Or what he is. After you all saved me… I owe them both that much. But if you can’t or don’t want to, I won’t think any less of you. It’s a scary, uncertain situation, and we’re walking in blind. The sensible option is to avoid it.”

Patton lifted his head, eyes puffy. “Who ever said I’m sensible? They’re our friends, and they’re in trouble.” He took a deep, shuddering breath, and picked up his glasses from where they’d fallen on his lap. “We have other options, but there’s only one right choice. I have flashlights under the bakery counter,  next to the first aid kit. You go grab them, and I’ll lock up the store. Remy will understand.”

author’s note: welp, that happened, did it not

(Now is a GREAT time to tell you this: Dante’s prophecy was inspired by, I kid you not, the movie ‘Pokemon 2000’. “Though the water's Great Guardian shall arise to quell the fighting, alone its song will fail. Thus the Earth shall turn to ash.” As in, Ash Ketchum. ‘The world will turn to flame,’ as in Flame the fire sprite. Did you think this was some deep shit? Nah, man, I am a dork)

[jewishaxelwalker]

Work is over, let us scream.

So hey! Things happened in Flash #54! The issue itself was a wee bit underwhelming, with the majority of it either being a punch-em-up scene between Hulk Trickster and Hulk Flash or Commander Cold and Barry throwing words at each other, but I mean. I haven’t been interested in a Flash comic because of a Flash in quite a while.

When we last saw Axel, he was a hulking man-beast. That’s still going on, but now Barry has also gained some of the Strength Force, and a chunk of the issue is spent trying to extract it from Axel while avoiding fights with both Commander Cold and Warden Wolfe. Axel’s original focus, which was to destroy Iron Heights, Warden Wolfe, and any Rogue he can get his mitts on, has been derailed in favor of fighting the Flash. Which is fine, I’d basically expected it to go down like that, anyway. In the end, the Strength Force gets overloaded between the two of them, transfers completely to Axel, and then leaves him entirely. The sequence is very nice. And then...he.

Things we now know for sure about Axel:

He’s young enough and shows enough compassion for others that Barry is sure he can be swayed to the hero side. Which like...could be fun to explore? But then again, the Rogues have almost always operated with a code in that grey area between villainy and heroism, what with the whole “we fight this ONE DUDE/his sidekicks in this ONE (sometimes two) CITY and we’re not out here for RANDOM WANTON DESTRUCTION just a good time and a lot of money” thing they usually stuck to so like. Good luck to you I guess, Barry.

Axel was in Iron Heights with the other Rogues for months...it’s very likely that he took the fall for them on more than one occasion and was then tortured in the guise of punishment. I mean...y’all remember how he reacted to being sent to solitary back in #36:

What I’d originally interpreted as not wanting to be separated from his friends and fellow inmates because he was a social person looks a lot more sinister now. He knew what would be coming all alone in solitary, and he knew it would be bad.

while he may have been pretty mad at Len while hopped up on Strength Force, once he actually saw the rest of the Rogues in danger, his respect/admiration/genuine affection for them caused him to snap back to normal, mentally. He called them the only family he has, which pretty much proves that the Strength Force really does mess up your brain meat when you’re hit with a full blast. Barry was able to keep his mind straight because he and Axel only ever shared the power.

And finally, maybe even most importantly, Axel was never in any danger. James and Copperhead had been watching him for a while. They sent the Para-Angels to snatch him up out of police custody, because it was the only time in ages he hadn’t been under lock and key. If he’d just gone along with the “kidnapping”, the Strength Force never would have taken him over. Probably.

It was pretty nice of the Strength Force to let Axel keep his abs. Also...I love that James’ lair has Bi Lighting. Because of course it does.

So uh. Him. He has returned. I’ve got a long, long history with James Jesse, but as this isn’t a James Jesse blog, here have a couple of screenshots of me and @ohhicas (who are somehow still friends despite being the #1 fans of very different Tricksters) talking shit:

[strange-waffles]

So, I have decided to try a re-working of my original story The Flower. It probably will include vore at some point, but right now it does not. Please give me feedback if you have the time! This is part one.

  Her first thought was that it looked much more civilized than she had expected. The walls were bright and smooth, glowing with the light flooding in from the entryway, and a quaint carpet of moss lined the length of the floor, softening the room. Chairs twisted from twigs and vines sat in one corner, next to a small pile of books. Nettie turned toward the creature that had brought her here, shock widening her eyes. He can read? She thought in amazement. Mother never mentioned that they could read…

Her mother.  Why did she have to think about her mother at a time like this? Clenching her fists at her sides, she fought back the shards of liquid pain threatening to spill from her eyes. Her mother was the reason she was in this mess. I shouldn’t have listened to her she chided herself. The villagers were right. She was crazy. Despite her efforts to push the memory away, it came flooding back to her like an unwanted dream.

 Time had finally begun to take its toll. Nettie crouched by her mother’s side, holding a wet rag against her aging forehead, praying to every god she knew of that somehow, the old woman would pull through this. Deep down, she knew it was hopeless. Without the aid of the village medicine man, her mother was sure to die before nightfall.

No help was going to come. They had been outcasts for as long as Nettie could remember, due to her mother’s tendency to think against the common mindset. Melinda had always seen the world differently, even as a young girl, and would spend her leisure time making friends with the creatures of the wood rather than her fellow classmates. Every statement of fact was met with a question, and her teachers soon grew to their wits end. Though these traits were all concerning, what really began to cause trouble for her was her strict opinions on the monsters in the woods. Nettie had been making trips to the village as soon as she was old enough to venture out on her own, and had heard the townspeople whispering conspiratorially about her mother every time she walked through the square. Melinda had insisted that Nettie get a good education, and she had learned early on not to argue. Doing as she was told was the easiest option.

Nettie had never wanted any of this. The outcast life might have been easy enough for her mother, but it was taking a terrible toll on Nettie. Her walks through the village were always met with condescending looks, and sometimes even fear, as if she had something to do with the monsters, herself.  

In school, they learned all about how to survive in the forest, including what plants were safe to eat, how to construct their own shelters, and grow their own crops. Nettie was proud of the things she had learned so far from these lessons, successfully growing food for her aging mother, so that they had to rely on the village less for survival. The rest of their lessons were about the monsters. As soon as the subject was brought up, Nettie’s fellow students would shy away from her, connecting her to the creatures just as their parents had, no doubt stemming from the same stories she had heard whispered through the streets.

The monsters had a name, but many of the villagers refused to use it. During lessons was usually the only time you heard the word spoken – Naga. Everyone else simply used the term monster, or beast. Nagas were quite a bit larger than the average human, reaching an average height of around nine feet tall when sitting upright, and a length of around twenty feet long. Their appearance was not unlike humans down to their waist, but that was where their bodies began to shift into the strong, sinewy coils of a snake. It was these creatures that Melinda cherished most, insisting above all else that they were terribly misunderstood, and needed to be protected.

These lessons focused mostly on the long-held hostility between the two species. Long ago, one had struck at another out of spite, and the other had retaliated, wounding them both. The resulting hatred that had sparked between the two species had carried on throughout the generations. Melinda had been the sole believer that this hatred could be mended, insisting that the root cause of all the trouble had been a simple misunderstanding. This was the reason they had been outcast, forced to the outskirts of the human’s territory.  

Now, Melinda lay on her deathbed awaiting the unknown, while Nettie stood over her, rocking back and forth on her heels. Her mother’s ideas had descended farther into madness because of the fever, and she was now urging Nettie to attempt to bridge the gap between the two species on her own.

Nettie wanted none of it.

“You must go to them, Nettie” Melinda pleaded. “This hate cannot be allowed to continue. So many have been lost…”

“They will kill me” Nettie protested. “You know they will. They are beasts.”

“No…my child…you must listen to me…” Melinda’s voice was now barely more than a whisper.

“If this is so important, why haven’t you gone to them?” The annoyance in her voice was clear, despite her obvious anguish at her mother’s condition.

Melinda’s urgent expression faltered, giving Nettie a very clear answer. “You want me to go in your place, because you were too scared to!” She took a deep breath before continuing. “I will not put my life in danger for your twisted dream, no matter how much I love you, mother.”

“Nettie, you must!” She whispered, a note of desperate urgency in her voice. “For me. Honor your mother’s dying wish…”

This statement struck Nettie right in the heart. “Mom…”

“Promise me” she urged again, using the last of her strength to reach out and cup her hand around her daughter’s pale cheek.

“I promise.” Her response was barely more than a whisper, tinged with a hint of fright. “For you” she took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. “I’ll do it for you.”

Melinda smiled widely in response, before her hand dropped down to her side, and the light left her eyes. Her last breath rattled in her lungs, and escaped her lips in a faint wisp.

Realizing that her mother had just left her for the last time, Nettie threw herself down against the foot of the bed, and wept, the tears streaming down in untamed rivers from her emerald eyes. She stayed like that for long time. How long, she didn’t know, as she had no way to tell the time as she crouched, sobbing into the bedsheets. Her auburn curls bounced around her face, faintly brushing the freckles that speckled across her nose and cheekbones. When at last she broke from the spell of her grief, the light had noticeably dimmed, the moon high in the sky, casting an eerie glow across the windowpane. It was then that she realized that she would have to bury her mother soon, before her body began to rot.

Grabbing the stiffening body by the wrists, she had heaved it from the bed, wincing as it hit the floor with a thud. Then, she had drug it outside, and buried it in a shallow grave at the side of the house. This task, which would have been simple with the aid of several of the townspeople, had taken her nearly the entire night. Afterward, she had slumped back into the small house, curled up in her bed, and began to cry once again.

She had promised to go into the forest. I should at least find some flowers for my mother’s grave, she had thought. Then I can leave. I don’t have to speak to any Nagas... Mother won’t be around to know. The pain from that last thought had stabbed deep into her chest, and brought the threatening sting of tears to her eyes once more.

 Nettie was snapped back into reality at the sound of her captor’s voice.

“You will stay here until I have use for you.” In the doorway stood a figure, tall and imposing. He had captured her in the woods, as she was searching for some blossoms to lay upon the grave of her mother. As he spoke, he motioned to a small side room, branching off from the main chamber of the dwelling. The room was carved out from the side of a decently sized hill. “Don’t try to run. I am a very good at tracking.” He sneered a little at her, before settling himself down in the middle of the room.

Nettie stared back at him, nodding, her mind growing numb with terror. She hadn’t been careful enough, and this beast had caught her as easily as a cat can catch a cricket. Though she had learned all about the Nagas in her classes, she was surprised by just how big this one was in person. He had deep, purple eyes, a mop of charcoal grey hair, and a fair complexion. His snake half bore the light grey and coffee-brown stripes of a copperhead, with scales that gleamed in the light whenever he moved. Nettie was sure that he would be a very handsome creature, if she didn’t find him so terrifying. Slowly, she crept into her new room, and settled down upon the mossy bed in the corner.

Until he has a use for me. She repeated his words in her mind, and they sent a shiver down her spine. That could only mean one thing. Nagas were notorious for taking anyone daring enough to wander into their forest, and none of these people ever returned. Nettie knew she would be no match for him when he came for her. She lay in silence contemplating her predicament, until she heard the same voice calling for her from the main room.

“Hey mouse, come here.”

She stiffened, not wanting to move from the bed. He can’t already…no. No. I can’t let him do this. I must get away.

“Come here. I won’t ask again.”

His voice rang with annoyance at not being obeyed the first time, and Nettie realized that whatever he was planning, it would only get worse if she were to try to prolong it. After easing herself up out of the bed, she crept across the room to the doorway.

“Yes?” The squeak in her voice betrayed her nerves, and earned her a smug cackle from her captor.

“You hungry?”

Surprised, Nettie’s eyes opened wide, as she unconsciously bit her lip. “Hungry?”

“Yes, hungry. Also, what’s your name? You must have a name.”

She nodded, taking a shaky breath as she prepared herself to answer. “Yes, I am. Hungry, I mean.” She paused, and shut her eyes tight. “My name is Nettie.”

“Ah, Nettie. Fine name” the Naga replied, nodding.

He didn’t sound any less imposing, but his choice of words was confusing Nettie. Maybe he isn’t going to do anything just yet. A glimmer of hope lit her eyes, and was noticed immediately.

“Don’t get too comfortable, mouse.” Chuckling as her face fell, he continued. “You are not going anywhere for a while. You’re my pet for now, do you understand?”

Nettie nodded once again, tears welling up in her eyes. “I-I understand” she stammered. “What should I call you?”

This earned her what seemed to be a genuine smile. “Kiith” he answered simply. “Now, eat” he urged, her, motioning to a table on the far side of the room, where a simple looking meal sat steaming, fresh off the fire.

Moving closer, Nettie saw that there were two place settings, and turned back to look at Kiith. “Is some of this for me?”

He nodded, chuckling to himself. “For such a dangerous creature, you’re acting pretty jumpy. Why were you in my forest?”

“Your forest?” Nettie asked, surprised. “I thought the forest was filled with Nagas. What do you mean?”

Kiith scoffed. “Your kind knows so little. We live in territories. This is mine, which you were trespassing upon. Care to explain that?” The hard glint had returned to his eyes, which made Nettie’s skin crawl.

I need to be careful she thought, her head spinning. He could turn on me in a moment. “I was looking for flowers.” She paused, looking down at her feet. “For my mother’s grave.”

“Your mother is dead? What about your father?”

He wants to know if anyone is going to come looking for me. The thought came suddenly, and the realization kickstarted her heart into a frenzy. “Abandoned us when I was born. Please, let me go back home. I won’t come back, I promise.”

Kiith studied her with a guarded expression, eyes glinting with cold uncertainty. “And have you send back a group of able bodied men to hunt me down like a rabbit? You’re not going anywhere.”

Though she had been expecting this kind of response, the disappointment and dread sliced through her chest like a red-hot knife. Taking a deep breath, she attempted to focus instead on the plate in front of her, reaching out to pick up a piece of the meat that the creature had prepared. She bit into it, and her eyes lit up in surprise.

“It’s good!” she gasped. “What is it?”

Kiith smiled at her reaction. “Venison” he replied. When she gave him a quizzical look, he chuckled and added, “deer meat.”

“How do you know how to cook?” Nettie’s gaze swiveled back to the pile of books that she had noticed upon entering the dwelling. “Where did those books come from? Can you read?”

“So many questions” Kiith remarked, a hint of amusement in his tone. “I learned from the books. They were gifts.” From who, he did not say.

“Gifts?” she repeated. “From…from humans?”

Kiith nodded. “Yes, a human gave me these books, in exchange for information about our species.”

Nettie stopped eating to listen. “We were taught that Nagas despised humans. Why were you talking to one?”

Kiith sighed, now growing a little irritated. “That’s a long story.” His coils began to shift, coiling up then relaxing rhythmically; a nervous habit he had developed as a child.

“So, you didn’t try to kill her on sight?” Nettie asked eagerly. “You let her go?”

“I do not kill unnecessarily” Kiith scoffed. “Typical human way of thinking.” He paused a moment before continuing. “I was wary, but she kept her distance, and didn’t seem to want to cause me any harm. Unlike most humans that come into my forest, she didn’t carry a weapon, and seemed to show profound respect for the forest around her.”

A small smile lit Nettie’s face, but it was heavily laced with pain. “That sounds a lot like my mother. She taught me to always respect the forest and its creatures, and was even exiled from our village because of her love for your kind.

Kiith seemed to perk up at that. “What was her name?”

Nettie blinked. “What?”

“Your mother” Kiith replied, his tail coiling even more. “What was her name?”

“Melinda” Nettie answered, her confusion apparent. After a few more moments, she began to piece it together. “Wait. Did my mother…?”

Kiith nodded, his eyes beginning to glint with tears. “Melinda is dead?”

“Nobody would help her. I tried to ask the village, but the medicine man wouldn’t come. They were afraid, I think, because she was so fond of your kind.” Nettie’s own eyes were beginning to fill with liquid emotion. “I couldn’t do anything. I tried, I really tried.” Sobs began to rack her form, the wells in her eyes spilling over. “Her dying wish was for me to come here.”

That brought a strained smile to Kiith’s face. “She wanted you to meet me.”

Nettie nodded, trying to smile herself, but only managed to lift one side of her mouth, so that it resembled a confused sneer. “She said that the Nagas wouldn’t hurt me, that they would understand.” Looking up into Kiith’s eyes, she continued. “Why didn’t you attack me?”

There was a long sigh, then response that somehow achieved the tone of annoyance, despite the tears streaming down his face. “I told you, I do not kill unnecessarily. You didn’t look dangerous, I wasn’t going to just attack a helpless human.”

“I am not helpless!” Nettie snapped back, momentarily forgetting who held the power in the room.

“Oh?” The cold, glint returned to Kiith’s eyes as the stream of tears faltered. “Be careful, mouse. Even if you are Melinda’s daughter, if you do not show me the proper respect, I will have to teach you a lesson. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Kiith” Nettie whispered, just loud enough for him to hear. “I understand.”

“Good.” His tone had softened, but his eyes had not. “You are still a human, even if you are related to…his eyes began to well up with tears once more as he spoke, and he turned away from her.

Nettie continued eating in nervous silence, not wanting to disturb the great creature before her, who had been overcome by grief. She didn’t look up again until she heard him breathe a heavy sigh, and shift his body to face her once more.  

[paynepestcontrol]

Pests That Pose Dangers to Your Pets in California

For any individual who has pets, we understand what a significant piece of your family they are! For the vast majority who own pets, they're an expansion of our family. Even though San Diego is an extraordinary spot to live as a result of our warm climate and clamoring urban communities, there is one thing we would all be able to concur on that regular sucks: bugs. 

In light of our warm environment and substantial precipitation, vermin are an all-year danger to property holders in CA. If you've seen the accompanying irritations around your home or yard, your pets could be in danger. We should discuss the ones you should look out for if you have fuzzy companions! 

#1: Fleas 

Perhaps the most widely recognized irritations that can hurt your felines and canines are Fleas. These annoying creepy crawlies can lock onto your pet as their host, spreading them to different creatures, inside your home for quite a long time at a time. Since these bugs are so little, they can be amazingly difficult to spot - particularly if your pet has a dim hide. Watch out for little dark bugs that leap far out nearly as fast as they show up. So for what reason would fleas be able to be hazardous? 

Your pet could experience the ill effects of flea chomp dermatitis, a particular hypersensitivity to insect spit that can cause unnecessary tingling and scratching, which can prompt scabs and contaminations. 

Your pet could likewise experience the ill effects of insect chomp iron deficiency, which is when bugs feed such a lot that they can diminish your pet's red platelet check. This is more normal for more youthful creatures like little cats and young doggies. 

Your pet could ingest tapeworms, which are parasites that are passed on when the creature ingests the bug. Tapeworms can cause weight reduction and a bothered posterior. 

The most effective method to Forestall Fleas 

So since we know why fleas can be hazardous, we should discuss how you can forestall them. When insects connect themselves to your pet, they duplicate rapidly. The main advance of insurance is to treat your pet with safeguard care, for example, insect restraints or oral medicines. This can help hinder insects from arriving on your pet in any case. You can likewise treat your yard for bugs so they don't have the chance to be around your creatures or kids! Bringing in the experts to help execute a yard bug administration will likewise be a good thought. 

#2: Ticks 

While fleas are more irritating than anything, ticks can be hazardous. Similarly that ticks can spread sicknesses to people, they can likewise taint your pet. In any case, since pets can't convey similarly, manifestations or disturbances can regularly go unnoticed until it's past the point of no return. Probably the most widely recognized indications of a tick chomp on creatures include: 

Red and kindled skin 

Itching and irritation 

Loss of craving 

Torpidity and change in temperament 

These risky pests can likewise convey and send blood-borne illnesses, for example, 

Tick paralysis 

Lyme illness 

Ehrlichiosis 

Rocky Mountain spotted fever 

Encephalitis 

Step by step instructions to Forestall Ticks 

Likewise to fleas, your smartest choice to evade tick-borne sicknesses is to forestall them through and through. If you live in intensely lush regions, make certain to perform ordinary checks of your canine to ensure one hasn't connected itself to your pet. On the off chance that you do discover one, it ought to be promptly and deliberately eliminated, preferably by a prepared veterinarian. Standard assessments and brisk evacuation will help limit the harm brought about by ticks, yet to forestall them, put your pet on a deterrent treatment and have your yard routinely kept up with tick repellent medicines. 

#3: Snakes 

For any outside pets, snakes can be the biggest threat. While noxious varieties present evident issues, chomps from non-venomous snakes can damage pets, prompting expanded hostility and conduct issues. 

Instructions to Forestall Snakes 

San Diego is known to normally have 4 kinds of venomous snakes: the coral snake, copperhead, rattlesnake, and cottonmouth. While all snakes ought to be dealt with by an expert if you presume any of these are on your property, reach us promptly for safe evacuation or killing. 

#4: Rodents 

Rodents come altogether shapes and sizes, and every one of them can be very unsanitary! Not exclusively are rodents pulled into your food, however they can likewise get into your pet's food supply, passing hazardous sicknesses that can make both you and your pet debilitated.

The most effective method to Forestall Rodents 

Like any other pests, addressing the issue beforehand is better than addressing any aftermath later! If you can keep rodents from truly venturing foot in or around your home, you will not need to stress over the peril of them. Here are a couple of simple approaches to forestall rodents: 

Store all human and pet food in impenetrable compartments. 

Eat just in assigned spots like your kitchen or lounge area. 

Try not to permit your pets to drag scraps all through the house. 

Seal breaks and openings - explicitly where wires and lines enter your home. 

On the off chance that you notice indications of a rat invasion or see them on display, contact an expert like Payne Pest Management in San Diego a prominent San Diego Pest Control expert for safe safe extermination.

#5: Bed Bugs 

Normal to California, the bed bug is answerable for a new wide flare-up of the Chagas illness. Bed bugs are nighttime, blood-taking care of pests that send a parasite that contaminates the two people and homegrown creatures. California, sadly, has one of the greatest varieties and thickness of bed bugs in the whole US. Cases have been recorded everywhere in the state and represent a genuine danger to your pets. This parasite can influence a human and creature's cardiovascular wellbeing, bringing about diminished heart work and the powerlessness to siphon liquids all through the body. 

On the off chance that you notice bed bugs or some other vermin around your home, let the specialists at Payne Pest Management, a prominent pest control agency in San Diego, CA help kill them. We utilize a group of guaranteed entomologists that have gone through years examining the conduct and science of bugs. We have the experience and the skill to dispense with even the most noticeably awful pests issues in the most negligibly intrusive manner conceivable.

[gsuartkadenroshaven]

The Walk

SP#3

            I began the walk and immediately saw my mother pulling into the neighborhood from work.  We said hello to each other, and I continued.  I immediately began looking at everyone’s plants.  Many people have the same ones; day lilies, sweet potatoes, poppies, elephant ears, and a million shrubs that I don’t know the names of. My favorite ones were these incredibly small blooms that were colored like marigolds but were shaped more like wildflowers.   The petals had a texture that I very much so wanted to paint, and I don’t really paint at all.  Crossing the street, I definitely passed the home where a few years ago someone had been murdered, and I hope their family is doing alright now, but there’s a feeling like you need to hold your breath when you walk by.  And you know it’ll never be the same for even the people around them. Passing by many of the houses that we passed in our bus ride I was able to slowly appreciate the work everyone puts into their yards.  Some people more than others, some people who’ve just payed someone else, and some people who add a bunch of different decorations to their gardens that somehow feel as though they work together.  There were a few kids out, but not nearly as many as I’ve seen in the past.  The swing set that was nearly always occupied was very still and very vacant.  Across from them two men stood at the top of their driveway next to the garage door, and I remembered in high school that there were almost twenty grown men that ran after me and my friends who happened to walk by there one night.  I remembered why I didn’t take walks in this neighborhood anymore.  I could hear them talking loudly and kept looking at the plants, only pine trees and grass in their yard, but around them immaculate manicured bushes and shrubs that belong to the same people who sneered at the children playing  with their own.  And then I saw a friendly face, a little baby snake in the road trying to make it across.  He was so scared of me just walking past, and I snapped a picture to identify him later, knowing at least he wasn’t a copperhead.  A brown snake! I realized at the same time I started to cross the busy road outside the neighborhoods.  I didn’t look until the last second, saw no cars, and trotted across.  A few houses down, halfway home, there was a man in his front yard with his dachshund.  I think I had delivered pizza to him before? But never saw his dog.  I smiled and waved, and he did too, all while his dog barked at me, hello to you too.  The rest of the walk happened in a blur of anxiety, this section has a lot of signs in it, some for Biden and some for Trump, but the houses that had nothing disturbed me the most.  I knew some of those people and that’s what freaked me out, a lot of insidiousness can happen so close to your home.  I power walked back to my house, all the while just keeping my head down, no longer really looking at the beautiful things around me but avoid all the ugly.

So I went back to that same house that my friends and I were chased at several years ago.  Its something that has always bothered me, and I didn’t realize that I needed closure until the first walk.  The walk to the spot felt different, overall, everything felt confrontational and I was on guard.  I’ve known that I’m a pretty defensive person, especially with interpersonal interactions and I’m working on that, but I didn’t really think about how that aspect affects other things like stature and mood.  It was a good change of lens from looking at how I interact with others versus how I interact with myself.  Upon approaching the house, I didn’t feel a sense of anxiety waning or growing, but a steady thrum of it.  I don’t think its bad, but its not something I need to think about outside of situations like that.  There’s no sense in being paranoid my whole life, it’ll only make it worse.  Coming to accept some dangers instead of fighting against them is, a battle.   I didn’t leave anything as a gift, it probably wouldn’t be appropriate, but I did linger in the area a little longer than someone would. Once the road started turning pitch black I turned around to no longer outstay my welcome.  

[thorkidumpster]

oh my G O D. so today and yesterday were days, lemme tell you.

yesterday i woke up to a woman screaming bloody goddamn murder, like, a top-of-her-lungs, terrified shriek and boy howdy does that not bode well for my mental health. she was fine, a snake had gotten into her kitchen and was apparently chilling out in her sink. i know this, because i could hear every word she screamed into the phone to animal control.

if i liked the neighbor, which i don’t, i would’ve just offered to do it myself. you don’t grow up so deep in the country corn comes outta your ass without doing dumb shit, like moving copperheads, on the DL. though to be fair, on the grand scale of how much i care about my life, i’m usually a 3.

anyway. animal control arrives, cart the snek out. i wish i knew what type it was; i tried asking in the afternoon, but she just looked at me and sneered, “you think i know?!” well fuck me for thinking you’d be curious about the really cool reptile that got into your house, jesus. 

after a bit of research, the thing probably wasn’t even dangerous -- there’s only two venomous snakes in minnesota, and one hasn’t been seen in my area for literal decades while the other is a rattlesnake type, and that’s the one everyone knows. because it, you know. rattles.

moving on.

i did, however, manage to adult several times, including applying for insurance and getting my address changed with USPS and the voter registration place. i even researched a bit to find an LGBT+ counselor that’s a) accepting new patients, b) takes the cheap-ass state plan i applied for, and c) has a good history with trans patients in the past.

so i found one who seemed nice, and noted on her website that she has experience with trans patients and getting them their letters of recommendation for HRT. awesome! 

but. talking. i’m not good at that.

i emailed her, which was pretty much the last spoon i’m going to have until i recharge, about setting up an interview of sorts to see if she’s The One. 

i’m so emotionally burnt out y’all like this should be easy shit, just filling out forms and writing an email, but god.

at least it’s done.

now i’m looking at the possibility that i’m going to be publishing my first ever fiction book in a week. it’s only a novella, but holy shit y’all. holy shit.

oh, and i’m putting the final touches on a commission, and thor’s pregnant in my sims 3 game.

[scootoaster]

The longest species of snakes that slither the planet

This story originally featured on Field & Stream.

Pretty much all of the really impressive “biggest snakes in the world”—the 50-footers and up—live online or in Hollywood. (Many of the latter starred in the 1982 Arnold Schwarzenegger breakthrough hit Conan the Barbarian and are retired now.) But even in the real world, a handful of snake species can grow to immense proportions. The longest of them, pythons, can stretch well beyond the length of George Washington’s 21-foot nose on Mount Rushmore, and there is anecdotal evidence of some specimens reaching 33 feet, or nearly as long as a telephone pole. In 2017, the body of a palm fruit farmer in Indonesia was found inside a 23-foot-long python. Villagers became suspicious when they found the snake “slithering awkwardly” near where the farmer’s boot was found. There was also the man-sized bulge in the snake’s body.

What follows isn’t a strict rundown of the largest snakes ever recorded, as that would mostly involve pythons of slightly different lengths. Instead, here are the world’s largest snake species, along with a few individual specimens that are just too impressive to leave out.

Reticulated python

Cast members of The Edge of Hell Haunted House in Kansas City show off Medusa, a 25-foot, 2-inch reticulated python and Guinness World Records holder for largest living snake. (Guinness World Records/)

Anacondas get all the press about being the biggest snakes because they are in terms of weight (see below). But the longest documented living snake is a reticulated python named Medusa, who resides at The Edge of Hell Haunted House in Kansas City. Medusa is 25 feet, 2 inches long and weighs 350 pounds. When it’s “show time,” Medusa will stay completely still for the entire haunted-house performance. She is fed a small deer every other week or so. A python, like Medusa, bites its prey and then swallows it whole. There is an alleged record of 32-foot, 10-inch reticulated python that was shot in 1912. But, like most long snake records, this one is hard to nail down. Snake stories, it seems, are a lot like fish stories.

Green anaconda

Two men hold a green anaconda skin in Brazil’s Amazon basin. (Hemis/Alamy/)

Green anacondas are the biggest of their kind, reaching lengths of 30 feet and weighing up to 500 pounds. There is a news clipping from 2016 about a 33-foot anaconda in Brazil, but it hasn’t been independently confirmed. Anacondas are a great reason not to go swimming in South America, since that’s where they live and they are primarily water snakes. Their immense weight makes them cumbersome on land, but they’re incredibly stealthy in the water, lying motionless until their prey comes into range. They have been known to eat whole jaguars. That would make an awesome YouTube video, but I looked for three hours and couldn’t find one. So, here’s a video of some anacondas and alligators. As with most snakes, female anacondas are bigger than the males. Eggs hatch inside the snake’s body, so they give birth to live babies. The mother, who goes without food for the seven-month gestation period, eats the babies that do not survive birth. Snakes have never been known for being sentimental.

Burmese python

FWC Python Action Team member Kevin Reich captured this 17-foot 9-inch Burmese python in Florida’s Big Cypress National Preserve. (Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission/)

Python’s were first seen in the Florida Everglades in the 1990s, and now nobody really knows how many of them there are. We do know that the majority of them are Burmese pythons, a favorite of pet owners. What happens when a pet snake escapes or gets too big to keep and the owner doesn’t have the heart to kill it? It finds its way to the Everglades and nearby swampy areas, where it joins a population that has nearly wiped out some species of mammals and reptiles. The longest such snake caught to date measured 18 feet, 8 inches. But the heaviest Florida python was a Burmese killed in 2012 that weighed 164-½ pounds and measured 17 feet, 7 inches. That snake had 87 eggs inside it. The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) Python Action Team has now removed 900 Burmese pythons from the wild in Florida. But with high-end estimates of the python population in Florida at 300,000, that’s just a drop in the bucket.

Bushmaster

Bushmasters are the largest venomous snakes in the Americas. (John Sullivan/Alamy/)

One snake that’s easy to remember is the fer-de-lance or bushmaster, whose Latin name has been translated as “Silent Death.” It’s the largest venomous snake in the Americas, occasionally reaching 12 feet. Bushmasters are known for their coffin-shaped head, which is apt because it’s deadly. The bushmaster is often described as aggressive, excitable, and unpredictable when disturbed. Like most snakes, it prefers to flee from danger. But if bothered, it will suddenly reverse course and envenomate you with some very nasty chemicals. The bushmaster is a pit viper, which means it uses heat-sensing pits on each side of its head as infrared sensors. Basically, they see the world the way we do with the addition of the infrared spectrum—kind of like the Terminator. In the state of Lara, Venezuela, it is responsible for 78 percent of all fatal snakebites.

Titanoboa cerrjoensis

This life-size replica of <i>Titanboa</i> was on display at the Smithsonian National Museum of History in 2013. (Smithsonian/)

The biggest snake that ever existed—that we know of, anyway—was Titanoboa. (Get it?) The snake lived 60 million years ago, just 6 million years after Tyrannasaurus Rex departed the scene. Fossilized remains of a serpent 42 feet long—that’s as long as the largest school buses—and weighing an estimated 2,500 pounds were discovered in coal-mining pits in Colombia. Scientists believe that Titanoboa was the apex predator of its time and acted very much like a super-sized anaconda, spending most of its time in the water. It constricted its prey and consumed it whole. Its jaw structure and many teeth suggest that it was adept at catching fish, but it probably also fed on 12-foot crocodiles and turtles 5 feet in diameter. Some scientists point to the snake’s size as an indicator of a tropical climate warmer than has been previously thought. They reason that no cold-blooded animal that size would have had the resources to regulate its body temperature and survive in a climate absent mean temperatures in the 90s.

Eastern indigo

This black snake is the longest in North America. (Danita Delimont/Alamy/)

The longest snake in North America is the eastern indigo, which is a kind of black snake that lives in coastal Georgia, Florida, Alabama, and Mississippi, a region that is undergoing rapid condo-ization. The longest Eastern indigo on record measured 9.2 feet, but the species may not be around much longer. It is listed as federally threatened in Florida and Georgia. The Alabama Department of Conservation and Natural Resources lists the snake as possibly extirpated. When threatened, the indigo can flatten its necks to look bigger—like they’re not already big enough. One survival mechanism this snake does have up its, er, sleeve, however, is that it’s immune to the venom of the rattler, cottonmouth, and copperhead.

Eastern diamondback

The Eastern diamondback can weigh more than 30 pounds. (skeeze from Pixabay /)

For big, scary snakes, the Eastern diamondback rattler is one of your better contenders. It’s often considered the most dangerous venomous snake in North America. Guinness World Records doesn’t have a single listing for “heaviest poisonous snake” but ventures that the Eastern diamondback is “probably” the one. A specimen shot in 1946 measured 7 feet, 8 inches. Perhaps even more terrifying is that it weighed 34 pounds. That’s just way too much rattlesnake. Picture a musclebound fullback that shoots venom through its teeth and you’ve basically got a big diamondback. Also, it has a double-action venom, which, according to one source, contains “a thrombin-like enzyme crotalase, capable of clotting fibrinogen, leading to the secondary activation of plasminogen from endothelial cells.” I have no idea what that is, but I don’t like the sound of it one bit. The Eastern diamondback has the longest fangs of any rattlesnake, at up to an inch. And it can inject enough venom to kill three men.

Black mamba

The black mamba is often cited as the world’s deadliest snake. (Michael Kleinsasser from Pixabay /)

The black mamba is the longest venomous snake in Africa and the second longest in the world. The largest reported mamba was 14.6 feet, although they are more commonly about 8 to 10 feet long. The black mamba has several things going for it in the nastiness index. It hunts both on the ground and in trees, so there’s always the prospect of being struck in the eyeball. Its venom is a daiquiri of neurotoxins that induce painful symptoms within 10 minutes and can be fatal within 20. It’s a sprinter, capable of reaching speeds of 12 miles per hour. It’s a nervous snake and, when threatened, extremely aggressive. Because of these factors, it’s widely considered the world’s deadliest snake. Nevertheless, many citations insist that it’s a shy snake that wants to avoid you unless it feels threatened. Personally, I don’t trust this. If you don’t think it feels threatened but the snake decides it does anyway, guess whose opinion counts for more.

King cobra

The king cobra is the world’s longest venomous snake. (Karsten Paulick from Pixabay /)

Not to be confused with the malt liquor of the same name, the King Cobra is the world’s longest venomous snake, period, growing up to 18 feet. That’s three of me. When confronted, it can “stand up,” lifting a third of its length off the ground, and still propel itself forward to attack. Native to the forests of Southeast Asia, this thing makes you want to think twice before going for a hike. Like Mike Tyson, it is shy and retiring right up until it isn’t. It’s the only snake in the world that builds a nest for its eggs, which it guards “ferociously.” The good news, relatively speaking, is that king cobra venom is not particularly potent, as these things go. The bad is that they can deliver so much of it in a single bite—up to nearly half a fluid ounce—that there’s enough of it to kill 20 people. Or, as occasionally happens, an elephant. For some reason snake charmers like king cobras. But snake charming is a sad business when you know how it’s done. They use an exhausted animal which is conditioned— through pain—not to strike the charmer.

King brown

The king brown is actually a member of the black snake family. (Ken Griffiths/Alamy/)

One thing I’ve learned while researching this story is that you want to avoid any venomous snake with the word “king” in its name. Another Australian native, the king brown is actually a member of the black snake family. The longest on record was 11 feet, although most average 6 to 8. There are more venomous snakes in Australia, but the king brown makes up for this with a savage bite and a habit of chewing on its prey as it injects large quantities of venom. The venom breaks down blood cells, damages muscle tissue, and is mildly neurotoxic. On the whole, you don’t feel very well. Should antivenin be required, make sure to request black snake antivenin, which works much better than that for brown snakes. This is the only venomous snake here that is not listed as placid unless provoked. Which probably means it’s crazy and bad-tempered all the time.

[darthlordcommie]

JL: Only A Dream

I am going to talk about one of my all-time favorite episodes in the Justice League cartoon. The two-parter “Only a Dream”. 

Synopsis: It starts with a guy called John Dee having a daydream about taking down the entire Justice League single-handedly with a machine, before being snapped out of it. In his real life, he’s a prisoner, who was arrested by the League, at Stryker’s Island who’s been volunteering as a guinea pig for experiments that give ESP. He wants to try turning the machine that does this all the way up, but the scientists think it’s too risky. He then goes on to have a bad day when he’s turned down for parole and his wife leaves him for another man. 

That night, a prison riot breaks out, and multiple dangerous superhuman inmates get loose. In the confusion, Dee goes to the lab with the ESP machine, knocks out the scientist, and puts himself under it at full power. 

In total, the most dangerous escapees are Solomon Grundy, Copperhead, Volcana, Firefly, and Luminus. Batman and Green Lantern quickly locate Volcana and Firefly, who had teamed up, and Lantern takes them down by putting them in an airtight bubble... that they try to burn their way out of. After returning them to prison, Lantern joins the other Leaguers to deal with the supervillains, and Batman decides to find Dee, who disappeared and left several guards in a catatonic state, despite not having slept for 3 days (Alfred must be on vacation). 

Superman and J’onn fling Grundy into the water, knocking him out from the impact since he can’t fly. Luminus gets the drop on Hawkgirl, who starts panicking because she’s actually claustrophobic, before Superman breaks her out and he and Flash subdue Luminus. Copperhead attempts to use Hawkgirl as a hostage, but she hovers several stories up to keep him from poisoning her, and Lantern blasts him off. 

While this was going on, Dee hunted down his wife, and telepathically entered her dream, calling himself “Dr. Destiny” and trapping her in a catatonic nightmare. 

After being unable to wake, J’onn tries to enter her mind, but can’t break her out, and the only thing he learns is that Dee has taken on his new persona, and that he wants revenge against the League. Batman tries to warn the others, but they’ve already fallen asleep, leading Dee to trap them in nightmares as well. 

While Batman hunts Dee, (stopping for some coffee because he really can’t risk falling asleep) J’onn brings everyone else to the Watchtower so he can treat them. After finding out that Dee’s wife died from the torture Dee put her through, J’onn risks actively pushing into the Leaguer’s minds to help them, even though that carried the risk of injuring their minds. 

J’onn manages to get Superman, Lantern, and Flash to fight their way free of the nightmares, but due to a combination of Dee focusing his telepathy solely on Hawkgirl, and her own natural resistance to telepathy, they can’t make their way to her nightmare to help her. 

While this was happening, Batman tracks down Dee at the warehouse he was arrested at, and his proximity allows Dee to use telepathy, even though Batman’s awake. However, Batman manages to mostly keep Dee out by repeatedly humming “Frère Jacques”, leaving Dee to rely on partial illusions and hand-to-hand, where he tries to inject Batman with a sedative, but Batman overpowers him, and he injects himself. Hawkgirl wakes up ok, Batman sleeps in a chair in the infirmary, (his back is going to kill him) and Dee’s in a coma back at Stryker’s. 

Why I like this: It really gets into the fears of several of the Leaguers, and shows what really terrifies them. 

Superman’s nightmare is that he loses control, constantly growing stronger and stronger, and inadvertently killing multiple people he cares about, including Lois Lane, Perry White, and Jimmy Olsen. At heart, that’s what Superman fears. He’s afraid of losing control, and becoming a monster that kills people easily. And what’s interesting is that that’s a fear that is very real, and very possible, as seen in “A Better World”. 

Green Lantern’s nightmare is that he becomes so alien to the people of his home that they look upon him in fear and confusion, and he can’t even understand what they’re saying, all while his ring is destroying him from the inside. This ties into him being afraid of losing who he is, and of forgetting himself in the power he’s gained, and the many places he’s been and seen. 

Flash’s nightmare is that he moves so fast everyone around him is stopped. This is an interesting one, because it gets into Flash’s fear: that his power, the power that’s allowed him to help so many people and meet so many people, will ultimately trap him, and cut him off from everyone, and nobody will ever even notice. 

Hawkgirl’s nightmare is simple, but no less powerful: her wings are strapped together so she can’t fly, and she’s buried alive. For someone who’s claustrophobic, that would probably be the worst thing she could imagine. It’s telling that her worst fear is of that type of being trapped, instead of losing control of her power, like the other three. That was a nice one, because it showed how powerful phobias are. 

Ultimately, I like this episode because it really does a good job of humanizing the Justice League. We see their fears, and their hesitations, and if you go back to other episodes, those fears show up in other places. 

[josephkitchen0]

Problems with Free Range Chickens

By Donna Insco, Missouri — I have kept a flock of free-range chickens for 20 years. Allowing poultry to roam can cause problems, but there are reasonable solutions to the problems with free range chickens.  Some things must be considered before letting your flock out of the coop. A free-ranging flock is not recommended if you have close neighbors. Your birds will not recognize property lines and you can’t expect a neighbor to fence his property to keep your birds out. Some breeds of poultry wander farther than others. I remember my grandmother’s guineas out in the field 150 yards from the house. However, my New Hampshires and Rhode Islands never get more than 50 yards away. Another thing to consider is the proximity of neighboring dogs, since they will likely be the predators that cause the most concern. In many areas, free running dogs outnumber the local population of wild predators.

Advantages of Free Ranging

For me, the benefits of free-range birds outweigh the disadvantages. Since I started keeping chickens, the price of 50 pounds of laying mash has nearly tripled, and the price continues to climb. Allowing birds to forage for some of their own food reduces the costs of keeping them. In summer, hens can get approximately half of their food by patrolling the yard, pasture, edge of the woods and barnyard.

Free-range chickens suppress ticks, ants and crop pests such as caterpillars and grasshoppers. Chickens relish these pests as tasty morsels. Their constant scratching in the dirt helps prevent some insect eggs from hatching by uncovering them and causing the eggs to dry out in the sun and wind.

Chickens also dislike snakes, and will sometimes let you know when one is near. My hens have a peculiar cackle when a snake is close by. Once, the flock had a snake surrounded and backed up against the truck tire. From a distance, it looked like a copperhead, but turned out to be a harmless hognose.

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Disadvantages of Free Ranging

Problem #1: Flying Where They Shouldn’t Be

There are some problems with free range chickens, however.  They will completely destroy young plants in a garden. They will jump to remove tomatoes and berries from established vines, as well as peck holes in turnips, cucumbers, and squash. If they can reach it, they will either eat it or ruin it.

The solution is to fence the garden with 48-inch poultry netting with a strand of barbed wire six inches above that. Initial costs of fencing are high, but “chicken wire” will also keep out rabbits, turtles, dogs, and other small animals that can’t climb. Depending on climate, poultry netting will last for eight to 12 years before it rusts away.

My garden fence worked beautifully at keeping the hens out until I bought several dozen Barred Rocks. They were apparently the hoodlums of the chicken world, because they gleefully sailed over the fence and made confetti out of my vegetable plants. If you keep big heavy birds that don’t fly well, a garden fence may be all that is required. But now I routinely clip the flight feathers of my birds.

Problem #2: Predators

Predators cause serious problems with free range chickens. Foxes, coyotes, skunks, weasels, raccoons, opossums, and hawks all enjoy chicken for dinner so it’s important to know how to protect chickens from predators. In the years I have owned poultry, I have lost perhaps 30 birds to predators. I can honestly say that 98 percent of the time the predator was my own dog. On two separate occasions, I took in stray dogs that turned out to be chicken killers. It is probably a mistake to keep strays, or to accept second-hand or free-to-a-good-home dogs. Any canine not raised around free-roaming birds will likely become a chicken killer. Once they know it’s wrong, they can be quite sneaky at it.

Conversely, the best defense against other four-legged predators is a big farm dog patrolling his domain for interlopers. Our dogs consider themselves to be masters of all they survey. Several opossums and skunks have experienced an untimely demise because they didn’t believe it.

Protecting chickens from hawks has never been a serious problem for me. Only twice have I witnessed birds of prey attempting to take one of the hens. Once, a big red-tail plunged out of the sky, hit a hen in an explosion of feathers, but then left empty-taloned when the hen rolled under the tractor. She survived.

Another time, some sort of falcon streaked between the barn and the coop and made a tight turn directly over the heads of several hens. They didn’t wait for it to make a second pass, but dove for cover like kids playing commando. Suddenly aware that death could come from above, for weeks the flock was seldom seen out in the open. Seeing people up close makes hawks nervous, or perhaps they realize that their natural prey disappears when humans are around. So the best defense against birds of prey is a lot of outside human activity. A bunch of noisy, rambunctious children works fabulously.

Problem #3: Losing the Eggs

Adding to the list of problems with free range chickens is the loss of eggs. Instead of using the chicken nesting boxes provided, chickens may prefer to find their own secret spots to lay eggs, often inconveniently located. The cure is to keep them in their coop until at least noon, to force them to lay where you want them to. Some will still delay egg laying until they’re released. Every few days, we look in the spots where they have made secret nests in the past and manage to collect most of the eggs.

Problem #4: Foraging for Danger

Keep in mind, also, that anything harmful, such as pesticides, cleansers or fertilizer must be kept away from poultry. Chickens will eat things that other animals wouldn’t dream of eating, and since they are in the human food chain, be especially vigilant. Poultry should not be allowed to forage in the trash, so keep trash and recycling bins covered and inaccessible. Besides the obvious poisoning opportunity, things like bits of aluminum foil or Styrofoam cups or packing peanuts may stop up their crop and kill them.

A flock of hens parading around the farm is the image of country life. The problems with free range chickens can be managed so that the farmstead can enjoy the benefits of less expensive birds and fewer insect pests.

Have you had other problems with free range chickens? We’d love to hear from you!

Donna Insco raises free-range chickens in Richwoods, Missouri.

Originally published in the August/September 2016 issue of Backyard Poultry magazine.

Problems with Free Range Chickens was originally posted by All About Chickens

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Copperhead Road 2

Supernatural RPF AU 

Warnings: RPF 

Request from an annon reader: Will you write a prohibition 1920′s story with Richard Speight Jr and the supernatural cast?

Link to Chapter 1 

Words: 3,047

Pairings: Richard Speigh Jr x Reader 

_________

You didn’t sleep at all that night! After Richard left there was no way that you would be able to sleep! Your mind was racing around the thoughts of his proposal. One minute, you were beyond happy and ready to say yes. The next, you were on the edge of a panic attack! As much as you wanted to say that you didn’t care what your parents thought...you couldn’t. You did care what your parents thought. After all, they were the ones that had fed and clothed you all of your life. 

There was the thought that you could  talk to them logically about wanting to marry Richard but that was quickly thrown out the window. Neither your mother nor your father would willingly let you marry the man. These were the people that for lack of a better term abandoned their only son over his dealings with alcohol. If you told your mother and father that you wanted to marry one of the biggest alcohol producers in the town would work about as well as stabbing them and telling them not to bleed.

Richard was right about one thing. You would be well cared for. In the months that the two of you had been together, Richard had never the least bit unloving. 

You wished that your parents would look beyond the whole bootlegging issue and see that Richard was a decent man. Sure, his ass may not be in the front pew at church every Sunday but what did that matter? 

You too were beginning to question your father’s sermons. Of course, if you said that, all hell would break loose in the house! Not believing in God was a huge no-no! You rolled your eyes at the thought of apparently thinking for yourself was a no-no. Your father was still sticking with the old school ideals of women not needing to think for themselves. That idea didn’t sit well with you and you were beginning to question everything about how you were raised. What was so wrong with you, as a woman, wanting to have your own ideas and opinions outside of your father or a husband? 

That was one of the many things that you liked about Richard. He wanted to know your opinions on things. In the beginning, he had to pry things out of you. 

“Come on darlin, tell me what you are thinking? If I wanted to have someone that agreed with me non stop or repeat everything that I say then I would go buy a parrot. I don’t like birds so I would prefer your opinion.” 

You smiled at the thought. Not choosing Richard was beginning to sound like the stupidest thing that you could do! 

That afternoon you stood in front of a herd of squirmy five-year-olds trying to teach them about the alphabet. You were well aware that a good 65% of these kids didn’t care the least bit about the alphabet. Most of these children were poor farmers' children who would inherit their family farms. The ones that wouldn’t be farmers would go into some kind of business.  Those children were the ones that valued their education. 

Farmer’s kids or business kids, you didn’t care. You wanted to at least give them a fair chance. Halfway through a lesson, there was a knock on the door. You looked up, surprised to see Rob standing in the doorway. He gave you a shy smile and a polite nod. You couldn't help liking Rob. Hell, everyone in town liked Rob. It didn’t matter what his business dealings were or what exactly he got into with Richard. He was liked. Maybe it was the fact that he was nervous 95% of the time? 

You quietly shushed the children before following Rob out onto the porch. He gave you a shy nervous smile. 

“Good afternoon, Y/n.”

“Hi Rob. What can I do for you?”

Rob reached into his suit jacket pocket and handed you a small jewelry case. 

“Richard asked me to bring you this. He had a meeting with someone and couldn’t bring it himself. He said that you would know what it was for.” 

You frowned and opened the box to see a sapphire ring. Richard wasn’t going to give up and you didn’t mind. You smiled looking at the ring. 

“Y/n, is that what I think it is?”

You looked up to Rob and was honestly surprised that he didn’t know.  He was Richard’s best friend. You figured that Richard would have told him! 

“Yes, it is. Please don’t say anything for the time being. This is kind of a big deal.” 

Rob nodded. 

“I figured as much. I, uh, have to go now.”

You smiled. Rob wouldn’t have stuck around for long. 

“Thank you, Rob.” 

He nodded. 

“You’re welcome. We would love to see more of you. For what it's worth, I hope that you say yes. You would be good for Richard.”

Rob gave you a small smile before turning and walking away.

You looked down at the ring before closing the box and tucking it into your dress pocket. As much as you wanted to put the ring on you decided against it. The moment that you walked in the door, your mother and father would be all over you! You didn’t own any fine jewelry and if you came home with a sapphire ring there would most definitely be questions. 

Getting home that day, your mind was all over the ring in your pocket. 

“Y/n is that you?”

You looked up at the sound of your mother’s voice. 

“Yes, mother.” 

Walking into the kitchen, you were surprised to see your mother dressed in one of her Sunday dresses. This was odd. 

“I’m glad that you are home!” 

Your mother said cheerfully. Raising an eyebrow, the curiosity got the better of you. 

“What is the occasion, mother? You are wearing one of your Sunday dresses.” 

Your mother smiled cheerfully and patted the table. 

“I want to talk to you.”

You walked to the table and sat down as your mother continued with the freakishly happy grinning. 

“We are having a guest for dinner.” 

Okay, this wasn’t news. Your family had guests for dinner all the time. This didn’t typically result in your mother going all out with the fine china and tablecloths. Your mother smiled again. 

“Todd Smith talked to your father today.” 

You couldn't help the disgusted expression that took over your face. The last person that you wanted to see was Todd Smith. The whole Smith family disgusted you! Not only were they fake but they weren’t afraid to “show off” the fact that they had money.

“What for?” 

Your mother smiled. 

“Todd has seemed to have taken a liking to you. He asked your father about getting to know you better.” 

Your heart stopped. What? Did you hear that correctly? The last person that you wanted to think about was Todd Smith.

“Mother! No! Todd Smith looks like a frog! He is the last person on this planet that I would want to date.” 

Your mother’s happy smile faded. 

“Y/n, stop right now! I don’t want to hear anything like that come from your mouth again! Todd Smith is a great match for you! He would be able to provide for you.” 

You put a hand over your face. This was probably the worst possible thing that could be happening! If your parents thought that you would marry Todd Smith, then they had another thing happening. If you needed yet another reason to run away to Richard this was the perfect one. 

“Mother, I have no interest in Todd Smith!” 

Your mother’s face narrowed. 

“Y/n, Richard Speight Jr isn’t a good choice for you.” 

Fighting to stop your mouth from dropping, you cleared your throat. 

“What are you talking about mother?”

Your mother’s green eyes narrowed. 

“I saw how the two of you were looking at each other. Y/n, you don’t need to be getting tied up in a mess like that. His family, I don’t care how much money they have, is dangerous. You don’t need to be getting tied up in alcohol and liquor like your brother. We have already lost him to it. I can’t bear losing another child. I don’t want you to have a painful life. If you marry Richard, that is what you will have. You will have a husband that is dead or in prison. Do you really want that? I wouldn’t think so. I am not saying anything to your father because we both know how he is. Now, I want you to go freshen up.” 

You stood up with a frown and immediately walked out of the room. There was no point in arguing further with your mother! This conversation alone told you that there would be no way that your parents would ever accept Richard. 

Storming into our room, you fought the urge to scream as you paced the room. Running a hand through your hair, you reached down and took Richard’s ring out of your pocket. Looking down at the ring, you knew that it was now or never. If you remained at home, you would end up with toad looking Todd Smith and be miserable for the rest of your life! That was the last thing that you were going to do! You had always been such a good girl...maybe it was time to shake things up? 

You quickly walked to your closet and yanked out a few dresses to shove them into an empty bag. It was done! You were done! Now you understood exactly why Jensen made the choices that he made. He didn’t want to end up being the good little follower that your family wanted. He wanted to be happy and he was going to make damn sure did what it took to be there! Now it was time to follow in your older brother’s footsteps. 

Walking to the window, you pushed it open and looked down. You could make that. It wasn’t that far. In the time that your parents thought that you were upstairs, you had enough time to be long gone. You quickly wrote a note for your parents to find. 

“Sorry but I’ve got to go.” 

“Here we go.” 

You muttered before tossing your bag out. Before going out yourself, you took the rings out of the box and slid it on your finger. 

20 minutes later you stood on Richard’s front porch. You took a breath before knocking. After a few moments the door opened, Richard’s mother stood on the other side. She looked beyond surprised to see you standing there. 

“Y/n, what a surprise. How can I help you?”

You tried to smile but you couldn’t. The realization of everything that you had done was beginning to sink in.

“Hello Barbara. May I please see Richard?” 

Barbara reached out and gently took your hand.

“Come in, sweetheart.” 

You walked into the house as Richard walked out of a room. He froze, totally not expecting to see you standing there. 

“Hey sugar.” 

Richard’s amber eyes flickered to his mother. She gave him a serious expression that mirrored their conversation from the day before. He knew that his mother liked you but she was afraid this would be a disaster in the making. 

His mother gave you a soft smile. 

“If you need anything, dear, let me know.” 

You smiled.

“Thank you, ma’am.” 

When his mother left the room, Richard held a hand out. You didn’t hesitate as he led you upstairs to his bedroom. As soon as the door was shut, you felt your floodgates open. 

“Yes! My answer is yes! We have got to go now!” 

Richard couldn’t help the surprised expression that took over his face. The way you looked absolutely petrified had him worried. 

“I have to say that this was quicker than I expected. What’s going on, darlin?”

You began to pace. 

“My parents want me to marry that stupid Todd Smith but I want to marry you. If I get with him it will be some epic disaster! I don’t love him! I love you!”

Richard was quiet for a moment as he took in everything that you had said. He opened his mouth a few times to speak but stopped. 

“You mean that frog looking idiot?”

You nodded, if the situation wasn’t so serious you would have laughed! Knowing that someone else thought the way that you did made you feel better! 

“Yes, that frog looking idiot! Now are we going or not?”

Richard smirked. This was the answer that he wanted. 

“You sure?” 

You threw your hands up.

“Yes, I am sure! I wouldn’t be standing here if I wasn’t! You were the eager beaver that wanted to get married so bad now today you are just standing there. Please tell me that you haven’t gone and changed your mind.” 

You about choked the last part out. Richard stood motionless for a moment before quickly closing the gap between the two of you. His arms were around your waist as he pulled you against him. You sighed as his rough five o’clock shadow rubbed against your cheek.

“I’d be a damn fool if I did that. Sugar, I want you. I don’t think that I would have sent Rob to give you that ring if I didn’t. I would have preferred to do it myself but...stuff happened. Now, what do you say about going to find your brother? Time to say, I do before your parents find out.”

The ride to Jensen’s was a silent one. You sat snuggled against Richard’s side while one hand lay rested on his thigh. 

“I have to say that I am really surprised when you said yes. I was expecting a no.” 

He commented. You shook your head. 

“I wanted to say yes last night. I’m sorry for letting worrying about my family made me break things off. I’m not letting anything get in the way of my feelings for you again.” 

Richard quickly pulled to the side of the road. He turned to the side so he could face you. 

“Come here, beautiful.” 

You didn’t need to be told twice before placing yourself back in his arms. A few soft kisses turned to a hungry passion-driven make out session. Richard’s hands drifted to your thighs as you placed soft kisses to his cheeks. 

“Too bad you don’t get a virgin bride.”

You commented with a smile. Richard rolled his eyes.

“Oh please! I was the one that took it anyway so that doesn’t count. We could go right now if you wanted.” 

The offer was tempting! Not having his hands on you for some time was exhausting. This was another thing that would probably put your parents in their graves! If they knew that you had already slept with Richard (numerous times in fact) they would probably disown you. Good girls didn’t sleep around. That wasn’t what good girls did.

You stroked two fingers down Richard’s chest.

“We don’t have the time.” 

Richard nodded. 

“Yeah, you have a point.”

He started the car before glancing over at you with a smirk. 

“Wonder if your mom and dad have figured out that you were gone yet?”

You looked out the windshield with a dark expression. 

“I would say that they have.” 

Jensen was surprised to see the two of you at his door. When you told him that the two of you were getting married, he was even more shocked. Something told your brother that you were going to do whatever it took to keep your parents happy. Now here you were in Richard’s arms not giving two fucks what your parents had to say. 

Your brother stepped forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

“I’ve missed you kid. Glad to see that you are finally developing a backbone.” 

“I’m tired of being the good girl.” 

Jensen smirked. 

“This is a good way to start over.” 

His green eyes flickered up to Richard. 

“Take care of her...I know that you will but for ceremonial purposes, I have to say it.” 

Richard smiled. 

“You know that I will.” 

The next hour was the quickest of your life! Jensen had sent Matt out to find a preacher that wasn’t your father. Word would get out quick enough. It would reach your parents quick enough and you didn’t give a damn. 

Never in a million years did you think that you would be getting married in your brother’s living room. You had always expected to get married in your father’s church. Hell, your mother had even saved her wedding dress in preparation to wear it. Yet here you were no wearing it. Instead, you stood in a mint green dress that, at the time being, was the best wedding dress around. 

The preacher was one from the Methodist church. You knew him in passing. He was clearly shocked to see Richard and yourself together. This was the one coupling that he never expected to see together! He knew that you were the local baptist preacher's daughter and he definitely knew who Richard was. 

“Is this a joke?”

He asked. You turned and looked at Richard. He didn’t look the least bit amused. 

“Hell no, this isn’t any joke. Now are you going to do your job or not?”

Jensen smiled from his place by the window. 

“You heard the man.” 

The preacher nodded nervously. 

“Yes, of course.” 

You had seemed to block out most of what the preacher was saying. Instead, your eyes were locked on Richard’s face. The realization of what you were doing was quickly setting in. You were giving up your life as a preacher’s daughter to become the wife of one of the biggest bootleggers in town. It was from one end of the spectrum to another and you were just fine with it.

__________

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[totesmccoats]

Mister Miracle #5

Scott and Barda spend their last day together in LA before his scheduled execution by Orion on New Genesis. The two visit the Walk of Fame, and Jack Kirby’s star specifically (unfortunately, not real 😦 ); make love, visit Oberon’s grave, go to Scott’s favorite deli, the carnival, the beach, and get stuck in lots of traffic. Scott doesn’t talk much, his longest continuous thought in this issue being an explanation of Descartes’ “cogito,” and Barda speaks less. Their dichotomy is made apparent, Scott wanting to make his last day with her special, while she’d prefer not to face it; as is their love for each-other. King writes these gods as human, but Gerads manages to inject one very evocative divine image into the issue that approaches dangerous levels of on-the-noseness. I also like to think he snuck in a visual reference to Fraction and Aja’s Hawkeye. This issue is the calm before the storm, heavy with portents, words still to be said, and actions against inevitability to be taken.

Wonder Woman #36

And, four issues into his run on Wonder Woman, James Robinson has jumped the shark.

This issue doesn’t start off well, with a bound Wonder Woman saying that feels hate towards her newly discovered brother. And yeah, hatred is a perfectly human emotion to feel towards someone who betrayed you, bound you, and plans to kill you – but Wonder Woman is better than human, she doesn’t hate.

Things do pick up when Wondy reveals she only let herself be bound so she could try to reason with Jason, and breaks out as soon as it becomes clear she can’t, and starts whooping Jason and Grail’s behinds; until a young-adult Darkseid pops in to turn the tables once more.

And then things jump the shark when Jason pulls a Vader-in-Return of the Jedi-face-turn and then last page spoilers Zeus shows up to save the day end spoilers. Ugh.

Thank goodness that the art team of Pagulayan, Pas, Parsons, and Fajardo Jr. give us something great to look at, starting when Diana breaks out of her bindings by completely destroying the wall she’s bound to, and continuing through her kicking Jason and Grail’s ass, and holding her own against Darkseid. And, despite how bad the actual plot of the final page is, the reveal is cool looking in it’s own right.

  The Flash #36

Barry races to Iron heights to find Turbine – not Kristen – dead of strangulation on the prison floor. And after arguing with Singh about whether his role in this case is as CSI or not, and Singh arguing with Wolfe over jurisdiction, and an attempted breakout by the Trickster; Barry realizes that his only lead in this case is August Heart – his former friend, and more recently, the evil speedster, Godspeed; but he’s a dead end too.

With no leads, Barry needs to blow off some steam, and luckily there’s a bank robbery – or rather, two simultaneous attempted robberies of the same bank – that give Barry and Wally the opportunity to cut loose.

All these threads aren’t unconnected, but rather a complex power-play made by Central City’s mysterious new crime boss, who’s finally brought Copperhead into the fold, and is preparing to recruit one more supervillain to finally take down the Flash and make Central City pay.

The issue opens with references to Sherlock Holmes, with Barry’s narration bringing up his childhood love of detective stories, and how they’re much less fun in real life, with real consequences. He may be rid of the negative-speedforce, but he’s still on edge, frustrated by the lack of progress he’s been having in pulling his life back together and the inscrutability of the city’s recent crime-wave.

  Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #27

For some reason, everybody, including Dorrine, really wants Nancy or Tippy-Toe to tell them how Squirrel Girl prevented Galactus from eating Earth. Not a huge spoiler, but turns out because they’ve been kidnapped and trapped in a hologram by a race of alien squirrels hoping to find out how to stop Galactus from eating their planet. They’ve been visited by a very jock-ular Silver Surfer and his bros, who tell the squirrels that either they forfeit all their riches – which they don’t have, being squirrels – or they’ll blow up their planet to easily digestible chunks!

Meanwhile, Dorrine searches all over for her missing friends, eventually consulting the new Sorcerer Supreme, Loki, for help. Loki, being tight with Nancy, agrees to help, but before he can, he and Dorrine are transported to Dormammu’s dark dimension!

I don’t know what Loki’s like as the Sorcerer Supreme in his own book, but I’m enjoying how he’s pretty much Taako Adventurezone in this one. That’s the voice I gave him in my head when I read it, at least. North’s interpretations of Marvel’s characters are always enjoyably skewed, which makes this issue’s “Silver Surfer” a bit of a meta-joke, even if what’s really happening is obvious from the get-go. Also, all of the squirrel names are fantastic, A+.

  The Wicked + The Divine Christmas Annual #1

This annual is a collection of seven short glimpses into the early godhood of the pantheon, and how much sex they all had with each other. No, really. I mean, it’s not all sex; a pre-god Baphomet hitchhikes to get to a Morrigan show, and we see how Luci and Ami’s friendship changed after joining the pantheon. And even the fucking isn’t empty, highlighting Baal’s first time with Inanna, and Laura’s first time with Baal.

Plus, Gillan makes a sneaky reference to his own Young Avengers run. The art, by a small battalion of different illustrators, flatters, and colorists, is uniformly excellent; and despite not having much to do with the winter holidays, the book feels the part.

Is this issue skippable if you just care about the current plot and character dynamics? Yeah, pretty much. But also, if you care about WicDiv, it’s probably for the characters, so why would you skip this look into their earliest days as gods? Besides, Baphomet makes a lot of really good puns. Can’t miss those.

Comic Reviews 12/13/17 Mister Miracle #5 Scott and Barda spend their last day together in LA before his scheduled execution by Orion on New Genesis.